#he wants it more than anything and he will do anything it takes in order to achieve it or he will die trying

[maxlarens]

perhaps bsf!reader and ibiza!lando in a sitch where like, lando isn’t getting girls in the clurb bc everyone thinks reader is his girlfriend and he ends up pushing her away????????

-🧃

perfect and beautiful thank you!!! i feel like it’s been five hundred years since i wrote or posted anything, i sooo hope u guys enjoy this! not much lando when i read it back but i guess i had some emotions to hash out here?🤨

There's a certain level of willingness to be observed that you have to subject yourself to in being Lando’s friend. You know that full well. Have been more than aware of it in the past few years, as Lando performs better, becomes more and more known.

You’re used to it for the most part.

The wandering eyes that slide right off you and Fewtrell, to instead favour Lando’s head of dark curls. The skeptical ones that linger, wondering what someone like you is doing around someone like him.

At least you have Max to commiserate with. To share that pulse of shame that beats like a second heartbeat occasionally. To remind yourself that Lando is your friend, not some burning star whose wreckage you’re caught in.

You’d never want him to feel like his success is a burden, or that it’s not always the easiest thing in the world to be his friend. That’s not really the case anyway— you’ve never had a friendship like the one you have with him. Max might be a close second, but it’s not the same. Point is, you’d move heaven and earth just to continue being friends with Lando.

It’s just— the eyes—

There are a lot of them on you here.

Appraising (but never of you independently, always in relation to Lando. You can tell), skeptical, jealous, bitter, even pitying. You think it must have something to do with Lando and the way he’s got his arm slung over your shoulder. The way you’re leaning into him as he bops to the beat of the music. The way you’re holding his drink in your hand, lifting it up for him occasionally so he can gesticulate in his conversation with some friend of his that you’re only vaguely acquainted with.

You feel the eyes on you as you half listen to them chat. Something dislodges, seems to wriggle around under your skin, or settles in the pit in your stomach and gnaws. Anxiety, something like it. Shame again perhaps? You just know Lando’s arm feels heavy. Your clothes don’t fit right, on your body or in this club. You’re suddenly sure that you’re an imposter, a fraud.

You look for Max, eyes darting around but only find unfamiliar faces looking back at you.

It’s not that your chest starts to feel tight or anything like that, it’s just that out of nowhere there seem to be one million ants crawling around inside your body. You take a deep, steadying breath and it burns. The back of your neck seems to give way, your head spinning.

You blink hard, bring yourself back.

You duck out from under Lando’s arm and mutter, “Be back soon. Bathroom.”

Lando nods absently, lets his arm drop back to his side. You’re not sure what to do with your drink or his, he doesn’t seem to care. So you drop them on an empty bar table and flee to the toilets.

They’re semi-private, dark and (best of all) quiet. Apparently soundproofed from the club outside of it, there’s some crackling lo-fi playing on low volume and blissfully no one else seems to be in here with you.

Because it’s apparently a bathroom for the upper-echelon, there’s a plush armchair in the lounge section that you immediately collapse into. You shove your face into the cushions and breathe slow until your heartbeat returns to what feels like an appropriate pace.

You pull out your phone to text Max,

Ever reliable and always understanding, Max talks you down from the proverbial ledge. He convinces you to go back out and to talk to Lando, who’s always been able to kill the nervousness in your gut when he puts his mind to it. If that fails, then Max promises to order you a taxi back to the hotel.

You thank him profusely, apologise for interrupting anything he was doing with Pietra and gather yourself as effectively as you can—

(“Hey. Is she your girlfriend, man?”

Obtuse as ever, Lando frowns, eyebrows furrowing with it, “What? Nah, she’s my best mate.”

Tony, tips his head back and laughs, “Doesn’t look like it to me. Are you sure?”

Lando nods, crease creasing even harder, “Definitely.”

“Dunno mate, you’re all cozy with ‘er,” Tony shrugs, “If you’re looking to get some this weekend you might want to dial it back.”)

—and back into the crowd.

You fight through to the booth where Lando, his friend and a few others, that you’re again, only tangentially acquainted with are. Lando has moved to sit down on a couch, still wrapped up in conversation with the same guy. He’s got another drink.

You’re half-expecting him to hand a vodka soda with lime to you when you sit down next to him. You feel a confusing mix of guilt and upset when he doesn’t, only barely turns his head to acknowledge you. You sit for a moment, adjusting your dress your bag. Not needing him to stop talking altogether, but hoping to be brought into the conversation. Even for Lando to move so you’re not just staring at his back.

Okay, you blink, maybe this is on you? Maybe you shouldn’t expect drinks from him like that, maybe you should be grown up enough to know how to enter a conversation. Maybe you shouldn’t be sitting here feeling sorry for yourself as you watch him lean over and talk to a girl on the other side of the railing.

You’re ignoring the burning thing in your eyes as you survey the back of Lando’s head and the pretty girl that he’s hanging out of his seat to talk to.

She doesn’t look anything like you.

You feel pathetic just watching them. Especially when her eyes flit briefly to you and you offer up a well-meaning smile. It’s a little weak, a little cobbled together but you’re not a bitch. She might be though— she sneers at you. Only for a short moment, when Lando’s not really looking, but you see it nonetheless.

Oh. Alright. That one’s gonna stick with you.

You turn away immediately, blinking quickly, but tears dropping anyway. You pull your phone out, admit defeat and try to at least quell the thing that’s lodged itself in your throat all of a sudden.

You sling your bag back over your body, then reach out to grab at Lando’s shoulder. You squeeze a little, wait for him to turn his attention to you while you press a knuckle not-gently into your eyeball.

He half-turns, looking up at you but holding a hand out to someone who’s talking to him. Still half-listening to them. You frown, feeling confused over anything else. This… isn’t like him. You don’t get it, why isn’t he treating you like he normally is? You’d understand if he wanted to spend time with other people over you, you get that. Why wouldn’t he just say that if that’s what he wanted? Because that’s clearly the case.

You manage to choke out, “I’m gonna head off.”

Eyes glittering and huge in the dancing lights of the club, his mouth parted, he nods up at you in confirmation. Briefly, you make eye contact before he’s being drawn back into conversation by a shout.

“Sure, yeah. See you later,” he says, patting the hand on your shoulder, then dismissing you as he turns away to pay attention to someone else.

You can’t tell if he’s being a total asshole or you’re pathetic. You know what Max would say. And you’re leaning towards the same thing right now— he’d have known. Seen it plain as fucking day in your expression when he’d looked at you. You don’t know what to make of it. You think you just feel sick.

It’s not like you need him to cater to your every whim. You’d just expected a little bit more. At least for him to notice that you’d nearly had a panic attack in the bathroom. At least for him to not go from being totally normal to icing you out all of a sudden—

and you know he’d done it on purpose, intention aside. You know. Because, historically, he’s been no stranger to it. He knows exactly how it feels.

You’re more hurt by that than anything else.

this turned out longer than i expected lol. but yeah, angsty sorry i didn’t prepare u guys😵‍💫 i’ll either write a part two or i’ll write something else for them in ibiza that isn’t so angsty soon!!!!!

[menagerofmischief]

Dia's Diner Menu

olives and cheese friends to lovers cold appetizer rough sex ceaser salad "Lie to me again and you're not gonna like what happens next" sarma "Gonna put a baby in you" orange juice overstimulation strawberry lemonade breeding kink (chicken skewer) "Be a good girl and come for me"

Oscar Piastri x best friend!roommate!reader

TW; fingering, unprotected sex, tinder and bad tinder dates, kind of asshole!oscar at the start

WC: 2k

A/N: can't decide if I love or hate this. also tysm for 100 followers, I love you guys.

❀

I hummed, doing my best to pretend I was listening for possibly the hundredth time this night. I watched as Jake, proving by every second to be my very failed Tinder date, rambled on and on about himself. The stories were never ending, and therefore neither was his talking. 

I leaned my head on my hand, praying he was going to run out of oxygen and choke so I wouldn’t have to listen to him talk anymore.

This whole thing was a bad idea.

I first joined Tinder because I was bored and wanted an easy out from my crush on my best friend, Oscar. This was my third date with a guy I met on the app and each guy, along with each date, was proving to be worse than the previous.

Example A: Steve

First of all, who goes on a date with a guy named Steve. But putting names aside Steve wasn’t all that bad until he was asked me to go back to his place. Which was his mother’s basement. 

Example B: Tod

Was holding a fish in his profile photo. Ordered me a salad. Proceed to talk about his buddy Kevin for the whole night and then ditched me to hang out with him. He may have been more into Kevin than me, to be honest.

And finally, sitting opposite of me, talking about his big finance job, we had example C: Jake.

Perhaps it was about time I gave up trying to find anything on that stupid app and accepted defeat. “Listen,” I pushed my chair away from the table and got up, grabbing my bag. “This has been really interesting but I need to get going.” I took enough money to cover the things I had and put it down on the table before walking away.

✿ ✿ ✿

“Had fun?” Oscar asked from the couch once I entered the apartment.

I put down my purse and the bag from the convenience store and started taking off my heels. “Sure,” I said, straightening up once I was done. “I just love hearing about finance.”

I looked over at him. Oscar was sitting on the couch in a pair of gray sweatpants and a white shirt. He was watching TV, some random movie playing on one of the channels.

Oscar and I shared an apartment - but he really only occupied it on the off season when he wasn’t traveling from one country to another every week. It worked out well for us, I had someone to split the rent to and Oscar didn’t have to bother with finding someone to take care of his place while he was traveling - so it was win-win.

I walked over and sat down next to him on the couch. I pulled a pack of Oreos from the bag and opened them, putting one in my mouth before offering the pack to him. “Want one?”

Oscar took one, turning it around in his hands quietly before looking at me. I could tell by the expression on his face that he was annoyed and his eyes had a dark look in them.

“Wow, okay.” I said, trying to get up from the couch. Sitting in my room and binging Criminal Minds it was then. “If I was annoying you, you could have just told me to go to my room.”

Before I could make my move to leave, Oscar grabbed my wrist. His hold was rougher than I expected, fingers digging into my flesh. “Why are you going on all these dates?”

“Honestly Oscar, why do you care?” I tried pulling my hand away but his hold wasn’t budging.

“Because every time you get dressed up, go on a date with some random guy and come back here with snacks. And then we sit on the couch, eat snacks and you tell me all about how terrible your date was.” He said, his eyes narrowing. “And I nod along, so sympathetic, pretending I actually care.”

I scoffed at him, using all the force I could and yanking my hand out of his grasp. “Fuck you, Oscar!” I told him, rolling my eyes. “No one made you listen to me. You could have told me I was bothering you and I would have fucked off.”

“It’s not that you were bothering me!”

“Oh yeah? Then what is it?”

“I like you, damnit!” Oscar all but yelled, jumping up onto his feet. His hands grabbed my shoulders and I looked up at him. “I like you! And I’m mad. Mad that you’re dressing up for some guys from Tinder when I’m right in front of you.”

My eyes widened, mouth agape. I must have looked like a fish. “Oscar,” my words were quieter than I expected them to come. My voice cracking. “You never said anything.”

“I didn’t think you wanted me to.” He confessed, his thumb rubbing the skin on my shoulder.

I licked my lips, looking up at him and offered a gentle smile. “I like you too,” I whispered, almost afraid to say it any louder.

Oscar doesn’t waste a second. As soon as the words are out of my mouth he is surging forward, smashing his lips against mine in a kiss much different from what I imagined our first would be like.

His hands move from my shoulders to wrap around my waist, pulling me into him. His lips are rough against mine, his tongue pushing into my mouth. I can barely breathe and my head is feeling fuzzy but still I do my best to kiss him back.

Before I know it, Oscar is picking me up, my legs wrapped around his waist and our lips still connected. Then he’s carrying me to his room and laying me down on his bed, crawling up to me to resume our kiss.

“Fuck,” Oscar mumbled, finally detaching his lips from mine and pulling back to look at me. “I wanted to do that for so long.”

“Me too,” I said, cupping the side of his face, rubbing his skin with my thumb. I wrapped my legs around his waist, trying my best to grind up into him and gain any friction by rubbing myself against the bulge in his sweatpants. “Please, Osc, need you!”

“Need me?” Oscar growled, pulling away a little and pushing up the bottom of my dress, exposing my panties to him. His fingers rubbed over the wet patch on my panties, making me buck up into his touch. “Is that right? You need me to fuck you full of my cum and make you go stupid on my cock, is that it?”

I whined when he took off my panties and roughly pushed two fingers inside of me without any warning. It was an unexpected stretch with just a little burn to it to leave me breathless.

“Tell me, Y/n,” he started, his fingers pushing into me hard and fast, not slowing down at all. “Why’d you join dating apps?”

I took a breath, trying to compose myself enough to form a reply. “Was bored,” I whined, gripping onto the sheets.

He gave me a dark look before his free hand, the one he wasn’t pleasuring me with, came down full force to slap my pussy. I all but screamed out, my body jolting forward with the shock of it and grabbed his shoulder with one hand to steady myself.

“This was a little preview,” Oscar said with a chuckle. “Lie to me again and you’re not gonna like what happens next.” His eyes fixated on me and my cheeks burned both with embarrassment and from how good I was feeling. “Now try again.”

“I didn’t think you liked me so -” I cut myself off with a moan when his fingers pressed against my G-spot, stroking it a few times before going back to thrusting in and out of me. “Fuck Oscar! I wanted to find someone so I could get over you!”

“Good job telling the truth, bad job at trying that,” he said. His thumb started playing with my clit, rubbing it in circles and I moaned loudly, feeling my orgasm approaching. 

“Osc, I’m gonna cum, please let me cum.” I begged, the feel of his fingers inside of me and the added pleasure of having my clit toyed with pushing me fast toward the edge.

“Go on,” Oscar encouraged, keeping the rhythm of his fingers. “Be a good girl and cum for me.”

I didn’t need to be told twice. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, I was sobbing out from pleasure, my orgasm crashing over me and my hips bucking up. 

Oscar pulled his fingers out of my pussy, making me whine at the loss of being filled with something, and keeping his eyes on mine brought them up to his mouth and sucked them clean. 

I sat up a little and reached for him. Oscar let me pull off his shirt and I took a moment to admire his naked chest, running my hands over the ridges of his abdomen. Then he helped me take off my dress and bra, kissing me gently before he started trailing kisses down to my neck and collarbones.

“Osc,” I mumbled out, my fingers pulling on the strings of his sweatpants. “Fuck me please! Need to feel you in me. Need to feel you filling me.”

Oscar wasted no time, taking off his sweatpants and boxers in one go. I only got one good glance at his dick before he was pushing it inside me, bottoming out in one thrust.

He was big, the tip of his cock kissing against my cervix and with each thrust I could see an outline of his dick bulging out on my stomach.

“Fuck,” Oscar grunted. “We could have been doing this much sooner if you had just said you wanted me to fuck you.”

“You could have said something as well,” I shot back.

“Yeah but I wasn’t the one on dating apps.”

Oscar’s hand sneaked between us, his thumb once again finding my clit and starting to circle it. I screamed out in pleasure, hiding my face into Oscar’s neck. “So good, Osc, fuck,” I babbled. “Gonna cum again.”

Oscar sped up, both his thrusts and his fingers. “I’m gonna cum too,” he grunted. “Fuck, gonna put a baby in you so everyone knows you’re mine. You like that huh? Yeah you do, I can feel you clenching around me.”

His thumb brushed over my clit one more time and I was screaming out as my orgasm crashed into me. It didn’t take long for Oscar to reach his peak either. His hips stilling as he spilled himself inside of me.

Oscar rolled himself off of me and laid down on the bed. We laid in silence for a few minutes, only the sounds of us panting for breath filling the air. Then the bed creaked when Oscar got up.

He left the room for a moment and then came back with a towel and my pajamas. He got on his knees in front of me on the bed and started cleaning up the mess between my legs. I whined when he brushed my clit, “Hurts. Too much, Osc!”

“Shh, it’s okay, I’m just cleaning you up.” He said, bowing his head down and pressing a gentle kiss on my thigh. I let him do the rest without much protest. Once he was done he tossed the towel away and helped me put on my pajamas, then got into his.

Finally we got under the blankets and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a cuddle. 

“Are you free tomorrow night?” He asked, his fingers playing with my hair, making me shudder with delight.

“Yes,” I whispered.

“Good,” he hummed. “I’m taking you out on a date.”

I only managed a smile and a nod in response before falling asleep.

[bro-atz]

you had your chance, and you blew it

in which: maybe reconnecting with your former flame was a bad idea...

pair: non-idol!san/afab!reader

word count: 3.6k

content: smut, angst (everyone gets mad at bro), san and reader used to be fwbs, san's kind of a dick ngl, themes of infidelity, alcohol consumption (beer/wine, no one gets completely intoxicated), rough sex, kinda jealous sex?, oral sex, fingering, cum swallowing, unprotected sex (PLS REMEMBER TO WRAP UP IRL!), consensual!

rated: R | nsfw — minors do not interact

author's note: been kinda extremely depressed lately so i thought i would share the sad with the class <3

There he was. He was just sitting there looking more handsome than ever with a glass of his favorite beer and a soft, indecipherable look on his face. He took a sip then set the glass down before holding it in both of his hands, the ring on his finger tapping against the glass occasionally, making the faintest clink.

He hadn't noticed you yet. You honestly didn't want him to. Well, your heart didn't want you to, but your intrusive thoughts did. Luckily, you had entered the restaurant with another friend, so he was enough of a distraction to keep you from stealing glances at the man who grew distant from you.

"Hey," your friend prodded you. "Choose a wine already."

You looked to the side to see the waiter holding their notepad ready to take your order. You quickly found a wine on the menu that sounded the most appetizing, allowing the waiter to finally leave with your drinks order.

"Is everything okay with you?" your friend asked.

"Y-Yeah, why?"

"You keep looking over at the bar with a look on your face."

Shit, you weren't that discreet apparently. You shook your head and mustered a smile while saying, "Nothing, I just thought I saw an old friend."

The waiter returned after some time with two glasses of wine, and the two of you shared a toast before sipping on your wine. Even though he was talking to you, you still couldn't help but look at San sitting over at the bar. He was alone, and based on the lack of seats around him, he was going to be alone. A slight smile played on your lips before you cleared your throat and diverted your attention back to your friend. Well, you tried to divert all of your attention back to him, but you were still keeping an eye on the lone man at the bar.

"So, I was thinking this for the appetizer," he pointed at the menu when the waiter returned. "You cool with that?"

"Yeah, sure," you nodded absentmindedly.

"Since when were you a fan of Brussel sprouts?"

You quickly snapped all of your attention back to him and the waiter before realizing that you had spaced out yet again. Your friend laughed and said, "We'll take this instead. Thank you."

The waiter noted down the order, leaving you and your friend at the table alone again.

"What is with you today? I mean, I always knew you were a bit of an airhead, but this is too much," he teased.

"Shut up, Hongjoong. I just had a long day," you grumbled.

"Haven't we all?"

"Okay, fine, my days aren't as long as yours but... I don't think this wine is going to be enough for both of us to drown our grievances."

"I would say let's just drink the entire bar, but at least one of us needs to be able to drive us home," Hongjoong sighed.

"You were my ride here, so does that mean if you get drunk, I get to drive your car home?" you asked with mild excitement— Hongjoong drove an expensive car, and you always leaped at the opportunity to get your hands on that wheel.

"Hmm... Maybe..."

"Then you, my good sir, should drink," you bowed your head. "I can always party it up at home."

Hongjoong laughed and took another sip of his wine right as his phone buzzed. Annoyed, he turned it over so that the screen wouldn't flash, but the second he did, his phone started buzzing like anything because someone was calling him.

"Shit, it's the hospital," he groaned as he glanced at the name on his phone.

"You're just never going to catch a break, huh?"

"Never!" Hongjoong complained. "The hospital is filled with a bunch of other fucking doctors, but when something goes wrong, I'm always the first one they fucking call me."

"You're just that competent. Be proud that everyone trusts your judgment first!"

"Way to put lipstick on a pig. Anyway, I am so sorry, Y/N. Dinner's on me. Here's my card. I gotta run."

Hongjoong placed his credit card on the table and grabbed his coat and phone before beelining straight for the exit. You watched him disappear into the night before returning to your lonely glass of wine. When the waiter came to take your order, you ended up sending him away, saying that the appetizer was enough— when Hongjoong left, there was still a lot of it left on the table, so it truly was enough for you.

When the waiter disappeared to process the payment, you couldn't help but look in San's direction one last time, only to see that he was looking at you as well. He tilted his drink as if to toast, and you hesitantly responded in the same fashion.

You got the receipt and started gathering your belongings to head out of the restaurant, but a little part inside of you kept nagging you to go and say hi to the man at the bar. Sure, things didn't end well between the two of you, but that didn't mean you weren't allowed to still miss him, still crave his touch.

San's eyes followed your every movement as you approached him. The look on his face only got curiouser and curiouser the closer you got, especially with that half-smile on his face.

"I didn't think I would ever see you in a place like this," San commented instead of greeting you like a normal human being.

"I could say the same thing to you," you shot right back, a smirk spreading across your face.

San smirked back. He took another sip of his beer before setting it down and turning so that he was fully facing you.

"So what are you doing in a place like this?" San asked.

"I came for dinner. You?"

"Just came for a drink after work," he said with a shrug.

"You drove here?"

"Yeah."

"That doesn't sound too safe— Maybe you shouldn't drive?"

"Nah, I've been nursing this beer all night, so I'm good to drive," he explained, easing your anxiety that there wasn't going to be another drunk driver on the street tonight. "What about you? Did you drive here?"

"No, but my ride had to run back to work for an emergency, so I'm probably going to have another drink or five on his dime then catch a taxi home or something."

"Or five? How many have you had so far?"

"Just one glass... I definitely need another."

You reached your hand out to flag down the bartender, but before you could get their attention, San reached for your hand and brought it back to your side. He lightly grazed his fingers up and down your arm before taking your hand into his large one.

"Don't drink any more tonight," he said, his voice low.

"Why not? I don't need to drive."

"But you do need to have a clear head for... Other things..."

He wrapped his other arm around your waist and held you closer as he got off the barstool. You held your breath when you felt San's body press close to yours, his head lowered as he took a slow, heavy breath. You knew this mood of his from your past— he wanted you, and luckily enough for him, you wanted him, too.

"Are you sure...?" you asked in a hushed voice when 

San didn't utter a word. He only held you tighter, the heat from his hand searing through your thin dress. His hand remained glued to your waist as he paid for his drink and led you out of the restaurant. 

Neither of you said a word as San's muscle memory drove the two of you back to your place just like he'd done several thousand times in the past. As soon as you got to your place, he helped you out of the car and led you to your own apartment, his hand never leaving your wrist until you got inside your apartment. 

San pinned you against the wall, and he immediately crashed his lips into yours. His hands gripped and kneaded your waist as you held onto his shoulder with one hand and ran your fingers through his hair with the other. His hips kept ramming against yours the more feverish your kisses got, and you could tell he was raring to go. You worked on the buttons of his shirt, revealing a sliver of his skin. You pulled one of the shoulders off and ran your fingers along his rippling muscles, making him let out a little sigh of desperation. He wanted to fuck you, and you wanted to fuck him badly, but he just had to ask a question first.

"Who was he?" he asked breathlessly.

"H-Huh?" you nearly whined when he stopped kissing you.

"Who was that guy?"

"Which guy?"

"The one you were at the restaurant with," he said with a low, bitter voice.

"Oh, you saw him, huh?" you teased.

"Answer the question."

"Just a friend," you answered with a gasp when you felt his large hand squeeze your hip tightly. "Why do you care?"

San didn't reply. He simply moved his hand to your neck, his fingers pressing lightly into your skin. He sucked on your lower lip as he kissed you over and over again as if he couldn't get enough of your taste.

You held onto San as he pressed his entire body against yours, pinning you further into the wall even though there was already little to no space between you and the wall. His hips impatiently rubbed against your clothed skin, and then they impatiently rubbed against your bare skin when he bunched and moved your dress up.

"So you just go for dinners wearing skimpy little dresses that barely cover your skin with guys who are just friends?" San breathed out heavily while running his hand along your hips and waist.

"You're acting as if I've never dressed like this before," you responded while stifling noises that acknowledged how much you enjoyed his touch.

"Then tell me," you heard his breathing in your ear and his teeth nibbling on the end of your ear lobe briefly before he trailed his nose against the edge of your jawline. You felt his hand slip past your stringy underwear, his thick fingers stroking your folds and collecting your arousal. "Do you sleep with any of these friends?"

You bit your lower lip and shook your head— you hadn't slept with anyone after San.

San's thumb moved your chin down slightly, making you open your mouth wide enough for him to stick his fingers in your mouth and give you a taste of yourself. You barely got to suck on them before he took them out of your mouth and brought them right back to your cunt. He held the back of your head and kissed you roughly as he shoved his fingers up your cunt rashly.

Holding the roots of your hair tightly in his fist, he stopped kissing you abruptly once more and moved your head so he could bury his face in the nook of your neck and take in all of your natural scent.

"Really? I'm having a hard time believing that," he said gruffly.

You held his wrists and tried to get him to slow down because your pleasure was building so rapidly you didn't even remember to breathe. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came, your arousal squirting out and soaking his hand.

San didn't let you have any time to recover. He carried you to your bedroom and tossed you on the bed. He took— more like tore— your little black dress and panties off you and tossed them aside along with his shirt. He pushed your legs up and ran his tongue along your folds one time, and instead of eating you out like you assumed he would, he moved back up so that he was face to face with you, and his fingers pushed their way back into their cunt.

You were still riding the high from your last orgasm, making it so much easier for San to make you cum with his fingers again. You gripped his arms in an attempt to move them and get him to lay off, but he was an immovable force, so you came all over his hand again, your arousal staining your bedsheets.

Blinking the stars out of your eyes, you looked up to see San hovering right above you, a smirk plastered to his face.

"You know what I think?" he asked as he trailed his finger along the side of your face and down the center of your chest.

"What...?"

"I think you haven't slept with another guy because you know no guy can fuck you silly the way I can."

Gripping your waist, San flopped back onto the bed and brought you along with him so that you were straddling him. You pressed your hands into his V-line for stability while he held your thighs in place. You looked into his eyes with a little bit of confusion etched onto your face.

"Come on. You know what to do," he said as he let go of your thighs and moved his hand to the back of his head.

You looked at the waistband of his pants around his thin waist and unbuttoned his pants. You pulled his pants down, San lifting his hips to "help" you, freeing his cock from his underwear. He finally moved his hands from the back of his head to completely take off his pants before you took his thick cock into your hand. Stroking it, you were about to scoot back and start sucking on it when San grabbed your arm and pulled you back to where you were.

"Mmm, I don't have the patience for that. Just sit down."

You knelt above his cock as you rubbed it along your folds, and as soon as you felt the tip of his cock slip inside you, San moved your hips down for you. You cried feeling his cock rush through you so drastically, and you couldn't help but fold. Your chest pressed against San's, and you panted heavily into the nook of his neck as you heard a chuckle rumble in the back of his throat.

You were waiting for San to let out a quip of some kind, but he truly did mean that he had no patience because you felt his hands grip your ass intensely. He held you in place and rammed his hips upwards slowly, but with immense power each thrust, making your entire body shift forward.

Since San's mouth was right near your ear, you could hear his faint grunts of desperation, and you did your best to choke back your cries just so you could hear more of him. You were hoping to hear his breathy whine as he came, but there was no chance of that happening because he flipped you so that your back was pressed into the sheets and he was above you.

San gripped and adjusted his grip on your thighs as he pushed your legs up. You hooked your arms behind your knees to hold them in place, allowing San to ram his hips against yours with full force, the sound of your skin slapping each other overpowering his pants and your cries.

His hands once again gripping your waist, he moved you up and changed the angle of his thrusts slightly, rubbing inside you just right. You bit down on your lower lip and squeezed your eyes shut as you felt yourself cream around his cock.

After cumming for the third time, you felt your body and mind turn to putty. You let go of your legs and gripped the sheets below you when San suddenly sped up, his cock moving inside you so quickly that he practically started a fire inside you.

As soon as San felt that he was close, he pulled out and got off the bed. One hand stroking his cock rapidly, he held your throat gently with the other and guided you so that you were sitting up. He pressed his fingers into your neck only when you were sitting upright and looking at him with completely open eyes, his tongue diving into your mouth.

You barely got to run your fingers through his hair when San stopped kissing you. His fingers moved from your neck to your mouth, sticking two fingers in your mouth to open it wide for him. Groaning loudly, San's cock twitched, and his cum spurt out to land in and around your mouth. You kept your mouth open until he was completely finished, and when he looked down at you with dazed eyes, you closed your mouth and swallowed the cum that managed to make your mouth.

"You know..." San said as he wiped the remaining cum off your face and pushed his thumb into your mouth so you could lick it clean. "I've always thought your face was really pretty when it was covered in my cum."

"It's a shame that you only came in my mouth then," you replied.

"Did I say I was done with you?"

You looked into San's eyes and saw a glint cross it, then your eyes trailed down to his cock twitching back to life. You shot him a cheeky smirk before he pinned you back down on your bed because he was definitely not done with you that night.

You woke up the next morning expecting San's arms to be around you— he was the clingy type after all— but instead there was a huge space between the two of you in the bed. You were facing away from San, so you had to turn over to see him.

God, he looked so fucking good with his hand behind his head, his bicep flexed and much thicker than the last time you saw him. His soft chest moved up and down slowly as he breathed peacefully in his sleep, and you were simply entranced. You decided to scoot closer to him so you could fit into the empty space by his side.

In the past, you used to fit perfectly into his arms, but something was off this time around. You didn't notice it until you traced faint circles on his bare chest with the tip of your nail, stirring the man from his sleep and making him move away from you.

"Good morning," you said quietly, your heart starting to race anxiously when you saw him get out of bed.

San didn't say anything. He simply reached for his discarded clothes and began dressing himself, only intensifying your anxiety.

After the night you shared, you thought that maybe something sparked between the two of you again, but now with the way he was treating you, you had no idea what to expect, but you knew that it wasn't going to be good for you.

"I hope you know this is a one time thing," San said as he stood at the foot of your bed and buttoned up his shirt.

Yep. Restarting any sort of relationship with him was out of the question.

"What?" you asked with a light laugh and a smile, trying to make it seem like you weren't anxious or fearing the worst at all. "What do you mean?"

"I got a girl at home."

Your blood ran cold. Your eyes went wide, and the smile on your face dropped in record time. You were right in fearing for the worst.

"You... Huh?"

"I got a girlfriend."

You leapt out of your bed and covered yourself with a sheet before berating the man standing before you.

"So last night when you asked about whether or not the friend I was with was my boyfriend, you didn't fucking bother telling me that you have a girlfriend?!"

"Slipped my mind," he said nonchalantly.

You were truthfully at a loss for words. 

"Dammit, San! You— I— What—"

"Just spit it out already."

You glared at him. "You cheated on your girlfriend! You cheated on her with me?! Why would you do that?!"

"My judgment was impaired—"

"Are you saying I took advantage of you? You had one beer—"

"No, I'm not saying I was unaware," he clarified quickly. "I'm just saying that I made a bad choice because the second I saw you, I couldn't help but want you again."

Your heart shouldn't have fluttered, but it did, and it just made you more angry.

"You're an asshole," you bit out.

"Then tell me why you slept with me if you didn't want to?"

San looked at you expectantly, but you couldn't answer him because his reason was the same as yours. He smirked, and you so badly wanted to wipe the smirk off his face.

"You have no right to just— Everything you said last— Why would you— Fuck! You're the one who ended whatever it was between us," you managed to voice at least one of your thoughts, your voice trembling.

"You were the one who didn't want to get serious about us," he pointed out. 

"I was scared! I didn't want things to change between us, and adding a new label to it would've definitely changed things!"

"The second we slept together everything changed! Why the hell did you do it back then?!"

"Fuck that!" you yelled at him. "What about now?! Why'd you sleep with me when you have a girlfriend?!"

"Because I—" San cut himself off. He covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath before admitting, "Because I missed you."

You scoffed. "You missed me? You missed me, so you slept with me, but you're going to go back with her at the end of it all?"

"Why wouldn't I when there's no future with you?"

taglist:

@k-hotchoisan @eyeryis @sinnarols @hwallazia @yunhoszn

@nebulousbookshelf @starryriize @skteezcursed @jaehyunsprincesspeach

@sunshineangel-reads @dutchesskarma @yourlocaljonghoe @st4rhwa @frobin4ever

@sanhwajjong @certifiedmoa @therealcuppicake @yuyubeans @startlinglyoongi

@hyukssunflower @chewyhotteoks @bsehindu @dinossaurz @woomyteez

@isiloiale @ywtfvs @nvdhrzn @khjoongie98 @jaerisdiction

@ninoshome1 @aaa-sia @tiredlittlevirgo @preciouswoozi @woohwababes

@wmewtew @yuyusgirl @exololyunho @everythingboutkpop @bath1lda

@bitejoongie @jen176pink @sousydive @yyaurii @ateez-atiny380

@arabelleum @seeoonghwaa @oddracha @wonuwrites @wyrated

@flwrshwa @wooyoungqueen @luvt0kki @oreoqueen @kiki277

@bakarilennox @aurorajoye @aalisiyahxstar @taz-97 @pixie0627

@jjoongstar @apriecotte @lvrs-street2mmorrow @slyblonder @mingi-s-dimples

@httpseungmxn @jus2passtime @hwxbibi @seomisaho @tunafishyfishylike

@marsstarxhwa @tinyelfperson @slvtiny @hyneyedfiz @ultrapinkvoidbouquet

@tinkerbell460 @demigodmahash @starrymatz @booktoad @k-zuzu

@strss4snghwa @velvetskize @blade064 @lucid-galaxys-world

@onmykneesforateez @fr34k4c1dr41n @kienhawon @straytiny127 @sanhwalvr

@yuminhyunn @bunnythew1tch @wooyoungsbrat @s0shroe @hobarihope

apply for the permanent taglist here!

networks:

@atzhouse @cromernet @cultofdionysusnet

@ksmutsociety @k-vanity @wonderlandnet

[hey-august]

[Cross Guild Headcanons] That time of month

Finally got the motivation to knock this out after receiving this ask!

Warnings: NSFW, female reader, crocodile x f!reader. mihawk x f!reader. buggy x f!reader, period sex, oral f-receiving while on period, descriptions of blood, mild descriptions of violence but no violence or use of sharp objects during sex

🐊Crocodile🐊

You're on top, hands on his broad chest, and grinding down on his thick cock. Croc is blissed out, eyes open juuuust enough to watch your sinful ride.

Looking down, you notice smears of color you didn't expect. Something that explains why you felt extra horny and extra wet. Your fucking period made it's grand arrival.

You move to get off, but Crocodile stops you. He holds you with his hook. The metal is cold against your hot skin, sending a shiver through your body that earns a groan from the man beneath you.

"Keep going, don’t you dare stop."

Crocodile rolls his hips, prompting you to keep moving. Even though you try to gracefully take your leave, he doesn't want you to. And truthfully, neither do you.

"Fuck, that’s it, impale yourself on my cock. Stuff yourself."

His eyes are open and trained on you. He's thrilled watching you fuck through the initial embarrassment and discomfort, giving into the pleasure only he can give you.

"C’mon, let me fuck the cramps out of your womb."

Crocodile holds you still with one large hand and fucks into you, hard and deep. He can't decide what's a better view - his cock covered in your blood, or the beautifully whorish expression on your face.

Even after you've both cum, he continues to thrust in and out, mixing all of your fluids together. So fucking beautiful.

🦅Mihawk🦅

Mihawk has you on all fours, one hand braced on your shoulder and the other on your hip, pulling you back to meet his thrusts.

One time he pulls back and sees red smeared on his length and collecting at the base of his dick.

This one look turns him feral. Wild. It’s like a switch flipped.

It isn't the first time Mihawk has fucked you on your period. It's nothing new. But it's a more-than-welcome surprise for the swordsman.

His mind is filled with visions of slicing, the sound of clanging steel, blood pouring - it’s too fucking much. The brutality of his life mixes with the hunger you have for each other.

Mihawk doesn’t want to hurt you, he would never. But he's bloodthirsty and only you could satiate him. Only you could take him like this.

"That's it, you're taking this so well."

"You were made for this, you were made for me."

Mihawk spreads your ass so he can watch his slick and blood covered cock slam into you. He can just imagine your slackjawed expression as you cry out and cum on him.

Immediately after filling your cunt, Mihawk pulls out and shoves his face into your sopping hole, eager to have your blood on his tongue.

🤡Buggy🤡

You are bent in fucking half while Buggy screws you into the mattress. With his hands behind your knees, he looks down to watch where your bodies connect and sees the blood on his cock.

His movements pause and he's about to tell you, but then you say the words that have him twisted around your finger.

"Don't stop. Keep going."

There's no way Buggy would disobey those orders. Not when you you look him right in the eyes and ask so fucking sweetly from a mouth that was gagging on his dick moments ago.

So he keeps going, using his cock to stab into you, again and again and again. His thrusts are rough and mean, just how you like them.

The blood doesn't actually phase him. If anything, it's thrilling. He relishes each gasp you make every time he enters your body and leaves it bloodied.

"I'm going to ruin you," he promises.

Buggy will make good on that. He knows how to turn you into a filthy mess, and this time will be no different. He'll have you cumming on his cock until your eyes have rolled back, your legs are numb, and the sheets are stained.

When it's his turn, Buggy finishes by pulling out and stroking his cock, smearing the blood all over his hand, and coming on your stomach.

And then he'll admire the mess he made. The ruined mess you let him turn you into.

[doitforbangchan]

Playing Favorites - L.F

Pairing: Bakery owner!Felix x Shy!Reader

Requested: by @heeseungspookie literally forever ago thanks for waiting <3

Warnings: Fem/afab reader, very light smut, touching over the clothes, kissing, cursing, and fluff. so much fluff. Set in Felix POV

WC: 4.4k

Thank you to the requester for your patience on this, i really hope you enjoy it! not proofread :)

Masterlist

The bakery was slow this morning- more so than it had been all week- but it wasn’t a problem for Felix. One of his cashiers had called out this morning and as owner of the shop he had to take over front duties as well as baking in the back, and the slow day helped him keep up. ‘S.K.Z Bake-er-y’ was his pride and joy so he needed to work to keep it running smoothly. 

Even though it was more work for him Felix really didn’t mind having to man the front. It meant being able to see his favorite customer. As his watch showed it was 9:30am on the dot he heard the little bell above the door make a little jingle as it opened. 

‘Right on time.’ He thought to himself, not bothering to conceal his smile. Felix looked up from the coffee machine to see you coming through the entrance.

 Felix had met you about two years ago right after opening this bakery. He could remember the day you came in. 

It was winter and the snow was coming down heavily, covering everything in sight in a blanket of white. The bakery had only been open for about a week and was still unknown so there weren't any customers (nevermind the fact it was storming) and he was beginning to give up hope of having any customers that day- then the door jingled. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen entered his bakery. 

You were wrapped in a thick pink scarf that almost engulfed your whole upper body and there were small snowflakes stuck in your hair. He watched as you dusted yourself off and wiped your feet on the mat, then you looked up and made eye contact with him. Felix felt his face blush a deep red at having been caught staring and he quickly looked away and grabbed a coffee cup, then pretending to wipe it down as if it were dirty. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the little bell on the counter was rung. 

“Umm, hello.” You called out softly. He spun back around to face you, still too stunned by your beauty to say anything. You nervously looked in the cases at all the goods then back at him. “Do you, uh, have any croissants?” 

Felix shook out of his stupor, blinking rapidly for a second then giving you a shy grin. “Uh yeah. I’ve got plain butter, chocolate, vanilla creme and raspberry jam.” 

“Can I please get a raspberry one? And a hot chocolate please?” You took out your wallet and handed him a $10 bill. He tried to give you back your change but you shook your head. “No, you keep it.”

“Thank you. That is very kind of you.” He hid his blush by turning around again and quickly assembling your drink and pastry, adding a brownie to the tray as well. “Here you go, I hope you like it.” He smiled and set the goods down in front of you. 

“Oh I didn’t order the brownie..” You went to give it back to him but he put his hands up, not accepting it back. 

“It’s on the house.” He gave you a wink, internally cringing until he saw how your eyes lit up. 

There you were, wrapped up in that same oversized pink scarf and shaking the leaves off your clothes.Your eyes met his as you walked closer to the counter and you offered him a shy smile that made his heart flutter. 

“Good morning, Felix. How are you today?” You asked in a chipper voice. 

“Morning, sunshine. I’m doing pretty good, running the shop alone today. How about you? Want your usual?” and by ‘usual’ he meant a brownie and a hot chocolate. 

You nodded, “Yes please! And can you throw a maple donut please?” 

“Ooooo feeling adventurous today, huh?” He teased, placing both treats in a little paper bag and sticking a lid on your cocoa.

You playful flipped your hair over your shoulder with a giggle, “You know it.” You handed him cash and he once again only charged you for the drink and donut. “Felix, you can’t keep giving me freebies! You’re running a business!” 

“Sorry, it’s actually company policy that my favorite customer gets free brownies.” He shrugged, “If you have a complaint you’ll have to take it up with our corporate office.” 

“Felix.. Am I really your favorite customer?” 

‘Shit.’ He thought. He didn’t mean to slip up like that. 

“Uhh, I- I mean..” The boy stuttered, unsure of how to save himself. But luckily he didn’t need to. 

“Because you’re my favorite baker.” 

Felix looked at you and saw how timid you now appeared, hiding your face in your scarf after your revelation. 

“Your favorite baker.. I like how that sounds.” He grinned, his nose wrinkling as he began to giggle. He just thought you looked so adorable at the way you hid your face even further, his words clearly having an effect on you. “Please don’t hide from me! I didn’t mean to embarrass you, sunshine.” 

You slowly lifted your head out of your knitted garment, “M’ not embarrassed.” He gave you a look that said he didn’t believe you. “Ok fine I am a little bit, but I can’t help it. I don’t know how to flirt.” 

Now that had him taken aback. You were flirting with him? Since when did you do that? Usually he was the one who’s been flirting with you for two years. He realized he must have been standing there with his mouth gaping for too long because he saw the crestfallen look on your face. 

“Shit, I didn’t mean to make things weird. I’ll just go now.” You grabbed your goods and went to turn and leave but suddenly his hand shot out before he could even think about it. 

“Wait, Y/n don’t go!” He had leaped halfway across the counter to grab your forearm gently before you could walk away. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, you just took me off guard. I didn’t expect you to be.. Flirty with me.” 

“Really? I’ve been doing it with you for two whole years, Felix.” You shuffled on your feet, still letting him hold onto your arm. 

Felix felt speechless again, but at least this time he could feel the massive smile overtake his mouth instead of leaving it open like an idiot. The cognitive part of his brain told him that he had to say something.“That’s insane..” He began, “Because I’ve been flirting with you for just as long.”

He watched as you turned your head away so he couldn’t see the way your face heated up and the way you bit your lip. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Felix.” 

“No really!” The blonde protested loudly, then realized his shouting might freak you out more so he cleared his throat and lowered his tone, unintentionally using his deep voice, “ I mean, I would never lie to you. I’ve been into you since the second you walked into this place.” 

Felix unfortunately missed how his deep timber affected you, how your eyes widened and your fingers twitched, due to the door opening and the signature jingling of the bell signaling another customer. 

“Hi, welcome in! I will be right with you!” He called out to the new group that had entered, then quickly looked back to you, “If you don’t believe me then let me prove it to you. Here,” He grabbed a piece of receipt paper and scribbled down his number messily. “Is my number. I would love to take you on a date… I mean only if you want to.” 

You nodded your head and tentatively grabbed the slip of paper from his outstretched hand, “I do want too. I’ll uh, text you.” 

Felix could tell you were feeling nervous, especially now that there was a line of people behind you watching your interaction, “I look forward to it.” He smiled at you again, waving as you scooped up your items and exited the store. The man was feeling slightly dejected by the interaction until he saw you stop at the door and turn around to look at him again with a delicate grin on your face. 

----------------------------------

Honestly, Felix did not think there was a possibility in hell that you would actually text him- let alone that very evening. He thought he had blown his chance with you after practically throwing himself at you this morning (at least, that’s what his anxiety told him had happened) so when he was alerted that he had a message from an unknown number he couldn’t suppress the flutter of hope that swelled in his chest. 

Hi Felix its Y/n. I was wondering if you were free tonight? 

He immediately wrote you back, too excited to care about seeming desperate. 

hey! yes i am totally free! What did you have in mind? :)

He waited for a second then the three little dots that you were typing appeared. 

Well I was thinking maybe you would want to come over and watch a movie with me?  Plus i have a bottle of pink moscato thats been begging to be opened.

If you're up for it :) 

His cheeks were inflamed as he read your message. This time he could tell there was some flirtation in your words and it made his brain fuzzy. You wanted him to come over to your home and spend time with you.. There was no way he would ever pass up on that opportunity. 

Oh i’m up for it. I’m about to close up shop so I could be at yours in about half an hour?

Works for me 

Heres my address. I’ll see you soon :)

Felix hugged his phone to his chest dreamily then remembered he needed to finish cleaning up if he was going to make it to yours on time. He pocketed his phone and resumed the closing duties, now with a little more pep in his step. 

Knock 

Knock 

Knock 

The back of his hand wrapped on your door, the other was holding a large pink to-go box full of the unsold pasties of the day. He fidgeted with the hem of his jacket as he heard a soft ‘coming’ from further into your home. 

After a minute or so the door slowly opened to reveal you with a big grin on your face. His eyes swept over you momentarily, taking in your bare face and wet hair. He noted you must have just taken a shower. You were also dressed in an oversized light blue sweater and a pair of gray leggings. He had never seen you look so beautiful before. 

“Hi.” You said softly then moved to the side to allow him entry. “Come on in.” 

“Hello sunshine, I brought some donuts. There's a few maple ones in here too.” He entered your apartment and you took the box from him excitedly. 

“Thank you! Those are some of my favorites!” You closed the door and led him inside. 

Felix let his gaze wander around your home, taking in all the pictures on the walls of you and friends, and the many fluffy blankets that littered your couch. If your living room was this cozy he could only imagine what your bedroom looked like. 

“Sorry,” Your voice took him out of his thoughts, “I know it’s not much.” 

He shook his head, “No your place is great! Very cozy feeling.” 

You hummed, motioning for him to follow you. “You can set your coat down wherever.” You placed the box of goodies on your coffee table and plopped down on the couch, patting the spot next to you. The blonde boy shrugged off his jacket and hung it on the back of a chair then softly took a seat down next to you. You grabbed the remote and turned on the tv. “What kind of movie do you want to watch?” 

“Hmmm, maybe a romcom?” He suggested. You nodded and scrolled through the romcom section on netflix. Eventually you guys decided on ‘She’s the Man’. 

Felix opened the box he brought and pulled out a chocolate donut, taking a small bite. You had already set out the bottle of wine and two glasses. You grabbed the bottle and motioned for him in question, to which he nodded in response. You poured two glasses then handed one to him. 

“I hope you like moscato. It’s kinda all I had.” You said sheepishly, sipping on your drink. 

Felix sipped the drink as well, his palette being flooded with fruity notes. “Mm, it’s sweet.” 

The both of you sat next to each other while the movie played on your screen, every so often making commentary about the characters and sharing a laugh. It was a film you had both already seen a million times so neither of you minded talking through it. 

 About halfway through he noticed you had moved ever so slightly closer to him and now your shoulders were touching. You were so close he could smell the scent of your shampoo, the rich honey flooding his senses and making his head spin. He didn’t know if he should get closer to you or move away so he ended up just sinking further into the cushions instead, but you seemed to take that as an invitation to curl up even closer to him.

Now being able to feel the heat radiating off of your body it made him flush even deeper, both his body and something else beginning to stiffen. 

‘Oh no, please not now!’ He mentally begged, clenching his fists and attempting to control his breathing, willing the growing hard on to go down. 

“and when I close my eyes, I see you for who you truly are, which is UUUG-LAY.” You quoted along with the tv, laughing loudly. Felix let out a strained chuckle, trying to appear calm, cool and collected. Personally, he thought he was doing a great job at remaining inconspicuous, but evidently by the way you leaned off of him and turned around to look at him with a crestfallen look on your face said otherwise. “Felix..is something the matter?” 

“W-what?” He stuttered then cleared his throat, “Uh, nope, nothing’s the matter.” 

‘Play it cool. Play it cool. Play it COOL’ 

“It’s just that,” You twiddled with your hair and looked away from him, “ You’re so stiff and you really don’t seem too interested. I’m worried that.. You’re starting to regret asking me out.” 

“No!” He burst out loudly, then slapped a quick hand over his mouth. He blinked quickly then dropped his hand, “I mean, of course I don’t regret asking you out! I’ve been dreaming of being like this with you since I met you!” 

“Then what is wrong? Is it the movie? Do you not like the wine?” You hesitated for a moment, “Am I.. Not attractive to you?”

Now it was him who looked at you wounded, as if your words had physically marred him. “You can’t be serious.” but the disheartened downcast of your eyes told him you were. Felix reached out and cupped your cheeks with both hands, tilting your head up to look at him. “Y/n, Sunshine, please look at me.” You slowly did as he asked and he could see the wetness that was welling up on your lash line. “You have absolutely no idea how attracted to you I am.”

“Felix..” You whispered. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better. I know that I’m not entirely the picture of sexiness right now in my pjs.” 

Felix knew now was the time to be completely honest with you- to lay it all on the line to make you believe him. 

“Sunshine, I would never lie to you. I think you are the most gorgeous, attractive and sensual woman I have ever seen; pjs and all.” He gulped before he continued. “I’m sorry I seemed so disinterested and stuffy, I was just so nervous to have the girl of my dreams cuddled up so close to me I didn’t know how else to react- my body didn’t know how to react.” 

The man bit on his lip as he watched the understanding begin to settle on your features, a small ‘o’ shape taking place on your mouth. Your eyes flickered from his down to the visible tent in his pants that you somehow missed before, then back up to his. “You, you mean your..” 

“Hard as a rock because you were laying on me, yep.” He just knew his face was a deep shade of pink by now. Felix thought for sure you would call him a creep and kick him out so he went to take his hands off your face but your own quickly grabbed his and brought them back to your face. 

“Don’t.. Please keep them touching me.” You whispered, locking eyes with him intensely. “I like it when you touch me.” 

“You do?” 

You nodded slowly, “Yes. I think about it all the time.” Felix felt his breath hitch ever so slightly when one of your hands made contact with his chest. “I think about your hands on me, about the warmth of them on my skin.” 

The blonde baker could not believe the words that were coming out of your mouth. Where had the mousey shy girl gone and who was this bold woman? He didn’t know but he wanted more. More of your touch and of your confessions.

“Where do you think about them touching you?” His voice had subconsciously gone huskier and he luckily did not miss the shiver that went through you. Your reaction made him grow more brave and he trailed one hand slowly down to rest on your shoulder. “Here?” 

You shook your head, “Lower.” 

“Here?” His fingers lowered again until the backs of his fingers gently ran over the curve of your clothed breast. 

A quiet whimper escaped your throat. “Lower.” 

“Hmm,” He hummed deeply, “I think I have an idea of where you want me, sunshine.” He teased, “But I think there’s somewhere else I need to touch you first.” The freckled boy slowly leaned in towards you, giving you time to move if this wasn’t what you wanted. You surprised him again when you closed the distance hastily and crashed your mouth onto his. 

Your hands fisted his shirt, pulling him ever so closer to you and deepening the kiss. He whined into your mouth then he ran the tip of his tongue along your bottom lip, teasingly asking for entrance, which you granted immediately. 

This was easily becoming the best day of his life, especially with the way the hand that you had previously placed on his chest was slowly sliding its way down his stomach until your fingers brushed over the bulge in his pants. His instincts told him to buck up into your touch but the more civil part of his brain wanted you to explore at your own pace, giving you total control of him. 

Felix groaned loudly when your hand cupped his hard on, giving him a gentle squeeze. “Fuck, sunshine, you’re gonna be the death of me if you keep that up.” He panted against your lips. 

“Need you to touch me too, Lix.” He almost bust in his pants at the needy way you said his nickname. 

The man finally let his hand wander to the place you needed him, slowly rubbing over the fabric and feeling the wetness begin to seep through. “Oh my god you’re so wet, I can feel you through your leggings.” 

You buried your face into the crook of his neck and Felix let out a little giggle at how adorable you were when you were embarrassed. “Don’t point it out.” He felt you pout against his skin and squeeze him again. 

He used his pointer finger and middle finger to rub delicate circles over your core, being able to find your clit with ease even through the fabric. Felix felt your hips instinctually buck up into his, seeking more friction that he granted you by pressing harder. Your fingers were stroking over his length at a hurried speed now as he began to leave open mouthed kisses on your own neck, sucking on your collar bone that was exposed by your neckline sliding down. 

As ashamed as he was to admit it Felix felt like he could burst in his pants at any moment. The harsh friction of his pants on his cock shouldn’t feel so good but it does. He thought maybe because it was you who was doing it to him that he felt so fucking good. 

Felix wanted to make you feel as good as he felt- better even- so he rubbed a little faster over your bundle,then dipping his finger in between your nether lips quickly then bringing it back up to your clit. It seemed his efforts proved fruitful because your body started to tremble and he could feel your breathing pick up significantly. 

“L-Lix, I think m’ gonna..” 

“Go ahead, Sunshine. Let go fo’ me.” He purred in your ear (or that's what he intended to do but it came out more like a desperate whine). 

At his command he felt your body shake and you crashed your lips back against yours, his mouth swallowing your moans. Even through your leggings Felix could feel the way your core spasmed as you came. 

Felix greedily drank all of your sweet sounds, loving how noisy you got for him despite being muffled. In fact he loved it a little too much, because before he knew it he was rocking his crotch into you as you stroked him, falling apart under your skilled hand. His voice got high pitched and his whole body was alight with trembles. 

“Nnnngghhh, holy shiiiit” He cried against your lips, the warmth of his cum coating the inside of his pants and sticking to his skin. 

Felix pulled away from you after you had both stopped shaking from your respective orgasms. Your eyes were wild and teary with lust and he was sure he looked exactly the same way. Felix barely got even a second to catch his breath before you were on him, locking your arms around his shoulders and giving him another kiss. Though he was pleasantly surprised at the gentleness of your lips this time- he didn’t know if he would be able to take another round so soon and needed a reprieve. 

After a few seconds you pulled away from him slowly, your eyes closed and the most content look on your face. “That.. was really nice.” 

“Mhmm.” Felix lightly nuzzled his nose into your cheek, leaving a small kiss there in his wake. “It was perfect.” 

“Yeah?” You asked, seemingly getting shy again. 

“Yeah,” another kiss before he leaned back, looking into your eyes now. “My favorite, actually.” 

The sound of your giggle was the cutest sound in the world to him, there was no sweeter sound than when you laughed and he really wanted to hear it again. With quick fingers he dug them gently into your sides which prompted an immediate response; you squealed with laughter and let go of his neck, trying to pry his fingers off. “Felix! Don’t- no tickling!” But even as you protested you had that dazzling smile on your face. The one that made him fall for you in the first place. 

“I love you.” 

He didn't mean to say it- to spill the beans so suddenly on you- especially not on your first date, but his lips just let it slip. He was extremely anxious as he saw the shock on your face and you stopped laughing. 

Felix started to backtrack, “I mean, your laugh. I love your laugh, it’s so contagious.” He nervously chuckled looking away from you. 

‘Fuck, I can’t believe I screwed it all up in a second.’ 

“No, that’s not what you meant.” You quietly protested, then you surprised him again by cupping his cheek and leaning your forehead on his. “I.. Felix I love you too.” 

Even through his shock a wide smile began to overtake his mouth and suddenly he was flooded with excitement and new found vigor. Felix was inclined to believe you, as he never knew you as someone to tell a lie. 

You continued before he could, “I know it’s sudden and we haven’t spent a lot of real time together, but you have always been the sweetest man I had ever met. And you're so passionate. You care. And I think that seeing you chase your dreams and be so determined to make it work.. I couldn’t help but fall for you.” 

“Oh Sunshine. I’ve been in love with you since I laid eyes on you, since the first moment you walked into my bakery two years ago.” 

You both still had your foreheads together and with slow movements he leaned ever so slightly and laid a tentative kiss to your lips. You reciprocated instantly and went to climb further into his lap. 

As much as he loved kissing you and feeling you on him, the second that you rested your weight over his crotch he was reminded of the sticky mess he had made in his underwear only minutes prior, the cum cooling and making it extremely uncomfortable as it stuck to his skin in the worst way. 

“Sunshine,” He mumbled against your lips, “I uh, got a little problem.” 

“Hmm?” You hummed, trying to kiss him again. You pouted at him when his hands gently pried you off of him, but then you saw the cringe left on his brow. “What’s wrong?” 

“Well,” ‘Fuck this was embarresing.’ “I kinda blew my load into my pants.. And it’s starting to stick to my skin.” 

Your mouth made a small ‘o’ shape as you registered his words, then you burst into a fit of giggles that made Felix both want to swoon and also bury himself into a hole forever. 

“Lixie m’ sorry, I didn’t even think about how uncomfortable you must be.” You climbed off of him and stood up. “The bathroom is this way, I’ll grab you some sweats to wear if you want?” 

He nodded, “Yes please Sunshine.” 

“You can even shower if you want.. And if you do want I may even join you.” You offered him a wink. 

His brows raised at how bold you were becoming, pleasantly surprised once again. Before he went into the bathroom he pulled you back into him from behind, leaving a wet smooch directly on your cheek. “Thank you. I love you.” 

“I love you too, Lix.” You swatted him with a laugh, “Now go clean up. We have a movie to finish.” 

©doitforbangchan 2024

likes, comments and reblogs are encouraged! I love to hear feedback, it keeps me going :)

Permanent tags: @athforskz and @jehhskz

[fivelila]

The other side of everything

I think all of you have read the repeated sentences about what's wrong with Fivelila. So I thought I'd write my thoughts on it and maybe some of my headcanon.

1) Age gap

Problem: Ritu is 15 years older than Aidan. Five and Lila have an age difference in both directions, mentally he is much older and physically she is older.

My take: About the age of the actors, I'll say this much - the opposite is so common and many people don't find it strange. For example, did you know that Julia Roberts was 23 when her film Pretty Woman came out and that Richard Gere is 19 years older than her? And I haven't noticed anyone being disgusted by how that's possible. I could find some more extreme differences, but I don't think I want to.

Aidan is 21 and yes, he did TUA when he was younger, but a lot of people still think he's a kid. But no, he's not. Deal with it.

My headcanon: Lila is older than she looks. And that's thanks to the Handler and the work she does for the Commissions. Does any of us know how long has she lived somewhere outside of time? Sounds like another possible parallel to me.

2) Lila was cheating on Diego

Problem: Lila was unfaithful to her husband.

My take: Lila made it clear that she wanted a break with Diego and wanted to reconsider their marriage. Yes, the circumstances ended up being pretty wild, but it was more than obvious that she wasn't happy in the marriage. Among other things, it was over six and a half years for her before anything happened with Five. There are countries where such a long separation between spouses could also help to bring about an immediate divorce if necessary.

I also think that the only thing that connected them the most was their children and not that they were compatible as partners. A completely natural thing that happens really often in real life when someone builds a relationship on desire, which they mistake with love.

3) Five is homewrecker

Problem: Five is the reasons why his brother's family fell apart.

My take: It's not true. Five was not the reason that Lila and Diego had problems in their marriage. Yes, she was still his brother's wife and that's a bit morally grey, but their situation was complicated enough (as I wrote in the previous point) and it's completely understandable. By the way, don't people like this family precisely because their morals are often a bit grey? I guess that's probably only true sometimes, huh?

4) Five cheated on Dolores

Problem: Five was unfaithful to Dolores

My take: Sorry, but this is the biggest piece of shit ever. If someone prefers a relationship that Five made up in his mind just to keep himself from going crazy and heal his trauma, then our fandom isn't the one that's wrong. By the way, if Dolores was real and played by Rachel Delduca, she's definitely older too! I couldn't find the exact age, but it's pretty obvious that she's older than Aidan.

5) Five killed Lila's parents

Problem: Five was the killer of Lila's family and Handler could have kidnapped her. Her family may be alive, but it won't change the past.

My take: Yes, this is about the only thing that could never work in another story. Lila gets her family back, but it doesn't change what happened to her. Still, I think even she knows very well what it's like to work for the Commission and what it was like when an order came down. Handler bears most of the blame, even though she wasn't the one who killed them.

My headcanon: I don't think Lila had clean hands either, though we never really saw that much in the story. Still, even she could have been the murderer of some random parents of some random kids because that was her job. For example, she killed several people on the Commission to get access to past records in the barn, so it would be a bit hypocritical for her to blame others for actions that she herself had done before.

If you have any other thing I should discuss, please post it in the comments, I'll do another post about it.

[daengtokki]

part five // serial killer!Kim Seungmin/afab reader

WC: 11k

RATING: mature/explicit/mdni—contains: angst, sex, murder, medication usage, hallucinations, sa mention

SYNOPSIS: you walk into Seungmin’s life, and disrupt everything (part 5/?)

˗ˋˏ♡ I wasn't sure how many parts I would need to get to the end, but this isn’t it, ha—we’re not done yet! Thank you for sticking with me!

Please support and reblog if you enjoy! Reblogs help your favorite writers on Tumblr! ˎˊ˗

DEITY MASTERLIST

—taglist: @kkamismom12 / @r0tt1n / @heluvschibi / @feckinbecky / @missystay / @seungluvr / @babrieeee / @curiouscocoabean / @feelikecinderella / @carpioassists / @soulsbbg

Where do you go from here?

You can’t tell yet, because Seungmin hasn’t spoken more than ten words to you in the last three days. The feeling deep down in your gut was right, but despite your heartache, your sleepless nights, and your lonely days…this still feels normal. He heard the words, panicked(?), put a new wall up, and now you’re left with this painful, awkward silence.

But it’s not fair. He started this.

He said it first, and you don’t think he would say those words lightly—it didn’t take all these weeks to figure that out. You knew the night he came looking for you and finally managed to tell you he didn’t want you to leave. It took a lot out of him. Taking you in and caring for you has taken a lot out of him, even though it does seem to be the other way around most of the time. That came naturally, though. Being responsible for the people around you is your normal; taking the blame when things go wrong, or don’t work out…that’s all yours. Damage control is your specialty, but you haven’t done a great job of it lately.

Seungmin looks at you from his spot in the living room. He’s sitting up, but hugging his pillow and resting his head on the arm of the couch. This has been his typical afternoon for the last few days after taking his medicine, and you’re worried he’s adjusting poorly…hallucinating, and just not telling you.

“Did you eat last night?”

He closes his eyes.

“I’ll take that as a no. So, nothing since yesterday morning.”

Maybe if you go over there and beg him to say something; get down on your knees and plead, you’ll get a word. You want to tell him about your nightmare last night. If you were thrashing around and talking in your sleep, he didn’t hear you—he didn’t wake you and comfort you. You woke on your own, gasping for breath and clenching the sheets, and Seungmin’s eyes were shut tight. Trying to get any sleep after that was useless, so you gathered your pillow, a blanket, and Daengmo (he was looking at you, at least) and left him there.

Daengmo is still here on the opposite end of the couch, like a strange mirrored image of his owner.

“I can try to make you something”

Nothing.

“Or I can order it. I haven’t exactly mastered Korean cooking yet.” But not for lack of trying. You’ve consumed nothing but news, dramas, and cooking shows lately to help with learning the language. And to make sure you don’t hear anything else about Seungmin’s last kill. So far it’s been quiet, but it’s only been three days.

“I’ll just go grab something.” You throw your sweatshirt on and head for the door, “you can eat it if you want…” tighten your shoelaces, grab your keys. A mumble comes from him as you reach for the doorknob, and you almost ignore it. “Did you say something?”

“I said I’ll come with you”

It takes him a few more moments to sit himself up, but once he gets that far, he seems to wake up. You wait patiently by the door as he changes, and he makes a point to duck into the bathroom and fix his hair. Another thing you did in complete silence; dyed his hair, and you noticed him staring at the trashcan where the he threw the negative test. Seungmin comes back out looking almost exactly like he did the day you met him; the black and white windbreaker, the calm, somewhat confident look in his eyes. You’re not sure where that came from. He even grabs the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table on his way to you.

“What are you in the mood for?” You tread lightly, not wanting to disrupt whatever jumped into him so suddenly. It was silly to think you got through his worst, but you hoped for just a moment that the closeness and the consistency would help…and the medicine. You still have a long way to go.

“I like your cooking”

You’re not sure where it came from, but you think you see a smile around his cigarette.

“Thank you for cooking for me. And everything else.”

Seungmin watched, or stared absently at you folding laundry this morning. It was then you wondered if it was on its way back—his itch. It has to return eventually, but you hoped you both had more time. The cocky look on his face makes you think otherwise.

“I like doing it.” For him you don’t mind it, and it’s because he doesn’t expect it of you, or demand it.

“Right here”

He opens the door, and you can feel the heat. The smell should help perk him up if his appetite has returned.

“What are we getting?”

“Galbijjim”

It’s small and crowded inside, so when Seungmin finds you an empty table to sit at, you hesitate. “You don’t wanna take it home?” You’ve already gotten a few looks, and you’re not sure if it’s just directed toward you, or the two of you together. It doesn’t bother you much, but you remember how Seungmin felt on the crowded train. “It’s pretty busy in here.”

“No, I’m fine if you are”

But you do notice his eyes wandering around, taking in each person, letting them linger for far too long.

“How are you feeling, still sleepy?”

“Hm?” He doesn’t look at you.

You try to find exactly what he’s looking at, and you do. It’s obvious. Seungmin is staring at one of the girls waiting for an order. His eyes are pitch black, all pupil, when he finally shakes himself free to look at you.

“I said,” your voice shakes, so you shut up and try to calm the wild heartbeat in your throat. “How are you feeling…with the medicine?”

Still he doesn’t answer, but he’s looking right at you.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna go back home? We’d be more comfortable on the couch…we could watch a movie, maybe.”

“I’m good, the medicine is…” he drops his gaze to his hands, and you follow. Seungmin starts to fidget; pick and scratch at the table, stop himself and wring his hands together. “The medicine is fine.”

The medicine might be doing its job, but fine isn’t the word you would use, and Seungmin is not with you right now. He’s somewhere between his own head and the girl ten feet away…the one that is now staring at him. Now you’re hoping his feeling has returned, because the only alternative would be pure attraction, which she clearly shares. He wouldn’t do that to you after everything, though. Your jealousy is just winning over logic.

“Good. You seem less tired.”

Ignoring it is difficult, but you have to. What else are you supposed to do; confront him, ask if this is his next target, and just wonder why? What is it about her that appeals to him, and in what way…murder? Sex and murder? Just sex? You need to know…that will happen again. You remember him telling you that last time. But you remember everything else, too. There is no denying or hiding your jealousy.

“You’re right, maybe we should take our food home.”

/ / /

The two of you start walking, food in hand, but it takes about ten seconds to realize why he changed his mind about staying—he’s following her. Why is he doing this while you’re with him?

“Seungmin, where are we going?”

“I need you to do me a favor.” His tone is flat, uninterested. He’s not asking you a favor, he’s giving you an order…calmly. “Take the food and go home, and then leave for a while.”

“What? Leave and go where?”

“Anywhere…coffee shop, the university library to study…shopping.”

He’s getting rid of you to seduce her. Kill her, yeah, but first he’ll have sex with her in the bed you’ve been sharing. You have to do what he says, though, because you knew what Seungmin was when you decided to return to him, and you knew he’d return to this, eventually. Getting upset about it now might make him upset, and his medicine, combined with the itch, and then you on top of it all being jealous and difficult...it won’t help. You decide you should be grateful for the last few weeks you’ve had him all to yourself.

“Okay, I’ll go”

“Let me know when you leave the apartment”

“I will, I’ll text you”

“If for some reason it falls through, I’ll pick you up wherever you are”

You doubt it’ll fall through, not with the way she was looking at him. He’ll have another kill under his belt by the time the sun goes down.

Seungmin continues straight, and you take a left on the next block, but you watch him for as long as you can before he disappears. The university library is a good idea, but you’d only sit there and wonder what Seungmin was up to the whole time. You’d go through his possible actions, step by step, thinking of the two of them initiating. Touching, kissing, undressing. Her hands on Seungmin’s hips, pulling at his sweatpants to get to what you now believe is yours. Will it just be a blowjob, like the last time? Will he lay her on the bed and eat her out? That feels too intimate for him, but that’s because he’s so intimate with you when he does it. There is no reason for him to be careful and gentle and attentive to anyone else, especially if they die at the end.

Maybe shopping will keep your mind more occupied.

You unlock the door and look around the deserted apartment. The two of you have barely left before today and since the trip to Uljin, so it makes everything feel even more strange. The bedroom is cold, and you’re glad. Hopefully it stays that way for his guest, and it moves things along quickly.

You look around for yourself in the room…your clothes—you left the shirt you wore last night on the floor, but it’s technically his and isn’t out of place. Your bedside table is mostly bare, save for the end of your phone charger and a single necklace you haven’t worn in weeks. You open the drawer and drop it inside. There isn’t much of you in here, and it took until now for you to notice.

Next, you check his drawer. Everything is neat and exactly where it should be.

Seungmin feels out of practice. He’s gone this long without plenty of times, but he at least had most of the voices pushing him forward during his lull. Everything was silent this time; the spaces in his head were filled with your voice, and filled with thoughts about you if he let it wander long enough. They were filled with sex—good sex, the kind of sex he doesn’t get from his victims, and the butterflies you give him when you look at him as he wakes up every morning. But he can’t think about that right now. He needs to focus. He can’t think about the way you make love to him when he needs it. The way you actually love him.

“Are you following me?” The girl turns and asks, but there’s obvious flirtation in her voice. One hand, the one not holding her bag of food, lands on her hip.

His focus came a few steps late. “Following you? No. What makes you think that?” Seungmin licks his lips and puts on his best charming smirk. “Just headed in the same direction.”

“Where’s the food you got? And the girl…that definitely wasn’t your sister.”

“It doesn’t matter. Are you in a hurry?”

“Well, I do have a bagful of food, but if you let me drop it off to my coworkers…I can slow down for you.”

“I’d like that”

/ / /

He was a little worried you would put up a fight about returning home without him just to leave again, but the apartment is empty when he brings his guest inside.

“This is your apartment? You’re here all alone?” She takes off her coat, and Seungmin grabs it, taking a moment to get closer. He catches her eye, and then the scent of something sickeningly sweet…too much perfume. “No girlfriend?”

“Just us”

“Good, let’s get you out of jacket so I can get a good look at you”

Seungmin obliges and pulls at the zipper, and he’s thankful when he finally feels the blood moving to his dick. As soon as it’s over his head, her hands are on him, sliding across his stomach as his tshirt is pulled up, and he has to shut his eyes as she pulls him closer.

“Where should we take this?”

The touch is overwhelming. It’s like static as her hands slide up his bare chest. It’s off of him, and they close around his neck as she leans in—tall enough to get to him without Seungmin accommodating, and she puts her mouth on his. More static, and the taste of something sour.

“No,” he pushes her back, “don’t kiss me.”

“Damn…sorry”

“Everything else is fine”

“Are you sure?”

He wipes his lips, “yes,” and runs a hand down his dick, because he can feel himself losing momentum. “Take your clothes off.”

“You’re not gonna take em off for me?” She takes a step closer and touches his chest, his stomach, and her hand slides under his waistband. “You wanted this. Don’t you wanna touch me? Oh…”

“Yeah,” Seungmin grabs her arm, but she keeps her hand closed around him.

“Nervous?”

No, he doesn’t get nervous. Whatever he’s feeling is something else. Something he hasn’t dealt with before, at least not to this extent. He’s distracted, just like the day he met you and tried to make up for it with a quick kill—when you sent him that text thanking him for his kindness. “Take your clothes off.” He closes his eyes, moans it as her hand moves up and down his length, over and over, and he feels his dick growing again.

“I will,” she pulls Seungmin closer. “I want this. You gonna give it to me?”

Eyes still closed, he lets himself enjoy the slow, firm movements of her hand. “Yeah, I’m gonna…”

“Where’s the bedroom?”

“The bedroom?”

“Take me to your bed and fuck me. Isn’t that why I’m here?”

His legs shake as she frees him, and then she’s gone…looking for the bedroom herself, maybe. The first door she tries isn’t it—she flicks the bathroom light off and on a few times before slamming the door shut. Seungmin follows as she heads for the right one.

“Wow, this is cozy”

It is, Seungmin thinks, because you made it that way. The lamp on his side of the bed is clicked on, and the one on his dresser is as well. The lights around the bookcase are casting a warm glow on everything; the books and records, the music box, the flowers. The pillows are fluffed up and arranged in a way Seungmin never did it—a little chaotic, but still neat. And the bedspread is pulled down and out of the way. It wasn’t like that before the two of you left this morning.

“Make yourself comfortable,” he says, and he’s relieved when she finally starts stripping off her clothes. But then she heads toward the far side of the bed. “Over here.”

“Other side? Picky…” her pants drop to the floor and she sits, not so patiently waiting for him to come closer.

Time to stop fucking around and get things moving. He doesn’t want to leave you waiting somewhere longer than he has to—Seungmin didn’t want to do it at all, but there was no other choice. “I am picky. Take those off.” He heads to his drawer, and from the corner of his eye he sees her move up the bed and toss her panties to the floor. Right next to your tshirt. He bends to pick it and sets in neatly on the table as he slides it open.

“Where…what the hell?” He mumbles.

“What’s wrong? Please don’t tell me you’re out of condoms.”

There’s one left, and he quickly closes the drawer after grabbing it and the lube. “No, I’m not.”

“Good, get over here and let me look at you.” By you, she means his dick, still trapped in his sweatpants.

He slides them down his hips, just enough to pull himself out and stroke to get back to one hundred percent. No matter where he lets his mind wander, he can’t keep himself hard, and it’s beginning to piss him off. If he can’t use his anger right here, right now, then what’s the point? Maybe he can’t do this right anymore, either. Instead of letting his mind wander, he tries to shut it down to nothing; darkness, black…no, the white noise of an old television set. The fuzzy hum fills his ears as he goes for her, crawls on the bed, and pulls her thighs apart.

“That’s much better,” she says in her best seductive voice.

Shut up, he screams in his head. The relief of pushing his dick in makes him lose control immediately. He slides in without a single tease, and without much effort. Her cries of surprise and pleasure wipe out the static and he hears nothing but her. He hates it. He slams in harder, getting himself close as quickly as he can manage, but he can’t seem to get anything in return.

His hand works his way up, resting on her stomach as he fucks her, then to her chest where he can feel the shake of her screams and moans. Finally, it lands on her neck and it wraps around it with no protest from her. He squeezes, but not enough to scare her, because he hasn’t decided yet how long he wants to work to reach his orgasm…but there’s nothing. He forces a moan when their eyes connect, but it’s all he can force himself to do.

Tighter. Still, she reaches out only to touch him; his stomach, his hips as they roll back and forth. His arms. One hand grips his wrist, and the other holds onto the forearm flexing as his fingers squeeze even more.

“Okay…let go,” she croaks and smacks his arm.

Seungmin doesn’t let go, but his mind goes to tv static again.

“Let go!” She pushes her nails in, and it stings, but still he continues…and then something hits hard against his hip, and it burns and almost knocks him backward. Her kick somehow lands perfectly.

Fuck, his mind turns back on. He sees her scrambling to her feet and off the bed as he drops to all fours. “Fuck…”

Just as he turns and gets to his feet, she reaches for the doorknob and the door swings open. Again, he forgot to lock it. If he didn’t lock the front door…he’s close behind, but not close enough. Her hand is on the knob, it turns freely—and then you’re there.

You stand blank-faced at the threshold, and the girl stops in her tracks when she realizes she’s trapped. But Seungmin feels his heart drop at the thought of you being in the line of fire.

“What the fuck, both of you?”

She takes a few steps back. Seungmin can’t figure out why, because you’re smaller, and probably not much of a challenge to get through. It’s then that he sees the glint of his missing knife, gripped tightly in your first.

“Okay,” Seungmin says softly. Now what? This is not where he expected the day to go, and his mind is racing as he tries to picture where it’s going to end. The girl is frozen, terrified at which way to turn; Seungmin’s hands, or your knife; his knife, his hilt digging into your soft, innocent fingers. He steps to the right and finds your eyes, but you don’t look at him. And he can’t tell you to drop it, because if you do, she’ll run, and she might make it out if this building with a story.

“Please,” the girl begs.

Seungmin wonders if she’s thinking of taking her chances and pushing through.

“No.” Your voice is so soft, but he hears it.

“Nae salang…” do you even know what that means? Seungmin isn’t sure, but he saw your notebook full of Hangul practice; his name written over and over, pages full of 김승민, 안녕하세요, 사랑해요, your name, his name and your name together like a lovesick teenager. He didn’t know how to feel when he saw it because it seemed so private, but you weren’t hiding it from him. Thinking back to it now gives him that familiar feeling in his stomach.

You look at him for just a moment before your eyes move back to the girl, and you take a step over the threshold. She moves back, too, and Seungmin takes a cautious step to the side.

“Please don’t.” Now Seungmin begs—he begs you not to do what he sees happening in your eyes. “Close the door, and give me the knife.”

You shake your head, and Seungmin sees the tears brimming in your eyes.

“Please don’t unlock that part of you…it’s too much. It only feels good for a moment.”

“Minnie…”

“Yes, love?” He watches your knuckles stretch and your forearm flex. His heart pounds, but his stomach swirls and his cock fills with blood again no matter how hard he tries to calm himself. The sight of you standing there wielding his knife—it’s the same feeling he gets when it’s in his hands.

“It's too late for that”

His body shakes. His mind goes back and forth between the static and his clear view of you, the tears running freely down your cheeks. Have you really been here before? Is that why you came back to him?

Seungmin sees you move, and he hears the familiar sound of knife against flesh. The blade disappears into the girls chest, right between her ribs, and she falls to her knees as she gasps for air. You finally let go and take a step back to watch the aftermath of what you’ve done.

The gasps slow down and quiet as she lets herself collapse to the floor. Blood trickles onto the hardwood, but not much…you left the blade in place, and that’s slowing things down. Seungmin watches you watching the body, and he’s getting dizzy from his pulsing erection.

“Seungmin?”

He almost falls to his knees when you look at him, but he forces himself to move—one step, another step around the almost lifeless body. He slams the door shut and grabs your throat, guides your blank stare upward. Your eyes soften when they meet his.

“What have you done?” He whispers and kisses the corner of your lips. “Hm?”

“I’m sorry”

“No.” He kisses you fully, and brings you close enough to feel every aching inch. The grip on your neck tightens, he can’t help it. “Have you been here the whole time?”

“Yes”

“You heard everything?”

“Yes, but I couldn’t take hearing you in the bedroom…so I went out in the hallway…”

Seungmin is patient as you begin to sob quietly, and he frees you to hide against his chest. He has to be grateful that you didn’t leave, and that you were exactly where he needed you right outside the front door. “Why did you have my knife?” With his knife in hand, no less. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been much of a challenge. Right? Maybe he’s underestimating you. “Were you planning something else?”

You take a deep, shakey breath and he pulls you away from him. “I’m not sure."

“You wanted to kill her…even if she hadn’t almost escaped, you still would have done it.”

“I would have tried ”

“You succeeded,” he looks at the now lifeless body at their feet, and his hand finds your neck again. “And you have a lot of explaining to do,” Seungmin kisses again, working his tongue to the back of your throat as his free hand starts undressing you, “but not right now.”

You both nearly trip on your way to the bedroom, first coming through the door, and then again on the discarded jeans of your victim. The yelp down Seungmin’s throat doesn’t deter him from his kissing, but you pull away and look at what you stepped on.

“We’ll take care of it afterward…I will.” Seungmin is not worried about the disposal right now, even as blood slowly drips onto the living room floor, and text after text pops up on the dead girls phone. “I need you, now.”

You’re flat on your back, eyes on the ceiling, and Seungmin’s hands work quickly. His mouth works slowly, and his tongue moves just how he knows you like it. He takes his time with you, slowing down even more when your hands reach for him, and your fingers comb through his hair and pull. Seungmin takes your hand and gives you what you were stupidly afraid the dead girl would get—his hunger, and his overwhelming need for you. Seungmin doesn’t let go until you come, and you wait for more, because he always wants more, but this time he works his way up until he can kiss you on the lips.

“So,” he mumbles against your cheek, leaving little kisses as he goes. It’s not something you’re used to getting from him. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, Minnie”

“You can tell me”

“Tell you…”

“Anything you think I should know.” One more kiss and he’s up, heading for the door. “You can’t just be okay after this.”

Maybe he’s right. No, he is right, but you still don’t know how to start, or where to start. What you do know is that this is now partially your responsibility—the clean up, and getting rid of the evidence. Seungmin said he would do it, but he probably wouldn’t have made this much of a mess if you had listened to him. You snatch up her clothes, the panties and the jeans, and her phone slips from the back pocket and onto the floor. The phone…how does Seungmin get rid of the phones, and does he not worry about them getting tracked? He hasn’t been caught, so he must be doing something about it.

There’s a long string of notifications on the screen, mostly text messages, and all from the same person.

“Seungmin?”

He’s busy laying out a piece of thick plastic drop cloth, but he smiles sweetly when he looks up at you. “Yeah?”

“What do you do about the phones?”

He reaches for it, and as soon as his eyes scan over the messages, his face changes for just a moment. He scrolls through, and to his surprise, there’s no passcode. A few moments later… “I need another favor, a very big favor.”

“Yeah?”

“Pack a bag, bring whatever you might need…but not much. Start one for me, too.”

At first, you just nod. His voice is so calm, and nothing about his body language suggests you should be questioning his request. “Yeah, okay…”

Seungmin didn’t say to hurry, but you do anyway. And take what you might need? It depends on where you’re headed…his medicine, clothes, obviously. Oh, the clothes. You take the girls clothes to Seungmin, because the gears are starting to turn in your brain, finally. After that massive surge of adrenaline, and then coming down from your orgasm, your mind is in a strange, untrustworthy place…but you’re getting there. Every piece of damning evidence needs to be collected and destroyed, now, and there may not be that much time. What was it he read on the phone notifications?

You start packing faster, and start another bag for him. Eventually, you stop and scan the room, knowing you’re forgetting something.

“Oh, we need you…” you head for the bookshelf and scoop up the music box, opening it and swiping a few loose petals before you wrap it and shove it in your own bag. His drawer—it can’t stay, but is he bringing it along? You don’t bother him with the question, you just find a small box to throw everything in and add it to the growing pile.

Does Seungmin have anything else in the room? As far as you know, the drawer is where everything goes, but the minute you stop and think, you start to hear your heart pounding in your chest and throat and ears. It’s so loud. But you feel calm, despite it, because Seungmin is calm. You grab more clothes from the closet, and scan every corner while you’re in there. If Seungmin wasn’t so organized, you wouldn’t even bother, but the neat stack of shoe boxes catches your attention. There really isn’t time for this, but a quick peak won’t hurt.

The one on the very top has something scribbled out, but underneath in black marker there’s more writing: 00-03. Inside are photographs, not organized in anyway aside from the years written on the box. The first one you pick out and look at is baby Seungmin in the arms of his mother, and on the back is Hangul you can’t read except for his name. You wonder if his father took the photo. The next one is him again, a little older, sitting in a man’s lap—his father, you can only assume. You leave them out and open the next box: 06-08. This one is much lighter. Inside is, again, Seungmin and mom. You add that to the others. The next one is a family portrait; Seungmin, his mother, and his stepfather. Nobody looks very happy. You decide to try one more, and you finally find one of just him…a close-up of his young face, seven years old according to the year written on the back. Same chubby cheeks, same big brown eyes, same sideways smirk. You keep that one, too, and put everything else back in its place.

The shuffle and drag of something against the living room floor makes you move faster. Seungmin is probably working as quickly as he can, so you need to be ready when he is. The last stop is the bathroom, and you watch him work for a moment as you walk by; he’s zipping up a suitcase identical to the one from before, and he glances at you before you look away.

“Are we ready?” He looks at the bag you packed for him, and only adds a few more things.

“I think so. Where are we going?”

“We’ll figure that out after we get rid of the body”

Seungmin is quiet and focused as he drives, and right now, you’re not headed in the direction you expected; east, toward Uljin. You’ve been driving north for half an hour, and you still haven’t spoken up and asked him exactly what happened, or if he figured out a destination.

He looks at you, though, because eventually, he feels you watching.

“Hey,” you say as softly as possible. You’re turned toward him, knees hugged to your chest, “Minnie?”

“You should put your seatbelt on…you’re making me nervous.” His hand reaches out, and his fingers slide from your ankle all the way to your toes.

“That’s what making you nervous?”

There’s nothing nervous about him, actually. Seungmin bit down on his lip once since you’ve been watching, sighed twice, and mumbled to himself twice, at least that you caught. Very normal for him. If he is, he’s keeping it together for your sake, and you hate that.

“Yeah, a little.” He smiles at you and licks his lips. “We’re almost there.”

“And then you’ll tell me what’s going on?”

“Yes. And you’ll tell me…whatever I need to know, I hope.”

The seatbelt clicks, “I will, I promise.”

“Did you bring my music box?” It just hit him. He grabbed a few things, and he even checked his drawer. You assumed he saw the empty spot on the bookshelf, but he may have forgotten. Just as you suspected, he looks calm, but he isn’t. His mind is moving much faster than he’s letting on.

“Yeah, it’s in my bag”

“Thank you”

“We’re not going back, are we?”

Seungmin doesn’t answer right away, because he comes to an intersection and turns, and then turns again into an almost empty parking lot. “I’m not sure.”

“The Jasmine…we’re staying here tonight?” It's nothing special, and it's not very big, but the vacancy sign is lit up in the office window. Seungmin got here without directions, so he must be familiar with it.

He looks at the building, sees the sign already glowing in the early twilight, and then his face falls. “I forgot your flowers.”

“My flowers? The forget-me-nots? That’s alright.”

“No, I got you something else, and I was waiting until I felt better to give it to you”

“What was it, what kind of flowers?”

“Moonflowers. I’ll find you more somewhere. Let’s get inside.”

/ / /

Thirty-five miles away from home isn’t very far, but the small town you ended up in feels safe enough for the night. The man that checked you in hardly looked up from his book as Seungmin counted out enough money for two nights, just in case.

He withdrew a significant amount of cash before leaving Seoul, and brought even more that he had hidden even further back in his closet. Seeing such a large amount in one place was surreal, and sitting in the passenger seat putting the two separate amounts together for him was even more bizarre. You did your best counting it, writing it down, adding it up…

“Twenty-six million won…how much is that in American money?”

“I’m not sure,” he laughs and watches as you carefully sort the last few paper-clipped bundles. “Around twenty thousand maybe.” Seungmin smiles and laughs so easily, and it doesn’t seem the time for it.

“Definitely more than I’ve ever had at one time...maybe ever“

“Well now you have it, it’s all yours”

The room is small, about the size of Seungmin’s bedroom, but it’s clean and warm, and you don’t really care where you are as long as it’s with him.

“You packed a lot”

“Did I? It didn’t seem like much at the time…sorry”

“It’s alright. Maybe we just have a lot of important things.”

You unzip the biggest bag first and dig around, “that must be it,” pull out Daengmo, and toss him to Seungmin. He was almost left behind, but luckily he caught your eye as you were headed out the door.

“I thought we forgot you”

The way he holds him and looks at him reminds you of the little boy in the photograph—happy for the moment, comforted by his friend, and maybe a few good memories…but he can never quite hide the sadness in his eyes.

“Minnie?”

His mouth squishes to the side, and he looks even more like his seven year old self. Even the haircut matches. “Yeah?” The words get stuck in your throat when he looks from Daengmo to you. “I know, we have a lot to talk about—“

“No. I mean, yeah I know. I just wanted to tell you again, that I love you.”

“Still?” He smirks. “You sure?”

“I’m sure.” If he says it back, you’ll feel better, lighter. You just want to hear it again.

Seungmin doesn’t speak right away. He falls back on the bed, and you can hear him sigh. “I don’t want you to get hurt if something happens. It’s not fair. None of this is your fault.”

What is he talking about? You were the one holding the knife when it pierced the girls heart, not him, and that’s exactly how you wanted things to play out. He picked her, yeah, and he fully intended to do what you did, but something happened, and you got your chance.

He sits up again. “I’ve never had to protect anyone but myself.”

“I know I’m safe with you, Minnie”

You watch as he hears the words, takes them in, understands them. Maybe it’s like saying I love you to him again…maybe better.

He joins you on the floor and crawls closer, “I hope so.”

“I am”

He sets his lips against your shoulder, “I love you, too.” It’s just a mumble—barely enough to make out, but you hear it.

Seungmin waits a few moments, feels your lips on the top of his head. He knows it’s time to explain the situation to you, and then you have to explain yourself to him.

“You should eat before we talk”

The forgotten galbijjim is replaced, and Seungmin smiles sweetly as he watches you take your first spoonful of rice. “This looks better than the place we bought from earlier." It gives you butterflies, his still hesitant smile. "Are we sharing? Did you just get one bowl?"

"I'm not hungry"

You stare at him and wait for more of an explanation, but he just sits silently. Not having an appetite makes sense, and you can't really blame him. You shouldn't have much of one either, but you do, and you plan on feeding it.

"You haven't eaten in a while, Minnie. I'd feel better if you had some."

He just shakes his head and changes the subject. “The phone. The notifications. They read like a friend checking in on her, and then worrying when there was no reply, which is bad enough, because I usually manage to get rid of the phone before we get anywhere near the apartment. Not every time, though, and if I do and they notice it’s missing, they freak out and leave to look for it.”

He pauses and seems to gather more of his thoughts, and maybe give you a chance to say something.

“So you forgot to take her phone?”

Seungmin nods and takes a drink of his coffee. “I fucked up the whole thing before I even got started. My head was not in the right place to do this, but I thought it was what I needed. I was stupid and selfish."

The two of you stare at each other, and it feels like he’s trying to tell you more without opening his mouth—something he doesn’t want to say out loud, but his acknowledgment that it was a mistake from the start is a relief. He seems to be out of that fog that had him gripped so tight for days.

“She was sharing her location the whole time…to the same friend who was texting her. So the phone is gone and burned up with everything else, but the damage was done as soon as I let her in.”

“Seungmin, this is bad”

He sets his mug down, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…I may have ruined everything. The girl will be reported missing, and the friend will have some information about the guy who took her back to his apartment. I’m sure they’ll find some evidence I left behind, and if we’re lucky—”

“Minnie…”

“If we’re lucky, we’ll have a little more time together before my face is all over the news.”

“And if that doesn’t happen? If they don’t find evidence, or a body…or find you, if they even manage to come to that conclusion? The location she was sharing won’t be the apartment, it will be the building…and it’s a big building.”

“I like how practical you are, even now…yes, there are sixty-two occupied apartments in the building.”

“How the hell do you know that?”

Seungmin laughs and picks up his coffee again. “I own the building. I guess I never mentioned that.”

You’re surprised he still has any sense of humor, considering how worried he revealed himself to be. “No, you didn’t. That explains a few things, and might complicate them, too.”

“I know. They’ll look for me because I have everyone’s information, and I won’t be there, which might be suspicious.”

“Maybe, maybe not. Going out of town isn’t evidence for murder. I tried to clear out anything that would be suspicious—the drawer, the ten boxes of hair dye. You may have had other things I wasn’t aware of, though.”

“No, the drawer was the worst of it…that was everything”

The memory of finding your ear cuff in his drawer pops into your head. You probably threw it in the box with everything else without realizing. “You don’t keep trophies?”

“No, I don’t. If anything gets left behind,” he thinks back to the silver hoop earring dropped on the floor, “it’s because I messed up. I have no desire to remember them after they served their purpose—what?”

You’re grinning at him, and you don’t even realize it. Seungmin charms you, if you can call it charm, with little effort, and without even realizing it. “I like your brain. And learning more about you every day.

“You like my damaged brain?”

“I love your damaged brain”

“That’s a first”

“I'm sure another one of your victims was hoping for a second date before the first one ended abruptly"

"Like you?"

"Yeah, exactly like me"

Seungmin has to think. How many people does he have to think backward through; two dozen? More?"

“I have taken people out on real dates before…before taking them back. Sometimes it seemed like they were genuinely interested in me, but I never got the impression that those feelings stuck around.”

“Why not?”

“Mm, there was a girl I brought back to the apartment a few years ago. She was nice, even though I assumed the whole time we were both working toward one thing. But she seemed kind, and when we got to the apartment, she told me how badly she wanted to meet someone and develop something real, and that she was tired of being alone. Tired of dating apps and first dates, that's exactly what she said, and I don't know why I still remember that."

“So what happened?”

He returns to his silence, but you know there’s more to his story. The memory is returning to him slowly. “We got to the bedroom, and everything seemed to be going well, but then she saw Daengmo,” he turns and looks at him sitting on the bed, “and she laughed…asked me why I had that on my bed.” He sighs deeply, “she made me feel stupid.”

You remember the first time Seungmin took you to his room, and how out of place his little dog looked. The mood of almost everything in his apartment is grown-up and dark, except for a few things—Daengmo being one of them. But asking him about it was the furthest thing from your mind, especially the second time you ended up in his room.

“We didn’t get any further than that”

“You let her go?”

Seungmin shakes his head, “I’ve never let anyone go,” then smiles at you. “Did I seem weird? My apartment, and me…you left in such a hurry the first time. You must have thought something was off. Or thought I was off.”

Sort of, you think to yourself.

“Oh, you did call me weird. I remember now.”

Should you tell him what went through your mind on your first visit? “No, not you…your patience with me is what was weird.” Something tells you he can handle it, at least if it’s coming from you. “The expensive apartment was a little odd, only because I could tell you were young. But yeah, I did always assume something was off about you—the way you looked at me and touched me when we sat on the couch, I wondered if I was over-looking something. I wanted you—I wanted your attention, and your touch. That’s why I ran.”

“Because I was giving you attention?”

You nod.

“You seem to think so little of yourself…why?”

It’s hard to put into words, and it’s so much to dive into. Seungmin is going to want to know more—he’ll have questions, certainly more tonight than he had this morning. But you believe he’ll understand what you have to say more than anyone else you’ve ever spoken to, and that’s a comfort you’ve never imagined. “I was tolerated by everyone my entire life.”

“Tolerated?” He rolls the word around in his mouth and his head. His English is almost perfect, but some words are just not in his vocabulary.

“I was cared for, but nobody really cared about me.” You speak as simply as possible, but you’re sure he’ll understand. “I was fed, sent to school, had somewhere to sleep, but there was nothing else. No bedtime stories, and no help with my homework. No advice or comfort when I came home with a black eye from a playground fight.”

“Nobody loved you?"

“They may have, sometimes. It could be that I’m just forgetting…but when I think I remember something, it was because my sister was there with me.”

“She took it all?”

Spilling everything to him is easy. Every time you think you should stop for fear of scaring him off, you catch him looking at you with a warmth he probably doesn’t realize he has in him. “It wasn’t her fault. It was given to her. If they gave it to me, I would have taken it all, too.” And you remember exactly who he is, and how far away you are from scaring him.

“I’m worried I won’t always have enough in me”

"Enough?"

“Love. I’ll give you all I have, I promise.”

/ / /

Seungmin watches as you slowly dig through your bag. He’s grateful for how much you actually managed to pack so quickly and so well, because he already misses being home. You pull out one of his old t-shirts and hold it to your chest, and then find another small bag holding the contents of your important nighttime ritual.

“Shower? That will help you feel better.” He feels your kiss hit the top of his head, and a wave of pleasure travels all the way through him.

“Much better if you join me”

“I’ll grab my stuff…I’ll be in”

Now it’s his turn to dig around his bag, except he has no idea what you packed and where you put it. He pulls out his pill bottles and sets them somewhere he won’t forget them. Whether he’s adjusting to them or not is still a mystery, but if today is any indication…probably not. He’s been in a fog most of his time awake since restarting them. He's been seeing things far more frequently, and his dreams are still as intense as they've ever been.

The bathroom door is cracked and Seungmin can see the steam already starting to swirl out. You aren’t in the shower yet, though. You’re partially undressed, crouched down, back against the wall across from the sink.

“What’s wrong?” Seungmin’s drops to your level and his hands cup your face, but he doesn’t move you. He watches your eyes squeeze shut and then relax, over and over until he says your name. And they finally open. “What happened?”

“Just dizzy. I’m okay now, I think.”

“Do you feel sick?”

“I get vertigo when I’m anxious, and sick in the stomach from both. It’ll go away.”

He turns the hot water down, and you’re already attempting to stand before he can get to you again. “Please let me help you—hold onto me.”

“You gonna hold me in the shower, too?” You smile and squeeze your arms around him, but the dizzy feeling has mostly passed.

“Yes, if you need me to. I’m sorry you don’t feel well. I’m going to fix this, and I’ll get us back home."

somewhere in the middle of the forest, pine trees on every side, and up…he can hardly see the sky through the mist and crowded treetops. he doesn’t know where he is, this scene is new. if it wasn’t so unsettling, it’d be beautiful. but seungmin doesn’t get scared so easily…no, He’s not around this time to scare him. but someone is getting closer. footsteps crunch across the thick, cold forest floor. someTHING, maybe. the steps are off and far too light to be a person.

a black cloud bounces in the corner of his eye. and then again on the opposite side

crunch crunch

but it’s so loud. snowflakes start dancing in front of him. no, not snowflakes…what is this? the dead remnants of a distant fire.

scratch scratch

fingers…claws, digging into the bark

His eyes open, slowly and calmly. No pounding heart; no tears; no sweat rolling from his neck and forehead. It’s quiet for a moment and the only thing he hears is the tick of the old alarm clock. Seungmin wonders how you fell asleep with that sound in your ears.

scratch scratch

The door moves ever so slightly. The loose doorknob shakes. Two scratches, and then three. Over and over. He thinks he hears a whimper. Maybe he’s still asleep. Seungmin reaches back and squeezes your hip. He’s relieved to feel you shift and turn and wrap around him.

“I thought you were asleep,” you whisper and settle against his curled up body. “Bad dream?”

“Did you hear that?”

You stay quiet for a few seconds and listen. “No, what—“

scratch scratch

“That”

“I don’t hear anything”

Seungmin sits up, and your hands fall away from him. “You don’t hear it?” But he’s going for the door before you can answer him. “That scratching?”

Again, you listen and hold your breath, but nothing happens—no sounds, no scratching anywhere in the room. Seungmin is hearing something that isn’t there. You watch as he listens carefully, inches from the door, hand flat against it. The muscles in his neck and back tense as he goes for the lock, and then the knob, and he turns it so slowly.

There's nothing, but your heart still pounds like crazy because Seungmin is so sure something will be on the other side. He stops and releases it, turns to look at you, and he seems confused; tired, sad, and very confused.

“I think it’s gone, whatever it was”

Before you can respond, his hand grabs the knob and swings the door open. And nothing is there. Seungmin is standing alone in the empty doorway, and he steps out into the dark until you can’t see him.

“Minnie?” You really don’t want to get up and go after him, but you will. “Seungmin, please come back to bed.” Just as you throw the blankets off, you hear the creak of his footsteps in the hallway, and it’s hard to tell if they’re getting closer, or further away. He doesn’t reappear, though.

“Seungmin?” It’s so dark. It’s impossibly dark, even though it’s nearly dawn, and you don’t even feel his presence out here. Where could he have gone? He wouldn’t leave you by yourself with the door wide open and unlocked. “Please, Min—” the floor creaks again, as if someone is putting their weight down gently. Now you feel him there, and the outline of him slowly comes into view. “Hey, you’re scaring me…say something.”

He reaches out and grabs you, or someone does. It looks like his hand, but everything feels wrong. It squeezes your wrist and pulls you, and you’re face to face with something else—something that isn’t quite Seungmin. This isn’t who you just woke up next to. Two angry eyes stare you down, and lips pull back from its teeth before you manage to pull your arm free, but you lose your balance and fall backwards.

“I’m here, open your eyes...look at me…that’s better”

Everything is a blur, but you keep your eyes open and blink until he’s finally there. It’s really him…

“Hey, good morning”

It’s his brown eyes, big and full of worry, his pretty smile, and his messy morning hair. That horrible face won’t go away, though. It’s burned into your mind.

“Morning?”

Seungmin nods and comes down to kiss your forehead. “Yeah, we made it through the night. Bad dream?”

“Yeah. Strange one. Did you wake me up last night?”

He tucks you back under the blankets and curls up next to you, “no, I slept through the night for a change. I had a dream, but it wasn’t my usual one.”

“So you didn’t hear anything last night?" It's the second thing you remember after that face; Seungmin, if he were truly a monster. "Scratching?” You’re floating, suddenly…the room warms, or you do. Yeah, it’s you. A cold sweat starts as you force yourself up, and now your stomach spins. “I have to—”

“What? You have to what?” His hand touches your cheek. “You’re cold.”

Both feet touch the ground, but your legs won’t hold you up. He makes it to you quickly, and his arms wrap around you as you sit there doubled over in pain. All Seungmin can do is wait and listen to you quietly cry—there aren’t many people in the hotel, but it’s not empty. You can’t risk the attention.

"What can I do?"

"It's okay...it'll pass"

"I can get you to a hospital. Last night, and now your stomach."

“We can’t go to hospital, we don’t even know if they’re looking for you”

Seungmin knows you’re right, but he’s avoided checking any sort of news because he doesn’t want his world to truly come crashing down on him yet. “Can you look at me? At least let me get you back into bed.”

You sit up slowly, and he’s right there steadying you, hands on your shoulders. He doesn’t want to tell you how worried he really is. Seungmin thinks he’s done a great job so far of keeping himself and you calm, but he knows this isn’t going to go away so easily. “Where does it hurt?"

Everywhere, you think. You take his hand and spread it out right above your belly button. And then you slide it down below it. He pushes a little and the whimper catches in your throat.

“Let me know if it gets worse, or better.” His hand moves to your forehead, cold and covered in sweat. “I think it’s time we checked the news.”

/ / /

There’s not much you can do aside from observe until the pain eases up, and it doesn’t feel like it’s going anywhere. It gives you time to dwell on the dream, and the dream within the dream. Were you inside of his? “Where are you checking?”

Seungmin finds and turns on his phone for the first time since you left yesterday. “A few local news sites, social media. Looking on Twitter would be easier if I had gotten a name.”

“Is there anyone in your building you trust enough to talk to and ask if anything strange happened?”

Something hits him—some clarity, the sudden realization that his mind has been moving so fast it’s made him overlook the most obvious solution. “The security cameras.”

“You have cameras up?”

“I’m required to have them at every entrance and exit, but I turn them off as needed. That’s the only thing I didn’t fuck up yesterday.” He’s back on his phone, typing, and then watching silently. “Did you bring your laptop?”

Now you can clearly see what he sees—the screen is split into four separate camera feeds, and the quality surprisingly good. Seungmin turned the cameras off when he escorted the girl into the building, but he forgot to turn them off again after that. At 50x speed, he watches the main entrance, the side and back exit, and the elevator starting around the time the two of you snuck out the back.

Twenty hours of footage...tenants coming and going, and you assume Seungmin recognizes the faces that are supposed to be in and out. His eyes don’t leave the screen, and you keep quiet and let him watch. Three hours of footage later, he pauses it to rest his eyes.

“Nothing strange yet?”

“No, not that I can tell”

“You should eat something”

He shakes his head. “Maybe last nights food got you sick.”

“I didn’t eat very much”

Seungmin starts the footage again. Another three hours of almost nothing. “This doesn’t make sense. Did her friend not report her missing?”

“Maybe the police didn't believe her. At least not six hours after.”

Another three hours. Nothing. “How is the pain?”

You flip onto your back and let his hand wander over your chest and stomach. “A little better.”

“Good”

Three more hours. Seungmin picks up the speed between midnight and sunrise, and then slows it down again—9 am, 10, 11…nothing out of the ordinary. He switches to the live feed, and still nothing.

“So the apartment is safe for now”

“For now. We’re not going back yet, unless you start feeling worse.”

“Are we staying here?”

scratch scratch

Despite the pain, you push yourself up and look at the door. Did you actually hear that? Seungmin doesn’t move, so he obviously didn’t. You definitely heard it, and it sounds just like it did in your dream.

“We can stay another night, or we can find a new place on the way to Uljin”

The live feed still has his attention when you turn and set your feet on the carpet, and this time, your legs hold you up. Pain shoots from your belly button to your chest, and then back down, but you try to breathe through it.

“Where are you going? Get back in bed”

“You didn’t hear that?” You reach the door and open it, and the hallway is empty…just like your dream. “Let’s stay somewhere else.”

Now you head east, and you drive much longer this time. Seungmin’s gaze falls on you every few minutes for the entire first hour, but he stays silent until you get to the new destination. Wherever you are, surrounded by mountains…it’s nice.

“Where are we now?”

“Hongcheon”

“Dal…”

Seungmin looks at you, and waits patiently as you attempt to read the Hangul on the motel sign.

“Oh, double k…g. Dalkkum?”

“Very good...Dalkkum.” He says it properly, and it sounds pretty coming from his mouth.

“Dal means moon, right?”

“I’m not surprised you remember that, yes. Dalkkum means moon dream.”

“That’s nice. We should stay here for a while, I like it.”

He turns the engine off and sighs, but it’s a good sigh; one of relief, and a little bit of satisfaction. The lack of activity at the apartment may have put his mind at ease, but you both know it's still too early to truly relax. “Yeah, we can stay more than one night if you want”

The pain in your stomach is mostly gone, so maybe you can convince Seungmin to go on a walk around town. It’s cold, but the fresh air might be good for both of you. “Can we get kimbap?”

“Yeah, whatever you want”

“Cheesy kimbap?”

“Yes, I will eat if we get cheese kimbap”

/ / /

The sun is warm, and Seungmin doesn’t mind the walk, but he eventually drags you and the food to a nearby bench. He checks the bag, and you can tell he’s taking in the smell. “Are you comfortable here, or should we head back to the motel?”

“We should eat it now, while it’s fresh”

“And can we talk?”

“Talk?”

He clears his throat, fidgets a little. Seungmin actually seems a little nervous now, but he unbags all of the food and separates it before continuing. “Yes…about what happened, and what you said.”

“Oh, right”

Seungmin jumps in before you can change the subject. “You said I already have. What exactly did you mean…that you were ready to do it, or that you’ve done it before?”

This is what you’ve been ruminating on for weeks—from the moment you came back in his bed, and tried to escape. When he let you go, and when you couldn’t stop thinking about him even though he should have been far behind you, and quickly getting further and further away. Seungmin kept catching you in your own thoughts, and in your dreams. You went looking for him, and it worked—he still wanted you just the same as you wanted him. He’s been wondering why, you assume...wondering why you want to be close to him, but he’s stopped pushing the question. That’s good, because you still don’t have an answer.

“It’s hard to talk about. I’ve never spoken about it to anyone, ever, and I never expected to. I had planned on taking this to my grave.”

“I understand. You’ve kind of answered my question, so if it's too difficult, you don’t have to."

“No, I do. This is something I need to say, and it’s something I need to give to you."

“It must be too heavy to carry around all by yourself”

You nod as Seungmin lifts a bite of food up to your mouth, and you can’t help but smile when he does. It seems like his way of putting you at ease. “Yeah, but also…” you let him feed you, and then he takes his own bite. It’s a relief to see him eating, finally, after three days. “It’s something you deserve to know.”

“Who did you kill?”

The question, asked so bluntly, throws you back in time. You stand in your living room, bare feet on the dirty floor, tv on and blaring in the corner. He’s sitting in front of you where he always does every single night, and you know in a few hours, he’ll do the same sick shit he does every Thursday night while your mother is at work.

“My dad”

“Your dad? You killed your father?” He sets his chopsticks down and stares at the food, and you wonder if this was too personal. Seungmin doesn’t know his victims, and you already know he was very close to his mother. His stepfather, no…but killing a parent is personal. Maybe you’re actually worse than he is. “When?” He’s looking at you again, but he’s looking at you the way he always looks at you when he’s not in a fog, or having a bad day—like he wants to kiss you.

“I was fourteen, so…almost twenty years ago”

“Fourteen? You were so young”

“I had to”

“I don’t doubt that…and we don’t have to get into it, unless talking about it will help”

“It is heavy to carry around, and sometimes the guilt catches up to me. But he was a very bad person.”

Seungmin finds your hand and squeezes it between his. “We are strangely similar, despite being a world away from each other our entire lives.”

“You don’t think I’m terrible for killing my father?”

“Are you forgetting who you’re talking to?

“No…but, it seems different. It's worse than killing a stranger.”

His stare goes straight through you, and you're so exposed again. Whatever is going on behind his eyes is locked up, though. You need to know what he's thinking about. “Let’s go back to the room and finish this. You’re getting cold.”

[nonotnolan]

Swap Broker: Social Climbing

Seeing James in a suit, Clay suddenly felt a bit self-conscious about scheduling a meeting at his modest apartment. The car that James drove was probably worth more than this entire building. Still, that was part of why he was hiring James in the first place. Clay was trapped in the lowest income tiers of society, and upward momentum was unheard of. He didn't regret dropping out of high school to take care of his younger brother when their mother passed-- their father had never been in the picture-- but now that his brother had a full ride to college, it was time to take care of himself for once. If he wanted any sort of life outside of minimum wage retail work, he was going to have to take drastic action.

"Legally, I have read you a few disclaimers before we begin," James said, pulling out some papers from his briefcase. "You are purchasing my services as a swap broker. This does not guarantee that I will be able to match you with another customer, and some customers may request additional payment. My servicing fees must be paid up front and in full. The body real estate market is new, and may be subject to new regulations at any time. You cannot trade more than ten years plus or minus your original date of birth, and any attempts to defraud security regulations will result in legal action, up to and including life in jail. If either client is able to prove misleading or fraudulent claims about their new body within the first 30 days, the swap will be reversed. Customer dissatisfaction is not a valid reason to reverse the swap process, so care should be taken prior to confirming purchase. If you agree to these terms, your payment will be considered a legal signature."

Clay paused, staring at the wad of cash in his hands. "You, uhh… you do take cash, right? I didn't even think about trying to get a money order."

James simply smiled at him. "That will be fine, Mr. Clay. It's not standard, but for you I will make an exception. Truth be told, I'm already making a few exceptions for you, but I've been able to pull strings to have it classified as charity work. Besides, all of your of the mandated background interviews have come back with glowing recommendations, which is why I have no issues taking such a risk on you."

"And I appreciate that, don't get me wrong. All the same, I… I'm just worried that no one will want to take my life in exchange for theirs," Clay said, kicking the carpet with his boots. "But anything will be better than this, and … well, I'm trusting you, James. I'm trusting you to find something for me."

"I actually do have a very promising lead for you, if you're willing to take it," he said, adjusting his necktie. "It's a very unusual situation, which is why most of my clients have not accepted this body. But for you… honestly, this might work. My client is local businessman Richard Hargrove, but the body for trade or sale is the body of his son, Aiden Hargrove. It's… legal, technically, though I'm not convinced Aiden fully understood the paperwork he was signing."

Clay raised an eyebrow. "Let me guess… Richard expects great things from his son, but his son isn't matching those expectations?"

James nodded. "It's a tale as old as time, and it's a lot of emotional baggage to carry over into a new life. If you want to inherit the family money, you'll have to make certain that you keep Richard appeased. There's going to be a lot of family drama, while most people on the market for a new body are looking for a swap with no strings attached."

"No strings, you say," Clay said, absent-mindedly scratching his chest. "How often are people swapping bodies, anyway?"

"Honestly, we're starting to see a lot of designer body circles where people swap bodies every few months like clothes. People are trying to establish winter bodies, vacation bodies, bodies for formal events… it's a bit of a mess out there right now. But most people don't want to be locked into a new body forever, which… is what Mr. Hargrove is looking for. But since it sounds like that is what you're looking for as well... here's a photo of Aiden," he said, passing a headshot over to Clay.

Clay could feel his cock stirring to life in his jeans. Aiden was incredibly attractive. He also looked like an insufferable spoiled rich kid, but… well, that was probably true. "James, this man is gorgeous. There has to be some sort of catch, more than just the family drama angle you described."

"Well… yes. As a part of the swap agreement, Mr. Hargrove is requiring that the person taking his son's body signs a five year habitation agreement. It includes a stipend of $100,000 spread across monthly installments, but it states that you will only be able to contact your prior family through written, voice, or video correspondence. Nor will you be able to contact any of your prior friends ever again. For most people, that's a complete dealbreaker. For you, however…"

Clay couldn't help but laugh. "My younger brother is going to college several states away, so I already have limited contact. And the closest things I have to friends are people who are nice to me at work." He paused, taking off his cap and squeezing its brim as he thought it over. "I really don't have anything to lose," he said. It felt odd to say it aloud, but… he hadn't fully realized just how much he had been putting everyone else's needs over his own until it was pointed out like this. "I always knew it, I mean… it's why I hired you, I just… I never quite thought about it like that. James, I accept. Whatever you need me to sign, let's do this."

James smiled. "Excellent choice! I'll put in an offer this afternoon, and I'll be in touch with the next round of paperwork. It's not official yet, but given that Aiden's body has been on the market for over five weeks, I can't imagine that we're going to get any resistance."

------------------------------------------------------

"Alright, so that was four strokes, which puts me at… +8," said the new Aiden. "Not great, but at least I'm slowly improving. Ready for the next hole, Dad?" The first week or two had had its share of uncomfortable moments, but he was slowly easing into the expectations of his new life. Now, after a few months, life as Aiden Hargrove was becoming second nature.

Richard smiled at him. "I'm proud of you, you know."

"Agh, Dad…" Aiden said, feeling himself starting to blush.

"No, I mean that," he said. "It was hard enough having to disown my first son… I was so worried about who my new son was going to be. But you… you're hard working, you're dedicated, you're sincere… how could anyone not be grateful? I'm… I'm bad at knowing how to show people that I care, Aiden. Too much tough love, they tell me. And if I'm going to start training you to take over the family business, that will only get worse. Which, I will be training you, son, you've picked up on sales like it was second nature. So… when we leave here, and I'm back to being a dick… it's because I expect a lot from you, okay? I'm proud of you even when I'm not showing it." Richard leaned in for a hug, which Aiden returned with an awkward embrace.

"Also, son, I keep meaning to ask-- have you been getting your dick wet?"

Aiden felt his stomach drop out from under him. "Jesus, Dad! That's not… do we have to talk about that?"

"You're almost thirty," Richard said, folding his arms. "It's well past time for you to get married. I'm not going hold sins of the old Aiden against you, but people are already starting rumors. An eligible Hargrove, unmarried? It's unheard of. I don't even care who you marry, as long as they make at least $150,000 per year. Are you gay? I've seen the way your eye wanders in the country club's sauna. The old Aiden was straight as an arrow, but we can smooth that over easy enough."

"I… yes sir, I am a gay man," Aiden admitted, as he desperately prayed for the ground to open up and swallow him in. "I haven't, uhh… I haven't had sex in this body yet. I've been focused more on living as the new Aiden. Adding a relationship to things felt… complicated. Especially since the thought of a queer scandal had me afraid to… pursue things, as it were."

Richard waved a dismissive hand. "Well, start pursuing them. You're a Hargrove now. We don't have scandals, we just have bribe money. Your mother and I are going to be celebrating our 40th wedding anniversary next year, and I expect to you be engaged by then. I need everyone to see that you are a force to be reckoned with."

------------------------------------------------------

Aiden leaned against the bar of the country club, waiting for his date to arrive. It was easy to adjust to the trappings of his new life, but he hoped to never fully lose sight of his roots. The navy suit he was wearing tonight was a designer piece that cost about two months of his old life's salary, and he was about to spend over ten hours of minimum wage labor on a single dinner. The universe had managed to reward all of those years of thankless labor with the opportunity to live Aiden's life, and it wasn't something he ever wanted to take for granted.

Trying to date as a gay man looking for marriage was complicated enough. Trying to date men who fit his new father's limited criteria was proving to be almost impossible. Most of the men who checked off all of the necessary requirements were either straight or insufferable-- but usually both. All the same, Aiden had high hopes for his date with Hunter. Unlike his previous dates, Hunter came into his wealth by creating and then selling his business at the right time. Hopefully that lack of a privileged upbringing would make him a tolerable human being.

Dinner with Hunter proved to be everything that Aiden had hoped for, and more. They were able to hold actual conversation, shifting from topic to topic without his date trying to brag about prior accomplishments or disparaging Aiden's interests as puerile. It was taking all of his restraint not to mount Hunter right there, in the middle of the dining room.

"Would you like to join me on a brief walk?" Aiden asked, once their meals had been finished and billed to his family's tab. "You'll have to forgive me if I am being too forward, but I took the liberty of reserving one of the... private cabana rooms at the edge of the grounds." His eyebrows waggled as he emphasized the word private, and the flush on Hunter's cheeks confirmed that the innuendo had not been lost on his date. Aiden swelled with pride as he observed the outline of Hunter's erection against his blue slacks as the man stood up, the most sincere sort of compliment he could receive. His own manhood was straining against his silk boxer briefs, and he found himself hoping that Hunter was sneaking glances.

"I... do have a confession, before we get too serious," Hunter said, as they strolled across the greens. "This is not my real body. My swap broker arranged for a three month loaner, while my real body is...being acclimated to my new wealth, shall we say. I'm paying someone to lose weight at the gym, whiten my teeth, develop a suitable skin care regimen... that sort of thing. And once I do get my body back, there will a wardrobe and hairstyle adjustment period..." He started to tug nervously at his collar. "Just a temporary side effect of being new money. I hope you don't find that too scandalous."

Aiden gave him a warm smile. "Far from it, I assure you. Your newfound wealth and status is part of your charm. It means you don't have any of the odious habits of my peers." He wrapped a possessive arm around Hunter's waist and pulled him close, a trophy to be displayed. "Besides, that sounds like an incredibly smart usage of a swap brokerage contract. If things get serious, I'll have to tell you about my own family's dealings with swap brokers."

[liahaslosthermind]

𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝑮𝒓𝒐𝒘 𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒓

Rhysand x OC Prequel Chapter to Betrayal (Prequels can be read in any order or as a standalone) Summary: Adelaide and Rhysand don’t like being apart for long, but a High Lord must be dutiful. (Takes place before the Series Timeline) A/N: I know, I know. You all want to see Rhysand get his ass beat, but this is not that.

“My dear Adelaide” her lover’s voice sung out from his office as she walked past, too enthralled in her book to notice he was in there. 

She quickly spun around, running back to his office. The lovers had been separated for only 3 days and despite around 300 years spent together, the days had gone by slowly. 

The two quickly met each other in the middle of the room, kissing feverishly as if they had been apart 50 years. 

As Rhysand pulled back, Adelaide chased his mouth, not yet content with the amount of kisses she had gotten. The High Lord quickly pecked her lips in apology while laughing at her eagerness.

“Slow down, my dear. We have all the time in the world.” He smiled down on her, taking in the beautiful face he had spent so much of his long existence undeniably enthralled and in love with. Deep red hair falling to her waist, not in the usual braids she put them in when she didn’t want to fight the curls she swore ‘had a mind of their own and decided they were at war with her’. The deep red of her hair accentuated by the gold accessories she wore in it, matching the ones that adorned the horns that came out of her head like twisted tree branches.  

The horns confused him at first. He had assumed that she hailed from Autumn because of the red of her hair, but the branches decorating her head hadn’t made sense with that theory, at least not fully. She was certainly not high fae, her ears had some point to them, more than illyrians, but not so far out as the high fae did, as he did. 

Adelaide couldn’t give up much information on her front. She was a foundling, discovered on the border of Day and Night. The High Lord of Night at the time, Rhysand’s father, wanted nothing to do with the babe found, convinced that the red headed child must have been some ploy from Beron. Thankfully, the High Lord of Day took her in. At first, it had been her hair that drew him in, not far from the color his Lady of Autumn had. There was no connection, but Helion loved her all the same. “It doesn’t feel that way, you always have something else to do.” She pouted. It would have been sweet, how much she had missed him, but the way her hands trailed down Rhysand’s chest, stopping at the sound of his grown when she pushed her fingers inside the waistband of his pants, Rhys knew she was anything but sweet right now.. 

“My dear,” Rhysand groaned as she continued to tease him, stepping out of his embrace. Don’t start something you know you can’t finish, he spoke into her mind. 

With no warning, she ran off down the hall, to their bedroom. She knew she couldn’t outrun him, but that made it all the more exciting. 

She had awoken the next day to the smell of her favorite tea being placed next to her bedside. She smiled at her lover, drowning in bliss that came from having him near. 

She then took in his outfit.

He was fully dressed in the clothes he wore when he needed to seem courtly and powerful. He had been called away, again. Sensing her despair, Rhysand leaned down on the bed, his kiss trailing from her lips, to her jaw, to her throat. 

But she pushed him away.

“You can’t seduce me into forgetting that you are leaving me again, Rhysand!”

“I am doing no such thing, just trying to make up for the fact I am leaving again. And I am not leaving you, my dear, I'd never leave you. Shoot me dead, should the day ever arise.” He laughed. She did too. What a preposterous idea, him leaving her. 

“Will you promise to hurry back, of sound mind and body?” 

“Always, my dear Adelaide, always of sound mind and body for you.” 

She hadn’t asked when he would be back, she learned not to over the years because these things never went on the original schedule. 

But she hadn’t thought it would be 50 excruciating years until she saw him again.  

[hwnglx]

which tarot card best represent the members of enhypen? like what they really are and what kind of person they want to be?

this was an interesting request! so, let's see 💌

heeseung

what he is: knight of pentacles

heeseung is extremely cautious. someone who takes slow, but steady and controlled approaches in basically all his endeavours. you will rarely catch him act recklessly. he's persistent, reliable, stable and has a practical mind. he also has this patience of steel, doesn't allow anyone to rile him up easily, but might be perceived as boring or stale at times.

what he wants to be: seven of wands

he wants to stand his ground more, courageously defend himself, his beliefs or opinions, and his people more. he wants to be more outspoken and not always be so obsessed over stability, like he wants to allow himself to lose his shit and temper sometimes and shout at someone if they do him wrong. there's this frustration in him, where he thinks he's always so easily worried over not overstepping any lines, and not doing anything or anyone wrong, he feels like he might appear defenseless and like an easy target because of it.

jay

what he is: king of swords and nine of wands

someone with a rational and logical mind, who can appear cold and detached a lot of the times. he's wise, intellectual, serious and knows how to keep a cool head throughout any of his endevours. he isn't someone who lets people get to him that easily, and can have his guard up sometimes in order to protect himself, which can make him come off kinda stoic and unapproachable sometimes. he can also come off more defensive and hard to crack than he'd like. people might struggle feeling comfortable with him due to this.

what he wants to be: six of pentacles

he wants to be more generous, giving and caring. he wants people to be more aware of his desire to help and support the people around him, and wishes they would feel more comfortable going up to him when they're in need of something. this is also just.. giving in general, i wanna go around and give all my loved ones gifts and shower them with things, so they understand i actually genuinely care about them. it seems like he's worried of his selfless heart not being recognised, and him being misunderstood as someone colder and more selfish than he actually is.

jake

what he is: moon and four of swords

hm, jake is someone who's prone to getting extremely anxious and insecure a lot of the times. he can struggle letting go of certain worries or deep fears, can often get fixated on negativity, feel pessimistic and struggle letting go of this darkness inside of him. he feels overwhelmed, but his mind never really truly gives him a break. he essentially feels trapped inside his head and doesn't know a way out. he can also have a tendency to hide many darker parts of himself, and can have struggles expressing it.. so it just lingers.

what he wants to be: five of pentacles and judgement

he isn't necessarily rejecting the negativity, but moreso wants to grow from it and transform from the pain. he wants the pain to turn him into a wiser, stronger and more self-aware person who understands his life-path, and gets out of his hopeless situation as a more knowledgable and powerful person. he wants the hurt in his life to guide him to a better place, and find awareness of his true inner calling by going through the dirt, but coming out the other side as a wiser man. he wants a fresh start, and feel like he's reborn. there might be this fear inside of him, that he's someone who's destined to struggle.

sunghoon

what he is: ace of cups

sunghoon is someone who connects to others on a profound level, and is in possession of good emotional understanding and sympathy for the people around him. his aura is very pleasant and gentle, people just enjoy being around him because he makes them feel comfortable, supported, listened to and heard. he's great at bonding with people, and just overall radiates this safe and agreeable vibe, which makes it easy for others to feel at ease when they're with him.

what he wants to be: seven of wands

so same card as heeseung; sunghoon wants to speak his mind more. he might think that people view him as too nice all the time, to the point where he won't voice his opinion or defend himself if necessary, just because he isn't the type to get angry or extremely emotional as quickly. i think this might come to him naturally (especially if he's a libra rising) but he doesn't want to constantly match his composure to other people, and sometimes be more selfish i feel like; he's just naturally very balanced and grounded, which can give off the wrong impression to others. i keep hearing “만만해” which means “he's easy” like he supposedly can't stand up for himself or fight when the situation calls for it.

jungwon

what he is: knight of wands and the world

hm, i see this as his two sides clashing; his impulsive side, and his perfectionistic side. he's always striked me as someone who's very picky, sets the people around him and himself up to immensely high standards. however, he can act in a rash manner sometimes, especially when it comes to his relationships, as well as come off stronger and more direct than he wishes to. i heard “도도함” which translates to something like “proud”, but it can be used to refer someone who just has this more elegant and chic demeanour.

i think jungwon might struggle balancing these two sides in him, where he can act or say things on impulse, again i keep sensing him just rubbing other people the wrong way sometimes, and him wanting to be more in control of himself. not only have a sense of inner balance, but also give off more of a deep, wise and mature aura.

what he wants to be: six of cups, five of wands and strength

yeah, this is kinda giving.. “i wish i could go back to the past and refrain myself at times when i ran my mouth.” i think he might've been someone who's fought a lot with others in the past, has gotten himself into plenty of arguments with people he actually cared about, which he seemingly can still beat himself up over today. “why did i let my pride get in the way of me being a decent person?” is what i heard.

i think he can be very prideful and stubborn at times, he does have an ego, which can drive him into this state of coming off offensive. he wants to be someone who's capable of suppressing his frustration more, and wants to be a person others can rely on, rather than feel offended by. he wants to display this pillar of comfort and strength for the people around him, someone you can lean on with an easy mind.

sunoo

what he is: ace of swords

sunoo is very witty, funny, intelligent, mentally quick. he's clever, full of interesting and exciting ideas, and has a mind that's always racing. he's also just a good communicator who's good with his words, eloquent and knows how to express himself in this effective manner, to get the point across sufficiently. he isn't someone who sugarcoats his words for anyone, like best believe sunoo will tell it to you as it is and give no damns, take it or leave it lol. he has a sharp and fast mind, and can often be a little judgemental of people who aren't the brightest. like i can see him thinking “are you dumb?” while judging some slower people lmaooo.

what he wants to be: five of wands

i'm sorry i snickered a little, it's cute..

sunoo wants to be more competitive and prove himself in a more effective manner. he might feel like people don't always take him seriously or perceive him as too weak and sensitive. sunoo wants to argue, he wants to people to come at him, because in the end he knows he can outsmart them anyway. he also just enjoys challenges and playful but healthy competitiveness. he likes the fun that comes from an exciting challenge, and likely feels drawn to people who aren't afraid to poke the bear and provoke him sometimes. i just keep hearing “boring”, i feel like rather than himself, he might feel that he just has too many boring people around him, and wants to feel more challenged, especially mentally. “let's fight bitch!” is what i heard. i'm crying. his energy is probably one of the most unserious one's i've read for recently, it used to be much deeper and a little more intense in the past.

ni-ki

what he is: temperance

ni-ki is just very chill, and balanced. he doesn't let things get to him as quickly, at least from an outsider's perspective, and doesn't allow external forces to bring him out of his balance. he can have this very agreeable and peaceful aura to him, and displays an air of patience and stability. he's composed, doesn't succumb to emotional extremes, and can have a soothing effect on the people around him due to his everlasting calm and serene demeanour.

what he wants to be: seven of swords and queen of cups

hm, i'm personally understanding this more as.. he wants people to recognise there's more beyond the peaceful surface. he is someone pretty emotional, also carries a great deal of compassion and empathy for the people around him, but can get misunderstood as being more of an “airhead” who just doesn't really feel anything as strongly, or doesn't care.

ni-ki can often feel and understand people's emotions as if they were his own and absorb them in a profound manner, but isn't very good at showcasing it. he has more of a tendency to hide the more emotional parts of himself, and might have a lot of problems voicing the way he feels, which might result in him feeling misunderstood. like i can sense him feeling like people might think he can't ever relate or understand their standpoint, although he absolutely does and can a lot of the time. it just isn't on display for them to perceive it.

[scoobydoodean]

i do think it’s kinda funny that casgirls are now complaining about “deangirls saying cas is a bad dad to jack” when like… most of the bad dad criticism for cas (granted, based on what i’ve seen, from you and your/my mutuals) is about how he’s treated other kids in the show like claire 😭😭 for jack specifically, at most, i’ve seen criticisms about cas’s high expectations for jack, but it’s all said in a rather fair, polite way, still qualifying that cas is a good dad in other moments.

but… but then it makes me kinda sad cause their defense is often just here’s cute pictures of cas and jack and btw dean sucks and he only continues thee cycle of bad dads 😞😞

sorry for ranting to you like this, but a casgirl account showed up on my dash and (i did not interact with them but) now i’m feeling kinda like when dean gets insulted for trying to say his own opinions lolol

I don't think anyone was particularly mean about Cas, but you have to remember that deancrit is an accepted staple of destielblr and cascrit isn't. It's been that way for a long time and destielblr has allowed it to be that way. Cas fans are very unused to people talking about Cas even slightly negatively without 50 different qualifiers downplaying whatever he did/didn't do because that has become standard in order to soothe the egos of a handful of touchy cas stans.

I think Cas's intentions are always for good. Sometimes his actions don't work out the way he wants. Sometimes he has blindspots. I don't feel the need to prove I feel that way every single time I write a post. I don't even tag my posts with fandom specific tags. I assume my audience is my followers who already know how I think.

I guess I just think it's funny that saying anything about Dean goes, up to and including that he is the sole problem in every single relationship he has ever had, but the moment someone says Cas isn't actually around that much to parent Jack suddenly everyone acts like we're having this huge fandom-wide discourse deangirls are forcing them into it. Well the people who feel that way can go have that discourse by themselves. I'm not going to treat this like it's a huge deal. Cas did not take as active a role in parenting Jack day to day or being with him day to day as Dean did. If people want to bitch about me saying so for three days while pretending I am somehow inciting them to do that, they're more than welcome to do that over in their little area while I move on to more interesting topics.

[bedlamsbard]

Some concept writing! Deaging isn't usually a trope that does anything for me, but I've been toying with this particular concept for a while now, and wanted to play with it while I was still too discombobulated from moving to work on Home. I do have a pretty good idea of where this would go, but I'm not sure that I'll return to it as a full chaptered fic. also I would have to do a lot of research in order to make Sokovia like. work.

About 4.1K below the break; CACW AU. (Would be SteveNat but they don't actually appear in this sequence.)

*****

By the time Tony got off the stage and checked his constantly buzzing phone, he found he had twelve missed calls from Rhodey, two from Pepper, and one each from the Vision, Sam Wilson, and Clint Barton.  He stopped just past the curtain, waving off the dean when he tried to speak to him, and called Rhodey first.

“Who’s dead?” he demanded.

“What?” Rhodey said.

“Who’s dead?” Tony repeated, feeling his shoulders brace in anticipation of the response; he could think of plenty of reasons for Rhodey or Pepper to call, but the others weren’t very likely to.  Well, Vision, but not Wilson or Barton.

There was a momentary pause on the other end of the phone, then Rhodey said slowly, “No one’s dead.”

“Okay, so who’s been horribly maimed?” Tony demanded, glancing around.  No one was running toward him to tell him that there had been some kind of terrible Avengers emergency, so whatever had happened hadn’t hit the news or social media yet.  In his experience, there was no one more willing than college students to put their noses in where they weren’t wanted, and considering some of the people Tony had met in his life that was saying something.  “I know the Lagos thing was a shitshow, but I thought all of us were fine.”

“You need to get over here now,” Rhodey said.

“Where is ‘here’?” Tony demanded warily.

“I’ll text you the coordinates.”

“I got a thing.”

“Cancel it.”

“You know I’m retired, right?” Tony said, but he was already walking toward the closest emergency exit, ignoring the dean’s startled expression and attempt to stop him.

He had come in the helicopter, not the suit, which he was ostensibly trying to wean himself off of on Pepper’s insistence.  He’d built a suit into the helicopter, though, and it would be the work of a few seconds to get into it and take off; it would get him to the coordinates Rhodey had just sent faster than the helo would.  On the other hand, that would probably get the attention of all the reporters who had been in the audience and who were waiting for the press conference that was supposed to follow the event.  If Rhodey didn’t want the press to know that they were apparently having an Avengers-level emergency, then Tony wasn’t going to be the one to alert them.  At least not yet.  He wasn’t about to leave the helicopter parked here for some curious undergrads to dissect, though.

He let FRIDAY take the helicopter out of MIT’s airspace before he engaged the suit and fell backwards into the freedom of the wind, letting himself take a few lazy loops for the hell of it before turning towards the coordinates Rhodey had sent.

As soon as he got there, it was obvious from the air where the Avengers had been and presumably still were.  The complex had probably once been an old SHIELD facility, which meant in practice it had really been an old Hydra facility; that was presumably what had brought the team out here.  Not only was it in the middle of nowhere, but the area around the site was heavily forested; Tony guessed that none of the scarce population in the vicinity had noticed when the Avengers had flown in.  He could see the Quinjet parked on the remnants of a helipad, near the far end of one of the still-standing buildings.  The two other structures had both collapsed, one sometime ago from the look of the wreckage and the other so recently that it was still smoking.  Wanda Maximoff was sitting cross-legged on the ground outside it, holding a water bottle and looking shaky while the Vision stood beside her.  Steve’s shield was propped up against the Quinjet’s ramp, but the man himself was nowhere in sight.

She jumped as Tony touched down next to them, though the Vision looked as implacable as usual.  There was a long scrape across Wanda’s cheekbone and dust on her leather jacket and in her hair, but otherwise she looked unhurt as she scrambled to her feet.

“Where’s the fire?” Tony asked, putting back his faceplate.

Wanda looked like she was going to cry, and after a moment, Tony corrected himself and asked instead, “Where’s Rhodey?”

“Colonel Rhodes is on his way,” the Vision said, which turned out to be an understatement, since before Tony could respond Rhodey slammed down beside him, making Wanda jump again.

“Finally, someone sensible,” Tony said, turning towards him in relief. “You know I’m retired, right?  Emergency calls are supposed to be Cap’s thing.”

Rhodey had put up his faceplate when he landed, which meant that Tony saw his face go grim as soon as he heard Steve’s name.

Tony felt an odd looping sensation in the pit of his stomach.  He and Steve weren’t friends exactly, not the way that Tony was friends with Rhodey or Bruce, but they were friendly.  They weren’t not friends.  It took him a moment before he could ask, “What’s happened to Cap?”

Rhodey pressed his lips tightly together, then confessed, “We don’t know.”

Tony stared at him. “What do you mean you don’t know?  What about –”  He looked around at the compound again, taking in the overgrown buildings and leaning fences.  There wasn’t another living being in sight.  “What about Romanoff and Wilson?”

“Sam’s fine.  Natasha –”  Rhodey hesitated.  “She’s missing too.  Sam’s looking for them.”

“What?” Tony said, feeling like he had missed some important details somewhere.  “Missing?  How?  What happened?”

“It’s my fault,” Wanda said, clutching the water bottle to herself.  The Vision put a hand on her shoulder and she leaned back into his grip, her eyes sparkling with tears.

Tony turned to stare at her.  “What, like – you snapped your fingers and went abracadabra and sent them to Timbuktu?”

“No, I mean –”  She hesitated. “Maybe?”

“Maybe?”

“Nobody went to Timbuktu,” Rhodey said impatiently, making Tony return his stare to him.

“What happened?”

Rhodey made a helpless gesture, oddly delicate despite the bulk of the War Machine suit.  “Well,” he started, and then stopped before trying again, “Well –”

“Oh, god, they’re dead,” Tony said.

“They’re not dead,” Rhodey said. “That would be easy.”

He glanced up as Sam Wilson’s shadow passed over them, circling once before he backwinged and came in to land alongside them.  “No sign of them,” he reported grimly as his wings folded themselves back into his harness.  There was an empty spot there; Redwing must have still be off somewhere. “But I don’t think we were ever really going to find Nat around here, not with the woods this thick.”  His mouth twisted.  “Not from the air, at least.”

“What, like she went feral and ran off?” Tony demanded, more confused than ever. “And took Rogers with her?”

“Well –” Rhodey said again, then thought about it and admitted, “Well, actually, sort of, yeah.”

*

There was video.

It wasn’t very good video; FRIDAY edited it together from the War Machine’s, Falcon’s, and Vision’s cameras, which meant that it was jumpy and incomplete, overlaid by Rhodey’s and Wilson’s HUDs.  All three of them had been outside the building when whatever had happened inside had happened; the only witnesses had been Wanda, Steve, and Natasha.  Steve and Natasha were gone; Wanda herself didn’t seem to have a clear idea of what had gone down.

“There was a man –” she said, and then stopped, still holding the water bottle against herself like a teddy bear.

“There was a man, okay,” Tony repeated, prompting.  When she didn’t go on, he muttered to Rhodey, “When’s Barton getting here, again?”

“He’s meeting us at the compound,” Rhodey muttered back.  “We’re not going to find anything else here.”

There was something terribly final about that.  Tony looked at him sharply and said, “Nothing?”

“Not at this point,” Wilson said.  There was a grim set to his mouth that Tony didn’t like, though his expression was still a little baffled by the turn of events.  He didn’t know Sam Wilson well, since the other man had been Steve’s friend more than Tony’s and had only joined the team after Tony had left, but Tony knew him well enough for government work.

Tony glanced up, where the Vision was just visible hovering above them, using his scanning capabilities to search for Steve and Natasha.  The general consensus was definitely that they wouldn’t be found if Natasha Romanoff didn’t want them to be found.  Everyone seemed to agree that whatever had been true about Steve Rogers’ woods capabilities in 2016, his ability to get around in them in his current circumstances was probably highly abbreviated.

Tony went to look at the footage again, frowning to himself behind his faceplate, since he had had to lower it to watch the video.  From outside, the building had looked well and truly deserted.  He watched Steve, Natasha, and Wanda go inside, all three of them careful and wary.  For exactly twelve minutes, nothing happened – nothing visible from outside, anyway.  Then scarlet energy exploded outwards from the building, making Rhodey and Wilson bank away; Vision had stayed where he was.

For a few moments the energy hung suspended in a nauseating red cloud, like something out of a horror film, then all of a sudden it was sucked back inside as part of the building collapsed in a pattern that was uncomfortably familiar.  The video veered dizzyingly as all three men swooped in, the radios suddenly crackling with overlapping voices.  At the last minute Wilson pulled back and veered away to fly circles around the building; of the three of them, he was least maneuverable inside, where his wings wouldn’t do much good.

Tony watched the three views on the inside of his helmet, a rather nauseating experience.  Rhodey had to force his way through the rubble of the building, while Vision simply phased through it; Wilson kept looping the outside of the building, asking periodically for status updates.  It was through his HUD that Tony spotted the figures slipping out of the ruins of the building.  As Wilson swooped in for a closer look, he saw that one was a slight red-headed girl in black.  She was half-dragging a boy with her, tall and lanky and awkward with it; he actually tripped over his own feet once.  As Wilson stooped on them, the girl turned, a pistol in her hand, and shot at him.

He got one wing up to block the bullet, though the action dropped him a few feet in the air and gave the two teenagers enough time to make the tree line that had been encroaching on the courtyard.  The girl went unerringly to the thickest place, where Wilson wouldn’t be able to follow with his wings out, still dragging the boy behind her.  He looked back at Wilson, his eyes wide, his face thinner and younger than Tony was accustomed to, just like the girl’s was.

They vanished into the woods as Wilson swept after them and had to stop, dropping to the ground as his wings folded up behind him.  He followed on foot, or tried to.

Inside the ruins of the building, Rhodey and Vision had found Wanda passed out on the floor.  The shield was next to her, covered in a fine coating of dust but otherwise untouched.  There was no sign of Steve or Natasha.

Tony retracted his faceplate and said, “What in the Freaky Friday hell?”

Wilson took his goggles off and rubbed a hand over his face.  “They looked right at me and didn’t know me.  I spent twenty minutes following on foot – trying to, anyway, never found a trace of them.”  His mouth twisted a little.  “If it’s what it looks like, then that’s all Nat; Steve said that the first time he ever left New York was to go to Camp Lehigh when he was twenty-four.”

“It can’t be what it looks like because what it looks like is insane,” Tony said.  “Also impossible.  Where’s Thor when you need him, the guy who actually knows about shit like this?  How long has it been?”

“Four hours.  They could have reached the highway by now, gone anywhere from there if someone picks them up.”  Wilson grimaced.  “The way Nat looks right now, someone would have picked them up.  And she has a gun, so…”

“This is America, everyone has a gun.”  Tony started to rub at his temples and remembered just in time that that would be an extremely painful experience in the suit.  “Okay, just so we’re all on the same page and I know I’m not hallucinating, what…was that?”

Sam and Rhodey exchanged a significant look, Vision’s expression remained inscrutable, and Wanda clutched her water bottle more tightly to herself, her gaze darting to Steve’s shield.

“They’re kids,” Rhodey said.

Tony winced. “Yeah,” he said. “I was really afraid that was what you were going to say.”

*

Clint Barton was waiting for them back at the compound.  “What happened?” he asked as they all filed out of the Quinjet.  The question was obviously directed at someone who wasn’t there; Tony saw him waiting for Natasha and Steve to come out last, and when they didn’t he actually stepped up on the ramp to look inside, where the shield had been stowed in a corner.  His gaze went to it, then he hopped off the ramp and repeated the question, his face going serious.

He didn’t take the answer well.

“They’re what?”

Wilson made a helpless gesture in response, stepping aside to let the Vision tenderly lead Wanda into the compound’s main building.  Tony eyed them as they passed; Wanda still hadn’t offered any explanation of what had happened, though it was clear that she had been at the center of it.  He still wasn’t entirely sure that he agreed with Steve’s decision to bring her onto the team over a year ago.  Against Ultron, maybe, but that should have been a one-off as far as he was concerned.

Clint’s expression was grim.  “Let me see that footage,” he said when Wilson had finished laying out the situation for him as best he could, which wasn’t very.

He watched it silently once they were inside, then looked around at the five of them – Wanda and Vision had reappeared, Wanda out of her field garments and now in comfortable clothes, the Vision looking as imperturbable as ever – and said, “You know the problem, right?”

“They’re kids?” Tony said dryly. “Or – teenagers, I guess.”  Long experience had taught him how to recognize jailbait at a glance.

“No.  Well –”  He tossed his head, looking uncomfortable, and went on, “If this is what it looks like, then they don’t know us, they just know – uh, whatever age they…are.  Were.  Are?”

“Uh-huh,” Tony said warily.

“Nat was with the Red Room up until eight years ago,” Clint said, sounding like he was expecting that to mean anything to them.

“Yeah, but she’s a kid, so –”

“She was raised in the Red Room,” Clint said.

“Yeah, but they’re gone,” Wilson said.  “They have been for years.”

“She doesn’t know that,” Clint pointed out.  “And Steve –”

Wilson winced.  “He was a kid in the twenties and thirties,” he said.  “But – I’ve seen pictures from before Steve got the serum, and that wasn’t – that was Steve, Steve now.  I mean, Steve as a kid, teenager, whatever, but with the serum.  Which means whatever happened to him couldn’t undo that.”

They all looked at Wanda, who had sat down heavily on the couch.

“Wanda?” Clint said.  “What happened in there?”

She fiddled with her rings, not meeting anyone’s eyes, and then said, “I didn’t know he was there when we went in.  I don’t – I have to know someone’s there before I can read them.”

Tony gritted his teeth but didn’t interrupt her; he still didn’t have a good grasp on what Wanda’s powers actually entailed, which grated on him.

“Do you know who he was?” Clint said, sounding very patient.  He sat down on the couch beside her, his fists clenching and unclenching before he stopped them with an obvious effort.

Wanda nodded slowly. “Only from the papers,” she admitted. “I never met him.”

Clint blinked and looked around at the rest of them, his eyebrows raised.  Wilson had perched on the edge of the coffee table, clearly trying to make Wanda feel more comfortable by not looming over her, but Tony and Rhodey were still standing.  Vision had gone over to the kitchen to get her a glass of water; he returned, his passage eerily silent, and pressed it into her hand as he sat down beside her.  Wanda took it, then had to cup her other hand around it too to keep it from shaking as she took a sip.

“Our newspapers?” Sam asked. “Someone one of us knows?”

They’d all made plenty of enemies over the years and not all of them had ended up behind bars; theirs wasn’t a profession that guaranteed friends.  On the other hand, Tony couldn’t think of a single person who could have produced this result – well, not one that was alive, anyway, since according to Thor Loki was dead.  Even if he hadn’t been, this seemed a little too petty for Loki.

Wanda shook her head.  “From home,” she said, then clarified, “From Sokovia.  He –”  She said something in her own language.

“The equivalent would be a baron,” the Vision translated for her.

It was JARVIS’s voice, of course – it was always JARVIS’s voice, and now as always it made Tony flinch a little to hear it.  It had been his call and they’d needed the Vision to beat Ultron, but at seventh and last he still didn’t know if the trade had been worth it.  He hadn’t even thought about it at the time, what the real cost would be.

“A baron?” Rhodey said, his eyebrows climbing. “They still have those?  I thought the Soviets –” He hesitated, clearly uncertain whether or not it was a sensitive subject, but Wanda just shrugged one shoulder.  Tony did the math and realized that she probably wasn’t old enough to remember the fall of the Soviet Union.

His memories of the event weren’t particularly great themselves, since it had been the same year his parents died.  Even without that, though, he hadn’t been all that interested in what was going on in the Eastern Bloc; at the time the closest he had ever come had been when he and Rhodey had crossed over into East Berlin a few years earlier just to see what all the fuss was about.  He didn’t remember having been impressed.

“Families like that don’t forget,” Wanda said, with a faint note of bitterness in her voice. “A lot of them left when the Soviets invaded during the war – the Great Patriotic War – World War Two,” she clarified when they all looked blank.  “After independence, when the ones who left came back, they brought it back with them.”  She put the glass of water down on the coffee table and drew her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, and added dryly, “Some of them wanted to restore the monarchy, too, but nobody would vote for it.”

Tony looked at Rhodey, who shrugged helplessly back at him, then asked, “This guy have a name?”

“Zemo,” Wanda said, like that was supposed to mean something to them.  “Helmut Zemo.”

“Sounds German.”

Wanda shrugged again. “A lot of people in that part of Sokovia have names like that.  Some speak German, too.”

Tony remembered abruptly that he still couldn’t find Sokovia on a map.

“What did he want?” Wilson asked.

She hesitated.

Tony felt himself tense, unwillingly remembering the greasy feeling of Wanda sliding into his mind the previous year.  His fingers twitched a little, wanting the security of his suit back, but he had left it in the Quinjet and it would have to smash through several walls to get here.  Not that walls couldn’t be replaced, but it would be so messy.

Besides, Wanda Maximoff was, technically speaking, on their side.  Even if right now it didn’t feel like it.

“Wanda?” Clint prompted gently. “What did he want?”

She was quiet for a long time, long enough that Tony started twitching. His phone buzzed in his pocket, probably Pepper wondering what was going on, but he didn’t reach for it; he wanted to know what was going on.

“Sokovia,” she said finally, and a single tear slipped down her cheek.  She dashed it away impatiently with the back of one hand.  “His family died at Novi Grad.”

Tony felt a muscle work in his jaw.  “And?” he demanded.

Wanda was quiet again, and then she said, “I don’t remember.”

Tony opened his mouth to call bullshit and then stopped himself with an effort.  Maybe it was bullshit and maybe it wasn’t.  Right now, at this exact moment, it didn’t change anything.  They could get the truth out of her later.

Wilson and Barton joined him and Rhodey in one of the labs later, leaving the Vision to fuss over Wanda.  Tony, not being stupid and definitely not wanting to relive his teenage years, waited until the door had shut behind him before he said, “So she did it, right?  Whatever happened to Steve and Natasha?”

Clint grimaced.  “It sounds like it, yeah.  You guys see any sign of this Zemo guy?” he asked Wilson and Rhodey.

They both shook their heads.  “He must have gotten out while Vision and I were looking for Wanda and Sam was chasing Steve and Natasha,” Rhodey said.  “Ever heard of him before?”

The question was directed at Clint, who shook his head. “Never had anything to do with Sokovia,” he admitted.

“FRIDAY?” Tony said.

“On it, boss.”

“We’ll get something on the guy,” Tony assured the other three men. “If he was in the news, even in a shithole like Sokovia, then we’ll at least know what he looks like.”

Clint shrugged.  He sat down heavily and clasped his hands together, pressing them to his forehead.  “This guy’s not the problem,” he said. “Well, not great, obviously, but not the biggest problem.”

“Steve and Nat,” Wilson said.

Clint looked up. “Nat, mostly,” he said. “Steve’s probably harmless right now; he doesn’t know anyone.  Nat –”

“Come on, she’s a teenager,” Tony said. “I mean, a teenager with a gun, but –”

“She’s still a Black Widow,” Clint said meaningfully.

“You said that already,” Rhodey pointed out. “Look, whatever Nat thinks is going on right now, the Red Room’s gone; she can’t go back even if she wants to.  That’s not a problem we need to –”

“Just because the Red Room’s gone doesn’t mean that no one in Moscow’s going to pick up the phone if she tries to check in,” Clint cut him off.  “We did all the clean-up we could eight years ago, but there were loose ends that even Fury couldn’t get tied off; SHIELD never had all that much pull with Russia, even after the end of the Cold War.  And Nat’s high profile.  Leviathan – whatever Leviathan turned into – whoever’s running it now would probably pull out their own eyeteeth to get her back, especially if she can bring Captain America with her.  Leviathan was the USSR’s answer to the SSR and SHIELD,” he added in response to the blank looks he got.  “As far as I know, Russia kept the name, the same way everyone keeps talking about the KGB even though it’s been the FSB and the SVR for years.  As far as we know, they didn’t go belly-up when the Red Room fell, but that’s a big ‘as far as we know.’  And I never had all that much to do with the Russians anyway; it was mostly before my time.  You’re going to have to call Fury and Hill to find out more.”

Rhodey massaged his forehead.  “You really think Nat’s going to want to go back there?”

Clint’s mouth twisted. “It’s not about wanting.  That’s not how places like this work.”

“And Steve does know someone today,” Wilson put in suddenly.

“What, Peggy Carter?” Tony said, doubtful.  “She’s, what, a hundred years old?  You think he’s going to turn up on her doorstep?”

Wilson shook his head.  “If he’s a kid, then he hasn’t met her yet as far as he knows.  But there’s someone out there now that he did know when he was a kid.”

They all stared at him, and then Clint said, “Jesus.  Steve’s been looking for the Winter Soldier for years and getting nowhere, you don’t really think he’s going to find him now.”

“No,” Wilson said. “But Bucky Barnes might be able to find him.”

[cruyuu]

The proof of sukuita's soul resonance and their oneness. Yuuji is shown without two fingers and cannot salvage them, considering how the person responsible for him losing those fingers (the missing piece) is dead and gone.

Fitting, no?

Let's talk about it.

Yuuji lost both his ring and pinky finger.

The pinky one (representing promises– pinky swear) was torn by Sukuna and used to overtake Megumi, symbolically representing Yuuji's failure to keep his promise- keep Megumi away from Sukuna and, in general, protect Megumi. In the beginning, Yuuji was shown as someone incapable of defending and keeping people alive despite the fact that he very much wished to. You could say Sukuna reminded him of that by taking over the very person that saved his life in the first place by postponing his execution.

The pinky remained in Megumi (because that's how Sukuna got to Megumi) until Yuuji tore it away- tore Sukuna away- and then spoke to him, leading to Blobkuna and Sukuna's passing. Of course, knowing Gege's love for everything sukuita, they fittingly made Sukuna the one to rip that finger away to be in someone else and conveniently not return it by instead choosing to die.

Mind you, the reason why this happened was because Yuuji didn't place a condition in the Binding Vow (the one he doesn't nor will ever even remember making) that he cannot be hurt when Sukuna has control which is, again, an insane thing because it implies he trusts him not to cause harm to himself or truly doesn't care what happens to him after he's "dead to the world" (kinda like Sukuna who doesn't care what happens to his body after his death).

So that's for the pinky. Yuuji also never got the ring finger back.

Now, Sukuna believed that his finger was eaten by Rika, but that wasn't the case. It was revealed to us that the finger Rika ate was Yuuji's, and according to Yuta, anything she eats cannot be salvaged by RCT. It cannot be healed and I'm crazy over the symbolism of Yuuji losing his ring finger because of the general, well-known meaning of the ring finger. He gave up that finger because of Sukuna (giving up his love in order for his downfall) and, conveniently, we're shown a single finger that remains of Sukuna. I also truly do wonder why the location of Sukuna's finger (for some reason) was fitting with the location of the music video for that one song.

Yuuji never got back the ring finger in form of a person who he had also asked (twice) to return. Who he could live with no matter what he had done. Who he would accept no matter what. Who he thinks back on fondly while looking at his lost fingers. He gave up that finger for him and that one finger (one person) remains in the Stevenson shed- right where he found him.

Through symbolism, the implications are insane because love and commitment (the ring finger) remains with Sukuna.

If you want more insanity, well... Remember what I said about the pinky? That it was how (basically) Yuuji lost Sukuna? Well, Sukuna didn't return to Yuuji (no matter if Yuuji wanted him to) and hence Yuuji couldn't truly get that finger back.

The fact is that Yuuji was supposed to be the only vessel (specifically made for him, so much so that he inherits his techniques and cursed energy like come on, you couldn't get more perfect than that, he even has his face!) for Sukuna and one made intently for the purpose of his true return and yet... Sukuna chose another one and reincarnated via that one. Lost because of that very choice.

So it's basically the fact that these two were practically perfectly made for each other (spelled out by the story), but unlike their mirrors (Yuta/Rika, Hana/Angel), they never acknowledged it nor chose to accept one another.

Yuuji only accepts Sukuna when it's over, during 268. Fittingly, Sukuna "accepts" Yuuji in the afterlife and to Mahito's face (which is hilarious because Yuuji hated Mahito's guts and Sukuna *of all curses* telling him off too was just chef's kiss).

If you think about it, if Sukuna ever reincarnates (and it's highly probable because of how the door to the shed is open, quite literally open for return), perhaps he'd stumble upon that finger in the Stevenson shed and that is so awfully romantic to me. Considering the placement of the finger being near Yuuji's high school, you could also say that's Yuuji leaving a clue for Sukuna to find him, should he ever reincarnate in this lifetime while he's still alive. If he doesn't, well, at least it could serve as a reminder (to jog his memory if he doesn't remember).

Yuuji got his permanent reminder of Sukuna- right there on his left hand. Hell, he can't even get married because of him (wedding rings are worn on the left hand in Japan and I'm cackling because oh the implications lmfao).

[mariyekos]

Story concept: Kid Nero, still at the orphanage, gets attacked by a rogue demon and has his arm change. He can't hide it from the caretakers, so they find out and report it to the Order, who essentially kidnap him under the guise of Nero having been "adopted by outsiders." They then take him to the Order headquarters to experiment on him. As part of their experiments, they decide to start hunting down Devil Arms far earlier than in canon, triggering Lady to catch onto them way earlier. Importantly, Fortuna/Agnus has the Yamato fragments already, and detect some resonance between them and Nero but aren't able to get anything out of it.

Lady sends Dante to investigate the string of suspicious Devil Arm purchases in an attempt to get him out of his post-Mallet slump. Since it's her attempt to get Dante to actually do something, Trish doesn't go ahead as Gloria in this universe. Instead Trish goes to Fortuna with Dante but as herself, using Alastor instead of the Devil Sword Sparda in an attempt to be more (but still not very) subtle. During their investigation, Dante randomly Triggers for a split second at one point, and immediately feels something coming from Fortuna castle that he can't ignore. He heads there, discovers Agnus' lab and the Biano Angelo prototypes he's working on, and works to destroy them.

Trish meanwhile ends up talking to a very curious child who talks to Trish about a friend of hers who used to want to be a demon hunter with the Order when he grew up. She hasn't seen him in months though, because a family from out of town adopted him and took him away. She's sad because her family was thinking about adopting him, and had even talked to the orphanage about it once, but apparently the other family was more important or something because her friend was adopted out so fast she never got to say goodbye.

Back to Dante, he finishes mowing through the Angelo's and comes upon the Yamato, broken and floating in a strange contraption he doesn't really want to touch. Still, he's not going to let Vergil's sword remain in the hands of these demon worshipping, clearly human experimentation happy freaks, so he- feels another pulse of familiar energy, and rushes into the next room, where he finds Agnus experimenting on Nero. With Dante's entrance Sanctus had ordered Agnus to speed up their work on the weapon, so Agnus basically went into overdrive trying to get Nero to output the kind of demonic energy needed to power the Savior or the special Devil Arms they'd devised to use Nero's unique power as fuel since it's naturally more compatible with humans nd thus could be good for outfitting their Angels. Dante attacks Agnus after some words, but Agnus escapes before Dante can kill him. He goes to free Nero, but Nero's in full panic mode and when he sees yet another person reaching for him, he has a scene similar in idea to the one in DMC4 where he unlocks (some of) his potential, summons a fixed Yamato, and uses it to lash out at the person "attacking" him...thus stabbing Dante through the chest.

Dante does his best to calm Nero down, but Nero ends up passing out before Dante can really get anything out of him. Trish shows up around then and obviously notices the similarities between Dante and the child in his arms, as well as the Yamato which neither had known were there, but she just asks about next steps. Dante wants to burn the Order to the ground, but he doesn't want to risk the kid getting hurt any more, and they've clearly done something to him that Dante wants to investigate because he's not sure about possible repercussions. Or maybe Trish brings that up. But point is, they need to get Nero put of there, they don't have the time/shouldn't kill off the whole Order without getting more info, and Dante doesn't trust anyone on Fortuna with the kid when almost the whole island seems to be a part of the cult, so the only option left is to take Nero with them. For his own safety.

From there it would be about Dante doing his best to be a parent when he has absolutely no idea how to raise a child, and even less of an idea of how to deal with a clearly extremely traumatized child. Sure, Dante was super traumatized as a kid too, but his trauma was different. Nero's a different person. And maybe his nephew? This is raising so many questions about Vergil when Dante decided he never wanted to think about him again after murdering him a year back and he doesn't know what to do, but there are no good options here. He can't send Nero back to the island. Not if he doesn't want Nero to get captured, tortured, and experimented on again. He can't drop Nero off at another orphanage. Not if he wants Nero to be safe; Dante remembers all the people who died for the sin of being close to him, and while Nero has less demonic blood if Dante's suspicion is right, with him having awakened to some extent he might lure demons in too. Plus there's the arm.

So yeah. He has a kid now. He's a horrible option for a parent but all the options are horrible, so he's going to do the best he can.

Has this been done a million times before? Probably. Is it still fun to think about? Yes. Will I maybe write an actual fic on it one day? If I have the time, it would be fun. We'll see. For now it mostly just ideas!

[pongnosis]

Part two of 'Everybody lives or by God, Hill is going to fucking murder them himself', because Yassen Gregorovich is going to single-handedly cause every single one of Hill's grey hairs.

Zhao falls into step beside him like he never left and maybe Hill deserves the incredulous look.

“Risky,” the man notes, “to argue with Mr Gregorovich.”

A year ago, Hill wouldn’t have done it, either. But then his entire world was wiped out in a second and he can’t bring himself to care what he used to do.

“We’re responsible for his security, not just when it’s convenient to him. If he makes risky decisions, it’s my job to call him out on it. He personally murdered his way through a good part of the old board and he knows the risks of internal threats. If he wants bootlickers, he can get another team.”

A year ago, he might have added a comment about Sagitta but now he doesn’t. Both because he needs to get on better terms with Orion this time around and because whatever else he might think about them, Sagitta has stood up to Gregorovich for their boss before and Hill can respect that. Even with Orion’s explicit protection, it’s a ballsy move.

… And, Hill will admit if only to himself, Sagitta was allowed to stay by Orion’s side in the future that he’s going to do his fucking best to steamroll out of existence. Dr Three approved of their presence around his hand-picked little protégé, and that’s the sort of attention that nobody wants but everyone knows speaks volumes. Sagitta had grown with Orion. They haven’t yet, they’re still the babysitters for the kid that’ll hopefully have years before he’s put in charge of anything bigger than an operation, but the potential is there.

Hill needs that sort of firepower in his corner to stop this whole disaster. Especially because he can’t appear to know anything about it. Gregorovich is a fucking bloodhound; even the ghost of a hint that Hill might’ve acted on more than training and instincts, and that deadly focus could be turned on him instead of the actual rat-fucker that Hill needs to somehow find a way to take down.

Hill hates politics. SCORPIA hired him for his skills for massive destruction and full-scale massacres, not juggling the sort of politics that comes with being in charge of the business.

Zhao makes a non-committal sound. Not quite agreement, not quite disagreement. The sort of commentary he’s perfected after years of working together.

Hill had never reached that stage with Owen. They were still finding their pace together when -

- This happened. Whatever this is. Purgatory, or a second chance, or just a hallucination from a brain that hasn’t realised it’s dead yet.

Deimos was a good team. Solid, skilled, dependable. Didn’t ask questions and followed orders. But they weren’t Danube, and the gaping wound where Danube should have been had been too raw and painful to allow Hill to get close again.

Another thing he has to keep track of. He’s a different person after everything, of course he is, but he can’t be. Not now. Gregorovich and Danube know him better than Deimos and Crux had time to, between stressed operations and damage control and clearing out the infection that had spread through SCORPIA, and that’s the person he has to be again. Somehow.

Hill needs somewhere quiet to settle on a course of action. To figure out what’s happening and how he can use what he knows.

He’s not getting that, either.

First things first, then.

“I want M’Hamid base put through every security protocol you can find. Every single fucking one of them. If you can find any of Kurst’s old ones that we don’t already include, those are good. If Orion has added some unofficial ones, those are even better.”

Another non-committal sound. The fucking sass is so familiar it hurts.

“That will significantly delay Mr Gregorovich’s departure,” Zhao points out mildly.

“Then Mr Gregorovich should consider taking his security measures more seriously.”

And not act like a fucking farm cat in a bathtub whenever Hill mentions the words ‘due caution’ or ‘risk assessment’.

Hill’s mistake had been to accept that. This time around, he’s going to make it everyone’s problem.

Zhao doesn’t argue. Maybe he agrees with that, too.

-----------

They find the IED under the helipad, exactly where Hill knows it would be, and it’s a big one.

There was not much left to examine the first time – for obvious reasons – but staring at the photos now, Hill wonders how he survived at all.

“A hunch?” Gregorovich asks next to him. If he’s in any way disturbed by his brush with death, it doesn’t show.

“Mostly spite, sir,” Hill says before his brain can catch up with him, and Gregorovich honest to fucking God smiles at that.

Maybe it was a test. Maybe he just appreciates pettiness in all its forms, including his head of security being willing to inconvenience all of them to make a point.

It’s not even a lie. It’s not a hunch when he knew it was there.

Now Hill just needs to somehow unravel the rest of the conspiracy without implicating himself in the process.

[caitchercatlady]

He'll Have to Go Through Me

-Octavinelle Version

Azul Ashengrotto

For years, Azul has built walls for take revenge and forget his weak past. He's built a lounge empire for himself and those who need a space to forget their problems for an hour or two. He's the most attracted to those with the melancholic expression of want on their faces. Today, it just happens to be you. You came to the Monstro Lounge alone, staring down at something (Azul couldn't tell what it was at first). Azul sneaks up on you to see what you're up to, and he's shocked to see that the souvenir he gifted you for your birthday broke. You jump out of fear that Azul will be angry, but he actually acts the opposite. He inquires to know how it happened since you're so upset.

You explain that a bully from your freshman class broke it, claiming it was "an accident" He's been known to break a few of yours and Grim's things for the past half a month, but him breaking Azul's gift was the last straw. Azul's blood boils and he's not exactly going to show it. (He has a reputation to uphold, you know.) Instead, he only smiles and gently pets you on the head.

"This calls for a special order. Order anything and everything that will restore your spirit and show the waiters this card. Tell them Azul Ashengrotto is housing your stay at the Lounge. No, no. No need for modesty. I will take care of everything."

You never know what Azul means when he says that he'll take care of "everything," but at this point, you're not in a place to speak or argue. You take the rest of the evening doing what Azul said. The next day, the aura of your classes have changed. Your breaking pick-pocket of a bully uncharacteristically avoids you at all costs, even confusing your friends and other classmates. You know immediately that Azul did something, so after classes are over, you go confront him. Azul plays his usual coy attitude and he repeats his sentiment from last night. You give up on debating with him, but as you walk away, the snickers from the tweels confirm your suspicions.

You return to Ramshackle with a message from the ghosts about Azul delivering a gift. You open it in the living room to see that he kindly replaced your broken gift with a new one.

Jade Leech

Out of the Leech brothers, Jade is the more observant from a distant one. He won't point out that something is wrong, but he will act on injustice as he sees fit.

You are minding your own business, reading in the garden when a bunch of your fellow freshmen think it's a funny idea to play around with your belongings since you are magicless and can't do a thing about it. They find this to be a big mistake as Jade fades into the scene like a shadow and surprises them with the stereotypical "boo."

"If you want to play a proper magical game, I'm more than willing to be a participant. But if you cowards are going to tease a layperson in my presence, I have a better game, and you best believe that I will win it in less than a minute."

It is an unspoken rule at Night Raven that no one messes with any of the Leech twins, so your bullies make the proper decision to return your stuff and make a dash away from the garden. You want to thank Jade for his help, but you're also scared of his subtle anger. He comforts you by collecting your belongings from the patting you on the head. You mustn't be afraid as long as Jade is there to protect you.

Floyd Leech

While Jade can scare a person with one smile, Floyd has his body language to send fear own every bully's spine. He is the embodiment of "Go poke the bear and see what happens," and they will regret it if they do.

You're watching the basketball game, taking photos for the school news. It hits half time, so it's a perfect opportunity to take a concessions break before the next half of the game starts. However, as you're leaving the stadium, you get cornered by a delinquent who thinks he can have this way with you. Before he can do anything, a stray basketball flies straight at the delinquent's head, knocking him to the floor. When he regains his sense of space, he is horrified who he sees above him.

"You have some nerve to put my Shrimpy in a corner like that. Get your own and get lost."

Thankfully, Floyd didn't have to repeat himself as the creeper runs for the hills and from Floyd's crazy eyes. Once the twerp is out of sight, Floyd switches back to his pumped, competitive self. He makes up for your terrifying experience by offering to pay for your snacks and drinks. No one puts a hand on his Shrimp friend, and Floyd will make sure of that.