#he tries to cover it up with his cool guy facade but its really obvious

[mellonieee]

I think it's funny that I've seen both imaginary gary and lezah portrayed as possible anticoswan kids. ANW season 2 but instead of the antifairies actively scheming against the fairies it's just Irep doing the typical thing he does where he goes out and does evil independently but this time the empty nest syndrome becomes so bad that Anti Cosmo and Anti Wanda decide to adopt.

Joking aside though, Imaginary Gary showing up in a new wish could be really neat. And Unlike Lezah, who wasn't a wish to begin with and is more than likely genuinely dead, Gary's still on Unwish Island and hates Timmy. Escape from Unwish Island ended on a somewhat positive note since all the unwished wishes were on the island together and seemed to enjoy it since there were a bunch of Timmy clones they could torment, but its implied that they could escape considering Dark Laser isn't shown to be there in later episodes.

Taking Hocus Poconos into account, some of Timmy's unwished wishes were later moved there instead of Unwished Island. That would leave Gary on unwished Island without any meaningful company besides a bunch of clones of the person that he hates. It'd be a interesting way to bring back Timmy without actually bringing back Timmy. And thinking about the way Hazel and especially Cosmo and Wanda could react to that is so fun.

[leviiattacks]

How about Levi x reader, where they get set up on a blind date by their friends as a prank, but actually end up liking each other

note :: honestly not my best at all but it was cute i guess T___T kinda an opposites attract thing also it’s a modern au !!

for some reason hange and sasha wake up one morning and decide they want to wreak havoc

it’s not peculiar coming from them

after all they are always up to something

like the one time sasha purposefully trapped herself in an elevator with a hot guy

or the time hange tried to make coffee with an energy drink mixed in it??

OR-

okay you’re getting sidetracked

but the point is they have no real reason for this new venture of theirs

when do they ever have a reason though?

somehow today their scheming has led to them begging you to go on a blind date

“he’s not my type i mean he’s old and whatever but you would like him” sasha’s stuffing her face with a buttery croissant

she doesn’t sound very convincing

then again, you have no objections to the idea

you’re single

you’re lonely

if it doesn’t end in love well ??? guess you could fuck

and if you don’t fuck well ?? you got to go outside and get some fresh air

BUT

the idea of blind dating makes you squirm

the uncertainty which comes along with the situation is intimidating

honestly, part of you is worried you’ll end up making a mortal enemy at dinner, not a lover

the other portion is petrified you’ll end up on a date with a murderer

what if it ends up like that one netflix show and you end up getting stalked????

you shudder at that thought

BE OPTIMISTIC Y/N!! YUP YUP OPTIMIST ERA!!!

levi feels the same way but his version of nervous is very different to your own

his fears are very different

what if his date appears prim and proper but it’s really just a huge facade hiding how their house is a pigsty?

imagine the third date in is a movie night in and he walks into a landfill site...

what if his date chews their food obnoxiously loud?

what if they just dislike him?

that’s why ideally he would prefer dating someone he knows beforehand

but there’s no one he knows already that he’s interested in

that’s exactly why when hange calls levi and asks him if he’s willing to go on a blind date on such short notice he scoffs and tells them that maybe if they got a life they would know that his answer is a straight no

he’s used to people not pairing well with him

he guesses it’s because of his sardonic personality, maybe it’s his occupation - he is constantly busy after all. perhaps it’s his foul mouth

erwin told him the last time he had a date that he should probably ease up on the cursing but it’s levi...

he isn’t going to change for anyone.

and really if him being little mean is that much of a deal breaker he won’t bother looking for anyone

he’ll go it solo he supposes

“LEVI. PLEASE. you both would fit together like jigsaw pieces.” hange is practically begging

then they stop for a second and wiggle their eyebrows “that can have many alternative meaningssss~”

levi purses his lips and shoots them a hard glare

“shut it, i’m not going. i’m busy.”

“busy doing.....?”

“cleaning i need t-”

“NO??? do it some other time please they’re smart, fun AND not boring at all.”

hange gives him a pleading look then explains how his mystery date has already agreed for sasha’s sake and he really can’t stand you up

“you want me to go on a blind date with one of SASHA BRAUS’ friends????”

he looks at hange in utter disbelief because that means you just have to be loud mouthed and annoying like jean or connie

or just be as stupidly unfunny

he shakes his head rejecting the idea completely

“i enjoy sophisticated people.”

hange sighs heavily

“give it a chance! c’monnn what if i bribe you?”

little does levi know hange and sasha have purposefully picked you out because of the way you’re both polar opposites

where levi loves order you’re disorderly, where he follows his own rules you don’t follow any at all, where he is disagreeable you’re agreeable in every way of the word

where he is cold, you are warm, he’s a night owl, you’re an early bird, you’re day and he’s night

everything about the two of you is different

that isn’t necessarily bad, but sasha and hange find it hilarious enough to set you both up on this date

if it fails it’ll still be funny

you’re rummaging through your closet looking for your favourite perfume because to be frank you are NOT showing up unprepared

like?? what if he moves in to hug you and he smells the scent of the chicken you were cooking today

yeah you did have a shower but sometimes you wonder if the smell lingers

you KNOW it doesn’t but it’s a matter of principle

imagine he leans in and smells marinated chicken

you think you’d die on the spot if that were to ever happen

shoving a pack of mints in your purse along with your emergency pepper spray you give your outfit a once over

it’s nothing too extravagant but it’ll do the job

at this point, everything is great! you’re walking out of your door and you’re pumped up

you’ll be early for once and there’s a spring in your step

making a good first impressions is key here

you’re so close to your uber BUT

then you hear it

it’s almost inaudible but you’re sure you hear a mewl come out of the alleyway to your right

you’re about to ignore it because you aren’t even sure if you’ve heard it correctly

and it’s late you don’t feel like wandering into an empty alleyway

but the sound only repeats itself

fuck.

cautiously venturing inside you see it.

eyes softening you look at the stray kitten in front of you and bite your bottom lip and scoop him up in your arms you’re debating if running back to your apartment and leaving him there is the best option

what’s the other option?

well you could bring the cat along with you...

it would be a funny story for the future if the date goes well

now. unlike you levi is nowhere near late

in fact he’s ten minutes early waiting promptly outside of the restaurant in his white button up

he fiddles with his collar and wonders how the actual hell he got talked into doing this

hange offering to buy him cleaning supplies free of charge is probably it

8:15pm, you were meant to be here five minutes ago

if you’ve stood him up he’s going to end hange for wasting his precious free time

especially when he rarely interrupts his schedule for anyone.

a few moments of silence pass and he thinks

how do you look? 

not like it matters to him

but he’d just like to know

okay, so.

it’s 8:30pm now

levi is royally pissed off that you even have the audacity to show up

you’re holding your knees as you puff in and out

“I’M SORRY. i know i’ve wasted all your time but i saw a stray on my way here and i couldn’t leave him”

the updo your hair is in is disheveled and fly aways stick out

you’ve ran here after your uber broke down that much is obvious.

to be fair, your explanation is believable and he would have let it slide if and only if

you had NOT brought the fucking cat along with you???

he’s eyeing it with disgust as it purrs up against you and you coo at it stroking its fur

“you want to sneak a cat into the restaurant?” he asks in pure disbelief

sheepishly grinning and scratching the back of your neck your response is “well i know we can’t but if you tried to i wouldn’t mind because i really like this cat :-(”

when hange said he’d have fun they were lying

but at least they didn’t lie about you not being boring.

he picks the cat up with one of his hands

looks it in the eyes

sighs then places him carefully into your purse

“don’t let him be seen.”

you light up and try to hide the grin forming on your face

he isn’t that bad

he’s a little too serious for your liking but you can handle that.

the two of you walk into the restaurant and fuck you because the cat has to start mewling and screeching

coughing rather aggressively to cover it up it miraculously goes unheard

he shoots you a sturdy glare because he’s able to hear the muffled sounds

luckily, no one else is standing near you or is within earshot.

gulping you realise this is not a good first impression at all

late to the date, bringing a cat with you, begging him to help you sneak the cat in

you feel guilty, he probably expected way better

“oi, move your ass” he snaps

you look up realising you’ve been too lost in thought to see levi walking in front of you

“sorry” you mumble

he doesn’t respond but he does look back at you

you can’t gather anything from his face because it’s either plain or he’s got his brows furrowed

currently it’s showing no signs of distaste so he must be accepting your apology

he’s kind enough, steps out of the way to offer you the space to sit down first

he sits after you and you have no idea where to look

then the cat cries again from your purse

“lucifer, shhhhh”

you’re patting him and try to silence him

“you’ve named it already?”

laughing to yourself you’re happy he’s initiated the conversation first

“he’s a little sneaky so i called him it. do you have any other names you’d like?”

“why would my input in this matter be relevant?”

“you’re basically his family now!”

he’s covering his mouth with his hands and you swear you can see the pink tinge of a blush creep upwards and flood his cheeks

but this man doesn’t seem like the type to blush over anything.

composing himself he sticks a hand out and finally asks “what’s your name?”

coming back to your senses you realize it’s been twenty minutes since you’ve met and you haven’t even had the manners to ask his name even after arriving late

“Y/N!! what’s yours?”

play it cool!!!

he doesn’t respond instead stares at your purse and points with his index finger

lucifer has escaped again and now you really are regretting bringing him along with you

whilst you’re grabbing the cat and hushing him your date hums “try to guess it.”

well, that’s spontaneous, he doesn’t seem like the type to entertain himself with games

you think hard, he’s serious but he is kind, you guess that’s why he reminds you of sebastian from the little mermaid

get it? because he’s sweet but he’s a crab so he’s crabby??

god that joke is AWFUL because it doesn't even take into account the actual character of sebastian the crab

but you have no other guesses available.

“hmm... sebastian?” you jokingly ask

“it’s levi.” he deadpans.

oh wow you couldn’t be more far off

playing around with your fingers in your lap you fidget nervously looking around for a waiter to interrupt the conversation

levi has to sense your unease because his tone loosens up

“...do i really look like a sebastian though?”

looking back up at him your bite your lip keeping a giggle in

you can sense the ghost of a smile on his face

“yeah like the crab from a little mermaid”

at that he scowls but he inquires what exactly that means

the rest of the date goes without a hitch, sure there’s a few moments where lucifer attempts to sneak away but levi has no problems stopping him

it takes a while but the conversation flows easily after the awkward barrier from before is broken down

it’s lighthearted and calm.

he’s humorous in a way you can’t describe

levi’s mannerisms are cute, everything about him is endearing despite the serious front he has

and you can’t quite put your finger on it but his demeanor is charming

overall you find yourself enjoying the date even more than you expected

now the two of you are walking away from the booth and the fresh night time air hits your face as you step outside

turning to him you smile radiantly and without allowing him to get a word in you take your opportunity by the reins

“second date?”

you don’t normally make the first move but you’re eager

and to your surprise he’s just as eager as you are.

it doesn’t even look like he stops to think before he nods and agrees to meet with you again.

exchanging numbers with him you wave as you and lucifer part ways with levi feeling satisfied

and to his shock after you leave it settles, levi thinks he just might enjoy your presence

well, that’s a first for him.

he guesses what they say about opposites attracting is true

[hecrtfelt]

date: july 5, 2021

time: 10:27 a.m.

subject: company-wide interrogation

griffin olson knew there was an interrogation taking place in the morning -- his coworkers said. and yet the night before, he’d still accepted the invitation to go partying with a few of the other younger lobbyist in the region; he’d never been famous for turning down a gathering. but this time he had attempted to be good, to smile his charming little grin and shake his head, hold out his palms at the proffered svedka bottles and powdery white lines. nah, he’d say, the perfect picture of self-control and restraint, i can’t go too crazy tonight. i have police shit in the morning. i’m being interrogated, isn’t that wild ? and his buddies would lean back in awe, flashing lights illuminating their shocked faces, and all the bottles and drugs would disappear, and the next hour would be spent with them praising his self control and restraint. he might even get the key to the city because of it.

and then that quite literally never happened, because griffin got exactly one syllable out before hennessy was being poured down his throat. its now monday and he’s barely recovering from his hangover, his nose wouldn’t stop bleeding from you-know-what, and he was currently being escorted to a makeshift interrogation room on the i.t. floor. 

“ has gum gotten mintier these days ? ”  he’d joked with the officers as they guided him into the room. griffin was really counting on this boyish charm that got him chosen as prom king two years in a row to help him distract from the fact that he was not sober in the slightest, and he was now sitting across from two officers in a room with nothing more than a table, some chairs, and a lamp, and he was not sober for any of it.

“ okay, son, you seem alright enough, ” one of the officers grunted, clicking a pen to life and reaching for a notepad. “ and i highly doubt you’re actually involved in this, so this should be quick and we can get you back to work, alright ? ”

“ sounds good. ” 

his knees were shaking under the table from the drug rush he’d had yet to come down off of, but griffin felt fine. he was meant to be eloquent for a living, he got paid to talk; this would be literally nothing so long as he just was himself.

“ what do you know about alice adams ? ”

“ that she works here. i don’t know what her job is, though. ”

“ and what have you heard about her regarding a luke johnson ? ”

he wasn’t so breezily confident on how to answer this one. “ something about his death. i didn’t really get any details. ”

“ and how’d you hear this ? ”

“ from our company chat. ”

“ but like... who told you all ? ”

“ oh, i don’t know. ”

the officer paused his writing, narrowing his eyes. griffin felt his nose running, so he sniffed. “ what do you mean, you don’t know ? ”

“ i genuinely don’t know who finds out this information. ”

the officer sat back and poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek. “ so you can’t tell us a source ? ”

“ no. ”

“ you can’t give us an idea of who would know this information ? ”

“ no. ”

“ you can’t give us anything to verify that the information your work chat received is true ? ”

“ nah. --sorry, no. ”

“ you can’t tell us anything about the luke situation other than the little you’d heard ? ”

“ yeah. sorry. i just work here. ”

the officers looked at each other for a moment, whispered some things covered by their unrealistically thick mustaches, and then, after a moment, collectively sighed before turning to face griffin again. he looked up from where he’d been absentmindedly folding a paper airplane out of a scrap paper sheet.

“ alright, son. you’re free to go. we’ve gotten all we can out of you. thanks for the cooperation. ”

“ oh, for real ? that’s it ? ” griffin had been kind of waiting for the moment where one of them slammed their fist down and yelled you can’t handle the truth ! ...he also wasn’t of sound mind at all in the moment, so expectations about reality should really be on the fucking floor for him right now.

“ yeah, you’re free to go. have a good one. ”

griffin blinked exactly twice before nodding and getting up, pushing the chair against the table and turning to leave. he’d really just gotten interrogated while hungover and still reeling and nothing happened, huh. and they say white privilege isn’t real !

“ ...wait. turn back around, kid. ”

oh, fuck. griffin paused, squeezing his eyes shut because fucking damnit, maybe he should’ve sprinted out of the room. he plastered a nonchalant, cool and casual facade over his face as he looked at the officers.

what was only maybe thirty seconds of eye contact felt precisely like three hours of it. was it hot in here or was it just the looming charges of use of an illegal drug breathing down his neck ? 

one of the officers who’d been eyeing him like a hawk clicked his tongue. griffin tried smiling. 

“ you look familiar. that’s all. ”

he hoped the sigh of relief that left him wasn’t obvious. “ i was on jeopardy once. have a good day, guys. ”

[disembodiedapparition]

Limerence

Frank groaned in frustration; he needed a cigarette, like right now, but after a quick glance around the pigsty which he affectionately called his room, Frank reckoned he wouldn't be getting one anytime soon. Not that he was addicted or anything — of course not.

He just... wanted one, yeah.

I mean, Frank could totally quit anytime he wanted, it's just that he didn't want to, not yet at least. He was painfully aware of the consequences of his, um, habit, but he didn't really care. If he lived, he lived. If he died, he died. He'd probably kill himself before the drug betrayed his lungs like that anyway, if we're being honest. The ephemeral bliss was worth it.

Finding anything in his room lately had become nothing less than searching for a needle in a haystack, maybe even harder, Frank thought as he agitatedly glared at the offending piles of dirty laundry and cigarette butts (among others) that littered his bedroom floor.

Despite the mess, Frank set out on mission impossible, desperate for his daily fix of nicotine, his head throbbing as the craving intensified. Goddamn it, why were minors banned from buying their own cigarettes? Frank was finding it increasingly difficult to cope with the limited supply of one pack a week that his friend Bob provided him with in return for Bob's completed English homework sheets - especially considering the fact that Frank pretty much lost everything that wasn't physically attached to him on a keyring, or something.

He huffed, glaring at the vermillion and black artwork he'd pinned up on his wall — not by him, of course. He could barely surpass a 5-year-old's art skills — but by his extremely talented boyfriend, Gerard Way; a college dropout/artist/Frank's number one smoking buddy. Frank's mom didn't really approve of Gee's "negative influence" over her only son, but hey, Frank was almost 18 and technically he could do whatever he wanted.

Right? Frank wasn't stupid, he knew what he was doing.

Speaking of the devil; a distinct thud resonated through his room, a sound he'd come to associate with Gerard - seriously, the kid was incapable of using a doorbell or something, he was always flinging rocks at Frank's poor bedroom window. But then again, Gerard usually showed up at Frank's around two in the morning, and he was sure his mother wouldn't be all that pleased when she blearily opened their honeywood front door to find some punk kid smoking a cigarette waiting for her at that ungodly hour.

Another thud echoed through his room, causing Frank to roll his eyes, and mutter an incomprehensible 'I'm coming!' under his breath. He cracked the rusty window open a notch, to see his favorite 22-year-old, clad in black from head to toe (Frank wasn't even surprised anymore) and his messy black head of hair sprawled across his forehead like he'd just ran a marathon through the jungle or some shit.

"Gerard?" he called, though he could clearly see his face thanks to the dim streetlights stationed at regular points on the street. I mean, what else was he supposed to say?

"Yeah, Frank, it's me. Let me in, it's fucking cold out here," Gerard replied, theatrically shivering as if he'd been standing in the middle of the Antarctic, when in reality Frank was certain the temperature was just around basic autumn weather, but whatever.

"It's two in the fucking morning," he said, but opened his window anyway. Gerard climbed the conveniently placed apple tree in the Ieros' backyard, and rolled his grimy body into Frank's room. He smelled of coffee and... well, freshness, if that made sense, at least in comparison to Frank's stuffy bedroom air (the windows were shut because, though it was fall, it still was pretty chilly). Petrichor was the word, if Frank remembered correctly - Gerard had told him once that it meant the scent of the earth just after it rained, that was the same thing, wasn't it?

Gerard dusted himself off, and tiny flakes of fallen autumn leaves crackled off his lint covered sweatshirt and onto the carpet — great, that would be hell to clean up later - but Frank didn't mind much, because at least Gerard was here, right? The newcomer grinned at Frank, as a breath of smoke from a cigarette that Frank hadn't even noticed puffed out from Gerard's pink lips. Which didn't really help with Frank's attempts to survive without one, considering the fact that his inhalation of the substance subsided his migraine significantly, as if his body were physically encouraging him to just fucking smoke already.

"Gee, please tell me you'll let me have a smoke, I haven't had one all day and I'm just — ugh."

Gerard giggled at Frank's flustered request, and pulled out a pack of Marlboro Red and an edgy looking Nirvana lighter before handing it to Frank, who just breathed out in relief.

"Thank you, I love you, fuck," he exclaimed, desperately igniting one of the poison sticks and bringing it to his lips, and sighing as he let the caliginous vapor flow from his mouth.

"You look beatific," Gerard mellifluously laughed, and Frank laughed too, though he didn't know what the fuck Gerard meant by that — perks of dating a guy who majored in English for 3 years, I guess.

He gazed into Gerard's pelagic eyes, appearing lagoon green in the dim light; another thing he loved about Gerard was how his irises seemed to magically change colors depending on the amount of light flashing into them. I mean, totally rad! Added to the whole vampire-esque vibe Gerard gave off, what with his incredibly pale skin tone and blood-red lips, and even changing eye colors - Frank was dating a superhuman, I swear.

Frank's eyes were just a plain dull brown, unfortunately. He honestly didn't know what Gerard saw in him. Not that he was complaining, it's just that Gerard could literally get any homosexual guy in the tiny town of Edison to go out with him, and why he chose Frank of all people puzzled him. He really was nothing special, anyway.

Gerard smiled at the seventeen-year-old, his tiny teeth visible as he made the facial gesture.

"So, Frankie, what do you want to do today?" he energetically asked, making Frank snort - Gerard was literally an owl, personified, because like, it was two in the morning! And he was acting like it was the start of a brand new sunny day, and that they were a couple of adventurers ready to explore the wilderness or something (or maybe the nicotine was just getting to him, yeah, that was probably it).

"I don't know, I'm just hungry," Frank admitted, and Gerard's face lit up.

"The boardwalk! Frank, tonight's even the firework display — it'll be great," Gerard exclaimed, ebullience literally radiating from him, and the idea filled Frank with delirium; he'd never really been to the boardwalk of New Jersey before, his mom had told him it was dangerous and therefore out of bounds. The thought of going anyway was exhilarating, to be honest, so he nodded vigorously, thrilled to be going out on an actual date with his boyfriend.

Gerard cracked his boyfriend's abused window open, cringing as it slowly creaked into the atmosphere, before quietly sneaking out the same way he'd gotten in, so stealthily that Frank was certain that any passerbys would've mistaken him for some kind of petty burglar trying to steal from some teenage kid who lived in the attic of his house.

Frank tried his best to mimic his furtiveness, not that it was plausible that anyone would try to stop them as such, but just because it felt fucking cool. Yeah, they were that extra.

The raven-haired boy shuffled to his black Cadillac (which was all patched up, nearly falling apart to tell the truth) and strung his seatbelt across his chest as it chafed with the fabric of his black Iron Maiden t-shirt. Frank got in next to him, and holy shit, he loved every scent relating to Gerard ever, and his car was no exception - especially considering it radiated a smell you'd associate with buttered toast, or pancakes, and it was the safest smell honestly. Frank felt at home with him, and so happy, nothing even compared to the enthrallment he felt with his boyfriend. Which was kind of pathetic, I suppose, if you consider those self-help speakers who always tell you to 'never let your happiness be dependent on others!', but who cared?

Ah, the art of self-destruction.

He could literally see the exhausted car quivering as Gerard tried to null it into starting up, which may or may not have involved kicking and a few depreciating syllables, but the secondhand vehicle eventually succumbed to Gerard's harassment and the roar of a badly maintained engine resonated through the air, accompanied by a 'fucking finally!' from its driver.

———————————————————————

Frank immediately knew they had arrived at the carnivalesque seashore area, though his eyes were shut tight from the harsh blows of the cold wind; the redolent aromas of popcorn stands, caramel apples, and pizza engulfed his senses, and the chatter of the hundred or so individuals who'd been reckless enough to show up at this hour met his ears. A soft rhapsody floated through the air in uneven waves through a pair of worn speakers, David Bowie, Frank figured. He'd been around Gerard Way for far too long to be unable to recognize one of the singer's songs even from a mile away.

"We're here!" Gerard stated the obvious, smiling like a child. Frank could definitely see how much Gee loved the boardwalk; he'd even dropped his "cool dude" facade and replaced it with the air of a little kid in a toy store, and Frank would definitely be lying if he said it wasn't like, the most adorable thing ever.

They got out of the ancient ebony car, Gerard not even bothering to lock it; if anyone tried to steal it, they'd cause such a ruckus and take so much time to even get the engine running that they'd barely get out of the parking spot before Gerard would show up, yelling obscenities. Penumbras shadowed Gee's features almost surreptitiously, thanks to the shifty luminance of the electric lamps diffusing into the night sky.

They wandered around the various food stalls, stopping at a liquor store, selling interestingly named margaritas and shots, obviously intriguing Gerard.

"Oh my god, Frank, look, they have a kiwi margarita!" the older boy commented, pointing at a neon green brew of alcohol with effervescence bubbling out of it in a teenager's hand. Frank scrunched his nose.

"That looks radioactive," he remarked, widening his eyes, and the latter just rolled his eyes.

"You are so uncultured," he declared, sticking his nose up slightly in the air. "I'll let you know that that beverage is actually forty dollars, definitely a top-notch drink."

"And unaffordable," Frank retorted, empowered with the knowledge that Gee would probably have enough cash to down like, two shots of that, at the very most, and then he'd meet with a very uncomfortable financial situation. He giggled as his boyfriend flipped him off in response.

An iridescent glowing sign flashed the words 'Pencey's Ice Cream' in big, bold, capital letters, immediately attracting the attention of the younger of the duo. Gerard followed the platinum streaked boy's gaze to the sign, rolling his eyes.

"Ice cream?" he sarcastically proposed, and Frank retaliated by punching him in the arm; not that it hurt, Frank was too tiny to cause much damage to the older boy, but just for the sake of it.

Together they strolled into the parlor, which totally gave off a 90's vibe, which Gerard seemed to like — judging by the way he glanced around in fascination at the vermillion and pearl striped borders, and the mint green and cotton candy pink machinery propped against the walls.

A smiling teen greeted them as the door chime jingled, and Frank noted that her name was Jenna, from her rather smudged name tag.

"Hi, what would you guys like today?" she greeted, as the dark-haired boy smiled at Frank.

"What would you like, princess?" Gerard pressed, evoking a fierce blush.

"Uhmmm, coffee walnut," he stated. "No, cookie dough! And um, chocolate sprinkles, and, uhhh... caramel syrup," he concluded, Gerard trying to contain his laughter.

"You're gonna get fat!" he groaned, however Frank just shrugged and watched eagerly as Jenna compiled his rather complicated ice cream order.

"Fat and happy." he retaliated, sticking his tongue out, while Gerard amusedly snorted at his kindergartener-like behavior. Jenna smiled at them, and let them know that they were undoubtedly the cutest couple she'd ever seen, which definitely did not make Frank blush. No way.

Gerard ordered some kind of fancy-sounding cherry jubilee thing, since Gerard was the most extra guy he'd ever met — classy or go home, right? That was probably Gerard's motto in life, considering the theatrics Frank had to put up with every day. Not that he really minded, though.

They held their ineffably good desserts in hand as they made their way to the wooden planks that loosely hung over the ocean water, sitting down. Their dangling legs were centimeters away from getting drenched in the cold icy seawater, and their faces were constantly being sprayed with splashes of salty, burning droplets of the ocean — yet Frank was okay with it. Honestly, Frank was up for anything as long as he had Gerard next to him; they could fucking skydive into the depths of hell, for all he cared. Or maybe that was too dramatic, he thought, before realizing that if it had been humanly possible Gerard would've done it ages ago.

The fiery pits of hell seemed edgy enough for Gerard's taste.

Gerard turned to Frank, a hesitant smile on his face. His lips opened to say something, before he was interrupted by a heart-stopping explosion that filled the air, startling Frank and causing him to jerk his head up in the direction the explosion seemed to come from.

Sparks of envious greens and deep blues flew through the charcoal sky, leaving smoky gray trails as they cascaded into the ocean. Glowing splinters of reds, oranges, purples and yellows followed next, patterning themselves into symmetrical patterns of light. Their iridescent colors illuminated Gerard's face, Frank noticed as he watched a firework explode in the reflection in his boyfriend's fascinated orbs.

Gerard must have been able to feel Frank's gaze, because moments later, he turned to the tattooed boy, his lips giving way to a smile, painted rather endearingly in the pulsating lights.

"They aren't nearly as resplendent as you are," he whispered, and Frank rolled his eyes, internally of course. Gerard loved using words Frank had never heard before in his life, but for now he decided to assume it meant something nice and ignore it.

He connected his cold lips with Gee's warm, welcoming ones, his heartbeat quickening when the latter's arm wrapped around his small waist, pulling him closer. He still tasted like nicotine and alcohol of some kind, he could feel the bitter taste engulfing his mouth, but it evaporated — everything evaporated — when Gee broke contact and whispered breathily in Frank's left ear.

"I'm in love with you."

[forever-rogue]

Bad Guy

A/N: Hey y’all! Here’s some bs that nobody asked or called for. But here it is anyway. Enjoy! Also....please let me know if you’d possibly be interested in a part 2...??

Pairing: Joe Mazzello x Reader

Word Count: 5k

Warning: light smut, light language

PART 2

»»————-　♔　————-««

"Take a picture," Y/N smirked at Joe, taking a moment to ruffle his auburn hair as she walked past him to get another drink at the crowded bar. It was round four? Five? She'd stopped counting a while ago, but also wasn't bothered in the slightest. It was Saturday, and after a hectic, long week of work she had decided that she deserved to cut lose.

That's how she ended up at the loud, overly packed bar that was almost vibrating with the thump of the music. She'd come with a couple of friends, who brought a couple of friends, which is how she found herself under the intense scrutiny of one Joseph Francis Mazzello III. She knew he hadn't been able to keep his soft hazel eyes off of her body all night, watching them slowly get darker and darker as time ticked by.

She would have been lying if she said it hadn't been flattering. He'd caught her own eye as soon as he had arrived with her friend Ben. A friend of friend was her friend too, and friends will be friends, right? She was glad she had made an extra effort to look good that evening; the tight, low cut red sequined dress was coming in handy for once. She had purchased it on a whim, wanting something they made her feel good in her own skin, and was eager to break it out. She wasn't interested in just hook up, a tragic one night stand that would end up with her stumbling out of a stranger's apartment the next morning, but some well deserved attention wouldn't hurt. And that's exactly what Joe was giving her, fueling her fire and the slight tingling between her legs.

But he came in looking just as good as the best looking men she had encountered. The dark, well fitted jeans, the shoes that displayed large feet, the tight button with the leather? Purely unfair and she wanted nothing more than to rip it all right off of him, ravage him, and leave him begging for more. He played a typical game, acting as if he was so tough and cool, but she could see right under his facade. Underneath it, she could spy the man he was, the kind that loved being taken down by a woman but would never admit it to another soul.

"Can I help you?" she pretended to be annoyed as she felt him standing behind her, almost too close for comfort, and yet not close enough. She turned around, fresh drink in and a hearty buzz ruining through her veins. She felt warm and sticky from hours of dancing, but being in such close proximity to him had her feeling bothered in all sort of ways.

"That depends," there was a little bit of a mischievous smirk on his face and he seemed to have gained a sense of bravado and swagger. The shot she saw him consuming before making her way to the bar must have finally hit him.

"And just what is it dependent on?" she raised an eyebrow at him before taking the class in her hand, filled with a vodka soda, and downing it in one long drag. She wasn't drunk yet, slowly and steadily getting there, and found it becoming easier and easier to throw drink by drink back. Joe's confident look flattered for a moment as he wasn't sure if he should be concerned or impressed.

"What's your MO?" he asked curiously, running a large hand along his stubble, trying to decipher her. She threw back her head in laughter; she knew her reputation, the effect she had on men.

"Haven't you heard?" she asked, coming down from her fit of giggles. He shrugged innocently and she pressed her empty glass into his hand, "I'm the bad guy. Duh."

She sauntered away, making sure not to let him let him get another word in edgewise. Swaying her hips back and worth purposely, she turned around and gave him a wink before disappearing into the large crowd on the dance floor. She made sure she was concealed, just enough to were he could catch glances, but not enough to satisfy him. He was wanted to see much, much more of her already.

"Oh mate," Ben snickered as he made his way back over to Joe, handing him a cool, sweating bottle of beer. Joe sighed as he gratefully took the bottle and clinked it against Ben's. They both took long drinks before Joe let out a long sigh, "you've already got it bad for her, huh?"

"I wouldn't say that," he countered weakly, not even putting up a large fight. Yeah, he had it already, hook, line, and sinker, "but she's...interesting to say the least."

"Interesting?" Ben almost spit out his sip of beer, coming close coating Joe in little droplets of the golden liquid. Joe gave him a look of surprise, but Ben swallowed it quickly, "that's not the word I'd use. Y/N L/N is interesting, but there’s much, much more to her than that. That and the fact that you're starting after her, clearly fighting a boner, would suggest that you think otherwise."

"Ben!" he hissed, shifting slightly so he could vainly attempt to cover the hard on that was indeed already prevalent. He had hoped it wouldn't be that obvious.

"No shame," he rolled his eyes, following Joe's eye line, where he was trying to pick her out among the crowd of people, "I love her, really, she's an excellent friend. But otherwise, I'd stay away from her. She's a maneater by every definition."

"Oh?" Joe's curiosity was peaked and he couldn't help the fact that he wanted to know more about her. He'd met her a few times here and there due to the fact that they had a plethora of mutual friends, but those had all been casual outings during the week. This was a whole different experience, this was like getting to see an animal in its natural habitat.

"She can get any man she wants, no matter how much of a tough guy they are, but enough to make your mum sad, make any girlfriend mad," he explained and Joe's eyebrow raised higher and higher until it almost disappeared into his hair, "like I said, love her, wouldn't touch her."

"That sounds like a bit of a challenge," he downed the rest of his drink and set the bottle on the table in front of them, "she's one person, how hard can she be? I'm sure she'll be easy to break soon enough."

"Mate, it wasn't a challenge," Ben could already picture the impending disaster. If Joe went and tried to make a move on her, it would only end up in a mess or he'd be practically begging Y/N to show him some sort of mercy, "it was definitely a warning. No matter how much of the Mazzello charm you give her, she'll get her way."

"And just what is her way?" Joe knew, of course he knew, but he wanted to hear the words of out of his mouth. Ben just sighed and rolled his eyes, polishing off the last of his own drink, a few lone droplets running down the side of the bottle.

"Sex," he answered bluntly, "she likes sex with people she approves of. Her standards are pretty high so consider yourself lucky if she's interested. She's not interested in relationships, she just wants the benefits. I've heard nights with her are...memorable to say the least. Not one stands exactly, but not relationships. She’s not that kind of girl, she prefers her independence.”

"And you've never-"

"Never," Ben responded firmly. Not that he hadn't thought about it, because he had, many times. But his boundaries were never crossed and he held her close as a friend, "I've known her since college, she's been a good friend and that's what she'll remain. Her friendship is priceless, truly. I'd get on her good side, but don't waste your shot."

"Oh, Benny Boy, I'm going to shoot my shot," he promised him, "but it won't be wasted, trust me. I’m going to win her over before the end of the night.”

“Or she’ll break you down-”

“Not a chance,” Joe smirked, patting his shoulder gently, feeling his confidence grow as the alcohol working its way through his system.

He left without another word, leaving Ben standing there in a daze, shaking his head. He flagged down a waiter and got another beer as he saw Joe's retreated back, "your funeral mate, your funeral."

Joe felt the music vibrating throughout his whole body, mixed in with nervous anticipation as he prowled the floor keeping a sharp eye for Y/N. He would be able to spot her, of that much he was positive. Her beautiful face was already emblazoned thoroughly in his mind, combining with the red sequined dress she had decided to sport. She had dressed to impress and had definitely succeeded, as every head, man or woman, was snapped in her direction. 

A couple of women tried to grab for his hands or wrists, but he just pulled away, shaking them off without another glance as he made a direct beeline for Y/N. A couple of women huffed at him, shouting obscenities at him, taunting him for not wanting them. But tonight there was only one woman that was on his mind tonight and she was currently surrounded by a group of her girlfriends, as she shimmed to and fro, her dress glinting brilliant in the club’s lighting. 

Almost as if there was an invisible force pulling them together, Y/N looked straight at Joe, a wicked little grin forming on her face. She turned to whisper something in her friend’s ear, jerking her head in Joe’s general direction as she made her way over to him.

He tried to keep his thoughts from going straight into the gutter as he practically undressed her with his eyes, unaware that she was doing the exact same thing to him, curious as to what he was packing. She already knew he was big, it had taken about five seconds for her to figure that from her sly examination of his feet; she’d had enough experience with all sorts of men to know how to judge. Besides that, there was something about him that just exuded big dick energy. He wasn’t cocky per se, but he knew exactly what he was doing, but didn’t feel the need to show it off.

“Couldn’t let it go, huh?” she asked as she crossed her arms over her chest, doing so right under her breasts and pushing them up ever so slightly just to give him a peek. Even if he thought he was being subtle, the light flush that colored his cheeks spoke volumes. She leaned closer to him, her soft lips almost brushing his earlobe, breath causing all the hair on his body to stand up, “are you sure you’re not making a mistake?”

“No,” he licked his lips as his eyes flicked to hers, “I don’t think so. Perhaps you just think too highly of yourself. Maybe you’re just a little girl playing at being the bad guy? This could all be a grand facade of you wanting to feel like you’re in charge, but underneath all the glitter and talk, you’re just looking for the right person.”

“And maybe you think you’re the right person?” she kept her body close to his, inhaling the scent of his cologne. It was even more  intoxicating than the alcohol she had running through her system; his natural musk mixed perfectly with the woodsy smell, and she wanted nothing more than to be bathed in it. He tilted his head to the side and narrowed his eyes, giving her a cheeky eyebrow raise. She laughed, putting her hand on his cheek and gently pushed him a step back, “get over yourself. You’re not that special. What makes you think you’re any different from all the rest of the men and women here? I could have any one of them, and perhaps I will.”

“I got your attention,” he countered, waiting for her smart response, but she seemed taken aback, unable to think quickly on her feet. He reached forward and grabbed a lock of her hair, twisting around on her finger, “and you’re still here, talking to me, not telling me to go away.”

“Normally I’d cut a hand off if someone touched my hair without permission,” she told him, grabbing his wrist and giving him a firm look. She took his hand and hovered it over her chest, just to taunt and play with him a little - it was working judging from how quickly he swallowed, his chest rising and falling rapidly, “but I’ll spare you. You’re right, Mazzello, there is something about you.”

“It’s all part of my undeniable charm,” he tried to put on an air of bravado, to make it seem like he was much confident than he was, but he had a sneaking suspicion that she could see through his game. There was something about her that made appear to be some sort of Oracle, like she could take one look at him and she completely through him. Y/N remained silent over a few moments as they silently studied each other, waiting for the other to break first.

A waiter walked by, carrying a tray of drinks and Y/N casually grabbed two of them, handing one to him and keeping one, “bottoms up.”

“Cheers,” he concurred as the two of them quickly polished off the fresh alcohol. He wanted to cringe a little bit as the alcohol burned the back of his throat, but he hid it as best as he could when he saw that Y/N didn’t even flinch.

“What’s your MO?” she posed the question back at him, tapping the glass thoughtfully against her lip, trying to figure him out. She’d have a few interactions with him before, seeing him around their friend outings, but never thought much about him before. Sure, he’d caught her eye, he was good looking and funny after all, but something tonight had her feeling all sorts of ways.

“Same as yours,” he answered as he grabbed her glass and set it down at a nearby table. As much as she tried to suppress the smile that was forming on her face, it was slowly becoming a lost cause, as she continued to win her over, “I’m just here to have a good time.”

“Bullshit,” she laughed as she stepped closer to him, deciding to be bold and wrapping her arms around his neck. He didn’t stop her, his arms finding her waist, gripping them tightly over the sequined fabric. A little victorious smile appeared as she kissed his cheek, relishing in the feel of his stubble under her lips, “are you trying to prove some sort of point that you can win over any girl, or are you actually interested? I know my reputation precedes me, but I can play nice.”

“Can you?” he asked, letting a hand wander ever so slightly over her bum, seeing how much she’d let him get away with. She wasn’t about to stop him; his large hands left her feeling warm all over. Biting her lip, and she gave him a small nod as they started moving ever so slightly to the thumbing beat. It was like time had slowed and they were the only ones there, despite the fact that they were in a crowded club.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a girl, probably no older than twenty-one, staring hungrily at Joe, her eyes raking all over his form. Growing almost immediately annoyed, although she had zero reason to be, she dropped her arms from around him, gave him a quick kiss, startling him with surprise as she made her way over to the girl.

“You might want to be a little less obvious, love,” Y/N wrapped an arm around her shoulders, her voice dripping with honey. The girl’s eyes widened as she realized she had been caught red handed. Her eyes heated up as she opened and closed her mouth a few times, “it’s okay, I understand. He’s pretty good looking. But tonight he’s mine and maybe, just maybe, I’ll give you left overs if there are any.”

“I-I didn’t mean to stare at your boyfriend, I’m sorry,” she was embarrassed and couldn’t even make eye contact with Y/N.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Y/N laughed, causing her a bit of confusion, “he’s just mine for the evening. I don’t date friends.”

“He’s looking at like he’s a little more than a friend,” the girl shrugged and Y/N fought hard to keep herself from looking back at him, but she could feel his eyes on her, “I dunno, I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” Y/N’s face fell slightly as she realized she was quickly moving into something a little more involved with Joe than what was normal for her, “sorry for bothering you, sweetheart.”

She didn’t let her get another word, leaving her and making her way back over to Joe, a curious expression on her face.

“What was all that?” Joe wasn’t sure what had just happened. Y/N just shook her head and pulled his face closer to hers, “how can I help you?”

“I have a sort of policy,” she explained to him, wanting to make sure he knew the ground rules, “it’s a one and done deal. I don’t do relationships, okay? If that’s what you’re looking for, you’ve got the wrong girl.”

“Bold of you to assume I can’t change your mind,” he interrupted her, crashing his lips onto hers. She made a sound of surprise, but didn’t pull away, enjoying the feel of his soft lips on hers. Only when she was breathless, dizzy from his delicious feverish kisses, did she pull away from him.

“Bold of you to assume I won’t kill you for that,” she countered, stepping back from him and attempted to give him what she considered to be a hard look, “I’ve done much worse to men for much less.”

“You’re still here, aren’t you?” he was playing the game and playing it well. Biting back a smart remark, she decided on just giving him a small nod. He put his hand under her chin and tilted her head so she was looking at him, “what’s the matter, sugar? Cat got your tongue?”

“Are you going to take me home or keep trying to work up the nerve? I don’t like when people make me wait,” she asked asked after a few moments of silence, taking his hand and deciding to be bold by lightly sucking in his thumb. He inhaled sharply but took his hand and grabbed hers, leading her off of the dance floor.

“Let’s go,” were the last words out of his mouth as he led out her out of the loud club, eager to get home as quickly as possible.

Ben had watched them go, shaking his head as they left without another word. He had a feeling this would happen at one point another, and he was curious to see where it would go.

“Fools,” he said quietly to himself as he finished his round off, “passionate fools.”

"You probably think you're in charge, huh?" Y/N teased in between kisses, as Joe's hands tried to roam her body. She kept swatting them away, giggling as he became more and more desperate to touch her.

As soon as they had stepped into his bedroom he had kicked the door closed and slammed her against, kissing her with every bit of force and passion he had within him. She’d let him think he was going to have her with him, deciding to play with him a little. He had his body fulled against her, moaning desperately between every kiss.

"Y/N," he almost whined as he felt himself growing more and more needy (and hard) with each passing each second. She finally pulled completely, sliding out from under him, pressing her finger to his lips and giving him a wicked grin.

"Shhh," she said quietly. She was thoroughly enjoying this; but this was what she was after. Individuals that wanted her and she could take control of. But there was something about him that was different and kept her interested - part of her already knew that she wanted to see him again.

She kissed his lips before working her way along his jaw, slowly down the column of his throat, earning a few small whines from him. When she reached the apex of his chest, she slowly unbuttoned his shirt, taking her time to languidly undo every single button. She pressed a kiss to each spot of his skin that became exposed, sinking lower and lower until she was on her knees and face level with his erection that was strained against his jeans.

"Oh silly boy," she looked back up at him, feigning innocence with large doe eyes. His hazel eyes were dark with lust as she stood back up, leaving him worse off then before, no sort of relief achieved. She backed him until the back of his legs hit the bed, "I'm in charge here. I'm always in charge."

"Y/N-" his voice almost crack as though he was experiencing a bit of puberty as stood there, feeling like he was going to combust at any second.

"Lie down," she commanded with one eyebrow raised. He quickly obliged and laid down on the bed, eagerly anticipating her next move.

Whatever it was, he hoped it would lead to them both finally getting what they needed. She remained silent but kept her eye trained on him as she slowly unzipped her sequined dressed, letting it cascade down her body before it land with a soft thud on the floor. She was left standing in only her black, lacy bra and panties, glad she had worn that particular set, as it left very little to the imagination.

"Just because we're at your place doesn't mean you're in charge," she smirked as he watched her with widened eyes, breath hitching in his throat. Tying up her hair into a messy bun, she scanned his dresser, zoning in on an almost empty bottle of cologne. This must have been his favorite one since he appeared to use it religiously, the same one she had smelled on him earlier.

She picked it up and sprayed herself with it, breathing in the scent that she decided that she it was now one of her own favorites. Joe thought he might cum then and there, just from the sheer sight of the intimate moment. She titled her head to the side and offered him a lazy smile.

"They always say she's scared of me," she commented as she made her way over to him, "she is always some girl or another that I've apparently stolen a man from. I mean, I don't see it, but maybe it's because I'm always wearing their cologne. I like this one the best, I think I’ll keep it.”

“Are you trying to kill me?” his voice was weak and any resolve he had remaining for taking even an ounce of control was rapidly disappearing. She was good and she was getting exactly what she wanted - dominance and to frustrate him beyond measure.  She just gave an innocent shrug before tugging on his pants, as if to ask why he was still wearing them. He immediately understood, wiping away the sweat that had formed on his brow from all the anticipation before hastily unbuttoning his jeans with long, shaky fingers. He cursed himself for wearing such tight jeans that evening, hissing as he gingerly maneuvered them down his already weeping erection. 

“I don’t know, Joseph,” she let his name roll slowly off of her tongue, taking a moment to test it out and see how it sounded. She liked it, was the quick determination she came to, and she very much like the sight of him, laying on the bed in front of her, remaining only in his boxers. Letting her eyes graze over his pale, freckled skin, a smile came to her face as she decided that she was going to leave him covered in marks. That way everyone would know that he was hers - at least for the time being, or until she grew bored of him.

“You’re going an awfully good job of it,” he croaked as she reached into her bag and pulled out her lipstick; it was Mac’s Ruby Woo, her favorite that she reversed for only the few she deemed worthy. Studying her face in the mirror, she could see his gaze linger on her ass, taking in all the curves of her backside. Swiping it on quickly, she blew him a kiss in the mirror, followed by a cheeky wink. Every move was calculated and purposeful - the plan was to get him to his breaking point before finally indulged in her every carnal desire.

“Where are your ties?” she asked quickly, earning a confused glance from him, “don’t worry about it, just tell me where they are.”

“Hanging in the closet,” his voice trailed off as he jerked his head in the direction of the closet. Giving him a brief, she sauntered over to the door he had indicated, swaying her hips with every step, just give him something to think about. It took him a few a few moments to figure out why she was suddenly interested in his fashion taste, but he quickly put two and two together. His mouth dropped open and formed a wide O. She really was going to be the death of him at this rate.

“I like all the blue and greens,” she called from the walk in and he could hear her moving things around, the hangers screeching lightly against the metal rod, “I’m sure they bring out your eyes and look lovely against your creamy skin. But you know what I really like?”

“Tell me,” it was a desperate plea, as he was left hanging on each word that came from out of her mouth. She laughed, a musical sound, much too soft for her current demeanor as she clambered back into his line of sight. 

“I like red,” she held up two ties, in different shades of brilliant crimson, one displayed proudly in each hand, “red is the color of passion, lust, desire...everything.”

“Red’s my favorite color,” he choked as she came back over to him and reached for one of his wrists, taking and gently tying it to his headboard. That way he could move ever so slightly, just enough to make him think he had any sort of mobility felt. 

“Of course it is,” she teased, pausing before she grabbed his other wrist, “tell me you’re okay with this. If you’re not, I’ll stop right now.”

“No,” he wanted nothing more than for her to carry and have her way with him, “please continue.”

“Whatever you say baby boy,” she winked at him before going to the other side and repeating the same on his other wrist, “do you want a safe word, or do you think you’ll be okay?” 

“I’ll be okay,” he reassured her. She may have control at the moment, but this was far from his first rodeo. Granted, it was usually the other way around with him being in control and asserting his dominance, but he was eager to play the reverse role for once. Something told him it would be all worth it, and she knew exactly what he needed, “but I swear if you don’t touch me soon, I might lose it.”

“Don’t worry,” she grabbed his face with her and turned it so he was looking directly at her, “it’ll all be worth it. You’ll have the night of your life.”

He wasn’t able to find words, but instead made a few incomprehensible sounds as he nodded. She smirked before kissing him with some urgency, already leaving bright crimson marks on his face. Truth be told, she was just as eager to experience him as he was her; the fact that her panties were  almost soaked through was evidence enough of that.

She crawled onto the bed and straddled his hips, making sure to brush her wetness over his erection as she starting to grind against him ever so slightly. He craned his head up and captured her lips as he out a low moan at the much needed friction he was experiencing.

“Tell me what you want, Joseph,” she asked breathlessly in between kisses as she started to feel needier with each passing second.

“You,” he promised her, “I only want you.”

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[wondersbeyondcompare]

!! wait!! (◕⌓◕) you were doing the ask meme?! hjshfjakf can i ask number 1 for acelica and san with your kids? :'D

Aaaa, (・_・;) actually I was kinda busy when that tag game was posted, so I wasn’t really participating during that time nor did I reblog it (I really appreciated the tag, tho!! And reading about everyone’s OCs interacting with each other was fun!!). I think I’m a little too late to join the game, but I’ll answer any asks about my OCs since I have the time right now! 

And thank you so much for your ask!!!  °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° @syupermoon

What does (Your!oc) think of (My!oc)?

Berenice

“Looks like Little Miss Trouble-Maker has finally arrived! Now, Acelica-chan, what kind of mischief do you want to get up to today?”

Aaaa, yes. (￣ω￣;) Yet another student Berenice can recruit into her NRC trouble-making gang. Several years of half-death have done nothing to correct her ways.

However, if we’re talking about Berenice’s 1st honest impression of Acelica, she probably felt amused by her more than anything else. The proper ojou-sama facade Acelica puts up was far too obvious to Berenice, leading her to become persistent on breaking it down asap. There’s no way for someone to be that dignified all the time. This was Night Raven College, after all! She knew that all the students that came through those doors had at least 1 secret up their sleeves. Once Berenice caught Acelica showing her true colors, the part-ghost became delighted with the reveal of this hidden thrill-seeking personality, eager to help Acelica out on her endeavors. Berenice knew what it was like to be bored, and she wouldn’t wish that kind of torture onto anybody.

“Ahaha!! You’re a hundred years too early to pull a fast one over me! Try again next time, San-san~!”

Look (✧ω✧) If I can’t get away with touching San’s fluffy hair, then Berenice will go in place of me instead. He can’t lay a hand on her when she shifts to her default ghost mode, and she’s already partly dead, so (╯✧▽✧)╯

As for her actual thoughts on him, Berenice thinks of him as a fun victim for her pranks. She respects how much chaos he can stir up on his own, but messing with him was far too good an opportunity to waste. The popular types,too, are one of the many kinds of victims she goes for due to how many people surround them on a daily basis. >:3c Just like a bait attracting more prey… She’ll also show up at the most random moments just to get a reaction out of him, often when he’s in the middle of stealing something (where Berenice will probably snatch the object from his hands and reprimand him for his actions before disappearing with the item/throwing it out a window/handing it back. depends on which option would cause the most trouble/confusion). 

Kodi

“Hmm? What is it, Minuet-san? Oh, you wanted the last pastry? But there was a really long line in the cafeteria today, and-! Aaaa, sorry, sorry! You can have it. That’s what a good senpai does, right ( ; ω ; ) ?”

I’ve called Kodi a tool before, and Acelica can definitely unleash this boi’s full tool potential _(:3 」∠)_ RIP to Kodi’s dignity, you will be missed.

Since Acelica is a pretty ojou-sama type of girl and an underclassmen, it won’t be too hard to have Kodi wrapped around her finger the moment they meet each other. High society people and people who are younger than him are both types that he’s weak against, after all. Personally, Kodi will think of her as a sweet girl and won’t hesitate to do any favors for her should she ask. Even if Kodi catches Acelica in the act of doing something wrong, (after a small reprimand) he’ll try to get her out of trouble as best he can. He really strives to attain that image of a “kind, reliable upperclassman”, so he won’t turn against his precious kouhai that easily. Stroke his ego even more with honeyed compliments and (￣^￣)ゞ. Congratulations. You got yourself one ride or die fool for the taking.

“Umm, Heist-san?! Just a minute! I need to ask you something! Can you please tell me the secret to getting popul- Ah. He didn’t hear me…”

Ngl, Kodi’s lowkey jealous of San’s popularity lol. He won’t do anything to disturb him, but he’s also not above hovering around him in the background, taking notes on his actions so as to boost his own popularity. (￣ω￣;) Yes, the 2nd hand embarrassment is strong when it comes to Kodi, especially when he tries to imitate San right after taking said notes. Usually he ends up with complete failure, but thankfully no one notices him anyway. 

Kodi sees San as a really cool guy and admires him a lot. He doesn’t dote on him since he’s not an underclassmen of his, but he shows San a good amount of respect and usually stays out of his way so he could do his own thing. (╥﹏╥) If only he would pass to him more often in basketball club… 

Majid

“‘I’m boring?’ Then go buy your entertainment somewhere else. I don’t like being woken up.”

If these 2 weren’t in the same class, they probably wouldn’t even look the others’ way. I mean, sometimes they might run into each other whenever Majid chooses to nap in a high place like a tree, but otherwise (￣▽￣) nope. He has no interest in high society people. They were often the types to cover up their rotten hearts with their wealth and status, so he avoids having anything to do with them unless it’s to his advantage. 

His 1st impression of Acelica was pretty vague. Probably saw her as another one of those spoiled rich kids being supported by their rich family and immediately glossed over her existence. But once he sees her manipulation in action, Majid’s knee-jerk instinct will be to just avoid her completely. These damn aristocrats… Thinking that just because they’re a little better than other people that they can mess with them however they want… How despicable. Majid might become curious about her pocket watch, tho. Having an interest in all things jewelry related, he’ll be tempted to ask her to borrow it just so he could find a way to solve its little problem. 

“Jamil-senpai says I have to be more polite towards my seniors so.. *clears throat* Please shut up, Heist-senpai. I want to peacefully rest without your voice assaulting my poor eardrums everytime you walk by.”

I’m sorry m(_ _;m) Majid doesn’t like him either. He hates liars, thieves (altho Majid did steal from vendors when he was younger, he justifies that he only did so to survive and;;; he’s not;;;entirely wrong;;;), and loud upperclassmen, so San is the bane of his existence.  San better not take it a step further and steal Majid’s food otherwise the boi will throw hands b/c (눈_눈) this just got personal. 

I also found it funny how their origins too are complete opposites of each other. Whereas San came from a wealthy family and eventually ended up living in the streets, Majid went from living in the streets to accumulating a bunch of wealth for himself. Aaaa (￣▽￣) just another reason for Majid to avoid him. I think they might be able to bond through their hoarding habits, just don’t touch anything of Majid’s or he’ll go full Cave of Wonders on San (ーー;) 

[maknaes-and-hyungs]

Jaehwan In The Club With His Hoes

Note: So my new and lovely friend @clytemnestrasrevenge95 shared this photo and my instant thought was its Jaehwan and his hoes in the club and so I wrote this. This is also crossposted on my AO3 which is Blind Dyslexic Bat. Anyways I’m still obssesed with vixx so here~rin

 “Let’s fuck this shit up my babies!!!" A screech emanated from the bathroom followed by a skidding Jaehwan as his socks propelled him into the wall opposite.

    "Jyani babe what did we say about running in the house?"

    "What did we-" Sanghyuk waved off Wonshiks absent mind and proceeded to collect his boyfriend up from the floor where he lay, a sprawl of limbs. Unperturbed by what would most assuredly become a scolding from the younger, Jaehwan wrapped his arms around his mountain of a boyfriend and let him man handle him to a standing position. A quick peck of the lips and he had already slipped away to fling himself into wonshiks welcoming lap, he rarely scolded the elder preferring more...physical and sensual punishments.

    Sanghyuk knew that it would just cause more problems than it was worth to get annoyed before the evening had even started. He already had to go out and cede his power to Jaehwan or else he'd become super bratty and uncooperative. Sure that was one thing in the privacy of their home, but in public it made for a bit of a sticky situation. Explaining why your boyfriend of 27 was whining that his "daddies" pay him more attention and respect wasn't easy.

    "Hyogie just wants you to be safe sweet. Apologize to him or I'm changing to a blue shirt instead of this." 

"But Shikkie!!! We have to match so we can be like the cute mafia couple who never take no for an answer." Wonshik was about to turn the situation into one of those rare cases of scolding when he saw Jaehwans pout intensified 10 fold from his resting pout. "But fine I'm sorry Sanghyuk."

    "Excuse you. What did you just call me baby boy?"

    A "Daddy" slipped out of Jaehwan's lips as soon as he realized his mistake. He really did want to make it out to that club before his boyfriends both decided that staying in and delivering a stern punishment would be a better course of action. They, of course, already thought this but when you were dating a little like Jaehwan it was best to give into a few of his whims now and then. Clubbing wasn't actually one of these but wearing matching outfits was and according to Jyani a club was the only appropriate place for their attire.

    "Why don't we just stay right where we are sweet. I know you like matching our outfits, but how about we get some matching bruises instead." Shik smirked and pulled Jaehwan's body flush against his as the boy straddled either side of his lap. Squeaking in surprise his sweet tried to squirm out of his grasp mumbling something about how that was indecent and that he hadn't even had dinner yet. However the blush that spread like a raging wildfire across Jae's skin was enough to tell both his boyfriends that he wanted it but was embarrassed by this fact.

    "Wonshik I did not get all dressed up with make-up and everything to just not go out at this point. Now whether or not our misbehaving baby is coming with us is something that can be negotiated and don't give me that look baby boy. We let you play pretend that you're the big man on campus to save you face, but if you keep acting out like this then maybe they would like to see little Jyani. All dolled up in his pink stockings and white dress with that sparkly lip gloss all over your plump little lips." As he said this his voice got ever so deeper and he pulled Jaehwan's head back by his hair so he was towering over him.

    "These tight pants you chose are really wonderful sweet. Like a little lie detector and we don’t even have to ask the question.”Wonshik palmed at the obvious tent in Jaehwan’s pants before sanghyuk let him go and shik was able to toss the older man off and onto the couch. This is when Jaehwan realized that his punishment had already begun and that the night would not be what he expected. “Get up sweet we’re going right now and if you protest you know what will happen.”

Without further protest Jaehwan bolted upright and to the entrance way to put on his coat. His eagerness almost earned him a smack as he tried to head right out to the car without his boyfriends. Both of them grabbed an arm and hauled him back in to a stop where he stood, head down, waiting for them to put on their coats. The tension in the room was palpable and Jaehwan almost fell to his knees at the look Wonshik shot him which screamed submit. Hyuk wouldn’t even look at him which he knew hurt his baby cause if there was one thing Jaehwan couldn’t live without it was attention.

To further his torment Wonshik and Sanghyuk sat up front holding hands the whole way and forced him to play the silent game. The only difference to the harmless kids “game” was that if he spoke up he’d probably end up being spanked on the side of the road. Now while he would love this he knew they’d probably end up leaving him there with the message to catch an uber and then locking him out of their house. So Jaehwan was silent even when they reached a red light and his boyfriends started making out being obscenely loud and messy.

“Awww what a good baby boy you were.” Parked just around the corner from the club, Sanghyuk nuzzled into one side of his neck with Wonshik on the other,”As a reward you can act all tough tonight and you can even pretend to punish me if you want.”

“You know our sweet will just end up a whimpering mess the second he tries to say anything bad to you. Although I’d love to see you on your knees for him, it's been so long since we’ve given him the privilege of our mouths.”

Jaehwan wanted to whimper and plead to them over and over for such a present, but he had to remain composure. They were trying to get him to fuck up so they could punish him later. Lee Jaehwan was not a quitter, unless told to be of course, so he pushed them both off and stood up tall. His strut was determined and ready to leave the two in his dust, because he was going to be Jaehwan tonight not baby boy or sweet.

“Hurry up boys! Don’t want to keep my adoring fans waiting just because you two have no impulse control.” Sanghyuk and Wonshik looked at him and then to each other conveying a simple message silently, Jaehwan had switched out of his little space. They couldn’t wait to break his resolve.

“Well if it isn’t Lee Jaehwan my favorite pimp and his two favorite hoes.” The bouncer,In-sik, said his usual joke to the three and opened the velvet rope so they could surpass the huge line.

“You know it. Come here boys we can’t have you behind me when everyone knows its always the other way around.” Jaehwans voice switched from sweet and innocent to deep and sultry as his boyfriends went in front of him and he rested a hand of each of their shoulders. A guy of about 23 who stood at the front of the line blushed and he threw him a wink as the trio sauntered inside.

It was much of this same reaction that they received in the dark club along with a few more bold looks from other men and women. Monsta X’s song Play It Cool was blasting over the speakers while lights flashed everywhere. Jaehwan, unable to not support fellow singers, wanted to get on the dance floor as soon as possible. Fuck getting tipsy first this song was the perfect way to get his boyfriends to grind against him. So he slid his arm down their backs and proceeded to slap their asses and move into the throng of people dancing.

“Oh he’s gonna die tonight.”

“Agreed Shikkie. Totally and utterly agreed.”

The two instantly pushed away everyone who had gotten up against their baby and took their place. They didn’t care who the fuck saw or if they were judging them, because all they knew right now was Jaehwan’s body. Wherever they could reach they did and by the end of the night they all knew his neck was going to be completely covered in hickeys, the only thing visible being purple. 

At first Jaehwan was bouncing around and flitting back and forth between his two daddies. Twerk It Like Miley passed by like this in a similar fashion and it wasn’t till Take You Down by chris brown started that things got more heated.He threw his head back onto Wonshiks chest with his arms looped around his neck eyes closed and absorbed in the feelings of the song. Sanghyuk filled the space in front of him, hands instantly slipping underneath his shirt to settle on his sides.Both grinded up against Jae simultaneously earning more than a few glances when he moaned loud enough to surpass the music. And while a little PDA was good and all both Wonshik and Sanghyuk preferred to keep their baby’s noises to themselves.

The silkiness of Jaehwans shirt replaced the warmth of hyuk’s hands and his back grew cold in Shiks absence. When his eyes opened his wrists were both placed in vice grips that, to the outside world, looked like two boyfriends lovingly holding hands with their third. They were going to keep up the facade that Jae was still in charge but they were done playing along and made a beeline to the curtained off booths on the second floor. Making sure no one was watching they shoved him into one that had no table, just seating.

“We are going to fucking wreck you. How dare you moan like that baby boy”

“I swear to god i’d handcuff you right now if I hadn’t let ours at home.” Both of them growled as they shoved Jaehwan to the ground and held his hands above his head. This was followed by an onslaught of hickeys all across his neck and collarbones.

“Daddies? Can I get a kiss?”

“Of course.” Wonshik went in first to captures his lips but Jaehwan turned his head at the last second. “Sweet do you want to be punished? Now isn’t the time to play-”

“Eskimo.”

“Oh dear. I think we’re gonna have to wait babe. I think he’s in soft mode right now.” Sanghyuk relinquished his hold on their little’s wrist and pulled his boyfriends up to a sitting postion.”Baby boy what do you want to do right now?”

“I wanna cuddle with you and change my clothes. These are grown-up clothes and I don’t like it,”Jaehwan petulantly pulled at his shirt sleeves,”Wanna dress up like Daddy said earlier. Wanna be your pretty baby boy.”

“Aw sweet you are always our pretty little baby boy. Don’t worry your daddies thought ahead and brought you some clothes in the car. I’m afraid its just your short shorts and that frilly baby blue top, but when we get home you can change right away okay?”

“Okay, but eskimo first.” Smiling Wonshik moved in and grabbed his baby’s face smushing their noses together and rubbing back and forth. Without a breath taken Sanghyuk snatched him away and did the same thing leaving all three of them giggly and content.

“Let’s get out of here. You think you can pretend for two more minutes baby?” Jaehwan nodded albeit with a slight frown and got ready to brave the club again. His only resolve coming from his high chances he knew he had of getting them to stop at a store and buy him a new outfit for not bringing the one he wanted.

[arsenicsine]

Jealousy in red

Sylvain Jose Gautier/F!Byleth 

Fluff, Jealous, Post-Timeskip

Two requests one fic, loved writing this! You can also find this over at: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20798156

The thrumming of the music made the dance floor feel like it had a heartbeat of its own, many people dancing along to celebrate the latest victory in the war that could mean the end of it all. Nobles from far and wide in the Kingdom and Alliance were accepted inside, giving a colorful atmosphere of fancy layered dresses supported by a petticoat or two, embellished suits outfitted to the nines in decadence, but all of it was poultry compared to her; Byleth stood amongst the crowd, her beautifully mint green hair sticking out in the sea of reds, blacks, blondes and brunettes and the outfit chosen for her with the help of Mercedes and Hilda just took Sylvain’s breath away…  

Fitted white corset top that pushed her large chest to an perkier height was a sight, while the rest of the dress with a golden and blue embellished cloak that was similar to the one she always wore when fighting. Not to mention as she strode through the crowds of guests, Sylvain could briefly catch a glimpse of her signature black tights that just seemed to light a fire in him knowing despite how poised she looked, Byleth stuck to things familiar to her without a care of what others thought. Byleth was a warrior and a leader, that could never be hidden by a few fancy additions.

Sylvain ran a hand through his ginger hair as he set down the drink he had been nursing the entire night between noblewomen’s requests to dance with him, and confidently made his way to the dance floor. Weaving between people, Sylvain kept seeing that recognizable hair cutting through the crowd until it would disappear behind another party goer… It felt like he was on the hunt for the mysterious former teacher whom he fancied. The beat of Sylvain’s heart began to pick up speed as he finally broke through the crowd and saw Byleth’s calm face as she tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. She was stunning as always, her sharp eyes scanning the crowd while she gave only half-hearted replies to the nobleman beside her.

Just as Sylvain stepped out to the side of the dance floor to approach Byleth, he felt his heart drop an inch and his mood sour as Sylvain was greeted with one of the eldest son of Bergliez next to Byleth. The other man had his body resting on the wall next to Byleth, with his arm creeping around her waist and a tipsy smile on his lips as he mumbled something to Byleth that Sylvain couldn’t hear from this distance. It sparked something inside of Sylvain, like a flame suddenly turning into an inferno as he hurriedly approached the pair with no real plan in mind as Sylvain came to stand at Byleth’s side.

Sylvain was much smarter and quick on his feet than people really knew, and without hesitating he smiled at the man who had the gall to touch Byleth. “Ah, your brother Caspar is looking for you. Something about your father? He’s over at the garden.”

This got the man to quickly remove himself from Byleth and gave a short bow before quickly hurrying off to the large open arc door at the far end of the ballroom. Byleth looked at Sylvain with a brow raised, silently questioning if that truly what had happened… It was just like her to see right through him. Sylvain smiles at her and does a little bow, “Don’t fret, I always save a lady when in need…” This made Byleth chuckle a little, trying to stifle her laughter which made Sylvain smile naturally.

“So, what was the story about that guy?” Sylvain crossed his arms and leaned against the wall right next to Byleth, enjoying the subtle spice of a sweet and cinnamon perfume coming from the woman of his dreams. Byleth gave a half hearted shrug, starting to rest against the wall more with Sylvain until her head slowly slouched to rest on his shoulder. “He just came up talking to me about nobility, and the like. A little touchy, but I don’t think he meant harm.”

Glancing to the side, Sylvain felt a warm blush starting to spread as Byleth used him as a headrest… it was pleasant… but that comment about the man being touchy made Sylvain feel like his blood was boiling once again. Resting his head to the side to rest on top of Byleth, he let out a huff through his nose. “Shouldn’t let him touch you like that…”

“True, but he really didn’t look like he meant any harm.” Byleth mumbled, absentmindedly nestling into her compatriot’s shoulder.

“Do you think I could do you any harm?” Sylvain tried to stop himself from letting out a content sigh as she nestled into him, praying softly to himself that she can’t hear how hard his heart is beating.

Byleth is quiet for a moment, considering the question thoughtfully. Of course she had trained with him as a student, helped to get him to his top strength and enjoyed seeing his intelligence when it came to even the most obscure topics despite how he tried to hide it from others. After a moment, she finally chimed up. “No, not really. We’re far too close and I was the one who taught you how to fight better after all.”

With his question finally answered, Sylvain slipped his arm around her waist to pull her closer with a gentle squeeze. It surprised Byleth for a second but she settled into leaning against his chest more as a subtle blush started to form on her cheeks. Sylvain had been holding his breath in the moment, worrying that Byleth might reject his advances but when she settled into his hold, a sigh of relief escaped him.

“Much better than that guy, right?” Sylvain closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Byleth’s much smaller but firm body against his own. She feels like absolute heaven against him, Byleth’s hand gently roaming across the expanse of his back which made Sylvain shiver for a moment. They just meshed together perfectly, like they were meant to be this close to each other more than Sylvain yearned for… “Are you jealous, Sylvain?” Byleth murmured softly, just barely audible over the crowd’s laughter and music. It took a moment for Sylvain’s brain to connect with being so easily called out on his behavior, his body rigid and shoulders hunching… Was it always so easy for her to see right through him like that? Sylvain laughed awkwardly and looked away from Byleth as he tried to relax his posture to how it was before. “Me? Jealous? Pfft… Very funny, By. It’s me we’re talking about. How can a notorious skirt chaser ever get jealous.” He was deflecting and it was obvious, everything in him was too scared to actually admit his jealousy since it meant outright confessing his feelings for her right then and there.

But it was completely true, and he was guilty as charged; Seeing that pitiful man daring to touch the elegant, strong and ethereal Byleth just had him squirming in a way that through Sylvain off his usual cool facade. How could a man like that have the audacity to touch her so openly? She was special… Byleth saw all sides of Sylvain and didn’t shy away from even his uglier parts. Byleth took time to understand him, spend time with him and actually learn the weaknesses along with the strengths he had instead of just taking him at face value. Every part of her was the kindest and most endearing woman he had ever met, not crest, standing, wealth or nobility meant anything to her… only the person’s character did. So just how could a man only interested in elevating his status think he had the right to even be near her.

While Sylvain was lost in his thoughts, he didn’t seem to realize he had begun to squeeze onto Byleth’s hip in a possessive hold that had the few who wandered close making a hasty retreat. Byleth could barely contain her amusement seeing the serious expression suddenly overtake Sylvain, since the only time he ever had such a fierce look in his eye was when he was either battling or speaking to…

A few things were clicking in Byleth’s head that made sense with everything that had been happening for the last few months. Every time a retainer or fellow former student invaded her personal space around Sylvain, he’d step just a bit closer or try to distract the other person in conversation or tasks. He’d bring her that lovely tea which had become Byleth’s favorite at least one a week, then invite her out to tea times all over the monastery when there wasn’t something serious happening… Even on the battlefield he stuck to her more than usual, and often was the one to fight alongside her.

Standing on the tips of her toes, Byleth placed a quick peck to Sylvain’s cheek which quickly derailed every thought he was having. He just looked at her wide eyed and surprised, trying his best to figure out just what to say as a new blush covered his face. “I- By- You-” Was all he could stammer. Byleth repeated this action, peppering his face with kiss after kiss until Sylvain was finally knocked out of his confusion and finally returned one… clumsily, albeit.

Actions spoke for all the questions he had floating around in his head as Byleth rested her forehead against Sylvain’s when he bowed his head down, smiles exchanged between them in this soft little moment in the crowd of unknowing people.

“You’re cute when you are jealous… If I had known you felt this way for me, I would have done something by now.” Byleth plainly stated while placing her hand against Sylvain’s cheek. Sylvain rolled his eyes but being called such sweet things by her was enough to boost his confidence tenfold. “I’ll remember that. Let me rectify this by stealing you away from this dull party to have some time, just the two of us.” Sylvain took Byleth’s hand off his cheek and gently placed a kiss to the knuckles, already starting to guide her away from the crowd without hesitation this time.

...Oh and how Sylvain reveled in that fool’s expression as the newfound couple passed him in the garden, Byleth pressed close to Sylvain’s side with the pair having dreamy smiles as they chatted about how Sylvain should have said something sooner.

[itsallavengers]

stony, 5 please? :)

Wait a minute. Are you jealous?

There was someone hitting on Steve.

Which was woefully normal. Steve was... well, Steve. He drew every eye in the room as soon as he walked in. He was charming and kind and genuine. Literally anyone with eyes and a brain would want to take him home and keep him there. Luckily, Tony had (somehow, miraculously)  managed to get there first. 

Unluckily, however, that never seemed to stop people from trying their luck anyway. 

In all honesty, Tony couldn’t even blame them. Back in his youth, he probably would’ve tried to do the same sleazy thing. And this guy- the one brushing his shoulder against Steve’s and smiling up at him with the most obvious bedroom eyes in the entire fucking world- he seemed exactly like Tony when he’d been that age. Couldn’t have been over twenty-five, with tan skin and those stupid hipster glasses that no-one thought was cool anymore. Except Steve, who called them ‘neat’. 

Goddamn him and his adorable ass. 

They were having what appeared to be an avid conversation, Steve cradling his bottle of beer between two hands as he leaned against the bar and watched the other guy talk. Tony, to be quite honest, wasn’t even supposed to be at the gala at all. It was for a school-funding charity that Steve had fronted, and although Tony’d been invited as a guest, he’d been ridiculously busy and had had to send Steve out on his own. 

Of course, this was what happened as soon as everyone saw that Steve Rogers was missing a Tony Stark hanging off his arm. Obviously thought he was fair game. Fucking vultures.

Would Steve even want him to butt in at this point? Tony had come to drop off Steve’s speech which he’d somehow managed to leave in the workshop before heading out, and when he’d texted he’d implied that the event had been pretty boring- but that was twenty minutes ago, and he seemed to be having a good time now. With the younger, hotter version of Tony who had an ass that left practically nothing to the imagination in those jeans and who probably didn’t have nearly as much trauma and daddy issues-

Stop it, he warned himself with a huff. It had been three years, and Steve hadn’t left yet. He loved Tony. Tony was being ridiculous. Tony was-

...Watching as the man ‘spilled’ his drink all over Steve’s dress shirt and then used that as an excuse to put hands all over Tony’s fucking boyfriend, dammit, those were his pecs to touch, not that little overzealous highschooler who probably didn’t even have anything higher than a fucking bachelors in anything, the stupid little bastard.

Tony was walking over before his mind had even made the decision, body acting of its own accord. He pulled the notes out of his jacket, looking down at Steve’s familiar curly writing with a small smile before dropping his hand and hurrying down the stairs, moving through the crowds with practised ease. As he got closer, he heard what the kid was saying. He had a warm voice; smooth and low, and jheeze, Tony could just hear the suggestiveness in his tone, no one spoke like that normally and that was a fact.

“-I’m such a clutz, dammit, I remember this exact same thing happened when I was driving my new limited edition mustang, except with coffee. Ugh, I swear I’m good with my hands usually- in all senses of the word if you know what I mean,” the guy stopped and winked up at Steve, who, bless him, just smiled sort of awkwardly and then shook his head.

“It’s fine, honestly, I can- you don’t have to- I got this,” Steve raised his own hands in a signal for the guy to back up, which surprisingly, he did. He then began to scrub a few times at the stain on his chest, before sighing and just leaving it there, tossing the napkin onto the bar. “I don’t think there’s much else we can do about that for tonight.”

Tony could practically see that asshole gearing up to swoop in for the final move- some sort of ‘my place is five minutes away, wanna go clean up there?’ or some cheesy line like that- and so before he could, Tony’s mouth moved first.

“Hey babe- now I’m here, we can really get this party started.”

Steve and the kid both turned to him, opposing expressions falling over each of their faces at the same time- Steve with delight, and the little asshole with annoyance. 

“Tony,” Steve said warmly, opening up his arm on instinct and then letting Tony press himself up against Steve’s side. Usually, Tony probably would’ve just gone for a cheek kiss- but Tony was feeling petty, and sometimes, he just liked to let people know that he did not and would not ever share his toys, and so without hesitation he leaned up and curled his hand around Steve’s jaw, pulling him down for a scorching kiss. 

Of course, Steve went with it. Tony could feel his mild surprise, but that didn’t stop him from kissing back with vigor, his hands sliding down Tony’s body until landing on his ass and staying there for a few moments. It took at least three seconds for Steve to remember he was at a public function and hastily move them back up to more appropriate territories, and Tony felt himself grin. 

He eventually broke off, keeping his hands resting around Steve’s neck as he turned his head and looked at the other guy with a slick smile. “Hi,” he said, “I’m Tony. You might have heard of me before.”

The guy blinked, looking a little put-out for a moment before regaining his composure and then smiling back. “Lucas,” he responded, “it’s nice to meet you, Tony. Although I thought you weren’t attending tonight?”

“Well, life is full of surprises, isn’t it?” He said sweetly, before  turning back to the important person in the room and sliding Steve’s prompt cards into his breast pocket, shaking his head at the man fondly. “You’re a goddamn nightmare, you know that?” He said, leaning up to kiss him again. 

Steve smiled sheepishly. “I was distracted. I’m sorry for dragging you out here.”

Tony felt himself being glared at to his left, so he turned his head and then raised an eyebrow. “Hey, just out of interest- is your car the limited edition mustang that’s parked outside?”

A flash of surprise. “Uh, yeah. Why?”

Tony just shrugged, pointing a finger. “Oh, because it was getting toed when I came in. You might wanna go get it.”

It was a dick move, but then again, Tony was known for being a dick. Lucas’ face paled, and with a quick curse he scurried away, bumping Tony’s shoulder as he pushed through in order to stop his car from being toed by the invisible toe-truck that Tony had just made up.

Steve watched Tony as he pulled a face. “What a shame. He seemed like a nice guy.”

When Tony looked at Steve to see whether he agreed, Steve simply shrugged indifferently. “Yeah, he was cool. He’s one of the ambassadors for the charity- does a lot of good for the local kids apparently.”

Tony nodded. Yeah, Steve would’ve loved that. “Pretty, too,” he continued, unable to help himself, because he was a childish idiot who might as well have been writing ‘do you still like me best’ on a sticky note and sending it across the classroom.

Steve just looked at him funny. “Uh, if you say so,” he said, shrugging again.

Tony looked at him. “Just out of curiosity, how low did his wandering hands go when he was rubbing you down with that napkin? I’m thinking he was at least trying to make it to the abs, but your angle was better than mine-”

“Tony, what are you-” Steve paused, before his eyes widened a little and he looked down at him in what seemed to be amusement, “wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

Tony huffed, flapping out a hand and letting his peaceful facade fall. “Of course I’m jealous, that damn twink had his hands all over you, and he’s hot, and he’s not got any gray hairs and he wears those stupid hipster glasses that you like and you didn’t seem to mind too much that he was flirting the pants off you at some charity event on a Sunday evening!”

Steve looked at him in bewilderment, blinking a few times. “He wasn’t flirting with me,” he said dumbly, but when Tony just stared, unimpressed at him, Steve’s eyes widened. “He was flirting with me?” He asked incredulously.

If it had been anyone else in the world, Tony would have been absolutely certain they were just trying to cover their asses. Because surely no-one could be that oblivious, right?

Well. Steve could. Hopeless-at-flirting, dense-as-a-brick, romantically constipated Steve had managed to mix up Tony’s blatant propositioning for friendly banter for about two years straight. He couldn’t see a come-on if it painted itself neon orange and danced naked in front of him.

God, Tony loved him so much it hurt.

He smiled weakly, resting his head into Steve’s shoulder. “When people make sexual innuendos about how good their handjob skills are to strangers, that’s a big sign that there’s flirting going on, yeah,” he explained in amusement.

Steve’s hand tightened around Tony’s waist nervously. “Oh,” he said, and Tony wasn’t looking at his face, but he could just sense the blush of embarrassment crawling up there, “oh, I had no idea- oh God, sorry Tony, I promise I wasn’t trying to encourage that, I wouldn’t, you know I-”

“Oh God, of course I know that you big lug, be quiet,” Tony huffed and smacked him lightly on the chest, looking up at him, “sorry. It’s just...” he gestured to himself with a bashful shrug, “issues,” he finished weakly, “lots of them. Manifesting in various shitty ways.”

Steve looked at him, and then frowned a little as he took Tony’s face in his hands. “Hey,” he said quietly, “you know that I’m not planning on leaving you for anyone any time soon, right?” A smile curved across his face. “No matter how young they might be or how cool their glasses are, or even if they don’t have a single grey hair on their body. I don’t love any of them.”

Tony looked down with a sigh. “That’s stupid of you,” he muttered, “maybe when I was in my twenties, I would’ve been better for you, but Jheeze, Steve, I’m on the wrong side of forty now, and then there’s everyone else you could have and I know it’s stupid but sometimes I just see them and think-” he broke off, shaking his head as he finished, “I’m just... so far from what you deserve, that’s all.”

When Steve didn’t say anything, Tony just sighed in dismay. God, why did he have to go and run his mouth and make everything about him? This had started off light-hearted, but of course, he had to go and make everything sad. “Fuck, just ignore me,” he muttered, smiling tightly and stepping away, “I’m only kidding around. Knock ‘em dead with your speech, Steve, you always do- I’ll probably be asleep when you get back but-”

He stopped speaking as Steve grabbed his arm and pulled him back in, kissing him hard and fast. Steve’s grip on his bicep was firm, and he pushed Tony against the bar in order to go at his mouth like they were in the bedroom rather than a charity event. Tony just rolled with it, holding back the urge to make an inappropriate noise in front of all the guests. Fuck, Steve was good at kissing. 

Then Steve broke away, and Tony looked up at him with a blank face, stunned into temporary silence.

“You’re such a goddamn idiot sometimes,” Steve told him with a shake of his head, “I’m a 1940′s loud-mouthed runt from Brooklyn who grew up with nothing more than ten dollars in his bank at any given moment, who fights crime in tights and doesn’t even know when someone’s blatantly trying to come onto him- yet I’ve managed to bag the world’s cleverest, most beautiful, funny and kind superhero in the entire world, and you think that you don’t deserve me?” 

Tony frowned. “They’re not tights,” he said eventually, “they’re graphene-lined kevlar bodysuits.”

Steve just looked at him, and then he smiled so warmly that Tony felt as if he might melt from it. The man leaned down, pressing the softest kiss against his cheek. “Tony, you are ridiculous,” he declared, “and I love you more than anything else in the whole world, okay? Grey hairs and everything. In fact, the silver fox look is kinda hot. So.” Steve just shrugged, winking down at Tony when he blinked in surprise. 

There were some days when Tony wondered how in God’s name he’d ever managed to find someone as perfect as Steve Rogers. Today was one of them. And the strangest thing about it was that Tony knew Steve wasn’t lying. He did think that Tony’s grey hairs were hot- in the same way he found it cute when Tony fell asleep on Steve on the couch and ended up drooling on his shoulder, or loved the crows feet around his eyes because they showed he was happy. 

Steve was just... perfect. 

“I love you,” Tony said, kissing his shoulder apologetically, “sorry for freaking out.”

“I love you too,” Steve responded, “sorry for being so oblivious to other people’s come-on’s.”

Tony grinned wryly, looking up at Steve as an idea popped into his head. “I think I know a way to potentially deter people doing that in the immediate future,” he told Steve solemnly, nodding his head.

-Which was how they found themselves in some conveniently placed cloak-room, making out like teenagers as Tony sucked a variety of dark hickeys into Steve’s neck, just under the collar, but visible to anyone if they were looking hard enough. 

He heard as Steve breathed hard above him, Adam's apple bobbing up and down under Tony’s mouth. “Jesus Christ,” he breathed, “sometimes I forget how nice love-bites feel.”

Tony nipped the spot he was working on with his teeth and felt as Steve gasped. “Will try and regularly remind you then,” he muttered, pressing Steve against the door and splaying his fingers out across Steve’s chest, “God, I love you,” he said, peppering kisses across the sharp line of Steve’s jaw.

Steve whimpered. He adored it when Tony kissed him there. “Love you too,” he breathed harshly, eyes clenched shut as he let his head drop back against the door, much to Tony’s delight. God, how bad he wanted to suck a hickey right up onto Steve’s throat, where Goddamn everyone could see it, and know where it had come from. 

Alas. The Charity hosts probably wouldn’t approve of Steve Rogers walking up on stage looking like he’d just been fucked in a bathroom stall- no matter how much Tony might like that idea.

“Okay, we gotta- we gotta stop,” Steve said eventually, although it sounded thoroughly pained, “my speech is in five minutes and I cannot come in my pants before I walk up there. That’s just so many levels of bad.”

Tony pouted, but ultimately ceased his attack on Steve’s neck. “I’ve done it before,” he said moodily, “more than once.”

“Well, I’m not quite as shameless as you,” Steve told him, before rubbing at his neck and grinning, “how do I look?”

Tony stepped back, admiring his handiwork. Steve’s collar was unbuttoned, and from his sternum to the beginning of his neck were a litany of purpley-pink marks, slowly darkening against his pale and flushed skin. He looked beautiful He looked like Tony’s.

It was ridiculously childish. 

It was also ridiculously hot.

 “You look like you’re currently unavailable to any potential suitors,” Tony said eventually, kissing one of the marks gently and feeling the hot skin underneath his mouth.

Steve met his eyes and smoothed out Tony’s hair. “Good,” he said, before looking down at his watch and sighing. “I’m also about five minutes late. I should’ve been in the wings getting the run-down by now. I really have to go.”

Tony nodded, stepping forward and buttoning Steve’s shirt back up properly, re-tying his tie until he looked just about presentable. “Alright,” he said, “and I really have to get back to my work. Pepper is going to kill me if I don’t finish this paperwork.”

Steve nodded, hand going backward and curling around the doorknob. “Right,” he said, breathing in once more and trying to pull his eyes away from Tony’s mouth, “speech. Okay. This’ll be fun. I will... we will continue this when I get home, okay?”

Tony just nodded wryly at Steve’s slightly whiny voice, patting him on the shoulder fondly. Yeah- he really had no reason to doubt a thing. Steve was still just as in love with him as he had been a year ago, or two or three or four. Tony still had it. And apparently, the grey hair just made it better, which was certainly a fact that Tony would be taking into consideration from now on.

He leaned up and kissed Steve one more time, before backing away. “Go get ‘em, soldier.”

[v1ntagecassette]

One Of Us (Chapter Eleven)

Previous Chapter

Summary: In this final chapter, Virgil must come face to face with both Deceit and his past in a way that's less than ideal for all parties involved.

Warnings: Manipulation, lots of Deceit

Words: 3,600

The silence that hung over the commons lasted an eternity. Each Side looked back and forth between the Logan at the railing and the Logan on the couch like they were watching a game of tennis, and the Logans themselves merely stared at one another. The air was thick with tension.

“I’ve seen enough poorly written TV dramas to know how this is gonna go,” Virgil grumbled, pressing the side of his head against the bannister, “and I’m honestly not in the mood for it.”

Roman’s hand was already back on the hilt of his sword. “I will not hesitate to impale the imposter!” he declared, ignoring Patton as he rushed over to swat the weapon away.

“Don’t bother,” Virgil said tonelessly. The space in his chest that had housed fury mere minutes ago now felt hollow. He raised a hand and pointed to the Side on his left. “That one’s real.”

The Logan on the couch drew himself up in indignation.

“How do you know?” Patton asked. He sidled half a step closer to Virgil.

“Because,” he said, glaring at the sofa, “the real Logan doesn’t look at me like that.” Like he’s known me for a hundred years. Like I’ve never once failed to disappoint him during all that time.

“I’m, ah, pretty sure they look the same.” It appeared no amount of suspicious squinting would help Roman pick up on the differences. Virgil just shook his head.

“I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about,” the Logan on the couch insisted, a crease forming between his brows.

“Give it up, Deceit,” Virgil said to the painting over his head. “None of us want to play this game.”

Everyone turned expectantly to the sofa, but their furtive glances at the stairs made it more than obvious that no one was entirely certain Virgil was right.

Then the Logan rolled his eyes, and the facade melted away.

His expression was the first thing to change. Confusion and worry gave way to something much worse as his frown bled into a smirk; a small gasp worked its way from Patton’s mouth in response, but the impostor was unfazed. They watched in horror as the glasses on his nose vanished into thin air to reveal a sickly, slit-pupiled yellow eye.

The skin of his left cheek was next, turning green and smooth and scaly everywhere but around that horrible eye, where it went a deep shade of pink instead. A cape slid up from behind him to cover the polo and tie, and from its pockets he pulled a pair of thick yellow gloves. With a flourish, he procured a black bowler hat from seemingly nowhere and tipped it smoothly onto his head, sinking into the couch cushions like he owned the place.

“So nice to see you all again,” he cooed. Virgil was the only one who didn’t draw back.

“I — Deceit?” was all the real Logan managed to say.

“How did we manage to fall for this again?” Roman said in exasperation. His weight bounced from foot to foot in an effort to contain his restlessness.

“You didn’t,” Virgil told him, pointedly looking away from the couch. “I did.” He stuck his thumbnail between his teeth and bit down. “God, I’m such an idiot.” There were so many signs, so many red flags he hadn’t been vigilant enough to notice.

“That’s not true in the slightest,” Deceit said. His smirk flickered for half a second when Roman growled at him.

“Is there a reason you’re here?” Logan asked impatiently. “Other than to needlessly torment us, of course.”

“Bold of you to assume you’re the one he’s tormenting,” Virgil muttered. He realized a second too late that he’d said it loud enough for Patton to hear.

“What do you mean?”

Virgil dug his fingers into the fibers of the carpet beneath him. “Nothing,” he said, and Patton fixed him with a Dad Stare.

“‘Tormenting,’” Deceit scoffed. His elbow was propped lazily on the arm of the couch, and his chin rested in palm. “That’s obviously what I’m doing here.”

“Alright, then what the hell else would you call it?” Virgil demanded, finally swiveling around to look at him.

“Let’s take a step back,” Logan said quickly, “so you can fill the rest of us in. What’s going on?”

With a sigh, Virgil bent forward and let his forehead fall against his knees. He took a breath. Then he stood, determined to keep his cool.

“Deceit was pretending to be Logan,” he said steadily, “to screw with me. He brought me to Logan’s room, and I…” Tried to tell the truth and was immediately cut off. How did I not notice? “I’d really love to know why he’s letting me tell you this.”

“Hold on,” Logan said. “I’ve been in my room all day. What did this one look like, exactly?”

“Uh… telescope by the window, stars on the ceiling? Lots of silver and blue?”

Logan looked thoroughly disconcerted. He arched an eyebrow at Deceit. “You couldn’t have broken in,” he said, sounding like he’d just put on his sleuthing cap. “I would have noticed. There were no signs of forced entry, either… but Virgil’s description seems accurate, which would suggest that —”

“He made a copy of your room,” Virgil finished. His fingers fiddled with the zipper on his sleeve as he thought back to the oddly quick, familiar route he had walked to get there. We never even left the subconscious, did we? “That’s why it took you so long to answer the door. You were changing your own room to make it look like Logan’s.”

“You’d make a marvelous set designer,” Roman mused. He was standing beside Patton now, and the latter gave him a quick jab in the ribs with his elbow. “Sorry, sorry, not the time.”

“But why bother with all this?” Patton asked, twisting the sleeve of his cardigan around his hand. “And why just go after Virgil? It’s not like you two have any more reason to fight than the rest of us.”

Virgil pinched at the bridge of his nose and said nothing.

“Might as well come clean,” Deceit said to him with an infuriating shrug.

“Might as well shut it,” Virgil shot back.

“Come clean about what?” Patton asked, and it took all of Virgil’s self control to refrain from crossing the room to slap Deceit in his stupid face.

“Nope,” Virgil said, biting his lip and tipping his face toward the ceiling. “We’re not doing this, sorry.”

Roman huffed. “Well, now you’ve got us curious.”

Of course you’re curious. This whole thing was probably some elaborate setup to force Virgil to confess at the worst possible moment. He shot Deceit a look, but the snake had busied himself with pretending to inspect his fingernails (which was ridiculous, considering the fact that he was wearing gloves).

“Curiosity killed the cat,” Virgil said. The prince just rolled his eyes. “Look, I — it really doesn’t matter.”

“Not at all,” Deceit said with a nod.

Logan took a tentative step closer to the center of the room in an effort to better assess the situation. His eyes flickered over Deceit’s smug grin and analyzed Virgil’s flustered glances in his direction in an instant. “Are you keeping something from us?”

“Of course he’s not,” Patton said immediately. “There’s no need for secrets, we’re all friends! Right, Virge?”

“It’s not as if he hasn’t kept them before,” Roman reasoned. “Who’s to say —”

“Guys.” Virgil pressed two fingers to his temple, taking half a second to collect his thoughts before digging up some semblance of an explanation. “You know what? Fine. I — I used to be a Dark Side. Maybe I still am one, I don’t know how it works, but — Pat, please don’t interrupt, just let me — thanks. But yeah, I was working with Deceit to… I don’t know. Make you guys miserable. You never listened to me, but Deceit did, so I — it doesn’t matter. What matters is I believed him. It’s my fault, and I’m sorry.”

A dull ringing grew in his ears as he finished. He should have felt anxious. He should have felt terrified. But honestly? Aside from a slight tingling in his hands, he felt nothing. Maybe that anticipatory torture from Deceit was good for something after all.

“Virge, I…” Patton said, looking close to tears. “You never said anything.”

“Why on Earth would you keep this from us?” Roman’s his usual gusto was replaced with something uncharacteristically fragile.

“It’s my fault,” Virgil said again.

“Your — what?” Logan said blankly. These three simple words seemed difficult for him to process. “Virgil, he’s manipul —”

His hand clapped against his mouth.

“That’s enough from the peanut gallery,” Deceit interjected, clenching his right fist. In the time it took Virgil to blink, everyone’s hands had flow to their faces, expressions confused and vaguely panicked, fruitlessly trying to force out muffled protests through their palms.

“Don’t —” Virgil began, lunging forward, but Deceit jumped up and sidestepped him, causing him to nearly trip headfirst over the coffee table.

“It would work to your benefit if you heard me out,” he said. “I’ve got so little to say and so much time. It’s been such a short while since we’ve had the chance to really talk, hasn’t it?”

The longer he spoke, the stranger the atmosphere surrounding the commons began to feel. The chill in the air that usually accompanied Deceit’s presence had increased tenfold; Virgil was pretty sure that in a physical plane, his breath would have fogged up before his mouth. The light that usually filled the room was eerily dim, as if someone had thrown a blanket over all the windows and lamps. Everything seemed dark and endless; the hallway, the stairs, even the kitchen a few feet to the his left. He could tell the others were feeling it, too — not just the cold, but the emptiness that came with it.

A single glance at the three of them was enough to tell Virgil this was more than they could handle. They hadn’t stopped fighting Deceit’s influence, but it was clear that they were afraid. Patton had fallen to his knees, and Roman crouched worriedly beside him as Logan looked on from the other side of the stairs. Virgil could feel their fear in his chest like a hundred pound weight against his lungs.

“You let them go,” he said, forcing his voice not to shake. “This is, like, gratuitously villainous, even for you. There are better ways to get me to listen.”

“You’re right,” Deceit said. A twisted bitterness laced his tone. “Intimidation is a terrible strategy. I’ve never used it, and I certainly haven’t advised you to do the same.”

Virgil squinted at him. “Your lies are getting sloppy.”

“No they’re not.”

Then he noticed how labored Deceit’s breathing had become, how hunched his shoulders were.

“This is too much for you, isn’t it?”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about.” The way he incessantly tugged at his right glove said otherwise. It didn’t take much for Virgil to put two and two together.

Taking on another Side’s appearance was challenging. None of them were strangers to shapeshifting — in fact, it seemed to come easiest to Roman and Deceit, likely due to how blurred the line is between acting and lying — but too much of anything can turn it sour. All this paired with the effort it took to silence the others so frequently (and in such great numbers) did not bode well for Deceit.

“As usual,” he said, clearly trying not to grit his teeth, “you’re speaking absolute nonsense.” A short breath in through his nose, and then: “Don’t you see what you’re doing to them?”

“What I’m doing to —?”

“You’ve spent years doing nothing but hurt them,” Deceit said. He stalked around the coffee table, a viper closing in on its prey. “Haven’t you watched this scene play out enough times? It’s never going to end differently than you fear it will.”

“You’re lying.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Because you have tells when you aren’t, and you’re not using any of them. You’re too exhausted to tell the truth. I know you better than you think I do.

“All you do is cause them pain,” Deceit went on, still slithering forward. The darkness around him was denser now; an unsettling vignette that made it impossible to look away. “You’ve betrayed their trust and broken their hearts. Do you really think they’ll want anything to do with you after this? Even if they do, things will never be the same.”

Let them speak for themselves, Virgil thought, but the words didn’t pass his lips. What would be the point? Deceit wouldn’t comply, and truthfully, Virgil wasn’t too sure he wanted to hear what the others had to say. He scratched out the demand and tried a question instead. “Why do you want me to come back so badly?”

Maybe it was a trick of the light (or lack thereof), but something about Deceit just barely seemed to falter. “I don’t,” he said evenly. “We don’t need you. We never have.”

Virgil glanced at the others, at their wide eyes and pained expressions. A terribly similar image drifted to the front of his mind of faces he’d spent months trying to forget, and he dragged his attention back to Deceit.

“You’ve always told me I’m nothing to you,” he said. “To any of you. This is just making you look weak and desperate.”

Deceit’s eye flashed. “I spent years looking after your pitiful self,” he said, gripping the hem of his cape with his free hand so hard that his knuckles must have gone white under their glove. “You spent just as much time keeping an eye on them. And then you left.”

That was a truth. An infinitesimal, one-sided truth.

“These dolts may have accepted you,” the snake said, sincerity vanishing, “but they’ll never love you. Now that you mention it, maybe your return isn’t such a bad idea after all. Back in the dark, back with us… it’s where you belong, isn’t it?”

It was a lie. That was obvious enough. But when Virgil opened his mouth to respond, all he managed was a shaky breath before closing it again. In a way, Deceit had a point; he’d let the others down time and time again, and this confession may very well have shattered their trust in him. He took a small step forward, then another one back, and Deceit just watched him, waiting for the verdict to turn in his favor.

Then a single word cut through the emptiness, ringing around the commons like a bell.

“No.”

And Virgil froze, because he wasn’t the one who said it.

Roman had broken free of Deceit’s hold. His hand jerked toward his mouth like it was drawn there by a magnet, but he shoved it down and grabbed onto his sword instead. There was a clean-sounding swish as the weapon was unsheathed and pointed, with perfect steadiness, right at Deceit’s chest.

“Don’t worry, Princey, you’re not interrupting,” Deceit grumbled, making to advance, but he didn’t manage more than a step in Roman’s direction before the blade was level with his nose.

“I said —” he wiggled the sword for emphasis “— no.”

Although Deceit’s gaze was scathing, Virgil was by no means oblivious to the way his fist shook. He clenched it tighter; Roman’s arm flinched once more, but the sword didn’t stray.

“Virgil,” Roman said quickly, “you know he’s lying, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Without hesitation, Roman thrust the blade into Deceit’s stomach.

Time ground to a standstill as a collective gasp passed over the room. For the first time since Virgil had met him, Deceit seemed completely caught off guard; his mouth had fallen open in shock. Roman yanked the sword back and sheathed it, looking satisfied, and Deceit reflexively pressed both hands to the site of a nonexistent wound.

“You’ve truly bested me,” he said, straightening up. “As a material being with a physical body, I’m bleeding out painfully as we speak.”

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to hurt you,” Roman said casually. “Though I’m sure that would have been fun. May I direct your attention to your right hand, however, which is currently held to your stomach rather than balled into a fist?”

Deceit mouthed at him wordlessly like a fish out of water, then turned to face the Sides he’d been controlling seconds prior. Both of them were back on their feet, dusting themselves off and checking to be sure the other wasn’t hurt, and the very sight of them made Deceit look more frustrated than Virgil had ever seen him.

“As I said, my goal wasn’t to hurt you.” Roman made a valiant effort to wrestle the pride from his tone. “Just to distract you long enough to make you let them go.”

“Oh drat,” Deceit drawled, stitching his composure back together in an instant. “Foiled again. My master plan has fallen to pieces at the tip of your sword.”

A few moments of silence stretched across the room, but they were broken by Roman’s quick (and dramatically loud) strides toward the stairs.

“Dude, what’re you —?”

The prince turned his back to Virgil, planted his feet, and once again drew his sword — not in an offensive position, but a defensive one. The time to attack was over. Now, he was going to protect.

“I think it’s about time for you to leave.”

“We’re all well aware that you’re lying,” Logan said matter-of-factly, shifting slightly to his right to stand beside him. “To us and to Virgil.”

“Yeah,” Patton agreed. He moved so that the three of them formed a sort of wall, barring Deceit off from Virgil entirely. “And we’re not gonna let you talk to him that way.”

Deceit tweaked the brim of his hat impatiently. “As if any of that matters,” he said. “You’ve seen now how quickly dear old Anxiety will turn on you with a little incentive. We’ll be here when you decide you’re done with him.”

“Can it, Lie in the Sky,” Roman said dismissively. “We’re done with you.”

Deceit flashed him a sneer. Then, with a final, unreadable glance toward the silent Side on the stairs, he sank out.

The moment he vanished, Virgil spun around to face the others. “I’m so sor —”

“It’s alright,” Logan said, stopping him before he could launch into speech, “really, Virgil. None of us blame you.”

“You should.”

“Don’t say that.” Patton’s fingers twitched as though they’d like nothing more than to reach out and touch, steady, hold some part of Virgil. But he held himself back. “It wasn’t your fault.”

A short, mirthless chuckle. “Maybe not at first,” Virgil said. “But I — for years I was working with him, trying so hard to screw you over, we — even when you were nice, I never stopped —”

“Virgil.” Roman’s voice was firm and clear. He knelt down to Virgil’s level. Placed a hand on his knee. “You are not the villain here.” He pretended to ignore the sharp intake of breath that greeted these words.

“Deceit is a master of manipulation,” Logan chimed in. “It’s entirely understandable that you would have listened to him, especially given how we were treating you at the time.”

“That doesn’t mean it was right.”

Patton took a moment to settle down onto the step, then nudged carefully at his shoulder until Virgil begrudgingly looked him in the eye. “Listen to me, Virge,” he said. “I don’t care what you did. I don’t even care why you did it. The important thing is that you’re trying to be better. And you really are better! You come to movie night, you work with us, you hardly ever fight with Roman anymore —”

“Whether or not you were a Dark Side,” Logan said before Patton could ramble too far, “that’s in the past.”

Virgil closed his eyes and held his breath.

“We chose to accept you,” Roman went on. “You chose to be accepted.”

He knew what was coming, but that didn’t mean he was prepared.

“Deceit is a big old liar,” Patton assured him. “We all love you a whole bunch! You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

His heart beat so loudly he couldn’t even tell who was the one to say what came next.

“You’re one of us.”

The warmth in those words, that unwavering certainty, was enough to make Virgil break down. He took a shuddering breath and finally let the tears he’d been holding onto for days slip silently out, drawing tracks through his eyeshadow and down his cheeks. Without a word, Patton wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.

Telling the truth had turned over a stone that crawled with worries Virgil didn’t want to confront. There were dozens of questions he’d left unanswered and plenty of problems he’d swept out of sight. But as he sat there with his fingers gripping the back of Patton’s cardigan, as he felt Roman’s steady hand on his knee and Logan’s supportive grasp on his shoulder, he realized just how lucky he’d been to stumble into this mess — and really, he’d take this over living a lie any day.

The End

Read it on Wattpad and AO3

A/N: Well... that's the end! I didn't initially plan to end it here, but the more I wrote, the more I realized that this was turning into one big finale. If I'm struck by a wave of future inspiration, this might turn into a series in a couple of months, and because of that, the conclusion may have left a handful of questions unanswered. Feel free to ask them!

That being said, thank you SO MUCH for all the love you guys have given this fic over the past few months. You're the reason my tiny story ever made it past one chapter, and the reason I wrote it to completion. To those of you who managed to stick around through the increasingly sporadic updates during musical and exam seasons, I thank you most of all.

Last but certainly not least, if you've got any suggestions for future fics you'd like me to write, you can send me an ask.

Taglist (send me a message or an ask if you want to be added):

@sammy-writes-stuff @idk-whats-a-side @scorching-scotch @virgilient @4fandoms4ever @fantazyiskey @ed-tries-to-be-cool @ebony-wolf @sander-fander @coolidontunderstand

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Blood.

This is what happens when I have an idea for a comedy comic strip but can’t draw.

Min Yoongi (Suga) x Y/N

Supernaturl au. Smuttish. Kinda crack(comedy for those who don’t know the term crack)?

1.7k words

A few months ago, you met a guy and it was pretty much lust at first sight. You saw him from across the bar and your heart beat erratically at the sight of this beautiful creature. As if he heard the sudden increase in your heart rate, he looked directly at you and your eyes met. Shivers ran down your spine and excitement pooled in your stomach. His gaze was dark and mysterious with a hint of danger and you had never wanted to be beside someone more in your life. So, you arose from your seat and made your way through the crowd to him but by the time you reached his stool, he was gone.

You returned to the bar almost every day for just over a week in hopes of meeting the handsome stranger again but, he never showed.

It was two weeks after your eyes were first blessed with his visuals that you came across the man again. You were sat up to your desk at the travel agency where you worked when suddenly a figure stood behind you, looming over your frame. Seeing a shadow had taken over the papers you were supposed to be working on, while actually fantasising about the handsome stranger, you turned to find out who was blocking your light to find the man plaguing your every waking moment stood there, leering down at you.

"Oh, hello." You squeaked in surprise, pleasant surprise but you tried to keep your cool facade. A cool facade he easily saw through, how could he not when you were literally shaking with excitement, your heart pumping so hard and fast he could see the blood rushing through a slightly protruding vein in your neck.

"You've been looking for me." It was a statement, spoke in a harsh tone that was meant to scare you off, give you a silent warning but, the deepness of his voice vibrated through your body sending delicious ripples up your thighs. "Why?"

"I uh-" You swallowed hard and shuffled in your chair, hoping to look more put together when you spoke your next words. "How can I be looking for you when you're the one in my place of business?" You retorted, a slight, teasing smirk lifting one side of your mouth. He stared for a few seconds in shock at your obvious flirtations before a flash of an amused smile quirked his lips, vanishing so fast you almost doubted your own vision.

"I guess I am." He nodded before pulling over a chair to sit directly opposite you. He leant down onto his spread knees with his elbows and studied you. "What's your name?" You pointed to your name badge and he scoffed, chuckling slightly. "I can read, I want to hear you say it."

"Why?"

"To make up for not asking you two weeks ago."

"Y/N, my name is Y/N."

"Y/N." He hummed moving to sit back but he didn't close his legs and it made you want to get on your knees between his spread thighs. "Pleasure to meet you Y/N, my name is Yoongi."

And that was how it started, your casual relationship. It wasn't casual in the sense that you both saw other people because neither of you did, you were only interested in one another. It was casual in the sense that nothing had been agreed upon, at least not officially. At least once a week, Yoongi would take you out for the evening and spoil you, treat you like a queen before dropping you at your house with a simple kiss. Of course you spoke between dates, via phone call and text but you only saw one another on the evenings he took you out. That meant you didn't have much time together, alone. You were always in public places enjoying just being in one another's company but you yearned for more. Yoongi was an incredibly attractive guy with perfect, pale skin that made you envy him, soft black hair that you longed to run your fingers through and tug in hopes of earning a moan and deep, beautiful brown eyes that looked at you so intensely, like you were his next meal. You wanted Yoongi and you wanted him bad.

It was three months exactly after your first date that Yoongi finally took you to his home. It was a lavish, spacious apartment with a beautiful view of the city. His choice of decor was simple and practical, everything had its use or purpose, even the decorative pieces had multiple uses. He used a specific colour scheme; black, white and grey with splashes of red here and there. The living area was open plan and started as soon as you entered the home. But that didn't interest you. You wanted to know about his bedroom. On the other side of the living room, in the centre of the back wall stood a lone, black door.

"Is that your bedroom?" You asked slyly.

"Would you like to see?" You nodded and Yoongi smirked before leading you over. He opened the door and motioned inside.

That's how you wound up naked on his bed with his head between your thighs. "Fuck, I want to bite you so much." He growled, running his nose along your inner thigh as he took a break from eating you out with such enthusiam it was as if you were his last meal. "You taste so fucking good, Y/N." He nuzzled his face into your thigh, spreading wetness onto your flesh before turning his attention back to where you really wanted him. You moaned instantly and arched your back off of the matress.

Usually, you didn't like to watch when a guy went down on you but it was Yoongi and you wanted to know how he looked with his dark eyes peering up at you. So, you opened your eyes and lifted your head to look down. The moment you saw his face you froze and your eyes widened. "Ohmygod!" You shrieked, shimmying up with bed quickly with your hands over your mouth in shock. "I am so fucking sorry, I didn't know."

Yoongi looked up at you, his dark hair a mess and falling into his eyes and that was pretty fucking hot but as soon as you got to his nose, you freaked out. His lower face was covered in blood.

"I thought I had another week left!" You explained.

"What?" He mumbled. "Come back here." He tugged on your ankle but you quickly pulled it out of his grasp making him sigh in annoyance. "What is wrong with you?"

"Are you not aware what is going on with my vagina right now?!"

"I was enjoying myself eating it." He pointed out, looking nothing short of frustrated at the disruption.

"My fucking period started and you just carried on?!"

"Well, yeah." Yoongi looked at you as if it was obvious he would, as if it was stupid to suggest he do anything else. "What else do you expect from a vampire?"

"A what?!" You yelled. You of course knew vampires existed, you knew they walked and lived amongst humans and had for decades. Honestly, you had no problem with them, most of them just tried to live like everyone else, like humans, and fed off animals or blood substitues. Some of your friends and coworkers were vampires, your brother even married one last year. But, you had never realised Yoongi was one. "You're a vampire?"

"You...you didn't know?" He moved to kneel up then, showing you his bare torso and erection that was trying to break free from the constraints of his dark grey boxers. "How could you not know?"

"You never told me!"

"I thought it was obvious, most people know as soon as they meet me." You just continued to stare in shock. "For a start, my skin, it's pale, I clearly don't get much sunlight."

"Not all vampires are pale, my sister in law goes to a tanning salon."

"I have fangs."

"They're not obvious, I've never seen you hungry so I didn't know you have them. I thought they're just slightly pointed canines, mine were like that when I was little."

"You never wondered why we only meet after sun set, or on cloudy days?"

"I assumed you can only spare time in the nights and I never realised we only meet on cloudy days."

Yoongi moved to sit down on the edge of his bed with his back to you while he took in the fact you were incredibly clueless.

"So all this time, you never realised I'm a vampire?"

"No."

"And...do you have a problem with it?"

"No."

"Then lay back down so I can finish eating you out." He demanded impatiently, getting up and turning to face you. You looked at him with an incredulous look. "What?"

"I just, you really want to do that?" He nodded firmly and you bit your lip nervously. "I've never had a guy go down on me while I'm on my period, it seems kind of...weird."

"You've only been with humans?" You nodded. "Well there you have it. Tasting your blood is a turn on, Y/N." Yoongi informed as he crawled back onto the bed. "And I love making girls cum with my mouth so getting both is making me so fucking hard."

"But, doesn't it taste horrible? Because it's period blood?"

"No, it's got a fuller flavour, it's thicker, I can't explain it really. It's like, living on vegetables despite being a meat eater and then finally getting a nice thick steak."

"Oh." You nodded in understanding.

"So now you know, you gonna let me carry on?" You nodded shyly and returned to your previous position on the bed.

"Can't beleive you didn't know I'm a fucking vampire." He chuckled as he settled back between your legs.

"Shut up."

"I literally said I wanted to bite you like five times in the past half an hour."

"Why don't you use that pretty little tongue of yours for something better than talking, huh?" You suggested, a sharp almost demanding tone to your voice. Yoongi licked his lips before growling and diving back in.

The fact that Yoongi was a vampire didn't bother you and surprisingly, the fact he was eating you out while you were on your period suddenly didn't bother you either. You finally got the man you had been lusting after and you were going to enjoy every fucking second of it.

iI know I’m supposed to be writing other stuff but this idea just came tome and I had  to write it

I’ll now get back to watching Dirk Gently’s Holistic detective agency and pretending I’m going to do some work lol

~Chee

[iimmcrtalis-archive]

DA verse

a summary post of all my active muses verse(s) in dragon age because i’m f EELING IT BOYS. except terry for rn bc it’ll be Hard. one day. gonna try and go in a from least knowledge bout their verse to extensive knowledge of ‘em so. ayy

this is a pretty long post i apologize to those on mobile!!

Nova; mage(???), human ( ? ), possibly a distant noble

probably a mage? because blue space magic is her jam. though she’s actually more of a combat & tech. she was like well rounded in that regard so i’m considering iunno??? battlemage maybe w/ lockpicking who knows. she’s a sneaky mage that can stab u real good.

would probably also assume she’s pretty good as inquisitor because she would treat it as her role and thing she still has to bare and takes it seriously. like nova is no nonsense as inquisitor but absolute nonsense when she’s not playing that role lmao. 

Morgan; mage?? human af ye. defo a noble blood t BH. 

i unno man. iunno. is he a mage? yeah probably. would he be a legit battlemage + arcane warrior? probably. Would i say he uses a real sword? pro b ab ly. like listen he’s a beefy mage who wears normal armor and probably looks like a fckn non mage but bOOM SUDDENLY LIGHTNING FROM HIS HAND W H AT 

iunno he’s a mage and he’s aggressive as FUCKKKK. aggro as fuck. probably sides withhh iunno both he’d want both and think it’s wasted potential to only have one lmao. iunno he’s hard to figure out man. he’d ultimately probably be like templars because actual ppl who know how to fight. but also wouldn’t wanna condemn the mageS??? so who knows who knows. 

anyways he probably likes blackwall and the iron bull and viv and cass?? and just ye. chills w/ them a lot probably. probably would flirt w/ cass tho god. butw/e no he’s uhhhh real aggressive as a fckn inquisitor like every body getting beheaded. except a few probably.. he would probably make uh... whats his name... tranquil tbh. worse fate than death that yes he would wish on his enemies bc otherwise they get what they want & too risky otherwise. 

Igne; old af elf, probably an assassin combo w/ magic??

like listen if you tell me that they can’t be both ima fckn punt u bc really that’s dumb. defeats the point of multiclassing in the fantasy genre of g am es. anyways really tho they’re old. old as balls. probably? iunno. probably served like... andruil for a while or somethin! got a lil lil corrupted but didn’t want it and wanted freedom so they were like FUCK THIS SHIT IM OUTTIE 

how’d they live? no idea. not a single clue bc i just don’t know jackshit bout ancient elf shit anymore (when did i ever) but honestly. it’s probably a thing right? old af elves everywhere. but no no they’d probably even annoy sera bc like they’re literally?? nonsense. violent af nonsense. hanging off a roof with a fckn potato in their mouth & lookin ready to murder. 

it’s a look™  but nah thinkin that u hhh corruption shit is probably what gave them a red eye ayyy

inquisitor igne is like dagger eyes at solas but doesn’t snitch on him ever not even once. she’s got his back man. she’d be like cool i’ll plaY BOTH SIDES SUre. sure. no mercy run on ppl tho god 

EVELYN / ISENE; old af elf. got that fckn combo again

it’s a theme really, combo classes. all my muses? multiclassed fuckers.  for a detailed everything, please refer to her old blog bc this is gonna be a stupid summary of it so ayyy.

old as dicks dude. lost her arm in the rebellion, against the rebellion. served elgar’nan because he fits her the most tbh. still sort of serves him i guess. like if he showed up she wouldn’t hesitate to follow his orders is what i mean here. otherwise she keeps up the facade of being a former dalish elf mercenary. and definitely doesn’t shy away from admitting she’s got magic. never calls herself a mage because  like lmao 

she has a fckn big ol sword she carries around one handed? and if ur like UR JUST A MAGE she’s gonna use said big ol sword to chop ur head off. not a fan of modern mages tho lmao. at all. like not a lot of sympathy for them. but she would also just kick a circles door in and be like cool leave gtfo you weaklin lil fucks jfc go learn somethin. 

would fight solas in a denny’s parking lot at 2am if she knew jack shit. but she really doesn’t so she’s like ur weird and i dont trust you  butyeah lm ao

Eludysia; ngl i unno if she’s old old but she’s Old. Old seer lady. 

honestly i think she’s not gonna have much of a da verse in general but it exists enough that i feel like i should cover it here. but essentially she’s an old elf seer in rivain. leader of a port side town. No chantry or qunari around its a lot of elves tho. refugees and what not from kirkwall and stuff. 

i unno if she’s an ancient elf but i know she’s old. like real old. so who knows

if she is ancient she probably woulda been like a priestess to ?? falon’din or dirthamen??? because seer shit but like even in a current state she’s fairly devoted to on e o f them or both? probably both lmao. so it’s w/e. 

she’s the former keeper of the clan revas got sent to, which is where revas’ mom is also from and how she gets to that clan. but she was keeper of the clan for like.. a long time like a long time. like that bald fuck from da:o  but without plaguing people with a curse. iunno how she did it but magic and better than that shit. 

more important if revas is inquisitor because lmao she’d probably be like.. welp im gonna come guide you?? probably.   shit she’s probably like emerald knights old tho shit but no fuckin!!! probably comes to be an advisor. 

i think if u go revas as commander/advisor or inquisitor in a thread eludysia’s probs gonna show up and be like sup  but otherwise she’s mainly just a contact in rivain for info and resources!! no special quest or anything u can just contact her for stuff. 

Warren; half-elf, half-qunari. big man w/ a bow.

&& a thick af accent let’s be real here. 

i haven’t made a post about his shit yet so! this one might be a lil longer!! 

grew up in/around starkhaven. in an alienage somewhere really! but he’s got that starkhaven accent. probably just fumbled his way there because honestly he got fucking ditched by his people and has no idea who his parents are lmao. just knows his mom died during child birth and he was fuckin cursed essentially via his?? clan or something. that qunari bit of him is real obvious as his horns grew out and probably had a harsh life in an alienage. 

because he’s not an elf. but he’s not human. and he’s not a qunari. so he’s just. him. 

eventually falls in with some ppl who teach him to steal. so he does a lot and then gets busted and they fckn break his horns off and chop his ears!!! and throw him the fuck out. as you do. but they taught him to use a bow so he’s good with that. and knives. good at close quarters and a long range.

gets better with a bow. real top knotch stuff. ends up in a mercenary crew (same one as qunari inquisitor? probably.) enjoys his merc lifestyle ya know has a good time killin shit 

anyways. companion warren is p much like ‘Strength & force.’ because he has no tact and doesn’t care about politics. like one day i’ll have his approval / disapproval shit. but today is not that day.

but the same applies to his inquisitor shit. he’s fucking brutal as an inquisitor. cares about the little people but FUCK the rich. takes the well for himself ( tho if i would also say revas is there bc i can and she’d take it) but generally just!! give him power and let him kill shit!! that’s all he cares about. tho he wouldn’t kill samson or calpernia bc he doesn’t see them as enemies or villains truly? just pawns in a big scheme and he’d probably stare corypheus in the face and be like get fucked you saggy fuck 

he’s great, great guy. 

Revas: Keeper. Dreamer. Dalish elf. 

literally like most people know Revas’ Dragon Age basics!! but if you don’t i’ll just direct you to her old blog, so you know what’s up.  i’ll put it into a summary the best i can tho! 

Backstory: short and simple? #fucked.  expanded? she was born to the lavellan clan to one of the head hunters & warriors. ended up having magic so she was sort of training to become second, or first, till her moms old clan was like hey we need a new first so uhhhh help us out. and they traded some goods and revas went on her way. ended up being a fucked up situation where the previous first was murdered by two clanmates who eventually tried ( and did) murder revas but she came back bc lmao spirit help & ended up killing them and leaving for her actions.

Dragon Age: Awakening:  full page about it Takes place shortly after this event happened. she lived on her own for awhile, protecting people as much as she could from darkspawn during the blight. ends up going to the wardens because someone doesn’t appreciate her help since she’s a Mage.     The choices made by the warden in regards to her effect how she becomes a warden and the rest of the timeline. Sort of a branch off feel. highly recommend taking a look at the page and also this post. 

DA 2:  If not in the Awakening verse, Revas travels around to the clans. becoming a traveling keeper & helping the clans the best she can. As well as finding ruins and exploring man memories from lost objects. Eventually finds her way to Kirkwall to actually speak with Merrill. But some other shenanigans play out and some stuff goes down. Ends up helping in the fight at the end and leaving with Zevran ( @allurfavesrqueer‘s zevran only lmao. )

DA:I     Companion: Shows up in fereldan with some tree peeps. gets some elvhen shit. offers her services to the inquisition bc that’s what her spirit told her to do. and ya know real fucky. shares some approvals as solas but usually has some pretty contrasting opinions on things! Will defo take on the role of like older sibling or sibling figure with the inquisitor if they’re close enough. Be kind to elves & mages and you’re good.  ( also she’s an option to take the well if the inquisitor doesn’t want it) 

   Advisor: Takes up an offer by the inquistor to become an advisor which is more or less her using her network with the elves around the countries to do certain objectives and what not. acts a bit like an ambassador for the elves & mages in the meetings to give them a voice and remind the human board of trusteeeess that they’re fucking not the only ones around :)) 

  Commander: Mainly with @desiderrium‘s Cullen. Basically Revas takes over for Cullen? at his request kinda because she’s like what the fuck you’re whAT. and gets pissed at everyone else for keeping him on when he’s Not Okay even if she’d rather kick his teeth in 99% of the time. why revas take over? because she’s actually p fuckin qualified, gestures vaguely towards being a first and the advisor au. like she knows how to lead ppl so ayy. 

  Inquisitor: Same ish backstory happens except her parents died to the blight and she left the clan for the other and ye same shit happens. but the clans ask her to go check shit out for them and shes like of course and gets caught up in the mess so. 

ALRIGHTY !! 

so that got long but yea!! hopefully this is a more condensed version of stuff and good for reference later. 

[lechevaliermalfet]

“His and Her Circumstances” and the truth about relationships

I’ve occasionally been described as liking grimdark stuff when it comes to anime (fun fact: I initially wanted to type “been accused of liking”, then thought better of it).  As much as I protest this label... it fits.  I enjoy series like Berserk, Rurouni Kenshin: Remembrance, Neon Genesis Evangelion, X, Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Soul Taker, and Revolutionary Girl Utena. Yes, Utena is dark.  It only looks pink and wonderful on the outside.  But I like lighter and softer shows, too!  I loved watching Azumanga Daioh! and found I’m Gonna Be an Angel! weirdly compelling, and still go back to them occasionally.  Well, I go back to Azumanga Daioh!; it’s hard to go back to I’m Gonna Be an Angel! considering the thing was never fully released in the U.S.  And I watch BECK Mongolian Chop Squad about once a year or so.

But one that I don’t wind up talking about a lot is His and Her Circumstances. Which is a crying shame, because it’s probably my favorite romantic comedy out of all the ones I’ve ever seen.

I saw this show for the first time my first year of college, which dates me; this would have been January or early, early February of 2000.  I remember driving home from my friend’s house, where we’d watched the first four or five episodes, in such a deep, marrow-freezing cold that the Discman I used to play CDs in my car didn’t want to spin a disc.

I couldn’t put my finger on quite what it was I liked about it at the time.  I mean, yeah, there was the madcap pacing of it.  And I liked the art (but I’m a weird dude who likes shoujo art exactly because of the way it looks). And it was the rare anime comedy that actually got me laughing without needing liner notes to explain why something was funny.

A certain part of me getting the humor was because a lot of it was visual.  The way characters’ reactions are expressed, both internally and externally, involves a fair bit of abstraction and unconventional depiction.  It makes them instantly understandable and relatable, and the comedic timing is well done.  I also think that a lot of the comedy centers around pretty universal ideas that make sense no matter where in the world you are.

The series also has its serious moments, too, of course.  It would have to, after all.  It’s still a romance.

I think my first reaction upon being told that this show was directed by Hideaki Anno (better known as the director of the epic mindscrew that is Neon Genesis Evangelion) was “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING M–wait, no, I see it.  Holy shit, yeah, this makes total sense.”

Anno has this weird duality where he occupies the polar opposites of a spectrum.  On one end, he’s deeply cynical about the way people are, while on the other end intensely hopeful about what they could be.  I didn’t really think about it in those terms for a long time until I saw it articulated somewhere else, and then it made perfect sense, instantly. It also explained why I ultimately liked Neon Genesis Evangelion, despite all its manifold issues: I’m basically the same way.  Anno’s outlook is in at least this respect much the same as mine.  Evangelion spoke to me in a way that I wasn’t used to, and in a way that’s sometimes still difficult to articulate.  Writing this, I start to feel like I should go watch it again.

And so despite perhaps not being the most obvious choice to direct a romance comedy based on a shoujo manga, I honestly feel like Anno was just about the perfect choice, nonetheless.

You see, most romance comedies get it all wrong.

In anime, the typical story goes something like this: You have an aggressively generic, milquetoast Everydude who has few to no discernible personality traits of his own, a smooth lozenge of a person whose inoffensiveness paradoxically makes him more offensive. The sort of character who, when he has any stated personality traits at all, has things like “he’s very loyal to his friends” or “he really cares about his family” or in other words the sorts of things which are true of literally every even-halfway-decent human being on the planet.  In looks, he’s also average.  Maybe kind of generically cute, because the way so much anime is drawn makes even Everydude look sort of attractive, but not really eye-catching.  Dark hair (often in a subdued style), dark eyes, average height – again, no distinctive features.  And he has a crush on this girl...

The girl — let’s call her Goldilocks, for reasons that are probably obvious, but which I’ll get to in a moment anyway, just in case — is going to be a certain Type.  Usually, that’s the girl-next-door type.  Sweet, with maybe some baggage, but ultimately kind and caring and the sort of girl all the guys go for.  She’ll have some sex appeal, but it will be very chastely expressed; she won’t be challenging anyone’s social norms or morals.  She also occupies a kind of middle ground.  This sounds a lot like our Everydude.  But there’s the difference.

Everydude is middle-of-the-road in a way that’s utterly lacking in distinctive features.  It makes him relatable to the male audience, an avatar upon which the average viewer can project themselves with ease and live vicariously.

Goldilocks, on the other hand, is middle-of-the-road in a way that’s meant to be appealing to the male audience.  She typically expresses a kind of ideal of desirability.  Not slutty, but not too chaste; not very tomboyish, but not excessively girly.  Like her namesake, she is just right.

There are other girls who may be interested in Everydude. There’s usually a tomboy, possibly one who is more… accessible, a childhood friend (sometimes Goldilocks is the childhood friend as well, but sometimes not).  One will have a kind of innocent, childlike charm (or will simply be innocent, and childish—or worse, an actual child), one may be older like a cool big sister, one may be shy and standoffish.  But they all, for the most part, have two main characteristics in common:

They make the audience wonder why the hell they find Everydude to be such a catch, and

They all serve to further illustrate that Goldilocks is the sort of Golden Mean among them.

The entire show is based around the struggles of Everydude and Goldilocks getting together.  The whole runtime will be spent with Everydude desperately seeking the courage to confess his feelings to Goldilocks. She’s usually the first girl who’s introduced (so as to spend the most possible time on the show with Everydude agonizing over her). Sometimes she’s oblivious, sometimes she knows, but needs him to make the first move for whatever reason, sometimes there’s interference from a rival love interest, but it always ends the same way, with Everydude making his confession in the end, and the two of them implied to be living happily ever after.

Sometimes this works.  With enough sincerity, and authenticity, and care, and with enough character, these cookie-cutter stories can be pulled off.  A lot of times, though, they feel focus-tested or plotted by committee.  The characters and story don’t go where they naturally would, but instead where the producer(s) think they should.

In shoujo romantic comedies, as near as I can tell, this all plays out in pretty much the same way, only you have Everygirl and Prince Charming instead.  And in my (admittedly limited) experience, the heroines usually have a bit more depth and personality.  Yet in the end, the story structure remains pretty much the same. 

His and Her Circumstances knows better than this.  His and Her Circumstances calls bullshit on the whole premise.

For starters, it throws Everydude and Goldilocks out the window where they belong, and actually has some damn characters.  Our heroine is Yukino Miyazawa, and her love interest is a young boy in her class named Soichiro Arima.  Rather than rely on tried-and-true tropes of the genre, these two are actual individuals.  Miyazawa is a seemingly perfect student: intelligent, good-looking, friendly, and athletic.  

Arima is likewise.  

But all of this is a facade.  In reality, Miyazawa is a praise-obsessed attention-seeker.  All of her positive qualities are a colossal put-on.  At home, she’s content to lounge around in sweats (they’re more comfortable to study in, after all), has no concern for her appearance, and spends all of her free time honing every aspect of her appearance and personality for the best possible presentation.  She doesn’t really have friends, despite being friendly with people in her day-to-day life.  They’d only get in the way of her pursuit of more praise.

Then Arima accidentally uncovers the truth about her.  At first, she dares to hope that he’ll be such a nice guy that he won’t mention it.  But it turns out that, much like Miyazawa herself, his perfect Prince Charming appearance covers up something altogether different.  Less ideal, and more human.

When I was younger, and had no real experience with relationships, the characters in themselves were the main draw for me.  They’re entertaining to watch, and you find yourself rooting for them pretty quickly, and it only gets more fun as the cast grows.  

The thing that occurred to me watching it later in life was that it explores territory most other romantic comedies don’t dare to look at too closely, because it’s uncomfortable and awkward (potentially), but also (again, potentially) fucking hysterical.  Said territory is what happens after the main couple admit that they really are in love with each other.

It turns out that it’s relatively easy to enter into a relationship. Maintaining one is a task that’s infinitely greater, and one that has far more opportunities for trouble—and comedy.

Relationships are work.  And, look, we’re talking about work that is absolutely worth doing.  But that doesn’t change the fact that it is work, a labor of time, communication, and (of course) love.  The opportunity for misunderstandings becomes a source of vastly more comedy than the tired cliché of will-they-won’t-they.  And His and Her Circumstances sets its sights on this territory and dives straight into it.  That, to me, is what makes it so much better than most of the other romantic comedies out there.  Rather than a  romantic comedy about getting into a relationship, His and Hers is a romantic comedy about being in one.  It makes all the difference in the world.

Really, about the only complaint I have with His and Her Circumstances is the way it ends.  Which is really not quite putting it right, because it doesn’t end so much as it just sort of coasts to a gentle stop.  Given the length of the manga, and the fact that it was ongoing at the time, getting all of the story into anime form was probably unlikely at best from the very beginning.  Unfortunately, the manga author apparently had serious problems with the way Hideaki Anno interpreted her material when making the anime, and made enough of a fuss about his presentation of it (he remained faithful to the substance, just showed it in a very different way than the original manga) that he left the project.  I’ve never been entirely clear on whether he stepped down willingly to avoid a scene, or whether he was asked to do so.  

In my own opinion, it was a mistake, however it happened.  Anno’s direction lent the series a distinct identity and “voice” that set it apart.  The series can swerve from madcap insanity to complete seriousness on a dime.  But you can feel the change in direction in the later episodes, which become a bit more… I don’t know if listless is the right word, but I can’t think of a better one.  It just sort of coasts to its end and then that’s it.

Still, it’s the journey far more than the (lack of) destination that really makes His and Her Circumstances. Just talking about it and picking apart what I like about it has made me want to go watch it again.

And maybe Evangelion, too. But that’s a post for another day, if I can ever manage it.

[elhombresiniestro]

I am SO in for this! An episode of A New Wish featuring Gary would be wild! Hazel would be like "Who the heck is that guy?!" and Cosmo and Wanda would be like "Well... it's kina complicated. You see, our last god kid had an imaginary friend he decided to wish to life one day." Then Cosmo would go on rambling and do a little summery on the events of "Imaginary Gary" and "Escape from Unwish Island" and then at the end of his rambling he would say the classic "Good times, gooooood times!" as a throwback to Gary's previous appearances. And this would be the first time Poof/Peri gets to meet Gary since Escape from Unwish Island was before he was born. They would also say "It's been 20 years since we've seen him!" as a reference to the fact that Gary last appeared in FOP almost 20 years ago. So, I think it would be appropriate for an episode like this to air sometime around 2025 since Escape from Unwish Island aired back in 2005, marking the 20th anniversary of that episode. It would be nuts seeing Gary make a comeback after 20 years!

I think it's funny that I've seen both imaginary gary and lezah portrayed as possible anticoswan kids. ANW season 2 but instead of the antifairies actively scheming against the fairies it's just Irep doing the typical thing he does where he goes out and does evil independently but this time the empty nest syndrome becomes so bad that Anti Cosmo and Anti Wanda decide to adopt.

Joking aside though, Imaginary Gary showing up in a new wish could be really neat. And Unlike Lezah, who wasn't a wish to begin with and is more than likely genuinely dead, Gary's still on Unwish Island and hates Timmy. Escape from Unwish Island ended on a somewhat positive note since all the unwished wishes were on the island together and seemed to enjoy it since there were a bunch of Timmy clones they could torment, but its implied that they could escape considering Dark Laser isn't shown to be there in later episodes.

Taking Hocus Poconos into account, some of Timmy's unwished wishes were later moved there instead of Unwished Island. That would leave Gary on unwished Island without any meaningful company besides a bunch of clones of the person that he hates. It'd be a interesting way to bring back Timmy without actually bringing back Timmy. And thinking about the way Hazel and especially Cosmo and Wanda could react to that is so fun.