#he tian looks so happy to just be in mo’s space and exist with him

[ifyoucandaniel]

anyways just tianshan in the new chapter <3 the way he tian didn’t stop holding/touching him the entire chapter and took care of him😭 “he doesn’t feel well” he’s so good to mo i’m upset.

and once again: they’ve come so far bruh. like the casual touches and leaning on each other without mo trying to bite his head off? that’s love your honor

[rigonelli]

Hey! I enjoyed your story with the chicken! I was wondering if you still took writing prompts and if yes if you could write something about the newest update with HT and MGS peeling a mango at the supermarket? Thank you, even if you don't have time to do it :)

He Tian looked over Mo Guan Shan’s shoulders at the mango being sliced by experienced hands.

Damn. It looked so easy when Mo Guan Shan did it. But He Tian had learned his lesson and would never try to help him do his job again. At least not when it came to the truly delicate stuff.

“Container!” Mo Guan Shan ordered, lifting his hand for He Tian to put a container in it.

He Tian gladly obliged, happy to be of help. Besides, he still owed Guan Shan for that one massacred mango. The boss had kept half of Guan Shan’s pay for that, which was just mean. But He Tian had never worked in a supermarket, so he had no idea if that was a normal thing or not. Anyway, from now on, he vowed he wouldn’t be a nuisance anymore. Guan Shan had been pretty upset with him.

“Lid!”

He Tian quickly put a lid in Guan Shan’s hands and watched how he wrapped up the mango so it was ready to be presented in the ‘ready-to-eat’-aisle.

“Mango!”

They worked like a well-oiled machine, He Tian thought, as he put a mango in Guan Shan’s hands. It had been a while since Guan Shan had snapped at him for doing something wrong. Although he was cute when he was annoyed, He Tian had come to appreciate the moments when they were just at peace with each other. Just existing in the same space together, the promise of a touch always hovering within reach. Something to be given willingly, not to be taken.

“Container!”

Wait a minute, He Tian thought, stopping in his tracks.

Had Guan Shan trained him like a dog?

Even now, he couldn’t help but to reach for a container and put it in Guan Shan’s waiting hand.

My God – it was true. He Tian had been… domesticated.

“Lid!”

He Tian watched his own hand reach for the lid and pass it along. How strange. If Guan Shan’s voice had ordered him to strip naked and do a chicken dance on the counter, He Tian would have probably done it.

“Brother Mo,” He Tian murmured against Guan Shan’s nape. It was funny to see the hairs there stand up when he did that. “Do you see me as a dog?”

Now the nape before He Tian’s face started to turn an alarming shade of red. Good thing he hadn’t been cutting a mango, because the lid promptly fell from Guan Shan’s hand.

“How… how did you know?” Guan Shan croaked.

“Wow!”

“It was just that one dog!”

“Huh?”

“It looked just like you!” said Guan Shan, turning to look at He Tian’s face, probably to check if he was mad.

“You saw a dog that looked like me?”

“It was sleeping on the street.”

“Wow,” He Tian said again. “You think of me as some kind of street dog? Even though I’m richer than you?”

“No!” Guan Shan said, turning back to his box of mango, fussing with the lid. “It was… cute.”

“Oh my God – was that the dog you doodle everywhere?”

“MANGO!” Guan Shan said loudly.

A mango appeared in his hand. He Tian blinked – he hadn’t even realized he was putting it there. Maybe Guan Shan should become a dog trainer or something.

They easily fell back into their routine. Maybe some weeks ago, He Tian would have prodded some more, trying his hardest to make Guan Shan blush and shout. But the more time they spent together, the more He Tian realized how nice it felt to have someone open up to him. Especially after how they had met. He had come to care for Guan Shan. Really care for him, not just wanting him.

He had never known that something was missing – at school, everyone loved him. Everyone respected or feared him. Guan Shan had done none of that, which was why he was so intriguing. He had fought He Tian’s advances every step of the way. But it had been worth it – now He Tian had someone by his side who didn’t suck up to him, who was ready to protect him, whom he could send messages to any time of the day, who was there to fill his big, empty apartment. Who wasn’t afraid of the darkness, even after experiencing it all first hand.

Guan Shan had not trained him like a dog, He Tian realized. He had simply made him a better person.

There was only one thing missing.

“Hey, Mo…” He Tian whispered against Guan Shan’s nape again.

“Hm?”

The voice sounded nonchalant, but He Tian could still see the little hairs rise.

“I never apologized.”

“What for?” Guan Shan asked, calmly cutting his mango.

He Tian really wanted to bury his face in Guan Shan’s nape. It was only inches from his nose and his skin smelled nice and warm.

He wondered what had brought this about. It was a fairly normal day, they were doing a fairly normal thing. Just standing there, in the supermarket, cutting up mango after mango. Still, He Tian felt like this was the time – the time to set something straight, something he had carried about with him for a long time.

“Back then… When I kissed you. I didn’t think you’d be so disgusted by it. But I should have known. I should have asked. I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Guan Shan simply stopped moving, knife still stuck in the mango. He Tian wondered what would happen now. They had never talked about it again. It had always been with them – the moment when Guan Shan turned away, disgust clear on his face. It had taken a lot to work past that moment. Or had they never truly worked past it at all?

He Tian was about to find out. Movement came back to Guan Shan – first of all, the skin on his neck reddened again, then the knife fell to the floor, along with the mango. He didn’t seem to care. He turned around to face He Tian, not even slightly taken aback by how close he was standing.

What was he going to say? He had a wild look in his eyes, so he was probably about to shout. He Tian braced for it, but all that happened was that Guan Shan reached for his supermarket cap, grabbed it by the visor, and turned it to the back of his head.

For some reason, that was funny. He Tian wasn’t sure why. Maybe because it reminded him of Ash Ketchum, about to point at He Tian and have his Pikachu shock him to dust.

Instead, Guan Shan leaned forward and kissed him.

It felt similar to being shocked to dust by a Pikachu, only so much better. There were hands on his neck, pulling him closer. He Tian couldn’t remember ever having been so close to any human. It was all he had wanted, all he had craved. Then Guan Shan’s mouth opened up and they were even closer, they were practically one.

He Tian couldn’t speak, once it was over. He could barely breathe. All he could do was look at those dark eyes in front of him and try to come up with words to express what he felt. Do it again. Never stop doing it.

I love you.

“Was that so damn hard, you idiot?” Guan Shan growled, letting go of He Tian’s face. Even though his voice didn’t waver, his red face betrayed him. He was just as shaken as He Tian.

Was this apology all he had been waiting for? He Tian could have kicked himself for not apologizing earlier. He had assumed that never bringing it up again would somehow make Guan Shan forget it. He had assumed that his eye-for-an-eye-style apology would cover it all, but that was stupid, of course. By beating up She Li, He Tian had proved he could protect Guan Shan from other people. But he had never proved that he could protect Guan Shan from himself.

“I’m sor-“ He Tian tried to say again, but a movement from behind Guan Shan caught his eyes and he trailed off.

The boss woman was standing there, and she was looking at the mango, which had rolled to the floor.

“Uhm…”

He had no time to warn Guan Shan – the woman was already screaming.

“GO HOME!” she yelled, making Guan Shan jump to face her. “YOU ARE COMPLETELY USELESS TODAY! I DON’T PAY YOU TO TOSS MY PRECIOUS MANGOES TO THE FLOOR!”

She took a deep breath.

“IN FACT – I WON’T!” she screamed. “NO PAY FOR TODAY!”

“Shit!” Guan Shan moaned under his breath. “Not again!”

The woman took another deep breath, but this time, it suddenly turned her completely calm.

“Other than that,” she said, pointing between the two of them, “Congratulations. He is really quite good looking.”

With that, she trotted away, leaving a completely shocked pair of teenagers and a few startled costumers in her wake.

“You cost me another payday!” Guan Shan scolded, once he gained his wits back.

“Can I pay you back with kisses?” He Tian grinned.

“No!”

“But I’m really quite good looking!”

“Still no,” said Guan Shan. “I got used to it. Besides, you look like a dog, remember?”

“Wow”, said He Tian, a third time. “Must have been a really quite good-looking dog, that one.”

They left the supermarket, bickering like an old married couple. He Tian didn’t even have to ask Guan Shan to come over. That was just normal now. Just like the brush of their hands as they walked side-by-side, just like the light in Guan Shan’s eyes, just as the protectiveness and the honesty and the vulnerability.

The trust, though.

The trust was new.

[escritoraulquii]

How much? (Christmas Special Part II After-Shot)

19 Days | He Tian x Mo GuanShan | M

He knew it was a way to annoy him, but hearing him say it with so much honesty, so terribly sincere, made his chest tighten with the mere thought.

“What are you thinking?”

GuanShan blinked at his expression, still staring at him, starting to feel self-conscious of their position.

“What?” he blurted out, seeing him smile briefly, “Nothing.”

“You were staring at me,” he pointed out, leaning more into his space and his eyes drifting to his lips for a second, “You don’t do that when I’m about to kiss you.”

He blinked again, fighting the urge to glance He Tian’s mouth at the feeling of soft breath against his.

“Were you about to kiss me, asshole?” he asked with no heat behind at all, his voice now a low whisper.

He Tian huffed, closing in a bit more.

“You were almost glaring.” he murmured, bumping his nose with his, “You almost killed me with your eyes.”

“Lucky you I didn't.”

He felt more than saw his lips curl up, closing his eyes at the slight touch against his mouth and sighing through his nose.

“GuanShan…”

He hummed in response, feeling another soft kiss in the corner of his lips and then in his cupid’s bow, the sweet brush urging him to squirm and lean more into his mouth, hearing and feeling him laugh short and breathlessly before kissing him back.

Tian’s hands found place in his hip and lower back, pulling him and hugging him carefully, and GuanShan has to get away for a second, suddenly aware of the cold fingers creeping down his shirt and over his bare skin.

“Hey,” he tries resisting the shiver going up his spine and He Tian just hummed, his lips still occupied in the side of his neck and in his jaw, “Hey, you idiot.”

Tian huffed, almost like a laugh, but splayed his palm over his waist, caressing slowly and tenderly.

“Yeah?”

“You’re cold,” Mo GuanShan commented, flinching at the freezing touch and at the same time blazing up his temperature, “Get off me.”

“I’m trying.”

He wrinkled his nose, pushing him off a few inches.

“You pervert,” he hissed squirming in his hold but with no intention of breaking off his hug.

He Tian laughed out loud at the ceiling, at what Mo GuanShan grumbled.

“What’s wrong with you?”

His laughs stopped slowly, only his breath huffing above them, and then he looked down at him, his eyes half open and his mouth still gasping softly.

“Shan…”

He tried to swallow the knot of anticipation in his throat, tightening his chest in heat and twists, and tried to look displeased, even when his mouth was attempting to mirror Tian’s smile.

“What?”

He Tian blinked, his face tilting to a side and then leaning into his space, not leaving him time to prepare for the deep and slow kiss, opening his mouth at the soft brush of tongue and letting it in with a long sigh, almost a moan.

“Tian…”

He shushed him, kissing him breathless, and he had to grip his shirt, clawing at his back, his ears ringing and his lungs screaming for air.

They suddenly were moving against each other, trying to gain more than give, and Mo GuanShan found himself against Tian’s mattress, losing his head over the kisses left all over his neck and lips.

“Tian,” he repeated, feeling him growl under his ear and going back to kiss him in the mouth, “You’re- What- Wait, the lube-”

“Marry me.”

He froze, his hand halfway to reach for the drawer beside the bed, and He Tian stilled, too, a huff coming out of his mouth and against Mo’s damp skin.

“W-what-”

“I love you,” he said, triggering his heart a second time, even though he wasn’t recovered from the first, “I love you and I want to marry you.”

He felt small. Too vulnerable. But the tremble in Tian’s hold pushed that horrible sensation aside to think about Tian’s feelings.

“What…?” he whispered, almost fearful, and he heard him scoff.

He Tian broke away from the position for a bit, looking down at him, his eyes, always fierce and full of intensity, were soft and fragile. Mo GuanShan had seen them like that before: the first night they spent together, and the first morning they woke up in each other’s arms, and the first night they spent together and didn’t involved both of them groaning and moaning into kisses and caresses.

He wasn’t scared of that look, he just was uncomfortable with the fact that he looked at him exactly the same.

But then, right in that moment, with He Tian over his body, putting out there something so important and controversial that could and would change their lives and relationship forever. Saying things for the first time that didn’t sound mocking or teasing, saying things for the first time and actually meaning them. And it wasn’t like Mo didn’t believed him all those other times, but he didn’t really thought so serious about it.

And now, actually hearing them with no intention to annoy him, made him realize too many things at once. Like the little glance He Tian always fixed him with when they were eating. Like the soft touches that lingered in his body when He Tian woke up before him and spent those minutes worshiping him silently. Like the quiet sigh he let out every time he saw GuanShan smile, even if briefly or mockingly, even if crooked or drunken.

Every single one of those details, every single one of those unspoken words that the other understood easily, every single one of those breaths, stares and touches.

Everything.

“I…”

He Tian looked into his eyes, not wavering, not letting him rest, and his own words halted, making him bit his lower lip.

“How much?” he ended up murmuring, He Tian looking confused for the second he paused, “How much did you spend on the ring?”

Tian huffed, resisting to laugh.

“I…” he started, his smile hesitant, “Is that a yes?”

“I’m asking how much you spent on the ring, you asshole,” Mo scoffed, “If I’m going to have to deal with you for a lifetime, you should propose with something worth it.”

He laughed, breathless and trembling, his nervousness breaking and leaving him with slumped shoulders and softness in his eyes.

“It is,” he answered, his smile tilting and crooking, “I’ll give you the most expensive and beautiful ring that has ever existed.”

He tried to bit off his sudden smile, curving against his will.

“Well,” GuanShan murmured, his eyes not hiding the shine of happiness lighting up his insides, "I do, then.”

[miacutie]

19 days/ Hanahaki Disease

AO3 link

The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from severe one-sided love, where the patient throws up flower petals until they suffocate to death. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated, or to undergo surgery to remove the plant which wipes all memories and feelings for their beloved.

It starts on a Monday.

Jian Yi’s throat has been increasingly scratchy, ever since he saw the love letter tucked in that girl’s palm.

It irritated him a lot, that this random girl would try to make a move on HIS best friend. He coughs a little and considers buying a pack of cough drops from the canteen before he approaches her. Jian Yi gives her the occasional scathing look when she hides behind yet another pillar, like she actually thinks if she can’t see him she’s concealed.

Of course he’s not thinking anything malicious as she gives the seal of her letter a giddy kiss, he was just looking out for his best friend. That was a thing, right?

He manages to corner her, and successfully plucks the letter from her grasp with a bullshit promise. Jian Yi grins, but suddenly is at a loss on what to actually do with it. Burn it? Blow his nose on it?

Zhan Zhengxi gives him a huge reality check later that day, and Jian Yi is suddenly branded as an outsider. A meddler.

His throat tightens, and he quickly dumps the stupid love letter onto Zhan Zhengxi’s desk and hurries out of the classroom. Turbulent feelings are rushing through him, choking him up as he makes the worst realisation he’s had to date.

He was jealous.

But worst of all, he realised that he had feelings for his best friend. Jian Yi should’ve known when he held his hand during that sleepover when he thought Zhan Zhengxi was asleep.

He coughs and a single bright yellow petal falls from his lips onto his palm. Instantly his blood runs cold, and his hand holding the death petal goes clammy.

It could only mean one thing, and he he didn’t want to believe it. He had the Hanahaki disease.

Jian Yi crushes it in his fist.

—-

This can not be happening, he thinks. No way. There had to be some way to reverse this.

Jian Yi purposefully allows himself to be carted off by He Tian, thinking that if maybe he squashed it down and truly repressed it, the plant would die off on its own.

Unfortunately this plan backfires pretty quickly when a shirtless Zhan Zhengxi put his sweaty shirt on top of his head and patted it before he left for the game.

Jian Yi quickly ducks his head and coughs another few petals into his palm.

—

The flowers keep coming every time Zhan Zhengxi does something that makes his heart flutter, which unfortunately was a common occurrence. When Zhan brings out the sparklers on his birthday, Jian Yi weakly thinks ‘Is he actively trying to kill me?’

He wishes on the stars to live to spend his next birthday with Zhan Zhengxi. The sparks illuminate his best friend’s face, giving his features sharp angles bathed in an orange glow.

Zhan won’t tell him what his wish was, but instead presses him with a question.

‘Are you happy?’

‘Of course,’ he lies easily with a smile that looks too forced to be genuine. 'Why wouldn’t I be?’

When Zhan Zhengxi protects him from Mo and promptly gets smashed over the head with a rock, it was like the world was frozen. His blood turns to ice, and he gets tunnel vision as he hears the shouts for someone to call the paramedics. He clings numbly onto Zhan’s unconscious body, and has to be forcefully pried off him when the ambulance arrives. They let him ride in the back, and he tries not to vomit flowers onto his shoelaces.

But by far the worst was when he woke up to the sounds of soft breathing next to him in the hospital bed. During the night Zhan Zhengxi had placed his arm around his waist, so Jian Yi’s head was tucked protectively in the space underneath his chin and his collarbone.

Suddenly he’s hit with a wave of nausea and he leaps off the bed and vomits silently into the hospital toilet. The flowers spin prettily as they are flushed into the void. Zhan Zhengxi is too drugged up from the painkillers to notice.

The nurse is understandably alarmed, and urges him to undergo surgery to remove the plant. But once she mentions that his memories of Zhan Zhengxi would cease to exist, he vehemently buckles down.

'Surely there’s another way.’ Jian Yi insists desperately. 'He’s been my best friend since we were five.’

'I’m sorry,’ she answers, eyes sympathetic. 'It’s either that or he returns your feelings. You only have a week to decide before it suffocates you.’

–

When Zhan Zhengxi snaps off half of his cracker and offers it to Jian Yi, He Tian notices him stiffen. Jian Yi tries to say something but Zhan Zhengxi simply shoves his half into his best friend’s mouth, effectively shutting him up. The dark haired boy notices his face go bright red as he watches Zhan Zhengxi leave to collect his papers.

But what he also catches is Jian Yi coughing up a single delicate flower after swallowing the cracker.

He Tian’s breath hitches in his throat. 'Is that…’

Jian Yi spins around, his expression a deer caught in the headlights.

'You’re dying.’ He Tian states blankly, staring at the flower on his desk.

'I know.’ Jian Yi says, kneading his bottom lip with his teeth.

His classmate’s dark eyebrows furrow. ’…You need to tell Zhan Zhengxi your feelings.’

Jian Yi’s neck snaps back in shock, or more like in acute horror. How did he know-

He Tian looks at him solemnly. ’…Why won’t you tell him?’

Jian Yi’s mouth opens as he’s about to say something, but snaps it shut. His olive eyes swim with a pained emotion, tears pricking in the corner of his eyes.

’…Because I’m scared.’ He takes a deep breath. 'Because I know he doesn’t feel the same.’ Jian Yi feels the flowers rising in his throat like bile, its stalks scratching against his words. 'When he rejects me, I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive it.’

'But why not the surgery?’

'I…I haven’t told my mother yet. She would want to know who it is…and…she won’t react well. The surgery is expensive too, and it’s been difficult since she’s a single parent…she works late you see…’

Excuses, excuses. He’s just bad at letting go- he can’t stand the thought of waking up from surgery, having forgotten who Zhan Xixi is and having their decade of memories together erased. His best friend would be so hurt.

'You still need to do it, if you know he won’t ever love you back.’

Jian Yi closes his eyes. 'I know. But I have time.’

He twirls the yellow flower in the space between his fingers, and plucks a petal off one by one.

He loves me. He loves me not.

— Why did he do this? Why did he kiss him?

Was he so desperate for an answer from his best friend? To hope for him to love him back when he knew it was hopeless?

He has gotten his answer though, in the form of a swift punch and very harsh rejection.

Jian Yi vomits daisies as he runs, not looking as they get trampled underneath pedestrians feet. People turn back to stare in alarm as he pushes past them, cars honk at him as he weaves across the road. His heart is breaking and he can’t breathe, the plant was killing him, suffocating-

'Jian Yi!’

Zhan Zhengxi had followed him. Jian Yi swallows down the petals through sheer willpower, clasping a hand over his mouth as he runs. He can barely see at this point, the rain blinding him as he squashed down his feelings. Jian Yi can hear him calling out his name, but cannot risk responding or slowing down in fear of throwing up again.

The rain is pouring down around them. One thought is clear.

I’m so stupid for thinking I would be understood.

Zhan Zhengxi tackles him to the ground, and demands answers Jian Yi can’t give. He feels hot and cold all over, and cups his hand over his mouth to forcefully quell the flowers forcing itself up his esophagus. Zhan interprets this action as him refusing to talk, and presses again.

Do you like men?

For the first time Jian Yi hopes the Hanahaki disease kills him here, right this second. He didn’t know how he could face him again after this. Unfortunately it doesn’t strike him dead on the spot and instead of flowers, tears roll down his face.

When he gets home, he promptly vomits yellow daisies onto his bedroom floor. This time scarlet drops of blood stain the wood.

–

It’s the next morning, and he’s gotten texts from Zhan Zhengxi to meet up. He’s forgotten he had school, and didn’t know how to decline when Zhan Zhengxi was already waiting at the station. He’s always been bad at turning down his crush’s requests.

To make matters worse, his whole bedroom looks like it’s been raided by a flower shop by a pantless girl on her period.

It’ll be fine, he uneasily reasons to himself. He could get the surgery and forget about this whole thing, right? Cautiously he touches his throat, but it seemed to have subsided. For now.

Slowly he got up and went about his normal routine, watching the petals swirling down the drain as he showered. He thinks of their precious memories spanning a lifetime that he would lose.

A young Zhan Zhengxi, holding his hand as he reassured him about his mother. Zhan Zhengxi from last week, glowing from the orange sparks that lit the starry sky. The feeling of Zhan Zhengxi’s body pressed up against his. His bedhead and sleepy eyes when he woke up next to him in the hospital bed. The softness of Zhan Zhengxi’s lips from the stolen kiss.

He bites his own lip, tears welling in his eyes. I don’t want to forget you, and all the moments we had together. I love you. I love you. I love you…

Would Zhan Zhengxi be okay with being forgotten? After what he did to him last night, perhaps he would be happy about freed from the shackles of having to protect him all the time. Sometimes it felt like his friend barely tolerated him, and only so because of their long history and promises spanning all the way from childhood.

I’m the only one who can’t let go, he realises. A life without Zhan Zhengxi isn’t a life worth living. His best friend was the only reason he had even gotten this far.

Alternatively he wonders how he would react if he did die.

—

Zhan Zhengxi keeps insisting on knowing what he’s thinking.

But he can’t possibly say 'I’m in love with you, and I’m literally dying from it,’ can he?

Jian Yi has been avoiding him all morning after the scuffle with that redhead. He hopes to talk to that nice nurse again, and ask her what she meant about him having a couple weeks when he was already vomiting blood into the toilet.

'You look pale.’ Zhan Zhengxi says, reaching out to tuck a blonde strand from his clammy face. 'I’ll take you to the infirmary.’

Jian Yi steps back like he’s been electrocuted, and swallows down the unholy concoction of blood and flowers as best he can. 'I-I’m fine. I’ll go by myself.’ He’s afraid if he looks at him in the eyes he’ll have to rush to the bathroom again.

So he withdraws, fearful of Zhan Zhengxi finding out his secret. He tries to ignore the hurt expression on his best friend’s face.

I still have time, Jian Yi reasons. He wasn’t ready to let go just yet.

—

He’s run out of time.

Jian Yi had been on his way to the infirmary when he had seen the crowd surrounding a pink love letter plastered over the bulletin board.

He thought he at least another week to make his decision, or at least mentally prepare himself for the surgery. What he had failed to account for was the accelerated rate of the plant from the failed kiss attempt the night before and that girl.

Abnormal. Abnormal. Abnormal. Disgusting. Disgusting gay- The sound of her screaming in fear, white hot rage and pain piercing his knuckles, and finally Zhan Zhengxi witnessing just how terrible of a human being he really was.

I’m sorry, Zhan Xixi. I’m not the person you thought I was. I’m sorry I can’t be happy for you.

He tears his arm from Zhan’s grip, breaking into a run as he feels the flowers and the metallic tang of blood rise up in his throat. Jian Yi doesn’t look back, knowing Zhan Zhengxi would stay behind to comfort the black haired girl sobbing amongst her confession letters for his best friend. She still had a chance- if Zhan Zhengxi accepted her feelings at least one of them would survive.

— Jian Yi finds himself curled up next to the toilet bowl in the boys bathroom. He can hear the tap running, overflowing the sink in which he had unintentionally blocked the drainage with flowers.

Yellow petals float on the surface of the water above the cold tiles, the red blooms of blood mixing in with the water beginning to flood the bathroom. He must’ve vomited his body weight in flowers by now. Jian Yi’s eyes flutter as he drifts in and out of consciousness.

I waited too long, he thinks. He had reached the last stage. Jian Yi can see his reflection in the water, his skin startlingly ashen as the grey colour of his hair. He would forget Zhan Zhengxi, and this world, and soon enough death would come. Oddly enough, the thought didn’t scare him anymore. If there was one person on this earth worth dying for, it would be Zhan Xixi.

Suddenly he hears the door squeak open, and the sound of splashes mixed with the sound of someone cursing as the taps are turned off.

'Jian Yi! Are you here?!’ The voice sounds frantic, and he barely registers it as someone scoops his limp body up from the cold water. 'Fuck! Jian Yi, wake up!’ It says, more forcefully. 'Jian Yi!’

Jian Yi manages to crack his eyes open to see his own reflection in Zhan Zhengxi’s eyes.

’…Xi?’ He mumbles, as he recognises his best friend’s face swimming in and out of focus.

'You’re vomiting flowers?! Why didn’t you tell me you had Hanahaki disease?’ Zhan Zhengxi grits out, his firm hands shaking. 'There’s blood everywhere-I-I could’ve helped you.’ He shakes his head, realising his attempts to berate him as wasting time. 'We need to get you to the hospital-’

Jian Yi tangles his hand together with Zhan Zhengxi’s. 'It’s okay.’ He sighs, as Zhan clenches his hand. 'It’s- it’s probably too late for surgery…’ He knew he probably only had a few minutes at best the way he could feel his heartbeat slowing down.

He hears Zhan Zhengxi start to sob, tears dripping onto their clasped hands. His sky blue eyes are raining, he realises.

'Zhan Xixi…don’t cry…’ Jian Yi says weakly. Zhan Zhengxi furiously scrubs his face with his sleeve.

'Hey…thank you for staying with an abnormal guy like me…’ Jian Yi swallows. 'I’m sorry for being so stupid…’

Zhan Zhengxi shakes his head forcefully. 'No, you stop that. You’re not abnormal.’

'Thanks,’ Jian Yi lets out a breathy laugh, and then coughs out another flower stained with blood. He decides to say what’s been on his mind the past week. 'I love you.’ Jian Yi whispers.

Zhan Zhengxi’s eyes go wide at his best friend’s confession.

'I’m sorry for being so selfish…I didn’t want to forget you, or the memories we shared…so I ended up waiting too long.’ He rasps, coughing up more bloodied daisies. 'Can you…just stay here? I don’t want to be alone…’

Suddenly he feels something warm and wet press against his lips, and his eyes snap back open.

'Zhan Xixi…?’

'Don’t leave me…’ He chokes out. 'Jian Yi…I..’ He grips tighter onto his hand. 'I love you. Please don’t go.’

Disbelief paints Jian Yi’s features. 'Xi? What are you- it’s no use, lying won’t do anything-’

'I’m not lying!’ Zhan Zhengxi bursts out. 'What happened last night, I thought you were doing it to embarrass me in front of my sister. I didn’t know you meant it since you told me to forget what happened.’

Jian Yi is at a loss for words.

'I love you, Jian Yi. I’m sorry I took so long.’

Jian Yi feels choked up, but for a different reason this time. He gently pulls down Zhan’s head but before he can kiss him, the nausea returns and he turns away to cough into his palm.

He coughs up another flower. Instead of bright yellow, it’s a faded grey, and crumbles in his hand.

Zhan Zhengxi looks at him in alarm, but Jian Yi laughs, almost giddy.

The fuzziness in his head begins to clear, and he feels like he can see, hear, breathe again.

'Zhan Xixi!’ He exclaims. 'It’s-it’s dying! The plant-’

Zhan Zhengxi suddenly envelops him into a bone crushing hug.

'Don’t ever do that to me again!’ He gasps, and Jian Yi blinks at the sudden movement. 'God, I was so scared.’

'It’s okay now, Xixi.’ Jian Yi says softly, and this time he means it.

–

Things don’t change much, except now they kiss a lot more. To his surprise, Zhan actually initiates most of them. Jian Yi memorises each and every sensation as they kiss, and often he smiles into it because he can’t believe how unbelievably lucky he is.

They hold hands when they walk to and from school, and Zhan accepts his jump hugs instead of pushing him off. From what he hears, Xiao Hui undergoes surgery and now doesn’t spare Zhan a glance as she walks down the hallways. When they go back to the hospital to get Zhan Zhengxi’s bandages off, Jian Yi goes to talk to the nurse.

She smiles at him, and it’s genuine. 'I’m glad. I was worried for you when you refused to get the surgery. But this kind of ending is always the best.’ She gives him a hug, and Zhan shoots daggers at her with his eyes. The nurse suppresses a chuckle. 'Looks like he loves you a whole lot.’

Jian Yi smiles back. 'He really does.’

They’re playing games in Zhan’s living room when he stops to turn towards his boyfriend.

'Are you happy?’ Zhan Zhengxi asks. He’s never told Jian Yi, but that’s what he wished for on the stars that night. For Jian Yi’s happiness.

Jian Yi shoots him a genuine grin, and kisses him lightly on the forehead.

'The happiest!’