#he that he still owns a container of tea for when Martin comes over tho
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Iâm a hardcore Jon-is-wretched-at-making-tea truther
A couple of drawings for @jonmartinweek day 4, Tea As Love Language | Beyond the Grave
Description in the alt text of each respective drawing!
#he that he still owns a container of tea for when Martin comes over tho#if they arenât already living together here#also ignore the messiness#I was very occupied today#jonmartinweek 2024#the magnus institute#tma#tma Jon#tma martin#teaholding#jonmartin#jmart#tma fluff#tma spoilers???
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there isn't enough nonbinary jon sims content, here is... well i started writing this as headcanons but this is really a not!fic about nonbinary jon sims. itâs 3â˛300 words
it contains: nonbinary trans masc autistic jon, jongeorgie, lesbian georgie, trans guy martin & tim, trans woman sasha, team archives trans solidarity, and not-insignificant amount of internalised transphobia and references to misgendering & general cis people bullshit
(also ftr i am heavily basing jon's experiences here as a nonbinary autistic person on my own experiences as a nonbinary autistic person) (this is like 80% projection) (what else is fandom for!)
also on AO3 if you prefer your 3k of bullet points to have better spacing
tiny baby [jon] who knows she isn't very good at being a girl but doesn't have the words to articulate why
her grandmother thinks kids clothes should be durable and practical so even tho jon is not a kid who climbs trees or plays football, her wardrobe is exclusively straight jeans & 'boys' t-shirts & large jumpers
she keeps her hair roughly shoulder length because that's the length it's always been but strangers still 'mistake' her for a boy a lot. this makes her feel a way she again hasn't got the words for
when she starts secondary school she continues to dress 'masc', never starts wearing makeup, never gets any interest in dating, generally fills out the checklist for everyone else assuming she's a lesbian
she knows she's definitely not a straight girl, so she shrugs and decides sure, she's a lesbian. it's a moot point, mostly, seeing as even if she did have any interest in dating she's the only gay person her age she knows
but she does get involved in some community support stuff â she spends a lot of time in the library as a teenager, and one of the librarians is a lesbian who takes jon under her wing a bit
coffee mornings and book clubs and things like that. sixteen year old jon and a dozen queer women all in their late twenties at the youngest. they joke a lot how often they forget jon isn't also a thirty-something
(this is that autism feel of having no interest in your peers but getting on great with adults)
and then she goes to uni, and then she meets georgie
georgie is a Very Out lesbian. she goes to clubs, she's heavily involved in the lgbt society, she has a rainbow flag hanging in her bedroom window. yknow.
jon likes her a lot, and still isn't really sure if it's romantic or not, but assumes that's more due to being gay than anything else
(no one has told jon about asexuality yet)
so when, one night when they're meant to be studying in georgie's room but instead are mostly drinking shit cheap wine and complaining about their professors, georgie looks at jon with this soft look on her face and asks to kiss her, jon says yes
and then they date
they're both living in one of those massive student houses with a thousand bedrooms crammed everywhere and only a kitchen for a communal space. georgie has lived there since coming back to finish first year, and jon moved in halfway through second year after a somewhat disastrous flatmate situation
so after they graduate, moving in together seems like the natural progression of things even tho theyâve only been dating for two months
jon is still, when asked, identifying as a lesbian and using she/her, but is also still dressing what other people now call butch. she always feels kind of weird about that term, but again, just chalks it up to the mess of complicated feelings being a gnc lesbian does genuinely involve
and then, finally, jon meets some actual trans people
jon has, circumstantially, known trans people. thanks to georgie, jon goes to a lot of lgbt soc things, and is passingly familiar with most of the lgbt people on their campus
but thereâs a big difference between nodding at someone when you see them in the library and having an actual, proper conversation about gender
so, jon goes to a lot of social events because georgie does. without georgie, jon would probably not leave the house except to go to work and to the library (jon is not doing postgrad. jonâs library habits do not particularly reflect this)
mostly at these events, jon sits in the corner and reads, and only talks to other quiet antisocial people, while georgie circles back periodically to report on her social butterfly escapades
and at one, one of the other quiet antisocial people is a trans guy
heâs called harry, and he asks about the book jon is reading, and after theyâve been talking a while he says, âsorry, you probably get this a lot, but what pronouns do you use?â
jon just blinks at him and says âwhatâ
âwell, iâm trans, so iâm always really cautious about assuming,â harry says, easily, and this does not answer the question jon was asking
jon.exe has crashed
she(?) eventually says, âuh. she? iâve neverâ sheâ
and harry, who has spent the last forty minutes discussing dante with jon and is already sure theyâre going to be friends, says âwant the trans 101? youâre making a face like you need itâ
three hours later georgie finally reappears with the intent to actually interrupt (sheâs drifted past periodically, but jon was always deep in conversation with harry, so she left them alone) and get going, and jon gets harryâs email address and is then very quiet as they walk arm-in-arm back to their house
just as they turn onto their street, jon says, âi, ah. i think i might be trans?â
georgie, who has for the past couple months been having something of a crisis after realising she definitely loves jon but she isnât in love and she canât figure out why, says âoh thank godâ
jon, very bemused, âthat wasnât the reaction i was expectingâ
âi think we should break up,â georgie replies, and jon stops walking. theyâre four feet from their front door, but itâs late, no oneâs about, so georgie decides sure, they can have this conversation in the street
âyouâ because iâm trans?â
âi love you, i really do,â georgie steps closer, takes jonâs hands in hers, âbut iâm not in love with you. and it was driving me crazy trying to figure out why, but if youâre not a girlââ
âi canât tell if i should be offended by this or not,â jon says, somewhat dazed, âiâve been trans for an hour, georgie, i donât know if this is transphobic yetâ
georgie laughs, and presses a kiss to jonâs cheek, and says âitâs nearly midnight, we both have work tomorrow, letâs table this for later. we can look up names and what word i should use when i complain to other people how you always leave your shoes in the middle of the floor when we arenât both on the verge of passing outâ
and that sounds reasonable, so jon nods, and kisses georgie on the mouth, and then they go inside
the next day jon stops by the library on the way home from work and checks out almost every baby names book they have. georgie comes home and heâs sat at the kitchen table making a spreadsheet
âyou donât have to make it this complicated, you know,â she says, hooking her chin over his shoulder to read what heâs already got. the spreadsheet has a lot of columns.
âitâs my name,â he retorts, and she hums agreeably, then points to âjonathanâ, which has relatively few ticks in any pro columns (god, this nerd), and says, âisnât that your grandfatherâs name?â
it is. he doesnât talk about his grandfather a lot â doesnât talk about his family a lot full stop, but she knows, even though he died when jon was still a toddler, the stories his grandmother told had a significant impact
âmy parents didnât name me after anyone,â jon says, quietly
georgie nods. she doesnât say theyâre not here now to offer an opinion, because thatâs far harsher than jon deserves to hear, and itâs not like she ever needs to remind him of it either. heâs definitely already beating himself up for taking so long to come to this realisation thereâs no one left around to tell him how theyâd have reacted
âi think it suits you,â she says instead, and jon nods, and then she moves away to make a pot of tea and some pasta (itâs technically jonâs night to cook, but she was anticipating coming home to find him already hyperfocused beyond the point of no return)
a week later, jon looks up from the spreadsheet to where georgie is curled up on the sofa reading and says âugh, fine, you win, you were rightâ
(georgie hadnât pressed her point any further, jon is just like that)
âjon?â she asks, and he makes an exasperated noise and nods, then closes his laptop dramatically and stands. most of his spine pops when he stretches
âthis calls for celebrationâ georgie says, also standing, âfrancoâs or monsoon?â
âfrancoâs. iâm going to eat a pizza the size of a carâ
so then jon is actually going by jon, and using he/him, and isnât dating georgie anymore but is still living with her and spending most of his time with her and factoring her into all his major decisions
he talks to harry, and other (binary) trans people, and reads a lot of blogs, and after a few months gets a referral to charing cross gic
by the time he starts at the magnus institute, heâs had top surgery and has been on T for years, and passes as cis completely, and he doesnât know how to articulate it but this is. bothering him.
heâs not exactly⌠he likes being stealth, he doesnât need to flaunt his personal life. he can understand the impulse, but he doesnât share it. his feelings about gender and romance are no oneâs business but his own
but. everyone assuming he was a girl itched â being miss simms, georgieâs girlfriend, she, it felt like wearing a coarse knitted jumper. it was exhausting
and, for a while, everyone assuming he was a man was a relief. it didnât make his skin crawl, it didnât make him want to scream, it was nice. it felt good.
it didnât feel right. but it didnât feel bad, either, and jon has never been gendered in a way that felt right. he thought that was just part of being trans
except. he moves to london, and he starts at the magnus institute, and he wears shirts and slacks, and the long skirts and patterned dresses some of his colleagues wear keep catching his eye the way men in three-piece suits used to, and that terrifies him
he was lucky, in a way, having no family left to care when he transitioned â if anyone reacted negatively, he could just cut them out of his life, and his social circle was already queer enough that was hardly necessary
but that doesnât mean he escaped internalising a whole swathe of shit about what being trans should mean and how he should act and what he should want and if he wants to wear skirts then is he even a man? was he making it up all along after all?
naturally, he deals with this by ignoring it. heâs a man, men donât wear skirts, he doesnât wear skirts, thatâs that.
he manages to keep that up until heâs made head archivist, and heâs given three assistants who are all also trans
(he doesnât know if elias did it on purpose. elias knows heâs trans, of course, because heâs never bothered to get the name on his diploma changed, but the way elias reacted lead jon to assume elias may also be trans. and if thatâs true, then selecting only trans people for the archives staff feels like a kindness more than anything)
and, the thing about them all being trans, is even if jon and martin are both rather fond of being stealth, and sasha and tim arenât used to being out at work, and none of them are exactly friends, theyâre the only people who ever come in the archives, so the archives very quickly becomes the Safe Trans Zone
they all vent a lot about cis people. sasha will walk in and the first words out her mouth will be âthe next person to ask me if iâd had the surgery is getting their own surgery when i cut their tongues outâ, and tim will make a commiserating noise and offer her the pack of donuts martin brought in
so when, on one of the rare afternoons when jon leaves his office to lean against timâs desk and brainstorm organisational system ideas, martin walks back from the break room upstairs with a scowl and says, bitterly, as he sits back down, âoh so when cis guys wear nail polish itâs inspiring and breaking down gender roles but when i wear nail polish, jenny from HR gets to side eye me and ask if that means i changed my mind, because surely iâm the one whoâll do that and not all the men who didnât have to do hours of therapy to establish they are definitely, one hundred percent for sure a guy!â
tim and sasha both make the standard commiseration noises, and sasha says something about the supervisor at her last job trying to say it wasnât appropriate for her to wear trousers, and jon stops listening and runs away moves back to his office
he hadnât noticed martin is wearing nail polish, is the thing. or, he had noticed it, but he hadnât thought about it, and now heâs thinking about it. heâs thinking about it a lot
martin hadâ martin is a guy. martin is definitely a guy, if something of a feminine-leaning gay guy, the kind of feminine-leaning no one ever questions in cis guys, and it hadnât occurred to jon to question martin, either, even though heâs trans, and. and.
heâs still circling round a revelation he canât quite make himself have an hour or so later, when martin sticks his head round the door
âyou, uh. you alright?â martin asks, incredibly tentatively. it says a lot, jon thinks, about how nice martin is, that heâs asking even though thereâs a 90% chance jon will tell him to fuck off âyou kind of disappeared abruptly, earlier. i didnât upset you, did i?â
jon stares at him for a long moment, then says, âcan i see your nail polish?â
âoh!â martinâs cheeks flush, just slightly, as he steps inside the office and lets the door shut behind him âuh, yeah, of course. itâs a little chipped, now, but, yeahâ
martinâs nail polish is a light, pastel blue. itâs neat, and even, though his nails arenât that long, and jon thinks he remembers martin saying something about mostly painting his nails to try and get himself to stop biting them. jonâs never really gone for nail polish, but itâs. nice.
âitâs, uh. itâs a good colour, on you,â he says awkwardly. martin flushes even more
âoh, um, thanks? didâ are you alright?â
if jon was a different kind of person, this is where heâd open up to martin, and this would be the beginning of them becoming actual friends
jon is jon, though, so he just shoves all his emotions back in the box they escaped from, nods, and says âi didnât sleep that well, is all. not really up to socialisingâ
(an aside about s1 jonmartin dynamic: jon is very good at shittalking martin when martin isnât around, but in the face of martinâs genuine care and concern, he defaults back to a far more friendlier tone than heâs aiming for. he knows, on a level, that he and martin could be good friends if he ever got his shit together, but that is something else heâs currently repressing. he doesnât need friends! he isnât desperate for social contact at all! whatâs loneliness!)
martin says âah, okay, iâll justâ iâll leave you alone, thenâ, and then jon makes himself focus on work, and then when he gets home he opens the group chat heâs still, thankfully, in with the trans people who got him through his first gender crisis and sends âhelp i donât know if iâm a guy after allâ
three people immediately send back a link to nonbinary.org
and thatâs the rest of jonâs evening
he reads through every article. he reads several articles multiple times. he opens several new tabs, and gets a notepad to make a list of books, and eventually remembers to reply in the group chat
a week later, he bites the bullet and writes an email to georgie
nothing long, just, they still tell each other about big life events
and then, another couple weeks after that, when martin brings him tea, he says, âah, martin, could iâ do you have a moment?â
âof course,â martin says, and lets the door swing closed again, âwhat do you need?â
âi, ah. this isnât very professional, so, you donâtâ you are perfectly welcome to say no, of course, but i. um. would youâ come clothes shopping with me?â
(ideally, jon would have asked georgie, but as much as he loves her (still), they havenât talked properly in years, and she is cis. the best cis person he knows, but still a cis person. and heâd just, rather have a trans person, for emotional support, and no one in the group chat lives particularly nearby anymore) (or, well, some of them are, but when he asked they all told him to get over himself and ask one of his âlovelyâ coworkers)
(why does he ask martin and not sasha?) (well, dear reader, he is nursing the beginnings of a crush) (not that he knows it. but thatâs absolutely whatâs happening here. martin is sweet and lovely and jon definitely finds him annoying and overbearing. yes. nothing else. no other emotions.) (his chest feels all weird when martin smiles because he doesnât like him. that always happens around people he dislikes.)
âoh!â martin says, surprised. âuh, yes, of course, isâ is there an event or somethingâŚ?â
jon takes a moment to stare at the wall above martinâs head before he makes himself say, âi. am non-binary, and i needâ different clothes.â
âoh, god, have we beenââ
âno, no, this is a, a very recent development. he is still fine,â jon says, quickly, then pauses, then adds, more haltingly, âi think. i might, if â they, as well, maybe? just, to seeâ
âof course. dâyou want me to tell tim and sasha?â
martin, jon thinks, is maybe not all that bad âyes, pleaseâ
âcool,â martin smiles, âiâm free this weekend? for shopping?â
âthis saturday would be good, yesâ
and then jon and martin go shopping! itâs probably not that successful of a shopping trip, because it takes jon like four shops before they admit what exactly it is theyâre looking for, but they go to several charity shops and have fun trying to one-up each other with the most ridiculous/inexplicable item of clothing, and at the end of the day jon has three skirts (a knee-length black a-line skirt, a full-length black skirt, and a full-length black skirt patterned with red flowers), two necklaces, and a skater dress they probably canât get away with wearing to work, but they really liked the way the skirt moved when they spun
other things that happen include lunch at a cafe where the staff definitely think theyâre on a date and only martin notices and also martin is dying, both of them only managing to walk past a secondhand bookshop twice before they cave and go inside, and then emerge half an hour later both holding three books (two poetry anthologies and a sci fi novel; a psychology book and two history books), and martin somehow talking jon into trying on skinny jeans and then, again, leaving this mortal coil
jon doesnât buy the skinny jeans, which is for the best really
the first time jon wears one of the skirts to work, sasha does a victory lap around the archives because âhell yes skirts are so much more comfortable, and now you swish! tim you should get a skirt. skirts for archives uniformâ
and jon is still a prickly antisocial bastard but now heâs an outly nonbinary prickly antisocial bastard, and sometimes they walk into the archives at 2PM smelling of tobacco and holding a bottle of vodka, and then the archives staff all do shots and dramatic readings of the most ridiculous fake statements, because sometimes thatâs how you cope with cis people, and thatâs! valid!
#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#georgie barker#martin blackwood#jongeorgie#yelling at clouds#fic tag#draw jon sims in skirts. thank you.
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