#he tells me theres no way im not a romantic with the things i say to him
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horrorwebs · 1 year ago
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why are men literally the fucking worst
#theres a guy in one of my uni friend groups who has a crush on my friend also from the friend group#and she feels so so uncomfortable plus she hasnt done ANYTHING thatd give a hint that she likes him back. bc she doesnt#and now she doesnt feel ok around because hes so attached to her and so so needy and its like. well. way to fuck it up dude. fuck you#he has been acting so strange lately and not in a good way. strange awkward and needy and like. possesive.#her and i also have another friendgroup where frankly i feel much better with and she does too. and its like. well the guy is always like#butting in but now really being part of anything? like its not like he comes over to the grouo to be with all of us hes just sort of . there#talking only to her or sometimes me but its like not nice its weird and annoying#ALSO HES SO PATRONIZING TOWARDS HER ITS AWFUL#AND hes like. a bit older.... where its not like. the weirdest age gap i dont think so. but it IS a bit weird considering some of the things#he has said. like the other day he made a comment about how my friend 'well shes so young like people her age sometimes dont get [x]' like?#if you think she is SOOO young and SOOO out of touch with people your age well why the fuck are you asking others if you have a chance w her#get away from her really#sidenote: today she was telling me and a different friend about this problem and my other friend said it was really uncomfortable and bad +#that he used to think the guy had a thing for ME BEFORE??? and i dont know if he also thought -i- had a thing for him but please god no.#even the hypothetical made me feel super uncomfortable. also i used to feel like that a bit like he might like me and it was bad and gross#so i dropped a comment that let him believe i was a lesbian i think? also got much colder towards him . like. thats what you get fucker#about the lesbian thing i meant that he told me about a friend of his that had it hard coming out as a lesbian and i said like oh yeah being#like that was hard for me also. finding out i was not straight was tough etc .#dont remember if i said the word lesbian i dont think so but i did say i like girls and i didnt mention boys at all so i hoped itd be enough#also people dont really -get- what being asexuas means + didnt want to tell him im ace + techically i Can like boys bc romantic attraction#is undefined to me but i was definetely not going to tell him that bc 1. im much more prone to like a girl and 2. not trying to get his hope#up.#so anyway it was gross to realize other people saw it too so i mightve actually not been insane to think he had a crush on me but it was bad#and also. i really need for my friend to be comfortable in class so i might have to kill him who knows. well see#spikeposting#personal
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capaldiera · 10 months ago
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man idgaf about what treville and richelieu have going on (mostly nothing) (they dont like each other but they work together a lot bc of their jobs.) (i guess treville holding onto a sense of honour whilst working with the cardinal is interesting but like that's not. thats not really those two having something interesting going on). lets talk about the king and the cardinal man.
#the way the king sometimes resents the cardinal's influence but is so easily manipulated to feel lost without it.#the fact that he'll openly acknowledge the cardinal wants him to rule unfairly and play favourites. with a fond look on his face#''i will disband their whole regiment if that's what it takes to make you happy. only please don't leave me alone'' with tears in his eyes#all of which was exactly what the cardinal was going for and he just gets away with it!#the queen finds out he was trying to have her Killed and she says yeah fuck you obvi but i wont tell the king tho bc he loves you ?#i'm not saying any of this is like romantic to be clear lol. it's just very interesting#i mean i dont think it can probably be categorised really. but im definitely not calling it that#it is super interesting though the way the cardinal needs to undermine the queen and place himself closer to the king to succeed in his aim#it would be somewhat appropriate for sure to say its kind of a parent-child relationship in some ways but that's definitely not all of it#in terms of the way the king relies on him and his guidance. but again thats not all of it and he's not a child. or not actually a child.#and i could say this about any of the relationships between men on the show but of course Because they're both men that means the#Possibility of it being anything but fully platonic is not something he can acknowledge and for that reason whether it is or Not there's#still going to be a level of repression and denial that just complicates things. even though/if theres not truly anything to deny#meanwhile honestly i think the cardinal is personally being normal about it even tho he's a freak about a lot of other things#i mean idk that was my impression. i am sorta-watching through s1 again so maybe i'll develop my ideas on that#anyway#me.txt#musketeers posting
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the plot has been thickening too much lately. yeah it's too thick now. we should add some water maybe. thinnen that thick ass plot.
#one of her friends who she talked to after i asked her to prom#sits next to my two best friends in physics#and today he was like 'haha so yall found out who ruby likes then'#and they got to talking abt it and they told him how were just going as friends and he was apparently shocked bc of how she reacted#after i asked like what she said to him after#he thinks shes into me and i have no idea what to think bc the reasons we arent going as dates have nothing to do with me#but idk if theres a secret third thing 'im also not into u like that'#he seems to be convinced otherwise#im back at square one! i have no idea how she feels! except at least she liked me enough in general to be absolutely thrilled to go to prom#with me. god bless#im still overwraught with joy at that either way mind you. especially with all that our mutual friend says about what she said to him#but you see how the plot is too thick#i feel like its wrong of me to still be worried abt her feelings abt me when she clearly said with valid reasoning that she doesnt wanna#date or be dates to prom and just go as friends#but i cant help wondering bc if she wants to be with me but feels she cant for whatever reason i dont want her to feel that way#but i feel like this sounds like i dont respect her decision! i do!! and it seems ungrateful!!!! god the fact that she knows i love her-#and i told her i really like her but she must be able to tell i love her-#she knows i love her and she still cares about me. enough to be thrilled and happy about going to prom with me! and if its that she just#doesnt have romantic feelings for me thats OKAY i am blessed enough that shes in my life. that she WANTS TO BE IN MY LIFE.#and if its that she does but she doesnt want to act on them for reasons beyond me thats also OKAY i would wait a thousand years for her if#its what would make her comfortable and happy#just knowing she knows i love her and she still likes me is enough no matter what else but#its the not knowing thats killing me#its killing me. but i am so full of joy this whole day i have been full with it#my friends are proud of me i feel brave and fulfilled#i pass faces of people who know us both in the halls and i know they all know i love her#and i havent seen her since i asked nor spoken since she clarified over snapchat#tomorrow i will though. and i have no idea how things will be.#i feel like im going crazy but by god its wonderful
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messyo5 · 9 days ago
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I've never been a romantic. I've never been irrational. I've never believed in love at first sight. I've always remembered the chemicals and understood the prince was simply a glorified owner not a partner.
But oh the way he holds me makes me feel tones of peach and gold and trust like steel and faith like St.Peter.
I always remember the late night conversations with the women I trust. The fearful women that care. Hushed tones warn of collars and kitchen tables and bedposts and society.
But when I hear him laugh over the phone it strips me down to a little girl that believed in the best in everyone. She at her core was a hopeless romantic.
"You're a smart girl." "You do not suffer fools." "You are strong girl. Good." "You will never need anyone but yourself." "Strong independent young woman." "Smart Girl." These I've been told. These I wear like a badge of honor.
But his hand on the column of my spine and I crumble. Not from my strength. More so a bend into him. The support he lends me, the strength is not just mine for once but his too.
The care I have scares me. It's against everything I've ever known. But I suppose that's why it's called feelings, it's as simple as that. You don't know you just feel. I've never felt more safe and right in something so with which I am to be so so so weak.
This love unwraps me and my armor like a clementine to a sweet simple center. No seeds of doubt, nothing but the buttery sugary romantic I think I was born as rather than what I was made into.
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moonlit-imagines · 6 months ago
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Headcanons for dating Johnny Lawrence
Johnny Lawrence x reader
warnings: towards the end theres degenerate!johnny mentions (the WORST most funny way to put it but him being an alcoholic and such) (that is NOT funny dont be an alcoholic)
a/n: i been looking at young william zabka edits for an hour brain go brrr. also yes i already have hcs for this so these are NOT part 2 they are a different au after the all valley 🙏. this has been the MOST INSPIRING fic i have written in months im literally in love with him
prompt:
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after the all-valley and cobra kai, johnny felt like he’d lost everything
then he found you
you had just barely known each other, growing up in the same vicinity but never really saying a word to each other
until one day at encino oaks, johnny spotted you sunbathing on an unusually warm day and took a chance
“y/n, right?” -johnny, sitting on the pool chair next to you
“that’s right” -you, tilting your sunglasses down
“i’m johnny. we, uh, we go to west valley together”
“yeah, i’ve heard of you” -you
his stomach sank (he’s got a bad track record)
“yeah, that’s unfortunate.” -johnny, getting up to leave and pausing “would you be interested in jumping in the pool with me?”
you stared at him for a few seconds (cuz you could tell he wasn’t too confident) and got up, actually jumping in the pool in a full cannonball
his spirits were lifted and he jumped in right after you
“that was awesome!” -johnny
you two swam around splashing and annoying the older club members, but it was no matter
you ended up sitting on the pool ledge talking and getting to know each other
“oh, no, i don’t really keep up with local karate tournaments. i hadn’t heard” -you
“that’s perfect for me, then” -johnny
you gave him your number and said you’d see him at school monday
and that you did
“is that him? he’s cute! maybe he’ll start driving you to school. or you could get your license” -your mom, dropping you off
“mom!” -you “he does seem pretty sweet. i think he found me at the perfect time, too. got knocked down a peg or two from some karate tournament”
he brought you a little box of chocolates to give to you before class THAT VERY MONDAY (he was moving fast)
he was also very desperate for a prom date for senior prom but that was beside the point
you played a little hard to get
but johnny finally found a reason to fight again and he wanted to fight for you
“could i take you on a date this weekend? do you prefer something fancy like a nice restaurant or casual like golf n stuff or romantic like the beach?” -johnny
“why dont you just plan it and i’ll be ready. just tell me what i should wear” -you, kissing him on the cheek
he always felt so cool and confident but you had him flustered and about to buckle at the knees
he decided to keep it casual for now because you seemed so “go with the flow” and there were so many things to do, so many distractions to keep him from doing something stupid
and of course he picked you up because you still didn’t have your license yes
“come on, i’ll teach you how to drive” -johnny
“noooo thank you, i am not driving your car” -you
you drove it one block and he understood why you didn’t have your license
johnny paid for all your tokens and you guys had a blast competing in games and ended up with a pretty decent pile of tickets
“ooh, competitive!” -you
“i have no idea what you’re talking about” -johnny
daniel was actually at golf n stuff that night with ali but johnny didn’t even care he was so infatuated with you
he bought you some nachos for a snack, which he snuck a few bites in shamelessly
you still haven’t kissed at this point but he was waiting for the perfect moment
you made sure to touch his arms and keep close and flirt, sending all the right signals
he seemed like such a go-getter, you were getting impatient
and finally, he took you to the ferris wheel and made it all cliche and special wrapping his arm around your shoulders and waiting until you two were at the top of the wheel to place a hand on your cheek and kiss you gently
(gentle went away fast you had been waiting for this for a whole WEEK and thats a lifetime for a teenager)
he was giddy for the rest of the night and all he’d gotten was a quick makeout session
he ended up pooling all your tickets together for a stuffed animal of your choice
it couldn’t have been a better first date honestly
and soon enough he was driving you to school, walking you to class, bringing you little gifts, getting you into trouble, listening to music with you, sneaking out with you, just doing everything with and for you
and the promposal was very cute classic (a sign and some flowers, he wasn’t all too creative)
and when prom came around, you two stood out! you both looked stunning and styling, everyoneeee was jealous
“johnny looks happy” -daniel
“poor y/n’s just gonna get their heart broken” -ali
prom court?? no actually lol but keep dreaming
“you’re the prom [king/queen] in my heart” -johnny
“if you hand me a plastic crown im gonna hit you” -you
johnny took it out anyway and you both started cackling bc it was so silly
he just wanted you to feel special (you had no part in prom court at all actually there was no disappointment he was just being a punk)
“sooo, prom night..?” -johnny
“what about it” -you
“oh, nothing…”
“just drive, punk. my parents aren’t home”
a miracle he didn’t get a speeding ticket
soon enough you two had graduated and gone off to college together
although johnny had a hard time focusing on what really mattered
you two definitely partied together and he was always so protective and caring, making sure no one made a pass at you or made you uncomfortable (and if they did he’d try to fight them and you’d drag him away)
some of those nights were memorable, but he started slipping and you kept trying to keep him on the right path
he had a few wakeup calls
and proposed to you
and you accepted
and for a while, he did things right for you
but in the end, he just couldn’t grow up and you broke it off
all the fighting and drinking and partying and bailing him out of jail finally became too much and you returned the ring
“i wish it were different johnny. i really do. i thought you were the one. but i cant be with you if you’re not gonna grow up. i love you, and im sorry, but im done” -you
he was a WRECK after that he spiraled completely and cried for you for months
and he tried to get you back. he tried to straighten up and fly right but he always fell back into the same problems, and his friends were just as dumb as he was
you’d get a drunken call now and then of johnny rambling how sorry he was and how he still loves you and he wanted to change and begging you to take him back
you went on one last date with him and saw a very grim future
and realized you didn’t want to stick around to fix him
“do you still have the stuffed animal from our first date?” -johnny
“i do” -you
“promise me you’ll keep it forever” -johnny
“i promise”
his parents were so incredibly disappointed in him and that he “lost a good one”
and he never stopped beating himself up over it.
taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @an4aaa // @summersimmerus // @sapphireplums // @ravenhood2792 // @elemental-of-magic // @mauve-galaxy-427 //
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wonymao · 2 months ago
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ᯓ strawberry rush ‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🍓 ⋅ ˚✮
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enjoying dessert with riku!!
a/n; we luv andmiss you king 🙏 my work is never proofread soo might be spelling mistakes
riku x gn!reader
no cws! fluff, sfw
wc: 774
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youre on a date with your boyfriend riku. the both of you enjoy sweets, so he invited you out to this dessert kinda place. the two of you are sitting by a window, on a booth sitting on opposite sides.
looking at the menu, you both have your eyes on this strawberry shortcake, it looks so good!
"i wanna get the strawberry shortcake! it looks so yummy!" you say changing your attention from the menu to your boyfriend, waiting for his answer
"i was thinking the same thing!" he says looking at you lovingly, reaching out his hands to hold yours in his
"welll how about we share? to uhh save money of course.." you say letting him play with your hands as if they were his
"hey you know i never run out of money when it comes to spending it on u.. but sure! i love sharing with you anyway. it makes the vibes more romantic am i right or am i right" he says raising his one eyebrow up and down, flashing you a smile
laughing at the stupid joke your boyfriend made, he stands up and goes to order for you. one thing about riku is he loves to spoil you, wether that be with affection or spending his hard earned money on you, he just loves to see you happy.
staring at your boyfriend whos currently waiting for the cake to come out, he catches you looking at him. he just nods his head and smiles at you. hes such a loser, but thats what you love about him. hes not afraid to be himself.
he comes back to the booth with this pretty big slice of the cake. placing the plate on the table and the fork right beside it. seeing how pretty it is, you whip out your phone to take a picture of it, but riku grabs the plate and pretends to take a bite.
"yah yah y/n take a picture of me and this, itd be so cute because im in it" he says poking out his lips and holding a v pose. his natural cuteness awaking inside of him like the weirdo he is. theres no way you could ever be mad at him when hes this cute. snapping a picture of this moment.
"here, you try it first. tell me how it tastes" riku offers handing you the plate, picking up the fork. guiding the form through the cake, putting it in your mouth and savouring the taste. the sugar instantly hitting your mouth, making your eyes smile. looking up at your boyfriend whos just staring at you, hands holding his face up, tilting his head after your eyes meeting each other.
"how is it?" his voice is soft. "its so good!" you say, grabbing a strawberry that was decorates on top of the cake and dipping it on the whipped cream, popping the whole strawberry in your mouth.
"wow you must like it that much huh? youre a messy eater" riku softly chuckles at how cute you look right now. reaching his finger across to wipe the whipped cream from your lip, tasting it from off his finger.
"oh the whipped cream is nice!" riku says acting like he hadnt just licked the cream that was on your face. lightly slapping riku due to the embarassment, he knows youre not a huge fan of pda, but he is. he loves teasing you.
he's watching you enjoy the cake, you offer him the fork but he declines. "but we're supposed to be sharing.." you shyly say.
riku grabbing your hand and kissing it. "do you want me to eat it that bad?" you nod.
"then.." he says pondering his next few words "give me a kiss" he says puckering up and leaning towards you already. quickly leaning in to give him a quick peck and backing off right away, he smiles to himself knowjng he got you to do a little pda.
"feed it to me" he says opening his mouth waiting for you to do it. giving in to his request, you feed him a piece. "mmm its pretty good, i guess.." he says with a hint of disappiontment.
"your lips are sweeter tho, i miss them already." riku says pouting to himself, looking up at you to see if you heard what he had said. youre staring out the window enjoying the milkshake, blush creeping on your face. you defintly heard what he said
riku knows how to make you flustered, at times he doesnt even need to try. your face is red, almost resembling the colour of a strawberry
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oceanwithouthermoon · 27 days ago
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okok let me finally do my analysis on kusuke and makoto parallels like ive talked about a thousand times (obvious warning that im gonna talk about incest, and also that im gonna be talking about a gag manga in a serious light so if that upsets you just go away ✌️)... yippee, perverted older brothers with unhealthy dynamics with their powerful younger siblings analysis!!
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the most obvious parallel is in their interactions with the others sibling. they literally have the same exact meeting, they both go from being fake nice to "my sibling is special and youre not worthy of them"
not included in pictures but also note that kusuo got rid of makoto by calling on kokomi and kokomi got rid of kusuke by calling on her fans
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"the second hes distracted, LETS GO"
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"we're the only ones who can match up to each other"
kusukes idea of kusuo being inhuman also influences the way this is treated i think- he tells kokomi that marrying a beautiful man will suit her best and that kusuo is above that kind of thing (aka actual romantic and aesthetic attraction), and it seems that being the only ones who can measure up to each other is probably the closest, in his eyes, that kusuo can get to love (confirmed in my opinion by the marriage/engagement symbolism a few pictures down⬇️). thats why he thinks theyre the only ones worthy of each other even if he doesnt see kusuo in the exact same way as makoto sees kokomi. if that makes any sense :p these are obviously already parallel on surface level, but id say theyre even more similar if you look deeply into it
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"i know everything youre thinking" and "everyone else looks like monkeys to me"
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associating their sibling with heaven/god
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a certain fixation on their sibling's body... top two are specifically them trying to see their sibling naked without consent
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? not sure how to describe this. implications of engagement/marriage? this use of an explicitly romantic symbol actually confuses me in kusukes case but thats not really relevant here...
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theyre the reason their sibling cant relax or be themself even at home... also note that kusuo specifically says that kusuos masochism (which i guess in some contexts masochism can be non-sexual but in this situation, since kusuke is canonically a pervert and there are several implications and allusions to sexual pleasure, it obviously means he gets SEXUAL pleasure from pain/humiliation) is the main reason he doesnt like him. likewise, kokomi is bothered by makotos overprotective and overbearing nature, though unfortunately she doesnt seem to be aware of his sister complex and thinks hes just being an annoying big brother.
not necessarily something that can be captured in a picture but theres also the fact that they both have pretty perfect lives but are still obsessed with their sibling and only their sibling, its all they really care about and their entire lives depend on them.
makoto is extremely attractive, charming when hes trying to be, and is a famous actor... he clearly gets girls. but he doesnt want any of them because hes stuck in his obsession with kokomi, shes the only girl he wants and its ruined his perception of other girls. he believes hes the only one that can be right for kokomi and touch her, and that likewise kokomi is the only girl he can be with. her presence dictates his life, he skips work just to follow her around and prevent her from getting involved with other guys. we only see maybe a few sentences from him where he isnt talking about kokomi, even when hes on tv.
kusuke is an attractive and charming genius, easily pulls girls, cambridge graduate, and is the favorite child in his family. but none of that matters, it only sets him apart from other humans and gives him a skewed perspective of anyone who isnt kusuo. he believes kusuo is the only person he can get that sadomasochistic pleasure from, and kusuo is the reason he developed it in the first place and he specifically seeks him out and coerces him into it. he really only cares about his family, theyre the only people in the world that are worth anything in his eyes, and his only interactions with anyone else have been using them as tools to get to kusuo. his life goal is (or was, before the end of cat tank arc) defeating kusuo. he has cameras in his familys house that hes presumably constantly watching, implied by him being ALREADY watching before his parents even called him about kusuos limiter.
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where-does-the-heart-lie · 4 months ago
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totally forgot what you think of shippy stuff but im gonna ask you anyway !!! do u think sabo n law would be friends ??! more than that ?! cause they have like . . . one arc together plus stampede and they dont seem to hate each other so !! im curious of your thoughts 🎤
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Their dynamic for me is kinda just like “this guy is my little brother’s friend” kind of feel and thats really it for me. Like ifykyk what that dynamic is but for me they just,,,, theyre too similar to eachother to be much more than that in my opinion. I feel like Sabo naturally drifts to people who are very different than him, if that makes sense.
I think all the ship art I’ve seen of them is really funny though. Like they have a lot of comedic potential, I love people putting Law in Situations and that man is just doomed to be the StraightMan for the rest of his unintentionally sexy life.
And also like, to get into law’s world you really have to push and shove and claw your way in there, and Sabo is way too busy trying to get tf outta wherever he is to do that for law.
Now that im thinking about it though, i wish we knew how sabo and ace met. Cuz like luffy really had to push and shove and claw his way into Ace’s life, so i wonder if sabo had to do the same. Thats really besides the point though because i wouldnt really compare Sabo being completely alone and friendless when he was 5 and trying to find even a single friend in Ace, to Sabo in his adult years who grew up without a single memory of being alone and being constantly surrounded by people who love him.
Sabo isnt like Luffy is with making friends. Luffy has had multiple points in his life where hes had to really force people into friendship to have someone, anyone, in his life. This naturally is because he hates being alone, mostly stemming from just truly no one being there for him to connect with. He’s been woefully devoid of peers in his life. So for Luffy, having to brute force his way into people’s lives is just par for the course for him, which of course is how he became Law’s friend (self proclaimed)
But Sabo, with how he was raised post amnesia, he was never lonely. So in my opinion he wouldnt really have that drive to force his way into people’s lives like his little brother does. He wouldnt have that insecurity that Luffy has/had to make him like that.
And Law….. he’s had everyone he’s ever loved ripped away from him time and time again. To say being Law’s friend is extremely fucking hard is an understatement to say the extreme least. Sabo is also not the kind of guy to do things for people. Like for example Bartolomeo drowning in the colosseum as sabo destroyed the arena and just telling him “youre a man, do it yourself.” And then two seconds later to his woman friend he’s like “since when can you not take care of things yourself?” Like he’s very You Gotta Meet Him Halfway If Youre Gonna Meet Him At All. (‘Woman friend’ being koala, of course, but i just wanna emphasize those two points because truly it doesnt matter what your gender is or even if youre a close friend, that ‘do it yourself’ is rated E for Everybody)
Law needs to be broken in with a semi truck to be his friend, not even mentioning trying to be his lover and i really dont think sabo would put in the effort to do either of those things. I honestly think law shouldn’t be in any romantic relationship for a very long time because of how unbelievably traumatized and broken and ruined he is especially with certain recent events. So i really have a hard time shipping him with anyone even though theres lots of characters ripe for the picking.
TDLR: in my eyes, neither of them would put in the effort of trying to be anything with eachother and are kinda just on good terms because of a mutual friend.
By Every Means Necessary though, please keep shipping them and drawing ship art of them, i feel like the stuff i see with them is so creative and i encourage you to keep drawing those tragic men making out.
If you have any other thoughts or any ship/friendship propaganda for me though lmk please. This is kinda one of those ships where i really dont much understand it beyond The Bit. I’m just not the kind of person to really like ships without seeing a direct and canon dynamic between them I can pull from. Like even if its a negative dynamic i can still get into it but like these two truly have Nothing. So by all means, help me understand.
Thank you for coming my ted talk and thank you for the question, i really had to think hard about this and it was a lot of fun coming to the conclusion i came to.
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cinnamostar · 9 months ago
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three dates to fall in love
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part one. part two. part three. part four. part five (here). part six (coming soon).
pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader
summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?
wc : 2.5k
cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn , not proofread, nothing crazy :)
a/n : im back from my hiatus and omggg i graduated from my masters program wahoooo! here's part five. let me know what you think! theres not much going on here to be honest........ its pretty chill
⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘
“Yo,” Changbin answers from the other end of the line, his heavy breaths echoing through the call.
“Are you still working out?” Hyunjin asks incredulously, pulling the phone back to check the time, “You said you were going to the gym two hours ago and you’re still there?”
“Gotta keep these bad boys in shape, ya know?” Changbin teases, a giggle ringing through as he is most, (and he is), checking himself out in the mirror, “What’s up though? Did you just get home?”
“At this point, you look more like a bodyguard than my manager.”
“I take that as a compliment! Thank you very much, but I believe you have something to discuss with me, hm?”
“I mean, it went well?” Hyunjin responds with uncertainty in his voice, causing Changbin to sigh from the other end of the line.
“Is that all..? Are you just going to call me every time to tell me only that?” Changbin asks with annoyance, unable to understand the actor’s unwillingness to share anything more about the arrangement he found himself in. “You know, I’ll just end up calling Chan and hearing it from him instead…”
“Huh?”
Changbin smirks to himself, knowing that would capture the younger’s attention, “Yeah, you know, Y/N has a lot to say. I know all about it. It’s the only way I know how things are going.”
“What do they say?”
“Why do you care?”
“I just do.”
“And I should tell you because…?”
Hyunjin frowns at the back-and-forth, feeling peeved Changbin, his manager, wasn’t divulging any information upfront, “Because I’m the one going on dates with them and I should probably know…?”
“I’ll tell you if you tell me how today went.”
“It went well, I already told you that.”
“Tough luck, buddy, that won’t do. How unfair, especially when Y/N has sooo much to say,” Changbin dramatically mocks a sob, “Yet you, oh, you have so little to offer. It’s like you’re not enjoying any of it.”
Hyunjin rolls his eyes at his antics, frustration bubbling within him, “I am enjoying it and it is going well. Is that good enough for you?”
“Nope.”
“Okay.”
“Okay… So, can I hang up now?”
“No.”
“So you want me to stay on the phone in silence with you?” Changbin asks, a smirk still plastered on his face because he knew, eventually, Hyunjin would relent to Changbin’s teasing. It was always like this, Hyunjin was hard to read and never shared much with Changbin, which honestly makes his job as his manager a lot more difficult than he’d like. The only times Hyunjin would be transparent with him about his emotions was when he was complaining about something, or the time he panickedly called him after his very unfortunate date with you, and how he realized what a big mistake he had made. Other than that, Hyunjin lips were always sealed tight. Either because he was a private person or was bad at vocalizing his feelings, Channgbin didn’t know, but he was getting annoyed at Hyunjin calling him after every day with the same three words every time. ‘It went well.’ God, those words were pissing him off and he felt like his time was being wasted because now, he had to call Chan and find out from him what was going on. After another few moments of silence, Changbin sighs once more, “Okay, I’m hanging up now —”
“N-no, wait!” Hyunjin interrupts him, a slight tremor in his voice.
“Okay, now I’m waiting.”
“Today went well, and I know I already said that, let me finish,” rambles Hyunjin, the words slowly clawing their wait up his throat, “It’s just… it’s a lot nicer than I thought it would have been. They’re super kind and welcoming to me even though I was a complete asshole to them.”
Changbin smiles victoriously to himself, ecstatic to finally hear this simple, yet salient confession out of the younger boy, “Oh, that’s good then. Sounds like they’re doing their best to make it work.”
“Yes, but I also… feel really bad about it too,” Hyunjin grimaces at the guilt he had been trying to ignore, it sneaking up to the forefront of his mouth as he speaks, “I really don’t think I deserve any of this from them, but they’re treating me sorta like nothing ever happened before and it’s a little weird to get use to this side of them. The more I realize how wrong I was about them, the shittier I feel.”
“Man, I don’t blame you, but I think you gotta give yourself some credit. It sounds like you both are handling this weird situation the best you can. Have you told them this?”
“Yeah, and that’s what makes this feel worse. They were so sweet about it, they comforted me when I was the one who hurt them,” groans Hyunjin, pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezes his eyes shut, “And they… they said they need time to forgive me, which is fine! I get that entirely, but… I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself until they do?”
“Mhm, I understand what you’re feeling isn’t easy, but don’t you think you should at least try to be nicer to yourself? I mean… It sounds like Y/N cares about you enough, and if they want you to feel better about the situation, shouldn’t you try for their sake?”
“I guess, but it’s not that easy, Changbin –”
“I never said it was easy,” Changbin responds pointedly, “But wallowing up in guilt is no way to be living either, I’m sure Y/N knows that too and doesn’t want you beating yourself up this much about it when you’re both trying to move forward.”
“I don’t know…”
“Just give it a try, it won’t hurt. You can hold yourself accountable and still be nice to yourself. Alright, but I have to go now, so byeee!”
Hyunjin frowns, “Wait, no, you’re supposed to tell me–” only for him to be cut off by the sound of the call ending, “... what Y/N said…”
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Hyunjin decided to take both yours and Changbin’s advice to heart and do his very best to practice compassion, yet he forgot how terribly difficult that was until the next day arrived. In theory, it should be simple to just be nicer to himself, but his heart kept contorting and aching with guilt throughout the day, it becoming too much to bear as he tried to figure out how to control that emotion. He had to eventually learn to be in your presence without that harrowing, bottomless pit that would form in his stomach, especially if you two were going to be costars for the rest of filming.
So here he was, his face and ears tinged with red as he sat across you on a picnic blanket, an assortment of foods between you two, and a gentle breeze causing locks of your hair to dance. Despite the chilly weather, Hyunjin could feel himself being covered in what he can only describe as a cold sweat while his stomach flipped onto himself. He was nervous, anxious even, and he had zero clue on how to deal with what he called guilt, shame, humiliation. He wasn’t sure which word was the best descriptor for this very moment, but he could barely sit still, constantly fidgeting as he tried to turn his gaze away from you, hoping the blues of the lake would ease his nerves that had not stopped rapid firing since noon. 
“You okay?” You ask, lifting a sushi piece to your mouth as you eyed Hyunjin with a cocked up eyebrow.
He freezes up for a moment, before forcing a nervous smile with a nod, “Oh, yeah, I’m fine!” He tries to force his voice into a more cheery tone, but he can tell you could see right through him. Somehow, you could read the faintest microexpressions from him, but he’s thankful to see you shrug your shoulders and not press on any further. It was almost as if you had the ability to read his mind, knowing when it was right to question his behavior or just let him revel in his own thoughts.
“Well, you should eat some more! I need some help finishing all this food Changbin ordered for us,” you laugh, picking up a piece of sushi between your chopsticks and lifting it towards him, “Here, open up!” you say in a teasing tone.
He rolls his eyes, “You know, I can feed myself,” but he felt his stomach bubble up with inexorable nerves, his words almost getting caught in his throat. You playfully pout at his words, “Oh, c’mon, just eat it! I know you want to.” You wiggle the sushi in front of his face in some poor attempt to entice him, but it was only causing him to become uncomfortably warm as he did his best to look anywhere that wasn’t your face. “Fine, fine,” he responds, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible as he opens his mouth as you plop the sushi into it, the beating of his heart thumping loudly in his ears. 
“Good, right?” You smile.
He nods his head, his eyes crinkling at the overwhelming flavor as hums in agreement, “Wow, yeah, which one was that?” 
“Mmm, I think that one is toro salmon? I’m not sure,” you giggle at his reaction, feeling pleased with yourself that you managed to whittle away at the awkwardness he wore around you. Hyunjin was constantly on edge around you, the nerves obvious in the frown lines of his forehead, and while you could understand why, you were hoping he would start to loosen up around you as time went on. Despite everything that has occurred over the past two years, you were starting to yearn for the friendship you and Hyunjin once had and wished to be able to return to that comforting time. 
However, it was never that simple, as your desire for his friendship was often overshadowed with memories of his cruel words, how easily he spat them out to you without a moment of hesitation. A moment of innocent banter could just take you back to that time because somehow, his banter and cruelty shared a similar inflection, just enough to cause your eyes to prick with tears if you noticed it. The lasting impact his words had on you was a stark reminder for you to not so easily forgive him, to not forget what he was once capable of. But no matter how hard you tried to look past it and solely focus on your friendship with him, there was this inexplicable rift between you two, a hurdle neither you could just quite jump over, though perhaps it was this mutual understanding that allowed you both to understand each others’ quietness. It was strange, you two had become strangers that understood the language your souls’ whispered, but neither retained that fluency and were struggling to recall the words you once spoke.
The silence returns, enveloping you both as the wind hushedly howls, the sounds of birds chirping filling in the empty pages of dialogue as you each continue to eat. Every now and then someone would comment on the food, how good it tasted and thanking God for letting Changbin set up such a delicious day, finishing the last bits of sashimi that was left on the plate.
“Oh jeez, I’m so full,” you mutter, sleepiness slowly creeping its way into your body, “Ah, but we gotta take pictures, I don’t wanna deal with a whiny Changbin.”
Hyunjin snorts, knowing all too well the fit his manager would throw if his date plans were not followed through, especially when he made it clear to the both of you that he wanted proof that you two actually did take those pictures. All he wanted was for each of you to take photos of the other, a mini photoshoot by the lake, while also insisting it would be a great post for either of your instagrams. “Yeah, let's not do that to ourselves.” He lifts himself up from the floor, anxiously offering a hand to help you up, quickly retracting after you stood while ignoring the electric nerves bouncing at the palm of his hands. 
“I’ll take your pictures first, okay?” You say, your phone already in hand as you gesture to him to stand in front of the lake, “Luckily, the sun is out, so maybe we will get some nice photos to post,” you add on. Meanwhile, Hyunjin, very stiffly, stood ahead of you, unsure what to do with his body and how to pose. Normally, he is good at this kind of stuff, he has done plenty of photoshoots in the past, but he was terrified at the thought of embarrassing himself in front of you. Before, he had never once had this concern, this worry, he didn’t know why these thoughts kept forming each time he thought of you. It clouded his mind, preventing him from seeing any logic or reason. “Alright, model boy, do your thing, I know you know how to work the camera,” you call out, snapping Hyunjin out of his trance. 
If he wasn’t sweating before, he most definitely was now as he body overheated under the sudden pressure he put onto himself as he robotically posed, and you, as always, couldn’t help but notice the lack of elegance he usually carried himself with. “Oh, c’mon, what’s up with you today?” 
“I… I don’t know, I’m just nervous… I think?”
“Well, I can see that,” you sigh, placing a hand on your hip, “But, you got no reason to be! It’s just me!”
“I think it being you is the issue,” he murmurs out, not really meaning for the words to slip out his mouth.
You press your lips into a straight line, “Right, I get that. Sooo, how about you pretend it’s not me taking the pictures, but Changbin?”
Hyunjin breathes out a sarcastic laugh, “Oh, yea, that will totally work, you make a very convincing Changbin.”
“Oh, right, let me just-” you roll up the sleeves of your shirt, exposing your biceps as you make a poor attempt to flex them, “How about now, is this working?”
Hyunjin found himself laughing loudly at your very sudden and unexpected antics, his stomach flipping onto itself as a flurry of affection rushed over him. You looked absolutely ridiculous, yet something about it was incredibly endearing despite the goofiness that radiated off of you. However, the sound of the camera shuttering from your phone quickly made him pause his laughter. “Hm, I think you look pretty cute in this,” you smile, turning the screen towards him to see you had captured a photo of him in the midst of his giddiness. He felt his cheek flush at your words, the shyness that had temporarily disappeared made its presence known. “I guess it’s not bad, just… a little different from what I usually post online.”
“Good different, right?” You ask, a smile still gracing features as the sun kisses your features, the wind gently brushing through your hair. 
“Definitely a good different.”
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taglist (closed): @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @cupidcures @sleepyxxhead @pinkpunkdynamite @kaiyaba @palindrome969 @aokiss @annybah @tigerroarsinthelight @bubbly-moon @nattisbored @jin-from-the-block @hyuneyeon
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songsofadelaide · 6 months ago
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HELLOO!!! me again teehee i was wondering if u still accepted requests or if theyre closed for now but i still wanted to share my ting!! moment but its totally up to u whether or not u’ll accept.
in part two of the cbffs hoshina x reader series, hoshina mentioned reader should write him letters if there are anything reader cant say to his face and i was wondering if we could get like a moment where that happens im thinking uhh since hoshina is pretty important member of the force maybe he gets too busy/ preoccupied/ spending too much time w work and while reader understands this it doesnt mean she doesnt feel lonely sometimes… maybe add a bit of jealousy w hoshina spending alot more time w/ okonogi or whoever/ whatever scenario if thats up to ur liking and reader just gets distant?? and decides to leave a letter to hoshinas table telling how she feels as she cant say what shes feeling to his face
idk theyve been so cute and happy i wanna ruin it EMZ!!! lowkey theres already a number of good jealous hoshina we need more of jealous reader imo. thank uuu!!!
ANON WHY?! Like why ruin a perfectly good thing LOL BUT I GET! 😂 I'm all for fluff, but maybe the reader should go apeshit sometimes. 🤭
This will be the final part of my Radiant Point series, which took on a life of its own after I received so many lovely requests for more parts of it! 💛
My apologies too that this took so long! There's balancing life in real-time. (I just quit my job and am now hunting for a new one lol! 😂)
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flare — another side story to radiant point. ✧ refulgence | candor
cw: vice captain soshiro x platoon leader (f) reader, fiancee reader, childhood friends to lovers, jealous + mean reader, no use of 'yn', happy reunions.
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Vice Captain Hoshina Soshiro of the Third Division was perhaps the second most admired person in Tokyo. 
Not only that, but perhaps he's also the second most busy person in your division.
You learned about that the hard way one day when you found Soshiro conversing with one of the Operations trainees Konomi assigned to him during low-risk missions while on your way to the Captain's office. You just wrapped up from a mission yourself when you nearly walked in on him and the young but pretty girl. She had a neat look to her person and evidently took everything he said to heart, jotting down notes as he spoke to her about pointers you had no idea about. If you remembered correctly, too, she must be one of Konomi's best and brightest since she had no issue assigning her to the Vice Captain, of all people. 
"Well? Did you get all of that, Tateyama? It's a lot to consider, but Okonogi-chan thinks you're capable enough."
"Yes, boss! I-I mean sir!" The Operations trainee, Tateyama, eagerly nodded her assent as she closed her notepad and slipped it back into the pocket of her white coat. 
"Do you have any other questions?"
"D-Do you have a girlfriend, Vice Captain?!"
"I'm engaged to Platoon Leader Koganei," Soshiro replied with his usual cheer. "You must not know about it since we've just recently announced it."
"O-Oh, I see! One of our Platoon Leaders…" 
"She and I are childhood friends, too."
"Ah! And childhood friends, too!" The younger girl remarked with a look of complete surprise on her face. "How romantic!" 
You left them to their conversation after hearing just how harmless it was and decided to pay no thought to it afterwards. A young girl with a silly crush on your fiancé was nothing to feel threatened about. More than anything, it was rather flattering to know just how well-sought-after Soshiro was and that he still chose you out of all the people he could be with.
But then you realised the young girls around him may not be as harmless as you initially thought.
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The young Operations trainees were taking a break from weapons calibrations when you overheard their conversation at the mess hall that afternoon. You didn't mean to, of course. You and Tae were there for a break yourselves, but something in the tone of their voices made you do a double-take.
"I can't believe you actually asked Vice Captain Hoshina if the rumours were true!" 
"I-I know! It's too bad that they were. That means he's off-limits," said the girl you recognised as Tateyama from the other day. "B-But that doesn't mean we can't daydream about him a little now, can we? He's just so cool!"
"Exactly! And he's got a cute side, too. Maybe if we show him just how good we are, he might cave in and even consider enterta—"
"Well, that's not a good w— O-Otome-chan?!"
Your fellow Platoon Leader was unable to stop you from marching towards their table, where you unceremoniously slammed down your favourite iced drink.
"P-Platoon Leader K—!" The girls hastily rose to their feet to meet your smiling yet furious gaze. "We—"
"You're… Tateyama, aren't you? The one assigned to the Vice Captain," you said, not even allowing them to speak. "And you are?"
"A-Akabane, ma'am," the other girl stammered.
"My, you must think so little of Vice Captain Hoshina if you think he'll consider entertaining little brats like you," you stated with a wicked grin on your face. "How… funny. I seem to recall the Vice Captain telling you that he was already engaged, Tateyama. But that doesn't bother you at all, does it?"
"I-I…"
"This isn't high school, children. We aren't in the business of stealing other women's boyfriends here. Even more so that he's engaged. We're all about saving lives and subjugating Kaiju here. If you're really as smart as Konomi-chan says you are, you'll know what's more important."
How scary, Tae thought to herself, though she couldn't blame you for reacting that way, too. Then again, these kids are way too brazen!
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Captain Ashiro Mina of the Third Division, a pillar of strength and a beacon of light for the people of Tokyo, has been reduced to matchmaking duties because she's had just about enough.
Because two of her best officers were acting like idiots.
She was supportive of your relationship with Soshiro at first, but now that you were unable to coexist in the same space whenever the Vice Captain was around, she thinks it's borderline ridiculous. You couldn't even deliver reports without glaring at him wherever your eyes met! (And you admit that it's totally unprofessional on your part.) Mina is forgiving, but your situation begs the question now.
Can loving someone really fry your brain that much?
She heard about how you scolded the younger Operations trainees and even had Konomi apologising for their "brazen" behaviour, as Tae also mentioned.  
Soshiro's not-so-subtle teasing and flirting aren't helping your case, either. Everyone knew he liked throwing around little endearments, but the way he spoke to you was different— his voice hushed to a whisper and a string of endearments he'd rather not let anyone else hear—and it made sense to the rookies that you were a blubbering mess afterwards.
But they all noticed how you avoided the Vice Captain like he had the plague even though he just whispered yet another light-hearted sweet nothing to you. It was clear to them that you were annoyed, but the way your lips quivered in embarrassment gave you away and you might as well just combust on the spot.
"I'm acting like a fool…"
The final straw was when you were taking your bath late in the night. Mina realised you were purposely avoiding everyone else by volunteering to be the last one to take a bath and mop up the floors. You thought you'd be all alone by then, but you were shell-shocked by the dark silhouette that appeared behind you as you groaned to yourself. 
"C-Captain! I-It's late! Wh—"
Your Captain held her belongings in one hand while the other had a finger gun pointed at you. "You need to tell me if you're acting like a fool for a reason."
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Soshiro has had just about enough of your attitude lately.
Your jealous outburst was cute when he first heard about it, but the Operations trainees wanted nothing to do with him anymore after that. And he couldn't have that happening since they had to practise analysing vitals and situations and calibrating weapons with someone. He will have to pass on the task to the Platoon Leaders, but he needed to speak with them— and you. 
You avoided him as much as you possibly could and everyone else picked up on it now because no one else spoke up whenever you two were in close proximity, as if they were waiting and anticipating for the two of you to reconcile. You didn't mention anything about leaving Tachikawa, too, since he found out earlier this week that your platoon was assigned under Ryo and Tae in the meantime.
"I gave Koganei an assignment. She's at Ariake," Mina told her Vice Captain as he inquired about your whereabouts. "She… didn't want me to tell you about it."
"Ah, I see," came Soshiro's flat response. "I apologise for draggin' the entire division in our…"
"She'll be back tomorrow. When she arrives, I'll need you two back here in my office to discuss something," she stated. "In the meantime, Hoshina, have you considered organising the files at your office?"
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Letters were among the many things you and Soshiro shared, especially when you went to France to further your fencing skills. For the young man who loved to read and devoured nearly everything that had words on it, your letters to him were always a source of delight. When you were still in France, it took around 10 days for your letters to reach each other, so you always had something new to read almost every week.  
He was utterly elated when he found yet even more letters from you addressed to him, though you never sent them his way because of how candid they were. It pleased him to no end to find out that his feelings for you were reciprocated. In your letters, he could trust you to give voice to the very depths of your emotions, even more now after he told you to write to him whenever you wanted to. 
On his office desk sat a single letter in your familiar and favourite cream stationery, and it was only then he realised that his Captain's cryptic comment was meant to be a sign of sorts pointing to his most favourite means of communication with you, his most favourite person. The letter sat atop a number of document folders that had to be sorted out, but he'd figure those out later. 
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"To Hoshina Soshiro-副隊長,
I suppose I'm still at headquarters by the time you find this letter. I remember you once told me that I could write to you whenever I could, whenever I wanted to, especially if there were things on my mind that I couldn't speak out loud. It's embarrassing having to write something like this, but I feel like I can be honest with you here.
It was only recently that I realised that Vice Captain Hoshina Soshiro of the Third Division is perhaps the second most admired person in Tokyo. I say second because Captain Ashiro is still at the top of the list. Imagine that— your fiancé, one of the most admired persons in the city. The whole of Japan, even, now that I think about it. 
You always claimed to be nothing special, but I can confirm with you that it wasn't true at all when I heard those little girls prattling about impressing you. They speak about you like you're some monolith meant to be worshipped… and the worst part is I completely understand them. I, too, look up at you in awe of your silent strength and skill and still hope that you will turn my way— even though I know that your gaze rested solely on me and that your heart is mine, even from long, long ago. 
Truth be told, I can't handle the way other women speak about you. And it's beyond my control. You are just so amazing like that— And have you heard the way they talk about your body??? You've been objectified so many times now, I might as well burn down the base—
I know I must have been a brat this past week, but I promise you that my antics end now. Captain Ashiro scolded me in the bathroom sometime last week and told me to sort things out with you. She even said you must hand over my remaining brain cell because I clearly wasn't thinking straight these past few days. 
I apologise for being such an insufferable person. I hope we can talk once I return from Ariake. The Captain of the First Division requested a blade master for close-quarters training, so Captain Ashiro sent me, claiming I am the second best Tachikawa can offer. You are, of course, a knife she can't afford to lose. 
She also told me to beat up Captain Narumi in her stead, so there is that.
I'll bring back some Mont Blanc from that shop at Jiyugaoka. Let's have them with coffee and tea when I get back.
I love you dearly."
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Soshiro was nothing but happy to see you back at Tachikawa a day later, the box of Mont Blanc you promised him nearly dropped in the process when he welcomed you back with a hug. He didn't let go despite your struggling and urging and whimpering at how embarrassing this was. 
How could he let you go when you were holding him just as tight in the first place? 
You both had barely set down your salutes when your Captain welcomed you into her office with a simple declaration, an order you couldn't refuse. 
"I need you two to go on a vacation for me."
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✦ Thank you for requesting! Nothing makes me happier than writing a request I know I can work with. 🍹 You can read more about requesting here. (Requests are closed at present. Thanks for your kind understanding!)
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puppyluvfics · 7 months ago
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NSFW Alphabet | O.de/Oh Seungmin
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O.de/Oh Seungmin | WC: 1.7k Genre: smut Summary: nsfw alphabet game thing Warnings: this is just. PURE filth. I'm sorry. (No im not). NOT proofread, just straight up rambles. uhhh like lots of kink stuff but nothing graphic, lemme know if theres anything specific that i need to add pls! A/N: X is excluded bc i will Not be writing about him in that kind of detail <3 screaming crying im SO normal right now :)
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
HELLO literally the sweetest angel in the entire world, are we kidding? He’s absolutely the type to come so hard that he needs a minute to remember where he even is, but once he does, he’s all over you, holding you tightly. His mind would still be hazy - somewhere between needy and fucked out, so he’d lick sweat off of you before kissing your temples and pull your hair a little just to bring you closer to him as he kisses you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Do I even need to say it? Collarbones, arms, chest, RIBCAGEEEE!!! GOD tracing his tattoo with your tongue would drive him NUTS, I already know.
On his partner though… he seems like the type to like the sensitive spots that would make you arch your back whenever he’d kiss or bite at them… your pulse point on your neck, your inner thighs, a spot on your hip…
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He likes to see his cum on you, it doesn’t matter where. On your chest, on your stomach, on your ass, on your back, on your face!! Literally, does not matter. It’s not that he’s against coming inside you, but the sight of you panting and waiting for him to make a mess of you drives him insane.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
I’ve said this phrase before but… is it really a secret if it’s kind of blatantly obvious? You can’t tell me he doesn’t love taking tasteful nudes. Setting up his phone or even a camera and just posing, showing off his body and how perfect his cock looks when it’s hard…
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Man… he knows how to fuck. Did y’all see that clip where he was gripping the keyboard? Don’t even play with me, he knows how to fuck, and he is so good at it. I’d even go so far as to say he knows how to make you squirt…
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Ooh… if I say standing? Pushed up against a wall? That way he could have the most control, fucking himself up into you, yanking on your hair, telling you how he wants to hear you moan - hear how good he’s making you feel and also slap your ass whenever he felt like it.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He can be… he isn’t usually, like, he’s more serious, but he can have fun. The fun would come more in the foreplay aspect, by asking you to model short skirts or lingerie, or asking you to bend over to get something, but once he gets going… he’s a different person.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
You all know the drill… short, sweet, simple. Trimmed and neat if not fully shaved. King of self-care and maintenance.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
There’s always a bit of romance in it, even in the moments where he’d have two fingers quickly moving inside you, coaxing you into an overstimulated orgasm. He’d praise you while degrading you, yknow? Calling you a beautiful slut, a dumb, needy, pretty little thing… AND he’d so be the type to five you small spanks or slaps (if you were okay with it) and tell you that you take it so well, the basis of it all being the fact that you trust him enough to know he’d never hurt you…
J = Jack off (masturbation headcannon)
There’s no way he doesn’t love jacking off in a mirror… coming on the mirror and just watching it drip for a sec while he catches his breath… yeah. Admiring his own neediness and how flushed he looks right after coming… yeah. Yeah. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Light impact play and brat taming!! I say light because I can’t imagine him enjoying leaving marks on you from that other than on your ass, and even then, it’s just from his hand - he wouldn’t venture into paddles or crops or anything. Brat taming though… he knows all too well that you enjoy biting back and testing him, especially because he knows he could grab a fist full of your head and shut you up, literally and figuratively, reminding you of your place.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Favorite place? Home. Places he enjoys on occasion? In public. Again, not in the “let me ride your cock in the park” way (everyone be normal, come on), but pulling you into bathrooms at parties and clubs on the rare occasion you both go, somewhere public enough where you could get caught but probably not.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Is it lame and cheesy to say that the very idea of it is what gets him going? Just knowing that he gets to watch his cock disappear inside you, feel how wet and tight you are around him… being with you like that is enough to get him hard. Touching you and teasing you would have him so needy.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
It’s not crazy out there, but I think he would be so adamant about not sharing you. The very idea of including another person just kind of pisses him off more than turns him on. You’re his. Why would he let anyone else taste you? Touch you?
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He’s a munch too, I don’t care what anyone says. I would even go so far to say that like, it’s not that he hates getting head. He’s a guy, he loves feeling your tongue on his cock, but more than anything like that, he loves being pussy drunk. Sucking on your clit teasingly and stopping whenever your whines would get loud, lapping at you like it was the last thing he’d ever have in his mouth… 
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
We’ve all seen him hit those keys… when it comes to fingering? It’s hard and its rough and you Will feel it. Sex itself can vary, but I don’t think it would be slow for the sake of savoring it more than it would be for teasing. Especially in front of a mirror?? Yeah, he’d slowly fuck into you and make you watch how he stretches you.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
If you really wanted him to, he would, but he’ll never initiate one, and even then, he wouldn’t be the eagerest to give in either. It’s not that he wants to make it all rose petals and special every time you fuck, but he wants time to savor you, to feel you around him and lose himself without worrying about a time limit. 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Now… I can really see him being the kinky type. Maybe not to a super extent, but he’d try things. Wax play, shibari, temperature play (!!), sensation play… anything that’s safe and easy to come back from, he’d try at least once.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He is also someone I see who is one round and then done. It’s not for lack of wanting to keep going, but he just loses himself with you, and by the time he comes, he’s fucked out. Of course, if you wanted to keep going, he’d let you sit on his face and he’d eat you out until you were satisfied, but there’s no double come action from him. (Sad.)
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
I think he would love toys, honestly. This is making me want to write a “Shopping for sex toys with him” thing… because I can just imagine him being so excited and entranced with all the options. How he’d laugh and ask if people really used things like Bad Dragon toys, how he’d be so eager to learn about just how many different types of toys there are…. Someone stop me.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Do I even need to answer this? I can’t stop thinking about him teasing in front of a mirror too… he should stop posting mirror pics for my health. The way he’d tell you to keep your eyes forward and run his fingers up and down your body, taking his hand away the second you shut your eyes and leaned into the pleasure.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s not silent, but you really have to coax it out of him. He’d absolutely oblige once you asked, especially if you said it in a whiny, begging voice, but moaning is not on the top of the list of things to do for him.
W = Wild card (a random headcannon for the character)
Oh my god okay listen I’m sorry I just got reminded of this on twt and it will probably mean nothing to anyone except me but JUST LISTEN!! There’s this clip right… Seungmin as Sephiroth… GOD HELP ME “Such a puppy” with the cocky attitude… the brat tamer in him… guys… these posts are usually more put together and less about my personal desires/fantasies but FUCK!!!
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
If we look at it as how many times a week… I’d say a solid 3 days, at least. More on good weeks, a little less on weeks you weren’t feeling it, but he’s content just keeping his hands on you in any manner, sexual or not.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)
He’d be up for a while after. Not too long, of course, he’d be spent. But he wouldn’t fall asleep immediately after. He’d stay up until either you fell asleep or the both of you recovered enough to go on with the rest of the day. <3
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seokmn · 3 days ago
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chapter 11.
wc: 1.7k words
another rock was thrown in the lake as you sighed. “i cant believe he did that to me, and i cant believe they hid that from me!”
keeho rubbed your back and listened to you quietly, knowing that all you needed at that moment was someone to listen to you. “he couldve talked to me! he knows im a good listener! it shouldnt need to end up like this…”  you looked at your hands that were resting on your lap while your fingers were playing with the little rocks you were holding. you let out a frustrated sigh and looked at the lake that reflected the moons light. “ah, i dont know,” you threw a rock far away in the lake. the rock jumping a few times before finally leaving your eyesight as it fell down into the water.
“wanna know the worst part?” you chuckled bitterly and didnt even give keeho time to answer, you were already talking again. “i love him way too much to even say that i hate him or wish him the worst. id probably break up with him either way… i just didnt want things to end like this.”
“youd break up with him either way?”
“keeho, i love chan too much to let him keep me by his side after i become a burden for him. ive already met him when he had his dream of becoming an idol clear as day, how would i let him give up on his dream just for the sake of a relationship? he can get over me, but he cant get over his dream,” you said as you looked at keeho with so much sadness in your eyes. you knew that what you were saying was the most rational and right thing to think, say, and do, but deep down, your heart is broken, and you are screaming to have chan back deep inside.
“so, you want my opinion on this, or do you want me to just listen to you?”
“no, you can speak up.”
“first of all, you have all the right to be mad and upset at him, yeri and sieun, but you have to understand their sides as well. about sieun and yeri, they knew about this, but should they really tell you? some people would say yes, some people would say they did the right thing because this is between you and chan and they found out without wanting to. chan didnt tell them, he has no clue that they know,” keeho took a rock out of your hands and threw it in the lake. “now, about chan… he was an asshole, yes. he shouldve never treated you like that. but hes torn between you or his career, and that shows how much he loves you, dont you agree? imagine having someone loving you so much to the point of not knowing if they should choose you or pursue the dream they have had since they were a little kid.”
listening to keeho’s words made your eyes tear up and your lips tremble. he was right, chan loves you that much. “i think you should listen to what he has to say, but not right now. do that when youre feeling ready, okay? and dont be mad at sieun and yeri, they did what they thought was the best for you, and by sieuns message she was feeling really bad from hiding that from you, and you know how yeri is, i bet she was feeling bad as well.”
keeho patted your back and gave you a small and reassuring smile. you studied his face, and you saw nothing but love and empathy in his eyes, not a single hint of pity. he didnt pity you for being lied to and having to break up with the love of your life, he never once pitied you, and thats one of the countless reasons that you love about keeho. he loves you for who you are and always showed you how theres no one better to be your best friend but him.
you closed the distance between you by pulling him into a tight hug. the way he hugged you back immediately made you finally break down into tears.
you knew that even if it hurt and it would take a while to heal from this, everything would be fine because you have the best friendship ever and because you were making the right choice for the guy you romantically love more than anything.
the ride home just wasnt silent because keeho knows how to crack a joke and light up your mood. a part of you was almost forgetting about chan for the moment until your eyes landed on him sitting on the ground outside your house. the boy who was looking down at his own feet immediately looked up when he heard your laugh—your laugh that died once you noticed him—and felt his heart beat faster. he stood up while you stayed still with keeho beside you.
“do you want me to tell him to go away?” keehos question came out as a whisper. its not easy to tell that keeho adores chan, but he would fight him if you asked him to. even tho youre older than him, keeho thinks that he has to protect you just like an older brother would protect his little sister. “no, its fine. you should go tho.. see you at school, and thank you for today.”
keeho nodded and pat your shoulder before glancing at chan and flashing him a smile as he walked away, leaving you and chan alone.
“what are you doing here and how long were you waiting for me?” you made your way to the front door while taking your keys out of your pocket. “i wanted to talk... if youre up to, of course. ive been waiting not for much time,” chan lied. he went to your house a few minutes after you left with keeho. “when i came i saw that the lights of your room were off and supposed you were out. i didnt want to bother your parents by asking for you and waiting inside in case you didn’t want to talk to me.”
“what do you even want to talk about, chan?” your voice showed a hint of frustration, which didnt go unnoticed by chan, making him frown a little bit. “i want to apologize, yn. i shouldnt have acted like that, i recognize my mistake. i dont know what i was thinking… i was under do much pressure yesterday and- and…” his eyes started to be filled with tears, and his voice started to crack, he was trying his best to hold back his tears, but was failing miserably. “and i love you so much, i dont want this to be the end. i just dont know what to do. im so sorry.”
chan started to cry for real, sobs coming out from his mouth as he fell on his knees and looked up at you with a hopeless and extremely hurt expression. “i was supposed to show you every single day how much i love you and never be the reason of your worries, insecurities, and tears from sadness or anger. gosh-“ he choked on his own sob before continuing. “im so sorry. i dont know what to do. this is killing me.”
it was impossible to see that sight of him and not start to cry as well. it hurt you more seeing him like that than the whole situation itself that led you to this. “chan… stand up, please.” he shook his head and stayed on his knees. he tried to speak, but his sobs interrupted him, and his voice didnt even need to threaten him to fail, it was already a fact that if he tried to speak, his voice wouldnt go out. chan’s throat was tensioned, it was like there was something huge and painful stuck in it, and that feeling was more than agonizing.
you took a few steps closer to him and gently wrapped your arms around his head, which made him instantly lean into your touch and hug your hips as he mumbled countless im sorry against the beginning of your thigh.
you let him be as you waited for him to calm down and took the opportunity to calm down as well, trying your best to stop crying and ease the pain in your chest.
“i… i know why you were acting like that. its better for us to break up, chan.” as soon as the words came out of your lips, chan immediately looked at you. his expression showing a hint of shock, confusion, and horror. “w-what? how..? why?”
“dont ask me how, just be aware that i know the reason,” you sighed, ran your fingers through your hair, bit your lower lip, and looked at chan while he slowly started to stand up. “this is your dream, chan. why would you throw that away?”
“because you also became my dream, yn! i mean- fuck! im so in love with you, ever since we started dating, my dream is to see you walking down the aisle in your wedding dress and saying yes to me! i want you and you only! dont do this to me, dont do this to us.”
you clenched your fist. why is he making everything more complicated? all you wanted to do was kiss him until you lost your breath, but you couldnt. you had to stay strong and not back down.
“dont make this difficult. the decision has been made, chan. i dont want to keep in this relationship anymore. you should go after your real dream, not your little fantasy.”
“yn, please-“
“enough, chan,” you cut him off. “stop embarrassing yourself and go home.”
you opened the front door and went inside without even glancing at chan. you knew that if you looked at him one more time, youd give up, and you couldnt risk.
once the door was closed, all your walls were destroyed. you sat down on the floor with your head in your hands and started to cry as hard as possible, even losing your breath.
on the other side of the door, there was chan staring at it with no expression or thoughts. he had cried so much before that there were no tears left to cry, he just stayed there staring at the door for a few minutes before slowly turning around and making his way to his house with his heart broken.
if humans had seven hearts, chan was sure that all of his seven heart would be absolutely destroyed
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HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS
yn and chan date since their freshman year and are truly high school sweethearts, but will chan’s dream of becoming an idol get between their relationship?
masterlist — prev — next
taglist: @ivehypnosis @wonkierideul @ateez-atiny380 @noircheols @222brainrot @odxrilove @vixensss @starshuas
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doyouevenshipbr0 · 5 months ago
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borderline illiterate gruvia think piece.
happy gruvia day i guess!
so like…… im a grown woman. so believe me when i say at this point i rly couldnt care to be genuinely bothered by antis. like i will literally just block them lmao. ok yes i did write a whole fic revolving around a comment by an anti KFHDKSJWJEDK but i rly wasnt mad i was just genuinely inspired by what they said.
ANYWAYS! nonsensical 294820381002 word rant incoming from the “unbothered” grown woman.
seeing people say how gray is out of character in 100 yq/has stockholm syndrome are literally missing the entireeeee point of his and juvia’s relationship and its crazy!!
*side note, i think for the sake of helping gray’s character and development, they sacrificed a lot of cool things about juvia and a lot of her individuality which i do not like. but thats a rant for another time. btw do notttt even come for me bc she is literally still by far my fav character lmao*
im probably gonna go on for too long about this but gray’s whole fucking character throughout the whole story from beginning to end is centered around the fact that hes cold and closed off and grumpy and “too cool” and listen im not saying this is fucking rocket science or any type of transcendent literature by any means but i HAVE to point out that hes a fucking ice wizard. like. duh. im sure his character/personality was meant to go along with abilities i mean look at literally EVERYONE else in fairy tail.
ANYWAYS the reason he is this way is because he’s so used to losing all of the people he loves and even worse, hes used to so many people sacrificing themselves for him.
and it traumatizes him!! so many people hes been close to have died and he ultimately always thinks its his fault! lord knows im rusty with ft knowledge but his parents died (cant remember if it was in any type of sacrificial way teehee), Ur sacrifices herself for gray, ultear sacrifices herself for gray, and his dad dies AGAIN (once again, not sure if this was in a sacrificial manner lmao. i kindaaa think it was? maybe? shrug.). but POINT IS! theres a common theme of loved ones dying and/or sacrificing themselves for him. there might even be more people lmao idfk.
so what happens when he meets a girl who has an overwhelming and unwavering and infinite love for him?! he is freaked the fuck out!!! for a couple reasons! 1. he is so used to losing the people that love him and 2. he doesn’t even think hes deserving of any love to this degree!
then what happens? he PUSHES HER AWAY! KEEPS HER AT A DISTANCE!!!! because THATS ALL HE KNOWS!!!!!!!!! yes he has his friends who love him but no one has ever loved him in the way and abundance that JUVIA DOES! so he has to react appropriately! lots of love = lots of keeping her at an arms length!
so when he thinks he loses juvia in their fight with invel, and she comes back, dont we think it would make sense that he finally realizes he should accept his feelings for her? i mean remember when he said he promised her an answer AFTER the war? once again, like gray, pushing things off. and then he almost LOSES HER without ever telling her how he feels! so gray realizes life is short! theres no use in trying to deny ur feelings! these are common themes in like 85% of my gruvia drabbles lmao.
im not even saying that it was love at first sight for him and that gray liked her from the jump. bc i dont think thats true. i think we can finally see outward romantic feelings for juvia right after the tartaros arc, when juvia visits gray at his parents’ grave. but before that, i think juvia was a friend (wellll i feel like after the tenrou island arc he liked her more than a friend, but he didnt really realize how much more) who he cared about, and truly didnt know what to make of her because like i said, hes never known a person to love him so much and actually not die LMAO.
but my point is, juvia is the perfect person to be gray’s romantic partner. she is a person so full of love and so happy to love and she doesnt care who knows it. she is unequivocally herself and she wears her heart on her sleeve to the upmost extent.
it literally only makes sense for his character to end up with her!
u could argue gray doesnt need to end up with anyone at all bc he has his friendsssss and likeeee. sureee. fine. but what fun is that? i personally want to see the scared-of-love grump to find his person. i think, again, thats kind of the point of gray’s character- learning u are worthy of love, accepting love, and learning to love openly.
im sorry but literally what better happy ending for him than to be with juvia?
so fast forward to 100 yq, where he is just sooooo out of character apparently. dont we think that may actually be…. character development?
the boy who probably couldn’t even fathom a romantic relationship is now finally accepting he’s in love. he’s done pushing it off, he’s done denying, he’s done depriving himself of feeling love. thats a step in the right direction! now what? in true gray fashion, he thinks hes still not good enough! and that’s where we are now. he’s not confident, he thinks he’s weak, and he thinks he cant protect her. why? he knows she loves him. he knows he’s objectively a strong wizard. so why does he feel inadequate? CIRCLE BACK!!! TO WHO GRAY IS AS A PERSON!!!! SINCE DAY ONE!!! constantly in fear of losing his loved ones! thinking he can’t protect them! SCARED TO LOVE!
like im sorry the proof is soooo in the pudding and i totally understand if gruvia isn’t ur cup of tea but to say things arent making sense is silly to me! they actually make perfect sense!
and yknow what. im gonna go from a romantic standpoint to a realist standpoint. years ago, mashima said he likes gray and juvias dynamic and didnt have anything serious in mind for them anytime soon. so he kept that going for literally the entire series. well. he ended fairy tail alluding to the fact that gray and juvia were kinda together at that point. or he at least ended it with the pretty obvious conclusion that gray does in fact have feelings for juvia. so then when ft 100 yq starts what was he supposed to do? act like all of their development in the last arc never happened? that would be kinda hard to do!
whatever i just hope at least like 3 of these sentences were coherent lmao u guys get my point
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changbinsboobs · 3 months ago
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can u do skz most significant relationship (romantic)? i love your account!
💗
Skz's most significant relationship (romantic)
Quick disclaimer most of them came out a bit weird and not like how i intended but u can't tell energies what to do😂 so yeah most readings may not really answer the question asked.
Chan - 7oW, KnoC
Here im getting multiple stuff that's not really coherent and doesn't make sense when pieces together so im just gonna put here the little pieces im getting and you can see for urself if you can string things together.
His most significant relationship is with himself
His most significant relationship with a woman is with his mother(?) of his mother plays a huge role (in what?)
Im also getting strong references to the last energy reading i did on chan where he just got dumped and was really bitter about it.
Strong push and pull, like im feeling very strong resistance on his side but also very intense longing which makes me think of the fearful avoidant attachement
Maybe his mom plays a big role in his FA attachement and for him to experience a true significant relationship he has to face himself first and resolve it? Thats my take - but as i said this energy was very all over the place.
Lee Know - 2oP
Seems pretty balanced and feels nice to him and to his partner.
Changbin - KnoS, The Empress
Is yet to come. (When i ask for clarifying cards for what the most significant one until now was my question was completely ignored and i got once again told how much he wants a baby and is waiting for it.) i believe the most significant romantic relationship will be the one with his wife and mother of his children. When i wanted to know what the one until now at least was, he told me those don't matter and can't compare so its useless to even bring them up. He says its disrespectful to his wife😂 we love a man that has his wife's back💗🙌🏻
Hyunjin - 5oW, The World
Was a very turbulent one. But very needed. It changed his views on the world. Made him wiser. Was very hard for him tho. Yk transformation is almost always acompanied with disaster because we humans like whats familiar and need something to truly shake us up to force us out of our comfort zone to grow.
Han - 4oS
Hasn't had it yet.
Felix - 9oW, The Moon, 5oC, The Sun
Poor guy. Theres so much he wants to say, he's gushing and spilling all over the place but can't really express himself very well and i don't really know where or how to begin. Soo....i think he has has had a very significant relationship tho i don't really know for what purpose or how it went, i just see wounds, regret, hopelessness, depression, suppressing his light self...it seems really weird. I think he's the type of person that lets his emotions take over him completely and he lets himself be engulfed by them and surrenders very easily to his own pity and darkness. Idk what exactly happened there but it caused big feelings like this. They engulfed him, took over him almost completely and "casted a shadow over his sun". I can't read anything else past that. Although im getting that this was quite early in his life and i don't think its a factor in the present times. Im getting reminded of his little self during pre debut days, although idk for sure if it happened during that time period, but its for sure either somewhere during debut, pre debut era, trainee era or probably before that even, close before he chose to come to korea. Something in that time period.
Seungmin - AoW, Death, 8oW
So i think he had his most significant romantic relationship until now, but it ended (beautifully). And another significant one, even bigger, is comming. Not getting much else past that.
I.N - 3oW
Is yet to come. Or should i rather say he's on his way to it.
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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago
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TADC cast celebrating valentine's day!
figured i may as well make a TADC version of the previous post while im here tonight and waiting on making money for my roblox tycoon!! expect more typos than usual im fighting the sleepy demons but i gotta finish this tycoon because im !! i dont know LMAO
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CAINE:
i keep saying how down bad caine is for his partner, and i think he would amp it up on this day! hes going to drop everything for you and make sure youre going to be drowning in gifts and affection! hes going to be following you around listening to your every whim. gives you something every hour of the day, and he might take you out to that cute little restaurant he and bubble went to in the pilot... makes you a digital meal catered to your palette. probably takes your hand and 'kisses' the back of it when he sees you arrive to the dinner date... 8/10 deducted points because he might get overbearing at some point.... not sure if thats the right word, though...
POMNI:
oh i think shes the type to forget its valentines season! she would probably scramble to get you something... i think she would give you flowers, from the grounds! probably tries to hastily throw together a date for you, trying to make it sound like she had it planned this entire time... oh she feels so so bad, please reassure her that its fine..! its just her first valentines with you and shes already blowing it, at least in her opinion! otherwise, though, shes very sweet... although still a little tense in her word delivery when shes trying to flirt with you, but thats only because pomni in general is an awkward person, at least in my opinion.. 7/10 shes doing her best
RAGATHA:
oh she loves valentines day, me thinks... i think she would sew you something, perhaps a plushie and a matching blanket! of course it wouldnt be a valentines gift if it didnt have hearts all over it and had the classic holidays colors! i think she would wake you up with flowers..! i dont think she would expect much in return but she would be over the moon if you returned the same energy to her.... giving things is nice but receiving is also nice because it shows her that you think about her too! tries to spend the day with you as an extended hangout/date, very nice very sweet... you guys go to the carnival! 9/10 i love her
JAX:
oh he definitely forgets the holiday and doesnt scramble when he finds out what day it is. i think he might MIGHT share his sour candies with you but dont expect more, hes not going to be twisting himself in notes to right his wrong... plus i dont think he sees much point in the holiday, and perhaps holds a "eeeeewww feelings" sentiment, despite literally... being in a romantic relationship with you... hes a little.... errrr.... you know? though he doesnt really put up much resistance when you try to take him out on a date around the grounds, so hey, at least you got that going! he would totally shut it down if he wasnt interested 4/10
KINGER:
very romantic, very much so. i think he would write you a poem... probably stays up for a few nights trying to perfect it for you... gives you a bouquet of flowers, i think he might try to take you out on a picnic... generally very nice... leans deep into the gentleman role, lets you hold on to him while he escorts you around the grounds. tells you how pretty you are that day. gives you a lot of compliments, takes the leads with things... if theres a puddle hes going to let you walk over him/hj ... i think he would be a little stunned if you give him anything in return... not stunned in a bad way...! he was just prepared to be the one spoiling you today..! sheepishly tugs on the collar of his robe and bashfully thanks you... very sweet, love this man 9/10 but i admit im biased for kinger but also this just sounds like a dream
ZOOBLE:
i think theyre more lowkey. i think they make you a unique card, handcrafted... definitely radiates their aesthetic, but also theres some of your charm added into it because they were thinking about you... awww, their thoughts about you shined through their own vibe.. might give you some candy, if they can get their hands on some... doesnt expect a gift in return but their eye kind of sparkles if you present them something... might do better with a gift that generally reflects their personality rather than something thats in line with the holidays traditions of candy and flowers... they dont have the words to express their gratitude but they do take great care of whatever youve given them 8/10 i like them too grrrgrrr
GANGLE:
i think this comes as a shock to absolutely no one, but she makes you a card with her own hands. but i think it would be intricate. gangle seems like the type to better express her feelings through writing rather than verbalizing them... so for you, in this card, she pours herself out to you. theres multiple segments, youre going to have to hold it sideways and let it fall open, it probably hits the ground... she even make little pop-outs, of the two of you and hearts and other things... theres even some tuggy things to reveal portions and make things move... she looks so anxious giving it to you, perhaps thinking shes done too much,, but she awaits your response... yeah i dont think anything is going to top this, its deeply personal and its crafted for you and only you.. 10/10 i would frame it up honestly
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tossball-stick · 4 months ago
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heyy i saw your latest post about john's aromantic trutherism and i didn't exactly understand what you mean by that... could you explain? i too don't think he is actually in love with abigail if that's what you were saying...?
hiii!!! 1: thank you for asking about this im excited to write and analyze him in this way
2: plsplspls get the idea outta ur head that aromantic people cant love. noooo i couldnt have been misunderstood more. i wanna clarify that i do think john loves abigail. i just dont think that love is all that romantically motivated and ive got a few reasons to believe so.
3: uhhhh uhhh this ended up being like 2.5k words of analysis on john im sorry. no one on tumblr has asked me my thoughts about him before so this is the first time im talking about a lot of the stuff here and theres so much ive thought about johns character and its all messy and intertwined. itll be a little all over the place. i am deeply sorry.
okay. first reason? hes otherwise not much of a romantic. whether he wants to be or not, he falls flat on his face every attempt there is at being romantic with abigail (rarely do we see him be romantic with other women) is usually met with disdain, if there even are many to begin with. its rare to hear john say something pleasant about having a woman, and its rare to ever witness them having a good time together while in the gang. 
...up until the epilogue and john gets his shit together. but by that point i could argue further analysis as to how john isnt wholly himself by that point. hear me out.
john and arthur are two halves of one whole to me. its clear theres some sort of void in john after arthur dies, and he still holds the memory of arthur very very dear. he does his best to keep the memories alive, in fact, in a way to keep arthur alive. 
this starts extending to some kinda interesting parallels, though. writing and drawing in arthurs journal like he did, the hat being placed on johns head, john proposing with marys ring, the phrasing and tone of johns proposal is also shockingly familiar to arthur telling john that itd make him happy if john went to his family... after arthurs death, i find john taking on many of his traits even. he becomes more quiet and closed off, we see it even in rdr2 with arthur telking him to "knock it off with the whole being mysterious thing" or whatever. arthur claims its to act like dutch, but ill do you one better, its clearly just john idolizing his older brother and trying to be like him to be a proper man. this brings me to my next point...
the time period of rdr2!!! yayyy cowboys, the victorian era, Did u know. being a man was something you had to do in previous american and european cultures? this slowly started fading as we roll over into the 20th century, but there was a lot of emphasis placed on performing your role as a man. to be a good man, you must do xyz. otherwise, you are seen as immature, as a boy, as a child. 
throughout the entire series of red dead redemption, both 1 and 2, theres a lot of stuff pointing towards jogns struggle to Be A Man. arthur and dutch frequently refuse to let him grow up, still calling him "little john" and still treating him like hes a rowdy unruly boy that needs to learn better, not a man who should know better. hosea is the only man treating john like hes a man, and even then id say hes fairly lax with the guy. only as the story of rdr2 progresses do we see arthur start to shift his view towards john. not as a boy to stay a boy, because the gang isnt gonna be around forever. john cant keep being a boy. he needs to become a man, take care of his family. 
working off a distinctly gentleman influenced view of masculinity, johns inability to be a man is almost directly tied to his inability to be a proper romantic for his wife. compared to arthur, who is seen taken women on dates and flirting with them just to make them laugh at times. hes dancing with the ladies and helping them up and down the coaches, wagons, and horses. john like. just barely remembers to do that for abi in the epilogue. again, his failings to be a true romantic are tied with his failings as a man. 
in rdr1, this even extends to bill having the bit of dialogue, "you always were a scared little boy!" continuing to imply that john is not a man, hes never been a man. the only reason we can read him as a man Now is because we are going by arthurs definition of manhood. we can extend this further and say bill still views john as a boy because john does not live up to bills expectations of manhood- while arthur may view being a man as something chivalrous, more gentlemanly, bill clearly views masculinity as power and violence, without much to do with women. john does not live up to that, to bill, until the end.
if you read "masculinity" as "being romantic and chivalrous towards women", then, as john fails at being a romantic, he too fails at being a man. there are a lot of other ways john is immature and childish but this is a really easy one to point out if you know the time period and just how much emphasis was placed on both romanticism and manliness, and how they intertwined.
third reasoning for aro john: his family wasnt his for so much of his life. this one is another one that needs a bit of elaboration i fear.
the story of john and abigail getting together is simple enough. she joined the gang at 17 as a sex worker, slept around with some of the gang, then for one reason or another, very clearly believed that the pregnancy was johns. john runs away for a year.
in this time, we dont know a whole lot about what gang life was like without john. however, with arthurs comments about marrying abigail himself and loving her, and his close relationship with jack, i think its pretty clear arthur was the one being a man in johns place. when john left, there was a john shaped hole arthur had to fill. (i also like to think this because the potential misery of arthur having to lose his family a second time once john returns is fun to me.)
even in the story of rdr2, we see john Love and Care For his family, but its never in the same, romantic way arthur seems to involve himself in abi and jacks lives. john will defend them with his life, but when it actually comes to pulling himself up by his bootstraps and being a father or a husband, he kinda just drags his feet and gets lost. he has to be told to reunite with his family at jacks party, despite, in my eyes, his love for jack being very clearly displayed while they were looking for him. 
this is only bolstered by the conclusion of rdr2, with john and arthur on the mountain. arthur, in all his holy parallels, like jesus passing the virgin mary off to john the beloved, arthur tells john it would make him very happy if [john] went to be with his family and left. arthur is passing his family off onto john, the same as jesus passed his family onto saint john. (this one hits harder if you know the rest of the "arthur is jesus" parallels and symbolism but i feel like those would be more impactful as a web weave, and i cant make one right now haha. most obvious one i can think of to support this though is arthur being a scapegoat, dying for the gangs sins.) remember these points they are the most important and will come back later.
reason number four: "but javier-!" shhhhshshsh lemme talk. yes. john is infinitely more intimate with javier than abigail. however, again, we must take the time period into account.
not that far off from many disgusting redpill communities today, back in the 1800s it was typically expected for men to socialize with men and women with women. there was a certain level of bonding you only had with your wife, as well as a certain level of bonding you only had with the men who were close to you. 
i have got to grab this fandom by the shoulders and say rockstar did not make these men as affectionate as they should have been with each other, and thats completely platonically. this is taking romance out of the equation, these men considered each other brothers and family. they were all in a cult together. they would have been very close, and also very affectionate! they would confide in each other and hold each other and cry to each other. they would make gifts for each other and sing and dance together. you can at least see them all pass around beer bottles between each other.
do i think john and javier are closer than most? yes absolutely. do i think javier is in love with john in some way? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ehhh maybe. do i think john loves javier? yes absolutely. do i think its romantic? ....noo not really. their whole dynamic reads as one sided through and through to me. even if they ever got together im sure they were quickly apart again, and i doubt the relationship would have been fulfilling in the ways javier would want, leaving him longing still.
the "ive always loved you, even now" immediately funneling into a crate being shoved onto john to knock him over can also be metaphorical- javiers love is disarming to john Because he does not know how to react to it. hes never known how to react to it. hes never known how to react to love from anyone, because "love" seems to feel so much different for everyone but him.
reason ff. fiiiiive. dear god. im sorry for this being this long: john loves. he clearly loves very hard. he was clearly wrecked by arthurs death, he would clearly crawl through hell for his family, he was clearly hurt because his love for javier eventually stabbed him in the back. however, to me, a lot of this love feels similar to the love john has for dutch, or arthur, really. its familial, its platonic, it sure as hell isnt romantic. (even if the games themselves like to joke about it being so lol.)
its just clear to me that he loves. he cant not love jack and abi after everything hes done for them. he cant not love javier after being so close for so long. but in the same vein, he cant not love dutch for the same reasons. ysee what i mean? his devotion to his wife and child feels identical to the devotion to dutch, compared to arthur, whos devotion to eliza and isaac directly went against his devotion to dutch.
much like with dutch, where john was still seen as a boy, he will ferociously do the big things for his family (saving jack, defending the ranch, tackling gangsters and robbers). he will almost always fail to do the little things that would make him a true man, though. yknow. winding down, relaxing, just working, not getting involved in fights. spending some time with his family maybe. 
he can shape up and be good, he just never does. 
and i think thats why hes so torn between leaving on his own, leaving with his family, or staying with the gang. theres no difference between romantic, platonic, or familial love for him. when arthur tells him to go be with his family and john replies "youre my brother" its not only announcing arthur as family, but i think it only reinforces that blurred line of what love is for john. "i love you the same as them, why must i leave you behind? if they are family and i love them, then you too must be family, for i love you."
point six: i hope you remembered the first few points like i told you to. you did remember right
this brings us back around to john not being a man by not being a romantic, arthurs family being passed off to him, and also john not wholly being himself later on. in the epilogue, between 1899 and 1908, we hear about how john has been unable to avoid trouble and has them on the run still. whenever abigail asks something of him, he instead goes and does what he wants. its only after she leaves him (ultimate failure of being a man) do we see him start to shape himself up again, and i would argue this shaping up increases substantially after he reunites with charles. charles sets him on the right path and reawakens that memory of arthur. i imagine being close to blackwater also helps here. id argue due to charles' apparent closeness with arthur, and then sudden closeness to john due to john being all thats left of arthur... it makes john also feel like hes all thats left of arthur. i believe after speaking with charles and thinking to himself, he decides to fulfill the one dream arthur had, seemingly, at the end: take care of the family he had lost. well, eliza and isaac are six feet in the dirt so next best option: abi and jack. 
john starts to become quieter and more in his own shell- by rdr1 hes struggling to even really ask people for help with the most basic things. he becomes a lot more of a romantic speaker. he had always used fancy words with the gang, but never with charismatic purpose in the way i feel he does in rdr1. he starts making the decisions he thinks arthur would make. as a result, the hole that arthur left behind when he died, does not get filled by john. instead it simply gets filled with whatever arthur john can muster from within himself.
id also like to bring up john being the favorite, but not the golden boy. he was the youngest and most spoiled, but he was not the one dutch turned to for just about everything. he was still living in arthurs shadow, so i imagine all of that also plays a role in johns choice to live like arthur to get his family back, to be a man. he failed at being a man by his own merits. arthur was a real man by his own merits, lets just do what we've always done and look up to our older brother about it. copy what he does. clearly hes got it all figured out, even though you know he didnt, after reading the journal. 
this all is finally bolstered by john making the choice to kill micah and repeat the VDL cycle of violence, which ruins the perfect life he made for himself. he makes another decision HE, not arthur, HE would make, and thus has to deal with the consequences. 
in conclusion: i think john loves a lot and very hard. hes passionate about these people. but in his own words towards javier that start to become readable as projection, "hes a cynic that wants to be a romantic" and "hes all passion, no love ('no love' being how he perceives it, due to the views of those around him. he loves abigail and jack, he loved arthur, though because his version of love was different than theirs, its not read as love. therefore, he has none in his own eyes)." 
all of this coupled with a detached attachment style that leaves him cold and distant leaves him being tugged along in romances he truthfully does not feel the same about. he says he does, because he loves, but he doesnt know why the love isnt the same. so, clearly, since he loves, he must want the romance. he has to perform it for love regardless of if he truly does want romance or not. if he loves, he must be a romantic, and hes failing at being a romantic, so he cant be himself. he must be someone else in order to convey his love to his family.
i hope i got everything across alright ^-^ feel free to ask questions or send more asks ive got plenty more where that came from
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