#he takes stances. he's self-assured. he has confidence

[bullsh1tterz]

𝐖𝐇𝐘 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄?

To forgive yourself.

Most people have regrets. We all have to live with the consequences of decisions we wish we could take back. But what you regret is more than a mistake or short-sighted choice. You regret your very existence. Everything you've ever done is something you wish you could undo. You believe it is impossible to become the kind of person you want to be. You see yourself as a lost cause. You feel chained down by the love you receive, because you are sure you will only hurt anyone foolish enough to see something worth loving in you. You want to rid this world of yourself and feel trapped by all the hands holding you back. "I love you" is the phrase you most dread hearing. You wish that everyone else would hate you as much as you think you deserve. Perhaps you feel it would make ending it all so much easier. It's possible you have only stayed alive this long because you believe the only thing that would cause more misery than your life is your death. Either way, you are certain you live a life beyond salvation. And you are wrong. You have been made to believe your best is not enough, that your efforts have no value because you will always fall short. Perhaps too much was expected of you from the day you were born. I would not be surprised if the impossible was the very first thing you remember being asked to do. You can't stop regretting a failure that was always inevitable. You cannot forgive yourself for existing as the imperfect person you can't help but be. You believe you don't deserve forgiveness. But you do. Your human faults and limitations do not make you worthless. You have as much right to be here as anyone else. Your needs and boundaries are not a burden, and those who would treat them as such are the ones to be faulted. You're here to forgive yourself and the life you live. It will be difficult and it will not happen quickly, but it is a task that needs undertaking. Redeem yourself by slowly, gradually putting an end to your eternal atonement. Atone for the years you've lost to self-loathing by telling yourself that this existence of yours is nothing to repent for. You will not believe it at first. But you must try to treat yourself as you would a treasured friend, as those that love you know you deserve to be treated. Over and over, tell yourself the words that you can't yet bring yourself to believe, and one day you'll notice that they've started to feel as if they might be true, if only now and again. The love that chains you down, that you believe you don't deserve, it doesn't have to torment you. It can be a comfort, too. One day, you will be grateful for the hands holding you back. You deserve to know what it's like to be alive without wishing you weren't. Have faith and dedicate yourself to that.

+ this.

Tagged by: @downs1de ( tysm! ) Tagging: @cranetm, @ofmuse (lee!), @dnangelic, @praynot, @queenmakoto + Whoever else wants to do this! Nab it!

[thatfeelinwhenyou]

KINDRED — 09

It’s your final year of highschool, and your only goal is to graduate top of your cohort, as usual. Except as student council president, your advisor can’t seem to leave you alone. What happens when you take Decelis Academy’s top student, their star athlete and put them in front of a camera?

smau + written (2.4k words)

❥･• episode 9 — operation we-don’t-really-hate-each-other

As the production crew ushers you into the room, your heart races with excitement. The once-deserted classroom has undergone a remarkable transformation, now standing as a confessional studio bathed in the warm glow of overhead lights. An intricate web of cameras and meticulous lighting equipment encircles two inviting stools, positioned neatly right next to each other. The aura within is electric, humming with a blend of excitement and tension.

Amidst this carefully orchestrated symphony of activity, the leading producer paces about, her brows furrowed in concentration, as she meticulously scrutinises the script clutched in her hands for what you assume is the nth time. Nearby, a small brigade of cameramen work with precision, each minor adjustment made to capture the most exquisite angles. And it hit you—this is really happening.

You nod attentively as you receive instructions from the crew that they will be filming the opening sequence to the documentary today, asking only a few questions to you and none other than Yang Jungwon.

Fully embracing the captivating allure of reality TV, complete with its intriguing and heart-pounding suspense, the producer resolutely quashes your hopeful plea for a sneak peek at those darn interview questions.

Frankly speaking, you are a bundle of jitters. It was known to the whole school that you were the embodiment of preparation; concepts securely etched into your mind, and meticulously crafted notes that served as your guide through yours exams. But now, standing right smack in the middle of the room, you're like a lost puppy wandering into uncharted waters. Yet, determined to guard your vulnerability from prying eyes, particularly those of Yang Jungwon's, you employ a carefully constructed façade of coy self-assurance.

And then, as if on cue, he materialises—a figure cast in a demeanour that is both effortlessly casual and frustratingly unperturbed. A pang of annoyance mingles with the surge of nerves as he nonchalantly strolls into the room (just five minutes late, as always).

"Yang Jungwon?" The words cut through the air, tinged with a hint of impatience. "Take a seat, would you? We're on a tight schedule." The crew member ushers him with practised efficiency toward the vacant stool at your side. A sharp, involuntary cringe tugs at your features as your gazes inadvertently lock for a fleeting moment. It's like this weird mix of nerves and irritation—a little tug-of-war playing out in plain sight.

"Shall we begin?" The authoritative resonance of Producer Choi's voice cuts through the room, casting a spell of anticipation over the set. Settling gracefully onto her stool, she assumes a poised stance behind the camera. You offer a subtle nod, a silent testament to your readiness that doesn’t escape her notice. Jungwon's eyes, however, roll in a gesture that practically screams his disdain for what he perceives as your pretentious façade of a good-girl persona.

"Alright, let’s kick things off." Producer Choi declares, her tone dripping with intrigue. Her gaze sweeps over you both, the opening chord of this unforeseen duet. "We've got a series of questions lined up, and all you need to do is answer them as best you can."

“First off, let's get those introductions going." With a pointed gesture, Producer Choi directs her attention toward Jungwon, signalling for him to lead the charge.

"Yang Jungwon, age nineteen, Taekwondo athlete," he utters, his words a blend of confidence and haste. He concludes with an almost reluctant scoff, a rebellion against formalities he can't entirely suppress. The edge of his scoff doesn't go unnoticed; his message is clear even as he chooses to ignore your presence. You, however, are not one to be silenced. Rolling your eyes with a mix of exasperation and amusement, you address the cameras with a poised smile.

"Greetings, dear viewers. I am Park Y/N, a final-year student at Decelis Academy and student body president for the Decelis Student Council. It’s an honour to be here.” Your words hold an unspoken challenge, one pointed towards Yang Jungwon and the inexplicable sense of rivalry the two of you built up.

The camera falls silent as Producer Choi brings her decisive hand into play, her frustration tangible. "Jungwon, I need more enthusiasm, and Y/N, this isn't a grand ceremony; there’s no need for the formalities." The faint sound of a stifled laugh brushes against your ears, a reaction you steadfastly choose to ignore. "Let’s try that again."

"Moving on to the next question, could you each briefly describe your after-school curriculum?”

"For me," you begin with a candid note in your tone, "if there's no student council business demanding my attention, I’ll usually be in the library, my unofficial second home. I catch up on lectures and assignments there." You let out a small, self-aware chuckle. "I guess everyone in the school knows where to find me if they need something-"

"Oh, absolutely, she's practically a monk. Always got her nose in a book and apparently, other people’s businesses." Jungwon's voice cuts in with the precision of a finely honed blade, his words tinged with an undercurrent of amusement. The interruption draws a sigh of irritation from you, but you forge ahead. You're quick to retake the spotlight, your voice a dance of resolve and exasperation.

"I suppose you could say that. With free time on my hands, I've come to believe in putting it to good use." A casual shrug punctuates your response, and you cast a sidelong glance at the boy seated beside you, a mischievous smile playing on your lips.

"I mean, why not, right?" You continue, your words a challenge woven in playful nonchalance. "If there's time to spare, I'd rather channel it into something productive." The tilt of your chin conveys an invitation for his response—an unspoken duel of words and wits. You throw him an artful smile, a silent promise of your tenacity to match his.

"If we're talking productivity," Jungwon retorts, his words a measured challenge, "I'm an athlete. So, after-school training is a part of my routine. Not everyone's got their head buried in books.” His gaze locks with yours, and the tension between you is palpable.

It's like a duel of wills—a silent battle neither of you intends to back down from. The intensity is so thick, it's as if you're caught in a staring contest, each vying for the upper hand. The world around you fades into the background, leaving only the simmering tension that crackles like electricity.

The only interruption is a slight cough, and the reality of the situation rushes back as awareness dawns that you're being captured on camera. Reality snaps back into focus, and you're acutely aware of the weight of expectations resting on your shoulders. The watchful eyes of not only the production crew but also the prestigious universities, the very ones your mother has been weaving dreams of, are watching your every move.

Your glare softens, your defiance tempered by a reminder of your surroundings. With a subtle adjustment of your posture, you manage a quiet apology under your breath, a concession to the circumstances.

Jungwon, on the other hand, wears a triumphant smirk, his victory achieved by stirring a reaction out of you, evidently content that he managed to get under your skin.

"There seems to be some tension lingering between you two. Care to elaborate on your relationship?" Producer Choi's inquiry comes with a raised eyebrow and an undercurrent of curiosity clearly dancing in her eyes. The unspoken rivalry that simmers between you and Jungwon has clearly captured her attention.

Unbeknownst to her before casting the two of you, this uncharted territory has presented itself as a thrilling discovery, painted across her face in a delighted smile. The promise of raw content and untamed drama is endless—the very essence of what a reality TV show thrives upon.

"We're exactly as you see it," Jungwon answers, his voice cool and his words laced with a mix of indifference and disdain. He rises from his seat with an air of defiance, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "No relationship, just mutual detestment." His tongue clicks with emphasis, an unspoken challenge hanging in the air. "Are we done here? I've got places to be."

Producer Choi concedes to his request, her words are a concession to the present circumstances. "I suppose that’s enough for today. We'll reconvene after school at your respective activities." Her tone takes on a breezy cadence, but it's clear that her expectations won't be sidestepped.

"As we discussed, Mondays will be separate shoots, but to uphold our end of the bargain, we need both of you together for the rest of the week. Agreed?" Her assumption of authority, coupled with her audacity to steer the situation, is a stark contrast to the formality she adopts when conversing with your teachers. While annoyance simmers within you, you refrain from voicing your thoughts.

The feeling doesn’t seem to be an isolated thought when your gaze shifts to Jungwon, finding his eyes locked on yours. The unspoken words that sit on the tip of his tongue threaten to escape, his teeth grazing his lower lip in contemplation. However, he brushes off the impulse, and his exit from the classroom is marked by a subtle tension, with the cameras following closely behind him—a testament to the intricate predicament you've found yourselves in.

You, on the other hand, leave the classroom after wrapping up a few more questions. Missing your first period was already stressful enough, but there's something about Producer Choi that sets off alarm bells in your head, reminding you of those bossy characters you thought only existed in dramas.

Lost in thought, you walk down the deserted hallway, quickening your pace to make it to second period on time. Your distraction becomes even more apparent as you inadvertently pass by Yang Jungwon, leaning casually against the lockers.

"Park," his familiar voice halts you in your tracks, and you glance back to find him looking straight at you. Was he... waiting for you?

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have places to be?” You mock him, recalling his cold demeanor in the classroom. He scoffs in response, rolling his eyes, “Can we talk?”

"Depends. If you're here to lecture me about Taekwondo again, save it."

“As much as I would love to annoy you with my apparent obsession with my own sport, but no, it’s about the documentary.” Jungwon pushes himself off the lockers and walks over to you. Just then, from the corner of his eye, he spots the production crew turning the corner, and in a fit of panic, he grabs your hand and pulls you away from the building. Before you could even process it, he was already dragging you half-way across the campus.

“Let go! What is it that you can’t just tell me over text?” You manage to yank your hand free, irritation simmering. “It’s already bad enough that I have to put up with that tyrant of a producer; I really don’t need you adding to it.”

"Normally, I'd disagree, but thank fucking God you find that woman as irritating as I do."

“The way she spoke to us? Sure, I signed a contract, but I’m not her puppet.” He places a hand on his hip, an action oddly reminiscent of your grandmother when she would scold you for not visiting her more often. The image loiters in your mind as you stifle a laughter that unfortunately doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungwon.

“What’s so funny?” He raises his eyebrows, and you shake your head to brush him off, but it only fuels his curiosity even more. “I’m assuming you dragged me all the way here to discuss Producer Choi?” His annoyance is evident, as he nods vigorously. It's an unexpected sight—Yang Jungwon, the epitome of nonchalance, riled up by a woman not much older than him. It's kind of endearing, but you would rather die than admit that out loud, so you bury that atrocious thought in the back of your head.

“Speaking of which, she couldn’t even hide her delighted expression when she found out we practically hate each other-”

“Whoa, ‘hate’ is a pretty strong word. If that's your opinion of me, okay, but I definitely don't hate you. Just a minor difference." You spoke without thinking yet again, and although Beomgyu would be very disappointed if he were here with you, the sentiment is out there now.

Jungwon seems taken aback by your confession, hurriedly clearing his throat. "As I was saying, she's clearly trying to stir up drama, as if I'd willingly play along." He scoffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest, his tongue poking the insides of his cheeks.

“I know you’re taking a risk on this documentary, and don’t even bother denying it because I know you’re trying to gain publicity and favour.”

"How did you—did Sunoo tell you?"

"That's not the point; the thing is, I am too."

"And what university would even take YOU?" He rolls his eyes at your teasing, not bothering to argue.

"I'm an athlete, remember? A Taekwondoin on top of that. I have a really important competition next month, and God forbid that I be shown on national television as someone who picks fights with girls. It goes against the sport's values." He explains, trying to get his point across. Sadly, it flies over your head.

"Seriously? My point is that we need to act as if we don't hate—well, dislike—each other. I know we said we'd ignore each other, but now she's making you sit in for my trainings and me study with you in the library. It's physically impossible." He shudders at the thought of having to even step foot into that place, and though you really wish you didn’t have to be around him, Jungwon is right—there's no escaping this situation.

You sort of know you're heading down the deep end when Producer Choi insists on having you and Jungwon sit side-by-side in class, despite the documentary's official filming schedule commencing only after school. The array of cameras meticulously arranged around your classroom, ostensibly to capture mundane "B-Roll" footage, fuels your suspicions. Deep down, you're well aware that their true purpose is to capture any moment of vulnerability or connection between you and Jungwon.

It doesn't require a genius to discern their ulterior motive—they're determined to exploit your relationship for the camera's sake. The bizarre part is, this isn't even a dating show. The intention behind it all remains an enigma, leaving you to grapple with the looming uncertainty that now defines your academic life.

I guess you can say that ‘Operation We-Don’t-Really-Hate-Each-Other’ is a go.

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[thegrunkiest]

Overanalyzing the Spectral Assassin Dialogue

When there's a character with scarce material to draw from for writing, I tend to read into lines a lot, despite it being very likely that It's Not That Deep.

Lucien Lachance is no exception to this; in my opinion his comments in Skyrim actually offer more hints at his character than in Oblivion (aside from being very versed and pious in the Dark Brotherhood's doctrine - that's a personal interpretation I will not shake 😌). Wes Johnson, as always with his unique voices, also gives us some flavor and nuance to think on, whether intentional or not. Here are my personal takeaways from some of his dialogue!

"An ancient city, Markarth. Built by the Dwemer, the dwarves of old. To think, an entire race... eradicated. Not even I can take credit for that feat."

This suggests to me a bit of an ego. Given this comment it's safe to say he is quite self-assured in his skills and reputation, which I suppose can be taken as a healthy confidence, too. Either or! Though I like thinking arrogance personally.

Also... the way he utters "eradicated"? Sounds wistful, almost. Perhaps he derives personal, sick pleasure in the idea, or perhaps is pleased by the fact such a large-scale notion of death and discord would surely please Sithis greatly.

"You wish to kill me? Someone has already had that honor. Hah!"

"Ha ha! I've suffered worse!"

Could be taken as simple statements - because yes, obviously, he was killed and it was brutal... but what interests me is that he's laughing about it. He's not mad nor morose over his death. Perhaps he's grown to accept the circumstances over two centuries, or sees it as a theatric close to his personal legend.

"Someone has already had that honor" is a tasty tidbit that furthers this idea; I perceive this as an ego similar to the Markarth quote. He sees it as something of an achievement to have been killed: the infamous Lucien Lachance, acclaimed Speaker of the Black Hand, epitome of what the Dark Brotherhood stood for, finally taken to the grave? Be it for false accusations - with his death, no doubt the world became just a bit safer...

"Have you heard the tale of Mathieu Bellamont, and the Great Treachery of Cheydinhal? Kill a boy's mother, and vengeance festers in the son."

The famous line. To me this actually adds on to the above quotes - it's interesting just how... indifferent he sounds about it. He words it as though he's about to read us an Edgar Allen Poe story, rather than harp about some unfortunate events that ultimately destroyed - and prematurely ended - his life. Again, perhaps he's had lifetimes to come to terms with it, but it's just compelling how he's not outright angry. Which honestly? I feel like that'd insult Bellamont more than anything.

"Ah, yes. Solitude. Seat of the High King of Skyrim. Messy business, kingslaying. Ah, but so very satisfying..."

Oh yeah. He's undoubtedly killed a king in the past; it sounds here like he's speaking from personal experience. Take that as you will. Had it been a previous High King of Skyrim, giving a motive to his stated journey through Skyrim in his youth? I'm curious if there's any lore that could align timelines and point to who he could have assassinated, even if it could be chalked up to happy coincidence.

"In my time, the Blades protected the Emperor. It would seem these Penitus Oculatus will prove equally incompetent."

"My time saw the assassination of an Emperor as well. Alas, the Dark Brotherhood did not have the honor of that kill."

He seems to somewhat revel in Uriel's assassination though confesses some... envy, perhaps?... that it was not the Brotherhood's work. He also blatantly criticises the Blade's failure (ouch, man, don't do my boy Baurus like that!) I mean, it goes without saying his allegiance lies with the Brotherhood above anyone else, and he's evil and nasty, but these quotes convince me he doesn't hold any strong political stance. Complimenting the kingslaying quote and in tune with slaying the Emperor in Skyrim. Powerful targets are just high-prized game - and an acclaimed opportunity to orchestrate Sithis's will on a grander stage.

"Yes. Kill the chef, and then steal his very identity. For that is the true death."

This is most likely just some idle ruminations. It has me thinking nonetheless. Not out of the realm of possibility that he's assumed false identities himself to get to more valuable targets, of course.

I have some wild ideas that have branched from this though. What if?... what if he's stolen identities on a personal level? Aliases, if you will. Some serial killers are notorious for it (take H.H. Holmes for example). What if Lucien Lachance isn't actually Lucien Lachance? (Okay, this one's the total crackpot theory of the bunch but it was a fun idea to throw out there)

[fromallie]

Fulfilled Seat ☆ ｡ - ᴛꜱᴜᴋꜱʜɪᴍᴀ ᴋᴇɪ

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characters: tsukishima kei x reader

contains: nothing much, just buildup to an eventual romance !!

a/n: hi there!! this is my first ever post on tumbr, i hope that whoever ends up reading this enjoys it >> this post is heavily inspired by that one scene from kimi ni todoke, i saw it whilst scrolling on instagram and thought it was too cute to not write about. again, i hope you enjoy this little self indulgent post <3

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moving to karasuno wasn't the most pleasant experience, leaving tokyo to live in a more reserved area like miyagi was well.. a new experience, it was less busy and a lot more quiet which was a welcomed change.

however, your parents had decided to move to miyagi in the midst of the school year, having moved to a foreign area, you didn't have any friends. it's not that you were shy or anxious, confident but reserved is how you would describe yourself. however, your confidence seemed to dissolve when it came to meeting new people, so as the weekend ended you were dreading your first day of school.

entering the school, you immediately headed to the office to get a map of the school and your schedule. following the directions on the map, you approached your classroom and as you entered you could see your now classmates gathering around a box.

the teacher had noticed your arrival and smiled warmly, "you must be our new student, y/n l/n. you've come at a good time, we're currently drawing out numbers for everyone's seating arrangements." nodding your head at the teacher, you drew a number from the box, 19, you were seated at the back of the class which was pleasant.

"oi, the new student has 19, what are the seats around them?" "7, 6 and 13, i hope i don't get any of those numbers." "shit, i have number 6, i have to sit right next to them, akira swap with me."

you silently endured the harsh comments from your classmates, settling in your seat wondering if it was really that bad having to sit next to you. shaking away the negative thoughts, you assured yourself that they probably preferred to sit next to people they were already accustomed to.

though, that didn't bring much ease to your now soured mood, you sighed as you watched the clock count down the minutes when class would start.

"quit sulking, you should pity the new student for having to sit next to someone as dunce as you."

hearing such kind words, you were thankful that not everyone in the classroom had distaste for you. however, you were surprised when the person who had defended your dignity snatched away the numbered paper from the impolite classmate and sat down in the seat next to yours.

still in shock, your eyes refused to leave the sight of your tall and blonde saviour. he must of noticed your staring as he questioned your dazed state, "didn't your mother ever teach you manners, princess? you might want to lift your jaw, unless you plan on getting drool all over the table.”

quickly you had corrected your stance and had stood up, going between the motions of bowing and standing. "i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to stare. please don't take offence from my actions, i was just a little shocked is all."

the tall and blonde boy had laughed, clearly entertained by your display of unease. "there's no need to apologise, my name is tsukishima kei. what's yours, or would you rather i continue to refer to you as princess?"

fixing your hair, you sat down feeling slightly flustered from essentially embarrassing yourself, "my name is y/n l/n, i've transferred from nekoma high."

the school bell had rung and only then did you notice the stare of your classmates as they had begun to take their seats, "nekoma, huh? well, princess y/n, i look forward to being your seatmate for the rest of the year."

if your cheeks were previously lukewarm, now they would be boiling. you ridiculed yourself from getting so easily worked up and tried to focus on listening to the teacher and taking down notes.

as the heat started leaving your cheeks, you smiled to yourself, perhaps moving to karasuno wouldn't be as bad you predicted.

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[theheirofthesharingan]

Hi, so I know you are often using the Itachi Shinden novels as your source for in-depth discussions of Itachi (and other characters, but mostly Itachi), even though a big chunk of the fandom considers them not canon. What is your stance on the validity of the Naruto novels?

Itachi Shinden novels are the most faithful to canon novels, even though they have their own moments of discrepancy. They don't invent new, crucial things that contradict the canon material. Usually, whenever I mention something from the novels, I specify it with 'in the novel it says this", meaning this part doesn't directly come from manga, but since novel mentions it which was alluded to in the original material (or databooks), I'm using it in my analysis. For the most part, though, I take information from them with a pinch of salt.

Nearly everything in the novel was either directly stated in the original text, was alluded to, or just mentioned in the passing, and the novels elaborated on it. They also entirely validate Obito's story of Itachi and the Uchiha clan's oppression by the village.

When Obito says Itachi was used by the system, manga definitely gives us a peak into it in form of Itachi and Danzo scene in Itachi's flashback as well as Itachi and Fugaku scenes in Sasuke's flashbacks. Itachi and his distance from the family and his clan, the reason behind it, and how badly it all affected him.

Itachi was a self-assured kid, who never pitied himself, had confidence in what he did, thought was right and took decisions accordingly. Still he got manipulated by Danzo, and Hiruzen was useless. He was a child even though he himself didn't use that excuse to feel bad about himself. These things are mentioned in manga through Sasuke's interactions with the two men as well as his own flashbacks. The novels explained the process in extreme detail. Denying the novel is canon doesn't change much because it's only an elaboration of what already exists in the story and has been told to us.

Itachi and Shisui's interactions too. Shisui was important to Itachi, so much so that his death forced Itachi to awaken his Mangekyo Sharingan. Denying the legitimacy of the novels as 'not canon' doesn't help much because it didn't invent Shisui and Itachi's bonding and Shisui wasn't just a filler character. What the novel is doing is, it's giving us the story why Shisui was so important to him. Whatever your version of Itachi and Shisui's friendship, the end result is that they were extremely important to each other.

The death scene of Shisui was slightly different in the novel. Shisui commits suicide in manga. And in the novel he convinces Itachi to push him off the cliff. Again, it's not relevant, because it doesn't actually make Itachi a culprit or any less of a victim.

Itachi's relationship with his parents and Sasuke is the core for me in the novel as well as for his assessment as a character. His aloofness from his family, their lack of support, and his gradual descent into the darkness is shown from his point of view. And how Sasuke was used to make Itachi agree to the massacre. It's all available in detail in the books.

There are many things the novel contradicts, but to me the important things are the ones I mentioned above. His closest bonds with his parents, Sasuke, and Shisui. He was brutally used by the system, was alone, and then had to accept a mission that ended his life before it truly began. That's what the novel emphasizes. And that's what matters to me as well.

The novel states Obito was involved in the coup d'état planning and was manipulating Yashiro Uchiha, but there's no concrete proof of it in manga, so we can't say. However, since Obito is sneaking into the village, he definitely would have taken advantage of the coup and carried out whatever he was planning. So whether he was actively involved in the coup isn't as important to me as much his sneaking into the village is.

The people who claim Itachi novels aren't canon are mostly his haters. On one hand they are convinced Obito was lying about itachi being in war as a kid, Itachi being used by the elders etc., is a lie because Obito is an unreliable narrator. The same people in the same breath also fully claim Obito was telling 100000% truth when he told the clan was planning the coup because they were oppressed. Obito's reliability as a narrator is conditional of what they want to believe of his story.

Manga briefly hints to these things, but in detail they're explored in the novel. Plenty of pro Konoha people use manga to "prove" Uchiha weren't oppressed, they also claim novels aren't canon. Then pro Uchiha people who believe Uchiha were oppressed based on the information received from Obito refuse to view novels as canon because novels challenge their hateful opinion on Itachi.

In the end, I personally do not care. I only care about Itachi's novels. I also liked Naruto Jinraiden, but it has very little relation to anything that's mentioned in the original text. The rest of the novels (Sasuke's primarily) are aimed at SS as a ship and its fans. And something to do with Boruto, I guess.

Even then, Itachi's novels are not my primary source of info for analysis, but definitely work as a supplement, especially for Itachi who adds so much to the story, but has very, very little content from the reliable narrators. To each their own, I guess. And I also don't have the energy to argue with people who think otherwise. Whatever makes them happy, haha.

[oldhalloweentape]

🐸Lúcio/D.Va/Junker Queen👾 x 💞 (fem) Reader⚡️

(Request here! This was a treat to work on ngl, it really made me think about what their stances would be in a situation like this, thank you so much for this request!)

Lúcio

- He’s the most understanding of the three, ever since he was a child he’s been very aware that people, even the ones he cares about have their struggles that can deeply mess with them as much as he wouldn’t want them to be.

- He learns as much as he possibly can about your ED, not beating around the bush when it comes to it. He’s determined to help, to be there for you in this hard stage in your life.

- He may be very lax in many situations, but he doesn’t exhibit that tendency with your condition, he treats it with care, empathy, and a kind of seriousness that is needed for this situation.

- However, despite the realness of it all, his optimism shines the most in the way he cares for you, never minding your “messes”, and helping you during your setbacks.

- It could never possibly be “rotten work” to him, you’re the most beautiful soul he’s had the fortune to meet, he loves you, you’re his girlfriend— The other half to his melody.

- He aids in a way that mirrors this outlook, gently reminding you to eat or making you healthy/nutritious foods that are frog/music note shaped to make it more fun, that’s just how Lùcio is.

- Every step is met with encouragement and warmth from Lùcio, he believes that you are an insanely strong person for dealing with something as daunting as this.

D.Va

- Hana has to be the one who relates to this the most without actually being like that, she knows what it’s like to overexert yourself to find the means to an end… But hers stems from a different perspective so she handles it with caution and determination much like Lùcio’s.

- She’s very caring and worried about you, trying her best to protect you and keep you safe, in more ways than one. Her heart couldn’t possibly handle seeing you suffer like that, and for good reason, so she’s quick to try to find solutions, consulting people like Ana and Angela on the topic, and then promptly using that information to aid you with this condition.

- As busy as she is, she makes a point to try to be a constant companion who you can rely on, with Hana, as well as the medical professionals she insists you have, helping you form a schedule that fits you the most so you can create a stream consistently with your naturally unstable ailment.

- Every step back is met with comfort and a promise to be there always, even at the darkest of moments as she kisses your cheek softly.

- She’s an innately loving person, who can’t help but keep on loving and trying to find a way to help others beyond herself, with you as her girlfriend being very high on that list.

- Hana, I believe, is the kind of person who believes that love takes work and effort to maintain, so, she couldn’t possibly want to back down— Not when someone who means a lot to her needs her.

- Safe assured, Hana will always be there for you, helping, caring, loving, and always making sure you can positively live your life.

Junker Queen

- Odessa, unlike Lùcio, doesn’t really understand at first— Not being able to wrap her head around it as she sees you suffer so much over your self image.

- Don’t get her wrong, she does comfort you and tries to help with the limited resources Junkertown has at times to aid her in her self appointed mission in making you better, but it takes her a while to grasp what is happening.

- But when she does she handles it in a firm, but loving manner, having you monitored and giving you almost constant reminders that you need to eat and that, yes, you are a captivating woman who was able to catch the eye of the Junkerqueen.

- Underneath that rough and overly confident personality is a leader who, while she may not have every little resource at the tips of her fingers can and will use what she does have to relieve the woe you’re experiencing.

- Odessa’s compliments nearly triple in quantity, trying so hard to make you see what she sees, after all, what the Queen decrees is fact and who can fight against fact?

- She holds you close at night, murmuring words of love and attraction over you, unable to comprehend how someone could perceive you as being unwanted, let alone yourself when she, the Junkerqueen, loves you so.

- You are hers and she is yours, and no one can ever stop her from being adamant about it.

(Sorry this wasn’t as many as I would’ve done for a single character post 💔)

[heyiwrotesomethings]

shinobu x FEM reader

shin has a nightmare and needs some comfort

have good day.

Comfort

Shinobu Kochou x She/Her Reader

A/N: A lil’ hurt/ comfort for you. Hope you enjoy! Word Count: 924

Shinobu awoke to the sound of her own strangled sobs, she turned her face into her pillow to muffle them as she tried to calm down, hoping no one had heard her.

She had another nightmare. They were always most prevalent in the weeks leading up to the anniversary of Kanae’s death.

They always started the same. She would be sitting with Kanae and her parents, laughing and cuddling together, still young and unburdened with the knowledge of demons. Then the doors burst inward and clatter to the ground, paper walls, tearing. Her mother, ripped away from her protective stance over her. Her father, dragged across the floor as if he weighed nothing, nails digging into the tatami strongly enough to shred it.

Her little hands fisted tightly in Kanae’s clothes, she was surprised to find that Kanae wasn’t wearing the kimono she had on just mere moments ago, she wore a uniform, she had grown older and her hands completely engulfed Shinobu’s own.

Live a normal life, Shinobu.

Shinobu would then look up, fear easily readable within her eyes. Kanae smiling down at her, with blood trickling thickly past her lips, a dark, damp stain forming on her uniform, growing quickly.

Shinobu’s little hands would scramble to stop the bleeding, but it was always futile. All the while Kanae was laissez-faire, telling her it was okay, that she could give up.

That she was too small to stop him anyway.

Shinobu shuddered and angled her head away from her pillow just enough to take a few ragged breaths.

She felt awful. She had lost count of the hours of sleep she had lost. People were starting to notice her lack of energy in the past few days, she couldn’t afford to lose anymore sleep. However, she could not bring herself to even close her eyes, the image of Kanae still fresh in her mind.

After weeks of torment, Shinobu rose from her bed. She had tried to keep her struggles private, but she couldn’t stand to lay alone in her room a minute more. On trembling legs, she dragged her feet out of her room, coming to a cautious stop in front of (Y/n)’s door.

Biting the bullet, she rapped her knuckles against the thin wood and waited to see if she would be heard. Part of her almost hoped she wouldn’t be. Though she and (Y/n) had known each other for quite some time, they hadn’t been dating long. She was anxious to share anything less than her ideal self.

For better or for worse, (Y/n) opened the door, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

“Shinobu?” She fought off a yawn, “Do you have a mission?”

“No, I’m sorry for waking you.” Shinobu felt unusually inadequate. She knew what she should be saying, but her throat had tightened and she could not get anything else out.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” (Y/n) took Shinobu’s hands in her own, gasping when she felt how icy her skin was from sweat long since cooled. “Why are you so cold?”

Shinobu pressed her face against (Y/n)’s chest, trying very hard to keep herself together. This was a mistake, what was she doing here crying inconsolably to her in the middle of the night. Surely (Y/n) thought she was a mess. Not at all the confident and poised Hashira she had fallen for.

(Y/n) let go of Shinobu’s hands so she could press her closer in a loving embrace. She rubbed soothing patterns up and down Shinobu’s back while she shuffled into her room. When she had Shinobu inside, she closed the door and led her to the futon with its sheets still all rumpled.

“Come sit with me, there we go,” (Y/n) pulled their blanket over Shinobu’s shoulders and rubbed her arms in an attempt to warm her up. “Would some tea help? You’re trembling.”

Shinobu shook her head, keeping her hands woven in the fabric of (Y/n)’s clothes to assure she would stay.

“Just lay with me,” she whispered hoarsely, “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“I won’t leave you alone.” (Y/n) promised, and by the serious look she wore, Shinobu believed she would never leave her side again if she asked it. She didn’t see her as a burden at all. She loved her whether she was put together or an emotional wreck and it made Shinobu’s heart beat faster.

(Y/n) laid down, arms spread wide to receive Shinobu, but she hesitated to join her.

“What is it?” (Y/n) asked.

“It’s stupid.” Shinobu mumbled.

“No it’s not. If it matters to you, it matters to me. What can I do?”

“Could you… let me hold you instead? I don’t want to feel small right now.”

“Sure, a perfectly reasonable request.” (Y/n) smiled warmly and kissed Shinobu’s forehead.

Then she turned her back on her and got comfortable. Shinobu followed suit and slung one arm over (Y/n) and snuggled in close, digging her other arm under (Y/n)’s neck as well with a little added assistance.

(Y/n) skimmed her fingers against the knuckles of the hand that rested loosely over her chest. She began to hum a simple tune and Shinobu nuzzled her face near the nape of her neck. After some time had passed, Shinobu’s eyes had closed without her realizing it. The nightmares were kept at bay for the rest of the night and in the morning when Shinobu was still sound asleep, (Y/n) watched over her and made she wouldn’t be disturbed until she was ready to wake on her own.

[artbyblastweave]

Drop your Lois Lane hot takes

(also if you're not a Superman fan, what would you recommend starting off with?)

So MAWS Lois Lane very pointedly has some significant character flaws, generally justified by her backstory and often the opposite side of the conventional "positive" Lois Qualities that she exhibits. Trust issues stemming from her canon-typical dysfunction with her father, upstream of her whole truth-to-power thing. Self-esteem issues and a sense of inadequacy, upstream of her tenacity and singleminded pursuit of her goals. Downstream from her self-esteem issues you've got a sensitivity to perceived betrayal or the idea that people are only pretending to value her. Self-assurance and confidence... that manifests as bouts of myopic thinking or lack of consideration for others. There's a level on which I like this more than S:TAS- she was fun in that, but the purpose there wasn't to give her any kind of arc. She's much more dynamic in this, she has a palpable crisis, and it all combines into a perfect cocktail demonstrating why she reacts so very, very badly to being out of the loop on Superman. In her position it's not insane to assume that Clark expressed interest in her just to jerk her around and sabotage her investigation more thoroughly. But in practice... I (and those watching with me, who joined me in screaming at the TV a bunch during the last couple episodes) felt that the narrative was both-sidesing the dynamic a bit uncomfortably, because Clark has very good reason to not trust Lois specifically with sensitive information. Their first interaction involved her manipulating him for the sake of advancing her career. She's been screaming from the rooftops that she dislikes Superman, wants to expose Superman's secrets, and he was on the verge of coming clean with her before that came up. She functionally threatens to kill herself to force him to out himself, right after he got back from the government (and very likely her father specifically!) trying to assassinate him. Very little of this was coherently voiced when they're having it out, and as a result it felt like the narrative was much more sympathetic to Lois's stance than Clarks, treating his concealing the information as the root of the problem here. And when Jimmy brings up that he's known for years but understood that it was probably a deeply personal situation that Clark would bring up when he was comfortable- that's not a catalyst for introspection about whether Lois is entitled to the information, it isn't used as the point to push the idea that both parties have valid motivations here. It's mostly just the catalyst for another gag where now Jimmy is upset that Clark told Lois first (without. You know. the context.) I walked away thinking that Clark doesn't have a disproportionate amount to apologize for in this situation. Not nothing, but not the brunt. The reconciliation arc really breezed past the fact that she threw herself off a building to force the issue. Any relationship where throwing yourself off a building is a tool in the toolbox seems like it might be on shaky ground, communicatively!

The thing is, well, honestly there's a few things. I'm willing to accept off the bat that I might be lily-orcharding a perfectly unobjectionable creative decision to some extent, because by default I'm really biased in favor of anyone trying to keep deeply compromising information about their identities away from their loved ones for fear of their negative reaction, and that's coloring the intensity of my negative response. Another thing is that I think the show is kind of a victim of the megashort season runs of contemporary cartoons- I mean we'll be lucky if we get 30 episodes of this show total, every arc is gonna be at least somewhat pinched when you get 10 episodes and change per season. And a third, final thing is that the season isn't over yet, and they've left themselves with a great springboard from which to address my misgivings.

Clark leans into the idea that he's the one at fault, begs forgiveness, and so on, but that's actually in character for this version; given that one of his biggest drives is to be accepted, it makes sense that he'd do whatever he thought he had to get things smoothed out as quickly as possible, even if there's still a lot going unaddressed below the surface. And Episode 7 (6?) is basically entirely about how Lois's character flaws, scaled up and appended to power, can turn out really really bad. Kryptonite is introduced in this continuity by a bunch of alternate-universe Lois Lanes who try to kill Superman without giving him the benefit of the doubt- all while never expressly communicating to anyone that the root of their concern is how badly things went with their own Supermen. Lois meets an army of herself and immediately, correctly assumes that they aren't on the up-and-up, that they're holding something back. And the episode ends with her in possession of both a Superman-killing tool and information engineered to set off her well-established paranoid tendencies about Clark.

So if the show is being smart- and there's a very good chance that it is- the next leg is going to be about how for a superhero, just being open about your secret identity to your loved ones isn't necessarily going to be enough to defuse the underlying tensions and failures to communicate; the fact that they really speed-ran the reconciliation is going to turn out to be deliberate, a bandaid fix on the deeper problem, and a much worse reckoning is in the pipes once it becomes obvious that Task Force X is headed by her estranged father. (Which seems like the twist they're going for with that- they've never said the general's name out loud, so I think they're going for a fakeout where we all assume it's Wade Eiling but it turns out to actually be Sam Lane.) However. I've definitely watched a bunch of shows where I kept going "If the show is smart," "If the show is smart," and then the show wasn't smart, and it just turned out that the writers themselves hadn't chewed on the implications of what they were depicting as much as I had. I've got high hopes, though.

(tagging @st-just, @best-wizard, and @howlingguardian, who all also asked for the elaboration.)

[medusanova]

Andylind + Andreas walking around half-naked to make Roz lose her poker face

My humblest offering for Andylind April xx

Happy, happy birthday Anne!!

Interference

She comes across him sparring with a few of the newer battalion members on the outskirts of their camp early one morning. She’s on her way back from the forest where her scouts had reported a few stretches of displaced soil, citing Burned One activity. And, while Rosalind had made sure her troop had become the best-trained lot any general could ever want, it was always better to double-check. That, and she’d never be daft enough to place her full trust in any man’s observational skills. 

She’s just cleared the edge of the forest and started toward the small clearing she’d stationed them at for the foreseeable future, focused on getting back to her quarters to write out her reports when she hears the scrape of metal, a few scattered grunts of exertion, and a deep, commanding voice she wishes her ears didn’t attune themselves to so fervently. 

She stops just out of sight of the group of early-morning sparrers, stopping close enough to be seen, but far enough not to make herself a distraction. A general taking stock of the soldiers under her command. One soldier in particular. 

Minutes pass and a few glance over, tipping their heads in deference before they continue their spar, listening all the while to Andreas’ sharp directives to correct this stance or redo that parry. He doesn’t notice her though, and she’s relieved, intent on starting back to write those reports when she hears him lecturing them about the importance of shooting accurately and aiming to kill — even in the midst of more than one distraction. And she can’t help herself. 

“Can you?” She breaks in, striding toward them. Andreas looks round at the sound of her voice, a strange combination of surprise and satisfaction flashing through his expression before it melts back into its usual visage of cocky confidence. 

“Can I what, General?” he asks, his self-assured smirk firmly in place. 

“Can you shoot accurately when you’re distracted?” She clarifies, coming to a stop, settling her hands on her hips. 

He cocks a brow. “‘Course I can.” 

No doubt the soldiers that surrounded him had heard stories about his legendary fights with Burned Ones and his fearsome reputation protecting his people; it was probably why they kept looking at him with those slightly awed expressions.

“Perhaps a demonstration will help us learn how it’s done then,” she suggests innocuously, crossing her arms over her chest. Andreas’ fan club sees her recommendation for the order it really is though and exchange gleeful looks. 

It’s obvious there’s some sort of hero worship he’d been able to instill in them. That they find him intimidating. But Rosalind never has, of course. 

She made it her life’s mission to turn the intimidating into the intimidated, and she wouldn’t stop at Andreas of fucking Eraklyon. 

“By all means then, General,” he answers, a challenging gleam in his eye. 

She turns to the soldier closest to her, Richard, and holds out her arm in silent demand. Unable to contain his smirk, he unstraps the bow from his back and hands it to her along with an arrow from his quiver. Rosalind steps up to Andreas to hand it to him, making their hands brush. 

He looks at her with a slightly bemused, but still confident expression, as if wondering what she’s hoping to prove. She just raises her brows expectantly. 

As Andreas prepares the bow and arrow to take a shot at a target they’d carved into one of the trees, his group of admirers starts to shuffle about, shouting and making noise and making themselves distracting. One particular jeer, something crass about cocks and over-compensation she’d heard one too many times in her years among bullheaded men, almost has Andreas turning and pointing the arrow at him instead of the tree. The perpetrator, David, winks at Rosalind and an unbidden smirk tips up the edge of her mouth as she turns her gaze back to Andreas. 

All it takes is the barest sigh to pass her lips. A teasing caress of her magic to push a few tendrils of hunger and heat and longing into his mind at the moment he’s about to fire his shot… 

And it goes wide, missing its target entirely. 

Andreas’ group bursts into jeering laughter as Rosalind strides away, slipping back into camp, the fading grey of her eyes dancing with satisfaction and mischief. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

She should’ve expected he’d take his revenge. 

A few days later, she’s somewhere in the depths of the supply tent, tangled up in a pile of half-made explosives — a general never leads her troops into battle without an artillery of backup plans at her disposal — trying her hardest to finish assembling the final few in preparation for their mission tomorrow. 

She’s engrossed in the wiring, twining the jagged edges around each other, focusing on each and every little movement to make sure she doesn’t blow up half her bloody battalion and herself along with them. 

Her hands freeze abruptly when she feels his presence. 

Turning around to look at him, she’s relieved no one would ever be able to see her heart stutter in a rare moment of surprise. Because there, in the middle of a tent intended for taking or leaving supplies, not loitering around like an imbecile, stands Andreas with his most arrogant, cocksure smirk and… nothing else. 

Well, almost. If the threadbare towel barely covering his muscular Adonis Belt — which is chiseled into that familiar but disgustingly ostentatious V-shape — can even be considered a covering. 

When she’s able to refocus on his face once more, all the while painfully aware that any sudden tremble or slip of her fingers might mean the end of them all, his smirk widens into a full-blown grin. 

That’s when she realizes; the scoundrel’s preening like a damn peacock. 

“Oh so sorry, General. Please, don’t let me distract you.” She can practically hear the smirk in his voice, painted in vengeance and challenge. 

She turns defiantly back to the munitions in front of her, her barely steady fingers sliding back along the wiring. When he merely continues to watch her from a distance, she eventually relaxes, brushing the fleeting moment from her mind. Rosalind even almost forgets the nuisance of his presence entirely — at least, that’s what she tells herself — as she loses herself in assembling the final explosive once more. 

This is just what he wants, though. Andreas is a hunter, a pursuer of weakness. He’s spent years tracking Burned Ones and all forms of other enemies in forests, mountains, and every landscape imaginable. He’s as silent and stealthy as someone can be. And if her entire focus wouldn’t be on piecing together something that could literally kill them, on trying to get the vision of his sculpted muscles and inviting eyes banished from her thoughts, she would’ve beat him twice over.

He starts exactly how she did, with a small sigh she can feel brush against her temple. His lack of magic isn’t a hindrance either. He doesn’t even need to push a tendril of pure, unadulterated want into her mind as he traces his nose around the shell of her ear. 

Nuzzles the side of her neck. 

Paints a hot, wet trail against her neck with his tongue. 

She inhales a sharp breath, stilling the motion of her hands again as she embarrassingly feels them start with a slight tremor. 

She recovers it as quickly as she lost it, twining the wires again. 

“Hm, very good, General,” Andreas whispers, smirking as his hands snake around her waist. 

But he’s far from finished. 

His lips continue their siege: gliding along the edge of her ear, tracing again ever so slowly, ever so sensually, down her neck. 

Irritatingly, her breathing deepens as air becomes scarcer to take in. Even more irritatingly, she finds her head tilting to the side, ever so slightly, of its own volition, exposing more skin, more vulnerability to his plundering lips. 

She can’t remember the last time her body’s instincts weren’t perfectly in sync with her mind. 

But still, her hands fiddled on, fingertips never faltering. 

Andreas hums a noise of admiration at that and smiles into her neck. He’s almost reached the base of it now, and when he does, he pauses a moment, lets the tension, the apprehension build as she wonders, waits, wills him to carry on. 

The graze of his teeth and swirl of his tongue along her collar bone undoes her. 

With a rough few twists and turns of her fingers, her hands fall away from the explosive, dropping it to the table in a whole, stable, safe piece. 

Andreas grins triumphantly. There wasn’t an audience to witness her defeat, but there is a red imprint marking her pale skin when she pulls away. 

He opens his mouth, to blather on some extraneous comment she’s sure, when she whirls in her seat, yanks him abruptly down by his beard, and kisses him. 

He instantly responds. This isn’t a game either of them can compete in any longer as self-control is something they both seem to lack where the other is concerned. 

She is still pulling him and before he completely loses his balance and sends the both of them crashing backward onto a table of literal bombs, he twists and drops down onto the seat, barely breaking contact with her mouth. She moves into his lap and he can barely contain the groan as a shudder runs through him at the feel of her there. His arms wrap tightly around her and hers are around his neck, hands deep in his hair. 

Rosalind can't help but think that the tent is wide open for Christ’s sake, and anyone could walk in. But still, neither seems to be able to stop themselves, to care as their lips crash furiously against each other in a kiss that’s been building for a long time, possibly since they first met. 

Their bodies shift trying to get closer. She gasps into his mouth and his tongue slides past her own.

Luckily they have some warning of being interrupted. They hear a call from the entrance of the tent and approaching footfalls as they near Andreas and Rosalind.

Rosalind barely manages to extricate Andreas from below her, but their lips don’t break contact until the last possible second when Andreas dives behind a shelf loaded with disassembled weaponry and uniforms. 

“You alright, General?” She hears David ask with concern. 

“Yes, fine,” she answers. “Now get what you need and get out. This tent is meant for supplies, not loitering around like an imbecile.”

[ccaptain]

For a good bit of angst related to @predvestnik's ask, I want to draw out the pain: I don't think that Kaeya has ever been compromised with.

He doesn't know that- he hasn't put the pieces together yet to understand the bigger picture, but Kaeya has been the one steadily accommodating every person in his life for the longest time by now. He gladly sacrifices most of his time so everyone around him can be happy and have less thing to do, and he feels accomplished.

Kaeya has adapted to most events in his life without the other person making sure that he was alright with the change. His biological father abandoned him on the door of Dawn Winery without asking if he was alright with it. His brother harmed him and changed the trajectory of their lives without asking if Kaeya was alright with it- and this man simply took it to the chin and went down without a fight.

In a relationship with Kaeya, at some point, you will be forced to compromise with him.

There'll be an issue that you don't see eye to eye with him, and he will let you steamroll him into quiet compliance, like every major event in his life has done to him- there'll be temptation to take the easy road because Kaeya bends easily and never requests anything from his partner that hasn't been given to him- but it is imperative that you compromise and meet him halfway. 

I can assure you that if there are no compromises and Kaeya is steamrolled into a decision, he will notice and compare it to a wound he has to stitch shut to keep quiet and avoid possible, endless fights that will net no results. Kaeya doesn't beg and doesn't bargain, because he thinks he's already happy and he could not possibly ask more out of his partner. He'd rather self-destruct in silence and poison himself than bothering someone who's unwavering in their decisions and stances. In the quiet unhappiness that he stews in, he admires their confidence and wishes that he could be as firm as they are, really.

It's not about an object or a particular decision- it's about the fact that nobody has ever made sure to compromise with him in a way that leaves him a bit satisfied, a bit accomplished, and somebody has yet to stand out from the amalgamate of people changing his life without asking him if he was alright with it before acting.

It's not difficult for someone to figure out that all of Kaeya's major life-changing events have never asked for his opinion on the matter before happening, and that is has affected him even with the little things. It only takes knowing him and a bit of logic and empathy.

I can guarantee that the realization of this will hit your muse way before it hits Kaeya.

[balthazarslostlibrary]

for my love, my darling, my dearest, esther

1-- What memory would your OC rather just forget?

20-- Does your OC have a tendency to get jealous? If so, how does this manifest?

25-- What is your favorite thing about your OC?

Ah, Esther, one of my favourites. I knew that I would have to do some Esther writing since I asked for prompts, and I am happy to oblige.

Also cw for thoughts of worthlessness

1. The winds of the desert howl around Esther as she stumbles through the endless waste of sand and dead ruins. It's just the start of evening, she made sure to wait until the rays of the sun weren't so scorching as to impede her escape into the dunes, leaving the rest of the party sleeping soundly while she quietly slipped away. A newly made ghoul, escaping in the night. How cliché.

Esther curses as she trips on something hidden just underfoot by the sand. For a moment she thinks she sees the charred boot of Paladin Var, the man she played a part in murdering the day before, but a second glance shows it is only a rock. Esther stays staring at it for a long time before trudging onwards.

'I wonder if they will find me.' She thinks as the sand buffets her rag-covered body. After almost two weeks being starved of flesh, the ghoul's thoughts are sluggish and tired, and they swing wildly from the nausea and pain in her stomach, to her many guilty thoughts from the previous day. 'I wonder if they'll even come looking.' She thinks 'I wouldn't.'

20. Esther sits in the temple garden awaiting the two gnolls who are set to be Taralin's traveling companions and honour guard. She is now a high priestess, a far cry from three months before when she first became a ghoul, and she bears that responsibility with a self-assured and confident manner. Esther is now a woman with a lot of social power, and a lot of physical power, two things she needs to remind herself that the gnolls will respond to.

A gasp of surprise from one of the other faithful in the garden signals to Esther that the gnolls, Eats Many Birds and Sand in the Nose, have arrived. Despite what she has told people, many still are shocked at the appearance of the huge hyena-folk that never seem to have their weapons far away from their persons. The pair look strangely awkward in the garden and are clearly lacking in the bolshy swagger they gain when with the rest of their clan. 'Good' Esther thinks as she waves them over, standing as she does.

"Why have you called us here, Taralin-pulûrz?" Eats Many Birds, the larger and more confident of the pair asks bluntly. Esther's mind races to translate the unfamiliar term from Abyssal to common, but keeps her expression and stance confident with her chin sticking out 'Now, ûrz, that's an adjective right? And pul, that's...sex?!' Esther struggles not to show a flicker of surprise before understanding dawns, 'oh, Taralin's mate, that's what he means.'

"Yes, you are to be the Flind's guard on his travels." Esther replies bluntly, rolling her shoulders in what she hopes is the right body language for a mild threat to gnolls. "I know that your people value the powerful as mates, but know this." She steps forward, causing Sand in the Nose to step back in submission slightly; Eats Many Birds however, does not move. "Taralin is mine." Esther bares her teeth and bites the air in front of the male gnoll's snout, challenging him. "Don't even dare to court him, or I will find you and challenge you, and you don't want to take up that challenge." Her words are barely more than a snarl to get the point across to the defiant gnoll.

After a long moment, Eats Many Birds also backs down and looks away "Kultazash, Priestess, so it shall be." He mumbles and stays standing beside Sand in the Nose, who hasn't said anything throughout the entire encounter. "Good." Esther replies, somewhat surprised that it was that easy and momentarily slipping out of gnoll body-langauge. After catching herself once more, she nods, "go now, and tell the others of the clan what I have told you now." She commands. It is only after the pair slink out of sight with tails drooping that Esther relaxes, and she lets out a huge sigh of relief as not having to brawl in the temple gardens. Sitting down once more, the corner of her mouth twitches into a smile. It was maybe a jealous impulse to be so aggressive towards the pair, but after all, Esther thinks, Taralin is mine! And she wouldn't put it past members of the clan to try something. Her only hope now is that the news of the High Priestess willing to challenge a gnoll doesn't put her in the potential pool of powerful and eligible people.

25. Graszha holds onto Esther quietly and tightly in the twilight before dawn as they lay in the soft bed, a mobile of feathers and shiny stones gently spinning above the pair. It has been a hard day, with many people bringing many problems to Esther the High Priestess, that she's barely had any time to be Esther the Person. Fortunately, Graszha the Child has forced her away from her temple duties by virtue of needing to be put to bed.

Laying in the soft silence, Esther thinks of all the duties that she needs to complete tomorrow, until she is brought out of this by Graszha crying out from a bad dream. "Shhhh shhh little one, it's alright, I'm here, it's not real. Yes, try to go to sleep again. No I'm not leaving, don't you worry." The words are almost scripted at this point with how regularly they are said, but it never becomes less fulfilling for Esther to see Graszha settle back down once more and fall asleep. Out of all her roles in life, she likes Esther the Mother most of all.

[frostfall-matches]

[ matchmaking... ]

@anon (🌿) : [ match report ready ]

your runner-up was…

✦ Yuri Leclerc

The two of you may butt heads a lot. Often over minor things, but some bigger issues too. And this is simply because both of you are very self-assured and decisive, as well as quick to think that your solution/approach is the best. (And sometimes, maybe Yuri challenges you just to see you defend your stance. He knows you’re smart and you’re good at efficiently analyzing your options; he likes to see that and your thought process). The two of you don’t disagree on absolutely everything, of course; in fact, when it comes to you agreeing on solutions to practical matters (whether that be the safety and wellbeing of the Ashen Wolves, or war efforts in the future), the two of you are a force to be reckoned with when there’s mutual understanding and agreement.

He appreciates your help when it comes to keeping the Ashen Wolves in line. He loves them and trusts them, but damn if they aren’t a handful sometimes… He’s able to breathe a sigh of relief when you’re around because he knows you’re responsible and levelheaded, willing to intervene when things get out of hand - especially when it comes to some of Balthus’s wild ideas. Yuri would say that you’re a lot kinder than him, too; and while he might often call that trait naive, he knows he would rather be with someone who is kind rather than cruel. Your kindness and willingness to stand up to disrespect and injustice for those you care about is one of the main things that ultimately made him comfortable opening up to you.

Yuri is the type to let you come forward with your struggles and vulnerabilities on your own. He’s very private and guarded about his own vulnerabilities and emotions, so he understands the reluctance to open up to others, even if deep down you sort of want to open up to someone. And even though he’s your partner, he’s not going to coddle you; he trusts that if you need to open up, you will do so when you’re ready. The exception to this is if it’s causing major problems with your performance or safety; he’ll make you sit down with him and talk about at least something. You don’t have to totally bare your soul to him, you don’t have to tell him every little thing that’s been bothering you, but just one thing to lighten that weight on your shoulders.

He values how pragmatic you are. He’s around plenty of people who are too reckless, or get too caught up in their emotions and ideals which ultimately ends up blinding them to the danger and seriousness of a situation. Yuri doesn’t want to deal with someone that he has to monitor all the time - he’d do best with a partner who is competent, not someone he needs to take care of out of fear they’ll hurt themselves. The fact that you’re confident in your abilities, self-assured, and aware of your weaknesses really puts him at ease. However - sometimes he gets a bit uneasy about your quick temper and how you hold onto grudges, LOL. Just in the sense that he knows you might become dead set on getting back at someone and might get yourself into a bit of trouble. He knows you can handle it yourself and you won’t stick your neck out all the way, but he also knows that he wouldn’t be able to convince you to drop it.

He’s amused by your myriad of hobbies and interests. It seems like every other week you’re doing something different, and he doesn’t even realize you had an interest in half of these things until he sees you working on something new. He’s also curious how you managed to learn how to do some of them. If you catch him at a time where he’s not busy, he may just participate in some of these hobbies with you. It wouldn’t be a very regular occurrence, but he quite enjoys spending that time with you and it’s a good way for him to show you that he cares about you and your interests.

That being said, he’d really enjoy dates where you cook together. He’s good in the kitchen, and it’s surprisingly fun for him to cook with someone else (regardless if they know what they’re doing or not). And this way, it’s much easier preparing the meal and side dishes in a way that both of you like. It’s a very domestic and intimate date, and he loves that you two can just focus on each other and not have to worry about anyone or anything else for a while. But! He does like taking you out for dates when he has the chance, too. He seems the type to know the best quiet, scenic places for nice walks.

[jesuscup]

Never saw Godfather until today, if this counts, it popped up on my feed & now know what Grant was talking about with regards to killing someone while eating spaghetti.

The way this blogger notes the pinnacle point of how Michael is undergoing character change, by committing his first kill/murder, which is alluded to in conversation as peace vs violence.

It is as though the writers read the Bible & was teaching a very graphic Sunday School lesson. I am still a pacifist, no matter what anyone says about the necessity for war; you can cut ppl's ear off all you want, but you will pay for it with your own life.

The REAL Reason Michael Corleone Changed in The Godfather 3

"…The unshakable guilt over Fredo's murder fundamentally changed him, it made him a man progressively less driven solely by cruelty & self-preservation at any cost—a lust for power and dominance…."

How did Vito Corleone know it was Barzini all along? | Mafia Culture

This is a classic stance from the worldly POV: Focus on all the things that lead to death. GOD [YHWH] is the Author of life & the source of it, to ignore HIM is to assure our fate is separation from all that is good.

JESUS even warned us of the seed that was choked by the cares of this world, and is manifest in the plot for the Godfather Trilogy.

Despite dreaming of turning their lives around for good, the Corleone are constantly looking behind their back because vengeance & reasonability do not go hand in hand with those who are power-hungry—with that much appetite for success at any cost, it is inevitable that we will refuse to let GOD take supremacy in deciding how life will unfold. Mutual assured destruction, otherwise known as a race to the bottom in a battle of who will sink lower morally.

So it's no surprise we all struggle with this, that is the point of humility:

In our humiliation, GOD then will lift us up by giving us HIS joy, by shifting us off the temporal toward the eternal & true source of living water. In so doing, YHWH gets the glory for HIMSELF, as no man will last through the test of time—in a world of pain [see the Book of Job].

I know in the Gladiator, Joaquin Phoenix screamed: "Am I not merciful?!" despite being intensely cruel/controlling & highly deranged by jealousy over the popularity of his nemesis.

But that is the twisted conclusion we come to when someone demands we deny ourselves—we assume nothing good can come of it.

The proof is in the pudding, and we all tend to eat our words more often than we would like to admit:

Because the result is build confidence in the ONE WHOM we are turn to, and WHO comes swooping in to save us from the evil proclivities we harbour deep inside—due to these desires/fears, which comes from the fact we die from almost anything. too much or too little [air/water/food/etc.]

After all, the one who fears cannot love, and JESUS said: 'with man it is impossible, but with GOD all things are possible.'

And GOD knows you have need of these things, O you of little faith.

This is why I am a big big fan of confession, and it comes with smashing idols & bad habits in however many attempts it takes & years to relearn how to live life, what to cherish, WHO to rely on.

I am of course talking about hearing GOD's voice & seeking HIM in all things, forgiveness among men are shallow at best, treacherous at worst... I think that is the rationale behind boasting in my weakness, confess so the world is clear WHO gets the glory for the good. [Philippians 2:13; 2 Corinthians 12:9] Because though I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for YOU are with me; YOUR rod and YOUR staff, they comfort me. [Psalm 23:4]

I still find it strange when ppl present Gideon in a better light than Jonah, when both are essentially the same, given the selfish motivations, I suppose that is neither here nor there.

I see Jonah as avoiding future pain, like Vito not wanting Michael to remain in exile, he is acting out of fear, due to the historic negative reinforcements he has witnessed. Whereas, Barzini similar to Gideon later succumbed to self-aggrandizement in response to a tiny bit of success—as RC Sproul pointed out in the name he gives to his son.

No wonder GOD safeguards HIS glory, even among HIS chosen people—but unlike Gideon, Brazini is more like Esau & King Saul who were permitted to 'fall on his sword'; Esau though given lushness of the land, is cursed eternally with barrenness of spiritual delights.

No one will sustain a new diet, in the absence of new delights.

Dallas Willard said as much when he commented on knowing why some will fall into sin, despite serving GOD—it is because there was no joy in it.; it was another obligation, and a drudgery that drives us to taboo forms of deriving joy from created things.

It's no wonder Paul said, no matter what your pedigree is or past performance, none of that counts for anything—likely in part to the existence of the inner bent of a partially sanctified mind.

Pride does come before the fall, as GOD continues to reveal a greater understanding of evil & how we are incorrectly deriving joy/hope in things that twists the dagger even deeper.

So in the end, if we think for one second that we can serve both GOD & money, we will soon see the truth of it.

To never suspect or acknowledge our true state, stems from the fact:

'To the one who tries to save his life will lose it, as opposed to the one who lays it down for others & ''loses his life,'' but will be given eternal life. The definition of love, yet not as the world gives.

[zorkaya-moved]

"Why have you bound yourself to me?" It was a rare moment of respite during the mission. Zarina had dragged him out of the dreampool before he could attempt death on his dream self and now he was far too tired to return to the golden hour. The dry towel rests on his shoulders as a grounding piece rather than usefulness.

"You're Diamond's bodyguard, your loyalty should be with him and yet..." His gaze lingers on her throat, the black laced aventurine mockingly adorning pale skin. To others it might look like just a simple jeweled exalting Zarina's beauty. To him it felt of a chain he had not placed on her but belonged to him.

"...Are you mocking me?" It wouldn't be far fetched for Diamond or even Jade to have shared his background with her. While it's not exactly news that he has had a troublesome past that landed him a death sentence, the circumstances that happened for it were often glossed over. If she had willingly bind herself knowing fully well of his past, it'll take more than a few breaths to contain his anger.

@aventvrina

Aventurine is unhappy and she understands why.

(Sybil, what do you want?)

His end may be avoided if his luck and the blessing of his goddess will continue to follow him. He is smart and intelligent, a survivor and a human. He is alive and foolish, he is determined but also tired. Is it not the perfect showcase of humanity and its resilience despite the exhaustion? Despite the despair surrounding him, he persists and he embodies potential. Untamed, still everflowing. The Apostle of Origin has seen heroes, villains, witches and saints. She was all of them, she was the savior and the destroyer. She was a saint and a sinner, even now her blood of a sinner is blessed by the Origin and the kindest of all Aeons - the most loving of them all. A sinner's blood turned into saint's flow, but what makes him bound to him? He doesn't get it, but it's obvious: she never explained it.

But when he speaks of Diamond, she tilts her head. Her expression is one of blank confusion, an eyebrow raised as if he asked her the stupidest question he already had an answer to. He was given an answer. She is under HIS orders, not Diamond's, not anymore. But it's cute how he continues to ask her, study her, and see how blessed or cursed he is with her presence. It makes her wonder if he will hate her at the end, Origin is the beginning of new but the end of old. Finality and Origin, two sides of the same coin.

"I was never [loyal] to Diamond," she says, her tone speaks as if its the most obvious fact in the galaxy. As she hides her hands behind her back, she stands straight in her uniform while studying the Sigonian with her golden gaze. It's bright, sharp, and enigmatic in its powerful yet subtle glow. "Our work was a necessity when I was learning the ways of the galaxy, and now..." Zarina chuckles, closing her eyes and shaking her head lightly. "...Diamond desires to get rid off me. I am the [curse] he wants to push onto others, wondering who can [end the beginning]." Her hand is raised up to be placed atop of where her heart should be while the other remains behind. Sokolova steps forward, her frigid stance relaxing and become more laid-back, slacked just a bit but still having that sense of confidence and self-assured victory. "Thrice has he killed me before Jade and Opal have attempted the same, but I never gave them my [oath], or, well, [bound] myself to them. Diamond already lost enough to me, from influence to information to giving me free reign."

But then comes the next question: Why [him]? Why would she [bound] and [swear] her promises to him? Because her Aeon would do this, and she would embrace this existence and wish to grant him salvation within the Land of Origin. Zarina sighs softly, approaching the man who have tried to end his life multiple times within the Dreamscape. Did he ever wonder why she did not join him in there or why she would remain the waking world? It would another fun conversation.

"Why you? Because I see potential in you, and I find potential worth pursuing under the guidance of my Aeon," she speaks not like a bodyguard, but as someone who would invest in someone's life. She had trained heroes and villains, she was on the side of the winners and on the side of losers. The maiden of ice and stagnation had seen humanity being wiped out and has lost her own in the process (or did she?). "You have eyes of resilience, of the potential I sought out in the eyes of those who drown in despair but find ways to remain standing. I know not the depths of your story, I operate based on my experience, and so I [chose] you."

She is aware of who he is, but not the everlasting truth. It is best to learn that bit by bit. His history is known in generalized summary, nothing too deep aside from the cruel words about his race and uncalled stereotypes. It makes her understand: the galaxy is not that different from Earth she came from. How pathetic. But Aventurine is doing good for his situation, he is far more intelligent than most.

"I've never given Diamond my [oath]. The blessing my Aeon bestowed upon me tells me you deserve it. And thus, until the destined time of departure comes, I will remain," her words are filled with determination and blatant seriousness but that amused smirk does not disappear. But who is the Aeon who had approved of this oath? The one who resides in Heavens, a maiden blessed since birth from the Imaginary Tree's wishes. "You don't need to trust your mind, your history, or your [true self] to me. You can only be sure that while you are under my watch, the [end] will not reach you."

Because Origin's Apostle is here. From end, something new begins. And from nothing, something will start.

"So, no. I do not mock you. If I wished to do it, I would have taken everything you have and more," she opens her arms as if to show off what she has hidden in her sleeves; a simple gesture. "Mr. Aventurine, this trinket I wear is not a symbol for you per se but for those who failed to catch my interest. It is a mockery to those who failed," to Jade, to Opal, to Diamond. "Do you understand now?"

[mi5017izzygraham]

Fantastic Mr Fox (2009), Wes Anderson

Rat attempts to kidnap Ash scene

As soon as you mute the sound, you can tell Rat is the bad guy in the situation and there is about to be a confrontation. Ash appears, fists clenched, as they stare each other down, creating a tense atmosphere. The other characters look on, with little movement which gives the sense they are either scared or want to stay out of the fight.

Rat’s performance is more exaggerated than the other characters. He has a dance-like movement which creates the impression that he feels confident and more powerful, compared to the other animals' lack of movement which is more ridged. Rat grabs Ash and unnecessarily swings him around multiply times as he throws him across the room, potentially to show off his power which works as the audience can see he is physically superior.

He dances towards Ash just as he is about to kidnap him which gives the sense he is slightly estranged or just highly self-assured that he feels he has the time to do that in a kidnapping. Anderson does well in using Rat’s unique movements to make him more of interesting antagonist to watch. The dance style makes him rather sinister.

Rat appears to be more sassy. He snaps his fingers a lot and uses his hips to catch his knife which contrasts the performance of the other characters. This enforces our understanding that Rat is against everyone else.

When Mrs Fox joins the scene grabbing Rat away from Ash. She has a strong stance looking upon Rat. The audience understands that she is a strong character and feels confident enough to take on the rat. Stretching out the chain in front of him is a powerful move. She dismisses Rat as he tries to flirt with her. Rat, lying on the ground at this point, starts wiggling his tail as if he is enjoying the fight and still feeling confident that he is going to win.

Mr Fox appears soon after the rat successfully captures Ash. They fight each other while the rest of the characters look on, completely still, to create the effect of shock.

[m-rtif]

Child Predators and Coveting Phones - The Big Bad Wolf of The Web

Henry, Jan 13th 2023

A timid little girl opens up her phone. A looming fear shadows over her; youthful hands quake as she hears the timely ‘ding!’ of a notification, a message, from him. An older man. One she has never met, who her parents don’t know about. His wolfish features are fresh in her mind; his drooling chops and piercing teeth, knowing he is hidden from the prying eyes of her mother. Panting, he waits for her response. He is agonisingly famished for more, canines glistening… all the better to devour you with.

Between 2021 and 2022, there were 6,156 Sexual Communications with Child offences. According to Ofcom, 49% of eight to eleven-year-olds are now in possession of their very own smartphone. This statistic is skyrocketing continuously as time passes on, at an alarming rate. Over the past few years, parents giving their wide-eyed children unrestricted internet access and unknowingly exposing them to potential dangers and online predators who target young children is far too common. So much so that experiences of online grooming have become a sort of sick joke amongst teenage girls as they recount their stories and laugh at the absurdity. Vivid memories of my friends and I sitting together at lunchtime in our new uniforms, going around the circle and narrating our childhood exploits are far too fresh in my mind - the wolf is much too memorable for many of us young.

So, what can parents do about this? How can you help to halt this epidemic of predatory behaviour? Many parents resort to spying on their children; searching through their messages, going through their photos. This may seem like the correct stance to take, however, it has been made abundantly clear through my own conversations with friends whose parents monitor them constantly that this does not make them safer. In fact, it often only herds a mutual distrust between parents and their children as it causes them to view you more as a warden than a nurturing figure. This can often backfire and encourage your children to try even harder to hide risky behaviours.

I contacted online child safety expert Anabel Turner to shed some light on the best way to keep our beloved babies safe and sound when it comes to use of smartphones and social media. Ms Turner, a former barrister, founded CyberSafe Scotland in 2018 and is the co-chair of the Online Safety, Child Sexual Exploitation and Child Trafficking Sub Committee of the Aberdeen Child Protection Committee. This fruitful history with being concerned with the safety of our future leads me to believe that she is our best bet for a proper, assured, solution. This is what she had to say.

“Delaying is good.” She begins. “Delay is really powerful when you think about child development. Every six months, your child gains a massive amount of maturity, psychologically speaking, to be able to deal with stuff."

Note. Delaying.

It seems that biding your time, delaying, nurturing their hearts yourself for as long as possible is the answer. For an begrudging teenager who is well equipped with the skills to block and report women men is far better than a poor little boy, too young to understand, caving to the desires of a beast that won't leave him alone.

It's as simple as that.

You can watch the afterbirth of a nation, raised without fear of man, strong and confident in their abilities, just through delay.

To gain more insight on the situation, I also spoke to Dr Gemma Stevens, a psychology lecturer at Robert Gordon University (RGU) in Aberdeen. “The bottom line is that it comes down to the maturity of the child,” said Dr Stevens. “Are they able to reflect on screen time, put the phone down during dinner time and so on?" 

“Children of a certain age are unable to self-regulate, and need their parents’ guidance. Smartphones can pose lots of risks, particularly in relation to cognitive functioning, sleep habits, addictive behaviours and so on.” She finishes with; “Smartphone use and mental health problems seemed to rise together, so there does seem to be a correlation there.”

Note. Guidance.

Such as any relationship, communication is crucial. No issue gets solved through mindless hollering and passive-aggressive stares. Talk to your children. She doesn't realise it, but the 'old enough' girl who's always holed up in her room is begging for you to talk to her. When the big bad wolf comes knocking on her bedroom door, and you haven't given her the guidance she needs to make informed decisions and stay safe, who is she supposed to turn to? Well, the police or animal control, hopefully. But even so, it is your responsibility as a caregiver to pass on essential values and laws, as well as giving our young the tools they'll need for when these are broken.

There's nothing that instils more of an erratic terror than being stranded in the middle of the woods at dusk without your parents, no way of knowing what's out there…

An NSPCC survey found that around 4% of young people aged 11 to 17 questioned had sent, received or been asked to send sexual content to an adult when using various websites and apps. Online grooming crimes recorded by police jumped by around 70% in the last three years, reaching an all-time high in 2021. Childhood victims of online grooming are leagues more likely to suffer chronic mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and even PTSD. It seems that we as a society can absolutely no longer ignore this beast, as it is causing serious, long-term, detrimental effects on the youth of today.

Take notes.

The timid little girl is me. She is my friends. She is your neighbour's son. She is the group of kids that hang around at the bus stop every day after school. She could have been you. And she will continue to be everyone until parents choose to listen.