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earthearthearththearth · 1 year ago

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💞TF2 First Date Headcanons💞

This is my first time writing them! God this took so fucking long anyway

⚾Scout- To be honest, if he’s not that much into you (and even if he is), he probably wants to fuck on the first date. Or at least he thinks he wants to, but doesn’t make that much of a move. I think that the first date consists of intense planning that more than likely doesn’t work out. Maybe you guys just grab food or go to a game or something. He’s a baseball guy. He definitely seems like one too. A lot of the date is him talking to you, maybe you get a word in. Give the guy a break, he’s excited. His ideal date I think would be something active, or a place where you guys can talk and be loud. Think concerts. Although I don’t think he would go to those often. For some reason I can see him liking the zoo. At the end of the date, he might ask you to hang around. Just to have your company and have something like a little sleepover.

🗡Spy- Oh it is fancy. It is fancy and it is elaborate. You are stunning, gorgeous, dashing, beautiful, a sight to behold, all of the above. He says this to you. He’s all about first impressions, and second ones. And third and fourths. Eventually you get through and he’s a little more normal, if that’s what you wanna say. But that’s a different post. I don’t know whether he would take you somewhere or think of something himself, but I think he would take you somewhere real fancy. The base is too hectic for a real date in his eyes. You probably don’t care. The date is small talk and classic. He pays, you feel a little bad. I imagine this isn’t something you’re used to. You’re definitely going home with this guy, though.

🦘Sniper-I imagine this guy is the type of person to teach his s/o, maybe everyone, to shoot a gun. So that’s what you do. It’s you two alone in the desert, shooting cans, shooting other shit, maybe you light a fire at some point when it gets dark. I like to think that despite him being very outdoorsy and Like That, he doesn’t mind staying in for his s/o. So maybe you guys cook something up in the camper. I don’t think you stick around in the camper in the middle of nowhere with a guy you just had a first date with. Or maybe you do! Cause like, how do you expect to get home?

🛠Engineer-You know that scene in the Barbie movie where Ken sings at Barbie and plays his guitar at the fire? You do now. That’s the date, but a lot less awkward. You and Engie’s date is a big ol’ bondfire and some guitar strumming. If you’re interested, he’ll show you the stuff he made. If you guys decide to cook over this fire, don’t be surprised if it gets interrupted with a few of the other guys. Or just Pyro. Definitely Pyro. He doesn’t mind too much, and hopefully neither do you. The date is sweet, and if you know how to play a guitar, then he’ll definitely let you take a crack at it. Good or bad, he’s kind of smitten. Most of the night consists of just sharing stories and enjoying each other’s presence, at some points you forget it’s a date. It just feels like a night out with a friend.

💣Demoman-Look me in the eyes and tell me what YOU think. Kidding. Kind of. Drinking will be involved at some point, but if you’re not up for a bar and getting shitfaced then WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING READING DEMOMAN’S SECTION? Kidding. His ideal first date is very mellow, surprisingly. Cooking together, showing you around. It’s been a white since I’ve been in the fandom, but he strikes me as kind of a book worm. Maybe it’s the hat. That motherfucker definitely read Moby Dick once or twice. Anyway, I think he likes to dance with his s/o! Very much just some slowdancing in the middle of a living room or kitchen or something. Maybe not the kitchen because people go in there. But if you don’t care then neither does he. To reference some book I read, he’s more than the [growing] alcoholic you took him for…he’s also a friend. I haven’t read the comics either in a while, but he’s a funny guy I know that.

🔥Pyro-Yeah so there’s fire involved. What do I even tell you man. There’s fire and they tell you a lot of things, none of which you really understand, but it results in you guys drawing together too. Their drawings are pretty graphic, so you say fuck it. Now you both are sharing the red crayon. After this, you throw them into a large fire that you two lit. It used to be a tree. You have to admit it’s pretty beautiful. Especially when the sky turns dark, and not just from smoke. Maybe this guy does know what he’s doing. If it’s not a tree that’s caught on fire, then you too mosey on over to Engineer’s previously mentioned fire. Don’t think about it too hard.

💉Medic-If it’s not canon, I imagine him as kind of a hermit. Maybe a major one. He’s definitely the type of guy to be working in the lab late one night. So, if you two are going to be a thing, you have to get used to said lab. Hopefully you’re not squeamish. The date is dissection. Whatever he is working on, you are too, but most things you’re not allowed to touch just yet, so you stick by the birds. He doesn’t mind for a while, but it is a date. Once this hits him, he lets you disembowel the corpse. Aw. Isn’t that sweet? You didn’t learn a thing, but the conversation and act itself was kind of fun!

🐻Heavy-A first date for him means getting to know each other. Very classic. I imagine, however, that his idea of getting to know each other means meeting the family. We all know he’s a family man, so you’re gonna meet them all. Haha funny reference. Anyway, you might fight a bear. Stories are shared, it’s a lot like Engineer’s date in that regard. You two have fun though. If you’re not up to meeting an entire family, though, that’s reasonable. He likes books. You probably do too. So you guys can read. Nothing like sharing other people’s stories

🦅Soldier- Oh you thought this was going to be nice. This was going to be nice and normal like the rest of them. Listen pal. Buddy. Chum. This is a first date. Nudity is involved, maybe not your own nudity, but someone’s definitely naked. I want to say you’re naked and covered in honey, but someone else did that two years ago. So like, maybe fight a bear man, snap a few necks. Make this man proud with the sweet sound of freedom (freedom to snap necks).

👓Miss Pauling-Goodluck. She gets one day off a year, and she is not spending it on another first date. If you’re going on a date with her, you’re probably already together. It’s not your fault! Her schedule is shit. A date with her is most likely going to be staying in, ordering takeout, and watching some shows. She probably loves you if she’s spending her day off with you, but she’s not exactly the most energetic considering her job.

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 medic #marble hornets #tf2 scout #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #tf2 heavy #tf2 miss pauling #tf2 pyro #tf2 soldier #tf2 engineer #tf2 demoman #tf2 x reader #tf2 headcanons #x reader #headcanons

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skylermadness · 3 months ago

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Renewal of Strength (Saxton Hale TF/MC)

(Original Date of Upload: May 29, 2024)

Original Description:

Story commission. So this was a rather fun story to write! I've been itching to do something on Saxton Hale for some time so being commissioned to do this was actually really fortunate for me! I do wish there were some things I could expand upon such as the voice changes and whatnot but since I was on an, albeit flexible, word limit I had to do a couple omissions of things. But I got to do some extremely good muscle growth and I'm rather proud of how I handled the MC segments! Admittedly I still feel I'm not all that up to speed on TF2 stuff but like, I think it worked out well either way. This story is based heavily off artwork drawn for Arti by moltingscales on FurAffinity. The artwork can be found here. This is also my first story I'm giving a full Adult rating to. I would mark it Mature but I'm going a step up just to be on the safe side. This is mainly because there is some overt masturbation that goes far beyond being just implied.

“How long does it take to get a single vaccine for someone?”

This was a question that was directed towards no one in particular. It was just one asked by a frustrated Arti as they sat on the bed in the hospital room they were currently in. This frustration was furthered by the fact they were shirtless, which had led to them becoming rather cold during their time waiting for someone. All they could really do was stare at the door in anticipation, especially since once they got whatever vaccination they were overdue on they could finally put their shirt back on and go home. Unfortunately for them another minute goes by without any indicator of anyone coming.

“This is what I get for agreeing to random vaccine renewal requests-” Arti starts muttering to themselves, but is quickly cut off by the sound of the room’s door opening.

A man wearing standard medical garb wordlessly walks into the room. His face is extremely obscured by both a medical mask and a pair of glasses that his eyes are somehow not visible through. The only two things Arti can really tell about this guy is he has neatly kept hair, and he might be relatively buff judging by how his clothes interact with his body. Although they try not to analyze the guy for too long. They do catch a glance of what might be an empty syringe in his hand though.

“Hey,” Arti said, looking up at the doctor’s obscured face and awkwardly waving as he walked towards them. He didn't seem to get any kind of verbal greeting back however. They just watch as the doctor silently pulls out a chair from beneath a nearby desk and pushes it towards the bed the enby was sitting on.

So this was going to be quick and to the point, Arti thought to themselves. Then again having doctor's make small talk with them as they’re getting jabbed with thin pieces of metal has always been rather annoying. But also they weren't going to deny the oddly creepy air of having a silent masked man walk towards you without saying anything during the ten or so seconds of being in the room.

“So uh, this is just going to be a standard vaccination thing…?” Arti asked in an attempt to strike up a conversation and break the mildly eerie air.

The doctor had taken a seat by this point. They could also tell his gaze was fixed on them for a second, but he just nodded once in response. Guess that puts small talk out of the question…

Well, at least this'll be quick, Arti thought with a sigh.

The next few seconds were when the weirdness amped up by a little bit. Arti watched as the doctor pulled out some kind of vial from the innards of his lab coat. The strangeness came from the fact that the vial had some kind of bright golden fluid within it. Then they had to watch as he poked the syringe into the vial to pull some of the fluid within it. They couldn't help but wonder what kind of vaccine this was supposed to even be.

“Uhhh, so what vaccine is this for?” Arti asked, a mix of curiosity and worry in their voice. “I don't remember any of them looking like… that.”

The doctor had brought their chair a bit closer to them and was readying the injection. “Tilt your head rightwards,” was his only statement. No answer to the question at all. Also he had a rather thick German accent. Oddly familiar too, but Arti was too focused on the presumed lack of proper medical protocol to dwell on that for long.

“Oookay, don't answer my question then,” Arti mussitated before doing as they were asked.

For a couple seconds they felt the cold and gloved hand of the man on the side of their face, keeping their head still as the syringe inched closer to their neck. Then in one split second the needle broke into their skin, injected the weird gold fluid into their body, and then was quickly pulled away from the flesh of their neck. A low, golden glow remained in some of their neck veins for a few seconds before disappearing as the mysterious liquid dispersed into their bloodstream. A strange occurrence that Arti hadn't taken notice of as their head was unhanded by the masked man.

Instead they just watched the man push their chair back to discard the syringe on the table nearby. He would then turn to face Arti, hands clasped over his legs. He seemed to just be watching the enby, if their scopaesthesia was any indicator anyway.

“Aren't you supposed to put some kind of bandage on me or something?” Arti questioned, unconsciously touching the spot of injection with their hand. Crap, they shouldn't be doing that!

Curiosity got the better of them though and they brought the hand up to the front of their face. They were surprised to find absolutely no traces of blood on their fingers whatsoever. They were also beginning to notice a strange feeling of warmth begin to enter their body as the seconds continued to pass.

“Uhh, did someone finally turn the temperature up?” Arti nervously inquired. They would get no response from the doctor though. Just a wordless gaze through a pair of glasses they couldn't gaze back into.

The heat still persisted, and strangely enough it seemed as though the feeling was a little bit isolated at the time. There was a fair bit in their neck at the point of injection, but it had also felt like it dispersed into various areas on the right side of their body. Although among these areas it was their right arm that had the most amount of the feeling of an increase in warmth.

The truth behind this change in temperature, unbeknownst to Arti at the time, was all because of a certain change in their physicality. It was relatively minor at first as it manifested in what seemed to be a rapid fading of the scar tissue that stretched across their body. Bands of scarring that had been on their arms and the massive one on their chest, scars that have been on them for years, were dissipating into the enby’s skin to the point they might as well had never had scars in the first place. Subtlety would be lost in seconds though as another change manifested in their right arm and hand.

What was starting to embed in their hand was a tangible alteration in its size. The width and length of it had both stretched out, the appendage getting wider and larger with each passing second. This had come with a pretty hefty meatiness getting added to it as it increased in thickness rather significantly. This was something that was further accentuated with how their fingers were affected. Getting longer in proportion, but also getting quite chunkier in size. This was coupled with a certain blunting in the ends of their fingers that gave each one a blockier appearance than it had prior. In general this meant their hand had transformed into a bulky mitt, the size of it now possessing an aura of intimidation to it by just existing.

The same could be said with Arti's now swelling arm. Muscle was rapidly adding itself to the enby’s fairly skinny limb, years of working out being placed in them in just seconds. Heat continued to course through their muscle tissue rapidly as this all occurred. In their forearms, their extensor muscles beefed up in strength as ridges formed in their skin to properly outline their budding musculature. Furthermore there was what seemed to be a layer of brown hairs sprouting across the back of their forearms as well. A fairly thick dusting of fuzz had been rapidly growing across the once bare region of skin.

Their upper arms weren't left out of this swath of changes of course. At the same time as their lower arms were thickening, the musculature in their upper arms was enhancing substantially. Sweat beaded across their shoulders as their bicep burned, swelling and bulking as raw strength continuously became visible in their limb. The associated tricep was enlarging in conjunction as well, further increasing the amount of ridges that deepened within their skin. Heat spiraled within their right shoulder as their deltoids developed, broadening the region more and more as a certain roundness was being added to that half of their body.

Combined, all these changes had made their right arm look so thick and powerful. The amount of raw beef that had been added to the once thin limb was impressive. And it seemed as if that hadn't been the only area of their body it would be contained in as while the changes slowed in their right arm the transformative effect would seem to spill over into their chest and torso. The temperature of their core steadily rises and sweat continues to formulate on their hot, hot body. This meant the intense warmth circulated within their chest and with that came more meat being added to their twinkish body.

The amount of mass that was in their chest increased at a relatively steady pace. Second by second their pectorals swelled forwards, the previous flatness of the region being accreted and built up into a sturdy form. This form was one that was rectangular, yet round. Relatively meaty with a side of fat. That had been the appearance that was being taken on by their newly thickened pectoral muscles. And with the continuous passing of time it would seem as if their pecs would continue to inflate into hefty slabs of meat. Though their increasingly larger size may have been helped by the fact that Arti’s body was steadily broadening in its size and width. This would also be accompanied by the growth of hair beginning on their chest region.

It was by this point that all the weird feelings Arti was experiencing had finally prompted them to investigate why they felt so warm or their chest had felt ridiculously itchy. Although once their gaze wandered to their chest their eyes widened in panic. “What the- why am I so large!?”

Their eyes constantly shifted focus between looking at their chest and looking at the doctor that sat a few feet away. A part of them had been expecting some sort of answer, but of course they'd get nothing. Instead they're just forced to watch the swelling in their chest seemingly slow as the massive shelf they had developed finishes forming. They had also been granted the sight of watching as a thick bush of chest hair emerged atop their pecs. Starting off as a light dusting before rapidly thickening, the brown coloration became more prominent as the fluff got denser. All the while it seemed to be taking on some kind of shape as its amorphousness was quickly shifting into the appearance of…

“Why is my chest hair in the… the shape of- urgh-”

Their statement rapidly gets cut off as they feel a tingling in their throat. Although beforehand they could hear some kind of rapid alteration settling in their vocal cords. As if in mere moments their voice had gone from normal to quickly deepening in tone.

“Th-the hell…”

The changes in their physicality would only continue to spread. Heat shot through their left arm as the muscles began to rapidly plump up in the once-unchanged limb. Their thin and impressive form being quickly consumed by the pure strength of an enhanced musculature. It wouldn't take very long for their left arm to swell to mirror their right one. Bulky biceps, thick triceps, hairy forearms, and another chunky hand that could knock the lights out of a person in an instant.

Concurrent with that was a change in their abdomen. Their gut churned as what little fat was on it appeared to bubble. It quickly is proven that it isn't their fat that's bubbling however as yet again muscles rise from their once untoned form. Sculpting out of their abdomen was a series of rock hard abs. The fat in the area practically melted away as a six-pack chiseled itself into their form. This was accompanied by another surge of strength, a strange feeling of power continuing the cycle itself around the enby’s masculinizing form.

“Ugh, why does this… feel kind of good…” Arti moaned as they felt more sweat bead off their warm skin. The sound of their changing voice continuously resonates in their ears. So deep and manly, and they could swear they were hearing the beginnings of an Australian accent settling into it. Perhaps that would explain the Australia-shaped patch of chest hair.

“…fuck, mate, that’s actually hot,” they remarked, a slow realization about the rather attractive nature of this transformation forming in this mind. “I-I shouldn't be enjoyin’ this though… this isn't normal-”

More sweat forms on their forehead as they feel an odd pressure in their lower body. Could it be their legs finally bulking up? No, it was obviously not in that region. It was much more centralized. Much more intense. Arousing, even. So Arti’s gaze moved further downwards to the source of the feeling.

The only thing Arti had been wearing was a pair of sweatpants. Legwear that had normally fitted the enby just fine, alongside being pretty loose and comfortable. That was a notion that was being contested real fast as a roundness steadily formed in the middle of what they were wearing. A straining coming from within the briefs they had beneath their pants. A bulge forming where one had not existed before in both garments. And what's worse is they could feel their thickening manhood rub up against their undergarments. All those nerves being stimulated all at once, an intense eroticism being added to their transformation in a way that hadn't existed prior. It somehow made them heat up even more.

“Mmphf, no, can't-” they let out a deep moan. Speaking was already proving itself a mistake. Just hearing their voice was making more and more blood rush downwards at unfathomable speeds. The deep tone echoing in their ears as the Australian accent lined their speech.

They couldn't stop themselves from bringing a hand down to their groin and squeezing it a little. To just further stimulate that intense feeling of arousal a little further. An action that should be pretty easy with how much meat they seemed to be packing now. One that seemed relatively large judging by that bulge they were sporting now.

“Fuckin’…” was all they could utter as they rubbed their bulge more. The erotic intensity of their changes being further fueled to such a point that it replaced all their panic and concern. All of which caused a thought pattern that they needed to do this at least once just to end that feeling. So that's what they ended up starting to do.

The transformation hadn't ended though. That act of submission was more of a sign that it had to continue more than anything else. Especially since the lower half of their body still had more that had to be done to it.

This meant that the rest of their sweatpants were on the way to becoming just as strained as the crotch region, if not moreso. Another wave of muscle mass alteration washed over their legs and prompted a reaction in their thighs. Their hamstrings and quadriceps grew in tandem with each other, swelling with bulk at a relatively rapid pace. It wouldn't take very long before the crevices that outlined and defined their leg muscles indented in the material of their sweatpants.

All the while the comfortable, stretchiness of their legwear proved to be somewhat useful as despite the very tangible undersizing of it their shorts were still trying to contain their beefier legs. It would seem as though their sweatpants couldn't contain everything as they steadily rode up the crus of their legs, a mixture of height adding and their swelling calves prompting this to occur. This allowed some of their relatively sparse leg hair to become visible, and it was the same shade of brown that had been taken on by the hair that was on the rest of their body.

The last part of their lower body that was consumed by this menagerie of concurrent changes had been Arti’s feet. They had actually still been wearing their shoes, which had resulted in a budding pressure in their footwear as their feet had begun to enlarge. Similar changes to their hands had occurred within their feet with them both stretching out in length and width while getting increasingly thicker. The appendages had pressed up against the sides of their shoes as a result, while the bridges pushed up against the top. They could feel the topline constrict against the wider diameter of their ankle while their heels dug into the back portion of each shoe. The toecap of what they had worn bulged with multiple mounds as each of their toes chunked up in size, and these mounds got larger as their toes continued to squeeze into the front end of their shoes. After a good few seconds though a rip would pierced the air as their footwear finally burst open to allow room for their larger feet to breathe.

“Mmf, guh,” Arti’s transformed voice practically rumbles in their neck. Their mind continues to be filled with a certain erotic euphoria as they stimulate their bulge more and more. “Damn, feels… so good…”

They were fully into it by this point. Heat continued to envelop their entire form, a weird mix of transformative warmth and the flames of arousal. Sweat continued to form and dribble itself down the enby’s forehead. Their deep and grizzled voice practically growls as they can feel themselves on the cusp of release.

A pressure soon begins to wrack Arti’s skull, and they clench their jaw as they push through the oddly discomforting sensation. The aforementioned jaw quickly became affected by this pressure as it entered a process of reshaping itself. Their once rounded jawline quickly hardened, chiseling into a more rigid and angular form. This was accompanied by an alteration in their jaw’s bone structure, each end just slightly diffusing to grant their chin a cleft. Although the entirety of their skull’s structure seemed to shift as it widened and shifted to attain a more rectangular form.

As this occurred there was a light itching that they started to feel above their upper lip. A sensation that was being caused by the sprouting of a few hairs in that region. Although a few quickly became a lot as more and more brown fuzz continued to poke out their skin. A sparse and stubbley appearance momentarily had been taken on before it thickened even more. Just so many hairs forming to create a dense bush of fluff above their lip, said bush seeming to take on an almost trapezoidal shape as the hairs grew in prominence. By the end of this formation Arti sported a rather thick mustache.

That wasn't the only thing going on though. Concurrently there had been multiple aspects of their face that were in the process of shifting to fit their more rugged face. The shape of their nose heavily altered as it widened, rounded even to take on a thicker and more chunky appearance. Their eyebrows seemed to thicken a fair bit, thin lines sprouting more and more hair to turn them into thick bushes of brows. This would also come with some reshaping as a more diagonal angularity embedded within the form of their eyebrows. Perhaps the most extreme of the changes was just how weathered their face was becoming though, signs of aging rapidly setting in with the formation of wrinkling beneath their eyes and around their mouth. This all further enhanced the ruggedness of their facial features though.

Another extreme change had settled in their hair. All while their faces changed, their hair was rapidly shearing itself. Clumps of fluff cutting themselves off from Arti's head before straight up disintegrating in mid-air. Meanwhile what hair did remain was extremely short, and its nigh-indigo coloration was instead being rapidly replaced by the on-set of brown. This would only continue throughout the entirety of their head. What was once long and fluffy hair was being lost at an extremely quick pace, more noticeable bits cutting away and disappearing from the front of their face and the back of their neck. Other bits that couldn't shear themselves were shortened instead. No matter what though it all led to the exact same result: a short, crew cut style that looks nothing like how their hair used to be.

With the changes to their head and face settling it would seem as if Arti’s physical changes had come to an end. This had coincidentally come with an additional thing coming to an end as the pent-up sensation within them finally released, the overwhelming stimulation they were experiencing coming to a slow halt as they finally came to a climax. This came with the steady flush of all the heat within them as their body entered the refractory period.

“Fuck, that was good…” they admitted. Their voice had seemed to settle into that hot Australian-accented deepness that it was obtaining this whole time. Although now that they were finished pleasuring themselves they were slowly coming back to their senses. “I… I have a feeling I shouldn't have done that-”

Their deep breaths continued to escape them as they pushed themselves forward. Everything felt weird now and they could feel a headache emerging in their forehead. They couldn't help but clench their jaw in reaction, one of their massive hands being brought to the side of their head as they felt so many things rush into their brain.

“Fuck, my… head-” they groaned out in confusion.

It was like some kind of hurricane was storming around their psyche. As if the changes hadn't only been physical, but mental as well. Thoughts and memories that hadn't existed before were being implanted at an extremely rapid rate, rushing into their brain and practically overwriting every aspect of who they had once been. And all because that one moment of weakness was enough for their mental fortitude to absolutely collapse and allow for this to happen.

They weren't unaware of any of this of course, but there was nothing they could really do about it. It was already a struggle to discern what was right and what was wrong about themselves at all by this point. Furthermore anything that was Arti was just being completely replaced with a whole new identity. Completely mundane memories being rapidly replaced with a life of over-the-top violence and animal combat. Their perception of themselves quickly warped into that of a strong, confident man with a constant itch to get into a fight. Something that was completely ingraining itself into his personality as that bloodthirsty boisterousness completely overpowered his former self.

There had also been layers upon layers of additional strangeness. Was the world around him shifting? No, it couldn't have been. It had always looked like some lair of medical catastrophe. Although he could've sworn it was different. He could've sworn he was wearing something different as well. Although there was the shine of the metal on his belt, or the rugged appearance of his denim shorts, or the tough look of his boots, or even the sensation of his Akubra hat atop his head. All of this had an overwhelming air of familiarity that felt more correct. These were the only things he was fully willing to wear after all.

“...the hell was I goin’ on about?” he asked himself, mental alterations seeming to force him to forget his concerns. Forget almost everything that had just happened. Purged the thoughts that he had been someone else, that he had become someone else. The only thing he could recall from the past few minutes was that feeling of intense eroticism that completely overwhelmed him for a bit. “That felt great!”

The massive room that was the Medic’s medical office (slash experimentation chamber) loomed over the two men as Saxton Hale came back to his senses.

“You seemed to have enjoyed that quite a fair bit!” The Medic commented as he finally took off his mask, alongside removing his glasses to disengage the protective lenses that had been over them. “I was anticipating a rather intense reaction to my advanced healing formula, but I had surprisingly not accounted for an enhanced sexual drive.”

“Well it feels like that did a whole lot more than just heal me.”

“Hm, potentially,” Medic put his glasses back on. “Now tell me, how do you feel? Any liquefied organs or the sensation that something's about to explode?”

“I feel good!” Saxton responded, flexing both arms in a show of raw strength and power. “If anything I feel like I can finally get that tiger back for almost tearing out my heart!”

“You probably could,” Medic said with a sly smile. “If the formula works properly you will be able to survive multiple incisions to your jugular veins!”

“Whatever that means, it has the word ‘survive’ in it and I like it!” Saxton dumbly replies. It's honestly a surprise he heard anything the Medic said since he seems rather fixated on his massive muscles. Although he does take a second to glance towards Medic to say, “Thanks for this, doc!”

The doctor smiles from the compliment. “Of course! Not often do I get the chance to test out my projects on the CEO of Mann Co.!” Medic then sits back in his seat, smile becoming more devilish.

Not often is he able to succeed on such intense transformative effects from his creations either. He will definitely have to make sure to replicate this outcome again in the future…~

#character tf #tf #transformation #human tf #muscle growth tf #male transformation #bara tf

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faecaribou · 5 months ago

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hold this plot bunny for me tumblr

tf2 star wars au? im a prequels bitch sorry lol or Old Republic/High Republic Era, 35 BBY at earliest

If all mercs were Jedi:

Lightsaber forms

Scout: Ataru (Agility form) Spy: Makashi (elegance form) if we wanna get specific reverse grip, maybe jar'kai Soldier: Djem So (Aggression form) Pyro: Ataru (just feels right lol) Heavy: Djem So Medic: Shii Cho because I don't think he's allowed to really specialize in a form but everyone gets taught Form I soooo Sniper: Djem So or Niman Demo: Ataru or Niman (Sniper and Demo just strike me as people who want the fight to end as efficiently as possible so Niman) Engineer: Soresu (endurance form usually used in defensive manner)

Lightsaber colors and force use

Scout: Blue lightsaber, Unifying Force Spy: Orange lightsaber. Tentatively Unifying Force as well. He is such a Jedi Shadow to me Solider: Blue lightsaber. Inclined to say Living Force Pyro: Blue lightsaber. lowkey cosmic force vibes but im sure someone will say that doesnt work so unifying force because their ass is not living in the here and now Demo: Green lightsaber, Living Force. Heavy: lowkey gives Jedi Sentinel vibes even if that doesn't work for plot but still. So yellow lightsaber. In the comics when he and scout go off to the australium mine he shows the ability to look ahead at the big picture so I'm giving him Unifying Force Medic: Green lightsaber, Living Force Sniper: Not giving blue or green at all, I kinda want to give him Orange (cries) tentatively Living Force. I am willing to hear people out on Sniper. Engineer: Green lightsaber, Living Force

I should elaborate that Living Force users are more focused on the here and now, and the connections between living things, pretty solid people while Unifying Force users tend to look to the future, think ahead, see the big picture, and I wouldnt say they have their head stuck in the clouds but they're more likely to be doing that then Living Force users. So Scout is Unifying because he daydreams, Soldier is Living because here and now and not thinking ahead, Heavy sees the big picture so Unifying, etc. No one fits every definition of one type of force and thats ok If some mercs were jedi and some were clones (clone war time)

Jedi: Scout, Spy (a Jedi Shadow to be specific because they are literally spies), Engineer, maybe Pyro Clones: Soldier (duh) Heavy (he's the heavy weapons guy guys) Demo, Medic (CMO clone), Sniper. maybe pyro

I guess my main distinction is which ones main w a gun +Demo +Medic are the clones. I feel like Engineer's job could plausibly place him as a clone trooper but it doesn't seem right, Pyro could maybe be a clone who like refuses to take off their helmet. Scout is a Jedi to me because clones don’t have fathers and so we can’t follow that plot line if either scout nor spy are clones

Notes about AUs

in this au the Administrator is Palpatine and there is no Chosen One stuff she's just orchestrating both sides of the war to gain power in the Senate and then killing off the jedi with order 66. Spy can't be Scout's Padawan Master so Engineer would have to be Scout's Master. Pyro is a new Knight if he's a Jedi. Jedi get knighted typically *after* 25 years of age or that species' equivalent, typical knighting age being like. 25-30. Obi-Wan and Anakin are the Spiders Georg of jedi knighting. So Scout being 27, he's probably going to get knighted for the sake of the Clone Wars soon.

Plots:

All mercs as Jedi: idk just them doing shenanigans. Imagine if I sent them to deal with Mandalore that would coooookkk can you imagine. Spy infiltrates Kyr'stad/Death Watch. Engineer protects the New Mandalorians. Soldier somehow gets clan adopted into the Haat'Mand'ade/True Mandalorians because they're like "he has mandokarla". This will not bode well for Spy when Death Watch eventually attacks the True Mandalorians and Soldier is there just. Destroying Kyr'stad and Spy is like "hmm. i am in trouble." Someone in the Haat'Mand'ade definitely tries to say the gai bal manda to Pyro and adopt him but Engineer spawns in out of nowhere and is like "this is. this is a grown man." the mandalorian is unfazed because these fuckers will adopt people as kids, as brothers, as clan members, as wards, etc. they do not care. Engineer is at a loss for words. Where are Medic and Heavy? At the Temple, trying to convince the High Council to let them join their team on Manda'yaim and bring supplies. That's right those two have to deal with (shudder) politics. Actually if Engineer is with the Everaade he's also dealing with politics because the New Mandalorians do nothing but politic talk soooooo lol. Demo and Scout get lost from the group and Demo hears about Soldier being clan adopted by the Haat'Mand'ade but the news has been so warped by word of mouth gossip that Demo thinks Soldier has been kidnapped by the Haat'Mand'ade, which is like THE faction that people know the least about even though they are my favorite so Demo is like. On a mission to hunt down the True Mandalorians and fight them and save Soldier and Scout is just along for the ride. Sniper is with Engineer because I feel bad that Engineer is alone when the Senate mission was to literally protect the New Mandalorians. Sniper DGAF tho, not until Kyr'stad bombs the New Mandalorian capital. Especially because New Mandalorians HATE weapons so they're like "what do you do." Sniper: "I'm a sniper." New Mandalorians: "Eww wtffff" Sniper: "It's a good job >:(" New Mandalorians: "Erm actually you are killing people which is bad. have you tried talking to people" Sniper: ... Wait im cooking this is a whole plot. yay

Some mercs as clones: Clone Wars but from Scout's POV, if Spy reveals his parentage it would be while sacrificing himself for Scout during Order 66 so Scout can get away. the plot is literally just "ough agh the horrors of war that us jedi were not prepared for. also i want to know my clone troops better"

#me: now dont go rambling on about mandalorians sammy. we are focused on the jedi #me realizing the time period ive chosen: THE MANDALORIAN CIVIL WARRRR LETS GOOOOOOOO #star wars #tf2 #tf2 scout #spydad #team fortress 2 #team fortress two #tf2 au #star wars au #tf2 mercs #tf2 spy #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 soldier #tf2 demoman #tf2 demo

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dinoburger · 1 year ago

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let me. try to articulate something about why I find the dichotomy of Saxton vs. Gray very interesting, because seeing them pitted against each other more directly makes both of them more compelling to me

"everyone is immoral in TF2" yes, but there's still distinct protagonists and antagonists. We are rooting for the mercenaries, but not the Mann brothers, even though we may be fighting for them. We still enjoy seeing the mercenaries win and the Manns inevitably embarrass themselves and fail.

This is very much the intent. If we didn't enjoy seeing them win it would sort of defeat the purpose of the writing supporting the game.

What strikes me is that power seems to be the defining feature of all TF2 villains. Yes the mercenaries are ruthless killers, but the Manns very much set the stage, they provide the fertile ground for war and the ammunition. If our mercenaries weren't fighting this war, it would be some other mercenaries.

Saxton... Saxton Saxton Saxton, he cannot say the same. I would say most of the time he holds an antagonistic role, most of the update comics would have him that way, but the same is not true of the mainline comics, where we see him fighting alongside the mercenaries, and we now have an official game mode where he can play as one too. This is interesting because it's ironic, really.

You can't really blame people for rooting for him though, he's the fan favourite after all, and despite his flaws he has an overwhelming kind of charisma that he shares with the mercenaries, that makes you endeared to him.

Contrasting him to Gray Mann... both of them are power hungry, bloodthirsty CEOs, both of them have family ties to power rather than some innate virtue - Gray Mann even less than Saxton, seeing as he literally had to fight his way back into power. Both of them largely regard the mercenaries as tools accruing more power.

Gray Mann is only ever purely bad, though. There's like... a weird dissonance with how the comics treat trying to accrue power through wits and trickery vs. through brute force, because both Gray and Cheavy are partially inclined to the former where is Saxton only the latter. As if there's a "correct" way to be a power hungry, bloodthirsty CEO...

It's like what I was saying about, Gray doesn't really get to be a funny villain, he doesn't get to have a bit of charm or flair the way Saxton does. He's just "the really really bad" one.

Thinking about them being pitted against each other emphasizes this to me just what it is about Saxton that makes him a "good" bad guy and Gray that makes him a "bad" bad guy, physical brawn and masculinity is still somewhat seen as a virtue in this universe, regardless of context.

And THAT. THAT is what makes me want to root for Gray Mann a little more, HAHAHAHA

#misc. tf musings #🦅😼

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friendlyengie · 2 years ago

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hello mewants to stick my fingers through the enclosure bars. what's either your mischaracterisation/behaviour pet peeve you don't like in the fandom, or if you don't want to be a negative nancy, what's your favourite tidbit about the mercs that you want to see more in fandom content?

Uhhhhhh honestly ive been doing my best not to be a huuuge asshat about fandom mischaracterizations lately bc ive found that the vibe has sort of just put a damper on my ability to enjoy things (being to worried that IM the guy mischaracterizing characters and im being judged for having fun etc etc) BUT its still fun to talk about so long as i dont get all pretentious about it so let me dig around in my brain.

Uhhh i dont really have any specific ones off the top of my head… i think recently ive just not really been vibing with like. The counter-woobification process of characters. Like, when people see a character being babied by the fandom (for traits they do or don’t have) and decide to respond to it by exaggerating the character in the opposite direction. Mischaracterization but “edgy.” Medic��s not your yaoi soft boy hes actually a stone-cold intimidating manipulator, spy isn’t an overprotective guilt ridden dad he actually doesn’t give a shit about scout, this character wouldnt [exaggerated positive trait] they’d actually [exaggerated negative trait.] this isn’t a specific to tf2 thing or even anything that new but its just sort of. Fascinating to watch happen from a distance.

uhhh as for favorite tidbits… idk i feel like we as a society need to appreciate that snipers just kind of a guy who does his job. Like yes hes a weirdo he pisses in jars and snipes people i get it i get it but also when i rewatch his meet the merc video im always just kind of fascinated by how casual he is. Like he talks like a guy i could strike up a conversation with while waiting in line at a store. also like. “Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.” Out of these things i feel like “be polite” gets overlooked the most. This is the merc who routinely calls his parents and tips his hat off to people he kills. It just feels like an underutilized part of his personality.

#in my quest to be cringe and free ive accidentally given in to the cacophony of people talking about the “right way” to interpret characters #and ive been trying to back off from that and have more fun methinks #i love sniper i love what people do with that. I just also think we should do more with whatever his weird “9 to 5 gunman swag” is #hes funny. I just rewatched his meet the vid again and hes just so . Yeah . Shakes him #tf2 #Asks #The Clown Speaks

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some-pers0n · 1 year ago

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I can't think of anything for the assuming thing that you reblogged, but while I'm here uhhm. I'd like to hear abt tf2 if you're willing to explain.

I don't know a lot abt it but I see the stuff you reblog!! I know the game, but I've never heard any lore or anything abt the characters.

No pressure ofc, you don't have to :]

You're. asking me..to infodump? About TF2!?

Okie okey I can do it. Uh. Keep in mind it's going to be pretty long-winded and incomprehensible. I just really like this game...

Oh! And if you're a follower or mutual, read on as well! I put a lot of effort into this. If you're at all interested in understanding my madness even a little bit, this is for you.

Before we even begin, I HIGHLY recommend first checking out the Meet the Team videos and perhaps Expatriation Date. It will take you roughly half an hour to watch all videos. They are simply fantastic. They are humorous and show off the personalities of these characters in a great and short way. Plus it establishes the tone of this game (which is very silly)

With that being said, let it commence.

Okay, so, I guess we start with the basics. Team Fortress 2 is a sequel to Team Fortress (Classic), which was a mod for a game called Quake using the engine for Half-Life, Source. It was made by a couple of friends who would later on become a part of Valve, a game company known for their own games such as Portal, Half-Life (as previously mentioned), Counter-Strike; Global Offense, and of course, Team Fortress.

Team Fortress 2's development is pretty interesting and cool in of itself. I could go on for a bit, but just know that TF2 was announced back in 1998. Over this time, it went by the name of Invasion, following an art style similar to TFC and Half-Life with them now being on some alien planet thing. However that sort of style became outdated, so they then went under a major art style shift. After nine years in development, they final released it in 2007 as a package called the Orange Box. It released alongside Portal and Half-Life 2, Episode 2.

Since then, Team Fortress 2, or simply just TF2, has become a cornerstone of the internet and general team-based shooter games. Its influences can be seen all over, with the most prominent example being games like Overwatch being a spiritual successor to it.

You don't want to hear me ramble about the actual gameplay and such though, I assume. I really like watching people play the game, but I would be lying if I didn't find a smidge more enjoyment from the characters, hm? I mean, how could I not? They're one of, if not the best parts of the entire game.

But before we get to that, even more ground work. Here's the basic lore you need.

In the 1800s, a man called Zephaniah Mann owns a company. He's your generic richy-rich upperclassman guy. His business partner, Barnabus Hale, co-owns this. This will be slightly important later. He has three children, Redmond, Blutarch, and Gray Mann. Redmond and Blutarch practically come out of the womb hating each other, while Gray Mann? Well, he's. special. He's incredibly intelligent for his newborn nature, being able to speak fluent English as well as supposedly inventing a new kind of algebra.

Zephaniah Mann freaks out. He tries to kill the child, however he is, and I quote, "absconded by the Eagle". This is a random eagle that's been apparently terrorizing the small town that Zephaniah Mann lives in. It breaks through the windows and literally steals Gray Mann, saving him from an untimely death.

So that happened.

Years later, Zephaniah grows old. Blutarch and Redmond are the only real heirs of his company, but the both of them won't come to a single agreement on anything. Pissed off about it, Zephaniah writes in his will that he's giving his company to Barnabus Hale, leaving his servant, Elizabeth, with all of his "gold", and jack-shit for Redmond and Blutarch.

Well...not nothing. Redmond and Blutarch convinced Zephaniah to buy up a bunch of land in New Mexico. Gravel pits and dustbowls. When Zephaniah died, the two of them tried claiming the land for themselves. This sparked the main event: the Gravel Wars.

Blutarch and Redmond hired a bunch of mercenaries to fight for each other. This was the original team. Yes, that is Abraham Lincoln you see there. Get used to it.

The mercenaries fought and fought, yet there was no clear victor. In the end, Blutarch and Redmond were growing old. By 1890s, it was becoming obvious that the two would die before they saw the end of this fight.

Or...until a certain other party emerged. Radigan Conagher. A brilliant inventor that catches the attention of Blutarch Mann. He brings Radigan to him and asks something so simple of him.

Build him a machine to make him immortal.

Radigan agrees to the task.

However, this also gets the attention of another person. Remember that servant I mentioned? The one who inherited Zephaniah Mann's gold? Well, it turns out that it isn't gold, but actually an incredibly powerful material called Australium.

Australium is native to Australia. It is a precious mineral that is capable of incredible power. Among giving the people around it super-strength, heightened intelligence, and generally being very Australian, it can also be used to make a person immortal through extending their life.

Elizabeth knows about this, and for some reason that we still don't quite know, she wants to continue on this war. So, she approaches Radigan and asks him to build another life extender machine for Redmond. Also for her probably.

So now the old men (and also this chick) are immortal. Cool!!

The 1930s roll around and there's another group of mercenaries. We don't care about these ones that much. Just know that they are the same mercs from Team Fortress Classic and they'll be somewhat important later. Understand also that Barnabus Hale's company is now called MannCo. and is the main supplier of weapons to this war.

NOW IT'S THE 1960S YAYYY IT'S TIME FOR THEM!!! THE SILLIES!!

Something to also know is that there's somebody pulling the strings. The Administrator. For some reason, she wants to continue this war between Redmond and Blutarch. She's not Elizabeth though!! Definitely not. Totally not. Definitely not a plot twist that WOULD'VE HAPPENED IN THE FINAL COMIC HAD IT RELEASED- but it's fine.

Anyways, I digress. Elizabeth and the Administrator (also known as Helen) are pretty much the same person. Working as her assistant is Miss Pauling, who (among other things) hides bodies, gives contracts to the mercs, and generally does whatever the Admin wants her to.

Whew!! There you go. That's the general gist of the lore. Back in the 1800s there was a guy who had two kids who hated each other. They hated each other so much they went to war over a bunch of useless land. Over 100 years later now we've got the mercs.

Finally!! We can start talking about them.

Scout, aka Jerma985

The Scout, real name Jeremy, is a loud-mouth, obnoxious 20 something year old from Boston. He fights using a shotgun, baseball bat, and a pistol. He's got 7 older brothers (he's the youngest of them all) and has an affinity for baseball, Tom Jones, and a soda drink named Bonk! that is apparently radioactive. He's what I'd argue to be the most ""normal"" merc, since he's just kind of an asshole who likes killing people. He talks and acts like an obnoxious guy, but he's overall not that bad.

Oh I forgot to mention he's canonically God's gift to women.

Here's a snipbit of the scene where Scout dies and goes to Heaven where he meets God Himself and tells Scout that he was intended to have sex with as many women as possible.

Scout is also illiterate and can't read. He's actually a pretty good artist though. He's got a Tom Jones memorabilia collection that he once used to try and impress Miss Pauling. Oh right! He's also got a massive crush on Miss Pauling. The Expiration Date short is all about it, with him trying to get a date with her before he dies of cancer.

Soldier, the American Idiot

The Soldier, real name Jane Doe, is a red-blooded American patriot from somewhere in the mid-west USA. He fights using a rocket launcher, a shotgun, and a shovel. He is not a real solider. In fact, he was turned away from WWII because of his mental instability. That didn't stop him from buying a ticket and going to Germany himself, beating the crap out of all of them Nazis. He only stopped when he was told that the current year was 1949 and the war had ended four years ago.

Soldier is what I'd argue to be the character the narrative focuses on the most. You'd be pressed to find a comic that doesn't feature him a lot. He's the second half of the WAR! update, the first merc that Miss Pauling recruits when the actual main comics happen, generally pops up a lot in bits and pieces of the lore, and is one of the stars of Expiration Date.

Soldier was roommates with a 6,000 year old wizard named Meramus. Meramus is a character from TF2's annual Halloween event, Scream Fortress, and is a silly wizard who attacks them once every year. Despite this, the two of them lived together. Past tense because Meramus was kicked out. Here's a panel from a comic about this that I find funny.

Soldier also drinks lead water. The water in the base is the same water that the people from a nearby town, Teufort, which is all full of idiots from the water situation. We don't know if he's like this because of the water. It's probably not the only reason.

Pyro, the Silly!!

The Pyro has no identity, no backstory, nothing. Anything we know about them is pretty much nothing. They, along with the Spy, are the most unknown of the mercs, but even then we still know more about Spy and generally what he's like. Pyro? Nothing. We don't even know their gender.

Pyro fights with a flamethrower, shotgun, and fire axe, however they see these items as a cute and wholesome version. In Meet the Pyro, it's revealed that Pyro sees the world through a oddly sweet lens, full of lolipops and rainbows and whatever. This isn't reality, obviously, and what Pyro sees as them petting a dog is probably them gutting it.

Pyro and the Engineer have some sort of bond and connection, most likely stemming from how Pyro's in-game help out Engineers by keeping away spies and whatnot, as flamethrowers are the best ways to get rid of them.

Anywho, that's Pyro. The silly!!

Demoman, Man I Love Being Drunk

The Demoman, real name Travis Finnegan DeGroot, is a self-proclaimed "black Scottish cyclops". He fights with a stickybomb launcher, a grenade launcher, and a bottle of his beloved whiskey: scrumpy. Demoman is a full-blooded Scotsman hailing from Ullapool and has a long, long lineage of fellow bombmakers and general stuff.

Demoman is actually one of the more intelligent members of the team, being knowledgeable of chemicals and bomb making. This is however not exactly known as 90% of the time he's black-out drunk. He gets drunk so often that his liver actually changed to adapt to this sort of environment, now drawing minerals from booze as if it were water. Now Demo basically gets poisoned by drinking water.

Demo's eye is actually cursed, by the way. No, he didn't lose it during some fight or some accident. Well, I mean, it technically was an accident. He opened up a cursed book, the Bombinomicon, and now his eye is just. fucked.

In fact, the Medic tried giving him a new eye. Several times in fact! Why doesn't he have it still? Well, uh, this.

He's so silly.

Heavy, The TF2 Guy

The Heavy Weapons Guy, real name Mikhail (or Misha), is a Russian man hailing from Siberia. He fights with his miniguns, a shotgun, and his fists. He's rather fond of his guns, in particular his main one, Sasha.

Heavy is a family man and generally a lot different than how a ton of the internet characterizes him. He's intelligent, having a PhD in Russian Literature, and a lot more soft-spoken. When he was young, his father, a counter revolutionist, was taken by the KGB. Soon enough, his entire family were imprisoned in a gulag. They escaped and found refuge, but Heavy became protective over his sisters and mother.

TF2 goes hard, like if you agree. Every time I think about Heavy I just get increasingly sad.

Heavy likes sandwiches. A lot. In fact, you can swap out his shotgun in the game for a sandwich (or some other food item). Apparently in TF2 canon, Heavy just hunkers down in some corner after taking a good amount of damage and starts eating this ham sandwich to suddenly have his bullet wounds be healed.

Engineer, YEEEEHAWWW!!!

The Engineer, real name Dell Conagher, is a hardworking man who's come round from Bee Cave, Texas. He fights using a shotgun, a pistol, his trusty wrench, and a little tiny box called the PDA. That lil' box gives the Engineer a major advantage, being able to now make buildings. Dispensers that give ammo and medkits. Teleporters that make traversing the maps easier. Lets not forget the sentries now either, stationary automatic guns that fire upon any enemy that gets too close.

If the name "Conagher" seems familiar, that would be because Engie is the grandson of Radigan Conagher from all the way back. Also Fred Conagher, who was the Engineer for TFC. Here's the both of them when Engie was a kid.

Engie is commonly mischaracterized as being normal. This is because he seems smart and okay. He is not. I need you to understand that his Meet the Team video has him using a BLU Sniper's body as his campfire and he shows little to no reaction to bullets being mere inches away from his face. He just sits there and plays his guitar while his sentry guns mow down anybody nearby. Also the whole being a mercenary and his job being to kill people.

Unfortunately for Engie there's not too much Funny comic book stuff about him. His big break was mostly with the Loose Cannon comic. In other ones he's usually a supplemental character to the others. In the main comics he's the sort of caregiver to the Administrator, just sort of standing around her while she says stuff.

That doesn't make me any less terminally ill about him in this one comic though. They make me SICK!! I love them,,

And, well, speaking of these two...I suppose it was only a matter of time before we got to him.

Medic, You Already Know Who This Is

The Medic, real name maybe Ludwig Humbolt? I dunno. It's unclear. All that's really confirmed is that his last name is probably most likely Ludwig. Some people like Ludwig Humbolt. Others like Fritz Ludwig. I like calling him Ludwig Ludwig.

Anyways, this is Medic! He hails from Stuttgart/Rottenburg, Germany (it's not very clear where he's from) and he is a bit of a silly little fellow. He fights using his trusty bonesaw, a syringe gun of sorts, and a unique device of his own creation: the medi-gun. With this machine, he's able to heal people as well as deploy an übercharge, which makes both the Medic and whomever his medi-gun's healing beam is connected with invincible for eight seconds.

The Medic is a silly little fellow. One fascinating thing you can see about him is how his character has been shifted since the launch of the game. His voice lines in-game are a lot more...er, how should I say this...Nazi German stereotype-ish? Hehh, uh... So not particularly great. He's barking orders and generally seen kind of like that.

However, as time goes on and more and more updates come out, his character shifts. The Pyro goes under similar changes in presentation, going from a mysterious and scary character to more friendly and cutesy. With Medic? He forgos that previous stereotype and more or less just becomes a mad scientist archetype. He's got a silliness to him that wasn't present when the game first launched.

My favourite example of this shift in character is the change in how the Meet the Medic videos would've been. Did you know there was a scrapped Meet the Medic video? It was a lot more like the earlier ones, styled like an interview he was giving. He's doing it on a train(?) and it shows how he created the medi-gun. There's a noticeable lack of silliness, aside from when the Spy head begins talking. The Medic is a lot more stern and serious, mentioning more how he's proud of being able to make gods out of men.

Then, of course, we see the actual Meet the Medic. Medic is preforming surgery on the Heavy, and it's all fairly silly and wacky. Medic explodes Heavy's heart, his birds are just straight up inside Heavy's organs, he basically tells the Spy head (which is actually a reference to the OG Meet the Medic video) to shut up, and laughs away like what he's doing is no big deal. He's got a manic twitch to him. He's a brilliant scientist, though a mad one at that.

I have a lot to say about Medic if you can't already tell. He's my silly!! He's the guy giving me all of this brainrot over this game. I just go into detail about his characterization because it's a major pet peeve of mine when people label him as a uncaring sadist who hates his team and wants to experiment on them all. He IS an uncaring sadist, but he's sill and I will go down swinging on this hill that he, at the bare minimum, cares about his team. I rationalize his in-game voice lines by saying it's from him a) dying a lot and getting pissed off at how his teammates just let it happen and b) he's having a manic episode every day at work and has zero filter. All of them have zero filter when battling. If they all acted the way they did in the game, then characters like Scout should be GO GO GO GO!!!! 24/7 without rest, something that's certainly not the case in Expiration Date. On a similar note, let's not forget that Medic and Engie decided to spend their last few days trying to develop some kind of cure for their tumors.

Anyways, deranged EngieMedic fangirling aside (these two make me violently ill and they are the only characters I could even dare to say I "ship")(even then it's as a QPR because I'm diseased and hit Medic with my aroace-ification ray)(you cannot convince me that this man in alloro in any way shape or form he does not even know what an emotion besides mania and blistering rage is), Medic is a fascinating character who I feel not too many people really get. He's either written as a pencil-pushing busy-body vaguely Nazi stereotype or as a soft uwu twink cinnamon roll who wants to help his team and only has a small sadistic streak and only wants to be railed by Heavy. You guys don't get it. He's silly :)

Oh, yeah, right, Heavy. Heavy and Medic definitely do have a connection established. I left it out in Heavy's section, mostly because I want to give focus onto Heavy as a character and leave Medic out of it. Heavy already gets piss pour treatment by the fandom, where he's just reduced to "the other guy" in every ship. He doesn't deserve that...

But, yeah, Medic and Heavy certainly is kinda pushed. Medic and Heavy duos in the game aren't that uncommon, as Heavy is a good tank and Medic can hide behind him, leading to Heavy more or less becoming a stream of bullets to mow down anybody nearby. In Meet the Medic, Medic experiments on Heavy's heart and the big climactic end has him activating the übercharge on Heavy. In the comics themselves, Classic Heavy, the inverse of our normal Heavy, is antagonistic and extremely rude towards Medic. The complete and utter opposite of what Heavy and Medic had back in the day. Then finally he shows up when Medic is literally About To Die.

Blah blah blah, there's a lot of stuff relating back to Heavy and Medic at the VERY LEAST having some sort of ties and liking to each other. That's the reason why there's like 1100+ fics on Ao3 tagged with them.

Medic is a silly goober as previously mentioned. As shown in the Engineer section, he experiments on random civilians. I like to imagine that he doesn't particularly do random fucked up experiments on the RED team, but rather he more or less does everything on civilians. He enjoys putting somebody through pain and suffering, but he wants it to mean something. He doesn't want to just mess with people. He tests out the bounds of which a person can go to, which he does on random people he plucks off the street because there's replaceable to him. His teammates? Not so much.

Oh, and also the Classic Team. He doesn't care about these people. They suck! They aren't his friends. So he just does. this sort of stuff.

He's a bit special. Love him dearly for it.

Sniper, Aww Piss

The Sniper, real name Mick Mundy (real birth name being Mun-Dee), is an young Aussie from the outback. Yes. Young. This man is roughly 30 in 1972 (when the comics take place). Can't you tell by how stereotypically young he looks? Sniper fights using a sniper rifle (duh), an SMG (or other items), and a kukri (big knife).

He's one of the most level-headed of the mercs. Not sane, but rather a man who sticks to being professional and a set of rules. Despite this more refined sense of mercenary work, his parents don't exactly support him being a crazed gunman. Also his parents aren't his biological ones.

That's right, Sniper is adopted. Why do we care? Because he's not Australian, but rather from New Zealand. New Zealand is at the bottom of the ocean, by the way. In 1932 they sunk their entire country because Bill-Bel, Sniper's dad, convinced everyone that the world was going to become an uninhabitable wasteland if they didn't otherwise do this. Ten years later, and when little baby Mun-Dee was born, Bill-Bel and his wife began working on a rocket to escape to space because now they were convinced that earth was going to explode or something. They only built the rocket big enough for one person though, so they fought over who would survive. While fighting, Mun-Dee crawled into it, was shot up into the sky, and then crash landed immediately onto Australia.

So Sniper is Superman.

Also, remember how I said that Sniper sticks to rules and such? Yeah, apparently being a professional also means throwing jars of piss at people. Jarate, a form of jar-based karate invented by Saxton Hale, owner of MannCo.

Sniper's just like that.

Spy, Fr*ch

The Spy, real name unknown, is the second most mysterious character. He's from France (no idea where particularly) and he's just kinda. yeah. There. He fights using his butterfly knife, which he can instantly kill anybody he backstabs, a revolver, and a sapper so he can destroy the Engineer's buildings. Also, an invisibility watch, where he's able to cloak himself and become invisible, and the ability to disguise himself as the enemy team.

The Spy is a richy-rich upperclassman. He likes the finer things in life. Smoking, wine, expensive suits, all that. He's a lot more refined and generally snobbish than the other mercs. However, I don't think of him as exactly mean or rude. Definitely stuck-up, but he cares about his teammates. In Expiration Date, he takes the time to ask everyone what their final wish is. When that's a bust, he then happily spends time with Scout and teaching him how to get ladies.

Ah, yes, right. Scout and Spy. Spy is actually the Scout's father. It's a theory that has been around since the release of Meet the Spy, with the RED Spy being in pornography staring Scout's mother. It's been tossed around and hinted at, with their dynamic and Expiration Date as well as a couple references to Spy and DNA tests. Then, in The Naked and the Dead comic, it's pretty much outright confirmed. While Scout is bleeding out and on the verge of death, Spy takes a moment to finally give Scout some peace.

...while disguised as Tom Jones, of course.

I could go on and on about this scene and how I feel about Spy's characterization and his dynamic with Scout, but blah blah blah...yeah. Spy TF2.

Annnddd that's it for now! Basic summary of it all. The characters, the lore, all of it. I've reached the image limit and have been sort of dancing around it for a while now. Hope this was informative. Toodles!!

#ask #fave #long post #Sneeb #sp-rambles

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cringecompilationin480p · 11 months ago

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tf2 mercs and the smokes i think they would pick up from a gas station. source: i work at a gas station

reasonings below the cut:

scout: i chose newport red shorts for him because i feel like he would think menthol is for losers. newports to me are a very. basic cigarette. the layman's cig. i also find newports, especially red newports to be a little nasty lol. also i dont see him as much of a cigarette smoker but i do think he smokes every once in a while, esp if hes really stressed out or had a bad match. his 1 box will last him a few months. after a while i think he would switch to newport gold shorts, as theyre lighter.

soldier: i know theres a lot of art of soldier smoking cigars, esp blue soldier. while i don't disagree with that notion, i dont think hes coming into a convenience store and picking up a pack of cigarillos. i went with lucky strike red shorts because theyre an All American cigarette and have been around forever. theyre on the cheaper side as well and he smokes them in Emesis Blue. i didn't go with american spirits because theyre advertised as an "organic" cigarette, and i feel that he would find that to be pretentious and an overall turn off. also american spirits are more expensive.

pyro: i dont think pyro is a tobacco smoker. if the pyro is smoking anything its going to be weed wrapped in a banana backwoods. banana is one of the more strange flavors backwoods has, and i feel like they would go for something on the fruitier side. i also chose backwoods because backwoods fucking rule and the shits look like twigs bc theyre full leaf wraps. i also feel like they would choose banana because none of the other mercs would want to smoke that.

demo: with demo it was more a process of elimination than anything. i dont think he's a cigarette smoker. so i went with a cigarillo because i can so very clearly see him smoking one. i don't think he would go for swishers as a lot of them are fruity, and that doesn't seem up demo's alley. i went with white owl sweets because theyre simple and straight forward, and i feel he would like a pack of sweets. to be honest, im a little shaky on this one, but i don't think anything else would suit him besides like. game greens. to be fair, i don't think he smokes much, and would probably go for something higher quality and hand wrapped if he was smoking a cigar. overall he would get these if he needed something quick and cheap.

heavy: idk about other stores but my store has 1 million dorals and nobody is buying them except for maybe one person every 6 months. heavy is that person. if heavy is smoking anything he's smoking light 100s because i can't see him smoking or liking a rich or full flavor cigarette. also dude is big so he's not getting shorts because they're too small and will be gone in two seconds. these smokes are a mystery to me; i have no idea of the quality or price range. but in my mind i can see him coming up to my counter, asking for these, and leaving without a word.

engie: i almost went with marlboro southern cut for this guy but it felt too on the nose, even if i think he would enjoy the smoke of those. i went with honey bourbon backwoods instead. the flavor seems right up his alley, and i can clearly see him asking for these at a convenience store. as to what he does with them... i can see him smoking them as they come in the package, or using them as a wrap. overall engie looks like he drinks good whiskey, and these cigars look like good whiskey. well... bourbon.

medic: i had a hard time deciding what medic would smoke and went thru all the brands i know of. at first i discounted marlboro because of how commonly bought they are, figuring he would smoke something weirder. but when i came back to it i had figured he would enjoy menthols, and i landed on marlboro menthol blue 100s. he wouldn't go for full flavor, as they would irritate his throat. i feel like smoking these shits would be like sipping cold water after having mint gum. i mean, they're described as "smooth" and "cool." medic is smoking basically spearmint and cold water, but not enough to the point of where he's buying a pack of marlboro ice and its variants of gum package looking cigs.

sniper: i chose cheyenne menthols for him because to me sniper looks like he loves old school shit. the youngest person i have seen come in and buy these has been maybe 40. i don't think he would go for a basic cigarette. cheyennes are box cigars, and a box of these goes for under $3, and typically have more tobacco in them. i feel as if he would enjoy that as well as menthol full flavor, and the smokes themselves are brown instead of white. i can see him smoking a brown looking cigarette so clearly. also the packaging has an outdoorsy look to it lol. basically, i just Know he would go for these. if he was going to go for anything else, he might smoke camel menthol wides. he would also pick up zig zag unbleached cones for his joints.

spy: look we all know spy is smoking that hoity-toity imported french bullshit but if for whatever reason he had to pick up a pack a cigs from a mobil or something it would be parliament blue 100s. i already think he smokes 100s in general, and would go for parliaments because theyre expensive. where im from they sell for like $13 a pack and its always dudes in suits and/or gold chains asking for these things. the packaging isn't an issue here as spy keeps them in a case, but i don't feel like he would turn up his nose at it. overall these are his best option for a gas station cig.

#im interested in cigarettes as a whole which. ik sounds weird lol #consider the fact that im autistic #also i am very aware that cigarettes and tobacco in general are very bad for you and that the industry itself is inherently malicious.#this is just for fun though i need to do something with the knowledge i have rattling around in my head #i dont smoke cigarettes or cigars also so im not Very familiar with the culture around these smokes #i just know the type of people who come in and buy them and what they say/look like on the packaging #tf2 #team fortress 2 #txt #this is my 420th post. nice.

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