#he starts crushing on girls bc shawn does. he starts dating girls bc shawn does. he wants to have sex w topanga bc he thinks shawns done it

[minamotoz]

the boy meets world writers creating the most heartbreaking narrative about growing up queer and closeted in 90's you've ever seen (it is entirely through subtext and poorly aged, sorta problematic jokes)

[sleepy-achilles]

Holy fuck this is gonna be long, I apologize, holy shit.

Taker and Shawn meet at a vidcon or something like that and Taker really doesn't take a liking to him at first. Like the second he sees Shawn, he turns to Kane and goes "Aw fuck, gossip girl's here. Fucking great." Maybe Taker made a video talking about how all the fuck Shawn does is spread gossip and rumors, he doesn't actually give any information, updates, or news about a current situation, drama, and/or scandal, and if he does have information, it most likely isn't factual, and quite frankly, it pisses him the fuck off to no end. Shawn watches it, of course, and maybe makes a response akin to "yeah, so I may not tell actual info, I may say this and that, but I still got you to watch the video, huh? I still got views the likes of which you most likely have never seen, pal." (I feel Shawn would very much be the one to care about views.) But uh, yeah, Taker's not a fan of Shawn. But oddly enough, Shawn is a fan of Taker.

Shawn watches more and more of Taker's videos and actually subscribes bc he thinks he's funny (and hot, but that's irrelevant. Taker thinks it's funny as shit and he would most likely bust Shawn's balls about it.) After watching Taker's content and meeting him, maybe Shawn's content gets better. Shawn starts telling more and more facts. He starts telling updates on the situation. Taker notices this, and actually starts liking more and more of his content.

And then it happens. They collab. Idk who asks first, but Shawn makes a video talking about a certain scandal or whatever (maybe it's about H*lk H*gan and how many lies he's told) and Taker is in it, bringing research, facts, and comedy. They make more and more videos together, spend more time together, and then bam! They're dating. Again, idk who asks who lol.

And omg, I'm telling you right now. If Kane were a YouTuber, dear. God. His channel would most likely be a mish mash of like... Filthy Frank, Idubbbz, and Michael Reeves (idk if you know these guys. They are honest to God the most chaotic YouTubers around, stg). He'd definetely be a YouTuber who would most likely be demonitized bc of the videos he'd create, which he doesn't care if he gets monetized, but still. (Some videos even feature Taker, who in some videos is so done with Kane's shit, others he's right in there in the chaos.) They even have a brothers of destruction channel when both Undertaker and Kane's form of content just kinda mixes together. It's a fucking doozy, lemme tell ya.

Again, sorry this is so long and rambly, I was on a roll here.

Don't apologise! I love your ideas.

I love this aswell

And yeah i know who idubbz and filthy Frank is.

I reckon taker asks Shawn out. This seems like one of those shawns who has a crush but is too nervous or something to actually make that big of a move.

Also the nickname gossip girl is amazing and made me giggle. Taker saying that is something i need to hear

[okayoonoh]

JAEHYUN’S FAMILY

a/n here is jaehyun’s family! honestly, imagining jaehyun as a dad fills me with so much joy lmao

here’s a link to the masterlist with all things nct dad related! go and check it out if ya want!

JUNG YOONOH:

he has has two kids, 1 girl and 1 boy. jung lani is 4 years older than her baby brother, jung leon.

JUNG LANI: >> as a baby <<

smiles galore

she got her dad’s dimples

and she used them

she also got her dad’s little “smile whiskers”

jaehyun is honestly the best dad

like he is so caring

he did so much research and everything

he knew more than enough to raise lani

he was pretty calm throughout most of it

and lani was calm too

she really loved watching you and jaehyun

like if jaehyun was just walking around doing chores or something

or if you were working on something

her eyes were on y’all

like she had the biggest eyes too

they were full of wonder

jaehyun held her like she was the most precious thing in his life (bc she is)

he was confident in his skills from the start

she made it easy on him tho

she wasn’t a super needy baby

she could be pretty independent when needed

it was really easy to get her to smile

like all you had to do was play peek-a-boo with her and she’d smile instantly

she’s easily entertained

if you sat her down in the living room

a snack in one hand, a toy in the other

she’s occupied for at least 30 minutes lol

snacks are literally her favorite thing

she was a big eater from the start

but like snacks just hit differently for her

she had so much hair as a baby

like headbands were her aesthetic from the start

you had to baby proof anything and everything in your house

bc she really liked to follow you guys when she learned how to crawl

like if you guys had to put gates so she wouldn’t crawl into the kitchen

she just wanted to hang around her parents :,)

whenever you and jaehyun were both home, you would rock paper scissors or flip a coin for who’s cooking/cleaning and who’s playing with lani

the boys fell in love with lani

like jaehyun would bring her to practice and it would just be so much fun

they would be so amazed with how easy it is to make her smile

johnny would be like “it takes so long to make noah smile but if i just put lani in front of him, it’s all he can do... wth...”

honestly, most of the guys were just so amazed that she was so smiley and just chill overall

like if jaehyun left her with the dreamies, she wouldn’t freak out

even like if he left her with the newer artists she’s never met

just as long as she sees that they’re not weirdos she won’t freak out

she loves to friend everyone she meets

she’s just full with natural cuteness

honestly like return of the superman situations with lani and jaehyun would be the best

they would get so much content because everyday, lani would just bombard you with cuteness

she’s just really out here being the cutest.

>> as a child <<

still a sweetheart

she is still a huge daddy’s girl

she still loves to give the biggest smiles all the time

like even when she lost her front tooth, she still would flash her beautiful smile to the world

jaehyun is still so whipped for his daughter

he would buy her the most gifts every time he left for tour

she honestly wasn’t super defiant

like she would play a prank here and there

or something would go wrong with her playing

for example, one time she was playing salon with jaehyun

and he was kinda sleepy so he didn’t notice that much

then she grabbed the actually scissors and cut his hair

like a huge chunk of it right in the back

no one told him the whole day until you got home and noticed

he wasn’t even that mad lol

when she found out she was gonna be an older sister?

she was so happy

like she loved being an only child

but she was so excited that she was gonna have a baby brother to take care of

she’s honestly a pretty good older sister

she always makes sure leon is taken care of

like always

i cannot emphasize this enough:

HEAD!!!BANDS!!!

that is your family aesthetic

jaehyun wears his 2/3 dollar headband

you wear your own

lani wears one

leon wears one

your pets wear one

eVeRyOnE

omg imagine

like again, return of the superman situation lol

lani is marching around while jaehyun is cooking her breakfast

and she goes up to the cameramen/women in the tents and is like

“excuse me... do you think you can wear one too?”

and they don’t even hesitate

when jaehyun goes around to give the cameramen/women coffee or some breakfast

he starts to laugh when he realizes they’re all in headbands

she’s best friends with mark’s oldest, ethan lee and ten’s second child, somchai leechaiyapornkul (shawn)

they’re an iconic group

they all compliment each other so well

like ethan is pretty energetic and a little bit of a crackhead

lani is happy smiley and just good vibes

and shawn is super shy but he’s doing his best!

like lani and ethan really just do things to get shawn to be more daring and stuff

and shawn does!

they’re all pretty smart for their age

like if they go out to buy something, they’ll combine their money to get a value pack (i explained this a bit in ten’s family description if ya wanna check it out)

they’re just super cool and just a really good dynamic

lani is honestly the most empathetic of the entire group of kids

like from a young age she was already doing her best to listen and understand the emotions of others

and like from a young age her advice was actually good?

she’s really pretty

like a lot of the guys in her classes had crushes on her

the only dudes she cares for are ethan and shawn tho

pero yeah

like she was just a sweetheart who was really mature for her age and still shocked everyone haha

>> as a teen/adult <<

she becomes a solo artist

she does a lot of chill vibe songs

like she loves chill r&b songs

lani is just so aesthetic too

she films a lot of her music videos in nakamoto yui’s flower shop

she gets along well with yui because they’re both rather calm by nature

she’s honestly just super iconic

she inherited her dad’s poreless skin

like she’s so wholesome and kind

she’s more on the quiet side

she has so many fans lol

she get’s overwhelmed with them a lot tho

again, still jaehyun’s biggest fan

a lot of people like her because she’s not living the pish posh life

like you know those hidden cams that see the reactions of celebrities and stuff?

like her reactions are really really the same ones she shows on tv

like her personality is just so genuine and kind

everyone who meets her tells that she’s like that too

as a solo artist, she loves to learn more about music

she learns a lot from kun’s oldest, qian lei.

lani understands a lot about music and they work together to write songs and stuff

it’s definitely not a competition between her and the other music artists amongst nct’s kids

like they all are so supportive of one another with any and every concept

if the company has luna, youngmi, and aria’s group do something a little odd

all of the music artists in the group would still go nuts over it lol

they all support and love each other

anyway

the person she loves and supports the most is her brother tho

like they don’t usually quarrel a lot like kaleb and aria or noah and leo

almost every show/interview she’s on, everyone asks her about her brother

and she just fills with so much pride

she’s so proud of her little brother and all of his accomplishments

like no jealousy whatsoever

she’s also like super humble

she forgets that she’s an idol sometimes

like her manager would be like “lani, DPR LIVE wants to collab with you, are you down?”

and she’s like “THE DPR LIVE??? what??? why me??? what?? is this a prank???”

her manager is like “lani... don’t forget that your famous too...”

she takes a while to understand certain jokes

like her brother makes a lot of jokes but a ton of them just fly over her head lol

snacks are still her favorite thing

her manager has to stop her from eating snacks because her fans give her so many and she just wants to eat them all forever lol

ethan becomes a rapper and they collab the most out of all the people she collabs with

they honestly lowkey realize they like each other and just start dating haha

shawn is a pretty dense dude

but the second ethan and lani got together he was like “bruh even I COULD see that you two liked each other.”

they became the celebrity couple of the century™

they’re honestly that couple that’s like “okay, why haven’t they been together like this entire time?”

anyway, lani is just so empathetic and kind and just so happy to be alive and born into her big and beautiful family

JUNG LEON: >> as a baby <<

also inherited his father’s dimples and smile whiskers

he was pretty smiley like his sister

he also wore headbands a lot because he had so much hair lol

but honestly

he was an alien lol

he was weird

but it was so cute

like if people asked him a simple yes or no question

he’d answer incorrectly

allow me to provide an example:

“is your name jung leon?”

“NO!”

he was so giggly and stuff

loved to make people laugh from an early age

like whenever any of his uncles would watch him

he’d make them laugh so hard

like most days, leon would just be chilling in the living room giggling the day away

and like nothing is happening but he would find ways to make himself laugh

like there was a mirror attached to his little play mat

and he’d look at himself, smile, then laugh, then repeat

leon would learn this while jaehyun was on tour and like you would have to explain to him that your child isn’t insane

he just thought everything and anything was funny

those days were the best for y’all tho

like every single day, leon would do something that made you just laugh like crazy

whether it was somehow taking his socks off and putting them on his ears

or somehow moving his diaper from the front to the back

he just made you laugh

jaehyun was so happy to have a son

i mean, he’d be happy regardless

but still

i feel like he would just be so happy to have a mini him

and that is exactly what leon is

a mini him

lani looks a little more like you

but leon is all jaehyun

leon inherited the trait that turns his ears red when he’s crying/embarrased

he honestly loved to play too

like he honestly needed to be doing something all of the time

leon simply just didn’t know when to stop

he eventually learns, but still

he just can’t stop/won’t stop hahaha

>> as a child <<

still kinda weird

he’s really funny tho

like he’s genuinely a comedian

he makes you and jaehyun laugh a lot

he’s best friends with the squad™ of him, jungwoo’s middle daughter, kim jieun, hendery’s middle son, wong mochou, and haechan’s middle daughter, lee haeun.

all of them together is just a treat

they’re all so loud but all of their personalities are just so unique

leon is the oldest in the group so he’s sort of the leader

i’m just gonna say it

they’re all crack heads

the most calm out of all of them is kim jieun

but she even still has a huge personality

leon is like the clumsy leader

like he tends to fall a lot

but they’ll follow him when he falls lol

like if they’re just walking a line or just in a group

and leon trips

they’ll all fall with him lol

leon is definitely the class clown

but he’s not like super annoying

he has “class” (badum tsssss)

leon can just be so genuinely weird sometimes

he doesn’t really make any super inappropriate or bad jokes

he’s still a little bit of an alien

just a straight up weirdo sometimes

lani cares for him a lot

and he looks up to her

they don’t really quarrel with each other

like they’re both just chill with each other

every year, they work together to get a birthday gift for you and jaehyun

and every year they succeed in getting the best gift for the two of you

when lani was old enough to watch leon by herself, their gift to you was a date night lol

leon picked up a love for basketball at this age

he learned that he was lowkey really good at it lol

jaehyun would play basketball with him as often as possible

it was the sweetest :,)

leon is also really good with scary things

like he seems fearless

but 

he is scared of one thing and one thing only

the pure and utter rage of the maknae of their squad, lee haeun

take all of the burning rage haechan has and put it in his daughter

that is haeun

when she’s mad, she’s MAD

leon isn’t scared of spiders, snakes, heights, etc.

he’s scared of angry haeun lol

he’s just a goofy soul that is just vibing tbh

>> as a teen/adult <<

ooh boy

he’s so handsome

he’s also so funny

he becomes a model™ 

like with a face like that? why waste it?

he works under noah seo

leon and noah both do a lot of modeling gigs together and stuff

leon is honestly following in noah’s footsteps

at first, a lot of the high class modeling agencies didn’t like leon because they thought he smiled too much and his dimples were too deep

but noah was like “exUSE ME THIS BOY RIGHT HERE IS ONE OF THE MOST HANDSOME BOYS YOU’LL E V E R MEET.”

noah teaches leon how to be an independent model and leon is honestly thriving

so many people use him in music videos like just because he’s so handsome?

people also started to realize that he’s like really really funny

like he’s almost always smiling

and his jokes are just so funny

they realized this and were like “okay, time to put him in front of a camera just to see what he does.”

and like

he’s just so goofy

not only is he a well known model

he becomes a well known comedian/tv personality

he embraces his goofy personality and honestly just vibes

he’s also really good at keeping up with the trends

like when he models, he’s pretty serious

but like right after? one of the funniest people you’ll meet

he’s just super quick witted and comes up with so many good jokes

lani can’t catch on to some of the jokes but it’s okay

he’ll give his sister a second lol

he’s also kinda dense when it comes to girls

leon is super confident in his looks and everything like that (like lucas level confident)

but when it comes to girls?

he just doesn’t think he’s good with it lol

which is a lie bc he’s actually really good with girls

he’s really really really good at making people like freak out over him

like he does the thing his dad does that makes everyone weak in the knees

he poses, runs his finger through his hair, and just stares

uGH

everyone melts whenever he does this

he still loves basketball

he plays a bit in his free time

when it comes to acting tho?

he sucks lmao

he just can’t stay serious for too long

like in front of flashing cameras, he’s fine

he can honestly fit any concept

but if you have him act like a serious role?

he can’t do it

he’s really good at doing the funny roles

but he honestly just can’t do serious roles

he still is scared of haeun

he also still respects his sister

he’s just a goofy dork who’s just living life lol

---

i honestly just can’T jaehyun’s my ult and just thinking about him as a dad just uGHHGHHGHG

also, i’m sorry if i started to get carried away, i just honestly couldn’t help myself

anywayyyy i hope you guys liked it! i’m so hyped for winwin’s family lol

again, requests are open and let me know if you want me to tag you so you can stay updated everytime i add onto nct’s family things!

- amy <3

[skold]

alright fine here’s the fuckin punk house au summary

putting under a cut for length/content

abandon hope all ye who enter here for there is rpf, genderbends of both the cisswap and the trans variety, some recreational drug use, and one (1) underage character beyond the veil

so anyway punk house. it’s a house. there’s SO MUCH STUFF in the house and there’s only really 3 bedrooms but 5 people live there.

it’s kinda tim centric ig and tim is a trans guy who makes zines and is into vulture culture. got a lotta cool dead stuff. he’s like 28 and chris is his boyfriend who is cis and like 22. he’s basically just a shitty baby goth like when he was all greasy during infamous era. chris works at a gas station and tim works at the local goth store/piercing studio/head shop. chris has his own shitty studio apartment because tim doesn’t want chris to actually move in cuz he’s got a loft bed and doesn’t wanna sacrifice floor space to get a real bed that actually fits both of them comfortably. they do definitely cram into the loft bed when chris stays over but chris whacks his head a lot.

corey and jim are dating also but they don’t technically share a room bc corey’s a fucking animal. jim’s a trans girl and she’s also a witch and super crust punk and her love for corey is secondary to her truck which is an old beater from like he early 70s she fixed up. she works on bikes and cars at the local garage and is generally just super grunge butch knockoff jerry cantrell ass. think pre-slipknot long hair jim y’know. corey is gnc and a disaster. he’s a nuisance y’know. his “bedroom” is basically just a closet. mostly hangs out with paul whose room is just a converted living space kinda room right by the front door and paul is the local pansexual polyam mess. he has a bad habit of leaving his door open and half the house sees the genital configuration of whoever he’s hooking up with. his actual boyfriends are sid and #3 chris. shawn’s the token cishet cryptid nobody ever sees him and he has multiple locks and deadbolts on his bedroom door. he’s an artist apparently. nobody knows what the fuck his problem is.

uhhhh ricky is 17 and a baby trans and has a fat crush on justin who is chris’s co-worker at the gas station. and chris is like justin i s2g if u even LOOK at lil man sideways i’ll smear yr brain across the commissary. they’re def dating the second ricky turns 18 tho. and justin’s like 20 so it’s not actually weird. ricky’s mom drops him off everywhere all the time. ryan’s the pet heterosexual of the bunch and they keep him around cuz he drives and has the weed hookups. all the smokers roast him cuz he vapes and every time he gets a new cart jim has to try it so she can roast him adequately

uh what else lemme think. chris is xvx still and tim is the shittiest vegan on earth he’s just like yeah there was cheese on this pizza but i peeled it mostly off so it’s basically vegan now. jim’s ig profile picture is her truck and she does stick n pokes and taught tim how to do them. tim tattooed RAT QUEEN on her ass. john’s tim’s ex from before tim transitioned and she’s a cis mostly-lesbian who’s a stripper/escort who knows paul cuz he’s the bartender at the club she works at and she got tim the room in the first place. tim has a SMOKE GRASS EAT ASS patch on his battle vest but he doesn’t even rly smoke weed that often. he just keeps a pack of papers on hand and has like one rly stupid piece like a jack o lantern bong or a hand pipe that looks like worm on a string. when ricky got his first T shot his mom dropped him off at the house afterwards and tim ran out into the driveway with two cans of silly string spraying it all over him and screaming LIL MAN GOT THE DICK JUICE!!! and jim was just like “welcome to hrt hell just wait till yr genitals start doing weird shit here’s a congratulatory cigarette don’t tell chris”. the one time chris has seen shawn shawn took one look at him and said “you look like you’re into latex and eating ass” and chris just looked at tim like HOW DOES HE KNOW. sometimes shawn pays sid money to be involved in his “experimental art projects” but sid always comes rolling out bleeding and looking well fucked and everyone’s just like I Pretend I Do Not See It. jim and tim do a lot of leftist vandalism/graffiti and minor property destruction like knocking over those stupid scooters for anarchy reasons. chris has kind of a lot of instagram followers cuz he’s hot and does makeup lewks. paul has pissed in the fountain outside the local mexican restaurant so many times they were forced to remove it.

tagging so i can add to this later if anything needs to be added lmao

[loving-jack-kelly]

Psych AU

Jack

Is Shawn, obviously

Cop dad, troublemaker because he liked disrupting his dad’s authority, actually very smart but does his absolute best to avoid people knowing it

His dad figured out he had a photographic memory when they were like, watching a movie, and Jack called out a mistake that nobody believed was real until he rewound and showed them, and then trained him to be super observant

His dad really wanted him to be a cop and Jack refused out of principle

Never held a job for long because as soon as something else caught his eye he’d go for it

Usually squeaked by on stretching pay from a job for forever, living in a tiny apartment, and doing art commissions when he could get them

Is really good at reading people from what his dad taught him

A Chaotic Good in its purest form, he’s always trying to help people but gets in his own way with his antics

Davey

Is Gus

Jack’s best friend while they were growing up

Was very respectful of authority and balanced Jack out, until Jack got him in on his schemes and then they were the terror of every adult in town

Pharmaceutical salesman, knows so many medicines off the top of his head

Drive a Blueberry and Jack makes fun of it but actually loves the car

Lawful Good, always obey the rules unless Jack makes him do otherwise, has a hard time lying

Spot

Lassiter, obviously he’s Lassie guys

Head detective, very put together and capable

Solves cases all the time and hates that Jack also solves cases all the time

Acts high and mighty but really does care about everyone

Crutchie

Juliet, Crutchie is Jules

Shows up and Jack is instantly like oh boy that crush hit me over the head with the velocity of a 747

He’s a transfer detective who’s worked his whole life to get where he is despite being an amputee and having a prosthetic

Jack acts like his crush is a joke but means it 100%

Crutchie is very capable and kicks ass and hates being underestimated because it’s almost kept him from achieving his dream before

When he was first trying to get to be a police officer he almost wasn’t allowed into police academy because they thought his prosthetic was a hazard and it took him his entire time to convince them otherwise

Now he won’t let anything get in the way of his being the best detective he can be

At first Jack bothers him because he had to work so hard to get where he is and Jack just shows up and starts solving crimes without seemingly a second thought, but Jack grows on him

Katherine

Chief Vick

Is technically the interim chief but she’ll death glare anyone who calls her that because she deserves to be full chief and everyone knows it

Very skeptical of Jack and thus Davey but they are efficient and so she lets them keep working

Jack likes calling in tips to the police when he solves a case on his own because he thinks it’s funny that he can solve crimes from his couch that the police can’t

Eventually he calls one in and they call him in, he assumes it’s for like, reward money, but actually they suspect him in the case because he was right but it sounded like insider knowledge

He doesn’t want to admit he figured it out because of his observance and memory, but they’re going to arrest him, and he noticed the front desk cop was superstitious and so on a whim claims to be a psychic

Spot, the would-be arresting officer, is like, no way, that’s fake, psychics don’t exist

But Jack uses the things he noticed while waiting to be seen to “prove” that he’s psychic and everyone kind of starts to believe him because how else did he know so much about people he’d never met before?

But then Katherine hires him as a consultant for a case that they can’t solve because she figures he can’t do much harm when they’re about to lose the case to higher ups anyway

So Jack shows up to Davey’s job and is like, dude, I have a job and you have a job with me, let’s go

To which Davey responds, no way am I doing anything with you, your last five job attempts have been disasters

But Jack convinces him eventually and soon they have an office and a private investigative business

Davey constantly threatens to tell everyone that Jack isn’t a psychic but he never would because Jack really is solving crimes and they’re best friends

Jack flirts. With literally anyone. Even when it’s entirely inappropriate. Davey does his best to keep him in check. It doesn’t really work

Jack his sister just died don’t flirt with him

Jack her best friend is missing

Jack he’s the bad guy

Jack she is literally trying to murder us stop complimenting her form

Jack he

Jack she

Jack

He’s so ridiculously bi people genuinely think he’s joking like they think he’s straight making gay jokes because of the sheer number of times he flirts with guys and girls all the time

He does his best to seem as immature as possible, but he has a pretty high emotional intelligence

For a while, Crutchie is dating a guy who’s similar to Jack, which makes Jack sad because he wants to be dating Crutchie but Crutchie has never seemed interested

Eventually Crutchie overhears Jack talking to Davey about him and Jack says that he’s willing to just be friends if that means Crutchie is happy, only he wants to be happy too, and he can’t imagine being happy without Crutchie because he’s pretty much fallen in love with him over the years they’ve gotten to work together

And then Crutchie eventually gets together with Jack, after he gets out of his other relationship

Dating Jack is essentially dating both Jack and Davey because they’re always together

It also ends up being much like babysitting sometimes, because Jack gets into all sorts of trouble and Davey only does so much to stop him before joining in

Also when Jack proposes his speech (taken directly from Shawn’s proposal bc tbh it was an incredible proposal) goes like this:

Charlie Morris, I do not believe in love at first sight, because I didn’t even need to see you to know I wanted to spend forever with you. That didn’t make any sense. Scratch that. I have spent my whole life running from one thing to another, quitting and running and quitting and running and pretending that my destiny was to drive a wienermobile.

Davey: He was young and afraid of commitment.

That’s true. But I’m not that young anymore. And I’m also not afraid. Because when I’m with you, Char, I’m just fearless and unbreakable.

Davey: Like Samuel L. Jackson.

Jack: No, Samuel L. Jackson was the glass man.

Davey: Not emotionally, Jack, not emotionally.

Jack: Okay, dude, well dial it back just a teeny bit.

Davey: *choked up* Okay.

I know that I come with baggage, and a best friend who’s not going anywhere. Ever. But I promise you that from this moment forward the only running I will be doing is into your arms, and I will never stop holding your cold little hands or losing myself when I wake up in the morning and look at you and recognize how frickin’ lucky I am.

Davey: *in the background* Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, it’s happening, say yes, say yes!

Crutchie: Yes, yes!

Jack: Okay, well technically, you just said yes to Davey.

Crutchie: Well ask me, Jack!

Crutchie, will you marry us? Me? Mostly me? Even though Davey is always gonna be part of the deal and one day he’ll have his own Crutchie and we’ll be one big family and we’ll have dogs, all rescues, and kids, probable before we’re sixty. Just marry me so I can show you how amazing our life will be together?

Davey was crying by the end of it and Crutchie said yes, obviously, please do yourself a favor and watch the scene from the real show it’s cinematic genius.

Spot meets Race and for pretty much the only time in his life opens up easily and right away

And then it turns out Race is the criminal in the case they’re working on and Spot has to arrest him but he promises to wait until Race is out of prison and they end up together anyway

Now for the true reason this au works: the quotes. The dialogue. All of these are direct quotes from the show.

Davey: You named your fake detective agency "Psych"? As in "got you"? Why didn't you just call it "Hey, we're fooling you and the police department; hope we don't make a mistake and somebody dies because of it."

Jack: First of all, Davey, that name is entirely too long; it would never fit on the window. And secondly, the best way you convince people you're not lying to them is to tell them you are!

Davey: How do you just eat when there's a dead guy laying there?

Jack: What, is that rude? Am I supposed to share?

Jack: Good morning, detectives! Are we collecting donations for the policeman's ball?

Spot: We don't have balls.

Jack: I honestly have no response to that.

Crutchie: You're not hired. I can't pay you. If it turns out there's something to it, I'll make sure you get put on the case. That's all I can do.

Jack: Crutchie, I'm quite sure we could work out some kind of services exchange. You see I like to do some sketching myself and sometimes I need a model.

Crutchie: Huh! [gets up and walks from the room]

Jack: Was that inappropriate? ...Felt OK.

Jack: Don't panic. Those bites are consistent with a T-Rex bite.

Davey: You know that?

Jack: Yes, I know that. [shows picture of himself in the mouth of a T-Rex skeleton] I was banned from the Wyoming National Museum for that shot. The bruises didn't go away for a year, but it was totally worth it. It was my best screensaver ever!

Crutchie: Jack, how do you know this?

Jack: The same way that I know that as a child Spot wanted nothing more than a pony.

[They all look at Spot]

Spot: Oh, come on. Who didn't?

Davey: Anyone who wasn't an 8 year-old girl.

Spot: I hate snow globes.

Jack: Huh. That's strange, because my psychic sense told me specifically that snow globes didn't give you nightmares of being trapped in a clear ball with snow that burned your skin off.

Spot: Who keeps telling people I like snow globes?!

Jack: I don't think anyone's here.

Davey: How sure are you?

Jack: Fairly to pretty damn.

Jack: Davey, don't be a myopic chihuahua. I have a full-proof plan that solves the case and gives the Chief all the credit.

Davey: What is it?

Jack: Actually, all I have is the phrase "I have a full-proof plan." Beyond that, I'm wide open.

And so many more these are all from like the first three seasons of eight the whole show is like this it’s incredible and I love it