#he spends most of the time just looking at Jayden’s lips

[missunderstood-with-ideas]

Mia *giving a presentation to the other rangers*: welcome to my TED talk about “if these people just kissed everyone’s lives will become 100% better”

Jii: No one! It’s gross that you think people need to make out to make other people happy-

Mia *steam rolling over Jii’s opinion*: Antonio Garcia and Jayden Shiba. Just make out already! I’m tired of watching you two pine!

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

Hostage Situation

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x Fem!Salvatore!Reader

Word Count: 1970

Warnings: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Fluff. Cutesy shit that just goes with this whole series in general. Reminder that this is an AU human fic.

Author’s Note: The inspiration for this was from the post Daniel Gillies had done on Instagram for a convention that he was going to. Inspiration hit and I just needed to revisit the Sweet Family of Mine characters. Please note that while you do not have to read the others to get the full picture of this fic, there are details/references that make more sense if you've read them.

I do not and will not ever give permission for my fics to be copied and posted on other sites. Don’t do it. Don’t be that person that ruins it for me and everyone else. 

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. While likes are appreciated, reblogs are gold. Seriously, if you enjoyed this in the slightest, please reblog ♥ 

Sweet Family of Mine

Mikaelson Photography Studio was in its busy season. The summer months meant Y/N Mikaelson practically had a camera in her hand 24/7. It had been years since Y/N had taken that fateful step out of the shadows her father had casted upon the Salvatore children. And once she had, that small little business she created had now expanded to several locations throughout the state.

The sound of the camera shuttering several times filled the room before she gave instructions for a new pose with her current clients. An adjustment here and there had her grinning as she looked through the lenses, seeing the happy smiles on the newly engaged couple. And after several more clicks of the camera, she was one hundred percent positive she had gotten everything the couple had asked for.

“You guys can go ahead and relax.” She smiled as she began going through the images on the camera. “Is there anything else you would like to do before we end the session?”

It was something she always made sure to ask before she called the session completed. She wanted to make sure there was no stone unturned in what they wanted. In most cases, they couldn’t come up with anything else as Y/N usually hit every mark they asked for.

Her phone buzzed in her back pocket just as the couple had confirmed she had gotten everything they asked for and more. And with that, she began explaining her turnaround time for her process of editing and the promise of calling them as soon as they were ready.

Her phone went off twice more, before she finally pulled it out of her pocket to view the messages that were awaiting. It never failed that a grin would pull at her lips at seeing her husband’s name in the notification bar.

Y/N and Elijah had been happily married for close to twelve years. Their lives had become everything they ever wanted it to be and more. Their little family had expanded with the birth of their daughter, Evelyn, and four years later with their son Jayden.

Her eyebrow raised as she opened the text messages. The first message sent had been in all caps.

WE HAVE YOUR HUSBAND

It had been followed by:

BE SURE TO WATCH VIDEO FOR FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS

Part of Y/N wanted to be afraid. Elijah was taking this week off to spend with the kids during their first week of summer break. Surely nothing serious must have happened since she had left earlier that morning. It wasn't until the thumbnail for the video had shown the edge of a nerf gun that the spike of fear had subsided instantly.

When she pressed play, she could hear Jayden laughing in the background before Elijah came into view with a blindfold over his head as he was forced into a chair, no doubt by Evelyn as she held back a chuckle. The nerf gun came into view against his head before she caught sight of Evelyn’s hand pulling away the blind fold. A piece of paper was forced in front of Elijah and Y/N knew it was a script written out.

A grin pulled at her lips as she continued to watch the video. She wondered who had been the mastermind between the three of them. Jayden was sure to go with any antics his sister could come up with. But to have Elijah be held hostage and held at gunpoint, she knew it had to have been either Elijah or Evelyn.

“My darling wife,” Elijah’s voice came over the phone speakers. “These heathens we call children hav-'' Jayden pushed the gun closer to Elijah causing him to stop. “Excuse me, these rather lovely and adorable children have grown tired of your absence. They believe I am your weakness and believe holding me hostage would bring you home sooner. Though part of me doesn’t believe that given you left without-”

“Dad…” Evelyn whined slightly as she peeked into the screen. “You’re supposed to stick to the script.”

“Oh right.” Elijah tried to keep the smile from forming on his face as he looked between his kids. “Their terms for my release include: One, you are to stop wherever you are on your work day and come home. Two, You are required to pick up the delivery that will be awaiting on our doorstep. And lastly, for the four of us to take a well deserved vacation. They’ve also written that we know this was your last client for the next few days and you cannot use an excuse. You have an hour to meet their demands. If you don’t…” His eyebrow raised as he looked over at Evelyn. “You’ve spent way too much time at your Uncle’s house.”

The sound of the nerf gun cocking back caused Elijah to look back at the screen. Y/N couldn’t stop the laugh that passed her lips as she waited for the end of that sentence. Elijah sighed. “If you don’t, I’ll be forced into a coffin and hidden where you’ll never be able to find me.” Both Jayden and Evelyn burst into a fit of laughter as Elijah feigned his fear. “I love you and I hope you consider saving me from these creatures whom I love dearly.”

The video ended a moment later and Y/N shook her head as she laughed. Her thumbs moved along the screen as she typed out her message and hit send.

I’ll be on my way shortly to save you, my love.

The response was almost instant.

Never doubted you for a second.

She couldn’t keep the small smirk from pulling at her lips as she typed her response.

And what do I get in return for saving you?

Whatever your heart desires.

And if my heart desires fangs?

I would gladly bring fangs on this trip and prove to you just how much I still know how to use them.

I’ll hold you to that.

When Y/N returned home within the timeframe of the ransom, she was greeted by her kids. Their arms wrapped around her tightly as if they hadn’t seen her in days when in reality it had been only a few hours. They talked over each other about how excited they were for the trip their dad had planned out for the four of them.

All Y/N could do was hold onto them and listen as they laughed and talked about how it had been Elijah’s idea to do the video. Evelyn explained her parts and Jayden filled in the rest. She laughed and hugged them tighter.

“That was one of the best ways to get me to come home from work.” She said to them as she gave them each a kiss on the cheek.

“I told you mom loves dad a lot.” Jayden said, smiling up at his sister.

“Now if it was you kids that were held hostage,” Y/N began. “I would have been home a whole lot faster.”

“I tried telling them that.” Elijah said as he stepped out of the house with several bags. He made his way towards the trunk of the car before dropping them in. “I believe they just wanted to rough me up without getting into trouble.” The kids laughed but didn't deny it.

After closing the trunk, Elijah made his way towards his family. Over the heads of their kids, he leaned in and kissed his wife. Jayden's mumbled ‘gross’ as he pulled his arms away from his mom made both him and Y/N laugh as Elijah pulled away from her.

“Why don't you two go get the rest of your things so we can get on the road.” As soon as the last words were said, both kids rushed off towards the house.

Y/N shook her head slightly, a smile pulled at her lips. Out of habit she reached out and took Elijah’s hand. “And where are we going? The ransom video left out that detail.”

He chuckled, bringing her hand up to his lips, kissing the back of her hand before bringing their hands down to their side. “The cabin. I was reminded that our last getaway had been over a year ago. Freya reminded me of how much we're workaholics when she stopped by earlier.”

A laugh came from Y/N. “In comparison to before the kids, I think we're doing okay.”

“We're more than okay.” He said as he brought his free hand up to run along her cheek. “Our lives are everything I've imagined it to be and more. Even for workaholics.” They both laughed at that.

“We're ready!” Jayden yelled out as he and Evelyn came out of the house with their bags.

Looking at the kids, they both couldn't help but smile at them. The two of them had been a perfect blend of their parents. While Evelyn had taken after her father, Jayden had Y/N’s eyes and hair color. Their own personalities are completely opposite from each other. But even then, the two were close.

“Can we stop at Uncle D's bar for burgers before we leave?” Evelyn asked as she walked over towards the car.

“Of course we can.” Elijah said with a nod of his head. “It's not a family trip if we don't stop there beforehand.”

It was a tradition that Evelyn herself started. Her relationship with Damon never changed as she grew. Damon was her favorite Uncle and there would be no changing that. No one could ever convince her to turn her back on Damon.

Any time they planned a trip out of town Evelyn insisted they stop to see her Uncle before they left. Over time, the burgers became a ‘Before we leave’ meal.

It wasn't long after that they were all loaded up into the car and headed out. Conversation filled the car as they talked about what they'd be doing once they got to the cabin. Some of the stress from work left them the further they drove from town.

And when silence came from the backseat, Y/N looked over to see both of them asleep. Her heart warmed at the sight before she looked over at Elijah. A small smile pulled at her lips.

Even after all this time, she always wondered what she had done to get the life she had. It was far from what one would consider perfect. But to Y/N, this little family of hers was as close to perfection. Who knew that teenager that used to sneak out to parties would be a woman with everything she ever wanted.

Elijah glanced over at her. When he saw her smile, his own grew. “What is it?”

“Did you ever think when we met we'd be where we are now?” She asked, her smile never leaving.

He chuckled. “Part of me knew from the moment I agreed to make sure you got home safely that night. But what I’ve imagined dims in comparison to the life we've created for ourselves. I would make a deal with the devil to ensure I would never lose what I'm so fortunate to have.” His hold on her hand tightened slightly as it rested in between them.

“You've always had a way with words.” She said, attempting to blink back the tears that threatened to form.

“I have a way with many things.” A smirk pulled at his lips.

She laughed and shook her head. There was no doubt about that. But she could never imagine a life without him. Nor could she imagine not having the family. Her heart was in that vehicle. And just as Elijah expressed, she'd gladly make a deal with the devil to keep this sweet family of hers intact.

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[amberbeach]

'WOUNDED'

gif belongs to me

You looked up from where you were recovering from the blast, glancing at Mike and Emily who had also been taken down. You watched as Jayden and Antonio were blasted a few feet away before Kevin landed in front of them, all three groaning in pain.

You knew the Nighlok had another trick up its sleeve and used your sword to get to your feet, darting forward, taking the hit that was meant for the three men.

"No!" Kevin cried out when he saw your body fall, your suit disappearing as you hit the ground. The world around him disappeared as he crawled towards you, turning you onto your back. "Y/N?" He would admit that he panicked when he saw your eyes were closed. "Y/N!"

Just as Jayden got to his feet to fight, the Nighlok disappeared through a crack in the ground and the group rushed over to check on you. Kevin was frozen until he was able to look up at the team, in shock. "She isn't waking up."

"We should bring her to Ji. He'll know what to do." Jayden said, putting a hand on Kevin's shoulder as he cradled you on his lap.

No one had to ask. Although you and Kevin never let your relationship affect your duties as a Ranger or talk about it, everyone knew that you were in love with each other. You spent most of your time training and Kevin felt as if the world had turned upside down, as he was the one who pulled you away to take a break. But now the world really was turned upside down. His world.

Kevin stared, arms crossed, as you slept while Ji explained the extent of your injuries. Kevin felt guilty as he knew you had done it to protect Jayden and Antonio, and him as well.

He walked out and Ji sighed, knowing Kevin especially was affected by your current state. Kevin felt as if his chest was getting tighter with each step he took to the training room. He delivered a rough punch to the punching bag and held it to stop it from swaying.

This was all his fault. If he was stronger, better, then this wouldn't have happened.

Kevin isolated himself for most of the day, avoiding the one place he needed to be, where he wanted to be. But the sight of you, unmoving, broke his heart.

He skipped dinner and finally took a seat by your bedside, taking hold of your hand. "Wake up." He rested his forehead on your joined hands, "Please, wake up."

A few minutes later Kevin heard footsteps and didn't need to lift his head to know it was Mia who had entered.

"I told her I didn't want anyone to know. We were dating and I told her I didn't want everyone knowing." Kevin began.

"I'm sure you had your reasons." Mia slowly sat beside him. "And I'm sure she understood."

"Maybe. All I can think about is the time I've wasted. And I'd give anything to have it back." Kevin said softly.

Mia placed her hands on his shoulder, "Y/N did what any of us would've done. If she hadn't it would be you, Antonio, and Jayden in these beds, and not her. She saved three people, people that she cared about."

"I just want her to open her eyes and give one of her optimistic speeches. I just want her to be okay."

Mia smiled softly, "She will be."

She squeezed his shoulder before leaving Kevin to his thoughts. He fell asleep in the uncomfortable chair, his head on your hips.

For three days he remained by your side, refusing to move unless Ji was checking up on your injuries. He always fell asleep with his head on your hips, his hand holding yours, refusing to let go.

You woke up in the early hours of the morning and as you got your bearings, taking comfort in your surroundings, you looked at the source of the weight on your hips. A smile on your lips when you saw it was Kevin. And judging by his clothes he hadn't changed yet.

You lifted your hand, placing it on the back of his head, causing him to stir. "Kevin?".

His head shot up and a wide smile formed on his lips when he realized you were awake. "Hi," He whispered, moving closer. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine." You assured him. You looked at your joined hands with a smile, "Have you been here the whole time?"

He nodded. "I only left when the Nighlok returned."

"Are you okay?" You asked.

"You've been unconscious for three days and you're asking if I'm okay?" Kevin shook his head, "I'm the last thing you need to worry about."

"Well, you're the first." You replied.

He closed his eyes when you placed a hand on his cheek, covering your hand with his hand, feeling his eyes burn from your touch. Something he was starting to believe he would never feel again.

There was a light knock on the door and you smiled when Emily poked her head inside. "Can we..."

Kevin nodded and you were surprised when he held your hand, as the team piled in. You smiled as Emily hugged you and thanked Mia when she handed you some water.

After catching up on everything that happened while you were unconscious, the team left you and Kevin alone, knowing that was what you both needed.

You moved over and patted the space you had made. Kevin laid beside you, wrapping his arms around you as you cuddled into his chest.

You knew you would be out of action until you were fully healed, but if you could spend every moment like this, then you wouldn't mind. But you knew that would never happen. Any second another Nighlok monster could be released, and he would have to go.

He played with your hair, pressing a kiss to your temple. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too."

[peaceoutofthepieces]

7/8 for vbs👀😘

@leoniejulie asked: 8 and VDS? 🥺🥺

7. “I’m not jealous.”

8. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Jens doesn’t expect to get along so well with Kes.

It’s not like he doesn’t know anything about him going in—Lucas has chattered about the boy enough that Jens feels like he already knows him. He’s also been teased plenty of times by the same boy for being so similar to this mysterious friend. Lucas will laugh at him at the most random of moments only to shake his head and explain whatever Jens had done had reminded him so fully of Kes that it was funny.

This just meant Lucas spent a lot of his time with Jens talking about—and therefore probably even more time thinking about—his best friend from back home. Which meant that, most likely, Kes was still Lucas’s overall best friend, and his overall favourite, above Jens.

Which was completely fine. Sensible. Lucas had known Kes his whole life, after all, and had only known Jens since he moved to Antwerp a few months ago. There was no reason for him to favour Jens, and of course he missed Kes and Jens should be happy Lucas felt comfortable enough with him to be so open about all these aspects of his life. It’s fine, and good, and it should not bother Jens at all.

But it does. It bothers him a lot. He spends months harboring this inexplicable resentment for this Kes, resisting the urge to roll his eyes or cry any time Lucas says his name.

Then they actually meet.

It’s Lucas’s idea to take Jens home with him for the weekend, and Jens is so ecstatic over this that he doesn’t think about anything else. He’s practically floating with all the butterflies in his stomach and the quick flutter of his heart and he can’t wipe the smile off his face, even when they finally head out to meet Lucas’s friends and Kes is holding his hand out for Jens to shake.

Jens is a little more dubious as he does so. He can feel Kes sizing him up, which doesn’t help, and he feels jittery for a new reason as tension fills his shoulders. He eyes Kes in return, ignoring the other boy’s—Jayden, he reminds himself—exuberant energy as he pratters on about everything they have to do and how much they’ve missed Lucas. Even though Lucas had been back only two weeks before.

“Nice to meet you,” Kes finally says, releasing his slightly-too-tight grip on Jens’s hand. He gives a sideways glance to Lucas before turning back with a slight smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Jens does his best to mimic the expression, but he thinks his might be more of a grimace. “Likewise.”

“You’ve brought your board, right?” Jayden asks him. He claps when Jens nods. “Great, then let’s fucking go. I’m excited to watch Lucas have double the amount of people to impress. It’s going to be doubly funny when he wipes out.”

“Fuck you,” Lucas says.

Kes holds a hand up between them all, shaking his head. His eyes haven’t left Jens. “No, no. It’s this one that needs to impress us.”

Jens knows a challenge when he hears one. His smile-grimace widens as he tilts his head. “What are we waiting for, then?”

He expects to be judged critically, and he is, but he isn’t expecting to be accepted so easily afterwards. It’s ridiculous, how quickly the atmosphere and dynamic changes once Kes has clasped his hand and beamed at him. There’s a hint of pride in Lucas’s expression, as well, that might help lift Jens’s mood. He’s smiling as he watches Kes break into sudden conversation with Jens, the test apparently passed as Kes asks Jens all the random first-meeting questions he can think of. There is, of course, some teasing of Lucas thrown in for good measure.

All of his hard feelings are suddenly forgotten, as he grudgingly admits that Kes is probably worth all the fuss. He understands why Lucas likes him, and Kes is so unbearably fond of Lucas that Jens has to soften a little. They are, also, surprisingly similar in a number of ways. Once the barrier is broken, they’re stuck to each other, whispering and giggling like schoolboys as they trade stories about Lucas and try to one-up each other with kicks and tricks.

It’s when Jens is laughing so hard he has to lean on Kes for support that he first notices Lucas’s sullen look.

Then he remembers his resentment and the reason for it, a little.

Kes and Jayden accompany them back to Lucas’s house, where his mother has vacated, slipping out to meet someone before returning to have dinner with her son and his ‘handsome new friend’. Jens finds himself navigating back to Lucas, feeling odd in the personal space that the other boys occupy so easily. Lucas still seems quiet. He hasn’t spoken much to Jens in the past hour or so, but he doesn’t seem to mind that Jens has planted himself at his side again, so Jens clings onto the proximity now and resolves to figure out the problem when they’re alone.

The opportunity arises when Kes and Jayden are in the middle of a video game and Lucas quietly mumbles that he’s going to get a drink. Jens watches him go, then glances back at the screen for a moment before getting up to follow.

He finds Lucas at the counter in the kitchen, stood silently with a finger running around the rim of his half-filled glass. He glances up as Jens comes in, straightening up and looking away entirely again as Jens leans next to him, side by side but facing opposite directions.

Jens crosses his arms over his chest and tries to figure out how to go about this. “Your friends are nice,” he says. “I like them more than I expected. Not that I thought I wouldn’t, but, you know what I mean.”

Lucas hums, staring down at the sink. He takes a sip of his water before mumbling, “Yeah, I’ve noticed.”

Jens cocks his head, pursing his lips. It’s a more sullen response than he prepared for. He assumed Lucas would brush him off, but this feels like an opening. He should just get to the point. “You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

Lucas whips his gaze up to look at him, then quickly away again. A flush creeps up his neck and spreads through his cheeks. “No.”

“Convincing,” Jens snorts.

“I’m not jealous,” Lucas says adamantly. “What would I be jealous of?”

Jens shrugs. This time he’s the one to look away, staring down at his socked feet as he rubs them against the tiles. “I was probably stealing your time with Kes. I know you’re always excited to see him, and you didn’t think I’d be in the way so much. I’m sorry.”

The room is utterly silent.

It must be a full minute before Lucas says, incredulous, “What?”

Jens feels his own face heat up, and he doesn’t bother with an answer. He’s said sorry. Lucas can choose whether to accept it or not, and he has a free opening now if he wants to tell Jens to fuck off back home.

He doesn’t really think Lucas would do that, but well, he knows how much the boy likes Kes. He’s been pretty sure for a while that Lucas likes him, in fact.

Lucas feet enter his sight as well as the boy comes to stand in front of him. “Jens, seriously. What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Kes,” Jens sighs, exasperated, finally looking up at him. He falters for a moment, because he hadn’t expected Lucas to be so close, but him and his eyes and his lips are all just right there. It makes Jens feel even sillier, but he steels himself. “I know you’d rather spend more time with him and I’m sorry, okay?”

Lucas stares at him. Jens can’t decipher his expression at all. “Hang on. You think I’m pissed, because you’re stealing Kes?” He almost sounds amused.

Jens furrows his brow. “Yeah?” It’s the only thing that makes sense. Jens knows he would have been moping, if he’d come just to hang around and watch Lucas give Kes all his attention for the weekend. Lucas wants to be with Kes—to spend time with him, or more, Jens really doesn’t want to know—so of course he’s upset that he’s not getting as much time—

A laugh bubbles out of Lucas. “Uhm, Jens. It’s the other way around.”

Jens blinks. The words don’t immediately compute at all, but then once they reach his brain and he takes them apart, it doesn’t make sense. The other way around would be Kes stealing Jens, and if Lucas is upset because of that, then it would mean that Jens is the one...

“Wait,” he breathes. “Seriously?”

“Oh my god,” Lucas laughs.

“Lucas, seriously?”

“Jesus, you’re so stupid. Have you been jealous this whole time? Oh my god.”

“Stop,” Jens whines, but there’s a smile growing on his lips that he couldn’t dream of stopping. “That’s a lie. I’m not jealous. I have never been jealous, ever, in my life.”

Lucas is definitely very amused. “Well, that’s definitely a lie.”

Jens lets his smile settle in a wide grin. He doesn’t even care about arguing because, for one, Lucas is right, and because he’s too bewildered but happy at the moment to form words.

“I brought you this weekend hoping I could tell you, dumbass. Or at least have you mostly to myself,” Lucas admits. “But then, I actually wasn’t expecting...”

Jens rocks away from the counter into his space, ecstatic. “You thought they were stealing me away.” Lucas rolls his eyes, but he can’t hold Jens’s gaze, so Jens know he’s right. “Okay, well that’s easy now. You don’t have to worry. I’m all yours, Luc.”

Lucas looks up at him hesitantly, appearing to be fighting a smile of his own. “Yeah?”

Jens nods. “And I was very excited about it, too. Sneaky, you know, planning to get my into your room right off the bat and everything.”

“Oh, shut up,” Lucas scoffs, shoving his shoulder.

Jens laughs, and bounces right back, leaning even closer to Lucas now. It’s okay, when he can actually admire the boy’s face; when Lucas is the one glancing down at his lips and Jens can hear his breath hitch. Jens is floating all over again, and he’s pretty sure why, this time. “Can I kiss you?” he asks anyway, voice at a murmur.

Lucas answers by leaning in and pressing their lips together, lightly, but surely, hand immediately lifting to settle on Jens’s shoulder. Jens fits his hands over Lucas’s hips and kisses back, trying to muffle his smile enough that it doesn’t hinder their movements. It doesn’t help that Lucas is having the same problem. After the first few touches, though, their mouths get with the program and settle into an easy rhythm.

It’s complete and utter bliss.

It only lasts all of about thirty seconds.

“Hey, Luc—”

Kes cuts himself off as the boys quickly part and look at where he’s stood in the doorway. He’s staring at them with pursed lips, repressing a smile, only halfway into the room with his hand on the frame.

Jens curls his hands in the hem of Lucas’s shirt, feeling suddenly nervous, but Kes settles his attention on Lucas.

“If you just wanted us to piss off so you could make out with your boyfriend, you could’ve just said something instead of giving me all the death glares.”

He raises his brows, and Lucas flushes right up to the tips of his ears, and Jens decides he probably really does like Kes after all.

Still, Lucas tells him, “Piss off so I can make out with my boyfriend, then.”

Kes doesn’t argue, only tapping the doorframe before he disappears again with a grin, so Jens isn’t going to argue, either.

Lucas rolls his eyes at his smug look, but he does follow through and kisses him again.

Dialogue Prompts

[pickledpascal]

There's a She-Wolf in the Closet

Chapter Thirteen: Happy When I'm Sad

Summary: Jayden's nervousness amps up as it gets closer and closer to her film date. And even though Sherlock's not there, he knows just how to calm her down.

Warnings: Anxiety, breaking and entering (?), self worth issues.

Word Count: 1.1k

TASWITC Masterlist

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

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As the months of filming drew closer for Jayden, so did her nerves. What if she wasn't ready for something of this magnitude? She's only been in small plays, only occasionally getting the main character or a big part. Now she's going to be the protagonist in a big budget superhero film where they'd usually hire faces the audience has seen in other projects. This would be the first ever acting credit Jayden would have on…. Any website. 

The girl isn't even an indie actress, she's no one. There's no fan made films she's ever done or even short features. The girl has barely even been an extra in a TV show.

She expressed her worry to one of the production assistants but they soothed her, even if it was an empty compliment or two, it did settle her nerves until she got home for the night. It all suddenly hit her. Jayden would be filming in a month or two from then. Which meant the next year or so she would spend away from her home. Was she prepared for that? 

Jayden wanted to be an actress. A huge one that everyone in their right mind couldn't ignore and loved. But was this too soon? She certainly hoped not. The young woman has wanted this forever, for as long as she can remember. 

Even seeing the movies her parents carefully curated for her, she wanted to be an actress. To wear pretty costumes, have her hair meticulously in or out of her face to add to a scene, to be able to go to far away lands that no one could dream of. It was a type of paradise only she thought she could reach. But that wasn't so.

Jayden knew she used these shows and movies as a coping mechanism. Escapism. It helped most of the time. Other times, it simply didn't. 

Now though, she was truly in the mechanism that is film making. Another small gear in the huge machine that is Hollywood. She was mostly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, as were most actors and people in general. 

The young woman shook her head. She needed to stop with the existentialism or she would have a panic attack. 

Jayden took a deep breath after entering her apartment and quickly went to grab a cup and fill it with chocolate milk. While a cup of coffee was comforting there was something even more soothing about a nice glass of chocolate milk. Reminiscent of a time of her childhood that wasn't as horrible.  

She knew she should be happy. Elated even. Her name would forever be etched into the eyes of Hollywood. But maybe part of her doubts was that she would only be cast in Superhero movies. Her only source of income would be that. Nothing else. Jayden didn't want to be typecast, she knew how damaging it could be to some careers. 

Then a ping grabbed Jayden from her thoughts. A text from one of the costume designers.

This is the final design!

We'd like you to come over

tomorrow so we can

adjust accordingly, thanks!

Another deep breath from Jayden and a small smile made its way to her face. The costume was almost done, just some small adjustments…. Probably around her crotch area. It was a little funny that everyone knew they hired a trans actress and yet there still wasn't enough room for her package in the costume.

The woman took a long sip from her glass and pursed her lips for a moment. She wondered where Sherlock was, usually he'd be barreling through her door at this point. Maybe he was out? At least it was quiet for the time being.

Jayden quickly drank the rest of her milk and set the glass in the sink, holding onto the counter as she took a breath. She could do this. Her whole life led up to this moment and she couldn't–shouldn't–back out now. As the woman looked into her reflection in a metallic pot, she realized she's exactly where she needs to be. 

The woman has friends now. True ones. Good ones. They will help her. She's not alone anymore. Jayden doesn't have to do things by herself if she doesn't want to. 

Sherlock is a loyal friend and isn't one to sugar coat things, great if asking for advice. While John is nicer than Sherlock, he's still good to come to for advice since he's lived a longer life. And Mary…. Jayden could tell she would be able to come to her for anything, advice, clothes shopping, makeup products. 

They all seem to also care less that she is transgender. And not in the bad way.

Jayden couldn't help the light smile that made it to her lips. She was glad she could function without friends but wasn't it sweeter being able to function with them? She could share her excitement about roles with them rather than just screaming in her apartment by herself. Which seemed much much sadder. They could go out together, have fun by simply walking around and perhaps shopping. Though she was the youngest out of the four, she would be able to stay out longer. Plus, John and Mary had a child…. Maybe not the best idea to go out in the afternoon.

As Jayden went into her bedroom to change into some pajamas, she noticed a mug on her nightstand along with a note underneath. 

After a long day, I usually like 

some tea but since you're not one 

for that, I made some hot cocoa.

Have a good night, Jay.

– SH

The smile on Jayden's face widened at the note, pursing her lips before she set the note in her drawer and took a sip of the cocoa. She blinked at the taste. It was everything she liked…. 

Well, of course Sherlock noticed. Jay loved a sprinkle of cinnamon in her hot cocoa to make it taste similar to a chocolate snickerdoodle. 

Then she also noticed some pajamas were already sitting on her bed. That had to be Sherlock yet again. Jayden shook her head and let out a small laugh, realizing the man probably had to pick her lock to get inside. The things that man does for a simple payoff like this….

Getting ready for bed that night was much easier than the previous ones partly because Sherlock helped with it but also because Jayden made peace with something. That she'll be okay in the end, no matter what happened because there were people now backing her. They would show up to her movies even if no one else did and Jayden was okay with that.

Sure, it would be nice to impress the world but it would be a hell of a lot cooler if she impressed both herself and her friends. That's what mattered.

---------

taglist

@thewinterpoet2

[justcourttee]

And They Were Roommates- Pt 21

A/N so so so sorry for how late this was posting. promise the next chapter will be up super soon

Marinette took a deep breath before the elevator doors slid open to the workshop. Before she could even step out, a round of applause erupted from the room, causing a blush to rise up the girl’s cheeks.

“And there she is! The woman of the hour! Everyone, give a big congratulations to Marinette for signing her first sponsorship over winter break!”

The applause slowly died out as Marinette dished out small thank you’s to everyone. She took her seat in the meeting hall, pulling out her sketchpad in case anything important was said.

“As you all know, this week was your first week of classes for the spring semester and over half of you will be graduating soon!”

Another round of applause sounded through the room as a few seniors cheered.

“Unfortunately that does mean that many of you will be leaving my workshop and entering the workforce hopefully with your head level after spending much of your college years here.” Several scattered laughter could be heard, but there was a light sadness to them. “With that being said, on all of your workstations, I have placed several application folders that I have deemed worthy of your spots. It is up to you to finalize the decision though.”

Marinette felt her heart stop. She knew that this time would come, but she didn’t want to be the one to turn somebody down for this opportunity. She knew what it meant to get into this workshop and to be the one to turn down somebody for it-

“That will be all for this week’s meeting. Please get to work on your various projects and as always, this workshop is a priority, but don’t let me find out that some of your grades are slipping due to it!”

She clapped her hands twice and everyone scattered. Sure enough, there were three applications sitting at Marinette’s workstation, all vying for her attention. Carefully, she slid them to the side to make room for her sketchbook. Tim already had gotten her two commissions from small businessmen looking for new suits and a reasonable price.

Two hours in and she was finally satisfied with the outcome of her sketch. Her eyes kept flickering to the folders sitting on the edge of her station, begging her to open them. She bit her lip hard as her hand hovered over the closest one.

“Having trouble deciding?”

A girl leaned against her workstation wall, snapping her attention from the folders.

“I know what this internship did for me and the thought of denying someone this opportunity, well-” Marinette trailed off, her eyes falling back to the applications.

“I know what you mean. This internship practically has a job set up for me the minute I finish crossing that stage, how do you decide who’s worthy for that?”

Marinette nodded as the girl shook her head before stepping away, leaving Marinette with a renewed pain. In a quick motion, she snatched up the first folder, laying it across her desk.

Jayden Robinson. Aspiring designer. Business major. Commissioned by most people from her hometown for everything from prom dresses to wedding dresses.

A small smile crept on Marinette’s face. It was so similar to Marinette that it almost felt nostalgic looking through her application. For sure she would be a front runner. At least that’s what she thought.

Opening the second folder, Marinette felt her smile drop.

Julia Hester. Aspiring Journalist. Journalism major. Made her way to chief editor of University Newspaper by the end of her freshman year.

Marinette knew how much this internship would mean to Julia. It’s all she had talked about ever since Marinette told her she worked here. Hell, it would probably guarantee her a spot at the Daily Planet upon her graduation.

After this, Marinette didn’t even want to look at the third application, but her curiosity was eating her up.

Ashmad Batish. Aspiring counselor. Psychology Major. Managed to correctly diagnose 170/170 on a Doctoral entrance exam his Sophomore year.

Slamming all three folders shut, Marinette buried her head in her hands. The only thing she was sure of was that she was not getting any work done today. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  

“Hey Marinette! Tell Chloe to give me back my hoodie! I don’t care about her aesthetics, I’m just cold and it’s my favorite one!”

She had barely made it one foot in the door and she was already debating if the folders inside her bag would be less trouble than her roommates.

“Noo, Dupen-Chang, tell adrien to stop being a whiny little kid and wear another sweatshirt. This one flows with my outfit!”

They continued bickering as she slipped past them and into the hallway. Turning the knob as softly as she could, she slipped into Damian’s room where the bickering finally ceased.

“They are as insufferable as Timothy and Jason, I do not see how you have lived with them for nearly four years.”

Marinette smiled softly as she plopped on Damian’s bed, dropping her bag to the floor.

“They’re like part time siblings, I don’t have to deal with it 24/7.”

Damina hummed thoughtfully as he sat down his book, pulling her into his side.

“How was your first day back to the workshop, Drake mentioned you already had two commissions from business partners.”

She let out a groan as she buried her face into his side.

“I barely got anything done besides the base sketch. Apparently as a graduating senior, Professor Brookes narrows down the choices for our replacements, but we have final say in who gets our spot. I spent all day looking over my choices and I’ve only narrowed it down to two.”

Wordlessly, Damian reached over, his hand searching for her bag. Pulling up the bag in a swift motion, he grabbed the three folders that sat inside. He took a moment to scan the options before handing her one folder in particular.

“It seems pretty obvious, Julia Hester should be your choice. Not only is she an adequate journalist, but she is in a way your friend, correct?”

“She is, but i want my decision to be fair! Not based on friendship. How do I know that subconsciously I’m only choosing her because I know her?”

Damian sat up a little further, causing her to look up at him.

“Why not both? This internship would not benefit the psychology major, nor the business major. If the girl is entering this internship to go straight to work under somebody, she will never be able to stand on her own away from the brand she goes under. That is something you explained to me. Even if you were not making the decision based off of friendship, all signs still point to Julia.”

Marinette paused, her finger half risen as if she was ready to refute his statement-except, she couldn’t find a flaw in his logic. She let out a defeated sigh as she buried her head into his sigh.

“I really hate it when you use logic on me.”

She felt his laughter rumble through his chest as he pressed a light kiss to her forehead.

“How dare I?”

It wasn’t much longer until he heard her snoring, slightly muffled by his shirt. Re-opening his book, Damian began again, relishing in the warmth of his soulmate snuggled into his side.  

Tag List:

@damianette-is-life @ladybug-182 @fusser90 @thestressmademedoit @dast218 @thezestywalru @jardimazul-blog @olynix @dorkus-minimus @xahriia @kris-pines04 @urbanpineapplefarmer @moonlightstar64 @itsmeevie01 @little-lady-bird @alexandriamw @lozzybowe @emmdaenovice @loysydark @toodaloo-kangaroo @jessigurl-design @aegyobutpsycho2 @stark-morgoona @tis-i-beanbandit @rebecarojas07 @abrx2002 @ash-amg @loveswifi @heaven428 @dreamykitty25 @marinettepotterandplagg @smolplantmum @clumsy-owl-4178 @books-and-left-behind-journals @joejoejodee @iloontjeboontje @maybemanymuffins @zalladane @mysupporthyperfixations @tomandjerrydatingsim @naimena @redeemingmygloryintopurgatory @thornalchemist23 @goddessofthewestwind @thehufflepuffranger-blog  @aestheticnpoetic @more-or-less-human-i-guess @parish-vita @kitsunebell @catthhay @kking13 @thequeenofpotatoeunicornss @sapphirewilliams5095  @bigpicklebananatree @lozzybowe @jabalem @k-poplunardreams @lordsmeldingtonthethird @purplesundaze @synnesstra @nik-nak-3

[ghosttotheparty]

while the world ends around us (make believe with me)

2. I just wanna go where I can get some space AO3

Lucas doesn't know what to do with himself. 

He still hasn’t worked up the energy or motivation to unpack beyond what he needs, even after weeks of being in Antwerp. He’s barely even worked up the motivation to get out of bed. 

He’s barely left the apartment, even after his two-week quarantine mostly in his room (during which he unpacked a few shirts and the white comforter that’s strewn across his mattress, which lies on the floor next to a window), despite his father’s demands that he get groceries. That was their first fight after Lucas moved in. Words had been thrown around the room. Lucas wishes he had thrown other things too. Anything that might just convince his father to send him back to Utrecht. Maybe some plates. Glass. But he figures that would probably just get his father’s belt lashed at him. 

When his father finally surrendered to letting Lucas stay home, he told him to unpack. And then told him that he isn’t allowed to put anything on the walls. Not even with tape. 

So Lucas has boxes and boxes filled with things he can do nothing with but look at. Photos he’d printed before moving specifically to put on his walls, that he now just thumbs through longingly, gazing at Kes and Jayden and Isa and Liv. He even has photos of Noah, whom he’d gotten closer to in the days before the move. Noah had given him a goodbye gift of a set of pencils accompanied with a wink and a hug later on that night. He’d told Lucas that he’d caught him doodling on a napkin at a get-together a few weeks before. 

“You’re pretty good,” Noah had told him. “You could do it seriously.”

“I do,” Lucas had responded. “I just don’t show anyone.” 

“Well maybe if you show more people, more people will get you new supplies.” 

Lucas had just made a face and allowed him a “Maybe.” 

The pencils are in the same box as all his sketchbooks, the ones he’s started filling with drawings and doodles, and the ones that are completely blank, bought before he moved just in case he wouldn’t be able to buy any after arriving.  In the box, he also has watercolours and paints and an abundance of brushes, along with palette knives he’s never used. The box is on the floor next to his door. He moved it from the top of a stack of boxes after needing to find his lined notebooks for school. And his clothes. 

Anyway. 

The photos. 

He remembers when they were taken. He heard a lot of laughter that day. He had taken some before Kes had snatched his phone (freshly cleared of storage just for the occasion), and taken more than Lucas had bothered to count. Pictures of Lucas and Isa, Isa by herself, Lucas and Liv, Lucas and Janna, Lucas and Engel, Lucas and Noah, Lucas and Jayden, Lucas and Ralph, before he had begun taking photos of them not posing. Photos of them eating, laughing, talking, hugging.  Them all existing. 

They were beautiful.

Lucas had told Kes he could be a photographer. Kes had said he’s never thought about it. 

Then Lucas had taken his phone back and taken photos of Kes and the others until his storage ran out.

He printed each and every one of them.

He flips through them whenever he can, grinning and rolling his eyes at the photos of Jayden making a face and the photo of Noah flipping his middle finger to Kes with a flat face, smiling fondly at the photo of Liv and Isa hugging, Isa’s cheek squished against Liv’s, gazing longingly at the ones of them all together. 

He sighs. 

He supposes he feels lonely now. Of course, he’s still been talking to them, chatting and giggling at the stupid videos and memes they send, but he hasn’t seen or touched them since he moved. He thinks he misses that the most. Hugging, shaking hands, receiving cheek kisses from Isa and Janna and Ralph. Sitting on a sofa and immediately feeling someone’s leg press against his, or lay over his lap. Feeling someone’s head rest on his shoulder, someone’s fingers mess with his curls. He misses when Isa would stand too close while talking to him, close enough for him to wrap his arms around her waist and hold her close while she speaks. He misses when Kes’s thigh would press against his as they sat side-by-side, and when Jayden would greet him with a fist to his shoulder, or Ralph with a pinch on his cheek. 

He hasn’t touched anyone since moving. He doesn’t think the accidental brushes against his father’s shoulders as he storms past count. 

He misses it, more so sometimes than others. Sometimes he misses it so badly he aches, pulling a pillow to his chest, or wrapping his arms around his legs, trying to feel some sort of contact, some sort of pressure. Sometimes he wonders if he’ll forget what it feels like to touch other people. He, no one for that matter, doesn’t know when it’ll be completely safe to touch others, to hang out with them without covering their faces, to greet them with kisses on the cheek, the way Janna likes to. He doesn’t even know if he’ll have anyone he’ll want to do those things with. 

He doubts he’ll find friends like Kes and Jayden, kind of doubts he’ll find friends full stop. 

It’s not like he’s going to have the opportunity to get to know anyone at school, as they’re not even at school. And it’s not like he really wants to make friends, anyway. He’ll just leave Antwerp after high school, just have to say goodbye. The first chance he gets, he’s leaving on a train back to Utrecht. He’ll figure his life out from there. 

But for now, this is what he has: a mattress on the floor. Blank walls. Towering cardboard boxes. A stash of cigarettes and weed hidden between his mattress and the wall. His skateboard propped up against a stack of boxes. His laptop sitting on top of a box, ready for when he finally starts school, which he’s dreading. 

Just more things to do. 

More chores. 

Everything feels like a chore lately. If he thinks about it, everything’s felt like a chore for a while now. Instead of a to-do list, he has a fuck, I still have to do that list. It takes energy to roll out of bed. It takes commitment to wake up. 

It’s gotten worse since he got to Antwerp. Maybe, he thinks, because it’s so much work to exist in the same place as his father, who blames him for every single thing the universe throws his way. But he also thinks it’s because there’s no one here to shake him out of it. Back home, he would get texts and texts from his friends, telling him to meet them at the skatepark, at a cafe, at some party. Giving him things to do. 

Here, he still gets texts. 

He answers them laying in bed. 

He doesn’t know how to explain it. 

It feels like something is missing. Like there’s an emptiness in him. It’s easier to ignore when he’s around other people, when he’s listening to loud music and talking and laughing, or scrolling endlessly on social media. It’s easier to pretend there’s something there, on that empty shelf in his chest. 

Sometimes it’s sadness, he thinks. Especially since he moved. Sadness from missing home, missing people. But most of the time it’s just… nothing. 

And he can’t really spend time with his friends, so he scrolls. Or draws or paints. But he hasn’t been making much art beyond sketches lately. 

Part of him hopes he might make some friends when school starts, at least some people to chat with, or hang out with when it’s safe. But if he’s completely honest with himself, he’s not expecting to. He doesn’t even remember how he became friends with most of the friends he has. Kes and Isa had, for lack of a better word, adopted him when they were younger, had taken him under their wings and shown him the ropes of existence. 

Which feel like they’re unravelling. 

Lucas rolls over in bed, looking up at his laptop on the boxes, sighing. This is his life now. Boxes and the internet. The sound of his father tripping down the hall, grumbling to himself because Lucas isn’t there to scold. (This is just about the only instance Lucas can think of when he hears his father’s voice. The amount of words they’ve exchanged outside of their fights could usually be counted on two hands.) He’ll finally hear some voices that don’t belong to his father next week when he goes to class. 

The thought of going back to school, even through video calls and online assignments, makes him itch. He’s picked his lips red and raw in the past few days, without Isa to swat his hands away from his face before he can start tasting blood. When he lets his mind wander, his leg starts to bounce. His mom would set her hand on his knee, making it stop, and chuckle while telling him he’s making her seasick. He doesn’t even realise he’s doing it. 

He already has lots of emails from teachers; he checks every time he uses his laptop, but he hasn’t responded to any of them. They all sound the same.

This is new to all of us The school year looks very different this year Thank you all for doing your best! These are uncertain times This digital landscape is difficult to navigate This is a unique challenge This could be an opportunity for you

All monotonous, inspiring voices of people waiting. 

He doesn’t know how the hell he’s supposed to respond to any of them. 

He tries to think that is really is something everyone is experiencing. That This is new to all of us and We’re all doing what we can, but he feels like he’s in it alone. He knows even Kes and the others aren’t seeing each other in person, aren’t hugging and hanging out the way Lucas longs to, but at least they’re at home. Lucas is stuck in a box, and it feels like it’s closing around him. 

He sighs again, shutting his eyes. It’s not quite dark yet, but he feels exhausted, even after doing nothing all day. He’ll probably wake up in a few hours anyway. And he’ll open his blinds, looking out at the city, just half-alive, just like him. 

[queenmendes]

hands |s. mendes

Summary: Shawn knows you love his hands; but someone else steals his spotlight.

A/N: Little dad!shawn + some family time blurb!! Hope y’all enjoy, I’ve had this stored for months now.

Warnings: Fluff, cute little baby hands, and bad writing ;)

++++++

You love Shawn’s hands; they were gigantic in comparison to yours but that’s why you loved it. How he played guitar with them. How he rubs your back with them. How he is able to carry two waters and his phone in one of them just so he can hold your hand in the other. You also loved how his hands held your son, Jayden Raul Mendes, so perfectly. Shawn’s hands fit around your son like a protective cocoon when he was a baby.

Shawn knew about your obsession with his hands; you were obvious about it. You were constantly playing with them; hold them up to compare to your own despite being together for 6 years and having done it a million times. Shawn thought your fascination with his hands was adorable, which is why it doesn’t shock him when you randomly grab it and play with it.

Like now.

Shawn was home in between legs of his tour. His main goal was to spend as much time with you and Jayden as he possibly could, with no interruptions. That’s exactly why he flew the three of you out to a little island off the coast of Greece. It’s been an amazing two weeks here. Just him and his little family. Sadly, tomorrow it is time to go back home.

Today, the three of you were laying on the beach; making the most of the last day here. Shawn was laying on the towels placed on the sand, watching the two most important people in his life. Jayden was leading you down the waterline, squealing in delight when the water came up further and splashed him lightly.

“Daddy! Look!” Jayden sprinted as fast as his toddler legs could carry him. Jayden jumped into Shawn’s lap, and shoved his hands up to his dad’s face, bouncing in excitement. Shawn leaned back slightly, taking the object from the tiny, chubby hands.

“Cool buddy! Did you find this all yourself?” Shawn gasped in amazement at the sea shell. It was a simple; white with small, dull spikes on it. Jayden nodded proudly. “Let’s put it in mama’s bag so we can take it home.” Shawn suggested and Jayden quickly did just that; not wanting to lose his treasure. While his son was preoccupied, Shawn got the chance to look at you again. His beautiful wife. The sun was hitting you perfect as you made your way back over to your boys. It made you look like an angel in that moment; but Shawn thought you always looked like one.

“Hey baby.” Shawn smiled lazily as you sat down on your knees, to face him. He swears his heart stops when you smile back. After being together this long, his heart still stops every time. You softly kiss his cheek, completely in bliss from this time away with your boys. Shawn lays down, spreading his arms out so he could play with the sand.

You began video with his phone; capturing the last day here. You got distracted by his hands softly brushing back and forth in the sand; letting it fall from in between his fingers before doing it again. You couldn’t help yourself. As he laid his hand flat on the sand, you gently placed yours on his; phone filming it all. Shawn turned his head to look at you; a soft smile on both of your lips at the small little moment you shared.

However, it got better.

Jayden looked over to see the two of you during your moment. His eyes going to your hand resting on top of Shawn’s. His attention went down to his little hands in front of him and then back to the two of you. He giggled as he crawled onto Shawn’s stomach, reaching over and placing his little, chubby hand on top of yours. You swear your heart burst and tears pinched your eyes as you looked at the cutest hand in the world lay on top of yours. How did you get so lucky with the cutest, most precious baby boy? Shawn saw that look in your eyes. It’s the same look you have when looking at him and his hands. Adoration.

“Awe baby.” You cooed, placing the phone down and grabbing you boy. Jayden giggled as you placed multiple kisses on his hands. Jayden returns the favor and kisses your hand back before grabbing Shawn's hand and repeating the action.

The rockstar smiles at his family in pure love. He is pretty sure you replaced his hands with Jayden’s but he didn’t care. The giggles from his wife and son as they continued to play with each other’s hands was all he needed.

[azozzoni]

Some extra van der stoffels for your christmas eve. This is not related to the big fic, just something fun.

*

The weather is finally turning, little green buds sprouting on the trees, blue skies breaking through rain clouds, and thank god, Jens thinks. He can’t wait until it’s warm enough to wear tee shirts again, but for now, he’s still got his sweatshirt on as he stands outside the bus station, checking the time on his phone before tucking it in his pocket.

Lucas should be there any minute, as long as the bus is on time.

It’s been two weeks since Jens has seen him, two very long weeks in which even Robbe accused him of moping. Jens does not mope. He just misses Lucas is all--misses the stupid way he laughs and teases Jens about the fact that he only owns two sweatshirts, misses the way he seems to melt whenever Jens smiles at him. God, he is going soft.

Jens forgets about all of that, though, when he catches sight of Lucas stepping out the door, head swiveling to find Jens amongst the people milling around the station.

His face lights up when he spots Jens, and Jens shoves down the glow in his stomach as Lucas hurries toward him, biting his lip and looking more pleased with himself than usual. It takes Jens a minute to realize why as Lucas gets closer, bounds into his space, arms around his neck.

“What the fuck is that?” Jens asks, grabbing Lucas’ face before Lucas can kiss him, holding him back a few inches to stare at the shiny silver ring in Lucas’ nostril. That is definitely new. And definitely hot.

“You like it?” Lucas asks, as if he knows the answer already. He probably does from the way Jens has to stop himself staring, force himself to blink, turning Lucas’ chin to the side so he can get a better look.

“When did you get it?” he demands, and Lucas grins, eyes sliding to Jens’ even as Jens keeps his chin turned to the side.

“Couple weeks ago,” Lucas says, reaching for Jens’ hoodie pockets and tugging him closer. “I went with Isa.”

Jens hasn’t met all of Lucas’ friends yet, but he remembers Isa, the girl with curly hair and a bright smile who hugged him so tightly when they first met.

Jens drops his fingers from Lucas’ chin finally. “You kept this a secret for that long?”

Licking his lips, Lucas nods, and Jens hates what that does to him, makes him think of panting breaths and slick skin in the darkness. But he can’t think about that when they’re standing in a crowded bus station and they have somewhere to be in half an hour.

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Lucas says, eyes big as he watches Jens, as if maybe he is worried Jens doesn’t like it. “So what do you think?”

“I think you’re so incredibly hot already, this is just going to make it impossible for me to keep my hands to myself,” Jens says simply, pulling Lucas into a kiss, feeling Lucas’ smile against his lips as Lucas’ arms slide around his waist.

Jens doesn’t know how long they stand there, probably too long to be making out in the middle of a bus station, but he doesn’t care. It’s been two weeks since he’s been able to do this, and he’s going to make the most of the time they have today.

“Aren’t we going to be late?” Lucas asks finally, pulling away to take a breath, huff it out against Jens’ chin like maybe he doesn’t care about being late. Jens certainly doesn’t care. He’d much rather take Lucas back to his apartment--not even to spend the whole afternoon wrapped up in bed, but just to catch up, to find out if Jayden ever got a date with that girl he was chasing after last time Jens came to visit, if Kes and Isa are on the path to getting back together, if Lucas had missed him too.

It’s with that thought that Jens reluctantly lets Lucas go. “I guess we should go. Not that Robbe will notice if we don’t. He’ll be too busy making moon eyes at Sander.”

“I think Sander would appreciate it,” Lucas says, and Jens is no longer surprised when Lucas takes his hand and they head for the crosswalk.

Lucas probably knows more about what Sander would appreciate considering he has his mom to deal with, so Jens leads the way, trying not to think about how much he would rather be kissing Lucas right now instead of heading to an art show for Sander’s school. Art is something Jens knows absolutely nothing about. But he promised Robbe, and he’d invited Lucas, and they were going.

“So what do I say about the art?” Lucas asks when they reach the school, and Jens laughs.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.”

“Then I guess we’ll just be uncultured idiots together,” Lucas says, and he doesn’t blush like he used to, when they first met. It takes a lot more to make Lucas blush now, but Jens sees it as a challenge.

“Maybe it will be all drawings of Robbe,” Jens says as they enter the building, following the signs to the gallery where more people than Jens expects. “Then we can tease him about it for the rest of his life.”

Lucas smiles but he doesn’t say anything as they reach the gallery.

Jens has never been here, never been to Sander’s school actually. The gallery is a large, white room, partitioned with moveable walls, different types of art hung up. Jens doesn’t see anyone he knows, wandering through the exhibits. To his credit, Lucas appears to be appreciating several they pass.

“You know,” Jens says as they pass what he thinks might be a sculpture. It also might be trash. Turning to Lucas, he pulls him in closer, smiling at the shiny new piercing in his nose. He wonders what spurred Lucas to do such a thing. “We could just say we couldn’t find them. My apartment’s empty for the next few hours.”

Lucas glances at him, half a smirk on his face. “These are your friends,” he says, as though Jens isn’t perfectly aware.

“And I invited you before I knew you were going to show up looking so good,” he says, snaking an arm around Lucas’ waist, murmuring his next words against his temple. “I don’t think I can wait a whole hour to get you alone.”

He’s rewarded with a blush this time, a pink tinge along Lucas’ cheeks, the tips of his ears, the back of his neck.

“So I don’t always look good?” Lucas asks instead, and Jens bites back his grin as he tips Lucas’ mouth up to his.

“You do,” he assures him. “It’s just been two very long weeks and I was unprepared.”

“Good answer,” Lucas says, and he grins as Jens leans in to kiss him.

“Hey, there you are!”

Robbe’s voice cuts through them like a knife, and Jens sighs as Lucas turns away before he can close the distance.

Jens is glad his friends like Lucas, that Lucas likes his friends, but right now, he’d rather that Robbe was off somewhere else instead of talking to Lucas enthusiastically about Sander’s drawings and dragging him over to some corner of the gallery.

Jens follows behind them, wrapping his arms around Lucas from behind as they admire Sander’s work. It’s not all Robbe’s face, which disappoints Jens a little. There are other people too, even one of Jens, which surprises him.

“Why is my face up there?” he asks, glancing at Robbe, who shrugs.

“You’re friends. He likes you.”

“No, that can’t be it,” Lucas says, and Jens scoffs, pressing a kiss to his neck instead.

“Shut up. Everyone likes me.”

Robbe is watching them now instead of the drawings, and Jens feels weirdly self-conscious for a second as he straightens up. He shouldn’t, he knows. After all, he’s been with Lucas for a few months now.

He’s saved from Robbe asking a question he doesn’t want to answer when Sander comes up behind them.

“Jens, Lucas,” he greets them both, hugging Lucas.

They get along like a house on fire, which Jens is glad for. Not that he thinks too much about what his friends think of who he’s dating. He never cared with Britt and Jana and Robbe had always been friends. But Lucas, Lucas is new to the whole group.

Sander steps back from Lucas, pointing at his face. “Is that new?”

“Uh, yeah,” Lucas says, glancing at Jens, who grins, biting his lip.

“I love it,” Sander says seriously. “Very rock and roll.” He glances at Jens. “You guys kind of match now.”

Jens isn’t expecting the way Lucas flushes this time, not quite meeting his gaze, and a thought occurs to him, one he hadn’t considered before.

“Thanks,” Lucas says, looking back at the drawings. “These are all amazing, though I don’t know why you’d want Jens’ ugly face in there.”

Jens scoffs, forgetting for a second about why Lucas pierced his nose. “I am the prettiest person on any wall.”

“Not the wall by the skate park,” Sander says, cheeky, hugging Robbe to him.

Well, nobody can compete with that, Jens thinks, watching Robbe giggle at whatever Sander whispers in his ear. He looks away to find Lucas watching him.

“You can’t fight a giant mural of Robbe’s face,” he says, shrugging. “But seriously, Sander, these are so good.”

Sander grins at Jens, looking only slightly embarrassed at the compliment.

“Thanks, guys. I really appreciate it. And thanks for coming all the way up here, Luc.”

Lucas smiles easily. “Can’t think of any other reason I’d rather come.”

Sander laughs as Jens pulls Lucas back against him, shaking his head.

“Asshole,” Jens says in his ear, messing up Lucas’ carefully styled curls.

“Do you guys even like each other?” Robbe asks, joking, as Lucas rakes his hair back into place.

“Not at all,” Jens says, but he takes Lucas’ hand. “But there’s other art to see, so we’ll catch you guys later.”

Robbe rolls his eyes, but neither he nor Sander stop them from heading in the opposite direction. Jens has no intention of looking at any of the art as they cross the gallery, heading towards the exit.

“Don’t you want to see anything else?” Lucas asks as they pass walls of abstract paintings, and Jens glances over his shoulder at him.

“I’ve already got a piece of art.”

Lucas laughs, tugging him to a stop as they leave the gallery, stepping into a long, empty hallway.

“Do those lines actually work?” he asks, stepping up to Jens, arms sliding around his neck.

“They worked for Sander,” Jens points out, but he doesn’t really care what worked for Sander. He’s already got Lucas right here, in his arms, close enough to kiss and no one around to interrupt them.

He should ask now before he chickens out, before he decides he doesn’t want to know the answer. He gaze sweeps up Lucas’ face, the moles on his skin, the pinkness of his lips, how incredibly blue his eyes are even in the dim hallway lighting. Jens doesn’t think about it often, how fucking gorgeous Lucas is, but he knows it. He’s known it since the first time he saw Lucas and his heart fell into his stomach.

“Why’d you pierce your nose?” he asks, the banter falling away. He watches the way Lucas takes a breath, eyebrows furrowing.

“I don’t know,” he says slowly. “My mom about died when I came home. I guess I kind of wanted something like yours.”

“You wanted to match,” Jens says, echoing Sander’s words, and Lucas makes a face.

“Not exactly. I didn’t pierce my ear.”

There’s a strange feeling in Jens’ stomach, like something warm and fuzzy has taken up residence there when Lucas looks back at him finally.

“Do you think that’s weird?” Lucas asks, apprehensive, and Jens shakes his head.

For a second, he bites it back, bites back the words gnawing at his tongue. But why should he? Why should he stop himself from admitting how he feels? Even if the boys will tease him forever. Even if Robbe will smile at him, all stupid and knowing as if he called it or something.

“I missed you,” he says finally, bringing a hand to Lucas’ jaw, watching Lucas’ eyebrows rise, as though surprised, as though pleased.

“You did?”

Jens nods. “Two weeks is too long without your face.”

It sounds so mushy when he says it out loud, but he wouldn’t take it back, not when Lucas’ eyes seem to shine brighter, his smile widening. He wants Lucas to look like that all the time.

“I missed you too,” Lucas says after a minute, whispers in the empty hall.

Jens gets to kiss him this time, holding him close and licking into his mouth as Lucas smiles against his lips, kisses him back.

“If you ever get another piercing, I want to know right away,” Jens murmurs when they part, lips soft and warm.

“Okay,” Lucas agrees, looking pleased with himself this time as he lifts his chin to kiss Jens again.

They’re not going to see any more art today, and Jens is perfectly okay with that. He’ll be perfectly okay with anything as long as it’s with Lucas.

[makaylajadewrites]

Union

Summary: From their moment together in the hotel room, things seemed to settle down quite a bit. The tension between Spencer and Derek was almost nonexistent, and the rest of the team was quick to jump on this realization too. They teased the two, asking if they had ‘kissed and made up’ but in actuality, it was so much more than that.

Potential tws: Smut

-

From their moment together in the hotel room, things seemed to settle down quite a bit. The tension between Spencer and Derek was almost nonexistent, and the rest of the team was quick to jump on this realization too. They teased the two, asking if they had ‘kissed and made up’ but in actuality, it was so much more than that. They decided that to have a publicly disclosed relationship in their field was somewhat dangerous and an extremely bad idea. If they were ever discovered, they would risk being split up or even fired, and neither wanted that. After all, waking up alongside each other was an amazing feeling, and he didn’t want them to have to go separate ways in the mornings like most couples did. It was so utterly, perfectly domestic between the two of them. Sometimes they stayed at Spencer’s apartment, other times at Derek’s house, and Derek had started going to almost all of Spencer’s shows to support him. Not only that, but it was a good view for Derek.

But he had told Spencer that he found both sides of him beautiful, and Spencer had to trust that since Derek had seen him in and out of drag and kissed him and showered him in compliments both ways. The first time they had sex, Spencer had no form of makeup on whatsoever. Hell, the closest thing to makeup on his face was the sweet smell of his cinnamon aftershave, and that didn’t deter Derek at all.

So far, they had been together for about two weeks. He had told his friends at work that he and Jayden hadn’t worked out, which they consoled him over even though he wasn’t as sad as he probably should have been. He knew that Jayden had been heartbroken, but no matter how many times he tried to apologize or explain the situation, he paid him no mind. He had even offered to meet up with him and talk about it in person, but Jayden had responded with, “The last thing I want to do is see your face again,” and from that point on, he broke all connection with Jayden. It was what he wanted, and Spencer figured it would be best to leave it that way.

Time couldn’t have gone by any slower, although Spencer knew that he was just imagining things because time intervals were never faster or slower than those that came before. They were always the same amount of time, but god damn this day was just crawling along. He stood up from his desk rather suddenly, Prentiss looking up at him from her desk right in front of his with wide eyes, only for Spencer to mutter a quiet apology and scurry off towards the break room. The door fell shut behind him, and he leaned forward with his hands against the edge of the counter, sighing softly before standing straight to refill his mug more coffee - which he probably didn't need, considering it was noon. He didn’t even hear the door open, and gasped aloud and flinched quite dramatically when a hand slid around his waist. He knew who it was instantly, and he looked back at Morgan with a little pout on his lips.

“Derek, stop,” he said warningly, having an incredible amount of anxiety regarding their relationship at work already, and Derek’s constant PDA was getting to be a bit difficult to deal with. He just didn’t want either of them to face the possible consequences or get split up because of their own inability to keep their relationship a secret. To be split up from Derek or the BAU would be torturous for Reid, and he knew he would most likely quit if it came to that point. He had job offers coming in almost every other day, so it wouldn’t be hard to find a position elsewhere or possibly within another department or government agency entirely.

“Can’t I give my man a bit of lovin’ at work?” Derek questioned, his head bowing down to let his nose nuzzle in the crease of his neck, drawing another gasp from Reid before he turned and pushed the other man away entirely, looking surprised at himself before acknowledging the confused and hurt expression on Derek’s face with one of guilt.

“I’m sorry… You know we can’t though. What if someone were to see us?” He asked quietly, reaching for the sugar and beginning to dump copious amounts into his mug. Derek just sighed, resting his hand over the counter and nodding slowly.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I just missed you,” Derek said quietly, to which Reid just laughed aloud, surprising Morgan.

“It’s been two days since we’ve last spent time together,” Spencer teased, nudging the other man’s arm and heading towards the door to get back to work.

“I know, but still…” Derek whined, following him out where they were greeted by JJ walking back to seemingly collect them all, and she looked at them with a grim expression on her face before passing by and heading towards the conference room with a quick word to Emily on the way.  The three regrouped on their way to the roundtable room and entered immediately, sitting down in their usual seats, which was somewhat awkward for Derek and Spencer since they were three seats apart, directly across from each other. But they could at least see each other.

They had already been pretty good at reading each other’s facial expressions, but over these past few months of built up tension and their eventual succumb to love, they had gotten even better. Derek was a bit grumpy, mainly because this case ruined any chance of them spending time together, but Spencer was neutral. Derek had learned that even in a relationship, Reid was still difficult to read, and times like now proved that since his expression was pretty much blank. Garcia was quick to gather their attention when she clicked her way up to the front of the room, the small remote for the tv in her hand while she looked over her tablet with the other. She turned on the tv and began the introduction:

“Alright crimefighters, local law enforcement in Modesto, California have requested our help in an apparent double homicide. They believe it is the work of a serial killer who committed an eerily similar event just a week prior…”

After the first day, they had limited down their suspect pool considerably to just one major company in the area, which three of the four victims worked for. But other than that, they had little to go off of since the employee count was still well in the thousands. All they knew was that, when eight o’clock rolled around, they decided to call it a night and return in the morning with fresh eyes. Spencer couldn’t be more pleased to learn that he and Morgan were sharing a room together, most likely done purposely by JJ who just seemed to acknowledge them with a smile. When they split up into their double rooms, as soon as Spencer closed the door behind them, Morgan had him pinned up against it, kissing him ferociously with little mercy, reminding him between kisses to keep his voice down.

Spencer gasped out his lover’s name as Derek’s lips attached his jugular, sucking lightly and nipping his pale skin. Dark hands were quick to cup his ass through the fabric of his corduroys, squeezing and hoisting him up, using the door as support. Spencer’s long legs quickly twined around the other’s waist, his palms roughly pushing up underneath of Derek’s shirt to feel the hot skin beneath.

“I missed you,” Derek murmured into his neck, accentuating his point with a soft, much gentler kiss to the underside of his jaw.

“It was only two days…” Spencer said again, breathless, although a smile curled his lips upwards as he turned his head to press his chest against Derek’s head.

“Too long in my book,” Derek responded cheekily, bringing Spencer away from the door and instead moving to throw him on the nearest bed. He climbed overtop of him and they continued where they left off, lips fitting together and hands wandering over the growing expanse of skin between them as clothes were discarded. Once they were both finally in nothing but undergarments, Spencer gently pushed Derek back, gazing up with those pretty eyes that Derek swooned for every time.

“We can’t have sex here,” he said softly, to which Morgan just chuckled and nodded his head in agreement, leaning down to peck his sweet lips before speaking.

“I know. That doesn’t mean we can’t do other things,” he teased, and Spencer blushed from his cheeks to his chest, and Derek just laughed. He kissed downwards over his clavicles, his tongue running over the sharp ridges before he slid down just a bit until God yes… Spencer muffled his moan with the back of his hand as Derek’s lips darted back and forth to suckle on his nipples, his hand resting over the patch of skin directly above the waistband of his boxers. The further south he went, the more excited Spencer grew, and he bit his lip as Derek passed just over his boxers, looking up at him, dark eyes sparkling with such intensity that Spencer thought he might pass out. His boxers were slipped down over the slender curve of his sharp hips, pushed down to his ankles.

Derek rested his cheek against Spencer’s hip, maintaining eye contact with Spencer while his hand rose to gentle stroke his lover’s member to complete hardness. A sharp hiss against his teeth and eyes squeezed shut, and Spencer was aware of his hypersensitivity again. The first time Morgan had done this, he came within the first five minutes, but even as embarrassed as he was, Derek assured him that it was fine, because when Spencer did it for Derek the first time, the same situation occurred. Perhaps it was just proof of how badly they desired each other intimately.

“You spoil me too much,” Spencer murmured with a smile, and Derek just chuckled deeply in his chest, stroking him for a little while longer. Soon enough though, his mouth replaced his hand, and Spencer was struggling to keep himself quiet as the pleasure flooded through him. Derek must have known the power he had over him, because seconds before Spencer was ready to come, he pulled back with an audible pop and squeezed him around the base to prevent him from climaxing. Fucking Christ he knew how to get Spencer riled up.

“Damn you, Derek Morgan,” Spencer breathed out, his chest heaving as a smile remained on his pretty face. Derek leaned up and kissed him warmly, pulling away to press their foreheads together, and neither looked away as Derek’s hand pressed their cocks together and began to stroke, their combined precum slicking up the sensitive skin and making the experience all the more pleasurable. They were both panting heavily, moaning and groaning quietly together while their hot breath mingled between their parted lips which connected every now and then.

“I’m close, baby,” Derek grunted above him, and Spencer leaned up to kiss him, moaning into his mouth as if in agreement. Within the next few minutes, they both reached their end, their coalesced releases splattering over Spencer’s belly in warm spurts. Panting and so caught up in one another, they kissed once more and Derek collapsed on the bed beside him, drawing his lithe body in with strong arms. They tucked together in a warm embrace and Spencer smiled at his lover, cupping his cheek with his hand and brushing his thumb over his cheekbone, admiring his handsome features.

“I missed you too,” he finally admitted, and Derek chuckled yet again and leaned down to kiss his nose cutely.

“That’s what I thought,” he said, and Spencer just rolled his head, his eyes lowering for a few seconds before he spoke up again, his voice remaining soft.

“I love you, Derek,” he confessed shyly, and Derek leaned down to kiss him deeply, his arms squeezing around him.

“I love you too, Pretty Boy,” he said without hesitation. He had seen Spencer’s darkest nights and his brightest days, and Derek wanted Spencer to know that he would be there forever, loving him in dusk.

<-Part 4: Only You | Part 6: The Performance->

[feather-aesthetic]

The Rewards of Being Loved

A/N: Wrote this when I watched the show last year, never finished it... well today I finished it.

Rating: T

Fandom: The Haunting of Hill House

Pairing: Sisterly Shirley and Theo

Summary: Theo explains her powers to Shirley, and they grow closer because of it.

Words: 2,500

Night has fallen on the Crain-Harris household, and the oft-lively home is still, and mostly quiet.  In the living room, two figures sit side-by-side on the couch, a cheesy Netflix rom-com playing on the television.  Theo Crain curls her legs underneath her, internally rolling her eyes at Shirley’s choice of movie.  Even though she doesn’t live right next door in Shirley’s guest house anymore, she still visits at least once a week, often bringing Trish along with her for dinner.  

This week, though, with Kevin chaperoning Jayden’s Boy Scout camping trip and Allie at a sleepover for the evening, Trish invented a work function to attend, not-so-gently encouraging Theo to spend some quality time with her sister.  And it’s not like she minds hanging out with her sister, in fact a growing part of her is so, so excited, but this movie is just… awful.  Theo sighs again as the female lead complains to her friend group about her love life.  She’s trying to contain her boredom, but she must not be subtle enough because Shirley shifts beside her, taking in a deep breath.

“Theo?”

“Sorry,” Theo sighs.  “This just really isn’t my thing.”

“What?  No, this movie is terrible,” Shirley hastens to reassure her.  “That’s not what I…”  Theo turns to her.  It’s not like Shirley to avoid speaking her mind, so whatever she’s thinking about, it must be pretty important.

“What’s wrong?”  Shirley’s eyes flicker around the room for a moment before settling on Theo, meeting her steady gaze.  She laughs, then, breaking the eye contact.

“I can’t talk to you when you’re making your therapist face.”  Theo cracks a grin, huffing out a relieved laugh, and the suddenly somber atmosphere is broken.  Theo scrubs at her face, trying to wipe away the so-called ‘therapist expression’ and rearrange her features into something more sisterly, less professional.

“Sorry, sorry.  What’s up, Shirl?”  Her sister looks at her for a moment, fond smile playing on her lips, and Theo tries not to bask in it too much.  

“Can you tell me about your... abilities?”  Her gloveless hands feel suddenly bare.  Theo instinctively stiffens, clamming up despite her best efforts to relax, and she can see Shirley cringe slightly.  To her credit, though, she pushes on, trying to explain.

“I tried so hard, for so long, to pretend that we were normal, and—I want to understand you, Theo.”  Theo pauses, processing for such a long moment that Shirley almost dismisses the entire idea.  The movie goes on quietly in the background, providing a muted white noise to their conversation.  

“What do you want to know?”  Her voice is low and quiet, so much softer than the usual commanding tone or calm therapist voice she uses.  Of all her siblings, Shirley was always the most resistant to Theo’s unique abilities.  Theo explained it away as disbelief, or maybe even a fear of having her innermost thoughts broadcast over the surface of Theo’s skin.  To have her openly talk about it means more to Theo than her sister will ever know.  

“What happens when you touch something?”  Alright, so they’re starting from the basics.

“When I touch an object,” Theo begins, twisting her fingers together, “I experience the memories and emotions attached to that object.  The stronger the emotion, the easier it is for me to see the memory.”  Her face darkens as she recalls the couch in that foster family’s basement, the terror and revulsion that overcame her as she stared up at the wooden ceiling.  

“And when you touch another person?”  

“I can feel their emotions, see things about them, things that they might want to keep hidden.  I can tell if they’re lying.”  An image of Luke, his young eyes filled with trust, gazing dejectedly up at her while he described his experience in the basement of Hill House, flashes through her mind.  Nell, and that terrible nothingness that had infected her like a plague.

“So if you touched me right now, you would feel what I’m feeling?”  Theo nods, a slow incline of her chin.  “Do you… want to?” Shirley asks hesitantly.  Theo shrugs.  

“Sometimes,” she responds, deliberately misinterpreting the question.  She sighs when Shirley fixes her with a look, one that lets her know her older sister sees right through her.

“Why?” Theo asks, years of secrecy making her blunt.  Now it’s Shirley’s turn to shrug, albeit more cautiously than her sister had.  

“I don’t know, you just talk about it like you only ever feel bad things.  Don’t you want to feel good things sometimes?”  

“Of course I do, I just—I never know what I’m going to feel until I’m touching someone, and then it’s too late.”  Shirley flicks her eyes away, her equivalent of biting her lip nervously, then offers, 

“I’m feeling good things right now.”  Theo looks down at her recently ungloved hands, considering.  It’s not just an offering for Theo’s sake, but a genuine ceding of ground on Shirley’s part as well.  There’s a quote Theo has read in an article somewhere; “If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”  In Theo’s case, her knowledge of whoever she touches is total, and she understands how terrifying that notion can be.  For her sister to offer this is a huge show of trust.  Shirley still isn’t looking at her, but she brings her head up sharply when she feels Theo hesitantly brush fingertips over her palm.  Theo gasps at the sudden bursts of love, of pride, of joy that wash over her, filling up her chest with a welling sort of light and tingling down the backs of her forearms.  Their gazes were locked, but Theo can’t experience her sister’s overwhelming love for her while looking into her eyes, so she drops her vision to their touching hands.  They’re side-by-side on the couch, facing each other, and Shirley’s gaze is still locked on her face, studying her expressions.

“You feel happiness in your arms,” Theo murmurs, and Shirley’s face lights up with delight even as her cheeks tinge pink from the observation.  

“You feel the way I experience emotions?”  Theo grins at the revelation that’s just dawning on Shirley, and because she can’t contain two people’s happiness coursing through her behind a stony expression any longer.  Her knuckles are resting in Shirley’s palm now, and she slowly lifts her hand to let the contact fall away.  

“Mom said I was sensitive,” she offers as a response.  There’s a moment where Theo’s afraid she might have ruined the moment by bringing up their mother, but then Shirley grins a little mischievously.

“Well I know you’re sensitive, Theo,” she teases, elbowing her gently.  Theo relaxes into her role as a sibling, rolling her eyes and shoving Shirley in retaliation.

“Shut up, Shirl.”  But the amused look hasn’t left Shirley’s eyes, and Theo recoils slightly at a nudge to her side.

“You know, you really should be nicer to your older sister, Theo.”  Theo squirms at the continued jostling, trying to ignore the fingers that have drifted sneakily over to her sides and are prodding at the flesh there.  

“Shirley,” she whines, hoping that it will be enough to deter her sister.  Shirley grins wider, poking in between her ribs in places she knows Theo can’t stand.  Theo’s been making a valiant effort of staring at the ceiling with her lips tightly sealed, hoping that her sister will get bored and abandon the game before it’s begun, but at this new attack she’s unable to remain still, and her hands shoot up to catch Shirley’s wrists just as the first burst of true laughter escapes her.  

“Don’t,” she pleads, but it’s more breathless and giggly than serious, and they both know that if she really meant it Theo would be halfway across the room by now.  Shirley takes this as an invitation, and when her grip shifts and skin brushes skin, Theo gets the barest glimpse of her plans just before she’s bowled over by one Shirley Crain-Harris.  Quick fingers bypass her makeshift defenses like she’d never thrown up her arms at all, gently pinching at sides and ribs in a way that Shirley knows drives Theo crazy.  

It’s been decades since Shirley has done this, but she still remembers all her sister’s ticklish spots from when they used to play together.  The spots on her sides that make her bubbly laughter morph into more of a cackle, the way she squirms harder when Shirley pinches at her hipbones, the redness in her cheeks and the push of her heels into the couch when fingers manage to sneak under her arms; they’re still familiar reactions, but Shirley confirms each one with a widening smirk, reveling in her rediscovered power.  

Theo, for her part, is in hysterics, bubbly giggles jumping or turning into squeaks when Shirley switches spots.  

“Shirl!” she gasps between bouts of laughter, not ready to beg her to stop but unwilling to just lay there and take it.  It’s been ages since she’s been tickled, especially by her sister, and she’s almost forgotten how simultaneously fun and maddening it can be.  It makes her want to jump out of her skin in the best way possible.  

“What is it, Theo?” Shirley asks, as though they’re having a normal conversation and she isn’t tickling her sister half to death.  Whatever response Theo was formulating is cut off by her squeal when Shirley unexpectedly finds a weak spot at the base of her ribs.  Shirley laughs at the reaction, squeezing sporadically and milking the spot for all it’s worth.  

“Well, that’s new,” she teases, lobster-clawing her way up Theo’s ribs before sneaking back down to attack the recently discovered tickle spot.  Theo squeals again, throwing her head back and squeezing her eyes shut at the sensation.  She didn’t even know she was that ticklish before now, and the feeling is quickly becoming too much for her to handle.  

“Shit, Shihihihirl!” she half-shrieks, thrashing.  She’s lost all hope of dignity, and can now only hope that her sister will have mercy.  Fortunately for her, Shirley seems to understand that she’s just about reached her limit, and retreats to the other end of the couch, bearing a sly grin that only a sound victory can bring.  Shirley leans back against the arm of the couch, stretching her legs across the piece of furniture towards her sister and listening as Theo gasps for breath and tries to pull herself together.  

“Been a while since we’ve done that, huh?” Shirley murmurs, smile still tugging at her lips.  Theo sits up slowly, pink-faced and giggling while she recovers from the playful torment.  

“Yeah,” she agrees, a certain lightness in her tone that Shirley hasn’t heard since their childhood.  “You know what we haven’t done in even longer?”  She’s crawling up the couch menacingly now, biting her lip to contain the brilliant smile threatening to break through.  Shirley has a feeling she knows exactly where this is going, but she allows herself to sink further into the cushions, tamping down on a grin of her own.

“What’s that?”  Theo is looming over her, fingers poised to strike, and Shirley shrinks back but doesn’t move to stop her.  If she plays it cool, doesn’t provoke her sister by trying to run away or fend her off (turning it into a competition will only make it worse for Shirley when Theo finally manages to pin her down) then maybe she’ll go easy on her.  Her ploy fails, however, when Theo raises an eyebrow at her, tells her she knows exactly what Shirley’s trying to do, and pounces.  

“No!” Shirley squeals when Theo goes straight for some of her worst spots, spidering quick fingers across her stomach and fluttering gently around her neck.  She scrunches up as best she can, writhing between her sister and the back of the couch.  Unlike Theo, Shirley’s squirming is actually productive, and she actively tries to escape, so Theo has a much harder time getting her to keep still long enough to tickle with any intensity.  Even without much tickling, though, Shirley’s a mess—arching her back and squealing whenever the lightest touches connect with her skin, even through her clothes.  Theo might not fight back, but Shirley is way more ticklish than she ever was.  

She looks up to find Theo grinning at her, and though she can’t feel emotions like Theo can, the love shining through her sister’s eyes and through her smile is clear.  She reaches out, crippled by the fits of uncontrollable giggles Theo’s fingers are causing, to launch a counterattack, searching out Theo’s sides and digging in until the other woman backs off, unable to concentrate enough to continue her assault.  Before Shirley can get herself together, though, she feels an elbow lock around her ankles, and then nails are scraping their way up her bare feet.  She shrieks, arching her back and kicking her legs in Theo’s grasp.  Theo tightens her hold in response, grin so wide her cheeks ache, and scribbles fingers all over her soles.  Shirley loses it, dissolving into hearty, unrestrained laughter punctuated with little squeals when fingers dip dangerously close to the inside of her arches or underneath her toes.  

“Theo!  Theohoho—nohohohoho!”  The pleas are barely intelligible through her laughter, but the torment ends quickly when Theo’s fingers start touching the skin of her feet and suddenly Theo is kicking out at nothing, overcome with the same breathless laughter pinning Shirley to the couch.  Theo lets go of her ankles in an effort to escape the contact at the same time Shirley realises what’s happened.  Shirley’s hoarse laughter turns genuine at Theo’s predicament, while Theo retires to her end of the couch to mock-sulk.  

“That’s so unfair,” she grumbles, expression forming the beginnings of a pout.  Shirley offers her a self-satisfied smile, stretching her back against the arm of the couch.

“For you, maybe.”  Theo’s displeased expression only deepens.  She leans forward, and for a moment Shirley thinks she’s going to try for a rematch and tenses up, but Theo just drapes herself across Shirley’s thighs, head resting on her stomach.  One of Shirley’s hands goes automatically to the top of her sister’s head, beginning to smooth out the ruffled curls with slow, soothing strokes.  Theo hasn’t been so tactile with her in decades, and she’s loathe to overstep… but her hair is still just as soft as when they were kids cuddled up in bed together, and maybe Shirley has missed this more than she realised.  Theo squirms a bit, getting more comfortable, and mumbles something that Shirley doesn’t quite catch over the credits music of the romcom they were watching.  She hums questioningly to get Theo to repeat herself.

“Love you,” Theo says, half asleep at the feeling of her sister petting her hair.  Shirley smiles down at her, a tear deep inside her heart mending at the words.

“Love you too, Theo.  Completely.”

[ayellowcurtain]

SKAM NL S3 EP1 - Lucas Van Der Heijden

-

Lucas loves to party. It gets his mind off of his shitty life. Now it’s even easier, he’s living with Jayden and Ralph, the party animals.

He was trying to be better, to get out of a situation that was clearly not healthy with his mom. Lucas doesn’t care about his dad anymore, he didn’t have the right to leave like he did so fuck him.

“Here…” Kes gives him the joint back and he takes a long hit, letting it fill his lungs slowly, laughing when he sees Kes just staring at him, raising his eyebrows. “We’re sharing, you know…” He says and Jayden gets the joint of his fingers, smoking too.

“What? I can only smoke for half a second?” Kes nods his head, pinching his cheek.

“Yes, you’re too young and too skinny to smoke this much.” Lucas rolls his eyes, turning to look at the city while the other two continue to smoke. They have an amazing view from here. He can see all the lights still on, inside some apartments across the street you can see another party happening, but you can’t hear anything apart from muffled loud music coming from inside their own apartment. It feels like the city is sleeping at ease. Lucas wishes he could be at ease like that too.

“Shit…” Jayden is pulling him by his jacket to turn to them again, shoving his bag of weed inside one of Lucas’ pockets. “The cops are downstairs.” He taps the pocket and opens the door for them to get inside again.

“Wha-Why the fuck I’m the one that’s keeping it?” He opens his arms and follows the other two inside. The bag is not too big, you can’t see it, hiding inside his pocket, but he doesn’t want to get caught by the fucking police.

“Your baby face will help you, they won’t look for it in you.” Lucas looks at his best friend, waiting for any help, but Kes just shrugs and taps his shoulder, walking past the drunk dancing people, into the kitchen, just waiting for the police to ring their bell.

If it was up to him, they would have gone somewhere else, maybe Kes’ place. He kissed someone earlier, but he couldn’t care less about the girl, he did it because his friends were nagging him about it. Lucas is not even sure about her name anymore. He can see her staring at him while dancing with her friends, but he just ignores it, trying to act cool while he’s waiting for the cops to come and end the party and hopefully not inspect the left pocket of his jacket.

-

This room is way too fucking hot.

Lucas moves his legs until they managed to push the sheets away from his body, just keeping his feet underneath it. He blinks a few times, the sun is burning his improvised bed. It’s his luck that the only place they could fit a mattress in Jayden’s room was where the sun shines bright all day long. Most of the time is good, he likes the feeling of warmth, but today is just not the day.

Jayden forgot to close the curtains again and it’s too hot. He moves to his side, Jayden’s bed is empty, Lucas can’t remember what happened, but apparently Jayden didn’t sleep here today. He’ll have a taste of what’s privacy again. He looks at the door to check again: it’s closed, so he can close his eyes, trying to think of something...interesting while slowly pushing his hand down his body, pulling his briefs away from his skin.

“Good morning!” Lucas pulls his sheets back up to his shoulders while Ralph bursts into his bedroom, pushing Jayden in front of him. Jayden lies down on his bed and fully covers himself and Ralph comes to Lucas’ bed, looking at his phone, putting his head on Lucas’ chest, still looking at his phone.

“Ralph...knock on the fucking door, fuck!” He complains, suddenly feeling tired again, trying to move away from Ralph.

“Sorry, baby. But Liv is here! Say hi!” Lucas pulls his sheets to be fully covered as well, closing his eyes.

“Hi, Liv!” Jayden says in unison with him from under their respective sheets. The sun is not bothering him anymore, Ralph is, but the warmth starts relaxing him into his sleep again, Ralph and Liv are just background noise now, even the weight of Ralph’s head against his chest is soothing.

-

“Man, I knew I shouldn’t have left it with him, Kes!” Jayden is still whining and the day has barely even started.

“What the fuck are you talking about? It was your idea!” Kes laughs, shaking his head and he’s right. Lucas definitely didn’t ask to be the one to hide the weed. It’s not his fault that he lost it at some point when the police came in. If Jayden was so worried he should have kept it close to him.

“That costs money, bro!” Kes rolls his eyes, looking at Lucas, silently saying don’t worry. And he’s not really worried. He can’t remember half of what happened that night, he doesn’t even know how he got to his bed and how he slept only wearing his briefs. Ralph said he helped Lucas get to bed and Lucas took his own clothes off.

He has nothing to say so his eyes just wander around his surroundings. Deep down, Lucas is so sick of this. The same people every day, the same subjects, the same problems. Lucas has a heart and feelings and of course he loves his friends, it’s just that-

Finally, a new face. A good looking face.

Again, his friends are just background noise as his entire brain seem to focus on one person.

It’s hard to miss him, really. With a purple windbreaker with a neon-yellow line crossing his chest. His skin looks like honey when the sun hits at just the right angle. His hair is very short and bleached, apparently his mouth is constantly pouting just a little with soft, thick lips. He’s far away, but Lucas can tell he has piercing bright brown eyes that are staring back at Lucas now. Fuck.

“I’m still hungover and you’re talking about another party.” Kes’ voice slowly starts to come in the foreground just in time as Engel stops right in front of their table, blocking the way to the new guy.

“Hi!” She says happily and Lucas can’t relate to that mood this early in the morning.

-

Lucas shouldn’t be able to remember the guy’s features so perfectly. And he shouldn’t still be thinking about him either. Maybe he’s just a pretty face. Or maybe he just has style and long legs that go on for days. He’s probably just another guy that’s full of himself.

He’s interrupted again by Esra coming inside his bedroom without knocking on the door first. She comes with a soft smile that seems to be her thing, and sits on his bed, looking at him.

“I’ve got your weed.”

Maybe he’s in trouble. She’s always in a good mood and she’s the nicest person he’s ever met, but maybe he doesn’t know her that well. They don’t really talk.

“Ok…” With that smile on her face, he can’t read what she’s expecting him to do or say, so he waits.

“You want it?” She raises her thick eyebrows and her tone is still chill and soft. Lucas really looks at her and sits on his bed. Esra is holding something but he can’t see, she has one hand on top of the other.

“You’re going to give it to me without a lecture of why weed is bad for you?” It’s a push-and-pull kind of conversation that’s unexpected. She was the last person he could think that would have his weed. And if she did had it, he would never imagine her being so calm about it.

She finally moves just enough to turn her hand and offer him the little plastic bag filled with weed. Maybe he’s missing something here, but he slowly reaches and she lets him grab the bag.

“Thank you...?” Esra happily nods her head and like a ballerina with soft and perfect movements, she gets up, but she’s still looking at him.

“From now on, please clean your room, it stinks.” He’s still confused, but he nods his head. She’s not wrong and she just spared him of a lecture and having to deal with Jayden’s complaints, he can try to clean his part of the room.

-

This is the best part of summer. Having parties every day, you can even choose which one you wanna go because there are plenty of options. Still, Kes choose the worst one for them to go. Engel’s party are so fucking boring! It’s always just them and the girls. Everyone else doesn’t care enough about her to spend their Friday nights at her party. Kes and Isa keep stealing glances and Lucas can’t deal with that drama anymore. So the best thing he can do is get drunk.

“Does anyone want anything?” He taps on the table to get their attention. Kes just shakes his head, too busy looking at Isa to properly answer and Jayden just looks at him and shows his empty bottle. Two beers then.

The fridge is old, it doesn’t hold the temperature too well. As soon as he grabs the bottles inside, he knows they’re not cold enough. Lucas opens both at the edge of the counter and takes a big sip, not wanting to wait for the beer to get even warmer.

Looking from afar it’s even worse. The small apartment feels big. Jayden and Kes outside on the balcony and the girls sitting on the couch, watching Ralph and Esra trying to sing and dance to the music they choose in the karaoke. Jayden turns his body and puts his head inside the living room.

“Is anyone else coming?” Janna looks down and quietly looks at Engel and shrugs. Nobody is coming. Jayden seems to get that too, grabbing his phone again, probably looking for other parties to go to.

Lucas takes a deep breath, ready to go back to the sad party when someone opens the door, blocking the kitchen’s entry. The guy from the other day. He looks behind the door, straight into Lucas’ eyes.

“Sorry. Hi.” He can’t think of what to say, the guy just talked to him. He has a deep and calming voice that matches perfectly with his looks. And he’s just as tall and Lucas imagined.

The new guy finally closes the door behind him, still looking at Lucas while he does so and then he goes to say hi to the others. Lucas is still in shook and the others are singing too loud so he can’t hear when the guy introduces himself to the girls and then goes to shake Kes and Jayden’s hands.

There’s no way he can just go back to talk to his friends now. He is there, smiling and talking to Kes, of all people. Lucas leaves one of the bottles on the counter and quietly goes out of the apartment, closing the door behind him.

Janna’s building is a small one so he takes the stairs instead of the old elevator. The more time he has alone, the better. When he finally gets to the ground floor, his beer is also done and he leaves the empty bottle on the floor, walking out of the building. The streets are empty and Lucas has some time to himself.

He looks for his phone, but it’s not in his pockets, he forgot at Janna’s place. So he has nothing to distract himself from his feelings and his thoughts. Whoever he is, his name and where he comes from, he’s Lucas type. If Lucas could ever create someone made for him, that guy would be it.

The quiet night is interrupted by an old door opening and closing. Lucas looks inside the building just to see him again, the elevator door closing behind him, he’s looking around, stopping when he finds Lucas outside. He smiles and comes out too. Why does he smile so much?

“Hi.” He stops by Lucas’ side, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it in between his perfect pouty lips. He’s looking at Lucas, probably waiting for a response this time.  

“Hey…” Lucas manages to say, looking around to see if someone is seeing this.

“What’s your name?” He turns his body a little so he’s actually looking at Lucas, he is being very obvious that he wants to continue the conversation, not just be polite to a stranger.

“Hm, Lucas. And yours?” Lucas puts his hands deep inside his pockets, pushing his thumbs against his palms, trying to ground himself. He takes one step back so he can see the guy without having to turn his body.

“Milan.” He offers his hand and they shake hands a second later. His hand is big and mostly soft, just not so soft where his fingers start. They definitely shake hands for too long. Lucas is the one to pull his hand away, shoving it inside his pocket again, trying to engrave in his memory how Milan’s touch feels.

The awkward silence turns even worse after the weird handshake. It’s heavy and filled with unknown feelings. And he can feel that Milan is still looking at him and smiling. Lucas bites the inside of his cheek, looking everywhere else but in Milan’s direction.

He hears some voices in the distance and it gets closer and closer. Lucas looks up to see a group of girls. He sort of recognizes some of them, but he can’t remember from where.

“Lucas!” One of them says way too loud and happily and he’s sure he should know her name, but he doesn’t.

Emma? Eva?

Whoever she is, she comes close enough and hugs him tightly. All he can think about is Milan’s eyes that are still on him and on the girl as well.

“Engel invited me and I thought you would be here so...I came! And brought some friends, hope it’s ok…” He didn’t ask, but she keeps talking like he did. Lucas is trying to think on what to say, maybe lie and say that he’s leaving, but then Milan would be left behind too. He opens and closes his mouth and the girl already moved on, saying hi to Milan too.

“I don’t think we’ve met...I’m Emma.” She shakes his hand and he fake smiles to her, shaking her hand too.

“Milan.”

[moonswithorwithoutstars]

Baby gay’s prince

Lucas’pov:

Ralph was really down this time. It wasn’t just some hot boy that let him down after a good fuck, this time it wasn’t even the old story of falling in love (understand meet him 2 hours before and stalk him non – stop since that) with a straight dude that he just couldn’t make gay. No, this was Elijah. The cute, dorky, peaceful boy who had matching onesies with Ralph and was considered a part of the family by everyone in the flat, even by Liv and Noah who recognized themselves as the mum and dad now, because apparently that was also a stage in relationship, right between running after one another while wearing wedding dress and adopting 25 dogs.

Little did we all know what a sly bitch Elijah was. Or not really, we actually don’t know what happened which makes it even more obvious that Ralph was in pain, because normally, this time after breakup, he would be already browsing grindr and shading the ex-boy with Liv. This time was different. Surely, the grindr phase came but only 3 weeks after and Ralph was going through it alone. Not only that but he was also going through it without any sign of stopping – he went out, got drunk, fucked someone, that someone called one of us to come pick him up and then he broke down on the way home. He slept until lunch hours and started getting ready for going out again. For now we just did what we could, we made him coffee and I was saved as his emergency contact because Jayden said that gays should hold together the strongest, obviously believing that his formidable sense of humour would just make situation easier.

3rd person pov:

That’s why the closeted baby gay was taking metro to some dude’s house where Ralph crashed tonight. This concrete guy sounded rather worried about Ralph’s well-being which made Lucas breathe out with ease until he heard some crying in the background. The caller’s only reaction was telling him to hurry and hunging up.

Lucas was out of the apartment in the instant because as he rediscovered tonight, fear is the best motor. And as he was ringing the bell to what seemed as another shared apartment or dormitory possibly, he was already contemplating all the scenarios of what could have happened to Ralph, and the fact that whoever called him took his time opening the door made him even more worried. The door finally revealed a boy with dark hair who wasn’t covered in blood, didn’t look violently and wasn’t holding a knife, that didn’t mean that Lucas trusted him.

“Hey, you the emergency contact?” Dark boy asked with Belgian accent and a bit of discomfort in his voice.

“What? Yeah, yeah, is Ralph okay? I heard him crying, I thought that you were someone violent. Where is he? Did he hurt himself or broke something?” other boy half confirmed and half investigated the Belgian.

“No, well not really, I mean he didn’t seem physically hurt. I put them to sleep kinda?” Lucas let out the breath he was holding, relaxed a bit only until realization hit him hard. Did he really said them? Who did he put to sleep with Ralph? Was it possibly Elijah? Was he someone who put drugs into other people’s drinks and then put them to sleep?

Dark, tall and mysterious must have noticed this because he made a quick work of getting Luc relaxed again. “Hey don’t worry. You better see it yourself but well your drunk broken hearted friend met mine best friend who was in the very same condition, they cried together, showed each other photos of their love interests and then fell asleep hugging each other.” Small chuckle escaped his lips as he was elaborating this heart-warming story and Lucas couldn’t help but smile a little as well, maybe this is what Ralph needed after all. Besides this, Begium here had cute little smile.

The fact that he needed those dumb nicknames reminded him that he still needed to know this guy’s name. Without much thought, probably because he was really tired after all the stuff with Ralph, Luc bluntly asked: “So, guy who put up random boys, could you put one more, at least until Ralph gets up and needs familiar shoulder to cry on?”

Said guy emitted that sweet chuckle again. “It’s Jens and I’m not technically putting them up since it’s not my flat. More suitable title is babysitting. Hopefully those two will remember each other, because I ship that bromance.”

Luc just smiled and nodded his head. “I’m Lucas and I personally believe that a gay man that Ralph wouldn’t fuck but only be friend with wouldn’t be nothing else than healthy.”

This made Jens do a face as if calculating which quickly turned into a smirk. “Is it so? I believe that you’re also a gay boy he knows, at least according to your contact name Mr. Baby Gay. Yet I believe that ex-lover wouldn’t show up at weird night hours in strange places just to make sure that the other one is alive.”

Suddenly Lucas felt rather vulnerable. He was in a house he has never been before and a person he never met before read and knew him better than most of his friends these months. The fact that it wasn’t meant as an insult or an act of mockery going completely unnoticed, as the same probably unreasonable fear occurred again. The other one couldn’t be homophobe could he? He said that he had a gay friend, and he saw two guys cuddling. Luc somehow lost the track of his thoughts and was only put back into reality when Jens softly spoke: “Hey, I don’t know shit. It might be only an inside joke between the two of you, you might not be gay. Even if you were I wouldn’t care, do you think I would? I’ve got gay friends, I was nice to your friend and I’m bisexual myself so chill.”

Luc sighed with relief and gratitude: “I didn’t mean to be judgmental, I just dunno, I’m not chill with the whole me being the baby gay,” he made a sign with his fingers and rolled his eyes slightly amused, “yet. And not many people, well no one aside from Ralph and now you really knows.”

He was met only with a nod as if sign of understanding and cheeky: “S okay, your secret is safe with me. Wanna come in now, or should I prove that I’m trustworthy any other way?”

“No, no! Well yes I’d like to come in, if that’s okay with you again, but you’re trustworthy enough”

“Let me lead the way then. Kitchen it is? Do you want any beer or soda or ehh practically I can can’t offer you anything else because there’s actually nothing else in this flat.”

Lucas slightly at loss of words as every time he entered a building he has never been before needed some time to become eloquent. His eyes lingered on all the spots in the messy functional kitchen until he spotted his companion.

“Oh, I’d fancy a beer if it doesn’t cause you any trouble. I wouldn’t want to be charged for steeling beer cans from random flats, regarding you mentioning that this was not where you lived.” The statement was only meant as a joke but the tone seemed to change it into yet another accusation.

“Come on, you’ve never stolen beers? What a loser.”

“M not a loser, I just happen to always have people to do the dirty work for me.” Lucas snarky commented and performed a grimace, someone like a mafia boss would use in his opinion.

“Whatever you say boss.” Jens responded with a small bow added. He picked up two cans of beer and set them on the table while simultaneously inviting Lucas to sit down. The chairs in in the kitchen were mismatched, just underlining the overall messy look it was serving. Luc would bet anything that two or more boys shared this condo as a cheap alternative for living. Jens wasn’t one of them so probably the only guy he hasn’t met was the owner? Did he live here with his boyfriend before something similar to Ralph’s story happened to him? Maybe he lives here alone and just likes to be messy and has no problem letting whoever spend the night here. While examining the dark room, his eyes wondered to other parts of the flat as well. He could see armchair or a small sofa possibly in the room without door, on the other side, next to the kitchen, there was another room illuminated by soft light of a bedside lamp. That was probably bedroom which meant that Ralph was located there, sleeping peacefully. As he started returning his attention to the bear in front of him, Belgian guy caught his eyes and smilingly stated; “They’re in there. They were just like little kids, like my little brother I swear. They needed something to hug and wouldn’t let me turn off the lights because of monsters under the bed or something. I’m surprised they didn’t make me read a bedtime story to them. Especially Robbe, he always tends to do that. He can be really persuasive too. He chooses the most sappy tales and makes me change it so that the beautiful princess is actually another prince, they of course must live happily ever after.” There was a quick pause where Jens just stared lovingly somewhere ahead of him, remembering all the little memories of drunk Robbe that made his heart warm. Lucas knew this small gestures very well on his own. The longing in Jens’ gaze was probably more evident than the one in his eyes. Jens had one big advance however, his best friend was at least oriented the right way. Not exactly the right way, there’s no right or wrong way but for this situation, Robbe was definitely oriented the more suitable way. He wished him luck, he really did. Something about Jayden’s words must have been true right? The gay guys had to stick together, more so the gay guys with an overwhelming crush on their best friend. It was only fair to offer Jens at least a sympathetic smile and a squeeze on the shoulder. Upon that skin contact, Jens snapped back and continue as if there was no interruption at all, “Do you maybe want to check them yourself? Just so that you’ll feel more at ease.” He asked Luc, already standing as if he knew the answer far before he even asked. Luc followed him to the alighted room and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. There he was really – Ralph in all his bleached beauty hugging small brown haired boy as if he was a plush toy. A radiating smile creeped his way on Luc’s face and as he turned to watch Jens’ reaction for a bit, he saw the very same expression. He quickly caught a bit of jealousy trying to find her way. If his Kes would prioritize some random dude over Luc in cuddling, he’d be bitter at least for a day or so, Jens didn’t act that way at all. It’s probably because Luc has been going through this for a long time, through this roller coaster or whatever. He didn’t know what he felt anymore and the smallest turbulences caused him to burst. He didn’t want to think of Kes for tonight tho. He saw that the dark boy had new girl with him today in the skatepark, he even introduced the two of them and Luc was still a bit pissed because of that, more than a bit probably. He had to concentrate on the good things, the small battles won were all that mattered right now. He turned to head back to the kitchen, Jens following him shortly.

There’s been an intimidating silence ever since they visited the bedroom. Luc was never one to evaluate situation correctly so after he felt awkward for long enough, and beer in his can had gone, he asked out of the blue: “Will you try to woo him? Not tomorrow I mean, but he’s gay and he’s also single right now and you’re the person he probably trust the most. I ship this bromance with slipping b.”

Jens just looked at him with an expressionless face. Then there were too many expressions at once but still no words and then, finally Jens started to talk. He told him everything: Told him about Britt, which she thought he loved but didn’t even know what love felt like at that time. Told him about the brown haired angel as he called Robbe. About his ex boy Snader who made him come out and sprayed a portrait of his face, but also the same boy that was playing with Robbe’s and Britt’s heart at the same time. He described how he found Robbe on the rail of a bridge, ready to end it all. He described how his heart hurt at the memory, how he’s been more broken by this than ever before. He then continued, less passionately and not with the same spark. He spoke about Jana, the other person he loved. He spoke about how he could never love Robbe the way he loved Jana and the other way around. He spoke of his fear of being someone like Sander, selfish enough to try and keep the both, only ending up hurting those precious creatures. Luc wasn’t sure if it was his place to give advices, no even if it was appropriate, nevertheless he murmured: “You have to wait, give yourself time and be able to love only one but with your whole heart.”

After that Jens cried a little and then he was mad at himself. He listed all the ways those two were perfect and Luc couldn’t help but add his little own list he made for Kes to this night of sorrows. That’s how Luc started to speak as well. He talked about how he destroyed Kes and Isa, how he despised her but she was kind enough to forgive him, how Kes was oblivious enough not to notice, how Jayden was homophobic enough to make coming out for Lucas a rather painful possibility. There wasn’t much he could tell but Jens seemed to understand, not only that but this time, it was the dark boy that squeezed Lucas shoulder, as if expressing unity. The morningish the hour was, the less they spoke and the more they cried in a hug very similar to that one of Ralph and Robbe. Then they probably fell asleep.

For the first time in weeks, Luc woke up to Ralph’s smiling face. He got up from the floor where he had apparently spent the night and hug the fuck out of his best friend in a way. He could see that something very similar yet s different was happening on the other side of the room, between two Belgian boys and he smiled softly. There was something like a deep bond between him and Jens, sure they were not the same and Luc prouded himself in not believing in any bonds, astrology, zodiacs and shit, there must have been something. He’ll probably never meet those two again, but he’ll remember them clearly, and how their own story might have helped his. After this affectionate morning, they said theirs goodbyes. Ralph insisted on staying in contact with Robbe so they could brag about boys every now and then, but that was it. They left, with so much less emotional baggage than they brought and with a good feeling. Sometimes alcohol can solve problems after all, Luc thought.

Epilogue:

It was something about half a year after the whole Ralph crash. Things were pretty easy again. Ralph didn’t find another Elijah but keep telling all the people that for the sex function of boyfriend, he has girndr and for the romantic function, he has Luc. Luc didn’t mind this much, he came into a peace with himself, or so he thought. He still hadn’t tell anyone but he made a huge progress. He even went out with a few guys and overally he was just fine. Occasional pangs of jealousy would form in his heart, wherever he saw Kes’ new discovery in the form of girlfriend, but thanks to Kes’ somehow reasonable taste in woman, he always found himself glad,that Kes was with someone like that in the end of the day. He was currently seated in a skatepark, side by side with Kes, waiting for that dickhead- and their hamburgers. Kes was in the middle of explaining something about the new trick he learned and Luc was in the middle of ignoring the matter of conversation and tapping his foot impatiently because he was hungry when his phone rang. He was 99,2% sure that it was just Ralph who forgot her keys, but the caller ID proved him wrong. It was a number he has probably never seen before, most likely some phone survey or something but he was polite enough to at least pick it up.

Immediately the other side spoke in a Belgian accent: “Hey, is this Luc, the baby gay?”small chuckle could be heard and Luc couldn’t helped but to glance towards Kes because he remembered that night just clearly. Then he amusedly responded: “Yeah, and you’re the guy that reads bedtime stories to his 17 years old best mate.”

Something like a short laugh echoed through the device but then stopped as a warm voice announced: “Yeah, about that, not anymore, and I don’t go back and forth with Jana anymore as well.”

“Well, that’s just marvellous,” Lucas breathed out, “I made some progress myself.”

“Yeah,” Jens paused. “I think I’m ready to love only one but with my whole heart,” he admitted softly.

“And which one of them is the lucky one may I ask?”

“I believe it might be you baby gay.”

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Title: Love Me Still

Square Filled: Fear

Ship: Lucas x Jens

Trigger Warnings (if applicable): None 

Created for @skamevents

This is just a really short thing inspired by an ask I got which I tried to meld to this prompt.

~^~

Jens is a little confused—and a tiny bit scared—when he gets a text from Kes. It isn’t entirely unusual for them to talk, he supposes, but it’s slightly unusual. He thinks it’s worse because he’s already a little bit on edge. Because he hasn’t heard much from Lucas today. 

kes_senova hey, are you busy? like, not just right now, but this weekend? 

jensrolt no? why?

kes_senova Luc’s mom isn’t doing well

jensrolt is typing…

kes_senova he’s okay  but he doesn’t let me help him when it’s like this  I’m worried about him dealing with it on his own he spirals. worries himself too much I hate having to ask you but...could you come down?

jensrolt yeah, of course  you think it’s that bad? I haven’t heard much from him today

kes_senova I’m guessing it’s bad, then

Kes doesn’t have to say anymore. Jens is already getting ready to go. 

~^~

It takes him no time to pack up, and his parents don’t put up any protest about him suddenly going for the weekend. He only has to say ‘Lucas isn’t doing great’, and they let him go. 

The train ride seems to last forever, but he’s soon at Lucas’s door. He hasn’t bothered texting him; he knew Lucas would only tell him not to come. That he’s fine, there’s no need, he doesn’t need Jens. Lucas will probably be even more mad at him, for showing up without warning, but it’s worth it. It won’t take him long to give in. 

It takes him ringing the bell twice, though, before he comes to the door. It swings open to reveal Lucas in a red hoodie and sweats, looking tense and exhausted. His expression is frustrated, pissed off even, before his eyes land on Jens. Then his shoulders drop instantly and his face slackens in surprise. He looks small, and young, and fragile. Jens’s heart throbs. 

Lucas asks, “What are you doing here?”

Instead of answering, Jens steps forward and wraps him up in a hug. Lucas is still for a few seconds, then he sags against him, arms winding around his waist. Jens walks them further inside and shuts the door, sliding his bag off his shoulder before tucking Lucas’s head into the vacated space. Lucas clutches at the back of his coat and lets out a shaky breath. 

“Why didn’t you talk to me?” Jens asks, soft but reprimanding. 

Lucas sniffs. “I didn’t think there was anything you could do. I didn’t think it would make any difference. You’d just be worried then too, and I didn’t want that.”

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” Jens pulls away and cradles his face in his hands, thumbs stroking over his cheekbones as he presses a kiss to his forehead. Lucas’s lips tilt up in a smile. This close Jens can see how tired he really is, the dimness of his usually bright eyes, the dark circles around them. His lips are dry, his shoulders hunched up around his neck. His hoodie—Jens’s hoodie—swallows him. 

“How’d you know to come?” Lucas asks, quiet. Embarrassed. 

“Kes texted me,” Jens admits. Lucas sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “And I’m glad, because you being the tiniest bit silent worries me. You’re always double texting.”

“Ha ha,” Lucas says dryly. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been…”

“Having a bit of a breakdown?”

“Busy,” Lucas corrects. 

Jens kisses his cheek. “How is she?”

Lucas shrugs, blowing out a breath. “I don’t know. She hasn’t come out of her room much today. I’ve been trying to get her to eat, and I tried to tidy up a little bit, but I have this assignment due for Monday that I haven’t even started and I’m so tired—“ 

He draws in a sharp breath, cutting himself off, and Jens pulls him back into his arms, holding him close to his chest. He rubs a hand over his back and waits until his breaths are calm again. “Okay. How about this. I make you a coffee and you try to get a start on that assignment. While you’re doing that, I’ll clean up a bit. Then we can make dinner and check in on your mom, and then I’m taking you to bed early and making sure you sleep. Okay?”

Lucas smiles against his collarbone and then kisses it, nodding. “Okay.” He kisses his way up Jens’s neck to his ear, down his jaw, just butterfly presses of his lips. Then he gives him a soft smile. “I don’t deserve you.”

“No,” Jens agrees. “Better.” Instead of arguing, Lucas just shakes his head, leaning up for a kiss. Jens meets him halfway, lips finding each other and melding together easily, familiar. Jens indulges him, lets him melt into the kiss and deepen it until most of the tension seeps out of him. Then he takes him gently by the shoulders and pushes him back an inch, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Okay, distraction comes after your work. Go. I’ll take care of stuff out here. Okay?”

Lucas closes his eyes, laying his head on Jens’s shoulder. Jens wraps him up and gives him another squeeze and he says, “Okay.”

He sneaks one more kiss before disappearing to his room, taking Jens’s duffel with him. Jens sighs and hangs up his coat before heading to the kitchen.

~^~ 

He spends an hour and a half tidying minor things, putting on a load of washing and filling the dishwasher. He doesn’t want to turn on the vacuum and disturb the actual members of the house, so he gives the floors a quick brush and leaves it at that. 

Lucas seems a little less stressed when he emerges from his room. He and Jens make dinner together, and Lucas takes some to his mother, who comes out of her room briefly to say hello to Jens. Jens sits at the table with her, making idle chit chat and teasing Lucas in an attempt to bring a smile to her face. It turns from tired to genuine as she looks at her son while he laughs, and Jens is relieved, his heart warming. 

She doesn’t stay with them long, but she plants a kiss on both their heads before she goes. Soon after, Jens pulls Lucas up and drags him to bed. 

He lies with his back to Jens’s chest, Jens’s hand clasped in his over his heart, but he doesn’t sleep. Jens can feel the knots of tension throughout his body, his fast heartbeat under his hand. His breath hitches every so often, coming out harshly. Jens pulls him tighter against him and kisses the back of his neck. “Luc,” he says, “you can talk to me if you want to.” Lucas takes another shaky breath, turning his face into the pillow. “Lucas.”

After a moment of silence, Lucas turns around in Jens’s hold, lying flat on his back and staring up at the ceiling. Jens leaves him arm across his torso but shifts his head back a bit. “I hate seeing her like this.” Jens nods, rubbing his arm, but Lucas catches his hand and stops the movement. “No, but not the way I should. I mean of course that way too, it kills me to see her upset, but it’s not just that.”

Jens’s brow furrows. “What else?” Lucas closes his eyes. “Luc. It’s not going to go away if you don’t talk about it, and I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Lucas licks his lips, and there’s a tremble in his voice Jens doesn’t quite understand when he says, “It can be genetic.”

Jens considers this. “So...what? You’re afraid you’re gonna...become bipolar? I’m pretty sure it’s not that simple. Wouldn’t you have already, I don’t know, showed symptoms or something?”

Lucas shrugs. “Mom wasn’t diagnosed until she was in her thirties. I know, I know it sounds stupid. It’s just...I see myself in her sometimes. When she’s like this. When she’s not doing well.” His voice drops to a whisper. “And it’s stupid, but it freaks me out. The days I feel like I can’t get out of bed, or I feel like I’m going to snap at the smallest thing, or…” He trails off, shaking his head with a rough swallow. Jens finally realizes what the odd tremble had been, what’s causing Lucas’s hitched breaths and tense shoulders. 

Fear. 

Jens moves his hand up to the side of his face, using the touch to gently turn Lucas towards him, to brush their noses together. “Hey. I have those days, too. That’s normal. And even if it is something...more, there’s no reason we can’t deal with that. The people who love you wouldn’t disappear because of that,” Jens reminds him, knowing this is the root of the problem. “You don’t love your mom any less when she’s like this. You know she’d always be there for you, too. Kes and Jayden would never go anywhere. You have Isa and Liv, and Ralph. And that’s just here. The boys love you, too. Robbe and Sander especially. And you know they wouldn’t even bat an eye.”

Lucas swallows again, but his eyes meet Jens’s. “And you?”

“And you know me. You’re my boyfriend, and I love you. Nothing would ever change that. I get the fear, Luc. I do. But you can’t let it eat away at you. If there’s ever anything, then we’ll deal with it. We’ll manage. No one’s going anywhere. You’re the strongest person I know, and you’d have all the support in the world. It’s okay to be scared. But you don’t have to be,” Jens shrugs. 

Lucas gives a tiny huff, but smiles. “That simple, huh?”

Jens shakes his head, smiling when it just makes their noses rub again. “I know it’s not. But it might be easier, at least, if you talk to me.”

Lucas turns onto his side and rests an arm over Jens’s waist, shifting closer. “Sorry. I don’t know why I didn’t. It just felt dumb.”

“Nothing’s dumb. Not if it’s bothering you. You can always tell me these things. Before you get stressed enough to have eyebags.”

Lucas pinches his side, but he snuggles into Jens’s chest, arms wrapping tightly around his waist. He’s soft and mellow now, a comforting weight, and Jens holds him close and kisses his head. “Thank you,” Lucas mumbles, finally sounding sleepy. “You’re a pretty good boyfriend.”

Jens grins. “I try. Besides, you’re not too bad yourself.”

Lucas hums, and the sound ends on a tiny laugh. It fills the last crevice in Jens’s chest with relief. He thinks of Lucas lying here on his own, spending the night struggling to sleep, the same worries spinning around and around in his head. He makes a mental note to thank Kes, as he places another kiss in Lucas’s hair. He whispers a quiet, “I love you,” as Lucas’s breathing begins to even out. 

“I love you, too,” Lucas murmurs in return, seconds before he falls asleep, unbothered and unafraid. 

[magpiedminx]

From above :    PSA on Britney Spears and the #FreeBritney movement for anyone that needs or wants more information on what is going on with her. It’s a fucking rabbit hole, so buckle up. A little backstory first. Britney was a child star starting at the age of 4 years old on Broadway, and then worked her way to the Mickey Mouse Club, and eventually the solo career we know today. Her career has been on autopilot her entire life. If you look back at her music, she’s been telling everyone for years she’s too controlled and treated as a product if you listen to the lyrics of most of her hits. Examples include: Lucky, Overprotected, My Perogative, Circus, Piece of Me and Gimme More. Her music videos, social media posts, tour props and photoshoots regularly show her in a cage or in chains. If anyone has ever seen videos of her when she was younger, you’d know her REAL singing voice is very similar to Christina Aguilera’s. Her record label didn’t like it, as they were both on the Mickey Mouse Club and about to release their debut albums at the same time. So they had her voice retrained to sing in the baby voice we all know today because they believed it to be more iconic and would create a brand and career for her instead of her real voice. It’s unhealthy, and it’s been destroying her voice over the years, thus why she is known for lip syncing. She wanted to make an acoustic type pop album in 2006 titled Original Doll and reinvent herself using her real voice. The album was shelved and cancelled once her label realized she would be singing in her real voice. She isn’t allowed to sing live because she will either fail terribly, or she’ll have to sing in her deep voice that she isn’t known for. Her entire career she has been treated like a product meant to sell. Now, for the real tea. Everyone remembers the 2007 meltdown. Everyone. Leading up the meltdown Britney was going thru a public divorce, had two children under the age of 2 at the time and was VERY much the focus of the public. We all saw her on every magazine cover. We all also saw the photo of her with one of her kids on her lap while driving. Go on YouTube once and look up ‘Britney Spears paparazzi’. You’ll watch her be chased and followed by hundreds of them, even trying to get into a public restroom to photograph her, videotaping her in tears asking them to leave her alone, and even filming her thru the windows of an ambulance while she was naked being taken away for her final mental health hold. After the public meltdown, shaving her head, locking herself in her home with her children, speaking in a british accent on regular basis, wearing the imfamous pink wig everywhere, and shopping naked, she was hospitalized twice. After the hospitalization, her father petitioned the courts to be a TEMPORARY conservator to her until she was mentally stable and for only one years time. 2 months after her hospitalization she did a guest appearance on How I Met Your Mother. 6 months after her hospitalization, she drops the Womanizer video and starts to promote her new album Circus with its worldwide tour that grossed $131.8 million. If she’s so unwell, why did she start working right away? Her father after one year petitioned the courts for the conservatorship to become permanent due to her ALLEGEDLY having EARLY ONSET DEMENTIA in her TWENTIES. It passed and has been that way ever since. For 12 years to be exact. Now for everyone that doesn’t understand what that means let me break it down for you. Britney Spears is a now 38 year old woman who is not allowed to do the following without her fathers permission or he can legally lock her up in a mental health facility: • drive a car • vote • get married • have children • spend HER OWN MONEY • see how her money is being spent • see her children (she has 30% custody of both of her boys due to her dad assaulting one of her sons) • leave her home • hire her own lawyer • have any control over her career • speak about the conservatorship publicly • do interviews that aren’t scripted and all final cuts are approved by her father as well • use a cell phone without being monitored • use social media unmonitored • contact ANYONE without being monitored or having them extremely vetted. (Iggy Azalea allegedly had her house searched for drugs top to bottom when they collaborated on a song together) • go shopping • go for a walk • get Starbucks A conservatorship is meant for people with mental health issues or decaying health. Most likely grandparents or people with actual dementia etc. They are meant for people who literally cannot take care of themselves. If she is so unwell that she isn’t mentally capable of doing anything for herself, why is she still working? Since the conservatorship began 12 years ago she has: • released 4 albums • done 3 worldwide tours • did a FOUR-year Vegas residency • was a full time judge on X-Factor • released multiple perfumes and a lingerie line • made $138 MILLION DOLLARS or so A YEAR In January of last year, Britney was placed in a mental health facility for 3 months after being seen driving her car to In-N-Out with her boyfriend without permission and for refusing to take the sedating medications her father has doctors prescribing her to keep her under control. She testified to a judge in documents that she was held there against her will by her father. After it was leaked to the press that she was there against her will, the Free Britney movement picked up speed causing a judge to open an investigation into the impact and legality her conservatorship has on her life. Britney’s mother Lynn was also liking and commenting on Free Britney posts saying she agrees that Britney is trapped by her father. Britney’s team had Twitter disable the Free Britney hashtag, and regularly threatens any celebrity that speaks out using the hashtag with a lawsuit if they don’t remove their support for the movement. She was seen shortly after leaving a hotel thru the front door (99% of celebrities park underground to avoid paparazzi unless they WANT to be photographed) stumbling while carrying her shoes, and out of it. Her team used that moment to justify to the public that she needs this conservatorship. She is not allowed to have any say in the hiring or firing of anyone on her team. Every year she pays $1.1 million dollars in fees for the conservatorship to continue, including paying her father a solid $100k+ salary and paying a lawyer she isn’t allowed to choose. She is allowed an allowance of around $1,500 a week for bills, shopping and essentials. Her net worth is $250 million. So, when everyone sees her on Instagram walking up and down her hallways like it’s a fashion show. That’s all she is allowed to do. She has NEVER had control over her life. I don’t care if you personally like her or her music, NO ONE DESERVES THIS. All this woman wants is to see her children, make the music she wants to make, and go get a frappuccino in her car. She is a light of sunshine in this world, and we must protect her at all costs. So please, do not make fun of her, support the Free Britney movement, and send good vibes her way. She has a court date this month to review the conservatorship and decide if it is abusive or will continue to be in place. There are so many details to this that i left out that would make this post entirely much longer than it is, but a simple search will show you what else is out there. Spread this far and wide. ❤️ Free Britney Edited to add some important links! Here’s a google doc of info https://docs.google.com/document/d/17jeZV78SCwgQGsOkad0H0PA8jqjgRsxgSqD9f_f1yAk/edit Petition by Danny H: https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/conservatorship-and-civil-liberties-britney-spears Screenshots of leaked emails, voicemails, and other helpful links: https://www.businessinsider.com/inside-britney-spears-conservatorship-freebritney-movement-2020-2 https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2019-09-17/britney-spears-conservatorship-free-britney https://www.forbes.com/sites/trialandheirs/2019/05/15/making-sense-of-the-britney-spears-conservatorship-and-freebritney/#5ce808c94b74 Jayden going on Instagram live reporting they were being abused by his grandfather: https://theblast.com/c/britney-spears-son-jayden-james-instagram-live-video-free-britney This is a news article from USA Today about her father’s child abuse allegations filed by Kevin Federline. He reportedly had an altercation with Sean in September 2019: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.usatoday.com/amp/2362531001 Source from the opposing view pointing to the success of her conservatorship and that fans are wrong, I think it's weird she has made no formal appearances to contest the conservatorship in court but she said (link above) we were not being told the truth and the media is being manipulated: https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2019/10/24/britney-spears-why-does-she-still-need-conservator/2288009001/ There's a lot of money at stake to keep her in this situation. Just seems too convenient that she can't care for herself considering her net worth, and considering the fact her male counterparts of equal stardom with public mental health battles have never been under this much control. This is an issue and question of abuse in conservatorships at large. Unfortunately, the princess of Pop has somehow become the poster child of this type of crisis. While conservatorships can be beneficial when the best interest is at heart, we can't ignore the fact there are companies that profit enormously from people with disabilities by keeping them under extensive legal control. Are they providing the best care? If Britney has been too unwell to care for herself these past 12 years, why would she be made to work tirelessly? World tours? Vegas? X-factor? Her perfume line? Why not let her rest? Here's a good excerpt from Forbes, it's just not clear what is going on, but my initial gut thinks there is something that is not right. "In this case, Jamie Spears did not have legal authority to force Britney into treatment or to take psychiatric medications. But that doesn't mean that Britney's reported claim that she was held against her will is wrong. Rather, because Jamie has so much control over Britney's life through the conservatorship - including decisions like whether to get married, to perform or live in Las Vegas, or even if she can drive a car - he easily could have refused to grant consent for Britney to do any number of things unless she agreed to his request to enter the mental health treatment facility. In other words, Jamie could have indirectly forced her into treatment even if he could not explicitly sign her in against her will. But, even if Jamie Spears did so, he may have done it out of an earnest believe that Britney needed the treatment. TMZ previously reported that Britney was not doing well and her old course of medications stopped working, necessitating heightened treatment." Take what you will from this, but here are a few petitions to reinstate her rights in August is here - http://chng.it/CMfngqyMBj https://www.change.org/p/team-britney-freebritney

[opalai-pixel-witch]

He woke up to nothing (Ethan/Norman fanfic thing)

Sooo...I decided to go for it and post a fanfiction I’ve written here, since I haven’t been making a lot of art lately. Aaand of course it’s Jaydars fanfiction :P Basically fluff and hurt/comfort stuff. I hope it’s at least somewhat enjoyable ;u; If you want to see more, please let me know!

Summary: Norman reflects on the insecurities that followed him into his new life. As it turns out, Ethan has his own share of insecurities too.

Four months of living at the Mars' residence, and Norman Jayden still wasn't quite used to it yet.

He had always lived alone, after finding a place of his own and before becoming involved in the Origami Killer case. He never went out of his way to make friends or find possible roommates, and so he was used to managing on his own. It was better for him anyway, he thought--for as long as Norman could remember, having company around brought him anxiety, a sensation he grew skilled at hiding but not at overcoming.

One cat was not anxiety-inducing company, and thus Saturn didn't count.

The profiler's introduction to ARI and Triptocaine didn't do wonders for his social life either. He was already very reclusive, being focused solely on his work, but the addictions brought along all the more reason for him to hide himself away from other people--especially when the withdrawal symptoms would kick in. He never wanted to let on that he had a problem, both due to the risk of it putting his job on the line and the issue usually causing more trouble than it was worth.

And then there was the issue of work itself--it took up a considerable portion of his time, it would sometimes get him traveling from place to place, and as evident from the previous case, it involved a fair amount of danger. He couldn’t take the risk of bringing anybody into a life like that. What was the point of becoming close to someone if you were most likely going to lose them in some way?

Those were the main reasons Norman saw connecting with people as a hindrance, and tried to avoid it when possible. He would've been lying if he claimed not to feel a bit lonely at times, but in the long run, it was just another small obstacle. He went on with his life not expecting anyone to open themselves up to him willingly, or go out of their way to help him, or show any sign of sorrow when he would be gone.

And he certainly never would've expected to find himself in the bed of the man he'd helped save the child of. And yet here he was.

Norman didn't think he'd come back to this town at all, with the awful memories it would bring, and its corrupt police force, and the rainfall that seemed like it would never end. He expected the possibility of living there even less.

I guess there are just certain people who make up for all of that, he thought to himself as he pulled the covers over his head. There may be a Carter Blake, but there's also an Ethan Mars, and that's more than enough to balance him out.

As if on cue, he heard the soft sounds of footsteps entering the room, and shortly after an amused voice asking him, "Are you hiding from me, Norman?"

"Mmf...no." The younger man pulled the covers down just a bit to make his voice sound more audible. "It's just a habit of mine. I tend to bury myself in the covers when ah'm going to sleep.."

"You're so cute," he heard Ethan reply, a faint teasing tone in his voice. Norman couldn't help but smirk, trying to ignore the heat of his face as he felt the weight of the architect settling next to him.

"I am not," he retorted. “I just don’t tolerate the cold too well." He moved the covers down a little more to get a good look at Ethan, his blush growing hotter as he covered his mouth in a sudden surplus of shyness from seeing him in nothing but his briefs.

It wasn't his first time seeing Ethan like that--Hell, he'd seen him wearing even less--just seeing his lover revealed like that always got that reaction out of him. Norman never understood people who slept in only their underwear, whereas he himself slept in a t-shirt and sweatpants.

Also, it didn't help that Ethan looked really attractive without a shirt on.

"Let me help warm you up, then," Ethan said, getting into the covers and huddling up close to the profiler. Norman pulled the covers over both their heads and gently rested his head on Ethan's shoulder, and in turn he felt the older man's warm arms wrap around him lovingly, pulling him closer so both of their bodies were right up against each other. Norman exhaled softly at his touch--he always felt safe and comfortable when Ethan held him like that.

Norman moved his head back away from Ethan's shoulder, only for his vivid green eyes to meet his partner's gentle blue ones. It was nearly impossible for him to maintain his composure under the father's affectionate gaze, and even if the shade brought on by the covers prevented him from viewing them properly, that didn't stop the feeling of warmth that spread throughout his body, that excited yet calming feeling he would always get whenever he'd spend time doing things like this with Ethan.

"Is something on your mind?" Ethan asked, interrupting his train of thought.

Norman managed to snap out of his trance and bring his focus back to reality. He looked Ethan over again as he thought about how to answer without sounding too mushy, taking note of the soft smile on his face, but also the slight worry in his eyes.

Worry was not a new look on Ethan--and for good reason. After losing one son and finding your remaining child trapped in a flooding well for about three days, how else were you supposed to feel?

But Norman wanted to get rid of that expression. Ethan shouldn't have to feel worried when everything was okay now.

"Nah," he answered. "Not...Not really, I...uh, I just...I like your eyes."

The heat in his face returned, this time out of embarrassment. Only around Ethan did he ever have trouble finding the proper words. How eloquent of you, Norman.

But it must've been a good enough answer for Ethan, because the architect was now grinning from ear to ear, and the concern usually settled in his eyes faded away. Norman received a tender squeeze as a reward, and could not help but return the smile.

"Thanks, Norm," Ethan replied, lips brushing up against Norman's cheek as he leaned in to kiss him. "Yours are nice too, if I do say so myself."

"They're nothin' in comparison," Norman said, glancing off to the side for a second as he felt himself grow shy again.

"Shh," Ethan hushed him. "I don't want to hear any of that. You have beautiful eyes, and that's final."

He then pressed a kiss to the younger man's lips, starting off gentle at first before pushing a bit harder to convey the passion he felt. Norman quickly reciprocated, leaning into the kiss to deepen it as he brought his arms around Ethan's waist. As the two of them continued to exchange kisses, Norman took in everything he felt during the moment—any time Ethan would hold him a little tighter, or lean in a bit further, or a hand would stroke the side of his body as both men tried to shift into more comfortable positions as they did this. Norman loved and longed for every second of it, every second that involved being close to the man he had fallen for.

Eventually they stopped before they could get too carried away, and once the lights were out they settled into bed, snuggled up close to one another as they drifted off into sleep.

————

Norman found himself waking up in the middle of the night--to absolutely nothing.

No nightmares had. No withdrawal he was forced to endure. No danger he needed to stop. Just nothing at all but the silence and the darkness of the bedroom. It was far more preferable, at least as preferable as waking up during the night went.

The profiler sat up slightly and looked over at the room, taking in his surroundings and making sure that there really wasn't anything wrong. Everything around him was quiet and tranquil, even outside the house where it actually wasn't raining for once. He wondered for a brief moment if Shaun had another nightmare and came into the room for reassurance, but he brushed off the idea, remembering that he didn’t hear anyone’s voice upon his awakening.

Norman then noticed the feeling of something at the other side of the bed, taking up space near his feet. He leaned in a little further to see that Saturn had come to join them, and was now curled up cozily in her slumber as well. A small smile crossed his features as he reached over to scratch the back of her head, getting a groggy mewl out of the cat.

Once sure that everything was in order, he lied back down on the bed to try and get himself back to sleep, only to feel a pair of arms pull him into a tight embrace. He felt Ethan right up against his back, his head pressed up against his shoulder. His smile grew a bit wider as he gently grabbed the older man's hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"An' what're you doing up so late, Ethan?" he asked in a hushed voice.

"It's, um...it's nothing."

Ah. That voice. It was a particular tone that Norman had grown to recognize instantly, both from Ethan and from most people he associated with in previous cases. It was a tone of apprehension. Ethan was fearful about something.

"Ethan...?"

"I'm just..." He felt his partner's body shifting a bit uncomfortably from behind him. "...I just wanted to make sure you were still here."

Norman turned his head to look back over at Ethan, unable to get a clear glimpse of his face due to him ducking his head downward. "Well...yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I...I-I dunno, I..." Ethan moved his head back up to meet the younger man's eyes. "I'm still afraid of--of losing you or Shaun. It's pointless. You shouldn't worry about it."

"But you worry about my problems all the time," Norman responded, turning himself around in Ethan's hold to face him as concern took over his expression. "Did somethin' happen earlier? Ehnothah nightmare or ehnethin’?”

"No...No, e-everything's fine. Really. I just need to be close to you right now." The architect rested his head on Norman's shoulder, his grasp not weakening for even a second. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not," Norman answered. “Ah’m just trying to look out for you.”

The room grew silent again after his response, but he didn’t mind. He was never really the type of man who wanted to talk for hours on end. He was completely content with remaining warm and secure in his lover’s arms, and he hoped that he could help him feel the same way.

“You are happy here, right?” Ethan asked him softly.

“I nevuh felt bettuh,” Norman replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Just making sure. I, um…noticed that you sometimes look…distant. I-I’m not saying that’s not okay or anything—“

“It’s just how I am,” the younger man responded. “How ah’ve always been. Nevuh tried to get close to people before…” He ducked his head downward a bit and looked off to the side, tensing up slightly. It felt strange, opening up to Ethan about this topic. “…ah’m still adjusting to it is all. You’ll have to be patient with me. Ah’m not used to living with others, an’…this might sound stupid, but I feel a bit like ah’m intruding…like I don’t actually belong here or somethin’.”

Norman hoped that Ethan wouldn’t take that the wrong way. He truly wanted to be here, and he wouldn’t have traded his nights sleeping by the father’s side and his days spending time with him and Shaun for anything else the world had to offer him. But he had been alone for so long before this, it was almost like he couldn’t be anything but that.

“I didn’t think that was something you’d worry about,” Ethan said after a moment of silence. “I mean…I asked you to stay with us. If I didn’t want you here, I wouldn’t have given you the key. And Shaun was really excited too, when we told him you were moving in...and he's actually been sleeping a lot better since then.”

Well, okay. That was a better response than I was expecting. The tone within his voice didn’t betray his words either, it seemed. The architect didn’t sound hurt or irritated--he instead sounded merely confused. Not to mention the way Ethan's reminder that he was wanted warmed his heart...and could it have been true that Shaun was having less difficulty with sleep because of him?

Still, Norman felt like he should have admitted that differently, in a way that didn’t sound so somber. After all, it was Ethan who was currently feeling anxious about matters, and so it was up to Norman to help soothe him.

“Let’s just say you’re not the only one who stresses out ovuh things he shouldn’t,” the profiler sighed, shutting his eyes. “An’ ehneway, it’s nothin’ serious at all. It’s just a consequence of living alone for so long.”

He then took Ethan’s face into his hands and placed a kiss upon his lips, one that was quick but long enough to express the affection he wanted to convey. His shoulders tensed up slightly as he pulled away, due to the fact that he wasn’t used to initiating their kisses, but he could see his partner’s expression, even with how dark the room was, and any insecurity he had felt before was chased away by the reminder of just how cute Ethan looked when he was caught off-guard.

“But you know what? If I shouldn’t worry about intruding because you gave me the key, then you shouldn’t worry about me not enjoying myself.” He drew his arms around his lover’s torso, one hand slowly and gently caressing his back. “Because if I didn’t want to be here, I wouldn’t have accepted the key."

Already he could feel Ethan relaxing under his touch, and he could not help but smile a little in success. Ethan's arms were still wrapped quite firmly around him--not that he would ever complain about that--but he felt his chest up against his, falling a bit as he exhaled and the tension began to leave his body.

"An' you wanna know somethin' else, Ethan?" Norman asked, lowering his voice to a soft whisper as he gave a tender squeeze to Ethan. "You an' Shaun have made my life a lot bettuh, too. I don't even want to think about where I might be right now if you hadn't contacted me again. But I don't hafta think about that now...an' neither should you."

Finally, he heard a soft, shaky laugh from the architect. The hold around him began to weaken slightly, much to his dismay, but he knew that it meant Ethan was growing calmer now, and for that he couldn’t feel that twinge of disappointment for very long at all.

“I’m so glad I have you here, Norm,” he sighed, relief and adoration flooding the tone in his soft voice. “I always feel better when I talk to you.”

“Ah’m happy I could help,” Norman responded, allowing his smile to spread wider across his face. “An’ you should remember that ah’m not going ehnewhere if you don’t want me to. We're all here, we're all safe, an' ah’ll make certain that nothin’ like what we’ve been through before evuh happens to us again.”

He felt Ethan’s arm slowly move up his body, and a hand reached up to caress his cheek—it was his left hand, he noticed, due to the pinky finger that felt partially missing against his skin, another reminder of what the father had been put through months ago. Another reminder of what Norman wanted to prevent from happening again, that protecting this man and his child was his top priority now, no matter what the circumstances turned out to be. He leaned into his lover’s hand as it moved up further, fingers running through his thick, dark hair.

“I promise to do the same for you,” Ethan murmured, absent-mindedly playing with the younger man’s hair. “After everything that’s happened, I’m not taking the chance of risking my loved ones to danger."

"I know you won’t,” Norman whispered, still eagerly leaning into Ethan’s touch for a moment before moving over to kiss him again, looking into his eyes with a compassionate expression in his own. “I know how anxious you’ve been about things aftuh our situation. I can tell that it’s been affecting you more often recently.”

“I’m sorry.” Ethan ducked his head down quickly, a faint look of regret crossing his face. “I didn’t want it to be obvious. I did what I could to try to hide it, but…”

Norman gently grabbed his lover’s chin and brought him to make eye contact with him once more. “You don’t hafta apologize, Ethan. An’ you don’t hafta hide your anxiety from me. You know ah’d always try to help you howevuh I could…don’t you?”

With only a slight amount of hesitation, Ethan nodded. “Yeah…I-I do.”

“Good.”

Silence took over the two of them once again, though it was a different type of silence than before. Despite the reassurances the profiler kept supplying, the atmosphere still felt somewhat tense to him. But he knew it was impossible to chase all of Ethan’s fears away. It was just one more thing they had to endure together.

He then felt a bit startled when Ethan’s arms tightened around him again all of a sudden.

“Ethan?”

“I think I still need to be close to you,” the older man whispered. “If you don’t mind.”

The tension melted away in an instant, and Norman rested his forehead upon Ethan's, nuzzling him slightly in the process. “You know I don’t mind.”

Ethan laughed a bit in response as he proceeded to snuggle up closer to Norman, his embrace as warm and firm as ever. Norman hummed softly at the feeling of extra warmth as the two of them made themselves comfortable in their positions again, and soon after they felt themselves slowly drifting off into sleep once more. It always felt good knowing that he was helping out his new family, and he also couldn't help but feel a hint of relief from getting his own insecurities off his chest--even if he didn't get direct answers to them.

"Norman, I love you," Ethan murmured into his ear, trying (but failing) to suppress a yawn.

"I love you too, Ethan."

But going by everything the architect had told him, perhaps he didn't need direct answers after all.