#he so mean tho he literally ruined a guy's birthday just because yes

[krokodilesideshow]

You see, if i ever write a dramatic backstory for Fredrik, you can be sure on one thing;

It will entirely be based off Slaughter to Prevail songs.

[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.

[nightswithkookmin]

What you think of fetus V who said in front of everyone "You seem to really like men" to Jimin? Youthful ribbing? Or a moment of insensitivity ? FWI saying you like girls or guys? Or calling close same sex friends u a couple? is actually common where am from. This has happened in my friend circle too actually. Except all of us are hets so no one take it seriously. Cant think a closeted person would find it that funny. Jimins lack of denial or even laughing it off always stood out to me tho.

What do I think of that comment?

I think we both know very often when people say they think a man likes men, they mean to say they think that man is Gay and very often when the g-word is used in a sentence, it is not meant as a compliment- imma give it to you straight, no bs. Lol.

The parlance gay and variations of it, in my opinion, is often used ubiquitously and traditionally as a slur slang among ignorant, non-progressive, anti homosexual individuals and is often rooted in malice.

And when malice isn't intended, ridicule is. The sad fact is, people adopt the terminology as ammunition to blatantly attack, dehumanize, belittle and strip away the dignity of queer folks and when the term is used in reference to non queer people it has a similar effect. It degrades them as well through the irony and humor of comparing them to gay people.

Gay jokes, if you will, is a subtle art of passive aggressively slurring gay folks if you think about it. I mean let's be honest.

Personally, I don't think Tae's intentions in that moment were malicious at all. I don't think he blurted out those words with the intension to ridicule Jimin either- stay with me. It will make sense in a bit.

But he called Jimin gay nevertheless. His comment if a joke, I'm afraid, reinforces these bizzare stereotypes of masculinity and promotes toxic rhetorics prevalent especially within Kpop shipping communities where every Male idol interaction is hyper sexualised and romanticized thus, suggesting a man cannot love another man, be affectionate or be fond of them unless they secretly lusted after them and harbored a desire to lay down pipes in their behinds- which, honestly is crazy coming from a guy with a cultural background such as the Korean culture where kinship is commonplace but more on that later.

I think whatever which way we want to look at it, it was an insensitive comment especially if you believe he meant it as a joke. It was definitely not his most woke moment, socially and culturally- and that's putting it lightly.

That 'gay' comment to me is right up there with all the problematic statements some, if not all, of the members have made over the years- the colorism, racist jokes, the ' eww, you too black,' 'akekeke- you too tanned shoo,' implying if you're black or tanned you are ugly. The fat jokes, the misogyny and misogynior- please don't ask me to give you examples of these. I don't want to ruin BTS for you. Lol.

There are commentaries on these out there on the internet. You can look it up for yourselves- You welcome. Lol.

For the record, BTS have since retracted, acknowledged and apologized for most of these questionable moments throughout the years and so we cannot hold it against them, forever- not to make excuses for them but they are human too. They learn, they unlearn, they make mistakes, they correct them, they grow and as NamJoon said, they really were a bit 'unsophisticated' and rough around the edges in their earlier years- even if it was just five years ago from now, chilee. They is a mess. Lmho.

I think it's all part of the human process honestly- don't worry BTS, I have a lot of space in my heart for y'all to be human and still love ya. Keep going sweeties. Y'all's doing greatness de la grande kind!! Bless y'all.

In V's case he was, since that incident, put as a judge on a show that allegedly featured queer folks and he seemed more welcoming of them than the other judges on the panel, excluding RM of course.

A year later, he would make a song that the LBGTQ plus fraction of Army would rally behind as a highly pro gay song- Stigma, which I find debatable but whatever. I mean, just because JK has stars, clouds and the sky in his lyrics don't make him an astronaut or an environmentalist fighting the good cause for the climate but to each his own.

Stigma was still something, I'll give him that.

Flashforward to five years later, and he would be recommending songs by gay artists, appreciating and promoting gay art and the artists behind them, sporting rainbow outfits, designing a BT21 character that is genderless, incorporating sign language in his speeches- he polished up. Woke the hell up. Politically correct. Yadda yadda yadda.

I think, like some of the others, he too learned his lesson. It's not ok to trivialize the oppression of others or make light of it-

Now that we've gotten the woke bit out of the way, on to our shipping business. Follow me, chop chop. Lol.

Firt of all, I don't think that moment is a big deal. But I find it interesting nonetheless.

Do I think Tae was teasing Jimin in that moment when he made that statement? It's not quite easy as yes or no.

Personally, I think he was clocking him.

This interview was conducted at a point in the timeline where I feel Jimin was shedding his image as the Maknae obsessed hyung in the group. He was coming into his own and embracing himself for who he is and that I think included his sexuality.

Prior to, he had in my opinion, since debut, slipped into the role of the queer jest of the group supplying queer humor and entertainment for listeners at radio shows by offering himself up for ridicule as the 'gay guy' within the group- I hated every bit of it. Lol.

You'd often hear the members refer to him as the one good with the guys, the boy in love with the Maknae- There is still a fraction of Army that see him as this persona but he has since outgrown that label and that phase.

RM was basically the Black jest of the group, offering himself up for ridicule for his darker skin tone right down to his blaccent. Can you do your black accent? They will ask him at interviews and he would proceed to deliver a walmart version of the Black American English. Sigh.

Compared to the previous year where he literally gasped and panicked when the members hinted at his sexuality or made statements that put his sexuality into question, Jimin seemed more in control and mentally prepared during this interview.

When the question was asked of him, the question of why he liked JK, his instincts it seemed was to steer the conversation away from his sexuality- a tactic the rest of the members would employ to avoid discussing Jikook a few months from that interview...

I mean, when Tae asked Jimin on JK's birthday that same year what he wanted to give JK, RM cut in before JM answered. Jimin had done the same thing when in an interview JK was asked if Jimin wasn't his style and JK was stuttering not knowing what to say in response. JM asked him not to answer the question.

When interviewers ask these questions, they do so for entertainment purposes- because who doesn't like gay jokes, amirite?

For heterosexual idols I assume it's not slippery slope for them to engage in these kinds of humor. They can play gay without risking exposing their heterosexuality and when they do play gay it's for jest.

It's not the same for queer idols I think.

Jimin was basically done being the butt of the gay jokes in 2015, he was done selling himself as the JK shit rainbows and I'm the unicorn fixated on him kinda person and it reflected in that conversation.

'I don't like everything about this boy. He ain't all that. But he is the Maknae and he cute so whatever' lol.

Like I said, I think Jimin was steering the conversation away from his sexuality but Tae's comment steered the conversation right back to it. 'I just think he likes men.'

Most South Koreans I've met in person and on the internet spend a considerable amount of time and energy trying to dispel the western notion of gayness projected on to Korean men for their skinship culture.

We like to glamorize gayness in these streets but in reality gay is stigmatized especially in places like South Korea. People don't readily read gay in Male interactions unless they were being homophobic or socially unaware.

To me, Tae's statement was more of an observation about Jimin, one which he felt a need to contribute to the discussion they were having, perhaps to provide insight into the inner workings of Jimin rather than as a joke or jest- or may be he did both.

Jimin managed to avoid opening himself up for the gay jokes and to this Tae then responded, I just think you is gay sir- The emphasis has been mine. Lol.

The thing about Tae is, in the earlier days he used to have a habit of 'exposing' Jimin whenever Jimin told half truths and what not.

For example, in 2014 during an interview when JM was asked what he wanted to do on his free days he had said he wanted to spend time with his family or something and Tae immediately checked him saying he was lying. Jimin then said he wanted to be with Jungkook which had JK fuming.

Was he teasing JM when he called him out for lying about his true desires? May be but I think he meant it too. Know what I mean?

He did the same thing when during their Paris VLive, Jimin got nervous when JK was singing 'know you love me boy, so that I love you,' in the background and Tae asked Jimin if he was nervous. Jimin snapped out of whatever whipped trance he was in and asked 'why would I be nervous' or something along those lines.

Why would Tae assume JM was nervous listening to another man sing? And why would Jimin be nervous in the first place?

And if at an interview Jimin is asked, why don't you like listening to the Maknae sing and JM responded that he is cute but he can't sing and Tae says well I think listening to Jk sing makes him nervous- would that be youthful ribbing or tea? Do you see where I'm going with this?

I see Tae as very observant- If not more observant than Jk. Their jokes are punchier because it is rooted in truth. He is stating his opinion, his observations and when he felt JM's answers were dishonest or inconsistent of his general notion of him, he called him out on that.

It's like him saying JM likes to pretend to be drunk in order to tell Tae he loves him- allegedly. Was it funny, yes. Was it a lie? I don't think so.

Jimin likes to pretend, we been knew. His boyfriend don spilled that tea already. I mean Jk said JM faked being asleep when he noticed the cameras filming him. He said also JM knows he is cute so sometimes he intentionally acts cute.

Tae used to tease Jimin a lot- hell he still teases him a lot to this day. Lol. Had Jimin looking at the back of his head like he wanted to quick punch him in the throat in the recent run, chilee. Lmho.

But you gotta ask, where is the lie in all those jokes?

The question I ask myself, and I think we ought to ask ourselves as shippers is, what about Jimin gave Tae that impression of him in the first place?

What made Tae, coming from a culture and background where 'gay' is a taboo and skinship is prevalent assume that if Jimin liked JK then it was because he liked men or was gay?

Even if Tae meant it as a Joke- no one laughed. Lol. That awkward silence that ensued... now that's how you know he had deadass made a 'gay comment' for real. Lmho.

They were all silent, waiting for JM's response and only laughed when JM responded to Tae- isn't that how it usually goes when you are the one queer person at the het dinner table? The tasteless jokes, awkward silences and stares? Just me? Oh, never mind then. Keep reading. Lol.

Imagine if JM hadn't responded or had gay panicked like he did a year before that interview, when RM revealed JK had been sneaking into JM's bed at night?

Dude was legit ready to throw JK under the bus had it not been for the shady camera guy behind the cameras. Deadass, Jimin was pointing accusing fingers at JK and everything- so much for gay love. Lmho.

The question still remains, what makes you look at your heterosexual friend and go- hey, that's gay. Think about it.

If Tae thought Jimin liked men, even as a joke, it's probably because Jimin had been giving him a reason or reasons to believe he actually liked boys beyond the usual daily doze of gay prevalent within K-culture.

It's similar to JK feeling uncomfortable when Jimin in 2014 described their relationship as one between love and friendship. Jimin responding with male friends can love eachother too without being gay would imply JK was interpreting his words and actions towards him as laced with romantic and sexual subtext or intent.

Now why would JK assume this if men touching men and feeling up on eachother in their culture was a normal thing?

There are gay men in Korea you know?

Tae and Kook were both hyper aware and curious of Jimin's sexuality in that period- for different reasons of course. In my opinion.

Not sure if Jimin's androgynous features played a role in these suspicions and assumptions they had of him in the early days because androgynousity in men is often ignorantly profiled and stereotyped as queer.

Tae seemed convinced JM was queer at least and JK was projecting his own queerness on to Jimin a lot- cough, cough.

It seemed to me also that Tae for whatever reason had the impression JM had a thing for him? I'll save my VMin agenda for delulu Fridays but chilee I don't know, Jimin has been on an agenda to friendzone that man since those manly mans thawed off his chest. Lol.

VMIN... ok.

I mean Jimin's response to Tae was more to deflate Tae's ego than to deflect or evade the issue and I wonder why. 'You are so full of yourself' 'I may like men, but I don't like you' and Tae responds with 'really' as if he's been challenged or dared- ever had your straight friends assume you like them just because you are queer?

Anywho, for whatever reason, Jimin seemed to be the only member in the group around the early days whose words and actions were put through the queer litmus test.

Also, I think a distinction ought to be made between calling two same sex friends a couple and calling them gay.

Calling two friends a couple is inconsequential- except when their sexuality is on the line. Calling two same sex friends you know are straight a couple is nothing but a gay joke.

BTS do this all the time. Jimin called Namjin a couple, Tae kook a couple, himself and Suga a couple, himself and JK a couple.

Jk has equally referred to others within the group as a couple, made heart signs above them, and have even held his chest and said he never thought he would fall for a guy.

In none of these instances did he or any of them imply that they or the persons they were referring to were queer or liked men and I wouldn't make much of such comments.

When JK was called out for gifting a present to Jimin and not the others, Tae teased JK as well and his gestures implied to me, 'it's ok to like him, I know you like him, you like JM don't you, uWu' and other variations of these.

But he in no way hinted at the sexuality of JK explicitly or implicitly- not in a way that prompts a response or rebuttal from JK like it did in Jimin's case.

I guess what I'm saying is that, that moment is nothing but something at the same time. You look at Tae's personality and his reputation within the group as the one with no filter who blurts out things that often has BTS running helter skelter- that 'I want to see your children" comment at Festa almost gave RM an aneurysm. Lmho.

Then they had to literally take his mic away from him when he started talking about meeting a pretty chick or something at a fansigns.

You consider the history between him and Jimin, the context behind that comment and the things that was said after that comment- the interviewer said 'well JK is really handsome...' which means he took the 'joke' Tae had made to mean JM had romantic interest in JK- something I feel JM was trying to avoid.

I don't think Tae meant anything by it. I don't think he knew at the time JM was queer but I do believe he suspected he was.

Hope this helps,

Signed,

GOLDY

[kwrittink]

Check Your Messages

Pairing: Best Friend!Reader x Non Idol!Im JaeBeom

Genre: FTL, Smut (pwp with little plot tbh)

Warnings: language, mentions of cheating, explicit intercourse, fem!oral, unprotected intercourse

masterlist

Check Your Messages

You couldn't handle this anymore. Every aspect of it, of your relationship, you were hating it. But the worse part was, you didn't have any reason to, all of it was bordering perfect. The guy was sweet, treated you well, wasn't prone to cheating, loved you to bits. It just sucked to fall out of love, more to someone like that, so undeserving.

Well, you couldn't exactly say you fell out of love, since the feeling wasn't really present for your partner, unfortunately. You liked the dumbass that asked you out two years ago, but couldn't stand him anymore. And once you start hating the way someone breathes, that's a sign that you probably should leave them.

Before fantasies of making him stop breathing altogether became a reality.

Why were you dating him, again?

Oh, yeah. "Drunk again, huh?" The voice of your best friend JaeBeom dragged you out of your rage-filled mind, glare once trying to drill holes on the skull of your idiot lightweight of a boyfriend turning to the man that effectively held every piece of your sanity at that point. "What was it now? Him trying to match your pace?"

"He's barely conscious, mixed a ton of drinks because he was feeling petty and now I've got to make sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit." You rolled your eyes, crossed arms over your chest not budging even when JaeBeom sat next to you, arm pulling the opposite shoulder towards him, in a consoling gesture.

He snickered. "What he had to be petty about now?"

"Well for starters..." You were going to start rambling what you've already told your other friend. Well, you sent her a long audio message, for when she woke up while on the way to JaeBeom's place, the only person you knew would definitely be awake at that hour. Besides, I know where all the knives are in my own house, so it was the most sensible choice, you thought to yourself, even if that was a lie. You just wanted to go to your best friend's house, abusing his hospitality and knowing that he'd receive you even with a passed out boyfriend at tow.

"Yes?" As he nudged your shoulder you realized you had halted mid-sentence. You'd consumed your fair share of alcohol as well, though anger had sobered you up pretty quickly. By his side, that was ebbing away slowly. That was one of the reasons you couldn't even start listing reasons for the scene your boyfriend made today. It was all about him.

Licking your lips, you looked away from the man that had been the reason for the failure of that relationship, and every other to come, you'd bet. Because you were since god knows when madly in love for someone that has always considered you part of his family, a little sister, as once was put. "He was jealous." That was all you were willing to offer.

"Of me, again?" He countered, and you tensed up, not understanding how could he be so spot on. You'd never mentioned any of your boyfriend's - fair - jealous episodes to him, nor your partner has let it show in front of your best friend, that you knew of. So how could he come up with something like that?

"That's- Yeah I mean, there were other reasons and-" You mumbled in your astonishment, turning to look at the growing smirk on your friend's face, trying to ignore how that simple expression affected your whole body, even more when he was still holding you close.

"Sure... A guy's pride can get really hurt when the girl he loves tells him he'd never been able to satisfy her in two years," he quipped, and by that point you were livid. That was something you send to your friend, word for word. Or at least, you thought so.

"How would y-"

"Y/N," the whisper shushed you immediately, your mouth gaped as you stared at his smug face while he pulled his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, fingerprint unlocking the screen showing, to your surprise, a five-minute audio message on the display. Turns out you haven't sent the utterly frustrated audio to your friend, that was already tired of listening how much you've been head over heels over a man that you could never be with. You were pretty sure that furious and inebriated you had mentioned something like that in the message, along with other confessions you should have never uttered. "You should start paying attention to who you send some stuff." JaeBeom snickered, making all the blood run off your face. What have you done?

Getting up from the couch, you put some distance between both to think clearly. You wouldn't believe a single thing if he weren't showing you the receipt, cursing inwardly as you tried to avoid panicking. "Uhm, you know that... You weren't supposed to hear that," head between your hands you looked down to the floor, feeling even soberer than before. Any speck of alcohol had been burned with how embarrassed you were. "You know, I was drunk- I-I am drunk actually."

"You sound perfectly sober to me, Y/N." JaeBeom's voice was still in the same calm tone and you had to swallow before looking back up at him. "And remember I've known you my whole life - maybe not as well as I thought but - enough to know when you're serious. This is you as serious as the heart attack you're almost having." The playful teasing went completely over your head as you tried to find a way to deny the whole thing you've said. You didn't want to ruin your friendship with him like that, not over such a silly mistake.

But apparently JaeBeom didn't want to give you space to think. "And I hope he agonizes in his unconscious state, wondering if JaeBeom is fucking me the way he'd never be able to. That was harsh, never thought you could be so mean, babe." He kept going, quoting what you've slurred at the back of the car, the taxi driver even snickering quietly at your little speech. You squeezed your eyes shut, noticing how JaeBeom got up as well, stepping once to tower over you only when his body heat hit you and you could smell him again, the familiar perfume you loved on him and bought a bottle every year for his birthday. "That was good Y/N, but you wanna know what's my favorite part?"

Swallowing thickly, you looked up at his face, noticing even in the dim lights of his living room that his eyes weren't exactly trained on yours, rather lower. You were scared to think about the attention of his gaze. "What?" You answered breathlessly. His smile widened again, barely moving as he pressed play on the audio again, your voice echoing in the room.

'If only I had the chance to hop on JaeBeom I would use my time properly, by bouncing on that cock.' You tensed hearing that the last of your morals caring for the man laid on the neighbor couch you were previously sitting on, not wanting him to hear that and prove himself right.

"I'm sorry I... Sorry-" JaeBeom used his free hand to lift your chin, as you mentioned glancing away from his face, a little frown between his brows.

"Why, don't be sorry. I've been wanting to hear that since god knows when. And it was even better than I could have imagined it." You bit your lower lip at his declaration, unsure of what exactly he meant. You loved JaeBeom and if he was just lusting for you that moment you'd probably give in, but the whole thing would still break the friendship.

The fact that he was so close and barely touching you was also aggravating, which made you anxious, yearning. "JaeBeom, I-"

"I know. But I love you, and I know this is complicated for you right now. I just need you to know the feeling is the same. I won't try anything tho-" It felt like ages before you could move again and when you did, the first impulse was to throw your arms around his neck and crash your mouth on his with desperation, almost making JaeBeom fall back.

True to your word, you barely gave time for JaeBeom to prepare before you literally hopped on him, wrapping your legs around his waist and dragging a surprised sound from your friend. Hearing him say that, so sure and clear made something inside of you snap, whatever chain still weighing you down breaking in a million pieces. Morals be damned, you wouldn't let this opportunity escape.

Securing his stance, JaeBeom let his eyes fall shut and, the hands that once started unsure gripping your waist slid down to take a hold of your ass, lips violently capturing yours.

"You don't waste time, huh?" He panted, as soon as the need for air got urgent. Your fingers grasped the back of his head, lightly scratching his scalp and making JaeBeom shudder as you smiled, eyes still closed.

"Can't wait anymore." Was what you could muster, hearing him groan and press an open-mouthed kiss to the base of your throat, making you moan softly. As he parted to look at you, eyes dark with the lust ignited by your sounds, you realized that, despite the time he was willing to offer you, to get your bearings and do this the proper way, JaeBeom couldn't wait as well. How long have both of you suppressed those feelings? How long you've fooled yourself that you'd be able to get over that man when your heart was in his hands?  

In a swift motion, JaeBeom twisted around still holding you securely, getting back to the couch and placing your back against the cushions, his body topping yours in a tight press. You bit your lip as he made quick work of your dress and resumed attacking your neck, trying to suppress the sounds breaching your throat, a quick glance to the side at the still knocked out cold body nearby. Guilt pinched at your chest.

"JaeBeom-"

"You said you wanted him to agonize in his unconsciousness, right? Wondering if I'm fucking you the way he'd never be able to?" The lips once occupied sucking a bruise on the skin beneath your ear interrupted you to mutter those words in a sultry tone that had you shivering. Your mouth gaped at the once more repeated sentence and you wondered how many times had he listened to it to quote that so perfectly. "Want me to fulfill that wish?"

You nearly moaned loudly at the proposal, inner walls of your already damp core clenching as arousal filled you up further. At that moment you knew that as JaeBeom was your sanity, it was also your perdition. You nodded, knowing he'd understand that and felt him smirking against your skin, hands once chastely on your waist sliding back down to grip your now bare bottom, teeth sinking on the sensitive flesh of your neck before starting a new pace, lips traveling down to your chest.

"You're going to be good for me then, huh?" You thought he'd just get to work and wouldn't keep making the mush inside your head that once was a brain work, but there was JaeBeom expecting an answer with hovering a perky nipple, hot breath fanning over it. "Y/N?"

"Pl- Yeah Beom, I'll be good," wherever that came from, the meal turned into speech you had just uttered would make you think later that you were that desperate to be railed by the man that was eating up every sound you were making and gradually losing the grip of his self-control.

"Great. Then let us hear you, babe."

With maybe more strength he intended to, JaeBeom took hold of one breast and grunted before wrapping his lips around the bud, making you yelp loudly at the mix of pain and pleasure it caused. Swirling his tongue once he let your nipple go with a pop, only to rush and take the other one in his mouth, fingertips teasing the slick appendage and sending shockwaves straight to your core, while you tried to catch your breath. If he was being this intense already with only foreplay, you couldn't wait to feel JaeBeom once he got to be inside of you.

And if your expectations of him were high, he wasn't disappointing you, rather exceeding what you had in mind. Lips occupied by teasing your breasts didn't stop JaeBeom's free hand to nonchalantly slip inside your panties, fingers going straight to your slick folds and clit, thumb pressing against the sensitive nub and dragging a wanton moan from your throat, at last having someone other than you touching the poor neglected nerve ending.

As if it wasn't enough, two of his fingers prodded at your entrance, using the overflowing juices to slid them inside with ease and effectively knocked the air out of your lungs as you relished the pain and pleasure of being opened up so suddenly. "So tight and wet," he muttered, letting go of your boob and trailing downwards, peppering your torso with kisses as you writhed underneath him, moaning unrestrained. The presence of your future ex-boyfriend beside you completely ignored.

Too slow he reached the hem of your panties, retreating his fingers only to pop them into his mouth, groaning like he was entranced by your taste. Your face felt hot, either by never having experienced that sight or pure arousal, legs trying to close, and get friction again. Tuting, JaeBeom gripped the back of your knees and shoved them up and apart, exposing you completely to his hungry gaze.

"I can't wait to pound you just how you deserve, babe. But first," he started with a deep and breathy voice, eyeing you up and down like you were a full course meal he intended to enjoy thoroughly, so different from the soft stare your boyfriend gave you before his five-minute performance. JaeBeom looked at you like he was about to devour you. "I have to get you ready to take me, 'kay?" It didn't feel like a question at all so you just heaved, moving to grasp your thighs and keep yourself in place.

The wonders of a good oral were unknown to you, something that you'd only hear about. It wasn't that this other dude wouldn't go down on you, he just couldn't take any hints. He'd never made you cum, though at least you got enough spit on your pussy so his dick wouldn't get in so painfully. Your boyfriend had a great dick, just couldn't use it properly. In JaeBeom's case, you barely needed him to eat you out, already so wet he'd just slip in eas-

"JaeB- fuck!" Your thought process was cut completely as JaeBeom's mouth landed on your engorged clit, not even making an attempt of going slow, suckling at it hard while his tongue flicked at the nub. Your nails dug in your skin, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he did that for a solid thirty seconds and was enough to almost get you to cum. Almost being the keyword, since after the shock he pulled back, smirking pleased at your loud response to his ministrations, looking completely like a beast with his hair in front of his eyes.

"In a bit, babe. I want you to cum on my tongue first." Those were words you thought you'd only hear in your wildest fantasies, but there he was uttering them clearly and with purpose. You whimpered, wanting to reach out and push him back to your boiling core, knowing it wouldn't take long at all to get you to your climax if he kept going with that mouth of his. This time he went slowly, flattening his tongue to slide it across your whole sex, shudders rippling on your body at the feeling of the wet, warm muscle against your folds. The tip of his tongue swirled around your clit with care, flicking the throbbing nerve as he panted against it, hot breath making you twitch. You whined, urging him a little but JaeBeom, with his eyes closed, was too lost on savoring you and all you had to offer him to bother.

A kiss was placed on your mound before he moved again, once more wrapping the plush pillows around swollen flesh and you moaned at the increasing suction and tongue work, but almost screamed at the feeling of his fingers, once forgotten, returned to fill you partially, a come hither motion teasing your whole self into imploding. You weren't exactly sure what would happen but you were sure you'd come soon, and not just once. JaeBeom hummed against you, enjoying the moans that had turned into heavy breaths coming from your wide-open mouth, head thrown back.

Might have been a couple of minutes or mere seconds, but the knot in the pit of your belly snapped, electricity running through your body in waves as you spasmed deliciously around JaeBeom's fingers as he stuck them as deep as he could, working the abused and swollen bundle of nerves to the last of your orgasm. His name echoed in your ears, but maybe that was just you screaming it in the throes of bliss.

"That's it, breathe now babe," he soothed you exactly at the second you stopped clenching, breath heavy with the force of your climax. Fingers retreating, you only heard as he sucked your sweet essence from the digits, the smacking of his lips bringing heat to your whole body. "Breath a bit, tell me when you're ready."

Weakly, you looked at him, watching as he stripped, pulling the loose tee he was using over his head and exposed torso there for admiration. You'd seen the man without a shirt once, but the one in front of you, gleaming under the light with the little sweat on his chest, hair disheveled and stuck to his forehead somehow was closer to a beast than a human. A shiver ran through your whole body as you swallowed dryly, forcing your tongue to aid in the formation of words.

"P-Please Beom, I need you inside of me..." You mumbled, mouth dry and sticky. You watched as he smiled, biting his lower lip, admiring you being already so wrecked while he was just getting started. Hands dropped to his jeans, fingers doing quick work of the button and zipper. Your eyes dropped to observe eagerly, while your lower lip was worried between the teeth.

"I'd like to see your pretty mouth stuffed with my cock but," JaeBeom started, getting up to push the denim and underwear past his knees, one hand taking hold of the length that bobbed after being released. "Now I want you to do like you said, hm?" In the future, the smug expression of his face would probably infuriate you, because he'd know you'd be ready to jump him anytime. But at that moment the smirk only set more fire to your yearning core.

"Like I said?" You asked, taking the offered hand to stand on wobbly legs and giving way for him to sit. JaeBeom nodded, looking amused.

"Come bounce on my cock like you said you would, Y/N." The husky tone literally made your knees shake and you almost choked at the call out. But you said you would, and the opportunity was really presented.

Not wasting another second you straddled his waist, one hand holding his cheek to press your lips on his again, the other reaching between your bodies to grasp his hot girth and tease it on your still slick folds. JaeBeom throbbed, hands now firmly placed on your waist giving a small squeeze to your sides, urging you to put him inside.

"Fuck yeah," was what he grunted against your lips when only the tip was inside your warmth, tongue poking out to lick at your mouth as you panted, lowering yourself on his cock. As you predicted, it felt even better than his fingers, reached deliciously deeper, and made you lightheaded enough to tilt your head and rest it at his shoulder.

"Beom, you're so big inside," you teased, lips against his ear as you gave your hips an experimental swirl. Humming pleased he slid his palms to your ass, pressing down in encouragement to grind with him inside. You abided to the silent request, feeling his head drop by his side at your walls squeezing around him.

You continued the movement till your legs felt stronger, and tried bouncing a little at first, gasping at how his tip was hitting this perfect spot deep inside of you.

"Damn, you're so tight around me babe," He whispered, a lilt to his voice at the end that you perked up a bit to look at his face. Pushing yourself up again you dropped, causing a strained moan to escape, the corners of your lips tugging up at the realization that obviously, JaeBeom could be louder with a little push. It was only fair, he'd made you scream minutes prior, you'd make him feel as good as he was making you feel.

Having an objective in mind made you forget how your muscles were starting to ache, holding to JaeBeom's shoulders as leverage while you began to truly ride him, moaning at how he throbbed inside of you and egging JaeBeom to get vocal as well.

"Fuck babe," you hiccuped, kissing up his jaw just to get closer to his ear again. "F-Feels so good ins-side of me, you're gonna make me c-cum again..." you mumbled while bouncing hard on his lap, a stronger knot forming inside of you. The teasing had some effect, a louder strained grunt echoing on the ambient, his jaw jutted, hips jerking up to meet yours and palms never leaving their spot at your butt, pushing it down as aid. "JaeBeom-"

"Babe, shit! That's it, hmm fuck yourself on my cock like you want to," he went off, humming and hissing at how good you were squeezing him, nearing your orgasm like you vocalized, spasms getting tighter "Come around me like you're meant- I'm right behind you love."

You almost didn't have the strength to get yourself to cum, wasn't by JaeBeom's desperation to get there as well that made him pound up, making the job to only slide back down much easier. At that point, the room was filled with heavy breaths and strings of curses, the scent of impending highs stuck in the air.

"I'm going to cum babe, so close with you m-milking me like th-"

"Please cum inside of me, please!" Your voice was as desperate as you felt, so loud you'd ask yourself how the man sleeping on the couch didn't wake up. "Claim me as yours JaeBeom."

Didn't take him two pumps to start spilling inside of you, arms snaking around your waist to hold you down and take everything he had to give you, the pressure of his tip directly on your cervix, rocketing you immediately to your orgasm. You barely registered, as JaeBeom pressed his head on the crook of your neck, humming and stuttering curses as you went through wave after wave.

You didn't even noticed how JaeBeom had to grasp you firmly to avoid you tipping back, so lost in the bliss.

The only thing that pulled you back were his lips, peppering kisses all over your face until you got back to the real world. He snickered when you looked at him, sighing heavily and weary.

"Hi love, are you okay?" He asked, kissing your cheek tenderly. You hummed and nodded, a smile growing on your lips as you let yourself stay like that a little before you really had to get up and clean yourself.

You looked to the side, snickering upon meeting the drooling face of your still boyfriend, wondering if he'd mind at all you calling one of his friends to pick him up with a little note written that you were over.

Maybe it would be better than him seeing your wrecked state, bruises caused by JaeBeom marking your whole body. You had to have a little mercy left.

[eerienature]

Now it's my turn🙈💚 1, 2, 8, 11, 13, 15, 20, 21, 24, 27, 30, 37, 42, 56, 57 and 59 sorry that this is late🙈💙

ayyyyyyy my guy! ❤️

1) selfie

ditto so I’ll dm you em! x

2) what would you name your future kids?:

so i’ve always liked the name layla because i really admire the beauty of a night sky but then it literally means sheep in aapni zerbaan so ye lol; i think the name marina is pretty too like the whole nature element, i liked marwa as well till my sister said it sounds like ‘marijuana’ which just ruined it for me totally lol; yusuf is a nice one, you know because of his whole story which i just find really moving and im sure i had some more prophet names which i really like but none of em spring to mind at the mo

8) have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? 

yesssss so the other day i was dress rehearsing for an interview (pray i get the job! x) and none of my smart-wear would fit so i just angry cried it out; i have bipolar as well and before i was on the right meds i’d do that daily but now i seem to be doing a lot better alhamdulilah

11) are you listening to music right now? 

astaghfirullah sister skskskk but naa i stopped listening to music about a year ago i feel like it just dragged me down might just be me but like even the uplifting stuff has melancholic vibes to it 

13) how do you feel right now?

so like i think i missed my meds this morning and at round 7pm i got this really intense agitation where my mood randomly switched within the space of like an hour and i got angry that i was angry but now that im home and talking to you i feel a lot better - I was really on one earlier on in the day when we were messaging tho bc i was like ‘OMG IVE FOUND A NEW FRENNNNN’ which is a huge positive for me!

15) personality description

aaaaaaa i could go on forever, hope you enjoy the cv! so im a really perceptive person - i have a strong insight into my own situations and mindset as well as those of others (a positive side to mental illness i think, like the whole self awareness aspect) i’ve been told im ‘compelling’ which is an incredible personality trait to have! i have a mad sense of humour, talkative, very outgoing, very extroverted and i love a good bit of banter with the right people, love meeting new people and hearing their perspectives too. I’m very intellectual, i love discussions and acquiring knowledge and anything which makes you think or reevaluate your current opinions! but ya im really proud of my identity purely bc i genuinely didnt think i’d make it past 16 (suicidal depression, self harm, mad mania, abuse, overdoses, etc) but like alhamdulilah here i am and i think its my perseverance and my relationship w god which i really admire - im really proud of who i’ve become! (but i mean theyre trying to stamp a personaity disorder diagnosis onto me so i guess i could be chatting bubbles and all this could be totally subjective *x files theme toon plays*)

20) what is your favourite song at the moment?

i mean i hear the odd bop over the radio every now n then n the ‘JUST BC ITS OVER DOESNT MEAN ITS REALLY OVER N IF I THINK IT OVER MAYBE YOU’LL BE COMING OVER AGAINNNN’ song just really seems to get me

21) age and birthday?

ahh see i feel like an old granny ting now compared to you! i’m 20 and my birthdays the 5th of april so i guess we’re both april babies!

24) height

5′2 but i dont look as short as i sound i swear lol

27) things i hate

im no longer a hateful person like even the people i hate i pray for but bidah has got to be #1 without a single doubt, aside from that its all the usual stuff such as bigots, nonces, etc

30) favourite tv shows

mostly stuff on netflix like at the moment im watching ‘sacred games’ and ive never been into the whole bollywood vibe but i swear ive been missing out like! peaky blinders is amazing and tommy is beautiful i dont care if hes my dads age, bedlam was incredible, period dramas like victoria n bbcs les mis are really good, you should check out this is england, shameless, dark and NSU: german history they are mint; i love a good documentary as well

37)  favourite actor/actress

angelina jolie i think! like i have an entire hashtag dedicated to her so ya i guess shes the one!

42) favourite books

kite runner and a thousand splendid suns (defo recommend them both yasmin esp tss - if you ever do read it give us a shout and ill send you the coursework i did for it in Alevel!)

56) favourite food

ben and jerries along with cookie dough are my absolute weaknesses but im inshlla cutting down on sugar so we’ll see if anything changes w those ones!

57) favourite animals

cats for sure! mines called marno shes now 5 alhamdulilah and she is my life n soul - i like dogs but they get over excited way to easily which startles me a bit esp as im v spaced out a lot of the time so a dog tryna hug me is like arghh wyd but i mean i admire their intentions lol that n the fact theyre najis is also bit of a problem for me (whups)

59) why i joined tumblr

so i think i came across tumblr on a random google search n i figured it’d be a good form of self expression n a good emotional outlet esp as i was in a v v bad mind-space at the time so i felt i needed something to call my own which eventually became my lil blog - but ye if you go allllllll the way back to my old reblogs its literally just those black and white depression posts and gifs which is actually really upsetting to me; like although im no longer in that place anymore tumblr continues to be a very good therapeutic outlet so im v grateful for that ❤️

and thats all! thanks for reading this far b and feel free to ask me any other questions, i enjoy answering them! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[yakumtsaki]

There’s no easy way to say this so I’m just gonna come right out with it: welcome to the most morbid post in Union history. Half the family is getting wiped out in a single update and I don’t mean to point fingers, but it’s 100% Wyatt’s fault. I really need someone to blame so don’t dare try to take this away from me.

Back to the present and not the corpse-filled near future, we actually have some money to spend on our spawn for the first time ever, so Shajar gets a non-completely-depressing room. No more eating from the cat bowl for our kids!

..spoke too soon.

-Is it still there, is it still there??

-YES omg it just looked right at me! Vic! I’m scared!

-Don’t make eye contact with it you fool! Don’t you have any idea about how children work??

After not getting promoted for an eon, Jojo is suddenly killing it, two promotions in a row!

-I know, I was starting to fear I’d be one of those geniuses who are only recognized after death- UGH, what is that obnoxious sound?

That’s your infant child screaming because it was abandoned on the cold hard floor the entire night.

-Oh ok, so standard parenting. For a minute I thought something was wrong.

-There, there, you’re alright. Ok.. OK seriously, stop. God, have some dignity for once in your 12-hour life. Crying in public is so embarrassing.

-NEEEEEEO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Yup. I’ve been so focused on feeding Victor and Alegra’s ancient asses from the bowl of life that I forgot Neo was an elder too, so he’s the first to go even though he’s way younger than them, great job @ me. Goodbye Neo 💔 You were such a good boy, our cat heir, and an integral part in achieving Komei’s life-ruining LTW. You will be sorely missed.

..Apparently by your archenemy Victor most of all. Vicky casually walked off the lot the minute Neo died with no notifications about running away, only to return on his own shortly after. Wtf is going on in this house.

-I had to contemplate the futility of hate.. All this time wasted trying to kill each other and for what..��It's a sunrise and a sunset from a cradle to a casket.

Yea or this lot is already glitched as fuck and it’s only generation 2. Good times.

I was very bummed out by Neo’s premature demise and not in the mood for another kid, but one peek at Jojo and Wyatt’s life bars convinced me to drop the mourning period and circle-of-life this bitch. They are extremely not getting any younger and who tf do I think I am? Someone who knows better than Mufasa?However since a) Jojo is nowhere near his 100k LTW and can’t be taking days off and b) and more importantly, I hate Wyatt, guess who’s carrying this time around!

OH COME ON

GODFUCKINGDAMMIT WYATT

-Huhu!

How the hell did this happen I DEMAND TO KNOW

-Check how your mods work in le futur, idiόt!

..well you got me there.

Jo you are ON FIRE, 3/3! Maybe we can actually complete this 100k bullshit before you’re on death’s doorstep. It’s gonna be close tho, but you know, you just HAD to get knocked up again, so that’s on you.

-No, it’s on YOU.

No, it’s ON WYATT. Let’s just not point fingers and move on, ok? Everyone is equally to blame.

-NO THEY’RE NOT

I’VE MOVED ON I CAN’T HEAR YOU

And now a section I like to call: What the entire fuck is happening. VICTORIA WHAT ARE YOU DOING

-What?? I love babies :)

I legit went back and checked, can you guess how many times Victoria autonomously interacted with any of her kids when they were babies/toddlers? If you had EXACTLY ONE TIME you win..nothing. There are no winners here.

Oh. my. god. 

-Stop hogging her already, I wanna feed her too!

-WELL WAIT YOUR TURN DICK. No, not you, baby bobo booboo.. 

We’ve had our fair share of plot twists around here but this is truly some fucked up shit. In case you don’t get what the big deal is, enjoy this little trip down memory lane aka the Victoria-Komei-parenting-hall-of-fame. Either the ‘age mellows people out’ thing applies to sims too or they got personality transplants when I wasn’t looking. Disturbing.

Of course SOME THINGS never change, no matter how life-ruining for all involved.

-Is this about my LTW, STILL? It’s been like 20 years, GET OVER IT

NEVER

Whachu doing Vic?

-Updating my will to include Komei now that I suddenly love him. Of course someone has to get cut to make that happen..

Well goodbye Daniel I guess!

-..Who the fuck is Daniel?

-I too am making preparations for when I leave this cruel world.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume they’re cat-related.

-NO, not everything is about cats! I have plenty of other interests and concerns. 

Name one.

-My beloved son! I’m making sure he takes care of my cats.

Finally, this family’s excellence is starting to be recognized. It’s about time.

-Yea no, this is a recognition that you trainwrecks need all the help you can get.

UGH typical jealous hater bullshit, I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.

Ok, I’ve some idea what you’re talking about. Honestly what else has to happen for me to just. stop fucking throwing kid’s birthday parties? I’m pretty sure we’ve had..one that wasn’t a straight up disaster? God knows those glory days aren’t returning any time soon.

-I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m having a blast :D

Of course you are Gunther, you haven’t been sober since the third year of college.

AND SOME PEOPLE ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THAT. ABSOLUTELY NOT. HALF ALIEN PROF ISTFG

-I’m legit fine with this :)

I legit don’t care, it’s not happening in our sacred home. Also BRIT IS RIGHT THERE JFC you’ve gotten stupid as shit.

You guys seriously, what sins am I paying for, why can’t we have ONE NORMAL NON-INCESTUOUS PARTY. JUST ONE. Daniel heartfarting over his ex, ok, not that weird. Komei heartfarting over his daughter-in-law..getting weird. Gunther heartfarting over Half Alien Prof..reaching for the chlorine to bleach my eyes and then immediately drink.

Nice, get in on that action Wyatt! We almost forgot about your long standing boner for your brother-in-law.

Happy birthday, Shajar! You’re welcome for this amazing party, pay me back by not being ugly.

..yea ok. You did your best with the tools you were given. And I mean the literal giant tools that are your parents. Hopefully Wyatt came through with his somewhat balanced personality???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. OH MAN. 10 playful, 9 active and 1 nice? Literally sporting Jigsaw’s personality. I mean darling Jojo has 3 nice points and is..how he is, can’t even imagine what Shajar is gonna grow up to be like, but it’s good to know we’re moving in the exact opposite direction than intended.

-Enjoyed your kid’s birthday party, you cheating bastard? WELL PARTY’S OVER

-I may be a cheating bâtard-

-SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR SELECTIVE FRENCH ACCENT

AW Neo’s ghost making its first appearance and trying to kill Wyatt, what a sweetheart. Welcome to the party!

It was one for the history books! 

-How on earth did this party suck, I had an exceptional time.

Yea that’s because you weren’t there, it’s easy to have an exceptional time away from this family. Of course I have never personally experienced it but the mind does race.

-AH at last, my article is published! Oh, editor’s pick too, ha, of course. No, wait, editor’s warning.. As requested by the legal department? Drama queens. “Horrifying views expressed.. Widely discredited.. Not endorsed in any way by this publication.. DERIVATIVE??!!” Well, I know what I’m doing this weekend.

Is it.. rewriting your article?

-Oh, I’ll rewrite it alright. IN BLOOD

Great. Speaking of blood-

-Victor’s thirst for it is back with a vengeance. We went an entire 4 days without a cat fight and I was all like ‘woo new record’ but one thing has become clear since then:

Victor didn’t go away to contemplate shit. He was waiting..plotting..training..and now the time has come for Victor 2: Reign of Blood.

-WHERE’S YOUR GOD NOW??

Seems about right. Honestly Sophie is the wisest one among us because she got tfo just in time to miss THIS:

Yea, unsurprisingly fucking Damien here is one vicious screamer. WHAT DO YOU WANT

-YOUR SOULS

Good luck finding any in this house.

-Who’s my cute little spawn of satan? Who is? Come to grandma baby.

-ONE SMALL STEP FOR ME, ONE GIANT LEAP TOWARDS THE ANNIHILATION OF MANKIND

Wyatt continues to do nothing of use all day and is not even getting promoted anymore due to his tragic lack of skill points. Somehow that led me to deciding he should be the one to get the genie wishes, I honestly dk wtf my problem is.

-Greetings, mortal etc etc. I’m gonna skip over the intro, you know the deal with the dealio, 3 wishes, let’s hit it.

-I was expectànt more of an Aladdin flair but c’est bien I guess..

-DON’T DARE MENTION THAT MOVIE TO ME YOU FRENCH ASSHOLE

-Um, oui, your désir c’est my command..Huhu! 

-Is one of your wishes the return of your brain, because you should throw that in there.

-Non, non. C’est but one wish in mon coeur, Genié. To nevér, evér have to interact with my bébés but still have beaucoup of them.. In case you can’t tell, I am sim de famille!

-Ugh yea, that much is obvious.

-Well, your wish is granted, mortal! Let me just flick your nose as hard as I can and we’re done here..

-Pourquoi?

-Oh no reason, just for my own pleasure. Buh-bye!

-And with that, he turned into la fumée, mon cheri! Incrediblé!

-I hate my life.

That makes two of us. As in I hate your life too, my life is pretty good.

KOMEI DO YOU MIND WITH YOUR DANGEROUS CURVES, Jojo has a grueling skilling schedule to keep up with.

-So this is it. Rock bottom. 

I mean, you wanted to be heir boo, you got it. It’s a dirty job.

Finally one of the Mortal Kombat cats lives up to its name! GET FUCKED VICTOR

-K.O

Well, we all saw that coming. Victor seriously, you’re like 50yo, don’t do this.

-I’m outta here for the fourth time bitches, and this time I’m not coming back! No man is an island but this cat is.

Ok, see you soon.

Wyatt’s wish is definitely coming true, he has not touched Shajar a single time yet, autonomously or otherwise! What a guy.

-I HAVE NO USE FOR EARTHLY FATHERS, THE ONE I NEED AWAITS US ALL IN HELL

It’s gonna be a long fucking generation.

-WYATT. WYATT YOU DAMN MORON WAKE UP

-Ugh Jojό, I told you, my magique protects me from all bébé interactiόn.

-DOES IT PROTECT YOUR TORSO FROM MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS

It’s a girl! I’m like why stray from a proven formula, so I name her Cyneswith after another Crusader Kings character, who did not exist irl like Shajar but was still a fire emoji empress of Britannia. Welcome to the shitshow Cyneswith! No offense, it was great to meet you, but we have some important shit to do so..have fun on the floor?

FUCKING FINALLY. It’s promotions only from now on boo! 

..Which is more than I can say for some people. Wyatt seriously, can you move your useless ass up the ladder already so we can avoid having this freak in our house EVERY SINGLE DAY.

-The boy’s just following his heart ;)

Half Alien Prof you are by far the biggest pervert I’ve ever had in this game and Jojo spent his entire teenagehood trying to start a bdsm relationship with Stephen Tinker.

Well, Victor predictably died off lot, which is so on brand for him I’m not even mad. An insufferable dick to the very end, he lived to eat and to start fights with every animal he ever came in contact with. He only ever really loved Victoria. I’m gonna miss him so much.

Victor may have died, but that’s not going to stop the police department from trying to return him to us. Just remember that that place is under Wyatt’s supervision and it all makes sense.

Can hardly wait, Professional Make-Up Cop.

-I want to play a game, Alegra.

Man is someone gunning to be put up for adoption!

-Papa’s birthday présent to you, Shajar, is us finally meeting! Breathe it in, mon favori, I’ll be seeing you again on your next anniversaire!

-Wyatt I swear to fucking god, I will stab you.

Can we get this going please, I’m in NO MOOD.

Not bad at all! A pretty even mix of Wyatt/Jojo and I see you def did not get the Komei jaw, which is pretty much angels singing.

-Angels singing makes my eyes roll in the back of my skull. 

You make my eyes roll in the back of my skull.

-What?

What. I didn’t say anything. Love you Shaj!

-One more for the road babe? After 50 years?

Yea. Just pretend everything that follows has a broken heart emoji before and after each word.

I dress Vic up and have her wait for Death in the living room like a lady, none of those ‘dying in the bathroom in my underwear’ deaths, befitting people like Wyatt. However ideal the circumstances as far as death goes, my heart still broke in more pieces than cats Komei has petted.

-VICTORIA UNION

-Marisa? Is that you?

-NO, IT’S-wow cool armchair, where did you get-no, sorry, you’re dying and all, let me start over..

-VICTORIA UNION, YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR WRETCHED SOUL

-What? My soul is not wretched jerkoff, the fuck you talking about?

-THAT’S JUST A THING WE SAY BECAUSE IT SOUNDS COOL, PLEASE DON’T RUIN IT

-HERE’S YOUR COMPLIMENTARY VIRGIN MARGARITA

-Virgin??? Oh god, I’m going to hell aren’t I?

-YOU WERE, BUT YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER MADE SOME CALLS ON YOUR BEHALF. WELCOME TO HEAVEN

-Yes, I can taste the alcohol in this! GOING GONE, BITCHES. LATES

The stacks of simoleons DID NOT EASE MY PAIN. I do love that Daniel got the most final version of ‘and none for Gretchen Weiners, bye’ possible.

Jojo is fucking devastated and immediately rolls the want to resurrect Vic. It’s bummy af, I’m not even gonna go for the obvious oedipal jokes, he was just crying for days and days and days..

Komei, on the other hand, WAS NOT.

-Eh, I’ll be seeing her soon enough, why waste the tears.

Now that I think about it Komei has never cried about any of the cats either, I think he’s just the type of person who deals with grief by suppressing it. Whatever works.

Jojo and Wyatt are always having these fashion talks whenever they’re eating which are hilarious because I can see Wyatt being into it, I mean he’s french, but in what world is fucking nerd Jojo interested in clothing. Not even that can cheer him up now 💔

Fucking Florence, bringer of doom, returns Sophie to us and the moment she does:

Tell me how am supposed to live without you, now that I've been loving you so long, how am I supposed to live without you, how am I supposed to carry on, when all that I've been living for.. is gone 💔

FUCK YOU FLORENCE

Jfc the blows just won’t stop coming. LEAVE US ALONE WE’RE IN MOURNING

Time for Cyneswith’s depressing ass birthday which I can’t give less of a fuck about, and apparently neither can Wyatt but then again he wouldn’t even if we weren’t ~back to black.

Loving the hairstyle but it does look ridic on a toddler. Good for you for committing to your british aristocracy character tho, very Downton Abbey.

Well the Komei jaw always knocks twice and apparently we let it in this time. Are you beautiful on the inside Cyneswith?

OH. MY. FUCK. BYE. CYNESWITH YOU FUCKING FREAK

-Huhu! 

NO SHE GOT THE HUHU. GOD HELP US

Cyneswith dramatically enters the toddler stage by immediately going into aspiration failure.. You can all guess where this is going.

-KOMEI UNION YOUR TIME HAS COME. I’M HERE TO COLLECT YOUR-

-Yea yea whatever, are my cats waiting for me? If you say no I will literally kill myself.

-I DON’T THINK YOU’RE GRASPING THE CORE CONCEPT OF DEATH, BUT YES THEY ARE WAITING.

-I’M OUT. TELL THE WOLF I LOVED HIM

KOMEI 💔 I’m sorry but we will not be delivering that message.

Apparently Jojo and Komei legit bonded at some point?? I was expecting like a half-hearted sigh but instead we got sobbing-

-and this sum that does not imply ‘least favorite kid’ AT ALL.

Well you know how the old saying goes: nothing will ever replace your parents but a helicopter will come close. 

Also in mourning: this breakdancer npc that randomly appeared on our lot and stayed stuck there for 2 days before I finally batboxed her into oblivion. This lot is fuuuucked y’all.

And generation 1 is officially over. Rest in peace Komei and Victoria, legacy founders, horrible spouses and somehow even worse parents. You stuck it out and were fun to play till the very end. I’ll really miss you guys 💔

[indiegem]

junhui + your birthday

So my lovely gem @sassocrates wrote me a thing for my birthday. it’S BEEN LIKE THREE DAYS AND I’M STILL SOBBING IT’S JUST SUCH A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF WRITING AND I LITERALLY DON’T DESERVE OLLIE. 

it’s just been chilling in my inbox so i asked her if i could post her submission and she said yes so now everyone who reads this can suffer along with me and drown in fluffy feels. thANKS AGAIN FRIEND I JUST ASDFHJKL; BLESS.

@sassocrates:“so here’s a Thing. I hope you like it friend! Happy birthday!

so Jun is planning stuff for your birthday

and he’s freaking out about it a LOT

like, really freaking out

and he was hanging with Josh and Minghao, and he was STILL freaking out about Getting Things Right

to the point where Minghao is like “dude are you all good”

and he’s like “yeah I just want it to be really great, you know? because she deserves it and i’m scared that i’m going to be a let down and she doesn’t like”

and Josh and Minghao share this knowing look

and Jun’s like “what. what was that about”

“oh nothing”

there’s a silence

and Jun’s like “…what’s going on”

“nothing, nothing!”

“what are you thinking”

and he glares at them until josh breaks and he’s like

“I’M SORRY we were just wondering if you were gonna say anything to her”

Jun frowns in genuine confusion like “what do you mean?”

and josh is all like “well. You know. About liking her”

“what”

“what”

everyone is quiet

And then Minghao’s like “so. Do you like her?”

and Jun’s like “pft no we’re just good friends”

and Minghao’s like “yeah right”

Jun is Offended he’s like eXCUSE ME what are you implying

“I’m just saying… like. You’re so stressed about this, you know?”

“i… just want my friend to have a good birthday?”

and Josh is like “not to be that guy but like… you’ve been really enthusiastic about this. like you’re doing all this special stuff. Like. flowers. a nice restaurant. the sort of stuff that, if I were her, i’d think it was a date.”

“it’s not a date”

another knowing look

“sTOP DOING THAT”

Josh and minghao are like “oh sorry sorry  it’s just. So obvious dude.”

and jun is having an existential crisis like !?!?!?!!?!?!?!

so he goes home afterwards and he’s sitting there trying to write your card

and he’s like??? blanking??? or not blanking

it’s just that when he writes anything down it just sounds s o o o cheesy

like he’s cringing at himself

and he’s like “why am i like this???”

“maybe… maybe they’re right? no, no, no, i’m just… there’s a lot of feelings i need to express, you know? not those types of feelings, just… totally platonic ones…”

even though he manages to convince himself it’s Just A Lot Of Platonic Feelings, he still knows there’s something off about it bc. he’s Jun. he’s always so affirming with his loved ones

but now he had to write a letter to you and he’s??? nervous??

and he’s like wHY so he decides to just write something down without thinking about it or looking at it and then he’s like iM GOING TO BED

so it’s the next day and Jun is waiting for you outside your house and he’s like. Really nervous

he’s gotten dressed up and he’s like “what if she thinks I’m ugly what if she thinks I look like a Fool”

and then he’s like “… maybe Josh and Minghao are right…” but he’s like “nO that’s insane she’s just my friend we’ve been friends for aaaages I’m being silly i worked it out last night”

but then

bUT THEN

he sees you come out of her house and you’re dressed up and he’s like

‘mY HEART"

and like he’s just standing there with the flowers and he’s floored and he’s like I cANT BREATHE

“well shit looks like I do have a crush on her”

ao he’s trying to process all of this but then you smile at him and he like. He literally Dies. He can’t take it

so he doesn’t even wish you a happy birthday he just sort of shoves the flowers forward like “hERE”

and you’re like !!!!!!!!!! bc they’re your favourite flowers and you’re like tHANK YOU SM

and he’s sweating he’s so nervous bc he’s like. Still processing the Truth and he’s like. “all my behaviour. All my feelings. They make sense now”

and you’re talking to him about something and he’s like sHIT I WASN’T LISTENING 

so he just smiles at you handsomely and you start blushing bc he has such a nice, warm smile and he’s dressed up so nicely and it’s like? but you’re like no i can’t think about him like that it’s unfair on him

truth of the matter is that you’ve had a bit of a crush on him for a while now but like. you feel bad about it bc you guys are good friends 

so you’ve just tried to push it away but how can you when he looks so damn good? 

but you’ve become really good at hiding it so you’re just like “hey! i’ve missed you!” and you go in for a hug

and he’s still screaming internally but he hugs you and he’s thinks “i have NO idea how i’m going to survive today why did i do this”

so he gives you your flowers and your gift but he keeps the letter to himself bc he’s like No i will be Exposed

the two of you head off to the restaurant, which is Jun’s big treat for you

it’s one you’ve wanted to go to for a long time and it’s a bit on the expensive sid

and it’s like this lovely restaurant and the people there all look so classy and beautiful and jun can’t help but think that you fit in there

so the two of you are seated and you’re both really excited bc !!! this is a cool experience

and waitress is like “oh is this an anniversary dinner??”

and Jun freaks and he’s like “NO NO NO it’s a birthday”

and the waitress is like “oh it’s sweet that you’re treating your partner like this on their birthday”

and Jun is like !!?!?!!??? “we’re not.. We’re”

but the waitress is GONE and jun is just. A mess inside

he’s doing a pretty good job of keeping it together externally tho

and he’s like. Asking you questions and trying to make you laugh bc he thinks your smile is a genuine blessing

and he can’t help but think about how happy he is to be a part of your life and he’s just

so enamored

like it’s actually kind of embarrassing but you haven’t noticed yet so it’s fine 

and so he’s like oKAY here’s a letter i wrote you for your birthday sorry it’s trash i just. kind of banged it out in one go

and you’re like “oh thank you!”

and you think it’s just going to be one big Meme 

but you read it and it’s just so heartfelt? and you actually start tearing up because you weren’t expecting it to be this so genuine?

so you don’t really know what to do and you just say a really quiet thank you

and jun thinks you found it weird and he wants to disappear but tHANKFULLY your food comes and you two engross yourselves in that

you only really make polite conversation over dinner and you’re both very scared and confused

so when you’re walking home, you try and make some conversation with him but he’s just. out of it

and you’re kind of concerned because you were just blown away by his letter and you hadn’t known how to respond? 

so you’re just like i gotta know if he’s okay

and you ask him what’s wrong

and he’s like fUCK IT I GOTTA DEAL WITH THIS SOMEDAY ANYWAY

he turns and looks at you and he says “I think I’m in love with you”

you’re just like “what”

and he’s like “yeah”

and you’re like “I'm…”

and he’s like “yeah me too”

and the two of you fall silent bc of shock

and he’s like “I’m sorry… for being so forward… I was just thinking about our friendship and like… recently, I’ve been feeling a certain type of way and I was always like 'nah it’s nothing’ but it was definitely something like… I never used to be nervous around you but recently I’ve always been like… worried what you think of me… and being with you makes me really happy and i?? I just sort of ignored it bc it was easy but like… it’s the truth…”

and she’s silent for a few moments and jun is starting to freak out bc hE’S RUINED EVERYTHING

but then she says “you know what… it’s been the same for me”

“wait really”

“yea… like I was thinking abt you differently and I felt so bad bc I thought it was unfair on you so I just… suppressed my feelings and prayed they’d go away”

and he’s reeling bc. this is not what he thought would happen. he had braced himself for rejection 

he’s just so happy that he takes you in his arms and he presses a gentle kiss against your forehead

and it just feels so natural and so comfortable and you’re both like ????? why did it take us this long ?????

and you look up at him and you thank him sincerely for his letter and the two of you just sort of look into each others eyes and you realise you’re standing under a street lamp and it’s so cheesy but you don’t care 

he takes the plunge and he leans down and kisses you

and you’re like !!!!!!!!!!! but you kiss him back and melt into him

and he’s like why didn’t i do this sooner holy shit

and when you pull away you both just. can’t stop smiling and it’s the cutest thing ever okay

afterwards you’re just so blushy and shy and you hold hands while he walks you home

and when you get to your door he kisses you again and wishes you a happy birthday

and it’s officially the Best Birthday Ever because your gift was getting the best boyfriend in the world 

[astra-inclined]

.

Just realized I didn’t put a read more...sorry x.x

So like, when my boyfriend lied to me and hung out with his ex (who I’d already asked him to to hang out with for many reasons that I feel...make sense???) I pretty much told him me or her. I have friends who feel like ultimatums are an automatic breakup because they could never be with someone who would do that, but I disagree. There’s nothing WRONG with telling someone this or we’re over, that’s just another way of putting your deal breaker out there. Because ofc he also had as much a right as me to be like oh I won’t date someone who gives me ultimatums, that’s fine.

anyway, he said fine and then basically asked to write her an email explaining and I said....yes? And in hindsight....idk i just feel so shitty about that. Like what the fuck. Why would I say yes to that? you lie to me, disrespect me and what I thought our relationship boundaries are then you want to EXPLAIN to this bitch why you’re doing it??? Let me tell you how much of a real apology I got lol. It definitely wasn’t nearly as long and thorough as this email was. (she constantly disrespected me, sent him emails about how lonely she is and how she knows him better than I do, and that he should break up with me and be her friend.....l o l she even text him on his last birthday....they’d broken up 3 years at that point and not talking for 2......and he still doesn’t believe me when I’m like she definitely??? never got over you??? cause what other reason would you even do that “Happy Birthday, Asshole” to someone you dumped....3 years...previously.......)

Anyway. Couple months later I found out more disrespect was had with 2 other girls to which he AGAIN asked for another “goodbye” email essentially and I said yes again(and said k that’s it...and he couldn’t even respect that and ended up responding to her response like whaaaat hahahahaha) (also chelsea is you’re ever on my tumblr, i want you to know that I actively hate you and view you as the shittiest friend I’ve ever had in my life? thanks for filling that role!) and just wtf was I thinking. Where was my “hey I’m gonna disrespect you and ruin your trust and subconscious and everything you are for the next couple years sorry” email? Like damn.

I’ve been feeling really shitty about that and I don’t want to talk to my friends about it because I’m always like ~dump your shitty boyfriend~ ~love yourself~ but I sure as fuck didn’t so why would I even begin to preach that to other people lmao. and yanno we’re still together and I don’t want them to hate him?! (tho my friends are good at like....ignoring relationship issues between us, thankfully) And it’s even harder because this was literally 2 years ago and we’re both very different people and I mean, I’m no saint and definitely haven’t been in this relationship and I love him a lot now and things are great but I have all these excess feelings of rage that is so hard to let go of (I also have a problem with feeling things.....like wayy after the fact??? after something bad happens I usually just don’t feel anything at all for a long time. but as time progresses, how fucked up an event was finally hits me. example, childhood molestation/rape feels that literally keep getting worse the older I get.)

idk. the gall though. to do that to someone and then ask for forgiveness and then ask to say goodbye to that person..........??? why was I faithful that first year of being together? i shoulda been sharing nudes with my hot irish friend apparently??? (who i don’t even talk to anymore/deleted off snapchat bc he was lowkey jealous. he didn’t even ask me to, i just did it...bc through his bullshit I realized that’s what’s right morally to me???? also he kept throwing it in my face with fights “you have that one guy that sends you shirtless things every once in a while!!” yeh across the seas...but i guess that’s the same as trying to fuck a coworker/ex/friend??? lmao)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate myselfffffffffffffffffffffffffff

dear ocean god, pls help me get into nursing school so I can be run ragged the next 2 years. pls and thank you, I’ll visit you in the ocean when california gets it’s weather out of its ass.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #47

“and our scars remind us that the past is real.”

which dinosaur is your favorite? spinosaurous! have you ever been fishing? i live in north carolina. guess, lol. have you ever broken the law? if yes, what did you do? yeah, like illegal downloading and drinking underage. what is your favorite candy to receive in your trick-or-treat bag? reese's! would you ever play with a ouija board? no. idk if i believe in ouija boards, but i do enough to not fuck with them. what is your favorite foreign cuisine? italian, i guess. have you ever wondered if deep down you’re evil? i have. considering there's one person whom i'd kill if i didn't have the guilt factor, i've wondered it. i know without a doubt i'd beat the shit out of her if i saw her, and that should say enough about me. ugh. i just lose all self-control when i merely THINK about her. who do you still need closure from? jason how did you find out what sex was? how did you think it worked before? i actually learned in the 5th grade from sex ed. before that, i had no theories, i didn't know it was a thing. when did you last see an attractive member of your preferred sex? did you speak to them? do you think you’ll see them again? i saw this SUPER cute guy on christianmingle, but i didn't talk to him (you can't talk to people on there 'less you have a subscription, which i don't have yet). who knows if i ever will. what exactly did you eat for your last meal? have you any idea what you’ll be eating your next meal? i had honey nut cheerios. my next meal will be at 12:00, but because we have no bread, i'll probably just like have a cookie. we barely have anything right now. have you ever tasted baby food? how about pet food? no. pet food, i did have a guinea pig treat once lol. if you found out that your ex was having a child with someone else, how would you feel about that? fucking NO find 5 people on your facebook friends list, whose name begins with k. who are these people, and how did you meet them? kelly: met in art class in high school. she is now a mother to a daughter named jasey. katherine: we met via youtube, i think? she just lost her dad. :( katelynn: jacob's ex. very sweet lady. kathleen: high school friend. she moved away after school. kenesa: my hair stylist. if you wear glasses, are they dirty right now? eh, kinda. are you good at wrapping presents? nope. do you put your hair up when you cook? i don't really cook, but i never have in the cases where i have. do you prefer mountain dew or sprite? mountain dew. i don't like sprite. funny how it was my fave soda as a kid. what is your favorite unisex name? hm, not sure. have you ever deleted anyone from your facebook friends list? if so, why? yes, either because we don't talk, i have no interest in keeping up with you anymore, or you've done something to piss me off. time for a random question about the person you love/like. what’s his/her favorite food? probably pizza, but i'm not sure, actually. do you regret any of your past relationships? no. what is your best friend’s middle name? colleen. she goes by her middle name. have you ever liked someone that your friends didn’t like, or considered to be unattractive? if your friends have an opinion on someone you like, or are in a relationship with, do you take that into account? juan didn't like jason because jason once dated rachel, whom juan liked. i'm pretty sure one of my friends called jason weird-looking before, too?? and no, i don't care what my friends think of those i like much, honestly. it's my business, no theirs. do you plan on having children in the future? i think so, yeah. at the same time though, i'm VERY scared of having another life to watch after besides my own. i can barely take care of myself, for heaven's sake. i don't want a child if i can't appropriately take care of them. do you believe that the world will actually end? it's biblical, yes. if you could choose to be any mythical character, which would you choose? dragon!! what is your favorite animal and why? meerkats!! they're the second-most social animal in the world and would give their lives for their families. do you find yourself on youtube a lot? i always have it open. are you satisfied with your gender? yep. do you know any strippers? not to my knowledge. would it intimidate you if your crush was smarter than you? maybe a slight bit, maybe. who’s the biggest whore you know? rachel what do you want to get for your first tattoo? if you already have tattoos, what was your first one? my first tattoo was a butterfly with a semi-colon body. it represents the butterfly and semicolon projects. ever had a feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? yep. i "knew" jason was going to break up with me like less than a week before he did. when was the last time you cried? last night. when was the last time you walked more than five miles? how come you did it? holy shit dude, i couldn't tell ya. what was the last flavor of ice-cream you had? french vanilla have you ever gone to any ridiculous extremes to lose (or gain) weight? i haven't, but i'm like five seconds from starving myself to lose weight. have you ever witnessed a birth? only by animals. do you think age matters in relationships? yes. as a general rule, an adult should not be with a minor. i personally draw the line for adults around a 10-year age difference. you should just... be in similar stages of your life, y'know? do you ever actually drink milk alone? yeah, milk is my go-to drink. have you ever been in your kitchen naked? no. the kitchen is at the other end of the house, and i'm very uncomfortable naked. do you like the smell of coconuts? eh... i'm neutral. can you play pool? yeah. we used to have one of those leveled gaming things where you could change the top of the thing to create a different game, ex. air hockey to pool. do you think that christians (and other religions) can believe in evolution? i mean... i guess?? but as a christian, it wouldn't make much sense. do you wear socks to sleep?   hell no, that's just uncomfortable. have you ever kissed just a friend?  no, and i wouldn't do that, because i wouldn't lead someone on like that?? would you rather own a snake or a rabbit? snake ugh i want one so badly!!!! what does your town's name begin with? n are you a seafood fan? not generally do you like pickles?  hell yeah! do you have a class ring?  no... i wanted one, tho. we just didn't have the money. do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? gold. i can't wear silver, i'm allergic. have you ever shaved your arms? nope. what about your stomach? i shave the dark hairs were you a nancy drew reader when you were younger? nah. would you marry someone if they were unable to have sex? of course i would. sex is just such a minute part of relationships. what's the last piercing you got?   hmmm.  i think my anti-tragus. have you seen your best friends naked?   just about.  she is totally not self-conscious about doing whatever in public; i mean consider it.  the woman's had surgery on her breast, had a surgery for endometriosis, she's married, her sister like barges in on her when she takes a shower.  i WISH i was like that.  there was one time she needed me to zipper clothes for her, so we were in the dressing room together.  i have so much respect for her. what's the last wedding you've been to?   i was the fat bridesmaid for ashley and nick. do you wear colored contacts?   i wish. one word to describe the last person you kissed?   perfect. are you counting down for anything?   my birthday!! does your hair have layers?  yeah.  ugh they gotta be trimmed. does anyone call you babe or baby?  on the VERY rare occasion juan and i talk, he calls me that sometimes. do you have or want your bellybutton pierced?   i WANT it pierced, but only after i lose weight.  i don't think plus-sized people look good with it pierced, honestly. how skilled are you at photoshop?  not at all.
 how well can you handle vulgar things (i.e. gore, disturbing images, etc)?
   general gore, no problem.  that's an aesthetic of mine.  disturbing images, like, say, a bone jutting out of someone's arm, fuck that. what part of your body would you like to change?   number one thing?  i want my stomach to be smaller. has anyone ever tried to ruin your relationship?  yeah, rachel.  too bad i ruined it myself, bitch. fess up, who was the last person you thought about kissing?   ugh.  jason. ever sang to the person you liked?   no.  after three and half years, i was too shy to sing in front of him, except for ONCE at church. are there some songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone?   yes.  "stairway to heaven," "all or nothing," "easy to love you," and i'm on the verge with "have faith in me."  i have a hard time listening to ANY bvb or motionless in white, but i do anyway. do you believe that there's good in everybody?   nope. do you still speak to any of your classmates from elementary school?   ummm i don't think so. what if you/the last person you were seeing found out you/they were pregnant tomorrow?   i'd be impossible because it's been over a year since i've seen him? if you knew you couldn't get caught, would you rob a bank?   no.  couldn't live with the guilt. if you could discover one medical cure, what would it be for?   alzheimer's have you ever dated someone in the military?  no, and i honestly don't think i would unless i just so happened to really like him.  i could NOT live happily and contentedly knowing my boyfriend/spouse was always on the verge of being killed. what are you listening to?   "scars" by papa roach.  lol i'm having an emo streak. do you like to go out in the rain?   NO.  i hate being wet. do you think you'll ACTUALLY live a happy life with somebody?   lmao no.  this is why i cried last night. how many people have the ability to hurt you emotionally?   literally everybody. have you ever kissed someone who smokes?  nope, and i never will. do you have any brothers?  a half-brother. who did you go to the movies with last?  colleen and chelsea (: would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?   no, because i don't fancy prison. have you changed this year?   i'm more of a calloused bitch. have you ever been in a real moshpit?   nope.  i know it's a big part of metal culture, but i don't think i ever will.  i just... i'd get so scared being pushed and stuff. taco bell or olive garden?  og.  no competition. has your best friend ever seen you naked?   no.  way too shy to let that happen. how old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?  late 20s have you ever snuggled with someone you weren't dating?  no. would you prefer a baby boy or girl?  a beautiful little girl named alessandra quinn. are looks in a boy/girl important?   you know what, i don't entirely know anymore.  so if you read my last survey, you know i joined christian mingle a few days back.  well, thinking about it, i didn't really look into people's pages that weren't at least what i call "neutrally attractive," which is like, not really attractive, but not unattractive.  maybe i was wrong to say all these years that they don't matter.  but then again, if i befriended an unattractive guy irl and developed feelings for him, i wouldn't deny them, so i wouldn't say they're very important. you go home with a hickey, what does your mother say?   i'm 20, she can't really say much, but i'm sure she'd be a bit concerned.  i'm not in a relationship, so to randomly have a hickey?  yeah, she wouldn't like it. do your parents know EVERYTHING about you?  mom thinks she does, but sorry to inform her that she doesn't. would you consider painting your bedroom purple?  hm.  dark purple, i suppose. do your parents approve of the music you listen to?  most of it.  some of the heavier stuff or things that sing about highly negative things, notably arch enemy and otep, mom doesn't like, but of course lets me listen to it. do you keep in touch with your cousins?   no. have you ever had a best friend that moved away?  she wasn't really a BEST friend, but she meant a lot to me. do you wish you had an older, protective brother?  i guess not.  after all, when i imagine said figure, i can't imagine he'd let jason have slept with me.  i'd'a pitched a fit. name some things you would never tolerate in a relationship?   any kind of abuse.  any illicit drug use.  smoking.  obsessive drinking.  i know there's more, but i'm not gonna dwell on this question forever 'til i remember. is it easy for you to accept loss?   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH- what's in your underwear drawer?  underwear, bras, bathing suit, fingerless gloves kiss with eyes open or closed?  who on earth kisses with their eyes open?  freaky.

[baekhoneyed]

tagged by @kokokysoo for one of those “get to know me” memes! (under the cut cuz its so long)

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (idk how many people ill end up tagging and dont feel obligated!!)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: water but like i think my flatmates put vodka in the ice cube trays so?? not sure exactly how much is accidentally Not Water

2. Phone Call: uhhhhh a study abroad program advisor

3. Text Message: my older brother tryna convince me that i’ll make friends eventually lmao

4. Song you listened to: i actually stopped writing this to grab a sweater but then TT came on and i instinctively dance to it now so that happened

5. Time you cried: almost last night but like... not enough feelings to actually cry yet just wait

6. Dated someone twice: never even dated someone once, bro...

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i never regret giving my dog kisses but sometimes my cat swipes at me :/

8. Been cheated on: gotta have a boyfriend first to get cheated on

9. Lost someone special: yup

10. Been depressed: only since i was 12 years old  l m f a o

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: i hate puking so i never go past being tipsy

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. red!

13. millennial pink fight me

14. rose gold fight me again

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yyyes but i sure would like to make some more Here, at my Current University

16. Fallen out of love: mmm not Love but definitely Like? i stopped Liking someone who i had a crush on

17. Laughed until you cried: so frequently it’s worrisome

18. Found out someone was talking about you: um did u mean middle and high school? i was such a petty bitch tho i put em in their places after crying in my room alone lmfao

19. Met someone who changed you: yes yes yes! dallon is the first who comes to mind he’s... no words

20. Found out who your friends are: ummm i dont know?

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list: ...my mom??? lmao

GENERAL:

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them except a few who ive just added bc we’re all transfer students to the same university this year and im Desperate

23. Do you have any pets: yes!! 2 cats, Harry and Kai (shut up ok i’ve always liked that syllable in chinese) and one dog, Lady my perfect cuddle angel baby

24. Do you want to change your name: honestly... sometimes yeah? but only because it’s so boring when it’s translated into chinese/korean so maybe i’d just change my names in those languages idk

25. What did you do for your last birthday: probably just went out to dinner w/ my family, but when i got back to my old college my friends and i went to a store in Queens it was such a good day...

26. What time did you wake up: like... noon probably lmao #depression

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: rewatching exo next door and gettin emotional over ksoo

28. Name something you can not wait for: THE POWER OF MUSIC BITCH LESS THAN 12 HOURS NOW

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a couple weeks ago when she and my dad helped me move in to my apartment

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i didnt have fucking depression! anxiety is easy to deal with for me but depression isnt

31. What are you listening to right now: walk on memories

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i have a 2nd cousin named Tom he’s like 50 years old

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: ......so much

34. Most visited website: netflix/facebook/tumblr

35. Mole/s: one on my back, one on my neck, one under my left boob... i think that’s it

36. Mark/s: mostly bruises on my shins bc im clumsy; also some shaving scars from like 3+ years ago (one of em bled for 4 days while i was in china!)

37. Childhood dream: typical american kid stuff like ballerina and movie star

38. Hair color: medium brown i guess? it used to be lighter but it’s been getting darker as i get older

39. Long or short hair: i just cut it short again so it’s just touching my shoulders when dry (it’s wavy-curly so it’s a bit longer than that in reality)

40. Do you have a crush on someone: yeah can i have uhhhhhhhh byun baekhyun? no one irl tho

41. What do you like about yourself: ive got a great complexion that has really calmed down in the past few years! and i love my eyes ive got gorgeous eyes and a nice smile and a cute body and ive been doin self-love the past year can u tell?

42. Piercings: just regular ear piercings that i only got... a year ago...

43. Blood type: i never remember but maybe O? whichever one is the most common i think idk tho

44. Nickname: lulu is a nickname, ummm ive had a few friends call me em or ems which is cute

45. Relationship status: chronically single and repulsive to the male population, perhaps?

46. Zodiac: sun in pisces/leo rising (fun fact when i was little a kid asked me my sign so i said pisces and he called me fish poop so i cried) (he was probably a gemini the fuckin asshole), year of the tiger

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite tv show: pushing daisies, 30 rock, scrubs, grey’s anatomy but only up til the 8th season then it’s bad

49. Tattoos: i actually almost got one a few weeks ago but then i lost my job :/ i wanted to get “je ne regrette rien” tattooed on my hip bone real small

50. Right or left handed: right - i used to be able to write pretty well with my left hand but alas...

51. Surgery: yyyup wisdom teeth removal, eyelid surgery to get rid of some bumpy things, broken arm when i was like 1.5 years old, and im getting lasik next summer probably

52. Piercing: ya already asked ya doofus

53. Sport: my dad made me play basketball in middle school i got 2 technical fouls bc i had anger issues so i stopped playing basketball. i got Decent at ballet tho!

54. Vacation: we havent really had the money lately

55. Pair of trainers: i just bought 2 new pairs bc i ruined my only pair in seoul and had to throw them out (they got soaked in the rain and then mildewed n all) (side note: they’re so expensive?? the adidas and nike were as expensive as the new balance which is Silly so i just bought adidas and nike)

MORE GENERAL:

56. Eating: nothing rn but i need to go get dinner...

57. Drinking: did we not already go over this

58. I’m about to go: either to the dining hall or to a nearby restaurant im honestly not sure 

59. Waiting for: exo to move in next door to me only to discover that one of them is my childhood best friend-slash-first love and another has fallen in love with me and my clumsy but lovable personality :)

60. Want: byun baekhyun (im kidding kind of, um i want to make friends here and be less anxious about my classes and life in general)

61. Get married: yeah one day but so far no one i’ve met is Vibing with that seeing as no one will even ask me out im not Super Hopeful :/

62. Career: chinese major/korean minor at a university um hopefully after i graduate someone will hire me and give me money to do something i dont completely hate but we’ll see

WHICH IS BETTER:

63. Hugs or kisses: i literally would not know so i will say Hugs because they’re the only things ive experienced! and i could use a really long hug rn

64. Lips or eyes: ...eyes... but lips r important too cuz i cant even look at a photo of amy schumer anymore w/out staring at her terrifying lips

65. Shorter or taller: taller but someone around my height would be ok too (.....im just sayin im like the same height as bbh...)

66. Older or younger: older bc im not about to go dating a freshman or a high schooler lmfao

67. Nice arms or nice stomach: arrrrrrrrms

68. Hookup or relationship: never had either but i think i’d prefer a stable relationship to some extent?? we just dont know

69. Troublemaker or hesitant: im a troublemaker when im comfortable w/ people/places but other than that hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER:

70. Kissed a stranger: no

71. Drank hard liquor: yeah it’s nasty :/ but it does the trick

72. Lost glasses/contact lenses: somehow no

73. Turned someone down: ya this one guy hit on me when i was walking thru myeongdong but he was a) a stranger b) 25 years old c) from egypt so like it was never gonna happen buddy

74: Sex on the first date: gonna need a first date before i can even answer (the answer would be no i am not down w/ that) 

75. Broken someone’s heart: probably not, ill dont think im capable of doing that plus im still so young that realistically it just hasnt been a possibility

76. Had your heart broken: not really, my silly crushes have all been resolved easily bc i never talk about them and then i notice things i dont like about the person and stop liking them like that

77. Been arrested: no but a friend of mine got arrested for trespassing on a roof in nyc last year lmao

78: Cried when someone died: yeah

79. Fallen for a friend: sort of? briefly? it never went anywhere it was silly

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

80. Yourself: i try to most days but it’s rough

81: Miracles: i mean im not a non-believer but i also don’t actively wait for them to happen or really put much stock in them

82. Love at first sight: im not sure because bbh hasnt seen me yet so how would we know??

83. Santa Claus: not anymore i think when i was 8 i sorta stopped

84. Kiss on the first date: never even had a first date or a first kiss ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

85. Angels: um yeah actually! proof they exist - byun baekhyun do kyungsoo kim jongdae kim jongin the list goes on,,

OTHER:

90. Current best friends: dallon, lilli, ida, stephanie, aria!

91: Eye color: light green. i have Gorgeous eyes!!!

92: Favorite movie: a taiwanese movie called Secret, i rly liked ksoo’s movie Hyung, Chicago the Musical... there are more but im drawing a blank

i guess ill tag... no one but if ur reading this and u wanna do it feel free to say i tagged u! i love learning about u guys it makes me feel less alone

[ejmcmoon]

HP and the Birthday Weekend: DH Part Two Reaction

It’s the finale, guys! It’s here! So pumped and ready to have my heartbroken! As usual, I’ll be putting the Keep Reading thing so you guys don’t get spoilers just by scrolling through. If you don’t want spoilers don’t read.

IT’S HERE LET’S GO

Oh gods Lily’s theme is playing kill me now 

We’re not even 20 mins in and I’m already a mess. Someone send help.

ugh now they have to talk to Griphook the Grump. 

Nah I shouldn’t be so hard on him. He’s been imprisoned for awhile

Every time I see John Hurt I get even sadder. This movie isn’t good for my health. Oh well

HARRY YOU DON’T JUST DROP THE BOMB THAT WIZARD HITLER HAS THE MOST POWERFUL WAND EVER AND THEN JUST CASUALLY TELL THEM TO GET SOME REST YOU INSENSITIVE

Yes Harry listen to Bill and don’t fuck with the goblin

Awww Luna called Dobby “Mr. Dobby.” What a cinnamon roll!

“It’s not the same place you left.” “Neither am I.” T.T

They should’ve had Ron be Bellatrix since he’s so good at impressions.

That guard who’s walking up behind Ron looks muggle af. Why don’t they give these guys proper wizarding robes?!

GRIPHOOK YOU SLICK GIT

Well that goblin that got roasted by the dragon is super dead

Gringotts just went through a massacre. Welp.

“We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.” Harry Potter, a summary.

Lol Aberforth’s savage. “Where would you be if I didn’t [have the mirror]?”

Ugh I hate how Ariana looks like she’s 20 SHE’S A FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD.

THE BIRTHDAY BOY’S HERE (Neville I mean)

Goah I love Alan Rickman and the way he does Snape with the pauses and everything

YAS MINNIE SLAY HIM SLAY HIM

Oh here comes Voldy with his creepy monologue

SHUT UP PANSY

Lol Filch no one asked

Ok I think it’s really messed up how Minnie just dismisses Slytherin and everyone else cheers. No matter they’re all so bitter

YES SEAMUS’ EXPLOSIONS FINALLY GET TO BE USEFUL

Minnie looks so happy with herself when she says “I’ve always wanted to use that spell” What a cutie

YES LUNA TELL HIM

Damn that army is big

Bitch just tell him where it is [the diadem]!

I have a headcanon that Kingsley and Remus have a small rivalry going on.Like, they always seem so uptight around each other

RONKS

YES THEY KISSED THEY KISSED ROMIONE KISSED

I don’t get why the Elder Wand cracked in the movie. Yeah the wand didn’t work well for Voldy, but they never said that it cracked in the books

RUN NEVILLE RUN

YAS KINGSLEY KICK SOME ASS

Ugh I feel so bad for the Slytherins. At least they broke out tho.

Lol Hermione is so in love with Ron when he figures out the map thing.

Ron getting protective over Hermione is so freaking adorable

Okay but Rupert’s ac

GOYLE YOU DUMBASS YOU REALIZE YOUVE PLAYED YA SELF

HA KARMA GET REKT

Harry is too pure for this world

I was all engaged and then Voldy ruined it with his honking noises smh

Lucius is really getting the short end of the stick in this movie. He’s just so pitiful. Azkaban really destroyed Luciu.

LAVENDER NO

YAS ABERFORTH KICK SOME DEMENTOR ASS

Okay, so snape is an asshole, but even I’m cringing as he gets killed.

Nuu FREEEEDDDDDD!

RONKS!!! NOOOOO

First year Snily and Marauders are adorbs

Lol Sev would you like some peanut and butter with that jelly?

Aww poor Harry looks 500% done. He got duped by Dumbledick so hard.

UGH I HATE HOW RON’S JUST STANDING THERE WHILE HERMIONE HUGS HARRY. THAT’S HIS BEST FRIEND SURRENDERING TO DEATH. THEY WEREN’T EVEN SUPPOSED TO SAY GOODBYE. THAT’S WHAT MADE IT SADDER

The ressurection stone is here. Ugh...the feels

“Until the end.” UGGGGHHH MY HEART

Omgs Hagrid sounds so heartbroken NUUUUUUUU 

NO ONE’S DYING EXCEPT YOU YOU NO NOSED BITCH

Okay, Dumbledore’s a dick, but he has some of the best quotes in the series. 

Exhibit A: “Of course it’s happening inside your head Harry. Why should that mean that it’s not real?”

OMGS BELLATRIX JUST GOT REJECTED BY VOLDEMORT SO HARD GET REKT BITCH

Lol Narcissa literally played everyone with one word. What an icon.

The worst thing about this is that Hagrid is the one who has to carry Harry’s body. Also, Voldy do me a favor and never laugh again.

Gosh that hug is so damn awkward.

NEVILLE STOP TUGGING AT MY HEART STRINGS. 

YES YES YES SHIT IS GOING DOWN SHIT HAS HIT THE FUCKING FAN SHIT HAS HIT THE FAN

Does Nagini rob people of their ability to remember that they have a wand because this is the second time the trio physically try to fight that damn snake? YOU’RE A WITCH HERMIONE YOU HAVE A WAND FUCKING USE IT

YES MOLLY YES MOLLY YASS KICK HER ASS

Why does Voldy keep using physical force to fight? That’s way too muggle. He’d definitely use magic in a lot of places where he doesn’t.

Harry: -falls off several stories down and gets pulled into a wild fight while having his head jerked around- -glasses stay on his face Me: -moves an inch- -glasses fall off my face-

YES IT’S HAPPENING IT’S HAPPENING

Ugh Voldy looks like he’s constipated. Here we go with the disintergrating thing. Why couldn’t they just have him die like a normal person?

AWW THAT HUG WITH HAGRID MENDED MY HEART JUST A LITTLE

Ugh him standing on that edge gave me so much anxiety. I definitely thought he was gonna fall off

UGH WHY YOU GOTTA SNAP THE WAND HARRY YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO FIX YOUR OWN WAND WITH THAT UGHHHHHHHH

Aww I’m tearing up and it’s not even the Epilogue.

Lily Luna looks way too happy.

All the kids are so cut and the trio looks so content and ahhhh the feels!

So overall this movie destroyed my fangirl with all the angst. I did think the final battle was done a bit sloppily, but other than that it was great. This whole reaction thing was lots of fun to do! I hope you enjoyed it too if you read it. I’ll be kinda busy tomorrow with summer homework and stuff, but hopefully I’ll have time to react to OotP.

Oh! Forgot one thing. Happy birthday to Neville and Harry!

[sunofgan]

The borders of Nagaland & Manipur :)

So after completing 27 states, the last two pending were Nagaland & Manipur. I had just completed my Tripura and Mizoram plans and realized that a 4 day trip to these places might just be a little tough so this time around I had planned for an extra day, primarily because of the layover time at Kolkata. So like last time, Kolkata is the flight hub for Nagaland and Manipur as well.

I so wanted to complete #Mission29states before my birthday and I was feeling restless for almost ⅔ days that’s when I booked the flight tickets to Nagaland and booked the return from Manipur. This kind of planning works perfectly for me, where you reach your 1st destination and then move to other places by road and then leave from the final destination back home. So It was Chennai - Dimapur - Kohima - Imphal - Chennai.

I wasn’t very sure on what were the places that I wanted to see. I had heard only about Dzuko valley and Loktak. Then started to work on the itinerary, read about things to do and spoke to a friend from Manipur who helped me with all the details on to-do lists in Manipur. I applied for ILP to go to Nagaland, got an SMS confirmation everything went fine but never got the ILP on time.

Finally the day had come and I left to Dimapur via Kolkata, with no priority lounge passes, this was probably the 1st time in almost couple of years, I had spent money on the airport :( So after a couple of hours layover at Kolkata, the flight started to Dimapur and within no time, I’m here on the 28th state :) I had huge expectations about Nagaland, post the Hornbill festival videos and photos and the majestic Dzuko Valley - which is considered as the North Eastern - Valley of flowers.

So after landing in Dimapur, I took an auto to go the Kachauri ruins, this is supposedly their chess board. Atleast that's what people believe. There are these mushroom type dooms whose reason nobody knows and mysterious. You can also think what you want to 😊, the Kachauri ruins were poorly maintained, sad to see such a place which was a complete mess. I started walking through the lanes of Dimapur to catch a shared taxi to Kohima. Kohima is a 70km drive from Dimapur but the roads are not that great and it would take about 2.5 hours to reach here. I could not get a shared taxi but managed to get a seat in a bus next to the driver. These kind of seats are the best, you hear their stories, learn about the city and they add that local touch to it.

I happened to sit next to a CRPF guy from Kerala who is returning to work after his holidays and was suggesting me to try Dog meat in Kohima. I vaguely remembered during my travel to Tawang in 2012, someone was talking all that you can eat in Nagaland. After a 3 hour drive, reached Kohima at 6 by then it was pitch dark, this wasn’t new but everytime I see a sunrise at 4 AM and sunset at 5 PM it just amazes me in North east.

After finding a decent room to stay that night I ventured out to see what is the night life in Kohima like, I was left with only one bakery which was run by a Mallu. The moment I stepped inside, I was like Chetta, Endhu Vishesham :) Had couple of cream buns and headed back to my room. The next day morning I wanted to go to the museum and thought I’ll walk around the city to reach the museum. Kohima is such a small and beautiful city very similar to Aizawl and you can literally walk from any point of the city to your destination. The museum is about 3 kms from city center and unsurprisingly, I was the only one there :)

I then came back to the Hotel as it started raining heavily and after an hour break, I headed out to the Kohima War cemetry. This is a very well maintained place right at the center of the city. After finishing all of these in 3-4 hours, I had enough time to go plan and go to the Kisama Village where the Hornbill festival happens. Though people warned me that there would be nothing to see there and it would just have structures of each of the 16 tribes of Nagaland, I thought it would still be a good place to kill time.

The Kisama Heritage village is about 10 km from Kohima and any cab driver would charge about 200-500 Rs depending on the season and your bargaining capacity. The Kisama village is totally a the place to be if you are coming to Nagaland during the Hornbill festival. They have 16 houses representing each of the tribes in Naga and is famous for the Chilli eating competitions - the spiciest Chilli - Bhut Jolokia. Tug of war, folk dances etc.

While coming back from Kisama, I was talking to the driver about dog meat and he was like yes, yes, I will show you the place and he took me to the Mao market and showed me around all the dogs, snails, honeycomb and what not :) Being a vegetarian, I did not enjoy the food there in Nagaland and was restricted to Dal, chawal and sabji. After finishing my lunch at a Bengali hotel (Yes Yes Bengali hotel :() I again headed back to my room and was waiting for my friend Supreeth to join me for the Dzuko Valley trek. I had enquired about Dzuko valley from muliple sources and thanks to Twitter fraternity they connected me to some really nice people who guided me on the route and the easiest way to go etc.

So here is the most important part of the trip, The Dzuko Valley Trek - Which is called the North Eastern Valley of  Flowers. There are 3 ways to enter Dzuko valley - 2 through Nagaland - The viswema and Zhakhama and the one through Mao in Manipur. We chose the Viswema one as it is shorter but more steeper and you have a proper 45 min climb to the peak and from there it is a straightforward route to the valley for the next 1:30 hours. We started at 5 in the morning and reached the base camp of Viswema after packing few biscuits, cakes, water bottles etc from our Chetta the previous night.

Started the trek from the base camp at 7 and we climbed the next 1 hour thanks to my not so great fitness and the moment we climbed to the top, we lost way and started walking along the small river stream which was going parallel along the trek. After walking for almost 30 mins on the river we realized that we were heading on the wrong direction and returned back to the peak again and then figured out the right one which was among the most beautiful paths we would have crossed. We also managed to cross the borders of Manipur there by reaching my 29th state before turning 29 :)

After walking for the next 1 hour, finally we saw the Dzuko valley guest house and that was the 1st sight of civilization in the last 4 hours. We reached the top of the valley and the views were totally breathtaking. Words cannot explain those feeling that after taking a short nap for 30 mins and having maggi, we decided to stay over at the guest house for the night and return back to Manipur on the next day. We also met a gang of Localites from Manipur who were going to the valley and asked if we would want to join them. We gladly said Yes and then we walked around the valley to see some beautiful landscapes. June / July is the best time to visit Dzuko Valley and you could see flowers of various colours depending on the time you go. We saw lot of Yellow, White and purple flowers.

There is also a cave in the middle of the valley and apparently people stay there during the night. Finally we also took a dip at the river stream which was super cold and then spent couple of more hours in the valley before we returned back to the guest house. The valley is so huge that you can walk from Nagaland and reach Manipur. We decided to buy blankets and sleeping bags from the guest house dormitory and the facilities there were quite reasonable.

After cooking our own Kichidi, thanks to our friends from Manipur, I mistakenly happened to eat the Bhut Jolokia chilli :P After the 1st bite, it just got onto my nerves and then I immediately swallowed the rest and for the next 10-15 mins, I could feel the fire in my belly. The nights are supremely cold here in the valley and we had no preparation of staying over and were literally shivering the entire night.

Woke up on the next day morning and started to come down to viswema by 5 and we reached the base camp in a couple of hours. Spent an hour there waiting for our taxi to come back to the highway. After hitchhiking, we crossed the Mao gate and officially entered the Manipur border. Grabbed a quick biscuit and few water bottles and then boarded our share taxi to senapati which is about 2 hour journey After having our lunch at Senapati we took a bus to Imphal and reached there.

After not having a good sleep for couple of days, we wanted to make sure that we stay at the best hotel in Imphal and after suggestions from my friends from Imphal, we decided to stay at the Classic Hotel. We reached Imphal at about 3 in the evening and couldn’t have gone to the Loktak lake, so we decided to go to Kangla Fort, Museum and the Ima market in the evening. By the time we got ready and left our hotel, both the Kangla Fort and Museum were closed and we were left with only the Ima Market. There were multiple Ima markets - Ima meaning mother, is a all women market and the history goes back to 1945 world war where the men would go for war and the women in the house would come to these markets and take care of the business.

While coming back from Ima market we spoke to an auto rickshaw guy who said who will take us to Loktak lake and drop us back to the hotel. These autos are a good deal for these kind of short 40km trip. Experienced this at Bhubaneshwar, Gaya etc and the autowallahs are more than happy to do this and it is way better than hiring a cab for yourself. We started at 6 in the morning and reached Loktak Lake - World’s only floating lake which was kind of a disappointment to what I expected :( May be if it had been a non monsoon season the floating lake would have looked better.

After finishing the Loktak lake we headed back to the hotel and had just enough time to do either the Kangla fort or the museum. Since it was raining, we thought we’ll go to the museum and this time around, there was one entire school who had come for the excursion :P Museum’s are a great place to spend time in a city like Imphal to learn more about the culture and society. We then started towards airport and that kind of wrapped up the entire trip and my 29th state :)

Itinerary 

Day 1 : Flight to Dimapur. Dimpapur to Kohima - 85kms, 3 hours by Taxi, bus. Rs 180 by taxi and 120 by bus 

Day 2 : Museum, Kohima War Cemetry, Kisama Heritage village

Day 3 : Dzuko Valley trek via Viswema, 2 hour trek from base camp. Base camp about 7km from Viswema village. 

Day 4: Return back from Dzuko Valley via Viswema Village. Reach Imphal by Mao Gate, Senapati - Shared Taxi and Bus. Roaming around Ima market

Day 5 : Loktak Lake - 45 km from Imphal. Museum and back to airport 

[nybroadabroad]

Story Time

This day, this freakin day, is maybe the WILDEST of my life. I am not exaggerating. This is probably going to be the longest post I ever write on this blog, I couldn’t make up everything that happened if I tried, and I feel like I probably won’t even remember to write down everything because there was so much, but I’m going to do my best get ready kids. The night before Sarah had told me that they wanted to shop at 10 and do tea at 11, so I set an alarm for 8 to get up and get ready because I had to shower and stuff. And just to preface, the start of this day was TERRIBLE. NOTHING went right. So I get up all responsible to get ready and turn the shower on and realize the water will not get warm. Literally let it run for a half hour and it would not heat up. But I went to a show the night before and looked HEINOUS and dirty so I had to shower. So I got in and tried as hard as I could to cope but I literally had to shampoo my hair in freezing water so I gave up and did that and just used leave in conditioner after. So things were already going bad and I was freezing but I was keeping a good mentality about it and knew the second I blew dry my hair I’d warm up. Low and behold… my hair dryer has been STOLEN. Straight up stolen right out of my room. I used it the night before, not even 12 hours prior, and it was still plugged in and now it’s gone. So I start freaking out and panicking because that means either 1. someone broke in and took it or 2. my ex-roommates still have keys and have been in the room and stole it. I live next door to the RA so i go to her to tell her what happened and you know what her brilliant response is? “Maybe it’s stuck in a drawer or something.” One, MARY, we don’t have drawers!!! TWO it was on my table when I left my room last night. THREE I always lock my door and I’m the only one living there so it’d be SUPER hard to misplace a HAIR DRYER and not be able to find it. So she was no help and i was panicking and upset and not sure what to do and on top of it I now had no way to blow dry my hair and continue getting ready and was just pacing all unsure. So then my hair is half dry and I just say F-it and start straightening it wet because didn’t want to be late. So I’m like almost ready at this point and message Sarah asking what the plan is, to which she replies that she just woke up and Dana and Amelia aren’t even awake yet…. so on top of everything I just went through to get ready they weren’t even awake/ready/going to be ready on time!!!! So I was STRESSED and mad and not wanting to go so I was like whatever let me know. So then my friend Alex texted our group chat asking if anyone wanted to go for brunch. At that point I had no idea when Sarah and them would be ready and realized I didn’t wanna go for tea anyway and I was so stressed that bottomless alcohol sounded so good so I said yes. Of course the second I agree to that Sarah texts me with the plan so I was like oops sorry I’m going to get drunk and eat brunch now so see you after. So the day started looking up, and me and Nat met Alex, Allie and Hannah at Dirty Bones (my fav brunch place) and there was already a glass of prosecco waiting for me when we got there. We had the most delicious food ever, eggs with avocado on scones and breakfast fries and also had 4 drinks each (at 11am might I add, but we’re in college so we don’t count as alcoholics yet) I had two types of prosecco, a spiked iced coffee, and a bloody mary with a sour cream and onion pringles rim. I’m including what I drank because alcohol was very prevalent this day, and you’ll see that later on, but I was actually drunk for 18 hours straight probably. I love study abroad. So brunch is ending and so is Sarah’s tea and we all agree that we want to all meet at Borough Market. Allie and Hannah leave to go home and shower because brunch was last minute and they weren’t ready and so me Alex and Nat head off to meet Sarah, Dana and Amelia and their guy friends (only one of who I know) at the market. We get there with no problem and are trying to figure out where to meet when Sarah texts me that a protest affected their ride and they were stuck on the tube for 30 min and finally got off and had to transfer and stuff so they’d be a little. So us, already being 4 drinks in were just like “ok lets go pub it until they get here”. So we found a really cool pub and all got cider and chilled until they came. I love cider?????? This one was spiked plum and omg so delicious. Finally Sarah lets me know that they are in the market and tell me where to meet them so me Alex and Nat are walking around making our way, trying some samples, mostly cheese and PROSECCO (i love london) and finally find them. Sarah took one look at me and goes “oh man ok drunky” because she’s my mom and just knows but has to love me anyway!! So we decide that we all want to go buy some drinks and have a “picnic” in this park-ish thing near the bridge, really stunning area. So we go to Tesco and buy some wine and cider and prosecco and head off and just spent some time there hanging out and drinking and taking pictures and it was so nice out and so relaxing and just a lot of fun. So as a side note, one of my friends from Canada who is studying abroad in Dublin currently is in London! And she saw on my snapchat that I was near the bridge and she was like oh my god I’m here too so I got to see her!!! Eventually everyone started leaving to go to dinner and do other things but me and sarah were still there because we were doing dinner just us two so I spent some time talking to Sarine (canada) until we realized we needed to leave for din because we had plans later too. So me and Sarah went to this mexican place called Wahaca (thanks for dinner mom) and got some margaritas and appetizers and caught up and were getting ready to order more food when we got a text from our friends that instead of being at our plans at 10:45 our promoter actually wanted us there at 10:15. Basically this guy who gets us into clubs and stuff for free and gives us free alcohol and it was his “promoter birthday” so he was holding this thing at the Vaudeville. So we paid and left and went home and we’re only one tube stop away from each other so I went home quick to change and so did sarah and then we all met at the airbnb that the guys were staying at so we could pregame. We were having fun there just hanging out, everyone was really nice and I was getting to know her friends better but then stuff started to go wrong again, as was the theme of this night (don’t worry there’s a happy ending) also keep in mind this was all of their last nights in London. So one of the guys who was there, I think his name was Daniel, was doing fine and then all of a sudden out of nowhere he was SO. DRUNK. like blackout, puking, lights out no one home drunk. But somehow his friends didn’t make him stay home because they didn’t wanna ruin his night and some of them thought he’d be okay to come. Okay whatever, I said nothing because not my friend and not my issue. So we ended up getting there like 20 minutes late and had to wait on line which is why Gary wanted us there early so we wouldn’t have to wait but it was whatever. So we’re in line realizing this kid is so drunk and none of us think he’s gonna be let in, at this point i’d been drinking for like… 12 hours straight? and I wasn’t even as bad as him. So we get let in and me and Sarah get let in first so I didn’t see what happened so like we’re in the club waiting for everyone else to get let in when realize it’s only the girls and two of the guys, and that Daniel and this kid Jeremy are still up there. Eventually Sarah’s friend Kenny (the one I knew) tells us that they’re refusing to let Daniel in because he’s too drunk (duh anyone could see that) and that Jeremy was up there fighting for him to get let in. We decided to ignore it because didn’t want it to ruin our time and we didn’t have to pay to get in but Kenny did and like everyone just wanted to have fun so Kenny bought drinks for everyone and we were chilling trying to have fun when Dana decided to go upstairs to see how the situation was going. She comes back down and tells us the club is threatening to get the police involved because these guys have literally been fighting with them for an hour. At this point they weren’t even fighting for him to get let in but the really drunk kid Daniel was claiming that the club took his ID to check it and didn’t give it back and still have it (this wasn’t true) but yeah so they refused to make it work and everyone started freaking out because like this kid was ruining all of their last nights there and it was putting them all in a bad mood that after like an hour and a half of trying to make it work we just decided to leave because wasn’t worth it. We weren’t going home tho, we just wanted to leave this place because so much negative energy about it. So we all leave and go outside and realize Daniel and Jeremy were gone which was great and we were ready to all move on and have fun. So Dana tells us about this place she used to go that was really fun so we all agree we’ll just go there instead. We all get Ubers and go over only to find out the place is closed lol. But no one was too upset, everyone wanted to save the night and were really motivated to make it work when all of a sudden who pops up but Daniel and like jumps on one of their backs and is like hey guys what’s up!!!!!!! And everyone is so annoyed to see him like GO AWAY. Literally one of his guy friends was like you need to go you literally ruined this night but he was so drunk he didn’t comprehend and was just like why’s everyone upset!!!! So him showing up really upset people again, especially this girl Amelia and at this point Sarah wanted to leave too. I was back and forth about going home but like 1. I had been drinking all day and it wouldve been a waste to just go to sleep and like 2. we’re supposed to be having fun i didn’t wanna go home all pissed and waste their last night. So I like half agreed to go home and sarah called an uber for her and amelia but when it finally came i impulsively was like nah I’m staying. So it’s like 1:30-2:00am at this point and the only people left are me, Dana, and Kenny. Jeremy was also around but hadn’t met back up with us yet. He’s Kenny’s best friend from high school so it was all of our first time meeting him. So the three of us are standing on this street corner wondering what to do, so we decide to go to Oneilll’s which is this really fun 3 story pub/club that we’ve all been to before and enjoy so we head over there. So things are looking up again, I even ran into Sarine again because when I saw her at the bridge she asked for recommendations and I told her about this place and she ended up going! So it was me and my friends and her and her friends and we were all hanging and got a drink and having a great time and then Jeremy showed up and everything was still fun until suddenly he realizes that he left his phone in his uber. Simultaneously Kenny spilled an entire cider on my phone (my phone is totally fine tho no worries) and now suddenly all of us are stressed out about finding Jeremy’s phone and trying to track it down and figure out what to do and we kind of get in touch with the uber driver but not really and we realize the driver was probably going home because we were tracking the phone and saw it was 40 MILES outside of London… and it’s like 3am at this point. We weren’t ready to go home but we left O’neills so we could hear better and try and figure out what to do so we’re on the streets of chinatown now just trying to figure it out but Jeremy had a really good attitude about the whole thing and eventually was like, “i’m obviously not getting it back until the morning lets just keep having fun” so we decide we want to go to Duck & Waffle because we had talked abut it all night and the four of us were really set on having a good time. Also, me and sarah had planned to get coffee the next morning before her flight and my trip to harry potter but then she texted me saying she wasn’t sure she’d have enough time anymore so i was pissed/upset and was like ya let’s just go have fun. Duck & Waffle is this super cool place that I’ve always wanted to go to. It’s in this 40 story building, and it’s the only thing in it like there’s no other floors just this at the very top and it’s this 24 hour fancy restaurant that all the walls are just glass and you can see the whole city and one of the like bucket-list things that people do is make a sunrise reservation at 6ish am to watch the sunrise from the top. We get there at like 3:30am and wait in line until about 4am. While we were on line we made friends with these people from Scotland and Ireland who were really funny but you definitely had to be there so I’m not gonna try and put it into words but it was really enjoyable. So we get up there and were like hahah wouldn’t it be funny if we stayed until 6:20 when the sunrises so we can see it. But at this point we were just so hungry and wanted to eat and stuff so we’re sitting and ordered food and this place is bumping and everyone who was there too was so nice and funny and friendly. It was one girls birthday and the whole place sang to her and then she stood on her chair to make a speech until they told her to get down so the whole place boo’d the employees lol but her speech basically ended up being “here’s to being young and getting drunk” so like pretty good speech in my opinion. We also made friends with the table next to us because they started making convo and then the girl who we are not sure how old she was literally could’ve been 23 or 35 or 50 idk why we were so confused about her age but she whispers to Dana that she thinks our friends are cute and I think her really buff (we later found out finance) heard her because he like pulled her over and then she looked at us and sighed and pointed to her engagement ring it was so funny but they were all still super nice about it and giving us recommendations for food and stuff. Me and Dana got colombian eggs (idk how to explain them but best scrambled eggs i’ve ever had) and avocado and toast and Kenny and Jeremy got the duck and waffles. We had SUCH a good time they’re all so friendly and funny and like the mood had changed so much and the night as a whole was just so good at this point we were joking around about all of it I had so much fun. Like despite being friends with Dana we’re still not like super close and I had only met Kenny once before. Like these are Sarah’s friends not mine but we all had the best time together. I can’t even emphasize enough how friendly they all are literally when we first got to O’neills Kenny bought all of us cider and I was like no no no you don’t have to do that and he was like “look you’re one of sarah’s friends so that makes you my friend”. So we’re done eating at it’s like 5:15am at this point. We’re not really tired yet, Dana is a little tired and we’re like…. lets just stay until the sunrise!! So kenny orders a bottle of red wine because why not at this point, literally our motto for the night was to just roll with it. So we’re drinking and eventually people start clearing out and it’s like almost 6am and Dana is ready to pass out but we’re like nope!!!! gotta power through!!! and the sky is starting to get a little blue so we were like okay we’re so close we have to. But then at like 6:05am our waiter is like lol i was supposed to kick y’all out at 5:30am because you were part of late night dining and we have to let breakfast people in now who have reservations and i’m gonna get you to stay as long as you can but you gotta go soon. So we were like okay thanks and he was really nice he like convinced his manager we had a valid reason to stay and stuff. So even when we finally got the check and stuff we were messing around and stalling so bad literally Jeremy sat there reading it for 20 minutes pretending to get the words wrong and not knowing how to pronounce it and starting over, it was hysterical, you had to be there tho. So finally we start to see a bit of the sunrise and they really want us to leave at this point so we’re like okay see ya and we leave the dining area to stand by this area with the elevators and the bar but then the guys are like lol lets stall longer so they both pretend to go to the bathroom for like 15 minutes and the manager is just like y’all… and we’re like lol. But then this random waiter is like can I offer you coffee or something and at first we said no but then we were like wait a second, if we order something we can stay!! (also we asked this before, but they said no in the dining area because of reservations but the bar area was fair game) so we all get coffee, which granted wasn’t my best move because still being drunk + caffeine = heart palpitations apparently. So we ended up staying until 7:30am and the sun was fully risen it was actually ridiculous like we somehow managed to stay at that place for FOUR. HOURS. So we finally decide to leave because I had to get ready for harry potter and I also decided to surprise Sarah at their airbnb with coffee since at this point i still thought she couldn’t make it. So we go to leave and on our way down the elevator we realized how FAST it was like we literally went down 40 stories so quick it was so fun so we went up and down three times… because we were drunk and delirious and caffeinated and five years old apparently. But yeah so then we split up and me and dana made our way to starbucks so i could get sarah coffee and literally as we walk in she texts me she had time to meet so i was like lol and ignored it and bought her the coffee anyway and just went and hung and said bye and yeah that’s where that ends lol WHAT A WAY TO SPEND 24 HOURS AM I RIGHT. Also props if you read this whole thing.