#he sits so gayly I love him

[bloodychurch]

Hello. Is this something

[elephantshoetoo]

Especially when you notice what was happening ten seconds before the Triple Take™ :

(Episode 4:5, paused at 24:23)

Sorry, it's hard to tell in the photo, but you can go check it out for yourself -- Mike is giving Will the same pining gaze Will gives him ten seconds later, it's just not the focus of the scene the way Will's is. That's why the gay panic happens. He tries to sneak another look at Will, but this time he gets caught, because his pookie bear is already staring back at him.

We moved on too fast from this gay ass scene....byler doubt idk her 🤷‍♂️

[ginho001]

YAYYYYY I LOVE ALL OF YOUR INHUN HEADCANONS 🤍🤍🤍🤍 I especially love reading the cute traits and habits they have. And of course the omegaverse 👀 is a big treat, I loved it a whole lot thank youuuu. Hell yes to the gihussy and 💦

Now talk to me about how they feel about each other, how they act when they're together, date ideas, things they love doing for each other, and... sexytimes 👀

anon ur lowk my best friend. i'll share my personal hcs below, but before I just wanna plug this fic that in my mind is the closest manifestation to how I believe the two would interact. this author is amazing and every fic they've written for 457 is ART and if you're looking for a great read, this is it pookie ong ong

ANYWAYS ok ok lemme spit (go read it tho if you haven't already on GOD)

starting off with gi-hun, in my mind he's very demure when it comes to the relationship. behind closed doors he likes the domesticity, physicality and romantic gestures. REASONING BEING: i firmly believe gi-hun never would have married if not for societal and familial pressure, now whether or not its bc he's gay or not (i'm personally on the fence abt that) is up to y'alls discretion. but back to the original point: he had a very idealized view of marriage until he actually got married, and something broke inside him when his marriage failed, and in-ho knows that to some degree. I imagine on valentines or some other holiday, they're just sitting in the bedroom together in the dark, and gi-hun quietly divulges he used to do big romantic gestures like this with his wife, even when he didn't have a lot to offer until things got bad in the end, and it makes him SO tender and sensitive in private, let alone in public. HOWEVER i believe this only applies to gi-hun in korea. When they go on vacation or end up going to the US, he's much more comfortable with hand holding and displaying his ring on his finger instead of keeping it on a chain around his neck like he did in korea. THAT BEING SAID. he loves in-ho. in a deeper way than he loved his wife, and he knows it. the trust is deeper, and he's true to himself, which is something that he could never do before without being shamed for how pitiful he was. in-ho accepts him in that pitifulness an out and he loves him for it. the attraction to how handsome he is and his cute little mannerisms come after.

HOLY FUCK THAT WAS LONG WINDED SORRY

on the smaller side, gi-hun really likes in-ho's hair. i think he misses when his was longer, so he's always mussing it up with his fingers.

when not in peril, gi-hun (surprisingly) loves when in-ho makes his shitty dad jokes. he likes that he can laugh with him, feels freer when he does. he knows that between them there is nothing pre-conceived, they know the worst of each other, and gi-hun looks forward to the times coming where they learn the best.

gi-hun can't cook for shit, so he splurges on expensive pastries sometimes, as he learns in-ho has a sweet tooth.

like i was talking about previous, in korea their dates aren't elaborate, they are just colleagues or friends going out to dinner, celebrating something or other with drinks. however when they head to Thailand or the US or wherever else they decide, they do old men shit. sorry, still not that elaborate. they just go on strolls, go sight-seeing, birdwatching, etc. occasionally they get gussied up in purdy suits and go into high rise sugar daddy restaurants, but primarily they are doing old man shit outside of when they are fucking. they smooch and hold hands gayly tho ofc

because i am a generic loser, i side with the "in-ho is obsessed w gi-hun" camp bc a) its true and b) its true so.

i think in-ho's obsession to some degree is fueled by his guilt. we know from HDH he still has some belief deep down that gi-hun is right, and hopes he can prove him wrong in the long run. Thus, his obsession comes from watching every micro-fucking-movement he makes and hyper analyzing like a doofus. he doesn't realize until there's a little bit of separation that there was actually a decent chunk of his hyperfixation that was actually just into him lowkey. gi-hun is different from his late wife in nearly every way save the fucking. stubbornness. hard angles and naivety, but beautiful in his humanity, something in-ho lost when his wife died. he falls in love because gi-hun has enough humanity for both of them, in spite of everything. he brings him back to the simple, past the whiskey and jazz in his sterile habitat back to the noise, something he didn't know he missed.

in-ho likes doing romantic things. bouquets, expensive cufflinks, decorating the kitchen with shitty streamers on holidays, bringing breakfast in bed. at first gi-hun was very "no, no, you don't have to" but when in-ho genuinely, unironically pitches a fit about it when gi-hun carries his breakfast in bed to the kitchen to eat at the table, gi-hun lets him. if he's not bringing him breakfast in bed he's making gi-hun a plate but feeding him off of his.

UHHHH NSFW BELOW THE CUT

these 2 have surprisingly high libidos for their age, and this is not to feed my say gex bias guys trust, its because when they r finally away from the games, their bodies aren't in survival mode and r like "oh i can fuck now" so they r getting it on like at the very, VERY least twice a week.

i am a bottom gi-hun truther. i personally don't see in-ho being willing to offer himself sexually in that way (as in reamed in the ass), which works out well for them because gi-hun gets a lot more out of it bottoming, aka the vulnerability and closeness. he likes when in-ho is right in his face during missionary, sweating and chewing on his lip because at first he is so, so scared of hurting him. they eventually figure out their groove, and gi-hun comes to find out in-ho has a spit-thing. at first he thinks it's a biting kink, but then it starts getting into spit as lube territory, or just sucking all on his neck not even to leave marks necessarily, just to see the sheen on his skin. gi-hun is less embarrassed about the times he accidentally drools thanks to that

they don't be going crazy in any positions bc old men, and in-ho's shoulder is probably fucked up from getting shot, so they're pretty generic. it takes them a wile to figure out gi-hun is flexible for no fucking reason. just one night they fucking missionary, in-ho grabs the thighs, overbalances and BOOM gi-hun's knees are bracketing his fucking head like no problem. ended up being a wobbly-leg kinda night for the both of em

gi-hun is a talker during sex. he's always asking if in-ho feels good, exclaiming his own satisfaction, etc etc. in-ho talks too, but sparingly because he doesn't want to lose control and start grunting and huffing like a wild animal. it still happens every so often though, because c'mon who wouldn't lose their shit if all the sudden you find out you can basically bend your hubby like a pretzel.

sometimes though they'll be tired as fuck but still have a libido, those times they just kinda spoon and hump, not really worried about the mess so much. those are the nights they'll talk real affectionate to eachother, and fiddle with their rings after bc they are married idc what u say.

OK MAYBE i'll share some abo stuff later as bonus, but this is already SO MUCH LONGER than i meant it to be so I will bid y'all adieu.

[eulchu]

George sits so gayly 😭😭😭 whenever he sits in a chair its only a matter of time before hes doing some weird shit to get comfy until hes sitting criss cross applesauce i love him so much

the gay sitting position is a very serious condition you know

[snowisflesh-blog123]

Hi guys I wrote some bbc merlin fanfiction I hope you like it >.< Yaoi Bl MLM Warning dont like dont read

~~~

Arthur power walked in a manly way through the halls of the castle. He was looking for his useless and super sexy manservant, Merlin, who was late for work this morning. The king sighed to himself, ‘I really need to teach Merlin to not be an idiot’, he thought.

“MERLIN” Arthur roared. Just then he got attacked by a guy with like 20 swords! Luckily Arthur is powerful and flawless so he defended himself flawlessly. Just then Merlin ran around the corner and used his magic to explode the other 20 men who were attacking Arthur.

Arthur gasped. His trusty servant was a sorcerer??? He fell to the ground and started weeping.

“Merlin….” He whispered.

“I’m so sorry sire! I have magic but I’m not evil” Merlin mumbled, sitting in front of him. He was also crying but way harder because hes the uke. “I only ever use it to protect you”

“Right…” Arthur snarled, then he sighed again, “Of course, you’re one of the good ones.”

Merlin smiled, and then Arthur held his hand super sweetly and gayly.

“I’m going to make magic legal” Arthur bellowed.

~~~

“NO!”

Morgana looked into her crystal ball and scoffed. Magic?? Legal??? This can’t happen, she needs magic to be illegal so she can justify being a massive bitch as she has absolutely no other reason.

She breasted boobily around her hovel, looking through her evil magic potions until she found what she was looking for and smirked evilly.

~~~

“Wow Arthur, thank you for making magic legal for me.” Merlin exclaimed. Arthur laughed happily beside him.

“Of course Merlin, I would do anything for you” Arthur blushed. Merlin blushed too.

“Y-y-you would?” Merlin moaned.

“Of course.” Arthur announced, blushing even harder now.

The pair stared at each other, leaning slowly closer. Arthur then grabbed Merlin’s head and the two started kissing. It was so much better than when Arthur had kissed gross women before, Merlin’s lips were hard and chapped and manly. They moaned and their tongues started interlocking and they licked each other.

“I hate gay people!” Morgana bellowed homophobically, blasting the two apart with her telekinesis.

“Merlin!” Arthur sobbed, watching his lover crumple against the wall, “You’ll pay for this you stupid bitch!”

“I’d like to see you try, dear brother,” Morgana snarled. She was probably PMSing or something. “Windgadium leviosa transphbia avadacadavera!”

Arthur cried out in pain as Morgana magiced him. He writhed around in agony.

“How dare you make magic legal!” Morgana hissed, “No one should be allowed to use magic but me! In fact I was enchanting Uther to be super tyrannical when he was alive just because I’m such a hater!” (I’ve actually seen this plot point used before like be fucking for real)

“Expelliamus!” Merlin cried out, killing Morgana instantly. Arthur ran to his side, sobbing.

“Merlin my love are you alright?” He whimpered

“Of course my lovely prat” Merlin groaned.

“I am here too” Said Gwen, who was also there and needs to appear for one line. She smiled fondly as she, unlike Morgana, was a fujoshi.

“Lets get married. I’m sure no one would object despite the fact we live in the middle ages” Arthur whined

“Why do they call it that. The middle of fucking what” Merlin declared.

Then they fucked on the floor to keep it real, as the castle was full of chintz.

[that-one-enby-ranger]

My Fictional Crushes

So like a lot of people I, of course, have quite a lot of fictional crushes. And by quite a lot I mean 106. I made a list yesterday and felt like sharing it because why the actual fuck not. I'm not gonna put any tags though because it's gonna take too long and I honestly don't care if people see this or not it's more just for fun. There are a few questionable ones on here (serial killers) that might need a bit of an explanation so I shall try and provide. These aren't in any particular order they just got put on when I remembered them.

Halt O'Carrick - Rangers Apprentice (Number 1 boy)

Gilan Davidson - Rangers Apprentice

Will Treaty - Rangers Apprentice

Horace Altman - Rangers Apprentice

Crowley Meratyn - Rangers Apprentice

Rayla - The Dragon Prince

Callum - The Dragon Prince

Amaya - The Dragon Prince

Runaan - The Dragon Prince

Ethari - The Dragon Prince

Sweeney Todd (He's too amazing for me not to be in love with him. He had motives people.)

Edward Scissorhands (Just look at that adorable confused little bean.)

Adam Maitland - Beetlejuice

Lydia Deetz - Beetlejuice

Antony J. Crowley - Good Omens

Aziraphale - Good Omens

Newton Pulsifier - Good Omens

Victor Van Dort - Corpse Bride

Jack Skellington - Nightmare Before Christmas

Thorn Hammerhand - Brotherband Chronicles

Yondu Udonta - MARVEL

Hank Pym - MARVEL

Tony Stark - MARVEL

Bucky Barnes - MARVEL

Dr. Stephen Strange - MARVEL

Natasha Romanoff - MARVEL

Will Turner - Pirates of the Carribean

Minho - Maze Runner

Newt - Maze Runner

Thomas - Maze Runner

Morgarath - Rangers Apprentice (I know he's horrible but too be fair, he's a tall, pale, black dressed evil villain who sits gayly. He's cool.)

Vaggie - Hazbin Hotel

Millie - Helluva Boss

Blitzo (The O is silent) - Helluva Boss

Stolas - Helluva Boss

Jedediah - Night at the Museum

Ahkmenrah - Night at the Museum

Shrek (He's a fucking legend)

Barnabas Collins - Dark Shadows

Victoria Winters - Dark Shadows

Arthur Kirkland (England) - Axis Powers Hetalia

Francis Bonnefoy (France) - Axis Power Hetalia (I probably spelt his name wrong sorry)

Jareth - Labyrinth

Karl Heisenberg - Resident Evil: Village

Lady Dimetrescu - Resident Evil: Village (I may also have spelt her name wrong. Tall vampire lady)

Stig Olafson - Brotherband Chronicles

Hal Mikkelson - Brotherband Chronicles

Sodapop Curtis - The Outsiders

Dallas Winston - The Outsiders

Darry Curtis - The Outsiders

Steve Randell - The Outsiders

Two-Bit Matthews - The Outsiders

Johnny Cade - The Outsiders

Bill Fucking Cipher - Gravity Falls (He's cool. Everyone loves him.)

Egon Spengler - Ghostbusters

Peter Venkman - Ghostbusters

Austin Powers (I know he's pretty much a sex machine but he's also really kind and caring)

Kenickie Murdoch - Grease

Danny Zuko - Grease

Frenchie - Grease

Betty Rizzo - Grease

Jenny Dalby - Rangers Apprentice

Haymitch - Hunger Games

Lucifer Morningstar - The Netflix show Lucifer

Beelzebub - Good Omens

Mikkel - Brotherband Chronicles (I know he wasn't even really in it but he seemed cool and really nice)

Karina - Brotherband Chronicles (Sweetest mother ever)

The Other Mother - Coraline (Shut the fuck up I like her)

Sir Keren - Rangers Apprentice (He was actually a really cool and interesting villain with actual morals and he did regret his actions.)

Cruella de Vil - 101 Dalmations but I like her more in the movie Cruella

Jafar - Aladdin

Captin Hook - Literally any of the versions of him

Hades - Hercules but just him in general

Dionysus - He's a cool god.

Yzma - Emperors New Groove

Dr Facilier - Princess and the Frog

Queen of Hearts - Alice in Wonderland

Monolo Sanchez - Book of Life

Hector - Coco

Jasper - Cruella

Arty - Cruella

Artemis - Ready Player One

Robin Hood - Any of them apart from the fucking fox. I like Men in Tights version.

Wezley - Princess Bride

Inigo Montoya - Princess Bride

Sheriff Woody - Toy Story (I know its weird and a little bit fucked up but I like him.)

Elsa - Frozen

Merida - Brave

Bo Peep - Toy Story

Kuzco - Emperors New Groove (He's funny)

Flynn Rider - Tangled

Willy Wonka - Johnny Depp's version

Ruv - Friday Night Funkin' Midfight Masses

Sam - Assasins Blade

Michael Afton - FNaF

John - FNaF Novel Trilogy

Barbarossa - Ned's Circus of Marvels (Yes he is a villain. Yes he ia pirate butcher. Yes he is horrible. But he's cool and a pirate and a butcher and I like villains like that.)

Bennissimo - Ned's Circus of Marvels

Loki - MARVEL

Jacob Coote - Looking For Alibrandi

Ryder Dagon - He's a character I made up for a book series I was going to write but gave up on. He's my character. No one else knows him apart from my sibling.

Chloe Decker - Lucifer

Arnold J. Rimmer - Red Dwarf

Alexander Lemtov - Eurovision: The Story of Fire Saga

Rosalina - Mario

Four - Divergent

There are a lot more I just can't think of any at the moment. If you want to y'all can show me a list of your fictional crushes. I won't judge.

[overlord-of-chaos]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD GOOD OMENS

(Spoilers ahead for series 2 if you had not already guessed.)

So first of all oh my god. OH MY GOD. I may never recover actually. I’m not sure I want to.

Secondly oh my god. I was expecting something spectacular. And I’ll be damned if Neil Gaiman did not deliver.

(I am writing this in the middle of a field. Well, technically the edge of a field, but it’s right next to another one so it looks like I’m in the middle from a distance. Why am I in a field, you might ask? Because that FUCKING ENDING was so *gesticulates gayly* that I needed to find somewhere to scream at the world. (It’s very cathartic actually I should do it more often.) If anyone nearby is concerned by someone screaming in a field it was probably me. I’m not fine, but I’m not in mortal peril either so no need to disrupt the field screaming. If you own the field and did not want me traipsing through it, I’m terribly sorry I advise you take it up with Mr. Gaiman.)

They kissed they kissed they kissed I mean the ineffable husbands were basically canon from the beginning but I never expected this. (I should know better. I know.)

I tell you what I am loving how many shows/movies at the moment basically seem to be going “gay ‘subtext’? no no darling this gay is text and you cannot argue otherwise” my lil gay heart is delighted actually

And I mean, beyond that… (I’ll come back to it. I’m not done. But I need to give the rest of the plot its due as well.) I’ll admit, I got halfway through episode 5 and thought “how on earth are they going to wrap this up in the space of about an hour? I don’t have any of the answers at all.” I should never have doubted. I know I should never have doubted. But in my defence, who could’ve seen that coming? I hope Gabriel and Beelzebub are very happy together.

Oh, and the opening scene of episode 1? They knew each other when Crowley was an angel? (It does not suit him, but he did make a lovely galaxy.) And then at the very end, Aziraphale offering to make him one again? There’s some poetic symmetry or something in there that I don’t currently have the brain capacity to analyse

(I’m sitting in a tree now, in case anyone was wondering. I bailed on the field because there were humans in it. And by in a tree, I mean it is hollow and I am inside it. I couldn’t climb it even if I wanted to, it’s massive.)

It was worth the wait. It would always have been worth the wait, of course. It would have been worth the wait if it had taken 50 years although I’m not sure my heart would have been able to take the ending by then. And even though I want more already I hope they take all the time they need to make series 3 and make it well. (If they do not series 3 I will riot and given my general worldly (lack of) competence will probably injure myself in the process so they’d better get one.)

Of course no (rant? rave? gay breakdown?) post about Good Omens series 2 would be complete without giving Nina and Maggie my beloved all the respect they deserve. Especially Nina. You tell Crowley. He clearly needed it. You gay meddle right back in Aziraphale and Crowley’s love life, after all, they did gay meddle in yours.

And Aziraphale. Aziraphale. Darling. Angel. Please. Crowley does not want to go to heaven. His communication skills only stretch so far and only when prompted by other meddling gays. You both really need to learn the art of open communication sometime. It will solve a lot of these problems.

Oh, and! And! “I forgive you”? “I forgive you”? “I FORGIVE YOU”? Yeah just go ahead and break my heart as well as his why don’t you??? I have not yet seen what has become of my feed in the last 24ish hours because I had to go straight to writing this down somewhere but I imagine the entire fandom is feral right now OH MY GOD

This was amazing. It was all amazing. Saraqael was amazing. Jim was amazing. I’m struggling to come up with any other adjectives because my brain has been fried clearly

I would go and rewatch it all immediately but I need to form the semblance of a functional human being for this afternoon so I can go out into the world and do things. I will probably have rewatched it before the week is out.

I briefly considered watching this as soon as it came out (midnight UK time, meaning I’d finish at about 5 in the morning. I did this last time. It was an Experience) but decided against it since I had work in the morning. It was a wise decision since there is no way I’d have been able to go the day with no one to talk to about it and finishing it on a Saturday instead gave me the freedom to immediately go scream in a field.

Oh my god. This was one hell of a series. I cannot think coherently about it all I know is that I loved it.

And Neil, if you ever see this: Thank you. For all of it.

[commonpigeon]

castiel 🥕

first impression

i watched the show in like 2012 FOR destiel so the entire three seasons i was like where is this fucking GUY. but by the point season 4 rolled about i had fell into wincest so i was like okay well the angel is here now yaaay time to multiship and then destiel did literally fuck all for me. But i did find castiel cool and i liked how unfamiliar with humanity he was

impression now

i love early seasons cas i think hes so fun when hes powerful and a shithead and totally unfamiliar with social norms. they kind of ruined him for me when they gave him pop culture knowledge and it was even worse when they humanified him and gave him a JOB. hes a fucking angel hes an inhuman beastly spirit hes a WARRIOR why he is working at a fucking petrol station stop it right nooooow. but anyway hes still a great character. and obviously on my second and third rewatches over the decade ive come fully around to destiel

favourite moment

im the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition

when he sits on that bench gayly and talks about seeing humanity take its first steps on the beach

anytime he insults sam and calls him a bloodfreak or an abomination or whatever lol. why does he do that

when he kills like 1000 deans and whenever him and dean physical fight

idea for a story

somehow sam becomes castiels and vessel and then him (they?) and dean... well. you see where im going with this. fuck galadrel or whatever he was called

unpopular opinion

um later seasons castiel is much worse than early seasons castiel. giving him a son kind of sucked and idk why they did that. i get that the inhuman thing wouldnt work for 11 seasons but like the show so clearly didnt know what to do with him -__-

fav relationship

dean who else. dean fundamentally changed castiel its fucking insane. loving dean CHANGED an angel of the fucking looooord dean is just that good and interesting despite what he thinks about himself

i wish the angels were more compelling. i enjoyed him interacting with gabriel and some other angels but they couldve done more

headcanon

he is gay.

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 34-36

MTMTE 34

oh that's right it's not briefcase time just yet lmfAO Teebs has to die first

still unbelievably funny that the evil villain psychologist is named Froid. I mean it fits but also fucking lol

reading this big-ass wall of text makes me so sad, like. Megatron was right, he started off so strong, and then he had to go and do a genocide........

“If you can save someone, you should save them, You cannot put a price on life.” “The Functionists put a price on everything- And the moment you start to take more than you give- the moment you become a burden- they turn their back.” hey what if I scream so hard I turn inside out. Just for no reason in particular

Oh First Aid... he's trying so hard to be good, and he's right to be good, he doesn't know he's helping the wrong person

and he's right to try to stop once he learns exactly who he's healing too, poor guy's been put in yet another “kill one for the good of many” situations and I cannot at all blame him for bailing

and poor Teebs is also being so good, I can't blame him either. He was just trying to do the right thing, he didn't know it was gonna be the last thing he ever did...

urgh, Trepan altering Megatron's brain while he's still conscious is so fucked, no wonder he freaked the hell out when Chromedome got near him

man, poor First Aid, he was just trying to be a good medic...

NOW it's briefcase time

MTMTE 35

god the functionist universe is so skeevy, it's so fucked that this is what comes to pass if Megatron doesn't start the war

I do like that Chromedome and Rewind aren't just magically back to normal, they both went through so much and need time to process it all, even if Chromedome doesn't particularly want to. Poor guy managed to keep himself from erasing his memory via mnemosurgery while he was without Rewind but now it's like he's trying to sweep all that grief under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist now that they're together again. He wants things to go back to normal so badly, but they can't, you gotta build a new normal and that simply takes time

gfhdfsajk love Rodimus calling the DJD Megatron's “grotty little fan club,” he's right and he should say it

on the one hand, Megatron's breakdown at Brainstorm going back in time is very funny but on the other hand, like. Didn't you get used as a portal to a sentient and hypermalevolent alternate universe as part of a ploy to destroy the concept of time a few months ago? Not to mention the quantum duplicate ship you just helped deactivate. Why is this the one that's too much lmfAO

eueeEUEUGHFUGHEUGHG GOD THE LITTLE BLIP OF PROPAGANDA ON DOMINUS'S “FACE” MID-SENTENCE...

“There are certain words, Minimus- tiny words- important words- There are certain words you can't afford to lose.” pUNCHES THE ARM OF MY CHAIR GOD THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKED the functionist universe is so genuinely terrifying

this comic is really gonna make me watch Rewind die a second time

MTMTE 36

eeyyy it's Roller. Remember when everyone including me was convinced he was Tarn lmfAO I remember being SHOCKED when it wasn't him, Megatron said Tarn's real name and I was like “wHO???” so lemme pay closer attention this time

aww Chromedome feels betrayed too, Brainstorm is his friend........

“I love it when he talks history” gayass

love Megatron pouring his heart out to past Orion. This started out as me poking fun at Megatron for talking on the phone with his old flame like that fuckin vine of the dude giggling and sitting on the couch as gayly as possible like “Ryan~!” but then I got sad at how he's talking to a past version of his old flame back when he knew him at his best, almost letting himself indulge in the fantasy of pretending things never went so south with him before reigning himself back in

it's tragic but also really funny how Rodimus immediately breaks his own rule of not telling anyone anything about the future in an effort to save Trailbreaker, in fact he really did fuck that up almost immediately by trying to show Orion his Autobot badge lmAO

Rodimus saying the word “sus” just fuckign shattered my psyche immediately, one-hit KO lmfAO new discourse topic: how much do you think Rodimus would enjoy Among Us memes, discuss

I remember another theory about this issue was that the radiation that the senate is unleashing on the unborn sparks to create outliers was the reason why Rodimus has flamey powers since his spark was in that batch, thus making him secretly an outlier. I remember James Roberts explicitly debunking this one but. I like it and it changes nothing important so I'm just gonna keep that one for me lmAO

YEAH Roller disappears so the theory was that after Chromedome gave everyone the handshakes that erase their memory of the last few hours, they forgot that Roller was missing and took off without him, thus making him feel like he was abandoned and his resentment for Orion eventually turned him into Tarn

aww man, I'm sorry Roddy, you tried your best

[hyperfixationspam]

s2 finale liveblog

good morning sluts i am so fucking scared

hes in his meditation era

"idk a wave or something" babygirl i love you

OH THE DADDY ISSUES

STOP SAYING SIMPLE

SSHSHSKSHDJS POOR BABYGIRL HE WANTS TO BE ADOPTED SO BAD

SWEETHEART WHAT ARE YOU DOING

IS HE BEING MUTINIED FROM FISHING 😭😭😭

YEAH THEY ARE DICKS TELL EM BB

ZHENG IS FINE SHES IN THE TRAILER FUCK YOU

"britain never shall be slaves" 🫤 interesting choice of words

PETES POOR BALD HEAD 😭

JACKIE LOOKS SO SAD 😭😭

RICKY YOU BITCH MY ENEMY FUCK YOU

YOUR NOSE?? YOU FREAK

EWW YOU BITCH I HATE YOU

ZHENG!!!!!

OH GOD SHES HAVING FLASHBACKS

OH THIS IS WHERE THAT SCENE IS FROM

AUNTIE CANT BE DEAD NOO 😭😭😭

ZHENG BB GET UP PLS

STEDE!!!!

"or is it?" loser i love you

ZHENG HELL YEAH!!!!!

her fixing her pigtails 😭 shes so cute

ED POOR SWEETIE

OH. OK.

hes already added a third daddy to have issues about what an icon

YEAHHHHHHHH LETS FUCKIN GOOOOOO

SHUT UP RICKY FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

lmaooo izzy coming into "well actually 🤓☝️"

PINOCCHIO 😭😭 WE LOVE A CALLBACK

IZZY STOP WITH THE CANDLES

"the brains of this operation" 🤮🤮🤮 U RACIST BITCH

IZZY LORE???

HEY JACKIE. WHATS THAT. JACKIE

THE SOLDIERS READING THE LETTER NO NO NO NO

SOOOOOOOBS

ED READING THE ROMANTIC LETTER WHILE MURDERING THESE BITCHES 😭😭 I LOVE YOU

GNOSSIENE REMIX???

"WE WROTE OUR NAMES ON EACH OTHER" SHUT UPPPPPP

SWEET BABY

"you wrote me a lovely letter!!! 😡" why is he mad now shskdhskd

stede practically tripping over his own feet is so funny

NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME FOR OUR BEAUTIFUL ROMANTIC HERO TO STEP IN

YEAHHHHH

THE MUSICAL CALLBACK 😭😭😭😭

OH MY GOD ITS JUST LIKE HIS DREAM THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HEARTBREAKING AND STUPID AND LIFE SHATTERING

zheng being like "ok we need to hurry this up so you bitches can be gay" queen

THE LONG AWAITED FIGHTING TOWARDS EACH OTHER SCENE!!!!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAA

SWEETHEARTS 💕💕💕💕💕

KISSY!!!!!!!

"lifes a dick" real 😭

KISSY!!!!! THATS KISSY NUMBER FIVE NUMBER SIX IF YOU COUNT THE SECRET ONE

HE SAID IT!!!!!! HE SAID IT!!!!!!

bro hit him with the star wars reference 🫤

ZHENG 😭😭

wait has ed not met zheng??? i completely forgot

"shes super tough" "GUYSSSSS FUUUUUUUCK" i love her so much she is everything to me

"FOR LOOOOOVE" HAHAHAHA

"we need someone to pee on the shirt" hey im sorry what did i just walk into

AUNTIE!!!!!!!

"ive got plenty of blood" yeah i can see that

LMAOO THEM JUST CHILLING NEXT TO THE BODIES OF THE DEAD SOLDIERS

"oh you saw the flip ☺️" lmaooo

"i caught it 🥰" cuteeee

BABE!!!!!

"men have cost her too much" lore??? also me too bitch the fuck

"ur not a man" oh transgender? "ur soft" 🫤

"you dont do soft?? 😫" olu baby ily

izzy im scared for u pls stop taunting him

"because....." we're gay? "we're good" ok that works too

"you are a rancid syphilitic cunt 💅" iconic

"ooh theres a lot of them 🫤" stede saw his bf and forgot about strategy

OH SHIT SHE DID POISON THEM. WAIT FUCK WHO ELSE IS POISONED.

"is that us doing that" STEDE YOU DUMBASS 😭😭😭😭

wait theyre poison trained??? wtf 😭

"no!!!!! let me kill him 🥰" beautiful

bruh olu having to remind her to be nice 😭

"i am. proud. of you. 😐" so genuine 💞

ZHENG MY SWEETHEART MY SWEET GIRL

ASS SHOT?????? HELLO?????????

ok ur taking the outfits but who took the underwear too 😭😭

zheng lookin kinda 🥵🥵🥵

how are they all rocking this its a navy uniform its not supposed to look good

is frenchie wearing eyeliner hell yeah

ok yeah why did you trust ricky with that

DID. DID IZZY JUST GET SHOT. HELLO

why did olu grab that guy so intimately it looked like he was about to kiss him 😭

JIM IS JIM OK

OH GOD IZZYS ABOUT TO DIE ISNT HE. HES ABOUT TO BE WUZZY

OK AT LEAST JIM SEEMS FINE

OLU I LOVE YOU SILLY BOY

AUNTIE??????? NO NO NO

WHY IS LUCIUS RUNNING SO GAYLY 😭😭😭

izzys makeup he looks so close to death oh god

"SIT WITH ME EDDIE" FUUUUUUCK

"IM SORRY" GOD FINALLY

GOD HES FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGING IT. I CAN DIE IN PEACE. HOPEFULLY IZZY CAN TOO I GUESS

"it was us" FUCK FUXK FUCK FUXK FUCK FUUUUUCK

"i wanna go" OH MY GODDDDD

"youre my only family" "oh fuck off you twat" yeah thats the proper response 😭

"JUST BE ED" FUCKU FUXK FUCK FUXK

OH MY GOD. THE "THERE HE IS" PARALLEL. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

OH MY FUCKING GOD HE FUCKIN DEAD

congratulations to con o neill for doing the most convincing dead eyes ive ever seen thats a bit terrifying

STEDE PLEEEEASE GO GET YOUR MAN DONT JUST STAND THERE

OH THEYRE BURYING HIM HES LIKE DEAD DEAD NO RISING FROM THE GRAVE FOR HIM

ROACH GIVING THE MIDDLE FINGER SHSKDHSKF

"he was a fucking nightmare what a guy" spitting straight facts

"i think wed be good together. kick a lotta ass" hell yeah wlw mlm solidarity

oh shit rickys still alive i forgot 😭

"shes said enough" HAHAHAHAHA

WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING WEDING YES YES YES YES

fang are u ok

ED........ THOSE EYES........

MATEYS!!!!!!!!!!

ok fang is not ok pls get this boy some therapy

"or kiss or something" 😭

CUTIES!!!!!!!! HUSBANDS!!!!!! MATEYS!!!!!!! CUTIES!!!!!!!!!

NINA SIMONE HELL YEA

WAIT IS FRENCHIE FIRST MATE FOR REAL NOW

OH SHIT JACKIES HERE TOO. FOUND FAMILY UNION!!!!

sugarballs????? 😭😭😭

WAIT ED AND STEDE STAYED BEHIND OH FUCK

INNKEEPERS!!!!!!!

OH MY GODDDDDDD

BUTTONS??????

frenchie skinny legend

wait who pissed on the towel

WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO FOR S3 IF THEYRE BEHIND THO. LIKE IM HAPPY FOR THEM BUT WHAT ABOUT S3

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Read the manga, I beg of you

A long but incomplete list of things left out of/changed in the Moriarty the Patriot anime that Should Not Have Been. Spoilers but in a fairly general kind of way, tried to avoid being too specific for the most part.

1. I heard that there’s apparently some copyright issues with the James Bond storyline? So I suppose that’s a fair reason for it being trimmed way down. But still - Albert was M, running MI6, from Chapter 4. Mycroft and the MI6 plotline were introduced before Sherlock. It made the James Bond reveal have way more punch; Moran had already been established as 006, so you know to be like, “ooooh, who is 007?” 

It also explains a lot of how the Moriarty gang is able to pull off large-scale schemes: they have an entire frickin’ intelligence unit who just do what Albert says without asking questions. And Moneypenny! This series doesn’t have enough ladies (literally only Ms. Hudson, Mary, and Moneypenny off the top of my head after Irene dies?!) and then they dropped a whole woman from the anime?! Rude. 

2. The Baskerville arc is...extremely messed up. Definitely could see how people might want to skip it. But it does contain some serious character development, most notably:

         - Fred development (a precious smol bean)

         - William will go do vigilante murder sprees to defend the innocent even if it’s just tying up loose ends of a scandal they’ve already revealed, and will not actively drive The Plan forward

          - William has been deliberately keeping Louis out of actively participating in his schemes, hoping to keep him somehow unblemished, the only one of them worthy of entering the new world. Louis objects. Louis is also scary AF (ya love to see it). 

          - First hints of Moran backstory

3. William was not on the deck being smirky when Enders died; he was still in the theatre box, staring at Sherlock. 

4. Moneypenny and Moran stop a war and assasinate the queen’s cousin or uncle or something. It’s cool. Moran gets a fleshed out backstory. Also I think it’s interesting how there seems to be an understanding amongst the Moriarty gang that their secrets belong to William and he can do with them as he pleases; William tells Moneypenny Moran’s whole story and Moran just goes, “That jerk” and moves on with no drama about it. There's some good introspection from the gang on whether they’re any different than other groups that use the lives and deaths of others as tools.

Side note: Albert has such vibes of being Mycroft’s sugar baby in this arc 😂 He’s just sitting pretty in fancy rooms, hands folded gayly in his lap, smirking and going, “My husband told me I can kill whoever I feel like teehee”. 

5. On the train, William compliments Lestrade on his case-solving. Lestrade blushes. Sherlock hates that.

5. An extremely important conversation between Irene and Sherlock is left out. Like, foundationally important character clarification for Sherlock, where he slips up and gets serious and admits basically his entire goal in life is to turn crime-fighting into a science, into something where status and wealth have no bearing, only fact. It highlights the ways his worldview is not opposed to William’s, and also establishes that he doesn’t do all of this just because mysteries are fun and he’s bored, but because he really does care about justice. 

6. Chapter 31. Just...chapter 31. 

7. A crapload of little things between Sherlock and Liam in chapters 53-55.

8. Bond/Moneypenny and (imo) Bond/Ms. Hudson are both valid ships.

And so on and so forth. If all you've seen is the anime then pleeeease go read the manga! And then come scream about it with me!! 😁

[sapphoherselz]

which brings me to my next point...

love how Neil can always differentiate btw Andrew and Aaron even tho everyone else can't and I love IT, don't get me wrong...

but wouldn't it so much funnier if he also couldn't...

like, he stares gayly at whom he thinks is Andrew, ready for the one liners and the percentage and all of their intricate mating ritual but Aaron, who's very much not Andrew, just stares at him in utter disgust like why are you looking at me like that- no, wait don't look at me at all, you freak of nature

and then he goes to annoy the shit out of whom he thinks is Aaron in a idk throwing little balls of paper on him or kicking the chair he's sitting on and Andrew turns around with the most homicidal look in his eyes ???? and then Neil realizes his mistake and they go back to homotroning that bitch

me personally I love the headcanon that Andrew and Aaron have the same type, redhead, mouthy and all of that

but it would be so funny if their exes/past flings ALSO had those characteristics and they just...didn't notice

but it would me even FUNNIER if TILDA's man was a redhead

it's in their genes!!! it's their destiny!! they cannot escape it!!

[secretly-tword-obsessed]

6. “Tch! I have no weaknesses!” With lee Jay and ler Mathew please!! 💖

Achille's Heal

Fandom: Big Mouth

Summary: Matthew confided in Jay and teaches him an expression he'd never heard of.

This fanfiction is set after S5, where Jatthew has been canonised! (:

TW: Crying, Swearing(It is Big Mouth after all)

Jay was sitting in the middle of Ponytail Killer Park, (yes, that's what it was renamed), and waiting for his "friend" of one month, Matthew, to arrive. It was the one month anniversary of their "friendship", and they thought that they'd do something special to celebrate the February 1st occasion.

Jay had put some actual effort into getting food this time, and heaven forbid, he didn't steal it! He'd bought it with his own money, Jay's money; a long baguette, various jams, a box of chocolates and a bowl of fruit. And, of course, a turkey for eating.

Jay knew that this had to be a romantic, fun and sexy day. However, he was shocked to see Matthew walking up to him in tears.

"Oh my god, Matthew!", Jay remarked, running to Matthew's aid, "Babe, what happened?".

Jay held Matthew's hand and led him to the picnic rug, letting him rest his head on Jay's shoulder as they sat.

"My mum found out", Matthew sniffed, rubbing his hand to his nose.

"Found out what?", Jay asked, grabbing a non-magic handkerchief from his pocket.

"That we're more than friends Jay!", Matthew said.

"Ohhh", Jay responded in realisation, rubbing Matthew's back tenderly, feeling deeply for his favourite person.

"But wait, doesn't she already know your gay?"

"She does", Matthew responded, "But I didn't want her to know that I had a new boyfriend".

Jay didn't quite understand, but he still sympathised; and if Matthew was unhappy, Jay was unhappy.

Jay straightened his back and lifted his hand to make a point, "But why do you even care what your bitch-ass mom thinks anyway!".

Matthew sighed, "Because I love her so much. And she's my achilleas heel".

Jay's expression changed to one of confusion, "What's an achilleas heel?"

Matthew sat up straighter, (though he did so gayly).

"It's an expression. It means your one weakness."

"Oh, ok, interesting".

Matthew suddenly had a cheeky idea. He smirked, "What's yours?"

"My what?"

"Your achilleas heel".

Jay burst into laughter, as if Matthew had just said the funniest thing in the world, "Yeah right! Tch, I have no weaknesses!"

Matthew's heart fluttered. Oh, how crazy and childish his boyfriend was. He always somehow, intentionally or accidentally, managed to put Matthew in a good mood.

"Oh really?", he said, lowering his eyelids like he did when he was being playful, "Everyone has a weakness. Spiders, chewing sounds, maybe yours is magic!"

"No", Jay responded, "I mean, I guess it used to be, but not anymore".

Matthew laughed, "Used to be!" He leaned over and playfully poked Jay in the side, causing him to let out a squeaky giggly noise and shuffle away.

"H-hey", he chuckled, noticing the glint in Matt's eyes.

Matthew's cheeks glowed, "Ohhh, I know what your weakness is Jay!"

"Really? What is it?", Jay said, a little nervously.

"Remember our second kiss?"

Jay tried to recall it, "You mean under the bleachers in the gym?"

"Wow, I'm surprised your memory is that good", Matthew teased. "Anyway, after kissing for a few seconds, you pulled away. Do you remember why?"

Jay's brain twisted, he couldn't recall this one. "No?"

"You pulled away because my kisses were too ticklish for you!", Matthew concluded as if he was announcing an award at the Oscars.

"So?", Jay asked, still confused.

"SO, your ticklish Jay. That's your weakness!"

Jay's head perked in realisation, "Ohh, well I guess it is huh".

Matthew gave Jay a big push, causing him to role off the picnic rug and down the hill. He followed his rolling boyfriend with glee and met him at the bottom.

Jay lay on the ground and looked up at him, a flushed expression on his face.

"Oh, hey Matthew. What was that for?"

Matthew chuckled, "I'm going to tickle you!"

"What? Wait! Nohohoho!"

Jay started giggling and squirming around as soon and Matthew had sat on his stomach and began scribbling his fingers up and down his sides. Those sweet, soft giggles quickly turned into full blown belly laughs.

"NOHOHO! MAHAHTHEW! STAHAHAPIT!"

Matthew laughed, "Oh-ho-ho, and what a big weakness this is!"

Jay kicked his legs around and had an ear to ear grin, "NOHOHO, AHAHAHA! AHAHAHA!"

Jay rolled around a little, but Matthew had him mostly pinned. Jay's smile looked quite genuine, not just the smile that could come from a tickle attack.

"Oh, but you love this don't you", Matthew teased, poking gently into Jays highly ticklish ribs.

"AHAHAHA! NOHOHO I DOHOHON'T! SHUHUHUHUT UHUHUHUP!"

"Hey, your in no position to be rude to me mister", Matthew said, leaning down and blowing gentle raspberries on Jay's neck. This blew Jay up the wall.

"NOHOHO! NOHOHOT THEHEHERE! ANYWHEHEHEHERE BUT THEHEHERE!"

Matthew continued kissing, blowing raspberries and tickling Jay, and if it weren't for Jay's hysterical laughter, onlookers would have just thought they were making out. Speaking of onlookers...

"Matthew?"

Matthew stopped suddenly and looked up. It was the all too familiar face of his mother. His expression dropped quickly, and his face blushed in humiliation. He stood up.

"Uh, mum".

"Yes", Matthew's mother replied, "I know what your about to say. That you and Jay were just kissing. Yeah, yeah. But I just came here to let you know that-"

She sighed.

"If Jay makes you happy, than I guess that's what matters".

"Oh, mom", Matthew said, hugging his mother.

She still didn't really approve of her son's lifestyle, but she was happy that he was happy. In fact, she had never seen her son so happy in years.

"Oh, and Jay", his mother said, as she departed from the hug, "If you want to get my son back, his neck is a pretty bad spot".

Matthew's mouth dropped in betrayal; "Mum!"

"Oh, I'm just teasing Matthew! And you need to learn to take what you dish out".

Matthew's mom gave him one final kiss on the forhead.

"Oh, mom. I love you"

"I love you too".

"And as for me", Jay said, standing up, "I love revenge!"

Matthew squealed as he ran back up the hill, his chaotic boyfriend chasing after him.

"Tickler wolf!", Jay howled, managing to just catch Matthew before he spilled the pre-prepared apple juice boxes.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with laughter and magic.

But not Jay's magic; the magic of love. (Yeah, I know, corny).

At the end of the day, Jay's biggest weakness wasn't even his hyper-ticklish body, or his chaotic nature, or his pursuit of magic; it was Matthew.

[an-ungraceful-swan]

OKAY SO

psyche is pretty, like, really fucking pretty but nobody will marry her because she just too pretty. she’s also a princess btw. anyway, her parents ask the oracle who will psyche marry, and the oracle says she’ll marry a monster. and lets remember shit like the minotaur right mow.

also beforehand, people started worshiping her over aphrodite, the goddess of love and beauty. aphrodite did not like that so she sends eros down to make psyche fall in love with a monster, but psyche is so pretty eros accidentally stabs himself with the love arrow and falls in love with psyche

so her parents leave her of a cliff for her monster husband. zephyr, the west wind (?) takes her to a palace where there’s no servants besides invisible wind spirits. then her husband comes back at night and he’s invisible too. psyche is fine with this because a) her husbands actually kinda nice and b) she lives in a fucking palace. only rule is she can never see her monster husband.

then later her sisters come to visit and it’s safe to say they’re more than a little jealous. they tell her to look and see if her husband is really a monster. she does because idk, psyche’s smart but kinda dumb here. she takes a candle and a dagger and looks at her husband while he’s asleep to see if he’s a monster.

she learns he is in fact not a monster, but fucking eros. she regrets not trusting him and goes to leave put some hot wax falls onto eros and he wakes up. and it’s safe to say seeing your wife standing over you with a knife isn’t going to make you happy so he nopes on out of there fueled on ‘how could you betray me’ juices.

anyway aphrodite is pissed. she kidnaps psyche and makes her do a bunch of tasks, psyche is also pregnant at this time so this is even more of a dick move at this point. eros is most likely in the background going, ‘mom no, that’s still my wife’. psyche is real depressed because she actually loved her husband but animals keep completing the tasks for her.

her last task is to go and collect some on persephone’s beauty, whatever the fuck that is. she does and she also explains her predicament to persephone, who is presumably sitting there forcing a smile and says ‘oh, okay’ as psyche talks. she gives psyche a box of her beauty and psyche goes off to give it to aphrodite.

this is when psyche makes her biggest mistake and sees she looks like shit. she opens the box to freshen up but lo and behold it wasn’t beauty in the box it was the fucking essence of death. now eros is exceedingly pissed at his mom, who is presumably going ‘oh shit’ at this point.

eros goes and begs zeus to make psyche immortal so she can you know, not die. zeus complies, even going beyond and making psyche a goddess, presumably just for fucking with aphrodite. psyche becomes the goddess of the soul and loves happily ever after with eros.

also their daughter is voluptas, the goddess of pleasure and delight. so yeah. that’s the myth. yes, i have an obsession with greek mythology. i’ve been fixated on and off since third grade

I love this myth

Essentially Sophie is psyche and Biana is gayly jealous so she sends glimmer to get dirt on Sophie and they fall in love but glimmer is kind Of hiding/doesn’t tell Sophie who she really is and Sophie tries to find it and glimmer cuts it off so Sophie goes to Biana and they fight and gay gay gay

[qqueenofhades]

Everytime I read "Nicolo di Genova" my brain glitches and I read "Nicolo do Genovia" instead so /whispers/ Kaysanova Princess Diaries AU?

...yes. Did someone say Gay Champagne Romcom? Because that is my Brand.

Nicolò is an Italian-American graduate student living in New York City with his widowed Italian mother and working on an engineering degree at NYU. He was thinking about joining the priesthood for a few years and recently dropped out of seminary and is feeling that Millennial Crisis that all of us know about. He has gone on a few Tinder/Grindr dates, but it’s hard enough to meet someone in this city even when you’re not a gay ex-priest engineering student living in his mother’s rent-controlled apartment in Morningside Heights because have you seen the property prices in New York. Plus WHENEVER he brings a nice boy home, HEY PRESTO there’s his mom waiting eagerly up in the front room, “NICOLÒ WHO IS THIS HANDSOME YOUNG MAN, DOES HE HAVE GOOD PARENTS, IS HE A CATHOLIC NICOLÒ” and of course that instantly kills any kind of romantic mood. Nicolò is like “let’s just go over to yours PLEASE.” But he tends not to see his dates again anyway, and it’s equally depressing, and it’s nice that his mom isn’t homophobic or anything, but he’d like to just meet someone without his mother instantly planning the Big Fat Gay Italian Wedding, and yes he knows this is a nice problem to have but STILL

Anyway, then of course the Dead Dad Circus rolls into town, and Nicolò learns that he’s not actually the son of a nice hardworking Italian immigrant, but of His Serene Highness Prince Domenico Grimaldi of Genovia, who wouldn’t you know it, has recently died too young from cancer and left no legitimate heir except the result of his rebellious teen fling with a cocktail waitress in Capri – which would be, you guessed it, Nicolò. While Nicolò is still processing the horrifying mental image of his mother being a cocktail waitress in Capri and having to look up Genovia on a map, the rest of the royal machine is kicking into overdrive. This involves a very awkward meeting in a very fancy Manhattan hotel with Nicolò’s magnificent but rather out-of-touch royal grandmother, Her Serene Highness The Queen Mother Maria Elisabetta Henrietta Julia Victoria Mignonette Grimaldi of Genovia. She’s basically Julie Andrews because obviously. She informs Nicolò of his Solemn Duty to return to Genovia and become Prince Nicolò and eventually be prepared to take the throne and submit to a fascinating life of minor European royal family ribbon-cutting duties. Oh, and getting married and producing more heirs to the throne, on pain of breaking a thousand-year-old bloodline, though she doesn’t say this out loud. Her loyal right-hand man, driver, and general bodyguard/fixer/man about town, Sebastien le Livre aka Booker, gives Nicolò various sympathetic looks but does not interrupt.

Nicolò obviously freaks out and runs off to call up his best friend at NYU, Andy. Andy is some indeterminate degree of years older than him, in some indeterminable stage of her Classics PhD, and sometimes says weird things like how badly the Library of Alexandria had already been defunded by the Roman emperors before it finally burned, like she was there and holds a personal grudge about it. She is a cranky vodka-drinking lesbian who rides a motorcycle, gets them into periodic scrapes, and understands his shit dating life. She deeply empathizes with all his “I’m not going to run away and leave my life in New York to become part of some creakingly antique regressive imperial monarchic system of racist and homophobic oppression, NO SIR!” Fight the power, Nicolò. Fuck those guys.

Of course, however, Julie Andrews Grandmother Maria prevails and Nicolò is forced to take Prince Lessons, which he hates but tries to be a good sport about, because, well, he’s Nicolò and he’s a good person. He is then whisked off on a private plane to Genovia, because they want to see him in situ before they make a final decision on accepting him as their prince. There of course we have the high-life palaces and parks and snooty clueless aristocrats who look at Nicolò like he’s a prize racehorse and have absolutely zero clue, none, nada, about the real world. Just as Nicolò is about to firmly decide that this is a complete crock of shit and he’s going back to NYU, he meets….

Prince Yusuf “call me Joe” al-Kaysani.

Joe is a minor member of one of the Middle Eastern royal families, some fictional tiny Gulf kingdom that is super SUPER oil rich. He has a title and a lot of money but doesn’t have a clearly defined role in the family, other than that he’s been ordered not to embarrass it. Nicky does not know this when they first meet, but obviously it’s not possible to be an out gay prince in a conservative Arabian-peninsula Islamic kingdom, and therefore the fixers have arranged for Joe to be publicly dating a daughter of the Malaysian sultan, Quynh. (We are making her Malaysian in this instance so she can also be Muslim and hence an appropriate match for Joe.) Except Princess Quynh is also hella lesbian and is getting the same thing out of the fake dating with Joe that he is, i.e. throwing people off the scent of their real selves. They spend their time together in private eating popcorn, commiserating about their lives and crazy royal families and the press invading their privacy, watching romcoms, and Judging the Straights. They’re actually best friends and text each other all the time, so at the royal function where Joe runs into the stiff and nervous and clearly overcompensating New Guy who’s evidently the New Prince of Genovia, and oh my god Q he’s the Most stuck up person I’ve EVER MET, Quynh is the first to hear ALL about it. She immediately suspects that Joe doth protest too much.

Meanwhile, Nicky meets Nile Freeman, another young American (from Chicago, obvs) who is working at some important EU institution currently headquartered in Genovia. They also hit it off and Nile tells Nicky about the things she wants to do to help change the world and why she’s here, and he is moved by her kindness and altruism and remembers that that was what he wanted too, and why he joined the priesthood in the first place. He opens up to her about the shock of learning the truth about his now-dead dad and the crazy whirlwind he’s been sucked into and how he doesn’t know what to do, and their friendship is beautiful and we love it.

Meanwhile, of course, Nicky and Joe keep running into each other and getting on each other’s nerves, Nicky is thisclose to calling up Booker and ordering him to deport Joe because why is he always here (Booker, of course, will eventually become a secret ally in helping them see each other, but that is not quite yet). There is some Shenanigan where they end up both getting into trouble, Grandmother Julie Andrews is not amused, and finally they are forced to sit next to each other for a whole state dinner and Be Polite, because Genovia is trying to forge better relations with Joe’s kingdom. (Genovia is tiny, ancient, and broke, Joe’s kingdom has obviously a ton of money, there are old historical ties between them, some Genovians traveled to the kingdom in the past, Genovia’s trying to improve its human rights record and take in more refugees, etc. Nile is also helping with this last). So Nicky and Joe get ordered to fake a highly convincing bromance and pretend they’ve been best buddies all along (think Red White and Royal Blue) and that means they have to actually learn about each other and spend time together and ugh, he’s a spoiled rich playboy brat, and ugh, he’s a clueless American who thinks he’s better than us, and…

Oh no.

Yes, of course they fall in love, they deny it as hard as they can, Nile and Quynh and Booker are all increasingly exasperated by their attempts to pretend they’re not, and finally they kiss and make love and admit their feelings and that they want to be together. Then of course they get outed by some scheming evil cabinet minister (Merrick) who doesn’t want Nicky to become king and disapproves of him dating (gasp) a MUSLIM WHO IS ALSO A MAN, and there’s a huge scandal and a ton of drama and the usual Romcom Breakup Angst as they decide whether they can still see each other. Andy flies out to Genovia to comfort Nicky, Booker has a Word With The Queen, and Joe hides in his room until Quynh (along with Nile, who she’s met and hit it off with) appears to tell him that he has to be brave, she’ll help.

Anyway, etc etc., Drama, “I love him no matter what, if you don’t accept him you don’t accept me and your STUPID BLOODLINE CAN CHOKE” speeches from Nicky, Julie Andrews sees the light, they decide that Nicky and Joe can keep seeing each other, and it’s all rather sweet. There’s a lot of public relations to be managed and whether Joe’s family is going to disown him and what this will mean for the whole international relations thing, but… one thing at a time.

Nicky agrees to become Prince of Genovia as long as he can be with Joe, Joe decides that hey, he likes Nile too and there’s plenty of meaningful work to be had here and the three of them can join forces to do good things and he’s going to stay, and the Genovian public obviously comes around and loves them. Nobody can find Princess Quynh. It’s rumored she ran off to America with a cranky vodka-drinking PhD student of indeterminate age and was last seen on the back of a motorcycle heading west.

Everyone lives happily and gayly ever after.

The End.

[funsizedcrow]

I did make those fake season memes!! Im glad that they inspired someone to make something bc I kinda gave up on my idea for it lol. Maybe one day I'll get back to it

I did find the doc where I wrote some stuff for it though! The first 3ish episodes of said potential fake season! I put it under the cut

-

(We open on iris, a snowy planet. Ohio is sitting in a base, throwing a table tennis ball across the room, catching it off the bounce.)

(Cut to iowa looking at a neighboring  base. Idaho is next to him.)

Iowa: hey

Idaho: yeah?

Iowa: you ever wonder why we’re here?

(sound of a ship landing.)

(Ohio comes running up to the top of the base.

Ohio: what the hell was that?

Iowa: a ship

Ohio: are you sure? You’re not just hallucinating again?

Iowa: probably

(Ohio sighs)

Ohio: give me the sniper rifle

(ohio looks through the sniper rifle)

Ohio: holy shit, that is a ship! And there's a person walking out of it!

(They run down to where the ship has landed. Sherry, Darryl, and Terril are already there. Ohio and Sherry glare at each other gayly, before turning back to the ship)

(The doors open, and everyone holds their breath. A figure steps out.)

Ohio gasps dramatically.

Ohio: 479er?!

(Ohio’s tone turns angry)

Ohio: you’re the one who brought us here!

479er blinks. Then sighs

479er; well fuck.

(end of episode one)

(episode 2 opens with 479er sitting in blue team’s base.

479er: so you’ve been…fighting each other this whole time?

Idaho: yeah, until we got bored, and called a truce for a while

Iowa: they had movies

Idaho: yeah, five of them. Which we have watched about a thousand times each

Ohio (wistfully) yeah… (her tone grows more serious) but that didn’t last.

Idaho: yeah. The truce ended when Terril decided it would be a good idea to toilet paper our base

Iowa: toilet paper is a very limited resource

479er: huh. 

479er: I am sorry, you know. It was pretty shitty of me. But I had orders.

479er: to be honest though, you should be glad you left the project before…

Ohio: before what?

479er: Before everything. Lets just say that things turned to shit pretty quickly.

Iowa: Is..Wash okay?

Ohio: and connie?

479er: Wash is…he’s better now. I think. And connie….

479er: she’s dead. 

Ohio (quietly) oh.

479er: yeah. Georgia's dead too, or missing, at least. And South.  Most of the top agents. 

Ohio: oh.

Idaho: So why’d you come here, anyway?

479er: I’m on the run. Wanted for crimes commited while working for Freelancer.

479er: it turns out they did a whole lot of shit that even I didn’t know about.

479er: this planet was isolated. Isn't even on most maps.

Ohio: yeah, we. Kind of figured that out.

Ohio: are you going to stay here?

479er: No offense, but this place kind of sucks. 

Ohio: yeah. I think that was kind of the point. Why we were sent here.

479er: right. But, I think I’m going to head out to another planet. TIt originally had a lot of research going on, promising alien artifacts were found. But something happened, and now it's been mostly forgotten by the unsc. 

479er: I could..take you with me. If you want.

Ohio: (hopeful) that would be great!

Ohio: you should bring sherry and the others too.

479er: I thought you hated them?

Ohio: (laughs) hate, sure. But they don't deserve to stay here. 

Idaho: you don’t want to leave sherry behind

Ohio: hahaha what? No, I'm just. Being a decent fucking person

Idaho: uh huh. Sure.

Idaho: you know, vera, subtlety is not one of your strengths.

Iowa: shooting is! And watercolor

Iowa: and being in love with sherry.

Ohio: okay, thats enough.

479er: (holding back laughter) alright, they can come.

(end of episode 2)

(episode 3 opens with ohio knocking on red bases door)

Darryl opens the door)

Darryl: oh, it’s you.

Darryl: are you here to give us another ‘present.”

Ohio: no

Ohio: Get Sherry. I’ve found us a way off of this shithole of a planet.

(Sherry shows up)

Sherry: You what?

Ohio: the person from the ship, 479er. She’s a pilot from project freelancer. And she’s taking us to a planet called Chorus.

(cut to all six of them sitting in the ship)

Sherry: so, chorus, huh?

Ohio: yep. Apparently all the inhabitants cut off connection with the unsc years ago.

Sherry: You know, ever since I got here, I’ve been waiting to leave. But now that we’re going, I think I’m going to miss the planet. Whatever its name is

Ohio: I always called it Deep Freeze. 

Ohio: But, yeah, I think I'm going to miss it too.

Iowa: I won’t miss the ice spiders!

does anyone have any aus or ideas that involve the triplets and or sherrys squad that they wanna talk to me about (please pelase pleasepleadeplaeasepleasepleaspleaspelple