#he should get revenge on everyone who works at that asylum then burn it down. and also a kiss on the head and warm cocoa

[drowningparty]

Anyway, fuck Dr Seward. He took away Renfield's agency, never showed him respect, and encouraged his delusions b/c he saw Ren as a novelty he could use to "advance [his] own branch of science" (90) if he made a study of him. Renfield comments on this when he stops eating live animals, saying Seward will need to get himself a new patient with zoophagy (320), b/c he knows that's all Seward wants — an interesting case study, not to sincerely help him.

Seward regularly puts Renfield in a straitjacket, chains him to a padded wall despite his awful cries (127), has his staff hurt him, and still has the audacity to think Ren should view him as a friend when he views Ren as nothing but a "pet lunatic" (179). And Ren does call him a friend, words dripping with sarcasm, but the sarcasm goes over Seward's head, he's such an egotist. He doesn't even get, when Ren says: "They think I could hurt you! Fancy me hurting you!" (132) it's b/c Seward's the one with all the power, hurting him.

Renfield's powerless in that asylum. He can't seriously hurt anyone. Seward just doesn't see himself, or his actions, as abusive. But he doesn't view his patients as fully-rounded people. It doesn't matter who they were before they came to him. Renfield's life before his delusions? Never comes up in his entries. Who he could be after he left, if his condition were managed? Irrelevant. All Seward sees is a case study that could make him famous. If he actually cared about his patients welfare, he'd have listened when Ren came to him in distress.

Ren only served Dracula b/c he took advantage of him, a desperate, lonely, delusional, queer, mentally ill older man who had once been respected by his peers before losing everything, and fed his fixed idea. A man who no one would believe. A man who would be easy to kill once he'd served his purpose. A man who wouldn't be missed, if he disappeared. Men like that disappear all of the time.

Seward saw the danger Renfield was putting himself in by meeting Dracula alone, but didn't stop him. When Ren tells him he'll die if he isn't sent away, Seward refuses to help. Renfield wanted to escape. His death wasn't a 'sacrifice,' that implies it was his choice to stay & die for someone he hardly knows. If Seward answered his prayers, Renfield would have fled and saved himself. He'd have neither helped nor stopped Dracula. B/c he wanted to live! He was in love with life! His entire monomania revolved around the desire to live by any means necessary, even stealing what hours he believed the lifeblood of a fly could give him! Instead, Seward kept him trapped in his cell, and left him to be murdered like a rat in a cage. A tragedy that could have been avoided if anyone had simply listened to him!

[forevercloudnine]

arkhamverse riddlebat ship meme

(Continuing with the questions that @heroes-etc​ picked out for me, this set being from this ship meme.)

3. who is more afraid about the other leaving them?

Edward, hands down. Arkhamverse Riddler is maybe the neediest take on the character I’ve ever seen. Which is saying something, because the panel from “Questions Multiply the Mystery” where he writhes around on the floor begging for attention is permanently burned into my mind. He also clearly doesn’t take rejection well, as evidenced by the graffiti in his cell shown in a promotional image for Arkham Asylum (2009). J'ai aimé, j'ai souffert, maintenant... je hais. “I loved, I suffered, now I hate.”

It didn’t make it into the game proper (too subtexty, maybe, given a general lack of non-Batman people this could be referring to), but from my perspective it might as well have, since I experienced all the games second hand by sitting on the couch next to my brother while he swore at the Riddler challenges. Anyway, if perceived rejection has you writing French poetry on your cell wall in what looks concerningly like bodily fluids, then you probably won’t deal well with the concept of actually being dumped.  

5. who is more likely to drunkenly confess?

Also Edward, given that he’s calling Bruce every five minutes. And if he’s not calling Bruce directly, he’s talking ABOUT Bruce in a public broadcast to all of Gotham. Eddie is the king of freudian slips sober, so one can only imagine what he would say in vino veritas. If he does get drunk, let’s hope for his sake that he opts to communicate through his private line to Batman rather than over every screen in Gotham.

6. who is more likely to push the other away (for any reason)?

Bruce, also hands down. Arkham Knight really goes out of its way to hammer in that Batman’s callous treatment of Riddler has wreaked havoc on Edward’s psyche, even if arguably Eddie had it coming. Riddler’s mole in the GCPD talks about this:

JT Walker: It used to be funny, you know [...] And then one day, it just wasn't funny anymore. It was pathetic. He stopped taking care of himself, got that crazy look in his eyes. I swear man, he's broken. You broke him.

Bruce’s subconscious gets a dig in on this topic via Joker hallucination. 

“Joker”: Good for you, Bats! Eddie doesn’t need help. No, no, no. Beat ‘em up. Lock ‘em up. That’s the best medicine. 

Even my brother, who would attempt to stab Arkhamverse Edward in the face War-of-Jokes-and-Riddles style if the games let him, felt guilty on Bruce’s behalf when Eddie started ranting about his photographic memory. 

Riddler: I can summon your sneering features at will. That is, when they don't burst unbidden into my brain [...] I can remember every time you've hurt me. Sometimes I wake up, Dark Knight, to the feel of your hands around my neck, your carbon fiber created fists smashing my solar plexus. 

I think because of this trait, one of the only ways this ship would work in Arkhamverse is if they came to an agreement during Arkham Origins (since Edward is... more or less... a vigilante in that game, albeit one that Bruce considers distasteful), well before their relationship gets to where it is in Arkham Asylum. The other way is if Bruce actually took the lesson Arkham Knight hammered over his head and tried to fix the damage done after faking his death. (In my mind there exists a many chaptered fanfic where after Batman “disappears” he moves to the second Batcave the games put under Arkham Asylum and takes on Joker’s “Eric Border” persona from the comics to become an orderly there. Whether it’s scarebat or riddlebat varies depending on my mood, but what’s consistent no matter what is that I have five WIPs on ao3 and I can’t write it until I finish at least one of them).  

7. who picks fights more often?

Obviously Arkhamverse Edward is the most irritating person who has ever lived, so he kind of wins by default. But Bruce definitely holds his own in instigating unnecessary conflict with loved ones in this continuity. I’ll cut him some slack during Arkham Knight because one could argue that he spends most of the game half-possessed by an evil clown ghost, but it’s not like he’s much better in ANY of the other games. The bit in Arkham City where he lies to Talia’s face about being willing to spend the rest of his life with her so that she’ll give him access to the Lazarus Pit — even though if he was just honest and asked for it she probably would have helped him anyway, given that she DIES protecting him in the climax — is probably the best example of how he will infuriate people who love him for no logical reason. It’s a symptom of the post traumatic hyper vigilance, probably.

So if Edward did get the closeness to Bruce that his subconsciousness seems to be gunning for, he could look forward to the physical violence and public humiliation being replaced with the same well-intentioned gaslighting and emotional manipulation Bruce gives everyone but Alfred in these games. Actually, is Alfred the only one who’s even aware that he’s alive after Arkham Knight? Bruce, please tell your kids that you aren’t a pile of ash in the crater that used to be Wayne Manor.

9. who is more likely to withhold their feelings for the other?

The obvious answer is Bruce, because he keeps his emotions locked in a lead box buried like twenty feet beneath the floor of the Batcave (probably along with a bunch of kryptonite, since Superman is flying around the Arkhamverse somewhere). But honestly Bruce doesn’t seem to have a problem getting it on with supervillains in this continuity. He and Talia chat pretty casually about a recent romantic rendezvous in Metropolis when they meet in Arkham City. His emotional distance from Selina in Arkham Knight seems less like him withholding his feelings from her, and more like him not being over Talia’s death (or Joker’s, which... the narrative certainly focuses on more than Talia’s...). 

So I think Edward would actually be more likely to withhold his feelings for Bruce. Even if Bruce approached him first, he’s too obsessed with the possibility of Bruce humiliating him to take any positive interaction (especially a romantic overture) at face value. 

Riddler: You left me battered and demeaned in Arkham City. I am the Riddler, Batman. I don't suffer humiliation. I pay it back.

He’s not really wrong, either. Batman does humiliate him in Arkham City (by misleading Edward into thinking he’d let him die, no less); it’s the same embarrassment Edward inflicts on his own victims, so it’s not like he doesn’t deserve it per se, but it’s definitely not Bruce taking the higher ground.

Sticking him in his own trap is pretty vindictive, and Riddler’s weird commentary about not letting Batman have bathroom breaks during his revenge trials in Arkham Knight hints that Cash and the other guards might have made his (clearly unlawful!) punishment even more humiliating than we see on screen.

Riddler: Rule the seventh. Bathroom breaks will be administered on a discretionary basis. Should we find ourselves at a pivotal moment in your arduous journey to self-realization and defeat, I expect you to hold it in. Rule the eighth. Any accidents resulting from my strict enforcement of the seventh rule are to be considered your fault entirely. 

So would Edward withhold his feelings for Batman? Yeah, probably. And it would probably take a lot of time and effort for Bruce to convince Edward that any feelings on his part weren’t just an attempt to humiliate Riddler further.     

[atopearth]

Collar X Malice Part 2 - Okazaki Kei Route

I wonder how Okazaki's route will go, since instead of focusing on a case, Ichika  wants to broadly focus on her reason for being a police officer, namely to protect people. Anyway, other than it being sad to see Mineo rather cold after his super cute and sweet route, I also find it saddening that we have to start all over again with Kazuki and their strained relationship😭 Anyway, Yoshinari is a pretty funny guy, he's like Mineo, capable but silly lol. I guess it's convenient that Okazaki will wake up when he hears a gun taken out of its holster lol. But yeah, it was obvious that Okazaki knew who Ichika was, there's no way they could have hidden that. Anyway, Okazaki saving her from a bunch of guys and then holding her hand was cute. I think he's right that even if it feels weird at first, to feel someone's warmth when you're scared really helps to kinda calm you down. Well, okay, Ichika is pretty ridiculous. Lol, like I can forgive her for trying to rush into a raging fire to help someone the first time but for her to try a second time?? I'm glad Okazaki shouted at her because that was beyond reckless. She has no protection, no plan, no idea of anything and she wants to save someone that's at the centre of a blazing fire? Even if she's panicking, that's pretty crazy. Not to mention that this was a park, she really should have focused on helping people around her who could be injured or feeling sick from the smoke etc. Anyway, Okazaki helped her come to her senses so she really should thank him for saving her life tbh. I know Ichika is inexperienced but I feel like this incident made it seem like what she lacks is common sense instead, but I'll give her the benefit of doubt since someone was burning to death in front of her, and that's difficult to accept and endure knowing there's nothing she can do.

I honestly feel terrible for Sugawara. I can't imagine how frightening it must be for her to be stalked for such a long period of time with no one to help her, and then having the guy wanting to kill her and himself, that's pretty crazy and I feel so sorry for her. I can see why she would trust anyone who saved her from this situation when the police obviously didn't. Omggg, there were two stalkers?! I can't imagine her frustration and fear to be relieved from one stalker (since they got arrested) and then end up being stalked again, like seriously that's absolutely crazy and I don't think any person could handle that. Okazaki pulling his gun out against Ichika (after finding out about her collar) was pretty dramatic. Seems like the memory erasing thing happens to everyone who gets captured? Anyway, I honestly felt so bad for Sugawara when she felt that being imprisoned as a criminal was better than going home and getting stalked again, it's just so saddening.. I think it was really cool and strong of Ichika to tell Okazaki to shoot her if he ever believes that she is causing things to go wrong in the investigations, it's like she's leaving her life in his hands knowing that he will make the "correct" decision. I've always admired Ichika's determination. I do feel bad for Okazaki though. Reporting Ichika to his superiors or not is a difficult decision, especially considering how seriously he takes his job. I think Ichika's thoughts really hit the nail on the head on why I just don't feel on board with her and Okazaki together. Like yeah, they're cute but I agree with her that it doesn't feel like Ichika exists in the depths of his heart, rather he is looking for something from or inside her hoping that she has it because of the "kind" person she is, and yeah apparently he's found it and wants to protect her and believe her, but I just can't help but feel that he's not really looking at her for her?

Okazaki's texts are so cute with the emojis lmao. It's also sweet how they share tidbits of their everyday life with each other. HAHAHA, I nearly died from laughter when Okazaki talked about how his robot vacuum "ran away" and never came home because he left his front door open😂😂 Okazaki buying Ichika flowers first thing in the morning to try and cheer her up from her lack of progress with the recent X-Day case was so sweet. Anyway, I have to agree with Mochida, it's really frustrating to be practically the complaint hotline department for the X-Day incidents but know nothing of the progress or results to properly reassure the public. Like literally, all they do is try and soothe people and their anger but have nothing to really inform them about, it's like they made this department just to have some people take the brunt of the complaints so others can work "easier". 

I didn't think that the rough looking guy that's a part of Adonis was actually a policeman before! Doesn't help that he looks pretty different from his photo that's at least 5 years ago... I feel like that's so saddening though, like one superior ruined so many young cops lives. Honestly, hearing that one of them has been in a mental asylum for years, and the other one left the country and never came back really kinda shows how traumatised they were by whatever happened with that "bad" cop guy that died. I feel so terrible for Sanjou and all those rookie cops Todoroki crushed mentally and physically with abuse. They all desired to be a policeman to protect people and all had dreams they wanted to fulfill, and they all endured because they believed in their justice and protection, but in the end the only thing they got was injustice and hatred from the people they tried to protect because of Todoroki's mistakes. Honestly, no matter how meaningful my job is, I don't think I could endure all that, so I'm not surprised Sanjou has resorted to becoming who he is. Sure, he's going against his principles back in the day by hurting people, but even though a part of him is still there, at the same time, he's definitely tired of everything. The thought of the moment he finally broke really tore me because thinking about all he endured is painful. On the other hand, it's interesting he thinks that Adonis can replace the police itself since really Adonis in other routes and kinda here is wrought with problems and people who are reckless and don't really have a clear goal aside from revenge. Unlike him, most of the people besides the leaders don't care about making society "better" because they're focused on their own pain and justice for themselves. Not that they're wrong to do that since Adonis chose them for that reason, but it's also because of that that Adonis is a mess that won't be a rebirth of a proper version of the "police".

I don't know if any sane person would really chase after Sanjou when Ichika's recklessness got Okazaki injured, and she's definitely useless in a battle without him, not to mention tending to his wounds are probably more important right now lol. I mean, it's not like I don't understand Takaeda's position and the need to quell the anger of the public with how incapable the police have been in stopping the X-Day crimes etc, but can't he at least be a bit more subtle with how dodgy he wants to be? Lol. Who parades around telling moralistic police officers like Morioka and Minegishi to just arrest all the suspects and not care about concrete evidence or solid alibis??? Like yes, these actions will totally make the public think you're great the moment anyone complains and this comes to light lol, like seriously. It's such a silly short term fix to the problem that I have no idea how he even thought it would be a good idea. Honestly, I would be pretty mad if I was Ichika and Okazaki said he wanted to die protecting her since he's looking for a meaningful way to die. Like excuse me?? I knew the whole protecting thing wasn't really about her even though he liked her to an extent, but I would be so annoyed if someone was "using" me like that. Sure, she needs someone to protect her and it's perfect since he doesn't really care about his life, but it's frustrating to think that in the end, how much does he really care since it's like he was just looking for someone that's kinda nice but at high risk of dying? Loll. It's like she as an individual was never really in the picture for him. I know he doesn't mean it maliciously but yeah... Something nice to see in this route is Kazuki reaching out and caring for Ichika himself because he was worried about her getting hurt, it was cute how he told her to take a day off because she's an underling anyway so it doesn't matter if she goes to work or not🤣 It was also nice to see them properly communicate by themselves, however I do think that the only reason this is happening so smoothly is because they want to get this part out of the way loll.

Anyway, Okazaki's inability to understand Ichika kinda pisses me off but Ichika isn't really communicating when he doesn't understand, so they're both wrong lol. However, I hate it when people apologise without understanding why they're wrong, like it's cool to apologise for hurting the other person, but it's not cool when you're going to insist on what the other person is mad about, so really, you might as well not apologise and instead try to communicate about the problem instead. Also, I feel sorry for Sasazuka and them, they're trying to solve the X-Day cases and here are Ichika and Okazaki having a lovers quarrel, I'm honestly glad they told them to get out and come back later because they're definitely useless to the investigations right now. I also don't really care for how Okazaki suddenly "realised" he likes Ichika and just straight out publicly confessed to her, because I personally don't feel it lol but other than that, I'm not fond of love confessions like these lol. I think what annoys me the most is Okazaki's flippant attitude as if nothing is wrong and it's not a big problem? Like he's handling it in his own way and I'm sure he's serious about it but the way he does it just pisses me off. I liked the way he was in the beginning but I guess when it comes to conflicts, his attitude is one of the worst to handle. Yoshinari is such a sweet guy, I don't know why but I feel like he's dodgy loll. Anyway though, sorry if I'm wrong, Yoshinari!

Anyway, hearing Okazaki's story really helped me understand him a bit better. Personally, the bit where he said rather than guilt for causing his colleague's death, he was more scared of dying the same way as his colleague in such a "meaningless" death kinda clicked with me. Maybe it sounds really derogatory and negative to myself, but for a long time, I've felt something similar to Okazaki in a sense, like I wouldn't actively look for danger like him, but if I were in a life threatening situation with my family or friends, I would hope that I'm the one who would die protecting them rather than the other way around. It's just, when you feel like your life is meaningless but others' lives have "value", it's hard to not think that you would want them to be the one to survive rather than yourself. So honestly, it's kinda funny to relate to Okazaki a bit even though he's been such a frustrating character to me lol. At least now I can see why he's so persistent on finding a meaningful way to die, because I think he's right, if I was going to die some way or another, I would want to die saving someone important to me. It was really cute how Ichika kept trying to show him that if he died, he wouldn't be able to eat such delicious food or watch the next part of a movie next year. It really makes me think hmmm, I'd really like to see the end of One Piece so that can keep me going lol. Something I find interesting in the materials/notes is that the Adonis who attacked the Prime Minister Okazaki was protecting two years ago was the original Adonis. The Adonis in the present are apparently viewed as a dummy group of that one🤔 I feel like that's a pretty important detail for the future, like is this Adonis just inspired by them or is it the real Adonis~ Anyway, I think what I found most chilling about Okazaki's story was when Tsukishima kept saying it was Okazaki's fault things went wrong as he was dying from being squashed by the rubble that should have squashed Okazaki. He probably meant it in some other way since he obviously regarded Okazaki as important enough to save him but hearing that as someone loses their life is definitely something difficult to handle, like these are their last words and they're telling me it's my fault so they're definitely right kinda sentiment.

Honestly, I've been rather meh about this whole route, especially with Okazaki's attitude etc, but after he so honestly confessed his feelings to her when they were watching the horror movie, I couldn't help but melt to his words. He was so sincere and honest about how he enjoyed those little moments such as the silly texts with her that I couldn't help but feel touched. He's a frustrating guy but I really do like him. Even though I could understand Ichika for trying to protect Okazaki by going to Adonis, it also made me really annoyed because she was doing exactly what she got so annoyed about Okazaki doing, which is not caring for his own life, so her not caring for her own life when she promised him that they would find a way to live together made me mad. I'm glad Okazaki got mad at her, but I'm also sad that he felt hurt over it. Especially when he already told her that if she died, he'd probably just die too. I mean, there was no way Okazaki wouldn't notice how weird she was anyway lol. 

I guess I have to agree with Okazaki's statement though, everyone has something that they want to protect, and whatever it is that protects their precious something, that is what their justice is. In the end, what we deem as justice is what we believe can protect the things important to us such as other people, our friends etc, and that is also why even if our views of justice can be "similar", what it means to each person will be different, which also means that if we lose what we desire to protect, then our justice becomes meaningless. Anyway, I really like Sanjou. I like how he does what he wants and I guess to an extent, I can understand his sentiments of not caring about this world and dying. Honestly, Sanjou breaks my heart. When Okazaki told Sanjou to leave with him (as Sanjou bombed the place and decided to die with the collapse) and he said Okazaki changed, it felt like Sanjou was really happy for him because they both connected and understood how it felt to want to die. I found it most saddening that Sanjou understood Okazaki's sentiments that yeah maybe he could eventually find something in the future worth living for, but the problem was that he didn't have enough hope to keep living in this crappy world searching for it, and I think that really made me want to cry. It's just so sad that he didn't have someone like Ichika telling him how much they wanted him to live🥺 I wonder why the Prime Minister's son is a part of Adonis🤔

I really thought I missed the trigger mode when Ichika seemed like she was dying lolll, TIL that you can check the backlog to see if the trigger mode was a success or fail so that makes things easier haha. I honestly think it would have been so tragic if Ichika died saving Okazaki though, I can't imagine having to shoulder the burden of two people you care about dying to save you and in hopes of you having a good life. Lmao when Ichika finally woke up in the hospital and asked Okazaki if he was angry at her and he sent her an angry face emoji😂 I nearly cried when Okazaki let out all his emotions over hating himself for not being able to protect Ichika properly, but I'm glad that he was so frank about all his feelings to her, it's really great how well he communicates with her now. It was nice to hear him think about wanting to be a grandma and grandpa together with her. The tragic love end was a bit disappointing though, I think it would have been better to see Okazaki have to kinda live a life fulfilling what Ichika wanted rather than kinda succumbing to death because he couldn't find a reason to live anymore, like it's understandable because he's said that he'd want to die if she died but yeah..

Overall, even though I quite liked Okazaki's character, I don't think I can really say the same for his route. I guess I just found 80% of it pretty boring tbh lol, like the messages and interactions between Ichika and Okazaki were nice in their own way, but at the same time, because Okazaki was "using" her as a way to die a meaningful death, I couldn't feel the "love" he had for her imo. What he saw wasn't really her but what she could offer him, and that's pretty prevalent and obvious when you read the bad endings. However, I did really enjoy the last like 10-20% of the route, probably when they finally communicated and got to understand each other lol. It was nice to see Okazaki so honest and sincere after being able to wholeheartedly believe in a future where they both live, so I liked that. For me, the highlight was definitely Sanjou though, I think his story and character really got to me, and I'm super sad we couldn't save him (or romance him) because I think I ended up liking him more than Okazaki lmao. I still like Okazaki though, but the route was definitely lacking for me, it honestly took me a while to get through because of that lol. In that sense, I guess it made Ichika and Okazaki not feel like that great of a match for me, even though they were pretty cute.

[gothic-safari-clown]

The Mind’s Power Over the Body

Part 24: Don’t Count Your Chickens...

Story summary: They only ever had each other. It had been that way since high school, ever since Elianna transferred to dreary Arlen and took Jonathan under her wing. They go separate ways for college, and when they're reunited at Arkham Asylum professionally, Elianna comes to find that they've both changed during their time separated. Can she look past the promise of danger and stay by Jonathan's side as they slide further and further into the darkness while she grapples to come to terms with the truth about herself? Can she accept what needs to be done in order to hold onto the only person who holds any meaning in her life? This is a very self-indulgent AU that draws from several different canons of the DCU and ignoring others, starting in the Batman Begins Nolanverse. This will follow the plot of the movie, although the timeline has been very slightly tweaked.

Word count: 1136

Jonathan wasn't entirely sure where he was. Physically he knew he was in Arkham and was vaguely aware of the straightjacket binding his arms to his torso. But mentally, he was adrift. Neither in control nor out of control, he felt that he was somewhere in the middle along with Scarecrow, who was characteristically raving against the situation. Unable to gain full awareness of his surroundings, he had already lost track of time, but he was sure that if he had to listen to Scarecrow for much longer, he might truly go insane.

Luckily, that didn't seem to be in the cards. When the door to their cell swung open, it came so unexpectedly that the shock pulled both Jonathan and Scarecrow back to the cusp of control, each trying to force the other back down.

They watched the corridor as their fellow inmates began trickling through. While Scarecrow found himself confused, Jonathan's heart began to beat faster as he slowly pieced together what was happening.

Good call sending El away, Jonathan praised, feeling pride as he realized who must have been behind this.

Unfortunately, restrained by a straitjacket as they were, there was no point in them joining the throng of criminals spilling out of the asylum.

As quickly as they had resigned themselves to that fact, two SWAT men entered the room, dropping a bolt of burlap—our mask, no, my face— onto their lap before loosening their restraints. Jonathan's feeling of pride swelled even further when the taller of the two men spoke.

"That girl, Elianna? You must be pretty important to her. We asked why release everyone instead of just you, and she said something about revenge for taking you in the first place. She was pretty angry."

"I don't doubt it," Jonathan spoke disconnectedly while Scarecrow stood and put on their—his. Our?—face. "She has some...." while Jonathan was conjuring up the right word, Scarecrow took over, chuckling darkly. "Issues."

.xXx.

El was waiting impatiently just outside the asylum grounds, flanked by Axel, Aleksi, and Sam. The more inmates came spilling out before Jonathan, the more frustrated she became. However, watching the swarm of criminals through the slightly distorted lenses of her mask brought her a twisted sense of fulfillment.

If they wanted to play hardball, then she would gladly oblige.

Between the dispersion of the toxin that would soon occur and the criminally insane being let loose on this city, Gotham's finest would have a hell of a time trying to maintain order. The thought of the impending chaos summoned a smile to her face.

Gotham in freefall. What a beautiful thing to have the opportunity for rebirth. They should be grateful.

Finally, she caught sight of Scarecrow's mask, and her heart leapt. He was being escorted through the mire by two armed guards.

El dashed forward to meet them, her men right behind her. The masked pair stopped right in front of each other.

"Scarecrow?"

"I'm here. Beautiful job with all of this, gorgeous." The rough voice was surprisingly comforting, given El's previous run-ins with the straw man, and she grinned beneath her mask.

"Is Jonathan alright in there?"

"Oh, he's just fine. Very proud of you. Let's get started. Tearful reunions can come later." He brushed past her without another word, leaving El to dismiss the SWAT officers. They understood that their work was done and retreated to their truck with a nod from her without question.

With that done, El turned back to follow Scarecrow, beckoning the trio of men to trail along. As the five stood on the hill of the long driveway, looking out over the city, sounds of unrest and fear were already spreading, no doubt caused by the mass break out.

"Listen to that." Scarecrow was already enjoying himself immensely, practically breathing in the panic.

"They have no idea what's coming." They stood another moment, bracing for what else the night would bring before El spoke again. "I take it we won't be getting out of the city before it hits?"

"No, we missed the pick-up. I'd much rather be here anyway, wouldn't you?" The burlap mask turned to El, and she could practically hear the deranged smile behind it, flashes of the first time she had seen it swimming before her eyes. Despite that, she found herself smiling back.

"Yeah. I've put too much skin into this game to miss it." She gave one last look to the city before turning to the thugs that had helped her. "You boys had best find somewhere to hide. You're not going to like what comes next."

"You sure, boss?" That made Scarecrow's ears prick, and he whipped his head to watch the interaction with narrowed eyes. "You know we'd have your back anywhere." The trio had grown very attached to El in 24 hours. All things considered, she was the best boss they had ever had.

"Oh, I know, and we'll remember that. For now, you all get out of dodge. And stay out of our way, for your own good." The trio nodded, and she said her final goodbyes with a quick hug for each of them before returning to the masked man, while the goons retreated in the opposite direction.

"They should know better than to talk to you like that in front of me."

"What, you jealous?" El scoffed. "Unsubstantiated, don't you worry yourself about them. Come on; it's about to start. I don't want to miss anything."

With that, the pair started their trek into the city. As they grew nearer, the sounds of screaming and chaos grew louder and louder, signaling that the attack had begun. Scarecrow smiled to himself at the cacophony. He had waited almost Jonathan's whole life for something like this, and nothing was going to stop his good time.

Jonathan—trusting Scarecrow to handle the situation, given that this was his area of expertise—let himself float in middle space. The distant, muted cries of a city in distress marked his success, and he allowed himself a moment of rest. He had done it; all of his work and effort to bring the night's events into fruition had finally seen a conclusion.

Amidst the pandemonium of the city burning, he and El could find a way out of the city. Maybe steal a small boat from the city's elite and get to the mainland. Regardless, they would get away, find somewhere else and mind their own business. It was a nice thought, relaxing.

Even still, he was careful not to get too far ahead of himself. Anything could happen before Scarecrow had had enough to let him try to regain control. Even residing in the back of their mind, he had to stay vigilant until he could take that chance.

It was going to be a very long night.

[kittymaverick]

MCF: Black Crown commentary  part 2 and overall review.

 Spoilers! Though I’m going to post the spoiler free quick review up here.

Another great MCF game, I dare say, despite me constantly having to look away because of my fear of skulls. I’m a little sad that somethings weren’t explored a bit deeper, but overall the plot fits the MCF series, the art was of good quality, the puzzles were of the right difficulty. Not sure when and what the next game is, but I look forward to it if the quality keeps up!

1. [And then the walkthrough spent a full 5 minutes on a complex door puzzle] I was wondering when those would show up. MD: ...I’m more surprised no one sneaked up on me while I was going about this...

2. MD: Hm, maybe I should light this thing-- *Lights the entire passage way* Great, now they know we are here! MD: ...I was never meant to be stealthy, you know...

3. That’s... a somewhat floating ship, albeit on chains. MD: Seriously, they sailed that thing back from Louisiana?! What were they going to do instead, take a plane?

4. Girl: Hi there, also, look what I have. Doctor and Nurse: Help? MD: I KNEW IT. NOW WE HAVE A HOSTAGE CRISIS. Guess we aren’t deviating too far from classic MCF blunders after all.

5. Phineas: Let’s parley! MD: Sure! Give me the doctor and nurse, and I won’t burn your whole estate and ship down down. ...And the girl? MD: He can keep her. If there’s anything I’ve learnt, is leave no survivors to take revenge. Doctor and Nurse: Detective, no.

6. Phineas: Anyway, fix my ship until it’s seaworthy, and they go free, deal? MD: You’re gonna renegade anyway so is there even a point in me agreeing? Phineas: The other ghosts were right, you really are a spoilsport. MD: I’ll also like to point out you have at least 11 conscious subordinates to do your bidding still. Surely THEY can do SOMETHING.

7. A... tavern. MD: The fact that this is the first time I’ve seen a tavern surprises me. That’s a weird, sea monster, thingy, up there...

8. MD, please tell me you’re coming up with a plan to redrown this ghost, again. MD: Hm.... MD, please... MD: I mean, I’m thinking of a word that begins with m, can you guess what it is? Murder? MD: ...I was going more for mutiny, but sure, murder works too.

9. You know, one thing that’s nice about Phineas as a villain is he shuts up and let you do the work. MD: Ah, the sound of a tense peace and quiet... that is not at all pleasing. Time to blow some stuff up just so we can disturb it some. Wait WE’RE IN A CAVE--

10. [One controlled detonation and a ship released later...] MD: Okay, now hand over those hostages! Phineas: Bargain’s fulfilled. You can have them back. MD: ...What, really?! Phineas: I’m just missing some treasure though. Well, more like ONE PIECE (ahaha, ahem, sorry). My sword is missing. Can you get that for me? I’ll release the girl. MD: One, why would I even want that when she wants me dead? Two, I’m pretty sure that mutiny happened in the Americas. How on earth would the sword be here in England-- Phineas: I said A mutiny, not THE mutiny. MD: ...Oh. Still, do I have to rescue the girl? Doctor and nurse: Um, YES?! MD: Oh FINE, I’ll go play the hero... Phineas: I’ll be waiting in the captain’s quarters. MD: ...One, that sounded VAGUELY suggestive, two, you’re going to sink me with you, aren’t you?

11. MD: BTW, you two are taking this ghost pirate ship thing insanely well. Nurse: Um, we DO work at Manchester asylum, for one thing. Doctor: That and we’ve had to deal with you, once upon a time. MD: ...right, that, explains everything.

12. MD: Okay, that’s a lot of treasure on the boat. Maybe you can ask Her Majesty to loan us the army on account of rescuing some treasure? MD: She likes stories better. Awww.

13. Hm, a curse and a priestess... wonder who that priestess might be... MD: At this point, it could be any of the supernatural beings I’ve encountered.

14. Another skill the MD has: diving. MD: Can’t believe all those licensing lessons are paying off.

15. MD: Okay, got your sword! You can spring your trap now! [Ship sails away from the dock] MD: ...That’s one way to isolate your enemy, I guess. Maybe you should check for gunpowder before seeing the captain? MD: I really should do that, shouldn’t I?

16. [Inside captain’s quarters] Doctor and Nurse: Hi. MD: ...SERIOUSLY??? WHY DID YOU COME ON BOARD?! Phineas: Ahem, so the girl? MD: Yeah yeah, give her to the doctor, I don’t care. Phineas: Good! Off ye go, lass, and welcome aboard as my new crew hand, detective! MD: .............Haha, real funny-- Doctor: Remember that contract you signed? That was the service contract. Also, thanks to you, we’re immortal now. MD: ...I fucking knew that paper wasn’t just something random, AND ALSO OF THIS INEVITABLE BETRAYAL! *clench fist* Oh, as for immortality... I’ve got my feather, all good, no thanks.

16. Doctor: So long as the ship sails and we’re on board, we’ll have an eternity to enjoy them! MD: ...Okay, thanks for telling me how to stop you. Time to look for those powder kegs! Phineas: Damn minions, why can’t they keep their mouth shut.

17. Crew member... something: Find me some navigation charts! Another Crew member: I need a new target to throw at! MD: What am I, your servant?! Phineas: Well, judging by the contract, ya probably are. MD: ...You are going to love what I’m about to serve all of you. At least it wasn’t a prenuptial contract or the like, right?

18. Crew member I’ve-lost-count: Thanks for the extra hand! ...I guess they’re still a little insane after all... MD: Not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing... Crew another: I need to feed the bird, but the bird isn’t here... but I need to feed the bird, but-- MD: ...Let’s go with good for now.

19. [Fire a canon] Phineas: Which one of you did that?! MD: *whistles and goes downstairs*

20. MD: He... stored her remains in the FIGUREHEAD??? ...Wow, at least it wasn’t you, right? MD: Not at all helping!

21. MD: Got all the needles, now... HEY PHINEAS! Phineas: Wha? MD: I got a bunch of needles, and guess who’s gonna get stabbed? Phineas: Traitor! This is mutiny! MD: In seriousness, did you really expect me to serve you willingly? Phineas: No, but I didn’t expected you to be this stupid and try to rebel so early! MD: Oh you bloody... *Stabs doll like crazy*

22. Phineas: Wait until I’m free! I’ll rain all the wrath upon ya! MD: Nice try, now I’m going to take the crown, and also this other thing from you... now stay still while I go break the curse. Phineas: You will regret this! MD: I already don’t regret this! 8D I think for once, the MD might be having a bit too much fun tormenting their foe. 23. Phineas: NOOOOO MY SHIP!!!! MD: Off the sides, everyone! Take your leave before it’s too late-- AAAAHHHHH. You would think the voodoo priestess would be nicer and not drop you into the ocean like that. MD: I’m just thankful I’m alive, honestly. Girl: Also, thank you for saving me. MD: ... Dammit I didn’t exactly mean to do that... Oh well, just, please don’t come after me again. My life insurance is getting worse with each attempt. Phineas: *cackles from under water* MD: Oh shut up you ectoplasmic goop. I need another vacation-- Hey, a letter from Louisiana! Time for that American holiday, right MD? MD: *sighs*

[Extra content start here!]

24. So, guy’s got horucruxes. MD: What’s up with people putting pieces of their souls into stuff, huh? It mostly explains their state of mind, to be honest.

25. Only death can find you... creepy... MD: I mean, they’re not wrong. Death’s almost found me many times. And actually did find me that one time...

26. OOOOOHHHH that’s the shopkeeper’s body alright... MD: Welp, guess I’m on my own, plus that southern guy out there. Southern guy: Oh, she’s dead? Well, then I’m out. Keep the amulet to protect yourself! MD: Yes please, I no longer do search and rescues. At least not unless it’s paid well.

27. AAAHHHH TREE MONSTER THINGY! MD: AMULET PROTECT ME PUT THE JAW BACK PUT IT BACK *Thing collapses into dust* MD: ...Oh that was easy. Yeah, guess that’s over-- FLYING SKULL FLYING SKULL MAKE IT GO AWAY! (Kitty has nearly passed out from too much skull exposure at this point)

28. MD: Okay, into the crypt-- oh that’s a lot of skulls (Kitty once again passes out from too many skulls...)

29. Ghost: Heard you hate Phineas too, so we’re gonna help you get him. MD: Great! How do I-- Ghost: Just gotta find his skull among all the skulls here, good luck. MD: ... (Kitty is just gone) MD: Welp fuck me.

30. Ghost: Assemble the four great pirate elements! Wade: Teeth! Terrel: Tentacle! Joe: Eye! Wayne: Pistol! Ghosts: Together we are...! MD: ...A match-3 puzzle??? REALLY????????? Thank you for not making it skulls...

31. MD: FOUND YOU. GET OVER HERE AND BURN TO ASH! Phineas: Ehehe, you missed a tooth! MD: ...fuck.

[dalekofchaos]

Why I ship Joker x Harley/Jarley and why I love Joker and Harley as characters

I like their relationship because I see them as this twisted clownish super villain version of Bonnie And Clyde. Their dynamic, their chemistry and their story is compelling and I just love them together. While the abuse does make me uncomfortable. It’s more than one sided abuse as so many people diminish it as.

A lot of people like to diminish the relationship as one sided abuse and take Harley’s agency and autonomy away by treating her like a defenseless child and a “cinnamon roll that must be protected at all costs” and dismiss Joker as nothing but a fuckboy. Their relationship is more complex than that. Harley became a villain of her own free will and The Joker is one of the greatest villains of all time. They are much more than tumblr dismisses them as.

Harleen Quinzel chose to become Harley Quinn.  Harleen Quinzel was not tortured or thrown in chemicals to become Harley Quinn. Harleen Quinzel fell in love with The Joker in therapy. There is a large portion of manipulation on The Joker’s part, but it was Harleen’s choice to become Harley Quinn. She’s not a victim of The Joker’s madness, she chose to become who she is.

Their relationship isn’t one sided abuse it’s an on and off again relationship. The Joker and Harley are both insane and dysfunctional, there is no way this can be a normal and healthy relationship because that is the complete opposite of these two characters. No one is saying the relationship is healthy nor do I suggest it to be healthy or a relationship to strive towards. It’s meant to be a violent, unstable relationship. It’s also fictional. It’s a fictional relationship between two horrible, demented murdering clowns. To pretend the relationship is a run of the mill one that’s portrayed as healthy is just preposterous. Same with pretending the relationship isn’t also filled with a sick, twisted romance. Romanticizing Joker/Harley isn’t the problem. The problem is encouraging the behaviors, which no one is. And I love them together, they are like the psychotic clownish super villain Bonnie And Clyde. The Joker DOES love Harley, he is incapable of showing it normally because he has never felt love for anyone and because he’s trash. If he didn’t love Harley he would have killed her ages ago, if all he needed was a way out of Arkham, Harley would have been killed.  He tries to kill her to push her away because he thinks that romance is a distraction and alien. Really, Joker sees Harley as the perfect partner. and this is according to Harley’s creator Paul Dini, The Joker himself Mark Hamil and Harley herself Arleen Sorkin “He loves her as much as he can. He loves her in his way.” -Paul Dini “…That, to me, is kinda their private life. Joker opens up and in those moments he is whatever he is at his core and all his demons come in. And the only one he trusts with that is Harley, or Harley’s the only one who knows how to deal with him in those moments.” -Paul Dini “Expressing emotion in any way that’s real and meaningful is alien to The Joker, but he’s learning those parts of himself, however unconsciously, through Harley.” -Mark Hamil “Everyone else sees The Joker laugh; only Harley has ever seen him cry.” -Arleen Sorkin She’s completely and utterly obsessed and in love with The Joker. She loves Ivy too, but her heart is primarily with Joker. Hell there was a comic where Joker was all nice and sweet to Harley and eventually Harley became bored and tried to get the old Joker back. Harley is in love with the mad clown, Harley wouldn’t have it any other way.

The Joker is one of the great villains of all time. He is the complete opposite of Batman. He is unpredictable and there is no method to why he does what he does. He is a force of nature, while Batman is the unmovable object. He views life as a joke and death as the punchline. He is the only one who can truly push Batman and Gotham to it’s limits. His goal isn’t money, revenge or even world domination. The Joker simply wants to watch the world burn and prove that all it takes is one bad day to turn insane just like him. Batman's primary weapon in his war against crime is intimidation. This is useless to The Joker. The Joker can use Batman’s code of not killing against him. The Joker also forces Batman to make choices to reveal his true character but also outsmarts him. Joker is not out to kill Batman, if he kills him, the fun is over. This is more of a game to Joker. “You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness, and I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to to this forever.” that is what makes their dynamic so good. The Joker knows where to hurt Batman and Batman won’t kill him. Speaking of. I often hear tumblr go off about “Batman should just fucking kill Batman and get it over with” no...no you moron! The reason why is this. The Joker and Batman are each trying to prove a point to society - and really to us, the readers. The Joker wants Batman to kill him because he perfectly embodies chaos and anarchy and wants to prove a point to everyone that people are basically more chaotic than orderly. This is why he is so scary: we are worried he may be right. If the Joker is right, then civilization is a ruse and we are all truly monsters inside. If the Joker can prove that Batman - the most orderly and logical and self-controlled of all of us - is a monster inside, then we are all monsters inside, and that is terrifying. The Joker is terrifying because we fear that we are like him deep down - that he is us. Batman is what we (any average person) could be at our absolute best, and the Joker is what we could be at our absolute worst. The Joker’s claim is that we are all terrible deep down, and it is only the law and our misplaced sense of justice that keeps us in line. Since Batman isn’t confined by the law, he is a perfect test case to try to get him to "break.” The Joker wants Batman to kill a person, any person, but knows that the only person Batman might ever even remotely consider killing would have to be a terrible monster, so is willing to do this himself and sacrifice himself to prove this macabre point. Batman needs to prove that it is not just laws that keep us in line, but basic human decency and our natural instinct NOT to kill. If Batman can prove this, then others will be inspired by his example (the citizens of Gotham, but again, also the readers), just as we are all inspired every day to keep civilization running smoothly and not descend into violence, anarchy, and chaos. This ability to be decent in the face of the horrors and temptations present all around us is humanity’s superpower, the superpower of each of us. The struggle of Batman and the Joker is the internal struggle of each of us. But we are inspired by Batman’s example, not the Joker’s, because Batman always wins the argument, because he has not killed the Joker. and that is why their dynamic works and why not killing The Joker is important. And that is simply why I love The Joker and why I cannot stand it when tumblr dismisses him as a abusive fuckboy or whines about him doing villainous acts and not understanding why Batman won’t kill him.

Harley Quinn isn’t a pushover or defenseless cinnamon roll “that must be protected at all costs”. Harley can defend herself and kick Joker’s ass, she can hold her own against Batman(Harley came the closest to killing Batman) or any of the rouge’s gallery and she can fought Mercy Graves and she won that fight!

Harleen Quinzel is not super smart as the New 52/Assault On Arkham/Injustice likes to say, but Harley is clever in her own way.  Harley’s father was a con artist and abusive. Harley became a psychiatrist to understand her father and to make a book on the rouges of Arkham Asylum, yes she slept her way to get a PHD. But that in away was smart. Harley is smart, but she likes partying more than studying, and gymnastics more than flipping through boring text books. She got into the university on a gymnastics scholarship, after all. So naturally, her grades were lackluster, meaning Ds and Fs. So she decided to boost the grades the old fashioned way, through sex with professors. She still gets to party and train, but she also gets top marks that would get her into Arkham Asylum, where she could train at becoming a pop psychologist. In a way, it was strategic thinking on Harley’s part. Harley is smart, but she isn’t super smart.

Harley works best as a second in command/follower. Why?  Because she became a villain in the first place to follow someone. And she as a villain only follows two people, Joker and Ivy. She has no motivation if she’s not following someone else, and her character is not meant to be heroic or quirky. She’s obsessive, lovesick and is solely devoted to her two loves. She kills for Joker and Ivy, she steals for them, she collaborated with them. If she’s not with one of them, her heart isn’t in it. And having her own solo series had rendered her into just another generic female anti hero. And since she was created to be a sidekick, she really works best in small doses. Trying to overwrite her character weakens the complexities of her.

Harley’s dad was and is a con artist. He’s been in and out of jail, constantly cheating on Harley’s mom, duping rich women for everything they have. Growing up in Bensonhurst around her constantly cheating and lying father, being left in squalor with her bitter mom and slacker brother, Harley vowed she’d be different, make a difference and actually be somebody. But it’s the classic tale of growing up to be what you hate. Harley loved cutting corners like her dad, though I imagine she always justified that to herself by saying she was actually going to make a difference, unlike her con artist father. And then she also became her mother, by falling in with The Joker, who is scarily a lot like her father.

Harleen Quinzel  was already traumatized and unstable from her fiance committing suicide right front of her but went into Arkham right after that anyways because she wanted to study the inmates from Arkham Asylum and wanted to study The Joker so she could be famous for  learning his secrets, which we all know what happened. I would say the madness was already in Harley just buried underneath, The Joker just helped it surface.

Harleen Quinzel did not come to Arkham Asylum to help people. Harleen was power hungry and saw the inmates as a get rich quick scheme for a book and wanted to be the one to understand The Joker’s secrets and what made him what he is. In her own words. “I’ve always had an attraction for extreme personalities, they’re more exciting more challenging. You can’t deny there’s an element of glamour to these super criminals.”

Harley Quinn is not a hero nor is she a anti-hero as DC has been trying to reshape her as. Harley Quinn IS A VILLAIN! Harley is not this role-model, she is a psychopath and a villain. Harley is not as psychotic as The Joker, Harley Quinn can be just as dangerous. Harley isn’t this precious baby, she isn’t a precious teddy bear and she isn’t someone to coddle regardless of how much you love her.  She doesn’t need to be protected from The Joker when she’s a super villain who has murdered her fair share of people and can hold her own against The Joker. She’s also crazy exuberant and peppy. She’s lighthearted evil.

Harley Quinn does not have Stockholm Syndrome. She is a willing accomplice to the Joker and knows exactly what she’s doing. She was never taken hostage or held against her will. She chose this lifestyle from the beginning. She as the Joker’s doctor crossed the line when getting getting romantically involved with him. You may not like the Joker or how he can treat her at times, but the truth is Harley Quinn took advantage of her mentally ill patient who was already declared legally insane before she ever met him. She has always been in the wrong. She begged and pleaded with the Arkham staff just to get to treat him so she could write a tell all book about the Joker. She’s not innocent. She’s a villain, not a victim.

Like it or not The Joker and Harley are made for each other. Harley’s entire character is built around The Joker. The only way Harley would ever be free from Joker’s influence is if she stripped away the clown aesthetic, stopped calling herself Harley Quinn and became Harleen Quinzel again. Harley is supposed to be obsessed with the Joker and no one else, she was created for The Joker.  In my opinion, taking away the obsession a character is literally built around will not improve it.  Everything would have been different if Harley hadn’t been built around the Joker, but she was created for him, therefore taking her away from him not only is out of character, but is also bad for the character itself. Joker, like it or not, was and still is what made Harley a special, complex character. Harley Quinn does not work without The Joker and does not work by trying to make her a hero or an anti-hero. She was created to be a villain and taking that away does not work at all

[suffernotawitchtolive]

I don’t want to know who we are when we aren’t together || Self

The world spun around him, the scrapes felt like holes in his flesh. The pain had only been this bad once before. They had been torturing Joshua and then had killed Wren. This pain only compared to the look on Joshua’s face as he died. Of course Wren hadn’t stayed dead, but now he wished this pain was death. In the moment he wanted death. Joshua had turned on him. Joshua had protected the witch. Wren hadn’t even wanted to kill her. whether she continued to follow his trail or not, he wanted to quit hunting and settle down with Joshua. Maybe have a new parish, but Joshua wasn’t settling down with him. Joshua had betrayed him for Kouri.

The silence was ripped apart with a pained sob. Wren gripped his own hair as he leaned back against the truck. He had driven for hours to get away from the attack. To get away from Joshua. Had it been a ruse? Had he been trying to save Wren from her? Why would he attack Wren that way if it was to protect him?

Attacked him. Joshua attacked him to defend that girl. Joshua had shot him. Wren had broken the bolt and left most of it in his shoulder. the pain started to lace through his arm and chest, his tattoo kept throbbing as he sobbed. His sobs got the attention of the hunters he had driven to inside the safe house. 

He was covered in blood and starting to tremble violently. His arm was starting to lose function in the pain from the bolt and he was starting to feel dizzy. Joshua had shot him. Judas shot him. At least he wasn’t dead. But had he betrayed Wren or was he still protecting Wren. The ground spun up to meet him but was caught and carried inside.

He had woken up three days later. they had moved him to a different state. He was in a small clinic inside a small church. He guessed. With all the crosses and the saints on the white walls. It was a four bed clinic. No one else was in here. He knew this was a hunter recovery unit. A witness protection for him while he was injured. They would probably make him work here while he recovered. Little did they know, he would recover much faster than he should and he would be gone before they released him.

Now weeks had passed and no word came from Judas. She had bewitched him. That had to be it. Joshua wouldn’t do this.

Wren didn’t speak. He just answered the yes or no questions with a nod or shake of his head. Anything else got a polite nod or smile. He barely interacted with anyone and only did the bare minimum. He had been injured badly, emotionally and physically. this place was quiet and understanding. Beautiful and comfortable. He hated it. He would give any number of days here up to be with Joshua again one more time in that damn asylum. 

“Father.” He jumped, being caught off guard, a tear rolling down his cheek. It was a small, young, nun. He tilted his head to acknowledge her speaking to him, “Father. You’ve lost someone... and not to death. That’s how you came to us,isnt it?” She said softly to him. He looked down to the ground and gently brushed the tear off his face. 

She watched him in silence then started to play with a flower to give him a moment to himself in the most polite way she could, “That is why we are here. The Vatican send the injured home to be retired. you were intended for retirement. They know that you’ve lost someone important. I’m here to help you get them back. I am sister Lynn. Father Gregory is going to aid you as well as sisters Rita, and Gwen. Gwen is a mute as you are.” 

Wren shook his head, speaking softly, his voice quiet. He hadn’t ever heard it so quiet before yet so clear,” I’m not mute, Sister. I didn’t mean to be rude. I just had nothing to say.” 

“You do now, and it wasn’t that.” She looked down,” You’re going to tell me you do not need help. this is why the Vatican sends the wounded home. Sends those who have lost others to us. We are here specifically for rescue missions. You’re going to tell us to stay here. That is why we can’t. The Vatican sent you to us to make sure this is a recuse mission and not a revenge mission.” She lay a hand on his arm as he started to feel the air being forced from him. They weren’t going to let him kill Kouri, and his injuries were not great enough for him to be retired. Judas had wounds to great to keep hunting so they would either retire him, or worse, since he wasn’t of use to them anymore and all supernaturals were blasphemy. He couldn’t let them get Judas in their hands.

“I can’t save him.” She seemed shocked. A priest in love was something that sometimes happened, and love had been what they saw him grieving. A priest in love with a man was more taboo than the killing they did, “We can’t save him. He doesn’t wish to be saved. I can no longer fight. The Vatican made a poor judgement on this one. I’m too injured. you’ve seen my shoulder. I can’t move this arm at all. It was ruined in the fight.”

“you have spent more words making excuses than anything else you have said here. Father. Your in the protection of the church and all of those you keep are now as well. The church will cause you no grief. After we retrieve the one you lost, you are both retired. He has done amazing work for the Vatican under your guidance. This is a true rescue and release mission. They reviewed your report of the Asylum. Great work.” She almost blushed. He was a legend, honestly. their best hunter. He had done better work at the asylum than anyone there had known.

Wren smiled bitterly and squinted to the sun above them. It was a cool day. Not cool enough to keep the snow from melting once the sun got higher. Right now the snow was still freshly fallen at their feet on the sides of the path. Just freshly cleaned. Had been cold enough to snow but somehow not cold enough to kill the flowers.

"Youre new here, Sister. You were given orders to aid me in finding the ome I lost. You are to aid me in saving him. You didnt know it was a him, you dont have a name yet or you would be skeptical of saving him. Father has different orders. Je is a fore extinguisher. He is to escalate the situation until the only line of action... is to kill me and the one I have lost in the process of 'saving' either you or humself or one of the others. He may kill the girl who has my friend captive. He may not. She isnt on their radar yet. I didnt think she was a threat so never reported her." He started to walk, hands clasped at his back.

"I... father Wren, that's not..." she stammered as she followed. He spun on her, making eye contact and started to compel her.

"Forget this conversation. You havent seen me this morning. You will go to find me in my room. Go on." He watched as she calmly turned and went the other direction. His tattoo chastised him for letting her go. A witch. A fire extinguisher here to redeem herself to the church. Or another soul to sacrifice to the church as Wren had done over and over. It didnt matter to him. She would have died in the field. They wouldnt let her get to her second mission.

He had overturned his room. Made it look like a major struggle. Broken bed, broken desk. There was a broken bookcase and papers thrown around, curtains burned and torn. He avoided everyone as they ran to see what had happened. He made it to his truck and used magic to start it, he disnt know where they hid his keys.

He had to go save Judas. Reverse whatever spell kouri had put on him. It had to be a spell. Had to be. Joshua would never turn on him for her. Not after all they had been through. Not after all he had put Joshua through. Not after...

Wren couldnt think about this any other way. Not now. He had to concentrate and had to think of how to actually fight Joshua this time even though Joshua wasnt going to hold back like Wren had to.

As he drove he muttered a spell, A delayed spell that set off bombs he had planted in the church. There were areas he knew no one would be this early in the morning and he had planted them there to keep the church away. He knew that the Vtican wanted to retire him. He knew that meant theg wanted him dead. True retirement came after long trials. Sitting and reporting to the vatican in person. Presenting your case and begging for it. Most of the time if you were Wrens age, you were denied. Judas was even younger and an abomination. Wren had always known they wouldnt reture Judas.

He winced and held his own shoulder. The pain was lacing its way down his arm, years springing to his eyes. Judas had shot him. Had been stating at him and not recognised him. Judas had shot at him and sent him away, protecting his childhood...

"Stop it, Wren." He told himself aloud," Stop thinking that way. There was no way she could turn him. He knew the blood and gore on my hands. He knew it all. I told him. He had hated me for it but we had worked it out. We were okay. We were in live. He would never turn on me."

Unless she told him how her family had been innocent and she had been run out of her families home. Had been orphaned by her priest. Unless he had once loved this girl and now reunited, he loved her more. Or just plain loved her. Didnt live Wren and finally figured it out. Wren sobbed.

"Im his mission." A cry ripped from his chest. Judas wouldnt do this to him. No matter what. He had never given up on Wren. Judas should have. The moment Wren doubted him, used him, ruined him. Wren sobbed even harder but he had to keep driving.

He could feel blood running down his arm but instead of giving in to the pain, he used it. He started to mutter a spell the blood laying into the shape of his tattoo until a name struck him. He knew where Judas was. He was going to save him. No matter the cost.

The cost could be Judas. That was right. If he killed Kouri while Judas was under the spell he would be stuck under the spell. He had to break it. That was clever. She knew he couldnt kill her until she removed the spell. Never remove the spell, never die. Leverage.

Wren had to make a backup plan. Had to fix this. He had to.

Finally after a day and a night he pulled over and fell asleep in the cab of his truck, blood dried on his arm and side making his shirt stick to him in the cold. He slept, almost as if at peace. He knew what was coming. He prayed he was wrong. His dreams told him he wasnt.

The windshield cracked.

@tattoobruised

@pride-and-wrathfulness

@alexanderforhire

[thecitrinefox]

Thunder Only Happens

(derek/stiles, teen wolf, superhero/villain au, 4.7k)

“Your son visited you for lunch today?” Derek asks, landing on the roof with a thump.

“Yeah,” Stilinski says slowly. “How the hell could you know that. Were you in the precinct earlier as a civilian? Oh god, have you bugged the place?”

“No, but he swapped the signal again,” Derek says, gesturing toward the large spotlight on the other side of the roof that the Police Commissioner uses to flag Derek down when they need to talk about something going on in their city. Normally it’s the simple outline of a crescent moon. Tonight someone has put the cutout of the three wolf moon t-shirt design on top of the spotlight. Stilinski sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose once he notices.

“He’s still mad I won’t let him meet you,” Stilinski says.

“I thought Stiles hated me,” Derek says. “Isn’t he anti-vigilante?”

“He says he is, but I think he’s just mad he isn’t out there fighting crime in a cape himself,” Stilinski says. “And he hasn’t stopped pestering me about you since he figured out I’m in contact with The Wolf.”

“I hate that name,” Derek grumbles.

“Well it’s not like you’ve ever given us a better option on what to call you, and you do flash eyes and fangs at a lot of perps,” Stilinski points out. “Could be worse, right. At least the papers didn’t decide to call you Laser Eyes or The Slasher or something. If it were up to Stiles everyone would be calling you The Sourwolf.”

“Well then I guess it’s good it’s not up to him,” Derek sighs. He’s grateful that the Commissioner has managed to keep his kid away from all of their meetings, and somewhat surprised that he’s been this successful at it. He hasn’t met Stiles in years, not since Stiles was an awkward pre-teen and Derek was barely a legal adult. Derek had been so wrapped up in grief and pain back then from the death of his parents that he hadn’t even noticed that sarcastic obnoxious flailing-limbed Stiles was also dealing with his own grief, and it’s possible that Derek had been kind of an asshole to the kid at the time. It’s something he regrets in retrospect, but in the long run it’s been helpful. Stiles had always been an eerily perceptive kid, so Derek alienating him back then had done him two favors, both in getting Stiles to back off from following him around like a puppy, and also for starting the idea in other people’s heads that Derek Hale was not the sort of person who cares about other people. If he couldn’t even be nice to the then-Police Captain’s motherless child at a few city events, why would he spend his nights trying to save people he didn’t even know?

So even though he looks back on his behavior with shame, it’s better this way. He thinks about how Stiles always just seemed to know things back then and has no doubt that even if he uses the voice changer around Stiles, even if he was in his full black costume that covers everything but his eyes and his mouth, the kid would still recognize him somehow. So it’s better this way. Keeping Stiles away from The Wolf. Besides which, the Commissioner knows both of Derek’s identities and if he ever got his son mixed up in all this, Derek’s pretty sure he’d kill him. Or worse, tell Derek’s sisters.

“So what’s going on?” Derek asks. In the beginning he’d been pretty annoyed that Stilinski had realized who The Wolf really was so easily, but now he’s used to it, and it’s sort of nice to have another person to talk to who knows about him besides Laura, Cora and Boyd. And Kira. Actually more people know about his vigilante antics than he’d realized. But he’d tried to keep it a secret from everyone at first and that had gone disastrously wrong so now he tries to be smarter about not keeping people in the dark if it’ll put them in danger.

“Fire at Eichen House Asylum,” Stilinski says. “There was enough damage they had to move the inmates and they’re still sorting them out. A couple of burned bodies were found in their cells. One of the was in your uncle’s cell.”

“Yeah there’s no way Peter just happened to die in a fire at Eichen,” Derek sighs. “It’s probably a guard, isn’t it.”

“Which means that Peter is out on the streets again,” Stilinski says. “You got any idea what he could be after this time?”

“Money? Revenge? Who knows,” Derek says. “We should keep an eye out for an uptick in organized crime, I don’t think he’d want to take any of the gangs over, but he has been known to manipulate them to his own ends.”

“Got it,” Stilinski says. “And if you get a lead on him, you tell me. You don’t have to take him down on your own. In fact it might be better if you don’t. He knows who you are, and while he hasn’t gone public with your identity yet, he might try to use it as a bargaining chip.”

“I wouldn’t put my own anonymity over the safety of the city,” Derek says defensively.

“I know that,” Stilinski says. “But I’d rather if it didn’t come to that.”

“I’ll let you know if I have any leads,” Derek says. “But if he’s an immediate threat I can’t make any promises.”

“Fair enough,” Stilinski says. “And you got anything I should be aware of?”

“The Spark apparently broke into the Beacon Hills Public Library,” Derek says, after a moment of deliberation.

“I didn’t hear about this, as far as I know no reports were officially filed,” Stilinski says, pausing. “The library? That’s strange.”

“I guess he didn’t trip any alarms so the cops weren’t called,” Derek says. “They probably wouldn’t even know he was there but he left a sparkler on the circulation desk down in the archives.”

“He hurt anybody, steal anything or do any property damage?” Stilinski asks.

“Not so far as anybody could tell,” Derek says.

“Well let me know if he does,” Stilinski says. “Until then we’ve got bigger things to worry about.”

“It is strange though, right,” Derek says. “Why the library? And why has he been escalating like that? He’s broken into half a dozen public buildings in the past month alone, and those are just the ones we know about. None of those places had anything of value, and if he’s stolen anything they aren’t saying. When was the last time he pulled off a genuine heist? Or are people just not reporting it if he’s stolen their jewels or antiquities?”

“You got a theory?” Stilinski asks.

“Not really,” Derek admits. The Spark, a talented, probably magical cat burglar who burst onto the scene in spectacular fashion about a year ago when he stole a million dollar antique blade during its auction without being caught, has always been somewhat mystifying. “But I think we both need to keep an ear out. He’s up to something and whatever it is, I’d rather not be blindsided by it.”

“You have a point,” Stilinski says, sounding tired. “I’ll try and put some feelers out and I’ll let you know if I get any bites. But I gotta admit, I feel like we’ve got bigger things to focus on, between your uncle probably being on the loose and the Argents returning to town.”

“Just let me know if you hear anything,” Derek says. “I better get going, I have a few patrols to do and a couple of sensors to check on.”

“And I need to head out too,” Stilinski says. “The reason Stiles stopped by earlier to make sure I was still meeting him for dinner, and he’ll never let me hear the end of it if I’m late because I was meeting with you.”

“How’s he doing anyways,” Derek asks before he can stop himself.

“You’d know if you ever accepted my invitation to dinner,” Stilinski says. “Your sisters don’t have a problem coming over.”

“It’s better if we keep these things separate,” Derek points out. “You know Laura professionally since she’s a DA so it makes sense for her to see you outside of that and bring Cora. But it’s hard enough keeping people from suspecting that I’m The Wolf as it is, if Derek Hale started spending time with one of The Wolf’s known associates it could get complicated.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Stilinski says. “And I am well aware of how Stiles would react to meeting either of your personas, and that’s just asking for trouble. I just worry about you sometimes.”

“I can take care of myself,” Derek points out. He’s been doing this for years after all.

“I’m not worried about The Wolf,” Stilinski says with a shake of his head. “I worry about Derek. You.”

“Oh,” Derek says, unsure how to respond. “I’m fine”

“Sure you are,” Stilinski says. “Just if you ever need to talk about anything that isn’t crime, I’m here.”

“Thanks,” Derek says awkwardly. And then feeling awkward and exposed, Derek, to his eternal shame, turns and backflips off the roof into the alley besides the station. God the Commissioner is going to tell Laura about this and Derek’s never going to hear the end of it.

XX

Derek thinks he probably jinxed himself, asking the Commissioner about Stiles the other night, because after years of not seeing Stiles suddenly he runs into him in the last place he would’ve expected to see him. Although considering how much trouble Stiles got into as a kid, Derek thinks maybe he should have expected it.

It’s in the middle of a bank robbery that Derek stumbles upon while out on patrol as The Wolf. He hears the alarm with his enhanced lycanthropic auditory senses and thankfully it’s only a couple of blocks of running before Derek is staring down at the bank now taken over by four armed robbers. He’s the first one to make it to the bank after the robbery starts, and although he can hear police sirens in the distance getting closer, the robbers have already fired a warning shot into the air, and there’s no guarantee that the cops will get here in time before somebody gets hurt or killed, so Derek doesn’t want to wait.

There’s an art to these things, to getting through them without any collateral damage. Sometimes the element of surprise is necessary, sometimes brute force is the only way to end it, but neither of those things work without a little recon. And sometimes, neither of those things are necessary at all, if the robbers are using blanks, or they’re shaky or unsure enough that they’re willing to be talked down.

In this case Derek thinks that taking them down one by one is the answer. They’re spread out enough, and while they look like professionals, they don’t look like a cohesive enough team that they aren’t susceptible to a hitch in their plans. After some quick recon from the roof of the building across the street, Derek breaks in through the back of the bank. The alarms are already going off so getting in isn’t really a problem, if you don’t mind knocking down a door or wall or two.

The back of the bank is unguarded, thankfully, probably because it’s pretty well barricaded and the robbers didn’t think the police would be coming in that way. There are a couple frightened employees cowering in a copy room, and Derek gestures for them to escape out the back. They throw frightened glances his way as they pass, and while it’s frustrating since Derek is the one rescuing them, he knows that in his black leather outfit, mask and fangs and glowing red eyes he cuts an intimidating figure.

He makes his way carefully down the hall, heading toward the front of the bank where he can still hear the robbers arguing and shouting. He does a double-take though when he glances to the side and sees a man casually leaning against a large ornate desk in the largest office he’s passed so far.

“You need to get out of here, there’s a robbery going on,” Derek hisses, his voice distorted by the changer Cora had gotten for him from...somewhere. Wherever it is that Cora has always gotten him his electronics that she refuses to tell him about.

“Yeah the cops are on their way,” the man says, face still bent over his phone where he appears to be texting.

“You need to get out of here, it’s not safe for employees,” Derek says. “The back door is open, you need to go.”

“Not an employee, dude,” the guy says, looking up finally and Derek’s breath catches in his throat.

It’s Stiles. He looks different enough Derek almost doesn’t recognize him, but the pattern of moles scattered across the pale skin of is jawline is unmistakeable.

Rationally, Derek must have known that Stiles was no longer the kid he’d been when they’d last seen each other. Logically, Derek has gotten older so he knew that Stiles had too, but somehow in his mind he’d maybe still thought of Stiles as a gangly teenager with a bad home-done buzzcut, sullen expression on his face and skinny flailing limbs he didn’t quite know how to control not...this.

Stiles is not a teenager anymore. Stiles has muscular forearms exposed where he’s rolled up his sleeves. His broad shoulders and thick biceps are clear beneath the thin material of his dress shirt. He’s as tall as Derek and has soft wavy brown hair that curls down around his ears. The thick black hipster glasses he’s wearing just contrast his sharp cheekbones and jawline even more and somehow amplify his long lashes as he blinks rapidly at Derek in surprise.

And none of it is relevant, of course, because Derek has spent years avoiding Stiles, for the Commissioner’s sake, and now Stiles is smack dab in the middle of an armed robbery that Derek is about to blow up, and Stilinski is going to kill him.

“A vigilante,” Stiles says, putting his phone away. “Great.”

“I need to go take those robbers out before they kill someone, and you need to get out of here,” Derek says urgently.

“You’re going to take them all out on your own?” Stiles asks skeptically.

“There’s only four of them and they don’t seem too organized,” Derek says. “Plus I can heal from bullet wounds.”

“If they aren’t laced with wolfsbane,” Stiles points out.

“The odds of that are low, and I have armor, too,” Derek says. “Come on, you need to go. The Commissioner will kill me if you get hurt in a robbery I’m trying to stop.”

“So you do know who I am,” Stiles says, giving him an unreadable look. “And yet you don���t know what I do for a living if you thought I work here.”

“What does that matter?” Derek says impatiently.

“You need a distraction,” Stiles decides, brushing past Derek and turning down the hall in the direction of the bank’s front lobby. He has a heavy paperweight he must’ve grabbed from the desk in one hand and Derek rushes to stop him.

“You can’t do that,” Derek says.

“Oh really? And why is that, because I’m just a citizen and not a legitimate officer of the law,” Stiles grits out, and before Derek can grab him and physically haul him back down the hall and toss him out the back door, Stiles starts shouting and banging against the wall next to the door leading out to the lobby.

“What the hell,” Derek hisses as he and Stiles flatten themselves on either side of the doorway as the shouting in the lobby increases and heavy footsteps head their way.

“I’ll take care of this guy,” Stiles whispers. “Then you have one less guy to deal with.”

“After this is over we are having words,” Derek hisses, but then one of the robbers is bursting through the door and Stiles has already tripped him up, kicking away the man’s gun before kneeling on his back. It’s an impressive move but Derek doesn’t have time to dwell on that, ducking out of the door to finish this thing.

XX

All in all, from the time Derek had arrived at the bank to til the cops show up to find three robbers bound up in zip ties in the front lobby, and a fourth being restrained by Stiles out back, it’s only about twenty minutes in total. Somehow it feels like it was longer, those moments back with Stiles an eternity.

Derek slips away from the bank once he’s made sure everyone is alright, but before the cops get there. He watches from a nearby rooftop as cops swarm the place and shaken employees and bank customers are lead out to give statements and get checked over by EMT’s. He watches as they wrap a shock blanket around Stiles’ shoulders even as Stiles tries to walk around talking to the cops and witnesses. Eventually he settles down though, after an EMT wrangles him over to the back of an ambulance, forcing him to sit down and press a pad of gauze against his forehead where he must have taken a stray blow and were a small trickle of blood is oozing. The EMT gets called away, and Derek slips down, staying on the side of the ambulance that keeps him from view of everyone else, although after a moment Stiles apparently notices him and peers around the side of the ambulance door, rolling his eyes when he sees The Wolf in the shadows.

“What were you doing in the manager’s office all by yourself in the middle of a robbery,” Derek asks.

“I had an appointment with the manager,” Stiles says slowly. “His assistant brought me back and left me there. You can ask them. They’ll confirm my story.”

“Opening a big account were you?” Derek asks.

“I was looking into some financial discrepancies in the bank’s reports for the past few years since Deucalion opened an account there,” Stiles says.

“And you think the manager was just going to tell you a client’s confidential financial records?” Derek scoffs. People have been going after Deucalion for years with no luck.

“No, but the manager’s reaction to my questions about it might have been notable,” Stiles says.

“You’re not a detective,” Derek points out. “Why were you asking about this anyways.”

“I’m a journalist,” Stiles says, puffing up proudly. “I work for The Beacon Daily.”

“Little young for a reporter, aren’t you?” Derek says.

“It’s true I mostly get assigned puff pieces while I’m still a junior reporter, but I’ve had a few good bylines,” Stiles says. “Which you’d know if you kept up with the news.”

“I am the news,” Derek says, and has to physically stop himself from face-palming. Jesus christ he needs to get out of here before he embarasses himself further. “You should stay out of Deucalion’s business. Leave that to those of us who can handle someone that dangerous. I don’t want to have to rescue you again.”

“Honestly there’s enough of an incentive to go looking for trouble all on its own,” Stiles says slyly with a wink.

“Just stick to puff pieces for a while until things settle down please,” Derek says, grateful his mask covers his blushing cheeks.

“Settle down? In Beacon Hills?” Stiles scoffs. “That’s about as likely as you cracking a smile.”

“I smile,” Derek says, baring his teeth.

“I can see why my dad likes you, despite all the law breaking and shit,” Stiles says, gesturing at Derek’s whole being. “You should get going before he gets here. I imagine you have better things to do tonight than have him yell at you.”

“Yeah, I’ll let you have the honor of getting chewed out by the Commissioner tonight,” Derek says, backing away towards the shadows of the alley behind the ambulance. “And stop messing with the signal.”

“Just as soon as you two let me start coming to your little meetings,” Stiles shouts after him, and Derek shakes his head as he leaps up the fire escape of one of the alley’s buildings. In the darkness though where no one can see he does let himself smile, genuinely. This is bad,  he thinks. So very, very bad.

XX

Several days later, Derek is standing on the roof of the public library trying to make sense of recent events, of the uptick in crime, Peter’s escape and Laura’s recent insistence that they accept Stilinski’s standing offer to spend Thanksgiving with them this year, of the fact that Stiles is all grown up now, and is investigating crime through his journalism job and looking like that. Of what the hell The Spark could’ve wanted from the library he couldn’t have gotten during regular library hours.

It’s just when he’s started contemplating that last line of thought when all the hair on his arms and the back of his neck raises. Speak of the devil.

Derek turns slowly. He’s never encountered The Spark face to face, but he’s heard the stories of what it’s like to be around him. Unnerving, uncanny, are some of the words used to describe him, but hearing about it is one thing, experiencing it is another.

The air is practically crackling with power, and for the first time since The Spark had burst onto the scene and started stealing expensive shiny objects, Derek thinks that maybe he’s a true threat. That maybe he’s one of the bigger threats in the city even. He hasn’t hurt anyone yet, at least as far as anyone knows, but Derek faces down dangerous people every day, and right now even without a single punch thrown, the wolf inside him feels threatened, feels scared even.

When he’s finally turned and gets a good look at The Spark he feels surprised. He’s maybe Derek’s height or a little shorter, but he’s slim, visibly so even under the loose dark red cape flowing almost unnaturally around him. It’s like there’s a breeze around him that no one else can feel, the fabric flowing in gentle waves, the air around him shimmering. There are holsters strapped to one of his thighs, but they don’t appear to hold traditional weapons, instead holding glass tubes full of faintly shimmering substances it’s too dark for Derek to identify clearly.

“Spark,” Derek says, feeling dumb but unsure how else to start.

“Wolf,” The Spark says, and his voice is deep and melodious, but somehow wrong. Magically altered, Derek thinks. He sounds amused though, and Derek hopes that means that The Spark isn’t here to start a fight.

“Planning another break-in?” Derek asks. He can’t think why else The Spark would be back here.

“Just enjoying the view,” The Spark says. He takes a step forward and the light from the city should illuminate his face or any mask that he wears, but instead his face is just...a void. It’s unnerving, Derek thinks, feeling just as unable to describe what he’s seeing as everyone else who has encountered The Spark. He glances out at the city laid out beneath them though, using The Spark’s words as an excuse to glance away from the black hole that is his face.

“Wouldn’t have pegged you as having any city pride,” Derek says, turning back to him.

“Not that view,” The Spark says, giving Derek an obvious once-over.

“What do you want,” Derek says.

“You oh-so-heroically stopped an armed robbery at a bank the other day,” The Spark says.

“What of it,” Derek says. “They weren’t yours, were they? Last I checked you worked alone.”

“I do,” The Spark says. “But I’m beginning to rethink that.”

“I don’t steal things,” Derek says shortly. “And my services are not for hire.”

“Exactly,” The Spark says, snapping his fingers, literally sparks dropping from them. “Look while you were stopping a robbery, on the other side of the city one of the witnesses in the upcoming Alpha Twins trial was dying in a house fire.”

“I didn’t hear about this,” Derek says, annoyed. He can’t admit it, but it was Laura’s case and he’s surprised she hadn’t called to update him on this. It’s something they’ve both been working on in their respective fields.

“They only just identified the body,” The Spark says. “But whoever did it is two steps ahead of you, and three steps ahead of the cops.”

“You think the robbery was a distraction?” Derek asks.

“It certainly drew your attention, and the attention of half the on duty emergency personnel that day,” The Spark says.

“Why are you telling me this? And why do you care about any of this?” Derek asks. The Spark has gotten closer since they started talking and he has to resist the urge to take a step back. His eyes are glowing, he knows, and he has to force is fangs and claws back.

“Aren’t you tired of putting out small fires one after the other? Some crime will always be just random, it’s true, but there’s a pattern here with a lot of the recent activity if you know where to look,” The Spark says. “Half of these crimes are related. Some of them I think are distractions maybe, to keep you busy so you don’t look too hard at what’s really going on here or so you can’t prevent them from achieving their true goals. Don’t you want to put an end to it? Don’t you think it’s time we get to the source? Pull this evil out by the root instead of running around and cleaning up after them?”

“Oh and that’s what you’ve been doing all this time? Stopping crime? By stealing things?” Derek asks. “The whole cat burglar thing is what, a misdirect?”

“I mean it’s easier to slip by unnoticed as an actual threat when everyone thinks you’re just in it for the money,” The Spark admits with a shrug. “But also I like shiny things. And I like the idea that the people sucking this city dry like leeches would bankroll their own downfall. They’re not the only ones who can use distractions to their benefit. I’ve been gathering information. And I think it’s time we start pooling our resources.”

“How do you know you can trust me?” Derek asks. “I could be working for whoever you’re trying to take down. Or if I’m not what’s to stop me from just hauling you in to the police.”

“You? A criminal? Please,” The Spark scoffs. “And as for the cops well...I don’t think any charges would stick.”

It’s not an overt threat, but considering the power humming in the air, it gives Derek pause.

“You should know I work with the Commissioner,” Derek says. “I won’t let you hurt him or any of his cops.”

“What about the dirty ones,” The Spark mutters, but then shakes his head. “Look you don’t have to worry about the Commissioner. I want him out of this entirely. You can keep talking to him about petty crime, but the less he knows about this thread we’re unspooling the safer he is.”

“How do I know you’re not playing me,” Derek says. It’s true that The Spark’s recent activities have been unusual, and it’s true that Derek has begun to try to map out the threads of the recent criminal activity, his gut telling him something more is going on even if he hasn’t been able to put his finger on it exactly.

“You don’t,” The Spark says, and even through the dark void that is his face and the strange hollow quality to his voice, Derek can almost feel his sharp grin. “Guess you’ll just have to trust me.”

“I doubt you trust me, even if you want to work with me,” Derek says. “And I don’t trust you.”

“Fine,” The Spark says. “But even if you don’t trust me, you do at least believe what I’m saying.”

“Maybe,” Derek allows. “Tell me what you know, and we’ll go from there.”

“With pleasure,” The Spark says, air crackling around him. “Partner.”

[archived-azarovsslayer]

What did each survivor do to get here?

“Dey each a’e he’e because of sins committed in life, even if dey demselves deny it.” If Philip had learned of the treachery of Evans father, Sally’s lost husband, and horrible truth of the little girls in the red forest before he had ever questioned his fellow hunters then it was true that the spirit world did not hold secrets from those that walked in it. The same was true for survivors as over time the spirit hunter saw as their literal shadow within the spirit world would flicker and reveal secrets of the past. “But if you wish to know specifics, I can elaborate.”

“De’e Leada lived a life of sloth, I saw him throw away talents in life in place of chasing wild dreams and failing dismally. I think it’s only now dat he realises da truth, as da pain of his self ineptitude follows him everywhere.”         

“Da runna is arrogant and brash, someone who would keep moving forward instead of stopping to learn from her past. De’e was a moment she could have captured a great destiny, but without thinking she left dat purpose to rot, dat act has stranded her in dis place.”

“Jake has always been reckless and selfish, he too was given an opportunity fo’ greatness and drew it away fo’ his own want. He wanted to live a life fo’ himself away f’om humanity and now pays fo’ it wid his blood.”

“Da Botanist is vain, not in da stereotypical sense but in da way she will cling to othas fo’ her own gain. She wasn’t like this in life, but sometimes people a’e sent to dis place to be tested, and she is one dat fails are her own redemption.”  

“Karlsson is nihilistically chaotic she cares not of her own kin who she believes forsook her for deir own wants. Sometimes I have doubts as to why some of da victims a’e he’e but I have seen first hand of Nea’s sins when she burned down da asylum wid Sally and herself inside.”

“Laurie is someone who I in some sense understand. I know what it’s like to lose friends, and I know what it’s like to seek revenge. Da difference between us is I choose to stop, and she did not.”

“Visconti should be an easy case to understand, a gambla, greedy, and ill content wid what he had. It’s not surprising dat a man like him is he’e as dat luck he clings to doesn’t exist it’s only a divulging path of fate.”

“Bill is simila’ dough unlike Ace’s poison he indulged in da much deadlier sin of wrath. I saw visions of him in war delighting in slaughta, and when he went back to his home country he could neva settle wid peace.”

“Feng Min is anotha consumed by her ego. So consumed wid climbing to da top of her ‘game’ she left behind everyone dat cared about her, and widout dem she fell. She still believes she can become da greatest in dis place, when time itself works against her.”

“There might be some people who we’e always just doomed to exist he’e, I believe David is one of dose people. He has been violent towards eva’ything he takes part, a habit dat has been so natural to him I am unsure if he can even change his own nature.”

“The most interesting of late has been Quentin, sent he’e by his own fanaticism but damned by something much diffe’ent dan da othas. Da boy learned secrets of a world most humans neva see, but he broke his promise and did not keep dem to himself. Fo’ a long time he evaded his hunta, but all who fall onto da path to come to dis place will enta it eventually.”

The Wraith pauses for a moment, kneading his hands towards. “However fo’ as many dings as I have learned about da othas dat dwell in dese lands, I am still unsure if dese reasons a’e da full truth. Perhaps all da visions I see a’e false and it was a completely diffe’ent hand of fate dat lead us all he’e. I do know dis howeva, da Gods have a great purpose fo’ humanity dat all of us need to take part in.” His voice suddenly turns cold and his gaze wanders off towards the distance. “As unfair as it seems, I know all dose dat exist in dis reality have failed da God’s plan in some way. Da difference is if we can still find oua purpose in da end.”

[ramctheatheist]

Bala’s Netherworld

During a rare television interview, while Bala shifted in his seat, the interviewer noticed some strange beads around his neck. When questioned about it, Bala said, “It was given to me by an aghori from Kasi. They’re people who eat dead bodies but isn’t there an artist inside everyone? He eats one person every other day, collects a small piece of bone from each carcass, shaves it patiently into the shape of a skull and keeps it with him. Once he collected 108 such pieces, each from a different person, he strung it into a chain and gifted it to me.”

That’s filmmaker Bala for you. He began his career as an assistant to Balu Mahendra (the director of Sadma. We’ll delve into his films in a later article!). He went on to make his first film Sethu in 1999 and until today, in a span of 18 years, he’s made only 7 films. His fourth film Naan Kadavul earned him the National Film Award for Best Direction in 2010.

To understand Bala and his work further, here are two films you can begin with.

Naan Kadavul

Naan Kadavul has two parallel story arcs that come together in the end. One is the story of Rudran, a boy deserted in Varanasi by his parents, who grows to become an aghori and returns to his native village in South India on the bidding of his guru. “You’ll know when it’s time to return,” his guru tells him. The other story arc is that of a blind beggar girl and her begging cohort, who’re kept enslaved in a dingy, underground den by Thaandavan.

Trivia: Rudran, the aghori played by Arya in the film, wears the same chain of skulls as Bala.

Pithamagan

Pithamagan is the story of Chithan, an orphan who grows up in a graveyard and befriends Shakthi, who makes a living by selling petty items with cooked-up stories. There’s also a woman who sells drugs and a simpleton girl who gets easily duped. The film explores the bonds that form between these four misfits and whether Chithan can fit into normal society.

A song from Pithamagan gives you a beautiful snapshot of their relationship.

Watching these two films will give you a taste of Bala and help you easily identify five distinct tropes that make his films stand out.

Raw Realism

From the plots of Naan Kadavul and Pithamagan, it must be apparent that Bala tends to focus on lives of people we brush aside out of fear or repulsion. His characters are people we rarely encounter or have no need to meet. They’re people who either step aside or have been forced to stand aside. Yet, when they appear on screen, they feel real and close to us. This realism is Bala’s biggest strength and has stuck on as his identity. Other Tamil filmmakers from the realism wave like Balaji Sakthivel, Vetrimaran and Manikandan present a carefully constructed and chiselled realism. Bala’s films meander with a certain unrestrained rawness, just like his characters. These rough edges around the corner make his films more realistic.

While portraying reality, he doesn’t pity his characters and neither does he want you to pity them. There’s no attempt to make realism seem poetic. Naan Kadavul nudges us to take notice of the world under our feet, the world we look away from as we saunter off after dropping the customary coin. In fact, in Naan Kadavul the beggars hate being pitied. You won’t notice a single shot in which Bala shows you the face of a person feeling sorry. You’ll only see coins dropping into bowls or legs walking past them. There’s even a moment when a beggar remarks, “These people who visit the temple believe dharma will save them and give us money. Let’s have some pity for them and accept their alms so they’re saved!”

Trivia: Anurag Kashyap felt inspired by the realistic portrayal of his hometown Varanasi in Naan Kadavul.

Solitary Netherworlds

Each one of Bala’s films can be seen as an elaborate depiction of a living hell. Sethu was the story of a man, who escapes from a mental asylum after regaining his sanity, only to realise his lover is dead. Nandha is the story of a young boy who kills his abusive father, only to lose his mother’s love forever. In Paradesi, a bunch of people migrate to a tea estate in the hopes of improving their standard of living only to realise they’re hopelessly enslaved for the rest of their lives. His films keep revisiting the same point that life is an arduous, never-ending journey from one suffering to another. His characters are almost always like bugs caught within a glass jar with a flame burning at its centre. They keep trying to climb out of it but keep falling back into the fire. The netherworld-like underground den in Naan Kadavul is the perfect visual representation of Bala’s entire gamut of films. You walk down a few dark steps, enter this underground lair and you’ll find each of Bala’s characters down there, whimpering in their solitary hells.

Cunning Commercialism

Bala’s protagonists are almost always larger-than-life heroes. They have the traditional intro songs that are staples of a Vijay or Ajith film. For example, the lyrics of Rudran’s Om Sivoham or Chithan’s Piraiye Piraiye help us understand the background of these characters but also gives them ample hype. In fact, Om Sivoham’s lyrics are completely in Sanskrit, blaring out the supreme qualities of Lord Shiva! He doesn’t shy away from staging stunt sequences in a grand manner with camera angles carefully orchestrated to create whistle-worthy moments. He keeps his plots very simple, just like commercial films. Plot merely functions as a cloth that’s draped around his beautifully naked characters, almost like an afterthought. Vikram in Pithamagan and Arya in Naan Kadavul are classic masala hero template characters. Just like mass heroes nothing can shake them and they’ll go to any extent to have revenge upon the villain or kill the bad guys. They even assume mythic proportions as mentioned by Baradwaj Rangan in his review of Naan Kadavul. But, what fuels them is something different from a regular mass hero. Chithan’s strength is from the awareness that everyone ends up in the grave eventually. Rudran’s strength is from his transcendental spiritual enlightenment that he has no boundaries. The peculiar backgrounds of these characters make you believe that they possess superhuman strength. He makes you wish that the bad guys must be destroyed and that gives a satisfactory pay-off when they’re butchered in the climax.

While still being larger-than-life, Bala’s protagonists also break the stereotypes. They’re invariably misfits or outcasts. They’re shabby, rugged and don’t refrain from speaking coarse language. Rudran in Naan Kadavul doesn’t care about his weeping mother, which is usually a big no-no if you want to get female votes in a future election. Arya as Kumbindrensamy in Avan Ivan is the exact opposite, perhaps even a mockery, of the chocolate boy he’s played in other films. This celebration scene should give you a feel of his character.

Trivia: In an interview, Bala confessed that he realised much later after making Pithamagan that its plot closely resembled Ram Gopal Varma’s Satya - two characters meet in a prison, have an initial tiff, become friends, one of them is killed and the other takes revenge.

Ridiculing the absurdity of life

Bala’s films are usually classified as tragedies. But, it’d be more apt to classify them as “tragedy with a heavy dose of ridicule”. He makes us laugh at misery and wade through the absurdity of life with irreverence. That’s what the beggars in Naan Kadavul do. Making the beggars dress up as gods and rebuke each other was a riot. Even in Pithamagan when we laugh at Suriya’s antics in trying to sell all kinds of weird and wacky concoctions to unsuspecting customers, we’re laughing not at Suriya but at ourselves and our tendencies to be easily fooled. And in Avan Ivan, Walter Vanangamudi (Vishal) who calls himself an artist is taunted by his mother for being a hapless bumpkin who can’t steal to make a living. If you view Vishal’s character as representing a filmmaker who’s true to art and Arya’s character to be a commercial filmmaker who knows the tricks of the trade, then you’ll understand the depth of satire embedded in Avan Ivan’s narrative.

Trivia: When an interviewer asked Mani Ratnam why his films seem to portray only elite characters and not the underprivileged (kind of a dumb question), he retorted “Aren’t other directors like Bala doing that very well? Then why should I?” (The Mani Ratnam interview)

Embedded Narratives

Traditionally, realistic films have always been mere reflections of society or about specific human emotions. But, Bala’s films portray realism while at the same time transcending it and speaking of an eternal agony that tortures the human soul. Let’s take the final pan shot of the tea estate in Paradesi’s climax. Here’s a man who’s wailing for his family that’s joined him in his misery and the pan shot is literally showing you his wail travel across the entire tea estate dotted with other workers. If you pause for a moment and consider the tea estate to be a metaphor for the human world, then the narrative assumes a much larger philosophical dimension. Bala has been adept at tucking hidden dimensions beneath the rug of realism in every film. On the surface, Thaarai Thappattai is a love story gone horribly wrong but it’s also an exploration of how each generation thinks its subsequent generation is a degraded version of itself. In Nandha, while there’s the story of a man yearning for his mother’s love at the forefront, there’s a woman refugee in the background with no place to call home. And the best embedded narrative is in Naan Kadavul. It raises the bigger question of who’s the real beggar. The lyrics of Pitchai Paathiram that metaphorise the human body as a begging bowl make the bigger point that all humans are beggars seeking divine deliverance. And in that grand scheme of things, the distinctions of pure, impure, rich, poor, well-built and handicapped crumble. It’s exactly what Rudran says in Naan Kadavul when a fellow accuses him of tarnishing fire. “Is there clean and unclean fire? Fire is just fire.”

Bala also tends to embed a variety of inspirations into his narrative. His first film Sethu was inspired from a Malayalam short story ‘Iruttinte Atmavu’ by MT Vasudevan Nair, a Tamil poem by Arivumathi and a real-life experience. Naan Kadavul is loosely based on ‘Ezham Ulagam’, a novel by Jeyamohan that details the lives of Pandaram, his family and begging cohort. The first couple of chapters of this novel will shock you with the portrayal of the lives of these characters but as you read further you’re drawn into their world. Naan Kadavul’s screenplay has a similar structure. There’s the initial jolt you feel when the camera first moves into Thaandavan’s den but you gradually begin to love the characters and enjoy their little moments of joy. Jayankanthan’s short story ‘Nandhavanathil Or Aandi’ deals with how a grave digger is not moved by deaths but when his son dies at a very young age, he’s completely broken. He’s tormented by visions of all the dead children he has buried, rising up from the graves and dancing in front of him. To find out how Bala adapts this scenario without resorting to outlandish visuals, watch the film!

Trivia: Bala is a graduate in Tamil literature from Madurai American College.

In a way, Bala’s films are like Buddhist tales from the past. These stories were always about people who were disillusioned and after some suffering invariably they’d end up at the feet of Buddha, become a disciple, meditate and attain nirvana. One such tale is that of Kisa Gotami. The distraught lady who went to the Buddha, begging him to bring her dead son back to life. Buddha asks her to fetch mustard seeds from a family where nobody had died. She searches far and wide and finally realises there’s not a single house that hasn’t known death. She returns to the Buddha with this realisation, becomes his disciple and attains nirvana. Had this been a Bala film, the story would pretty much be the same. Except that Gotami would still be searching for those mustard seeds, hoping she can revive her son, roaming the earth in eternal agony. And you’d watch his film, not because you can shed tears for Gotami, but because Bala will make you feel Gotami and you are one and the same.

***

Links to watch Bala’s Movies

Sethu on Youtube Nandha on Youtube Pithamagan on Herotalkies Naan Kadavul on Youtube | Naan Kadavul on Tentkotta Avan Ivan on Tentkotta Paradesi on Youtube Thaarai Thappattai on Tentkotta

References

Bala’s Interview on Puthiya Thalaimurai, in which he mentions the gift from an aghori

Bala’s BOFTA masterclass, in which he shares several insights on his films

Ezham Ulagam, the novel by Jeyamohan on which Naan Kadavul is loosely based

Nandhavanathil Or Aandi, the short story by Jeyakanthan that inspired Pithamagan’s Chithan character

Baradwaj Rangan’s take on Naan Kadavul

Baradwaj Rangan’s review of Pithamagan

A few articles by Jeyamohan clarifying certain portions of Naan Kadavul http://www.jeyamohan.in/1179 http://www.jeyamohan.in/1873 http://www.jeyamohan.in/1869

My heartfelt thanks to my friends N Balasubramanian, Venkataraman, Ganesh Babu and Ajay Vignesh for their inputs that greatly inspired me in writing this piece.

An edited version of this piece can be found here.

[adambstingus]

The ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’ Series Is Deeper Than You Know

In a genre dominated by Jason Vorhees and his quest to rid the world of topless camp counselors, the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise was a breath of fresh air. Not only was it a little more supernatural than the wave of Michael Myers clones, but it had a neat gimmick: the killer, Freddy Krueger, could only kill you if you were asleep. That sounds old hat now, but in 1984, just the idea of something other than forest axe murders on screen was cause for intense celebration.

But little did viewers realize that, beneath the puns and fantastical dream stabbings, there was an allegory about what it’s like to grow up. Tired, horny teenagers might have been getting murdered by a burn victim with a butcher shop for a hand, but in the grander scheme of things, they were just playing out their roles in a larger tale that starts with puberty and ends at death.

9

A Nightmare On Elm Street: Puberty

Childhood was great. You loved every peace-ridden, blissful moment of that Popsicle-sucking summertime innocence. But hold on to your blossoming privates, because puberty is here to literally tongue kiss you through a phone. That scene is probably the most explicit that the metaphor gets, as the protagonist Nancy reacts exactly how everyone still trying to understand puberty reacts when they first hear about tongue kissing: EW, TONGUE. EW, BOYFRIEND? EW, YOU CAN DO THAT? EW, FREDDY KRUEGER. That last one might just be her, but Freddy Krueger is nothing if not the slasher genre’s answer to that weird older dude who keeps telling you how “mature you are for your age” while trying to palm your thigh.

The movie is full of this. Tina, Nancy’s best friend and the movie’s obligatory “You ain’t cool unless you’re MAKING OUT!” character, wakes up with a tattered night gown after dreaming about Freddy Krueger chasing her. Soon, all of the teens realize they’ve all been dreaming about Freddy Krueger, our little puberty Sandman. And as with puberty, no one is initially equipped to deal with him in the slightest.

As the movie progresses, the looming presence of sex starts to dominate how Freddy menaces the teens. While Nancy is sleeping, we see Freddy appear over her bed, the wall resembling a rubbery condom that a nasty little demon head is trying to poke through.

The viewer is even present for a scene representative of Nancy’s first period. As Nancy lays in the bathtub asleep, Freddy’s clawed glove breaks through the surface of the water between her open legs. This isn’t just one of the most intense scenes in horror history. It’s clear foreshadowing of all the trouble that’s about to happen between your legs. From periods to wet dreams, they’re the first milestones that will take the allegorical teenager down a snowballing Domino Rally of confusion and destruction that’ll last anywhere from 10-70 years.

8

A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge: Sexuality

As Cracked and even the film’s director pointed out, there is a ton of homoerotic subtext in A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. Nancy, from the first film, is gone and in her place is Jesse, a teen stuck in the throes of self-doubt about his sexuality.

Jesse has something inside of him that prevents him from doing the condom-collide with his strikingly hot girlfriend, Lisa. Right off the bat, Jesse gets whacked in the head with a baseball bat while watching a guy shake his ass. Seconds later, he and his new friend Grady are trying to tear each other’s clothes off. And the gym coach who seems to be paid a salary to watch boys’ hips during push-ups? He is stripped naked in a locker room shower before he’s murdered, which must have been quite odd for the people who were used to Freddy just pulling teens through beds and turning them into blood geysers.

New Line Cinema “This is, ummm, different.”

We start seeing Jesse’s nightmares where Freddy tells him that he needs his body. With a touch of the glove, Freddy is officially inside of Jesse and that closet door opens right up. Jesse’s parents have numerous conversation about how there’s something wrong with him, and they’re all too eager to leave him alone in his bedroom with his girlfriend. Note to parents who think their kids might be gay: Not a great thing to do. Be a little more chill about it, dudes.

After a full movie of conflicting feelings, Jesse takes the plunge and tries hooking up with his girlfriend in the cabana during her pool party. But the “thing inside him” comes out and he can’t go through with it. He runs away to Grady’s house, who is topless in bed and accuses Jesse of wanting to sleep with him. Jesse can’t get past the confusion. The only thing left to do is for the movie to break its own rules by allowing Freddy to come into the real world in a burst of fire. A lot of people have tried to explain how this fits in with the series’ internal logic, but the best reason for it still remains “It was 1985, man.”

The film ends with Jesse finding himself on the back of Freddy’s dream bus, being taken on a ride to his inescapable destiny. It’s a pleasant note to end on as the series transitions away from dealing with sexuality and moves onto self-discovery. And by “self-discovery,” we mean lots and lots of drugs.

7

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors: Self-Discovery (aka DRUGS)

The teens in Dream Warriors aren’t the hapless, “I love THE MALL” suburban kids from the first two films. No, this new batch lives in an asylum, which means that they are trapped with their own neuroses, struggling to obtain some kind of self-discovery. And like with some teens, the urge to find out “who you are” on a level deeper than “Well, I like pizza more than hot dogs,” means experimentation and some remarkably questionable risk taking.

Kristen and her fellow inmate friends are seeing Freddy in their dreams. But no one in the hospital believes them, until, like an ethereal goddess, Nancy, our hero from the first Nightmare, emerges. She not only identifies with the teens, she is an interning counselor who wants to help the kids murder Freddy when she realizes he’s back. And while the movie makes it seem like she’s pretty solid, the overall well-being of the asylum’s residents doesn’t necessarily benefit from her presence.

In a world of drug addicts and delusion, Nancy is a drug dealer. She feeds into these teenagers’ fears and continuously draws them back into the dream world, where Freddy is waiting to off them in an endless array of ironic ways. Addicted to TV? “Welcome to prime time, bitch.” Hooked on Dungeons & Dragons? Freddy literally tries run you over with a magic wheelchair. And whereas Nancy in the first movie was symbolic of puberty and hormonal awakening, here she is murdered by Freddy, swiftly and with hardly a moment of recognition. Don’t do drugs, kids.

6

A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master: College

It’s easy to end high school full of confidence, and then start college suddenly realizing that everything you formerly loved is lame and now your entire personality is up for grabs. When college begins, we often transform into a sponge, this mass Katamari conglomerate consisting of cheap beer, hacky sacks, and the thoughts and opinions of everybody around you.

As characters are killed off one by one, the protagonist Alice manages to absorb some kind of personality trait or physical ability from each of them, such as Kristen’s ability to pull people into dreams, Rick’s mean karate skills, and Sheila’s ability to rock a killer sweatband. That is a huge part of college: finding yourself … your style, personality, friends. Most of who you will become as an adult is built around college experimentation, allowing yourself to try on new personalities like hats until you find the one that makes you … well, you.

College is also a time of increased and liberated sexuality for many people. When Sheila succumbs to Freddy in her nightmare, she dies when he sucks face with her, which really pushes the “You should date around!” advice that most young people get. But sexy Freddy doesn’t stop there. From climbing into bed with Alice to whispering “I believe in you” in Debbie’s ears while she’s jerking off some free weights, liberated pleasure rolls off Freddy’s face right up until the final battle where Alice is kicking his ass and he seems pretty excited about it. But don’t stand too close to Freddy when he’s that excited. You just might roll over in his wet dream and find yourself stuck with a baby.

5

A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child: Parenthood

In a rare move for slasher sequels, The Dream Child finds us still hanging with Alice. But while she didn’t get slaughtered, she did get pregnant. And Alice isn’t the only one in this movie with baby fever. We learn the story of Amanda Krueger, a nun who worked in an asylum and was raped by “a hundred maniacs.” She became pregnant and because this series is dead set on removing joy at any cost, Fred Krueger was born.

As you’d expect, Alice’s pregnancy is not one of hope, but one of angst and impending doom. We’re barely into our twenties at this point in the life cycle. For the first time since puberty, your Freddy dreams are unreliable, since a common pregnancy symptom is, in fact, weird dreams. Alice’s baby-daddy, Dan, is seen hanging out with his friends, just drinking and having a great time, when Alice calls to tell him that Freddy’s come back, which is only a little more sobering than “Could you pick up something from the grocery store?” With that, we’re sent into a downward spiral of adult responsibilities. Kiss your friends goodbye — it’s just you and your pregnant girlfriend forever. Just not for Dan, because Freddy kills him. And then possesses his body. And then asks Alice “Wanna make babies?”

Freddy also becomes a talking bike. Nothing to do with parenthood, but important, nonetheless.

Freddy’s baby obsession reaches its peak when he kills a girl named Greta by stuffing her with food while she’s seated in a highchair. He then drapes her over his shoulder and burps her TO DEATH.

Alice physically forces Freddy out of her and Freddy is torn apart by his infinity-trillion crazy daddies, and his evil spirit goes inside the ghost of his mommy, Amanda. In a final act of baby defiance, Freddy gives his mom an automatic C-section by tearing his glove through her stomach. Childbirth. Truly a miracle.

4

Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare: Adulthood

College is over. You’re leaving your twenties. You’ve had some kids. You dabbled in strange careers that you thought would stick and define you, but by god, Robert’s Anime And Taco Shop closed in three weeks. The Final Nightmare represents all of your choices falling apart. It opens with an airplane crumbling mid-flight while Freddy flies by on a broomstick shouting, “I’ll get you my pretty, and your little soul too!,” which is about as life fall-ey apart-ey as it can get.

By now, Freddy is a caricature of himself, as seen when the trademark ’90s teen stoner falls asleep and dreams he’s in a video game. There he’s controlled and killed by Freddy who is using a Nintendo Power Glove. This movie is a nostalgic 30-year-old trying to prove to 15-year-olds that, yeah, he’s still hip. He knows the video games. “Nintendo” is the name of that little plumber, right?

The female lead, Maggie, is Freddy’s long-lost daughter. And she hates him, probably as she should. In time, your kids will resent you, too. Your life’s a mess and you’re driving in circles, just like in the character Carlos’ dream about the never-ending nightmare map. There’s seemingly no escape.

3

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare: Middle Age

New Nightmare isn’t necessarily a sequel to the the previous Nightmare films. Instead, it exists in a world where the other films are, well, films, and Freddy is a pop-culture icon. The years have rolled by and Freddy movie after Freddy movie has come out, throwing us headlong into a world where it feels like you’re stuck doing the same thing over and over again.

The actress that played Nancy (Heather Langenkamp) plays herself, and she’s pretty sick of the Freddy character, too. She gets even sicker of him when she finds out that Freddy has leaked out into the “real world” and is now an actual detriment to the life of her and her son. You do your job for years, it provides for you, and it’s seemingly only beneficial. And then you arrive at middle age and realize that it’s made you a nervous wreck of a person. Also, it’s unleashed a burn-faced dream goblin that’s out to off your child. The 401k is pretty handy, though.

At the last second, Heather ends up finally slaying Krueger and returning him to his fictitious world. She refuses to let a piece-of-shit job/dream goblin define her and overtake her life and ruin her relationship with her son. Unlike the earlier films which ended with the theme of “Freddy’s still around, life is hopeless, and enjoy the suck!,” New Nightmare ends with the message that even when you’re deep in the butthole of adulthood, you can still swim out of the shit.

2

Freddy Vs. Jason: Late Middle Age And Your High School Reunion

You’re invited to the party of near-elderly irrelevance by Freddy himself with an opening monologue that puts others to shame, giving us a history of his murder sprees and complaining that he can’t come back if no one remembers him. Being forgotten blows, so let’s all get together for old time’s sake.

The protagonist, Lori, is the first one smart enough to remember Freddy’s name. At first, Freddy tries to use Jason’s lumbering death corpse to give him power to come back, but when Jason starts stealing Freddy’s targets, it gets him real pissed. Jason wasn’t supposed to be the guy that could still break dance at the reunion! Freddy was supposed to bust a move.

New Line Cinema If this movie had been made a decade earlier, they ABSOLUTELY would’ve had a dance-off at this moment.

But the proof that this movie knows you’re old and lame is in its need to spell everything out for you. Like the scene at the table where they’re talking about how Freddy brought Jason back, how Freddy is afraid of fire and Jason fears water, so how can we use that? They might as well have been shouting into your hearing aid. “Back in my day, the Nightmare films were ‘The Dream Something‘ and Reagan was Jesus!”

The final battle really feels like closure on our pasts, even if we can all see it for what it really is: two old men fighting. It makes you remember how you got here. You feel at peace.

1

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010 Remake): Old Age And Death

At long last, you’ve made it to the end. And this remake is the tumbling demise of someone nearing the end of existence. You’re about to die, but you’re just grasping onto that final financial breath. Some kind of strange attempt to prove to everyone that you can be something more or something different. But by now, you don’t need reinventing or fixing. You need to look back at your life and celebrate the best parts. Like all those glorious practical effects that have been buried here to make room for shitty CGI.

In typical “gritty reboot” fashion, Freddy’s “realistic” burn makeup is so thick that it renders him expressionless. Yet, he sure is a chatty dream murderer this time around. Reboot Freddy just talks too damn much. Like he didn’t expect anyone to actually come over, and he’s taking advantage of the company. He’s trying to get it all out before he can’t do it anymore.

The adults are too nice, and the teens in this movie are all bored drug addicts, which is the general world view of anyone who’s retired to watch a constant stream of TV Land and Fox News. In the final battle, when Nancy screams to Freddy, “You’re in my world now, bitch,” we realize that we’re probably already dead. And in Hell. Because never has there been a more flat and apathetic delivery in a Nightmare On Elm Street movie.

With that line, the series dies, and we’re ready to leave it and its allegory for life behind. We’ve been through nine movies that have guided us from puberty through death, and we’ve killed a lot of teenagers in between. Thanks, Freddy, for showing us the way.

You can find Loryn haunting Twitter.

The proliferation of beer pong and craft beer may have you think that we’re living in one of the peak times to get drunk, but humans have been getting famously hammered for millennia. Like a frat house’s lawn after a kegger, history is littered with world changing events that were secretly powered by booze. The inaugural games of the Roman Coliseum, the drafting of the US Constitution and the Russian Revolution were all capped off by major parties that most attendees probably regretted in the morning.

Join Jack O’Brien and Cracked staffers Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt, Michael Swaim, plus comedian Blake Wexler for a retelling of history’s biggest moments you didn’t realize everyone was drunk for.

Get your tickets here:

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-nightmare-on-elm-street-series-is-deeper-than-you-know/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/179366889377

[allofbeercom]

The ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’ Series Is Deeper Than You Know

In a genre dominated by Jason Vorhees and his quest to rid the world of topless camp counselors, the Nightmare On Elm Street franchise was a breath of fresh air. Not only was it a little more supernatural than the wave of Michael Myers clones, but it had a neat gimmick: the killer, Freddy Krueger, could only kill you if you were asleep. That sounds old hat now, but in 1984, just the idea of something other than forest axe murders on screen was cause for intense celebration.

But little did viewers realize that, beneath the puns and fantastical dream stabbings, there was an allegory about what it’s like to grow up. Tired, horny teenagers might have been getting murdered by a burn victim with a butcher shop for a hand, but in the grander scheme of things, they were just playing out their roles in a larger tale that starts with puberty and ends at death.

9

A Nightmare On Elm Street: Puberty

Childhood was great. You loved every peace-ridden, blissful moment of that Popsicle-sucking summertime innocence. But hold on to your blossoming privates, because puberty is here to literally tongue kiss you through a phone. That scene is probably the most explicit that the metaphor gets, as the protagonist Nancy reacts exactly how everyone still trying to understand puberty reacts when they first hear about tongue kissing: EW, TONGUE. EW, BOYFRIEND? EW, YOU CAN DO THAT? EW, FREDDY KRUEGER. That last one might just be her, but Freddy Krueger is nothing if not the slasher genre’s answer to that weird older dude who keeps telling you how “mature you are for your age” while trying to palm your thigh.

The movie is full of this. Tina, Nancy’s best friend and the movie’s obligatory “You ain’t cool unless you’re MAKING OUT!” character, wakes up with a tattered night gown after dreaming about Freddy Krueger chasing her. Soon, all of the teens realize they’ve all been dreaming about Freddy Krueger, our little puberty Sandman. And as with puberty, no one is initially equipped to deal with him in the slightest.

As the movie progresses, the looming presence of sex starts to dominate how Freddy menaces the teens. While Nancy is sleeping, we see Freddy appear over her bed, the wall resembling a rubbery condom that a nasty little demon head is trying to poke through.

The viewer is even present for a scene representative of Nancy’s first period. As Nancy lays in the bathtub asleep, Freddy’s clawed glove breaks through the surface of the water between her open legs. This isn’t just one of the most intense scenes in horror history. It’s clear foreshadowing of all the trouble that’s about to happen between your legs. From periods to wet dreams, they’re the first milestones that will take the allegorical teenager down a snowballing Domino Rally of confusion and destruction that’ll last anywhere from 10-70 years.

8

A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge: Sexuality

As Cracked and even the film’s director pointed out, there is a ton of homoerotic subtext in A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge. Nancy, from the first film, is gone and in her place is Jesse, a teen stuck in the throes of self-doubt about his sexuality.

Jesse has something inside of him that prevents him from doing the condom-collide with his strikingly hot girlfriend, Lisa. Right off the bat, Jesse gets whacked in the head with a baseball bat while watching a guy shake his ass. Seconds later, he and his new friend Grady are trying to tear each other’s clothes off. And the gym coach who seems to be paid a salary to watch boys’ hips during push-ups? He is stripped naked in a locker room shower before he’s murdered, which must have been quite odd for the people who were used to Freddy just pulling teens through beds and turning them into blood geysers.

New Line Cinema “This is, ummm, different.”

We start seeing Jesse’s nightmares where Freddy tells him that he needs his body. With a touch of the glove, Freddy is officially inside of Jesse and that closet door opens right up. Jesse’s parents have numerous conversation about how there’s something wrong with him, and they’re all too eager to leave him alone in his bedroom with his girlfriend. Note to parents who think their kids might be gay: Not a great thing to do. Be a little more chill about it, dudes.

After a full movie of conflicting feelings, Jesse takes the plunge and tries hooking up with his girlfriend in the cabana during her pool party. But the “thing inside him” comes out and he can’t go through with it. He runs away to Grady’s house, who is topless in bed and accuses Jesse of wanting to sleep with him. Jesse can’t get past the confusion. The only thing left to do is for the movie to break its own rules by allowing Freddy to come into the real world in a burst of fire. A lot of people have tried to explain how this fits in with the series’ internal logic, but the best reason for it still remains “It was 1985, man.”

The film ends with Jesse finding himself on the back of Freddy’s dream bus, being taken on a ride to his inescapable destiny. It’s a pleasant note to end on as the series transitions away from dealing with sexuality and moves onto self-discovery. And by “self-discovery,” we mean lots and lots of drugs.

7

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors: Self-Discovery (aka DRUGS)

The teens in Dream Warriors aren’t the hapless, “I love THE MALL” suburban kids from the first two films. No, this new batch lives in an asylum, which means that they are trapped with their own neuroses, struggling to obtain some kind of self-discovery. And like with some teens, the urge to find out “who you are” on a level deeper than “Well, I like pizza more than hot dogs,” means experimentation and some remarkably questionable risk taking.

Kristen and her fellow inmate friends are seeing Freddy in their dreams. But no one in the hospital believes them, until, like an ethereal goddess, Nancy, our hero from the first Nightmare, emerges. She not only identifies with the teens, she is an interning counselor who wants to help the kids murder Freddy when she realizes he’s back. And while the movie makes it seem like she’s pretty solid, the overall well-being of the asylum’s residents doesn’t necessarily benefit from her presence.

In a world of drug addicts and delusion, Nancy is a drug dealer. She feeds into these teenagers’ fears and continuously draws them back into the dream world, where Freddy is waiting to off them in an endless array of ironic ways. Addicted to TV? “Welcome to prime time, bitch.” Hooked on Dungeons & Dragons? Freddy literally tries run you over with a magic wheelchair. And whereas Nancy in the first movie was symbolic of puberty and hormonal awakening, here she is murdered by Freddy, swiftly and with hardly a moment of recognition. Don’t do drugs, kids.

6

A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master: College

It’s easy to end high school full of confidence, and then start college suddenly realizing that everything you formerly loved is lame and now your entire personality is up for grabs. When college begins, we often transform into a sponge, this mass Katamari conglomerate consisting of cheap beer, hacky sacks, and the thoughts and opinions of everybody around you.

As characters are killed off one by one, the protagonist Alice manages to absorb some kind of personality trait or physical ability from each of them, such as Kristen’s ability to pull people into dreams, Rick’s mean karate skills, and Sheila’s ability to rock a killer sweatband. That is a huge part of college: finding yourself … your style, personality, friends. Most of who you will become as an adult is built around college experimentation, allowing yourself to try on new personalities like hats until you find the one that makes you … well, you.

College is also a time of increased and liberated sexuality for many people. When Sheila succumbs to Freddy in her nightmare, she dies when he sucks face with her, which really pushes the “You should date around!” advice that most young people get. But sexy Freddy doesn’t stop there. From climbing into bed with Alice to whispering “I believe in you” in Debbie’s ears while she’s jerking off some free weights, liberated pleasure rolls off Freddy’s face right up until the final battle where Alice is kicking his ass and he seems pretty excited about it. But don’t stand too close to Freddy when he’s that excited. You just might roll over in his wet dream and find yourself stuck with a baby.

5

A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child: Parenthood

In a rare move for slasher sequels, The Dream Child finds us still hanging with Alice. But while she didn’t get slaughtered, she did get pregnant. And Alice isn’t the only one in this movie with baby fever. We learn the story of Amanda Krueger, a nun who worked in an asylum and was raped by “a hundred maniacs.” She became pregnant and because this series is dead set on removing joy at any cost, Fred Krueger was born.

As you’d expect, Alice’s pregnancy is not one of hope, but one of angst and impending doom. We’re barely into our twenties at this point in the life cycle. For the first time since puberty, your Freddy dreams are unreliable, since a common pregnancy symptom is, in fact, weird dreams. Alice’s baby-daddy, Dan, is seen hanging out with his friends, just drinking and having a great time, when Alice calls to tell him that Freddy’s come back, which is only a little more sobering than “Could you pick up something from the grocery store?” With that, we’re sent into a downward spiral of adult responsibilities. Kiss your friends goodbye — it’s just you and your pregnant girlfriend forever. Just not for Dan, because Freddy kills him. And then possesses his body. And then asks Alice “Wanna make babies?”

Freddy also becomes a talking bike. Nothing to do with parenthood, but important, nonetheless.

Freddy’s baby obsession reaches its peak when he kills a girl named Greta by stuffing her with food while she’s seated in a highchair. He then drapes her over his shoulder and burps her TO DEATH.

Alice physically forces Freddy out of her and Freddy is torn apart by his infinity-trillion crazy daddies, and his evil spirit goes inside the ghost of his mommy, Amanda. In a final act of baby defiance, Freddy gives his mom an automatic C-section by tearing his glove through her stomach. Childbirth. Truly a miracle.

4

Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare: Adulthood

College is over. You’re leaving your twenties. You’ve had some kids. You dabbled in strange careers that you thought would stick and define you, but by god, Robert’s Anime And Taco Shop closed in three weeks. The Final Nightmare represents all of your choices falling apart. It opens with an airplane crumbling mid-flight while Freddy flies by on a broomstick shouting, “I’ll get you my pretty, and your little soul too!,” which is about as life fall-ey apart-ey as it can get.

By now, Freddy is a caricature of himself, as seen when the trademark ’90s teen stoner falls asleep and dreams he’s in a video game. There he’s controlled and killed by Freddy who is using a Nintendo Power Glove. This movie is a nostalgic 30-year-old trying to prove to 15-year-olds that, yeah, he’s still hip. He knows the video games. “Nintendo” is the name of that little plumber, right?

The female lead, Maggie, is Freddy’s long-lost daughter. And she hates him, probably as she should. In time, your kids will resent you, too. Your life’s a mess and you’re driving in circles, just like in the character Carlos’ dream about the never-ending nightmare map. There’s seemingly no escape.

3

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare: Middle Age

New Nightmare isn’t necessarily a sequel to the the previous Nightmare films. Instead, it exists in a world where the other films are, well, films, and Freddy is a pop-culture icon. The years have rolled by and Freddy movie after Freddy movie has come out, throwing us headlong into a world where it feels like you’re stuck doing the same thing over and over again.

The actress that played Nancy (Heather Langenkamp) plays herself, and she’s pretty sick of the Freddy character, too. She gets even sicker of him when she finds out that Freddy has leaked out into the “real world” and is now an actual detriment to the life of her and her son. You do your job for years, it provides for you, and it’s seemingly only beneficial. And then you arrive at middle age and realize that it’s made you a nervous wreck of a person. Also, it’s unleashed a burn-faced dream goblin that’s out to off your child. The 401k is pretty handy, though.

At the last second, Heather ends up finally slaying Krueger and returning him to his fictitious world. She refuses to let a piece-of-shit job/dream goblin define her and overtake her life and ruin her relationship with her son. Unlike the earlier films which ended with the theme of “Freddy’s still around, life is hopeless, and enjoy the suck!,” New Nightmare ends with the message that even when you’re deep in the butthole of adulthood, you can still swim out of the shit.

2

Freddy Vs. Jason: Late Middle Age And Your High School Reunion

You’re invited to the party of near-elderly irrelevance by Freddy himself with an opening monologue that puts others to shame, giving us a history of his murder sprees and complaining that he can’t come back if no one remembers him. Being forgotten blows, so let’s all get together for old time’s sake.

The protagonist, Lori, is the first one smart enough to remember Freddy’s name. At first, Freddy tries to use Jason’s lumbering death corpse to give him power to come back, but when Jason starts stealing Freddy’s targets, it gets him real pissed. Jason wasn’t supposed to be the guy that could still break dance at the reunion! Freddy was supposed to bust a move.

New Line Cinema If this movie had been made a decade earlier, they ABSOLUTELY would’ve had a dance-off at this moment.

But the proof that this movie knows you’re old and lame is in its need to spell everything out for you. Like the scene at the table where they’re talking about how Freddy brought Jason back, how Freddy is afraid of fire and Jason fears water, so how can we use that? They might as well have been shouting into your hearing aid. “Back in my day, the Nightmare films were ‘The Dream Something‘ and Reagan was Jesus!”

The final battle really feels like closure on our pasts, even if we can all see it for what it really is: two old men fighting. It makes you remember how you got here. You feel at peace.

1

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010 Remake): Old Age And Death

At long last, you’ve made it to the end. And this remake is the tumbling demise of someone nearing the end of existence. You’re about to die, but you’re just grasping onto that final financial breath. Some kind of strange attempt to prove to everyone that you can be something more or something different. But by now, you don’t need reinventing or fixing. You need to look back at your life and celebrate the best parts. Like all those glorious practical effects that have been buried here to make room for shitty CGI.

In typical “gritty reboot” fashion, Freddy’s “realistic” burn makeup is so thick that it renders him expressionless. Yet, he sure is a chatty dream murderer this time around. Reboot Freddy just talks too damn much. Like he didn’t expect anyone to actually come over, and he’s taking advantage of the company. He’s trying to get it all out before he can’t do it anymore.

The adults are too nice, and the teens in this movie are all bored drug addicts, which is the general world view of anyone who’s retired to watch a constant stream of TV Land and Fox News. In the final battle, when Nancy screams to Freddy, “You’re in my world now, bitch,” we realize that we’re probably already dead. And in Hell. Because never has there been a more flat and apathetic delivery in a Nightmare On Elm Street movie.

With that line, the series dies, and we’re ready to leave it and its allegory for life behind. We’ve been through nine movies that have guided us from puberty through death, and we’ve killed a lot of teenagers in between. Thanks, Freddy, for showing us the way.

You can find Loryn haunting Twitter.

The proliferation of beer pong and craft beer may have you think that we’re living in one of the peak times to get drunk, but humans have been getting famously hammered for millennia. Like a frat house’s lawn after a kegger, history is littered with world changing events that were secretly powered by booze. The inaugural games of the Roman Coliseum, the drafting of the US Constitution and the Russian Revolution were all capped off by major parties that most attendees probably regretted in the morning.

Join Jack O’Brien and Cracked staffers Carmen Angelica, Alex Schmidt, Michael Swaim, plus comedian Blake Wexler for a retelling of history’s biggest moments you didn’t realize everyone was drunk for.

Get your tickets here:

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/the-nightmare-on-elm-street-series-is-deeper-than-you-know/

[aion-rsa]

BOOM! Studios’ July 2017 Solicitations

BOOM! Studios has provided CBR with the exclusive first look at covers and solicit information for products shipping in July 2017. When you’re through checking out these solicitations, be sure to visit CBR’s Independents Comic Forum and discuss these BOOM!, Archaia and KABOOM! releases with fellow readers.

BOOM! Studios Solicitations – Last Six Months

Product shipping June 2017

Product shipping May 2017

Product shipping April 2017

Product shipping March 2017

Product shipping February 2017

Product shipping January 2017

MIGHTY MORPHIN POWER RANGERS #17

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Kyle Higgins

Artist: Hendry Prasetya

Main Cover: Jamal Campbell

Connecting Variant Cover: Steve Morris

Variant Cover: Dan Mora

Morpher Variant Cover: Miguel Mercado

Action Figure Variant Cover: Haskell Mackowski

The next Power Rangers epic starts here! The Power Rangers are finally reunited, but can things ever be the same?

SISTERS OF SORROW #1

Retail Price: $3.99

Writers: Kurt Sutter and Courtney Alameda

Artist: Hyeonjin Kim

Main Cover: Jae Lee

Intermix Cover: Andre De Freitas

Kurt Sutter (Sons of Anarchy, Mayans MC) brings this all-new original tale of revenge and recovery to comics with novelist Courtney Alameda (Shutter) and breakthrough artist Hyeonjin Kim.

By day, Dominique, Greta, Misha, and Sarah run a nonprofit women’s shelter. At night, they each don a nun’s habit and move through Los Angeles hunting down violent abusers who have escaped justice. Their increasingly public vigilantism has earned them the nickname Sisters of Sorrow, and has drawn the ire of L.A.’s notorious anti-crime task force.

SONS OF ANARCHY REDWOOD ORIGINAL #12

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Ollie Masters

Artist: Lucas Werneck

Main Cover: Luca Pizzari

Subscription Cover: Jonas Scharf

Final issue! As Opie and the club zero in on his location, Jax breaks free from the Israeli gangsters and starts a bloody fight in his escape.

PLANET OF THE APES/GREEN LANTERN #6 (of 6)

Retail Price: $3.99

Writers: Robbie Thompson, Justin Jordan

Artist: Barnaby Bagenda

Main Cover: Dan Mora

Movie Poster Variant Cover: Oliver Barrett

Classic Variant Cover: Paul Rivoche

Spectrum Variant Cover: Felipe Massafera

“Vintage” Action Figure Variant Cover: David Ryan Robinson

The battle has infected Ape City. Cornelius’ army of empowered mutants and apes lay waste to Grodd’s Gorilla Army and Red Lanterns. This world’s only hope lies with Hal Jordan and Sinestro, who must work together to save Cornelius from the corruption of the Universal Ring.

MOUSE GUARD ALPHABET BOOK

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $16.99

Writer: David Petersen

Artist: Serena Malyon

Cover Artist: Serena Malyon

Learn the ABCs in the world of David Petersen’s Mouse Guard where brave mice protect one another from predators large and small, explore the expansive nature around them, and thrive in harsh conditions. Hand-painted by Serena Malyon, this is a look into a beautiful world with rich culture and stalwart friendships, worth exploring one letter at a time.

JANE HC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $24.99

Writer: Aline Brosh McKenna

Artist: Ramón K. Pérez

Cover Artist: Ramón K. Pérez

A powerful modern day reimagining of Charlotte Brontë’s classic novel Jane Eyre. Jane learns that in the world of New York’s elite, secrets are the greatest extravagance and she must decide if she should trust the man she loves or do whatever it takes to protect his daughter from the consequences of his deception.

THE POWER OF THE DARK CRYSTAL #5 (of 12)

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Simon Spurrier

Artists: Kelly and Nichole Matthews

Main Cover: Mike Huddleston

Subscription Cover: Sana Takeda

Separated from Kensho, Thurma journeys out into the wilds of Thra to find her way home, alone and unaware of the wonders that stand before her and the dangers on her trail.

RUST VOL. 3: DEATH OF THE ROCKET BOY SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $14.99

Writer: Royden Lepp

Artist: Royden Lepp

Cover Artist: Royden Lepp

Rocket boy Jet Jones goes out of his way to prove himself to the Taylor family who have taken him in, but when shadows of his past arrive on the farm opening old wounds, he realizes his days of running may finally be numbered. Royden Lepp’s Rust: Death of the Rocket Boy is the penultimate installment of Jet’s ongoing adventure as he confronts his maker and struggles to protect the Taylors from new threats.

THE UNSOUND #2

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Cullen Bunn

Artist: Jack T. Cole

Cover Artist: Jack T. Cole

Ashli uncovers a horrifying secret in the deeper levels of the asylum, and not everyone in her group will make it out alive.

VICTOR LAVALLE’S DESTROYER #3 (of 6)

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Victor LaValle

Artist: Dietrich Smith

Cover Artist: Micaela Dawn

Dr. Baker holds Shelley and Byron in her underground lab as she unveils her rebooted son Akai for the first time.

CLIVE BARKER’S HELLRAISER OMNIBUS VOL. 1 SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $39.99

Writers: Clive Barker with Mark Miller, Christopher Monfette, Robb Humphreys, Anthony Diblasi, and Brandon Seifert

Artists: Leonardo Manco, Jesús Hervás, Stephen Thompson, Janusz Odon, Michael Montenat, Ibrahim Roberson, André Stahl Schmidt, Giovanni P. Timpano, Marcio Henrique, Tom Garcia

Cover Artist: Tim Bradstreet

Clive Barker returns to tell a new chapter in the official continuity—a trajectory that will forever change the Cenobites… and Pinhead!

Over 500 pages, collecting Clive Barker’s Hellraiser #1-20 and Clive Barker’s Hellraiser Annual #1.

GRASS KINGS #5

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Matt Kindt

Artist: Tyler Jenkins

Main Cover: Tyler Jenkins

Intermix Cover: Matt Kindt

More circumstances surrounding the disappearance of Robert’s daughter are revealed.

GODSHAPER #4

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Simon Spurrier

Artist: Jonas Goonface

Cover Artist: Jonas Goonface

It’s an all-out underground nightclub fightorama…with Ennay stuck in the middle!

THE WOODS #33

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: James Tynion IV

Artist: Michael Dialynas

Cover Artist: Michael Dialynas

Final arc starts here! As war rages on the alien moon, those back on Earth put together one last attempt to bring Bay Point home.

WWE #7

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Dennis Hopeless

Artist: Serg Acuña

Main Cover: Dan Mora

Sami Zayn Variant Cover: Jorge Corona

Roddy Piper Variant Cover: Rahzzah

Action Figure Variant Cover: Adam Riches

Royal Rumble Connecting Variant Cover: Brent Schoonover

Dean Ambrose is drawn into the conflict between Sasha Banks and the Flair Family—and there’s only one way to settle it!

BILL & TED SAVE THE UNIVERSE #2 (of 5)

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Brian Joines

Artist: Bachan

Cover Artist: Derek Charm

The resistance has space-napped Bill, Ted, and Rufus!

BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA/ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $19.99

Writer: Greg Pak

Artist: Daniel Bayliss

Cover Artist: Felipe Massafera

Prepare for the road trip of a lifetime! Jack Burton and Snake Plissken haul the Pork-Chop Express across the dystopian planes of America to stop their worlds from coming to an end in the John Carpenter-sanctioned crossover event that will shake the pillars of heaven and prove once and for all that Snake Plissken lives on.

HERO SQUARED OMNIBUS SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR AUGUST 2017*****

Retail Price: $29.99

Writers: Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis

Artist: Joe Abraham, Nathan Watson, Cynthia Martin, Eduardo Barretto, Mark Badger, Chase Conley, Fabio Moon, Zio, Alfa Julia Bax, Mike Cavallaro

Cover Artist: Joe Abraham

Milo’s just another slacker in our world, but on a parallel universe, he’s legendary superhero Captain Valor. When Valor is accidentally transported to our world, he moves in with Milo…but he didn’t travel alone. His arch-nemesis Calignous is the alternate reality version of Milo’s girlfriend Stephie, and there’s an army of mutated penguins behind her!

The entire saga from Eisner Award-winning creators Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis (Justice League International) is fully collected for the first time, also including the tale of how Captain Valor’s team was formed in the prelude series Planetary Brigade. One of comics’ greatest teams brings you the caped laughs once more!

KONG OF SKULL ISLAND VOL. 2 SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $16.99

Writer: James Asmus

Artist: Carlos Magno

Cover Artist: Nick Robles

After an endless onslaught of horrors plague the tribes, Ewata embarks on a journey to find the source of these attacks and face the god of this island in the authorized origin of Kong.

Collects issues #5-8.

THE AMORY WARS: GOOD APOLLO, I’M BURNING STAR IV #4 (of 12)

Retail Price: $3.99

Writers: Claudio Sanchez & Chondra Echert

Artist: Rags Morales

Cover Artist: Rags Morales

Ryder senses an intruder has stolen something from him, and he wants it back.

LUMBERJANES #40

Retail Price: $3.99

Writers: Shannon Watters & Kat Leyh

Artist: Ayme Sotuyo

Main Cover: Kat Leyh

Subscription Cover: Ayme Sotuyo

Parents’ Day at camp is finishing up, with an Abuelita rescue mission, a trickster to out-trick, and the surprise arrival of…Molly’s parents?

LUMBERJANES BADGES

Retail Price: $4.99

Artist: Kate Leth

Holy Mae Jemison! Deck out your sash with your favorite iron-on badges straight from the pages of the Eisner Award-winning Lumberjanes!

JONESY VOL. 3 SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $14.99

Writer: Sam Humphries

Artist: Caitlin Rose Boyle

Cover Artist: Caitlin Rose Boyle

Jonesy has moved in with her mom, away from her issues in Plymouth! But she can’t run forward…and before she knows it, her problems are gonna catch up!

Collects issues #9-12.

MUNCHKIN VOL. 6 SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $14.99

Writers: Sam Sykes, Andrew Hackard, Nicole Andelfinger

Artist: Ian McGinty, Len Peralta

Cover Artist: Mike Luckas

Join Spyke and Flower as they go to any lengths to get some loot. This includes (but is not limited to) outsmarting foes, learning kung fu, venturing into wonderland, and battling legendary monsters all in the name of stacking up that gold.

Collects issues #17-20.

GIANT DAYS #28

Retail Price: $3.99

Artists: Max Sarin, Liz Fleming

Cover Artist: Max Sarin

What’s the secret of the shed in the back of the girls’ house, and why are strange men visiting it in the middle of the night?!

MISFIT CITY #3 (of 4)

Retail Price: $3.99

Writers: Kiwi Smith and Kurt Lustgarten

Artist: Naomi Franquiz

Cover Artist: Naomi Franquiz

The friends are only a few steps away from uncovering treasure and long-buried secrets, but if they can’t keep it together Wilder might just be left without her team.

SLAM! #8

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Pamela Ribon

Artist: Sam Beck

Main Cover: Veronica Fish

Variant Cover: Kat Leyh

Besties and derby-gals Ithinka Can and Knockout are getting it together and skating their butts off in this final issue of SLAM!

ADVENTURE TIME #66

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: Delilah S. Dawson

Artist: Ian McGinty

Main Cover: Shelli Paroline & Braden Lamb

Subscription Cover: Michael Bills

It’s a hot air balloon adventure! Finn and Jake decide to take their questing to the sky in this new arc from novelist Delilah S. Dawson (Ladycastle)!

ADVENTURE TIME COMICS #13

Retail Price: Main and Subscription Covers: $3.99 Incentive Cover: $0.00

Writers: Phillip Kennedy Johnson, Jai Nitz, Max Davidson

Artists: Antonio Sandoval, Devmalya Pramanik, Luca Claretti

Main Cover: Kim Myatt

Subscription Cover: Jorge Monlongo

Variant Cover: Matt Smigiel

During a game of hide and seek, Finn finds himself lost in the land of the Forgotten. In another tale, we find the unlikeliest of heroes united to save Finn and Jake: Magic Man and Tiny Manticore!

ADVENTURE TIME SUGARY SHORTS VOL. 3 SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $19.99

Writers: Zack Smith, Janet Rose, Frank Gibson, Eric M. Esquivel

Artists: Brad McGinty, Becky Dreistadt, Phil Jacobson, James the Stanton, Kristina Ness, Jen Bennett, Zack Giallongo, Andy Hirsch, Luke Pearson, Jeremy Sorese, T. Zysk, Allison Strejlau, Ian McGinty

Cover Artist: Victoria Maderna

Collecting stories by amazing comic creators from around the world, Sugar Shorts stars all your favorite characters from Fionna the Human to Billy the Hero. This collection contains so much sugary goodness it’s almost too sweet to handle.

THE AMAZING WORLD OF GUMBALL: AFTER SCHOOL SPECIAL SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $14.99

Writers: Zachary Clemente, Andrew Green, Tait Howard, Cohen Edenfield, Nneka Myers, Fernanda Jaber, Zack Giallongo, Philip Murphy, Terry Blas, Kate Sherron, Anne Szabla, Katy Farina

Artists: Kate Leth, Andy Hirsch, Terry Blas, Kate Sherron, Anne Szabla, Katy Farina, Philip Murphy, Zack Giallongo, Fellipe Martins, Nneka Myers, Tait Howard, Andrew Green

Cover Artist: Katy Farina

Join Gumball, Darwin, and friends on their wacky side adventures that will delight any fan of The Amazing World of Gumball!

Features stories by an eclectic mix of comics’ finest established and up-and-coming talents, including Andy Hirsch (The Baker Street Peculiars), Kate Leth (Patsy Walker, A.K.A. Hellcat!), and Anne Szabla (Bird Boy).

REGULAR SHOW VOL. 9 SC

*****ADVANCE SOLICITED FOR SEPTEMBER 2017*****

Retail Price: $14.99

Writers: Ulises Farinas, Erick Freitas, Shanna Matuszak, Laura Howell, Ryan Ferrier, Box Brown, DeWayne Feenstra

Artists: Laura Howell, Will Kirkby, Matthew Smigiel, Box Brown, Jenna Ayoub

Cover Artist: Philip Murphy

Will Mordecai and Rigby break free of the franchises’ grasp, or will they spend their lives dodging straight-to-DVD sharks and explosions?! Collects issues #33-36 of the hit Cartoon Network series.

OVER THE GARDEN WALL #16

Retail Price: $3.99

Writer: George Mager

Artist: Kiernan Sjursen-Lien

Main Cover: Chris Schweizer

Subscription Cover: Star Maquiling

It’s another fun adventure with Miss Langtree’s class!

STEVEN UNIVERSE #6

Writer: Melanie Gillman

Artist: Katy Farina

Main Cover: Missy Peña

Subscription Cover: Rian Sygh

Variant Cover: Sara Talmadge

Steven and Connie enjoy another day in Beach City!

The post BOOM! Studios’ July 2017 Solicitations appeared first on CBR.

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