#he said i can buy whatever i want for xmas the only catch is that i have to give him half my chicken tenders anytime we eat at a place that

[gothsuguru]

gonna make my brother buy this for me

[hangmanshole]

here comes santa claus

A/N: there’s no point in sugar coating this….. it’s pure unadulterated sheer horniness for ryan bergara in his santa costume.

word count: 1.6k+

warnings: 18+ !!!! smut to come in part 2, enough swear words to rival a 10 year old who just learned the word fuck, horny xmas pickup lines that wouldn’t be out of place in a cheesy xmas porno

with christmas fast approaching and your ebenezer scrooge vibe stinking up the loft you shared with your best friends, they finally lost all patience and took it upon themselves to drag your grumpy ass out of the comfort of the loft and into the car for some good old-fashioned retail therapy at the mall.

“but—“

“shut up, you’re going shopping and you’re gonna love it. maybe you could even buy a vibrator and go to town on yourself so you stop being such a cunt.”

“tell me how you really feel,” you grumbled, lowering into your seat so you were at the optimal position for window gazing.

—————

“bergara, you’re late… again” steven tsk’ed in annoyance, he wasn’t getting paid enough to deal with ryan’s shit, and also, he fucking reeked of stale beer. he was pretty sure the stain on his costume was also beer, or beer adjacent (enter whisky).

“better late than never, now let’s make some fucking wishes come true, huh?” he rubbed his hands together mischievously and walked out to his spot on santa’s throne. yeah. steven definitely wasn’t getting paid enough for this shit.

“HO HO HO BOYS AND GIRLS ITS ME, SANTA!” steven sighed, shook his head and plastered a smile on his face before running out to his position as head elf.

——————

“fellas i’ve changed my mind, i’m ready to get in the holiday spirit” you said in an attempt to declare a truce, maybe it wasn’t too late to back out of this.

“not only are you a grinch, but you’re also a goddamn, dirty liar. you need this” your best friend retorted, not at all impressed. you think you need new friends, this one’s defective and can call all your bullshit.

you sighed in defeat and allowed them to drag you through the entrance of the mall for what would be a torturous five hours of christmas shopping.

——————

“santa’s going to take a quick break, and then he’ll be right back! everybody say bye santa!” steven said to all the children and their accompanying parents while ryan stumbled out of his throne and back into the dressing room (tent).

steven pulled back the door to the tent and found ryan chugging straight from a whisky bottle that was nearing empty.

“nice one santa, maybe try not to fall on your ass this time. i can only say santa’s a bit clumsy because he can’t see over his beard so many times.”

“yes dear, i’ll be a good boy from now on” ryan replied in a drunken stupor.

“jesus christ, is that bottle from today?” steven asked, ignoring ryan’s smartass comment.

“you bet your sweet ass it is.”

steven sat in weighted silence as ryan chugged down the rest of the whisky bottle. the uniform he had to wear was unbearably itchy, not to mention thick (which makes him sweaty), and worst of all, he had to babysit ryan through the rest of the holidays. he was disgruntled to say the least - what was usually his favourite time of year was soured because his best friend was broken-hearted over a friends with benefits situation gone wrong, thus drinking himself into a fucking hot mess while he was meant to be lying about the miracle of christmas to gullible, doe-eyed children while their parents paid for their kid to sit on the lap of a stranger. happy fucking holidays.

he glanced at the clock, and then back at ryan who was staring into space, completely disconnected from reality.

“breaks over, santa. knock ‘em dead” he said in what he hopes was an encouraging tone. he was met with a slurred grunt, which he’d have to accept as an answer. he watched as ryan gathered himself up and stumbled his way out of the tent. steven prayed to whatever god was looking down on him to have mercy on him, and also on ryan’s liver which was surely taking hella damage.

———————

“dude can we go home now? i’m literally out of money” you pleaded to your roommates. your feet were sore from standing for so long, your mouth was dry from the giant soft pretzel you’d snacked on earlier and to be honest, you were fucking exhausted from being around people for so long. your social battery could only last for so long and you were riding the last of that sweet sweet juice on 2%.

“in a minute” was all the answer you got. after 20 not minutes, according to your best friend anyway, passed you exited the store in a huff, leaving all your shopping bags unattended in the cart. you exhaled a long breath and thought about all the reasons you loved your friends and how you’d miss them if they suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth.

just as you allowed yourself to get swept away in your thoughts, a bellowed HO HO HO caught your attention. not fucking santa. god, you’d forgotten that malls hire any random dude off the street once a year to play santa and let all the good little boys and girls of this shit piss town sit on his lap and tell them what they want for christmas.

i’ll tell you what i want for christmas, santa. some fucking dick, you thought to yourself. you make the decision to glance over in the direction of this years holiday shmuck, entertaining the idea of getting a good laugh out of the pervy old man sitting on old saint nicks throne. you’re surprised however, to find a young looking guy, fucking fit, manspreading on santa’s seat.

were all the old men of the world too busy to play santa this year? who is this guy?

your questions unfortunately received no answers as your roommates finally decided to make an appearance outside the store.

“we’re done— uh…. are you checking out santa?”

“no the fuck i’m not” you replied, just a tad too fast.

“dude ew oh my godddd, since when do you like old men?”

“he’s literally not old, look.” you point over towards the christmas display so that your friends too could appreciate the view that is new hot santa.

“i think we should take a family photo with santa” your best friend mused, a shit eating grin plastered across their stupid face.

“no, i refuse. no” you reply, but your words fall on deaf ears. the three bastards you call roommates are already dragging you over to the queue of children waiting to see santa.

“you can’t make me!” you shout, catching the attention of several disproving mothers. they let go of you once you’re situated in the queue, and your best friend says that they’ll wait in line with you until it’s your turn.

“i hate this, i hate it here, i hate you…do you hate me? is that why i’m here?” you ask.

“you don’t get to be a jackass just because some asshole jock broke your heart. and you don’t get to be an even bigger asshole on christmas just because your parents got divorced when you were a kid. this is our first holiday as a loft family and you’re ruining it.”

you don’t reply after that, what could you even say? what would you even say?

“next please!” the head elf called out to you.

“don’t forget to smile!” your best friend said to you, then patted you on the back and left the queue.

“i don’t mean to rush you but santa is on a tight schedule, please come up if you’re ready for your picture” the head elf said to you, looking you directly in the eyes.

you nodded, embarrassed, and made your way up the stairs as fast as you could. your senses were hit with the scent of whisky and stale beer. talk about christmas spirit. santa was still seated while manspreading, and you realise now it’s because he’s fucking tanked.

“well hey there pretty girl” santa greets you, a wicked grin on his face.

“hi santa” you reply, not moving toward him.

“why don’t you come over here and sit on santa’s lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up” he chuckles. your face flushes pink. you clear your throat uncomfortably and fill in the final gaps till you were sat on santa’s lap.

“now that’s a good girl. why don’t you tell me what you want for christmas, baby?” santa says, his tone a chilling purr in your ear. he takes the chance and pushes a loose strand of hair behind the same ear he’d just whispered into.

“santa—“ you start.

“yeah?”

“i just want a man to take care of me and my… needs” you muse, a slight smile gracing your face.

“and what needs would those be, little girl?” you watched as santa’s eyes darkened while they bore into yours. god he was so fucking hot.

“let’s just say… it’d be a christmas miracle if any man could make me cum this holiday season” you pouted. you felt santa harden in the slightest underneath you, a low growl leaves his mouth, concealed by the ridiculous santa beard.

“how about you let santa take care of you, huh, sweet girl? i wanna give you this present myself.” you moaned quietly into his ear.

“say cheese!” the head elf said, pulling the both of you out of the trance of your conversation. you both smiled at the click and then turned back to each other.

santa slipped you a piece of paper and you pocketed it immediately. “my shift ends in an hour, meet me at the address on that note?”

“only if you wear the costume” you smirk at him.

“god i’m gonna fuck you so good.”

[bitway-arts]

@isozakikenma hewwo merry late xmas gift!!! I hope you enjoy rensuka first christmas time!!!

"You're coming whether you like it or not!"

"So, I'm really not given a choice?"

"Nope!"

Asuka sports his dorky grin while Ren lets out an aggravated sigh. It was a little too early to for his liking to be dragged around, especially on this holiday- Christmas. He'd never really looked forward to it, never thought much about it or gave it any special meaning, but this year was a little different. He had someone who was going to shove it in his face regardless of his feelings towards the holiday.

"Fine."

Without another word, Asuka's hand reaches out, instantly gripping onto Ren's wrist as he begins to drag him out the door of his own home. The walk to Asuka's place is silent, but not in an awkward or uncomfortable way, it's just too early for the grumpier boy. Ren eventually picks up his pace, walking alongside him instead of being dragged along. He glances over to spot a way too happy Asuka. He rolls hies eyes, pushing back that stupid smile he's getting from seeing the other boy shining brightly today.

When they get to Asuka's home, Ren looks at the exterior of the house he's seen dozens of times before. It's nothing new to see it decorated with lights and ornaments and signs out, but it just feels different today. As if there was more meaning to having these dumb decorations out. Either way, he doesn't stare at it too long as Asuka drags him out of the cold and into the warm household.

Not even half way through the kitchen, Ren can spot Asuka's parents and his sister, all sitting down, waiting for them in the living area, crowding around the Christmas tree thats placed in the room. That decorated tree catches his attention, eyes going down to the presents underneath. He tells himself not to think much of it, too get rid of the images of an empty and dull tree with no one crowded around it. He's no joining in this celebration anyway, only going to watch, be an observer that was dragged here against his will.

"We're here!" Asuka chirps, hand still holding onto Ren's as they enter this room.

"Hey, Ren!" Endou says, almost as enthusiastically as Asuka. Tobitaka greets him with a simple smile and a wave. His own silent 'hey'.

"Ren!" Kiyoko nearly jumps to her feet, bouncing on her seat as she waves to the boy.

Asuka pouts. "What? No hello for me?"

"I see you all the time. I don't have to say that," she comments back. Ren snickers and Asuka shoots them both an unthreatening glare.

"Come on, you two. No fighting today." Tobitaka interjects, wanting to stop this little fight before it breaks out (he doubts it would be anything big, but would prefer today be peaceful in this home).

"Hey," Ren says his own greeting with a slight shrug, leaving it open and directed at everyone here. Asuka looks towards him, expecting more than a simple 'hey'. Maybe its just his mood- which will change soon, he hopes. It was Christmas after all and he wanted Ren to be able to celebrate. Not by himself, but with his family.

"Now that you're finally here, we can get breakfast ready. We didn't want it to get cold without you here," Endou says while getting to his feet. He waits for his husband to stand beside him before they could start heading off towards the kitchen.

Ren wasn't sure if that was directed towards him or Asuka, most likely both, but it doesn't matter, he thinks. They step aside for the adults to pass into the kitchen. When they're gone, Asuka nudges Ren.

"We should go and help."

Ren deadpans at him. "You're going to make the guest, that you literally dragged over here, help with making breakfast?"

"What? No! I mean…" Asuka scratches the back of his head, trying to find a suitable answer to that well thought out remark. Nothing comes to him.

Ren grins as he can see Asuka trying so hard to find something to say. He takes a step closer towards him, making him move back and pressing him against the side of the couch. Asuka blinks and stares up at him, face going red at how close they are, leaving no room for him to escape.

"Not in front of my sister!" He yelps as his head turns away.

"Aww, it's fine! She can watch~."

"No!"

Asuka bites his lip, determined to stay put even as Ren keeps pressing his body onto his. He glances back to Kiyoko for a moment, noting her eyes on them. It's not like they haven't kissed or anything in front of the family before. Ren clicks his tongue, giving up for the moment under the excuse of 'it's too early to deal with this shit'.

"Alright then, let's just sit and wait."

The (not) couple sits together where the adults had been sitting, literally side by side. Kiyoko is still on her own smaller couch, attention grabbed by the presents hiding underneath the tree. She had gotten up, made a walk around the tree to try and find which were hers and take a guess of what it might be by the size of the box. Asuka had to make sure she didn't do anything to them, no touching allowed until everyone was there.

Ren sat back and watched Asuka speak with his sister, trying to be the responsible older brother. It's entertaining and makes him chuckle when he sees Asuka's own sister doesn't even listen to him. The more frustrated he gets over their bickering, the more he chuckles.

The sight is nothing new to Ren, he's seen them and their playful little fighting before. He knows it could go on longer, but they're interrupted when a voice- Tobitaka's- calls out with a, "breakfast is ready!" Asuka nearly darts for the kitchen, instantly forgetting about Kiyoko's attempts at guessing presents, but stops himself to go back to Ren. He holds out a hand for him to take, which he does, so they could go into the kitchen together.

Entering the kitchen, the kids find the table set up, the tablecloth and plates Christmas themed as well, to Ren's surprise. He would have expected gingerbread and Christmas tree cookies to be their breakfast at this point.

The adults take their seats on one side of the table, the boys on the other, and Kiyoko at one end. The breakfast scene is lively, the whole family chattering and exchanging excitement for this holiday. There's only one who is silent. Ren sees how excited they are, speaking so happily and highly of this day, even their comments about the night before. Being here never felt strange, he knew how to slide into place and exert himself. But, he couldn't today. It felt like he was intruding upon something meant to only be for a family, a special moment that he wasn't supposed to be apart of. When had that feeling ever stopped him? He'd rather not think about it too much. For now, he shakes off the feeling and shoves food into his mouth before attempting to steal Asuka's attention away from his parents, something he'd normally do.

"Big brother," Kiyoko shouts, causing Asuka's head to turn. "Can you pass me the salt?"

"Hm? But it's closer to Ren, why don't you ask him?"

"I am asking him, thats why I called him."

"Huh?" Ren raises a brow as he looks over to the girl. "Why are you calling me that?"

"I just thought you'd make a good brother in law."

"Eh?" Ren stares at her, speechless.

"KIYOKO!" Asuka shouts her name with blaring red cheeks.

"Ki-Kiyoko…" Endou starts while putting a hand over his mouth to try and stop himself from laughing. It doesn't work and he can't even try to get a decent sentence out. All they can hear are forcefully held back laughs. Meanwhile, Tobitaka isn't bothering to hide his own. It definitely was a surprise to hear something like that at the breakfast.

Asuka tries to cover his face in his hands, muttering, "how'd she learn that?"

Ren is still in a state of surprise, glancing over to the others before looking to Asuka. It wasn't something he'd thought about and if he ever did, the thought was pushed away. There was no way that would happen…would it?

After everyone calms down, finishes their meal, plates are put away, they head back into the living room. Endou announces that it's time to open presents and the siblings cheer. Ren rolls his eyes to all this hyped up excitement and keeps to himself on the end of the couch. He can't help but watch as gifts are passed around, first to Kiyoko, then to Asuka, and then too…him. Ren stares at the gift in Asuka's hand being held out towards him.

"That's…not for me."

"It is!" Asuka says with a smile.

Ren ends up looking to the adults, unaware of his terribly surprised and confused expression.

"What he said is true," Tobitaka answers his silent question. "You've got more too."

"Yup! But you're going to have to wait to get yours like everyone else," Endou chimes in.

Hearing that makes something tug at his chest, leaves an aching feeling there. He has to bite down on his lip as he takes the present from Asuka, eyes resting upon the wrapped gift. This one is labelled from the whole family, others from the individual family members themselves, and even a couple from Santa (he guesses this was mainly to keep the jig up for Kiyoko). It wasn't something he'd been expecting at all. He'd been thinking he was only being brought here to watch, not to be included or apart of it really.

But…it feels nice. Nice to be apart of a family. Nice to be accepted. The nice feeling didn't last with thoughts of his own family being nothing like this. Even more when guilt began to eat at him, gnawing at his insides for only getting Asuka gifts. He'd argue how he wasn't informed it would be like this, though hoped that he could make it up to the family, albeit a little later. Buy them something or help them out with…whatever they needed. (He'd ask Asuka for help on that part.) It wasn't something he wanted to voice aloud, but he'd make an exception to them.

Ren takes a look at the room around him, watching as one by one gifts are opened, smiles go around, excited and grateful voices fill the room. He never thought he'd be experiencing something like this. A real Christmas. It was completely different from his quiet and empty Christmases at home, this was more lively, filled with actual love and heartwarming moments.

It made him smile.

And he kept that smile as he placed his own gifts aside. He turned to look to Asuka, that smile widening as he caught the perfect time to swoop in and steal a surprise kiss from the boy. It startled him, made him blush, made him smile. That's all he really needed to see.

"Thank you for bringing me here today, Asuka."

[imaginexmeintheuniverse]

Dick Grayson hears readers christmas wish and he does/buys it. Maybe she wants all the orphans I n gotham to get Christmas presents? Please

25. Character A overhears Character B’s Christmas wish and decides to fulfill it,

Pairing: Dick Grayson x Reader

Word Count: 611

A/N: this is the sweetest thing~ Dick would fosho fulfill this xmas wish

“Dick?” You call out to your best friend, wondering where he is and why he asked you to meet him outside when it was this fucking cold. The headlights you had seen from a distance become bigger and you have to shield your eyes from how bright they are. The car stops in front of you and none other than Dick Grayson rolls down the window and stick his head out with a goofy grin on his face. “Get in loser!”Letting out a laugh at the ‘term of endearment’ as he would assure you it is, you jog to the passenger door and take a seat, appreciating how warm the car is compared to the chilly night. You lean over the center console to pull him into a hug to greet him. The moonlight reflecting off the shiny wrapping paper catches your eye and you notice that the back seat and trunk are practically overflowing with neatly wrapped boxes.“Where are you taking me, Grayson?”“That,” he turns to you smiling cheekily as he gears the car into drive. “Is a Christmas mystery.”

“Dick is this—” you cut yourself off at the sight of the sign that reads ‘Gotham Orphanage’. “Those presents…”“Yeah,” he confirms, beaming at you. His hand goes up to rub the back of his neck nervously.“I know it’s not some super fancy present, but- uh, I heard you talking to Alfred the other day, and—”The rest of his nervous ramble is cut off by you practically tackling him, jumping and throwing your arms around his neck, causing him to stumble back a step and catch you by wrapping his arms around your waist. “It’s perfect,” you whisper, your breath coming out in little clouds between the two of you as your feet are set back on the ground.“You said it was your Christmas wish.”Right there, the way Dick is smiling at you, and you back at him, you feel your heart lift in your chest, not knowing if it’ll still feel this light after what you’re about to do. You see, what Dick was still totally clueless about was your other Christmas wish, although it wasn’t only a Christmas wish so much as it was a lifetime wish fueled by your lifetime crush on your best friend. At this point, it could either work or it won’t, there’ll never be the right time to tell him how you feel and you probably won’t be able to get over him until you try. Pushing away whatever voice of reason remains in your head, you let whatever invisible force push you up on your toes so you can brush your lips over his. There’s a second where the airy feeling escapes you and the weight of reality brings you back down and you think that that will be that. That’s it.Or at least you do until he tightens his arms around you, lifting you off the ground and suddenly his lips are on yours, making you feel like you’re fucking soaring. The feeling that comes with being with him like this is better than you could have imagined as the world around you seems to get smaller until it disappears. When you finally do break apart, you’re both panting, the puffs of your breaths surrounding you, and your lips instantly feel cold at the absence of his. Foreheads leaning against one another, his hand comes up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.“Come on, I have another Christmas wish to fulfill,” you say, not being able to keep the smile off your face. “Let’s get those presents.”

Tags: @coltcas

Masterlist | Christmas Drabbles

[neon-serpent-llc]

Here’s to 365 days of polygonal worlds, shot point-blank at our grey matter, some catching fire, others fizzling to the void! It must be that oh-so-pointless time to give out video game awards! For the third year running I present a cheeky list of spills and chills like no other (spoiler: Overwatch wins nothing). Anyway, blahblahblah, here's the awards already:

Game I Forgot Existed Until I Looked Up "Game Releases of 2016" Award

Quantum Break

Like previous winners Watch Dogs, and Evolve, this is a shining example of a game that simply vanished after it was released. Probably took hundreds of Artists four years to make, and then *poof* gone overnight. But alas, most games do, eh? Was the TV show any good?

Best Case for Virtual Tourism Award

The Division

Say what you will about the game itself, but this lovely facsimile of NYC is killer. And super accurate. If it weren't for all the invincible, hoodie-wearing street thugs it would be a pleasure to cruise this digital remake of my favorite city.

Genius or Madness Award

Zero Time Dilemma

A game that walks the line perfectly between the two. So clever, and yet maybe too clever? The twists are ridiculous when they work and outrageous when they don’t. Even so, its sheer confidence of going eight steps beyond everyone else, narrative-wise, is so refreshing. Truly a piece of Art that only works in the video game medium. Speaking of Art...

Most Unplayable Work of Art Award

The Witness

Conceptually, The Witness is flawless. Especially once you've seen the "real" ending, that perfectly frames the point of the whole experience (I watched it on YouTube). Unfortunately, to get that real ending is a monumentally painstaking chore. But, this isn't "difficult" Art in the sense that its meaning is opaque or it’ll challenge your worldview. Its simply that I have zero patience for puzzle games. If The Witness is an encapsulation of what it means to be Johnathan Blow, then it's clear that he and I couldn't be more different. And that's why it works as Art.

Don't Want to Be the Guy That Says, "I Told You So," but.... I Told You So Award

No Man's Sky

Even with its countless features, the spiritually-similar Spore got boring fast. How, then, was this bare-bones knock-off, No Man's Sky, going to keep people interested? And that was with the assumption that it would at least look nice. However, it absolutely did not. The novelty of seeing procedurally generated ANYTHING gets old fast, and it's made far worse when you're presented with a never ending stream of ugly, barren planets made of mud and more mud. Next year’s winner: Star Citizen?

Biggest Social Phenomenon Since the Wii Award

Pokemon Go

It didn't last long, but for a month this summer, everyone was out hunting in the parks of the world. Sure, we still mostly ignored each other, but there was a touch of bizarre camaraderie knowing we were all playing the same giant meta game. Like the Wii before it, it was a game-related subject you could talk to ANYBODY about, and they'd not only know what you meant, but have an opinion on the matter. How often does that happen? How odd was it to see a fifty year old business man asking where the nearest Clefairy could be found?

Welcome to the 90s Loading Time Award

Deus Ex Mankind Divided

I think I spent more time riding the subway in this game than I have in real life.

You Don't Know Your Audience Award

Metroid Prime Federation Force

As a new Nintendo IP this would have got tons of attention. Who doesn't like crazy new Nintendo ideas? But as a Metroid game it could only possibly get bad press. Why play as Samus when you can play as more-generic-than-Master-Chief, chibi space marines instead? A top tier faux pas.

They Finally Got it Right Award

Dragonball Xenoverse 2

After decades of awkward DragonBall games, they finally hit the sweet spot for over-the-top action with fun controls and interesting content (granted, I never played the first Xenoverse). In the year of Street Fighter 5, who would have thought I'd prefer the new DragonBall fighting game?

Well Deserved Retirement Award

Dark Souls 3

Still fun despite almost no alterations in what is clearly a formula now, but I'm glad this is the last hurrah, at least for a while. As I said when Dark Souls 2 came out, the magic is less pronounced with each additional entry. None will have that Demon's Souls impact anymore. But when it returns in 5 to 10 years, it'll be nostalgic to see the old tricks in action again.

Everyone's An Asshole Award

Dishonored 2

At least that's what the talking Heart makes it seem like. Half the populace has secretly killed their husband/wife, whereas the other half have burned down orphanages or something.

Late to the Party Award

Steins;Gate

Another game I played years after release. And damn it's good. Far more novel than game, but I don't mind for a story of this quality. Why wasn't I reading this earlier? Haven't got to Steins;Gate 0 yet, but I'm working on it.

Xenogears Disk 2 Award

Final Fantasy XV

Like Metal Gear Solid V last year, another all-around excellent game that suddenly sprints to the end, jumping vast stretches of story in an instant, clashing hard with the slow burn style of storytelling established before that. Much like Xenogears of yore, this is a game that tried to be far bigger than time/budget allowed.

Honestly, I wish these overly-epic games would get chopped in two, a la Kill Bill. At the point where the story would start getting rushed, end part one. Just end it. Then let its sales fund part two, the remainder of the story. Then again, you run the risk of a Too Human situation where you announce a trilogy and then don't sell enough to finish it. But honestly, Final Fantasy and Metal Gear would handily sell enough. I’m sure they’ll make a FFXV-2, but at best it’ll attempt to reassemble the pieces of its predecessors fractured ending.

Didn't Burn the House Down Award

Uncharted 4

The writers said the ending would "burn the house down" in terms of closure. But it didn't, at all, even slightly. Uncharted 5 could EASILY be made based off this exact ending, with no retcons and no changes to the game’s formula. They'd just have to make Drake constantly say, "I'm too old for this shit!!"

It Shouldn't Work, But it Soooo Does Award

Dragon Quest Builders

I don't like Minecraft. As a professional level designer, I find Minecraft‘s game building tools too crude to enjoy using at length (what a snob, eh?). And I don't like Dragon Quest. Too much grind, not enough story. Too simple. But for some reason when you combine the two it's fucking great! Dragon Quest adds the personality, charm, and flavor Minecraft was sorely lacking while also bringing enough story and tangible goals to make the building feel like a game and not like a chore. Plus, the game’s worlds are fairly handcrafted and feature proper level/zone design, which is greatly appreciated. The surprise hit of the year.

Best Game Industry Trend of the Year

Virtual Reality

I'm glad we're all working on it seriously now. Sure, the current headsets are uncomfortable as fuck, (can’t emphasize this enough), but its a step towards sunglasses-size VR in about ten years or so. Plus, by then everyone will be over their VR sickness so we won’t have to keep watering down the experiences we create. It’ll be sweet!

Worst Game Industry Trend of the Year

Infinite Sales

Between Steam, Good Old Games, Humble Bundle, Greenman Gaming, PSN Store, etc there is always a massive, store-wide sale going on somewhere. Wait a year and any game you want will be a mere $10. Why buy an unknown indie game when you can get a supremely polished, lengthy triple-A game for the same price? Indie developers basically need to charge $1 to get anyone's attention. Or make their game free *cough* ULTRAWORLD.

Best Game Awards of the Year

Obvious

Worst Game Awards of the Year

The Game Awards

A transparently corporate affair, the winners have all be carefully selected based on what needs to sell at Xmas. Companies won't even show up if one of their high profile games doesn't get an award. Even setting those complaints aside, it's hard to get interested or excited about a 2016 award show that happens with over a month of 2016 left; when wonderful games like The Last Guardian haven’t even been released yet. Speaking of which...

Game (Experience) of the Year

The Last Guardian

There's a layer of disconnect between the player and Last Guardian. The boy, Trico, and the camera all seem to disobey the player constantly. Many marked this as a flaw, but I think it's 100% intentional and part of why the game is so cohesive, thematically. For me, there's an added sense of surrealism when things are out of control. The chaos of physics interactions seem like they shouldn't work, yet suddenly you've made it to the next section of the castle. Did you really play that last section, or merely guide the chaos? Since you’re playing as a helpless child, lost in towering labyrinthine passageways, this obtuse disconnect feels entirely appropriate.

I feel it's intentional because Fumito Ueda and his team have managed to capture this sense of surreal play for three games in a row. Everyone manages to get to the end despite the feeling of disconnect. Trico is so aloof, yet will always get you where you need to go. Eventually. If everything functioned 100% predictably, God-of-War-precise, it would be FAR less memorable...as an experience. You, like the boy, legitimately struggle to escape the castle. Who has the guts to purposely make their controls imprecise to service the game, and theme, as a whole? It's amazing. A true work of Art. Game of the Year.

Non-Game of the Year

ULTRAWORLD EXODUS

The expansion and finale to whatever the hell this thing is. I liked it, but I think I'm literally the only one.

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So that's the year, says I. Looking over my list, its clear I didn't play many indie games, even though I complained about people not buying indie games (which is bad Karma for me, but I'll live). As always, if you disagree: good. All awards are pointless, just fluff opinions with a bow on top. Your awards are as good as mine, good as the Oscars, Grammys, Emmys, etc etc forever. Til next year!

2015 Awards 2014 Awards

[0225pm]

ok hi haahahaha this is such a late post, and there are still a lot of belated posts i haven’t fill in yet bc i’m such a lazy ass wtf but ok anyway!!!! 

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today was supposed to be a special day.

ok not really cus we met on the 24th, a day before the actual date we got together cus han has work on 26th so in consideration of him needing some time to rest, we decided to meet on the 24th so we can stay out late and then he can use the rest of the day to sleep.

truth be told, halfway through the day things started becoming ugly. like ok, let me tell yall from the very beginning ok.

ok so we decided to meet at orchard cus the night before we planned to catch a movie – jumanji, the 4:20PM time slot. and like as usual i was late zz even though i was on a frikin uber. like tbh i could have reached in like 30 mins or even lesser if there wasn’t any other passengers in the car. like i don’t get it ok why are the drivers so damn greedy wtf if it’s one other passenger sharing i wouldn’t mind la but there were 2 other passengers and both of which were going different locations. so like the driver had to drive to 3 different locations and mine ofc la had to be the last one right :-) but ok wtvr so when i was on the ride, i decided to google the seating plan for the movie but the shitty thing was jumanji at 420pm was a really small theatre so most of the good seats were all taken. 

and by this time han was getting frustrated with me cus i was late lol and he was all like “can we even still watch the movie can you even make it?” and i was being all pissy cus of the stupid other passengers shit so i said “yaaaa we can still watch the 5+pm show”

then i googled the seating plan again but lmao even the 5+ one was shitty af cus the good seats were all taken so i checked the 940pm slot and it’s the larger seating theatre so there were still plenty of good seats not taken yet.

i finally reached orchard AND DID I MENTION HOW CROWDED IT WAS THAT DAY WTF fucking humans everywhere but i guess it was inevitable since it was the eve of xmas and like i should have known but zzz shitty. but ya then after i met han i told him that all the earlier timeslots has shitty seats and showed him the screenshots i took. so we decided to catch the 940pm timeslot instead.

walking to lido was so annoying bc all the other humans don’t know how to fucking act and move in a streamline manner wtf but ok anyway when we reached lido, the amount of people queueing to buy tickets were super crazy so i ended up just booking the tickets on the website instead and that saves us so much time and trouble from having to wait in line.

and thennnn ok we or should i say i, was supposed to link up with seanna and her bf to go to the carnival together (sorta like a double date thing but not really) but before that they were going to the xmas wonderland thing so i thought hmm maybe we can grab lunch/dinner together first then since they were making their way to orchard also but lol end up they started eating without us so i’m just like okkkkk. we saw them, i waved hi and then we went on our separate ways from there. like we didn’t even hang out like we planned to lol but nvm then han was a little irritated cus he was hungry but there were so many people everywhere and i was being indecisive as usual so i just randomly suggest places to eat and then we went to check out the food court but there wasn’t any available seats so we ended up just having our lunch/dinner at crave nasi lemak. the lemak cili padi chicken set i got wasn’t very satisfying. han got the usual chicken wing set. 

ok then like i tried to link up with seanna again but idk i feel like for someone reason she was just trying to avoid me, us?? or maybe she just wanted to spend the rest of the day alone with her bf but i feel a little disappointed bc it would have been great if she straight up tell me instead of like making me wait for a reply. but ok ya we failed to meet up again.

and thennnnn we were walking around the mall killing time and i went inside factorie, before that han was being so distant and poopie idk why but then ya we went to factorie and i tried on some shorts bc they were on sale but ended up not getting any cus they didn’t fit me right around the waist. before that i tried to ask han for some opinion but like idk why to me it just sounds like he was pissed off and insensitive and i felt hurt and tried to keep it inside and to pretend that it didn’t hurt me but lol i couldn’t hold it and started giving him the silent treatment. 

honestly idk why i’m so sensitive, i cry so easily these days over really minor things, some things are not even important but you know on days like these all i want was to be held, to be comforted, to be given attention, to be cared for, to be loved, to feel the love, but for some reason i couldn’t feel it from him cus he didn’t give it to me. 

like he could have given in to me and like idk apologize or something, even if it’s not his fault, i feel like he should have at least done something like holding my hand, or pulling me to a corner and just quietly giving me a hug or something like idk i feel like just doing something so simple like that could have soothe me right there and then but he decided to become fire too and it sucks bc it was supposed to be a memorable happy day.

and then for a while we just sat in silence, waiting for the hall to be open for our movie but we had like 40 mins left to kill and i felt so bored and tired of sitting there i just wanted to go out for a breather so i told him and at this point, he was just sitting there using his phone and all not paying me any attention. like as though whatever’s on his phone is way more important than me. and that made me mad and i felt even more shitty so i just stormed off and went down, out of the mall and walked around aimlessly. i was hoping that he’d follow me and idk just grabbed my hand and ask me if i’m ok or not or idk just show that he care and i thought he was following me but i guess not bc he lost me so he called me and asked me where i was and bc i was still fuming, i added more oil to the fire but after awhile, i felt like shit so i went back and walked towards where he was and then we walked to far east plaza and just walked around inside the mall for a bit.

i asked him if he was hungry and i guess he was craving for pezzo or something cus he asked me if there’s any pezzo around and i said yes there is but it’s quite far after that i asked him if wanted to go but he was like nah.

so i said it’s ok we still have like a lot of time to kill we can go and get pezzo if you want it (at this point i thought he don’t want to go bc i told him it was far but i remembered that there’s one at the basement of ion and it was quite near to where we were) so i walked towards ion and like he had this super black and unhappy face on so i asked him if he’s ok but he’s just like “ya just walk” so i did and then we finally arrived at pezzo then i asked him what he want but he just like look super frustrated and then teared up and i was so shocked bc i honestly didn’t know what was going on and then he told me that he felt like vomiting but i didn’t want to listen to him blablabla and i was like??? how would i know if you didn’t tell me and when i asked if you’re ok you said just walk??? then he was like “i already told you i don’t want what” and then i tried to become water bc i felt bad but he pushed me away both times when i tried to hold his arms wtf he has never pushed me away before (i don’t think he has ever did that pushing away motion to me before) so from trying to become water, i become fire again. i was so fucking??? wtf?? like i tried and truth be told i wanted to go home on the spot cus i felt so shit!!!!! but our movie was gonna start and it’ll be such a waste so i stormed off towards lido walking as fast as possible to keep the distance between us and i........ did something stupid again. it doesn’t hurt as much as the other time but that’s just because there’s no concrete walls which sucks at that point of time but anyway ya we went in the hall and to our seats.

after awhile, han became water. idk how or why or maybe sitting in darkness makes people think or reflect or something idk la but he apologized and grabbed my arm and then started doing his sniffing my hand habit thingy and putting my hand on his face all and that’s when i just crumbled. i was crying like a baby without sound. bc that was all i wanted, like throughout the whole time we were arguing and giving each other the silent treatment that was honestly all i wanted. him holding my hand, telling me things will be ok, that things are ok just with that one action. i think that was why i probably cried like the feeling of relief and being comforted just turned on the waterworks in me.

we held hands for a bit during the movie and ok yall gotta go watch jumanji it was amazing!!! (i think i literally say the same thing for every movie i watch) the casts are rly cool and there were a lot of hilarious scenes. and then after the movie, i asked han if he was sending me home and he said yes so we walked towards the bus stop and even though it was already around 12, some shops were still open and so was this small pezzo stand so i got some pizzas while waiting for han who was waiting in line in 7-11. 

luckily we made it in time for 65 cus i think it was the last bus already towards the east. 

upon reaching my place, we sat at the usual spot and ate our pizzas. and both of us were broke af so we couldn’t afford to book a ride home for han so he decided to take the first train back and since we got time to kill, we talked for a bit and then he wanted to sleep but i kept annoying him asking him to wake up and give me attention hahahahahaha and then i felt shitty la cus like he finally got up cus he was irritated after i said that he’s always sleeping only but then we were just sitting in silence again lol so i stood up and went down cus i just wanted to walk around alone for a bit to cool myself down bc i don’t want to ruin the day by becoming fire again and i was about to walk a little further down towards the other lift until i heard footsteps and someone grabbing my arm hahahahaha wah like drama like that right!!! but what he did = instantly cooled me down and then he asked me where i was going so i said i’m just gonna go walk around and he can go and sleep if he want to then he pulled my arm and wrapped himself around me while we went back up lol wth and even though i kept asking “isn’t it uncomfortable like this?” i was secretly enjoying it la mcm bodo hahahahaha why ah we always say the opposite of things its like we like them but we will always deny the fact that we like what they’re doing rly bodo sia. 

then he started staring at me and smiling like a fool wth!!!!! and i was soOoOooOo panas wtf like i can feel my face getting hot bc i was blushing like crazy??? can your boyfriend actually do that to you when he’s ALREADY YOUR BOYFRIEND? wtf like i thought the blushing thing only happens if you’re secretly in love with someone and they do something cute to/for you or something idk but holy shit i was blushing la ok and like he just kept pulling me closer and making eye contact and smiling mcm taikkkkkkk so cute wtf stop itttttttttt fml ok *breathes* then ok end of story

overall we ended on a good note la maybe i thirsty la so long never get dick alr HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH JKKKKKKKKK

but ya we’re ok nowwwwwww bye i love you hahahahahahaha

ps: second pic of us tgt is a few months old pic cus we didn’t take any that day but ok ah still cute hahaahaha