#he put in the bare minimum effort and I idolized him for it

[plasticstrawsmuggler]

Have you ever come face to face with someone who had been a big part of your life when you were a kid and come to the startling realization that you are no longer the person they think they know and the person you thought you knew probably never existed?

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Referring to how Leona is an actually good leader, it's still very funny to think about how annoyed Vil must be when Epel idolized Leona while fighting for his life struggling under Vil's tutelage. Like "how could you prefer that good-for-nothing-except-his-face over ME?" kinda thing. (Yes I love all of them but I love to see them suffer more <3)

[Referencing this post!]

Leona definitely projects very different images depending on the circumstances! His club and dorm members all look up to him because, to them, he come off as a role model. He's strong, cunning, and exudes confidence. To everyone else (people he doesn't actively lead, or people he stands on par with in terms of power and influence), he's seen as lazy and rude because Leona does not care for putting on airs and finds social grace tiring to deal with.

Nowhere is this dichotomy better exemplified than in Epel's Birthday Jacket vignettes. In them, Epel, a first year and a Magift Club member, describes Leona as someone who is good at looking out for others like him. This confuses his interviewer, Floyd, who responds that it "doesn't sound like" the Sea Lion-senpai he's familiar with. Epel then confesses to not really seeing Leona much outside of club, so he doesn't actually know about what Leona is like most of the time. This just goes to show that Leona naturally shines and is at his best when he's in a scenario where he has to lead others.

Now, regarding Vil and his feelings on Leona... 🤔 It's true that Vil dislikes Leona (and, more specifically, his attitude) and may be disapproving of Epel idolizing the guy, but I get the sense that those feelings stem in part from disappointment, not just blind hatred or not liking how Leona dresses/speaks. Vil's someone who has exceedingly high standards for himself and for the people he surrounds himself with. He despises it when people don't give a task their all, or don't live up to their full potential. That is exactly the case with Leona. Vil has a VERY keen and discerning eye; I suspect that he noticed a long time ago that Leona's not putting forth all of his effort and just doing the bare minimum to scrape by, and that's what further stokes Vil's frustrations with him. An example of this is the very superficial aspect of Leona's looks. Vil admits that Leona has a handsome face, but doesn't dress the part at all. The same goes for his other traits and abilities, and even his grades (which are low due to poor attendance even though Leona himself is insanely smart). That's the thing: Leona could be great, but instead he's wasting it all and choosing to not be "his best" at all times--an ideology which exists in blatant opposition to Vil. Here we have two powerful, intelligent, talented individuals who worked hard to get to where they are now (even though they were already born into affluent families). They didn't choose to just coast by life on their family's names alone. One of them literally makes a living off of showing the world how perfect he is, and all the effort he puts in to achieving that perfection. But the other has gone the other route, not willing to put forth that effort to anything that he doesn't find useful or interesting. They've both become disillusioned with the world, which has provided them nothing in spite of all the times they tried to prove themselves. They weren't rewarded with a heroic role, nor the coveted crown., but they've got the charisma that inspires others to follow them and to show them respect. They can recognize others' strengths and are in positions where they can guide others towards those strengths. They're so alike, and I think that only feeds their dislike of one another. To Leona, Vil's a try-hard that always changes his personality to look good for the public. To Vil, Leona's callous and carelessly tossing away his own potential. It makes them a worthy rival of the other.

DBKHILdsbiDIvqfosd1436g17b Okay, I kind of strayed a bit from the initial ask, but yeah!! Vil would probably be annoyed with Epel looking up to Leona because Leona isn't at 100% all of the time (whereas Vil tries to be). The two have very different ideas of how their energy is best spent, and with Vil being Epel's dorm leader and all, he feels like it's his responsibility to lead Epel the "Pomefiore" way, not Leona's way.

[808airsoftbros]

My Wives Reaction to You Getting Harrassed at Work (Haseul/Vivi/Yeojin/Nana/Miyeon)

Author: Suddenly felt inspired to write this after listening to a creepypasta story. Anyway hope you enjoy and if you want to check out more of my works do go to the Masterlist :)

Cho Haseul

You were being bullied by your co-worker and your manager was doing nothing about it since he was his son

Being the mother of the family she wouldn't tolerate such treatment for her loved one

"What?! Let me talk to your boss!"

Would confront the manager or the main corporate office no matter how much you begged her not to

At first your manager would laugh at her until he realized that your wife was a famous kpop Idol

In just a split second, he was on his knees begging her not to expose the company and what was going on behind the scenes

"P-Please don't report this! I need this job to pay for my rent! I'm sorry not only I'll fire my son! I'll give him a raise or hell even a promotion!"

In the end, the awful and useless co-worker was fired and of course, he didn't take it too well seeing his own father screwed him but she had private security on stand-by just for this particular result

However after just five months you'd quit that job and work at a bigger company but you were still grateful for what she did for you

Vivi

You were refused a raise despite all the hard work and effort you put into the company and when you just decided to work the bare minimum you were written up for being "lazy"

"What are you serious? What fucking idiot for him not to see the talent inside of you!"

Vivi would've taken a little much of different course of action to the situation

She would first consulted Haseul who's the head of the household and recommended reporting this to your boss's supervisor

But seeing that the CEO was just as useless greedy as the manager she ended up just buying the whole company

"W-What is this?! An ownership contract?!"

"Well, sir, you should've thought about this before treating my husband like shit so from now on, I'll be running this company,"

In just no time you became her secretary and it was a win-win for the both of you now that you get be at her side 24/7

Nana

You got a customer complaint from an actress whom Nana happened to once partnered up with in the past

She'd be perfectly calm about the whole situation and unlike Vivi and the others she'd handle it her own way

"Okay darling, just leave her to me and don't worry about a thing okay~?"

Confused at first but you decided to let her run the show and enjoy it from a safe distance because you know well it will get a bit messy

She'd review the surveillance footage and prove you were just doing your job enforcing the company's policies thus making the actress the guilty one

When she gathered enough evidence, she'd confront her former co-worker and obviously she denied it and made up stories that you were being rude

"Is that so? Well, mind explaining this?"

Shocked and caught red-handed, she knew her life would be over at this moment knowing Nana could just end her career in the blink of an eye

"I-I'm sorry! Please don't turn this into the media!"

Luckily for her, Nana was in a kind mood so she just asked her to apologize, and quickly she obliged

Cho Miyeon

Miss Cho Miyeon is someone you don't want to mess with especially since she is Lieutenant of the (G) I-DLE mafia

The second she heard that you were targetted by your company she wouldn't hesitate to send men to burn their building to the ground

"What is that, my dear? Are they bothering you? Are you okay? I can just send some of my guys to burn the damn place to the ground."

Of course, you begged her not to as this wasn't the first time she committed mass murder and arson

But she'd just bought the whole company and transformed it to serve the Mafia clan

You wanting to continue to live a normal life would just get hired by a different company with better co-workers and management

"Aww~ Baby are you sure you don't want to join us~?"

Sure the offer was tempting as you'd love to be close to Miyeon but it was too much of a risk having a target on your head 24/7

Im Yeojin

Being the youngest of the family and step-sister she'd be mostly concerned about your health and well-being

"Oppa, are you okay?" "Do you need some cuddles~?"

Yeojin wouldn't really do much besides just informing her mothers

"Eomma! Oppa was being bullied! It was his boss again!"

Sadly nobody would take her that seriously as she was too adorable to be intimidating

However she doesn't need to do anything as her Eommas take care of everything for her

"Baby! Eomma said that she voted the CEO out of his office so she's in charge! Isn't that great?!"

For the rest of the night, you two cuddled in her bedroom after partying

[ask-serendipity-sky]

For a long time I didn't think Jm was mistreated from Hybe but with Face it's so clear. They didn't give him promo (well yes but like? One week???) they didn't push like crazy even if the song was sabotaged so clearly!! Like crazy was the only song that could do like seven if only the put a little effort !!

My question is WHY

Why in your op, Hybe decided that Jimin aka one of the most popular idols in the world, deserve a shitty promo and not a serious push through the charts as they do with seven?

Because Jk seems to be the bold rebellioud type not Jimin! Why Jimin that seems so quite is punished? He is simply not in a good relationship with someone in the high positions?

???

Hi anon,

That's one theory. People suspect that someone in the higher positions doesn't like Jimin. I think this might be true. I've heard rumors about this but don't know how true they are but I'm inclined to believe them.

Another possibility would be that the company did this to ensure Jimin would re-sign. They give him the bare minimum. Just enough to get his album out and offer better things in the next contract.

It could also be that Jimin is in Jk's path to stardom. Although many don't believe it, Jimin is a a better artist than Jk and the fact that Jimin achieved so much without proper support and blatant sabotage shows this. Jk was the one meant to shine so Jimin appeared and destroyed their vision.

And last, maybe they want him to run the other way in order to blame him for the breakup of BTS and then Jk is free to be the soloist they want him to be? Although this makes the least amount of sense but nothing makes sense in all of this so who knows.

These are just my thoughts on all this so I'm as lost as you are.

Hope that helps?

[genav0s]

I know you've ranked the letalis members already, but could you rank avos in each talent category?

* ‎ ◜ OO. ㅤ ﹕ ㅤAVOS' SKILL RANKINGS⠀!⠀⠀[ . . . ]⠀⠀

vocal. ⸻ ian, sanghyuk, carter, romeo, hwaseong.

aside from sanghyuk and carter's positioning, no one really disagrees with this ranking.

ian is by far the group's most technically gifted vocalist and was almost guaranteed the main vocalist position from the beginning. he has a unique ability to bend the emotions of his listeners, both in their upbeat and ballad songs.

ian was nicknamed "soul train" as kind of a back-handed compliment by hwaseong on the survival show and the fans thought it was hilarious so it stuck.

romeo being ahead of hwaseong despite not holding a vocalist position was simply because romeo didn't want the sub vocalist position, so it went to hwaseong instead. romeo rarely ever sings on avos' tracks and regrets it whenever he gives in.

sanghyuk and carter's positioning is controversial because carter is technically more sound that sanghyuk but fans have noticed that carter will go through periods where his vocals regress.

sanghyuk has never been unstable a day in his career meanwhile carter often puts in the bare minimum which reflects in his vocal stagnation.

rap. ⸻ romeo, hwaseong, ian, carter, sanghyuk.

romeo's very invested in constantly improving upon his rapping. since debut he's been known to voice his distaste for the 'idol rapper' stereotype. he takes an active role in his improvement and it shows as he's landed recognition from legit rappers both in korea and outside of it.

hwaseong and ian fully live up to the 'idol rapper' image. while hwaseong does take notes from romeo and has a more charismatic delivery versus romeo's playful, experimental cadence, ian only raps when he's needed. he jokes that it's more of a talk-sing than anything but he does alright compared to most.

carter and sanghyuk don't rap and they're perfectly fine with that. sanghyuk doesn't have the right delivery and carter is just not interested. romeo has said that if carter wanted to work on it, he could be a great rapper.

dance. ⸻ carter, sanghyuk, hwaseong, ian, romeo.

avos is known for their uniquely, humbling choreography. part of their appeal is the fact that there is no group that comes close to emulating the things that avos does with their eyes closed. their dance practices are run like the military and all five of them are tapped in.

there is a notable difference in the different styles of each member.

carter in particular is praise for his musicality and groove. he manages to make any style of choreography, whether commercial, house, or krump, carter's technique and sense of self comes through in every piece, every single time. he never misses a beat and manages to make everything look easy. he's well known for his infamous 'no-sweat' performances where he's not only giving it his all, but crisp and stable without much effort.

there really is no point in choosing between carter or sanghyuk for first place. where carter is musically gifted, sanghyuk is flawless. considering his background as a professional dancer prior to debut, sanghyuk is detail-oriented with a natural balance of fluidity and power. he's the balance to carter's groove that gives the group's choreography its edge and difficulty while maintaining sharpness and technical power.

hwaseong is closer to sanghyuk's precision in his style. while he isn't as technically gifted as the group's main dancers, he holds his own on stage. it's obvious that he doesn't have the background that carter and sanghyuk do but he picks up details well and is a quick learner.

while ian has a fluidity that carries him from one movement to the next with a casual ease, he tends to favor conservation of his energy that leaves him on the lower end of the ranking.

romeo always needs more time in the studio to refine his movements. while he can keep up with the others once its time to perform, he struggles to pick up choreography quickly and often needs to sit with what he's learned for a few days to allow himself to feel the music and add his own style.

performance. ⸻ carter, romeo, ian, hwaseong, sanghyuk.

it's not fair to place carter next to anyone really. no one comes close to embodying the performer he is, and he knows it. he's always stable, on time, and amazing. he bodies every concept, every song, and every mood and hypnotizes you all at the same time.

romeo and ian are on the same level for different reasons. romeo really finds his strength in the fact that he commands your attention anytime he steps into the center. he's intense in every concept and genre and when he's comfortable with his choreography he lets go to fully focus on putting on a show. ian is fun to watch. even if he might not be the most gifted dancer in the group, his vocals and facials seriously make up for it. he truly lives in the moment and his sirenic voice pulls all attention his way.

hwaseong and sanghyuk would instantly be center in any other group. but because avos is the group it is, they find themselves being overlooked often. especially when considering they often receive the least amount of center time and lines in general. hwaseong has an intoxicating presence but often struggles to find the balance between over-dancing and being just enough.

sanghyuk is a chronic no-expression performer. he often drops his face when focusing on his vocals before picking it back up moments later.

[coffee-at-annies]

I think the union man Geno thing is just a funny thing that came about because of the difference between his and Crosby's personalities. Crosby puts in 200% effort for everything all the time. Geno does exactly as much as required of him, but he's not doing all that extra bs. He does the minimum media stuff and no more. He's not posing for tiktok, he's not doing tiny mic interviews, leave him alone he already clocked out.

How to put this into words that aren’t mean or wrong. Why does this sound like a backhanded insult? Like I get that you’re saying it’s okay that Geno doesn’t put in 200% but all I can hear is you saying “it’s okay that Geno is lazy.” Which is not what you’re saying. I’m not trying to put words in your mouth anon. That’s how this feels. It’s okay that Geno doesn’t go to the extra effort of Sid because he’s a working man, a union man. He does the bare minimum then goes home and we love him for that. I don’t think that’s true. Geno doesn’t do extra media that’s correct, but he’s giving just as much as Sid in his own way.

Again, trying not to put words into your mouth Anon, but peel back the layers of fandom and parasocial relationships and ask yourself, are we complimenting him? Is this a compliment? If he was to hear the explanation you gave me, would he feel flattered? I don’t have answers.

We know Geno doesn’t want to be the face of the franchise. He wants to show up, play hockey, and go home. So I guess in that sense yeah people are calling out an essential part of Geno’s character. Are we doing it in a way that feels complimentary? Tumblr loves to idolize some mythic ideal of labor and the union man. It’s hot labor summer. Geno isn’t actually doing any labor organizing tho. He’s not involved in the actual players union as far as I know. He went home to Russia and played hockey last time there was a labor dispute. I guess he’s the idealized rank and file union member cause not everyone is an organizer. I dunno, I don’t think I like the narrative, but I don’t want to ruin anyone else’s fun.

[hyunverse]

omg rinnie baebs 🥺 i just saw the vent ( tbh im so out of loop omg ) but no, it is not that you are not enough it is that he was simpily not worth your time. people that cheat are in the two categories or insecure and avoidant attachment styles.

insecure ( self explanatory ) is when they doubt themselves and the relationship, will continue to stir trouble and drama between the two and will never be peaceful as the avoidant attachment is where one is mentally/physically trying to push you away. if your brain continues to ponder on to why you are not good enough, why was he not like this with me, why are we always arguing-- you will fall into an insecure attachment style that will cause you to worry about every small thing in your next relationship and that is mentally going to break you. . the reason why people are constantly in and out of a dating pool is actually a red flag; because it shows that they are either or of the attachment styles i have mentioned above. im not saying it's bad, but i'm saying that its mentally exhausting. me and my husband argued for two months straight almost because of insecurity from both sides, it made it worse that we're in and ldr relationship.

if he didn't even do the bare minimum for you and you have to constantly ask for it-- it's kinda like training you in a way that within a relationship you have to ask when that should have been a given, because if you are suddenly given the slightest bit of affection it tricks you into think like "oh, he likes me." when it could've been platonic. i want to warn you about that because it has happened to me once, and i got led on tbh.

anyways, i advise you not to think too much about it even though it hurts but; imo if he can't give you the bare min he was not worth your time in the first place because it seems like he didn't treat you right.

I WANT TO REMIND EVERYONE & YOU MY BELOVED RINNIE: know your worth, to do so you must prioritize and idolize yourself with confidence and self security. what one man cannot do for you, another man out there would be dying to do just for you. continue to keep your options open, because i am sure as hell someone out there is waiting to give you 'just because' flowers

qi thank you so much for this <3 it’s realistic and comforting, i appreciate this a lot. ngl i think my past relationships did give me insecurity attachment, it’s insane. it’s super important to heal before getting into a relationship, fr. i’m saving this as a reminder istg.

waaa hope u & ur husband last for an eternity fr, i still remember u talking to me abt him omg. mm yeah i see ur point, it sucks to end up lowering ur standards due to past experience </3

thank youuu! i pray i’ll get a man like that — someone who would actually put in effort. again thank you so much qi, mwahmwah to you and i hope youre currently having the best life possible <333

[dreamescapeswriting]

⪼ What A Time ⪼ HHJ

⤜WORD COUNT: 3K

⤜PAIRING: Hyunjin X Fem!Reader

⤜GENRE: break up and back together, soft, fluffy, angst with a fluffy ending, reconciled trope, break up to lovers, miscommunication trope, 

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - August 2022

⤜MASTERLIST

a/n: I used the lyrics within the writing so I hope this is okay for you! Let me know if its not and I can start working on another one for you my love 🥺

Shutting the car door you glanced around at the darkened park and swallowed the uneasy feeling you were beginning to get from all of this. You knew you had to be here and who you were going to meet but it still didn't feel right that it was so dark and scary. You had to be out of your mind to be coming to a park at almost 2 in the morning because of a note that had been left on your desk and yet you weren't worried about any of it. But the truth was, you were rather excited to see what all of this was about.

The note that had been left for you had been completely cryptic and yet you knew exactly who it was from, you knew his handwriting anywhere. Besides, Hyunjin was the only one who knew of your secret hiding spot since he had been the only one you'd ever taken there but why now? 

Why after all of this time did he want to meet up with you? It had to have been at least four months since the two of you last saw one another and it was safe to say that things hadn't ended the way that they were supposed to. 

Well, you hadn't wanted them to end at all in the first place. You hadn't wanted the breakup and neither had Hyunjin but it had just been one of those things that happened. Couples got older and grew apart and sometimes things in life didn't work out the way that you wanted them to.

That was just life.

Only you hadn't wanted it to be that way, you'd tried desperately to fix everything that you could with Hyunjin. To try and make things work despite who he was and what he did for a living, it was difficult to date an idol. 

To you, it had always felt as though you were the only one putting in all of the effort to try and make things work for you both. To try and keep the relationship afloat while he did the bare minimum.

"Hyunjin?" You called out into the darkened park, quickly reaching for your phone to give a little light to the way through everything. This had been one of the spots you and Hyunjin came to the most whenever you wanted to go out for a real date. It was always in the early hours of the morning so you could finally be alone together and not have to worry about anyone noticing him.

You thought back to all of the nights you'd spent in the park together, staying up until the early hours of the morning and just getting to be with one another. It was some of the best times in your relationship, especially when the two of you would have a late-night picnic together and just laid up looking at the stars. The two of you gave each star its own name before Hyunjin would tell you different kinds of facts about space he'd been trying to memorize just to impress you.

You could still remember the way he used to hold you while you lay down on the ground together, his hands wrapped around you so nicely it was as though your bodies belonged together. Two jigsaw pieces that were as snug as a bug together. Meant to be. 

Or there was the time it started raining so badly you had to take cover under the slide for hours until you finally had to say goodbye to one another and head home for some sleep.

As you moved closer you called his name out once again, you hoped this was him and not some kind of sick joke being played by someone else but...there was no one else. No one knew the way that Hyunjin spoke to you or the place where the note had been left. It had to be him.

"Yn? Is that you?" His voice was like music to your ears, after all of this time it still had some kind of siren-like effect on you that made you want to throw all caution to the wind and rush toward him. The rush of adrenaline came over you and your heart began to slam against your chest so hard you were almost sure it was going to escape and run toward him.

"Hyunjinnie?" You practically began to sprint as you headed toward the small playground and there he was, standing by the gate looking for you just as you had been looking for him. 

It was like in the movies when the main character had a sort of aura around them, brightening up their face and allowing the person that fell in love with them to see them with ease.

"Yn." He rasped out keeping his eyes on you as you ran down the small dirt path to him. Instead of waiting for you where he was, he began to rush toward you and wrap his arms around you tightly.  

Just like that, he clung to you as though he wanted you forever, his eyes fluttering shut as he just enjoyed being close to you. 

The whole time he'd been waiting for you he had been feeling nauseous, his hands were shaking uncontrollably and all he wanted was to have you close by. It was all he ever needed whenever he got into a state such as that one.

Ever since he'd gotten your note to come and meet him here he'd been a nervous wreck about everything. He'd been trying to come up with a way to talk to you and get over whatever it was that ended things between you both. It was obvious from your note that you weren't happy without him and he wasn't without you either, you needed one another to feel complete.

"I missed you," He said, his throat getting so dry it was hard for him to actually speak but with you, in front of him, you made it that much easier. Everything was always easier when he had you by his side. It always made him feel as though he could take on the entire world and still be okay just because you were simply with him throughout it all.

"I missed you too," You whispered, laying your head against his chest as you listened to the way his heart raced against his ribs and smiled to yourself. It was racing almost as fast as yours was as you stood close to one another once again. 

"Let's go and sit on the swings," Hyunjin whispered as he finally let go of you, only to quickly grab your hand in his in fear of you disappearing in front of him.

"Sure, I got your note and I just couldn't believe you wanted to meet me after all this time...Hyunjin, there's just so much I want to say to you, I don't even know where to start." You admitted as you both took a seat on a swing each but Hyunjin was frowning at the mention of his note. He hadn't left a note for you, it had been you leaving a note for him.

He'd gotten back to the dorms one night to see it on the door on a pink post-it note. He knew it was from you because it was a post-it from one of the sets he'd gotten for you one time for a present, you'd always loved stationery. It had taken him almost a week to decide on one that finally felt perfect enough for you.

"My note?" He asked, suddenly feeling a little confused as to what was going on. This was supposed to be you that had asked him to meet up, not the other way around. But you were completely oblivious to how confused he seemed to be and you just nodded your head while smiling.

"The one you left on the hide-out desk...I knew I had to come, fuck I missed you too Hyunjin." You breathed out while staring at him, your eyes finally adjusting to the low light as you saw how his eyebrows knitted together in complete bewilderment. 

"I don't know what you're talking about. Yn, I didn't leave a note. You left me one..." The confusion began to settle in on your face as you dug around inside of your jeans pocket until you felt the tiny slip of paper. 

"Then what's this?" You questioned, bringing it out into view and shining your phone down onto it. It was, in fact, Hyunjins writing but he'd not remembered writing a note like this but if he hadn't who had?

"You left me one..." Hyunjin spoke as he pulled out the post-it and laid it flat on his hand while you stared down at it. It was your handwriting and your stationery but you hadn't written any of what was written on it. Not even close though you had told one person about everything that was written in the note and that was Felix.

The one other person in the world you told everything to, he'd become one of your closest friends while you and Hyunjin had been together. It was the only explanation for who wrote the notes.

"Hyunjin, I didn't-" You stopped when you felt your phone beginning to buzz in the palm of your hand so you flipped it around. 

"Lix," You mumbled under your breath, showing the screen to Hyunjin who began to flush a slight pink colour at the message on the screen.

Yongbokkie: We all thought it was about time you stopped mourning something that didn't need to be mourned. Fix things. 

Clicking your phone shut you stared at Hyunjin and bit down on your lip. It was obvious how much the two of you missed one another since you had both shown up thanks to a small note that you thought the other had left. 

"I can't believe him," Hyunjin laughed softly as he shook his head. He'd told Felix his feelings in complete confidence and hadn't expected him to do something about it. 

"I suppose he had his reasons though..." You said slowly while looking back at Hyunjin, softly beginning to push a little on the swing while you watched him.

The truth was, both of you had been completely miserable since the moment you broke things off and Felix was tired of hearing about it from the two of you. It was down to him to fix things so he mastered your handwriting and left notes for the two of you. 

Your "secret" hideout hadn't been so secret since Hyunjin had once taken Felix there by mistake whilst he was out hunting for you.

"Yeah, what reasons?" Hyunjin asked as he began to copy your swinging action on the swing, his eyes staying glued to you the entire time.

"Yeah...I-I have kind of been moping around since we ended things," You swallowed the lump in your throat as you finally admitted this to him out loud. The last thing you wanted was to end things on bad terms when your relationship had been nothing but good for a whole two years.

"You have?" The shock in Hyunjin's tone made you feel a little uneasy about this. Was it that shocking to believe that you missed the man you loved?

"Yeah-" Taking in a deep breath you stopped moving on the swing and stared down at the floor in front of you. It was going to be the only time you admitted this to someone other than yourself but you needed to get it all out into the open and be honest with Hyunjin if things were going to get fixed...or at least move on with your lives but before you could talk he did.

"I just keep thinking back to the times we were together. How I didn't want to end things but at the time it just felt right..." He mentioned before looking down at his hands in embarrassment. This was something he was ashamed of doing but at the time he thought he had to end things between the two of you before it got worse. At that moment he figured the two of you would be happier apart but he couldn't have been more wrong. He was miserable without you by his side and he couldn't spend another minute without you. 

"You know," You started before looking at him, biting down on your lip as you tried to think of a way to word your sentence without hurting him.

"When we first broke up I thought that maybe my mind had left out all of the bad things that there were between us and that we didn't make sense together but I was wrong...Fuck, I was so wrong," You whined shaking your head as you tried to keep the tears from falling down your face but it was too late. Once the flood gates had opened they began to gush down your cheeks while you struggled to speak. 

"Hyunjin we're meant to be together and there were only bad times...or when we got too tense times were because we put far too much pressure on something natural to us."

"So you regret it that we broke up?" Hyunjin asked as he stepped in front of your swing, holding the chains in his hands as he stared down at you. 

"I regret it from the moment you asked to end things. I should have thought tooth and nail to stay by your side Hyunjin," You sniffled as you felt more tears running down your face, you closed your eyes for a second and shook your head.

"I never should have let you walk out of that door," You whispered before you felt his hand on your cheek, gently rubbing his thumb under your eyes as he turned your face up to look at him.

"I never should have tried to walk out of the door," He admitted, slowly leaning down until he was face to face with you, his breath catching on your lips as you let out a small gasp at how close he was to you.

"What are you saying?" You whispered even though there wasn't a reason to and hyunjin swiped his tongue over his bottom lip.

"I'm saying I want to be with you for the rest of my life...Or for as long as you'll have me," You slowly stood up from the swing, your body trapped between the back of the swing and Hyunjin's chest as he looked at you,

"I want that too..." You moved closer so that your chest was touching his and you felt a spark fly from your body until he leaned closer to you, running his hands down your hips before pressing his lips to yours.

And just like that nothing had changed. Everything between you was just as it was as you finally wrapped your arms around the back of his neck and pulled him closer to you. Making out under the stars as you forgot about everything else in the world and focused on your lives together.

A year later to the exact time and date you were back in the same spot together remembering the time you reconciled your relationship here. It was a kind of anniversary for the two of you and Hyunjin had been planning this for a long time now, probably since the day you both got back together.

"Did you steal a bunch of Felix's brownies?" You giggled when you noticed how shifty Hyunjin seemed to be while the two of you were sitting on the blanket. He was frantically looking for something inside of the bag and you hoped it was food because you were so hungry you were worried you'd eat your own hand soon.

"Hyunjin?" You laughed when he didn't answer you and you slowly turned to face him only to see that he was down on one knee in front of you, holding a small box in his hand. 

"Yn...A year ago today you made me the happiest man in the world...and...I wanted to ask-"

"Yes!" Hyunjin smirked as he looked at you, he hadn't even been able to get the question out before you decided to answer him but he wanted to ask. He wanted to be able to do this properly with you.

"I didn't even finish asking," He laughed before you whined at him and nodded your head, 

"Just yes," You said excitedly while staring at him, he chuckled softly once again and shook his head. There was no way he wasn't going to ask you properly when he had been planning this for so long now.

"Can I finish asking?"

"Go ahead." You giggled kneeling in front of him and staring into his eyes as he pulled the ring box open, you didn't even look at the ring. You didn't need to, he could have gotten you a plastic ring and you would have agreed to marry him within a heartbeat.

"I never want to be away from you again, you're the one person in the world that makes me feel as though everything will be right in the world. The one person I look forward to seeing every day, I will never get tired of you, even when we're old and can't remember our own names...I will remember you," He sniffled as he watched some silent tears rolling down your cheeks, 

"A year ago today you made me the happiest man in the world...Will you do me the honour of making me even happier? Will you marry me?"

"Yes," You whined before pushing yourself against him, kissing him deeply as you pressed yourself so close to him that he fell down against the ground while the two of you made out. 

"Yes, yes, yes," You mumbled over and over again against his lips as he let out chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you closer to him.

Tagline: @chiisaiblog @hanasonmi @sw33tnight @taestannie @sstarryoong @illicee @army24--7 @acciocriativity @scarletemeterio @kimahnjung98 @halesandy @aerastus @lost-leopard-beanie @ethereallino @afternoonteabiscuit @dhyanavati​ @itmehc​ @rubberduckieyourtheone​ @heeseunger24​ @laylasbunbunny​

[itsamejin]

easy || jungkook angst/fluff

Summary: Date you, win a bet, get his rent paid off. Sounds promising enough, right? Jungkook should’ve known that his ambitions would end in disaster, but even if he did, that still wouldn’t have stopped him from pursuing you.

Warning: cursing, crude humor, fuckboy talk

Genre: college!au, fuckboy!au, bet!trope, angst, fluff

Pairing: Jungkook x female!reader

Premise: In which Jungkook accepts a bet from Taehyung to date the first girl that walks into the lecture hall and realizes that he bit off more than he could chew when starts to catch feelings. Now, he has to suffer the consequences of being an idiot.

Commission Request: @altus-gens​

Word Count: 9,203 words

—

It's not like Jungkook planned to be one of the most sought after person in Yonsei University, but it somehow turned out to be that way. Truthfully, he basks in it, loves that so many people idolize him for doing the bare minimum. He was handsome after all and had a level of charm that surpassed the need to have a good personality. 

He got into such a prestigious school through an athletic scholarship for Taekwondo, managed to convince his professors to pass him when he put in minimal effort, and there was no shortage of girls to call when he was feeling lonely for a night. He was the stereotypical 'it' boy on campus and maybe if he was a little bit smarter, he'd have a better choice of friends than the six idiots he always hangs around with.

"How about this," Taehyung starts, gum in his mouth, "the first girl who walks in, you have to successfully get in her pants."

Jungkook rolls his eyes. They were in a damn lecture hall and yet Taehyung had no shame bringing up sex. Typical.

“This again, bro?” Hoseok sighed. “Aren’t you sick of bribing us to do weird shit for you?”

Taehyung smirked.

“Not at all, actually.”

"For how much?" Namjoon cut in, probably curious for the price point Taehyung would arrange this time. He was fired from his job just a week ago and could really use the money. "I'll do it if it’s enough to pay for my rent this month."

Taehyung scoffs, although knowing full well he could pay for all of the boys’ tuitions combined if he wanted to. He was the resident rich bachelor on campus after all.

"I'll pay it for a full year and your utility bills too if you're really down," Taehyung flaunts. "You just gotta have proof you actually managed to do it."

"Dude that's gross," Seokjin chimes in, "No one wants to send you proof of us doing it with a random girl."

Taehyung shakes his head.

"No, no, no," he says, clicking his tongue. "I phrased it incorrectly. I’m not a fucking pervert."

“You got us fooled,” Jimin mutters. 

Taehyung leans in closer to the six boys and even Jungkook finds himself getting intrigued. Admittedly, he was a little curious considering he hasn't had a proper meal in weeks. He could really use having some extra cash for food without worrying about rent.

"You have to date the girl for like three months," Taehyung says seriously, "and I'll consider that as enough proof that you managed to actually do it since I know you guys are too horny to wait any longer than that to fuck."

They all look at Taehyung in disgust, Jimin even opting to hit him in the back of the head for being so vulgar. To be fair, they were all thinking of accepting Taehyung's bet regardless. It's not like they were new to leading girls on anyway.

"You gotta pay me more than that to fuck just any girl," Yoongi says, yawning in the process. He seemed the least likely to take up Taehyung's offer, but he was still game depending on the person.

"Then how would you feel," Taehyung starts, "if I told you guys that I could get you priority registration for next quarter."

The boys, even the ones who weren't interested, were now listening to Taehyung's every word.

"You mean," Hoseok gulps, "I could finally get that fucking Organic Chemistry class I need to get out of this hell hole?!"

Taehyung shrugs, an ominous smile on his face.

"Just the perk of having parents who have connections," Taehyung replies. “I’ll only accept one of you guys to do it though. I don’t wanna have you all fucking the same girl- that’d be weird.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what’s weird about this,” he grumbles.

“So are you guys in or not?” Taehyung asks, his patience growing thin.

He lays back on his chair, a smoldering look on his face when they all nod. They were desperate for money after all.

"The next girl that walks in will be the subject of this bet and whoever calls dibs on her first will be the one to woo her,” he says with a stretch of his arms. “Good luck boys.”

They all turned to look at the door and Jungkook watches silently as guy after guy walks into the lecture hall. No girl yet. 

Jungkook was hoping, from the bottom of his heart, that no familiar faces would walk in. If he had to deal with a past fling, he’d have to back out immediately. He never dealt with exes very well.

The guys are at the edge of their seats, praying for a cute girl to walk through that didn’t already know about their horrible reputation. They were looking for an easy target, someone that could fall for their charms almost immediately.

And then, you walk in. You were clad in sweats with earphones on, rushing toward the front row seats of the lecture hall. You were chatting with your friends, yawning several times throughout your conversation with them. Jungkook couldn’t help but smirk. There was nothing special about you to point out, in fact, you were just like everyone else. Strangely enough, he found that the most intriguing part about you.

"Nope, nope, nope," Jimin shakes his head repeatedly. "Can't, won't, never will. Sorry, Tae."

They all stare at him in confusion.

"What the fuck, what's wrong with her?" Yoongi asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Jimin faces away from you, not wanting to look at you any longer.

"No, nothing," there seems to be a blush forming on his face. He was hiding something.

“Bullshit,” Taehyung furrows his brows. “Bro, if she’s crazy and one of us gets our dick bitten off, we’re all blaming you, so spit it out.”

Jimin just sighs.

"She's been giving me Professor Kwon’s notes for the past few weeks,” he starts, much to the confusion of his friends. “Her name is [Y/N]. It'll be really mean if I go after her, especially since she and I are kind of friends. Plus, I really need to pass this class. I failed last quarter..."

The boys groan. Jimin was no fun.

"She's not my type so I don't think I could really get into it either," Seokjin states, no longer interested in the prize after Jimin’s confession. He’s been banking off of your notes from him too. 

"Aren’t we all old enough to know not to mess with people’s feelings?" Hoseok sighs.

They roll their eyes at Hoseok’s statement. Who was he trying to fool with the nice guy act? He probably fooled around with girls just as much as the other guys did.

"Yeah, I’m backing out," Yoongi agrees, "and she hates me so there's that."

They all look at him questioningly and he puts his hands up in the air from their gazes.

"What? I just realized who she’s talking to down there.”

He pointed at a girl discreetly, but no one seemed to recognize her.

“Her friend and I dated,” Yoongi continues, “and I broke up with her over text and blocked her without letting her respond. That whole friend group is pretty much pissed at me. I'd rather not have to deal with them again."

The guys look disapprovingly at him. Breaking up over text was harsh, but probably not the worst thing Yoongi has done to his exes.

"You're actually a piece of shit," Namjoon sighs. "I really do need my rent paid though..."

Jungkook nods in agreement. It's been almost impossible to balance Taekwondo practices, college papers, and working a part-time job all at once. If he could somehow find a way to quit his job for a while and get priority registration for classes, then he doesn't mind getting his hands a little dirty in the process. Plus, you were cute enough and he's sure you weren't too difficult to befriend as long as he doesn't mention Yoongi in any conversations.

"I'm in," Jungkook chides, finally saying something after such a long period of silence.

They all look at him with disbelief in their eyes. Jungkook was never the one to partake in Taehyung's bets. In fact, he was the one usually ridiculing them for participating. He must have been really desperate if he was willing to do it.

"I mean, it's all yours if you want," Namjoon replies, "I don't wanna turn it into a competition.”

“Don’t worry dude,” Jungkook fist bumps Namjoon, “I’ll quit my job and refer you for it.”

They nod at each other as if they were on the same wavelength. 

“I knew I could rely on you,” Namjoon says, faking tears from his eyes. The boys groan in response.

“Alright,” Taehyung claps his hands. “In exchange for providing me some mindless entertainment and going out with [Y/N], you will get your rent paid for the rest of the year and get early registration for next quarter. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.”

Jimin shakes his head.

“I don’t know about this, guys...”

Jungkook doesn’t hear him and instead takes one last look at you. You catch him in the corner of your eye and you can’t help but feel flustered at his serious expression. 

“Should be easy enough,” he mutters to himself and turns his gaze back onto his friend.

“So we have a deal?” Taehyung asks.

He smirks, shaking the outreached hand Taehyung held out for him. He steals another glance at you and he finds you staring right back. He gives you a wink.

“Deal.”

—

Jungkook slid into the seat next to yours in the campus canteen, his eyes filled with determination. His posture was laid-back, but it was a little too obvious that he was trying to act like he didn’t care.

“Hi,” he greets you in a breathy tone- girls loved it when he spoke with his breathy tone.

“Hi?”

You’d been sensing that someone was staring at you during the lecture, but you thought that was just the paranoia that came from being near such an intimidating group of guys. Turns out, you should always trust your instincts.

Jungkook had a boyish grin on his face that made you want to smile back but also stare at him in disgust.

“I heard you help Jimin with Professor Kwon’s notes,” he whispers mischievously. “I’m struggling myself, actually...”

Not really, but you know. This was the easiest tactic to approach you- tackle your similarities. You nod understandingly at his words, not quite getting that he was flirting with you.

“Yeah I can send you the Google Drive folder,” you comply, taking your phone out. “But you can’t let Professor Kwon know or else he’ll flip out. He doesn’t want people to have the notes for some odd reason...”

You trail off but Jungkook just scoffs. You seemed clueless.

“That’s not what I necessarily meant,” he says, a little shy this time. “I need a tutor.”

You furrow your brows at him.

“Yeah, you’re gonna have to pay me for that,” you say seriously. The last time you offered to tutor someone for free, they ended up blaming you for their failing grade and screaming about it all over social media. You needed money to compensate for that emotional trauma. “Microeconomics is hard to teach.”

“Well thankfully I’m a good student,” Jungkook teases. You stare at him with a deadpan face.

“You wouldn’t need my help if you were a good student,” you say blankly, standing up from your seat. “My hourly rate is 20,000 Won. Take it or leave it.”

Jungkook’s eye twitched. He had to spend his money to get Taehyung’s money? Well, the payout would be worth it in the end anyway. He reaches out a hand to you.

“If you’d have me,” he says cheekily, looking up at you. You take his hand in yours and maybe for a second you felt your heart skip a beat, but that was soon over when you let go of him.

“You have sweaty hands,” you say straightforwardly. You wipe your hand on your shirt and he coughs awkwardly at how unresponsive you truly were. Didn’t Jimin say you were a nice person? 

You take your barely-touched lunch tray and walk away from his pensive figure.

“Wait, can I get your number?” he yells. You don’t look back.

“Alright, whatever,” he mumbles to himself. “I’ll just ask Jimin, I guess.”

Without even a second glance, you disappear from his sight. He sits back on his chair, heaving out a deep sigh. Sure, this wasn’t the first girl that didn’t care much for his advances, but you didn’t even crack a smile or anything. This is going to be harder than he thought...

—

“She hates me,” Jungkook whines to Seokjin as they walked down the university halls to their next shared class. “Yesterday, I went up to her to get her number and I left with a fucking debt. Does that make any sense?”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have taken on the bet,” Seokjin yawned. “Namjoon would have wooed her with his poetry by now or some shit.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I’m sure she’s interested in a dude who can’t even put on a hat without causing an earthquake.”

Seokjin smacked him on the back.

“At least he’d have the guts to say no to having a fucking tutor,” Seokjin replies. “You dug your own grave, man. Now roll around in it.”

“Do you want me to succeed or not?” 

“I want you to not be a fucking dumbass, Jungkook,” Seokjin sighs. “Do you really wanna make your reputation worse than it already is?”

Just as Jungkook was about to reply, he catches a glimpse of you walking farther ahead in the university courtyard. You were a bit far but he’s sure he could make it if he hurries. He smacks the binder he held in his right hand onto Seokjin’s chest.

“Yo, can you cover for me,” he asks hastily and Seokjin stares at him with a concerned gaze. He watches as Jungkook takes off his backpack and leaves it on the ground. Jungkook looked about ready to break out in a sprint.

“What the fuck, why?” Seokjin questions.

“Just tell the TA I’m out for a bit,” he says in response, already running ahead to catch up to you. “I’m winning this fucking bet or I’ll die trying.”

Jin stands still, mouth agape. Jungkook really left him with his backpack and binder just to talk to you. He shakes his head. ‘I need to make new friends,’ he thought to himself, picking up the discarded backpack and walking in the direction of the class Jungkook was planning to be late to.

You were walking with your earphones on, not noticing someone sprinting at you in record speed. You only turn your music off when Jungkook stops in front of you, his hands on his knees. He was panting heavily.

“Hey,” he says through deep breaths. You nod at him awkwardly.

“Why are you running?”

“I wanted to... catch up to you... and I thought... you were closer... but the run here... took... fucking... forever,” he says breathlessly. “Water. I need water.”

You take out a bottle from your tote bag hastily, handing it to him. He took it into his hands, grazing your fingers a bit. As he was about to start chugging it, you halted him.

“Waterfall,” you say curtly- you were still planning to drink out of it later after all. 

He nods in response, a drop of sweat cascading the side of his neck. After he was done, there was practically no water left anyway. ‘I’m gonna have to refill it myself,’ you thought begrudgingly. You stuff it back into your bag and wait until his breaths become more even.

“A bit out of shape, huh?”

He scoffs and gives you a glare, clearly offended.

“I actually have a Taekwondo scholarship, you know that? I just wasn’t warmed up and I’m naturally sweaty so it’s not like-”

You laugh a little.

“I’m joking,” you say, a smile adorning your face. He feels his face turn red and he can’t help but purse his lips out of embarrassment. Jeon Jungkook couldn’t take a fucking joke.

“O-oh,” he says shyly, avoiding your gaze. Why was he acting more like an idiot than usual? You hear the chiming bells of the university tower and stare at your phone to check the time.

“Don’t you have a class?” you ask him. His eyes widen and soon he was dashing off again. He turns around mid-run, jogging backward to face you.

“My number is 06-1313-9197,” he yells, loud enough for the other late students in the courtyard to hear. Most of them roll their eyes, knowing that Jungkook was flirting with another girl yet again. You’re embarrassed by the amount of attention he’s getting, but punch his number on your phone anyway.

“Text me,” he shouts. “I’ll always respond to you.”

Now it was your turn to be flustered.

—

"That’s wrong,” you say, reaching over to Jungkook’s notebook and marking a large ‘X’ on his paper. “You’re not supposed to apply that function for this problem...”

Jungkook stared at you with a tired face. He didn’t think he was too bad at the mathematical aspect of Microeconomics, but it seemed like it was your life’s mission to make him look like an idiot. Of course, you caught every mistake that he made- even the ones he made on purpose just to see if you were really paying attention to his work and not bamboozling him.

“My bad,” he mutters, copying down the same problem on a different sheet of paper. He didn’t even get a chance to make a move on you today- not like he could make any big developments in the campus library anyway.

“Is it like this?” he asks, tilting his notebook to face you. You take a hard look at it and nod.

“Yeah, just make sure you know the difference between these two formulas, or else you’ll mess up on the midterm,” you say thoughtfully.

This was your fourth or fifth tutoring session by now? Truth be told he wasn’t really counting. Each moment he spent with you kind of blended together and he didn’t quite know if that was a bad thing or not.

“You know you’re not even struggling,” you say, your nose buried deep in your textbook. “It’s not like you’re completely clueless like Jimin. It seems like you’re wasting money on stuff you already know.”

Jungkook laughs heartily, getting shushed by the people around him. He really was stupid, wasn’t he?

“Yeah, well, it was just an excuse to hang out with the pretty girl in class, you know?” he says as nonchalantly as he could. You stare at him for a second and he swears he feels his body freeze over. If looks could kill...

You just shook your head with a click of your tongue and got back to reading.

“The pretty girl in class is most definitely not me,” you grumble. “If you wanted, I could’ve given you Soobin’s number without all the added hassle of you trying to come talk to me-”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Jungkook stops you from saying anything else. He looked worriedly at your face. “I don’t even know who the hell Soobin is, why would I want her number?”

You look at him and finally, you chuckle. ‘She really does have a nice smile,’ Jungkook thought to himself. It would be nice if he could make you laugh more often and not just on rare occasions like this.

“You’re saying you don’t know Yoongi’s ex?” you tease slightly. You were finally letting your guard down with him and Jungkook smirked. One wall down, another million more to go.

“Bold of you to assume that I know any of Yoongi’s exes,” he says and you scoff. “He’s an asshole when it comes to dating.”

You roll your eyes.

“Isn’t that your whole friend group?”

He pouts. You knew of his reputation after all. Jungkook thought he could get away playing a nice boy act, but it didn't seem possible considering your knowledge of him. A little white lie couldn’t hurt in the end.

“Not me,” he replies. “I choose my relationships pretty carefully.”

You take a glance at him before jotting down a few more words in your notebook.

“Well,” you start off, a little shy to admit what you were about to say, “I guess we both have that in common.”

He tilts his head rather cutely out of confusion.

“What do you mean?”

You cough awkwardly, adjusting yourself on one of the library’s notoriously squeaky seats.

“I’ve never really had a boyfriend before,” you say quietly. His eyes bulge out from their sockets.

“You’re lying.”

“No, I’m not,” you say, a hint of amusement in your voice.

“Like, you’ve never been on a date or what?”

“I have,” you say hesitantly. “I’ve been on a few but they just never led into anything serious. I was pretty focused on studying in high school so there weren’t really any opportunities to get involved with someone. Plus, the guys who pursued me weren’t very... attractive.”

Jungkook laughs loudly again, much to the dismay of the other students in the library. He liked that you didn’t beat around the bush- it was easier to talk to you that way.

“And me?” he asks teasingly, laying his head on his arm that was atop the desk. He looks up at you with that boyish grin of his that gave you small butterflies in your stomach. You stare back at him, but only for a second. You ignore his watchful gaze and continue to flip through your textbook, trying to find the passage you last read. He keeps his eyes locked on you and you just couldn’t resist.

“What about you?” you ask, feigning ignorance.

“Am I attractive?” he replies as bluntly as he could. You stop your movements and he chuckles.

“You’re... cute,” you settle on that word. Cute. It was safe enough to not be misinterpreted too much. He sits up straight with a satisfied smirk. He takes his pen and draws a heart on the side of your notebook. He winks at you when you stare back at him, puzzled by his actions.

“You are too.”

—

“Tell me you’re lying,” Soobin whines disappointingly, shaking your shoulders. You were trying to eat lunch undisturbed in one of the campus cafes but your two friends seem hell-bent on making you suffer. “There’s no way you’re friends with Jungkook.”

You sigh, attempting to rid yourself of Soobin’s grasp but to no avail.

“He’s an asshole, [Y/N],” Gaeun sighs disappointingly. “I thought you were a feminist, why the fuck do you even tolerate him?”

You glare at her for a split second before going back to prying Soobin off you.

“Jungkook has no respect for women or himself. It shows in how many shitty friends he has,” Soobin chants, still clearly bitter that Yoongi dumped her.

You shake your head, rolling your shoulders back when she finally lets go of you.

“Jungkook’s not even as bad as you guys describe him,” you reply. “He’s actually been really sweet.”

The girls take a glance at each other and burst in a fit of laughter.

“You must be out of your damn mind,” Gaeun cries. You cower slightly at their words. It’s not like you said anything that controversial, did you?

Soobin slaps Gaeun on the shoulder when she realizes how your face had soured. It wasn’t right to judge you for your choice of friends so harshly, no matter how horrid said person was.

“As long as it doesn’t go past friends,” she says soothingly, but that only made you feel worse.

“Why?” you ask a little hesitantly. “Does Jungkook sleep around?”

Gaeun nods, a worrying glimpse in her eyes.

“He's not exactly the type to kiss and stay...”

You nod understandingly. You weren’t too clueless to believe Jungkook when he said he was “careful” on who he dated. As long as you knew the boundaries that came with being his tutor, everything should be fine... right?

“Don’t worry guys,” you say with determination. “I’m not the type to get played-”

“Of course you are!” Gaeun sighed. “Guys gravitate towards girls like you who lack experience. Jungkook’s a fucking weirdo, of course, he’s gonna try and-”

“[Y/N]!” a shout from across the cafe screams. That distracted you from the various insults Gaeun was spewing from her mouth. You get that she was being critical of Jungkook, but did she have to speak ill of you too?

You look around and catch Jungkook waving frantically at you. He stops at your table and takes a mere glance at your friends before setting his focus on you. 

“Do you have time to help me out today? One of the papers for my writing class-”

“You tutor him in writing now, too?!” Soobin exclaimed, mouth agape. “[Y/N], what the fuck.”

You try to ignore your friend’s overreaction, a little disheartened when Jungkook looked hurt at their words. He had started to shy away from them as if he didn’t feel welcomed.

“Nevermind, I’ll just ask you later-”

“Actually,” you say standing up. “I’m free now.”

The two girls look back and forth between you and Jungkook, noticing the stars in your eyes when you looked at him. They did not like the thought of you two together at all.

“But [Y/N]-” 

You ignored their words and start to walk away, hoping Jungkook would come catch up to you. You didn’t quite know why their insistence on him being a bad person had made your blood boil. It wasn’t like you weren’t aware of his flirtatious tendencies, but hearing from your friends that you shouldn’t pursue a guy that you liked-

You stopped in your tracks and feel heat climb up your face. Like.

No way you admitted that just now. There’s no possible way you actually like-

“Hey, wait up,” Jungkook pants, his hand touching your shoulder. “Why do you walk so fast for-”

He sees your shocked face and turns you towards him, his hands on your shoulder similar to how Soobin had shaken you just earlier. Except this time, it felt comforting. It made your whole body feel warm as if you were coated with a weighted blanket. Was he always this gorgeous?

“What’s wrong?” he asks, inspecting your face closely. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“N-nothing,” you swipe his hands away and rush out the door of the cafe. He smirks at how flustered you look, maybe he did have an effect on you after all.

Jungkook takes a last glimpse at the two girls who sat in their seats, staring at him disapprovingly. He raised an eyebrow at them and shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans, following after you. ‘They’ll try to get in the way,’ Jungkook thought to himself, ‘but they’re already too late.’

The girls clenched their fist out of annoyance. He was definitely trying to get on their nerves.

“There’s something strange about what’s happening,” Gaeun mutters.

“They’re up to something,” Soobin agrees. “I don’t trust him at all.”

—

It’s been a week since you last spoke to your friends, not really wanting to read the messages they bombarded you with about how you should stay for away from Jungkook. It was hard to take any of their advice seriously when they were just badmouthing him without reason. They based all their opinions on him from rumors around the school and Soobin always felt the need to compare him to Yoongi even though they both had very different personalities. Well, at least to you they seemed very different.

Frankly, you were sick of their nagging and just turned off notifications from that group chat altogether. Instead of sitting next to them during Microeconomics, you opted to sit with Jungkook in the back of the lecture hall instead of at the front with them. Jungkook had abandoned his own rowdy friend group to sit with you and flashed them quick smirks and winks whenever they’d stare at him. 

Slowly, Jungkook had started to become a constant in your day to day life. You walked to class with him, ate with him, played video games with him. It was sort of strange how used to you were of his presence, like you had known him your whole life. Jungkook snaps you out of your thoughts when he starts humming a little tune.

He draws a heart in the corner of your notes- which you find he has a habit of doing whenever he wanted to say something stupid.

“I don’t get what he’s saying,” he pouts cutely. “It’s like he’s speaking a foreign language.”

You shake your head, not paying him any mind.

“Well maybe if you actually paid attention,” you mutter softly. He scoots closer to you and you feel yourself stiffen.

“But you’re tutoring me later on anyway,” he says teasingly. “I get more bang for my buck if I know less.”

“Bang for my buck,” you scoff. “Who even says that anymore?”

He points at himself nonchalantly and you can’t help but crack a smile as you continue to focus on the professor’s words. You don’t even cower under his gaze like you usually do when he stares at you with those puppy dog eyes.

“What do you want?” you ask, finally caving when Professor Kwon adjusted something in his PowerPoint slides. He smiles.

“I want to hold your hand,” Jungkook replies and you could feel your palms clam up. His flirtatious comments increased as time passed and you didn’t really quite know whether he was just teasing you or if he was genuinely interested in you. You weren’t very good at taking a hint.

“I’m writing right now...” you reply, slightly skipping a beat in your note-taking. He really was the ultimate distraction, wasn’t he?

Jungkook pouts sadly, but you can tell an idea pops up in his mind when his eyes start to glimmer. He sits his hand on your thigh and you jolt back from the touch of his hand on the material of your jeans. He pulls away slightly, scared that he had made you uncomfortable.

“I just want to put my arm around you,” he asks innocently. “Are you okay with that?”

You calm yourself down and nod. For goodness sake, you weren’t a child- why did a hand on your thigh make you so nervous for?!

“Yeah,” you say, a little more confident despite your nerves. “Go ahead.”

He smiles softly at you and connects his hand to your waist, pulling you a little closer to him. It was comforting, not at all meant to be more than just a public display of affection. He finds himself getting lost in the lecture along with you, his hand playing with a loose thread on your shirt through it all. He didn’t even look at his friends who were teasing him on the other side of the class or your own friends shooting daggers into his being.

At that moment, it was you, him, and Professor Kwon giving out a lecture that had half of the students already asleep. He smiled at how diligently you worked and how your breath would quicken when Professor Kwon switched the slides without a warning. It was the little idiosyncrasies like this that caught his attention, the kind of things that made him wonder where you’d been all his life.

The smile on Jungkook’s face disappeared when he came to that realization.

Fuck.

—

Jungkook rolls around the grass while you sit on the picnic blanket you two had set up. Midterms were over and grades would soon be announced. He wanted a much-needed distraction from the monotony of constant studying and you had suggested a small picnic in a nearby park. Of course, he agreed. 

“We’re free,” he groans. “Finally free.”

Jungkook stares hungrily at the assortment of food you had laid out for the two of you. He tries to reach a hand out to grab a bottle of lemonade but ultimately fails in the end. You giggle at his silliness, popping a grape in your mouth.

“You’re welcome by the way,” you say jokingly. “Don’t think you could’ve done it without me.”

He sits up to face you, bowing deeply as if you were a traditional empress.

“Thank you,” he says, imitating a Joseon accent. He was watching far too many historical dramas recently.

“You’re embarrassing me,” you say, attempting to straighten him out. “Sit up.”

He complies, only after a few pulls from you, with a toothy grin on his face.

“Seriously, I don’t think I could have gone through the first few weeks of Professor Kwon’s class without your notes,” he sighs, opening his mouth to signal that he wanted to be fed. You roll your eyes but placed a grape between his teeth anyway.

“You have hands, you should know how to use them,” you mumble shyly.

You move to take another grape for yourself, but he grabs your wrist before you could. He intertwines his fingers into yours.

“Why should I when my hands are holding yours~,” he says in a sing-song voice. It made you want to throw up at how cheesy he was, but you couldn’t help but laugh along as he cringed at his own words. When was it so normal for him to hold your hands like this?

“You can’t go one sentence without flirting, can you?” you sigh, feigning annoyance.

“Not when it comes to you,” he replies, but you could feel sincerity laced between his laughter. “I can’t resist flirting when it makes you all giggly like this.”

You purse your lips to prevent yourself from smiling too brightly. Jungkook and you were somewhat past the point of being just friends by now, but you were too much of a coward to label what you had with him. What if there was a chance that he was just leading you on?

Jungkook saw your furrowed brows. He rubbed circles on your hands with his thumbs to ease you.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” he asks softly, about to let go.

“No-” you say a little too quickly, clasping him closer to you. Your faces were inches apart now, much nearer than they were before.

“D-don’t,” you attempt to say but you’re tongue tangled as you looked at his lips. He certainly does have nice lips...

“Don’t what?” he asks in a lowly voice. You start to look around you- anywhere that wasn’t him. The park was relatively empty but it still felt embarrassing to say anything too loud.

“D-don’t let me go,” you say, your eyes on the picnic blanket rather than on him. His gaze was too intense to look at. Jungkook feels his heart clench. You were cute, too cute. 

He shouldn’t be feeling this attached to you, but he couldn’t help it. Everything you did, every word that came out of your mouth- it had him wanting more from you than he could possibly handle. It was dangerous to feel this way.

“Why don’t you want me to let you go?” he asks nervously. He too was anxious for the answer. If you were to confess to Jungkook right now, he’d get the first part of the bet done, but there’d be no turning back after your confession. He would have to lie to you from now on. 

Jungkook closed his eyes, chanting to himself that it’s okay to like you for a little while, just as long as he doesn’t get too attached in the end. He needed the money, he really did.

“Because,” you start off with a sigh, staring at him now with glossy eyes. “I like you.”

Jungkook feels like he could do ten backflips in one go and it wouldn’t even drain him of energy. The smile on his face was huge, his eyes curling into that half-moon shape that made you swoon. 

Jungkook was relieved and if the boys asked, it was because he’d only have to date you for three months. He’d die before he’d admit to them that he caught feelings because Taehyung, as generous as he was with his bets, would never give Jungkook the money unless he cleanly broke up with you. It was one of his unspoken rules.

“I like you too.”

You smile at him and he can’t help but pull you close, his lips hovering over yours.

“Can I?”

You nod.

His lips graze yours slightly but he pushes a bit closer when he feels you lean into his touch. He kisses you again, and again, and again, but you pull away when his tongue had started to prod at your lips. Your face was flushed,  embarrassed to be doing this in such a public place.

“Maybe later?” you say, panting slightly. He gives you a cheeky grin and nods.

“At my place?” he asks with a wink.

You hesitate, letting go of his arms, twiddling with your fingers. You wanted to set clear labels on what your relationship was. You didn't want to accidentally get caught up in a friends-with-benefits situation and be all shocked when Jungkook ends up breaking your heart.

“So we’re dating now, right?” you ask cautiously, looking at him with a worried glint in your eyes. 

Jungkook’s mouth opens to speak but no words come out. He thinks a little harder about the whole situation... He was getting good grades, spending some quality time with a girl he’s clearly attracted to, and having his rent paid off all in one? He was killing three birds with one stone. It shouldn’t be too big of a problem to catch feelings for now, right? It’s not like any of his relationships lasted longer than a couple of months anyway.

He nods, cupping your face lightly.

“Yeah,” he hesitates. “We’re dating.”

Jungkook wasn’t aware, as he gives you another light peck, that it wasn’t possible to have his cake and eat it too.

—

It happens naturally. You coming in and out of his apartment that he shared with his friends, you tangling your legs with his underneath the sheets of his bed. It was hard to imagine a life where you didn’t wake up with him by your side. You were so wrapped up in his touch, so wrapped up in the sweet words he would whisper into your ears, that you spent most of your time with him. 

You weren’t really up to date with your friends anymore and he didn’t really hang out with his either. Jungkook shared an apartment with Seokjin and Hoseok, and so the only contact he had with the other boys was when they visited those two. He should’ve known to take you back home when all the boys bombarded into his living room, where you sat with him watching TV. 

“The lovebirds are at it again,” Taehyung coos, a mysterious glint in his eyes. “The honeymoon stage hasn’t passed quite yet, has it?”

Jungkook chucks one of the sofa’s throw pillows at his friend, obviously annoyed. What the fuck did Taehyung think he was doing?

“Quit it,” he mutters. You were sitting next to Jungkook, his arm around your shoulder protectively

“Why?” Yoongi yawns. “Anyone can see how incredibly in love you two are.”

You didn’t quite like the smirk he gave the two of you. This didn’t feel like regular teasing... it felt like he knew something that you weren't aware of. It made you curl your toes out of fear.

“Guys,” Jimin says calmly. “Stop it.”

The boys shrug their shoulders as if they said nothing wrong.

“We’re just pointing out how cute they are together,” Taehyung noted, “It’s not like we’re lying to her or anything-”

“Yeah, or leading her on or anything like that-”

“I think I should go,” you say hurriedly, uncomfortable at how tense the atmosphere was. Jungkook was clenching his fists, about ready to start a fight any second. Knowing his strength, you didn’t want anyone to walk around with a bruised eye because you couldn’t handle a few jokes- if that’s what Taehyung and Yoongi think they’re making. Harmless jokes.

“I’ll take you home,” Jungkook announces, standing up with you. Namjoon pulls him down back on the couch.

“Let someone else take her,” he says sternly. “We need to talk.”

Jungkook was about to protest until you spoke up.

“I can get home by myself just fine.”

“Hoseok and I can take you,” Seokjin insists, pulling the unassuming man up with him. “We don’t mind.”

Hoseok gives you a lopsided smile and you return an equally awkward one.

“Okay, that’s settled,” you say, clapping your hands. You walk over to Jungkook. “I’ll text you later okay?”

He nods, grabbing your hand and kissing it lightly. Yoongi scoffs and Taehyung glares at Jungkook. The dirty glances they were giving each other... You didn’t like it at all.

“Let me know when you get home, okay?”

“Okay.”

—

The walk to your apartment was unnecessarily awkward, Hoseok and Seokjin were talking too much and you talked too little. You tried to respond to their every quip, but you weren’t in the mood for chatting after that whole mess.

“You okay, [Y/N]?” Hoseok asks worriedly. “Don’t think too much about what those idiots said back there, they’re like that all the time.”

You nod, keeping your eyes on the ground. There was something chipping away at the back of your mind, something you wanted to get out of your chest.

“Would you say Jungkook and Yoongi act similarly?” you hesitate to say, “like with relationships?”

The two boys exchanged nervous glances at each other.

“Well, it depends,” Seokjin starts, choosing his words specifically. “What about relationships specifically?”

“Does he...,” you start off, not knowing the right phrase without sounding too harsh, “play around with girls? Like how Yoongi played around with Soobin?”

Hoseok looked at you with a raised brow.

“Who’s Soobin?” he asks before getting punched in the arm by Seokjin. “What the fuck bro!”

Seokjin clears his throat.

“What Hoseok meant to say,” he starts, glaring at his friend a little too harshly, “is that Yoongi never really introduces us to his girlfriends. You, on the other hand, are one of the few girls Jungkook actually took the time to invite over.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok chimes in. “He’s not exactly the most chivalrous, but he wouldn’t ghost someone like Yoongi did.”

Somehow their words weren’t enough to satisfy you. There was still something off in the conversation that transpired between the three boys- as if they were all keeping something from you. You stopped abruptly in front of your apartment complex, finally making eye-contact with the two boys.

“Do you think...” you start, a slight quiver in your voice, “that Jungkook is cheating on me?”

The two boys let out a deep breath that you didn’t even notice they were holding and laughed joyously together. They cackled as if what you said was the funniest thing they had ever heard in their life. Seokjin wipes a stray tear from his eye.

“Y-you think Jungkook’s cheating on you?!”

You nod, a little embarrassed at their reaction. Hoseok shakes his head, sighing out of his laughter.

“Trust me,” Hoseok starts, his breath evening out. “Jungkook would never cheat on you.”

You start to giggle along with them until a serious look suddenly takes over Seokjin’s features. He faces you fully.

“But listen [Y/N],” he starts. “If Jungkook hurts you, just know that he does love you. Like, undeniably. He does.”

“And we’re not just saying that as his friends either,” Hoseok continues. “We know how he’s like and we can tell that he really does like you.”

You smile at the two, feeling a small sense of comfort at their words.

“Thank you, guys. I mean it.”

They pat you on the back.

“Anything for Jungkook’s girlfriend.”

—

You walk through the campus cafeteria, eyes searching for a free table that you can sit alone in. Jungkook had Taekwondo practice so there would be no lovey-dovey feeding time with him. 

He’s been a lot tenser since the living room incident (which was already a week ago) and it seemed like he got more agitated as the days passed. Not towards you directly, but he’d always mutter slight insults whenever Yoongi or Taehyung passed by. It made you worried that you had done something to possibly drive a wrench into their relationship without even knowing it.

‘Whatever,’ you thought, ‘I’ll talk about it with him when he comes over later.’

You aren’t able to find a seat, though, when you feel dainty fingers wrap around  your elbow to pull you back lightly.

“[Y/N],” Gaeun says in a low voice. “We need to talk.”

It wasn’t like you had been ignoring them deliberately, though that was definitely the case at the start. You just couldn’t find the time to really hang out with them as much as you used to since you were with Jungkook most of the time. It was like that too when Gaeun and Soobin were in relationships, so you never really felt bad about doing it yourself.

“Yeah sure. I miss you guys,” you smile at her, but she doesn’t return it back.

“Come with me.”

Gaeun leads you to a table near the back of the room, where Soobin was sat up against the wall with her own tray of food. You sit down in front of her and Gaeun takes the seat next to Soobin.

“Good, you’re here,” Soobin says, apprehension laced in her voice. “We need to talk about Jungkook.”

You roll your eyes.

“Not this again-”

“[Y/N],” Gaeun warns. “Listen.”

You keep quiet, a little intimidated of how scary their expressions were.

“It’s all a bet,” Soobin says sternly.

You furrow your brows at her. She tends to speak vaguely when you needed her to be specific the most.

“What?”

“It’s a bet, [Y/N],” Gaeun repeats for her. “Jungkook’s only dating you because Taehyung said he’d pay his rent off if he did.”

You clench your fist on the table. How could they sit there and spew lies so easily?

“What are you guys-”

“Those dicks do this all the time,” Soobin rambles. “They play stupid games with girls just to fucking break their hearts later on and-”

“I don’t believe you,” you say confidently. “Jungkook would never do that to me. Besides-”

Gaeun didn’t even wait until you stopped talking to play a recording on her phone. The voices were familiar enough to recognize.

“So you’re telling me that Jungkook’s just fucking around with [Y/N] because he wants priority registration? You have to be fucking joking...”

You could tell from the sound of the person’s voice that it was Soobin. It sounded like she was putting on her clothes.

“Of course not. He’s doing it for priority registration and his rent getting paid for the rest of the year. I’m not joking when I say Tae goes big with his bets. He likes to flex his money on us like that.”

Your jaw drops at the sound of the man’s voice. It was Yoongi. You were sure of it.

“And you guys don’t feel bad? Like at all?”

“Why should we? Jungkook’s planning to break up with her next week anyway so she doesn’t catch feelings for too long. It’s not like they were gonna last past the three-month deal...”

Gaeun paused the recording when she sees you bite your lip so harshly that blood starts to surface. This didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel real.

“I hooked up with him last weekend,” Soobin admits, shame written all over her face. “He was spewing stuff about Jungkook spending all his time with you and not really hanging out with the boys like he used to.”

“You still hook up with Yoongi? After all he did to you?” you ask, not meaning to come off aggressive but undoubtedly did.

“Look,” Gauen starts, taking the heat off of Soobin. “She was just drunk and looking to have fun. I was with her that night and I was talking to Namjoon. He...”

Gaeun trailed off, but you were sick of it. Sick of being kept in the dark from something you should’ve known all along.

“What?”

“H-he told me that all the boys were getting tired of him playing around with you,” she says, twiddling with her fingers. “He’s supposed to break up with you today. Some of the guys think he’s just prolonging it to fuck with you and they’re getting really annoyed-”

You bite back the tears threatening to spill over any minute now.

“Hoseok and Seokjin told me to trust Jungkook. They said he wouldn’t hurt me-”

“Did they also tell you that their rent gets paid too if Jungkook pulled through with the bet?” Soobin replies angrily. “Because they live together, don’t they?”

You open your mouth but no sound comes out- just a small whimper. Your lips start to quiver and you bite your lip again to calm yourself down. When you had collected your thoughts, you glared up at the two girls.

“And you didn’t tell me this earlier?”

Soobin scoffed.

“You were fucking ignoring us too, how were we supposed to tell you?”

“Still it wouldn’t have killed you to-”

“Don’t take your anger out on us,” Gaeun warns, her finger pointing at you. “Jungkook is the one to blame. We told you from the start that he was bad news.”

You pursed your lips and Gaeun put her finger down, feeling guilty that she lashed out on you when obviously you were just processing the information.

“Hey, I’m sorry-”

“Why me?” you ask with teary eyes. “What did I even do to them to deserve this?” 

They glance over at each other for a long while before Soobin breaks the silence. You had the right to know, but at the same time, they knew it would break you.

“It’s a sick game that they play where they just choose someone randomly...” Soobin starts off gently handing off the next few words to Gaeun, “and you were just the first girl to walk into Professor Kwon’s lecture hall. He thought you’d be...”

“Easy,” Soobin finished.

Just as they predicted, you had burst out in tears.

—

Jungkook opens the door to your apartment, using the spare key you had given him a month earlier since he tended to visit often. It was more convenient that way. 

He was freshly out of his Taekwondo garb, still sweaty, but otherwise clean from taking a shower at the campus gym. He found it strange at how dark the room was, but he knew you were on the couch from the noticeable lump of a blanket on it.

All Jungkook wanted was to cuddle with you and fall asleep in your arms after such a harrowing day. Lord knows he needs your warmth right now.

He smiled as he made his way towards you, but stops in his tracks when you sit up from where you laid. He couldn’t quite see you in the darkness so he walked to the light switch to turn the lights on. His heart broke at the sight of you.

Tears stained your cheeks, your eyes red and puffy from all the crying. You looked a mess and his blood boiled at the thought of someone hurting you. 

“What happened?” he asked, rushing over to you and cupping your face in his hands. You push him away.

“You don’t have to act anymore,” you say softly. “I can handle it.”

He looks at you with furrowed brows.

“What are you talking about-”

“I get that you really need the money,” you say through bated breaths, “I get that financially, it would have really helped, but did you really have to hurt me to do that?”

Jungkook’s breathing stopped. Everything was happening too quickly, his world crashing down when you uttered those words. He knew what this meant, knew that now you would see past his lies. Jungkook couldn’t have you finding out this way. 

He kneeled in front of you, attempting to wipe away the tears from your eyes but you push him off.

“[Y/N] no-”

“It could’ve been anyone,” you whimper, trying to look up at the ceiling to prevent any more tears from falling down. “Anyone could’ve walked through that door and you would’ve been okay with it.”

“That’s not true-” he interjects but you stop him.

“A-and you flirted with me all the time ‘cause you knew that I wasn’t used to it,” you say, your voice quivering. “You took advantage of me.”

Jungkook shakes his head rapidly, eyes pleading for you to let him speak. It hurt seeing you refuse to even look at him, to have your eyes so filled with sadness because of what he did to you. He fucked up, he fucked up so bad.

“No, you have to listen-”

“They told me not to trust you,” you whimper somberly. “They told me and I didn’t believe them because I... I was delusional or something. I thought that someone like you could actually like someone like me-”

His heart broke. It wasn’t you that didn’t deserve him. It was him. All him.

“Please don’t say that-”

“Did you come here to seal the deal? To finally break up with me?” you ask sadly. “Are you happy you’ll get the classes you want next quarter, Jungkook?”

He clenches his teeth. Jungkook knows you’re mad, knows you have a right to be, but it feels like he’s being cornered by you. Why won’t you give him the chance to speak?

“[Y/N], no,” he says sternly, “You have to trust me when I say that it went past just a bet. I like you. Genuinely, I like you.”

There was no point in lying any longer. You deserved to know the truth, but he needed you to know all of it- not just the information your friends cherry-picked to fit their narrative. He tried to speak again, but you wouldn’t let him.

“How could you,” you whimper. “How could someone be so cruel?”

Jungkook’s heart breaks at the words. He should’ve seen this coming. How could he delude himself into thinking he’d be okay if you find out- that he’d be fine seeing you heartbroken? He was disgusted with himself.

“I’m sorry [Y/N],” he whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

You shake your head, your vision getting blurry from the tears. He clasps your hands in his, knowing that it used to soothe you whenever you felt worried over something, but you just wailed harder at his touch. He didn’t know what to do, he didn't even know where to start.

“Stop pretending like you care,” you cry. “Please. It hurts.”

“It was a bet,” he admits and he breaths through the words to prevent himself from getting too emotional, “but I promise that my feelings are genuine. You have to trust me.”

“Trust you?” you ask crudely.

You stare at him, slowing your breaths to ease the crying. There was a certain emptiness in your gaze and it scared him. It was awfully frightening having you looking at him with a certain animosity that was not there before. Like he was a stranger.

“I can’t do that anymore, Jungkook,” you say softly, “because I hate you.”

—

A/N: Gasp A double update?! Say it isn’t so... I had so much fun writing this!!! Probably one of my favorite fics I’ve written in a while because I love this trope. How do y’all feel about Jungkook? Forgive or forget? Let me know!! Thank you @altus-gens​ for requesting this story, I hope you like it :)

Please leave any comment, critiques, or just random thoughts about my story! I’m planning my murder mystery series rn and I’m so excited (I might... do an album giveaway along with it...) I really love the direction I’m taking this blog in and I hope you guys are excited for the stories to come~~ 

buy me a coffee?

[kidnamedfinger]

hold up opinion on child by mark i have Opinions but i do not want to voice them on my blog lest i end up on markoomfs pottery wheel

firstable hiii url twin <333

i remembered it being meh... i just watched it and its still definitely meh. i think there are little gems of good moments there, obviously the point of the song is that mark is unsure about his status as an idol and an artist now that hes more grown up and has to face criticism and take risks... which is an admirable thing to write about. but his lyrics are kind of clunky unfortunately sowwy mark im sowwy!! i appreciate that hes trying to sing and again there are some good moments but also it doesnt really show us a new side of him just because hes singing because hes staying in a narrow comfortable range... so its ironic cause the lyrics are about fearing these new things but wanting to learn from not knowing, and then the vocal delivery just plays it really safe

the musical arrangement is not sloppy but its confusing, its trying to do three songs at once but again its staying in a very unrisky dynamic range so the emotions that the instrumentals COULD have teased out of the lyrics are just flat. so yeah im all for mark being able to have a greater reflection on his fame and musicality but the execution is just not super interesting or memorable. he says he doesnt know his own strength but instead the song actually ironically shows his weaknesses and in an unflattering way where the vulnerability isnt necessarily intentional - i mean like when he tries for a note that isn't super impressive compared to what literally 80% of his group is capable of, or when he tries a lyrical idiom that doesn't really land

i dont think hes a bad singer and we obviously just dont have enough examples of him singing to put together an objective evaluation, but he inadvertently makes it clear that apart from whatever bare minimum vocal training sm has all of its artists doing, he doesnt actually have anything else interesting to show in that department. i could be optimistic to him returning to this kind of concept if there was a little more effort + charisma in like basically every aspect of it. its not fully his fault this is just what happens with sm station songs tbh, but i hope when molo comes it totally blows me out of the water bc i think i find what mark offers to be pretty predictable at this point. hes an ol' reliable and hes GREAT at what he does, but its predictable

[bestworstcase]

farran rereads lost lagoon: chapters 16-17

back at it.

re: romance novel: “I saw a patch of red flowers, and I thought they would be striking against Cass’s dark hair. She wasn’t exactly a flower wearer, but maybe she’d let me pin one on her dress? The color would set off her fair skin so perfectly. And she could at least keep some in a vase by her bed. I refused to believe there was a person alive who didn’t feel better with freshly cut flowers in her room.” that’s gay rapunzel

i do admittedly have some ambivalent feelings about this passage. on the one hand it’s - yes, very gay. but also it feels to me like such a clear illustration of the difficulty rapunzel has with empathy and listening to other people when their experiences or expectations or needs diverge from hers; she acknowledges that cass isn’t into flowers, but follows it up with “but maybe i can get her to wear some anyway,” and of course there’s the whole refusing to believe anyone could feel differently about having flowers in their room than she does. and it also has this weird undercurrent of - god, i don’t know how to phrase it in a succinct way.

this specific passage was on my mind when i wrote this bit in moonless air chapter 4: 

Still. She plucks at the stitches of her jack-of-plate, self-conscious.

It’s the nicest thing she owns. Soft green velvet sewn over sturdy layers of canvas and steel. Armor. She’d saved up for more than a year to buy it for herself on the anniversary of her adoption two years ago, and at the time it had been nothing but a frivolous luxury. Stupid, really. She’d never had real reason to wear it in Herzingen, not for anything besides teaching herself how to move with its weight and entertaining ridiculous fantasies—but last night, Moira had intimated that their destination in Vardaros is fancy as well as dangerous. So the jack seemed… appropriate.

Sharp. She twitches.

Clothing—fashion isn’t– Cassandra’s always hated dresses. It’s a trait that demands a certain amount of indifference to what other people think of her appearance.

And she can do indifference. Cassandra has indifference in spades. But nobody’s ever paid her a compliment quite like that before: baldly appreciative. Straightforward. Not like all the times Rapunzel coaxed her into tolerating crowns of late-summer flowers because the colors look so nice with your complexion! and not like the Commander’s gruff praise for how grown-up she looked in the hideous pastel gowns that had come with the lady-in-waiting gig.

because – like, cass is butch, and “not a flower wearer,” and here in lost lagoon we have this passage where rapunzel expresses this pretty straightforward attraction to cassandra but in the context of imagining cassandra presenting in a much more feminine way than she is comfortable with - in a dress with flowers in her hair etc - and it just... rubs me the wrong way a little bit. and this is not to say like cass can’t be butch and put a flower in her hair but when it’s paired with rapunzel specifically acknowledging that cass doesn’t WANT to wear flowers then it - yeah i feel weird about this passage. 

and that translated into cass having a whole little crisis over being complimented for her appearance without implicit pressure to be more feminine for the first time ever

anyways

i still can’t get over the name monsieur lefleur 

rapunzel summarizes hervanian culture as “brash but can be funny; distrustful but not mean-spirited” so, basically, they are americans

she is feeling very Prepared to meet with them, in contrast to every other time she’s met with foreign dignitaries or nobility before this. eugene tries to warn her that cass is PISSED with her and she just brushes him off, as one does, by saying that cass is “not all bubbles and moonbeams” but that she is “a softy” inside. 

of course this leads up to cass blowing up and going off while rapunzel tries to calm her down and just - groan this line. 

“People don’t change! You told a criminal a detail that puts my entire future at risk!”

how many times have i said “cass doesn’t act this way in tts” i feel like it’s a constant drumbeat. but i have to say, again, that cass doesn’t act this way in tts. i don’t think it’s unrealistic for her to think like this, given that her father is essentially corona’s chief of police and she idolizes him, but i feel the need to reiterate that there is zero sign of cass having this mindset in tts proper. and it does sort of bother me when people read this into cass’s character because it undermines and delegitimizes her dislike of eugene in early s1. 

which like. tts itself sort of frames their mutual dislike as a mutual problem, but it’s... really not? and imo the best illustration of this is in this exchange from cassandra vs eugene: 

CASSANDRA: Unbelievable. Did you eat all the cookies?

EUGENE: I’m not a pig, Cassandra. I ate all of your cookies; I’m saving mine for later.

CASSANDRA: Ugh– you are nothing but a self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant freeloader!

EUGENE: [scoffing] You know, I can rattle off insulting adjectives describing your personality, too, but to do so would imply that you actually have a personality, and I just wouldn’t feel right about doing that!

this is the dynamic every time they squabble in early s1. 

1 - eugene does something selfish or thoughtless - in this case taking all the cookies and milk for himself. 

2 - cassandra calls him out for it, and he doubles down, often taking a potshot at her in the process. 

3 - cassandra gets mad and calls his behavior what it is (self-serving, inconsiderate, arrogant)

4 - eugene gets defensive and insults her as a person, typically with variations on calling her icy / unfeeling / humorless / joyless. 

which is to say, their fights are initiated by eugene’s poor behavior, and cassandra attacks his behavior but eugene attacks cassandra herself. like, eugene is the dude who insults you and then goes “pfft why can’t you take a joke” when you get upset with him. that’s what this is. 

moreover, when eugene’s, for lack of a better term, residual flynn rider-ness starts to taper off, cassandra’s criticism of his behavior also tapers off, AND she gets much gentler about how she phrases this criticism once he starts to actually take it on board. but there’s no accompanying shift in the way eugene speaks to and about her - the jibes about her being humorless or cranky or soulless literally never stop and at no point does he ever seem to consider that cass might not appreciate them as much as he thinks she does. 

(to be clear, i don’t think they bother cass very much if at all - but they do create and reinforce a perception on eugene’s end that cass Doesn’t Have Feelings and the background radiation of that contributes to the toxicity that develops in season 2.)

like again, pulling from cassandra vs eugene here, eugene is extremely insulting towards cassandra even when he’s ostensibly coming to her defense: 

RANDOM THUG: Look at that, Fancy-Boots has got something to say!

EUGENE: Name-calling? Come on, we’re better than that, aren’t we? Sure, we could sit here and make fun of each other—tease Cassandra for her chronic joylessness, or me for my uncommonly good looks, or you for your poor dental hygiene, tragic fashion sense, robust body odor, and what are clearly woefully misguided decision making skills, but do you really want to go down that road?

ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY - besides demonstrating an obvious willingness to give eugene another chance once he starts doing the bare minimum to not be a dick to her, cassandra doesn’t like eugene because eugene is an asshole to her and takes the enormous privileges he is given completely for granted. 

saying “well she doesn’t like him because he was a criminal and she doesn’t believe criminals ever change” erases that completely and reframes the conflict as cassandra treats eugene unfairly because of bigotry that she needs to unlearn. lost lagoon takes this even one step further in that lost lagoon eugene is genuinely trying to be responsible, he is taking his new lot in life seriously. he doesn’t need cass to tell him off for acting like an ass because he doesn’t act like an ass. he shows actual interest in getting to know cass and makes an effort to break through her hostility in order to get along. unlike his tts counterpart, lagoon eugene really doesn’t do anything wrong, and that makes cassandra’s intense hatred of him on the grounds that he was a thief look completely irrational and, like i said, bigoted. 

it’s just very frustrating to me.

anyways

rapunzel tries very hard to persuade cass that it’s actually totally fine that she told eugene the secret because she just can’t keep secrets from eugene (except the lagoon which she has arbitrarily decided is totes fine to keep secret and i am pretty sure this contradiction never gets pointed out) - and cass is having none of it, and of course arianna interrupts before anything can get resolved. 

they rush out and monsieur lefleur interrupts them, asking questions about the lost lagoon. he reveals that he heard an ~elegant cloaked person~ inquiring about it in the library. he asks for the book. they say no. the red herring smells to high heavens, and the chapter ends with rapunzel subtly telling cass to hide the book ~for the safety of the kingdom~ and oh my god i just can’t handle the low stakes. 

seventeen picks up from there with cassandra’s point of view; she’s suspicious of lefleur and angsts a lot about how she has no time to train and she needs to get out of corona yada yada. her plan is literally to just walk until she finds someone to hire her on as a guard which. lol. this kid.

i feel like this is the strongest passage in the whole book: 

She said there couldn’t be any secrets between Eugene and her. But why—especially when it meant sacrificing my future and everything I held dear? I’d read about romantic love in poems, and it seemed to me like a spell. Sounded great for the lovebirds, but what about the other people.

Did I just not matter in the face of this love, even though I had been the one to risk everything to show Rapunzel the world? Was I just supposed to fall on my sword because Eugene was uncomfortable that he didn’t have every last piece of information about Rapunzel?

she has a brief argument with owl, who is a pretty obvious stand-in for her own doubts / feeling that she truly belongs in corona and doesn’t actually want to leave. but she has no choice! but it’s stormy, so she can’t leave! oh no!

(i think if tts really strongly felt she had no choice but to free corona, a measly thunderstorm would not be enough to stop her.)

[meltwonu]

| good in bed |     [chapter 4]     FINAL

pairing; non-idol!chan x reader

this chapter’s notes; some angst, soft🥺chan, overstimulation, kind of mirror fucking, squirting 😳 A BIG ‘OL THANK YOU!! For all of my readers that were stickin’ with me through GIB!! it was a short short series but I had so much fun writing it! 💕 I can’t wait to put out more content later on~ 🥴💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

Chan doesn’t send any more messages after the last.

And when you reply again, scared that something’s happened to him, he leaves you on read. Chan reads all of your messages and rejects all of your calls for a few days after and you eventually figure it’s time to cut your losses if he didn’t even want to talk to you. But you take the time to ask Soonyoung and Minghao; just in case they have any idea on why Chan would ignore you after he basically admitted he felt the same way you did. But in doing that, you had to explain the entire situation to them before you could even get to asking why he was ignoring you in the first place.

“I dunno, I mean, he still comes to practice? He’s not, like, missing.” Soonyoung takes a bite of his bagel after, pondering the situation. “Are you sure he feels the same way?” Sighing, you stare at the coffee in front of you.

“I mean, I showed you the text, right? So… I don’t know. I thought he did but he was drunk so I guess I don’t really know?” Minghao places a friendly hand on your shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance.

“Chan might just be… confused. I mean, you, yourself, said you had a crush on him before the two of you even entered this whole friends with benefits situation. We don’t know if he liked you before or if he just started to, right?” You nod at Minghao’s comment; Chan had said he had liked you ‘the entire time’ but that either meant the entire time he’d been your friend or the entire time the two of you were physical.

“Yeah that’s… true. I guess I never thought to ask.”

“Why would you have though? Wasn’t your relationship purely physical?” Damn, Soonyoung got you there.

“That’s… also true.”

1:47 PM

You can’t help but fidget in your seat the entire time you wait for Chan to show up. Various different thoughts run through your head as the clock ticks closer to the allotted time you had told him to meet you at. Maybe he wouldn’t and you’d be safe from having to talk to him? Or maybe you could leave now and tell him to not show up?

The bell above the door jingles and you can’t help but avoid looking at whoever it is that walks in, hoping that it’s not Chan.

Sure, you had been the one to ask him to show up. But part of you was genuinely scared what would even come of the talk, should things go in the absolute worst direction. In theory, the worst that could happen is that your friendship with him would be completely over and the thought alone sends your heart racing; palms sweaty in your lap.

“Hey.”

Shit.

You’d been so deep into your thoughts you didn’t even notice that Chan had actually shown up and was standing in front of your table. “Can I… sit down?” You nod slowly, avoiding his eyes as he sits across from you. “I didn’t know if you… um, were gonna show up so I didn’t order you anything.” Chan chuckles awkwardly, music to your ears as you mentally curse at yourself for finding him so cute even when he was the source of all your problems recently.

“It’s okay, I… I didn’t expect you to.”

The air is awkward and tense, the both of you too scared to be the first one to talk. “So…” You both start. This time you and Chan make eye contact, a blush on your faces when your eyes meet. “You first.” Chan lets you speak first; the nervousness in your body bubbling up. This was it.

“I… just want to know what happened? I--I am just so confused. You confessed, kind of? And then just disappeared so...” He frowns at your furrowed eyebrows, knowing the damage he’d caused.

“I know I could apologize to you a thousand times and it’d never be enough for how I acted. But I want you to know I’m genuinely sorry. I--I didn’t… I don’t know, I guess I didn’t really know what to do.”

“What do you mean?” He clears his throat, leg jittery underneath the table.

“I just… I guess I wanted to confess to you at some point but not like that.” A blush blooms on your cheeks almost immediately. “Oh…”

“Yeah.. I, um, I dunno… I wasn’t expecting… I mean, I liked you before but I thought I’d gotten over it at some point? And when I suggested we--we start getting physical since we were both just… in weird places, that it would just be physical. But… I dunno, at some point I felt like it changed and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it.” You nod along, taking in his words slowly. “And I guess I just got confused with myself. Because I wanted to be more than friends but I wasn’t sure if I was ready for a whole relationship, y’know?”

Chan pauses, letting you and himself take a breather. You take this time to mull over some questions you’d had for him. “So… what were all those weird jealous moments about? Did you already… um, like me then?”

“I… I don’t know. It was just a weird visceral feeling? I don’t know when things changed for me, but it’s possible. I wouldn’t doubt it at this point.”

“And the--the picnic?”

He bites his lip, the blush on his cheeks intensifying. “I---I was fully prepared to tell you that night. Or at least ask you. But I was scared. I could see that you seemed to reciprocate how I felt but I guess I was just scared that maybe I was reading you all wrong.”

“So you knew I liked you?”

“Well, yes and no? You seemed to catch on to my weird moments and… I dunno, I guess I kind of felt like you felt the same way but maybe I should’ve asked instead of just assuming? Fuck, I dunno. I’m stupid.” He laughs at his own words, running a hand through his hair as he looks you over. “How about you?”

This time it’s you that clears your throat, ready to let out everything you’d felt. “I--Well, if I’m being completely honest with you, I liked you too.”

“Did you want to be physical with me because of it?”

“I mean, kind of yes but also I thought maybe I’d be able to keep it together and not let things get out of hand. And then maybe I could find someone else and then just end things with you eventually, assuming we’d probably get tired of just fucking or something. But then I saw how you were acting and the times you’d get jealous and I guess I just assumed too. And then you confessed and I was ready to just spill my guts then but then you kind of just ghosted me instead.” The two of you are silent afterwards, simmering in your thoughts and feelings about each other.

“I guess we’re both really fuckin’ stupid, huh.”

You snort at his comment, eyes rolling jokingly at it. “I knew us getting physical would be a problem. I just didn’t think it’d end up like this. I thought I was pretty good at keeping my shit together but the more I saw you lose it, I kind of did too.”

“So where do we go from here?”

The two of you decide to try dating properly this time; finally accepting that the two of you were idiots but felt the same way towards each other. He doesn’t make any moves to get physical with you immediately, which you appreciate, letting yourselves build up the relationship again. And Chan makes an effort to take you on dates quite often even if Soonyoung kicks his ass twice as hard at practice each time he skips.

“Chan I swear you’re not gonna be able to make it to the dance comp at the end of the year if you keep pissing Soonyoung off.”

“He can’t do that to me, I’m his favorite!” He kisses you on the forehead once he walks you to your door. He’d taken you out for ice cream and then the two of you had strolled through the park until sunset before he walked you home.

“I have practice tonight though, as per hyung’s request, but I’ll see you tomorrow?” You nod, pulling him into a hug and nuzzling into his chest.

“Okay.”

When you wake up the next morning, you feel like shit though. That’s for sure. Your throat hurts and your head feels fuzzy as you turn in bed, trying to find your phone through sleepy eyes. You text Chan that you’re most likely sick and that it’s probably best he doesn’t show up, not waiting for a reply before the sleep overtakes you once more.

You can vaguely register the sound of the door opening, a few hours later.

“Babe?”

“Mmh…”

Chan stands in your doorway, a bouquet of flowers in his left hand with a ‘get well soon’ balloon in his right. “Wow, you look… sick.” You raise a brow at his comment.

“I… am sick.”

“...True.”

He walks over, setting the flowers down on the nightstand next to your bed before he ties the balloon to the headboard. “I know you said not to come but I should take care of my sick baby, y’know? Like a good boyfriend?” You laugh, tugging your bed sheets over you as you get comfortable again. “What exactly are you gonna do, Chan? Last I checked you can cook the bare minimum.”

“Yeah, but I can order food too. I’m really good at ordering in~” He sets his things down onto your vanity before he turns to you with a scheming smile as he walks closer towards you.

“Ugh, Chan, what are you doing?” He peels your bedsheets from over you, tossing them to the floor before joining you on the bed.

“Um, you said you weren’t feeling well so I thought… Well, I don’t know what I was thinking, I think? Well, what I mean to say is that I thought maybe I’d fuck the sick out of you?”

“I said I had a head cold…”

“So you don’t want to fuck?”

“Well, I never said that.” You groan as he massages your legs. “But I feel so gross too…”

“I read on the internet that it’s good for you to sweat out a cold though. What better way than to fuck it all out?”

“That’s probably true but I feel gross… Don’t I look gross?” Chan smiles down at you, spreading your legs before slotting himself between them. “No, not really. You’ll always be pretty to me… even if you’re sick and probably real snotty right now.”

“Wow, thanks, that did incredible things for my self confidence.”

“You know I’m kidding, beautiful!!” He massages your thighs, dragging his hands up into your shirt until he cups your breasts in his hands. You moan at the feeling, arching up into his touch as he pinches your nipples underneath the material of your shirt. “Ngh, Chan, I dunno if it’s just because I’m sick but my body is so sensitive right now…”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Maybe? All I know is that I kind of want a shower though.”

“... I’ve got just the idea.”

Chan peels your clothes off of you, kissing every inch of skin that gets revealed. He has you sitting on the countertop in the bathroom, waiting for the shower to heat up.

“If you don’t feel up to it, just let me know, okay? I’ll stop if it’s too much. I know how tired you probably are.” Nodding, you watch as he finally takes his clothes off, tossing them into the pile of your clothes on the floor.

“Don’t you wanna fuck the sick out of me?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to push you too far. I don’t want you fainting in the shower, y’know?” You nod, swinging your legs slightly as you sit on top of the countertop. “Doesn’t this just remind you of… that other time.” Chan spreads your legs, standing in between them as he rests his palms on your thighs.

“Oh, you mean the time I--I got jealous because of Soonyoung-hyung?”

“Yeah… It was also the time you left before saying anything. And you said you weren’t jealous.” Chan slowly drops to his knees, prying your legs open more until your wet folds are exposed to his face. “Huh… yeah, guess I was lying.” He leans in, licking a stripe of your wetness before he moans. “Fuck, you’re already so wet. And you taste so good.” You tangle a hand in his hair, your head tilting back until it meets the mirror behind you. “Mmh, Chan…”

He continues to lap at your folds, dipping his tongue into your pussy and prodding at your clit until you’re mewling above him. “P-please use your fingers too…” Chan brings a hand to your folds, coating them in your wetness before he positions one at your entrance, tongue on your clit when he eases it in.

The shower steams up the whole bathroom, coating your skin in a slight sheen. You feel a little lightheaded as well, although you can’t tell if it’s your head cold or if it’s Chan. He thrusts his finger in, arching it inside of you continuously. And it feels good but you want more. And Chan, almost like he can read your mind, adds another finger in, scissoring them inside of you before arching them into your g-spot. He sucks your clit into his mouth, wiggling his fingers until you cum all over them.

“Fu----Fuck, Chan!!!” You can’t help but whimper, hand tugging on his hair for dear life until he moans against you. He works you through your orgasm, only slowing down when you beg him to.

“Wow, guess you really are sensitive.”

“I--I tol--told you… my body’s sensitive right now…” You feel boneless when he pulls his fingers out, a moan on your lips as you watch him bring his wet fingers to his cock as he stands. “Yeah, but damn, I think that was the quickest I’ve ever gotten you to cum before.” Your legs are shaking as the remnants of your orgasm fade away but the longer you watch Chan spread your wetness all over his cock, the more impatient you get for him to just fuck you. “Can you just… fuck me here?”

“Can you take me already?” He shoots you a smirk, eyes glancing into the mirror behind you. “Actually, I have an idea, sweetheart.” You tilt your head in confusion, letting him help you off of the countertop before he spins you around, hand on your spine as he presses your front into the cold marble. In this position, you can see your own reflection in the mirror as Chan stands behind you.

“I want you to watch yourself while I fuck you. I want you to see how pretty you are when you’re coming apart on my cock.”

You can’t help but gulp, watching as your cheeks flare up at the thought of having to watch yourself. There’s condensation all over the mirror, but you wipe it away just enough to see yourself and Chan. “O-okay…” You watch Chan’s expressions as he stands behind you, lining up his cock at your entrance. His brows furrow in focus, tongue peeking out as he starts to inch himself inside of you. There’s a bit of a sting as he pushes in; it had been a while since the two of you had fucked after all. But the stretch also feels immensely good, a moan spilling out of your lips as your eyes watch your pleasured expression in the mirror.

“Chan, you feel so g-good…”

It takes a moment before he’s completely seated inside your warmth; giving you a minute to adjust before he starts to slowly fuck you from behind. His hands are on your hips, urging you to meet his thrusts.

“God, you’re so beautiful, baby.” You can’t help but tighten around him, moans spilling from your lips and fogging the mirror back up. The steam makes it harder to breathe but you don’t even care at this point, too focused on how good he was making you feel.

But Chan is Chan, and he can be a tease when he wants. So he pulls out until only the head of his cock is inside of you, only shallowly thrusting it in. You whine, wiggling your hips at him but he doesn’t do anything but change his pace, thrusting into your quicker. And the feeling of only his cock head inside of you is a little weird at first, but you can’t deny the way your lower abdomen tightens up as your orgasm builds.

“Wuh--wait, Chan, I’m--ah, I’m gonna c-cum…” You sob, teeth clenching. “Yeah? Okay, go ahead. Cum for me.” He can feel you get tighter around his cock head, cries spilling from your lips the entire time. Chan’s close too, but he puts your pleasure before his, finally thrusting in all the way when he feels your orgasm cresting.

The feeling of him bottoming out inside of you the second you cum is euphoric, incoherent babbles on your lips as you feel yourself getting lightheaded at the feeling. Shapes dance behind your eyelids as you shut your eyes in pleasure, a faint ringing in your ears at how intense your orgasm was. 

And everything just feels so much wetter than usual.

Chan chases his own orgasm in the midst of yours, his thrusts becoming erratic as he groans, only a second of warning before he’s spilling inside of you.

You can feel the wetness trickling down your legs already and you vaguely remember the shower’s still going when you start to come down from your high.

“Ch--Chan the s-shower…” There’s a groan behind you, Chan’s nails digging into your skin before he begins to pull out. “Fuck, you--you squirted all over me.” Oh. That actually explained a lot.

“Oh...m’sor--sorry...”

“Why are you apologizing, that was fuckin’ hot.” Chan laughs behind you, watching as the cum trickles down your thighs. “Well, if we didn’t need a shower before, we definitely need it now.” You groan at his comment, unable to even stand up straight. “Chan I--I’m gonna need some help...” 

He helps you into the shower, holding you upright as he pampers your body in light touches and kisses. 

But Chan also fucks you once more in the shower, arms holding you up against the wall as he fucks into you, your tears mixing in with the water as you cum on his cock for the third time.

When you finally get cleaned up, Chan carries you to bed, tugging the bedsheets over you and him as the two of you settle into each others’ arms. Shockingly, you did feel better.

“You know I realized something, Chan...”

“Mm?” He spoons you from behind, nuzzling his face into your neck. “Aren’t you gonna get sick from me?” He sputters into your skin, a hot blush covering his cheeks. “I mean... probably, but then you can take care of me and then you can fuck the sick out of me when it’s my turn?” 

“Ooh... is that when I can tie you up to the bedpost then?” Chan goes rigid for a second before he kisses the shell of your ear. 

“Anything for my cute girlfriend.” 

[shefanispeculator]

Blake Shelton has 28 career No. 1 songs on the Billboard Country Airplay chart, and another seven that have reached the Top 10. It'd be easy just to stick with the singles in making a list of his best songs, but who likes easy?

Find plenty of deep cuts on this list of Shelton's 50 best songs, including his spiritual songs. Those are sprinkled all over the playlist — The Voice coach is a rare singer who can sing about drinking and heartache with as much conviction as his relationship with God. Fans will find a new one called "Bible Verses" on his Body Language album. It does well on this staff and reader partnership.

Songs with ex-wife Miranda Lambert and fiancee Gwen Stefani make the list as well, but the Top 10 Blake Shelton songs are all solo efforts ... with one exception. Is it strange that his most convincing bedroom ballad was a collaboration with a different "Gwen"? Cover songs by George Jones and Conway Twitty, collaborations with RaeLynn and Trace Adkins, and a co-write with Earl Thomas Conley all make this list of Shelton's top songs. Which is your No. 1?

Top Blake Songs: His Greatest Hits + Best Deep Cuts

Taste of Country staff opinion, and the commercial success of tracks from Shelton's 12 studio albums were certainly considered in making this list of the top songs. More than anything, we sought fan input, via sales and direct input. What's your favorite Blake Shelton song, and does it agree with our No. 1?

Below are the The Voice coach's 50 best songs. Lyrical integrity and production were also considered in this ranking. Really it's hard to argue against any of the Top 5, but we understand if there's a debate about placement. Heck, we encourage it!

Warner Music Nashville

No. 50: "She's Got a Way With Words"

Songwriters Andy Albert, Marc Beeson and Wyatt Earp wrote a clever country lyric, but the problem is, it felt too personal from Blake Shelton in 2016. This is the song that stopped Shelton's impressive streak of No. 1 singles. Sonically, very few songs from this era stand apart from one another.

No. 49: "Gonna"

" isn't a bad song — a strong case could be made that it's better than some of the singles ranked ahead of it on this list of the top 50 Blake Shelton songs, actually — the love story from 2014 just isn't memorable in any way. Think about it: At best you said, "I remember that song" but more likely thought, "which one is that?"

No. 48: "The Wave"

" is a unique metaphor for how a good love can wash away all of your troubles. Blake Shelton's song from Texoma Shore is another fan favorite. The mid-tempo track displays his voice nicely.

No. 47: "When the Wine Wears Off"

," an album track from Texoma Shore that could have been a single. The song's structure and flow is very similar to so many hits from this era of Blake Shelton.

No. 46: "Anyone Else"

When asked which deep cut they like most, Blake Shelton fans chose "

," an album cut from Bringing Back the Sunshine. This ballad shows a bitterness that's rare across the singer's discography, and certainly this list of 50 songs. It's packaged in a fairly unoffensive arrangement, but his lyrics really sting.

No. 45: "Over"

Blake Shelton gives a great vocal performance of a fairly ordinary song during "

," his fourth straight No. 1 single from the Red River Blue album.

No. 44: "I'll Just Hold On"

Shelton relied on a sitar to make this song stand out. It only worked to get him a Top 10 hit. The remainder of "

" is arranged more conventionally, making the outsider instrument something of a gimmick.

No. 43: "All Over Me"

" will always hold a special place for Shelton, as he co-wrote it with an idol, Earl Thomas Conley. The piano-led ballad finds the singer doing something truly unique: Showcasing a timid falsetto during the chorus of this poignant, pure country single. Lyrically it's difficult to keep up with, but sonically it's bold, like so many of his early hits.

No. 42: "Every Time I Hear That Song"

In retrospect, very few songs from Shelton's post-divorce album stack up against his earliest and most recent singles and deep cuts. "

" relies on a vocal hook, but the performance lacks urgency. Still, it hit No. 1 easily.

No. 41: "Sure Be Cool If You Did"

Shelton's Based on a True Story ... album started with "

," but every single that followed is far better and more engaging. This love ballad doesn't hurt for warmth, but the arrangement is milquetoast at best.

Rick Diamond, Getty Images

No. 40: "Drink on It"

Real life couple Jessi Alexander and Jon Randall joined Rodney Clawson for this track from Shelton's Red River Blue album. While still a No. 1 hit, "

" gets a little lost among other more dynamic performances and arrangements on this list of his 50 best songs.

No. 39: "I'll Name the Dogs"

" cast Blake Shelton as a husband in waiting, something his fans and the world in general were hoping for in his real life. The No. 1 hit from 2017 went Platinum on the strength of a pop-rock chorus and a charming lyrical hook.

No. 38: "Happy Anywhere"

" — the second of two straight single collaborations with Gwen Stefani — hit No. 1 and is a total earworm. It's hard to criticize the feel-good jam, but we'll say "Nobody But You" is a superior duet for the country couple.

No. 37: "Neon Light"

In a vacuum, "Neon Light" — a No. 1 hit, released in 2014 — is a funky, country and hip fusion that works. Across Blake Shelton's full catalog of hits and album cuts, however, it tries to do too many things that this singer does better elsewhere. For that reason, this track rates a bit low on this list of Shelton's best songs.

No. 36: "Granddaddy's Gun"

Aaron Lewis' version of this same song was more convincing, but Blake Shelton's "

" wasn't trying to act tough. The more sensitive singer's rendition was more sensitive and polished. The two men were targeting different country audiences.

No. 35: "A Guy With a Girl"

Blake Shelton celebrates his woman during "

" a No. 1 hit from If I'm Honest. The song is a sweet gesture, made atop a radio-ready arrangement.

No. 34: "Nobody But You"

The first of two straight, Gwen Stefani duets to country radio finds the couple trading lines as they tell a love story that can only be described as genuine. The No. 1 hit reached a very pleasing one million downloads quickly. "

" should not be confused with another song on this list. It's a progressive, pop-friendly ballad that truly simmers.

No. 33: "When Somebody Knows You That Well"

Of all of Blake Shelton's official singles, "

" faired the worst. It barely cracked the Top 40, possibly due to an outdated, string heavy arrangement. But it's not a bad little song. Harley Allen co-wrote this ballad and Shelton does OK in finding the right perspective. 'A' for effort, big fella.

No. 32: "Doin' What She Likes"

This charming No. 1 hit is best remembered for a music video in which a bumbling Blake Shelton burns the house down trying to cook a romantic dinner for Miranda Lambert, who makes a vocal cameo early. Sans video, "

" is a warm love song that's fit for a squeeze.

No. 31: "Just South of Heaven"

Another fan favorite from deep in Shelton's catalog, "

" finds the singer relying on a familiar mood over a welcome acoustic guitar and fiddle combination.

No. 30: "Came Here to Forget"

If you expected Blake Shelton's post-divorce album to include some heartache, you were right. "

is a dark country lyric atop an R&B-infused guitar line. His twang keeps it country, but the song is among his most progressive No. 1 hits. Often when he stretches the genre, it's done with a wink — not this time.

No. 29: "Sangria"

Few songs on this list of Blake Shelton's best smolder like "

." The love song rides a warm melody that covers for a barely-there hook. This 2015 hit was one in a string of No. 1 hits for Shelton, most of which went Gold or Platinum.

No. 28: "Jesus Got a Tight Grip"

When Blake Shelton does sit down to write, what comes out is often spiritual. Deep love songs and reflections on a higher power make up his short songwriting catalog. Jessi Alexander helped him with "

," a plucky country-rocker from 2019.

No. 27 Draggin' the River

" tells a dark story of two lovers escaping together, and in that way, it's very Miranda. Shelton's polished vocals and a sweetened production make this track from the All About Tonight EP very Blake, however. While not a single, it was a fan favorite back when they were a couple. We still dig it.

No. 26: "Minimum Wage"

Blake Shelton's blue-collar love song is no "Friends in Low Places" but the spirit of this song still hits today. There's not a lot of love-conquers-all messaging across his catalog, at least not as much as that of storytellers like

" is a mainstream effort that did its job of introducing a new album, but it's hard to put it high on this list of Shelton's 50 best at this point.

No. 25: "Footloose"

Blake Shelton didn't deviate much from Kenny Loggins' original version. The country "

" wasn't a radio hit, but it went Gold and introduced the country singer to an all-genre audience that was just beginning to learn of him via The Voice.

No. 24: "Some Beach"

One could make a case for "

" as Shelton's most important song, as it saved a career that was spiraling after a trio of Top 40 country airplay hits. This is the first time fans got to witness his sense of humor and sarcasm — remember, there was no Twitter in 2004. A pre

Rory Feek co-wrote "Some Beach," showing how wide the singer reached for great songs early in his career.

No. 23: "Bible Verses"

" is the faith song on Blake Shelton's 2021 album Body Language, and it's truly a highlight on the project. The singer approaches the topic with genuine humility that feels as honest as any love or drinking song he has recorded. A great play on a phrase pushes the song higher up on this Top 50 list.

No. 22: "Hillbilly Bone" with Trace Adkins

Blake Shelton proved he's a dynamic duet partner with this partnership with Trace

" is among his most well-known songs, even if it's not a Top 10 song on our list. Amid a catalog of songs with sexy, delicate women, this rocker with tough guy Adkins stands up and demands you pay attention. Even the haters have to smile!

No. 21: "Nobody But Me"

Did you even know that Shelton has a hit song called "Nobody But You" and "

"? The former is his most recent hit with Gwen Stefani, but the 2005 love ballad is the one that deserves a celebration. A jazzy piano carries the country singer atop this pleading love song. It's both memorable and effective.

No. 20: "Savior's Shadow"

Jessi Alexander returns to this list of the best Blake Shelton songs to offer a gentle message about faith and peace. "

" is Shelton's only Hot Christian Songs hit, reaching No. 14 in 2016. He's rarely, if ever, performs the song live.

No. 19: "The More I Drink"

," a Top 10 hit for Blake Shelton in 2007. The singer's early rompers are unmistakably genuine. In his later years, a certain polish would change the raw messaging, but that doesn't exist in this Brent Rowan production.

No. 18: "Playboys of the Southwestern World"

This is a song about best friends. "

" is a critic's pick for this list because we can recall him playing it live. The song is largely shelved now, but it still cooks. As a storyteller, few artists do better than Shelton, as some of the highest ranked songs on this list will prove. Playboys (No. 24 in 2003) is a different kind of story.

No. 17: "Lonely Tonight"

Give Shelton credit: At a time when few solo females could break in country music, he was doing what he could to celebrate talent.

is just one example of the hitmaker looking past stars who would have furthered his career to support Nashville's best. This dark ballad about a one night stand is a provocative conversation that just burned in 2014, a time where Blake Shelton was king. During "

No. 16: "Turnin' Me On"

Blake Shelton hasn't written very many of the songs found on this list of his 50 best. "

" is a rare case where he set out to write a song that became a hit, albeit a minor one. The simmering love song only reached the Top 10 after its 2018 release, but charts aren't everything. Years later it really stands apart from the rest of the songs he released to radio. You can feel his passion as he sings a song that he clearly had girlfriend Gwen Stefani in mind for.

No. 15: "I Lived It"

This Top 5 hit for Blake Shelton seemed to come and go, but we wish it would have stuck around as a catalog cut for the singer. "

" is among his best late model songs as it treads into new, nostalgic territory for a singer who is so often singing of love and love lost.

No. 14: "The Baby"

Blake Shelton cemented himself as one of country music's most promising young storytellers with three of his first four singles, including "

." The heartbreaking mother-son story is a gut punch for older country music fans. Melodically, the chorus gives it wings. This song from The Dreamer would become his second No. 1 hit.

No. 13: "All About Tonight"

" for Blake Shelton, and it's a song that will forever hold a place in his live show. It's kind of the theme song for any country concert, isn't it? In truth, Shelton hasn't released too many all-out jams like this one in the last decade, so it stands out a decade later.

No. 12: "Boys 'Round Here" With Pistol Annies and RaeLynn

Every once in awhile Blake Shelton drops a song that reminds you he doesn't take himself too seriously. It's critical to his artistry and an integral part of his longevity. "

" was his early 2010s version of that song. It's a sort of hip-hop-inspired redneck stomp with callback lyrics and his then-wife's supergroup supporting him. The song is just so much fun to bop along with, even a decade later.

No. 11: "God Gave Me You"

Blake Shelton took Dave Barnes' "

God Gave Me You

" and turned it into a Grammy-nominated, chart-topping country song. But that's just part of the story. The emotive love ballad is also what gave the singer the kick in the pants he needed to propose marriage to then-girlfriend Miranda Lambert. This is a tremendous vocal performance and certainly worthy of a high placement on the singer's best songs list.

No. 10: "My Eyes"

Blake Shelton and

Gwen Sebastian

kept a brother-sister kind of relationship after her time on The Voice. She even joined his band. That changed with "

," a true bed burner that beckons, "Come a little closer, come a little closer / Come a little closer, love the way you look tonight / My eyes are the only thing I don't wanna take off of you."

"My Eyes" was the last of a trio of great male/female collaborations that truly put new female artists on a pedestal. RaeLynn and Pistol Annies joined him for "Boys 'Round Here," Ashley Monroe jumped in for "Lonely Tonight" and Sebastian for "My Eyes." This was a time when women struggled mightily at country radio, but the singer did what he could to help introduce new talent.

Warner Music Nashville

No. 9: "Home"

You see a real change in Blake Shelton's commercial success beginning with his cover of "

" in 2008. One could argue this is his most important radio release, and his vocals stand up to anything else he's put out. Prior to his version of the Michel Bublé song, Top 20 was where he lived. After that, he rattled off a string of No. 1 hits as long as anyone ever: Nineteen of Shelton's next 20 singles hit No. 1.

Warner Music Nashville

No. 8: "Goodbye Time"

There is more than one famous cover among Blake Shelton's 50 best songs. "

" was a

Conway Twitty

hit in 1988, and the younger singer did it justice with a piano-led arrangement that showcased him as a premier vocalist. This song also exemplifies why he was hit-and-miss at radio in the mid 2000s. It followed the chart-topping "Some Beach," which followed a Top 40 song called "When Somebody Knows You That Well." It's good to go back and forth between good times and heartache, but with Shelton, the pendulum swung too far every time. It was hard to figure out who he was for most of a decade.

No. 7: "Ol' Red"

" is not Blake Shelton's best song, but it's his signature song. He can't play a live show without telling this story of a prisoner, a dog and a warden who gets fooled. Early in his career, Shelton wasn't shy about covering other artists, including Conway Twitty and (in this case) George Jones. His tie to the past has loosened in recent years, which is a bummer because songs like this are far more interesting than anything on the radio today.

Warner Music Nashville

No. 6: "Honey Bee"

There's not an easier song in Blake Shelton's catalog to enjoy than "

," his slightly saccharine, but still grinning love song from 2011. The track went triple-Platinum and is perhaps his most recognizable song worldwide today.

No. 5: "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking"

Joe Nichols

cut this song several years before Shelton would make it his best love song. Both versions are exemplary. It starts with the songwriting. Lyrically, "

" is more sensitive and poetic than anything else on this list. Each line is phrased as a question, and each question is one any woman can relate to. The magic is in this hitmaker's personal delivery. His range isn't needed for a subtle romancer that the greats would be proud of. Few country women will resist a warm smile when this No. 1 hit begins.

Warner Music Nashville

No. 4: "God's Country"

God's Country

" rejuvenated Blake Shelton's career. The country-rock song paints a vivid picture but it works so well because everyone who touched the song went for it 100 percent. The chart-topping hit is arguably his best of the last half-decade and an easy pick for Top 10 on this list of his greatest songs.

No. 3: "She Wouldn't Be Gone"

There's no song in Blake Shelton's catalog that paints a breathtaking picture with the same ease of "

She Wouldn't Be Gone

," his No. 1 song from 2008. He begins with, "Red roadside wild flower if I'd only picked you / Took you home set you on the counter" before his second metered stanza that goes, "Yellow sunset slowly dipping down in the rear view / Oh, how she'd love to sit and watch you / I could have done that a whole lot more."

The chorus of this song is where the tension lies, however. Shelton has told great stories before and delivered strong vocal performances plenty of times, but few songs find him so recklessly emotional as this ballad. It's almost unnerving to listen to.

No. 2: "Mine Would Be You"

" is a Top 5 Blake Shelton song because of the twist at the end that just crushes your heart. It's a love song, until suddenly it isn't. Jessi Alexander and company wrote it, but it's the singer's energy that makes the song special. As with "She Wouldn't Be Gone," there's a sense of panic so rare on the radio today. Shelton seems like such a cool character most of the time, but moments like this remind us of his gifts.

No. 1: "Austin"

Fans have, and will continue to, make a case for "

" as Blake Shelton's best song. It's certainly an all-time great debut single — one that would work in any era of country music. Early in his career, the Oklahoma native relied on veteran songwriters and producers like Bobby Braddock to shape his sound. These days everything comes with a little more polish, which is fine and probably even necessary.

You can't compare 20-year-old tracks like "Austin" with modern songs like "I'll Name the Dogs." Lyrically, his newest material lacks depth when held up against the rich tapestry of these early hits. So many songs from Shelton's first two albums make the Top 10 or even Top 20 of this list for this reason. "Austin" at No. 1? It's tempting to select another for the sake of being bold, but doing so would just be dishonest.

[swga]

freefall | oneshot

pairing: yoongi x reader

word count: 1.8k

themes and genres: angst, a smidge of fluff, idol!yoongi, slice of life

synopsis: in which you are only human

Loving Yoongi is easier said than done.

 It's waking up with a hollowness to your chest on the right side of a half-made bed, the softness of this lips on your temple long gone. It's the cold bite of the counter on your back while you wait for your coffee, ears deaf from the loud silence that envelops you. It's the sparce texts that come and go, the bare minimum of affection that fails to uplift your spirit as the day wears on. It's the way you hope for some semblance of normalcy, even if you know you'll never have it in this lifetime. At least, not with him.

 Yoongi is married to his job. You know that. You accept it, celebrate it. You fell in love with him because of it. You love how his eyes light up when inspiration strikes, how he gets lost in the music he can only hear in his mind, how he's most himself when he's seated in front of his soundboard and mixing console. He lives in a world of his own, one he shares with you when he can, and it works.

 It works until you realize that he's committed to finishing a song more than he is to coming home on time for dinner. It works until you realize that you haven't seen him in a week because his creativity is on overdrive, and he can't step on the breaks, lest he crashes and burns.

 It works until you realize that loving Yoongi is like walking on a tightrope so high that you can't see the ground.

 A tightrope—that's exactly what this is. Every day that passes is another foot forward, and it takes all of your energy to keep the pole in your hands balanced. The rope sways with every step, and your stomach drops at the mere thought of falling, but you continue on even if you're scared for your life.

 The crowd below is ruthless; their pointed stares anticipate your demise. You try to drown them out because the walk itself is perilous. You don't need the extra weight on your shoulders. You just need to get to the other side.

 Today is another step taken, and you're tired. It's been a week since you last saw him, and you crave his presence in every way possible. And so, you slip on his white FG shirt and let it drape over your shoulder until your bare thighs. You prepare enough dinner for two—everything he likes—and let yourself get lost in the motion of chewing and swallowing.

 It takes every ounce of energy to keep yourself distracted. You don't want to get lost in the ugly feeling brewing in your chest. It's an unwanted weight that will throw you off balance, and you're teetering as it is.You feel the wetness pool in the corners of your eyes, and you will yourself to hold on tighter.

 But you're tired. So utterly, painfully tired.

 One cry bubbles up your throat. And then another. And then another, until you find that you can't stop.

 "I'm so tired," you sniff. The chopsticks fall to the floor as you attempt to wipe the tears rolling down your cheeks.

 It's overwhelming. He's everywhere and nowhere all at once, and it's painful that he isn't here at all. You miss him, but you don't want to demand his time because the rest of the world already expects so much of him. You want him to come to you on his own, but your arms are tired of waiting. You support him with every fiber of your being, but your strength has withered away.

 It hits you all at once.

 You're exhausted, and you want to succumb to the freefall.

  Yoongi takes pride in many things.

 First and foremost, he takes pride that he has grit. The path he had chosen long ago was, and still is, a long and uphill one. Things were never handed on a silver platter. He had to endure endless hours of training while maintaning his studies and working part time to earn what little amount he could. Even when he finally debuted with BTS, things didn't get any easier. If anything, it made his life harder. He had to deal with sasaengs and scandals as he was thrust into a world where he had nowhere to hide. When things became too much, he had his members to fall on, but he knew that if he didn't have any semblance of grit, he wouldn't be where he is today.

 He also takes pride in their fans. They, who understand and resonate with his work. They, who support his love for music in ways he never thought was possible. They, who taught him how to love himself when he didn't know how to. He would thank every single one of their fans if he could. That's how much they meant to him.

 Most of all, he takes pride in being your partner. You, who doesn't need him to feel whole because you love yourself plenty enough. You, who pushes him to be better when he wants to give up halfway. You, who supports his career endlessly simply because you love all of him, even if it meant sacrificing time together.

 He doesn't like that last thought too much, because even if you supported him tiredlessly, he missed spending time with you in the paradise you had created together at home.

 It has been a tiring week for Yoongi. He worked track after track after track, barely taking care of himself in the process. Every meal he had came in small bites too far in between, and any ounce of sleep he got withered away the moment he woke up. He supposed that even if he did eat well and slept properly, he would still be tired because he terribly misses you. And so, he put all of his effort into finishing this last song so he could come back to you as quick as he could.

 The moment Yoongi opens the door to your apartment, his senses are bombarded. The delicious aroma of bulgogi wafts up his nose. It makes his stomach growl, and only then does he realize that it had been too long since his last proper meal. The sight of your shoes by the door brings a smile to his face because you're home, and he could finally hold you in his arms under warm sheets.

 Soft sniffs and strangled cries pull him from his reverie and into the kitchen. There, he finds your head in your hands, shoulders shaking from the sobs that wreck your curled frame.

 He doesn't need to ask why you're crying. His shirt on your body and the food long forgotten lets him know it all.

 The thought is a knife to his heart. How could he let it come this far? How did he manage to break the one thing he promised not to? Yoongi feels his heart break, twist, and crumble like never before; he almost wants to rip it out of his chest and give it to you instead, to make up for the hurt he hates he caused the best thing he has. Instead, he wraps his arms around you in a feeble attempt to calm you down.

 Like second nature, your body twists to face the man you love unconditionally, your head buried in the warmth of his chest. "Y-Yoongi," your muffled voice breaks his heart all over again, and he berates himself even more. "I'm so t-tired, I-I ca-can't–"

 He cuts you off before you could make him hate himself even more. "(Y/N), I'm so sorry. I-I fucked up, shit." Words escape Yoongi, because how could he earn your forgiveness? He doesn't deserve it. He knows he doesn't deserve the love you give him if this is what he gave you in return. You deserve someone who could give you their time, who would be there when you wake up and fall asleep. You deserve someone who could eat dinner with you every night, who could share mundane moments with you.

 No, Yoongi definitely doesn't deserve you, but he needs you to stay.

 "F-fuck, (Y/N), please don't leave," he whispers into your hair as tears well in the corner of his eyes. "I swear I'll do better, I'll do so much better, baby. Just, please don't leave." He is ready to grovel on his knees, but you cling tightly to his shirt as you shake your head.

 "I-I won't, Yoongi, I'm just so, so tired."

 Your weak voice makes him fall on his knees. He immediately wraps his arms around your waist and buries his head in your navel, his eyes searching for yours through his tears. He had never heard you so broken like this, never seen you so worn out like this, and it suffocates him to accept that he has done this to you. You, the stronger half of him. You, the better half of him. He would give up the world to hush your cries, even if it isn't for him to give. But now, under the gaze of your empty, dull eyes, he isn't sure anymore. How could he give you the world when he couldn't even give you himself? Yoongi's jaw clench. He can't let you go like this. He won't let you go like this, even if it kills him.

 Your hands comb through his hair like moth to a flame. It was black now, you realize. It looks good on him, just like every color he had worn before. It's also a reminder of how you live in different worlds, orbits never meeting despite existing in the same galaxy.

 "I don't want to be overbearing, because I support what you do, but I barely see you anymore, Yoongi. And I try to be understanding, but I'm just so tired." A fresh wave of tears gather in your eyes, so you bite your lip and try to keep them at bay. It's pointess though, because sobs continue to escape through gritted teeth and tight lips.

 He lets you grieve until you couldn't, because he knows this is what you need. He grieves on his own too, but he does so in hushed whispers and vice-like grips.

 When his tears run out and his heart is squeezed dry, he gingerly carries you to bed. "It's been a long night, baby. Let's talk about this tomorrow." His promise lingers in the air like his lips on your hair.

 "I don't want to wake up alone, Yoongi."

 His heart aches once more. He couldn't imagine how hard it must be to love someone like him, someone who brings mornings filled with half-made beds and lonely spaces. He hates it. He hates it in his skin, in his bones, and in his veins, because you deserve more than what he gives. But he knows even the darkest days will come to pass, so he anoints you with his kiss and promises the world to you even if it isn't for him to give. "I'll be here when you wake up."

[eucanyon]

         ·ﾟ☀  i am so hype to be here nobody gets it and even MORE hype to be bringing my baby boy canyon ....... i already can feel that everyone is absolute chef’s kiss and i cant WAIT to plot w u all ! my name is 𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐲 , utilizing she / her pronouns and knowing nothing about percy jackson but trying my absolute best . i do prefer dis.cord for plotting so if you’d like to swap users that’d be grand , without further delay ( i googled if it was ado or adieu but apparently it’s all wrong throw the whole phrase away ) below the cut you can read a bit about canyon ! 

             ⟨ MASON GOODING. CIS MAN. HE / HIM. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, 𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐎𝐍 𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐒 is actually a descendent of ZEUS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY - TWO year old PRE-LAW from CHICAGO, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 & 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐄 .

 — 𝐁𝐈𝐎 .

              ‘ you gotta work twice as hard to be half as good .                           you gotta be twice as good to get half the recognition . ’

it’s the earliest phrase he remembers hearing . his grandparents , a duo running the local church services just a block away from their chicago inner city apartment , fill the shoes left by a mother who left her wedlock-born son in the hands of people more capable than she and a father nobody had ever met . his clothes come from the church donation bin and his toys are hand-me-downs from neighborhood kids outgrowing their phases . he pays for football like most of the boys on his team , camped out in front of grocery stores and shopping malls with a bell and a collection bucket with a nervous spiel of “ please help us earn new pads for our football team ” spewing from each child the moment they make eye contact with anyone sympathetic enough to turn their way .

canyon’s held to a higher standard than the neighborhood kids . he comes home before it even starts to turn dark , he has a closet full of perfectly ironed shirts that he tucks neatly into his waistline every sunday morning , he calls anyone that even looks a few years older than him sir or ma’am . he spends afternoons in a rigid schedule : help grandma cook and clean , football practice , homework , and a half hour of television before bed . he gets a choice , if he wants to invite the neighbor’s kids over for that sliver of free time , or keep it to himself . it was a source of embarrassment for him at first , to have a bedtime matching that of his elderly caretakers , but after a certain point , it becomes a source of pride for canyon — he’s lauded by teachers and coaches alike as the best behaved and most respectful ( albeit , also the quietest ) boy of any group he inhabits .  

he struggles in school at first , and not simply in the social element . his teachers express concern by his absolute silence , but given that he answers questions and doesn’t cause any issues for them , concerns are brushed off . his handwriting leaves much to be desired and his literacy skills are behind his grade expectations , but he excels when offered oral options for responses and follows logic like a champ . though his grandparents can’t quiet afford a formal tutor , but his teachers offer a bit of informal help in the often time that his grandparents run late to pick him up . they note to his grandmother that canyon is a workhorse , putting in much more work than what is asked for and seeing a steady improvement in his grades due to this . she’ll smile , and canyon will repeat their mantra in his head on the way home .

his mom appears every few months over major holidays , bag of trinkets in tow . canyon quickly learns that ignoring the toys means she’ll talk more to him than about him to his grandparents as if he’s not there , curling up in her lap like a cat vying for her attention . he shoves straight - a report cards and mvp trophies into her hands as long as he can remember , one thanksgiving she comments on his hair getting too long and by christmas he’s gotten it shaved clean . every comment she makes he squeezes for some semblance of recognition , a baby bird screaming out to a blinded parent :    ‘ see me , i’m here . see me , if only this once . ’

his father is a forbidden topic in the house and his mother skirts around conversations of him , which bothers canyon , but his community is that of a village - raising mindset . older brothers become mentor figures , uncles become surrogate fathers , grandfathers pass down tokens of wisdom . it seems no household is truly ever without the nurture of a parent figure , and canyon grows up acutely aware of how lucky he has it in his little apartment complex telling the story to himself every night : a mother who loved him enough to give him the life he deserved , a father clearly not worthy of being in the picture . canyon , a boy with the bare minimum , sees it as more than enough .

a pudgy , quiet child following a robotic schedule doesn’t quite inspire the vision of a progeny to the king of the gods . canyon’s only friends are the ones he’s grown up with and the cousins subbing in as the siblings he was never given , his grandmother being perhaps the first person he tells anything to . but he can’t bring himself to open up when his mother begrudgingly confides a secret in him , taking him out for ice cream as an early birthday gift . he has half a mind to let his grandma know she showed up to her visit under the influence , high off whatever would make her deranged enough to tell canyon his father is a shapeshifting greek god who will be reaching out to him to hone his powers in a few days — but he quickly realizes that snitching would mean even less time spent with a mother who already only sees him in minimal increments . as with everything in life , he keeps it to himself , a move that would pay off when he’s approached by perhaps the most terrifyingly imposing man he’s seen in his life at a church service the day before his birthday .

his father is , despite all the obvious flaws , perhaps everything canyon has dreamed of becoming . they talk briefly during the service and make official introductions before he escapes into the day , promising to return and explain more in time . and he does . canyon’s sure to keep to himself who he’s quietly chatting with in the back pews every sunday , but he and his father talk at length in the relative secrecy of hushed voices in a boisterous sermon . the man doesn’t explain much about how he met canyon’s mother , nor what he does in general , but fills in all the gaps left by his mother’s erratic attempt at a conversation . the man buys canyon a new set of cleats for his birthday and notes to him that he can continue to fill in the gaps if he considers spending his summers away . he’ll make it happen , canyon simply has to agree .

and he does . his grandparents are less than thrilled to think that he’ll be away from them for three months and the fact that he’s making a lot of these details up as he goes nearly gets him caught , but his father helps him conceive a ruse so convincing , they’ll be able to leave his grandparents out of the whole demigod conversation .

and it seems almost as soon as he had found something resembling the parents he so longed for , they leave him perhaps more alone than before . his mother is jailed for a sequence of bad decisions and zeus makes himself a figure less and less , eventually becoming clear to canyon that he too will skirt along with the bare minimum , claiming him at 13 and tapering off the effort he exerts as canyon begins to make a name for himself throughout the american demigod scene . his camp friends ask if he’s planning to attend eonia and canyon makes it clear that he refuses , a full ride scholarship to howard university the only thing in his sights for the future . he wants to detach himself from the culture being force down his throat by these demigod hypocrites , he wants to be adamant in his pride over being a black american fighting for change .

a change of heart comes perhaps on a whim . his father makes an offhand comment about “ what a shame ” it is that canyon doesn’t see himself as cut out for demigod school . the boy , now every bit a young man after his growth spurts leave him at an imposing 6’3 and football shapes his body into a vessel of solid muscle , commands the energy of every group he’s thrust into , a pillar of his community and recognized as the one who will bring their neighborhood into greatness . driven , intelligent , and powerful , canyon grows into his role as the champion , and it becomes apparent that his father wants to push the vision of his own contribution forward where it counts , and canyon — the one born into nothing , wants to grow into something .

eonia welcomes him with open arms and before he even opens his mouth , it’s apparent that he carries himself like the son of a king : though he is quick to distance himself from his father who he had once so - idolized . in his head , he sets out to become something notable without the need to precede himself with his father’s name ; canyon is a force of nature all by his own creation , and he refuses to credit his own well - earned accomplishments to a father who was hardly that . he plans to use eonia to close the demigod chapter in his life , hoping he can hone his powers enough to then never use them , hoping to remain solely involved in the mortal world with no mind given to the demigods’ drama . he plans to attend law school directly upon graduating and become the next spearhead of a political movement with the goal of true justice for all disenfranchised people in mind .

 — 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 .

 canyon ellis has made a name for himself despite his relative silence , a reputation preceding him even without the influence of his godly father’s name behind him . if anything , canyon represents what the ancient greeks perhaps idolized zeus to be — minus the hedonism that brought upon so much of the chaos plaguing his tales . a boy brought into the bare minimum becomes a man making due with the bare minimum , and canyon is known for a rhetoric that can prove a point out of anything . he’s an introvert in extrovert’s shoes , often spotted around teammates or other members of his clubs though he’s oft the last to say a word , choosing instead to observe in silence with those intense stares he’s become so well - known for . intimidating is perhaps an understatement when you pair his stature with his energy , the strength in his reservation and the discipline in his blood , standing tall and unwavering in his beliefs . he speaks with intention and though he’s most known for his serious side , he carries himself with a humble confidence that allows him to speak his truth with ease and stand up for what he believes in most , unafraid to call out those on the other end of his remarks . though he’s stern and admittedly reserved , he’s not shy , and pushes himself to reach beyond his areas of comfort in order to truly live up to the expectations he places on himself : expectations that are perhaps too high for him to realistically achieve in this lifetime .

though intense , canyon has a soft spot for those closest to him and though he won’t be the one stirring up the entertainment , he’s often biting back a smile at the antics of his loved ones , one of his catch phrases being “ i get the joke , i’m just not laughing because it’s not funny , ” followed by a pat on the head . he’s stern but not entirely humorless , kind but no - nonsense , and tends to hold himself to a certain standard of seriousness in most circumstances . he’ll let loose on the occasional night out , but there’s a sense of tension to him that seems clearly prepared to leap back into his leader shoes and fix whatever disaster may present itself . a projection of strength , poise , and dignity , canyon’s aptitude for leadership is equally his greatest strength and his biggest weakness , imbuing him with a moral compass and a sense of empathy that sometimes makes the world too black and white for him , refusing to see any circumstances that may complicate or excuse something .

his views on loyalty are severe and have left him with a handful of people he’s all but erased from his life , burning bridges without second thought though many in his circle advise him to reconsider . there’s right , and there’s wrong in his world , with nothing in between despite the fact that sometimes , there isn’t as clear cut of an answer as he claims there to be .

pair this with the trauma of his abandonments during the upbringing he faced and it comes together to result in a boy walking in a man’s shoes , fingernails digging into palms with the fever of all the words he bites back , fueled by a crusade for justice to give him some sense of worth — perhaps the only thing holding him together at this point .

— 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂 .

AESTHETIC : uphill runs fueled by answer by tyler the creator blaring through your headphones , the perfectionism of a virgo and tenacity of a taurus , falling asleep to the swan by camille saint saens , vision obscured by hot tears , the flex of your jaw as you bite back a comment , the unsettling rumble in the air just before the strike of thunder , kendrick lamar blasting from your classic mustang , picking up the pieces of a shattered porcelain bust , the primal sense of connection in a team huddle , thunderous pounding of your pulse in your ears , being voted “ most likely to become president , ” a wide stance with arms crossed over your chest , power drawn from unity , never division .

my inspos for him were chiron / black from moonlight , erik killmonger from black panther , and batman lmao . i guess maybe some steve rogers ? 

he’s the captain of the rugby team !

grew up playing football but the moment he casually played a rugby match at camp and interlocked into a scrum was the moment he was forever converted and has loved the sport ever since . he plays as a lock .

as a pre - law student , he’s in mock trial , as well as in the social justice collective . he is vice president of the black student collective and is an active and passionate member who is outspoken about black identity on campus

[whatwouldyourbiasdo]

Finding Cinderella | Series | Prologue

Title: Finding Cinderella

Pairings: Donghae x reader,(Primary) Heechul x reader (Secondary), Kyuhyun x reader (Secondary)

Author’s Note: I have been planning this story for a while but have been battling many writers’ blocks in doing so. This story will mainly focus on Donghae and the reader but will have branching stories between Heechul, Kyuhyun and two secondary OC characters.

Sidenote: Yes, this series will include Kangin and Sungmin. This was originally started back when the two of them were still active members and in my heart they will always be members so I will include them wherever I see fit.

Taglist: Make sure to send us a message if you want to be tagged in future updates on this story

“I can’t believe we won again,” Leeteuk beamed as he and his members made their way to their dressing room, just having finishing yet another music show where their latest single was voted number one of the week.

“I can,” Heechul replied with a pleased smirk curling his lips. “Our fans are amazing, they can make anything happen!”

“But three weeks in a row?” The eldest by just a couple of days let out a soft sigh, “I’m almost feeling sorry for our hoobaes who are working just as hard.”

“Almost being the key word, right?” Kangin joked as he nudged their leader.

It wasn’t like they considered themselves better than others just because of seniority, they were still genuinely surprised and humbled that their fans were still supporting them after all this time and that after so many years they were still able to get to the top. It didn’t mean that they put in less effort than the younger and newer groups that were promoting at the same time.

“It’s thanks to us and our fans that SM was persuaded to throw that party next week.” the second eldest bragged as he casually draped himself on the couch as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

“Hyung, you are definitely too much,” Ryeowook laughed as turned to the mirror to check his hair, even after the recording and the performing was done he still wanted to look his best. He was a public figure after all.

“What? Am I wrong?”

“It’s not just because of us,” Sungmin nodded in agreement to the second youngest member. “SNSD did really well with their comeback last month, and people are already excited for EXO’s new song and they haven’t even released a teaser yet!”

“Ey, you guys are no fun!” He clicked his tongue in complaint as he circled the phone around his face to find the right angle for a selfie. It had been a whole three hours without updating his SNS and that just simply wouldn’t do. “Ah, too good looking...”

“Humble as ever.” Yesung chuckled at the slightly older male’s antics as he finished packing his own things. “Let’s grab dinner on our way back.”

“Yes! Food! Man, I’m starving!” Eunhyuk whined as he dramatically rubbed his stomach. “I haven’t eaten since breakfast!”

“What about the snacks from the food truck our fans prepared?” Shindong nudged his fellow dancing machine. “You ate more than all of us together, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t!” He denied quickly. “Kyu ate more than me, there was barely any left for the staff after he went through it!”

The youngest in the room glanced up from his phone upon hearing his name and feigned innocence as he was just partially paying attention to what his members were discussing. “Whatever it is you’re accusing me of, it probably was Donghae hyung!”

“What? Why me?” He piped up from the corner of the couch as he stared at the youngest member.

“Because it’s always you,” Eunhyuk decided to join in as he poked his best friend’s head.

“It’s not always me!” He pouted, he wasn’t even sure what exactly they were accusing him off but he definitely denied any accusations that believed he was always to blame. If anything he was one of the most innocent members, sometimes a bit naive perhaps but definitely innocent.

“Just accept it. If things happen, you’re always in the neighborhood,” Eunhyuk continued to tease him as Kyuhyun nodded in agreement.

“That’s why I’m always stuck taking care of you,” Heechul decided to join in the teasing, he had probably known the young idol the longest out of all of them considering their trainee history. After all, he was one of the people who begged him to stay with the company when he was ready to give up on making his debut as an idol.

“Hey, I am totally innocent! I even have an alibi, just ask Siwon!” Donghae protested as he pointed at the taller member on the other side, who was listening in to his members chatting in silent amusement. “Yah, tell them what I was doing.”

“Me?” Siwon looked genuinely surprised as he pointed at himself, he should have known he was going to get dragged into the conversation one way or another. “Ah… Well, you were back here for a long time so I suppose you couldn’t have been eating all of the food…”

“See?!” Donghae’s voice only grew louder as he felt supported in his plea for innocence.

“Why were you back here for so long if not to hide yourself and eat all the food?” Kyuhyun questioned with an accusing tone of voice.

Donghae didn’t hesitate to answer his question, “Pooping.”

A flood of laughter and complaints erupted from the group, whether it was the sheer seriousness and even a hint of pride in which he had proclaimed his actions, or the fact that he brought up the subject carelessly though his members didn’t exactly wanted to know that much detail.

“What? What?!” He kept complaining as he tried to raise his voice above all the others. “It’s a normal thing to do, you know!”

“You don’t need to proclaim it so loud and proud, ya know!” Heechul replied with the same complaining tone of voice. “I don’t need to think of you pooping, thank you very much!”

“Well blame Kyuhyun and Hyukjae, they asked for it!”

It took Kangin two seconds to raise his hand and whack Eunhyuk’s head as punishment for a question he hadn’t even asked personally. As the younger male looked up at the broader man and rubbed the back of his head, Kangin hissed at him in a semi-serious manner. “Don’t encourage that!”

“Yah, yah, yah, Kyuhyun started it!” He muttered as he casually shuffled away from the older member, his lips curling into a pout as Donghae looked at him with a pleased smirk on his face.

“Guess who’ll be cleaning up the dishes tonight,” Shindong had promptly placed his hand on the youngest member’s shoulder, who thought he had escaped the situation unscathed. But as he was busy laughing at the outcome of his set up, the older male had made his way over and was just ever so threateningly squeezing his shoulder in his hand. “Any other jokes, maknae?”

“Okay, c’mon guys!” For as much as Leeteuk enjoyed his members’ antics, he felt it was his responsibility to settle them down when things got too crazy. With a minimum of eleven members together most of the time, energy was as contagious as a common virus which was surprising considering the heavy packed schedules they’ve had ever since they started preparing for this comeback. “Let’s go eat before we lose our appetite thanks to Donghae!”

“Yah! They started it!” Donghae continued to complain as the group slowly got up from their seat and one by one headed for the exit. “It’s a perfectly normal thing!”

“Of course it is,” Siwon agreed in means of assuring him. “But that doesn’t mean we need to know about it.”

“You too, Siwon? You too?” Finally he let out a sigh of defeat, there was just no arguing with these guys when they all banded together.