#he probably couldn't have done it while he was still a wang though

[inkyweenus]

Post 8 edit: This has nothing to do with EP8, but I still stand by it.

I was kinda frustrated at first with how little actual plot information we've been getting each episode, but then I realized that if we got any semblance of a plan from Lu Guang, that would mean that Xiao Li would also probably get that information, and then he'd fuck up everything with sheer incompetence.

I mean... it's pretty much his fault that both of his partners are dead, and if it weren't for Qiao Ling reigning him in, he'd have done a lot more damage already. But she's reigning everyone in this season. Post 8 edit: I stand by this QL statement even more now. Although, because of the shitty subtitles, I'm not 100% sure if Wang Juan is actually dead yet.

Love that for Qiao Ling. But back to Xiao Li:

I have very little sympathy for him.

As a boss, he never gave his subordinate a day off. Not even to have a proper wedding. Or to care for his pregnant wife and unborn child. And after working Chen Bin several days in a row without even letting the man go home to sleep, XL was too caught up in getting some civilians to do his job that he didn't even notice CB leave the room during a time that he said himself everyone was to be on high alert. And we all know what happened after that.

And then after seeing his dead partner fall from the sky, XL was knocked out by random extras he knew would probably be afoot, rendering him incapable of doing anything while those civilians and some old people safely (?) apprehended the suspects.

(Okay, that one isn't fair. He was definitely in shock. But still.)

And then once he was conscious and back to work, he demanded the civilians continue to do his job for him, even though one was literally hooked into a hospital bed, because he's not even competent enough to look into cases that his former colleague-turned-evil and current antagonist was involved with during his downward spiral.

And then, he doesn't even wonder why some random unidentifiable witness only wants to talk to this civilian that shouldn't isn't publicly on the case but is essentially running it. XL just gives said civilian, who minutes before exited the scene of a double homicide while experiencing not only his own emotions but those of the child watching her mother (and almost brother) be beaten to death, a crash course on police interrogation and says, "Go get 'em, Tiger!"

And then, after losing his first trusted partner to a person who has proved capable of possessing anyone to do anything including kill themself and kill their friends, he established a whole buddy system to avoid people getting possessed and hurt but said his currently assigned partner was fine to go alone because he trusted her and she's "strong." Isn't that even more reason to not want her to potentially get possessed? It literally just happened to a cop you trusted, so it's not like the law makes them immune.

And then when his new partner, this civilian he can't stop traumatizing, and the person that has admitted on mic to be the one possessing people went missing after acting suspicious on camera AND MICROPHONE, he didn't even bother to call and notify the guard posted at the exit, who was also not part of this buddy system apparently. Like... Where did you think they were escaping from, the air vents?! This isn't a spy novel. And you left the one guy who's in charge of people coming in and out of the premise alone and totally out of the loop?? When one of the people involved is a former cop that people around here seem to kinda trust a bit?!

AND THEN he couldn't even catch the kid he put a tracker on, but this time he didn't even have to ask the civilians to do his job for him. They just heard that CaPtaIn XiAo was on the case and immediately jumped into action--evading police and hijacking vehicles to triangulate their partner's location by land and sea to prevent his capture

(at least for now... things can go south pretty quick and I'm just being dramatic while I wait for this episode to drop) Post 8 edit: Obviously things were going to get worse first. Would love some understandable subtitles to really know how much worse, though.

Or.

He's actually the bad guy and all of this was on purpose. I think I'd be okay with that.

[strawberrylollipop26-blog-blog]

The Untamed/Actors

Okay. I finally watched The Untamed and I really cannot stop watching the series.

A few weeks ago, I was bored enough to watch the show. First, let me say that it wasn't because I harbored any negative thoughts. See, I've heard of the show for awhile now. However, my version of remembering is someone telling me one of the mains dies. Well, I'm not a fan of sad endings so I refused to watch the series for the longest time. It's been sitting in my Netflix cue for awhile. Possibly a month before, I'd watched Word of Honor and before that Alchemy of Souls which meant I was pretty desperate for something new in the fantasy world (and besides I love a man with long hair). Ha.

Anyway, I somehow came across someone advertising the story on TikTok so I found the book and couldn't put it down. Took me a few days to read through (mostly because I have a person in my life who demands attention). No excuses left except to watch the series.

I was a bit sidetracked at first. I mean, there are some things that are the same and others completely different. I'm old enough to know the reason why they didn't include the actual couple coupling. I wasn't even upset about that and even though I was thrown off by the scenes of WWX with Qing. I understood where they were coming from too. I didn't understand why they changed the other elements of the story: the yin iron pieces, WWX genius, "the sword (they removed the body parts and I was really looking forward to a headless man chasing the junior disciples around). Sadly this meant removing a lot of the funny, jaw dropping parts too.

Either way, although some aspects took longer, I really liked this series. I'm really bummed it took me years to watch it. I feel like I missed all the hype, but then again I think Covid snuck up on this show too and they had to stop promotions afterward. I'm glad that of the research I've done the show did so well.

The relationship between LZ and WY in the book and show makes me want to scream. Honestly, both can be appreciated in different ways. Watching the show, again I wasn't disappointed with the character representation or their relationship.

A plus was I never gave JC a second thought while reading the book and even started to dislike him. The JC on the show gave me all the feels.

The Actors

I found out the main leads for WWX and LZ can actually sing. They're so good. The past week or so they did a show and I was able to hear them. I went down the rabbit hole after that. I didn't even know they sung the theme to The Untamed. I should've probably looked it up, but at the time I was too obsessed with the beautiful flute(?) playing to pay much attention to the singing.

Now, I'm in the process of discovering if I'm going to be a new fan.

Sidenote and complete digression. BTS it hasn't even been a full year and I'm already falling in love with new people. My heart was supposed to belong to them only. End of sidenote.

I've found other shows with the actors in them to try and discover if I actually like them or it's the hair and the story. I thought I liked actors before and then I just had a hard time being interested when I see them without hair. Sadly, I started watchin Xiao Zhan's new show and he unfortunately has hair so I'm still in love. Although, I found his other show Oath of Love and I'm going to check that out, but I think I should wait. I don't know if I should watch two shows at the same time with the same person. How will I ever know it's true?

His new show "The Longest Promise" is interesting, but I'm not sure how to feel about it right now. I'm taking my time so I'm only on episode five. Important note about me is I always choose streaming because I hate waiting for shows to come on. I know these are supposed to come out daily, but still. Normally, I'm the type of person to wait until everything's out to watch it.

I even found Legend of Fei with Wang Yibo, and he also has hair. I know he has another movie called Hidden Blade (I think), but I was unable to find that one.

Well, I will be digesting their other shows to see if I want to jump into new fandoms. Who am I kidding? I'm already in the shallow end.

[justawanderingbabbit]

InkTober Day 25:

As a model, Song Qinghe was always a pleasure to work with. An excellent photographer himself, he understood the need for poise and making the best use of the light. He was also biddable, docile and quietly attentive.

Su Nan, who knew the man behind the mask, sometimes wondered how Liu Can managed it. Oh, back when he was Wang Can he'd been a dedicated operative, hard-working and obedient. But these days Liu Can was a snarky temper on steroids, stubbornly unwilling to be bossed around or under anyone's thumb except that Jiang Zisuan fellow.

"So how do you go from Liu Can to this?" she asked, settling him into position, loose fitting sweater enhancing that skinny neck of his. "You didn't used to be much of an actor."

A chuckle as Song Qinghe let his real Self rise just enough to peek at her. "It's easy," he told her. "Song Qinghe's focused on photography. As long as that's the only thing I think about, I'm good."

As he sprawls, curly hair haloed around his face, he adds, "Not to mention it helps if I pretend my brain's melted out my ears."

---

Clone Verse Liu Can, out in the field (literally) doing that photoshoot where he's wandering around the mountains looking like a lost waif.

[benignbucky]

Whiplash Pt. 2

Based on THIS REQUEST

PART ONE

AN: (MINORS DNI) This is probably gonna be the final part, I'm not super feeling this series anymore in all honesty so I'm gonna leave it as a mini series so we can get that resolution. I may come back to it later but for now I am happy with this ending. This could honestly be a standalone but the first part is linked above. Thank you for being so patient with me while I got this out, last weekend was stressful but this weekend is so much better. You may need a fan for the last half of this. ♡

PAIRING: stucky x reader, john walker x reader briefly

Word Count: 2.4k

WARNINGS: John Walker is the ex because absolutely no one likes him and we all know this man radiates tiny pp energy and would be the worst in bed, fighting, minor angst, mostly fluff and smut, unprotected sex (wrap your wang before you bang), threesome, overstimulation, squirting, HELLA praise kink, pet names (baby, peach, good girl), brief mentions of dub-con/non-con with ex, unbeta'ed (all mistakes are my own)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The memories of that night were burnt in the back of your eyes. Seeing your ex, John, for the first time in 6 months and he still had so much power over you.

The second you opened the door, tears sprung to your eyes as a barely audible 'w-what are you doing here?' escaped your mouth before he was walking in, clearly not noticing Bucky and Steve walking over with fury in their eyes.

"You need to leave before this gets messy." Steve and Bucky were easily twice his size, not so much in height but in pure muscle.

"Oh, so you're moved out and fucking both of your roommates. A whore like you would do that, huh?" John

You backed behind Bucky as Steve took the lead. "Listen, I don't care who you think you are but you don't just get to come back around after how you treated her. Let alone call her something she most certainly is not seeing as you're the one that cheated on her with how many women?"

"You may look all big but I doubt you even know how to fight. Useless muscle if you ask me." Little did he know that both incredibly skilled in combat, especially hand-to-hand combat. And that's all it took for Bucky to leap forward and land a bone breaking punch to John's jaw, almost knocking him out cold. This had him backing out the door, learning his place.

"And don't even think about coming back here because next time you'll have to be dragged out," The tone of Bucky's voice was firm and aggressive but only until John walked out of the building before he joined Steve in comforting you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been three hours since John tried to pry himself into your life again. You were still trembling even though you were in the arms of the two people you trusted most. The idea that John could just show up again out of nowhere terrified you more than anything. You were well protected by Steve and Bucky but just having John in the same room, no, same building as you brought on heart shattering fear and anxiety.

You had all migrated to your room, the three of you barely fitting on your queen size mattress. It really showed off how much bigger they were compared to other guys, especially compared to you. Both of them were easily at least a foot taller than you. Their biceps easily closer to the size of one of your thighs than your arms.

Around you, they were gentle giants. That was until they needed to protect you. And they would, with their whole being. They just wanted to show you how much they valued you, how much you lit up their lives. They wanted you to know that it wasn't one sided. The two of them were pampering you in kisses and praise, gentle caresses, doing everything they could to make you feel safe and loved.

Eventually your breathing and heart rate had calmed, turning on your back so you could look at the two men. Their overwhelming appreciation towards you made you want to show your appreciation for them but you were mustering up the courage. You hadn't been intimate with anyone, let alone with yourself since before you moved in. Any experience with John had been too rough, basically forced from you but you didn't know any better.

This one moment with Bucky and Steve, everything felt different. They asked if they could play with your hair, caress your face in their hands, or even to soothingly rub your back. Every touch required you to tell them yes. If it made you even the slightest bit uncomfortable, they would stop and move back to something else you had already agreed to, which only made your core dampen more than it already was.

Fighting the nerves, you kissed them both with nothing but love and passion, hinting for something more. It took them a minute to take the hint but when they did, their actions only got softer.

"Are you sure? You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with." Steve whispered. His and Bucky's eyes had darkened, pupils blown out. This only made you want them more.

You nodded at them both even though you knew they wanted a verbal answer. You gulp before mustering up a soft, "Yes, I want this. Want you. Both of you."

Slowly, you sat up, starting to tug at the hem of your oversized shirt before you felt one metal and one flesh hand move your hands away, removing your shirt for you.

"This is about you, peach. Don't worry about us. We want you to feel good." Bucky whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine but in the best way possible.

Steve was behind you, rubbing circles into your back as Bucky trailed kissed down your jaw and neck. You leaned back against Steve's chest as Bucky's kisses went lower to your chest. "Can we take this off?" Looping his flesh fingers under the strap of your bra.

"Please…" You breathed out your answer, feeling Steve's hand loop under you to unclasp the article of clothing. You gasped at the cold sensation of Bucky's metal hand brushing over your hot skin and he chuckled softly. "You're so fucking beautiful, you know that? Isn't she, Steve?" You leaned back once more only to gasp again at the light flick that Bucky gave to your nipple. "Absolutely gorgeous." Steve hummed his answer, you could feel his length growing underneath you.

The moment you felt Bucky's mouth over your chest left your mouth agape, your back arching at his touch. His mouth didn't linger long as it started moving lower and lower until he was in between your thighs, kissing over your biker shorts but not over where you wanted him the most.

Out of instinct, you reach down to pull off your remaining clothing but Bucky just shakes his head and replaces your hands with his. This time it's him gasping at how absolutely dripping you are. "Oh you poor baby, probably haven't had someone focused on your pleasure in so long."

Steve's hands moved up to tease your chest, massaging and caressing everything he could reach before pulling his shirt off with you still on top of him. Bucky did the same before placing your thighs over his shoulders, looking for any sign of you being uncomfortable but only saw your eyes shut in pleasure.

Dipping his head down, he licked a broad stripe up your dripping cunt, not even giving you time to be shocked as he got to work. Your sounds were only making him work harder as you took his hands in yours at your side.

John only went down on you once and that was after begging him because it was 'only fair' seeing as you had always done it for him. Steve and Bucky didn't even ask, didn't want you to because unlike John, they cared more about your pleasure than their own.

"Such a good girl," Steve mumbled in your ear before leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck. This only fueled your needs.

"More, Bucky. Please…" You had let go of one of his metal hand only to tangle your fingers in his hair, pushing him even further into your core. He was groaning against you at your neediness, which sent vibrations throughout your entire body.

You were about to beg again but before the words could even come out, you felt two cold fingers at your entrance before they slowly slid in and bumping into your g-spot, which wasn't something you had ever experienced before.

"B-Bucky… oh my god! What was that?" You were a blubbering mess at this new found sensation.

Looking up at you and only moving his mouth away to say, "You can't tell me no one has ever?-" His fingers were curling up at an agonizing pace, your hips bucking on his hand was the only response he needed before he started moving at a faster pace. You were almost at your peak, legs trembling, as he put his mouth back on you and sucked your bundle of nerves into his mouth.

You had never felt this much pleasure before in your life. Only a few more strokes of his hand left and you felt like you had exploded, seeing stars. The sounds you were making and your grip on Bucky's hair had him groaning against you, only heightening your peak and making it more intense. Bucky wasn't done yet though, he was going to drag out your high until you couldn't take anymore, Steve nearly forgotten behind you.

Any words you tried to make were incoherent as Bucky finally slowed down and kissed back up your body. "Such a good girl for us, aren't you, baby?" Chuckling at how you could only nod as a response. The two men would have been happy with at that but you were already sitting up and turning around to give Steve attention, which took them both by surprise.

You were a shy person in general let alone during a situation like this but your orgasm only gave you more confidence. Bucky laid down as you crawled up and straddled Steve. As much as he would love to watch you ride him, you were spent. You looked it to. With a swift motion, you were back on your back, legs spread again as Steve pulled down his pants and his briefs, Bucky following behind shortly.

You knew both of them were packing at the one too many times you had walked in on one of them getting out of the shower so you weren't that surprised to see how big they were in the moment. "I would love to taste you but I can't wait any longer, needa be inside you. Is that alright?" Steve accepted your whimper of a yes and draped his body over yours, giving you a tender kiss before reaching down and running a finger in between your folds and lining himself up to your entrance.

He didn't even need to look up at you for approval, you were already snaking your legs around his hips. "Eager girl, aren't you?" Steve smirked before pressing into you slowly, earning a soft moan from you before rocking his hips slowly as you got used to his size before working up to a faster pace. Both of you moaning and groaning as you raked your nails down his back.

"Fuck, so tight. Don't know how long 'm gonna last." You were already squeezing around, trying to milk him for everything he had.

"F-faster… harder…" You begged and he happily obliged. You didn't care if he didn't last much longer, you knew Bucky wanted a turn and you wanted to give them both a chance at you. "Oh my god, Steve. I'm gonna cum… please." Your begging only made Steve's release come sooner, only letting go when you had reached your peak as well, pulling at his hair as he groaned into your neck before his thrusts slowed to a halt.

You were still catching your breath before the two men swapped places. "Think you can handle one more, peach?" Bucky hovered over, looking for any sign of you wanting to stop. "I sure hope so." You chuckled out of breath still before gasping as Bucky flipped you over onto your stomach and pulling your hips up to meet his, his hands resting at your hips.

"That's a good girl," lining himself up, Bucky groaned at the wetness that was Steve's release mixed with yours as he pushed in. Steve was longer but Bucky was noticeably thicker as he pushed into you. "You weren't kidding, Steve. So. Fucking. Tight." Bucky growled out. Steve reached over to moved your hair out of your face before Bucky started thrusting into you.

"If it's too much, just say and we'll stop and take care of you." Steve reassured you before nodding to Bucky, encouraging him to pick up the pace.

And he did, his thrusts were relentless but were all for your pleasure. Neither of you would last very long but he wanted this one to be the best orgasm of the night. "Steve," Bucky managed, nodding his head to Steve, motioning for him to touch you. The whine you let out when Steve scooted down to rub feverish circles around your clit which was only bringing your third incredibly intense orgasm of the night only moments away.

"Oh god… of fuck fuck FUCK…" amongst another string of curses cam out of both you and Bucky's mouth as you came, covering Bucky's thighs, Steve's hand, and your comforter. It only took that sight and a couple more thrusts as Bucky was filling you to the brim. "Fuck…." He groaned, "Can't say I've ever had that happen before."

You drop to lay flat on your stomach on the bed, clearly oblivious to you squirting all over the two men and your blanket, only humming in response. "Did you know that you could do that, baby? Did you know you could squirt?" Your eyes widened at Steve as he asked, he took that answer as an obvious 'no' and chuckled softly.

You wished you could move but you were so fucked out that your limbs were limp. Steve got up and grabbed a new t-shirt and underwear for you to put on as Bucky eased out of you, causing another whine from you at the sensation. Steve left the room temporarily just to get a warm washcloth and a different blanket for the three of you as the other one was deemed in need of a wash.

The two cleaned and dressed you before laying out the new blanket over you. Bucky laid down first, pulling you to lay on his chest before Steve crawled behind you, spooning you. You were barely conscious but you heard the small I love you's and praises from them about how good you did. You breathed out a small 'love you too' before falling asleep.

[ahgaseforeternity]

Jackson’s Concert part 1

(A tad long, but worth it)

THE MUSIC WAS EUPHORIC AS YOU STOOD UNDERNEATH the stadium lights that were flashing bright. Laser beams of all different colors danced throughout the giant arena, filled with fans dancing to the insane beat. You weren't going to come tonight, but in the end, your heart couldn't help it.

You swayed along with the crowd, raising your hands high up in the air. This song, you knew it by heart.

But, of course you did. It was about you. He had written it about you.

That thought brought you back down to earth. From where you stood amongst the crowd, it was amazing that Jackson hadn't seen you yet. You were right there in front of him. You could reach your hand out and touch the stage if you wanted to. The screaming fans surrounding you seemed to be doing it.

You kept your hands to yourself though. You knew you shouldn't be here, but it had been a year since you last saw him.

Jackson and you didn't keep in contact much, if at all. Even though you thought about him everyday since. The only way you knew what was going on was through his Instagram and your family friend, Julia, who happened to be part of Team Wang. That's actually how Jackson and you met.

Julia had told you about this really amazing, funny guy she knew and thought he would be perfect for you, since you had just gotten out of a very, very bad relationship with some wannabe, washed up actor. You remember thinking 'what the heck?' You had nothing to lose.

Oh, how you had been wrong.

You pulled your phone out, trying hard to hold on to it. The girls behind you had been pushing and pushing just to get closer. had held your ground, but you did not want to accidentally drop your phone. There was no way you would get it back in one piece with everyone dancing and jumping around.

Your fingers scanned your scene and you tapped the first name on your messenger.

When he's done singing On The Rocks, meet me just outside the backstage doors. Give the guards my name, they know you'll be coming back.

You bit your lip. You felt your heart speed up. Were you really doing this? You weren't going to actually see Jackson, there was no way. That was the only reason you took the tickets Julia offered. Wasn't it? When Julia had told you Jackson would be coming to New York City for part of his world tour, you didn't know what to think.

That last time you heard from him, he'd been in China. He had been building up his company more.

The same company he had launched not too long after you broke up. You noticed that he went with your color ideas for the bright, neon beanies. Jackson loved his hats, and he looked damn good in them. He was wearing one now that was drenched from him dumping a water bottle on himself. He threw it into the raving crowd. You knew out there some fan was freaking out over being able to have something so simple as Jackson Wang's water bottle.

Where you had gotten the full thing, and still walked away. It brought fresh tears to your eyes.

You hurried and tried to squeeze your way through the swooning fans, making your way towards the backstage doors.

Cement walls with different bands and singers lined the walls as you drew up to two beefy looking security guards. You gave them your I.D and they nodded their heads in unison. You pushed through the door to utter chaos.

There were people running all which way, making sure those in the audience could have the best experience they ever possibly could. Jackson wouldn't want anything less. He'd always been that way.

Even with you.

You found a green, velvet couch and plopped yourself down so you were out of the way.

"Y/N? Y/N!"

You immediately jumped back up and awkwardly laughed as you took your friend in. Julia squealed as she wrapped her arms around you. You squeezed her back.

"Oh, Julia. I've missed you." You exclaimed into her ear. She squeezed you a little harder. "Oh, Y/N! I've missed you too! Oh my gosh, you look amazing. Jackson is going to DIE when he see's you."

You widened your eyes. "What?" Could she feel you shaking? You hoped not.

"Yeah, he has to see you! Oh, come on, Y/N, don’t give me that look. Are you telling me that the only reason you came tonight was to see me?" Julia was giving you that 'look' with her thick eyebrows lifted.

"Of course." You knew it was a lie.

Julia just shook her head at that. "Y/N, I love you and I have missed you, but there is no way I'm letting you leave tonight without your gorgeous ass being checked out by Mr. Wang himself. Besides, he asked me about you before we landed last night."

You felt your heart lurch. She couldn't be talking about Jackson. There was no way. You and him have hardly spoken. He couldn't have been asking about you.

"No, Julia there's no way. I came back here to just be with my best friend, okay? I don't need to see him. Besides, I don't want to ruin his night. He seemed to be having the time of his life out there." You stated, while Julia pulled you through the room that lead to a open hall way.

You could see the stairs that lead up to the stage. If Jackson came down them right now, he'd see you. You bit your lip against that thought. Julia tugged you into what seemed to be the refreshments room. Bottled water, fruits, yummy snacks were laid out on a long table.

"Do you want something to eat? We have plenty!" Julia asked.

There was no way you were going to be able to keep food down right now. Not with the major butterflies that were going on. You simply shook your head. Julia shrugged, picking up an apple, and bite into it.

You heard someone yelling Julia's name. She groaned in annoyance. Same ole' Julia it seemed.

She placed the apple in your hand. "Hold this for me, I'll be right back! Just stay here." She motioned with her hands. You watched her scurry out the door.

You sighed. This had been a bad idea. You might've thought coming back here had nothing to do with Jackson, but in your heart you knew you'd be kidding yourself. You wanted to see him, but what would you even say?

Hey Jackson, looking good.

Oh, Jackson, fancy meeting you back here.

Jackson, I still love you, do you still love me?

They all sounded terrifying. You placed Julia's apple on a napkin, and reached for a water bottle. It gave you something to focus on. You twisted the cap and gulped it. You lifted it from your lips to see you had drank about half. It wasn't doing anything for your nerves. You still felt like your skin was going to explode. You drank some more.

As you dropped the now empty bottle you turned to throw it in the trash that was just by the door. Just as the bottle was in the air, someone appeared just in front of it. The bottle hit them square in the chest. Thank goodness it was empty. You have always had terrible aim.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I was just throwing it—.”

"Y/N?"

You stopped.

You hadn't realized. In the dim lighting of the room, you hadn't recognized the piercing eyes, the silky hair that looked to be drenched with sweat. Jackson was staring at you like he was seeing a ghost. It had only been a year, but still. Being this close to him again, it sucked the air out of you. Jackson seemed to have that power with him. Whenever he entered a room, every eye was drawn to him.

When you were together though, he only had eyes for you.

Those very eyes were boring into yours. His rose bud lips were parted. Gosh, his perfect lips.

"What— Y/N, what are you doing here?"

His voice seemed to snap you from the trance his lips had on you. The thought made you bite your own. You watched his hands fist at his sides, holding the beanie he had been wearing.

"I um, I came to see the show. Oh, and Julia."

"Julia?" Jackson seemed to confused.

"Yes. I promise she was just here, but someone called her name, then she left, giving me her apple and told me just to stay here, so I did. I grabbed a water, I hope that's okay. Their your waters right? Gosh, I'm sorry." You were mumbling. You always mumbled when you were nervous, and right now you were a wreck.

Jackson looked down at his booted feet. He bent down and picked up the water bottle that you meant to throw away. You could see your lipstick around the rim of it. Jackson narrowed his eyes. "This water bottle?"

"Uh, yes. I meant to throw it in the garbage, but you know me, zero aiming skills." You huffed out with a nervous laugh.

Oh gosh, you were being ridiculous. This wasn't going the way you had imagined. Jackson clenched the bottle in his hand, as his eyes scanned you from top to bottom. Your face felt like it was on fire.

You could see the memories playing out in his eyes. He was thinking about all the times you laughed together. All the times you stayed in and cooked dinner together because it was better than going out. All the times you had said his name into the night, and all the times he had said yours.

You had loved each other. He had once told you he dreamed of having a love just like his parents, and you always wondered if someday you'd have that. Now, now that was all ruined. That dream had to of been flushed down the drain.

"I thought you never wanted to see me again?" Jackson stated, taking one step towards you.

You parted your lips in surprise at the words that were so close to the ones you had yelled at him a year ago. You had told him you never wanted to see him again. That whatever you had, was over. You had meant them then. You hadn't wanted to see him again. Jackson needed to focus on his career. You knew that. His manager knew that. Jackson was the only one that didn't.

That's when you made the decision. He had to focus on it, and he couldn't be tied down. That's what you were. You were a tither, keeping him from chasing his dreams. So you cut the tie.

"Yeah, those words were a little harsh huh?" You tried to laugh through your wince. His face was steel. You gripped your purse that was over your shoulder, fumbling the chain.

"You know what? I'll just go, yeah, that'd probably be best." You made your way for the door, but found yourself being stopped by a warm hand that was wrapped around your wrist. You gasped at Jackson's contact.

You barely had time to turn around as he pulled you down the hall into a different room. This room was darker, and had another couch. You saw Jackson's favorite pair of sneaks, and knew this had to be his room, or more over, the main entertainers room.

He turned around to shut the door, and you heard it click closed. Jackson locked you in with him. You felt your skin starting to prickle where his fingers still held your wrist. His eyes met yours then.

"Why, Y/N? Why the hell are you here? Are you here to just torture me? Are you here to rub your happy life in my face?" Jackson looked livid.

What was he talking about? Your happy life? You weren't happy. You hadn't been this whole year.

"What are you talking about Jackson? I didn't come here to rub anything in your face. I just came to see a friend, that's it." You lied. You had to lie. You knew the odds were high of running into him here, but you weren't here to rub anything in his face, you only just had to see him. Possibly one last time.

He gripped your shoulders roughly, and pushed you back, until you were against the far wall. You gasped in surprise, as your feet stumbled. He was so close, you could smell him. He didn’t smell like sweat. He smelled like home.

You watched his eyes soften as he stared at you.

"A friend? I used to be your friend too, remember."

Of course you remembered. He was your best friend. He knew you better than you knew yourself. He was always there, even on those days he was so busy, he still made time for you.

That's why you had to end things.

"Of course. You'll always be my friend Jackson." You uttered. It wasn't a complete lie. Jackson would always matter to you, but you didn't want to just be his friend. You never have.

His eyes hardened again. "We've barely even talked, Y/N. It's been a year. A year, and I hear nothing, nothing from you."

You could feel your skin burning. "Well, what would you have wanted me to say Jacks? That I hope you're doing well? Asking how China is, or your sister? I didn't want to know those things."

"Why?"

"Because Jackson..." You groaned.

"Because why?!" He gripped your shoulders harder.

"Because I missed you enough already, okay!" You shouted against him. His eyes widened at your outburst. You melted against the wall in defeat.

"I didn't ever reach out to you because I didn't want to know. I didn't want to know how well things were going. I know that's selfish. I know it's selfish for me to even come here, but I had to Jackson. I had to see you just at least once." Your voice was full of desperation. You didn't care.

"You looked amazing up there. They love you, Jackson. It's everything you ever wanted."

His eyes were hazy as they bore into yours. "Not everything."

You sighed at his words. His eyes drifted to your lips then. His stare sent bolts of lightning through your veins. It was making you shiver.

A knock sounded at the door, causing you both to jump.

"Jackson! The cars ready for you." Someone stated through the door.

"Okay, thanks," was all Jackson said back. You both listened as the feet retreated. He stumbled away from you, lifting his burning touch from your shoulders. You missed that touch.

"Where are you staying?"

He met your eyes again. He looked torn. You didn't blame him. Talking to him was opening up wounds for you too. Cuts that never truly healed.

"The Hyatt Centric in Times." He exclaimed. You simply nodded your head.

"Well, I'm sure you and your team are exhausted. I'll get going." You realized that your purse had fallen to the floor. It must've been when Jackson had knocked you backwards. You bent down to pick it up, and made for the door.

He didn't stop you this time. You almost wish he had. You felt so pathetic. You showed up to what? Bare your heart and soul to a man that didn't need you anymore? He had fans that adored him. He didn't need you to adore him. You let the tears fall freely, as you held your hand out and called for a taxi.