#he only ever had a losing control and attacking his friends moment Once . in archie sonic.

[sonknuxadow]

people are obsessed with portraying werehog as this uncontrollable monster who goes around killing people when hes literally just a weird dog

[bebraveridethedragon]

I’ve Got No Fucking Clue

The people have asked and the people shall now receive. Although I don’t have a title and if you would like to help me come up with one than plz do.

Warning: This chapter does have a rape scene, I don’t think it’s too graphic but if it triggers you than don’t read the italics part. There are also spoilers for Tales of Arcadia.

Chapter 1

Nick Fury was a mysterious man who knew mysterious people. He also knew Hisirdoux Casperan. Hisirdoux, or Douxie, wasn’t all that mysterious.

He wore his heart on his sleeve and wasn’t afraid to talk about feelings. There was one thing he hardly ever told anyone though. He was a wizard, he didn’t have a staff, but he was still pretty damn powerful.

It’s why he was chosen for the Avengers initiative. Douxie knew he was part of it, however, he didn’t think he’d ever be needed.

All of the apocalypses had started in Arcadia so far and they’ve all been taken care of. The last one happened about a year ago.

Douxie was still having nightmares from it, going back in time had brought back memories he had tried so hard to forget.

Luckily he now had friends that were willing to support him, other than Archie and Zoe that is. They were also very cuddly people too, Douxie didn’t mind though, he was extremely touch starved.

He was staying with Claire’s family while he was rebuilding his old bookshop. He was getting better too, it’s why he knew something bad was going to happen. Something new always came when he was finally allowed to relax.

He was teaching Claire the wizard language in the living room when there was a knock on the door. Claire got up to get it but looked confused when she looked through the peephole.

“Can I help you?” She asked politely.

“Yes, I’m looking for Hisirdoux Casperan. I was told he’s living here right now.” Douxie knew that voice, he also knew what it meant if he was here.

“What was stolen Fury?” Douxie asked. He had come up behind Claire and put a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s best if we talk inside.” Fury said. Douxie looked at Claire and she nodded. They both stepped back and walked back into the house.

“I assume you know why I’m here?” Fury asked. He sat down on the arm chair while Claire and Douxie took the couch.

“Not the details, but I read the stars last night like I do every night and they said something important’s going to be stolen.” Douxie replied. Archie was sitting on the back of the couch swatting at the back of Douxie’s head.

“Something was stolen and the person who stole it is also mind controlling several agents and scientists. We need your help.” Fury interlaced his fingers and set his forearms on his thighs.

“Fuzz buckets. Alright, sorry Claire but our lessons have to be put on hold for a while.” Douxie looked at Claire.

“But I can help! I’ve been training every day, and you even said I was getting better.” Claire protested.

“We just finished fighting our third apocalypse, you deserve to spend time with Jim and your family.” Douxie grabbed onto Claire’s shoulders.

“But who’s going to protect you?”

“I’ll have Archie, and a full team of other people.”

“Be careful, call whenever you can, and for the love of god don’t die again.” Douxie smiled at her before pulling her into a hug.

“I promise C-Bomb. Tell the others bye for me?” Douxie whispered into her hair. He felt her nod against his chest before he pulled away.

Douxie ruffles her hair and Claire laughed. Her eyes were watery but she wasn’t crying. Douxie might not have been able to leave if she had been crying.

“Go pack your things Casperan, I’ll be waiting I the car. You’ll be debriefed on the way.” Fury said, breaking the moment. Douxie smiled at Claire one last time before nodding and heading to his room.

He was done packing after 15 minutes. When he walked down the stairs he was pulled into a group hug. This caused Douxie to laugh.

“Guys I’m not going to be gone that long.” Douxie said.

“Yeah but you’re still leaving.” Krel replied.

“I’ll call whenever I can, but I really need to leave.” Douxie pushes everybody off of him.

“But why though, we just finished a war why do you need to go fight another one?” Seamus complained.

“It’s not fair Doux.” Jim said.

“I know Jim, but I made a promise a few years ago and I’m not going to back out of it now.” Douxie explained. Douxie smiled at all of his friends before exiting the house with Archie on his shoulders.

He opened the car door before he turned to where his friends were crowded around the door. Douxie stuck his tongue out and shot them the devils horns before getting in the car.

The car took off as soon as he was buckled. Fury was sitting next to him holding a file that he handed to Douxie.

“Two days ago, Loki stole the Tesseract. He also compromised Barton-“

“Wait Clint’s one of the brain washed agents?” Douxie cut Fury off.

“Yes, we need your help tracking Loki through his staff. We also need you to remove the magic Loki’s put over Barton’s and all the other agents minds.” Fury finished.

Douxie read through part of the file he was allowed. He nodded to what Fury said before he closed the file.

“Who’s all part of the team?” Archie asked.

“Besides you two; there’s Steve Rogers, Romanoff, Tony Stark, and Bruce Banner. Although Banner’s mainly there to find the tesseract, he’s a last resort fighter.” Fury answered.

It had been a while since Douxie had talked to Nat, but he still remembered her. He reopened the file and started reading what it said, it was all about the people on the team and astrophysics stuff.

Soon enough, the car pulled up to a jet and Fury, Douxie, and Archie got out of the car.

Grabbing his bags, Douxie walked over to the jet that Fury was boarding. Archie ran inside and jumped onto a seat, Douxie sat down next to him after putting his bags away.

The jet ride was quiet, and Douxie took that time to take a nap. He started dreaming.

DREAM

Douxie was in Camelot, before the time traveling incident. He had only been Merlin’s apprentice for a short while, but it was the best time of his life.

That night he was so tired he didn’t feel Lancelot coming up behind him. Archie wasn’t with him either, having gone to bed earlier in the evening.

“Your Merlin’s new errand boy aren’t you?” He had asked.

“I’m his apprentice, not errand boy. Although you’d have to have a brain to know the difference.” Douxie had replied. He knew insulting a knight was a terrible idea, but he didn’t really care at the time.

Lancelot grabbed the collar of his tunic and shoved him against a castle wall. He looked pissed.

“What did you just say to me, I think I need to teach you a lesson. Show you who’s boss around here.” Lancelot said. Douxie’s breathing picked up.

“You’re very pretty, did you know that? If you weren’t a wizard, I would have thought about courting you.” Lancelot was staring at Douxie’s lips. Douxie could feel something poking his thigh and he started to panic.

“Hmm, I wonder. Have you ever been with someone before?” Douxie shook his head, too scared to speak. Lancelot smiled evilly before he let go of Douxie’s tunic.

Douxie let out a breath of relief but it was cut off by a yelp when he felt his hands being held above his head.

“Well, I guess it’s time to change that. And if you even think about trying to use magic, I’ll have you executed for attacking a knight.” Lancelot breathed against his neck, right before he started sucking on it.

Douxie started struggling, but he stopped when Lancelot punched him. He felt blood run down his face from his nose.

Lancelot shoved Douxie onto his knees before he undid the cord around his waist. Pulling his dick out of his pants he pumped it a few times to get it hard.

“Open wide, and if I feel teeth you’re losing your tongue.” Douxie stared wide eyed. Lancelot got impatient and forced Douxie’s mouth open.

He roughly thrust into Douxie’s mouth, until his nose touched Lancelot’s blonde pubes. Douxie gagged before Lancelot set up a brutal pace. Douxie started crying, and that must’ve turned Lancelot on even more because he started thrusting faster and harder.

Lancelot was moaning and groaning above him. Douxie kept gagging and spluttering while the knight harshly fucked his mouth. He felt cum shoot down his throat and he was forced to swallow lest he choke on it.

“Well, that was fun but it seems I’m still hard.” Lancelot picked Douxie up by the collar again before he forcefully turned him around and pinned him to the wall.

Lancelot groaned as his dick brushed against Douxie’s ass. Douxie whimpered, trying to stop crying.

“Please don’t.” Douxie begged. Lancelot just laughed before he shoved Douxie’s pants down. Lancelot used the cord from around his waist to gag Douxie.

Douxie felt his eyes widen as he felt a finger at his entrance. He screamed as it entered him but is was muffled by the gag.

Lancelot roughly shoved his finger in and out of Douxie’s hole with a wicked grin on his face. He soon added a second finger and then a third finger, Douxie screaming and sobbing the whole time.

By the time he finished preparing Douxie he was bleeding. Lancelot started kissing Douxie’s neck as he shoved his dick into Douxie’s hole.

Douxie screamed, but once again no one heard him. He could feel the blood dripping down his legs, and it puddled around his feet. It didn’t take long for Lancelot to cum, sucking bruises into his neck the entire time.

Lancelot dropped Douxie onto the floor before undoing the gag to wrap it around his pants he pulled up. He walked away leaving a sobbing Douxie on the floor.

END DREAM

Douxie woke up sobbing, with Archie in his lap and Fury looking at him with concern.

“Which one was it this time?” Fury asked. When they had first met, Douxie was in a cell. After he had woken up from nightmares three nights in a row Fury had come down to talk to him.

He ended up telling him everything, and he’s glad he did because it was one of the things that helped get him out of the cell. He had met Nat and Clint shortly after.

“La-Lancelot.” Douxie sobbed. Archie started purring, hoping it would help his friend. Fury got a blanket out from a compartment underneath the seats, which Douxie took gratefully.

Douxie stopped sobbing a few minutes before the jet landed. When it did land, it looked as though Douxie had never been crying at all and the blanket was back in the compartment.

“Everyone else isn’t arriving until tomorrow, Agent Jackson will show you to your temporary room.” Fury said as an agent walked up to them. He smiled at Douxie before leading him down a bunch of hallways and to a room.

He nodded at Douxie before he left again. Douxie entered the room and saw a bed, dresser, desk, and a door leading to a bathroom.

Douxie changed into pajamas before laying on the bed and closing his eyes. He didn’t fall asleep right away, but it made him feel better. Just lying there knowing Lancelot was dead, and had been for centuries.

I cried while writing this, and rereading it when making sure there were no mistakes. I’m sorry for starting out with angst but oh well.

[dachi-chan25]

Riverdale Meta? Theories?

So @lostinafictionaluniverse made some amazing questions about the finale and what’s to come to next season, and this is my attempt at guessing/figuring out the answers so here I go:

-Who the fuck was Cliff Blossom doing business with in Montreal?

A: Well I think it’s pretty obvious it’s Hiram Lodge (aka Daddy Dearest) not only because FP’s comment to Hermione in episode 8 but also for the conversation Archie overheard at episode 9 where Penelope and Clifford mention then were the ones who sent him to jail and when Hermione and Ronnie discover the Blossoms sent a monthly income to Hiram.

Now my prediction as to what was the business about I think it was something crooked but not the drugs, my guess is that Hiram tríed to play Clifford as he did with Ethel’s dad (and probably many others) but being just as dishonest as him, Cliff managed to turn things around and send him to jail, or maybe they really were partners and Clifford dug up some shit on Hiram and sent him to jail to have the business all to himself.

-

Why the fuck did Cliff Blossom kill Jason? (yeah yeah I know – bcos Jason wanted to expose his business, but I need more than just a narrative that emerged!)



A: So a theme very prominent in the Blossoms (and in Hal Cooper who is also a Blossom xD) was the legacy and the importance of keeping the name of the family in a high and important place, Cheryl was the black sheep because her parents see her as someone that causes trouble (too volatile, too emotional, too needy, in resume weak) in contrast they have their golden boy: Jason. Penélope gives a pretty accurate description of the father-son relationship they have on episode 12: “He (Cliff) was grooming Jason to be his heir!” that’s pretty telling tbh, she didn’t say ‘he was his son’ or ‘he loved him’ but make an emphasis on Jason’s role in the family and their status quo among the Blossoms that we also get to see on episode 9 with their sticky maple ritual and the whole coven/vampire from Twilight look from the board an insight about the Blossoms as a family, as soon as Jason was dead they came to Riverdale to put pressure on Cliffy-boy to choose a new heir among them, that’s why they put on the whole Archie/Cheryl power-couple façade, to mantain the highest position among the family/business/

Now we have Jason, who was dating Polly (that bothered Hal more than the Blossoms of course because ‘ewwww incest’ but the Blossoms see it as ‘those babies are more pure Blossom than anything’ #I’m kinshaming you Penelope) which was not entirely good with his parents (they still don’t like the Coppers) but it’s really inconsecuential and they don’t try to separate them at the beginning, until Jason tells them Polly is pregnant at that moment they cared about their image and of course this wasn’t in their plans! Jason was supposed to finish school, go to collage and then take over the business, what do they do? Well according to what we’re told by Polly and her statement to Sheriff Keller they ordered him to break up with her, and he did (but I think he did so to pretend and gain some time to come up with a plan) for a short time, then they got engaged in secret with Nana Rose as their witness/supporter, I think by then he already had the idea of faking his death, but everything goes wrong, he ends up dead and Polly with the Sisters of the quiet Mercy.

Now in FP’s statement he says Jason went to him for a transport and money, which concides with what Trev tells to Betty in their ‘date’ Jason distanced himself from his friends at school and started selling his things, now I think as careful as Jay-Jay might’ve been, Penelope or Clifford were bound to notice the missing stuff and the wierd attitude, from there it was easy to suppose why, and that’s when Clifford confronted him, we know from Cheryl this was the day before they faked his death at the Sweetwater River, by then I guess Jason was too confident about getting away that he told his dad the things he always wanted to say but never dared in resume I think he told him he wasn’t going to direct the company ever, and not only that he threatens to expose him (the drug business) if he doesn’t let them (Jason and Polly) get away

I think Clifford had someone spying on Jason, and from there he knew about his plan of eloping and of his deal with FP, at frist Clifford confronts him to try to convince him not to let down the family and all that jazz, but when Jason refuses and on top of that threatens him, he loses it.

He indirectly warns the Coopers about Polly’s plans, and trusts that Hal’s hate and Alice’s need to keep up with appearances will keep Polly out of the way, he kidnapps Jason and takes him to the basement of the bar (we know Mustang was his acomplice) there he makes Jason spill the beans about how much he knows/what prove he has/ whom else knows about daddy’s secret business (in the video Jason was in pretty bad shape but I don’t think it was Cliff I think Mustang was the one to 'soften the boy’ for the interrogation) I’m thinking at this point Clifford was still giving him the chance to put this whole thing behind and retake his place as heir and maybe even help him support Polly or some other shit, Jason refused and Clifford was running Out of options, he couldn’t keep Jason there forever, and couldn’t let him get away and expose him, also every one in town already believed him dead, they even had a funeral for him! So his only option was to kill him.

I think he decided to do it himself because he thought a Blossom can only die at the hands of a Blossom, and it works as a parallel for grandpappy Blossom killing his own brother.

Why the fuck did he kill himself? (consumed by guilt and shame – yeah, yeah – tell me something I can believe)



A: Well what options did he have? Either way he was gonna loose the business and go to jail, the family would be let in disgrace, he killed himself, I think, to preserve the little pride he had and in that way he wouldn’t had to face the consequences for his actions, I mean can y'all imagine Clifford Blossom in jail? That pretentious fuck wouldn’t be able to endure it (and I don’t think Penélope would have helped him, all in all she truly seemed to love Jason, or at least she cared more for him than for Cheryl) and maybe it had to do with Hiram getting out of jail too, we know that even from inside Hiram had connections who knows what he could do to Clifford once he was in jail and Hiram free.

Who the fuck is the local component of Blossom’s business? (And it’s not the Serpents, I believe you FP)



A: Yeah I believe in FP too, but still I’m not 100% sure none of the Serpents had deals with Cliffy (look at Mustang for example) so maybe some are Serpents but again he must have had other people I think he disguises them as something else a motorbike gang is too obvious, and in Riverdale everything is about appeareances.

Who the fuck wrote “Go to Hell, Serpent Slut” on Betty’s locker? Where the fuck did they get pig’s blood? And a voodoo Betty doll?

A: Alice gives us a hint about this: she says some people have been attacking the Southside residents for the whole Jason ordeal and she wouldn’t publish Betty’s article because she doesn’t want her to get hurt. We can conclude it was the son/daughter of some of these that did that to Betty. But I think that was a red herring, come on guys who has a feaud with Betty? Ding,ding! Chuck FUCKING Clayton, so he tríed to get back at Betty on Jughead’s party but he utterly failed (and got punched and kicked out of the Andrews house) not only that but after solving/helping solve Jason’s murderer she became some sort of untouchable heroine (which just sucked for him cause it made harder to get her and he had to be sneaky) that is until Betty publish es her article, that gave him the perfect opportunity to scare her and publicy humilliate her at a very tense moment (aka Riverdale’s Civil War) and make other students see her in a bad light, honestly I also think Ethel was involved in the vodoo doll thingy after all we never really knew what they were talking about when Betty confronted him and wasn’t it weird that if Ethel was accosed by him she would defend him against Betty? Also who the hell told Chuck and Cheryl about the birthday party for Juggie? They sure as hell weren’t invited, we know none of the core four did it (Archie and Cheryl had a fallout, Verónica resented her family for sending her dad to jail, Betty was always bullied by her not to mention the Thing with Polly, Jughead didn’t even knew about it) Kevin would have never done something like that plus he seems not to be friends with Cheryl, Joaquin doesn’t even know them and that lefts is with Ethel who is very shady (at least about Chuck) and seemed very gleeful when Betty lost control so that’s my theory.

As for the blood, well I don’t know where they got it, but it’s a callout to the movie/book 'Carrie’ if you haven’t watched/read I’ll try to summarize it here: Carrie is a teenager with telekinetic powers, she is described as wierd by all the people (this is due to her very religious mother education that made Carrie very shy) and is constantly bullied by the girls in her school. So one of the girls feels bad about a particular nasty thing they do to her and decides to help her, Susie ask her boyfriend to ask Carrie to the dance and he agrees, at the same time other of the girls (Chris) is banned from the dance cuz she refused to take her punishment for bullying Carrie, and when she catches wind of Susie’s plan she decides to intervene, she arranges the votes so that Carrie and her date be King and Queen of the dance and when they go up the stage she pours a bucket of blood over her, this destroys Carrie because she had to stand up to his mom to go to the dance (the frist time she defies her) and was actually having fun and making friends (she was normal) so when she thinks people are laughing at her (just like her mom said they would) she loses it and kills everyone with her powers.

We, and Chuck, know Betty is struggling with her mental health and I think the pig blood was a way to taunt her about it, indirectly comparing her with Carrie.

Why the fuck is Mayor McCoy branding Archie as hero? Up until the point he saved Cheryl, Archie hardly did anything - it was all Betty.

A: Because he is the convinient choice, the investigation of Jason’s murderer was entirely a job of Betty and Jughead, the mayor can accept Betty as a heroine but she can’t be the public image of the safety and peace in Riverdale for her family’s involvement in the case (the whole Polly/Jason stuff) and she can’t absolutly sell Juggie as a hero, he doesn’t look the part, his dad is a known alcoholic and in jail, he was homeless, has a criminal récord (in the juvvie) and so on, not exactly Riverdale: the town with pep! Ideal hero.

Archie (Ronnie and Kevin too) was obviously with them when they turned in the USB proving FP’s innocence, and as we know after Jason’s death Archie became Riverdale High’ new golden boy (neither Mayor McCoy nor Sheriff Keller know about Miss Grundy) he lives on the good side of Riverdale, plays football and is popular for his music.

They try to sell the image that everything is as it was before, a place of innocence and peace were justice always triumphs and who is better to represent it than the perfect all-American boy and the girl next-door??

Anyway it’s pretty shitty and fake af, I’m so glad my girl Betty called them out on their shit.

Who the fuck are attacking the Serpents? Does that mean Juggie will be harmed too? (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO)

A: Alice says that they’re people trying to blame someone on the change of Riverdale (this losing of innocence that is the theme of Juggie’s novel) now Clifford killed himself so he can’t be the target and Penélope and Cheryl are victims in all of this, and the next who they find some guilt on the whole Jason affair is FP, yes he didn’t kill the boy, but by cleaning the scene and all that jazz he made it harder to resolve the case, now this combined with the prejudice they seem to have towards the Southside… Boom! A fucking civil war, before they could ignore the Serpents but now their righteousness and their fear that something worse happens to their kids or themselves makes them want to 'protect’ their town.

As for the hurting part, well Alice said there had been attacks, which is vague af, but I think it can go in 2 ways: They have been attacking shouthsiders for going up north, and these people they attacked are not a part from the Serpents (I mean it’s illogical af to believe half a town is a gang) I believe these cuz Juggie himself says about Southside High that it’s a normal highschool with all sorts of people, so I think the same applies to the whole Southside. Also the Serpents seem to always go on groups, I mean the only Serpents we saw alone in the Northside were FP (with Fred and on Juggies bday) and Joaquín (he was posing as Kevin’s boyfriend) plus I don’t see some suburban mommy or daddy (except Alice but she is an ex-Serpent so) attack a gang member on their own, so probably the people that got attacked was extra innocent.

My second option is that the attacks refer to vandalism, y'know some sneaky suburban moms and dads going together to the Southside in the middle of the night and leaving 'cute’ messages like the one on Betty’s locker or trashing the trailers a bit.

Maybe a mix of both?

As for Juggie I think that he will be a essential to the conflict between North&South Riverdale, and he will (with Betty’s aid) end the conflict, I don’t think he’ll be attacked I mean the Serpents sure as hell are gonna keep an eye out for him after FP sacrifized himself defending their innocence, but maybe he’ll get hurt in other way (I mean the writers hurt Jughead at every opportunity they have) still I think beanie boy can manage just fine.

How much is Cheryl’s spider brooch worth? Does that mean Juggie is rich now? Or will Cheryl ask for it back since she’s not dead?

A: Well she makes it sound pretty damn expansive but Cheryl is extra af and tends to exaggerate, so maybe not rich but with some money. I don’t think she asked for it, but I have the hc that Juggie gave it back after they rescued her (idk how expensive it is she gave it to him because she was gonna commit suicide that’s terrifying and I don’t think he would want to keep it) oh I think Ronnie did the same with Cheryl’s shirt.

Where the fuck is Nana Rose? Did Cheryl get her out before Thornhill burned?

A: Cheryl got Nana out of the house even before she drenched the place in gasoline, the twins seemed to be genuinely fond of Nana so for me is impossible to think she would let her burn, so she took Nana somewhere safe before.

Where the fuck are the Blossoms going to live now? At their closest relatives’ - the Coopers? (*incoherent sounds*)

A: LMAO I almost chocked can you imagine Hal, Alice and Penélope under the same roof??? *shudder* nah the Blossoms are loaded and they surely have other properties if not Cheryl’s spider’s brooch surely can buy them a house xD.



Why the fuck couldn’t Social Services find a foster home for Juggie in Riverdale so he could keep going to Riverdale High? (I know, cos there wouldn’t be drama – but really, why?)



A: I mean it surely was for the drama, but let’s think about it from an insider’s pov, so before anything the Social Worker must have talked and researched his mom (I’ll expand on it in the next question) and of course she must have went to see Mr. Wheaterbee, now remember on episode 12 he wanted Jughead to finish the semester from home because of the backlash he could potentially recieve about his dad being the killer, consider that the Social Worker has to have the child’s best interest in mind, of course I think she tríed to find something in the Northside frist (that’s where Jughead’s friends are and what he knows) but do y'all think that someone would take FP’s son in when all of them are prejudiced little fucks, surely when a Southside family offered the social worker realized it was the best for him.

Why the fuck is Juggie’s mom over-extended? (Whatever that means – Sure, him being at Southside beats him going to Toledo, but shouldn’t she be assuming responsibility for him?)



A: okay I won’t pretend to understand how Social Services work in the USA but I did some research. Over extended means to obligate (oneself) to do more activities, work, etc., than one has time for or can accomplish well. In context we can safely deduce Gladys can’t afford to support both JB and Juggie, in that case Social Services would ask for her permition to place him at a foster home which I assume she gives. I hope the next season explains Gladys’s apparent unatachment to her son.

Does a DUI really disqualify Fred from being a foster parent to Juggie?

A: Yes, Social Services must have the child’s best intrest in mind, and someone who drives drunk doesn’t scream responsible to anyone but Fred said his financial problems also influenced in him being ruled out as Juggie’s foster dad.



Why the fuck does Ronnie keep wearing her pearls if she’s so disapproving of her daddy dearest?



A: Appereances, she realized openly confronting her father can hurt her and her mom, and my hc is that is to remind herself to never let her father sway her or buy her again but who knows really? Maybe is the #aesthetic.

Why the fuck is Hermione being a shady bitch when she had a mini nervous breakdown just in the last episode when Hiram’s bag was found with Mustang?



A: The nervous breakdown was because she was scared of losing everything again (the SoDale is all they have left) I mean she wanted to leave town to avoid that, but then she calmed down she probs talked to Hiram aka the King of Shade moved some influences (I mean they already bought Mayor McCoy once) and it’s a pattern with Hermione really, everything that has to do with Hiram reverts her to her old shady self and now that he is coming back it only intensifies.

Why the fuck can Penelope be so cold and unfeeling? (Sidenote: I hate her)



A: But is she really? At Jason’s funeral she almost loses her composture with Archie, and when Cheryl asked about Jason and Cliffy’s discusion she got real mad, at the Riverdale Taste she bitch slapped Alice for her article on Jason’s autopsy… So no she is not unfeeling nor completely cold (but yes she is pretty hateful) I think her apparent nonchalance about everything has to do with being the Blossom’s clan matriarch, remember when that creepy woman at the Maple tapping mocked Cheryl for crying at the funeral or when Penelope banned her from speaking at the funeral? That’s because as I said before Cheryl was too emotional and in the Blossom clan that equals to weakness.

Being Clifford’s wife surely taught her that, at the funeral she was composed (with the exeption of that little slip with Archie and when Cheryl gives her speech) with Cheryl she loses patience quickly I think because in her fucked up way Penelope tríes to teach her to supress her emotions and stop showing weakness in the family.

Another thing I noticed is the weird obsession/pride she has for the Blossom name, and it makes me think perharps she is part of a smaller branch of the family which would make her and Cliff relatives, this would explain why she seems so pelased about Jason/Polly and the babies.

Now after Clifford killed himself she knows they automatically lost their supremacy as the Alpha Blossoms, the board is surely gonna sack them and I’m guessing she is doing some control damage and she needs to be in control of her emotions in front of them. Clifford told her they smelled blood from miles away and they would surely leave her and her daughter on the street at the frist chance they get

She can’t deal with Cheryl because her daughter’s open grief reminds her of her own and that is not what she needs right now (that is still super shitty btw I’m not saying she is not awful but she must have a reason to act that way)

Does Alice know where her son is? What does quiet adoption mean? Was it anonymous?

A: I don’t think so, when someone gives a baby for adoption you sign a legal form that prohibits you for looking for the baby/parents 'til he/she is 18, now I think if Alice knew where the baby was she would have try to get him back (she is a very impulsive woman and also pretty fierce when it comes to her babies) I suppose quiet adoption is not giving details about the mother of the child and all that jazz, and yes it was definitely anonymous Alice and Hal (but mainly Hal) didn’t want to lose the perfect couple image they had going on. The Coopers care too much about what people says/thinks about them.

She went to the sisters when she was four months pregnant? Did no one know? Wouldn’t she have started to show?

How the fuck did Alice and FP both go to Riverdale High when they were from Southside? Did the school district thing not exist back then?

A: That really depends on the woman, my aunt was already 9th months pregnant with my lil’ cousin and she had a little bump that could very well pass as tummy or bee compleately hiden if she was wearing sweaters, so I don’t think it really showed a not on Alice’s case. I doubt she told anyone but Hal. Well maybe because their parents wanted them to attend RH but I really don’t understand how the whole school district thing works, here in Mexico City we make an application for a certain number of options of highschools we would like to attend, we make an exam and based on the point we make we are accepted or not (the best schools have a higher requirement) so if anyone under stands how it works please explain it.

Does Jug not have his cellphone anymore? Why is he always calling people from phone booths?



A: Yes he does, in episode 12 at the beginning Archie tells Betty he is been calling and sending him texts, what I think is that more often than not he doesn’t have the money to afford a plan or credit and he uses the booths instead.

Do those Serpents all know Juggie from before? (Sidenote: He didn’t know Joaquin and Joaquin seemed to be FPs most trusted sidekick)

A: I don’t think so, Jughead never really approached his dad when he was with the Serpents and 'til episode 13 we have no interaction with Jughead and the Serpents, probs FP wanted to keep his son out of all that stuff.



Why the fuck did they not call 911 when Cheryl was drowning and decide to just ineffectively scream into space?

A: The moment they realized what she meant to do they were horrified they had no way of knowing if it was too late or if they could still save her and their frist instinct was to look for her, then it was a matter of acting as fast as they could to save her, who knows how long it would have taken anyone to arrive?





Did Hermione say something to Cheryl after Ronnie left? Is that why she decided to burn Thornhill?

A: I don’t think so, she and Ronnie were going to go to the Jubilee and what would she tell her 'Burn'em all!!!’ like mad King Aerys?? Nah, besides deep down Hermione must know it’s not Cheryl’s fault what her parents did to Hiram.





How much is FP still not telling? (I don’t buy that Jason came to peddle drugs for him, I still think he asked his help to expose his dad, Jason planned on getting kidnapped and they were planning to get a confession on tape, but things went horribly wrong and FP is languishing in jail because he feels morally responsible for what happened to Jason)

A: I actually do believe Jason went to FP as he says in his statement, making a lie believable implies mixing up some truth in there, and of course he ended up taking the whole blow for Clifford’s crime, and I genuinely think he said all he knows he has no reason left not to, Cliff is dead and Jughead is relatively safe, but him being in jail is finally attoning for all his bad decisions as he tells Juggie and is another step in his path of redemption/cleaning up his act for good.



Why the fuck did no one think to stay with Cheryl after she fell in the river? (They should’ve taken her to the hospital and left her there. Archie went there for his hand, didn’t he?)

A: I think it was Cheryl herself who refused their company, her near death experience and her creepy Jason vision must have given her the idea of burning down Thornhill as a rebirth and purifying action, still I’m guessing at least Verónica stayed with her to make sure she warmed up and that she was gonna be okay.



What did Fred mean when he said Hermione was at a crossroads too? Like she had to choose whether to be good or evil??

A: I think he said so because Hermione has the option of being honest and make the right decision or go back to be a shady business-woman along her shady husband.





WHY THE FUCK DID THE SERPENTS HAVE TO CHOOSE THAT EXACT MOMENT TO KNOCK ON FPs TRAILER??? (15 SECONDS INTO THE HOTTEST MAKEOUT I EVER SAW AND SECONDS AWAY FROM JUGGIE’S HANDS AND LIPS TRAILING OVER LORD KNOWS WHERE NEXT!)



A: Well of course was to stop Jughead and Betty from going all the way and set-up the conflict/tension between them in season two, but from the show’s perspective IDK WHY PRECISELY THEN!? SURELY THEY COULD WAIT TIL MORNING TO GIVE HiM THE JACKET!!!

Where the fuck were these Serpents when Juggie was alone and homeless? Plus they trashed the only place he called home and earned a living at with FP as their ringleader?



A: Because yes Jughead was FP’s son but he was not a part of them, of the Southside community, also if FP was okay with it why the hell would they intervene in his personal stuff.

Just how pregnant is Polly?

A: So presumably she was one month or so in July, next hint we have is on episode –: the maple tapping, according to my research the maple syrup season starts in February so by then Polly is 8 months along give or take (she can be Seven) so the mystery of Jason must have been resolved in a month or less and we’ll surely see her giving birth to the twins next season (that s if the writers don’t play along with the timeline)

Also I almost broke my FUCKING head trying to figure out how the tapping (February) was the episode before Juggie’s birthday (October) but then I remembres RAS saying that was kind of a stand alone episode and maybe that’s why it doesn’t fit the timeline.

Anyway I tried.

How the fuck is Hermione mixing alcohol with Valium? (Sounds really dangerous)



A: It is pretty damn dangereous, mixing them can produce:Confusion,disorientation,accidents,sedation,stumbling,ddizziness,nausea,loss of consciousness, adicction,brain damage,coma and death.

What makes me uncomfortable is how flippant Veronica sounds about her mom doing such a dangereous thing (I get it she is angry but this is very serious stuff) and goes on her merry way to fuck Archie like maybe check up on your mom frist????

What the fuck was the “something serious” Fred was gonna say to Archie at Pop’s at breakfast? (It sure as hell wasn’t about staying away all night, cos he seemed pretty chill with that)

A: Fred is always super chill about Archie’s sexual exploits tbh, I think he was gonna talk to him about Hermione trying to buy his share and about Hiram.



Why the fuck did Fred get up from his booth to face the gunman?

A: To divert the attention to himself and avoid Archie trying to be the hero (he shakes his at Archie, he ignores his dad and tríes to make a movie and then Fred stands up).



How the fuck did Fred manage to get shot when we saw a moment ago that the gun was pointed at Archie?

A: Well Fred is Archie’s dad, he must have jumped to protect his son, adrenaline can make you move real fast.



What about those fucking guns? Grundy’s, Alice’s and now the gunman’s? Are they the same? Are they different?

Who the fuck sent the gunman?

A: I found a clear picture of Grundy’s and Alice’s and they are indeed different, even if they are both revolvers, Grundy’s looks a bit older and from the design I think it’s a Colt, the muzzle of Alice’s gun is slightly larger and hers looks like a Smith maybe. i couldn’t find a good picture of the gunman’s weapon so I can’t be sure the model or type of handgun it is, but it’s most definitely different from Alice’s or Grundy’s. I don’t think anyone sent him, as Juhead said this was the final nail on the coffin of Riverdale’s innocence/safety, when there are conflicts/tension in a community crime is sure to follow.



Where did all that money come from, that was strewn on the floor next to Fred as he lay bleeding?



A: It was some of the money the gunnman tried to steal, I mean he had Pop at gun point and only one free hand to get the money into the bag, and he was crearly trying to hurry up, so after he shots Fred he gets scared (which probably means he is not a very practised thief) and runs with the money he has leaving on the floor the rest.

Wow so this is pretty long but I hope y'all find it not so boring. I would like to read more theories from the fandom guys!!

[tessatechaitea]

New Super-man #8

With an entire Bat-school full of Bat-men (Bat-mans?), Yang is probably going to turn Chinese Bat-man into Kenny from South Park.

I don't know if that's a better question. It's just a different way of answering it.

• Hmm. I probably didn't have to mention the bowel movement, did I? Because of the way I comment while I read the comic book, I tend to forget that this blog entry isn't going out live. • Back to the Kenan versus the ancient prophetic text made into a man, Kenan decides to move his qi up from his fists into his ears. That's so he can hear where Master I-Ching both is and is not. It's ancient Chinese wisdom. • Speaking of Ancient Chinese wisdom, has Archie McPhee never sold fortune cookies with Sun Tzu quotes in them? That seems like a bajillion dollar idea! Imagine opening a cookie after dinner and reading, "Invincibility lies in defense, the possibility of victory in the attack." That's already better advice than any regular fortune cookie I've ever eaten!

Although this one was pretty good. The Non-Certified Spouse's mother once got this one at a Chinese restaurant in Lincoln, Nebraska.

• Um, anyway, when Kenan moves his qi up into his ears, he begins to hear all of the noise all over the neighborhood around him. One of the things he hears is some kid bouncing a basketball. FUCK YES! That is one of my top hated sounds coming in through the walls of my house when I'm trying to write and I don't even have super-hearing! I just want to go outside, snatch the neighbor kid's basketball out of his sticky hands, and kick it over the roof onto the next block. The only reason I don't is I know that kid will soon be a teenager and he might stab me. • Wanna-Be-Bat-man of China loses the fight even though he conspired with Alpaca to rig the contest. So now he's decided to threaten the life of his schoolmaster by putting a Bat-Grapple up to his head. That seems wrong but I don't know anything about Schoolmaster O so I'll withhold my judgment. Schoolmaster O might be a huge prick. • It doesn't work. Baixi, Bat-man of China, saves the day and remains Bat-man of China. I wonder if there will be a Manbat of China? See how I left out the dash in the same way they've been putting in a dash for the Chinese versions without one? Clever! • I just wrote "clever" about something I just wrote. I also constantly call myself a Grandmaster Comic Book Reader. I wonder how many people are turned off by the seeming arrogance and completely miss the joke of it all? Dum-dums! • Once Kenan invokes his super-hearing, he hears a kid about to be hit by a truck and ditches the fight to save the day. But in saving the kid, the driver of the truck is grievously wounded. So he rushes him to hospital and heads off to pout at a nearby shrine. Master I-Ching catches up with him there. Probably to punch Kenan one more time and win the fight. • Alpaca winds up being Jiali, Bat-man's sister. She is tired of being controlled by China and all things communist. She's not even fighting for democracy! She's just an anarchist and my heart is suddenly pittering and pattering all over the place. Alpaca is the real hero! • Oh, also she escapes to be Bat-man of China's Jo-ker. But named Alpaca. • Master I-Ching doesn't punch Kenan in the nose and gloat and do a little blind man dance. Instead, he tells Kenan why Kenan has an octagon on his chest. And he explains Superman better than about 90% of all writers who have ever written Superman.

Never mind the third interpretation. It's not nearly as clever as the totality of this page.

• That previous page didn't make me cry but it has come closest to any comic I've read in a long time. It got me right in the belly trigram and the eye trigram. • After a moment of showing what everybody is doing during the Year of the Rooster celebration, there's an epilogue. Somebody identified as Super-man Zero, locked away in the Crab Shell, is approached by a mysterious figure who claims to be the reason for Chinese super-heroes. The final page identifies this mysterious stranger and...um...well, uh. See for yourselves!

Whew. I'm glad a genius grant Chinese American is tackling Ching Lung but I'm nervous about the comments I might make!

• I can't believe Ching Lung isn't in DC's late eighties Who's Who! They were trying to erase history, weren't they?! • Seriously, though, I'm super excited about Gene Luen Yang taking on this story. I'm a huge fan of people examining the racist history of popular entertainment, talking about it in a frank and honest way, rather than pretending it never existed. And I especially like when a company decides to tackle it in-house. I'm sure DC Comics had to be nervous about this whole thing but if they didn't kill the idea, I can only imagine Gene Luen Yang (who has been writing the fuck out of this comic book (that was a compliment!)) will have some insightful and thoughtful opinions on the subject of Yellow Peril characters. • Speaking of race in popular entertainment, I watched some thing on PBS last night with George Takei and Nichelle Nichols discussing Star Trek and how it was such major social commentary to have a diverse cast of characters in charge of the Enterprise. This made me reflect on watching the show as a kid. Something that was such a major issue when the show was produced in the sixties meant nothing to me in the late seventies or early eighties, whenever I began watching it. The diversity of the crew didn't have any kind of impact on me at all. That's encouraging, right? I know I grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area which is probably the bubbliest bubble of all the bubbles (according to people who think embracing diversity and difference in others is somehow abnormal) so that's probably part of it. After school on KTVU, there were shorts produced by the television station between shows that showed non-white children living in the city that would end with the kid saying, "I'm proud to be a Chinese American!" Or "I'm proud to be a Black American!" Representation and diversity isn't just important for children who identify with the diverse characters in popular entertainment. It's also important for the white children to see that we're all a part of everything. We're all piloting the Enterprise to the future. Although what was meant to be a five year mission has gone ten times as long. Get it together, you non-bubbled bubbleheads. The Ranking! +2! It gets +1 for just being an overall well written book with great characters. It gets another +1 for the insight into Superman. Still my favorite comic book, beeyatches!