#he never lives down the ‘I attack the helecopter’ moment

[dark-elf-writes]

DM: Two guards stand in front of a large window panel, each wearing shinra trooper gear. Their helmets have been knocked astray from the earlier encounter so when you look in their eyes you can tell there’s-

Aerith player cackling: lust! They just saw blondie over here practically finger his bike’s clutch, it’s gotta be lust.

Cloud player: …I throw my sword at them.

DM: A-are you sure? When they saw you their weapons lowered just a little and you can tell they probably won’t attack you.

Cloud player: I. Throw. My. Sword.

DM whose plan to hint that cloud wasn’t actually a SOLDIER by having the troopers recognize him immediately backfired: Just roll •_•

Cloud: nat 20

DM: we’ll fuck. Tell me what you’re going to do.

Cloud player: I throw my sword between the two guards but as it’s passing by them the camera zooms in on the blade cutting a little bit of hair off both off the guards before it slams into the glass making little pieces of glass shatter onto the highway bellow.

DM: okay…I hate to ask this, but is that it?

Cloud player: nay, nay my friend. Because you see, you just fell for my trap. By saying “okay” to my description of what happened you just solidified the layout of the building-

DM: oh fuck

Tifa player: oh fuck!

Cloud: -which means there’s now canonically a street right below us and we can simply drive out the now broken window :)

The DM slamming his head on the table as he once again activates Cloud’s player’s trap card to allow him to do something over the top and physics breaking again to reassert that he is in fact the main character.