#he never does a selfless deed while on earth

[ryukisgod]

[jaijaitbinks]

Im feelin' sick af today so I decided to stay home. But I didn't wanna just sleep all day, so I've been making my brain come up with AU ideas + plots for them, and the ones I've come up with are making me feral. And I have a top 3.

The Prince!Saitama, Knight!Genos AU. I've mentioned this one before but never went too in depth with it. There's a whole plot to it, but also some little filler ideas that could work as like. A little extra chapter thing, or an adjacent one-shot. The plot itself is that Saitama and Genos have to go around the Four Kingdoms (each OPM Hero Class is made into a kingdom, and each Rank 1 of each class is the ruler of them. Saitama is the prince of the S-Class kingdom (not actually the name)) and convince the kings/queens to band together before Saitama's parents initiate a war against any of them (as they were planning to do so at the start of the story). All the while, Genos and Saitama are figuring shit out in every sense of the word—how to go about their relationship, Genos' past, who and what the hell Saitama is (cuz shit gets bonkers with him)—all while defending civilians and trying to get those kingdom rulers to shove their pride and work together for like. A month or two. Saitama also plans to dethrone his parents in some way that doesn't involve an assassination, because he wants to fix the mess his parents made and are leaving him to deal with after they pass.

Medusa!Saitama and (sorta) Perseus!Genos. The story of Medusa is, for the most part, is the same for Saitama (won't go into detail because the story has very heavy topics). The only difference is the interaction with Perseus (Genos), which doesn't result in Saitama being killed. Instead, there's an exchange—a deal between them both. This deal was made partially because Saitama was kind and shielded Genos from his curse by closing his eyes, a very blatant expression of peacefulness and trust, and partially because Genos almost instantaneously fell in love with him despite his monstrous features and did not wish to hurt him. The deal was that Saitama promised to let Genos behead him in exchange that he does not leave him to die alone, with feelings of rage in his body. He did not want to die with hatred in his exhausted soul. (Perseus' story is more significantly altered. He was told to get Medusa's head if he wanted to save his mother and father from Polydectes, not to give him a gift.) Genos, feeling sympathy and affection for him, told him he would not behead him, and instead, he asks that Saitama helps him save his family. Saitama agrees to this, and they leave to Seriphos. Along the way, Saitama helps Genos defeat monsters, like the sea serpent Cetus. Unfortunately, when they arrive to Seriphos, they discover Polydectes killed his parents upon finding out Genos had joined with Saitama instead of killing him. They both kill Polydectes and throw his stoned form into the sea.

And Demi-God!Genos, not-really Folk Hero!Saitama. Genos is a protector of the small villages and people who worship his father (or, really, his father-figure) as not only a show of devotion, but also as a show of heroism. He made a vow to use his acquired divine abilities only for good and protection. Saitama is a unknown folk hero—a man who's done over a million and one good deeds, but no one in the world knows he was the one who's done them. He's revered as a "Mortal Deity," a god who walks the earth to protect humans purely out of the good of his heart and love for the world. And, while he does love nature and he does protect people, he has his own selfish motives. Genos, the demigod who prioritizes chivalry, heroism, and selflessness, admires Saitama, because he, too, believes he's a humble god in the form of an ordinary man. Saitama, when they meet by chance, has to tell him he isn't a god, just a humble mortal. And he doesn't realize he's becomes a demigod, like Genos, until well after he and Genos meet. And Saitama has to learn how to cope with the fact he now has the responsibility of caring for mankind on his shoulders.

[arctic-comet]

Osblaineweek2021, Day 2: Prose

I love book quotes. Looking at quotes is one of my favorite ways to to inspire myself to write more fic.

Here’s a small collection of book quotes (and recs!) of where I’ve “found” June and Nick.

This post contains spoilers for the following books/series:

- Lover Mine by JR Ward

- The Wrath and The Dawn duology by Renée Ahdieh

- A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas

Lover Mine by J.R. Ward

Summary:

John Matthew has come a long way since he was found living among humans, his vampire nature unknown to himself and to those around him. After he was taken in by the Brotherhood, no one could guess what his true history was- or his true identity. Indeed, the fallen Brother Darius has returned, but with a different face and a very different destiny. As a vicious personal vendetta takes John into the heart of the war, he will need to call up on both who he is now and who he once was in order to face off against evil incarnate. Xhex, a symphath assassin, has long steeled herself against the attraction between her and John Matthew. Having already lost one lover to madness, she will not allow the male of worth to fall prey to the darkness of her twisted life. When fate intervenes, however, the two discover that love, like destiny, is inevitable between soul mates.

It's basically a paranormal love story between two warriors. He's really young (although he's actually a reincarnation of a very old vampire warrior, but he doesn't know that), and she's like 300 years older than him. In this book, she's been raped and abused by a guy who also used to bully him. She escapes, but he saves her life. She's hungry for revenge and wants to die after achieving that goal, but of course eventually changes her mind. In the end he actually serves her rapist to her on a silver platter so that she can kill him (sound like anyone we know?). He literally holds the guy down while she kills him.

They're my ultimate favorite ship in this series, and IMO their relationship eventually develops into one of the strongest ones. This series is a bit of a hit-or-miss for most people, because the language and the writing style are pretty ridiculous in all seriousness. If you decide to read this, I recommend starting the series from the beginning because John and Xhex meet for the first time several books before this one, LOL.

Here are some of the quotes that make me think of Nick and June:

“Besides, the story of the two of them was written in the language of collision; they were ever crashing into each other and ricocheting away—only to find themselves pulled back into another impact.” ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine

“As his ears rang and his heart broke for her, he stayed strong against the gale force she let loose. After all, there was a reason why here and hear were seperated by so little and sounded one like the other. Bearing witness to her, he heard her and was there for her because that was all you could do during a fall apart. But God, it pained him to see how she suffered.” ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine

“...the only thing that had tethered her to the earth had been him and it was strange, but she felt welded to him on some core level now. He had seen her at her absolute worst, at her weakest and most insane, and he hadn't looked away. He hadn't judged and he hadn't been burned. It was as if in the heat of her meltdown they had melted together. This was more than emotion. It was a matter of soul.” ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine

The Wrath and the Dawn duology by Renée Ahdieh

Summary:

One Life to One Dawn. In a land ruled by a murderous boy-king, each dawn brings heartache to a new family. Khalid, the eighteen-year-old Caliph of Khorasan, is a monster. Each night he takes a new bride only to have a silk cord wrapped around her throat come morning. When sixteen-year-old Shahrzad's dearest friend falls victim to Khalid, Shahrzad vows vengeance and volunteers to be his next bride. Shahrzad is determined not only to stay alive, but to end the caliph's reign of terror once and for all. Night after night, Shahrzad beguiles Khalid, weaving stories that enchant, ensuring her survival, though she knows each dawn could be her last. But something she never expected begins to happen: Khalid is nothing like what she'd imagined him to be. This monster is a boy with a tormented heart. Incredibly, Shahrzad finds herself falling in love. How is this possible? It's an unforgivable betrayal. Still, Shahrzad has come to understand all is not as it seems in this palace of marble and stone. She resolves to uncover whatever secrets lurk and, despite her love, be ready to take Khalid's life as retribution for the many lives he's stolen. Can their love survive this world of stories and secrets?

This is a young adult fantasy romance, and basically, Khalid is a lot like Nick. He’s made mistakes that he needs to own, but at the same time he’s forced to commit atrocities he doesn’t want to do. He hates himself and doesn’t believe himself to be worthy of love, and yet he falls in love with Shazi. He's viewed as the villain of the story by everyone aside from Shazi and a few other characters until almost the end of the 2nd book.

“I love you, a thousand times over. And I will never apologize for it.”

―Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn

“It’s a fitting punishment for a monster. to want something so much—to hold it in your arms — and know beyond a doubt you will never deserve it.”

― Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn

“When I was a boy, my mother would tell me that one of the best things in life is the knowledge that our story isn't over yet. Our story may have come to a close, but your story is still yet to be told.

Make it a story worthy of you”

― Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn

“In that moment of perfect balance, she understood. This peace? These worries silenced without effort? It was because they were two parts of a whole. He did not belong to her. And she did not belong to him. It was never about belonging to someone. It was about belonging together.”

― Renee Ahdieh, The Rose & the Dagger

“A boy who'd thrived in the shadows.

Now he had to live in the light.

To live . . . fiercely.

To fight for every breath.”

― Renee Ahdieh, The Rose & the Dagger

A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

Summaries:

Book 1

Feyre's survival rests upon her ability to hunt and kill – the forest where she lives is a cold, bleak place in the long winter months. So when she spots a deer in the forest being pursued by a wolf, she cannot resist fighting it for the flesh. But to do so, she must kill the predator and killing something so precious comes at a price ... Dragged to a magical kingdom for the murder of a faerie, Feyre discovers that her captor, his face obscured by a jewelled mask, is hiding far more than his piercing green eyes would suggest. Feyre's presence at the court is closely guarded, and as she begins to learn why, her feelings for him turn from hostility to passion and the faerie lands become an even more dangerous place. Feyre must fight to break an ancient curse, or she will lose him forever.

Book 2

Feyre survived Amarantha's clutches to return to the Spring Court—but at a steep cost. Though she now has the powers of the High Fae, her heart remains human, and it can't forget the terrible deeds she performed to save Tamlin's people. Nor has Feyre forgotten her bargain with Rhysand, High Lord of the feared Night Court. As Feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms—and she might be key to stopping it. But only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future—and the future of a world cleaved in two. With more than a million copies sold of her beloved Throne of Glass series, Sarah J. Maas's masterful storytelling brings this second book in her seductive and action-packed series to new heights.

Fantasy romance with explicit sex scenes, and book 2 is a lot better than book 1. Our main character Feyre falls for a really boring fae guy, but also meets the hottest guy she’s ever known. The first guy of course isn't the real love interest (this is a twist this author loves to do). They all end up as prisoners, and the 2nd guy saves her life when the 1st one is totally useless. He also makes her hate him as he does it because he has to. After getting out, she tries to make her old relationship work, but it doesn’t, and guess who swoops in?

I do see some Nick in Rhysand (in addition to his role in the love triangle). They’re both traumatized and prefer to keep a lot of their feelings to themselves. I also see some of the same selflessness in both of them. Rhysand wants Feyre to choose him because she loves him, but he’s willing to accept that she may not, and doesn’t tell her that they’re pretty much destined to be together (it’s a supernatural thing, and he will suffer a lot if she decides she doesn’t want him).

“Everything I love has always had a tendency to be taken from me.”

―Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

“It took me a long while to realize that Rhysand, whether he knew it or not, had effectively kept me from shattering completely.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

“Regardless of his motives or his methods, Rhysand was keeping me alive. And had done so even before I set foot Under the Mountain.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

“Because," he went on, his eyes locked with mine, "I didn't want you to fight alone. Or die alone."

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

“He thinks he'll be remembered as the villain in the story. But I forgot to tell him that the villain is usually the person who locks up the maiden and throws away the key. He was the one who let me out.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“And I wondered if love was too weak a word for what he felt, what he’d done for me. For what I felt for him.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“I was his and he was mine, and we were the beginning and middle and end. We were a song that had been sung from the very first ember of light in the world.”

― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

[themasterofstudies]

Deconstructing Mormon Hymns #3

Hymn #29

A poor wayfaring Man of Grief

Hath often crossed me on my way,

Who sued so humbly for relief

That I could never answer nay.

I had not pow'r to ask his name,

Whereto he went, or whence he came;

Yet there was something in his eye

That won my love; I knew not why

Basic allegorical song here. A bible story in a song, a way to evoke certain feelings. This verse is pretty benign and honestly, not a terrible way to live your life. Be kind to people without asking for qualifications.

Once, when my scanty meal was spread,

He entered; not a word he spake,

Just perishing for want of bread.

I gave him all; he blessed it, brake,

And ate, but gave me part again.

Mine was an angel's portion then,

For while I fed with eager hate,

The crust was manna to my taste.

This verse...Okay, again, not terrible. Give people food when they are hungry. And, yeah, sharing a meal very often leads to you feeling better with less food. Not bad.

My only hesitation here is that the person gave it all away. This plays on the guilt factor, and the need to share share share, never be selfish. Except, you need food in order to give more food away in the future? If you constantly give, you end up burnt out and feeling terrible for not being able to give any more. Depending on how internalized this gets, its dangerous. I certainly took it to the extreme.

I spied him where a fountain burst

Clear from the rock; his strength was gone.

The heedless water mocked his thirst;

He heard it, saw it hurrying on.

I ran and raised the suff'rer up;

Thrice from the stream he drained my cup,

l Dipped and returned it running o'er;

I drank and never thirsted more.

Again, Take care of other people! Good. Generic. Except, ya know, you gotta put on your own oxygen mask first in order to help the person next to you.

'Twas night; the floods were out; it blew

A winter hurricane aloof.

I heard his voice abroad and flew

To bid him welcome to my roof.

I warmed and clothed and cheered my guest

And laid him on my couch to rest,

Then made the earth my bed and seemed

In Eden's garden while I dreamed

Okay, we get it, selflessness is key. To the point of your own potential suffering.

Stript, wounded, beaten nigh to death,

I found him by the highway side.

I roused his pulse, brought back his breath,

Revived his spirit, and supplied

Wine, oil, refreshment – he was healed.

I had myself a wound concealed,

But from that hour forgot the smart,

And peace bound up my broken heart.

Here's an interesting note about human psychology. We feel good helping other people. We evolved that way, we live in packs and communities. It made sense for survival to evolve that way. And these days, you can see it lacking, and it having an effect on people. This song drives the point home, but in a dangerous way. Never, not once, does it show the protagonist receiving help for what he did. Not that you should expect help from people, but the protagonist gives and gives and gives and gives. No time for himself, no getting help for himself.

Lose yourself in serving others, because if you think about yourself for just long enough, you might realize that it's unsustainable, and when you create a community around unsustainable practices, you don't want people to leave and break the fragile chain.

In pris'n I saw him next, condemned

To meet a traitor's doom at morn.

The tide of lying tongues I stemmed,

And honored him 'mid shame and scorn.

My friendship's utmost zeal to try,

He asked if I for him would die.

The flesh was weak; my blood ran chill,

But my free spirit cried, “I will!”

Double allegory here, makes you feel like Peter. So on top of the imagery we have already sung about, this verse brings in the additional imagery and feelings tied to the betrayal of Christ by Peter. Heavy stuff, right? It is meant to bring to mind the idea that “oh, I would never betray anyone like Peter did! I would DIE for what I believe.”

Then in a moment to my view

The stranger started from disguise.

The tokens in his hands I knew

The Savior stood before mine eyes.

He spake, and my poor name he named,

“Of me thou hast not been ashamed.

These deeds shall thy memorial be;

Fear not, thou didst them unto me.”

Okay, allegory comes to a head. You sacrificed all those things for Christ, so you will be remembered by them and supposedly get into heaven. The reward for being a good person.

Not, “hey, you should be a good person to people cuz that's the right thing to do.”

It's “Hey, you need to be good in order to get into heaven, so treat people nicely. And sacrifice yourself and your own wellbeing in the process.”

Historically, this song is older than most hymns, at least that we can definitively place. This song is old enough for the first Saints to know by heart, which means it was taken from other congregations. Late 1700s-early 1800s was prime Puritan and Calvinist time, and those guys were all about minimalism before it was cool, but it had to be for god. The old “Im going to stand at the sink and do dishes and think about my suffering and death, and LIKE IT” mentality. That's where this song is coming from.

Modern discussion around this song is always flavored with modern interpretation and the fact that it was sung right before ol Joe was shot (good riddance). This song is often tinged with sadness and mourning. Suffer everything, including martyrdom, for god and your beliefs.

Musicality it's mournful too. Thought provoking, meant to bring you to tears. Meant to raise the emotional level, which makes you more susceptible to being indoctrinated. This song is often sung either in direct relation to Joe Smith (general conference, talks about it, in videos, etc) who is worshiped just as much or more than Christ (I promise I will drag him when I do praise to the man), or around the Sacrament, when we are supposed to think of Christ and suffering and all the bad things we did during the week and how sorry we were for doing them. Like, internal flagellation and then sing about how you failed to be absolutely selfless to the point of self harm.

TL;DR: Be selfless at all costs, even at cost to your sense of self and well being. Suffering is nice.

[adamarks]

What’s with the scarf: yet another snowbaz meta

aka the long-awaited and much-anticipated knight/dragon dichotomy meta. 

Wanna know that the fuck was up with that scene where simon caught baz’s scarf? Welcome, you’ve found your new home. Let’s go.

Guess who’s back. Back again.

It’s me, bitch. Now here with their 5th goddamn essay on these goddamn books. Somebody stop me I’m a fiend. 

For this one i really do suggest you read my simon is a dragon meta, but if you don’t have time just look at this tweet. 

Now that we have that out of the way. Let’s get started. 

Point One: The Knight

I know what you’re saying, “what? I thought this was about the goddamn scarf? What’s this shit about knights stop.” I tricked you, fucker. The scarf isn’t until the end. (You save the best for last.) 

Simon Snow is the knight in shining armor of the world of mages. He’s given a sword and pointed in a direction and off he marches. He’s the secret weapon. He’s the bomb. He’s the one that came to save us. He’s the one that came to end us all. The poetry of Carry On is that he was the dragon he was meant to slay, and he gave up his “knighthood” (powers) to defeat himself. 

It’s true that Simon gave up his powers, but did he give up his knighthood? In title and in practice, yes, but he still acts the part. Let’s investigate the defining feature of knights: The Code of Chivalry.

To quote this website that words it perfectly: 

“ A Code of Chivalry was documented in an epic poem called 'The Song of Roland'. [...]   Roland was a loyal defender of his liege Lord Charlemagne and his code of conduct became understood as a code of chivalry.”

From The Song of Roland came a listing of chivalrous traits that all knights should strive to have. They are as follows:

To fear God and maintain His Church

To serve the liege lord in valour and faith

To protect the weak and defenceless

To give succour to widows and orphans

To refrain from the wanton giving of offence

To live by honour and for glory

To despise pecuniary reward

To fight for the welfare of all

To obey those placed in authority

To guard the honour of fellow knights

To eschew unfairness, meanness and deceit

To keep faith

At all times to speak the truth

To persevere to the end in any enterprise begun

To respect the honour of women

Never to refuse a challenge from an equal

Never to turn the back upon a foe

This is Simon to such a T that it’s a little bit alarming. Wayward Son is Simon’s struggle to reintroduce himself into civilian life after being a “boy soldier” since he was eleven. He’s a knight whose sword has been taken, armor melted down, and purpose rescinded. 

A knight can’t be a knight when the king’s been killed. Who, then, does he serve? Who, then, does he protect?

Simon has lost his purpose, his meaning. He has these traits that he doesn’t know how to funnel into something else. He’s a chess piece that’s utterly worthless. 

Not only does he feel purposeless, but he also hates an entire side of himself. and that leads us to our next point:

Point Two: The Dragon

Simon Snow was the villain of his own story.

He was his own dragon to his own knight. His own worst enemy. The main conflict of this story is a man vs. himself type. Simon hates an entire part of himself. He doesn’t just hate it, he vehemently denies its existence. 

“I’m not a DRAGON!” (Wayward Son, Chapter 35)

Of course, if you’ve read my wings meta you’ll know that not only is this him denying part of himself, but also his sexuality. And his love for Baz. But Rainbow writes layers upon layers into this delicious parfait, and Simon’s dragon-ness isn’t limited to being his sexuality. This is literature, after all. 

The knight needs to accept the dragon. Simon needs to accept the person that his trauma has turned him into. If you’ve been through any major trauma, you’ll know that you’re different afterwards. You’re still you. All of the most important parts are there- you did make it out alive- but you’re a little bit different. 

You’re more careful. You’re more anxious. You guard your heart just a little more fiercely. You don’t want to let people in quite so easily anymore. 

What is a dragon’s purpose in a narrative? To protect. To guard. To keep out. To keep in. 

The dragon is those behaviors that we learned to protect ourselves in those times of hurt, and while, yes, we need to unlearn some of those behaviors, certain ones may never leave. Once you figure out how to read micro-expressions on an abuser, you can’t just unlearn how to read a face like a book. The issue is figuring out how to manage those habits. How to keep them from hurting others that aren’t going to hurt us. How to... train... our dragons... (I’m sorry it’s my favorite movie.)

So, the dragon is simon’s shadow self and the knight is his light self, yes? Yes. But! Let’s put a magnifying glass up to these two concepts. 

If a dragon’s narrative purpose is to guard, protect, keep out/in, and be defeated, then what’s a knight’s narrative purpose? A knight’s purpose is to guard, protect, save, and defeat. 

These two concepts aren’t wildly different, they’re two sides of the same coin. Simon needs to stop seeing these two sides of him as enemies and instead recognize that they’re good and bad in equal measures. The dragon questions potential dangers; the knight helps all out of the goodness of his heart. The knight obeys blindly; the dragon knows to obey himself first. The knight is selfless in all things; the dragon is selfish and greedy. There are pros and cons to both archetypes. 

But fire and steel? The monster and the hero? How do you reconcile these two concepts? How do they fit into one person?

Well, the answer surprised me too. 

Point Three: Tarot?

I know, I know. Stick with me. I’ll explain. 

In every tarot deck there are the major arcana (unimportant for this meta) and, just like in a regular playing card deck, four suits. Each suit has a king, queen, knight, and page (also like a regular card deck). Each suit relates to an element: pentacles = earth, swords = air, wands = fire, and cups = water. 

We’re going to be looking at the knight of wands. 

He is a knight of fire and passion and spark. He is headstrong, impulsive, and reckless. This card is Simon in his entirety. To drive home my point, let me quote from the guidebook to The Enchanted Tarot by Amy Zerner & Monte Farber:

“The dark [Knight] of Wands rides into view upon his great, plumed charger, carrying a fire-tipped wand. Behind him the gray, dusky clouds swirl like smoke, against which his figure glows like red embers. His journey is carrying him into the unknown but he is a pioneer and filled with energy and excitement. He likes to take risks. An active, unpredictable and competitive disposition drives him forward. He radiates a very masculine energy, full of creativity and passion. His youth, however, sometimes impels him to be quarrelsome or overbearing if he feels his authority and leadership are in question. Somewhat self-centered, he is likely to think he knows a good deal more than he does...”

The knight of wands embodies both that regal nature of a knight and fiery passion of a dragon. Simon needs to stop thinking that these two sides of him are incompatible or that one is lesser. Simon is Simon and he is worthy to be called a knight, even with all of his dragon parts. 

Point Four: Courtly Love 

or maybe not so courtly?

Courtly love was a concept in the knight’s code of chivalry where a knight would pick a fair maiden from a higher status and dedicate all of his great deeds to her honor. Because the catholic church had a tight grip on everyone’s balls, though, this love was not sexualized. Well... it wasn’t supposed to be but we all know how that shit works. 

Agatha was supposed to be the “endgame.” She was Simon’s courtly love. His fair maiden to which he dedicated all of his noble deeds. 

But Agatha didn’t want to be a fair maiden anymore. 

And Simon didn’t love her. 

And then there was Baz’s hankie. 

In most Courtly Love relationships, there was a token bestowed upon the knight by the lady as a symbol of gratitude and affection. This token was, most often, a kerchief. 

I think we alllll remember that goddamn handkerchief. I remember that handkerchief. That handkerchief haunts my dreams.

Simon keeps that goddamn handkerchief in his drawer after he takes it from Agatha. He doesn’t even give it back. He so desperately wants to have this token of Baz’s love. His approval. His friendship. He wants something of Baz’s because he feels like he can’t have Baz himself. Baz is his real unreachable maiden. Baz is the one Simon doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for.

But more importantly, this brings us to the most important point of this meta:

Point Five: The Scarf

“The Mustang sounds like a bat on its way out of hell. And Simon is its getaway driver. Fourth gear on a gravel road, his blue eyes narrowed to slits. My mother’s scarf catches the wind and slips off my head. Snow whips out his hand to rescue it. He glances over at me, for just a second, holding it like a banner.”  (Wayward Son, Chapter 25)

I know I literally screamed the first time i read that. Simon is a knight saving his lady’s favor. 

But it’s not just that the scarf is a favor. Simon always gives it back. You don’t return a lady’s favor. 

“‘Oh, hey,’ he says like he’s just remembered something. He leans back to reach in his pocket, and takes out a wad of blue silk. 

‘That’s my mother’s scarf!’ I reach for it.

He opens his hand. The scarf threads through his fingers as I pull it away. ‘Sorry,’ he says. ‘I forgot it was in my pocket.’

‘I thought I left it in the hotel room.’

‘You did.’

I fold the scarf, gently. Snow watches for a moment, then looks away.”

(Wayward Son, Prologue)

Now, @theflyingpeach (hi bri) pointed out to me that the scarf probably represents Baz’s humanity, what with it being his mother’s and him leaving it at the hotel. And yeah she’s right you can read it as that. (and it’s quite compelling) But that’s another meta for another day.

Today we’re on that good knight shit.

That scarf is Simon’s heart. 

Baz says he always travels with it. He gently uses it to protect himself against the wind. Simon thinks he’s gorgeous when he wears it. Baz keeps thinking he’s lost it...

but he hasn’t. 

He’ll never lose it, as long as Simon’s around.

Go back up and read those excerpts and tell me you don’t want to burst into tears. 

Simon keeps returning his heart to Baz. “I’m broken. I’m bruised,” Simon whispers. “I’m a knight with no sword. I’m a dragon with no hoard. I only have this one last thing to protect, but instead I give it to you. I’d give it to you again, and again, and again. It’s yours forever. Even though I think you don’t want it, it’s yours until you explicitly tell me to take it back. My love is yours for however long you want it, Baz.” 

The handkerchief in Carry On also translates into being Simon’s heart. 

“I go to the drawer where the handkerchief is shoved in with my wand and a few other things, then I wave it in his face. ‘This one.’

Baz pulls the fabric out of my hand, and I pull it back because I don’t want him to have it. I don’t want him to have anything right now.” (Carry On, Chapter 50)

Simon wasn’t ready to give Baz his heart yet in Carry On, but it was still Baz’s. It still had his family crest embroidered right into the material. Simon’s heart has always been Baz’s and Baz’s alone. It’s just that now, he freely gives it. He freely returns it. 

“I’m yours, Baz. I’m yours.”

A knight could not go against his code and cross that barrier to be with his lady. 

But a dragon is selfish. A dragon can ask for what it wants.

And all Simon wants is Baz.

And Baz is just waiting for him to ask.

Thank you for reading yet again! I dedicate this to bri because without her the scarf thing would’ve never dawned on me. Also she kept bitching at me to write this. 

 Check out the mirror meta and food meta while you’re at it.

time for the tagging peeps

@singerofsimplesongs @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @krisrix @pastel-pink-death @lowcalcalzones @godmcfuckindammit @fight-surrender @simonsnoww @rareandbeautifulthing @neck-mole @basic-banshee (i know you’re not super into these but you had an anon about it) @birdybabybird @whitefire17draws @teaandinanity @watfordwallflower @carrybits @slaying-fictional-dragons 

[birdwholanded]

Stealing Buddha’s Dinner and the Buddhist Scriptures review

    Both are interesting books. In Stealing Buddha’s Dinner by Nguyen, the text is divided into chapters based on foods like Pringles, Forbidden Fruit, Dairy Cone, Fast Food Asian, Toll House Cookies, School Lunch, American Meat, Green Sticky Rice Cakes, Down With Grapes, Bread and Honey, Salt Pork, Holiday Tamales,Stealing Buddah’s Dinner, Ponderosa, Mooncakes, Cha Gio. They are vignettes. Stealing Buddah’s Dinner is a memoir and coming of age story. It relates life in Vietnam to life in America in the way that she ventured from Vietnam to start a new life in America. I enjoyed the whole book because of the difference of cultures and culture shock.  It was July 1975 when people were fleeing Vietnam on boats and they were chasing cars to try to escape from the war taking place. People in Saigon knew that the war had been lost and that the children were going to be put into reeducation camps. She was worried that some of her relatives would not get to come to America.  Bich Minh Nguyen immigrated to the United States from Vietnam in the 1970’s fleeing the Vietnam War taking place at the time. She and her father moved to Grand Rapids to start an American life. Her father got a job at the North American Feather. She discusses eating at Dairy Cone, McDonalds, Burger King, having Chef Boyardee meals, vanilla wafers, and typical American food. She talks about having to assimilate in a new way of life and noticing the differences between what she had known to what she has to learn now. Her father does not know anything about how to adapt with learning American customs and the way of life. He has to learn how to navigate through an entirely different world. She and her friends discuss changing their names to American names to fit into the American society better and so people could pronounce them instead of butchering their Vietnamese names. She questions her identity as an Asian American because she idealizes herself to be blonde haired and white like everyone else she sees. She feels like she doesn’t fit in after she first moves to Grand Rapids. She doesn’t know how to identify herself and feels like an outsider. Buddhism plays a role in her upbringing because there was a Buddha statue in her home in Grand Rapids and her grandmother would meditate by it. Her father and grandmother participated in the events at the Buddhist temple and they contributed a lot to rebuilding it and getting new pews for it and creating its new image and identity.       Buddhism is a religion where one seeks Enlightenment and the ways of reaching it. It talks about the various hells one can go to, it discusses if one will get reincarnated as a different animal in the next life. My favorite sections of the Buddhist Scriptures are The Realms of Rebirth, Karma Tales,The Three Jewels, Proving the Buddah, The Ascetic Ideal, The Direct Path to Enlightenment, and Wisdom and Compassion. The three jewels of Buddhism are divided into Buddha, Sangha and Dharma. The Buddha is the fully enlightened one, the Dharma are the teachings expounded by the Buddha and the sangha is the monastic order of Buddhism that practices Dharmas. It then ventures out into the sections Upaya, Shila and Dhyana. Dharma is the ultimate reality. Upaya is defined as being a term used to refer to an aspect of guidance along the Buddhist paths to liberation where a conscious voluntary action is driven by incomplete reasoning about its direction. Shila are Buddhist ethics. Dhyana is the training of the mind commonly translated as meditation to withdraw the mind from automatic responses to sense impressions and leading to a state of perfect awareness. My favorite section of Stealing Buddha’s Dinner was the conclusion because I like how Nguyen went to Vietnam again when she was in graduate school to see her grandmother. She got to partake of Vietnamese food like Cha Gio, which is a spring roll. It is interesting that she gets to appreciate her heritage in her young adulthood. She reconnected with who she really is and where she came from.     It talks about Buddhism. Buddhism deals with the Buddah, reincarnation, nirvana, enlightenment, The Noble Path, etc.  It refers to it in the way that it discusses reincarnation, and where people go when they pass away, if they get to come back again. In Stealing Buddha’s Dinner, Nguyen went to a Catholic school where she had to pray to God, but she did not follow Catholicism. She told the instructor that her household was buddhist and she gave her a letter from her family saying that she could not pray to God anymore. Nguyen was thinking about the idea of reincarnation and if she would have a better next life. She contemplates heaven, hell and nirvana. 1980’s music is referenced in this book, classic or typical American food is talked about. She was delighted to eat out at McDonalds and Burger King.     I relate to this memoir because growing up, my family and I did the opposite of what she did. She appreciated all things American and comfort food because she did not identify with her Vietnamese heritage, while my parents, my brother and I would specifically seek out Asian cuisine like Indian, Thai, Japanese, and Vietnamese restaurants. I was introduced to them when I was nine because there were Vietnamese restaurants by my dad’s work and on the weekends or Friday nights after work, we would meet my dad there sometimes and eat a buhn or papaya salad. My family frequented the Vietnamese restaurant so often that we became friends with the owners. It was a mom and pop type of restaurant with limited seating. It was a small restaurant. My dad got to order special things that weren’t even on the menu. On the wall of the restaurant, they had a whiteboard with daily specials and one of the specials was chickens’ feet salad. I never ordered it but I kind of wanted to see how it would taste. On the wall of the restaurant, the owners would play peaceful scenes from Vietnam on the television and it was interesting for me as a child and teenager to see the different way of life and culture in Vietnam. We are the opposites of her because we are a Caucasian family in America willingly seeking out Asian cuisines, while she comes from an Asian background and wants to eat typical American food. My family does not have any ties to Vietnam but I would like to visit it one day.     She ties her American side to her Vietnamese side and compares the life that her father sacrificed by fleeing Vietnam to coming to Grand Rapids and starting over.     In The Buddhist Scriptures in the chapter of Wisdom and Compassion, I highlighted the text, “Instead, all who traverse the path to buddhahood must develop extraordinary compassion and extraordinary wisdom, yet there is an apparent contradiction between these two. Compassion leads to a dedication to provide assistance to other persons yet wisdom brings the understanding that ultimately there are no persons because there is no self.” I do not understand why the text says that there are no persons because there is no self. I maybe believe that is said because when one loses his sense of self by helping others out all of the time, he doesn’t recognize that he is himself any more because he is not dedicated to his self interests but interested in helping out others. That makes sense when the quote states, “Compassion leads to a dedication to provide assistance to other persons.” One becomes selfless in the pursuit of being compassionate. I also highlighted the quote, “ In his first sermon, the Buddha had described a middle path between the extremes of self-indulgence and asceticism, both of which he had experienced prior to his enlightenment. Here and in other Mahayana sutras, especially those of the ‘Perfection of Wisdom’ genre, the notion of the middle way between extremes is given a more philosophical sense, as an inexpressible reality between the extremes of permanence and impermanence, self and no-self...but emptiness is not an ultimate reality, eternal and autonomous.” (351) She incorporates her Vietnamese roots and culture to the American side to compare the two different ways of life and the differences between the cultures.     The Buddhist scriptures tell different parables and stories about the Buddha and his journey to enlightenment and nirvana. It talks about the different hells and heavens one goes to and it talks about people possibly being reincarnated into different animal forms. It talks about bodies being turned into crows. The Budhist scriptures relate your deeds on the earth to what one will reap in the afterlife.     I like Buddhism as a belief and religious system because of its discussion about karma and how things are interconnected with people’s fates and livelihoods. It centers people to a common good. It talks about inner peace and how one can attain it. Buddhism talks about being peaceful and calm within oneself, growing through change as well. It talks about coming to terms with life events and making peace with them.       The title of ‘Stealing Buddha’s Dinner’ is interesting to me because it ties her religious belief, which is Buddhism, to her heritage, which is Vietnamese to the Vietnamese cuisine. American food is cheap and processed like Hostess’ Twinkies, frozen Kid Cuisine meals, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, etc. It is cheap to produce and purchase, especially American fast food like McDonalds and Burger King.

[teamhook]

A Chapter a Day... Savage Heart CS AU

Yes, a chapter a day.

This story will be finished by the end of the month. :)

A love story between a pirate and his savior. An innocent, beautiful, selfless woman meets a man with no manners, no formal education and not even a last name. Will Emma fall in love with Killian once she discovers that beneath his tough exterior lies a heart-wild, but a heart of gold? This is a Captain Swan AU

Beta-ed by the wonderful @ilovemesomekillianjones

Cover byt the amazing @xhookswenchx​

|AO3| |FFN| previous chapter

|AO3| |FFN| current chapter

Chapter 6: Deception

Milah is looking out the window in her room contemplating her wedding to August which is fast approaching. Her soon to be mother-in-law Cora is preparing everything to make sure the wedding is perfect for her son. Milah knows she has one thing to take care of before she says her I do's. She has some loose ends to tie up.

She enlists the assistance of her trusted maid to ensure that the dalliance with Killian did not leave her pregnant, and to help cover the fact that she no longer has her virtue intact.. In her short stay in Misthaven, she has heard of a healer that can help her with these details. The healer gives her some herbal tea that will solve the pregnancy issue if she is in fact expecting. To cover up the loss of her virginity she is given an animal's blood, the healer didn't specify which and she was not going to ask for specifics. She is not too excited about using it but desperate times call for desperate measures. Milah has all her bases covered. She is ready to become the lady of the manor. To be waited on hand and foot.

As she walks down the aisle, Milah casually glances at Emma. It is not the wedding Milah had wanted, but the look on Emma's face is worth it. Her cousin is such a hypocrite who can't hide her feelings, she's always going on about how truly happy she is about their wedding and how eager she is to finally be able to take her novice vows. All lies, Milah knows it. If only Emma could just be honest and not be a damn martyr, Milah thinks. The vows are exchanged, and Milah really tries to show some excitement..

With her Uncle David still gone and Emma at the convent, Milah decides to ask Snow to come live with them so she is not alone. If she is truly honest, it is a simple tactic to show to her new husband August and his judgmental mother Cora, that she has a good heart, especially since she had heard her mother-in-law only talk praises about Emma. She knows that if it had been up to Cora, August would have married selfless Saint Emma.

Milah settles into being August's wife. She looks at him while he sleeps, he is not Killian, but he will do. She misses Killian though, he was so good at pleasing her in bed, unlike the man that lays next to her. Things could be worse, she could have married beneath her. One of August's redeeming qualities is he enjoys lavishing her with expensive gifts.

Milah smiles to herself, she does love seeing Emma suffer. Days turn into weeks and soon it has been almost two months of marriage. He is dull and he just doesn't thrill her like Killian. Perhaps later she can find someone exciting and take him as a lover. Killian is irreplaceable in that area, pity he got captured, such a waste.

She should alleviate Emma's pain and tell her she truly did her a service by marrying August in her place. She really is not missing out on anything. However, Emma might have been extremely satisfied with having August as a lover, she is so frigid. She wouldn't know what to do with a real man if she ever got one. Milah snickers at the thought.

She walks around the large estate, avoiding her mother-in-law and limiting her time with August as she typically did. She uses the excuse of keeping Aunt Snow company to make sure she doesn't feel unwanted in the household.

One day the unexpected happens. Her maid tells her that Smee is on the outskirts of the estate with a message. Milah thinks it must be a letter from an imprisoned Killian and she quickly sets out to go meet with Smee.

Unfortunately for Milah, as she is leaving, she is seen by Emma who is there to visit her mother. Emma follows her and sees Smee hand her Killian's message. Unbeknownst to Milah, Emma wonders why Milah would be meeting with that man and decides to keep an eye on her.

Milah quickly reads the note and tells an anxious Smee she will go to Killian as soon as she can, but that she needs to be careful.

Flashback - The Road So Far

Killian Jones was the worst human around. The people of Misthaven were in a quandary when it came to the pirate captain. The higher class had quickly labeled him a thief, scoundrel, and the scum of the earth. The lower class saw a completely different man, simply a godsend. More like a blessing in disguise.

In the beginning, after his christening as Captain of the Jolly Roger he had truly earned his devious reputation. He had done it all. Pillaged and plundered without a thought to anyone else's needs. He had eagerly created an image to instill fear amongst his crew and other pirates to stop any mutiny attempts. What better way to control or motivate than fear? He had refused to be underestimated because of his young age.

Perhaps the first reminder of the humanity that still resided within him was a young girl he had met in his darkest time. The young girl's name was Kristinka; she had been orphaned at a very young age as well. Like him, she had no family to help her and was forced to learn to survive by any means.

She had been working in the tavern owned by his friend Tiny. The Golden Goose Tavern was exploding with the excitement of the crew of the Jolly Roger. They had just arrived for a night of celebration, she had offered him services that were not on the menu and he foolishly accepted. It didn't help that his crew had cheered and encouraged the deed.

She was only eighteen years old at the time and that was three years ago. He should have known better. He had just turned twenty-two and was eagerly trying to live up to the image of the pirate captain. Even then he knew he had made a mistake, it was bad form to lay with a lady one had no intentions of loving or marrying. They soon got to know each other better and became friends of sorts.

In the orphanage she had grown up in, there'd been a copy of her favorite book, Peter Pan. Although Tink had never learned to read, one of the nun's used to read to her behind the Mother Superior's back. Killian reminded her of a key character, and she had even given him the nickname Hook. That alone was an indication of how young she was when they first met.

As a boy, he had loved the story of Peter Pan also. He had prayed to be swiftly transported to Neverland to be able to escape his cruel reality. He began calling her Tink, short for Kristinka and for the fairy she reminded him of. She was not happy about the nickname but loved the camaraderie it afforded, she was always pouting when he would call her by that name.

He knew she'd had fallen in love with him early on, but he just didn't see her in a romantic light. She would only ever be a close friend, he could not give her his heart. Meeting Tink made him remember his youth and he soon the lower class saw him in a different light. To the ones that had no savior, no voice, he became their protector. Each time the local law tried to pin any sort of crime on Killian, the locals protected him. He began donating some of his ill-gotten riches to help provide for those who couldn't provide for themselves. He donated to the orphanage anonymously since he knew if the nuns realized where the money came from they would never accept it.

Present

By the time Killian returns to Misthaven months have passed. Bloody Arendelle prison is all Killian Jones can think. Yet he is happier than he has ever been. He has an older brother and soon he will marry Milah. He enters The Golden Goose Tavern with a confidence he had forgotten during his time in prison.

He doesn't even go home once he makes port. He just wants a bit of rum to welcome him home while Smee runs his errand to Milah.

Then he hears the news. "Countess Milah married August Booth," one of the fishermen says and continues with his story. "Her family almost missed out on the opportunity that comes with marrying someone with that name, who knows why the other girl wasn't the one that married him."

His heart shatters and a darkness creeps into him as his elven like ears perk up to that bit of information. At first, he thinks he has misheard… he must have. Milah couldn't have betrayed him like this, wouldn't have, they were to be married upon his return.

He approaches the fishermen and asks, "Oy, August Booth married the Countess Milah? I thought he was betrothed to the other Countess?"

One of the fishermen responds, "Aye, he did. In my opinion, he made the wrong choice, but I am partial to blondes."

"Sorry, mate. I didn't mean to intrude on your private conversation. In my line of work, information is power," Killian says with a smile that doesn't reach his eyes. His jaw clenches as he nods and walks away swiftly. He is angry. He wants to hurt someone; anyone will do at this point.

No, she would not dare betray him. Oh, there will be blood. He wants to inflict the same pain he is feeling. She will pay, they will all pay. He is shaking uncontrollably.

He has no idea how or when he reaches his home. He looks around the room at the mess he's made, glasses and bottles are broken, chairs and the wooden table are overturned, books have been torn to shreds and papers are scattered all over the normally tidy room.

"Smee! Come here!" Killian yells.

The stocky man approaches slowly while playing with his crimson hat. He had heard the Captain arrive and then the noise coming from the little office erupted.

He must have heard about the Countess marrying August Booth. "Sir, you are finally back," Smee says nervously.

Killian rolls his eyes in frustration. "Apparently you are a very observant man Mr. Smee. Now is there anything of importance that you have yet to tell me?"

"Sir, Countess Milah has married August Booth in your absence," Smee says to his Captain. "Sir, there had been rumors of your capture throughout the port cities. We didn't expect to see you again."

Killian smirks and responds, "Aye, I was captured by the Arendelle Navy and imprisoned alongside most of the crew, some were not so bloody lucky. Now, I do not recall any attempt from the lot of you trying to free us."

Smee's eyes go wide open. "Sir, I was told that there had been attempts to sway the authorities but they are not as easily convinced as the Misthaven officials."

"It matters not anymore. How did Milah end up marrying her cousin's betrothed?" Killian is really struggling to stay calm while he waits for the man's responses.

"The true story is not known, sir. All that is common knowledge is that Countess Emma joined the convent and that within a fortnight her cousin had married August Booth."

Killian scratches behind his ear and says, "I will write a message for her that you will figure out a way to have delivered to her. Is that understood?"

"Of course," Smee answers rapidly.

Killian turns to look for some paper to write the message in what is left of his office. The message is simple.

Milah, we need to talk.

KJ

She will know the note is from him and where to go, all that is left for him to do is wait. Several hours pass by the time Smee finally returns.

"It's about time, Mr. Smee. You know how much I abhor waiting."

"Captain getting the message to her was not an easy ordeal. She is living in the Booth Estate; I had to be extra careful," Smee replied as he played with his hat nervously.

Killian nods in agreement, but that didn't mean he had to like it. "Is it fair to assume you have been successful in your task?" Killian asks.

"Of course Sir, I would never fail you," Smee replies.

"Did she say anything?"

"All she said was that as soon as she could get away without arousing suspicion she would make her way to see you, Sir."

"Hmmm, wonderful, how very considerate of her," Killian hisses. "Did she look happy in her new role of wife to Booth? What was her reaction after reading the note?" Killian looks at Smee as he waits for the answer, dread in his heart.

"She seems content enough, she didn't seem unhappy. Though she did seem happily surprised after she had finished reading your note. She will come, I'm sure of it."

"She best not make me wait too long and force me to go looking for her. I'm sure her new rich husband will not like to know that he is enjoying my leftovers. She still has to answer for her betrayal."

Killian had started to lose his temper after Smee said that she seemed content. He'd been under the assumption she had been forced to marry August. The fact of the matter is simple. He knows she enjoys riches more than anyone else he has ever encountered and that reality has made him quickly realize that she may have entered into the marriage quite willingly and all for the wealth.

He'd never felt the need to flaunt his wealth. He'd only used it to his advantage when having the need to bribe some judge or another greedy corrupt official to look the other way, but never to enjoy an extravagant lifestyle.

Killian knew he would never be able to provide her with the riches and comfort that August had surrounded her with. Perhaps if that last venture had been successful he may have been able to compete with Booth's wealth, but now, he couldn't come close. He has wealth but not to that extent. He can give her a reasonable cozy life. She may have accepted that life before but now after having a taste of the lavish life Booth has to offer, he isn't so sure.

The problem is that he doesn't like to share. He is a pirate after all. Once upon a time he had cared for August. The little time he had spent in the Booth Estate as a boy, he had grown quite close to him. Too bad he had taken something that had been his. Perhaps a visit to see Archie for some Intel on August Booth is now in order.

Milah's family was still well respected and had gained some financial stability in recent years. Still, the marriage between Milah and August has benefited them a great deal already.

He has to be tactful in how he does things. He cannot let his anger blind him. He has to be smart about how he handles the situation from now on. He has an opportunity to get Milah back and maybe a small fortune.

They will sail away on the Jolly Roger once everything is over. His hand reaches his trimmed beard and strokes it as he plots and comes to a realization that he could use the friendship they once shared in their youth to get close to August and gain access.

Archie will happily help; he has tried to get him to leave the pirate's life in exchange for an honorable one for so long. He hates the idea of using Archie. Archie has been his only true friend for so long. He had even provided him with the most basic of education.

He knows his crew can help too, they are extremely loyal; but only because of the riches they have acquired since he became their Captain. As long as there is a big payout he can count on them for whatever he needs.

He will not lose his love. Maybe they can make a home in Arendelle with his brother.

Soon he will meet with Milah and let her know of his plans.

Tagging:

@hookedonapirate @kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @seriouslyhooked @profdanglaisstuff @let-it-raines @revanmeetra87 @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @kymbersmith-90 @branlovestowrite @thejollyroger-writer @shireness-says @ilovemesomekillianjones  @thisonesatellite @thesschesthair @winterbythesea @stahlop @resident-of-storybrooke  @superchocovian  @lfh1226-linda @artistic-writer @thislassishooked @shardminds @winterbaby89 @xhookswenchx @ultraluckycatnd @gingerchangeling @laschatzi @wellhellotragic @xemmaloveskillianx @courtorderedcake @pirateherokillian @optomisticgirl @darkcolinodonorgasm @sherlockianwhovian @andiirivera @djlbg @nikkiemms @jennjenn615 @scientificapricot @officerrogers​

[scribbles-by-kate]

What’s my Motivation? Or, when watching The Good Place and Once Upon a Time in tandem informs my understanding of Rumple’s journey

I’ve recently gotten into The Good Place - the show, not the actual heavenly paradise ;p - and something from season one struck a chord with me in thinking about Rumple’s journey. Basically one of the characters realised that she shouldn’t be in The Good Place because all the good she did on earth was based in self interest, or the expectation of a reward, so it didn’t count. She was really being selfish, not selfless, so her motivation was corrupt. She wasn’t doing good for the sake of it: her motivation wasn’t pure.

That led me to thinking about Rumple’s search for the Guardian and his motivation in relation to that. He’s seeking the Guardian so he can unburden himself of the Darkness and be reunited with Belle in the afterlife. In one way, what he’s attempting to do is good. The Darkness is evil and it can’t be allowed to be passed on to corrupt another soul. He wants to end it in a way that no one else has to bear the burden again. It’s also true, however, that the only way he can be with Belle is to unburden himself of the Darkness, so, in truth, everything connects back to his desire to be with Belle.

What if that is a corrupt motivation? What if he realises that he will never find the Guardian because he’s only looking for them because he wants to be with Belle? If the Guardian is pure hearted and good, or is a being of light, is it possible that Rumple’s motivation isn’t regarded as pure?

I think that may be the catch-22 he faces tonight: he wants to be with Belle desperately, but, while his motivation is so self-interested, he will never find the Guardian. Perhaps that’s what leads to his despair in that scene with the parchment and the dagger at the troll statue.

I’ve been saying for a while that I thought he was going to realise he might never get back to Belle, but that he would do good anyway, or, after a moment of darkness, then he would do good anyway, without any expectation of reward for himself: he would do good because it’s the right thing to do. Thus, his motivation would be pure, and, ultimately, he would find the Guardian, or perhaps realise that he had the potential to be the Guardian all along, and then, without ever believing it could happen, he gets to be reunited with Belle after all.

I think the key for Rumple going forward is just to do good. I think that line ‘You know, every time I do good, it just brings me closer to her’ is really, really important. I think that’s actually a clue to us (I’m not sure Rumple even realises its importance, or he does, but he forgets it later, when things get hard again) that it’s Rumple just being selfless and doing good with no expectation of reward that will ultimately lead to his reward. I think once his motivation is pure, once he puts aside his quest for the Guardian and just does good because it’s right, his redemption comes full circle. That, to me, is a completed redemption arc.

I don’t, however, think the show applies that ‘motivation must be pure’ idea to other characters. If it did, then original Hook and Zelena wouldn’t be considered redeemed, and even Regina’s redemption would be iffy, because contributing the final ingredient to Drizella’s curse is still a corrupt motivation to a certain extent, because she dooms an entire kingdom to save her son. It’s not completely selfish, but her love for Henry means it’s not completely selfless either.

But the show doesn’t condemn Regina for that act. Her redemption is considered secure, especially since she’s done a lot of good outside that one thing. She’s made amends in many ways for her evil deeds in the past, especially in making amends to those she wronged most. Hook and Zelena are considered redeemed as well, despite their motivations not exactly being pure either. But then their journeys aren’t as convincing as Regina’s: they’re not actually convincing at all in comparison to Regina’s.

The show is really only applying this idea strictly in Rumple’s case, I think. Why? Because Rumple is something that Regina, Hook, and Zelena are not: Rumple is the Dark One. The Darkness is a corrupting influence. We saw how insidious it was with Emma in season five: the implication is it was the same with Rumple. Belle rounded on the others in 5.6 when she said that he was seduced by the Darkness just the same as Emma. So, because the Darkness is seductive, and insidious, and a corruptive influence, it will ultimately, I think, take someone with a completely pure motivation to destroy it.

I keep going back to this, but Merlin’s suggestion that someone could contain the Darkness and not let it corrupt them may also be important here. If Rumple turns away from self interest, which the Darkness has used in the past to eat away at his soul (remember, he told Robin in 4.17 that his problem was moral, not medical, implying that his soul was corrupt) and does good for the sake of it, because it’s right to do it, then he fulfils Merlin’s prophecy. If his motivation is ultimately utterly pure, then he’s succeeded in not letting the Darkness burn through his soul. And maybe that’s what makes him the Guardian himself: maybe that power has been within him all along. Maybe he just needs to tap into the goodness in him to defeat the Darkness.

I’ve said that Rumple has been a selfish man in many ways, but we’ve also seen him be selfless and noble. I think, for his final redemption to be complete, for him to come completely full circle, he has to be completely selfless: he has to do good without any expectation of reward. If, as I hope, we see his motivation become completely pure, than that will be a complete redemption arc, as well as a satisfyingly epic one :)

[tpanan]

My Sunday Daily Blessings

September 26, 2021

Be still quiet your heart and mind, the LORD is here, loving you talking to you...........

Twenty-sixth Sunday in Ordinary Time (Roman Rite Calendar) Lectionary 137, Cycle B

First Reading: Numbers 11:25-29

The LORD came down in the cloud and spoke to Moses. Taking some of the spirit that was on Moses, the LORD bestowed it on the seventy elders; and as the spirit came to rest on them, they prophesied.

Now two men, one named Eldad and the other Medad, were not in the gathering but had been left in the camp. They too had been on the list, but had not gone out to the tent; yet the spirit came to rest on them also, and they prophesied in the camp. So, when a young man quickly told Moses, "Eldad and Medad are prophesying in the camp, " Joshua, son of Nun, who from his youth had been Moses’ aide, said, "Moses, my lord, stop them." But Moses answered him, "Are you jealous for my sake? Would that all the people of the LORD were prophets! Would that the LORD might bestow his spirit on them all!"

Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 19:8, 10, 12-13, 14

"The precepts of the Lord give joy to the heart."

Second Reading: James 5: 1-6

Come now, you rich, weep and wail over your impending miseries. Your wealth has rotted away, your clothes have become moth-eaten, your gold and silver have corroded, and that corrosion will be a testimony against you;it will devour your flesh like a fire. You have stored up treasure for the last days.

Behold, the wages you withheld from the workers who harvested your fields are crying aloud; and the cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts. You have lived on earth in luxury and pleasure; you have fattened your hearts for the day of slaughter. You have condemned; you have murdered the righteous one; he offers you no resistance.

Verse before the Gospel: John 17:17b, 17a

Alleluia, Alleluia

"Your word, O Lord, is truth; consecrate us in the truth."

Alleluia, Alleluia

Gospel: Mark 9:38-43, 45, 47-48

At that time, John said to Jesus, "Teacher, we saw someone driving out demons in your name, and we tried to prevent him because he does not follow us." Jesus replied, "Do not prevent him. There is no one who performs a mighty deed in my name who can at the same time speak ill of me. For whoever is not against us is for us. Anyone who gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ, amen, I say to you, will surely not lose his reward.

"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were put around his neck and he were thrown into the sea. If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed than with two hands to go into Gehenna, into the unquenchable fire. And if your foot causes you to sin, cut if off. It is better for you to enter into life crippled than with two feet to be thrown into Gehenna. And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. Better for you to enter into the kingdom of God with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into Gehenna, where 'their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.'"

**Meditation:

Do you rejoice in the good that others do? Jesus reprimands his disciples for their jealousy and suspicion. They were upset that someone who was not of their company was performing a good work in the name of Jesus. They even "forbade" the man "because he was not following us". Jesus' reply is filled with wisdom: "No one who does a mighty work in my name will be able soon after to speak evil of me." Are we not like the disciples when we get upset at the good deeds of others who seem to shine more than us? Paul says that "love is not jealous... but rejoices in the right" (1 Corinthians 13:4,6).

Love does not envy others Envy and jealousy, its counterpart, are sinful because they lead us to sorrow over what should make us rejoice - namely, our neighbor's good. The reason we may grieve over another's good is that somehow we see that good as lessening our own value or excellence. Envy forms when we believe that the other person's advantage or possession diminishes or brings disgrace on us. Envy is contrary to love. Both the object of love and the object of envy is our neighbor's good, but by contrary movements, since love rejoices in our neighbor's good, while envy grieves over it.

The love of God frees us from envy and jealousy How can we overcome envy? With the love that God has put into our hearts through the gift of the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). The Holy Spirit purifies our heart and frees us from our disordered passions, such as envy, jealously, greed, and bitterness. God's love is a generous and selfless love which is wholly oriented towards our good. The love that God places in our hearts seeks the highest good of our neighbor. God's love purifies and frees us from all envy and jealousy - and it compels us to give generously, especially to those who lack what they need.

Love gives freely and generously in kind deeds Every one in need has a claim on us because they are dear to God who created them in his own image and likeness (Genesis 1:26-27). God created us in love for love. We are most free and happy when we love as he loves. The love and charitable help we show to our neighbor also expresses the gratitude we have for the abundant mercy and kindness of God towards us. Jesus declared that any kindness shown and any help given to those in need would not lose its reward. Jesus never refused to give to anyone in need who asked for his help. As his disciples we are called to be kind and generous as he is. Are you grateful for God's mercy and kindness towards you and are you ready to show that same kindness and generosity towards your neighbor?

Gregory of Nyssa (330-395 AD), an early church father wrote: "God never asks his servants to do what is impossible. The love and goodness of his Godhead is revealed as richly available. It is poured out like water upon all. God furnishes to each person according to his will the ability to do something good. None of those seeking to be saved will be lacking in this ability, given by the one who said: 'whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you bear the name of Christ, will by no means lose his reward'" (ON THE CHRISTIAN MODE OF LIFE 8.1)

Those who show kindness and charity will be greatly rewarded Who in their right mind would want to lose their reward and then be deprived of joy in the end? We have been given the greatest of rewards - God himself who is perfect love and source of abundant life and unending happiness. Paul the Apostle tells us that "God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit" (Romans 5:5). God's love purifies our hearts and compels us to express kindness and charity towards our neighbor who is created in the image and likeness of God. Do you allow the love of Christ to transform your heart that you may treat your neighbor with loving-kindness and mercy?

Avoiding evil and the near occasion of sin Was Jesus' exaggerating when he urged his followers to use drastic measures to avoid evil and its harmful consequences (Mark 9:42-47)? Jesus set before his disciples the one supreme goal in life that is worth any sacrifice, and that goal is God himself and his will for our lives which leads to everlasting peace and happiness. Just as a doctor might remove a limb or some part of the body in order to preserve the life of the whole body, so we must be ready to part with anything that causes us to sin and which leads to spiritual death.

Jesus warns his disciples of the terrible responsibility that they must set no stumbling block in the way of another, that is, not give offense or bad example that might lead another to sin. The Greek word for temptation (scandalon) is exactly the same as the English word scandal. The original meaning of scandal is a trap or a stumbling block which causes one to trip and fall. The Jews held that it was an unforgivable sin to teach another to sin. If we teach another to sin, he or she in turn may teach still another, until a train of sin is set in motion with no foreseeable end. The young in faith are especially vulnerable to the bad example of those who should be passing on the faith. Do you set a good example for others to follow, especially the young?

Lord Jesus, fill me with your Holy Spirit that I may radiate the joy of the Gospel to others. May your light and truth shine through me that others may find new life and joy in you, and freedom from sin and oppression.

Lord Jesus, fill me with your Holy Spirit that I may radiate the joy of the Gospel to others. May your light and truth shine through me that others may find new life and joy in you, and freedom from sin and oppression.

Sources:

Lectionary for Mass for use in the Dioceses of the United States, second typical edition, copyright (c) 2001, 1998, 1986, 1970Confraternity of Christian Doctrine; Psalm refrain (c) 1968, 1981, 1997, international committee on english in the liturgy, Inc All rights reserved. Neither this work nor any part of it may be reproduced, distributed, performed or displayed in any medium, including electronic or digital, without permission in writing from the copyright owner

**Meditations may be freely reprinted and translated into other languages for non-profit use only. Please cite copyright and original source. Copyright 2021 Daily Scripture Readings and Meditation, dailyscripture.net author Don Schwager

[basicsofislam]

PROPHET MUHAMMAD (PBUH)’s BIOGRAPHY : Time for the Farewell

The day our Prophet delivered his Farewell Sermon, the third verse of Surah al-Maedah was also revealed. It read, “This day I have perfected for you your Religion (with all its rules, commandments and universality), completed My favor upon you, and have been pleased to assign for you Islam as religion. “Upon hearing this verse, some of the Companions understood that this was a kind of sign indicating that the decease of the Messenger of Allah was drawing near, and they cried. Indeed, in very little time, our most beloved Prophet would reunite with his Lord. The Last Prophet, who had been sent as a mercy to all the worlds, was now sixty-three years old. Inflicted with fever, the Messenger of Allah was lying in his bed, burning from high fever. With each day, his illness grew even stronger. In the first couple of days that he had fallen sick, at times when his fever died down, he was able to come to the masjid and lead his Companions in Prayer. One day, when his illness was not so intense, he came to the masjid, stood up on the pulpit, and called out to his Companions,

“O my Companions, no Prophet has ever lived within his community for eternity. Know that one day I, too, will reunite with my Lord. Surely, you, too, will reunite with your Lord one day. The earth shall be left to no one. Every single thing is dependent on the will of Allah. It is not possible to either draw closer or avoid the time that Allah has appointed for us. The place in which we will all meet is by the Pool of Al-Kawthar (Abundant Goodness). Whoever wishes to meet with me by the side of the Pool of Al-Kawthar should protect their hand and tongue and keep them away from evil deeds. O my Companions! Allah has given freedom to one of His servants, to choose between the worldly life and the life of the Hereafter. And this servant has chosen the life of the Hereafter.”

As these words flowed through his blessed lips, Abu Bakr started to cry. He had understood that through these words, the Messenger of Allah was giving them the message of his decease.

Our Prophet reassured him, saying, “Do not cry O Abu Bakr.” Then he said,

“In my eyes, Abu Bakr is the most trustworthy and strong of human beings in terms of his physical and spiritual devotion and selflessness. If I were to choose a bosom friend other than my Lord, I would certainly choose Abu Bakr as my friend. However, from now on, there is only the brotherhood of Islam and the love that is centered around this brotherhood. Even if all doors opening to the Masjid are closed, leave Abu Bakr’s door open!”

It was as though the Messenger of Allah was bidding farewell with his every word. The Companions were all very downhearted and unhappy, and no one could hold back their tears any more.

It was the Thursday before the decease of the Messenger of Allah. His illness had become much more intense by now. There were times when he lost consciousness and fainted. He had fainted once again while the congregation was waiting for him to join them in performing the Night Prayer. As soon as he woke up he asked our blessed mother Aisha whether they had prayed or not. Aisha told him that the congregation was waiting for him, and he asked her to prepare water so that he could make his ablution. However, just as he was about to go out to the masjid for the Prayer, he fainted once again. When he woke up he asked about the Prayer again. He wanted to lead the Prayer, but he was constantly fainting and coming back. Thereupon, he asked that Abu Bakr lead the Prayer. He, himself, came out to pray with the help of two of his Companions. When the congregation saw him, they grew very excited. When Abu Bakr took a step back so that our Prophet could lead the Prayer, the Messenger of Allah signaled for him to stay where he was. With help, he came up to Abu Bakr’s side. Because he had no strength to stand, he completed his Prayer while sitting down.

From that day on, the Messenger of Allah appointed Abu Bakr to lead the Prayers in his place. Still, every day, the Respected Companions waited for him with hope.

They had come to a Monday now. The Monday that fell on the 12th day of the month of Rabi al-Awwal… The Companions had filled the Masjid for the Morning Prayer. The leader of the congregation was Abu Bakr once again. For an instant, there was a kind of activity in the Masjid. The Messenger of Allah had come to the Masjid an-Nabawi. The Companions were just about to end their Prayer because of their joy. They had stood up for the second rakah of the Prayer when the Messenger of Allah arrived right behind Abu Bakr. When Abu Bakr wanted to take a step back, our Prophet touched his shoulder, wanting him to stay there, and he joined in the Prayer from where he sat behind him. After the leader turned and completed the Prayer, our Prophet continued and finished the rakah which he hadn’t been able to catch up to. This had been our Prophet’s last Prayer. As he left the Masjid, he turned to his Companions and said, “A Prophet does not die until one of his Companions leads him in Prayer.” With that he returned to his room.

Sometime later, the sun had risen and it was nearly midmorning. The Messenger of Allah was giving advice to those around him, telling them to work for their afterlife while they still had the chance. Meanwhile, he turned to Fatima, who was crying and shedding tears by her blessed father’s bed side, and said, “My daughter, you must be patient for a while. You must not cry. For the Archangels in the heavens cry when they see you crying.” He wiped away Fatima’s tears, consoled her, and prayed for Allah the Almighty to give her forbearance. Then he said, “O my daughter, every misfortune receives its compliment. From now on, there shall be no sorrow or pain for your father.”

He took his grandsons, Hasan and Husayn, by his side, looked at them with compassion and kissed them on their foreheads. A short while later, our Prophet’s condition started changing. At that moment, the Archangel Gabriel had come and brought news from his Lord.

“You Lord says,” he said, “If he wishes, I will heal him and make him better, but if he wishes, I will take him to My presence and embrace him with My Mercy!” Our beloved Prophet’s response to the Archangel of revelation was, “This is a task which belongs to my Lord. He will do as He wished for me.” Then the Archangel Gabriel said, “O Messenger of Allah! The Archangel of Death is waiting at your door. He is asking for permission to enter. He has never asked for permission from anyone before. And he will not ask anyone else after this.”

Allah’s Messenger gave permission and the Archangel Azrael, upon him be peace, entered. He greeted our beloved Prophet and said, “O Messenger of Allah! The Almighty Allah has sent me to your presence. He commanded me to obey your orders. If you wish so, let me take your honorable soul and lift it to the Sublime Realm, and if not, then I shall return and leave.”

The Messenger of Allah replied, “O Archangel Azrael, fulfill your duty.”

Meanwhile, he stroke his blessed face with his dampened hands and said, “O my Gracious Lord! Help me in overcoming the hardship of death!”

He rested his blessed head on Aisha’s bosom and fixed his black eyes on the ceiling. All the while, he was uttering, “La ilaha illallah (There is no deity but Allah)! Truly, there is serious stupor in death.” He had fainted again. A while later, he came back to himself. Meanwhile, his finger was pointing to the skies. His eyes were directed to the ceiling once again, and his lips were moving. Our blessed mother Aisha hear him uttering these words, “Please forgive and embrace me with Your Mercy, together with the Prophets, the martyrs and the true believers upon whom You bestowed blessings. Accept me to Your highest Companionship! O my Gracious Lord, I wish for You as a Glorious Friend! O my Gracious Lord, I wish for You as a Glorious Friend! O my Gracious Lord, I wish for You as a Glorious Friend!”

This blessed life had started sixty-three years ago, on a Monday, and now it was coming to an end, once again on a Monday. Our blessed Prophet entrusted those after him with the blessed duty of conveying Allah’s message. He was finally able to rejoice in reuniting with his Lord and the Most Beloved.

After the decease of our Prophet, the Muslims went through indescribable grief and shed many tears after him. It was with him that they had seen and learned about everything there was. The world, the Hereafter, the gardens of Paradise, the pits of Hell, hope… It was thanks to him that they were saved from complete perish and abandonment. It was through him that they learned to wish for eternity and not fear death; it was through him that they came to know the Lord of the Worlds. They had been blessed with the honor of spending years by his side, becoming his Respected Companions.

We have never seen him but have lived on with his memories, with him in our dreams. It was he, the beloved Last Prophet, who said, “My brothers will come in the End Times,” and we seek to be of those he calls, “My brothers!” May Allah the Almighty grant us with the blessing of never faltering from the path of our most beloved Prophet in this world and grant us the honor of being with him in the gardens of Paradise.

We are indebted to you and all our gratefulness is upon you. May your intercession be upon us, our beloved Prophet!

[kclenhartnovels]

The Warm Light of Heaven

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For once, the warm light of Heaven was not inviting to Merrick, but instead filled him with a sense of dread that lingered like a wolf in the pit of his stomach. He wasn't even sure why he was so worried—Chael had proved again and again to be a reasonable soul, and he trusted Tyr not to eviscerate Fletcher while he was gone. But that nagging doubt remained chewing on his gut, gnawing away like a snarling hound of Hell with eyes like judgment and teeth like righteous fury.

What if Chael didn't understand?

“You okay, Merrick?” Eztli greeted. She stepped out of one of the training circles, covered in dust and holding a wooden staff lightly in one hand. “You look pale.”

“I'm looking for Chael. Have you seen him?”

“Which is it this time?” she asked with a smile, “Teremun or demons bothering you?”

“I just have something to ask him.”

Her wings fluttered, then folded slowly, unconvinced. “He told me he was going recruiting. Which could either mean he's talking to Teremun about new guardian projects, or he's talking to some other angels to see if they want to get trained. I'm sure he'll be back soon if you want to wait here for him.” She offered him the staff. “You could train with me for awhile?”

He shook his head. “I'll just wait and patch up whoever you bruise later.”

“A medic in three lives, Merrick?” she teased, balancing the staff across the back of her hand. “You know, if you ever grow weary of shepherding souls to heaven, we could use you in the Garrison to keep us patched up. Chael keeps talking about adding a medic to the crew, but I don't think he's found one brave enough to go charging into battle with us.”

“And you think I'm brave enough?” he asked with a smile. “I'm not brave enough to step in the ring with you.”

“There are many different kinds of bravery. They may think me brave to go charging into battle to spill blood, but I don't think it's any less courageous to run into battle to stem it. You stand just as much of a chance of getting killed or injured—more so. A blade defends much better than a medical kit. I don't know that I could do it. Then again,” her smile was that of a jaguar, and a mother, “I have never lived my life without a blade in hand. I'm not sure I would know how to do it.”

Merrick perched on the rail of the training ring, leaning on his hands and watching her with a frown. “You never talk much about your past life.”

She shrugged. “It's not usually a topic of conversation. Most of the other angels are uncomfortable talking to the Garrison about where we came from.” She grinned viciously. “Apparently we have something of a reputation. I've heard plenty of whispers that we don't deserve to be in Heaven, but odd how those whispers die when we walk past. And they are eager enough to send us into battle to protect them.”

“How can they think you don't deserve to get into Heaven? It's not like there are any free passes. I mean, that's why there are guardians, right? To help push people in the right direction—but it's still up to them to make the right choices. The morally corrupt, they won't make it up here. Not on the first try.”

Eztli sat cross-legged in the dirt, resting the staff across her knees and looking up to him. “I wish things were that simple, Merrick. But Heaven is just as political as Earth. Anyone could make an argument that I did not deserve to get up here in my first life, for the lives I took, for living with a man who was not only not my husband, but someone else's husband. I asked Chael about it at one point, and he told me—”

“Entrance into Heaven is not about the deeds that others would judge to be morally corrupt,” Chael finished with a smile, sitting on the fence beside Merrick. “Would you say that piracy is morally adverse?”

“Stealing from others? Yeah,” Merrick answered with a frown.

“What if you were stealing back what was taken from you? What if what you were stealing was human cargo, which you were then freeing? It's still theft, but is it morally wrong then?” He nudged Merrick with his wing, his smile easy. “You see where there is a lot of gray area in the interpretations of Heaven. Eztli is a good person. She is aggressive, proud, intimidating, and fierce, but she is a good person. The decisions she made in life—and the afterlife—are often at the detriment of her own well-being in order to protect those weaker than herself. Sometimes even people she does not particularly like. And not just because I ask it of her, but because she believes it is right.”

“Are you referring to when I saved Teremun?”

Chael smiled. “What prompted this conversation?” he asked, evading her question.

Merrick shook his head. “I was just waiting for you to get back. I wanted to talk to you.”

“I got caught conversing to a very eager young angel who has been listening to too many Garrison stories, I think. I might give you a new sparring partner to see how she does, Eztli,” he added, to which she grinned. “But I'm free now. What did you want to talk about?”

Merrick's wings fluttered nervously. “In private?”

“Of course.” Chael didn't miss a beat, though his gaze lingered on the guardian a touch longer than necessary, as if trying to read his intentions. Merrick felt like a butterfly stuck to a pin. “Eztli, if Dina comes around, put her through her paces, huh? If she lasts a few sparring sessions with you, then I'll see about grooming her to become a permanent part of the Garrison.” He put a hand on Merrick's shoulder to guide the younger angel along with him. “I remember when I had to fight tooth and claw to get any warriors to join me. Now all of a sudden I have volunteers.”

“Why didn't people want to join you before?”

Chael shrugged his white wings. “No one wanted to be associated with the Island of Misfit Toys.”

“The what?”

He laughed. “When I joined the Garrison, we were nothing but cannon fodder for Heaven's armies. A place where the angels who did not really belong went to prove their worth. A lot of us died. Eventually, my commander died in battle, and I stepped up to replace him. I've been able to change things over the years, and we've gone from the expendable ones to Heaven's elite fighting force.” He paused. “Not everyone is happy with that change, but—” He smiled, and said nothing more on the matter, despite Merrick's quizzical expression. He turned towards one of the many walled gardens of Heaven, stepping over a trickle of silver water. “What did you want to talk about?”

Merrick sat down beneath the twisting branches of a tree, its leaves pale yellow and each one tipped in violet blossoms, so that if he looked up through the canopy it seemed to be burning a deep fire. Warmth emanated from the trunk. He pressed his wings against it. “Redemption.”

“You finally made it into Heaven, Merrick,” Chael teased. “You're set.”

Chael's smile was the lighthouse in the storm, and finally the knot in his stomach eased. He sagged back against the tree. “Has there ever been a demon that's made it to Heaven?”

“Yes.” He rested his hands on his knees, watching Merrick closely. “Though not easily, and not without good reason.” He opened his mouth to say more, then seemed to decide against it. “Is this about the demon that Eztli chased away from you?”

He felt such heat rise in his cheeks, and he wished he could blame it on the comforting warmth of the tree at his back. “His name is Fletcher.”

Merrick didn't know what to expect from Chael, even if he had thought about this encounter over and over again. Maybe the Viking would explode in anger, demand to know where this demon was hiding so he could put him down for good. Maybe he would be empathetic, and immediately grant Fletcher the wings Merrick knew he deserved. Maybe he would outline a detailed plan that would involve the whole Garrison, if not the whole of Heaven, to break Fletcher free from the chains of Hell. Maybe he would scoff and call Merrick a child. A thousand different scenarios ran through his head, but instead of any of those, Chael just watched him with a little frown between his eyes, and waited for him to go on.

“He's—” Merrick groped for the words, using his hands for emphasis, as if they could do the pleading for him. “He's a good person, Chael. He's kind, and gentle, and confused. I don't think he deserves to be in Hell. Maybe he's not good enough for Heaven yet, but he isn't evil, or conniving, or—he at least deserves the second chance that I got. I believe in him. I care about him. I lo—” He snapped his mouth shut, and felt his face flush a deeper red.

“Merrick,” Chael sighed, and rubbed at his face a moment. “You know I spend a lot of time in the Library, reading about who the angels in Heaven used to be when they were mortals. I do this to better understand them, especially those in my Garrison, or those otherwise in my radar.”

“Are you saying I'm in your radar?” he asked meekly.

“You are a good medic, Merrick, but maybe not the best guardian.” He held up his hand to stop any protests. “The reason it took you two lifetimes to get to Heaven is not because of your heart. You are selfless, you are brave, and you earnestly want to do what is best for everyone. But you want to help and love everyone so badly, you blind yourself to who they might really be.”

“Chael—”

“Let me finish,” he soothed. “If it had been my decision, I would have given you one more life to lead, one not in a time of war. You need to learn what it's like to be in love and have a relationship, so you stop handing your heart out to every pitiable case with pretty eyes. Let me finish,” he added again when Merrick's mouth opened. “You have a bad habit of falling for the enemy. And I know that this is because you see the good in people, past who they are fighting for. But you're exposing yourself to more danger than I think you realize. Maybe this Fletcher is really worth redemption. It's very likely that he doesn't belong in Hell, but that doesn't necessarily mean he belongs in Heaven.”

“I know what love is, Chael,” Merrick snapped at last.

“You know what it's like to be enamored,” he corrected. “You have no idea how to be in a relationship, to compromise, to love through whatever happens. That's an important thing to learn. I don't doubt that you're capable of it, but I'd hate to think that this demon is just taking advantage of your good nature because you don't know any better.”

“And you're such a good judge of it?” Merrick was sure his heart was going to beat out of his chest, or fire was going to shoot from his ears, or the beast in his stomach would finally tear its way free. He made to rise, but Chael put a hand on his arm, easing him back down.

“I am not trying to make you angry,” he coaxed. “I just want you to think about this a bit more. I will help you, and I will help you keep your secret until we're both sure of Fletcher's intentions.”

Merrick sank back down, his wings trembling. He felt sick, but the fire had died and the beast settled to a low growl. His mind wouldn't stop churning, from the light of Heaven to the demon he had left on the beach, to love and affection, to everything he knew about Chael and the rest of the Garrison, clinging to the knowledge like a weapon. There had to be a way to convince Chael that he was right. “Tyr is your son, right?” he asked after a long silence.

“Yes. Why?”

“Where is your wife? Why isn't she here with you?”

The way Chael's face twisted, Merrick immediately regretted the question, but the older angel answered it anyway. “Souls are complicated, Merrick,” he whispered. “And you don't know everything yet about Heaven and Hell, and which souls are left to reincarnate again on Earth. Now is not the time to discuss it.”

“But I need to understand it, if I'm going to help Fletcher.”

Chael shook his head. “Let's first see if this demon is who you think he is. And if he really wants to be saved.”

“Of course he wants to be saved!”

Chael stood at last, folding his wings. “Just promise me you won't rush into anything, Merrick. And keep me informed as to what's going on, okay? I'm going to go talk to the rest of the Garrison to make sure they don't swoop down and stab him while you're talking with him—or whatever else it is you're doing.”

Merrick snapped his mouth shut quickly, and hugged his knees to his chest. “Tyr is with him right now,” he muttered.

“I'll check in. Stay here and think about it for a little while, huh? Whenever you're ready to go back to Earth, go back down. We'll keep an eye on him until then.”

He nodded numbly, watching Chael leave with that twisting feeling in his stomach remaining. What if Chael was right, and he really was just an assignment?

He couldn't believe that, not after seeing Fletcher like this. Really seeing him, uncertain and afraid. And with all the seals he had placed in the bunker, how could he be checking in with demons anyway? Fletcher wanted to be saved. He wanted to get to Heaven, to get away from the life he was living now.

And Merrick wanted him to be here. Maybe Chael was right about never learning about love and a relationship, but wasn't Fletcher this chance to have it at last? Who else up here would give that to him? He hugged his knees tighter against his chest, swallowing the doubt.

Why wouldn't Chael tell him everything about souls, though? What hadn't Teremun taught him when he first started getting his assignments?

“Are you alright, Guardian?”

The voice was enough to give Merrick chills, and he jerked so abruptly he smacked his wings against the trunk of the tree, showering himself with violet petals. The voice was that of Heaven itself, powerful and permeating, a heavy blanket that could comfort or suffocate, and Merrick found himself choking on his own breath as he looked upon Michael for the first time.

Well, it wasn't really the first time he had seen the archangel. He had heard Michael speak when addressing a crowd of angels, and seen him at a distance, on a pillar and an all-consuming presence. But this close, within arms' reach, Merrick was at a loss for words.

Michael's wings were so large they brushed the ground when he walked, supported by broad shoulders and magic that seemed to pulse just under his skin, almost glowing through the curve of each muscle. His dark hair framed his face like the shadows from moonlight, and in his eyes was the stars, the sun, the light of Heaven. The light that was right now focused on him in soft concern.

“I'm alright,” Merrick croaked at last, pressing his back against the tree.

Michael crouched in front of him, resting his hand on the angel's knee. “Clearly you aren't. What has upset you?”

The touch was electric, and he felt the knot in his stomach unbind at last. He took in a deep breath, looking down at the archangel's fingers, then finally back up to his face. He uncurled a touch, and wondered when the words left his mouth. “I'm tired of being treated like a child.”

Michael chuckled, and sat down across from him, hardly seeming as if he were touching the ground. “You are but a child still compared to many here. Is there something you want to talk about?” His hand found Merrick's, and the angel felt like stars slid into his veins.

Merrick shook his head quickly. “I should get back to my work. I've left Abby alone for too long.” And Fletcher, for that matter. He couldn't let Michael of all people find out that he was flirting with a demon. What would the archangel think? What would he do?

Michael's smile sent his feathers tingling. “You're a good guardian, Merrick. Your job is the most important of Heaven. Don't let anyone make you feel inferior. You are the shepherd of souls, and it is souls that make Heaven strong. Remember that.”

He nodded quickly, and stood so abruptly he nearly hit his head on a low branch. It wasn't until he retreated back to the beach, collected Fletcher, and curled up with him in the bunker that Merrick wondered when Michael had learned his name.

[For more information about the characters, series, and more, click here.] [ Previous | Next ]

[ihamtmus]

He used his brilliant mind, his superpower, >> to kill people. Tony is the biggest villain of the MCU. He is the Donald Trump of the MCU!!

Youcome into my inbox, you disrespect my man Tony Stark… and I could be angry with youbut, to be honest, your message made me very happy. Guys! The day has come! Igot an anon message telling me that Tony Stark is a villain and I am now officiallya member of the Tony Stark Defense Squad! So, even though it may be wiser toignore this message, I decided to celebrate by actually answering it.

“Heused his brilliant mind, his superpower, >> to kill people.”You quoted my post herebut you changed the ending. The result is quite ridiculous, if I may say. (Forthose who don’t want to read the post I linked, we’re talking about Ultron here).Look, English is not my mother tongue so forgive me if I’m wrong but I’m prettysure that the grammatical construction “to do something” implies an intentionbehind the action. If I go to the shop to buy an apple, I go there in order to buy an apple, with the intention of doing so. I’m sorry,are you a native English speaker? If you’re not, that could be an excuse, but youcan’t possibly think that Tony’sintention there was to kill people.What was Tony’s intention when he decided to create Ultron? (I’m not going tosay “when he created Ultron” because it would be a blatant Bruce Banner erasureand also Ultron kind of created himself, the AI was already in the stone andall. And we can’t forget about Wanda. Let’s not discuss it here). It’s veryclear in the movie. He did that to protect the Earth and everybody on it. Wandaplayed with his mind and we could see his fears: his friends dead and the Earthinvaded. He did what he did to preventthat from happening. He did it to protectpeople, not to kill them, anon, you can’t possiblyfight me on that, you just can’t.

“Tonyis the … villain of the MCU.”Now the second part of your message. It’s not less ridiculous, but far more oftenbelieved in than the first. It’s really weird that some people think Tony is avillain. Let’s check what the word “villain” means, shall we?villain - (in a film, novel, orplay) a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot (source)Now, I agree that Tony’s actions and motives are important to the plot but I’mafraid you missed the “evil” part of the definition.Tony has made some mistakes, yes. But is a mistake an “evil action”? Isn’t anintention to harm necessary for an action to be considered truly evil? I thinkthat the “evil action” and “evil motives” are connected. Creating Ultron was amistake but it was not an evil action, for it was done with a pure motive. Youcan point out Tony’s mistakes all you want (he’d gladly do that himself), butyou cannot question his motives. All this man does, he does to protect others.

Let’s take a look at the definition of the word“hero” now.hero - a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, ornoble qualities (source)If you’ve seen any of the movies you’ll have to agree that Tony has courage and,in fact, lots of it. There are more proofs of that than I am in the mood tocount right now. Just to name a few situations… escaping from that Afghanistancave, saving civilians from terrorists while being a civilian without anytraining himself, stopping a crazy guy with electric whips without a suit,chatting with Loki, fighting aliens, flying a nuke into a portal, going to killa terrorist with homemade weapons, being part of the Avengers who fight aliensand crazy robots on a daily basis… like okay I’m going to stop now but I hopeyou can see that Tony is no coward. A coward would never become Iron Man. Gosh,a coward would have built the JerichoMissile for the terrorists and died in that cave to begin with. Well, atleast you wouldn’t be calling him a villain now.

But Tony’s courage is even deeper than doing thosebrave deeds. It’s about falling and rising. It’s about getting out of that caveand changing his whole life for the better. It’s about realising the harmcaused by his weapons and shutting down the weapons division. It’s about beingbetrayed by people who were close to him but still choosing to trust others. It’sabout being told he’s not fit to be a hero but being a hero nonetheless, everyday. It’s about creating Ultron (yes, that) because he refused to stand back andlet everyone die. It’s about not curling in a ball and crying out of the agonyof remorse when Ultron went crazy, even though it would’ve been so much easierthan doing everything in his power to clean up that mess. It’s about going on,every day, even though he blames himself for everything bad that happens. It’sabout trying to make up for it, for all his mistakes, and for the mistakes ofothers.

On to the next part of the definition. I’ve already mentioned some “outstandingachievements” of his, like putting the nuke in that portal (which saved theManhattan and finished the fight) but let’s add saving of the president and havinghis part in creating Vision to the list. Well, it’s not the whole list,obviously. But the point is proven, so let’s move on.

Now, noble qualities. Let’s take the list from this site. There are so many of them that I’mgoing to be very brief on each, but if youwatched the movies, you’re going to know what I mean.

*sacrifice – taking the nuke through the wormhole*determination – he! gotta! save!*loyalty – coming back to the Avengers while not being on active duty when thingsgot rough, wanting to arrest others instead of letting killing squads deal withthem (yes, I’d call it loyalty, he could have just sit and watch you know?)*courage – already discussed*dedication – have you ever seen a more dedicated guy, like, have you seen himat work*bravery – may I remind you about the nuke and aliens and stuff*perseverance – get the image of him dragging his disabled suit in aforest through the snow*focused – he literally doesn’t sleep when he has a goal he wants toachieve*conviction – he believes in what he does, he wants to continue doing it*selfless – fighting for others while risking one’s life is hardly egoistic, Ithink it’s quite the opposite*gallantry – the definition on that site tells me it’s about fighting the danger“with high and cheerful spirit” and well, if it isn’t Tony Stark*fortitude – does refusing to make a Jericho for the terrorists count? yesI’m sorry but at the end of the list of qualities on that site was this: “Heroes are not born, they are made. Anyone of us can acquirethese heroic qualities and can be a hero” and well if it isn’t Tony Stark.Wouldn’t you agree that the word “hero” fitsTony far more accurately than the one you used to describe him? Surprise, surprise!Tony is actually a hero! Who would’ve thought, right?

But! You didn’t only call him a villain, didyou. You said “the biggest villain of the MCU”. One, Tony is not a villain.Two, there are many villains in the MCU, why must you insist that a hero is avillain if you have plenty of them already. Three, all of the villains did badthings, why do you think that Tony, a hero, is worse than them? Four, have you heardof Thanos? Wait for Infinity War and then tell me Tony is the biggest villainof the MCU, please. Not that Tony couldn’t be the biggest villain. I mean, ifhe only wanted to, he could. Thanos would look pathetic nextto him. The thing is, Tony is a good man with pure intentions. Luckily foreveryone.

“He is the Donald Trump of the MCU!!”Now this is something that bothers me a lot, and it’s not because of the reasonyou probably think. Just.. it’s clearly stated on my blog that I’m fromPoland. Why do you come into my inbox and compare a character to the presidentof the USA that I have near to no interest in? Why would you assume I think he’sthe biggest villain of our universe? It’s just… no? Why would you do this?I do know some things about Donald Trump though, mostly from tumblr. I knowthat some of the things that people have against him are his attitude towardsimmigrants and the way he handles healthcare. Well, as far as I can tell, Tonyhas nothing against immigrants. Take one example: he has nothing against WandaMaximoff. More than that, he’s trying to protect her from being deported. Thegirl is not a US citizen and she doesn’t have a visa. Not very Trump-y of Tony,right? As for the Trumpcare, I don’t know how it works. I guess that peoplehave lower taxes but have to pay for their healthcare?? Tony has numerousfoundations and funds everything always, so jot that down. I might be wrongabout this whole Trump thing but, like I said, I don’t know that much about it.Maybe next time think before you send someone who’s not from the USA amessage comparing someone to Donald Trump. As I see it: connections to DonaldTrump? None. Oh yeah, he’s a white rich male but I had no idea that makes you avillain.

So that’s that. What you said in your messageturned out to be untrue. Surprised? Did you think it wouldn’t? No but honestly,did you?

Did you expect me to agree with you? Did you expect me to be persuaded by yourzero (0) arguments? Really, what was yourpurpose here?

I have no idea what you wanted to achieve with that message, but I’ll tellyou what you did achieve. You got along post about why Tony is not a villain and why he is a hero. You got a post whichexplains to you why you’re wrong. Anon, doyou realise that? I’m talking to all the anti-Tony anons here. You are justgiving us all an excuse to produce long detailed posts about how amazing Tonyis. You are just giving us an excuse to write something other Tony fans, notyou, will enjoy. Do you realise how unwise that move of yours is? You’re notgoing to persuade us into thinking that Tony is a bad guy. If anything, it’s you who’s going to be persuaded. If that’sthe case, if you want to be persuaded, sure, send anti-Tony asks. We’ll allgladly explain to you why you’re wrong. Because we enjoy that. So, thank you,for giving us the opportunity. But you might want to think twice before sendingan anti-Tony message again. This Isn’t Working.

And the last thing: Tony is not written as avillain. He is not supposed to be a villain. If you accept that, you’re goingto enjoy the movies more, trust me.

[milfymissy]

Cancer Mars Man with Virgo Venus Woman

A man whose Mars is in Cancer is a very sensual, domestic zodiac sign. He wants someone he can build a life with; someone he can trust with his most tender and private emotions. It may take him a while to totally open up to someone else, but having someone who is patient and willing to wait for Cancer to truly flourish is a must. He may be most compatible with a woman who has her Venus in Virgo. She may not say it, but Virgo wants a hero who will be with her through all of life’s ups and downs. Knowing that he has someone like Virgo in his life to care for him and be cared for the way he needs will make this relationship last a very long time.

Let’s get into why this is a perfect match. In detail, and individually understanding your lovers love languages.

VENUS IN VIRGO (Fall) or the 6th House


The Discerning Dater, The Healer, The Virgin

Save the red roses and the red carpets: If you were born with Venus in practical Virgo—the sign of selfless service—a pure heart and noble character are your true turn-ons. You love acts of service and you do the same. You are very appreciative of your partner, you can be a fuss and/or leave if you don’t feel appreciated and disrespected. A discerning dater (and sometimes perfectionist) you’d rather have no one than the wrong one. You need a hero who will have your back through life’s ups and downs. Being fussed over is so NOT your thing (unless bae is bringing you chicken soup when you have the flu). You’d rather hold hands while you walk under the stars, and talk about all the dreams you have for making the world a better place. Expensive gifts won’t necessarily woo you, but you’ll go giddy for something thoughtfully or effortly chosen, expensive or not. Along your romantic flight path you may fall for a few wounded birds, especially if their keen intellect appeals to your “sapiosexual” love of a beautiful mind. Alas, these romantic rescue missions can throw you off your game for months, even years! Once you recover, you’ll never go back; in fact, with the sign of the Virgin ruling your love jones, you can maintain long bouts of celibacy between partners. When you find someone who meets your standards, you’re a generous and sensual lover who intuitively understands the kinesthetic realm of touch and movement. Great hygiene and grooming are also a must for your germ-conscious Venus sign. Your “doctor’s bag” will likely contain a pouch with organic breath spray, chemical-free condoms or dental dams, and even Plan B (just in case). Since Virgo is an earth sign, making love in the great outdoors could also be your jam—as long as there’s a freshly-laundered (organic cotton) sheet to lay down on the ground. Modest and private, you generally prefer a clean and comfortable indoor environment for doing the deed. When it comes to decorating, you go for a Zen-like palette of whites, browns and earthy neutrals; your sartorial choices will reflect the same ethos. You keep your home orderly and may accessorize with natural objects like crystals and plants. Bookshelves are a must! Reading side-by-side in bed in the hush of comfortable silence might be your idea of foreplay. Venus is “detriment” in Virgo, which is said to be its most challenging position. Love may not come easily to you, but when you yield to its lessons, you may wind up the wisest and most satisfied of all! When your Venus is in Virgo, you express love by doing things for–and fussing over–your loved one. You notice little things about your partner, make mental notes of their likes and dislikes (this may sound contrived, but it’s not—it’s simply the way you’re wired! And many people crave this type of love. Don’t let it be taken for granted.), and genuinely try to help your lover in practical ways. You listen to what your lover has to say, and you have something sensible and intelligent to say in response! In fact, you are great at communicating about your relationship. you are needed! And there are partners who will see that. You work hard at making yourself indispensable in your partner’s life. Generally, you don’t throw yourself into love affairs too readily. This does not mean you are chaste, like the Virgo of yore. Some Venus in Virgo natives can even be promiscuous. But when it comes to gooey romance, where lovers bare all, you are rather selective and self-contained. You are a very sensual being who wants to feel safe before giving yourself to another. Venus in Virgo has a reputation for being critical. This does happen, but it generally is a symptom of insecurity. You can’t help but see the failings and the holes in any partnership, and you can sometimes be quite reticent about entering a partnership. Generally, though, you will see what’s wrong with a person at the outset of a relationship when it doesn’t feel safe to you as yet. It’s a defense mechanism more than anything!

Once you feel safe, however, you are not quite the fussbudget Venus in Virgo is made out to be. You value effort put into a relationship (in fact, for many with this position, effort from their partner is at the top of their list).

VENUS IN CANCER or the 4th House


The Caretaker, The Mother, The Father

Can you say, “hot mama?” With Venus in nurturing Cancer, you’re equal parts caretaker and coquette. When a prospective lover shows interest, you might demure or throw up a tough outer shell. This is simply a self-protective measure, because once you open your heart, you go “all in.” If you had your preference, you’d mate for life; and many a Venus in Cancer weds early, even to a childhood sweetheart. With your tender underbelly, it can take you years to get over a breakup or so-called rejection. But here’s something that’s especially important to remember: Finding true love also requires you to risk heartbreak. And it may be hard to believe, but playing it safe can even prevent you from finding your soulmate. Everything changes for the better once you see the dating game as a learning process instead of something you’re supposed to nail on the first try. When you inevitably do find “The One,” you’ll take care of them in every way possible. Blankets and pillows on the couch? Check. Cookies and milk for a snack, while dinner slow roasts in the oven? Check. Endless hugs, cuddles, kisses, and devoted affection? Yup, that too. Nesting with your S.O. can be pure paradise, whether you’re building a family or your dream home (or both). Chateau Cancer will be a cozy and well-appointed palace with overstuffed sofas and sentimental objects like souvenirs, family albums and framed photos. The kitchen is likely to be the heart of your home. Since you love to eat (and maybe cook), your ginormous fridge will always be filled. Hold the PDA! Deeply private, you’re “proper” in the streets, a tiger in the sheets. Cancer rules the chest area so you may tease with an open button or low neckline that shows off your chiseled pecs or décolletage. Fill your lingerie drawer with sexy little numbers and trot them out for an erotic fashion show: your idea of foreplay. You’re a natural mother, so kids may figure into your long-range plans—at least fur babies. And hey, since you have SO much love to give (and maybe more than one adult human can handle), getting a pet can be a great outlet for some of your warm-fuzzy TLC. When your Venus is in Cancer, you look for security and safety in partnership. You are the most caring and nurturing of lovers. Your lover is likely to be flattered by your excellent memory for all they say and do—in some cases, they could be intimidated as well! Sincerity from your partner is important to you, and you are attracted to people who you consider to be natural and genuine.

You are the most intuitive of lovers, finding it easy to “read” your partner’s character and feelings. As mentioned above, this can be flattering to many, and cause for concern for others! Which, of course, is fine by you, because the ideal partner for you is comfortable in their own skin. Anyone threatened by your “feelers” may not be sincere enough for you! Appreciation, security, and tenderness are most important to you in matters of the heart. You work hard at accommodating the people you love, taking care of them in every way you can. Because you are not very comfortable with confrontations, you are prone to side-stepping problems. You are easily hurt, but you can work hard at concealing that fact. It is difficult for you to forget any kind of action that you consider a betrayal on the part of your lover, but you are not one to run away from your commitments. You would benefit from expressing your hurts instead of letting them stew inside of you. In many cases, your partner may not even know that they’ve hurt you!

The above being said, you can see why this pair would be a match made in heaven. If both are evolved and in touch with their Venus/Mars and embody these traits- they can nurture each other perfectly, otherwise one can become very hurt, taken advantage of, or neglected

[adrianodiprato]

+ “Stand for something. Make your life mean something. Start where you are with what you have. You are enough.” ― Germany Kent  

Clear is Kind

Why are so many addicted to wanting more? It astounds me how the word “want” can control the modern mind. Wanting more appears to be today’s default setting.

Is “wanting” more simply frustrations with the seemingly endless choices we must make through the ever-closing window of time? English novelist Matt Haig stated in his book, Notes on a Nervous Planet “But while choice is infinite, our lives have time spans. We can’t live every life. We can’t watch every film or read every book or visit every single place on this sweet earth. Rather than being blocked by it, we need to edit the choice in front of us. We need to find out what is good for us and leave the rest. We don’t need another world. Everything we need is here, if we give up thinking we need everything.”

Is it therefore time you audit your life and your constant desire for wanting more. Re-set that mindset - instead of wanting more, consider being more.

Be more compassionate and gentler with yourself. Stop looking for external validation through the accumulation of things and via the vexatious opinions of others. Realise that your greatness and your true humanity comes from deep within. Being attentive and gentler with yourself is not an act of self-indulgence, it is an act of self-fullness and respect.

Be more present in the NOW. Do not dwell so much on creating your perfect life that you actually forget to live. You didn’t come here to be perfect through the exhausting exploration to want more. You already are. You came here to be and feel whole. You came here to be gorgeously human, flawed and fabulous.

Be more human in every imaginable way. We can’t achieve true happiness it we don’t aspire to be decent Christians and truly good citizens. In this life I encourage everyone to search to be truly human – to feel, to be attentive to self, to give generously, to receive, to laugh, to dance, to get lost, to be found and to love - self, place and the other.

When you turn your piercing, critical eye towards your own life—neither able to defend nor look away it is time to focus on your inner truth, your true north.

If, when you are prepared to look deep within, you use words like can’t, or tomorrow or but when referring to your self-worth, because of what you don’t have, check yourself and change your mindset. If you don’t, you’ll drive yourself to a nervous collapse.

Re-frame your excuses for simply being you. Transform them from impossible roadblocks into challenges that encourage authentic contemplation and personal inner growth. Seeing the big picture is more than just discovering your why. Find what you want in all areas of your life and see where each of your goals fit into that framework.

Remember that a coward is a person who avoids meaningful inner truth exploration and engages in actions that simply foster fear. A courageous person is one who finds meaning by tackling it head-on and honours their truth.

I had the pleasure of hearing American Research Professor and Author Brené Brown speak in Sydney this week. She spoke about the fact that sure, life can be scary and difficult at times. And that living abundantly calls each of us to have tough conversations and brave hearts with self. Nonetheless never lose sight that courage is contagious and requires us to take a leap of faith by turning up and being brave enough to abandon our amour and become the man (or woman) in the arena, a reference to this famous 1910 quote from Theodore Roosevelt, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Self-love. Selflessness love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling in uncertainty and risk. Demonstrated through the beauty of being emotionally exposed by messing up. Often. This is the power of vulnerability.

So what voice are you listening to today? Turn off all the negative white noise and listen to all that is your possibility. Because being clear about your possibility is being kind to one self. As Brown stated at her Sydney event this week, “clear is kind”.

Brown talked about the notion that you cannot get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. And in her book Dare to Lead Brown stated, “Choose courage over comfort. Choose whole hearts over armour. And choose the great adventure of being brave and afraid. At the exact same time.”

Haig states, “… but wanting is also lacking. That is what ‘want’ means.” Understand that life does not owe you anything. The way I see things is that each morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them. Chase that inner truth. This courage to honour self is contagious. By actively participating in all that life offers you’ll find ways to contribute to humanity in the most authentic ways.

If you are not the hero of your own story you are missing the whole point of your humanity. Don’t want to be like someone who already exists. Enjoy your difference. Choose the courage to know that you are enough.

And live a life where you are prepared to always show up and dare greatly.

 References

Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Ebury Publishing. London, United Kingdom.

Haig, M. (2019). Notes on a Nervous Planet. Canongate Books Ltd, Edinburgh, United Kingdom.

[bentonada-blog]

One can Become Care-Free by Reciting God’s Words.

Respected Guru Ji Baba Ram Rahim Ji says that one should live care freely but carefully during these days of Kaliyuga. Live blissfully in the memory of the Master, what is the fun of living with worries and tensions? If worry grants something then engage the whole of the family for worrying so that quick progress is ensured. Worry is not the solution to any problem. Worry is a burning pyre for living human beings. Therefore forget worrying and start working hard. Enjoy whatever is in your possession and work hard for that which is not in your possession. Use the art you possess for the betterment of your life through good deeds. Never get disheartened. Disheartening is like a broken ladder for failure. Therefore do not worry.

His Holiness Baba Ram Rahim Guru Ji says that no one is satisfied. Only those are satisfied who maintain their love for the Master, because he has nothing to worry, then. The biggest rich men of the world are graded according to their wealthy status. They are worried that lest some other one may not be upgraded comparatively and push me to the second spot. Numerous reasons are there for worrying. These do not let the man remain contented, may he be big or small. Becoming the king of ’Begampur’ i.e. where there is no ‘gam’ [worry]; is possible; if any; through Naam of Allah Waheguru or Ram only. There is no diet available in this world which is worthy of acting as a panacea of all worries There is only one such diet which is called Naam- Shabad, Kalama, Gurumantra.

It is through that Naam that you can have access unto the Master. You can become carefree by recitation of that very Naam. That fellow who is free from worldly worries during this period of Kaliyuga is the real frolicsome and contented. He may be managing the earning just sufficient for two times only yet no one can equate with him. Your Highness says that if your conscience is clear then surely your self-confidence will boost your happiness. If your thoughts are dirty then happiness will elude you even by numerous ostentations of showy meditation. If you keep the true love of the Master, Allah, Waheguru, Ram reserved in your heart; then you will be supplied with the doze of divine happiness nonstop irrespective of wherever you wonder. If you dress like devotees but act like savages by indulging in evil deeds, then your dressing is of no consequences but only your deeds will be evaluated. Man is recognized by his acts and not by his dress.

If someone dresses like Brahmin but does evil deeds like dishonesty, fraud, corruption then he is the meanest fellow. This has also been recorded in religious scriptures that if some ‘Shudra’ who is looked down upon in society as a low born person if studies Vedas-Shastras from the very beginning and gains knowledge up to ‘Brahm’ then he can be declared as ,’Brahm-Gayani’ He though being low born but is far better than Brahmins. Man is recognized on the basis of his deeds. None asks further in Dargah about the cast to which one belongs. Only the deeds done will be accounted for there. Therefore watch your deeds. Your thoughts must not be mean though you dress may be torn. Your thoughts about noble deeds must be of high caliber although the public may call you ‘Shudra’ Recitation of Ram Naam is the best deed out of all deeds.

His Holiness Baba Ram Rahim Ji says that man bothers for the cleanliness of his body so dearly. He rubs his body with soap so thoroughly and keeps a lot of attention for it. Have you ever rubbed soap of Ram Naam for the cleansing of your soul? If the soul becomes pure then your mind will become submissive and rest everything will be fine. If a man sheds tears for the world they are worthless. If even a single tear falls for the sake of Master; it will be turned into diamond-pearls by the Almighty. The Lord evaluates the tears shed in his memory so much so that he makes one pure internally and externally. Therefore do not shed your tears for worldly things. This wealth [Maya] is transitory. Those who ruled the roost in the past have no issue at present. Those who passed their days in poverty are sitting on the top these days. This wealth is a moving shadow. Today it is with you; tomorrow it will be under the possession of someone else. What I mean to say is that earn money through hard work and honest labor. The purpose of such earning is that it will be shared with the welfare of poor and hapless ones. The parents of persons with this motive deserve accolades.

His Holiness says that the life Sat Brahmachari is considered as good because they have one mission only for pleasing the Master and the offspring of the Master. Such type of life is not available to all in this world. It is availed by those only who have thoughts of this type. Such thinking can be availed by the householders as well but they are wrapped with various problems. Recluse has one target only; to love the Lord and to serve its offspring. This life belongs to some very lucky fellows. Otherwise, it is very tough to be recluse. It is not a petty issue. This is due to the grace of that Satguru on account of his good deeds which culminated in gaining this rank which is saluted even by god-goddesses. Such type of life is not found anywhere in Triloki.

Bhisham Pitamah had vowed not to marry throughout his lifetime and would not create children. That is the reason why; he was called as Bhisham but he had not left his family life. Those who shun their families are far more advanced than him. They have only one mission in their lives to get access to Allah, Waheguru, or Ram due to which they enjoy profound bliss in both of the worlds. When a recluse reaches Nij –Dham then the Lord gets up from his thorn and picks him up in his lap. Similarly, a householder if recites the Naam of the Master while fulfilling his responsibilities simultaneously can get the graces of God too. This is possible only for those who recite Naam may they be householder or recluse.

Your mind will come under control when you will sit for sumrin. You will have to do the practice of sumrin so far as you are surviving upon this earth. So far you are living upon this earth hold sumrin and service tightly. A householder can also do selfless service. His Holiness says that man does every other job but sumrin seems him to be hard. Man draws a time schedule for every other job but not for Sumrin. When rest all others works flash up in your mind automatically then the job of recitation must also ring in. If you begin to do sumrin; you will start to enjoy the divine views then you will repent that why so much time was wasted in the past.

Therefore sumrin must be undertaken. The Naam of the Lord is so powerful that all your ailments can be over. All your pending works may be completed. Nothing remains impossible by undertaking sumrin. Everything becomes possible. If anyone is desirous to have access to the Master then please adopt sumrin and do public service. One has to kill one’s ego for this. One has to get rid of his dirty thoughts. Maintain dignity for good deeds. If you do not possess dignity then you are not human being even. If you have true shame/dignity then all of your negative defects will ooze out. If you act upon the words of saints, Peer-Faquirs then Sach Khand, Nij Dham will move around you because where there is Parmatman there is Nij Dham.

As much the sumrin of Ram Naam will proceed that much effect it will cast inside the eyes. Just in case of acupressure the practitioner presses one with his feet but its effect is felt over the brain. In the same way, as much sumrin will be done by the tongue that much effect will be felt over the brain, heart, and eyes. You will begin to feel your body light like flowers. When a man becomes totally free from all worries and all thoughts come under his control, then none can be more comfortable than him. The bliss if desired more than this is however inherited in gaining the Supreme soul. Therefore go on reciting the Naam of Master continuously while walking-moving, doing business-routine jobs. Avoid that person who tells lies. Do not indulge in argumentation. Honour this human body, do sumrin of Ram Naam; you will become worthy of the happiness of both the worlds in this world of death and can be enriched with the kindness-grace of the Lord abundantly.

Originally posted:-https://babaramrahim.org/become-care-free-by-reciting-gods-words/

[sogoldensolo]

Dragon Age: Origins, Alistair (even Google Image Search couldn’t find the OP or I’d link from there). I chose this specific image for a reason, maybe you’ll see..

Attn: Dragon Age fans, especially lovers of Alistair and the Templar+Mage romance dynamic, have I got a book series for you.

It’s called Blade and Rose, by Miranda Honfleur, and I recommend it to anyone who falls into the above interest group.

Firstly, I’m going to tell you that it’s a romance series. A smutty romance series, in case you can’t stomach that type of fare.

Why do I recommend it? Because, to me, it reads like an awesome Dragon Age fanfic.

Taken from Goodreads:

A kingdom in turmoil or the love of her life. Which one will she save? Elementalist Rielle hasn't heard from her best friend in far too long. Yet no one at the Tower of Magic seems to care about Olivia’s silence, or the curtain of secrecy surrounding the distant capital. Before Rielle can investigate, she's assigned a strange new mission: escort a paladin named Jon across the kingdom. When whispers reveal mercenaries have killed the king, taken the capital, and that no one is coming to help, Rielle can’t leave Olivia in peril. But as infamous mages and deadly assassins hunt Jon, she can’t leave him unprotected either—especially as she finds herself falling for his strength, his passion, and his uncompromising goodness. Her past returns to haunt her, a werewolf stalks their steps, and an ancient evil is gathering, yet the restraints forbidding their love strain and snap one by one. Saving Olivia and the kingdom means defying orders and sacrificing her every ambition, and could mean losing the man who's become so much more to her than a mission. Which will she choose: her best friend and the kingdom, or the love of her life? Dive into a medieval world sensual and dark, full of magic and greed, love and blades, where factions vie for influence and there are no easy choices. 

I have more to say, though...No spoilers here!

Jon is basically Alistair in terms of his characterization. He’s intelligent, a highly competent warrior, handsome (he even looks like Alistair, save for his hair is brown), snarky, honorable, selfless, loyal to a fault, a virgin, an orphan, and was basically raised by the Templar Order Order of Terra to which he’s pledged his undying loyalty. The Order of Terra basically go around protecting the kingdom, doing good deeds, and neutralizing mages and magic. They are warded against offensive magic via tattoos that cover their bodies and they wear armor and use weapons made of rare, anti-magic metal called arcanir. Magic has literally no effect on a paladin.

Rielle is a rare type of mage: a quaternary elementalist. Most mages have one form of “innate” magic, magic that requires less anima to use and which can be wielded without special training. Anima is their finite inner reserve of magic and must be replenished when used up. Rielle can wield fire, water, air, as well as control the earth/plants (geomancy). She’s a kind of a crappy healer, though (contrast to Olivia who is a master healer) because it’s not innate to her and so she’s never learned anything beyond the basics.

While Jon’s life has been pretty straightforward (raised in the Order it’s all he’s ever known), Rielle has had to struggle through hers and has developed an independence that brooks no compromises: she will do what she wants to do so long as it doesn’t conflict with her overarching goal of attaining the Magister rank within the Order of the Divine. This means she will execute missions set to her by the Divine with speed and precision to demonstrate her dedication and her competency and she’s not going to let anything or anyone get in her way. She’s intelligent - she doesn’t make stupid mistakes but she does make human ones; she’s flawed - her reasoning and actions aren’t always consistent as she is as subject to emotion as anyone; she’s fairly normal, with normal wants and needs and behaviors, within the boundaries of her world. She’s also got a lot of emotional scars, though she tries not to let them influence her too much.

Much like the legends of the Archdemons and the Blight in Dragon Age, this book series has the mythos of the Immortali: immortal beings of all kinds (elves, unicorns, mermaids, goblins, dragons, etc) that once roamed the world but who were banished long ago by a cunning human king. Much like the people in Dragon Age, nobody in Blade and Rose truly believes these legends have any basis in reality.

However, lending a bit of credibility to these legends is Brennan, Rielle’s estranged werewolf fiancee. The catch is that only Rielle knows that he’s a werewolf, a living member of the Immortali. If anyone else knew...well, werewolves are difficult but not impossible to kill. He’s a narcissistic, manipulative asshole who, betrothed to her since childhood, only wants to marry Rielle to validate his own importance as the heir of a prominent noble family. He’s emotionally and physically abusive of her and Rielle just...accepts it. She knows it’s bad, she doesn’t trust him, refuses to marry him, and keeps him at arm’s length most of the time, but circumstances keep forcing them closer together and give him opportunity. Nevermind that he needs her blood, just a drop, each month to prevent himself from going full-on out-of-control werewolf and Rielle accommodates him. Also, because he’s an Immortali, Rielle’s magic doesn’t affect him leaving her physically incapable of defending herself against him. The book portrays him as blood-boiling hot but I don’t find abusive, controlling men particularly attractive myself.

The world is dark, with depictions of human suffering, torture, drug use, slavery, you name it. I just couldn’t help picturing everything in a Dragon Age art style and the soundtrack would be pretty much perfect. The characters, from the mains to the supporting, are well-rounded with good and bad points and interesting motivations. Even seemingly minor characters can have a huge impact on the story and they do so in a believable way. Magic is magical but it has “realistic” limitations. There’s a conspiracy about the royal family, people who aren’t what they seem, and a dark ritual to complete by the end that will determine the fate of the world.

This is totally Dragon Age: The Truly Expanded Edition. Change my mind!