#he needs to put 17 years of Slay on his resume

[cemetery-baccanal]

give us lord our daily bread 🙏🙏

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Geralt and the Minotaur

Y’all can thank @bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher for encouraging me to do this, I defs would have just thought about it for a couple months then forgot 😂

Pairing: None for this part

Warning: talk of violence and murder, retelling of Theseus and The Minotaur myth, talk of human sacrifice, if theres more plz let me know!

Summary/Notes: Myth background in case you didn’t go past the PJO books with your mythology obsession like I did. In ancient Greek mythology they believed in ‘joint fatherhood’ so basically the kid would have attributes from both fathers (bc philosophy was the tits back then not necessarily biology) King Aegeus (Vessimir) couldn’t produce an heir with his wife so he went to the Oracle of Delphi and she told him to ‘open his wine sack’ (helpful right?) long story short he bangs a princess and then Athena (patron goddess of Athens) tells the princess to go down to the sea with an offering where she bangs Posiden (co-patron god of Athens) hence Theseus (Geralt) is not only a demigod but a bastard prince.  I think this is all the background yall are gonna need if you don’t already know the myth

__________

Geralt knew the story well. For as long as he could remember, his mother would comb his stark white hair before bed and he would ask, “Tell me about my fathers?” She would smile fondly and begin to braid his hair in a pattern much like her own. 

“My little hero, your fathers are powerful, fair, righteous men. You have not only the blessing and favor of Poseidon, but the right to the throne of Athens.”

When he was younger he would squirm and protest, “I know mumma, but who were they?”

Vissena would sigh and change the subject until he was older, at which point she began letting the crumbs fall from her words. Crumbs Geralt followed to the truth of his heritage, piecing together stories his grandfather had told him about a sword and sandals pinned beneath a stone. 

When he was twelve, his mother told him the truth.

“You are destined to free the city of Athens from a terrible fate. When you can lift the stone and retrieve your father’s sword you may travel to his palace and claim your place as prince…” Her voice came to a strangled end before she coughed and continued “But you mustn't think about that now. You’ve rope to braid and cattle to feed.”

When he finally told her he was ready to try, her eyes welled with tears. She merely nodded, continuing to run the comb through her baby’s hair like she always had. He understood as he grew older why she was so reluctant to let him go. What mother can willingly send her child away in only destiny’s hands, regardless of his exceptional strength?

At 16, he succeeded in his first task, retrieving his father’s things, and set off to Athens. He went by land, wanting to rely on himself, not his grandfather’s wealth and power. He fought Perophes, disarming the practiced warrior with surprising little effort, to complete his second task. Fighting Coercion sent chills down his spine, with the man’s reputation for killing every opponent he faced he was certainly formidable, but he bested him nonetheless. His third task was complete. However, his name only became synonymous with ‘hero’ after slaying the wild boar. 

His first kill was at 17, still on the road to Athens. He could have let Procrustes live, could have delivered him to the nearest king for imprisonment, but his gut had twisted at the thought of the consequences of his failure. He tied Procrustes to the same small table he tied all his victims before slicing clean through the giant man’s limbs that hung off the edge. Leaving him to bleed out like he’d done to the skeletons littering the floor. It only seemed fitting, though the memory still made him queasy on nights when he couldn't sleep.

Even upon arrival at his father’s home, there was danger staring back at him in those beautiful amethyst eyes. The prophetess Yennefer would stop at nothing to keep the life of luxury and power she’d gained. She whispered false prophecies in King Vessimir’s ear, convincing him this boy who claimed to be his son was nothing but an imposter. Geralt should have expected such a welcome. 

As he lifted a cup of poisoned wine to his lips, Vessimir glimpsed the sword at his side, recognizing it in time to knock the ceramic out of his hand. 

The vessel had yet to shatter on the floor before Vessimir had rounded on the violet eyed woman with fury in his eyes like none Geralt had ever seen. 

The whole of the dining hall was holding their breath, waiting for the explosion to come.

King Vessimir whispered but one word, “Disappear.”

The woman glared daggers at Geralt as she waved her hand, stepping through a portal into nothing. He stared after her for a long time, having never witnessed manipulated magic up close and if he were honest with himself, he was a bit dazed.

As his father explained and apologized Geralt simply tilted his head in confusion, slowly putting the pieces together in his shock.

“Your sword, it was mine. You must forgive me, I believed a lie. I beg you.”

Geralt nodded, “You have a state to protect.”

Vessimir grasped him by his shoulders, “No, I have to protect you.”

Geralt smiled, endeared by the old king’s sudden saccharine sentiments, “I’m no boy anymore, you shouldn’t worry.”

As the rest of the guests at the banquet began to resume conversation Vessimir guided Geralt to a window overlooking the beautiful city that he would now be calling home, “So I’ve heard.  I would have thought your mother would raise you to be more merciful.”

Geralt eyed the ground, “Mercy for one who has killed so many and would kill again isn’t really mercy.” His voice was smaller than he would like, but after all these years of imagining his father, well he hadn’t expected a criticism of his ethics. 

“Good.” Vessimir nodded, leaning against the edge of the window, “We can work on your tone, but that’s a good start.”

A tentative smile took over Geralt’s face, “Work on my tone?”

“If you’re going to rule Athens and defeat Crete, you’ll need to be more assertive. But none of that now,” Vessimir waved a hand and a servant brought two more goblets of wine, “Now, I want to get to know my son.”

-

The following months were filled with lessons, from Vessimir’s top generals in battle strategy and formal combat, from a matronly maid in etiquette and the cultural customs of the port city, and from Vessimir himself in diplomacy. Geralt was thrilled at first, ready to prove himself worthy, but the routine slowly lost its shine. Eskel and Lambert were no doubt excellent fighters and leaders, but there were only so many ways to disarm someone with every weapon in the royal arsenal, and they were running out of challenges for the boy. If that’s what you could call him anymore. With regular meals, unlike during his travels, and the way his trainers pushed him he was starting to look more worthy of his Olympian heritage and place at the throne. 

He stood by his father’s side and paid careful attention to all of his meetings, every last one. Even the ones at dawn after a night of drinking with Eskel and Lambert. 

He sat on a stool, a step down from the platform where his father’s throne was carved out of stone as he observed the nobles bringing their worries, reports, and complaints to the king from the outskirts of the territory. The large amphitheater was teeming with men ready to share their opinion. Geralt found that rarely did anyone bring something that really needed fixing, just listening was usually enough to soothe their egos. It was all rather mundane now, Geralt could mouth the words his father would say before they filled the air, until the last representative. 

"My king, the spring is approaching, will we allow Crete to take our children yet again?”

Geralt’s brows knit together, eyes darting between the man and his father as they spoke.

Vessimir wiped a hand over his face, looking ten years older in an instant, “We don't have a navy that could even begin to challenge Crete’s. We have no choice.”

The gathered crowd erupted in shouts of outrage, only silenced when Vessimir stood, “It is the life of fourteen, or the life of the nation. Which will you surrender?”

There was more yelling, this time between a select few delegates, but Geralt ignored it and leaned to his right, lowering his voice so only Eskel could hear him. 

“What does he mean ‘the life of fourteen’?”

Eskel frowned, “He hasn’t told you?”

Geralt glared at him, waiting for an explanation.

“King Minos’ son was killed at the games a good twenty or so years back, so as penance he takes fourteen virgins from us every nine years. Seven men, seven women, and feeds them to his bastard Minotaur.” Eskel glanced over Geralt’s shoulder at the king, a look of worry clear on his face. 

“I thought the Minotaur was just a story, a parable of Crete’s barbaric nature.”

Eskel raised an eyebrow, not impressed by Geralt's literary analysis, “It’s no tale. It's as real as the ground under your feet, and it plays with its food.”

Geralt whipped his head back around to his father in time to catch his words, “There is no voting on war because of the brashness of your grandfather Letus, tread lightly. Until we have a reasonable plan of action all we can do is submit!"

Before he knew what his legs were doing Geralt was standing and shouting, "I'll go! Send me father! I'll kill the beast and return!" 

Cheers erupted from the crowd but Geralt only cared about his father's reaction and Vessimir was still as stone. For a moment Geralt worried for his heart, then Vessimir gripped his arm and leaned in with a panicked look on his face, "You are my only son, I will not send you to your death." He growled. 

Geralt felt a fire rising in his chest, "Your people are forced to send their children unwillingly yet when yours volunteers you're exempt? Does that seem fair to you?"

Vessimir’s grip tightened, nails digging into Geralt's arm, "Doesn't matter. You are the only heir. I can't risk the stability of the government."

Geralt stepped closer, making sure to stand at his full height, "Then you do not believe in me? In the power and blessings of Posiden that courses through me?" 

Vessimir snarled but said nothing. Surely not used to being challenged, especially not so publicly, about his devotion to the gods. 

Geralt lowered his voice, "I will go. I will free Athens as is my destiny, and I will come back to you unharmed." Geralt gripped his father's arm, and nearly pleaded, "I cannot sit idly by, you know I can't." 

Vessimir's eyes softened ever so slightly as he released his grip, "I should have known your mother would raise a stubborn man." 

Geralt grinned, "She said I got that from you." 

The amphitheater had gone quiet, all eyes on the king and this strange new prince. 

"Geralt will go." Vessimir sighed, clapping a hand on his son's shoulder. The crowd cheered in earnest this time and Geralt soaked it all in, their hope and elation. Vessimir raised a hand for silence and continued, "Now tell me, scholars and strategists, how will we bring him back alive?"

__________

part 2 here!

[junker-town]

Lions need to rise to Matthew Stafford’s level in 2017

Stafford, who’s on the verge of a massive contract extension, should be great again. Can he drag the rest of the team with him?

Through 13 weeks, Matthew Stafford played the best football of his career to lead the Lions to the top of the NFC North. Then, a dislocated finger derailed Detroit’s championship aspirations and Stafford’s MVP campaign.

The question now is whether the veteran quarterback can push his team past the border of greatness in 2017 and earn the franchise’s first postseason victory since 1992.

Stafford’s injury didn’t take him off the field, but still sent the Lions’ promising season into a tailspin. He managed to play out a narrow win over the hapless Bears to push his team to 9-4, two games ahead of arch rival Green Bay. Then, the wheels came off. Detroit finished its season with four straight defeats, losing each game by an average of nearly 15 points.

A defense that had been puffed up by a string of games against low-firepower offenses was beaten up in the process. The Cowboys rolled up 42 points in Week 16. Seven days later, the Packers sprung for 35, along with 448 total yards, to clinch the division title.

Stafford did his best to guide an offense that could win late-season shootouts, but was clearly hindered by his injury. Here are his numbers before and after suffering that dislocation.

It wasn’t the first time playing with a glove had a distinct negative impact on his play.

Now he’ll have to prove his pre-injury 2016 was no outlier. Stafford has been a good quarterback throughout his career. Last fall, he spent three months flirting with greatness. However, the season ended the way each winter has in Detroit since 1991 — without a postseason victory.

Detroit is invested in keeping Stafford healthy in 2017

The Lions fielded a middling offensive line last season, allowing Stafford to get sacked on just over six percent of his dropbacks — a mark that ranked 20th in the NFL. In order to fix that and keep their soon-to-be-extended quarterback upright, they invested in a pair of veteran blockers and rolled the dice on a former No. 2 overall pick. Detroit’s front office is hoping this will be enough to elevate its line into a top 10 unit.

The two big free agent acquisitions were guard T.J. Lang and right tackle Ricky Wagner, who will combine to earn at least $39.5 million in guarantees with the club. Lang, tentatively slotted in at right guard, spent six seasons as a starter with the Packers and earned his first Pro Bowl nod last year. Wagner, the younger of the two at 27, just finished up his rookie contract with the Ravens. That Baltimore line was significantly more effective than Detroit’s; it allowed sacks on just 4.6 percent of Joe Flacco’s dropbacks last fall and 3.4 percent in 2015.

Both will bring immediate value and consistency to the Lions’ blocking corps, but the biggest upside on the depth chart could belong to another new addition. Greg Robinson was the second pick of the 2014 NFL Draft after two seasons as Auburn’s starting left tackle. Despite huge potential and even bigger expectations, his career with the Rams failed to pan out.

Robinson struggled through his first two seasons with the team, but his inability to connect his prodigious talents to the NFL game came to a head in 2016. He was a healthy scratch for a Week 11 game against the Saints after rolling up 12 penalties in the 10 preceding weeks. That led Los Angeles to decline the fifth-year option on his contract after announcing plans to move him back to the interior of the line.

Then, they cut bait altogether, jettisoning him up north in exchange for a sixth-round pick. That’s a pittance for a player Geoff Schwartz described as “the last great college tackle.” The shift in blocking philosophy from the Rams to the Lions should give him a great foundation for a career revival in the NFC North. His ability to set his feet and drive forward in run assignments could make him a standout guard, but his athleticism and high ceiling suggest anything other than tackle would be a disappointment.

Robinson isn’t the only buy-low candidate on which Detroit is taking a small gamble. Cyrus Kouandjio was a second-round pick in the 2014 draft. Three underwhelming seasons in Buffalo led him to an inexpensive $800K, one-year deal with the Lions. At only 24 years old, he still has time to develop into a valuable starter.

With starting left tackle Taylor Decker out for an extended period due to a torn labrum, Detroit has made moves to improve even without him by adding steady, versatile veterans and cheap young players with promise. Decker’s replacement won’t be official until training camp sorts itself out, but Robinson and Kouandjio look like early favorites to fill that gap.

Keeping Stafford happy and healthy will be the key to keeping him in town. While the young veteran has never made any waves about leaving the only franchise he’s called home, he’s also only got one season left on the three-year, $53 million contract extension he inked back in 2013. He’s due for a bank-breaking re-up — perhaps even something that could eclipse the $25 million per year Derek Carr just earned.

Of course, if Stafford has a sudden change of heart as his pocket continuously crumbles around him and he decides he can’t win in Motor City, he wouldn’t be the first Lion to abandon ship.

The pressure falls back on the rebuilding defense

The Lions have lacked continuity in their quest to build an elite defense in the Stafford era. With the exception of 2014, they have failed to rank in the top 12 in either yardage or points allowed every season since 2000. Recent years have seen the team fail to find support behind All-Pro Ndamukong Suh or develop stars after his departure.

That outlying 2014, where the Lions finished second in the league in points allowed and third in yardage, produced the club’s best finish since 1991. That success started up front, where Suh, then-rookie Ziggy Ansah, George Johnson, and Jason Jones combined for 27 sacks from the trenches. DeAndre Levy was a punishing, consistent presence at middle linebacker after recording more than 150 tackles, and Glover Quin proved an adept center fielder with seven interceptions from the safety position.

General manager Bob Quinn is working to replicate that lineup. He brought Akeem Spence and Cornelius Washington to bring depth to the defensive line in hopes of supporting Ansah, Haloti Ngata, and 2016 second-rounder A’Shawn Robinson.

2017 first-round draft pick Jarrad Davis is an uber-productive inside linebacker who can fill Levy’s spot if the veteran free agent is forced into retirement by the nagging injuries that have limited him to only four starts the past two seasons. 2016 leading tackler Tahir Whitehead will move to the weakside LB slot to give Davis the space he needs to flourish. That duo will have support from Paul Worrilow, who started his first three seasons in Atlanta before falling out of favor with the Falcons last fall. Worrilow signed a one-year, $3 million deal in hopes of redeeming his professional value with Detroit.

However, one giant missing piece in the front seven is a reliable pass rusher. The Lions managed just 26 sacks last season, which ranked second-worst in the league. None of the new pieces they’ve signed are especially proficient when it comes to creating sacks. Further complicating matters are a couple of suspensions that will give the team’s early-season opponents plenty of time to throw the ball. Defensive end Armonty Bryant (four games) and tackle Khyri Thornton (six) will both miss extended stretches this fall.

That will put a lot of pressure on a secondary that allowed the league’s highest QB rating in 2016. Detroit is hoping a pair of high-risk, high-reward players can fix things.

Teez Tabor displayed first-round talent at Florida, but poor performances in the lead-up to the draft led him to the Lions in the second round. He and 2017 signee D.J. Hayden are high-ceiling players who will have several questions to answer with their new team. Hayden, the 12th overall pick of the 2013 draft, failed to live up to expectations with the Raiders but could be aided by a change of scenery.

The team also still has defensive coordinator Teryl Austin, who interviewed for the Chargers head coach job last spring — his ninth interview in the last three years. Austin wasn’t able to mold last year’s unit into even an above-average squad, but his spectacular 2014 continues to give the team hope.

Detroit’s commitment to restocking its defensive depth chart was apparent, but lacked major headliners. Instead, the Lions are gambling on high-level prospects with questionable resumes and low-cost veterans who weren’t their team’s primary starters in 2016. That leaves a lot of pressure on incumbents like Ansah, Glover, and Darius Slay — three players who will have to return to their highest forms in order to make this a top 16 defense this year.

The Lions will return to the postseason if the defense rebounds

The Lions haven’t been to the playoffs in back-to-back years since 1994-95. If Stafford’s last-season leap is for real, they’ll have a tremendous chance to break that decades-long streak. They play in the same division as a Vikings team that may max out at eight wins in the Sam Bradford era, the new Browns ... er, the Bears, and a Packers team whose rebuilding secondary will be vulnerable to Stafford’s aerial attack.

The rest of the team’s schedule leans toward the Green Bay side of the power spectrum. While games against the Browns and Bengals lurk, non-division showdowns with the Steelers, Buccaneers, Giants, Falcons, and Ravens will pose serious detours on the path to a 10-win season. However, like the Packers, that’s a group not known for its passing defense — only the Ravens ranked in the top 17 in yards allowed last fall.

That gives Stafford the opportunity to stake his claim as one of the league’s best passers. He shined in 2016 despite the absence of Calvin Johnson, dialing up his accuracy and cutting his interception rate to a career low. He turned a receiving corps led by Golden Tate, Marvin Jones, and Eric Ebron into a deadly unit.

When healthy, he led the Lions to nearly 23 points per game despite the 30th-ranked rushing attack in the league. A healthy Ameer Abdullah should help push that average even higher this fall, though the team still has plenty of holes in its tailback platoon. Abdullah’s fumble issues could prevent him from being a reliable No. 1 option, but all the franchise did to back him up was add Matt Asiata — last seen averaging a paltry 3.3 yards per carry with the Vikings in 2016.

They’ll need Abdullah to prove he’s a legitimate NFL start, just like they’ll need Davis and Tabor and Hayden and a handful of other question marks to prove their worth. This team is capable of beating anyone through the air, but Detroit still has several questions to answer on the defensive side of the ball.

The Lions committed to bolstering their defense, but there’s no sure-fire solution in the team’s additions. That could lead to several shootouts in 2017 — but that’s something Stafford is equipped to handle.