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starglitterz · 3 years ago

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cw ; word spam, angst, major character death

can this feeling be called love? the strange warmth blossoming in your chest when CHILDE kisses the back of your hand, the longing you feel when he disappears for a week, only to return bearing new scars while claiming recklessly with a gleam of pride in his oceanic eyes, "you should see the other guy." perhaps it's how the little details about him suddenly seem so obvious in the most adorable way, like how he stretches in the morning and offers you a smile while teasing you about the red nail marks scratched down his back, or how he worries his bottom lip with his teeth when he's frustrated but smiles up at you like everything's right in the world, or even his fierce devotion to his nation, his archon, his family, and you.

is it really love? or is it just forced passion born from the terror and fear of knowing how your life is constantly at risk when you're working for the fatui? in the claustrophobic meeting rooms filled with thick tension where nothing more than harsh insults are exchanged, falling silent when the tsaritsa herself steps in, the epitome of elegance as she delegates your tasks, was it amongst those where you began to adore him? when your fingertips danced with each other in a peculiar hesitance to actually touch, for that would mean accepting that you're both scared to lose one another, an intolerable fact in your line of work.

CHILDE, TARTAGLIA, AJAX; he wields so many names, and yet each one is a facade, a fake mask erected to preserve the truth; the eleventh fatui harbinger is merely a boy forced into the shoes of adulthood and under the weights of responsibility far too quickly. CHILDE has witnessed things worse than the most awful nightmares, but still all he gives you are dreams, handed to you delicately on a silver platter. "you trust me, don't you?" your lover colleague whispers to you one inazuman twilight when all the stars in the sky seem to have been swallowed up by the endless darkness of the galaxy. pink petals surround the two of you, his hands cupping your face with both reluctance and resolution, as if your features are a crown weaved of roses, whose beauty keeps him from pulling away even as the thorns prick him and leave him bleeding. he doesn't relax when you nod, but his gaze searches yours with an intensity reserved only for those he trusts with his heart of glass - you're always careful not to let it shatter. after an eternity of unbroken eye contact, he steals your breath with a kiss before murmuring, "then believe me when i say that we'll make it out of this alive. together."

he was a liar.

CHILDE died the moment he plunged a sword through the chest of a certain blonde-haired traveller, the expression of utter betrayal and disappointment which flashed across their faces keeping him awake in the dead of night when the rest of the world was asleep. TARTAGLIA died in a burst of electro and hydro-infused sparks, the fatui's his foul legacy form flickering wildly as it finally enveloped him whole, collecting the debt he had accrued from all the times he utilised the delusion's strength for battle. as for AJAX? he died long ago, from the second a naively innocent boy fell between the cracks of the world and into the absence of light, his youth snatched away just like his sanity.

yet even as you mourn him, cradling his limp body to yours, you know that his memory will never die - you'll always remember the man who kissed you under inazuma's cherry blossoms and promised you a better future. falling for him may have been a rookie blunder, a rip in the cloak of detachment you keep wrapped around your heart, but even if loving AJAX was a stupid mistake, he'll be the one you miss the most.

for the loml ; @sohyuki - this post is kinda ib hers here !! u should def check it out bc mints writing is so sexc oml,,, tbh idk what's going on this post but yeah im just rolling w it LOL and also fun fact ; cherry blossoms represent the fleeting nature of life 👍 time to cry! taglist will be tagged in an rb when i wake up hehe :)

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aegisshielded · 3 years ago

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It wasn't done on purpose- well, only a slight bit. They'd be all leaving soon and Dimitri had yet to talk to Felix, which he had been admittedly putting off for a series of reasons. Nervousness, stress, but also leftover tasks as well as packing up.

Now he no longer had excuses to give, and he was already starting to feel guilty for taking so long. And so Dimitri composed himself the best he could and went on to search for Felix.

The prince kind of knew what would Felix do and say. After that rebellion it seemed like their literal entire childhood spent together meant nothing more- all but charred remains getting carried by the wind. No matter how hard he tried, Dimitri was just left clueless on what to do- how to get his friend back. He'd never give up, at least not so soon, but he was also starting to be at a loss for ideas. Extra sparring?

The mark in his arm throbbed a dull, strange feeling at the idea. No. Not violence. Not aggression.

Talking? Felix was never one to talk much- just like Glenn had been, and now it was almost guaranteed that chatting between them would be fruitless. Gifts? Felix hated being spoiled as far as the prince could recall.

Dimitri appeared before Felix with a defeated smile. Grasping at mere crumbs for their friendship. "...hello, Felix. Sorry that I took so long." He wasn't going to add the excuses now. "As you know, I and many others will be leaving for Faerghus and we shall be away for a longer period of time." He wasn't going to mention the possibility of casualties discussed among them before either.

"So I-...just, take care okay? And please have this." A dagger was placed on to the younger Fraldarius' hands- its hilt was blue, but not the tone donned by the Royal family. Rather, it was the more green-ish blue preferred by House Fraldarius.

What the dagger meant didn't need to be spoken out loud- an old Faerghian tradition repeated through centuries. A blade to cut a bright path through any challange that stands in your way, the symbol of willpower, resilience as well as a token of affection.

"Until we meet again. Maybe we can spar for a bit once all of this is over." Once the mark fades and the boar stops glaring into my soul.

Of all the things that Felix claimed to hate, goodbyes had to be the worst of the worst, simply for the fact that he did not get to have the most important one so many years ago. As much as he longed to forget the death of his brother, there was plenty of evidence to show that Felix still had not gotten over it. Whether it was the sleepless nights or nightmares during what little sleep he could get, it was obvious to anyone who looked closely enough that Felix was still mourning even so many years later, albeit in solitude.

Despite all of his best efforts, Felix could not deny the past he shared with the young Prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. Their childhoods shared together did, much to Felix’s dismay, mean something to the noble. It was not until that wretched battle where he witnessed an entirely different side of Dimitri and Glenn’s death in an act of protection for the prince that Felix decided to hate the man. Even in spite of the self-proclaimed hatred, Felix had half a mind to hide away in his room and avoid the procession of students marching off to their potential ends if only to avoid having to say goodbye.

So, when Dimitri arrived to deliver his goodbyes and a gift as he set off for the stupid mission in the name of the church, Felix had half a mind to drive the dagger right into Dimitri’s shoulder and reprimand him for being so foolish. Had he not learned anything from Glenn’s death?

Instead, though, Felix gripped the dagger’s handle tighter, his knuckles turning white with how strongly he held the gift presented to him. He inhaled slowly, carefully, with intent focus before he rose his head from looking down at the gift and into the eyes of the naive, idiotic prince.

"Return in good condition so I can properly kick your ass," is all he says as he stared up at Dimitri, their height difference only growing as the years passed. Felix could at least say that he got a proper goodbye this time, even if it was in his own way.

#elegiac-boar #hmm ow #this hurt

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therealfluke · 5 years ago

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hello hello ! wld j like to say that if ur already following me and ur like “why” it is because. this is may. i j reserved from my rph so the alias it went under was lucky. which actually,, so fitting w this theme (goes by a name that means an unlikely coincidence, last name is associated with luck, etc.). in addition, if “lucky” by britney spears immediately got stuck in ur head... that was the ultimate goal. also listen,,,, u r not the only one who hates my url. and finally! i saved the old posts on here and j made them private for posterity (obviously) and also,, my sanity.

‹ OLIVER JACKSON-COHEN, HE/HIM, CIS MAN, BISEXUAL. › levi “fluke” fisher is the twenty-seven year old from salem, massachussets / new york city, new york. when a friend asked them what they thought of the manor they said, ❝ IT FEELS LIKE I’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE. ❞ they claim final destination is their favorite scary movie, and if they were to die in a horror film they would form an alliance with the murderer, then annoy the murderer into killing him by asking too many questions. their fears include rats, isolation and living the rest of his life without muse d, and they don’t know we know, but… in spite of a promise he made to his family, friends and self, he has a baggie of heroin on him at all times so he can prove to himself he’s strong (which is a lie – it’s really for a ‘just in case’ situation) . hope they enjoy their stay. ‹ MUSE C from OTHERSIDE penned by, LUCKY, 20, EST. ›

QUICK FACTS:

full name: levi “fluke” james fisher

hometown: salem, ma // moved to new york city, new york at twenty-two

date of birth: march 10, 1992*

*does not perfectly reflect the below Big Three Zodiac Chart™ because that’s so much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, scorpio moon, pisces rising (he is!! so ruled by his emotions!!)

gender & pronouns: cis man & he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

occupation: museum night guard ( fired ) / leech off of his older siblings

mbti: infp

enneagram: 4w5

the song i listen to on repeat while i write the intro: “stars” - nina simone ( cover )

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: death (under mysterious circumstances, but officially dubbed murder), night terrors / hallucinations?, drug abuse / addiction ( oxy, heroin ), accidental overdose, death by overdose

it began with josephine (“jo”), levi, charlotte (“lottie”), and christopher (“chris”) – in that order. or, perhaps, that reverse order – see: chris was the oldest.

they were all born to very kind and lovely parents. the majority of levi’s memories with his parents take place in a large house they were intending to flip. given its size and the price it would sell for, they spent more than their fair share of time in there. that being said, because their parents were often busy flipping and marketing the house, they all relied on each other for fun, even in spite of the sizable age difference between himself (and jo, who i have forgotten to mention is his “younger” twin) and christopher.

the longer they spent there, however, the more uneasy they grew. i mean, it was basically its own version of the manor – it was also guillermo del toro’s wet dream. levi could’ve sworn he’d had some run-ins with spooks, but no confirmation was ever, nor could ever be, offered. so the manor feels... very normal.

anyway, when levi was eight, his mother and father met an untimely demise. a break-in gone wrong while the kids were with their grandparents, they were told. at the time, levi... was eight and, therefore, had no doubts. now, however, he mulls over the many possibilities – it was a big house, the likelihood that they really could’ve been in that wrong of a place at that wrong of a time felt very unlikely. some form of suicide? something otherworldly? they seemed about as likely. he’s pretty sure lottie and chris know the truth, but...

after that, they were sent to live with their grandparents. while not particularly ideal, they recognized that it was far better than the foster care system. however, these recurring spooks didn’t just stop when he moved. his grandparents and older siblings blamed it on childhood night terrors, jo believed him.

as they continued into his teen years, they claimed it was sleep paralysis. he confided in jo, in secret, that they weren’t strictly at night. he knew very well that, if he shared that with his grandparents or older siblings, they would think he really needed help. maybe he did, he never truly learned.

when chris moved out to go to college, and when lottie followed just a few years after, levi found it was just jo and himself. their grandparents were beginning to go past old age and reach senility. they had bouts of forgetting.

levi chose not to go to college, but insisted jo, who’d always wanted to go, go without him. she went to new york city, he stayed behind with his grandparents in salem up until their death when he was twenty-two. it was early in his eyes, but for, say, his brother, it was pretty record-breaking.

when he was twenty-one, after the death of his grandparents, he left salem and all of its reminders of childhood terrors and lies. he found jo in new york and began living with her and working as a night guard at one of the many museums.

but a mere one (1) year later, jo, usually straight-edge, decided she would finally go to her first college party in celebration of being so close to graduating. yeehaw. levi was invited to go with her, but had been warned far too recently that, if he missed one more shift, he’d be fired.

on the topic of his night shifts, his terrors seemed to go away when he moved to new york. it seemed as though he’d left them all in salem, but there were definitely moments in a huge and empty museum that he could’ve sworn he’d seen something. anyway, back to the main point:

jo didn’t return until the next morning and, when she did, she expressed the excellency she had experienced the night before. she wasn’t afraid of telling him she’d tried drugs for the first time – no, that night, it’d just been weed. he’d tried weed in high school, trying to figure out if it would help with his terrors. for a hot second, it did... which is what led to his own demise.

(OK! so from here on out, i’ll be talking about the other muses in the subplot. i’m gonna do my best to leave their story and keep their drug of choice vague! anyway!)

jo began falling deeper into the drug world after meeting and beginning to date muse b and eventually fell into harder tingz™. she never tried to pressure fluke into trying anything, but he witnessed the reaction to it. between that and having looked up to his younger sister ( by, like, two minutes ) for nearly the entirety of his life, he decided to try whatever she did.

however, unlike her, he quickly escalated to heroin.

he started out smoking it... then snorting it... then began shooting it. he liked shooting it the best – not only because he reached the high quicker, but also because it required more of a ritual. as a fan of ritualistic behavior, the lead-up was almost as enjoyable as the high itself. unfortunately, it did leave him with many trackmarks and an even higher risk of reliance and overdose.

he didn’t go out to many parties after that. he preferred shooting in the company of the few, not the many. if his sister and friends did, that was their prerogative, but it was just... more peaceful...

suddenly, he didn’t ever think about the terrors or the lies or the shadows in the museum. he was eventually fired, yes, and had to start ‘earning’ money via asking his other siblings.

when the topic came up between himself and his little group of friends on whether or not they should quit, he had no answer.

in 2018, at twenty-six, his usual dealer had cut him off due to the money he was no longer good for. finding a much cheaper one, he took the same dose, but the amount of other chemicals it was cut with sent him to the hospital. given plenty of naloxone, he came out of it alive and clean and, due to the nature of it all, was deemed a fluke.

he didn’t take to that at first. he was lucky, yes, but a fluke ? it couldn’t have been that unlikely... especially when he fell back into it after finding another dealer and being totally fine. however, when he heard jo had overdosed and actually died ?

yes, he was a fluke.

he was so blinded with rage at muse a at first for leading his absolute crutch to her death, he was so blinded with rage at muse b for first introducing her to a world of harder drugs, he was so blinded with rage at himself for being the one who survived when she was the one who actually could’ve done something with her life.

so he embraced the word ‘fluke’ – he acknowledged that he was one during her eulogy, he told his other siblings he’d been the fluke at her wake. when he began saying it enough times, it caught on, whether he meant for it to or not.

he’s no longer so angry at muse a and muse b for what they did. muse b wanted to get sober, after all, and muse a , much like himself, was simply an addict. they couldn’t help not being prepared to give it up. he’s still furious at himself.

now that they've all gone clean, however, fluke is somewhat more pleased. he’s fairly certain he’ll never not be in mourning. quite frankly, he’s fairly certain he’ll eventually relapse. even worse, in spite of the group promise, he’s brought contraband with him to “prove his strength” ( see: that’s what he tells himself ).

riffing off of that, in the manor, his terrors have begun returning and he’s unable to nail if it’s because of the similarities between it and the home he remembers so well or if it’s because he’s now sober of it it’s because... it’s just the manor itself.

he’s still certain it’s all real.

TL;DR:

basically lived in a replica of the manor when he was a kid with his loving parents and three other siblings. is pretty sure he saw some paranormal stuff goin on. parents were “murdered” but he suspects something else. moved in with grandparents and continued seeing some paranormal stuff. only his twin sister, muse d (jo), believed that it wasn’t just night terrors. jo went to college, he stayed behind. grandparents died rip. he went to nyc where jo was and eventually met muse a and muse b when they all fell into hard drug use. almost died because of poorly cut heroin. jo died some months later. hates himself. rip. alexa, play “my heart will go on” but the recorder version.

PERSONALITY INFO:

sad boi energy

if u read thru this and didn’t think “why does she keep basing her characters off of characters from thohh” then,,, u should go watch thohh bc,,, it’s so obvious (we even over here picturing victoria pedretti as jo unless someone applies for her at some point afhsljk) hlfajdsa

has a terrible tendency to find someone to feed off of – someone to be codependent off of. without jo, he’s floundering.

is very * eyes emoji * at,,, many things. the explanation for his parents’ death? * eyes emoji * the spooks that almost everyone came up with excuses for? * eyes emoji * staying sober? * eyes emoji *

didn’t mean to start going by fluke, but started using the word to describe himself so much, it just happened organically.

i have stated before. that im bad at these sections. so feel free to j consult the zodiac / mbti / enneagram above haofuwdlijk

not rly personality but lil hc is that he goes back to that huge victorian house all the time and uses a ouija board to see if he can contact ANYONE :\ the ultimate eeyore :\

another lil hc is that he’s actually a v talented pianist. his mother sort of taught him the basics and he went on to learn classical through sheet music and schooling, then songs from rock bands/artists who incorporated keys in their music. brought the 7-octave keyboard his grandparents bought him... apparently doesn’t need it because there’s a huge piano hajfdkls

if u want 2 hear abt some of my paranormal hcs lmk i wld put them here but?? some r actually creepy (and/or involve blood) which we luv for me!!

FEARS:

rats: when he was living in that big house™, there were plenty of rat infestations. he often got those mixed up with his spooks™. there were also a lot of rats at his grandparents’ house and at his and jo’s apartment. it’s more of a general fear, but. (also... rat poison? drug abuse? symbolism.)

isolation: for an introvert, he’s really bad at being alone. for one things, he gets lonely which is very detrimental to his already fragile mental state, especially considering he’s pretty sure he’ll relapse. in addition, he’s much worse at dealing with any spooks™ that come his way when he’s completely alone. when someone else is in the room, even if he isn’t actively talking to them, at least there’s the comfort of not being alone in it all.

living the rest of his life without muse d: even if she was the one who began their drug journey, she was the only person who ever believed anything fluke said – she was the only person he ever felt actually listened to him and cared about him with no ‘if’ or ‘but’ attached. he also always found her much wiser than himself and could’ve sworn she would’ve gone to rehab after getting well with muse a one last time. she was the one who was going somewhere and she was the one who loved him unconditionally. no wonder he’s got sad boi energy :\

WANTED CONNECTIONS:

his other brother and sister! i’ll probs send in wcs for them to the main, but if you think they wld sound cool, lmk. luv that. (update!! take one of them you cowards.)

the dealer who actually dealt him quality heroin

the dealer who dealt him heroin cut with god-knows-what

someone he accidentally starts to sink with himself

exes

fwb

ons

enemies (not super great at making them, but is still able to)

the new person he’s decided to latch onto

childhood friends (if there are other salem (or at least massachussetts) characters!)

idk!! we can also look at urs and/or brainstorm!!

ok ! like this or hmu if you’d like to plot !

#manor.talk #(there's a tl;dr btw ahlfsj)

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