#he makes me so !!!!!

[sil-te-plait-tue-moi]

Lovers' fevers.

Quick summary: Rust tries to overcome the night you spent together.

Word count: 655 words

Warnings: Mentions of smut; don't chain-smoke???

A/N: Last drabble before I actually commit to a longer story. Read context for this (and eventually that) here!

***

To remove himself from his tendency to think and think and think, Rust smoked, slumped over the wiry railing of the upper balcony outside his place. His first instinct had been to drink, of course—but, once he had opened the fridge, he was consumed by the image of your fingers curled pretty over the neck of the Corona he really shouldn’t have given you. 

So far, he had made his way through half a pack, sucking down smoke as if he’d be nearly as lucky enough to be granted his silent death wish. At least, then, his skin would stop buzzing like a halogen bulb, give way to true silence. 

It was evil, really: if there existed a God, He sure loved violence. Rust would’ve loved to blame it on external possession: it had not been him reduced to an animal, really, but something other, and that something had touched and been touched and had indulged in that pointless hunger. Selfish. 

He shuddered quietly at the memory, which pulsed thickly, rhythmically, just behind his eyes, an all-consuming vibration. Half-convinced that there was something supernatural about your touch, Rust hastily lit another cigarette, crushing the previous beneath his matted work shoes, counting on the habit to numb this inconvenient distraction. His skin was thick. So thick, in fact, that there were times where Rust felt it was really a suit, some aspect he could step out of and inspect for maintenance. No sensation, no pain, could ever compare to the fact-based knowledge that everything happens in the head. Manage the mind; manage the self. The mind outlasted the self. Nostrils burning, eyes blown wide, Rust would tell that to Crash before receding, so that his brain would not leak from his ears. It usually worked. Here, he felt acutely aware of every temperature shift, every varying texture upon his skin, writhing secretly with near overstimulation.

Still, you remained, like a ghost. He dragged a hand across his face, like he might manually remove the anguish there. 

He should’ve liked to blame you. Temptress, Eve in the garden. Only, in what world would that ever be fair? Rust only existed to deliver what was fair, what was just. He refused to align with the supposed blameless. Marty considered himself blameless, and some unmanaged part of Rust loathed him for it, itched to apprehend him.

Rust was not blameless – far from it. Every bad thing that happened to him, he knew he deserved. Call it karma. Nature carried out its dues – why shouldn’t he?

You had smelled so fresh. 

You were trying to quit – he had almost felt guilty, smoking so openly in front of you. Then too, it had been a last-line defence against the craving that only grew every time he allowed himself to look at you, that gnawed and tore at his gut when your tired voice had quietened to a low drawl. You: threat to his realm, soft, wanting. When you had opened yourself to him, took him in deep, you were close and warm and wet – Rust would have liked to have blamed it on his programming, the way he responded. He knew, though, that it was just him.

He would not sleep tonight, he understood. He would not even approach his bed. The whole place still smelled like you, even though the linens had been to the laundromat’s, even though he had had the windows cracked open to Louisiana’s summer heat every night since. 

Maybe Rust would drive to a bar. Maybe he would stop at a gas station, stock up on Camel Blues. Then, he would shower. In the morning, he would shower again, knowing that, in any proximity at work, he could risk weakening your resilience to quit with the cigarette smoke that seemed infused into his very being. Or perhaps he would let you be tempted by this – perhaps you would then understand what was happening to him. 

[rrylies]

was feeling good and then i remembered altans last words were centered around finally getting his vengeance

[pepteezer]

a sketch i did of evil peppino in attempt to break out of art block (with two expressions bc both were just so good)

[internalchickens]

Every time I think of John I cry a little

[agapintheskin]

..see him face

[poppurini]

lilia being the ever so patient bf no matter how much u worry or fuss over the same problem bc he knows all u need is comfort and company and reassuring words and he’s more than ready to provide exactly those

[burrythebusy]

Hirano has so many damn moments where he realizes that Kagiura IS special. Just that. Like saying "he's my kouhai and I really care about him" and "I wanna make him happy" and"im a man of my word" and "because I like seeing you happy with what I do!" And "why did i try to pat his head just now?" And "do you want me to be needy or not!" And "that was nothing to get spooked by though".

Oh and "It's totally normal to wanna touch someone else's abs right!?"

Hirano knows that he doesn't have these thoughts about anyone else. He does know it, and I know he knows it because he thinks to himself that there's nothing wrong with wanting to spoil him, and he does the lap pillow reluctantly and admits he wouldnt do it with anyone else (and kind of enjoys it), and he tells ichinose that being with Kagiura helps him do his best, and he tells Kagiura that he was being selfish at first and spoiling him for the sake of simplicity but he started doing it because it made kagiura happy, and it makes him happy seeing kagiura happy, and to keep kagiura happy he will do whatever it takes. Yeah that's it, hirano has boundaries of course but he will do as much as he's even slightly willing to do simply to make kagiura happy with what he does for him. Because Kagiura is special to him.

And to him, Kagiura sparkles and Hirano calls him amazing (once but he thinks and says it indirectly every now and then) and admires his ambition and wants to see his hard work "up close and personal" because kagiura is SPECIAL to him, and I can't wait for this to really really sink in for him that Kagiura really means much more to him than most

(This is a small part of a bigger analysis post that I may or may not post after vol 4 comes out it depends)

[wordswhisperinthedark]

Sakata Gintoki, chained by promises to protect, burdened by his failures to do so

*head in hands*

[achillesleftheel]

I just died

[forflightlessbirds]

okay yes i said i was going to do an intro but i must thought stew

is this blog going to turn into a bf appreciation blog WHAT no crazy anyway

i look at him as he's talking about something i don't know anything about and his eyes are so bright with unabashed passion and suddenly my future is film reel and in each frame i am finally the lead role and he is the camera and he is the constant of time passing and the flickering between frames and we are both sat in the audience as our hands brush one another's and in his eyes i find starlit solace as they crinkle up as he smiles and that dimple in his left cheek is there again and his hair is in the light and this is love in a moment and it will all be over soon so that it can happen again

sorry moots who followed me for go or tma i do this shit on the daily time for a cup of tea and a lie down in the grass

[ginyia]

my thought process while playing Ace Attorney: Dual Destinies (Turnabout for Tomorrow)

I definitely see the potential in this case and I appreciate how the writers managed to string clues to this case throughout the game. However I find many issues with the way capcom-

omg miles edgeworth (*^.^*) <3 <3

[nxuvillette]

im writing dr ratio porn hehe

[pokikirapoki]

[maxemilianver]

whoever decided to post max working out in his balcony, riding the bike with his shorts, legs in glory out in monaco sun bent down sweaty and suffering, THANK YOU

[yusuke-of-valla]

I need to make coherent thoughts about Yusuke's definition of love being "giving affection for nothing in return" because ooougggUGGIJFNFH

[himejoshiangels]

considering ruining my own life and rereading hero of olympus solely 4 jason grace