#he literally ran into fire to save Frankie and her dogs

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Ella, Tangalle and Mirissa

We caught a train from Kandy to Ella, with no snacks, thinking it would only be a couple of hours.. 7 hours later we arrived pretty hangry. Totally worth it though because it is actually the most beautiful train journey in the world. We sat on the floor by the open door and dangled our legs out the whole way.

We walked 5 mins to our hostel which was the worst place we had ever seen. Literally a shack on stilts, on the busiest main road in the town and full of lots of little pets in the bathroom. It was called 'SpiceHut' which is never a good start. Frankie had a cockroach crawl up her leg when she was brushing her teeth, never screamed so loud. We found food at a restaurant next door and had 8 Sri Lankan curries and rice each for £2 each, one of which was a jack fruit curry OMG so bloody marvellous.

The next morning we packed up and ran as fast as we could out the door in search of a new home. After maps taking us the wrong way and walking up a mountain in 30 degree heat with all our stuff, we arrived at a guesthouse in the middle of nowhere, bunned off their wifi and found somewhere else. Third time lucky we found a lovely little guesthouse WITH A BALCONY.

After some lunch we decided to walk to Ravana Falls, we were told it was a 45 minute walk so we set off full of promise and excitement. Took us 3 hours actually. It was such a fun journey we got caught in a huge storm and had to walk bare foot down massive windy roads, people kept stopping to give us a lift but we were like NAAAH WE’RE ENGLISH WE LOVE ABIT OF RAIN (ironic as we both came down with deadly colds the next day). After about 3km we found a beautiful hotel and walked in looking like two wet, feral children, everyone inside was dressed amazingly for their buffet lunch. The kind man let us in for a coffee even at the risk of upsetting customers and ruining their rep. We met a lot of dogs on the way down and even a few monkeys, our Frankie has a bit of a monkey complex but she was v brave (and dogs and cows).

At the end of the 7km walk the waterfall was beautiful and we felt well ard for walking when we saw everyone getting off their tourist coaches, we tried to swim but a policeman came and fished us out because it was too dangerous apparently (eejit).

We woke up the next day feeling rank but we soldiered on. Thinking it was just down the road we went to visit the 9 arch bridge, but actually it was another 5km climb. WE LOVE CLIMBING! In the evening we went for dinner at a little shack called ‘Matey Hut’ recommended to us and it was bloody bootiful. There’s only 4 tables and it’s a tiny place but the food!! The world needs to embrace pumpkin curry it is incredible.

The next day we had to move hostels AGAIN, but moved about 3 mins down the road to another super cute guesthouse. We both felt rank from walking in the rain so we laid in bed all day and watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s and ate crisps. The guy who owned it made us an absolutely cracking breakfast the next morning. His wife was away for Sri Lankan New Year, poor sod, so he was holding the fort and kept bringing us more food to try and please us as much as possible. Bex wrapped some of it up to take ‘for lunch’ but actually saved it and fed it to the wee dogs up the mountain. We climbed little Adam’s Peak which was beautiful and not that difficult now we’re professional climbers. The views over Ella were amazing and there were puppies at the top which were so adorable. I love that all mountains seem to have pups at the top it’s such a reward (Bex obviously, Franks don’t like dogs much) (alien).

We went for a coffee on the way down at a cute cafe over looking the valley , we stayed there for aaaaages it was such a little sun trap. Then headed back to the hostel before going for dinner which was absolutely rubbish. The waiter brought out wobbly popadoms so I asked him to bring some legit ones and he was like ‘nooo they’re meant to be moist’ I mean I haven’t dedicated my life to researching the texture of popadoms but I know a stale one when I see it. Me and Franks weren’t appy!

ELLA - TANGALLE.

Got the old 31 bus to Tangalle, now I look back on it I can laugh but at the time I thought I was going to blow chunks all over the Sri Lankan locals, finally I got a seat but I saw a little girl standing up so I let her sit on my lap and my god what a regret, the wee nugget fell asleep and not only was she 100degrees but she was dead weight, frankie was sat at the back like the queen while I was baby sitting a heavy ball of fire, cute though!!! We arrived at our hostel where the staff were all getting blotto for late New Year celebrations, we had the most beeeautiful sea view room. We met a dog called Freddy who slept on our balcony but Bex woke up covered in flea bites from all the cuddling - rank.

The next day we played in the sea but it was mucho aggresso, we both lost our sunnies when we were piggybacking and got taken out by a wave BUT the most remarkable thing happened when 3 hours later we were sunbathing and Bex’s glasses washed up on to the shore sitting perfectly on the beach. Frankie’s are still in the sea, we like to believe they’re being worn by a wonderful dolphin who’s feeling super sassy.

The hostel owner had the cutest son who was like 7. We played bat and ball with him which was cute (***BEX played with him, bloody Frankie went and hid, I sacrificed myself for you) but when he kept turning up at 7am at our bedroom window, and we woke up to him staring at us with a bat in his hand it all got a bit creepy. After our bad experience with sea the day before we found a calmer bit of ocean and we didn’t get out for 4 hours and splashed around being beached whales when other girls tried to look all sexy. We did competitions and we sung songs really loud and just looked generally really cool.

After a week of bumming around on the beach we hopped on a bus to another beach.

MIRISSA

When we arrived in Mirissa we immediately dumped our stuff and went back to our beloved sea. Bex instantly got blown miles to the shore by a wave leaving Franks just a little dot in the ocean, the waves were NOT OKAY.

The next day we looked for a swimming pool, we asked a TukTuk driver to take us a few beaches down the road but he went half hour to Weligama beach instead, found the cutest pool which they let us use for free at ‘Good Story��� spent the rest of the day splashing about like morons, I feel like people are always confused when we’re in water like 'how long can they stay in there? Did they get out when we weren’t watching? Why aren’t they shrivelled up like raisins? Why is that girl tormenting her poor friend?’ That evening we played cards with our lovely pal Samuel who was a bit of a buzz.

A couple of days later I had savage chest pains, I think it was from being taken out by the waves but I was convinced I was having a heart attack, I plopped down outside a shop and couldn’t get back up so me and Franks hopped in a tuk tuk to the docs. The waiting room was a free for all and all eyes were on me being the weird white girl holding a freezer block on her chest, me and Franks gave the best A* drama performance of all time and they all said I could be seen first (if they’re all going to stare we may aswell make it worth while AMARIGHT). Doc was nice until he recommended going to the hospital for an ECG and in that second I had a miraculous recovery, thanked him for his time and ran away at speed. After a lot of debate we went to the hospital where it was like there had been a zombie apocalypse, the tellies were on but there was no one home.

We walked through and found the whole hospital having a late New Year party (there was even a DJ) in the garden, all the nurses and doctors were having races and apple bobbing and I was having a suspected heart attack. One matey finally came over to help me, I wasn’t convinced he was a doctor he looked like he was doing it for a laugh but he sent me for an ecg and asked me adult questions so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Got in a right strop because the nurses tried to make me get my wee nips out in front of the ward of staring Sri Lankan’s and they kept telling me to calm down cos I was shouting like a hooligan about the lack of curtain drawing. Luckily my gal Frankie was on full nipple patrol. ANYWAY was just a pulled muscle but was a really fun morning in the end!

Naturally after this we went for cocktails to celebrate and then went to find Turtle Beach

It was so jeffin beautiful, a super quiet corner of the beach where we hired a snorkel and dived straight in. Within 5 mins we were swimming with metre long green turtles and it was incredible. Bex probably shouldn’t have been doing it with severe chest pains but it was the last day so had just get over it. At least we knew she wasn’t dying..

The next part of the journey was probably the worst experience we’ve had in the time we’ve been away and to be honest we don’t wanna relive it but here we go. We had made a decision to move closer to the airport a day before our flight so we didn’t have such a long journey, what a bloody stupid idea that was. The train was fine to Colombo, the bus to Negombo was full so we had to get a tuk-tuk (cost a bloody fortune), there was a petrol strike so the tuk-tuk driver couldn’t get petrol and was freaking out, we got super stressed, the cash point kept rejecting my card so I couldn’t pay for the tuk-tuk, the tuk-tuk broke down, we had to change to another one, it was pissing down with rain, the hostel we wanted to go to wasn’t in Negombo (was another 10km’s so an extra £10 to get there) so we ended up at a random guesthouse down a dark road by the airport miles away from anywhere chosen by a sign on a main road that had pretty writing on it. It had A/C and the owner made us tea. After a bit of dinner at the only restaurant in a 3 mile radius, it was bed and then on to JAPAAAAANNNN