#he likes the rest of us but we’re not her

[summersong2262]

“We’re going to go round up the ships, everyone who’s left. Sue for peace, as best we can, get the Edenites on side. And then we’ll find a place to fulfill the old promise. Somewhere out there exists a home not paid for with blood. It won’t be for us, but it will be for those who have been spared. Babies always get born, houses always get built. And flowers will die on necromancy’s grave.”

Her throat was working. “Augustine…”

The lyctor took her silently in his arms. They held each other like children who’d had a nightmare, and had woken in a fright. Just as silently, they detached. 

She said in a low voice: “He was right. There can be no forgiveness.“

“Then let us not seek out forgiveness, but forgetfulness,” he said. “Bury me next to you in that unmarked grave, Joy. We knew that was the only hope we ever had, that we would live to see it through, and pray for our own cessation. Oh, we’ll still hate each other, my dear; we’ve hated each other too long and too passionately to stop. But my bones will rest easy next to your bones.”

These three make me absolutely loose my mind on a daily basis

[rosiecosy]

come back home୨ৎ

(ot13 x reader) — angst, comfort

fights weren’t common between you and the boys, but when they happened, they always felt big.

tonight was no different.

you weren’t even sure how it started—something small, something dumb. maybe you were feeling overwhelmed, maybe they were frustrated too. but words were said, voices were raised, and suddenly, the walls of the dorm felt too tight, their voices too loud, the weight of their concern too heavy.

so you left.

you barely registered the way the door clicked shut behind you, barely noticed the cold bite of the night air against your skin. all you knew was that you needed space.

—

your feet carried you to the nearest park without much thought.

it was mostly empty at this hour, the dim glow of streetlights casting long shadows across the pavement. the only sound was the distant hum of passing cars, the occasional rustling of leaves. it was quiet. peaceful. a stark contrast to the suffocating tension in the dorm.

you wandered over to the swings, hands shoved into your pockets as you let out a slow breath.

maybe you had overreacted. maybe you should’ve just stayed and talked things through. but it was hard—being the youngest, the only girl in a dorm full of overprotective boys. they meant well, you knew that, but sometimes it was exhausting. too many opinions, too many voices telling you what to do, too many people hovering, worrying, questioning.

and you knew they only did it because they cared, but sometimes… sometimes you just needed to breathe.

you sat down on the swing, the chains creaking softly as you pushed off the ground. the rhythmic motion was soothing, the cool air helping to clear your mind. you closed your eyes, letting the weight of the night settle around you.

—

meanwhile, back at the dorm, the boys were spiraling.

"she’s not picking up," minghao muttered, lowering his phone.

"maybe she just needs a minute," vernon offered, though he sounded unsure.

"what if she doesn’t come back?" seokmin blurted out, eyes wide.

"don’t be ridiculous," woozi sighed, though his grip on his phone was tight.

"what if something happens to her?" mingyu asked, looking way too close to panicking.

"okay, enough," seungcheol cut in. "jun, jeonghan, joshua—you check the streets. hoshi, woozi, dino—stay here in case she comes back. the rest of us will check nearby cafés or parks."

"we’re not splitting up like a horror movie," jeonghan muttered, but he was already grabbing his coat.

—

you didn’t know how long you had been swinging when you heard footsteps approaching.

you blinked, slowing your movement, turning your head just in time to see seokmin and mingyu jogging toward you, relief washing over their faces the second they spotted you.

"there you are!" seokmin huffed, hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

"we’ve been looking everywhere," mingyu added, slightly breathless.

you blinked at them, a little guilty but mostly just tired. "i was just getting some air."

your phone buzzed in your pocket—seungcheol’s name flashing across the screen. you hesitated before answering.

"…hi?"

"where are you? are you safe? why didn’t you answer your phone?"

"i’m fine," you sighed. "i just needed to clear my head."

"stay where you are. we’re coming."

you didn’t get a say in it.

—

when you got back to the dorm, thirteen pairs of eyes were on you.

seungcheol looked like he wanted to lecture you. seungkwan looked like he wanted to cry. dino looked like you had personally betrayed him.

"i was literally gone for, like, twenty minutes," you pointed out.

"twenty minutes too long," hoshi muttered.

"don’t do that again," jeonghan sighed, pulling you into a hug.

"we thought you left for good," dino mumbled.

your expression softened. "what? why would i do that?"

they all exchanged awkward glances.

"…because of the fight?" jun said hesitantly.

you blinked. "guys."

"you left without saying anything," joshua pointed out.

"because i knew i’d come back," you said. "i just needed some space, that’s all."

seungcheol exhaled, rubbing his temples. "just—next time, tell someone, okay?"

guilt crept in at the worry in his voice. "okay. i’m sorry."

they all nodded, still looking a little shaken but relieved.

"now, group hug?" seokmin suggested.

before you could protest, you were pulled into a mess of arms, warmth, and way too much body heat.

"okay, okay, i get it!" you laughed. "i’m not going anywhere."

"good," woozi muttered. "because that was awful."

"never again," seungkwan mumbled into your shoulder.

and despite everything—despite the fight, despite the worry—this felt like home.

[bewaryofpity]

fluff 19 withe luke hughes pls✨✨

thank you for requesting ! 🩶

19. “I think my family/friends really liked you. Maybe more than they like me.”

.

Luke didn’t necessarily hide you from his friends and family, he just wasn’t the type of guy to flaunt his relationship in front of everyone. He was reserved and private, so when he was met with his parents and brothers at the front door he felt like panicking.

He stood still, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights, and it took you bumping into his back completely unaware of what was going on for him to get himself together. And when you finally followed his gaze, you mirrored his pose. You wanted to hide behind him, but the way his mom’s eyes immediately flickered between the two of you made it clear you had been caught. 

“Why are you all here?” Luke asked.

“Dude, we play the Canucks tomorrow night. And I told you I was gonna pick up mom, dad and Quinn from the airport.” Jack grumbled, his brows raising before a slow smirk spread across his face. “Wait, who are you?”

Luke sighed, shifting awkwardly. “Y/N, my… girlfriend.” He whispered.

Quinn looked amused, his arms crossed as he studied the two of you. “And you just weren’t gonna tell us?”

“I mean, I was gonna tell you eventually.” Luke groaned. 

Ellen though ignored her sons' teasing, stepping in front of you with a warm smile. “It’s so nice to meet you, sweetheart.” She gave Luke a playful teasing look, “I wish we’d known sooner.”

You laughed, feeling a little more at ease already. “I think Luke just likes keeping me all to himself.”

“Sounds about right,” Jack muttered. “I live with you dude, why the fuck— ow!”

Ellen rolled her eyes at him, gently snaking the back of his head. Jim gave you a firm handshake and a friendly nod before they ushered inside to get comfortable.

The first few minutes were filled with little moments of teasing, mostly from Jack, but it didn’t take long for the conversation to settle and turn into something more natural. You found it easy talking with his parents, they instantly brushed off that Luke kept you a secret for months. Ellen was the first to tell you that she had a feeling that something, or rather someone, was making her son more at ease, more comfortable with himself now.

It wasn't long before dinner started and the conversation shifted away from you with Ellen talking about the kids growing up, sharing wholesome and fun memories, and you could tell how close Luke was to his family just by the way he listened, a small, content smile on his face, not complaining much about the embarrassing stories his mom was telling you.

He was quiet for the most part, just taking in how you fit so well with his family, yet he couldn’t help but still send you small glances, making sure you were okay. You laughed at their jokes, told your own stories about your childhood, answered any question that came your way about you and Luke. 

“So, he asked for your number after he spilled his drink all over you, didn’t even ask for your name first?” Jack asked, leaning forward with interest, a boyish grin on his lips.

Luke shot him a glare. “We’re not doing this.”

“Oh, we’re definitely doing this.” Quinn said, smirking.

“Yes, but that wasn’t so bad. I’ll tell you, on our first date…” You grinned while Luke groaned, dropping his head into his hands as the rest of the family eagerly listened.

By the time the night wound down, everyone was exhausted from the long day. As you and Luke retreated to his room, he closed the door and leaned against it with a dramatic sigh.

“That was exhausting,” he mumbled.

You chuckled, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Oh, come on, it wasn’t that bad.”

He lifted his head, opening one of his eyes to give you a pointed look. “You know, I think my family really liked you. Maybe more than they like me.”

You smirked, motioning for him to join you on the bed. “Can you blame them?”

He groaned, letting his full body weight rest on top of you. “You’re supposed to be my girlfriend.”

You wrapped your arms around him, pressing a kiss to his temple. “Don’t worry, Lu. You’re still my favorite Hughes.”

He huffed, but you felt him relax against you, nuzzling his nose in the crook of your neck. And after a while, between getting ready and finally settling underneath the covers,  Luke pulled you to him, holding you close, the warmth of the day still lingering between you.

[cressidagrey]

The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince - Chapter 11

Pairing: Lando Norris x Elizabeth "Lizzie" Treshton (Original Character)

Summary:

Elizabeth Treshton—bestselling romantasy author, queen of fae heartbreak, and sworn devotee of a carefully structured routine—never expected her service dog to abandon protocol and diagnose a Formula 1 driver with something. But that’s exactly what happens when Mara the wonder-dog ditches Lizzie’s side to aggressively alert to none other than Lando Norris in the middle of a coffee shop.

Warnings and Notes: 

Mention of epilepsy and service animals. I don't myself suffer from epilepsy, so I asked my IRL friend, who thankfully was nice enough to let me ask her all the questions I could come up with. The rest I asked Reddit. So everything that's wrong...that's totally my fault and not on purpose.

As always big thanks to @llirawolf , who listens to me ramble

Lizzie barely had time to take in the Quadrant studio before a guy launched himself across the room like he was personally greeting a royal dignitary.

“Oh my god, you actually brought her,” he gushed, stopping just short of throwing himself at Mara’s paws. “Lando never lets us meet his friends—”

Lando sighed theatrically, rolling his eyes as he led Lizzie inside. "Because you're all lunatics."

The man grinned, unfazed by Lando's comment. "Yeah, but we're your lunatics.”

Max Fewtrell, already grinning, lifted his phone. “Right, formal introduction time. Lizzie, welcome to Quadrant chaos. You already know me—”

“Tragically,” Lando mumbled.

“—but this is Ethan, who thinks he runs things, Ria, who actually runs things, and Steve, the only adult in the room.”

Lizzie grinned. “Nice to finally meet you all.”

“Oh, we’re making this official,” Ria said, practically vibrating as she rummaged through a box on the table.

Lando groaned. “I already hate this.”

Ethan smirked. “Oh, you will.”

With a dramatic flourish, Ria pulled out a small fabric bundle and unfolded it.

Lizzie blinked.

It was a Quadrant dog bandana. Black with neon streaks, the brand’s logo stitched neatly in the corner.

“You made her merch?” Lizzie asked, trying to hold back a laugh.

Lando let out a long-suffering sigh. “Okay, listen. I can’t be seen walking a dog wearing Ferrari merch—”

"You could just walk her," Max chimed in.

"Shut up. Anyway.” Lando picked up the bandana. “And I highly doubt Lizzie would let me put McLaren papaya on her—”

“Not happening,” Lizzie confirmed.

“So this is a compromise.” Lando gestured at the bandana like it was the only logical solution. "I thought she’d want a little Quadrant flair too.”

There was a beat of silence as everyone seemed to process his logic.

Then, everyone started laughing. Loudly.

"Oh my god." Ethan shook his head, grinning. "Lando Norris, dog-walking fashion expert. Who would have thought?”

Max snorted. “Honestly, I get it. The internet would never let you live it down.”

Lando shot him a look. "Exactly. Have you checked Twitter lately? They already think I'm the biggest Ferrari fan in the history of ever. I don't need to give them any more ammunition."

Everyone else laughed harder. Ria was trying to catch her breath. "Oh my god, Lando, you're such a drama queen."

Steve, the supposed only adult in the room, was the only one who didn’t laugh. Instead, he studied the bandana with a considering expression. “Honestly, it is a good look. The orange would have clashed with her coat anyway.”

That set off another round of laughter, but Lando looked oddly appeased by Steve’s assessment.

Max clapped his hands together, grinning. “Right, Mara needs to try it on. Lando. Do your thing.”

Lando rolled his eyes, yet he knelt next to Mara. The Labrador seemed to realize this was important, because she sat perfectly still, her eyes trained on the bandana.

Lando wrapped the bandana around her neck, adjusting it until it fit snugly.

“There we go. She’s a Quadrant girl now,” he said, ruffling Mara’s ears.

 Lizzie crouched beside her.

“What do you think, girl?” she asked. “You like it?”

Mara gave a single wag of her tail.

“Oh, that’s a yes,” Ria confirmed, nodding sagely.

“100%,” Max agreed.

Lando stood, hands on his hips. "Of course she likes it. I have good taste."

Lizzie suppressed a smirk, trying (and failing) to hide her amusement at the ridiculous scene unfolding before her.

"And he's modest too," she joked.

Lando shot her a look, though there was no real annoyance behind it. "Hey, I'm just stating facts."

Max snickered. "Lando Norris, humble as always."

"You all just wish you were as humble as I am," Lando shot back, rolling his eyes.

Ethan gave an exaggerated sigh. "I know. It's tragic really. If only we could be as modest as the great Lando 'I'm a better driver than everyone in this room' Norris."

Lando flicked him off in response.

"So, this is where the magic is gonna happen?" Lizzie asked curiously, staring around the warehouse. "It looks..."

"Like an abandoned warehouse?" Max suggested drily. "It's for the aesthetic of the photoshoot."

"And what is that aesthetic?" Lizzie asked. "Where to dump a body?"

Lando shot her an amused glance. "Dark, edgy, abandoned industrial-chic, I think."

"Yeah, it's our 'we're really cool and don't care' vibe," Ethan chimed in.

Ria nodded. "And it's cheaper than renting out an actual studio."

"Not to mention we have the freedom to set everything up exactly the way we want," Steve added.

"You know...for the vibe," Max said, wiggling his fingers in the air.

"I think the aesthetic choice is very 'Lando','" Lizzie mused, eyeing Lando, who looked offended.

"What does that mean?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hmm..." Lizzie tapped a finger against her chin, pretending to think. "Rich, edgy, slightly obnoxious..."

"I am none of those things," Lando protested.

Lizzie stared at him. "Lando, you literally bought a Range Rover on a whim. Now you are sitting here,  in front of the dog, whose bandana you had custom designed as we debate the 'aesthetic' of your photoshoot in a warehouse."

Max snickered, while Ria and Ethan tried to hide their smiles. 

Lando huffed. "Fine, I see your point. But it's still a cool aesthetic."

"It's definitely unique," Lizzie conceded.

Max's grin widened as he turned to Mara, who had been quietly observing the entire exchange. "And what do you think, Mara? Do you think Lando has a cool aesthetic?"

The Labrador simply sat there, with her tongue lolling out, blissfully unaware of the debate about Lando's cool factor.

Lizzie smiled. "I think that's a solid 'yes' in dog language."

"Alright, alright. Enough making fun of me," Lando complained, though he didn't look particularly bothered. 

Steve, who'd been watching the whole exchange, finally spoke up.

"You know, I have to say, this is already more fun than most photoshoots."

Granted, Lizzie had managed to get through her life with literally only three photoshoots unless one counted random selfies with fans, so she tended to agree.

It was quite fun that she got to watch the whole thing go down though, shooting Lando's newest merch collection, while Mara happily took a nap on her feet. It was...interesting to see this side of him. 

Lando, as it turned out, had a knack for modeling. He effortlessly fell into different poses, morphing from nonchalant cool to charming casual without breaking a sweat. Lizzie couldn't help but admire him.

Ethan, as the photographer, seemed to be having the time of his life. He directed the shoot with enthusiasm, barking instructions like the self-proclaimed art director. "Okay, Lando, give me intense stare. Yeah, that's it. Now, throw in some smolder."

Max, playing the role of the hype man, didn't hesitate to boost up Lando's ego.  "Damn, mate. You were made for this. When are you gonna ditch racing and become a professional model?"

"Never," Lando shot back, without even pausing in his poses. "I have too much dignity for that."

"Dignity? You?" Max laughed. "That ship sailed years ago."

"Oh, shut up," Lando retorted, but he couldn't quite hide his smile.

Lizzie watched all of this with amusement, her eyes fixated on Lando as he moved in front of the camera.

He was a different person in front of the lens.

Confident, charismatic, almost...intoxicating.

It was easy to lose herself in the view, especially as his gaze frequently met hers, his smug smirk sending tingles down her spine.

God, he was handsome.

After what felt like hours, the shoot was over.

The lights were shut off, the equipment packed away, and the warehouse slowly returned from a makeshift photoshoot studio back to an abandoned warehouse.

Lando, as if waking from a trance, wandered over to Lizzie, his gaze roaming over her in a way that she could only describe as hungry.

"You’re staring," Lizzie pointed out, fighting down a shiver as his gaze continued to linger on her.

Lando gave her a lazy smile, not bothering to look away. "Can you blame me?"

Lizzie’s heart did a little flip, her cheeks warming under his gaze. She was still getting used to this — the casual intimacy between them, the easy banter, the way he looked at her like she was the only thing in the room worth seeing.

She could hear the others packing up and chattering in the background, their voices a soft, background hum. But right now, her attention was laser-focused on Lando, his eyes still holding hers captive.

"We need to get going," she said, kinda hating herself fo having to say that. "Tasha will kill me if I am late to my own reading."

Lando nodded, reluctantly tearing his gaze away from her.

“Right, right. Can’t have Tasha coming after you with a pitchfork,” he said, his tone light but his eyes still holding that intense look.

She gave him a smile, but she promised herself that tonight…tonight she was going to take advantage of that massive bed in their hotel room. 

***

"We banned all flash photography and we'll had somebody tell them to just ignore Mara multiple times," Tasha said seriously.

Lando hadn't known that Lizzies best friend slash pseudo-sister also had the role as personal assistant slash point of contact for everybody that was involved in Lizzie's actual job...but he had learned that over the last few weeks.

Lando leaned back in his seat, watching Tasha as she talked. She was a force to be reckoned with, that much was obvious. He couldn't help but respect her dedication to making sure everything ran smoothly.

And he was also very glad that Lizzie had somebody with her at all times that knew the ins and outs of her epilepsy better than anybody else.

Tasha was a godsend, both a best friend and a safety net for Lizzie.

As Tasha continued briefing them on the night's schedule, Lando let his gaze drift to Lizzie, who was listening intently to her friend.

She was an absolute star to look at as always, but there was something different about tonight. There was a spark in her eyes, a hint of excitement, and a faint smile on her lips he really liked.

Lando was not the type to sit and listen to people gushing over books for hours, but given the way Lizzie looked, he was sure he could put up with it...

He had been to his fair share of movie premieres and gallery openings, but those were easy. He took a few pictures, flashed a charming smile...he was the center of attention. 

But tonight…Lando Norris was completely ignored. Because he was uninteresting. 

Elizabeth Treshton was the star. 

Lando Norris got to sit backstage and follow along from the shadows. 

And quite frankly, he found the whole experience fascinating, just because he got to see Lizzie's world.

The world of books, of words and imagination. It was utterly foreign to him, and yet he couldn't help but find it fascinating...especially with Lizzie in the middle of it.

She was the star here. She was the one people wanted to see. The world she had created, the characters that had been born out of her words on a page...millions of people had read these words.

And they loved them.

Lando found, to his surprise, that he couldn't take his eyes off her as she walked on stage, as she read a few pages, as the hall clapped, and as she answered the first few questions. It wasn't even about the words anymore, it was about the way she talked, about the way her eyes shined. About the way she was fully in her element.

He wasn't looking at a different woman...but he was looking at a facet of hers...that he hadn't yet gotten to completely see.

And he found himself wondering how many there were. How many layers he still had to uncover, how many things he still needed to discover.

He was a race car driver, speed and competition were his domain. He was living the life he'd always wanted.

But sitting here in this venue, watching Lizzie take the stage and make an audience of strangers hang onto her every word like the last light in a dark cave...he knew he was only scratching the surface here.

The rest of the reading, the Q&A and the signing went by in a bit of a blur. He was too busy watching Lizzie and the way her face lit up when fans came up to her and told her how her writing had moved or inspired them. And when she was finally finished, making her way towards him with a tired smile on her face, he couldn't help but reach out and grab her by the hand to pull her closer.

Her steps faltered for a second as he pulled her closer, but when she looked at him, her expression melted into a soft, tired smile. "You held out pretty well," she teased lightly.

Lando shrugged nonchalantly, his grip on her hand tightening. "I had a pretty good view to keep me entertained," he replied, his gaze drifting over her face with an intensity that belied his casual tone.

"Oh? And what exactly was so entertaining about the view?" Lizzie asked, amusement sparkling in her eyes despite her obvious tiredness.

Lando's smile widened into a lazy smirk. "Just taking in the show, Miss Treshton," he said, his thumb tracing circles against her wrist. "You were quite the spectacle up there."

Lizzie arched an eyebrow. "Spectacle, huh? Are you just trying to butter me up, Mr. Norris?"

"You are incredible, you know that?" he told her seriously.

She stared at him wide-eyed.

"And not just tonight," he continued, unable to keep the admiration out of his voice. "You've built a whole world with your words, Lizzie. And you've got millions of people wrapped around your little finger, myself included.”

[scribblesofagoonerr]

𝑀𝑜𝓃𝓀𝑒𝓎 Our Girl: Growing Up | 𝒮𝑜, 𝒟𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓃’, 𝒟𝒶𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓃’, 𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝐵𝓎 𝑀𝑒

summary: leah and jordan are finally made aware of the extent of abuse monkey has suffered at the hands of mark

our girl: growing up masterlist

“Honestly, Mum. I don’t know what he was thinking,” Leah sat at the kitchen table, elbows resting on the surface as she rubbed her temples in frustration. Jordan and Amanda sat across from her, mirroring her serious expression, “You should have seen acting the way he was at the match. It’s no wonder that Monkey is so… terrified of him.”

Amanda’s expression darkened, “Did he really say that? In front of everyone?”

“Yeah, without a care in the world,” Leah sighed, nodding in agreement, “He just came up to us at the end– And he was loud enough for everyone else to hear!”

“You’re kidding?” Amanda’s voice was laced with disbelief.

Jordan let out a humourless laugh, “We’re not. It’s like that man has no shame now. Like, he doesn’t even try to hide it anymore, Amanda.”

Before either Leah or Amanda could respond, the shrill ring of Leah’s phone cut through the tense atmosphere. Instinctively, she reached for it, her stomach twisting as she saw the caller ID.

“Who is it?” Jordan asked, curiously as she noted the worried expression on her girlfriend’s face.

“It’s Monkey,” Leah murmured, an uneasy feeling creeping into her chest.

The three of them exchanged a look, dread settling between them like a heavy fog.

Leah quickly swiped to answer, pressing the phone to her ear, “Monkey?”

A trembling whisper came through the line, barely audible over shaky breaths, “L… Le! I need… I need your help. Please.”

“What’s wrong, my girl?” Leah shot up from her chair, her heartbeat hammering in her ears, “Where are you? I’m coming. I’m coming right now!”

“I… I need you, Le. Please. Help me,” Your voice cracked, choked with fear, “I… I’m scared, Le. I’m so– I… I don’t want him to hurt me. Not again.”

Leah’s grip on her phone tightened, “I’m coming, Monkey. I’m coming. Just… Just stay on the phone, yeah? Don’t hang up, alright?”

“O… Okay,” You shakily replied.

“Where’s my keys?” Leah frantically scanned the kitchen, “Where are they? I can’t see them anywhere! I need them. I need to get to Monkey. Now.”

“They’re right here, Bubba,” Amanda motioned to them, handing them over.

Jordan was already on her feet, “I’m coming with you.”

Amanda’s face had gone pale, “Be careful. And bring her home.”

Leah barely nodded, her phone still glued to her ear before she was out the front door and climbing into her car, her entire world narrowing to one singular thought.

Get to you. Now.

“Le, slow down,” Jordan warned, gripping the dashboard as Leah sped through the dark streets.

“I’m not stopping until we get to her,” Leah’s voice was razor-sharp, her knuckles turning white against the steering wheel.

Jordan exhaled a sigh, “Le, listen I know you’re worried, and so am I. But if you don’t slow down, you’re going to end up in a wreck before we even get to her.”

Leah barely registered Jordan’s words, her mind solely focused on you–on the terrified, broken voice that had been whispering through the speakerphone for the past five minutes.

“Please hurry, Le,” Your voice trembled, cracking under the weight of fear, “I’m… I’m scared. I don’t want him to hurt me again.”

Leah’s jaw was clenched, stomach twisting painfully as her grip on the wheel tightened, “We’re on our way, Monkey. Just… Just hang in there, alright? Stay on the phone with us. We’ll be there soon.”

“Le,” Your voice was small, almost childlike, “I’m… I’m really scared.”

“I know, my girl,” Leah exhaled sharply, forcing herself to keep her emotions in check, “I know you’re scared, but we’re coming. Just stay on the phone and talk to Jordy, yeah? Talk to Jordy for me.”

“Uh huh,” You mumbled hesitantly. After a moment, your voice wavered again, “Jordy?”

“Hi, little one, I’m here,” Jordan reassured you in a soothing tone of voice, her own voice being a steady contrast to Leah’s barely contained rage, “We’re right around the corner now. Just hold on for us, okay? You’re being so brave, Monkey.”

“I’m scared,” You whimpered in fear, “I… I don’t like this.”

Jordan swallowed a lump that formed in her throat, “I know, little one. But just a few more minutes, and you’ll be safe in the car with us, yeah?”

“Please hurry,” You sniffed, your breath shaky, “Please, I… I don’t want him to find me.”

Leah clenched her jaw so tightly it hurt. If she ever saw your father again–no, when she saw him again–she didn’t trust herself to hold back.

None of that was important right now. You were her priority. Getting you out of there was all that mattered.

“You’re near?” You asked.

“We’re round the corner, my girl,” Leah replied as she turned the corner.

Her heart leapt into her throat.

There you were. 

Small. Shaking. Curled in on yourself near the edge of the pavement with your arms wrapped tightly around your knees. The loose-fitting football kit you were still wearing was drenched in the night air, clinging to your trembling frame. You looked so tiny–so scared.

Leah slammed on the brakes, barely shifting the car into park before she threw the door open and sprinted toward you, “Monkey!” 

Your head snapped up at her voice, your breath hitching as fresh tears spilled down your cheeks, “L… Le,” You whimpered.

Leah was on her knees in front of you in an instant, wrapping her arms around you and pulling you into a tight hug. You collapsed into her, your body wracked with silent sobs as you buried your face in her shoulder.

“I’m here, my girl,” Leah murmured, her voice soft but unshakable, “I’ve got you. You’re safe now.”

You clutched at her jacket with trembling fingers, holding on as if she might disappear if you let go, “You… You came,” You choked out, “I thought… I thought he would find me. I thought he would hurt me again.”

Leah felt something deep inside her crack.

“Of course I am,” Leah whispered, pressing a firm kiss to the side of your head, “I’ll always be here when you need me. You don’t have to be afraid anymore, okay? I’ve got you.”

You peered up at her, searching her eyes, “You… You promise?”

Leah exhaled shakily, “I… I can’t promise, my girl. But I swear I will do everything in my power to keep you safe now. He won’t touch you again.”

“I don’t want to go back,” Your voice broke,  “I don’t want to go back to that house. Please don’t take me back.”

Leah tightened her arms around you, her decision already made, “You’re coming home with me, my girl.”

There was no need for her to say anything else. She just scooped you up, carrying you as if you weighed nothing, and settled into the backseat of the car. Jordan had already moved to the driver’s seat, eyes dark with determination.

The warmth of the car was an overwhelming contrast to the cold night air, but you still trembled. Your small hands clung to Leah’s coat, refusing to let go. Leah pulled you against her chest, wrapping both arms securely around you.

“You’re safe now, my girl,” Leah whispered, rubbing slow, soothing circles against your back.

Jordan glanced at the rearview mirror, her brows furrowed in concern, “She looks absolutely freezing, Le.”

“I know,” Leah murmured, shifting to wrap more of her coat around you as she pressed another kiss to your temple, her voice unwavering, “We’ll get her warm as soon as we’re home.”

“Mum? We’re back,” Leah called as she stepped inside, tightening her grip on you.

“Oh, thank God,” Amanda’s voice was laced with relief as she saw you, before turning to Leah with a firm look, “You’d better have not been speeding in the car, Leah Cathrine!”

“What– No! Of course not,” Leah huffed, shaking her head, obviously not going to tell her the truth.

“The way you rushed out of here, I had my doubts…” Amanda raised an eyebrow, “And you’d better have not been speeding with Monkey in the car, either!”

Leah exhaled sharply, not in the mood to argue, “Mum, I need to get Monkey warm. She’s freezing and trembling like a leaf. I’m running her a bath.”

Amanda’s expression softened as she turned to you, “Hi, Monkey.”

“Hi, ‘Manda,” You barely managed a whisper.

“I have an idea,” Amanda crouched slightly, keeping her voice gentle, “How about after your bath when you’re all comfy in pyjamas, I make a hot chocolate? It won’t be as good as David, but I promise it’ll still be pretty great.”

You hesitated before giving a tiny nod, “O…Okay.”

Leah pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “Come on, my girl.” She murmured, leading you upstairs, and guiding you gently while you clung to her.

As soon as you reached the bathroom, you sank onto the closed toilet lid, too cold and drained to move as Leah busied herself with the taps.

The sound of rushing water filled the space, steam curling into the air. Leah turned back to you with a small smile, “Do you want a lot of bubbles? Or just a few?”

You didn’t answer. You just stared into space, you didn’t know what to say.

Leah watched you carefully, her heart aching at how small you looked, curled in on yourself, trembling. She kept her voice soft, and gentle, “Monkey?”

You blinked slowly, still shivering before shrugging a little, “A… A lot?”

“A lot of bubbles, coming right up,” Leah smiled and poured in a generous amount of bubble bath and sat on the edge of the tub, swirling her hand in the warm water as the bubbles grew. She glanced over, taking in the sight of you–curled in on yourself while sitting on the toilet lid, your arms wrapped tightly around you, and looking so small.

“I’ll let you get in, yeah?” Leah murmured, standing up and wiping her hands on her joggers, “I’ll be in my bedroom if you need me.”

You nodded stiffly with your gaze fixed on the tiled floor. Leah hesitated, waiting to see if you’d say anything else, but when you remained silent, she turned towards the door.

“W… Wait,” Leah’s hands were about to grip the handle when your voice, small and hesitant, stopped her.

Leah turned back immediately, “You okay, my girl?”

Your fingers curled into the hem of your football shorts. You swallowed, not meeting her eyes.

“Can you… Can you stay outside? On… on the other side of the door?” You mumbled.

Leah’s expression softened, “Of course, Monkey. Whatever you need,” She said, before stepping outside, pulling the door almost closed but leaving a small gap, just enough to show you she was still there.

You heard her settle against the wall, the quiet rustle of fabric as she sat down.

Taking a shaky breath, you forced yourself to move, peeling off your kit piece by piece. Your body ached as you climbed into the tub, the heat of the water making your bruises sting. You hissed, biting your lip as you sank lower.

The warmth helped, but it didn’t take away the exhaustion that weighed on you, nor the way your limbs felt too heavy.

For a few minutes, you just sat there, knees drawn up, letting the water lap at your skin. But then, as you reached for the shampoo bottle, your hands trembled.

You poured some into your palm and hesitated. The moment you tried to lift your arms, you felt a sharp, searing pain shoot through your ribs.

You sucked in a breath, wincing, “Ow,” You whimpered in pain.

You tried again, but your limbs felt weak. Useless.

The frustration burned behind your eyes and your throat tightened.

You hated this.

You hated feeling this weak.

Your fingers clenched into a fist, nails digging into your palm. But no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t do it.

And the worst part? You knew you wanted–needed the help.

But if you called Leah in… then she’d see the dark, ugly marks trailing along your ribs, your back and arms.

You knew she’d see the proof of everything–You didn’t want to see her face when she looked at you, and you didn’t want her to see how broken you were.

But your arms hurt. Your ribs ached. And no matter how much you willed yourself to move, you couldn’t.

“L… Le,” Your voice wavered, a lump formed in your throat, ”I… I need help.”

The door opened instantly, and Leah stepped in, her movements were quick but careful.

But the second she took in the sight of you–curled up in the tub, your arms wrapped around yourself and the bruises littering your skin–she froze.

“Oh…” Leah’s breath hitched, “Oh my God,” She looked horrified as a storm flashed behind her eyes, something dark, something furious.

Until her gaze flickered back to you, and she saw how small you looked. How vulnerable.

Leah inhaled sharply through her nose, forcing herself to push the anger aside. That could wait. Right now, you needed her.

“I… I need your help to wash my hair,” You stuttered out.

“Alright, my girl,” Leah murmured, kneeling beside the tub, “That’s not a problem. Lets’ get your hair washed, yeah?”

You nodded wordlessly.

Leah rolled her sleeves up, scooping some water in her hands before gently wetting your hair. Her touch was light, and delicate, as if she was afraid you might shatter under her hands.

Working in silence, Leah carefully lathered the shampoo before rinsing it out. Her fingers gently massaged your scalp, slow and soothing. She could feel the tension in your body, the way you were still curled in on yourself.

She didn’t rush. She didn’t push. She just kept moving, steady and calm.

When she finished, she grabbed a towel and held it open, “Come on then, out you get, my girl.”

You hesitated, but eventually, you let her wrap you up, her arms tightening just slightly around you.

Leah pressed a kiss to the top of your damp hair, “I’ve got you, my girl.”

“You get dressed, yeah? I’ll be outside the door. I’m not going far,” Leah reassured gently, her voice softer than usual.

“O… Okay. Do… Don’t go far,” You mumbled, clutching the pyjamas she handed you.

“I won’t, my girl. I promise,” Leah promised you before moving to step outside of the bedroom door, closing it with a quiet click before leaning against it. She pressed her back against the door as she tried to steady her breathing. Her hands clenched into fists at her sides, nails digging into her palms. 

The image of your bruised skin, the way you had flinched when she touched you–it was burned into her mind, and the rage in her chest only grew heavier with each passing second.

How could he do that to you? 

You were so young. You were small. You didn’t deserve any of this. Swallowing hard, Leah tried to keep it together. But when she heard footsteps on the stairs, she didn’t even need to look up to know it was Jordan.

The moment Jordan reached the landing and caught sight of Leah’s face, she knew there was something wrong.

“Le,” Jordan’s voice was cautious as she stepped forward, “Hey, what’s wrong?” She asked, stepping closer.

Leah let out a sharp, ragged breath, her whole body vibrating with tension. And then, suddenly, it all came spilling out.

“She’s covered in bruises, Jord,” Her voice cracked, and she slammed a fist against the wall beside her, “Fucking covered in them. That bastard–”

Jordan’s jaw tightened, “Leah–”

“No, don’t,” Leah’s voice wavered, her eyes burning with fury, “If you’re going to tell me to calm down then I don’t want to fucking hear it,” She turned on Jordan, her whole body trembling.

“I wasn’t going to,” Jordan murmured, exhaling a sigh and without hesitation, pulled Leah into a hug.

And just like that, Leah broke. The anger, the fear, the helplessness–it all came crashing down at once, and before she could stop it, she was sobbing into Jordan’s shoulder.

Jordan didn’t say anything. She just held on, letting Leah get it all out.

“I swear to God, if I ever see him again, I won’t be able to stop myself,” Leah whispered, her voice shaking, “I’ll fucking kill him, Jordan. He hurt her. He hurt our Monkey. And she was too scared to tell anyone about it. I knew it was bad… but fuck, I didn’t know it was this bad!”

Leah’s breath hitched, the anger cracking into something else–something raw and broken. She ran a shaky hand through her hair, blinking back the tears that blurred her vision.

“She’s here now,” Jordan told her, squeezing Leah a bit tighter, “With us. And she’s not going back.”

Leah nodded sharply, exhaling through gritted teeth, “I need to make the call to social services. I need to tell them that she is here.”

Jordan hesitated for a moment, “If you think that is the right thing to do.”

“As much as I don’t want to, I have to,” Leah muttered, voice thick with emotion, “I have to play by their rules.”

Jordan sighed, rubbing a hand over her face, “At least make the call when Monkey is settled and in bed. She’s been through enough today.”

Before Leah could respond, the door behind her cracked open.

You stood there, small and hesitant, wrapped in the warmth of the pyjamas and fluffy socks that Leah had brought you earlier in the week. They were slightly too big, but that only made them cosier.

Jordan’s face softened instantly, “Hey, speak of the devil. How’re you doing, little one?”

You hesitated, “Were you… Were you guys talking about me?”

Leah forced a small smile, crouching down to your level, “We’re just concerned about you, my girl. We’re going to do everything we can to make sure you’re safe.”

Your eyes darted between them, uncertainty clouding your expression, “I… I don’t want to go back there.”

“No, no,” Leah’s stomach twisted as she reached out, brushing a hand over your arm, “Not if I can help it.”

Tears welled in your eyes, “H… He scares me, Le.”

Leah’s heart ached at the broken whisper. She cupped your cheek gently, “I know, my girl. I know you are. But I’m going to do my very best to make sure that doesn’t happen, alright?”

“O… Okay,” You hesitated, giving a tiny nod.

“Right then,” Jordan sensed the shift in mood and clapped her hands together with a grin, “I know for a fact there’s a hot chocolate downstairs with your name on it.”

The change in your expression was instant. The tension in your shoulders eased slightly, and for the first time in what felt like forever, there was a genuine flicker of happiness in your eyes.

“Wow. That looks great, Monkey!” Amanda praised, smiling warmly at you as she admired the LEGO set you had just finished assembling.

“T… Thanks,” You stuttered, your fingers fidgeting slightly with one of the pieces, “Can I build another set?”

“Yeah, we should!” Jacob chipped in eagerly, already reaching for another box.

Leah glanced at the clock, her expression shifting slightly. It was only 8:30 pm. Tomorrow was going to be long enough without you staying up for longer.

“It’s getting a bit late now. Let’s put it aside for now and you can continue it tomorrow, can’t you?” Leah suggested, bracing herself for the inevitable protest.

“Nooo,” You whined, shaking your head stubbornly. Your grip on the LEGO tightened.

“Mhm, I think so. Judging by the tiredness in your eyes and the whining, it might be bedtime, hm?” Leah teased, arching a brow.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “N… No, not yet! I’m still buildin’ LEGO, Le!”

Leah didn’t waver, pursing her lips, “And it’ll still be there for you tomorrow. It’s not going anywhere.”

You pretended to ignore her, prying open another set, hands moving faster.

“Monkey,” Leah gave you a warning look.

“It won’t take long to do!” You insisted, ignoring her gaze and emptying the contents of the LEGO on the carpet.

Leah exhaled a sigh, shaking her head, “Er no, I don’t think so madam,” Gently attempting to retrieve the LEGO set out of your hands, “I’ve already said no.”

You glared at her, hugging the LEGO set to your chest like it was a lifeline, “You’re being mean!”

“That’s okay to think that,” Leah replied, keeping her voice calm, “But it’s been a very long day. I know you’re tired now, aren’t you?”

“Give it back!” You whined, your voice growing sharper as you snatched the LEGO back from Leah.

Leah sucked in a surprise breath. That was new.

“Monkey,” Leah said firmly, shocked where this sudden misbehaviour had come from, “You don’t snatch. I’ve already said no, three times now. It’s bedtime.”

Your heart pounded. Bedtime meant quiet, and quiet meant your thoughts creeping in. The darkness, the loneliness–it was too much.

You shook your head quickly, refusing to let go of the LEGO set. You went as far as to rip open one of the packets, sending the small bricks spilling onto the floor.

“Hey, little one,” Jordan stepped in with a gentle but firm look, “I think it would be a good idea if we listened and put the LEGO away for tonight, yeah?”

“Don’t wanna,” You murmured, tearing into the next packet as though the plastic was a distraction from the lump in your throat, “I don’t need to go to bed.”

Leah exhaled a sigh, wordlessly collecting the spilled pieces from the carpet.

“Leah!” You turned and shot her a glare, “I was building that!” You shouted, voice shaking more than you wanted it to.

“And I’ve already told you–not tonight,” Leah said, still gentle but unwavering as she placed the LEGO out of reach, “I think you need to start using your listening ears, my girl.”

“No, I don’t want to go to bed. I want to build more LEGO!” Your voice rose in panic as you threw yourself onto the floor.

Leah didn’t bat an eyelid. She was more prepared for the emotional outburst while Jordan and Amanda exchanged shocked glances, and Jacob sat frozen, confused.

“It’s bedtime, Monkey,” Leah repeated, watching as she watched you have a complete meltdown in the space of less than five minutes.

“Sweetheart,” Amanda tried a more gentle approach, “I know today’s been a lot. I think getting a good night’s sleep might help, don’t you?” She tried her luck to get you to listen.

“No! I don’t wanna go to bed,” You mumbled, barely glancing in Amanda’s direction, “I don’t want to!”

Leah rubbed her temples, this was completely different to how it had been earlier on. The exhaustion of the day was catching up to all of them, but especially you, “Right, come on, enough of this. Bed, now.”

“I don’t wanna,” You whined, not making any attempt to get up from the floor.

Leah sighed, but this time, she softened slightly, crouching down next to you, “Monkey, listen to me.”

You turned away, arms crossed, “I… I’m not going! You can’t make me!”

“I know bedtime might feel a bit scary tonight,” Leah murmured, rubbing your back for a moment before gently taking your hand, “But you’re safe now. You’re not alone. I’ll be right there, okay?”

“No!” You screamed.

Leah didn’t hesitate, “Alright, that’s enough,” She murmured, scooping you up off the floor in one swift motion, “Bedtime, now.”

You let out a yelp of surprise, “B… But Le–”

“No buts,” Leah’s voice was firm, her grip secure as she held you against her hip, “It’s clear that you’re tired, I’m not going to stand here and argue with you about this now, so come on.”

Your pre-teenage attitude was nothing Leah or Jordan were prepared for, in comparison to the 360 mood change.

Your body tensed, but the warmth of being held was grounding. Your limbs twitched in weak protest but ultimately sagging against her.

Leah adjusted you in her arms, rubbing soothing circles into your back, “Come on, now. Let’s say goodnight.”

You huffed, glancing at Jordan, “Night, Jordy.”

“Night, little one,” Jordan smiled softly, ruffling your hair.

You turned to glance in Amanda’s direction, “Night, ‘Manda.”

“Night, sweetheart. Sleep well,” Amanda said kindly.

“Goodnight, Monkey!” Jacob grinned, peering up from his phone.

“Night, J,” You grumbled, slumping your shoulders. Then, desperate for another delay, you blurted, “Wait! I need to say goodnight to Bella!”

Jordan chuckled in amusement, “Pretty sure she’ll follow you up.”

“I’m thirsty,” You tried next.

“Oh, how convenient,” Jordan teased, rolling her eyes, “I’ll bring one up to you in bed.”

“Hello! I’m home!” David called as he stepped inside the house.

Your eyes lit up. A perfect distraction, “David’s home!”

“Oh, I thought I heard your voice,” The older man smiled, stepping into the room, “Well, this is a nice surprise having you here. Are you here for the night?”

“I’m just trying to get her up to bed but it’s proving difficult,” Leah said, shifting her grip on you as she shared a playful knowing look with David, “Maybe you’d have better luck?”

“You heard Le, time for bed champ,” David ruffled your hair, gesturing in the direction of the stairs.

Your face scrunched in defeat, “Fine.”

Leah hid a smile, carrying you up the stairs to stop you from making an escape,  “I’ll be back down once she’s settled.”

“You sound very grown up,” Jacob snickered.

Leah huffed, rolling her eyes, “Shut it, you.”

“Do I even want to ask what that was about?” David chuckled, amusedly, glancing at Amanda.

“Probably not, no,” Amanda responded.

“Sounds like Leah has her work cut out for her tonight,” David noted.

“Teenagers,” Jacob quipped.

“Speak for yourself,” Jordan laughed as she got up off the sofa to go make you a glass of water per your request.

“That’s not the way to the bathroom, last time I checked,” Leah noted with a raised eyebrow. She’s placed you back down on the floor once she was sure you wouldn’t try to make a break for it.

You ignored her completely, your focus snapping to something familiar on the bed. A rush of relief flooded through you as you darted into your temporary bedroom, eyes wide with excitement, “My monkey!” You gasped, snatching up the stuffed toy you thought you’d lost forever.

Leah’s stern expression softened, her arms crossing loosely over her chest as she leaned against the doorframe, “I thought you’d miss it.”

“You found it! I thought… I thought I lost it!” You clutched the plush close to your chest, the comfort of it grounding you in a way you desperately needed.

“Jacob found it on the stairs the night you left. I kept it here safe for you,” Leah explained gently.

You squeezed your stuffed toy tighter, the overwhelming emotions making your throat tighten, “I’ve missed him.”

Leah smiled faintly, “I know.”

But she didn’t give you too much time to get lost in your thoughts, “Right, come on you. Bathroom–go brush your teeth. I want to see those pearly whites,” She instructed, nudging you lightly toward the hallway.

You groaned, dragging your feet, “Pearly whites?”

“It’s just another phrase for teeth,” Leah clarified, walking beside you to make sure you actually follow through.

You begrudgingly brushed your teeth, only because Leah was watching you like a hawk the entire time. When you finished, you hesitantly turned to face her.

“Let’s have a look–” Leah leaned forward dramatically, inspecting your mouth with exaggerated scrutiny, “Ooo,  they’re lovely and shiny.”

You rolled your eyes but giggled despite yourself, “You’re silly.”

“It’s the best way to be,” Leah smirked, following as you wandered back into the bedroom. She pulled back the duvet, patting the mattress, “Right, into bed.”

You didn’t hesitate to crawl under the covers, still clutching your stuffed animal, “I’m not tired.”

Leah gave you a knowing look, “I think we both know that’s not true.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “It’s too early to go to sleep.”

“It might be usually, but you’ve had such a long day, and tomorrow is going to be just as busy,” Leah reasoned, keeping her tone of voice soft but firm, “I just want to make sure you’ve had enough rest.”

You frowned, “J’s still awake, though.”

“Well, J is a little bit older than you, isn’t he?” Leah reminded you.

“Not fair–” You shifted restlessly, then suddenly sat up, “I’m hungry! Can I have a biscuit?”

Leah exhaled a sigh, “You’ve already eaten dinner, and you had pudding as well. And chocolate. I think if you have any more, you’re going to end up with a bit of a tummy ache, won’t you?”

You pouted, “Please, Le?”

“No, Monkey,” Leah remained firm on her decision, “Come on now, it’s time to sleep.”

You flopped back onto the pillow with a dramatic groan, “How can I sleep if I’m not tired?”

“You have to close your eyes and try,” Leah smirked, tucking you in, “Now, any more questions?”

Silence lingered for a moment before you blurted out your next question, “How much do sharks weigh?”

Leah blinked at the sudden change of topic, “I… I don’t know.”

“That’s no good,” You let out an exaggerated sigh, “I thought you were supposed to be smart.”

Leah snorted, shaking her head, “I am smart, Monkey. But I don’t just have random shark facts stored in my brain.”

You frowned, “Well, Google it, then. Duh.”

Leah shot you a pointed look just as Jordan appeared in the doorway, holding a glass of water.

“Still fighting the bedtime battle?” Jordan teased, handing the glass over.

“Just a bit,” Leah deadpanned before turning back to you. She arched an eyebrow, “Alright, little miss attitude, why don’t you tell me the real reason you don’t want to sleep, hm?”

You hesitated, fiddling with the hem of the duvet, “I… I’m just not tired,” You muttered.

Jordan lingered for a moment, watching the exchange before giving Leah a knowing look. She knew you’d settle faster with just one person in the room, “I’ll leave you to it,” She murmured before quietly slipping out, pulling the door ajar behind her.

Leah waited until she was gone before lowering herself onto the edge of the bed, “Come on, Monkey. This is me you’re talking to. What’s really going on?”

Your throat tightened as you clutched your stuffed animal closer, “I… I don’t want to sleep. What if… I… I…” You struggled to get the words out.

Leah’s expression softened, “You can do it, my girl. Tell me how you’re feeling. I’m listening to you.”

“I… I don’t want you to leave me,” You said, tears pricking at your eyes.

“I’m right here, my girl,” Leah’s heart clenched, “I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to be scared about that.”

“You promise?” You asked, holding out your pinky finger.

Leah wrapped her own pinky around yours, “I promise, Monkey. You’re staying here with me, I’m going to make sure of it this time,” She told you, “I love you so much, my girl.”

Your lips wobbled slightly before you whispered, “I love you too, Le.”

Leah smiled, leaning forward and running a hand through your hair, “I don’t want you to go through any more hurt or pain, and I’m going to fight to protect you. I messed up before, but I won’t let it happen this time.”

Without any hesitation, you leaned forward and threw your arms around her, “I was… I was so scared. I thought he would find me before you both arrived. I didn’t… I didn’t want him to find me.”

“I know you were,” Leah murmured, gently continuing to run her hands through your hair as she held you close, “But you’re safe now. You’re with us, and nothing is going to hurt you anymore. We’ll always keep you safe, I promise.”

You buried your face into her chest, feeling the warmth of her embrace wrapping around you like a shield, “I… I didn’t want him to hurt me. I thought he… I thought he would, Le,” Tears begin to flow, a flood of emotions finally pouring out all at once, “I don’t want to go back there–I don’t want to!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re here now, you’re here with us, and I won’t ever let him hurt you again. Okay?” Leah fought to push down her own anger, focusing instead on comforting you as she held you tight, letting you cry in her arms.

You sniffled, still not fully able to shake the fear that had gripped you, but slowly, you relaxed yourself into her arms.

Leah gently wiped away a tear from your cheek, her heart aching at the vulnerability you were showing. She held you tighter for a moment, feeling her protectiveness instincts surge as she kissed the top of your head, “I won’t let him hurt you again, I promise. No one is ever going to hurt you again,” She whispered, her voice low and soothing.

Eventually, after a few minutes, Leah pulled back just enough to look at your face, “You’re so strong, Monkey,” She said softly, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead, “And I’m so proud of you. You know that?”

You looked up at her, your eyes wide and vulnerable. You didn’t have the words, but you nodded slowly, feeling comforted by the tenderness in her eyes.

With a final reassuring squeeze, Leah helped you settle back onto your pillows, smoothing the covers around you, “I’ll stay right here until you fall asleep, okay?” She said, her voice a gentle murmur as she tucked you in snugly, “Do you want me to read you a story?” She teased.

And to Leah’s surprise, you nodded, “I want that book,” You mumbled tiredly, pointing to the familiar book cover of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone resting on the nightstand.

Leah grinned, picking up the book and flipping it open to the first page, "Mr and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much,” She began, glancing down at you with a mischievous smile, “I don’t know about that now, do you?” She joked, her playful manner still in her voice.

You were too tired to respond, but you listened to the rhythm of her voice, the warmth of it enough to make you feel safe as your eyelids began to flutter shut.

Leah, absorbed in the book, glanced down at you and noticed your half-asleep state, “I think that’s enough reading for tonight," She murmured with a soft smile, gently closing the book and careful not to disturb the peace of the room, “Sweet dreams, my girl.” She whispered, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head.

“Night, Le,” You mumbled, your eyes barely open as you clutched your stuffed Monkey tightly in your arms, “Love you.”

“I love you too, Monkey,” Leah smiled softly, standing up from the bed, ready to turn off the bedside light.

“No, don’t,” You panicked slightly, your voice small, “Can you… Can you leave it on, please?”

“Of course,” Leah replied with a warm nod, her heart softening at the request. She left the room quietly, pulling the door ajar just enough so she could hear if you woke up and needed her. She lingered in the doorway for a moment, watching over you until you fell asleep.

You were safe. You were home.

“She’s finally asleep,” Leah murmured as she walked back into the living room, exhaustion evident in her posture as she flopped down on the sofa beside Jordan, “I wasn’t prepared for that battle tonight.”

“You handled it well, Bubba,” Amanda reassured her with a soft smile, “I was just filling your dad in on everything that happened today.”

David hummed in disapproval, “She went off to sleep okay?”

Leah nodded as she took a seat, her eyes softening as she thought about the moment she’s just shared with you, “Yeah, she’s asleep now. Took a little while, but she’s settled now.”

Jordan glanced up from where she was sitting, a warm, knowing smile on her face, “It’s good that she’s getting some rest. It’s been a long day.

David let out a low sigh, still not entirely convinced about the situation, “I just don’t like how all of this is affecting her. It’s not right, Leah.”

Leah met his gaze, her expression firm but compassionate, “I know, I don’t like it either but I’m going to do everything I can in my power to make sure she’s safe. I’m not going to fail this time.”

Jacob looked up from his phone briefly, his casual demeanor replaced by something more serious, “I’m glad she’s got you both. It sucks what she’s been throgh,” He paused for a moment before his eyes shifted back to the screen, “But is she… okay?”

Leah exhaled softly, a slight frown tugging at her lips, “She will be. It’s just going to take a bit of time. But we’ll help her get there, one step at a time.”

“We’re here to support you, Bubba,” Amanda gave Leah a reassuring glance, “You’re not going to be alone in this. She’s got a solid support system. That counts for something.”

Leah smiled faintly, looking down at her hands for a moment, “Yeah…I just want to protect her from everything that’s happened. All of it,” Her voice softened with the weight of her words, “I won’t let anyone hurt my kid again.”

“I know you won’t,” David’s expression softened a little, though still edged with concern.

“Do you think the hot chocolate helped?” Amanda joked, shifting to keep the atmosphere in the room light with a playful smile.

“It might’ve done the trick,” Leah said with a tired grin.

“Not as good as mine, I bet,” David said with a knowing look.

Amanda shot him a playful glance, “I tried my best.”

“Did you find out what that meltdown was all about earlier?” Jordan asked, curiously.

Leah exhaled a sigh, running her hand through her hair, “Yeah… she didn’t want to sleep, because she was afraid that I would leave her. She thought that tomorrow morning she’ll have to go back to her dad’s house.”

“I see,” Jordan replied, exhaling a matching sigh, “She’s a good kid, ain’t she? She doesn’t deserve any of this.”

“That scumbag never deserved her,” Leah spat, her anger resurfacing now that you were asleep, and she didn’t have to hold back.

Amanda placed a calming hand on Leah’s arm, “Bubba, I know you’re angry, but lashing out isn’t going to help.”

“Your mum’s right, sweetheart,” David added gently.

Amanda gave her a sad smile, “We need to think about what happens next, don’t we?”

Leah nodded, her thoughts already shifting to the practical next steps, “I know. I need to call Monkey’s social worker,” She mumbled, not exactly thrilled to have that conversation, but it was necessary.

It was now or never.

Leah dialed the number, her fingers hovering nervously over the screen before she placed the call, “Hello, this is Leah Williamson. I need to talk to a social worker about an ongoing case.”

“Is Monkey going to live with us now?” Jacob piped in, his voice tinged with curiosity.

“We don’t know that yet, son,” David replied with a heavy sigh, trying to follow Leah’s conversation as she explained the situation briefly.

When Leah hung up, she exhaled in relief, setting her phone down on the sofa, “They’re sending someone round tomorrow afternoon to talk to us.”

Jordan nodded, rubbing a hand over her face, “Alright. That’s good.”

Leah’s expression darkened again, “She doesn’t have anything here. Other than her pyjamas which I brought her, and her football kit, she doesn’t have clothes–nothing.”

“She didn’t have a bag with her?” David asked, frowning.

“No, she came here with clothes on her back,” Leah replied, “She’s going to need more. She needs… just– she needs stuff. Jord, go to Tesco. Grab what you can. Anything she might need.”

Jordan blinked in surprise, “Uh–what stuff?”

Leah huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration, “Clothes, Jord. Pyjamas. Socks. Toothbrush. Just… I don’t know. Whatever she needs. Just get it.”

Jordan shifted awkwardly, “What size is she?”

Leah groaned, rubbing her temples, “I don’t fucking know–just guess, Jord. Use your common sense!”

“Leah!” Amanda snapped, her voice sharp, “We know you’re frustrated, but don’t swear at Jordan. We have raised you better than that.”

“I… I’m sorry,” Leah quickly apologised, her anger deflating with the reprimand.

“You need to take a minute to calm down,” Amanda told her firmly, standing up and grabbing her car keys, “Look, Jord and I will go to Tesco now and grab some essentials for her. You stay here, in case Monkey needs you, okay?”

Leah nodded, finally taking a deep breath as her frustration gave way to exhaustion, “Thanks, Mum.”

“I’m coming!” Jacob insisted, wasting no time to grab his trainers, “She needs snacks. Food always helps when you’re feeling sad, don’t it?”

Amanda chuckled, nodding in agreement, “You’re right there, son. Come on then.”

“I know you’re frustrated, sweetheart, but you have to stay calm,” David told her as the two of them sat alone in the room, “You won’t be any good to Monkey if you’re letting your anger get the best of you.”

“I know, Dad. I just… I don’t want to let her down. I can’t let it happen. Not again,” Leah’s voice trembled with emotion.

David nodding in understanding, reaching forward to squeeze Leah’s knee in reassurance, “Just… don’t burn yourself out trying to fix it all at once.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Leah met his gaze, a small but grateful smile playing on her lips, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“This will be worth it in the end,” He added with a teasing grin, “Mind you, I never imagined your mum and I would become grandparents so young.”

“Le?” Jordan shifted, waking up to find Leah awake, “How long have you been–”

“Can you hear that?” Leah cut her off, gesturing to the faint nose in the background, “It sounds like…” Her words were cut short by a blood-curdling scream that shattered the night.

Leah’s heart stopped for a moment before it began racing in her chest. She shot up in bed, the panic rising in her throat, her instincts already pulling her towards the door. Jordan, Amanda and David were right behind her.

“Monkey!” Leah yelled, as she hurried into the hallway, her feet pounding against the wooden floor.

Jacob appeared out of his bedroom, half-asleep, he looked confused, “What’s that noise?”

David placed his hand on Jacob’s shoulder, “I think Monkey had a nightmare. You should go back to sleep, it’s late and you have school tomorrow,” He told him with a knowing look, “Your  sister has it under control.”

Leah burst into the room, her eyes immediately finding you thrashing under the duvet, your cries raw and panicked as you gasped for breath between sobs. Your arms flailed, hands twisting into fists as you kicked at the sheets, trying to escape something only you could see.

“Monkey! Monkey, it’s okay! You’re safe,” Leah’s voice was firm but gentle as she reached for you, but the moment her fingers brushed against your arm, you recoiled violently, another piercing scream ripping from your throat.

Jordan winced at the sound, glancing at Amanda with wide, uncertain eyes, “She’s not awake.”

“Shh, sweetheart, we’re here,” Amanda’s voice was soothing as she flicked on the lamp, casting a warm glow over the room.

Your chest heaved, breaths coming too fast, too shallow. You didn’t like the light. It was too bright, too sudden. You curled in on yourself, hands flying to your ears as a whimper escaped your lips. The noise, the movement–it was all too much.

Leah crouched beside you, hands resting on her knee and making sure she wasn’t too close, “Monkey, it’s me. It’s Le,” She said softly, “You’re safe. You’re at home, my girl.”

At the sound of her voice, your head jerked up, eyes wild and unfocused, “He… He was–” You breath hitched as your face crumpled.

“I know, my girl,” Leah’s heart clenched, nodding slowly, “But he’s not here. I promise, you’re safe.”

You let out a broken sob, still trembling, your whole body buzzing with restless energy. Leah hesitated only for a moment before reaching forward again. Only this time you didn’t flinch away when she gently wrapped her arms around you, pulling you against her chest.

“I… It was real–It felt so real,” You whimpered, clutching at her like she might disappear.

“You’re okay,” Leah murmured, rocking you slightly, “Breath with me, yeah? In… and out…”

You tried, but your breaths were still shallow, your body still twitching like you needed to move–like you couldn’t stop moving. Leah ran a hand up and down your back, grounding you.

“Feel my breathing, Monkey. Can you match mine?” Leah encouraged.

Slowly, you did. Your fingers fidgeted with the hem of Leah’s shirt as your gasps evened out, your body sagging against her as exhaustion started creeping back in.

“I’m sleepy,” You mumbled, voice thick with tears.

Leah nodded, adjusting you slightly so you were more comfortable, “I know, Monkey. I’ve got you.”

She felt it immediately–the dampness seeping through your pyjamas.

Your whole body tensed as you realised what had happened.

“I… I didn’t mean to… I–” Your voice came out small, barely above a whisper.

Leah didn’t let you finish, “It’s okay,” She said simply, squeezing you a little tighter, “You got scared, that’s all. It’s not a big deal, I promise.”

But you wouldn’t meet her eyes, curling in on yourself.

“I didn’t even feel it,” You mumbled.

“I know, my girl,” Leah soothed, “That happens sometimes when you have a really bad nightmare. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Amanda, still standing in the doorway, gave Leah a soft nod and quietly went to grab clean sheets. Jordan followed, muttering something about getting you some water.

“Come on,” Leah coaxed gently, “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

You hesitated, but when Leah stood and offered her hand, you took it. She helped you into the bathroom, running warm water and handing you a fresh pair of pyjamas from the improvised late night Tesco shopping trip that Jordan, Amanda and Jacob went way too overboard on clothes and toys.

Leah never rushed you, she didn’t make a big deal out of it, but instead she just talked to you softly about Coco Pops and the cartoons you could watch in the morning.

Your fear returned when it was time to return to your bedroom. The thought of being alone again sent a shiver down your spine. You clung to Leah’s arm, trembling as you shook your head, tears still clinging to your lashes, “I… I don’t want to go back. Please don’t make me.”

Leah’s heart twisted at the sight of you, “You’re okay, my girl. You can go back to bed, it’s safe now.”

You didn’t budge, you shook your head, your body trembling with exhaustion and fear, “N… No. Please… Please don’t leave me,” The words were barely above a whisper, desperate. Your lip wobbled as fresh tears welled in your eyes.

Leah crouched down, gently brushing a strand of hair from your face, “Hey, you’re not alone. I’m right here, I promise,” She murmured, her voice thick with emotion, “I tell you what–tonight, you can sleep with me and Jordy tonight, just for tonight, okay?” Ultimately she would have preferred for you to go back to sleep in your bed, but she could tell how shook up you still were, and making sure you were okay was the priority right now.

You nodded quickly, your whole body sagging with relief. You felt safe, finally. You didn’t care that you were 12 or that this was probably a little silly–right now, all you wanted was to feel loved, protected, and not alone.

Leah gave you a gentle time as she helped you into bed, “We have a guest joining us tonight,” She said to Jordan, glancing up at her as she settled beside you.

Jordan’s eyes softened, a fond smile tugging at her lips as she watched you curl up close to Leah, “I see that,” She replied, her voice warm, “Hi, little one.”

Your thumb found its way to your mouth instinctively. Your fingers trembling as you sucked it in, a habit you hadn’t relied on in a long time, but right now, it brought a sense of comfort that nothing else could.

Leah’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you close against her chest, “You’re safe with us, Monkey. I’ve got you, my girl. You can close your eyes and sleep now,” She said, her fingers stroking your hair.

“M’ sleepy,” You mumbled, your eyes fluttered closed, the warmth of Leah’s embrace making you feel like everything would be okay, even if just for tonight.

The rhythmic beat of Leah’s heart and the steady sound of Jordan’s breathing surrounded you like a cocoon, and eventually, you drifted off to sleep, wrapped in the safety of their arms.

“Le, can I… I have cereal for breakfast?” You asked, excitedly as you bounded into the kitchen still dressed in your pajamas, your hair wild like a lion’s mane, “You promised I could!”

“Of course you can, Monkey. You can have anything that you want,” Leah replied, the tiredness evident in her own voice.

Your eyes lit up, “Even Coco pops?”

Leah smiled and nodded, “Even Coco pops.”

“Yeah!” You exclaimed, bouncing on your toes.

Despite the nightmare from the night before, you were up and ready at 7 am, wide awake. Leah, reluctantly getting up with you, switched on the TV for morning cartoons while she made you the promised bowl of Coco Pops.

You sat on the spinny chair in the kitchen, pushing it back and forth, spinning in circles, “Why did Jordy stay in bed? She’s missing out on Spongebob!” You giggled, pointing at the screen. 

“I’m not missing out, I’m just avoiding the early morning Spongebob chaos,” Jordan appeared in the doorway, her voice groggy but playful, “Besides, if I have to listen to Spongebob’s laugh one more time before coffee, I might just turn into Plankton.”

Leah chuckled softly, shaking her head at Jordan’s antics, “Jordy isn’t much of a fan of early mornings,” She explained, “Do you want a bit of milk or a lot of milk?”

“Hm, not too much. It’ll make the cereal yucky!” You scrunched your face in mock disgust as you inspected the milk bottle.

It was remarkable to see how quickly your joy had returned, despite the nightmare that had shaken you both in the middle of the night. Leah had hardly slept, and neither had you. Your scream had woken up the entire house, sending everyone into a flurry of concern, but now, here you were, laughing over breakfast.

Leah sat at the kitchen table, fingers tapping anxiously against the wood. Jordan was across from her, just as tense but they both kept a brave face for you as you sat opposite them, oblivious and munching on your breakfast.

You stared at your bowl, then looked at them, your thoughts turning inward. You knew it was Monday. On Mondays, you always went to school. So why weren’t you today?

“So, Monkey,” Leah began the difficult conversation, keeping her voice soft, “Today, someone is going to come round from social services to talk to us–well, to you.”

“Why?” You asked, your stomach dropping at the unfamiliarity of the situation.

“Because it’s important that it happens I’m afraid,” Leah replied softly, but there was something about the way she said it that made you feel uneasy.

Your eyes widened in fear, instant panic taking over your face, “No, no… They’re just going to send me back to my dad's!”

“They’re not. I won’t let them, okay?” Leah shook her head quickly, her voice firm but gentle, “Not this time. We’ll talk to them, we’ll explain everything that happened, okay? There’s no need to be scared.”

“O… Okay,” You whispered, the fear still gripping your chest.

You really didn’t understand, but you didn’t want to ask again. You hated it when people didn’t answer your questions the way you wanted them to. It felt… off. You didn’t know why, but it made your stomach twist in a way you didn’t like.

“Eat your breakfast before it goes cold, little one,” Jordan encouraged, trying to lift your spirits. 

You giggled, poking your spoon around in your bowl, “It’s cereal, Jordy. It’s already cold.”

“Of course, silly me,” Jordan smiled at you, her voice light, trying to coax a smile from you.

Leah shook her head with a fond smile, “What’s she like, eh?”

“Silly!” You said, a genuine smile spreading across your face as you took another spoonful of your cereal.

By the time lunch had rolled around, the house was filled with the sounds of laughter and light-hearted jokes. You were sitting on the floor in the living room, building your Lego set, your fingers moving quickly as you pieced together a colourful castle. Leah and Jordan were sitting nearby, Leah with her phone, and Jordan struggling to assemble a poorly designed tower that kept collapsing.

“Jordy, that’s not how you build it!” You giggled, pointing at the mess she was creating, “It’s all wrong! The pieces don’t go like that!”

Jordan pouted, clearly amused by her own failure, “Oh, really? I thought it was a… modern abstract tower, that’s all.”

“Nooo, it’s awful!” You told her, grinning as she made an exaggerated face of frustration, “You have to build it properly!”

Leah laughed softly at the two of you, shaking her head, “You two are something else.”

You giggled mischievously in response, feeling more comfortable with them than you had in so long.

But as you clicked the last piece into place on your Lego creation, a sharp knock on the door interrupted the moment.

Leah stood quietly, her mood shifting as she turned towards the door, “Stay here,” She said, her voice gentle but firm, “I’ll go let them in. It’s going to be fine, yeah?”

You nodded, clutching the Lego piece in your hand, feeling a nervous flutter in your chest, “I’m scared, Jordy,” You turned to look at Jordan for her help.

“Hey,” Jordan shifted to move closer and wrap a protective arm around you, “You don’t need to be scared. Leah and I are going to sort this out. We’re not letting you go this time.”

Leah opened the door before the second knock could land, her eyes immediately locking with the woman standing there. The woman was in her mid-thirties, with an expression that was professional but kind.

“Miss Williamson?” She asked.

Leah’s grip tightened on the doorframe, “Yes.”

“My name is Hannah, and I’m from social services,” The lady introduced herself, showing proof of her ID card.

Leah’s jaw tightened, unfamiliar with this lady, “You’re not Monkey’s… I mean, you’re not the one I spoke to before at social services?”

“I’m afraid her case has been reassigned to me,” Hannah explained, her voice steady but with a trace of sympathy.

Leah stepped aside, her eyes momentarily narrowing with a mix of frustration and concern, “Right. Come in,“ She said, ushering the woman inside, “Monkey is in the living room with my partner.”

The moment the door closed behind them, you stiffened, instinctively shrinking back into your seat on the floor, your eyes darting between the unfamiliar woman and the safety of the room.

“Monkey?” Leah approached you with a cautious look, “This is Hannah. She’s from Social Services, and she’d like to talk to you. Think you can do that?”

You froze, feeling a lump in your throat. You didn’t want to talk to her. Didn’t even want to look at her.

“Hi, Monkey,” Hannah greeted you, though you could hear the professionalism still, “I’m Hannah. It’s nice to meet you.”

You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t. Instead, you focused on your Lego, avoiding eye contact, desperately trying to make yourself small, to disappear into the safety of the pieces in your hand.

“I understand that you stayed here with Miss Williamson and her partner last night, is that right?”

“Her name’s Leah, not Miss Williamson,” You mumbled, your voice barely audible.

“Right, of course. You stayed here last night with Leah, and her partner,” Hannah corrected herself, glancing in Jordan’s direction.

“Jordan,” Jordan answered curtly.

Hannah nodded, making a note of it on her clipboard, “So, you stayed here last night. Can you tell me what happened before that?”

You tensed, shrugging your shoulders and uninterested in talking. Your fingers trembled as they fiddled with a piece of Lego, keeping your eyes downcast. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak–not now. Instead, you scrambled up off the floor and reluctantly glued yourself to Leah, pushing to sit directly in her lap as she wrapped her arms around you protectively.

She wouldn’t force you to talk, not if you weren’t ready.

Jordan noticed your withdrawal and sat up from where she was sitting on the carpet originally beside you to move to sit on the sofa beside you and Leah, “Maybe it would be better if one of us spoke about it?” She suggested, offering you a silent but supportive glance.

Hannah nodded, understanding the hesitation, “That’s perfectly fine,” She agreed, her gaze flicking from you to Leah.

Leah inhaled sharply, her voice steady but filled with an intensity that you hadn’t seen before, “I got the phone call from Monkey last night. She was in distress and needed our help. We found her hiding out on the street, terrified and cold. She didn’t want to go back to her dad. Mark. He’s… He’s been hurting her,” She paused, the words heavy, but she didn’t look away, “I tried to talk to her old social worker, and every time, I was brushed off. And now look what’s happened. I’m not letting her go back to him. That’s not an option.”

Hannah regarded her carefully, her face softening with empathy, though her eyes still remained sharp, “Leah, I understand that you’re worried, but–”

“No, you don’t understand,” Leah’s voice cut through, unwavering, “I’m not letting her go back. She’s staying here. With me. With us.”

“Leah,” Hannah’s eyes softened as she took a slow breath, her clipboard held tightly in her hands, “Legally, there’s a process we have to follow.”

“Then follow it. But you’re not taking her away from me,” Leah responded firmly, her posture rigid as she pulled out her phone, “I’ve got proof. I’ve got everything–pictures, recordings. You need to see what happened. The bruises, the fear in her eyes, the way she recoils at the mention of his name–And last night, she had a nightmare. She was screaming blue murder. I had to get up with her in the middle of the night because she was terrified. She had an accident because she was so fearful. She was shaking when I finally got her back to sleep.”

Hannah’s face paled as she watched the footage, looked at the pictures of the bruises, the evidence unmistakable. Her lips parted, but she didn’t speak right away. Instead, she took a moment, her fingers gripping the clipboard harder.

“I’ll be escalating this immediately,” Hannah murmured, her voice low and serious, “This isn’t something that can just be swept aside.”

Leah exhaled sharply, but relief was short-lived. Hannah wasn’t done yet.

“There will need to be a court process,” She continued, “For now, we can arrange for emergency placement with you both, but a judge will need to approve the custody arrangement.”

Leah clenched her jaw, her heart racing, “And what happens if he tries to fight it?”

“The court will give him a chance to try and change his ways. But…” Hannah explained, her voice dropping in tone, “I’ve seen cases like this before. With the evidence you’ve shown me… I doubt they’ll risk sending her back.”

Leah’s stomach churned, but she nodded, her body tense, still holding onto the hope that you were safe. That she had done the right thing.

And somehow, for once, the system worked. A court order was pushed through, and Leah and Jordan were granted joint custody. Your dad was given a second chance to change–He had been allowed to have supervised visits.

Leah wasn’t thrilled, but at least this way you were safe with them for now.

As you sat in Leah’s lap, still curled up, she leaned down and kissed the top of your head softly, “You’re here, you’re safe. This is exactly what Jean wanted all along.”

Leah held you a little tighter, her arms a protective shield around you, and the words hung in the air for a long moment. Jean had always wished for Leah to have custody of you, to keep you safe from your dad.

Now, it was finally happening. For the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to relax, the fear in your chest easing as you let yourself believe it.

You were safe. You were home.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[menagerofmischief]

sweet as sin -> cl16

main masterlist / navigation

porn star!charles chronicles

tags: everyone's got normal lives (no F1), mentions of porn/OF, very very suggestive (or very light smut idk?), mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex toys

a/n: this is just an introduction to the au. if you have any ideas or things you think would go well with the au, send an ask and lmk <3

“Oh, I don’t know, Gwen!” You said, swirling your straw around in your drink as you eyed the friend. “Other than the fact I’m moving soon, my life is a bit too boring lately. I’m done with dating apps after the last big failure and I just need something interesting to happen!”

“You mean you need to get laid!” She accused, mischief sparkling in her eyes as she giddily sipped her mimosa, already a bit tipsy from all the previously consumed ones. “When was the last time you had a good orgasm?”

You coughed, nearly choking on your drink as you stared at her with wide eyes. “We’re so not talking about this!”

“I’ll take that as a ‘very long ago’,” Gwen said, eyeing you over the rim of her glass. “Just because you’re not dating doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun.”

“Didn’t you hear the part when I said how all the guys are sleazy and disgusting?”

She chuckled, flashing you a smile. “You can have fun on your own. Nothing wrong with that, in fact, it’s my favourite.”

“God,” you laughed, swatting her arm. “You’re definitely too drunk for 12 pm, Gwen.”

However much you tried to push it from your mind and deny, Gwen’s words stuck with you through the rest of the day. A constant echo in the back of your mind that played like a mocking tune whenever you found even a second free.

With a groan you pushed yourself up from your couch, the TV show playing on the screen already long abandoned. In the silence of your apartment you could hear every step you made, every thud of your feet against the ground seemed to echo like a thump of your heart within your chest.

You reached your bedside, eyes narrowed in a glare as you rummaged through the drawer in search of your old vibrator, an unfamiliar sensation stirring in your chest once you finally pulled it out, the thing still fully charged and ready to be used. 

You settled on the bed, head nestled on the pillow as you closed your eyes and tried to tease yourself but it was so damn hard when nothing came to mind. Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip as you reached for your phone, holding it up in a slightly shaky hand you unlocked it and made your way onto the good old trusted … twitter porn.

Your fingers hesitated over a video of a guy. His face was half visible, but his body was in the full picture and he looked sweeter than sin. Hard abs, perfectly toned, arms worth salivating over. Yeah, the guy was made to be pornographic, that you were sure of.

You clicked play, watching as he teasingly ran his hands down his body, wrapping one big hand around his equally as big dick, the sound of his low groaning coming through the speaker.

A sigh slipped past your lips as you mimicked his movement, running your hands down your body, teasingly scraping your nails along your skin before slowly reaching your fingers under the waistband of your shorts.

The video ended just as your fingers reached your clit and a low spark of annoyance ran through you. “Fuck …” you muttured, staring at the replay button. Then the words under the video caught your attention.

Want more? Check out my OF ;)

Next to them was a link. Without thinking twice, or much, you pressed the link, watching as his OnlyFans page loaded up.

You glanced at the vibrator next to you on the bed, Gwen’s words, or more so the “You can have fun on your own,” echoing inside of your head once more.

“Fuck it!” You whispered into the darkness of your room, and then pressed the subscribe button.

taglist: @alenix @briefkittenearthquake @gamesetcheckeredflag @yara011

[angstywaifu]

Treating You Right - Aaric Graycastle

Summary: You and Aaric grew up together, but you never got along. But when you both end up as cadet's in the riders quadrant, he changes. His behaviour for all those years not entirely being how he wanted to treat you. A/N: I had so many requests for another Aaric fic so I kind of just compiled them all into one. So if you sent a request for Aaric, this is for you! Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. Fingering. Unprotected Sex. Use of pet names (sweetheart). Rivals/enemies to lovers. Masterlist | Links

“You’re staring again.” Sloane teases, pulling me from my thoughts or lack there of.

Across the room, Aaric is in the middle of a challenge with another cadet from Third Wing. And as per usual he’s making it look easy. Barely breaking a sweat as he does it. Like he always has. I’m one of the few that knows who he actually is. Cam Tauri. The son of the King. A son I grew up around and never got along with well. He always acted so up himself. Living up to his title. But since being here, he’d changed. Or maybe he was putting on a front all those years.

“I am not.” I snap back as she laughs at me.

”You were. Like you always do. Starting to think you don’t hate him as much as you let on.” She teases again with a knowing smile.

I roll my eyes at her and shake my head. ”Trust me, I hate him.”

”Then why are you staring at him?” She states with a cocked brow. Gods she was too good at reading me. I’d only known her a few weeks and I felt like she knew me better than anyone.

”Figuring out the best way to take him out.” I point out.

She rolls her eyes at me. “I’d believe you if it weren’t for the fact were on the same squad.”

”Maybe I’m waiting till we graduate to take my shot.” I fire back.

She wasn’t wrong though. I had been staring. And not for the reasons I was telling her. If it wasn’t for the fact we disliked each other, I’d be all over Aaric. And I hated that I wanted that. Hated how I’d started noticing him more since we had been here. And being in the same squad, there was no escaping him for the next three years if we both survived that long.

I’m grateful the library is rarely used by other cadets in this Quadrant. It was the one place I could find alone time with all us first years crammed into the same dorm. The one place I could let my guard down and relax. Or so I thought. The sound of the door opening pulls me from the book I’d been reading for Kaori’s class on the different dragons. Footsteps sound around the empty library as whoever it is makes their way further and further into the space. I prayed they were heading towards another spot in the library. But it seems luck was not on my side as the familiar face or Aaric rounds the corner of one of the shelves.

”Oh great, it’s you.” I say with an eye roll, turning my attention back to my book. “To what do I owe this pleasure.”

”Ouch. And here I was coming to you in peace.” He states as he walks over to me and sits down in the chair across the table from me.

”I didn’t say you could sit your highness.” I throw at him, watching as he stiffens at my words before relaxing again. We both know we’re alone, no one nearby to hear me.

”Well someone’s cranky.” He notes, leaning back in the chair as he clasps his hands and rests them in his lap.

I slam my book shut and look up at him. “And someone needs to shut up. I’m trying to study. So unless you need something, you can go.”

”I’m here to apologise.” He tells me as his green eyes pierce into me.

I cock my eyebrow at him. “You? Apologise? Didn’t think you were capable of that.”

He sighs heavily as he turns his head. “Well I am. I had to keep appearances up for my father. Treat certain people a certain way. But I don’t have to anymore. And I wanted to say I’m sorry for how I treated you before we got here. That I wish I could have treated you how I wanted to. Be your friend.”

I scoff and shake my head at him as he turns to look at me again. “Please, don’t pretend you give a shit about me.”

”I’m not pretending. Not anymore.” He tells me as he leans forward, resting his arms on the table.

I just stare at him, unsure how to take what he’s telling me. Part of my wants to grab my things and storm off, not believe a single word he says. But part of me wants to listen to him. Believe what he’s saying. Because part of me knows it’s true. He was never like his older brothers Alic and Halden. They were cruel and harsh, always bullying me. Something Aaric never did. He would say things to me, but nothing like his brothers. In his own way he was being kinder, but doing enough to not arouse suspicion. My family was nothing to his. My father might have been part of his father’s court, but we were nothing to him. And we’re treated as such.

I grab my book, shoving it into my pack before standing up. “Sorry Cam, but I’m going to need more than some apology to prove what you’re saying to me.” I go to walk past him, heading towards the door to take me back into the Quadrant, but he moves quickly, stepping into my path.

”What do you need then?” He asks me sternly as he looks down at me.

”Prove to me you actually didn’t want to treat me that way. Treat me like you actually want to be my friend or ask for whatever it is you want from me.” I tell him.

He furrows his brow. “Why would I want something from you?”

”Because I’m not sure why you have the sudden interest in being my friend after all these years if you don’t have some ulterior motive. Your family hasn’t given me a lot of reasons to want to trust you.” I point out, Aaric nodding his head slowly. “So prove this is not some ploy on your fathers behalf.”

Over the next few weeks Aaric does start to prove it. Not once does he treat me like he use to. Hell, we even manage to have pleasant conversations which come easier to me than I expect, which earns me a few curious looks from Sloane as she takes in mine and Aaric’s new found friendship, if that's what you could even call it. But it doesn’t last long when we’re thrown into chaos. Not even two weeks after we bond our dragons we’re thrown into being part of the rebellion. All of our squad ending up in Aretia with other fliers willing to defend Navarre from the real threat of Venin and Wyvern. And now we all had to rethink everything we’d ever been taught, meaning all of us we’re drained at the end of the day with adjusting to our new routine and relearning everything. Meaning our squad had barely had time to have some down time.

A knock at my door pulls me from my thoughts. Strange. We’d all gone to bed an hour ago, who the hell is knocking at my door at this hour? I chuck the pack I’d taken on our bonding exercise with the Fliers under my bed and walk over to the door. I pull it open, revealing Aaric whose hand is raised again to knock on my door. His bright green eyes locking onto mine immediately. I open my mouth to ask him what's wrong when he rushes forward, his hands grasping my face as he crushes his lips against mine.

I instantly melt into the kiss, hands grasping the front of his shirt as I pull him into my room as he kicks the door closed behind him. His kiss consumes me, my whole body wanting more of him, giving into the thoughts I’d had over the last few months. His hands leave my face, skimming down my body as they glide over the material of the silk night dress I’d changed into for sleep. His fingers play with the edge where it ends at the top of my thighs before grasping my thighs as he picks me up with ease before turning around. He sits on the edge of the bed, settling me in his lap as my legs settle either side of his.

I break the kiss, giggling as Aaric tries to chase my lips and growls in annoyance. He goes to object but stops when he sees me grasp the edge of the nightdress, his green eyes following my movements as I pull the material up my body, leaving me in just the matching panties as I sit in his lap. I turn my eyes back to him as I discard the material to the floor, my cheeks flushing as he just stares at me in awe. On reflex I go to cover myself up, but his hands reach out and grasp my wrists.

”Don’t.” He tells me, his voice rough and commanding. “Don’t ever cover yourself up.”

I just look at him and nod as I lower my arms, resting my hands on his shoulders as his hands caress my skin, leaving goose bumps where he’s been. I lower my hand to the edge of his shirt, Aaric leaning back to give me room to remove the material from him. I’d seen Aaric shirtless before thanks to challenges and various training sessions in the gym. But I can’t help but stare at the toned and defined muscles of his torso as I trace over them with my fingers, causing him to shiver at my touch.

My eyes meet his again, catching the slight smirk on his lips before he kisses me again. It starts off softer, slower. Almost as if he wants to savour the moment. But it doesn’t take long for it to build in intensity. A moan escaping my lips as his hands grips my hips and pull me down on him is his undoing. His fingers digging into my hip as he tilts his head and deepens this kiss as my hand rests against his neck, the other tangling in his hair. My hips rocking back and forth against his, causing his fingers to grip on to my hips tighter, to the point I’m sure they’re going to be bruised tomorrow. I yelp as he flips us over, my back hitting the bed as he looms over me before gripping the matching panties to my night dress and pulling them down my legs.

”Careful Prince, wouldn’t want someone to think you’re impatient.” I tease as he tosses them to the floor.

His eyes raise to mine as he smirks at me while pulling down the linen pants he wears before getting onto the bed, causing me to scramble back to make room for him as I lean back on my arms. He kneels between my legs, shoving them open as he settles between them.

”Trust me sweetheart, I’ve been patient.” He tells me as he looks down at me.

I open my mouth to reply, but a moan comes out instead as he glides his fingers between my legs before toying with my clit. Fucking hell.

”Seems I’m not the only one whose impatient tonight.” He teases as he continues to smirk at me.

My hands fits the sheets as he lowers his fingers and pushes them inside of me. “Fuck me.” I nearly moan out, throwing my head back as he thrusts them in and out.

”Oh, I plan to sweetheart.” He assures me, curling his fingers inside of me.

The room is filled with my moans and heavy breathing as he continues to thrust his fingers in and out, spreading them wider and wider as he goes. I whimper as he pulls them out, my body sagging at the loss of them. I yelp again as he flips me onto my stomach, grabbing my hips and pulling me into a kneeling position as he settles between them, his cock rubbing against me. I cry out when he thrust in, not wasting any time as he slides all the way in, the position I’m in causing him to hit the perfect spot immediately. I’d already been close from just his fingers. There was no way I was lasting long now he was inside me. I look over my shoulder at him as I push myself up on my hands, watching as he looks down at where he slides in and out of me. His green eyes flicker up and meet mine as he bites his bottom lip. Holy shit, that was more attractive than it should be.

”Doing such a good job sweetheart.” He tells me, praising me as he continues to slam into me. “Feel so good.”

”Aaric… please.” I moan out, lowering my head as my body starts to shake, rocking my hips back and forth to meet his thrusts.

”Please what sweetheart? Use your words.” He tells me, his hands gripping my hips as I start to go limp.

”I’m c-close.” I stutter out as my arms give out, my head and upper body resting against the bed.

My whole body feels like it’s on fire, feels like it’s about to combust as I teeter on the edge. Aaric reaches around, his fingers finding my clit and applying pressure. I cry out as my body starts to shake as I tumble over the edge, Aaric drawing out my pleasure as he continues to thrust in and out while using his hand. A few moments later Aaric’s hips still as he falls forward, bracing himself above me as his hands land either side of my head. Both of us gasping for air as we come down from our high.

”You have your own room, right?” Aaric asks after a few moments.

”Y-yes.” I mutter out, doing my best to nod incase he doesn’t hear me.

”Good.”

I feel Aaric move, the bed dipping to my left before his arms wrap around me, pulling me into his side. My body instantly relaxing at his touch. I barely register him placing the blanket over us before falling asleep with my head against his chest.

[meadowfics]

seoah's first sport

father!husband!kang dae ho x f!mother!wife!reader

apart of my 'kang family' series

warnings: none, however I do use the american way of saying football

the morning sun poured into the living room, casting a warm glow over the wooden floors as seo-ah bounced onto the couch beside you, her tiny legs barely able to sit still.

your daughter's face is glowing with excitement, her bunny hugged tightly against her chest as she beamed up at you.

“eomma!” she practically shouted, eyes wide with enthusiasm.

“eomma, i wanna play soccer like my friends at school!”

the school she goes to is a daycare, but I digress.

you blinked, slightly surprised at the sudden outburst, before a fond smile crept onto your lips.

“oh yeah?” you asked, gently tucking a stray hair behind her ear.

“you wanna play soccer?”

she nodded furiously, her little pigtails bouncing with the movement.

“yes! jiho and min-seo play, and they say it’s really fun! they have real teams and everything, eomma! real games and goals!”

you couldn’t help but giggle at her excitement, her entire body practically vibrating as she spoke.

“that sounds amazing, baby. do you want to be on a team too?”

“yes!” she said without hesitation, gripping her bunny a little tighter.

“please, please, please?”

your heart melted at her excitement. she was only four, but her enthusiasm was undeniable.

“okay, okay,” you laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“let me talk to appa about it, and we’ll see what we can do, okay?”

“okay!” she grinned, throwing her arms around your waist before scrambling off the couch, her bunny swinging wildly as she ran off to play.

you watched her go, shaking your head fondly before standing up and heading toward the kitchen, where dae-ho was finishing up his morning coffee.

he was dressed in his usual work-from-home attire, sweatpants and a fitted black t-shirt, his hair slightly tousled from sleep.

he glanced up as you entered, immediately sensing you had something to say.

“what’s that look for?” he asked, smirking as he set his mug down.

you leaned against the counter, crossing your arms.

“seo-ah wants to play soccer.”

he blinked, then let out a small chuckle.

“soccer?”

“mhm,” you nodded, “apparently, a few of her daycare friends are on a mini team, and now she wants to join too.”

dae-ho rubbed the back of his neck, thinking for a moment.

“well… that’s kinda adorable.”

“right?” you laughed, “i mean, she’s only four, but if she really wants to try it, why not?”

he nodded in agreement.

“so, what’s the schedule like for this team?”

you pulled out your phone, glancing at the information the daycare had sent you.

“they practice once a week, and the games are on saturdays.”

he considered this for a moment, taking another sip of his coffee.

“well, since you’re home with the girls, you could take her to practice during the week, and i’ll come to all of her games on saturday.”

your heart warmed at his immediate willingness to adjust their schedules for seo-ah.

“you sure?” you asked, “i mean, we don’t have to sign her up if it’ll be too much.”

he scoffed, shaking his head.

“y/n, we’re literally in a position where we can do this without any stress. we have the time, and more importantly, she’s excited about it. we should let her try.”

you smiled, nodding.

“yeah and of course, if she ever decides she doesn’t want to do it anymore, we won’t force her to stay right?”

“exactly,” he agreed.

“it’s about her having fun, not turning her into some superstar athlete unless she wants to be of course.”

you let out a small laugh at the thought, imagining seo-ah running around a little soccer field, her tiny legs chasing after the ball with all the energy she had.

“alright,” you said, setting your phone down, “i’ll enroll her today.”

dae-ho smiled, stepping forward to wrap his arms around your waist.

“good. she’s gonna love this.”

you rested your head against his chest, feeling a sense of peace settle over you.

“i think so too.”

you couldn’t wait to see your little girl run around on the field, her face bright with excitement as she chased the ball with her tiny teammates. seeing her find something she loved, something that made her feel proud and happy, meant everything to you.

the sun hung warm and casted a soft glow over the small soccer field. little kids in neon orange jerseys ran around in packs, their tiny legs carrying them across the grass with excitement, while their opponents in bright blue did the same.

it was chaotic, unorganized, and absolutely adorable.

you stood on the sidelines, byeol snugly strapped to your chest in the lavender baby carrier, her tiny head resting against you as she slept peacefully.

beside you, dae-ho casually ate from a mini bag of chips, his eyes locked on the field with a look of pure focus.

meanwhile, seo-ah sat on the bench before warm-ups, munching on the small rice cakes you had packed her, her little cheeks full as she chewed.

she looked just like her father.

the similarities were crazy.

the way they both ate, their little habits of pausing mid-chew when something caught their attention, the way their eyebrows furrowed in the exact same way... it was like looking at two versions of the same person, one grown and male and one in toddler and female form.

“you two are so alike,” you muttered, shaking your head with a small laugh as you glanced between them.

dae-ho popped another chip into his mouth and shrugged.

“good genes,” he smirked, before nodding toward seo-ah, “she’s got my athletic skills too, just watch.”

you rolled your eyes playfully, though your heart warmed at how invested he already was.

the little warm-up drills started, and the moment seo-ah successfully tapped the ball with a tiny pass to one of her teammates, dae-ho sat up straighter, his hand hovering near his knee as if he were about to get out of his seat.

“that’s it, seo!”

he called, his voice full of encouragement.

you bit your lip, trying not to laugh at how intensely he was watching the game, but you had to admit...seeing seo-ah run around out there, her little face full of determination, made your chest swell with pride.

soon, the mini-game started.

the tiny players took their places on the field, and you could tell from how seo-ah was positioned that she was supposed to be one of the little defenders.

your heart could have burst at the sight of her little body bouncing in place, already eager for the ball.

suddenly, the ball rolled toward her feet and that’s when everything else went out the window.

seo-ah, your little girl, your firstborn, saw the ball and took off, straight up the field, forgetting all about her defensive position.

you and dae-ho exchanged a glance before laughing.

“you can pass it, baby!” dae-ho called, amused as he watched her tiny legs power forward, completely focused on reaching the goal.

seo-ah didn’t pass it. at least, not right away.

she kept dribbling, weaving between the other kids in her own version of ball control, before finally sending the ball toward a little girl on her team who was wide open in front of the undefended goal.

the girl kicked it in.

you and dae-ho immediately started clapping, your cheers loud and proud.

“great assist, seo-ah!” you called, your voice carrying across the field.

she turned, hearing your voice, and gave you a small wave, her tiny face lighting up with pride.

soon after, the other team managed to score.

your eyes landed on seo-ah immediately, noticing the way her little shoulders slumped, her bottom lip pushing out into a small pout.

“it’s okay, seo!” you called, giving her an encouraging wave.

she turned again, her big brown eyes locking onto yours before her tiny hand lifted to wave back.

near the end of the game, something magical happened, well at least for your oldest daughter.

seo-ah got the ball again, and this time, instead of passing, she ran full speed toward the goal.

tiny legs pumping, arms slightly out to the sides for balance, her face scrunched up in the cutest little look of focus... you and dae-ho were completely locked in.

she kicked it.

the ball rolled slowly but surely into the goal.

goal.

you and dae-ho erupted into cheers, clapping like absolute idiots around the other parents who looked at the happy parents with admiration.

“that’s my girl!” dae-ho hollered, grinning ear to ear.

your hands clapped together, your voice carrying across the field,

“way to go, seo-ah!!”

the loud cheers startled poor byeol, who had been peacefully napping against your chest.

she let out a small whimper, her tiny hands stretching slightly in protest of being woken up.

you immediately rubbed her back, rocking her gently.

“sorry, baby, eomma got too excited.”

on the pitch with seo-ah, her faces beaming. she turned toward the sidelines and saw you, saw her appa, saw that she had the biggest, loudest, most supportive parents in the crowd.

and that made her smile even bigger.

as the tiny game came to an end, you and dae-ho exchanged glances, both filled with the same overwhelming love for the little girl on the field.

kang family masterlist

[quixotickoi]

Knockout Round!!

boxer!sukuna x drummer!reader

Synopsis: You and Ryomen have never had the most cordial of relationships; however, something deep, deep inside your heart burned with a carnal desire to learn the landscape of his body. Your band sets you up for a dangerous rendezvous, and you learned a lot more than you thought you would.

Warnings: Implied sex, hickeys, biting, fingering

word count: 3.7k

------

The amps buzzed angrily, a deafening hornets’ nest of rage and defiance. The sound crackled out, leaving the faint rumble of inactive electricity. Yuji set his guitar against his amp, wringing his hands out. Maki rolled her shoulders out, and you set down your drumsticks. In front of you three, on the couch in the basement of Gojo Hall, Choso had set up a camcorder; Nobara was typing away intently on her phone, and Megumi was playing something on his raggedy PC. Even with his disgustingly loaded godfather, he never let that go. 

“Kamo, cut that,” said Maki. She tweaked her tuning pegs, frowning slightly.

“I thought you sounded good.” shrugged Choso. “Guess I don’t have the ear.” Megumi frowned at the computer, then at the man next to him.

“They sounded like a swamp. I couldn’t hear the bass from the guitar.”

“Hey!” Yuji shouted indignantly. “If Soundgarden did it, why can’t we?”

“You think you’re Chris Cornell?” 

“I assume you think you’re Pharrell; even your producer tag does the beat thing.” 

You and Maki exchanged glances at their bickering. Exasperatedly, you threw a drumstick at Yuji’s head; it bounced off before hitting the ground with a thunk. Nobara looked up, giggling behind her phone as Yuji threw it back ferociously. Catching it, you twirl it in your limber fingers. “We have to get our shit together, guys. It’s not our first gig, but it’s gonna be our last if Yuji won’t start singing worth a damn.”

“I’d like to see you try playing an instrument and singing at the same time.”

“Drums are actually hard, Yuji. Ya gotta use a thing called skill.”

“Didn’t know you used it. Our drumlines are so impossibly easy a million monkeys could do them by accident.” He messed with his dials, strumming over any retaliation. “Besides, we play in a week or so. We’ll have it down by then.”

“We could always play something old,” volunteered Maki. “It’s not like we’re popular enough to get people wanting more.”

“I’ll have you know a girl stopped me to tell me she knows our band!” said Yuji indignantly. 

“Likely from the ear-shattering music under the basement. I doubt she can tell us from the other bands that practice here.” Maki unplugged her bass, packing it into her coffin case, along with her pedal and wire. “I have to go now. Phys project in the works.” She shuffled up the stairs, strong-arming her bass on the way up. The door creaked behind her slightly. You stuffed your drumsticks in a ridiculously large pocket, stretching out your back. Yuji looked mildly disappointed. Smiling sympathetically, you help Nobara off the couch, and Choso turns off the camcorder.

“It’s, like, 2 A.M. right now,” Nobara mentioned callously. She had come with a full face and now was leaving fresh-faced, if you don’t count the smudging on her cheeks. “We should turn in anyway. Lord knows the dark circles I’m getting from these late nights.” She faked a yawn before resting her cheek on your shoulder, stroking your waist tenderly.

“You don’t even have to be here,” Megumi blurted, still working furiously. “All you do is use your TikTok and eat our DoorDash.” He slammed his computer down, to which it protested.

“I’m just here to steal some fame for when you guys get popular or whatever,” she smirked. “And it’s worth it for a chance to see Papa Fushiguro.” Megumi groaned. “Ain’t that right?” She tapped your cheek. Grinning, you look away.

“He is double our age. And then some.”

“Speak for yourself,” you snark.

“You’re barely a year older than us.” Megumi stuffed his computer in his backpack, stalking toward the door. “You guys comin’?” You shake your head at him. Grabbing your keys from your jacket pocket, you dangle them off your middle finger while Nobara follows you out. Choso and Yuji hang back, getting ready to go home on their own.

“If you’re going to be in a bitch mood,” The three of you walk toward your SUV. “At least get your license. Nothing more pathetic than waiting for the person you’re mad at.” You drive off-campus and into town, the path to Megumi’s shared apartment with his father clear in your mind. You park down the street, accompanying him, along with Nobara, to Room 408. 

Knocking on the door, Mr. Toji Fushiguro scans the three college kids at his doorstep. He had no shirt on and looked like he could barely keep his eyes open. “There’s my son,” he says groggily, yanking Megumi by the shoulder back into his apartment. Grunting his gratitude, he closes the door. On the way back to the car, Nobara is fully awake, fully excited. 

“Ugh, he wears being a hobo so well. It’s kinda insane he’s still single. Guess he still loves his wife,” she blurts when you start the engine. “All that man gotta be in there somewhere, waiting for me to find it. Do you think Megumi would be mad if I hooked up with his dad?”

You chuckled, gazing at the blurry lights in front of you. Blinking again, you persevere through the tiredness. Nobara’s now talking on the phone, tapping your shoulder. “Huh?”

“Choso’s car got towed. D’you think we can give them a ride?” she said. Apologetically, she added, “I know you’re tired, but I doubt you want them paying a 60 dollar Über at 3 A.M.” 

“It’s fine, I guess. But they owe me big time.” Turning around, you return to the barren parking lot by Gojo Hall. Choso and Yuji ran toward your car; more accurately, to your headlights. Inside they squeezed next to Nobara, and Yuji began his yammering about the towing.

“I swear Choso parked right! We don’t even know why it was towed. Sure, he sucks at parallel parking,” Choso coughed indignantly. “But that can’t be illegal, right? He didn’t even park in disabled parking or anything, they just took it!” He peered through the gap between the passenger seat and its headrest. “By the way, we need to get Ryomen.”

“Is his car towed too?”

“Nah, in the shop.” Yuji shrugged. “He loves his fender benders. Shocking, for a guy who loves his car more than his family.”

“I think he moonlights as a drag racer,” Choso added. You smiled despite the tiredness. “Also, I’ve sent you the address for where he told me he’d be. Chances are it’s a seedy ass place.” You followed the GPS instructions, passing by a handful of smoke shops, a nightclub, and a crowd of foul-smelling people, all clad in thick clothes, however unidentifiable they were from the darkness and the smog surrounding them. The GPS stopped in front of a stairwell, leading to whatever Sukuna partook in at night.

“Where is he?” you scanned the front, but no hulking, pink-haired man showed. “Can’t you text him or something?”

“Sukuna responds half a year later; we gotta find him ourselves.” 

“Nose goes!” shouted Yuji; he and Nobara held their nose, Choso following suit. You frowned at him. “Sorry babe, too slow.” he jested. You turned to Choso directly behind you, pleading silently.

“I’ll go with you, don’t worry about it.” Smiling gratefully, you hopped out of the car, with the help of Choso, who trailed behind you when you trodded down the stairwell. 

Inside, a rudimentary boxing ring surrounded by all kinds of people carrying drinks or doobies overwhelmed your senses. In the ring, a fight was well on its way to its conclusion; in one corner, a man with a zigzagging pattern in his hair sat, receiving water and getting patted down by an older man you assumed to be his coach. The other corner, the one facing the entrance, facing you, held Ryomen, or “Sukuna” in the circles he ran in. His onyx irises locked onto you, but by the time they had, you were talking to Choso. You didn’t particularly care for boxing, preferring the equally, if not more, chaotic world of underground music.

Choso bent his head down to your ear. “I think I see some friends; get me back when Ryomen’s all done.” Your eyes widened in response.

“The fuck? Choso, no. I don’t know anyone here!” But by then, he had moseyed his way toward a group of men, all tattooed and pierced. You were no stranger to the hardcore, but you preferred the stage, where the distance felt safer. While as a teen, you indulged in the scene, you never liked the people that it came with. You watched the people around you talk, receiving a couple inquisitive looks in response. No doubt you looked out of place; the conservative manner in which you bundled yourself up lended no air of confidence. 

Tentatively, you stepped through the crowd to sidle up to the boxing ring, where Ryomen and his opponent had resumed their fight. A rivulet of blood carved its way down his temple, and his opponent had a bruise blossoming on his eye. Next to you, a wave of men chanted, “S’kuna! S’kuna! S’kuna!” while booing at the other man’s jabs. Fascinated, you watched the men tussle, before you felt a hand slither around your shoulder. A man, sporting a hockey jersey and a row of ear piercings, leered at you.

“Have I seen you here before?” he smiled, barely concealing his sliminess. Stiffly, you tried to escape his grasp, which only became more vicelike the more you struggled. “Aw, hey, don’t be like that,” His scolding read like a veiled threat. A woman in front of you looked at you, sparing a glance at the man who closely resembled a deshelled hermit crab. Turning around, she pulled the man off you.

“I’m gonna need you to let her go, kid.” she warned. In the ring, meanwhile, Ryomen had totaled his opponent, earning a shout of glee from the supporting crowd. The harasser scampered off, and the woman smiled at you before turning to cheer at Ryomen.

 After the ref had confirmed the K.O, he raised Ryomen’s arm in triumph. Cajoling filled the stuffy room, and you scanned the state his body was in. His thick waist and chest heaved, bare and glistening. He tied his boxer shorts low, leaving the slightest prick of hair visible. His meaty thighs and calves flexed to support the sheer mass Ryomen boasted. When you had quite finished ogling the body of your bandmate’s older brother, his handsome, fear-inducing face was the dessert that crowned your eyes’ meal. His long, surprisingly straight nose and furrowed, bushy eyebrows gave him the appearance of a bird of prey. His cheekbones, while high-set, were still filled out with fat, preventing a skeletal appearance. His lips, while not plump, were full and parted by his maroon mouthguard, glistening with sweat. His eyes glowed in the flickering light, while still absorbing the energy around them, as if his gaze was an inescapable black hole.

You barely registered that those eyes were boring into you while you essentially feasted upon him with a desirous gaze. His head tilted up, and then you saw the warlike mind which consumed his being, which was reaching toward you with a need to conquer, to take. Even when he stopped to be led to the locker room, you felt his want burn your stomach, and you felt the unquestionable desire to vomit. But still, you trailed after him, along with his other fans. You fiddled with your phone, when Yuji had called you, asking when he would finish up. You sighed, told him five more minutes, and waited for Ryomen’s reemergence. 

When he came back, he clutched an envelope and towel around his neck, along with a duffle bag. He stopped in front of you, surveying you with an unreadable expression. “All alone, are we?” he grinned, and his oddly sharp canines winked at you. Your mouth immediately felt like it was stuffed with cotton.  “It’s rare to see you so scared, girl.” he teased. “You my driver?”

Behind you, Choso leaned an arm on your head. “Hey…Ryomen.” He gave him a dap before steering you to the exit/entrance. “We’re taking you home.”

“Sweet.” He pushed past you, dragging his shoulder deliberately. This somehow shook you out of your trance, and you tramped in front of them, trying not to appear as vulnerable as you felt.

In the car, Ryomen had parked his ass in the passenger seat before you could say a word about it. “Smelly hoes stay in the back, Ryomen.”

“Sukuna to you, baby.”

“Suck-on-a my dick.” you bit. Swerving off the avenue, you stopped at the Itadori brothers’ complex. All three hopped out; rather, Choso dragged a sleeping Yuji and hoisted him over his shoulder along with his guitar, and Ryomen hauled his gear and gloves to their home. With a parting grin, he slammed the car door shut. Nobara had fallen asleep in the backseat as well, and you silently drove home, snapping her awake to get inside.

***

We’re meeting at my house for a band meeting today :DD show up by 5pm pls and thank youuu.  Your phone buzzed as Yuji texted. It was Saturday morning, and you had barely opened your crusted-over eyes a quarter past two. Rays of late winter sunshine seared into your eyes; you didn’t even get under your covers, opting instead to scrunch the neatly laid out blankets between your fingers. Groggily, you peeled your eyes open and clambered to the kitchen, where Nobara had written a note: At mall. You toss it back on the counter and make yourself a late breakfast: two eggs and a slice of gouda in a bread roll. Squinting again, you checked your microwave clock.

 As you blinked, the two morphed into a five. It was 5:30? Shit! You cursed as you ran to your bathroom, quickly rubbing your full-body deodorant over yourself. You splashed your face with water before tugging on a bra you didn’t even look at and the first pair of panties you found in your drawers. A slip of your jeans past your hips, a tug of your shirt over your neck, and a slide into your slides led you out the door and speeding toward the Itadori brothers’ (and Choso’s) apartment. You chewed gum ravenously on your way there; you’d be damned if you let morning breath near your bandmates. You reached under the cactus that had the spare key for the home. Barging in, you braced yourself for the welcoming, although teasing yells. 

Instead, you saw a vacant couch, loveseat, and ottoman. The kitchen held no rumble of life, and everything was less sloppy than usual. Furiously, you text the group. Sorry!! Went to get food, hope you dont mind :P -Yuji. It’s not OUR fault you were late -Maki. Muttering indignancies under your breath, you plop onto the couch, picking at your nail beds. You felt bad for missing the time, but you were so tired from last night. Who’s even up that late, anyway? The 15-hour nap was well-needed. During the weekdays, you spent late nights trying to squeeze in band practice and the elephant-sized pile of work that graced your cheap IKEA desk. A lady needs her sleep, after all, and moonlighting (daylighting?) as a raccoon did nothing to help your confidence.

Sighing, you traipsed to the kitchen, doubting if the gang would bring you something to eat. While Nobara was usually your saving grace, she was off spending her next findom scheme victim’s couple grand. The fridge was unsurprisingly chock-full of leftovers; an old box of half-eaten chow mein, a lone bag of fries, cold pizza…a bum’s heaven. You doubted any actual ingredients existed in the house. The brothers cooked on occasion, likely so infrequently that they could run out of flour and not bat an eye. You settle for the chow mein, knowing you didn’t give a rat’s ass if it was Choso’s or Yuji’s. They frequently raided your fridge anyway. No, it was Ryomen you were worried about. However, a 66% chance of it not being his was all you cared about. Tossing it in the microwave for half a minute, you poured yourself a glass of water before standing at the counter, twirling the saucy noodles between the fork prongs. The chow mein wasn’t particularly hot, but it was suitable.

Behind you, a man loomed in the kitchen entryway. All six and a half feet of him. You ate happily, until you turned to see the presence you dreaded most. Swallowing thickly, you set the takeout down, hiding it from view. Ryomen stared you down, his heartstopping eyes pierced straight through yours and slid their effect through your body, straight to your stomach. You felt it drop, and your grip on the floor slid. His lip curled when he saw your eyebrows knit together in cowardice, before you shakily regain your composure. “You surprised me,” you blurted. 

“Likewise.” He motioned to the living room behind him. “Where’re your little friends?” Ryomen stepped closer; you stepped away. You tried not to gaze at the strong arm that pushed an island chair out of his way; the loose tee he wore did next to nothing to hide the contours of his bicep. He looked past you, at the opened chow mein container.

“They’re on their way here,” you bluffed; in actuality, you had no idea when they’d end their little excursion. Ryomen tilted his head in mockery. He had been inching closer every second, and he had finally gotten within arm’s reach. You, on the other hand, had nowhere else to go, unless you desired to become one with the countertop. “They’re getting food,” you muttered. The enclosing space made your stomach fall to the floor, surprisingly managing to be more anxious than you thought the human body could survive. Ryomen’s eyes gleamed predatorily; he had dreamt of cornering your cowering body. In a swift motion, he hooked a thick-knuckled finger through your belt loop, whisking you into his body. With an oomph! you felt your brow ridge hit his collarbone.

“Is that so?” Ryomen leered. His smooth rumble let you know you were so fucked. “Then you’d care to explain where my food went, I assume.” His hand snaked around your waist, sliding up and feeling the curve of your spine. It reached your jaw, where he tilted your face up to meet his.

“I only had a bite or two,” you say, wriggling in his grasp. He held your head firm, grinning devilishly when he squeezed your cheeks. 

“I’ll take a ‘bite or two’ outta you.” His hand let your face go. “It’s only fair.”

“Bite my dick, Ryomen,” you sneer, enjoying your burst of egoism. “I doubt an overlarge slob like you knows the first thing about being with women.” For that one, he squeezed your ass hard. You refused to break the stoicism you set yourself to five minutes ago. 

“Oh, woman, you have no clue what's going to happen to you.”

“A dog-and-pony show and a failed orgasm, I suppose.” Your eyes narrow. Ryomen’s expression shifts into something dangerous, a desire so primal, so base.

“Your friends can’t save you now, doll.” With nary a deep breath, Ryomen hoists you over his shoulder, bearing your weight like a sandbag. He opens the door to his bedroom, unceremoniously flinging you onto his messy bed sheets. You land near its edge, and you can’t take a breath before he’s upon you like a whirlwind, ramming his lips into yours and shoving his hands under your shirt. You screwed your eyes shut, trying to keep up with Ryomen’s neediness. You backed up onto the bed, hurriedly followed by Ryomen. Screaming internally, you watch his trail of kisses slide from your lips to your cheek, down your neck, and straight to your collarbone. His eyes lock onto your t-shirt. 

You hear a seam, or four, tear as he wrests it off of you and onto the waiting floor. Ryomen scrutinizes the bra you barely registered choosing; lucky you, the brute liked the lacy detailing on the pearly fabric. However, it comes off, along with half of your dignity. Ryomen kneads your nipple between his fingers slyly, watching them harden from contact. Before you can blink, he returns to sucking on your neck, working an obscene hickey onto your nape. Sharp canines meet your shoulder blade as he bites down. Hard. Your groan of pleasure gives him leeway to taunt you.

“Am I not a slob?” He ruts his clothed, extremely painful boner into your crotch. “Wasn’t I so unskilled? Answer me woman, or are you dumb from a little kiss?” Ryomen’s voice strained. You whimper and grab at his hair, tugging the black roots. Grinding and sucking his way down,  His starving demeanor sent a shot of pleasure through your veins. Oh, you were so fucked.

***

It hadn’t been more than a few hours. Ryomen, who you regrettably called Sukuna (while being fingered into oblivion), was dozing away on top of you, a comforting weight. The analog clock above his door frame read 7:38. Struggling, you push off him and hobble down to the living room, hastily putting on the first pair of pants you saw and your shirt; you had no clue how incredibly disheveled you looked, so covered in blotchy red hickeys and nail marks you appeared to have been pelted with overripe cherries. What a sight it was, then, when you ran into Yuji and Choso lounging in their own home.

“I always took him as a rough guy, but jeez. I’m surprised you got away,” Choso said between bites of his chicken wing. Blearily, you grunt an idea of a retort before stealing a wing. “Glad I didn’t have to hear the…yeah,” he finished lamely as you ate.

“Whuh? Choso,” you mumbled, mouth full. “Y’all knew?”

They both looked incredibly guilty. 

Right then, Ryomen walked in behind you, in his boxers. Before you asked where his pants were, you looked at yours, realizing they were hanging off your hips; you should’ve noticed when the fabric dragged against your ankle as you navigated the apartment. “Got any left for me? I’ve just been,” he glanced your way cheekily. “...exercising.” 

[mandy-asimp]

When She Calls

Lilia Calderu x Life!reader (she/her)

Warnings: language, deaths, sprinkles of angst, fluff, smut (but that's for waaay down the build up), whole lotta friendship, I'm like 87% sure that's it

Summary: when Life is asked to make a promise, she doesn't seem to be able to say no.But that promise was going to be served out so much longer than what she could see.

Chapter 2

Story masterlist

chapter 3

It was tense. The air. The people. Everything. 

Life had stayed on her own as she examined the room. Delicate fingertips running over everything and feeling the nitty bitty textures. She stood by the record player and kneeled to be eye level with the wood. Although her thoughts on what to do were clouded by the feeling of prying eyes. Even as her head snapped directly to stare at the booth. Agahta and Rio were speaking while looking directly at her. She only returned a harsher glare before standing up and continuing. 

“She won't expose either of us for the truth. She has too much to lose just like us. Like that Lilia character. Over four hundred years by her side as a cat. She’ll be too busy trying to fix what little time she has left with her to even focus on what we’re doing.” Rio reassured, already knowing how this goes. “She knew Nicky.”

The name caused Agatha to whip her focus to the words that were spoken so quietly she almost missed it all. “What…?” Her blue crystals glittered in the light, but as soon as the grief filled her eyes, it was all gone. “What if The Roads like Switzerland?”

Life turned her head once more back to the two, seeing how they got closer. She knew that it was either going to lead into a nasty makeout or something nasty. So she turned away, going back to examining everything. Stealing guilty glances to the oldest witch. However, she kept her distance.

Even when Rio’s voice came over the speakers. “Kill everyone around you. You get your power, I get my bodies.” The ‘coven’ moved together at her words, crowding in the center and watching through the glass.

“Hey that's my coven you're talkin’ about!” Agatha feigned her concern, although she hardly fooled anyone. 

The room erupted into complaints, but instantly drowned out by the screeching of the record. Dragging the attention to the record player as Teen fell back from it. Shouts to make the horrid noise end layered over each other. It wasn’t till Agatha took matters into her own hands after the boy's many failed attempts. She picked up the machine and slammed it into the ground, pieces flying over as she stomped with her heeled boot. Gasping a few times as she finally backed away. 

“We’ve been cursed.” Lilia stated. Her big brown eyes jumped all over, even to Life. There they stayed trapped in the storm clouds. How they rolled in and darkened the entire room. Only to be pulled back by the ticking of the metronome. Tick. Tick. Tick. 

~

Life and Death stood at the foot of the boy. A glass shard had cut him deeper and he had lost blood. Lots of it. The ‘coven’ stood around and did what they could. But it was when Agatha looked to them, begging with her eyes to Rio to not take him and pleading with Life to be fair. So neither did anything, they let the witches do their work. Observing the moment where they were actually looking like a coven. 

Even as they all sat around the fire as Teen rested. Well…Life hadn't joined them yet. She was from afar analyzing Agatha and her dynamic with the boy. She knew that the witch had figured him out just slightly, but she needed one more thing to be sure. Although, the funny thing about being life itself is always knowing who someone is without a second look. She knew who the boy was, and he wasn’t Agatha’s. But that wasn’t her knowledge to share. For all she knew, they didn’t know she knew of Nicky. She disappeared a century before Agatha was even born.

The woman was asked something that set her off clearly as she abruptly got up to leave. Giving Life her chance to go speak to the boy. “She’s always shot that topic down. He’s not one she likes to bring up…especially with Rio here now.”

“And I take it you know what happened to him?” Teen had sat up a little more, wrapping his arms around his knees as he grew curious to know so much more.

“I knew him. He was such a sweetie. Cutest little boy made from scratch I had ever been given the graces of curating. But…his time wasn’t meant to happen. They broke so many rules together.” She started her explanation, mimicking his pose right across from her. “I know who you are as well. I’ve known your path since your mother first knew.”

His brows furrowed as his eyes grew full of hope. “You…you know my name?”

“Of course I do. I’ll tell you a little secret, a token to show I mean no harm to you here. I’ve been hiding as Lilia’s familiar for years, all because I didn’t want to be Life anymore. It’s so demanding…having to see everyone into the world, to know when they’ll meet my counterpart.” She spoke so carefully, like if she was too loud everyone on The Road would hear her. 

The boy softly smiled, “so you’re the embodiment of life who hid as a cat?” A brief nod. “So…do you know then if-”

“Yes. I do know. I am not allowed to clear it for you though. That is a question of your life path that you’ll discover on your own…but like Agatha had said, you don't need to know someone's name to know who they really are. You’re a strong survivor too, I know you’ll figure it out.” She was so delicate with him. After all, she watched him escape. 

Life had gone out for a little bit. Lilia had left the front door cracked to ventilate out the air and get a cool breeze inside. And something within her told her to go out and observe the new lives that were coming in. It had been a while since she had done it and it was nice to see some of the positive lives that would be used wisely and greatly. 

Yet, there was a heavy pull towards Eastview that day. She followed it as well, finding the car smashed against a tree. A family, the Kaplan’s. Her heart ached at the sight of the lifeless boy in the back. His life managed to alter from what she knew. He was going to do wondrous things in his future, but alas…life is a funny thing. Never predictable to the fullest, even for herself.

The air around grew cold, a feeling she knew meant Death was on her way to collect the body. Life wished she could do something, anything to help him but it was against the laws of her nature. And unlike Rio, she had yet to bend them for anyone…but who would know it was her? 

The red anomaly in the distance began shrinking, and she suddenly wasn't watching. Instead she was acting and luring the soul of the voice that had just whispered a goodnight. “This way.” She would hum into the air, letting it travel all the way to the other. “Survive.”

The lifeless boy in the back of the crashed car suddenly gasped. “Tommy!” His eyes were everywhere, trying to find his missing brother. All he found was an unfamiliar woman pleading for him to be ok, and a soft glowing warmth behind her. 

Life stared with comfort, trying to ease his rushing heart. Only to give him a curt nod before disappearing.

“You…you were the one to lead me..” He had pieced the face together to the voice. He had played it to bring the shock, a guardian angel even. “I heard you. What about Tommy? Did you lead him out too? Do you know where he is?” The questions seemed to flood over the damn. 

Life sighed, “even if I do know where he is, you’d still have to find him. You’re on a set path, keep pursuing it.” And with that she had stood and left him to his own thoughts. Giving him just a brief moment before he would have to return to the group. 

Returning, the group had just finished sharing stories. Rio was getting ready to follow after Agatha as she walked away to catch her own breath. Lilia had grabbed at her wrist, a subtle hue of knowing as she stared up to the green witch. “Don’t think for a second I forgot what you said in that booth.” She had such a harsh undercut to her smooth words. 

Rio scoffed, letting her eyes widen as she hissed down to the other. Only Life was right in her way when she stepped again. Grey eyes burning into her and speaking without a single word. They held a silent conversation until the brunette groaned and rolled her eyes. Stepping around her and continuing to chase after Agatha.

Life didn’t bat an eye as she took a silent seat near the fire, keeping her distance still as the feeling of uncertainty followed her. “Ok, and what about you? How do you play into all this?” Jen’s voice cut straight through it all. Bringing the natural being into reality. “How do you know those two?”

“I’ve known Rio for as long as I can remember. We’ve been tied together for so long honestly. But I had made a commitment once, and she didn’t like the fact that I was going to uphold it. I eventually disappeared from her and anything to do with what our jobs were. I met Agatha when she was on her own. I didn’t help with what she had asked me that day, even when Rio asked…they were going to break more than what I wanted to be a part of. So, I kept myself hidden. Then suddenly I was brought here.” Life had kept the story short. There was so much to actually dissect that there was clearly not enough time now.. “I promise I’m no harm here. I never was.” She was sincere in her words. 

“How do we know we can trust you though? If you're telling us you knew those two, they’re full of tricks and lies. What makes you any different? After all, you’ve been lying for centuries.” Lilia was harsh. Her narrowing glare, her sharp words, they cut like a perfectly sharpened knife. “What if you’re just here to also collect bodies, just like Rio?”

“She has no purpose for bodies…” Teen had finally joined the group, taking a seat right next to Life. “She’s here to help us.”

“And what is her name?” Jen crossed her arms and quirked a brow. Everyone was suddenly expecting an answer.

It dawned on Life she never chose another name. She never needed another name the way Rio did. She was just known as Life, but it felt heavy suddenly. Like it wasn’t the proper choice to have everyone refer to her as such. “I don’t know…”

~

Chapter 4.

[carbootsoul]

The biggest clues to an inspection of the prince myth are colors. Utena is liberal with its color symbolism, and the flat, primary shades in the myth’s shadow-box visuals are a blatant use of them. Also, since Utena’s color symbolism is semi-internal (e.g. while a lot of connotations are external, like yellow for innocence, the most significant applicability of them are things formed by association within the show, like the combination between purple and a particular pair of siblings), the prince myth is our first introduction to these colors and their logic in Utena. Starting with a blank slate, what is the first impression it wants us to have of its shades? Like all mythic symbols, they’re providing a basis for how we will interact with these elements for the rest of our time in this story. Let’s begin our color examination with the opening scene, after a quick aside on the general visual style.

Like a shadowbox, the figures in the prince myth are paper cut-outs moving in front of a flat background, so while there’s significant detail within each layer, the layers don’t interact. Instead, they’re completely flat, casting a simple shadow on the backdrop. In Plato’s allegory of the cave (which we may as well get over with), prisoners are born into a dark cave with a view of one wall, onto which objects are projected by unseen captors. These captors say the names of the objects that pass, and the association between the objects and the names produce the prisoner’s reality. This is false reality, and fake “knowledge,” but to the prisoners nothing else exists. In the shadow box, we seem to see both the objects and their shadows (the cut outs and the real shadow), but the figures themselves and the intervening “real” moments where the false myth breaks to show Utena’s real memory show the second, more important, layer of cast shadows. The shadow box scene itself is enclosed within a silhouetted frame, and complex figures (like people) are pure black. The fact that the same things are happening between the shadow figures and the real memory show that the memory is clearly casting these shadows, but it’s not clear what is truly happening in the moments when the shadow reality takes over. (Looking forward to the rest of the show, like in Plato’s allegory, the real question is not necessarily “what do the shadows refer to,” which can eventually be answered by walking out of the cave, but by “what will the prisoners prefer? The real world, or the shadows?”)

The use of black as a silhouette also establishes right away that black in the show is always in relation to light—as a shadow, yes, but maybe more accurately as the real object whose details are obscured by light. A silhouetted object is the true object, but the fact that it’s in front of a bright light means that our eyes can’t focus in on it. In this case, we might say that the prince (Dios) is a real object, but the brightness of emotion and desire Utena has infused this memory with silhouette his reality. All that's left is the shadow memory. (This comparison may prove helpful in looking at the Black Rose arc, whose duelists are less shadowy than obscured by the brightness of desire).

Also right away, we’re faced with pink roses over a pastel green curtain. These are not Utena’s pink, but a lightened red, and since it’s our first time seeing this color, I don’t have much to say on it. Likewise with the pastel green, although I do want to note that it seems significant that the show opens with a color we associate mostly with Saionji: an indication that, like Nanami, he is more essential to understanding Utena than we might think. If I were to hazard a guess, I would say that green may refer to ignorance—why it’s paired with innocent yellow here and, of course, why it’s given to Saionji, who is stubbornly oblivious to Ohtori’s rules.

“Once upon a time... there was a princess grieving over the deaths of her mother and father.”

The first few lines present a classic basis for any story of preteen sexuality—sorry, I meant any fairy tale. They’re not only a clear indicator that this isn’t real life, but also present us with Utena’s orphan status as her initial trait. This is a psychoanalytic story, despite the near total absence of parental figures, and nothing plays a more vital backstage role than family. The little princess, of course, is wearing yellow (and here, again, is Saionji’s pastel rose green on her collar).

“Before this princess appeared a prince traveling upon a white horse. His appearance gallant, and his smile gentle…”

A white-clothed prince on a white horse, against a white background, emerges to save her. Here is our first true introduction to white, which is inarguably the most important color to the show. All other colors are adulterated with it in Anthy’s roses or contrasted with it in the Student Council uniform. Note that it isn’t the young princess who wears pure white, but the prince: white is not a color you’re born into, but one you aspire toward, perpetually bleaching the fainter and fainter yellow out of your dress. White is an ideal color, not something actually wearable, and the pure white of the prince in the myth only doubles down on the impossibility of the story. (Also, note the red interior of the cape, even in Dios: a strand of Touga’s chauvinism in the princely ideal, or an indication that there is something genuine Touga is trying to emulate?)

“The prince enveloped the princess in the scent of roses, and wiped away her tears. ‘Little one bearing up alone under grief, never lose that strength or nobility, even when you grow up’ [he said].”

As the prince kneels to embrace the princess, the rosebuds in the background burst into bloom. With the death of her parents, the princess’s sense of the world’s meaning was destroyed. The cracks in the version of reality she had—a glimpse the true objects outside of the cave—began to show themselves. Impossible to handle even for adults, the young princess falls into a depression and searches desperately for a way to obscure this truth from herself, which she finds in the prince and his command: “Never lose that strength or nobility, even when you grow up.” William James, discussing the “process of inner incompleteness and reducing inner discord,” refers to this emergence from depression as the new birth, which may be religious or “produced by the irruption into the individual’s life of some new stimulus or passion, such as love, ambition, cupidity, revenge, or patriotic devotion.” The princess’s new birth, prompted by the prince, could be any of those things, and it’s perhaps because of this shift that we’re able to see our first glimpse of the real memory between her and Dios. Whatever it is, it is what saves her from an orphan's depression, and so becomes the grounding force in her life. Nothing she has can exist without faith in this moment: the prince is the thing keeping the entire system together.

The phrase “even when you grow up” feels very significant. I would say it has its fingers in too many pies to discuss here—in a story about adolescence, the idea of those virtues we lose as we age is essential to our founding myth. Is the fact that Utena changed as she grew older the reason she can't achieve the princely ideal? It's haunting, true or not.

"’I give you this to remember this day. We will meet again. This ring will lead you to me, one day.’ Could the ring from the prince have been an engagement ring?”

Then, the symbolic engagement, with the prince’s white gloves sliding a ring onto (real) Utena’s hand. The true memory says “I give you this to remember this day” and then—crucially—the scene switches and it is the shadow who says “this ring will lead you to me, one day.” Dios, this unattainable ideal which Utena bases her life around, has truly left her something to remember him by, something she will never leave behind: her desire. However, it’s only the false shadow memory which tells her that the ring will lead her to him. It’s the eternal hope of every young person that the overwhelming desire you feel, which seems both focused and directionless, is an indication that it will one day be fulfilled. It’s a message from your prince. This stubborn hope that the need for something means that it is meant to be yours, is what keeps all of the Ohtori students we meet spinning on their hamster wheels.

"Because of the strength of her admiration for the prince,  the princess made up her mind to become a prince herself! But was that really such a good idea?"

As the princess watches the prince ride away, the red roses of the frame are replaced with white ones, before finally becoming the familiar Utena pink, as the shadow version of her stands proudly on screen in princely dress. The myth is over: the story begins.

The twist at the end of the myth is simple misdirection: rather than a desire to have the prince, Utena desires to become him. This confusion, which seems on the surface like a ridiculous misunderstanding, is instrumental to nearly every conflict on the show. Yes, it’s a gendered confusion, but it’s also a natural lack of knowledge about what exactly will fulfill the desire for the princely ideal. We see it most overtly in Utena, but every student council member expresses it in their own way: do you want Anthy (to be the prince), or do you want to have her position (to be the princess), or do you want to somehow merge with her into one through an exchange diary (to be and have at the same time)? When one method fails, maybe the other will work, the student council thinks. Sadly for them, the shadow girl’s rhetorical question applies to all: you cannot just make your mind up to be a prince. He and the princess are only shadows. The more you grasp at them, the flatter they will show themselves to be.

[softmamawrites]

Love Within These Halls: Part 2

The second installment of LWTH, we don’t see as much Brenny I’m sorry for that.

19.3k words

Warnings: swearing, John not being nice to himself, talking of pee, masturbation in front of someone else, semi-public sex, soft penis blowjobs, handjobs, first time smut, some more not nice talking about penises, PTSD mentions, mentions of blood

mood board done by me

dividers done by: @firefly-graphics

special thank you to @trashbag-baby666 for listening to me ramble, helping me brain storm, indulging my Clegan thoughts, and being an amazing support. thank you 💕

“Knock knock…can I come in?” Marge asks as she stands outside of John’s room, the door halfway open. Showing off the boy sitting in his bed, freshly showered and scrolling through his phone. Looking through the pictures his sister had sent him of her class trip to D.C. Raising an eyebrow as he sees the blonde girl, they had only really talked a handful of times. She was usually attached to Gale’s hip when she was here, and he hadn’t really talked to Gale in a few days. The blond keeping his distance, seeming to realize better than John how upset he was.

“You can come in…” He trails off, waiting for the boy who’s been on his mind constantly to come into the room. A little bloom of disappointment filling his chest when he notices it’s just Marge stepping in. She leans against the foot of his bed, her hip cocked to keep herself balanced. Arms crossing over her chest as she stares at John, both of them not saying anything for a minute.

“I like you Bucky, I really do, but making my best friend cry. That takes you down a few notches on my list of likable people. I’m not here to fight Gale’s battles for him, but I am here to tell you ignoring him isn’t okay. I know he’s the king of ignoring people, but he isn’t going to come to you this time. He thinks you’re mad at him, which if you are…fuck you. He didn’t do anything wrong, you should be happy that he gets to come home. He’s put in a lot of work to get there, more than you’ve seen. So what I’m saying is, apologize for being a dick, and decide from there if this is something you still want to pursue.” The black haired boy sits there, staring at her, not knowing what to say. Taken aback by how incredibly calm she is, not used to dealing with calm women. He takes a deep breath and rubs his palms over his basketball shorts, looking out the window. Before he looks back at her again, seeing her patiently waiting.

“When do you guys leave?”

“We’re heading out of here at 430 today…gives you about three hours Egan.” She tells the older boy, before she’s pushing off of his bed and heading back for his door. Turning slightly with her hand on the wood, taking a deep breath and contemplating for a minute.

“He really does like you John…it might not seem like it. But he does, trust me, I’ve known him since we were three years old.” Bucky nods softly and watches her walk out, looking at the clock on his wall. Eyes trailing over the calendar, sighing softly as he sees all of the markings on it. Gale having doodled some little pictures on the edges, little cartoon characters that John didn’t recognize. Picking up his phone he clicks over to the text chats, chewing on his lower lip as he clicks his and Buck’s.

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘I know you’re packing and whatnot today…but would you have a few minutes to come down to my room? I’ve been put on bed rest for the rest of today. If not I understand, I’ve been a real jerk the last few days.’

From: Buck 😍

To: John 😊

‘You have been a real jerk…give me 30 minutes and I’ll come down. You do realize you’ll have to tell me why you got put on bed rest now.’

John smiles softly as he looks at the message, running a hand down his face and shifting in bed. Using his arms to push himself upright better, tucking one of his wedge pillows into his side. Reaching for his brush to try and fix his hair, groaning when it hits the floor. Frowning as he reaches for his baseball cap instead, putting it on backwards.

Trying not to let the ball of anxiety in his stomach grow as he waits for Gale. Looking up at the gentle knock on his doorframe, seeing the tall blond standing there. His eyes downcast as he waits for permission to come into the room, something tugging on John’s chest. He did not like this version of Gale, this version of Gale made him feel nauseous.

“You can come in Buck.” The younger boy slowly comes into the room, leaning exactly where Marge did earlier. His hip and thigh resting against the footboard of John’s bed. His arms crossed over his chest, bunching up the sweater he’s wearing today. Rubbing the toe of his shoe into the ground slightly, while he chews on his lower lip.

“I’m…I’m sorry Gale, I’m really really happy for you that you get to go home. I know you’ve worked really hard to get to do that, you should be proud of you. I know I am.” John says as he looks at the blond, watching as his eyes come up. Pretty blue eyes sad around the edges, making Bucky’s heart ache a little bit. Knowing he’s the one who put that sad look in those blue orbs. He shifts slightly to try and reach forward for Gale’s hand, the boy shaking his head slightly.

“You didn’t give me the chance to tell you, I really was going to. I got distracted when I saw you…because you make me feel so fucking good John. You’ve ignored me for the past three days and it’s been absolutely awful. And it terrifies me how much I enjoy being around you…I’ve never had that before. I’ve never had anyone besides Marge. And I want you, I want you so so much. But not if this is how it’s going to be…not if you’re going to ignore me.” Buck gets out, it all seeming to spill out of him without his consent. Shoulders deflating in the slightest bit, refusing to meet John’s eyes. Bucky makes a soft sound, taking a deep breath as he sits there. Frustrated that he can’t get up to hug the other, but realizing that Gale doesn’t want a hug right now. He doesn’t deal with his emotions with physical touch like John does, physical touch hasn’t always been an answer for Gale. He’s had to learn how to self soothe, he’s had to be there for himself always.

“Gale, I need you to hear me when I say I’m sorry. I really really love being around you, it’s the best time I’ve had in the past few weeks. I don’t want you to think you’re by yourself, I don’t want you to feel alone, I want you to know I’m here for you. I’m so sorry I ignored you, I know that doesn’t fix everything. It doesn’t even come close, but please believe me when I say I won’t let it happen again. I didn’t know what to say, I felt like a fucking idiot, and I didn’t know if you’d still want to do what we’ve been doing once you left. And…I want to go home. I want to leave this place behind so I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to come back here either.” Bucky explains as he sits there, rubbing his hands on his sweat pants. Not expecting it when he feels arms curling around his neck, the burst of vanilla cologne filling his nose. Citrus aftershave following close behind, a nose tucking above his ear while his head snugs in against Gale’s collar bone. His own arms coming up to curl around the blond’s narrow waist, tugging him closer until the boy is kneeling on the bed next to him. Both of them breathing quietly, digesting what the other has said.

“You’re an idiot…of course I want to keep talking to you and seeing you. I want to keep doing this…I’d like for this to have some kind of label, because Marge calling us fuck buddies isn’t great. But if that doesn’t happen then it doesn’t happen. But you’re a giant idiot John.” The black haired boy laughs quietly and nods his head, large palms rubbing up Gale’s sides. Squeezing softly and holding him a little closer to himself, nuzzling into his skin. Eyes staying closed as he feels the warmth radiating off of the younger boy.

“I am an idiot…but I’m your idiot. Or I’d like to be…if you’ll still have me.” Gale pulls away from John’s hair, looking down at him with soft eyes. His palms coming up to cup Bucky’s curls, knocking his ball cap off of his head. Before he’s resting his forehead down onto the older boy’s, breathing deeply. Scooting just a little closer, their chests touching now as Gale rests against the other boy.

“You know you still have to tell me why you’re on bed rest, don’t think for a minute that I forgot.” John groans softly as he pulls away from the blond, looking at him with a pleading expression. An embarrassed flush starting on the tips of his ears, before he’s meeting Gale’s eyes again. A sheepish smile forming on his face, groaning while dropping his head back onto one of his pillows.

“I was being an asshole and tried to transfer myself off of the shower bench, ate shit, twisted my ankle, and got told off by Danica. Patrick is on vacation and she was not happy with me at all. Depending on how my ankle looks tomorrow will depend on if I can do actual PT or if it’ll be stretches here in my room.” Gale looks at him for a minute, blinking slowly before he lets out a snort. Shaking his head slightly before he starts actually laughing, head tipping forward with his snickers. John smiling a bit at the sound, looking up when he sees Marge standing in the doorway. An approving smile on her lips as she leans against the door jam, watching her best friend laugh.

“I’m really glad to see you two have made up.” Marge says, Gale looking up from where he’s been wiping his tears. Watching as his best friend comes farther into the room, a little grin on her face. Before she’s perching herself at the end of John’s bed, humming at the coziness of it.

“Marge can I introduce you to my idiot, John Egan.” Gale says smirking a bit, Bucky groaning softly as he looks at the blond. Marge letting out a laugh at that, seeing the little loved up smile on Gale’s face. His eyes holding a sort of softness to them that she’s never witnessed before. His cornflower blue eyes trained on John’s face, admiring the curve of his Adam’s apple and throat.

“That’s gonna stick isn’t it?” John questions as he looks at the blond, seeing the grin on his face before he’s nodding. Bucky smiling softly as he rubs his hand up Gale’s back gently, glad they are on better terms. The uneasiness that’s been like a ball in his stomach lessening.

————————

“John…I know you’re not going to like what I have to say right now. But your friend…he looks incredibly pathetic sitting out there by himself. Everyone else has left from their visiting times and he’s just waiting out there. He’s been here every single week waiting for you. How much longer are you going to punish him?” Gale asks once he’s stepped into the black haired boy’s room, looking at his boyfriend. Seeing the way he’s trying to tug off his shoe, huffing softly at the pull in his back. The blond walking over and tugging off his shoes for him, setting them in their designated place. Knowing John will roll right over them with his chair if they don’t go back where they belong.

“I’m not punishing him…”

“John, he’s been coming here every week for almost two and a half months. You’re torturing him because he knows you’re down here, maybe he just wants to get eyes on you. I’m sure the last time he saw you was not a good experience for either of you.” Gale states as he works on one calf muscle, before going to the next. Kneading his muscles tenderly, before he’s looking up at John. Seeing him staring out of the window, a pensive look on his face as he sits there.

“You really should see the massage therapist, I know it gets offered to you. I don’t know why you decline it every time though, your muscles are really tight. It would probably help.” John swallows thickly, looking down at his boyfriend finally. Meeting his gaze, watching as Gale rests his palms on Bucky’s kneecaps. Rubbing his thumbs into the sides gently, feeling the slight twitch from John’s right leg. Smiling a bit at the ticklish reaction, before he’s meeting Bucky’s gaze again.

“Massage therapy makes me nervous, they’re going to touch my body and I can’t feel it all of the way anymore. And it would be Danica rubbing me down…it’d be weird…he looks pathetic?” Gale hums softly and nods his head, looking up at his boyfriend again. Seeing the way he’s staring out the window, before he lets out a deep breath. Eyes darting over to the clock on his wall, and then looking back at Gale.

“I’ll go with you if you want honey.” John shakes his head slightly and runs his calloused hands over his face. Before he’s leaning forward and resting his forehead on Gale’s, eyes closed while he sits there for a minute.

“I gotta do it on my own.”

John slowly wheels himself into the visiting area, brows furrowed as he goes. Lifting his head to look around, seeing the head of black hair sitting at one of the tables. Shoulders scrunched down in his leather jacket, no doubt fiddling with his thumbs. His leg jiggling as he sits there, making his body bounce slightly.

“I’m only coming out here because my boyfriend said you looked pathetic.” John states as he stops his chair behind Curt, giving the boy a chance to flip around. The plastic chair he’s sitting in screeching slightly in his fast movements. His electric blue eyes wide, not at all having expected John to come out today. He had been trying for almost two and a half months, once John’s older sister had told him where he was. He made the weekly visits, every Wednesday coming to sit and wait for a few hours. Just to see if John would give him the time of day, he wanted to lay eyes on a more coherent Bucky.

“Y you’ve got a boyfriend now?” Curt gets out, scolding himself mentally for that being the first thing he says to his best friend. Watching as John shifts in his chair, arms crossing over his chest. Breathing deeply as he stares at Curtis, seeing how his blue eyes don’t have that same boyish shine to them anymore. Bone deep exhausted bags under his eyes, making a frown form on Bucky’s face. Curt wincing as he waits for the younger boy to tell him to go, clenching his fist against the back of the chair as he waits.

“You look like shit.”

“Yea…I know. Haven’t slept a night through in almost three and a half months.” Curtis responds, watching as John slowly wheels himself over towards the table. Carefully turning himself so he can watch his best friend, not missing how John eyes the cookies. Homemade from his Nan, he knew the younger boy loved them, and if it was a bit of bribery he would never admit it. John wheels himself up to the table, pushing one of the chairs over slightly so he fits better. Curt moving to grab it, before he sees Bucky shaking his head slightly.

“If you’re going to start apologizing, I’ll wheel out of here. I’ve had a little time to think on it, it wasn’t your fault that night. And…I’m sorry for how I acted towards you when you came to the hospital before.” John voices like it’s been rehearsed, it had been, a few times to Gale. The boy was anxious about seeing Curt again, the older was always his rock. He always could rely on him, and Bucky had pushed him away.

Disregarding any of Curtis’ feelings, how the accident might have affected him, how this entire mess was hurting his best friend. Looking up when he hears the stifled sound come out of Curt’s mouth, he sees the boy with tears in his eyes. Trying to frantically wipe them away, John feeling a little helpless. He had never seen Curt cry before, not even when he broke his ankle during a football game being tackled.

“Jesus Christ Bucky…I shouldn’t have let Ham get behind the wheel that night. I knew how fucked up he was, we all should have just walked home or something. I didn’t even know what happened until the next day, it was Janie who told me how bad you got hurt. And when I saw you in that hospital bed, fuck John, it hurt so bad. And I was trying to give you space, I really was, I just needed to see you more…alive.” Curt finishes before he’s covering his face again, shoulders shaking slightly. Crying quietly into his palms as he sits there, almost jumping out of his skin when he feels Bucky pulling him into a hug. His arms curling around the taller boy’s shoulders, hugging him tightly while burying his face in his throat. John keeps his arms around the smaller boy’s waist, hugging him to his body.

“I don’t need to forgive you…because you didn’t do anything wrong Curt. But you need to forgive yourself.” John murmurs quietly as he holds his best friend a little tighter to himself. Feeling the way the other boy’s hands scrabble to grab the back of his shirt. Letting him cry for as long as he needs to, rubbing his back through his leather jacket.

————————

“Gale? What are you doing here?” Brady asks as he stops outside of John’s room, furrowing his eyebrows when he sees Gale sitting and reading a book. Brady was coming to sit with Bucky and watch a movie, or the latest episode of the show they’ve been binging. Brady having needed to find something to keep himself occupied now that Gale had gone home. The brunet missing his friend even if they did text every single day.

“I’m waiting for John, he’s in the rec room visiting his friend. How are you? No Benny today?” Gale questions, popping his bookmark into his book. Sitting up straighter in John’s bed, moving one of the wedge pillows the boy has there. Setting his book on John’s tray table, smiling as he sees Brady slowly stepping into the room.

“N no, he had an emergency meeting or something with school. Couldn’t come today.” Brady responds, shrugging softly as he fiddles with his rosary. Rubbing his fingers over the smooth beads, Gale watching as he silently counts them. Realizing briefly that Brady is doing better than when he was first admitted. His hands weren’t always scrubbed raw anymore, and he didn’t pace as often. He had even touched Meatball a handful of times without having a full blown panic attack. Benny giving praise each time, which would in turn make Brady blush a furious red color.

“Are you guys talking more regularly now? I know he asked for your number last time he was here.” Gale says, trying not to pry but wanting his friend to know he can talk. Gale was working hard on making and keeping connections. Still diligently coming to therapy once a week on Thursdays with Maureen. He usually would see John afterwards, and that usually meant he stayed for dinner. Him and Marge lived together now in her two bedroom apartment, so they ate dinner together every night. And Gale would be lying if he said he remembered to eat every meal every day. But he was putting in the conscious effort to at least try.

“Y yea, we are. He texts me pictures of Meatball sometimes…we FaceTimed the other night for a little bit. That was nice, he was doing homework but it was nice to still talk to him.” The blond boy smiles as he looks at his friend, seeing how he’s stopped fidgeting. The beads just an accessory in his hand, holding them in his palm instead of obsessively counting them. Brady knew every groove, every edge, how many beads there are, and how many silver pieces. He knew this rosary like it was a piece of his body, because it was essentially an extension of himself.

“That sounds like it’s really nice, I’m really glad to hear that you guys are talking more.” They both look over at the sound of wheels rolling closer to the room. John coming into view just a moment later, Gale holding his breath slightly. Not sure what kind of mood the older boy is going to be in, watching as he wheels himself into the room. Looking up from where he’s been staring at his knee caps, exposed by his basket ball shorts. A bag of cookies sitting in his lap, chocolate chip if Gale could see correctly.

“Oh…hey Little John, is it marvel movie time?”

John asks, slightly confused as he looks at the brunet, flicking his eyes to Gale. Not really having the energy to entertain Brady tonight but also knowing that he’s been lonely since Gale got discharged. Brady looks at the older boy, before he’s shaking his head slightly, even if it disrupts his routine. He would be okay, he could go to his room or go to the rec room to find something to do. Maybe he would call his sister and see how she was doing, or his mom.

“No, it’s okay. We can watch the movie tomorrow. You look tired. Was just stopping by to see Gale.” He informs the older boy, rising from the chair and smiling a little at them both. Before he’s going to step out, pausing next to John and gently tapping his shoulder. Gale’s jaw dropping slightly as he watches, before Brady is heading from the room. Bucky looks up at his boyfriend, chuckling softly at his expression.

“He just, he touched you! I have gotten exactly one hug from him, and it was one of the most awkward hugs I’ve ever gotten. And he just willingly touched you. He’s doing so good.” The blond says, eyes watering for a moment as he thinks of how far the younger boy has come. John smiling a bit before he’s wheeling himself over towards his bed, letting out a long breath. Parking the chair next to the bed and reaching for the remote to slowly start lowering it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Gale asks as he looks at his boyfriend, chewing on his lower lip as he examines the older’s face. Seeing the pinched skin between his eyebrows, his plush lower lip between his teeth, muscles looking a little tight. John locking the wheels of his chair and moving so he can transfer himself. Gale shifting his body over, ready to get up and help if John’s arms fail at all. Bucky slowly gets himself into the bed, pulling his legs up, while huffing softly from the exertion.

The both of them get under John’s comforter, Gale leaning over to tuck a wedge pillow behind John’s back. Tucking him onto his side gently, while John feels the tears welling. Quickly blinking them back as he lays there, looking up the slightly tanned line of Gale’s neck. Before the blond is laying next to him on his own side, bringing a hand up to gently touch John’s hip in a soothing manner.

“He cried…Curt cried in front of me. I’ve seen him break his ankle, fall out of a tree, flip his dirt bike, have his heart broken. I’ve never seen him cry Gale, he blames himself. He fucking blames himself for what happened…it wasn’t his fault.” John says, the ending coming out in a whisper before tears are finally breaking free. Gale scooting closer to wrap him in a hug, letting John tuck his face into his throat. Little shakes racking up the black haired boy’s shoulders, arms curled and tucked into his sides. The blond letting him cry, gently petting and caressing his hair. Running his fingers through the messy curls, chin pressed against John’s head.

“Are you two going to see each other more? Maybe start talking again?” Gale asks softly once John has calmed down some, said boy’s face tacky with dry salty tears. His forehead pressed into the side of Gale’s throat, breathing having evened out. No longer shuddery when he exhales, his arm curled around the blond’s waist. Needing that skin to skin contact, craving it, it being one of the only things that keeps him calm.

“Yea…said he’s gonna come back next week for another visit. He’s starting a new job though, so he won’t be able to come until dinner time. But thought it would be nice to have dinner with him again, I’ve missed him.” John admits as he breathes deeply, Gale nodding in understanding. Kissing the top of John’s curls, breathing in the faint smell of his shampoo. It always made Gale smile whenever he smelt it, coconutty and absolutely not what he expected. John took good care of his curls, had told him once his older sister Janie would kill him if he didn’t. John may look like a 3 in 1 guy, but he definitely had more shower products than even Gale did.

“I’m glad you guys talked today, I’m glad you’re going to start seeing him more too. I think it’ll be good for you.” Bucky nods his head in agreement, tired from everything that’s happened. PT was physically exhausting, but seeing Curt again and watching the older boy lose it, was a kind of mental exhaustion he didn’t know he could feel. Gale keeps rubbing his back as they lay together, fingers tracing the scars without realizing it. Lulling John into a quiet sleep, nose tucked close to Gale’s pulse point. Long arm curled up under the back of Gale’s sweater, just holding him close.

————————

From: Buck 😍

To: John 😊

‘Are you awake still?’

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘Yea, was finishing an episode of ‘British Bake Off’, fucking Patricia burnt her caramel.’

From: Buck 😍

To: John 😊

‘Six attachments’

“Jesus fuck.” John gasps out, looking up at the closed door of his room out of habit. Laying tucked on his side, wedge pillows stuffed next to his spine and butt. His eyes wide as he clicks on the pictures, jaw dropping as he sees the images of Gale’s cock. Flushed pink, tip looking wet and ruddy, Gale’s hand wrapped around himself. John feels arousal pooling low in his stomach, flicking through the different pictures.

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘Did you text me for a booty call? Because last I checked…you don’t have a car and I can’t drive…’

From: John 😊

To: Buck 😍

‘Your cock is still the prettiest I’ve ever seen…definitely would put you in my mouth if you were here.’

John’s phone buzzes with an impending FaceTime call, swiping to answer it. He’s met with Gale’s bunny face, pink cheeked, a little sweaty, strands of his hair falling on his forehead. Bucky’s eyes go wide, taking in the way the blond is trying to focus on the screen. John is thankful that he has his headphone in his ear, able to hear the way Gale is whimpering quietly.

“Baby…are you touching yourself right now?” John murmurs, his heart speeding up in his chest, shifting just slightly in his bed. Watching the way Gale rapidly nods his head, jaw dropping down on a moan. Slightly high pitched and needy, John groaning softly in response. His eyes watching with rapt attention, the other boy’s phone shaking just slightly. Another whine coming from Gale’s mouth, eyes squeezing shut.

“Wanna, I wanna see your cock. Wanna see you touch yourself…please John?” Gale whimpers out, shifting just slightly on the bed, trying to get a better angle. Opening his eyes to look at John, seeing the way he’s staring at him. Glasses reflecting the light just slightly, his jaw dropped open. His own cheeks tinged a pink color as he lays there, infatuated with the other boy.

“Baby…why don’t I just talk you through it? Are you…fuck are you fingering yourself?” John gets out, watching the little shudder course through Gale’s body. The blond bobbing his head in acknowledgement, moaning as he presses down on his prostate. Desperately wishing he had thought to grab the vibrator, it curved just right inside of him. A frown forming on his face as he lays there, opening his eyes to stare back at his boyfriend.

“Wanna see you cum…please, wanna know you feel good too. Don’t wanna use you.”

“Fuck baby you can use me anytime. God I wish I was there, have your pretty cock in my mouth and put my fingers inside of you. You make the prettiest sounds.” Gale whines softly at the image John is painting behind his eyelids. His fingers pressing into himself a little quicker now, dropping his phone down to flick on the light. Blinding himself momentarily, before he’s trying to set his phone on the nightstand. John groaning when he gets a decent view of Gale, naked on his bed.

“You have such a pretty cock baby…I say it all the time but it’s true. I want you to choke me with it, will you do that next time? Hold my hair and make me take your cock? Oh fuck Gale, how many fingers do you have in yourself?” The black haired boy asks, his stomach tightening slightly as he watches. Gale shifting himself around so he can splay his legs open for John to watch. Stuffing a pillow under his butt to angle himself up enough, knowing he’s been successful when he hears the moan let loose from the older boy.

“Fuck you look so good…want you to ride my face. Just want to get my mouth on you, I should have licked my fingers clean the last time. Put a third finger in baby…mine are bigger than yours…it’ll be a stretch. Oh fuck look at you.” John almost whimpers the end as he watches Gale stuff three of his fingers into himself. His other hand moving as he strokes himself, thighs splayed wide for John to see everything. The boy unable to take his eyes off of the way Gale is touching himself. Listening to the bitten off whimpers from the blond, almost able to hear the wet squelch of lube.

“J John…I’m gonna cum.” Gale gasps out as his thighs tense, pressing against his prostate with every in stroke. His other thumb rubbing quick circles over his tip, a little puddle of precum on the skin below his belly button. Making the hair there sticky, the little mole on his skin shiny. His fingers pushing into himself quicker now, chasing his orgasm. Whines starting up as he works himself towards the edge, listening to John.

“Cum for me doll…cover yourself in it. That’s it, keep going. Fuck I want to watch you lick it off your fingers afterwards…and you’re gonna look at me while you do it. Fuck baby, yes fuck that’s it. You’re a good boy for me, fucking yourself so nicely when I’m not there.” Gale sobs out as he starts to orgasm, strips landing on his stomach and chest. Shivers rolling up his spine as he squeezes around himself tighter, fingers pushed against his sweet spot. Working himself through the aftershocks, able to hear John praising him on the other end of the phone. Glad he popped an ear bud in, not wanting Marge to hear the debauched way John is talking.

He slips his fingers from himself, whining softly at the loss, before he’s going to move so he’s facing John better. Blown pupils meeting the older boy’s, seeing how spit slick his lips are. No doubt from the boy biting down into them, his cheeks a pink color. Gale looks at him, bringing his fingers up to lick them clean. Bucky letting out a little whimper, his jaw dropping open. The blond making a bit of a show of it, sucking his cum off of his fingers.

“Jesus fucking Christ doll…I’m definitely getting you in my mouth next time.” John states once he’s caught his breath, Gale smiling and chuckling a bit. Laying in his bed, blissed out, a little tingly, and now getting sleepy. Turning his head to look back at his boyfriend, he sees him shifting in the bed. Wincing at the pull in his back as he tries to adjust the pillow behind his butt.

“Next time…I’m getting you in my mouth John. You’re lucky I had already started…as much as I enjoyed you talking me through it. I don’t like feeling like I’ve used you…” Gale tells the older boy, shifting to grab his phone, rising from his bed. Snagging his briefs and sneaking out of the bedroom to clean himself in the bathroom quickly.

Putting his finger to his mouth, even though Marge wouldn’t be able to hear John’s voice at all. Wiping himself up and using the restroom before he slides his deep blue briefs back up. Going back to his room and grabbing his pajama pants, pulling those on before he gets into bed. Rubbing his eye and flipping off the lamp, surrounded in darkness again aside from his phone screen.

“Go ahead…I can see it, you’re bursting at the seams.”

“You didn’t use me, I haven’t tried touching myself since the accident. The last time we did anything, it’s the first time someone has touched me since then. I feel awkward playing with my soft dick, don’t know how to do it, not used to not getting hard anymore. I definitely enjoyed watching you touch yourself, it might have single handedly been the hottest thing I’ve ever witnessed.” John states as he looks at his boyfriend, reaching for the remote to lower the upper portion of his bed. Trying to take some pressure off of his back, Gale watching him. Waiting for the boy to get more comfortable, tugging up his blanket to cover his shoulders. The deep green comforter brought from home by his little sister, a little weighted and keeping John pleasantly warm.

“I respect what you’re saying…I want you to know though. It still turns me on to see your dick, even if it is soft. I still enjoy making you cum, watching your facial expressions. Listening to your sounds, it’s still hot to me. You don’t ever have to touch yourself, but never be embarrassed about it. Because, I enjoy your cock, and I think if we work together we can make it good for you.” John feels his face get hot, the tips of his ears burning a little bit. Burying his face in the blanket for a minute as he contemplates what he wants to say. His glasses fogging up just a little bit as he lays there with a little smile on his face. Gale smiling victoriously, he rarely ever got John to go quiet.

“Waxing poetic on me here Buck. Really know how to make a guy feel special.”

“Nah…I just know how to make you feel special.” The blond responds while smiling a little to himself, eyes closing as he listens to the soft chuckle flow through the speakers. Sleepiness invading his senses, body feeling heavy and relaxed from his orgasm. Listening as John says something about talking more tomorrow, already too far gone in sleep to respond.

————————

“Buck what are you doing? I need to shower, I smell.” John says as he gets wheeled into his room, the door clicking closed behind them both. Gale humming softly as he rolls the older boy over to his bed, grabbing the remote to lower it down.

“You are getting a massage today, and I’m going to suck your cock.” Gale states with a little shrug like it’s not a big deal, John choking on his Gatorade as he looks up at his boyfriend. Eyes widening as he sees that he is completely serious, the blond getting the bed down. Turning back to look at John with a little smirk on his lips.

“So do you want your massage first or your cock sucked? Because I’m down for either right now.”

“Jesus Christ Gale…what if someone walks in?” John gets out, clutching the bottle in his hand tightly. Feeling arousal pooling in his lower stomach, his eyes wide. Gale sits on the side of the bed, pulling John over towards himself. His large hands sliding up the older boy’s thighs, squeezing gently before he’s leaning in to press a kiss to John’s cheek. Kissing in a slow move over to the other boy’s lips, pushing his mouth against his. Sucking and nipping at his lower lip, dragging a hand up to grab at John’s chest, pinching at his nipple over his shirt.

“If someone knocks at the door, you’re going to tell them you’re laying down for a nap…do you want me to suck your cock John?” Gale murmurs as he drags his nose across the older boy’s jaw, moving over to nip at his ear. Goosebumps forming on John’s skin, his eyes fluttering closed. Whimpering when Gale slides his hand into his shirt to pinch and tug at his nipple. His other hand rubbing down onto John’s length through his shorts, squeezing slightly. The black haired boy whining at the dual sensations, hands gripping the arm rests of his chair.

“Fuck…of course I want you to suck my cock doll…oh fuck.” He gasps out when Gale pushes his hand into his shorts and briefs, gliding across the hair on John’s pelvic bone. Scratching through it gently, before he curls his hand around John’s soft cock. Squeezing gently, letting go and continuing on to cup the older boy’s balls. Rubbing his thumb over the globes, massaging them in his palm. Listening to the hiccuping breaths coming from John, bringing his face back so he can watch the other’s expressions.

“Does it feel good John?” The black haired boy nods, eyes fluttering closed as he moans softly. His stomach sucking in when Gale grips him a little tighter, tugging softly before letting go. Pulling John’s shorts down enough for his length to spill out, both of them looking down. John opening his mouth, before making a sound as two of Gale’s fingers are shoving past his lips.

“Don’t…I can see you getting ready to apologize, I’ll stop if you do. Let me play with you, let me make you feel good, yea?” The blond asks as he looks at the other boy, seeing him bob his head, a smile forming on his face. Slipping his fingers from John’s mouth as he slides down onto the floor. Situating John’s foot pedals so he can scoot closer, pulling his hair into a low bun. Securing it with a hair tie off of his wrist, his hands skimming across the other’s thighs. Humming softly as he does, smiling at the black haired boy.

“You always say my cock is pretty…have you seen yours? It’s so thick John, I’d feel you for days.” Gale states as he wraps his hand around his length, squeezing softly and tilting him up. Leaning down to lick across his tip, hearing the little whimper fall from Bucky’s mouth. His eyes flicking up while he smiles, before he’s flattening his tongue. Licking down the underside, going down to his balls and sucking one into his mouth. Laving his tongue around, humming softly and shifting to the other one. Making a popping sound when he pulls off, dragging his tongue back up John’s cock.

“Oh fuck Gale…keep going…please.” John murmurs as his lower stomach spasms, his eyes flicking to the door. Before he’s groaning at the feel of Gale wrapping his lips around his tip, sucking and flicking his tongue. Dipping it into the little slit, while his long fingers squeeze and move in little increments. Bucky’s eyes dropping back down to watch, one of his hands coming down to clutch at Gale’s bicep where it’s resting on his thigh. Whining when he feels the blond suck at him a little harder, dipping his head in an even motion now.

“You look so pretty…your lips are so pretty. Fuck Gale, oh fucking shit.” The black haired boy pants out as his nose scrunches up, his hand desperately gripping at Gale’s bicep. Gale moaning as he gets a little salty taste suddenly, flicking his tongue back up to John’s tip. Looking up to watch as John’s head falls back, the pale expanse of his neck exposed. Gale sliding his hand down to squeeze and massage his balls, tugging at them slightly. John’s free hand slapping up to cover his mouth as he moans, blunt nails digging into Gale’s inner arm. The blond presses all of the way down, nose touching the hair at John’s base. Swallowing around him, his tip touching the back of his throat and lodging there perfectly.

“I’m, fuck, Gale, I’m gonna cum. P pull up, fuck pull up.” John gasps out, shuddering at the growl released from Gale’s chest. Eyes flicking down to meet the little glare on the blond boy’s face. Feeling as Gale rubs his balls again, squeezing and massaging. Looking right up at John and watching as the tears well in the black haired boy’s eyes. His chin tipping to his chest as he starts to orgasm, jaw dropping open with stuttered out whimpers. Gale’s eyes fluttering a little as he tastes the dribbles spilling from John, salty and a little bitter. Pulling back slowly, licking at him the entire time as he goes. Before he’s popping off, panting quietly as he kneels between John’s legs on the floor.

“Did so well John, tastes so good.” Gale murmurs, voice a little hoarse as he carefully helps tuck the older’s cock away. Leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of John’s lips, smiling when he is being nose bumped. Their lips meeting in a kiss, both of them letting out soft sounds as they sit there. Before Gale is hoisting himself up onto the side of John’s bed, resting his forehead on the older’s. Jumping a bit when he feels John’s warm palm sliding up his thigh, squeezing softly.

“This was about you, I’m alright. Let’s get you into the shower and then I’m rubbing you down with this oil that Marge swears by.” The blond says smiling softly as he looks at his boyfriend, John taking a deep breath. Looking up at Gale with slightly sleepy eyes, the workout from PT combined with the blowjob making him tired. His large hand going around to hold the back of Gale’s neck and head. Pulling him close for a kiss, sucking gently at the blond’s lower lip. Both of them melting into the touch, just enjoying the push and pull of their mouths.

“You’re going to tell me if I hurt you at all right?” Gale asks as he kneels over the backs of John’s calves, the boy stripped down to his basket ball shorts. Fresh from the shower, skin still a little damp, curls wet and floppy. His head pillowed by his forearms, bed completely flat giving them plenty of room. The bottle of oil that Marge insisted he get for this warming between Gale’s hands.

“I’ll let you know Buck, can’t hurt worse than it always does anyways.” Bucky responds with a little shrug, resting his heavy head on the back of his hands. Gale frowning at that comment, before he’s uncapping the bottle and squeezing some into his palm. Dropping the bottle onto the bed, rubbing his hands together, and gently setting them to one of John’s thighs. Feeling the coarse, curly hair there digging his thumbs in gently. Working the tense muscles with a careful touch, covering John’s entire thighs and going down to his calves.

“You’re in pain because your muscles are like locked in an iron grip. God damn John.” Gale mumbles as he rubs and digs his thumbs in, listening to the even breathing that John is doing. The boy not responding to most of the touches, even if his skin goosebumps up. The sensation is dull, tingling going up his legs, before Gale is moving up his thighs again. Smirking as he massages the tense muscles under John’s butt, squeezing gently.

“Trying to get fresh with me Buck?” Gale snorts softly as he shakes his head a bit, smiling as he continues on his journey. Feeling John stiffen a bit when he gets to his hips, tugging the waist band of his shorts down slightly. Looking at the scars sitting there, before he’s leaning down and pressing his lips to the line. The scar tissue thick, raised up off of John’s skin, and a dark reddish pink color. Still in the process of fully healing, a little shudder going up the older boy’s back. More goosebumps rising as he lays there, able to fully feel Gale’s hands on him now.

“I already got fresh with you John…I’m trying to get you to relax for me.” The blond answers as he drips more oil into his hands and warms it. Before he’s massaging the pale expanse of the other boy’s back, rubbing his thumbs in soothing swipes. Feeling the tension slowly leaking out of John’s body, his eyes fluttering closed.

Letting a soft sigh spill from his lips, feeling the way Gale rests on his thighs. Being mindful of how hard he presses on certain areas, admiring the imperfections in John’s skin. Freckles, moles, stretch marks along his hips and under his arm pits. A few faint scars from bad acne breakouts, followed by the surgical scars lining his spine.

“That feels good…thank you.” John hums softly, muscles feeling like goo as he lays there. Eyes closed, cheek squished against the back of his hand, body completely lax. Gale smiles a bit as he continues, finishing up by John’s neck and shoulders. Pressing his forehead against the back of John’s barely damp curls. Breathing deeply, getting hit with the coconut scent of his shampoo and conditioner.

“You don’t have to thank me…but you’re welcome.” Gale murmurs as he turns John’s head with a bump of his nose to his ear. Smiling as he places a kiss to John’s cheek, nuzzling close for a minute. Feeling the way John’s cheek crinkles up with a smile, both of them breathing quietly for a few moments.

“I love you.” Gale whispers after a few minutes, his heart freezing in his chest. Not at all having expected that to spill out from his mouth, pulling away from John’s face. Seeing the way John has turned his head more to try and look at Gale. His own eyes wide, making Gale want to shrink away worried that he’s just ruined all of this.

“I love you too Gale.” John responds in a soft voice, trying to shift so he can look at the blond boy. Gale moving off of his body, sitting next to him with slick hands. Staring at his palms, heart still racing, stomach in knots. Before he feels John’s big fingers gently touching his cheek, getting him to meet his gaze.

“I mean it Gale…I really do love you. I think I have for a while now.”

“I love you too John…which terrifies me…” John nods his head in understanding, rubbing his thumb across Gale’s high cheek bone. Before he’s bringing the blond’s forehead against his own, their noses bumping. Both of them breathing quietly, John not wanting to overwhelm Gale at all. His fingers rubbing and massaging the nape of his neck, gently playing with the longer strands.

“What scares you about it?” The black haired man asks softly as he rubs his thumb under Gale’s ear gently. Reaching for the little towel he keeps by his bedside, offering it to Gale to wipe his hands off. Watching as the blond meticulously wipes the oil off of his hands, making sure it’s not stuck between his fingers at all.

“I’ve never had someone love me for just being me. Except for Marge…and Marge has seen me through some awful stuff. I’ve never had someone love me just because they want to, it usually comes with stipulations. My dad used me when he could and he beat me because he could. My mom had her own issues, she was a bipolar depressive woman who had a kid she didn’t want. This is all new for me…and new scares me. I’m scared you’re going to look at me one day and decide you don’t want me anymore. I’m terrified that I’m going to hurt you like my dad and mom hurt me. I don’t want that to happen, I don’t want us to turn into them.” Gale explains as he stares at his hands, John laying on his side staring at his boyfriend. Before he’s gently turning the blond’s face to look at him, eyes soft and tender. Brushing his long strands of hair back, trying to get the other boy to look at him. Taking a deep breath in and choosing his words wisely.

“My love isn’t conditional…my love doesn’t demand you be anything but yourself. I love this Gale that’s sitting in front of me, this one sitting here is holding my heart in his hands. I didn’t know your parents, but if they were like mine. I’m aiming to be nothing like my dad, he was a mean piece of work when he wanted to be. And my ma didn’t deserve that, I have no idea why she’s still with him. I’m not saying this to compare trauma either Gale. But if we don’t want to turn into them…then we’ve actively got to work to not be them.” John explains as he looks at the blond, finally getting his cornflower blue eyes to come up. A shiny glassy sheen over them, before he’s nodding his head in agreement. Letting John pull him into a hug, his chin resting on the other’s shoulder. His thinner arm curling around John’s waist, both of them just resting together.

“Just so you know…I’m absolutely going to randomly tell you I love you now. So good luck with that.” John murmurs a little while later, Gale smiling and letting a little chuckle slip from his mouth. Pressing a kiss to John’s cheek and snuggling close, enjoying how warm the older boy’s body is compared to his own.

“I won’t ever say no to you telling me you love me.” Gale murmurs as he kisses John’s cheek again, smiling when the older boy brings him over for a proper kiss. Gale making a mental note to get chapstick for John, but still enjoying the feel of his lips against his own.

————————

“Hi Gale, he’s back in his room. I know he’s had a headache, so he might be napping.” Nurse Hadley says smiling when she sees the blond making his way through the corridor. Having come from the floor above, therapy having been good that day. He had worked through a lot of emotions with Maureen pertaining to applying to school, and how that will change his life.

“Thank you Nurse Hadley.” He replies before heading down the hallway for Bucky’s room, a little pep in his step. He felt good today, not in a manic way where everything felt good with no consequences. But in a, life is getting a little better kind of way, a way he doesn’t feel like he’s treading water. Rather he’s floating in it, he’s able to relax just a smidge and breathe for the first time in forever.

Stepping into John’s room makes him smile, the sketches from Janelle are hanging on the wall, his giant calendar decorated for the month. There’s a few photos on his dresser now, the one of him and Curt placed delicately. The plastic covering it is still broken, but John won’t replace it. The smell in the room is completely John, his cologne mixed with his body wash.

Something woodsy, it reminds Gale of hiking in the summertime with Marge when they were younger. He looks up to see John sleeping in bed, laying on his left side with his pillows tucked all around him. His glasses are crooked on his face, like he fell asleep waiting, his phone face down on the bed. No doubt he was watching more ‘Great British Bake Off’, the obsession he had with that show Gale would never understand.

He quietly sets his satchel bag down on the chair, before he’s stepping over and gently taking off John’s glasses. Setting them on the tray table near by, picking up his phone to plug it in. Bucky was notorious for it just dying, he never seemed to realize it was dwindling down quickly. He goes to pull back John’s comforter, humming softly as he feels how soft it is between his fingers. Before he’s resting his hand on the bed to slide in, furrowing his brows at the wetness that meets his fingertips. Pulling his hand up and lifting the blankets a little more, his face is falling when realization takes over.

“John…honey, you’ve gotta get up. John.” Gale says quietly as he gently touches John’s shoulder with his dry hand. Trying not to startle the older boy, he runs his fingers through his curls softly. Before he gently shakes John, the older making a quiet sound as his face scrunches up. Squeezing his eyes shut before he’s opening them, smiling when his blurry eyes see Gale.

“Mm hi baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Come cuddle me.” John murmurs as he rubs his eye sleepily, briefly reminding Gale of a giant toddler. Lifting his head slightly, curls in a complete disarray before he’s able to see Gale’s expression. Shifting an arm down, his expression drops when he feels the wetness under him. Looking down quickly and almost making himself dizzy from the head tilt he sees the wet spot under him. Gale watching as a flurry of emotion filters across Bucky’s face, horror, shock, embarrassment, and then anger finally settling.

“John, it’s okay, let me call Rebecca or I think Sam is here today. It’s okay honey.” John doesn’t bring his eyes up to Gale, pushing the blankets down and glaring at his lap. His big hand is trying to blindly reach for his chair next to the bed. Groping around the air for it, before he’s suddenly almost tipping off the bed. The blond letting out a squawk and lunging for him, grabbing him by his shirt and kneeling in the wet spot with one knee. Keeping John stationed on the bed, their foreheads almost colliding.

“John stop, you’re going to hurt yourself. Let me call Sam in and he can help you. If you won’t let me, let him. I don’t want you to brain yourself on the floor. It was an accident, they happen, you couldn’t control that.” Gale is saying even as Bucky is shaking his head a bit. Hot tears forming in his eyes as he sits there, mortification sitting heavily in his stomach. A little whimper coming up his throat as he sits there, looking down at the bed again. Another sound slipping from his mouth when he sees that Gale is kneeling in his urine.

“I’m not a toddler…toddlers have accidents. I fucking pissed myself like a toddler. And now you’re fucking kneeling in it, you put your hand in it. All because I couldn’t fucking remember to go pee before I got into bed.” John gets out, trying desperately to not break down and cry. He did not want to cry in front of Gale, it would solidify his toddler stand point.

Refusing to meet the blond’s eyes as they both stay in the bed, before he’s catching the movement of Gale’s hand going to hit the call light. A defeated puff of air leaving his throat, a few hot tears of shame leaking down his cheeks. Before he’s quickly scrubbing his hands across his face when the knock on the door sounds. Nurse Hadley smiling as she steps in, before she’s seeing Gale holding both of John’s forearms.

“How can I help?” She’s asking as she closes the door 3/4 of the way, pumping hand sanitizer into her palm and stepping over. Eyes assessing everything she can see, landing on the wet spot on the bed, before she gets eyes on John again. Gale takes a deep breath as he looks at his boyfriend, waiting for him to talk. Not knowing how John wants to word this, not wanting to upset him any further.

“I need to take a shower…had an…I had an accident.” John mumbles the ending, Hadley nodding her head and going towards the connected bathroom. Turning on the shower head before stepping back out, lowering the bed a bit and pulling John’s chair over. Gale meets the nurse’s eyes for a second, before he’s watching her grab one of the towels off of John’s dresser and setting it on the seat.

“Okay, can you slide over? That’s it.” Hadley murmurs as she helps John into his chair, Gale letting go of his forearms. Kneeling there for a minute before John is slowly wheeling himself to the bathroom. Nurse Hadley is standing there for a minute, before she’s stepping over to the door frame. Letting John know she’ll bring him in some fresh towels, and to let her know when he’s ready to come out.

“I can change his sheets…I don’t think his comforter is dirty.“ Gale murmurs as he slowly gets off the bed, pushing said blanket down towards the foot of it. Wincing a little at the wetness coating the knees of his jeans, but knowing John probably has pants he can burrow. Hadley steps out into the hallway quietly, flagging down Rebecca to get towels, fresh sheets, and John’s pain medicine.

“John…can I come in? I need to wash my hands and change my pants.” Gale asks after he’s knocked on the door, hearing an affirming noise come from the older boy. He steps inside, being met by the steam from the shower, breathing deeply as he goes to wash his hands quietly. A pair of John’s joggers tucked under his arm, a drawstring on the waist so he can pull them snug on himself. He leans against the counter for a second, looking at the outline of John sitting under the water. His shower chair being pelted by the stream, while he sits there staring at the wall.

“I hope it’s okay that I’m burrowing your pants…I don’t have any here.” Gale says as he stands there, chewing on his lower lip. The water cutting off suddenly, John moving the curtain to the side to look at him. His eyes red rimmed, no doubt he had been crying in the shower. His curls are sopping wet on his forehead, almost reminding Gale of a long haired cat when they get wet. But his heart breaking at the expression on John’s face, his features trying to show no emotion. His eyes the only thing giving away how utterly devastated he’s feeling.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry you got my piss on your pants. I’m sorry my useless body can’t fucking work right. I’m sorry my dick doesn’t do what it’s supposed to. I’m sorry Gale.” John almost whimpers the end, the blond dropping the jogger pants onto the counter behind himself. Pressing his front to the other boy’s wet chest, not giving a damn if his sweater and shirt get soaked. His arms curling around the back of John’s neck to keep his face pressed against Gale’s chest. While John sits in the shower chair, crying quietly into the blond’s shirt.

“Your body isn’t useless John, you have no idea how strong you are. You’ve been through so much, you didn’t do anything wrong. Nobody is mad at you, except for you, you’re being your own worst enemy right now. You’re punishing yourself for something out of your control sweetheart.” Gale tells him softly, holding him close and rubbing his nose across his wet hair, squeezing him just a little tighter. Feeling as the shaking subsides in John’s shoulders, little wet sniffles coming from the older boy. Gale can feel shivers starting up John’s body, looking up just as Nurse Hadley is stepping in with towels.

Smiling softly at them, both Gale and Hadley wrapping John in two towels. One just wasn’t enough to cover his broad body, before she’s helping John transfer into his chair. Something he usually has no issues with but his entire body was drained. Arms shaking slightly, brain feeling exhausted and gooey, before he’s letting Hadley wheel him out. Gale changing his pants quickly before stepping out, watching as John gets dressed slowly. The older boy silently offering the blond a shirt, knowing he soaked his through.

“John, I’ve got your pain medicine here.” Nurse Hadley says softly as she comes over with the little medicine cup, John situated in his bed now. Pillows tucked around him to keep him comfortable, heating pad pressed into his middle spine. Gale tucking the comforter around his body, before he’s grabbing his water bottle. The thing covered in stickers courtesy of Janelle, John’s younger sister collecting them just to come and slap them on the metal bottle. Bucky accepts the medicine cup, tipping his head back and taking his water to wash them down.

“Gale…can you just, hold me for a little while tonight?” John murmurs once the blond has gotten into the bed again, blankets tucked around them both. Gale smiling a little and nodding his head, helping John shift around. Until Bucky is tucked into his side, his arm curled over Gale’s torso, head nestled into the crook of Gale’s neck and shoulder. While the blond gently rubs his back, fingers soft and sweet.

“I love you John.”

“I love you too Gale.”

————————

“Hi Brady…can I sit?” Benny asks smiling as he looks at the brunet boy, sitting on a bench in the court yard. The soft mid summer breeze blowing through his hair, the sun shining down and making him almost look angelic. Brady looks up and squints softly, seeing Benny standing there before he’s nodding his agreement. The tanned boy smiling as he sits down, keeping enough distance between them.

“No Meatball today?” Brady asks, voice soft with unsureness, trying not to fidget where he’s sitting. Benny is smiling softly when he sees that Brady’s rosary is laying across his thigh, not clasped in his hands today. He could pass for almost calm, if it wasn’t for his fingers tapping a rhythm against his thigh.

“Nah, it’s a little too hot out for him today. But I still wanted to come by…and see you.” Brady is silent for a few minutes, mulling words over in his head. His stomach feeling like it’s wrapped itself around a telephone pole, his palms breaking out in a sweat. The boy wanting to scrub his hands clean, he hated being sweaty. He hated the feel of it on his skin, he hated the feeling of it drying, he hated it all together.

“Benny…I, I really like you. I’ve liked you for a long time now, and I’ve never done anything like this before. I’ve never wanted to hold someone’s hand the way I want to hold yours. I’ve never wanted to see someone smile the way I want to see you smile. I’m, I’m scared Benny. But I don’t want to be scared anymore.” Brady blurts out suddenly, his eyes squeezing shut as he sits there. His heart in his throat, stomach dropping before he’s frantically grabbing for his beads. Fiddling with them as he tries to calm himself down, Benny giving him a minute. Trying to formulate his own words, a pleasant bubble of happiness blooming in his chest. A little grin tugging at the edges of his lips, before he sees the drop of Brady’s shoulders.

“I like you too Brady…I don’t want you to be scared either. We can take this at your pace, there’s no rush. I’d be happy to just sit next to you every day, but I’d be absolutely okay with holding your hand. What if we start out small? Maybe just locking pinkies for now?” Benny offers as he holds up his hand, flicking out his pinky as if he’s getting ready to make promises. Brady looks at him, the breath leaving his lungs in a slow puff. Before he’s nodding a little and raising his hand up, linking their pinkies together shyly. Eyes closing at the skin to skin contact, something he hasn’t allowed willingly for a very long time. Not seeing the smile that graces Benny’s features as he sees the way Brady’s shoulders slump into a calm posture.

————————

“Curt this is Buck, Buck this is Curt.” John introduces as all three of them sit in the rec area. Curt snorts softly as he looks at his best friend before he’s looking at Gale. The blond’s eyebrows scrunching together, wondering if Curt is judging him. Before the black haired boy is leaning over and shoving Bucky’s shoulder slightly.

“You named him Buck? Jesus Christ Bucky, you shoulda just tattooed your name on him if you were gonna mark your claim.” Curt says before he’s laughing and shaking his head slightly, smiling at the younger boy. Gale looking at his boyfriend just to see him smiling a little bit at his fingers. Curt wiping the tears off of his cheeks, hearty laughs finally subsiding. Before he’s looking at Gale again and grinning cheekily, shoving his hand out for a handshake.

“My name is actually Gale, but he wouldn’t accept that as an answer when we first met.” The youngest says as he shakes Curt’s hand, feeling the callouses on his fingers. Similar to the way John’s palms were bumped over from wheeling himself in his chair. Curt shoots him a smile before he’s looking at Bucky again, causing Gale to look over. Slightly shocked to see the heated flushed covering John’s cheeks up to the tips of his ears.

“Why am I not surprised? This bastard is territorial if you haven’t noticed by now. But it’s nice to meet you Gale, he hasn’t shut up about you whenever I come by. ‘Buck this’ and ‘Buck that’, it’s good to put a face to a name. Not that he hasn’t shown me pictures.” Curt goads while smirking at his best friend, John groaning quietly at the ribbing he’s receiving. Gale smiling a little as he looks at the older boy, watching the blush get darker on his skin. John bringing his palms up to rub across his face, a bashful expression on his features.

“Alright, alright stop it now. You’ve made a fool of me enough today. I’m going to regret introducing you both.” John groans loudly as he shakes his head, reaching for Gale’s hand to hold it in his own. John was tactile, he liked to be touched and to touch. Buck rubs his thumb across the older’s knuckles in a gentle swipe. Feeling the little squeeze he gets in return, smiling softly as he does.

“Yea…he is a bastard isn’t he?” Curt cracks up again, laughing loudly as he sits there. Shaking his head with a giant smile lighting up his entire face, eyes crinkling. Making Gale chuckle softly while John tips his head back, just glad that two of the most important people in his life are getting along.

————————

“Careful of the lip, Janelle make sure the chair doesn’t hit the door.” Janie says as she pushes John’s chair through the threshold of his and Curt’s new apartment. Both boys renting out a handicap accessible place, John unable to live by himself quite yet. Gale and him had briefly talked about moving in together, but had decided against it. Gale was still new in his own recovery, and taking care of John would be too much. Curt had happily offered to move in with John, it got him out of his Nan’s house, and he missed seeing John every day.

“If the wall gets scuffed it isn’t a problem, don’t worry about it girls.” Curt says from where he’s setting John’s bags down on the couch, smiling at his friend. Seeing the smile that John flashes back, the car ride over had been eventful. John hadn’t ridden in a car since he was transferred from the hospital to the rehab center. He was white knuckling the door the entire time, Janie’s little car was hard for him to get into. It had pinched his back a bit, making the muscles tense and strain. Janelle had been talking a mile a minute in the backseat, while Curt and Gale had followed in his car with John’s stuff.

“This place is so cute! Aww John your room has a really good view of the pond back here! I bet there will be ducks and swans too!” Janelle squeals happily, having stepped off to explore once they got John inside all of the way. Gale searching in the bags for John’s medicine, knowing without a doubt his boyfriend is in pain. Janie fussing over John’s curls, brushing them off his forehead. While Curt is bringing John’s stuff to his room, his special bed already having been delivered. Any speciality pillows he needed sitting on the king sized mattress.

“I’m so sorry we didn’t meet before Gale, our schedules just never seemed to align. But I’ve heard a lot about you, you’ve got my brother smitten.” The older girl says, smiling as she looks up from her brother. Her smile exactly like John’s making her pretty blue eyes crinkle up, her own curly hair pulled up into a claw clip. John makes a soft sound, scrunching his nose, while Gale smiles a little bit. Stepping over with John’s metal water bottle, and a pain pill in his palm.

“I’ve been told that a few times now…it’s really nice to meet you too Janie. John has told me a lot about you and Janelle. Here John…it’s one of the lower dose pills.” He murmurs as he holds out the white tablet, before he’s offering the bottle next. John accepting both, wincing as he shifts in his chair again. Janie frowning when she sees how much pain her brother is in, brushing his hair back again softly. Gale smiling a little when he sees how much John’s sister loves him, and how much he loves her in return. Already opening his mouth to insist that he’s fine, just stiff from PT, even though he hadn’t had PT that day.

“Speaking of PT, when do you go back? How many days a week?” Curt asks as he steps back into the room, looking at the other three. Janelle already in John’s room, unpacking his bags for him. Janie out at her car, getting her scissors and hair cutting tools, commenting that John’s hair was too long. It needed to be trimmed up, his face needing a good shave too and she was determined to do it for him.

“I go back on Monday, it’ll be three days a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.” John murmurs as he sits in his chair, slightly overwhelmed from everything that has happened in just the last few hours. Gale brushes his fingers over John’s neck, rubbing in a gentle motion. Smiling softly before he’s leaning in to press a kiss to John’s lips, bumping their noses together softly. John reaching for him to tug him close, Gale slipping into his lap, his arm curling around the older’s neck.

“Ugh stop it you two…you’re gonna make me hurl.” Curt groans as he comes to the living room carrying a drink for himself, Janelle giggling as she comes down the hallway. While Janie steps back into the apartment, carrying her hair cutting tools and a box. Smiling when she sees John and Gale sitting together, a blush rising on the blond’s cheeks before he’s shyly trying to get off of John’s lap. John letting out a little sound, lips pushing out in a pout at the loss of his boyfriend in his lap.

“C’mon…your sister wants to cut your unruly mop.” Gale murmurs as he kisses John’s forehead, before he’s wheeling him into the bathroom. Janie smiling as she follows behind, watching as John gently wraps his hand around Gale’s wrist. Bringing the blond boy’s hand up to press a kiss to his knuckles, breathing deeply as they stay together for a moment.

“I’m going to make sure Curt doesn’t order the entire menu at the pizza place. I’ll be just a call away though if you want me back in here.” Gale says after a quiet minute, kissing John’s forehead shyly. Slipping out around Janie, before she’s stepping in and smiling a little. Janelle sneaking into the room to sit on the closed toilet lid, bringing her knee up to rest her chin on. Staring at her brother’s profile, smiling when she wants him breathing evenly.

“When are you two getting married?” The youngest Egan asks with a smile on her lips, John makes a sound at that. Shaking his head a bit before Janie is keeping his head still, combing out his curls. Being mindful of any tangles or snarls he might have, smiling when she sees how relaxed he becomes. He always reminded her of a dog when he was little, a few scratches to his head and he was putty. Rolling over and showing his belly to whoever gave him the attention.

“We’ve only been together for a few months Janelle…I don’t think either of us are thinking of marriage yet.” John says as he feels Janie beginning to cut his hair. Hearing the little scoff his baby sister lets out, the flick placed to his arm making him huff. Janie making a sound to tell him to keep still, concentrating on just trimming. She wasn’t cutting his curls off, they had spent too much time getting them to look good. She had taught him too much to just lob them all off, and he had spent too much money on curl care products.

“The way you two look at each other is true love. And you can’t tell me I’m wrong, I just won’t listen to it.” Both of the older Egans chuckle at that, smiling a bit at their sister’s antics. Janie brushing the stray hairs away from his collar, tilting his head to work on the sides. Her eyes meeting John’s in the mirror, smiling at him softly. Leaning down to kiss the top of his head, going back to trimming the sides of his hair.

“I do love him, but I don’t think we’re ready for marriage quite yet Jelly Bean.” She huffs and waves her hand at him, making Janie chuckle quietly. Running her fingers through the younger boy’s hair, shaking the curls out. Gauging how much more she’s going to trim off, humming softly as she goes. Something both her and John do, hum to themselves whenever they’re trying to concentrate. It didn’t matter the tune, didn’t matter the song, it was just a constant stream of noise coming from them.

“What do you think of him Janie?” John murmurs once Janelle has wandered off to see what’s been ordered for dinner. The older girl shifts him around to get to the front of his head, trimming up the pieces that cover his forehead. Getting them all to fall into their rightful places, pushing them back and smiling at her brother.

“I think he’s incredibly sweet Johnny, I can see how much you both care for one another. I’m glad he’s been there for you when we couldn’t be. Has ma met him yet?” John lets out a soft breath, shaking his head a bit. Watching as Janie nods softly in understanding, snipping a few more pieces of hair. Changing out her scissors for some texturizing ones, not that the boy needed the volume. She leans down and kisses his forehead, something she hasn’t had to do since he was 10 and she was 15. He had shot up and towered over her, the boy always the one to lean down to give her kisses and hugs.

“I get it, I know mama misses you, but she’s a grown adult, she’s known where you’re at. It’s on her if she hasn’t come to see you…I’m not going to preach about them. You’re home, you’re safe, and I love you.” The black haired girl states as she looks down at him, seeing the little quirk of his lips. She smiles at him, before she’s tilting his head up to look at him better. Hugging around his neck, kissing his forehead and breathing deeply. John’s arms wrapping around her waist, both of them just enjoying this moment. Janie not taking for granted the feel of her little brother in her arms again.

She had been terrified when she got the call from their mom, had rushed down in the middle of the night. She had been one of the first in the room to see him, one of the first to touch him when he was in the coma. She had made the phone calls to people, she was the strong one. She was always the strong one when it came to her younger siblings, she was nick named Mother Hen for a reason. She took care of her babies, whether they were actually her’s or not.

“I love you too Janie.” John murmurs into her shirt, squeezing her tight to himself. Breathing in her soft familiar lotion, the feel of her hands on him comforting. More comforting than even their mother’s hands, she was always there for him. If he ever had an issue he knew he could go to Janie. She never pushed him away, she never judged him, she raised him more than his mother did. And he loved his mom, but nobody would ever take the place of Janie.

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John has been home for exactly a week when he has his first nightmare, he had worked hard that day. PT was grueling, a migraine had taken place behind his eye, and his spine felt brittle. Resigning himself to bed early had been a no brainer for him, texting Gale to let him know. He was passed out before he even got a chance to see if Gale had responded.

John is back in the jeep with Ham behind the wheel, loud music is blasting from the speakers. Curt is in the backseat singing the music loudly, all three of them are laughing. All three of them had partaken in drinking at the frat party they had gone to. John is looking over and suddenly he’s seeing the curve coming into view, and he’s reaching for the wheel. Everything is in slow motion, it’s all happening and there’s no way for him to stop it. Glass is shattering, cutting his cheeks, the sound of it ear piercing. The sound being his own screams, mixed with Curt’s before he’s being propelled from the seat. Belt failing and snapping, going through the windshield and slamming into the ground. White hot burning pain taking over, agony ripping down his body.

John is bolting up, screams flowing from his mouth, his blankets tangling him up. Suffocating him, trapping him in place, and he’s shoving everything away. Trying to get out of bed, trying to get away from the things pinning him down. Knocking into his night stand, before he’s tumbling out of bed, the lamp on his table following him in his descent to the floor. The glass bulb shattering and spewing everywhere, a few pieces knicking his cheek. All while he’s fighting the sheets and still screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Ham! Stop the car! Stop! Please stop!” He’s shrieking, trying to kick his legs but unable to, stuck laying in a sprawl on the wood floor of his bedroom. Upper body on the ground while his lower half is caught in the sheets, causing him to almost dangle. Hot tears are rolling thickly down his cheeks, he doesn’t hear the door opening. Or Curt’s voice trying to soothe him, but he does feel hands touching him. Making him wail louder, pushing and fighting against it, not wanting it to drag him under. Under to the dark place that almost took him all those months ago.

“Bucky! Bucky it’s me! It’s Curt, I’m here. You’re alright, John it’s a nightmare!” Curt is trying to say, receiving a few hits to his chest and arms. Trying hard to not restrain his best friend, but not wanting him to roll right into the broken glass. He isn’t even blinking before he’s grabbing John’s phone, typing in the passcode and hitting the familiar contact. Trying desperately to get John to stop howling, his voice having gone hoarse from the sound. Curt’s trying to get his lower half untangled from the sheets and blankets. Terrified John is going to hurt himself, the twisting and thrashing he’s doing making it worse.

“Hi honey, I thought you were…John?! What’s happening?!” Gale’s sleep filled voice is entering Curt’s ear, his own voice coated with tears. Throat feeling tight as he sits there, he knew exactly what John was feeling. He had nightmares like his for weeks after the accident, screaming himself awake. His Nan had almost had a heart attack the first time, and that was why he had moved himself into her basement.

“Gale, I can’t, John’s having a nightmare. I can’t get him to wake up. I don’t know what to do, please…I’m so sorry.” Curt can hear Gale moving on the other side, getting himself dressed and calling for Marge. Promising he’ll be there soon, the sound of John’s warbles heart breaking in the background. While Curt kneels there as if he’s going to pray, tears beginning to drip down his own face. Trying to make sure John doesn’t roll into the broken glass, trying to talk to him.

“We’re here, let us in. I’m here.” Gale pants almost 15 minutes later, John’s cries having quieted down to high pitched whimpers. Face smooshed into the cold wood of his bedroom floor, shakes racking up his body. Curt not daring to touch him, scared to leave him alone. But getting up and running for the front door, unlocking it and stepping off to the side. Gale and Marge both standing there, in their pajamas, hair sleep mussed. Mirrored worried expressions on their faces before Gale is rushing forward for his boyfriend. Marge takes one look at Curt, stepping inside and closing the door before she’s wrapping him into a hug.

“John…sweetheart, you’re home. It’s me, it’s Gale. I need you to wake up.” The blond says in his calmest voice, stepping in and seeing the mess next to the bed. Treading carefully before he’s kneeling by the bigger boy, brushing his hand over his head. Getting a broken, hoarse sob to come from John’s mouth.

Tears from his eyes having mixed with the blood from the few knicks in his cheeks. Gale’s heart breaking slightly as he looks down at him, hearing footsteps stop outside of the room. John openly bawling into the wooden floor boards, his arms curled under his body as if he’s protecting himself. If he could curl into a ball he would, Curt having finally gotten his legs untangled from the sheets.

“Can you get a broom and dustpan? I’m going to need help getting him up into the bed, I just want him to come back a little more.” The blond says, turning his head to see Marge and Curt standing side by side. Curt’s face dry now, a hug having been had between the pair of them.

Marge nodding softly and going to find the broom, while Curt goes to grab the first aid kit they have. Along with some of John’s meds, knowing he is no doubt going to be hurting. Gale continues murmuring to John, keeping his touch light. Before Curt and Gale are lifting him, Curt’s arms hooking under his armpits, while Gale gets him under the legs. Marge standing by worriedly, ready to help if they need it, pulling and adjusting the blankets and sheets.

“Hi sweetheart.” Gale murmurs when he sees John’s eyes opening slowly, brushing his hair back off of his forehead gently. The broken bulb having been swept away, a new one popped into the lamp. Gale gently cleaning the few cuts on John’s cheeks, the tv in the room playing soft music on YouTube. John blinks a few times, trying to clear his vision to look at his boyfriend better. A soft whimper escaping his mouth; before he’s closing his eyes at the onslaught of tears.

“I know; you’re safe, nothing can happen here. I’ve got you.” The blond promises as he kisses John’s forehead softly, continuing to gently clean the spots. Swiping neosporin across them, before he’s grabbing John’s water and medicine cup. Curt peeking into the room, the blond nodding softly at him. John swallowing his medicine down before he’s opening his eyes up to see Curt.

“Is it alright if I lay in here tonight?” Curt whispers, watching as John nods his head. The three of them laying in the large bed together, Marge having gone home once she knew John was in bed. Gale apologizing but thanking her once again, while she made him promise to text her in the morning. Curt’s body curls around John’s slightly, tucking close just to feel his best friend breathing. Gale laying in a way that John can press against his side, the three of them quiet. John already half asleep, exhausted from everything. While Curt lays there wide eyed, staring straight ahead at the wall.

“He’ll be okay…it just takes time. But he’ll be okay.” Curt says quietly almost like he’s talking to himself, the lights now out, the screen from John’s tv illuminating the space. A nature scene with calming piano music playing, something that always helped Gale calm down. He didn’t think John would want to wake up to a silent room, he never did when he had nightmares.

“Yea, he’ll be okay. He’s got a good support system. I mean, he’s got us.” Gale responds softly, looking at Curt to see him nodding in agreement. His nose tucked into the nape of John’s curls, arm around the taller boy’s waist to keep him close. Gale realizing this is just as much for Curt as it is for John right now. Curt needing to know his best friend is breathing and still alive. Gale lays there with them, quiet as he watches them both sleep now. Letting himself relax with a hand on the back of Curt’s head, all three of them falling asleep piled in John’s bed.

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“You’re comfortable?” Gale asks as he looks at John, both of them in John’s large bed. The mattress holding just enough squish for the taller boy’s broken body to not be as sore. His multitude of pillows stacked on the ground, one of his soft wedge pillows next to him. The red cover on it velvety feeling, he had ordered it on Amazon. Specifically labeled as an ‘assistive device for sexual intercourse’. Smiling a little as he looks at the blond, seeing the way he’s staring back at him. Cornflower blue eyes intense, but tinged with need, both of them were needy.

They had the apartment to themselves, Curt was gone at Ken’s for the entire weekend. They had been talking about this for awhile now, but between John’s schedule and Gale’s, they couldn’t nail down a time. Not for something like this, not for Gale to actually be inside of John. The blond wanted to take his time, wanted John to feel good the entire time. It was going to take maneuvering, pillows, patience, and time.

“I’m comfortable Gale…will you let me suck your cock now? Been thinking about it for ages, you have such a pretty cock. It’s truly a shame it’s not in my mouth every single day.” Bucky states making the younger boy let out a squawk at that, shaking his head a bit and laughing softly. One of his large hands coming up to rest on John’s chest, before he’s looking back down at the other boy. Seeing the dopey little smile forming on his face, before Gale is nodding a bit.

“How far are we going tonight? I’d really like to make you feel good too…maybe get my fingers in you? I’ve been doing some researching and stuff.” Buck trails off slightly as he feels John’s giant hand coming down to squeeze his bare thigh. Both of them were stripped down to their boxers, and Gale could feel how hard he was. Tip leaking against his skin where it was trapped against his hip, no doubt soaking through his underwear. Feeling John’s large thumb brushing across his inner thigh has him shivering, goosebumps forming.

“I’ve never, I’ve never bottomed before. But I want to try with you, just don’t know how much I’ll be able to move for you. Or we could get out the vibrator again, that was fun last time.” Bucky says as he lays there, he wasn’t usually nervous or awkward when it came to sex. He never had to be, he was always confident in what he wanted. He was confident in how to make someone else feel good, but this was different. Him and Gale had done quite a few things, the most memorable being watching Gale ride a dildo.

That one still got him hot under the collar, holding the toy for his boyfriend to ride while also being sucked off. Watching the blond move his hips was tantalizing, hypnotizing almost. The moans that he was letting out around John’s cock were enough to convince the older that bottoming was worth it. The entire experience was definitely in his top five sexual experiences ever to date.

“Was reading that prostate stimulation can help with erectile dysfunction, since it wasn’t your prostate that was affected or injured. Might help you get hard, and if it doesn’t…then you can just enjoy the sensation. But if you don’t feel comfortable with that then we don’t have to do that.” The black haired boy looks up at his boyfriend, John smiling lopsidedly at him before he’s tugging him down for a kiss. He can taste the mint chapstick that Gale uses, pressing his tongue into the other’s mouth briefly. Squeezing at the blond’s thigh again, feeling the wiry hair resting there. Hearing the moan that comes up from Buck’s throat, his hand slowly moves over to cup the other boy through his briefs.

“I still want your cock in my mouth, so if we can make that work then I’m down for anything.” Bucky states once their mouths have separated, Gale letting out a soft breathless laugh. Shaking his head just a little before he’s shifting off of the bed to go to his overnight bag. His cheeks blushing a crimson color as he goes to the bottom of it, pulling out his small travel bag. John’s eyes tracking his movements, shifting in the bed just slightly. Using his arms to slide himself to the middle of the bed better, watching as Gale turns back around.

“Traveling with sex toys now baby?” Bucky taunts watching as Gale’s cheeks burn a deeper shade of red. The blond climbing up onto the bed and crawling his way over, briefs almost tenting from how hard he is. While he climbs over John’s thighs and situates himself down comfortably. Holding up his hands to show off his treasures, the older boy looking down. A bottle of lube, a silicone sleeve, and a small wand vibrator all sitting there.

“What’s the uh, what’s the sleeve for?” He asks nodding at it, feeling his insides curling with a mixture of arousal and nervousness. Gale had more experience with toys than he did, the blond seeming to have a toy for just about anything they could think of. John had dabbled with vibrators before, but mainly on female partners. He hadn’t really used one on himself until he had gotten into bed with Gale that is.

“This, goes in this, and then slides up and sits around you. Figured it might feel nice, I know I like it when I’m bottoming sometimes. I also…wanted to get a mirror so you could watch. That one over there…thought we could pull it over.” John’s eyes trail over to the full length mirror resting against his closet door. Jaw dropping a bit to bring his pupils back over to Gale, seeing the flush on his cheeks. The aroused excitement unable to be contained in his blown eyes, his cock aching in his briefs. John’s large hands coming up to squeeze Gale’s hips, thumbs digging into his hipbones slightly.

“Do you think about it a lot? Fucking me?” John questions, feeling the full body shiver course up Gale’s spine. His head tipping back, showing off the long line of his throat. Hips rocking forward like he can’t help it, pushing himself against John’s lower chest slightly. Bucky can feel himself twitch just a little in his briefs, his hand coming down to grip around Gale’s cock through his underwear.

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about it. I love watching your face when you cum…fuck John. I love making you feel good, want you to see how fucking good you look too. Wanna watch your face when I’m inside of you.” The blond rambles as he grinds against John’s palm, moaning as the older rubs his tip through the fabric. Bucky letting out a low groan as he looks up at the blond boy, arousal pooling lowly in his pelvis. Before he’s pushing Gale’s briefs down, tucking them under his pretty pink balls. Giving them a little squeeze, looking down to watch the way precum beads at the blond’s tip.

“Do you wanna fuck my face first? Take the edge off? Look like you’re gonna blow everywhere baby.” John says in a little breathless tease, moving his fist on the younger boy. Squeezing when he gets to the tip, Gale moaning lowly at the offer. Hips chasing the feel of Bucky’s closed fist, hands gripping John’s freckled shoulders tightly. Toys completely forgotten next to them, John groaning softly as he watches the younger boy.

“Take what you need baby…that’s it, fuck look at you. You’re desperate for it aren’t you? Love watching you make a mess of yourself…love tasting you.” John rambles as he squeezes around Gale tighter, bringing his other hand down to grope and tug at Gale’s balls. The blond sobbing quietly at the sensations, hips pushing quicker now. Precum dripping down from him onto John’s briefs, his hips stuttering slightly in their rocks. Blunt nails digging into Bucky’s bare shoulder, before he’s tensing and beginning to spurt across John’s stomach.

“Oh fuck, fuck John, oh god.” He whimpers out, toes curling behind himself so hard he almost pulls a muscle. Shuddering through his release, knocking the bigger man back into the pillows. Just to press close and kiss him, panting still but needing to feel the other’s mouth against his own. Gale pulling away after a minute, resting his sweaty forehead on John’s. Breathing deeply and looking down at him with a sheepish smile on his face.

“So…fucking me really gets you going yea?”

John asks with a little smile, looking up at the blond, seeing the way he blushes a deeper shade of red. His body shifting a bit so he can shove his face into John’s throat. Stomachs and pelvises pressing together, smearing Gale’s cum across both of their skin. The dark smattering of hair under Bucky’s belly button becoming sticky with it.

“Is now a bad time for me to tell you that I’ve never topped anyone before? It’s not gonna ruin the mood is it?” Gale asks once he’s pulled away from John’s collar bone, a dark hickey sitting there now. The older boy gently tilts Gale’s face up, before he’s leaning in and kissing him. Large palm cupping his cheek, brushing his thumb across the constellation of freckles the boy has under his eye.

“No, it doesn’t ruin the mood, it takes some pressure off honestly. We get to share a first together…and that’s, it’s kinda special yea?” John murmurs almost shyly as he looks at his boyfriend, smiling a bit as he sees Gale smiling. The blond feeling fondness welling in his chest at the absolute hopeless romantic his boy is. Both of them leaning in for another kiss, slower this time, with deeper meaning. Before Gale is pulling away, grabbing the wedge pillow and holding it up.

“Can I lay on my stomach? Or will that make it harder for you?” John asks as he looks at the younger boy, lifting his upper body up, watching as the blond holds the wedge pillow. The blond boy gets off of the bed for a second, pulling the mirror over so that they can both turn their heads to look. Stepping back over when he’s pleased with where it’s sitting, picking up the red pillow again.

“I don’t think it’ll make it harder, might make it easier actually. But is it going to hurt you? Wanna try it and make sure it won’t put pressure on your back?” Bucky nods his head, before he’s shifting around, Gale holding the pillow so it sits at John’s lower stomach. The taller shimmying his body, with the blond helping adjust his legs comfortably. The velvet on the pillow rubbing below John’s belly button, his butt and hips propped up. He adjusts his upper body slightly with his arms, while Gale tries not to hover.

“Can you…can you help me move my legs how you need them?” John questions, chewing on his lower lip, suddenly worried he looks absolutely ridiculous. Flicking his eyes back when he doesn’t get a response from his boyfriend, seeing the way Gale’s eyes are sweeping over his body. His cock already half hard again against his hip, before he’s snapping out of his revere.

“I’m gonna touch you now, let me know if it’s uncomfortable.” The blond says before he’s helping move the older’s legs, getting them into a sort of frog position. Reaching up to carefully adjust John’s length, not wanting it to get squished between the cushion and his body weight. Gale leans down and kisses the small of Bucky’s back, hands rubbing and squeezing up his thick thighs. Feeling the curly hair sitting there, dragging his thumbs over muscle and skin. Goosebumps rising on John’s skin, a shiver going up his spine, while he feels his arousal reignite. Resting his upper body on one of his personal pillows, taking the pressure off of his thoracic spine.

“You look so pretty spread out like this for me…so fucking pretty John.” Gale murmurs as he nips at his butt, before he’s sitting up on his knees between John’s legs. His eyes dragging over his back, following the lines of his surgical scars. Pressed into the trench of his spine, freckles, a few moles, and stretch marks covering his skin as well. The blond’s nimble fingers dragging up his sides, squeezing softly when he meets the bottom of his ribcage.

“Fuck baby…feels good.” John sighs as he shifts into the touch, eyes closed as he relaxes even more. Becoming a puddle on the bed, feeling his cock give a little twitch, he liked when Gale gave him massages. The blond always knew where to touch, how hard to push down, he seemed to know John’s body better than he knew it himself. His eyes open when he feels Gale’s lips moving down his spine again, his hands sliding down to grip John’s butt cheeks. Squeezing gently and rubbing his thumbs in, spreading him softly as the blond keeps moving down.

“Jesus Christ.” John whispers as he feels Gale lick across his hole, the muscle fluttering slightly. Turning his head a bit to look at Gale’s body as much as he can in this position. Before he’s turning his head the other way, watching the mirror. Eyes trained on the curve of Gale’s body, his hands keeping John’s cheeks separated. Large hands wrapped around his skin, before Gale is lifting his head up. Humming softly against John’s cheek, nipping at it and turning his head.

He watches as Gale looks up his back before he flattens his tongue, swiping it across his hole again. Before the blond is pressing closer to push his tongue inside of John, the little gasp coming from the older making him smile. Humming against John again as he pushes his tongue in an even motion, letting some spit slip down. Dripping in an even line to Bucky’s balls, one of Gale’s thumbs coming to rub it in. Dragging the spit back up and sliding the pad of his thumb across the older’s entrance again, watching it clench.

“Talk to me?” Gale murmurs as he reaches for the lube, pulling the bottle down while he sits up on his knees. Looking at John again in the mirror, meeting his gaze and smiling a little bit. The older’s cheeks are a dark pink color, eyes wide with a mixture of arousal and shock. Jaw dropped open, with his plush bottom lip spit slick. He watches as John blinks slightly, focusing his eyes to meet Gale’s gaze, breathing deeply before letting loose a whimper.

“Didn’t think I’d like something like that…but fuck it felt good. You always say it does feel good, but I thought you were just bullshitting me, trying to make me feel good. Jesus Gale.” John breathes out the ending as he feels one of Gale’s nimble lube slick fingers circling his hole. Watching the motion in the mirror as much as he can, the blond smiling a bit. The younger leans down and presses a kiss to John’s freckled shoulders. Pressing his middle finger forward, both of them groaning as he sinks inside of the older boy. John’s half hard cock giving a twitch against the pillow, a lazy bead of precum oozing at the tip.

“You’re so tight sweetheart…gonna feel so good wrapped around me.” Gale states before he’s leaning up to kiss the other boy, sucking at his lower lip and moving his finger in an even motion. John’s walls squeezing and tensing every now and then, trying to get used to the sensation. He wasn’t sure what it was supposed to feel like, he didn’t have anything to compare it to from before the accident. A gasp getting lodged in his throat when the tip of Gale’s finger drags across a sensitive bulge on the inside.

“Found it.” The blond murmurs from where he’s been pressing kisses into John’s shoulders, his cock rubbing against the other’s butt cheek in even little pulses. Precum smearing across John’s pale skin, leaving sticky streaks in its wake. John moans again when he feels the touch to his prostate, a protesting sound coming out of his mouth when he feels Gale pull his finger free. Before there’s two pressing into him, the pressure from the stretch making his nose scrunch. A whining noise leaving him when Gale rubs over his sweet spot again, eyes squeezed shut at the sensation.

“Oh fuck Gale…fuck that feels so good. Don’t stop, please please for the love of Christ don’t stop.” John whimpers as the ball in his pelvis gets tighter, his fingers gripping the pillow under his upper body harder. Muscles bunching together slightly, moaning again as Gale drives his fingers in. The blond smiling softly as he keeps going, even as his cock leaks in steady drips. The sounds John is making has his head spinning, knowing he’s making his boy feel good. It’s a head rush that he wasn’t expecting, feeling the way John’s walls are squeezing tighter.

“I’m, Gale, I’m gonna…oh fuck, fuck, fuck.” John squeaks out suddenly, Gale sitting up slightly to watch. The older’s hole clamping down around his fingers, his cock giving a twitch before he’s dribbling cum down the pillow. A sobbing sound coming from John’s throat, tears welling in his eyes as he lays there. Gale’s fingers stilling inside of him, pulsing gently against his prostate. Dragging out the older’s orgasm for him, before he’s easing off and slipping his fingers out.

“Fuck John…that was, holy fuck.” Gale groans as he wraps a hand around himself, squeezing at the base tightly. Looking up to meet John’s half lidded gaze, a few tears having tracked down his cheeks. John was a crier when he orgasmed, Gale had figured that out quickly, the pleasure was so intense for him that he cried. And as much as Gale wanted to hate it, it definitely made something in his blood sing. John reaches back with a lead heavy arm, trying to grab onto Gale’s hand.

“C’mon…want you inside of me. Please, can see you’re hurting.” Gale leans up slightly to look down at him better, letting out a grunt when John gets his hand wrapped around his cock. Hips jerking forward on instinct with the pleasure, eyes squeezing shut to collect his bearings.

“I don’t want it to be too much for you, you just came. I can use my hand or.”

“Gale Winston…get your cock inside of me. I want you to use that wand thing, I want it all.” John interrupts as he tries to look back at the younger boy, finally getting Gale’s cock slotted between his cheeks. The blond’s hips moving just a little, holding himself up with a hand digging into the pillow John’s upper body is laying on. His knees tucked close to the wedge pillow as he moans lowly, his other hand going down to grab at John’s hip.

“Yea…yea honey, I’ll give you anything you want.” Gale mutters out nodding quickly, having to shift and pull away from him. Cock aching between his legs, dribbling another string of precum. Connecting the tip of his cock to John’s ass for a minute before it breaks. Reaching for the lube again and the vibrating wand, the cock sleeve attached to it already. Squeezing just a bit on his fingers he wraps his hand around John’s soft cock, listening to him hiss softly. Flicking his eyes up to look at him, he sees that John is looking back at the mirror.

“Wish I could see it better…but this is still good. I get to see you.” John murmurs, eyes trained on the way Gale’s body is moving. Pupils tracing over the lines and curves, drawn in on Gale’s butt and thighs. Before he’s moaning at the feeling of the sleeve sliding into place, the blond making sure it’s sitting properly. He meets John’s eyes in the mirror, flicking the little dial on the toy and listening to the moan he lets out. Gale tucks the wand’s handle under John’s thigh, making sure it won’t move at all. While John’s fingers are gripping the pillow tighter under his head as he feels the vibrations into his balls, eyes fluttering shut.

“Do you want me to use a condom? I brought some, just in case.” Gale offers as he sits up on his knees more, squeezing around himself again and moaning lowly. Watching the way John’s eyes flutter open to stare at Gale through the mirror. Shaking his head a bit at the question, swallowing thickly while he lays there. Moaning lowly at the sensation curling up his stomach from the vibrator.

“No, I want to feel you…if you’re alright with that.” Gale leans up to plant a kiss to his cheek, reaching for the lube to coat himself with it. Before he’s shifting his hips enough to lodge his tip against John’s hole, both of them holding their breaths. Gale’s hips push forward slowly, sinking into John in a paced glide. His jaw dropping open at the tight, hot squeeze, while John watches his expression. The pressure making his heart stutter, but Gale’s facial expressions causing pleasure to zing down his pelvis.

“Oh fuck John, you’re so tight.” Gale whimpers out once he’s halfway, worried momentarily that he’s going to blow. Letting out a little wounded sound as John clenches on him involuntarily, his hand going to grip the older’s hip. Balancing himself to look down and watch, thumbing around where John is spread around him. The black haired boy moaning quietly as he watches the muscles flex in the side view of Gale’s body. His glutes shifting, thigh muscle bunching, bicep bulging out a little.

“You look so good Gale…Jesus Christ.” John murmurs, watching the way Gale’s head tips back once he’s bottomed out. One hand desperately grasping at John’s ass cheek, the other gripping the edge of the wedge pillow. His eyes following the movement as Gale moves inside of him, feeling the drag. The vibrations around his cock causing pleasure to roll over his system, a slow rise. Before his upper body is almost shooting off the bed when Gale nails his prostate head on.

“Oh fucking Christ Gale! Jesus fuck!” John sobs out at the intense pleasure zinging through him, Gale huffing a soft breathless laugh. Angling his hips properly now to slam into it, holding on by a thread. Blunt nails digging into John’s waist, groaning long in his throat at the tight heat. Turning his head to meet John’s gaze in the mirror, watching as his eyes flutter for a minute. His jaw dropped down, little puddle of drool slipping from his mouth onto the pillow under his head. White knuckling the fabric as he lets out consistent grunts with each press to his sweet spot.

“I’m gonna cum sweetheart…oh fuck, it feels so good. Are you gonna cum with me?” Gale pants out as he snaps his hips quicker, chasing the pleasure coiling around his groin. The sound of his pelvic bone smacking into John’s ass loud between them both. The wet squelch of the lube making them both whine, one of Gale’s hands coming up to grab at John’s bicep. Finger tips digging in tightly, before he’s slamming home again and reaching his orgasm. A high pitched whine leaving his throat, body shuddering through his high.

“Oh fuck…fuck Gale, it’s oh fuck.” John wheezes as the blond’s blunt tip snugs up against his prostate. The twitches from Gale’s cock pulsing against his insides, making him bury his face in the pillow. The pleasure red hot, almost too much before he’s cumming again. Dribbling down the pillow case under him, sobbing openly into the fabric under his face.

Tears rolling down his cheeks as he spasms under Gale’s body weight. The blond presses shaky kisses to John’s damp with sweat shoulders, both of them panting softly. Gale carefully pulls his hips back, reaching down to turn the wand off. Before he’s collapsing next to John, the boy turning his face to look at Gale again.

“Holy fucking shit Gale.” The younger laughs softly and looks at his boyfriend, admiring the pink flush to his cheeks. Making his freckles more prominent as he lays there, curls floppy on his forehead. Blinking his eyes few times, contacts that he was still getting used to having gone a little dry. Gale shifts his body over to press his mouth against Bucky’s, nuzzling close for a second. Before he’s dropping back onto the bed, needing just a minute before he cleans them both up.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Gale…you and your magic dick.” The blond snorts quietly, shaking his head while he lays there. The little post orgasmic quivers settling in his limp limbs. Breathing coming back down to a controlled level, his eyes watching John now. His chest rising and falling evenly, the little shakes that were racking his system slowing down. A dopey little smile forming on his plush lips, cracking his eyes open to look at Gale again. Their hands intertwining as they lay there, enjoying their little blissful moment together.

————————

“Pizza is here!” Curt calls as he and Ken come into the apartment, smiling when he hears John and Gale talking in the kitchen. They were all having a movie night together, the newest action movie having dropped. John had been begging to see it, but the thought of going to the theater was too much. So a pizza, movie, and soda night was to be had, in the safety of their own home.

“We’ve got the sodas!” John yells back, wheeling into the living room with two two-liters in his lap. Gale walking behind him with plates and cups, both of them dressed down. Curt eyeing them up, a smirk forming on his lips when he sees the hickey peeking out of Gale’s shirt collar. Their hair is mussed, and John’s cheeks are still tinted a light shade of pink.

“Ya fuckin dirty birds, did ya at least both cum?” Curt taunts making Gale squawk, Ken squeaking a bit at his boyfriend’s nonchalance. He never understood how easily Curt could just talk about sex, it was never taboo for him. John chokes on his spit, laughing softly and shaking his head. Pushing his glasses up his nose before he’s glaring playfully at his best friend.

“We did, on your bed, it was super comfortable.” Curt makes a loud sound before he’s going to pull John under his arm, rubbing his knuckles into the taller boy’s hair. Messing up his hair even more while John tries to push him away. Gale trying to remind them to not pull John from his chair while Ken just tries to stay out of the way. The curly headed blond boy turning his head at the knock to the apartment door.

“I’ll get it…ya goddamn hooligans.” He teases while smiling at the pair, stepping around the couch. Heading for the door, undoing the deadbolt, and turning the knob to pull it open. The smile slipping from his face when he sees an unknown man standing on the other side. Two large Manila envelopes in his hands, one labeled ‘Curtis Johnathan Biddick’ and the other ‘John Clarance Egan’.

“Are Curtis Biddick and John Egan here?” The man asks, getting said boy’s to turn their heads, smiles falling from their faces. Curt heading for the door to his boyfriend, while John watches them both. Gale stepping closer to rest his hand between John’s heaving shoulders. Curling his fingers into the older’s shirt, a knot forming in his lower stomach.

“Yea…that’s us. Who are you?”

“You’ve been served, thank you.” The man states handing over the envelopes, turning on his heel to head down the steps leading up to their apartment. Curt watching him go before he’s shutting the door and turning to face the others. All of them silent as they stare wide eyed at the envelopes in Curt’s hands.

[chiaraforfun]

I think they both make fair points actually, because what @elenasalvatore1 is referred to what happened once they where together, and @jilyydoe to both before and during.

I've always been a big fan of Hinny, and I find this extremely true analysis a bit unsettling, lmao. However, I would like to clarify 3 points that are very subjective.

The first is that yes, Harry and Ginny probably wouldn’t have stayed together forever instead of what Rowling later decided, because they were likely together for insufficient reasons. At the same time, I don’t see Harry with Hermione as a good match (I could easily write a fanfic about it because it would work well as a romance, just to be clear). I don’t know if it’s because they literally grew up together, and I can’t fully support those couples who date young and end up marrying, but I never saw them as "in love".

They had a beautiful friendship, that's it.

However, it's also true that I love Romione, which goes against that last thought, BUT there has always been that... I don’t know... distance? The friendship that Hermione and Harry shared is not the same as that between Hermione and Ron. You could almost feel that tension from the start. So, I guess it makes less sense to me.

Point two: Ginny in the books is very different from the films, where they made her too flat, and while it may be true that the premises of their relationship were somewhat toxic (okay, maybe a bit more than somewhat), them being together makes sense. I reiterate, not forever, because I believe they would inevitably break up sooner or later, but in the books, it makes sense, and she is fantastic. I mean, she is mean to Fleur behind her back, but so is the rest of them beside a few if I remember properly. It's not an excuse but I think I remember Ginny and Hermione both making fun with Mrs Weasley.

She makes fun of Ron but let's be realistic, I did the same with my brother and he did the same with me. I'm not proud and growing up we changed but let's not forget she's still young!

All the dynamics makes sense if you think of her age.

We are so used to see the golden trio as "older" because of what they fight but in truth they are not.

So I guess I do give her a bit of an excuse for her behaviour. Also because she was funny, I'm sorry.

And then, as @jilyydoe pointed out, Harry's last thought before dying was about her so—why not!

Point three: for once, we’re not reading about the extremely predictable relationship between the protagonist and another main character. I mean, come on, let’s break away a bit. I love f/m friendship!

True friends, not romanticised.

Point 4 (that I forgot about): I really don't think that Ginny loves because of his popularity.

Surely that’s the reason she had a crush on him in the first year, but I don’t think that’s the reason she fell in love with him. I believe the story of the younger sister falling in love with her older brother's friend is an old classic, but there’s a deeper reason behind it. And it's the same thing here, among many reasons, right? I mean, Harry was constantly with Ron, he spent a lot of time with the rest of the brothers, and it often happened that he was at the Weasley house. In my opinion, she started to fall in love with him precisely by spending time together, gradually more and more, especially since at the beginning she was a bit pushed aside by her brother, lol. Then, indeed, she tried to have her own experiences and well, we all know how it went from there, toxic dynamics included.

But, I don’t think she fell in love with him for popularity. That, I would say, was just the spark that ignited everything else

I get all your other points and yess it's ruined a bit my idea, I won't idolise their relationship anymore (😭 ), and I get it, it's not that perfect, but maybe that's why I like Hinny so much; it’s unpredictable. It’s a couple that means nothing from a distance, but for them, it’s everything.

I don’t know, it makes sense to me, and I apologize for not being able to explain myself better. English is not my native language, and unfortunately, I don’t know how else to convey these concepts.

P.S.: The thing that makes me cringe a little about Hinny, I have to admit, is that it gives me a bit of a “mommy issues” vibe because of the hair, lmao.

Ya'll really gonna come in here and tell me you love Harry Potter but you hate Hinny.

You're going to tell me to my face that you love Harry James Potter, a man who has been through so much. Lost his whole entire family., and you're going to deny him his greatest source of comfort.

Are you actually going to tell me that you think ferret face or someone who Harry has described as a sister to him is a better fit for him than someone who makes him happier than he can ever remember being.

He was willing to die happily just thinking about her kissing him. Literally his last dying thought but you're gonna come here and tell me that you hate true love.

Please.

[hafwen]

Timmy went back to eating completely normal without any bribes the moment my mom came home.

[vigilskeep]

i just wanted a simple name for him and i was like halfway through the origin before i realised that rory and rica’s names are way too cutesy similar. too late now

[bolshevik-rpf]

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