#he knows how wrong the dragon of the west can be

[caesarootham]

I like how Lu Ten is so supportive of his cousin. While Iroh is lowkey skeptical of what the hell is happening.

So far this is reading like one of those timetravel ones where they speedrun the plot and end up having to deal with the consequences of not having the character development of the side-characters happen in the same way. There's going to be a lot of earth kingdom and water tribe politics to get people into some semblance of good behaviour.

Oddly enough, I think the fire nation might be the best off, Zuko has some idea of what he's doing (depending on the time travel departure point), the backing of Agni, and I think the Lu Ten and Azula eventually form some sort of unholy alliance to set fire to all his adversaries. Iroh and even Ursa might cause some problems, but Lu Ten and Azula are also on that.

ORBSJB AGNI AS A TURTLE DUCK I'm sorry but LIKE HOW CUTE AND then it's like he's this turtleduck in the pond bc depending on how people treat animals, small ones that need help, that's how he knows if they're good and he blesses the ones that treat him kindly and then Zuko and I'm sorry of this sint coherent (I'm a long time fan of your content btw, all the his and the books and omg I wish I could've gotten some)

Azulon looked down. His grandson, along with the turtleduck in his arms, looked up.

“This is Agni,” the boy said. “He says you should stop now.”

QUACK, said the duck. It was a strange red-gold. It was glowing. It was staring at him, even through the flames of the throne.

“Stop what?” humored the Fire Lord.

“The war,” the boy said. “It’s killing too many firebenders. Also his sister has been yelling at him, so we should let the waterbenders go, too, and be nice to them from now on so he can get a good night’s sleep and not have her redirecting comets at him any more. Probably we should leave all the other benders alone too because he’s pretty sure it was the air spirits that made him a flightless duck. He says that’s their sense of humor.”

QUACK, said the turtleduck.

“…Guards,” said Azulon.

This proved to be an ill-advised action.

ALTERNATE TAKE THAT WENT NOWHERE AND ISN'T EDITED HAVE FUN WITH THAT:

There is a Fire Nation child in Hakoda's village. The child has a softly glowing turtleduck in his arms and a quietly oozing wound under his bandage. This is not how Hakoda thought his morning would go.

"What's with the turtleduck?" asks Hakoda's son, who is wrapped around Hakoda's arm and his spear in a way that makes it very hard to instinctively stab at red-clothed things. Hakoda... expected more of them. But the tiny sail boat the kid just ran into Sokka's lumpy watchtower seems to be empty, now that its single feverish passenger has stumbled over. With his duck.

"It's a turtleduck-phoenix," says the Fire Lord's heir, answering exactly none of Hakoda's actual questions. "...You remember?"

"That your hair is going to get worse before it gets better?" says Sokka. "Absolutely."

The Prince scowls. "Then where's Aang?"

"Katara's been looking for him. He's still in the iceberg."

"...The Ember Island Players' iceberg?"

"The Ember Island Players' extremely accurate and well-researched iceberg."

The Fire Prince stares at Hakoda's son. The Fire Prince stares at Hakoda. The Fire Prince flips his duck around to face himself, then starts shaking it. "Give me a less stupid reality."

QUACK, protests the duck, with a burst of accompanying immolation that does nothing to dissuade the prince.

"Sorry, buddy," soothes his son, "you were always in the stupid reality. Remember the frozen frogs?"

Quack, says the duck, as if in confirmation.

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH38

Rip to these promising mages. I assume they will not survive this massacre.

IS that where her lungs and kidneys are? Because like. She's huge. Her entire body is behind her. Do you really think she'd keep her vital organs in the little human bulb on the front?

I mean, he has a point. What are you going to do? Fight off more hoardes of dragons?

oh noooo, Kabru.... too bad. That's so unfortunate.... anyway.

It's curious that Laios only got knocked away. He was just as likely to have had his head squished like a grape.

Guys, this is absolutely not the time to be concerned for her privacy.

Yes, queen. Free the tiddy. Murder everyone in this dungeon. I support women's rights and women's wrongs.

.......that's. One way to do that. I guess.

.......what's that rock about.

Oh, I see. That's convenient.

This guy dungeons! Maybe he even dragons.

So we got north (tallmen? dwarves?) and then the easterners.... and now the elves of the west?

He's going to give her to the Americans?! ಠ_ಠ

To be fair, at least they HAD a plan. And they executed it. It's more than you did. I don't mean to point fingers but... at least they... ya know... did something.

Kabru's like 'no, no, hang on, I need to hear what batshit fucked up thing this dude is going to say next, this is important'

Laios is so stressed he broke character.

Then again, maybe it's healthy to let them slug it out a bit. Get it out of their system.

It's true. They wore fitbits and everything.

...hey, hold on a second.

Now hold on a minute.

Damn, this is. Kind of even worse because. I guess I could have guessed that Toshi was just pretending to be polite, like you do. Cultural differences.

But the painful thing is, Laios doesn't seem surprised. He just seems resigned. He's been told before that he's difficult to get along with. To the extent that he doesn't even consider Marcille and Chillchuck his friends? Even though they arguably both care about him? But because Toshiro didn't bother to be deadpan about him being a bit odd at times, Laios thought it meant that was fine.

And that kinda hurts. Like damn. Laios just wanted to make a true connection. And I can't really blame Toshiro either, he was just trying to keep the peace but. Damn.

Free her! Let her do her illegal magics! She deserves it! （︶^︶）

Thoughts:

Senshi just being annoyed about that one last harpy looking for scraps.... like "shoo, this ain't the time"

That gnome seems genuinely nice. I'm sorry Falin squished his pet undyne.

Kabru hugging his..... mage? Girlfriend???? Seems very...one sided. Kinda feel bad for her.

Laios and Toshiro still going at it, I see. Get it allout, boys.

Uhhhhhhhhhh ninja girls.

Aww, doggo.

Last question: Where did the cat go?

Senshi: I can fix that.

Are you all worried because he's finally making sense?!?!

Laios and he punched their singular braincells into several new ones, it seems.

F./....Falin... please give the caterpillar some privacy........

My man, maybe lead with that............

I can't believe Marcille was potentially more forward about her feelings.......

"his pupils are dilated" yes, thank you sherlock. You've finally realized what everyone else who meets Laios feels almost immediately. he's a monster freak club card carrying member. Welcome.

p.....pubby......

As long as he was also inside the dungeon with them.... yes.

The issue with Kabru isn't that he isn't trying his best. It's that Laios isn't trying at all.

On a scale of one to Kabru, how badly do you react to being offered a food you don't want to eat?

......oh no. He's so pathetic it's funny. He's growing on me.

Absolute morons, the pair of them. Immovable object meets unstoppable force. The funniest combination ever. Ghost type and normal type pokemon, forever throwing moves at each other that will never hit. Laios thinking he's made a friend. Kabru just barely stopping himself from killing Laios. Best comedy pair. Tom and Jerry in a can.

Anyway. What a great manga.

[allwormdiet]

Interlude 6

Justice for Paige McAbee

This is. Fucking evil. Chaining a woman up like an animal and parading her around the courtroom. Like what the shit.

Utterly fucking barbaric

Brief detour I guess to provide exposition on the existence of rogues

Going from heartbreak to outrage this quickly in succession was some fucking whiplash when I first read this arc, fucking tell you what

Actual torture.

The inhumanity of this entire arrangement is borderline sickening to see play out. What an utter failure of the system

Oh hey you two

I can see how people would get. Touchy. About a power like that. But touchy enough for a life sentence is fucked.

Also, credit where it's due, Bakuda's ingenuity in this situation is still pretty well on display

Bakuda is playing with fucking fire here, and not just pyrokinesis, har har

Okay you know what, callousness and cruelty aside, this is a fucking badass display from Bakuda.

Okay so what the fuck is up with the ABB capes, actually. Bakuda built a bomb that would've devastated, like, the entire Eastern Seaboard, and probably even further beyond that into the west and north. I'd say that she was slumming it as part of a gang that's only got a minor presence in one city and a few neighboring areas, but honestly Lung feels just as cracked.

Dude basically only fights harder over time, he would've taken down everyone in that warehouse if Skitter didn't make a Hail Mary play with Newter's hallucinogen. Kaiser, Sundancer, Bitch, Newter, and one or both of the twins would've been fucking smoked, maybe Labyrinth if Coil's guys didn't bother to pull her out. This dude could've been putting up massive numbers throughout his entire reign as the head of the ABB.

So what the fuck was he doing instead? If he's a gang boss with this kind of power at his fingertips, where's the fucking appetite that should come with it? Skitter didn't even think he was an A-lister before they fought and he proved her wrong, she thought he was like, a step above Uber and Leet? In what world does that misconception become publicly accepted?

I'd say this is gonna bug me, but uhh, Lung's going to the fucking oubliette to end all oubliettes so it's a bit of a moot point, isn't it

Like, okay. Fucked up, sure thing. But this is still such a massive injustice; it was a one-time thing and she couldn't have possibly known if this was the first time it ever happened. You could've demanded training for her power, if nothing else, but you throw her into Hell on Earth. Fuck me.

This is a level of determination that I think has so far gone unmatched in this story. Like, I'll give Taylor time to pull off something even more outrageously self-harming for the sake of an objective, it's her story after all and there's a lot of words left, but Bakuda really is something else.

Of course that "something else" does include being an abrasive piece of shit, but hell, she's a parahuman, I don't think I've met one of them that's without some kind of baggage.

Maybe there's a world out there where after her trigger event she comes down on the other end of the hero/villain line. Bombs aren't exactly heroic but she could build non-lethally for standard use and save the big damage for shit like Endbringers. Plus the obvious potential of having a bomb Tinker as an EOD expert, that would be game-changing.

She'd still probably be an asshole, but like. You don't have to be pleasant to be a hero, we know that one for sure.

Alas.

I was torn between wanting Paige to get out of this and wanting Lung and Bakuda to get what's coming to them.

Hi Dragon, wish you weren't the warden of the worst prison I've ever heard of in my life, see you later in the story maybe

Also. Six hundred prisoners in the Birdcage. Not counting whoever's died. That's a fucking lot of them.

Wait what the fuck happened to Newfoundland

Oh, Dragon hates this too, well there's a small fucking mercy.

Also, "the hole the men opened into the women's half of the Birdcage" is a fucking alarming phrase. We're just fucking letting anything fly down here, huh? Jesus Christ.

Dragon's description of the Birdcage's security measures is. Fucking extreme. This is a fucking nightmare, an absolute cavalcade of human rights abuses that I can't even begin to fathom.

Have children been born in the Birdcage? If not, who's preventing that? Is everyone being covertly dosed with contraceptives to keep them from having children? Do the block leaders have people on hand to deal with abortions? How do you handle dietary restrictions? Religious restrictions? What if it turns out you were wrongly convicted?

Literally everything about this place is a horror show. Every implication is dark as fucking Vantablack.

Gross

I guess this is what passes for society down here, huh

Well shit, I guess I'm glad Bakuda has some enrichment at least.

Okay, so, Marquis is a supervillain who's taken over a cell block, and he's a Brockton native invested in learning what he's missed out on

...Easy money says he's Amy Dallon's old man.

Not entirely shocked that Lung's spent time behind bars, though I assume that was before he got his powers.

And uhh. I'm gonna be real, I feel kinda bad for Bakuda here. Like she's a piece of shit, obviously, but for all her insults she seemed happy to work for Lung, enough that she made a point of freeing him from the Protectorate and putting him back in charge when she could've stayed in charge, taken advantage of his arrest and done whatever she pleased

and now he's gonna kill her. Because she insulted him. Because it'll make life in prison easier.

I mean, shit. I do not like Bakuda's odds in this exchange. It probably doesn't take a lot for Lung to have her debilitated, and from there the kill is even easier. Maybe he dies too, but I don't expect that to be the case.

Current Thoughts

Justice for Paige McAbee

The Birdcage is, I think, a very reasonable simulacrum of Hell, and its very existence probably gives in-universe philosophers, ethicists, defense attorneys, and human rights activists fucking hives.

Also, justice for Paige McAbee

I'm not going to mourn Bakuda, but maybe I'll mourn the version of her that could've been in a kinder world.

Last thing, just in case we weren't clear:

Justice for Paige McAbee

[deathbyoctopi]

Another year, another rec list with some of the best xuexiao I've read these last 12 months!! >w<

And like last year's rec list, this isn't either exhaustive or limited to fics posted in 2023. It's just the things I have found, which I liked, and want to spread the love about ^-^

Here's, in no particular order, my favourite xuexiao (and occasional songxuexiao) fics. Also, take a look down below for other mxtx or danmei pairings!

You're mine by twilightshards. This is a phenomenal oneshot where Xue Yang does not wait patiently to take revenge on Baixue temple, but rather follows the annoying daoshi out of Jinlintai as soon as he gets off the hook. He catches up with them a couple of nights later, only to find Xiao Xingchen in a... compromised position. While moaning Xue Yang's name.

The tamed by @fieri-sentio-et-excrucior. Last year I recommended the wonderful The Prisoner of Jinlintai fic, and now we got a sequel to that!!! Exciting stuff, very exciting... Xiao Xingchen saves Xue Yang from his botched execution and Song Lan is there raging at what he thinks is a psycho taking full advantage of his friend's kindness. Absolutely loved it!

蛇 - shé by shoujorei. A spectacular oviposition fic with blind snake hybrid Xiao Xingchen and enemy-posing-as-housemate Xue Yang, who really didn't know what he was volunteering for when he offered to "help" daozhang with his next heat. An absolute delight!

good lies go bad by istilfearkanna One of the Yi City what-if's I like so much, showing what would happen if Song Lan is successful in killing Xue Yang and, as per canon, vows not to tell his friend anything. So naturally you have Xiao Xingchen happy about his rekindled friendship, but also deeply worried about his missing friend... breaks my heart every time T-T (thx lionfish13 for the rec!!!)

Down in the black sea by @10holmes. A mermaid AU which has to be the sweetest Xue Yang /Xiao Xingchen tale I've seen in a while, with xxc being a revered merman saving the life of a handsome pirate... without realizing that is the infamous Xue Yang, mermaid hunter and slayer of plenty of his kinsmen!! But of course, they fall in love. It's downright adorable (and deliciously angst-inducing!) Also, the worldbuilding in this one is marvelous!

promises, promises by an anonymous author. Time travel fic!!! This one follows Song Lan trying to right the wrongs of his life in the easiest way possible: that is, to eliminate Xue Yang before he has the chance to hurt anyone else. Except... he gets distracted saving the life of a poor child with a mangled left hand. Still ongoing, and XXC isn't in the picture yet, but the new chapters are highly anticipated and the writing style is so, so, so good.

the non-con opition by the same anonymous author. How do I know? None of your business!! But the awesome writing style continues here, as well as the song lan/xue yang being brought together by fate is just as awesome. It promises to be songxuexiao eventually, for now it's a delightful soulmates/omegaverse with alpha!Song Lan in rut nonconning the hell out of a mysterious omega with a foul mouth.

Sant Xingchen i el drac by @ergbolli45 A little sweet adorable spin of a traditional legend very dear to my heart. It's winter, the Yi City crew are bored around their campfire, and A-Qing wants a story. So, Xue Yang offers to tell a tale from some exotic land on the west about a little princess, a brave knight and a fearsome dragon.

sticking their dick in crazy by Sectionladvivi. I'm not generally one for modern AUs, but this one is such a stupid and shameless pwp that it skyrocketed through my rankings XD SongXueXiao, and oddly enough, the crazy one alluded in the title isn't Xue Yang!! Delicious and filthy. No thoughts, just horn.

Priceless by @fieri-sentio-et-excrucior. Another modern AU!! but how can I resist, when this is Xue Yang breaking and entering happily married songxiao's domicile, who were getting ready for a very sexy night... and end up, Song Lan tied up and forced to watch the criminal fuck Xiao Xingchen senseless (and unaware it's not his husband the one in bed with him!). Evil and sexy, another wonderful fic by such a wonderful author <3

hands, reaching out by @neriine. A retelling of Yi City but with mutation-like special powers, making it especially interesting when it comes to xuexiao's backstory (song lan is also there, in the background) and the night hunts. It's sweet, sweet, Xue Yang as always a murder gremlin who thinks he has it all under control when the first thing that he doesn't know half-way about is his own feelings... Very well-written, and creative in its worldbuilding!

THIS lovely picture is not from a fic (well, not yet, unless I manage to do something cute with it >w<) but serves as an example of all the wonderful pic manips @wangxianswuji has made, which maybe it's cheating a bit for a fanfic rec post, but. They're just so good. Go check their profile and drool with me ^-^

and speaking of art, I can't not mention @wrathyforest's art done for the fic Now that I see you, particularly one of my favourite moments with Xiao Xingchen defending Xue Yang from an undesirable... this fic was in last year's rec list, and very deservingly so!

ANd now for the other ships!

Love of my life, don't hurt me by @foreheadkissesforzewu-jun This is a delightful and spectacularly cruel tale of unrequired love by a gallant cultivator spiriting his soulmate away. At least, that's what Wen Zhuliu sees it, when in fact this fic is him kidnapping and brutally assaulting Lan Xichen, while following the events of the Wen war and the sunshot campaign. Loved it, but PLEASE read the tags.

Jade pillar, bending like reed by awkwardrecline. dark jades (and dark!Lan Xichen in particular) are so so sooo very dear to my heart... this fic has it all, a tyrannical Lan clan leader who will abuse his power left right and center, a jealous didi who wants nothing but possessive love, so much smut everywhere... Cloud Recesses is never as sexy as when the jades are so unrestrained, I love it! ^-^

My future mommy's mistake by tenwudzvrs. Is this fic pretty much what many people consider nono kinks? mpreg, noncon, xue yang being an utter dick? and do I love it precisely because of it? XD pregnant Wei Wuxian goes home one evening but comes across a ruffian in a back alley, who does everything to him up to and including speaking with his husband through the phone while nailing him to the wall. Lan Zhan isn't happy. I am delighted.

What brother needs, brother gets by @foreheadkissesforzewu-jun. a modern AU jadecest pwp which... to be honest, it's pure oral fixation Lan Xichen going to his didi after he got dumped by some idiot and Lan Wangji doing the best he can to comfort him. It's ridiculously shameless and incredibly enjoyable, just to see these two come to the conclusion that the best course of action is to fuck each other!! XD Wei Ying will find a surprise when he gets back home from his travels and finds his husband has collected another husband...

furious love by @alipeeps. From Till the end of the moon, a very nasty and wonderfully in-canon insight on the disastrous marriage between Ye Xiwu (the original) and Tantai Jin. Let's just say she decides to take her marital rights to the extreme, and using the very same lust potion that originally landed her in that marriage to begin with! Tantai Jin is one of those characters that truly suffer beautifully, and suffer he does here!

a fire, made high and wild by @judiwench. A fic for Sleuth of Ming Dynasty, which is a series that wormed its way into my soul. Sui Zhou desperately searches Tang Fan (him, please, him, not his corpse) only to find him... less than good. I was seriously debating between this one and is the festering that kills a man by the same author, but... Agh, they are both amazing snippets at their obvious mutual love, and the trauma that brings it to light. Highly recommend the series and these fics!

a long sleepless night by @dying-redshirt-noises. This one is from Mysterious Lotus Casebook, a wonderful three-way pwp in the Girls' Mansion where Fang Duobing gets doused with sex pollen... of course, Li Lianhua wants to help, but there is not much he can do with his yang disfunction. How handy to have someone like a-Fei nearby to rail the young master, then!! It is sexy and wonderfully in-canon, and I'm all for it.

And I'm probably still forgetting a few fics, there is nowhere near enough jadecest here compared to what I know I have read and enjoyed... Shame on me again for forgetting to bookmark more often than not.

I'm a bit sad that I barely found any of this year's authors on tumblr (don't know if they don't have accounts here, or do under different usernames) so if anyone knows about them, repost bc I'd like to engage and give them my most sincere praise.

Also, I will say I purposefully avoided tgcf fics for fear of spoilers until I read the whole book, so... next year I'm surely filling this with hualian and such!! >w<

Finally, since we're at it, I just will get a bit of self-promotion with the 5 fics I liked most of what I wrote on this year. I'm IMMENSELY PROUD to have produced 36 fics in this year of our lord 2023 (3 per month!!! omfg!!) and while I can't claim favourites, these might be the ones I'm most proud of:

Some kind of dream. Xuexiao roleplaying after a night hunt, with some nice power dynamics, very mutually enthusiastic consensual non-con, and Xue Yang all but confessing that he is Xiao Xingchen's worse enemy... Smut and fluff, all in one. I do love the 3 year bliss in Yi City, and all the in-canon opportunities it offers!!!

Incensed nights. An INSANE endeavor for kinktober, with WangXian dreaming each night a different cozy, cruel, smutty or simply crack-y scenario. 31 fics for the price of one!! multiple pairings, I can't stress how much Lan Zhan dreams of his brother, or wei wuxian's mind follows other ships... Extremely happy with this one, and I nearly went crazy, seriously.

Shards of morning nights and forbidden kisses. My attempt at jadecest, niecest and omegaverse, all in one. ANd quite successful, might I say! Both clan leaders Lan and Nie want to find a way to claim and marry their respective omega didis, but something something clan rules forces them to play a delicate and sexy political game. It ends in a very nice orgy XD

A Comedy of Yi City Errors. This one, I'm particularly happy with the sheer amount of planning and interlocking plotpoints it has, with Song Lan coming across Xiao Xingchen, a-Qing and Xue Yang without even realizing. I'm told it is quite funny... And I like it very much >w<

...what did you call it again? the only one not mdzs in the list, this is for Till the end of the moon and it's yet again Tantai Jin suffering in his so beautiful way! It was done for an exchange, following the premise: take a canon even and make it worse. Do you think ttj had it bad in the series, with the servants mistreating him in Ye Manor? Ya have seen nuffin!!!

Once again, thanks for reading, thanks to all authors for writing, and let's have a wonderful 2024 full of fics and love!!!

[zahri-melitor]

Okay, off the top of my head (or with a bit of judicious checking of exactly where the run is) I'm going to make a stab at that list of weird things that have happened in DC comics poll:

Batman briefly had a Starro as his unofficial Robin: Jarro obviously, Justice League 2018 #10-38.

Green Arrow (Ollie Queen) gifts Green Lantern (Hal Jordan) Das Kapital each year: comes up in the Christmas with the Super-Heroes #2 story The Flash and Green Lantern: An Old-Fashioned Christmas with Hal and Barry, though it's spelt Das Capital there; may appear elsewhere.

Barbara Gordon endorsed herself for congress as Batgirl (and won): Babs' run for congress is in Detective Comics #422-424 and she talks to reporters as Batgirl which gets taken as an endorsement in #423.

Batman became a sexy vampire: Bruce ends up a vampire in Earth-43. Whether or not he counts as sexy I guess comes down to your interpretation of art.

The Flash (Wally West) became the spokesman of a pyramid scheme cult: oh lord this is somewhere in the Flash run I think. Cannot tell you where but I remember people talking about it.

Wonder Woman rides on a kangaroo called Jumpa: Jumpa is a long-established Golden Age character, first appearing in Sensational Comics #6. She can fly.

Hal Jordan was (essentially) gender fluid in the 2000s and was called Auntie Hal: Welcome to Hal Jordan's Spectre run in 2001.

Martian Manhunter is addicted to the Oreo knock off Chocos: I think this was first established back in the Justice League Detroit years? But yeah, he's got a thing for Chocos.

Booster Gold accidentally undid the extinction of the dinosaurs: literally just happened in Batman: Brave and the Bold #13-14 and he spent some time with the Jurassic League (then he redid it). May have occurred elsewhere.

The Flash's (Wally West) 21st birthday was hosted by Fidel Castro: another famous fact about Wally, from The Flash 1987 #22. His Flash run WENT PLACES.

Black Canary became a swashbuckling space pirate who fought slavers: so this is the one I'm convinced is wrong. Dinah's fought slavers in Black Canary 1993 #9-11, among other places, but I cannot recall her being a space pirate to do so. You know who has been, though? Diana in the Messner-Loebs Wonder Woman 1987 run, from #66-71. (She even had a space dragon/fire lizard during the period)

The Riddler was briefly a shakespearean actor (and its how he met his ex bf): okay this one I can't place, and may also be wrong.

[the-mercurial-star-o-vesper]

MGS3 arguably has the most relevant symbols of what I call the MGS Cycle (MGS1, MGS2, and MGS3... and MGS5. Though MGS5 is more like a supplement and less a cyclic element. )--

--The reason MGS4 doesn't count, is because it breaks the narrative cycle, by convoluting its characters, turning the symbols meaningless, and well, ending the story without use of the cycle motifs--

MGS3 is a kind of map legend to the MGS Cycle motif. It breaks down the basic archetypes into their most obvious selves. EVA represents the Love Interest, Ocelot still dominates his archetype as the double-triple-crosser, the Sniper character in the End, the Ninja in the Fear, the in-over-his-head science-tech type found in Sokalov...

Ecctra, ecctra.

But the one prominent one that's important, that MGS3 puts in your face Look-Here Blazing-Signs because it is that important... and that's who the Boss stands for.

The Boss appears out of the fog of her first introduction, like a legend out of the fogs of myth. She is constantly praised as not just a Legend, but The Legend, the Mother of Legends even. She is the mentor, to where even Big Boss is but a student.

( Character analysis? She is also a broken women that has had literally everything robbed from her, including cognition, but still marches forward regardless. She is the embodiment of the saying that one can control nothing in life but their attitude. Quite frankly, I got real sick of hearing people praise her and questioned how come nobody is trying to actually Help her. She says things that come out of left field and don't make a whole lot of contextual sense, like she's not always present, and that's saying something given that we're in Metal Gear. The only time she ever seems to truly focus and is present is when she's on mission--Yes she was a legend, we know, but fuck, she needed Help, not Praise. What the hell is wrong with the MGS3 Cast. )

The Boss is represented by a snake, yes, given she leads the Cobra Unit and she is arguably where Naked Snake himself gets all his icons (which he will later drop as Big Boss), but she is also represented by the Horse.

And not just any Horse either... though we do see her literal horse, which is why this narrative symbolism is even being considered.

And Remember that MGS3 is when we get introduced to Chinese elements through Eva, just as Ocelot introduced / introduces Wild West elements.

One of the more important Chinese Horse symbols, is the Idea Horse or the Horse of Will. It is the embodiment of the indomitable human body and spirit, and often paired up with the Monkey of Mind, or the embodiment of the unfettered human mind.

There was a famous Chinese story that ran with these exact motifs--and that's Journey to the West.

Only instead of Sun Wukong (Who is arguably the more fitting of an setting filled with Hollywood Action Films that MGS likes to mimic), MGS embodies and centers around one of the other disciples--Bai Long Ma, the White Horse Dragon, and representative of the Horse of Will.

( And that's not getting into how horses and snakes are often combined mythologically anyway )

Through both narrative motifs, ancient literary symbols (The Horse), and of course, MGS cycle archetypes (The Snake), the Boss represents the indomitable human will.

There is, in fact, no opponent in the MGS Cycle that we face, that represents that archetype, though it is the most important archetype of all MGS.

Because we've faced them as an opponent before, but we have played them as a player character.

And that's Solid Snake.

ADDENDUM: THE REASON MGS IS (MEANT TO BE) A CYCLE

The reason I call it the MGS Cycle, is because it is a repetitious story, inspite of background elements.

The Indomitable Will (Solid Snake) is at the end of his trials of Self, and takes his last trial of self--Facing the Building Blocks of Life and History experienced (MGS1 whose key word is Gene, the literal building blocks of Life and all villians in MGS1 will claim that the steps experienced in their history has made them who they are), and facing down his worse self, his shadow, (Liquid Snake).

A new trialer begins their trials of self (Raiden), which starts facing what makes up their mind (MGS2 keyword is Meme--is your mind real, or is it merely made up of what you're informed is real), where the rookie asks himself what is real, what to believe, what led him to this point, and facing himself lest he fall into delusion.

The Indomitable Will, seeking to break the cycle to allow the world to remain as it was, mentors the new trialer (often through grueling methods) as he takes on his new trials.

Now the mentoree (Jack / Naked Snake), strong through his teacher's teachings, after succeeding his Trial of Mind, he now must face his Trial of Reality (MGS3's keyword is Scene, the World is a stage, now that you know you are real, is the world you're in real?) as the warrior he was built to be. Unfortunately, this trial involves facing off against the Indomitable Will who has already taken all her trials (The Boss).

... and the Mentoree fails, because by defeating the Indomitable Will, he breaks his own will in the process and, wins the mission but fails the trial. He becomes an aspect of the trials for the next Indomitable Will to face down.

This is how the cycle, by its motifs, works. If MGS4 had followed the set narrative cycle, it would've resulted in Raiden killing Solid Snake, just as Naked Snake killed the Boss, and setting Raiden up to become the next "Big Boss" archetype.

... And then the cycle starts over.

MGS5 is an odd supplement, because its worth more if you place its story motifs between MGS2 and MGS3, rather following after MGS4. It details how the Indomitable Will, in spite of its rebellion against the cycle, would get re-entrenched into the cycle. The Boss, for all her will power, is, for some reason, insanely shackled by loyalty to something that she knows means her harm. MGS5 shows the metaphorical shackling--how do you shackle the Indomitable Will? By forcing it into a false form.

[mask131]

While I am on the topic of Netflix's Monkey King, I have two thoughts about the character of The Dragon King.

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD! SPOILERS AHEAD!

Thought 1: I was a bit dubious of making the Dragon King the main antagonist of the story, since in the original novel, Ao Guang isn't actually an antagonist, but rather a reluctant ally to Sun Wukong. This Dragon King does work as this strange mix of a watery Hades (Disney) and a male Ursula, but I was wondering about the choices behind it (don't get me wrong, I love water and sea-themed villains, I am just curious as of the adapting process). But having watched the movie now, I realize that this is actually another homage to Chinese culture - just not to the Journey to the West per se.

Netflix's Dragon King is ACTUALLY based on the character of the Dragon King from the animated movie "Nezha Conquers the Dragon King". You know, the late 70s Chinese animated movie? This movie was one of the big reasons people believe that, in "The Investiture of the Gods" novel, Ao Guang was a vicious being of chaos - when in fact he was not. It was in this movie that the Dragon King was depicted as a destructive antagonist all about causing storms and water-based disasters, and it also from there that the whole "The Dragon King eats children" comes from (the same "eat children" joke that the Netflix movie uses). Plus, the color palette or the new Dragon King and Nezha's Dragon King are also very similar, so the homage is pretty clear.

Thought 2: I am dumb sometimes - it took me a long time to understand why the Dragon King's final kaiju-like form looked like a bloated Godzilla. At first I thought they were just making a fat Godzilla joke or recreating the "giant Ursula" feel from the Little Mermaid final. Then I noticed that each time he was hit by the Monkey King, water flew out of his body, but I thought it was just some cool special effect. It was only when his body started twisting itself that I finally understood the joke: that the Dragon King had turned itself into a giant water balloon.

Which actually fills one of the eventual plot-holes there could have been. Indeed, it is shown that in this universe only the Immortals can become giants (Monkey King only gains the ability to grow in size when becoming fully Immortal), and yet the Dragon King is clearly not one of the Immortals given the way he talks about them. So how could he grow giant? Well here's the answer: he "cheated", he rather gorged himself with sea water like a giant sponge. It is basically the fable of "The Frog that wanted to grow as big as a Bull". Plus, of course, there is the obvious metaphor and image of the Dragon King growing as big and bloated as his own ego. Which in turns serves as a "mirror" for the Monkey King, because while he grows even bigger than the Dragon King, it is also the moment where Monkey snaps and becomes a madman (well, a mad monkey), his ego having grown even bigger than the one of the Dragon King.

[pompomqt]

Journey to the West Chapter 37

Tripitaka using his scary dog privilege at every opportunity:

This chapter of Journey to the West with @journeythroughjourneytothewest we get to find out what the threat of the week is going to be, so let's get into it shall we?

We begin this chapter with Tripitaka falling asleep at his reading desk while reviewing scriptures. And before to long, a spooky ghost decides to take this opportunity to visit the local ghost buster! Tripitaka however isn't to pleased to be visited by the freak of the week and threatens him that he has very valiant and powerful disciples who will reduce him to dust if they see him, so they should take Tripitaka's mercy and bail before they see him. Pity he can never compliment them like this when he's awake.

The ghost however manages to convince them that they aren't a monster here to eat him or anything, turns out the ghost is actually a king. A ghost king. Or rather just a king that's a ghost I guess. Anyways Tripitaka is horrified at his own rudeness in the face or royalty and is much more willing to hear out the king's story now. Said story goes a little something like this: Five years ago his kingdom faced a severe drought and nothing they did could fix it. However one day a Daoist came to their kingdom, and he had the ability to summon wind and rain and even transform rock into gold. When he was able to summon three feet of rain and even added an extra two inches for them, the king was so impressed he became bond brothers with him. However two years later said daoist pushed the king into a well and buried it, even planting a tree over it, which is how the king died and became a ghost.

Tripitaka asks how nobody could notice that their king was missing and the king explains that the daoist copied his form and took over his kingdom. Tripitaka then asks why he doesn't just file a wrongful death lawsuit with the ten kings, and the king explains that the Daoist isn't just powerful he is also a rather important person. A relative of the Dragon Kings and bond brothers with the kings of hell. And honestly this sort of thing is starting to sound familiar, someone so important and powerful that normal people can't do anything against them... in fact if Sun Wukong didn't have an alibi of protecting Tripitaka and being trapped under a mountain for the last five years, I'd be worried that they might be talking about him.

Luckily they aren't talking about Sun Wukong, and are actually here to ask for his help. I guess they'd rather deal with Tripitaka's diplomacy rather then taking it straight to Monkey though. And what better way to deal with a powerful, well connected usurper, then getting help from the original? Anyways, Tripitaka is more then happy to loan out Wukong's fiend seizing abilities, but worries that he might have trouble with this particular task. In a straight fight Sun Wukong would win of course, but Tripitaka is more worried about the legal battle that would follow since the Daoist is currently pretending to be the king after all.

Luckily the king has a plan for this, or at the very least an ally that will be able to help them. The prince of kingdom is still living in the palace but has been kept away from his mother to stop the two of them from talking and potentially figuring things out. Anyways the prince will be out of the city on a hunting trip tomorrow giving Tripitaka a chance to meet with him. The king also give Tripitaka proof to show the prince in the form of a jade token. When the Daoist took the kings form he didn't take the token and instead just accused the Daoist of stealing it. So Tripitaka having it could prove his words true- or you know, completely backfire and make the prince think that Tripitaka is the evil Daoist. Either one.

Anyways now that the Ghost King has fulfilled his NPC role and has given Tripitaka his side quest for the week, he takes his leave and Tripitaka awakens from his dream. So Tripitaka immediately starts yelling for his disciples which of course immediately leads to Pigsy bitching that they can't get even a moments peace on this journey! Tripitaka just ignores him and tells his disciples about the crazy dream he had. Luckily Monkey is more then happy to take commissions for his ass kicking abilities and is more then happy to beat that guy to a pulp.

Tripitaka then remembers that the King left him something and looks around for it, when they find the Jade Token from the dream outside the door that serves as proof that the dream was real. With that settled the group enters into planning mode. Monkey already has a plan in mind and asks if Tripitaka will be willing to face three unlucky things, those three things being 'Take the blame, take abuse and catch the plague. Tripitaka tries to ask for more details about those alarming three things but Monkey just tells him 'don't worry about it' and proceeds to change one of his hairs into a fancy box and putting the token into it.

Monkey then proceeds to tell him the plan. Tripitaka will wait here in his fancy cassock and recite some sutra's while Monkey scopes out the city. If he see's the fiend he'll just kill him and save them all the trouble, but if not he'll instead just lead the prince to Tripitaka. Once the prince show's up, Monkey will announce him before shrinking himself to fit inside the box. After that Tripitaka is to ignore him until the prince gets pissy and tries to arrest him, which is where the whole 'take the blame, beating and catch the plague' part of his plan comes into play.

Tripitaka is quite understandably nervous about this plan, but Monkey assure him that he will never let anything ever actually hurt him. When the prince interrogates him Tripitaka is to tell him about his journey from the east. And when the prince asks him about his treasures, Tripitaka is to say that he has the cassock which is a third class treasure but that he also has a first and second class treasure. When the prince asks for more info, Tripitaka is to tell him that he has a treasure that knows about the past 500 years, the present 500 years and the future 500 years- said treasure being Monkey who will take the opportunity to tell the prince about Tripitaka's dream. If the prince still doesn't believe them they can then show him the jade token as proof. Tripitaka thinks this is a wonderful plan and asks what he should call the third 'monkey treasure'. Monkey suggests calling him 'King-Making thing.'

With the plan set, all that's left to do is wait till morning when they can put the plan into motion. When morning comes Sun Wukong leaves to scout the city as promised and see's that it is surrounded in layers of eerie mists and battered by constant gusts of wind, and generally just has bad vibes, a sure sign of a fiendish ruler. Once Monkey takes a good look at the city, the gates open letting out the prince's hunting party. Monkey uses this opportunity to lure the prince away by transforming into a rabbit and pretending to let the prince shoot him with an arrow and scampering away. When the prince see's that the arrow hit it's mark, he chases after his pray on horse back and Monkey is able to successfully lure him all the way to the Monastery where Tripitaka is waiting.

Now that the prince is here, they enter into phase two of their plan. As promised Monkey alerts Tripitaka to the prince's presence before shrinking in size and diving into the box. Speaking of the prince he arrives and is startled to see his arrow but not the rabbit he shot. He assumes that it must have been a spirit and leaves it at that, and decides that he might as check out the monastery while he's here. Meanwhile the rest of the prince's entourage arrive and take a self guided tour of the temple, all the monks of the temple kowtow to the prince, but when they reach the room Tripitaka is in, he doesn't acknowledge the prince in anyway. Incensed by this rudeness the Prince orders for Tripitaka to be seized. As promised however, Monkey isn't going to let any harm come to Tripitaka, and he accomplishes this by threatening all the gods that are Tripitaka guard duty. Monkey is sure to inform all the guardian deities that if they allow Tripitaka to be bound, he will find them all guilty. So of course the gods step in and make it so the guards can't even touch Tripitaka.

Seeing that Tripitaka can't be touched the prince immediately starts interrogating Tripitaka, and Tripitaka follows the script he and Monkey had worked out earlier. Tripitaka also takes this opportunity to introduce Monkey as the treasure called the King-Making Thing. So Monkey exits the box in his tiny form, but grows immediately back to his normal size as soon as the prince calls him a midget. So Monkey tells the prince all about the drought and the doaist as proof of his knowledge of the past. Then Monkey has the prince dismiss his entourage before telling him that the king on the throne is not actually his father but instead the doaist.

The Prince of course isn't to keen to hear that his father is an imposter so Monkey decides it's time to use their trump card. He has Tripitaka hand him the box, and takes back his hair which leaves only the Jade Token. Of course as should be expected the Prince immediately starts accusing *them* of being the Daoist as soon as he see's that they have the Jade Token and once again tries to order them to be arrested. While Tripitaka is freaking out that their plan has gone completely sideways, Monkey simply introduces himself and tells the Prince the whole true story about what happened. After hearing Monkey's explanation about his ghost father, he believes them, but still isn't sure what he can do about the whole situation. Monkey however encourages the Prince to speak to his mother the queen, in secret.

And so we end this chapter of Journey to the West with the prince heading out to have a conversation with his mother.

Current Sun Wukong Stats: Names/Titles: Monkey, The Stone Monkey, The Handsome Monkey King, Sun Wukong (Monkey awakened to the void), Bimawen (Banhorseplague), The Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Pilgrim Sun. Immortality: 5 + 94,000 years. Weapon: The Compliant Golden Hooped Rod Abilities: 72 Transformations, Cloud-Somersault, Ability to transform his individual hairs, super strength, Ability to Summon Wind, Water restriction charm, and the ability to change into a huge war form, ability to duplicate his staff, ability to immobilize others, the ability to put others to sleep, and the Fiery eyes and Diamond Pupils, intimidating horses, churning large bodies of water, sleeplessness, seizing the wind, enhanced smell, discerning good and evil within a thousand miles, Spirit Summoning, lock picking, object transformation, distance reduction and vanishing in a flash of light. Demon Kill Count: 9+ Unknown Number of Minions Human Kill Count: 1006 God's Defeated: 22 + Unknown number Defeats: 4 Crime List: Robbery, Murder, Mass Murder, Arson, Theft, Coercion, Threatening a Government Official, Resisting Arrest, Assault, Forgery, Employee Theft, False Imprisonment, Impersonating a Government Official, Treason, attempted murder, failure to control or report a dangerous fire, desecrating a corpse, breaking and entering, trespassing, violating Tree Law, looting corpses, trading counterfeit goods and Criminal Threat Cry Count: 6 + 2 fake cries Mountains Trapped Under: 4

Current Tang Sanzang stats: Names/Titles: River Float, Xuanzang, Tang Sanzang, Tripitaka Abilities: Curing Blindness, making branches point a certain direction (allegedly), reciting sutras, pretty privilege, memorization and Heart Sutra. Cry Count: 18 Tight Fillet Spell Uses: 27 Paralyzed by fear: 5 Bandit Problems: 2 Kidnapped by demons: 4 Falling Off Horses: 6

Current Bai Long Ma Stats: Names/Titles: Bai Long Ma (White Dragon Horse), Prince of the Western Ocean, and third prince jade dragon of the dragon king Aorun Abilities: Transforming into a human, a water snake, and a horse, eating a horse in one bite, flight, Magic of Water Restriction, Singing, and Sword Dancing. Cry Count: 1 Crime List: Arson, and Grave Disobedience. Contributions to the plot: 2

Current Zhu Wuneng Stats: Names/Titles: The Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds, Zhu Wuneng (Pig who is aware of ability), Zhu Ganglie, Pigsy, Idiot and Eight Rules. Weapon: Rake Abilities: 36 Transformations, parting water, fighting underwater, cloud soaring and size enhancement Demon Kill Count/Kill steals: 2 Kidnapped by Demons: 1 Human Kill Count: 1 Failed Flirtation/romances Attempts: 3 Cry Count: 1 Crime List: Sexual Harassment, Murder, Kidnapping and arson.

Current Sha Wujing Stats: Names/Titles: The Curtain-Raising General, Sha Wujing (Sand Aware of Purity), Sandy and Sha Monk Weapon: Monster Taming Staff Abilities: Fighting underwater and Cloud soaring. Demon Kill Count: Unknown number of minions. Kidnapped by Demons: 2 Human Kill Count: 1 Crime List: Breaking a Crystal Cup, murder, and desecration of a human corpse.

[ghostofvalorie]

That Essay

@forsaire tagged me and now I MUST provide! You opened Pandora's box on this one.

To adhere to the rules I will first provide FOUR and ONLY FOUR of my fictional crushes! And to make it easier on us all I've narrowed it down to games only, so here we go!

I'm starting off from the very beginning of my journey into crushing on non-existent people, and people who have read my tags before might know this one already!

Malik Al Sayf from Assassins Creed 1 - 2007

A man whom you've wrong by being arrogant and then spends the next few hours of the game being yelled at by him, and rightfully so. Not only do you cost him his arm and place as an assassin in the brotherhood, but his younger brother as well.

Eventually Altaïr stops begin a prick and apologizes and Malik, bless his heart forgives him.

Still... not me rolling into Jerusalem hoping, wishing, to get yelled at because Malik's Voice Actor goes HARD <3 I love him and his 7 whole polygons! NEXT!!

Keeping it somewhat chronological:

The Arishok from Dragon Age 2 - 2011

He beeg. He got horns. He is technically an antagonist in the game but he has a moral code that makes sense to him that he is willing to kill and die for. Qunari famously live their lives incredibly black and white so to him he is in the right, even if we disagree.

But he just got a wholeass vibe, and he'll say nice things such as

"I have a growing lack of disgust for you" and I mean, with that voice... say no more sir. *takes shirt off*

NR 3: Adam Jensen from Deus Ex - 2011-2016

My cyborg husband <3

Ex-swat turned security guy, then interpool agent (depends on which game you are playing)

He's just an incredibly good guy, the sweetest person on the block. Ofc it depends on how you play and what choices you make, but MY Adam is a sweeheart that will go out of his way to help people.

And my boi got sass, he'll be snarky to literally anyone, his boss, the cops, criminals you name it.

He's also secretly a little funny. <3

Nr 4: Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption 2 - 2018

I mean first off, he do a little *mlem* when he drinks coffee... Do i even need to say more?

Arthur is just such a perfect sad boy. Raised to believe his only worth lies in killing people when in reality he is incredibly competent, sharp and caring. Again depends on how you play the game, but my Arthur is the goodest boi in the west.

Now that was four, oh but look, somehow completely unrelated to all this, some other honorable mentions seems to have ended up after the cut, how silly of me!

And @xintothewoodswegox, show us what you got!

Beast from Beauty and the Beast - 2017

No further comment, your honor, if you've seen the movie you should know.

Kaidan Alenko from Mass Effect - 2012

How can we not love the powerful nerdass space magician! He's caring, he is cute, he is Canadian and schrodinger's person of color!

He also glow blue, what else can you possible want? I for sure do NOT kick my feet and twirl my hair anytime he wants to talk to me.

Eris Goddess of Chaos from Sinbad - 2003

I MEAN LOOK AT HER?!?!?!? Again an antagonist, but she is sexy about it.

Helga Sinclair from Atlantis - 2001

I'm-I i mean, I don't even have words. Every time I SEE Helga my brain flat-lines I can't help it.

THAT GIF THO???

Majima Goro from the Like a Dragon series of games

No comment, because if i start i will NEVER stop, he's story is too good.

Simon 'Ghost' Riley from Call of Duty MWII - 2022

I could literally put ALL the characters from that game in this list. ALL OF THEM, but to keep this somewhat short I've chosen ONE and i've chosen Ghost, the most tragic man alive.

Kar'niss from Baldur's Gate 3 - 2023

Another TRAGIC boi, missunderstood and abused </3 I could take care of him. LET ME TAKE CARE OF HIM LARIAN

Jonathan Reid from Vampyr - 2018

You didn't think I'd squeeze in a vampire this late, did you?

I wasn't overly impressed by Jonathan from the start, BUT, he is FASCINATING if you play him as a bloodthirsty villain willing to murder everyone for power! I'm here for bad-boy Reid!

Lastly, for now:

Corvo Attano from Dishonored - 2012

Also an incredibly tragic man, who's fate you hold in your hands with your actions!

He's just hot, he's a dilf, he can succumb to grief and violence or rise above it to save not only his daughter but an entire empire from destruction.

I'm not sure i've y'all have noticed the pattern yet but let me spell it out for you:

PEOPLE THAT CAN ABSOLUTELY DESTROY ME! Look at them all! So STRONG! So POWERFUL! Fuck, mess me up fam!

And the beauty lies in that they never would. Or I mean Eris might... but I'm in a firm belief that the others would never harm someone they care about and ain't that just the purest thing you've ever heard.

Now this was only the highlights of my fictional crushes, I've kept most of the absolute freaks out for now. Maybe I'll do an updated list later where werewolves and Cthulhu makes the cut, we'll see. Now I know HP Lovecraft wasn't a very cool dude to say the least, but you expect me to be normal about the big tentacle monster? REALLY?

Lower your expectations.

[mjrtaurus]

Dragon was extremely lucky to have parents who loved and accepted him eating a Zoan fruit, and he didn't realize how much so until he learned that the small subset of children who end up consuming a Zoan are often abandoned in the wilderness. The Revolutionary Army have come across their fair share over the years.

A teenage boy from the South Blue who ate the Inu Inu no mi Model Dhole who Lindbergh found being chased out of his forest home by the locals.

A ten year-old boy from the North Blue who ate the Bear Bear Fruit and was being paraded around in a travelling circus until it went bankrupt when he was then dumped into the woods where Karasu saved him from drowning in the river because he didn't know he couldn't swim like other bears.

An eight year-old girl from the West Blue who ate the Ryu Ryu no mi Model Komodo Dragon who sent people running when she came scuttling through the trash heaps on the outskirts of town because they were terrified to be exposed to her toxins.

A five year old girl from the Grand Line who was thrown out of her house as a one year old for eating the Neko Neko no mi Model Tiger. She never learned to walk on two legs and had never even seen another human before Sabo and Koala found her feasting on a deer carcass.

It was like in the fairy tales where a child is cursed for doing something wrong or dangerous, but… all they had done was eat a pretty looking fruit. And now everyone hated them. Their parents, their siblings, their friends, their whole town…

Most of them didn’t even know they could change back into their human forms. They’d nobody to teach them. Nobody that could teach them.

Yes, Dragon was very lucky to have been loved like he was. Now he could share that love with these kids, give them the support system they need, teach them how to work with their respective powers.

The tiger girl had been the toughest to teach, through no fault of her own. She had been so young when she came into the power, had relied on it to survive for so long… the poor thing was half mad when they brought her in, speaking like a toddler that was just grasping that the sounds they could make was for communicating.

She can shift her form with ease now. She can speak and write now. She had a little trouble socializing, but that was something that she would unfortunately be caring for the rest of her life. But she had people who loved her, and who were patient with her.

There was hardly a dry eye in the base when she awakened, and the hagoromo that meant it was successful and complete haloed her.

She chose to join up with the Revs pretty early. Not quite as early as Sabo, but still young enough to put a bad taste in Dragon’s mouth. He hated seeing children here, but he understood that turning them away when they had such a fire in their hearts, or had their only support system here with them, was a terrible idea.

She still eats deer, though. That’s a bit of wildness that’s not exactly worth the struggle to change. Seas knew hunger (and Ed) had driven Dragon to some vile, vulture-y things in the name of survival when he first left the marines, too.

[dballzposting]

Was thinking again about the bizarre scenario that this post ended with in which Trunks has an ex-girlfriend drop a baby at his doorstep and Goten steps in to help him deal with this. Well I have more to say abt it .....

I think a lot these days about the nature of health and humanity so that's why I shoehorn dragon ball characters into such trying yet domestic situations. Sorry

READ ON TO DISCOVER TRIALS & TRIBULATIONS OF SON GOTEN & TRUNKS BRIEFS NAVIGATING THIS FUCKED UP SITUATION....TOGETHER!!!!

Well first of all the way that the infant's mother does not ask for money or resources, even though Trunks is rich, is sort of what dictates Trunks and Goten's decisions about this. Trunks's first impulse is to Give It Back or Give It Away but Goten is first and foremost stricken by how this mother only wanted to abdicate the responsibility altogether, and all privileges therein. It honestly fucks with his head a bit.

I don't know if this will make sense and I'm just spit-balling here but: Goten was raised by Chichi who freely expresses (and weaponizes..) her strong emotions, and most of her emotions have something to do with the importance of family and motherhood to her. And since she is This Way, Goten grew up feeling that these sorts of matters are to be revered or honored or most astutely FEARED, becasue his mother had a poor tolerance for her feelings and behaved as if they were All So Dire, and so that's the impression that Goten got.

Because of the other people in his life and the prevailing mindsets and his own experiences and training, Goten has minimal experience with being emotionally-stunted or fearful of his own feelings; but that initial impression of DIRENESS that he got from his mother is not wholly removed from him, and it has been repurposed into "Oh, it's just the emotions around motherhood that are dire like that." Because those are the emotions that he has not had himself and so has had no re-contextualizing experience with to teach him that they are tolerable like the rest of life.

He knows by now that his mother is batshit crazy but also, when he turns to the world, he does receive the same input that "actually motherhood and child-rearing are very important and delicate things" so he just carries on like "Okay, so it really must be that dire to experience. Okay."

His perception isn't ... WRONG, and a respect for motherhood is a respect for humanity, but his understanding does involve that core of emotional violence from his mother, and that part isn't necessarily universal or beneficial. But like honestly that can be ironed out. He's honestly fine to keep it, even. Like it's close enough

So: When Trunks calls Goten in an anxious fit and says around the sounds of a baby crying that SOMEBODY HAS DROPPED AN INFANT ON THE DOORSTEP OF HIS PERSONAL HOME-AWAY-FROM-HOME IN THE METRO-WEST-SUBURBIA-INTERSECTION and that THE DAMN THING HAS HIS EYES and he DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO, well... OBVIOUSLY Goten heads over there as fast as the wind. And as they try to discuss What To Do, Goten is really disturbed that ... a mother could do this?

....He didn't know that that was within the range of options for a mother.

Trunks doesn't understand it either, but moreso from the perspective of "I am BUSY and have 0 experience with CHILDREN so WHY would ANYONE think to DO THIS TO ME..?"

There is a lot to unravel here from Goten's POV: Trunks, why weren't you more careful? Trunks, weren't you also a bastard child? Trunks, aren't you rich, is this really a problem? Trunks, she's not even asking for child support money, doesn't that tell you something about the practical likelihood of this mother being in this child's life? I can't understand how a mother could do this. I cannot fathom the pain she is in, should I be crying about it on her behalf? I don't know if she knows her limitations and is being responsible, or if she is immature and we should be angry with her. Trunks, can't you see that this isn't necessarily about blame or fault, but about the morbidly-misplaced infant who is currently undergoing more emotional pain than any infant should?

I think of Goten as being really emotionally intelligent becasue of his lifestyle and becasue of his nature and becasue Thats What I Want To See And Write About Right Now Just Personally .... So he has the wisdom to know that all of his vexation is just GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT. He has the grace to allow himself however long it will take to subtly work out the perplexment and inner knots. He doesn't need to know everything right now. Becasue right now he has a fucking job to do.

JOB #1: HOSE DOWN TRUNKS

Goten is a real one and he and Trunks are Ride or Die TO THE MAX. Goten hears the slightest edge of nerves in Trunks's voice and he is THERE. He doesn't even think about it. He just assumes the responsibility of compassion becasue that's just what they do for each other. Goten is a very good friend

Trunks is obviously freaking out hardcore, and even though Goten is 100% ready to make this his own problem too, he still allows himself the courtesy of being removed enough to Keep His Head On Straight. He can offer the clarity of an outside perspective and the support of compassion which is exactly why Trunks called him first before calling anyone else. Goten breaks it down pretty simply.

The mother has behaved extremely in order to remove herself from the picture; she is no longer a player. You cannot rely or fallback on her. Forget about her.

You have money and resources, so stop panicking.

You can't keep this a secret from your family forever, but if you need some time, you have enough room and food and money here to get by alright without them for a short while; it's just the issue of needing a caretaker.

We don't need to involve a third party right this second, I'm here and available to help sort this out while we settle into the situation and figure out a best course of action.

This is your problem but don't think of it that way; it's much more a problem for the baby than it is for you. This is life and death for it. You and I can both respect the severity of that.

You can give it away if you want but you know that that won't last long, at some point this child will need to know the context for its Saiyan blood.

You're my best friend and I have no other obligations in my life right now; if you can't miss work then I will stay here and help figure this out. This is your child, and whether or not that matters to you is ultimately up to you, but I think that family matters, and I think that the needs of this random infant is bigger than whatever we have going on in our lives. I know that we can spare the few weeks or months it will take for us to set up a functioning game plan.

So they agree to forget about the mother as a player and potential helper; to avoid involving Trunks's family yet (Trunks's wish); and that even though this is so sudden and they are so unprepared, whatever they feel about it has to go on the back-burner for now because the needs of the situation persists no matter how they feel about it.

JOB #2: DEAL WITH THE BABY?

It would be very wise to involve an experienced caretaker right now. Even just calling up Videl and Gohan would be helpful.

Goten wants to do that, but he also doesn't want to argue with Trunks about it right now. Necessity calls, and the first few days are Goten handling the baby and telling Trunks to Calm Down and Get Some Rest and Go To Work and Act Natural and Clear Your Head and We Can Regroup In A Few Days. Ultimately if Trunks continues to feel violated then this may blow up further, so Goten respects his wishes for secrecy IN THE MEANTIME. He is fully planning on revisiting that later, because, NECESSITY CALLS, and what do THESE TWO KNUCKLEHEADS know about dealing with babies?

Well, Goten was a well-loved baby himself, and is necessarily intimate with his own inner sensations of vitality by virtue of his warrior status, and so he takes to the task intuitively, honestly. He quickly busies himself with cultivating a sense of safety and comfort for the baby, he pays very close attention to its feelings and internal states, he projects a presence of serenity and grace ...

This soothes Trunks, too, who actually listens when after the first hectic day Goten tells him to "go get some rest."

Trunks takes the opportunity to leave and sleep readily - this is all just so fucked to him. Goten is able to remain peaceful even while trying to calm a baby who is Not At All Accepting The Efforts right now, and the sight disturbed Trunks. That's his best friend who used to play in dumpsters with him. What is he doing being a better parent to Trunks's child than Trunks is? This shouldn't be happening to either of them. This isn't who they are. This is so fucked.

So he sleeps it off and goes to work and he comes home and Goten has in that time turned the house into the friendliest space he could cobblefuck/conjure. He has acquired milk formula and pacifiers, a crib, diapers, anything he could remember seeing around when Pan was born. He is wearing an apron and has started dinner but is currently sitting down and holding the baby and trying to soothe it, becasue all day he has been trying to soothe it, because it has been separated from its mother and it has been refusing to eat, and Goten has now committed to being a constant presence of warmth and serenity so that eventually the baby will accept his help. Goten "knows nothing about babies" supposedly but he knows VERY MUCH about what it feels like to be a human/Saiyan, and to be so small and dependent, so he is applying all the wisdom and discipline he's learned over his life.

He sees all the missteps and faults and voids of knowledge, but Trunks sees behavior that is far better than what he was putting out there initially. Goten is sympathetic but remaining unaffected by the violent anxiety that the baby is expressing, because he knows that if he gets worried and tense, then he will no longer be a safe container for the baby's pain like he is trying to be. He knows that this is very difficult for it, and he knows that this wound may leave an emotional scar, and he knows that it won't accept Goten as a caretaker until it's ready to, and in the meantime Goten is just trying to prove himself and rock the baby in his arms to facilitate what he hopes is a progression toward a feeling of safety and the prospect of regulation.

He is the only fratboy in the entire universe who could try to pull this off because he is one of the better warriors in the universe, and physical training and discipline IS emotional training because all the organism is one being. Also he is very respectful of the human condition and of motherhood in general, so it was never a question of IF he could commit himself to the task, but of HOW SOON he can move in.

And Trunks feels awful for thrusting this problem upon his BFF like this but he also feels a myriad of other things like Fear and Stress and Shame and Violation and an indecision around whether or not to Accept & Bond with this child and Indecision about Everything and ultimately an Exhaustion, so he just. Lets Goten's calm demeanor make everything okay.

Oooookay. So.

This just sort of goes on like this for a short while.

Goten becomes completely invested in his new responsibility. It's superficially comical; a fratboy with the freshest fade and biggest muscles, wearing an apron and feeding a baby from a bottle. The want to call Gohan or Videl or Chichi or Bulma or any qualified caretaker has gone unattended. the given reason is that, well, maybe it's not time to yet. The real reason is a mix of apprehension, a desire for quiet, and the good old classic Saiyan impulse of "Hey, wait, maybe I could do this myself, just gimme a minute - let me self-improve, hold on, I think I'm learning, I almost got it, just give me a minute." It seems irresponsible, but Goten is at the point where he really feels like involving more adults into the baby's life may just confuse and stress it, and it's not like there is anybody else who could magically heal the severed bond that the baby had with its mother.

Trunks oscillates as he processes: he is sometimes relieved to have Goten, sometimes disgusted, sometimes ready to call in reinforcements, sometimes ready to jump ship entirely. He sometimes makes dinner and sometimes watches Goten do it with a baby on his hip. Sometimes Trunks never comes home and stays at Capsule Corp for a night or two. He goes to work every day and takes showers that never feel long enough. Sometimes he escapes to meditate or train alone, but the clarity and peace is disturbed when he comes home to a distraught baby who never giggles and who has his eyes.

Trunks is sometimes mature about this and sometimes not. At once when he would impetuously demand to at least hold his child ("if this is SUCH a big deal and I HAVE to keep it, after all-"), Goten would respond simply and assertively with "OUR baby."

Now, though, a few long months in, when Trunks extends the effort of patience and grace of tolerance to hold his baby, Goten genuinely hesitates. He looks fretful and doesn't budge. Trunks thought that he had been a bit more respectful in his request this time - after all, it was a request, not a demand - but he senses from Goten's response that maybe he was still too immature, still unrealistic about what he could handle and what he could not. But, need this be a big deal, I mean - it's his, isn't it? Is it a big fucking deal for him to just HOLD it? What is he missing, here?

when Goten speaks, it's like how one whispers softly in a library, and Trunks feels slighted at being indirectly asked to watch his volume in his own home. He feels like he's being shamed, and he rejects this, becasue - is this REALLY a big deal, or is Goten just getting too deep into this and being dramatic?

But Goten tells him that hey, this baby is REALLY sensitive. Sure, it eats now, and clings to Goten like a baby should, but it seems to constantly rely on that presence, and it is easily disquieted, and it takes a lot of rocking to put it to sleep. Goten feels like he's put a lot of work in, and that the baby has come a long way to learn to seek out Goten's face and arms for comfort, but it is not yet wholly trusting, and it cries more than it smiles.

So Trunks sits on the couch next to him and tries to mirror the peacefulness that Goten is always putting out, but he is anxious inside, and that comes through. Goten carefully moves to pass the baby over to Trunks, and he moves slowly, and he tells the baby what's going on in a pleasant tone, and the baby furrows its brow, and Trunks recognizes it as an expression of his own, and he tries to gently take the baby into his arms, and his guts tighten when he hears Goten tell the baby "this is your father," and Trunks lets the baby look at him, and he tries to hold it right and quell the trembling of his nerves, and he gently rocks it at Goten's prompting. And the baby looks confused and sort of upset. And then really upset. And then it turns to look for Goten and reach out to him. And Goten is always careful to be responsive to this baby and so he knew that it was upset to go into the arms of the clearly-stressed-out-and-therefore-unsafe Trunks, and he knew to standby and be ready to take it back at any second. And this he does so. And Trunks stands up and leaves the house. Just fully walks out the front door

Trunks doesn't think of it in this way, but he is living what his father had lived through: he has a bastard child, but is not ready to become a father and pass the torch yet; he is not done with himself, with his arch, with his life.

Trunks is working a job he hates and has not yet found what he should be doing instead. He is not in love with machines like his mother is, and he is not perfectly suited for endless battle like his father is. He hasn't fallen into swords as his calling yet so he has no inkling of ever running a sword-training dojo - he just really has no idea what to do. He's always liked Having Fun and Chilling Out and Fucking Around and he's done quite a lot of that. In fact he's done that his whole life. A lot of which has been with Goten. Now Goten is acting as a mother to Trunks's bastard child becasue Trunks isn't good enough to take care of his own fucking problem. He's too immature or selfish, he's not serious enough, he's too cold even - he has no girlfriend or wife, he has no instinct to settle, he hasn't a familial bone in his body.

He knows how to meet bare minimum, he knows how to exist in shadows - he knows how to play the role of a son but cannot marry that with his own individuality, he cannot excel in his parents' paths nor follow his own, he cannot be someone his parents can be proud of. His sister is much more fit to do all that and more - Trunks can't decide if he feels hindered by the ceiling of his upbringing and parents' expectations, or inflamed by it to grow. His sister seems to be doing great though, and she is fierce and competent, and she never once asked Trunks's help for anything past the age of 6.

Trunks hasn't found himself yet. How could he be responsible for another? Not to mention - he has no experience with being needed.

Eventually he returns to tell Goten all of this. The baby has been put to bed and Goten is cleaning the kitchen, and Trunks walks in and tells him that he is so sorry for making this Goten's problem. He understands that they're ride or die but Trunks can recognize that he has not been bringing an equal amount to the table, even though it was his problem to start. He feels like pure shit about it. And he's sorry for keeping his emotional distance. He feels resentful for that fucking baby and he's sorry for not being able to reconcile with and move past that. And he's sorry for feeling violated by a situation that he himself wrought and that he should be able to HANDLE becasue he is an ADULT. He's angry at himself for still feeling like a lost child on some level, an for being so irresponsible as to have not yet resolved that.

He can see that this is more important than all that, and he is sorry for his incompetence regarding.

And he tells Goten that he is a WAY better parent than Trunks could EVER be - and, y'know, he's GRATEFUL for that, perhaps even feels a strange love for Goten for being there to raise his child, and that weirds him out, but anyway - y'know ... He knows that this can't be true, but he'd rather that it just be Goten's child instead. And Trunks is ride or die and would totally help him out any way he could, but also, yknow, when Goten's family or love interests step in to help, Trunks would, yknow, take his leave. And be grateful for that. Becasue he's no good at this. And he doesn't want the responsibility. And he can't tell if that's selfish or not.

........Aaaaand Goten. Lets him say all of that. Dries his hands. And then he sharpens his gaze. And just says exactly what he means and what needs to be said:

"I'm not a mother, I'm a 23 year old man who is unemployed and unmarried. 75% of the contacts on my phone are party-chicks and dude-friends. Three months ago I was doing keg stand enemas, and now I'm a broodmare. I'm nurturing a child that is not even mine. My body is rock-solid with hella muscles and I'm here trying to mimic the soft warmth of a mother. What I am is a guy who is doing his best - and you can be, too."

That really just cuts through the bullshit. He could also tell Trunks that he is good enough and that he needs to be kinder to himself because "we really don't have the time for you to be all locked-up and self-absorbed, like, if you could get going on the process of self-compassion then that would be great because we really need a second emotionally-available person right now..!"

It comes out now (or a little later when Trunks is willing to listen) thaaaaat ......... Hey! This has been EXHAUSTING for Goten!!

Not even just for the baby, but Goten has had to be calm and capable and soothing for TRUNKS, too!

A little is fine, but this has been going on for a few MONTHS now, you know!?!

And, Oh, the STRESS. Goten knows that if he worries too much then he will end up sending mixed signals to the baby, so he's had to make peace with the prospect that he could "fail" or that essentially the baby could never learn security or comfort. So Goten has accepted the situation as it is; there is an infant in distress, it is not his, it is his best friend's, Goten will do what he can to make sure it survives, he will do what he can to heal its heart, but it is undergoing quite the ordeal and Goten is untrained in such matters SO; this is reality and whatever happens happens.

But, also, Goten has necessarily BONDED with this baby, and he can follow its feelings closely, and- OH, he really does STRESS becasue he DOESN'T KNOW if he's actually HELPING OR NOT? Sometimes he feels like the baby is receiving comfort more readily than before, sometimes he feels like it is starting to withstand the stress of daily living without needing constant comfort, sometimes he can leave the room and return and the baby has not yet started crying in that time, sometimes the baby seeks him out in a way that does not feel so hopeless or needy, sometimes it cries in his arms in a way that feels purifying - but other times it goes cold on him when he misses signals, sometimes it rejects him, sometimes it won't eat, sometimes it becomes desperate and needy and will not be soothed, sometimes Goten starts to feel desperate and hopeless himself!

He wants to be there for the baby, to be a reliable regulator, but how can he when the baby has endured rejection and is now of the reflex to sometimes reject those that care for it?

I do think that there is a day where it starts to feel okay. The baby smiles and giggles and trusts that when Goten leaves the room he will be back soon. Goten starts to feel like it's not the end of the world when sometimes things happen that have the baby feeling ignored or violated, and that in turn invokes a phase of coldness and rejection by the baby - becasue Goten knows to just be patient and to tolerate it alongside the baby, and the baby will live through it. That's all Goten can do. Just continue modeling that it's alright, feelings are forgivable, his love is unconditional, and that life is tolerable.

But even beyond the baby: this situation has given Goten a LOT to stew on and process. His ideas about family and motherhood are being tested, and his best friendship is being twisted and tried. This is a lot for Goten to handle, but they have decided to not tell their families yet, and Goten cannot rely on his BFF for the emotional support - so he has been isolated in this. All he can do is soothe and rock the baby in silence and let the rocking motion soothe him as well. All he can do is remain calm and let things process in the back of his mind in their due time. All he can do is keep breathing and moving mindfully. All he can do is keep moving forward.

He has kept his DAMN MOUTH SHUT this whole time out of consideration for Trunks and a desire to keep the atmosphere calm and balanced. But, yknow, now that Trunks is opening up to him about his stress - Goten will go on ahead and share his.

Trunks says that he feels bad for making this Goten's problem, and to that, Goten has two insights:

1.) Stop calling it a problem! There are no problems, no mistakes, no failures; just what you do and don't and how you feel about it. Shifting around blame and derisive declarations unto the abstract concept of the "situation" e.g. THE PRESENT REALITY removes yourself from your much-needed presence and involvement. It takes away what you can DO about it, now.

2.) Okay Well if you feel bad for making this my problem then maybe you should consider returning all the hugs and kissies and pets I've given you and all the DINNERS I've cooked for you. Maybe *I* need to be soothed and rocked and kissed and pet in order to deal with what I'M going through. I can't keep being a mother to YOU AND your child. It's not MY FAULT that I wasn't there to make you use a CONDOM, Trunks!! I'M SORRY THAT YOU DIDN'T LEARN FROM THE CAUTIONARY TALE OF YOUR OWN CONCEPTION, TRUNKS!!!

Now that we're a few months in, it's time to say that - this really isn't what either of them ever meant to ask out of the other. They have always been each other's go-to for senseless, reckless, and wild thrills. They've given each other intellectual stimulation and emotional mediation, sure, but their default state is HEY DUDE CHECK OUT HOW HARD I CAN PEE. This whole situation wasn't necessarily in the cards for them. This isn't how they love each other!

But, they can both come to accept that This Is Just How It Is. I think that they can both be strong enough to adapt.

And, with this out of the way, they can start working more as a team. Turns out this shit doesn't HAVE to be miserable. Turns out that when you're honest, your vitality and excitement for life returns. Trunks becomes more involved with his child. They involve their family members and receive help and share joys. Goten is freed up to be able to connect with friends and ladyfriends again, and Trunks becomes more realistic about what he wants out of his life.

It's fine. Not a big deal.

End post.

Everybody stay graceful and lovely <3 Thank you for reading my post

[gumnut-logic]

Óen (Part 6)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Still writing this behemoth bit by bit. This time both Scott and Hiccup fought me tooth and nail.

Many thanks to the wonderful @onereyofstarlight and @idontknowreallywhy for all the encouragement and support.

I hope you enjoy this bit.

-o-o-o-

“My father was Flaith O’Treasaigh, back in our homeland. He was an adventurer, and explorer. He travelled young, crossing seas and Briton to visit the continent and came back with stories and tradings. He created routes for wares rarely seen and extolled our craftsmen to those afar. Our land grew rich with his connections and the Flaithri, our Seanathair was proud.” Scott drew in a breath. “However, having travelled the east, my father was forever staring off to the west. He wished to find what lay beyond the horizon.”

He saw understanding in the young man’s eyes.

“I see you share something with my father. Was exploration the reason why we had to rescue you from the Great Ice Sea?”

Hiccup froze just a moment before nodding.

So, a half truth, then.

Scott let it pass.

“The Flaithri gave my father permission to take a small fleet of ships out as far as they dared into the West Ocean to see what they could find.”

“Óen found my father in a storm. Just like we did you, and fished him out of the water. He returned him to land.” Scott paused. “But on the wrong side of the Ocean.”

The young Viking blinked. “Your father crossed the West Ocean?”

“He did. And that is where Óen is from.”

Hiccup’s eyes widened. “Are there other night furies there?”

Scott held up a hand. “The journey across the ocean is long and always deadly. It is too far for a lone dragon.”

“But there has to be a way!”

Toothless warbled a query and outside Óen let off a roar.

Beside Scott, John flinched.

Scott straightened his shoulders. “It cannot be done. There are no night furies over the ocean.” He felt the lie in his bones.

Hiccup’s lips thinned.

“Now, I believe you have a tale to tell. It is obvious challenges have befallen both of you. How do you two come to be together?”

The young Viking was a stubborn one. Scott could see thoughts spinning behind those green eyes and no doubt, the truths he would tell would be as halved as those Scott had shared.

“I, too, am son of a Chief. Our village has been fighting a war with the dragons for generations.”

Scott sat ever so still, the tension in his frame tight.

“I shot Toothless out of the sky. I am the reason he is ‘injured’. But don’t worry, he got me back.” The boy’s false foot clunked on the stone floor beneath as he shifted and began to absently stroke his dragon’s head. “We ended the war by saving the dragons from the Green Death, a giant parasitic dragon capable of controlling their actions. Now we live in peace with the dragons.” He looked Scott square in the eye. “They are our friends.”

“I can see that.”

“Toothless is well cared for. I can vouch for that.” Virgil spoke up. As usual his brother had been sitting there quietly watching, only speaking to intervene when Scott became a little too intense.

He was far too much like their Máthair Chriona.

Too much like their mother, as well.

“John?”

His slim brother was silent a moment. “Cóic agrees. Toothless confirms the situation and vouches for his ‘toothpick’.”

Hiccup’s eyes widened and Toothless laughed at his rider.

-o-o-o-

There was so much to unpack here. For not the first time in his life, Hiccup wished his father was with him. Stoick knew politics and diplomacy. Often he knew it with as big an axe as he could find, but that was because he dealt with Vikings.

These people were definitely not Vikings.

He was baffled by how much he didn’t know about them.

Their chief, their ‘Flaithri’, seemed kind and good, but those eyes spoke of seeing much that was unkind. They spoke of a homeland as if it was far away. And if so, why were they here and why did they leave?

And John, the red-haired brother who wore no beard, yet wore his hair long as if attempting to hide scars that could not be hidden as easily as everything else about him. The mysterious Cóic and how did either of them know what Toothless was thinking?

The tantalising information of where Óen had come from. It explained so much. If night furies were from across the ocean, then that explained why there were no others here.

He glanced at Toothless. Toothpick, huh. Green eyes gleamed at him, dragon humour as cutting as always. There would be much to say about that later. But right now…if night furies were from across the West Ocean, then how had Toothless made it here?

Hiccup almost feared the answer to that question. What had his friend suffered before they had met?

What if he needed to travel back over the ocean?

So many questions not answered. These people seemed good, but Hiccup did not dare expose Berk to an unknown people. He knew that much about politics, at least.

But at the same time, he felt there were answers he needed. So diplomacy it was until he could know them better and decide if he could trust them.

And convince them, he could be trusted with whatever it was they were hiding.

-o-o-o-

TBC

[chaotickasugaicrows]

I (Smol) has been unbelievably busy but I wrote this little thing (a bit rough) I'd like to share. It's for the Avatar AU.

Here's the Fire Nation lore. (just in case)

First, a little note. In Mugen Train, there is a young man with Tuberculosis that is meant to crush Tanjirō’s spiritual core. However, he is shocked by the kindness shown to him by the little sun spirits, the gentleness within Tanjirō’s soul. I’ve named him Yuzuru which depending on the kanji used (if my research wasn’t wrong) can mean modesty/humility or knot/bind and string/chord. I think that fits.

Yuzuru is a soldier in the fire nation, stationed at an important camp in another nation. He’s just a guard, has some talent in using a bow but no bending to speak of. His main job is to guard tents of important high ranking people. It’s boring but it isn’t all that dangerous so his mother is happy. Honestly, he didn’t care to be on the front lines or anything, unlike one of his frequent partner guards who’s just itching to fight but too respectful to complain. Yuzuru doesn’t understand her. The pay isn’t good enough to die and then if he’s dead what good does the money do (unless there’s a family or someone to support but he knows she doesn’t have that.)

So, he stands outside tents or gets watch duty on the tower. Ugh, the tower sucks. It’s cold and dark and way too easy to hallucinate things in the silence. Still, his job isn’t really eventful. Sometimes he catches bits and pieces of the meetings in the tents. Generals and commanders and strategists discussing the state of the troops, where the front lines are, timelines, and all that. He doesn’t ask questions and keeps silent about anything he hears. One man stands out to him. They call him General Kokushibo. That's not his actual name but no one addresses him as General Tsugukuni. Yuzuru doesn't know how he got the second name but it doesn’t matter. If the Fire Lord is represented by the Sun, then his right hand general is the Moon. Just because you can’t see him doesn’t mean he isn’t already after you. The Dragon of the West is another moniker. He’s terrifying because he earned his power and reputation honestly. No one would dare say he wasn’t a force to be reckoned with on the battlefield and there was extra respect among the soldiers because he didn’t shy away from the front lines. Lately, however, he’d been taking more breaks. Traveling back to the capital more often. Not many knew why but there were rumors. Of course there were rumors. So imagine Yuzuru’s surprise when he’s put on guard duty for a tent as usual and General Kokushibu walks out followed by a twelve year old boy. That’s right. A fucking child with red hair in a ponytail not dissimilar to the General. The kid is wearing a smaller version of a standard uniform. He didn’t know they made them in that size. This is the first time Yuzuru has serious questions and doesn't know if he’ll be able to restrain himself. But it’s not over. Almost as soon as the kid passes him, another kid emerges from the tent. An 11 year old girl in the same downsized uniform and with her black hair in a ponytail. He isn’t allowed to ask questions. Yuzuru repeats that mantra in his head and does his best to keep his mouth shut and ears open. Yuzuru sees them a few more times over the next week. Neither of them seem happy to be there but they’re professional. The serious looks on their face don’t belong to kids their age. He hears all sorts of rumors (people tend to forget he’s standing there.) How the General takes them to strategy meetings where they act as silent shadows. How the girl took on a soldier in a spar and won. How the boy’s flames had a hint of blue. How they both stopped by the medicine tents to help out. People speculate how proud the General must be. To have such talented and dedicated children. He trains them and drills them. He’s harsh, they say. None of those people see the General leave his tent in the morning and sigh. None of them see the glimpses of worry in his eyes before he too banishes it in favor of the same blank mask he’s passed on to his kids. Yuzuru is just a guard. He doesn't get to ask questions. Much later, he’ll find out those two are General Kokushibo’s kids. It’s not long before they earn a similar moniker to their father, the Twin Tigers of the West. Sometimes together, sometimes not. Terrifyingly good fire benders and fighters. Still, Yuzuru will never forget the first time he saw them. In those uniforms, following their father. They didn’t pay him to ask questions, Yuzuru told himself not to ask questions. But if he could, if he could ask those kids just one question it’d have to be, “What do you like to do for fun?” And if he could ask his nation one question, his Fire Lord, it’d be “What honor is there in sending children to war?”

Anyway, as you can tell I have feelings about this AU. Yup the kids are Tanjirō and Nezuko. Kokushibu aka Michikatsu doesn't care for them at first but they grow on him, even though it takes him quite a while to realize just how much. I initially wrote this without having a specific character in mind but the guy from Mugen Train fit super well. Hope you liked it.

Here's the Fire Nation lore if you need a refresher or read this post first.

[cainluvr69]

Surely, We Can Make Miracles Chapter 19

Previous Chapter

Shylock: …nn… … …You are…?

Hwylryn: Hwylryn.

Shylock: …Are you a wizard…?

Hwylryn: Hehe… What do you think?

Lennox?: Hwylryn.

Hwylryn: Balthazar.

Shylock: …

Lennox?: Someone has destroyed the mermaids' jail. Go figure out what happened.

Hwylryn: Don't wanna.

Lennox?: You can't "not wanna".

Hwylryn: Balthazar. I've gotten rid of Gwawlyn's enemies.

Lennox?: The Northern twins, yes?

Hwylryn: Yep. Aren't I great?

Lennox?: Yes, if you actually took them down. I've yet to see their stones.

Hwylryn: They'll die. You know how effective dragon venom is. … I wonder if Gwawlyn would be happy with this. He liked those twins. They were strong, for wizards. They had the same face despite there being two of them, just like us, and that was fun…

Lennox?: Uh-huh, is that right. Hurry up and get moving. Kukuku… I see you've awoken, Shylock.

Hwylryn: Are you listening, Balthazar?

Shylock: Why not listen to what he has to say?

Lennox?: I'll listen later. Kukuku… I see you've awoken, Shylock.

Shylock: You're just trying to start the conversation over?

Hwylryn: Balthazar. I got rid of Gwawlyn's enemies, you know?

Lennox?: And so what?! I never even met that dragon in the first place.

Hwylryn: But… You remind me of him. You're violent, short-tempered, rude…

Lennox?: Hwylryn. You don't need to elaborate.

Hwylryn: Haha… Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I'm the one you resemble instead. Drifting down to the West because we couldn't keep living in the North.

Lennox?: … Shylock.

Shylock: Yes?

Lennox?: Wait for a while.

Shylock: Please, take your time.

Lennox?: …Hwylryn, what's wrong. What are you getting so sentimental about?

Hwylryn: A whole lot of things happened all at once. I thought I was going to encounter my most bitter foes, but instead I made a friend.

Lennox?: A friend?

Hwylryn: Yep. Tomorrow, we're going to line up early at that store together. We're going to get cake together…

Lennox?: You're going to get cake? At a time like this…?

Hwylryn: We're going to get torta di cocco. I gave you some too, didn't I?

Lennox?: You did, yes…

Hwylryn: Wasn't it good?

Lennox?: I guess.

Hwylryn: I'm going to be lining up with Akira tomorrow to get more.

Shylock: Akira…?

Hwylryn: You know them?

Shylock: Do you perhaps mean the Sage?

Hwylryn: That's right, they did say something about being the Sage. I made friends with Akira.

Shylock: So you're a friend of the Sage… …Could you tell me what your relationship with Balthazar is?

Lennox?: That doesn't concern you.

Hwylryn: We're old friends. Well, I think we're friends…

Lennox?: Cease this useless prattle!

Hwylryn: …I won't talk about that. I just got intrigued by him, so I decided to help him out. Balthazar told me about you, Shylock. Back before Adams Island sank.

Shylock: … Thank you, Hwylryn.

Hwylryn: You're very welcome.

Shylock: …Balthazar.

Lennox?: …What.

Shylock: Did you not turn to stone when Adams Island sank?

Lennox?: …

Shylock: How did you survive? What have you been doing all this time? Were you lurking here in the ocean depths this whole time?

Lennox?: …That doesn't concern you.

Shylock: This is how you've been planning on sweeping me off my feet?

Hwylryn: He just went and did that without talking to me about it first. He doesn't really care about my…

Lennox?: Silence, Hwylryn!

Hwylryn: … Whatever.

Lennox?: Wait! I didn't mean to offend you! There's still something I need you to do! Hwylryn…! …He's gone… What was he going to say I don't care about?

Shylock: Well, you certainly aren't considering his feelings, for one.

Lennox?: Hmph… And what do you think you know about him? You haven't even realized what he truly is.

Shylock: I know more about him than you do, at least.

Lennox?: You know what he is?

Shylock: I couldn't care less about that. I'm talking about his heart.

Lennox?: His heart?

Shylock: He told you that he's taken down his brother's foes, and he told you that you resemble that same brother. He thinks of you as a stand-in for his brother, Balthazar. That was why he wanted you to say something about how he'd taken down his enemies.

Lennox?: Did you read his mind?

Shylock: I don't need to do something like that to know what he wants.

Lennox?: Have you read my mind as well?

Shylock: Oh, yes.

Lennox?: …

Shylock: …

Lennox?: Then tell me. Tell me what I'm thinking about right now.

Shylock: I will not.

Lennox?: Why not? Do you have no confidence?

Shylock: Balthazar. In the North those who are strong are victorious, while those who are weak are not, yes? But that's not how it works in the West. The West is a country of desires. The one who desires is the one who loses. And you desire me. You want me to surrender myself to you, to be helpless before you, but the very moment you began to want me… Was the moment that you lost. After all, whether I give you what you want or not is all up to me.

Lennox?: … And yet I could turn you to stone here and now. I can make you experience enough fear and pain you'll beg me to turn you to stone! Do you want that, Shylock?

Shylock: Feel free to give me whatever you like. Though I imagine it'll bore me to sleep.

Lennox?: You're bluffing…

Shylock: Oh, my. This is neither a bluff nor an act. You see, I've found my heart set aflame recently.

Lennox?: …tsk. <Mare Praeda>!

✦✧☾✧✦

Mitile: Nero! The torta di cocco shopkeeper is coming here soon! He said he'll make torta di cocco for us with the castle kitchen!

Nero: That's great to hear! I'll have t' go see him later.

Riquet: Nero. Claudia wants to talk to you.

Claudia: I'm so sorry. No matter what I say, Dianne refuses to leave her office… You have something very important to ask of her, and yet she's not conducting herself the way a lord should. Please, let me apologize on her behalf. Is there anything that I could do to help you instead?

Nero: Well, I guess y'can talk with me so we can try to get the people 'round the castle to chill out a little. Why's the new lord refusin' to come out of her room? An' why's she hidin' stuff from us, an' why's she trashin' the castle magitech, an' what's up with her edict with the wizards' bazaar…

Claudia: The reason she won't come out of her office is because she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know how to deal with what's happening, but once she steps foot out of that room, she'll be expected to deal with it. And so, she's blocked herself inside.

Mitile: But why? If she doesn't know what to do, she should try talking to people to figure it out…

Riquet: Are the other people in the castle treating her coldly?

Claudia: Oh, certainly not. They've all been working here since she was little.

Nero: Right, one of 'em said somethin'. Somethin' about Dianne bein' a crybaby…

Claudia: Dianne's always been a darling little angel ever since she was a child. Everyone adored her. And she had a tendency to burst into tears when faced with just about anything. She'd cry at hearing compassionate stories, when thinking about her studies, or even halfway through introducing herself. Once, when the previous King's cousin, Lord Antonio, visited us here, she burst into tears in the middle of her introduction. Everyone around her went white as a sheet. They were dead certain he was going ask if she'd never learned any discipline, or if no one's ever scolded her before. But Lord Antonio simply said, "What a darling girl she is," and wiped her tears… And he forgave her, just like that.

Nero: That ol' man's got some good in him, huh.

Claudia: Huh?

Nero: Oh, yeah, I know the guy too.

Claudia: Ah, I see. My apologies for speaking so self-centeredly…

Nero: Nah, don't worry about it. Keep talkin'.

Mitile: (I can't believe Nero's calling someone related to the old king "that ol' man"…)

Claudia: That event went from being just a funny story to tell at gatherings all the way to being something to boast about. After all, someone as illustrious as Lord Antonio himself had pardoned our youngest child's adorable tears. My sister wasn't the only one who was so happy about it that she went spreading the story everywhere she went. But it wasn't an incident Dianne herself was proud of. She did her very best to not cry. She didn't want to be called a crybaby anymore.

Mitile: I really understand how she felt…

Riquet: Did you used to be a crybaby too, Mitile?

Mitile: I… I wouldn't say I was that bad. Even though the grown-ups just smiled about it and didn't have any bad intentions behind what they said about me, it was still embarrassing.

Nero: Yeah, I've been there too…

Riquet: You have, Nero?

Nero: Yeah, well… No one had a lick of common sense or basic decency where I used t' be.

Mitile: What did they say?

Nero: I ain't repeatin' that in front of kids.

Claudia: Could you whisper it to me?

Nero: I definitely ain't sayin' it in front of a noblelady!

Claudia: Oh my, how terribly shy you are. Now then, where were we?

Riquet: We were talking about how Crybaby Dianne hated being called that.

Claudia: Ah, yes. Dianne had support during all this from my father--her grandfather--Lord Dionis, a man famous for his military exploits here in the West. He taught her swordsmanship, and he patiently showed her what a brave, wonderful human she could be. Thanks to his guidance, she became the gallant swordsman you see now. She barely resembles who she used to be. But… This is no longer an era where mastery of the sword can carry her; it's an era of magical technology. Someone said that to Dianne and my father. Even a fresh-faced rookie soldier could defeat the famous Commander Dionis with magical technology on their side.

Nero: Ahh… That musta been hard for the lil' missy to hear.

Mitile: (Now he's calling the local lord, Lady Dianne, "the lil' missy"…)

Riquet: But isn't magical technology very widespread in this country?

Nero: Not everyone feels the same about these kinds of things. 'Specially in the lil' miss lord's case, when it's got to do with what saved her heart, her grandpa's martial arts… It's no wonder she ended up feelin' so aggressive about magitech.

Claudia: That's right… Dianne began to hate even just the very sight of magical technology after that. She was so hostile towards it that she began putting her support behind the wizards without properly getting to know them first…

Riquet: So that's what happened. I'd heard that she was very friendly towards wizards, so I'd been looking forward to meeting her. But she didn't seem very friendly when I talked to her.

Claudia: I'm so sorry she let you down like that… She really doesn't have any prejudices against wizards, I assure you. But that description of her isn't an apt one. Still, to pretend to want to be friends despite having no real intention of it…is a terribly lonely thing.

Mitile: How can we get along better with Lady Dianne…? I thought I didn't really like her very much, even though I didn't know much about her until just now… But, after listening to what you've said about her…I don't think she's someone I can hate. I completely understand her frustration with being called a crybaby and with having her grandfather mocked like that. And the people in the castle and the island residents are the same too, aren't they? I do think that throwing out a big magical technology installation and making things hard for the head chef is going a little too far, but… If she could be honest with the people around her about what's making her miserable, or about what she needs help with…

Nero: Yeah, that ain't happenin'.

Mitile: Why not…?

Nero: 'Cause if she talks about what's hurtin' her or says she needs help, she's gonna go back to bein' Crybaby Dianne. And if that happens, she'll be lettin' everyone down. That's what she's thinkin, at least. Did I get that right, ma'am?

Claudia: Yes… I'm sure that's it.

Nero: No matter how people laughed at her or how bad it hurt, she worked as hard as her gramps did at the sword, and used it to change who she was. But y'can't heal wounds that reach all the way down to the soul so easily.

Riquet: …Like the wounds received from <the Great Calamity>?

Nero: Exactly. Mitile's completely right, is the thing. She should let herself get helped out if she's strugglin'. As long as there's people around her that are willin' to help, that is.

Mitile: …Nero…

Nero: But if they see how pathetic she really is, even just once, they'll be disappointed in her… If she says she can't do it alone, they'll say she's incompetent and look down on her. That's what she's been tryin' to avoid, but all she did was trap herself between a rock and a hard place. Even when she's surrounded by people, if she can't trust 'em, it's the same as havin' no one around at all.

Riquet: …

Nero: Even though she wants help so bad she could just explode. But she's so scared of the idea that if she actually says that to anyone, they're gonna laugh at her, mock her, and tell her it's all her fault anyways that she's not gonna say a thing about it.

Riquet: …Saying that you want help is… Something I did not realize could be so difficult for someone. (But I think Oz, Prince Arthur, and Cain are all like that, too…) (If that's true, then the times Oz has spoken with me are all very precious occasions…) (It's not something so simple that everyone can do it…) (It's something that's only possible because a special kind of trust has been formed…)

Nero: There's a lot of people like that. Hell, even I'm not immune to not wantin' to say it…

Mitile: I… I'd want you to ask me for help, Nero. There probably isn't anything I can do for you, but… I won't laugh at you or criticize you for it.

Nero: Thanks. I'm pretty fond of that part of all of you Southerners. It's the kinda thing that can save a guy…

Riquet: Me, too… I won't get upset with you.

Nero: Haha. Don't start tellin' lies, Riquet.

Riquet: It's not a lie! As long as I know the circumstances, I won't get upset with you. I don't want to hurt you by getting mad at you, Nero.

Nero: Hey, it's fine t'get mad. There are times where it's needed, even. Besides, ain't forgivin' people even when you're mad at 'em one of your specialties?

Riquet: I…suppose so…

Nero: Just forgive me as much as you can when that day comes, alright? Anyways… More than anythin', I need to go talk with her Lordship.

Riquet: You're planning on being the one who talks to her?

Nero: I mean… Well… Like… Someone's gotta do it… Even though I think I'd be pretty crap at it… But, well, I think I know what she's goin' through right now. She doesn't know what to do, but she does desperately want someone to help her out. Talkin' about it with one of her relatives or some brat's just gonna make her want to disappear even worse. So I figure I'll be good enough here… …I figure, but…my confidence is slippin' away… Riquet, how about you go instead?

Riquet: You need to make good on what you said you would, Nero. I think you're exactly right about both her and yourself.

Mitile: I'm sure your words will echo in her heart! You've got this!

Claudia: I think so as well! You can do this, Nero!

Nero: Thanks for cheerin' me on, guys… D'ya think y' could take me to her office, ma'am?

✦✧☾✧✦

Figaro: …Hah… …Lord White's presence… … (…I can't feel it anywhere…)

Painting Snow: …gh…

Figaro: …

Painting Snow: …uugh…

Figaro: Lord Snow… Lord Snow, can you hear me?!

Painting Snow: … …Fi…garo… …Where is…White…

Figaro: …

Painting Snow: I can't quite…grasp his presence… Where is he…

Figaro: …He's here. Lord White is right here. He's watching over you, Lord Snow. Don't worry.

Painting Snow: … …Heh…hehe… …Figaro, dear…

Figaro: …Yes…?

Painting Snow: You're such a kind child…

Figaro: … …Oz will be back with medicine before you know it. So stay strong and wait until he is.

Painting Snow: …Alright…

Figaro: You need not worry yourself… I am here, right at your side…

Painting Snow: …That's right… What a truly reassuring…thing to hear…

Figaro: …

Painting Snow: …

Figaro: Lord Snow… …Lord Snow…! … Haahh… He's still…moving a little…inside the frame… … …The moonlight is marking a path over the sea… …Please, don't take him…

✦✧☾✧✦

We split into two groups. The ones headed towards Shylock and Balthazar were… Murr, Rustica, and Chloe, as well as Arthur, Cain, and Rutile. And the ones who were going to be hunting for the cintamani stone were me, Oz, Faust, Shino, and Heathcliff.

Faust: It's highly likely that Lennox is going to be with Balthazar. If you see him…

Rutile: Don't worry, Faust. We won't hurt him.

Faust: Thank you.

Faust was obviously worried about Lennox. But if he joined the Western wizards in saving Shylock… That'd mean leaving the search for the cintamani stone on the shoulders of the younger wizards. And that worried him as well. But he had comrades he could rely on now. Oz was probably feeling something similar, since he was having to separate from Arthur.

Oz: …Are you sure you are prepared?

Arthur: You don't need to worry about us. We're setting out fully prepared to do what we need to do.

Murr: Even if you reel in the sea dragon, it's not like you can fight, Oz. On the other hand, their side would get a special bonus if that happens.

Chloe: A special bonus?

Murr: A powerful wizard's flesh and blood can be used as a medium to perform powerful magic. I don't think even Mithra could win against a sea dragon that's gotten a taste of Oz, if you catch my drift.

Arthur: Lord Oz, when your group locates the cintamani stone, please return to shore and take it to Lord Snow. Faust, it'd be a big help if you could join back up with us, though.

Faust: Got it. I know I'm starting to repeat myself, but please take care of Lennox.

Cain: Lennox is one of our precious comrades. We're not gonna hurt a hair on his head before we take care of Balthazar.

Oz: If both Shylock and Lennox are undamaged… Pursuing a battle against Balthazar and the dragon will be pointless.

Shino: Why.

Oz: For when the day breaks, I shall lay them low myself.

I bit my lip. Did that mean he was going to kill Hwylryn? My heart pounding, I decided to make my intentions clear to everyone one more time.

Akira: Before that happens, I'm going to try to negotiate with Hwylryn.

Faust: Right. Hopefully you'll find the dragon before you find Balthazar.

Murr: But if those negotiations go belly-up and Oz gets eaten, we'll have the single worst-case scenario on our hands. I didn't wanna say it in front of Arthur, but you need to be ready for that eventuality, Faust.

I saw Faust go a little green around the gills at that. He glanced away, hiding his expression. Arthur looked anxious, and Oz said nothing.

Murr: Soooo, time to get this show on the road!

Arthur: Master Sage! We'll definitely return with Shylock and Lennox in hand.

Akira: Yeah! Everyone, be careful!

Cain: You too, Akira! Oz! Be sure you look after them!

Oz: Yes.

And then we parted from one another, following the mermaids' guidance on two separate paths.

✦✧☾✧✦

Mermaid: …! …!

Cain: Looks like it's that way. The moonlight doesn't reach this deep, so I've kind of lost my sense of direction, but I think that's northwest… Is that where Adams Island used to be?

Murr: Yep, you got it! Your military command expertise is shining through!

Arthur: The sunken Adams Island… I never thought I'd see it.

Rutile: I wonder if Leno's there…

Arthur: The mermaids who'd been locked up claim to have seen Balthazar and Shylock there.

Rutile: I hope Leno is okay… Shylock, too……hm? Huh…? When did Chloe and Rustica get so far away…

Cain: Ack, sorry! I got too caught up in following the mermaids… I'll go back to help them right now!

Chloe: We're fiiiine! We can catch up! This way, Rustica. Good job, good job!

Rustica: Why thank you, Chloe.

Chloe: …Hey, Rustica. What did Murr mean by what he said earlier? About something he didn't want to talk about in front of Arthur, but that Faust needed to be ready for…

Rustica: Should it look like Lord Oz is going to turn to stone and thus fall into the dragon's hands, Faust should turn him to stone first so that we may partake of his strength ourselves. I believe that is what he meant.

Chloe: Wh…what…?! There's no way that's going to happen, right?!

Rustica: It won't. They were simply talking about what the proper way to go about things based on addition and subtraction would be. Simple arithmetic.

Chloe: Right… Faust wouldn't do something like that…

✦✧☾✧✦

Shino: (…It doesn't seem like very many people got what Murr was talking about.) (Faust can't attack Oz. His head's too full of Lennox for anything else right now…) (He can't even conceive of sacrificing someone else for his own gain in the first place.) (But I can.) (Sorry Oz, sorry Arthur, but if it's to protect Heath…) (I'll kill Oz before the dragon can if the Sage's negotiations fall through.) (…My hands are already dirty.) (There's no mission I'm not willing to carry out.)

Vespa: …! …!

Shino: …What is it.

Heathcliff: Shino! You started slowing down. Are you okay?

Shino: Sorry. I was spacing out.

Heathcliff: You can't go spacing out at a time like this.

Faust: Are you running low on magic?

Shino: I'm fine.

Akira: But you won't be able to breathe if you run out of magic…

Oz: Will you return to shore, Shino?

Shino: … There's no issue. Let's keep moving.

Next Chapter

[b3anieperson]

THE LETTER - An Epilouge To Fourth Wing - Part 1 - Part 2 -

Xaden's letter is marked with the same seal I've seen the last three years, a blue wax seal with a rising dragon. I snap open the seal, the wax breaking quietly.

Dear Sloane,

I'm so, so sorry.

My gaze shifts at the letter, sorry for what? As I pay attention to the paper, trying not to read ahead, the corner of one letter is torn, and slight dark spots appear on the paper, like tear stains.

Liam stands with Malek now.

My heart shatters, as I read.

We were attacked by Gryphons, while we were going to save a nearby village. Deigh died, and we didn't have long to say goodbye to Liam before we had to fight.

I am so sorry, I tried, he died in mine and Violet's arms- and so did Soleil.

I'm used to reading through the lines at this point, its how most words to me look. 'Gryphons" always the same, and yet, never Gryphons, Venin.

I barely remember Soleil, her mother was a lieutenant under my mother, and I maybe met her once- but Liam? He was my brother. I'm alone now, no family, no mom, no dad, no Liam. I continue reading, letting the tears spill onto the page as I try not to cry out in pain.

I wish I could be there, I'm leaving in a few days, as soon as we get back to Basgiath, we're currently waiting for Violet to wake up, we're in-

The next word is scribbled out, but I know what he means, they're in Aretia. Letting the one who lived- Violet Sorrengail- heal, while Liam is in a burn pit with his dragon and Soleil.

I don't bother reading the rest, I throw the letter across my bed and reach for Garrick's. This one is sealed with brown wax- I rip it open, and worry my lip as more tears fall.

Sloane,

I wish I could bring you good news.

Please don't be stupid- do something stupid more importantly.

I'll give you what the report says, but I'm sure you've already read Xaden's letter, or Eya's.

Included in his letter is his own personal report, since there were no scribes to write it down.

Name: Garrick Tavis

Rank: Third Year Flame Section Leader, Fourth Wing

Location: Athbyne

Beyond Wards Y/N: Yes.

Commanding Officer: Xaden Riorson

Riders Available: Masen Sandborne, Eya Wrenwrought, Garrick Tavis, Liam Mairi, Soleil Telery, Violet Sorrengail, Ciaran Jun, Bodhi Durran, Imogen Cardulo

Incident Report: June 24, 633 AU

War Games 633 of Basgiath War College, Gaurd and Riot of Wing Leader Xaden Riorson was set down at a lake 20 minutes out from Athbyne.

10 minutes in on break a scream was heard from the west side of the lake, in the woods.

A drift of Six Gryphons attacked and killed Deighabron-- a Red Daggertail belonging to Liam Mairi, saving Violet Sorrengail from impailment.

Soleil and Fuilinstrogh were killed in action by suprise attack.

In action Violet Sorrengail and Xaden Riorson took out two Gryphons as well as rider. Violet was then impailed by poisoned dagger (awaiting condition updates), and incapacitated.

Eya Wrenwrought, Imogen Cardulo and Bodhi Durran fought the remaining Gryphons.

-INCIDENT END-

Injuries sustained:

Bodhi Durran: Broken Arm

Garrick Tavis: Six Inch Cut from Temple to Jaw

Eya Wrenwrought: Twisted Ankle

Violet Sorrengail: Stab Wound (poison)

Imogen Cardulo: Several Fleshed and Treated Knife wounds, (unpoisoned)

Liam Mairi: Deceased

Soleil Telery: Deceased

I don't bother to read the rest of the report. I throw it aside and ravage through Imogen and Eya's letters. All I can focus on is that he died for Violet, saved her, and she still got stabbed and might even die. He died for fucking nothing.

My heart pounds in my chest as I rip at a rouge peice of paper. Tears fall down my cheeks, and make my face sticky with grief.

When Helena walks in, towel wrapped around her head, I'm hugging myself, looking at my sheets instead of the letters. Her face drops as she sits next to me, an arm wrapped lightly around my shoulder as she consoles quietly.

When I think I've cried out every tear that ever existed in my body. Helena asks me quietly what's wrong.

"H-he's gone." I whimper out, my voice breaking.

"Fuck," I hear from another voice, I glance up. Fynn stands there, against my bedpost, and his hair is slicked back with sweat.

"Liam?" Helena asks quietly and Fynn and I nod simultaneously. A gasp escapes her mouth, and she tries not to shudder.

When Emek sticks his head in through door, Fynn shakes his head and waves him out.

"I'm sorry Sloane." Fynn whispers, but I begin to shut everything out. I haven't done this since- since I watched my mother be incinerated- six years ago.

My heart sits in the bottom of my stomach, and I find myself shrugging away from Helena's touch.

When others walk in, they sit adjacent to the bed, or like Fynn; against the bedpost. They ask hushed questions, "What happened?", "Why is Sloane-", "Is she going-". I shut my eyes closed, and just scream.

The room quiets. Nobody speaks. No one moves, then quietly, a hand clasps my shoulder. "Out." He whispers.

I don't bother looking up at Emek, I know it's him. Everyone leaves, and I slowly collapse in on myself, crying again. He shushes quietly, sitting down on the bed, running his fingers through my hair.

His hand passes in front of my vision, and he picks up a letter. He let's out a breath, and sets it down, no doubt reading what Eya had wrote.

Dear Sloane,

We lost Liam two days ago.

We were in a battle at Resson.

I'm not going to sugarcoat this, you know that's not my thing, and I guarantee you've read Xaden's letter.

You know what took him out. We tried, I couldn't get there in time. I will see you at Parapet. I'll be on the other side, you know I will be.

Just remember: You are strong, and you will get through this, you have gotten through worse, and you are amazing.

I love you kid.

-Eya Wrenwrought, Second Wing, Claw Section, Second Squad.

Emek takes my hand, "I know." I shake my head, a few tears falling.

"Y-you don't." I whisper, even though I know his older sister fell at Gauntlet two years ago. "Emma fell at Gauntlet. Liam was eviscerated with his fucking dragon. Emma died before her threshing. Liam did not."

Emek sighs. "Mom died by Venin, if you remember." He says, not trying to guilt-trip me, but informing. Pain flares in the back of my mind, a headache swirling. I fall back on Emek, and he catches me.

"I- I'm sorry." I let out.

"Don't be, we all know the sacrifices that are made."

And I know, from all experiences, it never gets better.

"I'm sorry Sloane."

[paragonrobits]

It is after the coming of Sozin's comet, after the coronation of Fire Lord Zuko, and Iroh comes to the Fire Nation. To make amends, he thinks, at least at first.

His gaze is half-lidded and heavy, as he gazes towards the building where Azula will live for several years. He does not know it them, though he suspected, that it would be a long process. Before one can heal, one must unlearn; one must learn that you were wrong, that your entire family carried debt and dripped with the blood of an entire world. That what you thought was privilege was a lie.

It would not be an easy process. Iroh had been gentle, by the family's standards, and spiritual in his own way. Learning the truth of the world had still been a brutal and agonizing process, scouring him and clawing his illusions one bloody shred at a time.

For Azula, so freely given over to Ozai's bloody minded (and, dare say, childishly simple) world view, it would likely be far harder.

This was not something he could do for her. He considered it, all the same.

He judged the walk to the building; he rehearsed what he would say to those that watched over those being cared for there...

What, then, would he say to Azula? His niece, his foe not so long ago? A self-made mirror to Ozai's vanity and illusion of power?

What would she respond to? What would help her understand?

Some small part of him, hardened and stern, asked if there would be anything he could possibly say that she would listen to.

He stared, for a while, into the distance.

He breathed in.

Let it go.

He breathed out; his breath was ashes, and that too was soon gone.

Zuko stood beside him, his face solemn. He suspected that this might well be the last time his uncle stood upon the land of his ancestors, for a very long time.

He understood the way his uncle's mind worked, and eventually Zuko asked, "Do you think there was anything you could have done for her? When we were younger, I mean."

Iroh's expression turned contemplative. He had thought it through many times; not in the fashion of someone agonizing over mistakes of the past, but calmly and clinically examining decisions, seeing where there were mistakes, studying the strategies he could have taken.

Was there ever a time when Azula would have thought him worth listening to?

Had there ever been a point when his niece would have heard anything he had to say and not immediately dismissed it? Was there a time when she hadn't seemingly viewed the world exclusively in terms of a competition between her father (who, by extension, was the only side she care for) and the rest of the world?

Time, then, to take it seriously and be honest. Self-flaggelation was a fool's errand. Self pity was not conducive, no matter how much it felt better to blame yourself for everything.

"I don't know," spoke the Dragon of the West. His gaze did not wet, and he did not have tears for this particular moment. A part of him that was genuinely sentimental for the idea that there could be the kind of closeness other families had, that wished for a world in which Azula and him could exchange anything other than the perpetual cycle of violence and rivalry, closed itself and wept.

Iroh did not. Their family was not one that survived with that kind of sentimentality. She had tried to kill him; he would have killed her without hesitation or any remorse other than the regret at taking a life. But it would have been something he would have done because there was need of it; she had made herself into her father's weapon, just as he himself had done before her.

He wondered if, perhaps, Azula would take the same journey he had, find her own steps to a similar destination.

"I suppose I may never know. But I do know that if there was ever a time she would have listened to anything I had to say, or let me help her in any way, I cannot see where it was."

Zuko's expression was solemn. Iroh supposed he was thinking of all those years on the sea, of all the years Iroh had kept Zuko's attention and interest, and in all that time that Iroh still had no luck in reaching out to him.

Zuko had to find those lessons for himself, and now if Azula was even willing to learn those same lessons, she would also have to do it on her own.

Iroh turned away.

It did little good to weep on what might have been, or over battles you never had a change to fight at all.