#he knows he's in the matrix although he doesn't know all the rules just the ones he can break

[buniculus]

i like that edmund can see the fourth wall i know it's a joke but no it's not i think oracles should be a little Extra Crazy and i like the idea of him knowing the dice rolls when he uses his fortune/misfortune.

[tunashei]

First Impressions of Animorphs!

I'm listening to the Animorphs series while I work, through Animorphs Aloud - a fan made reading of the series. Here are my first impressions/random thoughts about them! Spoilers below if you haven't read them.

Book 12.5: The Andalite Chronicles (Part 3)

Well this part is titled 'an alien dies' and we just lost all the oxygen in the airlock sooo short chapter I guess :D

This might be out of the blue but I want to know more about the real Jahar. What is she like. How's she doing

But he LIVED

Appreciate that, although they do a lot of dumb stuff in Animorphs, they also make smart and logical decisions often. Working together is the only option here, I like that they acknowledge that and don't just start fighting for no good reason

Aaaand then Elfangor just tells the Visser how the time matrix works. You dummy

I wonder why Andalites live in scoops. Seems to be a mostly outdoor area, would it being in a hole not make it prone to flooding? I guess it would keep wind out

Ooooh they've glitched the matrix. The descriptions of the sky being panels of various planets sounds exactly like a texture glitch in a videogame. They've merged all their homeworlds together...that's going to be instant chaos. Andalites charging into Yeerk territory to finish the war while humans stand to the side screaming AAAAA ALIENS

The Andalite method of eating really amuses me. I mean it makes sense! We crush food with our teeth, they crush it with hooves. Though we have to then digest it and they seem to be able to instantly get the nutrients

Ah seems they've created an entirely new reality, not actually merged their real homeworlds. Is this universe they're in the only universe now? Can you just make whole new universes with the Time Matrix...it's like a developer program

WHEEL CREATURES. Didn't do it as well as Mulefa, but still neat

Heh, humans are pretty good at throwing stuff. It's one of our special skills

So Mortrons are like hydras, if you split them in half they form two separate Mortrons, split them in half and you have four. What do you reckon the limit is? Visser Three goes up to sixty four but like...where are they getting the mass from?

Oh my god Loren is mounting the man. That's GOTTA be taboo right?? Be the equivalent of going up to a human, wrapping your arms around them and spooning them from behind. Welp Elfangor doesn't seem to mind. Ride em' cowgirl

And now he's literally munching carpet

...just had a thought. How is Elfangor fitting in this house? It's not a big one, and he manages to climb the stairs. You could not fit a horse in a house surely? Are American houses that big? But he has to be big enough for a human to ride with no problems. Hm

Time Matrix DID create a whole new universe, powered off imagination. I want one. So bad

They've been feeding the humans grass oml 😭

If the food is real, the all-acne-no-eyes guy is also real. Sad for him

A bigmac meal for $4.00/£3.00...TAKE ME BACK

This might not actually be the case for Andalites, but I wonder how a species would evolve if it needed lots of space for each individual. Humans can go real compact with our needs, we can cram so many of us into small spaces and get by (although we tend to go slightly insane when really cramped)

Now he's into being ridden. Boooooooi

...why is time accelerating towards the middle though

aaaaaaa having toenails long enough to stick out of shoes sounds PAINFUL I legit winced at this. Also hair doesn't work like that it has a maximum length

Loren: I'll hit a motherfucker with ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKER

Elfangor: That's Hot

Very climactic final battle and then the Visser just walks away. Bye dude!

🤨

Most powerful weapon in the galaxy and Elfangor just buries it in the woods. Love it

I like that he got his yellow mustang when he became human

The rules of this timeline Loren has made are pretty confusing. It had to link with the previous kidnapping and acquiring Time Matrix events so the was continuity, but also you can alter it so everyone believes she was always 18, and now this Ellimist is saying Elfangor's brother doesn't exist in this timeline? Why wouldn't he?

Dick move Ellimist. But also, this kid has Elfangor as a dad, but Elfangor's human morph is made up of several other humans blended together. So the kid actually has like...12 dads or something

WAIT IS ELFANGOR TOBIAS'S DAD???

Kind of surprising the Time Matrix didn't just get dug up considering it's now in a construction site

Damn he totally is Tobias's dad. Didn't see that coming

Loren got so fucked over by this whole thing they didn't even ask her if she would be ok with 'fixing' the timeline. Just abandoned and memories erased but I guess not completely because it drove her crazy. Sad

Well. That was a wild one! The books that explore aliens are my favourite and this one was a real stunner, I'm glad we got to meet Elfangor properly and get to know him - makes his death hit way harder now :( Cool that Tobias is technically part alien, and Ax's nephew. Lot of twists and turns in this one I had no idea where they were going to take it. #Justice for Alloran

[flyin-shark]

"Cishet probably". The words of a man who is yet to learn that gender is a circus and clowns can be hot.

Or what I mean is more like.... That's really interesting in a sense, as soneone who is ambiguous/not caring on all levels, I really wanna study the anatomy of the cishet experience. I can't figure it out. Is it like. If you see a person your ability to be attracted to them depends on your current knowledge of their gender? So you could see a person and assume they are a woman, so then you are into them, but then they might turn out not to identify as a woman, and that is a turn-off?

And the other way around, maybe you meet someone and assume they're a guy so it doesn't enter your mind that they could be hot, but then you learn that they are a woman, and then it becomes an option?

I'm really not trying to be offensive so I'm so sorry if I am. I'm just super curious, as a person who was never able to conceptualize gender in myself or others very well. I find attraction complicated as is, and imagining adding the matrix of gender into it is like... Galaxy brain woah h o w ?

Uh. Anyways, good vibes.

(Came to think of it cuz you say you're a top/into bottoms. And like certainly the top/bottom dichotomy transcends gender, but at the same time, I wonder what the "communication" is in there in a cishet context? Does it mean "I don't like getting penetrated by a partner", or is it more about "top energy". And if yes, what is "top energy" in a cishet context?

I really hope I'm not coming across as rude, I'm literally just super curious about people who ID as cishet, so when I run into someone who seems approachable I turn into 12 questions with ....

Also this also is related to the fact that I'm like a dude but in a girl way you feel? Like most people attracted to me are also attached to gnc women, but also if you need to call me 'her' to get off, we probably won't vibe, and as a general rule I do avoid having sex with cishet guys bc if their attraction is somehow contingent on internal misgendering of me, it's awkward. But I'm trying to figure out how that works. )

Sorry I'll stop asking now. I'll get my ND ass under control.

Yes to your first three questions.

So I call myself cishet because first I’m fairly sure that I’m not trans. I feel like a man, whatever that means. I get what I think is a sense of euphoria from doing certain “masculine” things (wearing suits, fixing things, etc.). I don’t like the idea of me wearing a skirt of other typically feminine clothing. I don’t like when people use feminine versions of my name and pronouns that aren’t he/him for me. In all aspects I can think of I’m a man.

As for the hetero part I know I like women. I always have as far as I can remember. I’ve never had attraction to men. Although in the past few years with learning about trans and nb people I’ve had to think more about it. I used to be transphobic in the sense that while I respected pronouns and names I wouldn’t accept that people were their something other than their assigned gender. After learning about the science behind sex and the social dynamics of gender I now fully accept trans and enby peeps. But that means reconsidering what I like about women and don’t like about men.

I’ve seen femboys that I’ve mistaken for women and been attracted to them. After finding out they were boys i was confused but I just wrote it off and didn’t think about it. I saw a lot of enbies that looked more masc or fem and I was attracted to them if I thought they were afab. But then I saw some enbies that were really androgynous and was really confused again. I learned that you can’t tell if someone is a man or woman or other just by looking at them. It’s possible I’m just attracted to femininity and not women specifically. But also women with muscles are hot.

Answering your question about tops and bottoms. After spending time in queer spaces I realized just how boring most cishet relationships are both romantically and sexually. The top, dom, and giver roles, etc are all dumped on the man while the bottom, sub, and receiver roles are all given to the woman. I think most cishets don’t even differentiate between the roles.

My brain still doesn’t comprehend what it’s like to be “a dude in a girl way” or anything similar to that. Like I respect you as a person I just don’t understand how that works. It seems like a contradiction at first but I know boy and girl aren’t opposites.

Sorry for taking so long to respond to this but I wanted to give you some good answers.

[emptyofdust]

Tag Game - First 10 Lines

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and  tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and  share anyway.

hi @picnokinesis and thanks for the tag! let's pretend it hasn't been an entire month since you tagged me, and that i didn't spend a whole 15 minutes trying to remember my password to this account before giving up and resetting it. sounds good? sounds good.

i don't exactly have 10 doctor who fics, i don't think? we'll see how far we get with the wips floating around my onenote, and if it's not 10, i'll pad it with other fics -- it'll be a guess the fandom sort of thing, fun for the whole family (although, if you do guess the fandom from one line, i'll be genuinely impressed). starting with the completed ones:

you're the one that i need, i'm the one that you loathe ; nebulously mid s12 thoschei one-shot

“I think it should be me who kills you.”

2. it makes me who i am (i burned it all but i'm doing fine) ; canon divergence where 13 thinks to dive into the matrix mid s12 and sort of uh. breaks her own mind, it's fine, she's alright. thoschei one-shot.

She stands alone, and watches the flames dance.

3. on the catfish and its adaptive capacity in adverse temporal conditions ; you guessed it, mid s12 thoschei one-shot. 13 pays a visit to O for ScienceTM. it doesn't go great.

This is arguably not the most brilliant plan the Doctor’s ever come up with.

and now for the wips. titles are temporary and, were i to finish any of these, would probably change 3-6 times before actually being posted

4. i've loved you for a hundred years (certainly fucking feels like it) ; human au spydoc one-shot that got away from me a bit and that i never ended up finishing.

There's a star in his kitchen.

5. the enemy of my enemy, and other cautionary tales ; i don't even know what this was going to be, but it was going to involve a team-up with Jack and the Master, and some shenanigans. maybe even some hijinks? hard to say.

"So," Jack says, wondering why the hell he's still standing here, "explain to me again why I should care?"

6. driving lessons ; a tentatively thasmin one-shot set between s12 and flux, exploring how yaz learnt to pilot the tardis as well as she has, aka 13 teaches her something instead of apologizing every time she behaves like a dick. might still finish this one, actually

"Want me to show you how to reset the chronion collector brackets?"

7. help is on the way ; a jack/13 one-shot set after once, upon time, because how could i not bring jack into the aftermath of whatever the hell happened in that episode

She holds it together for a remarkably long time, all things considered.

8. another night and i'll see you (another night and i'll be you) ; power of the doctor one-shot, exploring whatever the fuck happened with that doctor/master combination. got distracted from it, but honestly would like to go back to it at some point because seriously, the implications

He— she— they— are bleeding.

the other doctor who wips are not at a stage where they have opening lines, so bonus round!

9. a day in the life, and other team building exercises ; okay, this one's an easy fandom guess, but it's not about to be posted any time soon, so shouldn't give me away

"Warden," Camilla says, with all the neutrality only a lifetime can teach, "is that a knife?"

10. quick study ; teaching one's teammate to drive when one's teammate also happens to be an alien with a bit of a kleptomaniac streak

"This just seems so unnecessarily complicated."

and that's 10! this was very fun, thank you again for the tag! I don't really have many mutuals on this account, but if you see this and are interested, consider yourself tagged! i love reading these tag games

[astro-rain]

delicate; b.barnes

chapter three - “penny for your thoughts”

delicate masterlist

word count: 1.5k

synopsis: reader runs into a familiar face at the lake near her quarters in wakanda and they get to know each other a bit (kinda meet cute)

pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader

[A/N]: not my photo

The sunrise in Wakanda was one of the most marvelous things (Y/N) had ever seen. It was truly divine. Magnificent shades of burnt orange and gold bled through the boundless canvas of clouds. The sun, rich and saturated, was the epicenter of these vivacious gradients. It was almost as though Odin himself was painting the sky.

Her windows, encompassing the space of an entire wall, opened her room effortlessly. They led directly to the outskirts of a small lake that perfectly reflected the sunrise. It almost felt like a vacation. Or a dream, whichever came first.

She had slept wonderfully, but woke up early all the same. The beginning of her morning consisted entirely of sitting right outside her room staring at the ascending sun. She supposed she could've stayed there all day as Shuri told her they wouldn't start working until tomorrow; something about settling in and adjusting. Although she thoroughly enjoyed her quiet, warm morning, wasting the whole day cramped up near and inside her room would be a very poor choice.

There's so much here, I might as well enjoy my mini vacation.

She slipped on her shoes, closed the glass door, and made her way to the very lake she was admiring so dearly. She sat at the edge of the lake, letting the smooth sound of the flowing water fill the air around her. It was so quiet, secluded. She was alone; it was lovely. Tranquile even. Being by herself brought a strange sort of comfort, like she was safe and-

"Hello."

She turned around, still sitting. "Oh. Hi Jame- I mean... Bucky."

He smiled, and gave a ghost of a laugh. "Thanks."

"Did you need something? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine, it's good. I was just looking around. This place is beautiful."

"Tell me about it," she returned his smile. "I keep thinking like I'm on a vacation or something. It doesn't feel like I'm supposed to work tomorrow."

Bucky nodded his head in agreement. "If I was gonna be... fixed somewhere, I'm glad it's here."

"Yeah, no one's gonna bother us here. Except maybe Shuri when she shows you how much smarter she is than you."

"Kid's a genius," he chuckled. "I've only talked to her a bit and she's smarter than I'll ever be."

At this point he was still standing, his hands clasped politely in front of him. He was just standing next to (Y/N)’s sitting figure. It wasn't a problem until an awkward silence settled over them. She wasn't quite sure what to say.

She wasn't the best with people. She knew exactly how the brain worked and she knew how to analyze behavior, and when it came to her job she knew the right things to say at the right times. But her job has rules; if she's talking with someone, she's treating them. When doing so, there are specific sets of clinical terminology. There were guidelines to follow, scripts to recite. Talking to patients in a work setting was analytical and made sense. Talking to regular people was a bit difficult. There was so much grey area. Bucky was going to be a patient, but right then, in that moment, he was just another person.

"You can sit if you want," she offered, patting the spot next to her. "I feel weird, it seems like I'm making you stand."

He gingerly accepted such an offer. He sat next to her, but not too close. The respectful distance gave her comfort.

We both have our own space.

"Hey, can I say something?" he asked.

"Mhm."

"I just wanted to thank you, ya know, for coming all the way here. Steve told me about the whole situation - you and Sharon and everything. I'm just really grateful. You probably have a whole life of your own back home, but it means a lot that you came here to help out. I know it's not exactly easy."

Heartfelt. If she had to describe it in one word that's what it would be. It almost surprised her.

"Oh you don't have to thank me!" she sounded deflective. "It's my job. I'm just glad we have a chance to provide you with treatment after all the pain you've been through."

Was that too personal?

"I mean, after all this time, I think you're pretty deserving of a reprieve."

"Have you read my file?" he asked, a little quieter than before. He was staring intently at the lake in front of him.

(Y/N) rubbed the back of her neck. "Yeah, I did."

"Sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"That you had to read it. I know it's a lot."

He sounded guilty, like somehow what happened to him was his fault.

"That's alright," she said almost too quickly. "I've gone through plenty of abuse and trauma cases. To be fair, none of them are quite like yours, but I'm not in completely foreign waters here."

"Oh, I don't doubt it. I've heard you're more than highly qualified. It's just a lot of bad stuff."

"I can handle bad stuff," she replied, reassuringly. To her, it sounded more factual than reassuring. Unbeknownst to her, it gave Bucky some sort of comfort. Like he was in good hands.

Another awkward silence settled over them. Her eyes remained on the body of water in front of her; she wasn't sure what to say. Casual conversation was not her forte, and Bucky seemed rather shy himself. She felt responsible for any conversation that should take place, but to be fair, he wasn't talking either.

It was then when she subtly aimed her gaze towards him, getting a thorough impression of his features. He was, in all honesty, quite handsome. Objectively speaking of course. He was sharp features and soft edges at once, if you could consider that possible. And the bluest blue eyes she'd ever seen were luminescent in the direct sunlight. She reminded herself not to stare, and tore her line of vision away from the man next to her.

In lieu of this, she closed her eyes, leaned back on the palms of her hands, and relished in the warmth of the Wakandan sun. This lasted a few moments before she once again realized that not a word had been passed between them. She wondered what he was thinking about.

"Penny for your thoughts?" she asked softly.

"Hm?"

"You look pensive."

"'M just thinkin'"

"Well, that much I could tell," she snickered.

He flashed a bashful smile. "I'm just tryin' to grasp the fact that I'm actually here. Y'know, safe. Ready to be helped. It's been a while. I keep having to remind myself that it's real."

Makes sense. He probably thinks that any minute, this seemingly secure safe haven is going to be ripped out from under him. Like it was all a rouze and he'll have to return to pain and anguish.

"It's definitely real...well, last time I checked anyway. But who knows? Maybe we're in an alternate reality and any moment we'll see a woman in a red dress," she joked, trying to lighten his mood and simultaneously referencing The Matrix.

It worked. He laughed; a soft gentle chuckle, but a laugh all the same.

"Woman in a red dress?" he asked through a grin.

"Oh, you probably haven't seen The Matrix, have you?"

His face scrunched up in endearing confusion. "No...?"

She adamantly ignored when the word adorable entered her mind when she saw his expression. "It's a movie, a classic really. You'll have to see it at some point or I'll feel like an idiot for referencing it."

"Oh God," he shook his head, "I haven't seen a movie in... ages."

"I think that's a crime in and of itself. They've gotten infintely better than they were in the forties, I can promise you that."

"I got a lot to catch up on, don't I?"

"Maybe a little. But don't worry about it. I'll make you a list!"

"Man, didn't think I'd have homework," he quipped, a meek attempt at a joke.

It made her smile. There's some personality! She showed some of her own in return.

"Man, I didn't think I'd ever meet someone who doesn't like movies of all things. One of the best things ever created by mankind!"

He laughed and threw his hands up in mock surrender. "I never said that! I don't know if I deserve such slander."

What a wonderful laugh.

"Watch every movie on my list and I'll clear your name," she beamed.

He feigned annoyance. "Fine. You drive a hard bargain, Ms. (Y/L/N)."

"That's Dr. (Y/L/N), actually."

Before he could question whether or not he made a mistake, she continued. "I'm totally messing with you. (Y/N) is more than just fine. Dr. (Y/L/N) sounds too much like someone's pretending that I'm my dad anyway."

"Okay then," he smiled, "(Y/N).”

[vespersposts]

As you like anons,

I wanted to ask you a somewhat personal question that you might not publish if it embarrasses you. Do you have a type of person that you always like in terms of physical appearance? What is he or she like in terms of love?

Hello Anon and welcome!

I'm not at all ashamed to give you this answer also because I'm taking the opportunity to inaugurate a new hashtag, so that should I receive personal questions again they will already be in order.

💌 What type do I like.

I love guys, I like girls a lot but there's never that particular spark on a chemistry/skin level that makes me feel that way.

💌 Do I have a type?

My sister would tell you I like jerks, but she and I are night and day. Speaking of physical appearance, I like those with unique features, especially if they are a mix of cultures and family trees from various continents, an actor I find definitely attractive is Keanu Reeves in 'the matrix', Evan Evagora is cute, I also really like Giannis (the NBA player), Lebron James, models like  Park Sung Jin .

In short, very particular men.

As fictional characters, besides Aomine, I really like Tarō Kabakura from Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku (a bit of a grown-up Aomine), although my first 2d crush was Akira Sendoh from the Slam Dunk comics.

💌 How am I as a partner?

Uhm.

I'm very demanding, but zero fuss given.

I am very committed and I demand the same level of commitment.

This is a characteristic that has generated problems in the past, because some people may criticize this attitude, reading it as indifference. I believe that every couple should have an extremely private dimension that should be protected and experienced only by the two who are part of it. I listen to everyone, but then I do my own thing. I'm supportive, I know what it's like in a long-distance relationship but if I feel unease, I'm ignored for confrontation and dialogue or my trust is betrayed I cut right away, because honestly I'm just fine on my own.

I don't like to claim my position, I'm not overclingy in public (i like smootches but we all know that sometimes is just a form od social display), and I'm not jealous at all, not because I think I'm better than someone else, but because it doesn't make sense to me, since no one belongs to anyone else and since I would never accept rules to make someone else "feel comfortable."

My partner doesn't have to ask permission do things, he must have his own life, so we can share experiences. And ofc, he doesn't have to feel he owe me anything.

Right now I am fine with my few but good friends around.

In the future, who knows.

💌That's quite all, I think.

Love always,

V.