#he kinda reminds me the story of the rich man who came up to jesus | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

alethiometry · 3 years ago

Note

Edward Kenway for character asks!

ooooooo okay i should open this with a disclaimer: i have not finished black flag yet (about 2/3 of the way through i think? i need to level up my ship so i can beat the next story mission lol) so everything i'm saying here is based on the game up to thatch's death, and everything we know about edward in ac 3: forsaken and the comics that came out a couple years ago.

First impression

oh boy... to be honest, one of the reasons it took me such a long time to get around to playing black flag (it was one of the first ps4 games i bought when i got my console in 2016, and i didn't start until about a month ago) was because i didn't really feel particularly strongly about edward's character design. i was vaguely interested in That One Pirate Assassin Game after having watched (and loved) black sails, but was afraid i would be let down; to me edward just looked like Some Dude, and i was still hung up on the black sails gang. to me, black sails and its characters were so genre/time period-defining that any other piece of pirate media just seemed lackluster in comparison.

i'd also heard a lot of praise for edward and for ac4 in general so i was aware that it was a very popular and well-received game. but since i mostly heard that from reddit (didn't join tumblr ac fandom until odyssey in 2018) i kind of discounted it, bc gamer reddit tastes are... questionable at best.

Impression now

I LOVE HIM!!! i always think i want stories about virtuous characters who believe in goodness and kindness and aren't motivated by gold or glory but aren't afraid to do what needs to be done to help others who can't help themselves. and sometimes that's true (coughratonhnhake:toncough). other times i end up clowning on myself because i realize that it's so much fun when said good/kind character has a rough and rugged exterior, and is motivated by personal gain (i think edward and kassandra are kinda kindred spirits across time and space in that regard, but maybe that's another rant for another time). sometimes you just want someone to be a little bit of an opportunistic bastard, and boy does edward fit that to a T. he's an incredibly complex man, and i think what really got me was that even as he was impersonating assassins and then templars and then assassins again, all for personal gain (pickpocketing the templars in havana while he gains their trust and agrees to do their dirty work lmfao my beloved <3), his primary motivation for doing so was to prove to caroline and her family that he is someone worth a damn, that he is capable of great things and that he is worthy of their love and acceptance. and i know from ac forsaken that the marriage with caroline doesn't last (though i haven't played ac4 far enough to see if that happens on screen, or if it occurs between the game and the novel) which makes his backstory in the game all the more heartbreaking. but his optimism and perseverance and determination to prove himself are all what make me love him.

so that's edward the romantic. now let's talk about the way edward is with adewale, his crew, and his friends. and let's also put the rest of this behind a readmore bc girl i am RANTINGGGGGG

he has several lines that he says to adewale that make me physically cringe (namely: "many of [these men] wouldn't accept you as captain" or "what was it like being enslaved?" like i get that someone like edward would be asking that question in good faith and genuine curiosity but also JESUS CHRIST UBISOFT). but on the flip side - cringey as those questions are, he also takes the time to actually listen and learn, and i think he genuinely values the perspective that he gets from adewale allowing him to open these lines of trust and communication. there's a patience and mutual respect there that i adore.

i also love how much edward loves his crew and his other pirate friends. those scenes of him + kidd + thatch + adewale + hornigold (lol) drinking on the beach and having a grand old time and talking about establishing - to borrow one of my favorite chills-down-my-spine phrases from black sails - a nation of thieves, for people like them to live and prosper, free from the chokehold of civilization. and i know he's not as outwardly invested in counterculture/independence/anticolonialism as thatch and vane and kidd are, but the fact that he so wholeheartedly supports his friends' goals, lofty and impossible as they are, speaks volumes about his love for his friends.

Favorite moment

every scene he has with kidd when kidd casually and softly reminds him that they see that he is a good person beneath his opportunistic and rambunctious exterior. i especially love when they discover julien du casse's mansion containing orders for templars to go out and hunt down assassins: the way kidd immediately knows that edward wants to help the assassins as a way to make up for the damage he did while masquerading as a templar, even if he hasn't voiced it aloud himself. the way that they don't force edward to admit anything about himself before he is ready, but still constantly remind him that he has a good heart. they give him space to come to terms with his compassionate side in a world/environment that more often than sees compassion as something to be stamped out or cast aside. i don’t love when characters are forced to be the Moral Compass for a main dude character, but i think it works for edward and kidd.

Idea for a story

not an edward story per se, but there are 2 povs into edward's life that i would cut off (someone else's) limbs for:

jenny's pov growing up in the kenway household. from haytham's pov it seems that she knows way more about his past than haytham ever did (it was hinted at that there are rumors about edward’s past as haytham was growing up that he wasn’t privy to, but i don’t think at any point in the novel does haytham ever find out definitively that his father was a pirate) and i want to know how she knew so much, and more into what her life was like - through her eyes rather than haytham, who is like 10 years younger and by his own admission barely understands her and barely has a functional relationship with her. i'll expand further on edward and jenny in the next question/prompt/bullet point, actually, bc i have a LOT more to say.

connor's pov learning about his grandfather from... idk? who's around to tell him? what's so goddamn sad is that by the time connor rebuilds the colonial brotherhood he's kinda the only one left. sure there's aveline down in louisiana, but as far as we know everyone who was around in edward's generation is dead now, and i'm not sure how much of the kenway saga is preserved for connor to discover, or if all this information about their family line was discovered in the modern-day, by your abstergo employee character, and later by osto berg in the comics. which is why i so badly want a revelations-style game where connor traces his assassin heritage back to the caribbean, relives some of edward's memories, and then makes the trip to london to see his aunt jenny. it would have been such a cool way to round out the kenway saga.

Unpopular opinion

idk how popular or unpopular this is bc i rarely see other in-depth posts about it on my dash, but edward was a terrible father to jenny. he was every bit the wonderful and loving father to haytham for the 10 years that haytham had a father, but i wish we'd seen more of jenny's perspective than just a few lines of dialogue in haytham's diary: i hate the way edward sidelined her and raised her in the same manner that any other wealthy person of the time would have raised their daughter - that is, for the sole purpose of sitting pretty and marrying her off in an arrangement that would benefit the family. it's especially hard to reconcile because in ac4 there are female assassins in the americas, and there are female pirates in the caribbean, so it's not like edward isn't aware that women have as much right as any man to live life on their own terms. it just seems like by the time he returns to england and settles down with his family, he's reverted back to the societal norms and gender roles that the pirates fought (and lost) against, and it's hard not to be deeply disappointed by that.

to be clear, i don't begrudge edward settling down and becoming a Rich Society Man. dude deserves to live comfortably with his loving family. he has every right to dote on his wife and children, and leave behind the hardships of being a pirate. but i think "fightning against deeply-ingrained cultural norms/expectations is a long and bloody struggle, and after losing so many people he cared so deeply about, i think it's understandable that edward wouldn't want to continue that fight alone (and also adewale is still fighting the good fight) (do NOT @ me about ac rogue I Pretend I Do Not See It)" and "i don't love the way edward sidelined his daughter into societally-expected gender roles she did not want; it makes me think that he did not continue drinking his Respect Women Juice as much as i thought he did/wanted him to" are two opinions that can coexist.

Favorite relationship

i don't know that i ship edward romantically with anyone, actually. i thought he and caroline were cute in the beginning, but it's hard to want to ship them knowing that she leaves him eventually. and ofc there'd edward/tessa in ac forsaken, and we know they were very happy together and that he loved her so so much. but we don't see that relationship except through haytham's eyes.

as for non-romantic relationships, i already talked at length above about his relationships with adewale and the other pirates and kidd, and i'll just leave it at that. i'm also vaguely aware that edward's got some upcoming scenes with anne bonny, but i'm not at that point in the game yet so i don't have much to say about the two of them. so far i've only seen them say a few lines to each other at the nassau tavern.

Favorite headcanon

kassandra absolutely rubbed shoulders with edward at some point during his time in the caribbean; i like to think that she needed to lie low for some reason (maybe she was with the assassins idk) and joined his crew. i just need my best stabby gal and my second-favorite stabby dude to be pals!

finally, this isn't a headcanon per se but it is obligatory that any time i talk about kenways i yell for a bit about the fact that EDWARD WOULD HAVE LOVED CONNOR SO SO SO MUCH AND I'M FOREVER DEVASTATED THAT HE NEVER GOT TO MEET HIM. at the same time, if edward hadn't been murdered and haytham not been indoctrinated into the templars the way he had, i'm not sure connor would even have existed. and in a way i'm glad that edward wasn't around to see how broken and cynical and depressed haytham became, because i think that would have absolutely broken his heart.

send me a character!

#KEN👏WAY👏BRAIN👏ROT👏#assassin's creed #ac black flag #edward kenway #ask games #reiverreturns #THANK YOU FOR ASKING i hope you expected and wanted this can of worms #finally wrangled that stupid ask box bug - saved this in my drafts and edited it from there #and lo and behold i can type W E and L!

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shakespearerants · 3 years ago

Note

⭐ for anything you want to talk about? please?

Ok I was really really breaking my head over what I was going to talk about (sudden "as soon as someone asks about x all previous memories/thoughts about x have been erased" syndrome) but some scrolling through my own AO3 reminded me of my forgotten masterpiece, the one that got away, my magnus opum of oneshots that nobody seems to appreciate, in short: My Roommate from Hell.

As very little people know, Good Omens is my most favourite book in the very very wide world. I own three (3) copies. I have read each of these three (3) copies multiple (multiple) times. Good Omens is the very first book I put in any new bookshelf, and the very last book I take out when I move. I don't even know why I love it so much, I just do. Naturally, I had conflicting feelings about the show (not so much the show itself which was very nice, but more about the fandom interpretation of Az and Crowley shifting towards the Show Versions TM and also Neilman word of God changes in content and also I am very not a fan of the Bentley playing music that is not Queen but oh well. Rant for another day.) but I did tremendously enjoy all the "10 years later" style headcanons that were popping up. In particular, there was this one post making the rounds about Warlock and Adam meeting and I, at my heart a chaos gremlin supreme, saw the chaos potential in that and HAD to do something with it. And thus, My Roommate from Hell was born. Well, more like chrystalized, I had the Idea for this in like,,,2016.

My favourite part of this fic is actually two parts, namely a) being outrageous and still counting as Canon Continuation and b) footnotes. I fucking love footnotes. I ESPECIALLY love outrageously long footnotes that contribute nothing to the actual narrative. It wasn't always easy to think of something to say in a footnote, actually. Like, I pretty much put one where the vibe was right, but expecially footnote no. 6 and no. 2 gave me some real trouble. No. 2 beacuse I originally wanted the couplet Warlock quptes to be a limeric, and I also wanted to write that limeric in the footnote. I was, unfortunately, not very good at coming up with suitably disturbing lyímerics. No. 6 gave me trouble for similar reasons, namely: What passage in the Bible can be altered to be insulting enought to get someone kicked out of a lecture and also how do I a) keep this short (original draft was about 3x the length it is now) and b) do this without having to buy a King James bible and also read it cover to cover. Then I remembered some profs are dicks. The rest is history.

The actual story, namely Warlock moving in with Adam or vice versa, is basically a thinly veiled letter of contempt to any other fandom interpretation of this sort of thing happening (there are many. do what you want but also you are wrong and my version is the only correct version. i am joking obviously. (i am not)). I broadly agree with fandom saying Warlock and his parents don't have the best relationship. I do NOT agree with them being deliberately cruel or overly homophobic, I read them as just this kinda very rich person brand of neglect. Also of course Adam and Warlock are going to Uni, and of course it is Oxbridge (I did so much research for this fic. I have to do my masters in Oxbridge now or my impeccable knowledge of the uni website will be for nothing.), Adam because you need The Credentials if you really wanna change something on a big scale, and Warlock because of The Reputation. Also yes, Warlocks parents did pay for their sons grades to be altered (brownie points for anyone who knows what scandal this is referencing). Also, I put a lot of thought into their housing. Jesus College is a thing, and it's kind of a reference to Jesus technically being Adams....Uncle? The vibe is your chill older family member making you sit at the kids table and asking you if you're having fun when they walk past you on their way to get a new beer.

Also a thinly veiled lettre of contempt to fanon Aziraphale is my Aziraphale. Series!Aziraphale is very nice and very well played but listen....in the book. the mans a bitch. I say this with love but he is an absolute stone cold cutthroat fucking bitch. Since the series came out fanon interpretation is very....soft, which is also ok, but. He's just a bitch, and the people may have forgotten, but I certainly haven't!

Anyways, this is the surface of a WHOLE LOT of stuff I have to say about this fic. If you want to hear some more, just leave me another question!

(Also fun fact, a few people here heard me read a section of this out loud during a Gay Folly Saturady Night Out, and have since asked me to make a podfic. I am trying. It is NOT going well.)

#good omens #vladi speaks #Quizzed!

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captain-mcdavid · 5 years ago

Text

word count: 2.9k

smut: yes | no

warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of mental illness

“Baby, c’mon!” He yells, and you roll your eyes, pulling the popcorn out of the microwave, yelling back at him while you fling the bag onto the counter so you don’t burn yourself.

“Just a minute!” It comes out harsh, and you shake your head, muttering to yourself afterwards. God he was impatient.

Then there’s a knock on the door, and with an annoyed groan you begin to turn, but only until you hear him call out, “I’ll get it!”

Well at least he’s good for something.

He saunters through your apartment and out of sight to the door like he owns the place, and it annoys you. Just like almost every other thing that he does.

You really shouldn’t have let him back into your life. He cheated, which is reason enough, but he’s also just an asshole.

But here you are, recycling.

You can hear hushed voices from the entry way, but you don’t bother to leave the kitchen to see who it is, cause if you do he’ll just complain about the popcorn not being ready again.

The door shuts and then he walks stiffly past the kitchen, and you call out, “Who was it?”

“Just uh,” He starts, and doesn’t finish, making you furrow your brows, “Just the neighbour. Wanted to let you know he’d be gone again.”

You think about Mr Danby and for the first time since he got here, you actually genuinely smile. The sweet old man next door went was a frequent flyer and usually came to tell you when he left, quote, “Just so you don’t think I died,”

You take the popcorn out with a small laugh, “He must have a good pension. He goes on a lot of trips.”

When you look up at him he looks tense, shoulders and jaw squared in an angry set, it reminds you so much of someone else, and then you’re floating towards him with a cautious gaze.

“Josh?” You say, and he looks over at you.

“What?” His voice is harsh and your mood instantly declines. Not this again.

“What’s the matter?” You ask, and he laughs. Here we go.

“You know what.” He spits back, and you stand up straighter, preparing for the fight.

“Why do we keep coming back to this?” You say, and you can hear the deflation in your own voice.

“How can we not?” He growls.

“We can move on!” You cry back. “I’m trying, but you do this every fucking night!”

“That’s rich!” Josh says with a laugh, “You haven’t moved on, you’re still just as pissed as I am!”

“Maybe I am!” You shout, “But I have a right to be, you cheated on me, and then you left for months. Of course I’m mad!”

“You say this like you think I don’t have reasons to be upset.” He argues.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, I never said that,” You state calmly, holding up a hand.

“But you imply it all the time! And it makes me feel like an asshole. I get it, I fucked up. But you sulking around here like I killed your fucking family makes it really hard to get past this whole thing.”

“I don’t sulk-,” You start, but he cuts you off.

“You’re miserable all the time, and don’t try to tell me you’re not. I can’t even make you smile anymore.”

“That’s not true.” You try to insist but he’s dismissing you quickly.

“I’m sorry.” He starts, holding out his hands. “I’ve said it a thousand times and I’ll say it again. But I’m done feeling like shit for this, because it wasn’t just me that screwed up.

“You should feel like shit!” You rasp, tears stinging your eyes. “What you did was horrible.”

“So was what you did.” He interjects.

You sigh feebly, shaking your head while you hold the popcorn bowl tighter. “I don’t want to fight Josh.”

“Yeah you do.” He says, and you furrow your brows.

“Huh?” You say, but you know what his answer is going to be. You’ve done this before.

“You do wanna fight with me, cause it means that you’ll still see me. You’d rather play out this scenario in your head, where we scream ourselves voiceless, because you don’t wanna deal with the fact that you actually lost me.”

And then you’re snapping back to reality, and the person sitting in front of you isn’t Josh, it’s your ex, Blake.

“Jesus, you zoned out there.” He says, still sitting rigidly on the ouch, and you stand there clueless. “What are you waiting for? Come here.” He says, and it’s meant to sound funny, but it just sounds rude.

“Who was at the door?” You ask dumbly, taking a seat on the couch.

“I told you already, neighbour.” He grunts, shoving a handful of popcorn in his mouth.

“Right,” You whisper, leaning back into the cushions. “Sorry.”

He winds a stiff arm around you, and you look up at his tense jaw line. “Are you okay?” You ask curiously, “You seem kinda off.”

“Says you,” He fires back. “I’m fine.”

“So am I,” You defend. “You were good like five minutes ago, what happened?”

“Nothing!” He insists harshly. “That old guy just gives me the creeps. He’s like, praying on you or something.”

You scoff, scooting away from him. “Don’t say that about him. He’s the sweetest old man. He’s never been anything but polite.”

“Whatever,” Blake waves you off, “Now are we gonna watch this? Or are you gonna keep talking?”

You don’t answer, you just move further away while you direct your eyes to the screen.

You watch without paying attention, your thoughts miles away from your body.

It’s been this way for the last four months. You’ll see Blake out of the corner of your eye, or when you walk into a room, and his tall build and brown curly hair fool you into thinking he’s someone else.

It’s insane really, and you probably should see someone about it, but in your mind, Josh is right. Actually dealing with what happened seems far too hard, so you’ll just imagine that nothing actually ended. The fights are painful, but much less painful than just getting over it.

Even just thinking about what you’re doing to yourself makes you feel insane, so much so you actually think you might be driving yourself crazy.

Between fake scenarios and all the time you’re spending with Blake, you rarely have clear thoughts.

Everything about Blake makes you so annoyed. Every time he speaks, his voice sounds wrong. And every time he touches you, his hands feel wrong. All of it is wrong because he’s not Josh. But you still keep him around, because even though he’s an asshole, spending time with him is better than spending it alone.

You’d initially reached out to Blake about two weeks after Josh had left, when the lonely nights became too much. You missed Josh’s body on top of your own, and you thought getting underneath someone else would mute that, but it only made it worse.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts again, when Blake shoves his hand in between your thighs, he looks at you expectingly and you’re about to stop him when he comes at you fast, pushing you down while he presses his lips to yours.

Every time he kisses you, you get more and more disgusted with yourself. Trying to pretend that he’s someone else is unfair, and even though he’s a complete dick he still doesn’t deserve to be played.

Although why should you have a problem with fucking with someone now? You obviously didn’t before.

With a grunt you push him off you, and he looks at you with a mix of curiosity and disgust, and in the moment you really just want him out of your apartment.

“I’m not in the mood tonight.” You tell him, standing up.

“Then what am I here for?” You hate that he actually has the audacity to ask that question. Who does he think he is?

“To hang out? God I don’t know. Don’t get so disappointed, you get laid like every other night.”

He shakes his head and stands, muttering something under his breath about putting out, and you have to hold back from punching him in the throat while he walks out of your apartment. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He grunts, slamming the door on the way out.

About a minute later there’s another knock and you roll your eyes, stomping towards it, jeez, he can’t take no for an answer.

You swing the door open, ready to yell but when you see who’s behind it your breath catches in your throat.

Emma.

“Did I just see motherfucking Blake Wilson walking out of here?” She says the words while she saunters into your apartment and you don’t know if you should be happy or sad.

“Uh... yeah.” You say, kind of ashamed.

“Y/N, when you fell off the face of the earth I knew it was bad but I didn’t think it could be that bad.”

You shrug, and then she pulls you into a hug. It’s the first hug you’ve had since Josh that actually made you feel okay. You were comfortable in her arms, Blake was a different story.

“What happened? What’s going on with you?” She asks, leading you to the couch to sit down.

“Just having a rough couple months.” You answer.

“Lindsay told me she moved out, but she won’t say why... Does that have anything to do with it?”

Just the mention of her name makes you tense up, and you clench your jaw to keep from rambling swear words. You look up at Emma, studying her face for emotion. You honest to god have no idea if she knows what happened or not. She was always closer to Lindsay than you, what if she was the same kind of person as Lindsay? Cunning and manipulative.

She looks genuinely concerned, so you sigh before saying, “It’s got everything to do with it.”

“What happened with you two?” She asks quietly, voice dropping while her eyes spark with something you can’t quite put your finger on.

Your furrow your brows and then say, “She slept with Josh. While we were seeing each other.”

You’re surprised when she starts to laugh, you look at her like everyone else has been looking at you for the past months, has she lost it? That’s not a laughing matter.

“God. Some people really never change.” The words come out almost like a snarl, and your eyes widen when you realize that Lindsay was probably a repeat offender.

“Bitch stole my boyfriend in high school.” She explains, and then extends a hand to put on your knee. “I’m sorry, I know how you feel.”

“She’s psycho.” You say, and Emma laughs.

“You got that right. I don’t know how I stayed friends with her for so long. I actually thought maybe she had become a better person.”

You chuckle, and Emma shakes her head, in awe of the situation.

“I’m really sorry Y/N, I know you really liked Josh, are you okay?”

You pretend to shake it off, shrugging like it’s no big deal. “I wasn’t that invested, I’m go-“

“You don’t have to lie to me,” She interrupts and you bite your lips, embarrassed.

“It’s been hard.” You say quietly.

“Is that why Blake was here?” She’s not trying to sound judgey, but it still comes off a little so.

“I haven’t really had anyone to talk to, okay? I know he’s not the best person for that, but he’s someone.” You defend, and she’s quick to stop you.

“Okay well you have me now. So you can stop clowning around with him. He’s a loser.” She states, and you can’t help but laugh a little.

She reaches out to wind an arm around you, and you lean into her. “I’m sorry you were alone for this long.”

The next month is better. The fights with Josh have stopped, but not the nights with Blake.

They should stop, and they are less frequent, but you still find yourself opening the door for him at eleven o’clock at night, and he follows you down to your bedroom and then leaves in the morning.

You really don’t know why you keep him around, Emma questions you all the time, but for now, seeing him less seems like an accomplishment so you’ll take the wins one at a time.

“Okay, I don’t understand why you always drive to this one. There’s one way closer to your house.” Emma chirps, getting out of your car.

“This one has better produce.” You lie, and Emma rolls her eyes. You’re definitely not gonna tell her that you come to this one because it’s closest to Josh’s. You’re also not gonna tell her that you go to the gym closest to his house, and the Starbucks, and his favourite Thai place. The last month you’ve been praying for a run in, but nothing has happened.

“We’re not getting produce. We’re getting Ben and Jerrys.” She reiterates, but follows you into the Safeway none the less.

You look up and down the isles long after you’ve found your ice cream, and Emma stalks behind, mumbling about being hungry. You leave the store disappointed again, but she doesn’t take notice, talking away for the ride home.

You get home and start the princess diaries, you’re deep into your pint of cookie dough ice cream when your phone buzzes beside you.

You still get really excited whenever you receive a notification, and you still feel really let down when it’s not who you want it to be.

Which is the case tonight. Emma looks down at the screen too, on reflex and when you pick it up you see her sit up in her seat.

You read the message from Blake, waiting for her to say something.

“Okay I’m sorry,” She starts, and you strap in. “But I can’t watch you do this to yourself any longer.”

You hope she can’t see the way you roll your eyes, you’ve heard this lecture numerous times, and it’s not helping so you don’t know why she bothers.

“Don’t you see what you’re doing here?” She asks, and because you’re actually kind of curious about the answer you shrug. “He’s the rebound that never ends. I let it happen when I thought you needed to get over Josh, but this has gone on long enough. You’re using him and you know it.”

“I’m not-,” You start to say, but then she gives you a look, and you stop.

“You’re doing to him what everyone else has done to you, and I know that he’s a jerk, believe me, I know that, but he still doesn’t deserve to been on the back burner.”

“It’s not like either of us want a relationship!” You say back, getting defensive.

“Do you know who would say that?” She asks, and you raise a brow.

“Josh. To one of his friends when they roast him for doing this to you.”

“Em,” You start, but she just keeps talking.

“You’re being naive-,”

The word nearly drags you over hot coals, and you don’t hear anything she says after it, that one word stuck in your head. It’s like she sees the change in persona immediately, and then stops talking.

“I’m sorry if I’m overstepping.” She whispers, “I’m just trying to look out for you.”

“Yeah, that’s what Lindsay said.”

The words fall out of your mouth and you see Emma’s shoulders slump. That was something you definitely shouldn’t have said.

“Okay, I think I’m gonna go. Give you some space for a little while.”

You don’t say anything, you just let her go, feeling like shit all around. Once she leaves you cry for a solid ten minutes, a frequent occurrence in the last four months, and then you pick yourself up and head out for some Thai food, which is also a frequent occurrence. The spice just seems to brighten your mood ironically enough. And so does the thought of maybe seeing Josh.

You listen to sad music on the drive over, spending way more time in the car than necessary. And when you pull up to the restaurant, your heart almost stops, cause there’s a car out from that looks just like Josh’s.

But still, you get out, and walk into the restaurant, trying not to get your hopes up. He’s probably not even here.

But once you enter you’re greeted by the amazing smell, and blue eyes and curly brown hair.

He turns when you walk in, and this time, your heart actually does stop.

You stare blankly at each other, and you’ve imagined this moment a thousand times but you never actually thought it would happen.

And now that it has, your stomach is on the floor and your heart feels fragile enough that it could break with a single beat.

You don’t know what you were thinking you’d feel, but it’s certainly not this. Cause all you see when you look at him, is cloudy vision from endless tears, Lindsay’s smug face, and that pink jacket.

You were sure you wanted this but now you’d give anything to take back the last thirty seconds. You’d never have walked in that door if you’d have known this is how you’d feel.

And then he says your name and his voice floats in your ears, only it’s not gentle, it’s harsh and loud and all you can hear is him yelling.

It’s only when he steps towards you that you have the mind to turn around, and run out the door.

#josh anderson imagine #josh anderson #gpp fic #liv writes #columbus blue jackets imagine #columbus blue jackets #nhl imagine #nhl

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natasha-cole · 5 years ago

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#1 Crush: Part 20

Chapter Summary: Reader is embarrassed about the incident with Liam. Rob’s concern isn’t making anything any easier.

Word Count: 2626

Warnings: angst, creepy fan, discussion of an assault incident, swearing probably

Notes: I’m still not in the writing mode really, but this has been sitting in my drafts like this for a long time and I figured I’d just post it as is. Hopefully it moves the story along a bit for you.

Series Masterlist

The following morning, you woke up feeling terrible. You hadn’t slept well, and even as you got ready for the day, you couldn’t shake the strange feeling that you had. It was almost a guilty feeling, as if you had been the one who had done something wrong last night.

You couldn’t stop thinking about the way Liam had kissed you. Your skin crawled as you recalled it, still creeped out by advancement and the way he had looked at you when you told him to stop.

Even as you headed off to the convention, you berated yourself over the fact that any of it had happened in the first place. You couldn’t help but to think that it had been your fault in some way. Had you led him on somehow? Had you not been clear enough on the fact that it was supposed to be a professional relationship and nothing more? Had you crossed a line?

To make matters worse, you also realized that you were about to face the rest of the weekend without a bodyguard.

Conventions had become stressful and anxiety-inducing lately; and the only thing that kept you coming to them was knowing that you were at least protected in your work environment. Now, you were suddenly very vulnerable again as Liam was out of the picture and you didn’t even have Rob anymore.

Although you and Rob were no longer dating, you felt the need to just tell him about what had happened. Not only did you feel guilty about the possibility of having done something to make Liam do what he did, you also couldn’t help but to feel awful that Rob knew nothing about it.

Before you could even think of a way to maybe mention it to Rob before anyone else found out, it was Adam who seemed to be a lot more alert than anyone else that morning. You had arrived at the greenroom, enjoying your first cup of coffee and just thinking when he approached you first.

“Where’s your bodyguard?” he asked, glancing around in concern as he didn’t see the man who never failed to be at your side constantly.

He sat down at the table next to you, waiting for an answer.

“He’s not here,” you responded simply.

“Why is that?”

“Well, he just didn’t work out I guess.”

It was a half truth, but now that it had been brought up, you felt like an idiot for the fact that anything had even happened. You suddenly questioned telling Rob at all.

“Okay, but why?” He pressed. “Did something happen?”

“Can I tell you something?” You asked seriously. “And can you promise not to think of me as a huge idiot for it?”

“You’re not an idiot,” he smiled in return.

You took a deep breath and his features softened, watching you with slight concern now.

“He made a move on me,” you said, embarrassed to even be saying it out loud..

“He did?”

“Yes. I had to fire him. It caught me off guard and it was extremely inappropriate.”

“And… Rob?”

“What about Rob?” You asked in confusion.

“I’m just trying to make sense of it. Rob never leaves your side. He’s with you even more than Liam was.”

“Well, I suppose you're out of the loop.”

“I must be.”

You took another deep breath before you broke the news to him. It never did get any easier to admit to it.

“Rob and I are no longer together.”

“Oh… Y/N,” he responded, sounding surprisingly sad about it.

“Why do you seem all sad?” You joked. “I know you don’t really care.”

“I do care. Look, I know I was interested… and yeah, it kinda sucked that he asked you out before I could… but he made you happy. I can’t imagine why you two didn’t work out.”

“We were working just fine,” you replied. “I really love him. But, I felt like all of this was just- weighing on us, you know? For me, that makes sense. But I really couldn’t live with myself knowing that it was affecting him as well. I know I’m not safe, but that doesn’t mean that anyone else should also not be safe because of me.”

“So, what happened?” Adam asked. “You said this asshole made a move on you, what did he do exactly?”

“It was nothing,” you said quietly.

“Doesn’t sound like nothing.”

“I mean, I can handle myself with a guy who gets too handsy. I just- I was more unsettled with the way he looked at me I guess. It creeped me out.”

“Jesus, Y/N,” he sighed in return.

“I’m overreacting again, aren’t I? Like, I probably shouldn’t have fired my bodyguard during a convention weekend especially with everything that’s going on.”

“I think, given your current situation, it’s not overreacting.”

“Do I really just give off a vibe that calls out to creeps?” You asked with a chuckle.

“Well, I mean, I wouldn’t say, just creeps…”

You laughed lightly, glad that you at least had him to talk to.

“Thanks for listening,” you said.

“Hey, I’m still your friend. I’m always here if you need me for anything.”

“You could talk to Rob about this for me,” you teased. “I’m debating if I should mention it or not, but something tells me he’ll notice something is up.”

“Well, I’m here for most things,” he laughed in return. “Really though, you should just tell him even if you’re not together. It would probably ease his mind when he realizes you’re without a bodyguard.”

“At what point do I stop worrying about what my ex boyfriend thinks?”

Adam huffed in return, giving you a look and you knew exactly what he was thinking.

“Maybe when you actually want him to be your ex boyfriend,” he replied. “We both know you didn’t really want any of this though.”

He wasn’t wrong. Your first thought after that incident had happened and after Liam had been fired was what Rob would think about it all. He was the first person to cross your mind and the first person you actually wanted to talk to about it. You had been the one who had complicated everything though. At this point, you didn’t even know if it was worth mentioning to him.

***

You had passed Rob throughout the morning, wanting to talk to him, but remembering that you had hurt him. You weren’t sure if there was a good time to tell him that you were without a bodyguard for the weekend, or if it even mattered to him in the first place.

Gradually, most of your castmates had noticed Liam’s absence. Many of them approached you with concern, and you had to explain things to them. You made sure to leave out the part about him kissing you and being sort of aggressive about it. There were just some details that you didn’t feel comfortable with everyone knowing about.

Everyone’s concern over this situation was noticeable, but after an explanation on how it was being handled at least for the weekend seemed to be sufficient enough at least for now. Rich and Adam even reminded you that they were there this weekend as well to help out in any way they could.

Rob appeared to be the last to know, which made you feel all the more terrible about avoiding him today.

You wanted to tell him, but you also tried convinced yourself that he was too angry with you to care. Mostly though, you knew he was still hurt and the idea of talking to him about another guy making a move on you seemed sort of cruel when you had been the one to break up with him. It wasn’t that your breakup had been a horrible, messy split or anything; but you really did want to keep him at a distance especially now that things were starting to escalate again with your stalker.

Rich had apparently talked to him on your behalf though, and while it would normally annoy you, it actually made the conversation between you and Rob come up a little easier. You were waiting to head to photo ops when Rob came through the door. He eyed you immediately and walked right toward you. The sight of him made your heart break all over again, but you knew you had to have this conversation.

Rob stopped abruptly in front of you, looking around as if he expected to see something.

“Where’s Liam?” He asked as his focus landed on you once again.

“Oh,” you replied. “He’s not here.”

Rob pulled back, looking at you questioningly.

“I know he’s not here. Rich told me that you fired him. Why?”

If there was one person in the world that you could be honest with, it was Rob. Even now that you weren’t even together, you still felt comfortable telling him everything.

“I had to let him go.”

“In the middle of a convention weekend?” He nearly shouted. “Why?”

“Because… I just- had to.”

“Y/N, you can’t be without security,” he reminded you. “Shit always happens at conventions, and you just thought it would be smart to get rid of your bodyguard on day one?”

“I have security,” you pointed out as you gestured toward the extra help. “I actually have more security now than before.”

“That’s not what I mean,” he replied. “You need a real, legitimate bodyguard.”

“Well, I no longer have one this weekend. My manager is working on finding someone else though.”

“Why would you fire him right now? You couldn’t wait until you got back home?”

“He made a move on me, okay?” You replied softly, hoping that maybe he wouldn’t actually hear you.

He did hear you though, and he looked even more shocked by this.

“He did what? Why?”

“I don’t know. He said that I gave him the impression that I was interested in him. He kissed me in my hotel room and it made me really uncomfortable. I asked him to leave and I fired him.”

“Why was he in your hotel room?” He asked, eyes narrowed as if he were trying to understand why he had been there in the first place.

You instantly felt sick, realizing that Rob was thinking something that you resented him for even considering.

“Really?” You asked sarcastically. You felt your eyes well up with tears, offended that he had even asked this. “I tell you that the guy made a move on me and you immediately ask what I did wrong?”

“That’s not what I’m asking,” he replied. “I just- did he hurt you?”

“No,” you answered. “He didn’t hurt me. Just- he just freaked me out a little is all.”

“I’m gonna be honest, I kinda need some clarification here…”

He looked almost hurt. You understood that it sounded bad when you said it out loud; this other man being in your hotel room and all.

“It was nothing, Rob,” you sighed. “I get a little freaked out about being alone now. He walked me to my room as he always does and when I got scared about going in, he came in to just make sure no one was there, even though I knew no one was there. He misread that and some other things, thinking it meant I was interested in him or something.”

“And he just… what did he do?”

“He kissed me is all.”

“He kissed you?” Rob asked, now looking pissed off as he tried to clarify what you had just told him.

“I pushed him away, and he kept trying... until I told him to leave.“

“Why in the world would he think you were interested?”

“I don’t know. I asked him the same thing. He thinks that I like, dumped you for him.”

Rob stayed quiet, eyes carefully examining you as if to ask if that might be true. Your leaving him hadn’t made any sense to him anyway.

“That’s not the reason,” you explained. “You know that right?”

“I know,” he replied, shaking his head. “I know. I’m just- I’m pissed that he did that to you. Are you okay?”

There he was. This was the Rob that you knew and loved. He wasn’t blaming you for anything. He was simply trying to understand why this man had tried to take advantage of you. His concern wasn’t over the fact that someone else had stepped into your room, but rather if he had forced his way in.

“I’m fine,” you assured him. “It was just a shitty situation and he had no reason to misinterpret it. I handled myself pretty well though. I even fired him right away.”

“I wish you would have told me about this right away.”

“Rob, why would I?”

“I know that you don’t want to be with me for whatever reason,” he began sadly. “But I care about you so damn much. This… this is really hard and the fact that this guy did this… I’m pissed. I guess I shouldn’t be because you’re not mine anymore, but I can’t help it. I should have been there...”

“Hey, please don’t ever think that this is because I don’t want to be with you. I just- I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what this guy is capable of, and I can’t be okay with allowing you and our friends to be mixed up in it anymore. Threats to me are one thing, but if he doesn’t have a reason to see you as a threat anymore, then I can keep you safe.”

“Forgive me if I don’t think that that’s a reasonable excuse, Y/N.”

“I know it doesn’t make sense to anyone else, but it helps me feel better.”

“I miss you,” he said softly. “So damn much. I know we had that argument, and I’m sorry for that. But, I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Rob.”

“I will never understand then…”

You wanted to explain your reasoning to him. You wanted to make him understand. But, as if on cue, your handler interrupted, reminding you that you had to leave for photo ops.

You looked at Rob in frustration, now not even sure if you could make him understand. You had tried to reason with him already and he still didn’t get it.

“Can we just talk more about this later?” He asked. “Please?”

“There’s nothing else to talk about. I told you what happened. I promise Liam is being replaced soon.”

“That’s not what I mean, Y/N,” he replied.

Of course he wanted to discuss your break up. You knew that he wanted to reason with you, remind you that you had left him for a stupid reason and that you should probably just work it out like normal couples would. But, it was never about the little fight the two of you had. It had simply been about the realization that anyone who was close to you could also be in danger.

He knew that, but he wasn’t accepting that. Regardless, you didn’t want to discuss it further. You knew that you were weak for him and all it would take was spending time with him to make you cave. You couldn’t be with him right now. No matter how much you loved him, you refused to make him go through this with you.

“We’re done talking about this,” you said. “Excuse me. I have work to do.”

You moved past him to follow your handler out of the room, not even giving him a second glance even though you wanted to. It would never be easy to walk away from him, but you knew that you had to if it meant you were protecting him.

***

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schmergo · 6 years ago

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Scarlet Pimpernel at Lincoln Center (informal review)

I just saw the most amazing show at Lincoln Center last night. I said to someone the other day that I don’t usually write informal “reviews” of limited-run productions because nobody else would probably be able to get tickets to them, but this was something special. It was a one-night only semi-staged version of The Scarlet Pimpernel, which originally ran on Broadway from 1997-2000 and has never yet been revived. A rarely-performed musical, my friend Wren and I discovered it in 10th grade and quickly fell in love with the catchy score but never thought we’d see a professional production.

When I first heard about the Lincoln Center concert, I burst into tears with excitement and thought, “Oh MAN, I wish I could go!” and moped around for a few days. Then I realized, “Hang on, I have some money saved. I have lots of unused vacation days. It’s only a four-hour bus ride away. What’s stopping me from going?” And I am so glad I did. Was it a flawless production? No. Was it painstakingly and meticulously designed and rehearsed? Definitely not. But was it one of the liveliest, most entertaining shows I’ve seen with top-notch vocals, hilarious gags, and tremendous audience response (actors sometimes having to cut off the excessive cheers and applause after certain numbers) that culminated in a 100% standing ovation? All that and a bag of pommes frites.

If you’re unfamiliar with the story, The Scarlet Pimpernel is based on a classic adventure-romance novel by Baroness Emmuska Orczy. Set during the French Revolution, it’s often called the original superhero story, in which a disguised vigilante hides behind a mild-mannered secret identity. When fashionable English gentleman Sir Percy Blakeney suspects his new bride, Marguerite, may be a spy for the French Revolution, he sets off on a mission to rescue innocent people from the guillotine- without his wife finding out. But he and his band of merry men don’t fight terror with terror. No, they employ witty disguises, tricks, and antics, leaving behind the mark of a flower called the Scarlet Pimpernel (Percy’s family crest). Back home, the men escape suspicion by exaggerating their mannerisms into ridiculous caricatures of fancy fops who care more about French lace and silk than French Revolutions.

But when Marguerite’s ex-lover Chauvelin (now a high-ranking French agent) blackmails her into discovering the true identity of the Pimpernel lest her brother die, she little knows how close to home her mission will hit.

It sounds like it could either be an overwrought melodrama or a Looney Toons short- and indeed, it is a bit of both. The musical itself endured many extensive rewrites during its short run, never quite finding the right balance. This concert seems to be a mish-mash of about three different past versions with at least one new song. But despite the jarring shifts between heart-wrenching ballads and silly slapstick in which tap shoes become a valuable component in a duel and executioners are distracted by 123 rampant geese, this performance was so rich in heart, joy, and spirit that the whole audience beamed along.

Of the leading roles, the only one I’d never seen or heard before was Tony Yazbeck, inhabiting the many hats (literally) of the Pimpernel himself. I can confidently say that he gave one of the most brilliant performances I’ve ever seen, period. Although he’s already an accomplished performer, I suspect this one-night show might catapult him to being a massive star. He’s, like, a quadruple threat, with so much stage presence that he shimmers. Yazbeck’s Percy can be ludicrously silly or achingly sincere, powerful or vulnerable, with a powerhouse voice and untiring energy and grace. I was sitting close enough to see all of his facial expressions, however over-the-top or subtle, and he was totally immersed in the character the entire time, sometimes hurling his script to the ground with emotion. (Remember, it was a staged concert with about a week of rehearsal.) He frequently breaks the fourth wall, trying to steal a violinist’s bow, dropping ad-libbed comments, sitting in the audience or dancing down the aisle, without dropping his polished English accent. I can’t wait to see what he’ll do next.

My personal favorite singer, Norm Lewis, co-starred as sinister French operative Chauvelin, who I can best describe as a more seductive Javert who is constantly humiliated by those around him. Having recently seen him in the Music Man, in which he gave a jovial performance but struggled with some lyrics, I was relieved to see that he held his script in hand most of the time here. He still flubbed the occasional word and seemed overly reliant on his script at times, but oh my good golly, I have NEVER heard his voice sound better. He has one of the richest, most powerful voices on Broadway, not to mention a huge vocal range, and this score puts all of it to use. This is the 6th time I’ve seen him live (plus his filmed performances in the 25th anniversary Les Mis concert and NBC’s Jesus Christ Superstar), and every song he sang here sent huge chills up my spine and fireworks off in my brain. Gosh, I love him. I do think Mr Lewis bit off a little more than he could chew doing these two semi-staged concerts only a week apart— he did seem less confident than the other performers— but I still feel so lucky to have seen him in both.

Laura Osnes sparkles as the sensitive and vivacious Marguerite. Her voice is higher and lighter than how I’d heard the role performed before, but she can certainly belt out a tune when required. She gives nuance and genuine feeling to Marguerite’s inner conflict, even joining in a sword fight to defend her husband! Osnes shows remarkable poise, rarely consulting her script. She has especially great onstage chemistry with Corey Cott, who plays her little brother with earnest puppy dog eyes and a strong pop vocal.

Though I didn’t like all of the changes in the song listing, lyrics, and script, I was completely invested the entire time. The able and versatile ensemble took on a variety of roles, from Percy’s merry men to French guards. Drew Gehling gave a particularly scene-stealing turn in the dual roles of Robespierre (stern and sardonic) and the Prince of Wales (utterly zany and wearing a magnificent feathered hat). Backed by a chorus of over 200 people and a full orchestra, the music was nothing short of sublime.

The pared-down nature of the show mostly came across in costumes and props, or lack thereof- Percy’s elaborate 18th century suits were clearly necessary to the plot, but stood out against most characters’ contemporary clothing. Supporting characters merely threw on a cheap-looking accessory or two to connote a different character or disguise, and Marguerite wore modern ball gowns. Sometimes, the script referred to characters changing clothes without the actors actually doing so. Still, the movement and staging was more complex than I had expected, and I was particularly taken by the effective guillotine prop.

All in all, I left the theatre electrified and touched that this huge audience- David Geffen Hall holds 2,738 and this show was pretty much sold out- had all seen and evidently loved this musical that means so much to me, that over 200 people put in so much effort and enthusiasm to bring it to life, and that I got to be there.

Another thing that unexpectedly moved me was Percy’s character arc. I’ve always strangely related to Percy despite not being heroic, rich, or fashionable, but I AM known for being kinda silly and flamboyant. And like Percy, I like to think there’s more to me than that. Although Percy becomes the Pimpernel out of anguish and desperation, he seems to genuinely relish getting to act so weird and over-the-top. He seems so comfortable in his own skin. Even when his identity is unmasked, he continues to be outlandish, even forcing Chauvelin into a tap dance battle. He and his wife desperately love one another, his friends care about him and always have his back, and he’s able to be his true and complete self— strong, smart, and brave, yes, but also in touch with his feminine side, compassionate, theatrical, romantic, and generally outrageous. As someone who feels equally accepted by my loved ones despite my outsized personality, I love this non-conformist romantic hero who proves you don’t have to be macho and grimly stoic to save the day.

“And that is why the lord created men!” Percy sings after springing a trap on Chauvelin. Marguerite and Madame Tussaud, who both helped, cough. “And women!” he sings to cheers from the audience.

I loved this show. I wish you could have been there. I’m heading home on the bus right now and this piece reminded me more then anything how much I value and appreciate all of the people in my life. Onward, ho!

#scarlet pimpernel #musical theatre #musicals #tony yazbeck #norm lewis #laura osnes

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dailyaudiobible · 5 years ago

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09/02/2019 DAB Transcript

Ecclesiastes 1:1-3:22, 2 Corinthians 6:1-13, Psalms 46:1-11, Proverbs 22:15

Today is the 2nd day of September. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I’m Brian and it's great to be here with you as we just kind of move in…move into this new month. And it’s been a great beginning to this new month here that at the Family Reunion in the rolling hills of Tennessee. We’ve had a blast. So, Godspeed. Safe travels to everyone heading back to their neck of the woods. It was a joy to spend some time with you and let's spend some more time together right now by taking the next step forward in the Scriptures. So, yesterday we concluded the book of Job and, of course, Job took us into some new territory to explore and apply to our lives. Today…today we’re going to begin one of my favorite books of the Bible, Ecclesiastes.

Introduction to the book of Ecclesiastes:

I used to not even enjoy the book of Ecclesiastes because it's kind of cynical and it kind of makes you feel like…like what's the point of it all, but I have found so much richness in those thoughts. Like, yeah, what's the point of it all without God? Like, what's…we’re running around chasing the wind and never really actually enjoying where we are, which is one of the things that Solomon who wrote this book really tries to stress. Like you need to appreciate what's happening right now and what you have right now. So, Job, as well as Ecclesiastes, which we’re about to read as well as the book of Proverbs and the book of song of Solomon and some of the Psalms, these are all part of the grouping of books that is known as wisdom literature. So, as we went through Job and as we go through Ecclesiastes, we are learning of the wisdom tradition in the Scripture. So, like I just send Ecclesiastes has traditionally been ascribed to the Solomon and that's been up for debate like most everything else in the Bible among biblical scholars over centuries, even millennia. And that's…so…Solomon's been debated for different reasons, but the book probably did originate with Solomon. And then maybe was translated and updated just like translations are modernized even today. Solomon was known to be the wisest man in the world. It's what he prayed for and he was the most powerful and wealthy man of his time. And…I mean…his father, King David set him up so that he was able to pursue whatever his heart desired no matter what he dreamed up. Like, he could do anything. And as the successor to King David on the throne. He had all of the resources at his disposal, he had a thousand of the most beautiful women in all of the world as wives and concubines. He had royalty. He had the wisdom of God. Like, this is a guy that pretty much has everything a person would aspire to. And, so, it becomes interesting because for somebody who has it all Ecclesiastes can be way out of character. Like, we would…we would expect, like some kind of memoir of greatness from a man like Solomon. Like…just…you can only imagine, we just have a glimpse into this great King's life. So, you can only imagine the things he saw and did. But he writes Ecclesiastes, which, you know, we can read like a depressing rent but if we start looking below the surface, this book is a truly deep look into our own hearts. We’re all pursuing something, dreams, goals, things that we are aspiring to, but not very many of us, if any, really ever just get to do whatever they want whenever they want. Like, we always have some kinda carrot hanging out in front of us that gets us up out of bed in the morning and keeps us moving. We can always say, “if I had that, life would be better, right? If I could do this thing than my life would be better.” There's always something new that we can find to chase but what if there weren't anything new to chase? Like, what if we actually did have it all? I realize most of us are like, “I would like to have that problem. I would like to see how I would deal with that problem, that I have all of the resources at my disposal that I can imagine, and I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I would love to have that problem.” The interesting thing is, where hearing what it's like to have that problem in the book of Ecclesiastes because Solomon, he did pursue, and he did achieve everything he wanted to do but later in his life all these beautiful wives that he had began to seduce him into idolatry. And, so, what we see in Ecclesiastes is one of the musings of a very wise older man looking back over all of his endeavors and finding his life meaningless without God, which is a perfect next step following all that…that we began to consider in the book of Job. And, so, having said all that, we begin today the book of Ecclesiastes. We’re reading from the New Living Translation this week and we will read the first three chapters of Ecclesiastes today.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for your word and once again, we thank You for bringing us safely into this new month. And as we continue through this month and into all of the territory that You will bring us into we’re definitely encountering rubbing up against things that we haven't encountered thus far in the Bible. And, so, our hearts are open because we've seen what You can do through your word. We’ve seen how You reach us where we are and continually remind us. We feel like we are being pulled forward. You are pulling us forward because You are maturing us, fathering us as your sons and daughters. And, so, in the book of Ecclesiastes we’re learning that there is a place for everything. And, so, much of the time of our lives we spend chasing the wind. We have an ideal, we’re chasing an ideal and missing the fact that we are here right now and have so much. So, help us Holy Spirit as we continue forward to contemplate these things. We invite your Holy Spirit to give us a contented heart as we take the next steps forward. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, and its home base, it’s where you find out what’s going on around here.

It's a holiday here in the United States today, it’s called Labor Day and a national holiday. So, day off. And man, we had a great time last night at the family reunion. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful time together. And I kind of officially closed our family reunion. Many stayed over today and will be together for part of the day today and then starting the migration back toward our homes. And, so, all of you who were here, thank you for coming. It does our hearts good to see you. It does our hearts a tremendous amount of…well…it brings our hearts a tremendous amount of happiness, just to be able to make those connections and know like, this labor is not in vain, it's not just solitary, it’s not just, you know, us, me behind a mic and us doing our thing. Like, on the other side of this are brothers and sisters that we’re sharing the world with and we’re sharing mission with. And, so, thank you for coming and the until we meet again…until we meet again. And, so, for those of you who weren’t able to make it or whatever, I feel the same way. Somewhere down the road I hope that our paths cross. I hope that in this life we can shake hands and hug necks and tell stories. And I realize that's probably not possible, at least 100%, but I do believe that we will one day meet and that the labor that we shared, this labor of the rhythm of the Bible in our lives every day, that it will have mattered and that it will have instructed and informed us on the roads that we should choose. And those roads all lead to the same place. And we will one day be together for eternity, I believe that. So, not to get overly sentimental, but it was good. It was good to have this family reunion and I’m excited about the road ahead.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com. There is a link on the homepage, and I thank you humbly and deeply for your partnership. If you’re using the app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner, or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174. And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment you can press the Hotline button right next to the Give button in the app, little red circle is your hotline, or you dial 877-942-4253. And that is it for today. I'm Brian. I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

And as always if you have a prayer request or comment you can press the hotline on the app, little red button up at the top of the app, you can press that button and start talking or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

This message is for Jesse, Jesse from Washington. Today is August 27th. I listened to your prayer request and your…you were actually praying and stating the truck driver now all of a sudden, his name escapes my memory, but I wanted to pray for you. It sounded like your life, you are gardening, and you are attending so many different things with your daughter having her tonsillectomy and adenoids and getting married and your wedding invitations going out and a new building and you were having to stay up until 1 o’clock in the morning for your business. I’m actually gardening right now in the fall in Nebraska and it just it came across me. Like sometimes we garden in too many places. Sometimes we don’t fertilize correctly. Sometimes we need more water, which sometimes happens when it gets close to the fall. So, Father I just lift up Jesse to You. I pray for he and his wife to be as…he said he was a month behind Father, but I pray by the time that he listens to this Father, I pray that he is doing well. I pray that his daughter has recovered from surgeries. I pray that his business is prospering. I pray that the fertilizer in the water and the plants that they have planted are in the right places with the right sunshine, with the best nutrient rich ground that is there. And Father, I pray that You would give him guidance that if those plants are in the wrong place or if that fig tree isn’t producing fruit as You say in Luke 14, I believe it’s Luke 14, it’s either Luke 14 or Luke 12 where You say cut it down…

Hello Daily Audio Bible, I ask that you pray with me from Ephesians chapters 1 and chapter 3 for all believers everywhere. Dear God please give us the spirit of wisdom and revelation so that we may know You better. Enlighten the eyes of our heart so that we may know the hope to which You’ve called us and so we may know the riches of the glorious inheritance we have coming to us and so that we may know the incomparably great power for us who believe, the same power that You used to raise Jesus from the dead. And Lord out of your glorious riches strengthen us with might through our spirit in our inner being so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through us and we may each be rooted and established in love and we may have power together with all believers to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge so that we may each be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Glory to him who is able to do more than all we ask or imagine. In Jesus precious name. Amen. And I agree with Jane from Nebraska whose prayer was played on August 17th. Lord, fill us like water. Fill every void in us. Fill every inch of us. Fill us up Lord with your living water so that none of us are lonely but we always walk with You. And Lord let that light through…through us shine for a world who needs You and bring each person on this planet to You. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

Good morning family, this is for all of you, Brian, Jill, China, Ben, the staff, SarahJane and my fellow DABbers. You know I…I just want to call and say I love you guys. You guys get me through every single day. I’m not going to name names because we’re all important, we’re all important and this is just me telling you that I need you guys. I love you guys. You know, I pray for you guys. I don’t call as often as I should, and I know that. You know, I too have been going through some challenges but I’m okay. I’m okay because I know I’m not alone, I know I’m not alone. And, you know the joy of the Lord just dwells in my heart and I’m just learning to just go through these challenges knowing that God is there before me, beside me, behind me, above me, below me. So, I just want to let you all know how much you mean to me, that each and every day that I listen, and I pray alongside you. The Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you, the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. May the Lord continue to bless all of your loved ones and may He do what only He can do within each and every one of you and provide for all of your needs. In Jesus’ name. Esther from Flushing Queens.

Hello DAB family this is Paula the child advocate from the LA area calling. I haven’t called in a while, but I did want to call today and wish all of you who are going on the family gathering a blessed time together in community. I’m sorry I won’t be there to join you, maybe one of these years, but you’ll all certainly be in my prayers. Also, I wanted to give a shout out to two first-time callers, Samantha and Bobby. It was wonderful to hear your voices and to all of you first timers. It’s great to hear you. Thank you for calling in. I know sometimes that’s a little hard. I have trouble myself. I wanted to give you a little update family. My son Tyler and his wife Areli have been living in Tijuana waiting for almost 2 years for her visa to come through so they can move to Los Angeles where he has a job waiting. It’s still taking time family, so please keep them in your prayers. They get discouraged at times, so they really need your prayers. And a quick update about myself. You know, we lost our home to the wildfires in California last November and I’ve had some health problems and I recently fell and broke my arm. So, it’s been a tough time and I hear a lot of you saying how tough it’s been for you too and I want to tell you we can all get through this together. I see God at work in all these trials I’ve been put through. I see the silver lining because I know everything that’s happened, it could have been a lot worse. So, I am hoping you too when you going through these trials that you can see that God is still there with us. And even though it looks really bad and you’re in pain and your crushed and depressed, please remember we’re praying for you and God is there by your side. I love you family. God bless you all. Bye for now. Paula from LA.

Hi DAB family this is Shel from Arkansas and today is Wednesday, August 28th and I just ask for prayers for me and my family please. My 62-year-old brother was bludgeoned to death by his son on Saturday and my family and I were having a hard time and I just ask that you pray for us. I ask also that you pray for me because although I don’t question God on any of this, I’m just finding it hard to pray. And, so, I ask that you pray for me until I get the strength to pray. Thank you so much.

Hello DAB family members this is Ruth calling from the natural state, beautiful natural state of Arkansas. I have a prayer request for…well I’m praying a prayer for falling away Christians. Mainly, I’m praying for the young people. There’s so many of them nowadays that have fallen away. One is in my family, well I have a couple of them in my family, my grandsons, they’re in their 20s and 30s. They’re not little guys they’re adult men and they have fallen away. And I have a prayer and I want to give you it very quickly before my time is up. So, Lord I am praying for those who have walked away and turned to the world, may they do like the prodigal son and come to their senses coming back to You with repentance in their heart before it’s too late. I pray this prayer in the precious name of Jesus. Lord, I know You are concerned about everything that concerns your children just like we are concerned about things that concern our children. Now, I know that You are going to answer this prayer because You are already said in your word that You __ all to be saved who come to the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. So, I know this prayer is going to be answered but only in your time. And I pray that they will have the mind to do this, to come back to you, and I will be calling again with another prayer for our fallen away, mainly our young people, but actually all of our people, fallen away family members come to the Lord and the ones that never accepted you, my prayers are even stronger for those that have never accepted you before it’s too late Lord before it’s too late. God bless you I love you all.

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chronikkally · 7 years ago

Text

THE KH FANDOM IS TOXIC THAT'S WHY...

This is to an artist I wrote an article talking about. Basically a little something about me and pedophilia. She’s 19 or 20 and I don’t like her. I don’t like her or the girl that accused me of being a pedophile over art. But this was so confusing and I didn’t want to argue with someone that young. I’m 21. I should know better but this was another case of Not knowing all the facts.

I will start it off. Like this, this was last year mind you. I have an imvu account. I’m always off and on imvu. Creating an account. Deleting. I actually enjoy that site because of the avatars.

And I started my first time on imvu, when I was in elementry. I think, maybe middle school.

Imvu is a chat website with 3D avatars in a virtual reality. The site is between good and bad. It’s a 50/50 win or lose type of thing. But last year, back when I had my laptop working. I had an account and got back on it. I was bored and I decided to play with this new upgrade to the chat.

It worked like tinder! I wasn’t planning to date anyone because at the time I was in a so called relationship. Previously I was on a dating website, badoo. Bad choice, don’t do it.

This artist on tumblr. Draws Xaldin from Kingdom Hearts with Lexaeus. She’s lesibian. Not important but to me it was and she had the stupidest reason behind this thing I shall explain.

She accused me of fetishizing, an Iranian. So, I’m swiping on these avatars on imvu. And I come across this guy who doesn’t have an avatar, it’s his face and I’m like he’s kinda ugly but his nose is cute. The thing I notice about guys is their nose. Now, I will admit this. Which is accurate.

If there was anything I truly was fetishizing. It was white men! And I still feel bad and no longer like white guys, in a sexual nature, they have weird dicks. Another reminder I am black. POC. Brown. African american. Whatever. I’m a nigga.

At the time when I swiped right on this boy who was 24 on his profile. He’s 25 now. Moments later he sent me a message and I didn’t think anyone would swipe on my card so this was surprising.

I didn’t get on imvu to date because I thought a boy named Tony Holt was my boyfriend. He said he cuffed me and I believed it. I was wrong. He said he liked black girls but in that way, you know actually fetishizing.

He messages me and says, my interest are funny. And I like making people laugh it gives me good vibes. So I say, I try my best. Eventually he invited me into a private chat and I accepted.

I was nervous as hell because like I said imvu is 50/50 you have some really messed up guys on there. And the last time, some really weird and ugly white dude started kissing all over my avatar like no tomorrow asking if I loved him. So this nice man and I’m saying man because he was one. The first thing he said, would you date a Chinese man?

I was so confused and I moved avatar as far from him to simulate this weird behavior. I wasn’t trying to date him. I ask, are you Chinese? He goes, I’m Iranian. Me: Then why did you ask? Him: I was trying to be funny And goddammit if he wasn’t.

I didn’t know he was Iranian. Nor did I care. It wouldn’t have made a difference if he was or not!

What really made me swipe right. Was because in his card he said he wanted an intellectual conversation with someone. Me, I like to talk, that’s all I wanted.

I ended up moving my avatar to the couch in the private chat but there was still space between our avatars.

He introduces himself. I give him my name. He was confused to why I thought, the first thing he wanted to do was date. Because I was away from his avatar. I remembered being a bit mean. He asked, why are you way over there and I snapped and said this is the not too fucking fast position because the last time somebody put me in a private chat THEY ASKED ME RIGHT OFF THE BACK DO I LOVE THEM AFTER KISSING MY AVATAR.

I remember words like, I don’t bite. And not going to lie. I was smiling because it was cute and I was nervous like.

But when I moved my avatar we talked and it was the best shit ever. Realizing I was having a conversation with somebody that knew shit and wasn’t a dumb ass. I was high.

He asked me about the president and his policies and I said something like fuck him. And he’s surprised. He goes, you don’t like your president? I said fuck no!

The conversation is going. I find out he has an illness. I have an illness I asked how he felt in Canada and asked if he faced any decrimination and I really don’t understand why there is a hatred towards middle eastern people. And the last middle eastern that spoke to me was on tinder. I think he said he was Iraqi. And I feel bad for that. I dogde the shit out of Arab men. Out of respect! I would hate to have an Arab boyfriend and both our families are like why you bring an A-RAB home (my dad) and his family is like what the fuck did you bring home?

Because not everyone is open minded to their children dating outside their race. I hold middle eastern men to a high regard. Like respect the shit out of them. By not talking to them in fear I sound like a racist uneducated ghetto mess! It’s like, you’re a smart man please leave a poor black woman to her slave duties, sir. But the one on tinder was confusing like are you here for sex or a date? And I wasn’t into the whole sex thing. So I ducked and dodged. On imvu, I love Capricorns! I don’t know why. He was a Capricorn. And I was all FUCK YEAH. And I had made him laugh talking about dick because dudes send me ugly dick pictures and I lie to them. I said something about black guy’s dicks changing color and he shared a story how a chick he was dating was real conceited.

My favorite thing. We talked. Laughed and joked. Eventually this huge feeling comes over me. And I wanted to really know him. I was interested as fuck. And last time I spoke with him, it was real short. I messaged him on imvu and he was willing but… Ugh I can’t get that back. Even if he changed his relationship status to in a relationship and I was confused as to why. Because I’m a grandma. If you don’t ask me. Nigga I guess you not interested and I don’t play games so…

Tony Holt came back from working on a rig and all hell broke lose. I think I hurt him. He unfriended me and that hurt me. I still like him. But at the same time. I’m confused, I don’t know if it’s pity or that rich Arab hospitality. One of those, Imma be nice but I don’t like you…ANYMORE BECAUSE HE FUCKING CALLED ME DEAR THE SECOND TIME WE CHATTED. And I’m not going to force him to be with me. Never. But my actions hurt. And I don’t want to slip into another relationship now.

If this is about wanting to date outside my race however. That is the stupidest thing. Rihanna is courting a Saudi! Brittany Spears is courted by an IRANI. AND A DAMN KARDASHIAN IS WITH A MIDDLE EASTERN. So two white heterosexual women and one black Caribbean can do it. But my black ass can’t?

I tried to date outside my race multiple times. What I fetishized were white men! And If I was really fetishizing, I would like a fucking middle eastern to message me and curse me the fuck out then some ass kissing self entiled brat. I don’t like her. She’s 19 and full of shit. Talking about, I draw Arabs and write about them.

NIGGA.

I HAVE A SYRAIN MALE CHARACTER WHO HAS SEVERAL BROTHERS. AND A SISTER AND THEN THERE WAS THE TIME I HAD A CHARACTER FROM YEMEN. FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ARE NOT REAL.

THEY DO NOT HOLD THE SAME VALUES AS A TANGIBLE MOTHERFUCKER. I said a Desi/Arabic woman was super fucking beautiful and thick and I don’t know if it was lesbianism or I was jealous as fuck. I had a stroke and she came into my room while I was in recovery and I just lost my damn voice. Plus. Why are you so concerned with what I reblog? I reblogged Arabic men one time. Some of them were shirtless. They looked good. Maybe the reason I did it was inappropriate but they were good looking men! And some were gay asf.

Oh look at this happy gay Arabic couple. They look so comfortable. You see gay men just hug and suddenly get happy? I don’t know why but seeing guys have this. I’m envious. Because I want a dick and hate my vagina. I’m a transexual? I do not care for my lady parts.

Like what ever the argument is… It’s stupid. Your art doesn’t carry the same shit as an actual middle eastern who comes to America or Canada. They out here getting called all sorts of shit.

You draw a hajabi girl and she gets her hajabi ripped off in your fictional world. You don’t go to an actual breathing tangible hajabi girl and try to relate your fictional shit to her actual pain.

A scenario: Hajabi: Some guy snatched my hajab off An artist: Well, my character Shahira Mohammed got her hajab ripped off her head too.

Scenerio two: Black people: I got called a nigger, I’m biracial An artist: I have a character that’s a slave, so I totally understand.

Scenerio three: Jewish people: I was just breathing when somebody threw money at me and called me a Jew face An artist: I totally understand. Yousef was called a Jesus killer in Chapter eight. It hurt so much to write that.

I still like Ahmad. Him being Iranian doesn’t mean shit to me. But I’ll punch a nigga for him. Middle easterners and Jewish people get the dumbest hate. ‘Oh well, middle easterners uh, 9/11’

One person. Not a whole nation.

‘Jews love money’

First off. Don’t be mad at somebody Jewish for getting off their ass and going to work because you sat down and scratched your ass all day. But please tell me I’m fetishizing.

How the fuck is it okay for some goddamn lesibian of 19 fucking years old. Find it remotely acceptable to draw gay fictional characters in yaoi scenerio if yaoi is also the art of hypersexualized homosexuality.

Because if that doesn’t mean the same damn thing then I might have a second goddamn stroke and I don’t want to die. That’s hypocrisy. Lesibians get the fetishizing thing, too when two homosexual girls are caught in public and a heterosexual man comes and sees they wanna instantly have a three way.

But clearly you don’t understand this. And instead you want to focus on POC, like middle easterners can’t speak the fuck up. If I was doing wrong, why the hell didn’t somebody that was Arabic not come and tell me after all the shit I reblogged. Can you please not reblog my shit? Because if they did I would have gotten the fuck rid of it.

But please explain to my black ass once more how I’m wrong. You fucking brat. You wanna act like an adult be prepared to get talk to like one. No one ever comes out when black women get fetishized. But I guess, in the harshes reality.

1) You once upon a time had a crush on some Arab who rejected you and now your gay.

2) You’re low key fucking racist. You looked through my blog on my now deleted account and ignored that I was a POC who went through this bullshit. And everyone can come after me like. Dude chill she’s 19. Fuck off. She’s reaching a new age of 20 no one is holding your fucking hand through life because you can’t face these things. Grow up. You hurt yourself. Which led to this. I’m not going to let some 19 wannabe important child explain to me what fetishizing is!

I told Ahmad about this. He laughed, said it was amusing. Found out he’s short. He has two brothers. Is the middle child. Is a weed smoker. BECAUSE MEDICAL MARIJUANA.

SHUT THE FUCK

#kingdom hearts #accusing #‎thegaleandlance #hypocrisy #fetishism #bullshit

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