#he killed andrea in the time honored spn honor killing
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sometimes i think about the contrast between andrea and cas
both are “too far gone”
and in the same episode we get such a stark contrast! benny preserves deans happiness; dean does not preserve benny’s
comparing benny saving cas to dean killing andrea is stark and even bleak
(no time maybe for discussion w/benny but it was a fatal blow to andrea; there was no disablement or consideration for knock out blows, certainly no rational convo with her, or emotional appeal for second chances/how to beat addiction etc etc; so very telling)
i mean, benny was doing plenty of flagrant dismissal-and-dehumanization-and-escalation all on his own, but!
just a flash of teeth and bam
dean chose the coldest, most permanent solution; the hunter’s choice
is it any wonder benny wanted to stay in purgatory? his unfinished business now resides there
#and it destroyed benny#i think i like the idea that this haunts dean well into s10#but his motivations were complicated!#he killed andrea in the time honored spn honor killing#so their loved one wouldn’t have to#now dean starts to battle his demons#and even though he asked cad to take him out he now thinks#maybe he should do it himself#but here is the cool part!#the so called really benny woukd recommend suicide for his cherished ones (andrea) and himself#john isn’t john#mary isn’t mary#benny isn’t benny either as it turns out!#just a fond memory a door left open perfectly preserved and able to be idealized!#i just think about andrea and s10 dean a lot ok#dean rejects suicidal benny as an act self-preservation… NoT truth#*we’re all damned*#the truth is what creates the lovely tension!#andrea kormos is like bela for me#her actress is wonderful give her to me all day!#dean saw benny look on andrea as a monster corrupted… and now deans subconscious is telling him he’s too far gone too as death echoes 10x23#you’re a stain on your family’s memory says death#benny too calls andrea just a memory even as she cries out: i’m RiGHt here!#and she was right there#he just couldn’t *see* her#and how the abandonment theme fits for her so soooo well#not to mention being blamed for her own corruption/abuse#even though if all ppl benny should know better! shoukd understand! shoukd offer hope!#wouldn’t you rather be a fond memory than a constant festering disappointment?#benny would rather he and andrea both be fond memories
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