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#he just randomly was like yeah i'll work in an accent here
tomcriuse · 3 months
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Criminal Minds 1.19 'Machismo'
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sunny6677 · 2 years
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There's four of us!
A RED GUY X MALE! READER
Chapter 2: Jobs PART 2
TW: None, I believe.
---------
Red looked to a speaker on the wall, and took it, putting it close to mouth so they could hear loud and clear. "Um.. sorry to interrupt, guys.. have any of you s-- seen a strange, uhh.. box person?" He asked through the speaker.
"Box?" Said one of the employees, pointing to a green bag with a white plus symbol on it. "No, no, he's more of a business bag.. just a brown bag." Replied Red to the gesture the employee had made.
...
...
They only stared back intensely. Yellow then took the speaker and said; "He eats breakfast! He's one of those ones with one of himself!"
...
...
"Oh-- uh-- also, I think the phones ringing.." Said Red after a long minute of silence.
"Um.. maybe I should try, hold on.." Y/N fumbled with the speaker that was formerly in Yellows hands, and placed it up to to his mouth. "He-- he was singing, he went into that closet right over there a minute ago.."
...
...
"You need to be more aggressive, Y/N! I say, letting them walk all over you is not going to do the trick!" Said Duck suddenly, grabbing the speaker away from him. "Hu-- Huh? But they didn't even say anything--"
Loudly, Ducks voice blared from the speakers; "Attention, freaks! It's me! We're supposed to be starting our new job any moment! How do we get out of here or away from you immediately?!"
...
...
They went back to work.
"How strange, they're pretending they don't respect me!" Scoffed Duck, rolling his eyes at their mocking behavior. "And the phones still ringing, guys, isnt..." Red began to walk towards the door containing the phone ringing.
"Isn't anyone gonna get that?" He asked, the workers only dismissively glanced at him while still doing their work. "Um.. I can answer it for you if you want." Softly offered Y/N, walking up to him.
"Huh? Oh, no, no need.. I'll get it." Replied Red.
"Oh.. well-- I can still go with you if you want." Y/N offered once more, averting his eyes.
"Um.. sure, I guess you can."
"Good!.."
Y/N followed Red into the office where the phone was ringing, but stopped upon hearing Ducks voice say something behind him as Red entered into the office.
"I say, that Y/N fellow always just let's people walk all over him! He's really got to stand up for himself sometime!"
"Um.. yeah. He sure does." Replied Yellow, seemingly not knowing what to say to that.
...
...
Y/N closed the door.
Red picked up the phone and spoke into it softly, "Um.. hello.. your through to.. Petersons and Sons and Bits and Friends.. huh." He read carefully off the wall as Y/N stood stiffly next to the chair behind the desk that was inside the office.
Y/N didn't bother to pay attention to what Red had to say to the person on the phone, only staying alone in his thoughts that had manifested upon hearing what Duck had said. He didn't let people walk all over him, he wasn't weak like Duck thought of him as. So why did Duck treat him like that?
After a few minutes, Red put down the phone and said; "Alright, Y/N-- let's go."
"Oh, um, right.." Softly replied Y/N, being immediately pulled out of his thoughts. It was only when he took one step when a sudden female voice with a Scottish accent spoke from below.
"Wow! Nice work! Your a real go-getter, arent ya?" The Printer was speaking, which was not really strange considering what it was like around this world, but was still a bit freaky nonetheless. Y/N caught himself flinching back in fear, a little startled.
Red took a step in front of him and got in front of him, knowing full well how he felt about random talking objects randomly appearing. "Am-- am I? I don't really think I am, most people say i--" "Well I think you are! And you've got such a beautiful telephone voice if I may say so myself!"
"Oh.. thanks, thats very kind."
"Thank YOU! Why don't you sit down and--"
A pair of hands randomly pulled Red into the chair, Red appeared very uncomfortable with the position he was now in. Y/N slightly flinched, now a little afraid for Red.
"--make yourself comfortable?"
"Oop! I got a fax coming in for you!" As she(the printer) said that, she grunted as it came out of her and made noise. The fax in question read; "Hello, you're doing well. I like you."
Y/N swallowed his spit and felt a chill run up his spine.
"Oh, that's nice.. who's this from?" Asked Red.
"Me~" The Printer answered.
With the combination of Reds very clearly uncomfortable demeanor and aura, and Y/Ns fearful face, he(Y/N) couldn't help but shake the feeling that he was going to regret ever coming here with his friends.
And as much times as he tried to deny it inside his mind, he couldn't help but feel as if it were true.
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Greetings!
Hello I saw you had matchups open ( I don't know what 1 slot means but I'm writing anyways) and I was wondering who id match up with best (from twisted wonderland) considering I have gotten a hyper fixation on multiple people from twisted wonderland and gotten really fond of the game in general so here is some information about me that might help!
•Ok so first of i am a Huge fan of everything in the genre of fantasy (as a kid i was a huge fan of werewolf's and wizards)
•my mbti (is that how's it spelled? Oh well I tried) is INFJ
•I LOVE to cook, painting and drawing and dogs and if I find a good book I'll read too!
• I have Autism (Wich means I have a hard time making deeper connections sadly)
•if there is one think that I don't like it's people that are overly judgemental and unkind to changes or differences (that includes people)
•if I had to describe myself I would say I'm very sweet and polite, open-minded but in some situations like someone teasing I might seem cold and cruel towards that person (as much as I hate to admit it)
•OH! And before I forget I'm female standing 161cm with green eyes with golden hair ( pretty much just muddy blond I guess) and I'm from denmark
•And just for fun (and just because I want to brag) I have small feet so that means buying shoes is much easier and cheaper
•and lastly my habits are: drinking ALOT of milk, walking on my tippy toes: changing randomly accent (it's not even a danish accent) depending on my mood, and lastly... I don't know that was everything!
I hope this was enough information for you and of course I hope you have a wonderful day and have a nice.... Writing? Yeah! Have a nice writing
From a young lady named Sofia
Hi, Sofia! No worries, everything was great (I also saw the other message, you're all good).
Hmm, which of the suitors would be a good match, hmmm.
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Jack Howl
He would quickly catch on that subtle hints that dropped about him liking you didn’t work, which he understood. He just didn’t really know how to go about confessing. Most likely he would bring you that new book you were talking about earlier. His tail would be wagging like crazy, even though he’s trying to keep it under control. “Sofia? Can we… can we be more than friends? Would you like to go on a date… with me?”
Jack agrees that you’re very sweet, and likes that you’re so open-minded. He also appreciates that you’re polite, and matches that energy. He would understand why you could seem cold and ‘cruel’ when someone teases or otherwise crosses a boundary, and he doesn’t blame you. If you wanted he could take you away from those people and you could play with his ears to destress. 
He makes sure to stock up on milk whenever he’s out, and he just gives you a soft chuckle whenever he finds you drinking it. May also join you, but only having a small glass for himself.
Jack would join you in the kitchen and would try his best to be a good kitchen partner, grabbing any ingredients that you needed for that recipe you were trying out. “You’re really good at this, love. Oh, need me to reach that for you? Here you go.” He does worry sometimes about being so much taller than you, but thinks your small features are cute.
He would keep note of any sensory icks that you have, and support you. He understands that making deeper connections can be difficult, but he’s there for you. “Hey, I like spending time with you. I love spending time with you. I love you. All of you.”
Jack would love to join in for any painting and drawing sessions you have, but would also respect you if you would rather not show him, respecting any boundaries that you have. But if you did show him, his tail would be swaying back and forth, and he would be looking at you, “Beautiful.”
He thinks your accents, and walking on your tip toes, are endearing and would ruffle your hair. He would try to talk in one of those accents but just shakes his head. You're better at it anyways, he just thinks he sounds silly.
He would be a bit embarrassed that you would probably like his wolf form so much, but would let you pet him, and if you were okay with it, he would love to rest his head on your lap while you scratched at his ears. He would do this often if you told him about your love of werewolves, even though he isn’t one himself.
"You mean a lot to me, and I hope that I do to you. Thank you, for being yourself."
I hope you enjoy your match, Sofia. And likewise, I hope that you had a nice day! (I did have a nice writing, that was very sweet, thank you)
Jack would be very supportive and would be a sturdy, but comforting, shoulder to lean on. Also, whenever he sees you, even if it's just been five minutes, his tail would wag and his ears would perk up. I hope you enjoy your "good boi".
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type: emily prentiss x fem!reader
request: “emily taking you abroad for the first time” - part two ( click here for part one )
summary: in an attempt to rekindle your friendship with em, after she recently came back from faking her death, the two of you decide to take a vacation to europe, something that you both always wanted to do together. however, there was just one problem. you see, the two of you were unaware of your deeper feelings for one another, and the first destination on your trip was paris. a city known for its romantic atmosphere...
word count: 4.7k (this one’s a bit long lol)
warnings: slight cursing here and there, and mentions of eating. i think that’s it. it’s a little angsty, but not really. emily just gets a little jealous ;)
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You and Emily had been scanning the various shelves in La Belle Hortense, looking through the many books that aligned them, all while your hands still remained intertwined.
That was, until her fingers suddenly slipped from your grasp.
What was once both warm and comforting, was now growing cold with lonesome as you looked towards Emily in concern.
"Sorry," She immediately apologized, already missing the contact herself. "I just have to use the restroom. I'll be back in a few."
With that Emily hurried off, nearly knocking into people along the way. You chuckled to yourself, thinking back to the three glasses of wine that she had just finished not too long ago, compared to only your one glass. You didn’t know how she managed to stay sober, but clearly she was in need of some liquid courage just as much as you were.
As you waited for her return, you busied yourself with thinking about how you were going to tell Emily how you truly felt about her. Considering the dinner reservations she had made in advance, that just so happened to have a natural romantic atmosphere, you figured that would be the perfect time. Now you just had to figure out how you wanted to approach the conversation. I mean, you couldn't just randomly blurt "Emily, I love you." That would be too forward. However, you also didn't want to beat around the bush. You never knew when the opportunity would arise again and you were tired of waiting.
“Excusez-Moi, mademoiselle.” A sudden voice from behind interrupted you from your thoughts.
You turned around to see a man around your age, staring at you with a warm smile. His mocha complexion and freshly styled curls stood out amongst the neutral tones of the shop, and you couldn’t help but smile back.
“Would you like some help?” He offered, causing you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion. That was, until he gestured to your current position.
While deep in your thoughts about Emily, you subconsciously started reaching for a specific book on one of the taller shelves, however, it was obvious you couldn’t quite reach it. Emily probably could have gotten it for you but since she wasn’t here at the moment you gladly accepted his help.
“Oh, yes thank you! I mean—oui, merci!” You spoke in what you assumed was his native language, as you stepped aside for him to reach the book.
“Ah, an American. Don’t worry, I speak English.” He grinned, pulling the book down. “You’re on vacation I take it?” His accent was thick but you could understand him just fine.
“Yeah, something like that.” You chuckled, as you began playing with your fingers, something you did whenever you were nervous or anxious. “I’m here with a friend actually. We, uh, hadn’t seen each other in a while and wanted to catch up.”
“That’s sounds lovely! My husband actually just came back from visiting his home country and we have some catching up to do as well. I’m Léon, by the way.” He extended his hand, to which you gladly shook.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Y/n.”
“A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” He replied sweetly, not meaning for it to sound flirty. Though it definitely caught the attention of a certain brunette, who overheard him on her way back from the restroom. “I have to head to work for my shift now, but I would love to show you and your friend around the city during your stay if you’d like? Oh, I could be your personal tour guide!” He exclaimed.
You instantly sent him an apologetic smile, “Aw, thanks for the offer. That sounds like a lot of fun but—”
“—But she already has a personal tour guide.” Emily’s stern voice cut you off, as she stood with her arms crossed beside you. (Much closer than before, might I add.)
Your eyes widened at the obvious venom in her tone, and the way her eyes shot daggers at the man who was only being kind.
“Oh, you must be the friend!” He extended his hand once more, though Emily ignored it.
“Something like that…” She muttered under her breath.
Léon pulled his hand away awkwardly when she didn’t return the gesture, but he didn’t seem too offended by it.
Some people just don’t like germs. He thought.
Unable to withstand the newfound tension any longer, you cleared your throat and turned your attention back to him.
“It was lovely meeting you, Léon. However, I don’t want to make you late for your shift. Thanks again for the help.”
“Of course, the feeling’s mutual.” He replied, curtly, finally handing you the book. “You have exquisite taste in literature by the way. Ellis Avery is a wonderful author.”
With that, he gave you both one last smile before bidding you adieu, and walking out of the shop. As soon as he was gone, Emily scoffed and turned to look at you.
“What was that all about?” She questioned you, glancing up at the entrance like he would come back any moment.
You showed her the book in your hands as you scanned her expression, wondering why she was acting so…off.
“Nothing really. He was nice enough to grab this book for me because I couldn’t reach it, and then we just started talking. He’s really nice though, I think you would’ve liked him.”
“Hm, he sure liked you.” She mumbled, sarcastically, making you frown.
“Okay, what’s your problem?”
“I don’t have one.” She raised her hands in defense. “He just seemed like he was flirting with you, that’s all.”
At her words you were not only confused but also amused. Confused, because you didn’t understand why Emily had a problem with someone flirting with you. Amused, however, because for a profiler she apparently missed the wedding band on Léon’s ring finger as well as when he mentioned he had a husband.
That thought alone caused you to chuckle as you made your way over to the register in order to purchase your book, Emily following closely behind.
“He wasn’t even flirting, Em. You’re just being overprotective.”
“Yeah, whatever. What book were you trying to get anyway?” She asked in curiosity.
You hid your smile as you handed the book to her, somehow already knowing what her reaction was going to be.
“…The Last Nude?” She read aloud, as a blush adorned her cheeks. (Though not for the reason one would assume.)
“Yup.” You gave her a cheeky grin as you took it back from her and walked up to the counter. You could practically feel the fumes radiating from Emily as you paid for the book.
“If he isn’t flirting with you then why is he offering you books about nudity?!” She called after you, clearly not realizing what the book was really about.
You just laughed at her as the two of you left the store, deciding that you’d tell her the summary later. You were secretly enjoying her antics. If you didn’t know any better you’d think she seemed a little… jealous?
____________
Sometime later, the two of you made it back to your shared hotel room so that you could get ready for dinner. Emily called dibs on the shower first, so you opted for waiting patiently on the bed, while gazing down longingly at the portrait that Élise drew of you both.
The more you stared at the illustration, the more obvious it became that you were in deep. Like, head over heels deep. The type of depth that was accompanied with an overbearing weight in your chest, waiting to be relieved. Your secret feelings for Em had been weighing you down for years but finally you were ready to get it all off your chest. You were ready to confess those three little words to her.
“Shower’s all yours.” Emily said, walking out in nothing but a towel.
Your eyes instantly widened at the sight of her slightly exposed body, though you quickly averted them to the floor, not wanting her to catch you staring. She, however, smirked to herself, feeling like her plan had worked.
There was no way she’s thinking about that Léon dude now. She thought, as she watched your flustered self hurry into the bathroom.
Little did she know, you weren’t thinking about him at all. There was only one person constantly on your mind and that was the brunette herself.
Emily quickly got changed into a simple black dress that hugged her body in all the right places. She had curled her hair and applied some light makeup, finishing it off with bold red lip. Once she was done, she glanced back in the mirror one last time and her eyes locked onto the portrait that rested on the bed where you had left it.
Following in your pattern, she picked it up and stared at it, specifically at herself. The way she held your waist and looked at you with so much love and adoration made her feel a mixture of things. She wanted nothing more than to tell you how she felt about you but part of her felt like it would be better for the both of you if she didn’t. Not only was she afraid of messing up what you two had, she was also afraid that she wasn’t right for you.
She felt like you deserved someone better. Someone who wouldn’t leave you for seven months and lie to you about their past. Someone who you didn’t have to worry about losing to a killer when going to work each day. Someone who would always make you feel safe and loved no matter what.
Perhaps, someone who you actually loved back...
That last thought alone frustrated Emily. Why couldn’t you see the tremendous amount of love she had for you? The way her eyes lit up when you entered a room, or the way she melted inside when the two of you cuddled during your weekly movie nights. How about the way her heart would shatter into a million pieces at the sight of someone flirting with you, knowing that they could very well sweep you off your feet and destroy any chance she could’ve had with you?
The truth was, Emily didn’t want to feel that pain. She wanted to get over you so that way it wouldn’t hurt so much to see you with somebody else in the future.
Somebody that wasn’t her.
With a sigh, she placed the canvas face down on the bed so she wouldn’t have to look at it anymore. She made up in her mind that she had to let go of the thought of you two being something more. It was time to move on and push those feelings down, and for a moment she actually thought it would be possible to do.
However, once you walked out in a dark dress that accentuated every single one of your curves, Emily knew she was a goner. Those feelings that she had tried so hard to push down, managed to resurface again within the span of a second.
She was doomed.
___________
“So, where are we going for dinner?” You asked as the two of you rode in a taxi. Considering you both were in dresses, you decided to leave the Vespa back at the hotel.
“The Bateaux Parisiens!” She grinned with excitement. “It’s a sightseeing dinner cruise that travels down the Seine River. I had to get tickets in advance.” She boasted.
“That sounds expensive. You know you didn’t have to do all of this, Em. I would have been fine with getting a pizza or something.”
“Please,” She immediately waved you off like it was nothing. “I wanted to give you the best on this trip because you deserve it. We can get pizza back home anytime, but when do you ever get the chance to eat a fancy meal right next to the Eiffel Tower?”
You appreciated the gesture, and couldn’t lie that it didn’t sound like fun, but you still felt bad that Emily was paying for everything. She didn’t have to prove anything to you or feel the need to make up for faking her death, because you understood why she had to, and you hoped that she knew you weren’t holding any grudges.
Suddenly, she grabbed your hand, pulling you away from your thoughts. “It’s no big deal, Y/n. Stop overthinking it. I want this to be a special trip for you because it’s your first time traveling abroad, and that means I’m gonna make damn sure you experience the best.”
“It’s already the best, because you’re here with me.” You told her sincerely. “That’s what makes it special.”
With that, you squeezed her hand assuringly and turned to thank your driver as he parked the car. You somehow were oblivious to the fact that you just made Emily’s heart flutter, but she was even more in the dark not knowing what you had prepared to tell her over dinner.
The cruise itself was gorgeous, spacious and extending in such a great length that there had to at least be 100 tables scattered about. The two of you were seated in a timely fashion due to your reservation, and not too long after that you found yourself gazing down at the menu, trying your best to interpret the French wording. You were actually pretty fluent in speaking the language but you couldn’t quite master reading in it yet.
“You look beautiful by the way,” Emily softly spoke up from across the table, having taken more of an interest in staring at you than her own menu.
Blushing slightly, you accepted her compliment with a warm smile.
“Thanks, Em. You don’t look too bad yourself.” You winked, causing her to chuckle and nudge your leg teasingly from under the table.
The atmosphere was fun and lighthearted to anyone who glanced your way, but for the both of you, it felt more like a romantic yet completely nerve-wrecking tension. Emily couldn’t bare it any longer, the feelings she had contained for you were beginning to suffocate her and she needed to get them out so she could breath again. On the car ride here she had managed to do some thinking of her own and she realized that, as cliché as it sounds, you only get one chance in life. You never know when it will be too late and she learned that lesson the hard way when Doyle came back into the picture. This time however, you were right in front of her and there was no visible threat or anything else holding her back, so she knew the time was now.
“Y/n,” She cleared her throat, gaining your attention. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tel—“
“Bonne soirée, mesdames !” The waiter’s voice cut her off. “Puis-je vous commencer tous les deux avec un verre de vin ?”
The two of you looked up to greet him, and were immediately surprised to see Léon standing over your table.
“Oh, what a lovely coincidence!” He laughed, finally recognizing you. “Y/n, right?”
“Yup.” You nodded, before gesturing to the woman in front of you. “I don’t think you were properly introduced but this is Emily, my friend from earlier.”
“Wow, sure is a small world…” She mumbled sarcastically, as her jealousy came back full force.
Here she thought she was going to have a nice romantic dinner with you and finally confess her feelings but now she felt as if Léon being here ruined everything. That thought alone quickly caused her mood to change drastically at just the sight of him.
“I’ll have a glass of champagne, please.” You said, before turning to face her. “What about you, Em?”
“Whatever’s the strongest thing you have.” She answered, dryly.
______________
That was only the beginning of Emily’s change in attitude. Throughout the rest of the meal, she acted awful towards Léon, constantly giving a sarcastic or annoyed comment any chance she got. Not only that, but she would hardly even look at you anymore. Her vibe was completely off and it dampened your mood as well. There was no way you were going to tell her how you felt now. Your plan was ruined by her childish behavior and it angered you. I mean, you couldn’t even enjoy the amazing sights you passed while floating down the Seine River because Emily sat with a frown the whole time.
Finally, Léon came by one last time to deliver the receipt from your dinner bill. However, before he did so, he slid a note to you that didn’t go unnoticed by the brunette across from you. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, before opening up the note and reading it.
I’m pretty sure your ‘friend’ has a thing for you, which explains the jealous vibes and death glares she’s been giving me all night. Don’t worry, I didn’t take it personal. I actually found it quite amusing given the fact that I’m happily married to a man. It’s clear you feel the same about her though, so do us all a favor and just kiss already lol. Anyway, I hope that the City of Love will bring you two together ;)
Enjoy your vacation!
- Léon
You smiled to yourself, before folding it up.
Emily, on the other hand, accepted her credit card back and started packing up her purse without so much as a ‘thank you’ to him. You frowned at her actions, never seeing her act this way before. You didn’t know if Léon’s words were true and that she did reciprocate your feelings. But even so, she had no right to treat him so rudely, and you had enough.
“What the hell is your problem?” You whispered harshly, trying not to cause a scene.
“My problem?” She quickly scoffed. “My problem is that I tried to have a nice dinner with my best friend but our waiter ruined everything by flirting with you the whole time.”
“He wasn’t flirting, Em! He was just being friendly. He probably would’ve acted the same way towards you if you weren’t so occupied with giving him an attitude the whole damn night!”
“I can’t tell if you’re being naïve right now or just stupid but he literally gave you his number and you’re really gonna sit here and tell me that the guy doesn’t wanna get in your pant—”
Before she even finished her sentence, you stood up abruptly and slammed the note down on the table for her to read.
“He didn’t give me his number, Emily.” You spat, while using her full name. Something you only did when things got serious. “And he also didn’t ruin anything. You did.”
With that you walked away from the table and out of the docked boat, leaving Emily to sit there in guilt as she read over the note. You were right, and now she felt like the stupid one. She mentally cursed herself for letting her emotions and insecurities get the better of her. But if what Léon said in the note was true, then you just might love her back. That is, if she really didn’t just ruin everything like you said.
All the more so, she definitely wasn’t going to let the rest of the night be ruined by her unnecessary jealousy. She had promised you the best, and she’d be damned if she didn’t deliver on her promises. So with that thought in mind, Emily quickly placed a generous tip down on the table for Léon, before standing up and leaving to chase after you.
___________
Finding your way back to the hotel while walking, proved to be much more difficult than you presumed. You had no idea where you were going, but in all honesty, you didn’t really care for going back anyway. You needed a break and weren’t too keen on the idea of seeing Emily just yet. At least, not until the both of you cooled off. As a result, you now found yourself wondering down the cold and rainy streets of Paris at night, with nothing but the city lights guiding your way through the dark. 
Beginning to overthink the way you left things with Em, you started questioning whether or not you overreacted in the manner. I mean, she had done so much for you already during this trip, but the one and only thing she seemed to want was a nice dinner with you. It wasn’t your fault really that Léon was so friendly, but maybe you could have paid more attention to her? You had no idea what you could have done differently, but it didn’t matter.
What was done, was done.
Just then, the heavy rain started to pick up and you unfortunately hadn’t carried a coat with you. So, in order to take cover until it calmed down, you decided to look for the nearest shop that was open at that time of night. Turning your head left and right, everything around you was closed and you were beginning to grow desperate for a source of shelter. That was, until your eyes landed on a cake shop across the street, that still had lights on. Quickly, you ran inside, shivering as you looked around. Coincidently, it just so happened to be a desert shop, so it worked out in your favor because now you could get Garcia some macarons like you had promised her.
As you enjoyed sampling all the many macaron flavors with a smile on your face and not a care in the world, Emily on the otherhand, was frantically scanning the streets everywhere in search of you. She had originally went back to the hotel, only to find out that you weren't there, and she instantly grew worried that something had happened to you. She tried texting you but came up short when she remembered that the two of you promised to keep your phones off for the day. So with no way of contacting you, she felt helpless. Yet again, she started blaming herself for not being there for you when you needed her, and for not being what you deserved, just like she had felt during all those months she was in hiding.
With no place else to turn, and in dire need of a distraction, Emily decided that she would go to the one place in Paris that provided a sense of comfort for her while she resided there: Boulangerie Bonnie's - a bakery owned by one of the kindest most generous women she’s ever met.
That shop was such a special place for Emily, and she had actually planned on taking you there at some point during your stay. So, to say she was surprised to see you already sitting in there while in the middle of stuffing your face with a macaron, certainly would’ve been an understatement. Still, she was relieved nonetheless to find you all in one piece.
You were sitting peacefully on a stool near the counter, when you heard the sudden jingle of the door, notifying you that someone else had entered and you were no longer alone. Bonnie, whom you came to learn was the owner of the bakery, looked up to greet the customer, only to gasp in excitement.
“Ah, Amelia!” She exclaimed, moving from behind the counter in order to give the person a hug.
You heard the two women quietly conversing, but chose not to rudely interrupt them. Instead you picked up the last piece of the raspberry macron on your plate, and brought it to your mouth in order to finish off the savory treat. However, just as you were ready to bite down on it, a familiar voice from behind you haltered you movements. 
“Y/n...” Emily spoke up, warily. Her sultry voice was only above a whisper, but it was still enough to make your heart skip a beat.
You slowly turned around to see her standing there with an apologetic look on her face. Her clothes were soaked from the rain and you wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in your arms and warm her up, but you refrained from doing so, as difficult as it was.
“How did you find me?” You asked her, as you stood up from your seat.
“Oh, you two know each other?!” Bonnie looked between you both with a smile. “Amelia, used to stop by here almost every night.” She told you with a chuckle. Apparently, Amelia was one of Emily’s cover names while she lived here. “She always went on and on about missing some girl back home and how she needed cookies to comfort her. Said they reminded her of the one she loved--”
Emily quickly cleared her throat, awkwardly, causing Bonnie to stop ranting. It was now obvious to you that Emily was referring to you all the times she came there. (Let’s just say, JJ had her Cheetos, and you had your Oreos or any other cookies you could get your hands on. It was your comfort snack and it soon became Emily’s too.) That’s why she always asked for them. They were the closest thing she could have that reminded her of you. 
Bonnie looked at her confused, wondering what she said wrong, before she finally put two and two together.
“You’re the mystery woman!” She gasped as she looked at you. “Oh my goodness! I feel like I’m in a Nicholas Spark’s movie! Let me leave you two alone--”
“That won’t be necessary, Bonnie.” You cut her off, though in a kind manner. “I was actually just leaving. Thanks again for the treats.” You got up and tried to move past Emily but she held onto your arm, preventing you from doing so.
“It’s still raining hard out there. Are you sure you don’t want me to get us another taxi? You’re gonna catch a cold.”
“I’ll take my chances.” You muttered, before ripping your arm free from her grasp. You exited the bakery, immediately being drenched by the downpour.
You felt like a fool for not listening to Emily, but you were known for your stubbornness, and continued walking anyway. You still had no idea where you were going, but you would find your way eventually.
“The hotel’s that way.” She called out after you, making you pause. Now it was your turn acting childish as you begun walking the correct way, but ignoring her completely.
“Y/n, please just talk to me.” She tried again, running to catch up with you. “I’m sorry, alright? I was a bitch and I had no right to act like that towards Léon. You were right, he was just being friendly.”
At her words, you turned around abruptly to face her.
“Why did you act like that anyway?” You questioned her, already knowing the answer.
You were testing her, and she knew it. At this point, you were both aware of the feelings that you had for each other, now it was only a matter of who would be the one to say those three little words first. 
“I was jealous...” Emily whispered as she walked closer to you. “However, like I said, I know that I had no right to be because, well, you’re not mine.” She mumbled, nervously. “But...”
“But?” You repeated, hopefully, locking eyes with her.
Your mood had completely calmed down just from the tone of her voice, and the truth was you had already forgiven her the moment she stepped into the bakery looking like a helpless wet puppy.
“But I’d like you to be.” She finished, with a newfound confidence, making you smile. “Because I’m in love with you Y/n, and I have been since the day you walked into the BAU acting like you owned the place.” She chuckled at the memory. “And since I ruined everything tonight, I was hoping you could give me another chance and allow me to take you on a proper date?”
“You didn’t ruin everything, Em.” You told her sincerely, as you stepped forward and placed your hands on both sides of her face. “You just made this trip 100 times more special.” 
Without wasting another second, you closed the small distance between you both and kissed her with so much passion that you felt butterflies in the pit of your stomach.
This was it. This was the moment you both had been wanting for years. It was just you, and her, and the ultimate cliché of kissing the one you love in the rain, but with the added bonus of having the Eiffel Tower shining brightly from behind you. This trip was definitely something you would always remember, because Emily promised you the best and you’re damn right she delivered.
“Je t'aime.” You whispered lovingly, as you both pulled away.
“Je t’aime.” She repeated with a cheesy grin. “Tu es l'amour de ma vie.”
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a/n: not too happy with the ending scene, because for someone who’s a sucker for romance i’m terrible at writing it lol but i hope you liked it nonetheless. i had no idea where to take this story since i never planned on writing a second part but who doesn’t love a little jealous emily? <3
taglist: @reids187iq @ughilovesupergirl @crindy123 @avogotyournumber @yipyipjemily @madmaddi-1 @romanoffprentiss @nocreditinthestraightworld @taralewiz @aemilycarterwood @ssajemilyprentiss @spencers-renaissance @kgkoana @pricklycriminal @jj-arms @utterlycomplicated @ssaprentisswifey @maxinish @onlyalittlebumblebee @sweetprentiss
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Riddles and Movies - Chapter 1
Fandom: the Lost Boys.
Pairing: Paul x Oc
Warnings: mentions of horror and capture.
A/N: a new series! I'll try to upload every two or three days. Until then, my ask box is open!
......................................................
Sometimes, when the moon would hide behind clouds or when the sea would turn red instead of black in the night. When the stars shined just a little brighter than normally, and when the night was more quiet than usual... On those nights, there would be magic in the air. Not the practical magic that witches practised, no. It was the kind of magic that gave you what you needed - not what you wanted. It was the kind of magic that would fulfil wishes in a way no one really quite understood.
At a certain Tuesday night, it was such a night. A night filled with magic. The Lost Boys had returned to their cave after a night of hunting, hanging out on the boardwalk and messing with the locals. They'd been doing whatever it was they normally did when the conversation turned to girls - and eventually permanent girls.
"You ever thought about settling down?" Paul looked at the others. He laid on the couch, a joint in his hands.
"What? With a girl?" Marko burst out in laughter. "Nope. Why would I wanna settle down? Pretty much every girl in town would open her legs for me."
"Just thinking man," Paul shrugged.
"You really wanna settle down and get married and all that?" it was David who looked at him.
"At some point, yeah. Maybe. Is that such a big deal?"
"She gotta turn into one of us then. Goodluck with that."
Paul chuckled, shaking his head. "Nah, if I find a girl, that won't be a problem, man."
"Why would you want it so badly, anyway?" Marko asked his brother.
"I don't know, man, I'm just getting bored."
- ---------
It wasn't that unusual that Max hired new girls in his store. Some randomly quit, others became dinner... So, when the boys walked in a week after their conversation and saw a new girl working behind the counter, they weren't that surprised.
The girl was pretty, though. She had copper blonde hair, a bit of a mess due to the waves she had. She had grey eyes, sometimes looking as if she captured the clouds in them. She wore little to no make-up, just a light brown eyeshadow and a thin line of eyeliner. She wore some summer dress, a jean jacket on top of it. She seemed like a country-girl, sweet and innocent, but not minding to get her hands dirty when needed.
When she noticed the boys, she smiled as a greeting and continued her work. That was a first. Most of the time, the new girls either threw themselves at the boys or went out of their way to avoid them - most not even looking at them. This acknowledgement, and yet the distance she kept, was new. Did she not realise they were something else? Most people, om a subconscious level, knew - they knew the boys were dangerous. But she didn't seem bothered by it, not one bit.
"So, are you new here?" Paul leaned on the counter, looking at her
"Does that line actually work for you?" She asked, a British accent shining through. She paid little to no attention to him.
"Who's asking?"
"I am," she answered with a grin. "And you are?"
"Paul. Do I get your name?"
"Nope."
She turned around, shelving some tapes. Paul stood there, a little dumbfounded.
"No?" Once again, that was a new one.
"Hmm. Why would I tell you my name, Paul?"
"It's only fair, isn't it? Seeing you know mine. Also, if you're gonna hang with us, it's nice to know what to call you. Babe gets old quickly."
She chuckled, and looked at him. "Who says I want to hang out with you?"
"You wound me, babe." Paul chuckled, liking her. The girl smiled and turned back to her work.
"How about a game?"
"A game?"
"Yes. You have three days to figure out my name. Every single night, you have three guesses. After the guesses, you can ask 1 hint. If you know my name before the three days are over, you know my name, and I will willingly hang out with you. If you don't, however, you'll leave me alone. Deal?"
Paul grinned. He liked where this was going, and he knew he would guess her name. If he really didn't know it he could ask Maria or Max. He would win.
"Deal."
"So, guess."
"What now?"
"Yeah. Or do you want to miss a day?"
"No! You seem like a-" he looked at her, "A Betty."
She burst out in laughter. "Betty? We're no longer in the fifties, Paul."
"Heather?"
"Jeez... Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, will ya?"
"That's a no then."
"One more guess, Paul." the girl grinned, walking back to the counter.
"Sally?"
"Do I look like a Sally?"
"I don't know, babe. Now, give me my hint."
"Greedy much, huh?"
"It's not like you make it easy for me."
"Indeed, well, if you want your hint... It's not just a human name."
- ---------
"So, you and that chick huh?" The boys were walking back to their bikes, ready to hunt and go back home for the night.
"She's cool, I guess." Paul looked at Dwayne.
"You know her name yet?"
"No. All she said was that it wasn't just a human name."
"So, you're looking flowers and animals?"
"Yeah."
"You like her."
"Yeah."
"You're fucked man."
Paul chuckled, nodding. "Yeah."
- -----------
"I know your name!" Paul ran in, looking at the girl in front of him.
"Oh yeah?"
"It's either Rose or Violet."
"Wrong, both of them. Sorry." She smiled.
"Narcissa?"
"Nope."
"I owned a hint."
"Yeah, you need it," she chuckled, lookin at Paul.
"That's just rude."
"Oh I'm so sorry, Paul," she grinned, looking at him. "My hint for today is that it's not flora."
Paul looked confused. "Yeah, that will help."
"Just think. This one is quite obvious."
"For you."
Paul left the store, leaving the girl alone. She chuckled, looking after him. Part of her actually hoped he would guess it right. He was fun, more sincere than the rest of the boys she met in this town, and something about him just drew her in. She'd see, maybe if he was wrong, she'd relent, hanging out with him still.
- ----------
"Is it Raven?"
"No. You see me tapping at your chamber door?"
"Cute. Cat- or Catherine?"
"Ooh, not even close."
He looked at her with a pained and worried expression.
"Fuck, I- I think I have no choice but to stop fucking with you, Fawn." he had trouble keeping the grin from growing on his face.
"Damn. You guessed it," she grinned, looking at him. "You didn't happen to ask Max, right? Cause I will find out and you will pay."
"I wouldn't dare to, babe. I played it fair and square. So, when are you off?"
"In an hour."
"Good. Meet me outside."
Fawn nodded, looking as Paul left the store. She couldn't help but smile. The next hour passed quickly, and after closing the videostore, she met up with Paul.
"Come on," Paul grinned, dragging her onto the rollercoaster and the ferris-wheel. He pulled her into the haunted mansion and took her to the carousel. She had to admit, this was the most fun she had had in a while.
"So," Fawn looked at him as they sat down at a small diner. "You got three brothers, and you like horror. What else?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Curiosity, I guess."
"You like movies?"
Fawn nodded.
"Then, this time I make you a deal. I pick a horror movie, one for every night of the week. We watch al 7 of them. If you get so scared by one of them that you can't sleep you will go out on a date with me, and I tell you whatever I want about myself."
"You could just ask me on a date right now."
"Ah, but you wouldn't say yes. I'm still a complete stranger."
"Touche," Fawn chuckled, although if she was completely honest, she probably would have said yes. "And what about the other way? If I win?"
"You decide."
Fawn was quiet and grinned. "You got yourself a deal, Paul."
The nights that followed were everything but what Paul expected. He had assumed by her looks that Fawn was not a horror loving chick. Boy was he wrong. The first night he had picked Hellraiser, and instead of being afraid, she began to judge the people in the movie. The second movie, the latest Nightmare on Elmstreet, wasn't much more successful. It was the sixth night when he came in with a movie he was certain would scare her. He was playing dirty, but hey, no one said he couldn't.
"So what are we watching?"
"Child's play."
"O-okay," she said, feeling a little uncomfortable. She'd never liked that movie.
As they watched the movie, Paul kept a close eye on her, knowing that he should stop the movie when she got too scared.
Halfway through the movie she buried her face in his shoulder so she didn't have to see what was happening on the screen. Paul stopped the movie, and pulled the girl close. "I so hate dolls," she mumbled, looking at him.
"I know."
"Wha- you- you cheating basterd! You asked Max, didn't you?"
"I won!" Paul cheered as he was slammed in the face with a pillow.
"You cheated!"
Paul grinned, slowly pulling her in for a kiss. "What if I did?" He looked at her. "Would you be okay with this?"
She nodded, kissing him back.
- -----------
It was a week later, and Fawn had spent her first night at the boys. Paul was out feeding - unknown to her - and she was alone with the others.
"Guys, why are you staring at me?" she asked quietly. She sat on the couch, and ever since she did so, the three others had been looking at her. It wasn't just the boys looking at her that made her feel uneasy. Something else, something heavier and darker, was actively making her feel sick.
"We just want to see who our brother's getting involved with."
She nodded quietly. It was understandable. Back at home, some of her friends and her had done the same when a new partner would enter their little group. "Okay."
She sat there for a while, slowly starting to feel sick. "I dont feel so well," she said, noticing that the boys didn't look too good either. "What's going on?" She was turning paler, sickly. She stood up to get some water, stumbled forward, and fell. As she did, several meters away Paul dropped as well. After that, before the boys could reach her, they too fell unconscious.
--------
David was the first to open his eyes. He noticed his four brothers in the same cell as he was. In the cell next to theirs laid Fawn, curled up and beaten black and blue.
"Fawn?"
"I am so sorry," she whimpered quietly, looking at him, before falling unconscious once again.
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z3i3ra · 5 years
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Abu: she is. She is going to Iraq. Who does that?
Me: someone who really cares about you
Abu: oh someone that is going to save me from myself?!
Idk that i was ever askedto go as an adult before. I said it was time when Obama brought van loads to my actual fucking house. I still don't know,what the fuck he thought. I haven't fully processed the memories. But I was all, i think this is enough people for an army to fight back now let's go.
And he was all uhhh we aren't going back to Iraq we just got here
And me and Abu were all uh hello, yes because now it's time to start the war. Every One got energized to go home so now,we give them,weapons and,say kill or stay. And,let's go back home to our families!
Like literally that went back through my head twice.
But really I said I had to go get my daughter (who was home) and I was freaked the fuck out cause i had amnesia and so I was gonna go around to the back door and try to get back inside through the back door by getting my daughter to open it, as i had locked the front door on purpose.
I never told anyone, i think, that but it was quite a sight all those vans and all these military and some President Obama look alike.
My first instinct was to lock my door and close it. Having only a phone it was easy to text or call her.
But instead the President Obama was all uh no what you mean you locked your keys,in the door?
And he told me to,text her and i was all ok so i text "help me please, unlock the front door it's been all a mistake"
But i didn't send it. In my mind i was all text is like write. He said text but not send
I was on challenge to this dude "Hello i am the American President, is Sabrina home"
Uhh. No the President shoukd know 2 people live here and what we look like before he just shows up knocking. Nope noooope nope. I am not home. "Yes, how" door lock activated and first step outside the door "may i help you?" Door slams shut.
I mean he knew i hadn't sent it. Some dude with a laptop was right there and all. It was a literal on my porch war with the fucking President, in my mind, who was getting to,my daughter first.
"This is the stand off. Mr President, sir!!"
"Would you look at her, ready to attack me"
"Look here, her twin brother predicted it. She doesn't know you and You just arrived on her porch like a God send but she is looking at you like a wolf who has stolen her babies and instead to steal more"
If a war can be spoken with facial expressions, I won.
"Okay what else do i need to know"
"The name of the game is who can get in the house first. Ready set go!"
"Dont send the text message. What ever you do. I got everything under control here" dude had no clue, he was the enemy.
I already hit send as soon as,he said Go like,those Chinese crazy,games you gotta go through obstacle courses... Yeah I was already winning. I'm all getting cheers just at the very end, could i make it???
My breath is a fucking war. Obama is belting out commands but all i can hear is my own breathing but all i needed was the tiny rattle of the lock of the door knob.
I heard the dead bolt lock me out "SHIT!" Then it unlocked "OH MY GOD, YES!!" "Now one more please baby come on"
Obama turned to the laptop guy to see whst the Hell i was on about because Matt had said that was our only tool and brain and i was staring at my screen praying. "Idk sir, all I heard--"
"CHEATA!!" I flew past Obama and stood in front of the door that my daughter not only unlocked but also turned the knob to crack it open so i just had to push it all the way.
I covered the doorway by spreading my arms out "MINE"
"Its locked anyway" obama turned away, the boys heifted out the air conditioner at the same time. I spun all ballerina and shut the door and locked it, bent over at the window and said "hiiii" the military dude peeking in, fell into my house onto the floor cause i had him straight fucked up.
"Could you put the air conditioner back in please?"
The bewildered Military dude, secret service was all "if you tell me how you did that"
"Mothers instinct, maybe"
"Well, I'll put it back in anyway"
"But could you do it from the outside? I want to see if you could. Thank you"
He obliged and i locked myself in the house. Until they called Matt and asked how to get me out to talk. He said "call her cell phone"
So they did and i saw Obama out the window. "Stand on one leg" i said while unlocking the door as silent as possible (I randomly practice) "like a flamingo"
"Is this how a flamingo stands? His head turned away from my house, so i slipped out and held the door knob behind me,not all the way closed but it looked like it.. But I could push it back in and escape.
Secret service turned around in shock "how did she...."
I won. When you surprise secret service at least 2x in less than 10 minutes... You win. Especially when everyone on the porch's jaw drops open.
"5 out of 5. I guess i won this place. Yall can close your mouths now"
Obama does not like to lose. I think especially to a girl.
"Oh you'll get used to it. Watxh the video"
So they watched the video and all and the most shocked secret service had figured out how i knew when to go in but said it wss all shocking the same. The other one doing the heavy lifting hadn't noticed anything.
And Obama was so mad
"And yes Obama that was the flamingo"
"Alright, I'm done here, let's go. We will talk to the coty and see if they can stay here and we will get something sanctioned. Come on Abu, lets get you to a hotel"
"Uhm, really?!!? But no i want to know why first or i let them out the van and the first one that dies is you" replied an ecstatic Abu.
"I know I'm not about to die I tell you what" I muttered under my breath "and there's just two of us here and one is a kid"
"No, i want to know we will be free and you will not send us back to Iraq. Then, i will go with you"
"Oh Abu that paperwork is already being processed"
I still didn't know whst was going on but this dude all up on the President with a heavy accent all 'bitch i aint doing shit, yo' i was all dam that was way sexier than I ever expected to see on the porch of my house.
My face was on a new war, winning this young stud. I don't know who could tell but i think he could.
The observant secret service said for me not to continue to drool but I was all okay I'll stare dreamily. Total sexual harassment out my face. And Abu was not going to resist apprehension. And his pants were becoming to small at the waist.
So all these secret services and the President all just sat there and watched the young stud gain a boner and i heard the front door open.
I threw the white flag, my kid didn't need to see that. Oh but Abu was not done with the war, being at the far end of the porch, furthest away from me, he threw jealousy down.
Now Today 10 and half years later he doesnt bother to open any door to his house for me.
Anyways. So Jeremiah had agreed the year before that if i could outwit the secret service somehow in under 25 minutes then every one could be set free. But it had ti be the secret service and it had to be 21-24 minutes for everyone in Iraq and for everyone in the vans. At 25 minutes, no one. And under 21 minutes anyone already set free including the vans.
1400 had already been released on escaping terms and 5000 remained in the cells.
I had to beat amnesia to get the rest out. At least 3 pregnancies and finding my mom at her location.
So I did it.
All those greedy selfish people i had to yell at at the NHRA. I had to. I worked every single day. Every single day to repair my brain 99% on my own. It had to be 85% not including legal drugs.
Even the Queen agreed but stated she must be dead before any press releases could be stated about her involvement. And i had to pick her successor.
So yay!!! I did it under 12 years.
But also I wish I could done it sooner.
I fought every single day.
Every single day. My mind wss on my mind.
No matter what it took. I always felt that. It was the most important thing in the world. An urgency that took over my entire being.
God gave me great pain so i was unable,to leave my bed so i could focus and break all barriers and do it even without his help.
I even became suicidal, homicidal, crazy feeling, all sorts of horrible things
Yet I cannot compare it to the intensity of being kidnapped and broken. Tortured nearly constantly. And having to work for a slave labor.
In words it seems the same. But in my still somewhat broken mind i dont see it that way.
Because what I did was break free. And i see these people in shackles. Giving up as i did multiple times. But bot just giving up for a day or week while still looking and,grasping. But i see people who lost hope.
How coils they not? I know i would, just keep my head down and work, stay out of trouble and try the best i can to keep shelter over my head and food in my belly and have,the faith that that would work to,keep,me,alive another day.
Again, in words, it sounds almost the same. But i had a job I picked,a house I picked, my own child, a car.
I had freedom. I had freedom to stop, i had freedom to quit. I could do anything in the world I wanted. And no one could stop me, beat me, or anything.
I had full control over my life and it's contents. Over what i ate or didn't n wheere i got it from.
So,while on paper it sounds as though our struggles are the same, the struggles of the human trafficking victims and their families do not compare; theirs are much greater.
Doing what i did on my own the way i have. It has brought extreme advancement to the medical community.
But when I look at the sea of faces, my heart and mind connect and tell me, it is not over. My eyes tell me, what you have suffered, they will, too.
And I know i can't take that pain they will have in the future away. It hurts my heart to know what I've gone through, mentally, in my life and know they Likley will as well.
But I just hope and pray that we are different enough, the human trafficking victims and I that they will have the happiness I have sought for myself and my own daughter.
And when i do, i see people hugging, i see people holding each other through some of the toughest best times of their lives. I see people together.
And i know, im likely an over protective mother, seeing all these people as her babies with all the last instructions about not forgetting to turn off the stove, or turning the pot handles in so you don't accidentally hit it and waste your food if you dont have a dog or a small child dumping boiling water on their heads.
Its not like sending them to college... Its like sending them home.
Homes that .... I've lived in nearly 40 houses. And None were the same. Except the constant battles and abuse from relatives that weren't mine.
That is why i am so thankful to London for sparing DNA kits that have been administered to all victims and will be administered to families all over the world. ASAP
Abu for hiding away Money and buying things for celebrations.
The governments for really listening, finally and helping all these families.
I know this is the first stage and so much more needs to be done. But as I put my head down to work, I know it will. Get done.
Because I've worked too hard,for too long for it to stop now.
Abu reminds me how i had a fear od public speaking. How i refused to fight. Others tell me how I was mute for years.
I came from nothing. And we're not throwing these victims out a plane without a parachute.
I've always known everyday my work wasn't just for me. It went beyond me. Beyond any thing i could see.
Know i know why
So twin matt splice this up into this,mornings email and then snoopy add this song.
VA contact my dad. He still,needs to pack. I probably have to repack my kid for warm weather clothes.
We got shit to do. What yall sitting looking at me for?
Add nickleback far,away and photograph. Doug has,these practiced so snoop sings along and alter some slight phases like the demand to stop breathing.
Wanted you to say to "stay" Steph also knows the words.
Photograph add in "when I get home" between the lines like how we do Rudolph the red nose reindeer. Batman wheels and all that. ... Will the school throw me out? No.
So,Snoop pick you want the songs or the add ins., I wanna push you to meet the tone of the songs original way to sing it So that it's US understanding the victims pain.
Then the victims reassure us woth the add ins that every thing will be okay.
So ALL the victims ...
"Criminal records broke 2x" a haha from the band then a repeated haha from the crowd so a repeated chord from Doug or jist a pause. His choice.
Should I try to go back and graduate "we ARE Free to CHOOSE"
"Wouldn't let me back in" go online!
......
Abu, Matthew. Hondo. Gherie, you already know. But some of you all need to understand "Far Away" from nickleback.
It was written for you.
Many songs were thanks to my great influence in the 90s on the music industry.
Thank you
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Janis & Grace
Janis: Is the baby still at ours? Janis: Iggy just told me Janis: What's going on Grace: They came and got her not long ago Grace: It's wild! Grace: How much did Iggy even tell you, like omg?! Janis: You know, he's Mr. CCC about fucking everything Janis: if any of the rest of yous had said something, I'd have thought you was taking the piss Janis: Is she even allowed to do this? Janis: Last I heard was Rio wants the baby back and Junie don't want it Janis: Ma just standing there holding it like umm 😂 Grace: Exactly why I let him do the honors Grace: Obvs! The baby came out of her she can do what she wants Janis: I dunna, surely Demi gets a say Janis: This is fuuuuucked, man Grace: Duh! He's still her dad Grace: They'll have to share Grace: Awkward Janis: Literally, how is that gonna work Janis: if Junie's dumping him Janis: Fucking hell, do we still have to have him over for family functions Grace: Idek Grace: Doubt it. Buster doesn't parade his exes around at them Grace: It'll be like that, I guess Janis: 🙄 Janis: As if they weren't becoming enough of a who's who of has beens Janis: Dying Janis: Why did they think this was a good idea, again? Grace: I'm like, did they even? Junie obvs didn't Grace: Ugh Grace: Only this family omg Janis: Well that's a whole 'nother situation Janis: he's JUST had his 22nd, literally yesterday Janis: and it's his first boyfriend Janis: Yeah, time to go get a baby and a ring Janis: Ma and Pa got 'em fucked up Grace: So true Grace: It's cringe that that's ancient by ma's standards, babes Grace: And that this fam can't go a year without bringing the drama Grace: Remind me of all this if I ever ask you to have a baby for me Janis: Literally bitch, we was cooking by then Janis: she's insane, not a role model, like Janis: Ha, you'd never Janis: Could turn out like me Janis: You'd die Grace: omg ew Grace: let's cancel that idea forever Grace: by the time I get a new man you'll have 4 with barista boy anyways obvs Grace: no room in the oven, honey Janis: Planning on taking forever, are ya? Janis: 🤢 Leave off Grace: Yeah. Single and loving it, thank you, bitch Grace: You're gonna make loads of cute babies with him and you know it Janis: Good, 'cos how embarrassing to have your baby drama overshadowed by Ri's like Janis: Can't have that Janis: Nu-uh, count me on team Junie, for the first time in probably ever, like Grace: Sure Jan Grace: I'll believe that when I see it Grace: 😂 Janis: See the lack of babies dropping out me, like Grace: I'll see you pushing a twin pram Grace: 💕 Janis: Oh no Janis: Can you imagine Janis: War flashbacks Janis: Not again Grace: I thought Ri was gonna have twins Grace: Double the drama Janis: Could take one each and bounce, tho Janis: Be helpful now Grace: OMG Grace: One randomly has a american accent too Grace: Amazing Janis: Demi would love it Janis: The theatrics Janis: He can't even deny it Grace: I wonder if he'll still go to Paris Janis: I would Janis: What's he going to do here? Janis: God I hope so, can't deal with the moping and shit Grace: Um, be a dad like he was so desperate too, I'd hope Janis: Yeah how bad he gonna want that now he can't have his designer gaybie Grace: He still has her though Grace: Rio isn't going to stop him seeing her or anything Janis: It ain't the same though, is it Janis: Not the dream he was buying into Grace: Duh, but if he wants Venus as badly as he said he did then he'll have to cope Janis: Nah Janis: don't reckon it was about her Janis: All about the lifestyle Janis: like a small dog in a designer handbag, init Grace: How rude Grace: I hope you're wrong Grace: Poor baby Janis: Meh, she'll be looked after Janis: Jay's better without her Ma Grace: But Demi isn't as bad as that, is he? Grace: For real like Janis: I don't know Janis: Never really talked to him tbh Janis: He's annoying Grace: He is A LOT Grace: And that's from me Janis: 😂 Janis: Such a good match with Junie, like Janis: fuck's sake, boy Grace: Opposites might attract but they never stick Grace: Has he never read a magazine, god Grace: Obvs not Janis: Cosmo ain't really his speed, babe Janis: Shoulda clued him in Grace: Yeah right! I didn't want to tell you all of this in case you didn't believe, imagine the vibe if I tried to school him on his love life Grace: And with my past boyfriends Grace: ugh Janis: Fair, and if I showed up and heard a screaming brat, I'd be straight back out the door, like Janis: Yeah, but he's even more clueless than you, like 😜 Grace: Liar, you love being a sister-in-law to your bae's sibs Grace: And she's such a cutie 😍 Grace: Excuse you! You better mean I've got the film aesthetic down, bitch Grace: I'm woke Janis: They don't cry, much Janis: and can both wipe their own arses Janis: I can deal with that, like Janis: Sure, sure 😂 just saying, did he need such a rude awakening? couldn't just realise he weren't the one before dragging a kid into it Grace: Where's the lie, girl? Grace: Had that scare myself though, so can't shade too hard Grace: Even though I am 😈 Janis: Boys Janis: So clueless, so stupid Janis: Not that Rio comes out looking much better but Janis: Hopefully we can get out of this without having to involve the law or the social 🤞 lads Grace: Literally! I'm not trying to go on a chatshow with this weave Grace: Trackies are more your vibe Janis: Gonna ask why, but now I get it Janis: Scared I'll snatch it live on air Grace: That or kick off and kick out at me in last season's nike air Grace: So shaming babe Janis: Fuck off 😂 Janis: whatever I'm wearing cost twice as much as your overpriced topshop garbage Grace: Hence I'm not showing myself up like on air Grace: Catch me in labels or leave me out Janis: Unless you wanna fuck Nance Janis: the rich cousins are claimed Grace: EWW Grace: There are enough websites advertising sugar daddies if I can't pay my own bills Grace: no need to go gay or keep it in the family thanks Janis: I dunna, sounds like you wanna fill Ri's stripper shoes to me Janis: Take her place 'til she works of the baby weight Janis: No one would notice Grace: Girl you better stop! I don't have the body for that Grace: Even with baby weight she'd earn more in tips like Janis: Yeah, you're so butterz like Janis: its alright, pixels hide many sins Janis: and they've gotta be at least a little short-sighted with all the wanking they do Grace: OMG shut up Grace: So gross Grace: Like I haven't had enough online drama to fill a life Janis: I mean, was thinking it was quite the #brand switch-up but Janis: gotta get that viewer engagement baby Grace: 🙄 Janis: Please tell me Rio's gonna change its name tho Grace: What would she even choose tho? Grace: it's not that bad Grace: Heard more cringey ones Janis: Its awful Janis: Full on stripper name Janis: least give the kid a choice about it, like, eurgh Grace: What are you gonna name all your barista boy babies? I'm dying to know Grace: And judge Janis: Please Janis: I told you, not happening, so I ain't thought about it, have I? 🙄 Grace: 😂 Grace: You so have Janis: Bitch no Janis: You were always in to knocking poor Barbie and co up Janis: not me, bitch shoulda kept living lavish Grace: You can do both Grace: Get with the times, babes Janis: Bullshit Janis: That's a lie yummy mummy's say to feel better about the fakeness of their labels, trust Grace: Mum did okay, hardly living in a cardboard palace, are we? Grace: And she had loads, I'm not thinking you'll go that hard Janis: Imagine how mint you'd have it as an only child though Janis: or if she had none Grace: Believe me I have Janis: Unlucky Janis: even if you were riding solo you're still #7 Grace: Lucky 7 😇 Janis: If that makes you feel better, babe 😂 Grace: How soon do you think we're gonna all have to roll out and see the baby? Grace: It's gonna be soooooooooooo awkward Janis: Hopefully we'll just smooth over it like we do everything, eh Grace: Gonna have to take back all my yay gay & I love my two daddies gifts Janis: Good Janis: Vom inducing much Grace: Demi would've gushed and you know it Janis: Didn't take much Janis: #loose Grace: You're so savage about him Grace: You didn't even know him you said Janis: He was a prick, didn't need to look hard, or listen, to see it Grace: 🙄 Janis: If he was a top bloke Janis: Wouldn't have made Junie have a kid with him Grace: But you didn't know that's what he was doing, don't lie that hard, babe Janis: Yeah, I ain't saying that Janis: He's just an annoying cunt, standard Janis: but now we see the whole truth of it Grace: That boiling hot tea Janis: Just glad its another one off the Christmas card list Grace: Ugh true, can't treat myself and all of you Grace: Poor Junior though, his birthday is trash now Janis: Dunna why you bother, we're still young enough to not get side eye over it Janis: I got it fuck all, like Janis: Yeah, bad timing, worse luck forreal Grace: He should be loving life with uni over Grace: So tragic Grace: 💔 Janis: Is he ever loving life Janis: Let's be real Grace: Ouch Grace: You've got a point though Janis: The facade is gone now though Janis: He'll have to deal with his shit like the rest of us Grace: mhm Grace: 👏 Janis: This fucking family Grace: Your bf has it worse tho, his dad is a proper headcase, right? Janis: Yeah, he's a right cunt Grace: Seems like it from the little one's vibe Grace: He doesn't like you still either, how rude Grace: never gonna let you 💍 in Janis: Yeah, you know your a right tosser when even kids don't fuck with you Janis: Idc, I'm unlikeable Grace: 😂 Thanks for letting me off saying it Grace: You lovebirds need your own place Janis: 🖕 Janis: Working on it Janis: May as well wait to see where we go for college tho Grace: Yeah Grace: If he gonna do photography? He's really gifted at the snaps Janis: Yeah Grace: Make sure he doesn't forget my clout Grace: Or willingness as a subject Janis: 😏 Janis: how could he forget Grace: SHUT UP Grace: you know what I'm saying, bitch! Janis: 👌 Janis: got it, calling all men in need of muses, like Grace: 🙄 Grace: You doing a night walk with your dog squad later? Janis: Yeah, why, you scouting for 🐶 talent? Grace: I'm just asking if I can come with or is 3 humans a crowd 💘 Grace: The gym was such a non-event today 😭 Janis: You can come with Janis: No doubt Jim will think I'm bullshitting so you can fill him in on this ridiculousness Grace: yay Grace: he might not believe this face either even though it's one of a 😇 obvs Janis: Overcome with a pressing need to take your photo, we get it, bitch 😜 Grace: 😂 Grace: Not hard to compete with your resting bitch face, babes Janis: Please Grace: And I don't need to hear how much he loves your O face before you go there, thanks Grace: TMI with the 🏩 antics Janis: You're the one who brought it up, babe Janis: 🤷 kinda sounds like you want the goss Grace: Please Grace: I just know how nasty you are Janis: Now you just sound jealous 😂 Grace: I said I love being single not that I love not getting any Grace: Excuse me Janis: 😬🤢 Janis: definitely did NOT ask Janis: gross Grace: You can cope Janis: Hmm Janis: Barely Grace: Pablo's literally tripped over you and your boy sooo many times Grace: but I'm the gross one, okay sure Janis: Maybe he's the gross one then Janis: Clearly doing it on purpose, weirdo Grace: Or maybe you are Grace: Exhibitionist Janis: Yeah, well want you lot to see Janis: Nutter 🙄 Janis: all up in my business 24/7 you gon' see some things Grace: 🙄
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