#he is so sure his insticts about him are true and hes SO HAPPY that hes correct | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

katerinaaqu · 6 months ago

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Awww girl 🫂🫂❤️ I am so happy you liked it! You are so sweet as always! It's okay I was partially expecting that it wouldn't get much attention. It still hurt a bit of course but it's okay. I ain't writing very positively about the musical and all so yeah and not even one of the famous creators anyways hehe no problem 😊 aww ✨️ thanks dear!

Hehe yeah poor guy! 😅 I remembered how you brilliantly said he would start with a very nasty hangover hahaha 😆 I just had to add that! The guy practically consumed a crater of wine by himself hahaha he should be having a nasty wake up call! Hahaha yeah the walls strike again. Oh my you are right or a prison!

Yeah because in Greece drunkenness was severely discouraged so yeah feeling guilty that he got drunk in front of these women plus yeah the opening up. Oh yeah and even if he can grasp it he tries to make excuses in his head because she was his savior and all. Oh yeah for sure Odysseus is too clever even under his fear or spells he would still think that it was very convenient they had a cure for hangover ready.

Oh my your imagination puts me to shame dear! 🫠 originally I wondered whether it would simply be a different medication that just works on stomach but man it could be so that they can handle him more! Oh gosh yeah even if he suspects her flirting he has no clue yet how BADLY she wants to be sleeping with him now!

Hahahaha she is a reverse Dilla isn't she? Hahaha Dilla has medicine ready to help Caleb but Calypso first causes the problem and then she brings the solution hahaha 😆 😂 oh yeah even if it was just his fear for Gods speaking louder it could also be her spell making him more susceptible but he definitely catches up more and more and even if his instict tingles on her motivations he still does not want to put two and two together. Hahahahahaha it is perfect isn't it? 😂😂😂

Yeah I was inspired by many abuse victims who make up excuses on the behavior of their abuser whether the abuser didn't know or that they themselves deserve it. In his case is a bit the first. She saved him and helped him so she shouldn't wish him bad right? But yeah just excuses indeed plus his fear jndeed that he has insulted enough gods already. Oh man for sure Calypso uses that to her advantage as she did the night prior. And yeah Circe was a powerful goddess who could crush him but she seemed more considering plus he had his men back then. Now he is alone and Calypso seems to be raising red flag after red flag in his head now.

Hahahaha always! Oh man you are so amazing in your analysis! Indeed she might as well wish to manipulate him into believing he is in a safe place but man yeah Odysseus gets more and more suspicious of this being all a stage or too set up. But yes she is his savior so he tries to indeed convince himself that his worries are misplaced that he is just being paranoid.

Hahahahahaha oh gosh maybe? 🤣 like the poor guy lying down and not getting up hahaha oh man girl! Maybe indeed how they rush to his assistance can be potentially how he loses his freedom of movement and his autonomy! Oh man she is getting all the more creepy isn't she? Hahaha oh gosh then I am succeeding hahaha my plan was to give an explanation as to why she does what she does and maybe give her the human dimension but she is still obviously a manipulator and abuser.

Yup. Some of the worse abuses come from genuine emotions. Which is basically what happens here. She loves and desires him but she disregards his choices and she is not willing to let him go. Hahahaha the "simpleton" part was also in homeric poems hahaha basically he described Odysseus as someone who seems like having no idea what is happening like having an aloof look but then he starts speaking and eveeyone can tell his true intelligence. 😆 but yeah she basically gets too charmed but she disregards him and doesn't respect his choices. And yeah although someone can sympathize with the unrequited love her methods are definitely unacceptable especially indeed as she starts caring less and less about his consent

Hahaha yeah. Not jumping on him was a good idea not because it would be a clear violation but because he would remember and resent her!

Oh man "opening the shell by force" is so accurate! Hahaha creeps rising

Yeah at this point is where Odysseus thinks she tries a bit TOO MUCH to show him that she cares to the point of being suffocating. Yeah in her mind is the necessary evil so that he would get things off his chest but yes to Odysseus is a clear violation to his free will.. oh man yeah Odysseus tensing again and yes her lust speaking again.

Yes I thought it would fit. In a way that is one of the "decent" conversations she has. In a way returns the favor of him opening up with her opening up in return but yes at this point she might as well also use it to drive the conversation to the emotional manipulation of her wanting him to stay with her. In a way bringing him to the point of feeling sorry that she is lonely so that he would be coersed to stay. But you are absolutely right. She is surrounded by yes men (women) and people who grant her all her wishes. That is not proper company for sure and there is a tragedy to that which I wanted to portray here. However yes it also made her feel that she is not entitled to someone saying no to her and that no is unacceptable to her now. In a way Odysseus is a gift sent to her someone she loved and someone beyond her control but yes her actions are definitely inexcusable. I am so glad you feel so!

Oh man I couldn't have said it better! 😶 oh yeah for a few seconds it almost felt like her emotional trick would work but yes Odysseus becomes all the more aware and these games confuse him. Yeah I fathomed all gods have this kind of arrogance here since they are immortal and all.

Absolutely. He has this gorgeous woman (an immortal goddess no less) that could have anyone she wanted showing such an interest in him. Who wouldn't be flattered? Especially indeed as Odysseus is no longer young and all but yes all the more now especially now that he is back in full health he realizes more and more that he has to leave.

Hahahahaha yeah 🤣 hypocrisy 101 here hahaha 😆. Yup basically she says the reason he has to return is pitiful and unimportant and to put it on top she reminds him in a way that he was disliked by many and uses his friends and comrades who betrayed him as the sole proof of that.

Oh man yeah here it is! 😶 Calypso begins full attack now banging him relentlessly with things that she knows happened to him but she brings them before him to make him see her point of view. And yes she wants to show their betrayal as simply evil act while indeed it was much more complicated than that. Oh man she does seem like she kept that information just in case she needed to use it doesn't it? And yeah she knows but she treats it as the last solution to make him "see the truth" while in reality it is far from it. 😢

Oh man thanks dear 🙏 and man so true! And yeah Odysseus can understand because he had suffered with them. He also had no food on the island and he also started to fear for their safety. He was part of it. Ans man for real the cows being there was absolutely brutal for their psychology!

Yeah again I used the idea that Polites was his best friend so he would still defend him and wishing to see things from his perspective as much as possible even if he too has some doubts. Yeah anyone can be unfair in rage and frustration and yes to be fair Eurylochus had more than just his share of experiences but yes he doesn't bear the same responsibility as Odysseus and he cannot fully comprehend the depth of his weight but still he does suffer that's for sure. Oh my the very least indeed! And man that's also true. Is one thing hearing the future and afraid and try to prevent it but the past he can do nothing about and the loss is still recent too and yes he knows the terrible things that happen next...

Aww thank you so much dear! 💓 that's indeed what I tried to portray here! And yes he also feels the injustice to what he had to suffer as a result but yes coming back to blaming himself as well and man it is a battle isn't it? But yes he also recognizes the trauma of his comrades because quite frankly he had been through it too.

Gosh thanks dear! That moment in the Odyssey was insane indeed so I wanted to do it justice so yeah man so many emotions of tension there because only Odysseus knew what was coming...no one else. Oh yeah that moment was insane indeed how the men were looking at charybdis but they had no idea!

Man right?! 😨 and man yeah he hoped till the last moment he wouldn't hear the sound of the beast waking but alas...and man for real Polites speaking of it just stabs him in the heart and yeah that was why I made him remember his own trauma; astyanax who died so violently and man yeah he tried even the last second to warn everyone to get down but yeah too late!

Aww that means a lot coming from a horror film fan dear! And as we discussed I imagined the mouths opening sideways instead but it was a momentary inspiration hehehe 😉 man the description in the Odyssey was just the most brutal stuff indeed! 😨 and man yeah imagine seeing or hearing that...

Man yeah the tension and silence you could cut it with a knife and of course Odysseus knew he had made the decision to sacrifice them for the sakes of the majority but man...judging by how he describes that moment when he tells his story I imagine indeed that it was something that scarred him but yeah I imagined Eurylochus being beyond himself at that moment and yeah I imagined he would be totally resentful and thanks 😊 you are so sweet! Indeed on one hand Odysseus hid it from them so they are furious but then again what could he say indeed? How could he say "6 of us are going to die"? Make them look around and hope it wouldn't be them to die?

Oh man who wouldn't indeed? Oh man you are so right! Now he feels as if his death is always close and that indeed pushes him to the "ill be damned if I die here" mode! Oh man it was the absolutely wrong thing to say wasn't it? But yup you got it! I WAS referencing to my other story "Guilt" in a way reflecting also the emotion of guilt he feels here and yes he puts the Visage of the harsh leader indeed because if he can no longer make his authority be heard he must indeed impose it to bring them all home so they will not be divided but yes it breaks him inside much more now that he lost them all! 😢

Awww right?! Breaking down completely 😭😭 and man yeah she feels like she achieved her purpose to make him resent them...and man so true it is indeed a parallel again isn't it? But man so true that is the difference indeed

Yeah I imagined she would bring it up at least one more time so I imagined that would be the first time and aww thanks! I mean Odysseus now literally KNOWS the horrors of the underworld! He has seen it! Which makes his decision to refuse Calypso even more admirable in my mind! Oh man right? He got his eyes back to his goal!

Hahahaha thanks 🤣👌 and man so true now he uses that very same eagerness he has to go back home against him! And yes I thought to add here the Agamemnon perspective too!

Yeah and yes it is it is freaking long especially indeed for duties of royals but man! Yeah she just says "literally no one waits so long" which as it was proven was not true and man so true again!

Man once again so right girl! ✅️ and man yeah that moment where she says not even he would wait is probably one of the first bells ringing in his brain how she will imply what she wants of him as well and yeah the special bed that is literally rooted in his homeland man that is too much to bear indeed but his mind is now haunted by doubt indeed! What Calypso said is perfectly logical...and yet it kills him! He doesn't want to accept it!

Oh man yeah his fighting spirit is back and even in the worst case scenario he is ready for his "just do it" attitude and that drives her crazy. Oh man true hahaha Assara material indeed! Oh boy! 😶

Yup and to be fair from a God perspective much more a helplessly in love one that is absolutely frustrating! Yeah I wanted to signify how she stopped using flirting or indirect ways and now she is ready for the next stage! How indeed she is ready to act according to her feelings in a demanding way.

Oh man once more on spot! He is alert awake and with his guard up but he still believes that if she helped him once she would again! 😢 and man so true now she is like a little girl that denies him stuff because indeed she doesn't want to "return the toy"

Man yeah I thought she would twist the laws of hospitality because indeed he didn't seek her hospitality originally but was washed out at her home beaten up and half-dead. She decided to help and now she holds it against him because indeed she knows he has nothing. And man yeah the guy didn't have even time to comprehend! And yeah now the true depth is seen before him! And now he can only panic because he knows he is trapped!

Oh man exactly like "you did it before so what's your problem now?" And man thinking of it is indeed so unfair and frustrating and even more tragically in theory he wouldn't be doing something out of the ordinary if he had lovers since it was frequent back then but for him who is in love with his wife man that strikes so deep!

Man for real bacause even in the Odyssey with him crying every day Calypso was like "aww you gods are jealous of our love!" Like...dude... ans Odysseus just suffers...

Man I should imagine he would indeed! Man! And the begging ritual is another sacred move how a person falls down and hugs the knees of the benefactor and the benefactor generally is not allowed to refuse anything. Odysseus did that with Circe among others. Even gods do it when Thetis begged Zeus to grant her son's wish among others. Man she reminds him of the hubris committed that brought him there and yes she uses the last thing he has; his faith against him! Hehehe bingo I used several phrases that nowadays are more associated with this musical hehe like "I'm just a man" or "monster" etc because I feel they would so fit for this context! I am a bit petty myself but man poor guy indeed! He is just mentally exhausted! And yes how many times he felt his own will or honor were disregarded!

Yeah I think that would strike deeper than anything! And now indeed he breaks completely feeling that trust is basically something nonexistent. He was distrustful before but now he just doesn't trust his own shadow anymore.

Yeah it is here! 😢 oh man thanks dear that was exactly what i wanted here! Their total contrast! She is in anticipation but he is practically dying there...he doesn't want to feel...

Yeah he doesn't even want to do it ans man for real but calypso doesn't allow him to breathe...and yes but now is infinitely worse because he feels it. And yeah he tries to avoid some parts but she won't let him and man yeah some acts of passion now became toxic and he tries to encourage himself to endure it 😭

Man for real! His own body reacting is probably the worst than anything and yeah he tries to stop himself from making any sound at all while yeah trying more and more to save himself from breaking

Oh man yeah or that indeed she js the best choice for him and all he needs is to see it while he is just dying inside...

Yeah in a way he had "consented" with Circe because he had to but here is just totally different and man yeah now the act that was supposed to be passionate and delightful is now distorted and the memories he made of her are being destroyed man I know right?! The pressure! I was inspired by that scene in the Tudors but yeah just twisted

Oh gosh for real! Finally is over but it is over means that his body again reacted to it and man I couldn't resist that phrase from her! She just refuses to acknowledge his pain.

Man exactly! And yeah Odysseus is just destroyed at that point! And man he held onto that hope till the last possible moment! Only go be crushed 😭😭😭 Nope she just doesn't listen. In her mind she is better option and for all she is concerned she is right and his family has moved on...and yeah she truly is sincere with it...and man such a great parallel! Oh man yeah mocking his honor which he feels he has just trampled is just too much...

Man I dunno why I just needed to add that there!and yeah seems so easy and yet so impossible! And man I just thought it would make sense! He tries to leave but he is prisoner now...no escape... yeah he is denied everything at this point...

Oh man it is isn't it? And exactly like ye is a disobedient child when he is literally in despair and yeah fearing for his home and family all day! And yeah the first out of countless times he cries in that beach and yeah he is just forgotten and abandoned there...no escape and no comfort! And remembering his mourning as well

Awww thank you so much dear! Yeah he lost them all...only Elpinor got a proper funeral for that matter... (hehe you know me i couldn't resist adding that hehe). Aww yeah thanks dear! Somehow I thought he would use just a sharp object he would find. Ans yes he can only form that tribute to them.

Yeah they just contrast each other ans man yeah imagine he comes in in that statw and she just thinks they will fix their rough start! Oh man you are so right 😭😭😭😭 it so fits here! For both of them! Oh man yeah the duty feeling just reached zenith!

Awww dear I am so happy you think so! And I hope I will do some tiny justice to those old stories! Man that music was so eerie I just had to use it! And aww I am so glad you think so! Poor guy!

Awww 🫂 you are so sweet but for real I wanted to show that! And man you are right! He is there already double the time and still not even close at finished! Man he absolutely is 😭😭😭 and man he is beiig abused constantly no wonder indeed! Gosh indeed she is no better than those monsters to him now! Yeah he is now feeling like shame plays no role in him anymore. He is just numb like a doll... man yeah many abusers accidentally cause injuries and apologize later but man indeed it doesn't change anything and they DO happen again as well! 😢 yup. Completely ignored.

Oh man in a way indeed 😢 and man like a pet indeed! Yes I wanted it to be yet another reason. Oh boy yeah at this point is no longer just a sweet desire it is something that eats him up day by day and exactly what he does to survive just doesn't seem to end anymore. Oh man for real! One can only imagine! Ans even just her behavior towards him makes him feel almost that "this is how it is with people" and that doubt is eating him up

Man and it makes sense that 15 years is enough to call anyone officially dead yet alone this! And man he surely lost so much...and so much more is to come! 😭😭😭 ans man I would assume it would! Poor guy just realizes more and more his fleeting youth. I bet he even fears he would die there of old age or longing...

Yeah....😢 yup exactly I wanted to connect that to Polyphemus as well as his experiences after as a beggar to Scheria and even his own palace in Ithaca. Oh man for real!

I know right?! The last thing he has, his faith is also now crumbling because he feels abandoned. And even unpleasant things like nightmares that at least were "his" are now taken from him and yeah him actually cursing Athena the goddess he adored most of all was just the switch to realize his own downfall! And trying desperately not to fall so much!

Man yeah he just wants to see this place burn! Ans aww exactly that's what I wanted to show! Man he is so ready for it! And yeah and he wasn't even the goodie guy to begin with but I wanted to show how he is now totally thirsting for blood and revenge...and yeah now he is like "I am screwed anyway. Just one more won't screw me worse!"

Oh man yeah it is totally a different league! 😭 man right?! That is so what I imagined on them! The absolute contrast! 💯

Yeah he just shuts down oh man "cold curtain close" girl you are a genius!

Oh gosh girl 🫂❤️✨️ you are so kind! 😍 and it is so sad that this is considered "controversal" since abuse is abuse no matter what the victim or the perpetrator but aww 😊✨️🫂 thanks you so much! Gosh 😭 it is always a delight to read your comments and reviews!

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Survivor's Guilt and Survior's Duty (P3 + After Note)

Continuation from Part 2:

Swift fingers were moving constantly through golden thread, mixing the different shades perfectly. The hands were moving to and fro as the humming of the sweet song kept on interrupting the rhythmical sound of wood against wood as the tapestry was slowly gaining shape in the loom. It was the skillful fingers of an ancient being beautiful like spring and deadly like winter that was weaving this. Somewhere among the sea of gold and crimson there was a pair of threads that didn’t match in color or texture.

One jet black

And one silver white…

Odysseus slowly opened his bruised eyes and he wished he hadn’t. He barely opened them a tiny bit and he shut them closed once more as his sight was mercilessly attacked by the brightness of the white grotto. His stomach was turning and he felt like throwing up everything he ever had eaten in his life and his head was turning around as if someone was spinning him at a whirlpool. He moaned holding his head with both hands, slowly rolling to the side. The headache and dizziness were pounding him relentlessly.

“Gods…my head…” he thought hoping the nausea would leave him alone

The events of the night before were also present in his mind and the embarrassment didn’t help his condition at all. He had drunk himself to the point of oblivion that much he knew. Normally he should know his limitations but he was unable to refuse the goddess who was filling his cup. Once he dared to look around (and of course seeing everything moving around him) he spotted a goblet next to the bed containing a bubbling liquid. Odysseus eyed him more suspiciously than what he would originally have wished to.

“Well…that was awfully organized…” he thought again

Either way downing the drink seemed to help a lot with his unsettled stomach although not spectacularly with his dizziness. The first thing he noticed was that Calypso was not working in her usual spot. That’s odd, he thought, but then he fathomed she wouldn’t sit around and sleep or work by the side of a severely drunk human especially given the whatever the heck would turn out to look like the day after! He moaned once more as he forced himself, excruciatingly slowly to sit up on the bed and place his feet on the floor.

“Gods…never again…” he mumbled holding another gag back.

But it was true that Calypso’s potion was working wonders although he needed at least a couple of more minutes to stand up and start practically staggering until he reached a wall to support himself and walk out, possibly hoping some fresh air would do him good. As he walked down the grotto to his best abilities he surely was wondering how the hell he managed to get so drunk even with the goddess practically encouraging him. He should know better than that. Stopping at a sudden wave of dizziness he sighed and wiped some sweat off his face.

“Alright, Odysseus…no more wine for you…” he mumbled to himself, “…you clearly are not mature enough…”

Beneath his layers of self-sarcasm, though, he did feel like he had embarrassed himself before the goddess. Not only had he drunk himself to stupor; true it was Calypso the one to keep serving him but perhaps she didn’t know the human limitations to drinking. Perhaps she overestimated his tolerance or perhaps… (Odysseus always had one random ominous thought to the back of his head but he always chose to dismiss it, especially now that he needed all help he could get from some god given that he already had half the pantheon chasing after him!), but he also cried like a baby, opening up things he never wished to share in the first place, yet alone in front of an immortal goddess and her immortal nymph entourage. His situation was already bad enough; he was a beggar without anything to offer to the goddess; he didn’t need to be seen as an uncontrollable drunk as well. And this goddess somehow gave a different energy than Circe (and by gods wasn’t that experience scary enough).

He found Calypso lazily laying upon her sofa as her maids were attending the room. His heart was clenched by an unpleasant feeling once more but he dismissed it as his natural aversion towards the fear against the divine. Not to mention he was still feeling ashamed as he couldn’t be more. Calypso sensed his presence and smiled almost maternally at him.

“Good morning, Odysseus” her melodic voice reached his ears. “I am glad to see you up”

“That is a way to put it, goddess…” Odysseus mumbled as he was practically assisted by the maids to sit on the couch opposite her

His dizziness was still awful but he felt better already.

“My throat is dry…” he admitted, “Could I perhaps…have some water?”

Calypso smirked.

“Bring him some water” she ordered

As the cup was given to Odysseus he basically drained it, feeling the cool liquid settling down.

“Blessed you be, goddess…” he whispered again, “And thank you for your treatment. It worked wonders”

“I am glad” Calypso said with her usual feline smile. “I would hate to see you struggle with nausea”

Odysseus drew a deep breath to calm himself a bit. Calypso once more observed him and her heart was flattering. She discreetly tasted her lips imagining that chest moving up and down with his breathing. She looked upon that man that was now monopolizing her dreams and fantasies stand there in the light; his hair appearing almost auburn as sunlight was showering them. He was looking at her and if she hadn’t noticed his eyes shining with intelligence and wisdom she would have sworn he was a simpleton till he would start to speak. Odysseus was a man full of contradictions; darkness and light, quick wits and aloof thinking, braveness and fear…strength and weakness…

“Goddess…I…” he started, “In regards to the events of last night…forgive me I shouldn’t have broken down like this…”

Calypso congratulated herself deep inside for holding herself back. She was right and indeed Odysseus could remember everything clearly from the night before. It would have ruined everything if she had advanced onto Odysseus while he was vulnerable.

“Why not?” Calypso asked airily. “I am glad you decided to open up with me. I am just sad you had to get drunk you let yourself go and trust me”

Odysseus winced at the reminder. Yeah, that was the last thing he needed to be reminded of… As if reading his thoughts, Calypso spoke again;

“Don’t worry too much, darling. I myself actually drank more than what I intended, last night,” the half-lie came easy to her lips, “You are a very pleasant company, Odysseus. One can forget himself when they are with you!”

“Me?” Odysseus asked in disbelief, “Hardly, goddess…hardly…”

He sighed, rubbing his nape nervously.

“I just...didn’t want to burden you with my troubles…”

“Odysseus…” Calypso said sincerely, “You are never a burden… I really want to help you… Not as a goddess, as a friend, I am glad you took some of that weight off your chest”

And then she took a bold step, more to herself than anything, and placed her hand on his. She felt him tense at the sudden contact while she felt his mortal flesh beneath her hand and she almost lost control of her emotions but her face was kept stone calm.

“Don’t you ever, ever apologize for your emotions, Odysseus,” she said sincerely, “It is what makes you mortals and us immortals similar…”

She felt him almost drawing his hand back or at least she felt his muscles signaling for him to do so, as he looked at her with those eyes that hid so much wisdom that indeed made her wonder what kind of mortal person has so much in their mind. She drew back and leaned on her couch again, casually.

“Oh, yes” she said, “Even us gods have feelings, Odysseus, our own torments. You may say that ours are sometimes more unbearable since we have to live with them for all eternity. We have no way of escaping them. One can see that from this very island too. This little paradise that is so left alone from the world…sometimes loneliness is so much to bear Odysseus…so much…”

Odysseus raised his brows. Suddenly the immortal nymph Calypso seemed almost…vulnerable. He saw her honey eyes reflect genuine pain and sorrow, sadness and isolation. He felt somehow stupefied for a second to react. How can someone consol a god?

“I…I understand, beautiful Calypso…” he whispered, “It is piercing the bones of any person to be isolated…”

“Yes, you do understand, don’t you?” Calypso eyed him, “You were a gift to me, Odysseus. It was the first time in hundreds of years that I felt someone actually connecting to this sorrow; the first time I felt someone truly understands loneliness as I do…”

Odysseus suddenly felt uncomfortable. He didn’t know where this conversation was heading to but it seemed like it was about to take a turn that he wouldn’t really wish it to. And apparently he was right for Calypso held his calloused hand in both of hers; caressing his fingers with her delicate, unnaturally smooth ones.

“Why don’t you stay here with me, Odysseus?” Calypso whispered

Her tone resembled a little girl talking to her first crush. It felt so unnatural to Odysseus that the goddess that nursed him back to health, the goddess that always kept a maternal visage now she was talking to him like he was an eternal god and she a young maiden trying to keep him with her.

“Stay…” Calypso repeated, “You understand how I feel and I understand you. You could live a happy life here; free from all the sorrows and this mortal coil. You wouldn’t need to worry about a thing here.”

As if that was not enough, Calypso raised a hand to touch his chin, making their eyes meet.

“I like you, Odysseus” she confessed naturally, “You interested me from the moment I saw you; your will to survive was unparalleled, however now I see how genuinely worthy you are.”

Odysseus felt his cheeks flush with color. It was rather flattering, he couldn’t lie, that this beautiful immortal being that could have any immortal god she wanted on her feet was now showing some interest in him in whatever way; him the man who was no longer young, who never considered himself the handsomest on earth in the first place, the man who was considered by many cunning, sly and without honor; now pique the interest of an immortal goddess. However…

“Your interest in me is beyond flattering, goddess…” he replied as he softly covered her hand still holding his with his own, discreetly drawing it away, “However I must refuse. I must go back…”

Calypso’s face again changed for one briefest second. It was as if someone had punched her in the gut. She slowly withdrew and sat back to her sofa.

“Go back…?” she echoed, “Why? What’s left for you out there, Odysseus? Poseidon wants your life and everyone you know might as well be thinking only of your harm. Mortal minds are so petty sometimes! Why would you want to go back to that world?”

“I have a kingdom I am responsible of” the king of Ithaca replied, “I have a family, friends that I have to return to. I made a promise I would. I am a mortal too, goddess, I belong to that world”

“Friends!” Calypso said as if the word had no meaning, “Your friends were responsible for this adventure that almost cost your life!”

Reading the expression of shock to his face, Calypso elaborated.

“You do know, it was Eurylochus the one to persuade your men to eat the cows of Helios Hyperion, right? Not that the rest of your men had vastly different opinion, but it was him the one who betrayed you in the first place, the same way he betrayed you when he opened the sack of Aiolus!”

The Man of Many Torments felt his heart clench as all color left his face.

“What?” he croaked out

“Look in your cup” Calypso encouraged him, “and see the truth”

Odysseus looked down at the ceramic cup in his hand and gasped. Indeed the water surface of his cup had turned into a reflective mirror and now he could see as if he were there himself, the dreadful scene that preceded the slaughter of the sacred animals that led to his last ship to be gone forever and his men drown…

The men were tired; dark circles had formed under their eyes from sleeplessness and hunger and it had given them a rough look. They seemed like shadows of the men they used to be. Hunger, fatigue and sorrows had brought them on their knees. The sacred cows of Helios Hyperion were always grazing at the field next to the beach, filling their fat bellies with grass rich in salt and essential minerals. His hungry comrades were often looking at them, longer than it would be proper; way too long for comfort. Everyone was of course considering this source of nutrition ever since their rich provisions were gone. They were holding on the promise they had given to Odysseus and the fear for yet another god’s wrath but this time they were all at their limits. Eurylochus suddenly shot up from his sitting position on a rock.

“I’ve had enough of this!” he exclaimed suddenly

As all heads turned to face him at the same time.

“Hear me out, my friends, because I believe you shall agree with me that this cannot go on! We will starve to death if we wait here doing nothing! I don’t know about you, my friends but I refuse to die here of starvation!”

“Eurylochus!” Polites cried out, “What are you saying! You can’t be implying-…”

“All forms of death are terrible, Polites!” Eurylochus replied again, “We mortals are trained all our lives to fear death but death of hunger? Is there ever a worse form to die than that? We once conquered Troy and all its assets and we were praised by gods and humans and now we are in this godforsaken island and we die day by day on the beach like animals that lost their feeding grounds!”

“Eurylochus is right” Lycaon now spoke, “This can’t go on! And Odysseus is nowhere to be found!”

“He went to hunt” Polites replied again, “And pray for us!”

“Pray! Pray!” Eurylochus suddenly started screaming on top of his lungs, “He does nothing but pray! Have you seen any god favor us?! Have you seen anything good coming out of his prayers?! He calls himself pious and religious, he offers sacrifices! The problem started when the sacrifices became us!”

“Now now!” Alkimos now spoke, “That’s too much! Calm down!”

“Don’t you tell me to calm down Alkimos!” Eurylochus growled, “Odysseus will not do anything, once again! All he can do is pray and his prayers go on deaf ears! And that is all because of him! He only is killing us bit by bit!”

“Now listen you!” Polites had enough of this.

He was hungry too and starving but that was way too much.

“Don’t you dare to say that! Odysseus only tried to protect us all in various occasions! True he made many mistakes but-…”

He was stopped when Eurylochus grabbed upon his collar.

“YOU WEREN’T THERE, POLITES!” Eurylochus bellowed and his eyes already shining with primitive hunger were now beyond any form of madness one could express, “You weren’t there! That monster smashing the heads of our comrades! All we could do was watch as he indulged himself in their flesh! We were in that cave because of Odysseus in the first place! We could survive with the wild goats of the island! He just wanted something better! He always does! And WE pay the price! Never him! Never!”

“Now, now everyone calm down!” Amphidamas came between them to separate them, “If we kill each other now, the conversation will have no meaning in the first place!”

Eurylochus was forced to step back but he continued.

“I refuse to die here of hunger! My friends, let us satiate our hunger with these cows. We shall offer a sacrifice to the god Helios here and if we make it to Ithaca then we can build him a great temple, with our own hands. We can make a solemn oath here for that.”

“And if we don’t?” Polites glared at him

“If we don’t…well in that case I prefer to die from a wave and drown rather than die here like a beast from hunger!”

Odysseus watched the scene as if he were there. He watched his comrades grabbing the cows, slaughtering them and offering their sacrifice. But they had no wine left so they used water to rinse the parts of the animals. They had no barley to use and they plucked the leaves of an oak… He watched them set their feast which was not even proper sacrifice to begin with and he knew very well what followed. He was there after that. He could see no more as his eyes filled with tears once more. Suddenly his hangover was forgotten. The pain in his heart was greater. The ceramic fell from his hands and shattered to the floor. Odysseus grabbed his head with both hands, leaning forward in lament.

“Oh, Eurylochus!” he whispered between his sobbing, “I know, my friend, I know I made mistakes…I know I wasn’t perfect but I didn’t deserve this! I didn’t-…deserve…”

His nails nearly broke the flesh of his face as he cried. Yes, there was no point keeping his mask of carefree man anymore. Calypso had already exposed the pain in his soul. He might as well indulge into it again! His men had suffered and died and he was left alone to fight the elements and the storms holding upon the remains of his ship with little to no hope left; alone in fear and in pain, in hunger and in thirst to the brief of death and madness… He felt the injustice in his flesh; he had sacrificed so much! He was always there when they needed him; he went to face gods, creatures, even descended to the Underworld for them and faced the horrors that expect the dead in the afterlife while he was still living himself. He had sold himself to a goddess hoping to get freedom for his men; he had stayed up 9 days to protect the sack of Aiolus to make sure it wouldn’t be opened and that they could get back home… He had been ready to face Skylla and Charybdis for them… Their accusations seemed so unjust in his ears and yet…the other part of himself admitted they were right; nothing would have happened if he hadn’t let his anger speak and brag on Polyphemus…no, nothing would have happened if they never entered his cave in the first place… Perhaps nothing would have happened if he never had that scheme to take Troy! Or what if he was never there! Oh, cursed Troy! Cursed war! But then again, Odysseus felt like he had himself to blame again for what happened…

“Cursed oath!” he thought in despair, “Why did I have to do that! Why did I have to suggest to the old man Tyndareus that we would all defend Helen? If it weren’t for that I would be in Ithaca! Raising my son and embracing my wife! My men would be alive in their houses and villages! Cursed oath! Damn the moment I invented it! Damned the moment I was born!”

He broke down. No, this was too much to bear! He wanted to save them and ended up losing them all! And he had suffered himself. He nearly lost his life… No, it shouldn’t be all his fault now should it? He had specifically told them not to open the sack…he had told them not to eat the animals belonging to a god… He had warned them! He couldn’t be the one to blame for those, right? He knew his comrades made their own mistakes but he could also understand them. They have been through much more than what any mortal was supposed to endure… But that type of mutiny? Why? Why so much hate…? He remembered though how much Eurylochus was affected during their trip. In particular the adventure of Skylla had left them all with scars…

The area was quiet; WAY too quiet for anyone’s liking! The men had watched nervously as Odysseus had stood to the fore-deck fully geared up in his armor and holding two spears. Why on earth would he want to be armed? Odysseus seemed ready to collapse in their eyes. He was constantly gazing to the rocks around as if he expected some unknown attack from the sky! As they entered a narrow path, Odysseus seemed to be very weary. As they passed from below a cave at a high mountain, from the other side a terrifying rumble drew their attention and a whirlpool was formed, sucking in the sea water. The men cried out in fear and despair and yet they could not take their eyes off that dreadful sight! And when he had hoped that would be the end of it, the cry was heard over the rumble.

“A baby?” one of the men asked

Odysseus winced. No, no…he thought. His hands clenched upon his arms. Suddenly he remembered Circe’s advice that he had forgotten; there was no point at him being armed; Skylla was immortal. He could do nothing to her even if he wanted. He could only pray that she wouldn’t wake up for her daily meal while they crossed but now that baby cry just shattered all his hopes and prayers. It was too late. He could only steer the ship close to Skylla’s side to avoid Charybdis and now…Skylla had decided it was her time to eat…

“Odysseus!” Polites called out as his face was pale and wet from sweat; one eye to the whirlpool and the other to Odysseus, “Odysseus, there is a baby up at the grotto!”

A baby up… For a moment Odysseus felt like it was Astyanax who was crying from the underworld…Astyanax had come to claim something of him as punishment for he took Troy leading to his death…

“Odysseus!” Polites urged again

Odysseus looked up at the cave and his eyes were liquid. He looked at Polites and his face could be the same as a wounded animal, facing the hound that was about to take his life; pleading for one last time… He was almost shaking.

“Forgive me, Polites…” he whispered, “GET DOWN!”

And he dropped to the deck, taking Polites with him and leading a few men do the same in panic (of those who weren’t still hypnotized by the terrible whirlpool at the other side). Everything happened too fast; Six necks longer than their entire ship probably twice as much, bearing terrible heads; a mixture between a woman’s head and a dragon with mouths open with sharp teeth. The heads rushed to the deck like deadly snakes and they grasped one man each who screeched in pain, drawing the attention of everyone on deck. They watched in horror.

“CAPTAIN! CAPTAIN!” the men who could still speak screamed, “ODYSSEUS!”

Odysseus was unable to take his eyes off this sight which was so similar to the cave of Polyphemus but this time seemed harder to grasp. At the beginning of the grotto Skylla began her feast by cutting off flesh and guts off the bodies of his men who were still alive and screaming from their adrenaline rush; nothing like when Polyphemus had smashed them to the ground, making sure they were dead first. Skylla had no such problem as her six heads were tearing apart what was left of his 6 best men on the ship. The men were wailing and screaming, calling his name. His men pale in horror; one or two of them doubled over and threw up on the deck. Odysseus nearly did both himself. The seconds passed like eons as the screaming finally silenced and the ship drew away from that terrible passage. They could still hear the moaning of Charybdis as she was throwing up the seawater again…

There was silence afterwards… His men hardly dared to breathe…not even the oars could be heard anymore as the ship was probably moving by the stream at that point as no one had the courage to move. Odysseus was frozen there like a statue… He didn’t even have the strength to drop on his knees. Forgive me, he thought, forgive me I had no choice… Polites was probably the first to come out of the trance as he croaked out in a barely audible voice;

“What…what the hell was that…?”he was as pale as a cloud, “Odysseus…? What the hell was that…?”

Odysseus turned his head to him, trying to find the words to answer but Eurylochus pounced at him like a furious tiger ready to eat his throat.

“YOU BASTARD!” he bellowed beyond himself, grabbing him by the front part of his armor, “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING?! YOU STOOD THERE DOING NOTHING! WE ALL DID! SPEAK UP!”

His head turned to the side. He couldn’t face him.

“I HEARD YOU SPEAK UP! IT WAS AS IF YOU KNEW WHAT WAS COMING! SPEAK UP ‘KING OF ITHACA’ AND ‘EQUAL TO GODS’! WHAT WAS THAT!?”

“That was Skylla…” Odysseus whispered, “…Daughter of Echidna and Typhoon… A creature that pries on dolphins and seals when she can…and waits for ships to pass her grotto…”

Eurylochus was hyperventilating; his face was red in fury.

“You knew!? YOU KNEW ALL ALONG AND SAID NOTHING!? YOU KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHEN-…”

“If I had picked Charybdis we would have died all!” Odysseus yelled back, “I had no choice I had to do this! There was no other way!”

“You kept your mouth shut! YOU SAID NOTHING AND LET OUR COMRADES BE SACRIFICED! YOU DIDN’T SAY A THING! WE HAD TO KNOW!”

“WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?!” now Odysseus bellowed, higher than anything Eurylochus did before

His men all silenced before his woeful and furious cry.

“What do you want me to say! That I hoped this monster would never come out? That I wanted us all to suffer as little as possible…that I could find no proper words to explain what was in store for them…that I hope I was them…?”

He was heroically holding his tears back. He was feeling his body turning into stone again under the layers of his armor that had been useless in this adventure.

If I show weakness I am lost…

“…That I am sorry…?”

If I show weakness I am lost…

Eurylochus had his eyes ticking in rage and fear. Odysseus could see the panic settling in him more and more like the waves at the sea. He was shivering all over.

“Sorry…?” he echoed, “You are sorry…?”

The way he grabbed him later, made others even wake up from their shocked state and arrive to their assistance to see which of the two would be hurt next!

“YOU ARE SORRY!?” Eurylochus bellowed, “IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANY OF US, ODYSSEUS! IT COULD HAVE BEEN-…”

He froze again as if the terrible realization hit him. He seemed ready to throw up himself. He let go of Odysseus and stepped back. Suddenly he was vulnerable and frightened.

“Oh my gods…” he mumbled, “We’re not going to survive this, are we? We are all gonna die in this journey! We’re all doomed!”

“No! No!” Odysseus shook his head, “No, this can’t end like this! We shall make it! We must make it! If we follow the instructions Circe gave us, we can make it. Trust me…”

Apparently that word was the worst he could use because Eurylchus gained his fighting spirit back and he was held by another comrade so he wouldn’t rush on him again.

“Trust you?! TRUST YOU, you say?! Six of our comrades are dead! And you said nothing! How can we trust you Odysseus!? HUH?!”

Odysseus lowered his eyes. He fixed the helmet on his head, as if he wanted to hide his gaze from them; from all the judgmental eyes and ears around him.

If I show weakness I am lost…

“I did what I thought it was right…” he said in a cold tone, “If I had chosen Charybdis we would all be dead now…”

He turned to leave but Eurylochus was not done releasing the anger inside him.

“Who else is to be sacrificed next then, Odysseus? Huh? Tell me, King of Ithaca, who is to be sacrificed next?”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“I did it to save us all!” Odysseus whispered dangerously, stepping closer to him, “I did it to save this vessel! Our last ship! Our last hope! If we lose it, we’re lost! I did what I had to do! We can survive this! But we must stick together!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“If you cannot trust me, then obey me!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“If I everything I ever done is not enough for you to have faith in me then you must remember that I am still your king!”

If I show weakness I am lost…

“For as long as we have this vessel, I am still your captain! And we still have a chance!”

If I show weakness…

Odysseus moaned lowering his head almost between his knees as he remembered what had befallen between them. No wonder that it was Eurylochus the one to initiate that mutiny! However it still hurt every thread of his heart. It still led to the outmost destruction! He had roamed 10 days aimlessly in absolute terror in the elements with no hope; nearly losing his mind in the process…and his very life!

“Our last vessel…our last hope…” he whispered, “…It’s gone…gone! We… Gone… All of our hope was gone…! Why, Eurylochus! Why! Why!”

Calypso walked around his bench. She was as alluring as she seemed dangerous…like the sea that enclosed him. Her touch on his shoulder as she circled him, made him feel fear for the very first time he was with her. It was as if some cloud was lifted from his mind; a cloud he had no idea it existed.

“My poor, tormented darling…” Calypso whispered again, “These men rebelled against you…they disobeyed your orders and ignored your suggestions… Surely you are not the one to blame for their carelessness and arrogance….”

Her hands cupped his cheeks and made him look at her. She had kneeled before him and she wiped tears with her thumbs; tears he had no idea he had shed…

“You nearly lost your life out there, darling… Why must you torment yourself over them? Why must your heart always mourn? Forget about this…mortal coil. Stay here with me…stay and rest, finally, Odysseus… You shall not want of anything here… I could offer you the gift of immortality… Never shall you fear sickness or death again! Never shall you find yourself in the same pitiful state that you were when you first showed up at my doors! You shall be my equal! All you need to do is ask…”

Immortal! The word rang to Odysseus’s brain like a bell; immortality was the dream of every human being! And if immortality was linked, as she said, to no more of this heartache and torment… Oh, how desirable that was! And yet his mind rebelled to this. He remembered the Underworld; that dreadful place of wandering souls…he remembered Achilles who had told him he’d rather a thousand times be the last servant and alive than a god-king and dead… Why was his mind rebelling this when every mortal instinct he had was telling him to accept that? He held her wrists and softly removed them from his cheeks.

“Goddess…I immensely thank you for your proposal…there is indeed nothing sweeter echoing in the ears of a helpless mortal than immortality free of sorrows but… I cannot accept this… I must go back…”

Calypso seemed like she had been slapped as she looked at him.

“But…why!” she finally asked, “Why would you choose that? When you have been tormented so much and hurt so badly?”

“I must return to Ithaca!” Odysseus insisted, “My wife…my son are waiting for me there… And if I give up everything now, all we have been through with my companions will be in vain! I cannot just abandon them….”

Calypso stood up. Suddenly her face resembled indeed a statue; perfect and yet cold and emotionless.

“And are you sure, Odysseus, that your wife remained faithful to you? Are you sure she hasn’t betrayed you too?”

Odysseus moaned helplessly. That thought stabbed into his brain like a sword. For some reason Agamemnon’s words came to his mind that one can never trust their spouse, for he had been murdered by Clytemnystra and her lover. He shook his head. No, not Penelope! Penelope would never!

“No!” he exclaimed, “Not, Penelope! We chose each other! There is a special bond between us!”

“And yet, how do you know?” Calypso pressed, “You have been married almost two decades and yet you lived but a couple of years together. How can you know that your sweet Penelope holds your marriage the same as you do?”

“She does! I know she does! She promised she would wait! She promised me!”

“Darling! Listen to yourself! You have been away from home more than 12 years!” she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, resting her beautiful head over his, “At best possible scenario she honored your marriage till they finally denounced you dead. Who can leave a throne vacant for so long?”

“No…” Odysseus whispered in denial, “No…no!”

“Just face the truth, my darling…you cannot deny it that over a decade people die… Your sweet Penelope might as well have found a new husband to rule your kingdom. No one can wait so long, my darling…” she whispered in his ear, “Not even you…”

Odysseus shivered. Her hot breath in his ear ringed weirdly in his soul. A natural feeling of repulse mixed with the sweet allure of her voice made him release himself from her embrace and stand up.

“I would! I would wait! I did! I still do!”

“And you are absolutely certain she would do the same? How can you be so sure that your sweet Penelope hasn’t found someone else to warm that empty wedding bed of hers?”

His bed? That bed he carved with his own two hands would be taken by someone else? That thought terrified him. No, he didn’t even want to think about it!

“Please goddess, stop! Say no more, I employ you!”

Suddenly he felt the need to defend himself against her accusations even if he had no real logical argument to repel them. It was as if his heart knew what his brain was repelling. His mother in the Underworld had told him that Penelope was enduring still and he held onto that for dear life. But, the other part of his brain was asking, how long has his mother been dead? If she met her end years ago then what guarantee did he have that Penelope hadn’t really remarried? He had none and he knew it, but he still wouldn’t want to accept such a scenario!

“But what if I am right?” Calypso insisted, “What if you are right and she endured but eventually she had to bend? What if your sweet Penelope has found a new husband?”

“Then…” the king of Ithaca whispered, “…that is one more reason for me to go back! To claim what is mine; my land, my kingdom, my palace…and my wife!”

Calypso frowned and lowered her head. She was astonished by his seer stubbornness and his refusal of seeing what he was truly refusing! She felt anger rising inside her. She adored him and she desired him. She had tried everything the past weeks to make him see it but apparently his mind was captured by his wife for an eternity and regardless of whether she managed to read his heart or not, Odysseus was once more distanced from her… She felt an anger she never felt before in her long life; was this the emotion humans named “envy”? Was she envious of a mere mortal woman? A woman that would eventually grow old and die? No, she refused to accept such weakness! And she wouldn’t lose to a mortal woman to the fight for the heart of this man she had come to adore to her bones!

Calypso was working her loom. She could feel the enchantment had faded; the sweet lithe that wanted to give to Odysseus so his pain would heal and he wouldn’t need to think so much of the things he would leave behind, had started to fade. It was as if, indeed, Odysseus’s mental and emotional strength were enough to make him indeed Equal to Gods… She banged her fist on the wood frustrated. She had seen his heart, she had saved his life, she had helped him and yet she still was so far away from him and all this time Odysseus had been resisting her incantation by seer will and emotion without even knowing it! No, she couldn’t let him leave, not before her questions were answered! What made him tick so much? What made his will to survive so strong that he managed to come out alive out of the greatest of hardships? Why was she so helplessly trapped in his charms when he was just a mortal man with no intention to seduce her in the first place? She sighed. She didn’t need to look behind her shoulder to realize it was Odysseus standing behind her.

“Calypso…” he whispered, “Great goddess of Ogygia…please…give me a vessel…give me a small ship to go back to my country… You nursed me back to health, you gave me valid answers to some of my questions… I can no longer stay here… Please, beautiful nymph I employ you…give me a ship to govern”

“There are no ships in Ogygia, Odysseus!” Calypso replied almost coldly, “No one ever comes or goes from here… Ships do not cross this sea…so full of danger”

“Then…please give me the tools to make one” Odysseus insisted, “Please, I have to go back, do you understand? I have been away from my wife and son so long! I want to embrace my precious Telemachus again! Tell him how sorry I am for missing all his life! Please be merciful, powerful nymph…please let me go…”

Calypso sighed. Her fist clenched.

“Fine…if that’s what you want to do…” she stood up to her full height and turned around

She was a tall woman; as tall as he was in total. Perhaps even a few centimeters taller. Her look was magnificent under the pale light of dusk. And yet her honey eyes shone in a dangerous way that Odysseus never saw before.

“But first, before you leave, I need something from you, Odysseus”

“Anything, goddess!” Odysseus replied almost immediately, “As long as it is within my power to give it to you”

“The gifts of Xenia, I gave you…” Calypso immediately replied; her eyes resembled now a predatory bird that had caught a mouse in her claws, “I took you in my house, I gave you my bed to sleep, I gave you my wine and bread to satiate your hunger and quench your thirst and clothes to wear. I believe you owe me some gifts of Xenia back.”

Odysseus’s heart sank in his chest.

“Goddess…” he began, “I have nothing to give you! I lost everything. If I had my vessel I would have given you all the treasures I got from Troy and every land I encountered in-between! I would give you the best wine and fabrics, jewelry and pearls from all ends of the world! The price would be too little for the good you did to me! But, alas, I have nothing. I am a ruined shipwrecked man! I have nothing to give you, to repay your hospitality!”

“Ah, Odysseus, Odysseus… There is something you can give me, something much more important than those soulless things. Wine…jewelry? Why would I need any of those? I already have plenty. However there is something you can give me, Odysseus, that nothing of those can buy…”

Odysseus eyed her curiously.

“What?” he genuinely asked, “What is it that I have that is so precious to you, good goddess?”

Calypso slowly walked to him. And then Odysseus froze because what she did next was something that totally took him aback. Her hand softly touched his cheek and then her lips landed upon his. Odysseus felt his eyes widen like a rabbit before the sight of a fox. No…no it couldn’t be! Calypso pulled back smiling seductively.

“Entertain me, Odysseus!” she whispered, “Give me what your wife enjoyed for a little while… Show me how mortals make love!”

Pale as a sheet, Odysseus took plenty of steps back.

“No…!” he whispered, “No, no! Please, I beg of you goddess! I-I can’t give you what you ask!”

“Why not?” Calypso pressured, “You gave this to the divine daughter of Helios.”

Circe’s name came back to haunt him. Yes, Odysseus had shared a bed with Circe but then it was different! Hermes had told him not to refuse her and he had his men to protect. Right now he was alone. He had no one else to protect but his own skin and right now his decision would mean so much more than just an exchange and somehow he knew it!

“Please, spare me, good goddess!” Odysseus begged, “Ask for anything else, but not that, not that please!”

Penelope…Telemachus…

“It seems like offending gods has become a second nature to you, Odysseus!” Calypso retorted, “You make it sound like the worst thing that can happen to you is to bed me!”

Odysseus turned pale in terror. No, he definitely did not mean to offend her and yet what she asked of him…

“I’ll…I’ll do anything else, goddess. I shall delay my departure to make you a magnificent palace with my own hands if you wish…”

“Why would I need such thing, Odysseus? As you see I am missing nothing in my godly grotto. Why would I need a palace in my isle?”

“I…I shall build you a temple in Ithaca once I arrive!” Odysseus desperately tried again, “I shall make you the greatest goddess of all the Cephallinians, but please spare me!”

Calypso let out a light chuckle.

“The gifts of Xenia are not something given after 10 years, Odysseus!” she said as a matter of fact, “Not to mention that there is no guarantee that you will even make it back to your little island. The way Poseidon wishes your demise, I highly doubt you will make it beyond my bay! Nay, Odysseus. Besides why would I need worship? I live content on my island like that. I’d rather get what I wished for”

“Spare me!” Odysseus cried out, “Spare me, goddess, please! I’ll fall on my knees for you, beggar at your feet, but please don’t make me do this!”

He would have indeed dropped on his knees to hug hers, to make sure that she would not push him any further but she stopped him. She had come to know him.

“Please, Odysseus, no more, otherwise it will be much harder for me to keep refusing you!”

“Please, show mercy!”

“I have stated what I want from you and that’s it” Calypso replied relentless, “Are you going to trample the laws of Xenia as well? Wasn’t the taking of Troy enough when you fought at night using trickery? Wasn’t offending one god enough? Do you now wish to trample this sacred law dictated by Zeus as well?”

Odysseus froze in place; the law of Xenia…the law that he lived on all his life with. The law that he honored above all was now brought before him. He knew he had nothing to give her and he knew he could not offend her any further. He grabbed his head in desperation.

“If I want to see my wife and child…I have to appease her… Oh, Penelope! Forgive me! I am just a man; a weak, mortal man! I cannot fight with gods! I am tired! I can’t do this anymore!” he thought in despair, “My honor…trampled so many times! Gods, mercy! No more! Please no more!”

He knew everything had a price; he had learnt that the hard way! However seeing also Calypso; the kind nymph that took him in without asking anything before; the person he thought might be the exception, now bringing such a horrendous price for him to pay stroke him harder than anything. Suddenly his heart ached and then he felt like it broke. They are all the same, he thought, all gods and humans are the same! They all require a price and they ignore the distressful pleading!

Calypso’s chambers were dimly lit in moonlight only one or two torches lit the room. Calypso was casually leaning in her bed, observing him with an unreadable look; it was a mixture of lust, amusement, curiosity and wonder… Odysseus was shaking as he turned to the low table. He poured a cup of wine for himself and he downed it. Then he took another one. He breathed heavily. Gods let me go numb tonight…he thought, let me not feel this that I am about to do…. He could feel her eyes burning holes to the back of his nape, as if she was gaining strength from his distress. As if it as amusing to her. He turned around to see the nymph; so beautiful and so terrible, staring at him.

“Take off your clothes and join me, Odysseus…” she whispered seductively

Odysseus mechanically breathed in and out and then slowly opened his chiton, revealing his wide chest. He wished his mind wasn’t so frozen and yet so aware. For the first time in his life he wished to faint here and there; black out so he will not be conscious when it happens! Calypso shot up from the bed and grabbed the cloth, tearing it apart with one single move. Odysseus winced before her strength but even more he winced when her hands touched his chest, burning his flesh like fire as she felt the curly hair that adorned it. She felt every detail, every muscle, every scar… She shivered in delight finally feeling his flesh beneath her fingertips and the reactions that came with it… She felt every tremor, every jerk that strong mortal body was emitting! She sealed his lips with hers. Odysseus had kept his mouth as tightly closed as possible. Her lips burnt like coals…his soul hurt like being torn apart! Calypso softly pulled back and whispered against his lips;

“Like you mean it, Odysseus…like you mean it!”

Odysseus nearly broke down in tears as her lips sealed his again. He tried really hard to respond, feeling a jerk to his hair by her strong hand.

“I am Odysseus of Ithaca! Father to sweet Telemachus…son of Laërtes…There is nothing I can’t endure!”

The strokes came even lower. Odysseus prayed with all the power of his soul that his body wouldn’t react; that she would lose interest in him…however, as always, the gods were relentless. He felt his body responding to her caresses and her forcible seduction. He held back himself; no he wouldn’t moan! Be it pleasure or pain; he wouldn’t react! He wouldn’t give off the storm inside him!

“I am the Man of Many Turns…Goodly Odysseus! I am the Sacker of Cities! I am the spawn of Hermes…grandson of Autolycus! I shall not…I cannot be broken…!”

The touch nearly drove him insane in rage and confusion! He sighed as he nearly felt himself losing his footing.

“Endure my heart…please endure…! You have endured worse…!”

She led him on her bed…to which he was forced to lay and she threw her dress off her body revealing herself to him as pretty as she was terrible. As she climbed over him Odysseus wanted to shut his eyes closed, to hide those small tears that escaped his eyes and got lost in his curly hair.

“Oh, Athena! Oh, Pallas! Why! Why! Why! Please guide me to take this bitter cup upon my lips! Why are you silent, Athena? Why did you abandon me?”

As more kisses cascaded his body and he felt those arms almost pinning him on the bed, Odysseus remembered Circe… She had led him to her bed thinking she had his consent… Calypso knew she didn’t. She knew he couldn’t escape and yet it was as if she wanted to make sure! As she slowly raised herself to a position that was comfortable, Odysseus felt his heart break. The sudden rush made him almost lose his breath. He threw his head back in a silent scream. He wanted to close his eyes and yet he couldn’t avoid the terrible sight; he saw that face that was always calm and collected; maternal even now distorted in a mask of forceful bliss and a cascade of sighs and hums. That body that supported him before and helped him move about in the cave when he was weak was now moving over him making a series of sensations rush through his veins…those hands that so gently and so strongly supported him were now pinning him down; her left hand resting somewhere behind her back, close to the scar that adorned his leg and the other pressing upon his laryngeal prominence. He clenched his jaw till it hurt so he wouldn’t groan in distress; his body reacting to her treatment was much more terrifying even than the sight of hers on top of him.

“No more…please gods no more…”

And then it was over! He nearly fell back to the pillows breathing heavily like wounded. Calypso was breathing as well; only in delight. She didn’t seem half as tired as he was…

“On my word, Odysseus!” she panted softly, “You really ARE ‘Equal to gods’!”

He felt nauseous! He wanted to scream. He remained on the same position…not daring to look at her anymore as she kissed his cheek tenderly, hands tracing his body. Only one tear escaped his eye.

“Why…? WHY!”

Calypso was humming softly as she was arranging her hair. She had thrown a robe around her naked body, looking at her reflection at the bronze spectrum. Odysseus almost staggered in the room. He had thrown a new chiton over himself but he still felt the shame around him. He was breathing irregularly in rage and sadness.

“Now…” he panted, “Give me a vessel, goddess! Let me go home as you promised…!”

“Promise?” Calypso asked almost innocently, “I don’t recall promising such thing!”

Odysseus felt like someone had stabbed him in the heart.

“What?!” he croaked out, “But you said…”

“I said that you need to entertain me, Odysseus, to return me my gifts of Xenia but I did not promise I would immediately give you the means to make a vessel. And besides did you honestly think that one night is enough to buy your life’s worth?”

“I am ruined!” Odysseus cried out, “I am ashamed! I will probably never be able to face my wife and son again! WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME!” he finally yelled beyond his wits.

Calypso looked at him sincerely.

“I want you to love me, Odysseus!”

She stood up, taking advantage of his sudden shock.

“At first I was curious…I was not sure how mortals make love; this desperation that is linked to your temporary nature… Does it feel better for you that you know you are doomed? To us is just another pass time sometimes but to mortals it means so much more… But…”

She actually almost blushed! Odysseus though felt disgust and hatred.

“…But now, I am not sure if I can let you go! After feeling you…I just confirmed what I knew. You cured my loneliness…you filled an empty spot I never knew I had in my heart! I love you, Odysseus! And I want you to love me like I do…”

“Love?” Odysseus chocked in the word, “You call this love?!”

This was the only way the immortals knew to show love? Tormenting the mortals?

“I know I can win your heart, my love…” Calypso ignored him, “I know I can help you live here…with me…how to make you mine…and I shall be yours as your wife!”

“You will NEVER be my wife!”

“Oh but you are wrong, my dear. We united before gods and witnesses! You are my husband now, by the laws of gods!”

“Never! I have a wife! She waits for me! You are not my wife and you shall never be! I want to leave! You can’t hold me here!”

“You stayed one year with the witch Circe! Why acting so pious all of the sudden?”

For one moment the king of Ithaca saw only red. His hand grabbed her throat before he would realize it. Calypso was shocked only for one second but then a smirk crept to her lips.

“Like you mean it, Odysseus…” she whispered in a mocking manner, “…Like you mean it!”

Odysseus was shivering in anger. Oh, how easy it seemed if he could snap that neck that seemed so delicate! And yet he knew the truth; those bones beneath were not mortal bones and he would never manage to do anything to them and even if he did, she wouldn’t die…no, she wouldn’t die…! He let go of her running out of the room.

“You will never leave this place, you know…” Calypso’s casual voice stopped him in his tracks, “This island from the land till the currents around the sea respond to my will. Every single breeze and wave shall bring you back….”

Odysseus did not want to believe this! He ran out of the grotto. At the beach he knew he had no vessel but at that moment roaming the sea like he had come to this island didn’t seem as terrible as the fate that awaited him here. He threw a log in the water and tried to paddle away on it but, indeed the waves pushed him back on shore. He tried again with no avail. He desperately jumped into the sea to swim with all his might but the result was the same. Exhausted and exasperated Odysseus was once more pushed to the shores of Ogygia.

“No!” Odysseus yelled as he paced up and down like a wounded tiger in the cage.

In his anger he roared and threw a rock to the waves but that’s all he could do. He gave up. He sat down the sand, drawing his knees to his chest and remained silent under the stars… In what seemed like eons, he heard Calypso’s light footsteps upon the sand and the pebbles.

“Odysseus…” she called for him, “Come inside, it is getting late”

“No thank you!” he replied in a low dangerous voice

“You shall need to eat something, my love, come back inside.”

“Your price is too high to pay!”

“Come inside, Odysseus” she repeated, “I will order for your meal to be prepared.”

“I’d rather die of hunger and cold!”

Calypso sighed. It was the type of sigh a disappointed mother would give to a child.

“As you wish” she said, “But remember you should know better not to cross with me that much, my darling. I love your spirit, I really do, however you should know better that I shall not ask twice…”

Odysseus turned to look at the waves so she wouldn’t see his jaw shiver…so she wouldn’t see the fear in his eyes. Yes, he knew. Achilles was just a mortal man and yet all he needed to do was to plead his goddess mother to bring misfortune upon all Achaeans… He didn’t even dare to imagine what this immortal could do if she wanted. What if she ordered immortal nymphs of the oceans to drown his beautiful little kingdom? What stopped her from doing this…? Finally he heard her footsteps as she walked away. Odysseus was left alone…

As he was sitting there…his tears began to flow in the middle of the cold night. He buried his face in his folded arms.

“Gods! Is this, then, my fate…? Being the lapdog of a goddess every time she pleases? Shall this be the fate of Odysseus of Ithaca? Alas! Why! Why gods! I only made one mistake! I only…why! Why! Haven’t I graced you all with sacrifices and worship? Why did you abandon me? Over one mistake…?”

The smell of cooked meat came to his nostrils. His stomach growled in hunger. Once more he lamented himself and his mortal nature. He was hungry and Calypso knew that and she was using it to torment him. He clenched his head with his hands.

“Oh, alas! Is that what my men had to suffer out there…? Is this why their mortal bodies could take no more?”

He wondered why, how could he forget his lament over their loss for so long!

“That cursed witch and her spells!” he lamented, “Taking away this sorrow…putting my conscious to sleep!”

He remembered his promise…

“I have to survive…If I die here who is going to remember them? Who is going to know they were here? Who is going to tell their story? I am the only one left! I am the only one who can remember them…”

He heard the waves…his heart felt cold and heavy like the stones residing in the ocean. I don’t even have a tomb for them…he thought, I can’t even build them a funeral pyre… He felt his curly hair with his hand. His long hair was the crown on his head; thick and long; they had tangled a lot from the wind and the salt water while he traveled, almost forming natural locks. Ever since he arrived to Calypso’s isle it was always neatly combed and washed. His hand searched the beach and caught a sharp stone. He held his hair with one hand and then with the stone, slowly and methodically he cut it short as his nape… He held that hair in his hand before throwing it in the sea…the last funerary tribute that he could give them. He would survive. He would survive even if he meant to do anything for it! He would try to reach Ithaca! He would continue their legacy!

Calypso was sitting by the fire as her maids stirred the stew in the cauldron. She looked up and smiled. Odysseus was standing there. His face was like stone; his eyes bottomless and liquid. His hair that used to be thick and long now it was cut. His eyes were stained and burnt from tears. Calypso though smiled. She had confidence in herself that her spouse would learn to love her. It was only a matter of time and she had all the time in the world.

“Odysseus!” she whispered, “I am so glad you decided to come…”

She extended her richly adorned hand towards him. That hand that had given him life now it seemed ready to severe it.

“Come…” she urged softly, “Come to sit by the fire to get warm…we have dinner almost ready…”

One last tear ran down his cheek. Yes, he would survive no matter the cost; even if that would be his sanity and honor! The gods were silent to his prayers. He was alone. He had to survive alone…

He spoke no words anymore…

He walked in the grotto…

~~~

Oh my gosh! What have I done indeed! TT_TT but yeah...I do not fully regret! I believe this wll be the 3rd and final part of Sirvor's Guilt/Duty and I hope you enjoyed the wild ride!

Calypso weaving was inspired by this amazing soundtrack from "The Perfume"

youtube

Calypso showing Odysseus the events that occured before he arrived was inspired by the Odyssey since Odysseus mentions in his narrative how he was filled in the details by Calypso

I just HAD to include the Skylla moment because it was one of the most brutal description in the Odyssey so one can see how much Odysseus was traumatized!

Now as for how Calypso knows the details well...gods are often depicted to know things even if they aren't there (even if at other times they don't!)

And my extra explanation as to why Odysseus could not go anywhere.

The After Note was inspired by the clip from nbc Dracula (particulary the expression of poor Odysseus so read at your own accord! xd)

youtube

~~~~~~~~~

(After note)

The night was silent as always on Ogygia. The silence could strangle you. Odysseus slowly lifted himself from the narrow bed. His expression was unreadable. It was as if the pain and sorrow had left a permanent dark scar to his face that would never allow anyone to see him smile again. His hair was tangled and his beard untidy almost just like the bed that seemed even messier. He looked to the side and his eyes darkened even further, if that would even be possible, as he gazed upon Calypso’s body. She was sleeping on her stomach, with her head towards the other direction, one of her beautiful legs drawn slightly towards her. Her dark hair adorned with gold, seashells and pearls were flowing all around her like second layer of jewels and yet to Odysseus they seemed like deadly tentacles; like the heads of the dreadful Skylla that consumed his comrades when it seemed like an eternity prior. Her soft breathing was barely heard and yet to Odysseus it was echoing in his brain driving him mad. He was choking. He needed fresh air! He slowly got out of the bed, feeling the light pain down his back. He walked out of the room, feeling the cold stone of the grotto under his bare feet. He didn’t care at all that he was absolutely naked at that moment; he didn’t bother to cover himself even if there was a possibility one of the nymphs of Calypso to be around. Odysseus felt there was no sense of shame in him anymore. He ignored the nudity of his body as well as a few small scratches and bruises upon it that were accidentally caused by some miscalculation on Calypso’s strength during some of their endless nights of her passion and intercourse. Calypso had apologized of course. But then again Odysseus had stopped caring. He had tried resisting her before but with no avail, as she was much stronger than what he was. He had even tried begging her; one night! Spare me at least one night! However long now, Odysseus had stopped caring. There was no fight in him anymore.

It had been two years already, the king of Ithaca had calculated; two years of torture and despair. His hair that he had cut as a tribute to his dead men had already started to grow longer. If it were in his hands he wouldn’t even bother to brush it anymore. He didn’t feel much like grooming himself or taking care of himself. He didn’t seem to see the point in it anymore and, besides, there more unattractive he appeared in her eyes, the better. If it weren’t for the nymphs who prepared him regularly for these nightly torments of his then Odysseus probably would have stopped doing anything. The longing for return was eating his guts like a worm eating the flesh of a rotten apple; he could almost feel it through his gut! However the hope for his return was getting slimmer and slimmer. And it wasn’t just his bitter nostos that was eating him up. It was also haste and doubt. Calypso had planted that seed of doubt before and now she kept watering it with every night of abuse that Odysseus had to suffer. He was closing in that island as long as he took to travel there. Ten years he was away to Troy, three years he was traveling, losing his men one by one and now two years of imprisonment. He was away from home 15 years. What if Calypso for once was right? What if Penelope out of seer coercion decided that he was long dead and had to marry again? What would happen to him then if that last piece of him was uprooted from him? Or, much worse, what would happen if… No, Odysseus thought, that scenario he didn’t want to accept! Not Penelope…Penelope was different! She would never cheat on his memory, right? She had promised to him she would wait for his return…

“And how long is she supposed to wait for you?” there was a voice in the back of his head, “You left her wait 15 years…who would wait that long?”

Who indeed? Who would remain faithful to a man who disappeared for so long? Odysseus shivered. He didn’t even want to think about it, despite the doubt biting his heart like a snake. He remembered Agamemnon, whom he had met in the bitter ends of the Underworld. He told him to beware for his wife murdered him upon his return…with her lover.

“No! Not, Penelope! Penelope would never…”

This thought he had made so many times while residing at the beach crying or even within the arms of Calypso at night. These thoughts constantly twirling in his mind. Penelope was a kind woman when he met her. A nice soft bride. However as Calypso had said; they were married almost 20 years and yet he had known her for around a handful. What if she wasn’t who he thought she was? What if she was coerced to change? And his sweet Telemachus…his son would be now 15 years of age; around the age he was when he got his infamous scar by the boar at Parnassus. His son would be practically a man now; independent and strong. He had missed a quarter of his life; his son probably feared his father would be dead. He felt like every single day he spent on that island would be a tick to the clock against him; Penelope marrying again and Telemachus never knowing his father or hearing his voice… This was way too much to bear… His whole life moving on without him was way too much to endure. His pain was eating him up. His hair had started to grow gray. He knew his own youth was long gone however the silver edges to his temples shouldn’t normally appear so fast. His father never grew white. Even when he left for war he had his black hair almost intact and barely started to grow gray. However Odysseus felt like his own features had changed over the years. He saw himself at a polished bronze mirror once and he was surprised. He could hardly recognize the prematurely aged man inside the copper surface. Calypso didn’t seem bothered though. She even seemed to enjoy this change that his torment had brought about him; perhaps she was charmed by his mortal nature; this nature that showed how helpless existence was, that no matter what one did, their time on this earth would be counted for anyways.

Eventually he reached the entrance of the wide, white cave. He was greeted by the sounds of the night and the cold night breeze. Odysseus, though, didn’t shiver nor did he feel it. It was as if his body had turned into marble; his heart into stone. It didn’t matter if in the mornings he was seeking sanctuary to the solitude of the sandy beach and there he would bawl his eyes out almost all day; having nothing else to do but gaze at the waves and cry. In the night Odysseus was a cold statue; as if he had no more tears to shed. As he stood there, listening to the song of the crickets and the waves to the far beyond he felt weak…he felt helpless…he felt like nobody…Oh, how many times had he wished he could get in her room and kill her! How many times he wished he could snap her neck, smother her with a pillow or open that delicate throat with his sword! But he knew it would be impossible. He looked up and noticed a night bird flying to the sky. His furious eyes became liquid and his fists clenched painfully.

“If only you never existed…!” he thought bitterly, “If only you gods never existed! Then us mortals could live our life in peace!”

He was always faithful to the gods. Many people had said he was the best when it came to sacrifices and respect. But now it all seemed pointless in the cover of this dreadful night and all the nights before. Odysseus had come to fear the night and its creatures and feeling disgust by them and he came to hate the day because it only held solitude and sadness. He didn’t even get his usual nightmares as he often got when he slept for the past years; it was as if he was completely hollow. There was hardly anything left of him anymore. Not even his faith. He watched the night owl fly soundlessly in the moonlight and his heart was filled with anger and despair. Athena, why did you abandon me, he thought. Curse you too! How can you leave me like this! However as if he realized the severity of his own mind his eyes watered and a tear ran down his cheek.

“Gods, I am turning into a monster…” he thought, “If I lose my faith to the gods…then…then what’s left of me then…? Is there anything left of Odysseus of Ithaca, father to sweet Telemachus and son of Laërtes?”

He looked back at the grotto that had become his salvation and now his prison and torture. Oh, how he wished he turned that place into a second Troy! How he wished he had his trusty bow that he left to Ithaca, to shoot his arrows to all these creatures that tormented him and set this place in fire! If only he could! He visualized so many times driving arrows to the sensitive flesh of these women and leaving Calypso for last… He would enter her rooms dripping the dark blood of her companions; naked sword in hand so she could see; take a good look on what she did to him and then she would feel the kiss of the metal to her tender throat… He visualized her death so many times that he could almost taste it… Something in his mind snapped. He could almost feel like doing it. Eyes on fire and dripping hot tears he clenched his fists to the point of almost breaking the skin with his nails. He slowly marched to the room only to find her sleeping in the same position; totally unperturbed by his torment.

“Why am I the monster…?” he thought, “And she can sleep peacefully…? After everything she did to me…?”

As madness crept even more into his heart as his infamous temper was about to explode his hands were clenching in a painful grip but he refused to feel the pain. Maybe he could do it tonight. Maybe he could try… Perhaps she was a normal nymph after all; immortal but not indestructible! Maybe he could take his vengeance from this magnificent being that tormented him in the cover of the night, why not? He had done this before. One more sin to add to his miserable life; one more attempt! He could at least try. If it didn’t work, the worst case scenario would be that he would be liberated from this if her anger turned against him! Slowly and soundlessly like a lion in the night he crept on the bed over her. His onyx eyes were even darker than the night around him; yes, he could try! Slowly and carefully he crawled over her when…

An iron hand grabbed his throat, cutting his breath for one second.

Odysseus felt his heart skip a beat. He recognized that soft hand; it was smooth and sleek like silk but held the power of three men in that tiny touch. Suddenly all his previous resolve; his madness evaporated in thin air by the reminder of her strength. No, he had absolutely no chance of doing anything to her. She was no ordinary nymph. She was the daughter of the titan Atlas, the man who held the sky… That grip on his throat lasted for only one second because immediately after it turned into a tender touch to the sides of his neck, followed by a second hand that held him there; softly and yet demandingly. Calypso raised her body to meet his face with hers; her eyes glistering with love and passion.

“Odysseus…!” she whispered

Her voice was barely audible and yet Odysseus didn’t really feel like reacting anymore as those lips sealed his and kissed him deeply. Odysseus felt exhausted. It was as if all his previous anger had taken the life out of him. He knew he had no choice but to respond to her kiss. He had come to know her. He grasped her hair to the back of her head and pulled desperately; in a weak and pitiful attempt to hurt her back. It was his way of showing the weak resistance he could; he would often grab or pull her hair when she kissed him or grasp her in what would have been a bruising grip for any other grown mortal man but it didn’t work on Calypso and he knew it, if anything it was almost like confirmation to her that he was equally passionate, giving her the wrong impression. He knew it was doing nothing. It was just his last way to show his will. As Calypso wrapped her beautiful legs around his waist she pulled him down with her.

Odysseus felt his tears dry in his eyes.

He was once more a statue.

He chose not to feel…

#greek mythology #the odyssey #katerinaaqu writing

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alltheworldsinmyhead · 4 years ago

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my predictions for a court of silver flames (and the book 5)

since i’ve just forced myself to re-read acofas, i emerge now with head clear and heart full of utter dismay for feysand bullshit. this novella is pretty good at setting up a ton of hints for the next book, so at least there’s that. here are some of the plot points/character arcs which i think are worth to keep in mind before reading acosf, especially for those who finished reading acowar and acofas a while ago.

MOR

Mor is going on a journey to the Continent as a Night Court ambassador, possibly with Azriel. I don’t know to which extent this escapade will be described, but it will definitely happen and it will be important for both of them - Mor especially. My personal opinion is that the toxic triangle in which she’s tangled up with Cass and Az will meet its sad end in this book, due to many reasons such as Cassian;s relationship with Nesta, Az’s growing interest in Elain and, hopefully, Mor’s own growth as a person or her new romance. I also think that Mor’s relationship with her father will be a major plotpoint and the Court of Nightmare will play a BIG role either in this book or in the next one. Also-

ERIS

Eris will take the throne from Beron in acosf. I will be shocked if he doesn’t. Possibly the reprecussions of this event will be discussed in the next book. Also possibly, there may be some kind of coup that will result in killing more than one High Lord (yes, I am thinking about Helion)

ELAIN

I’m sorry, but I literally cannot see it any other way - Elain will deny the mating bond with Lucien. The hints for this are scattered all over acofas. She doesn’t want it and she is not, in any freaking way, interested in him nor she is even interested in being interested. I think she’ll also get some opportunities to show more of her character and, hopefully, Mass will finally let her utilize her powers in some sensible way, but this might be saved for the next book.

TAMLIN

Lucien warned Feyre they will need Tamlin as an ally ‘before the dust settles’. I am half-tempted to make an assumption that Tam will die in acosf, but it’s not based on any evidence, so it’s just my personal theory. Regardless, I do believe the destruction of the Spring Court will fucking bite half of Feyre’s ass in the following books and Tamlin either redeems himself (whether or not he should redeem himself when he is already in such a pitiful state is another question) or truly become a villian of the series. The one thing acofas hammered in my head is that his story with Feyre is far from over.

LUCIEN

My fucking heart bleeds for him. My prediction is that he will cut all the ties with the Night Court, if he did not already done it after Feyre was an absolute bitch to him in acofas. I am also like 80% sure that Helion will die and Lucien will inherit the Day Court, thus getting a permanent place to call home, just as he has always wanted (but absolutely not IN A WAY he has wanted). Besides that, I am only praying for Mass to grant him some fucking happiness. i have no doubt that his relationship with Vassa and Jurian will be discussed in more details, if not, I am rioting.

AZRIEL

There are a couple of issues Azriel will have to deal with in this and the following book:

a) his doomed relationship with Mor,

b) his blooming romance/friendship with Elain,

c) his Illyrian identity.

I do think acosf will be a begining of some longer journey for him. Based on the snippets, I think we can also expect a lot of interactions between him and Nesta and I am so fucking excited for it that I can barely contain it.

Also, I subscribe to the theory that Az’s mom lives in the misterious Rosehall and that we will meet her soon.

FEYRE AND RHYSAND

They are basically the same person at this point, let’s be honest.

Rhys will contine to be horny 24/7 and Feyre will continue to focus on small, non-important stuff instead of the actual business of ruling and managing the court, and they will both remain to be terribly self-involved -

okay, enough of my bitterness.

I HOPE Feyre won’t be pregnant in the next book, but let’s be honest, it will probably happen rather soon, so, there’s that. From the snippet of acosf in acofas, it seems that they will have some disagreement about Nesta and I am all for it. Besides that, I think their personal arcs and journeys are over and I believe that there won’t be too much of them in the next books. Same with Amren - I don’t think she will play a big role, besides being an awesome secondary character.

NESTA’S and CASSIAN’s arcs seem to be rather obvious, unless Sarah will somehow break our necks with the narrative 180 degrees spin. I think the biggest mistery is whether or not they are truly mates but, regardless of that, they will end acosf as a couple. Personally, I don’t belive Cassian will die in this book. Sarah is pretty allergic to killing her protagonists in a permanent way. Given that he has already suffered two major injuries throughout the series, I am inclined to belive that it’s time for Cassian to give in to fury over injured Nesta. In my book, there are two possible routes for them to get together:

1) a lot of angsty, heart-breaking hate sex slowly transforming into comraderie, friendship and, finally, romance,

2) no sex, only angsty misunderstandings and sexual frustration strong enough to push them into romantic relationship fairly quickly which then results in more misunderstandings, wrong ideas about each other’s feelings and a whole fucking mess of feelings.

Nesta and Emerie will, in 1000% meet and become friends as Nesta truly fucking needs her own found-faimily type of friends. She will also discover and develop her powers, learn to manage her emotions and to have healthy relationships with people whom she loves.

Cassian will have a somehow similar arc as Feyre in acomaf, during which he will realize his own true potential and self-worth.

Some plotlines I expect to happen:

ILLYRIAN UPRISING

I think it’s rather unavoidable at the point and it will come as a surprise to no one. I also think Devlon may turn out to be an unexpected ally.

RIFT IN THE INNER CIRCLE

This one is something which I hope for, cause it would make so much sense, but I am quite apprehensive to make any definite statements about it. If Cassian and Nesta are to get together in acosf, I cannot see it happening in a way which will not disrupt the delicate balance of the inner circle given a) Nesta’s relationship with Rhys and b) Cassian’s with Mor. In general, I do believe Cassian;s arc will be about gaining confidence in himself and his own feelings and insticts, which will involve some separation from his friends. Also, the downfall of Az-Mor-Cass simply cannot be executed bloodlessly.

ANCIENT POWERS RISING

Feyre toyed with the very fabric of this universe. It has to have some kind of consequences. At this point, we know Koshei will make an appearance (in regards to Vassa), Bryaxis is still on the loose (and Feyre has still not fullfilled her bargain) AND we got an interesting scene of Mor sensing something evil luring in the forests around her estate in acofas.

and last but not least-

WE WILL LEARN WHAT WAS IN THE FUCKING BOX

please feel free to add your own predictions and expectations! I’m sure i missed a lot of stuff

#let me know what you think pls #a court of silver flames #acosf #nessian #acotar #acotar meta #nesta archeron #cassian #feysand #acofas #a court of frost and starlight

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honeybomb4thebear · 4 years ago

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“Hometown Visit”

Setting: Non-Despair AU, winter break of their 3rd year.

Teruteru and Y/N have been dating for a while now and realizing how sweet, understanding and adorable Y/N is, Teruteru can’t help but think of her as his future wife.

Then he remembers his promise which he made to his dear mother: “I’ll bring my future wife, too!”

Teruteru Hanamura x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Happy late birthday, Teruteru! I love you :) <3

"Y/N." "Yes, pumpkin?" "You... Really believe that I'm not from Aoyama, right?" "I always knew that you weren't, sweetie. You shouldn't worry too much about it. C'mon, we're almost there." Teruteru seemed a lot more nervous than usual. Which wasn't saying a lot, since you got to see him like this quite a bit, but this was still different when he messed up making a dish (which was caused by Hiyoko's mischiefs) or someone had a false guess about his ingredients. You and Teruteru were on your way to visit his mother, since he thought that it was finally time for his mom to meet his "future wife". He sure was happy as hell, and kind of smug, even. But you understood how much it meant for this little guy. So you held his hand tightly, giving him a reassuring smile, even though you too were nervous about meeting your future mother-in-law. Soon enough, the train has stopped and you two got off of it. You couldn't help but give occasional glances to your boyfriend, who seemed geniuenly happy yet really, really nervous. You remember him mentioning something about how "the next time he visited his mother he would bring his future wife too", and it made your heart melt. You couldn't help smiling, you knew he considered you as his future spouse but it still made you happy whenever you remembered his words. It was winter, so the cold air was refreshing to you. It made you think of beginnings, with the freshly fallen snow crunching under your feet, the cold air keeping you fully awake and of course, with your relationship which will get even more serious once you see your boyfriend's mother who is clearly very dear to him. "Are you cold, Teru? Did you make sure to cover your face properly?" you said, right before fixing his scarf to protect his button-like red nose from cold. "I-I'll be alright, didn't I told ya!" he said, stepping back instictively. You were shocked, as you expected a lewd comeback from him, as usual. But well, considering the situation you were in it was only natural if Teruteru wasn't acting as how he was usually. "...I-I'm sorry, darling," he said, fiddling with his fingers, "it's just... I'm... Nervous, you see?" You smiled understandingly, "I know. And I don't mind that, you see? But do calm down a bit, I'm sure I will get along with your mother just fine, since I'm sure she is as sweet as her son is." Teruteru's eyes sparkled in admiration. Soon, the sparkles changed into more smug ones. Even though you couldn't see it through his scarf, you knew too well that he was smiling. "It is indeed true that I'm sweet. I'm sweetly... Sexy." You laughed and messed with his hair through his beanie, "that's my boy. Yes, you are my sweetly sexy boy, but you are unbelievably sweet as well." "..." After riding a taxi there, you finally arrived to his house. It was a small yet cozy-looking diner even from outside, something exactly you would call... Home. You two stepped inside. Soon, Teruteru took off his beanie and scarf, and his flustered (yet undeniably adorable) expression was revealed. "Where is she?" you asked. "Must be resting," he sounded rather serious; so after taking off your scarf and beanie (and stuffing them inside your bag), you followed after him. "Mama?" "Oh? Oh! Teruteru! You're finally here!" A cheery voice has filled the room, and soon enough you saw a plump woman with a modest smile that reminded you of your boyfriend. And before realizing it, you smiled as well. It was such a heartwarming reunion, with Teruteru hugging his mother and his mother caressing his hair lovingly. You rarely saw him as peaceful as this, and you could understand why since you could almost feel how much they missed each other. It must have been relieving for your boyfriend to finally reunion with his mother whom he got worried about and cherished a lot. "I'm finally home." "Welcome back, Teru." Then he stepped back, looking directly at her with a cheery smile. "I kept my promise," he said, stepping back so that she could see you. "I brought my future 'wife' to you." When her gaze landed on you, you couldn't help blushing because- well, you were meeting your boyfriend's mother for the first time! And then you wondered to yourself, was it okay to call him your fiancee since you two will end up getting married?.. Probably? "Ah," she said, to your surprise actually excited, "there you are! Nice to meet you, have you been taking good care of my son? Did he cause you any trouble?" She was shaking your hands with both of her fragile hands, her touch gentle and almost fleeting. You smiled at her while Teru protested, saying something along the lines of "I wouldn't do anything to upset my pumpkin!" or whatever, you were too relieved to listen. She was actually nice and welcoming! You really had nothing to worry about. Sure, she did make sure that you two were getting along just fine, but other than that she was super warm to you. After Teruteru questioned her health, making sure that she was as comfortable and as energetic as she could be, you three sat down and started to chit chat a bit. Things were going all smooth, until... "So when are you two getting married?" The unexpected question- but well, was it really unexpected when he literally introduced you as his future spouse? "O-oh... I think we would like to... Graduate first," you said, a bit flustered. "...Yes, and I need to save the diner," Teruteru said with a determined tone in his voice, to which his mother laughed. "Oh, my sweet Teru! You don't have to worry about diner, it'll be fine, just fine!" "There is no way I can not worry..." he averted his eyes, and for a short while you noticed him looking at you. "I want to support him," you said, wanting to let him know that you are here, with him, "so marriage can wait, I want to see him achieve his dreams first. And what good of a fiancee I am if I don't respect his dreams?" "Y/N..." you gave a reassuring smile to your boyfriend who seemed geniuenly touched. "I see," your mother-in-law said, "knew it. My sweet Teru did find a really good one after all. I knew he would," she smiled. "I-it's... Not a big deal," you murmured. Teruteru was quiet, yet he was smiling warmly. You smiled at him as well, enjoying the situation you were in. "Now, now, aren't you cute?" his mother barged in, "you must be tired now. Why dontcha change into comfy clothes and eat the snacks I prepared for you?" "I missed your cooking, momma!" it was always nice to see your boyfriend all excited, and it was especially adorable in this situation. "I'm glad to hear that," she said. "Now, go. You can sleep after eating." ---- "Simple is the best after all..." You smiled at your boyfriend who was clearly enjoying himself while eating the snacks his mother had prepared for you. He seemed peaceful and yet somehow enlightened. Sure, his mother's cooking wasn't as good as his own, but still; it was delicious and as cliche as it sounded- made with love. "Sometimes I forget it, y'know," he said, "I sometimes forget the reason why I am cooking... I get too blinded by my desire of fame and fortune... But, thanks to you and my mother, I remember it soon enough." You held his hand. "To make the person you love happy, right?" "Right," his grip tightened, "you always make sure to make me remember it, and... I ain't sure if ya do it on purpose or nah, 'cuz it all feels... Natural." "Because it is natural," you said, now caressing his hand with your thumb, "I love you, so it's only natural that I want the best for you and I work hard for your sake. I am going to marry you, remember?" "...Thank you." "No need to thank me." "But," was he crying? "Except there is!" He WAS crying! "I be always sayin' unimportant stuff, makin' others pissed, and be a pervy bastard, but are ya tellin' me that... Ya dun' mind? How!? How're ya that kind!?" "I am not kind..." You said, while wiping his tears. "I just can see through you. You do act like a 'pervy bastard' but I know that you aren't one. Sure, you ARE a pervert-" "Y/N this isn't helping." "...But, I know that you just want to joke around. You don't actually want to hurt anyone, or make them uncomfortable for the matter of the fact, you are just trying to be kind and make others laugh," you kissed his forehead. "Although you do a terrible job." "I'll try harder..." he muttered. "I know. And I also know that you are far more thoughtful than you used to be, and that makes me really happy," you caressed his cheek as he leaned into your touch. "So... I'm glad, Teruteru. And I want to support you even more than I am doing right now." "I dun' reckon that's possible..." he noticed his dialect and cleared his throat (which made you giggle a bit), "but still, you can try, my love. Because I know I will. I will support you too." He planted a long kiss on your hand, which made you blush. Seeing your flushed face, he got all smug again and kissed you on the lips. It may have lead to something more, but you heard your future mother-in-law clear her throat. "If ya feel tired, ya can go to bed, yanno? Just make sure that ya don't break the bed!" Well shit.

It was kinda rushed, sorry! I hope you liked it, though. Stan the chef boi

#teruteru hanamura #hanamura teruteru #teruteru #danganronpa #danganronpa sdr2 #sdr2 #hanamura teruteru x reader #teruteru x reader #teruteru hanamura x reader #danganronpa fluff #fluff #goodbye despair #danganronpa x reader #super danganronpa 2

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chrichri-chan-18-love · 4 years ago

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Omegas don’t bow (Yandere Alpha Katsuki Bakugou x Female Omega Reader x Yandere Alpha Izuku Midoriya) Part 12

As you returned to your seat, you waited patiently until it was Katsuki’s turn again, this time he was going against Todoroki. You had seen the boy and it had been a very interesting case, clearly he hated his father more than anything and Izuku had helped him get over the fact that his fire quirk, was his and nobody elses.

Katsuki on the other hand seemed more or less interested in winning... but you could already tell that he wanted a fight where both would give their best... but Shoto’s eyes already showed that he wasn’t planning on going all out.

“Well, hopefully Katsuki won’t me too angry about it.” You mumurmed and watched as the two began fighting, Shoto was aiming for a quick victory while Katsuki was trying to force his opponent to use his full power. You looked carefully as the battle raged on, there was a moment where Shoto obviously thought about using his power... but in the end he refused to do it. You kept watching but eventually decided that the winner had already been decided, Shoto was strong but his uncertain and seemingly confused state of mind wasn’t allowing him to use his second quirk.

You decided to leave seeing as there was no point in watching anymore. Suddenly there was a loud crash and you glanced behind to see Shoto unconscious and Katsuki barely able to stand, he slowly reached towards his opponent, claiming that this wasn’t how he wanted to win before passing out. As the teachers took them, you went over and asked them to stay with Katsuki for a short while but they said that they needed to do preparations, since he was the winner.

“ It’s necessary, given the boy’s personality” Midnight said and you nodded before looking over at where the other students of the hero course were, Izuku seemed concerned and you wondered if it was for the same reason as the teachers.

You waited patiently, wondering what kind of “preparations” were necessary...when the winners were brought out, you nearly burst out laughing. Katsuki’s first place was one U.A would never forget, that was sure. You noticed when he looked over at you and you hid your amusement with a serious expression and a quick glance at Shoto.

Katsuki didn’t like that, why were you looking at that half and half bastard?! Not only had he failed to gain the victory he ultimately desired but his Omega was also looking at another Alpha?! Hell no!!!

When All Might gave him his medal... or rather, forced him to accept the medal, Katsuki felt humiliated. But he would change that, there was no fucking way he would let things as they were.

Later that day you went to see how Izuku was doing. He was in a really bad mood but you managed to cheer him up by saying that once he was in a better condition, the two of you could go out together in any place he liked. That alone made him smile and you didn’t know that he was already planning everything, from what to wear to how long you’d stay in each place he’d pick for the two of you. In his mind, this was another date that the two of you would go as an unofficial couple... hopefully he’d become your boyfriend sooner rather than later... he couldn’t afford to loose to Katsuki... not when you were on the line.

~TIME SKIP: A FEW DAYS LATER~

You waited patiently as your parents kept talking about how amazing your friends had been when they fought at the sport’s festival. It had been two hours by now and honestly... you were getting bored of hearing the same things over and over again. Suddenly, you received a message from Katsuki, he wanted you to come by his house, probably because he felt that you were looking down on him or something like that.

As you left your house you stopped by and got a few pastries before going to his house. When you knocked on the door, Katsuki’s mother opened the door and was extremely happy to see you, giving you a hug that nearly made you faint before letting you in.

“To think that brat is friends with such a wonderfull girl, he better not fuck this up!” He said and then turned and began shouting for Katsuki to come down.

“SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG!!!”

“GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE! (NAME) CAME TO VISIT YOU!”

At those words Katsuki came down with an annoyed expression, he looked at you and growled, you sighed and walked towards him as he returned back to his room. His mother told him that she was going out with Izuku’s mom and warned Katsuki not to make you angry as the two of you kept walking until you reached his bedroom. When you both were alone, he pulled you closer and threw you on his bed.

“Katsuki, you either stop whatever the hell you’re thinking, or I use my quirk and I make you stop.” You warned but he ignored you and he hid his face between your breasts. You felt him relax and wondered if he wanted some sort of support. You decided to just give in this one time, thus you wrapped your arms around him in a gentle but reassuring hug.

Katsuki looked at your face and saw a small and warm smile, that alone was enough for his insticts to scream at him to claim you, his cock began to come to life and he leaned closer towards your face.

“ I saw you looking at that half and half bastard. What was the deal, huh?!”

“ Well, I was dissapointed with him. He couldn’t control his fire and decided to go all out with his ice against you. Well, not that his fire would have changed the result.”

At your words Katsuki got curious, you seemed to have analyzed his fight and he wondered what was going inside your head. And seeing as you weren’t seeing Todoroki as an Alpha or a man... it made him relax a bit more.

“ What the hell does that mean?”

“ Todoroki couldn’t control his second quirk, which probably meant that it’d put him in a great disadvantage, also he clearly didn’t know how to deal with you and your attacks. He didn’t think how best to fight you, he just blindly entered a fight without really thinking of his opponents moves or strategies.”

“You haven’t seen that half and half bastard fight, that’s why you say that.”

“Has he used his fire before the sport’s festival? If not, then he isn’t really making any progress. If he wants to become number one, he must learn to use both of his quirks. When he does that, then the two of you should have another fight, only then will the true number one be clear.” You said and Katsuki seemed to understand your train of thought. If his opponent could properly use his quirk, then there was no point in fighting, he couldn’t prove he was the best unless his opponent learnt how to control his quirk in order to face him in an all out fight.

“I guess... you’re right.” He said and you chuckled, leaning forward you looked in his eyes and said in a gentle tone.

“Good work winning in the sports festival. You did well, next time it’ll be better.”

Katsuki couldn’t hold back anymore, he forced his lips on yours in a feverish kiss, your gasped in surprise and that gave him enough time to invade your mouth with his tongue. He battled with your tongue for dominance as he rubbed himself on you, trying to get you to respond to his advances. When he finally retreated for air, you gave him a small glare, suddenly you felt something hard between your legs... your eyes widen and you used your quirk on him, a pair of chains that forced him to move backwards towards the end of his bed.

“Hey! What’s the big idea?!”

“ That’s my line! I’m not going to have sex with you,”

Katsuki rolled his eyes but didn’t answer, right now the only thing on his mind was that he was so hard it hurt. You seemed to notice that and made the chains dissapear, coming closer you looked into his eyes and well.... he seemed to get the message.

He unzipped his pants, freeing his cock and looking at you. You lowered yourself and grabbed his length, giving it a few gentle strokes before licking the tip. Katsuki moaned, you did that a few more times before eventually taking the whole thing in your mouth, you kept going in a fast pace as your one of your hands squeezed his balls while the other kept stroking him, making him groan and call your name. His hands went on top of your head, forcing you to take more and more of length in your mouth.

“Fuck! This feels amazing! Dammit, I didn’t think it’d be this good!” He said as you kept going, Katsuki felt himself reaching his end and before he could form a clear thought he climaxed with one loud groan. You swallowed his cum before moving away.

You didn’t talk, nor did you look at him, you just took wiped your mouth, making sure that you had nothing that could reveal what had happened and then left.

Something was wrong, something was very, very wrong with you. And you had to learn what exactly that something was.

#yandere #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugou #alpha-omega au #boku no hero academia #Female reader #R-18

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dancingkirby · 4 years ago

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Azula Week Day 3: Friendship

Summary: Old lady Azula invites Old lady Katara over for tea, and the former speaks her mind. @azulaweek

It was strange, being old. Azula had thought of herself as “late middle age” for as long as she possibly could, but now that she was seventy, there could be no more putting off the inevitable. The process of aging was readily apparent externally, of course. Whenever she looked in the mirror, she saw her nearly-white hair, the wrinkles that marred her once flawless complexion, and the prominent veins and arthritic joints in her hands. What she felt on the inside, however, was more complicated. In many ways, she still felt fourteen, just with fifty-six years’ experience.

One by one, the companions of her youth had met their own destinies. Mai had been dead for nearly ten years now, felled by an assassin’s blade while walking in the garden. Although Azula had not been there to witness it personally, the rumor was that the Fire Lady’s last words had been, “Well, that’s ironic.” Ty Lee, on the other hand, was very much alive. After her groundbreaking work in trauma therapy, many books and papers published, and countless accolades, she had moved to Ember Island for her retirement.

Many of her half-siblings had had distinguished careers as well. Ruanyu had been living in Republic City for decades, and for a time had served as the Fire Nation’s representative in the United Republic Council. Chun, true to Azula’s initial insticts, was the incumbent Minister of Education. Kiyi, however, preferred a more private life with her six children and numerous grandchildren.

Life at the palace was quite staid these days. Zuko, in his widowerhood, liked his books and meditation and tea. He had even mentioned that he might abdicate at some point in the future. Azula had difficulty finding things to keep herself occupied, since her body could no longer endure the hours of grueling firebending practice that had filled her days in her youth. Sometimes, things got so boring that Talent Night was the highlight of her week.

So when Azula heard that her old nemesis Katara was going to visit the Caldera to attend a seminar on healing firebending, she invited her to tea. That was what old ladies did, after all, even if they didn’t particularly like each other. Currently, they were sitting in the tea room decked out in all the proper regalia, appraising each other as servants whisked the tea and laid out the sweets.

Once everyone else had slipped out of the room, Azula leaned forward in her chair (since there was no way their old bones would tolerate kneeling on a tatami mat for extended periods of time), and said, “So. How are things?”

“Quiet,” Katara replied. “I moved back South to be with my daughter after Aang died. It’s harder to find things to do now that he’s gone. I’m still practicing as a midwife and healer, though; that helps fill my days. And we have neighbors, cute young couple, who hire me to babysit their little girl sometimes. It’s strange, because I could swear…”

She broke off abruptly. Azula waited for a few seconds before prompting, “Yes?”

“It’s…it’s nothing. Just a weird feeling,” Katara said before taking a sip of her own tea. Age-related memory hiccup, perhaps? Azula had plenty of experience with those. Or something else..? At any rate, it was clear that Katara would say no more on this subject.

“My days are similarly quiet,” Azula ultimately offered. “My husband has become quite the distinguished elder diplomat. Kazuo looks to follow in his footsteps. His wife is Botan; she’s from a lesser noble family. And they have three daughters: Emi is almost six, Taeko is three, and the baby is Zula. My namesake.” She smirked.

“I don’t have any grandchildren yet myself,” Katara admitted. “There have been…obstacles. But I’m still hopeful.”

They managed to sustain a discussion of harmless topics such as these for much longer than Azula had thought possible. All the while, Azula observed this woman who she hadn’t seen in decades. The waterbender appeared happy enough with this chat; nevertheless, there did seem something...off about her.

Finally, as they were getting around to concluding their get-together, Azula decided to speak up.

“You’ve changed,” she declared as she popped the last daifuku into her mouth.

Katara seemed perplexed. “Haven’t we all?”

Azula was quiet for a few moments, pondering how to phrase her next words while making sure to chew thoroughly so as not to choke on the sticky rice.

“You seem defeated,” she eventually stated. “You’re not the proud, passionate girl who…who bested me in combat all those years ago. Nor even the woman who held her own against me in a different sort of way while I was in labor. It seems as if…you have no idea how to function now that your husband had died.”

“I loved him!” Katara protested. So the girl she had been hadn’t been completely erased after all.

Azula waved a hand and replied, “I’m sure you did. And I’m sure that he reciprocated. But just because you love someone, doesn’t mean that you can’t maintain an identity of your own. Now that I’m thinking about it, I saw warning signs of this as far back as the search for my mother. Almost everything you said was ‘Aang this,” or ‘Sweetie that.’ And the times the Avatar came visiting, he brought only his youngest son, never the older two. You let your husband play favorites with the children when you’ve seen first-hand what that can do? You were powerful, you were independent, and you threw it all away.”

Katara was dumbstruck for several seconds. Nevertheless, she was able to regather her wits and retort, “Wow, I didn’t know that you cared so much about my wellbeing, Azula.”

“Yes! Keep that up!” Azula exclaimed, the edge of her flowing sleeve coming dangerously close to knocking her teacup off the table. “Don’t let anyone make you feel small…not even me! You are not only Katara-the-wife, or Katara-the-mother. You are Katara!” After this, she had to pause to catch her breath.

“I’ve always been the mothering type,” Katara pointed out. “Just ask Toph.”

“But that’s not all you were.”

“I suppose…I…Well, I want to just say you’re wrong, but it’s not…not entirely, at least. There were times where I felt—” She shook her head. “I can’t quite put it into words yet. Where did you learn how to do all that anyway?”

“One of the perks of having a best friend who’s arguably the most famous psychologist on the planet,” Azula said airily. “And she would have told you the same thing. Probably would have been nicer about it, though.”

“At least you gave me something to think about. So…thank you?” Katara ventured as she rose from her chair. Azula rang for a servant to escort her out.

“Perhaps we should do this again someday,” she stated. “That was the most excitement I’ve had since that mongoose lizard got loose in the palace last year.” Upon seeing Katara’s confused expression, she added, “I guess you had to be there.”

“Right. Well…I think I’d like that. Doing this again, I mean.” At that moment, the servant arrived, and Katara left. And now everything was boring again.

#azulaweek2020 #azula #atla #katara #i like that this is exactly 1200 words #waiting until after work to post was torture #The OCs mentioned at the beginning will play a bigger role in my third and final fic for this week

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dreamingsnowflake2013 · 5 years ago

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It would be unrealistic if Type didn’t struggle the way he does - not only is it his first serious relationship but also a relationship with a man, which is something he previously thought to be impossible. Frankly, it’s inevitable that he fucks up many times. Even people who’s been married for decades do that, much less a 20 year old boy who learns to be loved and love in return for the first time in his life. Everything is new for him - all these complicated, messy emotions and situations he’s to deal with, particularly the way they expose his own flaws, must be overwhelming him. On the other hand, there is Tharn, so well-adjusted and fuctional with his supportive and accepting family, emotionally and sexually experienced, but first impressions can be often deceiving and even he has his sorrows and dark secrets; some hidden pain brewing right under the surface.

When Type confronts Tharn about San, Tharn tells him that whenever he tells him anything, he doesn’t listen. He deliberately uses the word “listen” because there is a huge different between hearing, remembering and actually listening. It’s not that Type doesn’t care, on the contrary. He actually remembers everything, every detail Tharn ever told him about himself in the past (his love for Western food (he thinks about it in the restaurant with Puifai), his family, the car Thorn drives, the way he lost his virginity when he was 14,...) and notices all these little things about him, like the different ways he smiles. Even Type’s father immediately notes how his sons spends 2 minutes describing Tharn, including the contours of his face and the shape of his nose, while he didn’t bother to talk about his other friends in the past. However, he doesn’t really ask much about Tharn. At first, he hadn’t because he’s stubborn to show any sort of interest in him and then, when they became true lovers, he was so happy to be with Tharn, in their little piece of heaven where it seemed nothing could touch them. But the world and reality always intervene. It’s like a bubble which bursts with the entrance of an intruder who makes Type face and acknowledge his own shortcomings. Type DOES CARE a lot about Tharn, but he fails at listening to him, that is, UNDERSTANDING AND RESPECTING HIS FEELINGS.

He’s grown too much accustomed that Tharn would do anything for him - accept his temper, change himself for him, agree to his ridiculous excuses and give in to his demands, including keeping their relationship a secret. Tharn’s been giving, while he’s been constantly receiving, growing so used to it, that he keeps pushing for more, imposing his self-centered needs on Tharn. TYPE’S LOVE IS SELFISH, at this point. He makes everything about himself, which is apparent from the frequent use of the 1st person singular: “I’m hurt”, “I hate it”, “it pains ME”... It’s not that Type isn’t curious about Tharn or that he doesn’t ask about him, but he doesn’t ask about Tharn’s feelings. Tharn has always respected his wishes and boundaries and now it’s Type’s turn to do the same in return.

The issue isn’t really Type’s lack of in Tharn’s faithfulness, but rather his insecurities of not being good enough, of not comparing to the other men Tharn had been with. The actual root behind Type’s jealousy is his intense fear that Tharn and his love can be taken away for him. Having no prior experience with serious relationship, Type is overhelmed by his emotions for Tharn and everything it entails - how he loves and desires him so wholly, wanting him only for himself. He never expected that he would end up loving Tharn so much. Type has never been afraid to lose anyone or jealousy of anyone - until Tharn entered his life and became indispensable and vital to him, just like air for breathing or water. He is in so deep that he can’t imagine losing him and being without him. Thus, when confronted with the possibility of losing him and he feels threatened by San, he panics and lashes out because that’s been Type’s M.O. since he’s 12 years old alone in the dark and no one came to save him.

The first signs of insecurity and jealousy appear when Type sees Tharn in a photo with a stranger standing next to him, holding his arm around Tharn’s neck by his side, on his birthday and at his home, but beside these two emotions he feels something else - regret. It should have been him on that photograph, smiling with Tharn and holding his hand. If only he weren’t stubborn, insecure and afraid to come when Tharn invited him. It’s truly a vicious circle. Later, when he finds San’s gift, the sting of jealousy grows stronger. The present is thoughtful and shows that the person truly knows Tharn. In that moment, Type feels like someone bested him and he hates that, and not even Tharn’s reassurance that he loves Type’s present can take away the hurt. When Type spots San walking by Tharn’s side, once again “stealing his place”, jealousy rears its ugly head even more and makes him blind to everything else, including how unfounded his insecurites and fears are. He only sees the person who could take Tharn away from him. So afraid is he of losing Tharn that he completely misses how Tharn forgets about San and starts smiling, beaming like a fool the moment he sees Type.

If looks could kill, San would be already dead. And I’m sure Techno would help Type bury the body the boy because he is so damn loyal to Type, it’s unreal. It’s another of those barely noticeable moments, but when San confronts Type and tells him that he’s Tharn’s first man, Type’s reactions is similar to how he reacts when there is a gay person near him - all tense and ready to fight - but this time he isn’t disgusted to be touched by a gay. It’s as if the fact that San’s a gay doesn’t matter at all; what matters that he has some sort of claim of Tharn and knows about him things Type doesn’t. Moreover, during the whole time he’s known San, Type doesn’t mention that San is gay even once, as if it were completely normal. It’s a sign that his homophobia is weakening even without him noticing. It’s important to realize that San’s immense knowledge is something he acquired over the span of 5 years, being the best friend of his brother and coming to their house regurlarly. In comparison, Type’s known Tharn for a relatively short time. Give him 4 more years, hell, after this, give him 1 months and he’ll be the biggest expert on Tharn throughout the known universe and until the end of time.

Type’s threats and forceful demands are nothing but desperate pleas which translate as: “I want to know everything about you. I want to know you like no one else does. I don’t want to feel like this ever again. I don’t want anyone else near you. I hate myself for not being good enough, for never treating you right.” While Tharn’s standing there, taking all that hurt of Type never caring about his feelings. The whole time, he’s trying so hard to control himself from saying something that could hurt Type, and with his heartfelt admission why he ate the sashimi, you realize that’s what he’s been doing since the moment he met Type (it all started when he kept from Type that he’s gay, resigning himself to a one-sided love so he wouldn’t impose his selfish desires on him), bottling everything up, taking himself out of the equation, never demanding anything and asking so very little from Type over the course of their relationship. That’s how much he’s afraid to lose him.

This is the first time, Tharn projects and reveals his own securities. Just like Type, he has his own trauma, his own skeleton in the closet - an immense fear of abandonment, born from the fact that all his previous relationships failed, including his first love. The word “break-up” alone is the most traumatic and painful word of them all and the unsuspecting Type uses exactly that very word and unwittingly drives a dagger through Tharn’s heart. That isn’t a word, you throw around carelessly because it means the end. No matter how angry you are, that is the line you should never cross unless you’re prepared for the consequences because there is no coming back from it.

Type regrets it the moment he says it. You can spot the flicker of panic when he realizes what he’s just did - in his blind fear and anger not to lose Tharn, he might have done just the very thing he’s been trying to prevent. Furthermore, he’s hurt Tharn again. However, for the first time since they were at an open war, Tharn gives as good as he gets and it takes Type suggesting that they break up to make him snap. While his lover uses angry tirades and thoughtless words, Tharn isn’t vicious or threatening, he hurts Type with brutal truth and honesty. And you can spot a second flicker in Type’s eyes, this time of sheer and utter terror that he just might have truly lost Tharn with his temper; and the terror he feels while watching Tharn as he’s walking away from him.

The following anger and frustration isn’t directed at Tharn or San, but at himself, for messing up again so badly, for hurting the person he loves the most in the world again. San’s appearance makes Type realizes how much he’s been lacking as Tharn’s boyfriend, fearing that he isn’t good enough and that insecurity gets the better of him. It’s something Type has to face and overcome.

But it takes two people to misunderstand each other and, to be fair, it isn’t everything Type’s fault. Tharn’s inherent fear of losing him prevents him from showing Type his worst and thus, he’s keeping a part of himself from Type. And Type can instictively feel it that he’s being deliberately kept in the dark by Tharn and that’s where part of his frustration is coming from because he’s shared with Tharn his deepest, darkest secrets and isn’t afraid of showing his true self no matter how ugly it is because he KNOWS Tharn can accept him unconditionally and wholly. So when Tharn withhelds that part of himself from him, refusing to trust him with it, it’s no wonder he feels insecure. However, at the end of the day, while their insecurities might come from a different place, Tharn and Type are afraid of the same thing - of losing each other.

Finally, the sheer epic symbolism of the little moment when Type, who claims to be uncaring and indifferent about Tharn’s feelings, even notices Tharn’s little button on the floor in the darkness! This self-centered man cares, HE CARES LIKE NO ONE ELSE DOES!

#tharntype #tharntype the series #mew suppasit #mewgulf #analysis #ttepisode8

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shibachibi · 5 years ago

Text

Random fanfic moment

So guys. It’s been so long since the last time I’ve posted, I’m not even sure someone still reads the silly things I write but, anyway.

I am a little sensitive today. That time of the month is coming soon. lol And I was watching some historical chinese dramas mvs and, all of a sudden, I started daydreaming after watching one specific mv.

The storyline was kind of like this: the female lead is head over heels for the male lead and is always chasing him around, being troublesome, even ends up making him marry her and all that, but he actually likes someone else (at the start, of course). That’s the general idea I got from the drama after watching the music video.

So, with that, I started imagining and making up scenes having this story as a background setting. What if their marriage is a contractual one (classic drama troupe, of course!), set with a limited time? Like, “you have one year to make me fall in love with you. If you fail, you’ll agree to get a divorce and leave me alone.”

And so, I came up with this mini fanfic, I hope you enjoy it!

“Hey, Chang Bo*! Have you seen my wife?” The master of the house asked the passing servent.

He hadn’t seen San Qi since early morning, which was extremely unusual. Normally, his foolish wife would always be stepping on his shadow, unless...

“Don’t tell me she made trouble again?”

He questioned the servent with semi-closed eyes before the poor man could answer to his first inquiry.

“My lord”, said the man, “I do not know where the madam has gone. She left early with that girl, her closest maid, but didn’t say where she was going. She did leave a message for you, though.”

Saying this, the unconcerned servant passed a small piece of folded paper to his master, took a bow, then left.

‘How strange’, thought Zhao Cuo, as he unfolded the paper.

“Let’s meet at 19 p.m in restaurant XXX, on street market. I’ve prepared a surprise for you.”

He couldn’t help but smile as he read the note out loud. ‘This foolish girl... What is she planning this time?’ he thought to himself.

Well, his wife was always full of surprises. He had lost count of how many times she had come up with the weirdest ideas. Zhao Cuo used to be really taken aback at first, but had ended up getting used to it. At some point, he found himself even enjoying her gimmicks and looking forward to the next time.

‘She was always so straight forward and silly...’

As the meeting time approached, he couldn’t help but feel a little restless. That had been the first time he and his wife had spent so many hours apart since they had married. Normally, San Qi was like glue...

‘She must have prepared something quite grand this time.’, he thought, as he walked towards the set place.

Upon arrival, he was promptly lead to the reserved room inside the restaurant.

There was a table at the center of the room, specially decorated, with red flowers and strange floating things that resembled the floating lights that were used during festivals, though those didn’t seem to float due to fire. He continued scanning the place, but his wife was nowhere to be seen. Instead, someone else was seated at the table.

“What are you doing here?”

He was staring at Ruo Yao. His voice sounded restrained, he felt confused and slightly irritated at the sight of her. His once good mood dropped instanly.

‘How come it’s her? Where’s San Qi?’

She looked at him and got up immediately. She felt a little nervous, but certainly wasn’t about to show him that.

“Can’t you see that I am waiting for you?” she asked back, with a meek voice.

“I can see that,” he answered, his frustration and increasing irritation clearly showing through his voice and expression. “What I mean is, why are you here waiting for me? Where’s my wife?”

“I am here to see you. I missed you...”, she said as she came close to him, “Didn’t you ask to see me and prepared all this so we could be together?” she finished her act by looking into his eyes and landing one hand over his arm.

His body instictively rejected her touch, even producing unconfortable goosebumps. Grimacing, he stepped away from her.

“What are you saying? I didn’t do this." He felt a little disgusted at the thought.

“I already have my wife. You shouldn’t be here...” When the thought came to him, it burned like fire. ‘Yeah, she definitely shouldn’t be here. I am married and she is not. This could become a terrible rumor...!’

“Leave. Immediately.” He told her firmly.

At his clear rejection, she felt so offended she wanted to scream at him. ‘How dare he reject me? How could he choose that little girl over me?’ Her delicated features became twisted for a split of a second, but she managed to keep her cool. She had to preserve her dignity at least.

“You’ll regret this”, she mumbled to herself and left the room.

Still baffled, he staring at the empty table, trying to come up to terms with what had just happened. ‘What the hell.. Where’s San Qi?’

At that moment, a restaurant worker entered, snapping him out of his thoughts.

Upon noticing the lady wasn’t there anymore, the man asked:

“Sir..? Has the other guest already left?” the worker looked confused.

“Yes. I was supposed to meet someone else here, not her. Hasn’t anyone else arrived? A petit pretty youngwoman perhaps?”

“No, sir.” Zhao Cuo’s heart dropped at his answer.

“ But...”, the worker continued, making his heart expectant, ”that description matches with the person that made this reservation. She also left this in my care so I could give to you.”

He handed in a little box. Inside, there was a letter. Zhao Cuo trembled.

“Hello! This is San Qi.

Congratulations! Do you know what day it is today? Today is the 365th day of our marriage. Uhul! I prepared all this by myself. What do you think? Do you like it? You see, I don’t want to brag, but I must say that getting those floating things wasn’t easy, you know! It seems they’re called ballons and are filled with a different type of air. I heard they’re a new invention, it was hard getting my hands on these. Hehe.

Well, it seems that this is it, hm. If you’re reading this, it means that I failed and, like I promised, this is the end.

You know how they say that when you’re having fun time flies and when you’re not it feels like it doesn’t pass at all? Well, our time together felt like the passing of a warm confortable breeze on a summer night. Just one blink would be enough to miss it.

Though I know that for you, it wasn’t the same.

The truth is, deep inside, I’ve known it all along. I just couldn’t bring myself to give up just yet. I took advantage of your kindness and ended up making you suffer right? Please forgive me.

You must’ve felt like you were stuck in hell, right? Like your precious time with your beloved Ruo Yao was being robbed of you. All because of me. I have no excuses.

So! This is me trying to make up for it. Of course, just one romantic dinner can’t possibly measure up to all those times, but I hope you feel my sincere repentence.

Also, all those troublesome and annoying things I did in the past, was me trying my best. I am sorry for all of those. I never meant to make you look bad or make you trouble. I just hope you know that my feelings for you were true. And that I am really greateful to you.

You made me learn that love is selfless. And that it can’t be forced.

Though for you it were bad times, I hope that if someday you happen to spare a thought for me, you will look back and maybe find at least one happy memory of us. That would mean the world for me.

Thank you for everything.

Like I promised, you will never see me again after this. But I’ll always be praying for your happiness.

With love,

Tian San Qi. “

#i've fallen for you #cdrama #fanfic #esther yu

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journalxxx · 6 years ago

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No Rest for the Wicked (2)

"Wilson, do you have a moment?" Wilson's heart sank in his chest, even before seeing Wickerbottom's drawn face peek into his tent. He had learnt to recognise the tone that required his presence because someone had been more or less mauled by something. Wilson had gone to great lengths to teach all the other survivors what little useful knowledge and technique his education and admittedly very limited practice in the medical field had granted him (because it was only a matter of time before he'd be the one in need of assistance, he knew that), but he was still the first person everyone would address when such problems arised. He may not have the tools or ability to perform miraculous life-saving procedures, but in a world without painkillers a little extra speed and skill could spare everyone unnecessary stress even for the most trivial injuries. He put down the broken compass he was trying to repair and immediately reached for the small emergency bag he had always ready. "What happened?" "I'm not quite sure. Webber just came running to warn us that... well, he was rather distressed and I couldn't grasp the whole story, but there must have been an accident near the spiders' nests. Maxwell appears to be injured and Wolfgang is bringing him back to the camp as we speak."

"Maxwell? What on Earth was he doing there?" Wilson asked, more than just a little surprised. Maxwell hardly ever left the camp, and he especially avoided going anywhere near any sort of monster den or pond or beehive, with caution that bordered on cowardice. "I was planning to ask Webber later, once he has calmed down. I've settled him in his tent and there's already some water boiling in the furnace. Shall we go and meet the others halfway?" "Yes, of course- oh, thank you." Wilson stepped out of the tent and Wickerbottom offered him an umbrella. She was already standing under her own, and Wilson just noticed it had started to rain. He must have tuned out the noise while he was working. He had gotten used at tuning out things while he was working, especially Maxwell's frequent complains about the quality or purpose of said work. Speaking of the man, he'd better have some really brilliant explanation for going out on his own without warning anyone. Or- well, he must have warned at least Webber or Wolfgang or someone else, but- not Wilson, which used to be the only 'anyone' around before- oh, never mind. He'd better have a good explanation, and he'd better be fit enough to give it personally. Wolfgang was already visible from the perimeter of the base, strutting towards it with a fierce step, Wendy and Abigail in tow and Maxwell inelegantly balanced on his shoulders like a sack of potatoes. That didn't bode well. Wilson and Wickerbottom hurried towards the group, calling them as they got within ear's reach. It was with unexpected relief that Wilson saw Maxwell's head turn toward the source of the voices, and an arm awkwardly waving towards them. "For the love of God, tell this oaf to put me down!" He barked, his voice somewhat rough. "I can walk." "He's been saying that all the time, but I doubt it's true. He's losing quite a bit of blood." Wendy replied candidly. Wilson couldn't help but shiver slightly. That little girl could be more terrifying with a single innocent remark than Maxwell had ever proved to be with all his demonic magic and trickery. They were related all right, and she seemed to have inhereted all her uncle's spookiness and some more. "Wolfgang is faster than limping frail man! Do not worry, camp is close!" Wolfgang waved at Wilson and stopped in front of him, pointing at his unhappy burden. "I bring him to his tent, yes?" "Yes, but wait a moment." Wilson ignored Maxwell's inane grumbling and walked around the helpful mountain of a man. He quickly checked Maxwell's pulse and breathing, finding them steady enough. There was a visible bloodstain on his side, that had also spread to the shirt covering Wolfgang's back. He couldn't see the wound, as it was covered by a rough square of silk, completely soaked in redness and kept in place by a thin rope tied around the man's waist. Maybe not the most comfortable solution, but Maxwell seemed well enough to withstand two more minutes of bumpy jogging without bleeding out. "All right, let's go." "Wait! Damn you all- oh, thank you." It was Wickerbottom that disrupted Maxwell's tirade, once again offering her services against the bad weather and holding her own umbrella above him. The bizarre group resumed its stride towards the base. "Is anyone else hurt? Wolfgang?" Wilson inquired. "No, no! All I need is something to fill my mighty belly." "I'm sure there are some leftover meatballs in the ice box." While Wolfgang unloaded his troublesome baggage, Wilson retrieved the steaming bucket from the furnace, paying close attention that no raindrops fell in it. Wickerbottom followed him into the tent, observing carefully as Wilson opened his bag and prepared the few tools he had at his disposal before starting to peel the blood-soaked silk and clothes from the wound. Maxwell was already groaning in discomfort; pain tolerance had never been his strongest suit. At first glance, the two gashes running along Maxwell's side towards his navel didn't look terrible. Before doing anything else, Wilson carefully washed his hands with the smelly soap he had fashioned out of monster fat and ash. The water was still a bit too hot, almost to the point of burning him as Wickerbottom poured some from the bucket on his hands, but he didn't complain. Surely Maxwell was going to do it enough for the both of them. "Ow! Watch it, will you?" "I can't fix it by just looking at it. And I'm sure it doesn't hurt that much either, considering how lively you are." "You'd be sore too if that brute had forced you to lie on it while he jolted you around on his back for fifteen minutes. I swear he just wanted to use me as a raincoat-" "You can thank him for saving your life later." Wilson cut him off curtly. "Now kindly be quiet." The cuts were indeed less worrying than all the blood suggested. They only got as deep as the muscle layer, leaving the peritoneum intact all the way through. A considerable luck, considering that Maxwell's skinny build didn't offer much in terms of protection of inner organs. Wickerbottom adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat, interrupting their squabble. "Is there anything I can do to help, dear?" "Uhm... I think I can handle this on my own, it isn't as bad as it looks." Wilson scratched his chin on his shoulder. His chin always itched when his hands were busy, God knew why. "Could you throw a blanket over him and fetch a warm thermal stone, if you don't mind?" He added, chiding himself for not realizing sooner how thoroughly soaked Maxwell was. "Of course. I'll be back in a minute." Wickerbottom carefully tucked the beefalo fleece around him, leaving only the injured area uncovered. Maxwell strangely didn't object. When she left, Wilson finally got to work, dipping a piece of cloth in the water and starting to clean the slashes. "Ow! It's hot!" "Oh, drop it. It's just warm now, and you've been through much worse than this." "Has anyone ever told you that your bedside manners are downright abysmal?" "Yes, you. Anyway, care to explain what you were doing by the spiders' nests?" "Is this really the right time for that?" Maxwell hissed as Wilson applied the healing salve along the edges of the wounds, trying to delicately smear some along the inner sides too. "I don't know, you seem pretty eager to run your mouth for someone who-" "Maxwell! We're so sorry!" Wilson almost dropped the whole bowl on the wound as a loud, high-pitched voice suddenly burst out behind him. He turned to see Wickerbottom, Webber and Wendy standing on the threshold of the tent. He suddenly felt unpleasantly under the spotlight. He never liked having an audience while he was working. "My apologies, Wilson, they rushed in before I could stop them." Wickerbottom said while she slid the hot, glowing orb under Maxwell's blanket. Wilson instictively worried about the children having a full view of the bloody wound, but then he remembered that those specific kids had more experience with gruesome injuries, assorted mutilations and horrifying deaths than many adults living out of the Constant. "Uh, it's not a problem. Maxwell might benefit from some quiet though-" "We-we just thought we could tell her to leave us alone, but she didn't listen..." Webber mumbled shakily, with such genuine compunction that Wilson didn't have it in him to ask him to leave. Instead, he busied himself with preparing the sewing kit. "Let this be a lesson to you, boy. Grown-ups don't listen to kids. Both humans and spiders, apparently." Maxwell grumbled. "Wait. She?" Wilson blinked, finally processing Webber's words. "You weren't attacked by a spider queen, were you?" "She burst out of the nest all of a sudden!" Webber whimpered. "Her spiders were nice, but she didn't like Wendy and-" "Oh my God." Wilson barely prevented himself from pinching the bridge of his nose, almost splattering blood all over his face. "Maxwell, what the hell were you doing near a fully developed nest? With the kids, of all people?" "From what I understood, Maxwell spontaneously offered to accompany Webber to visit the spiders, when he expressed such wish earlier this afternoon." Wickerbottom interjected. "Wendy decided to tag along, and Wolfgang... well, I think he sensed he might be of help in case something went wrong." In other words, Wilson thought, either Wolfgang didn't believe Maxwell would inconvenience himself so much just to make the kids happy, or he didn't deem him capable of keeping them safe from potential dangers. Both extremely accurate reasonings, as the events of the day had proved. Wilson squinted at the oddly silent infirm. "How generous of you. I'm sure you had no ulterior motives for chaperoning them there." Maxwell's glower could have melted a glacier. Luckily, Wickerbottom continued before the budding argument could escalate. "While Webber was introducing his friends to Wendy, a spider queen spawned from the nearest nest, and she didn't take kindly to the girl's presence. Wolfgang was keeping his distance from the nest - you know how antsy he gets around monsters - and Maxwell had to step in to avoid a much more unfortunate accident. He was injured in the process." ...That was unexpected. Wilson glanced at Maxwell again, but this time the old man avoided his gaze, opting to stare intently at an irrelevant spot on the side of the tent. "And I guess Wolfgang is the one to thank for helping any of you to make it back afterwards." Wilson sighed, gently pulling the two hems of the first cut closer. "I'm still curious to know why you decided to go there in the first place." "...I wanted to have a look at the graves." "The graves? What for?" "Could we please save this conversation for when I'm not actively bleedi-" Right on cue, Wilson decided it was high time to start with the sutures, and he stabbed Maxwell with the needle without warning, maybe a tad less delicate than he could have been. Maxwell flinched sharply. "AW! YOU GODDAMN SON-" "Language, Maxwell." Wickerbottom scolded him with a stern scowl that would make a grown man squirm like an embarassed schoolboy. And indeed, Maxwell did bite back the rest of his invective, albeit ruefully. "We should stop bothering these fine gentlemen, children, if you feel reassured enough." "We apologize for intruding. We were curious to know if death was going to claim you today, that's all." Wendy's tone was just as blank as her expression as she stared straight at Maxwell. Abigail's blurred shape flickered momentarily through the tent, effectively reinforcing the meaning of her words. "It appears that shall not be the case." "...Better luck next time, I guess." Despite the pain, Maxwell's lips curved into a genuinely amused smile, and Wilson made a mental note to always keep those two as physically distant as possible. Somehow they managed to feed into each other's creepiness way too effortlessly for comfort. Wickerbottom sighed and gave Wilson a sympathetic glance. "I'll be bustling around out here. If you need anything, just call, Wilson." "Thank you, I will." The weird group finally left, and Maxwell and Wilson both sighed in relief, in almost comical synchronicity. Neither of them particularly appreciated the coincidence. Wilson gave Maxwell just a couple of stitches' worth of time to recuperate before resuming his questioning, without lifting his eyes from his work. "So. Why were you interested in the graves?" "You aren't going to leave this alone, are you?" "Nope. I mean, I can't force you to answer, but I do work more quickly with some background noise, so unless you want this undoubtedly painful procedure to take the rest of the afternoon-" "Wow. That is some dastardly blackmail even by my standards." "What can I say? I guess your bad habits must be starting to rub off on me." Wilson frowned, hit by a sudden, unwelcome thought, but he pushed it aside for the time being. "Well?" "...I was looking for gems. I'm almost out of fuel and I need a new nightmare amulet to gather some more." "Again?" Wilson scowled at him, momentarily lifting his gaze from the wound. "You made a new one just- wait, really? You went there to dig up graves, which can cause all sort of troubles and even summon wrathful ghosts, in a place riddled with spider nests, and you were planning to bring a single child as your escort? What if Wolfgang hadn't come?" "A single child with the power to pacify all the hostile creatures in the area." Maxwell corrected him, gritting his teeth both in annoyance and pain. "And I did have enough fuel for a couple of duelists, had something unexpected happened. What I did not expect was for Wendy to ask to come along, and to basically walk straight into the queen's fangs." "What?!" "I honestly have no idea what she was trying to do. Maybe she just wanted to stir trouble so that her flower could bloom, as it happened. I think I did see her smile when Abigail appeared. Barely." "You have no idea? Really?" Wilson mocked. "Have you spent five minutes with her? That girl is borderline suicidal. I wouldn't be surprised if she was trying to- oh, heavens..." "And you're an idiot if you can't see that hers is clearly an act." Maxwell took advantage of Wilson's pause to take a deep breath before continuing with a lower, somewhat wearier tone. "I'm surprised you haven't noticed yet, but there's literally nothing easier to do than dying, in the Constant. Had she the tiniest real death wish in her, she'd be a pile of bones by now. But here she is, after successfully surviving on her own for... I forget, three months, maybe? Trust me, she may not be especially bothered by the thought of her own mortality, but she isn't in any hurry to rush to an early demise either." Wilson pondered on Maxwell's admittedly sensible points as he wiped some trickling blood from the half-sewn gash. Maybe the man had indeed spent more than five minutes with her. Their respective, peculiar sensitivities seemed to be somewhat attuned, in a sort of morbid and perverse way. Saying that there was any sort of reciprocal appreciation would be a gross overstatement, but there surely seemed to be much less animosity between uncle and niece than between Maxwell and any other member of the group, save Wickerbottom, maybe. "...Why her?" Wilson whispered, his voice just as silky as the thread he weaved in the other man's flesh. "Of all the people you could have possibly decided to kidnap, why your own niece? Why?" "Please, don't start again with this." "And why involving her sister in this too? Her dead sister, for heaven's sake. If she asked you to reunite them, couldn't you at least give Abigail a body instead of making her a ghost that can't be revived? It's just- it just sounds like a cruel joke like this!" "I did not make that ghost, for the love of God!" Maxwell burst out, irritation flaring in his eyes. Wilson had the striking feeling that he wasn't the first one to inquire about that specific topic, and not even the second. "You lot really have some exaggerated assumptions about my former powers. I never had the ability to bring back anyone from the dead. Once a soul is lost, it's lost. There's no coming back, not even with the strongest shadow magic. Amulets, touch stones and even your creepy meat statues work by preventing the destruction of the soul, not by undoing it. That's just not possible." "Then what's the deal with Abigail?" "I don't know." Maxwell shrugged, and winced in pain immediately afterwards. "She was already haunting Wendy by the time I contacted her. And Wendy was aware of it, to a limited extent. She asked me for a way to communicate with her twin, and I gave her just that. I brought her in a place where their connection was stronger and perfectly perceptible to the both of them. And, if you want my honest opinion, I'm fairly sure Wendy isn't particularly displeased with how her deal turned out." "I can't believe you. You keep talking as if you've genuinely done her a favor. You lie to her, you trap her, you endanger her... and then you save her life, and then you still-" Wilson stopped and shook his head sourly, side-eyeing Maxwell. There couldn't possibly be a brain under that oddly elongated skull of his, no. Had Wilson sawed it open, he would have found a veritable labyrinth inside, he was sure of it, one the likes of which not even Daedalus himself could have created. "...I don't understand you. I really don't." "I know." Maxwell sighed again and closed his eyes. He suddenly looked and sounded really tired. "If that makes you feel any better, I don't understand you either." The soothing drumming of the raindrops on the tent was the only sound breaking the silence for a good while. Maxwell seemed to have lost the will to complain vocally after his lengthy speeches, his only reactions to pain being some rare grunting and the occasional twitch on his face. Wilson proceeded smoothly once he was fully focussed on the task, with an easy steadness born from familiarity. Patching up wounds and tending to bruises was indeed a familiar situation, and not an altogether unpleasant one. If there were treatments to be administered, it meant that there was room for improvement, for the solution to the problem. Not always, but often enough. It meant that the worst possible outcome was only one of the many, and not an obligated path. The sullen silence was reassuringly familiar too, in its own way, a small, joint effort to bury the hatchet at least temporarily. Soon he was delicately prodding at the fully sutured wounds, making sure the seams held tightly and the surrounding skin wasn't tense, then he washed his hands. "All right, I think I'm done with the stitches." "Thank God." Maxwell muttered feebly. A sudden concern stroke Wilson. Blast it all, he had been idly wallowing in his own thoughts while his bleeding patient had gone progressively more silent and less responsive. He swiftly felt Maxwell's wrist as he shook the man's shoulder, gently but firmly. "Hey, are you doing all right?" "Yes." His pulse wasn't abnormal, his skin was a tad warmer than earlier too and he seemed oriented enough. "Are you sure? Are you feeling dizzy or-" "I'm tired, Higgsbury." Maxwell complained, tilting his head in annoyance. "Just get on with it." No signs of shock then. Better that way. "You aren't injured anywhere else, right?" He uncovered a larger portion of Maxwell's torso, in order to clean properly the outer margins of the blood stains before bandaging the wound. As he did so, his gaze fell on an oddly bulging inner pocket of the man's jacket, and on the brief glint of the red gem lying therein. "...Oh. You did find one." His hand veered automatically towards the pocket, curiosity getting the better of him as it always did, but suddenly Maxwell caught his wrist in an expectedly vicious grasp. His eyes weren't any kinder, either. "Don't you dare." "What?" Wilson blinked in confusion, before frowning in genuine offense. "What, do you think I want to steal it? When have I ever stolen anything from you?" "You haven't, but I have." Maxwell testily retorted. "And considering your particularly petty and resentful mood lately, I'd rather not take any chances. You do nothing but complaining about the lack of resources for life-giving amulets-" "What? I- I wouldn't-" It stung. Badly. For reasons and circumstances Maxwell probably wasn't even considering, yet he had managed to land a blow exactly where it hurt the most. Wilson felt blood creep to his own cheeks, and he lost track of the volume of his voice for a moment. "I would never do that! Especially after you almost died to obtain the darn thing! I'm not like you!" If Wilson's outburst had shocked Maxwell, he certainly didn't show it. It did shock Wilson though. He pulled his arm from Maxwell's grip with a snappy gesture and promptly turned his attention back to the wound. He blinked at it for a couple of seconds, rage still thumping in his chest, before remembering what he was supposed to do next. He fetched the healing salve and applied some more on the stitches, for good measure, then he finally started wrapping the injury in clean bandages. So Maxwell didn't trust him around his possessions now, apparently. The sheer nerve of the man. If there was anyone who had all the reasons to have trust issues, that was Wilson. In fact, anyone in the camp had excellent reasons not to trust Maxwell as far as they could spit, yet they all gave him another chance, and this was how he repaid them. Dragging children to their possible deaths and badmouthing his literal saviors. It made Wilson's blood boil, the fact that, despite all this, Wilson still couldn't bring himself to turn his back on him. The fact that apparently Wilson couldn't help but trusting Maxwell more than Maxwell would ever trust him, apparently. The fact that this whole issue about trust was just an euphemism for a much more inexplicable feeling. Wilson tore the fleece off Maxwell, ignoring his displeased whine. "Get out of those drenched clothes before you catch your death of a cold. I'll bring you a dry mat and blanket." He left as Maxwell struggled to get his jacket off, not out of modesty but simply to let him stew in his own juices for a minute. He fetched his own mat and blanket as replacements, and hung the soaked ones near the furnace: they'd be dry by night so that Wilson could use them. When he went back to Maxwell, he had barely managed to divest his own torso. Without a word, Wilson helped him with the rest and with wearing a clean pair of trousers and a shirt. Modesty had indeed been thrown out of the window a long time ago, after too many accidents and injuries to count. Nevertheless, it was always a bit of a shock for Wilson to see Maxwell's bare body. The man was exceedingly thin, long bones jutting out at every angle and far too less flesh than his eating habits seemed to justify. It may just be his natural build, or it may be another physiological consequence of the prolonged use of shadow magic. It was hard to tell. Wilson could still remember the first time he had had a taste of the former King's frailty, when he had accidentally stepped on a frog during a vicious bout of spring rain. He had been swarmed with a veritable army of angry amphibians before Wilson could attract them to a patch of aptly placed traps. The attack, that would have been a painful but ultimately forgettable accident for Wilson, had left Maxwell, caught without armor or weapons, absolutely devastated. His recovery had been unexpectedly lengthy, and Wilson had had to consistently help him perform even the most basic and private tasks. One would think, Wilson couldn't help but gripe, that after such ordeals a modicum of respect and trust ought to arise between two gentlemen, but apparently that was not the case. Yet, Wilson reflected as he run a rough cloth on Maxwell's scalp to dry his hair, all this seemed to matter little on his own side of the equation. Maxwell's consistently appalling behavior, and whether or not he was actually deserving of trust, did not factor in Wilson's decision to trust him. In fact, it was not a decision at all, it was merely a fact, a happenstance that had already taken place without him noticing. He had grown to implicity confide in the ultimately positive outcome of the man's shady actions and plans, that had effectively saved the scientist's skin more often than he'd care to admit. He had started to sleep more soundly, knowing that there was someone always up and about in the camp ready to warn him in case of danger, and that said someone wasn't going to spend his nightly vigil plotting against him. He had especially come to value Maxwell's unshakable mental balance, which was exactly what Wilson had needed on one particularly horrifying occasion, during a harrowing insanity-induced breakdown that he still couldn't remember without heavy discomfort. Maxwell had offered, in that and in many similar circumstances, the pragmatic and dispassionate steadness of mind that Wilson needed to reign in his own fears without being swallowed by self-pity. He honestly could not remember how he had survived certain episodes before having Maxwell at his side. Truth to be told, he did not remember having such bad episodes at all before reaching the throne, and that could also be due to- Wilson balled up the cloth and juggled it in his hands as he finally let Maxwell free from his ministrations. He could not keep going like this, questioning every little thought and feeling that crossed his mind. There was only one person with the knowledge to dispel or confirm his doubts, and it also happened to be one person he trusted, as illogical as the notion may be. He had already trusted Maxwell once, and the consequences of his blunder had been drastic. He could not bear to think of how devastating it could turn out to be betrayed again. But then, he was already in a position where he felt he could trust Maxwell's judgement more than his own. If that wasn't tragic enough of a situation, which one was? "...Say. There's something I've been meaning to ask you." Wilson finally said, as Maxwell heavily flopped down on the mat and closed his eyes with a sigh. He just let out a vaguely inquisitive hum, and silence stretched again between them as Wilson struggled to decide exactly how to word his question. "What is it?" Maxwell eventually mumbled, before Wilson could be tempted to drop the topic. "What does the throne exactly... do to people?" "What do you mean?" "Well, it sort of... changes you, doesn't it? You aren't the same person you were before sitting on it, even after you're released. Isn't that what you said?" "...In a way." Maxwell conceded, opening his eyes again and glancing at Wilson with clear suspicion. "Why do you ask?" "No reason. I was just curious." Wilson replied quickly. Heavens, way too quickly, he immediately realized, and Maxwell's eyes narrowed even more. "...Is this about me or you?" "N-neither! I was just wondering-" "Let's say about you. Let me guess. Something strange happened to you and you think the throne might be the cause, right?" He paused, scrutinizing the stuttering scientist for the briefest moment, then his brows perked up in visible, disquieting fascination. "Ah. Interesting. What was it?" God, was Wilson really so easy to read? He was tempted to look away, he wasn't sure that would work in his favor. Instead, he shook his head and collected himself enough to muster a somewhat steadier tone. "Nothing much. I'm probably just overthinking things. But if you were so kind to tell me how exactly the throne affects humans instead of needling me for fun, it would be easier to distinguish between clear signs and overactive imagination." Maxwell seemed to weigh Wilson's statement for a moment. In the end, he decided to humour him. He relaxed back on the mat and stared at the ceiling on the tent pensively. "Again, you assume too much about my knowledge. As far as I know, I'm the first human who ever sat on the throne, so my personal experience would be the only information I could give you. It wouldn't be a good term of comparison for your case though, since our experiences have been so different. I've been bound to the throne for far longer than you have, and I've widely experimented with its powers and let them affect me in turn. Moreover, by the time I got here, I was already somewhat... changed, as you put it. On the other hand, if I remember correctly, you said absolutely nothing happened to you during your brief time as King." "That's true." Wilson nodded. He had seen no one, heard no one, done nothing until the moment he was freed by his unexpected savior. The whole experience had been unsettling for a grand total of maybe two hours, and then it had quickly descended into utter boredom. "But even if I didn't notice anything, it doesn't necessarily mean that nothing was happening." "Hm." Maxwell pursed his lips. "What got you so worried about this anyway? What happened?" "I..." Wilson sighed in defeat. Nothing hindered a diagnosis more than a patient who was secretive about his symptoms, he reasoned. "I've been having... strange dreams. Nightmares, I suppose." "...That's it?" Maxwell's brow arched in ill-concealed disappointment. "Pal, this whole place is built on literal and metaphorical nightmares. When you close your eyes here, you shouldn't expect to see anything less than the worst horrors your limited mind is capable of conceiving, and much more than that. I'm sure you had nightmares before the throne too." "Of course, but lately they've been... different." "How so?" ...All right, there was no way he could put that into words. He could barely make sense of the whirlwind of irrational and incoherent emotions that dominated his dreams in his own head, let alone trying to explain it to another. What he knew for sure was that they almost constantly included Maxwell, and that wasn't exactly surprising. Another thing he knew for certain was the astounding degree of violence involved. Not only with Wilson as a victim, as it was per habit before reaching the throne, but now also as the perpetrator. The scenarios varied widely, from the classic Constant-inspired grotesque torture under the Shadows' supervision, to more mundane and homely beatings in filthy city alleys, to the most creatively abhorrent misuse of every ounce of medical knowledge stored in his brain. All these characteristics may have passed as normal given Wilson's current situation, if it wasn't for an increasing percentage of dreams featuring a different kind of dynamic, one far more mystifying. One where Wilson's hands did not land on Maxwell's body for rage or vengeance, but for pleasure. One that caused him to jump awake in a sweat not with his heart frozen with horror and fear, but with his flesh burning with vim and desire. Sometimes the two circumstances took shape in his brain within the same night, or even in the same dream. Those times were the hardest to dismiss as harmless oneiric nonsense. "...I wouldn't really know how to explain it. You're probably right anyway, dreams are what they are here." Wilson cut his own thoughts short before they could spiral into further confusion. Maxwell clearly wasn't satisfied with the answer, but Wilson swiftly moved on before he could question him further on the topic. "There's more though. In regards to the darkness. I... I have a strange feeling about it." Wilson was expecting Maxwell to interrupt him. Instead, he just waited for the scientist to elaborate. "When I stray too far from the fire, it feels almost... familiar? In a sort of personal way, I think. Like someone I've met. I know there's a monster in there, it has attacked me more than once, but it never felt... like this. It's not just familiar, it's... inviting, even? Distracting, in a captivating sense... Ugh, I really don't know how to explain any of this. And then there's the smell! I feel some sort of floral scent coming from the darkness almost constantly, and I'm sure that's never happened before. I'm starting to wonder if I'm hallucinating everything..." "You haven't talked about any of this with the others, have you?" Maxwell suddenly inquired. "Or, now that I think of it, about rising to the throne in the first place. You never told them you've been King, however briefly, am I correct?" "...No, I haven't. It didn't seem... necessary. I may very well be perfectly fine, I didn't want them to worry pointlessly or to think that..." He trailed off, an unpleasant feeling gnawing at his stomach. "...You didn't want them to look at you like they look at me." Maxwell finished for him, his tone oddly neutral. Wilson gulped, unable to hold Maxwell's gaze any longer. It was a strikingly blunt and simple way of putting it, but an undeniably apt one. "Can you really blame me for that?" "No." Maxwell's lips curved into a small smile. "But if you had asked around, you would have spared yourself a headache. This... allure, this magnetic force you sense in the darkness, as well as the rose scent... I feel them too, and not just because I've been on the throne. I'm sure everyone in the camp is susceptible to them. They're not in your head, they're perfectly real. The darkness has indeed changed lately, and I have strong reasons to believe it's due to our new management, so to speak." "Charlie, right...?" Wilson whispered, trying to recall what little tidbits of information Maxwell had let slip about this mysterious other person trapped by the Shadows, roughly around the same time the former King himself had been captured. "Yes. At any rate, this is another non-issue on your part. Any more substantial anomalies?" Wilson didn't reply. Maxwell's expression darkened visibly. "...You're leaving the worst for last, aren't you? Out with it, man! It can't possibly be worse than being a werebeaver, and everyone seems to just roll with that without any problems." ...If Wilson didn't have the guts to talk about the dreams, he definitely couldn't come even close to discuss the crux of the matter. Dreams were allowed a measure of oddity, they were an overworked brain's playground devoid of any logic, rules or consequences, everybody knew that. It was an entirely different issue, however, when certain features of a dream started to trickle into a man's awake and cognizant thoughts. It wasn't a glaring phenomenon, it was so subtle that Wilson couldn't even say when it had started. But he had eventually noticed how his thoughts seemed to take strange directions, when Maxwell was involved. That Wilson's opinion of the man had changed since he had fallen from the Shadows' grace was undeniable, but understandable: despite his many wrongdoings, there was no denying that Maxwell wasn't the real enemy in the Constant, and that the King benefitted from much less control and freedom over his reign than he liked to boast. He wasn't quite as much of a victim of the circumstances as everyone else, but he deserved a fairer judgement than one driven by pure resentment. That Wilson's tolerance had turned into some sort of appreciation was also indisputable, but that could be explained by loneliness and necessity. The harsh environment and the desperate need for all the help one could get could justify the bizarre sort of trust, and even friendship, that could arise between former enemies. Barely, but it could. This brilliant reasoning had started to crack when more survivors had entered the equation, and Wilson was both surprised and unsurprised to notice that he didn't especially care about any of them. They were all sociable enough, helpful enough, capable enough - hell, they were all those things in much greater capacity than Maxwell himself was - but he hadn't felt the need or pleasure to bond with any of them. He was beyond thankful to have more backup and help, and he would unhesitatingly put his life on the line to protect each and every one of them, as any respectable gentleman should in such circumstances, but he didn't quite... care for their company. Not nearly as much as he cared for Maxwell's, despite his foul moods, his cutting remarks, his twisted ways. Or maybe because of all those things. And still, still, all of this could have been labelled as a negligible eccentricity in Wilson's admittedly eccentric character, if strange wishes hadn't started to worm their way into his brain. The wish not only to keep him safe from harm, but to ease his troubles too, by taking care of the heaviest tasks himself, by letting him use the warmest clothing in winter, by consistently taking the brunt of attacks from any monster while Maxwell safely whittled away at it from the sidelines. The wish to outwit his retorts and scathing remarks not to prove the superiority of his own eloquence, but to raise a genuinely amused smile from that perpetually grim face. The wish to inquire about his past and the reasons for his behavior, not out of idle curiosity and not even to garner information that might lead them out of the Constant, but in the hope to find proof that the man's sins might be fewer and less damning than evidence suggested. The wish to offer comfort, in those exceedingly rare occasions when Maxwell's rigid illusion of self-reliance seemed to falter, with something more tangible than words, with a friendly pat on the back, a soothing touch or hug or even- And therein lay the problem, because this was truly unnatural, in more than one way. Wilson was not a demonstrative man by a long shot, he never had been. He positively loathed pointless effusions, and he had not even remotely missed human contact in his self-imposed isolation in the middle of the thick woods of New England. That he should start to feel a craving for it all of a sudden was puzzling. That he should, at the same time, start dreaming of a much deeper level of intimacy with the same person was suggestive. That such unforeseen development should be centered around a man was shocking. That said man, out of all the possible male creatures his preference could land on, was Maxwell bordered on outrageous. Hence his doubts: was this peculiar development really a genuine preference of his, or were there darker forces at work to twist his mind into such directions for no other reason than sadistic amusement? He couldn't help but feel there was something terribly wrong about it. It simply wasn't how his head worked. While he was no stranger to intimate relationships, his experiences had been few and brief, spurred more by juvenile curiosity than any real engagement. It must have been almost a decade since the last time he had entertained the idea of growing even marginally close to someone. A generic 'someone' that had always been a member of the opposite sex, it bore noting. Should he take all these changes at face value? Even when the object of his predicament was, how very coincidentally, the only other human being who ever sat on the throne? Should he not question the possibility of an underlying connection among this trail of oddities? ... But then, how to explain all this? It was embarassing, and absurd, and private, and delirious. It was the last thing he'd want to discuss with anyone, especially with Maxwell. It was- it was- "...It's nothing." "Oh come on, you're a dreadful liar. What is it? Have you been hearing disembodied voices in your head?" "No- well, aside from the usual whispers when I stay awake for too long, but-" "Have you experienced blackouts? Unexplained memory loss, signs of possession? Found yourself somewhere without any notion on how you got there?" "No, of course not-" "Have you been feeling violent without a reason? Felt like attacking or hurting others for-" "No! However I do start feeling unreasonably violent when I spend too much time talking with you!" Wilson snapped. "I'm not an idiot, Maxwell! If something that alarming had happened, I'd have spoken up sooner. It's not anything remotely that concerning." "Then what is it?" Wilson shook his head, picking up his scattered tools and cleaning up the place. "It's nothing. You needn't worry about me turning into a werepig, I assure you." Maxwell scrutinized him for few tense moments, then he simply shrugged and plopped back down on the mat. "...Suit yourself. Judging by the exceedingly vague information you've shared, it sounds like you aren't suffering from anything worse than your average Constant-induced paranoia. Sleep on it and have some mushrooms, doctor." Wilson ignored the sarcasm dripping from that last epithet. Why had he even brought up the topic in the first place, if he wasn't willing to discuss the most important parts? ...For fear, plain and simple. He was afraid of not being able to trust his own mind, which was the only thing that had allowed him to survive that long. He was still afraid, despite Maxwell's 'diagnosis'. Was there a way to soothe his worries without exposing himself too much? "...Can I ask you a favor?" Maxwell's silence felt both like a kindness and an insult. "Could you... keep an eye on me?" Wilson managed. "Just in passing. If you notice something off about my behavior, could you just... bring it up privately? Just to make sure I'm not overlooking any strange signs." Maxwell studied him for a long moment. "Why are you asking me? I barely see you. You spend much more time away from the base with the lumberjack and the arsonist." "...I'm not really well acquainted with them. I don't think anyone in the camp has known me long enough to notice if my manners were to change, subtly or not. You've been watching me for a long time, though." "And you would trust me, if I told you so?" Maxwell went on, tilting his head slightly. "If I told you to do or not to do something because it's 'off', you wouldn't assume I'm just trying to manipulate you into doing or not doing something simply because it benefits me?" ...He really didn't get the whole trusting thing, did he? "I guess I don't have much of a choice either way." Maxwell kept observing with an unreadable expression. Then, he shrugged and closed his eyes again. "All right." "You will?" Wilson couldn't help but asking, surprised by his compliance. "Sure, why not? It's not like I don't already enjoy every occasion you offer me to point out any and every harebrained idea that goes through your fuzzy head. How's this any different? If you do something stupid, I'll tell you it's stupid." Wilson blinked. That wasn't exactly what he had envisioned, but he guessed he should take what he could get. And there, just like that, he already felt a little better. He already felt the weight on his chest lighten a bit, just because someone else was informed of the problem (even just a little part of it, a blessedly little part, God forbid Maxwell ever found out about the rest) and had somewhat agreed to lend a hand. It was nice to have a safety net, however flimsy and rude it may be. "...Thank you." The rain had stopped. Wilson picked up his supplies and tapped on Maxwell's shoulder. "Don't fall asleep yet. You've lost a lot of fluids, I'll bring you something to drink." "I don't sleep and you know it." "Then why are you lying there in silence and with your eyes closed?" "Same reason as always. I grow tired of seeing your face and hearing your voice, at times." Wilson couldn't hold back a small smile. He had already asked that same question, and got that same reply. That was familiar too, even reassuring in its predictability. "Right. Try not to faint, then." He walked out of the tent, his smile growing with the irked grumble he got in response.

#don't starve #maxwil #maxwell #Wilson P. Higgsbury #wickerbottom #wolfgang #webber #wendy #abigail

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holyytaehyung · 7 years ago

Text

Rumours and Remorse. (A)

- PART THREE (ANGST ENDING).

//issa attempt at angst ok fight me x x x//

‘We can always try.’

—————

And that is exactly what they planned to do. No one exactly knew where to go or what to say, but all the boys seemed to have one thing in common - that they wanted, they needed your forgiveness.

It was Yoongi’s idea that they decided to follow, he seemed successful in every other aspect of how he dealt with the situation. As he previously explained to the boys what he did to learn the truth of the matter, the others immediatley felt awful. Awful for not believing you. Awful for not even giving you a chance. Granted, some of the boys decided to turn against Namjoon for it was initially his decision to remove you from their life - But after correction from Yoongi, on how they were all equally to blame, every one began to simmer down. And to more importantly, think of a way to earn your forgiveness.

Which is what brought them here - Yoongi decided on a casual approach, to be honest and sincere, the seven boys stared at your apartment door with a sudden sense of apprehension. All seemingly in a silent, conjoined thought process, worried that quite frankly, forgiveness would be far out of the question.

‘So… who’s going to knock?’

‘Why are you so scared? We’ve been here before.’

‘Not like this we haven’t.’

It was Jungkook and Jimin bickering back and forth, yet no one seemed to want to stop it. Because if they were arguing with one another then atleast they wouldn’t have to worry about dealing with the real issue at hand. The issue that they wish the could ignore, rather to just walk back into your life without a worry in the world, but they knew that was impossible. Yet they were terrified to try and fix it.

‘I’ll knock, let’s just… let’s just try and do this right.’

It was Hoseoks voice that eventually outweighed the quiet bickering going on beside him, which quickly brought everyone to an immediate silence, waiting for your face to greet them at the door, waiting for their chance to fix what they all ignorantly broke.

Knock.

————

You were in your kitchen as you heard the door go, it was a questionable hour for one of your friends to turn up, you had learnt their schedules by now. You knew they either had work - or frankly - their own lifes to live, rather than to constantly join you in your own pity. You stared at your reflection, assuming that whoever were to be at the door, wouldn’t be of high importance (you assumed a neighbour or delivery personal) So, setting your pride aside, you begrudgingly opened your door. Only to immediatley, regret the decision.

Oh right, you forgot you owned a peep-hole and how badly you wished you hadn’t. Your eyes immediatly found Hoseoks, who stared ar yours with kindness, the other boys almost hidden behind him.

‘Y/n… I’m surprised you opened the door..’

‘…So- so am I. W-what do you want?’

Hoseoks face dropped at the question, you seemed so timid and hostile. Your demeanor paying attention to anything that wasn’t them, almost as if you were frightened of their next move.

‘To talk to you Y/n, please.’

Yoongi spoke up, stepping forward infront of Jungkook who stepped behind. He looked tired, as if he hadn’t slept for days on end. Yet you couldn’t find it in you to melt in their arms, you felt so bitter and heartbroken by the situation - and you were showing it.

‘You had nothing to say to me the other day Yoongi.’

It was harsh, but true. You knew that - they knew that. You had no idea of Yoongi’s actions over the past few days, yet you didn’t want to know, or care. Deciding that in the moment, it would be best to shut the door - despite the pettiness behind the action.

‘No, Y/n please. Don’t. Not to him atleast, he’s done so much, just please. Hear us- hear him out.’

At the voice of Namjoon your actions wavered. Namjoon was certainly the most harsh towards you, you couldn’t blame him though. He was doing what he thought were right. So at his suggestion, you couldn’t help but consider it - to be mature and sincere of the situation. It would be the right thing to do.

‘Alright, come in - all of you, if you want… You don’t have to if you don’t feel comfortable around here, around me.’

There it was. The crack in your voice that you tried to hide, emotions weren’t going to get the best of you this time, you weren’t going to fall victim to your emotional vunrability at this time. You were sure the boys heard it, you were sure they could tell you were struggling - your face showed it. But you were grateful that they hadn’t mentioned it, that they weren’t going to take advantage of your current state.

—————

Taehyung and Jungkook were the last to enter, shutting the door quietly behind them. Only then did everyone really take in the surroundings, the takeout food on the counters - far too much for you to solely eat alone. The pillows and pile of dvd’s on the couch. Every second passing filling them with more and more guilt, swallowing them each individually. Yet it was Hoseok who decided to take control of the inevitable conversation, praying that their presence in your apartment was a good sign, despite the cut-throat tension that was very apparent.

‘You’ve had people over? I didn’t know you knew other people in the area?’

‘Well yes Hoseok, I do have other friends.’

The tension was thick within a minute, the apparent truth was deeming on the boys’ heads. That you were truely, truely angry. Yet they couldn’t argue with it, they couldn’t fight back or argue against you. Your feelings were perfectly valid - they deserved the treatment they were recieving, but they wanted so badly, for that not to be the case.

‘Y/n look, I ask for you to not speak untill I’m done because I have a lot to say, what we did - what we all did was wrong. But, we know the truth now, I found out the truth the other day and I know we don’t deserve it, but please forgive us? We were tired and stressed, and quite frankly naive of the whole situation. We’re so sorry. Is there anything we can-‘

‘No Yoongi. There isn’t anything you can do, you didn’t even hear me out! You didn’t even want to believe me? I’m so impressed you learned the truth! Wow it must have been so hard for you! I really hope you’re happy with your detective skills, because quite frankly - I had prove all along, but you didn’t even bother to try!’

Your voice dripped with a mix of venom and sarcasm as you handed over the text message you recieved that fateful night. Only for it to reach the eyes of a dissapointed Yoongi, who wanted nothing but to pull you into a hug - to go back to how things were. But it was becoming more and more evident that the thought of everything being okay, was an impossible dream to reach.

‘Look Y/n we’re sorry, we should’ve come sooner-‘

‘Yeah Kook, you should have-‘

‘Please… I know we messed up bad. But can’t you forgive us? Is there really no hope for that?’

Your blood was heating up, you could feel the tears well up in the corners of your eyes at the devastated tone in your voice. You knew they were sorry, you really did. But that didn’t matter, your friendship would have forever been changed - whatever trust you thought you had with them, was evidently one sided. Your insticts telling you to forgive them, to go with the easy option were rising. But you had to push them aside - atleast for now, you knew it was the best desicision even if it doesn’t feel like it.

So with an exhasperated sigh, you did what you had to do, no matter how badly you wished you didn’t have too.

‘What- whatever trust we had, it wasn’t the same for you guys. It will never be the same either, maybe… no, no maybe. It is best if you leave, atleast for now. You can’t just walk back in here assuming it would all be okay, I need to know you mean your apology, and I can’t believe that right now.-‘

‘Y/n don’t say that, we’ll make it work-‘

‘No Hobi, not yet anyways. Just some time apart okay? You’ll be fine, the world keeps turning like that. If you really are sorry- time will prove that, I’m not saying that we can’t have some sort of relationship. Just not like the one we used to have.’

You had to turn away, you could hear the quiet sobs of Jimin and Jungkook, no one wanted to face eachother. No one wanted to speak, no one wanted this moment to end because worry that this would be last ever exchange between the eight of you filled the air. You needed to be strong, you had to be - so with a heavy heart, you reached for the front door, opening it for them, like they did for you. The irony of the situation almost wanting to make you laugh.

‘Please don’t do this. I don’t want to lose you, Y/n.’

‘You’re not losing me Jimin. None of you are, or will ever be. But this it’s whats best, you need to learn whether you can trust me, whether you want me to be apart of your life. And I need to do the same.’

Jimin was first to leave the apartment, followed by taehyung and Jungkook who did nothing but hug you, reminding you of how you’ll meet again. Of how they’ll make it up to you in time, just like you wanted.

‘Please take care Y/n. I’m so, so sorry. This is all my fault.’

‘It’s not you fault for not having faith in me Joon. Maybe in time, we’ll work this out. None the less, stay safe.’

Namjoon and Jin quickly followed, promising the same as the younger boys infront of them. Leaving Hoseok and Yoongi behind, who between the pair - had no intention of giving up so easily, being routed in their place. Staring at you with unreadible emotions, before Hoseok stepped forward, with a deep sigh and large hug.

‘We’ll meet again Y/n, I know we will - I won’t give up, none of us will. I know you need distance, but I’ll be back soon, we can work this out.’

Hoseok left Yoongi behind, yet Yoongi still had no intention of leaving. He had so much to say, he was so scared that he wouldn’t be able to say it. That the other boys wouldn’t live up to their promises like before. That this really was the end of a beautiful friendship.

‘Y/n… I don’t want this to be it.’

‘I never said it was Yoongs-‘

‘-But you think it is? I know you don’t believe the others. But believe me okay? I don’t want to lose you Y/n.’

‘Yoongi, you already lost me when you gave up on me. You could have came after me, or atleast let me try to explain, yet you couldn’t. You all made the choice to let me go. You didn’t lose me. You removed me.’

‘-And that was a mistake Y/n. People make mistakes, just don’t let this go. I can’t do this without you.’

‘You can and you will Yoongi. If it’s meant to be it will work out, the universe has a plan. This was meant to happen-‘

‘-Not like this Y/n, not like this.’

A comfortable silence followed, you and Yoongi staring into one anothers eyes. Both of you silently knowing that there was more than a potential friendship here. Yet it was broken, so horribly broken passed fixing, you both knew that by this stage. Yet Yoongi didn’t want to leave - as he knew it would be the end, for the minimum of a long time.

‘Yoongi don’t make this harder than it already is, please go. You know it’s the wisest choice.’

A silent knod followed, as Yoongi made his way to the exit knowing the car would be waiting outside. His eyes met yours one last time, before he pulled you in for a gentle kiss. He couldn’t resist the oppurtunity to have you the way he wanted - even if it were just for a second. With the wipe of a tear, he made the desicision to cross the threshold, stepping outside into the hallway, looking back at your teary face with a gentle, bittersweet smile. Step after step leading him towards the staircase, stopping to look at your face one last time, saying the only thing he deemed appropraite. Hoping that this time, the following statement would be true - that he would be able to keep his mental promise, despite how unlikely that might be.

‘Goodbye, stay safe - I’ll see you again.’

The exact same thoughts ran through your head, all the missed oppurtunities you might of had, yet rather being filled with dread and anger, a feeling of acceptance accompanied you. That maybe one day you would meet again, that maybe things would work out, that maybe the eight of you would no longer be subtle strangers, but that day - just wasn’t today.

‘Until next time, i guess, Min Yoongi. don’t forget me, none of you.’

‘We could never…

…Until next time, Y/n L/n.’

—————

YA GIRL IS LOWKEY SUCKY AT ANGST BC I LIVE FOR FLUFF IM SORRY DON’t @ ME! BUT HERE IS THE ANGSTY ENDING!!! FLUFF ENDING WILL BE LINKED SO GO READ THAT IF YOU WANT!! TYSM FOR THE SUPPORT IN THIS MINI SERIES - ILY ALL XXXX

also the fluffy ending features more on the rest of the boys too as I initially planned the fluffy ending - So i had a lot better of an idea of what I wanted to happen! I know a lot if you wanted angst so this is purely for you guys! I hope i didn’t dissapoint :(

PART ONE. PART TWO. PART THREE (F).

(all gif creds go to owners. please let me know feedback on this, always feel free to message me too!I hope you have/are having a good day ♡ ).

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poppukko · 7 years ago

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The Queen’s Throne// Chapter 7 3/3

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 7 2/3

Warning: Swearing

Emptiness.

Hoshiko was sitting on the kitchen floor at 2 a.m., drinking wine that belonged to her husband. She hated the stuff, but after a few drinks, she became addicted to it. It gave her the comfort she needed, something that no one gave her. I see why men drink the stuff..., she mumbled.

The light-weight bottle of wine, almost empty, began slipping from Hoshiko’s hands, as she was lost in thought.

Pathetic, lying bastard...

The wine bottle eventually slipped from Hoshiko’s fingers, broken shards now on the floor. The little wine it had left reflecting the misery and betrayal she felt.

Hoshiko hazily looked at the “spell book” next to her, if it even was a spell book.

Hoshiko discovered a disturbing truth about her mother, Akane. Her mother’s naivete from her childhood never left her as she went to adulthood- the main cause her husband cheated on her. Akane was childish back then, always talking in riddles, and it eventually creeped out her husband. Hoshiko was disgusted by her mother’s behavior, but remembered that her mother’s childhood wasn’t all pink and rainbows.

Hoshiko sighed as she threw the book in the trash. True, Hoshiko was naive, but not like her mother, who couldn't tell the difference between fiction and reality.

Pathetic...

It's been a month since she found out Ryuji was cheating on her. Hoshiko thought she could handle it, as long as he didn't divorce her. She was content with just being his wife-- or so she thought.

More days went by and it slowly gnawed a Hoshiko's heartstrings, seeing him out every night sleeping around with other woman. It hurt her, in more ways than she can imagine. Clutching the hem of her nightgown, she looked towards her phone and tapped twice, reading the time.

It’s 4 a.m... fuck, everything hurts...

She sighed and lied down on her bed. Hoshiko stared up at the dark ceiling, thinking of the many things she wanted; being held in her lover’s arms, kissed, touched, cuddled....

Feeling something wet on her eye, Hoshiko touched her cheek.

"Huh...?" Hoshiko touched her wet cheek, "T-tears...? I'm... crying again?"

Hoshiko whimpered. She put her hands over her wet eyes, and let the tears spill once more.

She hated Ryuji, yet she couldn’t let him go.

///

A few days later, she and her husband were at the kitchen table, eating a rare meal together.

Ryuji, slightly concerned for his wife, asked, "Hoshiko, honey, are you alright?"

Hoshiko slowly turned to look at Ryuji. Hoshiko looked awful, having very obvious dark circles under her eyes, her skin very pale-- probably for the lack of sun. Her short hair was messy; as of it hasn't been combed in weeks.

Opening her mouth, Hoshiko responded, "I am fine."

Ryuji got up and leaned towards Hoshiko, checking her face a bit closer, "Are you sure...? You sure don't seem fine to me."

Hoshiko nodded.

He's... worried for me now? Out of all times, it had to be now?

Ryuji sat back down, not satisfied with her answer, "Alright... remember you can tell me anything, I'm you're husband." Finishing his plate , he stood up and told Hoshiko, "I'm off to work! Also, later this evening we'll be going to a party. Make sure you look... presentable."

Hoshiko slowly nodded, her dark,empty eyes looking straight onto Ryuji’s bright ones. Ryuji smiled, "Well, I'm off!" and closed the door behind him.

He wants me to go to a party with him...? Maybe... maybe he wants to apologize...?

///

Hoshiko spent the day making herself look presentable. She was still depressed, but going to a party with Ryuji might just be what she was looking for.

After eating lunch, she took a hot shower, cleaning and scrubbing her hair and body. It's been a while since I last showered throughly... when was the last time I showered...? She couldn't remember.

After that, she shaved her body hair, as her legs and armpits were rather hairy. Not that she cared, but she longed for Ryuji to accept her, to truly love her. Maybe... maybe...

When she finished shaving, she began going through her closet looking for the right dress, shoes, and accessories to wear.

"What to wear... what would he like his woman to wear?" Hoshiko wondered. She began thinking what type of dresses he would usually like on a woman...

Wait, no, she shouldn't be thinking that. Not after everything he's done to her. Her family's business is going bankrupt, he's cheating on her, and...

Hoshiko shook her head. No, she didn't have time to think about this now, she had to get her clothes ready for the party.

///

After checking her closet for the perfect dress that evening, she finally made the decision to wear a long, navy blue dress, with small, glittering gems decorating the torso and the hem of her dress.

"Perfect," she smiled.

She laid the navy blue dress on her bed, and headed towards her dresser.

She sat down in front of it, and began styling her hair and putting makeup on her face.

However, as she cut her long hair a month ago, she had a hard time figuring out how to do her hair.

“I can only hope for the best now,” Hoshiko thinly smiled at herself as she styled her short hair.

///

It was 7 p.m., the time where her husband was going to take her to tonight's party. Wearing her long, navy blue dress, she walked down the stairs with a happy vibe, the bidders looking up at her in awe.

"You look beautiful, Hoshiko! Glad to see you happy!" said Baba eagerly.

"You clean up good! You don't look like trash for once!," exclaimed Ota.

"Ota!" Soryu glared at Ota.

"The kid's right," said Mamoru, "You look nice for once."

"Thanks guys," Hoshiko warmly smiled.

Ryuji coughed, interrupting the bidder’s interactions with Hoshiko.

"You look beautiful Hoshiko, but it's time to go. We might be late at this rate," said Ryuji.

He called me beautiful...!

"Okay!" Hoshiko blushed as she grabbed her husband’s extended hand.

"Then let's get going then," he smiled.

///

At the party, Hoshiko was happy. Happy that she finally got her husband all to herself, with jealous stares and gushing couples looking at the married couple as they danced with smiles plastered onto her face.

Hoshiko was happy she danced with him, him treating her like the princess she was.

Her mood started to drop when he left her to dance with another woman much more prettier than her. She heard snickers from the group of girls 5 feet away from her.

“Did you know? Her husband’s cheating on her with that girl!”

“So I’ve heard! I could’t care less, though, haha!”

“Don’t you feel bad?”

“Not at all! She doesn’t deserve someone as hot as Ryuji. With his neat hair and gorgeous hot body, ah~, he deserves someone better.”

Eavesdropping and the woman’s conversation, she turned to them and gave them a glare before walking away, hearing laughter.

She walked away from the crowd and went into the hall, trying to maintain calm, and tried telling herself, "He's just trying to be polite..."

He’s just being polite to the woman. You don’t even know who’s he cheating on you with.

Taking deep breaths, Hoshiko looked out the nearby window. The moon’s light shined onto Hoshiko’s face, showing her pity. Sighing, she looked back at the moon, putting on a brave face before searching for her husband.

It’s about time I confront him and come clean.

///

"What a scoundrel you are, openly cheating on your wife like this," said the beautiful woman dancing with Ryuji.

Ryuji scoffed, "If I were truly a scoundrel, I would've done much more monstrous things. She's lucky she has me."

The woman giggled, "Heh, does she know?"

"Of course she knows," Ryuji grinned, "do you want to get some fresh air?"

Ryuji stopped dancing and put his hand on the woman's back, and guided her to the balcony outside.

///

This is a really small mansion..., thought Hoshiko.

She tried finding her husband in the party hall, but he was no longer there. Her stomach turning into knots, she hurried out of there, determined to find her husband more than ever.

She continued walking through the halls until she spotted two people at the balcony.

Insticts took over her and she hid behind the pillar beside her. She peeked her head towards the balcony, squinting. She saw her husband, Ryuji, talking with that beautiful woman, the one he was dancing with earlier.

"How... how could he...," she whispered, tears threatening to spill. She concentrated on hearing their conversation.

"I love you, Ryuji... Let's run away together!" said the woman.

Hoshiko gasped, What... why is she...!

Ryuji lovingly looked at the woman, his warm brown eyes staring onto her.

A tear drop spilled onto Hoshiko's cheek. She furiously wiped it away.

I must contain my composure...! I have to stay strong!

Ryuji caressed the woman’s cheek in a loving manner.

"I... love you too," responded Ryuji, smiling.

Hoshiko's eyes grew wide, anger surging through her.

The couple shared a hug for a brief moment, with the woman letting go first, "I've got to go now, see you tomorrow evening, my love."

“See you,” responded Ryuji.

She waved goodbye and left Ryuji alone on the balcony.

Having enough, Hoshiko made sure the woman left, and slowly walked behind Ryuji.

Taking a deep breath, Hoshiko made her way towards him. There was no other person in sight.

"...Ryuji," Hoshiko firmly said.

"...huh?" Ryuji turned around, surprised to see Hoshiko this close in front of him.

Ryuji's surprised expression returned to normal as he kindly stared at Hishiko.

What do you see in her...? Hoshiko felt her heart beat faster.

"What is it Hoshiko? Is there something wrong?"

Hoshiko took a deep breath. If only she had faced him sooner.

"I... Why... why are you cheating on me...?" trembled Hoshiko. She didn't want to cry in front of him-- no, she had to stay strong, for herself.

"Oh...? You found out?" Hoshiko felt Ryuji's aura go darker, "Why...? Haha, isn't it obvious, Hoshiko? I wanted to be the CEO of the company your family owns. Well, owned, pfft."

"Was that all I ever meant to you? Just a pawn? Did you even love me...? Every loving word you said to me... was that all a lie?"

Ryuji stepped closer and held Hoshiko's chin closer to his face.

Argh...!

“It was all a lie,” Ryuji grinned maliciously.

"So naive... to think I would fall in love with someone like you...! Haha, how pathetic." He roughly let go of her chin.

Eyes wide, Hoshiko couldn't believe the hideous words coming out of his mouth. Her emotions were getting out of control. She wanted to cry, oh so bad.

"What are you going to do now, Hoshiko? Cry away your problems? Ha, that won't work, Hoshiko. You're an adult. Act like it." snickered Ryuji.

"An adult...?"

Ryuji nodded, "Yes, yes, Hoshiko, time to grow up!"

"... I have...!"

"Hoshiko... honey, no you haven't! You have the same mindset as your mother: childish. You believe in those 'witch stories' your mother has told you? Trash."

"...! How did you know about that...!?"

"Your mother told me."

“... I don’t believe in them! A-and I’m not childish! Ryuji, I loved you...! How could you do this to me!”

"...Is that really going to work on me, Hoshiko? Your tears won't work on me, nor on anyone, it's useless.

“I never loved you, Hoshiko, get that through your thick skull, will you?”

Hoshiko looked down to the floor. Hearing this out of Ryuji's own mouth made things worse. She couldn't believe it, was she in denial the whole time? Yeah... that's it. Maybe this is just an eye opener for her. Maybe--

"Look, I'm heading back, I dunno about you--" began Ryuji. Ryuji suddenly stopped, a strong, yet delicate hand holding him back.

Hoshiko wouldn’t let him go, no matter how hard Ryuji struggled. Hoshiko’s aura turned threatening, slightly frightening Ryuji.

"Hoshiko... let go. Now." Ryuji warned.

He couldn't see her face, as she was still looking down at the ground.

"..."

Ryuji was roughly pushed back onto the stone balcony, hurting his lower back.

"Hoshiko what on earth--"

Before Ryuji could finish his sentence, he fell off the balcony, Hoshiko’s dark expression looking down at him.

///

Trying to maintain her rapid beating heart, Hoshiko quickly went back inside the mansion, making her way to a nearby restroom.

Inside, Hoshiko looked into the mirror. She looked like a mess-- her makeup was slightly, but notably, ruined. Her hands were trembling violently. She... really did it. She killed him off...!

I killed him off...!

Hoshiko fixed her makeup with trembling hands. He couldn't have survived that, no he couldn't have-- the fall was too high, no way he survived that.

Hoshiko washed her hands. That goddamn bastard should've never cheated on her in the first place. He would've still been alive, Hoshiko in his arms.

Hoshiko left the bathroom and headed towards the party hall. On the way there, she passed by the woman Ryuji was cheating with.

Motherfucker would still be living if he chose me. I would've forgiven him! But he chose her instead of me! I hope she feels the desperation I've felt when I couldn't have him.

"Hoshiko!" someone called out to her. She turned to the direction of the voice and saw Baba with Ota.

"Hey, Hoshiko, where's Ryuji at?" Ota asked.

The godforsaken bastard is dead, Hoshiko thought.

"I'm not sure... last time I saw him he headed towards the balcony? I'm not sure," said Hoshiko.

"Are you okay, Hoshiko?" asked Baba concerned. Hoshiko sensed Baba trying to read her expression.

"Yeah, I'm fine Baba. Go on and find Ryuji. Tell him I'm going home if you find him." said Hoshiko.

Baba hesitated and told Ota to go separate ways to find Ryuji.

I have finally gotten my revenge on the good-for-nothing bitch.

///

"Hoshiko!" Mamoru knocked on her door.

Hoshiko, a bit groggy since she fell asleep, opened the door, "What is it Mamoru...? It's 1 a.m. in the morning."

Mamoru never looked so serious, in the two years she knew Mamoru.

"You might need to sit down, Hoshiko. It's about... Ryuji."

Ah, so they found him dead.

Hoshiko sat down on the couch, inviting Mamoru to do the same. Mamoru sat down next to Hoshiko, sighed and looked into Yoshiko's brown eyes.

"Imma just go straight to the point. Ryuji's dead."

Hoshiko felt her heart beat fast. He's dead... good for him... haha.

"He... is?" Hoshiko said, pretending to feel sorrow.

Mamoru nodded,"I'm sorry."

///

The next few days passed by in a blur. With Ryuji's death, everything was chaotic. Good, as Hoshiko soon took control of her company once more.

Finally I could make some use of my business degree, she thought.

She also got her immense fortune back, and then something else.

The bidders were distraught with Ryuji's death. Although Ryuji handled the company very poorly, he brought in benefits from the auctions themselves.

Hoshiko knew about the auctions, but chose not to participate in such a thing.

Now with Ryuji's death, it seemed that his job as auction manager would fall onto Hoshiko's hands.

Hoshiko accepted it with a firm nod. The bidders promised her that they would teach her how to handle the auctions, and she would go from there.

All's well that ends well... except...

///

She would just get in the way! I can't have her meddling with what I do!

I need her to get away from me... if she doesn't I might as well become insane like her and talk nonsense! Haha!

That's it... I'd just kill her, simple as that...!

On a certain day, Hoshiko invited her mom out for tea, to celebrate Hoshiko's success.

"Congratulations, Hoshiko! I'm glad you came to your senses...!" Hoshiko's mother said joyfully.

"Thanks mom, I'm glad you're proud of me!" said Hoshiko.

Her mother giggled, sipping from her cup of tea, "Hmm, tastes weird..."

"Mother...?”

“Yes, Hoshiko?”

“How was dad like?”

Clunk!

The tea cup was roughly set onto the saucer, the air feeling tense.

“He was a weird man...,” began Akane with a tense expression, her forehead showing wrinkles as she thought hard.

“He kept a ton of secrets from me, books in a language I didn’t understand. Throbbed in his sleep... probably because of the guilt he had when he cheated on me,” answered Akane, grinning.

“He was still charming, though! In his own way, of course.”

“I see...,” responded Hoshiko meekly.

Akane sighed, “He deserved to die, like all other men.”

“...

“I’m going to go now, mother,” Hoshiko stood up from her seat, leaving her mother behind.

“Alright dearie, take care!” waved her mother.

Insane... useless...

///

"My mother's dead?" asked Hoshiko.

"Y-yes, you're mother died from an unknown cause. She wouldn't wake up this morning, no matter how hard we tried to wake her up. A doctor came in later that day and presumed her dead,” said a servant from her mother’s household..

Pretending to be shocked, Hoshiko managed an "Oh dear". She called off the servant and began making arrangements for her funeral.

"Hmph, finally. Now that she's out of my way, time to finally make my legacy,” she mumbled as she called to arrange the funeral.

///

“This will be the only time I’ll help... take this info for granted.”

///

Chapter 7 3/3 End

Finally finished, aaaaa! Sorry I haven't updated in week, haha but I’m back! Things have been getting rough in life but I’ll update it when I can!

Tagging: @catchthespade @hobo4lyfe11 @snootz33 @medievalbingeprincess69 @lone-wolf155 @kingdomzeldaquest

#eisuke ichinomiya #kissed by the baddest bidder #kbtbb #voltage inc #aaaaa I hope this one's good...!#took me... almost a month... to make it as great as I possibly can...#telling the backstory of this Hoshiko... oml T-T #celestialwrites

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hqtbells-blog · 8 years ago

Text

milan adventures. + trendall

TAGGING: Troian Bellisario, Kendall Jenner @ikennyxo, Phillip + Sophia Allen.

LOCATION: Milan, Italy. Hotel, gelato cafe, toy store.

TIMEFRAME: February 24th, 2017.

NOTES: Expecting a fun evening out in Milan, the two girls get more than they bargained for with an over tired Phillip.

Kendall: It had been such an honor for Kendall to open the Moschino show, the first time for the model with that brand so she was naturally nervous but excited about it. She feared she's trip and fall but having her friends there, Bella and Gigi, made it a bit less scary for her so before she knew it, the model was on the runway walking down in the outfit that was chosen for her. She had to walk in two different ones but at the end of it, she was happy when people started congratulating her. "I'm on my way back." She sent the text to Troian as she was in the car that would drive her back to the hotel where they'd been staying. Having her friend with her during Fashion week was a great, it was amazing to be able to show her around town and just have Troian actually in the audience at one show to see her walking. They had another day out planned with the kids and the model was very excited to see where they'd be going now. The drive wasn't long so Kendall was back just about 20 minutes after she sent the text. "I'm baaaack." She shouted out as she entered the suite the four of them had been staying in.

Troian had wanted to attend as many shows of Kendall's as possible, since she was so proud of her friend for getting all these honors. Unfortunately, she had only been able to sit in one and the reason for that were the two kids currently jumping up and down on the bed. "Philly, you're going to fall off the bed and bust your head," she warned. She knew that sometimes she needed to just let her children make their own mistakes but she swore grey hairs were being added by the minute to her own head each time she watched her two year old make another high leap. Sophia was always eager to follow in her brothers footsteps so she too was trying her hardest to jump and Troian finally grabbed her by the waist. "Phillip Matthew! Stop! /Now/!" She accentuated the last word with what she liked to call her "mommy voice" - no nonsense and as stern as could be, and ignored the glare he shot her. He could be mad at her, that was fine. He'd get over it. Hearing Kendall open the door and step inside, Troian rolled her eyes as Phillip immediately ran over to her to hug her around the legs. "He's going to tell you I'm mean," she chuckled and then gave Kendall a smile. "How was it, babe?!"

Kendall: "Unf" Kendall almost stumbled as Phillip ran over to her to hug her legs, chuckling when she heard what Troian said. It was funny to see how kids would take refuge in other people when they thought the parents weren't nice to them. "It was great! I was so nervous to open the show but it all went great. I looked like a big brief in my first outfit but it was amazing!" She beamed whenever talking about her job, the ones she was most proud of. The spark in her eyes remained hours after the show, especially since this one was special. "Now..." She slowly took Philly's hands away to crouch in front of him noticing the pout on his face. "Why does mommy say you think she's being mean? Did she say no to more ice cream? Auntie Kenny will talk to her" She kept it light hoping things weren't as serious. She never wanted to mess with the way her friends were raising their kids but she also had the instict of an aunt to let kids do things parents wouldn't. "Are we going out?" She looked up at her friend with brows raised not sure if they're still on with the plans they made earlier.

Troian was smiling just as big as Kendall as she listened to her friend talk about her show. It was adorable, to see the glow that practically settled across Kendall's face as she described what it felt like to be on the runway. The show Troian had been able to catch had been a lot of fun and that was why she was so bummed that she didn't get to see more. Still, her kids came first and she loved Kendall even more for knowing and respecting that. "We definitely have to celebrate then so yes, we're going out. I'm not sure if Philly deserves an ice cream cone though.." Her tone trailed off as she adjusted Sophia on her hip and bit her lip to hide her smile as Phillip immediately shook his head and clung onto Kendall for more support. Ugh. Those big blue eyes of his and the puppy dog pout he had inherited from both his parents; every one was in a world of trouble when it came to saying no to them. "But Aunt Kendall thinks you do, so you're lucky. Put on your shoes and we'll head out." Setting Sophia down on the bed so she could slide a coat over her, Troian looked over at Kendall. "And don't even protest that I'm treating you."

Kendall: Kendall just nodded when Troian talked about Phillip, she figured there was a reason for it and that Troian would tell her if it was something big. The model winked at the little boy when they finally got an approval from the actress, Philly smiled mischievously which made Kenny giggle. "Let me just put a hat on my head, my hair doesn't look good and I don't have the time to wash it" She walked into the bathroom letting her hair down and it surely didn't look like she wanted so she just took a hat and put it on, making her outfit look chic. The girl stepped out again with a smile on her face, happy to be able to go out with her friend and her kids. "Okay, you can treat me" She grinned standing in front of Phillip and helping him with his jacket before taking Soph in her arms so Troian could get ready too. "One day we're gonna be watching you on the big ads and runways if you keep looking that gorgeous, princess" She cooed at her tickling the little girl to make her laugh. "Ready?" She looked over to her friend with her hand on the door handle, excited to get out with them.

Troian thanked Kendall as she took over so that Troian could get ready. She had mastered the art of dressing herself in record speed so all Troian needed to do was slide on another coat of mascara, pull her hair back into a short ponytail and then slide a hoodie over her slim figure. "You look gorgeous," she called out over to Kendall - clearly, she was a rising /supermodel/. "Both my favorite girls look gorgeous," she smiled at the two of them and then straightened up. Yep. This was as good as it was going to get with her. Zipping up her boots and holding Phillip's hand as they walked towards the door, Troian nodded. "Ready. You'll have to lead the way though. I may know Paris but Milan is still kind of a mystery to me." Troian placed her key card into her purse and then followed the merry band of them over to the elevator so they could head outside.

Kendall: Looking over at her friend, Kendall smiled when she noticed she was ready. "You look gorgeous too. Right, Philly? Mommy is pretty." She grinned walking out of the room with Soph on her hip hoping there weren't many paparazzi out so they could have a nice late afternoon/evening out with the kids. "You are in great hands" Kenny smiled, there were still few places she didn't take her friends to and she was looking forward to show them another one. Taking her phone out when they were walking out of the elevator, Kenny snapped few pictures of her and the little girl wanting to save them for time when she'd miss the kids so she'd have these memories with her. "You three had a good day too?" Kendall asked as she motioned for her friend to follow her as she made her way to the place where she wanted to take them. It wasn't far away so they'd be able just walk over there and stop at a place nearby to buy something for kids to remember Milan and aunt Kendall.

Troian held onto Phillip's hand tightly as Kendall held onto Sophia's. The four of them made quite the cute picture and Troian observed in silence as Kendall took selfies with her daughter, smiling. It always gave her a warm glow of pleasure to see that her friends loved her children just as much as she did. When the elevator doors opened and they were going out, they walked out the lobby and to the outdoors. "We mostly just laid around in bed. They didn't seem to want to do anything," Troian motioned to the two silent kids who were walking and staring out at the sights around them. She pulled a wry face at Kendall. "They're very lazy today. But it was okay, I guess. We watched some TV, I convinced them to explore the gift shop with me. We bought some nice presents for everybody. I guess I'll just have to bring them back when they're older so they'll appreciate it more."

Kendall: "I envy you" Kendall chuckled. It was a white lie because while it was true she needed a day off, she would choose walking a show over being lazy any day. It was her adrenaline rush and something she enjoyed most so being tired was actually the only downside of her job right now. "If she ends up being into fashion, she'll appreciate having me in her life so I could sneak her into places most girls only dream about." The model smiled as they walked down the street, giggling when she saw a tattoo shop. "Do you approve of tattoos? You know, so kids remember this trip?" Kenny winked jokinn with her friend, she knew that tattoos weren't actually meant for kids. "So, do we go for a gelato first and then gifts from Kenny ro do we want gifts first?" She asked looking down at kids as there was no way their mom could talk her out of it, she was determined to get them each something nice here in Milan.

Troian never would have thought she'd have a daughter actually interested in fashion but Sophia seemed to be her polar opposite that way. Troian as a child had shyed away from dresses and bows and everything deemed "girlie" because she was a little tom girl. Sophia, on the other hand, didn't look as happy in over alls as she did in pretty pink pinafores. That was just the way the world worked, though. Your kids developed their own likes and dislikes and you had to accept them. "If she goes into fashion, you'll definitely be her biggest inspiration," Troian replied back to Kendall with a warm smile (because Lord knew Sophia wouldn't get quality tips from Troian). Swinging Phillip's hand lightly, Troian glanced over at the tattoo shop and crinkled her nose. "I actually do want to get a tattoo for them but maybe not today," she chuckled and then pointed to the gelato cafe. "Stop here first? I really am in the mood for something sweet."

Kendall: "And I'll be happy to give all the advice she needs, introduce her to right people. It's my only advantage over all the other aunties kids have." She chuckled looking down at the little girl and somewhat envied her for being so carefree, she still doesn't know how cruel the world can be and how exhausting it was to be an adult. Noddinh when she saw the place Troian was pointing at, Kenny walked over opening the door and going into the gelato cafe, her eyes glued to all the colorful choices they had. "What are you having?" She asked looking back at her friend, suddenly undecisive as she wanted so many flavors they were offering but she knew she just couldn't have them all. Luckily, the place wasn't too crowded and so far no one even noticed two famous girls with kids in there, it was a rare thing for Kendall but it felt good to be able to be out so carefree.

Troian walked into the cafe and was immediately struck by the long range of flavors. They all looked delicious, if she were being honest. "Can we have all?" She piped up, grinning at Kendall and then picking up Phillip so that he could see the choices better. He had a big sweet tooth, just like her. 'What do you want, baby boy?" She asked him and waited patiently as he pondered, his face very serious as he tried to pick out a flavor. "Chocolate!" He finally said and Troian relayed that to the worker, watching as they placed a scoop for him. "Chocolate for her as well," Troian jerked her thumb near Sophia and then it was her time to place an order. "And..mint chocolate chip for me." She waited until everybody had picked out their gelato and then Troian paid, leading the group of four over to a table in the corner. "Man, this is going to be so good," she remarked and set Phillip down in a chair. "After we eat, we'll walk around for a bit!"

Kendall: Kendall waited until everyone picked their flavors before she went with the same as Troian. Although she usually chose something fruity like blueberry or lemon, she wanted to treat herself after an important show. Knowing there was no use in trying to pay, Kendalll let Troian do it while she led the kids toward the table, placing Sophie right next to herself. "One can never have enough gelato when in Italy." The model giggled looking over at the little girl as she was starting to eat hers, to help her out and try to keep her somewhat clean."I'm so happy you could join me here, having you and the kids here really means a lot to me." The girl said honestly, although she missed few parties, the company in the hotel room was much better. Besides, there will be plenty of parties in Paris. "I hope one day you can come to Paris, the fashion week there is something else." Kenny said almost moaning when she tried her gelato but keeping herself quiet due to kids being around.

Troian "Seriously," Troian answered with her mouth already full. The cream just melted right on her tongue and it was exactly what she had been craving since arriving in Italy. Looking over at Phillip who was just poking his with a spoon, Troian frowned but directed her attention back to Kendall. "I'm so happy you invited me!" She confessed back just as sincerely. "I've really been missing you and we haven't had any time to just hang out. I was excited to have the kids see you too even if they're..not on their best behavior..Philly," Troian said abruptly, having trailed off as she witnessed her son pushing away his treat. "I thought you wanted some. Is something wrong with it?" Troian inspected the cup but nope, it was perfect. Phillip wasn't a picky eater either. "I don't want it," he told her stubbornly and Troian shook her head. "Eat a little bit, baby. You want some of Mommy's?" She tried to offer hers and sighed as Phillip pushed it away with his hand. "No," his voice was a whine and Troian knew she was in for it. "I want sissy's," he tried to reach for Sophia's and Troian shook her head. "Philly, that's exactly yours. Eat yours."

Kendall: Kendall noticed something was off and she suspected it had to do with Troian's comment before and when she saw how Phillip was acting, her suspicions were confirmed. Instead of tryng to intervene, Kenny remained silent. She tried to one time with Mason and she got a lesson from Kourtney later that the girl never even thought of getting in between a parent and kid again. Sophia moved closer to her when her brother tried to take her gelato from her and the model could only hope this won't turn into a disaster that they'd have to go back to their room. "Why don't you want yours, Philly?" She asked careful not to mend into Troian's way of trying to reason with him, it was the last thing she wanted. "You have such big scoop for yourseld, your sissy already ate a bit, you'd get less chocolate" She tried to keep it light.

Troian appreciated that Kendall was trying to keep the peace. She wasn't so much of a helicopter mom that she'd bark at people trying to help with her kids, but she didn't want Phillip to be told it was alright to act this way. She knew most of it was him being tired - he wasn't napping as much lately, and she knew the jet lag was messing with him. Still, she had shown him better manners than this and it was times like these she had to put her foot down. "Aunt Kendall's right, sissy is almost done with hers. Eat yours, it's the same chocolate. We'll save it for later if you don't want to finish it." She tried to smooth back his hair but Phillip only whined once more and retreated into his seat. "I don't want it!" He repeated louder and Troian's cheeks flushed pink, seeing that everyone was starting to turn around in their seats and watch the free show. "Alright," she told him calmly. "Then when you want some later, you can't have it. Either we save it or we dump it, Philly." Phillip answered her by swiping the gelato off the table and glaring at her. Her sweet little angel had just spouted devil horns. Troian's lips pressed together and she got up, throwing it away and turning back to Kendall. "Fun times ahead," she told her wryly and ignored Phillip's noise as he pouted at the table.

Kendall: The younger woman was surprised to see the boy acting like this, he was usually very sweet but then she remembered Troian saying he was throwing tantrums lately, not lot but there were few cases. Kenny looked at the girl snuggling up to her, the pout on her face as she looked confused with what was happening. Biting on her lip, Kendall finished her gelato soon enough, in case they needed to go and helped Sophia with hers, wiping her mouth so it isn't as smudged. The model looked around and saw one woman looking sternly at Troian and she just raised a brow daring her to say something. "Do you want us to go back? We don't have go to town if he'd be better back in the room. I don't mind really." She shrugged wanting to make it as easy for Troian as possible, after all she had seen enough of Milan. "I was looking forward to buying them stuff, I saw this really cool thing the other that Philly would love but I'm not sure he deserves it now." She spoke about him loud enough for him to hear on purpose, trying to help and maybe get him to apologize to Troian.

Troian resisted the urge to smile at what Kendall was saying. Bribery - maybe not the healthiest trick to use, but it was still effective. "I don't know. Maybe we should find somebody to watch Philly and us girls can go out and have a good time," Troian played along and arched a brow at Phillip, watching as his little face crumpled. It was this right there that always made Troian feel as if she were doing something wrong by denying him things, but she knew she couldn't just keep giving into the pouty face so easily. "Mama, no," he protested and tugged at Troian's sleeve. She pulled him out of his seat and onto her lap and was finally able to run her fingers through his soft blonde hair. "Then you have to behave. No more throwing things, okay? We're going to go shopping but if you act up, we're heading straight back to the room. Okay?" At his nod, Troian exchanged a smirk with Kendall and then finished up her gelato. "Alright K-Dawg, you and Princess Sophia ready to go?"

Kendall: Kendall had to admit she was relieved when Phillip went back to his old self and although bribery wasn't good, she just wanted them to have a nice time in Milan together, she didn't want everyone to remember it by fighting or crying. Kenny took out some wet wipes to clean up the little girl before she got up and lifted Soph to carry her to the store, it wasn't that far away anyway. "We were born ready" She winked at her friend before looking down at her son. "You know Philly, you're not that cute when throwing things" She teased sticking her tongue out at him hoping to get him to smile again. As they were out on the streets again, Kenny noticed it was a bit colder than LA but still warmer that how it was in New York the week before. "Let's make Aunty Kenny's bank account a bit less heavy" Kenny giggled walking into the stopre knowing she wouldn't deny anything the kids wanted her to buy them.

Troian shook her head as they walked down to the store. She wanted to protest Kendall buying them /anything/ but she knew that it wouldn't matter. Once Kendall had something in her mind, she made it happen. Holding onto Phillip's hand as they walked in, Troian pushed open the doors and was immediately struck by all the toys and gifts on display. "Wow, Philly, look at all this!" She offered and pulled him over to a large display of stuffed animals. He had a mountain of them back at home so really, what was one more to add to the collection? But Phillip didn't seem interested in that, more so in the painting supplies. Her little boy had an eye for art and he always loved to be coloring. Seeing that Phillip was preoccupied for now, Troian turned her attention to Sophia who was happy and content in Kendall's arms. "What do you want, Princess Soph?" She asked, tickling the little girl in the tummy. "She might like a doll, she loves holding them," Troian suggested to Kendall. "You're so sweet for doing this, by the way. Thank you."

Kendall: If there was something she loved buying more than her clothes, it was toys and clothes for her nieces and nephews. She slowly walked around the store with Soph in her arms to avoid the little girl making a mess even if it wasn't on purpose. All the things on display were amazing and she wouldn't be able to choose one herself either. "You love holding them? Maybe we could buy you a doll and some clothes for her so you can later dress her how you want" Kenny spoke to the girl showing her the dolls the store had to offer letting her choose the one she likes the most. "I see what you're doing there and stop. I'm not buying him a teddy bear just because it might be the cheapest thing here, okay? If he wants /that/-"she showed at where Phillip was standing - "he's getting it. I have enough money and I wanna spoil the once so please don't think about money right now" She pleaded at her friend.

Troian watched as Sophia picked out a doll that probably just seemed the prettiest to her, and smiled before returning her attention to Kendall. "I'm not doing anything," she suggested innocently but she knew Kendall was no fool. "It's just so expensive!" She groaned lightly, and shook her head. "He /really/ doesn't need it..but okay, okay, you buy him whatever you want." Troian gave Kendall a small smile, knowing her arguments were fruitless. Walking back over to Phillip, Troian watched as he perused through everything the store had to offer and then picked up both a coloring book and a full blown easel. "You can only get one, baby," Troian told him and in her mind, tried to plead with her son to buy the coloring book. How she planned on getting that easel back home, she didn't even know and it wasn't like he needed it. He had one set up at her house. "Both," Phillip insisted and Troian shook her head. "No, Philly. /One/." But Phillip wasn't having any of this either, his stubborn streak matching Troians. Joy. "BOTH," he shouted and his face screwed up like he was about to cry. "And now none," Troian told him firmly and went to pick him up but Phillip had flung himself at the floor and was crying at the top of his lungs. His first full out temper tantrum and Troian was /mortified/.

Kendall: Kendall was preocupied with Sophia as they tried to find some clothes for the doll totally ignoring Troian's tries to have the kids pick one tiny thing. She knew that parents always felt bad when someone wanted to buy the kids expensive stuff but Kenny really wanted to do this. She was into her own world with the little girl that she didn't notice what was going on in the store with the other two until she heard a cry and someone shouting and she immediately realized it was Phillip. Kendall walked over to them crouching down to get closer. "Philly, what's going on? You're scaring you little sissy" She tried to reason with him as Sophia clung to her unsettled now. Kenny looked up at Troian to try to get the answer. "You can pick whatever you want in the store Philly, we had a deal I'd buy the thing you want the most."

Troian didn't think Phillip deserved any treats, especially with the way he was carrying about. Troian tried to ignore the other curious shoppers gazing their way and she knelt down herself, picking up Phillip's flailing figure and ignoring how he jerked in her arms. 'Just buy him the coloring book', Troian mouthed to Kendall. She wasn't going to be so cruel as to deny Phillip a present when Sophia got one but she wasn't going to give it to him when he was behaving so rudely. He had to learn that making a scene and screaming at the top of his lungs wasn't the way to get what he wanted. "C'mon, we're going outside." She didn't even flinch as Phillip wailed and kept one hand on the back of his neck as she walked out of the store and to a side bench. "Is somebody tired?" She asked, wiping Phillip's tears away and pressing her lips together as her son shouted that she was mean and he didn't like her. "I know. That's okay. We're going to go back and take a nap when Aunt Kenny gets out, okay? I think somebody's sleepy."

Kendall: Kendall nodded at Troian's words and watched them as the actress took her son out before she stood up again checking up on Sophia. They picked a coloring book for her brother but that wasn't quite what Kendall had in mind so she added a big box of coloring pencils to her purchase. It's not that she wanted to go against Troian nor would she dare but she figured her friend could give that to her son later when he apologizes and sees he was wrong. After waiting for two people to pay their things, it was Kendall's turn and she noticed a small Milan souvenirs display so she chose a magnet and a miniature replica of the cathredal for Troian to take home. As she paid and got out, she saw her friend with Phillip on the bench. "Hey you two, ready to go back?" She asked watching the little boy carefully hoping that his worst tantrum has passed or they'd be in for a long night.

Troian continued sitting with Phillip on the bench, rocking him back and forth slowly in her lap. He was getting too big to be treated like a baby but this motion seemed to soothe him. His wails had quieted to soft whimpers and sniffles, his face still bright red as evidence from the fit he had just pulled. When she heard shoes clicking on the pavement, Troian looked up to see Kendall and Sophia headed towards them with bags in Kendall's hand. She smiled, knowing her friend probably had gone above and beyond. She wasn't mad; that was just the way Kendall operated, and her heart was so big. "Yep," she replied easily, and stood up with Phillip still clinging around her neck like a monkey. "He's just tired. And once he gets some sleep, he's going to apologize to his Aunt Kenny for being so rude." She pressed a kiss to her son's head and held onto him as they walked back to the hotel. "What'd you end up getting?"

Kendall: It made Kendall sad to see Phillip like this but he was just a kid still and she couldn't hold it against him, he wasn't used to jetlag like her so it hit him bad. She just wanted for him to feel better. When she heard Troian's question, the model bit on her lower lip caught in the act. "I got someone a big box of coloring pencils along with a coloring book, some dressed for Soph's doll and the mommy got a magnet and little replica of the cathredal" She looked at him with puppy eyes to plead for mercy. The hotel was close so before they knew it they were back waiting for the elevator. "Are you hungry?" Kenny looked over at her friend as the night was still so young and it didn't have to end just because the little boy wasn't feeling good. "You feelin' better big guy?"

Troian chuckled as she heard Kendall lay out all that she had bought. "It sounds like we're very lucky to know Aunt Kendall," she smiled at Kendall and rubbed Phillip's back as he remained silent. "I think so. I'm going to lay him down and then we can order room service and watch a movie?" It wasn't quite the partying maybe the model was used to, but these were just how nights with toddlers went. Sophia didn't seem to be sleepy, just very engrossed with pushing her doll in everybody's faces to give them a kiss on the cheek and Troian reached out to tug at her foot too when the elevator doors opened. As they walked back to their room, Phillip finally spoke up. "Sorry Aunt Kendall," he said in a small voice and Troian's heart glowed with pride. Maybe he wasn't having the best day but at least her son knew when to apologize. That was one thing she could pride herself and Keegan on.

Kendall: "Sounds great, I haven't had a quite night in in a long time, I'd love to do that with you" Kendall smiled, wellcoming the change with her whole heart. To just spend one night with her friend was just what she needed. As they entered the room, Kenny put the girl down letting her wander around after she took off her jacket and went to take hers off too. Phillip's apology caught her surprised but also brought a big smile to her face. "Can Aunt Kenny get a hug too?" She crouched in front of him opening her arms, happy when he nodded and slowly walked closer hugging her. Those were the moments she loved the most, she didn't need expensive things, just knowing people cared about her and liked having her in their lives was enough for the model. "Aunt Kenny love you, she always will. Even when you're not on your best behavior" She nodded at him kissing his cheek before letting him go over to his mom. "What do you want me to order?"

Troian was slipping off her shoes when she saw Phillip hug Kendall, and her smile widened. It might not have been a smooth afternoon but at least it wasn't ending horribly. She sank down onto the bed and pulled Sophia up so that she could be resting in the middle. "Order everything," she waved her hand flippantly and then fell backwards onto the bed. "I need a shower," she spoke to no one in particular and then sat back up. "Alright, Philly. Let's give you a bath and then you can go to sleep." She picked Phillip up once more and carried him over to the bathroom, ready to just relax and unwind with one of her best friends and with whatever sappy movie they could find on television.

#p:ma

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adotandaline · 8 years ago

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What I Read in January

January, apart from being a very long month, also brought a good amount of reading material with itself. When I have a shitload of work to get done and sit infront of the computer pretty much ten to twelve hours a day, the only thing that keeps me sane is investing my free time in stories about lives very much different from my own.

Trust me, the amount of books that I read this month (given that one of them was a 950 pages long opus) is quite much even for me, though there’s no denying it, I’ve always read a lot. I stumbled upon two young adult novels (one being the follow up of the first one) David Levithan’s Every day and Another day, an old friend, the second book of the Harry Potter series, this time the one illustrated by the amazing Jim Kay, a book that has been sitting on my shelf for over two years, The secret life of bees by Sue Monk Kidd, and a book that I’ve been meaning to read since I finished last autumn another book by the author: The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt.

The one thing that links them all is that - strangely enough - they are all very good novels. Each in a different way tells an engaging story and are a piece of literature that is worth reading. Most of the time only every second or even every third book I read is one that I would recommend to someone else and I’m not actually sure that I am recommending these now only because I read them at the right time (but if that’s the case, isn’t that the sole purpose of storytellying, to tell the right story to the right person at the exact moment they need to hear it? It’s likely that there will be some of you reading this who needs to find one of these novels at this very moment too.)

On to the subject in order of reading:

Harry Potter is a story I - like many others - revisited countless times. I got the second part of the illustrated series as a Christmas present from my mother but didn’t get around to read it until this year, and gosh, if this book is not an unbearable visual joy for you to read than there is officially something wrong with you. Even if you don’t like the Harry Potter books, for whatever reason, please go, pick up a copy of this book next time you are at a bookshop. and just sneak a peek inside. This art should be framed and put out in a gallery for everyone to see (I so hope that there will be once a travelling exhibition of the originals). The illustrations are playful, detailed and did an amazing job at reimaging this world worshipped by so many of us. Jim Kay captured each character of the story with such excelency that I am dumbfounded by the work he’s done. The techniqes he uses are diverse and selected perfectly for each picture, and though in the first book at some points the logic of where the images are placed in the text is questionable, they figured it all out for the second one. My personal favourite is the reverse painting technique he uses when paiting ghosts or other semitransparent objects (and as it is hard to pick just one, the minuscule presentation of the Diagon Alley is just hands down insane.) I honestly can’t and won’t say a single bad thing about these illustrations, I simpy feel grateful that this book exists and I envy Jim Kay’s paiting abilities to death.

On to the next one, The Secret Life of Bees was a book I borrowed from a friend years back and kept putting it off to give it back because I really wanted to read it, I just didn’t feel like it was the right time. Now that I did, I’m glad that I’ve trusted my insticts, this to be read at a time when I was still just sorting out in myself a lot of the issues that this book revolves around, would have been a possible disaster. Now it rather feels like reassurence in something I didn’t even know I needed to be reassured in. These issues being: in the center of the novel there is a father-daughter relationship which’s dynamics are complicated and ultimately damaged by tragedy, loss and end in a long and fearful journey to find a possibility of happiness. Coming of age, womenhood, 1960′s in South Carolina are just the top of the iceberg here, it brings you deep in to the life of women at a time and place when being female and the color of your skin still put a mark on you in society. Here’s the thing: I consider myself a feminist but never did a single thing to make a change. I just accepted that luckily I live in a modern capital and surrounded by a higher part of society where 99% of the time nobody would ever make me feel less of a person because I am a woman. In fact, I am so equal, that the only time I think about my womenhood is when I’m menstruating.

Sue Monk Kidd tells a story in which women of all shapes and sizes, colors and ages come together and form a family not defined by blood but by the single feeling that I feel like we, the lucky girls of the modern ages tend to forget about: that man might be stronger than us in there physical form, but we, woman, with centuries of emotional abuse coded in our DNA have a legacy of being mentally stronger than any men can ever be. And this legacy is passed down, generation to generation by woman themselves. And I, still the lucky child of the modern ages, consider it narcicistic to be proud of something like this. But in fact, this book made me feel so damn proud. (And also made me think a lot about my mother and my grandmother and the fact that even with all their flaws, all the things worth knowing in life I’ve learned from them.) I realized: I am already making a change simply by being proud to be a woman.

The next book I read was David Levithan’s Every day. Previously I have read a story by him in the Christmas collection of short stories, My true love gave to me and his take on the story in Let it snow (co-written by Maureen Johnson and John Green, about whom I think I fangirled enough already). Those of you who know me also know that even though I should have grown out of them a while back I never stopped reading young adult fiction. When in doubt, I read YA. Many of my go to authors are those who write about teenagers. If I would ever write a book it would be about teenagers. Please keep it in mind that everything I tell about this book is within the bounderies of its own genre, which I love, and if you don’t, that’s okay, just skip to the next paragraph because probably there is nothing in here for you. This is a tale of a young soul who does not have a body. But he posses one, so to say, every day. Each new day A wakes up in the body of somebody else, he is aware of the body’s life, as a background story in his head, but he takes full control of that life for one single day. This could be good material for an award winning piece of fiction in many other genres, but of course, this is just a love story. And a very good one. I love teenage love stories because I found that it’s harder not to write an actually true and kind story when the people involved are still basicly children, having kids as protagonists saves you from becoming one in the crowd of Norah Roberts. It’s narrated in its entirity from A, the protagonists perspective, each day a new chapter. It is written in an easy to read yet not simplified style, the story evolves based on great plot devices, it never gets boring to read. Although it is, in fact, a very straight line from beginning to end, as it happens in YA world most of the time. It’s enjoyable, intriguing, makes you think outside of a box and leaves you with a perfect finishing touch. The next novel, is kind of like a sequel to the story, it is the very same narrative, but told from the perspective of the girl, Rhiannon. Though it’s telling the same story, even though I read it two days after finishing the first one, I never felt not invested enough to continue, instead I was glad I was able to step back to a world I grow to love. Don’t get mistaken, these are not light reading material. They drive you through a world in which the rules of a normal existence are questioned and at some point even put out of sight, which makes you think about more than you would expect from it at the beginning.

Then for the last one remains the best one: The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. Tartt had me at her first novel, The secret history and I did not let her go ever since. The only, very down to earth reason for which I did not read The Goldfinch before was because being a 950 page masterpiece, this book is not cheap. In fact, if you want to read the original, it’s freaking expensive, and I don’t like to read books of this length on a kindle. But eventually I gave up and after reading about 30% of the ebook in one sitting (mind you, that’s about four hours worth of reading) I sat down and made an order of a copy online, though I finished the ebook before it could have arrived, plus, bookdepository canceled my order claiming the book being out of stock. Nevermind. I am going to buy one, and read it again then possibly lend it to every single person I consider a friend in my life.

This story had a magnetic pull on me, I couldn’t escape it, I’m under the impression that I never will; that this is going to be a centerpiece on my literary adventure, Theo will be right by the side of Franny, Zooey, Camille, Vianne (just to mention the greatest of the already quite illustrious lot).

It is the story of a boy, Theo Decker, narrated by himself, from childhood to adulthood. A coming of age story of sorts, but as if written by Bret Easton Ellis and tamed by someone with a remaining sense of reality. (Fun fact: this is not even a far fetch, they went to school together and are friends ever since, but I did not know this at the time I read the book.) Without giving away too much, the narrative’s main device is the painting from the title, The Goldfinch, a 17th century masterpiece. The story goes round and comes back every now and then (in a way you would never expect it) to this very piece of art and it’s acting as a the tool that showcases the possibility of immortality.

I’m going to borrow a line that I read online in a review: this story covers a lot of ground, and does it with no shortcuts. Everything has a such strikingly real dimension that at times you feel like you are in a matrix, you left your reality for the real reality. Art, beauty, immortality, strangness, drugs, Dostoyevsky, Las Vegas, New York, Amsterdam, the way people are connected in ways you never imagine possible, yet so believable, memory, possibillity, yes, all the clichés you can imagine rolled in to one, put under a new, mesmerizing light, coming from a new, forever rising sun. The descriptions, the style of writing (a wonder!), the pacing, how every single element comes and goes and at the end finds its well designed place.

Precisely the lack of shortcuts is the thing that will probably keep some of you away from this book. But trust me on this: this story has its reason to be so long; every element, every single epigraph at the beginning of a chapter builds up to an end that is so thought through, so well written that honestly, it will blow your mind away with its beauty. I do think that the last chapter of this novel is the most beautiffuly written thing I have ever read, and I don’t say something like this carelessly. It’s not what happens. It’s the how. It’s the how it is told.

I know that this was a really long post and I realized by now that I probably should have cut this up, and post shorter texts about each book, but as this was written as a single thought process, long as it is, it’s going to stay like this. Chances are I lost some of you on the road, but those of you who remained until the end, thank you for staying.

And now, let’s go read some more!

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benjfen · 6 years ago

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Lonely Boy || March 1997

Benjy’s arm itches in the sling, and he’s annoyed that he has to wear it for a few more days ‘just to be safe.’ He can’t do any of his exercises now, so he’s just stuck watching daytime TV and having a series of nurses turn him over and move his legs and arms around. It was only eighty percent degrading, and Benjy was finally at the point where this whole thing was just annoying. He’s bored, bored as hell. He moves the tray connected to the bed back and forth, back and forth, staring at the phone. He’d been calling Lolo every night after her shift ended and Shay went to bed, but it was currently 2 in the afternoon. She’d be busy, there was no one to keep him entertained...except…

Benjy’s punches the numbers in easily but the voice at the other end surprises him.

“Hello?”

“Hey Mare, it’s Benjy.”

“Oooooh human swiss cheese. How goes it?”

Benjy laughs. Mary is Moody’s wife, but she was close to Benjy’s age. She’d actually been an informant for narcotics during the brief time that Benjy was on that squad, and she’d been able to turn her life around after the rehab they had sent her to. They’d stayed friends, strictly so. Mary had met up with Benjy and Moody a many times after their shifts at a pub, drunk solely water, and stolen Moody’s heart. They’d gotten married last year, and Benjy was absolutely not allowed to wear a sash that had said ‘the catalyst for love’ even though it was true.

“I’m sore and bored. Is Al around? I was going to sequester is company.”

“Er…”

“What?”

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this because it’s definitely going to bum you out...but Al’s back at work.”

“Oh.”

She was right, Benjy was decidedly bummed out. That was something Al got to do, something Benjy himself would never be able to do again.

“Shit.”

“No, no Mare, it’s okay. I’m just surprised, that fast?”

“Mmmhm. He was driving me up a fucking tree puttering around here, so I encouraged it. He’s in a sling and on desk duty and thrilled out of his mind as I’m sure you can imagine.”

Benjy takes a minute to imagine his partner, angrily chain smoking and cursing out his sling and anyone who walked too close to his desk for good measure.

“Oh I can imagine. Well, are you busy?”

“I mean, you’d be interrupting my schedule of being pregnant and miserable, so I think I could fit you in.”

“Pregnant?!”

“Oh...shit yeah, Al said he didn’t get around to telling you given everything... but yeah, mate. We’re having a kid. Isn’t that wild?”

For a split second heart aches with jealousy for their life, with sorrow for the life he wouldn’t be able to have now, thanks to the useless limbs he’s forced to look at day in and day out. He shakes himself, and the joy he genuinely feels for his friends fills him.

“Holy shit. I’m so happy for you guys.”

“Yeah, everyone is. It’s so fucking cool and scary and exciting And I mean, having a baby inside of you is a really good motivator to never want to do heroin ever again, it’s crazy.”

Benjy laughs.

“I suppose I’ll keep that in mind if these pain killers become a bit too tempting….oh, hey, not being a jackass, but uh, would coming here be okay for you?”

“Yeah mean seeing all those drugs?”

“...yeah.”

“I’ll manage somehow, arsehole. Be worth it to see you, anyhow. That was super rude of you, by the way?”

Benjy’s eyebrows come together in worry.

“I’m sorry, I’m just trying to look out-”

“Not that. Almost dying. That’s incredibly rude. Don’t do it again.”

Benjy laughs softly.

“I’ll do my best.”

“Good.”

“Hey Mary? Before you come here could you do me a favor?”

“You mean other than blessing you with my presence?”

“In addition to that, I need you to swing by my apartment and grab a few things….”

“Hey bitch.” Mary greets him, grinning, as she enters the room, holding two duffel bags he recognizes from his apartment. Benjy sees a tiny bit of a baby bump poking out of her long floral dress, and she’s swept her long black hair into a bun at the base of her neck. It must be warm out today, rare for March, and Benjy desperately wishes he could go outside.

“Hi trouble.”

Mary dumps the bags at the door and crosses to his bed. She’d seen him briefly when Al had still been admitted but Benjy hadn’t really been up to talking then. She bends and kisses his cheek, and Benjy is reminded what a true platonic kiss feels like.

“Nice to see you got over being catatonic.”

Benjy laughs.

“Yeah I had a pretty convincing and dedicated nurse.”

“Oh, Cleona? Heard she’s cute too.”

Benjy gives her a look.

“No idea what you’re talking about.

“Sure. So, I brought you some clothes. And I hid all your porno mags so if you need to send your new girlfriend over for something, she won’t find all your gay shit and leave you.”

Benjy rolls his eyes as Mary crosses the room to get his clothes out and put in the wardrobe in the room.

“Okay first of all, she’s not my girlfriend, and secondly, she knows about me being bi.”

Mary raises an eyebrow. She and Al both knew but they were honestly the only two people in his life currently who did.

“Really?”

“It’s not a secret, Mare. I just don’t advertise it at work. Not that there’s any work to worry about now anyway so…”

“Okay, drama queen. Here.”

She throws a sweatshirt at him and he catches it with his unslung arm.

“Thanks. I’ll lay this across my chest dramatically.”

“Oh.” Mary actually looks embarrassed. “I uh-forgot. Sorry. You just still seem like you.”

“I am still me. Just bloody useless at everything.”

She crosses to him and expertly starts removing the white lost and found t shirt carefully over his head.

“Hush. You’ll get your strength back. In the meantime, I’m doing this for Al too. It’s honestly good practice for the baby, so thank you.”

Benjy groans, not thrilled with being compared to an infant.

“Thanks for that.”

“Anytime.”

Satisfied, Benjy looks down and smiles at the London PD sweatshirt she’d put him in. It feels nice to be back in his own clothes. Normal. Safe. Mary grabs the second duffel bag and drops it next to the side of Benjy’s bed with a loud thunk.

“Now this bloody thing, making my pregnant arse drag a stereo and tape collection around London? You better have a good reason.”

Benjy’s eyes light up as she sets everything down on his bedside table.

“Thank youuuu. Lolo made me a mix tape and her birthday is next week so I want to make her- What?!”

Mary is grinning at him in a very annoying way.

“Nothing. She sounds like a great friend.”

“Piss off, MacDonald.”

“No, I’m being serious. I always make my friends mixtapes.”

She settles herself on the edge of his bed, near his legs. It’s still so weird to him that he can’t feel the heat of her body next to him, or weight of her beside him.

“Shut up. She made it with her kid and they gave it to me when they came to see me last week.”

“She brought her kid? Damn.” She looks over at him significantly.

“What? Mary. She’s not interested in me. She never went home with me before I was a fucking broken pile of shit. Why would she want me now?”

Mary shakes her head, hand instictively going to her little belly.

“God, you know, I always thought boys would stop being fucking morons when I got older. Thanks for proving me wrong, Benjy.”

He sets his jaw, actually getting annoyed now.

“Look, if you’re just going to sit there and call me names you can go.”

“You deserve to be called names! She likes you, idiot. She might even be in love with you. Not going home with someone doesn’t mean you’re not interested, it means you’re being...careful. Maybe she’s insecure about if she’d be good enough for you.”

“Pssh. Right.”

“Don’t you spend every weekend in her bar getting women to go home with you?”

“Did. Past tense. No one wants to fuck the guy in the wheelchair.”

“Oooh pity party. Fun. Point is, Fenwick, she might have shit going on that doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

“Impossible, everything has to do with me.”

Mary smiles and when Benjy’s good hand reaches for hers, she takes it. Benjy takes a deep breath in.

“Can I tell you a secret, Mary?”

Her brown eyes get bigger. “Anything.”

“I like her.”

She raises an eyebrow.

“Who?”

He sighs and gives her a look.

“Cleona. I like her a lot.”

“Mmhm.”

“I might even...no it’s too stupid to say. But how could I even ask her to give up so much for me? Even just dating me puts her in such a weird position. She’s a single mum, a student, she doesn’t need my literal dead weight dragging her down.”

“Have you asked her?”

“What?”

Mary leans back against his legs, both hands on her belly now, the dark skin of her hands standing out brilliantly against the colorful flowers. Benjy studies her face as she turns to look at him.

“Have you asked her?”

“Asked her what?”

“Asked her if she’d be willing to do that. Give up being ‘normal’ to be with you.”

Benjy shakes his head and Mary raises an eyebrow yet again. “You’re afraid she’ll say no?”

“Mary. I’m afraid she’ll say yes. And I can’t do that to her.”

Mary studies him, silent, looking suddenly older, wise. Benjy starts to squirm under her gaze, and finally gets agitated enough to ask “What?”

“You’re really stupidly noble, aren’t you?”

He sighs and shakes his head, looking away.

“I just want her to be happy. I won’t ever-I can’t make her happy in the way she deserves. And-”

He’s surprised that his voice breaks. He sniffs loudly before shaking his head again.

“Just forget it. Please?”

“Okay.”

He watches as Mary squeezes his leg, forgetting herself, but Benjy doesn’t say anything about it.

“Mare, uh, I really appreciate you coming all this way but I think-I need to be alone right now.”

“Of course.”

He’d been expecting a bigger argument, but she just smiles at him softly.

“Take care of yourself, you big idiot. I love you lots.”

She stands and hugs what parts of him she can, and Benjy hugs her back.

“I’ll try. Also if you don’t name that baby after me, I’ll be pissed.”

Mary narrows her eyes at him.

“What if it’s a girl?”

“Benjamina is a beautiful name.”

Mary laughs and presses a quick kiss to his forehead before getting up and heading to the door.

“I’ll keep it in mind. And Benjy?”

“Yeah?”

“I think you should ask her. For the record.”

“I’ll keep it in mind.”

Mary shakes her head at him, smiling.

“Fair. I’ll have Al call you tonight. Maybe we’ll come by when he’s off?”

“I’d like that.”

“Okay. Bye, Benjy.”

“Bye Mare.”

She leaves without any more fanfare, and Benjy pulls the collection of cassettes that Mary had brought him onto his lap to start looking. He’d had Cleona’s mix on repeat since she’d left him that first night, and he wanted to give her one that would do it justice. He’s examining one of his Queen cassettes to see if it’s the one with “Liar” on it when he hears a knock at his door. It’s one of the nurses whose name he can’t ever remember.

“Hey, Mr. Popular. Someone else is here to see you. Thought I’d double check to make sure you were expecting another guest.”

Benjy’s heart leaps into his throat. Graham had found him again.

“Who?”

The nurse shrugs.

“Uh, older guy, a bit scruffy? I can go ask…?”

Benjy smiles. Graham had never been described as scruffy in his entire life. It had to be Al, maybe Mary called him earlier and told him to swing by.

“No, it should be fine. Probably a friend from work.”

The nurse leaves and Benjy focuses on his tapes, glancing up casually when he hears someone come in, but he stops to stare. The man hovering in his doorway certainly wasn’t Alastor Moody, but there was something familiar about him that Benjy couldn’t quite place.

“Um...hello?”

“Hello. Are you-” The man’s accent is posh. He looks older the longer Benjy looks at him. Benjy finds his call button, suddenly feeling helpless again. Time to make Keith fuck someone up. “Are you Benjamin Fenwick?”

“....maybe. Who are you?”

“Was your mother named Samira?”

Benjy’s blood runs cold, he knows what the man is going to say next.

“My name is Robert. And I think I’m your father.”

#drabble #fear fear fear fear

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chrichri-chan-18-love · 4 years ago

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Omegas don’t bow (Yandere Alpha Katsuki Bakugou x Female Omega Reader x Yandere Alpha Izuku Midoriya) Part 10

The tension began rising as insticts took over. The two Alphas were stripping you off your clothes while trying to mark you... key word, “tried”. Neither was willing to back off nor allow the other one to get ahead of them. While you, were pretty much scanning the room for a pill to subdue your lewd and primal insticts. It wasn’t easy and the scents of both Katsuki and Izuku were making it all the more difficult to form clear thoughts. Suddenly an idea came to your mind, using your quirk, you forced a small stuffed bunny to exit the room with your wallet and go get a new bottle of pills... as long as you could form even the tiniest thought, you could use your quirk... in an instant you literally imagined the bunny flying in a magic carpet... you were positive your quirk was activated as you tried to move away from the horny Alphas.

“ (Name)... you shouldn’t make such sudden movements.” Katsuki growled, pressing his erection on your ass... he was hard, he was horny and he was getting to you... and you liked it.

“ Don’t scold her! She’s always kept control of her situations.” Izuku said, seconds before his lips went to crook of your neck.You bit your lower lip, all in an effort to make sure you wouldn’t moan.

“Stop... we have to stop.” You managed to say and both looked at you, for a moment neither spoke... however seconds later, your heard something zip... or rather, unzip. With a quick glance, you saw that both of them had their cocks out and you looked away, blushing as you got even more excited at the idea of them in you. Hell, that’s what you hated about yourself... or rather, your status as an Omega.

“Can you help us?” Izuku asked and you looked at him surprised. His eyes were filled with lust and desire, you also saw something like obsession in them... for Gods sake, it almost looked like he had hearts in his eyes, the vibrant red of his cheeks made him look cute and made you feel guilt at the knowledge that you had done this.

“You can at least, make sure we are no longer eager to breed you.” Katsuki said, his tone was deep, rough and you could tell that he was barely holding himself back. Slowly, you reached out and grabbed their erections, gently rubbing both of them at the same time. They both moaned, clearly enjoying the attention.

“Oh god!!! This is so good!!!” Izuku moaned as you slowly created a pace... as embarassing as it was, you liked the fact that you actually controlled two Alpha males. They were willing to let you take charge and that was, in all honesty, appealing and impressive. Suddenly, Katsuki came closer, you looked into his eyes before meeting his lips in a feverish kiss, he was rough and passionate, his mouth aggressively trying to dominate yours, tongues battling each other... the kiss ended suddenly when Izuku licked the shell of your ear, in a silent complain. You turned to him and he gently placed his lips on yours, he was shy, almost afraid to continue, however once your tongue touched his for a minute, he became almost as passionate as Katsuki.

Speaking of the blonde, he was reaching his limit as your hand kept pumping in a fast, steady rythm. Both males came almost at the same time, groaning loudly as they hit their hights... and as you let go of their cocks, you saw the stuffed rabbit enter in a flying carpet and three bottles of pills.

“When did you use your quirk? Or rather... how?” Katsuki asked in desbelief. He was positive that your insticts would have taken you over completely, he knew your quirk and what it demanded of you. So the fact that during all that, you were able to form some sort of thought and keep it going all the way, was quite impressive.

“Because she’s (Name). It’s only natural for her to be this amazing, you should know this by now Kacchan.” Izuku said as he composed himself. Katsuki shot a glare at Izuku and growled.

“ Of course I know it, you fucking nerd. But I doubt that the image you have in that stupid head of yours is anywhere near her true glory.” He said as he too composed himself. you left them arguing in favor of finally taking that god damned medicine, you took one pill and swallowed it... you slowly a breath and closed your eyes. Your head was still a foggy mess but the pill was already taking action, your once heavy panting was gone, the temperature of your body began to drop and the scent of the two Alphas was slowly loosing it’s previous attraction.

“Guys... I think you should go, I’m fine now.” You said and both stopped arguing, their gazes returning to you, they immediately took notice of how your scent changed and how you looked more like your usual self.

“Sorry... for everything.” Izuku said and you sighed.

“ That was my fault, you two didn’t cause me to go to heat. If anything, the one who’s sorry is me.” You said and both clearly didn’t like the idea that you were blaming yourself for something natural. Sure, they wanted to ravish you but they didn’t want you to feel guilty about things like that.

“Well, we could have had better self control ourselves. It’s not entire your freaking fault.” Katsuki said and you chuckled.

“Thanks... but seriously, you should go. My parents will be here tonight and I don’t think they’ll be happy to see you both here.” You said and the two boys recalled how scary your father was, despite being a Beta.

“See you at school, then.” Izuku said as the two males left your room, feeling slightly annoyed by the fact that they couldn’t stay longer with you but they were mostly happy for the experience of seeing you in such a lewd state and receiving a hand job too. Although, they still had a long way to go before their greatest wish became a reality, before their existence, became your only reality.

#yandere #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugou #bnha #alpha-omega au #Female reader #R-18 #fanfic

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bexcsx · 8 years ago

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more than words ✗Bex,Rocco&Lake ✗

Rocco: As promised earlier on during the day as the sun began to set Rocco made his way down to the bar area to meet his best friend, Remus had met a cute blonde during the day and was apparently hooked on Greys anatomy so there was no way he had to worry about seeing him for a while and instead could focus on Lake. Having been a member for so long now as soon as he was in the room a drink was slid his way and he fell into easy conversation with the bar tender. "..Yea man I'm married." Rocco grinned as he showed of his ring before the bar tender nodded over his head. "This the lucky man? He teased as Rocco looked back to see Lake arriving. "Oh he wishes, but no Lake here is my best bud and tonight I'm going to set him up."

Lake: Lake walked downstairs to the bar, dreading hanging out with his best friend tonight. He of course loved spending time with him, but he had a feeling that Rocco would try and find him someone at the bar tonight which was the last thing Lake wanted. But he also knew it would be suspicious to act put off by it. When he heard the bartender ask if he was the lucky man, Lachlan wrapped his arms around Rocco's waist from behind and kissed his cheek, "He sure is lucky," he joked before pulling away and standing next to him, rolling his eyes as he said that he was going to set him up tonight, "I can get girls on my own, thank you very much."

Bex: After taking a night swim with a couple of her girlfriends, Bex saw Rocco and Lake from the corner of her eye as she was coming back to the resort; deciding to make a quick detour and say hi. She was still wearing her bikini, but had a rather see-through shirt over it when she waltzed her way towards the two guys, placing her one arm around her brother, and one around his best friend. "Hey dorks, what's up?" she beamed.

Rocco: Felling Lake wrap his arms around him Rocco smirked and lent back a second. "For a starters he is no where near tall enough and he isn't as gorgeous." Rocco taunted him back with a scoff. "You can't get your own girl for shit or you would have done it already..."He trailed off as he felt another arm wound around him. "Well hey to you to." Rocco beamed at his sister leaning over to kiss her cheek. "I am going to set Mr Lachlan here up on a date tonight."

Lake: "Damn, make me insecure, why don't you?" he replied as he ordered a drink from the bar. Lachlan just shook his head at his friend's words, wanting nothing more than to tell him that he already had his own girl. "Hey you," he smiled down at Bex as she wrapped her arm around them. He tried to give Bex a look when Rocco said that he was setting him up, hoping the Bex trusted him enough that he wouldn't let anything happen.

Bex: At the mention of setting Lake up with somebody, Bex's smile somewhat faltered whenever she wanted it or not; letting out a small laugh. "Set him up? What is he like, sixteen or something?" she asked, looking over at him as he shot her a look; her jaw slightly clenching, clearly showcasing that she /wasn't/ fond of the idea.

Rocco: "Don't worry you're a little pretty." Rocco assured him before he sipped on his own drink, raising his brow at his sisters response slightly as she turned to look at his best friend. "Well no - but he is on summer vacation now and no doubt you'll be busy causing trouble and I'm going to have Remus and I just want him to have some fun."

Lake: "I'm a lot pretty," he glared at him before the bartender brought over his drink and he took a large sip of it, unable to handle this conversation at the moment. "I don't need a hook up to have fun, you know? I'm not sixteen. I have other ways to preoccupy my time," he joked.

Bex: "Exactly." Bex was quick to agree with Lake, averting her gaze from him and back onto her brother, giving him a quick nod - and somehow hoping the subject would be put to rest. Of course, it wasn't. "- besides, where is this imaginary woman you'd set him up with? There's no one here that is worth his time." she continued on, letting out another chuckle, and hoping she was sounding as playfully as she tried to be.

Rocco: Maybe it was the fact they had both spent so long denying him when he wanted them to be together that he was some how missing the signs that were currently right in front of him. "Maybe I just want every one to find the one and be happy as I am. Also - I was thinking Maria, you know the girl who comes to family parties too sometimes, she's quiet, nice, she probably just needs a guy like Lake to bring her out of her shell."

Lake: "A guy like me?" he asked raising an eyebrow. "What kind of guy am I exactly?" he asked, trying to bring the subject away from Maria, not wanting to make Bex anymore uncomfortable and not wanting to have to continue to stay in the awkward conversation.

Bex: Ignoring the subject altogether was something she should've done without a doubt, but couldn't - especially when the name was being mentioned. "Maria?" she repeated, her brows knitting for a moment as she briefly took a glance over at Lake as he spoke, before it went back on her brother; only to notice the said-woman sitting a few tables away with her friends. "- /that/ Maria?" she asked, raising her finger to point in her direction.

Rocco: "Yea, a nice guy you know, I mean I know I'm one of the rich guys here but a lot of them are assholes." Rocco shrugged as he sipped on his drink again before he followed his sisters gaze to the small rather pretty blonde girl. "Yeap that one, she was your friend last year right? Maybe you could get her to come over?"

Lake: "That is true," he nodded his head, agreeing with his friend there. He followed both of their gazes over to a group of girls. "No, Bex. You really don't have to do that. Let's just drink, have fun, you know, no pressure here," he said feeling more and more awkward as the time went on.

Bex: Bex gulped at the idea; for a moment remaining tongue-tied over the matter of her going over to set him up. She didn't know her way out of it; rather than lie. "She's not my friend anymore." Bex told her brother, hoping it would mean she wouldn't have to go over, that /nobody/ would have to go over.

Rocco: "Oh okay." Rocco nodded, truth be told that was enough for him and meant Maria was off of the list, if Bex didn't like her then for whatever reason neither did Rocco but that didn't mean he was going to give up. "Oh I've got it! Rachel! Yes I heard she's single this year and way up for some fun."

Lake: Lake looked back to the bartender, requesting a shot. As soon as it was brought to him, he downed it quickly before turning back to them. "Alright, who is she?" he asked, knowing that Rocco wasn't going to back off until he gave in to the idea of meeting someone. No matter how much he didn't want to, he had to play along to get him to stop. He could only hope that Bex understood and he looked over at her guilty, wanting her to know he wasn't actually going to act on anything.

Bex: Biting on the inside of her cheek, Bex gave the whole situation a small shrug, acting completely indifferent when in reality she was slowly started to boil inside. "Whatever. I need a drink," she announced, walking away from them only a couple of steps to lean against the bar, requesting a strong coctail.

Rocco: As soon as his bestfriend agreed Rocco gave a small fist pump and looked around the bar before he spotted her in a white dress with her own group of friends. "There she is and she won't stop looking your way man, get in there." Rocco beamed slapping him on the shoulder before he called after Bex. "I could have gotten that for you>"

Lake: "Told you I'm pretty," he joked as he smiled back at Rocco. "I'm not going over there by myself, that's weird. She's with her friends. I'm sure if she was really that interested, she would come over here."

Bex: Bex waved off her brother's comment, flashing him a quick smile to showcase she was fine by the bar alone, grabbing her drink and instantly taking a few sips from the straw; taking out her phone in the process. She pretended like she was doing something meaningful on there; like texting, when in reality she was just absent-mindedly scrolling down her instagram feed, checking their actions from the corner of her eye.

Rocco: "Fine then, I can come with you and then we can play off how I'm married now and of the market but you're just as good quality and then I can bail come back here to speak to Bex and you'll be in there right?" Rocco beamed as he stood up clearly proud of the plan he had come up with like an oblivious hcild

Lake: "Sure, whatever," he shrugged, as he moved in the direction of the girls with his best friend, knowing that as soon as Rocco left, Lake would too. There was no way he was actually going to do anything with this girl but he knew Rocco wouldn't give up unless he made it seem like he was interested.

Bex: Bex knitted her brows a little as she saw the two of them depart in another direction; until realising the /true/ direction they were heading to. Her jaw clenched almost instictively upon the sight as she watched them go have a talk with the girls; taking another long sip of her drink as she continued eying them like a jealous girlfriend from the bar. She knew she was probably acting completely insane; and that she had no reason to be jealous because he was, in fact, a /free/ man, but she couldn't help herself. She was fumming.

Rocco: Rocco grinned as he easily slid himself into the conversation between the girls, even married charm was a natural thing for the Collins man and he made no waste of time in pulling Lake in. "Now I may be taken ladies but don't fret because this year I brought you a gift as a consolation prize, I mean he's sexy right?" Rocco grinned as he pulled Lake closer to the group. "Rachel Lake, Lake Rachel...." He beamed sitting his friend down. "I'm going to go grab more drinks who wants?"

Lake: Lake sat down as Rocco made him, giving a smile to Rachel before smiling at all of the other girls at the table, giving them a wave. "I do," he said raising a hand as Rocco asked who wanted a drink. Knowing that he would need the drinks to continue coming if he was going to get through this nice. "It's nice to meet you," he smiled back at the girls as his friend went to get the drinks.

Bex: Bex continued to watch what was going on at the table, her grip on her glass tightening as she tried her best not to storm over there and yank that chick's hand off Lake's shoulder. Who did she think she is? Ignoring almost everything around her, for a moment Bex forgot she was still standing alone at the bar until a random stranger approached to give her one of the outmost cheesiest pick-up lines. Now, normally, she would've told him to fuck off, but given the fact that /Rachel/ was beginning to giggle and lean closer to /her/ man, Bex let out a laugh - tapping the man's chest. "oh, you're so cute!" she tried her best to beam at the man she simply wanted to punch in the face, turning her body to a side to face him more properly. "get me drunk and you can take me to your room," she told him, the man's eyes going wide before obeying. Obviously, she wasn't going through with the last part, but she knew what got people going if she wanted to use them.

Rocco: "Yes sir." Rocco beamed happily as he headed to the bar where he ordered a full round of drinks, catching his sisters eye Rocco rose a brow at her, clearly judging her new choice of companion who he gave a quick glare letting him know he would be watching before he headed back to the group with a big smile on his face at the sight of Rachel and Lake. "Well see now I knew you two would look good together didn't I?"

Lake: Lake chuckled at Rocco's words, trying to play along as he finished the rest of his drink quickly, looking behind his best friend to find Bex with another guy. Seeing her hand on his chest and her looking directly at this guy caused Lachlan to tense immediately, his jaw clenching as he glared over at the two. He looked back to the girl occasionally trying to keep a conversation going with her but his focus always ended back up on Bex.

Bex: From the corner of her eye, Bex could tell that Lake was watching, and it gave her a new set of satisfaction, knowing she was equally capable of causing him to boil up the same way she has been before. She knew him well enough by now to read his expressions, and from what it seemed, she had truly hit a spot - which kept her going on purpose as she placed a hand on the other guy's shoulder, pretending to laugh at his jokes. Truth was, she wasn't even listening to him half the time, he seemed and acted like an arrogant son of a bitch, and she'd rather die than to /actually/ hook up with him, but yet.. somehow he read her signs wrong, or maybe she was just that big of an actress, because the next thing she knew he was pushing her against the bar, sticking his tongue in her mouth.

Rocco: Rocco watched his best friend stare at Bex for a second but decided to brush it off, he was probably just as protective over her as Rocco was and so the male simply thought nothing of it, instead he found himself momentarily lost in conversation with a couple of the girls, giving details of his wedding as he hoped Lake was making some moves.

Lake: As soon as Lake saw this guy's lips on Bex's he wanted nothing more than to go over there and rip him off of her. But did he really have a right to do that? Technically, she wasn't his. Even though he considered her his, the secret between them caused too much confusion on exactly what their relationship meant. He couldn't sit there any longer and he definitely knew he couldn't go over there and beat the crap out of the guy for kissing his girl. Instead, Lachlan stood up angrily and stormed away from the table without a word and outside to get some air.

Bex: "Okay- okay, I said drunk, not one sip in-" Bex pushed the guy off, rolling her eyes and wipping off his gross saliva off her lips. "You do know you're disgusting, right? No girl with a shred of self respect would ever consider glancing your way, yet alone allow you to fucking drown her in your saliva. Gross." she continued on to insult the man, who was now clearly growing in a bright shade of red before he began insulting her right back. "Oh, grow some fucking balls and know when it's time for you to leave, jackass!" Bex shoved him, removing herself from the spot to walk over to the other side of the bar - only to notice that Lake wasn't even in the company of the girls - but neither was Rachel. Naturally, her mind went off to the worst possible scenario, and she could already see her sticking her tongue in him just like the guy did to her. "That son of a bitch," she spat before she could've stopped herself, placing her drink down with a loud thud.

Rocco: As soon as his bestfriend stood Rocco rose his head, watching him storm off in confusion before he looked back to where his sister was clearly in some sort of situation with the guy at the bar. He watched Lake glare at them as he walked away before he glanced back to his sister who was now clearly in a mood of her own as she slammed her drink down. Moving to find Lake Rocco rose his hands. "Do you want to tell me what the hell is going on with you? Your mood was find like 20 minutes ago!"

Lake: When Rocco came out after him, Lake turned around, the anger still very clear in him, "I told you I didn't want to fucking be set up with anyone! I didn't like her, okay? What's the big deal? I just had to get out of there," he replied trying his best to keep his anger down and act casual but he was sure that wasn't coming across at all.

Bex: When her brother left in a weird direction, Bex followed, it was an instict, but also triggered by curiousity, only to find him and Lake in a discussion. She stopped on her tracks, her jaw still clenced as she tried to think whenever or not to approach them as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Rocco: "Bullshit Lake." Rocco laughed as he looked back at his bestfriend crossing his arms over his chest as he did so. "I've been your bestfriend since middle school and you don't just loose your temper...you were fine until..." Rocco looked back at the bar only to find Bex hovering near by. "And she...what the fuck."

Lake: Lake ran his tongue over his lips as Rocco spoke, when he noticed Bex walk out of the bar, his focus turned to her. His eyes on her as his Rocco continued to speak, he didn't think he need to reply anymore.

Bex: Hearing Rocco's words, Bex froze, emotion wipped clean from her face for a couple of moments while her lips parted, her gaze locking to Lake's.

Rocco: Rocco took a step back so he could look at the two of them, his hands falling to his hips as he began to feel a lot like his mother looking back and forth at the two staring at each other. "How long?"

Lake: His hands reached up and ran over his face, "A few months," he answered his best friend. "Before the wedding," he added, knowing that Rocco would want him to be more specific. He knew there was no way they could hide it from him anymore and Lake didn't want to.

Bex: Bex looked over at her brother; who was at that point insanely reminding her of their mother, automatically taking a step forward until Lake replied for the both of them. "I-" she paused, for once in her life finding herself lost for words. She somewhat felt ashamed that her brother would find this out like this.

Rocco: "Why....why did you hide it from me?" There was a part of him that wanted to be thrilled for the two of them, he'd wanted them together ever since Bex had had her heart broken again and he decided she deserved a nice but all this time they had been lying. "You've just been what sneaking around?"

Lake: "It wasn't like that..." Lake replied running his fingers through his hair, knowing that he didn't necessarily want to hide it from his best friend. "It just happened like that. It just started happening and we didn't... no one knew. Literally no one..." he replied not knowing what else to say as he looked at Bex feeling guilty for hiding it from Rocco but also for outing them because his anger and jealousy got the best of him.

Bex: Bex kept silent through the entire time, still unsure why she felt so damn tongue-tied when there were a million things she could've said. "It was just sex-" she found herself blurring out the first thing that popped to her mind to defend herself, finally taking another step forward to her brother. Part of her knew this was an awful lie, but it certainly did start it that way.

Rocco: "That's supposed to make me feel better?" Rocco asked with a laugh as he turned to look at Bex as she spoke, before he rounded his gaze onto Lake. "I trusted you, you were my best - oh my god did you sleep together on my wedding day!"

Lake: Lachlan's jaw clenched at Bex's words, shocked by what she had just said. He raised an eyebrow, "Just sex? Seriously?" he asked her. "I'm sorry, I obviously fucked up. I guess I mistaken this for something more than it was. I meant no disrespect to you, I would never... I'm sorry. I'll leave you two alone," he replied as he back away from them.

Bex: "No, but-" she paused when Rocco continued, before her gaze flew over to Lake. She automatically felt guilty for her choice of words. She wanted to say she was stupid for chosing them, for saying something that clearly wasn't true - but his last words caused her to back off, anger and pride once again going through her veins. "Oh, there's no need for /you/ to leave, /I'll/ leave! I'm the one leaving /you/!" she spat after Lake angrily, emotions running high in her as she turned around and stormed off, throwing insults down her own chin.

Rocco: "Both of you stop right now." Rocco ordered as his respective friend and sister moved to march of in different directions. "I may be pissed as hell right now that whatever the fuck this is has happened and you lied about it - you kept it from me but that's all I'm mad about. Even though you two clearly have some shit to sort through I have always wanted the two of you to be a thing, so you're going to sit the fuck down and I'll leave."

Lake: "You aren't going anywhere either," Lachlan said rolling his eyes. "Let her go cool down and we'll just talk about it tomorrow. I fucked up, I shouldn't have even come to the bar tonight knowing that you wanted to hook me up with someone. Even though nothing happened."

Bex: Bex turned with a loud sigh as his brother began speaking again; crossing her arms together over her chest once again, but refusing to take any steps closer. "We were never /a/ thing." she angrily protested, her gaze flying over to Lake. "We will never /be/ a thing, so why don't we just forget this whole fucked up thing ever happened and just-" she was cut off when Rachel came back in the picture from behind, asking what was going on. Bex let out a laugh; naturally not genuine. "Nothing. /Nothing/ is. He's all fucking yours," she motioned over to Lake, before fully walking off, disappearing into the crowd, and go back to her room.

Rocco: Watching as his sister left Rocco ran a hand through his hair. "Go away Rachel please." He breathed in a tired tone before he slowly looked back at Lake. "I seriously am so fucking confused right now, but whatever you did, whatever this is you better fucking fix it, she's been the happiest I've seen her in a long time lately and now I have a sneaking suspicion it might have been at your hands." Rocco breathed pinching the bridge of his nose. "Please don't prove me wrong about you Lake, fix it."

Lake: Lake didn't even notice the girl come outside, he paid her no attention. He looked back at his friend nodding his head, "I know. I won't. But she needs some time right now. She's too stubborn and heated..." he sighed. "I didn't do anything, asshole. And she's scared, being around me right now is only going to scare her more. That's why it never came out. Because I don't think she's ready to admit we are something more to everyone, to herself, even though I'm pretty sure she knows. There's no way she thinks we are just sex," he said shaking his head, trying to make himself believe that she doesn't truly think that.

#i posted this shit bc IT WAS SO GOOD #c;lake #c;rocco

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