#he is not a terrible lover. his romances do not always end in tragedy. he is not a misogynist. he is not a terrible brother.

[apollosgiftofprophecy]

heads up to my followers for a debate

@trialsreblogs you must have misread my point or i didn't make myself clear enough.

I am not saying that. At all. I am pointing out how people claim Medea 'couldn't help' falling in love and turn around and condemn Apollo for it when the root of WHY they fell in love is the exact same thing!

Medea and Apollo were both shot with a love arrow - that is where they are similar. They had no choice but to fall in love.

As for 'Jason reciprocated it while Daphne didn't'? That's the thing!!!!

Just as Eros forced a love for Daphne onto Apollo, he forced a hatred of Apollo onto Daphne!

They both had no choice in this.

People need to acknowledge that!!!! Eros only shot Apollo to get back at him. This was a revenge scheme, and Eros took it a step farther to make sure Daphne wouldn't reciprocate.

And let me say this: Apollo, had he been in his right mind, would have backed off if Daphne asked. I have a WHOLE post on his love life that backs this up. He only chased after her because of how EXTREME his love for her was - it was CRANKED UP TO THE MAX.

Jason didn't get hit with either. Which is, yes, where these myths depart from being the same. But that's not what I'm saying here! At all!

I'm pointing out the backwards logic that's frequently used to villainize the gods. The double standards that are being applied to these ancient figures who should not be judge by human standards because the people who worshipped/worship them do not do that.

Medea: *gets hits with a love arrow and forced to fall in love with Jason, resulting in the murder of three family members and two other people*

People: She couldn't help it!!! Eros/Hera made her fall in love :(

Apollo: *gets hit with a love arrow and forced to fall in love with Daphne, resulting in her death*

People: omg TYPICAL god🙄 what can you expect from a MAN🤢 he's just as bad as Zeus!!!😠

Me:

😒

[suzannahnatters]

I have a normal amount of feelings about eps 11-15 of MOON LOVERS: SCARLET HEART RYEO

you think these boys are going to fight over our girl but NOPE they're going to take down the villain and clear her name using the power of brotherhood yisss

wait...no...

I ALWAYS KNEW THAT BLIGHTER WOOK WAS NO GOOD

Ohhhh Lady Oh is FLAYING him with a few concise, perfectly judged words

queen yoo this, princess yeon hwa that, who cares about the minor villains? the king is terrible and deserves to lose everything and the whole system is rotten and needs to burn down

can't say how much I love that the iconic rain scene is NOT simply "me big strong man protect frail woman". It's MOSTLY about our girl doing what little she can to protest injustice, and So being the only one with the moral courage to defy his father and join her.

a year goes by. it does nothing for Wook's personality except maybe made it *even worse!*

can't say I'm fond of the decision to make it look like the king is Doing His Best, Really! and that all the Shenanigans are the fault of the scheming women!

My soul longs for an OPHELIA-esque ending where our girl simply opts out of the Nonsense. But I'd settle for a Shakespearean ending where the presiding patriarch is depicted as deeply morally ambiguous and just as terrible as everyone else. We shall see -_-

anyway BAEK AH, DON'T YOU DIE ON ME

ahahaha this show wants you to know that the horrible king gets to be reunited blissfully after death with his one true love, whom he treated like dirt, ignored, got pregnant, and then executed for a crime she didn't commit!!! THANKS I HATE IT

on the other hand there's also a subplot in which a princess wants to kill the king who slaughtered her whole family but this mission is complicated when she accidentally falls in love with one of the princes and I do respect a show that just offhandedly includes such a trope

oh yesss, our girl finally figures out the depths of Wook's duplicity and cuts him off without a shilling, now THAT is satisfying

vale Prince Guyliner, you DIDN'T deserve any better but you died very prettily without anyone trying to make you out to be A Saint, Really

at this stage I'm wondering who bites it next. my money is on Mu or possibly the not-so-awful queen.

I was right. Vale Mu, you died, but not before becoming every bit as terrible as the last king

on the other hand it looks like if you trade in one prince you get another back, nifty!

anyway this episode was full of tragedy, skulduggery and people making awful choices for relatable reasons and all these sweet boys are all at each others' throats and it's the finest vintage pain I've experienced in a long time, I love it so much

the romance is working so! well! for me!

the way So has now happily waited THREE YEARS (I know, give the man an award for Basic Decency shush)

the way our girl steps into Lady Oh's shoes T_T

two adults have a misunderstanding & actually TALK IT OUT?

So apologising? what's this? a kdrama male lead actually APOLOGISING to the female lead? instead of demanding apologies from her???

So apologising for a promise he never made explicitly but only implied? to someone of a lower rank?

SKIN WATERED, CROPS CLEAR

I did NOT expect to feel this positive about a male lead who just got MARRIED to his UNDERAGE NIECE, YIKES

huaaargh I'm a huge fan of how this show started out with a girl in fairy-floss-pink dresses charming 8 cute princes and now it's this suffocatingly bleak steadily-ratching doom-laden Shakespearean tragedy

best family drama I've seen since Shah Jahan's succession crisis. everyone's climbing across each other's dead body to grab the throne or stay alive.

except our girl, who's doing her best with what she's got

Wook, in a rare moment of honesty: "Are you going to become the King's dog and kill Eun? ...You and I are both struggling to survive. That is the fate of a prince who does not become a King. One must submit in order to provide protection."

ajks? our girl has just found out who poisoned the last king...just by ASKING?

And she was told. Because she's powerless. Because she's not a threat. Because who can she ever tell. *faint screaming*

this is just one of my favourite things in fiction--the power of the powerless

the WAY!!! she has taken on this role of a wise woman/prophetess! best use of time travel EVER

"what could have caused the variable that carried the 3rd prince to the throne?" asks the court astrologer and So is like oh heck

so...their love IS changing history? but for the better, or worse?

oh no, Eun and Bear Girl finally (after what, 3 years of marriage) got as far as first base and discovered a mutual appreciation for toy boats, if this leads to their untimely deaths I will be extremely miffed

well, of all the young idiots who were SUPPOSED to run away together and start a toyshop and a dojo...

how am I supposed to stop watching this AUGH

[greatcometcas]

Hi!! i'm asking a bunch of people but do you have any destiel au best friend to lovers fic recs???? pleaseeeeee (no abo) thank youuuuu!!!! oh also as an aside I loveeeeeee your message "make your voice. a mail." to ask you something

Hello and thank you for the ask! Sorry for taking ages to answer 💖

Here are some fics that aren't specifically best friend to lovers but hopefully still fit what you're looking for. I wanted to do somewhat detailed thoughts on why i picked each one but also my memory is terrible so it's a lot of. listen. they're best friends. they're in love. i did cry.

drive, darling by @goldenboydean (E, 44k)

It's the last day of July and the air is thick with heat and road dust. Dean Winchester is waiting for his new lodger, some photographer from Chicago coming down to take pictures of the famous covered bridges in the area. And when Castiel Novak arrives at the Winchester farm both men develop a bond that grows stronger as the days go by. But Cas is only here for a short stay and Dean fears that falling for him would only end in a heartbreak. Some things, however, are inevitable. Summer is in full bloom in Madison County, Iowa. Hot, cloudless and ripe with possibilities.

This fic is such a comfort to me. Dean and Cas strike up a instant connection and then watching them get to know each other and build that connection into something more is really beautiful. It's also very lovingly portrays the community that dean has found for himself with his friends and has great little brother Sammy stuff.

A Weed in Any Other Place by @scones-and-texting-and-murder (E, 63K)

When Cas Novak’s car breaks down after a meeting with his agent about his overdue second novel, he heads to the nearest garage. Stuck there with his laptop as he waits for repairs, he finds himself unusually productive. The next day he sheepishly returns to the garage in hopes that they’ll let him sit and write and magic will strike again. This time he meets Dean, the son in Winchester & Son, who is doing his best to run the family business on his own. As the two of them get to know each other, little details–-like a vase with a single flower by the register–-show Cas that there is more to Dean Winchester than meets the eye.

A dreamy, delightful, romcom fic. I was hooked right from the start and read it all in basically one sitting. There was a lot of blushing and being unable to control my face in public. The budding friendship turned romance between dean and cas is so sweet.

Lonesome Town by @green-eyes-and-classic-rock (E, 113K)

In the Spring of 1958, Castiel drops out of West Point to go back to NYC and pursue his dream of being a pianist. Tragedy strikes, and soon he finds himself having to take care of his 8 year old niece, Claire. His gig at a local bar is his only solace...well that and the owner of the bar who he quickly finds he can't live without.

Been a while since I read this one but my bestie and i still talk about it on the regular. I'm a sucker for a period AU and the delicious angst here is definitely a bonus. Pianist!Cas lives in my heart always.

Sleepless in Lawrence, Kansas by @princemalice

Destiny is something we've invented because we can't stand the fact that everything that happens is accidental.

A Sleepless in Seattle AU (ish). Cas hosts a call-in radio show and Dean becomes one of his regular callers, so their friendship is built in this beautiful on-air bubble. Seeing them get to know each other and become comfortable with one another, even while anyone could be listening, is lovely and Dean and Cas having the time to just talk is something that will always be so special to me. It's also got a really great Sam and Dean dynamic.

spirit of the west by @urne-buriall (M 140k)

Dean grew up on a horse farm and can't imagine any other life. There are drawbacks to working for his father, but they're worth it if it means remaining with his beloved horses. Besides, between his broken arm and his lack of prospects, he hasn't got much else. Something of an outsider, Dean always feels like there's something he's missing. But this tense summer brings back a figure from his past: years ago, a teenaged Cas worked for a season at the Winchester ranch. His return could change everything. If you ever wanted a 90s horse girl book, but starring a young Dean Winchester, this is your fic.

When I first read this one, I had to keep putting my kindle down and do a lap around my apartment because of the pure surge of emotions it gave me. There's also a fantastic playlist to accompany it.

--

Some of these are definitely fics that I found through other blogs/rec lists so maybe they've already popped up in your ask adventure? in that case, consider my recommendation a further endorsement. And if you find any new faves from anyone else please share!

[pyropsychiccollector]

How would Makoto X Chisa happen? She is in your top five favorite Makoto pairings so I wouldn't be surprised if you got that planned out. Even if she is a teacher for another class.

Chisa-chan is special, yes. Similar to Toko, Ruruka, Sonia, Maki.... Essentially, canon gives them different love interests. Not an impossible obstacle to overcome, and it's practically a relief for girls like Chisa and Toko, considering the guys they initially like are... Well. Guys are allowed to turn a girl down if they're just not interested; there's no obligation to reciprocate. People are still free to ship Byakuya x Toko and Kyosuke x Chisa if they like. ... It's just we have as much a right to ship as we please, too.

... Long tangent there, but essentially, Kyosuke isn't really an obstacle for Makoto to overcome. Kyosuke is very driven, focused, and with the Tragedy no longer an issue (at least as we know it), Kyosuke is free to focus on his initial vision of an overseas campus for Hope's Peak (Vergil will be getting around to this campus within the next couple years). This means Chisa and Juzo are still at the original Hope's Peak, doing surveillance for him, but with the Kamukura Project derailed this leaves them with a lot of free time. So Chisa can remain focused on being a teacher. And naturally, in the Hope Universe, she's got classmates that are now teachers, so it's not like she's a lonely teacher with Class 77, fighting the good fight against the corrupt parts of Hope's Peak. :P

The nice thing about NaeChisa is that it's not so outlandish, age-wise. Yes, Chisa is a teacher, but she's only a few years older than Makoto (appr. 4 years older). She just needs to be kept in line when she gets affectionate with Makoto, save the dating stuff for after he graduates. But that's what her classmates are for, I suppose. :P But then again, her fellow teachers are in the same boat, pining after the Egg.... so they all keep each other in check. .... Yeah.

Makoto and Chisa just gravitate to each other because of their similar dispositions. Kind, caring, wanting to help others out, a bit lonely on the inside, feels small compared to their classmates.... Makoto becomes Chisa's favorite TA, and she's.... very affectionate with him. That's the thing about NaeChisa, you're not ultimately sure where the "love" begins and where it'll end. They click well together, and that's what matters. Makoto's not sure himself where and when he grew to love his teacher in.... that way.... But she's honestly near and dear to his heart, and he does want her happy. When he initially noticed his crush, he was fearful of stepping on toes because Chisa made it clear toward the beginning of the school year that she liked Kyosuke.... So he made an effort to bury/hide his crush...

But you know Makoto. Terrible liar, and Chisa's been aware of her crush for longer, and it's not that hard to see when Makoto's dwelling on something big like this. Poor guy can't hide his blushes to save his life~ Chisa tries to hold herself back for a little while, 'cause Ikue and other staff keep drilling it into her head "student-teacher relations are a no-no..." Alas. Chisa can't hold herself back forever, and it's not easy seeing Classes 78, 77, and 76 gun after the luckster. So popular~.... You're probably wondering about her crush for Kyosuke. ... Well, with Kyosuke over in America building his academy, he doesn't have time for romance. And he's always come off as more of a close friend than a lover; she made sure to get his blessing before pursing.... well, "someone else."

What? Did you think Chisa would tell her other best friend that she's crushing hard on a student????? Juzo already gave her an earful, catching sight of pictures of Makoto used as wallpapers on her phone. She doesn't want to test Kyosuke and see if he'll come running back to Japan because of this "development." She has his blessing, and this is enough. (❋•‿•❋)

Never mind that Kyosuke already knows because Juzo and all the other girls from Class 74 have already notified him about it, and he trusts them to keep Chisa from going.... overboard and getting fired because of relations with a student.

So, Chisa eventually drops her feelings like a bombshell onto Makoto, like all the other female teachers, on Valentine's Day. Even gets away with letting her luckster cop a feel while he's dazed from his face being smushed up in her fluffy pillows~.... Ikue puts her foot down, of course. None of the teachers are officially allowed to date Makoto until graduation.... But still~ Doesn't stop the girls from being chummy. ..... And sometimes risque with wearing no panties under their skirts. (❋•‿•❋)

[waldensblog]

Intent vs Perspective: Twilight as tragedy, not romance.

Alright guys, I know SMeyer ended Bella with Edward, and that it was always her original intent, it’s supposed to be a romance, but the text suggests otherwise. It suggests a tragedy - not a romance. 

I know, I know, this is what I look like rn:

But bear with me.

When SMeyer writes the first Twilight, she had no intention of writing a whole series, just that and Forever Dawn, so she has a plan. But as it went on, the plan didn’t really make sense anymore, though she insisted on using the original plan anyway, very HIMYM style.

So, in Twilight, she’s trying to basically make it like Pride and Prejudice (we could have a whole convo about if the literary comparisons are warranted, if that’s arrogant on her part, etc. but not the point here - the point is her intent). Edward = Darcy, and Bella = Elizabeth. They war with their natures and end up together. I’m not gonna comment on if she succeeded in this venture, just that it was the literary theme she was going for. 

Now, in New Moon, we’re pretty hit over the head that it’s supposed to be Romeo and Juliet. Obviously, Edward is supposed to be Romeo, and Bella is supposed to be Juliet. Bella makes the comparison herself, and thinks of Jacob as Paris. It’s an interesting note, because while I think Smeyer was going for “true love” and all, Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy - both characters die, it’s hardly a good love story/romance. Juliet actually would have better off with Paris. The play is a tragedy that explores how young lovers can often behave irrationally and it leads to their untimely death. In the case of Bella, that’s certainly true when the Volturi basically make it an obligation for her to become a vampire. So far, I’m not getting “romance” vibes, but “tragedy” vibes. 

In Eclipse, apparently, the theme this time is Wuthering Heights (again, we’re really hit over the head with that one). This has to be the most confusing of them all if we’re to expect a Bella/Edward ending. It becomes clear that Edward is supposed to be Heathcliff - the guy that Cathy doesn’t even ultimately end up with, with Jacob then playing the role of Edgar, the one Cathy marries. Throughout Eclipse, Edward/Heathcliff spends the first half behaving terribly, controlling Bella/Cathy’s movements, and banning her from seeing her best friend, Jacob/Edgar. Despite her anger, pointing out how controlling/psycho he is being, she winds up forgiving him, and then a 180 happens, with Jacob now being the jerk. Bella ends up realizing she’s in love with both of them, but chooses Edward - even if he’s Heathcliff, who is a) terrible and not well liked by any Wuthering Heights fans really - not even Bella - and b) not how it goes in Wuthering Heights. It also doesn’t even end with Bella happily announcing her engagement - it ends with Jacob running off into the woods to be alone with his broken heart at losing the battle of keeping her human.

So Twilight is basically “Edward makes his case”, New Moon is “Jacob makes his case” and Eclipse is “who will Bella choose?”, and with the Wuthering Heights/Eclipse theme that she beat us over the head with, it really really reads like it will be Jacob - her personal sun, the one who didn’t leave, the one who put her back together when she was broken, the one she’s known forever, her best friend, who is trying to save her from enthrallment/death, it reads like it’s gonna be a happy ending with Jacob... and then... HIMYMed by the original plan. 

Now... why do I keep going on about enthrallment? Well, it’s not her intent, but you can read that into the text, and if so, you add Bram Stoker’s Dracula into the mix. Edward/Dracula puts Bella/Mina/Lucy under thrall in Twilight, and his absence in New Moon makes her behave like Lucy/Mina when Van Helsing and co. try to cure the thrall. In this case, Jacob would be Jonathan Harker/Van Helsing, trying throughout New Moon to cure the thrall, and getting more and more desperate in Eclipse to do so. He behaves like an ass of course - and maybe he’s seen one too many fairytales where the Knight/Prince breaks the spell by kissing the Princess (a problematic trope itself). So Jacob is Harker, trying to break Mina’s thrall. Ultimately, he fails, because it’s not written as a romance - it’s written as a tragedy. 

[branwendaughterofllyr]

White Ravens, Winter Roses - Part Two

Branwen releasing her starling by Margaret Jones

Having gone over the parallels between Branwen, Lyanna, and Sansa, I want to discuss how the actual story of Branwen ferch Llyr shares some of the same themes as ASOIAF

Branwen ferch Llyr is rife with terrible violence, particularly against innocents. The catalyst that sets off the tragedy is the deeply brutal mutilation of Matholwch’s horses by Efnysien.

Then he went for the horses, and cut their lips to the teeth, and their ears down to their heads, and their tails to their backs; and where he could get a grip on the eyelids, he cut them to the bone. And in that way he maimed the horses, so that they were no good for anything.

The Mabinogion tr. Sioned Davies

What, after all, beyond that violent act at its genesis, was Branwen’s story about? Was this a Welsh-Irish Romeo and Juliet? Star-crossed lovers at the mercy of tribal prejudice? Or was this a tale of a beautiful woman suffering at the hands of the very men who should have been protecting her? Or was this story not about Branwen at all, but actually a cautionary tale about the cyclical nature of atrocity? A lesson in how violence will beget violence in an ever more terrible spiral of destruction?...For me, a lens of 2009 brought me zooming in once again upon Efnysien’s act of violence and also upon Matholwch’s ‘reply’ to that insult – his own excessive and displaced punishment of Branwen upon the couple’s return to Ireland. These beats of the myth struck a strong contemporary note with me, although at first I couldn’t work out exactly what that note was. It was something to do with the unreasonableness of these men’s actions, the excessive nature of their physical and emotional violence and the nihilistic resonance it left in its wake. -Owen Sheers

‘Oh son of God,’ she said, ‘woe that I was ever born. Two good islands have been laid waste because of me!’ She gives a mighty sigh, and with that her heart breaks. And they make a four-sided grave for her and bury her there on the banks of the Alaw. The Mabinogion tr. Sioned Davies. 

The fundamental conflict of the Second Branch of the Mabinogion cycle of violence begetting violence, spiraling out to ruin the lives of everyone it touches.  

Matholwch is egged on by his men to avenge the insult, and he does so by punishing the innocent Branwen, who is alone and a foreign land and dependent on her husband. He does this, even after Branwen’s brother Bran the Blessed has done the he can to pay Matholwch’s honour price, giving him the legendary cauldron of life itself. 

What is fascinating to me, that despite all the fantastical elements of the story, the human aspects shine through. Jealous Efnysien, who must always cause others to share his unhappiness by destroying violently what is precious to them. Wise but long suffering Bran the Blessed, who loves his sister and honors his responsibilities to his family. Branwen and her despair- there is very little mention of her happiness, even during her marriage which is celebrated by her brother and husband. The main emotion that follows her is sorrow and grief. Matholwch’s human flaws are what cause him to punish his innocent wife. It is the shame of his insult spreading throughout Ireland, and the pressure from his men that cause him to act. In the end, no one is happy, and both Branwen and Bendigeidfran die, and Ireland is left a ruin. 

ASOIAF, for all it’s magic and prophecies, is also driven by humanity of its characters. The tragedy of self fulfilling tragedies that permeate the series has closer links to the Arthurian Romances and Greek tragedies, but I think the extremes of cruel violence and attempts at restitution and even forgiveness are closer to the Welsh tradition, especially the story of Branwen ferch Llyr. There are moments when it seems that crisis will be averted. Bendigeidfran sits with Matholwch after the mutilation of his horses, asks what compensation would make him happy. Branwen, even after three years as a servant and being struck daily, advises her brother in her letters that it should still not come to war, even after all she has suffered, for she knows what war would do to the land. And the war is terrible, and no one truly wins in the end, and even the great cauldron is destroyed. It feels similar to the Dance of the Dragons in Westerosi history, when the civil war is finally over, and just about everyone who began the conflict is dead. The War of the Five Kings saw all but one of the five die, along with their families and allies, and the story isn’t even over yet. 

The innocent horse being mutilated for no other reason to satisfy someone's anger reminds me of the deaths of Lady and Mycah, both innocents punished by vengeful people, despite committing no crimes. The incident at the Trident is a microcosm of the wrongs done through out the rest of the books, something which I think was very intentional. Both Arya and Sansa still carry the scars of that day, and Ned greatly regretted it, and not doing more to prevent it. 

The Arthurian mythos is descended from these earlier Welsh myths, but are influenced by the later French Romantic and chivalric traditions and other literary movements. ASOIAF has many direct ties to Arthuriana, but in many ways is more a critique and deconstruction. I think that it has a lot in common with the Mabinogion, particularly in it’s unabashed reckoning with violence. (that's not to say Arthuriana doesn’t have similar moments, just that it’s less graphic, and... just different.) 

It’s just that the personal conflicts creating political conflicts that devastate everyone that feels very ASOIAF to me. Other parts of the Mabinogion are much more fantastical, and less.. personal? More reliant on expected tropes? Or more allegorical? I think I can write about Blodeuwedd in another post, but Branwen ferch Llyr as a story feels like an ancestor to ASOIAF in many ways. 

This is less of character meta now and more me ruminating about ASOIAF and the Mabinogion. GRRM has said that the only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict, and I think that this story presents this is a very visceral way, and how it can lead to tragedy. But while Branwen ferch Llyr is a tragedy, and I think that ASOIAF is much more likely to end on a happy note. Tolkien  wrote about what he called the “eucatastrophe,” a sudden turn of good over evil, just when all seems lost. In many ways ASOIAF subverts this idea- there is almost never an almost divine moment of grace when good is able to triumph despite the odds. However, I would like to suggest that just because this particular idea is not played to in ASOIAF, doesn’t mean that the series is as “grim dark” as it accused of being. There is an undercurrent of hope that is absent from many of the great epics and stories like the Mabinogion. The wolves will come again, there is a dream of spring. The good will come from people striving for it, and working towards it despite everything, not from no where, but perhaps invoking the same feeling. Tolkien called this the essence of the fairy story. 

The consolation of fairy-stories, the joy of the happy ending: or more correctly of the good catastrophe, the sudden joyous “turn” (for there is no true end to any fairy-tale): this joy, which is one of the things which fairy-stories can produce supremely well, is not essentially 'escapist', nor 'fugitive'. In its fairy-tale—or otherworld—setting, it is a sudden and miraculous grace: never to be counted on to recur. It does not deny the existence of dyscatastrophe, of sorrow and failure: the possibility of these is necessary to the joy of deliverance; it denies (in the face of much evidence, if you will) universal final defeat and in so far is evangelium, giving a fleeting glimpse of Joy, Joy beyond the walls of the world, poignant as grief.

And I think that's why there has to be such devastation. SO that the hope and joy is that much more poignant. 

The Mabinogion is really not a fairy tale, though it shares some elements, and I think that’s why it’s intersting to bring up. There is no happy ending, but the story rumbles on, and I don't think that’s what ASOIAF is going to do. 

Branwen ferch Llyr is full of “almost” moments, where the disaster is almost diverted, the crisis almost resolved, but it all comes to naught. I pointed out in part one that while I think Lyanna is more of a Branwen played straight, tragedy and all, Sansa is a deconstruction and rebuilding of the trope that Branwen plays into. She is not saved by her brothers after everything that was done to her, but that’s alright. She’s going to be able to make her own happy ending if she chooses. Violence against innocents will not go unpunished, and there will be an end to the war. I do think that certain level of sacrifice is going to be required, just as Bran the Blessed decides that his head should be placed to watch over his people, at the cost of his life. And maybe Branwen ferch Llyr does end on a more hopeful note, for the people listening?

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2021 | Day 28: Slow Burn

Celestial | @deservetobesaved

Rating: Mature Word Count: 10,585 Main Tags/Warnings: slow burn, emotional affair, happy ending Summary: Dean is in a less than stellar marriage, but he assumes things will work themselves out. At the same time, Mr. Castiel Novak becomes his new co-worker at school and Dean has to rethink everything he thought he had figured out.

Profound Kisses | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20,729 Main Tags/Warnings: destiel, smut, destiel kisses, clueless!Castiel, canonverse, post Purgatory season 8, angst with a happy ending, slow burn, mutual pining. Summary: Dean knows he's screwed. He discovers he is in love with Castiel in Purgatory, and now he can't even have the angel in front of him, because he knows it's a one sided love. It’s Valentine's day and Dean tries very hard to hook up as always, but he can't get Cas out of his mind. So he drives back to the motel, drunk, and he finds Castiel trying to help him. Then, when Dean asks Castiel for some experimental kisses and the angel accepts, Dean starts a very dangerous game… finding in Castiel's kisses the most delicious experiences, but also, his own perdition. Will Castiel fall in love with him? Or will he stay emotionless as always?

How to Raise a Mandrake | @SoraJonsei

Rating: Mature Word Count: 24,814 Main Tags/Warnings: Eventual Castiel/Dean Winchester, Magical Castiel, Non-Human Dean Winchester, Fluff, Humor, Romantic, Fluff, Alternate Universe, Prankster Gabriel, Universe - Fantasy, Slow Build, Happy Ending Summary: What else was Castiel to do when he woke up one morning to a very naked man in his backyard?

Crimes Of Passion | @celipuff

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 32,396 Main Tags/Warnings: Cop!Dean, Artist!Castiel, Angst With A Happy Ending, Drug Addict Castiel, Top!Castiel/Bottom!Dean, Slow Build Summary: Cas is a street artist from the wrong side of the tracks. He sees his world pretty clearly through his art... that is until officer Dean Winchester comes along and turns his drug induced world upside down.

The Hanged Man | @ellis-park

Rating: Mature Word Count: 87,602 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow burn, mystery, friends to lovers, graphic depictions of violence, child abuse Summary: After Park Ranger Cas Novak saves a mysterious stranger named Dean from an attempted murder in the woods, he finds himself drawn into the man's secretive life. Someone tried to kill Dean, but he's not telling who. In fact, he's barely speaking at all. If he's going to have any hope of helping Dean, Cas will have to convince the man to trust him — all while trying not to fall in love with him along the way.

Felix Mori | @deans-jiggly-pudding 

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 90,967 Main Tags/Warnings: Horny hospice, tech support!Cas, stripper!Dean, voice kink, power bottom Dean Winchester, slow burn Summary: Dean is living the dream: he gets to help people and shake his ass, and he gets paid for it. Gabriel Milton’s horny hospice is a fun place to work, but sees its fair share of technical difficulties. When the front desk computer malfunctions, the burden to call tech support falls on Dean. The man on the other end has a voice that does things to him, and if he’s lucky, IT man Cas just might feel the same way. The only thing that’s missing is his estranged brother. Dean wouldn’t have had to lie to him if it wasn’t for their deadbeat father, more obsessed with a life of crime than raising his own children. Even worse than the thought of never hearing from Sam again is the possibility of growing into someone who even vaguely resembles John Winchester, and that is a chance Dean simply cannot take. Come to think of it, maybe Dean’s dream life could use some healing after all.

The Moonlight Rule | @thefandomsinhalor

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 129,362 Main Tags/Warnings: Modern Setting AU, Marriage of Convenience, Ranch, Slow Build, Home Invasion, Friends to Lovers, Trauma, Angst and Fluff Summary: After the sudden passing of Henry Winchester, Castiel learns that the late Mr. Winchester made last minute changes in his will: Dean will only inherit the family ranch he’s been running, if he marries Castiel and stays married for at least six months.

The Angel | @thisisapaige

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 155,684 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst with a Happy Ending, Temporary Character Death, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Fantasy AU, Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Dean, Suicidal Ideation, Blood and Violence, Knight Dean, Fallen Angel Castiel, Scholar Sam Summary: They called him the Angel. Castiel never wanted to be a hero. He never asked to be a legend. He never considered himself a saviour. However, in his efforts to make up for his past after leaving Heaven, he became all three. They called them heroes. Growing up in the idyllic village of Lawrence, Dean dreamed of becoming a knight. In his nineteenth year, Dean journeyed to the Capital to earn his fortune. Sam, with his prized book of herbal knowledge clutched against his chest, traveled alongside Dean to become a man of his own. The Winchesters' drive and ambition lead them to the castle and into history as prominent figures in the Long War. Reality proved to be far more difficult than dreams.

Hot, blue and righteous | @Mistofstars

Rating: Mature Word Count: 168,016 Main Tags/Warnings: Romance, FluffHurt/Comfort, Drama, Domestic Violence, Sadness, HAPPY ENDING PROMISED, terrible attempts of humor, Domesticity, mentions of Castiel / Aaron (original side character), mentions of Lisa Braeden / Dean Winchester, Castiel is a judge, Dean is a cop, Alternate Universe, nothing supernatural here, Slow Burn, Slow Build, Previous death of side characters, feel good story, Sappy Summary: On the night of Sam’s graduation ball, Dean meets a guy called Castiel, and their insane chemistry instantly sets the air on fire, ending in a one-night-stand. However, it remains a one-off, and life continues. Three years pass, in which Dean meets Lisa and Castiel meets Aaron. After Lisa’s sudden death, Dean takes some time off from his work as a police officer and travels across the states to deal with his grief of losing Lisa. After Dean returns to his normal life again, he visits Bobby, staying with him for a few weeks. One night, Bobby gets an emergency call, and a beaten-up Castiel seeks shelter in Bobby’s house, far away from his abusive boyfriend Aaron. Both Castiel and Dean are certain they can never fall in love again after what had happened to them – but as soon as you start making plans, life happens.

So It Goes | @raiseyourpinky

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 236,469 Main Tags/Warnings: Friends to lovers, roommates, domestic fluff, Dean and Castiel are parents, mutual pining, depression, anxiety, top!Castiel/bottom!Dean Summary: Dean Winchester has finally bought his white picket fence dream house for his girlfriend Lisa and their son Ben. On top of living in the perfect neighborhood, they now have the best neighbors, the Novaks. Castiel and Amelia Novak are awaiting their first baby, Claire. They’re in love and are not afraid to show it. When their new neighbors move in next door, they become practically family. It feels as though nothing could ruin the ultimate domestic bliss Dean and Castiel have achieved. Until it all goes to hell. Then the two of them will be the only ones left to pick up all of the broken pieces and keep each other moving forward. Dean and Castiel soon realize that the only thing stronger than tragedy and pain is the love that they have for each other.

[2tired2study]

hi! i’ve recently finished the picture of dorian gray so let’s go over my favorite quotes (in order from the ones that appear in the book first to last)

if they know nothing of victory, they are at least spared the knowledge of defeat

being natural is simply a pose, and the most irritating pose i know

and as for believing things, i can believe anything, provided that it is quite incredible

when our eyes met, i felt that i was growing pale. a curious sensation of terror came over me. i knew that i had come face to face with someone whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if i allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself

he, too, felt that we were destined to know each other

laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is by far the best ending for one

a man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies

i like persons better than principles, and i like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world

every day. i couldn’t be happy if i didn’t see him every day. he is absolutely necessary to me

he is all my art to me now

it is only the intellectually lost who ever argue

and the mind of a thoroughly well-informed man is a dreadful thing

there is no such thing as a good influence, mr gray. all influence is immoral; immoral from the scientific point of view

he becomes an echo of someone else’s music

but the bravest man among us is afraid of himself

nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul

some day, when you are old and wrinkled and ugly, when thought has seared your forehead with its lines, and passion branded your lips with its hideous fires,you will feel it, you will feel it terribly

man is many things, but he is not rational

examinations, sir, are pure humbug from beginning to end. if a man is a gentleman, he knows quite enough, and if he is not a gentleman, whatever he knows is bad for him

behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic

there was something fascinating in this son of love and death

really! and where do bad americans go to when they die?... they go to america

well, the way of paradoxes is the way of truth

all i want now is to look at life. you may come and look at it with me, if you care to

punctuality is the thief of time

it is only the sacred things that are worth touching

when one is in love, one always begins by deceiving ones self, and one always ends by deceiving others

there is always something infinitely mean about other peoples tragedies

how different he was now than the shy frightened boy he had met in basil hallwards studio! his nature had developed like a flower, had borne blossoms of scarlet flame. out of its secret hiding-place had crept his soul, and desire had come to meet it on the way

it is personalities, not principles, that move the age

people are very fond of giving away what they need most themselves

he lives the poetry that he cannot write. the others write the poetry that they dare not realize

human life—that appeared to him the one thing worth investigating

to note the curious hard logic of passion, and the emotional coloured life of the intellect—to observe where they had met, and where they separated, at what point they were in unison, and at what point they were at discord—there was a delight in that! what matter was the cost? one could never pay too high a price for any sensation

with his beautiful face, and his beautiful soul, he was a thing to wonder at. it was no matter how it all ended, or was destined to end. he was like one of those gracious figures in a pageant or a play, whose joys seem to be remote from one, but whose sorrows stir ones sense of beauty, and whose wounds are like red roses

the senses could refine, and the intellect could degrade

all that it really demonstrated was that our future would be the same as our past, and that the sun we had done once, and with loathing, we would do many times, and with joy

it often happened that when we thought we were experimenting on others we were really experimenting on ourselves

the joy of a caged bird was in her voice

she was free in her prison of passion

i love him because he is like what love himself should be.

he was like a common gardener walking with a rose

he had the dislike of being stared at, which comes on geniuses late in life and never leaves the commonplace

to be in love is to surpass ones self

my wonderful lover, my god of graces

i wish i had, for as sure as there is a god in heaven, if he ever does you any wrong, i shall kill him

whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives

i don’t want to see dorian tied to some vile creature, who might degrade his nature and ruin his intellect

we are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices

and unselfish people are colourless. they lack individuality

you are much better than you pretend to be

of course, it is sudden—all really delightful things are

he is not like other men. he would never bring misery upon any one. his nature is too fine for that

but i am afraid i cannot claim my theory as my own. it belongs to nature, not to me

no civilized man ever regrets a pleasure, and no uncivilized man ever knows what a pleasure is

there was a gloom over him

he felt that dorian gray would never again be to him all that he had been in the past

any one you love must be marvellous

it is not good for ones morals to see bad acting

there are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating—people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing

you taught me what reality really is

you had made me understand what love really is

you are more to me than all art can ever be

there is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love

a faint echo of his love came back to him

we live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities

when we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has a right to blame us

i cant bear the idea of my soul being hideous

one can always be kind to people about whom one cares nothing

nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner

it is only shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion

you were the most unspoiled creature in the whole world

of you wish me never to look at your picture again, i am content. i have always you to look at

from the moment i met you, your personality had the most extraordinary influence over me. i was dominated, soul, brain, and power, by you

i grew jealous of every one to whom you spoke. i wanted to have you all to myself. i was only happy when i was with you

i only knew that i had seen perfection face to face

i grew more and more absorbed in you

you are made to be worshipped

in every pleasure, cruelty has its place

but it was to teach man to concentrate himself upon the moments of life that is itself but a moment

out of the unreal shadows of the night comes back the real life that we had known. we have to resume it where we left off, and there steals over us a terrible sense of the necessity for the continuance of energy in the same wearisome round of stereotyped habits, or a wild longing, it nat be, that our eyelids might open some morning upon a world that had been refashioned anew in the darkness for our pleasure, a world in which things would have fresh shapes and colours, and be changed, or have other secrets, a world in which the past would have little or no place, or survive, at any rate, in no conscious form of obligation or regret, the remembrance of even joy having its bitterness and the memories of pleasure their pain

yet, as had been said of him before, no theory of life seemed to him to be of any importance compared with life itself

he saw that there was no mood of the mind that had not its counterpart

art, like nature, has her monsters

is insincerity such a terrible thing? i think not. it is merely a method by which we can multiply our personalities

and mind you don’t talk about anything serious. nothing is serious nowadays. at least nothing should be

i am tired of myself tonight. i should like to be someone else

sin is a thing that writes itself across a mans face

you forget that we are in the native land of the hypocrite

that is the reason why i want you to be fine. you have not been fine

you have a wonderful influence. let it be for good, not for evil

i wonder do i know you? before i could answer that, i should have to see your soul

my god! don’t tell me that you are bad, and corrupt, and shameful

so you think it is only god who sees the soul, basil? draw that curtain back, and you will see mine

each of us has heaven and hell in him, basil

you are the one man who is able to save me

don’t speak about those days, dorian—they are dead... the dead linger sometimes

lord henry, i am not at all surprised that the world says that you are extremely wicked

life is a great disappointment

i like men who have a future and women who have a past

moderation is a fatal thing. enough is as bad as a meal. more than enough is as good as a feast

you always want to know what one has been doing. i always want to forget what i have been doing

his soul, certainly, was sick to death

he was prisoned in thought. memory, like a horrible malady, was eating his soul away

ones days were too brief to take the burden of another’s errors on ones shoulders

it is a sad truth, but we have lost the faculty of giving lovely names to things

to define is to limit

to be popular one must be a mediocrity

romance lives by repetition, and repetition converts an appetite into an art

i am searching for peace

the appeal to antiquity is fatal to us who are romanticists

sick with a wild terror of dying, and yet indifferent to life itself

horror seemed once more to lay its hand upon his heart

how terrible it was to think that conscience could raise such fearful phantoms

he had a wild adoration for you and that you were the dominant motive of his art

when you and he ceased to be great friends, he ceased to be a great artist

if a man treats life artistically, his brain is his heart

art has a soul, but that man had not

the soul is a terrible reality

to get back my youth i would do anything in the world, except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable

but a chance tone of colour in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once loved and that brings subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten poem that you had come across again, a cadence from a piece of music that you had ceased to play—i tell you, dorian, that it is on things like these that our lives depend

life has been your art

the books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world it’s own shame

the world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. the curves of your lips rewrite history

it was the living death of his own soul that troubled him

as it had killed the painter, so it would kill the painters work, and all that that meant. it would kill the past, and when that was dead, he would be free

[j-amespotter]

★ the last great american dynasty - s. b.

“i had a marvelous time ruining everything.” 

Pairing: Sirius Black x Muggle-born!Reader 

x. x. x.

Summary: A one-shot diving into Sirius’s complicated relationship with Grimmauld Place and where the Muggle-born he falls for fits in.

Genre/Warnings: angst, emotional abuse, alcohol, language, mentions of death & war 

Word Count: 1.9k

A/N: so.. this is more of a character study on sirius & his dynamic with his family – i know this song is meant to be about a woman but it also screams sirius to me. i’m a sucker for romance so it’s a reader-insert. fun fact, i was almost done writing this when i realized i wanted it to be a wolfstar fic, but i was too lazy to change it, so just putting that out as a concept lol. let me know what you think & if you’d like me to tag you in future works!! 

masterlist

When Sirius first showed signs of his rebellious nature, Walburga wasn’t worried. After all, many children were incapable of sitting still in large gatherings, mouthing off to their parents, or incessantly teasing their younger siblings. “He will be kept in good company. He will learn,” Walburga would say to her husband. He often exasperated her, but there was no denying her immense pride. Despite his antics, even at a young age, Sirius displayed impressive magical ability and had a commanding presence – excellent qualities for the heir to the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black. 

She worried only a little when he preferred to spend time with Andromeda, who was clearly becoming disillusioned with their family values, and Alphard, who Walburga believed was beginning to get a little too soft. Still, the Blacks were not raving lunatics. They were traditionalists, committed to upholding the high standards of Wizarding society. Sirius would not defy them, not when the weight of their bloodline rested on his shoulders, not when Regulus would never be able to stomach such responsibility.

On his first night at Hogwarts, Sirius didn't write home. It wasn’t until the morning after that Narcissa delivered the dreadful news to her mother. Walburga’s sister-in-law relished discussing this most recent embarrassment, as the family’s attention was now off her daughter’s courtship of a mudblood. Young Sirius, their direct heir, was sorted into the House of Muggle-lovers and blood traitors, into the House of Godric Gryffindor.

Blown apart by this development, Walburga turned to her younger son. She had no intention of repeating her mistakes and resolved to train him for the responsibility that should have belonged to her eldest. That way, if she was unable to correct Sirius’s behavior, she had back-up. Her legacy was secure. 

During every subsequent holiday, she noticed that the damage was getting more-and-more irreversible. Sirius unabashedly consorted with infamous blood traitors and pathetic half-bloods. He seemed to dread seeing his family as much as she dreaded seeing how much of him she had lost. She tried; no one could say she didn’t. But she was too stern with him. He had inherited his flexibility, or lack thereof, from her. She pushed him too far away. Soon, he stopped returning home for Christmas. When he was sixteen, she spat at him as he closed the door to Number 12 Grimmauld Place one last time, without sparing her a final glance. 

He never expected he would have to return. Offering up the property to the Order seemed like a good idea at the time – he hardly put any thought into it. That was how he made most of his decisions. His track record certainly proved so. When Remus didn’t have anywhere to stay, and neither did the newly-reformed Order of the Phoenix, Sirius knew that his family estate in London was not just their most ideal option, but also the only one they had. 

He managed to enter undetected in his Animagus form with Remus. He had to hand it to fate – there were no extra security measures to keep him out. It was as if she anticipated his arrival. Swallowing, he absorbed his surroundings. Despite the eerie silence and decomposing furniture, it looked like an image straight from his memory. Sirius suddenly felt sixteen again. 

What he did not expect to see, however, was a currently-sleeping life-sized portrait of Walburga Black in the hallway. Though now in his human form, Sirius growled inadvertently. She knew. She always knew that he would come back. She wanted to be there when he did. Unbelievable, he thought to himself. 

Aware of Remus’s wary gaze on him, Sirius walked forward and began pulling on the frame. “Get off, you hag! Remus, help me get this off!” 

Remus went to join his old friend in what seemed like a fruitless mission in his mind but came to an abrupt halt when the portrait, disturbed by her son’s grunts, awoke in a flash of fury. “Filth! Scum! Abomination of my flesh! You are no son of mine,” portrait-Walburga hissed. 

“Shut up, just shut up!” He had not heard her voice since he was near a Dementor, reliving the worst of his teenage years. The visual made it much, much worse. 

“Permanent Sticking Charm, it seems…” Remus said to appease his friend, pulling the withering velvet curtains over its towering frame with all his strength.

“This is torture,” sighed Sirius. “Maybe we can find another place.” 

Remus refused to meet his eye. “For now, it is all we have, Sirius. If it was going to be a problem, you should not have offered it to Professor Dumbledore.” 

Sirius frowned. “It’s all I’m able to do this time around. It’s not like I can go around trailing Death Eaters and infiltrating the Ministry with everyone else.”

“Hopefully, it’s only temporary,” assured Remus, though he was equally as uncertain about Sirius’s fate as a fugitive. “Try not to let this place get into your head, okay?” 

Sirius Black was never good at keeping promises. He had three-and-a-half decades of evidence to back that up. In the weeks following, the Order settled in, consisting of many highly competent Aurors, half-a-dozen Weasleys, and an ex-Death Eater he could do without seeing. Sirius found himself never too far from alcohol, itching for more access. He longed to see Harry and to get away from his wretched house-elf, along with the constant, stinging reminder of his mother's existence. 

But there was something else inside of him, something he couldn’t describe. It was an emotion that was egging him on. He felt it inside of him every time Kreacher muttered complaints about wandering red-headed blood traitor brats. It swirled in his stomach when his mother shouted scathing insults at the clumsy half-blood and filthy half-breed that took temporary refuge in the former pure-blood paradise. 

Then she came. 

She was new. She worked at the Ministry; many of his houseguests were incredibly fond of her. He recognized the innocence in her eyes. It was the same innocence that he had when he first joined the Order seventeen years earlier. It was the same innocence that differentiated every new member from every returning one – they had yet to see tragedy in its fullest form. 

“Hello,” she greeted. She seemed strangely unperturbed by the fact that she was in the presence of an alleged mass murderer. “I’m (Y/N). I’ve been told this is your house. Thank you for playing host.”

“My pleasure,” responded Sirius. Involuntarily, he reached for her hand and kissed it. Suddenly, he became painfully aware of his hollowing cheeks, untamed hair, and liquor-infused breath.

She flushed slightly at the gesture. Black family habits die hard. Just because he chose to refrain from practicing them did not mean he had forgotten, nor did it mean that he wasn’t any good at them. 

Walburga Black’s portrait watched her son fall in love with her. Sirius watched her watch him. There was no telling how she would react. Regulus was dead – it was up to him to preserve their family’s name and purity.

(Y/N) was witty and flirty and incredibly intelligent. He found himself feeling a decade younger as he enjoyed their banter and her overall easiness. Before long, she kissed him in his dimly-lit pantry, and he was too selfish to stop her. They would kiss in every corner of the house, hardly caring that anyone was watching, ignoring the ghosts living within the walls. For Sirius, (Y/N) was his greatest act of defiance. She was born to non-magic parents. As narrated by a disgruntled Kreacher to his now-helpless mistress, she was nothing but a “filthy mudblood.” 

One night, weeks after the children departed for Hogwarts and the house was, as on most days, empty, he caught her staring at the Black family tapestry. Without making a sound, he inched behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hello, beautiful,” he whispered, pressing a kiss on her shoulder. “Sickle for your thoughts?” 

She leaned into him. As the days went on, she would tire easily. Still, she found happiness in Sirius as he did with her, and they both were old enough to know to reach for it in any capacity they got. “It’s nothing. It’s stupid. Let’s get to bed.” 

“As much as I’m a fan of that idea,” he started with a smirk, “you look upset. Is it work? Fudge?” 

“No, nothing like that.” Her fingers traced his blasted name on the wall. She looked thoughtful. “I’ve just… noticed something about you.” 

“Oh yeah? What’s that?” 

“The way you look at your mother.” 

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Well, it’s no secret that I hate her. I hope that’s not off-putting. You’ve seen what she’s like – it was worse when she was alive. I promise I’m a gentleman in general circumstances… for the most part,” he added cheekily. 

She smiled tightly. “No, I get it. It must be terrible for you, being back here.” 

“It is,” he affirmed. “I’ve got you, though. You make me happier than anything, love.” 

“That’s the thing,” she uttered as if it pained her. Sirius could stare at her fiery expression for days on end. To be on the receiving end was strange. “I can’t help but think that you’re only in love with me to spite her. Like your feelings aren’t love, they’re just a culmination of your hatred for her.” 

It took Sirius an eternity to process what she just said. Realizing that he was not going to say anything, she continued. “Believe me, I know you hate it here. But at the same time, you look so… satisfied. You’re hosting a bunch of blood traitors, half-bloods, and a werewolf in this place that was once the pinnacle of blood purity. You’re providing a haven against the bloody Dark Lord. And worst of all, you’re with a mudblood.” 

“Don’t call yourself that,” interrupted Sirius harshly. 

“It’s the truth. If you weren’t in this position, would we even be together?” 

“Of course,” said Sirius. To answer this question, he didn’t even have to think. “I love you because you’re you. You’re beautiful and smart and make me laugh until my stomach hurts. You’re so good with Harry and you can put anyone in their place. You make me feel new again… God, that’s fucking sappy, but it’s true. I indeed hate this place and I hate her but… but if I let her dictate my choices, even when she’s bloody dead, then she’s won. I don’t want her to win. If I was only with you for your blood status, then I would be no different from my mother.” 

She stared up at him, her eyes betraying a wave of emotions. She reached up to kiss him, tangling her fingers in his hair. “Thank you for saying all of that. Just hold on for a little while, alright? Soon, we’ll be out of here. We can have our own house – you, me, and Harry.” 

He smiled at her sadly. It seemed too unreachable of a goal to him at the moment. “By the beach?” “Wherever you’d like,” she answered, leading him to his bedroom, his only sanctuary in the horrible house. 

As they made their way towards the stairs, Sirius glanced at the tapestry over his shoulder, at the seven generations of Blacks behind him. He gently squeezed (Y/N)’s hand. For the first time in his entire life, he felt the weight of carrying his name lift off him. He’d done his part to corrupt his bloodline. It was time for Sirius to focus on himself in a way that the shadows of his past never allowed him to, even in his schoolboy days with James. Being a Black was a part of who he was, and even a disowned Black deserved his long-overdue happiness.

Tagging: @strawberriesonsummer​

[gigglebug]

A (Masks), L, U, AA, AN, AV (Sirens)

A. What is the plot of (Mask)? Be as specific or vague as you’d like.

okay so, the story so far across everything I've written so far:

extended prologue: Crea and Malroth meet at a masquerade ball. Crea is indentured servant type person with A+ friends and gets to go. Malroth is prince of the empire they live in. Malroth finds out about her terrible living conditions and pays off her debts and pays for her to go to school (with him! ofc). the ball only lasts three days and ends with them going home before they go to school.

mask book 1: the epic slow burn of how they finally bang. much shenanigans and close calls ensue, many of them caused by Aris, Malroth's servant/lover, who really just wants to get Malroth a nice girl so he can calm the heck down (which he won't, considering Malroth is in hiding because he longs for normalcy without the paparazzi/ass-kissers). fun times! ends with the end of the school year after overthrowing a violent mob. as you do.

book 2 (which I'm considering splitting): so far I've only written the summer, which has Malroth's loser dad Hargon arrange a marriage with a neighboring country. the ot3 is devastated. things happen and (spoiler?) he escapes the arrangement! and goes to Crea at her hometown that she recently became Baroness over. I'm up to this point in a mountain full of fluff. (there's rings and proposing. much cute.)

future plot includes Crea's previously thought-to-be-dead Dad coming back to attempt to mooch her money, Malroth getting married in secret to his bffs, his public return to the castle and subsequent abduction by pirates for spoiler reasons, and the public royal wedding. :D

L. Least favorite character?

King Ludovic for Mask. power tripping bitchass grandpa. I had the heeby jeebies whenever I had to write him. 😫 Hargon is up there too tbh.

for sirens it's probably Sera. 🤣

U. Do you prefer vague or specific writing prompts?

probably vague. more wiggle room for the characters to be accurate, in my case.

AA. What is a conspiracy theory in your story’s universe?

in Mask, it's become a pastime to theorize where and why the prince is in hiding. most of these are wildly outlandish, so probably something having to do with that.

not sure for Sirens, unfortunately. probably something about the Raptors all having an orgy once a month or something ridiculous.

AN. If you could collaborate on a story with any author, living or dead, who would it be? 

either Brian Jacques so I could learn how to write awesome food descriptors, or Neil Gaiman since he seems like a cool guy and I'd love to learn what his process is like.

AV. Flip the genre of (Sirens) to something completely the opposite. (Example: a comedy becomes a tragedy, a fantasy epic turns into a coffee shop romance, etc). How would the characters fare in their new circumstances? 

hmm Sirens is sort of a mix-all, isn't it? the cutesy meet-cute for Pat and Felice, and the grungy side with Jobro and the Raptors... Opposite of urban fiction would be to put it in a supernatural fantasy, I suppose?

Felice is probably some sort of healer/mage. Pat might be a rogue? Or maybe a paladin. Scotia is a barbarian... Tahlia would be an assassin no matter what universe she's in XD Dunno what Jobro is, but he'd be a werewolf. Just cos. :3

I think they'd do okay, actually. no clue for a plot, but they'd be a decent band of adventurers.

which reminds me, Troy gets to be the innkeeper that they always go back to. cos he's got the good deals (and A+ fence). :D

[solar-pxwered]

A List Of Norman Reedus Movies/Shows I Have Seen And My Opinions On Them

1. The Boondock Saints

The Best. A classic. Bloody and inappropriate and if I remember my count correctly, contains 194 “fucks” or variations of it (this movie certainly illustrates the diversity of the word). Terrible Irish accents. A KICKASS soundtrack. Willem DeFoe crossdressing. Dropping toilets on people’s heads. Over the top action sequences. Cheesy dialogue. Campy as fuck. I freakin’ love it.

2. The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

Some people didn’t like this one as much as the first one, and I admit that I wasn’t as fond of the new detective in this one as I was of Smecker...but, overall, I really enjoyed it and I drove 2 hours to see it in theaters. I love Romeo more than Rocco. The humor was on point. It was nice to see the original actors for Doc, Dolly, Duffy and Greenley. There was more terrible Irish accents, another KICKASS soundtrack, cheesy dialogue, over the top action sequences, still campy as fuck. I freaking love it.

3. The Walking Dead

Cannot even describe how much I love this show. I have ALWAYS loved zombie related shows and movies so this show was right up my alley from the very beginning all the way back in 2010. I watched it religiously every Sunday. I adore this roller coaster ride of a show and I especially adore Daryl, Carol and Jerry. This show has it all: Comedy, drama (hella lots of that), tragedy and triumph...and it never fails to pulls me in and hold my interest.

4. Mimic

Honestly, I saw this a LONG time ago and I hated it because...well, because I have a cockroach phobia, ok?! Don’t judge. Norman’s part was pretty small, not one of his lasting impressions on me.

5. Six Ways To Sunday

This is a weird one. It’s about an overly innocent 18 year (played by Norman) who gets involved in the Mob and develops an alter ego that’s violent and his complete opposite. There’s murder, prostitutes and good ol’ fashioned mother-son incest and it wasn’t a movie I suggest for the lighthearted or anyone with those sort of triggers. 

That being said, I watched the whole thing and didn’t hate it. It was just uncomfortable...as seems to be a theme with Norman Reedus movies.

6. Dark Harbor

This fucking movie...

Ok, so, I’ll be straight with you: I really enjoyed this dumbass movie. It had me guessing right up to the very end and it took me on a very strange ride along the way. 

If watching someone sexually feed a woman a poisonous mushroom, lots of dark eyed staring scenes or Norman Reedus making out with Alan Rickman is your thing, then go for it. 

7. Let the Devil Wear Black

It’s modern Hamlet. What else is there to say? If you like Hamlet, you’ll like this movie. If you like pre-car accident, baby face Reedus with the black hair, you’ll like this movie. I liked it.

8. 8MM

You know what the best thing about this movie is? Nicholas Cage. He steals the damn show no matter what movie he’s in and no one can even deny that fact. Norman’s part in this one is pretty small too but I liked this movie anyway because...well, Nick Cage. Enough said.

9. Bad Seed

I honestly can’t remember how this movie ends, all I remember was that it wasn’t at all how I expected it. I liked this movie because it’s a psychological thriller and that’s my most favorite genre of all time. The movie’s premise is a guy suspects his wife of having an affair and comes home one night and finds her murdered so he goes after her lover (Reedus) to try and kill him because he believes he was the one who killed her. It’s a cat and mouse chase sort of thing...now I need to rewatch it because I can’t, for the life of me, remember how it ends.

10. Gossip

Ok, no JOKE, this is the best movie I ever randomly discovered and I can’t believe how many people have never heard of it! It’s got some big names in it (Lena Headey, Norman Reedus, James Marsden and Kate Hudson to name a few).

It’s a psychological thriller/mystery drama in which three friends start a rumor at their school as a social experiment for their class. The rumor grows, however, and suddenly it’s out of their hands and spiraling out of control. People start getting hurt, reputations get dragged through the mud and then it escalates to the point of someone losing their life. The three main characters {Reedus, Headey and Marsden) try to figure out the truth behind the out of control rumors and discover more than they ever imagined, or ever wanted.

I HIGHLY recommend this movie. I really, REALLY do. The ending is one of the best twists I’ve seen in a LONG time.

11. The Beatnicks

This movie is so weird. It’s like...it’s just really weird. It revolves around two beat poets who find a magic box that somehow magically helps them get good at being poets but it’s like...an evil box and so they decide to only use it once and then get rid of it. Yeah, it’s a weird movie. Not my highest suggestion.

12. Blade II

Ok, if you’ve never seen the Blade Trilogy then I just don’t even know what to tell you. 

My favorite of the three movies, Blade 2 gives us the glorious Reedus character of Scud, the pot smoking, horrible-shirt-wearing, mechanical genius and Blade’s sidekick. Not only is he precious and adorable, the movie in all is enjoyable and has a fun rave-esque soundtrack. 

The one thing I hate? *SPOILER ALERT* Scud’s scummy betrayal.

13. Tough Luck

This is another one of those movies that I liked but it’s just so freaking weird. 

It’s a psychological drama where a down on his luck con artist, Archie (Reedus), tries to rip off a carnival worker and gets caught. As punishment, he’s hired to work at the carnival  to pay off the debt. He gets involved in a scheme to murder the owner’s wife, but falls in love with her in the process.

Things go to shit. He gets the short end of the stick. More plots and lies develop. It’s all twisted until the end and the answers fall into place.

I really like this movie, it’s one that I kept and still have my copy of. 

A word of warning though, never leave this movie on your movie shelf for your father to find and watch while you’re away at college, resulting in your mother calling you and asking you why you have such a nasty movie. Because the sex scene at the end is OUTRAGEOUS. I mean, it is the FUNNIEST fucking sex scene I have ever seen in my life and I can’t ever watch it without cringing and laughing. My mother, however, didn’t think it was funny at all and my father was too shocked to even form a sentence.

I highly suggest this trippy as hell movie.

14. Octane

Ok, to be fair, this movie is actually alright, although Norman’s character gets the shittiest death possible. I mean, imagine dying because some psycho vampire kisses you and bites your tongue out. That’s one shitty death.

But, overall, this is a good thriller. Johnathan Rhys Meyers plays the villain and he’s always pretty quality. The story is basically a teenager has a disagreement with her mom and gets picked up by this drugged up, blood sucking, vampire wannabe cult and indoctrinated joining them. Her mother joins up with a tow truck driver (Reedus) whose daughter was also kidnapped years ago and who has been hunting the cult down ever since. 

It was a cringe filled, yet interesting, movie and I didn’t hate it.

15. John Carpenter’s Cigarette Burns

This is John Carpenter....OF COURSE I liked this one. 

I won’t say what it’s about because that would ruin the story, but it’s part of an anthology and John Carpenter loved Norman’s role so much he STILL talks about it today and suggests Norman to people in the industry.

It’s a good one if you’re into horror shorts or anthologies or the genius of the legend that is John Carpenter.

16. A Crime

I had completely forgotten about this movie until I started making this post, but now that I remember...I REALLY liked this one!!

This is a pretty sad one, but it was very good and Norman’s acting in it is absolutely wonderful. His character’s wife was murdered and the suspect was never found so his neighbor, who really likes him, creates a fake culprit so that he can finally get some closure. 

This is a good one. I suggest this one if you’re in the mood for a strange sort of romance movie that has underlying thriller tones.

17. Moscow Chill

I remember watching this one, and I remember enjoying it, but I honestly can’t remember anything about it except that it’s a Russian film in which Norman plays a computer hacker who gets hired to hack into a Russian bank and gets caught and put in prison. But I honestly can’t remember what happens in detail.

If you like foreign movies with hacking and subterfuge plots, then give it a try because I do remember enjoying it while I watched.

18. Red Canyon

This one is kinda fucked up. Imagine Daryl Dixon mixed with Breaking Bad mixed with Deliverance and you’ve pretty much got the story...

A brother and sister return to their mother’s hometown to settle things and put their horrible past behind them...but upon returning they end up reliving the nightmare all over again.

It’s a good thriller/horror watch, but there are scenes of sexual violence so if that’s not something you can handle, then don’t watch this one.

19. Hero Wanted

This. Is. A. GOOD. Movie.

Cuba Gooding Jr. is the lead and he does an AMAZING job. Gooding’s character is a garbage man who falls in love with a girl who never takes any notice of him. To get her attention, he stages a heist in which he is supposed to jump in, save the day, and win the girl...only the heist turns out to be real and he is shot and the girl is also shot in the process. He sets out for revenge and gets in way over his head.

Norman’s part in this isn’t very big...but HOLY SHIT, was it impactful. His character didn’t have a lot of screen time, in comparison to a lot of other people, but he had a solid backstory and reason for being involved and MY GOD did I cry about it. This was actually the first movie of his I watched AFTER discovering Boondock Saints and it solidified my love for his acting abilities.

A very good watch. Highly suggest.

20. Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

This one is pretty ok, actually, as far as lame horror movies go. 

The plot is simple: Blonde, beardy, corn farmer Norman gets slowly driven insane by the haunted scarecrow in his field that he thinks putting up is a good idea for some damn reason. He starts to get more and more violent and rapey as time goes on until his family is forced to take up arms against him.

It’s not bad. Second part in what I THINK is a trilogy? I’ve only ever seen the first two. If you like horror movies then this one is a good watch. As I mentioned though, there is an attempted rape scene in this one so just be aware.

21: Pandorum

It’s an alien movie. Astronauts run into a species that is stronger and hungry for tasty humans. Shepard (Norman’s character) doesn’t make it out alive. If you’re not in the mood to see Norman get LITERALLY gutted or other characters get nommed by aliens, then don’t watch.

If you ARE, then go ahead and watch, because it was pretty alright.

[mediawhorefics]

Hiii this is very random but what are your favorite movies of all time??? Across all genres :) love youuuu x

oh helll yes !!!!!! thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about films. i fucking love it. i’m choosing to interpret favourites as in ... comfort movies, films i’ve seen 1000000x, films i can rewatch over and over. they’re not necessarily what i think to be the best movies of all time, just movies that mean a lot to me, that i can quote by heart, etc. 

titanic: i hate to give james cameron rights but he wrote one HELL of a romance and i’ll fight anyone who complains its insta-love or not meaningful when they have such an incredible connection and its SO well written. always in my heart @ rose dawson fav female character ever!! 

1917: i don’t want to talk about it but that’s emotional support wwi movie sir !!! my man george mackay did ALL OF THAT for 2h and got snubbed at every award show.... and people complained it was like watching a video game??? that movie is packed with SO MUCH character detail in such subtle performances i am obsessed with it. william schofield is IT re: traumatized repressed protags. 

the social network: best divorce film of all time. fleabag voice: this is a love story. ahead of its time. visionary. andrew garfield DID that!

pride: found family !!!!! solidarity !!!!!!!!  gay joy !!!! this movie is just IT. like yeah it’s rough and sad at times but it’s just so fucking delightful and comforting. 

captain america: the winter soldier: character-driven action films are SO sexy !! fleabag voice: this is a love story. other mcu films wish. they fucking wish !!!! marvel never topped this and they never will. end of. 

the departed: ok me simping for scorsese is very much my ‘straight male trait’ BUT the departed is one hell of a movie so i deserve a pass. 

star wars: revenge of the sith: i accept zero criticism over this. any prequels haters, the door is right there. i do not want to hear it. we got shakespeare levels of tragedy and drama over here and i LIVE for it. anakin’s downfall is like.... the epicentre of the saga, it is EVERYTHING. and !!!!! rots has the best lightsaber duel in the entirety of the star wars universe. (an argument COULD be made for some clone wars duels like maul/ahsoka but........). i mean best friends turned enemies anakin and obi wan fight on a lava planet ????? A LAVA PLANET ???? while yelling at each other cos they are so mad that they can’t see eye to eye ????? it ends with anakin catching fire ??? and obi wan yelling ‘i loved you’ ?????? the theatrics. the drama. the betrayal. the music. the fact that the stunt coordinator whose third eye is wide wide open said it was designed like an argument between a husband and a wife. i mean, you’re gonna look me in the eye and tell me any of the rey and kyle ron’s lightsaber duels even come close to that???? pffff. p l e a s e. revenge of the sith is IT. 

anastasia: 20th fox’s anastasia has like... zero historical facts and i love every second of it. it’s romantic as hell, has a better soundtrack than most disney films, has an iconic villain AND it’s actually quite touching. if we forget the fact that the romanovs were terrible people who made their whole country suffer terribly rip. 

you’ve got mail: my fav romcom. enemies to lovers except its set in BOOKSHOPS and romanticises autumn ?? did they write this for me specifically?? also ft. america’s sweetheart tom hanks as the love interest??? and a leading lady obsessed with p&p ?? he brings her daisies when she’s sick after her store closes because he remembers they’re her favourite flowers :(((( 

the eagle of the ninth: don’t @ me it has scotland and homoeroticism and a stellar soundtrack. is the slave thing fishy? sure. is the attitude re: empires and stuff not great? sure. but i love it despite its flaws. fleabag voice: this is a love story. also a lot of the fics are chef’s kiss so. also not to be this person but jamie bell in this movie is so hot. i mean he’s so hot. his *** energy is off the charts. 

dunkirk:  OH YOU KNOW. me, a war movie stan, a chris nolan stan & a harry styles stan: i’m gonna love this movie ??? a normal ??? amount???? narrator voice: she did not, in fact, love the movie a normal amount. 

lotr: fellowship of the ring: i mean does it even need an explanation?? it’s fellowship. every second is perfect. yes, even the weird elrond transition while frodo is ill at rivendell. and my man boromir breaks my heart the whole time. the ULTIMATE comfort movie. just joy joy joy joy. i mean tremendous pain too lots of it is really sad, but joy. i’m due for a rewatch soon. 

labyrinth: this movie is WEIRD in the best most fun way !!!! it has an amazing female empowerment finale AND david bowie being iconic looking like THAT the whole time ?? FAV. 

mulan (1998): bi !!!!! rights !!!!!!! bi4bi jocks !!!! has the best disney song in ‘i’ll make a man out of you’. no i don’t accept constructive criticism.

pride and prejudice (2005): does it need saying??? hand flex! proposal in the rain !! keira knightley looking like that !! 

i mean there’s a lot more lbr but that’s all i can think of rn lol

[slytherin-team]

Some thoughts about similarities between Snape and Petunia and how Lily reacts to both of them -

 In Snape’s memories, when Lily and Petunia are on platform 9 ¾ together, it starts out with Lily apologizing to Petunia and insisting that she’ll get Dumbledore to let her go to Hogwarts too. Although Lily clearly feels bad for her older sister (and presumably would feel more comfortable leaving home with her by her side) and is trying to placate her in some way, Petunia’s pride gets in the way. She responds (this is straight outta the book):

 “I don’t – want – to – go!” Petunia had spat as she dragged her hand back out of her sister’s grasp. “You think I want to go to some stupid castle and learn to be a – a…” Her pale eyes roved over the platform, over the cats mewling in their owners’ arms, over the owls, fluttering and hooting at each other in cages, some already in their long black robes, loading trunks onto the scarlet steam engine or else greeting one another with glad cries after a summer apart. “ – you think I want to be a – a freak?” 

Petunia, feeling like she needs to protect and preserve her ego, ends up saying something deeply hurtful to her sister.

In Snape’s worst memory, when he’s being bullied - sexually assaulted really - by James Potter,  Lily steps in and tells James to leave him alone. Severus, like Petunia, doesn’t find Lily helpful in this situation but instead feels that her interference is a blow to his ego as well. Of course, this is when he utters, “I don’t need help from a filthy mudblood like her!” 

So, Petunia hurts Lily by trying to turn her witch nature into a bad thing, something that makes her “freaky,” while Severus hurts Lily by trying to turn her muggle heritage into a bad thing, something that makes her “impure” and dirty.

Of course, Petunia, being Lily’s sister, has magical heritage because it has been explained that muggleborns are usually the result of a squib ancestor who integrated into the muggle world, and Petunia, for the rest of her life, can never seem to fully sever ties with anything magic related - it always comes back to her because even with her lack of powers, it’s part of who she is actually. 

Likewise, Snape’s father is a muggle, just as Voldemort’s father was, and although being a “half-blood” is a step up the totem pole from being full-on muggleborn, the pure bloods at the top will still look down on you. We never learn why Snape remained in his childhood home at Spinner’s End, but it seems that like Petunia, he could never fully sever ties with his muggle heritage. So the way they both go about hurting Lily is ironic.

Now let’s talk about how Lily reacts in almost the same way to both of them,

First, this is how she responds to Petunia insisting that she really doesn’t want to go to Hogwarts and calling her a freak (straight outta the book again):

Lily glanced toward her parents, who were looking around the platform with an air of wholehearted enjoyment, drinking in the scene. Then she looked back at her sister, and her voice was low and fierce.

"You didn't think it was such a freak's school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you."

Lily gets vindictive when being insulted and I certainly don’t blame her. She’s kind and goodhearted but she’s no doormat. Good for her.

After Severus declines Lily’s help and calls her a mudblood, this is how she responds:

Lily blinked. “Fine,” she said, obviously hurt. “I won’t bother in the future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.”

Again, she has a spiteful retort for someone declining her help and insulting her, and naturally I don’t blame her.  However, if she detested Jame’s behavior so much, as she claimed, then it is disappointing to see her using his disparaging nickname for Severus and commenting on his pants (which means underpants here).

There’s also something about her suppressing a smirk or laughter when Severus is initially thrown into the air by James I think, like she does find it funny but also knows it’s wrong.

We know Severus calling Lily a mudblood was the final straw and what ended their friendship. It seems Petunia calling Lily a freak, and deciding from that moment on to resent the magical world, had the same effect. Of course, being her sister, she still remains in her life in some way but there’s no intimacy in their relationship as teens or adults it seems, just familial obligation.

Personally, I get a kick out of how much Petunia and Severus hate each other for shallow reasons (class, muggle status, wizard status, etc) and yet are almost exactly alike.  They always let their pride get in the way and they both end up as very bitter adults who treat Harry terribly and yet do give him the protection he needs. In short, this is why I ship them together. I basically just wanna jump into the book and be like “sorry but you guys are the same and you just need to accept that, and then start a really fiery star-crossed lovers romance with each other.” *shrugs* Maybe that’s just me.... >.<

I can never fully form an opinion on Lily since we get so little of her but I think the scorn she receives from her sister for being a witch, complicated by her muggle parents thinking it’s like the coolest thing ever, and then entering the wizarding world and realizing some people see her as a “mudblood” and coming of age in the time of Voldemort, must have had quite an impact on her sense of self and her understanding of her place in the world. She’s presented as so perfect but underneath it all, she’s dealing with a lot of complex issues and she’s shown to really bite back at people, for good reasons, but still, she seems to derive satisfaction from that.

These three characters and their dynamics overshadow everything else in hp for me, which is funny because in a series about magic these family and friendship dynamics couldn’t be more mundane, but I’m really drawn to the layers they add to the characters, the story, and the bigger universe of the series.

Not to mention, I like the marauders era, which of course includes Lily, Severus and Petunia as kids/teens, and all the characters from that era (or at least how I imagine a lot of them) way more than Harry’s era and the characters of his era. There’s something very appealing about the nostalgia and tragedy of the marauders era as well, and the former is super relatable, especially as I get older.

[grapejuiceproductions]

The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet

I want to start by saying I'm so sorry for how long this is, but I had to get it all out.

So my mom has decided to come out of retirement to teach English 1 and 2 this school year because of the critical shortage of teachers. Now my mom, may the saints bless her, is a history teacher. She has taught history for nearly thirty years, she's good at what she does and there's no doubt in my mind that she's going to be a phenomenal English teacher as well. Like almost any English 1 class in any public school, they teach Romeo and Juliet.

As we are getting her room ready, making lesson plans, catching up with the technology and all that, she hands me her phone and it's a Tic Tok video of some kind of tissue paper boarder and she's like make this for the whiteboards. So I do. As I am cutting up the tissue paper she and her fellow English teacher are talking about Romeo and Juliet. Cue my rant.

Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy. That's it. There is no if, and's, or but's about it. William Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet as a tragedy. When it's taught in schools, I see that fact getting lost in the idea that it's the greatest love story ever written. It's not. Romeo and Juliet is a story about two teenagers who have no idea what they are doing and have extremely poor impulse control. Juliet is fourteen during the events that happen. Fourteen. Does anyone remember what they were like at fourteen? I wager it wasn't pretty.

She is clearly spoiled as the only daughter of a very wealthy family. The two families are also minor nobility. She is expected to marry to better her family's standing in society. At fourteen, her hormones are completely out of whack and her brain is in the process of rewiring itself into a more adult-like mentality. At fourteen teenagers are driven almost entirely by their emotions and the more reactive amygdala than the frontal cortex. This change continues even into adulthood. Because of the stage of brain development teenagers are more likely to get into fights, act on their impulses, misunderstand social cues, get into all kinds of accidents, and engage in risky or dangerous behaviors. Sound familiar?

Teenagers have also been proven to be less likely to think before they act, less likely to consider the consequences of their actions, and they are less likely to change their dangerous behaviors. That isn't to say that teens can't make good decisions or know right from wrong, they just don't always stop to take things into consideration before acting. The political situation of Verona also has to be taken into consideration.

Verona is ruled by the Prince who is the Judge, Jury, and Executioner of the people. Verona also isn't terribly large and seems to be more of a city-state than anything. The two families have been feuding for literal generations at this point and everyone is pretty tired of their Hatfield/McCoy impression (and yes I am aware that Hatfield/McCoy was well after Romeo and Juliet). Now, in the story, Romeo is a few years older than Juliet, most people estimate about seventeen. In the beginning, we see him pining for Rosaline who he claimed to love more than anything and who has told him to get lost. Romeo gets convinced to sneak into the Capulet party and there he sees Juliet. Boom! Instant love.

Bullshit.

Romeo is seventeen, he doesn't know what he wants and he proves to be incredibly fickle when he so easily casts aside his love for Rosaline. Juliet, being so young, was incredibly vulnerable to Romeo and his attentions. He was a handsome older boy who was whispering sweet nothings and claiming to love her. Add in the forbidden romance angle...she never stood a chance. It was more than likely that Juliet had been very sheltered because of her position in her family and society as well as her age. Telling a teenager they can't do something is almost guaranteed to make sure the teen does exactly that thing you didn't want them to do. Again, it all goes back to developing brain chemistry.

Most people think that the events in the story happen over a long period of time, but it actually happens over about four days. Their entire relationship was purely impulse-driven. At that stage, they would have been in the attraction phase which produces that can't-focus-on-anything-but feeling. This is present in the way Juliet and Romeo both react to their separation after the party. Basically, their brains have forced them to be addicted to each other. Combine that with poor impulse control and the questionable ability to think before acting and you have a very dangerous combination.

The pair marry in secret, literally the day after they meet and everything pretty much goes to shit from there. Mercutio and Tybalt fight and Tybalt kills Mercutio. Romeo, having witnessed the death of his beloved friend and been taunted by Tybalt, snaps and kills Tybalt leading to his exile to Mantua. Juliet is informed by her parents that she will marry Count Paris, who is a cousin to the Prince, drastically raising the family's status. Juliet, predictably, throws a fit of epic proportions and is backed into a corner and forced to agree to marry the Count.

The blame for the ending of Romeo and Juliet could not solely be laid at the feet of teenage hormones and shoddy brain chemistry. Friar Lawrence also played a large role. It was he who gave the "potion" to Juliet that mimicked death, which sets off the entire ending of the story. Juliet and Romeo both prove their childishness after Tybalt and Mercutio's deaths by saying they would rather die than leave or marry Paris, and they well mean it.

In the end, the story finds Juliet just waking from her coma as Romeo is dying beside her. She was so willing to be with Romeo that she was going to leave everything she had behind to run away with him and Romeo was so "in love" with Juliet that he kills himself to be with his presumed-dead wife. Juliet's choice to kill herself with Romeo's dagger is also significant. Most women who commit suicide choose to do so through poison or cutting their wrists. Stabbing themselves is very rare. The placement of the stab wound is also important because she stabbed low in her stomach, meaning it would have been a long, slow, agonizing death.

The Prince was more than right to take the two families to task for their parts in the deaths. Their feud cost the families dearly in a beloved daughter and a beloved heir. Even the Prince lost family to the fighting. Romeo and Juliet is not a love story of star-crossed lovers. It's a tragedy of two rash, unthinking children who lost their lives due to the prejudice of their parents and their own twisted brain chemistry. It is not a story anyone should want to emulate in any way, shape, or form.

Teenage brain development info: https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/The-Teen-Brain-Behavior-Problem-Solving-and-Decision-Making-095.aspx

Brain Chemistry About Love: https://people.howstuffworks.com/love6.htm

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 3k

Warnings: swearing, angst, implied smut

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 10 Part 12

Part 11

The next few days were monotonous. Most mornings, I would go to the gym. Then I'd head off to work. After work, I'd take Perrin for a walk. We stopped at the dog park a few times to throw the ball. Then I'd go home and read or watch tv. After dinner, I would FaceTime Liam before falling asleep.

Although I missed him terribly, it had been good to have some space. I was able to think about us a bit. Liam was always great on the phone, a gentleman even. Yes, he flirted with me and made inappropriate comments, but they were always in context. I'd be lying if I said I didn't flirt with him back. But it was nice to get to know him better, and I decided I definitely liked him as a person and a lover. He was sweet, sincere, funny and warm, the same as he was when he was Will. He seemed to accept who I was. There were no digs at me, maybe some friendly ribbing, but it seemed he liked me too. We spent a lot of time laughing. We had a similar sense of humour.

He opened up about some of his past relationships, how he felt about them and what went wrong. A lot of the times, he admitted to fault, especially in the early ones. I talked a bit about Andy but kept a lot back. No doubt, he noticed.

Thursday afternoon changed everything.

Liam called me when I was driving home from work at about four-thirty. It broke with our routine. We usually spoke around nine o'clock. I answered the phone, and Liam's voice came through the speakers.

"Hello, Sweetheart. How was your day?"

I smiled at this now familiar greeting. "Really good, Liam. How was yours? Have you finished work already?"

"Yeah, good. I'm supposed to stay for another hour, but I wasn't needed, so I left." Liam paused and said, "Listen, Lana, I have to tell you something."

"Oh, no."

"Yesterday, a parent from your school saw the pictures of us." I went cold. I was 10 minutes from my house, but I pulled over. "She left a message on one of the pictures that you look like a teacher from her kid's school." Oh shit. "Anyway, this morning, you were on duty at the "kiss and drop", whatever that is."

Robotically I said, "it's where the parents drop the kids off at school without getting out of the car." I could see where this is as going.

"Right." He sounded strange but continued. "Well, they took a picture of you, put that side by side with the others. Long story short, Sarah was called to confirm your name."

"Oh, for fucks sake." I was pissed off. "What did she tell them?"

"She said she couldn't confirm or deny."

"In other words, yes, but my boss said, don't say anything."

"That's a bit unfair, Lana. She can't lie to them, or they won't bother calling her when they get a story. They will just run it because they can't trust what she says."

"Fuck this," I said and hung up on Liam.

I slammed my foot down on the accelerator and spun the tires. I had a Toyota Camry SX. It's sort of sporty, but it's not meant to be driven like that, but I was fuming. Liam rang again, but I ignored it. I backed off and slightly and rounded a corner, tires chirping as I went. I fumbled in my bag, driving one-handed until I found and lit a cigarette. As stupid as it was, I drove the rest of the way home like that.

When I got home, I quickly changed into my Draggin jeans, leather jacket and riding boots. I grabbed my helmet, gloves and went for a ride.

I loved being on the bike. Andy was the first guy I'd been with who rode. I remembered the first time he got me on the bike. He hadn't even let the clutch out, and I screamed and jumped off. The second time was better, and I went around the block before I got off. The third time, I was hooked. I loved holding onto his waist as we rode, my chest pressed against his back, my thighs touching his, my hands under his t-shirt. I loved the heavy thrumming of the bike, the wind whistling past. It was exciting, erotic, but also calming. Calming is what I needed.

I was so angry. Not at Liam or Sarah. Or even the bitch who outed me or the others who put my photo out there in the first place. I didn't know who I was angry with. Hollywood? Gossip? Social media? Myself? Maybe I was mad at myself. I deserved it. I'd turned my back on Andy, fucked another guy, and now I'm in a relationship with him, according to public record. Every time someone googles my name, his will come up.

The parents at school will give me looks, and I won't know what they are thinking. Will they be laughing at me? And if it didn't work out, everyone would know. I would have to go through a break up while everyone watched, picked at it, chose sides and commented.

I rode for about an hour up through the Blue Mountains. When I stopped for petrol at Wentworth Falls, my thoughts had settled, and I was thinking clearer. I stopped at a cafe, got a coffee and checked my phone. Liam had called twice more and sent a few messages. Riza had called and texted me.

I checked Riza's first. It was a link to an article, Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover. Her text simply said, "Jen just found this. Call me if you need me." I didn't click the link.

I checked Liam's. He said he wants to make sure I'm ok. Then he said he wants to come over and talk to me.

I called Liam. He seemed to answer before it even rang. "Sweetheart. Are you ok?" He sounded a bit frantic.

I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I knew you'd be upset."

"Upset is one thing. I snapped at you and blamed Sarah. You're right. It's not her fault."

"Lana, don't worry about that. Did you read the article?"

"No."

Liam was quiet a while. Then he said, "Are you ok now?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. I just needed some time to calm down." I let out a short laugh. "I am a redhead after all. I have a temper."

Liam laughed, "Do I have to be worried about being stabbed in my sleep?"

"Nah, being a redhead wouldn't make me do that. I get that part of me from being a Scorpio."

"I don't know whether to be scared or turned on right now."

I smirked, "Why not be both?"

Liam laughed and then got serious. "You sure you're ok? Do you want me to come over? I almost did get in my car when you wouldn't answer."

"Stalker," I teased.

"And that's why I didn't."

"I'm not at home anyway."

"Where are you?"

"I took off on the bike to clear my head. I'm in the mountains right now."

"The mountains?"

"Yeah, the Blue Mountains. Look west tomorrow, and you'll see them."

"I'll do that." Liam paused. "I'm really looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

"I'm looking forward to seeing you too. Bye, Liam."

"Bye, Sweetheart."

I finished my coffee and rode home.

I texted Riza to let her know I was ok. I played with Perrin. I texted my brother to remind him to pick Perrin up tomorrow afternoon. I ate some dinner before packing my bag for tomorrow and went to bed. It was a long time before I finally fell into a restless sleep.

Liam Cross's Secret Aussie Lover

"Pictures of Liam Cross, 38, with an unknown female were circulating on social media earlier this week, and tongues were set wagging.

"Users were quick to put their detective hats on and tracked down Cross's new flame late yesterday. The woman was identified as Mrs Alana Walker, 30, Sydneysider, and special education teacher. Not much else is known about Mrs Walker other than she was widowed in 2017.  Her husband, Andrew Walker, and father Brian Kelly were killed in a horrific Boxing Day crash when his car was destroyed by a truck driver who had a medical incident behind the wheel.

"Sources close to Cross say that he has been elated the past couple of months, and now they know why. They hope for his sake that this relationship will not be plagued by scandal like his previous relationships.

"For now, Cross's camp is remaining tight-lipped on the situation. While they don't deny a relationship, they will not confirm it.

"Cross is currently in Sydney for an adaptation of the widely popular and romantic fantasy epic Beyond the Stones series by C. W. Taylor. He will co-star alongside Australian Myra Roberts with an expected release in the northern hemisphere winter of 2022."

I woke on Friday morning and laid in bed for a while. I should have gone to the gym, but I just couldn't get my body to move. I wanted to chuck a sickie, blow off the whole day, maybe go for a swim, or just watch movies all day. I had an urge to watch Kill Bill for some reason. But I couldn't do that to the kids.

I knew I was just trying to avoid the parents at school. I'm sure most of them know by now. Gossip runs rampant at the school gate. We've all seen Big Little Lies. Probably all the staff knew too. It was one of those days where I wish I could just press fast forward and get to the part where I see Liam again. I didn't want to miss out on that.

In the end, I got up, showered and got ready for work. I tamed my hair, put on my war paint and dressed in black work pants, ballet flats and a pink knitted cardigan.

I started to pack my bag for the weekend, trying to work out what outfits I needed. I had decided what I wanted to wear for dinner tonight, but I didn't know what to wear to bed. Would I even need anything to wear? I blushed at the thought. I packed a basic set of pyjamas. I added jeans and a couple of t-shirts, a hoodie and my Dr Martens. I put some pretty underwear in there too. I didn't have much, just a white lace set which Liam had already seen and two black lace sets. I packed them all.

My phone beeped, and I got a message from Liam. It was a picture of his face all sweaty from working out. He had his tongue sticking out. He had written, I was going to send you a picture of my cock but thought that was a bit vulgar. So I decided to send you a picture of another part of my body that's going to fuck you tonight. Can't wait x.

My whole body grew hot, my stomach filled with butterflies, and I giggled. I started to reply with 'cheeky bastard', but then I had an idea. I sent him a picture of my face with my mouth open in an O shape, and I rested a finger on the corner of my lower lip. I wrote, I was going to send you a picture of my pussy but thought it was a bit obvious. So I sent you a picture of another part of my body that's going to get fucked tonight. X

Within a minute, I got a reply of: Game on, Sweetheart.

Well, if Liam wants to play a game, I can play a game.

I pulled my pyjamas out of my bag and put in a satin shift, pretty much my only sexy bedclothes. I thought about what other sexy photos I could take and packed a few other things. Then I made my lunch and headed off to work.

I rang Riza on the way to work. She asked me about how I was feeling. I told her I was dealing with it, but I said no more about it. I asked Riza about how she and Jen were going, and she said we would meet up soon.

"I miss you," she said.

"Yeah, I miss you too. Talk soon, ok?"

"Yeah, have a good weekend slut! Tell Liam I said hi."

"Suck a dick Riz."

We hung up, and almost immediately, Dave calls.

He doesn't say hello or anything, just launches in with, "Are you dating Liam Cross?" Fuck. "One of Lucy's friends just sent her an article about you and him."

No use denying it then. "Yeah, I am. He's the one I'm spending the weekend with." I braced for his reply.

"Fuck me dead. My fucking little sister is rooting Liam fucking Cross." His voice didn't sound angry. He sounded impressed.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not a big deal. Just don't forget to get Perrin and don't tell Mum."

"Not a big deal? The kids will go crazy when they meet him."

"Dave, we are hardly at the point where we are meeting families."

"Yeah, alright, keep your shirt on."

"I'll come by Sunday arvo to pick Perrin up?"

"Wanna stay for dinner?"

"Yeah, ok. See you then."

I ended the call and got to work not long after that. I went straight to my classroom, trying to avoid everyone. There was one person I couldn't avoid, and that was Marla, my teacher's aide. She was in her late 50s, though, so I thought she would be pretty safe. She didn't mention anything all morning, which was a relief.

At lunchtime, I stayed in the classroom. I told Marla I had some work to do, so she left me alone. I checked my phone and found a message from Liam.

It was a picture of Liam drinking from a bottle of pineapple juice, and it said, Me hydrating for tonight x.

His innuendo made me chuckle, but I had planned for something like this. I took a selfie of myself with a banana in my mouth and sent it with the caption: Presumptive much? Me carbo-loading for tonight.

Liam replied a little later with, I can't decide if I'm winning because my pics are better or if I'm still winning because yours are better.

Marla came back into the classroom about halfway through lunch. She pottered around the room, trying to look busy. She kept looking over at me. I felt myself start to panic. She wasn't acting like that this morning. She must know now. They all must know. I started wondering what everyone was saying about me in the staff room. They had probably sent Marla back to the classroom to see what information they could get out of me. The panic receded, and anger filled the void.

Eventually, I lost my temper. "Have you got something to say, Marla?"

Marla had the good grace to look ashamed. "No. Nothing."

I crossed my arms. "What are they saying?"

Marla sighed, "honestly? They're mostly pretty stoked about it. Happy for you."

I let my arms fall. My vision went a bit blurry. "Really?"

Marla came over and leaned against the table, and rubbed my back. "Oh, Darl, yeah, most of us remember what it was like for you. We just want you to be happy."

I smiled at her, but the tears still came. Marla gave me a tissue. "Thanks, Marla." I sniffed, "ugh, the parents, though. I'm not looking forward to that."

Marla smiled and said, "don't worry about it, Darl. I'll fill in for ya this arvo, and you can do my Wednesday lunch duty. How's that?" I thanked her. Relieved, I hugged her and cleaned myself up.

When school had finished, I made a mad dash to the car park. I knew I was just putting off the inevitable. I'd have to show my face in front of the parents sooner or later, but I decided it was Monday's problem.

I checked my phone before I headed off to Liam's place. He had sent me a shirtless picture of himself with some rope curled up around his shoulder and written, One of my costumes has a rope. It made me think of you. I'm about to leave. See you soon.

Dammit, I couldn't think of a response to that one! I sat and thought about it for ages. I was not about to give in easily. Then it came to me. I got my water bottle and one of my spare undies from my overnight bag. I wet them a bit, put the underwear and water bottle on the bag and took a picture of them both. I wrote. My water bottle leaked in my bag, and my panties got wet. It made me think of you. I'm on my way.

The three circles came up within seconds, and Liam sent, You are in so much trouble, Sweetheart. Park around the back.

And because I can't control my tongue in real life or texts, I wrote back, That's what she said.

I didn't wait for a reply. I just put an audiobook on and drove.

Part 12

[mnthpprt]

Chapter 20: The Actress Drops Her Mask

[edited to add my cover because a couple people liked the last one]

“What a terrible composition.” Several minutes into the sonata, a man standing nearby begins to complain. “I don’t understand why the host likes him so much, that hornswoggler can’t even play well.”

I turn to the man, and raise an eyebrow upon seeing the rounded, short-nailed fingers gripping his glass close to his face. A jealous pianist, no doubt. And a very drunk one, too.

“Really? I’ve heard some people claim him to be Mozart reborn,” I say, nonchalant, and hold back a smile. If only he knew. Thankfully, no one seems to be paying attention to us.

“Then those people are imbeciles!” he declares angrily before downing what’s left in his glass. After he regains his composure, he gets uncomfortably close to me. “What is a belle mademoiselle like yourself doing all alone here?”

Shit, apparently some men will be gross regardless of the time’s customs.

“Actually, I came here with...”

Halfway through my sentence, I spot Shakespeare talking to another gentleman, not too far from us. I wave my hand in the air to catch his attention, and soon he is walking towards us.

“Guillaume!” I exclaim, and curl my arm around his. “You know I hate it when you leave me alone like that, my love.” Unfazed by my whining, he plays along without missing a beat and reaches up to stroke my cheek.

“My sweet rose, thou knowest I shall always come back to thee. For where thou art, there is the world itself, and where thou art not, desolation.” I recognize the quote from one of his plays, but I fail to remember which one.

“Oh, Guillaume, you’re making me blush!” I pull him closer, effortlessly playing the role of the smitten lover, and lean up to whisper into his ear through a fake smile. “Get me out of here.”

“Let us go out into the balcony, my dearest Anaïs,” he says, wrapping his arm around my waist. “We shall find more privacy there, where thou shall need not whisper these sweet nothings that make my heart flutter.”

The second we set foot outside, hidden from view, I let go and step away from him.

“Thanks,” I say before taking a much needed sip of champagne. “That man is green with envy, it was insufferable. By the way, I hate roses,” I chuckle, remembering the nickname he gave me.

“But thy beauty is that of the most lovely flower. Besides, it is always my pleasure to aid a damsel in distress,” he smiles, and I roll my eyes. A damsel in distress? Please, I practically dragged him here.

I look inside to make sure no one is watching, and proceed to set my glass on the stone railing and lift the hem of my dress, this time to grab the box of cigarillos tied to my left leg. Shakespeare observes me in silence, and shakes his head when I offer one. I light mine and lean on the balustrade, inhaling a deep puff of smoke.

“Thou art full of surprises, Anaïs,” he finally speaks. “I knew when I laid eyes upon thee that thou art not an ordinary woman.” I perk up and look at him.

“Did le Comte not tell you? I’m from the 21st century.”

“I was aware of thou being a guest of his, but he neglected to mention thou hadst traveled through time as well,” he says, his mismatched eyes shining with curiosity. They almost look like they’re glowing, like a cat’s. He gives me a tilted smile. “Thou art quite the actress, I must say.”

I playfully take a bow, stifling a laugh.

“You’re not too bad yourself. Although I should expect nothing less, from the great Bard of Avon himself,” I say, lifting the cigarillo to my lips. I thoughtfully look out from the balcony and breathe out the smoke before turning to face him again, my eyes narrowed. “Did you write ‘The Taming of the Shrew’ as a tragedy or a comedy?”

“A tragedy,” he answers immediately, and a satisfied smile grows on my face.

“Carlos owes me 50 pounds.” He tilts his head at my celebratory statement. “I just won a bet against a friend,” I explain. “There is a lot of debate in the future about how the play is supposed to be interpreted. The general consensus is that it’s a comedy. My friend Carlos studies literature, and he thinks the misogyny portrayed is just a product of its time, but I always thought you were making a point. Same for ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Isn’t that one a comedy?”

“Of course, what else could it be?” he laughs.

“See? They got everything backwards.” I sip my champagne. “Two literal children commit suicide after knowing each other for... what, like three days? Yet people still see it as the epitome of romance. I don’t get it.”

“Most people lacketh the insight to see what thou see, it appears. Which is why I only base my plays on those whom are extraordinary, for I have lost interest in the unremarkable dealings of lesser gents.” He pauses and glances at the ballroom. “It soundeth like Mozart hath ended his performance.”

He’s right, the music has stopped. I put out my cigarillo and return the box to its place under my dress.

“I better go before he starts looking for me. I enjoyed our talk, William.” I smile and excuse myself with a nod before heading back inside.

I discard my glass on a nearby table when spot him in the crowd, receiving the praises of a small group of people. Were it not for his striking white hair, I don’t think I would have recognized him. He’s acting like a completely different person.

“I do not deserve your kind words, monsieur,” he tells one of the men, the same one with the beard that went on the stage before. I assume he is the host of the ball. He puts his arm around my back when I enter the circle. “This is my companion, Anaïs Bertran,” he introduces me with a charming smile I did not think he was capable of.

“Pleasure to meet you, mademoiselle Bertran,” he greets me, taking my hand when I hold it out. By now, I have learned the basics of social etiquette in this period. “When I heard you were a guest of my dear friend Saint Germain I could not wait to have you here,” he tells me. I guess ‘Guillaume’ filled him in on some details. “Oh, how rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself! Pardon me, mademoiselle. Marcel Rossignol, at your disposal.”

“Thank you for inviting me, monsieur Rossignol,” I say with a polite smile. “Tonight has been lovely so far”

“I am glad to hear that. It is about to get even better. I trust you like waltz?”

Before I can answer, the small band that now takes up the stage begins playing, and ‘Wolfram Theophilus Perti’ extends his hand for me to take, to the delight of the group, who observe us in fascination.

“Will you dance with me, Anaïs?”

“It would be my pleasure, Wolf.” I take his hand and he guides me to the center of the ballroom. Out of the corner of my eye, I could swear I just saw a young lady swoon, and I can’t help but quietly agree with the sentiment. With his insufferably haughty attitude kept in check, Mozart seems to be quite the charmer. Not to mention how incredibly beautiful he is.

He leads effortlessly, and I follow his impeccably coordinated steps with his hand on my waist and mine on his shoulder. The dance itself is easy, like skating without the wheels. Once he knows I can keep up, he twirls us into increasingly elaborate moves, carefully avoiding other couples that have joined us.

“I am surprised you haven’t tripped yet,” he says, suddenly reminding me who my dance partner is.

“God, you’re the worst.”

He sends me on a spin with incredible speed, which I interpret as retaliation for my remark. This is his passive aggressive way of challenging me.

“Where did you learn to dance like this?” I ask once we slow down.

“My father was always strict and obsessed with perfection. Socializing is part of being a musician, especially when the aristocracy is involved. I hate it with a passion, but I do what I have to. For the music.”

“Oh.” This is the most he’s ever talked to me, and I don’t really know how to respond. Before I can think of something to say, he ends our brief conversation by spinning me around once again.

By the time the song ends, I need to catch my breath. Mozart’s surprising agility is incredibly hard to keep up with, and I am exhausted from the effort it took to prove him wrong and avoid stepping on his feet. It was undeniably fun, however, and I enjoyed the challenge. The next song is slower, which provides a much needed break for my concentration and an excellent opportunity to keep talking. I am intrigued by this beautiful man, and his cold demeanor just makes me want to tear down his walls even more.

“I like how passionate you are about what you do,” I tell him. “I wish I was more like you in that sense.” I mean every word of it. Mozart is so devoted to his music that he has become one with it, to the point of using it as his language. During the week and a half that I have stayed at the mansion, I couldn’t help but notice how his emotions are so clearly displayed through the songs he plays. When I bring him hot chocolate, his melodies tend to become light and comforting. A few days ago, his music sheets flew out the window of his room. After I went to return them, the notes became fast and aggressive, because he was upset that the papers had become soiled from falling in the garden. What he feels is bare for all to hear, despite how emotionless he acts. One only needs to listen.

“Why?” he simply asks. It’s like he can’t understand what I am saying.

“What do you mean, why?” He just stares blankly at me as we keep dancing. At least he is no longer spinning until I get dizzy. “To have something to live for. To have a purpose,” I answer. To me, it’s obvious. “I’m just going through the motions, you know? Like waltz. I take the same steps every day, just to keep moving. I breathe, I eat, and I sleep. I water the flowers, I read... And all for what? I just feel like I keep waiting for something, but I have no idea what that is. I’ll be stuck in this pointless cycle until the day I die.”

I want to blame the champagne on an empty stomach, but to be fair, he’s the one who asked. After making me realize how tired I am of pretending, no less. Everything’s fine, I tell myself, ignoring every single thing that makes it not fine. In truth, I am merely surviving, keeping myself busy to forget how much I wish I could just... become a lump of moss, or something. That would be an easier existence. No consciousness, no problems.

“You sound like Jean.” I have no idea what that means, but I don’t bother to ask. “It’s not pointless... You make good chocolate.”

I chuckle at the compliment. This is the first positive thing Mozart has ever said to me. I look up at him as we dance, and am surprised to see him smile. It is so faint, but undoubtedly genuine this time, and the light tug at the corners of his mouth makes me feel better. I am starting to like him.

“That shall be my newfound purpose, then,” I joke, mirroring his smile. “Making you chocolate.”

The song comes to an end, and Mozart leads me away from the dance floor. He finds Rossignol and lets him know that we must leave, before thanking him for the evening. Though it is still early, I don’t complain. I think I want to get out of here too.