#he is not a romancable npc tho

[minionsuncle]

Hello people my Stardew Valley oc (not farmer)

He’s a pilot that crash lands near the town one day and that likes the people so much he decides to move there.

He came to me in a dream and he was disappointed i gave marnie one of my ducks. Colorscheme + portraits he’d have + discord screenshots detailing his story (ft my friend Jamie the goat)

Tldr mechanically he’d let you ride on his plane and unlock a new area more urban/city like the main draws would be a big mall and a sewer like dungeon

[good-death-for-the-lonely]

maybe it's nothing, but it does do me a sad whenever i see ppl talk about characters from a game where can be romanced by anyone regardless of gender, and ppl say "oh this character is so gay!! this character is super gay!!" and not like...call them bisexual/pansexual. like ever. at all. sometimes ive seen ppl get *offended* when u call a canonly multisexual character bi/pan :/ i wish more ppl were enthusiastic about canon bi/pan characters...i say this as a bisexual, i wish ppl cheered for us too :'(

[paladintalis]

I MADE MY DURGE TAV REALLY,,, FINE

his name is stryker thorne (not related to ketheric thorne at all) and he’s an oath of vengeance paladin

[hiddenbeks]

made a dragonborn paladin for a co-op campaign with my brother n im already too attached 😔

[scatmaan]

Got to karlach and she set me on fire💖

[welcometoteyvat]

. windblume

[rocknrollsalad]

rating: t cw: hook up, mentions of sex, nothing on camera but it's implied tags: no upside au, first meeting, animal shelters, another universe another menial job, bad holiday innuendo word count: 1,526

written for @steddiemas prompt "mistletoe"

PART TWO of this thing here (it should stand alone tho)

Eddie lay flat on his back, arms outstretched, somehow still recovering. What the fuck just happened. Good luck? Bad? Eddie still wasn't sure and his brain was mush so no way he was figuring that out now. He’d just gone in to adopt a cat and, sure, yeah, he got a cat (not the one he’d picked out before going in) but it was the signing bonus that had Eddie all confused—and exhausted.

A man far too attractive to be hanging out and “annoying his best friend” as he said, just living life and existing in places Eddie could go was not part of the plan. No fucking way. Yet the guy used his charm and cheesy jokes on Eddie. Talking about kissing under the mistletoe like he'd been sitting there waiting for Eddie to show up. It was nuts.

This was the kind of guy Eddie would dream about. Some dude he caught a glimpse of in the grocery store and an amalgamation of several people that Eddie spent months obsessed over. A created character for fun and fantasy cured only by making some romanceable npc to drop in the game. His friends never let him get those mythical dates.

Instead, this guy was real and throwing himself at Eddie. More affectionate than any of the kittens and twice as adorable, Eddie knew he was in trouble back at the check-in desk. It took one look and Eddie was trying to figure out how to get Steve back to his before he’d learned his name. Nothing had ever worked out so well but Eddie who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth?

The stars aligned or the dimensions changed, whatever it was, it all worked out. Now Steve was just taking a shower like it was a normal Tuesday and he was in his own home. Eddie wasn’t sure if he could trust his legs yet having his world so thoroughly rocked and this guy was humming songs and using up all the hot water. Even in dreams, though, Eddie wasn’t this nice to himself.

With the shower no longer running, it’d be minutes before Steve came back (unless he bolted) and Eddie would be just as he left him. Naked, exhausted, and happier than he’d been in years. The chipper way Steve got up to shower, he was probably coming back for round two. Something Eddie did not think he had the energy for but, dammit, he’d give it his all. What a way to go out.

It wasn't much but Eddie managed to pull a blanket over himself and snag his phone. A part of him was content in this state. He could manage to find some pajamas or whatever, it wasn't as bad as he was pretending. But why? Why not perform a thank you that'd be awkward to say? Let Steve revel in what he'd done to Eddie.

Steve didn't bolt because he was the perfect man, made in the lab of romance and good hair. He came back to Eddie’s room with a smile that disarmed the joke about getting lost on the way to the front door. He knew the man wanted to be here and, god damn, he wanted him here.

With a towel wrapped around his waist and still damp, Steve stood there looking as gorgeous as before, even with flat, freshly washed hair. Cradled in his arm was Mistletoe, the cat Eddie walked out with because Steve turned Eddie into a pushover with the batting of his eyelashes. Who could resist that? Not Eddie. Despite popular opinion, he was, in fact, human.

In the other hand, Steve held two bottles of water. Presumably from Eddie’s fridge but he wouldn’t put it past the guy to have DoorDashed something whilst in the shower.

To make up for the fact that Eddie hadn’t moved, he went for comedy. Looking side to side. “Did I?? God, was this so good I thought I was in my own house? Are we? Where’d you get those?”

Steve tossed the bottles onto the bed, missing Eddie but landing so close they had to be aimed.

“How’d I find the water?” judgment dripped off every syllable.

“Yeah?” Eddie tried, confidence gone. The joke didn’t land. Or maybe it wasn’t formed right. Words were Eddie's thing and it was bullshit even those were failing him. It was going to take more than slaughtering a hot npc to get over this guy when he finally realized what a loser Eddie was.

“You’ll never believe this. I found them in the last place you’d suspect. I poked around all your cupboards and closets but they were in the fridge! So weird.”

Oh, fuck him.

That bitchiness shouldn’t be hot. Why was that so hot? Eddie should have wanted to punch him for it. At least mock him back and crack jokes along with him. Instead, he could almost feel his pupils turning into cartoon hearts.

Who was he turning into? First, adopting a cute little kitten when the least metal name of the lot and now he’s swooning over some guy’s quick but insulting comebacks? Maybe this wasn’t a dream. It was a nightmare.

A half-hearted laugh was enough of a reply for Steve.

“And of all places, man, you keep your fridge in the kitchen. It’s been very surprising here.”

“Fuck off,” Eddie groaned, finally finding a good thought.

Steve climbed back into the other side of the bed, nudging the water toward Eddie again. Saying drink this in every way but actually using the words. Also hot.

“What we should talk about is why your fridge makes you look like a serial killer. You’ve got one expired jar of pickles, two of those gross cheese singles, and a case of water. There isn’t even ketchup, man.”

“The liquor is in the freezer,” Eddie said, taking a pause. There was something better to say there.

“With the body parts.” they both said, a few seconds apart.

Steve gave a condescending pat to Eddie’s chest, proud of him for making it to the joke finally. Eddie wanted to roll over on his stomach to put his chin in his hands and kick his feet in the air. This was disgusting. He hadn’t been this head over heels before and as various love songs started to make sense, he watched his dream man scoop up a pillow to make a comfy spot for the cat.

“You also don’t have…anything, like at all, for Mistletoe,” Steve said.

He cracked open a bottle of water and Eddie thought he was going to take a drink, a logical assumption, but again it was pushed towards Eddie. So Eddie pulled himself up to mostly sit as he leaned against the headboard and squirmed the pillows into something comfortable. He drank the offered water, if only for Steve.

Once he did, Steve picked up the other bottle and opened it for himself. He sat with one leg tucked in and the other dangling off the bed, scratching Mistletoe on the head. Eddie was already planning their forever but the wedding date was getting closer and closer. How long did one have to have a marriage license before saying "I do"?

“Well,” Eddie finally countered. Attitude packed in so he didn’t have to admit the water felt amazing and was, actually, very needed. “I thought I’d go in, see if me and Krampus got along, and then I could swing by the pet store on the way home. Hadn’t really expected to pick up anything…one else.”

Steve wiggled his eyebrows and Eddie imagined if they were any younger, he’d pump his fist in the air like he’d scored the winning goal or whatever.

“Not very responsible of you,” Steve’s eyes narrowed, the judgment was nothing compared to the talk of Eddie’s fridge. This was playful and Eddie had an idea of what was going on.

And before he overthought things, Eddie took a chance he was right. “Thing is, I know a guy at the animal shelter and he…lets me do whatever I want.”

There were a few beats where Steve pretended to think. “For a price.”

“I can’t offer much but what I’ve got is yours.”

As soon as the words came out of his mouth, Eddie regretted them. How disgusting and sappy. Steve was probably going to get up and leave. Eddie would. Hell, he wanted to now. Not Steve, though. He leaned forward, which untucked the towel, and stole a kiss.

Soft, passionate, and curled Eddie’s toes. He was still sensitive enough it earned an unfair reaction and it was almost like Steve knew that. He lingered in Eddie's space, smelling of Eddie's soap, and grinning like the devil.

When Steve slowly pulled back and perched back on the edge of the bed, Eddie said, “Not in front of the children.” and reached out to cover Mistletoe’s eyes.

There was an easy and meaningless eye roll thrown his way. "There go my plans then," Steve teased. "Guess you better get dressed so we can go get this little guy some supplies because…I have plans for the night."

[kotaromita]

Kotaro's breath catches in his throat, feeling Akito's fingertip graze his cheek as they pushed some of his hair out of his face. His face and the clouds are rosy pink. He's so happy...This isn't a prank, right? Akito didn't lose a dare or something, right? He really wanted to spend this time alone with him, be so tender with him...?

This would be a good moment to say it, wouldn't it? 'I like you. I'm in love you, I have been for months, but—' Akito likes Toya. Kotaro doesn't need to ask to know that. It would be a lie to say this didn't feel like a real date! They held hands, Akito lent him his jacket, they shared food and were watching the fucking sunset together. Maybe Akito was attracted to him, but wasn't he just...option two? He's thinking way too much. This is a nice moment. He wants to enjoy this nice moment.

So he won't ruin it by saying something...unnecessary. The stars are just barely visible as it hits twilight. Too much light pollution in Tokyo. Kotaro takes a deep breath, cherishing every sensation in this moment before breaking the listless silence.

"Thanks for today. This was awesome," he says, turning towards Akito. "Do you, um, want your jacket back?"

Closed Starter for @raddogakito

Kotaro waves at Akito enthusiastically from inside carino/carina. After seeing it on "The Late Nite Wednesday Talk Show," he'd begged Akito to come with him. How could he miss out on something as perfectly meant for him as a massive strawberry parfait!? And surely Akito would share with him—and if not, there were plenty of other good looking things they served. He knew what sort of things Akito liked at this point.

[danieyells]

After Hotaburi's chapter i was very curious about Zenji voicelines! Can i ask for them, please?

@yuri-is-online YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT OVERWHELMING ME although I appreciate the concern!! If I get overwhelmed or need a break I just put it aside until I'm ready or have the time and energy and attention span or ideas if necessary haha so no need to worry there 'u' (Also. . .good luck with those fics lolol)

ZENJI IS OUR LAST BOI. Until we get Ed and Lyca anyway. Which will honestly probably be in like. A week or two. Possibly less. I had my suspicions when I first read his that he was a ghost lol knowing he is. . .it gives them a little different feeling I guess haha.

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"Why, hello there, my dear. Suppose we kick off another swanky day here?"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Come now, read those messages out, won't you? They're fan letters for me, aren't they? ...They're not?"

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"You want to know the meaning of my words? I see— I'll have to give you a lecture on romanticism."

"What's this? Well, it's a biwa, of course. It's a biwa just as you are yourself."

what does that mean tho. . .i mean i get what it means but also it feels like it must mean something. . . .

"Girls, be ambitious... Dream big, my dear."

proud women enjoyer zenji kotodama

"A man who's everywhere but can be found nowhere... That's what it means to be an inspired man of the quill."

i think that's just what it means to be a ghost bby. . . . . . . . . . .

"Heh. There's no doubt about it. Zenji Kotodama is once again the most styling man on campus. These glad rags are the cat's pajamas."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Come now, let's depart in search of something sensational."

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Oh, have you come to see me? This is troubling. I'm afraid I'm out of autographs."

where have you been distributing them. . .?

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"What am I doing here? ...I'm people-watching."

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ordinarily I ask for write-ins for my advice salon on the World Wide Web...but tonight, I'm taking it out into the field."

i wonder if he's waiting to encounter people who'll be able to see and hear him or if he's just like. . .genuinely ignoring/forgetting/disregarding that he isn't seen or heard. . .or maybe he was ignored a lot in his lifetime too so he doesn't question that people don't respond. . . .

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"The moon is beautiful... I always look forward to passing the hours in conversation with you and Towa on nights like these."

i thought you didn't hang around jabberwock after dark because the dark was dangerous tho. . .maybe if the moon is big and bright he doesn't mind because it's not as dark lolol

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"My folktale videos? I filmed them at Haku's behest, but I can't imagine these old things will capture my fans' hearts..."

based on that the Urashima Taro video has his voice in it but his character story recording doesn't have him or his voice in it(and Haku deliberately tries to make the background interesting because he knows it'll only be the background and biwa sounds,) I think his voice can be recorded but if he's visibly in the recording it won't be captured? That or Haku has recording equipment that can capture ghost voices, but not images???

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"It truly is the age of YouTube. Can you fathom the romance of my artistry spreading to all four corners of the globe?"

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Every tool has its own knack you've got to acquire to use it properly. Behold— my mastery with a fishing pole!"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"This doll here is special. The moment I met him I felt a destiny such that I knew we couldn't be strangers."

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Oh, I didn't mean to give you a fright... I ought to have expected this. A sudden brush with an inspired man of the quill would take anyone's breath away."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Have you got any siblings, my dear? Why no, I don't mean anything by it. Just a little morning conversation."

i can imagine him looking fondly at his doll as he says he doesn't mean anything by it. His sibling isn't one of the most important things in the world to him or anything. He's just making conversation. btw in Japanese he says "morning talk" which sounds an awful lot like "pillow talk" to me and idk how many people would be comfortable discussing their siblings after the deed--

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Are you going to Mortkranken, my dear? ...I see. No, I don't mean anything by it. Are you hurt? I hope you'll take care."

so while it makes sense for Zenji to ask this as he is noted in his profile to be a worrywart, not to mention he died on campus, but also. . .y'know, his brother lives there.

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. Apparently my footsteps give the general students the heebie-jeebies..."

In Japanese it does clarify that he moves without the sound of footsteps at all because the general students freak out hearing his footsteps since they can't see him

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"A swanky morning calls for a swanky breakfast, and some swanky radio calisthenics."

apparently radio calisthenics are still pretty popular in japan. in any case man are you sure you died like a year ago you sound so old

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Why, Subaru hasn't risen yet. Go ahead and wake him, won't you, my dear? I'll accompany your efforts from here with my biwa."

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"A burst of inspiration has taken hold of me... No. The ghost of artistry has possessed my soul!"

okay well be careful with ghosts taking over your soul you don't have a ton left if you lose that--

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"To be a Darkwick student is to greet danger as an old friend... But I hope that Haku and Subaru have a long life ahead of them."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Zenji Kotodama is a wonderful name, don't you think? A sensational name befitting of my sensational sensibilities."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Trouble sleeping? Then I'll read you a story. How about Urashima Taro?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"I was standing by your pillow last night? Horsefeathers, I'd never. I was there the night before last."

BABY I DON'T THINK THAT'S BETTER. YOU ARE STILL WATCHING THEM SLEEP. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WATCH THEM DO.

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Go ahead and eat. No, don't give me another thought—I'm on a diet, you see. Watching you is enough food for my soul."

you see why i suspected initially that he didn't know he was dead? can you eat at all buddy?? i don't think it's a diet if you've lost the ability to consume food. . . .

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Haku's busy today—film me in his stead, won't you?"

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"I've got a little story about a hapless fool of a man... I'm sure it's hardly worth listening to. I wonder if I'll ever get the chance to share it with you?"

the true stories seem like the ones he wants to avoid. . .'a hapless fool of a man's story that isn't worth listening to but i'd still like to share' sounds an awful lot like it must be about him and his life. . . . In Japanese he says 「救いようのない、馬鹿な男の物語さ」 "it's the story of an irredeemable/hopeless, stupid man.". . .who did you hurt, Zenji?

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"To be able to look into your eyes and bid you good night... I'm the luckiest fella for miles around."

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"Maybe we did meet too late. But it's all right. I promise I'll find you in the next life."

but. . .but we have this life. . .although this is one of the few acknowledgements he really gives of his own ghostly nature. He wants to be able to live with you. To be tangibly there for you, to touch you and support you, to be able to show you off to others. . .but he can't be recognized. He can't be seen or heard but by a select few, it's only thanks to Haku that he can be seen or heard by you. It's too late for something 'real' now. So he can plan for the future. For the next life. He'll find you when you're both alive and then you can do everything you'd want to do with a real physical boyfriend. He promises.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"In spring, the dawn... Red tinges the slowly paling mountain rim... Ah... These mountain fellas must've been goofy for some doll..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"There is hope buried under the cherry trees... It means that spring is the season of chance encounters."

isn't the like. rumor that cherry blossoms are pink because they dye their petals with the blood of corpses buried beneath them or something? i swear i read that somewhere. apparently it comes from a poem. is hope a body buried under a sakura tree. is that where they buried you, Zenji?

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The cherry blossoms of Hotarubi are ephemeral—they bloom only to be quickly washed away by the rain. But I am rather fond of that way of life."

Zenji simultaneously lives in Acceptance and Denial stages of grief it seems lol

(between 8pm and 5am)

"The beauty of the cherry blossoms under the night sky inspired me to pick up my pen... Oh, it has gotten easier to lift."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Have you seen him!? Who? Why, my doll, of course! This is very troubling. I've got to find him before the boogeymen stir!"

. . .somehow this reminds me of the Jiro dialogue where he's like "if Yuri asks where I am, tell him i went to bed, i'm going out" lol if the doll reminds him of Jiro, it seems to make sense that now and then it wanders off on its own. I wonder where it's going though?

(between 11am and 4pm)

"My ideal summer vacation? I wish to lay down my burdens in the springs of Yugawara and pursue my wordsmithery in peace, as so many greats have done before me."

Yugawara is a hot spring town in Japan! Apparently since the Meiji era people would go there for inspiration and such thanks to the atmosphere

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"This master wordsmith studied by the light of fireflies... I see. Haku! Turn out the lights!"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I heard a frightful rumor... Apparently the ghost of a dead student has been spotted around Hotarubi..."

THAT'S YOU. YOU ARE THE SCARY GHOST OF A DEAD STUDENT. PEOPLE CAN SEE YOU MORE BECAUSE IT'S SUMMER.

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Fall is the perfect season for a new book, and I have the perfect one for you... From inspired man of the quill Zenji Kotodama, the fruit of his sweat and blood... "Body.""

(between 11am and 4pm)

"A song for you in the season of the arts... From inspired lute priest Zenji Kotod— Wait, where are you going!?"

why is this the one time 'biwa' is translated to 'lute' lol. . .although 'lute priest' does sound way better than 'biwa priest'

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Gauging the literary significance of this video by something as insignificant as views... Horsefeathers, isn't it?"

yeah!!! don't judge your worth by views or follows, zenji!!!

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I've decided to make you the heroine of my next work... A beautiful princess who bites into a poisoned apple and falls into a deep slumber... and seven of you!"

a fascinating retelling of Snow White. . .Snow White And The Seven Snow Whites. . . .

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"Good morning, fellas! Time for my biwa recital to color the chill of this frigid sunrise! I call it "Six O'Clock in the Morning.""

zenji nO PEOPLE ARE TRYNA SLEEP

(between 11am and 4pm)

"There's a rumor going around that you can hear a biwa playing in the music room when no one's there... I go all the time though, and I've never heard it..."

again. . .that's because it's you. . . .

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"The setting sun... The sky dyed purple... Your beautiful profile, obscured... (gasp) I've been struck by inspiration!! My dear, I have to leave you here!"

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Are you cold? Then let me warm you up... My dear, why are you scooting away? I'll only make you colder...?"

it really seems like he forgets he's a ghost pretty often lmao

His birthday: (June 19th)

"Is this...a birthday present...? (hic) (sob) I'm the luckiest fella around...!"

people don't give him gifts often huh. . .or he's just very emotional. both could be true.

Your birthday:

"I've planned the perfect day to celebrate the miracle of your birth... We'll start with an ode to you, accompanied by my biwa."

he planned you a whole outing or maybe a party! with all day musical accompaniment!! What a sweetheart!!

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year, my dear. I'll be making the first shrine visit with Haku—care to join us?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"My dear...is this for me? (hic) (sob) I'll treasure it always...!"

well given he probably can't eat it. . .fair reaction

White Day: (March 14th)

"I'm sorry... I did try to explain that a biwa recital would make a better gift, but Haku insisted I present you with confections instead..."

thanks haku you a real one lmao although music wouldn't be bad just. . . .

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"No, I would never lie to you. An inspired man spins fiction with his quill, not his mouth, after all."

y'know, i love the honesty! you keep making stories and being open, zenji!

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Why, you gave me quite a fright in that getup! What a marvelously queer celebration this is! So this is the legacy of westernization..."

no the marvelously queer celebrations are in june. although halloween is also marvelously queer sometimes--

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Merry Christmas! I've completed a new fairy tale. May my wishes reach the hearts of children everywhere..."

not a gift for you, but for the children! can a ghoul ghost and a human have--

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"...And they lived happily ever after. How did you like my new story? I'd love to hear your— What? You weren't listening!?"

(13 affinity and above)

"Can you see me? Phew... You've been so quiet, you had me worried, my dear."

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Ah, I'm so relieved you're all right, my dear. I wondered if something had happened on a mission... I'm glad my fears had no teeth."

THAT'S ALL OF EM. He's really. . .he is himself the whole way through huh lol. At the same time when he does acknowledge his ghostliness(and oftentimes he does the exact opposite, simply lacking in self-awareness) he seems a little lonely and regretful. . .I wonder if he was always such a worrywart or if he started worrying more after he died, realizing first hand just how dangerous things could be. I'm surprised how few acknowledgements his doll gets, although I don't think he carries it on the home screen?

I wonder how different his personality was when he was alive. Probably not very different tbh.

ANYWAY IT IS HALF PAST MIDNIGHT FOR ME. BEDTIME.

[xomoosexo]

[everyone talking about the npc george]

ant: who cares about george

sam: yeah I hate gogy

sam: but what if I want to romance him tho

sylvee: he has a wife

sam and ant: *laughing*

[artemis-moonsilver]

Opinions No One Asked For™️: Palia NPC Edition

Auni: I love this kid. I want him to think of me as a cool older sister or cool aunt. I bring him bugs every chance I get

Ashura: I want him to be my dad. Genuinely love him. Serious contender to be my Shepp

Badruu: He really turned the puns up to 11. I love him. Also want him to be my dad. And possibly my Shepp

Caleri: I wasn't too sure about her, but after getting to know her, I feel like we have quite a few similarities. Definitely want to be her friend. Could she be my Shepp? 👀

Chayne: I find him so calming. He also feels dad-like to me. 100% want him as a support figure/father figure regardless of who I choose as my Shepp

Delaila: Love talking to her. Really want to get to know her better at this point (but 100% want her to win all the prizes at farmers markets/festivals)

Einar: Absolutely adorable and I love him. Only platonically tho. I will give him as many Gils and shiny rocks as he wants

Elouisa: I wasn't sure at first, but I LOVE her unhinged theories. I want to be her best friend. I will investigate all the paranormal things with her. Contender for my Shepp. Girl let's go ghost hunting

Eshe: So snobby. So bougie. So bitchy. I wish she could be my Shepp 😫 (if only because it would be entertaining)

Hassian: First impressions? What an asshole. After some time, I am...intrigued. I want to figure him out. I want to know why he is the way he is. Also fucking love Tau, the gooodest boi

Hekla: Honestly... she freaked me out a little for a long time. I'm slowly coming around though

Hodari: Listen, I get it. I see where you all are coming from. But man's just not my type 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jel: Oh Jel, my beloved. I'm not exactly subtle about it. This man is my husband. Sad, skinny, pathetic, dramatic, goth guys are My Type™️. Would marry him like, yesterday 🥀😫🪡🖤😍

Jina: At first I wasn't sure, but the more I talk to her, I'm like, "Jina, my bestie." I'm a PhD student. I feel you. Also, WOMEN IN STEM, HELL YEAH!!!! I have a feeling we're gonna be great friends

Kenji: Not a fan of your extremely privileged life ("Have you tried inheriting property?" 😐😐😐) or the invasive chapaa situation... but I also don't dislike him as much as I thought. I feel like he's playing a role he doesn't really want to, but still enjoying/expecting the high life for little to no effort

Kenyatta: She should be my best friend. I was put off at first, but she is the coolest. I see quite a few aspects of myself in her

Nai'O: I feel like he's the sweetest boi ever. I'm both like, "He deserves better than Kenyatta" and "Kenyatta is good for him." Perhaps the most wholesome NPC

Najuma: I also want to be the cool older sister and/or cool aunt that she never had. This kid is a badass and smart as hell. I wish my friendship with her was better already

Reth: This man. I love him. I'm not sure if it's platonic or romantic yet. All I know is he's one of my favourite NPCs to talk to. He's funny, he's flirty, he's got a Tragic Backstory™️. I'm here for this soup boi whether he wants it or not

Sifuu: Two words: Bad. Ass. It's a crime that we can't romance her. I really want to ask her to be my Shepp, but I'm not sure it's a good fit

Tamala: I'm sorry, Tamala besties, but I just don't like her 😭 I really wanted to like her so bad, but her aggressive flirting paired with her unwillingness to consider me a friend/equal just rubs me the wrong way

Tish: Absolutely beautiful person. I want to be her bffl. That is all

Zeki: Crime Cat, my beloved. He is the most entertaining Shepp option (imo). He's got an eye patch, a gold tooth, and shady practices. I find him amusing. I want him to like me. Share his (dubiously acquired) riches with me. Please accept me into the black market. I won't tell, but I can't promise I'll participate (I probably will 👀)

[randoimago]

Grocery Shopping Together

Fandom: Baldur's Gate

Characters: Dammon

Type of Request: NPC Event Thingy

Note(s): I love Dammon very much and wish there were options to flirt with the NPC's even if there's no full romances (but I'd love to romance all the tieflings tho).

"We are only getting groceries, right?" You can't help but tease your love as you catch Dammon's eyes go from the vegetable stall and drift to another stall that sells various tools.

Dammon gives a small chuckle as he realizes he was caught. "Yes, only groceries this time," he reassures you but you remember how he was eyeing a new hammer earlier.

You continued to walk to various stalls with basic foods and necessities, wanting to get those out of the way. Dammon has been staying focused on the shopping with you, being the one to look over the food to see what's ripe and what can be stored for a few days. But now you couldn't help thinking back to that tool stall.

Dammon hasn't had good tools since getting this job at the forge. Even then it's mostly hand-me downs. The druid grove only had wooden and stone tools. Last Light had rusted tools that Dammon tried to remove the rust from, but it still wasn't the best quality. And now he got some secondhand tools that are already much better, but they're not brand new.

"What's on your mind, dear?" Dammon asks as he puts some money down and carries the bags of groceries. You had offered to help, but he declined stating that he works the forge all day, he can handle carrying some extra bags.

"Just wondering how much money we had," you reply, not quite telling him the truth. He doesn't seem to notice as he tells you and you nod. "How about I take some of the money and we can split up to get the rest?" You suggest and Dammon thinks for a moment.

"If you're sure. We'll meet back here when we're done?" You nod and he gives you a quick peck before you split off to immediately go to that tool stand.

The cost of new tools isn't cheap, but he's made a good bit of gold with his blacksmithing job. You still felt a bit bad by how much you spent, but you know that it's worth it to see the smile on Dammon's face.

"Those don't look like groceries," you state when you see Dammon approaching. He does have extra bags to let you know he did do some shopping, but he also has a bouquet of flowers in one hand.

"You probably could use some of these flowers in cooking," he replies with a smile, not looking at all apologetic about the purchase as he holds the bouquet out to you.

"I suppose we can switch then." Dammon is a bit confused by your words before you fetch the new hammer out of one of your bags and hold it out while taking the bouquet. You see his eyes widen at seeing the gift and a chuckle leaves his lips as he takes it from you, testing the weight in his hand.

"I thought we were only getting groceries," Dammon teases, but the smile on his face and the way his tail wags a bit, almost like a puppy, let's you know he appreciates the gift.

"Well, new tools help you make the money so we can get groceries. So I think it's a fair trade off." Dammon rolls his eyes at you playfully but kisses your forehead lightly.

"Come on, I need to buy you another bouquet as thanks."

[scatmaan]

Played bg3 for so long last night.. gonna play it for so long today

[vampypurplequ33n]

I just imagined the Sides playing Stardew Valley, and I have no regrets for what I say.

————————————

Here’s what I think each of them would do:

Logan would probably be playing the game either like a speed run, or just think of profit. He would avoid the dateable NPCs like the plague and barely grow relationships with anyone. He would be only thinking about the tasks and nothing more. Oh, he’s also definitely finish the community center the quickest out of the other sides. He also has the most organized farm, and he’d only go to the festivals where he knows he can get something out of it, like the strawberry seeds from the egg hunt festival. He also would either sleep too early, or pass out at 2:00 AM. No in between.

Patton would be friends with everyone, have full hearts with them all, and would either marry Harvey or Elliott, mostly cus they fit his type. (Cough cough Janus/Logan) The kids would love him, he’d be full hearts with all the animals in the pen, and it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to not see him without the golden retriever dog. Or the white cat because this is the only game where he can have a car and not be allergic to them. Also, he would avoid the mines like a plague and do all the help wanted requests even if he didn’t have the items right away. I can also see him having a not too organized farm, where 90% of that farm will be saved for animals or be a hot mess, and the 10% just having farmland that’s decently neat after Logan taught him what it could look like for maximum efficiency.

Roman would DEFINITELY have 6 saves with each of the dateable men married on each one. His farm would be AESTHETIC AS HELL with either a shed or a cabin decorated like crazy. He would be in the skull caverns or mines just killing monsters, and he’d be besties with all the female NPCs. He’d be gravitated towards Elliott or Sebastian, and probably join the save with Shane less but would still go because he’d be like “I can FIX HIM!!” Even tho after marriage he goes RIGHT BACK TO SQUARE ONE WITH THIS MAN. After all of that, he’d probably finish the community center after like… maybe year 3 or 4?? And I’m being generous here.

Virgil would choose the Spooky farm, and would ONLY start actively socializing in fall. Only because of the Halloween season. He would avoid all of the NPCs like the plague, and barely want to go to Pierre’s because of social interaction to buy seeds. He’d probably be friends with Abigail and Sebastian, and would definitely develop a crush on either Sam or Alex after maybe year 2- He would also be SUPER anxious about the tasks, sometimes to the point he’d never do them. He’d only go outside to either be in the mines, or on a rainy day. He may also call Elliott a knock off version of Roman, and definitely would say Harvey is Logan. And he would choose any of the cats, but definitely the black one.

Janus would probably say he wouldn’t bother, but would secretly play it for hours after everyone’s gone asleep. His farm would be a mix of Roman’s and Logan’s, with it leaning more towards the Logan side. He would probably call very NPC a knockoff of each of the sides, saying Linus is the closest to Remus but would more so compare him to any hostile mob instead like a slime. He would probably marry either Elliott or Alex, and would probably try to divorce them soon after marriage. He DEFINITELY would cheat his way through occasionally, only to get a loved gift by an NPC, or would get himself extra buffs if he was too lazy. Shit, he’d probably start with the cheats just cus he’d say something like “The start of the game is too slow” or something like that.

Remus…. Oh boy. He would use cheats but use it to get bombs, and explode everything. He also would drink mayo infront of all the NPCs, and gift each of them trash cus he can. He would dig in the trash every single day, and would chop down all the trees. He’d constantly pass out at 2:00 AM, pretty sure he’d be at the Saloon 60% of the time, and would probably romance Sebastian and would make Elliott hate him cus yknow.. he reminds him of Roman.

Y’all can pick the farms they’d most likely pick, but I know Logan would choose the standard farm, Patton would choose the group farm so he could play with the other sides, Roman would maybe choose the meadowlands for the aesthetic, Virgil would choose the Spooky farm, as well as Remus, and Janus would prolly pick the hilltop or forest farm just to say he can be away from everyone.

[gryphonlover]

I’m in a yapping mood so I’ve come to bother you (I’m so sorry), anyways here’s how I think the chain would play BG3:

Time- he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He falls for every trap and he accidentally kills characters he shouldn’t have because he trusted the wrong people. He definitely played the dark urge because he thought “that one looks interesting” but didn’t fully think that choice through, and he was TRYING to be a good person but he’s absolutely given into the evil thoughts by act 2. Doesn’t even realize romancing the characters is an OPTION until Lae’zel comes up to him like “i want you” and then he screams

Wars- He’s still stuck in character creator /j Fr tho he put HOURS into designing his tav and his created like, the most conventionally attractive mf out there (it’s definitely a paladin half high elf with that ONE specific face). He’d romance Wyll (best man in existence) or Lae’zel (terrifying lady). I’d say he plays it for the dating sim but he’s also INSANE and likes attacking people

Twi- He’d play a sweet little tiefling druid. He’s just there for the vibes, he just wants to pet the owlbear cub the rest of the game stresses him out (he’s a stardew valley kinda guy). He stays in the safety of act 1 and just runs around

Sky- he takes his bg3 incredibly seriously, he has over 700 hours. I think he’d be a cleric, every single time. He’s GOOD at combat, he’d good at building the characters, he loves exploring

Hyrule- Ranger. Romanced the emperor because he thought it was funny and then had a LOT of explaining to do when Legend saw he got a trophy for that. He just makes whatever he thinks the funniest choice would be

Legend- He’s one of the few who has the strength to play a different character every play through. He loves exploring the game and he’s romanced all the characters just to see how different they all are and he loves all their lore. Has more hours than Sky but pretends he doesn’t so he doesn’t get judged for being insane

Wild- Wizard or Sorcerer, either way he blows everything up. Pickpockets all the npcs for cash because he thinks its funny, makes HORRIBLE decisions because he’s curious to see what happens. Definitely doesn’t know you can pay Withers to revive people after they die-

Four- plays the exact same dragonborn fighter every single time, but each play through he does gets crazier and crazier until he’s making INSANE decisions and everyone gets the WORST possible endings, but he’s having fun and he likes being evil

Wind- he picked to be a sorcerer, but other than that he randomized everything else and ended up playing a hot pink gnome he named “Ronald”. He’s having the time of his life

-crazylittlejester

This is the best thing I've heard ALL DAY. I'm not kidding. (And you can bother me anytime. That's why the ask ox is open. 👍)

I have to admit, I had the same reaction as Time when I discovered the dating part, and I've never even played the game. 😅

11/10, totally agree. They would love D&D so much, my goodness. Someone needs to make an LU version of that one episode of VLD where all the paladins play a one-session campaign. It would be complete chaos.

[digitalworldbound]

the chosen playing stardew valley headcanons

listen, im obsessed atm. please ignore this incredibly specific headcanon post okay love u

taichi - he only started playing bc hikari insisted. idk he likes the fishing, tho!! he eventually marries abigail bc she, like agumon, will eat most anything.

yamato - he plays a bit in between his classes and thinks that the farming is really relaxing. he eventually marries penny bc he thinks she is sweet. (his character coincidentally looks like sam)

sora - she is gradually getting addicted to stardew valley and spends waaay too long picking out names for her farm animals. she initially tried to romance sam, but switched to shane bc she felt bad and wanted to help him!!! (her blue chicken is named “frosty”)

koushiro - koushiro knows of stardew valley, but he definitely doesn’t have time to play it. plus, watching his friends develop parasocial relationships with pixels is a little concerning. he does help miyako create mods for it, tho!!

mimi - she is obsessed!! she wishes the flower dance were every month and that the pretty colors of spring and summer could last forever. every festival, she spends all of her money on decorations. as soon as possible, she bought the furniture catalog at robin’s and spent HOURSS decorating her farm, house, AND the town. (linus has a little sitting area now!! the mines have flowers all in the entrance!!) she will marry haley every single time. they have two beautiful kids!!

jou - he literally has no idea what the hype around stardew valley is about, but he has seen the harvey thirst traps on tiktok and is happy the public are appreciating healthcare workers!!

takeru - npc interactions are his favorite, tbh. he does his best to give everyone gifts they like, except demetrius. he doesn’t like workaholic fathers for some reason. also, he wishes he could talk like elliott in real life without sounding like a sociopath.

hikari - she has played for over 300 hours. she has a fully functioning farmstead on ginger island and explores skull cavern for FUN. she has well over twelve save files- one for each bachelor and bachelorette she wants to romance. (elliott has been her fav so far - his poetry!!! his rizz!!!)

daisuke - he yearns for the mines.

ken - ken enjoys stardew valley, but only plays casually. (he just wants to have something in common with the others so that they can all talk about it.) he likes maru so far and has formed an attachment to his in-game cat named “miso”.

iori -he likes watching over daisuke’s shoulder as he plays, laughing whever a slime kills him in the mines.

miyako - a leah stan for life. the only thing she loves more than her wife is the DRAMMMAAAA and LORE these characters drop on a random tuesday afternoon. abigail’s heritage?? miyako is SCANDALIZED. alex’s entire exsistence? she is SAT, tissues in hand.