#he is not a man and i will kill someone if they insert that
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Maskless Mark x black male reader
An: Not a lot of black reader fics for Invincible, especially not male ones, so I thought I'd do it myself. The next post will most likely be either an Invincible X Tamaranean reader or a self-indulgent Genshin Self insert post. Or the secret THIRD option: an invincible self-insert post.
CW for major character death (reader), angst, and mild gore.
"Where's Mark, Y/N? You were supposed to drop him off an hour ago."
It was a simple question, one you could've answered easily. Amber and Mark had a bit of a falling out, you two talked for a bit after, and then he went to see Eve. An easy sequence of events to relay.
But the real question was if you wanted to.
You had never seen Omni-man so pissed, especially towards Mark. If you told him where Mark went, would he be safe afterward? You could do that to someone.
Especially not someone you love.
Omni-man's finger gripped the side of your car door, threatening to dent it. "Answer the question, Y/N. Where is Mark?" The words came more impatient and stern than the last, with the 'hero' leaning closer to you and maintaining firm eye contact. Your heart was beating so hard you swore it would just leap out. It raced faster when you noticed the blood on his fingers.
Even still, you couldn't betray Mark.
"He and Amber had a bit of a falling out...?" You murmured, voice small as you gently tugged on a loc. "And uh- he went to the mall to cool off and, um..."
Thunk.
There was now a hand shaped indent in the roof of your car. Omni-man knew you were lying, and his patience with you was near gone.
"One last chance, Y/N. Where. Is. Mark?"
You panicked.
Without a second thought, you slammed your foot down against the pedal and sped off. The roof of your car was now beyond repair and the side was now heavily scratched. You didn't care, though.
You didn't get far.
You were violently dragged out of your car, one side now cut from glass and metal and your neck held in a tight grip.
You were given a chance.
And you wasted it.
But at least it was on love.
The last thing you saw was Omni-man's fist pulling back to punch you.
Crunch.
The scene Mark had returned to was gruesome, to say the least.
Not much in the traditional sense, as it was one person, but to him, it was.
One person lay dead on the street, neck nearly twisted off and face caved in beyond recognition, but Mark knew who it was.
Brown skin. Long black locs. A Seance Dog hoodie that once belonged to him.
It was you.
"I know how much he meant to you, Mark, but you have to understand that our mission is much more important than the life of one person."
Mark didn't look back to his father; he didn't even acknowledge him. Right now, he was focused on you. The life you could've had. The gifts he had wanted to give you. Your plans to go 'hang out' later. He could've had everything with you, but it was taken from him.
You were dead, gone, and yet still he raised a hand to reach out to you.
Omni-man flew closer to Mark, placing a hand on his shoulder. "He was holding you back, son. With him around, you would've never helped me conquer Earth. He needed to go. If you're so distraught, then you can get another pet later. Right now, you need to-"
"You're right, Dad. I wouldn't have ever conquered Earth for Viltrum with him around." Mark interrupted as he finally stopped reaching out. "But after what you did? I don't want you here."
Mark finally turned back to face his father, eyes hollow and numb. "I can see the future, and you don't live to see tomorrow."
It was quiet.
He was finally quiet.
He was heartless, so Mark made sure that he fit that descriptor.
A giant hole in the chest of his 'father.'
He'd never have to listen to him again.
His mother had been killed not that long ago by his 'father.' His friend- no, not friend, you were more than that to him. His everything was killed by him, too. And now his 'father' was dead, leaving poor Mark alone.
He had gotten revenge. Revenge for his mother, revenge for you. But he didn't feel any better.
You were gone.
And he didn't feel any better.
Just empty.
Empty and angry.
Why did everyone else get to live so carefree while you had to die? It wasn't fair.
He'd make it fair.
Tell me if anything is off with the tags or if there are any spelling mistakes.
#invincible x reader#mark grayson x reader#maskless mark#maskless invincible#black reader#male reader#black male reader#cw: gore#cw angst#cw major character death
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I love you and your writing!
Can you please write something for Daenerys targaryen! where the reader is Robert baratheons first born daughter and she basically grows up listening to her father talk shit about the Targaryens.
It ends with her and daenerys kinda like 'enemies' to soulmates.
I know it's not a lot of details but would love if you wrote something like this â¤ď¸đđ
What Remains of War
Requests are closed
- Summary: You came to Essos to kill her and she just might give you the reason to stay.
- Pairing: baratheon!female!reader/Daenerys Targaryen
- Rating: Explicit 18+ (just to be safe)
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @oxymakestheworldgoround @idenyimimdenial
- A/N: The feelings of hate for Dany may or may not be self-inserted. đ
The desert wind chokes your breath with red dust, the taste of Essos clinging to your tongue like the blood that stains your fingers. Your blade is slick with itâthough not from the throat it was meant to slit. The bodies of your men lie scattered like broken toys, hacked down by the impenetrable wall of spears and shields that came upon you with the eerie silence of the Unsullied. You foughtâgods, you fought like your father trained you, like your mother scorned you forâbut in the end, there were too many. They didnât kill you, though. No, they knocked you down, stripped you of your weapons, and bound your hands behind your back as if you were nothing more than a rabid dog to be delivered in chains.
The leather bites into your wrists as youâre dragged through the dusty streets of Meereen, flanked by soldiers with unsmiling faces, their eyes empty of judgment. You spit onto the ground, eyes blazing as the foreign tongues of the people around you chatter with interest, wondering what you did to be brought before her. You don't say her name. Not aloud. Not even in your thoughts. To name her would be to acknowledge herâacknowledge the girl your father called a "Targaryen whore", the last snake that slithered away from the fire, the dragon-bitch with silver hair and delusions of crowns.
You were told it would be easy. In and out. Find her, slit her throat, and be back in Westeros before anyone could say the name "Daenerys." Your father trusted you, not a sellsword, not a knight, but you. His firstborn. His hammer-hearted girl who was always too wild for silks and too clever for court. You were his vengeance dressed in Baratheon black and gold.
But now, you kneel. Forced to. Your pride is bloodied, not broken, but you feel the sting of it behind your ribs, a tight ache that coils like a storm waiting to break.
âSheâs the daughter of Robert Baratheon,â the man who brought you here says, his voice low, gruff, and strangely gentle. You glance up at himâSer Jorah Mormont, your captor. His face is lined with war and sun, but his eyes are sad in a way that makes your stomach twist. âShe came with steel. To kill you.â
You sneer. âSo tell your queen to do it already. Or is she as much a coward as her brother was?â
There is a murmur among the Unsullied, a sharp inhale, a hand on a spear shaft. But Jorah says nothing, only turns and waits.
And then she steps forward.
You think the stories are all liesâhow could someone be so untouched by the world? So radiant? But Daenerys Targaryen is not a girl. She is a vision carved from fire and moonlight, and she looks at you with a gaze that could strip skin from bone. Her hair is braided with silver, her skin glowing gold beneath the sun. She wears nothing regalâno crown, no silks, just leather and linen stained with sandâbut she stands like a queen. She is flanked by three dragons, small still but watching you with hungry, ancient eyes.
âSo,â she says, voice soft as silk and biting as ice, âmy fatherâs killer sends his daughter. Did he think that poetic?â
Your chin lifts. âHe thought it efficient.â
Daenerysâ mouth quirks, just a little. Not a smileâsomething darker, more curious. âAnd you? What did you think?â
You glare up at her, jaw clenched. âI thought dragons should stay dead.â
A silence falls. One of the dragons growls low in its throat. The Unsullied shift slightly. You wonder, for a moment, if sheâll let it eat you here and now.
But instead, Daenerys crouches. She brings herself to your eye level, and the sun catches in her hair like a crown of white fire.
âTell me your name.â
âNo.â
She tilts her head, considering you like something caged and cornered. âYouâd rather die with your fatherâs name in your mouth?â
âIâd rather die than speak to a Targaryen like weâre equals.â
Her gaze hardens, lips pressing into a flat line. But she doesnât rise. Doesnât flinch. âWeâre not equals,â she murmurs. âYou came to kill me. I let you live. That makes me your queen, doesnât it?â
The words burn, searing and raw. You want to spit in her face. You want to lunge forward and finish what you started. But your wrists are bound, your weapons gone, your men turned to corpses.
Instead, you look into her eyesâviolet and endless and maddeningâand something in you falters. Just for a heartbeat.
âIâm not yours,â you whisper, voice ragged.
âNo,â Daenerys says, rising slowly to her full height. âBut youâre mine now. Until I decide otherwise.â
She turns her back on you, and Jorah signals the Unsullied. They lift you roughly to your feet, and you stagger as they lead you away.
You donât look back. But her voice follows you, gentle and terrible.
âStrip her. Wash her. Feed her. No chains.â
And as youâre dragged down the corridor of sandstone and shadow, you feel itâthe shift. The danger. The knowing.
You went to Essos with death in your hands. But something colder and older found you instead.
And her name is Daenerys.
You dream of blood, of steel, of your fatherâs voice howling like a storm through your bones. The Targaryens are a sickness. You end them, or they end you. You wake with your hands clenching invisible blades, breath heavy, sweat clinging to your back like a second skin. For a moment, you forget where you are. Then the scent of myrrh and heat reminds youâMeereen. Her city. Her stronghold. Her prison. And you are still alive. Still bound by something more complicated than chains.
She has not come to see you since that first day. Not herself, at least. Her handmaidens attend you, silent and cautious. They bathe you, dress you in Essosi silks that cling to your body like shame, and feed you food you pretend not to enjoy. You are given a chamber in her pyramid, not a cell, but you feel the bars all the same. The guards do not speak to you, and the other courtiers give you wide berth, like a hound too dangerous to pet. But someone always watches. Always waits.
It is dusk when the door opens againânot one of her handmaids, not the knight, not a guard. Her. Daenerys Targaryen, Queen of the Andals, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and whatever other grand titles they murmur at her feet. She wears no armor. Just a robe of soft blue, trimmed with silver thread, her hair swept into braids so intricate you wonder how many hands touched her to create them. And still, itâs the way she looks at youâfocused and quiet, like a lioness at restâthat makes your pulse beat faster.
âYouâre not sleeping,â she says simply, stepping inside and letting the door close behind her. There are no guards in the hallway tonight. That tells you something.
You lean back against the windowsill, arms crossed. âHard to sleep when the woman I came to kill is three doors down.â You tilt your head. âAlso hard to sleep when your bed is softer than anything Iâve ever touched. Doesnât feel right.â
Her smile is a ghost, faint and unreadable. âI donât imagine youâre used to comfort.â
âOr mercy.â
She steps closer, slow and measured. âMercy is not weakness.â
You laugh bitterly. âTell that to the men you crucified.â
âI didnât crucify them,â she says, voice suddenly sharp, âuntil I saw what they had done to the children.â
You fall silent. That is not a story you heard in Kingâs Landing. Thatâs not a story your father told.
Daenerys walks to the edge of the room, where a small table of carved ebony sits beneath a flickering lantern. She pours herself wine, dark and rich, and then glances back at you.
âWill you drink with me? Or are you still imagining ways to slit my throat?â
You rise, slow, wary. âBoth.â
She pours a second cup anyway and hands it to you. Your fingers brush hers when you take it. Her skin is warmâfever-warm, like a hearth after battle. You sip. Itâs spiced, a Dornish vintage. Of course sheâd have Dornish wine. Of course sheâd like fire on her tongue.
âYouâve been watching me,â you say.
âYes,â she admits without flinching. âYou fascinate me.â
You blink, not expecting honesty. Not expecting that word.
She sits on the couch, leaving space beside her. Not a command, but an invitation. You hesitate only a second before sitting. Not close enough to touch, but close enough to feel the weight of her presence.
âYouâre different than the others,â she says. âMost people want something from me. A crown. A favor. A war. But you wanted me dead.â
You glance at her, lips curling. âThat makes me special?â
âIt makes you honest.â Her eyes search yours. âAnd dangerous. But not stupid.â
You hold her gaze. Her pupils are ringed with violet, too large in the dim light. âI donât know what I am anymore.â
Silence stretches, but not an uncomfortable one. She drinks. You drink. You both look at the horizon outside the window, where the red of sunset bleeds into twilight like a wound healing in reverse.
âWhat was he like?â she asks suddenly, voice barely above a whisper. âYour father.â
You flinch. Thatâs the first time anyoneâs asked you that without scorn or venom. Youâre not sure how to answer.
âHe was⌠a storm,â you say slowly. âLoud. Violent. Always moving. He loved me. In his way. Thought I was the only part of him that made sense. Told me I was born to carry his rage forward.â
Daenerysâ jaw tightens. âAnd your mother?â
âColder. Sharper. Always watching. She said I was too much like him. She hated that.â You shrug. âBut she taught me how to lie. So I guess I got something useful from both.â
A small breath escapes Daenerys, almost a laugh but not quite. âAnd here you are, drinking with a Targaryen.â
You smirk. âDidnât see that in the flames.â
She turns toward you fully then, her bare feet tucked beneath her, eyes searching yours like theyâre trying to see past your skin. âI should hate you. You tried to kill me.â
âYou should,â you whisper.
âBut I donât.â Her voice is steady, her hands resting loosely in her lap. âAnd that terrifies me.â
Your chest tightens, unexpected. Not with guiltâsomething else. Something older. A ripple beneath the surface youâve spent your whole life smoothing. You set down your cup.
âI was taught to hate you,â you say. âSince I could speak. Every time I asked why so many were dead, why there were no Targaryens left, I got the same answer. Because you people werenât meant to survive.â
Daenerys nods once. âAnd yet here we are.â
You donât know who moves first. Maybe itâs her. Maybe itâs you. But suddenly, the space between you vanishes, and your knees are touching, and your hand is resting just beside hers. Not touching. Just almost. And she doesnât pull away. Her eyes flicker to your lips, then to your collarbone, then back to your eyes.
âI donât know what to do with you,â she breathes.
âThen donât do anything,â you whisper. âJust⌠let this be.â
The silence is fragile now. Full of things unsaid, promises neither of you are ready to make. The world is still waiting to break you both. Your fatherâs rage lives in your marrow. Her fire lives in her blood.
But for nowâfor this momentâyou sit beside your enemy, shoulder to shoulder, skin to skin, and let the lines blur like sand between tides.
#game of thrones#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#fire and blood#house of the dragon#house targaryen#house baratheon#got#got/asoiaf#asoiaf x reader#got x reader#got x you#got x y/n#got daenerys#daenerys targaryen#daenerys x famle!reader#daenerys x reader#daenerys x you#daenerys x y/n#x reader#reader insert
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God I could and should write a whole fucking book by the end of this life here on Lev and his symbols
ill write it then burn it before anyone else gets a copy. or i wont. im supposed to be helping him this incarnation here to get a better anchor in this plane so maybe it would help more than itd be weird - im just getting from him the energy of "yeah no people already effectively have these things, people on my plane already know me inside and out to an extensive degree, may as well have it here too" you know. fair
#~abyssal murmurs#ugh god i love his tone saying that tho. i kept trying to prod to see if it was a ''ugh yeah people know me inside and out and Yes Its#Invasive But -'' but no#oh my god man. his like energy towards his people is..... BEFORE I SAY THIS#I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW IM ANTI PROPAGANDA. the biggest reason i dont work with Lu and others is bc theres this tendency to#be like ''we're darkness but also light! we're teachers we're enlightened we're pure in our own way and the kings are here to#teach you how to empower yourselves and they love all worshipers and they reject all tyrannical authority and they are the good guys#against the chrxstian god who (insert specific atrocity that actually was committed by the kings not the 'chrxstian god' - and#''demons'' should KNOW that because it was AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE WAR so either theyre LYING orrrrr) and we're actually#really down to earth and more holy than anyone else bc we're enlightened - i mean uh uh no wait that contradicts us being#against the love and light style of enlightenment chasing'' like. i will tell you that my boss has massacred a lot of people i will tell yo#im anti monarchy and i dont believe that the kings' peoples are any better than 'angels' and i will tell you a lot of innocents on both#sides have been lost bc of royalty and rich families the kings are directly tied to#so i hope you know that when i say the way lev treats his people in his mind is..... holy shit#i pick apart everything he does. ive seen sides of him that are dark af (and i love him for them lmfao) but as soon as his people are#involved... have you ever been w someone getting hot and bothered and a kid walks in that you thought was sleeping and you just switch#completely into parent mode like. he'll have complex fictions w me helping me write stories about corrupt monarchies and shit#and then no. he is like. hes very good at mindset switching and going immediately into different faces but i swear#his ''i am a king and a king is a head of a mass of people - a king is a servant to his people'' mode is like. impenetrable#he is so. fucking intensely single-minded and trained to be a king unlike anyone else. anyway what was i talking about#OH YEAH. his tone w what i wrote in the post. was so switched into that mode of ''my viscera is theirs to eat as Im splayed on their table#and this is divine ruling. this is my purpose with them'' type shit. PURE thought. there is no other energy i can find in it other than#pure ''this is my job and i do it''. pure as in distilled. a pure tone like a sine wave played on a synth as opposed to a string plucked#leviathan //#ive. im nervous about saying the shit ive said here lmfao but ive had his OK before to say it ALSO. AS I SAID. theres no way his people#dont know the massacre was done by the kings lmfao. like. yall were involved. and also you all have to know that one of the#people that pretends to be the christian god is. two of the kings actually and since lev commonly appears to people and lets them#decide who he is bc hes never arsed making a show of Being Leviathan and whatnot im sure hes been called God plenty of times#too but like. cmon. I dont know who started the ''oh the uh the invading heaven and killing off half the population was the#chrxstian god'' rumour but i was first exposed to it through lu and (his wife) worshipers so yall get the blame - that said...
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This is my first time requesting something but HEAR ME OUT, "Slow Cuddle-fucking with og Sukuna while he is holding (and caressing) Reader (His wife) tightly and praising her (with him having size(difference) and breeding kink) oneshot please please please PLEASESSSđ


đ. đ§đ¨đđ: NAH CUZ I SEE THE VISION, HOLD ONâ
âš đđ¨đ§đđđ§đđŹ: true form! Sukuna x fem! reader - explicit content; minors DNI - size difference - monster-fucking (he got 2 dicks, y'all) - double penetration; anal and vaginal - spooning dp position - breast fondling + nipple play - breeding kink - clitoral play (pinching and swiping) - dacryphilia - pet names ([little]dove, good girl, my wife, woman) - soft! kuna, but not too OOC - mention of drool/spit and tears.
âš đ°đ¨đŤđ đđ¨đŽđ§đ: 1.5k

âStay still, womanâŚMmnnn, good girl, nice and easyâŚâ
Itâs not a rarity for Sukuna to have his hands on you as you two slept through the night. After all, he is the King of Curses; asking permission to touch his is beneath him. You were made for him to hold â sculpted for his cursed hands to touch â everyone else was far behind or had no standing compared to your demonic husband. And with you both sharing a futon every night, whoâs supposed to tell him to keep his hands to himself?
You, his little spouse, knew of this. Marrying the King of Curses was something you never imagined would happen â let alone falling in love with the giant man! Youâve always had dreams of becoming a sweet little partner to someone; for that to be fulfilled by the cursed man who could kill thousands in the blink of an eye is astounding.Â
And, of course, being a wife entails all the duties accompanying the package. Especially now, as you two lie together on the floor, nude bodies nestled close on the futon above the tatami floor, and your naked figure trembling from the insertion of one of Sukunaâs paired cock. And your heart drops at the second one brushing up against the crevice of your ass when he pushes the one inside your throbbing, velvety channel.Â
âMmmphâŚ! Sukuna, no,â you whined, your butt inching away from the second member. âI canât handle bothââ
âDonât lie; youâve done it before and did it well,â a hand brings your waist to him. âOr maybe I should just have one of the concubines take care of me, seeing as though my own wife is neglecting their duties.âÂ
He wouldnât do that; Sukunaâs interest in his insignificant mistresses had long been diminished once he took you up as his bride, practically collecting dust as he hadnât visited them since you shared a bed with him. Now, he uses them as tools to probe you. And he has to hold back the mischievous snicker when your eyes widen with anxiousness, wrapping your arms around his neck in desperation.
âNâNo, please!â You pleaded; it was the only sufficient approach. âIâll be good to you, I promise!â
The four-eyed curse scoffs. âThen do what youâre supposed to,â Each crimson orb takes in information about your bashful expression, âAnd attend to your husband like a wife should.â
Further complaints cease at his command, so you quiet down and arch your behind to him submissively. Sukuna takes your initiation with his hungry bottom hand on your ass, squeezing the flesh as you guide his other dick to your lubed asshole. With a hum, he pushes himself and forces you to take his cocks with your bottom, needing a few seconds to breathe when your holes reach the base of his members.
âGood girl,â he says to your ear to make you shudder, and he lifts your leg with the hand that finished groping your asscheek. âObeying me so well like alwaysâŚâ
He begins to move without a signal, slowly pulling himself in and out of your warm wetness that coats his length with your slick. You canât help but grip the girth limbs that massage your insides, involuntarily throbbing on them with shaky breaths. Â
âMmmaah, ohhhmyGâMmm!â Speech isnât easy, even with his upper left hand cupping your cheeks. And your brows furrow as the upper right sneaks to grope a breast. âFaaahh, Suk..una, Iâm too full alreadyâŚâ
âMmm? Is that so?â Sukuna asks with a patronizing tone, licking the helix of your ear to hear you gasp. âBut weâve barely started yet, my wife. Donât bore me before I can enjoy you yet.âÂ
His hips go at a gradual cadence that has you keening a mess, the sensation of the veins of his cocks felt by the walls of your holes. You howl silently, not wanting to make too much noise.
But that doesnât fly with your husband, speaking to your ear with that hoarse voice. Almost has you melting as he squishes with your cheeks, âLet it out, princess,â he commands. âI want to hear that voice; donât you dare hide that from me.â
Fuck, the way you felt on his dicks was so fucking good, having the cursed behemoth burrow his face into the cubby of your neck. Slow kisses on your skin segway to sucks that should mark for later. He could never get enough of how small you were up against him. His giant palm swallowed your tit, your ass bouncing with every thrust, and how damn tight you were as you accommodated the two members making your entrances busy.Â
Goddamn it, he bites his lip, dialing up the speed of his ruts a bit. Scratching your inner walls has you squeaking louder, unable to stop yourself when he grinds his hips after a sudden grim pound. So warm and snug for him as if you were meant for him. He knew you were meant for him â taking his huge, fat shafts with no objections, just arching your back further so the sensation could be more pleasurable like the loyal, little pet you are. âHmnghâŚ! Yeah, just like that, little dove; keep clenching around me like thatâŚâ
Restraint was gone long ago, letting your voice and shrieks fly out and fill the quiet bedroom. The sound of his skin shaking against your ass, the heat of your cheeks making it hard to think, and the shivers crawling your spine with every graze to your sweet spots. Everything feels like a haze, your brain too clouded to think outside this moment.Â
And then you sense the hand on your breast let go, slithering down to your unattended clitoris, which has your eyes shoot wide as your demon husband presses down. ââKhhff! Nooo, âKunaa, you mustnâtâŚ!â Â
He lifts a brow with a grin; you dare question him? âAnd why shouldnât I?â He pinches the delicate bud, resulting in a scream sneaking past your lips. âHmm? Plead for yourself.â
âBecauâAhhh! Mmmm, Iâll cum. Iâm gonna cummâŚâ
âThen donât,â Sukuna doesnât remove his digits playing with your clit, and the hand on your chin pulls your face to look at him. âCum without my permission, and Iâll make sure to not be so kind next time...â His words carry a warning filling your bones with apprehension, yet his soft lips greet yours and he hums into your mouth. The kiss serves as a distraction from his thick digits gently swiping on the pearl.
The rhythm of his hips, however, increases in speed and prompts more moans to be taken by Sukuna. Drool trickles down your lips, same with tears that welled up earlier from the insertion of his girth inside your ass. Your eyes roll at the jab to your silky walls, breaking the sweet yet passionate kiss to cry out as your husbandâs fat balls smack your ass.Â
ââOoooo, fuuuck, I canât,â your eyelids shield your vision, using the rest of your senses to indulge in this euphoric pleasure. ââKuna, Iâm so close, soâOoohh!â
âMe tooâŚGhhh! Shit, me tooâŚâ Sukuna presses his hot face to yours when you throw it back, licking the tears off your sweaty skin. You looked so stunning like this, all disheveled and immodest because of him. âGonna take my load, huh?â He licks the sweat off your shoulder and bites when you donât respond. âAnswer me, Y/n.â
ââAhhh, yes!â
Thatâs not enough. âI said,â he pinches your clit again as he gives slow yet rough ruts to your holes. And he can tell by your twitching that youâre doing everything in our power not to come. âAnswer me.â
Holy shit, this was borderline torture. âMmmph! OhhhLord, âKunaaa, I want you to fill me up. Pleasee, pleasepleaseee, I wanna be full; wanna be all âround and fat with your childâŚ!â
âKeh, dumb pet; who said I wanted a brat, huh?â He scoffs, yet you can hear the groan as he licks and sucks on your neck while squishing your hot, tear-stricken cheeks. âFine then; go on and cum with me. So damn needy for my seedâŚâ
Sukuna brings your chin for another steamy kiss, his lower left hand holding yours as his pelvis goes at an irregular pace. Your muffled shrills are taken by feisty lips, teeth clashing with his fangs before sucking on his tongue, and the upper left hand releases your chin to caress your chest once more, tweezing the nipple along with swipes to your clit.
Release gradually creeps up your shaky frame, crying to his mouth when your chasm and anus pucker around the lengths that graze your walls with the tips. Sukuna is not too far behind you, pumping his load into you with a few harsh plunges, making your contracting cunt and rear full of his hot and thick semen. The lower right hand propping your leg up leaves soft kneads on your inner thigh, hoisting it up further so his shafts are deep enough until his pulsing balls meet your ass.
You withdrew from his lips to breathe, your figure quivering through the aftershocks, and your slit and asshole still flutter around his girths. And you mewl when he kisses your cheek and temple.
âMmm, thatâs my princess,â he purrs while placing your leg down to massage your waist. âSuch a good doveâŚâ

Š đđ¨đŹđĄđ˘đ đŤđđ˛2024 â reblogs and comments are appreciated wholeheartedly ⊠dividers by @/benkeibear.
#đŻđđđđ Ëââ§ę°á â ŕťęą â§âË đžđđđđđ: đşđđđđđđđđ#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#sukuna smut#ryomen sukuna x reader#ryomen sukuna smut#sukuna ryomen smut#sukuna ryomen x you#sukuna ryomen x reader#sukuna fanfic#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk imagines#anime smut#jujutsu kaisen fic
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áśť đ đ° .á The Seven x Deadpool!Reader

t/w: loooots of dark humour/jokes, reader is insensitive and an asshole since they're also a supe working at vought, your powers are the exact same as Deadpool (even the skin condition), mention about killing, death, gore, r-pe, n@zis?!?!, alcohol, some intimacy (?). Also reader is gn!!
áŻâ
here's a version with the boys <3
HOMELANDER
This man hates you so fking much
Has tried to kill you multiple times, he tried lasering you, tearing you in half and even throwing you into the sky but you just always manage to come back like the damn plague
Eventually he gives up trying to kill you and just had to deal with the fact you'll be kept alive... just temporarily though... he's still looking for ways to kill you
However, your powers gave you dozens of advantages when around Homelander.
He can be having a meeting about something serious and everyone would be listening to him due to their fear towards him, then there's you who'd be doing your own thing and just shout out unrelated things like "Donald Trump just blocked me on Twitter!! HAH!! SUCK IT CORNFLACKS!!"
Everyone turning to you with startled expressions while Homelander simply rolls his eyes before continuing his presentation.
You are a complete nightmare to the PR team, that's why for interviews or any events, you'll always be paired up with Homelander so he can keep you under control and stop you from saying weird shit that could ruin the company's image.
"So Deadpool, how does it feel being in the Seven working alongside Homelander? You've been working together for almost 3 years now" A reporter would ask as you two are surrounded by screaming fans.
"Like I'm in the twilight series, not because of the fantasy but because I'm still waiting for the part where he impregnates meâ"
"O-kay! That's enough, just silly ol' Deadpool with those inside jokes"
"You can tell in this eyes that he wants to fuck me right now. HE'S GONNA FUCK ME!!" You shouted as you're being dragged away by him.
Obviously when you had found out about his relationship with Stormfront, especially her background, you had to say some shit about it. Not giving the slightest care about the fact he could be grieving over her death.
He'll be in his room standing in front of the window and you'd just storm in, being as loud as possible.
"I can't believe you dated a N@zi!! Is it because I'm Jewish?!" Which may or may not be true, nobody knows your origin.
He may hate your guts but if he ever needs someone to help him do some dirty work, you're the person for the job, you never ask why or how, which could be the only thing he likes about you.
"Y'know, maybe if you didn't have such a big mouth, you'd be tolerable"
"All the people I've slept with have said otherwise"
Compatibility? 50%
STARLIGHT
Before she joined the Seven, she had an image of what kind of person you were, she just didn't know it was this worse.
When you found out she used to work at this Sunday School Church, you just haaaaad to say something about it.
"So like, you say that prayer always works, but every night I pray for my hair to grow and it never does. Do you think God has me blocked? How do I get unblock?"
"Uh..."
You two surprisingly get along without one wanting to slice the other's throat, except sometimes the things you say can really piss her off. Which is why when the company assigned her a new costume, she was trying her hardest to avoid you, but you found out anyways.
"Holy shit Starlight! Nice costume, is this your Miley Cyrus breakthrough? Girl power!"
Insert her groaning out of annoyance.
Again, the second you discovered she was dating a guy behind the death of Translucent, you were heartbroken :(
"Of course this happens right when my therapist gives up on me!"
Despite your behaviour, you pitied her when it was revealed that she was taken advantage of by The Deep, so like any good friend, you took revenge by cooking his friend octopus and eating it happily in front of him.
"Revenge does taste sweet" You'd say happily while Starlight just watches by the side, both grateful and horrified at your actions.
In my opinion, you would definitely be the person she goes to once she starts working with the boys, you'll always be providing whatever information that happens in the company for her to use.
It helps her worry less about getting anyone killed 'cause you literally can't die.
Compatibility? 60%
QUEEN MAEVE
You're half the reason why she rethinks about her life choices when she wakes up in the morning
Not because you're a handful (which you are) but because you're always paired together on missions
"Deadpool! The hostages!"
"OKAY! God... you act just like my drunk uncle"
Which is a joke/nickname you like to address her by because of her alcoholism (yikes)
Whenever the company needs you for something, half of the time she's the one assigned to search for you.
There was this one time she caught you trying to have Anika track down Kanye West's location, nobody knows what shenanigans you were up to.
Another thing to mention was that you two were chosen by the company to sing a Christmas song for the year's Christmas ceremony.
Just imagine during the bridge of the song, she's singing normally while you're completely going off, your high note so high you were sure you had Mariah Carey a run for her money.
Even though she finds you a lot to deal with, you're actually her buddy to train with.
Since you're very skilled with Katanas, she likes to practice her swordsmanship with you.
You like to tease or make fun of her everytime she fails to strike you which is good motivation for her to get better. Maybe you guys bring out the best of each other?
Last thing I'd like to add is when she was found out by the public that she was a lesbian (She's bi but you get the running joke), you had gifted her a t-shirt that says, 'Biggest Dick in Town'
Compatibility? 80%
THE DEEP
Your human punching bag
If Vought was a high school instead of a company, you'd be the bully and he'd be the nerd getting stuffed inside the locker room.
For example, Homelander could be confronting Starlight about her relationship with Hughie and everyone would just start raising their voices til you come in yelling "SHUT UP!" to the Deep who had not said a single thing during the entire time.
Just imagine him staring at you like đ
To be honest you also ate his friend octopus so you guys are actually never getting the chance to make up.
"Look dude, I don't appreciate your tone"
"I don't appreciate your haircut either but we can't all get what we want"
You may be a crazy person but you weren't going to be okay with the fact he violates every woman he sees, so not only did you cook the octopus but you also called in a male stripper disguised as a woman just for him to celebrate on his birthday.
Just imagine him all happy when you tell him the news and later that night he'll run inside your room, completely pissed off at your act after finding out but you just laughed and said.
"Happy April Fools đ!"
"That's next month dipshit!"
Also, you never understood his weird fantasies. He has a thing for sea animals??You've caught him multiple times either flirting or getting off to one. It was concerning even for you.
"From how many animals you've fucked, you might just turn from the ocean's 'Seaman' to 'Semen'." You joked which he did not find funny.
Maybe you messing with him could just be your way of getting along with him since you're the same with everybody else, it's just he has more flaws to poke fun of and he's sensitive about them.
Compatibility? 5%
A-Train
He thinks you're fucked up in the head.
Half of the shit that comes out of your mouth just has him reacting like in the GIF
Buuuuuut you're the one he always brings to the club because you always know ways to give the party life.
You've somehow even got on the wall of fame, a lovely portrait of you with your hands making out a heart.
Also, you know about his business with Compound V waaaaay before anyone else did. He's still grateful you didn't tell anyone.
Just like everyone else, you also enjoy messing with him except he's fast and constantly avoiding you.
"Hey A-Train, how much do you wanna bet that I can die faster than you?"
"Dude... seriously?"
You guys rarely get sent on missions together because you're always slowing him down, not basing off the fact he's fast but because you get easily sidetracked with other things.
"Alright, we're here now, how much C4 do we use?"
"Fuck math! Let's use all of 'em!"
You ended up detonating all of the C4 on you before he could object the idea, he was able to run out in time, your action nearly getting him killed while you ended up dead.
But it's fine you'll just grow back.
You know that race he has against Shockwave? You'd be at the VIP section standing near where Homelander and Queen Maeve is, waving your huge banner that has a picture of A-Train's face and yours pasted over a figure carrying the other in bridal style.
Compatibility? 55%
TRANSLUCENT
He makes people paranoid but you make him disgusted.
There was this one time he was bored so he snuck in your room to see what you were doing.
At first he was confused why you had so many cute plushies but then the more he explored your room, he realised your room is basically every collector's dream.
You even had a huge teddy bear in the corner of your dressing room.
The reason why he doesn't like to spy on you is because the last time he did, he saw you putting your hand in the blender, then proceeding to put your private part into it.
Never again, he thought, never again.
He doesn't need to witness you carry out your intrusive thoughts.
Surprising enough, you're close with his son, I'd like to think that after his death, you practically became the kid's godparent. Though you can be sort of a bad influence, leading up to how he is in Gen V.
You always tell him you hate kids but he thinks otherwise.
After all, he can read people well.
You guys like to pull pranks on each other since you guys like competing on who's more sneaky
There was this one time, you woke up to find your suit gone so you ended up walking around the building, completely naked and unfazed by people's stares.
It was when you walked around the corner that you found your suit worn by someone else, turns out it was Translucent under it.
"Why is it so fucking tight dude? How do you stay in this shit all day?"
"You get used to it"
Compatibility? 85%
BLACK NOIR
Lovers.
He doesn't mind your attitude because he actually can't say anything about it.
No seriously... he can't talk.
But hey he's got a good shoulder to cry on.
"I just... hffgh... I can't believe my album didn't surpass lady gaga's... She doesn't even know how to use Katanas like I do!" You'd let out a loud sob while he just stares at you for a while before placing a hand on your shoulder, patting you gently.
You know the scene where he's playing the piano for one of the company's party? You'll be laying down on top of it and singing in your usual overdramatic high pitched voice.
He finds your humour amusing so he always does this little head tilt like in the GIF when you say some weird shit while waiting for his response.
Since both of you are the only members of the Seven that wears a full body suit, obviously you had to try on his but since it was impossible to achieve that, you just had the company make a copy for you.
He'll be walking down the hallway doing his normal routine until he notises another person in his suit, the moment you speak and he realises its just you is when he let's his guard down.
"I just got some transplants done to my ass, that's why I look different"
You both are never sent on missions together 'cause you guys don't work well, pretty much nobody works well with him since he's the silent type.
Example, you two were hiding behind some crates ready to jump on the bad guys who were snucking in illegal drugs. He gestured for you to wait as he went to check again, only to turn back to see you gone.
"Marry Christmas motherfuckers!"
He heard your voice shout and he found you standing on top of the stacked crates, machine gun in hand and began shooting aimlessly.
He didn't even do anything but just watch until you ran out of bullets. However, multiple survived and began shooting at you so you ended running towards where he's hiding at.
"Yankee yankee!" You yelped.
You know the video of the two girls taking off their wigs to reveal that they're bald and they start bonding over it? I'd like to imagine that's you and Black Noir with the skin condition under the suits.
One more scenario I wanna add, you guys could be having a meeting but since you were bored and you always hated meetings, you'd draw a big heart on a piece of paper and show it to Black Noir from across the table. Surprisingly he'd draw a heart back to you.
You were overjoyed so you began to draw you and him doing it, doggy style. He stares at your doodle for a while before choosing to just focus on the meeting instead.
Compatibility? 90%
(This took a while cause I was on vacation)
#the boys#the boys x reader#the boys x you#the boys homelander#the boys starlight#the boys queen maeve#the boys the deep#the boys a train#the boys translucent#the boys black noir#the boys tv#homelander x reader#starlight x reader#queen maeve x reader#the deep x reader#a train x reader#translucent x reader#black noir x reader#homelander#starlight#queen maeve#the deep#a train#translucent#black noir#x reader#the boys amazon
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I finally watched Across the Spiderverse and I want to take Miguel by the hair and knee him in the face and tell him not to pin his guilt and trauma on a teenager who is going through his on shit, shit Miguel could help with if he wasn't as far up his own ass
really there are several people he is pinning his guilt on but he is blaming Miles the most
#as if it's some kids fault that he was selfish in a way no one else was ever selfish before#âI inserted myself in someone else's life and the world blew up and now it's everyone's faultâ#what an asshat#great writing; I want to kill that man and also I want to see him be worse
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every time you drop a jiuyuan post i get so excited because you get it.
i need shen jiu to be strange and obsessive about shen yuan at all times. bro canât have a normal bone in his body when it comes to the only man in the world who is gonna coddle him but also hold him responsible in the most respectful loving way. and thereâs just so many good flavors for jiuyuan⌠shizun! sj + disciple! sy or vice versa, both disciples, both shizuns, etc. all very scrumptious.
all this to say i really liked how you wrote them in the binghe self insert fic even if it wasnât fully jiuyuan. your horny posting and aus and writing fill me with joy.
god bless.... thats exactly why i love jiuyuan because tbh shen yuan is one of the only people who doesnt have an extreme love or hate relationship with shen jiu and actually treats him like he'd treat any other person
Some people let sj do whatever he wanted with no consequences, which enabled him to be worse. whereas on the other end of the spectrum, those who didn't hesitate to curse him out/hurt him also pushed him into being more spiteful and angry. either way he only ended up more miserable. shen yuan is basically one of the only characters who goes "I understand shen jiu's actions, but they are still unforgivable" and i think it would drive sj insane. can you imagine
shen yuan: that was wrong of you to do
shen jiu: either kill me or shut up!!
shen yuan: ??? Why would I hurt you?? look, I understand why you did it, but that doesn't make it okay. I expect you to apologize, but i still care about you
shen jiu being treated like an actual person for the first time ever: h..huh..? I don't get it. how can you feel any way about me other than grovelling for my approval or wanting to abuse me
He would get hit with the "i'm disappointed, but I still believe in you and when you make it right, I will be here to tell you I'm proud of you." Shen Jiu would have no idea how to act. the mommy wife beam would ruin him.
also I like to believe shen jiu would act like he hates shen yuan but still be extremely defensive about him like
shen jiu: how dare he tell me what to do. apologize? me? who does he think he is, my mother?
someone: yeah he sucks-
shen jiu grabbing xiu ya: YOU TAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW.
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âĄÂ [18+ mdni]!! # loss of virginity, rival to lovers (?).
you weren't surprised when seungcheol brutally threw you onto his bed. i mean, you spent the last few weeks fighting for any stupid reason that appeared. it was obvious that every unfounded hatred had something behind it. he kissed your neck in an uncontrolled way, biting and sucking the sensitive flesh as if he wanted to mark you. you spent most of the makeout in silence, knowing that if you opened your mouths it would only be to tease the other. it was a little pathetic, yes, but it was hot, and seungcheol was hot. fuck, you choked when you saw him take off his shirt, his strong arms completely exposed to you, the silver chain hitting your face. he laughed before grunting and kissing you again, pulling down his pants in a somewhat clumsy way. you just did the same, pulling your dress quickly and getting rid of your panties as soon as you saw him get rid of his underwear. okay, fuck, that was fucking big! you saw seungcheol grab a condom from the drawer, and you avoided thinking about how normal it seemed to him, and then he put it on, going with his glande in your cunt. the sudden act scared you, enough for you to stutter. "c-cheol!" you called him, receiving a look from man. "can you⌠take it easy? i⌠i'm a virgin." cheol's mouth opened in a perfect 'o', at that moment he removed his member from inside you, and at the same moment you protested, asking him to go back, just be⌠calm. "fuck, why didn't you tell me this before?" "you would give upâŚ" "what? of course not, i justâŚ" he shook his head, showing was better than telling. he removed the condom, but didn't get off your body, his hard cock was now touching your groin, while he sucked on the tip of your tits, the light bites on the hard nipple making you moan a little louder than expected, seungcheol lifted his head sometimes just to see you with your eyes closed while moaning, he went down kissing your belly, the wet kisses making your skin tingle. and seungcheol always checked on you, letting out a few laughs when their eyes met. "open" he said kissing your thigh, and you trembled, obeying. fuck, you'd never felt anything like that, the way his tongue went through every part of your cunt, the way he seemed to want to devour you. your moans and contortions becoming greater as he inserted one finger, and then another, and another... he kept 3 fingers inside you, and you clung against the sheets, wetting his hand. "cheol~" you groaned, as a request. and he laughed. you rolled your eyes. but the next second he took another condom, opened a tube of lubricant and poured it into it, there was not so much need, you were lubricated and the condom already had some lube, but he was worried. and then he entered, slowly, feeling you relax on his cock. 'so hot!' he moaned in your ear as he started to thrust, you couldn't even think. "you look so much prettier like this, under me, moaning" cheol was slow in his movements, yet precise, and you thought you were gonna die when his thumb went to your clit, making a pressure there that made you cum. "hold on a little, please" he basically begged, waiting for your nod to re-thrust, shit, you were so sensitive after cumming, your sly moans were making him crazy. he squeezed your left nipple and the loud moan you gave made cheol cum in the condom...
''damn... that was... fuck" he said, lying on your side after removing the condom. "who knew our academic rivalry would end... like this" you teased. "i was able to cum inside you then... i kind of won this game like hell," he laughs. "you only say that because you took my virginity, in fact, if you tell someone that, i'll kill you" "tell someone? damn, never! you're mine, i'll never tell anyone what happened here." "i am what?" "that's right. shhhhhh." he kissed you before you could say anything. "you need to pee" you stared at him confused. "something about needing to pee after sex, don't ask me, i don't know very well either, i saw it on tiktok" you laughed, getting up and going to pee, even if you didn't feel like it. when you went back to bed, you ended up in a silent agreement to sleep there, and that's how you fell asleep nestled in seungcheol's arms.
and that's also how you ended up having your first morning sex.
#kooqitas smut#kooqitas#seventeen#seventeen x reader#seventeen smut#seventeen x y/n#seventeen seungcheol#svt#svt smut#svt x reader#svt x y/n#svt x you#scoups x y/n#scoups x you#scoups x reader#scoups#seungcheol x y/n#seungcheol x reader#choi seungcheol
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anything you want i did see a video where he was saying you hurt my darling to Rockwood and my did things to my heart
By Right of Blood | Sebastian Sallow x Reader

RAHHHH THIS WAS FUN. I LOVE PROTECTIVE SEB. I HOPE YOU ENJOY. I admit, I got carried away and this ended up longer than I anticipated which is why it took me a hot minute to get to this but I hope it was worth it!
Fair warning: this fic is realllllly just a lot of angry, protective seb + fighting/action; very little fluff/romance/etc until the very end
A very special thank you to @newdreamlove95 for reading this over and helping me revise before posting! <3
Words: ~13,000
Tags: Violence, Trauma, Reader Insert, Female MC, No Y/N, No Hogwarts House, Canon Divergence, Post Hogwarts, Auror Seb, Auror MC, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Romance, Confessions
The ruin was ancientâfar older than the maps suggested.
You exhaled, the sound swallowed by the dense, humid air of the underground chamber. The magic here was thick, pressing against your skin like something alive. It whispered at the edges of your mind, hinting at an enchantment cast long ago.
Your wand's light flickered against the damp stone as you stepped forward, careful, methodical. Runes lined the archways, warnings etched in a dialect you barely recognized. You traced your fingers over them, murmuring a translation under your breath.
Do not enter. Do not disturb what has been sealed.
A warning, not unlike many you had seen before.
You had been breaking curses for years, navigating the remnants of forgotten civilizations, dismantling traps left behind by those who feared their own creations. It was dirty, dangerous workâbut it suited you, kept you sharp, fulfilled your unquenchable need for adventure.
This ruin was no different.
The patterns in the stone, the way the air hummedâthere was something familiar about it.
Ancient magic.
You stepped toward the center of the chamber, fingers brushing the edges of an inscription half-buried beneath the dust of centuries.
Then, you heard a sound.
Faint, but unmistakable. Not a ghost. Not an animal. Not the whisper of long-dead magic. It was the slow, deliberate scuff of boots against stone.
Someone was here.
You whirled around, wand gripped tightly, heart immediately hammering against your ribs, adrenaline spiking.
"Identify yourself."
The laugh that followed was slow, low at first but rising, curling around you like smoke.
You recognized it immediately. It was a sound that haunted your nightmares, woven into memories you had long tried to bury. The echo of it sent something sharp and cold twisting in your gut.
From the darkness, a figure stepped into the dim glow of your wandlight.
âHello, love.â
Your grip on your wand tightened.
âI have to say,â the man mused, tilting his head as though appraising you, âI was beginning to think Iâd never get the chance to see you again. Youâve been quite the slippery little thing, havenât you?â
Your blood ran cold, but you kept your stance firm, refusing to let him see the way his presence set every nerve in your body alight with warning.
âYou should be dead,â you said evenly.
âShould be,â he echoed, almost lazily. âBut Iâve always been a difficult man to kill.â
His eyes flickered over you, and something dark and satisfied curled at the edges of his expression.
âAnd youâstill sticking your nose where it doesnât belong.â His gaze drifted to the ruins around you. âI wonder⌠is it curiosity that brought you here? Or instinct?â
Your pulse roared in your ears, but you held steady.
âYouâre a fool if you think youâll walk away from this,â you said, voice low, dangerous. âThe Ministry has been hunting you for years. You wonât leave these ruins alive.â
Another laugh.
âOh, I rather think I will,â he replied, tipping his head in amusement. âAnd you, my dear, will be coming with me, in due time of course.â
The words had barely left his mouth before you moved.
Your wand cut through the air, the incantation forming on your lipsâbut the curse never left your tongue, because he was faster:
"Crucio."
Pain exploded through you, tremendous and searing. Your knees buckled. Your wand slipped from your fingers, clattering uselessly against the stone as your body hit the ground. Every muscle seized, your spine arching against the agony as if to escape the pain.
The world blurred, your vision tunneling as your screams echoed off the cavern walls.
It felt endless.
Then, as suddenly as it began, it stopped.
Your breath came in ragged gasps, your body trembling, nerves raw and burning in the aftermath. The cold stone beneath you did nothing to ground you, nothing to dull the lingering agony that curled through every inch of you like a live wire.
Boots scraped against stone.
Through the haze, you saw a second figure step beside you. You tried to move. To reach for your wand. To fight. But before you could, a boot connected with your face and pain erupted againâsharp and immediate, snapping your head to the side.
A burst of lightâtoo bright, too fastâas your skull cracked against the stone.
The last thing you heard before everything plunged into darkness was a voice, smooth and satisfied.
"Sleep tight, love."
Victor Rookwood was a ghost story.
A name spoken in hushed tones, a shadow that stretched long over the years, fading in and out of whispered rumors like a specter that refused to be laid to rest. He had haunted the edges of Ministry investigations, slipping through the cracks, a vanishing act so seamless that some believed he had died in hiding. Others swore he had fled the country, abandoning his tattered empire to rot. There were even those who claimed he had gone madâdriven into the depths of some forsaken ruin, a king without a throne, wasting away in solitude.
But Sebastian Sallow knew better.
Rookwood was too proud, too vain, too damn angry to let himself rot in obscurity. He had spent a lifetime clawing his way into powerâhe would not fade quietly into the dark.
Sebastian told you once, in passing, that the Ministry still had a standing order to find him. That somewhere, someone was always searching. But he never told you that he was the one leading the hunt. That it was his team tracking every cold lead, every whispered sighting, every scrap of intelligence that might finally drag the bastard into the light. He never told you that he had spent every fucking year since leaving Hogwarts with a singular purpose: to make sure the ghosts that haunted you never had the chance to crawl out of the dark.
Because no matter how many years passed, no matter how much you tried to leave it behind, there was one person tied to Rookwoodâs downfall more than anyone else:
You.
It was why Sebastian had never questioned your decision to become a cursebreaker instead of an Auror, even when others did. Even when they called it a waste of talent. He knew why. Knew what the rebellion had taken from youâwhat ancient magic had cost you.
And it was why he hadnât wanted you going alone.
Southern Scotland. Uncharted ruins. A job you couldnât pass up.
âI donât like it,â he had told you before you left, arms crossed, jaw tight with unease.
âYou donât like anything that involves me going anywhere alone,â you had pointed out, amused, packing your satchel with methodical efficiency.
Sebastianâs scowl had deepened. âAnd for good reason.â
He wasnât wrong. Cursebreaking was dangerous by nature.
And what you didn't know was that to Sebastian, this wasnât just another expedition. He had waded through enough bodies in his time as an Auror to recognize a pattern when he saw one, and of one thing he was certain: Rookwoodâs activities had increased lately.
Small things, at firstâwhispers in Knockturn Alley, Ministry research going missing. Then the disappearances started. Then the unsolved cases, scattered across the country, all tied together by the same faint, rotten thread. His team of Aurors was finding bodies again, burned and mutilated in ways that were too familiar. The signs were all thereâRookwood was growing bolder, the noose of his ambition tightening.
And now you were gone.
A simple owl was all Sebastian had asked for. A brief messageâIâm fine. Donât worry. Still working. It was the bare minimum, a compromise between his paranoia and your stubborn insistence that you could take care of yourself.
But the hours stretched long, the silence thickening into something unbearable.
No owl. No sign of you. And Sebastian knew. Fuck, he knew.
Victor Rookwood had you.
He'd gone through every logical excuseâmaybe youâd finished late, maybe found something interesting in the ruins and got sidetracked. You had taken worse risks before, pushed the limits of your own survival in ways that made him grit his teeth and call you reckless. But you were also experienced. Brilliant. And you knew the weight of promises made to the people who worried about you.
You wouldnât forget to owl him.
Sebastian shot up from his chair so violently that it scraped across the floor, nearly toppling over. Across the room, a few of his fellow Aurors glanced up from their desks, but no one said anything. They had learned by now that when Sebastian moved with that particular kind of urgency, it was better to stay out of his way.
He stormed through the office, his mind already sharpening, already forming the next steps: he needed resources. He needed names. He needed your fucking location.
Sebastian tore through the corridors of the Ministry, moving fast enough to nearly knock over a passing file clerk. Papers went flying, a startled protest rose behind him, but he barely muttered an apology before pressing forward, his pulse a sharp, insistent drumbeat in his ears.
The Department of Cursebreaking was quieter than his own, filled with scholars and field researchers instead of hardened Aurors. Less war, more history. It had always suited Ominis.
Sebastian stepped into his friend's office without knocking.
Ominis was already standing, his chair pushed back, his posture rigid.
Sebastian exhaled sharply through his nose. âSheâs missing.â
âI know. I tried contacting her this morning,â Ominis replied, his voice tight, each syllable measured, controlled. âNo response. And there were traces of magical interference, which means whatever happened to herââ He cut himself off, his hands curling into fists at his sides. His breath came a little too sharply through his nose. âIt wasnât an accident.â
Sebastian already knew that.
"Not shit," he snapped, voice raw, hoarse. His hands curled into fists at his sides, shaking with barely restrained fury. "Rookwood has her."
Ominis exhaled sharply through his nose, unreadable behind the usual mask of quiet controlâbut Sebastian knew him too well. He saw the tension in the way he stood, the way his fingers twitched at his sides, the way his jaw clenched just a fraction tighter. Ominis was worried.
Good. He should be.
Still, when he spoke, his voice was measured, deliberate. "Sebastianâ"
"Donât tell me to calm down," Sebastian cut in, already knowing what was coming. "Donâtâdonât say that I should sit tight and be rational and fucking wait while Rookwoodâ" His breath hitched, and he turned away sharply, hands raking through his hair. "Fuck."
Ominisâ shoulders stiffened, but his voice remained level. "I'm worried too," he said, quieter this time, as if the weight of the words might reach Sebastian through the haze of his anger. "But we canât do anything rash. You donât know what youâre walking into, andâ"
"Rookwood has her, Ominis." Sebastian turned back to him, his gaze wild and desperate. "You know what that means."
Ominis did know. Knew it all too well. Knew what Rookwood was capable of. Knew what he had done to people before. Knew what he would do now, given the chance.
And worst of allâknew exactly what you meant to Sebastian.
He had always known.
Had seen it written in every unspoken word, every sharp breath, every stupid reckless thing Sebastian had done for you since they were teenagers. It was in the way he watched you when you werenât looking, the way he always reached for his wand at the first sign of trouble, the way his whole world seemed to orient around you without him even realizing it.
And now you were gone.
"Sebastianâ"
"We don't have time to wait!" Sebastian interrupted, his voice raw, shaking. "We don't even know how long she's been missing. She couldâve been taken yesterday, she could beâ" His throat tightened, something painful lodging there. "We donât know, Ominis. And youâre asking me to fucking wait?!"
Ominis exhaled through his nose, struggling for calm. "Your team is in the field," he pointed out, even, steady. "They need to be here. You need them."
Sebastian shook his head, laughing bitterly. "I need to go. Now. Before it's too late."
"Youâre talking about storming into a situation blind. Without backup. Without a plan. Do you hear yourself?" Ominisâ voice sharpened. "Do you even care if you survive this?"
Sebastian stilled.
And thatâthatâwas what made Ominis go still, too.
Because Sebastian didnât answer. His breathing was too fast, his fists still clenched at his sides, and in his silence, Ominis knew.
Sebastian wasnât thinking about himself at all.
Sebastian had never been good at restraint, had never known how to stop when it came to the people he loved. He had already proven, again and again, that there was nothingânothingâhe wouldnât do if someone he loved was in danger. And youâ
You were everything.
"Sebastian, please," Ominis tried again, softer this time, stepping closer. "You going in alone is exactly what Rookwood would want."
Sebastian let out a sharp, bitter exhale. "Rookwood wants her, Ominis," he spat, voice hoarse. "And Iâll be damned if I let him have her."
Ominis hesitated. Because the truth was, Sebastian was right. They didnât have time.
But Ominis also knew, with every shred of certainty in his body, that if Sebastian went nowâalone, reckless, half-mad with furyâhe might never come back.
But the Auror was already moving.
"Owl my team," he said, reaching for the door and ignoring Ominis's protests. "But I'm not waiting for them."
He stormed into the hallway, his mind a razor-sharp edge of focus. He didnât know where you were, but he knew where to start.
The ruins. That was where Rookwood had found you. But Sebastian had never seen the ruins himself, had never been there. He couldn't apparate to a place he didnât know.
Which meant he needed someone who did: your apprentice, Elias Vane.
Sebastian found him in the far corner of the Cursebreaking Department, hunched over a desk littered with notes, open grimoires, and a cup of tea, long forgotten.
Vane was youngâbarely out of Hogwartsâbut sharp. Talented. You had spoken well of him before, praised his instinct, his skill. Reckless, yes, but capable. A good cursebreaker.
And right now, Sebastian needed him.
He didnât slow as he approached, didnât stop. His hands slammed against the desk with enough force to rattle the inkpot and send a loose parchment fluttering to the floor.
Vane jolted, eyes snapping up in alarm. âShitââ
âYouâre coming with me,â Sebastian said, voice cold, clipped. His pulse roared in his ears. No time. No patience. âNow.â
Vane blinked, still disoriented. âWhatâ?â
âThe ruins,â Sebastian snapped. âThe ones she went to. Youâve been there, havenât you?â
Vaneâs expression flickered with confusion, then something like wariness. âY-yeah, once, during the initial survey, butââ
âThen youâre taking me there.â
Vane frowned, still catching up. âWaitâwhy? Whereâsââ
âSheâs missing,â Sebastian cut in, his voice like flint. âNo owl. No sign of her.â He straightened, shoving back from the desk. âWe need to leave. Now.â
Vane paled. He scrambled to his feet, knocking over the inkpot in the process, but didnât even glance at it. âSheâsheâs missing? Butââ His voice dropped to something unsure, something unsteady. âSheâs good at this, Sallow. If something happenedââ
Sebastianâs jaw clenched. His breath came sharp through his nose.
âShe didnât just get lost,â he said, voice dangerously low. âShe was taken.â
Vane hesitated, but whatever he saw in Sebastianâs expression had him snapping his mouth shut and nodding. âAlright. But if sheâs just holed up in some side chamber taking notes, sheâs going to kill us both for interrupting her.â
Sebastian didnât respond.
He prayed to every god he didnât believe in that was the case, but the dread clawing at his chest told him otherwise.
He stepped closer, gripping Vaneâs arm.
âHold tight,â Vane murmured before twisting his wand.
The world cracked apart, then Sebastianâs boots hit the stone with a sharp thud.
The ruins loomed before him, vast and desolate, and he felt it. Something was wrong.
Sebastian had been in enough places touched by dark magic to recognize the suffocating stillness that hung in the air. It was the kind of silence that only followed violence. The kind that made the hair on the back of his neck rise.
He turned in a slow circle, scanning the surroundings while Vane exhaled beside him, eyes sweeping over the ruins. âShe's supposed to be here,â he murmured. âShe would have left something behind. Campfire. Equipment. A bloody note.â
Sebastian was already moving toward the mouth of the cave, his boots crunching over loose gravel as he walked. His pulse pounded, his grip tightening on his wand.
Then he saw it.
Boot prints. Many boot prints.
His stomach twisted as he crouched, fingers brushing over the disturbed earth.
Vane stepped up behind him. âWhat is it?â
Sebastian didnât answer. A sick feeling clawed up his throat. The confirmation of what he already knew. You'd been ambushed. The evidence was right in front of him.
Victor Rookwood had been here.
Sebastian turned to Vane, voice tight with barely restrained fury. âTell me everything she was researching.â
Vane swallowed. âUh, ancient warding magic. Something about sealed vaults. She was trying to cross-reference Keeper records withââ
Ancient warding magic. The same damn thing Rookwood had been stealing from Ministry archives for months.
âFuck.â Sebastian dragged a hand through his hair, his pulse roaring.
He knew what Rookwood wanted, and it wasnât just revenge. It was your magicâthe same power you had buried, the same magic Victor had lost in the rebellion. The bastard had played a long game. He had waited, plotted, and then, the moment you had gotten too closeâ
He had taken you.
Sebastian turned to Vane, who was still pale, eyes darting to the boot prints in the dirt. The young cursebreaker swallowed hard, shifting uncomfortably under his unwavering stare.
âYouâre going back to the Ministry,â Sebastian ordered.
Vane blinked. âWhat? No, Iââ
âGo back,â Sebastian repeated, stepping closer, his grip tightening around his wand. âGo to Ominis. Tell him everything we saw here. Heâll know what to do.â
âButââ
Sebastian didnât have time for hesitation. âYouâll just get in my way.â
Vane recoiled slightly, offense flashing across his face, but Sebastian didnât let up.
"This isnât some damn expedition," his voice was low, razor-sharp. "Do you honestly believe that when it comes down to it, you can make the call? That you can put someone in the ground before they do the same to you?" He stepped closer, eyes burning with intensity. "Because thatâs what this is. Itâs not research. Itâs war. And I donât have time to babysit you."
Vane opened his mouth, but no words came out. He swallowed hard, something in his face crumbling as the weight of reality settled in.
Sebastian exhaled sharply, forcing himself to pull back. His voice, when he spoke again, was quieter.
âYou want to help? Find Ominis.â
Vane hesitated for only a second longer before nodding, his face grim. âWhat are you going to do?â
Sebastian barely hesitated. âIâm going after her.â
Vaneâs frown deepened. âYou canât justââ
âI can,â Sebastian cut him off, his voice low, lethal. âAnd I will.â
Something in his expression must have made it clear that there was no point arguing, because Vane exhaled sharply, shaking his head. âYouâre mad.â
Sebastian didnât bother denying it. Instead, he turned his back on the younger man and stalked toward the deeper ruins, the weight of his purpose pressing like a blade against his ribs.
Behind him, he heard Vane mutter a curse before taking out his wand. âIf you get yourself killed, Iâm not explaining it to Gaunt.â
Sebastian didnât answer.
With a sharp crack, Vane disapparated, leaving Sebastian alone.
The silence pressed in immediately, thick and smothering as he moved deeper. He took a slow breath, centering himself. He had to think. Had to move quickly.
Rookwood had taken you, that much was clear. But where?
His eyes swept over the ruined chamber, cataloging every detail with a hunterâs precision. The boot prints led toward the collapsed corridor ahead, vanishing deeper into the tunnel. There were too many to countâat least half a dozen men. Maybe more.
Sebastian followed them without hesitation, his movements sure.
The ruins stretched ahead, the air thick with humidity and the musty scent of mildew. Ancient carvings lined the stone, half-obscured by moss and time. The dampness clung to his skin, the scent of earth and decay filling his lungs.
Then, as he stepped into a large cavern, he stopped abruptly, his breath catching.
Blood.
It wasnât a lotâjust a smear, a faint streak against the stone floorâbut it was enough.
He dropped to a knee. There were boot prints everywhere, some overlapping, some leading deeper into the ruins. And the blood... he ran a finger through the smear. Still tacky. It was fresh. Recent.
Yours?
His gut roared at the thought, a sickening, lurching thing as he forced himself to breathe.
Every instinct screamed at him to run, to tear through these tunnels and hunt them downâbut he couldnât afford recklessness. Not yet, anyway.
Instead, he straightened, rolling his shoulders back, steadying the fire burning in his chest. His wand was firm in his grip, his fingers still slick with the tacky smear of blood. He wiped them against his coat absently, his mind already working through the possibilities.
There were too many boot prints to count, but the path was clear. They hadnât been subtleâthere was no need. No one else was supposed to be here. No one was supposed to find you.
And yet, here he was.
Sebastian followed the trail. The air grew colder the deeper he went, the damp walls pressing inward like silent sentinels. The corridor narrowed, the carved runes along the stone becoming more intricate.
He stiffened at the echo of a sound ahead.
Low voices, faint but distinct. Men speaking in hushed tones as they walked, their words carried along the tunnel by the damp echo of stone.
Sebastian pressed himself against the wall, listening.
ââstill unconscious. Probably wonât wake for a while.â
A rush of relief nearly buckled his knees. Unconscious. That meant you were still alive.
Another voice scoffed, rough and unimpressed. âYou kicked her too hard. The boss wanted her awake.â
Sebastianâs grip on his wand turned to iron.
They had hit you.
A red haze crawled up the edges of his vision, something sharp and vicious curling in his gut, coiling around his ribs like a beast that had been waiting for the right moment to sink its teeth in.
Sebastian had never been afraid of the dark.
And he had never been afraid to become it.
He inhaled, long and slow, pushing the fire in his chest into something controlled, something sharp, then he moved. Silent. Swift. A shadow among the ruins.
The two men were just ahead, walking side by side, their pace easy, relaxedâunaware. Their figures flickered in the dim torchlight, heavy boots scuffing against the stone floor, their cloaks shifting with the movement.
Sebastian didnât hesitate.
A flick of his wand, and the first man barely had time to choke before he collapsed, soundlessly paralyzed, his body hitting the ground in a dead weight.
Sebastian was already moving onto the next one.
The second man turned, mouth opening to shout, but Sebastian was faster. His wand slashed through the air.
"Diffindo."
The spell tore through the air. The man barely had time to gasp before a deep, jagged gash split across his chest, blooming red.
Sebastian stepped forward, pressing his boot against the manâs throat as he writhed, choking on his own blood. The dying wizardâs fingers scrabbled weakly against the stone, his panicked eyes meeting Sebastianâs.
Sebastian knelt over him, his wand pressed hard beneath his chin.
âWhere is she?â
The manâs mouth opened, but only a wet, gurgling sound escaped.
Sebastian lifted his foot just slightly, allowing the man just enough space to take a breath. âWhere. Is. She?â he repeated.
The man clawed weakly at his boot, his breath rattling in his chest.
Sebastian sighed, almost disappointed. He lifted his wand, tilting his head slightly. Then, without a flicker of hesitationâ
"Petrificus Totalus."
The manâs body went rigid in an instant, his limbs locking at unnatural angles as the spell took hold. His eyes, wide and frantic, remained the only thing still able to move.
Sebastian watched, impassive, as blood continued to seep from the wound at the manâs side, pooling beneath him, soaking into the cracks of the ancient stone.
Helpless. Still.
The man would bleed out, unable to move, unable to take any action to save himself. And Sebastian didnât care.
He moved deeper into the cave, following the footsteps. All the while, his sense of dread only grew, thrumming in the walls, in the air, in his bones, suffocating, unnatural, and reeking of something vile.
Then Sebastian heard it.
Laughter.
Low, amused voices, men speaking in tones that dripped with cruel delight. The sound sent ice through Sebastianâs veins. He pressed forward, inching closer to the chamber ahead. The tunnel widened into an open space, wandlight flickering against damp stone.
He counted fiveâno, six men, their postures relaxed, cocky. Unbothered.
Then he saw you.
Chained to a crumbling stone pillar, arms bound above your head, wrists rubbed raw and bloody against thick iron cuffs. Your head hung forward, temple bleeding, dark streaks cutting across the bruised, pallid skin of your face. Your breathing was slow, shallow. Unconscious.
Sebastian clenched his jaw so hard his teeth ached.
One of the menâtall, broad-shouldered, his cloak hanging open over grimy leathersâstepped closer to where you hung limp against the pillar, head tilted at a sickeningly casual angle. His wand was holstered, his hands free, because why would he need his wand for this?
His fingers found your jaw, tilting your head up so he could get a better look.
"Such a pretty little thing, eh?"
For a moment, Sebastian couldn't move. Couldn't breathe.
His entire body was coiled so tightly with rage that he thought he might shatter from it, might detonate with the sheer force of it.
Another man scoffed, rolling his shoulders. âWouldnât give the likes of us a second look, though,â he muttered. âFucking arrogant bitch."
The first manâs fingers drifted lower, tracing the delicate curve of your throat, brushing past your collarbone, slow and deliberate.
"Doesnât matter, does it?" Another man chuckled. "She ain't gonna fight back. And the boss ainât ready for her yet."
A smirk.
"So, boysâwho wants a turn first?"
Sebastian moved.
No thought. No hesitation. Only rage.
The first manâthe one touching youânever stood a chance.
A bolt of magic ripped through his chest, so fast, so brutal, that he didnât even have time to scream. The impact shattered his ribs, the sickening crunch of bone echoing through the chamber as his body crumpled, folding in on itself before it hit the ground.
The second man turned, his mouth opening in shock, powerless as Sebastian twisted his wand and sent a curse flying.
It struck the man mid-turn, his body arching backward, spine bending at a grotesque, impossible angle. He let out a choked, gurgling wheeze before collapsing in a twitching, broken heap.
Then the chamber erupted.
Shouts. The sharp scrape of boots against stone. Panicked movement.
Sebastian was still moving, weaving between them like death incarnate.
A man raised his wand, but Sebastian didnât let him speak.
"Confringo."
A scream tore through the cavern, raw and agonized as fire consumed him. He collapsed against the stone, his fingers clawing at his skin like he could rip the pain out of himself.
Sebastian turned, already raising his wand for the next.
Another man lunged, his own wand slashing through the air, but Sebastian deflected him effortlessly, stepping into his guard before driving his knee hard into his gut. The man doubled over with a strangled grunt, but Sebastian wasnât doneâhe slammed the hilt of his wand against the side of his skull, sending him sprawling.
A sharp movement to his leftâ
Sebastian pivoted, casting Expulso with enough force to send the next man flying into the cavern wall.
The impact was sickening. A wet, meaty sound, bones crunching on impact. Blood smeared against the stone as the man slumped, unmoving.
The chamber fell into silence.
Heavy. Dripping.
Sebastian was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling in sharp, furious bursts. His wand was still raised, fingers tight around the handle. The taste of iron burned at the back of his throat, the air thick with the stench of sweat and blood and fire.
And yet it wasnât enough. Not nearly enough.
His gaze snapped to the last man, who was trembling now, wand unsteady in his grip, eyes darting toward the exit, toward the ruins of his comrades, and then to Sebastian.
Sebastian took a slow, measured step forward.
The man sucked in a breath, his grip tightening on his wand, and then he moved.
Not toward Sebastian. Not to fight.
To you.
Sebastianâs blood ran cold. He saw itâthe way the man lunged, wand flicking upward at just the right angleâ
Apparition.
Sebastian didnât think. He lunged, too.
His fingers snatched at the bastardâs cloak, curling tight in the fabric just as the magic took hold.
The world twisted. Everything spun, a brutal, suffocating force yanking him forward, ripping him from solid ground and into the crushing void of nonexistence.
Then, as suddenly as it started, the world righted itself.
Sebastianâs boots slammed onto solid ground. Cold air hit his face. The scent of damp earth, of moss and rain, filled his lungs.
They were outside.
Deep in the woods, far from the ruins. The sky overhead was dark, moonlight barely slipping through the heavy canopy of trees.
The man who had taken you staggered forward, thrown off balance by the rough landing. Sebastian wasted no time. His wand was already raised, his fury razor-sharp.
"Bombarda!"
The spell struck the man mid-turn, ripping him off his feet and sending him crashing into the nearest tree. His body crumpled to the ground, unmoving.
Then silence.
Sebastian stood in the stillness, his breath coming in sharp, ragged pulls, his wand still raised, his fingers locked in a death grip around the handle. His heart was a drumbeat in his ears, fast and erratic, each pulse laced with fury, with need.
The bastard was dead. Good.
He turned.
His stomach plummeted.
You were in a heap on the ground, crumpled atop a bed of damp, decaying leaves. Your body was limp, your arms still bound, your deathly skin pale beneath the bruises and blood smeared across your face. The rise and fall of your chest was slowâtoo slow.
Sebastianâs fury shattered, replaced instantly by fear.
âFuck, no, no, noââ
He dropped to his knees beside you.
âCome on, love,â he muttered, his voice shaking despite himself. âYouâre alright. You have to be alright.â
He swore, frustration thick in his throat, turning his attention to the shackles. He had to get these off you.
His wand cut through the air againâFinite Incantatem. No reaction. Alohomora. Not even a flicker.
Sebastianâs jaw locked. Fuck magic, then.
He tossed his wand aside and lunged for the shackles, fingers digging into the rusted iron, trying to pry them off with brute strength alone.
The moment his skin touched the metal, a biting cold leached into him, unnatural and parasitic.
Sebastian gasped, his muscles seizing, his breath hitching as a sickly, creeping energy seeped into his fingertips, curling through his veins like poison. It crawled up his arms, pulling, drainingâa deep, gnawing hunger that seemed to suck the very life from his bones.
Cursed. It was cursed.
Sebastian ripped his hands away, staggering backward, his breath coming too fast, too shallow. His fingers tingled where they had touched the shackles, as if something had tried to stay inside him, tried to take root.
âFuck,â he swore again, running a trembling hand through his hair, trying to clear the dizzy haze the metal had left behind.
Thenâ
A twig snapped.
Sebastian froze.
âWell, well,â a voice drawled. âIsnât this touching?â
Sebastian turned slowly, wand raised, heart pounding in his chest like war drums.
Victor Rookwood stood at the edge of the clearing, half-shrouded in shadow, his coat hanging open over the fine but worn layers beneath.
âYou certainly do make things interesting, Mr. Sallow.â His tone was almost amused, but his eyes burned with something colder. âI do wonder, thoughâwas it bravery or foolishness that brought you here? Love certainly makes people do strange things.â
Sebastian didnât answer.
He stood, wand still raised. His heart was a hammer in his chest, the weight of it crushing against his ribs, but his grip remained steady, his fingers curled tight around his wand.
Rookwood was watching him like a cat might watch a cornered mouse. His posture was relaxed, his stance loose, his wand held low like it was barely worth lifting. A show of control. A show of patience.
Sebastian had seen men like him before.
Men who spoke in honeyed words while they bled people dry. Men who lied with a smile, who thrived on games, on power, on knowing they were one step ahead.
Sebastian exhaled slowly through his nose, forcing himself to think.
He hasnât killed her. That was the first fact that mattered. If Rookwood wanted you dead, you would already be gone. Instead, you were here, bound and unconscious, but alive.
Which meant Rookwood needed you. And if he needed youâthen he wasnât as in control as he wanted Sebastian to think.
Rookwoodâs smirk deepened, as if he could see the thoughts forming in real-time. âNot even a word?â He tsked softly, shaking his head. âI must say, Sallow, I expected more given your reputation."
Sebastian didn't falter. âLet her go.â
Rookwood let out a quiet, breathy chuckle. âAh. Straight to business.â His gaze flicked toward you, still slumped in the dirt, before returning to Sebastian. âIâm afraid thatâs not going to happen.â
Sebastianâs grip on his wand tightened. âThen I'll kill you where you stand.â
Rookwood actually laughed at that. A slow, smug sound, low and indulgent. âOh, you could.â He gestured vaguely, as if the idea was nothing more than a passing thought. âBut letâs be realistic, shall we? You and I both know itâs not that simple. The curse on those shackles wonât lift without me.â
Sebastian stiffened. Shit.
"So tell me, Sallow," Rookwoodâs voice was unhurried, easy, as if they were discussing the weather over tea. "Whatâs the play here?â
Sebastian didnât answer. Didnât shift. Didnât so much as breathe the wrong way.
It was obvious now.
This wasnât just a fight. This was a game. A dangerous, calculated game, and if Sebastian wanted to win, if he wanted to get you out of here alive, then he had to play it right.
Rookwood watched him, eyes gleaming in the moonlight. âDo you even know what those shackles are doing to her?â His tone was conversational. âI imagine youâve already felt it yourself. That creeping little rot in your bones.â He tsked, shaking his head. âMust be excruciating, hm?â
Sebastian barely stopped himself from looking at you. Because that was what Rookwood wanted, wasnât it? To make him look. To make him see how helpless you were, to force him to feel that panic tighten around his throat like a noose.
But the problem was Rookwood wasnât lying. You were dying. Slowly, yes, but it was happening. So what the fuck was the right move here?
Every instinct in Sebastian's body screamed to attack, to kill him where he stood, but if the curse needed to be lifted manually, then Sebastian might as well carve your fucking tombstone himself.
His fingers twitched. He forced himself to breathe.
âFine,â he bit out. âWhat do you want?â
Rookwoodâs smirk deepened, his eyes glittering with amusement. âNow youâre speaking my language.â He took a slow step forward, watching Sebastian like a cat toying with a mouse. âItâs simple, really. Youâve been such a thorn in my side. Constantly investigating me, tracking me down, sending your little Auror friends after me." His expression darkened, the amusement fading into something more calculating. "So, hereâs my offer: you leave. You walk away. You stop chasing me, stop meddling in my affairs, and, most importantlyââ His gaze flicked toward you, still slumped and dying in the dirt. ââyou forget you ever saw me. And when I'm finished with her, you'll get her back alive."
The words slithered through the cold night air, wrapping around Sebastian like a chokehold. His stomach twisted, nausea curling tight beneath his ribs, but his face remained unreadable.
âI think,â Sebastian said slowly, voice even, steady, âthat you have me confused with someone who bargains.â
Rookwoodâs smirk didnât falter, but there was something else beneath it now. A flicker of something colder.
âOh?â he mused, tilting his head, as if truly considering. âThen I suppose I'll just need to persuade you."
A curse slammed into Sebastianâs chest before he could react.
Pain exploded through his ribs, knocking the breath from his lungs in a sharp, violent burst. The force of the spell sent him flying, his body crashing against the damp earth, his wand slipping from his grip and skidding across the forest floor.
For a moment, his vision swamâdark spots blooming at the edges, the world tilting on its axis. Cold night air bit at his skin, but his chest burned, ribs screaming with each ragged inhale.
Rookwood was on him in an instant.
A boot slammed down against Sebastianâs wrist, grinding it into the dirt, keeping him pinned, helpless, his wand just out of reach.
âI shouldâve known better than to waste time talking,â Rookwood muttered, his voice low, almost disappointed. "Men like youâ"
Sebastian moved. Fast.
Before Rookwood could finish his sentence, Sebastian wrenched his body to the side, twisting hard despite the searing pain in his ribs. He gritted his teeth, ignored the screaming protest of his muscles, and lungedâ
His hand snatched at Rookwoodâs ankle, yanking with every ounce of strength he had. The older man staggered, his balance thrown, his weight shifting just enoughâ
Sebastian ripped himself free, shoving himself up from the ground in a single fluid motion. His shoulder slammed into Rookwoodâs torso, driving him backward, but the older man recovered fast.
Rookwoodâs wand snapped up. Sebastian ducked. A jet of red light seared past his ear, narrowly missing him, splintering the bark of a nearby tree.
Sebastian didnât let him cast again.
He surged forward, slamming into him, sending them both sprawling into the dirt in a brutal scramble.
A sharp crack echoed through the clearing as Sebastian's his fist connected with Rookwoodâs face. Blood smeared across his knuckles, and Sebastian pressed forward, his other hand grappling for Victorâs wand, fingers brushing against the handle.
Then pain erupted through his side.
Sebastian gasped, his body jerking as something hot and burning sliced through his ribs.
Rookwood had a knife. A dirty, wicked-looking thing that he'd hidden beneath his coat.
Sebastianâs chest rose and fell in sharp, heaving breaths, his ribs screaming, his side burning where the knife had carved through him. His wand was still somewhere in the dirt, just out of reach. He shoved Rookwood back and forced himself upright, muscles trembling from the effort.
Rookwood now stood a few feet away, wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand.
And he was grinning.
âThatâs quite the right hook youâve got there,â he mused, flexing his jaw. âAnd here I was beginning to think the Ministry had gone soft.â
Sebastian said nothing. His breath came slow and deliberate, fingers twitching for his wandâ
Rookwood smirked.
âEight years,â he mused, pacing leisurely in front of him. "It took you eight years to finally come face to face with me. Your entire careerâs workâtracking me, investigating me, sending your little Auror friends after me.â He sighed, shaking his head. âAnd yet, despite all that effort, here we are. And I must sayââ He tutted, tilting his head. âItâs a bit of a shame, isnât it? That you're just so bloody weak."
Sebastian clenched his jaw so tight it ached.
Rookwood continued, his voice smooth, almost pitying. âThe Ministry is so slow, isnât it? Always a step behind. Always cleaning up messes instead of preventing them.â His smile widened. âIt took you eight years to catch up to me. And now youâre here. Wandless. Bleeding. Powerless.â
Sebastianâs fingers curled into fists.
âYou talk too much,â he rasped, his voice raw.
Rookwood chuckled. "Personally, I think I'm being quite charitable, Sebastian. Your life is about to end, surely you want to know what it is I've been working towards all this time, hm?"
Sebastian swallowed against the sharp taste of blood at the back of his throat.
âAncient magic is such a fascinating thing, donât you think?â Rookwood mused. "Older than the Ministry. Older than the Hogwarts founders. Power that predates our understanding of what magic even is.â
Sebastian didnât move. Didnât speak. He was listening. Because that was the thing about men like Rookwood, they always wanted an audience, and right now, every second he spent talking was another second Sebastian had to think.
Rookwood exhaled, long and thoughtful, tilting his head. âYou know, the real shame of it is that she never even stopped to consider what that power could do if properly harnessed." His gaze flicked toward you, still unmoving in the dirt. âShe feels it. Wields it. And yet was still too much of a coward to reach for its full potential."
Sebastian forced himself to breathe, slow and steady. âWhat the hell are you talking about?â
Rookwood tutted, shaking his head. âCome now, you already know.â He gestured broadly, as if to the very world around them. âThe Repository. Sealed. Hidden away. Even though ancient magic is my goddamn birthright.â He clicked his tongue. âThe Ministry likes to pretend she warded it off for good. How naive."
Sebastian inconspicuously scanned the forest floor for his wand, finally locating the green and black handle laying a couple meters to his right.
âThe problem, of course,â Rookwood went on, âis that the only one who can open it is her."
His gaze flicked toward you again.
âBecause sheâs special. I imagine youâve known that for a long time." Rookwood's smirk deepened.
âSo what?â Sebastian spat. âYou think sheâs just going to help you?â
Rookwood chuckled. âOh, Sebastian.â
Sebastian hated how easily he said his name.
âShe doesnât need to help me," Rookwood continued. "She simply needs to be there.â
A cold dread curled at the base of Sebastianâs spine. âWhat the fuck are you saying?â
Rookwood hummed. âIâm saying that she is the key. Quite literally. You see, I donât need her consent. I donât need her to willingly give me anything." He tilted his head. "I just need her alive long enough to get me in."
Sebastianâs vision went red. His mind screamed for him to move. To lunge. To tear Rookwood apart.
Eight years ago, before Auror training, before he had learned restraint, he would have. He would have thrown himself at Rookwood with all the reckless fury he had in him, would have clawed and ripped and killed him with his bare hands if he had to.
And it would have gotten him killed.
But nowâ
Now, something cold settled into his chest. Not quieting his rage. Not taming it, but focusing it.
Sebastian couldnât afford to be reckless, not while he was wandless and bleeding and Rookwood held a winning hand. He just needed to break Rookwoodâs composure. Needed to goad him into making a mistake.
Then heâd gut him.
Sebastian exhaled slowly through his nose. His gaze flicked toward his wand, half-buried in damp earth.
"Must be exhausting," Sebastian said, forcing a breath past the sharp pain in his ribs. "Still clinging to old failures, knowing you were bested by a fifteen-year-old all those years ago."
Rookwoodâs jaw tensed. Sebastian smirked.
"Youâre desperate," Sebastian continued breathlessly. "Thatâs why you need her. Ancient magic is beyond you, and you know it. Youâre just a desperate, pathetic bastard trying to steal power he doesnât understand."
That did it.
Rookwoodâs eyes darkened with something dangerous.
Sebastian had seconds. Maybe less.
Rookwood lunged, knife in handâbut this time, Sebastian was ready. His heel dug into the dirt, and he dove sideways, landing with a heavy thud.
His fingers wrapped around his wand, and before Rookwood could even think, Sebastian flicked his wand, "Depulso!"
The force of the spell slammed into Rookwoodâs chest, sending him staggering back. He barely had time to recover before Sebastian staggered to his feet.
"Expelliarmus!"
Rookwoodâs blade flew from his grasp, falling to the ground, and for the first time, Rookwood looked genuinely surprised.
But Sebastian wasnât finished.
"Bombarda!"
The force of the blast sent Rookwood hurtling backward, his body slamming into a tree. Leaves floated down around him, and he collapsed to the ground, coughing violently.
Sebastian stalked toward him, wand steady, fury burning white-hot through his veins.
"Like I said, you talk too much," he growled.
Rookwood lifted his head, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, his smirk weak but still present. "And you⌠are entirely too predictable."
Before Sebastian could react, Rookwoodâs fingers barely twitched with wandless magicâand you flew across the clearing. The air whooshed past, and in an instant, you were wrenched from where you lay and pulled into Rookwoodâs grasp like a ragdoll.
No.
No, no, no.
Sebastian's fingers flexed around his wand, and the rest of himâhis body, his mind, his furyâall locked into place, caged by the sight of you limp in Rookwoodâs arms, unconscious, barely breathing.
Rookwood smirked, his hand curling around your throatânot tightly, not choking, but firm enough to send a clear message.
Sebastian's mind raced, working through every possible scenario, every hex, every fucking spell that could fix thisâ
But there was nothing. Not while Rookwood held you like a human fucking shield.
Sebastianâs grip on his wand tightened. "You're going to let her go."
Rookwood smirked, tilting his head. "And what, pray tell, will you do if I donât?"
Sebastian gritted his teeth. He forced himself to breathe, to keep his expression blank, to push back the fear clawing at his throat. He couldnât show weakness. Couldnât give Rookwood anything.
"I'll kill you with my bare hands."
Rookwood laughed a full-bodied laugh, low and indulgent, like this was entertainment to him.
âYou are delightful,â he mused. "Truly."
Sebastianâs pulse was a steady, furious drumbeat in his ears. He needed a plan. Needed to separate you from him.
Rookwood adjusted his grip on you, keeping you firmly between himself and Sebastian. "Tell meâare you willing to gamble with her life?" He hummed, considering. âBecause I will snap her neck if you make a single wrong move."
Sebastian felt sick. His muscles were coiled tight, his every instinct screaming to act, to fight, to rip Rookwood apart piece by pieceâ
He forced himself to exhale slowly through his nose. He's bluffing.
"You won't do it," he said, voice low, razor-sharp.
Rookwood lifted a brow. "And what makes you so sure of that?"
"Because you need her alive. You said it yourself."
Rookwood hummed, tilting his head as if considering. "Thatâs true. I do need her."
Sebastian could feel the shift, the subtle tug-of-war, the way Rookwood was toying with him.
"But youâ" he tightened his grip around throat. "âyou need her more."
Sebastianâs wand was steady, unwavering, but insideâinside, something cracked.
The bastard would kill you.
Because the game had changed.
This was no longer about Rookwood getting you to the Repository.
No.
This was about Rookwood staying alive.
Sebastian hadnât realized it at first, hadnât put the pieces together because of the rage clouding his vision. But now, with Rookwood wandless, his weapon gone, his body pressed against the bark of a tree with you limp in his graspâ
Now, Sebastian saw it.
Rookwood wasnât in control anymore. He was stalling. Because of course he was. He was self-important, arrogant, an entitled little bastard who thought the world owed him its power. Your death would be an inconvenience to him, yesâa massive fucking setback to his ambitionsâbut between your death and his?
There was no question which life he valued more.
Sebastian swallowed against the raw fury pressing against his throat.
âYouâre scared,â he said.
Rookwoodâs smirk twitched, but it didnât quite reach his eyes. Sebastian took a slow step forward.
âYou should be.â
Rookwood adjusted his grip on you slightly, shifting his stance. âBold of you to say, given the circumstances.â
Sebastian tilted his head just slightly, eyes locked onto his. âIs it?â
Rookwoodâs fingers flexed against your throat, as if he thought the subtle pressure might rattle Sebastian. Might make him desperate.
But Sebastian didnât react. Didnât move. Didnât so much as flinch. Instead, he let his gaze flickâjust for a secondâtoward Rookwoodâs empty hands. Just a cornered rat, grasping for anything to keep himself from getting eaten alive.
âDo you know what I think, Rookwood?â
The bastard said nothing. Sebastian smiled. Just a little. Just enough to make it mocking.
âI think you know youâre already dead.â
He could see the moment Rookwood understood. The moment his arrogance cracked, the moment he finally saw the board for what it was, and realized he was out of moves.
Sebastian lunged forward, his hands fisting into the fabric of Rookwoods coat in a white-knuckled grip as he dragged him forward and apparated.
The world lurched.
Magic pulled tight around Sebastianâs ribs, wrapping around him like a vice as the weight of Apparition crashed over them both. He pulled Rookwood with him, his grip unbreakable.Â
And then they landed.Â
The world snapped back into focus. The bright light, the desks, the walls lined with maps and case files. The scent of ink, parchment, and freshly brewed tea clashed violently with the blood and dirt smeared across his skin.
The Auror Department had been buzzing beforeâanxious, tense conversation rippling through the air as Sebastianâs team and Ominis scrambled to form a plan to go after him.
But now? The second they appearedâSebastian, you, and Rookwoodâ
Silence.
Total. Utter. Fucking. Silence.
And thenâ
Chaos. Pandemonium.
A crash of chairs and desks as Aurors surged forward, wands raised.
"GET HIM RESTRAINED!"
"WHAT THE FUCKâ"
"IS THATâ? THAT'S ROOKWOOD!"
Sebastian staggered, his grip ripping away from Rookwood as Aurors descended on the bastard like a pack of wolves, yanking his arms behind his back, forcing him to his knees as enchanted restraints snapped tight around his wrists.
Sebastian's breath was ragged, his chest rising and falling in sharp, furious bursts, his fingers shaking from the adrenaline still thrumming through his veins.
Then Rookwood laughed. A slow, breathy chuckle, low and condescending, even now, even fucking now, after everything.
Sebastian's wand clattered to the ground as his rage overcame him, his fist connecting with Rookwoodâs face before anyone could react.
The impact was brutal. A sickening crack as knuckles met bone, as Rookwoodâs head snapped to the side. Blood splattered against the Auror Departmentâs pristine floors.
Another hit. Another.
Sebastian didnât stop. Didnât think. Just swung.
Again.
And again.
And again.
"You filthy fucking bastard!" Sebastian roared. His voice was hoarse, frantic, furious. His hands ached, knuckles split and raw from the force of his own rage.
Rookwood spat blood, still grinning, his lips split, his nose crooked from the sheer force of Sebastianâs attack.
"Struck a nerve, did I?" he rasped, voice wheezing from the damage.
A snarl ripped from Sebastianâs throat as he drove his fists into Rookwoodâs face, over and over. Blood splattered across his knuckles, staining his skin, but it wasnât enough. The world had narrowed into a singular, blistering point of rageâa fire that burned so hot it consumed everything else.
Because Rookwood took you. He hurt you. He was going to kill you.
And Sebastian couldnât fucking stand it.
The room around him was filled with shouts and barked orders and hands gripping at his coat, but none of it registered.
All he could see was Rookwood. Bloodied. Laughing.
Even as multiple sets of hands dragged him backward, it didnât matter. Sebastian fought against them with everything he had, his body twisting, muscles coiled tight with rage, his knuckles dripping with bloodâhis own, Rookwoodâs, he didnât fucking care.
"Get off me!" he snarled, wrenching free for just a secondâjust enough to grab the bastard by the collar and slam his head back against the floor, hard enough to hear the crack of impact.
Rookwood let out a wet, choking sound, blood bubbling between his teeth, but that smirkâthat fucking smirk was still there.
âSebastian, enough!â Ominis yelledâbut even he didnât sound convinced it would work.
Sebastian twisted, his hand snapping toward his wand on the floor, fingers closing around the handle, the weight of it grounding him, feeding into the burning need.
"Crucio."
Rookwood screamed.
A raw, inhuman sound, his back arching violently, his limbs spasming against the enchanted restraints, his body writhing in agony as the curse took hold.
Sebastian watched. Breathing heavy. Eyes dark. Hands steady. And fuck, it was satisfying.
No one moved. No one dared move.
Aurors, seasoned war-hardened witches and wizards, stood still, stunned into silence, their wands raised but motionless.
OminisâOminisâwas silent.
Sebastian didnât care. Didnât feel a damn thing beyond the pure, burning relief of watching Rookwood suffer. Of watching him break. Of making sure the last thing this filthy fucking bastard felt before he died was pain.
When he finally dropped the curse, the silence was suffocating.
The only sound left was Rookwoodâs ragged, shaking breath, the way his body twitched, the way he tried and failed to push himself upright.
Sebastian crouched low, gripping Rookwoodâs collar in his fists, jerking him just slightly forwardâenough to make sure he was listening.
And then, voice low, voice calm, voice filled with everything he meantâ
"You were dead the second you laid a fucking finger on her."
Rookwoodâs eyes barely flickered. His mouth opened, but whatever smug retort had been forming died the second he saw the way Sebastian lifted his wand.
A breath. A heartbeat. Thenâ
"Avada Kedavra."
A flash of green light.
Rookwoodâs body jerked and then stilled. Lifeless. Dead.
The room remained silent. No one moved. No one spoke.
Sebastian didnât feel an ounce of fucking regret.
And thenâ
"Sebastian."
Ominisâ voice cut through the silence like a blade.
Sebastian turned, slow, sluggish, like his body hadnât quite caught up to the sheer finality of what had just happened.
His gaze landed on you.
Still on the floor. Still unconscious. Still dying.
"Fuckâ" He dropped to his knees beside you so fast the impact jarred through his bones, but he didnât care, couldnât careâhis hands were already reaching, shaking, desperate as they curled around your wrists, your shoulders, cupping your face, tilting your head back slightly, searching for any signâanythingâthat you were still with him.
"Come on, love," he muttered, barely aware of his own voice, the way it cracked, the way his breath came too fast, too sharp. His thumb brushed against your cheek, tracing the bruises, the cold sweat on your skin. "Youâre alright. Youâre gonna be alright."
No reaction. His heart slammed against his ribs.
"Ominisâ" his voice cracked, breath hitching, and then he was looking up, wild-eyed, desperate. "Ominis."
Ominis was still standing in place, his wand gripped tight in his hands, the only sign that he was even processing what had just happened.
Sebastian didnât have time for that.
"The shackles," he rushed, words tumbling out too fast, too frantic. "Theyâre cursed. Theyâre killing herâI tried to take them off, and Iâ" He swallowed, shaking his head. "Do something!"
Ominis hesitated.
Sebastian saw it. Saw the way his lips parted, saw the way his fingers twitched, the uncertainty bleeding into his normally measured expression.
Sebastian lost it.
"Youâre a fucking Cursebreaker, Ominis!" he roared, his voice cracking with something raw and ragged. "So do something!"
Ominis' mouth pressed into a thin line, his expression grim, but finallyâfinallyâhe moved.
He dropped beside Sebastian, already drawing his wand, already tracing over the metal shackles with precise, practiced movements. His lips moved in near-silent incantations, magic thrumming low and steady through the air, golden light weaving intricate, delicate patterns against the iron.
Meanwhile, Sebastian snapped his head up, wild, furious, helpless.
"Someone get the fucking Healers!" he barked, his voice a whip crack in the stunned silence. "NOW!"
Aurors scrambled. People rushed, bodies moving too slow, too fucking slow, and Sebastian turned back to you, his fingers ghosting over your cheek, your jaw, pleading.
"Come on, love," he whispered, his hands shaking as they hovered over your body. "Come back to me."
Ominis was still working, his wand tracing over the metal in sharp, methodical movements, his brows furrowed in deep concentration.
"I need time," Ominis muttered, his voice tight. "Itâs layered magicâwhoever did this knew what they were doing."
"We donât have time!" Sebastian snapped. "She doesnât have time!"
And he didnât mean toâhe didnât mean to lash out at Ominis, but fuck, he was drowning in this, the weight of everything crushing him, suffocating him. Because he had been here before. Kneeling over someone he loved, begging the universe to give him one more chance.
Anne, after she was cursedâher body wracked with pain, her screams tearing through his skull, his useless hands gripping hers as she trembled beneath his touch.
His parentsâdead before he even got to try to save them.
And now you.
The realization hit him, slamming into his ribs like a bladeâsharp, vicious, undeniable.
You were everything. Had always been everything.
Ten years.
Ten fucking years of standing beside you, watching you grow into the force you were now. Ten years of chasing the same battles, fighting the same wars, of laughing together, bleeding together, of existing in a world where, no matter what happened, no matter who came after you, he had always been there. You had always been there.
And not onceânot onceâhad he ever fucking said it. Not once had he looked at you and admitted what had been rotting inside of him since the day he met you.
That he loved you. Had always loved you.
And now, when you were slipping away from himâwhen your body was cold beneath his hands, when your lips were parted but there was no sound, no whisper of recognition, no sign that you even knew he was thereâ
Sebastian realized he might never get the fucking chance.
His jaw locked. His breath hitched.
"Ominis," he said again, voice raw, pleading, his entire body vibrating with the weight of everything he never said. "Pleaseâ"
"I'm working as fast as I can," Ominis snapped, but even he sounded frayed at the edges, his voice tighter than usual, his magic straining against the curse.
Sebastian gritted his teeth, fingers clenching around your wrist, grounding himself in the weak, faint pulse beneath your skin.
Still there. Still beating.
But for how long?
"She's dying," Sebastian whispered, more to himself than anyone else. "Sheâs dying, and I canâtâI canât fuckingâ" His voice broke, sharp and raw, and fuckâhe wasnât even sure if he was breathing anymore.
Ominisâ jaw tightened, his wand moving faster, the golden light flaring brighter against the rusted iron of the shackles.
Sebastianâs stomach twisted.
Because Ominis could feel it too.
The same dread. The same fear.
Sebastian swallowed, his throat aching, his lungs burning with every sharp inhale. He wanted to scream. Wanted to fight something, wanted to rip the world apart until it gave you back to him.
But he couldnât.
All he could do was sit there, gripping your hand too tight, his fingers threading through yours as if holding you hard enough would tether you here, force you to stay.
"Please," he murmured, barely a whisper, forehead pressed against your temple, pleading into your skin. "I need you."
More than he had ever needed anything.
Ominis swore under his breath, shifting as the shackles clicked, magic flaring violently before it shattered, sending a wave of heat pulsing outward, knocking dust from the ceiling.
The spell broke.
Sebastian jerked forward, pulling you into him as life snapped back into your body. Your limbs twitched. Your breath hitched. Your pulse jumped beneath his fingertips.
"Thank fuckâ" Sebastianâs grip tightened, his body curling around you, anchoring you against him like he could force your soul to stay inside your fucking body.
"Sebastian," Ominis muttered, voice thick, tired. "She still needsâ"
Finally, the Healers rushed in.
Sebastian barely registered them. His arms were still locked around you, his body curled over yours, keeping you anchored against him like some desperate, helpless thing.
"Sir," a sharp voice cut through the air, firm but cautious. "We need to assess her condition."
Sebastian didnât move. Didnât even acknowledge them. One of the Healers reached for his shoulder, intending to physically pry him offâ
"Donât bother." Ominis's voice was sharp. A clear warning.
The Healers hesitated.
"Heâs not going to let go," Ominis said, voice resigned. "So donât waste time arguing. Just work around him."
Sebastian heard that. Felt it. But his grip didnât loosen. Not even as hands moved over your body, casting diagnostic spells, pressing against your ribs, checking for internal damage. Not even as a warm glow filled the air, as magic hummed through you, as one of the Healers sighed in relief and muttered something about stabilization.
Another set of hands pressed against him this timeâhis ribs, his chest, fuckâhe barely managed to bite back a hiss when something sharp burned at his side.
Right. Heâd been stabbed.
Healers were already diagnosing him, murmuring between themselves, muttering about blood loss and fractured ribs.
Sebastian barely processed it. His eyes were on you. Only on you. The rise and fall of your chest.
"Youâre gonna be fine," he whispered against your temple, barely audible, his voice still raw, still thick with something unbearable. "Youâre okay."
The Healers worked. The Aurors still lingered. The world around him was moving, spinning, shiftingâ
"Sebastian."
Sebastian finally looked up.
Ominis was standing now, his wand gripped in one hand, his face carved from stone, but Sebastian knew him too well.
There was tension there. A weight behind his expression that was dangerous.
"Iâm going to fix this," Ominis said simply.
Sebastian frowned, his mind still sluggish, too caught up in you, in keeping you here, to fully process what he meant.
Then it hit him.
Crucio.Avada Kedavra.
Sebastian had cast two Unforgivables in the middle of the fucking Auror Department.
Ominis sighed, running a hand down his face before muttering, "Merlin, you make my life impossible."
Sebastian managed a short, breathless laugh.
"Donât move," Ominis said. "Stay with her."
Sebastian didnât plan on going anywhere.
Ominis exhaled through his nose, turning on his heel, and then he was gone, already making his way across the room, already stepping into whatever bureaucratic fucking mess Sebastian had left behind, already handling it.
One of the Healers, still somewhat exasperated by the fact that Sebastian refused to let go of you, sighed. "Sir, can you stand?"
Sebastian barely glanced up. His fingers were still curled around yours, tightly, like if he so much as loosened his grip, youâd disappear.
"Yes."
The Healers exchanged looks, clearly unconvinced. One of them muttered something under her breath, but aloud, she only said:
"Then follow us. Sheâs stable, but both of you need to be under observation. And weâll need to speak with her when she wakes."
Sebastian forced himself to his feet, his body screaming in protest, his ribs aching, his knuckles raw, his vision swimming for just a second before he locked his knees and shoved through the pain so he could carry you down the hall.
He hardly remembered the walk to the Hospital Wing.
All he knew was that the moment you were in a bed, he was there. Hovering. Watching. And when they tried leading him to another bed across the room, he tugged his own bed directly next to yours.
The Healers sighed. One pinched the bridge of her nose, muttering, "For the love of Merlinâ"
But they let him.
They moved around him, murmuring amongst themselves as they workedâclosing the gash along his ribs with precise, practiced wand movements, mending the bruised muscle beneath his skin, forcing him to drink something vile that numbed the throbbing pain in his knuckles. Someone cast a spell to soothe the soreness weighing down his body. Someone else checked his vitals.
It all blurred together.
Finally, after what felt like hours, the room settled into silence.
The Healers left.
The heavy weight of magic in the air dissipated, leaving behind only the dim glow of the lanterns and the quiet hum of distant voices from the hall.
Sebastian lay still. Exhausted. Sore.
His body felt like it had been dragged through hell. Every inch of him ached, the phantom pain of adrenaline still lingering in his bones, his knuckles still raw despite the Healers' best efforts. But his mindâ
His mind wouldnât stop.
He stared at the ceiling, watching the patterns in the stone swirl and shift under the flickering light, but all he could see was you.
The moment he realized you were gone. The blood smeared across the ruins. The way your body looked lifeless under the weight of those cursed shackles. The fucking fear. How close he had come to losing you.
Sebastianâs fingers curled into the sheets, his nails digging into the fabric as his chest tightened with something raw, something suffocating.
He was never going to let this happen again. Never. He would never go another day without telling you the truth: that he loved you. That he had always loved you. That you were the only thing in this godforsaken world that mattered.
His head turned, gaze drifting to you. Still asleep. Still too pale.
But alive.
The breath that left his lungs was shaky, uneven. A ghost of a thing. Thenâ
A movement. A stir.
Sebastianâs eyes snapped to your hand, watching as your fingers twitched against the blankets.
He shot up immediately, the sudden movement making his ribs scream in protest, but he ignored it, pushing himself onto his elbows, heart slamming against his ribs as he watched you.
Your eyelashes fluttered. Your head shifted slightly against the pillow. And then your eyes opened.
Sebastian froze.
For a moment, his brain refused to process what was happening. He had spent the last eternityâhours but what felt like yearsâtrapped in a suffocating haze of fear, pain, and fury. But then your eyes opened.
His chest caved in.
"Fuckâ" The word barely left his lips, broken and shaky, a raw, wrecked thing. He hadnât even realized he was gripping the sheets, white-knuckled, his entire body locked so tightly with tension that nowânow that you were looking at him, alive, breathingâhe thought he might actually fall apart.
He swallowed hard, forcing down the lump clawing up his throat. He had to keep his voice steady. He had to.
"Hey, sweetheart," he rasped, and fuckâhe wasnât doing a good job of it, wasnât doing a good job of anything, because his breath shook the second the words left him, and suddenly it was taking every bit of strength in his body to keep himself together.
Your brow furrowed, your eyes dazed, unfocused, barely tracking his face as you blinked sluggishly.
"Sebastian?" Your voice was hoarse, raw from disuse, but it was you. It was your voice, alive, and he nearly lost himself right then and there.
"Yeah, love," he breathed, nodding quickly, reaching for your hand as if trying to ground himself, as if trying to make sure you stayed here, tethered, with him. "Iâm here."
You exhaled a slow, uneven breath, eyes darting around the unfamiliar room, blinking as you tried to place yourself. "Whereâ" A pause. A slow inhale. "What happened?"
Sebastian opened his mouth, then shut it, his throat tightening.
Where the fuck did he start? How did he say it? That you had been taken, that you had been chained up and cursed and dying in his arms, that he had nearly lost youâ
That he had murdered a man because of it.
"Youâ" His voice cracked. He sucked in a sharp breath, exhaling through his nose, forcing himself to steady. "You scared the shit out of me, thatâs what happened."
Your brow furrowed again, still groggy, still trying to process. Then, after a long pause, you sighed, your voice scratchy.
"You look like shit."
A wet, breathless laugh punched out of him before he could stop it, something caught between relief and absolute fucking devastation.
Before he even realized what he was doing, Sebastian moved, shifting onto his knees, ignoring the way his ribs screamed in protest, the way his body ached from the fight, from the blood loss, from every single fucking injury he had ignored.
It didnât matter. Nothing fucking mattered except you.
Sebastian climbed over the narrow gap between the beds and into yours.
"Sebâ"
You barely had time to react before he was pulling you into him, wrapping his arms around you, pressing himself against you.
His body curled over yours, his fingers clutching too tight, his face burying into the crook of your neck.
"You scared me," he whispered against your skin, voice wrecked, trembling. "You scared me so fucking bad."
You shifted slightly beside him, your body still sluggish, still weak from everything, but your hand moved, sliding up to rest against the back of his neck, fingers threading into his hair, your touch so fucking gentle it made his chest ache.
"Iâm here, Sebastian," you murmured.
His breath hitched. Then he broke.
A sharp, ragged inhale. A violent, shuddering exhale. His fingers fisted into your clothes, gripping so tightly it felt like he was holding on for dear life.
And then the first tear slipped free.
It hit the bare skin of your shoulder, vanishing into the fabric of your hospital gown, but another followed. And another. His face twisted, his breath coming uneven, shakyâhis entire body trembling with the force of what he had been holding back for hours.
His chest ached, physically ached, with the sheer weight of it all. With the terror. With the helplessness. With the image of youâchained, barely breathing, slipping away from himâburned into the back of his skull like a nightmare that would never fade.
A choked, wrecked sound clawed its way up his throat, something between a sob and a breathless gasp, and fuckâhe couldnât stop it.
His shoulders shook as more tears spilled over, hot and unchecked, his face pressing into the crook of your neck as he cried.
He hadnât cried in years.
Not when he had stood over Solomonâs lifeless body. Not when he had nearly lost himself to grief, to rage, to everything wrong inside him. But thisâ
His breath stuttered again, a broken, gasping thing, his tears falling freely now, soaking into your skin as he held you so tightly it should have hurt, but you didnât pull away.
You didnât tell him to stop. You just let him.
"I love you," he whispered, voice cracked, wrecked, barely more than a breath against your shoulder. "I love you so fucking much. Iâm sorry I never said it sooner."
His entire body shuddered with the weight of it. With the relief. With the fear. With the unbearable, suffocating truth of how close he had come to never being able to say it at all.
He felt your fingers twitch against his back, hesitant but there, like you werenât sure what to do with him like thisâbecause this was something no one had ever seen.
Sebastian breaking. Sebastian weeping. Sebastian, who had spent years hiding behind sharp grins and reckless bravado, now unraveling, falling apart in your arms.
And he didnât care, because fuck hiding. You had almost died, and he had almost never gotten the chance to tell you.
So he did. Again.
"I love you."
He had never meant anything more in his entire fucking life.
Sebastian felt your fingers tighten against his back, your grip weak but still there, still trying. It was barely anything, just the faintest pressure against his spine, but it sent something wrecked and aching curling through his chest, something raw and unbearable.
You were holding him.
And after a beat, after a long, quiet moment, you pulled back ever so slightly, just enough to meet his gaze.
There were tears in your eyes. Not from pain, not from fearâbut something else. Something that made his pulse trip over itself, something raw, something knowing.
Your lips parted, voice hoarse, cracked, still heavy with exhaustion.
"I remember now," you murmured, blinking slowly, your expression distant for a moment as if piecing it together in real-time. "It was Rookwood."
Sebastian exhaled sharply, something tight in his chest releasing at your wordsârelief, fury, heartbreak, he wasnât even sure what the fuck it was. He just knew he never wanted to hear that fucking name again.
His hand came up, his fingers ghosting over your cheek, his touch almost desperate in its gentleness,
"Heâs dead."
You blinked at him, your breath hitching just slightly as his words settled over you. Then something shifted in your expression. Not relief, not satisfaction, but a quiet, unshaken certainty.
Because of course he was.
Your lips curledâjust barely, wobbly and weak and so fucking beautiful it made his chest ache.
"You came after me," you murmured, like it was something youâd just now realized, something that settled over you like a slow-burning warmth.
Sebastian let out a sharp, breathless laugh, shaking his head slightly, his lips pressing together for a moment before he said, "Of course I did." His voice was still hoarse, still raw from everything, but there was something steady beneath it. Something true. "Iâd follow you anywhere."
Your breath hitched, and for a moment, you just looked at him. Really looked at him.
"I love you too."
Sebastian swore the entire fucking world stopped. His breath caught in his throat, his pulse stuttering violently in his chest, his entire body locking up becauseâ
You loved him too.
His eyes burned, his throat tightened, his fingers shook where they were still clutching onto you.
And thenâhe was kissing you.
Soft, desperate, aching.
His hands cupped your face like you were something holy, something irreplaceable, his lips pressing against yours like he was trying to carve himself into your very fucking soul.
It was a kiss that held everythingâthe fear, the relief, the love neither of you had spoken aloud until now. It was unsteady, a little broken, but it was real.
When he finally pulled back, it was only because you both needed air, his forehead pressing against yours, his breath still uneven. His thumb brushed against your cheek, so painfully gentle it made something deep inside you ache.
âYouâre still shaking,â you whispered.
Sebastian let out a soft, breathless laugh, one that barely even sounded like him. âYeah,â he admitted, voice raw. âI think Iâm gonna be shaking for a while.â
For a long moment, neither of you said anything. It was just the sound of your breathing, the distant murmur of voices outside the infirmary walls, the rhythmic, steadying beat of your heart against his. The world had been so loudâso chaotic, so terrifyingâbut here, in this fragile, stolen moment, there was only silence. Only you and him.
Then, softly, you said, âIâm okay.â
Sebastian exhaled sharply, like he wasnât sure he believed you, like he wasnât sure he ever would, but his fingers tightened against your back, and after a moment, he just nodded.
âYeah. But Iâm still never letting you out of my sight again.â
A weak laugh tumbled from your lips, breathless and exhausted, but real. âI figured.â
Sebastian huffed, but there was something warm beneath the sound, something a little less raw now, a little less wrecked. He leaned down, pressing a lingering kiss against your temple, letting it rest there, like a silent promise.
âYouâre stuck with me now,â he muttered against your skin.
Your fingers curled in his shirt again, holding him close, feeling the steady, unshaken certainty in his words.
âGood.â
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy fandom#sebastian sallow#fanfiction#ao3 author#archive of our own#fanfic#sebastian sallow x mc#ao3 fanfic#ao3 link#sebastian sallow fanart#hogwarts legacy sebastian#sebastian x mc#sebastian sallow x you#sebastian sallow x reader#hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry#hogwarts legacy fanfic#hogwarts legacy mc#fluff and angst#angst#x reader#x you#x y/n fluff#x you fluff#female reader#reader insert#hurt/comfort#18+ mdni#fluff and romance#fluff
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That sub!Jayce post really popped off, huh?

Ehehe okay here's my rambly thoughts about it (I'm literally sitting at work clocked out writing this instead of going home because THOUGHTS)
Building my theory off of this post:

And this one with all the examples of how Jayce's love language is clearly physical touch
*Disclaimer: there's a lot about season 2 that irked me in terms of plot and characterization so this is me retconning a little bit and picking and choosing what examples make the most cohesive argument. Like, in season one they're like "Jayce has this brotherly relationship with Caitlyn and him and Mel have this deep, meaningful relationship" and then season two was like "No more relationship building, it's time for trauma now" but, I digress*
First things first, he's a people pleaser. He does what he's told, clearly (against better judgment but like). And he's clearly committed to the people he cares about. HE BROUGHT VIKTOR BACK FROM THE DEAD (AND THEN KILLED HIM) AND THEN DIED WITH HIM AGAIN. You can't tell me that wouldn't translate to an "I'll do anything for you" attitude in the bedroom too.
I already did the bed gif but I also have to draw attention to the following:
Okay but season two, post-horrors!
Mr. Dopey Heart-Eyes McGee is NOT the one calling the shots here.
Season one Jayce? That man is whipped. One glance from his partner and he's on his knees like it's a religion. Whoever you ship him with! Mel, Viktor, both, a secret fourth option--
He spent an indeterminate amount of time alone, in the bottom of a pit. He's touch-starved but also! Traumatized!
Imagine, if you will, that he survives the astral plane. Imagine he goes to find Mel, or Viktor also survives, or imagine your own y/n, OC insert scenario here. Whatever floats your boat.
In such scenario, and in the aftermath of his self-awareness epiphany where he realizes that yeah, he's kinda been used (by everyone really), I think that in regards to any potential sexual relationship, he would have to become more dominant, more in control of the situation. Especially if it's with Mel, since he does pointedly blame her, or even Viktor, who has literally shaped the course of Jayce's entire life since he was a child. The man needs to set some boundaries with people and good for him.
So I think dominant, scruffy Jayce does have a time and a place.
However, I don't think he'd stay that way forever. It's kinda like him trying to be a politician-- it's a different role that he can pull off, but it doesn't fully scratch his itch.
BONUS HEADCANON: Wouldn't it be just so interesting if he survived the astral plane and goes back to whoever, and while he's looking for comfort and reassurance and all that physical contact he's been deprived of, he realizes that he really doesn't like people touching his head.
I hypothesize that in regards to canon relationships, Mel and/or Viktor, once they regain his trust and show that they're not trying to use him again, he's 100% going to be simping for them even worse than before. Like, that relationship would've gone through the fire and only come out stronger on the other side. You might even say it's been vulcanized.... đ¤
From the on, he can go back to letting his walls down around them and letting them be the dominant one because he knows there's solid trust and respect there now.
Feel free to agree or disagree đ¤ˇââď¸ also please feel free to tell me all your thots about this too!!!
He's got all this beautiful hair that needs to be tenderly pushed away from his eyes by a loving hand, but he's a little fucked up from the times Mannequin/Mage Viktor did that little murder mind meld.
Like, he put his head in Mel's lap TWICE, you know it would kill the man if he couldn't do that anymore because having someone's hands near his forehead is too reminiscent of... well, basically his death.
#jayce talis#arcane#arcane spoilers#viktor arcane#mel medarda#jayvik#jaymel#Jaymelvik#meljayvik#arcane headcanon#meljay
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This is just a food for thought thing bc I have no where to really share this. I (ofc) do the self insert/day dream thing with Logan, and yeah like most fan fics I tend to put others first and TRY to be kind. But I'm also very stubborn and protective. And I know MY ass would get all defensive and "I'll beat the shit out of you for insulting him" about Logan (even if he's taller and stronger), but I never would about myself. So imagine tiny lil s/o reader being held effortlessly by Logan when they get mad at how someone for how they treated him
this concept actually has me swooning as someone with my father's temper. i would go down bloody and bruised in a fight for logan's reputation, but he wouldn't LET ME.
He's laughing. You've got vitriol on your tongue, rage fueling your actions, and blood spread across your knuckles and he's fucking laughing. You aren't sure what's worse. The words the man - now stumbling away from the bar - spewed, or the fact that Logan has his arm clamped around your waist - a grin curved around the lit cigar he's been puffing.
"You about done bub?" he chuckles, hand yanking at your hip to turn you into his body.
The glare you give should send him six feet under, but the pride on his face kills your rage quicker than you would have liked.
Whatever argument transpired was petty. You knew this. Logan knew this. He just never expected you to throw your drink in the drunk's face. Proceeding to nearly break his nose by slamming his face into the bar-top.
"He called you a piece of shit," you growl - feral and untamable to others. Cute and his little spitfire to him.
Logan shrugs. "Been called that before."
"Not with me around."
"And what were you gonna do about it huh? His face is bleeding. I think ya made your point."
Anger trickles down into the petulant grim expression you wear like a mask. It's sobering to know that you'd be laid out flat on the filthy floor of the bar if you kept that fight up. If Logan hadn't yanked you away from the man, curses flying out of your mouth quicker than Wade's jokes.
His hand is warm against your cheek, the amusement clear in his expression. "He can call me a piece of shit boyfriend all he wants. I'm fine with that. You know why?"
The pout isn't cute - you know that - but the sight of it makes his grin deepen. His hazel eyes sporting a shine of awe he only wore for you.
"Why?"
"Cause I have you. And he doesn't."
#logan would have to pull me off and drag me out of that place BITING AND SHOUTING#witch aunt responds#botanicalpsychic darling#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x y/n#logan howlett x you#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#my writing#logan thoughts & musings
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â§Ë° Brian Moser x serial killer fem!reader
â§Ë° summary:
The Ice Truck Killerâs back in town, and somehow he's stuck babysitting you; Miami's newest would-be killer.
Helping you out wasn't at all his original intentionâhe'd rather see you dead, you know far too muchâbut he supposes he could spare an evening to undomesticate that hungry beast inside you. Show you how to really live your life.
In which Brian helps you kill someone who utterly deserves it, and the kill room turns into a horny sex-fueled bloodbath.
â§Ë° wordcount (chapter 2): 17k
â§Ë° chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six
â§Ë° ao3
â§Ë° taglist: @Impala1967 @fan-goddess @ireallydontknowohcrabs
â§Ë° warnings: serial killer fem!reader, reader insert, explicit sexual content, rough sex, passionate sex, fucking in a kill room, dark romance, dark comedy, canon typical depictions of blood and gore, enthusiastic consent, mutual pining, impact play, playing with your food, serial killers in love, banter, dirty talk, voice kink, trauma bonding, babysitting a serial killer, implied sexual abuse of a child (you're killing this mf donât worry), torture (youâre torturing this mf donât worry), Brian is his own warning, enemies to lovers, biting, daddy issues?, blood play, a bit of angst a dash of bloodlust & a heavy splash of spice, Brian loves to fluster you and he won't shut the hell up going about it, Brian survives season 1 in this house

â§Ë° author's note:
im having too much fun with this, but also editing chapters this long inflicts psychic damage so please forgive the inevitable rough spots. iâm sure there are some but iâm so over editing. i tried making it shorter but every time i tried it just got longer its 17k đđ
anyway hope youâre ready for your date with a wanted serial killerđ
(thereâs a few nods to the books throughout, including Brianâs little red car)

â§Ë° chapter 2
You still canât believe youâre actually doing this.
Accepting Dexterâs brotherâs helpâthe Ice Truck fucking Killer, which you can still hardly believe. Begging for it, even; for him to help you kill someone.
The Ice Truck fucking KillerâŚ
Even now, you have a hard time wrapping your head around it.
Youâd dedicated so much time and energy into catching that serial fiend, and now he was practically your mentor. So unlike his brother, yet so strikingly the same. Dexter was hungry to know everything about a person before killing them; performing weeks, even months of diligent research on every facet of their beings.Â
But BrianâŚ
He hadnât asked a single question about who heâd help you kill. It could be your own mother, for all he seemed to care. A wolf with a scent for blood. He gets a whiff, he doesnât hesitate, he comes running.
Heâd agreed to help you so much more willingly than Dexter had, and for that, at least, youâre grateful. It remains to be seen if youâll be grateful for anything else.
It doesnât matter that this man that youâll killâs not a killer. He still has this coming. Has it coming from you, and doubtlessly deserves so much more, so much worse, andâ
The whirlwind of thoughts inside your addled head will not settle, will not calm; battering the walls of your mind into harsh, jagged edges of unease and doubts and questions upon questions andâ
Struggling to swallow, you once more do your best to ignore that storm inside you. Sucking down a deep breath. Forcing yourself to.
You can do this.
The cards of it are already falling out of place, all around you, and you canât pick them up again, canât shove them back into their previous shape.
You donât want to.
This is happening.
Youâre killing this prick tonight.
Itâs too late now, not to, and you donât want to turn backâ
You can do this.
You can do this.
YouâŚ
Youâre at the precinctâŚ
On a SaturdayâŚ
Today is already going so wrong.
You just needed to submit a slew of paperwork for a court case early on Monday. Just in and out; it wasnât supposed to take long. Yet now itâs nearly noon, and your partnerâa thick man with a thicker mustache named PĂŠrezâwell heâs here, too. The pair of you without lives, always working. And heâs droning on and on about somethingâprobably where the two of you should stop for lunch, as if youâll be here that long (you already are), but you canât hear him. Anxious eyes flitting from him and Masuka, whoâs joined in on whatever this conversation, in checking the time on your phone.
Your anxious eyes grow wider.
Shitâ!
You were supposed to meet Brian at the hardware store twenty minutes agoâŚ!
Ignoring Masukaâs lame attempt at a joke, you focus fully on your computer. Sending off a few last emails, finger nearly breaking through your mouse with every click, before youâre grabbing whatever papers you were working on and even some you werenât, scraping the mess of them off your desk, shoving them into your bag and youâre sure theyâre all crumpled but fuck it, this canât wait, Brian canât wait, you should have left alreadyâ
âHey!â PĂŠrez calls as you abruptly stand, his deep voice following after how you speed-walk through the glass-enclosed walls of the precinct. âI was talkinâ to you!â
âGotta go,â you shoot back bluntly. âTalk to Masuka.âÂ
âBullshit,â he calls as you continue speeding off. âYou donât got nowhere to be!â
And you donât know why you say it. Youâre panicked, maybeâhavenât thought out a decent alibi like you really already should have. But either way, you blurt back on harried instinct, âIâm going on a dateâyou know, trying my hand at a social life? You should try it sometime.â
The surprise of that must shut him upâas it should, you donât dateâbecause he doesnât yammer after you any longer as you push out of the roomâs heavy glass doors. Impatiently stabbing the silver elevator button before you so you can fully escape, all while inwardly smacking yourself because now PĂŠrez is definitely going to grill you about a date that never happened first thing on Mondayâabout a date with a serial murderer both he and you chased after personally, along with everyone else on your teamâabout a date where youâre going to fucking kill someone and fuckâfuckâ!
Youâre bad at this. Youâre so bad at this. Youâre a homicide detective, you should know better, know what youâre doing, know what to look out for to not get caught, but instead youâre leaving threads that anyone could stop in and pull atâ
You need to calm down.
Why are you so nervousâ you werenât this tense before last night.
This is Brianâs fault, somehow, you just canât place exactly why. Doesnât stop you from blaming him, though.
Breathe.
In.
Out.
Slipping into your cheap, little car.
Driving out of the precinctâs lot.
In.
Out.
Youâre meeting the Ice Truck Killer for a date where youâre picking out murder weapons.Â
Itâs not that big a deal.
Breathe.
InâŚ
Honestly, you donât even know why youâre doing this. The shopping part, at least; not the murder part. You have all the reason in the world to murder that vile excuse for a human being, but a shopping spree?Â
Dexterâd left you a few of his knives. Not all of them, mind; just a select few, which was hard enough for him to do, you could tell as he left them. Those knives, what they do, what they have done⌠Theyâre an extension of himself. And you were grateful to him for having lent them. But when youâd received a call from an unknown number after leaving his apartment last night, youâd heard Brianâs deep, smoothly serrated voice on the other end.
âIâm surprised you pick up calls from unknown numbers,â heâd immediately teased, and just as suddenly youâd wanted to hang up on his smarmy, cocky ass. Only resisting because you do really need his help.
Heâd said to pick a hardware store of your choice. To meet him there tomorrow, at twelve PM sharp.
âWhy?â youâd asked, helplessly suspicious of him. Maybe because you knew what he was. Maybe because of something else you couldnât quite name, just out of reach, its murky outline barely untouched.
âYou want my help, donât you?â heâd returned instead of answering, and you hated what his voice did to you. What it still does to you. Its silken roughness instilling fear and something else so very warm, unraveled and cloying and copper-sweet in the back of your turbulent mind.Â
Luckily, your stifled lack of response mustâve been enough of an answer for him.
âYou only get to kill a man once,â heâd purred in your ear, and you were glad he couldnât see you worrying your lower lip. âYou may as well do it right. Twelve PM. Donât forget, my lovely protĂŠgĂŠ.â
But you did forget. Till twenty minutes past. And now youâre here, at Miami Lumber and Hardware, at 12:37 PM on the dot.
Heâs going to kill you.
Youâre halted a stuttered step whilst rushing through the parking lot as you think it, since it was only a figure of speechâbut this is Brian Moser. He might actually kill you. Itâs certainly not an improbability.
Once again reminding yourself to breathe, it still takes concerted effort to actually drag the air into your lungs.
You canât help it.
Brian makes you nervous. This is just an unfortunate fact.
The man, isâŚ
Cold. Calculated. Ineffable.
And yet, the way heâd held his brother last night, when Dexter had greeted him homeâŚ
Once youâd learned that Brian was Dexterâs brother, you couldnât fully blame Dex for letting him escape Miami, not even after everything with Deb. It was fucked, but they were brothers; they were blood. But their closeness in that moment last night made you see, very clearly, that even monsters can have something resembling a heart.
And yet that heart is nowhere present when Brian looks at you. You can see that, too. The darkness of that viscid void which crafts him, reflecting light as a mirage, as a distraction; a light which from his dark cannot exist.
It certainly doesnât make you any less wary around him. Not to mention how he might have some unpleasant feelings toward you for being part of the task force that ran him out of town, that even now would apprehend him. But itâs not like Dexter wasnât part of that task force, too, soâŚÂ
Maybe heâd forgiven you.
You werenât about to ask.
In any case. Heâd agreed to help you. So maybe you should just be grateful for that and stop questioning everything ; just focus on the arduous task at hand instead of spiraling once again into doubt.
As you quickly approach the hardware store, you catch sight of a looming shadow standing just outside its wide, automatic front doors. A shadow you soon realize is Brian. Black buttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up his lithely muscled forearms. Hands in the pockets of dark slacks. Onyx, browline sunglasses shielding his likewise onyx gaze, like heâs just too cool to give a damn, though really you suppose itâs just part of his disguise.
He looks good, just standing there. Effortless, modelesque. And the longish mess of curls that tease his jawline, along with the dark scruff of beard definitely suit him.
It somehow makes all of this so much worse that heâs attractive, and for a second you wish you were blind, just sightlessly bumbling into him.
His dark eyes must flit toward your slowing, cautious approach from behind his shades, because a cheeky half-smirk takes hold of one corner of his lips. Especially as his focus feels to drape over you. Dropping languidly to the motion of your hands, unthinkingly clenching at your sides, which you immediately force to stop upon his notice.
âLook what the cat dragged in,â he observes as you finally reach him, low and smooth as ambrosia on an unpolished blade, its edges always rough. âThought you mightâve stood me up. And on our first date, too.â His brows are tugged in a light crease of woe above his handsome shades. âI was this close to having my heart broken.â
Itâs ironic that his âcover storyâ for whatever the hell this is the two of you are doing is that itâs some sort of âdateâ, too.Â
Does that make it official?
God, you hope not. You canât break your dating dry spell with someone youâve tried apprehending.
âPretty sure thatâd require something inside your ribs to actually break,â you return; his smirk rubbing you the wrong way. Like heâs endlessly amused by the tragically Shakespearean comedy that is you. âUnlike whatever cobwebs are probably hanging there.â And, brushing past how he idles there watchfully, youâre already halfway through the automatic doors beside him when calling, âYou coming or what?â
You barely hear his little chuff; half amused, half something darker, as the tower of him turns to swim within your wake. So much like a shark stalking after you that youâre tempted to drop the âtoo cool to turn aroundâ act and instead keep your vigilant eyes on him.
Youâre still debating whether to turn or not when instead youâre physically jolted by him suddenly appearing right beside you; his smooth and lengthy steps easily outpacing the rigidity of your own.Â
âSo, little killerâŚâ he slowly muses down at you, with a glint to his side-long smirk. Slipping his shades from off the bridge of his nose, before folding and tucking them in his breast pocket. All while you do your best not to look at him since every time you do you seem to lose your train of thought like some kind of idiot. âWhere shall we start?â
Steps slowing to a halt, you peer about the overwhelming vastness of the giant store around you.
You have no idea where to startâwasnât this whole thing his idea?
âYouâre the one who wanted us to come here,â you mutter. Biting the inside of your cheek to somehow steady yourself before meeting the intensity of his gaze. âI donât know what weâre looking for.â
He seems to assess you a moment, before heâs sliding one hand gently around your waist, which straightens board-stiff at his brazen touch.Â
His smile grows as he eyes you, though by all appearance heâs just cordially guiding you by the small of your hesitant back toward the slew of bright red shopping carts bunched up near the front of the store. And though youâd like to think youâd smack his unwanted hand off of you, seeing as how you donât need his help to grab a goddamn cart, you donât really know what to think anymore. Somewhere, just⌠secretly glad? That heâs taking your reins of uncertainty? Leading them through whatever daytime fever-dream this âdateâ is turning out to be.
Whatever makes this nightmare end more swiftly.
âYour teacher to the rescue, then,â he says, oh-so-helpful. Ushering you toward a cart, which youâre too mired by worry and doubt not to grab hold of obediently. Following where he steers you further into the massive store, and heâs won you over that easily, you guess. Heâs your shepherd; youâre his sheep. But what are you supposed to do? Deny the help heâs giving? At this point thereâs nowhere to go but down whatever darkened hole he leads you.Â
Still. You wonât follow him down undefended. Stealing a glance, as innocuously as you can, at the Glock openly holstered at your right hip as he leads you deeper into the store, past the rows of registers. Its weight resting on your jeans a boon against that ongoing storm howling within you.
Brian seems to like the whole âobedient sheep to his shepherdâ thing, much to your chagrin. He smiles, anywayâa dusky crudeness to its soft shapeâas his hand at last leaves your back, and instead he strolls alongside your cart casually.
You imagine the two of you probably look quite cute to someone who doesnât know what the fuck is happening behind the scenes.
âDexter told me he lent you some knives,â Brian says, conversationally. And he does make it sound so normalâlike youâd borrowed them to fillet a fish, not a person.
This is the most fucked up small talk on a âdateâ youâve ever heard or hoped to be a part of.
He tsks his tongue in your silence, leading your way past a few aisles after glancing at their headerâs above. And you donât know what heâs looking for, but heâs your shepherdâyouâre forced to trust him in wherever heâd guide you.
âNot exactly inspiring,â he muses. âHe does get more creative, from time to time.â A shade of amusement hints his lips. âVery creative, really.â Though at length, he hums as if the state of Dexterâs a shame. âBut he doesnât play nearly enough with his food.â
âIs that why weâre here?â you finally find your voice. âBecause you want me playing with my food tonight?â
He spares you a glance from how he otherwise scans all the inventory you pass.Â
âIt matters, how you kill a person,â he says. âAt least, as I surmise, it does tonight.â
âWhat do you mean?â
He looks away, like he doesnât actually care about this conversation.
âThis person,â he says at last, as he leads where youâll follow. âThat youâre taking care of. He deserves this. Right?â
âYes,â you respond without hesitation.
At that, he smiles his low, warm smile down at you. Allows its shallow warmth to burn through that storm you feel.
âWell⌠I donât know the detailsâdonât need the detailsâbut Iâd venture further this is punishmentâŚâ The idea seems somehow amusing. âAm I wrong?â
No. Heâs definitely right. Though you refuse to think about exactly why youâll punish that bastard tonight. It always makes you see red, steals away everything else, and youâre already hopelessly distracted in Brianâs presence. So perhaps itâs lucky he doesnât care, doesnât ask, so that at least youâre left undistracted by that.
Youâll worry about making that fucker pay for what heâs done when you face him tonight.
How you strive to steady yourself is disjointed as Brian takes a loose hold of the front of the cart; escorting you down an aisle of hammers and other blunt-edged tools.Â
âSo shouldnât however you kill this person be a punishment,â he offers mildly, âin and of itself?â
You donât realize you arenât responding; havenât spoken in a while. Have stopped your cart from rolling for who knows how long while your knuckles begin to go numb with how tightly they cling to its bright, shiny handleânot until Brianâs shadow is suddenly so close to your side. And, blinking rapidly, you twist up just in time to see him lean down to your ear. Murmuring hushed words, just for you.
âFuck Dexterâs knives,â he breathes, the heat of it sparking each hair on your nape to attention. âWhoever this bastard is, he surely deserves the worst end you can give him. A quick death is far too nice. Donât you agree?â
Heâs the devil on your shoulder, but youâre in no position to disagree.
A flash of that man youâll kill, Gary, flashes through your mind before you can stop it. Shoved away with such nauseating hatred that you push forth your cart with enough newfound purpose youâve left Brian behind. Vindictively eyeing each item as you pass, before settling on a box on one row. Judging its label with a tense jaw before tossing it into your cart.
Brianâs caught up in no time, though he strolls in no decided hurry. A low chuckle rumbled in his chest as he seemingly eyes the box of the belt sander you threw in.
âWell, thatâs certainly creativeâŚâ he approves with a side-long grin.
âIâm not sure Iâll use it,â you admit, keeping your momentum forward. Focusing as best you can before his mere presence distracts you again. âIâm keeping my options open.â
And though you try desperately not to look at him, hindrance that he unwittingly is, you hear his smooth smile as he says, âA woman after my own heart. Maybe youâre not such a horrible student after all.â
Your cart wheels stop just long enough to glower up at him; annoyed by how his height always towers over you. âSince when was I horrible? Iâm doing everything you ask.â
âAfter showing up here late,â he says, maintaining the affable bedside manner of the prosthetist he used to parade as. âAnd asking far too many questions.âÂ
Reaching for the small of your back again, his fingers steal away your objections as they curl so slightly into the curve of your waist, speeding your heart with their gentle pressure.
He leads you toward a row of rubber-ended sledge hammers. Leaving your side to take one off the rack. Testing its massive weight between his surgeonâs hands. Speculative, before breezily tossing it into the cart, which rattles beneath the bulk of it.
âSoâŚâ he drawls, too politely; changing the topic to something else. âWere you on the task force to bring me inâŚ?â
The answer lodges somewhere in your throat. Caught there more and more the longer he passively watches you. And okay. Maybe he didnât forgive and forget the whole âyou trying to apprehend himâ thing after all.
âSo was your brother,â you point out in lieu of answering, which in truth is answer enough, just the version with you too chicken-shit to answer directly.
You focus on moving forward; gripping your cart like a shield that doesnât help at all against how you feel his little smile crawling over you. Focusing on your feetâon his feet, striding alongside yours. Staring at those burnished leather Elkans he wears, nearly black, clipping mute vinyl floors, and though you have no idea how a man on the run from the feds has the means to pay for shoes that nice you make a point of not asking.
âTrue enough,â he says. âDoesnât make either one of you less of a hypocrite.â
Disgruntled, your gaze turns sharply up to him. âWould you rather I just cuff your ass right now and take you into the station?â
He seems to find the idea of that funny; suppressing a hum thatâs not quite a laugh.Â
âIf you think you can drag me in.â
Idly, he unhooks from its post in the rows and rows of tools a pair of small, yet sharp needle-nose pliers. Eyes alight with something as he regards you; thumb roaming the instrumentâs blunt, metallic edge.
âWhat do you think, detective?â he asks. âCould I have these jammed in your trachea before you pulled your gun on me?âÂ
The weight of your Glock feels to burn against your hip, itching for you to grab it, though you stiffly donât move.Â
âMaybe,â you admit. Not daring to pull your gun right now to even the odds of a hypotheticalâor at least you hope itâs hypothetical. âBut it wouldnât kill me right away.â Your voice is hard. âIâd still shoot you in the back as you ran away in those fancy shoes.â
He does laugh at that. Strong and warm, as he steals a glance at his leather Elkans.
âDonât you like them?â he wonders with a sly little smirk.
And of course you do, theyâre handsomely crafted, but he doesnât need to know that. So instead of answering, you just push off down the aisle with the cart.
âCan we just focus on the task at hand?â you ask as you hear his footsteps closing through the distance after you. Turning out of one aisle and into the next, with no destination in mind other than creating more distance between you. âI donât exactly want to be caught in public with you.â
âYes, that might ruin your reputation down at the station, wouldn't it?â
âJust a bit.â You toss a few items into the cart whilst assuring yourself that youâre making this rich bastard pay for everything. Tossing in a few more pricey-looking tools you probably wonât even use at the thought. âEspecially when I told my partner that I was on a date right now.â
No sooner have the words left your mouth that you vehemently regret their utterance, cause why did you just admit that? And just like you worried, like you expected from Brian at this point, he smells the chum of possibly humiliating you on the water and slips forward for a bite.
âYouâre already telling your friends about us?â he asks, a cunning fox, and maybe you will go for your gun. âHow cute⌠Itâs a little soon for me to be telling people about our relationship, personally, but⌠Iâm glad youâre so enthused.â
Your ears burn for reasons unrelated to severe embarrassment, youâre sure. âHe asked where I was rushing off to and I panicked, okay?â
You hear his little sigh. âWhy doesnât that surprise me?â
The cart rattles as you toss in a few more tools at random. âIâm new at this.â
âYes,â comes Brianâs musing. âYouâve made that painfully clear.â
Desperate to ignore the awkward heat crawling up your face, you slow past a row of different saws. The wheels of your cart dragged to a sudden halt before a vast array of chainsaws, which admittedly seem a little heavy for you to wield, seem a little much and are surely overkill, but...
Still. Youâre oddly drawn to them. One hand already reaching to test the sharpness of a bright, hornet-yellow oneâs row of exposed teeth.
Time feels to slow as you study it. With you so distracted that you donât even notice how Brianâs stopped his ever-incessant, clever commentary behind you; merely enjoying the merciful silence.
âWhat do you think?â you ask at last, unturning, as you mull the idea of you with a chainsaw inside your head. And itâs not a terrible image⌠âToo messy? OrâŚâ
Silence, from your ever-yapping, homicidal mentor. And at last you glance back at where he stands, just behind you. His dark eyes, shadowed by dark lashes, trained to the blade-teeth you touch, yet as though heâs staring right through them.
As your expression grows inquisitive, he blinks, dragged from the seeming depths that leave him lost inside his own head.
âHm?â he absently hums, like he hasnât heard you.
Your interest curiously traces what little his expression ever betrays to you. âWhat?â you ask of his uncharacteristic silence, though he just impassively eyes you.
âWhat?â he returns; innocuous, mirroring you.
Your brows furrow up at that leaden mask he wears.
âDonât what me,â you counter. âI saw you thinking about something. And if you donât tell me what that is, youâll swiftly learn how annoyingly persistent I can be when my bloodhound brain grabs scent of something.â
He regards you down the length of his strong nose. Seeming taller than he actually is, which is already imposing. Eventually carding back his hair; dark curls tangled in his fingers with his incensed glance away. âYou really are a headache, arenât you?â
âAbsolutely I am. Now tell me.â
With mild exasperation, his dusky eyes return to you. Their grievance soon to fade in place of muted speculation. âI was just lost in memories. Private ones, I might add. Ones Iâm guessing Dexter never told you.â
Youâve never seen him so⌠tentative. Not even in this miniscule amount. And your confusion, just like your interest, slowly rises. âWhat are you talking about?â
He eyes you a moment more. Unreadable. âIâm talking about our mother, Detective Nosey,â he says. Gaze assessing yours, as if searching for something there, weighing if he should tell you. And youâre not sure what he looks for, if he finds it, though eventually he continues.
âShe was butchered with a chainsaw,â he says at last, far too casually. Reaching past you to drag one lengthy finger along that chainsawâs serrated edge in the absence of your touch. His eyes gaining that faraway look again. âRight in front of us, when Dex was three and I was four. Dismembered limb by limb, as that engine echoed off the walls, along with her begging us not to look, to close our little eyes, and we were left in the mess of it. The blood of three addicts and our motherâtwo inches thick by the time that engine finally stopped.âÂ
His finger slowly drags down the jagged length of the blade, while you listen on in growing horror.Â
âThey didnât find us huddled in that blood-damp, hellish dark for two days, and by then the only reason I cared was in protecting my brother.â He exhales a little laugh with zero humor to it. âApparently thatâs all anyone cared about. âCause he was adopted by the first cop on scene, and Iâdecidedlyâwas not.â
His dark gaze turns to you, and you cannot comprehend what lie beyond its blackish surface.
âSo, to answer your question,â he says, so nonchalant in your speechless shock from responding, âItâs not a bad choice. Though certainly messy.â
You canât seem to think. The story heâs spun sinking a weight in you, dragging your stomach right through the floor. Left with not knowing what to say, blown away as you are by the cruelty held within such an offhand confession.
âBrian, I'mâŚâ
Your tone is raw. Quiet. And he smiles at you unhappily; hand falling loosely to his side, away from the blade that dismembered his mother.
âDonât,â he cuts you off bluntly. âWhatâs done is done. Pitied apologies never help.â
âI know they don't,â you counter, voice stricken, and you swallow with the effort to make it more firm. âBut that's⌠That's fucked, Brian. And⌠I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that happened to you.â
For a moment, he merely eyes you. Every line of his handsome face meticulously sculpted in place, held perfectly still.
âAre you expecting me to thank you for that?â he wonders at last.
You hate how vulnerable you feel, when heâs the one confessing something so traumatic that it surely formed him. His and Dexâs extracurricular pastimes sure make a lot more sense now.
âNo,â you say, feeling stupid, feeling childish, that youâre so unwound by such a ruthless tale while he clearly is not. And maybe you should just let it go, should just stop talking, but you canât. âI just had to say it.â You meet his watchful gaze, your jawline hardening. âAnd if I could kill the fucks who did that to your mother, I would. Iâd hunt each one of them down. And I know Iâm not the one who should make them pay whatever price for what was done, but Iâd still make them pay it.â
Some part of youâs already planning how you might, how you couldâif theyâre even still alive, or if indeed there was more than one person involvedâit doesnât matter, youâd kill them all, assuming Brian hasnât already. Almost tempted to ask if he has, all while Brian just observes you in a silence which draws on. Something beyond the indecipherable veil of him fixed on you, keen at your edges, as if gauging your scent; toying the curious touch of his attention across your unseen depths.
Eventually, he subtly smiles, and you cannot comprehend that smallest stir half-buried within his gaze.
âCâmon,â he says, taking your waist again; hand warm and smooth across your lower back and he steers you further down the aisle. âWeâll save the chainsaw for next time. Iâve something more easily controlled in mind for a first-timer like yourself. And if you donât like that, youâll at least appreciate what weâre grabbing at our next stop.â
And surely youâd halt if he wasnât more-or-less forcibly guiding you forward.
Next stopâŚ?Â
This nightmare date isnât over yet?
Your arguments that there wonât be a ânext timeâ where youâll be swinging around a chainsaw are effectively snuffed by the way his knuckles idly trace up the length of your spine as you walk together. The contact light, yet utterly fatal in regards to your ability to think in anything more than jumbled sounds that resemble language. And as he gauges a few items as you pass, he lightly â ah âsâ whilst nabbing a box one-handed; tossing it carelessly into the cart atop your already mountainous treasure trove of murderous hardware.
You glance from that box to him, already questioning, âA reciprocating saw?â
âA Moser favorite,â he says, roguish. âElectric. No outlet required. Perfect for when working remotely.â And yeah, itâs pretty obvious heâs done just that before.
He guides you toward the checkout counter up front before releasing you from the seeming hypnotism of his touch. Smiling at the college-aged girl ringing up your vast array of items, and let me tell you, your stomach shrinks upon seeing all that gear laid out in front of you, like a line-up of your potential crimes laid bare. Your insides cinching tighter with every item slowly rolling down that sluggish conveyer belt as he lays them all blasÊly upon it, like it moves that slow just to mock you, to shame you.
Pliers, hammers, a hacksaw. The sledge hammer you saw him throw in. Some sort of hose, a nail gun, a hatchet, a multitude of various saws and drills. Tarps, of course, and some kind of large metal clamp (what is that for?), a dremel, bolt cutters, the belt sander (you regret picking that out now), a motherfucking chain? A chain? What, are you beating this guy to death with a chain now?
Itâs like a loony toon assortment of bullshit, only missing an anvil, that youâre sure will get flagged if the body is ever found hacked into a million pieces by every piece of hardware known to man. âCause, oh, how convenientâsomeone purchased a million kill tools the night before the mysterious thousand-tool killer took someone out, and that personâs definitely been recorded on the storeâs many security cameras.
You shouldâve worn a disguise. Youâre such an idiot.
By maybe the tenth item, the cashier seems to think this purchase is becoming somewhat odd. Go figure. And she eyes each item that she scans whilst stealing more and more weirded out glances at Brian and you. Which probably isn't a good thing.
You try to squeeze yourself out of existence behind Brianâs towering form. Let him take the fall for this.
Meanwhile, Brian flashes her his most charming grin.Â
âWeâre taking up woodworking,â he says, without a care in the world. âGotta make sure we have all the right tools of the trade.â His dark gaze lowly glimmers. âWhat do you think? Did we get them all?â
Itâs the lamest excuse, and yet the girlâs cheeks visibly warm and she giggles at whatever look he must be giving her.
The following conversation is perhaps the most shameless and painful thing youâve ever had to stand there and witness; a form of torture in itself, when itâs supposedly you who was to do the torturing.
âY-yeah,â says the girl, scanning a bit more absently. It takes her five swipes to get a claw hammer with a giant and completely obvious barcode to register, what with how her eyes are glued on the âdateâ youâre hiding behind. âWhat kind of woodworking do you do?â
âMostly construction, but I dabble in the arts. Walnut and pine sculptures, that sort of thing.â
âOh really?â
âReally.â
âThat sounds hardâŚâ
âYou just have to know what youâre doing~â
âYou must be good with your hands, then.â
âOh, Iâm good with lots of things.â
âO-oh, like⌠like what? For, um, example?â
âI could offer a demonstration⌠Youâd have to come out from behind that counter, first, though...â
She titters again and you think a vein on your brow might be close to bursting, though admittedly youâre not exactly sure whyâher laugh must be annoying. Luckily thatâs when he swipes his card for the outrageous billâthe front of which you note bears a name thatâs not his, so as far as covering your tracks goes thereâs at least that.
You lug what feels a million heavy bags into the cart whilst patiently smiling (grimacing) at your flirtatious construction partner.
âCâmon, David ,â you read the name on his card, already pushing the filled-up cart to go. But not before seeing him toss the flustered cashier a little wink before following after you.
Ugh.Â
Gross.Â
Youâre storming out of the store, out into the parking lot as the cart wheels rattle before your way. Barreling forth in no particular direction and for no particular reason other than what you just witnessed inexplicably making you sick, when Brianâs hand suddenly latches around your wrist, arresting you solidly in place, jerking you gruffly to a halt right before the speeding blur of a giant, blue truck flies past the front of your cart by maybe an inch; the speed of it whipping wind against your startled face.
Frazzled, you merely stand there while your racing heart tries to escape your chest. Blinking far too quickly, before twisting your gaze back to Brian. Undoubtedly relieved by how he just saved you from slamming into a carâseriously, he just saved you? Yet even then, you force annoyance to your tone; perhaps to hide your embarrassment at just how irredeemably unfocused you really are right now.
âWhat?â you ask him sharply.
His eyes trace your face. Seem to note how your molars are grinding. And as you glower, he slowly starts to smirk.
Gods, you hate him.
âYouâre walking in the wrong direction,â he says.
Which maybe you were, though you find youâre not fond of him correcting you right now. âWhere am I supposed to be walking?â
He nods toward a little red car parked off in the distance through the lot. Pristinely polished. Expensive looking. âThat oneâs mine.â
âOf course it is,â you nearly roll your eyes at him. Twisting your wrist from his grasp in heaving the heavy cart forward againâafter glancing both ways in ensuring you arenât about to be flattened by a truck, this time.Â
âYou know,â you grouse as he walks right beside you, âyou didnât have to make sure that cashierâs still daydreaming about you tonight, considering the actual boat-load of homicidal gear weâre carrying.â And seriously, he didnât have to lay it on so thick. âThereâs no way she wonât remember you after that performance.âÂ
He keeps up with you so easily despite how desperate you are to outpace him, until eventually you just give up and push the cart at a normal pace.Â
âAs distracting as you awkwardly standing there was, I thought Iâd better step in,â he says. âI was worried you might blurt out some sort of confession for a crime you havenât yet committed under the scrutiny of her tiny-minded gaze.â
You feel yourself scowling. âIâm not an idiot.â
His soft lips purse like he somehow doubts that. Though all he says is, âWould you rather I have just let her keep forming ideas about everything she was ringing up amidst your incriminating, nerve-bitten silence?â
You bite your lip. Finally reaching his expensive car. âI guess not,â you admit.
He smiles down at you as you do your best to ignore him. âGood. Then stop being jealous.â
Your brows cinch hard at that, with you tearing your gaze directly toward him. Scoffing immediately, âJealous of what? â
With the way he scarcely seems to register your overt revulsion at the prospect, you wouldn't be surprised if nothing in life ever bothered him.
âOf me flirting with our cashier,â he says. Fetching from his pants pocket the keys to his flashy car, which chirps before you as its doors are unlocked, its small trunk automatically popped open. Â
You take the opportunity to distract yourself by cramming bags into the trunk as though doing so were a timed olympic sport.
âYouâre so full of yourself,â you say over the sound of shifting plastic bags, the thud of metal on car-trunk floor. âI barely even know you. If anything I was trying not to cringe out of existence hearing how shameless you are.â
Youâre unprepared entirely for how he takes your waist from behind in both his hands; spins you around without warning. Nudging the backs of your wavering knees against the bumper of the car while he smoothly steps in, cornering you there, with little room left between your body and his.
He smirks at whatever your floored expression, trapped beneath the looming of his. Leaning down to your ear, pouring wicked words inside it.
âSo what if Iâm shameless?â he asks, amusement curled through his inflection.
When his lips just barely graze your ear, purely accidental, it's like a basilisk's spiked you with venom. Turning all of you to stone, your lungs helplessly forgetting to function.
âDon't be jealous,â he murmurs. âAs delightful as that is, Iâll spare you the torment. You need to be focused, my woefully inept student. And besidesâŚâ he sounds to smile, âsheâs not my type.â
He leaves you there just as suddenly as heâd pinned you. So effortlessly snatching away your ability to speak, as he turns instead to filling up the trunk youâre still teetering weak-kneed against. Left with the realization that his dark, graveled voice is as much a weapon as any in his arsenal of toys.
Youâre still reeling as he pauses loading to instead open the passenger-side door for you; the sound of it drawing your flustered attention. Looking at you expectantly as you just stand there, trying to dislodge your heart from where itâs leapt into your throat.
âIâll load the rest,â he says, careless as ever. âGet in.â
But you still wonât move. By choice, this time, not due to his unwanted effect on you. Warily glancing from opened door, to him; the leashless animal offering it for you.Â
âI have my own car.â
âI told you, weâre not done shopping,â he lightly puts forth. âAnd itâs easier if we drive together.â
But you canât shake how that seems like a really bad idea. Being alone with him. But what are you supposed to do? If he finds you too difficult to deal with, he might rescind his help from off the table, and you are partners in crime for the foreseeable futureâŚÂ
Perhaps most convincing of all, in the endâwhat has you finally ungluing your apprehensive feet from off the asphaltâis the comforting weight of your gun, still strapped at one hip.
He can pry that from your cold dead fingers should he ever mean to take it from you.
Masking your hesitance, you drag yourself from where heâd pinned you against his fancy red car toward the seat he now offers. Cautiously watching that little smirk of his that spells trouble in half a million ways as he graciously closes the door after you, with you running one hand across the cool steel of your firearm the second the car door blocks it from his vision.
Gods, what are you doing? Getting in a car with the Ice Truck Killer?
You shake yourselfânoâ no âyou canât keep questioning everything. Heâs Dexterâs brotherâyouâre fine. Youâre doing what needs to be doneâwhat you have to.
You tell yourself this, yet still nearly jump out of your skin as the driverâs side door is eventually opened, with Brian sliding right in.
âHope you donât mind a little breaking and entering,â he says whilst revving the car, shifting it into gear.Â
Perhaps youâre too distracted to outright ask what that fucking means. âI think as far as potential crimes go, Iâm a bit past a misdemeanor.â
âWonderful,â he returns, with all the charm of a murderous Disney prince. And itâs clear Brian Moserâs a bad influence on anyone and everything trapped within the incessant pull of his orbit.Â
No wonder Dexter drove him away. Heâs too much of a risk.
And now heâs back, helping you âChrist, maybe this whole thing really is a terrible idea. And again, a warâs waged within you; one that results like it always does, in you reminding yourself for the hundredth time not to bite the dangerous hand that offers to help you.Â
The song Brian flips on the radio is about as cheerfully opposite a song can be from someone who bleeds their victims like cattle. And as he pulls out of the hardware storeâs lot, you glance back toward the trunk of the car; envisioning the cartoonish haul of bloodshed tucked away inside it.
âAre you sure we need to grab anything else?â you ask, with a glance at him. Which you immediately regret, because his rugged profile isâŚ
Goddammit, why does he have to be hot?Â
You tuck your traitorous gaze toward the window, staring at the world rushing by outside it. Spared for a moment from whatever this offensively attractive man does to you by merely existing.
âI could likely make due with what we have,â he says to the road; thankfully otherwise ignorant of you. âBut Iâm not going to. Our current haulâs for you, my impromptu protĂŠgĂŠ. This next tripâs for me, though youâre welcome to play with what weâll grab there. I need tools to dispose of the body, Ă la Dexterâs requested style.â He tosses you a look, one brow quirked as if to dare you. âUnless youâd like to fetch me my old ones out of wherever you stashed them away in evidence for meâŚ?â
Whichâ noâ you would not. Thereâs too much risk involved in digging through the many boxes of the Ice Truck Killerâs things, even when you donât know what else he has planned instead, where heâll otherwise take you.Â
âWould the barbies we confiscated be part of the required hardware youâd need me to steal?â you taunt instead of answering.
He simply exhales a small hum of amusement at that. Eyes on the road as a faint smile toys his lips. And in the end you suppose that playing with dolls isnât really the strangest thing about him.
âCanât we just see what Dexter has at his apartment?â you ask, assuming thatâs not where heâs already headed. âIâm sure he has the right tools laying around somewhere.â
And it seems, in the maze of his mind, somethingâs chewed before being left unsaid.
âThisâll be a whole lot simpler if you just learn to stop questioning me right now, instead of making me steamroll your objections over and over again like you have been,â he says. Glancing away from the road; challenging you with a look. âI know what Iâm doing. Unlike all others present.â
And though you fold your arms against him, you donât otherwise protest. Heâs not wrong, after all.
It isnât until the pair of you near a mountainous scatter of buildings, erected high with white stone and sea-hued windows, that you realize the next destination of your homicidal âdateâ is Miamiâs Jackson Memorial Hospitalâhow romantic. Which you donât really have an opinion on, until shortly remembering, like a kick to the gut, that he intends to steal god only knows from its highly secured, extensively monitored halls.
Your limbs are all stiffened with nerves as you turn to him while he breezes in through the hospitalâs lot, one hand on the wheel whilst carelessly searching for a vacant place to park.
âWeâre breaking into a hospital?!â
âWeâre walking into a hospital,â he returns, smooth as sin. Though his merrimentâs short-lived as he looks at you; dark eyebrows squinching up at whatever your expression. âStop looking so paranoid.���
âI am paranoid,â you shoot right back at him; like itâs impossible that he doesnât feel the same. âThereâs a lot of security here, way more than some random hardware store. And although your littleââ somewhat erratically, you gesture at his entire person, sitting there with one brow raised in watching you, ââ disguise âis okay, itâs not that okay when thereâs an ongoing manhunt for you by the fucking FBIâ! â
After weaving his car effortlessly into a spot, he watches you for a moment. Though when he should be slowly nodding in agreement, instead his lax expression falls unenthusiastically dull.
âYouâre overthinking this.â
âYouâre under thinking it!â
âJust follow my lead,â he more or less commands his âprotĂŠgĂŠâ. Already stepping out of the car. Standing just outside it, for dragging moments; door remaining ajar, with only his long legs and dexterous hands in view. Before eventually he dips his height in glancing in at you as you stare across the middle console staunchly, refusing to get out.
âThe longer you sit there pouting, the longer this will take,â he patiently says.
âIâm not pouting,â you argue, though youâre already riled enough into stepping gruffly out of the car. Unbuckling your belt as you do; stripping your holster off its length, before hiding your gun on your person; tucked away at the small of your back. All before making your way to the front of the car alongside where Brian waits for you. âIâm trying to make sure we donât get caught.â
âLet me worry about that part,â he says; smiling as you unwillingly fall in step with him as he leads you toward that high-reaching tower in the distance, its glass shimmering like azure gems in the afternoon light. âJust focus on playing your part. Weâre headed to an appointment. You, my timid, bumbling girlfriend, and I your dauntless, dashing prince.â
âI think youâre closer to a homicidal imp on my shoulder.â
âThe two arenât mutually exclusive.âÂ
The closer the two of you draw to the hospitalâs broad and bustling entrance, the more cameras you begin to spot at the corners of your vision. Hidden lenses high on light beams, tucked near the corners of what seems like every wall. This place doesnât take its security as a joke, and more and more it feels your panic forms a fist within your stomach, its fingers slowly tightening.
âLookâŚâ you hear yourself saying, as offhanded as you can muster in that moment. Trying not to sound like youâre panicking, which you are, more and more with each step ventured forward. âI appreciate you helping me in whatever morally questionable way this is, butâŚâ
Uncomfortably distracted, your words cut short as you spot through the crowd an overweight security guard, meandering just outside the hospitalâs doors. A guard who glances at you and Brian, pausing just a moment, before idling slowly on.
You donât know when you stopped walking, but by the time you tear your eyes away from the potential threat of him, Brianâs no longer beside you. Itâs like youâve only blinked, and heâs gone.
For some reason thatâs even worse than having him near you.
âBrianâŚ?â
Shitâ should you even say his name out loudâŚ? Itâs a common enough name, and you two didnât discuss using aliases, butâ
What if someone puts two and two together upon spotting you and him? Hearing you say his name? Internally prying the longer hair and dark scruff off him, leaving only Brian fucking Moser behind?
Airway feeling tight, you scan the loose crowd of people before you until catching sight of Brianâs dark, wavy curls looming over everyone else's heads, and for once youâre glad heâs so freakishly tall. But as you spring forth to catch him, your steps start to drag once more, as the closer you draw toward those impending hospital doors the more it feels the world shifts out beneath you, andâŚ
You canât really think⌠You canât breathe, youâŚ
Are you having a panic attack�
Are you seriously having a panic attack right now�!
â...BriâŚÂ DavidâŚ?!âÂ
You say it like you may otherwise drown, like heâs your lifeline, but thereâs no way he hears you from his place so far ahead, even in such a thin crowd. And you need to just breathe, youâre overreactingâneed to rein in your tenuous gaze from how it darts from lens to lens of every security camera, as if theyâre all watching you, piecing together the company you keep.
âThis isnât⌠This isnât a goodâŚâ
Youâve started backing up, now. Still staring at those hospital doors that loom before you, all while your heart slams into your ribs.
ââBrianâ?!â
All at once, a large hand wraps around yours, leaving you no time to react as youâre brusquely swept aside before you can call after him a second time. And you choke out a little noise of surprise upon seeing Brian there, expressionless, dragging you toward a less crowded side of the hospitalâs entrance.
He hauls you toward a small, manicured cluster of flowers and small palms, before steadying you within what seems a disapproving gaze, which certainly doesnât make you feel any less like a panicking idiot.
âYouâre entirely hopeless at this.â
You bite your lip to keep from biting something out more spiteful at him; still struggling to breathe. âYou think I donât know that?!â
At your heightened tone, he steals a glance at the foot traffic beside you before ushering you a little further away, further into the quiet. His hand grasping yours sliding slowly up the length of your arm, finding purchase near the crook of your neck.
Itâs an oddly comforting motion, and you find yourself helpless but to peer up into the stillness of his eyes.
âCalm down,â he says, slowly, like he doesnât fully comprehend why youâre so anxious. Like heâs never felt the dragging claws of nerves in his life. And though youâd normally expect him to mock you for falling apart like a moron, as you undeniably are right now, he at least seems genuine in talking you down. That, or you really are just that desperate to believe it.Â
âTake a breath.â His thumb draws a single line just below your clavicle, whilst you struggle to do as he says.Â
And, oh, lovely; here comes that mocking part you were so worried about, accompanied by him hiking a none-too-subtle brow at you:
âNot to make a tense situation worse, but if youâre this much of a mess just strolling into a hospital, exactly how are you expecting to follow through with your plans tonight?â But thatâs not all. âAnd how do you work in homicide, for that matter? Aren't detectives used to working under pressure? Or did you blackmail your way into getting what you want there, tooâŚ?â
Youâre not sure if you're wincing, bracing for the impact of his words.
âŚIs that itâŚ?
âŚ
Thatâs it.
For now, at least.
And you find yourself scowling. Hurt, which is of course ridiculous; you don't care what this bastard thinks. Though as you try to upsetly twist away, he only tightens his grip in response, keeping you captive before him.
Your scowl deepens before youâve given up. Heâs a lot stronger than you, and the last thing you need right now is to cause any more of a scene by punching him in the throat.
âIâŚÂ Look, this⌠This is just⌠A lot,â you weakly defend. Warbling. You hate yourself. Feeling even more small than you already do with the way heâs always towering over you, and so you look away, pretending he isnât currently holding you hostage. âEverything. Tonight. You, especially, IâŚâ Struggling, you shake yourself. Frowning at the ground. At the sturdiness of his lithely muscled chest. âAll of it. All Dexterâs and my weekâs of planning. Itâs all coming to a head so much quicker than I realized it would, and thereâs already so many loose ends, nothing is as foolproof as I wanted it to be, andâŚâÂ
Breathe.
Again, you struggle to shake yourself. To keep your voice lowered and calm.
âI canât⌠I canât fuck this up,â you allege at last. Willing yourself to sound firm in this. âI feel like I fuck up so much, but I canât mess up right nowânot with this. Thereâs too much on the line, and not just for me. I canât⌠My sister, I canâtâŚâ
You donât even know what youâre saying, not any longer. Fail even to realize youâve stopped talking at all, until Brianâs thumb smooths along the skin exposed just above your neckline.
Your eyes, as if with minds of their own, are suddenly trapped in the hanging darkness of his. And you cannot for the life of you read his watchful expression.
âAre you sure youâre ready for this?â he asks you quietly.Â
After moments more of wavering beneath him, you slowly grit your jaw.
âI told you we had a deal, didnât I?â
His hushed gaze passes across yours. âYou didâŚâ
âAnd what was your end of it?â you ask himâquiet enough to escape otherâs attention, yet honed with accusation. âThat if I changed my mind, youâd sit there and laugh at whatever that rotten bastard twice my size wants to do to me?â
He doesnât respond. Merely watches, without denying, and doesnât stop you as you finally succeed in shoving his hand away from you.
âIâm fine,â you allege; willing it with all your mustered strength to be true. âSorry to disappoint you.â And with that, youâre already walking out from under the looming shadow of him. âLetâs just get this over with.â
The hospitalâs lobby is a bright, massive dome poured through with natural light, filled by the bustle of so many people. Patients, doctors, nurses, social workersâŚÂ Security guardsâŚ
You catch sight of the portly guard you spotted outside, now lazily surveying the trailing crowd of people who surround you in the lobby. Your footsteps halting upon once again spotting him, hands wringing helplessly at your sides, until you nearly chirp out some sort of half-choked shriek to have Brian abruptly swoop in, scooping your hand in his. Entwining his long fingers with yours like a lover in leading you forth before you can nervously dawdle there a second longer, deeper into the sunlit bowels of this place.
âRelax,â he says; guiding you toward a little gift shop. To a small, vacant table just outside the sandwich cafĂŠ thatâs attached at its side. And as he pulls from it one of its metal chairs, ushering for you to sit, you obey only out of confusion whilst your mouth peters open to object.
âWhat are we doing?â
âStay here,â he says, as gradually you bristle against how he watches you.
âYou dragged me in here just to ditch me?â
He looks away. Barely paying you any mind as instead his interest travels across your surroundings. Seeming to take note of everyone and everything that passes through his vision.
âWould you believe me if I said Iâm trying to protect you?â he asks at last, with barely a glance.
You stare up at him as he continues to ignore you. Not knowing what to say to that. Not sure if you believe him.
In the end, it doesnât matter whether heâs genuine or not.
âI donât need protecting,â you mutter at length.Â
Heâs studious as his gaze returns to yours beneath him. Weighing something unsaid behind the veil that leaves him such a mystery, before eventually offering you his graceful hand.
One corner of his lips hints up at how surprised you apparently look to have so easily convinced him.
âAs the lady insists,â he says, quite simply. His hand remaining offered. âOff to our appointment, then, my love.âÂ
Even then, when heâs agreeing with you, you find you hesitate before actually accepting his help. Something just feels off about him, always â in some way hidden, with almost everything he does or says. But you have a part to play in whatever his plan in this hospital. The part of his girlfriend, so you take his hand like a girlfriend would and allow him to whisk you to your feet, his pianistâs fingers intertwining again with yours as he leads you through the lobby. Toward a broad, offshooting sunlit hall.
Down one hall, and then another, with your grip squeezing more and more tightly with every step he leads you toward some unknown end; one that might see you both arrested.
âAre you trying to make my fingers go numb?â he finally asks you, and you belatedly realize just how dry your mouth is, how tight youâre squeezing. Struggling to swallow just so you can speak.
âWhere are we going?â
He slows a step in glancing at a directory on the wall, before ushering you down another hallway, and at this point if you were asked to escape this maze on your own youâd be too lost to succeed.Â
âYouâll see.â
âOr you could just tell me.â
âThatâd spoil the surprise. Besides, what did I tell you about constantly questioning me?â
Something changes in his gait, just a hitch, but itâs enough for you to follow his pensive eyes toward a man at the end of the hall; a man who is swiftly approaching. Wearing teal scrubs and surgical booties, and itâs clear heâs in some sort of hurry.
âSpeaking of not questioning meâŚâ Brian muses, eyes on the man and his brisk approach. âI promise Iâll make this up to youââ
âMake what up to me?â you already question beneath how he hasnât stopped talkingâ
ââbut in the meantime just try and trust me with this next part, wonât you darling?ââ
And you definitely donât trust him, thatâs maybe the last thing that comes to mind when you think of him, but you donât have a chance to say that before Brian abruptly pivots the both of you toward the bend of an offshooting hall; effectively slamming the two of you into the man rushing toward you.
The man grunts out in startlement as you choke back a cry of surpriseâthe brunt of impact tearing your hand from Brianâs, sending you careening to the floor. But before the tile floor can harshly catch you, Brianâs snaked his lengthy arm around your waist; scooping you up against his side again, like a small, baby bird beneath his wing. Coddling you there as though youâre hurt, as though youâre fragile; turning your harried face up to his with a gentle hand steering your cheek while he asks, with such a visage of worry, âBabe, are you alright?â
You blink up at him stupidly. So surprised to see such a convincing show of emotion you still somehow find hard to believe.
Brian searches your expression as though for wounds he might mend, before tossing a vindictive gaze at the frazzled man before you. âWhat the fuck was that?!â
Heâs pissed. Youâve never seen him so irate. And the man in scrubs blinks just as stupidly as you do. His confusion transformed to concern, then shortly shifting till heâs tight and defensive.Â
He doesnât say a thing. Biting back, you soon guess, on arguing with a supposed patient.
âYou need to watch where youâre going,â Brian again berates him, and the man at last succeeds in swallowing what seems his objections.Â
ââmâŚÂ Sorry,â he puts forth gruffly. Like heâs too impatient to mean it; raring to hurry off again.Â
Brianâs harsh expression eases just a touch whilst his hand around your waist gives your side a little squeeze, and you canât deny you donât exactly mind being this close to himâŚ
âYou know what,â he extends at length, exhaling a tautened breath. â...This place is pure chaos. I think we mightâve turned right into youâIâm sorry, man. Itâs been a hell of a day.â
The manâs expression loosens somewhat in relief as Brian turns in gently assessing you. âYouâre not hurt, are you babe?â
Gods, you hate whatever ingratiating, carebear-tone heâs using. But you roughly swallow down distaste before forcing out flatly, âIâm fine.â Very much hating whatever this supposed plan of his is.
Thereâs a glisten in his gaze, just for you; lost before he looks to the scrubbed-up man before you again. âYou good man?â
The man nods, âYeah,â clearly in a hurry to see this awkward situation end. And Brian, ever courteous, sweetly sends him on his way.
âWellâŚâ he says, with a smile a touch too clever, his tone a touch too cloy. âOff you go, then~âÂ
The manâs jaw stiffens, though he doesnât argue what sarcasm bleeds through Brianâs otherwise kind dismissal. Just biting it all back before bustling off again, weaving his way past the both of you, hurrying once again down the hall.
You glance back over your shoulder, watching and waiting for him to turn out of sight, before raising a glare up at your supposed prince charming. âWhat the hell, Brian? That hurt. â
The curve on his lips is devilish. As, with the theatrical flair of a seedy magician, he presents to you a keycard with the scrubbed manâs picture on it.
âBorrowed this from our friend,â he says mischievously.
You kind of want to laugh at how proud he seems about that, but you stuff that down along with how you might be somewhat impressed with how quickly he was able to nab that while also catching you before you hit the ground.
âAfter throwing me into him,â you grouse instead of applauding him. âLike a human smoke grenade.â
He smiles at your pouting, not even denying it. Cooing in that fake boyfriend voice, âBaby, I said Iâd make it up to you.â Regarding you with all the playful craft of the devil himself as you wriggle and twist out from how his armâs snaked warmly around your middle, creating some much needed distance between yourself and him.Â
âYouâre the worst boyfriend Iâve ever had,â you sourly comment, to which he charmingly grins. Taking your hand again before you can stop him, steering you closer once more; your naval beneath his own, such is the height of him.
âOhâŚÂ BabyâŚâ he croons, like he feels so bad for you. Smiling so dark and sticky and sweet down at whatever your flustered face is doing beneath his. âYou havenât seen anything yet. Our dateâs barely begun, and Iâm only going to get so much worse.â
Releasing you from the near-fatal enchantment of his grip, he wanders further down the hall without you. Tossing back a little look across one broad shoulder as you just stupidly stand there, too frazzled to move. Hiking a brow expectantly.
âBetter hurry up,â he spurs you. âWouldnât want our scrubbed-up friend to find you here after realizing his keycardâs walked off all by itself, now would you?â
Itâs enough to prompt your reluctance into moving. As, no, you certainly donât want a stolen keycard being found in either of your possessions.
The further Brian leads you through the hospitalâs inner catacombs, the less natural light there is, until thereâs no light at all beyond the buzz of fluorescence overhead, washing out everything until your world is stale and lifeless. And as more and more employees brush by, all wearing surgical scrubs, the more querying glances you receive as youâre passing by. Yet still, no one stops you. No one questions beyond a glance. Something about Brianâs confidence stopping them. So it would seem youâre still allowed here.
That is, until you reach a set of heavy, double doors hewn of metal, slotted with miniscule square windows. A dead end, at which Brian flashes his stolen keycard without a momentâs hesitance; completely second nature to breaking in. Holding it flat against the little black box of the doorwayâs electronic lock, which beeps and flashes green before those heavy doors drag silently, automatically open.
Stepping through them after Brian, who steals carelessly in, your nerves are met with a wave of cold air as you wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering. Trying not to look as apprehensive as you feel, to be inconspicuous. All while Brian skates down these sterile halls like a lizard on ice. Like to pretend is a familiar second skin, perhaps even more familiar than donning the suit of himself.Â
He nods you toward a drinking fountain near a pair of wooden doors; one on either side of it. Pausing in ushering you near.
âNow, listen, my lovely pupil,â he says; a flute-playing charmer to his spiteful, sharp-fanged snake. âI doubt our friend has access to the womenâs dressing room.â His voice falls to a low, gentle murmur as some type of surgeon walks by, though it doesnât stop him from continuing. âAnd loathe as I am to leave you fidgeting in the hallway by yourself, potential mishap that you are, I need to fetch us our costumes.â
Your gaze darts nervously about. âIs all this really necessary?â
Thereâs no way this is necessary.
His eyes are on the passing surgeonâs back as he gently takes your upper arm, guiding you into that little crook within the wall which houses the doors and fountain, before he steals a glance about yourselves ensuring youâre alone.
âAll these questions,â he lours, his deliberation back on you. âSit. Stay. Iâll be right backâtry not to miss me too much.â
Youâre left to insipidly grumble, âWouldnât dream of it,â as he leaves to scan his keycard at the door for the menâs dressing room. Though he twists a clever grin across one shoulder before he departs.
âOh, I think you might.â
You donât have time to bite back with something witty before heâs gone, and heâs gone for much longer than you expected or are at all comfortable with, preferring toâve never been dragged in and ditched here at all. Left with pretending to get a drink every time someone busily passes so they canât see how out of place you probably look. Unable to come up with any clever reason for why you should be here, in what you guess is the OR. If anyone asked what youâre doing, if you work here, youâd have no way to prove whatever lie youâd spin that you do.
Youâre about halfway convinced to just ditch this handsome fuck to whatever devilry heâs up to while you instead hide in the car, when the door he passed through is suddenly opened, and with a sharp glance at the sound of it beside you, you almost donât recognize him.
Heâs wearing cerulean surgical scrubs, which billow yet somehow accentuate his tall, leanly muscled frame. Sky-hued booties are tugged over his overly expensive shoes. A laptop-sized black bag beneath one arm, which you assume was thefted from some poor someone in the dressing room, the bulk of it stowed with something. And you canât help but stare as he ties on the blue surgical cap around his messy web of curls, the jawline-lengths of which stick out at mussied angles. Because it's kinda dorky, but also kindaâŚ
Cute.Â
Okay?Â
Heâs fucking adorable right now.Â
And you stuff away your thoughts on this disastrous fact as you canât help but gobble down an unhealthy eyeful of him, before staring at the wall as though its blank canvas is the most fascinating thing youâve ever seen.
He seems to take a moment to remember youâre even there. Though eventually heâs raised a brow at whatever your face is doing.Â
Luckily, he doesn't further question whatever your discomfited expression.
âCâmon,â he says, leading your way down the hall. âNeed to find you a place to get dressed.â
A small frown tightens your lips before youâre hurrying after him. âWhy canât I get dressed in the bathroom?â
âTheyâre attached to the dressing rooms,â he explains as you bustle to reach him. âIâm afraid weâll have to get a bit more creative than that.â
Great.
Wandering through those chilled, barren halls, you try not to steal too many glances through the tiny windows of each operating room you pass, not wanting to look any more like a tourist. Morbid curiosity having you catch a few glimpse of surgical teams surrounding unconscious patients; short tapestries of teal and white and red.
Brian tries his keycard at a door opposite the rows of operating rooms, which flashes red, before heâs fluidly moved on to the next, which lightly beeps as heâs allowed entrance.
He sidles in just a step; gazing up, glancing down. And as you shift forth alongside him, you see a poorly lit stairway that seems a constructional afterthought. Quiet, empty, cavernous.
With a satisfied hum, Brian gives a small nod in motioning you follow him in. Leading your way down the stairs to a small, center platform. Both your footsteps echoing for many flights up and down this towering room, and the door feels to slam behind you with how hushed it is in here. And though youâre not exactly enthused at the idea of getting undressed in here, you suppose it's better than nothing, and does seem relatively unused.
Brianâs already shuffling through his leather bag as you meet him on the center platform, and heâs shortly offering you a pile of pilfered clothes the same color as his.
âScrub up, doctor,â he says, with a playful lilt. âWeâre expected in surgery.â
Though as you take the costume he presents, waiting for him to look away so you can do just that, you find he doesnât move. Doesnât turn from how you slowly, cynically eye him by even an inch. Appearing more expectant with every second, perhaps just as expectant as you, though clearly youâre expecting different things.
âAre you going to turn around?â you finally ask him.
His smirkâs so slight you barely notice it teased upon the softness of his lips.Â
âWhat,â he says, like heâs harmless. âIâm surveying the scene. Making sure no one stumbles across you with your pants down. Youâd probably tangle them âround your ankles and fall right on your face if that happened.â His handsome face dons a mockery of concern. âIâm protecting you.â
Heat rises up your cheeks. âGo survey the scene somewhere else!â
Youâre both at once distracted by the sound of a door opening high above you, both your gazes jerking up as it sounds to creak open, then heavily shut. Echoing about these vacant halls without anyone actually sounding to step in. And after moments of you both still and silent, tautly listening in ensuring youâre still alone, Brian finally looks back down at you.
âRelax, will you?â he states. Grabbing the loopholes of your jeans; tugging you just a step closer as your eyes grow all wavery and big.Â
Words are honey on his tongue as he asks, âIf I turn around will you stop being such a baby about this?â
You bite your lip, hard, before grousing up at him, âLet go of me before I pull my gun.â
It mightâve been a joke, if you didnât sound so serious. And though youâre not sure how a gunshot going off at Jackson Memorial is the best way to continue laying low, you could scrounge together some story of how you followed someone you suspected might be the Ice Truck Killer into this very stairwell, if you had to. Of how you had to kill that certain someone in defending yourself.
His expression doesnât change as he seems to weigh your words, the possibility within them. The merest glint, like sun on black ice, reflected from the recesses of his ebony gaze.
âSo touchy,â he slowly remarks, before eventually releasing you. Finally turning away; broad shoulders and slender waist facing the wall opposite you. âHurry up.â And you take full advantage of the absence of his dangerous gaze to change your clothes as quickly as you canâshedding your pants down hasty legs, wriggling into the lower half of your scrubs and tying them round your waist.Â
It isnât âtill you have your top pulled up over your head, bra fully in view, that Brian speaks again.
âYou need to learn to loosen up, detective,â he says to the empty space before him. âAll work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.â
âDonât quote James Howell at me,â you say, tossing your discarded shirt on the dirty floor before slipping the teal one over your head.Â
He sighs. âCan I do anything without you being a bitch about it?â
When he glances back at you, itâs lucky for him youâre fully dressed, seeing as otherwise you would have slapped him. And you despise how your cheeks start to burn as his dark eyes trace over you, slowly down your form, stirring unwanted heat in their wake. As slowly, slowly, they fall to the bulk of your gun, tucked awkwardly beneath the waistband of your pants.
Eventually, his eyes return to yours. Somewhat playful as he asks, âIs that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?â
âThe gun one,â you return without pause. âIâm not happy. Not to see you. Any more questions?â
He merely raises his brows like one might to an ill-behaved child. âYou canât bring that; itâs completely obvious youâre carrying. Someone will notice.â He offers his hand, nodding toward the clothes on the floor. âGive me your clothes,â he says softly. âAnd the gun.â He says it like an afterthought, but his eyes are intently on yours. âIâll hold onto them for the time being.â
Yeah fucking right.
Thereâs no way youâre letting this wolf in sheepâs clothing disarm you.
âNot happening.â
His handsome smile transforms to something else. Something with less warmth reflected on it, though still genteel enough. âYou're going to get us thrown into hospital prison,â he mildly jests, before adding more carefully, âDonât make me take it from youâŚâ
You're not even sure itâs a threat. It could just as easily be him joking. Itâs impossible to tell with him, or with any beast who doesnât bare its teeth before lunging.
You thumb up the hem of your shirt in snaking your fingers round your Glockâs grip.Â
âHow about I hold onto the gun,â you plainly suggest, âand you lead us the fuck on so we can get what we need and get out of here, hm?â
His gaze is a shadow. Something lurking in ice-carved trees, a prowling aura you cannot see through darkness. But eventually, that snow settles with the seeming warmth of his smile. The corners of his eyes gently creased.
âCanât wait to see you on stage tonight,â he says. Giving you a courteous amount of distance as heâs smooth to brush right past how you warily watch him. Heading back up those steps toward the door you came in, taking them easily two at a time. âAt this rate, youâre bound to give quite the performance.â
He lazily scans the keycard at the electronic lock pad near the door, which gains you access once more to the OR.
âAfter you, little killer,â he says; hands slipped nonchalantly in the pockets of his surgical pants as he leans back on the opened door in holding it open, carefully regarding you as you remain for a moment down the steps.Â
His eyes never leave yours as you dip down to grab your clothes off the floor in stiff, wary hands. As you make your way slowly up after him, impatiently tucking away your hair within the sheer, blue hairnet heâd previously bequeathed you.
One lithesome hand is offered at your approach, to which you hand over your clothes, and you assume he stuffs them away inside his bag before following after you as you hurry out into the hall, anxious to have him too close at heel.
His prowling, lengthy steps easily catch up to you, and itâs clear you could never outrun him.
âThis way,â he says, before leading you further down the hall. Mildly checking what lie past the windows of a few doors, while a surgeon and anesthesiologist pass making small talk. He pays them no mind, while you avert your gaze nervously, until at last heâs humming out a little, âAhâŚÂ Here we are.â Flashing his stolen card at a door which obediently chirps and pops open at his request, and he holds its way open for you.
âLadies first,â he says, with the watchfulness of a wolf.
You wish you could grab your gun as you pass him, but youâve made it this far without being caught, so you just swallow your never-ending nerves and hurry past him. Hearing his low, throated chuckle right behind you as he follows you in.
Even that drags its claws down your nape, leaving trickling trails of gooseflesh down your skin that tingle and tease until you haphazardly paw them off you.
You wander into some sort of sterile supply room; one with several operating rooms attached to it, divided off by heavy doors. Rows and rows of metal, rolling carts with shelving are laid out before you, along with white cabinets lining each wall.
Brian wanders in past how you stand there uncertainly like he owns the place. Like heâs been here before, though he hasnât. Or, at least you donât think he has. Itâs impossible to tell with him; he's a night-drenched enigma.
He tugs open one metal drawer, which rolls fluidly forth, before heâs swiftly closing and opening another.
âTell me if you see any hardware,â he says as his eyes take quick inventory of everything he sees. âSaws, drillsâthat sort of thing.â Pausing just a blip to regard how youâre just standing there instead of obeying your murderous shepherd, instead wavering in place, not knowing what to do. âGo on,â he spurs, the patient teacher. âGet looking.â
You glance around the cold, fluorescent quiet, before questioning in a whisper, âWhat if someone comes in here?â
âWhat if someone comes in here?â he returns, rather dull. Already focused once more on the hunt. âI donât know if youâve noticed this, but you look like a surgical tech. That was kind of the whole point. Just tell them youâre looking for saline flushes or a bag of dextrose or something.â
Saline flushes or dextrose?
âŚHow many times has he done this before?
Cautiously, you get to searching, seeing no quicker way of seeing this perilous mission through. Unable to stop how you furtively glance around the too-bright silence at every little noise that isnât Brian searching through drawers several shelves before you.
âAre you so familiar with this because youâve worked in a hospital before?â you ask to distract from your nerves. âOr because youâve made a habit of breaking into surgical units?â
You hear him slide closed a drawer and stride toward another. Completely heedless to the fully scrubbed male nurse who suddenly pushes into the room from one of the attached operating rooms.
The nurse glances at you both, before fetching a vial with a red lid from a cabinet right beside Brian. Walking back out again while you watch after him in anxious paranoia, and Brian seems not to notice him at all.
âDo I have to choose?â he muses, nonchalant, before exhaling a low and exclamative, âAh-Â hah~Â â
You suppose heâs hit the jackpot, thank godâand, closing the cabinet you were sifting edgily through, you make your way over to see what heâs so happy about. Spotting him spare a short glance about before stuffing some sort of⌠is that a saw? âinside his opened bag.
He smiles at your questioning look.
âOscillating orthopedic bone saw,â he explains, as though answering what youâve failed to ask. As if that will suddenly make sense to you, when you still have no idea what an oscillating orthopedic bone saw is other than itâll obviously make quick work of dicing marrow.
Why he couldnât just use a regular saw for that, you fail to grasp. Then again, thereâs apparently far more types of saws in this world than youâd ever realized before your adventures today.Â
You see him grab a few scalpels. Some forceps of various size, along with some different metallic contraptions. One of which especially appears like some kind of torture device, and you expressely donât question what itâs all for.
But heâs not done yet; by all accounts not having stealthed all this way just for nothing. He bags another sort of saw, like a thick wand with a small, circular blade at its fore, and something else you barely see beyond the tail of its electrical plug, before buckling closed his bag at last.
âI think weâre all done here,â he says. Motioning with his dark-scruffed, angular jaw back toward the door you came in. As if this endeavor was all so damn casual and not potentially life altering. âCâmon.âÂ
Your heartâs a skipping drum; your path from the hospital a restless dream. Neither one of you really talking as you follow him making his way so apathetically out of the hospitalâs surgical unit.Â
It isnât until youâre out of the OR that he makes what you assume is the allusion of small talk whilst the both of you retrace your steps through this sprawling maze, which you do your best to keep up with as though not anxious at all about the slew of stolen medical gear youâve got currently stashed away. And about halfway back to the gift shop (you think, such is your lack of direction), he nods you off to a patient bathroom to change, while he saunters off to do likewise.
You throw your scrubs in the trash, not knowing what else to do with them. Adopting once more your role of twitterpated girlfriend as he holds your hand and guides you, while you ignore how much comfort you draw from his touch. And by the time youâve both finally breached the hospitalâs doors, are tucked safely within the confines of his candy-red car once more, youâre so relieved youâre nearly giddy.
âFuck I never want to do that again,â you exhale, while he gives you that little look you suspect is once more questioning why youâre such a headache about everything, which you promptly ignore. âAlright, drop me back off at my car.â
âNot yet,â he returns. Smirking at your incredulous glance. âWe've still got some time to kill, amongst other thingsâŚâ Gods, he thinks heâs so clever, doesnât he? âAnd this isnât a proper date if I donât take you out to dinner before our show.â
Your stomach clenches at the mere mention of food, whilst he starts up the car beside you. âIâm not hungry, and this isnât a date.â
âOh, câmon,â he says, lighthearted. âYou canât work on an empty stomach.â
âThatâs precisely how Iâd like to work tonight, thanks.â
âWhy?â he asks, far too coy. âAfraid you might lose your dinner?â
Yes.
âNo.â
A smile slowly spreads across his face as he shifts the car out of park; eyes on the road. âI know just the place. Reclusive. Romantic. â
You feel yourself sinking lower in your seat as you stare desperately out the window.
Just what you needâŚ.
More time alone with this annoyingly good-looking freak.
âFine,â you say flatly, but he lowers his lashes like thatâs the most romantic thing.
âAre you always this in love with me?â
âI told you Iâm not hungry.â
âThen you can watch me eat,â he returns, promptly ignoring your complaints. âIâm starving .â
The sunâs just beginning to set, molten hues burned against palm tree skyline, as Brian pulls into an alley lot beside some warmly lit restaurant and bar youâve never heard of. The car wheels rumbling across old, cracking asphalt, before he weaves into a spot. Shifting his expensive car into park before getting out, and you sit thereâtensely, silently debating in that war within yourselfâdeciding if you should just refuse to follow him on inside, only to jump as your door is abruptly opened for you.
How does he keep sneaking up on you like that?!
Lofting from on high, Brian offers you his hand, and heâs really going in hard on the date angle, isnât he?
âMadam?â
Yeah. He really is. And he looks so cheeky about it, too.
But you just unbuckle your seatbelt and take his offered hand; adopting his beguiled tone as he helps you to your feet. âThank you, darling.â
Thereâs the smallest blip before his smile spreads wider, showing teeth.Â
Itâs so disarming when he smiles like that. Like he actually means it.
âCâmon,â he says, good-natured. Ushering you on his arm through the dim-lit alley, out to where the front of the small establishment is radiating warmth and low, Cuban music. Its walkway strung rafters-to-lamp posts with strands of fairy lights that dazzle against the oncoming night. Muted laughs and clinking glasses gliding out into the night from inside.
Itâs homey, this place. Like a hole in the wall where everyoneâs a regular, and you just know the food is worthy of licking your plate. But itâs hard to enjoy the comfortable, intimate ambiance when itâs the Ice Truck Killer leading you toward the elderly hostess who pleasantly greets you both; who leads you toward a secluded corner of the room, to a booth procured for you at Brianâs request.
He doesnât glance at the menu as he slides in opposite you, one arm spread along the ruby-pillow backrest of the seat you share, curved as it is around the darkwood table. âReady to order when you are.â
You pick up the menu as if it might contaminate you, the idea of food so presently revolting. âI take it you eat here a lot?â
âYouâd be hard pressed to find better Cuban food,â he says. âThe pollo sofritoâs good if youâre in the mood for chicken.â
You never thought a wanted serial killer would be so casually recommending you meals like it were the daily special. And you donât want to order a thing. But when the waiter arrives and Brian orders two pork cubanoâs (guess he really is starving), you just read the first thing off the menu you see, not really registering what it even is.
It takes a long moment to notice the way Brianâs cleverly smiling at you across the table.
âWhat?â you ask, but he only shrugs. Arm still comfortably outstretched along the curving seatâs backrest.
âNothing.â
Yeah fucking right heâs thinking nothing. Youâre starting to suspect this man is always scheming. But instead of calling him out on it, you find youâd rather pick his labyrinthine brain about something else. Something youâre surprised youâre so curious about, the more it presses upon your mind, though you donât know fully why. It shouldnât matter, but somehowâŚ
Youâre just curious.
âCan I ask you something?â you wonder across the table, and he quirks a raven brow in your direction.
âSeems to me you already are.â
Itâs enough of an invitation.
Still, you uncomfortably rub your arm. Tuck away a strand of hair to steady yourself, before pressing onward. All while he watches you with what seems a gentle, mounting interest.
âI barely knew who you were,â you say, âbefore⌠WellâŚâÂ
Before you were branded as the âIce Truck Killerâ.
You glance around, as if someone might be listening, might be privy to even your thoughts. Brian, meanwhile, doesnât shift an inch from how his focus lies on you. And when at last your eyes return to his, it feels his own have never left you.
âI was at the hospital when Tony Tucci was fitted with the prosthetic you made him,â you say, in a slightly more hushed tone. Just in case someone might hear you, though you must admit Brian chose this table advantageously for a pair of would-be executioners like yourselves. âThe grand reveal party, or whatever that was.â
His interest is visibly piqued; the curve of his rounded lips twitched in thought. âYou wereâŚ? Huh⌠I donât often forget a face.â
âI was only there for a few minutes,â you say, âand we never spoke.â Watching him closely as you add, âI saw you flirting up Deb, though.â
You pause, not sure if youâre waiting for him to respond to this, but he doesn't say a thing. And for a while, neither do you. The two of you merely observing one another from across the silent table. Attempting to peer inside one another, it would seem; to glean what secrets oneâs words would keep out of reach.
âYou guys seemed so cute together,â you murmur at length.Â
His expression doesnât change. He doesnât comment, doesnât deny, doesnât agree with you.Â
So you continue; left with no other recourse than to do so.Â
âWas any of that real?â
Far-off dinnerware clatters lightly outside your mutual intensity. The soft chatter of restaurant patrons mingled with the low hum of Cuban music, drifting slowly past your ears. And itâs all you can hear for a while, as the man before you remains in watchful silence.
Eventually, he scarcely inclines his head.
âNot even remotely,â he says, with such bare conviction you find it hard to doubt his words are true. âShe was a means to an end. Nothing more.â
Still, some part of you doesnât believe that. Doesnât want to believe that. You saw how much Deb loved him. What his betrayal put her through. Hell, she was engaged to the murderous bastardâwas never the same after meeting him.Â
He didnât care at all for her? Not even in the slightest, most incomprehensible way?
âWhy?â you ask, instead of denying what heâs told you.Â
He barely moves. Scarcely appears to even breathe in how he watches you. âWhy what?âÂ
Worrying the inside of your lower lip, you try again. Arenât sure why this is even hard for you to word. âWhyâŚÂ HowâŚÂ How could you not care about herâŚ? With how much she cared about you? She was completely in love with you.â
As you wait for him to respond, his expression slowly tilts into a frown.Â
âShe didnât care about me,â he lowly says. âShe cared about Rudy. A man who doesnât exist. She cared for a ghost, whilst despising the animal hidden inside myself. The only thing she loved was my leash; the bars of my cage, and I donât like hiding inside it.â His umber eyes trace across your expression. Calm. Unreadable. âI donât want Dexter to hide, either. Nor you. Why lie to ourselves about what we are? It goes against the laws of nature.â
Some shade of discomfort, something sinister and tight, creeps up along your nape upon him placing you in the same league as he and Dexter.
âIâm not like you,â you faintly protest, and he smiles; a cruel, bare curve.
âSure youâre not.â
You donât know why that ties so many strings inside you, wrenching them all into knots. And as the food arrives, with you and Brian accepting your plates in polar opposite displays of enthusiasm, youâre still hopelessly unsettled. Toying with the pasta you apparently ordered, far from anything resembling hungry, while Brian picks up one pork cubano and eats in giant, animalistic bites like a man half starved, and if there was ever any reason to doubt he was a relative of Dexter, seeing him eat was all the proof you neededâbetter than a DNA test.
âYou know,â he muses between wolfish bites, undisturbed by your previous conversation. âYou keep saying you have to kill this guy.â
âI do,â you mull at the table, stirring your directionless fork across your plate, before glancing up at him. Seeing his dark brows lightly pinch for a moment.
âWhy?â
For a moment, you canât even register the question; confused, and surprised as you are that heâs asking. Heâs always professed he didnât care.
But now that he is asking, youâre hesitant to explain. Not wanting to relive what makes you see that vicious, unforgiving red; that makes you hollow and hateful and nothing else.Â
You donât want to talk about it. But words are already falling from your lips.
âMy nephew is the cutest kid,â you say, sounding very far away to yourself. Still stirring noodles you no longer seem to see. âSheâs six. Ava. Quirky in this dorky, fun-loving way.â Your little smile at the thought of her fades. âHonest. Trusting.â
Too trusting; you push the thought away. Try to focus past that red which already bleeds along the edges of your vision, poisons your every heartbeat until you can hardly think.
âHer mom, my sister,she⌠Sheâs a single mom. Always working. And I canât babysit as much as Iâd like.â
Your fork stops stirring; words ashen in your mouth. And you canât seem to go on. Lost in a void of yourself.
In your silence, Brianâs nothing if not perceptive.
âWhatâd the babysitter do?â he quietly asks.
Your eyes flit up to him. Hand numb around your fork.Â
You donât want to think about it. Not until tonight.
âDoes it matter?â
âSeems to matter to you,â he calmly returns; dark eyes never leaving you.
Thereâs a stone in your chest where your heart once lived. A foreign, ugly thing that doesnât belong there.
âI found out he was⌠redefining the meaning of âstory timeâ,â you hear yourself say, unwilling to go into detail. Such vile disgust raising its hands round your throat, smothering you, that feels like they could at any moment consume you. âTurned it into a game she didnât like. One where he took all her clothes off...â
Youâve already said too much you donât want to think about; you wonât continue. And Brian, ever watchful, doesnât press for more. Though, after moments of dragging silenceâŚ
âYouâre a cop,â he says. Hushed, yet quite bluntly. âAnd you and Dexter have been planning tonight for... what? Two weeks?â His expression is carefully unmoved. âWhy didnât you just arrest him?â
Itâs like he already knows the answer. Just wants to hear you say it out loud. And though youâre loath to give him what he wantsâŚ
âBecause I broke into his house, instead,â you find yourself admitting.Â
Brianâs eyes are hawk-like. Perceptive to your every shift in expression. âWere you armed?â
You don't immediately answer. Or really answer him at all.
âIt doesnât matter,â you say. âHe wasnât home. But I found a bunch of hard drives under one of his floorboards while I waited for him.â Youâre surprised your lip doesnât bleed with how harshly you bite the inside of it. âOne had my nephewâs name on it.â
You donât know when you dropped your fork, only that youâre no longer holding it, and as you glare at the table it feels your jaw might snap.
âTurning him in is too good for him,â you murmur, so lowly you almost canât hear how every wordâs afflicted by hate. âI want that bastard dead. I want to feel the life stripped from his pathetic body, piece by excruciating piece. Want to hear as he chokes and sobs and gags and begs for mercy he never gave, and make him feel all those terrible things he made all of those little girls feel, and then I want to personally ship whatâs left of him to hell.â
You stare at the table for a long time. So long you forget where you are, who youâre here with. And when again you look at Brian, it feels his study never left. Remaining ever-watchful as he takes another giant bite of sandwich.
Itâs almost funny how he can eat at a time like this. Thereâs no way, in this moment, you could register what hunger even is.
âThe belt sanderâs starting to make a lot more sense now,â he remarks between hungry bites.Â
Heâs so calmâŚ
You should stay calm, too. Like he is. Youâll have to be in order to get through what youâre going to do tonight. But even knowing this, it still takes substantial effort to somehow shake yourself from this ugly beast thatâs crawled inside you. To shed its cruelly comforting skin and continue being human, instead of whatever vicious creature it would see you transformed to.
He seems to notice you struggling, or perhaps heâs just bored of your strangled silence. Either way, he swallows his next famished bite before you feel him reach beneath the table. His fingers just barely brushed across one of your knees, soft across the fabric of your jeans.
It makes you jump, not expecting his sudden touch; your eyes darting sharply up to his.
He smiles slightly to receive such rapt attention.
âDonât worry,â he says. And you find the stillness of him, the firmness, oddly soothing. Infecting your nerves and rewiring them into something more at ease. âHe may not know it yet, but his road to hell is coming.â Slowly, he smiles as he watches you. âSo long as you donât chicken out on me, that is.â
For a moment, you can only stare. But gradually, his taunting scratches through that stifling weight which feels to press on your every surface, until you donât know whether to cry or laugh, to scream or scoff or slap him, itâs all so overwhelming. But in the end, youâre somehow smiling, just like him. Its barest curve a mirror of his own.
âYouâd like that, wouldnât you?â you venture softly. âSeeing me fail. Watching what happens.â
Youâre surprised when he doesnât immediately agree. And you canât deny in him a sort of avid curiosity. A sort of hunger. A primal thirst, as he eyes you quietly from across the table.
âNot as much as Iâd enjoy watching you work,â he says at last.
Thereâs only you and him. This room, itâs noise, itâs chaosâall of it sinks away, far and deep into a void, until thereâs nothing left. And all you see is Brian, watching you like that from across the table. And all he seems to seeâright now, and since first sittingâis you.
#brian moser x reader#brian moser x you#brian moser#dexter#reader insert#wild animals#slasher x reader#fanfiction#rudy cooper#ice truck killer
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lavender haze (price x f!reader, explicit use of weed/smoking mention)
it was the happiest day of your life. john was on one knee, smiling and holding a ring box up to you. your smile was too big for your face. as you reached forward for him, the ground shook, causing you to look up. that wasnât right - you were in a hellscape. the air clogged your lungs, buildings were burning and screams rang out. the cries of innocents permeated the air. john was still on his knee, smiling. a popping sound surrounded you, then he wasnât smiling anymore. the ring lay in a pool of blood as your captainâs eyes glazed overâŚ
âwake up, lieutenant.â
you couldnât stop looking into johnâs eyes. and where was his hat? he never went to battle without it.
âcâmon, you need to wake up.â
you could hear them coming for you. the same footsteps that killed john. they were right behind you and-
âbaby please, wake up.â
you woke up with a gasp, the room pitch black around you. a lamp flicked on, casting the motel room in an eerie glow, illuminating the man next to you. your captain, decidedly and platonically just that, was a bit flustered, his hand on your back to track your breathing. âyâ were havingâ a nightmare.â you nodded, sucking in greedy amounts of air into your lungs as you calmed down your body. it was routine now, waking up in the middle of the night and walking yourself off the ledge of a panic attack. unfortunately, this time had to be when you shared a bed with your captain. platonically. for the mission.
âi find a smoke helps when i canât sleep.â heâs still here, rubbing your back in small circles. your heart jumps and you kill it with a reminder of how he fist bumps and shoulder taps the men on your team. it means nothing, heâs just being a good captain. âdonât have anything on me.â your voice is gravel, hoarse from the phantom screams in your dreams. ââs ok. i could use a smoke too.â he drops his hand, moving to get out of the rickety mattress this establishment calls a bed. you avert your eyes at the sight of him in a casual t-shirt and boxers, willing your overactive imagination to go away. the imagination that thinks about how heâd look after a one-night stand or a casual lie-in with his lover. the one that inserts you into the fantasy.
âcâmere.â the room has a small balcony, barely enough room for two, but he gestures to you anyways as he unlocks the door. there is something in his hand, but your sleepy brain tells you itâs too small to be a cigar. odd. when you walk outside, youâre immediately met with the edge of the balcony. itâs truly standing room only. a glance to your left reveals your captain looking for threats in the night sky, finally satisfied when his shoulders drop an inch. he takes out a lighter, something with the image of a santa claus that you can imagine gaz gave him as part of his old man jokes. john raises something to his mouth. the smell is odd, not that of his regular cigars, and it takes you a second to process as you wrack your brain. âis thatâŚweed?â he exhales in a partial laugh, restraining a cough since you ruined his proper exhale. âsurprised, lieutenant?â you scoff, reaching for the joint. his fingers brush yours, the joint really too long for that to be necessary, calluses on calluses setting your body aflame. you take a hit, trying to remember how to inhale correctly as itâs been a while since youâve smoked weed on a balcony with someone. not to mention, your captain. âbig inhale, lieutenant. not just a mouth breath.â you hum as you exhale, satisfied youâre able to follow his instructions. âgood girl.â he is too, apparently. you shake off any underlying message.
âcanât believe my captain smokes weed.â he takes the joint back wordlessly, fingers brushing yours again. ârarely. jusâ for nightmare occasions. never on a mission.â funny, since you're both waiting for exfil the next morning. a bit closer to a mission than you imagined he usually did. âtechnically, weâre still on a mission.â you were on your third hit now, time going fast when it was just you and john on this lonely balcony. ânecessary exception. canât have my best lieutenant runninâ on an empty tank.â
you bit back a smile at his compliment. âi wonât tell ghost if you wonât.â john rewarded you with a chuckle, a deep belly laugh youâd only heard once or twice. so this is what he was like high - a man who allowed himself to have fun. you could work with that. âwonât matter. yâve got him wrapped âround your finger.â a jilted gasp escaped you as you refrained from stomping your feet. âno way! if anything itâs soap since ghost calls him johnny. i couldn't get away with half of the things soap does.â the joint was almost finished and you hadnât even realized. he offered you one last hit before putting it out on the railing. disappointment sank heavy in your stomach, a feeling that the moment was almost gone.
your captain turned to you, a string pulling you closer until you were standing under him. his eyes were red, smile lines fresh. âyou look good. sorry, relaxed. i see why you smoke now.â you murmured. his hand reached out into the space between you, then dropped back down. weird for him of all people to make an uncertain move. âthink soap is to ghost what you are tâ me.â this had to be a cruel trick the universe was playing on you. âyou mean youâre wrapped around my finger?â he nodded slow, the weed sinking its claws into him. âyouâre just high, captain.â he frowned unexpectedly. ââs john.â oh. oh. you nodded silently. the next steps were fuzzy, a dance youâd never learned.
âwhat was your nightmare about?â that was not what you thought he would ask. âum. the usual. the battlefield and dying andâŚyeah.â this time, his hand had a direction. it raised to your hairline, tracing the skin gently as his thumb led the way down to the curve of your ear. he felt that too, seemingly enamored with the softness of your earlobe before dropping his hand completely, like it never happened.
âyou said my name, before you woke up. screamed it, practically gave me a heart attack.â his eyes were questioning, burning into yours like an interrogation. âoh. yeah, it was, um. youwereinmydreamandyoudied.â you practically spit the last part out, turning your head to study the skyline instead of finding whatever was on his face. unexpectedly, the weed made you both talkative and shy, a combination you didnât expect. maybe it was sativa. âwhat happened before i died?â it was like he knew what happened, even though there was no way. right? you couldnât resist a sideways glance, tracking the open earnestness of his face. âyou wereâŚproposing.â the last word was a whisper. âwhich is crazy, obviously. just a stupid dream.â you cut in before he could open his mouth. there was that frown again, one he rarely directed towards you. before tonight, that was.
âlike this?â there was a yearning in his voice and when you blinked, he was on one knee. somber, not smiling like in your dream. he was realer, a wrinkle here and a gray hair there. your feet took you closer until his view was your thighs. thatâs when you remembered youâd gone to bed in only a t-shirt and underwear, not having packed for an extra night in a motel. the triangle of your panties peeked out from your shirt and embarrassment creeped up your skin.
âiâm sorry, this is inappropriate. i shouldnât be dressed like this, i'm sorry, captain.â his gaze hadnât moved. âjohn.â a low exhale escaped him, like you saying his name had lifted a weight from him. unlikely, but a nice visual.
ââve never heard you say my name.â he was still on his knees, but he moved his head until he made eye contact. âguess i never had a reason.â he tilted his head to the side. âwhatâs your reason now?â you were scrambling off the edge of something you couldnât see. you didnât know this game you were playing. âyou- you told me to.â he nodded, raising back to his full height off his knee. for some reason, you were disappointed. âyouâd do anything i ask you?â it was the weed, surely, that made you nod vigorously. âget on the bed, then.â
you got on the bed. could feel him vibrating behind you as you walked towards it. turning, you sat on the very edge, legs tightly pressed together. âyouâre high.â he shook his head. âbarely. beinâ high doesnât make me lie, sweetheart. quite the opposite, in fact.â you had no mental energy to get into the word sweetheart. it had already warmed your belly and turned you inside out.
âiâm high.â he said nothing. âbarely.â you added with a whisper. âout of excuses yet?â you spread your legs instead of answering, letting him step in between them. he bent down slowly, turning your chin to him like you were something precious, something to take his time with. the kiss was slow, both of you tasting bitter because of the weed, and it was magical. you wrapped your legs behind him until he got the message, pushing you down. he grinded into you, hard and wanting.
âiâd propose to you now, yâknow. jusâ donât carry the ring with me on missions.â it took a second for the message to get through, especially since his lips moved to your neck, biting and sucking. âthereâs a, fuck john, thereâs a ring?â he was leaving hickies, surely. the weed had turned him into a teenager, and you giggled at the thought. he misinterpreted your laugh, pulling back until his eyes met yours.
âyou got a problem with a ring?â you whined at the loss of him on you. âno. no. câmere.â he leaned down for a kiss and you flipped the both of you over, straddling him with ease. his hands landed on your ass, pushing you closer until you could feel his hardness. he was such a possessive kisser, biting you when you drew back for a millisecond. his scruff scratched you pleasantly and you hummed like a cat in the sun. his neck felt so delicious under your fingers and you decided to explore it, small kisses and kitten licks until he was growling.
âyou wet fâ me, baby?â his tone unlocked a memory. âyou called me baby earlier. when i was sleeping.â john didnât give you an answer, staring at you expressionless. âand?â it sent you sputtering. âyou canât call women baby when theyâre asleep.â there was that frown again. ââm not callinâ women baby. âm callinâ you baby. because youâre mine. got a problem with that?â you shut him up with a kiss. he was infuriating.
the wetness between your thighs was concerning. your hips were grinding of their own accord, the feeling of his clothed cock between your folds addicting. the weed supplied you with confidence, fingers reaching down to move your panties to the side. he let out a groan at the feel of your bare cunt against his boxers, soaking them through.
ânot fuckinâ you like this, baby. not here.â you nodded against his skin, tongue darting out to lick at the beads of sweat that hard formed. âstill want to come, though.â if weed made him laugh like this, you were determined to get him high every day. his hands tightened on your hips, pulling you harder and faster against him. the angle was perfect, the contours of his body catching your clit with every grind. his eyes were open, tracking your every movement.
âjohn,â and he understood you completely, catching your mouth with his lips again. he tasted like yours. pressure coiled in your stomach at the thought. john was yours. âcaptain,â you groaned against his lips, reveling in the strained sound he let out. âgonna make me come before you do, sweetheart.â his mouth left yours, instead biting your breast over your shirt. it was too much: the sweat, the grinding, the bites he delivered with vigor. he pushed you down harder, the motion brushing your clit and sending you over the edge.
âfuck, baby.â it sounded like you both said it at the feeling of his cock leaking cum beneath his boxers, the fabric soaked both ways. time stopped as you both looked down, taking a second to take in the sight. it was absolutely carnal, the grinding without fucking. a claiming.
ââm tired.â you whispered. neither of you had a change of clothes so you both stripped them off, reveling in the sight of your naked bodies together. he pulled you into him, tucking you under his chin as you wrapped yourself in his body heat. so strong, so capable. your hands traced his chest, tangling in his body hair, until sleep overtook you. finally, a nightmare-free sleep.
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i have no idea what made me write this since i haven't smoked in like over a year. if my depictions of being high are inaccurate, welp. also yes i headcanon price as a smoker but very occasionally just when he's stressed
#tw: weed#price is right#price call of duty#captain john price#john price x female reader#john price#tornadothoughts#captain price#john price x reader#captain price x reader#price x reader#john price x f!reader#john price x y/n#john price x you#price x y/n#price x you#price cod#please dishonor me captain#captain johnathan price
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For all the Obi/Jango and Obi/Cody I put on this blog??? Yeah Obi-Wan and Quinlan have been Jedi married since they were 9-10 and found a book on how Jedi ceremonies work and had a Jedi handfasting ceremony with Bant as the officiant and their friends all there telling them theyâre gonna get in trouble.
Anyways. Baby soulmates. They might have a couple kids together. But I donât care if they stay together they just have decided their souls will be entwined for all eternity in the ether. Sometimes Quinlan blows Obi-Wanâs back out. Sometimes Quinlan watches someone else do it. We all have our kinks. Theirs is being jerks and no one will ever understand them as much as each other.
Obi-Wan puts salt in Quinlanâs caff and Quinlan never expects it. Quinlan tells all Obiâs boyfriends embarrassing stories. Itâs rude.
So basically. They are The Ship. Itâs just that any other romance in the fic happens to be side pairing to them being horribly codependent. I donât care if Quinlan interrupts Obi-Wanâs date with Jango to complain about his relationship issues with *insert anyone here* Jango will just have to accept that Obi doesnât even want to leave to go comfort Quin, but he WILL invite Quin to come over and cuddle BOTH of them (Jango is. Baffled. Is this a threesome??? Is he about to have a threesome??? Maybe he can hand Quinlan to Myles they might either fuck or fight to the death itâs okay him and Obi can watch. Like a movie) and Jango just. Accepts that.
People who date Obi just accept that he has two barnacles in the form of a very annoying Kiffar prince and what might be the Messiah of the outer rim???? Theyâre not quite sure about the growling blonde, but heâs sure adorable. Jango watched him kill a man with the power of his brain that one time. He wants to keep him. And study him.
Obi just. Comes with category 5 clingers.
#star wars#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#quinlan#quinobi#jangobi#jango fett#aayla is annoying and likes to cling sometimes like a bratty kitten#but sheâs also a very independent girl when sheâs not demanding masterâs cuddles and kisses
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Relationship Quirks 97s ver.
Aka habits I can see the boys doing in a relationship || 95s || 96s || 97s || Maknae line ||
The8 Wears your favorite color
Now this one is truly an unconscious thing that Hao does. You mention your favorite color one day during a random conversation and he doesn't do much with it... until the color starts becoming more eye-catching.
Suddenly more and more of his wardrobe is taken over by your favorite color; Not in a way that cramps his personal style but in a way that adds to it, of course. And even when he isn't wearing clothing that's your favorite color then his nails will definitely have sort of accent in or completely be (insert fav color here).
It's funny because he vehemently refuses to believe that's what's happening. If anyone, especially you, brings up how often he wears that color then he will scoff; Something about "no one being able to shake his personal preferences" or something like that.
"Been liking purple a lot lately, huh?" "No, I haven't." "But your nails are purple, your beanie is purple, and your cardi-" "Maybe, It just fits with my current style???" *Rolls his eyes and then buys a belt he's been "eyeing for ages"... just so happens to be purple*
DK Brings you up in every conversation
This sweet summer child~! (He's older than me) You would never in the world have to be jealous when with this man. Because chances are if he's talking to someone and it looks like anything interesting is happening AT ALL he's probably talking about you. Honestly, his dedication to talking about you might make people think he's obsessed (...he is) Maybe people would be even more interested in him because of that though... Call me crazy but dedication is sexy!
Either way, you're the only person in his sight and he swears it up and down. Doesn't leave any room for doubt either! The boys and your mutual friends are constantly telling you how appalled they are at how sweetly Kyeom talks about you when you aren't there. You're at the forefront of most of his conversation when you're with him, you can't imagine it being worse when you aren't around, but apparently, you are DEAD WRONG.
Seeing a pair of shoes can turn into a rant about what pairs of shoes you like. Ice cream flavors remind him of the time that you got ice cream for him when he was feeling sad and he just has to tell the guys about it. A talk with his manager about his recent health suddenly takes a turn and now he's sobbing talking about how much you take care of him. It's all you you you~
Mingyu Has to hold your hand
So we all know that Gyu is the biggest cuddler of all time, there's no doubt that he isn't clinging to your side when you're around. But hand-holding is different, Gyu can stand to not be hugging you 24/7... as long as you're holding his hand.
Claims that it feels like he's missing a piece of himself when he lets go, and also claims that you practically disappear if you aren't holding his hand, endless sulking. (Dramatic ass) And why can I vividly see him holding YOUR hand while clinging to the members??? Like he'll be swaying your arms back and forth while LITERALLY HOLDING WONWOO BY THE WAIST & BACKHUGGING HIM!!! Then has the audacity to be offended when you let go.
Also, has to hold your hand to sleep. He would love to cuddle! And he often does!... For like 10mins before this human space-heater gets too sweaty and has to move to the opposite side of the bed. Holding your hand in his sleep is a good compromise though, of course until you're letting go to use the restroom. (Deffo the type to follow you to pee, sits on the sink too)
A/N: I ain't even gonna lie... all of these headcanons could have been turned into full fics. I went insane imagining these habits, the 97s have been killing it in terms of looks and popularity lately. On a real note though, FUCK PLEDIS! PROTECT THE BOYS! Still so fucking pissed about what they let happen to Mingyu and TWS. Calming down... Comments and Reblogs are like super fuel for my writing and are much-appreciated lovelies!
TAGLIST (open): @bemybabiibish @bath1lda
#juniperdugong#juniperdugong fic#seventeen#seventeen fluff#svt#svt fanfic#svt x reader#seventeen mingyu#seventeen memes#seventeen fic#seventeen scenarios#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#svt fic#svt scenarios#svt fluff#svt imagines#seventeen headcanons#svt headcanons#the8#the8 seventeen#the8 fluff#minghao#xu minghao#minghao fluff#kim mingyu#mingyu seventeen#mingyu#mingyu x reader#mingyu fluff
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"Jotaro Kujo is Weak at His Core"

As a writer and avid character psycho-analyzer, I find this concept fascinating because I wholeheartedly agree with what OP has quoted from a "What opinion would get the community to do this? *Insert Johnny getting torn apart*" post.
Before I begin, I know some people will see this, misread it, and immediately say "lmao did we watch the same show? He's strong, badass, and can kick anyone's ass. Like do you know Star Platinum bro?". Trust me, I've seen the replies to this post and they said this same exact thing.
And I'm here to say that to said people, if you truly are not the illiterates I'd like to term you as, you'd take the time to realize that when we say "he's weak", we're not referring to his physical prowess because we know he's one of the strongest characters in the show.
If you don't like to, then you're just proving the accuracy of the last sentence: "You can't stand seeing your edgy badass image of Jotaro as vulnerable."
Pushing that aside, I'd like to expand on OP's opinion/headcanon with some depth to it and explain how exactly he's "weak" outside of being a skilled and strategic fighter.
I've learned that to be holistically healthy, one needs to develop and maintain all optimal functions of oneself: Physical, Emotional, Social, and Mental.
Obviously, Jotaro excels in the physical category. He's conventionally attractive, taller than the average male population, well-defined with a muscled build, fit as hell, street and book smart, and highly in tune with his environment making him adaptable in any circumstance.
He's "strong" in that aspect we all know at a superficial level.
However, we start to see the core problem once we strip this good-hearted man of his physical appeal:
Emotional? He believes he doesn't need to express them to others because why should he. He refuses to process them and instead keeps them behind a locked wall of stoicism and aloofness.
Social? Can't communicate to save his life. He's reclusive and doesn't know how to socialize outside of work. Guarded and skeptical around others. Too much of a workaholic to bother making new acquaintances (if he even knows how) outside of familial connections.
Mental? At 17, he went on a death crusade over Asia and the Middle East, almost died numerous times, and most likely lived with unresolved PTSD that carried over into adulthood, and further deteriorated his already poor social and emotional skills.
What do we have then? If we look past that powerful exterior of a man, we have inappropriate emotional expression, poor socialization, and constant fatigue of dealing with bullshit that relates to his trauma.
And this is what we mean by his "core": His mindset. His inner machinations. The soft spot his enemies would need to target in order to defeat or kill him, strategy-wise.
I. Emotional
We pretty much already know how this man handles emotions. And this may come off as "irrelevant" to the dudebros and the meme riders who believe "haha feelings are for pussies, I advocate for edgy autistic Florida man who don't give a fuck, elopes with dolphins, and berates women".
But believe it or not, he has them, just like any other human being on the planet. I said it once and I'll say it again: Not everyone will wear their heart on their sleeves. Some will convey emotions publicly with no issue, while others would prefer to keep to themselves.
But how does this contribute to him being "weak" at his core?
Essentially, it's similar to how someone with depression may behave (not everyone, some of them). One may appear friendly, sunny, and bubbly to everyone around them, not knowing they're actually suffering from a void that eats them up from the inside when alone.
For his case, it may look like he doesn't care about what happens to him and everyone around him, considering his nonchalant and aloof behavior, but beneath that cold exterior, he cares way too much for his family, friends, and allies. He feels too much to the point where once his allies are endangered, he would sacrifice his well-being without a second thought.
And that's an issue to him.
To him, emotions make him vulnerable and in his circumstance where enemies are actively hunting him down trying to find his weak spots, his emotions should be kept behind doors because he doesn't know how to regulate it on the outside so it's either total stoicism or lashing out.
I found someone saying this line about him that fits him so well: "He's a good person who doesn't know how to be a good person."
This is a man who means well and truly wants to help out of the goodness of his heart, but because of his inability to convey his emotions properly and is unable to pick up emotional cues, it can lead to shit tons of misunderstandings due to inappropriate tone & expression, and that can change how someone views him in the long run, thus leading to unintended deterioration of personal relationships (which contribute to the social aspect of his weakness).
I found a visual representation of what I just said above. Just to give context: The show is about a married couple who struggles to keep their relationship afloat, having to navigate through family politics, work & life balance, and miscommunications so they could find why they loved each other in the first place.
The emotionally-reserved character here with the poor communication skills is the girl. She's a CEO who just received a call, came out from work, and meets with her husband, asking him to accompany her to a doctor's appointment.
Observe how she thinks she views herself VS how others actually view her as.
Other's POV: Demanding, brash, and insensitive Her POV: Anxious, hesitant, and confused
Now remember what Araki had written about Jotaro? "He doesn't believe he must reveal his emotions to others because he thinks everyone can figure him out, leading him to be a victim of misunderstandings. Others think him to be cold-hearted, rebellious, and insensitive."
II. Social
With emotions as our base foundation to poor communication skills, this leads us to his weak socialization aspect.
In a recent quote reblog about how he was raised as a child may have contributed to his tough persona, I mentioned something about his need of "Security".
Growing up, it was mostly just him and his sweet pacifist mother Holly. Joseph couldn't have visited often (he hates Japan) and his dad is a busy musician with a packed schedule on tour. As a kid up to early adolescence, he was coddled by his mother and raised as a good student. Everything was going great for him.
[In popular headcanon] Once he passed puberty, the change to his Part 3 MC era began. People began picking fights with him and bullying him, and he began to see the world as a threat to his safety. Knowing his mother, he wouldn't rely on her to defend him against these dangers. She was too kind, too friendly, too loving for her to deal with the harsh life he now has to deal with.
So he had to be the stronger one for both of them. He already had the physical attributes for it, so why not use it to his advantage?
He got on the popular delinquent trend back in 80's Japan, integrated a couple of cool masculine-esque personalities as his own from his favorite Western and Crime media, and is then able to project this menacing aura everyone should be afraid of, to ward potential threats away from him and his mother.
But Mijin, how does this make him weak? What does this have to do with his need for security?
Think about it: The poor guy's already introverted, doesn't feel comfortable with his emotions that he can't express properly, and now he has to be skeptical with people around him because he realized how shitty society can be, which leads to intimidation that wards off not only potential foes but potential friends as well, making it look like he's anti-social.
On the outside, people are likely to think that he likes being this way when in reality, he seeks a reliable support system on which he can lean onto. Everyone with a sound mind wants that subconsciously because we are social creatures. It's part of our nature.
He's constantly fearful of his surroundings, growing even more vigilant as he ages, but he doesn't look afraid because he chooses to put on a brave face to challenge said fears instead of acknowledging he's scared. I read somewhere in an ask that's not mine that in the manga, some panels actually depict Jotaro shaking/trembling in a mix of fear and adrenaline during some of his fights.
He wants to be around people who he can trust. People who he can lower his defenses with. People who are capable of protecting him just as he is capable of protecting them. People who can face his intimidating aura and challenge it to stand on equal grounds with him or to remind him of his place when he goes too far with certain things. Hence, why he seems comfortable being with the Crusaders.
For once, he wants to feel safe.
To not feel like he has to be this strong pillar of hope that everyone depends on.
To be someone being protected, instead of the other way around where he was always the strong protector. He wants a life of normalcy where he can just be a marine biologist and a professor with a loving family he can come home to.
But that can't happen. The inner circle of friends he counted on is either dead or far away, leaving him even more fearful of the world around him. This results in even more guarded skepticism, always watchful of who's an enemy Stand user and what their Stand could do. Because of his cautious nature, this leads to minimized socialization with others.
With little to no solid support system he can count on, he has no one he feels completely secure with because he believes danger will always come to hurt and/or kill those near him. He doesn't want to burden others with the issues & responsibilities of dealing with Stand users. He wants them to live the normal life he could no longer have.
He doesn't trust in the capabilities of his loved ones when it comes to defending themselves against the amount of potential threats and dangers he has faced, and yet he cares about them dearly. So, he commits to what seems to be the most practical solution in his mind: Self-Isolation.
To be a distant beacon where danger is attracted to and away from those dear to him.
(As we see in the beginning of Part 3 where he willingly locks himself in jail as soon as he sees himself as the threat, and in Part 6 where he stays away from his family once he realizes his enemies were targeting him).
"Your family is your weakness."
All this leads him to become what Araki always envisioned him to be: A lone hero.
III. Mental
Now onto the last part, this part of the essay will focus more on the popular headcanon the community has made about him: "Jotaro has PTSD."
Considering what he's been through at only 17, it would be no surprise that he'd acquired major trauma after those 50 days. Think about it- he gets injured more times than he can count, almost dies numerous times, sees his grandfather get "killed" in front of him, and all this combined with the constant reminder that his mother's life is also on a time limit. A failure to kill DIO meant a failure to save Holly.
The amount of pressure and risk he had to endure for her (and there will still be people who adamantly believe that he hated Holly because he said "bitch" to her twice in the first two episodes).
Now, remember when I said about him having this mentality of over-independence when dealing with stressors? It was still manageable during Stardust Crusaders, but because of what had transpired in Cairo, that mindset carries on to the rest of his adulthood, more so if we consider that he most likely didn't get any therapy or treatment for his trauma.
It might be normal for a teenager to hold onto this stubborn notion of "I can do this by myself" and be casual about it, but with trauma now involved, that notion warps into a persisting belief of "by doing this myself, no one else will get hurt" (i.e. refusing help, doing solo fieldwork, self-isolation).
But Mijin, you keep saying "mentality" this, "mindset" that. What are you talking about?
There's an old Tumblr post I found that talks specifically about this in great detail, but to put it shortly: Jotaro has always wanted to do things by himself because he believes that not only will the task be done with, there would be no one else involved with it, making it better for him to cope mentally if ever shit hits the fan (tying back to poor emotional expression and insecurity in bonds).
If any injuries were to be inflicted, he would be the one to receive them, and he alone, because who knows how he'll react and/or cope when his allies are harmed instead of him over and over again? (refer to the trauma of Jotaro surviving Cairo while the majority of the team that went with him died a.k.a "survivor's guilt")
(Also, refer to how he had exhibited great distress when Jolyne was about to be struck by a rain of knives that Pucci sent)
This might also be the reason why he's more self-sacrificial as an adult: Will be the bait during the rat episode instead of Josuke, takes the brunt of Sheer Heart Attack's explosion to spare Koichi, dives straight onto a path of bullets to save Jolyne, etc.
The only possible solution so he could snap out of that belief he holds on to is that strong, reliable support system he internally needs. People who can help him without sustaining fatal injuries in the process [social]. People who he can approach to release any pent-up frustrations and inner conflicts [emotional].
If he had found those people, then he might have been able to deal and/or cope with his trauma better instead of letting it linger and change his outlook in life [mental].
But we all know how his life went in canon. One moment he's a kid playing ball with his mother, then in his last, he dies by having his head bisected by a time-altering Stand.
Jotaro is a person with a gold heart and a rough exterior. Someone who wants to help and protect his loved ones from the unpredictability of the world the best that he can. But even then, his best wasn't enough. His fear was masked with an air of strength and capability, perhaps as compensation for everything else he lacked:
Adequate processing of emotions.
Stable connection with familial, platonic, and romantic bonds.
A sound mindset that stems from effective coping for his PTSD.
We could only hope in headcanon land that he had a better chance at life in the Ireneverse where he finally could develop his inner core better and get that long-deserved break he had always wanted.
#can't you already tell I love this man?#not in a romantic yumeship sense but in a âlet me study you under the microscopeâ sense#mischaracterize my pookie and you'll hear me thundering through the streets#jojos bizarre adventure#jjba#jotaro kujo#mijin thoughts
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