#he is my fatherrrrrr

[ultra-raging-ghost]

Bad: yelling into the sky usually has the same results as writing letters to your local politicians which is nothing Pepito: AAAAAAAA (SCREAMS)I LOVE MY APA Bad: HE LOVES HIS FATHERRRRRR!!!!!!!

[whimsywillowwrites]

I just thought of mallory and alastor hell's greatest parent song.

Alastor:"looks like you you could use some help,from you big uncle al himself!

*Imogen,who CLEARLY does not want to even see him*

Alastor:"check out all my reviews on station .FIVE STARS FLAWLESS GREATER THAN GREAT"

*Nora Jean at the background* :"and he says him and vox are nothing alike 🙄"

Alastor:"with a punch of a pentagram,I wap bap boom alakazam. Moreover I don't charge a thing at all,so your soul is safe!(we all know this just a lie just so alastor and try to salvage his relationship with her)

Alastor to mallory:Who needs a useless mom while she got me?couldn't even protect her daughter!

Alastor to imogen:"I'll rig life for you because I am the best! Soda fountains,chocolate mountains,that's just to starttttttt!"

Mallory:*pulls imogen towards her and shoves a cross at alastor* "who's been here since day one,who's been faithful as a nun? The one who makes you chuckle when you're feeling down,that's right it's mee!"

*imogen smiles and nods*

Mallory:"I'm your pal your day to day,your one and and only mother. That takes care of your mental health?oh right,that's me!"

Mallory stares at alastor:"why would a sadist be a good father?why would she love you after what you did?she hates you now so why even bother?it's really obvious that you're a terrible fatherrrrrr"

*same music playing scene*

Alastor:"they say when you're looking for assistance,it's smart to pick the path of least resistance"

Mallory:"others say that in your needy hour,there no substitute for pure,MOTHERLY POWER(here,her hatred for alastor is so strong her plant powers come back)who just happens to also be your blood,and sadly there are times a step parent is a dud!they say the family you're born is better"

Alastor:"what a bunch of losers"

Mallory:"can you butt out of my song?"

Alastor:"your song I started this!"

Mallory:"I'm singing it I finish it!"

Alastor:"oh you tacky piece of sh-"

Nora Jean comes in to sing how shit alastor is at parenting

OMMMGGG you wrote the whole song!!! Incredible!!! Blessing of my life!! Thank you so much, this made my day! ;----;

[multidino]

VAV gif battle

Round 1: introduce your bias

[transmechanicus]

I am in utter despair, i am a ruin, a wreck, inconsolable. One billion blessings upon the name of alfabusa for this experience.

[fallenrepublick]

Feeling soft: Maul having breakfast with his little girl. Does he wake her up? Is he the one who wakes up to his little one announcing it’s time to wake up?

What would they prefer? And you bet this little girl is making sure they both eat everything from their plates! Starlight makes them the best food!

Have a lovely day/night!

Oh my gosh aW

After building his life with you, starting a family, his tendency to stay up late becomes more and more infrequent, replaced instead with the desire to stay asleep and prolong your time together as much as he possibly can. So she's the one who wakes him, climbing up onto his bed, yelling for dad to wake up, that he's so lazy for sleeping in this much. She crawls all over him until he stirs and grumbles, saying, "Yes, yes, little princess... I'm awake now," with slow words.

He drags his feet getting ready, although she pushes him around and tries to make him rush about it. The more she does, the slower he goes, earning more, "Fatherrrrrr!!! Pleeeeeeaaaase!!"

And she pulls him to the breakfast room, ready to eat. Pancakes are her absolute favourite, and she piles on more than her little stomach can handle every time. Maul's made a habit of taking only one, as he finishes her leftovers when she's full. Her excitement causes essentially chaos, sticky handprints pressed onto the surface of the table, butter somehow in her hair. Maul sighs at the cleaning that will have to be done... but her laugh makes it that much more worth it.

She sits proudly on her little booster seat, convinced by now that it's a throne, no doubt thanks to Maul's doting, and in a proper little voice, describes the best dream she's ever had, despite yesterday's dream being much the same. And she asks you two about your dreams, happily listening to your own description, while being curious as to why her father dodged the question.

When she's finished... she tries to run away. Quickly. It's only by Maul's reflexes that he catches her and wipes down her face and fingers with a wet towel, saying that he ought to change her title to the Princess of Messes. And after a few minutes of attempting her escape, he releases her to play, offering you a small kiss on your forehead before helping to clean the room.

[opossum-the-burr]

jail >:)

I kind of feel like I should give Alex's father more of an ending in the book. like, in the original fic, he's just sort of cut out of the story when Alex slams that door on him, but maybe there should be more of a resolution?

[myidlethinkings]

So my girlfriend has been trying to have me read the Wheel of Time series since when she was just my best friend. I picked back up the second book recently but it's been a while since I read the first and she went on this massive "YOU WON'T REMEMBER EVERYTHING FROM THE FIRST BOOK, LET ME TELL YOU"

This led to her Wheel of Time in 5 Minutes ™ lecture/rant and... I had to share this with the world. Enjoy.

Obviously every spoiler for the first book. You've been warned.

_______

k, eye of the world in 5 mins.

begins in the two rivers, emonds field, is gonna be bel tine and everyones all excited. rand lives further afield with his father and theyre bringing in brandy for the inn. rands all omg someones watching me as theyre getting in, tams all i cant see anything, rands all mustv imagined it. they get there. they hear theres going to be a gleeman. meets up with his bestie perrin and LOVER mat I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP who are both like yeah we totes saw the figure too. they go we'll tell the mayor tomorrow.

they see the gleeman thom and theyre all omg a gleeman, omg. then the two strangers, moiraine, who is the best character ever to character in any universe fucking fight me on that and lan, who are asking questions about the area and people and moiraines like oh hi child to nynaeve the wisdom whose like im the fucking wisdom bitch who the fuck are you. she then says to the boys hey here have this coin which is totally a normal coin cuz i might have errands and shit and theyre like holy shit anything you want.

then he sees egwene and hes all like omg the love of my life will you dance with me tomorrow at bel tine and shes all yeah sure in the afternoon cuz i got shit to do in the morning and hes all like wut? and shes all GETTIN MAH HAIR BRAIDED YO and hes all like holy shit that means shes marriagable, holy shit man.

then the peddler paidan fain rocks up and gets everyone in a frenzy over war wherever and false dragons and logain or whoever else.

rand and tam go back to the farm overnight before the festivities begin. shit goes down. trollocs smash in, rands all OMG TROLLOCS ARENT REAL THO LIKE WUT and tams all, fly you fool and rand runs into the woods. but then hes all, i cant fucken leave my father so he creeps back and in the shadows he sees tam creeping around with a sword and rands like DAFUQ why does he have a sword, fighting ensues, tam gets hurt, is dying, rand manages to get him back to emonds field with a figure trailing them.

tams delirious, starts talking about rands dead mother and then starts talking about a battle and how they all poured over the dragonwall and that it was snowing but it was so hot, battle is always hot and she was a warrior even though she was pregnant and she gave birth and died and how he took the baby and rand was all WUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. im gonna ignore that shit.

gets to emonds field. everything is in ruins. trollocs wrecked the shit there too. nynaeve is all like sorry dude, your dads gonna die. hes all fuck that, gets back to the inn where the gleemans like hey that ladys an aes sedai, she could heal him but i totally wouldnt because you never know what they ask for in price and rands all i dont care because HE IS MY FATHER. MY FATHER. HEEEEE. ISSSS. MYYYY. FATHERRRRR. thoms all, holy shit dude calm down hes your father. moiraine, the best character in the universe, heals tam, then shes all like look, you three boys need to come with me and rands all, well shit she makes sense and they go but then egwenes hiding too and shes all bitch im adventuring too and rands all AHHHH and moiraines all huh the wheel weaves what the wheel wills, whatevs, and they go on, with thom whose also like this place is boring asf, im coming on.

they head out, dragkhar fly overhead, moiraine like a mofo destroys them, they get to tarren ferry, cross on the ferry, then coincidentally theres a whirlpool and the ferrys destroyed when theyre on the other side and egwenes like HOLY SHIT YOU DID THAT and moiraines all cuz im fucking awesome and nobody can follow us now so stfu and they head on.

rand interrupts a lesson with moiraine teaching egwene the true source cuz egwenes got it. rands all FUCKING WTF and thoms all dude, leave it, you cant do a thing about it. Shes gone now. Why don’t you bang mat instead. I mean the mat comment never happened but I will ship them till my dying breath. moiraines all to egwene youll die if i dont teach you, there was another back in emonds who also had it but she managed to survive/channel in her own way.

egwene starts to unbraid her hair. rand has a crying fit. egwenes all fuck off man, i do what i want. mydraal and shit attack them, they get to baerlon safely. where the gatekeepers like the children of the light are around but they cant cause much trouble cuz the city watch hate them and the whitecloaks are little bitches. they get to baerlon. mat and rand walk around. they see a few of the whitecloaks, dane bornhold a young man leading the small group. mats like lol, watch this, enters a shop, climbs up the top and hurls a rock at them, loosening barels. rand has started to feel feverish and when the barrels nearly knock them over, rand stands there and doesnt hide and rands like lol and danes like dafuq are you looking at and rands like im looking at you what are YOU looking at and hes feeling really odd and reckless and danes like are you a darkfriend and steps forward but then the city guards turn up who hates the whitecloaks and they face each other off and mat hauls rand off all are you fucking insane, you faced him off and rands recklessness leaves him and he freaks out and they flee.

throughout this time and through the book all three have dreams but i cant be bothered to get into those, theyre basically all the dark one figuring out who is who, and they wake up after rats backs were broken in the dream to be all oh hey it was just dreams though, to find rats dead all over the place and other stuff. Moiraine told them early on to go to her if they have dreams and the boys talk about it and theyre like we should probably tell her but nah, she saes sedai and like, its just dreams yo, yeah a few rats end up dead but cool, its fine, we’re fine.

oh baerlons also where he meets min who can see things around them, like with him a sword that is not a sword and three women on his funeral pyre weeping and with perrin she sees wolves and mat dice and with lan seven broken towers and a baby in a cradle with a sword and blah blah. And she says she can see he loves egwene and egwene loves him too but theyre not for each other, at least not in the way they want to be.

then he returns and nynaeve is there and she is PISSED and is all like we're going home now and moiraine manages to convince her they are in trouble and nynaeves like ..... i dont trust you, but fine. and lans all how did you find us and shes all i tracked you bitches and hes all like, huh.

rand says to her later about MY FATHER HE IS MY FATHERRRR and nynaeves all awkwardly like er yeah totally, i totally dont remember when your father returned after adventuring with an outlander wife, that totally explains your red hair, er yea sure. but that above all they loved him as much as they wouldv loved any baby.

oh a bunch of times during the book people startle at him and him being so tall with red hair and grey eyes and say he resembles an aiel. oh, theyre also ta'veren, so extra special they draw people into doing stuff with their lives, they effect the pattern. moiraine also says the two rivers used to be manetheran, a fabled kingdom. that night shit happens and they run off. they run, fight, attack, fight, as they battle mat starts yelling out things in an old language he doesnt know, that moiraine says was a manetheran war cry and the old blood still sings.

theyre going to get outrun in battle and against moiraines judgement lan takes them to an old crumbling city shadar logoth which fell to the darkness and even trollocs and mydraal dont like entering it.

oh also tam gave rand the sword which is a heron marked blade and lans all like er only blademasters have these why did your father have one and rands all HES MAHHH FATHERRRRRR and lans all yeah but how and rands all he bought it from a merchant years before and lans all yeah that sounds totally legit.

they go into shadar logoth, the boys sneak off, meet mordeth whose all like lol here take the treasure and mats like cool but rands like holy shit he doesnt have a shadow and then mordeth goes all rahhhh and the three manage to escape and they return and ramble about what happened and moiraines like DID HE GIVE YOU ANYTHING and theyre all like no and mats like er totally didnt and moiraines like we have to move and they leave but then this shadow thing that can kill them separates them and theyre all separated and perrin and egwene fall into a river together, and nynaeve finds moiraine and lan and is all like I will cut you aes sedai for what you’ve done to all of us and moiraine is all lol, and rand and mat with thom end up on a ship, the spray, with bayle domon and theyre worried he’ll throw them overboard cuz of the trollocs that chased them but domon seems to think theyre after him.

moiraines like with the coins i can track them, but two of them have lost their coins (paying for passage on domons ship). perrin and egwene roam around a lot, finally meet up with a man elyas who can communicate with wolves. aes sedai once tried to gentle him because of it but it has nothing to do with the one power so it didnt do anything. theres hints he used to be a warder, but now he hangs out in the wilderness. he says perrin has the same thing, perrin freaks out. elyas is like ill take you to the next city cuz you guys are lost. they then meet up with the tuatha'an, the tinkers, who roam around and dont harm anyone even if theyre to be harmed. perrin cant reconcile that, hes all how can you defeat evil by that, but in turn they pity him as hes such a young, sad, violent man with his axe. his eyes start turning gold like elyas' and he starts to communicate with wolves like hopper and a bunch of them though he tries to deny it.

egwene dances with aram, one of the tinkers and perrins all wow what about rand and they eventually leave, though aram is restless for a tinker.

the leader asks elyas if hes found the song which is their formalities, elyas is all no we havent. the leader then tells him of a story he heard, of an aiel who crossed the waste and died, to tell them that leafblighter means to blind the eye of the world. then she died. they leave and then they then meet afoul of the whitecloaks who are fighting whatever and bornhold - danes father – and byar catches them. through the ordeal perrin kills two of the whitecloaks while hes being all half wolf in the battle and they take them in to be questioned.

nynaeve and moiraine/lan end up finding them, releasing them, the wolves assist, nynaeve gets left behind, lans all about to get her, moiraine reminds him of his oaths, nynaeve turns back up.

meanwhile rand/mat are at whitebridge and mats starting to get sick and suspicious. he had a dagger from shadar logoth. a mydraal finds them, thom hurtles his flute and harp at them, says to go, to leave. hes saving them because he once had a nephew who could channel and the red ajah gentled him, while thom was having an affair with the queen morgase of andor when he was a court bard and by the time he got to owen it was too late and hed not survived, which he always regretted and then because he left morgase the way he did she was pissed at him too. rand and mat run for it, rand sobbing that thom is dead.

they go from village to village to village, mat getting sicker and sicker, a young woman who ends up being a darkfriend tries to kill them, they escape. rand keeps thinking he sees padan fain the peddlar from home, whose actually a darkfriend.

moiraine tells nynaeve she has the power too, nynaeve has a mini breakdown. moiraine said it would have begun with a doing something she desperately needed then a few days later collapsing really ill and the illness disappearing quickly. nynaeve once said egwene had gotten sick as a child and shed healed her not knowing how, then gotten sick. moiraine says thats also how she found them to begin with, in the city, she could sense egwene.

rand and mat go to a poor inn, they try to rob them by locking them in the back. mats getting sick and even more paranoid. rand is terrified when he realises theyre going to sell them to a darkfriend and he prowls and prowls till the room theyre in explodes, the wall crumbling. rand doesnt know how but he thinks he did it himself. mat becomes blinded from it and starts sobbing.

they escape. on the run again. as mat is blind, rand takes care of him and mat in his illness is worried that rand will abandon him which rand would never do because mat is the LOVE OF HIS LIFE, rand ends up really sick, paralleling what moiraine said what happened to nynaeve.

they end up hitching a ride to caemlyn where they expect moiraine to find them, if shes still alive. the buggy driver talks about the queen. how elayne is the daughter heir and her brother is the first prince of the sword. its been tradition forever that the daughter heirs go to tar valon to train and the princes go be taught by warders. he mentioned tigraine who was the queen before morgaise, who disappeared mysteriously nearly twenty years ago, who left behind a son galad. morgaise married the husband and became queen and while she had elayne and gawyn, galad lives with them too, now the husband is dead. oh, also logain the false dragon is being presented to the queen as prisoner before the aes sedai take him to tar valon to gentle him.

they get to caemlyn, mats REALLY sick. rand leaves him at an inn, tries to go see the false dragon being brought in. he meets loial an ogier whose nice, whose like 90 but really young for an ogier to have left his stedding without permission. rand ends up thinking he sees paidan, but doesnt have a good feeling, tries to run off, falls into a castle garden. meets elayne the daughter heir who might actually be the most annoying character to exist, her brother gawyn. theyre like omg you look like an aiel. elayne then talks about gareth bryne the guard captain dude she ships hard with her mother. galad MY MOST PURE CHARACTER WHO I LOVE FUCK ELAYNE (not a spoiler, his name is of the most pure camelot round table knight) rocks up, is all, holy you broke into the palace. elayne whose a bitch is like how DARE YOU YOURE NOT MY BROTHERRRR and galads all we are siblings and my duty is to protect you and shes all you wont do anything with this rand ill invoke protection, then galad goes and tells the guards because theres literally a false dragon being brought in and tension is on the rise in caemlyn and hes taken to see morgase.

the red ajah elaida is freaked out by him, knows hes taveren, has a bit of a prophecy but it doesnt really mean much and morgaise is all look, we cant just arrest everyone, let him go.

he then races back to the inn, moiraine and everyones there, they all hug, then hes all like oh yeah mats sick btw. moiraine goes up and mats not just sick hes now tainted. she does the best she can but is all like he needs to get to tar valon to have the bond between him and the dagger properly severed. then moiraine meets loial who randomly talks about an event concerning the eye of the world. perrins all oh yeah thats like the dead aiel girl the tinkers spoke about. that changes the plans once moiraine realises the dark ones trying to get to the eye and shes like we cant get to tar valon yet we gotta leave now. they use the ways which loail knows how to use cuz ogier and male aes sedai made them together centuries before but now the ways are tainted.

theyre like the worlds between the worlds, can get to places quicker but it has the black wind thatll kill you. blah blah blah they use the ways, nearly die, but get to fal dara/shienar, which is sort of where lan is from. nynaeve confesses her love, lans all no i cannot, i cannot offer anything. it ends up that his parents had the throne but his ... there was scheming. His uncles wife wrecked everything, she escaped with her baby into the blight, lans cousin, nobodys seen or heard of them, moiraine suspects isam might be alive but GASP keeps it from lan. the seven towers crumbled, lan has a death wish, he believes hes the only one left so must die.

lord agelmar wishes lan would rise up the banner of the golden crane because everything about the blight is crumbling, lans like no, i have a new oath now with moiraine. lord ingtar is a fight me soldier who fanboys after lan. theres a battle going on in tarwins gap they desperately need help for, but lan says he cant. lord agelmar orders ingtar to accompany them to the blight and leave them cuz moiraines like we cant have anyone else come with us.

Paidan fain by this point has rocked up to shienar and tried to wheedle his way into the good graces of lord agelmar but hes all wtf you look like a creeper and throws him in a cell. Moiraines like I need to question him at some point.

moiraine then takes them into the blight to find the green man who can take them to the eye of the world. the green man rocks up, hes made of vines and flowers, takes them to the eye. two forsaken rock up. moiraine tries to fight, is knocked out, nynaeve and lan get knocked out, the boys run. the green man is destroyed by the forsaken. rand ends up destroying the forsaken, goes into the eye, channels the male source in there, realises he can channel, has a fight with the dark one - whose still bound under the seals, but rand believes he ended the dark one and its done. comes out, the others are recovering. brings out an old banner from the eye thats the dragons banner, broken seals from the dark ones prison, and the horn of valere. moiraine is all, we need to take these to tar valon. rands all, you do that, but im done with aes sedai, im not going to tar valon. im done. the dark ones dead and im going to do my own thing. he turns to egwene who backs away from him when he said he channeled, then she bursts into tears and hugs him and says shes sorry.

they return to shienar, fal dara, where there was a miracle in tarwins gap where they believed they saw the creator and that the light took on flesh - they saw an apparition of a man they didnt know as rand fighting the battle he fought. ingtars flipping his shit because he missed the battle while accompanying them, and then not even being able to accompany them the entire way. After all of his talking about going after a week rand is still there, finishing his sword practice with Lan in Agelmar's private garden and meets up with Egwene. He tells her that he will go away. Egwene asks him to come to Tar Valon with her and Nynaeve, itll totes be fun, I mean theres the red ajah and shit wholl attack him if they know but hey itll be fun, but Rand refuses. He says he'll never channel again. When she asks him if he'll be going home, he tells her that he'll never go home.

Moiraine is underneath Agelmar's private garden. She uses her blue teardrop thing she wears on her forehead to focus her eavesdropping on Rand and Egwene. Using it to eavesdrop was the first use of the One Power she had learned as a young girl in the royal palaces of Cairhieren.

Smiling, she says, "The Prophecies will be fulfilled. The Dragon is Reborn."

the end.

[anodyne-sunflower]

Oh! A KYD where Daddy's child ask them when they first fell in love or knew that they loved their mother (reader)? Thanks!:)

Cuteeeeee, what’s with y'all and children though? Lol

So the child: “When did you fall in love with mommy?”

Newt-He’d be caught off guard, eyebrow raised but then he’d chuckle and smile at the question. “I suppose that’s quite a long story.” And after being pestered he’d relent. “Well, you see, the niffler stole your mother’s purse and um, suppose one thing led to another.”

Stephen-“You’re a bit young to wonder such things.” He’d kiss their forehead and tell them to run along and play as he works on his woodworking. But, they’d still sit and ask until he gave in. “Your mother saved me…” “From what?” And he’d pause, thinking deeply on it. “From war.”

Marius-“Ah, your mother was the first woman I ever loved.” And his kid would be excitedly sitting in his lap, waiting to here more. And Marius realized they want the details and he just finds it adorable. “All she had to do was look at me, and I fell in love with her.”

Jack-He’s out at the lake, fishing, and his son is running around all crazy and randomly asking questions until that one comes up. “Now why would you ask a question like that?” And his son is just splashing into the lake. “Enough, enough…” Jack would laugh. “Alright, your mother-” and he’d kneel down to their level. “Your mother was the first person who found beauty in my work.”

Eddie-He’s smoking on the porch. “Go ask your mother.” “But, how would she know when you first fell in love with her?!” They’d ask with a pout, and Eddie just rolls his eyes and smiles. “Because, I told her, you genius.”

Balem-He’s busy walking down the hall and reading the quarterly profits. His kid is pulling on his cape and being dragged along. “I’ve told you to cease your annoyance, boy. Off you go.” “But, fatherrrrrr! Please tell me.” And Balem would sigh, suddenly stopping his brisk pace and his kid hits his legs. “That’s not for you to know, child. Now go.”

[thelioninmybed]

Orcling replies

brazenbells replied to your post “Orcling!Gil will be the end of me HE'S SO CUTE”

This keeps getting more beautiful

- Fingon, re. his precious, handsome orc son

imindhowwelayinjune replied to your post “Orcling!Gil will be the end of me HE'S SO CUTE”

On the one hand I'm all 'oh, bless these poor sweet sleep deprived parents and their sleep deprived worries' and then I burst into tears on wabbit's neck because /those are legitimate concerns/

well. they...they never lost Gil due to excessive smallness? (except that one time, but that wasn’t their fault)

curufins-smile replied to your post “mmarycontrary replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It...”

I'm dying at the tags, maedhros mowing down orcs screaming "Where! Is! My! Silmaril!" because it's 6 o clock is the best image I've ever had

I mean, he’ll do it any time of the day tbh but the timing does add that extra edge of hysterical fury, it’s a good look. 

curufins-smile replied to your post “valaraukars replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It...”

this whole chain is the cutest thing omg <3

- Fingon, re. his son’s mail onesie

berrysphase replied to your post “mmarycontrary replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It...”

(1) this is GENIUS (2) is that last line deliberately setting up Doriath because if so damn you

NO HE’S JUST READING A STORY TO HIS SON D:

vardasvapors replied to your post “valaraukars replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It...”

GUYS YOU'RE K I L L I N G MEEEEE

his claws were long his fangs were keen his shining eyes afar were seen

ok but, as a Noldo, you know he’d like, get his talons lacquered with beautiful silver designs, he looks majestic. 

imindhowwelayinjune replied to your post “valaraukars replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It...”

take it Away before i spill emotions all over the Floor

‘I told you not to jiggle him like that,” Maedhros said, going for the mop. 

imindhowwelayinjune replied to your post “mmarycontrary replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It...”

The most precious spiderling ;_; (he called Mae his fatherrrrrr I am dyingggg)

In addition to his mail onesie, Gil has a cute little spider one w. extra legs. His fathers severely regret the idea once he starts crawling because the effect is horrifying. 

imindhowwelayinjune replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It was the movement that woke him...”

The true reason Gil's parentage is so disputed! Orc Gil-galad AU is my new favorite domestic dads au

Less fluffy than spiky

ft. Fingon and Maedhros trying to respect their son’s original culture by baking classics such as Maggoty Bread (’it’s.....high in protein!’ they tell each other) and baby talking in Black Speech. 

valaraukars replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It was the movement that woke him...”

'image to maintain' says the person who turned beheadings into a-class PDA, you big old romantic

Genuinely can’t tell if you’re going Doyalist or Watsonian and calling out me or Maedhros. ...that’s probably concerning. 

simaethae replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It was the movement that woke him...”

i especially like how Baby Orc goes on to become the longest-serving and in many ways most successful King of the Noldor

"not being a Noldo" being a big help on that front tbh

I was gonna make a joke about orcs having way better common sense and self preservation instincts than the Noldor but...that’s....not...actually a joke it’s just objective fact. 

erotetica replied to your post “simaethae replied to your post “It was the movement that woke him...”

i preemptively fucked myself up on the off chance you would go the route of 'he inherited them from mae, he's their mpreg baby'

You know how usually I like to write little fics playing along with humorous misinterpretations? Yeah i’m not doing this one. 

vardasvapors replied to your post “It was the movement that woke him rather than sound. A disturbance in...”

GUYS

also WERE EITHER OF THOSE FINAL SENTENCES REALLY THAT NECESSARY (yeah yeah ofc they were but u know what i mean...)

also lol wait did Mae meet grown-up Gil-galad face to face later...in between kinslayings...after the war of wrath...before a certain robbery...

I’m gonna say after the robbery, during the standoff before Eonwe let them go, there was an excruciatingly awkward role-reversed reenactment of the time Maedhros told Gil off for sneaking into the kitchen and stealing biscuits, doesn’t he know they’re bad for him, what if someone had gotten hurt? 

brazenbells replied to your post “It was the movement that woke him rather than sound. A disturbance in...”

Oh my God you monsters

no that’s their son.... ‘Ereinion is literally an orc’ does put an interesting retroactive spin on Mae’s reactions in this fic though. 

valaraukars replied to your post “It was the movement that woke him rather than sound. A disturbance in...”

ugh why do you guys insist on writing stuff that makes me feel genuine emotions, you KNOW it doesn't fit my brand

also: ereinion's reasoning irt what defines morning - totally reasonable imo (!ADORABLE!)

He is so smart and so precocious and his dads are so proud of him <3