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#he is also a fine old man tbh
running-in-the-dark · 5 months
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today would have been my dad's 76th birthday 😔
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deus-ex-mona · 7 months
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s. s ave me, meoto…
#n o t me clinging to meoto to retain my sanity bc g o o d l o r d today was the worst#today was truly a very bad; very horrible day indeeeeeeed#man. today truly was a comedic tragedy in every way possible. i’d laugh if i were anyone else tbh#first i couldn’t start my workstation bc we were out of this cleaning acid thing.#t h e n this other branch lab sent over a precise amount of [reagent] that we needed to make the cleaning acid thing#*and* what’s worse was that they also demanded like. 1/5 of the acid we mixed. like bro. make it yourself mans.#but the worst part was when i tried to use a dropper to poke this sediment out of [tube i was supposed to be cleaning]#bUT THEN HALF OF THE DROPPER MELTED BC THAT BUGGER CAN’T HANDLE HIGH TEMPERATURES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#stupid new droppers man. the old droppers could handle 100 degrees just fine. s o now the tube is clogged with melted plastic and it’s just.#life’s *really* great sometimes yk~~~~? (ʘ‿ʘ)#and so the night shift dude who came to take over the workstation against expectations seemed kinda pissed that i hadn’t started anything#and im just there. with my intestines wriggling about like internal abdominal worms. tryin not to cry in the face of my mistake.#while he’s fumin’ away like a freakin’ chimney or sth. like. man. no one asked you to take this workstation. you came here on your own. :(#anyway i ditched him and left for my break to calm myself down only to be approached by some random terribly lost middle aged to old lady#who was looking for directions to *somewhere* but she only spoke chinese aaaaaaaa#and i can’t read maps/i don’t even live in the area of my workplace so i have no idea if the lady managed to make it safely#but. lol. the lady showed me her message screen when she asked me for directions to her destination#and by pure coincidence the person she was texting is apparently related to someone with the same first name as me#the cons and cons of having common names man. i hope the lady managed to find her friend with the same name as me though lol#anyways. pls hw im begging. pls drop the crossfade for lxl birthday tmr i n e e d more meoto to carry on—#s o b s this is what im living for now ig. meoto………..
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jediexile · 7 months
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The fact that NC might get a governor who I would honestly say is worse than trump is uhhhhh not making me feel sane and stable
Can any of my trans homies recommend at the very least trans-neutral states to move to that aren’t in cold climates? Not looking to be forcibly detransitioned or, you know, get hate crimed and die
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vaugarde · 10 months
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well i finished renegade. i sure was renegading all over the place
#it was alriiiight.... but man i hate to say it but i think i have more complaints than praises#i DID like florins new execution route and i liked talons deal. the entire end of night spell deal was horrifying and i loved it#i love that genre of horror like ''you die twice when you get forgotten after death''#so seeing it play out here was horrifying in a good way. talon and amber's deaths were both so fucking good like goddamn#they were just as heartbreaking as they needed to be. especially ambers like when you go talk to tesla after#but. man i dont think meta games are for me cause ngl i was sorta just like ''aight.'' to most of the meta here#like that was the one thing about talon i didnt care for. i thought ''everyone i know and love is going to die and god is screaming at me''#was a fine enough motivation to go crazy and become a rift. i thought it was compelling and tragic and a good thing to do#with a new character. but then he started going ''in older versions of the game i wasnt even there i was just a prop for the backstory''#and thats sorta when i started tuning out. like i cant explain why but i feel it made the scene more... cheap?#i think just cause personally ive seen that motivation a lot in meta games before and its gotten old to me#tbh the entire meta angle is whats really dragging this down to me. dont get me wrong i love eizen and his scenes#but i dont see why we have to canonize the game's update cycles as like a critical part of the world#and then theres m2 who i have mixed feelings on. cause i love the character type of ''ive been through so much shit idc anymore''#and they end up being kinda goofy and saying inappropriate/out of pocket things while trying not to discuss The Horrors#ive written more than one of those types of characters. but with m2 its like she doesnt know how to turn that off#like spacea and tiempa's deaths being a tera raid parody where they joke about being in a crashing plane and get bashed by extra melias#it just felt like. unfitting. (also a nitpick but goddamn that scene made my head hurt with how much the screen wobbled)#like really? this is the sendoff they get in the fucked up and evil route? and idk i just dont think m2 was all that funny.#she was more grating than anything tbh. and i just feel like her existence and the bad timeline is just Too Much#like there were already so many plotlines and arcs and do we Really need a new-ish character right before the climax#idk. im hoping v14 is more cohesive in this department#for now im taking a much needed break from this game lol
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rucow · 3 months
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i think its very admirable how u can Tell that corey's been looking after his health, bc idk but when i saw him he looked so healthy. both inside and out. so happy for him 🥺🫶
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firedragon1321 · 1 year
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PLEASE STOP INFANTILIZING CLOUD STRIFE SPECIFICALLY 
PLEASE CALL LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE BABYGIRL
PLEASE CALL SEPHIROTH BABYGIRL
PLEASE CALL BARRET BABYGIRL
GIVE CLOUD A BREAK
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luvth0t · 5 months
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SLUT! ━ C.L
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based off ‘slut!’ by taylor swift
or
in which you work in a man’s world, and loving your competitor is a lot more damning for you than charles.
warnings; smut, driver!reader, themes of sexism and misogyny and touches on inequality, angst, lotta tension tbh, she’s kinda long, unprotected sex, overstimulation, praise, degradation like once, public sex, jealousy and maybe a bad friend reader if u squint, haas suck, manifested monaco win for charles :p
lovelorn and nobody knows
love thorns all over this rose,
i’ll pay the price, you won’t
you’d overcome enough challenges in your life.
you’d constantly proven everyone wrong, do what those said you can’t ━ every step and move you made was met with criticism instead of praise. doubt instead of belief.
you found a way. you broke the records, created your own more so. first modern day female f1 driver, and you didn’t intend to be the last.
haas wasn’t where you wanted to be, and while most expected you to be happy with just having a seat; that’s not why you were here. you didn’t fall in love with the sport to just become a driver.
you wanted to win. podiums, wins, championships. like the other 19 drivers ━ you all wanted the same thing.
for some reason you were the only one who got laughed at when speaking on such wants.
but you got used to the laughter, to the unamused or unimpressed journalists ━ this was a man’s world.
that didn’t scare you as a 14 year old girl, and it wouldn’t scare you now.
all these challenges and obstacles that you overcame, all the doubt and hate you shook off; yet there was a certain something you just couldn’t shake.
certain someone more so.
it killed you inside that a man of all things could cause you so much grief, so much internal conflict.
for some reason when it came to charles, you just couldn’t resist. putting your career first, which you’d done all your life, suddenly became difficult.
you didn’t show it, you also weren’t too hard on yourself. it was unfair to be in this position in the first place. to have to be so aware of your relation to the driver, any other drivers of that matter, was a circumstance only you found yourself in.
friendships and banters amongst any other pairings on the grid was adored; snatched up by social media and cameras.
your friendships caused headlines and unwanted press apparently.
it was something you picked up on quickly, the obsession of romance and the assumption that you wanted to sleep with every damn man you raced alongside.
you laughed at it, spoke down on such thing; then didn’t give it any of your time.
until suddenly the rumours were true; charles leclerc had somehow weaselled his way past every barrier and wall you put up.
it wasn’t something you accepted quickly. and once you caught wind of your stupid little heart and it’s fondness of the monegasque you were quick to try put the friendship and it’s entirety six feet under.
this worked, for a few months.
charles had been confused ━ under the assumption you two were at the bare minimum friends. as good as friends as two drivers could get at least. then suddenly you avoided him as if he was carrying the plague.
he couldn’t question it however; it’d be pathetic. to ask you why you refused to meet his eyes in press conferences and drivers briefings anymore.
why you avoided whatever side of the drivers parade truck he was on. why you couldn’t spare him more than a ‘hello’ in passing these days.
he interacted less with other drivers, and didn’t question them. so he couldn’t question you.
las vegas however, was your downfall.
drinking was unavoidable ━ daniel had made you promise to go out with him the moment you congratulated him on his return; and if it hadn’t been him, you knew someone would’ve of.
with daniel, there was max. that was fine; you got on well with max.
then there were talks lando would make it out, despite having gone to hospital; you knew a couple other drivers would also be in the same club you were. an entry fee so high, everyone around you was oozing importance and wealth.
it shouldn’t have surprised you when suddenly charles appeared at an already drunk daniel’s side; loud laughter and murmurs of a prior vegas trip giving you enough time to down your drink in preparation to be in his presence.
you couldn’t run, not when stood in a group of four; silver slip dress doing little to allow you to blend in with the crowd around you.
you felt his gaze on you before your eyes met his, almost as if it was causing heat on your skin ━ demanding you to look at him.
his eyes had met yours with a slight twinkle, slightly hooded and telling you that he too had enough alcohol running in his veins; and the lazy smile he flashed you had your own lips curving upwards with little resistance.
it was embarassing the way your cheeks went a tint of pink as you watched him weave around daniel who was now speaking to max, too engrossed in a story to care about the way charles moved him out of the way, to stand next to you.
immediately you were aware of his hand finding the small of your back as your body became aware of the closeness of him, breath getting caught in your throat as he leant down towards your ear.
“you look incredible,” the compliment was genuine; the smile accompanying his words rendering you unable to find room to complain.
suddenly it was too hot in here. you’d like to blame the alcohol, or the stuffy club. but the man to your left was the only reason you suddenly craved fresh air.
“thank you,” you hummed, not creating distance between the pair of you despite the idea crossing your mind. he was too close, you should step away. but his cologne smelt incredible. and his hand was still lingering on your back lightly.
his smile only grew at your response, having expected you to wiggle away and disappear into the crowd.
the conversation was harmless, it always had been; but speaking with charles was just a reminder that he was one of the good ones.
he’d only ever been kind to you; kind to everyone. one of the first to speak with you like any other driver, speak about racing and your careers without undermining you.
the more time you spent with him the more clear it became that he was flawless. and oh so tempting.
maybe you would’ve ended the conversation when daniel gave you an out, interrupting the pair of you. but it was with shots on a tray next to him.
three shots later and the four of you were all cringing, scrambling to find chasers; charles offering you a lime that you quickly took ━ managing to squirt lime juice everywhere but your mouth.
it had the pair of you erupting into giggles, your hands quickly landing on his shirt which was now speckled in droplets.
“i’m so sorry!” you exasperated, only now becoming aware of the way you were struggling to stand up straight. using his chest to balance you momentarily.
he wasn’t doing any better, telling you it was fine through his own laughter; his hand lifting to your face ━ thumb brushing a few droplets off your cheek as he too swayed side to side.
your eyes met, both drunken and amused ━ and suddenly all rational thoughts had left your body.
“we need another.” you declared, hand grasping around his forearm; watching as his lips parted to disagree. but he couldn’t. a good time too tempting to resist right now.
max and daniel were long forgotten as you weaved through the crowd to the bar to sought after shots of your own; unable to identify the moment your hands had taken grasp of each other.
it was a fun two hours; innocent as well, flirtatious maybe but his hand didn’t stoop lower than your back ━ drinks consistently being poured; drivers, personnel, sponsors and fans rotating through. but you didn’t leave charles side.
you weren’t on edge either, not thinking about the what ifs. about tomorrow or the next week. just enjoying the moment.
time had gone incredibly quickly. you lost track of how many hours had been spent at the bar, how many drinks you’d downed.
charles too, until you were leaning further and further into his side. his intake stopped the moment he realised you were now struggling to stand straight.
the thought entered his mind to find a member of your team, haas or personal, to help you get you to your room soon.
he was drunk, there was no doubt about it. but he was attempting to sober up in your presence.
when you spilt a drink over the bar however, he took responsibility and declared your night was over.
it was a struggle, as his hands clasped around your arms and attempted to push you towards the exit ━ quickly realising he too was struggling to walk straight.
he’d managed however, getting you into the back of his drivers car not as easy with you dropping your phone. then him his wallet, resulting in drunken giggles and mumbles as you finally got buckled in and situated.
most of the car ride was filled with you rambling, charles more than happy to let you speak. he’d missed hearing from you ━ even if he could barely make sense and keep up with your story.
it wasn’t until you were stumbling in the hotel, through the underground entrance thankfully, and into the elevator that there was moments of silence.
you leaned back against the wall, watching as charles pressed the buttons. admiring more so, head titled aside as you gazed over the ferarri driver.
only then did you realise you shouldn’t be in this position. because all you wanted to do was get your hands on him. admire him up close, the distance of the elevator a rude difference to how the night had been spent.
your arms reached upwards, practically beckoning him over; and with an amused smile he easily fell into place ━ approaching you as his hand pressed against the wall beside your head, eyebrows raising upwards in curiosity as he peered down at you.
your arms wrapped around his neck naturally, neither of you phased from the new closeness and comfortability ━ your eyes flickering over his face, lingering on his lips for a few moments too long.
“i want to kiss you,” the words escaped your lips without any thought; it was as if a weight was lifted off your chest. some form of confession quite relieving.
charles hummed at your words, smirking even as he let out a breathy chuckle.
“yeah?” he teased ━ his breath fanning your face, and you nodded without any hesitation. it’s not what you wanted that had you not making any movements.
“mhm,” you sighed, head falling back; charles having not expected the huff of disappointment. you missed the way his eyebrows furrowed for a split second. if he was sober maybe he’d pick up on your internal conflict.
“kiss me then,” charles chimed, hand finding the side of your head; cupping your cheek so delicately you could only lean into the embrace.
never had you called on such will power and mental strength, fighting every instinct and nerve in your body that was practically yearning for him. begging you to put yourself out of your misery for once and rid the distance between the pair of you.
but you hadn’t come so far for nothing. you could only make so many drunken decisions.
“i can’t,” the words were painful to say, even the slight numbness that alcohol brought; you felt every sting of the sentence.
you watched the way his lips only curved upwards, he hadn’t picked up on the seriousness of your words.
“why not?” the question was teasing, his thumb caressing your cheek making it difficult to stick to your guns.
you looked at him as if he should know; because you’d hope he’d have some sort of idea. maybe if you could see straight you would’ve realised that charles reality wasn’t the same of yours.
“people will talk.” it sounded pathetic when you said it out loud, the sentence sobering you up enough to realise such thing. you weren’t one to usually care what people thought, so the way his smile faltered made sense.
charles took a few moments to process your words ━ he would’ve stepped away if it weren’t for your arms around him.
he wanted to point out that you two were in fact alone, but he knew what you meant. no secret was kept secret for long in the world of f1.
“let them.” charles attempted to dismiss, a cheesy smile to match, one that had you smiling as well. but it wasn’t the grin you’d been carrying all night. it was a sympathetic one almost.
charles was putting some pieces together now, as much as he could at least. your avoidance of him was making more sense with the words currently leaving your lips.
“wouldn’t fair well for me,” you mumbled; the disappointment clear in your tone. the annoyance at the fact there was clearly something stopping you. your mood was falling, charles noticed that easily.
and while he himself wasn’t overjoyed with how the night was concluding, he wouldn’t let it be ruined.
“it’s okay,” charles reassured quickly, his lips pressing to your forehead delicately instead ━ you shouldn’t have to explain yourself, he didn’t want you to feel as if you needed too. “let’s get you to bed.” he grinned.
the affectionate action caught you off guard, left speechless as his hand grasped yours and began to directing you out of the elevator. it only having you feeling regret and self pity for letting the moment escape your fingertips.
which only piled on you tenfold when he left your hotel room barely after making it two steps inside.
climbing into the sheets alone had never been so painful.
painful. a good word to describe the next few interactions with charles.
abu dhabi had you on edge. you didn’t know how to face him.
it was typical, finding yourself sat next to him in the drivers press conference. feeling as if every journalist in the room would take note of the exchanging glances, the way your eyes would quickly find something else if his met yours. the way you listened to him speak a little too intently.
charles however had no worries. not a thought in his mind as he shamelessly admired you, listening to every answer you gave. watching as you reacted to the words of other drivers or questions that weren’t to do with you. he couldn’t look away.
you’d avoided him all morning and yesterday; having not caught you after vegas.
charles was used to such behaviour, except now, he knew why. and your reasoning wasn’t good enough to him.
you two could be friends; it didn’t need to be one extreme or the other. so he had no shame in putting in effort to deter yours.
it was frustrating, almost as if every corner you turned he was there. all weekend, if you were not in the haas hospitality or your motor home, charles was near.
it was no coincidence, leaving the press pen at the same time; passing him after any interview, stuck next to him at the drivers briefing.
you couldn’t avoid the conversation, every moment with him was just pushing you further to the edge ━ your self control was hanging by a very thin thread and you were almost ready to cut it every time those damn green eyes linger on yours.
when you arrived at your hotel after qualifying, it was easy to spot him waiting in the lobby. an odd sight considering the lurking fans.
it made sense however, when charles beelined towards the elevator the moment you did.
you had to hold your breath as you both got inside, biting down on the inside of your cheek to not allow your own frustration bubble over.
“what are you doing?” the question was asked through gritted teeth, and the confusion that masked charles face did little to convince you he was as clueless as he looked.
the twinkle of amusement in his eye revealed enough.
“what do you mean?” the question was almost a challenge, charles peering down at you inquisitively - as if he didn’t know the answer himself.
you took a breath, shaking your head ever so slightly.
to put it simply, you were annoyed. at the world for putting you in this position, at yourself for getting to this point, and him for making it more difficult than it had to be.
“you’re stalking me.” you accused; eyes narrowing into a glare; one that intensified as his own lips curved upwards, and if you weren’t so focused on being annoyed you would’ve swooned over the dimples that lined his cheeks in doing so.
“i am not stalking you,” charles mused, laughing at the accusation as he leant against the wall behind him.
you expected more of an explanation ━ your own eyes trained ahead of you at the elevator doors that remained shut. looking at him was too risky.
“you are. you’re everywhere.” you huffed; not pleased with how clear the frustration was in your tone.
charles wasn’t phased, not in the slightest ━ the grin hadn’t left his face; almost as if any conversation with you was more than enough. even if you were huffing and puffing.
he wasn’t sure how the infatuation had spiralled so quickly; maybe he just wanted what he couldn’t have. the man wasn’t too use to rejection, and last week definitely stumped him.
or maybe he just refused to let you run away from what you clearly both see. feel. there was a connection here, he was sure of it.
“are we not friends?” charles question had you drawing a deep breath, suddenly aware of how slow these elevators were. and recognising the first flaw with being blessed with a penthouse room.
“of course we’re friends.” you rolled your eyes, speaking with such certainty as if you needed to remind yourself. friends.
you two were friends at most, that’s all you’d allow the pair of you to be.
“then you shouldn’t actively avoid me.” charles hummed, no shame in calling out your obvious behaviour that he’d let go on for too long.
it was humorous, the way your jaw dropped in offence at the accusation you knew was true.
“i do not.” your voice went up an octave, not even you could believe your own lie ━ nor try to sell it, avoiding his eye now as your leg began to bounce impatiently. it was becoming suffocating, in an enclosed space with him.
“you do.” charles mocked your voice ever so slightly, but the smile that went along with it left you no room to complain as you glanced over at him; your own lips curving upwards for a mere second.
you had nothing to say. to you it was clear, he knew where you stood. but you weren’t budging. it’s not like you wanted to deprive yourself of him; but you refused to sacrifice your career for a man. call it paranoia; but you don’t want to find out the consequences of adding truth to rumours.
“you don’t trust yourself around me.” charles had you read, and he wanted you to know it.
you two could be, should be, able to be friends at least. the monegasque was unsure as to why he was so set on such thing; some of you, was better than none.
“don’t flatter yourself.” you mumbled, attempting to dismiss his words; he was right. hit the nail on the head actually, but you wouldn’t admit that.
“we can be friends.” charles huffed when he realised he was straying from his original intentions; he didn’t want to provoke or tempt you. just make it clear there can be a platonic relationship here. you shouldn’t be scared of that.
“we are.” you reminded, eyebrows raising as you looked up at him; finally holding eye contact with the driver for more than a few seconds.
“then stop avoiding me.” charles repeated; and he’d be ashamed of how desperate he sounded if he had any room to care. but you were more of a pressing issue.
if he hadn’t called you out on a whole range of fronts you would’ve commented on his desperation; the elevator ding beating you to it regardless as the doors slid open.
“fine. only because you care so much,” your reply was playful; attempting to sound amused and unbothered ━ maybe that would distract from the fact you were agreeing with him.
you only had another day of being around him, you could easily do a day with him. las vegas was an example of your strength and will.
but as his grin widened, dimples and all, green eyes still pouring into yours as he backed out of the elevator; you knew it was never going to be easy.
the sticks and stones they throw froze mid-air
everyone wants him, that was my crime
the wrong place at the right time
of course it wasn’t easy.
you’d kept true to your word, he’d called you out so you finally relented.
the only solace you found in allowing yourself to get closer to charles was the fact you were right.
every moment spent with him felt like a ticking time bomb. you were cracking, you knew it. deep down you knew it was only a matter of time until you shattered and he’d be there to pick up every piece.
at first you’d coincidentally ran into him at your favourite cafe in monaco. not the first time you’d seen him there; but the first time he signalled you to sit down.
it was harmless at first, a quick catch up. one you’d have with any other colleague you’d bump into in public during winter break.
but there was something about seeing him in such casual attire, hoodie and sweats portraying him in a new light you couldn’t help but take a liking too.
what should’ve been five minutes of small talk was two hours of conversation; two hours of mind numbing tension, pretending to not notice the way his eyes would linger on your lips every now and then. or acting oblivious to the way you laughed at every second word that left his lips.
he parted with an offer to go on a run together sometime, and you accepted with the assumption it would be an empty gesture. a plan that never gets put in place.
but then he texted you a few days later; and suddenly you were struggling to find excuses to reject the offer. struggling to find the want too.
a run wasn’t dangerous. you’d both be pre-occupied.
and you were, until you were standing there puffed; exhausted and puffed; and struggling to not grow further flustered of the sight of a sweaty charles.
muscles flexing against the tight shirt, hair messier than usual; cheeks slightly flushed.
inviting him up to your place for a drink wasn’t your intention, but your mouth was a step ahead of your brain.
uncharted territory had now been crossed. messages were swapped regularly, weekly runs together was almost routine. then hours of conversation at either your apartment or his.
if you hadn’t fallen for him before, you definitely had now. it was beyond physical attraction. and it was mutual.
it was the way you found yourself always ensuring you had the biscuits he’d practically raided the first time he was over, always in an unopened packet awaiting him.
the way he found himself buying the lime flavoured water you preferred to drink after exercising; knowing your odd quirk of not being keen on regular water.
the way he came over with your coffee order and a chocolate croissant from your shared favourite cafe when you bailed on your run, apologising to him because you’d become run down with a cold.
“you didn’t have to do that,” you’d sniffled, heart fluttering at the kind gesture.
“what else are friends for,” charles had practically cheesed.
you’d like to convince yourself he was still at a safe distance, it made it easier to ignore the fact this wouldn’t last forever.
the limbo state was not ideal to neither of you, but it was much better than doing what you felt was inevitable. avoiding him again.
except that would just be much harder this time. before it was a crush; now you were swoon. you counted down the days to see him. awaited his name to appear on your phone.
there’d been close calls; moments where you thought one of you would crack.
like the time you struggled to grab a glass out of his cupboard, tippy toes and all it was out of reach.
you felt him behind you before seeing him, hand finding your hip as his other arm simply reached over you to grab a glass; quick to turn on your feet you hadn’t expected him so close.
“thanks,” you had mumbled, clearly flustered as you looked up at him ━ trapped between his frame and the counter; eyes finding his lips immediately.
silence fell over the pair of you, awaiting one of you to make a move.
you were glad charles had cleared his throat and stepped aside, returning to a safe distance ━ because you didn’t think you’d be capable of such thing in that moment.
charles questioned how he managed to do such thing, each and every time you got close to him he doubted how long he could resist being selfish.
he’d failed to realise back in abu dhabi that he neither could trust himself around you. he’d put in so much effort to prove to you that friends was possible, so naive to the fact it may be worse than before.
while he loved your company, it was a cruel reminder that you had ruled out the possibility of this going further. any dreams or fantasies of more would always stay that way; dreams. not reality.
it frustrated him beyond belief, not that he showed it. the way you gazed up at him through your pretty eyes; as if you’d do anything he asked. the way you always leant towards him when you laughed; how easily he could make you laugh.
and he couldn’t do anything about it. because he wasn’t selfish, you feared the consequences of being with him so he would not push you to face them.
deep down however, the pair of you knew it could only be a matter of time.
yet it still stung how easily it could’ve been avoided.
you weren’t meant to go out tonight, it had been a last minute and spontaneous decision; pressured by your friends who insisted, claiming you missed too many girls nights as it is. that winter break was there time to make up for all you miss while away during the season.
you got kicked out of the first bar you found yourself in, all because one of your friends picked a fight with the bartender; but that didn’t bother you in the moment.
on to the next.
it took a whole eight minutes being at the club, one you had subtlety name dropped to get yourself and your friends into, to spot charles in the crowd.
your friends eyes had found him first; your own merely following theirs in curiosity, and you were grateful that all four of you were preoccupied looking at the driver so they would fail to realise your own longing.
“i have not seen him in ages,” your friend stella spoke first; clueless to the developed friendship between the pair of you. you hadn’t really told anyone, call it trust issues.
“we should go say hi,” stella continued; looking at you all with hopefulness; eyes having lit up and appearing incredibly eager.
you couldn’t think of a worse idea. alcohol and charles almost ruined you once; and that was a few months ago. you didn’t think you had that much self control left.
“we have our own driver right here,” your friend had joked, rejecting the idea as she nudged your arm; purely because she wanted a girls night. and you laughed at the stupidity, ready to play along for your own selfish interests.
“unfortunately y/n, you’re not one stella can sleep with again,” your other friend joked through a smirk, alcohol causing word vomit, because by the way stella quickly slapped her arm told you that information she didn’t want shared.
the revelation had your face falling flat, not able to hide such thing as you pursed your lips in thought.
“you and charles?” the words escaped your lips with too much interest but you couldn’t stop yourself. suddenly needing to know more.
stella had let out an exasperated sigh.
you were grateful to know your friend beside you who rejected the idea of speaking to him was as shocked as you.
“ages ago.” stella tried to downplay, waving the idea off. although then she peered over her shoulder to look at the driver again, an innocent smile spreading across her face.
you nodded slightly, trying to muster a fake smile. you couldn’t be mad; it wouldn’t be rational to be mad. even in the slightest.
“i’m gonna go talk to him.” stella announced, and you could only swallow intently as your friend whined about it being girls night, watching as stella promised she’d be back before weaving through the crowd.
you were staring, but you didn’t care.
left to watch as stella made her presence known. watch as charles face lit up at the familiar face, embrace her quickly and introduce her to those he was stood with.
you could tell he was slightly tipsy, the way he was swaying side to side; even with his arm now draped around stella’s shoulders.
the sight made you sick. jealousy was an ugly trait but you’d never embraced it like you were now.
jealous of the fact your friend didn’t have to worry in going after what she wanted. jealous that she could quite happily cling to charles without worrying who saw.
your mood had plummeted, there was no hiding it. your friends definitely noticing but not questioning as they too glanced over at stella to note her progress.
it wasn’t until charles’ eyes found yours across the room that you looked away.
not in shame, you didn’t care that he knew you were watching; but more so to not make it clear how annoyed you were from the sight alone.
charles tensed up the moment he saw you ━ he hadn’t known you were here. and now that he did, the company he was with suddenly wasn’t good enough.
he’d picked up on your cold stare though; the way you failed to offer him your usual sweet smile.
suddenly he felt guilty, quick to remind himself he wasn’t doing anything wrong.
the driver distracted himself momentarily, tuning back into the conversation that was going on around him. but his mind was now elsewhere. you were consuming his thoughts now.
intentions to keep his distance were thrown out the window when he noticed you in his peripheral; standing at the bar alone.
he shouldn’t approach you; but the idea of letting you sit there and think he would rather spend his time with the blonde on his arm than you didn’t sit well with him either.
so he found himself excusing himself, heading to the bar where you stood.
you’d grabbed your drink, and the moment you turned around to head back to your seat and continue your moping, you’d spotted charles headed straight towards you.
a creature of habit; avoid him was your first thought. so you attempted to pretend to not see him, a sudden sense of urgency as you headed back to the booth your two friends were still sat at.
charles picked up on such thing however, his own urgency increasing as he managed to get ahead of you; practically cutting you off.
you’d been so desperate in your attempts to avoid him and his eyes that you collided, your drink taking the brunt of the hit as it fell to the ground; pouring ice and liquid on the floor, thankfully missing the pair of you.
you were quick to glare up at him, made to watch as he put his hands up in innocence and let out a quick and not too meaningful ‘sorry.’
you didn’t want to speak to him. he was an easy target for your current anger, so stepping around him was easy; you’d go without your drink for now, wanting to return to the safety of your booth.
but charles didn’t think that was fair.
he’d grabbed your arm before you made it two steps away; your name falling from his lips almost in warning.
“you don’t get to be mad at me.” charles huffed, it wasn’t fair. you told him that friends was the only possibility, so you had no reason to be glaring daggers and avoiding him as if he’d done something wrong.
he was right, you knew he was right. you weren’t even mad at him. but you were mad; fed up with the constant deprival you had to put yourself through, at how much you cared about what people would say ━ that you couldn’t put you and him out of your shared misery.
but unfortunately you had nothing else to aim your anger at; it was just you and charles in this position, meaning he fell into your firing line.
“i think you care too much about what i think of you.” you tried to dismiss his comment; not wanting to admit he was right, calling out his constant efforts of chasing you.
you watched as his jaw tensed, the breath he let out and his eyes drifting aside as he tried to rationalise his thoughts before he said something he’d regret.
“i didn’t know you knew stella.” charles huffed; deciding on what could be a civil approach. he didn’t need to explain himself, but that would be easier than playing into your game and letting you try create a rift between the pair of you.
you wanted to throw the words back at his face; but you stopped yourself. neither he nor stella owed you any loyalty when it came to one another; definitely not back then, so you couldn’t use it against him.
“it doesn’t matter.” you tried to sound calm, remove yourself from the animosity you held. if you could just get away from him, go home, and pretend this never happened.
“it clearly does.” charles didn’t miss a beat; it would have been easier to blindly believe you but how was that possible when you were refusing to meet his eyes and running away from him.
you shook your head, not knowing what to say because you couldn’t disagree there. he was right; like usual, surprise, surprise. truths were harder to ignore when it was coming from his mouth.
“it shouldn’t.” you spoke simply, before turning on your heel and heading towards the bathroom now; anywhere to get away. the thread was getting thinner, you didn’t trust yourself around him.
he’d debated on following you for a couple seconds, knowing what he should do. return to his friends. to stella; there was no complications there.
but yet he found himself just a few steps behind you, refusing to let you get the last word. to let you fall back into your old habits of avoiding him.
a part of you knew he was following you, or maybe that’s what you wanted to believe. your want to get away from him was just a product of self preservation, not true desire.
so you weren’t surprised to hear your name once you were about to reach the bathroom. turning around to face him with a sigh. you should’ve pretended to not hear him.
“what are you doing?” you huffed; looking at him with lost eyes because you were running out of things to say or do, unsure where to go from here.
“what do you want?” charles question caught you off guard, alongside the fact he took maybe one or two steps too many when catching up to you ━ so close and you couldn’t find the strength to create any distance.
you pursed your lips, shaking your head ever so slightly.
the lack of an answer spoke for itself, you knew what you wanted. him. but admitting such thing would be dangerous.
“you know we can’t━” you started to say, needing to remind yourself that as tempting as he was right now it wasn’t possible.
he cut you off however. charles knew what you thought; what you presumed others would think.
“i don’t care about anyone else. what do you want?” charles repeated, speaking with such intent it would’ve been intimidating if your mind wasn’t a scramble of thoughts.
he was practically begging you to spell it out for him; to face the truth of the matter. if you could look him in the eye and tell him you were happy with what you both had right now, he’d walk away.
but you were never going to do that. you could only bend so far.
you finally snapped.
connecting your lips with his was the easiest option, and the moment you did it was as if nothing else mattered. relief washing over the pair of you, as if a giant weight was suddenly lifted.
there’d been the slightest amount of hesitant in the action, but that was forgotten immediately.
it was rushed and messy at first, months worth of tension bubbling to the surface as your hands both pawed at one another eagerly; grabbing whatever you could.
having your hands on him wasn’t something you’d take for granted; gripping his shirt; moving to his biceps before wrapping around his neck.
his intentions were similar to yours, his large hands sprawling amongst the sides of your waist ━ not bothered by the way it caused your dress to bunch ever so slightly. he tugged you closer too, as if he was scared you’d leave his grasp.
he managed to back you into the bathroom without disconnecting your lips; hand only leaving your waist to fiddle blindly with the lock.
the kiss was still messy, eager and heated; gasping into his mouth when your back suddenly hit the wall. charles body enclosing you immediately, your legs suddenly feeling week as his hips pressed forward against yours.
it was not surprising that it didn’t stop their, neither of you were stopping now that the ice had been broken.
the night concluding with your hands spread on the wall ahead of you as charles pounded you from behind, dress bunched around your waist and panties pulled aside.
“gotta be quiet mon amour,” he’d whispered into your ear after your moans continued to grow in volume ━ his hand then moving to your jaw, sliding two fingers past your lips to shut you up.
you would’ve died happily in that moment, moments away from the best orgasm of your life.
no matter what happened, you wouldn’t be regretting it.
and I break down, then he's pullin' me in
in a world of boys, he's a gentleman
you hadn’t seen charles since that night in monaco.
he’d left for maranello not too long after, then you spent the rest of break in america; the season approaching relatively quickly.
messages were swapped, but nothing more.
testing was hectic, you didn’t get to see him or spend time with him even if you wanted too.
you weren’t sure you wanted to however. you missed him, that had been mutually expressed over text. but both you and he were scared; unsure how to navigate what happens now.
because unfortunately the circumstances hadn’t changed, you’d just gotten a taste of one another.
by the time it was raceday at bahrain, all excitement for the start of the season had left your body.
thursday set the tone; all your hard work, months of avoidance and deprival ━ it suddenly meant nothing.
you first caught wind of such in the press conference, sat alongside max, lewis, lando, carlos and alex.
when you finally got asked a question, your breath got stuck in your throat.
“did you enjoy your winter break? a new trainer in charles it seems?”
the question was posed so innocently, you knew the tone. the cheery and amused light heartedness to mask the undertones; it was accusing. you knew it was; any girl would get it.
you knew photos were circulating of you and charles running around monaco, but that wasn’t an issue. there were photos of you and daniel out for lunch as well. ones of you and toto exchanging hello’s.
what a headline; you got along with people you worked with.
“uh yeah,” you laughed off; biting your tongue, like usual. you knew when to pick your battles. “i’m no good at padel so, stuck to running.” you hummed, left to watch as the journalist nodded almost unconvinced.
it was a sinking feeling; they knew, everyone knew. it’d somehow got out. that you’d slept together. paranoia; you had to remind yourself. they couldn’t know.
“is it difficult to have relations off track with competitors?” he was looking you dead in the eye as he posed another question to you, and it hit a nerve.
you shifted ever so slightly in your seat. you hadn’t faced these sort of questions since your rookie year, when journalists didn’t realise what they should and shouldn’t imply.
you had to hold back a scoff; biting down on the inside of your cheek.
“is that a question for all of us or just me?” you practically challenged, and the awkwardness that fell over the room only had the pit in your stomach growing.
it was as if they all knew something you didn’t.
that was all you were asked, all you could think about as you sat on the couch, itching to get out of this damn room.
but that was just the start.
entering the haas hospitality your gut feeling made sense when you were faced with the entirety of the press team awaiting you.
granted, the press team was only four people. but you only ever really dealt with your own press officer if it was without warning.
the whole conversation was a blur, you felt sick the moment it begun.
‘we need to have a meeting,’
‘there’s photos of you and leclerc,’
‘damming to your reputation. our reputation,’
‘unacceptable behaviour and a breach of contract,’
‘negotiating to not let mainstream media run with it,’
‘we’re opening our own private investigation.’
you were being spoken at, no room to reply, no ounce of sympathy. you could feel the disgust as they spoke. as if you’d actually done something wrong.
“investigation?” you repeated in confusion, bewildered as you glanced between the lot of them.
you didn’t know what to say. or do.
deny? beg them to cover it up? apologise?
you felt like that 13 year old girl again, that anything you said wouldn’t matter. keeping your mouth shut as they broke out in chatter again.
short. blunt. your own press officer not even sticking around as they the dispersed, even mentioning that gene would probably be calling later.
you felt like you were going to throw up the moment you got into the privacy of your drivers room, it only taking a few seconds to find the photos flooding your timeline.
monaco. it was undeniable. it was definitely him, definitely you, kissing.
you held back your tears, determined to not let the comments ruin you. your press teams words lingering, but you pushed them back.
the day dragged, you were on edge; one wrong move and an on pour of tears would arise to the surface. just needed to wait till you were in the privacy of your hotel room.
these people would not see you cry.
you hadn’t expected the cold shoulder from your own team. but it was your manager that was the tip of the iceberg.
you hadn’t seen him all day, a close friend you’d consider him, he’d been with you since f3.
“where have you been?” you breathed as you climbed into the car, more than relieved to be leaving the track. and hopefully every conversation that was had.
“cleaning your mess.” he’d muttered in annoyance, and you couldn’t help but shake your head as your jaw clenched.
“not you too,” it was an attempt of a joke, head resting against the window. “don’t know why people are acting like i shared the teams 3 year plan with the enemy,” you huffed.
but you were only met with silence, causing your eyes to glance to your manager who was focused on his laptop in his lap.
“i mean it jason. the way i was treated today was━” you began to speak up at his silence, anger was easier than the self pity.
“what did you expect?” his question was venomous, shutting you up quickly as you stared at him with a slack jaw. it took a few moments to process, how he was on side with them.
or more importantly, not on your side. the guy who you pay to be on your side.
“for my personal life to remain personal.” you spoke like it was obvious.
you had feared this, yes, but that didn’t mean it was right. maybe you held onto hope your lack of faith in the world was misplaced. but everyone was proving you right.
he shook his head simply, so disappointingly you had to laugh, eyes gazing back out the window as you rapidly approached the hotel.
“i thought you didn’t want to be known for this.” his comment was a throw away one, but it cut you deep. his insinuation one he knew would sting, so you didn’t hide the fact it did.
“known for what?” you spoke through gritted teeth; if he wanted to insult you he better not half ass it.
there was moment of silence, hesitance; but not long enough.
“sleeping around.” he shrugged, still typing away on his computer. “great way to halt contract talks. i mean come on y/n,” he groaned.
you weren’t sure if he was right, you’d like to think your talent would over shine paddock gossip. but if he was right, the problem should lie with teams misogyny. not your sex life.
you highly doubt ferarri will hesitate resigning charles because of the matter.
you didn’t say another word, not trusting your voice; it was too much. felt like you were being attacked from every angle. ambushed even.
you’d slammed the door the moment you got out the car, urgently getting inside the hotel; managing to find the elevator through blurry eyes, tears threatening to spill.
almost there.
the elevator ride was testing, the silence made your short breaths and sniffles hard to ignore as you tiptoed on the line of breaking.
the final straw however, was charles himself leaving his hotel room as you navigated your way to yours.
your name had never sounded so delicate coming from his lips, as if he knew that you were fragile, sympathetic eyes as he took a few steps towards you.
“don’t━” you breathed out, voice breaking on you before you could say his name. your hand raising to tell him to stay where he was.
the first tear fell, silently.
“i’m so sorry,” he breathed out; cautiously stepping forwards despite your action. it broke him, the sight of you. he’d never seen you so upset.
overjoyed, pissed off, ecstatic, confused, riled up; he’d seen it all. but never had he seen you cry.
“you’re the last person i want to see right now.” you managed to get out.
lie.
complete lie, but unfortunately once more he was an easy target. the face of today’s events and the reason for fractures in practically every professional relationship you’d formed over the years.
charles didn’t take your words to heart, watching as you fumbled to find your room key; your shaky hands had him frowning, behind you now as he grabbed your arm when you took a step inside.
“please,” charles sighed; desperate for you to let him help. let him comfort you. he felt responsible, but it wasn’t guilt that was pushing him towards you.
just the need to ensure you were okay.
he’d barely received a slap on the wrist. told by his press team to ‘be more careful next time.’ and reminded issues would arise if talks of strategy and racing came to light.
that was that. his day went on. he almost got ahead of himself, optimistic the day could end with him showing up at your door to tell you that you never had anything to worry about.
but word spread quickly in the paddock, and charles caught onto the double standards incredibly quickly with how you were being spoken about in comparison to him.
you didn’t trust your voice once more, simply shaking your head ‘no’ as you got inside, attempting to shake his grasp.
he didn’t let you however, which was almost a relief.
the door shut behind the pair of you, charles tugging you towards his chest immediately.
you had no more strength, no fight left; simply letting him do so as the tears poured.
your head met his chest, arms clinging to his shirt as his arms went around you; holding you close as he mumbled encouraging words.
he felt like a safe place, allowing you to be weak and vulnerable with no fear for the first time in a long time.
quiet sobs and sniffles escaped you as you shook in his hold. it wasn’t just a days worth of torment, no, but all the other shit you put up with from the start of your career.
charles wasn’t sure what to say, just that it’d be okay. let it out. i’ve got you.
his hand was running through your hair delicately, and you somehow register the multiple kisses he pressed to the top of your head; such subtle actions that managed to slow your heart rate.
“i’m so sorry,” charles words were whispered, it was what brought you out of your own head; teary eyed peering up at him as you shook your head.
this wasn’t his fault.
“not your fault,” you spoke through a deep breath, starting to gain your composure. still timid, but you’d gotten the tears out.
“it’s not yours either.” charles spoke in certainty, sounding pissed off. because he was. and it made your stomach flip.
it was the bare minimum, but hearing someone be in your corner was exactly what you needed. the fact it was charles was just a bonus.
“i mean it’s more my fault than yours. i didn’t leave you alone, putain, i am sorry,” he began to ramble. the guilt was eating him alive. you’d tried to avoid this ━ he couldn’t help but feel as if he threw you into the lions den.
you disagreed however. deep down, this all felt inevitable. like it was a matter of when, not if. you were so scared of this happening because apart of you knew there was no avoiding it.
“i don’t regret it.” you told him in certainty, hand moving to cup his cheek; offering a sad smile. “it’s just━ not fair.” you mumbled.
his smile mirrored yours, lacking the usual brightness it held as thumb lifted to your cheeks; brushing away the tears staining your skin.
“it’s gonna be okay. i’ll fix this.” charles promised, but it wasn’t a promise he could keep. you knew that, your head tilting aside as you sighed.
his intentions were pure, held your best interest at heart.
“m’ just gonna have to let it blow over.” you told him, taking a sharp inhale. that didn’t answer the question that lingered between the pair of you.
what this was. what you two were.
he nodded ever so slightly, frustration growing at the fact he couldn’t fix it himself. he wanted to help. to rid you both of the outside noise and judgmental opinions.
“but i think━” you’d cut yourself off, you didn’t want to say it.
he knew however, by the way your grip had tightened on his shirt. the way your eyes held sympathy and sorrow. he knew what you were going to say.
“i know,” charles sighed; nodding in reassurance.
this needed to stop. whatever this was, it couldn’t go further. not for now at least; charles knew that.
rumours won’t die down if there is still truth to them.
your bottom lip quivered slightly at the sight of the sad smile he showed you; the way he was so willing to comply.
you hated the fact you both had to suffer, all for what?
“i’ll stay away, i promise,” charles hummed; biting down on the inside of his cheek as he ran his fingers through your hair once more.
you still had no words, because it was the last thing you wanted. yet somehow was what you needed.
you’d like to say to hell with it, to tell him you didn’t care. that you could be together, and figure out the latter.
but today had been hell; you weren’t sure it was something you could get used too.
“thank you,” you whispered out; charles only response was pulling you close once more, knowing when he let you go, it would be for good.
he had to let you go.
but if I'm all dressed up, they might as well be looking at us
if they call me a slut, you know it might be worth it for once
charles stayed true to his word.
it was obvious, the way you two steered clear of each other.
talk of you and him died down, the paddock found something else to focus on within a couple weeks; and it was just another story for the history books that would be brought up every now and then.
their was awkwardness in the team however.
their investigation closed with no findings, something you laughed at.
a motivator; to get the fuck out of there.
it paid off, comfortably beating your teammate. dragging the car into the points most weeks.
talks with mercedes was going well, progressing nicely ━ you wanted to emphasise to your manager that charles hadn’t been mentioned once from them either.
but you weren’t going to dwell on the past.
not audibly at least.
charles was a sacrifice you hated making, and it was mutual.
it was cruel, the way you were too scared to meet his eye if cameras were around. scared one wrong move and you’d be jumped on by prying eyes and gossipers.
charles too shared your fear; he didn’t want to put you in a compromising position. and while it was physically painful to cut you off completely, he managed.
none was easier than some, it seemed.
it was laughable, how the pair of you actually believed the avoidance would stick this time. that it would actually work.
couldn’t even make it to summer break, a few months apart was bound to be all you could endure.
monaco, a race you’ll never forget.
your signing with mercedes was announced on the thursday; a milestone in your career, a highlight.
you were ecstatic, nay-sayers and doubters did little to dull your mood ━ nothing would ruin such an achievement.
but it motivated you.
you heard it all before, when you signed with haas. how it was a PR move, not on merit. for the money you would bring in. the commercial value.
it was the same thing, and the need to prove people wrong was always a blessing when you got in the car.
it’d been a wet qualifying, playing into your favour. putting the car into p3 meant everything would’ve had fallen into place. and it did.
you were overjoyed, the smile had not been wiped off your face. you were proving that contract was yours based off your talent.
you went on to hold onto p3 in the race and secure a podium, you were high off adrenaline and excitement the moment you got out of the car.
you’d handled the pressure, failed to make a mistake; blessed to have had your best qualifying at the hardest place to overtake.
the other headline of the weekend?
charles had finally won his home race.
he wasn’t on your mind, not as you shared the podium. or as you faced the media together afterwards.
you cared deeply for charles, but this was your childhood dream. years worth of hard-work had finally paid off. being near him wasn’t hard, for once, because you had way too many things to currently be happy about.
it was civi and casual, friendly; in the cool down room, on the podium; in the interview.
it wasn’t until later that night, on a random super-yacht, surrounded by drunken socialites and f1 personalities that temptation reached you once more.
you’d barely had a drink, being pulled in every way and direction; talking to many that you didn’t have time to sip the half full glass in your hand.
charles knew this; he’d been watching you all night.
his dream had come true, winning in monaco; in front of his home fans.
call him greedy for wanting more as he stood on the yacht, surrounded by his friends as his eyes settled on you.
he couldn’t help but think of the only way to make this night perfect; you.
the praise and congratulations from everyone else was nice, but he was dying to hear it from you.
to congratulate you as well. on your podium. on your contract.
he thought he was over it, the unfairness of it all. but this was a new challenge.
watching as you stood there, hugging everyone. beaming and laughing, as you should.
would it be so wrong for him to congratulate you as well? to steal a couple minutes of your time? he’d promised to stay away, but this had to be an exception.
right?
so charles went against his word, weaving through the crowd the moment you caught a break in conversations.
uncharacteristically dismissing those who tried to speak to him as he set on his way towards you, nothing would stop him.
“hey,” charles made his presence known; capturing your attention; and the way your eyes lit up and lips curved upwards, he wanted to kill whoever had deprived him of such sight for however many months.
“hi!” you couldn’t help but sound surprised, pleasantly surprised.
you’d been wanting to talk to him; which wasn’t anything new. needing to talk to him however, just unsure how to navigate such thing.
“congratulations. sure you’ve heard it all, but you deserve this.” charles words were genuine; smiling down at you proudly, and while you had heard it all the past couple hours; it meant more coming from him. “the contract as well. huge news,” he added.
your nose scrunched up slightly, grinning ━ pure happiness present because you really were oh so happy.
“thank you,” you smiled; nodding appreciatively. “i should say the same to you. i know how much this win means to you,” you spoke; and charles could only smile at the way you sounded so sincere.
“thank you,” his turn to offer thanks, a silence falling over the pair of you.
that was all you should say, all you were sure was excusable.
it was clear, the way you both had so much on the tip of your tongue; too scared to let it out. neither wanting to be the one to crack. to undone all the hard work.
charles so desperately wanted to rant his heart out, remind both you and himself that the past few months had been undeserved torture. and he was convinced he was going to for a moment.
but he couldn’t. he wouldn’t be selfish with you.
“well i’ll see you━” charles had cleared his throat, ready to do the right thing. to walk away, like he promised he would.
but you cut him off. scared if you didn’t tell him now, you never would.
“wait.” you interrupted, pursing your lips; and he was happy to shut up. he didn’t need any convincing to stay put.
“i uh, with my mercedes contract…” you trailed off; biting your lip. “i made it clear, what expectations would be of me. on and off track, obviously. like anyone would,” you rambled slightly; nervously even.
charles wasn’t sure he’d ever seen you nervous.
you were nervous because of what you were implying.
you’d made it clear you didn’t want to be held to any individual expectations off track, that your relations with others wouldn’t concern the team if it didn’t jeopardise the team.
you were grateful, how understanding mercedes were. a breath of fresh air really. so much you’d basically outright told them that you didn’t want you and charles to be an issue, if anything were to arise between the pair of you.
you’d figured if you had a team that backed you, handling outside noise and assumptions would be made a lot easier.
“me and you, it wouldn’t be an issue.” you summed up; practically spitting it out. it felt weird, suddenly lacking confidence as you referenced a ‘you and him.’ worried that ship had sailed.
you watched as his eyebrows raised, lips parting in surprise.
he hadn’t expected you to say such thing, the one thing he’d dreamt of you saying one too many times.
“if that uh, you know. ever happens, i don’t know,” you added on; feeling the need to back pedal, not wanting to come off headstrong. it was the reason for your hesitance. you and charles had never discussed what you were, because it never seemed possible.
charles wasn’t sure what to say. his first instinct was to kiss you; because it seemed as if this was the best night of his life, with all his hopes and dreams coming true.
but his care for you trumped all.
“people will still talk,” he couldn’t help but remind softly. not to argue against you, but to ensure you knew exactly what you were implying. he knew the rush you were feeling, first podium. fresh off multiple highs, he didn’t want you to come crashing down tomorrow and regret these words tonight.
he didn’t know you’d already assessed all your options, weighed up the two cons. your mind had been made up, you just needed to bite the bullet.
you’d already been through it, called every name in the book. may as well make it all for something.
“let them.” you breathed out, a shy smile following suit, mischievous almost, quoting him from that night in vegas. you’d said it with confidence, such conviction he knew you meant it.
his smile was bright, practically beaming at you as he nodded. unsure what to do next, but he didn’t care. he liked the way things were looking.
he hadn’t expected you to kiss him, in the middle of the crowded floor, but god he wasn’t complaining ━ hands finding the small of your back as yours wrapped around his neck.
you’d pulled away shortly afterwards, not creating any distance as your foreheads touched.
“if you still want this of course,” you spoke; just above a whisper, realising you hadn’t really let him confirm he still wanted this.
he’d laughed, at the idea alone he didn’t. shaking his head at the thought as he brought his hand up to cup your face.
“all i could think about tonight, was that the only thing that would make today truely perfect, would be sharing it with you.” charles confessed; taking in the way you lit up at his words, watching as any last doubts or fears vanished from your frame.
you were relaxed, happy and carefree; not one bit of energy spent on anyone around you. who saw, who cared; it meant nothing to you.
you giggled as you pressed your lips to his again, passionately this time; charles leaning over you as he held your body close to his, smiling against your pink lips.
it felt incredibly cliche, as if you were the only two people on the yacht in the moment.
he’d murmured something about getting out of here only moments later, you being quick to agree.
patience was something you’d both demonstrated incredibly well over the last year; safe to say you both had none left to spare.
navigating the crowd hand in hand almost felt like a rush, relieving to not care as you followed him off the yacht; giddy like teenagers as you climbed into the back of a car.
he’d barely gotten his address out before you were on him again, lips pressed against his as you gripped his shirt.
charles hand tangled in your hair, revelling in the way your lips felt against his. he’d spent many nights recounting your night together; attempting to cling to the feeling and pleasure it brought. this was ten times better than what his imagination could produce.
the only time you kept your hands off him was the short walk from the car to the elevator of his apartment complex, the moment the doors slid shut you found yourself pressed against the wall ━ his hands gripping your hips and lips attacking your neck.
you became breathless quickly, satisfied hums escaping you; head tilting back to give him as much access as he wanted.
“have i ever told you how beautiful you are mon ange,” charles sighed against your skin; only lifting his head when he heard the doors ring open.
you smiled at him stupidly, taking in the sight. his pretty green eyes, slightly swollen lips and tussled hair. more beautiful than anything you’d ever seen before.
“come on,” you mused with a blush, urging him to head to his room; in quick pursuit.
you’d barley gotten your heels off once inside when charles was snaking his hands under your thighs, hoisting you up as your legs wrapped around his waist.
it didn’t feel really; finally able to have you like this.
“gonna make you feel so good,” charles murmured against your lips as he navigated his way through the apartment, hands squeezing your ass which granted a gasp from you. “deserve so much more than a quickie in the bathroom,” he commented.
while your first time together was more than satisfying, it was rushed. muffled moans and chasing release desperately with fear the moment could’ve been ruined in any moment.
tonight you were all his. no need to keep you quiet, no limit to the positions he could put you in.
he sat at the end of his bed; you not taking long to get comfortable in his lap as your lips moved roughly against his; hips grinding as you did so.
“you won,” you breathed out as you shifted your attention up his jaw, teeth catching his ear momentarily as you kissed at the skin of his neck. “let me make you feel good,” you whispered; charles head tilting back as he audibly groaned. “you deserve it,”
charles always loved praise, his ego thrived on it. but god, hearing it from you? his pants were feeling way too tight.
he couldn’t say no to you, not that’d he’d ever want too.
you didn’t give him any time to reply regardless, climbing off his lap and standing between his legs momentarily, hands holding onto his knees as you pressed one lingering kiss to his lips.
sinking to your knees, you were incredibly eager. a scenario you’d play out too many times as your hands got to work in freeing his cock.
charles lips parted as he rested back on his hands, head tilted downwards as he watched you intently ━ biting down on the inside of his cheek at the sight alone.
his breaths only got heavier as you spat in your hand and jacked him off a couple times, hissing as your thumb rolled over his tip.
the sight was better than you could imagine, as you took him in your mouth and watched his head fall back. his clenched jaw, neck muscles and arms flexing as he groaned.
it had your thighs clenching together, not wasting time in bobbing your head; taking as much of him as you could; hitting the back of your throat each time but it did little to deter you.
“putain,” charles grunted under his breath ━ forcing himself to tilt his head back down to watch you work, hand gathering your hair in a makeshift pony tail. and the way his lips curved into a smirk when your eyes met his had your thighs clenching once more.
“there you go pretty girl, taking me so well,” charles huffed ━ noting the way you gagged around him every now and then, yet showed no signs of slowing down. “mouth is fucking heaven,”
his praise only encouraged you further, doe eyes staring up at him through your lashes; tears welling in your eyes.
your hand was holding his thigh for support, watchinf as he busied himself momentarily by ridding himself of his shirt ━ revealing his toned torso flexing with each sharp breath he took.
“pull your dress down,” his words were direct, a clear demand and with him staring down at you like he was ready to ruin you, you didn’t need to be told twice. tugging your dress down to free your breasts.
his admiring eyes raked your body shamelessly, pleasure only increasing from the sight. you were fucking perfect, and he couldn’t believe this was real.
it was as if you caught on to the moment, reading him perfectly as your efforts picked up ━ keen to make him cum.
and by the way he was starting to tug on your hair, you knew he was close.
he came in your mouth moments later with little warning, and you were practically squirming in your place as you licked him clean.
“you’re perfect,” charles breathed after catching his breath, which happened incredibly quickly; signalling you to climb back into his lap.
you giggled as you did so, grinning as you pressed your lips to his once more; straddling him with ease as your hands spread across his toned chest ━ happy to touch him now that he was back in reach.
his hand moved up your leg, pushing your panties aside and cupping your cunt with little warning; causing you to moan into his mouth.
“you’re fucking soaked,” charles spoke, pulling back to watch your face contort in pleasure; watch as you became putty in his hold. “barely touched you yet baby,” he cooed ━ you couldn’t help but whine, hips bucking against his hand as he circled your clit.
he took in every feature on your pretty face, able to live in the moment and not be rushed like last time. make you feel everything he wanted you too.
“who would’ve guessed you were such a slut,” charles mused; practically toying with you. he couldn’t help himself, not when you looked so pretty panting and whimpering in his lap.
“for you.” you whimpered, hand gripping his bicep tightly as your hips moved against his hand; yearning for more.
he grinned widely at that, rewarding your words as a finger pushed past your folds unexpectedly.
“all for me.” charles hummed in agreement, words still slightly breathless himself as his other hand moved to cup the side of your face, making avoiding his eyes impossible. “all mine.”
the statement had your stomach flipping, words you could used to. something you’d know a long time, but hearing it out loud was so refreshing.
you were his. he was yours.
“please charles,” you whined out impatiently, his toying with your cunt felt good; but you need more, your thighs a painted mess along with his hand by now.
your plea had him hardening again, words sounding so alluring coming from your lips.
“what do you want mon amour?” charles spoke through a breath, eyes gazing over you as if you were the most gorgeous thing he’d ever seen. because you were. “tell me, i’ll give it to you,” he promised; thumb grazing your cheek; such a delicate action that didn’t correlate with his thumb teasing your clit expertly.
you whimpered again, cheeks a tint of pink as your eyes fluttered shut momentarily, but they found charles gaze once more.
“all of you,” you spoke. “wanna feel you,” you sighed; his cock was pressing against your inner thigh ━ not helping with the urge to feel him inside you.
his lips curved upwards, pleased with your answer; and unable to deny himself any longer either. you’d both been through enough torture, he wouldn’t be delaying this any longer.
“want me to fuck you yeah?” charles paraphrased for you, hand leaving your cunt to find your waist; lifting you off his lap with ease and laying you beside him.
he was hovering over you within seconds, leaving you to nod eagerly below him. your hands found the hem of your dress, tugging it up and over your head as if that would help entice him.
but he didn’t need any help; he doesn’t think he’d last another second without being inside you.
he slid inside you without another word, your gasps intertwining as your own head fell back against his pillow; eyes fluttering shut at the stretch.
he gave you a moment to adjust, his head falling into the crook of your neck; light kisses peppered on your skin, a contrast to the way he was about to fuck you.
your hands tugging on his hair told him you wanted more; thrusting into you slowly and deeply at first, your mouth fell agape at the angle it hit ━ moans beginning to fall from your lips.
“charles, fuck,” you mumbled ━ fingers moving down his back, sure to leave marks as he gradually picked up the pace.
his thrusts got quicker, but not softer; fucking you into the mattress, all you could do was whimper and moan ━ eyes rolling back at the pleasuring sensation.
“so perfect for me,” charles grunted; the way you were squeezing him was better than he remembered, keeping his focus on your own pleasure because if not, he’d probably cum within moments.
“oh my god,” you all but practically squealed when he moved your leg over his shoulder, feeling as if he was splitting you open; you bit down on your lip to try shut up the now constant sounds.
charles wasn’t having a bar of it however.
“ah, ah,” charles breathed; hand moving to tap your cheek. “wanna hear you gorgeous girl. every fucking sound,” charles told you; eyes pouring into yours which made it clear he wasn’t joking.
you nodded weakly, on cue charles delivering a harsher thrust that had you choking out a moan once more.
it didn’t take long, for you to get brought to the edge; stomach growing tight as your eyes rolled back once more. cumming without warning, unable to process the pleasure you were feeling.
a moment of weakness for charles, watching as you shook beneath him and screamed his name; squeezing him suddenly, he almost came too. he didn’t though thankfully, because his focus was still you.
you weren’t prepared for him to not relent, instead feeling his hand snake between your bodies and find your clit, eyes flying open.
“o-oh,” you gasped, the onslaught of pleasure hard to cope with as your hands gripped onto his back tightly, nails digging into his skin as he smirked down at you.
“take it baby,” charles grunted; eyebrows raising momentarily. “too much?” his question was teasing, and he couldn’t help the breathy chuckle when you shook your head; scared he’d stop. you didn’t want him to stop.
you weren’t sure you could take it, but you were going to try. you’d do anything for him when he was touching you like this.
“so good,” you moaned; tears welling in your eyes quickly from the overstimulation, body jolting with every thrust which hadn’t relented.
his stamina impressive, having not slowed down nor gotten sloppy as he pounded into you.
you were struggling to keep your eyes open now, lost in the pleasure. but charles wanted to watch you, and wanted you to watch him as you pushed you over the edge once more.
“look at me baby,” charles grunted; pinching your clit lightly which had your eyes flying open, meeting his. “gonna watch me as you cum again yeah?” charles told you, his own breaths heavier now as he struggled to not let himself revel in the feeling of you.
you nodded, again, like a broken record; all your effort focused on watching him as your face contorted in pleasure. maybe even a tear or two fell, the familiar feeling washing over you again suddenly as he delivered another harsh thrust. and another. and suddenly it was as if he found new energy somewhere.
you all but screamed his name as you came again suddenly, coming undone on his cock. he was close behind, unable to resist with the way your walls squeezed him again.
your heavy breaths filled the room as charles helped you both ride out your highs, before sliding out of you, he remained above you regardless.
he was looking at you in awe, hand pushing some of your hair away that had gotten stuck to your forehead, earning a lazy smile from you in return.
“i could get used to that,” your words broke the silence; eyes flickering to his lips which gave charles the hint to place a kiss on your lips, a delicate one unlike those shared earlier.
he’d chuckled at your words afterwards, humming in agreement as his hand ran up and down your side comfortingly.
“me too,” charles agreed with a grin; pressing yet another kiss to your lips, a longer one this time; passionate and slow. enjoying the moment. the peace of it all.
when you pulled away moments later, you practically beamed as you urged him off of you; moving to straddle him instead.
you had a lot of time to make up for.
━━━━━
a/n: oh she’s bACK BACK CHARLES FIC YAY
hope u liked, still rusty lol i don’t rlly like the smut but i did enjoy writing the angst hehe
unedited sorry i’ll get to that later like usual oOps
as always feedback is always greatly encouraged and appreciated, means the world to me so pls share ur thoughts 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼
luv u all !!!!!!!
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voidhope · 1 year
Text
The Other Woman
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Synopsis: Where Miguel leaves Y/N to go back to a different version of his old wife found in another universe.
Pair: Miguel O’Hara x Spider!Reader
Tags: ANGST!!, long term established relationship, heartbreak, marriage, cheating, mental health, cold/distant Miguel
A/N: Hi! I don’t really write at all!!
I have been a silent reader on tumblr for years but this idea has been playing in my mind so much I had the urge to write it. I have been down so bad for Miguel been on his tag like 24/7 indulging in all the content creators have been putting out. So I’m excited to join in giving content, however keep in mind I kinda suck! Apologies for any mistakes, anything confusing, or it not being well written enough. Honestly could have made this into multiple parts with better details but nah. Tried my best ^^ since it’s my first time, any feedback is greatly appreciated!
Honestly tbh we all don’t have a solid grasp how the whole canon thing and multi universe works yet so!! A lot of what is written is made up to suit my storyline so please don’t get mad about the inaccuracies.
I love a good angst and today’s story will be EXTRAAA angsty!!! As well kinda long!!
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The moment that changed your life was while working on an experiment during your college finals. You were a proud and gifted physics major that was so passionate about discovering and exploring what the world didn’t know.
You had snuck into Alchemax late at night. You wanted to show your professors just how much you could do with the right tools. Next thing you know, playing with their machines, you had spawned a spider right in-front of you. The glowing vibrant red spider had sunk its jaw into your hand.
Your life did a complete turn and you spent the rest of that week freaking out while changes to your body were happening. Causing you to fail your semester after missing exams. Things felt like it could only get worse when a massive blue suited masked man showed up out of nowhere in your dorm interrogating you.
“Where’s the spider?” He had a strong grip on your shoulders. You couldn’t focus while trying to process why this man had what seemed like claws sticking out of the ends of his fingers.
“I don’t know, it like died after it bit me!” You exclaimed nervously at the freakishly strong man. Trying to reach for anything behind you to use as a defense weapon.
“Dios mío no me digas eso…” He groaned loudly letting you go. Having the opportunity to grab something, you threw a sanrio plushie at him. Only causing him to wave his arms in annoyance. “That spider is from my earth and somehow you brought it here. Now you’re a spider-man.”
And the rest is history…
You learned that the man was Miguel O’Hara and when he found you he was just starting his missions with the multiverse. You being the few of the firsts to join his team.
Your situation was quite bizarre and he called you an anomaly for a long time, spending hours studying you and also training you. You ended up being the one case that can’t be explained no matter how much effort was put into monitoring you.
Almost like it was meant to be. Your universe remained perfect with its current spider-man doing fine. No big collapse of a black hole or anything. When you got bit by a spider from Earth-928 your DNA merged with that universe making you fit in perfectly. You were one of the only spider-people with an uncertain timeline with new canons being created depending on what universe you were in.
What changed from you being just a piece of research for Miguel is when he then realized that maybe you were a gift from the multiverse. After all the grief and pain he’d went through the universe had given him this person that worked out perfectly no matter how hard he tried to push them away. You fell head over heels for him and vice versa, all while canon events were being created with both of you together.
You were there as his team grew, slowly turning into a family. Then both of you getting married finalizing that this was your home. Everything felt perfect. Although a relationship with Miguel could have its up and down days, nothing could ever tear you both apart. Or so you assumed.
“I’m sorry Y/N.” Miguel couldn’t look at you.
“When did this start? Please be honest with me. Did I do something wrong?” You begged at him. You knew he was acting off recently but never did you think it would result to this.
You watched as he exhaled deeply staring at the ground. You felt like you couldn’t breathe as you studied his face trying to grasp onto any emotion he was showing. The atmosphere in his office felt so cold. You so badly wanted to catch his gaze and find the warmth and love his red irises used to give you. He was doing everything to push you away. He was abandoning you.
“You did nothing wrong. I met her during a mission 4 months ago.” Was all he replied.
“Who is she?” Your heart kept breaking. His face hardening as the question slipped through your lips. You knew Miguel wouldn’t leave you for just anyone. Deep in your heart you knew what this was about. He never responded but he didn’t need to when you saw his eyes flicker over to his monitor screens. You followed his trace and saw the photo of Gabriella in the corner.
“Does she have another version of your daughter?” You tried again. This is what made him look directly at you. Miguel kept opening and closing his month unsure how to tell you the truth. You weren’t stupid and he knew that. After everything he couldn’t just walk out on you with a lie.
“No.” He paused thinking of how to finally share the truth without it ruining you. There was no way out of this. “She is a younger version of herself. There is no Miguel in her universe and she’s not important to the timeline. She lives a regular life. I-it’s a chance for me to start at the very beginning.”
You felt your heart being ripped out of your chest. You processed the words carefully. She doesn’t have a child yet… Not only was he leaving you for her but he was going to fall in love with her all over again and start a family with her. A family you wanted so badly to have with him.
“What about with what happened last time you tried to live a life in a different universe?” You didn’t understand how this was happening.
He was always so carful he would never do anything to cause that again. Everything you had witness Miguel work so hard for to keep safe for years. Sleepless nights, returning bruised and beaten, frustrations and constant stress. Was it all for nothing? Is he throwing all his work away?
“This is different.” He turned away from you. “I pushed myself then into an already established life. This time I am creating that life. After all the research we did on you…” He knew that this was going to tear you apart. “I learned that if done right I could have a child from two different universes that won’t disrupt anything.”
It clicked to you then that all the research he was doing on you lately was for this. The research he did on you that time was different, personal, intimate even. As he was testing your DNAs together and seeing the outcomes. He mentioned a child and you were foolish enough to assume he was doing research to see what it would be like if you both had one together. You were giddy even as you watched him work. You had both spoken about having a family together in the past but had been too busy with spider activities. You thought it was a sign of him getting more serious about it, knowing how badly he wanted one. You would have never thought he was doing it to see how he could get back his previous child. The one you could never give him.
You had truly believe that Miguel had recovered from his obsession that his grief gave him. He accidentally destroyed a whole universe needing that life back so badly. You had spent late nights watching him re-watch clips over and over of what he had lost. It slowly stopped once your relationship blossomed with him and you thought he was ready to move on and start new. Why would you have never thought that with such a perfect opportunity presented to him that he wouldn’t drop everything for it.
“I think it’s best that you leave.” He spoke with a soft tone. As if not looking at you any longer will make the problem go away. You couldn’t wrap your mind around how he was just throwing you away like this. As if he wasn’t making you dinner, giving soft kisses, whispering I-love-you’s not so long ago.
You felt too choked up to ask anymore questions. Your throat tight and painful as you held back tears from escaping in-front of Miguel. You just nodded and headed straight out the door not being able to handle another second in that room. Your knees and hands were shaky as you speed walked into the nearest bathroom and let it all out.
It didn’t take long for everyone else to know something had happened. Everyone had gotten used to seeing you and him sitting together at lunch. You would make him cute lunch boxes and everyone would gag a bit while watching the two of you smile together. Some cringing seeing their scary boss being so soft around you. It was a big surprise when Miguel started to eat alone with a bag of take out food and you no where to be seen.
His teams he sent out for missions were all confused when you weren’t assigned to anything. Knowing you were one of the best, one of them slipped out a “Call for Y/N!” In the middle of fighting an anomaly too strong for them. Miguel only looked away.
It wasn’t until a new woman showed up in Miguel’s office with a grip around his waist. That’s when the spider-community realized that this was way worse than they thought.
You on the other hand had spilled everything to Hobie when he caught you that day leaving the bathroom with puffy eyes. You had been staying with him in his universe until you could gather yourself together to return to HQ. You knew you were going to leave for good, but you needed to go back to retrieve all your things. You couldn’t stay with Hobie forever. Worse that you weren’t from there.
You still had some hope that Miguel would come looking for you and tell you that he was all wrong. However almost two months had passed and not a word from him… That’s when you knew it was time you should return to what you once knew.
Stepping into the portal Hobie followed close behind you. He told the few others who were once close to both you and Miguel that you would be visiting. Stepping through the portal you were immediately greeted by Jessica and Peter B Parker.
“Oh, Y/N.” Jess sighed your name sadly while pulling you into a hug. You felt like you wanted to cry all over again. Missing your friends so much. Peter B came behind giving you a hug on the side.
“He’s on a mission right now.” Peter spoke up. “It might be a long one too but don’t waste anytime just incase.”
You nodded pulling away from them. Looking up around the headquarters building faintly smiling at the past memories you had here. You started heading to different areas gathering all the little things you had left around. Hobie had stitched for you a cute backpack with different scraps of patterned clothes and covered in patches of punk band logos but made with hammer space technology. Making it fun for you to fill endless of your things in the bag.
The last stop was in Miguel’s office. Doubt started to fill your mind; maybe he already threw out all of your stuff. Why would he even keep it after all of this? What no one could warn you of was the other person sitting on his platform.
“Hello!” She chirped at you. It felt like the air in your lungs had just been punched out. You knew her too well. From all the photos and videos you had seen peaking over Miguel’s shoulder. However seeing her in person was something you had never expected. You knew it wasn’t the original her but it was a copy paste image for sure.
“Hi.” Was all you managed to choke out. She was beautiful, stunning. You could see clearly now the similar features she shared in another universe with her daughter. The parts that Miguel didn’t have. She kept smiling kindly at you, almost in a graceful way. You started to feel all your insecurities start eating you up from the inside. How could you have ever compared to her.
“What’s your name? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.” Getting off Miguel’s platform she walked closer to you. The room started to feel suffocating.
“Y/N.”
“Well, it’s nice to meet you! It’s nice to meet other girls around here.”
Your eyebrows furrowed as you realized she had no reaction to your name. So Miguel never told her about you… Or that the fact was he was still even legally married to you.
“My boyfriend isn’t here right now but, if you want, I can tell him you stopped by.” She continued as you stayed silent.
“Oh, no it’s okay. I just came in here to get some stuff.” You rushed as you really wanted nothing to do with Miguel at all. You almost worried that he might even get angry knowing you got to speak with her. If he already dislikes you this much you couldn’t even imagine how he would feel if you got in the way of this for him.
You started heading over to the familiar drawers around the room. Grabbing your old hoodies and shirts finding your most comfortable of things here. You treated this place as one of your safe spaces as you used to spend so much time here.
“Oh I didn’t know these were all yours! I was wondering why this was all around. When I came here I wanted to do some spring cleaning but Miguel wouldn’t let me touch anything.” She followed besides you. “It’s so mind blowing seeing all this technology. We don’t have any of this where I live-“ She continue rambling but you started to zone her out. You felt like you were about to have a panic attack any minute. There was one question that kept burning in your mind.
“Are you and Miguel already planning to have a child?” You blurted out. Your eyes widened a bit as you surprised yourself. She let out a loud laugh.
“Oh dear no! We have only been together about 6 months. You must be new around here so you must not know much about us.” She chuckled.
In some cruel way you were hoping she would have said yes. You had that twisted hope of maybe Miguel just keeping her to have a kid and ditching her after he gets Gabriella and run back to you. In reality he was playing the long game, he really meant it when we said he was starting over. “He’s never mentioned kids anyways. I’m not even sure if he’d like them or do well with them.”
With that statement she made you looked at her appalled. Anyone could see in Miguel how good of a father he could be. Just in the way he takes care of the society he built here. You started to realize that she really has been left in the dark. She doesn’t know anything. She probably doesn’t even know that she’s a replacement of another self. You wondered why Miguel was doing this. It felt like he didn’t just toy with you but with her as well. A man you came to love for how selfless he was, to realize now everything was for his own personal gain. Suddenly you started to feel bad for her. You couldn’t dislike her, she wasn’t doing anything wrong and she doesn’t even know.
“I got all my stuff. Nice to meet you.” Was all you could say as you zipped up your bag and turned straight around out of there. Not giving any glance back at her, you left to one of the empty training rooms to recollect your overwhelming thoughts. All of the self healing you tried the past month thrown in the garbage.
It wouldn’t be too soon that news of you going around the building was returned to Lyla. You had cut out all coms while you were gone so she immediately popped up on your watch when she found out.
“AH-“ You jumped as the tiny AI was suddenly in front of your face.
“It’s so wonderful to see you Y/N. Oh my god!”She started. Then she went on rambling about how she knew everything and had seen everything. How she didn’t agree with what was happening and was doing everything she could to convince you to stay. After 5 minutes of her rambling you stopped her to let your emotions out.
“Lyla, Lyla It’s okay. Just stop. It’s all complicated I know, but this didn’t work out. I wished Miguel just cheated on me like all the other fucked up normal men out there. That I walked in on him deep in another random girl. Though painful I could have tried fixing and fighting for us. But instead what I got was him emotionally cheating on me and chase after something he knows I can never give him.” You felt yourself choke up. “I can never ask him to give up what he longs and dreams for just for me to be happy. I lost this battle the moment he laid eyes on her.”
Finding comfort in the AI your husband made. You’ve created a bond with Lyla that Miguel found cute but you knew now this might be the last time you’ll be speaking with her.
“You can give him a family y/n… you guys have been married two years now. I know you’ve both set the thought aside until the multiverse issues are better but you can fight for him. You have to snap him out of his fantasy. He still thinks about you.”
“Lyla you know deep down truly he never just wanted a family. He wanted exactly what he had. What he lost. Which should be impossible but being by his side seeing how insane the multiverse is… Good for him for believing in something so hard he’s found himself even a third chance to do it.”
“I hate that you’re being too kind about this situation.” Lyla paced around you.
“I love him so deeply Lyla. You know that very well. It’s so hard to suddenly hate him. I am angry, but I’m also emotionally drained I can’t do this.” You let out a deep sigh. “I’ve watched him long for this family when we just met. For some stupid reason when things worked out for us I thought I would be enough… When we got engaged and he would spend some days at home with me not even coming to HQ. I thought he was finally moving on not just from his grief and past but from the weight of his work. I saw a bright future for us.”
“You can still have a bright future with him! You moving here gave him a new canon event, another chance at life in his timeline. Here in his own universe! He’s just too obsessed and he’s lost himself in that.” She exclaimed with her hands up.
“Our canon event was our wedding.” Your frowned deepened. “But the universe didn’t say anything else after. It doesn’t say our canon event means we are suppose to live happily together forever I guess.”
“I’m just trying my best to be optimistic. I rooted so hard for you and Miguel when you joined the team. I know you can remember the amount of times I would force you both in rooms.” Lyla recalled.
“And I’m grateful for it… Even if this didn’t work out. I was given precious memories, not just working with you and being on this team but falling in love with Miguel. I know I’m being all depressed and hopeless but I feel like even if I move on I’ll never be able to replace him and find a relationship like this again. However he threw me away so easily and maybe he never valued me as much as I did to him.” You felt your emotions bubble. “I became who I am here. I’m going to miss everyone so much.”
“You can still stay here and work with us.” She edged on.
“I can’t just sit around here begging at his feet to return to me or moping around doing missions while watching him with someone else. I want to hate him so badly. I know he’s your boss and you’re basically hardwired to do everything for him and you’re trying your hardest to fix what you think is his right path. But think of me a little more and how miserable it’ll be. I’m the only one hurting here.”
Lyla paused and stared at you with an almost glossy-eyed look. While she worked she could see the inner term-oil Miguel was hiding and the emptiness he was turning to since trying to start new in the other universe. It just wasn’t her place to hold this conversation and he was the one who needed to get a grip of himself and really think and talk with you. She can’t be the one trying to mend the pieces for both of you together. What Miguel did was so wrong. She knew you were right and she didn’t want to see any more damage be caused to you.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She looked up at you sincerely. “I hate this outcome for you. Not only are you loosing your husband but your home. When was the last time you’ve even been in your universe?”
“Like a year ago for a mission…”
“Exactly! Even if things are over with Miguel, you have all of us here! I wish you could stay. I understand you leaving, I really do. I know a lot of us will try visiting you but I’m tied to Miguel…” You started to see how it clicked for her too that it’s most likely you might not see each other for a long time. “Even if a spider-person is visiting you I can’t just show up on their watch… It’ll go back to him and I know you wouldn’t want that. I know I’m an AI and I can’t hold real emotions but I mean it when I say I’m going to miss you.”
Tears poured down your cheeks as her words hit you. Going back to your universe is going to be a struggle. You have nothing there now. However nothing can compare to the pain of the outcome you’ve had with Miguel, and you needed out of here ASAP. Your mental health getting worse the longer you stay. Even the other spiders you have come to love can’t bring that spark back right now. You needed genuine time for yourself, even if it’s self destructive, instead of putting on a fake smile everyday here.
“Bye, Lyla.” You whispered. She nodded and waved her hand goodbye at you before disappearing. You took your watch off your wrist placing it on a nearby desk. With it you pulled the divorce paperwork out of your pocket neatly sealed and already signed on your half. Opening a portal you took your last glances at the place you spent so many loving memories in.
Tears blurred your vision as you stepped through the portal. Once your legs landed on a rooftop of a building in your dimension, you racked out full sobs falling to your knees.
You were always just the other woman.
—————————————————
Thank you so much for reading!! I know it was a longer one ~
would anyone like a part 2? If so anyone want a angsty or happy ending? I think it’ll be more in Miguel’s perspective as well!
EDIT: You can now read PART 2 here
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angelhound · 2 years
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#i ran into my old boss yesterday at Walgreens and im still thinking about how embarrassingly bad at socializing i was#i went to say hi on purpose bc i hvent seen him in like. years lol and tbh love that little fucked up cowboy grandpa#but i literally. cant make small talk what do u say. i got myself into a situation before preparing a script and i am so silly and goofy.#he asked me whst i was up to and i told him my day plans but he meant like. in general what am i doing w my life#and it was overall. not my best performance. but i DONT KNOW WHY i am Still Thinking about it it does not matter even kind of#he wasnt mean to me we hugged. chatted abt tape. i accidentally said i was there for antibiotics for my skin infection and he was like wtf.#forgot ur not supposed to like be honest with people. thats what i was doing there he was there to buy tape.#ugh anyways this is the extent my severe self embarrassment goes that was a normal interaction and its haunting my every hour that i did it#Wrong#still thinking also abt the time i went to joanns and forgot my card and i had to sit at the checkout waiting for my bank app to load in#silence for 5 minutes#its been like.. a month already it really doesnt matter#no evil hat man is going to come punish me for incorrectly navigating social situations. and yet#idk its so annoying because consciously i dont care i have consciously forgiven myself for being silly. goofy. a little stupid. but its in#my Bones the feeling is in my very bones and i cannot seem to take it out#trying to accept the feeling of shame but its my least favorite feeling of all time ever actually. i am a chronic shame avoider#but my extreme over classification of what is shameful is preventing me from living how i want to so im trying to get over it but it still#Feels the same even though i am on purpose putting myself in those situations now bc i Know its actually fine#i feel very emotionally wack this month because i have been experiencing so many situations. situations i would never have been in previous#ly#mostly i want to kill myself or move to a different state so i never have to see anyone again lol. but i will endure i Guess#how do u let go of what is ingrained in your very bones i been like this since birth#if i told a professional abt this they would give me a fat diagnosis of AvPD but i Also will be actually. hm fixing myself so it doesnt#matter if thats true. i can feel it letting go of me finger by filthy sharp nailed finger#its just really slow progress sometimes. like talking to mr cowboy and instigating a plague i am enduring for days.#i got really good at navigating it without actually fixing it for a long time. the loophole is that if i already know how to do something#correctly i dont need to avoid it. If i am already sure i will do it right. but there are many variables in life that do not allow you to be#sure about things before doing it and that has been the largest source of any stagnation in my life for the last 10 years+#no longer tho. now i do it anyways and consequently have to try not to spiral every day. livin on the edge babe#anyways i am my own evil hat man punisher. and im out of tags
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cyberm4n · 7 months
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NSFW Alphabet for Alastor, Vox and Husk if you don’t mind pretty please!
as you wish :)
NSF/W ALPHABET
feat. alastor, vox, and husk
i wrote this over the span of a week and for a good portion of this i was pretty drunk so my apologies if it gets messy
A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)
alastor would recognize the need for aftercare but like as soon as you're fine and happy he's done with this whole ordeal. especially if you're someone who needs cuddles he will tolerate it until the exact moment you don't need him to.
vox tbh gives the vibes of like, he doesn't entirely think aftercare is necessary so only if he's in a good mood will he settle in and take care of you after.
husk is 100% all in on aftercare. you need water? done. need a towel? he's got them ready. anything you need he has it or will do it. he'd probably be SUPER big on cuddling though but he'd never admit it. he does get sleepy very easily tho.
B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)
alastor doesn't seem the type to have a favorite body part but if he did it would be your neck. sorry.
vox is definitely an ass man 100% he always appreciates some ass
husk i feel would be particular about your hands, idk why he just gives that vibe.
C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)
alastor is a big fan of cumming inside, leaving a mark on you
vox is 50/50 but he usually leans towards facials
husk is a creampier but in a more like intimate way.
D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)
i don't imagine alastor having a dirty secret but i 100% think vox has fuck machines and husk is lowkey into bdsm (the more tamer parts)
E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)
i think in order of most experience to least it would be: vox, husk, alastor. i think alastor would have some experience but he doesn't do that stuff a lot yk, husk has definitely fucked before and knows his way around and i solidly think vox is an absolute sexual deviant and is the most experienced by far.
F= Favorite position
alastor is anything that establishes him a a dominant. thinking like a mating press cause he'd want to see your face but doggy style also works.
vox is a cowgirl enjoyer, or anything where you're on top of him. he likes watching you do the work.
husk probably trends to more vanilla like missionary but i don't think he'd have a favorite. he definitely likes anything where he can see your face though.
G= Goofy (how serious are they)
alastor would be super serious i think, vox is like mostly serious/intense but sometimes he's just in a silly mood and i think husk is always a little bit relaxed about it, unless it's something really intimate then he's being all romantic and shit.
H= Hair (grooming habits)
alastor is well groomed when he anticipates having sex whereas husk is well groomed regardless, and vox i think is the kind to always keep it hairless down there
I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)
alastor is almost always rough but CAN be a little bit softer. same with vox, both of them are doing it with the intention fo dominating you.
husk is 50/50 can be either tbh. in a relationship he'd prly lean more towards something sappy and intimate.
J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)
i don't see alastor masturbating at all tbh. sorry i know that's such a boring hc but like, i just don't see it happening.
vox 100% does, favorite way to blow off steam if you're not there. remember the fuck machines from earlier? yeah dude prly has a plethora of sex toys.
husk does but not often, like a normal amount. if he's feeling in the mood and you're not there or not in the mood as well he does mind it. he'd do the old man huff thing when undoing his pants tho.
K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)
alastor would be pretty into choking and irgasm denial or like dubious consent. some form of cnc or just something that makes him feel like youre at his mercy. i think vox is in a similar boat but he'd be into the mirror kink or whatever it's called where you have sex infront of a mirror. husk would be into somno and overstim i think
L= Location (where they like to get it on)
alastor would be into privacy, given the fact he's like dominating you he wants the space to do so
vox doesn't care but in his office is where the majority of it would happen i think. he seems the type to rage the fuck out at his desk and need his little doll come make him feel better :(
husk is a bedroom guy but on the off chance the hotel is dead quiet you might be able to convince him into something in the parlor
M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)
alastor is domination and owning you, vox is a mixture of possessiveness and genuinely wanting to get off, husk is all in for pleasure and pleasing you
N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)
alastor would never bottom, like ever. it doesn't matter how much you ask that man is never submitting to you
vox i don't think there's much but he's not into being dommed i don't think. it's a very thin line though because like sometimes he'd like to just be a bit mindless and get fucked and pampered more
husk would never do really rough play. anything that involves straight up hurting you is a big no
O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)
alastor would be a giving guy i think. not that he wouldn't enjoy you giving him head but it's a power thing right, when he goes down on you and you're writhing beneath him? it's heaven. skill wise 7/10
vox is a receiving guy, he loves watching you suck him off. i think he'd go down on you if you asked but it's not his first thought yk. skill wise 4-5/10
husk is a 50/50 again but i think he's more partial to receiving. something about you on your knees and taking care of him like that is so mesmerizing. skill wise 8/10
P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)
alastor could last for a really long time tbh despite the powerplay it's also mostly about your pleasure to dominate you. he'd be fast pace wise though
vox is about average for how long he lasts, there's somedays he's a little fast and he'd lowkey get embarrassed if you teased him. he's fast pace wise but it depends on how close he is.
husk is average but it also depends on what you're doing. anytime you give him head he's very quick to cum, and he'd such a fan of it tbh. he'd be a wildcard pace wise, really depends what you want him to do.
Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)
alastor doesn't like quickies at all, he likes time to do this shit properly
vox LOVES quickies idk if i need to elaborate more
husk isn't a fan of quickies but occasionally appreciates them.
R= Risk (do they like to try new things)
alastor is 50/50 if it has anything to do where he has less power then no but if it's just something more he could do then yes!
vox is a cautious yes, but it's very unclear to me whether he'd want to just be an in the moment thing or like discussed before hand. he seems like the kind to randomly pull out a move midsex and gage your reaction
husk i think he leans closer to no, in his opinion the way he's doing things seem great so why complicate it more? but if you really want to try something he will
S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)
alastor can go quite a lot of rounds I think, like each round is around the same, the only reason he's stopping is if he thinks you physically can't take it anymore
vox can go like 2-4 rounds i think but they definitely get shorter as he goes. you're only making it to round 4 if he's had a rough day
husk is like max 2 id say. second round gets a lot shorter and he REALLY relies on you helping him out for both of you to reach climax.
T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)
alastor and vox yes but alastor could lowkey get possessive for no fucking reason. idk why he just seems the type to be a bit condescending especially if you have sex later.
husk is a no, i think. like if the activity required a toy then sure but he definitely doesn't have toys unless you were adamant about using them he wouldn't suggest it. i think he might get insecure he's not making you feel good enough though :(
U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)
alastor teases a lot but he's not a fan of when you tease him. if you do any sort of bratty shit he's 100% putting a swift end to it, but he does like the challenge. he seems like he might be into total denial so it's a dangerous game for you
vox teases and doesn't mind being teased but i think he's the kind to get frustrated if you're being a brat in public
husk is SUCH a tease. like you wouldn't really expect it but it's just little things in public with affection while no one is looking. during the actual act he's not one to tease much though
V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)
alastor grunts fr but like i think that'd be about it. other than little coy comments and some degrading praises he's pretty quiet
vox on the other hand MOANS. if you tease him abt it he will get so fucking mad. but like he's definitely loud asf too.
husk is a groaner but he also moans. he's like a medium level i guess? more on the quiet side, i don't see him getting loud
W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)
alastor really likes marking and will do so. like one minute you're just lying in bed, the next you're on his lap as he digs his teeth into your neck.
vox really likes handjobs idk why but he just does. something about watching you jerk him off gets him going
husk likes making out while fucking. like he's the kind to give you the sloppiest of kisses while he ruts into you.
X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)
skipping cause i feel like it's been answered thoroughly, they all have cocks that vary in size and grooming.
Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)
alastor has a low sex drive, mostly dependant on your needs. if you hc he's asexual then it's mostly on you to get him going or atleast express interest
vox has a higher sex drive but not crazy. dude mostly just likes to destress and fucking is a fun way to do that.
husk is average. but when he's feeling in the mood he makes it pretty clear.
Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)
alastor doesn't sleep after very often, unless you very specifically ask and he feels like you need him.
vox depending on the circumstances goes to sleep pretty quickly, like he'll do some basic aftercare and if he feels like you're fine he's dozing off.
husk is a sleeper but he'd make sure he stays awake long enough to make sure you're fine. since he's big on cuddling he'd be drifting off, murmuring in your ear and asking if you're okay before he finally goes to sleep.
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running-in-the-dark · 8 months
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hm. am I downloading Night Court right now? possibly.
#don't know if I care yet#tbh I have never seen John Larroquette in anything ever (and it will take me a while until I can spell his name without checking 3 times)#before the librarians#so. I don't know. if it's a character specific thing. or if I just think he's cute. or if I think he's cute now but not when he was younger#but I will find out#because honestly it's possible that it's 90% his voice. very good voice. best voice. love it.#hmmm okay no I've just watched a clip on YouTube and he really is just very cute. damn.#annnd. oh noo. I have to check something#oh crap Brent spiner was born in 1949. that means this is. if my brain decides that this is gonna be something. the first time it's someone#older than my dad :') don't like that#but! my dad's dead! so who gives a fuck!#I'm fine. :)#(also damn I'm lucky my dad was so very very old. otherwise that would have happened much sooner)#(guess I'm joking about that now! interesting development)#anyway yeah he cute. though cuter now tbh. might be the belly. idk. this is very confusing and unusual for me#especially. since. the other crush. is not even close to being over. that's not something that happens. and it's already very bad rn. soo.#that should be interesting. maybe I should just forget all about it and not look at him again when I'm done with the show in a few hours#that'd be best I think (doesn't mean I'll listen to my own advice. he is a man and he is cute so. I've already lost)#it's just. I see Jenkins and it's like. JENKINS!! 😍😍😍😍 I'm very weak#and he's so funny 😔#sigh.#just be normal 🤦🤦🤦#i don't know if it makes it better or worse that I'm fully aware that this is most likely happening because I'm in the middle of some sort#of crisis right now and that's how I've always coped but. eh it is what it is#trying to be nicer to this stupid brain and all that#let it have fun looking at an old man it's fine
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daftmooncretin · 3 months
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I’m not sure if this is a hot take or not but oh my god in terms of character depth the show has completely eclipsed the original books. obviously lestat was always an insanely fleshed out character because anne rice was obsessed with him but tbh armand, daniel and louis have been given more depth in this 5 episode run then in what 14 books of the vampire chronicles? i mean armand was already a fascinating character to begin with and assad takes what he’s given from the source material and just creates a whole new being with his performance!! plus the additions to his backstory and relationship with louis add a lot i think. but daniel and louis in the source material? they had none of the original armand potential! louis was a white plantation owner.! plus he was incredibly whiney and i always found him flat and kind of two dimensional in the books. how the writers and jacob anderson managed to create the perfect horrific anomaly that is our louis from that…? fucking astounding to me. and daniel??? book daniel is a fine character, sure. but the layers the show added by letting daniel move on from his first encounter and grow into eric! daniel add so much to his charcter!! ITS THE WAY OLD AND YOUNG DANIEL CONTRAST EACHOTHER COMPLETELY AS INTERVIEWERS YET ARE STILL COMPLETE EMOTIONAL MIRRORS OF EACHOTHER. ITS THE WAY THE DYNAMIC BETWEEN THE VAMPIRES AND 70’s AND PRESENT DANIEL SEEM LIKE OPPOSITES AT FIRST BUT GRADUALLY WE SEE ITS BEEN THE SAME BETWEEN THEM THE WHOLE TIMS. DANIEL IS STILL TERRIFIED AND DANIEL IS STILL BRAVE DESPITE IT. HE’S STILL FUCKING SIMULTANEOUSLY PRISONER AND JUDGE. he’s the idealistic boy high off his mind and he’s the cynical dying old man and he’s both and he’s neither. (can you tell daniel molloy is the most fascinating and tragic character in this show) ITS SUCH A FUCKING FANTASTIC PARALLEL. anyway i love you amc iwtv. you are doing such a good fucking job. also thank you eric. i love you eric. your performance both haunts and captivates me eric.
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princeoftheeternalbog · 10 months
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OP characters reacting to you kissing them and running away :) PART TWO🤸 (here is part 1) established relationship ish.
Some lovely person requested Shanks, Benn, Doffy and Crocodile! I decided to include Shanks, Benn, Crocodile, Jinbei, Mihawk, Rayleigh and Buggy (the old man brigade tbh).
I did try to write for doflamingo but I hate him so much I just couldn't do it😭😭.
Might be suggestive so mdni!
Shanks
Tbh depends on what side you do it.
If it's his left side then he just notes it in his head so he can get pay back later. If its his right side you're done for.
Immediately snatches you as soon as you try to run away, "Oho what do we have here? a thief?", gets right in your face with this cocky ass smirk that kinda makes you want to slap him and also makeout. Also his grip is intense, you will not be able to wiggle out. After he lost his arm he had to be able to make up that strength so yk.
Benn
Side eye. He looks at you so disapprovingly that you just apologise immediately instead of trying to run away...however this was a trap and he uses the opportunity to SNATCH you off the ground and into his arms. Laughs if you scream tbh. He always has to have the last laugh and he plays dirty, and somehow you manage to fall for these tricks almost every time so he enjoys this immensely. He doesn't even care how "unfair" it is, afterall you're so easy to tease so why would he not indulge-
Buggy
Screams in outrage.
"HOW CAN YOU DO THAT AND JUST RUN AWAY" chases after you😞 really aggressively😞.
Tbh it's kinda cute like in hindsight because it makes him really flustered but like in the moment its like WHAT THE FUCK. yk yk. You better hope he doesn't catch you because he will not be merciful in his pay back, though he would never hurt you. Hes just not used to pda and he definitely has cuteness aggression so he just wants to bite you when you're so sweet to him.
Crocodile
You don't get away.
The second you lean in his arm is curling around your waist to hold you still while he puts all his focus into kissing you back, it's literally like one hand cradling your jaw while he licks into your mouth. He doesn't care if anybody else is there, in fact he enjoys it because he gets to show off that you are his partner. After that he'll keep you with him for as long as possible, doesn't care if you have stuff to do and he absolutely will manhandle you if you try to leave😭.
Mihawk
Lets you run away, like he'll follow you but he just walks and it's somehow way scarier than being caught straight away😟. The look he gives you as you start to step back just makes your stomach flip and your knees go weak. He turns it into some horrifying game which is basically just him stalking you like a predator (👁️👁️). Somehow manages to lead you into a dead end even though you're the one in front ???? "Oh dear, it seems you made a wrong turn hm?". Absolutely will stop if you start getting uncomfortable, he just enjoys teasing you.
Jinbei
Really playful and sweet :(. Laughs so loud because he's surprised and just watches you run off. He will absolutely do the same thing back and it's just so unexpected that it usually makes you forget about whatever you were supposed to be doing. Tries to catch you sometimes depending on his mood, like he'll straight up snatch you from the ground so he can hold you in his arms, HES SO CUTE :(. Also I think he blushes very easily even though he's quite cool-headed.
Rayleigh
Another playful one, tries to catch you in like a non scary way and is absolutely willing to make a fool of himself to make you laugh. Though if he thinks you're doing it in order to tease him then he will give the same energy back. Like he won't give you time to run away, he just steps into your little personal bubble and his hands settle on your waist like steel, "Leaving so soon honey?" RAHHH SHUT UP!!!! He's so fine and he knows it and it makes him despicable.
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heartsoji · 2 years
Text
haikyuu boys with an s/o who's really scared of horror movies
pairings: iwaizumi x reader, oikawa x reader, tsukishima x reader, bokuto x reader
a/n: lol this is me i actually cannot with horror like at all
warnings: post-timeskip in iwaizumi's
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iwaizumi hajime
iwaizumi's pretty good with horror movies
occasionally, he'll be a little caught off-guard with a sudden jumpscare, but he's pretty much fine otherwise
now YOU..
you are not ok.
you are screaming, hiding, and tearing up
he honestly doesn't really understand what's so scary about them
since i hc iwaizumi to be a realist, he'd be like
it's a movie. it was filmed. those are actors. it's so obvious none of that stuff could ever happen in real life
still, he understands that you're really scared and tries his best to comfort you
time to put those beefy athletic trainer arms to work
he lets you cling onto them for the whole movie and lets you use then as a stress ball
iwaizumi's a traditional, old school, cheesy hopeless romantic. convince me otherwise.
therefore, his method of comfort usually comes in the form of soothing words and back rubs in his arms
its actually quite nice. he lets you scream into his titties (HE HAS TITTIES AND THEYRE MORE ROCK SOLID THAN REGINA GEORGE'S MOM'S. CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.)
when you're truly scared scared (like heart pounding, sobs racking ur body, you're def gonna get rlly bad nightmares type of scared scared)
he will probs turn it off bc he thinks that no movie ending is worth this much terror
he cares about you a lot, after all. he thinks its slightly amusing when you're screaming your head off at the obviously fake blood, but he would never want you to be fearful for real
rubs your back and whispers soothing words into your ear
"its ok" "i'm right here" "don't worry, i'd protect you if they ever came" type of stuff
after you've calmed down a bit, he'll try to make you laugh
jokes, tickles, anything, really!
he hates seeing you scared. he just wants you to be happy
10/10. marry me sir.
oikawa tooru
lol
hate to break it to you but
tooru is equally as scared of horror movies
you guys have to cuddle up in blanket burritos together and scream at every jumpscare
honestly you both only make it through the movie through sheer willpower
if you're crying, he'll try to comfort you, but tbh he's pretty damn scared himself
however, once the movie is over, he's totally fine
movie forgotten. out of memories. what movie should you guys watch next?
but YOU
you're still crying
you're still really shaken up
you're def gonna have nightmares
he takes that opportunity to be the manly man he is and swoops you up bridal style
he's very charming. he looks at you in the most dazzling, heart-melting way
lol boy u were just crying too stfu
he cuddles you close, and just like iwa, whispers sweet words into your ear
however, unlike iwa, they're much more...childish? playful? how to describe them..
"it'll be ok. your big, strong, boyfriend will protect anything that tries to hurt his princess" "*dramatic gasp* YOU DON'T THINK I'M CAPABLE OF FIGHTING IT OFF BY MYSELF? HOW COULD YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME LIKE THIS? THIS.. THIS IS BETRAYAL" "they don't even look that strong. im sure i could hit a volleyball at one and it would rip into two!"
stuff like that
he would make sure to cuddle you extra close that night
overall, he's pretty fun and is good at making everything seem less serious. 8.5/10!
tsukishima kei
honestly, he's as affected by horror movies at the average guy
he doesn't find them as terrifying as oikawa, but he's definitely not as unaffected as iwaizumi
but you'd never know that
why?
he just hides his emotions really, really well
also he just sometimes focuses on the wall behind the tv and drowns out the voices
he just sits through them and bears them, basically
now, why? why in the world would he do this when he doesn't even enjoy it?
to make fun of you, duh. shouldn't that have been obvious?
when you leap 30ft out of your seat into the air, he laughs at you
he'll even add onto your fear by like grazing your opposite shoulder when you aren't looking and pretending he didn't do it
hes a brat
but honestly, he partially enjoys it when you spring onto him at the jump scares, no matter how much he denies it
as we all know, the boys a lil shy about asking for affection
with horror movies, he gets your affection without even asking for it! yay!
but once the movies over, if you're really shaken up, he'll use his giant beanpole arms and spoon you until you fall asleep
but then he'll be an ass about it the following week
pokes, grabs, jabs you and will say,
"huh? it wasn't me. maybe it was the (wtv villain or ghost or spirit or wtv from the movie)!"
2/10. makes fun of you and makes the movie even scarier tbh. the 2 points r only bc of the comfort he gives after its over.
bokuto koutaro
like most things in life, bokuto goes between two extremes, and never crosses into the middle
he's either having super insane cut shots that go BOOM
OR he's doing awful and is in his emo mode
same thing with this
he either isn't affected by it at all and just laughs
or he screams when the character breathes a lil too heavily
now, if he thinks the movie's not scary at all, he's pretty good to watch with if you're super scared
during the scary parts, he lets you cling onto his beefy arm while he just watches the movie in amusement
like there's a really scary scene where there's a huge jumpscare into the most climatic scene in the movie and you're burying your face into his arm but in the background you just hear:
"HAHAHAHAHA! Y/N Y/N! YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! HE'S...HE'S GETTING CHASED BY THIS GREY LITTLE CHILD! HAHAHAHA ITHIHIHIT'S EYES LOOK LIKE TAPIOCAAHAHAAHA"
"oh the grey little child is smiling! it's kinda cute! why is the main character guy sweating? he looks like me right after a long game"
"why'd the grey little child pull a purple thing out of his throat? what's that? i wonder what it tastes like though..i think it would be a thick gummy texture, but maybe a little gooey on the inside. definitely grape-flavored. the really sweet artificial good one. oh.. now i want a gummy!"
yeah
he definitely makes it less scary because he makes all the scary stuff seem really stupid
honestly pretty nice. you might not get as many nightmares because of him
now
when he's terrified, he's more terrified than you
*main character sneezes* "AHHHHHHH"
think oikawa x 800
mhm
honestly, you kind of have to take the comfort role even though you're deathly afraid of horror movies
"kou, he's just walking. its ok."
honestly he makes it seem less scary like this too because it forces you to see why the movie isn't actually that scary because you have to find out the reasons to comfort him
8.7/10. a sweetie
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centipedelightning · 11 months
Note
Hi there I was wondering how you think the skeleboys (especially the papyrus's) would fel about a really tall S/O like I'm talking like just a little under 8 feet tall (they could be a monster if that helps). Established romantic relationship.
(Underfell, undertale, underswap plus dealers' choice again if you want :D)
PS: Love your work. You're totally underrated
skdjgdskj This is so fun. and thank you!! I'm glad you like my stuff!! tbh I think I'm average rated when you consider the fact that I never fucking post dkfghkg. I don't want to talk about how old this request is...
| UT/UF/US x Super Tall!gn!Reader || Romantic || fluff |
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Sans
Listen
He's already a pretty short guy.
So he's used to being towered over.
But eight feet?? Yeah, you aren't getting away with it.
Sans is standing on Everything to be at eye level with you.
Everything.
I hope you like being big spoon because that is what you will be for the rest of forever.
Damn near every time he wants to kiss you, he will make a joke about climbing a tree/mountain/skyscraper.
The only way to shut him up is to lean down and kiss him. Please do he's not afraid to reuse old material and that's when it gets super painful to listen to.
The lazybones is never going to reach for anything again. Ever.
Papyrus
He's already used to being shorter than a number of other Monsters, so he doesn't think too much of it.
If you were a human he would make a surprised comment about how he didn't know humans could get so tall, but that would be the extent of it.
He actually likes when you have to lean down to kiss him. It makes him fluttery because he is the one that usually has to stoop down.
He loves dancing around with you! For similar reasons to the kissing thing, he's usually the one to lead because he's usually taller, so your relationship is a welcome change.
If you ever dare to rest your arm on his head or noogie him he will a) complain loudly and b) go apologize to Sans because he's "NEVER REALIZED THE STRUGGLES OF BEING SO SHORT".
Red
This guy has a complex okay.
Instead of joking with your height, he'll joke against it.
i.e. he will do whatever he can to jokingly treat you like you are short.
If you are sitting down anywhere, Red is gonna drag a stool or chair over, get up on it, and joke about you being short.
Don't you dare hit your head on a doorframe you will never hear the end of it.
Shameless in just dragging you down to his level when he wants a kiss.
You two can go to bed in any cuddling position you want, you're more than likely going to wake up with Red koala bear-ed to your side.
Good luck getting out of there by the way; his grip strength is surprisingly intense.
Edge
In a similar vein to Papyrus, Edge is used to people being taller than him. He's just also whiny about it.
He'll try to "prove himself" in every little way he can regardless of how annoying it might be. Tall shelf? Prepare to get shoved out of the way so Edge can get it for you despite the fact that you are significantly taller.
He won't say it but he does appreciate not needing to hunch over to talk to people.
He will say that he doesn't like looking up so far. He'll say it constantly.
Lovesss clothing shopping with you. The man has taste and money. You will never struggle for well-fitted, good-looking clothes.
He has his besties at the tailors that will soon become your besties as well. The hottest power couple ever truly.
Dogamy and Dogaressa look out.
Blue
So fine. So, so fine.
On his best behaviour really!
Blue pulls the same "prove he's capable by doing tall things for you" shtick Edge does but he's completely unaware he's doing it.
If you say you're gonna get up and get a glass of water, he's already in the kitchen telling you he's got it. Not a setup if you're more lazily-inclined.
Do you treasure your teeth? I hope not.
He will jump up to kiss you and by god can that man put some oomph into a jump.
If he starts looking at you with a suspicious glint in his eyelight do yourself a favour and just lean down.
Stretch
Little spoons. That's his number one activity with you.
Due to his height, Stretch can't usually be the person who gets cuddled vs. does the cuddling so you are very exciting for him.
Love love loves rotting on the couch with you.
If you're a human, his favorite spot is to lay on your chest and doze while listening to your heartbeat.
If you're a Monster, it's more in the center of your sternum to listen to the magical buzz of your soul.
You will experience more pranks than you think you can bear. You know the plastic wrap across a doorframe prank? Yeah.
You have been lured into a false sense of confidence because if Stretch is tall, he wouldn't possibly pull that kind of bullshit on you right? He would have to trip his own trap right?
Don't underestimate Monster building codes. Those doorways are Tall. He has room.
After a certain point, you learn to just duck through every doorway.
It doesn't help.
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noemilivv · 7 months
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Hi 👋,
If you're still taking requests, I absolutely loved the most recent one you did with Lucifer, Adam and Vox proposing and marrying their s/o.
If possible could you do one similar to that but for Husk and Alastor?
If not, it's totally cool and I'm loving your work 😊
hellooo, dw i’m still taking requests haha, yeah i can do that for you!! the first part was undeniably fun to write so obviously i’ll do it again for ya haha
Warnings: None(?)
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Alastor Proposal + Wedding Headcanons
Alastor never really knew what love truly felt like, until he met you, from that alone — he knew you were the one
His proposal was simple, but still very gentlemanly, his shadows were his band, playing some of your shared favorite songs, and Alastor stood in a different suit than the one he normally wears, a black version with a red streak instead of the white line that goes down the collar
He stood in the center of your room in the hotel, awaiting for you to get back from work, with a bouquet of spider lilies in his hands and a ring box in his pocket.
When you arrive, he has a soft and gentle smile on his face, in contrast to the big grin he usually shows, he didn’t feel vulnerable or at risk with you, so he could wind down with you
He hands you the bouquet and gets down on one knee, taking your ring out of the box, holding it to you, as his other hand takes yours in his and kisses the back of it
“My dearest and truest love, you have made me feel more alive than I ever have, even in my years on Earth.” He started, his radio affect softer than you’ve ever heard it, it’s unlike him, given he usually has a more cheery tone.
“You have showed me what love truly feels like, what in feels like in here —” He said, putting a hand to his heart, “That being said, would you make me the happiest man in Hell and be my lawfully wedded spouse?”
You and Alastor have a wedding almost immediately, thanks to his magic staff.
The ceremony is like any other, other than the fact your soon-to-be husband has a massive fucking grin on his face that did not falter the whole time, other than when you came down the isle, and it seemed to inch up his face more.
When it came to the kiss, he does turn you both around as he does not enjoy displaying affection infront of others, but he also won’t break tradition, so…
The reception is nowhere near boring, he knows how to have a good time, there’s excitable jazz music that has a good chunk of guests swaying and moving their feet
He also may or may not freak out some family members of yours…but that’s okay!
He also does not wish to be in wedding photos, due to his opinions on modern cameras and tech, but will for you, and either way, he knows his grin fucks up the photos in contrast to your beauty so he doesn’t really see the point tbh — but he’ll most likely make you guys use an old camera for effect
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Husk Proposal + Wedding
Headcanons
Husk genuinely did not care to get married, well, he would be fine if you did, but he was content the way you both were, but he knew how much of a romantic you were so…
Quite frankly, he probably had the laziest proposal out of everyone I’ve written for for this, while you guys were laying in bed, bitch asked you if you would ever wanna get married and proceeded to basically chuck the ring box at you.
You and Husk were in your shared bed. It was late, you were just about to doze off for the night, until you heard Husk’s gruff voice pipe up.
“I have a question for ya.” He said, staring at the ceiling with you on his furry chest. “And that is?” you ask, popping your head up in curiosity,
“Would you ever wanna get married?” He asked, looking down at you, a soft and subtle smirked played on his lips. “Oh!- Uh, probably!” You answered, a bit thrown off by the question.
“‘Kay, great.” Husk muttered, plopping the ring box in between you two. “Husk, what the fu-”
Yeah before you could finish he was already asleep 😛
Husk mainly leaves wedding planning to you, not cause he’s a dick, but it’s just not his thing, he will help out when need be though
At the ceremony, Husk is holding back a couple tears, only a few though!
He never saw himself as the sentimental type, and he knows he didn’t really have the desire to do this in the first place, but now? He knows he made the right choice, even if it was at 2 in the morning.
The reception is chill, it’s kinda just sitting around and chatting, and yes there’s a bar, and Husk is pissed he can’t work it.
There’s chill jazz music in the back, but it’s not like Alastor’s where it had people swaying, it was more soothing, and it wasn’t like Adam’s where people were absolutely bopping to music either
You guys still don’t know if you’re having a honeymoon, Husk is still way too tired and way too hungover to make that decision.
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