#he is Literally just famous for being both annoying And a cockroach!!!!

[talentforlying]

what fascinates me about constantine is that he is well-known for being a very skilled and powerful magus, but at the same time, most of his fellow magic users in the world of hellblazer consider his particular brand of magic to be cheap as sin; one of his more popular monikers is even "the gutter mage". and a lot of it has to do with the way that maguses in hellblazer tend to actively create their own forms of magic, tailored to their strengths.

magic in hellblazer is constantly being reinvented by its users, to the point where some people have created entire subfields that had never been considered before — like ritchie simpson inventing quantum magic, being able to interface with technology in astral form; like map being able to symbiotically draw on the energy of the entire city of london in a way that no other mage Has ever or Will ever be able to duplicate. those two are some of the most powerful magic-users in that entire universe, solely because of their ability to invent. imagination, diligence, and intention are the cornerstones of hellblazer's magic system.

and then you have john constantine, who from the perspective of most of the older folks in the magic community just . . . kinda trails around after them, picking up their bread crumbs. his kit of choice are rituals and spells and artifacts and varieties of magic that already exist, rather than building his own. sure, he's innovative with how he uses them, but there's this general air of like: how the fuck did you accumulate a reputation that puts you in the ranking with all these "Actually Authentic" maguses for being the equivalent of a walking, talking dumpster of other people's used-up skills???

( the trick is: he's fucking worked for it. he's a survivor. he has a reputation as one of the most powerful magic-users because he is one of the most tenacious, the most innovative, and the most ruthless. he's able to be the most tenacious-innovative-ruthless because he doesn't turn tail and run at the first threat to his life. people like map, like clarice sackville, like nathan arcane, they feel that they are crucial to the continued existence of magic and need to stay alive for the greater good of the world, and that's why they will fail where constantine will succeed (and also why they'll call him to do the dirty work for them): because he has absolutely no need to preserve himself or safeguard his skillset beyond his basic human desire to live. because he has no magic that is unique to him, nothing that would go extinct if he did first. because as far as the forward march of magical progress goes, in the eyes of the magic community and himself, he contributes nothing that necessitates his future survival, and he is fucking fine with that, because he's the one who actually helps people. )

[culebratia]

Ahh, a new blog to love! Could I get some dating headcanons for Pennywise (1990) (maybe Beetlejuice and Carrie White as well, I don't know if you have a character limit ^^°)

Hi! My character limit is three people for long headcanons, but if it’s something short like “how tall are they” or something, I can go up to fifteen characters. Beetlejuice and Carrie are much-loved characters in my books, so I’d love to write for them! To be completely honest, I’m somewhat upset with myself because only a few hours ago did I finish writing the whole request up, only for it to be completely deleted off of my computer, so I just had to re-write it all up! How annoying is that??

PENNYWISE (1990) x gender-neutral!reader

* You were only a child when you had met him, and man was he an ass ever since then. He would go out of his way to make it known that you were never going to escape him, and by that I mean, he would absolutely break down your walls and scare the living shit out of you when you least expected it. You were his favorite plaything as he described it, his favorite little kiddie which he’d always go to when he needed a good laugh.

* When you had become an adult, that is, he knew straight away. Papa Penny had never really taken much notice of the change in time, how many years it’s been since he last slept, etc, etc, but as soon as he took notice of your change in smell, he had only just began to reflect on how much time has truly passed. Man, he thought, this sucks. There was no gradual change, nothing of the sort. The day prior you smelled sweet and radiated a childish nature like none other, but as soon as the clock struck midnight, you were suddenly bitter and disgusting. How come you had to change so soon?

* While he watched you during your party celebrations, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of wonder through his chest. It was still so childish. The party was so child-like. You were an adult now, but you still acted just like you did before. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all? 

* When you first became an item, it was an odd turn of events. You never truly felt at ease with him like you did with everyone else you dated, whether or not it was because of the bad experiences you’ve had with him throughout your life or because the fact that he’s quite literally an eldrich alien arachnid in the form of a clown, you honestly didn’t know. But what you did know was that sometimes, when he came up behind you and captured you in a hug, sometimes, and only sometimes, did you feel at ease. Like nothing else was going to harm you, and that nothing else mattered.

* Now that you’re an adult, it’s harder to scare you like he used to. Yeah, he understands that you honestly haven’t really changed much other than your smell, but it’s always been hard for him to form something scary in the presence of adults. So since he can’t really scare you very much, he tends to stick with annoying you, and I mean, annoying you. Poking, prodding, teasing, all of it is valid when he’s bored and wanting to form an amusing reaction out of you. Sometimes he actually doesn’t realise he’s doing it, it just comes naturally to him now.

* Overall, cute clown boyfriend = an “eh” on the boyfriend scale. He’s a good boyfriend, believe me, he really is, he coos and holds you in his arms when you’re upset, he reminisces good memories with you with a genuine smile on his face, sometimes you’ll even  a sleepy “I love you” from the guy when he’s in bed, but for God’s sake, he’s an alien. He doesn’t really understand much of the point in all of this, he loves you, yes, but he’ll never stop being an ass till the day you die. 

BEETLEJUICE x gender-neutral!reader

* This guy – wow, this guy is one kooky guy. Eccentric, unusual, strange, quirky, nutty, offbeat, another Thesaurus.com word, he’s basically the pure epitome of a mad man. That is, if mad men were dead and ate cockroaches whenever they saw fit. He loves his work, absolutely adores it. Communicating with the living? Check. Scaring the living? Check. Killing the living? Double-check. That’s how he met you, so now he loves it even more.

* You were your average adult fresh from college. You had brought yourself a small little estate with the money your parents left you, and decided to spruce up the decor a little bit to make it more ‘you’.  The dead couple living alongside you were not very happy with that. No! Don’t touch that! That’s an antique! Why are you removing my rug? That was from my grandma! WHY HAVE YOU GOT SO MUCH CACTI?! 

* Beetlejuice was more than happy to help with their little problem, especially since their little problem happened to be a cute kid he happened to be interested in. He was very shocked to learn that you weren’t scared easy, even after his snake form erupted from the toilet you had just called an animal helpline and went straight on your way! He likes your style though, cacti really are the best type of plant life in existence. He’d have a cactus if he could.

* You found out early on in the relationship that this guy was very into cheesy B movies, mainly Killer Klowns from Outer Space. He’d jam to the Dickies’ song of it for hours and hours without any sign of stopping. It would get worrying sometimes.

* Intimacy is a must in a relationship with Beetlejuice. It doesn’t have to be sexual, not at all, he just likes any type of physical contact to be completely honest. Kisses, hugs, hand-holding, as long as he gets to act his usual crazy way around you while doing it, it’ll make him as happy as pie.

* Thank god the dead couple ended up leaving, they’d be absolutely appalled with the way the house looks now!

CARRIE WHITE x female!reader

* Carrie White is an absolutely stunning individual. Those long, flowing locks of golden blonde hair, that fair, creamy skin, those luscious pink lips, she could very easily be a fashion model without even trying. It’s just her reclusive nature that brings her down. But of course she’s like this, her mother is an absolute hag of a woman. A doormat will always be a doormat if you keep walking all over it, all Carrie needs is a little push.

* When this beautiful, loving woman came into Carrie’s life, she had no clue what to do. You were so unnecessarily kind and caring! She had never really had this sort of treatment other than from people who wished something other, but, from what she can tell, the only thing you genuinely want out of her is her happiness and presence in your life. 

* You both loved to go on sleepovers together, it gave Carrie a sense of normality in her life. Whether it be staying up carefree around your house until late, or whether it be sleeping at 9PM on edge at her house, it didn’t really matter, because she was so, so happy that she had someone with her in these times, even if her mother called that person a “raging whore”. You gave her such a confidence boost just by being around her.

* When you had both expressed each other’s feelings to one-another, it had been at one of your famous sleepovers. Carrie had come round your house and you were exchanging secrets. You looked into each other’s eyes and before you knew it, you were both locking lips and gently caressing the jaw line of each other’s faces. Who would’ve guessed?

* Her mother knew nothing of your relationship with each other,  and everyone planned to keep it that way. Your friends knew, your family knew, the dog knew, but nobody would dare utter a word to Ms White, she’d have more than a word or two to say to the both of you. That’s why Carrie ended up sneaking out of the house when going to prom with you. Yeah, her dress got a little bit ripped when getting caught on the tree, but as long as she ended up being there with you, she cared little about her silly dress.

* Years later and all was well. Ms White was out of the picture, Carrie had gained a whole group friends, and you were both engaged. If this wasn’t paradise, then who knows what it truly is?

[kpopfic-recs]

♡ nct twitter au rec masterlist ♡

Note: If you are unable to view the formatting on the mobile app, switch to reading on your mobile browser

(Last update 4/1/20)

Key: Fluff (❀) Angst (☆) Smut (☾) Personal Favorite (♡) Completed Series (✓) Incomplete Series (✗)

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Markhyuck

[untitled] by daehwient II ❀ ✓

Summary: Donghyuck starts getting weird messages from a number already saved in his phone as “Soulmate.”

Length of story: 58 parts

Warnings: None

[untitled] by 127vevos II ❀ ✓

Summary: Donghyuck runs a secret fan account for Mark and Mark's apparently not that dumb.

Length of story: 59 parts

Warnings: None

[untitled] by neoulture II ❀ ✓

Summary: Mark is a photographer that travels the world and Donghyuck is just getting on a plane to get away for a summer.

Length of story: 76 parts

Warnings: None

[untitled] by dreamysuns II ❀ ☆ ✓

Summary: Twitter stan Lee Donghyuck wakes up in an alternate universe where he’s a member of his favorite band.

Length of story: 149 parts

Warnings: None

[untitled] by hyuckieee II ❀ ✓

Summary: Donghyuck confesses to his crush, Wong Yukhei, using song lyrics. The catch? It was the wrong number.

Length of story: 156 parts

Warnings: None

[untitled] by hyuckios II ❀ ☆ ♡ ✓

Summary: Where Mark has grown up knowing that Santa Claus is just make believe, but his perspective begins to change the night he comes home to find a boy with pointy ears bouncing around his kitchen, and there’s no way that’s a fucking Christmas elf.

Length of story: 158 parts

Warnings: Drinking, drugs, violence

[untitled] by hyuckieee II ❀ ☆ ✓

Summary: Donghyuck and Mark are enemies at Hogwarts, but a potion accident one day turns Donghyuck into a cute child who only clings onto Mark (because he was the first person he saw after the event) for a week. But when Donghyuck is back to normal it’s suddenly hard for Mark to treat him as usual. (Harry Potter!AU)

Length of story: 174 parts

Warnings: Bullying

[untitled] by seokmykiss II ❀ ☆ ♡ ✓

Summary: Mark is a famous rapper who happens to stumble across a beauty guru, Donghyuck, on Instagram. They quickly befriend each other, but there’s something the public doesn’t know about Donghyuck: he’s deaf. (Sequel is here, but discontinued)

Length of story: 199 parts (includes sequel)

Warnings: Mentions of abusive relationship

[untitled] by hyuckios II ❀ ☆ ♡ ✓

Summary: In a world where technology is advancing, Mark begins to hate the way his eyes change color according to his emotions, and now he has to worry about his hair always standing up - cause his new roomie at the research facility is literally full of static electricity.

Length of story: 215 parts

Warnings: Experimentation (?), kidnapping

[untitled] by hyuckoi II ❀ ☆ ✓

Summary: Donghyuck is the king of nerds and the president of the science team at school and Mark is the captain of the basketball team and they hate each other's guts until something really unexpected happens the same day of the decathlon and basketball finals. (HSM!AU) (Sequel is here)

Length of story: 458 parts (includes sequel)

Warnings: Drinking

watchdog by hyuckios II ❀ ☆ ♡ ✓

Summary: President’s son and certified troublemaker Lee Donghyuck hates every aspect of his private lifestyle, just until he meets Mark Lee: his newly hired watchdog, who drinks too much coffee and doesn’t smile very often, and yup, Donghyuck is intrigued. (Second and third installments)

Length of story: 486 parts (includes additional installments)

Warnings: Underage drinking, suggestive content

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Yuwin 

[untitled] by eyeronicmuch II ❀ ☆ ✓

Summary: Yuta is a famous yet deaf piano prodigy and Sicheng is a time traveler.

Length of story: 58 parts

Warnings: None

[untitled] by eyeronicmuch II ❀ ✓

Summary: Yuta is a devil and Sicheng is an angel, who dislike each other but they both get assigned to watch over a human child.

Length of story: 145 parts

Warnings: None

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Johnten

  [untitled] by ritokki (+ Dojae, Luwoo, 2Tae, Markhyuck & Yuwin) II ❀ ☆ ♡ ✓

  Summary: Johnny is an angsty writer that doesn’t believe in soulmates. Ten has an ink allergy and hates the medical room. “Hi Mr. Soulmate, can you stop? I have an ink allergy.” (In which your soulmate writes on their skin and it appears on yours.) (Dojae spin-off, Luwoo spinoff, 2Tae spinoff)

Length of story: 972 parts (includes spin-offs)

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, bullying, death, drugs & sex, drinking, light violence

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Johnyong

[untitled] by yeehawlix II ❀ ✓

Summary: Where Taeyong was turned into a roach a year ago and has had to live as one since then and Johnny just happened to recently move to Taeyong’s old apartment where he still lives but as a cockroach.

Length of story: 54 parts

Warnings: Sexual content

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Johnjae

[untitled] by eyeronicmuch II ❀ ♡ ✓

Summary: Johnny and Jaehyun are neighbours, and Jaehyun owns a fat cat. Oh, and also it can talk.

Length of story: 54 parts

Warnings: None

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Nohyuck

[untitled] by hyuckieee II ❀ ☆ ✓

Summary: Jeno and Donghyuck are enemies. Determined to annoy him to the fullest, Donghyuck spams Jeno’s number, causing him to block Donghyuck. Undeterred, Donghyuck uses Jeno’s number as a rant space. What happens when Jeno unblocks him — or didn’t really block him in the first place?

Length of story: 151 parts

Warnings: None

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Renhyuck

[untitled] by eyeronicmuch II ❀ ✓

Summary: Renjun is a conspiracy theorist trying to deduct unsolved theories and cases about aliens and Donghyuck is his sidekick, who is an alien.

Length of story: 100 parts

Warnings: None

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Johndo

[untitled] by yeehawlix II ❀ ✓

Summary: In which Johnny owns a Twitter account where he posts his dog— Nyoom’s pictures and Doyoung is a stressed singer who just wants to play with said dog. But one day after Johnny posts a face reveal, maybe Doyoung wants more than to play with Nyoom.

Length of story: 57 parts

Warnings: Sexual content

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Luwin

[untitled] by eyeronicmuch II ❀ ✓

Summary: Yukhei is a rather peculiar chef and Sicheng is a poor victim of his creations. Chaos ensues.

Length of story: 81 parts

Warnings: Vomit

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Jaesung

[untitled] by amaryllaus (+ Markren) II ❀ ☆ ✓

Summary: Jisung works at the local movie theater. One day he sees a crying Jaemin in an empty theater and Jisung who just wants to go home offers free popcorn to him. Ever since then Jaemin would talk to him everyday.

Length of story: 128 parts

Warnings: Toxic relationship

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Nahyuck

[untitled] by hyuckieee II ❀ ☆

Summary: Bad boy Jaemin and cold guy Donghyuck get roped into the K-Drama world because the Higher Ups are done with them treating love like shit. What better way to make sure they learn their lesson than being trapped in a world full of love cliches?

Length of story: 154 parts

Warnings: None

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Markhyuckhei

[untitled] by hyuckieee II ❀ ✓

Summary: Donghyuck is a Taeyong fanboy who rants about his problems in Taeyong’s DMs, not expecting him to open them. It all changes when Donghyuck mentions a boy’s name and suddenly, Taeyong is invested (or in which they become bffs as Taeyong tries to help Donghyuck with his love life).

Length of story: 117 parts

Warnings: None

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Doyuil 

[untitled] by eyeronicmuch II ❀ ✓

Summary: Yuta and Doyoung drunkenly dress up as a bus and try to cross a vehicle only bridge at 4 AM and Taeil is the police officer who arrests them.

Length of story: 57 parts

Warnings: Drinking

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Multiple Pairings

[untitled] by hyuckieee (Donghyuck x Renjun, Jeno, Jaemin & Lucas) II ❀ ☆ ✓

Summary: Donghyuck is tired of his members not showing him any affection unless he initiates it first so he decides to take a short break, oblivious of the complete and utter chaos that will ensue.

Length of story: 139 parts

Warnings: None

[purplesurveys]

740

‘Does your best friend bother you more than anyone else? This is so weird. Someone wouldn’t be my best friend if all they did was annoy me. If one of my best friends did start to bother me with anything they’re doing, we’re close enough for me to comfortably call them out on it. Who is your best friend? Angela and Gab. Do you like someone right now? A lot more than that at this point. Do you even think you stand a chance with this person? I’ve been with them a handful of years now, so yes. Do you consider yourself truly happy? Not truly. I can generally keep myself happy but I’ll sometimes have days where I’m anxious, angry, hurt, confused, lost, or all of the above. It’s a work in progress.

How often do you cry? I want to say at least once a week; that's pretty accurate. Are you emotional? Yes. What is the worst thing you would do for 10 million dollars? I find these questions so stressful to think about lol. Just give me scenarios to do for $10 million and I’ll tell you if I’m willing to do it. Have you ever had/do you have an eating disorder? [trigger warning] No. But when my depression was at its roughest a part of me wanted to try adding self-starvation to the other methods I was already using to harm myself at the time. Didn’t really work out. Have you ever cut/burned yourself intentionally? Cut, yes. Burned, technically yes, but I didn’t know it would hurt me. When I was 7 I thought I had some sort of invincibility so I placed a finger on a clothes iron that was plugged in at the time. So I kinda did it on purpose, but not because I wanted to burn myself lol? If that makes sense? What do you think of people that do? Hope that they have people around them who care for them and can help them pull themselves out of that hole. What's your opinion on drugs? Have you ever done any? Scary, especially the hard drugs. I’ve seen Breaking Bad, Trainspotting, and Requiem for a Dream to know not to try them lol. I’ve only had milder ones like caffeine, nicotine, and painkillers. Have you ever noticed the hidden adut jokes inside of kid shows/movies? When I encounter the episodes these days, yeah I would notice them. When I was a kid they used to be just sentences that didn’t make sense to me. Do you want to be famous? Why? I’m not opposed to it. I wanna be able to travel places, get freebies, and afford a lot of nice clothes, but I’m also not willing to do absolutely anything or lose who I am just to get famous.

Do you sin often? I don’t really think of that anymore. What are your views on God? Nope. What do you think happens after you die? I go to sleep permanently, which for me is the most peaceful way to think of death. Sometimes if I’m feeling a little alone or helpless, it’s just as comforting to also think of the possibility of reuniting with my lost loved ones when I die, like my lolo or the great-grandparents I never met. Are you afraid to die? I’m afraid of dying painfully, if anything. Like I don’t want to be stuck in a burning room or have a ceiling collapse on me, you know? If you had the chance, would you want to know the date of your death? Yes. Have you ever felt that you weren't good enough? Of course. Do you have any siblings? If so, are you jealous of them? Yes. I’m not jealous/envious of Nina, but I do sometimes wish I had a talent that was as tangible and recognizable as hers – she’s an artist and an editor, and very good ones. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Why or why not? I mean we don’t hate each other, but I wouldn’t go running to their arms if I had a problem. We have a more buddy-type relationship.

Are you always wanting more? Yep, I’m quite materialistic. Do you make good first impressions? You’d have to ask the people I’ve ever met. I hope I do, though. Do you feel bad for obese people, or do you just laugh? I am so unimpressed with this question.  What would you do if you were obese? Idk, it would depend on the mindset I have once I’m at that point. Are you ashamed of your past? Not ashamed. I just wish it had a lot more happier days. Do you miss your past? No. Do you have a song lyric that describes where you are in life right now? Ain’t it fuuuuun living in the real wooooorld ain’t it goooood being all alooooone Who are you closest to in your family? In my immediate family, it’s probably my sister. But generally speaking, it’s my eldest first cousin on my mom’s side. Do you ever open up to people? Yes, but I’m also private. Like I wouldn’t just share my life story with anyone - you have to ask about it and know which questions to ask. Do you consider yourself guarded? Why or why not? Sure. I’ve had shitty people come in and go out of my life throughout the years. Are you an honest person? I guess. Do you like animals? Love them, except cockroaches and flying cockroaches.

Do you think doctors prescribe medicine too often? I...don’t really have an opinion lol and I don’t know if I should. I don’t know the first thing about medical ethics. Are you a control freak? In a group setting, mostly yep. Do you enjoy getting drunk, or do you feel like you're losing all control? I like getting drunk but only until a certain point, i.e. when I feel giddy enough to socialize with strangers or start dancing. I’ve had a couple of bad experiences from drinking too much and it’s always so embarrassing the day after. What do you think happens when you go into a coma? I’ve read accounts on Reddit from people who used to be in one and the stories vary. Some stayed passed out through the whole thing, others dreamt in a lot of vibrant colors, others had dreams that they considered metaphors for dying, others were a little aware of what was happening or being said around them. Do you think the internet is dangerous? I know it is, lmao.

Name all the social networking sites you use: Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, YouTube, Linkedin. I re-installed Snapchat recently but I don’t use it for social media. Do you think anyone truly knows who you really are? My best friends do, in different ways. Have you ever given anyone the chance to really get to know you? Yes. Do you block people out of your life when they start to get too close? No. It’s very rare that that gets to happen so when it does, I keep them around. Who do you think has the most pressure to be good-looking; guys or girls? I think both experience a lot of pressure in very different ways. It’s not a contest. Do you care what impression you make on people? Kinda, especially if they make the wrong one lmao. Do you think TV is too much of an influence on today’s youth? If anything today’s TV has a lot of responsible representation from sexual consent and coming out and mental health to POCs, which gives off a suuuuper positive influence to kids and young teens these days who now feel like they can see themselves in the characters they meet and scenarios they see. Racism, sexism, homophobia, and all the other -isms and -phobias never get to fly by in this age anymore and that’s a great thing too. Just look at Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Sex Education, Itaewon Class, and I wanna say The Good Place? but I’ve never seen it. What do you think people would do if all the computers crashed? I honestly think that would be the last straw that would break the camel’s back for people to start chaotically freaking out lol. There’s too much happening as it is. Honestly, do you say racist things? Filipinos in general are resentful towards mainland Chinese but that’s because they have bullied us for so long, they’ve literally shit on our historical parks, they keep buying our lands, they claim our seas, and they belittle and mistreat Filipinos, especially the ones who work as OFWs in China. We wouldn’t be as racist if most of them didn’t act like such assholes to begin with. Personally, I don’t verbally say racist stuff but I will judge mainland Chinese in my head if I come across them or hear another incident of them misbehaving. Do your parents put way too much pressure on you? No, which I’m quite grateful for. They just let me do my thing, they ask me what jobs I want without hinting what they want for me, they let me fantasize about my dream purchases once I have a salary without guilt-tripping me over letting them have a share of my money, that kind of stuff. Has anyone you loved ever died? Two big people in my life. Do you think people overreact when their pets die? Not at all. Pets are family, and everyone’s reactions are valid. I remember when Lorde’s dog died and people were either 1) making fun of her and called her overreacting when she said she was gonna be unable to release new music for the meantime, or 2) stoked that her new music is probably gonna be sad and emotional because of her dog’s death, and I thought both were terrible. Do you know who you are, or what you want to become? I’m getting there, don’t pressure me lmfao. Do you have your future mapped out? Or are you just taking it day by day? Day by day. I have a good big picture planned out, but I also like living in the now. What are you going to do now? I dunno if I want to take another survey or watch YouTube videos now. But directly after hitting post on this I’ll definitely take another sip of my coffee and give my dog cuddles for a few minutes since he just woke up from his nap.

[flatsuke]

Just for fun: The 2nd Generation Bidders

Ok, so I know the substories with the bidders and their children were released already, but I’ve had these kids in my head waaaay before the stories came out lmfao

A continuation of this post.

This is pretty self-indulgent so lol

edit: I added Inui’s and Samejima’s kids!!

@alolan-lillie​ you said you were interested in my ocs :^D

Eisuke:

Kazuma (19)

Eisuke’s son and Naoko’s twin brother. Tatsuya’s best friend.

Personality: Just like his father, he’s overbearing and self-assured. He’s also meticulous to a fault. When it comes to the people he cares about, he gets overprotective, almost unbearably so. He tries to act as the big brother figure for the rest of the group, but most of them see him as the resident Mom Friend™ because of his anal-retentive personality. He has a childish competitive side.

Background: He’s the next heir to the Ichinomiya Group, but he secretly doesn’t want to be next in line. He’s only doing it so Naoko won’t have to worry about anything. Deep down, he’s actually insecure about being the successor, but he tries to hide it. Though he respects Eisuke as a businessman, he somewhat resents him for not being the best father and husband. 

Likes: Being organized, iced coffee, soap operas, cooking

Dislikes: Being compared to his father, bad smells, spicy food, animals that shed fur

Naoko (19)

Eisuke’s daughter and Kazuma’s twin sister. Ema’s best friend.

Personality: She’s serious to a fault, so much that she takes jokes too literally sometimes. Between her and Kazuma, she’s the more levelheaded and altruistic one. She often serves as his damage control and voice of reason when he does something dangerous or rash. She’s the type to solve conflicts by negotiating instead of outwardly fighting.

Background: Being the youngest in the family, Kazuma is naturally overprotective of her. Although she appreciates his concern, she believes he’s being too paranoid. Deep down, she does not like her position as the youngest female; she feels powerless both in the family and in the Ichinomiya Group. She’s somewhat afraid of Eisuke and views him as an authority figure rather than a father, much to his dismay.

Likes: Reading, black coffee, stuffed animals, ribbons

Dislikes: Being looked down on, flying cockroaches, green peas, hot weather

Soryu:

Tatsuya (19)

Soryu’s only son. Kazuma’s best friend.

Personality: He’s hot-blooded and stubborn to a fault. Also, he has a hard time articulating what he really wants to say without making it sound brusque. Though he has a gruff exterior, he actually has a very strong sense of justice. Despite coming from a line of mobsters, he does not like violence at all. He actively tries to avoid fights, but because of his rough demeanor, he gets dragged into them unwittingly.

Background: Soryu is somewhat reluctant about letting him inherit the Ice Dragons because of his earnest nature. Tatsuya, no matter how much he tries to put on a brave face, is too honest for his own good, and Soryu knows the mafia isn’t the best place for someone as truthful as him. Because of that, Tatsuya feels a bit ashamed for not being the best mobster candidate, so he always tries to make himself seem more fearless than he actually is. He has a secret crush on Naoko, but he’d never admit it out loud because Eisuke and Kazuma would skin him alive if they found out.

Likes: Cold weather, green tea, exercise, action cartoons

Dislikes: Being told how he’ll never compare to his father, flat pillows, wet socks, bell peppers

Baba:

Setsuna (18)

Baba’s only daughter. Yuu’s best friend.

Personality: Among the group, she has the most playful demeanor and serves as the instigator of trouble most of the time. More often than not, she drags everyone into her antics, much to their dismay. She has no inhibitions when it comes to anything, and she rarely gets embarrassed, even when she changes clothes in front of people. She can talk to just about anybody without feeling shy or uneasy at all. However, she’s the scariest when pissed.

Background: She openly shows interest at her father’s line of work, but he tries to dissuade her, knowing that his daughter shouldn’t take any part in any thievery. Despite her father’s wishes, she secretly has an identity as the ‘Red Robin Hood’, a vigilante masked thief. The only other person who knows about her side job is Kazuma; he caught her trying to steal something from his office one time, and since then, she had to swear him to absolute secrecy.

Likes: Cute boys and girls, magic tricks, strawberry cheesecake, traveling

Dislikes: Quiet places, being restrained, conferences, accidentally biting her tongue

Ota:

Yuu (17)

Ota’s only son. Setsuna’s best friend.

Personality: He shares the same ‘two-faced’ attribute Ota has, thought it isn’t as malicious as his father’s. In the limelight, he’d act friendly and cute. When no one’s looking, he’d let loose and act a bit more impish. He and Setsuna get along very well because of their shared love for fun and trouble. It’s easy for him to pull the wool over people’s eyes and get away with a lot of things. Only Ryoko isn’t fooled by his ruse.

Background: Although he didn’t inherit his father’s talent in visual arts, he was blessed in the performing arts instead. He’s an idol, and quite a famous one at that. That being the case, he didn’t want people thinking he was famous just because of the Kisaki name. He uses ‘Yuuki’ as a stage name. (Yuu + Kisaki)  Despite being part of a highly commercialized industry, he always strives to retain his artistic integrity. He writes and composes his own songs without any outside help.

Likes: Singing, dancing, dogs, milk tea

Dislikes: People plagiarizing his music, bugs, taking tests, getting bored

Mamoru:

Ryoko (18)

Mamoru’s only daughter. 

Personality: Ryoko, just like Mamoru, basically exudes an aura of calm and quiet. She’s the most easygoing one in the group, and she is almost never seen stressing about anything. More often than not, people mistake her for being apathetic, when in reality, she just underreacts to everything. Her carefree lifestyle made her develop imperviousness to sarcasm. Yuu usually tries to provoke her, but Ryoko reacts the same way she always has—with a lopsided smile. 

Background: Mamoru is genuinely worried for her because she doesn’t seem to be interested in anything at all. She doesn’t show any worry or anticipation for the future, rather, it seems she usually lives for the present. People like Naoko and Tatsuya confuse her because they take things so seriously. She thinks they should just kick back and enjoy what life has to offer, or else they’d grow old too fast with regrets. Though if she had to be honest, she’s secretly a big fan of photography…

Likes: Photography, exercise, bomber jackets, instant noodles

Dislikes: People asking her what she wants to do in the future, career survey forms, peanut butter, stubbed toes

Shuichi:

Junya (20)

Shuichi’s only son. Hayato’s best friend.

Personality: He’s normally cool and collected, but it’s surprisingly easy to annoy him (just ask Hayato or Kazuma). He may look organized on the outside, but he’s actually the messiest person there is, much to everyone’s amusement. He has a sharp tongue, which often leads to people misinterpreting what he says. However, to anyone who knows him well, he’s just not good at expressing himself. Honestly, he tries to give off an aloof persona, but he’s willing to help anyone if they ask him. 

Background: Junya’s torn between following Shuichi’s footsteps in politics, or actually doing what he wants to do — writing. He has a double-life as a famous internet author under an almost painfully-obvious pseudonym, “Jun.” Only Hayato knows his secret identity. He doesn’t really get along with Kazuma, similar to his father’s rivalry with Eisuke, but he does respect Kazuma’s sense in business — not that he’ll ever say it out loud.

Likes: Writing, long car rides, ambient music, melon soda

Dislikes: People telling him to clean his room, iced coffee, dried fish, writer’s block

Luke:

Ema (17)

Luke’s only daughter. Naoko’s best friend.

Personality: On the outside, she seems really cold and inexpressive, but she’s actually just painfully shy. She tries to act like she isn’t affected by everything, but deep down, she has a hard time making friends because she’s not good at socializing, and she’s secretly afraid of what people think of her because of her, ahem, unique interests. On the other hand, she’s fiercely devoted to the people she cares about. For that reason, she’s extremely attached to Naoko.

Background: Her fascination with the human anatomy led to her wanting to pursue a career as a surgeon, to which Luke was more than happy to acquaint her with. However, the combination of her eccentric interests, plus her introverted personality left her with a crippling fear of socialization. Eventually, her social anxiety became so bad that she wouldn’t leave the house for days on end. Luke, in his worry, decided to introduce her to his close friend’s children—namely, Kazuma and Naoko —in hopes that they would somehow get along. Fortunately, the twins, Naoko especially, managed to coax her out of her shell and befriend her. Now, they’re practically siblings.

Likes: Anatomy textbooks, tea, kittens, rainy days

Dislikes: Crowds, going out, roller coasters, greasy food

Hikaru:

Hayato (20)

Hikaru’s only son. Junya’s best friend.

Personality: He’s a bit of a trickster who likes to mess with people just to see their reactions. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking because he always has the same enigmatic smile on his face. He especially likes to tease the serious types, namely, Junya, Naoko, and Tatsuya. According to him, they have the best responses. However, to anyone who knew him well, he’s actually a pretty loyal person amidst all the teasing. He’s the type to bail someone out if they’re in a pinch, or come up with an elaborate revenge scheme if someone messed with his a friend of his. 

Background: He’s the most skilled hacker in the group. He likes to label himself as an “informant”, mostly because he can find out anything and everything with his elaborate information network. He and Hikaru get along pretty well despite their personalities, and the latter taught him everything he could about hacking, thus Hayato’s interest in computer science. He’s been friends with Junya for as long as he can remember, but he honestly thinks Junya’s too high-strung sometimes; Hayato always tries to get him to relax. 

Likes: Computers, fast food, hoodies, rpg games

Dislikes: People who try to “figure him out”, milk, wearing formal attire, running out of battery

Samejima:

Daiki (17)

Samejima’s only son. Amane’s frenemy/rival/boyfriend.

Personality: He seems like a serious guy, but he’s actually a casual dude who likes to joke with a straight face. Like his father before him, he’s extremely loyal and devoted to Tatsuya (though Tatsuya wants Daiki to treat him normally). Despite being in a relationship with Amane, he constantly competes with her for everything (eating contests, grades, Tatsuya’s praise, etc.). He’s pretty relaxed and friendly with everyone except Amane. With her, he immediately becomes snarky and competitive.

Background: He’s a swimmer, and a very good one – so much so that his teammates on his swim team nicknamed him “The Shark” because of his aggressive swimming style. If he’s not hanging around Tatsuya or Amane, he can usually be found doing laps at the pool. He’s aware of his father’s involvement in the mafia, and he fully understands the responsibilities that comes with it. In fact, he’s long accepted the fact that he’d one day take his father’s place in the Ice Dragons, serving as a shield for Tatsuya. Both he and Amane are in the same position, and underneath their constant rivalry is a nigh unbreakable relationship.

Likes: Swimming, sharks, spicy food, beating Amane

Dislikes: Oversleeping, sour food, clothes that don’t fit, people questioning his decisions 

Inui:

Amane (17)

Inui’s only daughter. Daiki’s frenemy/rival/girlfriend.

Personality: She’s a very energetic person, rivaling only Setsuna in that department. Like her father, she’s earnest, cheerful, and painfully optimistic. She’s also extremely loyal and protective of Tatsuya, who wants nothing more than to be treated like a normal friend. Currently, she’s dating her childhood friend and longtime rival, Daiki. Despite dating him, they still bicker like an old married couple over everything. She may be the very essence of sunshine around most people, but around Daiki, her blood boils. 

Background: Much to Inui’s dismay, her love of dogs has her working part-time at an animal care shelter (to which Samejima finds hilariously ironic). If she’s not around Tatsuya or Daiki, then she’s at the shelter helping out or walking dogs around a park. She knows what he father does in the mafia, and while she disapproves of what they do, she eventually comes to accept her future role as Tatsuya’s shield. She and Daiki are on the same boat, and have an inseparable bond amidst their constant bickering and competing.

Likes: Dogs, bright colors, fruit shakes, beating Daiki

Dislikes: Stormy days, mushrooms, scraped knees, people who abuse the weak

[darling-dooju]

Butter, Milk, and Eggs {a Namjin Drabble}

Summary: Namjoon and Seokjin are newlyweds that spend their honeymoon at a grocery store.

Genre: Domestic Fluff, Cheesy Puns, Complete Nonsense

Length: About 2k give or take

A/N: Oh boy, my first ever BTS fanfic oh man oh geez. I hope this doesn’t suck. This was supposed to be short but I got a little carried away so here we are. Huge thanks to my beta @loveisfx you are my moon and stars and I love so much. If you find any grammar mistakes in this feel free to let me know and I’ll try to change it. (oh, and the moodboard was also done by me btw) Have a lovely day/night you sugar plums!✨

Most couples upon being married have a honeymoon. A glorious honeymoon, filled with lovey-dovey dates and often not as much sex as everyone thinks. They’ll spend their hard earned money on all of two, maybe three stays at a hotel (because hotels aren’t cheap and every second there is another second closer to bankruptcy) and look back on their brief yet blissful moments together as one of the best times of their lives.

Namjoon and Seokjin had considered the prospect of this oh so blissful honeymoon, calculated the amount of money they’d probably spend and simultaneously went “Meh”. They just got married! Isn’t the act of marrying itself the blissful, brief moment? Why waste your money at some luxurious location when you could just return to your lives as newlyweds and conquer the world together?

In retrospect, Namjoon and Seokjin should have probably had an actual honeymoon.

 It was 3 weeks post wedding, and Namjoon’s world was falling apart at the seams.  Namjoon had, at one point in time, been dead set on getting a house. A home he could own, his own little world, someplace he’d always feel comfortable living in. He had the money, having squirted the funds needed out of every orifice of his earnings. It was exhausting, it was stressful, but it was done. This mindset was all before he had met Seokjin of course, back when he was just a successful bachelor. Back when he was an English professor at the Yonsei University (amongst his students he was deemed “that professor whose class you can sleep in cuz he never notices”), with a perpetual first draft for what he had hoped to be the world’s most efficacious novel about the dangers of toxic masculinity. Too voluntarily overworked to realize he was lonely, too young and too clumsy to be taken seriously by his peers, and too single-minded to consider that, hey, maybe, the world’s most efficacious novel about toxic masculinity needs some perspective from women?  

 But that was then, this was now.  Now he’s with Seokjin, adorable, cute Print Office Assistant Seokjin, who makes him want to garden and wax poetic about living in the moment. Who coaxed Namjoon’s first draft out of him (Seokjin had smirked and pondered all throughout reading it. Namjoon almost had a heart attack) and because of this was the reason why “Let’s Murder Real Men” written by Ahn Hee-yeon, Park So-jin, and of course Kim Nam-joon became one of the bestselling novels in South Korea.  This meant he was writing full-time, this meant Namjoon was not longer the strapping young professor at Yonsei, but a bestselling writer with a well-known name. He was famous now and easily stalkable thus ruining his dream life of a comfortable relaxing, home for him to live in so now all he wants to do is live in the middle of wilderness cuddling Seokjin in a fort of blankets. No house, never.

 Seokjin is very used to not getting exactly what he wants, but that’s okay, Seokjin’s no quitter, he always gets what he wants eventually.  So right now, with dreams of a big beautiful house with soft pastel pink and gold interiors complete with secret wine cabinets…and a husband who’d rather bite off his own foot than deal with the thought of owning a house, he was simply waiting. Waiting to strike. Waiting for the perfect moment to enact his getting what he wanted plan.  

It took perseverance for sure, with Namjoon finding more and more excuses as to why houses were worse than Satan so it was rather difficult to even propose the idea of moving from their messy shared apartment. First it was the cockroaches he said, homes are more likely to get cockroaches; Seokjin had asked where he heard that from. Namjoon had said from a coworker; Seokjin then said “since when does Mr. Smart Guy not triangulate his sources?” so Namjoon replied with a shrug and a far too cute smile upon handing Seokjin his raspberry hot chocolate and it was then when Seokjin had succumb to the evil seductions of The Namjoon Temptress so the conversation was dropped. Then it was a matter of paying for the rhetorical house, Seokjin had proposed a lump sum payment, as they already had the amount needed, but Namjoon had suddenly decided a monthly rental system was the way to go and there was no convincing him otherwise. Even though it made no sense, considering they already had the money for a house and then some, what was the point of paying monthly? But Namjoon was stubborn, suspiciously stubborn. The worst of his “No House, Never” theatrics being his counterarguments to homes, such as an even bigger apartment, an RV, an actual tree house, or worst yet a fucking cabin. A literal cabin in the woods, probably prone to murder and loud birds. Seokjin was quite annoyed with his circumstances to say the least.

So it was these culminating emotions from both parties that led to the most tension-filled trip to the grocery store. Not just any grocery store, but the big, fancy grocery store an hour away from them because their local grocery store was shut down at the moment when a drunk driver drove straight into the damn building. Their goal was fairly simple; they needed butter, milk, and eggs so they were going to get butter, milk, and eggs in a timely fashion. At the big, fancy grocery store with absolutely no interruptions.

This did not happen.

Item One: Butter

Namjoon and Seokjin had no idea how this big grocery store worked. You would think the big signs indicating where specific ingredients are in each section would be helpful but as it turns out your eyes don't naturally gravitate toward the big signs hanging above you. So Seokjin decided it would be best to just make a loop around, as they’d have to find the butter sooner or later. However, Namjoon thought it would be a better idea to go to the far left of the grocery store, as that's usually where the dairy products are.

 "The best way to navigate a place you don't know is to use the knowledge you've acquired from previous places to find the right path" Namjoon said.

 "But what if the knowledge you've gathered is completely useless in this new situation?"

 "Well, what do you propose we do?"

 "Listen to me always."

 So with that they did a loop around, looking at all the fascinating ways off brand cereals label themselves as name brand cereals without actually ever saying the name brand, eating little free samples gathered around the produce area, and giggling over just how many vegetables and fruits look like penises because they're 9 year olds. This resulted in a penis pun war, with Seokjin always winning because he was indeed the Penis Pun Master.

They still had no idea where the butter was, but Seokjin had found the grocery store's bakery and promptly begged for the store's clearance Valentine's Day themed red velvet cupcakes even though it was March. In retaliation, Namjoon had gotten his weird plain "healthy" morning muffins.

Item Two: Milk

With the dairy section still nowhere to be found Seokjin had thought now would be a good time to try out his getting what he wanted plan, he tried to be subtle about it (well it was subtle to him at least), starting the plan out by saying “Don’t you think shiny hardwood makes the best kitchen floor?” This had led to Namjoon and Seokjin arguing over rhetorical house designs in the middle of the snack food isle. 

 "But wouldn't matte be better suited for the kitchen floor? I mean think about it, it’s rough with an oddly smooth finish. Your eyes assume it will shine but it doesn't, yet in its own special way it does indeed shine, it shines in a rustic, organic kinda way."

 "First off, Joonie, there's nothing organic about a matte floor, it’s carefully cut by carpenters or architects, or whoever it is that makes the floors. Then they're properly buffered to look less shiny by those said floor people. But why? Why ruin the shine of shiny things? They’re shiny for a reason and that reason is shiny stuff always makes things better. Shiny stuff sparkles and I will be damned if you say sparkles don't go well with everything."

 "But don't you think it’s a nice metaphor for our marriage? Not necessarily shining for the world to see, but subtly glowing with beauty in its own unique way? Isn't that what our love is?"

 "Joonie, I would do anything for love, but I won't do matte." Namjoon tried not to smile at such cheesy wordplay, but Seokjin was giggling and Namjoon was weak for Seokjin giggles.

Item Three: Eggs

If Namjoon and Seokjin had ever bothered to just look to the right of them they'd notice that they had already passed the dairy section three times already. It was right by the produce against the wall. However now Seokjin and Namjoon were currently in a very important competition of trying to knock each other's shoes off by stepping on their heels whilst making it seem like somebody else totally did it. Their conversations have veered many places throughout this grocery store run, like what exactly constituted a music box when most music boxes are in snow globes, and if that was the case what constituted a snow globe? And just why is it every single package for hot chocolate had a creepy little girl on it? What on earth were all the creepy little girls trying to imply? 

But inevitably their conversations, like always, finally get straight to the point. Seokjin was getting frustrated by the lack of progress in his plan, so he decided he was just going to go in for the kill.

 "So be honest with me Namjoon, you know full and well I want a house, and I've talked to your mother about it and she's said that you used to be very adamant about wanting a house. Why the sudden change? Is it because you only wanted to live in a house if it was by yourself? Why don't you like the thought of me living in a house with you?"

 “No! No, it’s not that, it’s just...well-” Namjoon licked his lips in contemplation.

 “I-I'm worried Jinnie, I'm worried about getting stalked and having reporters force me to interview them or whatever because I'm all famous now for some reason and it's so weird. Like, did you know, when I was trying to order coffee this morning because we were out of coffee bean packages at the apartment the cashier immediately recognized me?  Immediately! It was so wild, and I didn't know what to do. I'm not trying to sound all fake humble or something, it’s not like getting complimented or being famous bothers me per se, but it's just...weird. It's not something I'm used to. All I wanted to was write a book that would've helped me out when I was just a dumb teenager, but now all of the sudden I'm going to coffee shops and having weird stomach sweat because the cashier wants to know what a 'famous person like me' is doing in a simple coffee shop. And I just worry you won't want to deal with that. That this is like the end of The Graduate and all the adrenaline of romance and grand gestures is gone and you're faced with the reality that you don't like me. Cuz' I'm all weirdly famous and people keep asking you what your relationship with me is like and I just-"

 "Kim Namjoon."

 "Huh?"

 "Kim Namjoon, I've just noticed that the dairy section is right by us so I am going to go over there and get some gosh darn butter, milk, and eggs and you are going to sit there and be happy. You are going to sit there and be happy because I've decided that I will do anything for your love, including get a matte floor, because this whole grocery store has a matte floor and I'm realizing now just how nice it looks, and you are going to be happy because we are going to have a big house, big car, and just generally very big things. A house with colors you like and colors I like complete with a secret wine drawer, and a couch specifically made for cuddling in. Because I love you a whole bunch even though you say ridiculous things like how I might leave you, and that you were once a dumb teenager when we both know every teenager is somewhat stupid therefore none are. Okie dokie?"  

 "Ughhh… yeah okay, okie dokie."

 As you can see, no matter how it happens, Seokjin always gets what he wants in the end. Luckily, in turn Namjoon then always gets what he wants. What Seokjin wants is usually what Namjoon wants as well. Whether he knows it or not.

Turns out they actually had butter, milk, and eggs at home. Namjoon had bought some a day before because he's a preemptive buyer always trying to make sure they never run out of anything. But that's okay because Seokjin will just use it to make cupcakes far better than the grocery store's cupcakes and Namjoon will eat them, face covered in frosting. And the day will be remembered as their grocery store honeymoon, with many more to come. Because their marriage is not a compilation of brief yet blissful moments but rather one very big happy moment comprised of smaller, even better moments.

End.