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whetstonefires · 5 years ago

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mcu ethics bad

The thing is that, while I was angry at Tony during Age of Ultron, particularly when he rode over Bruce’s compunctions about building a giant combat super-robot and pressured him into the project like a very very bad friend who happened to also be wrong...

...and when he equipped Hulkbuster armor and fought the Hulk in the middle of a city rather than attempting de-escalation or attempting to haul the Hulk out into the giant adjacent desert....

(And my suspension of disbelief snapped like a frayed cable when he brought down a skyscraper that had had no time to be evacuated on a street full of fleeing people and the only reason we were given to believe he hadn’t just cold-bloodedly created massive civilian casualties was that he told his AI to find the impossible magic angle where doing this wouldn’t kill anyone...)

While I was angry with him then, and unspeakably relieved that he recognized his own damage and retired at the end, haha psych, I was revolted by him during Civil War.

It’s supposed to make us sympathize with a character more, spending so much time with them, getting into their heads, being shown their emotional drives and reactions to things, and we spent so much time with Tony during that film, understanding his point of view. And...I did understand him. He’s not complicated. I even sympathized with his emotional state.

But in the context of his actions, throughout the film, I gazed into that understanding the way I did into Kylo Ren’s face in the seconds after he first unmasked. I see you, I know you, everything you are is written here, and the lines of your shame and self-revulsion are so thick upon you, and you should be ashamed but your self-destruction does not expiate or justify one jot of the harm you do.

Because everything Tony did in Civil War came from a place of selfishness. He was selfish all throughout that movie down to his very spine.

And selfishness isn’t itself necessarily bad--you need a little, to get through life, you have the right to your own portion of it. Your boundaries and your needs. But the type of selfishness that is forcing other people pay dearly for your emotional comfort and sense of control: no.

That is tyranny. That is not acceptable.

And you know how I know he was being selfish? Because his motive for pushing the Sokovia Accords was his personal guilt for the destruction of Sokovia.

But the Accords didn’t address that at all! They were tangential to the issue! None of the terms of the Accords would have saved Sokovia--in fact, the existence of them could easily have prevented the evacuation and harm-reduction the Avengers managed there, without saving a single soul.

The Ultron crisis was something Tony did, not as Iron Man but as Tony Stark, with Bruce Banner’s help, and which Wanda as criminal fugitive later helped exacerbate, and which all the other Avengers were involved in only to mitigate harm.

Legislation, or...treaties, idk, the UN isn’t actually empowered to pass laws so who knows what this thing was...aimed at preventing another Sokovia would mandate constant ethical oversight of billionaire science man’s mad science. At the very least! He never has to run things by ethics boards because he’s self-funded, at the very least let’s invent a mechanism to make up for that.

That would address the actual Sokovia issue, both in terms of risks and in terms of Tony’s personal guilt feelings.

But no one suggests that! It’s not even on the table! Because no one, certainly not any government, can tell Tony Stark what to do unless he lets them, that’s been a clear matter of record since Iron Man 2.

And because no one writing this legal instrument of whatever description was actually motivated by wanting to avoid another Sokovia, or even another ‘Wanda tries to neutralize a suicide bomber but merely gives him a different, smaller victim pool’ incident.

They didn’t care! They blatantly didn’t care! The entire thing was a ghoulish use of the dead to gain enough political leverage over the Avengers to put a leash on them!

(Which might not be a bad thing in principle, everything needs its checks, but when the last quasi-governmental organization you worked for turned out to be Nazis who were only prevented from staging a mass slaughter of undesireables by the skin of your teeth, I think you’re well within your rights to be very choosy about who you agree to obey, and to be firmly against pledging your honor to follow people whose first move was dishonest coercive tactics.

Actually you’re well within your rights to demand to negotiate the terms of even a much less sweeping contract, even without the Nazis. The whole approach to this thing stank to high heaven.

The fact that it was written by the UN like a treaty, expected to be signed by private individuals like a contract, and then enforced like a law except not because 1) laws are for everyone 2) if you break a law you get a trial not extrajudicial incarceration and 3) being pressured to consent to a restriction and then punished for refusing consent is hypocritical circular logic and in fact police corruption at its finest, all continues to show it was a bullshit nonsense franken-document.)

The whole movie is people ghoulishly using the dead to manipulate Tony into making bad decisions in response to his emotional pain. That’s. The plot of the film.

Then Zemo staged T’Chaka’s assassination and framed Bucky for it to raise the tension, ramp up the pressure, and prevent any sitting-down and talking reasonably through this, which might have allowed for the recognition of how extremely bullshit the entire concept was.

Tony was being used. Tony was a tool of bad people for most of that movie, and while Zemo banked on using his wrath for it, the politicos were leaning on his guilt.

And there’s honestly little I hold in deeper scorn than going out and hurting other people to assuage your own guilt and treating this as having the moral high ground. No. You don’t have the moral high ground on account of your guilt motivation. You have it if the actions you took were just, or at least could reasonably be assumed to have been so at the time.

And Tony fucking knew they weren’t. He didn’t even last to the end of the movie before recognizing that he’d been manipulated and fucked up, and doubling back.

That he then walked into a different manipulation, turned on a dime, and had to be stopped from doing a murder doesn’t unwrite that.

And it drives me nuts that people will say Tony was acting out of principle while Steve was acting out of personal attachment. Because sure, the Bucky thing was important, was the reason he was walking forward against all opposition instead of standing still to argue, but it wasn’t the reason Steve said no, while...

Tony wasn’t acting out of principle. Tony isn’t...very good at having principles. That’s not even a criticism or condemnation, it’s just how he functions. Since Iron Man he’s been substituting good intentions and emotional investment, which has worked out to varying degrees. It works best for huge, difficult, very straightforward decisions like ‘ride the nuke through the portal and save my hometown.’ It works less well for nuanced situations.

Tony was, as usual, acting out of emotion. And some awful shitheads who’d figured out where his levers were had calculated how to jiggle his emotion switches in the right places to make him do exactly what they wanted.

And you can tell he wasn’t acting out of principle because, for example, someone who was trying to get the superhero community under outside control for the sake of harm mitigation...

...well, firstly wouldn’t have chosen to stage a massive battle? But it’s possible someone in the UN specifically told him to do that, and in theory they at the very least signed off on it, presumably for its PR value of making Captain America look deranged and violent since it’s a deranged decision from every other angle, so yay, he can pass that responsibility up the chain and not have to angst about it, as promised.

But I was going to say would not have approached a minor who (this timeline takes pains to show us) had no prior experience of battle or even, somehow, serious violent crime, to recruit him to go be a government child soldier on another continent, without his guardian’s knowledge or consent. There were overtones of blackmail in Tony’s approach, before it turned out Peter was such a big fan he didn’t need that. What the fuck frankly.

That is not the action of someone who wants to start doing things by the letter, scaling the violence down, keeping within the law and putting the power of decisionmaking in other people’s hands because he’s realized he can’t trust his own.

And frankly even if he did act like that I wouldn’t necessarily support his choices, in particular his snap decision to behave coercively toward other Avengers with vastly less social power and security than he has.

And that’s the other thing! Everything about ‘Tony + Accords BFFs’ rings so hollow because he has never thought rules applied to him, and he knows perfectly well the entire time he’s fighting to force this surrender of agency down other people’s throats that he is going to be practically immune.

This man was technically a terrorist, proabably the most prolific single terrorist in world history until his rogue android exceeded his body count, but he was immune to prosecution because he was in tight with the United States military-industrial complex and basically untouchable due to his status within capitalism, and pursuing their international goals anyway. In the time between Iron Man and Iron Man II he was basically a one-man upgrade of the US drone program, and so good at it that the crest of blood he carved through the Middle East allowed him to announce he had ‘privatized world peace.’

(You are never going to get a world peace worth anything on the basis of a giant flying gun, okay.)

He went to war as a private individual, against non-state actors who were not directly threatening him, which is very much defined as ‘mass murder’ in all domestic and international law, and the US army in response sued him for control of his weapon. And lost! Lost.

No one attempted to press charges. No one. Because Tony Stark is above all that. And he knows it.

And like. I’m willing to accept the mass murder under the heading of ‘superheroing’ within the terms of this setting! Even if, after his vengeance rampage on his specific kidnappers, this violence was kept strictly off-screen for a reason. I did that! I bent that far! Genre convention!

But this history is kind of vitally important to any analysis of what he thought he was doing, and what he actually was doing, when he decided to become the iron gauntlet of the Sokovia Accords.

The currently active member of the Avengers who needed muzzling most was very manifestly Iron Man, and he knew even as he jammed the muzzle on all his comrades to make himself feel better that it would affect him the least, even if he didn’t finally retire for real this time. You don’t force Tony Stark. Not if you want anything out of it but blown up. You persuade him.

And once you have...oh, look at what he can do.

#hoc est meum #mcu #tony stark critical #i am so angry with this man and i will never stop #i throw salt #an ocean of it

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solena2 · 4 years ago

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Hey y’all so I watched a YouTube video that I think was wrong, and as you know it’s illegal to be wrong on the internet, so I wrote a response!

Video is here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8LF_KkrCJs

youtube

Spoilers for BNHA, in both the video and my response (which I wanted to put in the comments on the video, but apparently YouTube gets pissy about copypasting? Anyway)

Also, probably watch the video before reading this, since a lot of this is a direct response to the points they brought up.

—

I’d like to preface this by saying that you’ve made some valid comments, and that I understand where you’re coming from here.

My Hero Academia is, overall, a story about amazing people with amazing powers doing amazing things, and it’s difficult to see where someone with no power at all might fit in to this, which is the main emotional conflict Izuku faces throughout his childhood, that fundamental dichotomy between his wanting to save people, and his (assumed) inability to do so without a quirk.

But My Hero Academia is also a story that likes to repeatedly assert that anyone can be a hero. From Aizawa with his non-physical quirk, who primarily uses support gear to defeat enemies many times stronger than him, to Shinsou, whose quirk is seen as villainous, who would likely have to fight against other heroes as often as he would villains thanks to the prejudice that’s positively dripping from BNHA’s world.

So I’d like to explain why I disagree.

First, you begin the video by talking about the people who claim that Izuku’s getting a quirk ruins the story. I would like to make it clear, right off the bat, that I don’t hold this view. I believe that while Izuku having a quirk weakens the impact of the story and cheapens a lot of its messages, there is still undoubtedly a story there to be told, and one that is worth telling.

The reason I believe that Izuku receiving One For All weakens the story is because BNHA is all about the consequences of the kind of society wide prejudice that exists within its world. Every villain the characters face and every problem they overcome is one spawned by the very status quo they’ve spent their childhoods dreaming of upholding- the hero system.

Stain exists because heroes are held in awe by the general population without truly being worthy of it, treated as saviors despite being little more than glorified cops, which spawns anger and resentment from people intelligent enough to see past their facades.

Dabi exists because pro heroes are allowed to get away with just about anything so long as they’re covert about it, and in fact might have grown up to be a hero himself if Endeavor had been held to a higher moral standard by those around him, or had been appropriately punished for his behavior.

All For One exists because “strong” quirks are revered, and those who hold them are taught early to take what they want by force.

Shigaraki exists because those with “unpleasant” quirks are reviled and held in disgust by the general population, which makes them vulnerable to exploitation by outside forces due to their lacking support systems.

I could go on, but I’m sure you get the point.

In my opinion, BNHA has always been centered around the society quirks have created and the consequences therein. I dare you to find a major character arc that doesn’t intersect with the universe’s social issues in some way.

Thus, I believe the message that BNHA attempts to convey would be significantly stronger I’d Izuku had remained quirkless, demonstrating once and for all that quirks and heroism aren’t so intertwined as it might seem.

Instead, it shoots itself in the foot, saying repeatedly that it’s not a quirk that makes a hero, but rather their spirit, while at the same time leaving it implied that the most important character of all would never have been able to help people if not for being given All Might’s power. (Again, it doesn’t ruin the story, but it does hamstring the core message somewhat.)

You say here that Izuku getting saved by All Might is the only reason he became a hero at all, being “saved from his fate of irrelevance”.

This is… Not something I agree with, to state it politely.

Izuku was planning to attend UA’s entrance exam long before he met All Might. Given that he is, you know, Izuku, I don’t think any amount of shittiness from Katsuki would have deterred him from trying. In fact, trying despite the odds against him making it seem idiotic to do so is one the largest parts of his character.

The way you speak of needing to give him a “resilient streak” for him to keep trying despite All Might’s discouragement implies that he doesn’t already have one wide enough to suffer through 14 years of being told he’d never make it as a hero. With how much he’s already pushed through by the time the story even starts, I really doubt All Might would succeed again breaking his will any more than anyone else has.

You say that Izuku’s arc is all about facing the guilt of having reached his goals purely through chance while so many others remain downtrodden.

That’s valid, and I agree.

You also say that this is not a character arc he could have had without One For All, which is not.

Merely being the first quirkless person to make it into UA would likely start this, as he would definitely still have to get through the exam on rescue points, which could feel unearned to him, what with his massive case of imposter syndrome.

Thus, it would still be entirely possible to give him the same overall character arc he has in canon, and it might in fact end up even more pronounced, due to all the discrimination he’d face from the general public.

You say that for this Izuku to continue, even despite All Might’s rejection, he would already have to have the sense of self worth such a character arc eventually gives him.

This is not the case. There are many instances in real life of people pushing past impossible odds and still not feeling as if they deserve to have made it to the other side. In fact, what would likely happen is that he’d try to be a hero anyway and then feel guilty for attempting it even after being discouraged by his hero.

So no, he’s not Naruto, because the personality changes you propose wouldn’t actually be necessary to give him a fighting chance as a hero without a quirk.

The next big point you make is that it would be difficult to give Izuku the standard shounen power crawl without a cool quirk.

You’re correct that technology would have a difficult time stacking up to One For All without feeling like an asspull, making him a Mary Sue, or needing to give him a seemingly infinite array of gadgets, a la Batman.

Notice I said difficult, NOT impossible. While it can be much harder to turn technology into a realistic way to fight superpowered villains, it CAN be done.

Not to mention, there is already a character in BNHA who does it and does it well.

Aizawa doesn’t have a combat oriented quirk, instead fighting almost exclusively with the use of his capture scarf, using which he is shown to be able to take out upwards of ten villains, depending on where you want to pull from. I really don’t think it would be so unrealistic to give a quirkless Izuku something along these lines.

Not that we even need to. We can have Izuku beating villains without the use of any technology he couldn’t buy for himself. (At least in a place with lax safety laws, which I imagine his world likely is due to how pointless it would be to heavily restrict the purchase of things like guns when there are people running around who can shoot glaciers from their hands)

Ninety percent of villains are as vulnerable to getting shot as a normal human. If that’s too violent and bloody for the tone of the show, there are dozens of ways to beat the villains with things like hairspray flamethrowers, slingshots, and traditional weapons (just look at Stain). While quirks certainly are powerful, they aren’t perfect and every ability has a counter, even if it’s not always immediately obvious.

This eliminates the problem of him needing to get his tech from somewhere entirely. (Which is almost a con, because Mei needs more screentime, man)

Actually your point of possibly making Izuku a “super genius” reminds me of something else. Izuku has an almost supernatural ability to identify and counter quirks. Gee, I wonder how that could be useful in a possible plot line where he’s unable to rely on being able to smash his way through problems…

You say that if Izuku getting a quirk is an issue for BNHA, giving him overpowered tech would be a problem as well. Though I already solved this problem by proposing less tech heavy solutions, I’ve decided not to skip over this point because it seems like the right place for me to bring up a piece of context you may be missing for why some people are so against Izuku being given a quirk.

Let’s talk about the disability angle.

Now, as someone with mental disabilities myself, I’m not exactly unbiased here. I’m not going to deny that I have a knee jerk reaction to any story that gives a character a disability (or something analogous within the setting to a disability, like quirklessness) and then “cures” it while implying that they never would have gotten anywhere if their disability had persisted. This is actually why I took so long to get into the BNHA fandom, since I saw a loose outline of the plot and immediately went “oh hell no”.

I did end up joining the fandom in the end, simply because I’m almost certain that this parallel was unintentional.

Anyway, the reason why giving him an overpowered quirk and giving him overpowered tech are so different from a lot of people’s perspectives is that giving him tech doesn’t erase his “disability”. If you give a quirkless Izuku powerful tech, he’ll still be quirkless, with all the hurdles and challenges that implies. (Especially the discrimination related ones) Meanwhile, giving Izuku a quirk removes the disability entirely, as well as most associated difficulties.

I’m sure you can see why one seems so ableist, from a disabled perspective.

You say that you would likely run out of ways to meaningfully progress his tech, in a series as long as BNHA likely will be by its conclusion, but I’d like to point out that this is just as much of a problem with superpowered media. It’s very common in shounen for power progression to feel like more and more of an asspull as the story progresses. Thus, you solve the problem in the same way, by relying more on clever use of what the hero already possesses than you do on creating a new application or ability in every fight.

And no, I can think of several ways to beat both Dabi and Shigaraki without “science magic”. Obviously, neither of them are immune to bullets, though again, that’s probably a bit too quick for this show. You could take down Shigaraki if you could numb his hands somehow, or if you protected yourself with something made of many interlocking parts, like chain mail. You could beat Dabi if you used something like a taser, if you could get close enough to use it. You could also just find a way to outlast him, since he’s not immune to his own fire. Maybe bring some gasoline?

I’m going to skip over the points you make while talking about setting, since I don’t believe you’d have to alter the setting to make a quirkless Izuku feasible.

I will talk acknowledge one point you make while discussing setting simply so I can say: inequality and societal imbalance do not require much, or even any, actual disparity in ability to both exist and be prevalent enough to disenfranchise huge chunks of a population. Just look at how autistic and ADHD people are treated for that. (Or gay people, or women, or the Poors(™)...)

In conclusion, your opinion is valid but I think you lack knowledge of where most of this criticism is actually coming from, which isn’t something you should be ashamed of.

I think the reason mine and your opinions are so fundamentally different here is that we’re coming from very different places, and our thoughts on a piece of media like this are always going to be shaped by our environment.

Thank you for reading.

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #Izuku #Midoriya #midoriya izuku #Deku #BNHA #BNHA meta #mha meta #my writing #I really feel like it’s important to discuss why different people have different opinions on this kind of thing!#also I’d just like to make it clear that I do like bnha #I just feel like it. like any piece of media (except Undertale lol). had some flaws and issues which should be addressed #consume media critically!#long post #sorry about your dashes I made this post on mobile so no cut #and apparently tumblr has decided that it’s illegal to edit posts made on mobile from a computer #>:(#sol writes

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carljparker · 5 years ago

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The Books of 2019

Here are the books I read in 2019. As some of you might recall, I assess books in terms of how much they affect me:

Changed my life

Deeply influenced me

Influenced me

Interesting

Wish I hadn't done that

This year, I am also including the year in which each book was first published; I am trying to think more about the historical context of the books that I read.

Lawrence in Arabia by Scott Anderson (2013)

Influenced me...enlightened me.

Note that the title is Lawrence in Arabia, not "Lawrence of Arabia". This book is a history of World War I, focused almost entirely on the Middle East--what was then known as the Ottoman Empire. T.E. Lawrence plays a key role, of course, but Anderson weaves other important actors into the story as well. The book gave me a deeper understanding of the events that led to the formation of Israel and why that has resulted in so much conflict.

Mother Night (1962) and Slaughter House Five by Kurt Vonnegut (1969) (Double feature)

Deeply influenced me.

This was the year of Kurt Vonnegut. Mother Night was written before Slaughter House Five and I read it first. However, Night is actually something of a sequel to House. They both deal with events during World War II and its aftermath. At times, Vonnegut describes events that are so bizarre that I laughed out loud. At other times, the events seem to come out of a horror novel--but I suspect they are based on actual experiences.

Eight Years in Power by Ta-Nehisi Coates (2017)

Influenced me.

After reading this book, I now know what a polemic is. Coates' book is a collection of eight essays that he wrote during the Obama administration. The essays express Coates' views on racism in America. I found the reading arduous because of the strong rhetoric. Even so, parts of the book were quite interesting. Examples are Coates' essay on Bill Cosby and Coates' stories about arguing with President Obama at the White House: the fiery Coates contending with the level-headed Obama.

The Fight by Norman Mailer (1975)

Deeply influenced me.

In 1967, Muhammad Ali was stripped of his title as Heavyweight Champion for his refusal to fight in the Vietnam War. Four years later, in 1971, the US Supreme Court unanimously overturned Ali's conviction--but he still had to fight to get his title back. In October, 1974, Ali fought George Foreman for the title. The fight occurred in Zaire (formerly The Congo), in Central Africa and became known as "The Rumble in the Jungle". Norman Mailer was sent as a journalist to cover the fight. The book is about Ali, Foreman, the physics of boxing, and the metaphysics of Africa. It is incredible.

King Leopold's Ghost by Adam Hochschild (1999)

Influenced me...Disturbing.

My friend and colleague, Marla, who I work with at Facebook, recommended this book. Having just read The Fight, I was interested in reading more about Africa, especially The Congo (now Zaire). I got more than I bargained for. The book concerns the horrific exploitation and forced labor used by King Leopold of Belgium in The Congo. The forced labor practices were essentially slavery and, historically speaking, most of the action takes place after the period of the American Civil War. Ten million Congolese were murdered by Leopold's colonial forces during this period; when I first read that number, I doubted Hochschild's credibility, but to his credit, he meticulously documents it using multiple independent sources. The events described here are disturbing.

The Fire Next Time by James Baldwin (1963)

Deeply influenced me. Left me concerned.

I have never encountered anyone who wrote so incisively and authentically about racism in the United States. Although Baldwin represents his relationship with religion as ambiguous, it is clear that he views racism as a deep cultural sin that will, sooner or later, need to be cleansed. In Eight Years in Power, Coates says that he aspires to be as great a writer as James Baldwin; I think that would be difficult.

On Writing by Stephen King (2000)

Influenced me...perhaps deeply.

My friend, Michael, advised me that this book is not really a compilation of guidance from Stephen King about how to write. It is much more of a memoir about King's experiences during his writing career. That said, some of King's ideas about writing are fascinating. For example, King believes that pieces of writing pre-exist inside the consciousness of the writer and it is his job to discover and excavate them. I also very much enjoyed King’s account of how he had given up on his novel Carrie until his wife Tabitha encouraged him to continue; Carrie turned out to be the horror novel that launched King's career.

Ship of Fools by Tucker Carlson (2018)

Influenced me.

Tucker Carlson is a news analyst and commentator currently associated with Fox News. This book is Tucker's analysis of the political and social issues that led to the election of President Trump. At times, Carlson is very funny, but the book is weakened somewhat by Carlson not providing references for many of the facts that he cites. Note though that I did "fact check" some of what I thought were Carlson's more outrageous claims . . . and they turned out to be legit.

So You've Been Publicly Shamed by Jon Ronson (2015)

Influenced me...perhaps deeply.

I first became acquainted with Ronson through the podcast, The Butterfly Effect, in which he explores the less-than-obvious effects of free online pornography. In So You've Been Publicly Shamed, Ronson investigates the phenomenon of online shaming--mostly on Twitter. The book is wide ranging and does a great job of looking at the phenomenon from different angles. However, like everything I've encountered from Ronson, he left me unsure where he himself stands on the issues.

Guns by Stephen King (2013)

Interesting.

I like Stephen King. I've read three of his novels (Carrie, Fire Starter, The Stand) and I intend to read more. His book On Writing, influenced the way that I think about writing and about life. Having said all that, King and I diverge pretty much completely when it comes to gun control. King wrote this essay shortly after the horrible mass shooting at Sandy Hook and it is clear that King (who lives in New England) felt a deep need to respond. However, this essay suffers from an over abundance of passion and a shortage of objectivity. Also, at times, King devolves into snark and sarcasm.

Dancing with Elephants by Jarem Sawatsky (2017)

Influenced me.

Jarem Sawatsky has Huntington's disease, which is an incurable genetic disorder that causes slow but progressive brain damage. Sawatsky wrote this book because he felt that his strategies for living with Huntington's could help other people suffering from degenerative diseases. Sawatsky is deeply courageous, and in addition to practical advice, the book also provides indispensable perspective: In my life I contend with glaucoma, but I would choose glaucoma over Huntington's in a heartbeat.

A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle (2006)

Influenced me, perhaps deeply.

My friend and colleague, Cash, who I work with at Facebook, recommended this book. As I've gotten older, I've become more skeptical of "New Age" ideology, but based on Cash's unreserved recommendation, I decided to take this on. The book is great. Much of the material was familiar, but Tolle's delivery is excellent: articulate, well organized, and coherent. The term "best in class" comes to mind.

Churchill and Orwell by Thomas E. Ricks (2017)

Influenced me.

This book focuses on the lives of Winston Churchill and George Orwell from the rise of totalitarianism in Europe in the 1930s through the aftermath of World War II. In saving England (and Europe) from Hitler, Churchill was necessarily focused more on fascism. Orwell, in his writing, addressed totalitarianism more broadly by including Soviet Socialism as well. I am allergic to totalitarianism so I enjoyed the book immensely, especially in the way that it showed Churchill and Orwell persevering through what must have seemed like utterly hopeless odds.

An Autobiography: My Experiments with Truth by Mohandas K. Gandhi (Original: 1927, US: 1948)

Influenced me.

Now here is a guy that sticks to his guns--metaphorically speaking. Pretty much nothing in this book is what I expected. For one thing, the book stops before Gandhi launches the movement to free India from British rule; instead, the Gandhi here is deeply loyal to Britain. The book deals mostly with his religious development and with fighting anti-Indian bigotry in what is now South Africa. At times, Gandhi comes off like a fanatic, but I was still impressed by his complete unwillingness to retreat when it comes to his principles or political objectives.

How to Measure Anything by Douglas Hubbard (2014)

Influenced me.

Years ago, circa 2010, I read about 25% of this book and got so excited that I stopped reading it and began recommending it to everyone I met. This year I decided that maybe I should finish it myself. I'm glad I did, and don't regret having recommended it. The message of this book is so hopeful: That the thing that you want to quantify is almost certainly measurable in a way that is worth your time and effort. Lots of great strategies, methods, and examples.

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (1953)

Deeply influenced me.

My friend, Michael, gave me a copy of this book years ago. It describes a totalitarian society in which fireman start fires rather than put them out. Specifically, they burn books. (Fahrenheit 451 is the temperature at which paper ignites.) Prescient and chilling. Required reading for our time.

Thinking in Systems by Donnella H. Meadows (2008)

Deeply influenced me.

I'm so glad I read this book. It is a straightforward introduction to systems concepts. It starts with fundamental ideas and builds up methodically without ever getting ahead of itself. I feel so informed about an area that I now realize I didn't really understand at all. At times, the writing is colored by Meadows' politics, but that is a minor consideration. I would recommend this book to anyone involved in STEM.

The Bhagavad Gita (written a long time ago)

Influenced me.

The "Gita" is part of the scripture of the Hindu religion. Because of my yoga practice, I have been feeling for years as though I should read it; this year I did. Much of the book concerns clean living and doing your duty, whatever that might be in this lifetime. (Hindus believe in reincarnation.) It resonated with what I have learned about Stoicism--which I also have an affinity for. Encouraging.

When Google Met Wikileaks by Julian Assange (2016)

Influenced me. Entertaining. Inspiring.

This book is (mostly) a transcript of a conversation between Julian Assange (founder of WikiLeaks) and Eric Schmidt (then CEO of Google, now CEO of Alphabet). So enriching. Assange opens up about all aspects of WikiLeaks: strategy, technology decisions, future vision. Schmidt is a smart guy and holds his own, seeming to ask all the right questions. Schmidt and Jared Cohen (who was also present) use some of the material in their book The New Digital Age. Assange feels that they misrepresent him in their book and is quite upset about that. That is unfortunate, but their conversation is nevertheless really great.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion (2005)

Influenced me.

The Year in the title of this book refers to the year in which Didion's husband dies suddenly from a heart attack and during which their daughter, Quintana, is hospitalized repeatedly over a period of several months with a series of life threatening medical conditions. Didion chronicles both the circumstances as they unfold and her internal state as she contends with them. The story is harrowing, but in the end, it gave me faith in how resilient people can be.

Vanity Fair: Justice: A father's account of the trial of his daughter's killer by Dominick Dunne (2008)

Influenced me. Outraged me.

Over brunch, my friend Ellie and I were discussing Joan Didion's book The Year of Magical Thinking (see above). Ellie suggested that I read an article in Vanity Fair by Didion's brother-in-law Dominick Dunne. Dunne's daughter had been strangled by her boyfriend; the article is Dunne's account of the trial. It suffices to say that justice was not served. (Didion's daughter, Quintana, and Dunne's daughter, Dominique, were close friends.)

Light in August by William Faulkner (1932)

Influenced me...perhaps deeply. Also disturbed me.

Stephen King--in On Writing--refers to William Faulkner as a genius-level writer. That sounded like a recommendation. The Internet told me that Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury was tough going and told me that I should read Light in August instead. Faulkner describes a set of characters who, despite their remarkable capabilities, are compelled inexorably toward their fates. The book is set in Mississippi during the prohibition era (1920s to early 1930s). Given the setting, I should have expected racism; when it finally arrives though, it is so disturbing, that I felt as though I had been ambushed.

The Death of Ivan Ilych by Leo Tolstoy (1886)

Influenced me.

This short book (132 pages) follows Ivan Ilych as he contracts an obscure illness that his doctors are unable to treat and which results in his relentless decline. The book deals mostly with Ivan's inner state during this process: How his mind grapples (or fails to grapple) with his inevitable death. It also presents some dark insight into how the realization of his impending death by others changes the way that they relate to him. Dark, but valuable.

Several short sentences about writing by Verlyn Klinkenborg (2012)

Wish I hadn't done this.

Klinkenborg provides guidance about writing by focusing on the sentence as the fundamental unit. I admit that I was empowered by his thoughts on how mindfulness applies to writing. That said, I found this book agonizing because of Klinkenborg's pompous tone. I know that is strong language coming from me, but by the end of this book I felt as though I deserved compensation for pain and suffering.

Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell (2019)

Influenced me...but not so much.

I've read all of Gladwell's books and despite the considerable praise given to this one, I found it to be the weakest of all of them. I think that, in this book, Gladwell is doing his part to mitigate the animosity that is becoming pervasive in our culture. His heart is in the right place, and although the book is thought-provoking, I was left mostly unconvinced.

Introduction to Probability by Blitzstein and Hwang (2019)

Deeply influenced me.

This is the textbook for the Probability and Statistics class that I took recently at the University of Washington. I would not normally include a textbook. However, this might be the best textbook that I've ever used. Blitzstein and Hwang are great teachers. Whenever I would get lost in class, I would read the textbook and it would heal my confusion. It is what a textbook should be.

END

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thecomedybureau · 5 years ago

Text

The 100 Best Things in Comedy We Were Witness to In No Particular Order of 2019

OK, 2019′s officially over and we’ve wrangled our 100 truly favorite things in and around comedy (and it really spans all of comedy) that are not ranked whatsoever. It’s just like the title says and, it’s, as it is every year, quite long, so we won’t waste any more time with this intro.

Oh, in case you forgot and/or curious and/or need a quick refresher, here’s our 2018 list.

1. Rory Scovel Live Without Fear-This documentary follows Rory Scovel and his journey through six nights of completely improvised hour sets. In a single word, it’s inspiring. You see the way Scovel truly connects the audience and keeps it that way through his indelible charm and endless curiosity. The near unbelievable story of the Relapse Theater in Atlanta is also beautifully threaded in the doc as well. The clips of the improvised performances capture the magic that stand-up comedy can be that’s absent from the majority of comedy specials. You should be required to see this whenever and wherever it comes if you have any level of interest in comedy at all.

2. Naomi Ekperigin-From her own stand-up, to her podcast with husband Andy Beckerman, Couples Therapy, and her writing across TV, and everything else she does, Naomi is such an thoroughly commanding, yet delightful presence that we love seeing every time anywhere (and she should already be way bigger of a star already).

3. Cait Raft’s Presentation on “Bradley Cooper’s a Star Is Born Takes Place in an Alternate Reality Where 9/11 Never Happened”-Witnessing the imagination of Cait Raft up close was a privilege for us. This amazing dissection of the zeitgeist left us in stitches and with our mouth agape for how thoroughly it proved its point.

4. Corporate Season 2-The second season of the ultra dark workplace comedy delivered once again on its hysterical nihilistic satire that’s so prescient, yet still so unbelievably funny.

5. Mom-Prov Presents Family Therapy-Improviser Izzy Roland was daring enough to have her mom and her grandmother, both of whom are also in showbiz, to join her on stage for one of the most madcap, fourth wall-breaking, entertaining improv shows we’ve seen all throughout 2019.

6. Jena Friedman-So, this year, Jena delivered yet again with her subtle delivery and calm demeanor that hides her absolutely killer jokes. The follow-up to her Adult Swim special, Soft Focus, upped the ante with an interview of a gun-toting John McAffee and her brilliant Conan set about everyone’s true crime obsession.

7. Brendon Walsh’s Afternoon Delight-This last year, Brendon Walsh let everyone know that he was and still is one of the best at pulling prank calls, which is so much harder now than it was even ten years ago. This live show actually has Brendon place live prank calls in between stand-ups and the ride you go on is absolutely thrilling.

8. Jacqueline Novak’s Get on Your Knees-Novak’s solo show has more than earned its spot as an Off-Broadway show with bringing such an exquisite, almost never before seen comedic sensibility to the topic of blow jobs.

9. #F*ckF*ckJerry-Props to Vulture Senior Editor Megh Wright for sparking the fire to take out the egregious social media accounts of F*ck Jerry that just lifted jokes from comedians all across the Internet without pay or attribution.

10. Lorelei Ramirez-We’ve known distantly about Lorelei Ramirez for so many years, but seeing them up close was a breathtaking experience that had us laughing so hard. Their artistry in comedy that gracefully borders on performance art and even horror is absolutely inspiring.

11. Aaron Urist-Denver’s Aaron Urist is such a killer joke writer and joke teller and has been for years. We just were reminded about that with his burning bush joke during his latest LA trip.

12. Booksmart-Olivia Wilde’s directorial debut was not only a reinvigorated take on movies that specifically hone in on the end of high school, but also had a sincerely hopeful vision of the future generation. We hope that Booksmart finds its way to the top of the coming-of-age comedy films pantheon.

13. Rachel Mac on Lights Out-One of the highlights of Lights Out with David Spade is how unfiltered and raunchy they let comics get during their sets on the show. Rachel Mac took that amount of comedic license and thrived in getting into the nitty gritty about her last teaching job.

14. What We Do In The Shadows-The FX TV adaptation of the seminal Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement film in 2014 exceedingly succeeds in nailing the comedy of minutia in the world of the undead that also happens to be in a (somewhat) grounded reality.

15. PEN15-Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle’s vision of 2000 and their performances as teens were so spot on that PEN15 would deserve acclaim just for that. However, the heart of this show made its humor stand out in an ever crowded field of coming-of-age comedy.

16. Tiffany Haddish’s Black Mitzvah-A lot has happened for Tiffany Haddish since her last special (she’s a legit A-list celebrity now), but it’s clear that she is still her unapologetically positively, life loving self. This special is evidence of that, especially with her bit about her New Year’s show that she got undeserved flack for.

17. Straw Men-Lindsay Adams, Danny Palumbo, and Sam Wiles (and producer Kimmie Lucas) put on what is our favorite imagining of a comedic debate that we’ve seen thus far. The encouragement to make the most ridiculous, baseless arguments and being transparent about the whole thing is a golden goose of comedy.

18. The ending of Gloria Bell-Well, we can’t very well give away the ending to this English language dramedy remake from Sebastián Lelio that has Julianne Moore shine as bright as she has ever shone before, but just know that we stood out of our seats, applauding what she did to John Turturro right at the end.

19. I Think You Should Leave-Tim Robinson’s unflinchingly absurd sketch series unequivocally has many of the best sketches of 2019. The hot dog costume and Mexican restaurant sketches will have us busting up through, very likely, the next decade.

20. Les Miz and Friends-Bonkers (and we mean that in the best way possible) doesn’t begin to describe how wild this meta and great this puppet and human hybrid take on the theater institution of Les Miserables. The sheer cleverness on every level is awe-inspiring.

21. Dave Ross’ The Only Man Who Has Ever Had Sex-Ross has been a longtime favorite of ours for the contrasting bounciness and darkness of his comedy. His debut album captures this dichotomy perfectly.

22. Nikki Glaser: Bangin’-Nikki Glaser’s first Netflix hour special started off with a bang, pun intended. Her frank, but heartfelt exploration of all facets of sex is so damn funny that Glaser gets away with being as blue as she wants.

23. Super Dating Simulator-This live, interactive version of various Japanese video game dating simulators is one of the more innovative and surprisingly charming things we saw this year. Creator Sam Weller did a bang-up job not only making a video game work as a stage show, but doing so with a very off-beat sub-genre of video games

24. Emmy Blotnick’s Party Nights-Blotnick’s latest album shows Emmy at the peak of her delightful observational powers. The concept of a “Self-Potato” is just priceless.

25. Tammercise!-Folks in comedy are getting all sorts of clever these days to redefine traditional formats and disciplines and push the art form forward. Madeline Wager does this exquisitely with a solo show of a woman unraveling that doubles as legit aerobics class.

26. The Cherry Orchard w/Chad Damiani and Jet Eveleth-Damiani and Eveleth explore a new angle on postmodern clowning by supposedly doing a Chekov play going through dress rehearsal without any of the players knowing what they’re supposed to do. The back and forth between the live direction and the tomfoolery on stage is truly hysterical.

27. Bake Stuff with Lindsay LIVE-It’s about time for a comedic cooking show that actually does teach you a wonderful recipe and also explores and resolves(?) childhood trauma. Lindsay Adams’ Bake Stuff with Lindsay, which we indeed saw live, accomplishes all of that and inspires all those watching to cook through their feelings.

28. Shalewa Sharpe’s So, You Just Out Here?-Shalewa imbues homespun wisdom with marvelously colorful descriptions all throughout this very satisfying album.

29. The Amazing Johnathan Documentary from Ben Berman-The Amazing Johnathan’s life story is pretty captivating as is. The story about Ben Berman trying to tell his story amidst several other people trying to tell his story is absolutely engrossing and is somehow all true.

30. Julio Torres’ HBO special “My Favorite Shapes”-Torres’ special is simultaneously one of the most daring and silly hour specials in recent memory and his elevation of prop comedy to a whole new level is to be commended.

31. The Underculture with James Adomian-James Adomian has been one of comedy podcasts’ most in-demand and bright shining stars. It comes as no surprise that his own podcast that revs up all his characters has some of the best, most dynamic, absurdist interviews in political and pop culture satire.

32. Daniel Van Kirk’s Thanks Diane/Together Tour-Van Kirk’s first, complete hour that he both toured with and released as an album is so impressive with how deftly Dan manages a balance of sincerity and mischief from wire-to-wire.

33. Conan in Greenland-Conan marvelously turns his travel specials series Conan Without Borders on its head by attempting to buy Greenland based off of Trump’s stupid tweets.

34. Mary Beth Barone’s Drag His Ass: A F*ckboy Treatment Program-Mary Beth Barone’s live show exploration into her dating life is illuminating and hilarious throughout, but the actual interview that she does live with a “f*ckboy” is transcendent.

35. Obvious Plant’s Carnival of Toys-Jeff Wysaski AKA Obvious Plant really outdid himself this year in his quest to permeate everyday reality with a satirical twist. He not only made a whole line of custom toy figures that satirize pop culture on so many levels, but opened up a whole pop-up museum for several days to exhibit them in all of their bizarre glory.

36. Sports Without Equipment with Coach Keith Alejo-This Dress Up Gang sketch is one of those ideas that are simple, yet so out-of-left-field. Literally, they take sports without equipment to its funniest conclusion.

37. #Squatmelt-Howard Kremer’s desire to keep the spirit of The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail alive has evolved into its own very special thing in the form of a DIY stand-up comedy show/walking tour that periodically migrates around LA.

38. Catch-22-Trying to adapt such a monumental literary work like Catch-22 is almost a fool’s errand, but writers Luke Davies and David Michôd do a smash-up job for not only bringing Heller’s immortal words to life, but also sticking the landing for all the darkly absurdly comical moments that run rampant throughout the story.

39. Get Rich Nick-Even if they didn’t have the fantastic banter, riffs, and asides from the very funny duo of Nick Turner and Nick Vatterott, this podcast that explores how to make money real quick is one of the best new podcasts of the whole year. Fortunately, Nick and Nick’s humor runs rampant through every episode and makes Get Rich Nick engrossing and makes you actually laugh out loud.

40. MK Paulsen-The comedy of MK Paulsen can be faster than a bullet, but as satisfyingly silly as a gun that shoots a flag with the word ‘bang’ on it. Every time we see him do stand-up, it’s a fun, rollicking ride that’s equal parts offbeat whimsy, clever wordplay, and an agile sense of timing and play.

41. Father Figurine by Matt Kazman-The dour faces of the family in this dark comedy short play to the highest comedic effect perfectly. A dead patriarch and an apathetic family make for some of the best dry humor in 2019.

42. Funk Shuffle-Danny Cymbal, Dennis Curlett, and Michael Gardner comprise Funk Shuffle, an improv group that manages fly freer and more untethered than almost any other improv group that we’ve ever seen. They make their defiance and experimentation with improv forms really work due to the trio’s unflinchingly playful spirit.

43. Gary Gulman’s The Great Depresh-Gulman, as one of comedy’s premier craftsman, of course, delivers an hour of stellar comedy with this special. He also manages, this time around, to destigmatize depression and, in general, be hopeful. That particular comedy trifecta is such an impressive feat that very few can accomplish.

44. Greener Grass-The scope and ambition of Jocelyn DeBoer and Dawn Luebbe’s directorial debut hints at some really special things to come from them in the future. Their absolutely demented, pastel drenched absurdist vision was a shocking delight through and through.

45. Jenny Slate’s Stage Fright-Slate’s best comedic strength is her unshakeable vulnerability. This hour special lets Jenny present that trait as intimately as she has ever presented it and gives an in-depth look as to where that hilarious vulnerability comes from.

46. Heather Anne Campbell swatting a baby out of someone’s hands in an improv scene-At this point, it should come as no surprise that Heather Anne Campbell is one of our absolute all-time favorite people in comedy and thus, she kind of just ends up making it on this list annually on her own someway, somehow. This year, during a performance of her improv group, Heather and Company, we laughed as hard as we’ve ever laughed at Drew DiFonzo Marks initiating a scene by rocking a baby back and forth and then, Heather insanely swatted it out of his hands and stomped on it. It sounds ludicrous, but trust that Heather made that so unbelievably funny.

47. Adam Cayton-Holland’s Happy Place-Cayton-Holland’s live solo show based on his critically acclaimed book of the same name pulls off oscillating between cleverly wrought and self-aware comedy and some of the most heartbreaking stories you’ll ever hear about his late sister. Holland’s focus and calm make it all miraculously blend together.

48. The Authorized Unauthorized My Favorite Murder Musical-In the world of unauthorized musicals about things that you wouldn’t really think about being adapted into unauthorized musicals (it’s a bigger ever-burgeoning world every month it seems), the staged reading of this My Favorite Murder-inspired musical that we saw was phenomenal. The full stage production to come in 2020 will undoubtedly be something really great.

49. Pedro Gonzalez-Pedro’s jokes are so expertly written and crafted that you forget that he immigrated to America as a teenager from Colombia and learned English as a second language.

50. Garry Starr Performs Everything-UK comedian Garry Starr’s solo show is a genius send-up and celebration of theater as a whole. The physicality and the sheer madness of the whole show are so thoroughly hysterical.

51. Kira Soltanovich-We just want to take a moment to appreciate the agility of the comedy of Kira Soltanovich. Not only does Kira play any room or any show as far as we’ve seen, but her drive is just unstoppable (see ep. of The Honey Dew).

52. Mike Birbiglia’s The New One-Though it seems almost too routine that Birbiglia comes out with a new hour special that garners tons of acclaim for its ornate and complex and, ultimately, very satisfying tapestry of stories, Birbiglia delivers exactly once again with one such solo show/special on fatherhood.

53. Michelle Buteau-We saw Michelle headline just a few months ago at Dynasty Typewriter and were reminded of just how good Buteau is. She combines being heartfelt, having a fun bit of attitude, and an absolute command of the stage in such a beautiful way.

54. Gareth Reynolds’ Riddled with Disease-Many folks know how great Gareth is from his madcap riffing on The Dollop, but Reynolds shows he is fantastic with a sharp, hilarious, yet still fast-and-loose-feeling hour.

55. Sara Schaefer’s LIVE LAUGH LOVE-Sara, above most folks working in comedy today, goes to great lengths to be considerate, inclusive, and vulnerable in her comedy and it’s so, so wonderful because of that. This album is yet another great example of that mix.

56. Sean Patton’s Scuttlebutt-Sean Patton’s latest album is a fantastic note to any and all that Sean is, hands down, one of the best comedians ever to spin a yarn (and also share some damn fine true stories) and deserves way more accolade and attention for that now and going forward.

57. Matt Rogers’ Have You Heard of Christmas?-Rogers had quite a 2019 in putting culture on notice, but his queer and subversive holiday musical extravaganza might be one of the best pieces of holiday themed comedy of all time.

58. The Chris Gethard Show with Robby Hoffman-Not only does Robby Hoffman keep the punk rock, conventions-be-damned spirit of TCGS alive, but she makes it so much her own and lets her hilarious, domineering persona transform the show into another very special, unique round of controlled chaos.

59. The taping of Eddie Pepitone’s latest special-Eddie’s sound and fury and his irreverent stream-of-consciousness-seeming comedy were flawless in this latest hour. Everyone in attendance, including ourselves, were in stitches for the whole taping. Props to director Steven Feinartz for one of our favorite looks of a special that we saw last year (which you’ll all get to see soon in 2020).

60. Eric Dadourian’s closer on Nebraska 2-Dadourian is always all in for the sake of a real bold, imaginative bit and, as such, pulled off one of our favorite closers of the year on his very first full length album.

61. Jessica Kirson: Talking to Myself-Kirson’s hour special on Comedy Central really let Jessica cut loose and let her showcase her stand-up expertise. From the way that Kirson contorts her face to her deep well of voices/characters to razor-sharp quick wit to, of course, her signature asides to herself, Jessica really kills it in this hour.

62. Brody Stevens-Long live the “jock doing performance art” comedy (one of our favorite descriptions of Brody’s comedy by his dear friend Zach Galifianakis) and may he rest in peace. Yeeeees! Enjoy It!

63. Byron Bowers on Colbert-Byron Bowers and his clever, yet sincere, dark, vulnerable comedy put up one of our favorite late night sets this year. From the opening to his frank jokes about his dad make us think that it’s just a little crazy that this is his network TV debut.

64. Desus and Mero on Showtime-With the upgrade of being on Showtime, Desus Nice and The Kid Mero are having the most fun in late night with the freshest voices and format (and they’re able to pull that off with only being twice a week).

65. Fleabag Season 2-creator and star Phoebe Waller-Bridge assuredly has more masterpieces ahead of her, but managing to top herself from one masterpiece season of dark romantic dramedy with another one is something that deserves all the accolades and awards that it has gotten.

66. Kenny DeForest on Corden-Kenny dismantles toxic masculinity so incisively through the whole set that he most certainly earns all the applause breaks he gets the whole way through.

67. Josh Gondelman’s Dancing on a Weeknight-Gondelman is often thought of as one of the best, sweetest people in comedy. This latest album, for all of its being clever and genuine, is proof that he indeed really is that sweet and funny.

68. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Season 3-The perennial prestige comedy from Amy Sherman-Palladino earns its keep by having some of the best writing (it’s almost impossible to write jokes that are contextualized for the 50s/60s and make them actually funny for 2019 audiences) and also being one of the most gorgeous looking shows in all of television.

69. Nick Ciarelli and Brad Evans-Whether it be pulling pranks on Twitter, their plethora of hysterical sketches doing an impression of Jack FM on shows around town, or their monthly live sketch character showcase Atlantic City, Nick and Brad are a damn fine comedy duo and have been for quite some time.

70. Caitlin Gill’s Major-It’s quite the magic trick to make an hour of comedy that’s entirely clean and have it being clean not be a thought that you’re thinking about at all when listening or watching it. Caitlin Gill spectacularly does just that with this album as Gill can make all of her earnest rants, imagery, and observations work in any way that she needs to.

71. 97.9 The Rat Race-Ben Roy’s satirical reimagining of a morning radio “zoo crew” is so spot on, then gets real twisted to make this one of the most surprising and rewarding podcasts of 2019.

72. Mike Lane’s Picture Frames-This short film from Lane heightens the idea of remembering those you love after they’ve left this mortal coil to such a ridiculous level every step of the way (and is more and more enjoyably unpredictable the further it goes).

73. Paige Weldon on Corden-Paige’s upbeat self-deprecation is just hard to resist and it makes the best impression in this late night set on The Late Late Show with James Corden.

74. The Righteous Gemstones-Danny McBride’s latest HBO series that darkly and comically dissects the South might be his most ambitious yet, but, of course, he nails it. The constant suspense perpetuated by hysterically tragic characters in the world of televangelists is profound.

75. My Friend Chuck-Comedic erotica author Chuck Tingle (one of the absolutely most unique voices and cadences we’ve heard in awhile) and friend McKenzie Goodwin celebrate their friendship every week for a podcast that’s preposterously funny and, also, more heartwarming than almost anything we’ve heard or seen.

76. Joey Clift’s Telling People You’re Native American When You’re Not Native Is a Lot Like Telling a Bear You’re a Bear When You’re Not a Bear-Clift makes such biting, pun intended, commentary with this short film/PSA that is also so playful that the message about Native identity will undoubtedly stick with you.

77. Megan Gailey’s My Dad Paid For This-Gailey strikes a wonderful balance of charm and attitude and fervent desire to burn down the patriarchy. Such a mix accents her very delightful observations about herself and the world around her in this marvelous debut album.

78. Robin Higgins as Baby Yoda at Tournament of Nerds-Higgins might have made one of the best, first attempts at Baby Yoda cosplay. She also, for what’s supposed to be a roast-style competition between fictional/pop culture characters, perfectly imagined how Baby Yoda would roast someone while maintaining Baby Yoda’s sweetness that has captured the hearts and minds of the Internet.

79. The Man Who Killed Don Quixote-Terry Gilliam went through hell, did a few laps, and came back over several years to get this meta-quixotic tale about reimagining the legendary novel Don Quixote made. The finished film, for us, was worth the wait.

80. Jo Firestone on The Tonight Show-Jo’s sense of play is so pure and present that it’s kind of irresistible. Combined with a perfect amount of self-deprecation, Jo really delivered a terrific set we’ll probably never get tired of.

81. Paul Rudd continues his time honored tradition of playing that one clip of Mac & Me on Conan-Rudd evolves the arc of this long running bit on Conan where, instead of playing a clip of what he’s on Conan to promote, he plays the same exact clip of the universally panned alien comedy Mac & Me. We all know what’s coming and yet, without the benefit of surprise, Rudd’s annoyance of Conan still keeps on being so damn funny.

82. Billy on the Street featuring Reese and Mariah-This year, we were lucky enough to get two instantly classic episodes of Billy on the Street with Reese Witherspoon and Mariah Carey that gave us our fix for our obsession with Billy Eichner yelling at strangers on the streets of NYC.

83. The Dollop England & UK-As Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds embarked on an entire England & UK tour of The Dollop, they thought it prudent to do a mini-series specific to Great Britain and did a smashing job making fun of British history. The Cyril the Swan episode is particularly brilliant.

84. Lost Moon Radio-The live musical sketch comedy theater troupe (Lost Moon Radio truly lives up to such a description) marked their 10th anniversary and put on an absolutely fantastic “Summer Block Party” this year that both showed that they still got their ingenious musical sketch comedy chops.

85. Nate Bargatze’s The Tennessee Kid-The calm with which Bargatze pervades all of his comedy is part of what makes it beloved by nearly any and all that see or hear Bargatze’s stand-up. That’s such the case now that Nate gives updates to stories from previous specials on this latest hour.

86. Beth Stelling on Kimmel-Every detail of this set on Jimmy Kimmel Live is pretty stellar. That includes Beth, in general, for her warm demeanor, smile, and cleverness, the Chippendale’s story, Beth’s mom being there in the crowd, and, of course, the surprise guest at the end.

87. Liz Climo’s Please Don’t Eat Me-This illustrated book is just the latest in a long line of uber-adorable and genuinely-funny-for-all-ages books from Climo. Liz seems to have quite the knack for making unlikely animal friendship jokes.

88. John Hodgman’s Medallion Status-Hodgman’s journey through the various statuses of airline privilege/celebrity is a superb serving of existential humor, done up with Hodgman’s painstaking attention to the exactly right details.

89. Jane Curtin’s 2019 New Year’s Resolution “My New Year’s Resolution Is To Make Sure The Republican Party Dies”-Said during a CNN interview with the SNL alum, this was the first thing to make us heartily laugh in 2019.

90. Alex Kavutskiy’s Squirrel-Kavutskiy’s short film dives into the concept of forgiveness unlike we’ve really seen and, as is Kavutskiy’s style, is so darkly spellbinding and so pointedly funny at the same time.

91. Astronomy Club: The Sketch Show-The long running comedy troupe known as Astronomy Club really ran with their chance to do a full-fledged sketch series on Netflix. They’re so endlessly clever on in their sketches, especially when it comes to the subjects of identity and oppression, and pack in so many jokes and sight gags that you’ll definitely want to watch it more than once so you don’t miss anything.

92. Dolemite Is My Name-Eddie Murphy seems poised to make a real return to comedy (and stand-up comedy in particular) and this marvelous biopic of comedian and blaxploitation star Rudy Ray Moore AKA Dolemite is the perfect way to start.

93. Anna Drezen on Corden-Drezen has such a perfect sense of farce and misdirection and puts on a beautiful display of those two things from start to finish in this set on The Late Late Show with James Corden.

94. BUTT’s Yoda themed dating app sketch-This sketch is so prescient of the resurgence of the world’s current (baby) Yoda obsession. Also, while this is so absurd with its deep dive into various Yoda fan art and cosplay, Joe McAdam and Chris Stephens’ take on dating apps is so sharply and deeply funny.

95. Mel Brooks Unwrapped-The never ending bit of attempting a documentary between Mel Brooks and the BBC’s Alan Yentob is yet another display of the true, unquestionable genius of Mel Brooks.

96. 50 First Stephs-The amazing, hysterical Steph Tolev kicked off 2019 with a show where 50 or so of her compatriots and contemporaries did various impressions and characterizations of her. Part roast, part loving tribute, part amazing showcase of the depth of creativity in LA comedy, Tolev’s night for herself was something really special.

97. The Bongo Hour with Sandy Honig and Peter Smith-Honig and Smith brought their wild variety show that featured such wonderful bits, characters, drag, and burlesque to LA and showed, truly, how much better life is when you’re fluid about nearly everything.

98. How Did This Get Played?-Hosts Nick Wiger and Heather Anne Campbell and their take on the “worst and weirdest” video games do their namesake, the beloved How Did This Get Made?, proud. Even if you’re not a gamer, the way they dissect the most bizarre video games ever made along with Heather and Nick’s chemistry is very, very enjoyable.

99. Joe Pera Talks With You Season 2-This second season of Joe Pera’s unique talk-to-the-viewer series is so calming that the comedic twists sneak up in the most delightful way possible. There is a certain beauty to Pera’s show that makes us want to have Joe Pera Talks With You playing on a loop in a contemporary art museum.

100. John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch-John Mulaney does “it”, yet again. “It” being releasing another hour of comedic brilliance that’s so markedly different than whatever he did before, yet, somehow still stamped with an indelible mark of Mulaney’s comedy of obtuse hyper-specificity.

#top 100 #100 best #best of 2019 #2019 comedy #best sketch #best stand up #best improv #best comedy specials

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fordarkisthesuede · 6 years ago

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The Tolls Of Justice - Chapter 3

*throws confetti* IT’S DOOOONNNNEEEEEE! (I barely beat my deadline, huzzah!!!)

Sorry for the long, long wait. I apparently needed to recharge my internal batteries... But here we go!

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Important Spoiler Tags: drug mention, prostitution & stripping mentions, gun mention, violent thoughts, therapy sessions

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[Chapter 3: Ink Trails]

John was finding it difficult to concentrate on what he was supposed to be doing.

He couldn’t help it. He’d made the mistake of looking at recent Gotham news, hoping for something new in the murder case every newspaper and station seemed to be going on about, but he’d scrolled too far down his news feed.

You Won’t Believe What This Arkham Orderly’s Seen - Bruce Wayne and ‘Joker’ not ‘just friends’!

Dr. Leland had warned him that people would speculate about his relationships with others. Especially Bruce, given Bruce’s social standings and John’s lack thereof. Bruce himself had said his team of lawyers were well-equipped to stop this sort of gossip from spreading; he’d proved it the last time one of the tabloids had printed such a thing, getting it redacted with an apology from the paper itself.

But that was before they actually had a relationship.

Bruce was careful. He’d never said anything or done anything romantic while John was locked away, with the exception of his first post-Scarecrow visit, when the power and cameras were turned off for those few minutes. And last Saturday, of course, but did it really count when they were so far from Arkham’s nosey orderlies and any prying eyes? The article clearly stressed Arkham orderly.

But John had been good. He’d kept the real them a secret, even from his Arkham doctors. Even from his current doctors. Sure, he’d occasionally give a slightly suggestive comment when he and Bruce had the rare chance to be completely alone, but no one could have possibly overheard them. As much as he wanted to shout it from the rooftops, John understood that any question about potential tampering with his recovery process could land him right back into another involuntary stay at Arkham.

And he’d die sooner than face that.

Unable to stop himself, he ignored the pair of shorts still waiting for a proper hem and skimmed through the thing, keeping in mind that Bruce would no doubt bring the hammer down on the Gotham Moonrise regardless of the details.

Anonymous Arkham orderly claims to have inside knowledge regarding the relationship between John Doe, alias ‘Joker’, and Bruce Wayne, blah blah blah... “Reports to have seen Bruce pay off themselves and other orderlies in exchange for uninterrupted time in John’s cell on multiple occasions”?

“Hah, I wish,” John muttered to himself, closing the article as his anxiety starting to ebb away. A lot of money must have exchanged hands to be bold enough to make that claim on paper. Bruce’s team of three-piece suits were probably already on their way to the Gotham Moonrise’s editorial department with a nice large lawsuit.

He skimmed through further. There was an old close-circuit-camera picture in the middle, taken in the nicer of Arkham’s two visitor rooms - John and Bruce were sitting together at the table, watching something on Bruce’s phone. Bruce had been showing him one of the old Gray Ghost serials up on UBox upon learning that John had only ever seen bits and pieces of the nearly thirty-year-old cartoon reboot from bloggr posts. John didn’t see how that qualified as them ‘getting cozy’, as the caption put it, considering they had to stay a minimum of a foot apart at all times inside there.

He breathed out slowly, like he was supposed to, but it didn’t stop him from wanting to fidget. He pulled up his favorite picture of Bruce. He was walking down the steps of the courthouse after his first hearing regarding last year’s mess, looking determined and impossibly handsome in what John knew to be his second-favorite suit, the black with dark gray pinstripes. There was nothing about the angle or lighting that was wrong: it was perfect, like him. “It’s nothing, John,” he told himself in his best imitation of Bruce’s smooth, deep tone, “They won’t throw you back in on idle gossip.”

“You’re right,” he answered in a whisper. He kissed the tip of his index finger and tapped it over Bruce’s face. “I’m worrying over nothing,” he said firmly. The more he said it, the more he believed it.

The feed above that article had some of the usual fair regarding celebrity socialites cheating on their significant others and some minor political scandal, but then - boom, third article down: Missing man’s body found near East Docks.

John wasn’t sure how to feel. He was excited there was something new, but he couldn’t help but think he shouldn’t be happy over a stranger’s death. The thought might as well have Dr. Leland’s voice attached, telling him to think of how it would feel to lose someone he cared about, and apply that. The stranger might have been a criminal, but he could’ve been someone else’s Bruce Wayne.

But John didn’t cause this one. It was a force beyond his control. He didn’t have to feel bad about it. Hell, it might have been justified. Maybe Muddy Nye had done far worse things than distribute toxic garbage to the masses through organized crime.

The scar on his palm peeked out over the edge of his phone.

...or maybe Muddy was someone’s John Doe.

John opened the article, finding a video on top. That would be much faster than reading.

He recognized the newscaster - Faith Ackart, who had covered his recent court proceedings with barely a smidge more kindness than Jonathan Crane’s. A real go-getter in the journalistic field with apparently very little fashion sense; her top was so bright it made the blush on her cheeks look severe.

“You think your morning’s bad, be thankful you aren’t Lou Monger - a task that should’ve taken two minutes turned into nearly two hours after Lou went to take out the trash and found a body in his business’ dumpster.”

The camera cut, showing the police tape draped across an alley and a dumpster underneath a fire escape in the background, where the aforementioned man stood in front of it with the microphone almost shoved in his face.

That was the exact alleyway he was yesterday morning. The same dumpster with the dent on top, the same fire escape, the same graffitti in the background… He could practically smell the rotting fish carcasses.

“I just open the lid, ready to throw on more crap, and this guy’s just layin’ there, dead as a doornail,” Lou explained, looking angrily flummoxed, “I got a business to run and now I gotta leave my customer’s hangin’ for two hours during prime-time! I open the lid, guy’s got a new hole in his head - what else do you gotta know?”

The camera cut back to Faith, standing across the street from the police line. The body had already been removed.

“What Lou didn’t know was that the body was that of Muddy Nye, who police believe to be connected to the van explosion by the East Docks on Tuesday morning - where an anonymous witness says they spotted Batman nearby only minutes before. G.C.P.D. decline to comment on whether or not the group killed in the explosion are connected to those found aboard the Chandis, and on the supposed Batman sighting.”

John drummed his fingers against the table surface. A wannabe-mobster shot in the head, a la execution style…

And suddenly, like a trigger pulled in his head, he realized that both he and Tiffany had used the fire escape. She might have used the dumpster. There had been no rain the night before to wash any of their trace evidence away, and the cops were likely going to comb over the alley for anything useful.

That was bad. Real bad. Especially if Tiffany had caused that dent in the top of the lid. Especially-especially since he’d been walking around when he technically shouldn’t have been.

Tiff please tell me you didn’t use the dumpster as leverage yesterday!! He texted, unable to stop his leg from bouncing anxiously.

For what?

The fire escape??? Muddy’s dead

He’s LITERALLY sleeping with the fishes in that dumpster

I touched the fire escape and our prints are gonna be all over the ladder!!!!!

Hang on

How could John hang onto anything? They would have known he left work, and they’d question his boss, who would no doubt lie and say he snuck out to cover his own ass, they’d question him, and they’d suspect John heavily for no other reason than his past history and they’d throw him back in.

He could feel his heart racing. He didn’t want to go back to Arkham. How many exclamation points after that did he have to use to drive that point home?

Okay so 1 I didn’t use the dumpster, I jumped like a normal person, and 2 chill out. Traffic cam got conveniently jammed around 2am so they definitely planned to dump it. They’ll just check the dumpster

John breathed deep, trying to relax. She had a point. Why check the fire escape if the killer dumped the body like a pro?

3 sleeping with the fishes?? That is a terrible pun wtf

But it’s not wrong!! He texted, This has classic mob hit all over it.

“Actually…” It did, didn’t it? He could practically see the plan in his head: kidnap to get information, shoot in the head to stop any squealing, drop off at a planned dumping ground a good distance away…with fish, no less. They didn’t go to the harbor where the message would be crystal-clear, despite the large stretch of it not occupied by cops... Yet with a million dumpsters in the city to choose from, and they went to a dumpster with fish?

It was as if…

“It is a joke,” he muttered to himself, believing it more firmly as the words left his growing grin. It was a terrible, tongue-in-cheek sort of gag.

The whole thing was something he couldn’t help but laugh at, escalating from titters to a low cackle.

He tried to stifle it with his hand; the manager was rather keen on a quiet workplace, and he knew ‘random laughing’ had a more negative connotation when he was the one doing it.

The back-room door swung open on queue, and Mr. Prinya stuck his head in. “John, keep it down,” he whispered in a rush, “I’ve got a customer.”

“S-sorry,” John managed, swirling in his chair as he slyly slid his phone underneath the pile of orders, “I just remembered a funny meme.”

The older man frowned like a stern parent. “You’re not on your phone at work, are you?”

“Me? Never. You know, idle hands and all that,” he lied, holding up both hands and wiggling his fingers to show he was empty-handed. “If they’re here for the shorts, tell them to wait - thread got stuck again.”

Mr. Prinya eyed him, his suspicion waning into something like concern. “You need it unstuck?”

“Nah, I’ll get it.”

“Okay...just keep it down.”

“Yes, sir,” John affirmed with a little salute.

The second the manager was gone, John put his phone on silent and slid it back into his pocket. He didn’t really like straight-up lying to people he didn’t dislike, but he tried to think of it like lying to the Arkham staff - if it meant he and his secrets were safe, then it was acceptable.

The door didn’t quite close - it had a habit of not sticking without being given a little slam. He could hear the annoyingly digital door chime and the last customer’s cheery goodbye through the crack in the door. And then another not a moment later, as tinny and loud as ever.

“Ah, good morn-” There was a brief pause. “Good morning, Mr. Nito,” Mr. Prinya said, his accent becoming a little thicker on the ‘i’s and ‘o’s.

“My vest ready?” A somewhat gruff voice replied.

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but John was more of a hyena person anyway. He had no problem taking a peek to satisfy the itch to know.

Mr. Prinya’s small shoulders were clearly tense. The customer looked the rough type, with shaved eyebrows, barbell brow-piercings, and a nose ring. He seemed to have a tan, but the facial features and complete lack of any other underlying accent indicated that he was probably only a little less white than John.

“Yes…” Mr. Prinya sorted through the rack. He was at least a head shorter than ‘Mr. Nito’; what would that make him, five-eleven? Or six? “Here it is.”

“I hope you know I ain’t leavin’ ‘til I know it’s safe.”

There was little doubt it wasn’t drugs; probably coke or heroin, given how much was carefully distributed in the fabric. Or it could’ve been something new hitting the streets.

John thought back to Vicki Vale and her little drug-ring; he’d gotten used to passing information along to Bruce, hadn’t he? His first instinct was to tell him. The handsome billionaire might not be directly involved this time, but it was certainly something he’d be interested in...and probably thank him for.

John could barely see the lumps in the cloth as Mr. Prinya brought to the counter. It looked like an old police-grade bullet proof vest - it wasn’t as big as the SWAT ones he’d seen on TV, or the one he’d worn last year.

He had a good angle. Bruce’s tech had that fancy facial-recognition software on it. It’d be easy to find him through that - or just by combing over his tattoos. One could be one for a recognizable gang.

Flash off, zoom in, and...snap!

The vest was laid carefully on the table. “Of course it’s safe,” Mr. Prinya assured.

Mr. Nito - if that was his real name - snorted. “For all I know you could’ve done shoddy seams on purpose.”

“Of course-” Mr. Prinya stopped himself short.

The tattooed man glared at him. “Of course what? You got somethin’ to say?”

The rudeness of him was one thing, but the way the guy touched his belt, like he was going for a gun, really rubbed John the wrong way. He could see the handle of a blocky pistol under the guy’s unseasonable zippered jacket. He didn’t have to pull it out - open-faced threats of death like that just made John think of the bridge incident, and that memory was one that still made his blood boil.

“No,” Mr. Prinya responded with a slight hitch. “Of course you may look.”

Tamper you instincts, they would say. He tucked his phone away and clutched his hands. Clench, release, clench...

Calm down. (Hard to do that when he knew all too well what it felt like to be on either sides of a gun barrel. There was too much power behind them.)

Think of your future, Dr. Leland had advised months and months ago.

...Bruce...wouldn’t want him to go out there. If the guy talked, people might know where he worked. His private life was meant to be private until he was officially released.

But Bruce would surely have taken a bullet for him. And he wouldn’t have let that...that scumbag just walk around acting like he could just do whatever the hell he wanted.

He mentally crossed ‘hiding’ off his list of options. He certainly wouldn’t go in there and just punch the guy - there’d be too much collateral damage.

John would play it cool. Confident. Things were different - he was different. He could do that. Be that.

(He’d save the gory imagery of the guy clutching the bleeding stumps of his fingers for a mental replay later.)

So he clutched the door-handle and made a show of entering, swinging the door wide - not too wide - with a random piece of clothing tucked under his arm. “Hey, boss-man-” He cut himself off as appropriate, pretending to just see the ‘customer’ behind the counter. The man’s eyes flashed to him, hard at first, and then widening with recognition. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t know we had company!” He flashed a grin Mr. Nito’s way.

He looked less horrified than John would have wanted. Not the ‘oh my God, it’s that crazy guy from the news last year’ that John expected. More like John was someone he knew, and he just didn’t expect to see him there. Or really, more of a ‘you look weird, and I’m suddenly not sure of what dimension I’m in’ sort of stare.

Mr. Prinya, on the other hand, looked almost disbelievingly surprised to see him. “D-did you need something, John?” He asked, his accent just as thick as before.

“That darn machine is still stuck,” he lied, “My butterfingers can’t untangle the threads as easily as you.” He wiggled his free set of fingers to show how noodley they were. It wasn’t completely untrue, which sold the bit better - he usually got so frustrated when the knots wouldn’t untie that he’d end up cutting them out nine times out of ten.

Mr. Nito’ had tugged his jacket back over his pistol. He was still staring at John. Thinking about how much of a risk it was to deal with the Arkham loon. He’d fought Batman and lived. He could be armed. Even if he wasn’t, he was fast, and who knew if he cared about collateral damage?

John stared right back, feigning curiosity. “Is there something on my face?” He asked as innocently as possible while imagining the guy’s hands being slammed on the counter and stuck there with the whole tomato of pins.

He wouldn’t be able to reach for his gun if his hands were pinned. The thought was so funny it almost made him laugh; he could feel his grin widen.

Mr. Nito looked away and gathered the vest under his arm as quickly as possible, looking like he was trying to hold a toddler on his hip. “If this falls apart on me, it’ll be your fault,” he emphasized at Mr. Prinya, glaring with less machismo than before, “Hope you’ll remember that,” he huffed.

He turned and left, leaving John to titter under his breath at how the tough-guy act had dissolved into an immature little bark. The obnoxious doorbell went off and the man disappeared into the city with a disgruntled scowl.

Mr. Prinya watched him go, only relaxing when the man was out of sight. He muttered something incomprehensible in a relieved breath.

“Yeesh, what a weirdo... Whelp, I’ll be in back if you need me!” John spun on his heel, two steps into his return to his lonely work when Mr. Prinya spoke.

“John,” Mr. Prinya said in a similar sort of tone to the one Bruce used when he wanted John to stop and think for a moment, “You shouldn’t…” He paused, thinking further, seeming to soften with every passing moment. John waited for him to finish. “Thank you.”

“It was nothing,” John said honestly. It wasn’t as if he’d actually done anything outside of show his infamous face. He decided to gamble and ask the big question rather than let the chance slip away. “Who was that guy, anyway?”

Mr. Prinya eyed him. He had that sort of gentle-letdown look Dr. Leland used to get when she would tell him ‘no’. “Don’t get mixed up in this. You have your own life to worry about.”

It was the second time that was said to him in two days...

Maybe fate was trying to drill that into his head.

...or maybe it was just coincidence.

“I swear you guys say that as if you’re not part of my life,” he said with a short chortle, making sure to close the door behind him.

The back room felt much cooler than before, and for a moment he felt like he was back in Bruce’s cave, sitting at that ridiculously oversized supercomputer to dig up dirt wherever he thought a useful little worm of information might be. Only this room was smaller and crowded with sewing supplies instead of fancy tech and stalactites, and there were no bats or handsome best friend around for company.

Still, he couldn’t shake the sense of intrigue that came with the idea. He pulled up the picture he’d taken of ‘Mr. Nito’.

He zoomed in on the tattoos. A dragon tail peeked out of the jacket’s sleeve - it was such a standard thing to get that he figured there wasn’t much to go on with that one.

A large embossed star sat between his neck and shoulder. He’d seen celebrity chefs with the same sort of tat’. Nothing special.

Knuckle tattoos - because of course he’d have those - spelled out ‘PAIN’ on his left hand. He didn’t doubt there was a matching one of some kind on his right. Talk about basic.

There was something peeking out above the v-neck: the top of a face that looked like it was split in half, with the expressions like the sock and buskin masks in theatre, cast in black and red. Or at least that’s what John assumed they were, given the eyebrow and eye shapes...

That one was definitely more unique. Worth looking into.

He heard the door chime again, but Mr. Prinya didn’t sound so nervous when he greeted them this time. There was no need to go back out or throw the sewing machine at someone. (At least...not yet.)

John had to get back to work. He’d have to sort through a lot of social media garbage to find something like it, but he had a lot of free time on his hands...

*~*~*~*~*

John had been through far too many FriendBook pages. And Chirp pages. And bloggr posts. And he’d posted and searched through the more disturbing internet forums. All in moments snatched where he could at work and travel and in the very few spots in St. Dympha he could get away with using a contraband phone in to look up gang symbols in the tri-state area and beyond.

And nothing. Not a single thing depicting either the symbol the bodies made on the Chandis or the tattoo on ‘Mr. Nito’.

He was tempted to just ask Bruce (or even Tiffany) and shove the picture he’d taken of ‘Mr. Nito’ in their fancy Batcomputer to analyze, but...they were both definitely-probably busy. After all, they were working on the mysterious-gang-war case, and Bruce was probably dealing with the stupid tabloid article from that morning on top of that, and those were more important than his little investigation.

(Besides, he really liked that expression Bruce got when John had figured something out; surprise and pride and intrigue all rolled into one. He’d gladly comb over a hundred more pages of junk to see that face when he inevitably surprised him with.)

And now he was stuck in group. Unable to do anything but sit and mull over what he was missing, and think about Bruce’s mess of a mystery. He’d looked as far back as the nineteen-twenties for criminally-linked logos that looked even remotely like what either of them should be, but found none. It had to be new, and small enough to fly under the radar…

John had a mental catalog of all the gangs that were and ever had been in the city. Black Mask was much more recent, seizing the opportunistic hole that Falcone had left in his wake and picking up business fronts and those ridiculous protection rackets, and adding in the standard drug trade. He was sure he was an out-of-towner who noticed the lack of a big organized crime unit… Or at least someone who operated outside of the city to get power before moving in on the big fish.

He’d crossed off a lot of the old mafias already, mostly due to them being dead and gone. Falcone’s leftovers weren’t smart enough or loyal enough to organize themselves into some sort of revenge plot; they were the type to follow the new guy. Maroni’s crew tended to be more hot-headed and not take orders from new people, but there were only so many left, and they had their own little territories carved out on the map that Black Mask hadn’t bothered trying to take.

The small-time gangs (seventeen of them at the last count) scattered around the place didn’t really have enough to pull of a stunt like that of the Chandis. They were more the types to make deals with the big time crooks and go down in a blaze of glory if something went wrong.

So unless it was someone new… But why? That was the real question. It felt too personal to be random. Maybe whoever was running Black Mask had crossed paths with someone who had the patience to wait for revenge. Someone deadly. Trained, if the knife-throwing was anything to go by. Maybe it wasn’t a gang, but one person. A serial killer bent on revenge. Maybe B.M. killed someone they cared about, or took something from them.

Maybe B.M. had lit a circus on fire or something. He added it to his little list of things to look up later.

He hated admitting it, but Tiffany had been right in her little insinuation - there was little he could do about this particular thing while he was on the inside...

“John? How about you?”

Of course Dr. Ludgate would call him out while was sitting there thinking. She had a knack for picking on the quiet ones. She looked it, too, with her severely-sharp haircut and the general attitude that she commanded the room. He wondered if she used to be a teacher or something. (She certainly had the style of those fussy teachers he’d seen on T.V. over the years. Awful floral patterns were her apparently her favorite thing in the world.)

Of course they’d call him out when he was sitting there thinking. He hadn’t been paying attention for quite a while.

Complete honestly wasn’t even an option here. He’d hate to just say he was just daydreaming or not listening…

“Ah, well, I was just thinking, doc’...”

The doctor was giving him the ‘ah, yes, go on’ look he was used to. It seemed a lot of the group was paying attention to him… Well, who was he to disappoint an audience?

“I still have those moments where things feel like some kind of alternate reality. Like I’m in one of those weird ‘what-if’ comics and I’ve got only so many pages left until I find myself still in…” That cozy little slice of hell, he wanted to say. But that was ‘inappropriate’ and ‘disturbing’. Not exactly the picture he wanted to paint for himself in front of a healthcare professional. “Well, Arkham.”

Mickey, sitting across from him in their little circle, was watching him like he was actually paying attention. He had a tendency to stare at his lap a lot in group. Or into space.

“But...the past couple of weeks have helped prove that I’m not there anymore.” ...kinda. He thought carefully. “Like it’s not just the scenery that’s different, you know?”

Some thoughtful looks at that. Nice.

He wasn’t going to add on anything too sugary, like his hope for others feeling the same. No, no, that wasn’t his style. He leaned back in his chair, unable to hold back the little grin. “Though this place could take some pointers from it. Exposed brick is much more chic than all this eggshell.”

A couple of titters and amused little smirks in the group. Much better.

Dr. Ludgate just nodded her head. “It’s good to know you’re feeling more comfortable, John. I think everyone here has days where they don’t feel like they’re really at a better point in their lives.”

John leaned back a little further in his chair. She didn’t seem to completely understand, but that was okay. She got the end message, at least, and that was what mattered. He didn’t really care if anyone else got it or not.

When no one else spoke up after a few beats - clearly no one wanted to delve further into that conversation link - Dr. Ludgate pretended to look at her watch. “I think that’s about all we have time for today.” She made sure to look at the group as a whole. “You’ve all made wonderful progress.”

A phrase he’d heard a thousand times, and it still hadn’t lost it’s funny side. He at least managed to swallow the urge to giggle at it.

John strolled out of the room, going straight back to thinking. There wasn’t much he could do with Bruce’s stuff. Back to thinking about the mysterious Mr. Nito as he made his way back to his room. The perfect thinking place.

He hadn’t seen anything resembling the weird theatre masks in his tattoo search, either. It was apparently rather unique. Maybe he had to do some more forum digging for that one…?

“Hey, John,” Devi Hanson waved to him from a little further down the hall clad in pink cheetah-print pants, and he saw a flash of intensely-bright neon green in her hand.

Nail polish. It was ridiculously bright, and he was seized with the urge to have it. “Where did you get that color?” He asked enthusiastically, already making a bee-line for her.

“Outside, where else?” She joked. “What, you wanna use it?”

He could steal it from her, but she was one of the few people who actively enjoyed his company. “How many ways can I say yes? Absolutely, sure, oui, si, ja...”

She gave a light laugh. “Alright, but you have to do my right hand for me.”

“Deal!”

He followed her into the recreation room. It was ten times cozier than Arkham’s; only one orderly to oversee things, much comfier sofas, a cable package with actually decent things on half the time, several board games that weren’t just checkers or some variant of it, and people that weren’t prone to sudden bouts of violence. (Well, mostly. He’d seen a very heated game of Dungeons, Dragons, and Dice.)

They sat at one of the corner tables, away from the crowd watching that boring ‘“nerdy” comedy John didn’t understand the appeal of.

“So, how’s the sewing gig goin’?” Devi asked casually as she started to paint her left hand with practiced strokes.

“About as well as it can go,” he answered. He wasn’t going to mention anything about what transpired earlier. “How’s the laundry shift?”

“Hot and borin’,” she answered back. “They say a job’s a job, but it actually makes stripping seem good again. At least there was fun music and a lot more money in it.”

“Huh, I didn’t know you did that.”

“Eh, it was a lifetime ago. It’s how I got into my nasty little habit.” Devi was rather quick at painting, apparently, already going on her third nail. “I’d rather go back to bein’ a stylist again, actually. I could style and dye hair like nobody's business.” She shot a look at his hair. “Wouldn’t need to do yours, though. You’re color sure stays...”

“It’s au natural.”

Her eyebrows raised. “Really? Man, you’re lucky! I’d kill for a color like that.”

“Maybe I did,” he said slyly, half joking to himself. For all he knew it was true. “We’ll never know!”

She gave him a funny look. Sort of curious and amused. “You don’t remember anything before the last decade, right?”

“Correct-a-mundo.”

“So why do you look like you’re always thinkin’ really hard about somethin’ lately?” Devi started blowing on her nails to dry them.

It was always tempting to tell people to mind their own business, but Devi had half her arms covered in very well-done tattoos. He could use some insight... “‘Cause I’m thinking hard about things.” John started to paint his own left hand, deciding on odd fingers instead of all of them. “In today’s case, though… It’s tats.”

“So nothin’ to do with the studmuffin that keeps visitin’ you?” Devi was shaking her hand and blowing on it alternatively.

Either she was blowing smoke, or...she saw the tabloid article. “That? It’s...just a rumor,” he shrugged off, finding it difficult to say. He’d mostly just avoided the topic altogether, or else rolled his eyes when people brought it up. He hadn’t had one of those stupid tabloid opinion pieces since last year, when it was very easy to say it wasn’t true because it wasn’t.

“Didn’t say anythin’ about rumors.” She admired her nails, looking for imperfections.

John narrowed his eyes. Did she think he was stupid? “You didn’t have to. You probably saw that stupid article on the news rack while you were out, and that’s why you lured me here. To ask about it.”

“Not even close!” Devi answered with a little frown, “I actually like your company; you’re funny and you’re the only one in this joint who appreciates my taste in color,” she said, gesturing to her whole yellow-and-pink outfit, “And I asked because half the time I see you, the guy’s almost attached to your hip. What’s this about an article?”

Oh. Whoops. “Sorry,” John muttered, feeling bad at jumping to conclusions, “it’s this whole stupid tabloid thing… It’s bad enough they gossip about Bruce, but to just...speculate about our relationship like that! It’s enough to...” He breathed in through his nostrils. “It really pisses me off.” It was too close to home, too paranoia-inducing...too much that put Bruce on edge, and thus John on edge.

Devi gave a sort of half-nod, half-shrug. “That’s what they do. Don’t give ‘em the satisfaction.” He knew she was right, but it didn’t help that she didn’t know everything about the situation. She couldn’t possibly know how messy it made him feel. “Anyway, why were you thinkin’ ‘bout tattoos? Jealous of mine?” She leaned her right arm on the table to show off the prowling leopard and scatter of flowers trailing down from her shoulder. She had someone’s name tattooed under a cross on her opposing forearm, and a necklace of constellations on her collarbone.

Flattery was the best way to go the majority of the time. “Yours are pretty,” he offered, watching her sit up a little proudly, “but I’m just puzzling over one I’ve seen,” he said cryptically, finished on his thumbnail. “I’ve never seen one like it before.”

“You got a picture?” She asked, putting her left hand in front of him so he’d get the hint.

John eyed the guard in the corner. He waited until he’d turned just enough away to slide his phone out of his pocket and pull up the gallery, zooming in on Mr. Nito’s tattoo. “If anyone asks, it’s yours,” he muttered, nodding to the phone as he started painting her other hand.

“Not allowed one yet, huh?” Devi pulled it across the able and looked. “Hm… That’s new to me.” She zoomed out, much to John’s discomfort. “Him, on the other hand, I’ve seen.”

“You have?” John could not keep the excitement out of his voice. “When? Where?”

“Here,” she shrugged. “Hang on a sec - hey, Mick’,” she called out, leaning to get a view of the only ‘Mick’ it could be in the facility, “Can you come here for a sec’?”

John did not want to involve him. They weren’t on...well, any real terms. It was hard to tell if Mickey liked him...or anything at all, in fact. Mickey was too abrasive to know if he would be loyal to anything or anyone.

Mickey, unfortunately, did in fact come when called, though. Maybe he had a soft spot for Devi, or women in general. “Yeah?”

“You remember this guy? I remember seein’ him, but I don’t remember his name.”

Mickey breathed out, crossing his arms over his plain t-shirt and looking...not very different from his usual gruff expression. His thick dark brows were furrowed together. “I just knew him as Ian.”

“Yeah, that was it… He didn’t stay too long, did he?”

Mickey snorted, smirking a little. “A week.”

John resumed painting, not realizing he’d stopped. “Who was he?”

“A patient,” Mickey replied. He was staring holes down at John. “We shared the same doctor. Why?”

John was getting annoyed, and he was getting tired of being polite. “That’s my business.”

Mickey decided to just sit next to Devi, still staring at him. “You trying to stop a racket?”

John ignored that and started on Devi’s pinkie finger.

“The hotel’s got one, too,” he continued quietly. That caught John’s interest.

Devi gave a slight chortle. “Every bus’ in the docks has one. Stupid to try and get us to be so law-abiding when they put us down there.”

Yes, now John was doubly-interested.

“What kind is it?” John asked Mickey, looking up from his handiwork.

“Drugs and prostitution,” he answered as Devi made a disgusted face, “Yours?”

John decided to be honest as he started on his own right hand. He rather liked the look of his left. “Pretty sure my boss is a drug mule. I don’t think it’s by choice.”

Devi winced harder. “Ugh. I got lucky, mine’s just a secret loan racket in the basement.”

Mickey was watching him. “Are you trying to stop them?”

It was...almost hopeful. Like he actually wanted that. A tough guy like Mickey, who could have easily been in a gang himself, wanted the crime in his life stopped. How...oddly refreshing.

“I don’t like being potentially thrown under the bus for other people’s decisions,” John chose to say, discarding the joke that he still had Batman’s number on speed-dial. “It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

Mickey nodded sagely. “You don’t want to go back,” he stated. “I get it.”

“Until you’ve been in Arkham, Mickey, you really don’t.” He hoped it didn’t sound as rude as he thought. “You guys know the name of your employer’s racket group?”

“Some guy named Boata,” Devi answered, blowing on her newly painted fingers.

Mickey looked up at the ceiling very briefly. “Last I heard, it was something like ‘Volto’.”

Interesting. A chain of small gangs working in such a small area? That only meant one thing: they were sections of a bigger gang. Especially with such European-sounding names...

The leftovers, perhaps. Or maybe they wanted just to sound like the leftovers. Cast the suspicion of the Bat off.

One thing was for sure. He had to find Ian’s full name. A last known address wouldn’t hurt, either.

And that meant he’d have to break into an office.

Notes: I’m very happy with the first section, but less satisfied with how the second half turned out, and it bent me out of shape for a week to think of how it would end... But I reminded myself that I’m setting up for what’s coming in what should be Chapter 5, and...oh boy, I know that is gonna knock some socks off. (Including mine, haha!) So it’s worth the struggle, but I hope I kept everyone’s attention. :)

So, fun facts! I had to look up what the theatre masks were called, and “sock and buskin” are literally names for the masks, taken from the “sock of comedy and boot of tragedy” characters could wear on stage. (I’ve...never heard of such a thing before now, but I like it.) And my reference to “a whole tomato of pins” is an allusion to the common tomato-shaped pin-cushion. I’ve grown up with one in the house and rarely see any in sewing stores that aren’t shaped like that, so I thought it was a sort of funny thing to add.

It’s really too bad I can’t just make a whole game for this, because I think John would have some interesting mental-mapping in animation. You’d get to see him connect the strings together like Batman does on his tech, and imagine some things like Bats’ 3D-projecting. Plus he talks to himself, both aloud (like Bruce) and in his head, so the player would actually hear that sometimes, and some of his little vocal memories from other people. (If my alternate-universe self is doing this...man, I hope she’s having fun with it.)

And of course, thank you for all the love so far!! Every time I get a note I go like this: (♡´౪`♡) *✧ ✰ ｡* I’ll see you in two weeks, when we rejoin Bruce!

#ttoj #bttts s4 #telltale batjokes #the boy!!! is here!!!#John Doe #Tiffany Fox #look at all these OC's #Fordarkisthesuede writes #writing John making new friends is hard hahahaha #drug mention #canon-typical violence #prositution mention #stripping mention #gun mention #please tell me if i missed any tags #the tolls of justice

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hanzi83 · 7 years ago

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Detainment

Another year has passed by since the newer guard has been instilled into the coverage of pop culture type of stuff, and you would think I would be thrown into the mix because just a decade ago, the possibilities seemed endless. I was kind of making positive headway with the Stern Show with contribution of ideas and showing enthusiasm of being involved with it. Most people were not aware of what was going on behind the scenes, and the ones that were, were either overly nice about it, and some overly jealous of it. The same jealous ones have used my connection to the show, and took advantage of me being naïve believing the system is what was presented with conspiracies here and there, but for the most part the system seemed to be running fine, and there were no secrecy involved with all of this.

I could never have imagined that I would be thrown into the mix at all and always envisioned me just peaking in high school and then I could die off. Becoming a “celebrity” on the Stern Show was a big deal, and I thought through hard work I could get to go to a lot of these shows, concerts, get the perks that everyone else gets. I never knew I was owed that on any level, but that was why it was so brilliant on their part that I didn’t know, because now that I know what people have profited off of, I have become this entitled asshole who thinks he is owed stuff, even though alpha males in industries will speak in tough guy voice to yell over people who think that, and because they are addressing it in a cadence that comes off aggressive and loud it must mean they are in the right.

I thought eventually this would all be over, and I would get the perks I am owed, but then I also backed away from furthering myself in getting bigger celebrity wise, because physically I got fatter as time has passed on, and that is with working out by the way, but whatever. I backed away because I didn’t want to promote propaganda, or have to compromise myself so they have dirt on me to expose later on. That is why some of these people have to do violent things, or commit rape etc because to me those are initiations. I was worried I would have to do that stuff, and as difficult as it has been to deal with how prosperous everyone else have become or what associations were built behind my back, I felt if I didn’t commit to those things that everyone in showbiz had to do, maybe the truth would come out sometime, and even though you are finding out about it to some extent, they aren’t telling you everything.

Even though they can’t officially acknowledge me, I know that they have their trolls doing their work for them to make me lose my mind or let me know I am being watched constantly. It is genius because these trolls can be summed up as just juvenile teens on the internet messing around, but if you know how government agencies etc have used the internet for their disposal, like spreading right wing conspiracy theories, and even targeting individuals, especially ones who were on the biggest radio show calling the host a Zionist, I knew there would be trouble heading my way. Whether it is aggressive amount of trolls showing up on platforms, censoring my voice, planting the seeds in comment sections that I will be radicalized and commits shootings etc it can all be blamed on one person in my opinion and that is Howard Stern.

He is so powerful he has underground types at his disposal to shill for him and even people in the industry are scared to comment on him, and most of these people put down the people who are being blackballed, not the people actually doing the blackballing, but not only are they blackballing people, they have targeted them and designed their life to become chaotic and making people do certain things while people in the system act like they promote goodness and don’t condone people being drugged up, or acting violent, when they thrive on it so they have constant news going on. I can’t even do comedy because of the fear of him sending people to any gig, or having people not give me work, and then claim that I am not working hard enough. They suppress my voice all the time, and they even tried to set up a trap for me for Wrestle Mania weekend. It worked brilliantly because there was a false invite to Mania this year, and I knew because I am a conspiracy theorist, and have been critical of Stern and his possible association with Trump and acting giving him advice. Even in a 2013 call, which has been taken off of You Tube now, Howard subtly says “Why would I want power to do that, I could see if I could control the president or something” and the same thing that got censored from replays when Kurt Angle was in studio and was talking about how Vince wouldn’t let him go to rehab, then Artie nonchalantly said “I know what it is like to have a boss not let you go to rehab” and at the time you think this is a joke because on air Howard has always claimed if Artie needed to leave he could, but of course Howard is a fucking liar, and you should never believe anything that comes out of his mouth. Anyways, since I have been calling out Howard for being a Trump advocate, even if he was a Hilary supporter, at most Howard is a neo liberal, but the narrative of him being too PC is what the right wing fans want to die upon when they climb that hill, he has been going at Trump a lot more lately and been more critical of him. It just seems funny because before the election and shortly after he didn’t really say anything about it. “The show has never been political” except when he advocates for Israel to bomb and pillage the rest of the Middle East.

I knew if I went to Mania, like I was invited to go, I knew it would be bad because I would get detained with the people in power knowing who I am, and then they can claim I am dangerous because of the rhetoric I spew on my social media, even though most people that know me know that I would never be violent or nor do I have access to guns, but they would have detained me and while most people would be okay with that because I am not mentally well, and they believe the people doing the detaining are the good people, no one would know what has happened to me, nor would they care. Because I suspect that people who are detained in some way are drugged and then programmed to do things, like that person who did the shooting at You Tube head quarters, who was also complaining about censorship, or at least that is what the main narrative is, it would have fit in perfectly for these people to do that same shit to me and no one would know anything. At the very least they would have had me detained so I would miss out the whole weekend, while people I know are allowed to go to whatever they want, and I don’t doubt that people I know are there for the festivities, and then they play dumb in front of me, and then will be a little transparent with it, especially when I do posts like these.

So it sucks that even after a decade of being a part of the Stern Show, after giving them content for several years and being a punching bag, that I still am not allowed to do things on my own. Even the people who say they are doing things their way, it is never their way, they are still given orders of what kind of narratives to sell, even if it is for evil or for the sake of good.

This entire post has been all over the place, but because I am a mentally ill person who is not to be taken seriously, this is what you get. A scattered grammatical mess that doesn’t make much sense due to the amounts of conspiracies involved. Maybe there is a conspiracy with who is writing these blogs. Maybe it is someone else from the Illuminati writing this under my name and is trying to discredit me more. Who the fuck knows? Not like my image is in the perfectionist state to begin with.

#Hanzi Howard Stern Show Illuminati Trump Detainment Wrestlemania WWE Conspiracy Mentally Ill

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newstfionline · 7 years ago

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Here Come the Fake Videos, Too

By Kevin Roose, NY Times, March 4, 2018

The scene opened on a room with a red sofa, a potted plant and the kind of bland modern art you’d see on a therapist’s wall.

In the room was Michelle Obama, or someone who looked exactly like her. Wearing a low-cut top with a black bra visible underneath, she writhed lustily for the camera and flashed her unmistakable smile.

Then, the former first lady’s doppelgänger began to strip.

The video, which appeared on the online forum Reddit, was what’s known as a “deepfake”--an ultrarealistic fake video made with artificial intelligence software. It was created using a program called FakeApp, which superimposed Mrs. Obama’s face onto the body of a pornographic film actress. The hybrid was uncanny--if you didn’t know better, you might have thought it was really her.

Until recently, realistic computer-generated video was a laborious pursuit available only to big-budget Hollywood productions or cutting-edge researchers. Social media apps like Snapchat include some rudimentary face-morphing technology.

But in recent months, a community of hobbyists has begun experimenting with more powerful tools, including FakeApp--a program that was built by an anonymous developer using open-source software written by Google. FakeApp makes it free and relatively easy to create realistic face swaps and leave few traces of manipulation. Since a version of the app appeared on Reddit in January, it has been downloaded more than 120,000 times, according to its creator.

Deepfakes are one of the newest forms of digital media manipulation, and one of the most obviously mischief-prone. It’s not hard to imagine this technology’s being used to smear politicians, create counterfeit revenge porn or frame people for crimes. Lawmakers have already begun to worry about how deepfakes could be used for political sabotage and propaganda.

Even on morally lax sites like Reddit, deepfakes have raised eyebrows. Recently, FakeApp set off a panic after Motherboard, the technology site, reported that people were using it to create pornographic deepfakes of celebrities. Pornhub, Twitter and other sites quickly banned the videos, and Reddit closed a handful of deepfake groups, including one with nearly 100,000 members.

Some users on Reddit defended deepfakes and blamed the media for overhyping their potential for harm. Others moved their videos to alternative platforms, rightly anticipating that Reddit would crack down under its rules against nonconsensual pornography. And a few expressed moral qualms about putting the technology into the world.

Then, they kept making more.

The deepfake creator community is now in the internet’s shadows. But while out in the open, it gave an unsettling peek into the future.

“This is turning into an episode of Black Mirror,” wrote one Reddit user. The post raised the ontological questions at the heart of the deepfake debate: Does a naked image of Person A become a naked image of Person B if Person B’s face is superimposed in a seamless and untraceable way? In a broader sense, on the internet, what is the difference between representation and reality?

The user then signed off with a shrug: “Godspeed rebels.”

After lurking for several weeks in Reddit’s deepfake community, I decided to see how easy it was to create a (safe for work, nonpornographic) deepfake using my own face.

I started by downloading FakeApp and enlisting two technical experts to help me. The first was Mark McKeague, a colleague in The New York Times’s research and development department. The second was a deepfake creator I found through Reddit, who goes by the nickname Derpfakes.

Because of the controversial nature of deepfakes, Derpfakes would not give his or her real name. Derpfakes started posting deepfake videos on YouTube a few weeks ago, specializing in humorous offerings like Nicolas Cage playing Superman. The account has also posted some how-to videos on deepfake creation.

What I learned is that making a deepfake isn’t simple. But it’s not rocket science, either.

The first step is to find, or rent, a moderately powerful computer. FakeApp uses a suite of machine learning tools called TensorFlow, which was developed by Google’s A.I. division and released to the public in 2015. The software teaches itself to perform image-recognition tasks through trial and error. The more processing power on hand, the faster it works.

To get more speed, Mark and I used a remote server rented through Google Cloud Platform. It provided enough processing power to cut the time frame down to hours, rather than the days or weeks it might take on my laptop.

Once Mark set up the remote server and loaded FakeApp on it, we were on to the next step: data collection.

Picking the right source data is crucial. Short video clips are easier to manipulate than long clips, and scenes shot at a single angle produce better results than scenes with multiple angles. Genetics also help. The more the faces resemble each other, the better.

I’m a brown-haired white man with a short beard, so Mark and I decided to try several other brown-haired, stubbled white guys. We started with Ryan Gosling. (Aim high, right?) I also sent Derpfakes, my outsourced Reddit expert, several video options to choose from.

Next, we took several hundred photos of my face, and gathered images of Mr. Gosling’s face using a clip from a recent TV appearance. FakeApp uses these images to train the deep learning model and teach it to emulate our facial expressions.

To get the broadest photo set possible, I twisted my head at different angles, making as many different faces as I could.

Mark then used a program to crop those images down, isolating just our faces, and manually deleted any blurred or badly cropped photos. He then fed the frames into FakeApp. In all, we used 417 photos of me, and 1,113 of Mr. Gosling.

When the images were ready, Mark pressed “start” on FakeApp, and the training began. His computer screen filled with images of my face and Mr. Gosling’s face, as the program tried to identify patterns and similarities.

About eight hours later, after our model had been sufficiently trained, Mark used FakeApp to finish putting my face on Mr. Gosling’s body. The video was blurry and bizarre, and Mr. Gosling’s face occasionally flickered into view. Only the legally blind would mistake the person in the video for me.

We did better with a clip of Chris Pratt, the scruffy star of “Jurassic World,” whose face shape is a little more similar to mine. For this test, Mark used a bigger data set--1,861 photos of me, 1,023 of him--and let the model run overnight.

A few days later, Derpfakes, who had also been training a model, sent me a finished deepfake made using the footage I had sent and a video of the actor Jake Gyllenhaal. This one was much more lifelike, a true hybrid that mixed my facial features with his hair, beard and body.

Derpfakes repeated the process with videos of Jimmy Kimmel and Liev Schreiber, both of which turned out well. As an experienced deepfake creator, Derpfakes had a more intuitive sense of which source videos would produce a clean result, and more experience with the subtle blending and tweaking that takes place at the end of the deepfake process.

In all, our deepfake experiment took three days and cost $85.96 in Google Cloud Platform credits. That seemed like a small price to pay for stardom.

On the day of the school shooting last month in Parkland, Fla., a screenshot of a BuzzFeed News article, “Why We Need to Take Away White People’s Guns Now More Than Ever,” written by a reporter named Richie Horowitz, began making the rounds on social media.

The whole thing was fake. No BuzzFeed employee named Richie Horowitz exists, and no article with that title was ever published on the site. But the doctored image pulsed through right-wing outrage channels and was boosted by activists on Twitter. It wasn’t an A.I.-generated deepfake, or even a particularly sophisticated Photoshop job, but it did the trick.

Online misinformation, no matter how sleekly produced, spreads through a familiar process once it enters our social distribution channels. The hoax gets 50,000 shares, and the debunking an hour later gets 200. The carnival barker gets an algorithmic boost on services like Facebook and YouTube, while the expert screams into the void.

There’s no reason to believe that deepfake videos will operate any differently. People will share them when they’re ideologically convenient and dismiss them when they’re not. The dupes who fall for satirical stories from The Onion will be fooled by deepfakes, and the scrupulous people who care about the truth will find ways to detect and debunk them.

“There’s no choice,” said Hao Li, an assistant professor of computer science at the University of Southern California. Mr. Li, who is also the founder of Pinscreen, a company that uses artificial intelligence to create lifelike 3-D avatars, said the weaponization of A.I. was inevitable and would require a sudden shift in public awareness.

“I see this as the next form of communication,” he said. “I worry that people will use it to blackmail others, or do bad things. You have to educate people that this is possible.”

So, O.K. Here I am, telling you this: An A.I. program powerful enough to turn Michelle Obama into a pornography star, or transform a schlubby newspaper columnist into Jake Gyllenhaal, is in our midst. Manipulated video will soon become far more commonplace.

And there’s probably nothing we can do except try to bat the fakes down as they happen, pressure social media companies to fight misinformation aggressively, and trust our eyes a little less every day.

#fake videos #deepfake #FakeApp

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waraupiero · 7 years ago

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some thoughts on politics after :re 162

this is going to be really unfocused because i have class in like an hour and a half and i still need to eat lmao but i’m really wondering about the press coverage for all of what’s happening right now and the political reaction towards it, on both international and domestic levels. when the dragon devours tokyo, we see that there are clearly press recording and reporting the events that are unfolding. on top of that, there are going to be people posting about this on their personal social media. so there’s definitely waves being made about this.

there’s definitely going to be global attention paid to this. outside of all the mass media that’s being released from tokyo, geospatial intelligence (GEOINT) capabilities from world governments are going to pick up on this large sprawling body clamping itself over tokyo.

then there is the ghoulification of humans. there’s no way to keep that quiet either, judging from the panels in 162 it’s reached epidemic levels, and the people are surely aware or made aware of it, as is the central government. although this isn’t something that can necessarily be captured by GEOINT, mass online media and also foreign officials and intelligence informants will definitely expose it to the rest of the world.

i think the predictability of the responses depends on if the world in tokyo ghoul follows our current historical timeline, or if it is a completely alternate universe. i’m inclined to believe the former, since references to franz kafka and dazai osamu seem to indicate that we share the same historical figures, who have similar cultural significances. thus i’m going to continue in assumption that the relationships between particular nations and the temperament of certain nations are going to be more or less the same as those in our universe.

to begin, it would be interesting to see how the ‘supernations’ like the united states and russia react. i think one could reasonably assume that the u.s. would extend some kind of aid (the u.s. is usually eager to appear benevolent and virtuous/righteous, however it does have significant issues with national budget and historical issues with involvement in foreign nations’ affairs, so that might affect how much it reacts), whereas russia would be kind of a wildcard given its history with japan (there’s still some land contention between the two nations). i think the same could be said of china and korea. they may see this as a chance to stir up some trouble whilst the japanese are distracted, and potentially gain some resources or power out of it.

regardless whether japan receives aid from the u.s. (and probably western europe) or harassment from its old foes, japan is going to come out weaker on the international stage because of this. first of all, fending off the dragon and ghoulification is going to already take a significant drain on japan’s resources (even if russia, korea, and china do not cause trouble), and having the u.s. intervene is going to cost in terms of its authority/sovereignty, and the japan will ‘owe’ the u.s. (though, maybe that won’t matter in times of national crisis like this). but, no matter the sort of influence outside governments are going to exert upon japan, it’s going to likely weaken the japanese government’s structure and cause it to either break apart (due to an inability to focus on all tasks at hand) or to weaken/compromise its central control (becoming dependent on other nations, needing to share its facilities & confidential information with other nations, and fracturing its integrity as foreigners take over more of its structure).

domestic politics-wise, japan’s probably already a mess. the anti-ghoul sentiment has been strong in the days leading up to the dragon incident (thank you bureau director washuu kichimura), and so the public is probably not going to react well to the news that the ccg is working together with ghouls. also, by extension the japanese government will be working with ghouls -- given its partnership with the ccg, and also bolstered by the fact that the prime minister supplied tsukiyama mirumo with metal detectors. but can we expect the public to go along with the government’s decision to work with ghouls in this time of need? or are there going to be protests and demonstrations? will there be a rise in anti-ghoul terrorism? how is the ghoulification process going to impact public demonstrations?

will the knowledge of this incident inspire the domestic politics of other nations to change? so that they may perhaps nip this sort of phenomenon in the bud before it (potentially) bursts within their borders? i can see how more authoritarian nations like russia and china would crack down on ghoul populations to prevent this sort of thing. i wouldn’t be surprised if the u.s. did it too, given the u.s.’s track record in dealing with ‘potentially dangerous’ citizens.

maybe instead of inspiring other nations to help japan, it’s going to bring on more isolationist policies to match with domestic politics featuring rigorous internal controls and detention institutions. it may also cause a rise in violence and crime, especially for nations whose citizens have access to guns. then comes the question of whether ghouls are worth being protected from a paranoid and violent human population (you and i may think so, but perhaps not an unsympathetic human government).

i wonder how this is turning out for the ghouls in tokyo as well. likely it’s going to cause some membership shift amongst the two main ghoul organisations, goat and the clowns? i’m not sure how many would suspect or know the dragon incident to be the handiwork of the clowns. depending on the level of public ghoul knowledge of the events, membership changes could shift either way. or maybe some ghouls will simply renounce organisation to hide.

speaking of the clowns, i’m still wondering what their agenda is. is it total ghoul domination over humanity?? or just general chaos, if itori’s statement of ‘it is us clowns who will have the last laugh’ is to be taken as their manifesto?? the clowns are certainly a political actor, but i’m having trouble even assigning a point to their terrorism. very interested in finding more about it. ishida seems to hint that furuta’s motivations are selfish, but i wonder if it just fits into the wider political agenda for the clowns, and that’s why he gets away with it? or if the clowns are just an apolitical association? if so, why fuck with politics?

unless this isn’t about politics at all and is all about aestheticism and philosophy instead. which would be an interesting angle for a ghoul organisation, considering that both goat and aogiri did have political agendas.

and how are the newly made ghouls going to fit into the current political landscape? we now have a completely new and, most importantly, large demographic. how are existing ghouls going to act towards them? accept them?? will they have a choice other than that? and will humans still view them as humans -- after all it’s presumable that some remaining humans would still recognise them as friends and family -- or will they exterminate them as ghouls/threats?

the influx of ghouls is also going to effect the ecosystem a lot. it looks like ghouls are going to soon outnumber humans ... where will the food come from then (and what will happen to the production of human food? the food industry is an indispensable part of international and domestic economics, this goes without saying really)? they could eat other ghouls, but that would make for a very bleak world ... the food chain may just become an ouroboros. it’s worrying. i’m very much anticipating how this is going to be handled.

i wonder how much of an explanation/exploration we’re going to get when it comes to the political implications after chapter 162. everything is a mess™ right now so these concerns are probably not at the top of everyone’s priorities. the ghouls and the ccg are working hard to get through the current mess they’re in, with humans turning into ghouls and furuta & v agents running amok and dragons before anything else. nevertheless it’s intriguing to ponder, so if people want to talk about feel free to hit me up!

#rip this is long so i'm keeping it under a cut #ren.txt #tg meta #グール #tokyo ghoul

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artdjgblog · 4 years ago

Photo

Innerview: Jane Lerner / Print Magazine Regional Design Annual

July 2008

Image: Gluekit

Note: Q&A on the Midwest's “State of the Union in Design.”

Question:

I am mainly interested in your take on the “state of the union” of design in Missouri. In writing the regional essay, I am curious as to your thoughts on the quality of local design and designers, the challenges designers currently face in your area, the kinds of clients you are seeing more / less of, the influence of local art schools and the new crop of designers, the effects of larger social issues (the economy, the election, recent flooding, the housing crisis)—really anything you’d like to offer would be illuminating. I’m especially interested in any changes you may have felt in your business since last year, either improvements, declines, shifts in assignments, anything…I am just hoping to collect some thoughts from local designers in your area on the state of design in your area, with a special emphasis on how your work has changed, evolved, improved, or been challenged in the past year. Really anything you’d like to offer would be helpful and illuminating, but don’t feel like you need to put too much time or effort into writing anything up! Answer:

Honestly, for about forty minutes each Fall, I let Print’s Regional Design Annual treat me to a view of what they think is the state of design union in Missouri and beyond these borders. But, do I use it as my design doctrine or bible? Nope, just reference per the moment and mild-mannered time passing. And besides, it’s always about a year behind (har-har). The rest of the year I barely flip a design magazine or book page based upon today’s happenings and I don’t interact much with other design unless having a ba-jillion images pass by me on the web world bulletin boards, the grocery aisles and department stores or when I watch movies and play passenger in cars. Oh, so then again, I guess I DO flip through (and flip off) a lot of design out there! And geesh, I can barely read most restaurant menus these days! I get confused and convoluted from a lot of design overload. Though, I guess I do care. I do celebrate design. I do love it and hate it on occasion. I do get too serious at times and then feel the need to step it back because I have to be a human being. Publications like Print must be doing something right being that they’ve been in print for decades now. And I might read it more if I could afford a subscription. But, I still think that all design is relative to the viewer who makes contact and then it’s up to them. Them being, both the general people and the people who really push the production, politics or peep show. But, mostly it should be left up to the uneducated design people (I mean that in the best way possible) that the end product is placed within eye-shot. They have to look at the whole spectrum majority of the junk, not knowing what is good or bad in design aesthetics, but what feeds them on a personal level or how hungry their pockets are. For the majority of my own nest-kick-chicks, that would be street level. I think I’m not too far off by putting my poster work in the same batter as that of street vending / food cart. It’s cheap, catchy, quick and not for everyone. But for those few minutes (or seconds pending on how fast you digest) it may or may not treat you right and then you pack up and move on to the next pickings. Sometimes you might want to try it again and that means a lot to me in this age of quick tastes and slick takes. On the other hand, I wouldn’t mind for each experience to be a new taste / take. In some cases, multiple tastes / takes in one bite. So, lots of different street vendor selections or even toppings? Maybe more like one big thing of flavored beans? Canned or candied? Of course the design hand-picked for a design magazine is done so by designers. They do a fine job, but is design all relative to designers too? Maybe we should start letting non-designers pick the work just for the heck of it? I think it would be a great experiment to see what truly works on a popular vote in the culture instead of designers controlling the pop culture waves of their own profession. Something I learned about this “profession” a long while back is that there is no good or bad design, only smart or stupid (I think there are “pretty” and “ugly” categories too). I find joy pulled from all sides. More times than not, I find more breathable life in things made by the hands of unskilled makers of things. Though, it depends, I guess. And for the most part, whether it is folk art or a church secretary’s thumb prints, the egos, arrogance factor and financial bullpens typically come in less shades of gloss and floss as well. Still, one can’t help but think there is a fine line once all the meat is boiled with any “design” job. I guess that is where my formative training and “I think I know it so-and-so’s” come to bite me in the rear. I try to not think, but end up thinking too much when these questions come. What does all of this nonsense say about the state of the union? Should we even care about a state of the union with design? I have no idea. Tricky question, nonetheless. Designerly reality hits when I feel that a lot of non-designers think they are designers and that a lot of designers think that they are designers too. Though, this has probably more-so been a “thing” with many since the personal computer came into play and that’s a subject that has been beaten to death. It’s good and bad and smart and stupid and pretty and ugly. Oh, and the ability to change colors and images on myspace pages and cell phones has got the “modern” world in a hoopla of cool-aid. Everybody’s got an agenda to style and decorate everything, non-designers and designers. Whatever and way-to-go…each to their own scarecrow. I try to stay out of design dogma, fads and politics for the most part. But, it can be challenging when the “profession” feels a lack of respect compared to what it may have had decades ago (I’m still a young pup so I wasn’t around, but I love to look at old makers of things working in a room without a compouter), when brains were illuminated instead of monitors. I’m not sure if this is my area of the box to bash. But, it makes for interesting passing through. And I have a pooter too. I stick to my guns as much as I can, but still it’s a game of roulette with each day cause I never know what I’m personally going to get out of it or if what I get translates to if he or she or they or it wish for tickets to the gun show. But, I try to always do my best work per that moment and keep true to whatever direction of the dotted line it fits. Unfortunately some days make for more paper dolls than snowflakes. Personally, whenever I pull from all things, the cannon of life that I’ve built and have come to know, this is when I’m tickled most within the work. But, it shouldn’t be about me and I am no specially marked pre-packaged product. A healthy dose of all angles and ingredients apply for this position. Design calculators are nice and all, and knowing what you think you know is more than just knowing as it becomes powerful like OCD to the core and every drip and wink of life becomes that. It can be fulfilling and it can also make you want to dive in a landfill. Anyway, it’s a strange brew and I’m best when I stir and just let it happen. And I’ve had to work a full-time day job (and some) since starting on my personal design odyssey seven years ago, so I don’t know enough of “much” to really qualify for this question. I’m in constant scrape for scraps of my own eye lids. But, then again, Print Magazine has kindly donated some fine-printed room on their pages the past six years for my silly D.I.Y. bump and grinds. As if I couldn’t confuse myself even more, I found out that Print picked a piece of my mind to help represent Missouri that I didn’t think was anything too special on a whole and now they want my opinion on the state of the union. Design is all relative even among designers. I don’t get out too much, but Kansas City has had a hot bed of art and design activity burning bright for several years now. And ever since I was making visits from the farm to the city as a child, I’ve thought the architecture alone in this town stands for itself old and new. Right now there is a lot of development buzzing and lots of expensive looking structures and changes filling out formerly anorexic lots and buildings. Supposedly we are making a dent in the landscape all-around with the arts, which is kind of exciting. And there is a great sense of hometown pride right now. Though, how does that add up in comparison to the higher crime rate, poverty, loaf of bread, gallon of gas or milk? Or, anywhere? I guess in designerly terms, Print will let me know for sure later this year what is exactly going on as they summarize the Missouri plot. All I know is that the loop is small here in Kansas City and I myself have somehow managed to remain fairly anonymous and out of the loop, yet have been fortunate to grasp a few goggles. But, like I said, I don’t get out much and I don’t get to do design full time. At times, and in these times, I wonder how some individual designers and larger design firms keep all of their monitors turned on. Maybe I should hang around some of these kids who are getting by on their arts and crafts alone and learn a trick or two? But, I will just keep riding my little pony now. I suppose the new crop of talent has been a constant for a long time with the Kansas City Art Institute being here and all. Though, many newbies come in from all areas of surrounding towns and other states, not just for formal schooling. And I’m sure the location between big college towns like Lawrence, KS and Columbia, MO draw in the post-graduates. It seems like a lot of people that transplant or migrate here stick around and drop anchor for a bit. The central location, four seasons and big-little city atmosphere help make for a comfortable stay. You can throw an iPhone and hit somebody who makes stuff or plays in a band or something in the area of the arts. It’s fairly easy to find kindred spirits, comfort and a bit of headlines if you’ve got something to say. And in some cases you don’t need to say much to get attention. But, I think that in most any city now you can find a lot of people who are pushing towards titles of artist, designer, writer, filmmaker and so-on. However, the “everyone’s an artist” tag line doesn’t bulge the waist line here as much as in a city like say, Portland, OR. But, I think that there is an edge here with milder mid-west manners and a cheaper and comfortable cost of living in comparison to equally-sized and more artistically-endowed cities. Still, gas and economy prices are rising all the time so added whoopee cushions are deflating a bit. But, cats are cheaper than kids so my wife and I almost have my formal art and design education paid off. Whoopee, for real. Though, most of the natty resources I’m in constant search of right now in my pockets are time, energy and clear conscience. In my own personal art department, internet advertising on social networks mixed with small town word-of-mouth and an incestuous music scene of like twenty people pretty much makes the concert poster secondary information today. At least it seems that way on some days…some days like today. And some days feedback comes in the vein of, “It’s alright I guess, but I think we’ll just make our own in OUR style.” I have no idea what that means, but it seriously cracks me up in a “you and me take ourselves way too serious” kind of way. Stuff like that makes me realize that all of this that I push and pine for means nothing when all the images are stacked up. I like the idea of the time line and of the paper trail with life and celebrating creation, but a lot of it can take life out of context. I’m guilty a lot. Fooey…I don’t think the concert poster is a dead art and I must add that I’ve had great response and clientele to work with here. To top off this tearful tier, I have no idea what else I could do. This is the only thing that I’m told that I’m somewhat “OK” at. When fitting their “style”, of course. So, Kansas City…I simply fell into the right position with you and I enjoy you sometimes and sometimes I don’t. But, that is how the hamster ball scuttles. Though, much of my smoke stacks have cut back collaboration with concert stuffs due to just wanting to take it easier on myself and to see where else I can crawl with this pile I’m sitting on. And I come back quick, up and down. I think there will always be an avenue for printed products, plus for a long while now the concert poster in general has become a pretty hot item. Though, that is not why I do it. I just do it. Out of the gutter and onto the milk crate. Regardless, I’ve taken a step back from my typical trappings anyway to just breathe a bit in life and to avoid burning my torch out. I’m also seeing what other areas to plow. Though, I think I’ve recently caught a bit of fire again and I’m burning my brain and yours in this windy waste of writing. Adding it all up, I’m well down my seventh well here. I like it, but I have itchy roots that dig into my country backbone woods. There’s a piece of me that wants to get a piece of rural property to see some stars again and have a little full tank of time making things shack out back. And just close enough to the city for a fix of my secondary roots here if need be. But who knows what the next wind will blow? -djg

#innerviews

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megacircuit9universe · 5 years ago

Text

The Last Touchstone

FRI FEB 14 2020

So, since my last entry, it’s been... I would call it, a, “noisy,” news week.

What I mean by that is... there was one big story... and then there were a string of other stories, with a different narrative, which, I sense were being pushed to drown out the one big story.

The one big story was... Bernie Sanders decisively became the front runner for the Democratic nomination. He won New Hampshire... with Joe Biden placing 5th... and Polls afterward had him not only taking California and Texas in the near future, but also the easy winner of the nomination.

And though this got a bit of coverage in the media, and made newspaper headlines... it was split screened, at the very least, or totally drowned out later in the week, by obsessive coverage of Trump doing exactly what we expected him to be doing, after being acquitted by the Senate... which also was exactly what we expected the Senate to do.

He started by firing Vindman and Sondland, who testified against him to the House. Who thought they were going to keep their jobs after that? I didn’t. Did they?

Then Barr of course, pressured the DOJ team who’d been prosecuting Roger Stone, to recommend a sentence half what they were planning on (7 to 9 years) after an angry tweet from Trump... a move which caused every member of that prosecution team to resign from the case, or quit the DOJ altogether.

That’s clearly an abuse of power on Trump’s part, but it’s exactly the same kind of shit he was doing before the impeachment... and Barr obeyed him exactly as he always does. This was not new or surprising... except for the fact that the prosecution all resigned immediately.

That’s the headline, and if anything, it thwarts Trump and Barr, because it halts the sentence recommendation, and give the Judge (as well as the House) time and cause to look into possible wrongdoing from the AG... and Barr could soon face his own impeachment trial, or be forced to resign.

At any rate, in my book it seems Trump’s impeachment did nothing but hurt him here, as it put a spotlight on this nefarious behavior which would otherwise have happened in the shadows... and punctuated how wrong his acquittal was, thus hurting his loyals in the Senate.

Okay, but the mainstream media focused on Trumps retaliatory actions as if they were unprecedented, and took the fear mongering angle that he was becoming an autocrat... and what the hell are we gonna do now?..

...to the exclusion of any meaningful coverage on the contest to decide Trump’s 2020 opponent... for which there is now a clear front runner, as well as a couple more strong candidates.

They don’t want to look at that contest, because the candidates they wanted to oppose Trump... Biden, or if not Biden, then Warren... are both doing miserably in these early primaries, and will both probably drop out before March is over.

So instead of talking about the candidates who are doing well, with Sanders leading the pack... they’d rather fear monger about Dictator Trump, and hope that voters will pick up, from their silence about the primaries... that all hope is lost, unless Biden and/or Warren can be raised from the dead.

What exactly do I mean by fear mongering?

I’ll give Rachel Maddow as an example here... but bear in mind that I’ve been watching her regularly since 2017 and in all that time, have been a biggggg fan of hers. Loved her! Praised her!

But this week she did a segment about Trump’s post acquittal retaliations in which she was uncharacteristically hysterical.

She said that the resignations of the DOJ prosecutors for Stone, after Barr pulled rank on them because of a Trump tweet, were meaningless... because all resignations in protest are meaningless now... because everybody in the Executive Branch who have stood up to Trump, from them, to Vindman and Sondland, to Bolton, to everybody... she listed everybody...

...have had their lives, “destroyed,” by Trump.

This... made me physically gag to hear her assert it, in such an animated, alarmist tone... for two big reasons;

1) No their lives were not destroyed.

2) No matter what they suffer, it’s part and parcel of taking the oath.

On the first point... he fired them. They lost nice jobs paying good money. Oh no! Every single one of them will land on their feet... if not by retiring on the piles of money they already have, then by just getting other jobs, or by writing books, doing the lecture circuit, being political pundits on MSNBC... the opportunities for these people are endless.

To say that their lives have been destroyed is a gigantic insult to people’s who’s lives have been destroyed, either by unjust presidential policies of the past, by putting them in jail (war on drugs), putting them out on the street (economic policies), deporting them, etc... OR... their lives have been literally ended by going off to war to fight for our constitution with actual guns in actual battles against armed combatants.

Which leads to the second point... they took the same oath as any member of the military.

We say that Vindman and Sondland were brave... but they were doing their fucking jobs, according to the oath everybody takes when they take a job with the Executive Branch. Same for these prosecutors who resigned.

It’s not bravery to stand by an oath you took when entering public service. It’s cowardice to do anything but.

I’ve said this before, and I need to say it again, there is nothing in the oath to defend our constitution that says, “unless it’s really inconvenient, or could cause you undo public embarrassment on social media, or could force you to retire and live off your fortune before you were ready.”

And for Rachel Maddow, of all people, to imply that the relative inconvenience these people have suffered standing up to a real constitutional menace... is too high a price to pay, and that therefore, such stands in the future are meaningless now... is truly galling... given the powerful megaphone she used to say it.

Nowhere in that segment did she say, “But don’t worry, because we have some good Democratic candidates to vote for to put an end to this nightmare just a few months from now.”

It was unmitigated fear mongering... coming from a state of deep denial about where the American public is actually going in 2020... and done in a desperate attempt to raise centrism from its grave.

Because 20th Century style centrism... and the status quo capitalism that goes along with it... is the bread and butter of Rachel Maddow, as well as her mainstream journalist colleagues.

This same week, Chris Matthews stated fears that if Bernie were president, there would be public lynchings of the elite in Times Square, and Chuck Todd likened Bernie supporters to, “brown shirts,” a statement that got him a slap in the face by the Anti Defamation League... likening Bernie, a Jew, who grew up with holocaust survivors, to Hitler.

In short, Centrists are terrified of Trump, on the one hand, because they are fantastically over blowing the significance of his Senate acquittal (which I’ve already covered is par for the course in a Presidential impeachment, but never saves the impeached party from immediate retirement) and fearing he will throw them all in Guantanamo next week... now that he has no checks at all on his awesome power (his approval ratings are always shit, nearly 80% of the public wants him removed, the courts hate his guts, one half of congress hates him, and the other half is up for reelection).

On the other hand Bernie Sanders, if elected, will command his brown shirts to hang them all in Times Square, because they have comfortable livelihoods.

These are mostly boomers, by the way, and boomers are the generation who invented centrism... this philosophy of being sympathetic to social justice issues, but also sympathetic to conservative financial concerns... give me my huge paycheck, and McMansion in my gated community, and keep my taxes low... but also... hey, racism is bad and gays are people too!

For boomer centrists, it’s about... staying true to your teenage rebellious phase, when you protested the man, because it was cool... but also enjoying the life of the man... and the system the man made for you... it’s a balance.

There are a lot of conservative folks to the right of center, so... it’s easy to go a bit left and just... balance that out. But keep the see-saw level! Center! Level! Balance!

In the closing paragraph of my last entry, In so many words, I argued that Trump has concentrated so much weight... so far right of center... that the only way to counter it now... is to get further left.

But, when you’re a centrist... any change is inconvenience, and any inconvenience is equivalent to having your life destroyed!

We’re not supposed to live in history... we’re only supposed to use history as a way to impose our centrist views on everybody, to keep it from changing!

They obsess over two periods of time... WW2, and the 1960s. In the former era, some generation of sad souls gave their lives to put down totalitarianism around the globe and keep the world free.

In the latter... another unfortunate generation... (the Silent Generation for the most part), endured all kinds of horrors (including high profile assassinations to JFK, RFK, and MLK) to secure the civil rights we all enjoy today.

All of this was selflessly done to settle all the major problems in life... for us!.. the people who don’t have to be inconvenienced by history anymore :D

And if any candidate, or social issue has ever threatened to upset that... well... they just analyze WW2 at everybody... and analyze the 1960s at everybody... until the problem slinks away into the shadows of shame.

This is why Bernie will be hanging the elites in Times Square, and why Trump is already an all powerful Hitler... and also why the only person who can save us is the former VP of Obama... because without Hillary Clinton in the race... Biden is the last touchstone of the world they knew.

It wasn’t always a world they liked... with Reagan and Bush pulling their naughty conservative shenanigans during their allotted terms on the Presidential see saw... but it was a world where the corrupt ones... the Nixons, stepped down.

Despite the political cold snaps and heat waves, over the long run, life always remained stable.

Just like the climate!

And, just as climate change is the result of boomer centrism constantly ignoring the warning signs, because to acknowledge them would result in inconvenience...

...so too, we can see pretty clearly in February of 2020... Trump’s Presidency itself was the result of these same people gate-keeping Bernie Sanders out of the nomination process in 2016.

I’ll state that again for emphasis;

Trumps Presidency was the result of centrists gate-keeping Bernie Sanders out of the 2016 nomination process.

This was done by the DNC putting their thumb on the scales in a few key primaries to favor Clinton... and in the General election it was done by overwhelming press coverage, assuring everybody that Clinton was going to win the Presidency by a landslide.

The former action had the result of alienating an organic grassroots movement of progressive voters across the nation. The latter, convinced them to stay home, because they were not needed, while simultaneously daring Trump supporters to come out and vote, because they would not matter.

And having learned nothing, they meant to go right back to that same script this time around, with Biden.

But it’s not an option this time around... and they’re having nervous breakdowns about it. Huge, panic ridden nervous breakdowns, calling for everybody to just give up hope.

All of this said... and with the hour growing late...

Bernie was right, in his victory speech in New Hampshire, to point out that he’s put together a grass roots coalition which is multiracial, and multigenerational. It doesn’t depend on any one demographic, because it has significant voting power coming from all of them... and it’s not gonna be easily swept aside, either by billionaires, or mainstream neglect, or Trump power stunts... because it does have roots... it has real weight... and he’s in the lead... and gaining momentum.

Okay, that’s enough for one entry.

I’ve got work in the morning.

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jonathanryder-blog · 8 years ago

Photo

↳ Character Development

“None of us can make it through this life without suffering some kind of pain. Having lived through my fair share I can tell you the most difficult to endure is loneliness. He was right. Life is a game, and one that we must play. No matter how careful we are there is simply no way to go through this life unscathed, but fortunately for us, it’s a game we don’t have to play alone.”

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: Jonathan Elliot Ryder

Nickname(s): Jon, Jonah, Ryder (mostly by work colleagues), Miracle Worker

Pronunciation: J-oh-n-ah-th-ah-n Eh-l-ee-uh-t Rye-d-uh-r

Titles: Doctor, Surgeon

Age: 36

Date of Birth: February 20th 1983

Hometown: Goldwater

Current Location: Goldwater

Ethnicity: American

Nationality: Anglo-American

Gender: Male

Pronouns: Him/He/His

Orientation: Bisexual/Biromantic

Occupation: ER Doctor/Trauma Surgeon/Field Surgeon/First Aider

Living Arrangements: Can be found here

Financial Status: Upper-Middle Class

Accent: A hybrid between a neutral American and English accent, the latter hints very strongly from influences his father gave him growing up so his voice ends up making him sound more foreign than he actually is. He’s adopted a neutral tone mostly for work related reasons -- so people can understand him better.

Religion: Agnostic

Occupation: ER Doctor & Trauma Surgeon

MUTATION

Physiology: Human

Species: Homo Sapiens Superior / Mutant

Strength: Average

Stamina: Above Average

Speed: Average

Dexterity: Fine-tuned motor control particularly of his hands, able to perform unique movements without his hands shaking making him an incredibly good surgeon when wielding a scalpel.

Reflexes: Relatively quick but still average.

Power: Biokinesis / Healing / Restoration { More on this here }

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

Face Claim: Tom Hiddleston

Hair Colour: Dark blonde

Eye Colour: Gunmetal / Silvery blue

Height: 6 ft 2 / 188cm

Weight: 79 kg / 174 lbs.

Build: Slender but athletic & toned.

Somatype: Between ectomorphic and mesomorphic

Posture: Straight unless tired, then tends to slouch when sat.

Tattoos: N/A

Piercings: N/A

Dominant Side: Right

Blood Type: O - universal donor.

Distinguishing Marks: Several smaller scars littered across his hands from injuries prior to gaining his abilities, faint scar lines dotted across his torso from large injuries he tried to heal on others and ended up marking his own body instead. The most prominent is on the side of his neck typically covered by shirt collars and one on his temple from where he slipped and fell out of a tree he was climbing when he was a child.

Clothing Style: Really depends on the day sometimes this, or this but it’s nearly always some kind of combo of a jacket/blazer + top/shirt + jeans/trousers. Often he can be seen wearing glasses although these simply have plain glass in the lenses as he doesn’t actually specifically need them anymore now that his ability has developed. { More on this here }

Accessories: Always wears a wrist watch given to him as a gift by Ophelia.

Facial Hair: Typically is clean shaven but when he does have a beard tends to look along the lines of this.

Usual Expression: Occasionally distant, sometimes appears to be lost in thought but mostly just friendly.

Distinguishing Characteristics: Several smaller scars littered across his hands from injuries prior to gaining his abilities, faint scar lines dotted across his torso from large injuries he tried to heal on others and ended up marking his own body instead. The most prominent ones are one on the side of his neck typically covered by shirt collars, one on his temple from where he slipped and fell out of a tree he was climbing and another one on the lower angle of his jaw from where he slipped on the docks and fell hitting his chin on the wooden planks when he was a child.

PSYCHOLOGY

IQ: 122

Languages: English, French, Italian and can speak bits of the following: Afrikaans, Zulu, Setswana, Arabic.

Vocabulary: Articulate & thoughtful.

Memory: Rather good but nothing exceptional.

Temperament: Calm, level-headed.

Learning Style: Kinesthetic & Visual

Emotional Stability: Relatively stable, he doesn’t exactly give himself the time to talk about how he feels preferring to focus on other people because he deems their needs as far more important in comparison to his own. He uses his work to cope with things and will throw himself into work to the point of overworking himself to try and forget about things that are bothering him. Overall he’s pretty stable but if someone hits a nerve then they might just get to see he’s not quite as stable as he likes to appear on the outside.

Sociability: Jonathan is somewhere in the middle of this spectrum, he enjoys people’s company but he also needs some time to himself just to relax.

HEALTH

Physical Ailments: Growing up Jonathan suffered from short-sightedness, this was fixed by glasses and contacts and continud into his adult life. When his abilities manifested however, this restored his vision to near perfect levels but due to having spent his entire life wearing glasses he couldn’t simply stop. So now to avoid suspicion from people who knew him as a child he wears a pair of glasses with plain glass lenses and no curvature.

Neurological Conditions: Headaches often triggered stress or fatigue.

Allergies: N/A

Sleeping Habits: Generally his sleep schedule is a mess, especially when he gets night shifts ‘til the early hours of the morning. On those days he comes back and will sleep during the morning-afternoon and be up mid-late afternoon before trying to go to sleep correctly at 11/12pm that night.

Eating Habits: He’s a big fan of a medium cooked steak, seafood is one of his favourites and he has always loved crab, lobster, prawns and fish. Besides this he loves baked goods - a thing that has been the case ever since he was small.

Exercise Habits: He isn’t a total exercise freak but he enjoys going on long walks with Jas listening to music depending on his mood, otherwise he’s big on going for runs. Wherever his feet take him he’ll go, and depending on the day will depend how much he pushes himself. He tries to go out for at least an hour a day if he can.

Body Temperature: Warm but not too hot.

Addictions: Work.

Drug Use: None.

Alcohol Use: Mostly for pleasure, or social occasions. He enjoys the taste and company he tends to keep but other times he just enjoys it as a stress reliever but very rarely drinks enough to get drunk (difficult anyway due to his fast metabolism).

PERSONALITY

Label: The Helper

Positive Traits: Dependable, intelligent, level-headed, knowledgeable, charming, polite, steadfast, affectionate, sensitive, dutiful, sympathetic.

Negative Traits: Perfectionist, solitary, stubborn, reserved, self-depreciating, excessively humble, unwilling to take the spotlight.

Fears: People learning about what he can do, being persecuted for it, others being hurt for what he is.

Hobbies: Reading, sodoku, cooking, walking (Jas), running, listening to music, fishing, sleeping, playing chess, crosswords, watching TV, watching movies.

FAVOURITES

Weather: Snow, but not snowing. He likes days where the snow has settled and the sun is out causing it to glisten in the light. Besides this he loves rain, storms with thunder and lightning.

Colour: Blue, greys, white, blacks

Music: Jazz, Soul, Classical, Ballroom, Blues along with the odd bit of Indie thrown in

Movies: Hannibal, The Godfather, The Shawshank Redemption

Sport: Running, Tennis Skiing

Beverage: Single malt Speyburn Scotch

Food: Medium/Rare steak with a béarnaise sauce

Animal: Dogs

FAMILY

Andrew Kenneth Ryder → 68 Years Old → Jeremy Irons → Alive

Michelle René Ryder → 63 Years Old → Rene Russo → Alive

Children: N/A

Pet(s): Can be found here.

Family’s Financial Status: Upperclass

RELATIONSHIPS

Orientation: Bisexual, biromantic.

Relationship Status: Single

Current Love Interests: TBD

Former/Ongoing Love Interests: Ophelia Thorne

EXTRA

Zodiac Sign: Pisces.

MBTI: ISFJ-A

Enneagram: The Perfectionist - Type 1

Temperament: Phlegmatic

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Moral Alignment: Neutral good

Primary Vice: Wrath potentially?

Primary Virtue: Diligence or Humility

Element: Water

Likes: Roaming & travelling the world. Old architecture. Cathedrals. Long dinners by candlelight. Quiet. Chestnuts. Sunset. Stars. Night. Water of any kind but particularly the ocean. Fishing. Exploring. Long walks. A good log fire and the smell and sound of burning wood. Coffee, tea, hot chocolate, whiskey. The warmth of sunlight. The sound of rain. Piano soundtracks. France, Italy, London -- most European cities. Humour. Nature. Dislikes: Open shoes, Headaches. Loneliness. Dirty fingernails. Mould. Noise. Bullying. Racism. Bigoted individuals. Animal cruelty. Inequality. Spicy foods. Horror films. Liars. Politics. Slackers. Heavy traffic. Air pollution. Crowds. Feeling embarassed. Pushiness. Smoking. Overcooked food. Gawdy colours.

Tropes: A God Am I/God Complex, Actual Pacifist, Adorkable, Apologises a Lot, Beware the Nice Ones, Big Secret, Bi The Way, Break the Cutie, Broken Ace, Character Tics, Cultured Badass, Doesn't Like Guns, Everyone Has Standards, Geek Physique, Gentleman and a Scholar, Good Is Not Soft, Good Thing You Can Heal, Hates Small Talk, Heroic Neutral, Heroic Sacrifice, Hot Scientist, Loss of Identity, Nice to the Waiter, Omnidisciplinary Scientist, Papa Wolf, Sharp-Dressed Man, Stepford Smiler, Tranquil Fury

#character development #15 years later #I did a thing #and the tropes #lmao

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mastcomm · 5 years ago

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Coronavirus, Michael Bloomberg, Boy Scouts: Your Tuesday Briefing

(Want to get this briefing by email? Here’s the sign-up.)

Good morning.

We’re covering the growing repercussions of the coronavirus outbreak, the addition of Michael Bloomberg to this week’s Democratic debate, and a bankruptcy filing by the Boy Scouts of America.

Coronavirus is deadlier than flu, study finds

The fatality rate of the new coronavirus is far higher than that of the seasonal flu, according to a new analysis from the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention.

The study found a fatality rate of 2.3 percent in China as of last week, though later figures suggest the rate has increased. In the U.S., flu fatality rates hover around 0.1 percent. Here are the latest updates and maps of where the virus has spread.

Yesterday: Americans flown home from a contaminated cruise ship in Japan said they were unaware until late that some evacuees were infected. “I didn’t know until we were in the air,” said Carol Montgomery. “I saw an area of plastic sheeting and tape.”

Closer look: Cambodia’s decision to let hundreds of passengers leave another cruise ship on which a person was infected could dramatically complicate the effort to contain the virus.

Another angle: HSBC, one of Hong Kong’s most important banks, said today that it would cut 35,000 jobs over the next three years, in part because of disruptions caused by the outbreak. On Monday, Apple cut its quarterly sales expectations and warned that the virus threatened global supply chains.

Related: The Tokyo Marathon, which planned to accept about 38,000 runners, will be restricted to about 200 elite participants. The race is scheduled for March 1.

Michael Bloomberg qualifies for debate

The former mayor of New York is set to appear for the first time at a Democratic presidential debate, based on a poll released this morning that showed him with the requisite support.

Mr. Bloomberg had failed to qualify for past debates in part because the Democratic National Committee had set a threshold for campaign contributions, which he is not accepting. The elimination of that requirement — a change criticized by Mr. Bloomberg’s rivals — allowed him to join Wednesday’s event in Las Vegas. Nevada’s caucuses are Saturday.

“The Daily”: Today’s episode is about Mr. Bloomberg’s history of political and charitable contributions.

Another angle: Elizabeth Warren’s supporters are convinced that her message is being ignored, but they say writing her off would be a mistake.

A ‘good war’ deteriorates, but talks go on

When the U.S. invaded Afghanistan in 2001 and toppled the Taliban’s government, much of Afghan society welcomed American troops.

After 18 years, that good will has long faded. Some Afghan soldiers have turned on their American partners, in so-called green-on-blue attacks. Two U.S. soldiers were killed this month in such an assault.

In September, President Trump called off peace talks with the Taliban after an attack that killed an American. This time, with an agreement near, few are talking about the continuing violence.

Yesterday: A Taliban spokesman confirmed that the insurgents had agreed to the terms of a deal and that the signing would happen this month.

Related: The gun used to kill Sgt. First Class Javier Gutierrez and Sgt. First Class Antonio Rodriguez on Feb. 8 was among hundreds of thousands of small arms that the U.S. government has issued to Afghan forces.

Another angle: President Ashraf Ghani was declared the winner of Afghanistan’s presidential vote today after months of delayed results.

Europe resists anti-Huawei campaign

The U.S. effort to prevent the use of the Chinese company’s equipment in the next generation of wireless networks has largely failed, as European leaders discount American warnings that Huawei represents a security threat.

The U.S. said it will stop sharing intelligence with any country that uses Huawei equipment, but Britain appears to be paying no price for its decision to let the company into parts of its network. Germany looks poised to follow suit.

What’s next: The Trump administration is attempting to cut off Huawei from American technology, but the company is still outcompeting its few rivals.

Quotable: “Many of us in Europe agree that there are significant dangers with Huawei, and the U.S. for at least a year has been telling us, do not use Huawei. Are you offering an alternative?” said Toomas Hendrik Ilves, Estonia’s former president. “What is it that we should do other than not use Huawei?”

If you have 6 minutes, this is worth it

Young Somalis step up

Three decades of crises have left Somalia’s government incapable of providing even basic services. So young Somalis have sprung into action as volunteer medics, road-builders, educators and more.

After a deadly truck bombing in Mogadishu in December, volunteers including Dr. Amina Abdulkadir Isack, above right, tracked the victims, called their families and collected donations. “It showed us we could do something to save lives,” she said.

Here’s what else is happening

Bankruptcy filing for Boy Scouts: Facing a surge of legal costs over its handling of sexual abuse allegations, the Boy Scouts of America filed for bankruptcy protection today. It was unclear how the process would affect the 110-year-old organization, which has 2.2 million participants.

Smaller-than-expected opioid payout: Amid talks to settle thousands of opioid-related lawsuits nationwide, lawyers say the pharmaceutical industry is likely to pay far less compensation than envisioned.

Snapshot: Above, County Road JJ outside Arcadia, Wis., where a school bus slid off the road last fall. Throughout much of the Midwest and South, the rural transportation system is crumbling, and as supersize vehicles bear heavier loads, maintenance budgets can’t keep up.

What we’re reading: This collection of letters to The Guardian. “British newspapers’ letters pages are a peculiar sort of joy,” writes Peter Robins, an editor in our London newsroom. “Recently, readers of The Guardian have been debating how old you have to be before it’s eccentric to keep boiling up your annual 18-pound batch of homemade marmalade. Bidding started at 77 and has escalated rapidly.”

Now, a break from the news

Watch: Zoë Kravitz has her first lead role, in the Hulu series “High Fidelity.” She spoke to The Times about her acting and her life.

Read: “Apeirogon,” the latest novel from Colum McCann, examines the Israeli-Palestinian conflict through the eyes of two grieving fathers.

Smarter Living: Experts say the best way to form healthy habits is to tie them into existing patterns. Here’s more advice. (You can get the same tips delivered each day on Alexa smart speakers.)

And now for the Back Story on …

Somalia’s future

Abdi Latif Dahir is The Times’s East Africa correspondent. A Kenyan of Somali descent, he reports in and about several countries. We reached him in Nairobi, Kenya, to talk about his article mentioned above, about young Somalis.

This is such a powerful story of resilience and hope. How did you find it?

Late last year, there was a big attack in Mogadishu, the worst by Al Shabab in two years. And one thing stood out. Almost all the news stories mentioned that a lot of students had died, young people who wanted to be doctors or were studying other specialties that would help the country.

On Jan. 1, I flew to Mogadishu, to follow up on the attack and to write about these students and what they mean to Somalia.

My first story was about that, but also on how things had been getting so much better in Mogadishu — and it was all these young people doing it.

What else inspired you?

I went to this crisis center. They were collecting the names of the victims and reaching out to their families. I wanted to sit among them and see what it was like. They were checking in, asking the families, how are you today?

And maybe they’d hear that the hospital bill had been paid so that was OK, but the family hadn’t eaten breakfast that day. So they would corral someone to get food over to them.

I wanted to write about the chutzpah to invent these systems, to stay strong with all that was happening.

People could rattle off all these names of people they’ve known who’ve been killed. But then they would say, we want to stay here and be the ones to fix this country. They’re creating tech hubs, and restaurants and delivery services that are thriving. Because of the attacks on hotels and restaurants, it’s safer to stay home, have friends over and order a meal.

How is it being the East Africa correspondent?

I’ve had the job since November. It’s incredible. This is a dynamic, evolving region that’s changing socially, geopolitically, economically. It’s a great place to be a journalist. Honestly, you could write a story every hour.

That’s it for this briefing. See you next time.

— Chris

Thank you Mark Josephson and Eleanor Stanford provided the break from the news. You can reach the team at [email protected].

P.S. • We’re listening to “The Daily.” Today’s episode is about Michael Bloomberg. • Here’s today’s Mini Crossword, and a clue: Sound made with two fingers (four letters). You can find all our puzzles here. • Members of our Visual Investigations team recently answered reader questions on YouTube about their reporting techniques, how they choose stories and more.

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coin-river-blog · 6 years ago

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Freedom. Such a harmless word. Yet billions of people have died to defend those bloodstained syllables over the centuries. In the wake of the horrifying Christchurch shootings in New Zealand, Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison implored the G20 to discuss ‘crackdowns’ on the ‘ungoverned internet’. And Jacinda Ardern agreed.

Is it just me or does this feel like Gab all over again?

We Must Be Very Careful Before Taking People’s Voices Away

I never knew my Grandfather. He died before I was born but he spent several excruciating years fighting the Germans in North Africa. When his tank was hit by a shell instantly killing his 18-year-old colleague, whose entrails were spattered over my Grandfather’s face, it wasn’t live-streamed on Facebook.

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WWII tank hit by a shell in World War 2. | Source: Shutterstock

As the sole survivor of that harrowing incident, he would be the only person to replay the images over in his mind before taking them with him to his grave.

If social media wasn’t to blame for the Second World War that drew out the worst in humanity, then what was?

Without analyzing the causes or drawing parallels from one white supremacist to another, one common thread is human nature.

In the United States, freedom of speech is the First Amendment to the Constitution. But the problem is, humankind isn’t fit to say what it truly thinks. Start wielding around the wrong kind of words over there and you’ll be silenced pretty quick.

Whatever your ethnic, political, social, or economic background, most people agree that there are social codes and norms that don’t need to be written into law.

Most decent people aren’t going to load themselves up with firearms and rain down bullets on innocent people. They’ll probably just go on a rant after a couple of beers.

But, if we are a free society, is it right that they are silenced?

In France, a country famous for free expression where the Charlie Hebdo cartoonist team was gunned down by radical Muslims, one asks, should they have stopped drawing their caricatures?

Charlie Hebdo. | Source: Shutterstock

Who gets to say who plays, judge, jury, and executioner here?

Even if it makes us squirm in our private places, shouldn’t people be allowed to say what they think, whether it leads to a massacre or not?

In New Zealand, He Shall Be Nameless

New Zealand’s Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern delivered an emotional speech about the Christchurch shootings in parliament on Tuesday.

She claimed that the terrorist sought notoriety for what he did but when she spoke of him, he will be nameless.

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I’m fairly new to this PM, I have to be honest. She got on my radar simply for being young, feisty, and female. But beyond that, I can’t say with any certainty what her reactions are to “regular” terrorist attacks. You know, the ones that don’t happen in nice places like New Zealand by people who aren’t radical Jihadists.

Whether New Zealand’s Prime Minister doesn’t speak their names or not has little impact internationally. Yet, these people certainly don’t remain nameless.

In fact, their names are often released before the authorities are even sure whether they committed a crime or not.

Sometimes, innocent people are blamed, their reputations tarnished, families threatened, and lives ruined. All because they wear a headscarf or spicy aromas fill the air around their apartments at dinnertime.

Because they aren’t suspected white supremacists, they are suspected Jihadists. That’s different. And they are certainly not nameless.

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If we can’t put a name to the face, it’s probably because it turns our stomach. And it hits a lot closer to home.

No one asked New Zealand’s Prime Minister to comment on the latest terror attacks in Afghanistan, Tunisia or Syria. No one asks the New Zealand Prime Minister to comment on anything very much really.

I’d like to hope that she extends the same nameless policy to Muslim perpetrators, but I’d bet all my bitcoin she doesn’t.

Finding a Scapegoat for the Christchurch Shootings

Nameless or not, what’s now inevitably starting to happen is that white people racked with guilt and frustration are looking for a scapegoat.

After all, white people (especially nice Australian and New Zealand white people) don’t commit mass murders. That sort of thing happens in the U.S., where they give people free firearms at their local banking branch. What else do you expect?

But they don’t happen in the land of sheep and Hobbiton.

Someone must be to blame. And that scapegoat is social media. Whether it’s a prepubescent YouTuber with an ill-questioned sense of humor or everyone’s public enemy number one Facebook.

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Ardern implored social media platforms to “do more” to combat terrorism after the gunman (who shall remain nameless) live-streamed his horrific rampage on Facebook to 4,000 viewers before it was removed.

We cannot simply sit back and accept that these platforms just exist and that what is said on them is not the responsibility of the place where they are published… They are the publisher. Not just the postman.

Australian PM Calls for ‘Crackdowns’ on the Internet

Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison wasted no time in joining the social media lynch mob. It makes sense. The killer was Australian after all, he probably felt some semblance of responsibility.

He wrote a letter to the G20 imploring that world leaders discuss crackdowns on social media at the next summit:

It is unacceptable to treat the internet as an ungoverned space… It is imperative that the global community works together to ensure that technology firms meet their moral obligation to protect the communities which they serve and from which they profit.

Is It Just Me or Is This Gab All Over Again?

Let’s cut through the BS, hypocrisy, and guilt by racial association. This is Gab all over again.

The repugnant platform in which the low-ranking echelons of society gather together to voice their hatred. Everyone knew that Gab was a breeding ground of racial hate. But they were happy taking the money until the culprit of the Pittsburg synagogue killings turned out to be a platform user.

Listen very carefully because I shall say this only once. If you are going to support freedom of speech, it’s too late to ask people to be quiet once the ground is stained with blood.

You either believe in free speech or you don’t. You are either a propagator of a free country or you aren’t.

Politicians, if you’re going to use platforms like Facebook to push and promote your political agenda, you can’t suddenly sever their vocal cords because you don’t like how other people use them.

There are plenty of New Zealanders (I expect) who didn’t watch Ardern’s electoral campaign gather traction in the media. And plenty of Australians who sidestepped Morrison’s claims as he came to power.

No one asked them to watch a live stream of a mass shooting either.

We Are Not Responsible for Horrific Human Beings

What do you do after such an incident as the Christchurch shootings? Inaction is the worst and most impotent feeling of all, particularly when you’re at the helm of a nation.

But calling on social media platforms and asking them to monitor their content, ban what they see as inappropriate, and censor what a handful of deplorable people can’t handle is hypocritical and dangerous. It’s also highly temporary.

Scottie, just a heads up if no one told you, your country’s getting right behind blockchain–a decentralized technology that you can’t shut down or censor whether you like it or not.

Blockchain is gaining traction in Australia. | Source: Shutterstock

By calling for more regulation on the internet you are crossing a tightrope over a 100-foot drop. It’s a dangerous path fraught with infringed civil liberties and fine lines.

After all, who decides what’s fit for the public to see and what isn’t? Should we set up some kind of internet police? That’s too much responsibility to place on Zuckerberg’s shoulders alone.

Remember Life Before Social Media?

Maybe some of you don’t recall, but there was a time when social media didn’t exist. When I went to school every day, the villains of the show were violent movies and video games. That’s what provoked the unsociable children into carrying out abhorrent acts or beating on each other in class.

They would write a handwritten note with a pen and paper and pass it around to meet in the playground and attack a certain kid for being different. They didn’t need WhatsApp, YouTube or Facebook.

I think back to my Grandfather and so many others who fought for us so we could be free.

They didn’t die so that we could curtail our own civil liberties. They died to let us live. And the fact of the matter is that social media is no more of an enabler of evil than the spoken word and the humans behind it.

Let’s just let Gab, Facebook, and Twitter show us angles on the world the way it really is and decide what we want to see.

Yes. Nameless white supremacists and Jihadists might end up being radicalized by Facebook or YouTube. But long before that, it was the Hitler Youth.

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I would like to wrap this up by quoting some wise words, except I don’t know who actually wrote them. It was an episode of The Simpsons in which the intellectual young Lisa grew desperate over her father’s vigilante neighborhood watch group. She questioned:

If you are the police, who will police the police?

Let’s think very carefully before we start even planting the seeds of censorship in the internet. These things have a habit of growing out of our control.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in the article are solely those of the author and do not represent those of, nor should they be attributed to, CCN.

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