#he is 2 apples tall actually

[wolfchans]

floof ♡

[fevekko]

as close to canon x my style of the man the myth the legend, mr. scar goodtimes !! this was fun ^^

!!!!!!- i'm not sure who actually made the original template i used here, if anyone knows pls lemme know so i can properly credit them T^T tysm <333

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.2 terms and conditions

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fem reader, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, mentions of weed, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot

ᰔ chapter. 2/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 4.5k

a/n. if you see any typos, no you don't.

nav. masterlist

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

“And yeah, that’s basically what I’ll ask from him in return,” you say through a mouthful of your cereal in the morning after summarizing the conversation you had with your school’s star soccer player on Instagram last night.

Mina scrolled through the messages as she took another bite of her apple and gave you a questioning look as she set your phone down. “I’m still shocked at the fact that Gojo Satoru, the Gojo Satoru, sent you a message. Also, why does he want to help his horny friend this badly?”

“I don’t know. But will you do it?” You ask her with pleading eyes. “Just one weekend, that’s all it seems like he’s asking for. And then I’ll get what I want from him. You just have to pretend to be interested in his friend for a little bit.”

Mina leans back on the bar stool at the little raised counter in the kitchen. You liked it because it was a little bar space that opened up to the living room, being partially the reason why you convinced her to sign this lease with you. She swallowed before speaking. “I mean, the only reason I didn’t really like his friend that much was because he kept asking me out to a house party instead of an actual date.”

“Yeah, I know, I figured,” you say.

“Also, an 8AM English class is the absolute worst time to hit on someone.” She smiles at you. “But his friend isn’t bad looking. Not exactly my type, maybe a bit too beefy and masculine for me? I don’t know.” She pauses to take another bite of her apple, this time talking through her chewing. “I would say Gojo is more my type.”

He’s probably everyone’s type, you think to yourself. 

“Anyways, yeah, I’ll do it,” she easily agrees. 

“You will?” You gleam at her, your hands clapping together in happiness.

“Yeah, I will. If you think it’ll help you get what you want from him, then I’ll do it,” she smiles at you.

You run over to her, arms curling around her from behind as you say thank you, thank you, thank you and she pats at your forearm for you to ease up on your excessive gratefulness. 

-------

The weekend rolls around surprisingly fast and the hour that the party’s doors open is steadily approaching. Mina just came home from her work shift and was in the bathroom taking a shower while you sifted through your closet to figure out what to wear. You couldn’t believe you were actually going to an SAE house party. You’ve been to other college parties before, mostly in your first year, but never a fraternity’s, let alone the biggest one on your college campus. Was there some sort of waiting list? Some sort of etiquette that you didn’t know of? Your stomach flips at the prospect.

Your hands pull out a simple black dress that was tucked all the way to the right of your closet. It was a tiny bit wrinkled but it would do. Slipping on the dress, you turned to glance at yourself in the mirror. It had long, skin tight sleeves with a sweetheart neckline and the hem fell to the middle of your thighs, the material soft and silky. You suddenly felt a bit self conscious and ended up taking it off in favor of some ripped blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt instead.

Mina opened the door of the bathroom and stepped into your shared room, wrapped in a towel with her hair clipped up on her head. “Cute fit,” she compliments you as she also makes her way to her closet. “Ugh, I just want to go to bed. Why am I doing this again?”

“Because you love me,” you say.

“Yes, that’s why,” she sighs. She puts on a purple body-con dress that had beautiful sparkles on it, probably more fitting for the club than a house party, but who knows, maybe that ends up being the vibe of the place. 

You both sit on the floor in front of the mirror to do makeup, you finishing first since you wore a little less than her, and you help her draw the wings of her eyeliner. This sort of ritual was always the best before you went out with friends. The getting ready part was almost more fun than the actual going out part. 

A small fight took place between the two of you in terms of who would be designated driver, and Mina finally relents to allowing you to drive. You argued with her that she was doing you a favor, and that if Mina decides she needed some drinks during the night to take the edge off of having to talk to this Gojo Satoru friend, then she should be allowed to do that. Mina grabbed her purse and you grabbed your cross-body fanny pack as well as keys, and you were headed out the door.

As you drove down the street approaching the address, you both noticed a lot of the houses looked very similar with decorative sports flags, gaudy front-lawn decorations, and outside furniture. This was most likely the fraternity house strip of SAE where most of the guys lived and hosted parties. There were living places on campus for the members too, but those were usually for the people that organized the fraternity’s events. Loud approaching bass-boosted music filled the air and it suddenly became challenging navigating through all of the parked cars on the street as the GPS informed you that you were less than 500 feet from your location on the left. You luckily found a spot to park at the cul de sac a little further ahead and then you two were making your way to the house.

“4100, right?” Mina called after you as she shuffled a bit in her heels to catch up, arms crossing over her chest to warm herself up in the cold. You slowed down a bit for her.

“Yeah, this one I guess,” you point up ahead where you spot a group of people approaching the entrance where a guy seemed to be collecting payments. You notice him turn some people away from the door, confirming that there was some sort of screening process for entry, and you’re suddenly a bit anxious.

“Alright, y’all are good to go inside,” the guy at the door chirps to what’s left of the group that lined up before you two. He makes eye contact with you and Mina, straightening himself up a bit. “Ladies! Looking very gorgeous. I like the sort of casual tomboy with the bombshell friend pairing. Can’t say I’ve seen you two around here. Ever been to an SAE party before?”

“Nah, first time,” Mina says as she shivers from the cold.

“Aight, cool, you’ll definitely enjoy it. Ladies enter for free, so go on ahead,” he says, comically gesturing towards the door with both of his arms before he crosses them again and puffs out his chest. You resist the urge to roll your eyes. He has a little name tag that says Itadori Yuuji on it, which you’re almost certain no one even asked him to wear.

As you two make your way inside, you’re instantly reminded of why you hated places like this. Loud music reverberates throughout the entire room as people bustle around everywhere, some people dancing, some people standing, some people walking over to other areas, and a lot of people shamelessly making out. There was a lot more lighting than you were expecting, that sort of warm and dull suburban house lighting that reminds you of your childhood for some reason, but there were flashing lights across the ceiling that gave it more of a party feel. The house was two stories, and the staircase was visible from the entrance, leading up to a hallway at the top with a railing that oversaw the downstairs expanse before stretching out further into unseen territory where you assumed the bedrooms were. Your eyes instantly began scanning the room for any familiar faces, or for one Gojo Satoru. 

“Damn, just the smell of the alcohol alone has me about ready to throw up,” Mina says next to you as she takes a few steps further into the house. You follow behind her as she makes her way into what looks like the kitchen where there’s less people other than those refilling their drinks. She’s quick to pour some vodka into a plastic red solo cup before nonchalantly opening the fridge and pouring some orange juice into it as well. She glances up at you. “Don’t judge me.” You stifle a laugh. 

“Oh shit, sorry man,” a masculine voice behind you says and when you turn around, you’re face to face with quite possibly the most handsome man you’ve ever seen in your life. 

In all his glory, Gojo Satoru was standing in front of you. Just as the prophecy foretold, he was tall, at least an entire head above you, and irritatingly gorgeous. He was wearing gray sweatpants, untied drawstrings loosely hanging, with a black short-sleeved shirt that was tight around his biceps and lazily tucked into his waistband just at the front. He was holding two drinks in his hands, one clearly with some spillage as droplets fell from the base of it onto the tile of the kitchen, and his piercing blue eyes behind his tacky HO-HO party glasses widened at the sight of you. The guy behind him, who you assumed was the one he was apologizing to just a second ago, gave him a solid slap on the back and muttered a you’re good, dude before turning the corner back into the core of the party, leaving the three of you alone in the kitchen. 

You heard Mina cough a little behind you and you watched as Gojo’s eyes quickly darted to her.

“No way,” you hear Gojo mutter under his breath as he walks past you and makes his way around the kitchen island, setting the drinks in his hand down on the counter. “You’re Mina, right? I’m Gojo Satoru,” he says as if not everyone on campus knows who he is, and sticks his hand out for her to shake and she hesitantly shakes it. “Thanks for coming.” 

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Mina said, shooting you a glance. 

He then turns around and makes his way to you again, hand outstretched for you to shake, and you hesitantly do so as well. You immediately notice how the tips of his fingers feel calloused. “Hey, I’m Gojo Satoru. You’re y/n, right?” 

You nodded, for some reason unable to find your voice, and he peers over the ‘O’s on his glasses to look at you. His eyes were like the sparkling ocean under the sun, a tantalizing shade that sailors probably yearned for during long nights out at sea before they went overboard, chasing after sirens, and eventually drowning. Yikes, that got dark for some reason. But there was something dark about his eyes, too. “Yeah.”

He leans down closer to you, his mouth near your ear, and the fragrance of freshly-washed laundry consumes you. “Thanks, I owe you one. Find me later, ‘kay?” he whispers and you can feel his breath on your neck. The movement has your cheeks embarrassingly burning before he’s pulling away from you. He turns to Mina again. “You’ve met my friend Todo, right? He’s about sixty ounces deep into an insane round of beer pong, you wanna watch?” Gojo asks her with a weirdly wholesome smile on his face.

“How charming…” Mina says as she reluctantly walks over to him, giving you a darting look, and then he’s leading her out into the living room. You stand there in the kitchen, leaning against the island, finally noticing how fast your heart was beating. 

I mean, you knew he would be handsome. You saw all his Instagram pictures, and all the school advertising for the soccer team with his face all over it plastered practically around every corner on campus, but this was your first time seeing him in person and you hated how breathtaking he was. Like, how can people just casually be in his presence? You figured the only way was that they eventually get used to the way he just commands a room when he walks in. You wonder if you’ll ever feel relaxed in his vicinity. Part of you wishes you didn’t fight Mina so hard to be designated driver because now you were itching for a drink to calm your nerves. 

As a group of girls make their way into the kitchen, giggling about something some guy had said to one of them, you suddenly feel a little alone and make your way out into the living room as well. Your hands play with the strap of the fanny pack slung across your chest and just people-watch for a bit. Spotting the game of beer pong over in the corner, you see Mina watching with a bored expression and you let out a small laugh. The man at the end of the table had a ping pong ball in his hand, and you immediately identified him as this Todo guy. Mina’s description was pretty spot on, definitely beefy and masculine, and he was the only one in that corner that had his shirt off for some reason.

He aimed for the opposing side’s remaining two cups of beer, the ball looking comically tiny in his large hand, and when he threw it the ball landed right in one of the cups. A look of excitement flashed across his face before a bunch of the guys started smacking his chest, yelling something like “has to be a bounce shot, dude” and he suddenly looked agitated all over again. A small smile makes its way on Mina’s face and you’re surprised to see it. 

Standing next to her was Gojo, tall and his presence imposing, as he silently watched the rowdy game with his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants and back leaned against the wall. There was a curious expression on his face and you tilted your head to the side, enjoying the moment to just study him for a little bit. 

“I like your fanny pack,” you hear a voice say from behind you that has you twirling around. You look up and find yourself staring at yet another handsome man. This one had dark black hair that was tied up into a man bun with some short tendrils of hair falling onto one side of his forehead.

“Oh, thanks,” you say awkwardly.

“Where are my manners? I’m Geto Suguru, nice to meet you,” he says as he stretches the hand that was not occupied by his drink out to you. 

You shook his hand, noticing calluses on his fingers too. “Nice to meet you, too. I’m y/n. What’s with everyone here and shaking hands? I feel like I’m at a job interview.”

The man in front of you chuckles. “You’re funny,” he says. “Haven’t seen you around here. Which sorority are you in?”

“Oh, uh, I’m not in one. I live with my friend Mina about 20 minutes from campus,” you awkwardly say.

A slightly surprised expression flashes across his face as he nods slowly and you can see it in his face that he’s searching his brain for a follow-up question when someone behind him taps his shoulder.

“Hey, Suguru, do you know what time practice is tomorrow? Itadori-kun swears it’s at three, but I have a meeting at that time, so if that’s true then I’m in some trouble,” the guy behind Geto says. Sigh. Once again handsome. He was tall, had broad shoulders, and cleanly styled blonde hair with a sharp jaw that made him look like he just stepped out of a James Bond movie.

“Pretty sure it’s at six. I’d check with Satoru, though,” he jutted his chin over in the direction of the beer pong table. “Oh, this is y/n by the way. She’s not in a sorority, but she lives 10 minutes away from campus.” Geto steps to the side a little and the blonde stranger steps into his space.

“20 minutes,” you correct him and this time, you’re the one to stretch your hand out. The man in front of you shakes it, and once again you notice calluses. This must have to do with soccer, then. His handshake was firm, short, and intentional, and you could tell he was probably studying a respectable major. 

“I’m Nanami Kento, but just call me Kento,” he says in a smooth voice. “Excuse me,” he says and he’s making his way past you over to the beer pong table. 

Geto’s glance falls on you again, but suddenly feeling awkward you excuse yourself from him to go use the restroom. You haven’t had this much social interaction in a long time and you needed to get away from the noise for a second. As you make your way past the kitchen into a narrow hallway, you realize you have no idea where the restroom is. One of the door handles has a sock on it, gross, so you ignore it all together. You finally reach a door that could potentially be a restroom, and you’re overjoyed that you don’t hear any voices inside when you knock on it. You allow yourself inside and close the door behind you. 

The bathroom was surprisingly well-kept from what you expect of a frat house. There’s about three different toothbrushes in a round plastic tin on the counter of the sink, but you’re sure that there’s more than three guys that live here so there must be another bathroom upstairs too. Glancing at your reflection, you notice that some of your mascara has smudged a little so you use your finger to wipe the excess off and then you reapply a thin layer of lip balm over your lips. You contemplate actually taking a piss, but you realize you don’t really need to. With a few deep breaths, you’re out into the hallway and almost make it back into the kitchen before bumping into a certain white-haired man at the kitchen entrance.

“Oh, hey, fancy seeing you here again,” Gojo says with a grin and your eye twitches slightly. He was still wearing those HO-HO glasses (Christmas was literally over two months ago) and this time there were some sort of black painted lines underneath both of his eyes. He was extremely hot but definitely somewhat unserious about his appearance.  

Gojo glances down at your empty hands and tips his head to the side a little. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Uhh, water?” You offer.

He lets out a laugh, his hand flying to his stomach, and you realize he thinks you're joking. When your expression doesn’t budge, his smile drops. “Seriously?”

“I’m DD for Mina,” you say as you walk around him and make it into the kitchen where you find a pitcher of water. Your heart still races a bit at the sight of Gojo, but you enjoy the peace and quiet that the kitchen provides you away from the party around the corner. 

“So, y/n,” you hear Gojo say behind you. You’re not quite used to hearing your name casually roll off his tongue. He’s suddenly at your side, leaning back against the edge of the island and crossing his arms as he looks down at you to watch you pour your water. It takes everything in you to not glance over at how nice the muscles of his arms probably look across his chest. “What exactly are those terms and conditions you spoke of?”

Your face flushes slightly. You remind yourself that this is the man that you were Instagram DMing at two in the morning earlier this week. It feels weird, considering at the time he seemed more like a made-up character in your mind but now that you’ve actually met him, you realize that he is indeed a living, breathing, real person. When you take a sip of your water, you realize just how parched you really are. 

“Okay, hold on a sec, there’s no way you’re just drinking water all night long. There’s some non-alcoholic punch in the other room. Be right back,” he says and he’s gone from your side. You miss the heat from his body. 

He returns shortly after with a cup of punch in his hands and slides it to you across the counter. You grip onto it and stare into the deep red liquid. 

“Okay, so,” he says as he leans back against the counter again, this time a bit closer so his arm was brushing against your shoulder. Your skin burns at the contact. “Your terms and conditions?”

You found it a bit odd that he was so adamant to satisfy these conditions of yours, considering he already won. You had successfully brought Mina to the party, and it seemed like she was getting along with his friend Todo. It shouldn’t really matter what you wanted from him anymore. You suppose that maybe he was just a man of his word. 

You sigh, remaining facing the counter of the island as you glance at all the types of alcoholic bottles and cans laid out on it. “Well, my request is pretty simple.”

“Hmm,” you hear him hum inquisitively beside you.

You finally turn to face him and you instinctively put a hand over your heart as though to reprimand it to stop beating so fast in his presence. He notices the movement. “I want you to get me onto the soccer field at a few of your practices or games so I can take film photos of the players.” 

Gojo takes his HO-HO glasses off and sets them down on the counter, a serious expression on his face. You notice how nice his eyelashes are. 

“Your terms and conditions are…that you want me to help you take photos of a bunch of sweaty dudes?” he asks. “You’re kinda freaky.”

You roll your eyes and send him an annoyed look. “They’re not for me, they’re for one of my class assignments. I’m taking this film photography class, and my professor is obsessed with the school’s soccer team. Pretty much all of his lectures start with goal-by-goal breakdowns of your guys’ most recent game. If I submit some stellar-looking film photos of the action on the field, he’d give me a good grade and a good letter of recommendation.” You notice Gojo tense up slightly in front of you. “I’m trying to get into this one graduate program.” 

You watch his chest rise and fall with a deep breath as he turns his head to look away from you and instead look straight ahead at the fridge. Long lashes flutter against the top of his cheeks every time he blinks. His arms that were crossed at his chest rise a little as he shrugs. “Yeah, I guess I can do that for you.”

You can’t control the smile that spreads across your face when he acquiesces. This was a really good opportunity for you. You pick up the punch that he gave you and almost bring it to your lips when he speaks again, interrupting the motion.

“Your pictures are pretty good, by the way,” he says, still staring straight forward at the fridge.

Your mouth gapes slightly. “How have you seen my photos?”

He looks down at you, an eyebrow raised. “I follow you on Instagram, dummy. Also, you never followed me back.”

You’re standing there a little stunned at the conversation. He speaks to you so casually as if you haven’t just met him tonight. “Sorry, I only really follow back my friends…”

“Are we not friends?” It’s your turn to let out a laugh, thinking he’s joking, only to realize he’s not.

“I’ve literally just met you…speaking of, I should probably pour my own drink,” you say as you slide the punch back onto the counter top over to him and turn away to head in the direction he had gone to retrieve it for you. You hear him mutter an ouch from behind you at the implied accusation you just made but you remind yourself that this man is essentially a stranger to you, and the only things you know about him are things you’ve heard from other strangers. 

You spot Mina still by the beer pong table, this time heavily invested in the game and she even flirtatiously blows on Todo’s ping pong ball for good luck before he chucks it at the opposing teams’ cups, entirely missing, but Mina reaches up to place a kiss on his cheek regardless. Your jaw drops at the sight. She was going to be answering a lot of your questions in the morning. 

You find the punch table, pour yourself some, and realize that it was indeed non-alcoholic and pretty damn good. Mina finally makes eye contact with you from across the room and she leaves the table to make her way to you.

“Y/n! OMG, I was lookin’ for you, girl!” She sounded a bit tipsy. “What time is it? I totally forgot I have a stupid discussion post thingy due at midnight.”

You pull your phone out of your fanny pack and read the time that says 11:12PM. It was still a bit early to leave a party, but you supposed it was up to Mina. “It’s 11:12PM. There’s no traffic so it would probably just take us around 10-15 minutes to get home. You wanna leave?”

She sighs and turns around to look at Todo, who was giving her a sleazy look and mouthing what’s wrong, babe? Mina shakes her head at him pitifully and then turns her head back to you with sulking shoulders. “Yeah…stupid professor making those posts 25% of our entire grade…”

You laughed and made sure she grabbed her purse before you two headed towards the exit. You bumped into Geto again on your way out and gave him a polite goodbye and then you two were out of the door, loud party noises getting further and further as you made it to the car. Mina trailed a bit behind you but eventually made it over to the passenger side door. You unlocked the car and she made it inside, but before you do the same, your phone pings with a notification from Instagram.

|| 11:16PM Gojo Satoru: I’ll let you know our practice and game schedule for the next week. Just let me know what times you’re interested in stopping by

A small twinge of excitement fills your chest and you’re suddenly feeling some sort of high as you slide into the driver’s seat of the car. Mina’s mumbling something like turn on the heateeerrr beside you, and you put the car in drive then take the two of you home.

a/n. apologies for any formatting errors since i'm copy/pastin from my ao3! i've tried to manually fix them all but i'm too lazy to read the whole thing to fix it lol. hope you enjoyed!

➸ take me to chapter three!

[kisses4reid]

convenient pt. 2 | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,

pt. 1 (you cannot read part 2 with no context).

summary - he totally just cares if you pass your exams, nothing else. there is no other reason he keeps coming back to your convenience store.

genre - fluff, fem!college!reader x early season!spencer

warnings - school work, incorrect science stuff bc i’m just a girl

a/n - thank you all for the love on the first part!!! it was so surprising, especially since it was the first fic i’ve uploaded on this blog, i love y’all so much 🫶 thank you to those who suggested to make this a series, i would’ve totally made this a oneshot if not for y’all.

“you got any plans tonight spencer?”, morgan asked, taking his jacket off the back of his chair, passing spencer’s clean desk.

“uh, yeah actually.”

“really?” morgan stopped beside him, looking over his shoulder, a smirk crawling up, “with who?”

“moby dick.” spencer lied, morgan rolled his eyes.

“you’re no fun man.”

the doorbell rang, but after not seeing a certain skinny man for two nights, you’re mind starting to reset into the ‘studying grind mode’ it had been on before meeting spencer. stop thinking about spencer, keep studying.

three ladies dressed in short skirts, a white man with dreads (yikes), and a boy around 8 years old checked out with various items before a 3 minute cannelloni, bag of coffee, and an apple landed in front of you. before you could look up he spoke,

“how did your assignment go?” you jumped in your seat, nearly punching the man in the face before you placed a hand over your heart and sighed,

“good lord, you need to learn how to walk louder.”

spencer grinned. you scanned the cannelloni, he glanced at your hand still over your heart.

“rubatosis.”

“bless you?”

“the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.” you glanced up and saw him looking at your hand with a thin lipped awkward smile. you quickly put your hand down and continued scanning, pushing a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

“we all know words. like… vellichor.” you spoke, packing his things in the same plastic bag he brought just little of a week ago. he tilted his head,

“the love of used bookstores?”

“i saw old books in your car.”

“you were looking in my car?” he put his hands in his pockets, as he looked out the window to his parked vehicle, not planning to pick up his bag of ‘groceries’ anytime soon. only then did you notice his tie was askew, his hair a little disheveled, his eyes a little sunken. the doorbell rung, a middle-aged balding man walking in behind spencer.

“i’m observant. $12.98.” he whipped out a slim wallet from his back pocket, flicking through some notes to pull out a $20. you ruffled through the register for his change as he remarked,

“you didn’t even look at the register.”

“don’t need to, you’re predictable.” you reply with a sneaky smile, causing spencer to copy reluctantly.

there was an awkward cough from behind him, the middle-aged man. spencer turned back to you after realising that he was in fact in a convenience store, and you were in fact the only worker there. “sorry sir, um. bye.” he took his bag, the thin lipped smile becoming nearly as predictable as his late-night groceries.

“bye.”

the tall, awkward, superbly smart man who smelt like wood didn’t show up for 5 nights. you thought there were only three possibilities at his absence: sickness, death, or he’s learnt how to cook.

you thought the next time you saw him you would ask more about him. in between studying, classes, and working, there wasn’t much time for a social life in your day to day. or maybe you wouldn’t. maybe he wasn’t showing up because he wasn’t really a regular, just a guy who needed quick meals, coffee, and apples on those specific nights. that’s insane, you are insane, get back to studying.

you almost didn’t recognise him the next night. same clothes, same height, same cologne, different face. dark circles under his eyes, permanent lines between his eyebrows, and a purple bruise on his left cheek. it was silent, he was the only customer at 11:30pm. you both made eye contact while you scanned his items, (same things plus a travel first aid kit) silently observing his expectant expression before you broke the silence.

“i’m not going to ask.”

“i got hit with the butt of a gun.” he said matter of factly.

you halted, coffee bag in hand, and stared at him, squinting. “…okay. actually i am gonna ask. who would hit a librarian with the butt of a gun?”

he scrunched his eyebrows and tilted his head, blinking, “i’m not a librarian. why do you think i’m a librarian?”

you packed his things, “smart, dressed posh, just general mysterious good looking librarian vibe,” he handed you a $20, “you remind me of a pipe cleaner with eyes.”

he raised an eyebrow, breaking eye contact, “not the first time i’ve heard that.”

you laughed, thinking it was a joke. his shoulders relaxed, the lines between his eyebrows softening. he grabbed his things, “bye, y/n.”

“bye, spencer.”

you were so close to finding out more about him. how the hell does a man that looks like that get into so much trouble?

you finish your shift, packing your textbooks and now flat laptop, locking everything up and turning the lights off. it was 1am. and, spencer was asleep in his car.

you looked around and put your jacket around your shoulders before jogging up to his driver’s window. his head was lulled to one side, mouth closed, chest rising softly. you knocked, and suddenly he was wide-eyed and searching for something.

“spencer? what are you still doing here?” you speak just loud enough for him to hear behind the window, which he promptly put down. you had a split second realisation how crazy this was. checking in on a regular, watching a regular sleep, feeling safe enough to approach a man’s car just because he buys the same thing every night he comes to the convenience store.

“sorry, i didn’t mean to fall asleep. i- uh,” he wiped his face, “sorry.”

you look at him with concern, “it’s okay, just.. try not to look like you were waiting for me to finish my shift to kidnap me next time, okay?”

he sighed and nodded. waving goodbye, you started down the street, your apartment only being a block away. over the music now playing in your ears, you heard a car drive away, mixing with your confused thoughts about who this regular really is and what he does for a living. and how does he look that good.

he was back the next night, same black slacks, with a purple sweater a shade darker than your own.

“hey spencer, before i scan your 3 minute bolognese, coffee and bag of apples-“

“how did you get that perfectly-“

“i’m going to ask this and you’re going to answer, okay?”

you know nothing about this man, but talking to him like a good friend felt natural now. though, you still tried to avoid over stepping it.

“-though you don’t actually have to answer it. you are a customer and i can’t force customers to do anything but- seeing as though you know i’m a college student and that i work at this convenience store and that i sort of suck at biology- sorry i’m rambling,” you take a breath, “where do you work?” you finish, spencer smiling slightly. you were surprised he didn’t cut you off to stop you, like everyone else did. he didn’t answer at first, the squeak of your shoe against the floor displayed your anxious tell.

“i can’t tell you.”

you sighed, rolling your eyes and packing his stuff, he already had a $20 ready in his hand. you took it, fingers brushing slightly against his. “you suck, and your so suspicious. i should just call security.”

he looked around, fiddling his fingers together, “you don’t have security.”

you pointed to a dead cockroach outside underneath the warm street light. “yes we do. why do you think he’s twitching? he’s insane, he’ll hurt you.”

he chuckled, the sound bringing a shade of pink to your cheeks. “you don’t work on weekends.”

you squinted, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and maybe a bit of fear. “what.”

“i came in on a weekend and a man was here.” he explained as you nodded.

“yeah, no i don’t. why?”

spencer gulped, taking his bag, and smiling awkwardly, “nothing, bye!”

you waved, confused. also stressed, you hadn’t worked on your psychology assignment while waiting for him to show up.

pt. 3

taglist- @jeffswh0re @hypotheticallyspeakingwitch @wannabewolf @evysian @trashmonstersara

[lorenzozurzolocanruinmylife]

Mattheo’s girl -Theo Nott x reader/ Mattheo Riddle x reader

(Based on Rick Springfield’s song Jessie’s girl)

T.W.= smut, mdni, kind of stalkerish behavior, alcohol, cigarettes, hopefully that’s it

Mattheo is a friend

Yeah, I know, he's been a good friend of mine

But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define

Mattheo's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine

Theo stayed restless all night, turning right and round in his bed, he went outside to smoke at least 10 times. Something that has been happening for quite sometime, Theo could precisely pinpoint the day he started dealing with this type of struggle, one which he couldn’t seem to get rid of, no matter how hard he tried.

Actually, he could locate the exact place and moment in which things had changed, and his world had turned upside down.

10th of October, 2 months previously

The great hall was filled with noises, glasses clinking, first years snickering, professors chatting.Theo, Enzo, Pansy, Blaise, Draco and Astoria were already at the back of the Slytherin table, discussing their usual topics always adding some new aspects to it.

The only missing piece in their habitual frame was Mattheo Riddle.

The thing about that devilish boy was that nobody ever truly knew where he was or what was he doing.

Lately though, Theo, his very best friend, had notice a shift in his behavior. He found his mate even more mysterious than usual, if that was even possible. He was sly and vague anytime someone asked him anything.

Another thing that Theo seemed to have perceived was the way he came back late in the middle of the night, or how often he just didn’t come back.

Now, everybody knew Mattheo’s nature and the tendencies he had, rumor has it he has an outstanding count, body count obviously. He never denied said rumor, actually, he bashed in the pride that came along with it.

So it should have been normal really, but he never talked about his latest hookups, topic that he was extremely open about, in the quidditch’s changing room, as a fun story time at parties, hell even in class snickering right under Snape’s nose.

He collected those anecdotes mostly to narrate them in a crowd…and now…he just disappeared and came back, not speaking a single word, not indulging in any verdict his friends tried to state.

The only thing that talked were his eyes, and an unnoticeable glistening sparkle of something that Theo had never seen in those, usually starless, eyes.

In the middle of dinner, every single noise, was silenced by a far more powerful one.

The two huge door leaves opened, behind them Mattheo, who was so tall that he shielded you from everyone’s sight.

Until you took his hand in yours and started walking beside him, nearly skipping, looking completely devoted to each other, so much that you both didn’t remotely seem to notice everyone’s stare. He finally arrived at his normal spot, bringing you along.The noises came back to life but not to everybody, no, because Theo hadn’t heard even a single sound from the moment he laid his eyes on you. Let alone he couldn’t see anybody else, or understand anything.

“Guys, I want you all to meet the apple of my eye, my sweet lovely awesome girl. This is y/n, who I’m sure you’re gonna love just as much as I do” Mattheo couldn’t understand how much this last statement would become true. While he showed you off, his eyes filled with thousands of those damn sparkles, Theo started to feel the need to hold you.

And she's watching him with those eyes

But how could he do that if you were so absorbed in Mattheo, focusing on him, and only him.

Theo never knew envy, and he never even remotely thought how gut wrenching it could feel, until that moment; that horrifying split second, that for some reason couldn’t seem to pass.

“Nice to meet you! I’m y/n, you must be Theo? I’ve heard a lot about you” you outstretched your hand towards a very unresponsive Theo.

You knew who he was. That was enough gasoline to light up an immense fire in his chest, so vast that it reached his throat, making him cough, and finally his face…painting him red.

He couldn’t tell if it was more passion or embarrassment he was enduring, but he knew he was crumbling under your beautiful gaze, nonetheless he couldn’t stop this absolutely awkward scene, because of how little and weak he felt.

He took your hand.

He looked up at you.

“I’m sorry- it- it’s just I never thought I could ever meet Mattheo’s girl…never even thought he could have just one” he whispered the last part, you seemed to have heard it though and you laughed, surprisingly.

In that instant- you drying your tears caused by the loud heartfelt laugh, him gaping at your smile, feeling an incredible uncontrollable high because he made you laugh- he knew ha was at your mercy.

Pathetic and lost in you.

Time passed and you started becoming a constant presence in the group, this was driving Theo mad, because he needed to be near you just as much as he wished to be as far away from you as possible.

He was starting to doubt his morals, because anytime he saw you, the feeling he was harboring in his chest- involuntarily- was becoming more and more voluntary. Not only this, but he cared less and less about his best friend, and the fact that you were his.

In fact Theo was convinced that if he had the chance to take you away from Mattheo he would, he desperately wanted to make you his. No matter how traitorous he’d have to be. The only thing that stopped him was you.

And she's loving him with that body, I just know it

Yeah, and he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You were in love with Mattheo.

Just as much as he loved you.

Just as much as Theo loved you.

You loved him in the daylight, when anyone could see it, walking with him hand in hand, always sitting next to each other -Theo thought that at least it was better than to see you sitting ON him-

always exchanging notes, winks, flying kisses and so much more.

But he knew you loved him in the moonlight, where no one could see.

You loved him with your body.

He just knew it…

31st of October

The Slytherins were organizing a Halloween party, that was one of the most awaited every year.

You were in Mattheo’s dorm, laid down on him, facing him lazily while sharing some light kisses. You decided to go at the party in a couple’s costume, as if you hadn’t launched your relationship enough -thought Theo, who would have done anything to go with you, even if it meant dressing up in the most ridiculous way ever.

As soon as Theo entered the room, followed suit by Enzo, he felt as if the scene unfolding before him was stolen directly from his nightmares.

He craved your touch, your faint kisses, your arms around his neck and your sweet words, just as much as he needed to throw up right there and then.

Enzo peeked over Theo’s shoulder as he was standing still paralyzed by the envy tugging at his heart, and mostly clouding his mind. He gave his friend a little push, “move your perv ass Theo, I need to pee” and just then he realized Mattheo was glaring at him because of his blatant stare, so he coughed and immediately threw himself on his bed.

Mattheo turned his glare towards him again, protectively holding you twice as close as before. It was no secret that he was jealous of anyone who simply looked in your way, how could he not? You were attractive in a way that was far more than just physical, your whole self had a pull on every single person you met, you were irresistible. That’s probably why his friends, who were the most selective and elitist group of people in the whole school not only accepted you as one of their own, but also requested your presence the very few times you weren’t around.

Theo heard some of the suggestions you two were debating for the costumes, imagining him and you in each of them.

He started to feel hot as the options were becoming doubly spicier than the other.

He had to get out of there.

The party had already started when you guys showed up, you were gorgeous, dressed in a long white dress that had a pretty deep neckline, and where your heart was supposed to be there was a knife with fake blood all over. You had a white veil too, while Mattheo was wearing a tux with red handprints on the shirt.

It was sickening really, you were a bride, and he was your goddamn husband. Theo who was already holding a drink downed it as fast as he could. Trying to get that horrible image out of his mind.

As you reached the group everyone was complimenting you both, “you’re the it couple” “you guys look so good as husband and wife!!!” Pansy and Astoria yelled. They stole you away from your fake husband to dance and take far too many shots. Which still weren’t half the ones that Theo drank, in fact he could hardly stand on his two feet.

He returned to the group, and he thanked whoever was helping him from above that you weren’t there, because in the state in which he was he would have definitely poured his feelings out, and possibly even a mix of the cocktails he downed.

“Man I’ve never seen you so whipped for any girl- actually I may have never seen you even interested in any girl. Y/n has some super power” Blaise said teasingly to Mattheo, who was looking out for you from a distance just to know you were safe, and also because he was entirely too stunned by your beauty. “What can I say? I knew from the very first second I’ve looked at her that she was the one, she doesn’t remind me of any other girl that I’ve met, I don’t think I could find another one like that” “And also, look at her” Enzo chimes in raising his eyebrows, earning a push and a chuckle from Mattheo.

Theo was sat on the sofa, his head in his hands, thinking that it was better if he just kept silent and even better if he didn’t spare you one glance.

As the party went on he watched as you and Mattheo were tangled in a hot embrace while dancing, touching each other and basically humping to the rhythm of the music. He suddenly grabbed a girl that was dancing in front of him, with his eyes wide shut he started to imagine it was you dancing, it was you pressed tightly against him, it was you kissing him and it was you he was leading to his dorm.

He was about to stumble in with the mystery girl, the actress, until he heard some loud noises.

He broke away from her, telling her to stay quiet, while he slowly leaned towards the door hearing the most heavenly gasps and moans he ever heard. He turned back to the girl and while she tried to imply to go back to her dorm, he ignored her turning back once more.

Obviously she wasn’t expecting this, and left as disappointed as Theo had never left another girl before. But he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to hear more, to fuel his fantasy, giving it something concrete, starting somewhere real to land in his most incredibly feral imaginations. He leaned a bit more on the door and it opened slightly, he was relieved that it didn’t make any noise, and most importantly he was ecstatic that he got to sneak the sight he had been dreaming about since the day he first saw you.

He didn’t care that this was clearly a violation of your privacy, he couldn’t bring himself to look away.

The image of you on top of his best friend, bouncing on him, small drops of sweet sweet sweat running down the valley of your perfect round tits that went up and down with your every move. He was enchanted by it all, this was something that he had dreamt and imagined countless times, but nothing compared to the real deal.

He gave up trying to not touch himself, and he started to unbutton his pants hurriedly reaching his hardened dick and as you came closer and closer to your climax so did he. He didn’t feel shame, he felt closer to her, as if his hands were the ones grabbing her, his body the one loving her, his cock the one pleasing her.

When he came undone, he stepped away from the doorway, muttering “I wish that I had Mattheo’s girl”, passing a resigned hand over his face.

The next morning he felt outrageously ill, inflamed with an unadulterated jealousy seeing your naked form, covered with the white sheets of his best friend’s bed, but mostly covered by his best friend’s embrace. He just couldn’t wrap his head around how unfair was the fact that the bastard could wake up to your beautiful goddess like body in his arms, his face next to your angelic one. He should have been the one, he should have been the one having you.

You know, I wish that I had

Mattheo's girl

I wish that I had Mattheo's girl

Where can I find a woman like that?

Theo in an attempt to be rational had decided to give other girls a try, certainly he would find what he saw in you in someone else, right?

Wrong!

He couldn’t keep count of how many boring chats, meaningless one night stands, and dates he had endured trying to find someone like you.

He definitely remembered when that realization hit, that simply no one could compare.

Double date, Hogsmeade, Theo, girl n.17, Mattheo, you. Splendidly suggested by his very best mate in question.

12th of November

Just like any other Saturday a trip to Hogsmeade was planned, and the group of boys were all getting ready in their shared dorm.

“Guys which should I wear for my date with y/n? Green or grey?” Mattheo asked turning toward the others holding up two sweaters. “Dude whatever, it’s not like it’s your first date” Draco answered him annoyed with his friend that couldn’t for the life of him spend some time alone with his friends anymore, Theo couldn’t blame him though. He knew that if he ever had someone like you, he too would exploit every single second to be around you, not wasting anytime with anyone else. Exactly the opposite of what his plans were for this not-so-exciting evening. “I heard someone else here is going on a first date? Or should I say hundredth, huh lover boy?” Enzo raised his eyebrows mimicking a kiss aimed at Theo, who threw him a pillow to shut him up. “Yeah mate what’s up with this slut era of yours? You’re trying to catch an std or sum?” Blaise asked him giving him a nasty side eye “I just give the ladies some sugar, you know, there’s enough for everyone” Theo smirked, trying to conceal his cringed reaction to what he had just said. And mostly trying to hide the unbearable truth, that you were no some girl. You were Y/n, unique, funny, charming, genuine, his sweet forbidden fruit.

He tuned the guys out, not caring in the least of what they had to say about his unconventional DonGiovanni’s lifestyle, to think about you just like he always did. What brought him back to reality was the same thing that took him away in the first place. Y/n. As soon as he heard your name his head shot up, his stare that was lost on the wall in front of him focused once more on his friends.

“Huh?” “Why don’t you and your girl hang with us? Like a double date?” Mattheo suggested finally having settled on the grey sweater, “Why?” Theo let that out with a baffled expression, doubting this could ever be a good idea. He himself knew that he wouldn’t have resisted being in the same room with Mattheo always touching and kissing you. And he definitely knew that the poor girl he brought along would be discarded the very instant that his eyes found you, because wherever you were so was his undivided attention.

But then he thought again, still convinced that he could find a replacement for you, someone else that could steal his heart from you after you had done that to him yourself. He thought that the best way to know if this girl could take your place was for her to show him, with you there, that she was a fair opponent. As Mattheo rambled about giving him an example of what true love should look like and yada yada, Theo just shrugged and agreed.

In hindsight he couldn’t have been more wrong, or maybe he was right, when he had first thought that the girl would have been discarded, and that he wouldn’t have notice any other person as long as you were there.

But there he was, sat at a very small table at madam Puddifoot’s tea shop, regretting his every choice, with a very plain and awkward ravenclaw girl by his side, and in front of him the awfully cutesy couple seemingly having a staring contest.

The poor girl, Vic or something, was trying to make small talk and each time Theo just mumbled something in return. You on the other hand were always so nice and entertaining, not wanting her to feel left out you talked about every possible topic.

I'll play along with the charade

There doesn't seem to be a reason to change

You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute

I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot.

But even though he knew it didn’t make sense, none of it made sense, him being there, him being there with that girl, he decided to just keep up with whatever this seemed to be. So for the rest of the evening he tried to be as charming as one should be on a first date, subtly trying to make you laugh more than he made her, and more than Mattheo made you. Being slightly arrogant about his advanced potions’ skills, his good grades, his quidditch wins and this sort of things.

And despite his real attempt to woo the girl just for the façade’s sake, as if for some cruel divine joke he seemed to have way more chemistry with you. Indeed you laughed at his stupid jokes, you didn’t stand back on an exchange of witty and cunning banter, and at one point you even completed one of his sentences. He felt like he was going to die if he had to keep faking this misplaced interest for just one second longer, until he looked at you, really looked at you. Nearly fused with Mattheo, holding one of his hands while his other was under your sweater. Exchanging sweet nothings at the same time you were talking to him. And Theo, who wasn’t a stranger to this scene, still felt like he was about to crash out, blinded by the infamous green eyed monster, and just like on the night of Halloween he felt dirty. This was one of those epiphanic moments in which he regained lucidity, disgusted with his behavior.

He did truly feel like shit. How could he not? His best friend’s girl? It was seriously the least loyal thing that he could think of, it was the first rule of bro code. Goddamn, it was a commandment.

But he loved you. His heart ached for you, every smile you directed to him, every word, every nod, every acknowledgment from you got him completely drunk.

And in these very rare lucid moments he felt ashamed, a sinner. Besides, most of the time it all felt right, it was right to be selfish, it made sense, just like it would have if he finally told you. Because there was nothing that he wanted more than to break free from the heavy chains of this secret and confess.

In those few, clear moments, he sobered up, and kept realizing that it would have been irrational and mostly vain. Because you loved Mattheo. And he couldn’t do anything to stop that.

Cause she's watching him with those eyes

And she's loving him with that body, I just know it

And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night

You know, I wish that I had

Mattheo’s girl.

The date ended, and so did Theo’s hopes on encountering someone like you. And with them died also the dreams of a reciprocation of his feelings. Just like they did every damn time he saw your shiny eyes looking at his best mate. There was no point. He could just surrender to his impossible love and move on eventually, while having to stand there and watch every kiss, every lingering touch, every form of pda the world knew.

He found peace only at night, when he dreamt of you and him together, doing all the things he had seen you do with him.

And I'm looking in the mirror all the time

Wonderin' what she don't see in me

I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines

Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?

Tell me, where can I find a woman like that?

You know, I wish that I had

Mattheo's girl

What Theo really just didn’t understand was what could he possibly have less than him, people had always told them how similar they were, did Mattheo become all of a sudden the better version? No, impossible. Theo searched for the answers in the mirror, trying to think of what he didn’t have that Matt did. Sure, he was more muscular, but that had never meant that he wasn’t just as strong.

Was his personality the problem? It couldn’t! No, because whenever you spoke to each other you seemed so at ease, you seemed like you were aware of the flick of fire that lit between the two of you.

24th of November

Theo had just come back from the library to his dorm, thinking he’d be alone, he dived on his messy unmade bed hoping to rest his poor head filled with tangled thoughts that were all screaming your name.

“Rough day?” he gasped, nearly falling out of the bed “Oh dear Merlin, you scared me” he said holding his chest with one hand, and his forehead with the other one. “Scared of a little company, aren’t you Theo?” “You don’t know just how much” he answered you completely honest, though you didn’t know he wasn’t joking.

“So w- what are you doing here? Waiting for Mattheo?” he asked, truly regretting the last part, and having to say it out loud. “Not really, but since he gave me the password to the common room, I figured why not?” “So you do spend time apart? I wasn’t aware” he faked a surprised expression and made you laugh “Well, you know sometimes it all just feels like a lot, I mean…” you tried to make sense without sounding mean “are you trying to say that he’s too much?”. “No, no please Theo, come on I didn’t mean it like that” Theo was snickering, feeling somewhat relieved that it was too much even for you. “You know what I mean, like I love him, truly” you said and Theo’s smile faltered for a beat, then came back normal as if his heart hadn’t just been wounded by what you said to him. “But we just might spend too much time together, and like I said, I love him but I love my own personal space too”. “Well i don’t blame him” he said “it’s easy to get lost in time when you’re with someone like you” he let out this risky statement testing you, trying to see your reaction. Your cheeks welcomed a burning pink tint on them, and you looked down at your feet lightly smiling “Someone like me?” you looked back up at him with a challenging glance “yeah, someone effortlessly fun” “and what else?” “I’m sorry I can’t come up with another lie” he said smirking at you. You suddenly got up to your feet, went up to him and pushed him. “Fuck off Theo” you told him laughing “Someone who can take a joke definitely” he said trying to keep his cool after feeling your touch, “Ah, ah, ah. And here I was thinking you liked me!” you feigned an insulted face “I don’t like you…” he said seriously now. You stood there still, in front of him, the heat returned to hit you in your face.

That was it. He knew and he firmly believed you knew it too. He was gonna say it, he extended his arm and gently took your hand “No, I-“ “Y/n babe are you in here?”. You took back your hand, and went to your boyfriend as fast as you could.

-Of course- Theo thought to himself, who else could interrupt his one chance to finally tell you, if not your stupid boyfriend. “Oh dude hi, kept her company I hope?” “Yeah well I was just about to leave, bye Matt” and then he looked at you, who were now in his friend’s arms, like every damn time. Your eyes met his “bye y/n”.

His cards were now on the table, and maybe for this reason or for his undeniable guilt, that was the last thing he had told you. The feelings were still there, but so were yours, even if he genuinely had believed that he saw something in your eyes in that moment.

The truth was that there was something, there were those sparkles, the same Mattheo had when watching you. You just couldn’t admit it out loud, and now Theo had started to completely ignore you, so there was no point in trying to understand what was that you felt, no because you were always Mattheo’s girl.

[coquettetoji]

{💌} ARMIN ARLERT MOODBOARD

★ general armin hcs ★

— sweetest soul who is 100% down to earth, will scold you for not recycling your fork into the correct trash can and will pick up plastic / any trash on the ground

— nerdy golden retriever boy, and is the biggest people pleaser

— played hockey growing up and in college, he’s a right winger

— reads a shit ton of books, will press pretty and colorful flowers he finds outside into the book spine to save it

— is academically and naturally smart, gpa is a strong 4.2, majors in business, economics, or biology, some smart shit like that ( will grow up to be that hot rich dad every single mom wants )

— SLEEPER BUILD 🗣️🗣️AND A V LINE🗣️🗣️

— hands are big but they’re like bony and soft, he also plays piano so he’s good with his hands *moan*

— his most used app is spotify, google classroom, and messages

— lana del rey coded. i will argue with anyone who thinks otherwise.

— listens to cigarettes after sex, clairo, and this one random 63 hour playlist called ‘band cafe soft jazz music’

— speaking of cigarettes, armin also smokes cigarettes (ik i’m sorry) but this guy is a student athlete, ofc he’s gonna have to de-stress somehow

— drives the newest model of a white range rover with beige interior

— 6’1 teddy bear with attachment issues

— speaks french fluently

— so so so soft spoken like you will never see him yelling at another person, even when he’s frustrated

— also doesn’t like cursing, will give someone a quick glance if they cuss but won’t mind it

— has a gold chain around his neck, yes the slutty kind

— came from old money 🤭🤑, he dresses like it too i’m talking quarter zips, sweaters, khakis, and neutral colors, wears his gold thin wire framed glasses occasionally

— knows all girl shit bc of his little sister (who he adores) he learned how to take care of her so he’s really reliable when it comes to treating girls right

— his phone case is the apple silicone one that’s cream color, keeps one of his credit cards in the case behind his phone

— phone screen is him and his puppy ( spot the difference game for everyone 👍 )

— every woman he knows or did a favor for all say “his mother raised him right”

— the most organized person ever, his whole pantry would labeled and organized like khloe kardashian’s

— eren and armin are 100% that black cat golden retriever duo, take a wild guess on who is which lol

— 2 deep dimples on his cheeks that pop out when he smiles, also has light freckles dusted on his nose n around it, has the straightest whitest teeth + an adorable smile **he’s so grateful for braces existing

— overall the most genuine human out there, no detection of fuck boy here 😁😁😁

{💌} new message from mica

armin is actually my baby i love him so much i need me a soft spoken tall nerdy blonde white boy in my life now

[lialacleaf]

Simon Riley X Reader: Domestic Headcanons: Baking

Warnings: Simon misses his Mum :c, fluffy

Pt.2

Simon has very few fond memories of his family but he remembers how his Mum used to cook during the holidays, and would always involve him in the food prep to distract him from his Dad's foul mood.

After losing his family, cooking just isn't the same without his Mum, and even if he isn't on a mission he tries to avoid being in the kitchen because it just aches for him.

But then you come along, working on base under Laswell and Simon constantly hears you fiddling around in the kitchen. He avoids investigating like the plague for the first few weeks but eventually, his curiosity gets the better of him.

He finds you covered in flour in mid-October, making a pumpkin pie crust from scratch, and has to just stand there for a moment and watch in befuddlement as you swear at the bowl you just tipped over.

There's something bubbling on the stove, and you're too distracted to notice that your simmer pot is going to boil over. You've got a mix of orange and lemon slices with diced apple and cinnamon sticks. It's just like how his Mum used to make them.

The click of the stove dial has you jumping, having not noticed the shadowy figure of Ghost slipping into the kitchen.

"Heat's too high," he says, and you blink at him in confusion before understanding settles on your pretty face.

"Shoot! I...forgot to turn that down when I..." you gestured awkwardly to the bowl of flour and he tilts his masked chin downwards at you.

You give him an awkward smile before returning to the task of making your dough.

He doesn't leave immediately, just watches you struggle a bit with kneading the dough before he huffs and yanks his gloves off, pushing you to the side as he surprises you by properly kneading the dough, and laying it in the pie pan perfectly.

You watch him from the corner of your eye as you finish making the filling, and add it to the pie crust.

You can hardly believe that you're baking a pie with Lieutenant Ghost. You shrug it off however and pull two mugs from the cupboard, filling them both with the contents of your pot, however, when you turn around to offer him one, he's already gone.

The second time you're in the kitchen making apple turnovers for your co-worker's birthday, the window is open for you to enjoy an early November rainy day, and you're in your coziest pair of socks.

You almost don't recognize him, jumping at the sight of the tall blonde man who has materialized out of thin air to peel your apples. His eyes peek at you over the top of a black surgical mask, and you feel your heart stop, then start up again with a disjointed stutter as you take in the familiar chocolatey color.

He doesn't say anything, just peels the apples until the bag is empty. You reach for the last one and realize there's no Leuitenant to be seen.

The third time he joins you you're trying to perfect your gravy recipe. Most of the base's inhabitants have gone home for the holidays, but the few that have remained are planning a Thanksgiving potluck.

"You're still here." He actually makes you jump.

"Couldn't afford plane tickets for Christmas and Thanksgiving, and I'm not missing my Dad's pumpkin log and hot cocoa," you explain

He hums softly, leaning against the counter as he examines your cheese biscuits.

Your eyes widen slightly when you see him pull the surgical mask down just enough to take a large bite of the biscuit he nabbed off the tray.

You're greeted with the sight of a sharp jaw and full lips, and you quickly pull your eyes away, focusing on the gravy in your pot.

Something doesn't taste quite right, and you frown softly. Ghost leans over to take a deep whiff, bumping your shoulder in the process.

"You added salt?"

You offer him a deadpan expression.

"Scoot," he orders, pushing you aside and fishing a spoon out of the drawer. He nods to himself after a taste and proceeds to add a hefty helping of rosemary.

You try not to think about the fact that you've never seen his face before now as you try his concoction. It's not bad. "Where'd you learn how to cook, Ghost?"

He stares deeply at you for a few seconds, before he sets the spoon in the sink. "My Mum."

He leaves you after that, and you doubt you're going to see him at the potluck.

You don't see him in the kitchen again until December, and you're baking snickerdoodles to leave the boys with when you return to your family.

He's avoided the kitchen for a few weeks, and you're strangely relieved to see him lurking there.

"Wanted to give you this before you left."

He holds out a carefully wrapped package, and you accept it with a dumbfounded expression. He's out the door again before you've even thanked him.

A few days later you're sitting in the armchair of your parents' house, a pile of unwrapped presents at your feet as you carefully tear away the paper concealing the Leuitenant's gift. You're greeted with the sight of an old leather-bound book, one filled with handwritten recipes you realize upon closer inspection and an elegant Mrs. Riley engraved on the front page.

You have a feeling Ghost will be joining you in the kitchen more often. Maybe even Simon.

AN: Requests are always open!

[jelloteeeth]

I have three questions about your AU.

1) Can the twins float/fly like Bill can because it would be hilarious if they can't, and you just have these two tiny 2d shapes wandering around this huge forest. (They are 2 apples tall, your honour)

2) How does Ford find out about the twins? Does he just run into them one day? Does Bill show up and go: "Suprise! It's twins!! Now, let's talk about that child support? "

3) How's the relationship between the Twins and their fathers? And how do they impact Fords and Bills' relationship?

1) They can float like Bill but they aren't that good at it yet. They don't develop the ability to float until they're '12'. Mabel figures it out first. They have some of Bills other powers, but they are extremely weak in comparison.

2) So I don't want to spoil what happens, but he doesn't find out until later on. The immediate aftermath is a pretty big spoiler.

3) The twins love their dad, and he loves them. Bill doesn't play favorites with the twins, but he has an easier time bonding with Mabel than with Dipper since they're so similar. Dipper is a lot more like Ford, so sometimes they clash in how they view things. The twins also don't know how messed up Bill actually is, cause he's pretty chill around them (well chill in a Bill sorta way). I feel like he would keep the murders and violence to a minimum around them, or play it off when they were younger. To them he's just they're overprotective weird dad.

Again, I cannot speak for their relationship with Ford yet. Bill is also just as obsessed with Ford as before lol.

[badasmuse]

“Homewrecker”

Bada Lee x Reader

Warnings: 18+ (MDNI), lowercase intended, language, cheater!bada, bottom!bada, bada is married to h*wl, bada has a daughter, top!reader, lonely bada, she also cries, appearance from itzy’s yuna

Summary: bada is lonely, you fix that.

Part 2 Here

you absolutely loved children. ever since you were fifteen when you started babysitting for your neighbor that’s when you knew. you actually wanted to start your own daycare but you wanted a degree so you decided to take a few online classes in early childhood education. but, going to college meant you need money for books and such so you never stopped babysitting. but your usual child’s father came back into her life making you jobless once again, so when you received a text from an unknown number stating she got your number from her friend you jumped with joy. and that’s how you started working for bada lee and her husband.

on your first day, you pull up to the extremely big house, you’re nervous. you keep thinking, what if i lose this kid in this big ass house.

there’s a tall woman and a slightly shorter male standing in the doorway holding a little girl. she looks about seven. you step out of the uber and approach the little family. “hi i’m y/n. i’m looking for ms. lee?”

“that’s me.” she steps out shaking your hand. “you can call me bada. this is my husband howl, not his real name but as a dancer it’s just what he goes by, and our daughter chaeyoung. come in.”

you follow the woman in and dude when i tell you this house is huge. you could probably fit three semi trailers stacked on top of each other in here. with the wheels still on and everything. you’re too busy admiring the house to hear what bada is saying.

“got that y/n?” is all you hear.

“huh? oh i’m… im sorry i was admiring your house i didn’t hear a thing. could you… repeat that?” you say shyly.

“oh no problem. this is a list of people you can call if you can’t get in touch with either of us. always try lusher first she’s my best friend she’ll always be able to get ahold of me. i’ll be out at the studio a lot this month because i’m choreographing a few comebacks and howl is getting ready to go to japan to teach some classes. i will be back around nine tonight. here’s chae’s bedtime routine. she’ll try to stay up past eight thirty, if she fights let her because she’ll fall asleep in the next five minutes. you can just lay a blanket over her on the couch and i’ll carry her to the room when i come back. is that too much at one time?” bada asks after literally vomiting a shit ton of information.

“no no i think i got it all. also, if you’re gonna be dancing, i don’t mind carrying her to her room. you’ll be tired and probably want to shower, i can handle it.” you say smiling.

“if you can i’d appreciate it. oh we have to go. chae you be good for y/n okay? i mean it.” bada says crouching in front of the girl who just nods in response before hugging her mother tight and hugging her father’s leg.

soon, it’s just you and her. boy did she give you a run for your money. you did lose her in the house while playing hide n seek. she made you play dress up with her. she took your phone and hid it, spilled apple juice everywhere, and even went into her parent’s room and took one of her mom’s lipsticks.

by now it’s eight thirty and she surprisingly went to bed without an issue, which you were grateful for because now you have to clean the mess in the kitchen and living room.

“hi i’m home.. y/n?” you hear bada say.

“kitchen!” you respond.

“what.. happened?”

“oh she spilled apple juice. this- here. she took this from your room. um, do you mind calling my phone?” you mumble.

bada sighs and goes into a room before coming out with your phone in hand. “i’m sorry she did this to the last babysitter, and the one before. if you don’t want to continue just let me know okay?” she says helping you clean the apple juice.

you look up at her and see the sweat dripping down her face, the tired look in her eyes. she’s obviously struggling. “what time should i be here tomorrow?”

her eyes light up and she smiles brightly. “um, same time okay? it’ll just be me and her, my husband will be gone early.”

“i’ll be here. go shower. i’ll finish up and make my way out of here.” you pick up the used paper towel, throwing it in the garbage.

thirty minutes later she emerges from the bathroom dressed in a new pair of sweats and a tank with her wet hair flowing down her back.

“i’ll get your uber home. can you put your address in here?”

*

now it’s been four months and man, the feelings you feel towards this woman are crazy.

“she’s just so.. fine, yuna.” you say to your best friend. “when she comes home from the studio and she’s dripping with sweat. you know how hard it is to not jump on her?”

yuna laughs, “isn’t she married?”

“yes but… come on. her husband is never really there. she’s always tired and probably sexually frustrated. i could fix that for her for real.” you say taking the drink from her.

“that’s mine.” she sighs, “well are you gonna go for it?”

“i don’t know, should i? what if i get fired?” you say.

“then you get fired. come on i’ll drop you off. it’s almost time.”

once you arrive at the house, you knock and wait, watching yuna pull off. bada opens the door and looks at you surprised. “y/n? what are you doing here?”

you blink, “it’s.. saturday?”

“oh! oh i’m so sorry. first come in.” she steps to the side, “i’m sorry, chaeyoung is with her grandmother for today. i thought i told you. probably forgot i was doing so much this morning. i feel so bad you probably ubered here, let me pay you for that and i’ll get you one back.”

“my friend dropped me off. i can ask her to come get me.” you say sending a quick text to yuna.

“well have you eaten? let me get you something.” she says.

“i’m okay i’m not hungry.” at least, not for food.

“well.. here’s a water bottle. i’m so sorry.”

“it’s okay bada. my schedule is open.” you look at the reply from yuna and sigh. “actually could you get the uber? my friend is busy, she won’t be able to come get me for at least an hour or so.. unless you don’t mind me waiting?”

“i don’t mind. i actually wanted to talk to you about chaeyoung.” she says sitting next to you.

“what is it?”

“i’m not too sure what you’re doing but.. she used to be terrible in school, behavior wise, and ever since you came along it’s changed. what are you doing with her? what can i do to make sure she doesn’t act that way once you get your degree and stop working for me?” bada sighs, leaning back on the couch.

“bada,” you turn your body to face her, “the issue with chae is you don’t give her enough attention. i know both you and howl work a lot. it happens. but she tells me all the time how she wishes at least you were here more often. she’s lonely. it’s only her and you stick her with a bunch of strangers. she told me she feels happy when i’m here because even tho i’m leaving, i still make her happy because i’m giving her the attention she craves.”

bada wipes a tear from her cheek, “i try. it’s just hard. i want to be here. then howl took that stupid job traveling to different countries like he doesn’t have a wife and child at home. i feel like i’ve been snapping at her which is why i sent her with her grandmother. i wanted to.. be with my husband and he’s not even here he went to america. i wanted to talk to him about this.”

you pull bada in for a hug and rub her back as she cries into your shoulder. “you’re doing the best you can, bada. you can’t be too hard on yourself. howl should’ve thought about that before he left. he needs to understand you need help.” you say softly.

bada pulls back and looks at you, “you really think i’m doing my best?”

“i do.”

there’s a tension filled silence as you look at each other. you don’t know what fueled you but you lean in and kiss her on her lips before pulling back quickly. “oh shit i’m sorry you’re married-“

she cuts you off with another kiss gripping your shirt. this one is a lot more desperate. “please…” she mumbles against your lips. “i need this please.. please don’t go.” she whines.

“your room.” you say and she stands up pulling you into the bedroom she shared with howl.

she pushes you on the bed and climbs on top of you finding your lips again as your hands trail under her shirt. you pull it off her and she whines.

“relax baby, i’ll make you feel good, just be patient.” you turn her on her back kissing her neck and down to her chest. lifting up her bra you attach to her nipple, sucking gently and she moans. you pinch the other one with your fingers and her hips buck up against you, looking for friction.

“keep your hips down.” you whisper, kissing down her stomach. you leave marks on her hip bones and she moans your name.

“y/n please… please i want you so bad!” she writhes on the bed.

you pull her shorts off and she’s not wearing anything under them. “made this easy for me huh? oh you’re so wet for me bada.” you run a finger over her clit and her leg jerks. you put her leg on your shoulder and make eye contact with her. “can i?”

“please y/n please do- OH!” she moans out when your tongue makes contact with her clit. her hands clutch the sheets as you suck on her clit, sticking two fingers in her.

her breath hitches and she lets out loud moans, “oh my god s-so good! please more!”

you insert another finger curling them up into her spot. she lets out a squeal. “why are you so good at this?” she moans, hands going to your hair as she fucks herself onto your fingers. “i’m cumming!”

you speed up your fingers, flicking your tongue skillfully and she cums with a scream, your name falling off her lips.

you pull your hand out giving her a minute to breathe. “you okay?” you run her lower stomach gently.

“i need… more. please? i have.. have toys in my sock drawer.” she pants.

you walk over to where she points and find a different array of toys. “oh you’re kinky.”

“please use whatever you want. make me your slut. please.” she whines.

you bite your lip, grabbing the dildo, a vibrator, and some handcuffs. “you mind?”

“oh please!” she moves her hands to the headboard, letting you cuff her to it. “i-i can eat you out while you fuck me. you can sit on my face.”

you shiver at the thought before stripping and doing what she wants. her tongue skillfully explores you and you question how she let a man trap her with a tongue like that? you lean forward and put the dildo in her, immediately thrusting it in and out of her while putting the vibrator on her swollen clit. she moans into you and pulls at the cuffs. you’re worried she might be uncomfortable so you lift up but she whines loudly. “i’m not finished!”

you sit back down, thrusting the toy faster and turning up the speed on the vibrator. you let out a moan trying not to grind on her face. you move when she starts to mumble something.

“what did you say baby?”

“use me. use me to get yourself off. make me your personal tuck toy.” she moans out.

you moan as you move back onto her face doing as she asks all while you fuck into her tight count with the dildo. you’re close and you know she’s close from the way her moans get higher. she latches onto your clit sucking roughly as you pound the dildo into her gspot and you’re both cumming with loud moans. you remove the toys and she squirts all over her bed. you get off her and rub her clit, helping her ride out her high.

“okay! okay i’m done i can't…i’m done please!” she moans pulling the cuffs.

“give me one more. let me make sure you’re 100% satisfied. you might not get it this good for a while.” you whisper.

she whimpers and cums one last time, her juices flow out of her and you caress her thigh gently.

“so good for me bada. did such a good job.” you uncuff her and she pulls you in for a kiss. you can taste yourself on her tongue.

“thank you.” she whispers. “i needed that. god i needed that.. tell your friend nevermind. stay with me.”

“what about your husband? and chae?” you ask.

“he’s gone for a week, chae will be back tomorrow night. after i take a nap i want to go again.” she groans, turning on her side.

grabbing your phone, you tell yuna to just bring your backpack that has your strap instead and you lay down next to bada. she immediately moves her head onto your chest and sighs, falling asleep.

that was a lot easier than you thought it would be.

[hotvintagepoll]

Don Knotts (The Incredible Mr. Limpet, The Ghost and Mr Chicken, The Reluctant Astronaut)—Just look at him. He’s just a lil scrungly guy. Also he started entertaining as a ventriloquist, and there’s nothing scrunglier than a ventriloquist. In all seriousness, Don Knotts’ career is singularly unique. His speaking voice was iconic, and he used it to his advantage and played it up – see also the included YouTube link to his small role in No Time for Sergeants [link]. He not only played second fiddle comedic character roles, but also played leading comedic character roles. He didn’t need a sidekick for his movies but he could *be* the sidekick if needed. That’s key to Scrungly Little Guy™ behavior, in my opinion. Knotts undoubtedly influenced many comedians and sitcom characters in both his lifelong film and TV career – and I do mean lifelong, as his final role was in 2006, the year he passed away! In the 70s, he became a frequently used actor in live action Disney comedy films for kids like The Apple Dumpling Gang and appeared in many children’s programs. Knotts was said to be one of the nicest guys in Hollywood, which is important for Scrungly Little Guy™ lore.

Josephine Hull (Arsenic and Old Lace, Harvey)—Josephine Hull was only in two major movies - “Harvey” and “Arsenic and Old Lace” - but those two roles made her an icon. Her mobile, expressive face is unforgettable. She was expert at playing these women who seem to be very conventional, until you scratch the surface and realize they’re scrungly to the core. The scene in Harvey where she is watching a bad performance at her soiree, and trying to look pleased while actually being appalled, is priceless [link]. In that same movie, she has wonderful scenes where she is trying awfully hard to disbelieve in Harvey (her brother’s invisible friend who is a 6-foot-tall white rabbit) but finds herself, to her horror, believing in him. (This one is a highlight - she comes in around 2:50 [link] Her other role, in Arsenic and Old Lace, is a sweet little old lady who the hero (Cary Grant) discovers to his horror has been murdering people. And again she sells her total conviction that she is normal, while being decidedly NOT. Another great example of her wonderful talent at scrungly facial expressions is in this scene, where she is waiting for an old man to drink poisoned wine [link]

This is round 4 of the contest. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. If you’re confused on what a scrungle is, or any of the rules of the contest, click here.

[additional submitted propaganda + scrungly videos under the cut]

Don Knotts:

TBH, I was first introduced to Don knotts in things like three's company, the og Scooby-Doo cartoons, and later on that Disney chicken little movie. He's probably most remembered from his time on the Andy griffith show. But just look at him! Don't you just wanna put him situations?

When you say scrungly his face is just what immediately pops into my head

Don Knotts plays in most if not all of his filmography someone who is kinda dull-witted, afraid of his own shadow, or kind of cowardly. He is the scrungliest of scrungly people!  

Josephine Hull:

Batty little old ladies who are definitely less than sane [see video below]

[cheesycatz]

The Worm's Apple

(Spamton AU reference sheet) 1 2

Text ver and close ups below

This version of Spamton claims to be a spam program, but his credibility appears to be dubious. Covered from neck to toe and wearing a strange mask, the little of him that is visible doesn't quite match. But, the only thing more hated than spam is malware, so what reason would he have to lie?

- He walks stiffly. His torso barely moves, his legs don't bend, and his arms hang limply when he attempts to look normal.

- He purposefully wears baggy clothes to hide the abnormal shape of his body and limbs.

- While he attempts to make his legs look plantigrade, the actual digitigrade shape of his legs often shows through his pants.

- He keeps his long tail curled tightly behind him. However, it often unfurls when he experiences strong emotions or feels comfortable.

- His neck is unnaturally long and flexible, as though it lacks vertebrae.

- Not beating the cat allegations

- Spamton often hisses and spikes up his fur when angry or threatened. His suit limits his senses, physical defenses, and mobility, so he resorts to many threats.

- Even when alone in the city, Spamton usually leaves his suit on until he can bring it home. However, he won't pass up the opportunity for a meal along the way.

- (Tiny comparison of a real spam program, an addison, and Spamton in the bottom right corner)

- Spamton actually keeps himself as clean as possible, even if he can't clean his clothes. Regardless, he likes performing his self cleaning mechanisms as a stim, even while wearing his suit. He rubs his nose and rubs his arms together in the same way that insects clean dust off their antennae and legs.

- Spamton's hands are quite small, and his relatively long fingers often show up through his mittens. The fabric is damaged from the numerous holes that his claws have poked through them.

- He's around 5 ft (~150 cm) tall, with a 7ft (~215 cm) long tail

-----

I'm no character designer (Spamton's suit here is literally just the miniature outfit I made for my spam plush), but I like what Disguised Wormton has become over the past two years. While completely accidental, the five-petal shape and yellow thread of his button/pin perfectly represents an apple tree blossom, a nod to his symbolism. The rest of his attempt at an outfit is "hide as much as possible, but still look good doing it." ...as good as he thinks an untucked shirt and clothes ten sizes too big look. He's meant to appear incredibly uncanny when he puts effort into "being normal," looking more like a shuffling zombie than anything natural. I think the round and wide shapes of his suit contrasted with the long, thin, and sharp points of his only visible features adds to the untrustworthness he radiates. His animalistic tendencies look worse when performed by something trying to look humanoid. Even if it's more comfortable for him, the incorrect bend of his legs, the perpetual raptor arms, the absurdly long tail, and his awkwardly long neck highlight the concept of something trying so hard to look human (or humanoid in the case of Deltarune) yet always failing. That's what I was going for when designing him, at least. After writing like 50k words about disguised Wormton, he honestly might be creepier than normal Wormton. I'd rather deal with the obscure cryptid that hisses and runs away than be approached by this kidney stealer lookin mf trying to sell used cigarettes or something. He's definitely grown on me, though. In a "I would never want to be locked in a room with any of the characters I like" kind of way.

[brownsugarwrites]

☀︎ chicken salad sandwiches ☀︎

pairings: dad!leon x mom!reader x dad!carlos

warnings/content: smut. porn with minimal plot , threesome (mmf) , milf chasin, dilf chasin, creampie, oral (both m & f receiving) , mentions of masturbation, cumplay (??) , carlos is a MUNCH , reader is kinda a shy slut (you'll see) , p in v (x2 hehhehe) , abundance of pet names. carlos is a goofball. both very sweet and kind lovers . slight pinning, squriting

word count: 2.9k (my word help me)

also the name will make sense just read!!! I am actually so nervous about this lol!!! I hope you all love it as much as I do

Sighing you finished making the fruit salad before adding mint leaves to them. You were making snacks for your two hot neighbors working on a car.

You moved into the neighborhood recently and your neighbors across the way were nice to look at. You had a perfect view of their houses from yours where you could see them mowing the lawn early in the morning or leaving their house to get their kiddos to school

One of the neighbors, Carlos, actually came to introduce himself first to you. About a day after you moved in he came knocking. Opening up the door you smiled trying not to gawk at the man in front of the door

Introducing himself he shook your hand and held a slight conversation with you. Honestly, you weren't listening to shit he was saying. You were more focused on his big arms and chest and how he towered over you from being tall

“Well I hope to see you around neighbor,” he said winking at you before leaving your porch 

As for your neighbor Leon, you met him through Carlos. You stopped by his [carlos] house to bring him a slice of pound cake 

“Thanks, sunshine! oh and this is Leon he lives about 2 houses down from me with his boys” he said introducing you and wrapping an arm around you 

“It's nice to meet you, I would've brought another slice if I knew you were going to be here as well,” you said nervously 

“Oh, it's fine darling no need to worry. It's nice meeting you ” he says smiling down at you 

Quite frankly you wanted both of them but was that even possible? You could only imagine.

Your daughter was gone with your mom for the weekend so you didn't have anything to do but when you saw the two men working on one of Carlos's cars. It was a sight to look at, the two well-trained men with the compression shirts on highlighting their muscles with the sweat rolling down their faces 

You swear you felt a heartbeat in between your legs 

Being the good neighbor you were, you decided to make sandwiches and snacks to help cool them off. 

Grabbing your sun hat you pulled it over your braids before grabbing the two bottles of water and making your way across the street 

You began to grow slightly nervous. Were you seducing them with food right now? Shaking your head you made your way onto the driveway 

“Hi, boys! I saw you working and decided to bring some water to cool you two down” you said arms extending out 

“Ah thanks, sweetheart,” Carlos said taking the bottle away from you

As Leon gave you a simple nod he took his and began to drink the crisp water

You were stuck with the way they drank the water like it was their last day. The way their Adam’s apple bobbed with each sip they took had you going blank. Forgetting that you made food for them

“I also made some snacks!!!!” you said rather quickly

“Wait, slow down angel, and say it again,” Leon said wiping the sweat off his forehead

What was wrong with you? Why were all of a sudden going dumb from this? 

“I made sandwiches and a fruit salad. I left it in my house I didn't want it to get warm” you said before looking away “You can just come to my house when you’re hungry” 

Turning on your heels you walked away quickly 

“Dude she was checking me out just now,” Carlos said excitedly 

Leon just stared at his friend rolling his eyes 

“shes have been staring at you like that for months now idiot”

“I thought she was more interested in you” Carlos responded putting his hands up

they both had a teensey (huge) crush on you. You were so sweet and pliant towards them they couldnt help but yo fall for you

“let's just go get the food she made,” Leon said making his way to your house 

Hearing a knock on your door your feet scooted on the floor as you gave a soft “coming!”

“hi,” you said timidly before inviting the two men into your home and shuffling back into the kitchen

they both watched you as your sundress clung to your body as you moved through the house 

“yall could take a seat at the table” you offered as you went to the fridge to pull out the food

bending over to get the sandwiches from the fridge the two of them held back a grunt after looking at your ass

you had to be teasing them at this point. all Carlos could think about was the backshots he would give you while Leon on the other hand dreamed about how soft you were 

they were both knocked out of their thoughts by you placing the sandwich platter and fruit bowl down 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Leon said with a smile 

smiling back you went to go grab sodas and water for the two 

“so how is it? I tried something new with the chicken salad” you said nervously teetering on your feet 

“It's delicious sunshine thanks,” Carlos said with a mouthful of food 

your heart began to flutter. The pet names always made you giddy inside especially coming from them. You didn't miss the way they tend to flirt with you and the lingering stares. you were glad to know they found you attractive 

“wheres your little angel at?” Carlos asks

“oh she’s with her grandmother for the weekend,” you said grabbing a bag of chips to eat from. 

you scrolled through your phone mindlessly as the two finished their food until you felt a presence beside you “shit you scared me” you said giving a breathy nervous giggle. Feeling his warm hand on your chin your eyes widen slightly 

what the actual hell was he doing right now??!?! 

you were freaking out and you tried not to show it. meeting the pair of blue eyes the two of you smiled at each other 

“Let us thank you for the food sweetheart,” Leon said lowly in your ear 

Feeling your arousal pool in between your legs you sighed before opening your mouth 

“No need to thank me, guys…” you said before feeling someone behind you pressing kisses into your neck 

“Just relax love. Let us thank you for our meal by tasting our dessert”

“Carlos seriously?” Leon said while you giggled

It was corny but cute. All you could think about was being pressed between their two bodies both of their scent taking over all the judgment you had left. Going back to attack your neck you whimpered as you felt Leon kiss you gently 

His hand came to your cheek you felt his thumb smooth over it as he pulled you off of his lips. Your lips were slightly swollen and in a slight pout as a little bit of saliva dribbled down your chin 

“So fucking pretty” was all you heard as you felt him caress your face and Carlos clutching your waist continuing to kiss your neck 

Oh, shit was this really happening right now??? Did your plan to seduce them with the chicken salad sandwiches work?

“Tell us you want this sweetheart. We want you to be comfortable” Carlos whispered 

Oh fuck here it was shivers went down your spine in nervousness. Of course, you wanted this but they were making it hard for you to answer 

“Need to hear your answer, pretty girl,” Leon said along the shell of your ear

Your mind went hazy with lust. You were done for truly all you needed to do was for them to take the reigns. The ache in between the legs was growing stronger you needed them both now 

“Yeah, just need the two of you” you would whisper meekly before whimpering at the sensation of Carlos's fingers reaching under your dress to rub his finger over your wet pussy. 

Oh, this was nice feeling the teasing kisses and the toying of your clothed pussy. 

“L-lets go upstairs” you moaned out 

Feeling yourself getting scooped up you guided the men to the room

placing you on the bed gently you quickly moved onto your knees with your hands in your lap. you looked up at the two men standing in front of you. you felt yourself dripping even more at just the mere sight of them. 

it was Carlos’s turn to kiss you deeply as he teasingly played with your nipples through your dress. you reached over to play with Leon's boner through his pants before unbuckling and pulling them down with his assistance  

Leon was absolutely struck by the one-handed movement you pulled on him while you were still kissing Carlos. Leon quickly pulled down his underwear as his hardening cock popped out of his pants. you gave it a few squeezes before you started to stroke his dick.

you felt like you were in a cheap porno scene starring you as the milf next door fucking her two neighbors 

finally pulling you away from his lips you continued to stroke Leon's dick as began to palm Carlos through his pants. 

Leon's precum dripped down your hand as you started to stroke him faster hearing his moans and groans. you scooched over to take his length into your mouth your hand still never left Carlos’s dick and you tugged on the pants to signal him to take them off

the view of you lightly gagging on Leon’s dick and still being able to manage to jerk Carlos off had them both ready to cum 

who knew you were this much of a slut under that innocent persona 

“shit sweetheart keep doing that” Leon moaned as you looked up at him through your eyelashes. He wanted to cum in your mouth so bad just by the way you looked at him 

“I'm gonna cum if you keep looking at me like that” he groaned 

you moved a hand down to his balls and started to fondle them gently as you felt him buck into your mouth. quickly pulling out of your hot mouth he released his seed onto your chest 

you sat there with a small smile on your face pulling Carlos in front of you to do the same. he didn't last very long though. One look into your pretty eyes had him accidentally cumming into your mouth. you let your spit mixed with his cum dribble down your chin. both of their eyes went wide at the action.

you had no idea what you were doing to them 

“What a messy girl you are let's see what's under this dress” was all Leon could say before slipping your dress over your head 

the air from your cool room hit your hard nipples causing you to shiver as your legs squeezed together 

“no bra or panties angel? if I known better I would've thought you planned for us to fuck you” Carlos said caressing your face

well…he wasn't lying

Leon moved so that his back was flat against the headboard.  you crawled towards him to seat yourself in between his legs and Carlos quickly hooked his arms over your plush thighs 

Carlos was in heaven between your legs giving you quick kitten licks. He dreamed about this moment. Whenever he saw your thighs trying to peek out your outfits his mind would go blank wondering how good you tasted down there 

Flattening his tongue on your sweet pussy your back arched feeling the sensation on your body it didn't help that Leon was playing with your nipples as well. Leon attacked your neck as he played with them and listened to the whimpers that were escaping you. 

Carlos placed sweet kisses on your thighs before coming back up to suck on your clit. Your pretty moans could be heard throughout the room and your hand went into his hair. Feeling yourself clench you told them that you were close to cumming. Releasing a loud shriek you came all over Carlos’s face legs shaking from the shock. Coming to your face he gave you another kiss as you felt some of your wetness on his beard. 

“You ready sunshine?” he asked replacing Leon’s spot on the bed and bringing you onto his lap him lining himself up at your entrance 

You couldn't lie to yourself. He was thick and kinda long. You hope he didn't break you before Leon could have his way with you.

You quickly got a hold of his dick and sat on it. Hissing as he stretched your poor pussy out 

“Shit- oh my word” you moaned out 

“You can take it all cant you sunshine? I know you can do it” he praised you feeling you clench down on him from his words 

Releasing a sigh when you felt yourself reach the base of his dick you pressed your manicured hands on his chest before bouncing up and down on him as your face twisted in pleasure as Carlos took one of your breasts in his mouth sucking and teasing your nipple with his teeth

Releasing it with a pop he moved your braid out the way before saying “Come on, let me see that pretty face while you ride me” He groaned before grabbing a chunk of your ass teasingly 

Hearing another set of moans out of your peripheral you could hear Leon stroking himself to Carlos fucking you almost stupid. Your whines became louder as you continued to bounce on Carlos. He soon took over by wrapping his big arms around you and started to bounce you himself.

Strings of curse words fell out of both of your mouths at the pleasure. You didn't even give Carlos a warning you were about to cum until you felt the pleasure rush through you rather quickly as you felt him shoot thick ropes inside of you 

Leaning on his chest you took the moment to catch your breath. 

“That was so hot,” he said before kissing your forehead. Taking you off his lap he watched as the cum mixture spilled out of you and groaned at the sight

Sitting up you saw Leon bringing a bottle of water close to your lips.

“How sweet,” you thought allowing yourself to drink the cold water

“Can't have you passing out on me” he joked 

Asking if you were ready to begin you gave him the green light. Laying you back on the bed he moved a stray braid before kissing you gently and pushing into you.

While Carlos was mostly thick Leon was longer than him and he had a little curve to him. 

Your nails pressed into his back as he bottomed out into you 

“Need you to move baby please” you whined

Obeying your wishes he started to move in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace. Becoming frustrated at his action (well lack thereof) you told him to go faster. He didn't but he pulled out of you and slammed back into you feeling your nails dig into his back. Repeating the same action your mind went completely blank from the stimulation. 

“Open those eyes pretty girl let me see them,” he said in your ear sweetly as he kept fucking you into the mattress. 

In a feeble attempt of opening your eyes, he smiled sweetly 

“There she is, there's my pretty angel” 

If you weren't gonna die by them fucking you you were definitely dead from the praise. 

Rubbing your puffy clit you made the cutest little squeak from the stimulation.

Laughing lowly he thought the noises you made were cute. Feeling you clamp down on him he knew you were close 

“Babe- feels like I gotta pee slow down” you would beg 

He smirked to himself knowing what was coming next.

“S-slow down leon- oh shit!” you moaned out spraying your juices all over his abs 

Did you just fucking squirt??? you were seeing stars at this point. These men were doing things to your body you didn't even know you could do. 

Fucking you faster your eyes teared up from the overstimulation

“I know baby dont cry I'm almost there,” he said kissing the tears on your water line. 

Nearly cumming again for the fourth time that afternoon you moaned feeling Leon’s cum spill inside of you. Closing your eyes you caught your breath again. Your throat was raw, pussy was swollen, and plenty of hickies decorated your skin as you laid like a doll 

“Hey, sweetheart. Let me clean you up come on” you heard one of their voices 

Feeling the warm rag clean between your legs you hummed in approval 

“Feels good?” Carlos asked laughing a little 

Weakly nodding your head you managed to sit up asking him to take you to the bathroom. Coming over with another warm towel you felt him cleaning your face so gently making sure to follow with kisses 

“Thanks love,” you said smiling 

His heart fluttered at your sleepy state. You were really cute like this. Hearing footsteps come closer to you Leon pulled a shirt over your head. Giving him a thank you as well you managed to get off the toilet to wash your hands and get back to the bed 

The two men looked at each other. They both wanted to stay here with you but still wanted to respect your boundaries 

“Need anything else sunshine?” Carlos asked putting his shirt back on 

“Come lay with me for a little while” you offered 

The two got on each side of you and you sighed in bliss. This was your idea heaven 

“I dont think its fair you squirted for Leon and not me sunshine” Carlos joked

“Dont be jealous Oliveria,” Leon said smirking 

“Hey dont start bickering I’m trying to sleep,” you said meekly 

Glaring at each other you gave them a kiss before drifting off to sleep

This was all thanks to those chicken salad sandwiches

--------------------------------------------------------

tags!: @makeacryfoundation @kxlnow @theirkenfiles @pvpsi @tosuckmyweenis @s0nia246 @fatalenvoy @thesilverbeats @geekgirlofarchangels @rubygade @mantiddysimp007 @mothcelestial @cosmcqt @d4rlingang3l @m-rayne @billysfavoriteboy @ashwasherelol @gremlingottoosilly @gavinshorns @jond63 @bloosinthere @sukunasgff @deepestballoonllama-fandoms @haitanislilangel @its-too-cold-in-maine @hongsxn @47kay1 @bl00dr3gin @ayaseelidesu-blog @bbunnygirl @furiousloverlight @bloodycorpseboy @ytp0 @suchaslutforjack @ballorawan740 @itty-bitty-baby-face @refiwrites @mingitrash @a-mouldy-sock @pey-hey555 @-darlinglover- @phantomly27 @twilg

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 7 part 4

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] ep9 [1][2][3][4][5][6])

I woke up to the news of Ms. Patti LuPone getting a Critics’ Choice nomination, so, you know. VINDICATION!!!!

lilia is back in the tunnel with jen, looking like the definition of a sad wet cat

it's actually cute that she can be so gullible at times. incredible seer powers, but not so good with irony

hadn't noticed jen tearing off half her dress and creating a perfect miniskirt

Because I wanted it to. I ignored it. I put it away. Lilia admits that losing her powers wasn't something that happened to her, but an active choice she made.

I always appreciate the visual gag of a tall actor and a short actor behind a wall

my new favorite disaster duo!

following the actual timeline, this is the first time they see the trial, but lilia has been here already, in the future.

billy's so happy he hasn't killed them lmaooo

the SWAG this woman has

WHO MASSACRED THIS SPREAD i can't

LITERAL CHILDREN. mom's back home and wants to know who started the fight

gay jokes. gay jokes as far as the eye can see. and billy going me me me let's make this about me

oh this is such nice framing

she's so commanding. i love it when lilia is in control

everyone's comedic timing is on point in this scene. and jen holding an apple!

when I say billy is making it all about himself, I mean that he - intentionally or not - created the Road as a way to understand his own identity, to figure out how his human life with the kaplans and his witchy heritage can fit together. and he's making it everybody else's problem.

yesss supportive jen

I'm gonna write down this whole speech because I want to learn it, and I also want to listen to patti deliver it again and again.

"The first card is you, the Traveler. next comes What's Missing, the reason for your quest. here is the Path Behind, wounds suffered, lessons learned. here is the Path Ahead, a place for growth and discovery. of course you will face Obstacles, preceding a potential Windfall. you must overcome all to reach you Destination."

so 1) the subject, 2) their goal, 3) the past, 4) the future, 5) shit they're gonna go through, 6) shit that's gonna help, 7) destination.

Gotcha.

clowns

you are the Magician. you have enormous potential and the ability to turn all your goals into reality. very fitting. I love that billy's card is not about danger, but about potential.

detective agnes still trying to figure out billy. you know her mind is doing the math lady meme

and here agatha jumps ahead to save lilia from the falling sword. you know what she's doing? she's doing what alice would have done. in moments of danger we've seen alice barreling to the rescue with agatha one step behind, almost following but ultimately suppressing the instinct to help. I don't know if agatha absorbed something of alice's essence by killing her, or if her example was simply contagious. but agatha has taken up her mantle, and, without realizing it, she's protecting the coven in her stead

lilia jumps to episode two, episode four and episode three in rapid succession, and lands herself back with maestra.

lilia says she didn't want to come, maestra once again calls out her bullshit. nobody put her on this journey, nobody stole her powers. she did it all herself.

I'm a forgotten woman. Then REMEMBER YOURSELF! is one of the best lines in these shows, I'm putting it up there with what is grief but love persevering. it's so empowering. because look, we can ask for help, we can find community. we need to, actually. but nobody can save you, if you don't save yourself first.

lilia's past, her family, her coven, an entire generation wiped out, with her as the sole survivor. she saw it coming from miles away and couldn't do anything to prevent it.

in her anguish, lilia has just revealed her old maestra exactly how she's going to die. and this impossibly wise woman just shrugs it off.

it's all we have in common.

we cannot escape our suffering. we can only share the burden.

go to episode 7 part 5

[littlesapphicraccoonguy]

Me and my pals often joke about Leigh Whannell being 2-5 apples tall since he’s short, but i decided to make an actual diagram of how many apples tall he is

So according to my research, the average apple is between 5-10 cm tall, Leigh Whannell himself is about roughly 170 cm tall(5’6 1/2)

So I used this photo to measure my apple height accurately

I used stickers of apples on picsart to compare to the centimeter markers on the photo, I made sure the apples were between 5-10 cm tall, most of them are about 7 cm tall from what I can tell

So, here is the original diagram I made. I started at the toe of Leigh’s foot, though I’m not really sure why, since in most cases where someone’s height is measured they go by the heel of that person’s foot. So for this one, Leigh is roughly 19 1/2 apples tall

Here’s the new diagram I made that goes by the heel of Leigh’s foot instead of his toe. In this one, you can see that Leigh is a bit less than 18 1/2 apples tall

Of course, his shoes may add on a little extra height, so if we’re measuring by that, I think he’d be 18 apples tall.

So conclusion, Leigh Whannell is around 18 apples tall.

[moody-alcoholic]

Special Delivery Service

Chapter 15 - The New Client

Summary: Simon x reader, 4.1k words. Time to meet Kira Nova, the British pop sensation requesting armed security.

CW: Mentions of SA, Mentions of terrorist's attack, break in, mentions of stalking, crazy fans.

AN: I have no idea why this chapter took me so long to get through, it's very fluffy, very much filler.. Anyway cue bodyguard shenanigan's for the next few chapters.

Previous - masterlist - Next AO3

Enjoy <3

“How do I look?” You ask Johnny straightening your blouse. 

“You look fine.” Simon says. 

“He has to say that I need a neutral source.” You say turning to Johnny. 

“You look nervous.” Johnny says smiling, you sigh. 

“Don’t worry it’ll be fine.” Kyle says, you turn to look at him. He leans over the balcony next to Johnny. 

“I can’t believe we’re meeting the Kira Nova.” Johnny says.

“You had no idea who she was.” Simon says.

“Not a clue,” Johnny replies, you sigh. Kyle chuckles and you lean over the balcony. 

“You guys need to get out more, she’s all over the UK right now, her music is in the top 10, her tour has been advertised for months. Kira Nova is just a stage name. Her real name is Charlotte Casanova.” You explain. Simon looks at you with a raised eyebrow. 

“Italian parent’s.” You say like that’s supposed to explain everything.

“So what does she need armed security for?” Johnny asks, biting into an apple. 

“Something about the recent attacks, she’s delayed the start of her tour twice.” 

“Where’s the first location?” Kyle asks. 

“O2.” You reply.

“That’s gotta be one of the most secure venues right?” Kyle asks. 

“Plenty of sniper spots.” Simon says, you look at him frowning. 

“Do any of you actually read the documents I write?” You ask looking round at them all. 

“I read the summary.” Johnny says, you nudge him. You’re looking out the main doors when you see 2 back SUV’s with tinted windows pull up outside the building. You swallow hard, that must be them. You hear John’s door opening as he comes out and everyone stops leaning on the balcony. You look back at Simon who pulls his mask up over his nose, you smile at him. 

The nerves are back again as John walks down the steps, you all go to follow him, there are people getting out of the SUV’s tall men with earpieces in. You try to look for Kira but you can’t see her, she must still be in the car. Someone walks into the building through the open doors, he looks frazzled, skinny with a bag swung over his shoulder and papers in his hands.

“Who is Mr. Price?” He asks flicking through papers before looking round everyone. Price holds out his hand.

“Mr. Price,” Johnny whispers, leaning into you chuckling. 

“It sounds so wrong.” Kyle says behind you. 

“What’s this?” John asks, looking at the piece of paper he was handed. 

“NDA, you’ll all need to sign one.” He says passing them around to everyone. You skim over it, it just looks like legal jargon. Everyone waits for John who signs the paper then hands the clipboard round. The man waits until everyone has signed it and he’s taken it back before smiling and heading back to the cars. Another man gets out, he's in a smart suit, he looks over the papers then gets back into the SUV. 

You’re all just waiting in silence as people move around, then the car door opens again and the man gets out again. You watch as she steps out the car, she’s wearing a thick jacket pulled right up the back of her neck, a hat and thick rimmed sunglasses. She enters the building in a hurry followed by the rest of her entourage. When she’s in the building she relaxes, pulling her glasses off and looking round everyone.

“I thought you were all military?” She asks. 

“Ex-military.” The man in a nice suit behind her says she sighs rolling her eyes. 

“Do you have somewhere we can talk?” The man in the suit asks. You raise any eyebrow as John leads them upstairs to his office. Everyone follows, the man in the suit and Kira sit down while everyone else stands behind them. 

“First, obviously I would like to say thank you for taking the time to talk to us, you would not believe the amount of hoops we have to jump through for this.” The man in the suite says. 

“And you are?” John asks him. 

“I’m Richard, her manager.” He puts his hand out and John shakes it, he looks at you. You shrug, he read the same info as you. 

“So how long have you been doing security?” Richard asks. 

“Almost a year.” John says. You hear Simon sigh, you know he’s the least excited about this. He gave you the long speech about how much he hates doing security work. 'Standing around for hours on end waiting for nothing to happen to someone. At least if I was a bouncer I’d get to kick drunkards around.’

“So why do you need armed security? The information you gave us was very vague.” John asks, sitting down. 

“Unfortunately, we’ve had an incident, multiple incidents of threats sent via social media.” Richard says, looking at Kira. 

“What kind of threats?” John asks. Johnny nudges you, thrusting his phone in your face. You squint reading the tweets. 

“Shit.” You say, John looks over at you. 

“You’ve really poked the bear lass.” Johnny scoffs, passing his phone to John. He looks through them swiping on the phone. It’s threats she’s been sending.  

“Unfortunately, Charlotte has a habit of calling out people she does not agree with. That includes a group of ex-fans who have seemingly put a bounty on her head.” Richard says. “I assume you’ve seen the video?” John shakes his head. Richard sighs, taking out his phone and pressing play on a video before handing it to John. You’re not listening to it but John sighs his eyes looking up and digging into Kira. 

The phone comes to Johnny and you lean in looking at the screen. It looks like the terrorist videos you’ve seen online only instead of terrorists it looks like fans. A few people stood with a blown up photo of her behind them, weapons in their hands, faces covered. They’re condemning her and her music, saying that they will target her concerts, as well as offering money for someone to ‘take her down.’ 

“What have the police said?” John asks. 

“Not much, she made the threats, but they don’t think she’s a target. They seem to be under the impression that it’s just empty threats, that the weapons are fake and it's just a parody. Not the most uncommon thing they have seen unfortunately.” 

“You think it’s serious?” John asks. 

“There was an attempt on her life. We managed to contain it without letting it get out into the press.” 

“Why didn’t you go back to the police?” Kyle asks. 

“We did, they didn’t really do anything. Said there was no evidence it was linked, just a coincidence.” He shrugged. John looks up at Simon, it’s like they’re mentally communicating.

“I don’t care if you help or not.” Kira says, breaking the silence. Richard goes to protest. 

“You brought this on yourself.” John says as a matter of fact his eyes are digging into her. She just nods. Simon sighs again. 

“We’ll help.” John stands up his hands on the desk as he leans forward. “I need to know you’re willing to work with us. I will not put my men in danger if you’re going to continue to antagonize people who seem pretty hell bent on harming you.” She nods again. 

“I promise you Mr. Price she will not be doing anything of the sort.” 

“Okay,” John nods. Everyone goes to move Simon grabbing your sleeve, you follow out the room leaving John alone with Richard and Kira. 

“Fucking idiot.” Johnny says under his breath as he flops down on the sofa.

“Who?” You ask sitting down next to him. 

“What do you think LT?” Kyle asks. 

“More money than sense.” Simon says. 

“She’s an idiot.” You say agreeing with Johnny. She’s so openly provoking people. “Actions have consequences.” 

“At least she’s not a diva.” Johnny shrugs. You look up at Simon as he crosses his arms.

“Listen to this one.” Kyle says, looking on his phone. “Don’t come to my concert’s if you’re not willing to spend. Don’t want no broke ass fans.” 

“That’s not too bad.” You say. 

“She posted that this morning. This group really hate her, look at their website.” Johnny says leaning over and showing you a website. It looks amateur but it’s full of threats, a list of demands. You watch as Johnny presses through the tabs. 

“What did she do to piss them off so much?” You ask. Johnny shrugs. He clicks on another tab it looks like a live social media feed. It’s giving live updates on where she is. She left her flat with her manager at 8 o’clock this morning. You watch as Johnny refreshes the page and Kyle reads more of her questionable tweets. Then a picture of the work building and the SUV’s parked outside. 

“Shite, Si come look at this.” You watch as he comes over looking at the phone. He takes it out of Johnny’s hand and heads into the office. Johnny gets up to look over the balcony and you follow him. You don’t see anything out of the ordinary, you hear Simon come out of the office. 

“Soap, Gaz lets go.” He says heading down the stairs. They don’t need to be told twice following behind him as they walk out the open doors looking around. You watch as they disappear out of view. John comes out of his office calling you and you go in. You look at Kira, she looks like a kid who’s just had the telling off of her life, her head hung playing with her hands. 

“Hope you’re ready for some paperwork.” Richard says handing you a heavy stack of papers. They almost knock you over with how heavy the stack is. 

“What’s this?” You ask not being able to flick through them. 

“Everything Charlotte has got in trouble with. We believe any one of them could be behind this group.” He explains, you look at the paper on the top; it looks like a court transcript. 

“Why don’t you just agree to their demands?” You ask, looking at John. You don’t know if that’s an appropriate question or what their demands even are. 

“They want me to give away almost all my income and retire from singing.” She says, you raise an eyebrow.

“Is that worth more than your life?” You ask, you see John smile. 

“Singing is my life, I have nothing without it. Besides, I won't negotiate with terrorists.” She says looking at you like you’re an idiot for even asking. 

“They’re not terrorists.” You snap at her, you don’t mean it. You just don’t like the thought of her comparing some crazy fans to terrorists. She looks at you in shock. 

“They fucking attacked me they’re terrorists!” She snaps back. You look up at John and he motions at the door. You get the idea, shaking your head and walking round the room. No one is back yet from whatever it is they’re doing as you make your way back over to the sofa. You thumb through the papers picking up what looks like a bunch of photocopied fan letters. Then your stomach drops they’re thank you letters. Kids thanking her for her charity work.

The next piece of paper is an invoice. You remember seeing about this in the news. She's been accused of embezzling money through her kids cancer charity. How she hasn’t been canceled already is a miracle. This happened a few weeks before the wave of terrorist attacks across Europe. She performed at the charity concert and set a new date for her tour to start. People seemed to forgive her for that, besides it is all just allegations. You look back towards the office, maybe she wasn’t such a bad person but she certainly wasn’t making a good first impression. 

You see Johnny and Kyle walk up the steps coming back over to the sofa. 

“What’s all this?” Johnny asks, taking his jacket off. 

“Her dirty laundry.” You say.  

“Shite, she’s got more paperwork than I do.” Johnny chuckles rubbing his knee. 

“You need to get back to physio for that mate.” Kyle says.

“Na, just the weather getting colder is all.” Johnny replies. Simon comes up the stairs next and walks into the office. Everyone just sits in silence waiting for what’s going to happen. A few minutes later everyone walks out. John and Simon hang back watching as her and Richard get back into the SUV’s. You can’t hear what they’re saying as Simon stands with his arms crossed and John leans on the balcony. You watch the SUV’s drive away as Johnny picks up another paper. You look over at it, it’s definitely a fan letter judging by the colourful language. 

“Maybe being famous isn’t so easy after all.” Johnny smirks. 

 —————————— 

You hadn’t been home for long before Simon was called back into work. He left quickly, not telling you why he had to go back. You cooked some food and watched the TV waiting for him to let you know what was going on. You learnt that when Simon was working unless he had to tell you he would wait. He could be doing anything, could even be doing soldier work. Seems like John was pretty buddy buddy with some people at MI5, they would ask for favors now and then. Kate Laswell the woman you met in Paris you learned works for the CIA. It was almost starting to sound like something out of a movie. Maybe John knew nuke codes too. 

It was almost 9pm when you looked at the clock again, he still isn't home. You get up going to the kitchen, before you get tired you need to take the trash out at least, it’s bin day tomorrow and you hate leaving food in the flat overnight. You get up collecting it all fighting with the bin to pull the bag out. You’d been ordering too much take away, you needed to get back into cooking. You feel bad too, Simon’s a fit guy and you’re pretty sure he would prepare a home cooked meal rather than chinese every night. 

When you open the front door a cold wind hits you, winter is moving in, you like winter mainly christmas. This will be your first christmas with Simon, you’ll need to start thinking of gifts to get him. What would you even get him? Well if all else fails you can’t go wrong with Lynx and a chocolate orange. The thought of buying and wrapping christmas presents for everyone makes you happy as you walk into the hall closing the door behind you. 

People are still out when you make it over to the bins. Walking their dogs coming home late from work, or going out. The carpark is always well lit, you’ve walked across it to the bins many times. This time something felt different though. You can’t explain it but it feels like there’s someone watching you. You try to push the feeling away. There’s no one watching you, you’re just being paranoid. You’ve been reading documents about a group stalking someone all day that’s all it is. 

You throw out the trash making it back across the carpark without incident. See, you’re being silly . You tell yourself as you walk back into the block of flats. You walk up to the first floor then you see your door open. You freeze, gripping the staircase banister. You’re sure you closed the door. Your heart is thumping in your chest, your lungs burn as you realise you haven’t taken a breath. Maybe the wind blew it open. Maybe you didn’t lose it. Your hand reaches into your pocket as you step up to the top step. You hear something, papers being ruffled. Maybe Simon’s back you call him bringing the phone up to your ear. 

“Hey, sorry I know it’s late-” 

“You’re not here yet?” You ask quietly, cutting him off. 

“No, I'm coming back now.”

“Simon, I think there’s someone in my flat.” There’s silence on the line. You’re at your door now it seems like your body has already decided you wanted to go into your flat. 

“Stay outside, I’m on my way.” 

“I’m going in.” You whisper ignoring his instructions. You hear him protesting so you take the phone away from your ear. You open the door with your foot. You see a figure in your flat bent over the pile of papers on the coffee table. He’s dressed in all black with a balaclava on. By his build it’s a man, or at least what you assume is a man.  

“Hey!” You shout as loud as you dare. The figure springs up, his hands wrapped round the papers from the table. You can hear Simon calling you down the phone but your adrenaline is spiked and you’re looking at the person in your flat. Before you can do anything he is rushing towards you. You freeze as he pushes past you. You’re too scared to do anything but he has the files you were given earlier. 

“Hey!” You can just as he turns to the stairs. You reach out and grab him, pulling his arm. He saps around to look at you, his eyes scrunched together he looks mad. You realise you haven’t let go of his arm. Fear runs through you as he shoves you off. 

“You shouldn’t work for that bitch.” Definitely a guy. He runs down the steps and you bring the phone back up to your ear. 

“He’s gone.” Is all you manage to say. You hear a sigh down the line. 

“You okay?” He asks. 

“Yeah.” You manage to say, still stood in the hallway. 

“Go into your flat. Lock the door. I’m on my way.” He says. You hear him hang up. You go into your flat and lock the door looking over at the mess of paperwork round your flat. You feel sick. 

What the fuck just happened…

—————————— 

Simon gets a lift from John. It feels like it’s only been a few minutes and you’re on your hands and knees picking up the papers the guy had left. Simon and John walk into your flat. Simon comes straight over to you and you sit back on your knees as his hands find your face. 

“You okay?” He asks, you nod sniffling. You’d already had a cry as the adrenaline wore off. 

“Did you get a good look at them?” He asks, you shake your head. 

“He had a mask on, it was a man though.” He nods, getting up and kissing your forehead. 

“He took most of the paperwork.” You say to John standing up with what’s left. It’s papers you haven't read yet. He comes over taking the papers out of your hand. 

“What happened at work?” You ask.

“Break in, they didn't take anything, tried to get into the store room and Price’s office.” Simon explains as John looks through the stack.

“Who do you think did it?” You feel like you already know the answer. 

“That crazy stan group. What exactly did she do?” John asks, you can hear the kettle boiling. You look over at the kitchen seeing Simon making tea.

“Well, there’s multiple lawsuits for defamation. Something about embezzling from a charity. Then there are the social media claims. People coming forward having worked for her, saying they were treated horribly, allegations of her sexually assaulting people. There’s a lot here, I haven't had time to look through it all.” You explain looking at the small pile of things you’ve even been able to go through. 

“What did MI5 say?” Simon calls from the kitchen. 

“She’s on their radar, they’re aware of the video but don’t think it’s a credible threat. It’s a group of unorganized fans, not a terrorist organization.” John says.

“Anything concrete? Lawsuits, guilty verdicts or all hearsay?” He asks turning back to you.

“A few pending suits from brand companies, one or two class action suits. I don’t know what that guy took. I hadn't finished going through it all.” You sigh. You should have waited for Simon to come. Locked him in your flat and waited. He would have probably jumped off the balcony. You’re only on the first floor. Besides how were you supposed to lock him in your flat, you went out without a key.  

“But they’re just fans, do you really think they’re dangerous?” You say.

“They’re orginised, they know where we work and broken in plus have been here already.” Simon says looking round from the kitchen. You watch as John and Simon look at each other doing that thing where it’s like they’re mentally communicating. John hands the papers back to you. 

“I’ll talk to the client. Two break-ins in one night, these guys aren't playing.” John says.

“Too dangerous?” You ask.

John chuckles heading to the door. “No such thing.” He says leaving. You want to call out to him and tell him he’s wrong. You turn to look at Simon in the kitchen bringing over 2 cups of tea.

“Maybe if it's so dangerous I should have some protection.” You say, you’re not sure where this is going. You just don’t want to feel alone in your own home again. Not after everything. You go round to sit on the sofa next to Simon.

“You’re not having a gun. I can’t be worried about you shooting innocent people because you get spooked.”

“I didn’t mean a gun besides even if I did John taught me how to shoot.” He sighs as he puts the mugs down on the coffee table.

“John took you to a range once.” 

“You teach me then.”

“No.” 

“You’re more likely to hurt yourself with a weapon than you are of actually stopping anyone.” He says as a matter of fact. You don’t know why you’re upset, he's right. Plus it is still very illegal, is it worth the risk for life in prison? You run your hand over his chest, you don’t want to be mad at him, it's not his fault.

“Sorry.” You say he wraps his arm around you. 

“Nothing to be sorry for, just don’t want you getting hurt.” He says kissing the top of your head. 

“So, do you look good in a suit?” You ask, changing the subject. 

“I haven't worn a suit in years.” He says.

“I can take you shopping if you want?” He looks at you with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah it’ll be fun. I’ll ask Johnny and Kyle too, I'm pretty sure I heard them complaining about having to buy new suits.” You go to pick up your phone but he wraps his arms around you pulling you onto his chest. 

“I would rather go back through SAS training than suffer through a shopping session with Johnny, and Gaz.” He whispers in your ear sending shivers down your spine. 

“Oh yeah, I think it would be fun.” You tease. “Imagining you in a nice suit and an earpiece. Protecting a celebrity. It’s kind of a turn on.” 

“A turn on really?” He asks, kissing your neck. 

“Would you be my bodyguard?” You ask, repositioning yourself over his legs. Letting your head sink into his neck. 

“Depends what kind of celebrity you are” He teases his hands gripping your waist.

“I think I'd want to be a movie star, think about all the people I could meet.” 

“Need someone to walk you down the red carpet? Practice your scenes with?” He kisses your neck and you shudder at the contact.

“Especially the sexy ones.” You say leaning down to kiss him. He smiles as his tongue presses against yours, his hands moving down your back, cupping your ass. Maybe you could have sex now but you’re too tired. You break away from the kiss swinging your legs around so you’re sat back beside him. His arm comes over the back of the couch and you snuggle up beside him as he reaches for his tea. 

“Fine, we can go suit shopping tomorrow.” He says, sighing. You squeal excitedly as you reach over for your phone to text Johnny and Kyle.  

“But you have to get a nice dress to match.” He says as you’re halfway through the text. You turn to look at him seeing the playful grin on your face. 

“I’ll do you one better.” You tease. “How about a nice matching underwear set you get to rip off me after a long hard day.” He chuckles while sipping his tea. You feel heat rush to your cheeks. 

“Hey, I’m new to this flirting game, leave me alone.” You protest. 

“Baby, you’d look sexy in a bin bag.” He says resting his free hand on your thigh. You blush again. You snuggle up against him finishing the text. It doesn’t take long for Johnny to text you back.

“Johnny says he knows a place that does decent suits.” You say as Simon turns the TV on.

“‘Cause he does.” He says leaning back. You look over at the pile of paperwork still waiting to go through. You hope the guy didn’t steal anything too important. At least court documents are public record, you should be able to track down anything you’re missing. Seems like tomorrow was going to be a long day after all.

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[lov3m3darling]

Apple of my Eye (Obsessed!Wally Darling x Short!Reader) Pt. 3

Oh boy, here I go writing again >:3

Anyways, to everyone who has supported this or left a nice comment, just know I would die for you 💙

After this, I'm thinking of writing something for Howdy. There isn't nearly enough fics on here about our favorite bug boi 💚🐛 it might just be some HCs but I gotta do something for him cause now I ALSO have a lil crush on him ;-; he's so tall and he's got all those arms for huggin! I kinda also wanna make an OC to ship with him. I was thinking maybe a snail who works at the Bugdega with him. I just really like snails, I have 2 of them as pets 🐌❤️

Anyway, on with this fic. Enjoyyy!

!!!(TW: obsessive behaviors, jealousy, eye imagery)!!!

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The next day, you got up with more enthusiasm than usual. You decided on a nice light breakfast of (fav fruit) so you could save your appetite for lunch with Wally.

Oh boy, there you went thinking about him again...

After last night, you couldn't seem to get him out of your mind. Even when you finally managed to fall asleep, you dreamt of him.

Dreams of more dates, of gentle kisses as you watched the sunset, of cuddles and movies and snacks under a cozy blanket...

What was happening to you? You were positive you'd never been so lovesick before...

It was even hard for you wait until lunchtime that day. Instead of your usual hobbies to pass the time, you found yourself staring at the clock and fidgeting. You tried to keep yourself busy, but couldn't seem to focus on any of the books or tv shows you tried to watch. It all just came back to the agonizingly slow ticking of the clock on the wall.

But finally...FINALLY it was time to start getting ready, and you practically jumped off the couch to get started.

Eventually you stood in your kitchen, waiting for Wally to arrive. Not a hair out of place, not a single wrinkle in your clothing, and not a clue what you would do when he actually showed up. Wally always seemed to fluster you, and you didn't want to be fumbling over yourself on a date with him, of all things! What would he think?!

Your anxious thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Taking a deep breath, you made your way as gracefully as possible to the door to answer it.

And there he was. Wearing a red suit and holding a very colorful bouquet of flowers in his hands, he smiled at you with that calm expression he always seemed to have.

"(Y/n), you look..."

Oh heavens...there it was again, that warmth within him. You looked absolutely, positively, wonderfully....

"Perfect..." he breathed, his eyes taking in your full form. He realized after a few beats that he was staring, and shifted his eyes up to your blushing face instead.

You shyly looked down at your shoes and squirmed under his gaze.

"Ah, golly...stop it or I'll melt. You look breathtaking in a suit too, Wally..."

You could absolutely cut the romantic tension with a knife at this point, it hung so heavily in the air. Suddenly, Wally remembered the flowers.

"Oh, I got you these! I can't lie, they were Barnaby's suggestion...I don't know much about dates. I've never been on one before"

He held them out to you, and you took them catefully, your fingers brushing his for a moment. You glanced at each other and then bashfully looked away again.

"They're gorgeous! I-I better get them in a vase so they last a long time! I'll only be a moment.."

Wally came in to wait while you rummaged in the kitchen cabinet for a nice vase to put your flowers in.

Looking around your living room, he noticed a few pictures hung up of you with some people he didn't recognize...including a man you seemed particularly close with.

His eye twitched.

"Say, (y/n), who are these fine folks in these pictures with you?"

"Hm? Oh! Those are some of my friends back home!"

thisisyourhome

"Yeah, shame I can't see them as much anymore. But we still call often!"

don'ttalktothem

You came back to the living room, having found a suitable vase for the flowers and displayed them on your kitchen table. You noticed Wally looking at one picture in particular and smiled.

"Ah, that's me and my cousin! That was a fun summer..."

Suddenly, the anger clouding Wally's mind evaporated. He realized his stare was about to break the glass of the picture frame, and he looked away, straightening his tie and smiling at you.

"Well, I'm sure living here will give you plenty new memories to hang on the wall"

You nodded.

"I'm sure it will, too. Hey, I'll grab my camera and maybe you and I can take one!"

A picture with him? To hang on your wall?

Though Wally had no heart, he was almost positive he felt one skip a beat in his chest as he thought about you displaying him among your closest friends and family. Was he really that important to you?

He watched you pack your camera away in the basket, and picked it up before you could. You looked up at him questioningly, but he just smiled and offered you his arm.

"I'll carry it. Come on, there's a lot to see!"

Wally brought you all around town, pointing out spots of interest and naming off which neighbors lived in which houses. Several of them were outside as you went by, and you got to meet them finally.

Julie was absolutely ecstatic to meet you! She gave you a lovely yellow flower from her garden and offered to come over and do your hair one day.

Frank was cold at first, but when you complimented his bowtie and expressed interest in the book he was reading, he warmed up and said you could come by for book discussion and tea anytime.

Alternatively, Barnaby was warm immediately! He was proud to see his best buddy on a date with such a pretty and polite new neighbor, and he told you some of his best jokes. And it was nice to meet the guy who gave Wally all that date advice!

Howdy was outside sweeping when you came by, and shook your hand with 2 of his. When he learned of your plans to have a picnic, he gave you a couple of the cookies he had just gotten in stock. On the house! And told you to come by the shop anytime you needed anything.

Eddie wasn't at the post office, but you did cross paths later on your walk. He tipped his hat and introduced himself, but seemed to get distracted when he spotted Frank catching butterflies across the street, and quickly excused himself, stumbling over his own feet on the way. You asked Wally what was up with him, and he chuckled.

"Eddie and Frank are...well...fond of each other"

"Ohh!" you said as it finally clicked in your mind.

"They are cute together, aren't they?"

You looked at Wally shyly.

"Cuter than us?"

His face flushed bright red.

"Nothing is cuter than you, dearest~ Why, you're the loveliest thing I've ever laid eyes on~"

You giggled teasingly, but felt his arm wrap around your waist as you continued on your walk. Your face grew warm for the millionth time since you met him, but you managed to at least lean your head against his shoulder in return.

Eventually, you arrived at the picnic spot. It was shady and private and the grass was soft.

"This is where I like to paint sometimes. I love Home and the neighbors and all...but sometimes quiet and solitude is nice as well"

You nodded as you grabbed the blanket from the basket and spread it out.

"That makes sense. I like my alone time too, but...for some reason I never need a break from you, Wally" you admitted, looking away shyly.

He was silent for a beat, then chuckled and plopped down onto the blanket. You moved to sit across from him, but he unexpectedly took your hands and guided you to sit in his lap. He kissed your hands and gazed up at you like you were the most divine thing he had ever seen.

Because you were.

"I could never get tired of you either. You've given my life meaning again"

Your eyes widened and sparkled at his words. You were speechless until one of his hands came up to caress your cheek. You leaned into his hand, and he smiled.

"Could I..?"

"Oh, please do.."

And he did.

Warmth spread through your body, right to your very soul. Everything around the two of you seemed to fade away until even the chirping of the birds was fuzzy and distant. You weren't sure how long the kiss lasted, but when Wally did pull away, he sighed.

"If you aren't mine after this, I'll surely die.."

You smiled, leaning your forehead against his.

"Looks like the show must go on, Mr. Darling"

A giddy grin spread across his face and he attacked your face and neck with joyful kisses.

When you two were finished kissing and flirting, you decided to finally have your lunch. There were a few apple-based dishes, but to Wally's surprise, he liked everything! He had always been a picky eater; rarely trying new things and only eating when he absolutely had to, but soon he found a whole new world of foods he liked. Sandwiches, cookies, watermelon...they were all delightful! Who knew!

Of course, he only took bites when you weren't looking. He wasn't ready to tell you how he ate yet, and he didn't want to scare you off. So instead, he would lift the food to his mouth before blinking, just to seem more realistic.

But you were too dazed from all the kisses and your new boyfriend to notice or care.

Boyfriend...oh, the thought made you shudder with excitement! And he was so sweet and marvelous, you never wanted your time with him to end. You'd never met anyone you didn't eventually need space from, but you were positive you would be quite content to sit on this blanket under this tree with him forever, holding hands and making jokes and eating yummy food...

But eventually, the sun started to go down and it was time to pack up. Wally helped you put everything away, and suddenly you spotted your camera at the bottom of the basket.

"Oh, hey! Let's take that picture before we go"

Wally seemed excited for it, and pulled you back into his lap. You took several pictures; your faces together smiling, your lips to his cheek, making bunny ears over the top of his pompadour, and a few kissing ones. You made sure to snap two of each so he could have one, then tucked your camera away in the basket again. You spread out the photos on the blanket at smiled at him.

While you waited for them to develop, you both laid down to watch the clouds.

"Ooh! That one looks like a flower!" you exclaimed, pointing to it. Wally hummed in agreement.

"I think that one is a car"

"What? No way, it looks like a banana! And so do you!" You said, sitting up and poking his face where his nose would be.

"How's that?"

"I don't know! ...you're yellow?"

"Ha ha ha...(y/n) you're very imaginative. One of the things I love about you"

You blushed.

"Well...I love your laugh"

"I love your smile"

"I love your hair"

"I love your cooking"

"I love you"

Silence. You slapped your hand over your mouth and sat straight up, refusing to look at him. Where did that come from?! Nervously, you waited for him to say something. Anything.

"...please say it again"

Slowly, you turned to look at him. He was sitting up now, too, and his eyes were wide.

"I..I love..you...and maybe that's weird or wrong! I just met you yesterday! So it's crazy, but I...I love you, Wally"

"(Y/n) you are just...the absolute most.."

There were hearts in his eyes as he grabbed your shoulders and kissed you yet again, smiling against your lips.

"I love you too"

...

"Oh hey, the photos are done"

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Welp. What a date, huh? ☺️ little less yandere in this part, but part 4 will have plenty. I wanted to establish that it's not just some random obsession, he's genuinely in love with you and you feel the same.

Should make yandere dynamic...interesting.

As always, more to come ❤️🍎