#he ignored his quarantine lol

[kozi-ism]

Meet Captain Bartholomew Pickles the 3rd! 💜

[mypoisonedvine]

𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗻 | joel miller x reader x emmett

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | the last thing you wanted to do was make emmett jealous, or question your loyalty to him; but as it turns out, he may be a little more supportive than you expected when he catches you looking at joel miller.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 | 7.1k

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | smut - 18+ only (threesome, established relationship, sharing/hotwife kink, daddy kink, oral m and f receiving, anal and DP, creampie, light choking, overstimulation/multiple orgasms, some very gentle/mild degradation, tons and tons of praise), implied age gap (not specified, obviously reader is an adult), takes place in the last of us universe but pretty much porn without plot lol so don't overthink it

In the last year of traveling with Emmett, you’d mostly avoided the QZs.  He said that the people there were cheats and liars at best— and that’s to say nothing of the corrupt military leaders that actually ran the place.  However, desperation puts people into positions they never expected to be. 

After all, you would’ve never imagined being with a man like him, though in this case you meant it in a good way— that you never thought someone as brave and resourceful as him would want somebody like you.

But, that said, you made yourself useful when you could.  The best thing you could offer was your medical knowledge, and you were always the one tending to Emmett after injuries or illness.  Still, he promised that he loved you for who you were, not what you could do for him.  He was shockingly gentle, and passionate, especially for someone who had been forced to be rather ruthless to survive in this new world.

So, while you had been avoiding the quarantined areas and sticking to abandoned strips of forest and city, a lack of food out there forced you to venture to Boston— or, what was left of it.

Fortunately, you'd found more hospitality here than you expected.  Maybe it was just pity— and wanting some more of that ammo Emmett had sold him— but a man named Joel Miller had given you a place to stay and helped you earn some rations here so you could finally eat.  He reminded you of Emmett in some ways: stoic, hardworking, and generous beneath that hardened exterior.  But Emmett had become much more sensitive and open with you in your time together, and Joel was all but a stranger.  Sometimes he was so stern that he almost seemed irritated with you, but he kept letting you and Emmett stay, so he must not have been too annoyed by you.

And, you helped him how you could— like when he was in yours and Emmett’s room, sitting in the chair and talking to Emmett about something to do with tomorrow’s open jobs, and you noticed a cut across his palm.

“I-I can help with that,” you offered softly, motioning to the injury.  “Do you want me to bandage it for you?”

“It’s not that bad,” Joel shook his head.

“It’s easier to clean it now than worry about an infection later,” you reminded him.

Though he seemed a little tense, glancing at Emmett for a moment, he relented with a nod.  You smiled lightly as you stepped forward and knelt by Joel’s feet, picking up his hand and examining the cut.

Once you figured what it needed, you quickly hopped up to rifle through your bag, bringing back a disinfectant wipe and a roll of gauze.  Holding his hand open— and feeling a little flustered from touching his warm, rough skin— you carefully wiped up the cut.  “Does it hurt at all?” you asked him.

“Not too bad,” he replied lowly.

“You should see Emmett when I’ve gotta wrap him up,” you giggled, “he always acts like what I’m doing hurts more than when he actually got the injury in the first place.”

“Hey,” Emmett warned you in a stern voice, but you smiled up at Joel who returned with a small smirk.

“Alright, all better,” you hummed as you finished bandaging Joel.  “Let me know if it’s hurting you too much, that’s a bad sign.  Don’t just ignore it and act tough, okay?”

Joel seemed a little uncomfortable— if not sort of amused by— taking orders from you, but he nodded.  “I’ll let y’all get to bed now,” he decided as he stood up.  “Sleep well.  Lot of work to be done in the morning.”

“G’night,” Emmett offered him with a nod.

You felt a little strange, him standing up fully while you were still on your knees on the floor.  “Goodnight, Joel,” you said, your voice sounding sweeter and girlier than you intended.  Your face felt warm— you worried Emmett had noticed the change in your voice, too, but would he think much of it if he had?  

Thankfully, he didn’t say anything about it that night, simply pulling you close when you got into bed, burying his face in your neck.

But the next night, that was a different story.  You weren’t actually going to sleep yet, even though it was late enough for it— he’d already changed into an old t-shirt and pajama pants, while you were still in your dress, but he’d laid back on top of the sheets and patted the bed, silently asking you to join him.  You smiled and obeyed, of course, leaving the lamp on as you slipped in by his side.

Emmett held you gently, rubbing your back as you laid your head on his chest.  “You’re not too tired, are you?” he asked quietly.

For what? you wondered, but just shook your head instead.

“We can stay up a little longer,” he decided.  “Didn’t get a chance to hold you all day.”

“Yeah,” you sighed wistfully, nuzzling in more as you squeezed his torso a bit.

“Or talk to you much,” he continued.

“Was there something you wanted to talk about?” you asked, looking up at him from your head’s happy place on his shoulder.

“Just something I noticed,” Emmett replied, looking back at you sweetly as he brushed your hair aside with his fingers.  "I think you've got a crush on Joel."

You froze, face getting warm in an instant.  "I-I only want you, Emmett, I swear— you know I would never—"

"Shh, shh," he soothed as he chuckled a little, "it's okay, baby.  I'm not angry with you… you're not doin' anything wrong."

"Really?" you asked nervously, and he nodded.  "I thought you might be jealous…"

He shook his head and laughed a little.

"I-I just think he's handsome," you explained, "and sort of nice— but that's really it!"

"It's alright, baby," he purred, "cause you know something?  I was talking to him earlier today, and he wants you too."

Your sat up and your eyes went wide as you tried to imagine that conversation.  You could hardly believe that that was true, let alone that Joel has admitted it to Emmett… or had Joel approached Emmett about it, asking for a night with you?  Oh god, your head already hurt trying to wrap itself around this…

"I know how hard it is to keep a naughty little thing like you satisfied," Emmett explained with a smirk, sitting up with you and speaking softly beside your ear.  “I'm willing to bring in a little… outside help."

Just then, the door opened slowly and Joel stepped inside.  You watched him, totally unsure how to feel, as he shut the door behind himself, and then his eyes met yours.

"C'mere," Emmett offered to Joel, patting the bed beside you two.  "No need to be shy, Miller."

You watched as Joel took a seat on the bed, and you looked at Emmett as you lowered your voice.  "You don't have to do this for me," you promised him softly.  "You know I love you— I only need you—"

"It's okay," he soothed as he pet your face.  "I told you, I'm not angry.  I want you to do this."

"You… want me to?"

"If you want it," Emmett replied.

You shivered as Joel leaned forward a bit, reaching out to gently rub up and down your leg.  "What do you think, princess?" he asked softly.  "Don't worry, you're not gonna hurt my feelings if you say you don't wanna—"

"I want to," you admitted quickly, afraid to lose your courage if you waited any longer to say it.

Both men smiled at you as you looked back and forth between them; Joel's warm brown eyes against Emmett's steely blue ones… they were so similar, and so opposite, in so many impossible ways.

Without saying anything, Joel suddenly lifted your chin and guided you into a kiss.

You felt strange kissing someone other than Emmett, something you hadn't done in quite some time.  Joel's lips weren't as soft as Emmett's, and his kiss wasn't as gentle; he moved his hand to the back of your neck to hold you close, gently pressing his tongue into your mouth.  It wasn't too aggressive or anything, but it was certainly quite forward.  Emmett's hands were still on you, gently rubbing your back, and you reached back to find and hold one just as your other arm wrapped around Joel's broad shoulders.

Joel made you gasp by breaking away to kiss at your neck instead; you squeezed Emmett's hand slightly.  "Fuck, she sounds so pretty," Joel noticed when you moaned at his teeth teasing your pulse.

"Yeah," Emmett agreed.  "She can get loud, too, so let's just hope she doesn't wake anybody up…"

Joel pulled your hand away from Emmett's and guided it to the bulge in his jeans; you sighed as you felt it, a hot feeling stirring in your chest.  "See how you got me all worked up already?" he scolded you playfully.  "C'mon and take it out for me."

Your hands were shaking more than you realized when you brought them to unfasten his belt… it felt new, and exhilarating, and a little scary as well, to be with someone new after so long.  But you remembered when it was new with Emmett and it felt like this, exciting and weird and wonderful all at the same time.  But you'd known Emmett longer before anything happened between you— you'd only met Joel a few days ago.

Joel exhaled sharply through his nose when you reached into his boxers and wrapped your fingers around his erection.  It was so hot to the touch, you were worried your fingers felt cold to him, but he didn't seem to mind much.  You shuddered as you released it from the fabric, your mouth falling slack and your hand instinctively beginning to stroke it gently.

Joel's cock wasn't as long as Emmett's, but it was thicker, with a slight curve to one side.  Regardless of exactly what it looked like, you were just amazed to see and stroke another cock but Emmett's— it had been so long, and you hadn't been with all too many people before Emmett anyways.

"Show him what you can do, baby," Emmett encouraged in a low voice, and you nodded as you leaned down to capture Joel's cock between your lips. 

He hummed as you licked and sucked the tip, swirling your tongue over the head.  But he groaned aloud when you dipped lower and took as much as you could into your mouth, letting the tip of his cock bump into the back of your throat.

Then you set your pace, hollowing your cheeks and slowly moving up and down on his length.  Your jaw ached slightly already and you'd only just started.

You felt Joel's hand on the back of your head, not pushing you down but just guiding you in your movements.

"Mm," Joel praised with a grunt.  "Your girl's got a sweet fuckin' mouth, Emmett…"

"Yeah," he agreed, "and she loves using it— gets her so wet, feel it."

You whimpered slightly as Joel reached back over you and pulled up your dress, slipping a hand inside your panties.  His fingers curled through your lips, even toying with your swollen clit for a moment, and you moaned around the thick cock in your mouth.

"Damn," Joel chuckled, "she's soaked."

You broke away from Joel and turned around, looking at Emmett expectantly as you sat on the bed.  "Can I suck you too?  Please?"

Joel chuckled a little as Emmett nodded, letting you pull his pajama pants down as his hard cock bounced free.  It was nice to get back to what you knew for a moment, and you didn't hesitate at all to take hold of him and lick a long stripe up his shaft.

Joel took the opportunity while you were facing away from him to toss up your dress and pull your panties down; he purred at the way the fabric stuck to your pussy, peeling off slowly with all the wetness there.  "Fuckin' gorgeous," Joel groaned as he got a good look at it.  

Two thick fingers rubbed over your clit until your toes curled; putting your head down in Emmett's lap to suck him sort of forced your hips up, nearly at eye-level with Joel, and feeling him explore you so gently made you feel exposed in the best way.

He slid one finger into your hole, just one, and you clenched down on him.  "Damn," Joel groaned.  "I don't know how you find the energy to do anything but fill this pretty little pussy of hers, Emmett."

But Emmett wasn't really paying attention to him— he was watching you with heavy eyes and a slack mouth, petting your hair as you bobbed your head on his cock.

"Just like that," Emmett praised you quietly.  When you moaned around him in response, it turned into a muffled cry as Joel suddenly took his finger out of you and replaced it with his tongue.  His hands held your ass and kept you spread wide for him, burying his face in your pussy and tasting everything his tongue could reach… which was a lot.  Your whole body quivered when he licked a long stripe up from the base of your clit all the way up, higher and higher, even running over that hole as you shuddered.  

Your moans vibrated through Emmett's cock and his hand in your hair tightened into a fist and tugged on you a bit.  "Fuck," Joel moaned against your soaking folds, "tastes even better than it looks."

"Feels even better than it tastes," Emmett promised with a smile, though he snarled as he pulled your head off of him by your hair and guided you into a rough, dominating kiss.  He all but threw you back towards Joel, and you were sort of dazed and moving on instinct as Joel turned you around to face him.

But as you leaned down to suck Joel's cock again, he stopped you with a hand around your neck.  "Taste yourself first," he ordered before he kissed you, diving his tongue right into your open mouth as you whined at the tangy flavor of your arousal coating his lips.  

He pulled you back from the kiss with a growl, holding your hair and examining your face— you must have looked fucked out already, panting through your mouth and looking at him as you waited for your next instruction.

“Was she always this desperate?” Joel asked Emmett, though he was still looking at you. “Or did you train her?”

“A little of column A, a little of column B,” Emmett replied with a light chuckle.

He shoved your head back down into his lap, guiding his cock to your waiting lips and groaning when you swallowed it down.  “Good fucking girl,” he praised.  “So fuckin’ dirty— damn, that tongue…”

You gagged harder on Joel’s cock when you felt Emmett toying with your clit, teasing you with slow and delicate circles that made your toes curl.  “Wanna fuck her?” Emmett asked Joel simply; your hole pulsed in anticipation.  The way they talked over you, like you weren’t even there, was sort of irritating: but it made you so desperate, and you couldn’t even figure out why.

Joel just laughed.  “Are you kidding?” he wondered.

It was Emmett’s hand that pulled you off of Joel’s cock, but Joel grabbed your neck— not too tightly, just enough to make you let a whimper out of your open mouth— and flared his nostrils as he stared closely at your face.

“Get on your hands and knees for me,” he ordered firmly, and you nodded right away.  They both let you go and you took the position, feeling a little shy again suddenly— like you had any right to be shy now.  You faced Emmett, your hands on either side of his lap as he sat up on the bed, and he reached up to hold your face as you heard Joel get up and kneel behind you.

He teased you by running the head through your folds a few times, your lip catching between your teeth as the tip bumped against your swollen clit.  Emmett studied your face closely, watching your mouth go slack and your brows knit together as Joel pushed just barely inside you.

And then you cried out, far too loud, because he shoved the rest of the way in at once.  "Shit," Joel hissed, "fuckin' tight little thing.  Fuck."

You could feel his gaze on your hole, no doubt watching himself split you open so wide, when his hands spread your ass open again for a better view.

“Prettiest fuckin’ pussy,” Joel awarded it with a sigh.  “Fuck, feel how good you fuckin’ take that?  Feel how easy this big cock slides right into ya?  Such a sweet little girl…”

Easy was one way to describe it— and yes, you were wet enough that he hardly had any resistance— but it felt like too much to really be easy.  You fluttered your eyes open, not even noticing that you’d shut them, and found Emmett’s gaze still on you.  How was it possible that he was looking at you with so much pride in his eyes?  You bit your lip and returned his stare, whimpering each time Joel thrusted roughly into you.  

"How's it feel, baby?" Emmett asked you as he gently stroked your cheek.

You choked a little, not sure you could find the words for it.  "Different," you managed to blurt out, and both men chuckled a little.

"Yeah, bet it is different," Joel agreed, "don't think I'm gonna be as sweet with'ya as your old man here usually is."

Well, fair enough: Joel wasn't in love with you, so why should he treat you the same?  Actually, your thighs shook a little as you thought about that… Joel just wanted to use you, fuck you like a toy and toss you back to Emmett when he was done.  It should've been demeaning, but it made your back arch a little deeper.

"Yeah, fuck," Joel praised, "she likes that.  Wants me to fuck her harder, I can tell."

“Then do it,” Emmett instructed him.

Joel gripped your hips tightly and slammed into you, making you choke on your own cry.  “F-fuck—” you stammered, suddenly gripping Emmett’s shoulders for stability.

“God,” Joel choked behind you; you could feel the bandage you’d given him as his hands held onto your hips, keeping you steady so he could pump into you as hard and fast as he liked.

You whined and dropped your head on Emmett’s shoulder, hearing him gently soothe you as each thrust rocked you forward into him.  “Takin’ it so well,” he praised softly, “that’s my girl…”

Emmett started to push your dress down your arms and chest, exposing your tits for his big hands to rub slowly; Joel reached around and felt them too— and four hands on you felt like more than you could keep track of.  A hand running up your thighs, squeezing your ass, teasing your tits, even wrapping around your throat and threatening to tighten… you were overwhelmed, in the best way.

"God, she's so perfect," Joel breathed.  "Can't believe you let me borrow her."

"Just don't come inside her," Emmett instructed, "that's just for me."

"Fuck, I don't mind," Joel grunted, "think I'll like painting that pretty face…"

“She swallows, too,” Emmett smiled, “if you like that.”

“Like it?  Fuck,” Joel laughed, “that’s fucking hot.”

“E-Emmett,” you whimpered in protest, “I never… I’ve never done that for anybody but you…”

“Well, it’s not so different for anybody else,” Emmett assured you with a chuckle.  “You’ll swallow his come if I tell you to, won’tcha?”

You bit your lip and nodded.

“Good girl.”

That was all you really wanted— to be good for him.  And you felt your chest fill with pride knowing he was happy with you now, even if you’d never expected this to make him happy.  He could be very protective of you, and you assumed he would never want another man to lay a hand on you— he’d killed men for less, actually.  But you realized that there was a massive difference: those men had threatened to hurt you, had scared you, had tried to take you from him.  Joel was the first man other than Emmett that you’d trusted, let alone shown any interest in.  Emmett was too busy fighting off creeps to mention that he didn’t actually mind good guys getting a chance with you, apparently.

Joel kneaded a handful of your ass roughly, and you whimpered when you felt one of his fingertips start to rub gently against your other hole.  “What about this hole?” he asked with a groan.  “This just for you, too?”

Emmett grinned a bit.  “She’s only done that a few times… what do you think, baby, wanna let Joel try your ass?”

It was already quite an ordeal to get Emmett to fit in there, and you whined just imagining Joel trying to fit that thick cock in your ass— “Oh my god, she just got so fucking wet,” Joel noticed.  Clearly, imagining it was having some effect on you.  “Think she wants it— don’t ya, sweet girl?”

Though your cheeks burned with shame, you nodded, and both men chuckled darkly.  “Warm her up first,” Emmett suggested.

“Of course,” Joel agreed, “wouldn’t wanna break your toy.”

You moaned just from him saying that, before he’d even started to gently press his finger inside you.  He spit right down onto it as he slid the digit inside, making you clench around him— both ways.  He hummed lowly, twisting and curling the finger into you, still fucking your pussy (though slower than before, thank god).

You gasped as a second finger carefully slid in, almost pushing you too far and making you wince slightly— but Emmett soothed you and kissed the side of your face, rubbing your back to help keep you relaxed.  “You can take it,” Emmett promised, “be my good girl, okay?  Let him get you ready.”

You nodded and clung tighter to Emmett, moaning when Joel twisted his fingers around and even curled them a bit inside you.  “Not too much, is it?” Joel wondered when you whined loudly.

“No, she’s tougher than she looks,” Emmett answered— you sort of thought that question was for you, but you were too desperate to answer properly anyways.

Joel could pump those fingers in and out of you now, picking up the pace slightly to match the way he thrust his cock into your cunt, but when he tried to spread them a little wider he didn’t have much luck.  “Still too tight, I think,” Joel noticed with a laugh.  “Y’sure she can get stretched out enough for it?”

“Yeah,” Emmett promised, “I can help, hold on—”

He brought two fingers to your open mouth; you sucked on them instinctively, shutting your eyes and moving your head forward to swallow them as deep as you could.  What Joel said before suddenly made sense— he really did have you trained.

You bobbed and suckled on Emmett’s long fingers, hearing him whisper his praises to you before he suddenly pulled them out— your open mouth chased after them for a second, and Joel seemed to notice with a small, condescending laugh— and reached over your back, pushing the slick fingers into your hole right beside Joel’s.

“Fuck!” you yelped at the feeling, legs shaking as you realized you’d never been this full: a cock and four fingers, it was more than you’d ever imagined.

Joel groaned a little, picking up the pace of his thrusts into your pussy again, and you did your best to breathe steady as those fingers pumped in and out of you.  You couldn’t deny the way it turned you on— none of you could, you could hear it as Joel fucked you slowly.  “She’s fuckin’ dripping, Emmett,” Joel noticed with a sigh, “she really likes this little ass played with, huh?”

Emmett laughed and nodded in agreement.  “She likes doing what she’s told,” he clarified.

“Such a good little slut,” Joel praised, and you whimpered before Emmett kissed you again.

They continued that way until you worried you’d start begging for a cock in your ass if they made you wait anymore— thankfully, they didn’t make you embarrass yourself like that, Emmett felt with his fingers and saw in your eyes that you were ready.  Pulling his fingers out of you, he glanced at Joel behind you: “Go ahead,” he offered simply.

Joel’s fingers left your ass, too, and you felt empty there but different— when his cock slipped from your cunt, you gasped a little at having nothing inside you for the first time in a while, and you glanced back at him.  “Yeah,” Joel encouraged, “keep lookin’ back at me while I put my cock in your ass.”

You felt a little awkward doing that, but you did it anyways, biting your lip as he met your gaze and lined up his thick head with your stretched ass.  He was still soaked from being in your pussy, and your ass was pretty much dripping with spit now, so he didn’t have too much trouble pushing into your puckered hole— but it was still tight, and you still winced (but kept your eyes on him, of course).

Even with all that prep, you shuddered and whined as Joel slowly slid into your ass— he savored every inch, licking his lips and groaning as he stretched you wider and wider.  He seemed to just get thicker, even at the very base of him, and your eyes rolled back when he was seated in you all the way.  And then he punched his hips just that little bit more, apparently intent on burying himself in you as far as humanly possible; you gasped and hugged Emmett tighter, turning your head towards him again but shutting your eyes tight from the sting of the stretch.  

“God fucking damn,” Joel moaned, digging his fingers into the skin of your hips, clearly trying to control himself.  “Fuck, Emmett, you’ve really got yourself such a perfect little fucktoy— where’d you find her?”

Emmett smiled wide, stroking your hair and looking at your face— painted with filthy pleasure— tenderly.  “She found me,” he answered.  “Still got no fuckin’ idea how I got so lucky.”

Joel started to move, making you tighten your hands into weak fists, and set a careful pace that gave you some time to adjust… even if not quite as much as you would’ve wanted.

A sudden, sharp thrust nearly knocked you forward— thankfully Emmett was there to catch you— and you moaned loudly.  Emmett laid down slightly, letting you lay on top of him and hide your face in his chest.  “That’s my girl,” he praised quietly.

As Joel’s movements sped up a little more, he sighed, seeming to find a comfortable pace (for him, at least) as you forced yourself not to tense up: it didn’t hurt, but it was certainly an intense feeling, especially when you felt Joel’s heavy balls slap against your dripping pussy.

"This'll be better than coming on your face," Joel grinned.  "Filling up this tight ass, fuck, you're so dirty, baby…"

You felt someone move your hips down a bit, changing the angle of it all, but you were too lost in it to even know who it was.  Emmett kissed your neck, teeth teasing your pulse, and you whined— you would beg him to bite you and leave a mark that everyone could see, if you could speak at all right now.

Your legs ended up straddling Emmett’s lap, and you gasped when you felt his cock press against your pussy— you'd been too distracted to even notice him taking it out— and he cooed at you sweetly.  "You can take both, right?" he asked quietly.  "You've always got room for me, don't you?"

Though you were still intimidated by the idea, you nodded as you bit your lip.

"That's my girl," Emmett praised, grabbing your hips and pulling you down onto his cock.

You almost screamed at the feeling of being so full, digging your fingers into Emmett’s shoulders.  He looked up at you with eager eyes, watching you struggle to take them both— but you eventually relaxed enough to sink down and fit them both to the hilt.

“Good fucking girl,” Joel praised with a groan, holding on tight to your hips as he started to move again slowly— as for Emmett, his hands moved from your waist to your head to guide you into a sloppy, needy kiss.

Your moans were loud yet weak, your shaky hands clutching at Emmett desperately as they both pumped into you.  Joel seemed almost overwhelmed by it, too, leaning down over you, growling and biting at your neck and shoulder. 

“F-fuck, dunno how long I can last like this,” Joel admitted, “so fucking tight…”

You jumped slightly when one of Joel's rough hands reached around your hips and slid down to your clit, rubbing at the bud until you jerked back from the sudden intense sensation.

"Just wanna feel you come first, princess," he explained with a purr.

“A-ah, fuck,” you whimpered, shaking all over as you tried to process all that you were feeling.  They moved you around how they wanted you, and at some point Emmett was sitting up and holding you in his lap while Joel kept thrusting into your ass from behind while holding your shoulder— how were you supposed to keep track of all the anatomy of this, while you had two big cocks stretching you open and Joel’s rough, experienced fingers on your clit.

Emmett moaned against your skin as he kept sucking on your neck, meanwhile Joel was speaking gruffly by your ear, sending chills up your spine.  “Can you come, princess?” he asked darkly.  “‘Round both our cocks?”

“Yes,” you admitted in a gasp, “fuck— Emmett, can I come?”

He smiled against your neck; “Of course, babydoll,” he breathed.  “Let’s show Joel how much you love bein’ fucked like a whore.”

You wrapped your arms around Emmett’s neck, dropping your head limply back on Joel’s shoulder as the feeling washed over you: you tightened up everywhere, inside and out, and they both groaned as they watched you give in to ecstasy.  You weren’t even sure whose hands were where anymore, but they were everywhere, and even through your exhaustion you felt desperation guide your hips to move on their own— chasing an even higher pleasure.

“Fuck,” Joel grunted as he watched you go, his own thrusts getting faster and rougher.  “Fuck, that’s so cute.”

You didn’t expect him to describe you like that in a time like this, and you whimpered as your walls flexed again.  You could tell Joel was getting a little desperate himself, that bandaged hand giving your clit a break and holding your hip tightly instead.  “Come in her ass, Joel,” Emmett ordered with a sigh, staring at your face with heavy eyes, “she’s ready.”

He did it pretty much instantly, groaning lowly and tossing his head back with a sharp breath in through his teeth; you felt him flexing, and it stretched your tighter hole even just that much more.  You whined softly at the feeling, hearing distantly little praises from Emmett, and finally Joel finished and pulled out of you with a little hiss.

It was less of a relief than you expected— your ass was still stretched and sore, and Emmett was still so deep inside you… and then, a moment later, you felt that hot trickle out of your used hole.  You felt filthy with Joel’s come running out of you like that, tickling your inner thigh as it dribbled down— but the way Emmett was looking at you seemed to remove any sense of shame you had left.

"God, look how beautiful you are," Emmett grunted as he guided you to move faster in his lap, "men just can't help it with you, can they?  Bet every guy in this town wants you, bet they're all thinking about having you to themselves— but you're mine, huh?  My girl?"

"Yes," you sobbed, "yes, I'm yours— all yours, Emmett, always—"

"Gonna show Joel whose girl you are," Emmett promised with a growl.  "Gonna get this pussy nice and full how you like it."

"Yes," you said again, a needy groan this time— the tip of his cock was hitting so deep inside you that you could hardly breathe, yet you only wanted more.  "Yes, please, please— come in me, daddy."

"Damn," Joel laughed, "she is dirty."

Emmett grinned.  "Only gets that way when she's real desperate.  Needs her daddy's come so bad…"

“Please,” you begged shakily, feeling him pull you closer and start to buck his hips up into you faster; he was breathing roughly, quickly, and you knew that he was getting close, but he had a habit of holding back until he absolutely couldn’t take it anymore just so he could watch you like this for as long as possible.  

Apparently unsatisfied with the speed and control he could reach with you on top of him, Emmett pushed you back down onto the bed, holding your legs and fucking you hard and fast— you cried out, arching your back as his hands slid up to hold your waist.

You gasped loudly when Joel unexpectedly leaned down and sucked on one of your tits; your back arched even further towards it, and you heard him moan against your skin as his tongue circled the hardened bud.  Emmett's mouth suddenly found the other one, without his pace slowing down at all, and you could've screamed right then.  You hadn't realized how sensitive they would be, and never in your life had you had both sucked on at once— it was so overwhelming, it was making jolts of white hot pleasure burst inside you, and fuck Emmett’s cock was filling you just right, hitting that perfect spot—

"I'm coming," you sobbed, "f-fuck, daddy, I'm coming—"

Emmett groaned loudly, his mouth falling slack around your breast as hot breaths fanned your skin.  You felt him starting to flex inside you, and you moaned louder knowing he was filling you so deep.  His grunts were in time with his deep, hard thrusts into you, and you went numb and tingly all over as the orgasm seemed to drain everything out of you.

Finally, he slowed to a stop, moving up to kiss you slow and sweet— both of you breathing heavily against each other, your shaky fingers reaching up to hold his face and run through his hair.

He broke away and sat up with a sigh; you wanted to kiss him longer, but you were too exhausted to even complain, simply relaxing against the bed and almost wincing when he pulled out of your sore cunt.

Emmett sat back and tugged your limp form up a bit, cradling you as he held your back to his chest.  “Oh, look at that,” he whispered just beside your ear, reaching down to rub your thigh, “all’a my come running out of you… both holes nice and full just how you need… so fuckin’ pretty, baby, my pretty little girl…”

You just whimpered sleepily, soaking in the warmth of Emmett’s embrace.

"Why don't you taste her now, Joel?" Emmett suddenly offered him with a smirk.  

Before you could process that idea, Emmett was holding your legs open while Joel dived down between them.  You whimpered as Joel licked up through your folds, your whole body getting hot at the thought of Joel tasting you and Emmett.  He really didn't mind doing that with another man's come?  The idea that he might just be that insatiable for you…

He suddenly latched on to your clit and sucked hard, making you yelp and buck your hips— but Joel and Emmett were both holding onto you tight, keeping you steady as your body shook uncontrollably.

"Oh, that's it's," Emmett praised, "let him taste you, baby— let Joel lick that pretty pussy, okay?"

"F-fuck— s'really sensitive—" you choked out.

Emmett held you tighter, both hands groping your breasts and his fingertips gently toying with your nipples.  “Bein’ so good for me,” he praised in a low, rough voice.  “So fuckin’ pretty when you’re getting your pussy ate, babydoll— never get to appreciate it ‘cause I’m too busy doin’ it.  But you look so fuckin’ cute like this…”

Your back arched, pushing your shoulders against Emmett's chest as he held you, and he trailed gentle kisses along your shoulder and up your neck. 

"Gonna come, huh?" he noticed, pinching your nipples harder until you whined.  "It's okay, baby, let Joel make you come.  Just one more and you can rest…"

“C-can’t,” you choked, “can’t come anymore—”

“Shh, you can,” Emmett promised.  “You can show Joel how good you are for me, huh?  You can come when I tell you to.”

“Fuck,” you sobbed, grabbing onto Emmett’s hand tightly— though your other hand gripped a handful of Joel’s salt-and-pepper hair, making him look up at you with those dark brown eyes…

“Mhm, you can do it,” Emmett continued, squeezing your hand in encouragement.  “Put your tongue inside her, Joel.”

You shuddered and quaked when Joel obeyed, the most filthy sounds filling the room while Joel lapped and sucked at your leaking pussy.  Emmett’s hand— the one you weren’t holding onto for dear life— groped your tits roughly, pinching your nipples hard enough to make you buck your hips against Joel’s face, but Joel still had that iron-tight grip on your hips to keep you where he needed you.

Joel was moaning lowly against your skin, focusing his tongue attention back on your clit— from teasing little circles around it to hard, rough licks right over it.  This time, when he went back to sucking on the nub harder than ever, you knew you couldn’t hold it back anymore.  “Fuck, Joel!” you screamed, making him groan darkly again.  “I’m gonna come!”

Emmett dragged his teeth over the shell of your ear, laughing softly yet wickedly.  “You’re sayin’ his name now?” he noticed.  “You’re not coming for him, baby, you’re coming for me.  Because I told you to.  Yes?”

“Yes, yes,” you promised, chanting it mindlessly.  “Yours, Emmett— fuck, I’m yours, you know I am.  Only yours.”

His hand moved from your breast to your face, turning it far enough to look at him— those eyes were boring into you, and you whimpered with your lip between your teeth as you hoped you hadn’t disappointed him.  “Say it again,” he demanded.

“Yours,” you repeated as you looked into his eyes— even though your imminent orgasm made it harder and harder to keep your eyes open.  “I’m yours, daddy.”

He grabbed your jaw and kissed you hard, his tongue keeping your mouth wide open; he swallowed every moan as you came, moaning himself like he could taste your pleasure in the kiss, holding your hand tighter than ever. 

Joel kept eating you out even when your whole body was shaking, even when your weak little hand was trying to push his head away— he only stopped when Emmett’s hand joined yours, just one touch and Joel lifted his head and sighed.

Emmett guided your hand back up to his face, and you held it (with what little strength you had) as you kept kissing him… though the kiss changed, it went from rough and hungry to soft and slow and gentle.

He stopped kissing you just enough to speak, his thumb petting your cheek so you would open your eyes.  “You did so good for me, babydoll,” he cooed under his breath.

Knowing you had finally done everything he wanted, you melted limply into Emmett’s arms, who chuckled a little at your exhaustion.  

“Looks like you really wore her out, Miller.”

“You did, too,” Joel returned.  “Besides, at that age, I’m guessin’ she’ll be raring to go again by the end of the hour.”

Emmett snorted.  “I can get her begging in five minutes,” he countered.

“Please— m’too tired,” you whimpered, cuddling up tighter against Emmett— but his hand was already snaking up your thigh, teasing further between your legs.

“Too tired, huh?” he taunted quietly, petting closer to your sore pussy until your legs spread naturally to let him touch where he wanted.  “Good girl.”

Two fingers delicately teased you, circling around your clit but never quit reaching it— until you were rocking your hips up to try to find some attention in the right spot.

When he did touch your clit, ever so gently, you shivered and mumbled his name; your eyes still closed, you hid your face in his neck and began to shamelessly rock against his fingers.  He teased your opening, making it apparent how wet you still were, but never dipped inside no matter how hard you tried to tempt him to.

“Please,” you whispered, too desperate to feel guilty for it at all, “Emmett, I need—”

“Jesus,” Joel laughed, “didn’t take long at all, did it?”

“Nope,” Emmett agreed.

“So fuckin’ needy,” Joel groaned.

“Yep,” Emmett responded simply again.  “Tell us what you need, babydoll…”

“I…I need…” you mumbled, face getting warm.  “Need to be full…”

“With what?” Joel pressed.

“Um…” you stalled, nervous to admit it but knowing they wouldn’t rest until you did.  “With a… a cock.”

Emmett snorted.  “Any cock?” he wondered.

“W-well, I figured one of you two—”

They both laughed a little, and you felt silly but your walls tightened against themselves.  “We’re not young like you, sweetpea— it’s not that easy,” Joel explained.  “Gonna need a little more patience…”

“But— but you got me all worked up!” you whined.  “You did that on purpose…”

“Yeah,” Emmett admitted with a purr, “yeah, baby, I did that on purpose.”

You pouted a bit.  “You’re mean sometimes…”

“Mhm,” he agreed with a soft laugh, raising an eyebrow as he looked at Joel.  “How long will it take you to get hard again?”

“Not that long,” Joel answered, “if she puts that mouth to good use.”

Emmett helped you sit up, patting your back encouragingly.  “Go ahead, baby, you know what to do…”

As you crawled towards where Joel knelt on the bed, still totally dazed and exhausted, you realized that tonight was far from over— and that tonight may not be all that Emmett had in store for you.

[winterzsurprise]

Playing with fire || Miguel O'hara

Pairing: Miguel O'hara x f!reader

Summary: After risking your life to save one spider, Miguel had enough and decided it was time to discipline you.

Tags: SMUT, NOT BETA READ, face slapping (M&F), brat! reader, spanking, very brief blowjob, gagging, Miguel has a big dick, overstimulation (?), multiple orgasm denial, rough sex, pussy slapping, unprotected sex, pain kink, some aftercare at the end.

Words: 2.8k

idk how Tumblr works as well but user @/octobersoot said something about reader being a brat to Miguel and I had to revamp this one idea lol. I hope this counts as reader being a brat.

Spanish speakers, do correct me with the last one in the translation, thank you in advance :DD

cariño - honey || mi vida - my life || coño - fuck (literally means cunt but google said it can also be used as like 'fuck!' or 'shit!' in English)

"NO DON'T!"

When you ripped yourself from Miguel's hands and jumped down into the black hole to catch the Spider-Man that fell into it, you had two thoughts.

If you die, Miguel would pull you from hell to kill you.

If you lived, Miguel would make sure you'd regret it.

As the void approaches, you latched onto one falling debris and leaped out to get closer to the guy whose wrist’s flicked to release some webs for you to catch on but you ignored it. You’ve seen how using webs to catch someone goes and it didn’t end well, you’re not about to make the same mistakes.

Reaching out to grab the falling Peter's hand, you webbed to the nearest stable item you could before feeling Miguel’s webs wrap around your waist. The momentary fear and adrenaline from saving the spider drained out of your skin almost immediately. Hearing the angry man barking orders above you, you prayed early for your soul.

You're not religious but you'd certainly need a diety's kind soul to take pity on you today once you’re left behind doors with Miguel alone.

"AY COÑO, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! DID YOU GET YOUR HEAD HIT SOMEWHERE??"

You grunted, tugging President Spidey with you. "Just pull us up!"

"I should let go of you for being so stupid!"

"Then fucking do it coward!"

Despite his comments, it took one tug from Miguel to pull you and President Spider-Man to a safe spot on a building they were resting at to watch the consequences of altering canon events. The anger radiating out of his body would be enough to trigger your senses, his glare searing a hole through your skull.

Looking up sheepishly, Miguel’s face was contorted into subdued rage. The absolute fury lashing in his dark red eyes made your heart drop to the soles of your feet.

You're absolutely fucked and you don't know if you regret it or not.

On one hand, he's going to murder you and split your body into pieces to feed the kraken version of Doc Ock. But on the other, he's unfathomably hot when he's glaring through your flesh and soul.

How could he be so alluring while plotting your murder? You have no idea.

"We're going to have a talk." His darkened voice made your spine tingle, you nod and turned to run towards Hobi but the firm hand on your shoulder halts you. "Don't move, I'll break your knees if you do."

President Spider-Man shrunk beside you, more intimidated by the threat directed towards you than you do. 

"Is that a threat, boss?"

"No cariño, it's a promise."

Leaping down to greet the quarantine squad, he left the two of you on the rooftops. President Spidey turned to you, worried to the nines for your soul.

"D-do you need to universe hop? You're free to hide at mine, since it's my fault you're gonna get grinded later."

You laughed, slapping him in the back to which he wheezed at. "Don't worry, he won't bite."

•=•=•=•=•=•

Despite your shit attempt of comforting President Spider-Man, he didn't leave your side, ready to jump in front of you if Miguel happens to snap in the middle of the journey back to HQ. Hobie however, attempted to pry him off of your side with an amused smile.

“Have you realized how fucked you are?”

President Spidey hushed him, to which the man raised an eyebrow at. “Don’t say that.”

When you all entered the office, Miguel halted and you all followed. There’s a buzz in the back of your head and a glance at the nervous wreck beside you tells you that he felt it too.

"Everyone except my wife, leave."

President Spidey almost spoke up, probably to request to stay next to you until Hobie swung his arms around his neck and pulled him out, but not before saluting to you.

"I'll burn the ministry in your honor."

His voice echoed in the dimly lit room until the hatch closed shut, isolating you and your husband from the outside world until further notice. You watch as a yellow holographic lady materializes over his shoulder, Layla whose gaze immediately met yours.

"Layla, make sure no one tries to enter my office until I say so. Go hang out with Spiderbyte in the meantime."

"Don't break the poor girl, she didn't do—"

"I don't want to hear it. Leave." 

Sparing you a pitiful smile, she dispersed into the air. With no hatch to escape to, nor any obstacles to run behind, you were left standing a few footsteps away from the man.

"I thought we had an agreement to keep ourselves safe during missions?"

There was a simmering anger hidden behind his words, tone almost dark and bitten back.

"I was safe, you just need to place a little faith on—"

"The last time I did that, the people I cared about died." 

You wanted to defend yourself, bring up being safer since you're Spider-Man and all that but you knew it wouldn't end well. Seeing the seething anger radiating off of him, that's the best course of action.

Hanging your head down with a sigh. "Alright, I'm sorry."

"Sorry's not gonna cut it this time, cariño. I think I have to drill it into you."

Your brain clicks, realizing what he said and you frown. "Fucking is not gonna help us right now, Miguel!"

"Well I don't see you complaining every time it happens, do I? If I recall, you've begged, cried and screamed my name again and—"

Your hand moved faster than your brain as you slapped the man. You gasped, bringing both hands up to your mouth as you watched him go silent.

"I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—"

"No no no, I see how it is."

You waited for his next move with bated breath, goosebumps prickling your skin. You debated on taking a few steps back but before you could, he surged with his hands grabbing your neck and slamming you on the wall, stealing the breath from your lungs and you gasped.

“You know the words, mi vida?”

You curled your eyebrows at him. Does he mean your safeword?

“F-fucking get your hands off of me, let's talk."

The light slap on your cheeks shocked you, mouth falling ajar at the action. You couldn’t deny the fact that the sting left by his hand has stirred your desires awake, nor can you even dare to mention how breathless—figuratively and literally—he left you. 

Miguel observed your eyes, cautious of any hurt flashing in them before putting more pressure on the side of your throat and you greedily inhaled more air as much as you could. Dark spots crawl from the side of your vision and fear starts to claw at your heart.

Yet the uncomfortable slickness and ache between your thighs says otherwise.

"Your words."

"I'm not using them!"

The grin curling his lips sent shivers down your spine, doom looming over you.

"Good."

Before you could say anything, he released your throat and you fell to the floor, inhaling greedily for air as your vision slowly repairs itself.

"I've been wanting to tame that mouth of yours since earlier."

You coughed, peering up at him through your eyelashes. "R-really? I thought you liked that about me?"

"Oh really? I thought I said I only liked your mouth, not your voice."

Grabbing your jaw, he forced you to look up before pushing two of his fingers through your lips, pressing down on your tongue as his suit disintegrated to reveal his formal clothes. Miguel's hand threads through your hair, caressing the back of your head before tugging. With a wicked grin, he continued.

"Strip."

It was a command, not a request. The low timbre of his voice sends jolts of pleasure down your spine. Following his heeds like a hypnotized woman, you made quick work of your clothes, tossing them to the side and unshackling your web shooters.

Reaching up, you unbuttoned his pants and took care of his fly before shrugging the clothing down his thighs. The tent in his boxers sent shivers down your spine, a promise of pleasure behind its confines.

Pulling it down, his girth revealed itself to you and your tongue grew heavy inside your mouth, a few dribbles of pre-cum on the tip and the prominent veins giving it an illusion of being larger than it already is. Miguel pulled you closer making you kiss the base of his dick.

"What a sinful face you have, cariño. I'm starting to like this more."

He guided his length to your mouth, smearing his clear arousal on the plush of your lips making you open up only for his hand to come down harshly against your cheeks once more.

The sharp sting immediately melts into hot arousal pooling down your thighs.

"Do you really think you deserve me, mi cielo? After speaking back to me earlier?"

"I want it, please?"

He scoffed. "'Want' it? Do you think you own me? That's funny."

His webs embraced you and he pulled, making you stumble to the floor with a yelp. Being bound tightly by Miguel who towered over you with sadistic glee and glowering eyes, made you feel small all over.

Yet the sick bastard at the back of your head smiled an ugly grin.

"How about we try it again? Maybe if you ask nicely, I'll give you what you wanted."

He pulled you back to a standing position, his hand immediately locking onto your jaw, forcing your eyes to meet his dilated and darkened red pairs that seemed to tempt you to drown yourself in them.

Your eyes fell to the hand pumping himself leisurely and groaned.

"Please? Darling, I want to taste you."

"Do you deserve it?"

"I'm more of an action type of person than a talker."

He said nothing, watching as you fall back to your knees before tapping the head of his cock onto your lips. Once your mouth opened, his hand on your jaw crawled to the back of your head and pushed.

The sudden and wide intrusion down your throat got you gagging yet Miguel only found pleasure from the throb of your muscles constricting around him. 

You remind yourself to breathe through your nose, trying to force yourself through it but your throat complains and you knew you couldn't take it. Slapping his thighs thrice, he pulled away immediately, clicking his tongue while you coughed and gasped for air.

"Bold talk. I knew your mouth wasn't fit for speaking at all. Such a shame it can't do anything at all."

Still focused on the throb in your throat, you weren't able to react fast enough when he pulled you flush to his chest by the web and carried you to the platform where a cushioned chair awaits.

He sat and you ended up on his lap with both his calloused hands grounding you by the shoulder and hips. Miguel's burning eyes roamed the expanse of your chest, one hand rising to trace his gaze with his fingertips and pinching the stiffened peaks of your mounds making you moan from the slightest touch.

"Maybe your pussy could do a better job."

The hand soon crept around your neck with his eyes where it pressed against its sides once more.

It was maddening how you could feel his hardness pressing against your folds yet unable to do much about it. The firm hand on your hips prevents you from grinding down on him. He does reach down to your clit, palming your engorged bead but before you could revel in it, he pulled away.

"Did those slaps get you this wet baby? Didn't know you're such a slut."

Your cheeks lights up and you slapped his cheek lightly for the name he called you, only for Miguel to return it harder.

"You don't get to slap me, slut. The only thing you're for is this pussy."

A wet slap resonated in the room and you cried, thighs closing from the impact on your heat, embarrassment burning your body before shame crawled up your throat as you realized his demeaning behavior seems to only goad you further.

He didn't give you a chance to prepare when he pushed his cockhead into you. Tears brimmed in your eyes as the burn of the stretch stung your veins and stirred your desire further. Every inch inserted tore you apart, the sensation a mixture of heaven and hell, it was delicious as it was painful.

Seeing the struggle in your face, Miguel reached down to roll your clit in slow circles, whispering affirmations into your ears. The moment he sensed your accommodation to his girth did he pull out till his head remained, angling his hips before inserting himself back again to hit the spongy spot on your walls.

You whimpered and moaned in his shoulder as his pace grew with a manic fervor. The pain slowly transitioned into pleasure with the frequency of his thrusts, your nails dug into his shoulder as he pushed himself deeper and deeper into you, narrowly missing your uterus as he pistoned into you.

Mind whirled in ecstasy and lightness brought by his fingers on your throat, you only grabbed onto him for dear life as he quickly dragged you to the edge. 

Feeling the familiar pulse and tightness of your walls around him, Miguel suddenly pulled away and you cried.

"Why did you pull away?"

His hand came down with a loud crack! as it collides with the globes of your ass in quick successions. Your hips twists as you clenched desperately on air. Desire clawed at your throat and you whimpered, body already missing the rush of pleasure he brought with every push.

“Do you think you deserve it, mi vida?”

You nodded and he chuckled darkly. “I don’t think you do.”

Despite his words, Miguel entered you once more, picking up his previous pace. Your previous orgasms arose, walls clamping down onto him, desperate for the release you craved so deeply. There's a wet sound echoing in the room along and you flushed deeper yet far too desperate for euphoria to care. 

His deft fingers found your clit with experienced accuracy and slapped it with every thrust of his hips. 

You shouldn't be enjoying every bit of pain yet here you were, moaning and wriggling your hips for more stimulation like a mad woman.

"My cariño's such a slut taking all of this pain like the whore she is. Bet you liked that spider guy huh? Jumping off like a fool to save a dick, so pathetic."

Miguel pulled away and you cried, the itch of dissatisfaction searing through your body. You clawed at his back as if the pain could threaten him, in response, Miguel swats your rear once more.

"A little slut like you doesn't deserve to cum. After that stupid stunt earlier? Do you think you deserve to come?"

"Yes yes yes."

He slapped you across the face but you could care less, whining.

"Stop being a dick and give it to me, please!"

Clicking his tongue. "Such a desperate slut, I'd slap you for that, but I'm feeling a bit generous."

It was his fingers that attacked you this time, deftly rubbing your clit. Your hips stuttered up to follow his hand.

“Might as well count how many, right?”

Your mind grows lighter as time bleeds against each other. His objections to your orgasms grew frequent as the intervals between your nirvana grew shorter, you have lost count of how many he has denied you and has long stopped doing so, body now laid motionlessly on top of his as you sobbed onto his shoulder from frustration.

Miguel didn't care, in fact, he reveled in your misery every time. 

His hips pistoned faster, tip almost always nudging your spot with every thrust as his lips caught yours in a weakened dance, there was a shift in the air and you knew he had finally relented on dragging it out. 

"Come for me, darling. I want it all, give it to me."

The pleasure that bursted in your veins wasn't like the others from before. The ecstasy woke every nerve ending in your body alight, limbs growing weightless from the shock of pleasure from your orgasm as electric shocks reverberated from your core and to the tip of your fingers.

Your thighs convulsed violently and you screamed, arousal squirting to drench his stomach. Miguel's arms curled around you protectively as you shivered, whispering hushed affirmations in your ears while the impact of a long-denied orgasm shattered you.

"You did so well for me, mi vida. I’m here, no more of that."

Miguel soaked in your every moans and sobs as he murmured something you couldn't catch, mind far too foggy to process.

You didn't even realize that he didn't came, focused solely on comforting you through your high.

His racing heartbeat matched the pace of the throb in your head, you could hear your breathing echo in your ears yet in the state of exhaustion, you found it calming, melodic even. Miguel’s fingers that gave and tore your pleasure away now caressed the back of your head, gently as if you’ll break apart.

You could make out his chapped lips pressing kisses onto your temple as exhaustion won over your body, eyes falling shut with the melodic rhythm of his heartbeat lulled you to sleep.

[oodlyenough]

alright i started trying to write my s2 thoughts and just this one element already got long as hell and it's maybe my hottest take and most #unpopular opinion based on skimming other reactions so. whatever. i'm quarantining it to its own post god help me.

but

Speaking as someone who loved him the most in s1, to be honest I don't think Viktor's story in s2 was particularly good. I feel like they got into the season, realized they were supposed to vaguely tie into League lore, sort of haphazardly gave him some word salad speeches about evolution and emotion, and called it a day. I thought his cult motivations, the influence (or not) of the hexcore, etc were all pretty underwritten.

But in particular I'm bothered by the speech Jayce gives about Viktor "wanting to cure what [he] thought were weaknesses" and the suggestion that Viktor was doing evil blood magic because he was insecure about his disabilities and felt lesser-than because of them. This is just straight up not true in season 1. He does blood magic in 1.2-1.3 because he is DYING. It's like everyone in the show and the fandom forgot he was terminally ill. Conflating the general feel-good "love your body as it is" messaging around disability with *terminal illness* is just ... What.... in the world...?

In season one we saw *other people* treat him as lesser bc he was disabled, while Viktor's introductory speech is "nobody ever believed in [...] a poor cripple from the undercity, [but] I believed in myself". No one in s2 ever acknowledging that he took risks with the hexcore because he didn't want to die at, like, age 30 OR that by the end of s1 he had done the "morally correct" thing of accepting his mortality only for Jayce (and later Singed lol) to ignore that and plug the hexcore into him against his will... Jayce doesn't even own up to that or apologize for his role in things lmao I mean, #classic Jayce, but what is happening here.

If they wanted Viktor to be the average Spiderman villain messing around with science to cure his disabilities and unleashing eldritch horrors in the process, they could've written that in season 1 very easily. And of course it's great that Jayce loves him as he is -- to be honest season 1 never gave me any reason to think otherwise, but it's nice for Viktor to hear it, sure. But they specifically made him terminally ill only to act like that never happened, or like terminal illness is an "imperfection" you can defeat with body positivity and self-love. It's so tonally weird. I've seen a lot of people who were very moved by Jayce's speech about loving him anyway, and I'm happy people found meaning in it, but I was jaw dropped. Viktor was never "broken", yes, but he was fucking dying, and there is a difference.

[ryuichirou]

I really love the lengthy analysis you wrote about Vil and Jamil in the past! Do you have anything similar to say about Riddle, if you haven't already? Or maybe about Riddle and Trey, if you're more comfortable with talking about relationships between characters.

Dear Anon, I am very happy you liked my analysis of these two! It’s been a while, I even forgot that I wrote it, so it’s insanely nice to hear that someone still reads these posts and enjoys them. As you might have already noticed (it seems to be my mission to keep repeating it to make sure no one ever forgets about it), I am not as speedy with my replies as I used to be, so this reply is long overdue. But I always have stuff to say about these boys, and Riddle very interesting and very dear to me as the boy who introduced us to how broken these boys are and how interestingly TWST plays with the theme of trauma.

We don’t post about him very often, but I like Riddle a lot. I think out of all of the housewardens he has the biggest vibe of a broken kid hidden behind his strong facade. I guess this is my way of saying that Riddle is the most childish out of all of them lol It shows not only in his tantrums (Ace compared him to a baby for a reason), but also in how obviously excited he gets when he sees anything that is fun; it’s like his inner kid reacts before Riddle composes himself and acts like he isn’t interested. We’ve seen a bunch of moments like this, I think. In a way, all of the overblot boys didn’t get to live through their childhood in a “normal” way, but Riddle expresses it in a very obvious way.

But it’s not only about cakes and games: Riddle is very immature emotionally too, and it’s hard to blame him for that, because let’s be honest: this is the first time Riddle deals with people. Isolation is a difficult thing to come back from, and if you shove a heavily sheltered boy into an high school/college and put him in a position of housewarden, of course he’s going to act like a little dictator: this is the only way to assert authority he’s ever seen. And since Riddle himself is a good kid (i.e. a kid who is terribly afraid of making his mother angry) and doesn’t misbehave, he is completely unequipped of dealing with a whole dorm of teenagers who aren’t very good or excited to live by the Queen’s Rules. Even those who don’t want to cause trouble can’t remember all of them, they’re basically written in a way that are meant to sabotage you, but Riddle would never acknowledge that: if he learned them, others must too, otherwise they just didn’t try enough. But they just won’t listen, and Riddle gets frustrated instantly: it’s them who are unreasonable, not him!

Of course it is a metaphor and an exaggeration, but I think Riddle portrays a very real thing that a lot of us have either seen or experienced. His standards for himself aren’t just high, they’re absolutely unreasonable, but this is his entire reality and he can’t even see that this isn’t how things are for the rest of the world. He’s like a little goldfish (lol) who lived in a tiny aquarium for its entire life and then got transferred into an ocean without any kind of adaptation or even a quarantine. Riddle is already a second year, but I think the shock of everything around him still hasn’t gone away completely, partially because Riddle spends a lot of time stubbornly ignoring the feeling that he is the one in the wrong. If he is wrong, than mother is also wrong, and that can’t be – this is the only thing he is sure of.

You know, there are some people who really enjoy having a system of rules in their head, or rather principles, and it gives them a very valuable and helpful structure (even if that system of rules/principles isn’t perfect and backfires sometimes). Vil is that kind of person, Sebek is that kind of person... Riddle isn’t. I genuinely think Riddle is the type of person who would enjoy living without a set of rules, but with basic logic to help him navigate the world; does that make sense? Anyways, unfortunately, Riddle can’t live without a manual: he never learned how to. We see it both in his book and in book 6, when he shocks Azul over and over again by just how rigid he is.

Speaking of which, I love that Riddle didn’t have a 180 degree turn after his book. Of course, it’s partially because we have to keep the status quo intact a little bit, and he wouldn’t be the personification of the Queen if he didn’t have his rules; but I also think this is very true to life. Just like the boys said at the end of the book 1, you don’t have to change everything at ones, taking baby steps is okay.

But taking baby steps also means that you will keep bumping into issues and conflicts, which is crucial for growth, but also could make Azul fucking Ashengrotto say that he will beat the shit out of you if you won’t shut up lol

Their entire dynamic in book 6 was very good. Both Azul and Riddle are horribly stubborn, obsessive freaks, but for entirely different reasons and in very different ways. And both of them have their guard up, but interestingly? I think Riddle is better at trusting people and being genuine about his feelings or thoughts about them than Azul. Maybe he’s made a better progress than Azul in that sense, maybe he’s always been better, but this is what I mean: Riddle doesn’t mind genuinely complimenting Azul for his achievements, and a lot of time he didn’t even mean to offend Azul with his remarks. To Azul, however, every compliment is given with a reason and every snarky comment is given to metaphorically push someone down the stairs. Both of them have a lot to learn though lol but it’s fun to see them working through this misunderstanding and actually working together.

You asked about Trey; and honestly, even though we kind of liked him from the beginning, we didn’t think much about him (mostly because we met the rest of the characters whom we were very excited about). But the more I think about Trey, the more I get amused by how much of a dark horse he is. I feel like Trey’s forced neutrality and desire to stay “hidden” from any kind of event or conflict or attention at all is interesting: it’s subtle, but it’s definitely there. He has this inoffensive image of a good and caring older brother type, and it’s true that he is caring and supportive, but it’s also isn’t entirely out of his desire to do good things. I’m not saying that he is an asshole, but he isn’t like Silver or Kalim, if that makes sense, he doesn’t have this hero-like desire for everyone to be happy or to protect the weak no matter what and to help out everyone: whether Trey wants to admit it or not, he has his priorities. And I feel like Trey doesn’t even want to necessarily be “the good guy”, he really just wants to be “the normal guy”, and sometimes “the normal guy people could rely on”.

What I wanted to say by that is that Riddle is Trey’s main priority no matter what. I’m stating the obvious, but this is why he didn’t protect Ace and Deuce (who were in Heartslabyul for less than a week) from him, this is why he kept asking everyone to just be patient with Riddle and to tolerate the way he treats everyone. Because it was more important for him to protect Riddle and to avoid him feeling like he does the wrong thing.

And while it’s partially due to Trey’s personality and his relationship with Riddle, I feel like Trey is also kind of traumatised by what happened back then. Not to the degree that Riddle is traumatised of course, but it’s probably tough for someone who’s always been a good kid to get yelled at by someone else’s mother for hours for doing something that you believe wasn’t even bad. I think Trey feels extremely guilty because he knows that whatever he felt, Riddle had it even worse. So it’s not surprising that he is terrified of hurting Riddle even more: every time he looks at the way he acts, he knows that it’s a result of him being abused. I’m stating the obvious here lol but I like that Trey is stuck in this “sorry, but I will keep hurting all of you because not hurting him is more important”.

We watched Ghost Marriage Event recently (haven’t seen the vignettes and voice lines yet) and I think it’s very interesting that it was kind of tied to the Trey/Riddle situation, which Ace even directly addressed. We even got Trey (and Cater too, to be fair) going yikes because he felt called out by what Ace was saying to Chubby about the way he treated Eliza. Even if you love someone, you can’t just let that person get away with hurting others. Even if you think it will keep them happy, it will never help them in a way you think it will. Riddle gets hurt by staying a tyrant that everyone despises, and Trey knows that he does, but doing that important step of stopping him and having a talk with him is too scary to even consider. This is why he needed that wakeup call from Ace of all people.

I guess that makes Ace more emotionally mature than Trey and Riddle both in a way lol

Anyways, I love their relationship a lot, and even though I’ve mostly been talking about the very basis of their relationship, I think there is a lot to explore with these two.

[rxttenbxnes]

Hello! Do you have any fun headcanons to share about Idia? Honestly, I just find it painful to see how badly this guy gets butchered in headcanons sometimes. People always forget that he is in fact a complete ass with a massive superiority-inferiority complex and not just a sad boi, or they overplay the weeb part and ignore how he has other interests like science and art, or they make him too pathetic by assuming he would still be a blushing incoherent mess like a year into marriage, etc. Anyway, it’d just be nice to hear the headcanons of an actual Idia fan since that’s the only way to get anything sane.

Omg totally, first I'mma do a little rant, I'll make sure to label where the HCS begin so y'all don't have to read my rants 😭

܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀

❱❱﹒⟡﹒𝑅𝑎𝑛𝑡﹢﹒🎮

Okay we gotta acknowledge the fact idia is indeed, an asshole you guys. 💀Well not completely obviously but he's not just gonna be nice to you for no reason. He's not just some depressed dude needing sympathy.

The way Idia is so Infantilzed by the fandom it's actually gets me tweakin, You guys this actually makes me mad, he's not some sensitive bottom uwu boy that stutters 50 times every sentence In fact I honestly cannot see him being submissive half of the time, this man is actually a asshole on the low. Most people get the fact that idia would be submissive from his shy and closed off personality which is just SO wrong to me.

Idia is extremely pessimistic and if we're being real Idia is actually not a good narrator for his own experiences, the constant self deprecation mixed in with his his thoughts about being superior to others is so fascinating to me, one moment he sees himself as nothing but a piece of trash while in the next moment he's boasting about how he's the only one component enough to be ignihyde's dorm leader. He's such a complex character I can Yap about him constantly

I get making jokes and stuff but some people genuinely think idia is some stinky incel creep that hates women and just purposely chooses to not go outside and be chronically online. Like yeah, he has nerdy and loser like hobbies but this man literally has trauma and chronic depression, along with an anxiety disorder, it's not something he can just make disappear. He likes science, engineering, art, anime, games etc which is all just cool, it's not like he's some creep that's afraid to talk to people, nor is he some super submissive guy that'll fold for you in a tiny interaction.

Had to get ts off my chest 💀

܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀

܀⊹ ིྀ𝐼𝑑𝑖𝑎 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 🎮ೄྀ⊹܀

🎧 Caramelldansen. Idia adores this song unironically. At first he had just saw the meme and quickly ended up falling into the whole thing, laying on the floor completely dazed out of his mind as the colorful lights flash in the background from the music video playing on repeat lol

🎮 I said this in my earlier post but Idia definitely draws his crushes all the time. Luckily he has a little self control and draws anime/manga characters in most of the pages, he's really protective over his sketch book due to 1.) His social anxiety and 2.) The fact that he doesn't want anyone to know that he likes drawing and observing people, especially his crushes.

🎧 Idia constantly has his headphones on, I know of a fact that Idia listens to Nightcore, anime OSTs, Vocaloid, animation meme music, Vkei, video game sound tracks and breakcore religiously. I think idia would honestly listen to everything he can get his hands on

🎮 I feel like he had a 2020 alt kid phase lol. I feel like quarantine would've been his time to thrive, his peak enjoyment of life would be set during this time lol. Being able to express himself like he wanted without others seeing??? Sign him up

🎧 Ironically, he's not super weak. I feel like he just sucks at physical activity, especially running since he doesn't leave his room much. His hands/fist are definitely strong, I feel like he has a strong hit.

🎮 That being said, I think Idia’s hands are large, thin and boney. They definitely have a few scars and calluses from all the machinery he works with, you can't tell me that his hands aren't pretty rough.

🎧 Idia is a fashion icon, in games. Not irl, he would never due to the attention it would grab him, though he definitely is into all of the alternative and Gothic fashion stuff. He'll give his characters the most perfect and pretty outfits and make sure everything is customized perfectly, not mind at all if it takes him hours to do so.

🎮 This man definitely collects figures. I feel like they're all anime and video game figures; he's even commission artist and such to make custom work of his favorite interest and brag online about it.

🎧 Has an habit of repeating words and phrases he likes over and over again. It doesn't matter if it's from an obscure meme that literally only 5 people including him know or if it's in a different language, he'll constantly reference and repeat it like no tomorrow.

🎮 He's a biter. He bites a lot of things randomly, he'd bite someone out of love if he got the chance. I'm telling you he'll just naw on random stuff, not caring if it's edible or not. It could literally be a plushy and he'll randomly bite it while he's hugging it.

🎧 Idia definitely finds confort in the rain and gloom weather. Really, he just enjoys typically gloomy things. It's extremely comforting and relaxing to him to just be able to sit on his bed with his headphones on while it rains harshly outside, making the world around him dark and gloomy.

🎮 Curses, like a lot. Gamer rage is real you guys and he definitely has it. If he loses a game too many times or gets too frustrated with his teammates, he'll curse like a sailor. His anger isn't directly to his teammates or anything, it's of him being frustrated with everything in general.

܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀

[solomons-poison]

Ugh I saved the asks to my drafts to work on it and now Tumblr won't let me edit it so I'm tagging you instead 😑 @yarnnerdally This one kind of escaped the requested prompt but I hope you enjoy lol

♞: Caring for each other while ill

Pairing: Nanami Kento x GN!reader

When you first heard a sneeze in your classroom, a feeling of dread immediately filled your chest. You tried to brush it off, attribute it to simple allergies or some dust. But once your other students started to sneeze as well, you knew what was coming. It was cold and flu season, and everyone seemed to be coming down with something, leaving you surrounded by the sick.

You had tried your best to maintain distance with your students and keep up with hygiene and sanitation, but it was too late by then. It was to no one's surprise when you fell ill, sniffling and coughing and sore all over. Poor Nanami had recently moved in with you, and between training the same students and sharing a space with you, he quickly followed suit.

Despite Gojo's repeated efforts and offers to look after you both, you and Nanami decided to quarantine in your home instead, thankfully recently stocked with tissues and cold medicine. It was a little strange at first, admittedly, being stuck together like this without your students to interrupt. But perhaps this was the opportunity for some one on one time with your boyfriend.

You knew, deep down, that Nanami was a caretaker. It was evident in the way he handled the students, always thoughtful and caring in the way he spoke to them and taught them how to fight. But it became even more apparent in his care for you. Although he was equally as sick, the man was unstoppable, cooking warm, comforting food for you and fetching you things for your fever and cough. Often times, he knew what you needed before even you knew, warming your heart at just how sweet he was. So you did your best to reciprocate, making him rice porridge, tea with honey, and getting him warm compresses for his aching muscles. You were both suffering, but at least, you supposed, you were suffering together.

The whole situation was also giving you terrible daydreams of what married life would be like with Nanami. You didn't like to assume where the relationship was going, although him moving in wasn't a minor move by any means, especially by his standards. But as he showed his expert skills at caring for you, you just couldn't help it.

Gojo, who had been checking up on the two of you daily, seemed to pick up on your feelings without even mentioning it to him, something you always found irritating about him just as much as it was useful. Just as the same daydream began to cross your mind again, your phone chimed with an incoming text.

[7:26PM] Satoru☆: soooo what do you think Nanamin would be like when you're married? 💒

You could feel your face heat up at the question, and you knew the cause wasn't your cold. Thankfully Nanami was busy cooking dinner, giving you time to respond, but you could imagine the exasperated sigh he'd let out if he caught sight of Gojo's message.

[7:29PM] You: We literally just moved in together, we're not even thinking of marriage yet

It was a lie, but you'd be damned if you'd admit your daydreams to Gojo so easily.

[7:30PM] Satoru☆: oh please, moving in together is the same as getting married for him

[7:31PM] Satoru☆: and anyway you can't tell me that him taking care of you doesn't make you think about it?

Damn him and his annoying perceptiveness. You deigned not to answer his question, but Gojo never made it easy to ignore him, as your phone blew up with several more messages.

[7:35PM] Satoru☆: cmonnnnn Y/N you know you've thought of it ;)

[7:36PM] Satoru☆: Y/NNNNNN

[7:37PM] Satoru☆: helloooooooo

[7:38PM] Satoru☆: you can't ignore me forever, you know you've thought about husband Nanamin before 💖

You couldn't help the exasperated sound that left your mouth, rolling your eyes at his childish behavior. You finally went to reply to his texts when someone took the phone out of your hands. Looking up, Nanami now held your phone, looking at you worriedly before glancing at the contact name on your phone.

"I was trying to tell you dinner is ready, but you weren't responding. I heard your phone keep going off so I thought something happened, but I see now it's just a pest," he said, brows furrowing in distaste. Nanami always tried to shield you from the annoyances of his colleague, making you smile.

"It's just Gojo. He's just being silly while he checks up on us. It's nothing to worry about," you said.

"I see," he replied, now looking over the text messages. You worried for a moment about what he would say, but Nanami simply huffed before typing out a response.

[7:41PM] You: This is husband Nanamin. Stop texting my spouse or I will have to block you.

He quickly sent the message, not allowing you to see what he wrote, before setting your phone to silent and tossing it onto the couch. He then pulled you up and into his arms, his face finally relaxing.

"That should distract him for a little bit. Now, come eat some dinner prepared by your loving husband," he said, leaning down to peck your lips.

Instantly, you could feel your cheeks burning, and you struggled for a response. Nanami only smiled at you before turning to the kitchen, leaving you a flustered mess. Perhaps getting sick was the best thing that could have happened to you two.

[joealwyndefenseattorney]

Allow me to enter the "adult conversation". I want to answer to that anon aswell.

why didn't he show up for taylor when she needed support?

what do you even mean? As in public or private? Cause privately you don't know anything and if she stayed with him for years clearly he was doing something right. If you mean in public, first of all how do you know Taylor needed support and how do you know when she needed it? Did you expect him to drop everything and go to every single event of hers? Which is kind of hard given that she's constantly doing things and he has a job unlike what you all think. And he did supported her by the way they way

Why was he resentful of her success?

who told you he was resentful of anything? The voices in your head?

Why didn't he go with her to several awards shows? Including the Grammys!

which awards shows exactly are you referring to? Because the usual examples swifties give were on dates he was working. Funny you should mention the Grammys cause he was in the backstage of the 2022 Grammys, when even the relationship was mostly likely dead. If you mean the 2021 Grammys, he was filming. There was a pandemic and travel restrictions. Even if he could have gone, he would have to stay in quarantine before and after obviously messing up the filming schedule

Why did he party in her house whilst ignoring her all the time?

I'm sick of this party story you all got from out of nowhere. And apparently somehow even for the scope he ignored her at said party. First of all, they were living together on that house, as much as you think otherwise it wasn't her house. It was their house, as partners of years who already lived together anyway. He was not a high school kid having to ask for permission from his parents to throw a party. So if he did use the house to throw a party, it's not this outrageous thing you make it out to be. Let me remind you Taylor met and was friend with his co-stars aswell.

Why did he want her to not be as famous as she is now while Travis is very open to it?

Again, who told you he didn't want her to be famous? And I'm guessing you must be a teenager because asking why one person is ok with something someone else isn't is screaming I don't have life experiences. Think about it, if you like tomatoes does that mean everyone likes tomatoes? Ofc not, because we all have different tastes. So why does Travis loves fame and Joe doesn't? Obviously because they are two different people. And quite clearly not only Travis is ok with Taylor's fame, he also loves it and wants to be famous too.

Taylor wanted to be loved out loud but joe always seemed embarrassed by her.

if Taylor wants to be loved out loud good for her, but not everyone does and not everyone has the same love language. If she wanted that, that bad then she should have left Joe earlier cause he shouldn't change who he is to please her. They were together for years, she had plenty of time to realize he couldn't give what she wanted.

And if you mean he was embarassed as in I'm trying to do my job and promote it and people want to know about my personal life instead... that's just you thinking he should have given you content

Why didn't he answer what his fave taylor song was?

Again, because the interviews were about his job not personal life. Because he didn't want to, which is more than enough reason. Because you are not entitled to know about it anyway lol also that question was made back in 2018 when they were very much still very closed off. Maybe after folkore they would have had more luck. The only person entitled to know was Taylor and I'm sure she did so

Why did it always seem like he hated us, the fans?

As he should???? You are all fucking annoying and vile. And if he didn't hate you before, after how you all treated him over the last year he has more than reasons to. If you want the serious answer, he wasn't obliged to love any of you. He wasn't in a relationship with any of you. Get that in your skull. The person he loved was Taylor and that was the person he was in a relationship with. The reason you like Travis is because he's bootlicking you, but I assure you that's not the normal thing. Anyone normal doesn't care to appease and try her gf's fans to like you. The most he should do is respect you and not treat you badly and Joe always followed that. But ofc he didn't care beyond that. Why should he?

Why did he interact with several of his female co stars but locked her away in the basement of his heart?

not the basement. Like stop with this quoting her lyrics as a form of criticism. It's cringe as hell. Also he interacted with his co-stars (regardless of gender) yeah. Did you want him to just ignore them??? In which planet do you live?

Or literally not see she was depressed as he left her behind at home (caging her) while he went to the bar?

Not caging her. Stop you're ridiculous. Taylor wasn't chained at home. If she wanted to go out no one would stop her. Stop being ridiculous ffs. What bar are you even talking about? Is this about the black dog song which not only is post breakup but not even about him? And guess what, by Taylor's own words he was also depressed. So you can also ask yourself, why should he have empathy for her depression when he was depressed and she talks about it like a burden?

[stormblessed95]

who hugged me tightly

only you

who protected me

who only protected me

who held my hand

who held my hand tightly

who reached out to me

who reached out to me

who held out his hand

To you who looked at me greatly

🔗 https://twitter.com/jaksal_5813/status/1639683901571620865?s=46&t=6h2FRfv41Qg9RyUk25oCZQ

Such a beautiful song. I hate that it's only on CD. JIMIN YOU SAID ITS FOR FANS, GIVE IT TO ME SO I CAN STREAM IT THEN PLEASE?!

Here is my original post over Letter too, that I'll stick by what I said there and just add onto it in this post for now too:

During his live stream for FACE, he breifly mentions Letter, which the trans for that is here

The way I'm side eyeing the heck out of the way JKs involvement in this song is being completely ignored by BOTH OF THEM. LOL don't gatekeep please. Share with us!

Honestly the fact that it's named letter because he sat down and wrote his feelings out into a letter and then roughly transformed that into lyrics for a song and it turned out so beautifully. It's because Jimin is a GENIUS and he emotes so sweetly and his EQ is insane and translates so well. And so him just pouring his emotions into paper would of course turn into such a softly stunning song like Letter. 😭 he repeated many times that he emphasized honesty in this album, including letter. And that comes off so sincerely every time you listen.

It's a fan song, yes. It's also... more in my opinion. Because things can be more than just one thing. It's also interesting that the majority of Letter lyric wise is written in a more formal tone/language and uses honorifics. But when the bridge hits, aka when JK joins in for the more heavy backing vocals, the lyrics drop the honorifics and use more informal language from what I've heard. And with the call and receive way the backing vocals answer Jimins main ones, it almost sounds like they are talking to each other there, rather than the fans. Jimin is always so formal and polite and kind when he speaks to us. And jikook often over do the formalities when they talk, or they drop them totally. Which is a consistent habit of theirs. So could the last part of the song be more for themselves? Maybe. Could it still just be for ARMY? Maybe. Could it be for both? Maybe. Regardless, Jimin said it's a song for the fans and JK made it very clear that everyone had always known that he is hyungs biggest fan

Letter IS a love letter. To multiple people I believe. JK being one of them. And I think it was a really really amazing and sweet way to end the album. Hidden in the ending of Like Crazy, after all the emotions and pain and hurt and confusion he went through over the last few years dealing with everything the world went through and they themselves adjusting to a new future.... things like having to quarantine alone for 2 weeks everytime they returned to Korea... getting covid and then having emergency surgery at the same time and having to recover in a quarantined hospital room alone. Facing the upcoming changes for the band in chapter 2 and the uncertainty that came with it. And more. Yet there is still this uplifting and positive emotion that we find ourselves in at the end. Letter feels like love and safety and that feeling of coming home after a really long hard day. It feels like peace. And I like to think that Jimin is expressing those emotions through that song. He finds peace, love and safety in the end. He feels the happiness of being home and embraced. He feels that love from ARMY. And with his choice to include JK in that song, it's like he is saying he feels that peace and love in Jungkook too. That's his home.

LMAO and I have to end with the way he scolded us for uploading Letter everywhere anyway lmfao so cutely. He literally wagged his finger at us!

But the way he said it he saw it ALL. Man if he typed letter in either English or Hangul into the search engine, half the videos that pop up are jikook edits to the song. I know he saw those! 🤣 HE KNOWS YALL, I KNOW HE KNOWS 😅

Anyways, amazing song. I shared it with my non army friends and they were also obsessed. Jimin sounds heavenly on it. I will never stop asking for an official streamable verison of this song. We waited so long for Promise. I'll wait for Letter too!

Editing super quickly to add this clip of Jimin singing a snippet of Letter live to an ARMY on the FaceTime fan meeting calls 😭😭😭

[brightmalcolm]

How do you think the characters coped during the quarentine?

ooh good question!

I think malcolm probably took it pretty hard, he was probably arguing with JT about how he WAS an essential worker and should be allowed to go work with the NYPD. but JT (since gil was still injured) was like we don't really need a profiler atm. but of course malcolm needs cases to distract himself so I think JT would compromise and send him files from cold cases he could look over and take notes on. I think malcolm would also pick up a bunch of hobbies then get kinda bored with them. also lots of zoom therapy and talking with the team.

we know jessica and ainsley quarantined together and I'll just say it's good that house is big bc otherwise they'd be stepping on each others toes 😭 jessica was kinda emo bc she couldn't see gil in person but wouldn't admit it and ainsley was like kinda thinking about everything since at that point she thought malcolm killed endicott and she didn't remember much. so both of them were stressed out and ended up arguing a bit about stupid stuff.

edrisa, dani, JT, still had to go in to work bc I imagine NYPD workers were considered essential, at least in their positions. so that was some added stress, especially for JT since Tally was pregnant and home while he had to run major crimes in gil's absence.

poor gil was trying to recover from being stabbed with the health care system in crisis. and he couldn't really see his team or malcolm much, maybe malcolm visited like once or twice but I imagine they'd want to be careful since gil was injured.

and we know martin was still in prison and apparently doing work there as a doctor to keep COVID from spreading through rikers??? so that's what he was focused on (not for any altruistic reasons, he wanted the power and control that came with the authority and feeling like he had influence over the prison and prisoners). also he was calling malcolm a lot and malcolm was trying to ignore those calls lol.

i'm kinda glad prodigal son didn't focus too much on the pandemic bc I think I was kinda tired of COVID storylines on tv at that point but the little bit of background we got on how they coped with quarantine was interesting!

[twopoppies]

I think my origin story is pretty funny. I'm 32 years old so when 1d was together I was 17 or something like that and of course I thought I was better than everyone else so I never bother to listen to them. Of course I knew some of the songs because they were the biggest band of the planet other than that the only two things I remember about that time is Zayn leaving the band and EVERYONE (even the press) making fun of the fact that Louis was supposedly a dad.

Anyways, when Harry announced the tour for fine line I bought tickets even though I didn't know any songs just because I love concerts but then came quarantine and TikTok and my FYP was full of Harry's videos, the one that made me say: "I'm going to be a fan" was his cover of juice in live lounge. After that the other boys took over my fyp too and I slowly started listening to their solo music too. Then the compilations of one direction funny moments started coming but I was still ignoring them, lingering nonsense from my teenage years for sure. Then one day I was bored of out my mind so I said, if a enjoy their solo music chances are I'm going to enjoy their band music too and that was the last time I was truthly free.

After that the Larry videos started coming and I was like 👀 my queer senses started tingling. The video than convinced me there was more is the one where I think Harry is sitting behind Louis and is subtly (he was not) touching his arm and Louis subtly (he wasn't) pushed his arm back, then I googled them and found a master post and after the first read I was team Larry but what solidify my stance was weirdly enough bbg... Alongside the Larry videos on my fyp there were videos discussing bbg and at first I ignored them all because I didn't like the options because either he was a terrible father or he was put in a incredible cruel situation. I ignored the topic for as long as I could until one day I couldn't anymore and looked for a master post and once again after the first read I was entirely convinced and then here I am

That was quite a journey! But I'm glad you finally made your way here. LOL! That back of the arm touch was THE moment for so many people. dkhjsdjksd.

[melishade]

I love how careless Marley is handling the literal blood of Satan when one wrong move means imminent death lol. Them mfs are going to be responsible for the fuckin' zombie/terrorcon apocalypse and the best excuse they can give at this point is "we did a lil oopsie". This is not even that far-fatched too when you remember how zombie like Berthold was before his death and take the episode "Thirst" into consideration. It also makes me wonder, is a human terrorcon possible? Like in theory it should be since it's just dark energon possessing a corpse. If Dark Energon can bring even Ratchet's broken tool and Skyquake's arm to life what's stopping it from doing that to alien lifeforms? An Outbreak AU with Megatron going "I TOLD YOU SO!" every 5 seconds would be fun to read lmao.

So...we're having a Zombie AU now? Okay, I guess.

I mean, it's highly possible for that to happen with how reckless Marley has been depicted to be in the show and how dangerous dark energon is. It did turn Cylas into a terrorcon, even though his circumstances were extremely different from a regular human. But he was still a human who had succumb to the effects of dark energon.

Not to mention Raf has nearly died from it, but we've never seen what would have happened if he had died from it. Would he have respawned as Unicron's minion? We'll never know.

As for the Zombie AU

TW Violence TW Death

Let's say during the skirmish of Bertholdt scumming to dark energon, instead of beating a scientist to death, he bites a scientist before he gets shot by Magath. The scientist starts feeling unwell and he's kept under quarantine to be checked over. A day later, the scientist gets worse before straight up dying. One of the scientists checks the bodies and the scientist's corpse respawns before biting into the neck of another scientist.

Basically it's an infection frenzy. But it becomes worse with Eldians. Because while non-Eldians fall victim within a day, Eldians fall victim in a matter of hours. So you can imagine just how fast shit hits the fan once Eldians start getting infected. Megatron starts feeling a weak pulse of dark energon, which gets stronger in a matter of hours. He informs Optimus and Hanji about it before going back to the mainland...and is literally met with everything being in shambles. Non-Eldians are slow walking zombies. Eldians unfortunately sprint.

So now just picture Megatron running in holoform away from the horde to get answers.

Megatron ends up finding some Warriors and Warrior Cadets, but it's not looking too good. The Warrior Cadets are screaming for their lives as some infected Marleyans and Eldians are trying to grab at them. Pieck is doing her best to fend them off but they are climbing all over her titan form. Megatron manages to grab the Warrior Cadets and pull them to safety, but Gabi ends up getting bit in the leg during the skirmish.

Megatron demands to know what the hell is going on. But the Warrior Cadets are in complete confusion. Megatron demands to know where the Warriors are, but they don't know. Porco speaks up hearing rumors about a titan ritual happening and says they might be in the science division. Megatron tells them all to stay outside of the science division as he ventures there alone to figure out what's going on. He somehow manages to find an unconscious Annie in her cell. No one even bothered to go in, and quickly makes a move to grab her and run. Whatever was happening, he wasn't going to let a titan shifter get infected. It looked like it was too late for the Cart Titan anyway.

Megatron then spotted all the Marleyan soldiers, including Calvi, huddled in a bunker and ignored them for the time being. He then finds Zeke and Magath gathering weapons and Reiner begging the both of them to go get Bertholdt out of here. Megatron ends up speaking in his regular voice demanding what the hell happened, causing Reiner to understandably freak out and for Magath to be on the defensive. Zeke has no choice but to explain what happened and Megatron can't help but chew all of them out for being so careless with dark energon in the first place. Megatron immediately hands Zeke Annie and goes to look for Bertholdt. Megatron sees patient zero spazzing out due to the dark energon. Megatron tries to kill him, but there's a cave in that causes him and Bertholdt to be separated from each other.

Megatron and the others realize that Pieck has completely succumbed to the infection and is wrecking the compound. Pieck ends up killing Zofia in the process and Megatron has no choice but to reveal his titan form and crush Pieck, killing her, and any other people who have become infected. He could feel the pull of dark energon in him but he refuses to utilize it. He refuses to succumb to its alluring call.

Megatron then tells them all he's taking them to the island. Some try to retort, but Megatron proclaims that the entire world is no doubt going to hell and the island is the safest option. He has to transport them two at a time, and as he's getting them to the island and having to explain what's going on. Gabi succumbs to her infection and starts going haywire. She starts attacking people, and ends up biting Jean's hand. Optimus in holoform quickly subdues him, and as she's thrashing in his grip, Optimus notices the really nasty bite mark on her legs. Optimus remembers the horror movies that the kids on Earth used to watch and quickly explains that infection spreads through bite marks or bodily fluids. Jean is staring at his bitten hand in horror, but Mikasa ends up thinking fast and cuts off his arm, causing him to scream in pain. Everyone's yelling in frustration at her but Hanji quickly gets to work to stop the bleeding.

Optimus and Megatron are arguing in holoform about Gabi's condition and Megatron is proclaiming they need to kill her. Optimus is trying to retort but Megatron reminds him that she's not coming back. Optimus tries to retort, but Gabi ends up biting Optimus and distorting the holoform arm. Gabi bolted for Megatron, but Megatron grabs Mikasa's sword and decapitates her. Reiner is obviously devastated, and now Optimus and Megatron are arguing in their bipedal mode about what Megatron just did. Because the conversation can go any further, Megatron's optics turn purple due to the amount of humans that got infected with dark energon, and the strength is starting to fuck with his head. On top of that, Megatron didn't check if Bertholdt was dead, so now there's a Colossal Titan infested with dark energon. So Megatron is kind of dealing with that.

So plot points for the Zombie AU:

-Bertholdt is undead. Has dark energon in his system. Colossal Titan with dark energon. But he still has some conscious thought. He ends up climbing out of the rubble of Liberio, but his mind is so warped that he thinks Paradis attacked and wants revenge.

-There's discussion about how to proceed with this information. Majority are suggesting that they bar themselves off from the rest of the world. Hanji is the one advocating that they fight to help the world and cure the populus. Because it could only be a matter of time before this infection comes to their shores. It almost did. And their complacency left them unprepared for the Colossal Titan attack. They need to find a solution.

-Megatron's optics are purple now due to the high rate of infection. Megatron hates it. Hanji has to consistently ask about Megatron's experience with dark energon in order to come up with a solution. They're trying to come up with a cure.

-Jean ends up dying due to the blood loss and the dark energon still in his system. So when Jean respawns, Mikasa is ready to kill him, but Hanji asks to keep Jean alive so they can study him. He could be help for a cure. Everyone else thinks its inhumane for obvious reasons, but Hanji reminds everyone that they could ultimately be facing trouble.

-There's a lot of drama between the Warriors Cadets, Warriors, Magath, and the island, but some are won over by Optimus and Hanji's integrity. However they hate Megatron for obvious reasons.

-Annie wakes up to a whole nightmare.

-Marleyan officers are still huddled underground. Haven't decided if they live or not. We'll see.

[dameronology]

you and me [joel miller] - 1/2

"now i've had time to think it over, we're much older and the bone's too big to bury" - jaded, miley cyrus. a.k.a the one where you and joel see each other again and don't know what the fuck to do

warnings: angst, swearing, break-ups, swearing again because my god there is a lot, mentions of alcohol, mentions of death, no tlou 2 spoilers but probably some spoilers from the show. ok i think that's it.

this is my first full length joel fic and tbh i'm not even sure i've got the hang of his character lol. also, it's been about four years since i played the game and i'm writing this from memory of that and the show so pls forgive any inaccuracies. hope you enjoy. xx

jazz

p.s there will deffo be a part 2 to this lol dw

2 0 1 8

Life outside the Quarantine Zone was different.

It was both better and worst; better because there was no military breathing down your back, but worst because the Infected roamed free. It made Joel more tense - even when he kept you firmly behind him, rifle ready to go and finger itching on the trigger - to know that they could be anywhere. Sure, the military sucked but the biggest threat now was the Infected, and you'd come to learn a long time ago that there was no point arguing with his overprotectiveness. It was warranted, after everything he'd been through, so you operated under three rules: he went first, you went second, and if anyone was going to die first, it was going to be him. That last part was the one you loathed the most but he wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

Still, there were moments outside the QZ where he could let his guard down. When you were far enough away from civilisation, and far enough away from any hoards, he would let himself exist beside you, peacefully and at rest. Those nights camping - sometimes on the way to Bill and Frank's, or on a smuggling run - were his favourite. Sometimes it was beneath the stars, or beneath a tangle of trees. It was a tiny insight into what things could have been like in another life, without outbreaks and infected and constantly being on the move. They were moments he craved but so often, you found yourself hating them. Mostly because you knew they would eventually come to an end, but also because it was proof that you could exist out of the QZ. You'd felt like the place had been suffocating you for months. For you, it felt like a death sentence. Joel didn't love them either but he liked that you were both safe there. He could easily find you amongst the walls and you only ever left together. The thing that he thought was keeping you together was actually, in your mind, the thing that was driving you apart.

You'd pose the idea to him (for the tenth time) on a cold night, about four miles outside of the Boston QZ. The two of you had set up camp in the thickness of a forest; your tent was older than your respective ages combined and the fire was dwindling, but you were both content. Joel was leant against a tree, an arm wrapped around you and keeping you firmly to his side, free hand ready on his gun.

"I don't think I want to go back."

Joel peered down at you, quirking an eyebrow. "The hell are you talking about?"

"To the QZ," you said. "I don't want to go back to the QZ."

"This again?" he sighed - but you couldn't ignore the way his grip on you grew tighter. Tenser. "We've spoken about this a thousand times. The QZ is safe. It's...it's our home."

"Just because our stuff is that doesn't mean it's home," you murmured. "After this run, we could just take our stuff and go. We know the way out, we know how to run at this point, don't we?"

"It's dangerous out here," Joel reminded you. "We know how to be out here for limited periods of time. Those routes, those safe spaces and uninfected areas will run out eventually. So will our resources."

You sighed, sniffing. "Yeah. You're right. It's a silly idea."

"Hey...look, baby, don't get all mopey on me now," he shuffled slightly to the side, gently placing his hand on your cheek. "The main thing is that we have each other, wherever that may be. We've just gotta stick to the QZ for now but I promise, I'll get us out eventually. Just hang in there."

"Of course," you gave him a smile.

"It's you and me," he quietly added. "That's what matters."

"You and me," you'd replied. "I promise."

Still, Joel couldn't deny that he'd seen the light in you withering - the light that seemed to come back every time you were outside of the QZ. He knew you were stubborn; that once you had an idea in your head, that was it.

That's why he wasn't surprised to find you gone two weeks later.

2 0 2 3

Joel, my love,

I'm sorry. I'm never going to stop being sorry, but I tried to tell you a thousand times and you never listened.

I couldn't live that way any longer. I wanted to leave the QZ the day I got there, but then I met you, and I stayed longer than I ever imagined. You made it bearable - more than that. I just couldn't carry on anymore, especially knowing that the outside world may not be all that bad. It would be even better with you, but I can't force you to do something so drastic when you don't want to. That's not fair on you, but forcing myself to stay wouldn't be fair on me. Putting myself first feels like the worst thing in the world right now, but I have to do this. For me. I hope you can understand. I love you and I don't think I'll ever stop. I hope we cross paths again one day. It's you and me, always.

Joel Miller carried two things with, always. Three things, actually; his rifle, the letter you wrote him, and the grief that you'd left in your wake. It wasn't your fault - and Joel didn't blame you, not one bit - but he couldn't help but feel like it was his. You'd told him you'd been struggling and as he often did with his own emotions, he'd forced you to swallow it down. He thought that would have kept you together but unsurprisingly, it had driven you away.

Life, as it always had, went on. People came and went - though you never came back - and before long, Joel found himself trekking through Wyoming for the second time. Ellie had consumed all his priorities at that point. She had healed more than one of his wounds, but the night she'd found that letter in his bag and began asking questions had re-awoken Joel's yearning for you.

"Joel Miller, a relationship man? I never would have thought," she'd joked. And she hadn't really stopped asking questions since. She'd wanted to know how you met, how you fell in love, and most of all, why you'd left. Though, it didn't take a genius to guess.

The first time Joel had been in Jackson, he hadn't actually spent much time in Jackson. He'd been in the workshop, then in the bar with Tommy, and then he'd left with Ellie not long after. Now that he was there for the foreseeable future, he found himself wandering one morning. Ellie was still dead to the world, and he'd taken it as an opportunity to see what the fuss was actually all about.

Joel had never believed in ghost towns; maybe that was what this place had been for a while, but most of his ghosts resided back in Texas and Boston. Not Jackson. He had no history here; no one except from Tommy knew he was. Maybe he liked it that way. Maybe that was his chance for a fresh start, for him, and for Ellie...and for you, apparently.

He felt like he had seen a ghost the first time he saw you again. Coming in from patrol with Tommy and Maria, you were leading a horse at the front of the pack. You didn't look any older - if anything, the freedom and comfort that Jackson had brought you had de-aged you slightly. You were radiant; beautiful and shining and with the spark that Joel had always feared he'd strangled out of you by forcing you to stay in the QZ.

He hadn't meant to call out your name. It just sort of happened. It had been a whisper at first, actually, growing into a shout as he crossed the town square and towards the gates. You'd recognised his voice straight away but you hadn't actually believed it to be him. It wasn't until you saw him coming towards you that you realised. It hit you like a truck; actually Joel hit you like a truck, because he hadn't really thought about hugging you, and you in too much disbelief to hug him, so you sort of just fell to the ground in a pile-of-you-and-Joel-and-snow.

"What the fuck, Joel?!" your words had been muffled, on account for the mouthful of snow you had. "What the...what are you doing here?"

"What the fuck are you doing here?!"

"You didn't answer my question," you shot back. Joel stood up, sticking out his hand to help you up. You were happy to see him - and he was happy to see you - but before the happiness, there was the other a thousand complex emotions that had risen in your time apart. "How on Earth did you get here from Boston?"

"Couldn't I be asking you all the same things?!" he'd demanded. He sighed, then, and faltered for a moment. "Shit. I can't believe it's you."

Joel took a deep breath, anger fading; he finally held his arms open to you, taking you into a warm, desperate hug for the first time in five years. Your bodies practically thudded together, arms tangled into one as you clung onto him. You didn't regret leaving - not one bit, now that you were here, not that you were free - but god, there had been days where you would have traded all of that freedom for one more day with Joel. There were no radios here, so you'd hadn't a clue if he was even still alive.

It had been worst for him, because he did have a radio. And he spent days waiting by it, hearing story after story about people being found dead, or new Infected being found by the walls of QZ. They had matched your description on more than one occasion, and after a while, he'd just assumed the worst.

Tommy cleared his throat. "I won't ask, but if you need a moment, the bar is empty."

You glanced at Joel. "Yeah. Thanks Tommy."

Trudging to the bar, with Joel in tow, you walked in silence. It wasn't that you didn't have anything to say, it was just that you didn't know where to start. You'd gone over this scenario a thousand times in your head but now that it had actually happened, you were speechless.

The bar was, as promised, completely dead. You stepped inside and locked the door behind you, heading straight to the whiskey shelf. A double Glen Morangie for you, and a double of the cheapest stuff for Joel. That had always been his favourite.

You took a seat opposite him, sliding the drink to him.

Joel's dark eyes flickered to the drink and then back up to you. "You remembered?"

"I didn't forget a single thing," you shot back. "I promise."

"It's funny - and forgive me if I sound shitty for saying this, but I hope you can understand my position right now - but your promises...I can't say they mean much," he murmured.

You faltered slightly, heart dropping in your chest. "I don't blame for you being angry at me, Joel. I left you and obviously that hurt but can't you see it from my perspective? I was drowning. You could see that I was fucking drowning and you just...you ignored me. You brushed it aside because of what you wanted-"

"- I wanted you," he cut you off. Joel downed his drink in one gulp, slamming the glass back on the table. "All I fucking wanted was you."

"You wanted me in the QZ," you reminded him. "I told you I couldn't stay. A thousand times, Joel, and you ignored me on every single occasion."

"And leaving was the solution?"

"Yeah," you said firmly. "Yeah, it was. I wondered for a while, maybe two years or so, and then I joined a bunch of other stragglers and we ended up here."

"And Jackson isn't suffocating?"

"When I can come and go as I please? When we have running water, electricity, houses and infrastructure?" you couldn't help but let out a derivative laugh. "For what it's worth, I've missed you."

Joel's angry guard quickly came down with your admission. He reached a hand out across the table, brushing a thumb over your palm.

"I've missed you too," he murmured. "The people on the radio...they always spoke about finding bodies and Infected, ones that matched your description. I assumed after a while you were dead."

"I'm sorry," you softly said. "I wish you knew how many times I thought about turning back. Even recently, I thought about it, but I was scared I was gonna come back and find you dead, or even worst that I would find you alive and that you wouldn't want to know-"

"- you think that me rejecting you is worst than me dying?" Joel raised an eyebrow, trying to fight back a smile. "You're always so fuckin' dramatic."

You smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"It hurt, y'know," he went quieter again, voice dropping to a whisper. "You leaving...I knew you spoke about it but I didn't think you'd do it. Not without me, at least. Not when I promised to try and get us out-"

"- you hurt me too, Joel," you admitted. "It was all well and good to say one day, I promise but when is one day? Every time I tried to tell you how I was feeling, you shut me down. You shut me out and then you shut me down."

"So you're sayin' I drove you away?"

You paused for a moment; you could have denied it, you could have said it was all your own doing and that Joel's purposeful ignorance to your suffering wasn't relevant. He wouldn't have believed you. There was no point in denying what he already knew was true.

"Yeah," you shrugged. "You did. And I'm sorry about it, okay? I'm sorry that I left, but I didn't do it because I stopped loving you, or because I wanted to get away from you. I had to get away from everything and there hasn't been a single fucking day since I left that I haven't thought about you, or missed you, or wished that you'd come with me..."

You stopped then, barely able to swallow the lump in your throat or ignore the tears that had formed in your eyes. Joel was feeling a too - maybe just not as visibly - but he so desperately wanted to take his words back.

"I don't know what I'm meant to do now," you continued. "Now that you're here...I don't know how long for-"

"- for the foreseeable future," he said. "I have a kid with me. She's not my kid, but she is my kid and....she's the best thing that happened to me since you. Don't tell her I said that."

You smiled slightly. "The foreseeable future, huh?"

"Yeah. This seems like the best place to be, compared to the rest of fuckin' country," Joel replied. "Especially if you're here."

"Right," you nodded, smile not faltering. "I'm glad you're here. Despite everything."

He raised an eyebrow. "Despite everything?"

"You gotta understand, Joel, I'm over the fucking moon to see you. To know that you're alive, and well, and that..." you paused, trailing off.

One thing you hadn't expected to feel when you saw him again was hesitance. Anger, and resentment, and fucking hesitance. It was something you hadn't realised you were harbouring, but knowing that the man you loved had purposefully ignored the way you felt - even five years ago - hurt. You just hadn't realised how much til now, and seeing him had wrenched all those unhealed wounds right up, tearing them from the back of your brain and making them fresh all over again. Especially when he'd had the audacity to be angry at you - maybe rightfully so - but then not understanding why you might be angry at him.

There was an elephant in the room: what happened now? Did you get back together? Forget about everything that had happened, so that you could be happy again?

No. That ship had sailed. It had sailed, and then it had hit an iceberg and sank, and it had whatever versions of you and Joel that had existed then down with it.

You grabbed your drink, downing the whiskey in one gulp in the same way Joel had just moments earlier. "I'll see you around Joel."

[firesnap]

I am also an adult lol, but while you’re giving out life advice do you have any tips for maintaining friendships as an adult? Like how often do you text/call/hang out with your friends? Like there’s a lot of advice on how/where to make friends, but how do those turn in to actual relationships? I’ve always had trouble with that. (Feel free to ignore if this question doesn’t fit the vibe yk)

I'll be honest, I had a wild ride of undergrad to law school to quarantine that makes it hard for me to answer this. Friendships were either generated through the shared trauma or law school (and then dropped when that mutual tie wasn't there anymore mixed with quarantine) or suffered when I was in law school and just Not Available for 3 years. I struggle now with where do I make friends without that thing like "school" and while working form home.

But, my spouse has a thing where he says your early/mid-20's is more about finding out how you do friendships and looking specifically for people that match that vibe than figuring out how to match someone else's. He maintains that his closest friends include 2 of the guys he went to high school with -- and they talk maybe a couple times a year, see each other once a year, and mainly exist off a years old group chat of memes. But the second you see them together it's literally like they see each other every minute of the day.

He had a friendship "break up" this year solely because the person was very intense and got deeply upset when spouse didn't respond to texts within a certain time frame. It stressed him out because that's just not how he is. So you know, know your boundaries.

He also wants me to add that he found his friend group after college by joining groups and realizing not every group experience is going to equal immediate friendships. He joined a bartending group in our area. He joined mulitple art groups. He did drink competitions and talked to people that were also regulars on that scene. They became friends solely through repeat exposure while doing a group activity and then getting to know each other while doing that activity. This is why small talk is so slept on now. It sucks sometimes, but it's what leads up to finding out the dude painting next to you ALSO loves Final Fantasy or that you all love amusement parks and maybe should plan a weekend.

So. Small talk. Small talk and then actually showing up when people plan activities. Treat it like dating in a way, see if they match the same intensity level as you in terms of how much contact they need to maintain the friendship. But participating in small talk and showing up is literally half the battle of turning acquaintances into actual friendships.

[ralphlanyon]

i was going through my notes and found an old write-up from 2020 of modern au headcanons for "the charioteer" characters during covid-19 quarantine (back when "how would fandom X characters handle quarantine?" was a tumblr trend). apparently this was how i was coping with the stress of peak corona times, lol. anyway finally publishing this, three years later!

laurie: his introverted homebody ass is THRIVING in social isolation and wfh. no more awkwardly dodging party invites from people he hates, being dragged to nightclubs, or having to see his stepfather. he gets to stay home all day with ralph and their dog and finish all the books he meant to read, and he is LOVING it. receives a lot of requests to show off his dog during his work zoom meetings.

ralph: is Doing His Duty by staying home on furlough but also going completely stir-crazy. tries to stay sane by feverishly working on dozens of home improvement projects and cleaning the house several times. basically the epitome of that ben wyatt “do you think a depressed person could do THIS???” meme. has gotten into numerous arguments with people at the supermarket who refuse to wear masks or are hoarding enormous supplies of toilet paper (one of these ends up going viral).

andrew: is very sad about being separated from the rest of his religious community now that the churches are closed, but tries to keep a positive outlook on things. shares a lot of resources online about how to help out and staying in touch with one’s faith during “unprecedented times.”

alec: overworked and sleep-deprived nhs junior doctor directly taking care of covid-19 patients. hasn’t physically seen most of his friends or family in months. writes lengthy screeds on social media decrying the dearth of ppe for health care workers and ranting about politics. frequently gets into online fights with strangers who think coronavirus isn’t a big deal. sends ralph unsolicited articles about self-care and mental health tips during a pandemic that ralph pointedly ignores.

sandy: also overworked and sleep-deprived, but much better at concealing it online than alec. has a popular medical instagram where he posts selfies of him and alec with lots of hashtags. obsessively binge-watches cooking videos on youtube in his spare time.

bunny: an essential retail worker who brings this fact up constantly in conversation. secretly flouting social distancing guidelines on his off days to go to parties and hook-up with men on grindr. has the most aesthetically pleasing cloth masks but can’t bother to wear them properly.

[shetheyshenanigans]

After an UNGODLY amount of time I have finished my prompt for @911actionforgaza !

It's prompt 1481, based on the crossover episode and it's for @ anglverses on Twitter and @sirensbreathe here who I think has changed their Tumblr name but I'm not sure what to, so if anyone could lmk that would be great lol

anyways. here's the fic

Wildfires successfully extinguished, or at least tempered down, it’s time for the 118 to go home. Unfortunately, the highway out of Austin heading to Los Angeles is still completely shut down with debris, and while Eddie knows a couple of back roads that could at least get them to El Paso and clear highways, they’re nowhere near big enough to fit a two tonne truck.

They’ll have to wait until the road is cleared, but until then, they’ve been generously offered the spare rooms of various 126 firefighters as most of the hotels are now full of evacuees. Hen had taken up Nancy on her offer, which only scares Eddie a little bit, Martins is gone with Mateo and Captain Strand, and now Buck and Eddie are being led by TK up to his own apartment, one he shares with his boyfriend, a cop Eddie didn’t get the chance to meet during the fires.

“Carlos should be home soon, but I’ll make a head start on dinner. Is chicken and pasta good with you? I figure you’re as hungry as I am, and there’s no way I’m making it another hour without food.” TK says, showing them the spare room.

It’s a king size luckily, so even Buck’s horrifically long legs will fit. They’ve shared before, during quarantine with Hen and Chim downstairs, and it’s hopefully only for a night, so Eddie resolves to ignore his inconvenient love realisation and pretend it’s the exact same thing as quarantining at Buck’s place.

“That sounds amazing. Is there anything we can do to help with dinner?” Buck asks, dropping his bag on the left side of the bed. Eddie leaves his on the right side, studiously ignoring the fact even their preferred sleeping sides are complementary. Buck would fit into his life so perfectly but that doesn’t mean there’s a spot for Eddie in his life too.

“Not at all! Our kitchen is tiny anyways, we’d only be in each other’s way. There’s a bathroom through here if you guys want to clean off.” TK says, heading back to the kitchen.

“You can shower first, I need to call Chris, let him know I’ll be late.” Eddie says fishing for his phone in his pockets.

“Of course, tell him Buck says hi.” The man in question already rummaging for his shampoo.

The call with Chris settles him the way his son always does, the invisible line of tension Eddie always carries disappearing when he knows Chris is alright. It’ll reappear once he hangs up, a constant thread of his being devoted to his son, but for now, Chris tells him about his day and Eddie relaxes.

Once Buck emerges from his shower, Eddie quickly rinses off, hearing the front door click and a greeting ring through the apartment as Carlos arrives home.

TK must’ve found time for his own shower, hair curling damply as he plates up dinner for the four of them, skilfully waving away every offer of help.

“I don’t think we met earlier, but I’m Carlos. TK says you’re from Los Angeles?” Carlos says and Eddie almost doesn’t hear him, entirely absorbed in finally getting to eat.

“Yep, the 118 firehouse in the city. I’m Buck, this is Eddie, who is actually a good ole Texas boy.” Buck says for the both of them, smiling at Carlos. Eddie viciously ignores the pang of longing in his heart.

“So, you and my boy here stole a fire truck?” Carlos asks, eyes sparkling with amusement. TK smirks, clearly a little proud of his achievements and Carlos rolls his eyes fondly. It’s clear they’re comfortable around each other, love flowing back and forth in an easy rhythm and Eddie is inordinately jealous.

Buck launches into the story, TK interjecting with his own perspective, and Eddie leans back, perfectly content to watch Buck’s animated movements, his pasta ignored as he illustrates their rescue of Hen and Captain Strand. Every now and then Buck will remember his hunger and take a bite, TK continuing the story, until he jumps back in, as enthusiastic and committed and alive as ever.

God but Eddie could watch him forever and never get sick of it.

“So, how long have you been in love with him?” TK asks casually and Eddie chokes on his water. He looks frantically for Buck before remembering he’s in the spare room on the phone with Maddie.

“Was I not supposed to ask that? Because unfortunately for you, it’s pretty obvious and I’ve only known you for two days.” TK says and Carlos disguises his laugh as a cough, reaching for his own water.

“It’s’ – we’re not- what?” Eddie splutters, knowing full well they can see straight through his denials.

Carlos raises his eyebrows and Eddie cracks. Any other day, he’d have kept his secrets locked up, but after the day he’s had? He’s just about able to keep his eyes open, there’s no way he can keep up a lie right now, not even to himself.

“Years, really. I only realised it recently but when I thought about it, it’s been a long time coming.” He admits, slumping back into the ridiculously comfy couch.

“But you’re not together?” TK confirms, as if he’s surprised. Eddie must really be obvious.

“Buck doesn’t- I’m his best friend. Not, not his boyfriend.” He says morosely.

“It doesn’t seem all that one-sided to me.” Carlos says. “You two are so comfortable together and it’s clear you mean a lot to each other. Hell, from the stories at dinner, you’re practically raising your son as partners.”

“I guess we are. There’s no one in the world that I would trust with Christopher more than I trust Buck. Buck’s just so… it’s hard to describe him. When I first joined the 118, he was all aggressive and macho but as soon as we pulled out that grenade, it was like he chose me as one of his people. He changed my life for the better.” Eddie says, unable to put into words just how incredible of a person Buck is.

“Sounds like he’s someone you don’t want to lose.” TK observes and Eddie nods miserably.

Buck is too important to me to lose over some feelings. I’d rather have him as my best friend than confess to him and lose what we have now.” Eddie says. It’s the truth, as much as it hurts.

“You’re sure it’s unrequited? Because from what we’ve seen, I don’t think you’re alone in wanting your relationship to change.” Carlos says gently and Eddie sighs.

“I love Buck. I do. In an ideal world? I would marry him in a heartbeat. He could adopt Chris, and we could raise him together, and hell, he’s incredible with children, did you see him with those kids at the evacuation site? Every time I see him with a baby, I want to adopt a million kids with him. I want to grow old with him.” Eddie says helplessly, unfiltered words finally tumbling out of his mouth.

TK snorts inelegantly.

“That is just- honestly, that’s incredible. But are we the people you need to be telling this to?” He says a strange glint in his eyes.

“What, confess to Buck? What would I even say? What would he say? “Oh yeah, Eddie, we should totally get married and ruin our friendship, I love you too?” No, I will be taking this to my grave.” He says solemnly before he hears a noise behind him.

“Hey, Eddie we should totally get married. Did you know I’m in love with you?” Buck says, leaning against the wall like he always does, no consideration for Eddie’s heartrate and general wellbeing.

“How long have you been standing there?” He asks weakly but he knows Buck’s heard it all.

“Eh, long enough to know you should really get some exposure therapy before Maddie and Chim have their baby.” Buck shrugs and Eddie wonders if TK and Carlos have a shovel handy. If he just digs a quick grave now, he can lie down in it and escape this conversation entirely.

“Hey, hey, Eds, no need to panic. This conversation is pretty overdue huh?” Buck says and Eddie abruptly remembers to breathe.

“Well, we’re gonna leave y’all to it.” Carlos says brightly, and he and TK scamper off to their room. Eddie spares a thought to remind himself to get them a nice gift to make up for all of his feelings.

Buck takes the armchair beside the couch, sitting on the edge of it so his legs tangle with Eddie’s, perched miserably on the end of the couch as he is.

“Eddie, look at me, okay? Whatever you’re thinking right now, you’re probably wrong.” He says beloved voice as kind as always.

Currently, Eddie is thinking that he’s just blown up the best friendship he’ll ever have. Sure, Buck had announced his presence by saying he loved Eddie, but he’d also just been repeating Eddie’s own words. What if he hadn’t actually meant it and just didn’t want to embarrass Eddie in front of TK and Carlos? Well, more than he’d already embarrassed himself.

Buck’s never shown any interest in him, that Eddie can see anyways. The only time he can think of is that moment in his kitchen, after the lawsuit and everything involved, Eddie’s fighting and Christopher’s nightmares, the one moment of levity he’d truly had in days.

He knows they’ve always been a little more devoted to each other than most friends, but can’t the same thing be said of Hen and Chimney? Their job doesn’t exactly lend itself to casual connections.

But he’s said it now. Buck knows. He can’t take it back so he’s just going to have to see it through.

“I don’t want this to change things.” Eddie says, resolving to face up to it. He’s been a coward before, but Buck deserves better from him, the same way Shannon did.

“What if it does? What if I want us to change?” Buck says and Eddie’s veins turn to ice.

God, he’s fucked it all up, hasn’t he? Eddie Diaz is just not made for love. He never should’ve thought otherwise, not after Shannon and how wrong everything had gone.

Buck must notice him spiralling because he catches him, like he always does.

“Eddie, I mean it as a good change. I love you, as my best friend obviously, but I’m in love with you.” He says gently but it hits Eddie like a truck all the same.

“Buck- you- what if we don’t?” Eddie doesn’t even know what he’s trying to say.

“What if we don’t work out? Then we go back to being friends and I’ll care about you just as much. Romance or no romance, you’re my best friend Eddie. I couldn’t do this job without you, and if I’m honest, I couldn’t do life without you, in whatever way we know each other. If we try and it doesn’t work, you’re not going to lose me.” Buck says and Eddie’s fears melt away.

He could still fuck this up. Buck says he won’t leave Eddie, but him and Shannon were tied together by an entire child, and she still left because of him. But somehow, he believes Buck, if only because his entire life is in LA. Buck would never leave the 118, even if Eddie was still there. He wouldn’t leave Maddie, not again, and judging by the tsunami, he would never leave Chris without a fight.

There’s no fucking way he’s telling his parents about Buck though. A solid chunk of Shannon’s hardships in their marriage came directly from his parents interference and he can’t let it happen twice.

“You really want to try a relationship with me? I come with a lot.” Eddie says one last time because it’ll break his heart if Buck says he loves him and doesn’t mean it. Buck would never be that cruel on purpose, but Eddie never knows when to stop doubting a good thing.

“Eddie, we already know each other to the bone. Nothing you can say or do will scare me away.” Buck says, although Eddie can hear a slight insecurity in his voice.

Fuck. Buck confessed his love and all Eddie’s been doing is doubting him.

“If you want me as badly as I want you, then I’m willing to try. I’ve been in love with you for years, Buck. I’d die a happy man if I could have you.” Eddie swears and the hint of doubt in Buck’s eyes clears away.

“You already had me, Eds. Just kiss me already.” He whispers and Eddie’s never been able to deny Buck anything, especially his heart, so he does.

He kisses Buck like he’s running out of air and Buck is oxygen, like he needs him to survive. He kisses Buck like a five alarm fire, all hands on deck, and Buck kisses him back with the force of a high rise blaze, consuming every inch of Eddie’s bones.

It sears him to the core, incinerated by the heat of Buck’s love and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Eddie could stay there forever, he really could, but if his Abuela could see him now, she’d congratulate him for finally making a move and then whack him upside the head for being so rude to their hosts.

It’s only his profound gratefulness for TK and Carlos’ incredible meddling that entices him to break away from Buck but the way Buck whines and immediately tries to chase after his lips almost makes him break.

“Wait, Buck,” He gasps, and Buck unfortunately gets the message, pulling away from him.

“Everything okay?” He asks, concerned blue eyes reminiscent of a baby seal.

“Just- TK and Carlos, we can’t- “Eddie stumbles, words still fleeting as he tries to recover from the flames.

Buck gets him instantly, though, no words needed.

“Of course baby. God, Abuela would kill us if she knew.” Buck says and Eddie is struck by how intertwined his life is with Buck’s. It’s the only explanation he has for what he says next.

“Come home with me.”

Buck laughs, as if Eddie’s joking but he’s dead serious.

“I do plan on going back to LA, we’re literally leaving tomorrow.” He says eyes dancing with mirth.

“I mean the house. Come home, to me and Christopher, come home with me.” Eddie says and Buck, God, Eddie doesn’t know how to describe the look in his eyes.

He remembers abruptly, the bitten off words about Buck’s parents, the total lack of their presence even when the ladder truck exploded and Maddie’s kidnapping happened, how in all of Buck’s early stories, he seemed to be out of his house by eighteen.

“Isn’t that a little fast?” Buck asks hesitantly and Eddie swallows the instant pang of rejection, forcing himself to think logically.

“Buck, I’ve practically given you my son.” He says, and abruptly remembers he has in fact, legally given Buck his son in the event of his death but continues with his speech anyways.

“You’re over all the time anyways, Chris would be ecstatic to have you there, I love you, and you’re already part of our family. Come home with me.” Buck looks stunned, and Eddie has no clue why.

Of course Buck is part of his family. What else would he be to them otherwise?

“Eddie, I can’t just- what do you mean I’m family?” Buck says helplessly.

“You are. My Abuela has practically adopted you as a grandson, Chris treats you like another parent, you do so much for us. We’ve basically been in a relationship for months without confirming it.” Eddie meant what he said last night. If he had a ring, he would have already proposed.

“Y-you’re my family too, Eds, you have to know that. But what if you get sick of me?”

“Evan. There is no world where I could ever get sick of you, and if I ever dare to say that, book me in for a CT scan.” Eddie says, knowing from the tsunami that if he calls Buck by his given name, he’ll know Eddie means business.

“But... I love you Eddie, this isn’t me trying to get out of this, but I know I can be too much. I-I’m exhausting sometimes you know that. I was too much for my parents, for Abby, for Ali. I don’t want to be too much for you.”

That stupid fucking grocery store. Eddie wishes he’d burned it down.

“Buck, I’m going to spend the rest of my life making up for that stupid, stupid word. I was so angry then, at the whole damn world. And God, I hate to say it, but I was scared too. Shannon had just died, I nearly lost you in the bombing, and then you and Chris in the tsunami- the idea of losing you again, to the lawsuit, I couldn’t handle it. I should never have called you exhausting. I- “Eddie breaks off, knowing what he wants to say but the words keep slipping away from him.

“Buck, I can’t imagine a life without you in it. You knew me for a week, and you called Carla, and then the skateboard too, and when Abuela broke her hip, Buck, you’ve done so much for me. I should’ve known I’d fall in love with you the second you thought of the skateboard. I’ve always been told to put limits on my son, but instead of changing him to fit the world, you changed the world for him. You’re a fighter Buck, and there’s no one you fight for harder than your family. Let me fight for you.”

There are tears in Buck’s eyes, and Eddie knows for a fact there’s some in his too, but for once, he doesn’t care about whether or not he should cry. Buck is more important, Buck is always more important.

“Yes.” Buck chokes out, and it’s only a house, but Buck may as well have agreed to marry him, because Eddie is never letting him go now.

After the first night of sleeping with Buck wrapped in his arms, Eddie wonders how he ever slept without him. It certainly gives him the strength to deal with the unexpected blow of TK Strand perfectly psychoanalysing Eddie before he’d even put on the coffee.

“When I first met Carlos, I got in my own way. I didn’t think I deserved him, someone so good for someone as fucked up as I was. I thought he’d be stuck with me, that I couldn’t give him as much as he could give me. Eventually I realised that I was the only thing preventing us from being together, because I didn’t let him make the decision on whether or not I made him happy, I just decided I wasn’t worth it.” TK says unprompted as he fries an egg at the stove.

Eddie, leaning against the island as he waits for the coffee to finish, senses a conversation he might not be ready to have.

“You got through it.” He remarks, deliberately obtuse. He needs at least two sips of coffee before he’s ready to confront his probably unhealthy mental state.

“I did. And you will too, although I hope you’ll have an easier road. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, is that I don’t get to decide if I’m deserving of Carlos. He thinks I’m worth it, and I know now that it hurts him when I deny that.” TK says and Eddie remembers the hurt look in Buck’s eyes when Eddie kept questioning him.

“He’s told me that it feels like I’m scared of him, that I think he’s a cruel enough person to think these awful things about me that I invented in my own head. If I call myself a useless fuck-up, it’s not exactly healthy, but it only hurts me. If I think that Carlos thinks that, that he’s only staying with me out of pity, then I’m hurting him instead.” He says, green eyes looking at him with such compassion, that Eddie has to look away and busy himself with the coffee.

“I know Buck’s a grown man, who makes his own decisions, romantic or otherwise but I just- I love him so much that I almost want to protect him from me. I don’t exactly have the best track record, and I don’t want to fuck up again, especially not with him.” He says hesitantly and TK smiles.

“You’re going to fuck up, Eddie. It’s inevitable, you’re only human. But Buck will fuck up too. You can’t put him on a pedestal when you’re meant to be partners. It’s pretty damn lonely up there, and it’ll only make him feel like he’s not allowed to make mistakes. Buck has a past too, probably has insecurities too. You’re both only human, Eddie. You’ve got to be in this together.” TK says and Eddie sighs.

“I know that, and I was so sure last night. He’s agreed to move in with me and Chris, and I’ve been there for so much of his life the last few years, and vice versa. I know what keeps him up at night, and he knows me, but I’m still… I’m still scared, and I don’t know how not to be.” Eddie admits, staring at his coffee so he doesn’t have to look at TK.

“It’s a process to be fair. And I’m coming at this two years down the line, so I know exactly how much work it took to get here. But Buck has decided you’re worth it, and I think you’re pretty set on him too.” TK says and Eddie groans. The man would make a killing as a psychologist.

“Have you ever considered switching careers?” He asks half-heartedly and TK laughs.

“You’re a good man, Eddie. You deserve to be happy, and so does Buck. If I can make it just that little bit easier for you, then I’m happy.”

“I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay the both of you. It might have been severely embarrassing to realise Buck had heard the absolute insanity I was spewing yesterday, but if he hadn’t, I never would have told him I loved him.” Eddie says sincerely.

He can tell that TK has been through a lot, and for him to come out the other side and be a person with such kindness is incredible to him.

He knows he can be bitchy, that he has a habit of covering hurt with anger, and that he certainly doesn’t talk about his feelings enough. Eddie’s trying to be better, for Chris, and now for Buck, but baring his past and emotions the way TK’s just done for him, still feels so incredibly hard.

“I’ve been where you are, Eddie. I don’t know you too well, but like recognises like. There’s no point in waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’ll only ruin your own happiness instead of enjoying it. Why worry about the future when you’ve got such a good present?” TK says, and something clicks in Eddie’s head. He’s not sure what it is, but he’ll figure it out eventually.

“Take each day as it comes type of shit then.” He says and TK laughs.

“You’ve got good days ahead of you, Diaz. You’ll be okay.”

Buck emerges from their room then, ungelled hair loose and curly. This is one of Eddie’s favourite versions of Buck, soft and calm, as if all the horrors he’s faced have never touched him.

Buck catches his eye and smiles, and it hits Eddie all over again that he gets to have this. That Buck is going to come home with him, and tomorrow he’ll wake up with Buck right beside him again, and the day after that too, and all the days left of his life.

“I think I will be.” Eddie says, still looking at Buck. “I really think I will.”