#he has multiple missed calls and messages from ice

[scarebats]

maverick is the type of guy to accidentally post his own nudes on twitter while trying to send them to ice when he’s drunk

[mickandmusings]

vi. 'tis the damn season

part of the 'hangman & honey' series!

summary: for the past six months, jake has spent every spare moment attempting to mend communication between he and honey. for months, he uses his phone calls to phone her, leave long voicemails, and writes her multiple letters a week. his efforts come with no avail, she never calls or writes him back. with christmas around the corner, jake makes his way back home to texas, but not before making an important stop along the way.

word count: 6.1k

warnings: 18+ mdni!! (dirty talk, but no explicit descriptions); definite military inaccuracies; definite college inaccuracies; general angst; christmas story in august?

-

'Dear Honey,

I know this is the third or fourth letter this week, and I'm not even sure if you're receiving these, but I can't just not write to you. I left you another voicemail, and I'm not sure if you're listening to those either, but I have talked to you nearly everyday since we were nine, and, well, that's not a habit you break easily. I called you on your birthday last week and left a message, and I sent you a card, I hope you got them both.

Honey, I'm sorry. I'll say it in every voicemail and every letter until you believe me. I shouldn't have taken so long to tell you the truth. I regret it. If I could take it all back, you know I would. I didn't do it to hurt you, I never want to hurt you. But I know I did, and no words I could say or write will change that. I'm sorry. I'll say it over and over again until you understand how much I mean that.

I know you likely don't want to hear about my time here, but I've always told you everything. If you don't want to hear me talk about it, I thought you might read about it. I can't ever remember a time you weren't reading.

Life here is different. Not bad, just...hard. The weather is certainly cooler than the winters back home. We even got snow, true snow, not the shitty kind we get in Haven. It sticks to the ground, and you can actually play in it, not just bust your ass on ice and sleet. Things are always very routine and strict, but, considering it's a week til Christmas break, things are looking up. Honestly, I've never been more ready to go back home to Texas. Granny said she spoke to you about coming home for Christmas, since you missed Thanksgiving? I really hope you'll come around. I miss you, Honey. I haven't heard your voice since that voicemail you sent me in October. Look, you can stay at the other house, I'll set it up for you before you even get here. Or, I'll stay there, and you can have our my room. You don't even have to talk to me, just please come. Just seeing you would be enough.

My bunkmate, Javy, the one I've mentioned to you for the past few months, he's from New Orleans. He's coming home for Christmas, and he's going to drop me off at the airport there. I'll fly back to Austin from there, and Pawpaw will be there to pick me up. Sometimes, at night or when we have spare time, Javy tells me about his life back home in Louisiana. More often than not, it makes me think of you. They make me think of the birthday beignets you make for Pawpaw, and how you'd make us gumbo in the winter. Frankly, everything makes me think of you. Honey, I see you everywhere. There are these bushes outside Bancroft Hall, and they're full of these little white and red flowers. I'm not sure what they're called, but they're pretty, and I know you'd love them. There's a kid in one of my morning classes, and he's got your accent too. It's nice to hear, I haven't heard your voice in so long. I hope the Magnolia State is treating you well. I imagine you're much happier with your favorite flower all around you.

I don't have much else to tell you about. I'd like to tell you my other stories when we're face to face again. I just wanted to let you know I miss you, and I love you, always. Call me back or write to me whenever you get the chance, if you're feeling up to it.

All my love,

Jake'

Honey holds the paper tightly in her hands, letting it crinkle under the pressure of her grasp. If he'd sent this letter when they'd first split, she'd have balled it up or ripped it to pieces with her blinding, white-hot rage. She had been so angry when she'd first moved away, ignoring his incessant phone calls and numerous voicemails. She had let his letters pile up on her desk, unopened and unread. In the chance that he'd sent this letter just a few months later, she would have stained the ink of his letters with her tears. After her anger came a fierce sadness, one that seeped into her bones and left her incapacitated, ridden with the agony that threatened to pull her under like a rogue wave. But now, as she stares down at Jake's scratchy handwriting across the lined paper, she simply feels numb. His letter does not spark an onslaught of tears or suffocating sobs that leave her chest heaving. She simply folds the letter back up and slides it back into its envelope, placing it gently on her desktop, deciding to deal with it later, much like the emotions it evoked.

She knows she shouldn't, but she grabs the familiar orange sweatshirt that lives on her bed and throws it over her head. It comes to her knees and the sleeves are far too long, but it provides her with a comfort she almost wishes it didn't. In her tiny dorm room in Starkville, her small college town (although bigger than Haven,) she feels isolated. Her entire life for the past six months had simply been going-through-the-motions of life: wake up, go to class, come home, study, finish assignments, work a shift at her on-campus job, shower, repeat. Life had become monotonous, something that her life with Jake never was.

She knows she shouldn't wallow. She should try and get out, make more friends-more than just the lady at the circulation desk in the library-and try to enjoy her life at nineteen. But, once again, that gnawing, creeping feeling infiltrates her chest, Honey wasn't like her classmates. She wouldn't enjoy sitting in a bar or attending a frat party. She'd sit in the corner alone, nursing a drink she likely wouldn't finish, and leave with an Irish goodbye. Now, all she had was a sweatshirt that smelled faintly of the boy she once slept next to each night, and it was her only source of comfort.

Honey knows she should get up and call Mrs. Janet, to let her know that she's okay, and that she was settled. The last time she'd spoken to her or Mr. Jacob had been nearly two weeks ago. She should call Haley and Sarah Grace back, both of her hometown friends had been calling since they'd met up for the last time in October. She knows she should stop shutting those who loved her out-Jake included-but that was a different situation entirely.

Instead of doing any of the aforementioned, she simply sinks into her comforter and puts her headphones on, effectively shutting out the rest of the world. She was glad her roommate had left for her own home state, leaving her alone in the dorm room for the next two weeks. Deep down, Honey knew she was lying to herself. She yearned for the feeling of home, her true home, on a farm in Texas. She craved Mrs. Janet's cowboy cookies that she made at least two dozen too many of, and Mr. Jacob's Christmas ham that took hours to get just right, but was so worth it when it practically melted in her mouth. She missed sitting around a room full of the Seresin family, watching the children open new toys and heaps of candy. She'd laugh as they opened new clothes with sour faces, quickly ditching them for the next box in shiny wrapping. Their childlike joy made her own flare, leaving her chest warm as she giggled quietly in Jake's arms. She missed Jake sneaking them eggnog from the kitchen, and the babbling laughter they erupted into when they realized no matter how much older they got, it was always just as disgusting as the first time he'd snuck it when they were thirteen. Mostly, she missed the warm, peaceful feeling she felt when she was in a room full of people she loved most. In a bout of honesty, she admits that maybe, just maybe, she just missed Jake.

Through her headphones, she can hear the rain patter against her window, and she sighs, the weather only adding to her melancholy mood. Honey knew if she chose to rot in bed, her emotions would only grow heavier, so with a deep sigh, she rolls out of bed and slides on her worn sneakers. She takes off Jake's Longhorns hoodie and swaps it for her own, tosses the hood over her head, and grabs the keys to Jake's truck. She grabs her finished library books to return, and her wallet, deciding to wallow in the secluded section of the library instead. She walks out of her dorm room, locks the door, and takes the stairs down to the lobby. She pushes the door open and heads out into the rain.

Honey would never make it to the library that day.

-

Two weeks prior...

"You scribblin' away for that girl again, Seresin?"

Javy's voice fills Jake's ears, and Jake doesn't bother looking up as he shoots his roommate a middle finger salute. Javy laughs at the action before climbing into his top bunk, leaning his head against his pillow. There's silence between the two before Javy's voice cuts through again.

"So when are you gonna tell me about her?"

From the second that Javy had met Jake, it seemed like something was weighing his bunkmate down. It wasn't until a week or so later, when they both were calling home, that Javy learned it wasn't something, it was someone. Jake kept information about his girl on lock, so Javy knew little information: her name was Honey, which Javy found odd, but brushed it off. She was studying English at a college in Mississippi, and Jake had, somehow, royally fucked things up with her before he'd come to the Academy.

Jake sighs, stopping his writing as he looks up at his friend on the top bunk.

"If I tell you, will you shut up for ten minutes so I can write?"

Javy nods, his brown eyes sparkling with a stream of questions he'd been burning to ask.

"Fine, what'dya want to know?"

Javy is quiet for a moment, looking up at the ceiling, as if pondering something.

"What's she like? Wait! No, let me guess! She was a cheerleader, pretty little thing, prom queen, the whole nine-yards to your little All-American thing."

Jake lets out a laugh, thinking of Honey as he shakes his head.

"You couldn't be more wrong. Except the pretty part, she-she's gorgeous."

"Really?" Javy sits up and leans over the metal railing of the bunk. "What? Is she like some metal chick with the eyeliner?"

Javy motions around his eye to emphasize his point.

Jake's eyes widened, continuing to shake his head.

"Definitely not."

"Then what's she like? C'mon man, you gotta give me something! You're always callin' her and writin' her, and I never see you get a response. She got you under Love Potion Number Nine or something? She do the whole magic thing? Can't trust that man."

"No, no, she's not like that. She's-," Jake pauses, trying to find the most accurate words to describe Honey. "She's quiet, shy, she's practically the opposite of me. She likes to read, a lot. I don't think there's ever been a time in our lives when she didn't have a book in her hand. She's kind, never lacking patience when it comes to all of my bullshit. And smart, ridiculously so, she's the smartest person I know. Honey is...witty, and funny, she's got this sarcastic sense of humor that you'd never expect from her. W-We've been friends since we were kids. We started datin' in high school, and we had this fight before I came here, and, obviously, she's still mad about it, so...yeah."

Javy notes the glimmer in Jake's eyes as he talks about his girlfriend, a small smile forming across his lips. Javy hadn't known Jake for more than six months, but this was probably the happiest he'd seen his bunkmate. Javy shrugs, giving his friend another incredulous look.

"So what are you gonna do about it, Seresin?"

Jake's jade eyes look up at him, his letter finished but suddenly forgotten.

"What do you mean? She obviously doesn't want to speak to me. The only time she's spoken to me in six months is when she left me a drunk voicemail on Halloween, saying how I made her cry. What am I supposed to do with that? If she saw me, she'd probably knock my lights out."

Javy shrugs. "But do you love her?"

Jake looks down at his well-kept shoes.

"More than she'll ever know."

"You said she's studying in Starkville? You think she's going back to Texas for Christmas?"

"It's unlikely," Jake responds, his voice somber at the admission. "Why?"

"Well," Javy props back onto his pillow, his hands tucked under his head. "I'm driving back home for Christmas, passin' right through Mississippi. It sounds like if you messed this up, you need to be the one to fix it. Show her you haven't given up, and you want her back. If you surprise her, maybe she'll give you a chance to explain yourself."

Jake's heart hammers in his chest, his friend's plan wasn't entirely bad. Jake looks up at his bunkmate, his face set in a knowing look.

"Honey hates surprises."

"And you hate living without her, which one will be worse: her temporary anger, or never speakin' to her again?"

Jake sighs, he hates that Javy was right. Maybe it was a stupid idea, cancelling his flight back home from Austin, tagging along on a road trip with Javy to get the love of his life back. But, a week later, Jake's duffel was slung into the backseat of Javy's car haphazardly as he rode shotgun, giving his friend directions toward a small Mississippi town.

-

Now, Honey makes her way across the rainy parking lot. Through her blurry eyesight, she quickly finds Jake's truck in the nearly empty parking lot. She fishes the key from the bundle of keys in her hand, sliding it into the key slot on the door and unlocking the door. Before she could remove the key and pop open the door, Honey hears a voice call out her name. She pauses, and for a split second, she thinks she hears Jake's voice. She shakes her head, pulling at the driver's side door. It was often shut too hard, and she had to pull with a good portion of her strength to get it to open. As she tugs on the handle, she hears it again, her name in Jake's voice. She tugs harder, thinking she was finally losing her mind.

"Honey, wait!"

The footsteps behind her alert her that the voice she had been hearing likely wasn't just a hallucination. She turns abruptly, and her heart stops in her chest. There, standing before her in a rain-soaked Navy sweatshirt and jeans, his significantly shorter blonde locks plastered against his forehead, was one Jake Seresin. Honey's eyes widened in shock, the breath in her chest growing short and ragged. She pulls her books closer to her chest, an action of both shock and keeping them as dry as possible. Her eyes dart back and forth between his own. She's quiet for a moment, rendered completely speechless.

"Jake?!" Her eyebrows furrowed. "What the hell are you doing here?! You-You're supposed to be on a plane to Austin right now!"

Jake stands in front of her, motionless, as his eyes take her in completely. It had been so long since he'd seen her, and he simply wanted to peer at her forever. She hadn't changed much, she was still shorter than him in stature, still an avid reader by the small pile of books she'd finally tossed onto the truck seat, but her eyes didn't quite shine like they once had. Jake's heart hammered in his chest, staring at the girl he loved standing in front of him in the pouring rain, arms crossed over her chest, shivering in the cold.

"Jake, hey?!" She waves her hand in front of his face, attempting to gain his attention. "What are you doing here?!"

Honey's voice is loud enough to hear over the rain pelting around them both. Her eyes are wide as he looks down at her, his hands itch to touch her, but he keeps them at his side. He takes another look into her eyes, and he simply loses every ounce of control he has. He takes a step forward towards her, his hands come to rest on either side of her face. Honey wants to knock his hands away, she wants to let her anger simmer forever, but the warmth of his calloused touch provides her with a comfort she hadn't felt in so long. If it had not been raining so fiercely, both halves of the pair would realize the tears running down one another's face. He's silent for a long moment, simply taking in her face for the first time in months.

"Honey, I-I fucked up," Jake starts, his voice trembling with a flurry of emotions. "Honey, I fucked up so, so bad."

He pauses, allowing the rain to soak through both their clothes, his thumb brushing carefully against her cheek. His bottom lip trembles, his hands beginning to shake against her face. Honey says nothing, only braving a look into his green eyes darkening with tears.

"I-I've apologized a thousand times over the past six months and it's not enough. It'll never be enough, because knowin' I hurt you?" He pauses and shakes his head with his lips pressed into a fine line, effectively keeping him from bursting into sobs. "Honey, that shit has ripped me to shreds everyday since you left. I-I never meant to hurt you, ever. I'll spend the rest of my life apologizin' to you if that's what you want." His eyes bore into her own, his breaths shaky.

"I'll spend the rest of my life on hands and knees, grovelin' if that's what you want. A-And if you tell me to fuck off and never speak to you again, I-I'll do it. Just-just know that all of me-body, heart, soul, everything I am-it belongs to you. If you've decided that you're movin' on, and you want to do everythin' we planned with someone else, I won't try to stop it. But, you have to know somethin', and I need you to understand that it doesn't matter if you move to Canada, o-or you stay here, or you move back to Haven, my heart forever sits in your hands. It's yours, forever, whether I have yours or not. That house on my grandparent's farm? I fixed it for you, it's yours. This truck? It's yours, take it. Honey, you can have whatever you want, I'll buy you whatever you want, I'll make it if I can't buy it. Tell me what you want, and I'll make it happen. Whatever it is, baby, it's yours."

His chest moves quickly with his rapid breaths, his hands shaking from his contained emotions. Honey simply looks at him, still a bit shocked that he's standing in front of her. If she wasn't overwhelmed by the landslide of apologies he'd just spouted, she'd have given him her own back. Instead, she stands a bit still, her chest just as heavy as his. He mistakes her silence as rejection, and his face falls as he gives a subtle nod of his head. His hands move from her face, and, in that split second, Honey is shocked into action. She wouldn't lose him again, she couldn't lose him again. In one quick swoop, she grabs the wrists of his sweatshirt, pulling his attention back to her. She speaks a tad louder than her normal tone, ensuring he would hear her over the pelting rain.

"You, all I want is you. That-That's all I've ever wanted, Jake!"

He catches a glimpse of her face, her cheeks pink as she shivers, but her eyes, they were the same love-filled gaze he'd remembered. He wanted to begin another string of apologies, to assure her that he meant everything he said, but he never got the chance. In an action almost completely out of nature for the shy girl he knew, her arms were around his neck, pulling his lips towards hers in a heated passion. He wasted no time in indulging in the action, his hands coming to her hips, lifting her a bit higher to deepen the kiss. The sweet kiss quickly turns to a clash of teeth and heated movements, and Jake quickly hoists her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as if it were muscle memory.

From his car across the lot, Javy shakes his head and smiles as the two embrace one another. He cranks his car back up, backs out of the parking spot and turns back onto the main road. He shakes his head as he thinks of his friend, mumbling to himself as he drives:

"Tis the damn season, Seresin, you lucky dog."

Back at the school, it only takes a split second for the couple's kiss to grow a bit too intense for the parking lot setting, and, without thinking, Jake pulls her through the lobby's double doors and into the elevator, where the two finally break apart for a split second.

"J-Jake, I-I never should've left like that, I-,"

She doesn't get to finish, Jake's lips are back on hers, this time with more fervor than before. Honey shudders, with both the cold from her wet clothes and the heat building in her torso. They break apart as the elevator dings, and Honey is pulling Jake by the hand back to her dorm. She all but shoves him inside, locking the door behind her. Jake wastes no time in crossing back to her, slowly pulling off the hood of her hoodie, his eyes widening when he glances at her mostly dry hair.

"Y-Your hair, it's...shorter."

She chuckles. "Yeah, I just needed a change...you're one to talk, J, I've never seen your hair that short."

He pulls her in closer by her hips, lifting the soaked hoodie over her head as he speaks.

"Yeah, well, plebe summer wasn't my best look, you're just lucky you missed me bald, baby."

Even in the dim light of the dorm room, Jake notes the darkening look of her gaze, her lids growing heavier with desire. Honey's hand comes to the short hair growing on the nape of his neck, her head cocking to the side as she threads her fingers through the new growth, a look on her face he can't quite place. He pulls her flush against him, attempting to read her look.

"Hm, yeah," she starts. "I'm real glad I missed that part. Y'know, why?"

The girl below him moves to kiss the underside of his jaw, making his hands tighten on the grip he has on her hips.

"Why's that, baby?"

Honey's lips move to his neck, his hands slipping past her hips and to the round of her bottom. Above all else, Jake Seresin had been raised to be a Southern gentleman, but his resolve was slipping.

"Because," Honey starts, her accent slipping through, causing the heat in Jake's lower half to grow unbearable as her lips continue their course down his skin. "I like havin' somethin' to hold onto when you're between my thighs."

Long gone was Honey's shy demeanor, and long gone was Jake's gentlemanly resolution. Without a word, he's tossing his own damp sweatshirt over his head and throwing it to the floor with her own. Honey has ditched her drenched shirt and sweatpants, now standing nearly bare between Jake's arms. Without a second of hesitation, Jake pulls her onto the ridiculously small bed, but he pays it no mind, more focused on the grinning girl beneath him. He kisses her lips passionately, his hands resting on her bare thighs. His own heart hammers, and, as he kisses down Honey's neck, he can feel her own beating just as loudly. He pulls away, tossing off his damp jeans to the floor. He looks down at her almost bare frame, his emerald eys heavy with lust, but his voice is cased in affection.

"If this is what you want, that's certainly fine with me, but I need to hear you say it, baby."

Honey looks up at Jake's kind but intense gaze, her heart slowing a bit.

"After that whole The Notebook-esque apology you pulled, yes, I want this."

She nods in confirmation, and Jake wastes no time in attaching his lips back to hers. Honey's hands fly back to his hair, her fingers digging into his locks. Jake's hands come to her torso, carefully sliding off the clothing constricting her chest and tossing it onto the floor. He pauses for a brief moment, staring down as he hovers over her. Honey looks up at him, her head cocking to the side.

"Jake? Hey, what's the matter?"

Jake's mind is in overdrive, and he simply feels the urge to stop and stare at her. She's bare before him, cheeks flushed, eyes blazing with affection. Jake swallows thickly as he pushes hair out of her face.

"Honey, you-you're beautiful. I am the luckiest man on fuckin' Earth, baby."

Honey blushes at his compliment, pulling him back in with a heated kiss.

"You're such a smooth talker, Seresin...but right now, I need you to use that mouth of yours for somethin' other than talkin'."

Jake grins from ear to ear, the usual smirk she's used to seeing painted across his face. His thumb brushes against the fabric adorning her hip, gently pushing it down. He tosses them to the floor along with the other clothes they'd shed, and nudges his way in between her legs. Heat fills the space between them completely as he speaks:

"Yes ma'am."

-

Hours later, in the late hours of the night, Honey is woken by the vibrating of something nearby. Jake-who has her pressed into his chest with the strength of a bear-doesn't budge. Honey, ever the light sleeper, groans, lightly tapping Jake's shoulders. His body moves, but he simply curls back into their shared pillow. She shoves him again, a little harder this time as she speaks.

"Jake," Her words receive no response, so she speaks again. "Jake!"

It's Jake's turn to groan, his arms pulling her closer to his bare chest.

"Hm? What is it, baby?"

Honey's lack-of-sleep induced annoyance fades at the nickname she so adores.

"Your phone is ringing."

Jake groans again, slipping out from under the blush pink sheets and searching for his phone that he assumed was still lodged into his jean pocket. Honey opts to glance at his newly toned arms and strong, broad shoulders, his time training in Maryland obviously having physical gain. He hits the button on the screen, not bothering to look at the caller ID, and speaks:

"Hello?"

"Jacob Thomas! Where the hell are you?!" His grandfather's voice fills his ears, and Jake pales. Shit. He had completely forgotten to tell his grandparents about his detour. "I've been sitting at the airport for three hours, son!"

"Pawpaw, I-I'm sorry, Javy just decided to take me all the way back to-" He's cut off abruptly.

"Look, that's fine, but you could've called. Your grandmother's callin' and she's pissed, son. Just get home, alright? Preferably sometime before Christmas Eve? She's already distraught about Honey not comin' around, so, the sooner the better. Heard?"

"Loud and clear."

"Alright, well, I love you, kid. Be careful."

"Love you too."

Jake hangs up the phone, crawling back into Honey's sheets and pulling her back into his arms. Honey's nose burrows into the crook of his neck, Jake's warm skin against her own far warmer than any blanket she owned. Jake's hand ghosted against her side, the other threading through her hair. His voice is low and soft as he speaks:

"How do you feel about Christmas in Texas?"

Honey's eyes open, looking up at her boyfriend with a shy smile, completely retreating back into her usual quiet self, a stark difference from the heated confidence that had run through her only hours before. Her eyes glimmered in the moonlight, a wide grin on her face as she buries herself back into his neck, his toned arms pulling her in tightly.

"I don't know if they'd even want me there, I should've called Mrs. Janet back, haven't responded in like two weeks."

Jake scoffs, pushing back a hair from her face.

"Don't even think like that. They're gonna be more excited to see you than me."

"Guess we'll find out." Honey pushes up from her spot next to Jake, sliding out of bed and slipping on new clothes before packing a small bag for the road. Jake watches from the bed, a smile across his face. He rests his hands behind his head, his blonde locks tossed about from their rendezvous. Honey turns to him once she's dressed.

"Are you gonna show up like that? Not that I mind this look, but your grandmother might have some issues with it." She laughs lightly, tossing him his now dry shirt. "You might want to get dressed, babe."

Honey stills and grows red when the nickname falls from her lips without any thought. She turns to Jake, his eyebrow furrowed humorously at the nickname, his right pointer finger beckons her closer. She stands next to him beside the bed, his hand pulling her in by the waist.

"Where did that come from?"

"I-I don't know," she admits bashfully. "B-But if you don't like it-"

"Baby, I more than liked it."

He pulls her closer, plopping her back into the sheets with him. She practically rests completely atop him. His hands move to pull up her shirt, his hands resting on her now bare waist. She makes note of his gaze darkening as he looks down at her, his arousal evident against her leg.

"Jake," her voice is a whisper. "We should really get on the road."

Jake smirks, his lips now kissing the sweet spot behind her ear.

"I'll get up as soon as you do."

Unable to resist one another, they were nearly another two hours before they got back on the road. After those hours and a ridiculously long drive back home to Haven, Honey now rested comfortably in the passenger side of Jake's her truck, Jake's thumb rubbing against her thigh. Both of them were incredibly tired from the prolonged trip, and more than ready to collapse into his childhood bed they'd shared for years. As Jake turned onto Seresin Farm Road, Honey felt her nerves kick in. Despite her excitement to return to the home that had nurtured her, she worried that she was going to be a burden for Janet and Jacob. She hadn't told either of them that she'd be coming home, and Jake hadn't either. She slid closer in the seat to Jake, her head resting on his arm. He looks down at her as they pass one of the many fields on the property.

"You alright, baby? You're lookin' a little out of it."

"M'fine, just nervous."

Jake's eyes cut down at her. "Nervous?"

"It's stupid, I know. I just, didn't tell anyone I was coming, and I don't want to be a burden to your grandparents."

"Honey, you're family. You don't have to let us know you're comin'."

Honey smiles, her nerves fading as the house comes into view. Jake parks the truck, the backwards baseball cap over his head covering his short, blonde locks completely. He cuts her a sly grin, a look of mischief drawn across his face.

"Want to really surprise them?"

Honey cocks her head, puzzled. Jake simply kisses her cheek and hops out of the truck, moving to open the door on her side. He comes to the front door, opening it and promptly hiding Honey behind his taller frame. He comes to the entrance of the kitchen, raising his finger to his lips as he leaves her only a few feet away in the foyer. She can hear his boots against the hardwood as he walks.

"Hey," he speaks simply, both Janet and Jacob Sr.'s eyes cutting to their grandson standing in their doorway.

"Jacob! You scared the devil outta me! Get over here!" Janet shuffles the towering young man into a hug after lightly chastising him.

"Sorry I'm late," Jake's voice is muffled against his grandmother's neck. "Had to make a detour and pick up a little surprise for you."

His grandmother pulls away, her eyebrows furrowed as she gives the blonde a questioning look. "Surprise?"

Jake sends her a blinding smile. He pokes his head around the corner, beckoning Honey forward with his pointer finger. Honey shakes her head as she approaches, and Jake slings his arm around her shoulder.

"Hi," Honey speaks quietly. Janet and Jacob Sr. both turn, smiles painting across their faces.

"Honey! Oh my, sweet girl, you did surprise us!" Janet's voice is bubbly as she shuffles over to her grandson's girlfriend, pulling her into a tight hug. "Oh! And look at that hair, it's just darlin' on you!"

Honey feels her heart hammer, and she has to swallow down her tears as the older woman embraces her. Jake's grandfather follows suit, and Honey can no longer stop the tears rolling down her face. Janet wipes them away with the back of her hand.

"You alright there, Hon?" Jacob Sr. fills her ears. Honey nods through her tears, crossing the kitchen back to Jake's arms. He pulls her close, kissing the crown of her head as her tears stain his shirt. Janet's eyes gleam as she sees the two being affectionate again. She had been so worried about them both being apart for so long.

"I'm fine, promise." Honey's voice wobbles slightly. "I'm just really, really happy to be home. I didn't want to be a burden, but, I-I've really missed you guys."

"Oh nonsense! I promise we're happy to have you home, sweetheart." Janet's own face wobbles with emotion. "Now, c'mon, I'm glad I waited to make desserts, now I've got double the help."

She shuffles her bowls of ingredients around on the counter and Honey pulls away from Jake, more than happy to lend a hand with making sweets. Jake slips out of the kitchen to allow them to share their moment, and finds himself lounging next to his grandfather in the living room.

The graying man peers up at him over his glasses, giving him a satisfied look.

"Smart move there, son."

Jake directs his eyes from the black and white film on the TV to his grandfather.

"What do you mean?"

"Bringin' Honey home, makin' things right with her. Me and your Granny learned real quick this place doesn't feel the same when you two aren't around."

Jake smiles, shocked by the amount of emotion behind his usually stoic grandfather's words. The older man only gives him a hint of a smile before focusing on his western movie again. Jake listens as he hears Honey's laughter from the kitchen, and for the first time in six months, he feels content. Exhausted from hours of driving and he and Honey's activities in her dorm, he falls asleep on the couch.

Later, after Honey and Janet have finished their baking for the night, Honey spots Jake sprawled across the sofa, his boots and hat abandoned at the end. She covers him up with the blanket that rests behind him, placing a kiss on his forehead. She hadn't intended to wake him, but his eyes popped open. He's not fully awake, still a little bleary eyed as his hands fumble for her torso.

"C'mon, J, you're tired. Let's go to bed."

"Hm, lead the way, baby."

That night, Jake sleeps with Honey under his chin, tucked comfortably into his hold as tightly as possible. He dreams of Honey vividly-although mundane and simple, his dreams are a comfort: them sitting placidly with one another as she reads and he looks on as her voice fills his ears. For the first time in nearly six months, both of them slept peacefully and deeply, in a way they never could without sleeping next to one another. Tomorrow, when the Texas sun blares through Jake's thin curtains, they'll both be thrown headfirst into holiday preparations. But tonight, under the same roof where their story had ended, it begins again: Honey, in Jake's arms, sleeping content and comfortable in the bedroom up the stairs.

-

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[steddiealltheway]

It’s been a while… but here’s a (long (oops)) ficlet :) tw: some blood.

 

Dustin calling after the whole mall incident wasn't really abnormal to Steve anymore. Sure, if two years ago before the whole monsters are real and they're living in Hawkins thing happened, Steve would have scoffed at the idea of some freshman boy calling him multiple times. But here he is, and, honestly, it was secretly one of the things he looked forward to - not that he would ever openly tell Dustin without some coercion. But this call is different... 

Different in the way that Dustin is screaming about Eddie Munson but not in awe. He sounds more on the verge of panicking, and if Steve didn't know better he would think the demo-somethings were back in Hawkins. But, something about a fight and Eddie needing help is the only message that gets through. 

And although it is Steve's day off and he slightly despises Eddie for no good reason, Steve finds himself racing to his car and making the familiar journey to the school.  

Eddie Munson. A loud mouth that would disrupt classes with jokes that were way funnier than Steve would ever like to admit. After graduation, Steve thought he would never think of Eddie again. Well, maybe in some fleeting ways whenever he saw a guy with long hair but... no, not at all. But then Dustin started high school and the Eddie in Steve's head and the Eddie Dustin kept talking about slowly and quickly turned out to be the same person. 

They had never directly interacted, just shared a few fleeting glances, nods, and maybe Steve had caught Eddie staring at him in high school a few times and maybe even shot him a smile. But that was only one time... maybe more than once, especially whenever Steve picked up the kids from the D&D sessions. 

But this time... a fight? What is Steve supposed to do? Was he supposed to bring ice or even show up at all? And what happens when he's forced to talk to Eddie? 

Steve takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair. Why is he so nervous? He hasn't felt this way since back when he first started talking to Nance. Which makes no sense. 

He takes another breath and focuses on the road. Or rather the small stretch of road slowly turning into a large parking lot. 

Steve parks and hopes that no one notices him as he makes his way inside the school. Luckily, it’s lunch time so a random person wandering around won’t be too strange. 

Steve ducks his head as he makes his way past a group of students and hopes no one recognizes the notorious fallen “King Steve.” As he rounds a corner and approaches an empty hallway Steve lets out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding in. He does not miss this school. 

Also, where is he going? Dustin really could’ve give him more information. It’s not like he’ll know exactly where… 

Steve knows exactly where to go. In fact, he already started walking there before he knew it. He’s only been to the room once or twice when Dustin and the other kids have stayed a little too close to their curfew or the one time Dustin dragged him in telling him he “had to see Eddie’s metal setup.”  

Steve had to admit that it was impressive, but he was more interested in the blush Eddie was trying to hide behind curly hair. Not because it meant something like that to Steve. It was just… just. Just that he was confused about what it meant?  

His racing thoughts are interrupted by the door in front of him. It’s familiar not in terms of actually seeing it, but because it runs through Steve’s thoughts often. Must be Dustin. 

Steve takes a deep breath and mutters, “Why the hell am I treating this like breaking into the Russian military base?” 

A groan from the other side of the door has Steve immediately shoving the door open.  

“You can’t be in he- Steve?” Dustin says and immediately runs to Steve and wraps his arms around him.  

“What’s going on?” Steve asks, squeezing the kid and glancing around. He finally spots Eddie on the floor with a dark blanket dramatically wrapped around his shoulders. Or maybe it’s a cape. Steve isn’t sure. His head is ducked down so Steve can’t see the damage. 

“Steve Harrington,” Eddie drawls out the name, and Steve nearly shivers. “Jason must’ve knocked a few screws loose because I thought you were just a figment of Dustin’s imagination. But here you are.” He glances up and Steve winces.  

It’s clear that Jason is right-handed with the way Eddie’s face is battered on the left side. It’s not nearly as bad as Jonathan, but Eddie definitely is going to be left with a black eye. There’s a small cut on his lip that is slowly leaking blood down Eddie chin, and Steve almost scoffs because it’s clear that Eddie is keeping the drop there for dramatic effect.  

The bell dismissing lunch rings and Dustin looks between Steve and Eddie panicking. Steve squeezes his shoulder and says, “Go to class, Henderson. Can’t miss a period of learning.” 

Dustin nods seriously at Steve then turns to Eddie. “You’re sure you’re okay here?” 

“Our beloved king is here to save the damsel in distress.” Eddie cracks a smile and winces. “Yes, you are dismissed.” 

Dustin nearly sprints out of the room, but stops when Eddie yells, “Wait!” He hesitates until Dustin turns back to him. “Thank you, Dustin.” 

Dustin smiles and goes to open the door. Steve stops him by prompting, “What do you say back?” 

“You’re welcome,” Dustin huffs then runs out the door. 

“He’s going to be the death of me,” Steve comments as the door closes. “But he’s a good kid, but don’t ever tell him I said that or-” 

“Are you here to finish the job or what?” Eddie asks, his voice cracking slightly. Steve turns and takes in the way Eddie’s usual confident smirk is gone. Instead, his lips are in a tight line as Eddie swipes at the blood on his chin. His other hand is tightly clutching the blanket cape wrapped around him. The look in his eyes is fearful as if he really thinks Steve is going to beat him up. 

Steve slowly approaches him with his hands up. “Hey, Eddie, I’m here to help. I promise.” 

Eddie looks just as on edge as Steve approaches him but he doesn’t look like he’s about to run. Steve sits down in front of him and glances around. He spots what looks like a wet washcloth on top of a bag of ice. “Does Henderson have some in with the nurse or something?” Steve lightly jokes. 

“He must,” Eddie comments, not looking at Steve.  

Steve nods to himself. He doesn’t know how to act around this Eddie, he’s used to the usual bravado and dramatics. Not that he minds this timid version of him, but he just wishes he would trust him more. 

He grabs the washcloth and holds it up to Eddie’s face slowly. Eddie flinches slightly but lets him slowly swipe at the blood collecting under his lip. Steve can’t help but stare at the full lips and wonder… 

He snatches the washcloth back and shakes his head. What is up with him? He grabs the ice next and wraps the washcloth around it. He makes sure to put the non-bloody part on the bruise next to Eddie’s eye. “Looks like you’ll have a bit of a black eye but nothing too bad. How’s your head though? Any signs of a concussion?” Steve asks gently, knowing that the headache after a concussion is killer. 

“Head is kind of fuzzy honestly, but I don’t think it’s the concussion,” Eddie comments quietly. Steve glances from where he’s pressing the ice against his head to Eddie’s eyes which are locked on him. Gosh, he’s gorgeous- or his eyes…. His eyes are gorgeous. Is that weird to think? 

Steve looks back at the ice and adjusts it. When Eddie winces, Steve grabs one of the hands gripping the cape and squeezes. “Sorry.” 

“Not your fault. Well, maybe by association a bit your fault. It’s like all you jocks trade in your brain for your horseplay,” Eddie says with a bit of a sneer. He seems to realize who he’s talking to and apologizes with a quick, “Sorry.” 

Steve shakes his head. “I wish I could blame sports for all my stupid decisions, but here I am. Not that coming here was a stupid decision. I just mean… in general.” 

Eddie takes a moment to stare at him before replying. “Maybe it was a bit of a stupid decision. I don’t really think a freak is worth all the fuss especially from a king.” 

Steve groans, “Please, I hate that nickname.” 

“Which one?” 

“Both of them,” Steve says seriously. Eddie continues to lock eyes with him and squints them as if he’s looking for something. “See something you like?” Steve flirts before realizing what he’s done. 

Eddie smiles and shakes his head. “Maybe you have changed.” 

Steve shrugs and looks down. “I’m trying, man.” He clears his throat when he notices out of the corner of his eye that Eddie is still staring at him. “So, Jason did this to you?” 

“Yes,” Eddie answers immediately, tone colder than before. He glances off if recalling what happened. 

Steve pulls the ice pack away from his cheek and sets it down. He runs his thumb gently over the bruise, feeling for any swelling. “Why’d he do it?” 

Eddie shrugs. “Thinks I’m trying to steal his girlfriend or something. Not my fault he’s too much of an asshole to listen to Chrissy. Also his fault for not realizing I’m ga-” Eddie cuts himself off and looks at Steve with pure panic in his eyes. “Just, forget I said that. Please. Don’t tell Dustin or any of the kids. Steve, please.” 

Steve realizes that he’s also frozen in place at the admission. It feels somehow different from Robin’s confession. It’s like he’s filled with… excitement? As if this opens an opportunity for something more. Steve takes a deep breath and tries to sort out his feelings. Gosh, it’s all so confusing. 

“Steve?” Eddie prompts gently. 

Steve realizes his hand is still on Eddie’s face, and he’s been staring at him during his whole internal panic. “Shit,” Steve says and pulls his hand back. “Yeah, of course. I won’t tell anyone, Eddie. I promise.” 

As Eddie sighs, Steve notices the cut on his lip that’s already begun to scab over. But then he can’t stop staring at his lips, and he feels… like he needs to kiss him. 

Steve looks up at Eddie and finally realizes what he’s been feeling… attraction. He takes a moment to glance over the boy and gets overwhelmed with the realization. 

Eddie’s gaze turns concerned and he gently taps Steve on the forehead and asks, “What’s going on in there?” 

“When did you know you were into guys?” Steve asks without hesitation. 

Eddie gives him a look then glances away. A soft blush appears on his cheeks. “Uh, it was a few years ago in high school. One of my friends in my band had a huge crush on a cheerleader, and he dragged me to a basketball game. And while he was watching the cheerleaders, I realized I was too interested in a certain basketball player…” Eddie trails off as if lost in thought. 

“Do I know them?” Steve asks feeling weirdly jealous. 

Eddie snorts. “Yes, you definitely know them.” 

Steve nods and hesitates. “Is it too much to ask who they are?” 

Eddie’s breath hitches before he answers, “Yes.” 

“It’s not Tommy, is it? Or Billy?” Steve asks before he can help himself. 

Eddie chuckles to himself. “No, I think you would be more disappointed to know the truth.” 

Steve tries to think. Who would be worse than Tommy or Billy? He glances back at Eddie as he thinks. He would put more ice on his face, but it’s turned to water at this point. Steve asks another question. “What about him made you realize?” 

Eddie looks at him in disbelief but thinks for a moment. “I think it was his smile whenever he or one of his teammates scored. Everyone used to say it was the hair, but it was the smile that I couldn’t take my eyes away from.” 

Steve nearly jealously asks who in the world had better hair than he did, but then it suddenly hits him. He looks at Eddie who stares at him with that same panicked look in his eyes. Steve runs a hand through his hair and asks, “Was it…” He trails off unable to finish the question but tries to by vaguely gesturing to himself.  

Eddie’s mouth opens, but he’s cut off by the bell ringing. Instead, he just nods. 

Steve’s heart soars, and in a moment of pure excitement he asks, “Eddie, what if you were that for me?” 

Eddie’s eyebrows furrow. “You don’t mean…” 

“Yes,” Steve insists and grabs at one of his hands and squeezes. 

Eddie’s eyes search Steve then flicker down to his lips. “Then… I would ask if you would kiss this cut better,” Eddie says while pointing to his lip with that usual confident smirk. 

Steve laughs but cups Eddie’s jaw gently. He quickly looks down at his lips, and he begins to lean in.  

The door slams open as Dustin sprints in. “Eddie! Are you okay?!” He yells.  

Steve jumps back, and replies, “He’s good! Just checking on the cut on his lip!” 

Dustin looks at Eddie and asks, “Are you sure you don’t want us to go after that asshole?” 

“Language,” Steve lectures as Eddie replies, “As much as I appreciate your bravery, I don’t need to be responsible for any beat-up children. But you can grab my stuff, so I don’t get detention for skipping.” 

Dustin immediately runs to Eddie’s notebook and lunch box and starts picking them up. Steve stands up and holds his hand out which Eddie immediately latches onto for Steve to pull him up. Eddie leans in as he comes up and whispers, “I’ll see you around, Steve. Thank you for everything.” 

Eddie steps back and grabs his things from Dustin. “Off to Hell,” Eddie announces dramatically as he walks out of the room. 

“Thanks, Steve!” Dustin yells as he follows Eddie out of the room. 

When the door closes, Steve takes a moment to himself and lets out a deep breath. First, he needs to talk to Robin. Next, he needs to figure out whether to punch Jason or thank him. Maybe both. 

[emisprocrastinatingbywriting]

To Break Free

Chapter Two Summary:

Joel Miller has been called many things in his life, but a party planner has never been one of them. However, with how things had been left between the two of you after your disastrous date night, the pressure is on. Meanwhile, across the street, the forces of life seem to be working against you, as a letter in the mail and a broken AC nearly convince you to call the whole thing off. Nevertheless, the show must go on and with sweat running down your back, you venture over to the house across the street in hopes that some socialization might distract you from the past.

Warnings: NoOutbreak!Joel Miller/Reader, Sarah and Ellie as siblings, Neighbour!Joel, The Miller Girls as Wingmen for Both Reader and Joel, Tommy Is a Little Shit, Angst and Tooth Rotting Fluff, Both Reader and Joel Want Each Other So Bad, Pining, Soft!Joel, Mentions of Past Relationship/Abuse (read with caution), Mentions of Imbalance of Power in Past Relationships (read with caution x 2).

A/N:

Hey y'all, welcome back! This chapter is a bit long but like my username suggests, it's the first week back after the break and I'm running from my responsibilities rn lol.

This chapter starts off from Joel's perspective and shows where he's at after everything that went down in chapter one. We also learn more about reader's past, particularly the ex that she is trying super hard not to think about. It does give some perspective as to why she is hesitant to start anything with Joel but also, we can see her struggling with that because they are both down bad. A bit of a warning for some of the memories reader goes through pertaining to her ex. No physical violence, but he definitly took advantage of her as her professor and was emotionally abusive. If that is something you are uncomfortable with, please take care of yourself and do not read. You could always message me for a sparknotes version of the chapter if you don't want to miss out.

Either way, don't worry, there is loads of angsty fluff and pining as well. These two want to fuck each other so bad in this chapter that it hurts lol. Enjoy! <3

Chapter 2/10

Chapter 2: The Barbecue

The chips were set out, the drinks buried in tubs of ice, plates of meat and veggies waiting in the fridge for their turn on the grill, yet he couldn’t stop pacing. The moment that the sunrise had peeked through his blinds that morning, Joel Miller had been up and running. He knew he was being ridiculous. Despite his hectic schedule and two teens, the Miller home was usually kept rather tidy. However, the second his feet had touched down on the main floor, all his anxious eyes could see was filth. When was the last time Joel had scrubbed the walls or vacuumed in between the couch cushions? He couldn’t remember, which led to him starting off his day with a needless scrub down of every nook and cranny that any reasonable person would neglect. 

Joel was being a bit much, he felt it in the glares that his daughters had both sent him at different points that morning due to his deranged scouring, but the usual embarrassment that came from their teasing was dwarfed by his nerves. Even when every surface in the house was practically sparkling from his efforts, he still couldn’t stop. Instead, Joel buried himself in the food preparations, further annoying his girls as he quizzed them on any food intolerances that any of his guests may have. By the time his worries about the food were soothed, after being reminded multiple times that they had already helped him write the list that he had brought with him to the grocery store, he was close to collapsing. 

Something was brewing inside of Joel, something that made all of the air rush out of his lungs,  that brightened the tips of his ears when his daughters teased him about it, that made him want to throw up when he thought about the last time he saw you. He had been stupid, so incredibly stupid that he had nearly had a panic attack when you left him on the porch that night. A migraine had gathered at the base of his skull after you bid him goodbye, forcing him to stumble home and collapse into bed with a frustrated huff. It was as if his brain was rejecting itself for bringing you any pain, betraying him for not being more careful with his words. 

In his defense, Joel had been barely conscious at the restaurant that night, nodding along to a trust fund baby nearly half his age prattling on about the luxury homes he wanted the company to pump out for him. As much as Joel tried to stay present for the sake of the cash he was getting waved under his nose, he was out of his element. It was Tommy who usually handled all of the schmoozing, giving the clients that million dollar customer service smile that the eldest Miller lacked. However, after a mix up with the scheduling that had left the more sociable brother severely overbooked, Joel had been forced to step up. 

“The thing is John, it’s John right? Anyways, I don’t want this to be a place for nobodies. This neighbourhood is going to be nice, a place where young families can go to be away from the rest of this dumpy town,” the client explained. 

Joel had smiled politely, though he couldn’t help but imagine strangling the smug prick with his skinny necktie. He had seen tons of developers like him over the years, flashy assholes who wanted nothing more than to build a ridiculously expensive neighbourhood that made everyone else’s rents go up. He hated the homes that his wealthier client base always wanted. They were all the same, luxury homes that were devoid of any life or warmth. Just once, Joel wanted to go back to the basics, to work on a place with a little bit of character or at least be allowed to paint the outside of the building something other than grey. But with this guy, he knew there wasn’t any chance. 

“I want the neighbourhood to look clean, ya know? And it can’t be trashy if all of the places look alike. Plus, with a fair price on the mortgages given how nice you’ll make it, we can make sure that the riff raff stays out,” the developer continued, his pointed words grating on Joel to no end. 

“Yeah, I think I get what you’re saying,” Joel sighed, swirling the little bit of whiskey left in the bottom of his glass. 

Joel suddenly wished he had taken a cab, maybe then he could have slammed enough drinks to make the meeting interesting enough to withstand. The client kept chattering, the sound of his nasally voice slowly blending into the upbeat hits that were making his ears ring. He thought about calling the whole thing off, wondering if he could ask for forgiveness from his brother later if he made up a good enough excuse. However, just as he was about to excuse himself with a fake family emergency, his eyes landed upon you. Or rather, they landed upon you with him. 

Jealousy had seeped into Joel’s chest as he watched the way your date’s hand had pushed against your space between your shoulders, leading you to the table with a wolfish grin plastered across his face. All of Joel’s coronary arteries constricted at that, the sight of you being pushed into the table by another man making him burn bright with rage. And yet, he couldn’t look away. The heels that made your legs look a mile long, the makeup that accentuated all of the features that had haunted him since your first day in town, the messy updo that showed off the gentle slope of your neck, were all so infuriatingly perfect. Infuriating especially because Joel knew that it wasn’t for him. 

Joel was jealous. He was jealous and he knew that it was stupid to feel that way. Afterall, he had only met you once. Christ, but what a meeting it had been, he thought to himself as he tried not to remember your damp body on display for him. However, no matter how hard he tried to remind himself that you were basically a stranger, that his stupid crush didn’t mean anything to you and shouldn’t, the green monster had been released. It clawed at the inside of his ribcage, tearing his heart to shreds the longer he stared at you all dolled up for another man. He had no claim over you and yet, the envy he felt towards your date had dug its talons into his soul and refused to let go. 

Nevertheless, the more time went on, the more antsy Joel became. Something was off, he saw it in the way you squirmed uncomfortably in your chair, or how you began to shrink even further into your seat each time your date rushed off to the bathroom. It was only after the dickhead had shuffled back over for a third time that Joel truly understood what was going on and with you suddenly on the verge of tears, flashing the man across from you a forced grin, he was enraged. 

“Anyways John, I’m sure your company will do fine. I’ve talked to your brother a bit. He seems more uh…  my speed. I’ll get my secretary to send over the paperwork to him and then we can get started, okay?,” the younger man had asked him, stretching his hand out for him to take. 

“Yep, sounds good man,” Joel answered, quickly shaking the hand outstretched to him. 

The client had said his goodbyes after that, likely not wanting to sit and socialize with the gruff contractor that had begun to actively ignore him. Quite frankly, Joel didn’t care what the guy thought of him. His work spoke for itself. Plus, he would make his apologies later if need be but at that moment, he had bigger fish to fry. 

Although the jealousy that Joel had felt was still there, flaring up every time his eyes raked over your beautifully done up figure, the edges of it had softened as the minutes ticked by. That man, whoever he was, was a certified asshole. Aside from the frequent trips to the bathroom, with each return making your date’s vice of choice more obvious than before, Joel couldn’t help but notice how silent you had become. Distress practically rolled off of your tense shoulders, reaching out to him from across the room and thickening the lining of his throat until he felt like he might burst out into tears himself if something wasn’t done. 

Joel had willed himself to yell out, to beg you to speak up from his seat at the bar. He wanted to see you rip your date a new one and walk out with your pretty head held high, but none of that came to pass. Instead, his heart had gotten heavier and heavier as you got smaller and smaller, until he at last couldn’t take it anymore. 

Before your date had even fully left the table for his final bathroom trip of the night, Joel was already halfway out of his seat. He slammed down a wad of bills for his drink before he left, not even looking at the ridiculous amount he had left the bartender as he hurried towards the other end of the room. His sole focus was the beautiful woman whose eyes were glossed over as she bounced off of the service staff with the grace of a newborn deer, trying and failing to keep it together as the rich pricks around her failed to hide their amusement. 

“Oh honey,” Joel groaned under his breath as he spied your purse still slung over your chair, quickly switching paths so that you wouldn’t have to go through the embarrassment of returning for it after your frazzled escape. 

Everything that had come afterwards had happened so fast that it was practically a blur to him now. Although, your teary eyed face was burned into Joel’s memory, still beautiful yet so raw as you tried to keep from balling in front of him when he finally caught up to you outside. And then came the punch he had launched at your date, an act of violence that was so out of character for a man his age, a man that had given up bar fights the second his first child had slid into the world, that he didn’t even know what to think. That ride home had been tense, with him trying not to freak out over the snap decision while he drove you home, terrified that it might get back to his kids somehow as you sniffled and sighed beside him. 

It was at a red light that Joel had finally made up his mind about the incident. As he watched you try to wipe the smeared eyeliner off of your face, eyes red as a fresh wave of tears ruined your progress, he decided that he didn’t regret the punch one bit. How dare that asshole make you, or any woman for that matter, feel so horrible. The woman he had met a month prior had been tired, a bit sad even, but not diminished. There had been a flicker of light in your eyes, one that Joel hoped to stroke into a roaring flame someday if you gave him a chance, but in that moment it had all but vanished. And the longer he had sat in his truck that night, listening to you trying to breathe through your distress, the more he wanted to rain hellfire down on anyone who ever made the mistake of hurting you. 

“Fuck’s sake,” Joel hissed, coming back to the present as hot water suddenly scalded his hands. 

Dropping the glass he was scrubbing back into the soapy water, Joel placed both of his hands on the edges of the sink and sighed. He had tried not to let himself think about it since that night, about how hard he wanted to punch any man who made you frown like that. And that moment, with the way things had ended on Thursday, he was at the top of his own list. 

Joel needed to make things right with you, he needed it like the air he breathed. For a month he had run to the front windows every time he heard the tell tale signs of your clunky Honda making its way back home, hoping to catch a glimpse of the goddess next door. And now, with the events of your date night still fresh in his mind, along with his piss-poor excuse for an apology the previous morning, he was close to driving to the coast and walking straight into the ocean. Joel sighed, growing more disgruntled by the second. He needed to make things right with you, lest he be doomed to pining for you from afar and getting teased by his family members until you inevitably met a more handsome man that he would be unreasonably jealous of. 

“Look, I really appreciate what you did for me today. I know that this was not how you probably wanted to spend your Thursday, but you don’t have to stay. I’m fine, everything is great. You can go back to the people you’ve got and I’ll go back to… Uh, this,” you had laughed bitterly, gesturing towards the empty house, “I mean, this is all I’ve got, right?” 

Joel Miller was not the best at expressing himself, that much was glaringly obvious. But your words, the way you had thanked him for something he had done on his volition while simultaneously disparaging yourself, had taken him completely off guard. It was preposterous, the thought of someone like you having nothing in your life other than the fixer upper you went home to at the end of the day. 

If only you knew how much the girls adored you, practically gushing about the interesting woman that they cornered at every turn and forced into movie nights. Or, how Joel greedily sucked up any tidbit of information about you they sprinkled into their stories, cataloging everything he learned in case he may one day get the chance to use it. Whether you knew it or not, you had the Miller clan under lock and key, especially their patriarch. Though, given the fact that he had gone AWOL since your first day in Austin, he understood why you wouldn’t think to include him on your list of friends. 

The last month of work had been tough. With the school year coming to a close and summer biting at his ankles, the company was set for a busy season of jobs and Joel had been running around like a chicken with his head cut off to keep up with the preparations. Each morning, he was gone at an ungodly hour, barely managing to wait for the coffee to brew most days. Still, that didn’t mean that Joel wasn’t looking for you in all that time, that he didn’t long to be in your presence again. The few glimpses he caught of you after work made his day and he found himself dreaming about the sundresses you wore or the way the light made your hair shine. Even his girls, as quick as they were to tease him about everything under the sun, had shifted their tact from razzing him to outright begging him to do something about his obvious attraction. In their words, he was getting downright pathetic. 

“What’s got your head in the clouds?,” Tommy teased, his brother’s loud voice rudely snapping him from the thoughts that were unsurprisingly centered around you. 

“New lady just moved in across the street, he’s in loooove,” Ellie singsonged, words muffled around a mouth full of the cookie dough that she had snagged from the freezer. 

“Say it, don’t spray it kiddo,” Joel grunted, shaking his head at his daughter as she opened her mouth in defiance, showcasing all of her unchewed food before she flipped him off. 

“S’that right? Well I’ll be, you didn’t tell me you were seeing anybody,” his brother laughed. 

Joel sighed, suddenly wondering if it had been a good idea to invite you over. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you in his home, filling it with laughter and warmth as you left traces of your delicious perfume on hopefully every surface. Having you over was probably his greatest desire, second only to the far off fantasy of his crappy attempts at being funny being the reason you were laughing so hard, but he couldn’t help his own nerves. What if you didn’t have fun? What if Tommy said something embarrassing? What if you thought his home was a dumpster fire? What if too many people came? What if his girls told you about the stupid crush that he so obviously harbored? And worst of all, what if you never showed? 

That last one was what Joel feared the most. He hadn’t meant to imply that you didn’t have anybody and yet, that was how it came out. The breakfast and the note he had left was a cheap apology, but he couldn’t think of what else to do. He was so sure that you would leave his gift on the porch to rot, perhaps even text him a long winded message that amounted to a succinct fuck you, but instead he had been surprised by a short thank you message, followed by a question about what time the event started. Joel had answered the text with shaky hands, buzzing with excitement and terror as he tried to answer as casually as he could. With all the information you could ever need, even with his many nerve induced spelling errors, there was no reason for you not to come. However, that didn’t mean that he wasn’t going to worry about it. 

“Leave him be guys, he looks like he’s going to barf,” Sarah chastised as she strolled into the kitchen, drawing a few laughs from the rest of his family. 

“Christ almighty, m’not gonna barf. Worry about yourselves,” Joel groaned, praying for any higher power to smite him before his nausea proved her wrong. 

Nobody answered him, preferring instead to give each other amused looks as Joel returned to scrubbing the dishwasher spots from all of his best glasses. With how many red solo cups he had on hand in case any of the adults preferred a mixed drink instead of the sodas, beers, and coolers he had on deck, the quick scrub down was pointless but his brain couldn’t stop playing the what if game. Like what if all of the plastic cups got used up by the time you arrived and you were forced to drink out of one of his? The last thing Joel wanted was for you to see all the little white specks. That was careless. It was less than you deserved. And he couldn’t allow that. 

“Dad, you need to chill out. The place looks great, we’ve got way too much food and drinks, and there will be plenty of people here to talk you up. Everything is going to be fine, I promise. She’s gonna have a great time,” Sarah said, nudging him away from the sink so she could finish up. 

“I’m not, that’s not -,” Joel cleared his throat, “That’s not what this is. I just want everyone to feel at home. Is that such a crime? Everyone deserves to have a good time. I-I need to make things right with uh - with everyone. Why is that so hard for you guys to understand?” 

Joel winced at his own transparency. He was usually better at hiding his love life from his family, if the flings he had over the years even counted as such. But you were different. He didn’t want you to be like the rest, he wanted you all to himself. Alas, he probably wasn’t even on your radar yet, which meant that claiming that you were a part of his love life was false. 

“Right, well if you’re trying to impress everyone, then you should probably put in a little bit more effort than that, old man. Can’t be letting everyone think that you dress like a friggin’ slob,” Ellie suggested, her eyes raking up and down his figure in disapproval. 

Joel balked, looking down at his outfit. He hadn’t even thought about what he was going to wear, too busy tearing through his house like a madman for any spec of dirt he could find. It wasn’t like dressing up was really his thing anyways. Most of his days were spent in beaten up work clothes or the sweatpants he threw on at the end of the day but he wanted to do better, even though he couldn’t remember the last time he had spruced himself up for a lady, much less one that had infiltrated his brain like you had. 

“Hmmm yeah, and everyone would also probably appreciate it if you showered first. You’re a bit too rank right now to be pulling any moves on everyone, unless of course your goal is to make them gag,” Sarah chuckled as she placed the last glass back into the cupboard. 

As much as Joel wanted to argue, they had a point. With sweat darkening nearly every inch of his shirt, his curls in disarray, and his body odor souring even the inside of his own nostrils, he was truly disgusting. His eyes snapped towards the clock, lips forming a grim line as he saw the time. One hour. He had one hour before people, perhaps even you, started pouring into his home. How in the hell was he supposed to shower, find something decent to wear, figure out what to do with his hair, and have one last meltdown, all before you arrived? 

“There’s an outfit laid out on your bed, compliments of your two loving daughters who got woken up by your loud-ass cleaning spree this morning. Don’t change a thing about it, just put it on when you’re out of the shower and then fix your hair. Go,” Sarah commanded him. 

“What? C’mon, I can dress myself!,” he halfheartedly protested, earning him a look from everyone in the room. 

“Yeah, yeah, you can thank us after you ask her out,” Ellie chuckled, slapping him on the back as she swerved past to pilfer through the freezer once more. 

Joel sighed, trying not to let his utter embarrassment overwhelm him as he started towards the stairs. 

“Fine, just don’t be getting into the appetizers while I’m gone,” Joel announced, turning back to give them all a look before he started to climb the steps. 

The half assed grunts of acknowledgement that Joel got in response were not encouraging, but he was too flustered to care. He took the stairs two at a time, needing to get as much distance between him and his family before he threw himself off the roof. By the time he got back to his room, he was so turned around that he could barely figure out how to get the shower going and almost ripped the faucet off the wall in his haste. Even still, the only thing that kept him sane in that moment, despite all of his panic induced spiraling, was you. 

Joel didn’t know you. He didn’t know your favourite ice cream, or if you had broken any bones as a kid, or even why you had decided to work in a library of all places, but he wanted to. God, he wanted to know you so badly that it was driving him crazy. The way your energy bounced off of his in the few moments he had with you so far, reviving the small pieces of him that had been chipped away from years of focusing on his work, on raising his daughters, on keeping the past at bay for his family’s sake, made him feel like he was finally coming back to himself. 

Every piece reborn made him want to try a little more, until Joel was foolishly ready to lose all of his senses and beg you to let him be your one and only. It was much too soon for anything like that, but being in your presence was like touching a livewire, like reading a book by a warm fire, like freefalling through the sky, like falling into bed at the end of a long day. It was as terrifying and exciting, as it was calming and gentle, and Joel wanted more. Scratch that, he needed more. 

So, as Joel hurried under the lukewarm spray, scrubbing any trace of his hectic morning off of his body, he tried hard to not to think about all of the things that could go wrong. You would come, you would have fun, and Joel would be as charming as someone like him possibly could. Then maybe, just maybe, you might forget about his previous blunders and give him a second chance. Who knows, he thought to himself, sighing as he tried to remember the last time he had been so obsessed, a man could hope. 

- You - 

The fan was a stupid idea, especially with how downright disgusting your house had become as the hours ticked by, but what else could you possibly do? Your air conditioner, the beautiful beast that had served you for almost eleven years, had finally petered out and died at some point the previous night. Already curled up in bed, you hadn’t noticed until early that morning, when you woke up cranky and covered in sweat, the Texas heat oozing through all of your big and beautiful windows. Despite all of the tutorials online, the damn thing refused to work, leaving you with no other choice than to cook inside all day. 

The morning had been tough, especially when a letter from someone you hoped to never hear from again came in the mail. Sighing as you felt how light it was, you abandoned it on the counter, not wanting to ruin the day before it had even begun. Nothing with him had ever been easy and you sighed, kicking yourself for believing that he would actually sign the divorce papers you had sent in the mail. Nevertheless, you decided to ignore how the unopened letter made you feel, choosing instead to focus on the day ahead. 

With thoughts of Joel and his utterly confusing yet exciting presence running through your mind, you refused to let him rain on your parade. Across the street there was a handsome man who had first rescued you from back breaking labor during your move, and then later one of the worst dates you had ever been on. A man who, much to your dismay as a newly single woman for the first time in ten years, intrigued you to no end. You spent the entire day basically vibrating from excitement, counting the seconds until you could start getting ready. 

A half hour before the barbecue was set to start, you jumped into the shower, hoping that a toe curling icy shower would help you race through your makeup routine without acquiring too much sweat. And yet, after five minutes of shaking from the cold, your limbs had slowly but surely thawed out. No matter how speedy your usual makeup routine was, there was no escaping the heat that caused it to melt off of your face. 

Spraying yet another heavy layer of setting spray, you sighed. You had done your best given the circumstances. Despite the sweat that clung to your hairline, along with the annoying last minute outfit change after your first dress had become drenched in sweat, you looked okay. Not as great as you had originally hoped, but not awful. That had to count for something you supposed. 

“Goddammit,” you sighed, already regretting your decision to accept Joel’s invitation. 

As you stood in front of the mirror, fixing the straps on the pink sundress that showcased an appropriate amount of cleavage and hugged your curves just right, you couldn’t help but feel a bit silly. It was a barbecue, a family friendly event that Joel had invited you to, just as any friendly neighbour would. And yet, there you were, dolled up and sweating. At least if he had invited you out of some sort of neighbourly obligation, he probably wouldn’t notice how disheveled you were. 

It was that thought that got you through the door and across the street. Joel Miller was trying to be a friend, and surely a friend wouldn’t care about another friend’s sweaty face on a day as hot as this one. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself as you knocked on the door, ignoring the way your heart pounded alongside the music you could hear coming from the backyard. It sounded packed inside, much busier than any typical barbecue, and you suddenly longed for the comfort of your own home again. When nobody came, you stood there in silence for a few more seconds, biting your lip as you debated retreating back to safety. However, all of your escape plans were foiled when a curly haired teen yanked the door open. 

“Hey - oh shit,” Sarah cussed, concern trickling into her tone. 

“What? What is it?,” you asked quickly, stomach twisting as her eyes examined every inch of your face. 

Heart pounding, you ripped open your purse, pulling out a compact so that you could have a look at the damage. It was only then that you saw the travesty that the heat had created. The once nearly acceptable look was literally melting off of your face from the heat, creating a mess that even the kindest of strangers would be hard pressed to ignore. You looked like a clown that had gotten jumped, and given the sounds of the lively party going on behind the teen, you suddenly felt like one too. 

“Shit, what the hell happened to you?,” Ellie exclaimed, popping up from behind her sister. 

“I-I um, my AC broke and I couldn’t -,” you sighed, suddenly wishing you had never come in the first place. 

“Oh my god, shut up Ellie! Do you think she needs to hear that right now?! Ugh, you’re as clueless as Tommy sometimes,” Sarah groaned, roughly shoving her sister’s head out of the doorframe,“Get out of here, would you? Go distract dad so I can sneak her upstairs. We’ve got some work to do.” 

“Oh, you really don’t have to…” 

Sarah’s gaze turned back towards you, playful yet pointed as she examined the state of you. Wordlessly she raked her eyes up and down your rumpled form, cocking her eyebrow as if to say really? Heat crept up your neck, a small laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation bubbling up from within as you watched Ellie soldier off in search of her father. It didn’t take long for her to find him apparently, as Sarah was soon rushing you up the stairs and into her room before anyone could see your disheveled state. 

Although most of the original makeup had to be wiped off, you had to admit that the girl had a talent for eyeliner, and even managed to corral your sweaty strands back into a cute braid that kept it from sticking to the sides of your face. When Sarah was done you looked different, like yourself but slightly elevated. The makeup was a lot simpler than what you would normally do but it looked good, cute even. 

“What do you think? I know it’s nothing fancy, but I think you look really pretty like this,” Sarah chirped, the hope evident in her voice. 

You smiled back at her in the mirror, chest tight with emotion as you did. Maybe your only friends at the moment were two teenage girls but damn, were they better company than the vultures you had been friends with before coming to Austin. The friends you used to have would have gladly let you stumble through the party downstairs with your face basically dripping down down to your neck, but not the Miller girls. They had helped and much to your dismay, the eldest had even done a better job at fixing up your face than you had. 

“It’s beautiful Sarah, I love it,” you said truthfully, giving her arm a squeeze as you turned around, “Thank you for this, I was getting ready to run home and bar the windows.” 

“Eeek! Okay good,” she squealed, shaking your shoulders in excitement, “Now you can go meet everyone. Ugh, but you should probably go see dad first. He’s been asking us every two seconds if you’ve shown up yet. It’s like dude, she’s coming just give her some time to walk across the street before you freak out.” 

“Y-Your dad asked about me?,” you asked lightly, trying and failing to keep it cool. 

Sarah raised her eyebrows at that, her knowing look making you want to bury your head in the pillows and scream. The last thing you needed was for the stupid crush you had on Joel Miller to become public knowledge, much less the knowledge of one of the most chattiest people you knew. 

“Oh big time. He’s been losing his mind about having you here since Friday morning,” she said with a sly grin, “Pretty much turned the house inside out this morning trying to get everything perfect. Hell, I don’t think I’ve ever seen Dad so excited about having people over. He usually hates it but he got so nervous that he let Uncle Tommy be in charge of the guest list.” 

You didn’t answer, too busy trying to control the visceral reaction your nervous system was having to her comment. Joel Miller had been freaking out… over you? That couldn’t be right, not when you had spent the last month convincing yourself that he was a figment of your imagination, or the past 24 hours trying to convince yourself that he was nothing but an overly friendly neighbor. 

“I - um… I don’t…,” you trailed off, not sure what to say. 

Sarah waved you off, holding out her hand to you instead with a comically wide grin. 

“Come on, let’s get down there.” 

-

The barbecue had turned into a bit of a house party in the time it had taken Sarah to fix you up. The house was filled with neighbours mingling with construction crews, kids playing games in the pool out back, and rowdy family members that seemed to be very interested in meeting you. Tommy was the first one you met after he caught Sarah trying to sneak you past. He was kind, seemingly familiar with everyone, and comfortable enough to give you a hug so forceful that it nearly knocked you off balance. It was a stark contrast to the more reserved way Joel carried himself, but it was refreshing nonetheless. His girlfriend, Maria, was less boisterous than him but no less kind, and you soon found yourself at long last conversing with adults your own age who didn’t seem like absolute assholes. 

As the pair asked you about your career, education, even the home improvements you planned to do on the bungalow across the street, you felt uncharacteristically at ease. The two of them listened dutifully while you talked, while both of the Miller girls filtered in and out of the conversation as some of their friends showed up. And in turn, you listened to their stories, smiling through every tale that included the southern stud that had eluded you thus far. 

Through their stories, you learned that the eldest Miller had once been a swimmer, that he needed glasses terribly but refused to wear them, and that he used to be in a shitty garage band when he was younger. Their stories helped humanize the confusing man. Instead of remaining the handsome stranger who had come to the rescue, he was suddenly the guy who used to shave all of his body hair in highschool so he could get the best time score at swim meets, the guy who gets his daughters to read the fine print on pretty much everything, the guy who once grew his hair out and sang at smoky bars throughout Texas. He was just a regular guy, albeit a handsome and thoughtful one, but a regular guy nonetheless. That comforted you to no end. 

“Aw look, here comes trouble,” Tommy called out, interrupting his own juicy story about the time his brother had been kicked out of his own show for swinging on a guy in the crowd that had grabbed one of the waitresses. 

“If I’m trouble, then you’re a goddamn villain Tomcat,” Joel drawled, flicking the brim of his brother’s hat as he did. 

“Fuck you,” Tommy laughed, dodging another flick as he retreated back to Maria’s side. 

“I see you found your way,” Joel said to you, his eyes meeting yours for the first time since the disastrous date night just two nights prior. 

You really wished Joel would stop looking at you like that. His eyes peered past your exterior, sinking deep into your soul as you took him in all of his glory in. The form-fitting jeans he had chosen, the white t-shirt that fit over his meaty biceps just right, the way his hair was pushed back from his face, the smell of his spicy cologne, was all enough to make someone as neglected as you faint. 

You bit your bottom lip, trying not to swoon as you felt Joel’s eyes slide over your body, zeroing in on the way the pink fabric clung to the curves he had seen bare a little over a month ago. He looked just handsome as he had that day, the slight adjustments to his attire only adding to his usual sexy self. And with the heat of his stare scalding every inch of your body, covered or not, you knew that you’d happily give him another peek the second he asked. 

“Yeah I mean, hard to get lost when it’s right across the street,” you awkwardly joked, earning a few chuckles from the group. 

But Joel didn’t laugh, he just smiled at you, all of the lines in his face smoothing over as he did and you couldn’t help but stare. His mustache was trimmed to perfection, beautifully framing the pouty set of lips that stretched around the grin he gave you. A funny feeling trickled into your lower belly as you stared at his plush mouth, tightening the muscles between your thighs until you were throbbing there. Heart pounding in your chest, you snapped your eyes back up to meet his, knowing that if you stared at his lips any longer, you would be doing something utterly moronic like launching forward to kiss him. Dizzied and drunk off of his heady scent and hypnotic stare, you were frozen, wanting nothing more than to place your hands on the broad expanse of his chest despite the fact that his family was quietly watching the exchange from mere inches away. 

“Good, m’glad you came darling,” he said quietly, almost like he was admitting something he wasn’t supposed to. 

“Really?,” you squeaked. 

A guffaw came from behind you. 

“Christ, the girls are right. You two are really something else,” Tommy piped up, shattering the bubble of solace that the two of you had built. 

Joel’s face twisted in annoyance, the tips of his ears going bright red as he glowered at his brother. The youngest of the Miller men just laughed and rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around Joel’s shoulders so he could playfully shake him. 

“Ya know what? I think that grill is getting pretty lonely out there. Why don’t you two go check on the grub? Joel can flip ‘em and you can make sure he don’t burn nothing,” Tommy suggested, giving his brother a slap on the back for good measure before he released him. 

“Oh um, yeah sure,” you stammered, unsure of what else to say. 

The thought of being alone with Joel was daunting but with the way he stared at you even when you looked away, the heat of his gaze hot against the side of your face, you decided that you were game for any activity involving him. 

“S’fine, you don’t have to help me sweetheart. I can handle it just fine if you wanted to mingle a bit,” Joel said quickly, the urgency in his tone making you frown. 

Did Joel not want to hang out with you? Was the thought of spending time with you that awful? Your stomach roiled, dread leaking in through the cracks in your chest and poisoning the hopefulness that had taken root there. Given your many years living in the city, you couldn’t exactly say that you were a pro at barbecuing, but you were willing to try if it meant you could bask in his attention for a bit longer. You sighed, letting all of hopes of getting a moment alone with him drain out of you, shoulders sagging in disappointment. It made sense that Joel didn’t want you out there. Afterall, why would he want to awkwardly stand outside and make nice with the crazy woman across the street that was in constant need of assistance? 

“I don’t have to if you don’t uh - if you don’t want me to. Doesn’t matter to me, I could just stay in here if that’s better for you,” you rushed out, trying to ignore just how much it really did matter for some reason. 

“Course I want you to.” 

Your head snapped up, eyes meeting his again and finding nothing but truthfulness behind them. Something warm and thick bloomed deep inside your belly, blossoming up towards your chest until you were sure butterflies were about to start pouring from your mouth the next time you spoke. Joel stepped closer, holding out one of those big hands that you had been imagining between your thighs. Looking up, you saw the same hope you felt mirrored back in him and you didn’t hesitate to give him your hand, happily allowing him to whisk you away from his family. 

The warmth of Joel’s rough palm was soothing, along with the way he pulled you closer to him as he weaved throughout the crowd. It was as if he was shielding you from everyone else, keeping you safe from the construction guys who were drinking beers and talking sports, or the drunken neighbours in the kitchen that were doing jello shots that someone had brung. He even pulled you against him for a moment as a few of the neighbourhood kids scampered by, trapping you between his chest and the wall to keep you from getting soaked by the water guns that their parents were yelling at them to take back outside. His frame pressed against yours, his eyes vigilant as he timed his next move amidst the chaos. You tried not to react when he looked down at you for a moment, stealing all the breath from your lungs as his nose bumped against yours accidentally but just as you thought that your protector might finally devour you, he was on the move again. 

When Joel finally reached the patio door, you were three sheets to the wind, completely drunk off of him and praying that he would never let go of your hand again. But alas, with the heat of Austin in full swing and the pool filled with families, there was no reason for him to keep holding it any longer. With no other crowds to conquer, Joel dropped your hand, breaking the connection that was sending a thrill up your spine so he could check on the food. 

“Alright, so what’s the game plan?,” you asked shakily, trying to break the tension as you skipped up beside him. 

“Game plan?,” Joel repeated, sounding incredulous as he turned to look at you with a toothy grin,“What d'ya mean?”

“The game plan! Your brother designated me as number two on the grill and I’ll have you know that I take my duties extremely seriously,” you said with a mock salute. 

He snorted and shook his head at your antics, “S’that right? Well, how about you hand me that meat thermometer and we can see just how cooked these bad boys are.”

“Yes sir.” 

It was meant as a joke really, another cheeky remark for Joel to snort over. However, as you watched his spine go rim rod straight, his dark gaze piercing through you as he turned to take you in, you saw the error in your choice of phrase. Although his cheeks were dusted with a light shade of pink, a bit of embarrassment reddening the high points of his distinguished face, his eyes were downright ravenous. A memory trickled into your mind, one where those same eyes had nearly swallowed you whole as they took in every inch of your nude body, and although the pretty sundress you had chosen was secured to your frame, you suddenly felt just as naked under his gaze as you had that day. 

Was Joel thinking about your first meeting? God, you hoped so, and you tried to imagine what he would look like in a similar situation. Would Joel race to pick up his towel, apologizing as he tried to cover up his gloriously nude form? Or would he have the same problem as you did, would he be unable to move under your stare despite the aching cock below his navel? And the more you imagined the roles reversed, the more you realized that Joel should be commended for his restraint. If you had seen him in that state, his body still damp and his cock hard, your response would have been to climb him like a tree. 

Joel licked his lips, sighing quietly before he shook his head at the look you gave him. He felt it too, whatever was growing between you, flowering under the hot sun as your neighbours bobbed in the pool just meters away. The swimmers were the only thing keeping the two of you in check, both sets of hands twitching at their sides like they were resisting the urge to grab one another. Another few moments passed, moments where you stared at each other through thinly veiled lust, before Joel finally turned away. He ran his hands through his hair a few times, messing up the carefully gelled curls in a way that you found incredibly endearing before he sighed and nodded towards the thermometer within your reach. 

“Fuckin’ trouble,” you heard him mumble under his breath, which made you giggle a bit. 

“Hm maybe, but I think you like that about me Miller,” you shot back with a wink as you handed him the thermometer. 

Joel looked over at you again, making you freeze in place. His expression made you feel like his prey in the best way possible. Like any cheeky comment or seductive wink might cause him to break and throw you over his shoulder like some sort of caveman, stomping upstairs so that he could have his way with you despite the guests. Time slowed, the cacophony of noises coming from the party softened by the buzzing energy growing between you. He stepped into your space, his overwhelming presence growing ten times larger as his hulking frame towered over you again and you had to remind yourself to breathe. 

The two of you were practically nose to nose when Joel leaned down, getting so close that you could see the flecks of a lighter brown, almost hazel, mixed in with the rest of the melted chocolate. He was bold, brazen in his powers of seduction as he watched you quiver from the proximity. Those big puppy dog eyes searched yours, the corners of his mouth turning upwards ever so slightly when he found whatever it was he was looking for. Perhaps he could sense just how drenched the gusset of your panties were from simply being in his presence. You didn’t care if he did, especially since his own interest was as clear as day. 

“I do like it,” Joel admitted, his voice so soft that you almost thought you dreamt it. 

A shaky breath was released from you as you shifted a tad bit closer, the blazing heat of Joel’s chest so enticing that you boldly placed both of your hands on his chest. He didn’t react at first, other than the tiniest hitch of his breath that you would have missed if you weren’t literally touching him, but then he moved. Two big burly arms wrapped around you, one hand resting at the small of your back and pushing you closer while the other gripped your hip, his gaze remaining steady as ever regardless of the embrace. 

“Joel,” you whispered, not trusting your voice as a surge of want burned through the both of you like wildfire. 

Surely Joel felt the way you shook under him, the nerves mixing with pure excitement as your eyes begged him to do something, anything. He studied your face, a deep flush creeping down his neck as the two of you stayed locked in an embrace that was somehow more intimate than any kiss you had experienced in your entire life. And Joel seemed to sense this, his arms holding you a bit tighter until you calmed from the overwhelming surge of emotions that his welcome touch tore from you. When the shakes were gone, laid to rest by the same man that had started them, all that remained was yearning for him, for Joel. 

“I know sweetheart, I know,” Joel whispered, the hand on your hip moving up to brush a few errant strands of hair from your face, “I can feel it too.” 

The admission struck you hard, making your eyes widen despite your best attempts to play it off. Joel felt it too. What did he mean by that? Did he daydream about you while he was at work too? Did he wonder what your voice sounded like in the mornings? Did he lay in bed at night, rubbing himself raw to the thought of you fucking the shit out of him? That last part sounded like a stretch but based on the heat gathering between you, along with the way his eyes periodically flicked downwards to take in the sight of your heaving breasts, maybe it wasn’t as far off as you had once thought. 

“Joel! How much longer for the - Oh shit, well howdy there to you too neighbour! Looks like the two grill masters are getting along just fine out here by themselves,” Tommy hollered, his jab getting a round of raucous laughter from inside. 

The Miller house was equipped with many things that made it beautiful, one thing being a sliding glass door to the backyard that the two of you were standing in front of. With the rest of the party turned towards you with shit eating grins, along with the intimate embrace on full display for what felt like the entirety of Austin, you suddenly wanted nothing more than to sink through the cracks in the boards below and cease to exist. The heat that you had felt when Joel touched you shifted into something much more menacing, something cruel and embarrassing, something that made you feel like you were miles away and being put on display for the millionth time by the man you had once thought loved you. 

“Don’t,” Joel barked at his brother, his authoritative tone leaving no room for discussion as he slowly retracted himself. 

Tommy’s face fell, a curious look in his eyes as they flickered between the two of you. After a moment, the younger man held his arms up in mock defense, earning an annoyed huff from the man beside you. Although everyone inside had already moved on from the announcement, you shifted closer to Joel, using his large frame as a cover from the heavy weight of shame that had been programmed into you for years. 

“My bad y’all, it was a stupid joke,” Tommy said apologetically, scratching at the back of his head awkwardly, “Maria just sent me out to check on how long the food should be. She was gonna send the girls out to set up the salads and shit when you’re ready.” 

“Send ‘em out in five minutes or so,” Joel grunted, annoyance laced through every single syllable, “Shouldn’t be long.” 

With that, Tommy disappeared back inside, leaving the two of you alone again. You bit your lip as you watched him go, trying to see if anyone else was still leering at you from within the house but everyone seemed too busy chatting with each other to pay any attention to either of you. Sighing, you relaxed a bit. At least this neighbourhood moved on quicker than your last one.  

“M’sorry about that sweetheart. Tommy doesn’t mean any harm but he’s just…,” Joel sighed and shook his head, “He’s not the best at reading the room. Embarrassing ya probably wasn’t his goal, he just never knows where the damn line is.” 

“It’s… It’s okay, I just don’t really like being in the spotlight like that, ” you said softly, still feeling a bit antsy despite your best attempts at calming your racing heart, “Don’t worry about me, I’m fine. I know that Tommy didn’t mean anything by it, let’s just move on.” 

“Why do you do that?,” he asked suddenly. 

The question took you off guard, so much so that it broke through your nerves and diminished the shakes that were wracking your frame again. At first you thought that Joel was making a cruel joke, that he was poking fun at your inability to thrive in social settings, but when you looked in his eyes all you saw was an earnest curiosity. 

“I didn’t want to make anyone upset or for any of your friends to get the wrong idea about you by seeing us like that. Plus, I know that I can be too much sometimes, just tell me if I get too annoying or something,” you sighed. 

Too much, that had been your moniker for years. Whether it was the way you dressed, your apparently over the top contributions to conversations, or the love you had for your work when someone asked; the most common complaint had been that you were a presence that somehow overwhelmed and fell short at the same time. Slowly, you had learned to be quieter, to make yourself miniscule so that you didn’t distract from the real star of the show that you were meant to prop up, to be as perfect as you could when necessary before retreating back to your books and the lonely apartment you shared with a ghost. To be on display in any context where you didn’t look utterly flawless felt wrong. Worse than wrong, it felt like failure. 

“You’re not too much honey, you’re just enough f’me.”

Stunned by Joel’s words, you blinked up at him, unsure of what to say in response to that. All of the oxygen left your lungs, the excess air whooshing out of you all at once, and you tried to think of something to say. However, luckily for you, he wasn’t done. 

“Plus, how in the hell could I be embarrassed by someone like you? It’s me that you should be embarrassed about. Christ, I can’t even keep my damn hands to myself when I’m supposed to be watching the damn grill. S’all my fault really, I couldn’t help it,” Joel murmured apologetically. 

You shook your head, absolutely shocked by his words. Joel didn’t move to hold you again, likely fearful of the reaction he would get after his brother’s joke had embarrassed you so badly, but he did reach out. A shiver ran through you as one of his thick fingers pushed your hair behind your ear, lingering near your jaw for just a moment like he couldn’t help his need for even the slightest of touches before he dropped it back down to his side. 

“If anything,” Joel started, a playfulness to his tone as he turned back towards the food, “You’re the exact opposite of too much honey. I mean, it’s like I’m neighbours with a goddamn hermit or something. Only ever see ya coming back from work at the end of the day.” 

A small chuckle broke through your frayed nerves, releasing some of the tension that had been building between you since the second he dragged you outside.

“My apologies Mr. Miller, I wasn’t aware that I had loyal fans watching my every move,” you teased, grabbing one the plates beside him so that he could start taking the food off the grill. 

Joel laughed, “Well, all I’m saying is that I hope you don’t disappear on me again. Can’t be putting together an event like this every time I want to see that face of yours.” 

“Oh, so this was all just a ploy to see me then?,” you asked, giggling at the dark splotches of red that flooded his cheeks in response. 

“I-I uh, well not exactly. I do sometimes um, sometimes I have barbecues like this. I like to cook and the girls,” he cleared his throat, “The girls said that you like to er… eat food.” 

Joel winced and you cackled, throwing your head back as you laughed at his shaky excuse. The thought of him hosting such a big event in hopes that you might come by was adorable, as well as a tad bit frightening. Nobody had ever done something so big for you and for some reason, you felt like you should apologize for making him go to such lengths. But his previous words played over and over in your mind - you’re not too much honey, you’re just enough f’me - and you let it soothe you. 

Joel Miller was a grown man who made his own choices. Even if he threw you a million barbecues to get your attention, it didn’t mean that you were too demanding. You hadn’t even asked for the first one. He had thrown this party all on his own, simply because he wanted to get your attention. That wasn’t cause for fear, it was cause for celebration. Someone had done something for you, something that you had thoroughly enjoyed despite the momentary panic that came from his youngest brother’s taunting. Regardless of the little demons in your brain trying to ruin the moment, you decided to ignore them, to enjoy the warmth that came from having the attention be on you in a good way for once. 

“Well, you have my number now so you could always text me if you wanted to see me. Not that this isn’t great, but it must have been a lot of work just to hang out with little old me. I can’t be that scary, am I? I promise that I don’t bite… usually,” you joked. 

He chuckled, nudging you with his side as he continued to plate the food. It was a small gesture but it made you grin, the feeling of his body pressing into yours for even the most fleeting of moments so natural and calming that you longed for him to do it again. Physical touch was not something you had ever been averted to per se, but you had never yearned for someone’s touch like Joel’s. His touch lit a fire underneath your skin and you knew that the flames could only possibly be soothed by more. 

“Like I said darling, you’re trouble,” Joel mumbled. 

“Like I said, you like it,” you repeated, earning another nudge from him. 

Joel didn’t say anything, he just smiled and shook his head at you. Which was good, as you were sure that your poor heart couldn’t have taken any more of his sweet words or lingering glances without having some sort of embarrassing reaction in front of the family members that were filtering out of the house with condiments and salad bowls. 

As Ellie and Sarah slipped outside, you stepped away from their dad, trying to keep a reasonable distance in fear of overstepping. However, just as you moved away from him, Joel reclaimed the empty space, wordlessly gluing himself back to your side despite their presence. You looked over at the two girls, both of them busy with preparing the table full of food, before looking back at the man in question with a raised brow. 

Joel followed your gaze, his eyes alight as he watched them for a moment before he looked back at you. He shrugged and rolled his eyes, dispelling all of your worries without a single word. He didn’t care. A small smile graced your lips, heat creeping up the side of your neck as you felt him gravitate closer every time one of your movements put space between the two of you again. 

Joel really didn’t care how close he was, or that his family and the rest of the party were slowly making their way towards the food tables set up in the backyard. You couldn’t believe it. It was as if he was actually proud of it, silently claiming you in front of every single guest at his party regardless of what any of them thought, and it made you unreasonably excited. You weren’t even that dressed up and likely had sweat trickling down your back from the blazing heat, but Joel stayed in place, hovering at your side like he was meant to be there. 

Never once had your ex showing you off at his fundraisers or networking events made you feel how Joel did in that moment. The praise you were accustomed to had always felt cheap, like he was rating you based on how fuckable you looked in front of his fellow PhD pricks. And somehow, regardless of how creepily some of them stared at you in those skin tight cocktail dresses, you never seemed to quite make the cut for him. But Joel Miller marking his territory as he was, proudly staking his claim as he kept his eyes glued to you at all times? It made you feel nearly ten years younger, like you were the wide eyed nineteen year old who screamed into her pillow when she found out that a boy that she liked thought that she was pretty. 

So you leaned into it, into Joel’s warmth, allowing the handsome man to stay rooted at your side as everyone gathered around for dinner. He led you over to a chair next to his and you let him, uncaring of the way his arms brushed against yours during the meal, or that he laughed when you missed your mouth because you were too busy trying to sneakily glance over at him. It was hard to be embarrassed anyways when someone as handsome as him was leaning over, wiping the corner of your mouth with his thumb with a goofy grin glued to his face.  

Although you had come across the street sweating and unsure where you stood with him, Joel had made his own intentions loud and clear from the moment you arrived. And despite the fact that just a week ago you had made the decision to steer clear of anything that wasn’t casual, it was becoming harder to remember why you would ever want such a thing. How could you possibly be bothered by something that felt so comfortable, something that eased all of the stress from your mind and made you forget what was waiting for you back at home? 

So, you smiled and allowed Joel to lead you towards where the other adults were gathered in the backyard after supper, whispering a small thank you that made him beam when he brought you a new drink without ever being asked. Tommy was leading the group in one of his many stories but neither of you paid him any mind, too busy sneaking glances at each other and fidgeting in lieu of reaching out in the summer heat. 

- Joel - 

For nearly the entire night Joel had stood watch at your side, sucking up every bit of attention you would grant him as the party raged on into the early evening. Even as his house began to clear out when the families started to pack up their sun-drunk children, and oftentimes their even drunker significant others, he had been able to stay strapped to your hip. But when Tommy, fucking Tommy, had called him inside to find a broom he could use to clean up a broken bottle, Joel had been forced to leave you alone with Maria. 

The task itself hadn’t taken long, a little less than five minutes altogether, and yet Joel had come back outside to find you missing. He slipped in and out of the stragglers that were slowly headed towards the exit, praying that he might catch a glimpse of the one person he had thrown the damn event for, but came up entirely empty. A heavy sigh fell from his mouth, something inside of him aching at the realization that you were gone. Your sudden departure stung, his gut roiling as he tried to think of a reason that you would leave without saying goodbye to him, but he couldn’t think of any. 

In any other circumstance Joel would have let himself dwell on it a bit longer, perhaps even retreating to the sanctity of his room to wallow in his own sadness for the rest of the night but he couldn’t, not when he had two kids with his last name that were making their way over to him. His love life, as embarrassing and depressing as it was at times, was none of their concern so he shook it off and put on a brave face for them despite the sting of rejection that dulled his smile. 

“How was the party? Did she like it? Did you finally ask her out? What are you two going to do for the first date? You’re the one planning it right? Can we help?,” Ellie babbled excitedly, getting an elbow to the ribs from her sister in return. 

“Don’t overwhelm him, jeez,” Sarah admonished with an eye roll, before she smiled mischievously and turned back towards him, “But Ellie has a point, did you ask her out?” 

Joel shook his head at the both of them, wishing like hell they would drop their incessant quest to hook the two of you up. He wanted to be with you so badly that it hurt, but he was a fully grown man who could get his own dates and the last thing he needed when he finally did take you out was to have to give his daughters credit for the idea. He wanted the date and whatever it entailed to come from him, from his heart like you deserved. 

“First of all, the two of you need to stop being so damn nosy. I can handle myself just fine. And secondly, I will ask out whoever I want to, whenever I want to. I don’t need y’all giving me any notes on how to do it for Christ’s sake,” he said, wagging a finger at the both of them. 

“I told you that he’s too chickenshit to ask her,” Ellie sighed, as if she had already predicted his inevitable fumble.  

“Damn, I guess I owe you and Tommy twenty bucks then. I really thought he’d ask her tonight,” Sarah said, the shock evident in her voice. 

“There were bets on it?!,” Joel asked incredulously, “Jesus Christ, we don’t even know each other that well yet. I can’t just go around asking out women without getting to know them first, that ain’t proper.” 

“She’s not a stranger Dad, she’s the lady that you run to the door to stare at every time you hear her car come in,” Ellie chuckled.  

“Ellie has a point there, and you can’t get mad at us for placing bets on it when it was Uncle Tommy’s idea. We are innocent children, he’s an adult,” Sarah added with a shrug. 

As the smoke started practically pouring from Joel’s ears, he watched as both of his kids inched towards the door to the house. Ellie was already about halfway through by the time he had fully soaked it in, while Sarah was a bit slower to react than her sister. Joel wasn’t sure where Tommy was but given all the shit that the asshole had pulled that day, his days were fucking numbered. He was about ready to wring his brother’s neck the next time he came across him, so much so that he barely caught his eldest daughter’s rushed goodbyes. 

“Okay well, have fun hunting down Uncle Tommy. We’re going to go to the movies with Riley and Sam. See you later dad, please don’t kill any of our family members while we’re gone,” Sarah shouted as she retreated into the safety of the house. 

Utterly defeated by the day, Joel sighed and shook his head. He couldn’t be mad at any of them really, especially when he was such a lost cause these days. There had been attempts to establish a real relationship despite his hectic life, some successful for a time and some not, but none of them ever seemed to work out. 

There was Marlene, a woman who he could have seen himself pretending to be happy with if she hadn’t abandoned him and their only child a few weeks after she was born. Then there was Tess, a heart break of major proportions that he desperately tried not to think about if he could help it, but after her the rest seemed to just blur together. His roster was an endless list of first dates and third ones, that inevitably fun first time together followed soon by the hard talk they all eventually gave him when they fell out of lust. It was all so meaningless, so boring that he had put it to rest a few years back but then, you. 

What Joel felt for you, it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t sure how yet, or more importantly why, but he knew that you were different from the other women that he had tried to form a relationship with before. Perhaps it was the way your smile broke through all his defenses, shaking the dust off of a part of his heart that had been rotting for years, or perhaps it was just fate. Either way, all of his usual worries about trying again were nowhere to be seen, as if even his hyperactive nervous system understood that you were somehow the exception. And since you were the exception, Joel decided that he didn’t mind that you had left. He would throw one party after the next all summer long, going full on Jay Gatsby and letting the entire state trample through his home if it meant you might show up again someday. 

As the last few guests filtered out, including his brother who he made sure to slap upside the head for distracting him, Joel hatched a plan. Since you had clearly left in such a hurry, you likely hadn’t gotten the chance to take home any leftovers. With how much you had “helped” on the grill, it wouldn’t be right for him to hog the remaining feast. If Joel happened to stroll over with a few plates of food in his hands, well that was just being neighborly wasn’t it? 

Convincing himself that his ridiculous scheme would work, Joel hurried to the kitchen, his mind racing as he tried to remember what sides and desserts you had liked the most. It was only when he turned the corner, skidding to a full stop at the sound of someone humming along to the crackly radio in his kitchen, that he realized his plan was pointless. There you were, still clad in one the most gorgeous dresses he had seen you in so far, quietly tidying the space as if it were your own. 

“Hey,” Joel breathed, in awe of the scene in front of him that seemed too good to be true. 

You glanced back at him, “Hey stranger.”

“What are you doing sweetheart?,” he asked, slinking up behind you so he could lean against the other side of the sink. 

“Dishes needed to be done and I hate saying goodbye to people as they leave. It’s always so fucking awkward. Irish goodbye is more my style,” you said. 

“Yeah,” he chuckled softly, the warmth radiating off of him as he added, “Mine too.” 

Smiling in response, you nodded towards the towel hanging off the stove, silently ordering him to work alongside you once more. And who was Joel to say no to a beautiful woman commanding him to help her? He happily bounded over to your side with the towel in hand, grinning ear to ear as the two of you worked in silence. 

It was quiet but comfortable, the soft sounds of a Marvin Gaye song that he had long since forgotten the name of and the slight movement of water providing a warmth to the air that only brought the two of you closer. Joel couldn’t stop looking over at you, finding it hard to stay focused each time your eyes met his. He tried to remain calm, to remind himself that you had returned his advances just hours before, but he couldn’t seem to get his words in order. How hard was it to ask someone out? Apparently for Joel, it was nearly impossible. 

“I wanted to ask you -” you started, the sound of your soft voice after such a long period of silence nearly causing him to jump out of his own skin. 

“You wanted to ask?,” Joel asked once he recovered, hoping like hell that you were thinking the same thing as him.  

You looked over at him for a second, the confidence you had faltering when your eyes met his. 

“Nevermind, it’s nothing.” 

Joel’s entire being drooped towards the floor, the hope he had squashed under your dismissal. Shy was not the word he would use to describe the woman who had flirted with him outside and yet, you seemed more flustered than you had been when he held you in his arms earlier that day. He cocked his head, trying and failing to pinpoint your change of mood. 

“M’kay well, if you think of it again I’m all ears,” he joked, getting nothing but a forced smile in response. 

Joel bristled, his jaw clenched as you turned and continued to make your way through the dirty dishes. He eyed the remaining pile, suddenly regretting the decision to use red solo cups and paper plates. If he had used his own, he’d be able to keep you trapped a little longer, perhaps even get you to ask him that question you had wanted to ask. But instead, the clock was running out of time so Joel did the only thing he could think of, he filled the space with his own frivolous questions. 

“How’s that new house of yours going? Are ya sick of this town yet or what?,” Joel asked lightly, hoping he could break you out of the funk that you had been mysteriously drawn into. 

But it didn’t. In fact, the question only made you sigh, shaking your head in defeat before you begrudgingly looked back at him. 

“Look, whatever the girls told you, it’s totally fine. I shouldn’t have even said anything, the situation is under control. The repairman said that they would probably be able to get around to it by the end of next week when I called, so it’ll be fixed up in no time,” you said. 

“Huh? The girls didn’t tell me shit. They’ve been too busy hanging out with their friends,” Joel said slowly, squaring his shoulder as he added, “But you do know that I own a contracting business right? Whatever it is, I guarantee I can fix it better than any of the other idiots in this goddamn town. Bet I’d be a hell of a lot cheaper too.” 

Joel went through a rudimentary list of the potential problems in your home that he had noticed as you took in his words, trying to rank the issues on a scale of need so he could figure it out himself in case you decided not to tell him. The roof would probably need to be reshingled soon, but luckily the fact that you lived in a warmer state meant you probably had another year or so. It could be the faulty wiring in the downstairs kitchen, in which case he prayed that you would let him fix it before you electrocuted yourself trying to make toast. Or perhaps it was the window in your upstairs office, the one that he knew undoubtedly leaked when it rained, but all that would need was a fresh layer of caulk and it would be good to go. 

“Oh um, it’s really nothing Joel. Forget I said anything. I wouldn’t want to take advantage,” you rushed out, trying to avoid eye contact as you pulled the plug on the empty sink. 

Joel cocked his eyebrow, bringing his wet hands to his hips so that he could get into what his girls had coined numerous times as his signature dad stance. He gave you a challenging look, pulling out the big guns to get you to fess up to whatever fix your tiny home needed. 

“Ugh fine, it’s just my stupid fucking AC. It broke last night while I was asleep and I can’t figure out how to fix it without literally shocking myself,” you confessed, rolling your eyes at the way his mouth popped open to form a perfect O. 

“Jesus honey, you ain’t working on it while the damn thing is still plugged in are ya?,” he questioned, already knowing the answer based on your face alone. 

“Maybe…”

Joel groaned, all of the worst case scenarios running wild through his mind as he thought about you attempting to fix it again by yourself. And the fact that you didn’t call him immediately to begin with? Absolutely unacceptable. What good was having a contractor that worshipped the ground you walked on if you didn’t let him tinker with any of your things? He groaned at his own stupidity, knowing that if he had worked up the courage to talk to you at any point in the last month, you probably wouldn’t have felt the need to call another person to come fix your AC. 

“I’ll come by tomorrow. Just please, for my sake darling, don’t be touching it again until I get there alright? You could’ve really hurt yourself doing that,” Joel begged. 

“Joel, it’s fine. I really don’t need you t-”

“I ain’t asking for your permission. I’m telling you that I’ll be at your house tomorrow morning to fix that old ass AC of yours and that’s that. And if you don’t answer the door, it’s a Sunday so I’ve got all day sweetheart. I’ll just keep on knocking until you answer it,” he cut in, grinning at the way your pupils dilated in response. 

A small noise came from you, followed by a shaky nod that made Joel grin. You were so responsive to him, so easily affected by his words that it made him want to push the boundaries that seemed to only blur more the longer he spent time with you. He wanted to break them all down at once, to pour himself into you until you were fused together as one, but he refrained. To be with you in that way was a privilege, one that he hadn’t earned yet. So until that time, he would remain at your side, allowing his feelings for you to cross into dangerous territory as he learned more about the woman he’d happily get on his knees and grovel for.  

“I guess I’ll have to figure out some way to thank you Miller. It seems that every time I get stuck, I’ve got you coming to my rescue,” you joked halfheartedly. 

Joel chuckled, pretending to mull it over for a moment. He had an idea of how you could make it up to him but he didn’t want to push, especially with how much time you had already spent with him that day. Nevertheless, he was too greedy to stop himself, already dreading the thought of you walking back across the street. 

“How about you stick around a bit longer and have a bowl of ice cream with me? That’d make us square,” Joel proposed, trying to sound as casual as he could. 

You grinned, “Not sick of me yet?” 

He shook his head and grinned back, “Not yet, no.” 

Joel drifted over to the freezer, groaning when he realized that all of his many flavors had been cut in half by his kids’ inherited sweet tooth. All he had left was either chocolate or coffee, two flavors that you excitedly asked him to combine rather than choosing one. He went along with it, piling the bowls high with the impromptu mixture before he led you to the swing in the backyard. 

It was a little bit off to the side, in a corner that held a garden and was blocked from the sun by the tree that it sat under, but it was the perfect place to sit at that time of night. With the sun setting on the horizon, turning the water in the pool a shade of pink that reminded Joel of bubblegum, he had to admit that his backyard had never looked better, even with the mess that the party had left behind. 

“I know that I’ve probably already told you this today but you have a really nice place Joel. It feels so… -,” you trailed off, looking for the right word to describe it for a second before you suddenly smiled up at him and said, “ - homey. I’ve never felt so comfortable at someone else’s place before.” 

Every inch of Joel’s face must have lit up like a Christmas tree at that admission, he could feel it in the way all of the unused muscles around his mouth worked overtime to give you what must have been his millionth smile of the day. You felt at home in his space. That alone made this friendly barbecue better than any first date he had ever had, and he hadn’t even asked you out yet. 

“Fuck, that’s a mighty big compliment coming from you sweet girl. Thank ya,” he gushed, trying not to sound like the awestruck idiot he was. 

You nodded, taking another bite of your frozen treat as your eyes took in the scenery once more. Joel suddenly wished he had the artistic abilities that his youngest possessed so that he could capture the way you looked in the golden light of the fading day. A picture couldn’t possibly do your beauty any justice, it couldn’t capture how the light danced in your eyes and polished every inch of your skin. Only someone with pure talent would be able to do that. But alas, the best Joel could do when it came to portraits was wonky stick figures, not the beautiful masterpieces you deserved to be depicted as. And he was about to tell you as much, spilling all of his lovestruck secrets as he watched you take another bite of the frozen treat, but then you spoke. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I’ve been spending so much time with your daughters. I know it’s a bit weird, but they have insanely good taste in movies, if I do say so myself,” you joked.

“So I’ve heard,” he chuckled. 

Your smile faltered and Joel leaned in, trying to ground you without crowding you too much. 

“Ellie and Sarah have been very kind to me. I um… I didn’t really have a lot of kind people in my life before coming here,” you sighed. 

Joel tried to control his face, a strange mixture of emotions running through him in response to the statement. Pride came first, the dad in him unable to not feel some sort of way upon hearing that his children had been the compassionate people he raised them to be while outside of their father’s watchful eye, but then came grief and above all else, outrage. He wasn’t surprised that you had been around people undeserving of your presence, the constant apologizing and the way you sometimes shrunk in on yourself was enough to tell him that. What he was surprised at was how you still seemed to feel guilty about receiving the kindness of others, as if you didn’t think that you were worthy of it. 

“Darling, you can spend time with the girls whenever ya like. They love it over there and I think…,” he sighed and shook his head, “I think it’s good for them to have someone like you around. Lord knows that I ain’t the best listener at times, but you? You’re easy to talk to and you understand them in a way that I can’t. Hell, they’d probably trade me in for you if they could.” 

You smiled again and Joel sighed in relief. He liked you better like that, happy and carefree, not weighed down by the past. He longed to ask you about it, to know exactly why someone as amazing as you would fold in on yourself instead of standing tall, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t his place and given his own closet full of skeletons, he was in no position to push. 

“That means a lot Joel,” you sighed once you were done, looking down at your hands before you added, “I just worry that I’m in the way ya know? Sometimes it feels like people are just being nice and inviting me to places because they want to put me on display, or because they feel obligated to, and I just hate it so much.”

“What do ya mean?”

“I don’t know. When I was with my ex, it felt like he was trying to show everyone else up. It was like I was in some sort of beauty contest that I never signed up for. And with my friends, my invite always felt forced or like an afterthought. Either way, nobody ever wanted me to show up somewhere and just be me so now I just can’t fathom why…,” you trailed off. 

“I understand,” Joel said quietly.

And he did, truly. Although Joel was the oldest, that didn’t mean he was the most popular Miller brother, or even the smartest. He was quiet, sullen at times, and quick to anger before he had his girls. At most parties, he could be seen with a drink in hand, standing off to the side as he tried to dodge attempts to get him out onto the dance floor. And although Joel didn’t know what it was like to be dragged around like some sort of prize because of his looks, he did know what it was like to feel used. Such had been the case with the last few women he had tried to date, who had all snuck into his sheets and then ran for the hills the moment he brought up meeting his kids. 

Then there was the friend comment, which broke Joel’s heart almost more than the admission about your ex. His heart had been broken once by a woman who he thought he would raise his daughter with, Marlene, but he had gotten over that easily as he watched Sarah grow. He didn’t hold any animosity towards the woman anymore, wherever she was. How could he when she had given him one of the greatest gifts? But what he would never get over, what he still could not forgive, was what Tess had done to him. It had been nearly fifteen years and thinking about his best friend’s betrayal still made him feel as he had that day. Having a shitty ex was one thing, but shitty friends? That was a hard pill to swallow. 

“Yeah um, your girls told me a bit about you. I hope you don’t m-”

“Of course I don’t mind,” he cut in, stopping the needless apology before it was even fully out, “You can ask them or me anything ya like darling, I want you to know me.” 

You blinked, cocking your head at him for a second before you looked away. Deep in thought, your ice cream was all but abandoned, melting in your lap as you stared off into space. Joel sighed and scooched over, getting a bit closer so he could lift the bowl from your lap before it ruined the pretty pink dress you had on. He scooped the bowl up, reaching across you to put it on the small table attached to the side of the swing but when he leaned back, you were looking at him funny, like you either wanted to jump in his lap or attack him violently. Not sure which one it was, he chose the safest option and started to move out of your personal space but once again, your actions shocked him. 

Lifting your feet up off the ground, you quickly scooched closer to his side, placing your head directly on his shoulder in a way that made him feel warm all over. Joel paused, unsure what to do with himself for a moment before you let out a small disgruntled noise that kicked him into action. He wrapped one arm around your shoulders, allowing your body to relax under the weight of it as he pulled you close. With you glued to his side and the sunset slowly fading into dusk, Joel was astounded by his own luck. He waited for the harsh sting of reality to come but it never did. All he got instead was a sleepy, “This okay? I can move if you want,” from you. 

“Don’t you dare sweetheart, you’re perfect right there,” Joel murmured, moving his head so he could press his cheek against the top of your head. 

Joel wasn’t sure what you used for shampoo but he needed the brand name ASAP. That and your perfume, or was it a body lotion that made you smell so good? Whatever it was, he was on a mission to find it so he could buy some for himself. He wanted to spray it everywhere, to have your signature scent saturate every surface of his home, his truck, his office, but he knew it wouldn’t be the same. There had to be something about you that made it so delicious, and he knew that he would forever chase that key ingredient in hopes to one day bottle it for himself. 

“Joel?”

“Yeah?,” Joel murmured. 

“Thank you for inviting me. I had a really good time today and I hope…”

He waited for a moment, giving you a chance to speak up before he asked, “You hope?” 

Joel felt you shift beneath his arm and moved his head back, giving you just enough space to look up at him from where you were slumped against his side. Your face was close to his, so close that he could feel your tiny breaths puff out against his lips but he didn’t pay it any mind. It was your eyes that he was looking at, so expressive yet so guarded, a small part of you still holding on to the wall you had built around yourself despite everything. 

“Nothing, it’s just…,” you tried, clearly struggling to articulate whatever it was you were feeling, “You’re kind too and I hope… Well, I need to be around kind people right now and I hope that I can see you a bit more if that’s uh - if you’re not too busy with work or family.”

Without even thinking about it, Joel leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss against your forehead. It wasn’t even remotely sexual, nothing but a trick he had used multiple times to soothe the cuts and bruises of his kids over the years, but it was intimate. Nevertheless, you didn’t seem to care, a small smile pulling at the corners of your lips before you snuggled back into his side. 

“You ain’t getting rid of me that easy,” Joel whispered, placing his cheek back atop of your head as the two of you watched the last bit of sun dip below the horizon. 

“Good.” 

-You-

The party had ended around 8pm that night, but you didn’t leave Joel’s house until well past midnight. After the impromptu heart to heart, you had fallen into a dreamless sleep, unknowingly squishing him into the corner of the swing as you napped. You were mortified when he finally woke you up, vehemently apologizing for trapping him in his own backyard as you tried to fix your rumpled dress, but he waved you off. 

“Darling, I was fine. If I wanted to get up, I would’ve told ya, but I was comfy like that and  you’re cute when you sleep. Hell, I would’ve let ya nap on me forever but I just didn’t want us to get rained on,” Joel had chuckled, gesturing vaguely towards the sky. 

Before you could even react to the flattery, Joel had reached out and smoothed some of your hair back in place, pulling the few strands that had fallen from your braid back behind your ear. It made you squirm under his gaze and he held his hand to you as the raindrops began to fall. What started as a drizzle soon turned into an all out downpour and Joel hurried you towards the backdoor, the both of you laughing like kids as the heavens suddenly opened up and drenched the two of you. 

“Joel! The bowls!,” you shouted over the sound of water slapping against the pavement around the pool. 

“Fuck ‘em, I’ll get them tomorrow” he yelled back, forcing another round of boisterous laughter from the two of you as the rain beat down against your backs. 

Joel practically ripped the door open trying to get the two of you back to safety, earning another round of giggles from you as he practically launched you inside with the hold he had on your hand. Stumbling in, you barely managed to catch yourself on the island in his kitchen and wheeled around to face him. He hurried in behind you, cussing as he pulled the sliding door closed. 

“Holy fuck, I thought we’d have more time than that,” Joel whistled, watching as lightening struck the tree the two of you had just been lounging under. 

“More time? How long did you wait to wake me up?,” you chuckled. 

Joel turned to look at you, the sight of how soaked he was reigniting that spark between your legs. The shirt he had on was tight against his chest, showing off the strong physique you already had a feeling he possessed. The thick corded muscles in his arms were glistening, along with the tantalizing spot on his neck where rain water dripped from his curls. And the way he was looking, catching how you squeezed your thighs together at how breathtaking he looked, it told you that he felt the exact same way. 

“I uh…,” Joel started, swallowing once before he started again, “I wasn’t ready for ya to leave yet honey. I just really didn’t want today to be over, ya know?” 

You gave him a small smile and dipped your chin, suddenly feeling bashful. It didn’t help that your whole body was basically on display, the pink dress glued to every curve, every hip dip, every imperfection as stood in front of him. And yet, when you looked back up, Joel didn’t seem to see the same thing you did. At first, you thought he might be in pain, the heavy crease between his brows making it seem like he was suffering from a migraine of some sort. But as you watched as he raked his eyes up and down your figure, taking in everything, you knew that it was desire for you that had twisted his face like that. 

“Jesus, what the fuck happened to you two?”

You gasped, turning towards the teenager that had just strolled into the kitchen. Ellie’s eyes bounced between the two of you, cocking an eyebrow at the obvious tension before she shook her head and headed towards the fridge. 

“What the hell are ya doing here? I thought y’all were headed to the movies,” Joel asked, seemingly just as flustered as you were. 

“In case you forgot old man, movies are like really long TV shows that you go to see and they are usually about 2 to 3 hours long. We left at seven forty five man,” she sassed as she dug through the freezer and pulled out a tub of cookie dough. 

Looking over at the clock, you balked. It was a little bit after a little bit after twelve, well past your usual bedtime as a certified homebody. How long had you been outside for? You didn’t even remember what time it had been when you snuck inside to do the dishes, much less when they had been finished. 

“I’m so sorry Joel, I should probably go. I didn’t realize it was that late, you probably want to get to bed soon,” you apologized, trying to pinpoint where your shoes and purse had gone in the hours since you arrived. . 

“You think I’m letting ya go out there in this?,” Joel asked incredulously. 

The wind howled outside at that moment, as if mother nature herself was trying to highlight his point. Even with how dark it was, you could see the way the trees shuddered, the branches thrashing under the gusts blowing rainwater every which way. But still, the last thing you wanted was to overstay your welcome. Which, given the fact that Joel’s youngest daughter was moseying back upstairs in her pajama pants with a tub of half eaten cookie dough in her hands, you were pretty sure that you already had. 

“Joel, I’m not made out of sugar. Plus, I wouldn’t want to put you out seeing as you’ve already been stuck with me all day and I -”

“Enough of that, c’mon sweetheart,” Joel sighed as he held his hand out to you again. 

“Wait, what?,” you questioned, pulse quickening as Joel grabbed your hand again. 

“Let’s get you warmed up,” he said, dragging you out of the kitchen without another word. 

What you expected was for Joel to bring you towards the couch in the living room, perhaps even cover you in one of the many throw blankets that had been left on various surfaces in the room, but instead he led you towards the staircase. You squeaked as he yanked you up the steps and through the hallway, bypassing the room you knew to be Sarah’s and what you guessed was Ellie’s based on the daunting keep out sign that was tacked to the door. It was only after you passed the upstairs bathroom that you realized where he was bringing you. 

“You’re taking me to your room?,” you burst out, unable to keep it in. 

Joel turned back, a sly grin on his face at the look of your flustered face. He laughed, shaking his head as he stopped at the very last door in the hall.

“Well, it’s where I keep my clothes sweetheart,” he chuckled, turning back to open the door as he added, “Unless of course you want to try squeezing into one of the girl’s clothes. I’m sure they’d be real comfy for ya darling.” 

The thought of trying to squeeze your frame into a fourteen year old’s clothes was downright embarrassing. You were a fully grown, thirty year old woman, with all of the curves and extra padding that came with that. And with how skinny the two teenage girls were, you shuddered to think of even attempting such an impossible task. 

“Okay fair enough. There’s no way these hips would fit in either of their jeans,” you chuckled, before you stuck a finger in his face,“But no funny business Mr. Miller. This is a clothing swap, nothing more.” 

He laughed and nodded along, “Of course honey, wouldn’t dream of anything else.”

With that, Joel left you hovering near his bed, disappearing into the walk in closet to fetch you some decent clothes. Although you longed to sit on the foot of his bed, to feel the creamy texture of what looked to be the softest sheets you had ever seen against your skin, you refrained in fear of getting them soaked. Instead, you floated around, taking in small pieces of the man while he was busy digging through his clothes.  

There was a guitar in the corner of the room, along with a record player with a milk crate of records that unsurprisingly held the greatest hits of a few country legends. An ensuite bathroom was attached to his room, where he had left out the tub of hair gel he had used that morning and the cologne you loved so much. A painting of a deer hung above his bed, while a picture of two chunky toddlers that had to be Ellie and Sarah was placed on his nightstand. A TV hung on the opposite end of the wall over his dresser, which of course held more pictures of his girls and even one of him as a kid.  

You picked up the old picture, smiling when you recognized the Miller brothers. They were boys whenever it was taken, no more than six and ten, but you could see exactly who was who based on their expressions alone. While Tommy was captured mid-laugh, missing several of his baby teeth as he grinned maniacally at the camera while clutching his mother’s leg, Joel was more reserved. His smile was small, surprisingly awkward even, though you could tell it had been a happy day based on the large fish he held in his hands and the proud looks that both of his parents were giving him. It made you slightly jealous but you pushed the feeling away, reminding yourself that it wasn’t right to long for something so trivial as an adult. 

“Whatcha got there?,” Joel piped up from behind you, his deep voice causing you to jump and fumble with the frame. 

“Shit, sorry. You scared me,” you laughed nervously, placing the picture down before you shattered it. 

He shook his head and stepped forward, placing a set of soft looking clothes on the bed so he could examine your choice. 

“Ah, that’s a good one. That was the first fish I ever caught and it was a twenty one pound channel catfish. Pops was so proud that he damn near cried. Tommy was excited too but I don’t think he really understood what was going on, he was only in first grade. He just liked that everyone was cheering,” Joel laughed. 

“I don’t know anything about fishing but I’m gonna assume that twenty one pounds is really impressive?,” you tried. 

He snorted, “Ah yes, my apologies sweetheart, I forgot you were a city girl. Yeah, it’s a pretty good catch for that kind of catfish. Anything higher than twenty pounds is considered a score.” 

“I was only a city girl after high school Joel, I didn’t grow up in Miami,” you sassed, rolling your eyes at him, “For your information, I grew up in a small town before that. Everyone knew each other and had their noses in everyone else’s business, same as here probably.”

“S’that right? Well pardon me darling, I must’ve misjudged ya. Didn’t realize I had a certified backwoods beauty gracing me with her presence,” he joked. 

“Yeah well, I haven’t been back there since I left for university so the city has probably rubbed off on me a bit,” you sighed, trying to remember what it felt like to be back in that town. 

It had been twelve years since you left home, filled with dreams and ready to leave behind the place that had held you back for far too long. With nothing but twenty bucks to your name and a flashy scholarship with your name on it, you had taken the first bus out of town. You remember that day, when your eighteen year old self had left for the airport practically vibrating with excitement. Nobody had even known you were going and you didn’t care to tell them, knowing even at that age that your big dreams would have been laughed out of the house. You sighed when you thought of that day and all of the aspirations you had once held, knowing that with how your life had turned out after meeting your ex during that first year of university, they would have been right. 

“No family then?,” he asked carefully, as if he already knew it was a touchy subject based on the way all of the muscles in your body tensed up. 

Schooling your face, you turned to him and said as casually as possible, “Nope, just me.” 

It wasn't really a lie, you hadn’t seen any of them in years. No family members had been invited to your graduation, your wedding, or your thesis defense during master’s, despite the fact that they were all probably still alive and well. Your parents were likely still in the same run down town, smoking on the porch as they watched the cars go by and bickered over who had drunk the last can of coke. And the one brother you had was likely either in jail or somewhere commiting the felonies that would inevitably bring him straight back. They had never liked you and the feeling was mutual even as a child, so to call them family would be a great exaggeration. And as far as your former in-laws went, you knew they were likely relieved that you had vanished out of thin air. They were probably thrilled that their precious boy had finally gotten rid of the trailer trash he had chosen, most likely already planning which debutante they wanted him to marry with you out of the way. 

“Well,” Joel started as he awkwardly cupped the back of his neck, “I suppose it’s a good thing you chose this place then.” 

“Why’s that?,” you questioned as you drifted over to the pile of clothes he had left out. 

He shrugged, “I ain’t gonna let ya get lonely over there.” 

A small grin spread across your face, growing by the second as you took in the truth of Joel’s promise. Whether you realized it or not at the time, the Millers had been at your side since your very first day in town. It had been mostly the girls of course, one or both of them constantly knocking at your door after they got out of school, but Joel had been there for your two most vulnerable moments. All in all, given the fact that you were now a runaway of two separate towns and families, they were probably the only people you had. 

“Thank you Joel,” you said softly. 

“Don’t thank me honey, I don’t need it. Just go get dressed before you catch a damn cold,” he grunted, gesturing towards the bathroom so that you could change in privacy. 

The clothes that Joel had given you felt just as soft as they looked, although they did sort of swallow you whole once you put them on. The grey sweatpants were so long that you had to fold them at the waist, while the sweater went halfway down your thighs. Joel was just so big and broad, so undeniably beefy that you could barely fill out his loungewear even with your curves providing some extra padding. Not that you minded really, as wearing his clothes allowed his scent to drift into your nostrils each time you moved. After hanging your drenched clothes in the shower, you shook your hair out of the braid Sarah had put in, allowing it to flow freely as you moved back into his room. 

Joel was just coming out of the closet when you came back in, a fresh pair of sweatpants and a navy blue t-shirt hugging his frame as he swaggered towards you. Given the hefty bulge that he was sporting, you knew that he didn’t have any boxers underneath and you tried hard to ignore it.  It was the middle of the night and he was in the sanctity of his own home, he could do whatever the hell he wanted. However, the closer he got, the more obvious the outline of his cock became and you quickly focused all of your attention on making direct eye contact with him instead of staring at the beast that hung from his lower half.

“How do they fit? M’sorry baby, I know that my clothes are a bit big but I couldn’t find anything smaller than that,” Joel apologized. 

The word baby bounced around in your mind, hitting all of the pleasure points as you tried to remain calm. Had Joel called you that before? You weren’t sure, but it stuck out compared to the other terms of endearment he had used so far. Sweetheart, honey, darling, those were all terms that you had convinced yourself were just a part of his Southern charm, regardless of the fact that you had never heard him refer to anyone else in that way. But baby? That felt different, almost special, and you wanted more than anything to hear him call you that again. 

“Y-Yeah, they fit alright. I’m very cozy,” you said meekly, going weak in the knees from the dazzling smile he sent your way. 

“Good now, let’s see if we can scrounge up some leftovers. I don’t know about you but I’m fucking starving,” he said.  

Again, Joel didn’t ask for your hand as he had before, he just took it and dragged you down the hallway behind him. He brought you to the living room first, gesturing for you to sit down on the couch before he threw a thick blanket and the remote control at you with the command to put something interesting on. 

“I can help you in there though!,” you protested as you tried to get up and follow him, not wanting to leave him with all of the work as you lazed about on his couch. 

“You are helping me, now pick something for us to watch while I go get us a snack,” Joel called over his shoulder, his tone leaving no room for discussion. 

The rest of the night followed a similar trajectory. Joel came back with plates filled with way too much food and sat at your side, uncaring that you had decided on a trashy reality TV show that you secretly loved. He even asked a few questions about one of the love triangles, laughing along as the contestants started screaming at each other over god knows what during one of the reunion episodes. Sitting on Joel’s couch, stuffing your face as you indulged in one of your guilty pleasure shows felt good, natural even. However, after you had passed off the rest of your meal for him to devour, you made the mistake of looking over to the clock and realized that it was way past time that you said your goodbyes. It was one thirty in the morning and with no more rain falling outside, along with the sleepy yawn that Joel gave once he was finished eating, you knew that it was time to leave. 

Ever the gentleman, Joel demanded that he walk you home, ignoring your assurances that you would be fine. He had even offered his own bed first, claiming that he would sleep better on the couch anyways if he knew that you wouldn’t slip on the slick pavement outside, but you shut his ridiculous worries down. At an impasse, the two of you had agreed that you would not stay the night but that he would walk you home, even if it was slightly ridiculous to think that you would run into danger in the thirty seconds it took for you to get to your front porch. It had been a quiet walk, one where neither of you said anything, almost as if you were both too scared to ruin it. 

“Are you sure that you’re alright over here honey? It’s gonna be mighty hot tomorrow morning with that AC of your broken and like I said, I really don’t mind sleeping on the couch tonight if it means you’ll get a good sleep. It’d make me feel a whole lot better,” Joel tried one more time as he stood with you on the porch. 

“I’ll be fine Joel, it’s just one night and plus,” you added, a bit of mischief in your eye as you reached up and fixed his collar, “I’ve actually got a handsome handyman coming by tomorrow, so it should be fixed in no time.” 

A deep crimson crept up the side of his neck, flooding his face with colour as he tried hard not to let your words affect him too much. 

“Sounds like a lucky guy,” he murmured, his breath hitching as you took a bold step into his space. 

“Hm, we’ll see,” you teased. 

Leaning forward, you placed a tiny peck on his cheek, lingering there for a moment to take in a heavy whiff of his scent. The kiss was light, barely a brush of the lips against his scratchy beard, but it seemed to hit him just as hard as any passionate makeout session would. 

“Night Joel,” you whispered, giving him a small smile as you slowly moved away. 

“Night sweetheart, I’ll see ya tomorrow,” he breathed, hands bunched up at his sides like he wanted to reach out but knew that he shouldn’t. 

You smiled, “Hope so, handsome.” 

With that, you left Joel on the porch, his cheeks still flushed as you pulled the door closed. Pressing your back against the wood, you couldn’t help the girlish squeal you let out as the day flashed before your eyes. Had all of that really just happened? 

Joel Miller was good, so good that you couldn’t believe the day that you had just had. He had thrown a party for you, nobody had ever done that, and he had spent nearly the entire day at your side simply because he wanted to. And afterwards, he had cuddled with you on the swing, letting you rest against him until the rain dragged you both back inside. Not to mention the fact that he had clothed and fed you, unwilling to let you walk back home in a storm despite your vehement reassurances that you were fine. It was as if someone had made the perfect man in a lab for you and you suddenly couldn’t remember why you had ever wanted to keep him at a distance in the first place. 

That is, until your phone started to ring. You drifted over to the kitchen, still running on a high as you unplugged your phone and accepted the blocked number. Although it was strange to get any calls in the middle of the night, as you were usually asleep well before midnight, you figured it would be best to answer. Afterall, maybe it was work. With how much it had rained that night, you couldn’t help but worry that the one hundred year old basement of the library had finally flooded, meaning that you would have to go deal with it before the water destroyed the precious microfilms down there.  

“Hello?,” you answered, still chipper as ever despite the late hour. 

“Oh, so no answer during the day but you fucking pick up in the middle of the night? I’ve been calling you since three o’clock this afternoon, where the hell have you been? Were you out with someone else? Better fucking not have been, you’re still my goddamn wife.”

Fear, pure unadulterated fear rushed through you and turned the blood in your veins into ice. It was him. After more than a month of radio silence, a silence so potent that you had assumed that he had finally let you go, there he was, spitting venom through the phone. 

“H-How um - how did you get this number?”

A snort came from the other line, followed by what sounded to be a heavy glass being slammed down on what had to be his mahogany desk. You had heard that sound too many times to not recognize it, even miles and miles away. Each time he had brought you into that dreaded room, the same one you had once been impressed by as a doe eyed nineteen year old that saw it for the first time as his research assistant, it was always to give you some sort of talking to. The talks were always about your behaviour, your outfit, or something stupid you had said. An invite to that room always came with a reprimand from him, drinking vodka on the rocks as he critiqued every inch of your being, before he inevitably expected you to spread your legs for him whenever he felt like it. It made you nauseous to think about it now, about how cruel you had let him be, stupidly believing that even when he toyed with your mind that it was out of love, but that was then. 

The nineteen year old he had hired, the same one that he had shaped into his perfect girlfriend at twenty, then his perfect little wife by twenty two, then his trophy piece for events after he got tired of pretending to care, all still lived inside of you. Real life isn’t like the movies, where the woman leaves her ex and suddenly becomes a different person altogether. That girl who just wanted someone to pay attention to her, who desperately needed love, was still there, along with the wife who had held onto something gnarled and twisted in hopes that it would one day make sense again. However, none of those women were under his spell anymore, his ongoing affair had made sure of that. And as broken as every single version of you still was, they were equally just as pissed off. 

You cleared your throat, trying to sound more confident as you asked, “Why did you call me?”

“That’s all you have to say to me right now? After weeks of me trying to track your ass down? I am your husband you stupid bitch, watch how you fucking talk to me,” he spat. 

You straightened up, rage coiling in your gut and tensing all of the muscles in your back like you were readying for an attack. Husband? He thought that he was still your husband? After all that he had done? You tried not to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. 

The memory of his face when you caught him with that poor young woman flashed through your mind. He hadn’t looked guilty that he was caught, just disappointed that his little game had ended before he had the chance to truly sink his talons into his next victim, which soon morphed into disgust when you had the audacity to cry in front of him over his betrayal. And later, when you had asked him outright for a divorce? He had been smug, reminding you that you’d never find another man like him, that you were nothing without him, that it was childish to ruin an eight year marriage over something that every husband did from time to time. It was enough to make you want to reach through the phone and strangle him. 

“You stopped being my husband the second you started fucking your research assistants behind my back Peter, now what the hell do you want from me?,” you hissed, feeling as though you could breathe fire as you spoke his name aloud for the first time in over a month. 

“Oh really? Well, we will fucking see about that you goddamn whore. I bet I wasn’t the only one who stepped out, you just like holding shit over my head,” Peter shot back, but you were too angry to let his insults or ridiculous accusations phase you. 

“Listen to me you asshole,” you started, ten years worth of rage seeping into your tone as you spoke through gritted teeth, “You are nothing to me anymore, do you hear me? Nothing.”

“Don’t be a fucking dramatic,” he sighed, almost sounding bored. 

“No, you don’t get to say shit like that to me anymore,” you seethed, letting all of the resentment peek out for the first time in ten years, “I don’t give a shit what you have to say, or what your friends think, or especially what your stupid parents want, I am fucking DONE!”

“But -”

“Sign the divorce papers Peter. Or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck anymore. Just know, I’ll be filing for a petition to divorce your ass next week if I don’t get them in my mailbox by Wednesday. You can take the apartment, the money, the cars, everything, I’m out.” 

“You wouldn’t fucking dare.”

“Try me bitch,” you snapped, ending the call before he had the chance to respond. 

You whipped the cell phone across the room, too angry to care if it broke as you watched it bounce against the back of the couch and hit the hardwood. 

“Asshole,” you hissed to no one in particular, the sound of your voice echoing off of the empty walls. 

Peter had taken everything from you, everything. He had taken your twenties, draining you of life, of who you were as a person, before forcing you into being the woman he wanted. And you, so desperate to have someone love you, had let him. You had grit your teeth through the entirety of the marriage, hoping that one day the two of you might return to how it had been during those early days. But being a thirty year old woman with a lifetime of experience gave you some perspective on the matter. Those early days, with all of the gifts and the compliments, had been an elaborate ruse. He had drowned you in affection, knowing that if he got you to love him, you would be easier to bend. 

Peter had taken pieces of you, slowly and carefully, so that you didn’t notice until it was too late. He was a political science professor, so you couldn’t major in that, it had to be literature and history. He wanted to stay in Miami so that he could get tenure, meaning that moving out of state after undergraduate for a masters in New York like you had hoped was out of the question. He didn’t like short hair, so yours had to be long. Heels soon replaced all of your more comfortable shoes, as he thought you looked frumpy in flat ones. At formal events, you had to always wear a dress, which meant that every pair of dress pants you owned had to be thrown away. He didn’t want you to be smarter than him so a PhD degree became a pipedream, even though a seat at Notre Dame had once been offered to you. Pieces upon pieces were taken, until you had no idea who you were anymore without him. 

As you marched up the stairs in your home, reeling from the call as you walked into the bathroom and started quietly taking your makeup off, you couldn’t stop looking at the person who stared back at you in the mirror. She had more lines on her face since the last time you had seen her, as well as a bit more junk in the trunk, but she was there. For the first time in years, the girl who had her own wants, her own dreams, her own fucking life, was there. She looked exhausted, albeit a bit rough around the edges from her time locked away, but her re-emergence was something remarkable. 

Peter had cheated on you. Hell, he had probably been doing it for years, but you didn’t care anymore. That had been the least of the injustices he had perpetrated against you anyways. It was the manipulation that had been the worst thing, the tactics he had used to force you into a life that was meant to nurture only him being so devious that you had happily skipped towards your cell and helped him throw away the key. But his last offense had shown you the light. It had ended up being the exact thing you needed to tear you from your prison cell and shove you back into the real world again, a world that didn’t revolve around him. It didn’t matter if Peter didn’t sign the divorce papers, or if he took every single thing you owned in court, you would be fine because at the very least it would mean that you would never have to see him again. 

So, as you finished up your nightly routine, letting all thoughts of your previous life go down the drain with your face wash and toothpaste, you put Peter to rest. There would be a time to think about him, perhaps even dissect the damage he had done to you in greater detail when you met with the attorney, but it was not the time for such thoughts. Absolutely drained from the day, you crawled into bed, pulling the hem of Joel’s sweater up to your nose so that you could take a hit of his delicious scent. Your ex, wherever he was and whoever he was with, could go fuck himself. You had a home, a job you loved, and a handsome man that had a crush on you, a man that you knew would never say any of the shit that your ex had to you even if he was upset. Peter didn’t own you anymore and he never really had, you were free.

[tgmsunmontue]

You need to learn how to fall 7/10

Hangster (and IceMav) - Bradley is too tall to be a naval aviator and instead becomes a sky diver, specialising in spin recovery. He is a civilian contractor to the military to teach pilots how to survive parachute spins from ejections. A more in-depth version of this post.

PROLOGUE 2003-2006 2007-2010 2011-2015 2016+ ~2019

>>Bradley

>>Jake

                The messages start off sporadic, and he’s unsure how to respond, which tone he should use, because there’s the casual work-related and simply friendly messages, then there’s the flirty ones, and then, then, there’s downright pornographic messages going into detail what Jake would like to do to him. With him. He’s never backed off a challenge though and he can go toe-to-toe so he sends back an equal mix of messages, some bland and mundane, others his innermost fantasies. They’re soon messaging multiple times a day, sleepy early-morning selfies, photos of lunches, short videos.

…             …             …

>>You don’t walk like a man in the Navy, your hips have this roll to them and it drives me fucking wild watching it.

…             …             …

>>Had a jump today, someone passed out while falling. Scariest fucking thing I’ve dealt with in a while.

…             …             …

                A package arrives after about three months, and Bradley hadn’t mentioned sending him anything, but he knows it’s not from his mom. Bradley had mentioned helping bake some shortbread, lemon and rosemary; Jake had said he’d love to try it sometime and now… if he’s not mistaken, there are some sitting in a little container on his kitchen bench and he gets to try some. There’s a return address and he quickly adds it to the information under Bradley’s contact in his phone. The shortbread is delicious and he sends a quick selfie to Bradley of him taking a bite with the words thank you underneath.

…             …             …

>>Teaching has given me a new appreciation for how dumb some people are. I feel like I need to go and apologize to my high school teachers.

…             …             …

>>Your tongue drives me to distraction. When you’re flicking a toothpick I can’t help but wonder what you’d do with my cock.

…             …             …

>>Have I told you recently how much I don’t like sweet potato?

…             …             …

                Jake hasn’t had this much fun flirting with someone in a long time, just this continuous banter back and forth. It hasn’t reverted to dick-pics or sexting or anything more than some pretty explicit messages sent and received out of the blue. Younger him would have been impatient, but he’s now enjoying the journey. Looks forward to the little peeks into Bradley’s day just as much as he looks forward to reading how he might turn Bradley on. It’s all sorts of sweet and different and he can’t wait to see Bradley again.

…             …             …

>>Can I take you out to dinner next time you’re in town?

>>Think I’d be pretty disappointed if you didn’t.

…             …             …

                Ice calls him, tells him Mav is missing and his entire world freezes. They know nothing for certain, but he was flying, and then… something classified which Ice can’t divulge, but then he’s saying Mav might be alive, but simply lost, but they have no idea where and Bradley cannot fucking deal with this right now. He’s the one with PLBs sewn into his fucking jump-suits, he cannot believe the US Navy hasn’t done something similar for one of their pilots, let alone an entire fucking plane. How do they lose a pilot and a plane? Then Ice sends him a link to an unexplained explosion and he’s glad he’s already sitting down. Fuck. He thinks he might throw up.

                Then Ice is standing in the doorway, phone pressed to his ear, expression serious as he nods and says something Bradley cannot hear through the thick air he feels surrounded by.

                “He’s alive.”

                His heart beats.

                Slowly the air returns to something less solid and he can breathe again.

                “Thank fuck. God, I could kill him.”

                “Get in line… think I just aged another decade.”

                “You look good for a man nearing his second century, what with all the extra decades Mav must have added…”

                “I definitely feel that old some days.”

…             …             …

                Bradley’s time to return to Corpus Christi is quickly approaching and he’s feeling excited to see him again. He’s not expecting the papers that he’s handed, he’s mid-assignment, not expecting sudden redeployment and he opens them slowly.

                A special detachment.

                Advice to visit any family with two days of special leave.

                What the fuck.

                He’d otherwise be excited and rearing to go, but Bradley is meant to be flying into Corpus Christi in forty-eight hours. They’re meant to be getting dinner. The irony that he’s got to report to North Island in four days isn’t lost on him. Fuck. Can they not catch a break? Whatever this special detachment is, is going to be risky, otherwise the strong suggestion of visiting family wouldn’t be there coupled with the leave in which to make it happen.

                He has a choice.

                He could skip over seeing his family just to see Bradley. Or he could wait another couple of weeks because Bradley will be in North Island after his two weeks in Corpus Christi finishes. He might not be in North Island in two weeks, but he might never see his family again and as much as he wants to see Bradley, he needs to see his family.

                Fuck this mature adult bullshit.

                He picks up his phone and presses call, something they’ve never done before and it might break his resolve but he doesn’t want to put this through text on a screen.

                “Hi… This is new.”

                “Hi,” Jake says, and Bradley sounds good, relaxed and happy. So good.

                “What are you up to?”

                “Nothing. You?”

                “I’m about to get in a plane and jump out of it with a person strapped to me.”

                “You know, I think I might want to try it some time,” he says, and he means it, thinks he’d enjoy the rush, and the idea of being strapped to Bradley also holds a certain appeal.

                “Yeah? You let me know the time and place and I’ll take you up.”

                “Really?”

                “Of course. And I don’t want to rush you, but was there a special reason for a call? I’m kind of on a time crunch.”

                “Yeah. I just got new orders.”

                “Oh?”

                “I’ve been called in for a special detachment, and you would not believe where I’m going. At least to start with…”

                “North Island…”

                “Yeah.”

                “Talk about crap timing.”

                “Yeah. I’ve been given special leave to visit family,” Jake says, and he has no idea if Bradley knows what that might mean. He knows his dad was a pilot, but he’s been dead since Bradley was a toddler and he’s only had Bradley refer to his uncles raising him.

                “Fuck.”

                Okay. He knows.

                “I mean, I could stay here –”

                “No. Jake. You have to go and see your family. If they’ve granted you that leave it’s for a damned good reason. Fuck. Okay. So. I might see you in North Island after all. If you’re here in a couple of weeks that is…”

                “Yeah. Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.”

                “Only the US Navy.”

…             …             …

                His family are happy to see him, his mom organizing a quick family gathering and he’s grateful for the opportunity to see as many of his extended family as possible, although he hates the niggling in the back of his mind that resolves into telling his mom to take lots of photos. She looks close to tears, but she does as he asks, and his father grips his shoulder every time he brushes past. They all know what special leave means.

…             …             …

                He savors the messages more now, studies each of the photos that Jake sends him, asks questions about the other people in the photos. Even has a video call when Jake’s parents apparently insist on meeting whoever it is that Jake keeps messaging. Every moment he’s not intent on teaching and training he’s messaging Jake, hoping that he stays in North Island long enough for him to get back there and scared he won’t be.

…             …             …

                Jake’s been in North Island for ten days, and it’s been intense. Terrifying with what is expected of them, but still so exhilarating. This is why he became a naval aviator, why he worked so hard. There are just other things he’s realized he’d also like in his life. He looks at the house and it’s far bigger than he imagined Bradley having. Or needing. Maybe he shares with some others. The lights are on, he can see someone moving around inside and his stomach won’t stop swooping in anticipation. He knows Bradley gets in this evening, although he’s not sure of the exact time; not wanting to ask specifics for fear of showing his hand, wants to surprise him and also doesn’t want to wait longer before seeing him again.

                Jakes wipes his hands on his jeans, nervous. He’s gone from wanting something quick and dirty with Bradley to wanting… well, he still wants quick and dirty, he’s not a eunuch, however he also wants to take him to dinner and listen to him talk passionately about military free fall physics. Wants to bring him coffee the mornings after the quick and dirty. And its mornings plural, because he’s realized over the last few months (and maybe years?) that once is likely not going to be enough. Feel the fear and do it anyway, that’s how the saying goes right?

                He knocks on the door and waits, imagines what Bradley might be wearing, the look on his face as Jake surprises him with his appearance on his doorstep rather than at dinner tomorrow.

                He does not imagine Captain Maverick Mitchell. Although he definitely looks surprised.

                “Lieutenant. What are you doing here?”

                “Uh. Captain Mitchell.”

                “Yes. How did you get this address?”

                “Uh. I’m looking for Doctor Bradshaw.”

                “Bradley? Why?”

                Jake purses his lips, shrugs and nods because at least it’s Bradley he’s looking for. It’s a good sign that Maverick at least knows who he’s talking about, but that he called him by his first name is a bit unnerving. Maverick still looks just as confused to see him and Jake’s trying to formulate the best way to say he’s just here to see Bradley…

                “I just wanted to see him, sir.”

                Maverick stares at him for an age that just seems to drag before his eyes widen with potential realization and Jake hopes he doesn’t blush.

                “Oh. I didn’t realize you knew Bradley…”

                “Pete, who is it?”

                Holy shit.

                Admiral Kazansky.

                Jake swallows. Whose house is this? Maybe Bradshaw is currently staying with them as a guest? Maybe he’s been given the wrong address as a prank? That would be pretty humiliating. And cruel given that it’s in front of his CO and the COMPACFLT. But he can’t be a guest if he calls San Diego home. He didn’t think Bradley was cruel, had felt that their back-and-forth texting and phone calls were building toward something. But he only threw Maverick out of the Hard Deck ten nights ago and Bradley unintentionally gave him this address nearly two months ago. Maybe he’s moved? His brain can't make sense of anything.

                “Lieutenant.”

                He’s not in uniform, and Admiral Kazansky knows his face enough to know who he is and his rank. He has no idea how to feel about that.

                “Admiral Kazansky sir.”

                “He’s after Bradley,” Maverick provides, and he’s stepping away from the front door, like he’s inviting Jake in, but Jake can’t move.

                “He’s not home yet. His plane is probably still in the air.”

                They know Bradley. They know his schedule, they’re saying he isn’t home. So, this isn’t the wrong address. It explains nothing though.

                “Come in Lieutenant,” Admiral Kazansky states, at the same time Maverick says;

                “Well, you better come in.”

                He was just about to suggest he come back later, however he’s just been invited and sort-of ordered to come in and he nods jerkily, his body stepping forward of it’s own volition.

                “Thank you sir.”

                “You can call me Tom, or Iceman if the first name is a step too far. Just at home. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a bit about you.”

                Fuck. What has he heard exactly?

                He nods again, takes a deep breath to settle the shakiness in his limbs, takes off his shoes, doesn’t think about what the Admiral said, implying that he’d be here, in this home, more than right now. Follows after Maverick to the lounge area and he looks around the room and sees photos, lots of photos and he feels his hairline suddenly prickle with sweat. There’s younger Bradley with Maverick, Bradley and Maverick and Admiral Kazansky on what looks like his promotion ceremony to COMPACFLT and he’s starting to see the picture the photos are painting and it’s making him nervous but it’s also answering so many questions.

NEXT PART (no time jump)

[5t4r1uv3r]

☆ Butters + Team Craig dating hcs ☆

☆ hi everyone!! once again i want to thank everyone for all the love team stan's dating hcs has gotten!! i'm so incredibly grateful for all the support!! so i present butters and team craig's version. as always i welcome feedback/advice!!

characters: butters stotch, craig tucker, clyde donovan, tweek tweak, tolkien black, and jimmy valmer.

reader is gn!! 2406 words!! ☆

☆ It's not the pale moon that excites me. That thrills and delights me, oh no It's just the nearness of you - Laufey ☆

☆ Butters Stotch ☆ 

☆ He is the sweetest boy in the entire world!! He isn’t very confident when it comes to girls, comparing himself to his peers, especially due to the constant belittling from his parents and his friends (mostly Cartman). 

☆ He used his art skills to confess, making a mini book depicting special moments in which he started to love you. As well as your favorite flowers and a teddy bear that reminded him of you. 

☆ As seen in Butters’ past relationships, he gives all of his heart to you. You literally have him wrapped around your finger, if it’s within his abilities, he will do it. 

☆ Butters is a clingy communicator. He will call you over 5 times a day and send you multiple messages. The only exception is when he is grounded, but he has his ways. 

☆ When Butters is grounded he calls and messages you through a burner phone. He has to whisper so he isn’t caught or risks getting the phone confiscated. 

☆ You guys definitely have matching profile pictures on every social media, from pictures of your dates to Sanrio icons, his personal favorites are matching as Hello Kitty and Dear Daniel. He lets you pick who you want to be. 

☆ He will always talk about you to his friends, to the point where everyone knows almost every detail of your relationship. You swear the only thing he has kept hidden is your social security number. 

☆ Dates with Butters include going to Bennigans, Ice cream dates at Willy’s Chilly Ice Cream Parlor using his employee discount, playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure, and sneaking in to hang out when he’s grounded. 

☆ Butters loves PDA, he’s always holding your hand, pinkies interlocked, an arm around your shoulder, or resting his chin on your head. He especially loves it when you trace the scar on his eye. 

☆ Butters is the sweetest and most understanding boyfriend, he will always be there for you, anytime, anywhere, any day.

☆ Craig Tucker ☆

☆ When people first met Craig Tucker many assumed he hated them. Constantly flipping those around you isn’t the friendliest introduction you can make, but that was Craig. 

☆ Being seat partners allowed the two of you to interact more than you have in all the years you’ve known each other. You won him over when you gushed over Stripe, asking him questions about the guinea pig, and wanting any updates about him. 

☆ If you share a love for space and astronomy he is on his knees proposing, in his mind at least. On the outside he would just call you, soooo cool. 

☆ He confessed to you during a trip to the planetarium, wanting to confess under the cosmos. An environment he was familiar with to balance a new step in his life. 

☆ Craig is still deadpan, sarcastic, and stoic, even more so with you. That’s how he shows his love, teasing you to great lengths just to fluster you. Giving you a small smirk after he’s succeeded. 

☆ It’s canon he uses pet names, he prefers to use classic ones such as darling, honey, love, and babe. He’ll only use silly ones such as pookie, snookums, and sweetie pie to get under your skin. 

☆ After a while of being official, Craig calls you Stripe’s parent. One of the ways he’ll tell you he misses you is by saying Stripe misses his parent. 

☆ Dates with Craig will usually be somewhere under the stars. He feels the most comfortable in their presence, any intimate conversation is had in the audience of glimmering lights. 

☆ On the occasion they aren’t, he’ll take you to an amusement park, make dinners, and babysit either Tricia or Stripe. 

☆  Overall he is tough to open up but once you’re in, he’ll love you to the moon and back. 

☆  Clyde Donovan ☆ 

☆ You were in many of Clyde’s classes, most of which you sat behind or near him. He found you very attractive and wanted to talk to you. Being not very academically smart he decided to start asking you about lessons he didn’t understand, especially math ones. 

☆ Winter finals were coming up and the exam for your math class was worth 20% of your grade. Clyde very nervously, decided to ask you if you would help him study at your house. When you agreed he was ecstatic, he viewed it as the perfect opportunity to ask you out on a date. 

☆ After the session Clyde was very straightforward about his intentions. Admitting that he admired your compassion, patience, and good looks. He wanted to get to know you better through dating but would accept if you only wanted to be friends. When you agreed Clyde gave you a childlike grin and promised he would give you his best.

☆ He is a sweetheart with a sensitive soul, so he’ll treat you like royalty and loves if you do the same for him. His love languages are words of affirmation and quality time, especially if he’s on the verge of tears. As he’s gotten older he tries to not let his tears out, striving to be seen as a strong guy. 

☆ He can be a bit cocky, being voted the cutest boy in the 4th grade skyrocketed his ego. So when he flirts he tends to think he’s being smooth in reality he sounds like a dork. If you tease him about it he’ll just pout or try and brush it off by being suave, it does not end in his favor. 

☆ He loves to spoil you with shopping sprees, he has mall connections due to his dad being the owner of the shoe store. So you’ll get to have a field day on him of course. 

☆ For dates Clyde loves having movie nights, being an avid film fan he makes sure you guys are on top of every single new movie coming out, screening, or on the verge of debuting. He loves playing any spot, he is very competitive but will let you win from time to time.

☆ He is super big when it comes to PDA, his hands have to be on you at all times. From having a hand in the pocket of your pants, to an arm around your waist, kissing you anytime he can, and affectionately referring to you with pet names for anyone in a 5-mile radius to hear. 

☆ Clyde will show you off anywhere he can, at his spot games, to his friends, at school, at parties, and to his family. He will talk about you to anyone who will lend an ear. Everyone knows about your relationship, down to every little detail. 

☆ Over all Clyde loves with his very soul, he treasures you like no other. He knows he is lucky to have you by his side. 

☆  Tweek Tweak ☆ 

☆ Tweek has seen you around school and during his shifts at Tweak Bro’s. It was extremely difficult to form a connection since he was extremely weary of everyone. The only way he grew to be more comfortable in your presence was a mixture of making your intentions clear and consistent actions that confirmed your promises.  

☆ When his crush on you started to develop he became an anxious mess, screaming about pressure, shaking constantly, and increasing his coffee intake. 

☆ You had to ask him out since his anxiety kept getting the best of him, it was more of bringing attention to the bond the to of you had since you were always by his side and had crossed the line of best friends.

☆ He isn’t fond of PDA, the only thing he feels comfortable with is hand-holding. Other forms of affection are shown in private settings, he becomes incredibly stressed over showing affection in public. Thinking others are judging his actions or how he shows intimacy. 

☆ You’ve basically become an expert on how to ease his nerves, helping him calm down when he’s especially on edge. In a way, you’re his safe space, he has told you that you give him the feeling of home. Seeing as his home life is chaotic, his parents’ pressure on maintaining the shop, their lack of help on his condition, and the underwear gnomes. He finds solace in you. 

☆ You often help out Tweek when he’s at work, having to be a bit sneaky since his parents want their shop to only be family operated. 

☆ If you’re not helping out in the shop then you’ll be fetching the coffee orders, this is a common occurrence if it’s slow or busy. Tweek is thankful for your help and showers you in praise. 

☆ Dates with him are very personal taking place in locations where it feels like you’re in your own world. Bike rides around town, trips to your secret location, nighttime playground dates, and library trips. 

☆ Physical touch and words of affirmation are his love languages, your company means a lot to him. The security and consistency you provide help him navigate his anxious tendencies. He sometimes feels as if he isn’t enough for you due to his nature, your words settle his mind. 

☆ Thins he loves to do for you are playing songs on the piano and baking your favorite treats. These are ways he shows his love for you since it can be difficult to express his emotions. 

☆  Tolkien Black ☆ 

☆ Tolkien is a known gentleman, he is always willing to help out wherever he can. This along with standing up for what’s right has led you to cross paths with him. Sharing similar morals and maturity levels is what catches his eye. 

☆ Being lifelong friends is what made Tolkien realize he was in love with you. Compared to the rest of the town you were very level-headed and brought a sense of calm in the storm that is South Park. You were his rock, he knew he wanted you in his life forever. 

☆ After a discussion on how to navigate your friendship crossing the line into relationship status you both agreed to take it slow, getting to know each other through a new lens. 

☆ Tolkien isn’t shy of PDA but isn’t very big on it either, he shows a happy medium. Choosing to show you his love where you two are in a world of your own. To the public, they’ll only see arms linked together and the occasional kiss on the cheek. Behind closed doors he is the most passionate lover ever, showering you with kisses and hugging you to no end. 

☆ He is the perfect boyfriend, always there for you when needed whether it be for emotional support, physical needs, or someone to depend on. Tolkien is always there for you. 

☆ Of course he is spoiling you to no ends, if you mention something Tolkien is giving it to you the next day. You told him you ran out of something, he’s got 5 identical ones waiting for you. He picks up extra of your favorite personal care needs so you’ll never run out. You have specific interests? He is getting you every little thing related to it, mountains and mountains of stuff waiting at your disposal. 

☆ Tolkien’s top 2 love languages are physical touch and acts of service. If you hug him he’ll melt in your arms, basically turning into putty. He loves feeling you against him, it makes his heart beat fast. For acts of service it’s because he already has everything he could ever want, but having someone remember the small things he has to do every day warms his heart. It makes him fall for you all over again.

☆ Date nights include game nights he loves having new challenges and facing them with you. Dinner nights especially the ones in which he cooks for you, testing new recipes, and hearing your thoughts make it all worth it. He also loves trying new experiences with you from adventures to new places opening up. 

☆ Tolkien will serenade you with music, from love songs to lullabies when you can’t sleep. He’s got an angelic voice and will use it to express his love. 

☆ The sweetest gentleman around, Tolkien’s love is like no other and it’s only for you.

☆  Jimmy Valmer ☆ 

☆ Jimmy first noticed you at one of his comedy shows, being a frequent audience member he looks forward to seeing you in the crowd. 

☆ After attending his shows he decided to thank you and ask you if you would help him with setups. Giving suggestions and laughing at his material has him head over heels for you. Jimmy lights up whenever he hears your laughter. 

☆ After becoming his right-hand person Jimmy knows he wants you to be by his side forever. After all, laughter makes the heart grow fonder 

☆ Jimmy loves to use corny pick-up lines just to get a giggle or chuckle out of you. It seriously puts the brightest smile on his face, he glows from pride whenever he gets a reaction from you. 

☆ If you unexpectedly return his energy he turns into a little strawberry, red dusting his cheeks as he sends you a smile or laugh. 

☆  He loves to hear words of affirmation from you. Knowing he is the reason for your laughter, smiles, and joy while he’s around, is the reason Jimmy loves what he does. 

☆ Dates with him range from candlelit dinners at Buca de Faggoncini, study dates are 100% a thing as well, he also loves quality time so any moment he can spend with you he’ll take. It’s never a dull moment with him around. 

☆  Comedy club dates happen at least twice a month, a night full of laughter with you in his eyes is heaven. You’ll bond over the evolution of comedy, scoping out new talent, and it also helps with writer’s block. 

☆ You two are known as a dynamic duo around town, never being seen without each other and perfectly balancing each other. Jimmy thinks he’s the luckiest guy, being honored to call himself your boyfriend. 

☆ Jimmy feels blessed to have you as his partner, he thinks you are the coolest and most understanding person on Earth. He cherishes you with all his heart. 

[ijustwanttoreadfanfiction]

Friendly Sex - Chapter 9 - The Calm

We're back baby! Chapter 10 will definitely be up at some point this week but I'm not going to put a time limit on it in case I get bogged down with life etc. Thank you once again to everyone who has liked, reblogged, commented, and messaged you are all actual 'sweethearts'.

Chapter warnings: MDI (18+ only), explicit language, explicit sexual content, p in v sex, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), overstimulation, multiple orgasms, over use of pet names, sex without a condom (reader is on the pill), creampie.

_______________________________________________

Your dad picks you up from Indianapolis Airport just after 6am the following morning, holding you tightly for a good 20 minutes before you both could pull yourselves together, and get back on the road. 

“I didn’t even get to say a proper goodbye to the twins.” You mumble tearfully, forehead resting against the passenger window.

“That’s not your fault sprout. That goddamn Philip, if I'd have been there I'd have laid his ass out.” Your dad seethes, and you can't help but smile, your dad is a good ten years older than Philip, slightly overweight with a heart condition, but you’d still bet money on him. “First thing I’m going to do when we get home is call your mother and give her a piece of my mind.”

“Dad, it’s not worth it.” You say tiredly. “She’s made her choice, and it’s not me.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t pick you a better person to be your mom, kiddo.” He sighs sadly, patting you on the cheek.

You drift off for a while, the gentle rocking of the car soothing along with the quiet radio, it's not until you're 20 minutes outside of town that you wake up properly, stretching as best you can in the cramped car. Your dad is whistling quietly along to John Denver, as you pass the sign for Forest Hills Trailer Park, you wonder what Eddie is up to, thinking about how he talked you down last night.

You told him you missed him, it was a brutally honest moment, never expecting him to return the sentiment. You supposed it was natural to miss someone when you had spent just over a month with them, but you knew it ran deeper than that, you could have called anyone last night but you needed Eddie.

You finally pull onto the drive, the weight of yesterday feeling stronger again, you’re exhausted from all the tears, the pain of your mother’s rejection, the sleepless night in the airport.

Your dad takes your bag out of the trunk, unlocking the door, you toe off your sneakers and notice a fishing rod and tackle box to the side, suddenly remembering your Dad’s plans for the long weekend; fishing at Patoka Lake with his buddies.

“Oh Dad, I'm sorry, you were supposed to be on your fishing trip!" You cry feeling awful.

"Hey, don't worry about it sprout, there'll be plenty of other trips over the summer." He reasons, dumping your bag down. "Besides, you're more important right now."

"But you've been looking forward to it for months. Why don’t you call Dale? You can still make it up there. I’ll be ok on my own.” You say earnestly,

“I dunno kiddo.” He says scratching his head. “You being on your own after last night doesn’t sit right with me.”

“Well how about I call Robin? See if she wants to stay over?” Knowing damn well Robin wouldn’t be the person you were going to actually call. You could see the turmoil in your Dad’s eyes, you sigh hugging him round the middle.

“Dad please go fishing, I just need a girl’s night, ice cream, crying, watching Grease.” That did it, and you couldn’t help but smile as he tensed in your hold, your dad hated Grease.

“You sure sprout?” He asks, hands practically itching for the fishing pole.

“Positive.”

____________________________________________________

You do feel a small twinge of guilt at your white lie as you wave your dad off, but it quickly evaporates into a strange sense of excitement and anticipation at the idea of having Eddie in your house. You rush to the phone in the kitchen, hopping up onto the counter as you listen to the rings, cord twirled tight about your hand.

“Hello?” A gruff much older voice than Eddie’s answers, this must be the illusive Wayne, or rather the Wayne you’ve been tactically avoiding.

“Oh - uh - hi Mr Munson, my name is Y/n, I’m a - friend of Eddie’s, is he around?” You don’t know why you’re stammering so much, although it might be because the inappropriate part of your brain is screaming ‘Hi Mr Munson, I’m booty calling your nephew, also we’ve banged on your couch - sorry.’

“You wanna speak to Eddie and you’re a girl?” He asks, sounding surprised and it throws you for a loop.

“Um - last time I checked, yes Sir.” You mumble, laughing awkwardly.

“You’re a girl and you’re calling for Eddie?” He clarifies again. “Alright - he’s outside, let me get him.”

The line goes silent for a moment but then you can hear Wayne call something out and Eddie’s voice getting closer.

“- jeez Wayne, why you gotta be so - Sweetheart?” He’s out of breath.

“Hi.” You say simply.

“You ok? You home? Are you safe?” He asks rapidly and you wonder if he’s been worrying about you all night, it made your heart do a funny flip.

“I’m fine Ed’s, I crashed at the airport and caught a flight out just before 4am, I got home about an hour ago.” You reassure him, hearing him exhale heavily.

“You had me so scared last night.” He mutters.

“Yeah, it was intense.” You agree, wiping your clammy palms on your jeans, now feeling nervous. “So, uh I was wondering and you can say no, but my dad has gone fishing for the weekend, did you maybe wanna come over and -” 

“- yes.” Eddie jumps in before you can finish. “Uh, sorry, yeah I’d love to come over, if that’s cool?”

“Yeah it’s cool.” You say smiling, swinging your legs slightly against the counter.

“What time do you want me?” He asks. A loaded question.

Whilst your urge to see Eddie is strong you look like shit, desperately needing to sleep, shower and get groceries.

“Dinnertime? Does six work?”

“It works, see you then princess.”

___________________________________________________

You had briefly called Robin in between your nap and going to the store, filling her in on the events in Chicago, and that Eddie was coming round for the evening. But it seemed you weren’t the only one who went through some shit last night.

“-come again?” You ask, ears ringing slightly.

“Steve and Nancy had a big fight yesterday.” She sighs, and you can hear her pacing in the background.

“What about?” You ask, biting at your thumb.

“He didn’t really say, well more he wasn’t in a fit state to say, he was hammered by

the time I got to him. But if I deciphered his slurs correctly, Nancy had booked plane tickets to go and see Jonathon next weekend without telling Steve.”

“Shit.” You breathe, sitting down on your bed. “I mean maybe she just forgot to tell him?” You offer weakly.

“Doubtful. Either way it sounds like they both said some pretty hurtful things to each other, I think they might be on a break.” She says seriously.

You felt dizzy, you had left Hawkins for all of 24 hours, everything was bright and breezy, you came back and Steve and Nancy are on a break?

“So, Eddie was a lifeline yesterday huh?” She asks, snapping you back to the present.

“Yeah.” You say quietly, mind reeling. “He was really sweet.”

“What’s your plan for tonight?”

“Uh, spaghetti.” You mumble, shaking your head slightly to clear Steve’s image from your head.

“- and?” She presses.

“And spaghetti, Rob.” You laugh wryly.

“Well, whatever you crazy kids are calling it, be safe!” Robin teases, and you flush.

“Ok, bye, Robin, hanging up now!”

“No - wait! Call me tomor-” You put the phone down, running your hand across your face, Steve could be single. Could be, but his track record said otherwise, and his voice from last month was clear as a bell ‘-me and Nance, we always find our way back to each other. I can be myself around her, you know? No bullshit, it’s easy.’ 

“It’s a blip.” You mutter aloud. “Not worth thinking about.”

_______________________________________________________

You should have ordered pizza, good god why didn’t you just order pizza?! You had to go to three different grocery stores in order to get everything you needed for Bolognese, which took up an extra hour of your time. The tried and trusted recipe of your Nana’s inexplicably failing you after 9 years of flawless service, maybe she didn’t approve of your dinner guest. The pasta had clumped together in the water, leaving a stodgy mass, the sauce was weirdly acidic and salty having caught on the hob, and you’d slopped red wine down your white t-shirt when the cork shot out. At this rate the garlic bread would be the only thing edible.

Ding-dong.  The doorbell sounded more akin to a death knell.

You glance at yourself in the hallway mirror as you run for the door and groan, your hair frizzy from the cooking steam, face flushed, the large wine stain looking like you’d thrown up blood.

So why, when you open the door, is Eddie looking at you like you’re the best thing he’s ever seen?

“Hi.” He grins, leaning against the porch, he’s trying to affect a pose of nonchalance but you notice his left leg is bouncing slightly.

“Hi.” You say breathlessly, attempting to smooth down your hair. “Where’s your van?” You ask, peering past him to the empty driveway.

“Oh, I parked it up at Gareth’s, didn’t want your neighbours to give you a hard time, tell your dad or something.” He answers sheepishly.

“You didn’t have to, Mrs Roberts is blind as a bat.” You laugh, thumbing to the house on your right. “You wanna come in?” You ask, awkwardly jumping to one side, realizing you’re barring the doorway.

“Thanks.”

You watch him take in the lower part of the house from the hall, consciously slipping his battered Reeboks off onto the doormat, hanging his jacket up carefully on the coat hook.

“Nice place.” He says, smiling widely as he looks at a picture of you on the wall, taken when you were in kindergarten, bright yellow dress and bows in your pigtails to match. “Very cute.”

“Shut up.” You laugh, shoving him lightly, he catches your arm and brings you in for a bone breaking hug. You wrap your arms about him instinctively, his head pressing to the top of yours, rocking you slightly.

A lot of unsaid things pass through, it's a hug of comfort about what happened with your mom, it’s a hug of missing each other, it’s a hug that’s needed by both parties and you find yourself burrowing a little closer. He pulls back after a minute or so to look at you properly.

“You good?” He asks gently, thumbs rubbing across your cheeks.

“'M good.” You mumble, smiling softly. He leans down to kiss you when he stops just shy of your lips, to sniff the air.

“Do I smell burning?”

“SHIT!” You shout, pelting towards the kitchen, smoke billowing from the oven. You grab some mitts, and extract a heavily cremated loaf of garlic bread, coughing as you heave it into the sink.

“Aw honey, you baked.” Eddie croons, wrapping his arms about your waist from behind, you can feel his chest vibrating with barely held in chuckles.

“It’s a disaster.” You whine, leaning back into his embrace.

“What was it supposed to be?” He asks gingerly, lifting a saucepan lid to examine the spaghetti log.

“Spaghetti Bolognese.” You sigh.

“Well, points for effort princess.” He laughs openly, spinning you in his arms. “Do you have ramen noodles?”

You grab two packets of ramen from the pantry as Eddie pulls on an apron with a flourish tasting the sauce, wincing slightly. “You got any sugar?” He asks.

You dutifully pass him the sugar bag, watching as he eyeballs a small amount of sugar into the pan.

“My old man is a shitty person but he always knew how to make a mean pasta sauce.” He notices your curious expression, holding the spoon out to you, the sugar has managed to balance out the acidity and salt. 

“Salvageable.” You nod impressed.

Eddie dumps the dead spaghetti into the sink on top of the still smouldering bread, putting fresh water into the pan along with the ramen noodles as you pour the rest of the wine, handing him a glass.

“It’s supposed to have tasting notes of cherries, chocolate and cinnamon.” You read off the bottle label, sniffing yours.

“Tastes -” He takes a healthy gulp “-like wine, so - fucking gross.”

 You laugh, passing him the colander for the noodles, and grabbing some pasta bowls and cutlery.

It’s a sickeningly domesticated scene, the two of you sat at the breakfast bar, knee to knee, slurping away at the strange dish.

“Well sweetheart, we’ve managed to insult two great nations at the same time, cheers to Japan and Italy.” He grins lifting his glass of wine in a toast.

“Or we’ve created some kind of new fusion that will take the world by storm and we’ll be rich.” You counter argue.

“Oh yeah, this is some Michelin Man shit right here.” He says, taking another huge forkful.

“Michelin star.” You correct, laughing, feeling lighter than you have in hours.

You wash up the dishes together, Eddie constantly finding excuses to touch you, until you flick dishwater at him.

“Ah, now princess, play nice.” He warns, wiping his sudsy face with a smirk, pinching your side. You cup a large handful of bubbles, advancing on him menacingly.

“You wouldn’t.” He challenges, eyes narrowing.

“Try me Munson.” You dare.

“Truce?” He asks carefully, hands raised in peace.

You nod, letting him get close again before shoving your wet hand up his back.

“Oh you’ve done it now.” He laughs loudly, grabbing the dish cloth aiming a whip towards your ass.

“Eddie no!” You screech, rounding the breakfast bar, chucking an orange at his head.

“It’s war Y/n!” He yells, chasing you, you race out of the kitchen pounding up the stairs to your room, giggling wildly, you’re just in the door when he seizes you about the waist, lifting you off the floor.

“Ed’s put me down!” You gasp, laughing so hard it hurts your ribs.

He pretends to suplex you into the bed, but he’s gentle as he lowers you, protecting your head from the bounce hovering above you.

“Do you submit?” He asks breathlessly, hair mussed up, t-shirt slightly wet.

“Never.” You say defiantly, the effect somewhat lost as you trace your hands up his arms.

He presses his lips to yours, the last of your breath leaving you in a pleased gasp as he deepens the kiss, hands stroking idly up your slides and across your stomach.

“Missed you sweetheart.” He murmurs against your lips, your heart pounding like you’ve run up the stairs again. 

“Missed you too.” You mumble quietly, fingers scratching gently through his hair. “Wasn’t gone for that long though.” You remind him.

“Doesn’t matter, you weren’t close by, I didn’t like it.” He says, brown eyes staring intensely into yours, your mouth feels dry, filled with a jumble of words that don’t quite make it out. You settle for bringing him in for another kiss. Time seems to stand still, as you both lay there, absorbed in each other’s mouths, hands wandering, squeezing, stroking, until he suddenly stops a confused expression on his face.

“Ed’s?” You whisper, chest heaving.

“Who - do we have here?” He asks with a smirk, you feel your eyes widen in embarrassment as he extracts your childhood teddy bear from under your back, having forgotten to put him in the closet earlier. “This is a very respectable looking teddy bear princess, does he have a name?” He teases, making the bear wave.

You glare at him, making a snatch for it.

“His name is Bearington Bear the Third and he’s very old, so gimmie.” You pout, blushing.

“Bearington Bear the Third?” Eddie repeats with unbridled joy. “That is one hell of a name.” He laughs but relents in passing you the bear which you quickly kiss before unceremoniously throwing it across the room.

“That is no way to treat an elderly person.” Eddie gasps scandalized, you’re about to punch him when your phone rings making you jump, you roll away quickly grabbing the receiver.

  “Hello?”

“Hey kiddo, just thought I’d check in.” Your dad says, sounding very cheerful.

“Hey Dad, yeah everything’s all good here.” You say, trying to ignore Eddie who has decided to place kiss after kiss to the side of your neck. “Uh- how’s the fish?” You ask, elbowing him away but it just spurs him on, nipping at the soft skin.

“They’re biting pretty good, got a couple cooking up now. Gordon and Dale say hello.” You snag your lip on your teeth, as Eddie sucks on a particularly sensitive spot, attempting to lean away from his touch. “Sprout, you still there?” 

“Yeah I'm here dad, just uh - got distracted by the film.” You mumble shakily, a kiss pressed dangerously close to your mouth.

“That Travolta boy shaking his ass about again?” He asks with a laugh.

“Um - s-something like that.” You stammer, Eddie’s fingers splayed across your naval, threatening to move lower beneath the band of your leggings.

“Alright kiddo, I'll let you get back to it. Have a good night with Robin, love you.”

“Love you too Dad.” You slam the phone down as Eddie slips his fingers into your panties, lightly circling your clit.

“That was fucking mean Eddie.” You gasp, back arching into his chest. 

“Sorry baby, I just couldn’t help myself.” He groans, sinking a finger into your tight heat.

“Fuck.” You whimper, bringing an arm back to curl around his neck.

“This fucking pussy, jesus.” He growls next to your ear, nipping at your lobe, another finger pressing past the wetness gathered between your thighs.

He pulls you backwards so he’s resting against the headboard, your back pressed to his chest, legs cradling you as he pumps in and out, turning his head to kiss you, tongue fucking your mouth in the same rhythm. It’s maddening, his free hand cupping your breast, thumbing over the nipple, his hardness rutting against your spine.

“Ed’s.” You whine, hips rolling to meet his movements. 

“Let me get you there baby.” He huffs. “Wanna make you feel good.”

He slips from your cunt to rub rapidly at your swollen clit, the warmth moves slowly from your belly, washing across you in a gentle wave. You mewl into his mouth, Eddie swallowing every sound with his own.

He shifts out from under you, letting you fall back against the pillows, hands pulling at your leggings and panties, hooking your legs over his shoulders, tongue flicking straight at your sensitive bud. It’s like he’s making out with your pussy, wet, sinful, decadent. 

“Oh - god.” You stutter, hands gripping at hair.

“Feel good sweetheart?” He asks needlessly, fingers re-entering your cunt, crooking them to rub against the spongy spot that has you immediately cresting again, hips canting against his mouth.

“Eddie, fuck me please.” You beg.

“Your wish is my command.” He grins, stripping in record time, you pull your wine ruined top off, both of you bare and wanting. Eddie’s face falls suddenly.

“Shit! I forgot to bring condoms.” The poor boy looks devastated and you can’t help but giggle.

“Ed’s c’mere.” You beckon, he does as he’s told, crawling back between your plush thighs. “I’m on the pill, I have been for years.” You soothe, hands running over his back.

“You - you are?” He stammers, ears bright red and burning. “And you don’t mind me -” He trails off looking at you pointedly.  “ - I mean I'm clean, I've had the checks.”

“I’m clean too, and no I don’t mind.” You grin bashfully, he looks like a kid at Christmas.

“Oh holy shit this is hot.” He breathes, cock braced in his hand, sliding through your slick, you nod vigorously, the skin to skin feeling electrified.

He pushes in and you both gasp, you can feel every vein, bump and ridge as he drags along your walls. 

“Fuck baby, you’re so warm.” He moans, head dropping into your neck, kissing at your pulse point.

“Eddie.” Is all you can say like a record stuck on repeat, each thrust and snap intensified, the wet slapping of your bodies meeting in a delicious slide.

“Wanna ride you.” You murmur, sucking on his bottom lip.

“Jesus H Christ you’re gonna kill me.” He groans, rolling you both so you’re on top, you brace your hands on his chest, helping you to bounce, Eddie holds your hips so tightly you can feel bruises blooming and it sends you to dizzying heights.

“Baby, baby, baby.” He chants, grabbing the back of your hair, smashing your lips together, his hips pounding up into you. You rub at your clit, whimpering as the coil winds tighter and tighter.

“You gonna cum sweetheart?” He asks moving faster, and you can only nod, writhing on top as the band snaps.

“Oh god, I can feel you.” He whines, head pressed back as he ruts up harder. “Where - where can I cum princess?” He asks desperately, looking like he’s barely clinging onto sanity.

“Inside. Eddie, please cum inside me.” You cry, nails digging into his shoulders.

Eddie makes a choking noise, the veins in his neck strained tight, strong hands working your slick cunt over him continuously as he pumps into you. It sends you over for a fourth and final time, the warmth of him spilling out and around, both of you clinging to each other like life preservers.

“Sweetheart, I -” You wait for the rest of the sentence, heart pounding so hard you can hear it in your ears but he just gathers you impossibly tighter, pressing a hard burning kiss to your swollen lips. “ - I have a great time with you.” He breathes fiercely.

“I have a great time with you too, Eds.” You whisper, kissing him back.

Taglist:

@avalon-wolf @mystars123 @lolalanaie @eddiemunsonsgf2@eddieslildarling@bakugouswh0r3@sidthedollface2@81rain@blueberrylemontea-fanfic@winchester-angel@bimbobaggins69@tuskjohnny@fckyeahlames@thecomfortgoth@alanamarie@miarosso@ghosttownwherenoonegoes@somespicystuff@eddiethesexy @unfocused81 @1paire2vans @take-everything-you-can @mynameismothra @kingaa101

[eternal-kosmo-ghoul]

Hi I was wondering if you could write maybe an angsty Terzo fic? Full creative freedom to you but I randomly started to think of "Why'd you only ever call me when you're high?" By artic monkeys fits him kinda in my eyes.

❝why’d you only call me when you’re high?❞

➵ “left you multiple missed calls and to my message, you reply…” —❤︎

pairing: terzo x gn!reader

theme: angst ❦

a/n: the way i am in love with this request. i love terzo and that song definitely fits him. hope you like angst

cw: alcohol consumption. substance abuse (weed). bittersweet ending. hints of terzo’s death. terzo being kinda neglectful of the reader. fighting-ish, lots of sad feelings

┅✦┅

“you’re doing it again, terzo.”

“doing what?”

“you know exactly what i mean.”

you just stood over terzo’s desk, tapping your foot with your arms crossed, gaze narrowed at the emeritus in a stern manner. meanwhile, terzo returned your gaze with an annoyed glare.

“leave me alone, y/n. i’m perfectly fine. i don’t need you babysitting me like i’m some toddler.” terzo spat back with a harsh tone, running his gloved hand through his raven-black hair while he directed his attention back to whatever alcohol he was downing.

“well i feel like i have to! you’re wasting your life away on all of this useless junk!” you retorted back, voice raising in pitch as you watched your lover just stay focused on the substances he was downing himself in.

it was a rather sad sight, and a difficult situation for the two of you. terzo has been incredibly stressed out as the era’s current frontman for the ministry.

you couldn’t blame him, it was not an easy job at all. from warding off jesus-preachers and hardcore christians from the ministry, to keeping everything in check with sister imperator and the ghouls.

it was only a matter of time before the work got to him.

why must he wash his sorrows away through the means of elicit liquor and powdered drugs?

“look at yourself, terzo! your face paint is all smudged, and you look like you haven’t slept in days. can you at least try to get your life together?” you asked with your hands on your hips, stepping over to get real close to terzo— who was still lazily hunched over his desk.

upon hearing your words, terzo scowled and shot up from his seat, turning to glare at you with a hiss. due to the sudden change in position, he stumbled a bit from the dizziness, and due to the side effects of the alcohol and weed.

“can you just fuck off, y/n? i’m a perfectly capable and responsible man. i don’t need your ass monitoring me.” terzo slurred out in an agitated and angered tone, shoving your shoulder. it took you aback.

this wasn’t like the sweet terzo you once knew. he was normally so heartwarming, always being gentle with you. his touch normally felt warm.

but this time, it was ice cold.

“terzo…” you trailed off, finding yourself at a loss for words. you just wanted your lover back. this wasn’t the same guy you once knew. whatever happened to that soft-spoken and flirty terzo?

because this man just looked bitter, like he hated himself, hated the world.

and yet, it didn’t look like he hated you.

terzo knew he was acting like a jackass to you, neglecting your affectionate needs and advances. but with everything that’s being onto him, how could he not? especially since his era is coming to a close soon, and a new era means that a new papa was going to come around.

he knew he was going to get replaced brutally, which is why he’s been so stressed. but terzo didn’t want to tell you that, even if he’s being a complete jerk and wasting his last few moments away.

“just get out of here, y/n. you don’t have to worry about me.” terzo tried to say coldly, but there was a hint of vulnerability in his voice, which you definitely picked up on.

despite this, all of the alcohol circulating in his bloodstream caused him to collapse, and blackout, almost hitting the floor. your reflexes were quick and you managed to catch terzo.

he looked incredibly miserable, even when he was passed out like this. sighing, you just brushed the hair out of his face.

“you idiot.” you mumbled to yourself, dragging terzo’s unconscious body to his room.

gently laying him down on the bed, you made sure to keep a trash fan nearby incase he needed to throw up when he woke up. terzo’s chest rose and fall with each heavy breath he took.

it would’ve looked so peaceful if it weren’t for terzo’s current condition. you wished you could’ve helped him more.

sighing, you put a hand over terzo’s, gently tracing circles in his palm while he slept.

maybe you could be the last bit of comfort terzo experiences before he perishes.

“goodnight, terzo.” you whispered softly, pressing a kiss against his cheek.

you never left his side that night.

[bellaireland1981]

Stubborn Hearts | 5

Summary: Reader (Firecracker, Sunshine) has been in love with Bradley since she was a young girl. Growing up the two were inseparable, apart from short periods of time when she was on the West Coast with the Kazanskys. One faithful decision by her dad to block Bradley from going to the Naval Academy resulted in a huge rift between father and daughter and left her without Bradley in her life. Now all grown up, she’s called back to the west coast at the same time as her father and Bradley. Her mission, according to her dying godfather, is to mend fences with her dad and Bradley. Can stubborn hearts be healed?

(I suck at summaries for real).

This will have multiple chapters… this is 5 of ??

Characters: Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Mitchell! Reader, Pete “Maverick” Mitchell x Daughter! Reader, The Dagger Squad, Shay (OC), Penny, Tom “Iceman” Kazansky

Word Count: 4717

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Death of character, TGM Spoilers, Illusions to Smut (later on ), Turbulent relationship with parent, Friends to lovers, …Please let me know if I’ve missed any!

A/N- This is my first time writing for TGM. I do not own the characters or plot lines from the movie. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY OR REPRODUCE MY WORK ON THIS OR ANY OTHER PLATFORM! Reblogging is always welcome! Feedback is MUCH loved and appreciated. THANK YOU to @waywardodysseys​ for all support and bouncing ideas!!

Ch 1    Ch 2   Ch 3   Ch 4

Tags below ! If I forgot anyone, please message me! If you want to be added, let me know!

Over the course of the next several days, you spent more and more time at home, helping your aunt, keeping your cousins busy, and helping keep your uncle as comfortable as possible. The cancer was winning. Each day your uncle became weaker and weaker. As hard as it was on you to see the strong man losing his battle, you knew that it was a million times harder on your aunt and cousins. You made it your mission to stay strong when around everyone else and you only let yourself break down when you were alone in your room at night.

Needing to talk to someone you finally broke down and called Shay. You always hated bothering people with your problems,  but you needed a friend.

“Hey!” Shay answered after only a couple of rings. “I was just thinking about calling since I hadn’t heard from you in a couple of days.”

“Hey.” You replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “It’s gotten bad, Shay. I don’t think there’s much time left. He sleeps more than he’s awake.”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” She replied. You could hear muffled voices in the background then she was back. “I’ll head over there and we can go for a ride or we can sit outside and talk, or I can just sit with you.”

“It’s ok, you don’t have to… you’re busy” You replied, “I will be ok.”

“It’s just Jake here, it’s ok.” She replied, “I’m coming over now.”

Before you could reply, another voice sounded on the phone.

“Hey, Sweets.” Jake said, “No arguing. We’re heading your way now. We’ll stop for chocolate shakes because…ice cream has magical healing powers, then we’ll be here.”

“Thank you,” Your voice cracking with emotion.

“We’re already walking to the truck,” he said.

After getting off the phone, you pulled a hoodie over your tank top and slipped on your flip flops before going downstairs. The house was pretty quiet. The kids were watching a movie with your aunt, your uncle sleeping upstairs.

“Jake and Shay are on their way over, Aunt Sarah.” You said quietly, not wanting to interrupt. “We’ll just be out on the back patio if you need anything.”

“Ok, Sweetheart.” She said, offering a small smile, “There’s drinks and snacks in the kitchen.”

You sat out on the front steps, arms wrapped around your knees, chin resting on your knees, and looking up at the stars. It was a clear night. No clouds in the sky and the weather was warm enough without being too warm.

Not long after, headlights flashed across the driveway, a truck pulling in and parking behind the Jeep. In no time two doors had slammed and Jake and Shay were walking towards you.

“Milkshakes, as promised.” Jake said, when they got to the steps. He reached his free hand down to help you up from the step then gently pulled you in for a hug.

“Thanks, guys.” You said, overwhelmed with gratitude that they’d dropped their plans for the night to come to you. “We can go around back to the patio.”

“Of  course, Y/N” Shay said, hugging you, “This is the bare minimum of friendship.”

“We’d be really shitty friends if we didn’t show up with milkshakes at a time like this.” Jake added, trying to pull a smile from you. “Let’s get these downed before they melt.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you really wanted milkshakes and this gave you a great excuse?” You asked, leading them around the path to the back of the house. There was a  patio off the sitting room that  really was more of a large barbeque area with the grill set up to one side and a table with chairs set up next to it. You all sat at the table, Jake passing out the shakes.

“I try not to over indulge too often, but when the situation calls for a milkshake, I’m not turning it down.” Jake admitted, “I had them add extra whip cream and cherries to these too.”

“Thank you, Jake.” You said, taking a sip, “It means a lot.”

“I know we’re a new crew and all, but like we established at the beginning, you’re part of the squad now.” He said, “We take care of one another. Plus, with Shay being my girl, you’re kind of stuck with me.”

“I am honored to have you and the others as my friends.” You said, smiling at them. “So y’all are official now, huh?”

“I knew before the first date, I was keepin’ this one.” Jaked smiled, winking at Shay. “She took a little more convincing.”

“Don’t let her fool you, Jake.” You teased, “She fell for you the first time you came over to the bar flirting like your life depended on it.”

“Hey!!” Shay protested, “Y/N, you’re not supposed to sell me out like that! You’re not a very good wingwoman!”

“I beg to differ.” You replied, “I did help you get Jake here.”

“Before I forget, Penny said if you need anything to call her.” Shay said, “We were at the Hard Deck when you called.”

“Oh my God, y’all were out with everyone and left?” You asked, “You said it was just Jake!”

“Of course we left.” Jake said, as though it were obvious. “You needed us, we came. What the hell kinda friends did you have back in Virginia!?”

“Apart from Bradley?” You asked, feeling your stomach drop, “Not really many at all. I was always kinda standoffish growing up because I never knew how long I’d get to actually stay in one spot. Bradley was the only constant there and Shay was my constant here.”

“Even more reason for me to kick his ass.” Jake grumbled, “Well all that changes now. You have all of us. Regardless of what side of the map we end up on.”

“I happily accept.” You said, wiping tears from your face for what felt like the millionth time that day.

“Also, in the interest of total honesty,” Shay said, “Rooster was there when we took the call. He looked ready to jump in his Bronco and head over, but Phoenix told him it was probably best not to. She said you had enough on your plate.”

“As much as it kills me to say it, and it does hurt…trust me,” Jake added, “He looked like he’d been kicked in the gut when he heard you upset… and like a kicked puppy when Phoenix stopped him from coming.”

“He’s the one that was always there when the chips were down growing up.” You confided in them, “When my mom died, I was really young…older than Bradley when his dad died, but young all the same. He sat with me and watched Disney movies on repeat because it’s all that would calm me. I was there for him when his mom got sick and would sit with him doing nothing or playing games. It’s what we always did… until we didn’t. Until he left.”

“I’m not saying to necessarily rehash it all with him now or try to talk things out when emotions are high and we’re training for the mission,” Jake started, his green gaze meeting your own, “But at some point…when you’re feeling up to it… I think the two of you need to sit down and really talk. But also, really listen to the other. You’ll be surprised at what you learn.”

“He’s right.” Shay agreed, “Yours and Bradley’s story isn’t over, Y/N. You’re just at an intermission.”

The two stayed with you for a couple of hours, talking about anything and everything just to keep your mind off of your Uncle. Finally, when you and Shay had yawned for the tenth time, Jake had laughed and said it was time for his girls to call it a night. After rounds of hugs and promises to call the next day, Jake and Shay headed out and you went inside and up to your room.

You were just about to put your phone on the charger for the night when it dinged, alerting you to a new message.

You unlocked it and opened your messages app to find a new text from an unknown number.

Unknown: Don’t be mad. I had to work really hard to get your number from Phoenix… promising she could do bodily harm to me if I fucked this up. I just… I needed to check on you and make sure you’re ok. I overheard when you called Shay. I’m probably the last person you want to see or talk to, but for what it’s worth, Sunshine… I care a whole hell of a lot, and I am here if you need me. Always.

Tears started to freefall down your face once again. You gave up trying to fight them and just let yourself cry, clutching your phone to your chest. You wanted nothing more than to reply back that you did in fact want to see and talk to him. You  missed him, you missed the comfort and security he could provide. You loved him.

A while later once the tears dried up, you held your phone up, unlocking it once more. You tapped the dots next to the message and saved his number to your phone before opening the text again.

You: Thank you, Bradley. I’m… ok.

You hit send then silenced your phone and set it on the charger before laying back down and letting yourself drift off to sleep.

_________________________

The next day was spent helping your aunt and again keeping the kids distracted. You’d just finished getting lunch ready for everyone when your aunt came into the kitchen. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying, and she looked exhausted. You were pretty sure she hadn’t slept much in the last few days.

“Aunt Sarah,” You said gently, “I can sit with Uncle Tommy, you need to try to rest. You’re running on less than fumes at this point.”

“I know.” She said, offering a weak, teary smile. “I’m just scared he won’t be there when I wake up.”

“I promise to come get you if anything changes.” You replied, “I’m worried about you. You’re about to fall over.”

“Maybe I’ll go lie down for just a little bit.” She conceded. “I just pressed the button on the IV for more pain meds, so he’s sleeping again.”

“Ok.” You said, “I’ll go up and sit with him. You rest. We’ve got this, Aunt Sarah.”

“I love you, Sweetheart.” She said, hugging you tightly.

“I love you too.” You replied, hugging her back.

You grabbed a bottle of water, a book and your phone before heading into your aunt and uncle’s room. The curtains were drawn to block the bright sun so it wouldn’t disturb your uncle. There was an overstuffed chair next to their bed that you curled up into. For a moment you just sat and watched your uncle sleep. It was easy to almost fool yourself into believing  he really was simply napping and he wasn’t sick. Until you looked closer and his coloring looked off and he had the IV coming out and other wires hooked to the monitor. Hospice had finally been called to set him up to keep him comfortable. You hoped he was comfortable. The idea of him being in pain physically hurts your heart.

“Hi, Uncle Tommy.” You whispered, standing up and walking to the side of the bed he was laying on. You carefully covered his hand with your own, mindful not to move him too much. “I love you, so so much. I know you’re tired. I just wanted to tell you, we’re ok. All of your people…we’ll be ok. Selfishly, I want you to stay. I don’t want to be in a world without my Uncle Ice. But I know it’s almost time…and it’s ok, Uncle Tommy. Whenever you’re ready… it’s ok.”

You felt a gentle squeeze where your hand was connected to his. You looked over to see his eyes were still closed and he appeared to be sleeping, but you knew he’d heard you. You opted to stay next to him for a while longer, not wanting to break the contact. Eventually though, his breathing evened out again and his hand loosened in yours. You carefully went back to the chair and sat down. You didn’t even attempt to pick up your book to read, knowing you wouldn’t be able to focus. Instead, you simply sat in the peaceful silence. The only sounds were the monitor quietly beeping.

You must have drifted off for a short time. You were startled awake by the vibrating of your phone. Seeing you had several message notifications you quickly opened the messaging app, worried it was something with your dad.

Shay: Hey… just checking in. Hope you’re doing ok today. Call me if you need anything. I can be there in minutes.

Shay: Me again…umm, so Jake just called. He said there was an incident in training. Phoenix and Bob had to punch out of their plane… I think they’re ok. Waiting to hear more.

Jake: Hey, Sweets. Bad day today here in training. Phoenix and Bob had a bird strike. They’ll be ok. Your dad is kinda shaken up though. May wanna call him. Hope you’re doing ok. Call me if you need a milkshake delivery.

Shay: Ok, just talked to Jake. They’re ok. Getting checked out at the hospital but will be sent home right away. Your dad may need a pep talk.

You were glad they let you know what had happened. You knew they were right about your dad. He’d be a mess tonight. You would call him as soon as Aunt Sarah woke. You made sure to reply to them both.

You: Hey Jake. Thank you for letting me know that Phoenix and Bob are ok. Keep me posted on how they’re doing. I will call my dad in a bit. I’m sitting with Uncle Tommy while Aunt Sarah gets some sleep. Bird strike is what happened with Goose.”

Jake: I remembered hearing it was something like that. Are you hanging in there? Shay and I can bring dinner…and milkshakes.

You: I’m … ok. I will let you know about milkshakes. :) I was planning on ordering pizza for everyone tonight. You and Shay spend time together. Take her on a date ;)

Jake: Yes, Ma’am! Call if you need anything. :)

After responding to him, you returned Shay’s texts as well.

You: Hey, I’m doing ok… love you for checking in. Thanks for letting me know what happened, glad they’re ok. I told Jake to take you on a date tonight. ;)

Shay: Only you would be arranging dates for someone else at a time like this. :) Love you too. I’m serious though, call if you need anything.

You: I will, I promise. Have fun

You scrolled through social media for a while, needing mindless entertainment. You allowed yourself to click on Bradley’s instagram profile and scroll through his posts. He didn’t have many. There were a couple of newer posts with the squad but mostly it was older stuff from other bases. You were secretly happy to see his page was free of any other females. It seemed he’d been more focused on his career than on girlfriends.

Your aunt came in a while later, having napped for a little while. She looked a little less run down but she would need to sleep for a month to make up for the lack of sleep now.

“Any change?” She asked, looking at the monitor.

“Not that I’ve noticed.” You answered, “his vitals seem to be staying around the same. He’s slept the whole time. I wasn’t sure how often you push the pain button, but he wasn’t showing signs of pain.”

“Thank you, Sweetheart.” She said, “I needed the rest more than I thought.”

“Of course,” You replied, “I’m going to order pizza for dinner. I can bring some up to you or I can swap out again so you can eat with the kids.”

“That sounds good.” She replied.

You gave her a quick hug on your way out of the room. You headed downstairs, checking in on the kids, who were engrossed in a movie. You decided to go to the other family room to call your dad.

“Just the voice I needed to hear.” Mav said, picking up quickly. “Everything ok?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” You replied, “Jake texted me and said you might need a pep talk.”

“Not the best day for sure.” He replied, “I am starting to doubt that I was the right person to instruct these aviators. I think your uncle may have had too much faith in me.”

“Not true, Dad.” You replied, “He knew you were the best for the job. One bad day doesn’t cancel out the rest. Phoenix and Bob aren’t you and Goose. The situation wasn’t the same.”

“Maybe not the same but close enough to make the memories flood back.” He admitted. “I think it hit Bradley hard too. I’m going to check on him in a bit.”

“That’s good.” You replied, “Maybe it’ll be the opening you need to talk…try to fix what’s broken.”

“Don’t get your hopes up, Firecracker.” He cautioned, “It could also have the opposite effect.”

“All you can do is try.” You said, “Are you ok though, Dad?”

“I’m ok.” He said, “How are things going there?”

“Not great.” You admitted reluctantly, not wanting to add to your dad’s plate. “I finally got Aunt Sarah to take a nap though and I sat with Uncle Tommy.”

“Let me know if you need anything. I can come by later to check in.” Mav offered, “I’m going to go find Rooster and check on him.”

“Good Luck.” You said. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” He replied.

After hanging up you glanced at the clock then decided to order pizza. Not sure what to order, you went in search of your cousins to get their order.

“Hey guys” You said, entering the living room, “We’re getting pizza tonight, any preferences?”

“We usually get a cheese pizza and a pepperoni pizza and then mom orders a Hawaiian pizza for herself and dad.” Your cousin, Jack replied.

“Then that’s what we will order.” You said, “Do you guys want any breadsticks or anything to go with it?”

“Yes please.” they replied.

“Coming right up!” You replied, smiling at them.  You knew this was hard on them and they were trying to be brave. “I have it on good authority that I can get milkshakes delivered later if you’d like.”

“Yes!” They replied, offering the first real smiles you’d seen from them in days.

“Ok, I will work my magic.” You said.

You headed to the kitchen to find the number for the pizza place they used often. Once the order was placed you set to work getting a salad ready to go with the pizza. Partly because it was something to keep you busy, but also to make sure dinner was somewhat balanced for the kids.

You were washing some vegetables to chop up when your aunt came into the kitchen. The look on her face told you everything you needed to know. Your uncle was gone.

Without a word you dropped the vegetables into the strainer, dried your hands on your pants and went straight to your aunt, pulling her tightly into a hug. Her whole body was wracked by silent sobs. You could feel her heart breaking. Your own breaking right along with hers. She hugged you back tightly before she stepped back, wiping tears from her eyes.

“I have to go tell the kids.” She whispered, “Oh God, how do I tell them?”

“I can come with you if you want.” You offered, “Or…tell me what you need me to do.”

“Can you call the hospice to let them know? There’s an emergency number. They said they’ll come when it is time.” She asked, “I think the kids will need time to say goodbye. I’m going to let them go up as needed.”

“I’ll call.” You promised, “I’ll call dad too.”

“Thank you” She replied, now on auto pilot. She headed into the living room by the kids.

You took a deep breath to keep yourself together then located the number for hospice on the fridge and dialed the number. After letting them know your uncle had passed, they promised they’d get someone out to the house immediately to start arrangements.

Without hesitation, you dialed your dad.

“Everything ok, Firecracker?” He asked, worried,  having just spoken to you a short time ago.

“Daddy” You sobbed, your ability to hold back your emotions gone at the sound of his voice. “He’s gone.”

“I’ll be right there, baby girl.” He replied, “I’m on my way right now.”

“Please hurry.” You said, for the first time in a very long time you needed your dad and only your dad.

He promised he’d get there as fast as he could and you hung up. Unsure what to do, you walked outside and sat once again on the front steps. You would be there to direct anyone that came first. The pizzas, the hospice workers, or your dad.

_________________________

Turns out your dad made it first. He pulled up the driveway, parked his bike quickly, immediately coming over to you. He pulled you up into his arms, holding you tightly, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other gently rubbing your back. You clung to him, allowing yourself  to break down and allowing him to be the strong one.

“I’ve got you,” he said, “Let it out.”

You stood, pressed to your dad, until you were able to catch your breath and reign in the tears. You heard car doors close and pulled back to see who had arrived. There was a car with the pizza company logo and another car with, who you assumed was hospice getting out. What you didn’t expect to see was a blue Bronco parked behind your dad’s bike with Bradley leaning against it looking helpless.

“He didn’t even hesitate to follow when I told him.” You dad said, picking up on your line of sight. “I was trying to talk to him when you called. He went from yelling at me to following me out when the call came.”

You kept your gaze on Bradley, convinced you’d look away and he’d be gone. He hesitantly started walking towards you.

“I’ll take care of the pizzas and let the hospice in.” Mav said, “I think you need him right now, Firecracker.”

Mav dropped a kiss on your head before jumping in to direct people, leading them into the house.

“Sun…” Bradley started, you didn’t let him finish, just walked straight into his arms, burying your face in his shirt, taking comfort in hearing his heartbeat. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close, swaying you gently. “I’ve got you, Sunshine.”

You were surprised you still had tears left to cry. Bradley stayed where he was, holding you tight, not letting go. Finally, the tears stopped flowing. You stepped back a little, noticing the wet spots on his flight suit. He hadn’t even taken time to change before coming over.

“I’m sorry.” You said, your hand trying in vain to wipe the tear stains.

“No apologizing, Sunshine.” Bradley said, “I won’t ask if you’re ok, because I know you’re not. What I need to know is how can I help? What do you need? Do you want me to call the others to come?”

“I just need my friend.” You said, “I don’t think I can do everyone around tonight. I’m too overwhelmed already.”

“I’ll call Jake to bring Shay.” Bradley offered, assuming you meant you needed her.

“Brad…” You said, interrupting his thoughts, “I meant you. I just need you.”

“You’ve got me, Sunshine.” He replied, putting his phone back in his pocket. “When was the last time you ate anything? Are you hungry?”

“I ate lunch so I’m not too hungry.” You answered, “Honestly, food doesn’t even sound good.”

“Ok, food can wait.” He said, taking your hand, he gently tugged you close again, his hands moving to cup your face, leaning down to kiss the top of your head, “Are you ready to go back inside, or do you want to stay outside?”

“I need to go in…try to help.” You answered, then remember the promise of milkshakes to your cousins. It seemed extra important to deliver on that now. “We may need to text Jake though, I promised the kids milkshakes tonight.”

“I can do that.” Bradley said, “Come on, let’s go inside, Sunshine.”

You let him lead you inside. In the kitchen, Mav was getting plates and slices of pizza handed out to the kids. Your aunt must be upstairs with hospice getting everything situated.

You grabbed drinks from the fridge and handed them to the kids, offering drinks to Mav and Bradley as well.

With the kids settled at the Kitchen island eating, or attempting to eat, their appetites weren’t very strong anymore, Mave pulled you and Bradley aside.

“I think we should get the kids out of here when they’re ready to move Tom.” Mav whispered, “They don’t need to be here for that.”

“We can take them to get ice cream or for a drive.” Bradley said, “Meet up with Hangman and Shay to keep them occupied for a bit. Maybe take their minds off things.”

“That’s a good idea.” Mav agreed, “I’ll stay with Sarah so she’s not alone and help her. Penny said she was getting someone to cover the bar and she’d be over too.”

“Let’s let them finish eating and I’ll go see if Sarah wants them to have a chance to say final goodbyes.” You suggested.

“Sounds good, we have a plan.” Bradley said. He’d remained close to you since coming inside, almost afraid to let you out of his sight. You assumed it was partly so he wouldn’t have to be alone with or talk to your dad.

“Thank you, Bradley,” Mav said, looking sincerely, “for being here and helping out.”

“I’m here for Y/N.” He said, borderline glaring at Mav,  “And for Sarah and the kids.” Ok, so you’d have to work on the two of them being in the same room civilly.

���Brad, why don’t you text Jake and Shay while I talk to Aunt Sarah and we can come up with a plan for meeting somewhere with the kids.” You said, trying to diffuse the tension.

He reluctantly stepped away, pulling his phone out and opted to call Jake over texting. You gave your dad a reassuring smile,  then headed upstairs to your aunt.

The rest of the night, you kept the kids busy with Bradley, meeting Jake and Shay at a diner to get milkshakes. After, you had asked the kids if they wanted to go home or go for a drive; they’d opted for a drive until they were finally ready to go home. You understood, it was hard to be home knowing one of your parents was never going to be there again.

Once the kids were settled in at home, you ended up on the back patio once more with Jake and Shay, this time adding Bradley as well.

“Thank you.” You said after a bit, “I would be lost without you guys.”

“Sweets, there is no reason to thank us.” Jake spoke up first.

“Absolutely not. There’s nowhere else we’d be when you need us.” Shay said, “You would do the same if the tables were turned.”

“From personal experience, you were there for all the good and bad times.” Bradley said, quietly, “Until I didn’t let you. I know it’s not the time, but I am so sorry for shutting you out, Sunshine. Please let me be here for you now.”

Unable to get words past the lump in your throat, you opted to reach over and slip your hand into his own, squeezing gently, trying to offer some sort of smile instead. Understanding what was left unsaid, he squeezed your hand back.

A/N: Bradley is starting to redeem himself! These two have a ways to go though but communication is slowly opening! Also... I broke my own heart with Iceman dying. It definitely opened up some emotions from when my own dad died on cancer, but was oddly healing as well! I really hope you are enjoying this story as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Taglist:  @gracespicybradshaw​ @memoriesat30​, @khaylin27​, @snekssss, @shanimallina87​ @atarmychick007​  @jstarr86​  @atarmychick007​ @marantha​  @taytaylala12​

[copterbotblades]

  independent roleplay/ask blog for Blades of Transformers: Rescue Bots ✨️🚁  single muse*, multiverse & multiship, semi-selective, sfw, low/sporadic activity    anon asks & M!As welcome

  *(secondary muse Dani Burns may also appear)

written by Firefly, she/her (character bio & notes below)

note: I edit this post a lot. like multiple times a week if i'm feeling active. everything on here is subject to change

-🚁- Rules

 no internet discourse! i simply do not care :)

 no nsfw - I don't judge, but I am personally extremely uncomfortable with it, especially in a Transformers context. also note that I probably won't follow blogs that do explicit roleplays or writings on main-- again, nothing against you or the content, I just don't want to see it.

 please message me if you want to plan or chat about anything!

-🚁- Backstory

   During the latter years of the Autobot-Decepticon war, a rescue team of four young adult Cybertronians were discovered by Optimus Prime after being in stasis for several millennia. At this point, Rescue Bots were thought to be extinct. The bots were brought to Earth and paired with a family of human rescue workers to protect the residents of a semi-isolated high-tech island called Griffin Rock, where they regularly prevent disaster from occurring.    Blades, the team's medic and only flier, is very anxious and easily frightened. Despite his protests due to his fear of heights, he had to scan a helicopter altmode after reaching Earth. His human partner is Dani Burns, an EMT and rescuer in her early 20s. While the pair had a difficult beginning with many disagreements, they eventually realized how much they had in common. The two are now inseparable friends both in rescue work and at home, watching TV and making interesting attempts at baking.

-🚁- FAQs

 Time frame - Unless stated otherwise, events take place between the S1 finale and S3 finale-- essentially meaning that Doc Greene and Frankie are aware of the bots' sentience, but the rest of the island residents are not.

 Will RP with - Transformers, some OCs, and maybe characters from other fandoms. (please DM first!)

 Genres - Any. Fluff, hurt/comfort, angst, crack, whatever. Violence and injury is ok, gore is not.

 Ships - My ships with Blades are almost always Bumblebee or Heatwave, but I'm open to others! Shipping isn't really a priority for me though.

 Anonymous asks - yes! I can't promise to answer every ask, but know that all are appreciated :]

 Magic Anons - yes, always!

 also, "low/sporadic activity" means that sometimes I'll be really active one week and then completely disappear the next. i promise i haven't forgotten, i'm just busy and/or have writer's block </3

Formatting - IC writing is in plain text, speaking lines are in quotes "", thoughts are in italics. If Blades is speaking over commlinks, text will be .:like this:. . OOC posts and tags are in brackets [ ]. I can't/won't write with asterisks.

-🚁- Character notes & headcanons:

  Both Blades and Dani are pansexual.

  Blades has bright orange/yellow optics. (Yes, I know they're green in RBA. I like orange better.)

  Dani has dark brown eyes.

  The concept of gender doesn't really exist on Cybertron, but on Earth Blades sort of defaulted to he/him.

  Blades used to have a Cybertronian ground altmode similar to an Earth sports car. He sometimes misses racing with the other Rescue Bots and his friends back on Cybertron.

  He's learned to deal with his fear of heights and become a skilled flier, but is still vulnerable to panic in the air, especially under stressful circumstances (e.g. weather).

  His helicopter rotors are extremely sensitive, and fragile. If they are broken or bent, he can't fly until they are repaired and healed.

  Blades is the team's medic. However, he is somewhat inexperienced and obviously nowhere near the skill level of those like Ratchet. (Also, he knows next to nothing about human anatomy and health. That's Dani's job.)

originally est. 2022 / new blog est. 2024

[bitchinbarzal]

https://www.tumblr.com/bitchinbarzal/720507039357566976/do-you-want-me-to-stay-with-brazy-please

hi can we get a part two please. I’m in need of some angst in my life hehe

The following morning, your phone has multiple notifications from Mat.

A multitude of text messages apologizing for his girlfriend and thanking you for coming last night.

You ignored them, chosing to get on with your day.

Around lunch your concierge called up to your apartment

“Mrs Barzal, Mr Barzal is here to see you”

You frowned “Mr Barzal? You’re sure? Like my Husband? Mathew?”

He laughs “Yes, M’am it’s Mat”

You shrug “Ok send him up”

You’re waiting with the door open for him when he steps out the elevator with a confused look on your face

He’s smiling shyly, holding coffee and flowers for you

“Mathew”

He steps in past you and nods “I thought I’d return the favour”

“I didn’t ask you to buy me coffee” you deadpan and he rolls his eyes “No but a husband buys his wife nice things”

“Would You quit it with that? Why are you here Mat?”

He sighs, taking a seat at your breakfast bar “I guess I just, I hated how you left last night that wasn’t respectful at all and you came out of your way for me”

You shrug “It is what it is, just get the contact changed. Okay?”

Mathew chews on his bottom lip “Well… who would I change it to?”

You scowl, the ice in your latte shaking in the cup as you halt “Your girlfriend? You know chirpy?”

He laughs lowly “I broke up with her”

Your hand goes over your heart in faux sadness “I’m so sorry for your loss”

Mat punches your arm playfully “Oh shut up you didn’t like her”

“No, I absolutely didn’t” you deadpan and he bursts out laughing “But she’s your girlfriend not mine”

The two of you sit and chat a while longer, you finish your coffee and Mat finds a vase for your flowers.

“Thanks for coming today, Barz” you mumble, clinging onto his arm and kissing his shoulder “I really am sorry about your breakup I know it can’t be easy going through our divorce too regardless of how peaceful”

Mat smiles softly and kisses the crown of your head “My wonderful, thoughtful wife”

“I try” You gloat jokingly.

“I miss you, y/n”

You groan lowly “Mathew….”

“You showed up when I needed you”

“I’m your emergency contact!”

He shakes his head “Do you not love me? We broke up because of busy schedules not because we fell out of love!”

You look at him, blinking slowly “Mat… we’re three months out from getting divorced”

“You still call yourself y/n Barzal…. I know you still love me like I love you”

You shake your head softly “Mat you need to leave now, please”

He mumbles out explanations, complaints before you whisper “please, mat”

He finally gives in, grabbing his jacket and walking to the door but not before you call out

“Hey Mat?”

“Yeah?”

“Change your emergency contact, yeah?”

He deflates “Yeah… I’ll get that changed”

[zbeez-outlet]

Just Call Me Blue

Levi x FemReader

Modern AU

Reader has Tattoos and Blue Hair

NSFW 18+ Only

Word Count: ~12k words because I can't help myself apparently

Concept: A rare night out proves to be way more interesting than the book he'd been planning to finish on his nightstand

Summary: Clubbing isn’t really his thing, but every once in a blue moon Levi lets his friends dress him up and drag him to a bar to loosen up a little, at least as much as he can. Maybe a few drinks here and there, some mindless conversation before settling the night with a shower and a warm cup of tea – at least that’s what he planned until the moment he sees flashing blue hair and a garden blooming on smooth skin. Colorful. Beautiful. Soft. Everything he’s not, but he’s suddenly curious to follow the paths of petals and leaves, to see if he can name every flower.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, Levi POV, introvert/shy reader, cursing, smut, oral (f. receiving), praise, a lot of teasing, mutual masturbation, switch Levi/reader, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, drinking (not drunk, sober consent), going home with a stranger/one-night-stand (be safe, make good choices, share your location!) (If I missed anything, please let me know!)

A/N: My first smut fic with an idea I've had for a while now! My requests are open, check out submission guidelines for more info on what kind of requests I take. This is a safe space! If you want to discuss a request, have questions, or just want to chat, my asks and messages are always open. As always, thank you to all of my readers and followers! I love hearing from you and seeing everyone interacting with my work :)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT BELOW 18+ CONTENT

The whiskey is smooth and a little woody on his tongue, pleasantly chilled from the ice and about ninety percent of the reason he agreed to come out tonight.

Erwin bribed him with top shelf liquor and the promise of keeping Hange distracted in exchange for an hour of social interaction amid their friends and some too loud music. With nothing but a book waiting for him on his end table, Levi figured it wouldn't be too painful to humor his long-time friend. The way his shoes slide across spilled drinks and the sticky counters have him immediately regretting saying yes. A heavy hand on his shoulder is the only thing keeping him from leaving immediately.

"C'mon Levi, you gave me your word. One hour," Erwin reminds him, shouting in his ear over the clashing music and mingling voices, as if Levi forgot their deal. Didn't forget, just seriously considering rescinding his commitment.

Instead, he offers a disgusted snarl and shrugs the massive hand from his arm. "As long as you keep your end. Top shelf, open tab."

Erwin rolls his eyes, impressively enunciated by his bushy arched brows. "Of course," he says agreeably as if the request isn't entirely outrageous. "Who knows, maybe you'll meet someone tonight. Actually socialize for once."

Levi contemplates ordering an entire bottle just to spite the man.

While he may have promised to stick around for an hour, he made no such promise about indulging their mundane conversation topics or, heaven forbid, getting trapped between sweaty hormonal bodies on the dance floor. Levi keeps to the edge of the club, daring to lean against a wall that he hopes is cleaner than the tables and seats — just to be safe, he discretely wipes the surface as a last-ditch effort to protect his gray turtleneck from any possible stains.

He tries not to wince at the way the music pulses in his chest and behind his eyes as he scans the crowd. His friends have all scattered among the writhing bodies. Mike and Nanaba found a not to private corner to grind on each other, a sight that has Levi's lip curling in distaste. Everyone seems playfully drunk, not yet sloppy but loose and confident enough to not care how they dance or scream along to the music. Erwin is being crowded by a handful of bright-eyed and airily tipsy young women with flushed cheeks and wondering hands. The arch of his brow and easy smile says he doesn't mind the attention. Though clearly not all of them are interested, Levi realizes when he spots a flash of blue lingering on the outskirts of the little gathered group.

You're standing off to the side with a small furrow to your brow, hair slightly curled and brushing along the tops of your shoulders and the blue that caught his attention a moment ago. It's a soft unnatural shade, sugary like a blue raspberry slushy. You don't look particularly happy by your friends being so easily distracted by Erwin, though not mad or annoyed either. Just...awkward, like you don't know how to stand in a way that looks casual instead of uncomfortable. In one hand is a drink that you've barely touched, something dark and probably bitter if he had to guess. Your other arm is crossed protectively over your middle like you don't want to risk bumping into anyone.

He knows the feeling.

You're wearing a white sundress, which normally he wouldn't expect to be appropriate clubbing ware, but the light fabric drapes nicely over your figure, cinched at the flattering curve of your waist and flaring out over your thighs. The dress is a nice contrast to the rest of your look. He can't pick out all of the little details from this distance, but your arms, legs, and neck are covered in colors and intricate lines.

Now, Levi doesn't have any tattoos. He's never been particularly fond of the idea of permanently marking his body like that, but he could appreciate the artistry behind it.

A moment later, Levi's shaken from whatever daze had him trapped on the bright colors decorating your skin and the well-loved high-tops on your feet. It's Hange, of course, dancing manically as they drag Moblit behind them, arms waving and hips rocking with alcohol and bad rhythm. Moblit is amusingly exasperated with his partner, an indulgent smile pulling at his cheeks that quickly turns to panic when Hange's boisterous moves lead them directly into your unassuming form. Levi barely refrains from flinching when your drink topples from your grasp, spilling down the flowing skirt of your dress and dripping down your left leg. The glass doesn't shatter, which is a small mercy.

Levi has already made his way to the bar, trading his whiskey glass for a couple of clean rags, some club soda, and a cup of water before making his way over to Moblit's flustered apologies as he tries to dab your dress with soiled napkins and your gentle reassurances that it's not a big deal. Which Levi would agree that it's not a big deal if your drink hadn't been dark and your dress white.

He silently offers one of the rags soaked in the club soda, only speaking when you seem confused. "For the stain, so it doesn't set in right away." He has to lean in to be heard over the pounding pop song the DJ thought would be a good idea. The flowers blooming along your skin are far clearer at this proximately, intimately designed across the curves of your skin and bright with color. Part of him wants to trace the petals, count the leaves and name every flower that reminds him of his mother's love for the plants growing up. Most of him realizes those thoughts are creepy, especially without even knowing your name, so he pulls back entirely.

Your timidly sweet smile is enough to sway any discomfort he may have felt initially at being so close. Levi tries not to linger on the feeling of your fingers brushing his when you accept the cloth.

And then Hange is draping themself over his shoulders, smelling like Redbull and vodka, making his nose scrunch. "That's our Levi, ready and waiting to fix every mess." They pinch his cheek, risking their fingers getting caught between his teeth. "Our little clean freak."

Levi covers the flush that threatens to warm his neck by pushing Hange off of him and towards the still frazzled Moblit.

"Well, I'm grateful for the help. This is one of my favorite dresses." Your voice is only just loud enough to be heard over all the other noise. "I'm gonna head up to the bar, let them know there was a spill." You make a special point to look him the eye when you accept the glass of water he's holding out to get rid of the stickiness on your leg. "Thank you, Levi."

He likes the way you say his name, wondering a moment later what yours is.

Levi watches you thread through the crowd, dodging elbows and skipping over tripping hazards with the expertise of a well-practiced introvert. It makes him ponder what brought you here, a crowded and decidedly not introvert-friendly space. He's reminded of his and Erwin's deal, wondering if you had made a similar agreement with the friends who haven't even noticed your accident or your absence, giggling and twirling their hair between sips of lemon drops and flirty banter.

"You should go talk to her," a voice attacks his eardrum, and once again he's batting Hange's breath from his face. "C'mon, Levi, live a little! You're clearly interested!"

He frowns at the idea of being 'clearly' anything, but resolves that talking to you would be a far better way to spend the rest of his hour here than babysitting his friends or staring passively at the crowd.

When he gets back to the front, you're wiping down your left leg while idly chatting with the bartender. His eyes catch on the detailed combination of yellow sunflowers and red snapdragons intertwining from your ankle and disappearing up under the hem of your sundress. The lines are dark and the colors bright, glistening as you drag the wet rag along your skin, shadows and highlights done so professionally that for a moment he thinks he could pluck a bouquet from your skin and offer it in greeting. There are different flowers along the rest of your visible skin, intentional combinations of colors and only a handful of species he can name. He wonders what they mean beyond their vibrancy and pretty shapes, why you chose them to grace your skin forever. He wonders if your skin is really as soft as a flower petal.

Levi shakes himself from those thoughts by the time he takes the empty stool beside you, looking first to the bar tender. "Whiskey on the rocks," Levi orders, nodding when the man holds up the same brand he picked before, then he looks to you. "What are you drinking?"

You blush prettily under his gaze in what he thinks might be embarrassment or maybe just shyness. "You don't have to–"

"Think of it as repayment," he interrupts, trying to offer what he hopes is a calming twitch of his lips and not a grimace, "for the one my friend spilled all over you."

"Um, sure, that would be nice." You give out smiles easily, eyes shining in a way that has nothing to do with alcohol. Levi likes the way it teasingly flashes your teeth and dimples your cheek.

"So what'll it be?"

You pause, anxiously chewing on your lip. Levi tries not to stare. "Well, I don't go out like this often, so I had my friend choose for me. A Long Island I think, but...not really my taste. Too strong." You wince like it's a crime not to like a drink.

It sounds like your friend just wanted to get you drunk, regardless of your tastes.

"How about something sweeter?" He offers, already running through a list of the drinks he knows Hange likes when they're in an especially festive mood. When the bar tender places his whiskey down in front of him, Levi taps the counter. "You have stuff for a Melon Ball?" When he nods, Levi orders one for you and adds it to his tab. Well, Erwin's tab.

"What's in a Melon Ball?"

"Sweet Midori, which is like a concentrated melon juice infused with liquor, some orange juice, and only about a shot of vodka. Very sweet, not super strong. I think you'll like it."

You gift him another smile and he wonders if he should start counting how many he can pull from you tonight. "I look forward to trying it then, Levi."

While waiting for your drink, Levi wonders how he can keep the conversation going. Not that the silence is bad, it's actually strangely comfortable, but he also finds he likes the sound of your voice. "You mentioned you don't go out often," he starts in what he hopes is a casual tone. "This a special occasion or just peer pressure?"

"A little of both, if I'm honest." You stop there, fiddling with your fingers in a way that shows you're a little anxious, out of your element. But you're still smiling, the curve of your lips genuine enough that he's sure it's not out of curtesy.

He tries something that he hopes is a little less invasive. "What should I call you?"

"Call me?"

"You know my name's Levi, obviously. What about you?" Levi sips at his whiskey, eyeing the way your blue hair tickles your cheeks and hides your face just enough from him to be shy. "Doesn't even have to be your real name if you don't want. You could be anyone."

You hum, clearly thinking about the pros and cons of sharing your real name. He's curious, of course, but he's not about to force anything out of you. "You can call me..."

"What about Blue?" Levi dares to reach out, twirling some of your hair on his finger. It's softer than he thought chemically colored hair would be. Like silk ribbons. He drops the strip before he accidently gives into the urge to run his fingers through the rest of your hair, surely a step too far at this stage, though he can't quite hide his smirk at the pink spreading across your cheeks.

"Um, yeah...yeah, that's fun. Blue," you repeat as if to taste the name on your tongue. "Just call me Blue."

When the bar tender sets the Melon Ball on the counter in front of you, he offers you both a sly grin before moving onto the next drunk guy slurring for another round of shots for him and his friends. The drink is an electric green color and smells like sugar, promising to stain tongues. Levi watches with an encouraging lift of his brow as you hold the glass and take a generous swallow, cartoonishly giving the drink an honest try.

Your lips pucker and you giggle, tongue darting out to lick an excess drop at the corner of your mouth that he suddenly wants to taste, knowing it'd be sugary with syrup. "Wow, that's delicious." He pretends not to notice your little satisfied sigh.

"Better than the Long Island?"

"Dangerously better."

He muffles a huff of amusement behind the rim of his glass, taking another slow woody sip of his whiskey. "So, Blue," you playfully scoff at his emphasis on the new name, "what are we celebrating?"

"Hmm?" You hum around another sip, tilting your head curiously.

"The special occasion?"

"Oh! Right, um, just a promotion at work." You wave off the accomplishment, tracing the rim of your glass with a delicate finger. "I think they all just wanted an excuse to get wasted, so I promised them one drink. Now here I am."

You raise your glass, smile brightening when he clinks his whiskey to your melon ball in a little toast. "Here you are," he repeats lowly, almost as if he hadn't meant to say it. "I made a deal too. One hour to get them off my back." Levi points over his shoulder, rolling his eyes at how easy it is to spot his friends, towering and drunk and verging on sloppy.

"They seem...fun," you offer kindly, barely holding back a chuckle at the way Hange commands the dance floor.

"That's a very nice way of saying they need to be institutionalized." When you laugh this time, it's with your whole body. Head thrown back, shoulders shaking, teeth shining. Levi wishes he could sneak a picture, but the moment's passed before he could even finish the thought.

"At least they keep life interesting!"

"There is that," Levi hums, lips pursing because you're not wrong. Dullness is certainly rare, especially where Hange and their antics are concerned.

You turn more completely towards him, bare knee brushing against his dark slacks. Your legs are crossed daintily, orange and red on the left contrasting beautifully with the violet and blue petals clustered among green leaves on your right leg. Hydrangeas and lavender he thinks, with a smattering of white baby's breath. Some of his mother's favorites. A rainbow of different kinds of flowers bloom from your wrists to over your shoulders, though they fade into grayscale roses from your collar and up the slope of your neck.

"An hour, huh? I could spread one drink over an hour," you mutter shyly, an almost coy smile pulling at your syrupy slick lips. Levi unconsciously licks his own, craving something sweet.

Levi dares to shift a little closer, the warmth of your legs bleeding into his own, and he leans forward so he doesn't have to compete so much with the crowds and the music. The way you mimic him, resting your chin on your palm and bending closer as if to share a secret, shows him that he hasn't overstepped any boundaries. "We have a promotion to celebrate, after all. What do you–"

"Oh oh oh, wait! I want you to guess!" You bounce in your seat, biting your lip to contain an excited smile.

He raises a brow. "Guess?"

"You were going to ask what I do, right? We can be anyone, just like you said." Your eyes shine, and Levi is having trouble looking away. "You make up Blue, and I'll make up a whole new Levi!"

It's a silly, juvenile little game, but he can't find a reason to brush it off or tell you no. Not with your dimpled cheek that he wants to kiss or the anxious twist of your hands. "I'll start," he decides, tapping his glass.

You nod, sitting up straight in your seat to pose. Shoulders back, chin up, grinning as you overplay the part and wait for his assessment. Levi looks you up and down, less so because of any possible clues about your job than because he wants to follow the paths of vines and leaves and petals along your skin. The easy answer is tattoo artist, but that feels too simple, too expected.

"You're a cook in a fancy French kitchen, recently promoted to Sous Chef," he eventually announces, a proud smirk curving his cheek at the surprised laugh that bubbles from your chest. "Was I close?"

"Doesn't matter, tonight I'm Blue," you raise your glass in another toast, smile wide, "and Blue is a sous chef, apparently." You take a sip and he spots the green tinting your tongue. "Alright, alright, my turn!"

He strikes a similar pose, sitting strong in his chair. He shivers at the way your eyes drag across his form, wondering if you felt the same heat, the same intensity under his gaze as he does under yours. You seem the slightest bit flustered, shy and teasing at the same time. "Thoughts?"

"A hand model."

Levi pauses, not expecting such a specific response. He'd been prepared for something a little more mundane, like an accountant or something as equally boring. "A hand model? What makes you say that?"

And then you're touching him, reaching for his wrist and running your thumbs along his palm. "You have beautiful hands," you say softly, he wouldn't have heard you if he hadn't been so close, so hung up on your every word. "An artist's hands. Slender, elegant. I can imagine you doing ads for watches or rings."

His skin feels electric under the pressure of your fingers, quick to hold your hand in a gentle grasp when you go to pull away. You see beauty in his hands, he's not ready to let that go just yet. "I like it."

Your cheeks dimple prettily and he's once against struck with the urge to press his lips there, to feel the dip and the softness of your skin. You don't pull back or ask him to let go, which he would in a heartbeat if you did, instead your palm settles nicely against his own, warm and welcoming and his just for this moment.

You hum, a low melodic sound that Levi feels in his own chest, and you tap his shin with your worn converse to break the distracted lull you've both fallen into. "So, where does Blue live?"

That's how the two of you spend the hour, coming up with little details for your made up selves. Heads bent conspiratorially close, trading small laughs and outrageous whispers. You never let go of his hand, even when he squeezes every now and then. Tracing your knuckles and the inked petals on your wrist. Dahlias and carnations and lilies of all colors. You just smile and blush and come up with some new hobby for this alternate version of himself.

According to him, Blue lives in a small cottage in a village just outside of the city. She enjoys commuting to work by train, listening to classical music while she sketches everything from other people on the train to the passing scenery to little nonsensical doodles. She has a vegetable garden that she cares for religiously, most proud of her tomatoes and peppers. And a cat named Sprite that curls up on her shoulders and keeps the mice from her produce.

You ooh and ahh at his construction of your character for the night, not giving away how close he may be to the truth but clearly enjoying the spin of his words.

According to you, Levi lives in one of those big and fancy two-story apartments in the heart of the city. Sleek, modern styles that are easy to keep clean and organized — clearly you took note of Hange's comment about him being a 'clean freak.' But you take it in stride, not turned off by the quality but rather spinning it into a trait to be proud of. He scoffs when you declare he drives a motorcycle, swallowing any confessions with a gulp of whiskey. You confidently say he has a secret love for romance novels that he buries under annotated copies of notable classics and heavy mystery books. And you're convinced he can play the piano, twiddling with his fingers when you say it.

It's all sweet words and lingering stares between the two of you. Levi can't help but watch as you get closer and closer to finishing your drink, an anxious disappointment settling deep in his gut that your time together is almost up. He wonders if you'd let him kiss you before disappearing into the crowd and back to your life away from the little fantasies you've built between intertwined hands.

"Looks like that's your one drink," he says when you finish the last few drops of melon liquor, trying not to sound as disheartened as he feels. "And it's the end of my hour."

You pout, bottom lip jutting out that he wants to suck between his teeth. "I guess you're right," you sigh, leaning into his palm when he risks tucking a wayward strand of bright blue behind your ear. "I should probably wrangle the others anyway."

"Or..." he says before he can stop himself, biting down on the sudden desperation between his teeth, "just let them have their fun for the night."

"And what about me?" There's an expectancy in your voice, like you know what he's implying but you're afraid to assume anything.

"Well, and feel free to tell me to fuck off if this is too forward, but we could leave...together?" The request comes out hesitant, unsure in a way he's not used to feeling, and Levi barely holds back a wince.

"Together...where?"

"I, um, I live near here. We could walk..." Levi stops, rolling his eyes at himself and pulling away to put some space between the two of you. "And now I'm hearing how creepy and murdery that sounds."

"No no no," you ramble, reaching again for his arm with an amused teeth-shining smile. He leans into your hold. "I mean, maybe a little, but it's kind of hard not to sound that way these days with all of the horror stories we hear about. Everything is a red flag, even kindness. Especially kindness. But, I like you…kind of a lot, and I don’t want to stop being with you tonight, not yet.”

“Yeah?”

"Yeah." Your eyes drop to his lips and flicker back up to his gaze, his heart fluttering at the quick movement. "I'm choosing to trust you, so don't murder me okay? Let me just tell my friends I'm going so they don't freak out."

He nods, watching you track down one of your friends with an extra little skip in your step. It makes the skirt of your dress ruffle around your thighs and he decides staring isn't the worse crime he's ever committed. Your friends all squeal obnoxiously, hugging you and kissing your cheeks, peaking over at him in very not subtle ways. Levi waves with the softest scowl he has, lip curling when they squeal again. You pull a phone from a hidden pocket in your skirt that he hadn't even noticed, exchanging a few more words and motioning to the screen — he assumes you're sharing your location with them just in case, which is a precaution he respects. He offers a gentle smile as you make your way back towards him, holding out his hand with a small hope to lace your fingers together.

You do.

Levi quickly grabs his jacket from the small coat check at the entrance of the bar, immediately draping it around your shoulders when he realizes you didn't bring a coat. His place is only a few blocks away, but it's night and cold and maybe it's also an excuse to be close to you. He looks above your head as he helps you adjust the sleeves, making eye contact with a grinning Erwin and a bouncing Hange, rolling his eyes and flipping them off as a goodbye.

He should prepare for an interrogation in the morning.

You grab his hand again, threading your fingers through his and walking close enough that your shoulders brush with every step. Neither of you speak much during the walk, save the mumbled directions Levi lets out every now and then. Partly due to a shared nervous feeling, an almost thrilling anticipation for where the night could lead. And partly because the silence is as comfortable as the conversation had been, soft and mutual like you've known each other for years instead of an hour.

It takes about twenty minutes to get to his building, enough time that any lasting effects of the alcohol fade in the chill and the movement. The walk is nice, a handful of cross streets with very little traffic and lanterns lighting the paths. You're humming some little tune under your breath that he likes the sound of.

He leads you up the initial stairs into the lobby of his building, a modest brick structure with only a handful of tenants. The units are spacious and reasonably priced, and he's fond of the quietness in the neighborhood. Every now and then he looks towards you to see if you've changed your mind, if you seem scared or hesitant or uncomfortable, and every time you gift him another one of your soft smiles and squeeze his hand.

In the elevator, you stand close enough that Levi wonders if you can feel the beat of his heart. Racing in his chest, just behind his ribs. He really hopes his hand isn't sweaty. You're warm and soft at his side, and part of Levi is desperate to touch you, to learn the petals traced into your skin, to know you beyond the fun little stories you made up together.

"This is me," he almost whispers, stopping in front of his door. Levi's a bit hesitant to go inside, wondering for a brief moment if the Levi you created back at the bar is more impressive than his modest living. If he'll disappoint you before even crossing the threshold.

"Levi," you call, and he decides this is the moment you change your mind. You'll offer a placative smile, say some nice words, and disappear entirely from his life. He braces himself. "I just want to...know your expectations before we go inside."

"Nothing," he says immediately. Hopes? Maybe. Wants? Absolutely. But he could never expect you to do anything you don't want to do.

"You sure?"

"Of course." Levi pauses, swallowing the eagerness building in his throat when he catches you staring at his lips again. "Do you...expect anything?"

"No!" It's a little too quick, a little too loud, and you grimace. "I mean, not really. Obviously, you shouldn't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to," you ramble, playing with his fingers that are still in your hold. He can't help the slightest amused tilt to his lips that you're still staring at. "It's just - well, I could have just asked for your number if...if all I wanted to do was talk."

Levi's tongue darts out, licking his bottom lip, eyes locked on the soft curve of your cheek that he's wanted to kiss since your first smile of the night. He leans forward, breath shallow as it ghosts along your skin, lips skimming the soft surface like silk. He revels in the stuttered gasp you let out.

"Can I kiss you?" He purrs in your ear, delighting in the little whimper you can't hold back. Levi draws back, bravely bumping his nose against yours and meeting your shining eyes.

You take a deep shaky breath. "Yes."

So he does. And suddenly he never wants to stop.

Your lips are soft, so so soft. He knew they would be, plush and malleable beneath his own. As welcoming and warm as your smiles. Levi starts slow, savoring the sweet sugary taste of the lingering melon liquor, suckling your bottom lip with gentle pressure. He raises his free hand not still laced with yours, trailing his fingertips along the curve of your jaw until he can cup the base of your head and hold you steady against the brush of his lips. You moan beneath his touch, wrapping an arm around his waist until you're pressed together from hip to forehead.

Levi's momentarily startled when he feels your lips part first, tongue darting out to lick along the seem of his lips. He opens up to you, tongue eagerly chasing the sweet craving he's had since that first sip of the electric green drink. Your tongues dance, caressing each other with exploratory strokes, fighting for dominance for only a moment before Levi pushes into your mouth. He traces along your teeth and the roof of your mouth, tangling with your tongue in a way that leaves him tingling all over. Wanting more. Wanting whatever you're willing to give him.

And then he remembers you're still in the hallway, free for anyone to stumble upon. He pulls back reluctantly, pecking your lips again and again as you stifle desperate little whimpers against his skin. Your breaths mix, noses tapping. He keeps his forehead pressed to yours when he speaks.

"You are just...so beautiful." His words are airy, rising and falling with the deep weight of his chest and his want. He tucks another wayward blue strand behind your ear. "Do you want to go inside, Blue?"

You peck his lips again and this time he feels your smile more than he sees it. "Yes please," you whisper against him.

His key embarrassingly slips twice before he manages to unlock the door, a needy anticipation simmering under his skin and prickling with every touch of your fingers despite the thick layer of his turtleneck in the way. He wants it off to directly feel the press of your fingers and your lips and your warmth, but he wants your dress off more if you'll let him.

When he finally gets the door open in the wake of your giggles and his mumbled curses, you both stumble inside with all of the elegance of two tipsy teenagers despite the little amount of alcohol you actually had.

He drops the coat from your shoulders first, hanging it on the hook by your head when he gets caught in your eyes. Pupils blown wide, lips kiss swollen. The air feels thick between you, a heat he doesn't think he's ever felt before, let alone this fast. He wants to chase it to the ends of the Earth.

Levi skims his fingertips across the roses blooming along your collar and the rest of the garden growing from your shoulders all the way down to your wrists. He can name a couple more to add to the collection, orchids and what he thinks are bluebells along the curves of your muscles. The neckline of your dress is low, sewn with intricate lace patterns and held up with flimsy thin straps. He presses kisses over your bare shoulder and up the column of your throat, licking at your pulse fluttering under the petals on your skin. You gasp and sigh, tilting back to give him more access and gripping at his forearms with a longing he mirrors in his heady caresses.

It takes all of his strength to step back, to give up the taste of your skin for even a second. "Shoes off." The whisper is a shattering scream in the wake of your kisses and whimpers and subtle moans that leave him buzzing for more. Levi kneels down before you've even processed his words, slightly dazed from his attention, puffing his chest with pride. Starting with the left, he unlaces your shoe and delicately holds your ankle in his palm while he removes it to set by the door. He goes slower with the right, massaging the muscle of your calf and brazenly kissing the bundle of baby's breath at the inner curve of your knee.

"Levi..." Your voice fractures under his touches, eyes hooded as you look down at him. His name has never sounded so intoxicating. He wants to hear all the ways you could moan his name.

Levi stands quickly, hands grabbing for your waist when he goes for another deep kiss. Searching for your tongue and your taste and your smile.

"Blue..." he groans in a spare breath when your hands come up to wrap around his shoulders, fingers scratching the short hairs of his undercut. You do it again and he swallows the mortifying keen building in his throat. Levi nudges a knee between your legs, hands stroking your sides and itching to pull away your dress. "Bedroom?"

"Yeah, yes," you nod against his cheek, lips dancing across the sharp edge of his jaw. Levi lowers his hands, briefly skimming the flattering curve of your ass and splaying over the backs of your thighs. He lifts you easily, smirking at the squeak that leaves your throat when he encourages you to wrap your legs around his waist.

He kicks off his shoes before he forgets, walking you both passed the kitchen and living room towards his bedroom at the end of the hall. Taking advantage of your height over him, he latches back onto your throat to taste your pulse. He finds a sensitive spot just behind your ear, the only non-floral tattoo on the canvas of your skin. So far anyway. A tiny honeybee, all fuzzy and yellow and thriving amid the pollen of your tattoo collection. The sound you make when he grazes his teeth along the sensitive flesh behind your ear is his new favorite, a high whine that leaves you breathless and keening.

"More, please Levi," you moan into his ear. His pants twinge, stiffening with want and need for your sounds, your skin, your taste.

Levi traces the shell of your ear with his tongue. "I'll take care of you, Baby Blue." You shiver in his arms, legs quivering around his hips before he's even properly touched you. And, God, does he want to touch you.

He's grateful for the dimmer switch in his bedroom, keeping the lights low and warm. Enough to shine golden across your skin. Levi drops you onto the foot of his bed, chasing the feel of your giggles on his lips and pressing you into his soft downy comforter. Your hands are on his neck, scratching at the base of his scalp and pulling him closer. Lips languid and slick, tongues tasting each other. Levi's leaning over you, hands dancing from your arms and down your sides, squeezing at the gentle curves of your waist and tracing the sensitive flesh of your thighs still wrapped around his torso.

He rolls his hips into yours, swallowing your delicious moan with a matching groan of his own. Levi feels flushed all over, heartbeat thundering across every plain of his body.

You pull away from the kiss first, throwing your head back to catch your breath as he continues littering kisses along your collar, your throat, your jaw. He finds that spot behind your ear again, blowing cool air over the wet trail left behind from his tongue.

"Can I go down on you, Baby Blue?" Levi asks with a stuttered breath, squeezing your thighs and rolling his hips again.

"Can...what?" You stop, which makes him stop. He pulls back, meeting your wide startled eyes with a raised brow of his own

"Go down on you? You know, eat you out, oral sex, lick your–"

"I know what it is!" You laugh, playfully slapping his shoulder when his fingers tickle your sides to keep the sound going. He loves the way you laugh with your whole body, just like at the bar. Head thrown back, shoulders shaking with your mirth. Your hair halos around your head, a crown of soft woven sapphires that Levi wants to run through his fingers.

"So," he pecks your cheek, grinning salaciously against your skin, "can I?"

You bite your lip, that familiar shyness bleeding back into your face. "No one's ever...I've never – um..."

Levi offers the softest smile he can, caressing your heated cheek with his thumb. Hiding his frustration that no one's ever treated you well this way, hoping to be the first. "I won't if you don't want me to, but," he pauses, holding the weight of your gaze with his own, "I think it'll feel good. I want to make you feel good. Can I? Please?"

Your eyes glisten, pupils blown. He waits patiently, relaxing you with the gentle press of his fingers on your neck, your shoulders, your cheeks. You lean into his palm, kissing the pulse of his wrist. "Please, Levi," you sigh, the words puffing against his skin, "make me feel good."

"My pleasure." He grins, lowering those few inches to touch your lips together once again. This kiss is unhurried, almost lazy in the way your lips move together. Levi trails down your chin, your jaw, your throat. He licks across the lace of your dress's neckline, lingering on your heartbeat decorated with honeysuckles and daisies. His nose and his fingers trace the fabric of your dress as he lowers himself over the supple curve of your chest, hoping to spend more time there later, and down the soft slope of your stomach.

Levi drops to his knees, encouraging you to scoot to the edge of the bed. "We can stop at any time," he assures, meeting your eyes with purpose. "If it doesn't feel good or you're uncomfortable, just say the word. Okay?"

"Okay," you breathe, clearly hesitant. But there's a glint of excitement, of warm lust and want in your gaze that he knows is reflected in his own silver eyes.

He starts with his hands, rubbing deep circles into your ankles and your calves. "Just relax," Levi puffs against your skin, lips following the dips and shapes of the sunflower on the side of your left knee as he kneads the tense muscles in your legs. He switches sides, sucking at the petals of a blue hydrangea on your right leg, fingers moving up under the hem of your dress. He slowly raises your skirt, nudging your legs further apart to pepper your inner thighs with kitten licks and soft kisses that make you sigh beautifully.

You made a bold choice tonight with black panties under a white dress, a little bow delicately sewn into the lace border. His eye catches the slightly darker patch at the center of your underwear, hiding his smirk amid a cluster of red snapdragons. He sucks at their petals, darkening their color with his lips and his tongue. You sigh shakily above him, fingers curling into the duvet.

"Good so far?" He checks in, dancing his fingers across the lace edges of your panties.

You nod, choking on a breath when he runs his tongue along the seam of your thigh. "Yeah, Levi, so good."

"Keep telling me, okay Blue? How good my kisses feel." He presses his lips just above that little bow on your panties. "My hands." He kneads your inner thighs, spreading them just a bit wider and brushing the goosebumps on your skin. "My tongue." Levi flattens his tongue on that precious growing wet patch, moaning when your fingers tangle in his hair, your breathless keen music to his ears.

"Oh my god, Levi," you whimper as he slowly laps at your covered pussy, hips moving against his mouth. "Feels good, so so good."

He presses his palm on your abdomen, halting your little thrusts with a gentle pressure. His thumb dips under the top of your panties, rubbing at the sensitive skin there. "Can I take these off, Baby Blue?"

"Mhmm, please Levi," you whine, hips stuttering under his hand. "Wanna feel you, wanna feel good."

"I'll make you feel so good, pretty girl, I promise." Levi kisses your covered pussy one last time, fingers slipping under the elastic and pulling them down your legs. He tosses them somewhere to the side without much thought now that you're bare in front of him.

Levi hooks his arms under the bends of your knees, lifting them comfortably onto his shoulders so he can get closer without straining your hips. "Such a pretty pussy, baby girl," he breathes over your lower lips, diverting to kiss at the bare seam of your right thigh again, licking at a blossoming lavender flower.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, prettiest pussy I've ever seen," he promises into your skin. The sight of your folds, wet and puffy and waiting for him, has a lustful ache building between his own legs. "And you're all mine tonight, Baby Blue, all mine."

He focuses around your most sensitive part first, licking at your mound, kissing the outer lips of your pussy with a tenderness that leaves you wet and aching before him. Generously, Levi lays a teasing kiss on the hood of your clit, delighting in the sudden jerk of your hips and the high squeal you can't muffle with your lips.

You wine, desperately trying to wiggle your hips against the pressure of his hand and his lips. "Stop teasing, Levi..." you trail off in a sudden gasp when his tongue flattens against your pussy, licking from the base and flexing up to your bundle of nerves. Your hand flies to your mouth, muffling those beautiful sounds he wants to hear so much.

Levi stops, pulling back from your intoxicating taste. Sweet, a little salty, uniquely you. He almost laughs at your frustrated groan. "Let me hear all your pretty little sounds, Baby Blue. Helps me know what feels good."

Your hand drops back to the bed, fingers curling and lovely moans shaking your chest when his lips wrap around your clit. He sucks at your nerves, swirling the hardened tip of his tongue all over your bud. Your thighs quake around his head, trying to close from the pleasure but held apart by his shoulders while his palms keep your hips still. Levi lowers his mouth, lapping at your wetness, savoring your taste. He kisses your pussy like he kisses your mouth, languid and thorough and repeating the motions that have your legs spasming and your voice high. His tongue pistons into your wet velvety walls, starting slow until you're begging him to go faster, harder.

The slick between your thighs coats his lips, his chin. You're dripping with want and pleasure that he swallows like a man starved. When he licks back up to your clit, covering the sensitive bud of nerves with his lips, he moans. You shoot up, gasping at the vibrations of his voice on your clit, fingers carding through his hair and pulling. He groans at the sting, eyes rolling and tongue licking more fervently.

"Levi Levi Levi," you ramble, trembling under his fingers and his lips. He grips your thighs tighter. "So close, Levi, 'm so close...gonna cum, gonna–"

"Cum for me, Blue, wanna feel you cum on my tongue." Levi sucks firmly at your clit, head shaking back and forth in a way that has you wailing through your first orgasm of the night and your hips bucking repeatedly against his hold.

"Fuck fuck fuck, Levi so good, so – fuck!" You dissolve into unintelligible moans and murmurs and praises, legs shaking, fingers gripping at his scalp. He rides you through it, lapping at your folds and slurping up your slick, chasing the sound of those delicious moans like his life depends on it. As you rut against his mouth, Levi's right hand releases your quaking thigh and moves towards your entrance. He gathers your slick and easily slides his finger into the plush of your gummy walls. "Ah ah! Nnngh, Levi..."

He kisses your inner thighs, left hand massaging your lower abdomen to help you relax from his intrusion. "Gonna stretch you out all nice for me, pretty girl. Prep you for my cock, okay?" His finger thrusts into you slowly, getting you used to the feeling. Curling up with every push inward, probing your walls for that spongy spot he knows will make you see stars.

You whine, hips wiggling and breath shaking. "Nnngh want more Levi, so good...want, want–"

"What do you want, my Baby Blue? Tell me."

"Wanna cum, cum again, ah ah! Want...'nother finger, want your fingers Levi."

"Only good girls get another finger. You're so tight for me, Blue. So wet and perfect. You gonna be my good girl?"

"Yes!" You gasp, trying to push towards the second finger teasing at your entrance. "Yes Levi, 'm good – your good girl, your Baby Blue! Please, please—!"

Levi grins against your thigh, his own hips straining and bucking with want as he slips a second finger into your heat. Your juices have puddled in his palm, slicking his knuckles. "So so good for me, pretty girl," he moans, adding a third finger to stretch you nicely and picking up his pace when you keen, little mumbled praises slipping from your lips. He hooks his fingers, finally finding that special rough spot inside you that has you crying out in pleasure. "Right there, baby girl? That the spot?"

"Yes yes yes! Fuck right there, don't stop, don't stop, please don't stop, Levi—!"

His fingers curl and rub, focusing on that sensitive rough patch, and his lips latch back onto your clit. He sucks your bundle of nerves, tongue swirling the hardened bud as he fingers your wet pussy. The only sounds in the room are your broken moans of pleasure and the wet squelching of his fingers and tongue. Existing between your thighs is his new favorite place to be, soft and pliable and warm.

Levi hadn't planned for the night to go this way, hadn't planned to find someone beautiful and kind and funny. Someone that could have such a chokehold on his heart and his mind and his body in just an hour. Part of him is terrified for the night to end, for the sun to chase away the sultry shadows of this night, for you to tell him this one night between your thighs is all he'll get. He savors your taste, your sounds, the feel of you beneath his fingers like little treasures and smothers the hope of someday knowing your real name.

Being in the moment is far better than those confusing thoughts.

You fall over that precarious pleasurable edge when he moans around your clit and his fingers brush inside you just so. This one is clearly stronger than the first, and he watches in awe as your thighs shake and your hips convulse, head thrown back in ecstasy as you groan and whimper through your orgasm. His movements slow, now languid firm strokes to draw out the euphoria as long as he can. Flat lazy laps of his tongue and drawn out motions of his fingers as you gush from the intensity of it all.

It isn't until you're pushing at his head, hips jerking from the aftershocks, that Levi releases your pussy from his ministrations with a satisfying pop, giving your clit a last peck. A 'see you later' kind of kiss. His fingers slip easily from your walls and he licks the last of your slick from his lips and his fingertips, swiping the back of his hand across his chin.

Grinning salaciously as he watches you catch your breath, Levi rubs your still shaking thighs, leaning up to kiss from your jaw and up towards his favorite spot behind your ear. "How was that?" He breathes softly, ghosting the words across your forehead.

You laugh, pressing close, fingers laced together over the short hairs of his undercut. "That was perfect, absolutely perfect."

This time, you kiss him first. He knows you can taste yourself on his tongue, the air between you heady and thick with tension. Your hands wander down the back of his clothed neck, over his shoulders, and settle at his waist. You bunch the fabric of his sweater, tugging upwards with a new desperation in the wake of your orgasms.

He grins against your mouth, helping you untuck the fabric from his dark slacks. While he separates from the kiss long enough to pull off the sweater, your fingers are busy at his belt and the button of his pants. The turtleneck is cast aside, the belt following. Levi stands to step out of the slacks, now bare in front of you except for a modest pair of black boxer briefs.

Now, Levi's always been pretty proud of his body and for good reason. He works hard to take care of himself and it shows in the firm plains of his chest, the chisel of his abdomen, the strong muscles in his thighs and calves. He's lean but strong, skin unblemished besides a handful of scars life thought important to grant him. He has every reason to be proud of his body...

Yet, as you stare at him with dark eyes he cannot read, Levi swallows the sudden nervous energy building in his throat. Not to mention the way you linger a little too long on the obvious bulge in his briefs. He fights the urge to cross his arms or reach for a blanket. Instead, he forces a false confidence into the cadence of his voice.

"See something you like?" He hates the words as soon as they're out of his mouth, sounding arrogant and awkward and wrong. But you laugh, so he counts that as some kind of win.

You reach forward, still seated on the edge of the bed with your dress now resettled over your thighs, and rest your hands on his waist. Your thumbs rub tiny circles in the V of his hips. You stand, now chest to chest with him. His skin burns under your fingertips, ripples of goosebumps immediately alighting across his body as you dare to explore. Pressing delicate shapes into his abs, ticklishly skimming his sides, tracing letters he can't focus on into his pec just over the beat of his racing heart. Levi's eyes slip closed, just relishing in your touches.

"I think you're beautiful, Levi." He feels the words in your breath as it ghosts over the sharp ridge of his collarbone, itching to lean a millimeter forward to feel your lips on his skin. "Since the moment I saw you under those flashing lights," you kiss up the column of his throat so lightly he wonders if he imagined the softness of your lips, "coming to my rescue with club soda and napkins. You made me so nervous."

Levi sighs at your gentle touches, relishing in your sensual words and the way they paint praises into his skin. "Nervous? Why?" He can't even be embarrassed by the deep heavy breaths he needs to speak, anticipation building the more you touch him so achingly slow.

"Because you're clearly out of my league."

"Hardly!" He scoffs, cracking his eyes open to find you already watching him, smile teasing yet somehow tender at the same time. Air catches in his throat.

You raise a hand, fingers gliding through the fringe across his forehead, messy from your desperate grip just a few minutes ago. Your palm rests on his cheek, his lips seeking the pink dahlia on your wrist. "I think you might just be out of everyone's league."

He wants to argue, to spew poetry about how lovely you are, to use words that are far too inappropriate for the few hours you've known each other. Instead of falling victim to that humiliation, Levi recaptures your mouth with his own. The kiss is needy and firm and you reciprocate just as enthusiastically. Your hands roam each other's bodies, feeling everywhere but never feeling enough. You tug him closer by the hips, and Levi gasps as you press against the hardening heat in his pelvis.

Without him even realizing, you've switched positions with him and he startles for only half a second when you push him onto the bed. The shocking moment passes when you climb on top of him, and all he can think about is the way you straddle his hips, the way your white sundress cascades over his dark bedding, the way your blue hair curtains around him when you lean down to kiss him. All the ways you consume him in the curl of your smile and the warm shine of your eyes.

Your hips roll over his hardness, making him groan deep in his throat. "Wait wait wait," he stammers, scrambling to still your movement against every want in his body. You stop, leaning back with a concern so raw and compassionate that his chest aches. "You didn't do anything wrong," Levi assures quickly, caressing your cheek. His lips quirk up. "Maybe a little too right, actually."

Eyes flickering over his face, you nod at the honesty he pushes to the forefront. "Then what?" He can feel the way your thighs tremble impatiently.

Instead of answering, Levi braces you on his lap with one hand, stretching the other towards the drawer of his nightstand. He rummages for a moment until his fingers lock on the foil square he was looking for. "Didn't want to get too caught up in the moment," he mumbles, dropping the condom onto the comforter by his head for easy access.

Your eyes are hooded, flashing between him and the condom with a speed that has his heart thundering. "Bit presumptuous, hmm?"

"You think so?" He rolls his hips beneath you, both of you groaning at the much needed friction on your cores. Levi curses his briefs, the only fabric between your heats, wishing he could feel you bare against him.

Something like fire burns in your eyes, hands roaming his chest. When your nails scrape along his pecs, you clearly notice the way he shutters beneath you. And when you graze over his nipples with the pads of his fingers, you smirk at the little keening sounds he tries to swallow. You lean down, running your tongue along the subtle red marks left behind be your nails, wrapping your lips around his right nipple while your fingers tweak the left. It's a sensation he's not used to, the tingling warmth that comes from you playing with his nipples, but he likes it. Likes the little sparks of pleasure that shoot from your lips sucking the pebbled bud down to his hardened length. His hips buck up into you.

You switch sides, humming around his left nipple, fingers scratching at his abs. "You're so soft, Levi," you murmur against his skin. "Could spend all night just touching you like this."

And he wants you to, he wants that more than almost anything. Anything except to feel you. His fingers dance impatiently at your dress. "Can I take this off, huh Baby Blue? Let me see you? Touch you?"

At your nod, Levi is quick to sit you both up. He gathers the laced cotton fabric. bunching it up around your hips before slowly lifting the sundress up. There are bouquets on your hips he hadn't noticed before, too beautifully distracted to catalog the newest flowers on your skin. White chrysanthemums and purple hyacinths on your left hip contrasted with the vibrant orange marigolds and white magnolia's on the right. You raise your arms so he can fully remove the dress, fingers immediately going to the clasp of your simple white bra before he can take the honor. When the fabric drops away, he's as drawn to your exposed skin and pert nipples as he is to the the banner of dandelions and daffodils that decorate the undersides of your breasts. You seem suddenly shy, wrapping your arms around yourself to hide from him.

He kneads his thumbs into your biceps, pressing his lips to your forehead. "You're a work of art, Blue. Every part of you sculpted perfectly. I wish you wouldn't hide from me." Levi kisses your cheeks next, the tip of your nose, your jaw, your chin, and finally your lips in a chaste sensual touch. "Would it help if...you weren't the only one naked?"

His briefs are still on, the last barrier. It feels like the final line to cross. But you nod, fingers already hooking into the elastic. Levi raises his hips and helps you pull the last bit of cloth from his body and tosses them aside with the rest of your clothes.

You're staring again and he now understands why you covered yourself, fighting the urge to do the same.

Before he can overthink, you're reaching down to wrap a hand around his length, making him choke on whatever words he was going to say. He doesn't remember, only the warmth and softness of your hand clouding his mind. Levi's cock isn't huge, but he is long, slightly curved towards the tip and well groomed. Your grip is firm, not too tight but squeezes him just enough to feed that burning ache, and he cries out when your thumb brushes the weeping red head. His hips buck without his permission as you spread his prespend along his length.

The extra slick helps you move faster, now jerking him off with an enthusiastic flourish. Your thumb focuses on a particularly sensitive vein on the underside of his cock, threatening his flimsy restraint when you start whispering sweet little nothings against his ear. "You feel so good, so hard for me Levi. All for me, right? All mine tonight?"

"Yeah, yeah all for you...ah—!" Levi whimpers when your other hand goes down to squeeze his balls, that familiar tightness building deep in his core.

To keep from losing control entirely and blowing his load before he's even been inside you, Levi distracts himself with your heaving chest right in front of his face. He kisses your sternum first, lathing at the skin between your breasts because it's bare of ink and so so smooth. He sucks a mark into the skin there, tongue tracing the heated inflamed hickey with a possessiveness he shouldn't feel this fast. Your hands are still busy between his legs, tugging him, rubbing him, making his vision blur with pleasure.

Levi gives your chest the same treatment you gave his. Licking and tweaking your nipples with his lips and his fingers. Sucking more little marks into your breasts. His fingers trace the sensitive underside of your chest, cupping your breasts gently and squeezing to hear those musical moans of yours.

"Condom, Levi, get the condom. Want you inside me," you sigh into his ear, hips wiggling as your hands still piston around his cock.

The condom is in his hand before he's even thought to move, tearing open the foil with his teeth. He pinches the top, sliding the rubber over his length with ease. You encourage him to lay down with your palms on his chest, scooting up his body to slot your hips together. You haven't even touched him yet and you're already dripping, thighs glistening with your slick. Levi's chest rumbles when you press your soaking folds against his cock, rolling up and down to prep his length with your wetness.

"That's it, Baby Blue, just like that." He places his hands at your waist, thumbs circling the petals inked on your skin. "You ready, pretty girl? Ready for my cock?"

You nod rapidly, reaching down to position him at your entrance. "Yeah Levi, ready for you, want you inside so bad."

"Go slow, okay? Just relax, deep breaths, don't hurt yourself."

He can tell you're still sensitive from before, breathing deeply with tiny whimpers between exhales as you painfully slowly lower yourself. His head passes that first ring of muscle, his abdomen flexing from how tight you are despite using three fingers before to stretch you for him. You're wet enough that he glides in smoothly, your gummy walls hugging him like a vice and it's taking every ounce of strength not to just thrust upward those last few torturous inches. It feels like hours pass before you're fully sat in his lap, pelvic bone to pelvic bone.

"You're so deep, Levi...feels so good—!" You squeak when he wiggles his hips the slightest bit.

"So tight Blue, squeezing me so well." You're hunched over him, breathing deeply as you get used to him inside of you. He brushes a messy strand of blue from your forehead. "Move when you're ready, my sweet girl."

Levi thinks you might just be the most gorgeous thing he's ever seen, shining with sweat and lust above him. Blue hair mused, lips swollen from his kisses. Nothing about this feels like just fucking, like a meaningless one-night-stand, but it's impossible for it to be the other thing. Right?

Those dangerous thoughts fall away the moment you start moving. You start with small, shallow thrusts. Both of your moans filling the room as you raise yourself higher and higher only to lower yourself just as slowly. You take him deep and hard, but so unhurried like you want to memorize the ridges of his cock against your inner walls. The space between you is damp and sticky with sweat and arousal.

Levi groans at a particularly hard thrust, thighs tensing as he tries not to buck up into you. He wants this to be at your pace, but fuck if the slowness of it all isn't killing him just a little bit. "Can you go faster for me, Baby Blue? Please?"

And you do with a keening, "Mmhmmm!" You speed up until you're practically bouncing on his lap, breasts jiggling with the movement, eyes scrunched shut. Your hands are braced on his shoulders as you ride him. "Ah, ah! Nnngh, so good, so close Levi. Can't – need you, please. Need you, Levi—!"

He rolls you both over so your back presses into the mattress, hooking your legs around his hips as he thrusts into you. "I got you, I got you. Gonna take such good care of you, sweet girl..." Levi snaps into your heat quickly. "You feel perfect, the perfect little pussy! So tight for me, taking me so well! This pussy was made for me, don't you think Blue?"

"Yes yes yes! Just for you Levi!"

"Gonna ruin you, gonna make you cum...you wanna cum?"

"Please—!" You draw out the word on a strangled moan, wiggling against his thrusts as you chase that high. "Wanna cum, want you to make me cum—! Ah, ah, nngh—!"

Levi had raised your left leg, hooking your knee over his shoulder, and the new angle meant that every thrust grazed that special spongy patch inside of you. He captures your mouth in a searing kiss, swapping groans and spit between your messily tangled tongues. You cum when he sucks at the honeybee tattoo behind your ear, wailing and shaking through your orgasm so beautifully Levi's tempted to take a picture. He keeps up the brutal pace of his hips, right hand snaking to your puffy abused clit to rub maddening little circles.

"Oh my god, Levi—! Fuck—! So much, so good...!"

"C'mon, one more Baby Blue. You can give me one more, can't you?"

Your head thrashes from side to side, tears building in your eyes. "Don' know, don' know!"

"Yeah you can, you can give me one more." Levi speeds up his thumb on your clit, adding enough pressure that your thighs shake around him. "Love to watch you cum, pretty girl. Could watch it all night, every night."

"Please, please, please..." you ramble between unintelligible praises and whimpers.

Levi swipes your hair from your face, pressing his forehead to yours. "Look at me, Blue." Your eyes flutter, staring up at him with pupils blown in ecstasy and tears trailing down your cheeks. His nose nudges yours, breath ghosting over your lips. "Cum for me."

You tumble over that edge with a scream of his name. That tight band of pleasure inside Levi snaps and he follows you into bliss. It's white hot behind his eyes, tingling from the tip of his head and down to his curling toes. He prolongs the feeling, chasing that heat with deep purposeful bucks of his hips and slows drags of his thumb over your clit. You're practically sobbing beneath him, rutting your hips for those last drops of euphoria, milking him for all he's worth.

Blasphemously, he never wants to leave the heaven between your thighs.

"T-too much," you stammer, giggling as you nudge his hand from your clit, lacing your fingers with his far stickier ones without a care in the world.

He slows his movements, catching every last one of your whimpers between his lips, until he's still and softening in your trembling heat. Levi pulls out with great reluctance, rolling to his back beside you.

And even now, the silence between you is as comfortable as if you've known each other for years.

He'd hesitate to say wow, but..."Wow."

Your head swivels towards him, the cutest most satisfied smile on your face. "Yeah, wow." You're still trying to catch your breath, chest heaving and shining with perspiration. "You made me cum four times."

"I did," he chuckles, raising a brow. "What? Do you want to cum four more times?"

"No!" You laugh, playfully hitting his shoulder. "Just...wasn't expecting it, I guess."

Levi turns on his side, reaching to run his fingers through your hair and leaning in to kiss your cheek. "You deserve to feel good," he says like it's fact, because it is, and swallows any other dangerous words that threaten to escape his throat. "Stay with me."

Except those words apparently.

You smile warmly like you always do. "I'd like that," you whisper, leaning into his palm. "I was hoping not to pay for a cab tonight anyway."

He's not sure if he's glad or disappointed you think he means just for the night.

"I'll be back in a minute." Levi pecks your lips before disappearing into the bathroom. He starts by removing the condom, tying it off and tossing it into the bin. He gets a wet rag and cleans himself up, reaching for a fresh pair of sweat pants that hang low on his hips. He quickly brushes his teeth and washes the stickiness from his face and hands. No time or energy for an actual shower. Grabbing another washcloth, he wets it under the warm tap, refusing to look at his reflection lest he's forced to confront something far too lovesick and complicated.

When he saunters back into the room, you're tapping at your phone, presumably to update your friends so they don't worry about you in the morning. He briefly wonders if any of them managed to snag Erwin for the night.

You startle slightly when he swipes the wet cloth on your inner thigh, gently cleaning between your legs with a probably unprecedented amount of care. He makes eye contact, silently asking if you want him to stop, but you say nothing, just gift him another one of your easy smiles and spread your legs a little wider.

"Thank you, Levi," you say when he finishes, and he's grateful when you don't comment on the way he tenderly rubs your skin with his thumb.

"Of course." He steps towards the dresser, pulling out one of his best oversized t-shirts, soft from age and use and his favorite fabric softener. And a pair of boxers as well. Modesty and all that. "Here," he sets the clothes in your awaiting hands, half tempted to toss them away at the idea of you covering up. "I keep single-use toothbrushes under the sink for when Hange crashes here, if you want. Use anything in there."

You kiss his cheek as a thank you and it leaves his skin prickling. He resists the urge to touch the spot like a teenage girl with a crush.

While you're getting ready for bed, Levi tries to clean up a little. He collects all of his wayward clothes and tosses them into the hamper. He replaces the comforter, wet with your shared sweat. with a fresh blanket, making a mental note to wash it tomorrow. He eyes your dress and panties, deciding it's not a step too far to fold them neatly and leave them on top of his dresser. You know he's a 'clean freak' after all.

Lastly, he grabs two unopened bottle of water from his fridge, one for himself and one for you. He walks back into the bedroom, spotting you already getting cozy under the covers, and he barely holds back an elated smile. Though he can't do much about the way his heart flutters.

"Drink." He holds the bottle out to you, delighting in another one of your soft laughs.

"Yes sir," you salute, and Levi tries very very hard not to react to that. That is something to explore another day — if there is another day.

Levi takes his place on the other side of the bed, settling under the covers on his back. He's surprised when, once you've finished half the bottle of water, you curl into his chest. Head on his shoulder, arm winding around his waist, leg twining between his own. He loves it, but doesn't say it, doesn't show it, just wraps an arm around you and rests his chin on the blue crown of your head. You smell like his lotion and his toothpaste, and beneath that you still smell like sex.

How can something feel so nice and so terrifying at the same time?

A lot occurs to Levi in this moment, but one thing stands out above all else.

"Are you ever going to tell me you're real name?"

You adjust beneath him, craning back so you can meet his gaze. Your smile is coy this time, all teeth and dimple and mirth. "I don't know, I kind of like Blue."

"Me too, but..." Levi pauses, taking a deep courageous breath, "I'd like to know the real you. If – if that's something you want too."

He holds his breath as he waits for your response, counting the seconds as he tries to read your expression, but you're giving nothing away. He thinks his lungs may collapse when you finally speak.

"How about over breakfast?"

Levi blinks, calming his racing heart. "Yeah," he says eventually, feeling soft and mushy and like nothing anyone has made him feel before. "Breakfast sounds nice. I know a place, bit of a drive though."

"On your motorcycle?" You ask cheekily, grin widening at the long telling stretch of his silence. You shoot up, fingers pinching his sides at your victory. "I knew it!"

And when you fall into a fit of giggles, face shining under the dim lighting of his bedroom and lips looking oh so inviting, the only reasonable thing Levi can do is kiss you again.

[turtle-steverogers]

i was thinking but do you know the unsent project? it is this website where you can write a message to your first love that you never sent to them. now imagine steve writing one (or multiple) to bucky after he came out of the ice after nat told him about it... yeah

hello hi anon this broke me and it was too perfect not to turn into a ficlet klafjldskjfalskf thank you

-

Unsent Letters

To:

Steve’s fingers freeze over the keyboard, the cursor blinking at him. It feels like it’s taunting him-- teasing him with the burden of choking out a name. What should he even say? The sender is anonymous, but how many people are named Bucky out there? Would anyone even care?

To: Bu

Steve huffs and backspaces, his hands trembling as he curls them into fists. He isn’t sure what provoked Natasha to tell him about this website. It’s a cruel tease to everything he wishes he could say-- wished he could say before Bucky slipped through his fingers. And now his only option is yelling into an abyss. The text box is black and daunting. He turns it yellow. No, too happy. Green. Yes, that’s fine. Bucky’s favorite color was always green.

His gaze wanders away from the screen of his hefty Dell laptop and out the window of his apartment. DC’s low rising buildings span out in front of him. His gut aches; he misses New York already. But he knows being there would only mangle his soul further, seeing his already alien home torn to shreds by literal space whales. He huffs, thinking of Bucky’s comics. His stories came to life after all. Bucky would have probably vibrated out of his skin if he knew there was other life out there.

To: My astronaut

How’s space treating you? It’s treating me pretty badly, if I’m being honest. If only you could see what it’s done to Brooklyn. I think you’d be pretty mad at it if you knew…

Steve hesitates, reading back over what he’s typed. It’s stupid as hell, and he cringes, but he doesn’t backspace. His fingers find the keys again.

I miss you something awful. I don’t think that even encompasses how much I’m hurting without you. I feel so lost right now-- space is much bigger and scarier than you’d think. I know you’d love it. I wish you could see bits of it, but god, I just want to go home. I want you to come home.

Steve freezes again and finds the screen blurry where tears have welled in his eyes. His jaw clenches as he pictures the way Bucky would laugh at him-- teasing him for his dramatics and ruffling his hair. He wishes he could be there now, rolling his eyes and nudging Steve’s shoulder.

“What’re you upsetting yourself for?” He’d say, gently closing the laptop and coaxing Steve into his arms. “I’m right here, pal.”

And if Steve closes his eyes, he can almost feel Bucky’s warmth enveloping him. But he’s not there. He’s dead, and Steve’s a goddamn ghost, drifting through a future that doesn’t know him.

He opens his eyes and stares at the text box, then clicks submit.

The screen loads, and his message is gone, his pain forever documented in the abyss.

-

For someone who fought aliens two weeks after waking up from his impromptu seventy year sleep, Steve’s life is pretty monotonous. He contemplates this unfortunate fact as he stands in front of his toaster, hair sticking up on the back of his head as he nurses a mug of coffee and waits for his toast to pop.

It’s 5:45 in the morning and he tries to remember a time when he didn’t rise this early. Before the war, perhaps. Though, he’s always been a bit of an early bird. His home life was sporadic to put it lightly and he’d learned from an early age that the sooner he was awake, the better it was for everyone. Vigilance is not a new concept for Steve.

He hasn’t always stayed up late, though. That’s certainly new, and he feels this fact viscerally as he catches sight of his reflection in the microwave. There are bags under his eyes that will be gone by mid-morning thanks to the serum. Dermatologists hate him, Natasha says. Steve thinks he’s pretty lucky that the serum more or less equipped him with a built-in anti-aging agent. His father had started balding by thirty.

His toast pops and he starts a little, blinking blearily at the slightly burnt bread as he pulls it out of the toaster with his thumb and forefinger. He spreads on the same raspberry jam and butter that he uses every morning and tries not to think of how bland it tastes in his mouth as he eats it standing at the counter. Another routine.

He tries not to look at last night’s dishes in the sink as he stacks his plate and silverware on top and doesn’t bother sorting out his hair before pulling on his sneakers and slipping out of his apartment. The sun hasn’t quite risen yet, only the beginning tendrils of light sneaking over the low tops of the DC buildings, and Steve vaguely regrets not grabbing a sweatshirt before he left. It’s not quite Summer yet and the mornings could still get pretty cool.

He’s about to take off down the street when he freezes. Natasha is sitting on the steps of his complex, wearing a pair of pink tinted sunglasses and tossing up and down the keys to her car. Steve blinks, rubs his eyes, then blinks again. Nope. She’s still there.

“Nat?”

Natasha looks up at him and smiles. “Hello.”

Steve shifts, uncomfortable. “Hi. You need something? Is there a mission?”

“No,” Natasha says lightly, standing. “You’re not running this morning, though. Come on, I’m taking you to Starbucks.”

“What?”

“Starbucks. You’re going to try it.”

“I don’t want--”

“Steve, you do the same thing every day. Step out of your comfort zone a little.”

Steve frowns, but Natasha’s right-- he really doesn’t ever stray from his routine.

“Fine,” he says, and twenty minutes later, they’re strolling into the nearest Starbucks.

He’s only been in one before, and that was to use the restroom while on a run. He’d bought a water bottle in an attempt to not be rude and use their facilities without giving them any business, but he hadn’t even considered the expansive menu. All the fancy names were too daunting.

They’re just as daunting now as he stares up at the board, heart hammering out of his chest as he’s faced with indecision. Natasha takes one look at his face, and reaches out to squeeze his arm.

“I’ll order something for you,” she says. “What kind of coffee do you like?”

Steve gives her a pained look. “Um… just coffee?”

Natasha quirks a smile and orders him something called a caramel macchiato. He’ll take it, he guesses.

The drink is too damn sweet and sugary and he almost gags. Still, he was always told to finish what he was given, so he drinks the whole thing.

-

To: Mr. Sweet Tooth

You’d fucking love it here. Everything is packed with sugar and sweetness-- enough to make even my teeth rot. I had something called a caramel macchiato today and it tasted like someone took your ma’s caramels and condensed them into a cup. I couldn’t stand it, but I know if you were here, you’d want at least twelve. I hope you’re enjoying all the sweets you can up in space.

Love, Mr. Boring

-

Steve’s fingers are stiff and frozen as he works at the straps of his stealth suit. The tangy taste of saltwater still sits heavy on his tongue, and he clenches his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering too harshly as he finally peels off his suit. It’s not much better, being naked, but at least the wet fabric isn’t clinging to him anymore.

The mission had been pretty straightforward until some alien tech managed to blast the quinjet to kingdom come, and they all free-fell straight into the freezing Atlantic.

Steve had managed to keep it together as they took down the goddamn mad scientist that fucked them over, but now that he’s home and alone, he can feel the adrenaline crashing.

He’s shaking from more than just the cold as he draws himself a warm bath, and he pulls his knees up to his chest, trying to breathe through the panic that wants to engulf his entire being.

He loses time for a bit, and comes back to himself lying in his bed, burrowed under several thick layers. He feels so cold, down to his very soul-- a chill that he can never seem to truly shake, even when he’s warm.

Not for the first time, he wishes Bucky were there to hold him. He slips off to sleep thinking old, comforting thoughts of Bucky rubbing his hands between his own, coaxing his head under his chin to engulf him in that natural warmth of his. He always was a fucking furnace.

But when Steve wakes an hour later, shaking hard enough to move the bed with the force of the nightmare he’d dropped into, Bucky is not there to soothe away the ice.

-

To: JB

im so cold and i cant breathe ever and nothing feels right. I dont know what to do, u were always the problem solver between us and i cant think straight right now and i just want you here please. I cant do this anymore, im so tired please come back. I need you please

-

The Winter Soldier file sits in front of Steve-- a horrifying nightmare wrapped up in a neat brown folder. Residual nausea swirls around in his gut as he comes down from the horrible high of reading through the contents. His hands shake where they grasp the thick paper. His heart clenches hard in his chest.

Bucky is alive. Bucky is alive, and he’s been unmade.

Steve doesn’t know where he is-- if he’s escaped, or if Hydra found him again. It’s been three weeks now since the helicarriers, and he’s only just gotten the courage to sit down and wade through the shit that is Bucky’s reality.

He just hopes he’s safe. God, he hopes.

Sam says he’ll help him look, and Steve needs to know he’s at least out of danger, but he barely knows where to start.

And he’s sorry. He’s so fucking sorry.

Blinking out of his reverie, Steve looks at his laptop. He feels strange and detached as he reaches for it and logs in.

To: Bucky

And yes, that feels right. He should use his name, since he suspects no one has for a long, long time.

I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I’m sorry that you’ve been hurting so quietly for so long. I understand if you’re not ready to come home-- I understand if you never are. I just hope that you know that there will always be a place with me that is safe. I love you so much and I’m here, forever and always.

Love, Steve.

He’s not naive. He knows it would be dangerous to submit that particular message, so he doesn’t. But that’s okay. That one’s just for him-- for them.

-

“Steve? What is the… Unsent Project?”

Steve frowns and pokes his head out of the kitchen. Bucky is sitting on the couch in the living room, using his laptop, because his own is having storage issues.

Bucky looks at him. “It’s one of your saved tabs. What is it?”

And oh, fuck. Steve had forgotten to remove that from his homepage-- it really wasn’t needed anymore. He blushes all the way to his ears.

“Oh, it’s-- nothing. Not anything important--”

But Bucky has already clicked on the tab.

“The Unsent Project,” he reads aloud. “A collection of unsent text messages to… first… loves…”

He trails off as he processes what he’s looking at, and Steve can’t quite read his expression when he looks at him again. His eyebrows are furrowed, and he’s looking at Steve like he’s some sort of kicked puppy. Steve shifts, uncomfortable.

“Were you sending me… messages? While I was dead?”

Steve swallows. “Um…” and now that Bucky says it out loud, it really does sound quite sad. He shrugs. “It’s Natasha’s fault?”

Bucky shakes his head, clicking on the search bar. He starts to type his name, but Steve shakes his head.

“I didn’t use your name.”

“Oh,” Bucky says, then frowns at him again. “What did you use?”

Steve blushes harder, sitting next to Bucky and taking the laptop from him.

“Um…” he hesitates, then types what he was sure he used as his first alias.

My astronaut

The screen buffers and loads, then fifty or so messages pop up. Steve scrolls down-- it doesn’t take long to find his.

They’re both quiet as they read, and Steve cringes. Jeez, he really had been pretty dramatic. Next to him, Bucky makes a hurt noise.

“Oh, honey,” he murmurs, taking the laptop back from Steve. He reads the message again, then once more, and reaches out for Steve. “Aw, I’m here now.”

Steve huffs, embarrassed. “I know,” he says. “That was way back, like, three weeks after I woke up.”

Bucky stills. “You fought aliens three weeks after you woke up?”

“... More like two.”

Bucky hums. “Are there others?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, reaching out to type on Bucky’s lap, because Bucky is holding him now and he’s quite reluctant to move. He thinks for a moment, then types in the next one he remembers.

Mr. Sweet Tooth

Bucky laughs, and Steve finds himself smiling.

“I find this funny,” Bucky says. “Because caramel macchiatos are definitely one of my favorites now.”

Steve laughs, too, and butts his head against Bucky’s shoulder.

“If only I could tell that to myself back then-- he’d be thrilled.”

“I’m sure,” Bucky says. “Any more?”

Steve hesitates, thinking of the one he’d sent after that nightmare-- when he was low and hurting. Incoherent. He isn’t sure he wants Bucky to see that particular side of his soul, but Bucky has been more than generous in letting him in on his pains nowaday, and it’s not like Bucky hasn’t witnessed Steve’s own current nightmares.

He bites his lip and types in JB. That seems to yield a lot more results, and it takes a while for Steve to find the message.

He hides his face in Bucky’s neck as he reads. Bucky’s arms gradually tighten around him, and a moment later, he feels him kiss the top of his head.

“Honey, I hate that you were hurting so bad,” Bucky mutters against his hair.

Steve shrugs. “We both were,” he says, and it’s true. There’s something to be said about the guilt they both feel for not being able to save the other person at their lowest, but life hasn’t been kind to them. The vitriol, Steve thinks, should be directed at the goddamn universe for keeping them apart, not themselves for fucking dying. They’re working on it.

Bucky’s quiet for a long time. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he says. “Is that it?”

Steve shakes his head. “But I never sent the last one.”

“Why not?”

“I wrote it after DC.”

He feels Bucky squeeze him again, and he squeezes back.

“Oh.”

“I just-- I wanted you to know that you didn’t have to come home. That I just wanted you to be safe; needed to know you were safe, but it was up to you. I just needed you to know I was here, if you needed me.”

Bucky pulls back then and cups his face, kissing him soundly. Steve’s surprised for only a moment before he’s kissing back.

“I did know that,” Bucky says against his lips. “I needed time-- I was lost-- but the first thing I knew when I remembered who you were was that you were a safe person, because you’d never force me anywhere.”

Steve kisses him again, then pulls him into a hug. “I’m glad you knew that.” It’s warm, where their chests meet, and Bucky is solid beneath him. Real. He isn’t speaking into an abyss anymore.

-

There’s a sticky note on Bucky’s pillow next to his head when he wakes up the next morning. Steve’s side of the bed is already vacant, and he can’t hear him downstairs. He must have already left for a run.

Propping himself on an elbow, Bucky plucks up the sticky note.

To: My Bucky

Thank you for choosing me to be your home, and thank you forever, for being mine.

I love you with everything I have.

Love, your Steve

Bucky smiles, heart light as he folds the notes. He’ll keep that one with him, he thinks. A little bit of home to bring wherever he goes.

-

anyway yeah fslkjflaskjfls i-- ouch. anything to do with letters w these two hurts me immensely

[ks-dreams-fantasies]

Hii can u do a imagine abt like the reader and vinnie got into a fight bc of the rumors going around abt vinnie and nai and she saw the paparazzi picture too with nai and vinnie and nai is kinda touchy to vinnie (the reader and vinnie are secretly dating) and the reader hang out with larray and charli and dixie and she keep thinking abt the fight so she kinda had a bad day and when she came home she said this to vinnie “ I know you are mad at me but I had a really bad day so can we pause the fight for 5 minutes I need a hug “ with Vinnie plss thank youuu!

*Picture's not mine*

As long we got each other - Vinnie Hacker

So I changed it up a bit, hope that’s okay with you☺️ Thanks for your request, so sorry for the wait. Enjoy 💜

Warning : a Little bit of angst

Word Count : 1.3k

---------------------------------------------------------------------

‘’ TikTok stars, Vinnie Hacker and Nailea Devora were seen hanging out at Saddle Ranch with other known creators. The pair has been spotted a lot together recently, hanging out and posting videos together. Their fans has been shipping them and –“ you closed the tab, sighing.

You were watching one of Hollywood Fix’s latest video while Vinnie was in the shower. You could feel your blood boil into your veins at the newest gossip. You got tired of hearing all these rumors about your boyfriend. It was your choice to keep your relationship a secret, not wanting people to come after you for dating one of the most hyped TikToker to ever be.

You were quickly making a name for yourself and you preferred laying low with Vinnie, scared of people cancelling you or calling you a clout chaser. He understood and respected your decision, even though the only thing he wanted to do, was show you to the world. Vinnie was madly in love with you, to say the least, showering you with his affection any time of the day. He often stayed at your place, liking the calm and the intimacy the two of you could have, it was far different from the Hype House.

“Earth to (Y/N)” a voice startled you. Looking towards the bathroom, you were met with a dripping Vinnie. He was leaning against the door frame, drying his wet hair with a towel while another one sat tightly against his hips.

“What?” you asked rather harshly, making him put both his hands up in defense

“Whoa there, Tiger. What’s gotten you all worked up?”

“Nothing”

“I know you baby. Something is bothering you, I can tell. Talk to me” he approached you, sitting next to you, on the bed.

“Are you and Nai sleeping together?” you asked looking directly into his eyes

“Wh-what? Of course not, I’m in a relationship with you, I would never do that”

“Well maybe, she should know because she’s all over you.” you responded, sighing loudly.

“She’s just my friend (Y/N), nothing more” he said putting his hand on your right knee, before you got up swatting his gesture away.

“Really? You always go out with her, everyone is talking about you and I’m getting tired of it. You take her out like the both of you are in a relationship” you said getting frustrated

“I don’t take her out, we all go as a group. Plus, if my girlfriend wasn’t so ashamed of me, maybe she’s the one I would take out” he got up, turning his back at you, heading towards his dresser to grab some clothes

“I’m not ashamed of you, don’t change the subject Vinnie. You know why I want to keep our relationship a secret”

“Then stop giving me bullshit about going out with my friends, I asked you a bunch of time to come and you always deny my offer. Going out to lunch as a group doesn’t mean people will think we are together.” He sighs before covering his upper body with a white t-shirt

“You know damn well, girls who hang out with you always get hate, Nai is probably the only exception. You said you respected my decision”

“I do respect your decision, but it doesn’t mean I have the same opinion. I just want to be with you and show you off (Y/N). It’s difficult for me too.” He said turning to face you, his eyes burning into yours

“It’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one getting the hate” you responded aggravated with the conversation

“You’re not going to get hate (Y/N), and even if you did, who cares? It doesn’t matter as long as we have each other”

“Arghhhh, you don’t get it” your voice getting louder, grabbing your bag turning around marching towards the door

“Where are you going?” he asked you dumfound

“Out, we’re both clearly angry with the situation, and I prefer to leave before one of us says something we would regret.” You said, exiting the room leaving Vinnie speechless and fuming.

You had gone to join your friends, trying to change your mind from the argument you just had with your boyfriend. Hanging out with Larray, Charlie and Dixie for sure helped, but they could see you were not your normally bubbly self.

“You sure everything is good girl?” Larray asked you, looking worried

“Yeah (Y/N) you seem off today” Charlie emphasized while sipping on her iced coffee

“Oh euhm yes, everything is okay. I don’t know I’m just tired I guess” you responded giving your friends a small smile trying to reassure them.

After a day filled with shopping and paparazzi following you around, you decided to head back home, feeling exhausted. You wiggled your keys, unlocking the door, stepping inside, dropping your many bags on the floor before making your way to the living room plugging your cellphone. It had notified you earlier, indicating your phone was out of battery. A few seconds passed, before it rang multiple times, a bunch of text messages and missed calls coming through, most of them being from Vinnie.

“Where are you baby?”

“I’m sorry, can you please call me back”

“(Y/N), I’m starting to get worried now”

“I saw you were out with you friends, I know you’re mad at me baby, I’m sorry, I love you”

You sighed, contemplating whether to call him or not. Before thinking twice, you dialed his number, the phone ringing a couple of times before hearing his deep voice

“(Y/N)?” he said, his voice sounding worried

“I know we’re fighting right now, but I had a really bad day and I need a hug” you said on the verge of tears

“I’ll be right over baby” he responded before hanging up. You went to change into some comfier clothes and washed your face before you heard a knock on the door. You went to open it and the moment you did, two big arms engulfed you in a hug. Your head found its way into his neck, breathing in his scent.

“I needed that” you mumbled, detaching yourself slightly as you looked into his eyes.

“I love you, you know that” he said his eyes burning into your soul making you close the gap between the both of you, going in for another hug.

“I’m sorry about the argument. It was stupid of me to accuse you of being with Nai”

“It’s okay baby, I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you, I shouldn’t have. I don’t want you to worry about other girls, you’re the only one for me” he said kissing the top of your head

“And I respect your decision to keeping our relationship on the low. I’m just so in love with you and I just want to show you to the world, but I know it’s selfish of me to think this way” he sighed pulling your body away from him, only standing a few centimeters from each other. You pecked his lips, before smiling softly at him, making him furrow his eyebrows in confusion

“Let’s go get ice cream” you said out of the blue

“What?” he said laughing lightly

“You heard me, let’s go get ice cream, together, as a couple” you took his hand dragging him out of the door

“You sure about that? I don’t want to pressure you” he said stopping you and bringing you closer to him

“Vinnie, I’m willing to go out with you in public, dressed like this and holding your hand and you’re questioning me?” you asked smirking at him “You were right earlier, I’m not afraid as long as we got each other”

That night you and Vinnie went to get ice cream a few fans snapping pictures of the both of you hand in hand smiling at each other, both your names soon trending on the internet.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks for reading

Hope you like it, let me know what you think

-K

[miraculouscontent]

Who wants more sad statistics~?

Because say hello to the color-coded guide to Marinette blame/mistakes! Obviously there’s some room for debate (even I struggled with how to color an episode from time to time), but it should be mostly accurate.

Blue = "Marinette wasn't really blamed for anything notable and didn't really suffer from Adrien" Cyan = "Marinette was blamed for something unrelated to Adrien that she didn't do/she shouldn't be made to feel bad for" (this one is probably the most subjective) Green = "Marinette was blamed/made a mistake but it had nothing to do with Adrien" Yellow = "Marinette doesn't technically make a mistake or get blamed, but is negatively impacted by her crush on/relationship to Adrien" Red = "Marinette either was blamed for/made a mistake that related to Adrien."

"Negatively impacted by her crush on Adrien" could mean generally anything, but it leans towards Marinette embarrassing herself in front of Adrien, characters making snippy/unnecessary comments about her crush, and things that wouldn't have happened if her Adrien crush didn't exist. In the case that Marinette makes a mistake/is improperly blamed for something not about Adrien (cyan/green) but also is negatively impacted by her relationship to him (yellow), whatever is given more attention will take priority. There could've easily been a lot of cyan+red episodes had I allowed myself to use two colors.

Now look at all that red, which is easily the most frequent color, and then try and tell me that Marinette's crush isn't just a tool to humiliate her and force her to make mistakes in order to fit the "Marinette makes a mistake" quota.

I've put the explanations below on my decisions for each episode, as well as the tally for everything together:

Season 1

"Stormy Weather" (red) - Marinette blames herself for leaving Manon, and they're only at the park in the first place because of her Adrien crush.

"The Bubbler" (red) - Marinette uses Lucky Charm explicitly to stop Chloe and Adrien from dancing together.

"The Pharoah" (green) - Ladybug drops her schoolbook; relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, but seems to be why the show forces Marinette to awkwardly try to keep Alya in the museum instead of just having Tikki directly point out where to go.

"Lady Wifi" (green) - Marinette overslept while doing homework and was late for class

"Timebreaker" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for not being home to give the cake to Nadja... who came early and thus Marinette shouldn't have been expected to expect her

"Mr. Pigeon" (yellow) - Marinette embarrasses herself in front of Adrien, with Alya making faces at her all the while

"The Evillustrator" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for ditching Sabrina when she has an akuma to worry about, accused of "being like Chloe" (i.e: the person who Sabrina immediately goes back to anyway)

"Rogercop" (red) - Marinette, after being accused, states that everyone has the potential to be guilty, but sidesteps Adrien when someone suggests it

"Copycat" (red) - Marinette, panicked by an embarrassing confession she left on Adrien's phone (thanks to Alya), steals it to delete the message (also thanks to Alya)

"Dark Cupid" (red) - Marinette forgets to sign the love letter addressed to Adrien, which Alya laughs at her for

"Horrificator" (red) - Marinette is pressured/convinced to play Mylene's role instead when Alya throws out that she'd be kissing Adrien

"Darkblade" (cyan) - Marinette doesn't want to run for class representative because she already has enough on her plate (...what a monster?); both Alya and Alix make snarky comments at her for this

"The Mime" (green) - Marinette deletes a video on Alya phone and spends the rest of the episode trying to recreate it

"Kung Food" (cyan) - Marinette blames herself for defending her great uncle and insulting Chloe (again... what a monster?), which leads to Chloe sabotaging Wang's cooking

"Gamer" (red) - Marinette enters the gaming competition solely for Adrien

"Animan" (yellow) - Marinette offers to get Nino a date with Alya, an event that wouldn't have taken place if not for Marinette's crush (either there wouldn't have been a zoo trip at all or Alya wouldn't have been there); in addition, Alya tells Nino about Marinette's Adrien crush, which Marinette is distraught by

"Antibug" (cyan) - Ladybug is blamed for "not accepting help from others" (except she did at the beginning of the episode) and not listening to Chloe (who is a habitual liar)

"The Puppeteer" (green) - Marinette folds to Manon's "baby doll eyes" and gives her something that Nadja insisted she not have

"Reflekta" (green) - Marinette tries to steal Guiseppe's SD camera card so Juleka's picture will need retaken

"Pixelator" (red) - Marinette shirks her job as Jagged's gopher in order to get back to Adrien as soon as possible

"Guitar Villain" (blue) - Not much happens, just cool Marinette stuff; there are technically scenes of Marinette embarrassing herself around Adrien, but either no one else was there to witness it or there wasn't any significant reaction to it

"Princess Fragrance" (red) - Alya forces Marinette to go talk to Adrien, which results in Marinette tripping and losing Tikki

"Simon Says" (cyan) - Marinette... I guess is at fault for struggling to keep up with schoolwork and hero duties? That's what you get for wanting to help people, Ladybug

"Volpina" (red) - Marinette is mocked for being jealous, her following Adrien is presented as her doing it jealously (she literally says that she's going to warn Adrien about Lila stealing the book from him before Tikki stops her, but okay), and she yells at Lila as Ladybug, which is also presented as being "only about Adrien."

"Origins - Part 1 (Ladybug & Cat Noir)" (green) - Ladybug neglects to capture the akuma, having forgotten that detail

"Origins - Part 2 (Stoneheart)" (green) - The mistake from Part 1 carries over... the episode also may or may not blame Marinette for encouraging Ivan.

blue - 1 cyan - 6 green - 7 yellow - 2 red - 10

Season 2

"A Christmas Special" (red) - Marinette's "Adrien blindness" causes her to jump to conclusions and believe that a Santa Claus lookalike is an akuma

"The Collector" (red) - Marinette lies to Master Fu in order to protect Adrien, not able to believe that Adrien could be Hawk Moth

"Despair Bear" (red) - Marinette goes to Chloe's party for Adrien and is repeatedly mocked/teased for this

"Prime Queen" (cyan) - Ladybug "makes a mistake" in getting upset at Nadja for trying to pry into her romantic relationships and her potential romance with Chat Noir

"Befana" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for "lying" to her grandmother about going to a birthday party with her friends (she didn't) and "not wanting to spend time with her" (she did, Gina is the one who neglected Marinette for literal years)

"Riposte" (cyan) - One of the more subjective ones, but going frame-by-frame, Adrien's saber bends first yet the episode calls Marinette "flustered" and "new to fencing" to say that she's wrong in her choice

"Robostus" (blue) - Mostly free of crush and mistakes, episode focuses primarily on the main plot of the akuma being caused (if I had a color for Marinette just normally being mocked/embarrassed though, it'd be here)

"Gigantitan" (red) - Needs no explanation: Marinette is embarrassed in front of the girls multiple times and the entire subplot causes the akuma that almost hits Gorilla

"The Dark Owl" (green) - Ladybug orchestrates a situation in which the Dark Owl could save her so as to not hurt his feelings, which ends in him being found out, humiliated, and akumatized

"Glaciator" (red) - Marinette is upset because Adrien didn't show up to get ice cream with her, which leads to her blowing up on Andre

"Sapotis" (blue) - Marinette goes largely blameless for everything; not much here

"Gorizilla" (yellow) - Multiple "jokes"/"mocking" about Marinette revealing skin/being in her pajamas in front of Adrien

"Captain Hardrock" (blue) - Surprisingly void of blame on Marinette despite her being depressed over Adrien; if anything, Luka apologizes for making a teasing comment when she was upset

"Zombizou" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for being upset with Chloe for ruining her gift for Miss Bustier

"Syren" (cyan) - Ladybug is blamed for keeping secrets from Chat Noir (look at the Adrien stans for reference)

"Frightningale" (red) - Marinette is bothered by Chloe being Ladybug, but Adrien is involved so the fandom can easily put blame on her concerning her Adrien crush (see Marinette salters for reference)

"Troublemaker" (red) - Marinette's Adrien pictures are intentionally inflated/exaggerated to humiliate her more

"Anansi" (green) - I wouldn't argue if someone suggested that this is a cyan: Marinette "makes a mistake" in cheating Nora's arm-wrestle with Nino since Nora was being unreasonable

"Sandboy" (green) - Marinette agrees with Tikki that they should do something to help Nooroo without asking Fu

"Reverser" (cyan) - Marinette peeks at Marc's work and tries to help him work with Nathaniel (I see, so when Alya meddles to push Marinette past her comfort zone, it's fine, but--); she also embarrasses herself in front of Adrien over this

"Frozer" (red) - Marinette suffers because Adrien's an idiot and has tons of people in relationships to ask advice from, and he chooses to ask Marinette; Marinette appears to be "blamed" for either wanting to move on (due to the girls fighting) or agreeing to go with Adrien, along with a "bonus" (almost earning a cyan) due to Chat throwing a hissy fit over her rejecting him

"Style Queen" (cyan) - Marinette is blamed for thinking that the magic ladybugs would bring the miraculous back to Fu (see "Sentibubbler" covering for Chat for reference on how the narrative sees this)

"Queen Wasp" (cyan) - Carried over from "Style Queen"; Ladybug is blamed for losing the miraculous

"Malediktator" (red) - Marinette is made to feel bad for being glad that her bully of many years is gone (almost earning a cyan here, or even a yellow), and this is all due to Adrien; he also unintentionally convinces her to give Chloe a miraculous (her "mistake" according to future episodes), which sets off a slew of events that makes her suffer

"Catalyst" (cyan) - Alya not believing Marinette due to her Adrien crush carries over from "Volpina," almost earning this a red, but Marinette also lies about her gift for Heroes' Day. However, the fact that she is completely sleep-deprived from the night before and was being made fun of for only bringing macarons is largely ignored by the narrative and treated too much as her fault

"Mayura" (red) - When going to correct her mistake from last episode, Adrien throwing a pity party for himself makes Marinette go back on it

blue - 3 cyan - 9 green - 3 yellow - 1 red - 10

Season 3

"Backwarder" (red) - Marinette gives Adrien the wrong letter (due to each slip of paper she has conveniently looking the exact same but the episode clearly indicates it to be her fault); she's also humiliated over this

"Weredad" (cyan) - Marinette lies to Chat Noir in a panic to protect her identity. The fact that Chat Noir is an idiot who wonders why Marinette might be on her own darn balcony and that Tikki doesn't offer a better solution for the situation is given no attention

"Chameleon" (red) - Alya believing that Marinette is only upset with Lila over Adrien presumably carries over from "Volpina" and "Catalyst;" Marinette's relationship with Adrien also seems to make her more inclined to believe in what he says about doing nothing about Lila

"Animaestro" (red) - No explanation needed; Marinette's Adrien crush makes her more inclined to believe Chloe (remember "Malediktator" and "Zombizou"?) when Chloe claims that Kagami stole her seat next to Adrien, which convinces Marinette to team up with Chloe against Kagami, and this leads to Marinette being embarrassed over her crush

"Bakerix" (green) - Marinette makes a mistake in... I guess riling up her grandfather? (this one's pretty subjective and I wouldn't argue with anyone who says this should be cyan)

"Silencer" (blue) - Regardless of what "Crocoduel" says, Marinette isn't blamed in this episode for challenging Bob Roth

"Oblivio" (cyan) - Marinette seems to weirdly be blamed/punished for getting upset with Chat Noir if the smugness of Chat+Alya about the taken picture is to be believed (perhaps """explained""" in "Reflekdoll" about Chat having his role to play as the "sense of humor")

"Stormy Weather 2" (yellow) - Marinette spends a portion of the episode sulking about the little progress she's made with Adrien

"Reflekdoll" (red) - Needs no explanation: Marinette's anxiety is caused by Adrien and she's blamed for it despite Alya orchestrating everything

"Oni-Chan" (red) - Marinette chases after Adrien and Lila, which is made to be completely about Marinette's crush on Adrien despite Marinette telling Tikki about her actual concerns (which end up coming true as Kagami gets akumatized)

"Miraculer" (cyan) - Chat gets snippy with Ladybug for not telling Chloe right away (apparently assuming that Ladybug doesn't have other obligations to attend to like school; she even tells Chat that she "wouldn't have time that day"), and Ladybug was literally about to before the sentimonster and Miraculer show up

"The Puppeteer 2" (red) - Marinette repeatedly pushed and punished for liking Adrien, then punished again in front of Adrien (who she thinks is a statue) when she was actually just taking the advice that Tikki gave her

"Desperada" (red) - The guitar scene (i.e: "huh, who would've known that my wingwoman for Adrien was actually trying to wingwoman me with Luka one time!"), Aspik (i.e: "wow, the guy who I thought was perfect because that's what the narrative is always telling me actually doesn't fit what the narrative was telling me!"), and that's all I need to say

"Startrain" (blue) - Mostly mistakeless on Marinette's end; the focus is on other characters/plots (again, if I had a color for Marinette being mocked/embarrassed though, it'd also go here)

"Kwamibuster" (blue) - Marinette isn't blamed for anything; even though Master Fu isn't aware of the events at first, Tikki apologizes to Marinette in front of him later

"Feast" (yellow) - Marinette is briefly distracted by Adrien until Alya chides her so that she can show Marinette the information she might as well have hand-delivered to Hawk Moth

"Ikari Gozen" (red) - Marinette tries to sabotage her and Kagami to prevent Kagami from meeting up with Adrien

"Timetagger" (cyan) - Tikki notes Marinette's bad excuses (which are due to the sheer amount of akuma) to the point where Alya had replaced her as babysitter before Marinette explained that she couldn't show up (I wouldn't argue with anyone who said this should be blue instead)

"Party Crasher" (red) - Marinette tries to crash the secret boys-only party in order to spend time with Adrien

"Gamer 2.0" (cyan) - Marinette+Ladybug is blamed for being upset that they have no time for anything, with Ladybug in particular "making the mistake" of taking over and failing due to Chat constantly goofing off despite her urging

"Chat Blanc" (red) - Marinette is pressured/threatened by the girl squad (specifically Rose) enough that she decides to sneak into Adrien's house

"Felix" (yellow) - Marinette, after "finally" confessing to Adrien (for like--the fourth time), ends up running off and rambling in front of Luka (not knowing that he's there), which embarrasses her

"Ladybug" (red) - Alya's doubts of Marinette's hatred of Lila (implied in "Volpina" and stated in "Catalyst" to be about her crush on Adrien) carries over as Alya chides Marinette for blaming Lila, and had Marinette not listened to Adrien in "Chameleon," Lila may have been stopped early on and she wouldn't have gotten expelled (otherwise, the episode would've gotten a "cyan" because how dare Marinette be emotional at being accused of cheating and get angry at Lila)

"Christmaster" (red) - Marinette lies to Chris (in the exact way that Alya does to Manon in "Stormy Weather" but sure) in order to protect her darn privacy so Chris doesn't find out about her chest full of Adrien gifts, which leads to Chris getting akumatized

"Heart Hunter" (red) - Ladybug neglects to detransform due to being distracted by Adrimi happening, which leads to long-lasting and overly harsh consequences

"Miracle Queen" (red) - Ladybug's mistake carries over from the previous episode

blue - 3 cyan - 5 green - 1 yellow - 3 red - 14

Total: blue - 7 cyan - 20 green - 11 yellow - 6 red - 34

[witchywrter]

“Home” (Part 5/?)

Paul Lahote x reader

Part 4

Summary: y/n returns from college in California to her hometown in Forks to find things are not as she left them. She soon discovers that a lot more things have changed then she initially thought.

Warnings: mentions of death, car accident, verbal fighting, cussing, i think that covers it

A/N: i am literally so sorry for not updating sooner guys lmao i’m trying to update all my fics now, especially this one bc i love it. i’ll get the next one out next week. love you all!_______________________________________________

You felt so much pain as you began to regain consciousness and could make out someone calling your name.

“Y/n?”

You turned your head to the source of the sound to see a Doctor at your side, his hand on your arm. He was very handsome. Not exactly your type, but still. He looked to be around your age, far too young to be a Doctor already.

“Hello Y/n, my name is Dr.Cullen. You’ve been in an accident”

Your head was throbbing and you felt pain radiating from your stomach and leg. You looked around to find that you were indeed in the hospital.

You looked down at his hand on your arm. It was ice cold, absolutely freezing. He must have noticed you looking because he removed his hand.

“How long have I been here?” you asked, looking back to the Doctor.

“About a day and a half. Do you remember anything?” he asked kindly.

“There was a man in the road, he came out of nowhere. I swerved to try to avoid him” you said trying to remember.

“Your car flipped four times and caught fire. A piece of glass punctured your abdomen and another your left thigh, narrowly missing your femoral artery. We were able to stop the bleeding and stabilize your condition. You’re lucky to be alive, if your friend hadn’t been there to pull you out when he did, you could have died” he finished, shaking his head.

“My friend?” you asked.

“He’s from the reservation, one of Jacob Black’s friends I believe” he said.

Well that didn’t exactly narrow it done much. Your car was totaled most likely. You’re dad’s car, the one thing you had left of him.

“You’ll be okay, but you need your rest. You can be discharged tomorrow morning and the stitches will dissolve on their own in two weeks” he said has he picked up your chart and began walking away.

“Oh, one more thing. Sherif Swan called me, if you still want that internship, send over your resume and you can start after your two weeks” he said with a slight smile on his lips.

“Thank you Dr.Cullen” you called out as he left to check on other patients.

You looked over to your side to see an array of gifts on the beside table and chair. There seemed to be something from everyone. Flowers with cards from Leah, Sam, Emily and even Charlie and his daughter Bella and a big card from Quill, Embry, Collin, and Brady with all their own little messages and signatures.

The huge, brown bear sat on the chair with a red ribbon around its neck didn’t seem to have a card accompanying it.

You grabbed your phone from the side table and unlocked it. There were a few messages from friends and one from your mom. You opened up your mom’s message and read:

“Why did I have to find out from the Sherif that my daughters been in a car accident. You know what it was like for me when your father passed and the fact that you’d put me through that again is appalling”

This was followed by multiple messages about how horrible of a daughter you were and how you have no excuse for ignoring her text messages.

She had no right to bring up your dad like that. As if you got into an accident to hurt her, as if you were unconscious and not responding on purpose.

Your dad was driving home one night after a long night at the hospital when he was hit by a drunk driver. He was pronounced dead at the scene. You never got to say goodbye. Never got to tell him you loved him one last time.

You turned your phone off and set it on the side table and laid back down. Although you were out for a day and a half, you felt utterly exhausted, mentally and physically. You pulled your blankets back up and closed your eyes, hoping for a full nights rest.

You woke up to the curtains flying back, sunlight flooding the room. Your eyes stung as you were blinded.

“Wake up loser, it’s time for a jail break” Leah said in a very cheerful voice.

“No Leah, I’m not dead and feel amazing” you say in a sarcastic voice.

“That’s exactly what i wanted to hear. Seriously though, are you okay? You scared the shit out of everyone” she said, her voice taking on a concerned tone.

“Yeah, just beat up. Should be at healed up in two weeks” you say, sitting up.

“Here, I brought these from Emily’s house” she said, tossing a long sleeve, pants, socks, undergarments and shoes onto the bed.

After you changed and signed the discharge papers, you and Leah headed back to Emily’s place.

“What a bitch,” Leah said with disgust as she climbed the steps.

“I know, I still can’t believe I’m related to her” you say shaking your head.

Leah opened the front door and you hear “Surprise!” as you walk through. Everyone but Collin, Brady, Quill and Paul were there for your second homecoming.

Jake ran up to hug you, but Leah stepped in front of him.

“You wanna rip her stitches dumbass?” she said like a mother correcting her child.

“Oh shut it Leah” Jacob said, but gave you a much gentler hug than he originally intended.

“How are you?” Jake asked.

“Well I think I might fall over and die if one more person asks how I am” you say laughing. You stop as a stabbing pain shoots from your abdomen.

Sam, Emily and Seth hug you as well before you finally make it to the couch to sit down.

“What happened?” Embry asked taking a seat next to you with Leah on the other side.

“I was driving back here and I looked down at my phone for barely a second and when I looked back up there was a man in the road” you said.

“Well you know what they say about texting and driving” Seth said but the joke fell flat as no one laughed.

“What did the man look like?” Jake asked in a serious tone.

“Pale I guess, black hair, I’m not really sure. Why?” you asked, confused.

“No reason, just wondering” he said looking over to Sam who was sitting on a stool by the counter talking to Emily.

“Do you know who pulled me out?” you asked Jacob.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“Dr.Cullen said one of our friends pulled me out of the car before it caught fire”

“Oh, uh, Paul did” he said.

Paul. Of all of your friends you had thought it might have been, that was the absolute last person you’d think would save you. If anything he’d probably be the one to toss you right into the flames.

“Oh” was all you said.

The front door opened and in walked Quill and Paul.

“Well I’ve gotta get back to..work” Jacob said standing up.

“Me too” said Seth as he followed Jacob to the door.

“Heal up Y/n!” Jacob yelled over his should and he and Seth left.

Quill came over and sat where Seth had just been and gave you a hug and Paul went straight to Sam without even acknowledging you.

Not like it mattered anyway.

“How are y-“ Quill started.

“Fine” you cut him off.

Through the rest of the day, people started to leave one by one as they had work, school or other things to get to. Eventually Paul said his goodbyes to Sam and Emily and began walking out the door, again without saying a word to you.

You got up as quickly as you could without hurting yourself and momentarily excused yourself from your board game that you were beating Embry in. You walked out the door just as Paul was off the steps.

“Hey!” you called to him.

Paul stopped and slowly turned back to you.

“What?” he asked rudely, not fully meeting your gaze.

Instead of responding with the same attitude, you walked down some of the steps.

“I just wanted to say thank you. Jacob told me what you did” you said gently.

“It wasn’t exactly like there was a choice in the matter” he spat.

“Could you just not be a complete asshole for once in your life? I’m trying to thank you for saving my life” you said, anger getting the best of you.

“Well it would have saved me a world of trouble had I not” he said.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you ask, raising your voice.

“Nothing. I-I can’t do this right now, I won’t do this right now” he said, voice equal to yours now.

“No, come on Paul, let it out. Say what you need to say!”

Paul started shaking with anger and as much as you knew you should stop, your anger wouldn’t let you.

“Say. It.” you seethed.

“Paul!” you heard as the front door swung open.

You turned around to see Quill come running down and barreling into Paul, pushing him away from you. Sam came running out too.

“Get him out of here!” Sam yelled.

Quill grabbed Paul and pulled him out into the woods.

“What the hell?” you asked

“Get inside Y/n!” Sam yelled.

“You don’t tell me what to do” you said angrily

“Get. Inside. Now.” he said sternly.

You scoffed but turned on your heal and went inside and upstairs, waking right passed Emily and ignoring her as she called out to you.

Who did they think they were, telling you to get inside. Paul always had anger problems, this wasn’t anything new.

You hate him.

“Well it would have saved me a world of trouble had I not” replayed again and again in your head. You hated him for making you feel less than, for making you feel worthless.

Him saving you meant nothing. He was a dick to you your entire life and you didn’t care that Sam asked you to lighten up on him. No one bit.

As you laid down to sleep, not even bothering to take off your clothes or change, you wiped the single tear that escaped. You hated him and always would.

//////////////

You were walking through the woods to get to your favorite spot again. It was the middle of the night, but Jacob asked to meet you there. The moonlight shown through the thick trees, illuminating your path.

Everything was so green and beautiful, you missed being home.

You walked a little farther when your foot hit something, stopping you in your tracks. You looked down to see a rock jutting up from the ground. It was the same one you fell on the other day. It still had blood on it, fresh and bright and not at all dried. That wasn’t right. You fell days ago, it should be dried or the rain should have washed it off.

*Snap*

You spun around. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest, that same feeling of being watched returning. You shouldn’t be out here. Emily warned you.

You scanned your surroundings, but it was too dark. What happened to the moonlight? You squinted your eyes and saw him-it.

The man from the road, eyes blood red, skin pale as snow, hair dark as the night around him. He cocked his head to the side, watching you.

Where did he come from? Had he been watching you the whole time? Was he in the woods that first day?

You could try to outrun him, you didn’t know how far into the woods you were, you didn’t even remember how you got here. You went to take a step back but he was in front of you instantly and attacked, grabbing your arm.

You jolted upright, breathing heavily. You looked around. You were in your room, at Sam and Emily’s. You were safe. You ran your fingers through your hair as you looked out the window. It was the middle of the night.

There were things that weren’t adding up. Everyone has been acting weird, telling you to avoid the woods, saying that whatever has been attacking people isn’t animal or human, the man in the road, even Paul’s behavior has been worse than normal…something wasn’t right, you could feel it in your gut.

You knew what they told you, the warnings, but with everything that happened with Paul and your mom, you didn’t care anymore. You were gonna find out what was going on, no matter what.

_______________________________________________

A/N: hey guys! i hope you enjoyed this chapter! lots of stuff happened and i swear we’re gonna get more paulxreader interactions from now on. love you all❤️❤️

@that-animebitch @fangirlanotherjust @justdidabadthing @scuzmunkie @ccosmic-illusion

@xthefuckerysquaredx @destroyed-and-damned @classyunknownlover @hglyu @blackloveangel13

@champagnesugamama @bshelley322