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blakeswritingimagines · 2 days ago

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Kink List With Matt Rempe

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Matt Rempe is a total sweetheart after sex. He's all about cuddling and physical closeness, eager to wrap his strong arms around you and pull you close against his chest. He'll run his fingers through your hair, whispering sweet nothings in your ear and nuzzling his nose into your neck. You can feel his heart beating strong and steady, the rhythm of his breaths slowing to a deep, steady tempo as he relaxes.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Matt Rempe is all about muscle. He takes great pride in his physique and the power it gives him on the ice. Off the ice, he enjoys showing off his hard work and the way his muscles stand out against his skin. He also takes great pleasure in admiring the bodies of others. He likes firm muscles and curves that are soft and supple. He can't get enough of running his hands along the dips and swells of a body, feeling the movement and the heat. He likes to take in all the sensations of touch and taste, especially in intimate moments.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Matt Rempe typically produces a decent amount of cum, especially if he's been saving up. He usually either cums inside his partner or on their body, depending on what they're into. He's also a big fan of creampies and likes to be a bit of a possessive partner, marking his territory and claiming his partner as his own, either on his terms or in an act of dominance.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Matt Rempe has a bit of a secret fetish for public sex. He loves the rush of adrenaline that comes with the risk of being discovered and the satisfaction of getting away with it. He's always on the lookout for secluded spots where he can have a little fun.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Matt Rempe is a confident and experienced lover, having been around the block a few times. He knows all the right moves and how to make a partner feel good, and he's not shy about taking control when he wants to. Despite his big build and sometimes aggressive personality, he's a true gentleman when it comes to intimacy and genuinely cares about his partner's pleasure.

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Matt Rempe's favorite position is anything that involves him being in control, especially when it comes to his partner's pleasure. One of his favorites is missionary with his partner's legs wrapped tightly around his waist, allowing him to hit all the right spots while keeping his partner completely at his mercy. He also loves it when his partner rides him, giving him a chance to touch and taste every part of their body while enjoying the view.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Matt Rempe tends to be a bit on the serious side during intimate moments, but he doesn't take himself too seriously and isn't afraid to be playful and have a bit of fun. He'll inject some humor into their interactions, cracking jokes and making lighthearted comments. He may even goof off a bit, doing something unexpected just to get a laugh out of his partner. He knows how to have a good time and keeps things light and enjoyable, ensuring that both he and his partner are having a great time.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Matt Rempe takes pride in maintaining his appearance, including keeping his body hair well-groomed. He trims and keeps things neat and tidy 'down there,' ensuring that his hair color matches what's on top of his head. He's not obsessive about it, but he doesn't like to look like a sasquatch either. He's more focused on keeping his partner happy and satisfied than worrying about any potential mismatches.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Matt Rempe is a surprisingly romantic partner when it comes to intimacy, despite his aggressive nature on the ice. He's passionate and intense, but he also knows when to slow things down and savor the moment. He loves showering his partner with soft kisses and gentle caresses, taking time to explore their body and learn what makes them tick. He's not afraid to be vulnerable and open with his emotions, showing his softer side in intimate moments. Overall, he's a tender and caring lover who genuinely cares about his partner's pleasure and emotional well-being.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Matt Rempe isn't particularly shy and doesn't really hide anything much from anyone. He does have a pretty high sex drive and will absolutely relieve himself when he needs to, though he doesn't do so extremely often since he usually has a partner willing to help him out. He's not one to do it just for fun, he only really does so when he really needs to and has to get the job done.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Matt Rempe has a few kinks, including a penchant for dirty talk and light spanking. He loves to take control and be the dominant one in the bedroom, and he enjoys a partner who is willing to submit to him and let him take the lead. He's also a fan of a bit of rough play such as biting and scratching, but nothing too extreme. His biggest kink, however, is exhibitionism, the thrill of being watched and the risk of getting caught, drives him absolutely wild.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Matt Rempe is all about mixing things up and being creative with where he has sex. While he doesn't have a single favorite spot, he does have a few locations he tends to lean towards. He enjoys doing it in the woods or other outdoor locations, which allow him to indulge his exhibitionism kink. He also likes taking his partner in unexpected places, like a car, a rooftop, or even a semi-secluded corner at a party. He loves the thrill of being somewhere he shouldn't be and the chance of getting caught.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Matt Rempe is a simple man with pretty straightforward tastes. He's motivated by his partner, plain and simple. He enjoys taking control and loves when his partner enthusiastically reciprocates and participates. The sound of their moans, the feeling of their body against his own, the look in their eyes, all of it makes Matt's blood pump faster and get him going. He gets turned on by a partner who is unabashedly themselves and passionate about what they want.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Matt Rempe has a few hard limits when it comes to intimacy, and one of them is anything that involves pain or harm to his partner. He may be a bit rough in the bedroom, but he never wants to cause his partner any real pain or discomfort. He's also not into anything that involves humiliation, he doesn't like seeing you in distress or pain, even if its for pleasure. He wants to make sure that you are always happy and comfortable, and won't do anything you don't expressly want to do.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Matt Rempe is a true gentleman in everything he does, and that includes oral sex. He loves both giving and receiving, but he especially enjoys going down on a partner. He's talented and knows just how to use his tongue and mouth to drive you wild. He takes his time and makes sure to pay attention to every little cue and reaction, ensuring that your pleasure is his top priority.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Matt's preference is variable, depending on the scenario, but he typically enjoys a good mix of both. If he's feeling particularly energetic, he will go fast and rough, taking control and asserting himself. But if he's feeling more tender and intimate, he will slow down and take things at a more sensual pace, drawing out every moment and making sure you feel every touch he gives. He's versatile and can adapt to whatever the situation calls for.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Matt Rempe is a big fan of quickies, they are a fun and exciting way to sneak in a little fun when time is short. He loves the thrill of doing something a little naughty and risky, and the fact that they are quick and easy makes them even more appealing. He'll often initiate quickies when he's feeling particularly frisky and can't wait to get you in bed, and they're a favorite of his during the playoffs when time is sparse.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Matt Rempe is all about taking risks and trying new things. He's not afraid to push boundaries and explore his partner's desires and fantasies. He's usually up for anything and loves trying new things in the bedroom. He likes to keep things exciting and keep you on your toes, so he's definitely a "yes man" when it comes to experimentation.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Matt Rempe has impressive stamina, especially considering the energy it takes to play a full NHL game. With a combination of natural endurance and conditioning, he can go for quite a while when it comes to intimacy. He can go multiple rounds, each one just as intense as the last, and has been known to last for hours. He loves pushing his limits and will go as long as you do.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Matt Rempe doesn't own many toys, he's more of a hands on kind of guy, but he does have a few that he uses from time to time. He enjoys experimenting with them on his partner and using them to tease and tantalize. He also likes to use them on himself when he's alone and in the mood. His favorites are ones that vibrate; he loves the sensations they bring and likes to use them to explore a partner's erogenous zones.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Matt takes great pleasure in teasing, he likes to keep you wanting more and constantly on the edge. He will start off with slow kisses and soft touches, and slowly build up the intensity, stopping right before you find release. He'll make you beg and plead for it, and when he finally gives in, the satisfaction is heightened because you have to wait for it. He knows exactly what to do to keep you wanting more, and he uses it to his advantage every chance he gets.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Matt is not afraid to let you know how he's feeling and loves to vocalize his pleasure. While he's not as loud as some, he definitely isn't quiet either. He'll moan and gasp as he moves with you, and his breathing will quicken as he gets closer. He also loves to use naughty and dirty words, telling you exactly what he wants to do to you.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Headcanon: Matt Rempe has a secret obsession with lingerie. He loves the way it looks and how it feels against his skin when you wear it, and he often fantasizes about his partner wearing it for him. He has a hidden drawer full of different pieces of lingerie that he's bought over the years, and he secretly hopes one day you'll find it and indulge his fantasies.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Picture in your mind's eye: Matt Rempe is well proportioned, with a large and impressive member. He's not afraid to use it with precision, to give you all the pleasure you could want.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Matt's sex drive is high, he desires both intensity and frequency. He loves getting up close and personal with his partner and craves you constantly. He's easily aroused, even when he's completely exhausted after a game.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Matt tends to pass out pretty quickly after sex, all the energy and adrenaline gone from his body. He usually turns over, pulls you close, and is asleep within minutes. He's a pretty heavy sleeper, but has been known to grumble a bit if he's not comfortable. Don't be surprised if you find him clinging to you while he sleeps.

#matt rempe #matt rempe x reader #matt rempe x you #matt rempe x y/n #matt rempe 73 #mr73 #matt rempe imagine #matt rempe fanfic #ny rangers #new york rangers #nhl imagine #nhl x reader #nhl imagines #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #kink list

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cecilysass · 3 days ago

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Happy Heart (-Shaped Hail) Day! Fic Recs for Rain King for Valentine's Day (or Any Time)

It's funny how in the fandom circles I tend to spend time in now, Rain King seems to be a pretty beloved episode: super shippy, romantic comedy, multiple fanfic tropes made canon.

When it aired, the online fandom's opinion of this episode was pretty mixed. There was a large contingent of fans who really hated it. (I remember this because I am 4,000 years old.) Season 6 had already been perceived as being too light in tone, and we'd already come off of a run of Triangle, Dreamland I and II, and How the Ghosts Stole Christmas. There was a lot of anxiety about the move to LA killing the show's dark and angsty feel.

Me, I always liked Rain King (and Triangle, and Dreamland I and II, and How the Ghosts Stole Christmas). And while I can identify the tone change in season 6, I don't hate it, nor do I think that the show really loses its darkness and angstiness (a lot comes back in the second half of the season). I'm also not someone who believes comedy is a de facto more stupid or less substantial genre than drama or suspense, so I think that's part of it.

Rain King has generated so, so much fanfic, and most specifically fanfic that zeroes in on this little fun fact: THEY CANONICALLY SHARE A MOTEL ROOM BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE ROOM. Obviously many of the fics I'm recommending below are based on that premise. So here are my Valentine's Day recs based on Rain King. (Even though I think it's not actually set at Valentine's? Because the cold open happens months earlier? There's some kind of timeline hijinks, idk.) But anyway, it's the clearest Valentine's episode we have, so happy Valentine's Day.

Free Merlot at the Cool View Motor Court by Sarie_Fairy @sarie-fairy Scully tries a little experiment with Mulder after the reunion that gets rapidly out of hand. This is smutty fun—the kind of high end sexy times this author is really known for. Dating Kings and Queens - Baroness_Blixen @baronessblixen A pure romantic comedy style plot variation on the ending of Rain King. The agents discuss the last time they've been on a date. Turns out it HASN’T been so long for Scully. This is just so charming.

Kroner by DM When Mulder finds out about the “flicked switch speech,” he deals with it in a flirty, somewhat less sentimental way that feels very in character to me. I like a fic with dialogue that feels like it goes a little unexpected.

No Big Deal by dreamingofscully @dreamingofscully Scully offers to help Mulder sleep in the hotel. This is UST, but deliiiiiiightfully so, and heavy on the complex feelings.

Can’t Fight This Feeling by mldrgrl @mldrgrl A sweet and more subtle little feelings reveal after Rain King by an author who does this exact thing well. Also there is slow dancing to 80s music.

Time Enough At Last - baylorrific Absolute textbook classic one room trope, but it stands out for me because I like how it focuses on their mutual discomfort. They’re both so awkward here, even though it’s Mulder POV. I also like how the classic Twilight Zone episode Time Enough At Last is in conversation with what’s happening with the MSR.

There’s No Place Like Kroner - MonikaFileFan @monikafilefan You know what would make a “there’s only one room” Rain King fic extra fun? DIANA. Okay, okay, I admit I wrote this prompt for the exchange, lol, so of course I think it sounds fun. But Monika wrote the actual fic, and you don’t want to miss it.

Pillow Talk - Alelou This is a short piece about a chatty Mulder very carefully putting out feelers in the motel room after the reunion. Sweet and in character.

Land That I Heard Of Once in A Lullabye - leiascully @leiascully In Kroner’s tiny airport, Scully takes stock of where they’ve come from and where they’re going. I love this. It feels especially spot on character-wise for season 6.

All that Lights Upon Us - wonderland @amplifyme This is a very different kind of Rain King fic, part of a series, although it can be read alone. During the events of Rain King they share a first kiss, but this fic is about their conversations afterwards (Mulder and Scully, as well as Mulder and Maggie). Gentle affection, and the process of taking little steps towards one another.

On the Flicking of Switches - SisterSpooky1013 @sisterspooky1013 Mulder initiates an awkward conversation in the motel room after the reunion. SisterSpooky1013 always has her characterization shit together, but I think this is an especially compelling character sketch of season 6 Scully.

Break in the Weather - ATTHS_TWICE @atths--twice Mulder and Scully can’t fly out another night in Kroner, so they kill time by going to a drive-in movie. Honestly, this is just adorable.

Still Raining - Donna When Sheila sends them both a letter a few months later, she alludes to what Scully told her in the bathroom. This raises questions for Mulder.

Stop Me - Gina Rain A little seduction by Mulder in the Kroner motel room. It starts with her feet, if that’s your thing. But it’s not exclusively about feet, if that isn’t lol.

They're SOOOOO MANY great Rain King fics, so drop any I missed in the comments! And if you want to read my Valentine's Day recs last year based on Milagro, they're here.

#xfiles fanfic #x files fanfic #the x files #fox mulder #dana scully #xf fanfic #fic recs #xf season 6 #rain king

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er-osion · 2 days ago

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♡ Valentine’s Day ♡

pairing: [separate] bruce wayne x gn!reader, dick grayson x gn!reader, jason todd x gn!reader, tim drake x gn!reader

summary: headcanons about how the batboys celebrate Valentine’s Day with you.

word count: 841

warnings: none, fluff

⋄∘∗⋅⋆≁≁⋆⋅∗∘⋄

Bruce Wanye

♥︎ Can’t really take the full day off so he spends every minute of his free time with you

♥︎ Is a big fan of bubble baths (believe it or not) and loves preparing a bubble bath for the two of you. He goes all out with it, rose petals in the water, tea candles all around, music playing softly in the background, scented candles out, sweet snacks prepared on a nice charcuterie board, all the stops.

♥︎ Also a big fan of massages. The two of you end up spending a good amount of time giving each other massages. He’s super good at it too, not too rough but hard enough to realse any tension you’re feeling.

♥︎ He’d probably get you one or two gifts, like a teddy bear and some piece of expensive jewlery

♥︎ If the week leading up to Valentine’s day had been really busy for him, he’d rent out a room at the local movie theater and take you out for a few screenings.

♥︎ If there’s time, he gives in and takes you out to a super fancy restaurant. He might complain about leaving the house for a little bit, but he absolutely loves seeing you get dressed up for the dinner, he thinks you look unfairly attractive in your finery.

Dick Grayson

♥︎ He does his best to take Valentine’s day off, or at least get off of patrol early if he can’t. He wants to spend as much time with you as possible on this day for love.

♥︎ He’s honestly down for whatever you want to do. Want to chill at your house? He’s already in his comfy clothes ready for some tv binging. Want to go out to a restaurant? He’s on the phone making reservations.

♥︎ I think he personally likes doing an activity with you, like going to a boardwalk or something. He wants the night to be memorable.

♥︎ Can go a little overboard with the cheesy gifts. Gets you a ton of flowers, to the point you almost run out of vases (I say almost because you learned your lesson years ago with him).

♥︎ He’s absolutely attached to your hip on Valentine’s day. It’s not that he’s not usually super lovey, but the holiday gives him an extra reason to be all over you

♥︎ Honestly, I feel like he’d originally have some involved (and sensual) evening planned for the two of you, but ends up conked out in your bed curling into your side with Hayley snuggling between the two of you, but you’re not complaining because it’s a sweet way to end Valentines day.

Jason Todd

♥︎ Jason cuts patrol short on Valentine’s day. He doesn’t care who he has to bribe to do it, and he’s always successful.

♥︎ Prefers spending Valentine's day inside, just an intimate day that no one can disrupt.

♥︎ Cooks the two of you an elaborate dinner, probably pasta, with a beautiful dessert to end it. He doesn’t make you help unless you want to, so long as you’re keeping him company in the kitchen, he’s happy

♥︎ It’s not that he’s unaffectionate the rest of the year, but sometimes he worries he isn’t clear enough about how much he loves and appreciates you. Thus, Valentine’s day gives him the excuse to be a little more cheesy than he’d normally be.

♥︎ One of his favorite things to do with you at home is to binge watch tv with a glass of wine, specifically reality tv shows.

♥︎ Gets you a decent bouquet of your favorite flowers, a box of chocolates, and a gift of some sort of trinket or article of clothing that you’d been wanting for a few weeks.

Tim Drake

♥︎ To be honest, I think with his absolutely packed schedule, Tim would forget about Valentine’s day.

♥︎ He feels absolutely awful when he realizes he’s forgotten but you’ve been together for a while now so you know not to take it personally.

♥︎ In anticipation of this situation, Tim spends the week leading up to Valentine’s day making small little romantic gestures in the spirit of the holiday. From taking you out to a nice restaurant, having flowers delivered to your workplace, or getting you little gifts, he does everything he can to give you Valentine’s day for an entire week.

♥︎ Even though he does all of this, he still ends up feeling immensely guilty about missing the actual holiday, so he takes the following weekend off so the two of you can go on a mini vacation.

♥︎ He lets you choose the vacation place and then he books a nice airbnb or luxury hotel and the two of you enjoy a nice but short getaway

♥︎ Tim personally doesn’t put all that much emphasis on Valentine’s day, but if the holiday is important to you, he does his best to make it special for you, to show you that he appreciates you and is attentive to your desires.

#bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne headcanon #dick grayson x reader #dick grayson headcanon #jason todd x reader #jason todd headcanon #tim drake x reader #tim drake headcanon #dc x reader #x reader #x you #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #dc comics #dc headcanon #dc fluff #valentines day

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raptinsound · 2 days ago

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Just professing my love for Stolitz <3

What better time than Valentine’s Day to admit outwardly how absolutely SMITTEN I am with Stolitz!! AACK.

A ramble under the cut, just because.

I’ve been watching Helluva Boss off and on from the sidelines since the release of the pilot back in 2019… Blitz and Stolas always captured my attention, but I was never captivated enough to watch the show devotedly. That is…until the second half of season 2 HIT ME LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN OF EMOTION. The advancing storyline between Blitz and Stolas became too irresistible and has now completely drawn me in. I’ve been in a spiral of hyper-fixation since November, and I officially can’t get enough of them! I haven’t fallen this hard for a ship since Killugon (from HxH), which is saying A LOT considering I’ve been loving those two endlessly since 2014 without much reprieve. Needless to say, I don’t wear my shipping heart on my sleeve. It really takes a special pairing to make me SWOON this much. And HERE WE ARE with Stolitz. These two wonderfully complicated men!! I just can’t even. I’ve been eating up all the wonderful fan content and even coming out of video editing-retirement to work on my own Stolitz video that I hope to finish by the end of the month. I just couldn’t stay idle on the sidelines a moment longer. These demons have taken over my life in the best way!!

Here's a random list of things I’m hoping to see in the upcoming shorts/seasons:

-A love confession (obvs) (From Blitz FIRST!) -Seeing Blitz, Stolas, Loona, and Via as a happy family (hopefully the end game scenario...) -Via finally learning about/understanding the marital abuse her father suffered over the years and realizing that Stolas loving Blitz has never/will never reduce his love for her as her father. Also, Via learning that Blitz truly cares about Stolas and wants the best for her too.

-Blitz going to GREAT LENGTHS to get on Via’s good side and get her to finally talk with her father. -Stolas finding out about all of Blitz’s trauma and providing comfort/reassurance (making Blitz realize that he deserves love). -Stolas realizing that he DID belittle Blitz on multiple occasions in the past and apologizing for it.

-Stolas coming to terms with the fact that he was living in a fantasy before his banishment, but after experiencing the real world and seeing Blitz for who he truly is, finds himself falling even harder for the unromanticized, tangible version of him.

-Blitz having a run in with his dad and finally standing up to him. Maybe have Stolas tell him off? -More flashbacks of Blitz’s mom. -Maybe learn about Stolas’s mom? Who was she? Where did she go?

-More scenes with Barbie! -Blitz getting Stolas some plants, or Stolas just having plants around Blitz’s apartment. -More Stolas laughing at Blitz’s jokes.

-Blitz and Stolas doing more mundanely cute, domestic shit as “roommates,” not realizing how they’ve somehow bypassed several steps in their relationship and moved right along to long term, live-in boyfriends.

Some of these might be unrealistic, but a girl can dream, right?

#helluva boss #Stolas #Blitz #Blitzo #Stolitz #I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

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breakyourrxles · 2 days ago

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❥between two breaths (m) | 𝟙𝟞

𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

↳ Sitting on the cusp of an irreversible decision, you effectively disappear, but your plans of doing so are thwarted by a couple of unexpected visitors showing up on your doorstep.

kim sunwoo x fem!reader (side lee juyeon x reader) — idol!sunwoo, fan/trainee!reader. forced proximity, forbidden love, friends to lovers, angst, slow burn, idolverse-typical themes regarding; dating, image, public perception, etc. happy ending, plot-heavy!! reader thinks she's nonchalant about it but she rly isn't. smut. [7,4k wc ongoing] cws: heavy themes of wanting-but-can't-having, mild jealousy, explicit sexual content, a little alcohol consumption, dancing on the edge of career suicide, poor decision making because of The Wanting.

❥ masterlist | ao3

Thankfully, before the burden drives you mad, Woori's lips part slowly—no words spoken at first—and then eventually she says with the firmest resolution: "Are you insane?"

Upon returning to Seoul, you begin biding your time.

Emotions were running high when you said those words, and though they felt utterly truthful in the moment, you know yourself well enough to acknowledge the fact that they cannot simply be taken at face value, as they are. Not after that, not after everything you had only just come to discover.

Two days before MVNE's comeback showcase, you all but disappear.

An avalanche of calls, text messages and emails begin to cascade sooner than you had really anticipated. Suppose you thought it might take longer for people to realize that your being gone is not just a short skip off to the local cafe or the convenience store across the street. The majority of your belongings still reside in the dorm room that you've done your best to make your home—but the essentials are gone, and it is obvious enough to anyone with a mind to notice.

No time is wasted from the company's side, and with a cup of coffee in hand, you laugh to yourself as you read over the announcement of your alleged 'illness.'

They don't have any information about your whereabouts or the reasoning behind all of this, so they must err on the side of assuming that no conclusion on the matter is going to be reached in time for the showcase. You come to learn that you have 'flu-like symptoms' and your 'worsening condition' is of the utmost importance to all of them. Thus, you will be sitting out of MVNE promotions indefinitely, and further updates will be communicated at a later point in time.

Rimi's place doesn't feel as soulless now as it did the first time you ventured here.

The home is yours for as long as you need it, with Rimi off in Japan tending to business of her own. It is an excellent getaway spot that you could really only dream of in the event of being a runaway idol unsure of the future of your own career. You'll owe the company a substantial sum of money should you wish to terminate your contract early, you'll let down the rest of the girls, and ultimately; you'll also have failed yourself.

All of this weighs heavily on you, each point to be taken into careful consideration. The money is less of a concern, but the rest of your members are not deserving of as much of a tumultuous debut as they have already ended up in, and regardless of the bumps that have come to pass, success still awaits on the horizon; just out of reach, but close enough that you can see it.

What more could you have really asked for? This sort of debut, in this sort of group is the kind of thing that all aspiring idols pray about.

And instead, you are here in Pyeongchang-dong running away from it.

It has been hours since you last looked at your phone, knowing what awaits you there. You wonder if Sunwoo has heard yet—almost certainly he has now with the announcement having gone out—and if anyone knows it's fictitious, it's him.

Realistically, you know you cannot hide forever, and this point is driven home by the loud and untimely sound of someone at the front buzzing in from the intercom.

The sound of it startles you and nearly has you spilling hot liquid all over yourself, but you manage to gather yourself enough to not have to walk away from this with burn marks to accompany whatever humiliation you may face. Still, you turn and stare off towards a door that you cannot quite see from the couch that you've sat on another time before.

Any of Rimi's friends should know that she is not here, which unfortunately means that any number of yours know that you are.

Terribly unlucky, but whoever has come all this way is at least owed a conversation on the matter. You cannot run away from this forever, and eventually, the documents will need to be signed should that be the decision that you ultimately come to.

By the time your feet hit the cool marble of the floor, the buzzer is already sounding off again. This time, it is longer; less careful and brief in its alarming. Whoever is waiting on the other side of it has already grown tired of having done so, and through their only line of communication, urging you to hurry up and get this over with.

You rush over to the door, turn on the screen for the camera, and find a face that you had not at all been expecting to find staring back.

The gate crawls back against its track, the front door unlocks, and in only a few seconds time Woori has crossed the path and stands perched up in the doorway right in front of you.

Once the door has shut behind her, she only stares at you. A sort of incredulous look marks her features. Anger, disappointment, sadness… But most of all; concern.

"What's going on?" she asks, words laden with a breathless sigh as if she walked herself the whole way here. You recognize it for precisely what it is, however; a choking worry that like so many other things, this is one that is completely out of her control.

It's too late for this. Too late for all of the things that need to be said, to be said. Still, they must. Finally, the time has come where the weight of all of this can finally be relieved for better or for worse. A suicidal notion of freedom making you feel weightless in the face of any potentially disastrous outcome that awaits.

"We should talk," you say. The truth of it all resting in wait on your tongue. "For real, this time."

You tell Woori everything.

All of it, from the very beginning. You retell the history of how your friendship with Sunwoo began, how it blossomed into something you could have never anticipated, and how he was the one that not only told you about auditions opening up, but pushed you to swallow your reluctance and self-doubt to enter try-outs for yourself.

As you do so, you catch yourself reminiscing in it all as if it's a story about a person that you only vaguely know, not a recounting of your own life as you have lived it. In so many ways, it does not feel as though it is your story to tell. This is the story of another person, someone who perhaps once was you, but has long since splintered off into a person that you no longer see, much less recognize.

Woori holds a shallow glass of wine in her hand as you speak, but you're not sure that she ever sips from it. Her attention is wholly locked on you as you go over every minute detail of everything leading up until this very moment, as it all stands now.

You tell her about Juyeon, you tell her about Rimi and Kokoro, you tell her about Eric. You tell her about Sunwoo—completely truthful and in its entirety.

Heaviest of all, you tell her about the company.

When you finish, there is nothing left inside of you beyond a heavy sigh. The weight of so many lies, so much deception finally feels as though it has been lifted from you. It is something that you are unsure you can bear any longer, and so, you tell her that, too.

Picking at the skin around your nails to the point that it almost bleeds, you look down at the damage you have done. Your lips thin into a shape that so desperately wishes it could be a smile and you say, "So, that's everything. Honestly, this time." Eyes slowly creeping back up to find hers, you nod once and add, "Of course, I understand if you want me to withdraw from the group. I knew that it would probably come to this once it reached this point. It's something I'm willing to do quietly for the best of the rest of the members."

Woori stares at you in silence for a while, and for the most part, her feelings are utterly indecipherable. You do your best to try to pick out pieces of her thoughts that may be lingering on her features. A master of her craft, a completely impossible task.

Thankfully, before the burden drives you mad, Woori's lips part slowly—no words spoken at first—and then eventually she says with the firmest resolution: "Are you insane?"

Your face drops. "In… In what way?"

"All of them, really," she says. Her arms jostle around her a bit and the untouched wine in her glass sloshes about as she demonstrates her exasperation. "But what I'm referring to specifically this time is about the leaving the group thing. Are you insane? Why would I want you to leave the group over something like this? Might I remind you, this entire time all I have ever been trying to do is minimize that being a potential outcome." Woori leans forward across the couch, squints at you and continues on to say, "You really think I believed that it was just going to be a one-and-done, never gonna happen again and certainly not going to escalate, thing? Of course I knew it was going to continue! I just wanted you to trust me enough to help you… Well, not end up here, I guess."

Your heart sinks hearing the words, and the truth of the matter is that the writing has always been on the wall. Woori's actions line up perfectly in relation to the words that she's saying now; you've never had a reason not to trust her beyond your own unwillingness and terror. You didn't trust her, and you wouldn't trust Sunwoo, either. Two people who have done nothing but extend themselves in an effort to minimize the impact of a decision that you were always going to make.

"Didn't really anticipate you going all scorched earth with Juyeon, though," she adds.

Groaning, you toss yourself back against the couch. "It wasn't exactly thought-out."

"And of course, it didn't scorch the earth, either. That guy really is just absolutely crazy about you."

Looking up towards the ceiling, you give time for the concept of that to truly wash over you. It feels new and old simultaneously and in ways that you find you don't quite have the means to articulate. Something you have known forever and yet, are only just discovering.

"I think he always has been."

"Obviously," Woori says, your obliviousness punctuated by her tone. "He wanted you to audition because he both wanted you to debut and because he wanted to close the otherwise insurmountable distance that would always stand between the two of you. Surely you understand that now."

"That night in Germany… I told him I wanted to quit, that I didn't want to do this anymore. I don't know why but I thought he'd be happy about it. I expected him to be glad because if one of us isn't doing this anymore then at least it's only one person's career that's hanging in the balance, you know?"

Cocking her head slightly, Woori looks at you with a sort of knowing grin pressed into her lips and she says, "But he wasn't happy, was he?"

Slightly shaking your head, you recall the moment as if even now you cannot help but disbelieve the way that it had all played out. "Nope, not at all. Not even a little bit."

"If the cost of being with you means sinking your career then it's not worth it to him," she reasons. To her, you realize, this is all the most simplistic thing in the world. "He'd rather watch from afar and weather the treacherous storm of his feelings forever. Sunwoo isn't a bad guy, you should give him a little bit more credit than that. You've wanted this for years; you've trained and auditioned, suffered and overcome the sort of breakneck-paced schedule from debut to now that a lot of people would not even survive, much less thrive in. You thrive. He's not going to let you throw it away when all it means is that you still have to suck face in the privacy of unmarked cars and hotel rooms. It's not like it would really make that much of a difference to your lives. The two of you will never be holding hands walking down the street."

Your head flops lifelessly to the side so that you can look at Woori once more and you say, "And the rest of MVNE? This is all going to become a situation now. I've disappeared and they're going to start investigating. They're going to find out, it's no longer a matter of if, but when. So, what's going to happen when the meeting is called and they motion for my withdrawal?"

"Then we fight it, stupid." Woori squints at you like she doesn't understand why you're asking the question, at all. "Groups have done it before. If they want to play stupid games then they can win all of the stupid prizes they could ever ask for, and we have nine more where you came from."

The smile that creeps up on your face precludes the tears that otherwise threaten to come. Instead, Woori scoots across the expensive furniture and wraps her strong arms around you in an embrace that you have needed to feel from her for a long, long time.

She has always been on your side, you only needed to allow her to be.

With a sniffle and the nonchalant wiping of her hand across her eye, Woori flashes you a smile and adds in: "By the way, I have something to confess, myself. You have to promise you won't be mad, though."

Reluctantly, you agree to her terms.

Digging her phone out of her bag, she swipes and taps across the screen for a moment before simply setting it down into her lap and staring at you with a wide and fairly unnerving smirk.

"Wha—"

Before you can get the question out, a loud chime resonates through the entirety of the home. It frightens you, first and foremost, unfamiliar with the intricacies of a place of this magnitude, before eventually coming to realize that you suppose it must be the doorbell.

Why a house with a gate, buzzer and security at the front of the neighborhood needs a doorbell, you may never really know.

Woori appears unperturbed by this which, when coupled with her alluding statement prior, leads you to believe that whatever—or whoever—this is, is a concoction of her own making. Your being here is not meant to be a reunion of any kind, and so it is not at all ideal that more people come to learn of the fact that you are here. Unfortunately, whoever it is is already here, and so you have no other choice than to face what awaits you.

And if your meeting with her today has taught you anything, it is that you have no reason not to trust her.

Making your way down the hall, you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror hung against the wall. You look terrible; barely slept, barely eaten, barely cared for yourself and especially not your appearance in the last couple of days leading up to your eventual vanishing. It's not a great time for visitors, but maybe that's just the idol in you talking.

You don't turn the security screen on before opening the door. Just another small signal of your willingness to let go.

The door pulls open slowly, and suppose you didn't know what to expect once you reached this foyer; only that this most certainly wasn't it.

"Crazy person delivery," Sunwoo says. "You thought you could disappear to Pyeongchang-dong and I just wouldn't find out about it? Yeah right!"

Stunlocked, Sunwoo gently pushes his way inside and before the door even has a chance to close, you hear Woori shouting from the living room. "Don't take credit for the fact that you're here! I told you to come! You're not a detective!"

Sunwoo rolls his eyes, leans in towards you and whispers, "Romance is dead, huh? Can't even pretend I tracked you down out of pure adoration and spite anymore." He turns his head back towards where the voice had come and then shouts, "You can't talk to me like that! I'm your senior!" Then, back towards you he goes. He says, "I love pulling that out of a hat when I need it, works every time."

Eyes wide and still standing in silence, you stare at Sunwoo as if you expect the vision of him to dissipate any moment now. He kicks his shoes off and pulls the hoodie over his head to hang up by the door. His hair is a mess, but he's wearing make-up. Has he just come from a schedule? How did he get here? You have a lot of questions but no idea where to start.

Then Woori arrives at the entryway, flashes you a smile, and begins gathering her things.

This is enough to break you from your trance. Your sights dart from her, to Sunwoo, back to her and as she pulls on her shoes you say, "Wait, you're leaving?"

"Yeah! I can't stay here, it'll be a much bigger situation if we both go off the grid, don't you think? Besides, I have to talk to the girls, we need a game plan going forward."

"You're leaving him here? With me?"

Woori flashes you a sort of condescending look and then says, "Oh yeah, I'm sure you're really bummed about that."

Glancing back towards Sunwoo, he is idly meandering around the home and taking in the sights. As far as you can tell, his attention is so far from the conversation you are having with your bandmate and in fact, he appears far too content for how absurd this whole thing has now become.

"Wait! How is he getting back?" you ask.

Pausing, Woori appears as though she considers the question for all but a second, shrugs, and says, "I don't know. Ask him."

"How are you getting back!?"

Sunwoo's head snaps towards you, as if he is not anticipating being addressed at all. "Manager? How else would I get anywhere?"

Closing your eyes, you press the heel of your palms hard into them in hopes that at some point, you will no longer feel like the most logical person in the room.

"Anyway, I'm going," Woori announces, the door in front of her already ajar. "I don't know if it's wise to text from now until you're back home, so stay safe and you're welcome back whenever you're ready. I would say don't do anything stupid but…" Her attention draws towards Sunwoo specifically. "He's already here and you already did, so. There's that."

Sunwoo's face twists mockingly. "Very funny!"

"See you!"

The door shuts, Woori disappears behind it, and now only you and Sunwoo remain in the quiet, empty liminality of a Pyeongchang-dong mansion.

In the privacy now allotted to you, the hours pass by through simple, affectionate touches and light kisses that linger on your skin long after the lips that left them have departed.

As the time dwindles, however, you are forced to come to terms with your lack of planning as far as being in this space is concerned. Rimi does not live here full-time—something you have known—but once the door to the refrigerator and numerous kitchen cabinets are opened, the realization becomes just that much more stark.

There is enough stress on your shoulders already, the weight of everything that follows you even this far away from the heart of it all. A hiccup such as this one feels insurmountable when faced with all the rest, but when you look at Sunwoo and his sort of effortless whimsy in spite of it, a small bit of the struggle is indeed chipped away.

Without a word, food arrives at the doorstep and you only become aware of it when the driver buzzes in from the driveway. Sunwoo quickly scrambles to his feet with a big smile and a brief glance back at you that insists for you to acknowledge that he has done a good job; he has, he always does, and that is sort of why you have landed yourself in this predicament to begin with.

"When's the last time we've shared a meal?" Sunwoo asks through a mouthful of noodles, "It has to be before you became a trainee, right?"

"There's the cafe, or that time we went across the street to the store after you were out drinking with the guys."

He shakes his head. "That doesn't count. Actually, that time I took you out after Idol Radio. That counts. Our first foray into what it might be like going forward."

"How could I have forgotten about that?"

Bent in half and leaning against the kitchen island, Sunwoo shoots a glance at you and says, "Because you were too busy stressing yourself into an early grave to even enjoy it, probably."

Perhaps there is some truth to that.

"At the very least," he adds, "This scenario is a little too life-altering to not remember it, so I have that going for me."

"I never even got around to asking Woori how she figured out where I was…" You take a bite out of a dumpling, grimace at its bizarre texture, and let it fall from your fingers back into the plastic container from which it came. "I probably have to start coming to terms with the fact that I'm not even half as clever as I think I am."

"Yeah, it would be a good time for that. Also, it's not hard to figure that out. She's friendly enough with the other guys to follow the breadcrumbs back to your friend."

You look at him with narrow eyes. "And then she decided it was a good idea to tell you."

"It was a good idea, because I'm probably the only person who can talk you down from making a truly insane career decision." Finishing his bite, Sunwoo pushes the cartons of food in front of him away, turns to give you his full attention and leads his thoughts with an already exhausted sigh. He says, "It's kind of funny looking back, because you used to be the one with your head screwed on right when it came to all of this, not me. I mean, I was just going along with it because really, you were right. But now…?"

A small pause follows as he thinks through his next step, but he arrives at it fairly quickly.

"Bit of an overcorrection, don't ya think?"

What little appetite you had originally leaves you entirely then. This conversation—a conversation that is so long overdue—is one that you knew would be rearing its ugly and uncomfortable head from the moment you saw Sunwoo walking in through that door. More realistically, however, it has been needed for months; since the first kiss, since all of the others after it, since that night in your dorm and since Sunwoo's overarching and unending willingness to bear all to you and receive little-to-nothing in return.

But especially since that night abroad.

The breath you take is an obvious one, and Sunwoo's eyes never leave you all the while. He grants you the quiet space you ask from him without a single word uttered, merely watching and listening for you to finally be willing to take this quest on and move forward with whatever your choice may be.

You know what you want, but can you have it?

With a fingertip idly tapping into the black marble countertop, your lips part to speak despite the way they feel utterly lost in your throat.

And just before you manage a single word, Sunwoo stretches forward and takes your fidgeting hand into his, gently pulling you away and out of the kitchen.

"Let's get cozy," he says. "Being surrounded by knives is no way to navigate this sort of thing. Ya know, just in case I say something that doesn't land as I might have hoped it would."

"You think I'm going to stab you."

"I think it'd solve, like, most of your problems! Though it may raise a whole mess of other ones."

It takes much longer than anticipated to get the intricacies of the fireplace figured out, but once the flame comes to life, the tension melts and drains from your bones.

Sunwoo can't sit still, not until everything is perfectly in place according to whatever mental imagery he has concocted in his mind. He doesn't say it aloud, nor do you ask, but you know him well enough to understand that there is a particular series of events that must play out; an idea of a scene that exists in the theoretical that plagues the fantastical, dreamy hopeful in ways that you may never truly come to make sense of. A hopeless romantic in every sense of the word, and you have no other option than to allow him to go through the motions until it all comes to fruition.

Thus, pillows and blankets are thrown on the floor into a pile, and with the only thing left in the house being expensive wine, a bottle of that is popped open, too.

You watch him make his way back over to the middle of the living room with two empty wine glasses in one hand and the bottle in another. As usual, a loose hoodie and even looser jeans draped from his body and at a glance to anyone not knowing any better he could pass for someone with no business having the alcohol in hand.

Holding the items up for display, Sunwoo cracks a proud grin and says, "Okay, now we're ready. Romance isn't dead, after all!"

With glasses half-full and the fire quietly crackling ahead, the two of you take a moment to sit together in silence—offering nothing more. No words are spoken, no movements are made to close the physical distance and connect your bodies in any fashion whatsoever. In all truthfulness, you take the time to acknowledge Sunwoo's often overlooked emotional intelligence; always seemingly able to understand precisely what you want and need from him without even needing to utter a word.

Now, he knows that you do not wish to be pressed further for answers. The answers that the both of you seek already sit with you together in this vast, empty room. They will come in due time, and any urgency he could display is ill-suited for the delicacy of the topic at hand.

The first sip of wine you take is a bit longer and stiffer than originally intended to be, but once the harsh bitterness hits your tongue you realize that you're going to need just a little bit more liquid courage than you had hoped in order to finally lay your truth out onto the table.

It is difficult, but Sunwoo deserves this. Both of you do.

Turning to look at him, you hold the glass between both of your hands, cradling it far gently than what is necessary; just like your heart that you've been desperately hoping to shield from harm.

"So, I guess this is the end then," you say to start. Your voice trembles ever so slightly, and for once, you don't bother making an effort to steady it. "Or the beginning, I'm not really sure which it is yet."

"Both," Sunwoo says with a nonchalant shrug. "The end of one thing, the beginning of another. Both things can be true." Looking at you, he scoots himself a bit closer but still does not make physical contact of any kind. "It all depends on what you want, what you're willing to take on. It always has."

"It's going to be a nightmare, you know that."

"Yeah, for a while, but it'll pass. We don't have to go public, you know. That can be a problem for another day."

"I know." You take another sip, this one smaller than the one prior. "I guess I just feel like… It's better to take on the worst of it and just get it over with as quickly as possible, you know?"

"Yes, you're a doomsday-er, I've long since gathered that much." Sunwoo rolls his eyes, finally swaying himself enough to bump your shoulder with his own. He says, "The company situation is going to be bad enough, I'm not going to lie to you. Once they figure out that their little set-up didn't go to plan and that we figured it out and even worse, are moving forward with things…" He pauses, and for what might be the first time, you see the light wash of fear draped across his features. Eventually though, Sunwoo must catch himself in the midst of it all and he forces a smile, saying, "Well, let's just say it won't be the best day either of us have ever had!"

Your eyes fall down to the glass still clutched within your hands, and though your chest is tight and throat stinging with terror; what other options do the two of you have moving forward?

"We…" The word drips from your mouth slowly, bitter and heavy with the sort of vile falsehood that you promised yourself to never succumb to moving forward. It is a last ditch effort now—the final option—the only remaining time that the two of you have to cut your losses and try to move on with your hearts merely functionally intact. "We… Don't have to do this. If it's too hard, too much trouble. There's no glory in forcing it if it's the wrong choice."

Slowly turning to look at you, Sunwoo waits patiently for your eyes to drag upwards to meet him. What is there for you, however, is not a sadness or concern that you might have come to expect. Instead, a small smile tugs at a corner of his lips—at odds with the words you have just said before. What you find there is a truth that you realize you have been exerting far too much effort into ignoring, and now, that wall is suddenly crumbling away.

Sunwoo huffs a laugh out from under his breath, rolls his eyes and says, "You're ridiculous, you know that? Are you like, being obtuse on purpose, or something? Of course we have to do this…" Turning back to face the warm, ambient flicker of the fire, Sunwoo shakes his head gently as if still in disbelief of your unwillingness to accept what is now an unshakably obvious fact to the both of you.

"I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you for a while, which you have gone to impressive lengths to somehow not notice. So, yeah, we kind of do have to do this now, because it's too late and we're in too deep to just go on pretending it isn't what it is." His head falls back lazily, face tilted up towards the ceiling, clearly exhausted by your obliviousness. Fair enough. He says, "And I don't know if you realize this yet, but you're in love with me, too. If I have to act out this whole confession scene between the both of us just by myself I'm going to put my head in the fireplace. This is utterly excruciating."

A deep sigh rolls out from you, no point in arguing with the point and fighting this any further. "Yeah, I guess unfortunately I am."

"Unfortunately!?"

"Well, my life would certainly be much more carefree if that weren't the case."

"It'll be worth it," Sunwoo says, leaning to the side to rest his head on your shoulder. "They'll have to kill me to keep me away from you at this point, and while they definitely have nasty methods of trying to get what they want, I don't think they're willing to stoop down that low, at least."

Pressing a kiss to the top of his head, you linger in place there and quietly say, "You should go back. It's getting late and it's a long drive."

But to that, Sunwoo hums and says, "No, I don't think I will, actually." His tone is sarcastic, a little comically inclined that you know well enough alludes to something else on his mind that has not yet been spoken of. A stray fingertip finds the skin of your hip from underneath your sweater shortly thereafter, and for as much as he may understand you, in a lot of ways, the same can be said for you about him. "I can go back early in the morning and still make my schedule, I'd rather spend the night here with you."

"We have about five bedrooms to choose from," you say, attempting to play off the way that his insistence makes you feel. "Or we can stay here all night, your choice."

Mulling over his options for only a second of time, Sunwoo nods along with the decision it appears he has made and says, "I want the biggest one you got—with a bathroom! Truly living in the lap of luxury now!"

"Enjoy it while you can, who knows what awaits us in the morning."

Moving to stand and struggling to make it to his feet, Sunwoo groans along with the mere mention of having to return to his typical life. "I know exactly what awaits us in the morning, and it's going to be a nightmare, so let's put a pin in that for the rest of the evening and just… pretend that that isn't the case until we have no other choice but to face it. Deal?"

You nod, accepting the terms. "Deal."

With both of your bodies covered in a light sheen of sweat, Sunwoo—ravenous as he is idealistic—pries himself from your limbs and allows for new air to waft over your heated, sated skin. There is a long silence that follows once heaving chests find a more calmed rhythm, neither of you daring to utter the first word just yet. Perhaps he shares the thought that sits so pertinent in your mind: to enjoy this for what feels like the last time, even if it is not exactly that.

Instead of speaking, Sunwoo rolls to the far end of the bed and takes his phone into hand.

"What are you doing?" Curiosity paired with the strangeness of the action gets the best of you, proving that you no longer have the strength to continue along with the charade. Sunwoo continues typing for a moment without acknowledging your words, but it's not long before his head flops to the side, and a grin tugs at one corner of his lips.

"Telling my manager I'm not coming home tonight."

"I'm sure that will go over well."

He shrugs, slumped against a pile of messed up bedding and pillows. "Doesn't matter if it does or not. I'll make it back in time for schedules and I'll do my job just as well as I always do it. Shouldn't that be what's important? He doesn't want to babysit me any more than I want him to."

"A stern talking-to will be waiting, that's for sure. Running off with me is probably far from what he had been hoping for."

"He has known about us for a while," Sunwoo says, and the tone in his voice alludes to it being a completely inconsequential matter in ways that are not at all in line with the reality either of you are facing. Your face contorts into something that you can only imagine being read as horrified, and he huffs out a laugh as a result. "I mean, the guy has worked with me for a long time, and has been involved in enough of our passing matters to not be blind to the obvious writing on the wall. Yeah, it's not ideal the way this has all turned out but… Oh well!"

Laid out against the mattress, your eyes drift from Sunwoo and instead settle onto the plain vastness of the high ceiling above. There is a kind of tranquility that has found its way nestled into your bones when the topic comes up now, and you wonder how much of that is your acceptance of there being no good or easy way out of this swamp.

Those final two words ring through your ears repeatedly long after they leave his lips: Oh well. What's done is done, and as far as Sunwoo is concerned there is little point in wallowing on the matter.

"Will you quit if I do?" you ask.

There is no thought behind the question when you pose it to him, a passing thought with no particular start or end point in mind. You don't look at him once it leaves your lips, waiting once again in silence for an answer that you feel confident in already knowing.

And making oneself smaller for love is hardly any kind of love, at all.

After a few beats of no response, you hear Sunwoo pull in a breath. "No, I won't," he says. "And neither will you. You're not a quitter, you've made it this far. If they want to make the worst choice they could make and cut your contract for this then that's on them, but don't give them the easy way out. Make them do it."

"And if they do?"

"They won't." Rolling onto his side, Sunwoo slings an arm over your chest and uses the leverage it gives him to shorten the distance between the two of you. He says, "MVNE are too successful and you're already a year in. I mean, sure, groups have had member losses early—I should know—but they'd be foolish and taking a huge risk chopping the line-up like this right now. They'd have to lie about the reason and then cut you a fat check for you to keep your mouth shut about it, and the last thing any company wants to do is pay out an idol. Don't worry about it, you're going to be fine."

Turning to look at him again, your eyes meet his and he looks up at you with the sort of joyful, boyish exuberance that he always carries. The kind that betrays the severity of any given situation, the kind that you have learned to very much appreciate.

It all sort of melts away.

"Woori said she and the girls are going to figure out a plan, just in case," you say through a heavy sigh. "So, when I go back, I suppose I'll move forward with them on my side."

"You were never even half as alone as you thought you were," Sunwoo says. A hand of his finds yours, interlocking your fingers as yet another reminder of the fact. "You're going to get through this, and who knows, maybe your mysterious illness will clear up in time for your comeback showcase, too."

Narrowing your eyes, you say, "Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Damn right I would! I've seen the outfits sitting in the fitting rooms, sheesh."

Playfully nudging an elbow into him does little to deter his advances, and you suppose that's just another thing about Sunwoo that you like, too.

Overhead, the bright lighting from the enormous bathroom mirror illuminates your surroundings. As you stare at yourself in the reflection, you cannot help but think of how similar it is to the many times you have been seated for poking and primping from any number of stylists. Always in preparation. Not unlike now.

Sunwoo's alarm begins to sound off just beyond the open door.

This too feels familiar. The same adrenaline that courses through your veins as you stand backstage, waiting for the staff to give the final signal for you and your members to go on stage, begins to flow through you. It is muted, there is no stage and no performance to give, but the feelings of anticipation and hopefulness drive you all the same. In the other room, you can hear Sunwoo roll himself out from between the sheets with a semi-confused groan—likely due to your not being there beside him—but seems to pass quickly in favor of the ticking clock.

Gathering your courage, you do your best to settle your nerves. The bathroom is spacious but it only requires a handful of steps to lead back into the darkness of the room. He hasn't bothered with a light and you don't particularly blame him; it's too early in the morning, and he hadn't brought a whole lot with him to begin with.

"Sunwoo," you say, still shrouded in what is mostly darkness from his own perspective. From where Sunwoo stands, there is light emptying in from a place behind you, but it offers him little as far as deciphering your features is concerned.

Seated and slumped at the edge of the bed with wild hair and a shirt that has only begun being pulled onto his limbs, Sunwoo turns slightly to at least acknowledge that you've spoken to him, though his back faces you. "Yeah? You're up already…" His voice is heavy and groggy, still laden with the sleep that has only just left him. "Why're you up?"

You've been busy while he has slept.

Reaching up, your hand finds the lightswitch and flickers it on. Sunwoo winces at the intrusion to his senses, and you take his temporary blindness as an opportunity to fully enter the room and make your way to the destination in mind. It isn't the bed, as you figure he might think. Instead, you stand perched up by the bedroom door.

Next to your already packed belongings.

It takes a few moments for Sunwoo to collect himself and finish pulling on his shirt, but once he does, his head finally turns to locate where you've ended up and his face deadpans with a shocking quickness. His eyes remain glued to the small amount of things you have stationed there; a large backpack, a handbag for a laptop and some other, minor items, and then, they carefully make their way back up to you.

Neither of you speak for a while, and the bizarreness of the silence has you nearly second guessing your decision as a whole. Sunwoo looks at you with a sort of dumbfounded expression, his lips parting ever so slightly as if he wants to speak but doesn't yet have the words to accurately portray his thoughts. You wait longer, lingering in this no matter how uncomfortable it may be, because more than anything you need to hear whatever it is that his most genuine reaction is intended to be.

Then finally, he says it: "You don't have to come with me if you're not ready yet."

Your body has become so accustomed to expecting the worst case scenario that enough tension has built to withstand any kind of impact. It takes far too long for his words to sink in, for his earnestness to wash over you and begin to break down the wall that you have started to construct, but once it does, the breath that leaves you is one that carries all of the worries you've been holding in along with it.

"People might see us together," Sunwoo adds, as if to ensure that you're fully aware of any risks that may come with traversing this immediate future together with him.

"I don't care if you don't," you say with a lazy, somewhat noncommittal shrug, "but I'll stay behind if it's what's best for you."

Sunwoo huffs and quickly brings himself to his feet. The movement is all dangling, tired limbs and his head lazily lolling back and to the side—maybe even an eye roll—too exhausted to engage in the typical, playful lambasting of you, but no intention of allowing this to go unaddressed, either.

He crosses the room, stills in front of you, and just stares. The fatigue is deeply laden all across his face, and the stylists are going to have their work cut out for them once he makes it into that chair. Suppose you're no better off once you step across that threshold, though what waits for you back in that city is far less welcoming than a smudge of eyeliner and a hint of shimmer eyeshadow.

It doesn't really matter right now, though.

Inching towards you, Sunwoo presses a light, chaste kiss against your lips, nudges you with an elbow and then says, "It's a long drive, we should go."

Slinging your bags over your shoulder, you follow Sunwoo. Your heart and trust fully his, but the dread still held inside remains yours, and yours alone.

#sunwoo smut #tbz smut #the boyz smut #sunwoo x reader #sunwoo imagines #sunwoo scenarios #tbz x reader #tbz imagines #tbz scenarios #the boyz x reader #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop smut

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nmhdreamscape · 2 days ago

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creeping doubt ✧ l.dh (valentine's gift series)

pairing | idol!haechan x gender-neutral!reader

content | angst, hurt and comfort

word count | 698

request | haechan + 8

notes | i haven't written angst in a LONG time, hope it's okay!

sitting on your phone doomscrolling on twitter before bed probably wasn’t the brightest idea you had, but how else were you meant to entertain yourself while your boyfriend was in the shower. haechan had just come back from an awards show and had quickly jumped into the shower before he would hop into bed with you.

it had started off okay, mainly silly memes and fan-taken photos from the show. though it seemed once the algorithm ran out of those to show you, it began to show you some other things. clips of small interactions between haechan and some female idols began to pop up. that didn’t bother you. what did was the comments that came along with some of them. how good the two of them looked together. how they were well suited to each other. how they would be such a cute couple. how that was someone he deserved to be with.

you couldn’t seem to tear your eyes away, even as they began to well up with tears. you were so focused on what was on the screen in front of you, you didn’t even hear your boyfriend exit the shower.

haechan had stepped out, dressed in his pajamas, ready to cuddle with you after a long night of work. however, he immediately picked up that the atmosphere in the room was off. he watched as you continued scrolling on your phone, not really paying him any attention. he cautiously sat down next to you, noticing as a tear made its way down your cheek to land on your phone screen.

“baby, what’s wrong?” he asked quietly, peering closer to try and read your expression better. your head shot up quickly when you were alerted to his presence, quickly wiping away your tears. you set your phone down next to him, leaning over to press a quick peck on his cheek.

“it’s nothing, i’m fine.” you reassured, giving him a weak smile. he gave you a look of scepticism in return.

“clearly you’re not fine if you’re crying.” he deadpanned, giving you a silly look to try and get a genuine smile from you. that’s when he noticed your phone screen still illuminated. he quickly snatched your phone before you could realise, wanting to see just what could have made you so upset. any joy in his expression quickly faded as he began to read what you had just been reading. you sat there in silence, staring down at your lap as time seemed to drag on.

“why are you looking at that kind of stuff?” haechan asked in disbelief, slightly angry that you would even been looking at this kind of thing. you felt tears beginning to form once again, a small sniffle being the only thing breaking the silence between you. haechan’s expression softened at the noise, feeling guilty that you had been sat there crying because of him, even if it was not him directly.

“these people don’t know me. they don’t know what i like or what i’m looking for. you make me want to do better. be better. no one has ever made me feel like that, and i don’t think anyone else ever will.” he reassured, grabbing both of your hands tightly. you slowly lifted your head up to look at him, only to be met with the most pure expression of sincerity lingering behind his eyes.

that look alone was enough to make the dam behind your eyes break, tears falling rapidly as you finally let yourself let out the sobs you didn’t even know you had been holding back. haechan quickly reached forward to pull you into his arms, his embrace comforting you as he slowly stroked your hair. he let you cry for a little, encouraging you to let it all out.

“don’t let their stupid, borderline delusional comments get to you. i’m the one who knows what i want, and what i want is you, no one else.” he said quietly before leaning down to press a kiss to the top of your head. he always seemed to know just what to do to reassure you, no matter how silly you thought you were being.

valentine's gift masterlist

#nct dream #nct dream x reader #haechan x reader #haechan #nct dream angst #haechan angst #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 angst #haechan scenarios #haechan imagines

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romeoandjulietyouwish · 3 days ago

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weather the storm

this is part of the Valentine's Day Exchange @outsiders-gift-exchanges. My valentine is @dreaming-mousey, I hope you enjoy!

Read on AO3

Summary: Two-Bit is home alone when a battered Johnny Cade shows up at the door. Two-Bit makes sure he knows the kid knows just how loved he is.

Summer in Tulsa was almost unbearable. The heat stuck to everything like molasses. No cool wind to be found.

Two-Bit was home, sprawled out on the couch. The fan whirred above him. It clicked with every turn. He inhaled breaths of thick air.

Two-Bit dropped a hand over his eyes. His head hurt something awful, probably because he hadn’t had enough alcohol and was starting to get a hangover. He mentally cursed himself for not swinging by Darry’s to grab a beer. And with his sister becoming a teenager, his mom refused to have any alcohol in the house. Two-Bit agreed with that, he didn’t want her turning out anything like him. He didn't want her to feel the itch he felt when he saw a bottle.

Two-Bit was just about to cut his losses and try to sleep it off, when the door opened. Two-Bit almost didn’t notice the sound of the door opening, under the fan's clicking, it was almost inaudible. The floorboard creaked just loud enough to alert him.

Two-Bit sighed and pushed himself up to see over the back of the couch. He thought it was gonna be his ma or sister, but it wasn't. Johnny Cade was standing in the entryway.

The kid looked deathly pale, whole body shaking. When he caught Two-Bit’s eye, Johnny grasped behind him for the door handle as though wanting to leave.

Two-Bit stood up and put a gentle hand out towards his friend. Johnny was a jack rabbit about to spring away. He tried to keep his voice as gentle as possible, “Johnny, it’s alright. You okay?”

Johnny turned back to Two-Bit like he was facing the executioner. As Two-Bit padded closer to him, he saw the kid sporting bruises and cuts all over his face. He was holding his wrist to his chest protectively. He looked close to tears. There was blood dripping from his nose.

Two-Bit sighed softly, “Come on, Johnnykid.” Johnny was clearly frightened but he’d sought shelter with Two-Bit and that meant everything. He trusted Two to keep him safe. “It’s okay.” It felt like he was talking to a frightened animal. Two-Bit offered Johnny a hand.

Johnny looked at it for a long moment. “Is your mama home?” The question was asked not with hope, but with fear. Two-Bit’s heart clenched. It was so unfair that Two-Bit had a loving family when Johnny had no one. No, Two thought, he has me.

“Nah,” Two-Bit shook his head. “She’s at work, my sister’s at a friend’s house. It’s just you and me here.”

Johnny swallowed thickly and put his hand in Two-Bit’s. With that permission given, Two-Bit gently guided Johnny up the stairs to his bedroom. Usually when Johnny stayed over, he slept on the couch, but tonight Two-Bit knew Johnny’d feel safer close to him.

He liked places to hide.

Two-Bit closed the door behind them and pulled the curtains closed. They were cocooned in the small bedroom. Johnny's shoulders slumped.

The kid sat down on the floor by the bed, curling his knees to his chest. Two-Bit plopped down beside him and reached underneath the bed for his makeshift first aid kit. It was there only for Johnny.

As gently as he could, Two-Bit pulled Johnny’s wrist away from his chest and started to look it over. Johnny was silent as Two-Bit accessed him. Two-Bit wasn’t as good at this as Darry, but he was a passable medic when Johnny needed him.

Johnny sniffed quietly, “I don’t think it’s broken. I think I just fell on it wrong.” Johnny’s voice was so soft as though he was scared of breaking the silence.

Two-Bit nodded. “Just ice I think. You can have Darry check on it tomorrow to make sure.”

These nights had been happening more and more. Johnny would come into the house late at night with his face busted and bruises all over him. If Two-Bit’s ma was home, she’d give him something to eat, make him take a shower, and make sure he had plenty of blankets before going to sleep.

Two-Bit was no good at that kind of thing, the best he could do was clean up the blood and give Johnny a quiet place to lay low until he felt safe enough to leave. Maybe that's why Johnny would come to him, because he wouldn't ask questions.

The blood on Johnny's was tacky as it started to dry. Two-Bit smeared it away with a wet cloth, not as gentle as he should have been. But Johnny didn't say anything.

It seemed like Johnny was trying to get even smaller. He ducked his head down and pulled his knees flush to his chest. “Just the same as always,” Johnny murmured. “I didn’t even do anything this time.”

Two-Bit wanted to tell him that Johnny never did anything wrong. The things his parents beat him for were as simple as breathing. Two-Bit wasn’t the responsible one in the group, he wasn’t the best caretaker, but he loved Johnny like a brother. If Johnny asked, Two-Bit would take him under his wing. He’d feed him and make sure he had a bed every night. But Johnny would never ask and Two-Bit would never offer.

“I know,” Two-Bit had a real hard time being gentle, but he always tried with Johnny. God knows that kid didn’t have enough of that in his life. Two-Bit hissed under his breath when he moved Johnny's hair out of his face and found a long gash on the crown of his head.

Two-Bit sighed sadly. “They got you real good this time, kid.”

Johnny swallowed thickly, “Yeah. My ma…she took something. I don’t know what it was.”

“Powder or pill?”

“Powder,” Johnny confirmed. Two-Bit buzzed his lips. He didn’t envy the kid one bit. His dad was a piece of shit before he left but at least he didn’t do anything like that. Johnny’s folks were rough on him normally, he couldn’t even imagine what they’d be like on something.

Two-Bit remembered the first time he met little Johnny Cade. The boy had been sitting on Mrs. Curtis’s lap, crying as she tended to a cigarette burn on the back of his hand. Ponyboy had already been attached to the older boy and was sitting beside him holding his other hand.

Looking at Johnny now, he still saw that little boy deep inside. But he was hidden by a teenager who had seen too much of the world and its cruelty. There was a burn scar on the back of his hand from that day. Sometimes Johnny would run a finger over it without realizing it.

“I’m sorry, Johnny,” Two-Bit murmured. He set aside the dirty rags. Johnny deserved so much better than that. Hell, most of them in the gang deserved better. Two-Bit used to be so jealous of the Curtis brothers, not anymore. He was not the only one with an alive parent who loved them.

Johnny shrugged with one shoulder. “Doesn’t fix it.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Two-Bit agreed. He wished it did. “How does that feel?”

Johnny scrunched his face up and nodded, “Not too bad. It’s been worse.” And then, Johnny did something that surprised Two-Bit to no end. He leaned his head on Two-Bit’s shoulder, a tear slipping from his eye.

Two-Bit sighed. Goddammit. Johnny wanted so much to be seen as an adult. He tried to pretend the violence didn’t affect him but he was still just a kid. Ponyboy may have been the youngest, but it was Johnny who they all looked out for, Johnny who they fed and clothed. Johnny was theirs and no one was allowed to hurt him.

“You’re safe here,” Two-Bit said in a poor resemblance to Soda's comfort. He winced internally, but it didn't seem to bother Johnny. “If anyone tries to hurt you here, I’ll kill them myself.”

Johnny laughed a little, sniffing back tears. “I know. You’re pretty tuff.”

“So are you.” Two-Bit smirked. He puffed up just a little, knowing Johnny thought that. “You want to take a shower?”

Johnny shook his head, “I’m so tired, Keith.”

His true name sounded strange on Johnny’s tongue. It softened something inside of Two-Bit. God Johnny must have been real fucked up. “I know, Johnny. You can sleep in my bed, I’ll steal my ma’s.”

“Stay?” Johnny asked. “I know it’s stupid, but…I just keep thinkin’ that one of them is gonna barge in here. I’ll stay on the floor.”

Two-Bit rolled his eyes. As if he was gonna make the kid sleep on the floor. “Come on, I don’t smell that bad, you can share with me.”

After checking another half dozen times to make sure it was alright, Johnny crawled into the bed.

Two took the side closest to the door so Johnny was safely tucked between him and the wall. The curves of their spines were touching lightly. Two-Bit could feel Johnny’s soft breathing.

Tomorrow would be another day, one where Johnny's face was bruised. Just a normal day. But for the night, he was safe beside one of his best friends.

#the outsiders #the outsiders musical #the outsiders broadway #two bit mathews #johnny cade #the outsiders 2025 valentines day exchange

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ghastlyaffairs · 10 months ago

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for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of

also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut

the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)

#hs #homestuck #dirk strider #eye strain #probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags #so uhhh heres the teæ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse #and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol #also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold #though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk #speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least #the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an #and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you #imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting #and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive #uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember #and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags #do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts #beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it #also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa #sigh poor thing #this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm #also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week #(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic #this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah

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otsukare-katsukare · 5 months ago

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i know i beat this dead horse every few weeks or so but i really think sami and neville's nxt feud was so special. sami and kevin obviously blows all other competition out the water as far as wrestling soulmateships for the two of them, but sami and neville did so much in the short time they had on nxt together, and they did it the best possible way which was having both incredible match chemistry AND emotional storytelling.... they had 4 televised singles matches in total and one fatal four way and they were all certified bangers. all developed their relationship in some way and told great self contained stories at the same time. despite the fact that, at no point in any of them, did either sami or neville actually hate each other/have a real heel turn. usually that would portend the 'great athleticism but not a lot of story outside of Which One Is Better' match formula but not these guys, instead it's like the wrestling equivalent of a 100k slow burn. WITH incredible flips and dropkicks.

#damn it's just.. the stakes are in a way quite small scale. cause all of nxt is at that point in time #and most of the rest of the show is quite silly or fluffy drama #but the smallness makes it feel so much more important. neville never hating sami but also not respecting him enough #sami slowly burning more and more with anger at neville's dismissal and self admonishment at his own failure and just pure resentment #until when he slaps him and screams in his face it's like a bomb going off #idk sami has had a great many underdog feuds and they have mostly been great. but vs neville was unique. bc the love was there.#also the crowd. loving both of them but ultimately loving sami so much and wanting him to win so badly that they boo neville #and scream NO! NO! NO! when he's about to hit his finisher on him aka The Best Finisher In Wrestling #sami zayn #the bastard pac #sorry sure aew fans do not want to read abt wwe bs at this time. but 'adrian neville' won't get seen by no one and i wanna praise him

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nerdyfangirlingbooks · 5 months ago

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I've had a stupid merlin au idea stuck in my head for days now and I know I'll never get around to writing it the way I want it written but I kinda wanna try anyway even though I am 100% of the target audience

#it's an f1 au btw #so I feel like a merlin x f1 crossovee is very niche #but I just have this idea in my head pf arthur as a driver and merlin as an aerodynamics engineer #and arthur starts off as an ass (as per usual) and thinks that he's god's gift to motorsports and all his good results are because of his #skill and bad results are because the engineers fucked up bad #and lowkey people don't like working with him BUT uther is giving red bull absolute mega bucks to keep him and he is actually a fantastic #driver in his own right. deep down he's not super satisfied though because people keep saying he's only winning because of his car #and his dad's money which is why he's a grumpy ass to most people and tries to claim good races as his and blame engineers for bad ones #also because uther probably taught him that attitude #in this au I think either Newey didn't exist but rb dominance still did or this is far enough after Newey that I haven't got arthur blaming #him for a bad car because y'all I can't do that it's too unrealistic no one would believe it #(yes I am aware that max and checo are currently complaining about a car newey made but shh)#anyway he secretly goes to sign for like. williams or something who currently suck so he can prove to himself and everyone else that he IS #a good driver and can drive a shit car well. he's admittedly doing fairly well in a tractor when merlin joins the team as the new head #of aerodynamics and arthur is giving him shit because he's so young and how could he possibly fix this shitbox #then Merlin's first big upgrade packages comes and makes a pretty big difference and arthur has to rethink a bit #the next season is the first car that merlin was actually mostly in charge of and it's a massive difference and suddenly it's competitive #meanwhile merlin's pov is that arthur sucks ass and he hates him but he keeps being told that arthur is his destiny #he refuses to believe this though and even though he has magic he point blank refuses to use it on anything that would help arthur even #somewhat indirectly like using it to help design the car. his official reasoning to people who know about his magic is that the fia wouldn't #allow it but personally he also just wants to say a fuck you to fate because he doesn't like arthur. but then they get to know each other #more and he realises that maybe arthur isn't that bad and they become friends like in the show #arthur is leading the championship (pendragon dominance could bore fans) but then he has a big crash and is out for a couple of races #by all accounts it's a miracle he's even alive (it's the only time merlin has used his magic for arthur). when he comes back he still has a #chance at wdc but it's way tighter than it was. maybe there's only a few races to go. he gets some podiums and his competition has some bad #luck (genuine not merlin) or something but then at like the second last race he can guarantee wdc if he wins regardless of where anyone else #places. he does it and merlin is the one to go on the podium with him on behalf of the team (maybe not for winning wdc but just his first #win after the crash idk) and it's this big emptional moment #also morgana was as good as arthur as kids but uther only supported arthur so now she works for sky or someone in a role like nico rosberg

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jrueships · 2 years ago

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#the way people wont let giannis feel any other emotion besides the one they only want to see him as is insaane #like they looove their infantilism of basketball players from outside the country #if they arent always seen as goofy and 'ooo whAts a VenDiNg mAchInE?@??!?? WhAt IS thIs .. PECULIAR DEViCE?? :O?'#the hate they get for showing normal human emotion is #yucky!!!! it's just not right !!!#marketing has some part in the blame here mainly with ppl like boban tho cus #while he can be a big goofy guy hes mainly more of a... 😭#his personality beyond that may surprise some people #it's easy for fans to forget their fav celeb has more personality than the pr probably allows them to show #but it's like fans with like giannis feel like theyre ENTITLED to this image theyve embellished upon his #nature !!!#EVERYONE can act a little like a child in an adults body sometimes!! once they feel happy or safe enough!!#they act like thats ALL giannis HAS to be for them tho!#like sometimes!! giannis is UPSET !!! LET HIM BE UPSET !!!!#n then his haters are always like 'oo so no dad jokes now huh?' HE JUST LOST AS A FIRST SEED ??????#of COURSE hes not gonna say fuckin DAD JOKES RN R U STUPID ?????!???#his goofy personality isnt fake. it just gets unfairly stretched sometimes by ppl whose views should be..#maybe contemplated a little more before putting them into practice #idk... anyways #wanted to show off this cute owl 🥰🥰 i love birds so much

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eowynstwin · 2 months ago

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Price x Reader. Age gap. Divorced Price. Older BF Price. Vaguely smutty. Follow-up to this.

Price realizes you’ve never had a reliable man in your life exactly the second time he discovers you looking up DIY home maintenance for very simple projects.

It missed him the first time because he was deployed. You’d mentioned offhand how you were figuring out how to rebalance a ceiling fan, and he’d just automatically assumed that you were doing it yourself because he wasn’t there, so he simply praised you for your resourcefulness and lived for the next three weeks off of the way you’d absolutely glowed at his words.

But then he gets home, and one evening on the couch he catches you googling “how to fix a leaky sink.”

“What’s that?” he asks you, tamping down on the sudden feeling of masculine inadequacy that reared up almost immediately at the discovery.

“Faucet handle’s leaking all over my counter when I turn it on,” you say, not looking up from your phone. “Landlord’s out of town and can’t fix it.”

“I’m in town, ain’t I?”

You look up at him then, brows raised. You hadn’t even considered asking him, then.

“Oh—I didn’t want to bother you, John, you only just got back, and you’re tired…”

You trail off at the droll expression on his face.

Price has learned a lot of lessons from his previous marriage. The foundational one: just because he hasn’t been asked to help doesn’t mean he is believed to be unreliable. Adding that lesson to his knowledge base about you—young, modern, independent—calculates out an obvious answer that curtails any sour mood that might have sprouted up over the issue.

He puts his hand over your phone screen and lowers it down to your lap. “I’m fixin’ the sink,” he says simply.

He enjoys the way your eyes dilate at the assertion.

The next day, he shows up at your flat wearing old work clothes and carrying his heavy toolbox in his hand.

(You don’t live together yet—something he’s keen to rectify—but he has a toothbrush in your bathroom and permanent space in your bedroom drawers. He can be content for now.)

And you—you answer the door in the filmiest of sundresses, the ribbon tie on one shoulder hanging at a loose angle.

“Heard you need some plumbing done,” he says in the gruffest of voices, already understanding the game.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here,” you say, barely able to hide your giggle, “I’ve been so worried.”

He steps in close to you, close enough to feel the heat of your body radiating off of your bare skin. He has half a mind to put the charade aside and lift your skirt here and now, but another lesson helpfully springs to mind: anticipation of the act makes the finale all the sweeter.

“I’ll show you to the kitchen,” you murmur, looking up at him with warm, dreamy eyes.

When he gets under the sink, he finds the problem easy enough to fix—the cold water supply line simple isn’t screwed in tight enough, and when he wiggles the whole contraption by the valves he finds that nothing has been tightened up to standard. A couple of years knocking the thing around had probably loosened up the locknut.

He elects to fix the whole problem in one go, while in the meantime you stand off to the side, watching him. He feels your eyes on his legs, trailing up to the hair on his belly exposed by his shirt riding up.

“Sir, I’m sorry, I should’ve said before,” you simper, “but I’m not really sure how I’m gonna pay for this.”

His cock jumps in his jeans, and he feels your gaze move to it as if it’s a physical touch.

He levers himself out a little and meets your eyes, keeping a stern expression on his face.

“I’m sure you’re gonna figure it out,” he says. Looking down at his groin and then back up at your face might be a touch unsubtle, but clear communication had been the most important lesson of all.

He slides himself back under, and pretends he doesn’t feel you approach, or lower to your knees between his spread legs. He ignores your gentle hands falling on the closure of his jeans, the pop of the button coming undone, the parting of the zipper as you pull it down.

“Of course, sir,” you say, “I’m sure I will.”

The softness of your hand meets his growing erection, caressing the head of his cock with your thumb—followed very close behind by the wet, liquid heat of your mouth.

#price x reader #john price #john price x reader #price x you #john price x you #price smut #mwritesprice #madi writes #this was a warm-up that got away from me

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creatingblackcharacters · 4 months ago

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No, That’s Not ‘How Color Works’. - Whitewashing

Whitewashing, as defined by Merriam-Webster:

"to alter (something) in a way that favors, features, or caters to white people: such as a) to portray (the past) in a way that increases the prominence, relevance, or impact of white people and minimizes or misrepresents that of nonwhite people and B) to alter (an original story) by casting a white performer in a role based on a nonwhite person or fictional character"

In fandom context, we know it to include:

Making someone’s skin lighter

Making someone’s hair a thinner texture

Changing someone’s nose to be thinner

Shrinking their lips

Changing the character in their entirety to be someone else

The Normalization of Whitewashing

Remember how I mentioned last lesson that despite the nature of poorly drawn Black characters, most audiences are not turned off enough to discourage the action in professional works? Similar idea with whitewashing. Not the same- unlike the Ambiguously Brown Character, which claims to have plausible deniability, overt whitewashing is usually enough to make fans speak up! But that’s the key word here- overt! It has to be “bad enough” to make enough people speak up, but as we’ve seen many a time, “bad enough” seems to have a much higher threshold for nonblack viewership (sometimes the limit doesn’t exist!)

Some visual examples

This is a link to my personal thread on a Netflix show I was watching- Worst Ex Ever. Now, while the show itself was quite enlightening, there was something I could not get over. I thought I was going crazy. And that was that no matter how dark the person of color would be in real life, the animated portions would draw this light pinkish-brown. Every. Single. Time. It's like they couldn't fathom scrolling down the color wheel. And this is a Netflix original! Netflix has plenty of money for someone to have caught this in creation. But... it was produced. And put out. And they're making more of it.

I asked all of the Dragon Age fans about the series, and uh… I didn’t know things were this bad, guys! Apparently this is a man of color, but it doesn't seem like the creators want you to know that 🤣. Jokes aside, as I’ve discussed before, the noticeable whitewashing- and that was one of many racist things I was told- was not enough to prevent sales... so why would they stop? I can only hope this new game, with all the updates, is enough to turn the tide. But the series has gone on for a while now, that if they’d chosen to do ye same olde… there clearly would not be a lack of financial support to prevent it.

Colorism as a Tool

Even when actors of color are cast, colorism often plays a role in normalizing whitewashing to audiences, even to Black audiences! People think “oh well at least they’re Black!” as if that is the only important part. It is not.

While Aaron Pierre, the actor cast for John Stewart of Green Lantern fame, is a GORGEOUS, STUNNING man, he is not the dark-skinned man that John Stewart is supposed to be and should not have been cast! To me, this is overt colorism, but clearly for many people this is not “enough” to warrant concern or even prevent the casting itself- including the studio behind the movie! Black fans have plead for years for the character of Storm to be played by a dark-skinned, preferably African, woman, and it has never happened.

It naturally happens in fan spaces as well, which is another indicator that colorism as a tool for whitewashing is quite effective for audiences. If I see one more Zendaya fan cast for Kida from Atlantis, I will scream. It’s been happening for years, and I don’t think any of the people who just want to see her and Tom on screen either understand or care that Kida is a dark-skinned character. Zendaya doesn’t look anything like Kida- it doesn’t matter if she’s Black too! Just because someone is Black does not mean they can play every single Black character! I’ve even seen people fancast Emilia Clarke of Game of Thrones fame, to which… I don’t have the words. I can’t fathom what would cause these decisions other than racism.

The Common Excuses

I must be honest. I don’t really feel like re-iterating how certain things are not okay and how to fix them, because I’ve already discussed these things in massive detail. So I’m just going to direct the excuses I regularly hear to my lessons, where you can read up on them.

“Their hair/eyes are like that because they’re biracial so-”

Relevant Lessons: 2.1, 2.2, 2.3, 8, 9, 10

There is nothing wrong with having biracial characters with a range of features. I am not saying that! Because yeah, genetics do happen!

But I mentioned this in my last lesson, and I will re-emphasize here, that using biracial identity as a way to whitewash is a sinister form of racism. The intention here- the real intention- is the issue here! The idea that somehow this character can only look the way you want them to look by "diluting" their Blackness… I don’t know how you can explain yourselves out of that one.

You don’t get to use us as an excuse for diversity while still trying to maintain your preference for Eurocentric beauty standards. Black biracial people don’t always look light skinned, thin-haired and ambiguous, and even the ones that do don’t deserve to be treated as your fetish for pretend antiracism. If you just want to draw a white person with a tan, do that. But don’t change a character’s entire look just so you can work in some whiteness. If you want to claim that canon Black character’s mother was white, then I guess they inherited some of her personality because their features should not change.

“It’s my style/It’s the color-”

Relevant Lessons: 3, 4, 10

I hate all excuses for whitewashing, but I’ve grown to despise, hate, abhor and loathe this one the most as I’ve become an artist. I wish there were stronger words to describe just how much I hate the “style” and “color” excuse.

Are style and use of color oft intertwined? Absolutely. I’m not saying they aren’t. But out of everything, there are two things I want artists to understand:

1. Style does not cancel out racism! No style forces you to choose ashy greys and to change peoples’ features. That’s you! If you look at something, and it looks offensive, you change the style. You grow as an artist!

2. “Everyone who is brown will look ashy so I just-” if you recognize that your Black characters look strange in comparison to your nonblack characters, then it’s time to try something else! I don’t understand this sudden need for “realism” when it comes to color and lighting, but not when it comes to hair, for example. No one cares about realism when giving every and all Black characters wavy tresses they probably wouldn’t have, but suddenly milquetoast watercolor attempts at brown and off-putting lighting is “how it works”. That’s not fair.

The color picker is an available tool! I use it often!

Dead giveaway of purposeful whitewashing: if someone gets the outfit color palette right via color picking, but the skin color is multiple shades lighter. That means they were looking at that character and chose not to proceed.

Dead giveaway of purposeful whitewashing: if the white characters in the show are completely correct in their palettes. Again, that means they cared enough to look at everyone else… and not the Black characters.

If you use the color picker and the color picked is… disrespectful, you do not have to use that! You can simply choose a better color that is still similar to the brown that ought to be depicted!

“It’s the lighting-”

Relevant Lessons: 4, 5

If your white characters do not shine like snow in the sunlight because of your lighting, then your lighting does not make your Black characters suddenly light tan.

If your Black characters look bad in your lighting of choice- for example, putting a very dark-skinned character in electric white lighting can be ghastly- try changing the intensity or the color of the lighting. DON’T change your character’s skin color!

I'm going to show you some pictures of South Sudanese model Nyakim Gatwech. Pay attention to the choices of light, color, and makeup.

Look how BEAUTIFUL she is! Look at the choices of intensity and color of light, and how they make her look different in each image.

Now look at this image in comparison:

In this image, whoever did her makeup and took this picture did not take into consideration her skin tone. She's also under this really intense lighting. This is an example of "increasing the lighting does NOT make an image "better"". She didn't need to have lighter skin or "more lighting" to look good. She needed BETTER lighting, lighting that worked with HER.

To see this as an example in drawn art, @dsm7 makes an excellent argument for proper lighting and color, why it is an issue to use it as an excuse, and how to solve that problem.

‼️DISCLAIMER FOR NEXT EXAMPLE‼️

Okay. I am about to show y’all a fan-created example from my personal experience. It is a TEACHING EXPERIENCE ONLY. I am not including the artist’s name in this image. It happened a couple years ago, and it’s over- they’ve chosen to be who they are despite me kindly confronting them about it. The only reason I’m including it at all is because I feel like it would be remiss to have such a clear-cut, multi-level example, and not teach with it. That said, no, I am not telling anyone to act out towards them. Again, that is not what I’m telling you to do. The last thing I need is a literal lynch mob of angry nonblack viewership for trying to teach you all, and y’all sitting there watching it happen to me. Every example of whitewashing is not going to be so obvious, but I hope you learn how to spot the examples in the art you see and share.

I'm obviously a Hades fan, particularly of Patroclus- despite my disdain for the lack of effort in his canon character design. So I've seen a lot of things. That said:

“Well it’s just MY design of them-”

Relevant Lessons: ALL

The sepia coloring did not do this. The lighting did not do this. The design is the exact same as the Hades version, even down to the shape of the hair curling in the back. The only thing that is different… is the man himself.

Y'all. Y'all! You CANNOT take a pre-existing Black character and say “oh well this is my design of them” …and the design is of a whole white person. Because if the rest of the fit is the same, and the only thing that changed is the Blackness… Racism. If you’re going to “make up your own design”, then do that!

“Blackwashing”

Speaking of: I’m sure someone edgy out there thinks they’re so smart as they retort to the screen: “but if that’s not okay, then why is Blackwashing okay?” To which I say- shut up. 😐

The “definition” by fandom: making a nonblack character Black, usually an anime character, but characters in general.

Funny enough, the actual definition in the dictionary (or closest to) is “to defame”, in contrast with whitewash (as in whitewashing history). Maybe racist fans ARE using it correctly when they say you’re blackwashing their characters, when they mean you’re making them “less likable because they’re Black now”. 🤔

Anyway: Blackwashing is not real for the same reason reverse racism is not real.

Me painting these characters brown is not going to take away from the fact that there are far more of you in media than there is of me. Me saying that I ‘headcanon a character as Black with 4C hair’ is not going to make the studio go “oh! Well they must be Black with 4C hair now!” Me saying “oh I think I’d like this character better if they were Black” as a beta tester (less overtly, obviously, because I’m not racist!) will never make a studio change that character. Black viewers have minimal value in comparison to the power of the white viewer’s dollar. I could draw white characters Black every single day of every single game media… and they would still produce majority white characters. There has not been centuries- if not millennia, when we consider Jesus Christ himself, even- of purposeful “Blackwashing” with the intent of removing the original ethnicity- and thus importance- of white people. No one has ever been allowed to forget when someone is white. No one has ever been allowed to forget or not acknowledge white people.

How it could be "solved"

Personally, I love Black edits and I welcome them here. I find them creative and fun. But if you really, REALLY didn’t want us to make those edits, then naturally, we need more Black characters in all of our media!

I wouldn’t have to make edits if I saw more of me to begin with in the things I like to watch- but when we have those characters, racists act an ass about them. We’re not allowed to even be present! I’ve seen too many gamer bros mocking the existence of Yasuke in Assassin’s Creed, and he was a real ass man. But if we made a game about African peoples in African societies, how many of the gamer bros would actually play those games? Do you think there’d be as much support, when we hear so much about Black characters that are treated so abhorrently? How many games do we have where people would love their faves just as much if they were Black? I even learned that Solas was apparently supposed to be a man of color. IMAGINE how many people would not have liked that man, with the same exact plot and characterization.

Something I’ve noticed recently: apparently "Blackwashing" is not a thing when White fans “allow” it. Take this recent trend with Miku. International Miku was beloved! But if you draw any other character as Black on any other day, there will be people that are horrid about it. Ask any artist, Black artists and Black cosplayers especially, who’s ever done it what their comments are like. I’ve read entire missives akin to white supremacist drivel on how it’s somehow morally wrong to make characters Black. Meanwhile no amount of “hey maybe you shouldn’t do this” prevented the movie Gods of Egypt from being created, with a cast full of British White people.

Solutions to Avoiding Whitewashing!

1) Using References!!

Do I think you should know what Black people look like? Yes. We’re humans. It’s 2024. Everyone knows what we look like when it’s time to hate and discriminate against us, so you know what we look like when it’s time to love and depict us. If you’re on Tumblr, you have access to the Internet. ESPECIALLY if you’re in the U.S., as Black people are the source of damn near every piece of online pop culture. If you can find my dialect to make my jokes, you can find pictures of me.

Would I rather you use a reference every single time so that you can only strengthen your depiction of my people? ABSOLUTELY.

Anyone on the Internet telling you not to use a reference or that you shouldn’t need a reference? Unfollow them. You don’t need that negativity in your life. Why would you deprive yourself of a tool to create? The greatest portrait painters in history had to look at their subjects! You are not getting paid nearly as much to do this as Hans Holbein, and he had to stare at Henry VIII correct else lose his head- you can pull up multiple references. I’d far rather be judged for using hella references than be judged for being a racist!

Part of the issue is people draw what they’re used to, what they’re comfortable with (thus last lesson). But if what you’re used to is not what someone will look like… That’s not okay. Their features are not the issue, your skills are the issue. Learn! Practice! There is no rush. No one is rushing you to be perfect at drawing Black characters, and no one is rushing you to post them. You can just practice! If you’re not a professional, you can take as long as you need to draw! If you need to draw that piece of hair over and over until you feel like you have down the shape, you do that! If you need to use a tool that would draw the hair for you, you get that tool!

If you want to post, you can say you are practicing! If you make clear you are practicing, then be willing to accept that people may have feedback. I’d far rather deal with someone saying they’re unconfident and practicing, than someone posting a whitewashed caricature and closing their ears because “well at least I’m trying!”

2) Empathize! Care about actual Black people when you create a Black character!

Imagine, if you will, in the Twilight Zone: you went to an artist, and you asked for a white character (I typed in “regular looking white dude” on google). There’s hardly ever any white characters, you’re so super excited about this one! You paid good money, because you’ve seen just how amazing this artist creates! They’re so good at drawing characters of color! But no matter how many times you ask, they send you back an image of… Assad Zaman.

That man might be fine as hell! Gorgeous! Beautifully done! Chef’s kiss. Stunning! But… He’s not white. That’s not what you asked or paid for. You can’t even fathom how they mixed this up, they don’t even look alike! And when you confront them, they gaslight you, they call YOU the issue for not understanding how you can’t tell that this is a white man! They would never get this wrong! They have white friends, you’re the racist! But you’re not stupid, and you have functioning eyes- you can SEE what this drawing looks like! And… It’s not you.

It’s dehumanizing. It’s being told that there’s a “better way” to look like you, and that’s by… Not looking like you. You, as you exist, are what’s incorrect. Your identity is incorrect, not their drawing. It’s better to have thinner hair instead of an afro or locs, it’s better to have lighter skin, it’s better to have a straighter, thinner nose over a round one, and smaller lips.

And what makes it worse is knowing that people who don’t look like you? Probably won’t care. They won’t be willing to see- not unable, but unwilling- that playing with this caricature is harmful, that they’re propagating harm by not acknowledging it. They’re letting you know that your humanity means less to them than the clout received with a whitewashed or half-assed Black character, and that people will applaud them for that ‘attempt at inclusion’. And people will applaud! They will be entertained by the mere performance! And that hurts.

I’m going to say this, and it’s awkward and I try not to say it directly on here, but… Having Black friends and/or being around actual, real life Black people would help. I can tell from some of the questions I receive that Black characters and their traits- especially things like our hair and our cultures- are being treated as… alien concepts. But even if, for whatever reason, you legitimately don’t know any Black people, you do not need to know us individually to care about our humanity as a whole! Even if you do not know we’re there, we are, and we could possibly see your work!

By acknowledging Blackness and making room to understand what it means- and that includes how we can look- you are doing the bare minimum of acknowledging our personhood. If you cannot do even that, you don’t need to be drawing us.

Conclusion

Here’s the thing: if you want to draw a white man with tanned skin, do that. Just do it! You do NOT have to erase me to have more of you! There is not a single fandom where the majority of the white fans ever said “gee, not another white guy!” It simply doesn’t happen. God knows we wish it did sometimes. You will always have an audience for white characters. There’s no danger to any of you of “being erased”.

(Without putting on my political hat, I will say that a lot of white people who consider themselves to be far from white supremacist will express beliefs in line with great replacement theory if you push them hard enough. It is unfortunately not as uncommon an idea as you might think. I would do some self-evaluation.)

People are going to notice that you only ever draw white people, but… To be frank, that has never stopped anybody from being successful. Again, Jen Zee, at Supergiant with the terrible dark-skinned characters… Still has a job. at Supergiant. A professional studio. Dragon Age. Multiple games of consistent whitewashing and racist writing. Still going. If racism prevented creation and popularity, I wouldn’t have to have this blog. Alas, that is the society we currently live in.

But if you ACTUALLY want to depict Black characters, if you ACTUALLY want to do right and be respectful- not because you want the clout, but because it’s the right damn thing to do- then you need to commit! This means drawing them as they are meant to be! Accept that you’ll likely lose some fan base, who was there (whether they were aware of it or not) for the white and lighter skinned characters. Accept that this means that trying to appeal to those people by whitewashing characters is 1) wrong, 2) racist, which is 3) something you chose to do when you could simply have just… Drawn more white people.

I’ll say it again: antiracism is hard. It’s hard doing the right thing in a society that rewards racism so easily. It’s really hard knowing that people will stop supporting you or caring as much about your work when you start including Black characters as actively as you do white ones, especially if you start talking about the importance of it. But in my honest opinion, I’d far rather be someone that cared about others, with genuine fans, than someone that was racist for the fleeting internet clout of strangers. And that may be less ‘hopeful’ than I normally am in these lessons, but… People make choices. And people who have been informed- as you are now- are aware of the choices they are making. It’s the thought that counts, but the action that delivers- let’s choose better actions.

#creatingblackcharacters #black character design #whitewashing #antiblackness

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