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miss-spooky-eyes · 4 years ago

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OC Inspirations: Devinahl & Indy

I was (delightfully) tagged by @vespertine-legacy a while ago and I’ve hesitated to do this because I knew I was going to talk WAY too much - but it was weighing on me, so I decided to open up about the sources from which I stole, that is, drew inspiration for Devinahl and Indirae.

What three fictional characters is your OC a combination of?

This doesn’t apply to every OC - not even mine - but its certainly true for a few : Many of our characters are, to an extent, inspired by characters we see in movies, books, games, TV shows, etc.

Does this apply to any of your OCs? Was it a conscious decision on your part or not? Is your OC a combination of three (or more) fictional characters?

If so - post some GIFs / pics and tell us about them! What does your OC draw from other characters?

Too much Devinahl & Indy chat after the cut.

DEVINAHL

The truth is that when I came to creating my Imperial Agent Devinahl, and in particular fleshing out her backstory in far, far too much detail, there were some sources that I went to extremely explicitly and deliberately. And chief among them was ...

1. Garak, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

That’s right. Garak from Deep Space Nine. Plain, simple Garak. Outcast. Exile. Spy. Addict. Perennial liar. Patriot. Terrorist. Would-be genocider. Very good tailor.

(If you haven’t seen DS9, then you need to. It’s like Star Trek, but if it was actually good? And Garak is a big part of what elevates it.)

Is it weird to compare my ancient video game Barbie/gorgeous sex bomb badass assassin and seductress to a cold-blooded space lizard who spends his days hemming pants? Possibly. But there are aspects of Garak’s character that, consciously and unconsciously, I made parts of Devinahl’s DNA.

Firstly, Garak is a patriot. He loves Cardassia so much that despite seeing its flaws with absolute clarity, despite having been exiled and reviled by it, he would die without question to serve it (of course, he’d much rather make someone else die). And while seeing that as a weakness, despite knowing that the Cardassia he has committed to serving is disappearing before his eyes, there is still a part of him that believes that that commitment - that neverending sacrifice - is noble. The only noble part of him. That’s central to Devinahl’s character (which is, in turn, the way I made sense of the IA storyline). That while hating and despising the Sith, she would nevertheless believe in the Empire - not so much believe that it is good (at best, I think she sees it as order and stability where the Republic is corruption and chaos) as believe that her commitment to it is the only redeeming thing available to her.

Secondly, the way that Garak will take his needs, vulnerabilities, sincere emotions and package them in ways which gets him what he has to have to keep going, without ever giving up full control? Particularly in the extraordinary episode The Wire, in which a dying Garak tells Dr Bashir a series of lies about himself in order to elicit Bashir’s forgiveness, because he needs to be sincerely forgiven but without ever telling the truth?

Out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren’t? My dear doctor, they’re all true. Even the lies?

That is everything I tried to do with Dev, particularly in my fic about her and SCORPIO, particularly when it comes to her and Arcann. To know what she needs, as Garak needs absolution from Bashir, and tell just enough truth - put herself into just vulnerable enough a position - to get it, but never without reserving something, holding something back, whether it’s the knowledge that she can maneouvre herself out of SCORPIO’s clutches at any time or her real name? That’s a fucking survivor.

Thirdly, the relationship between Devinahl and Sifter (the spymaster who finds her as a traumatised child and grooms her for Intelligence) and specifically, the deathbed scene I wrote in Riddle was directly inspired by Garak’s relationship with Enabran Tain and that death scene.

Yes, Devinahl was not Sifter’s actual daughter, but in every real sense she was formed by Sifter - and had Sifter had just one day with Dev like Tain had with Garak, Dev would have been lost. She would have turned herself into a carbon copy of Sifter, and she would have died. But the bittersweetness? The acknowledgement that the parental figure you love will never, not even now that they’re dying, love you as you want them to?

‘I should have killed your mother before you were born. You have always been a weakness I can't afford.’ ‘So you've told me. Many times. ...’ ‘Elim, remember that day…in the country. You must've been almost five.’ ‘How can I forget it? It was the only day.’

(The love and infinite sadness with which Andrew Robinson says that line, ‘It was the only day’? I’m crying just thinking about it. Anyway, it was everything I was thinking about and wanted to achieve in that scene.)

Oh ... and Devinahl’s ambiguous relationship with her implants? Well, Garak also has an implant in his head. And that’s all I’m saying about that.

2. Oryx from Oryx & Crake by Margaret Atwood

A novel character rather than from TV or movies, I hope that’s OK. And I know that there are ... very problematic elements to the way Atwood writes about Oryx, her family, her culture, her background. But she was one of the strongest elements that went into creating Devinahl and her backstory.

There were specific aspects of the story Oryx tells to Jimmie - particularly the parts about being told to scream and make a fuss if a man tries to take you away to a hotel room, and then being told not to make a fuss when a man tries to take you away to a hotel room - that became part of Dev’s story. But there was also a general attitude and way of looking at life I wanted to capture and incorporate. Oryx’s philosophy of value?

Of course (said Oryx), having a money value was no substitute for love. Every child should have love, every person should have it. . . . but love was undependable, it came and then it went, so it was good to have a money value, because then at least those who wanted to make a profit from you would make sure you were fed enough and not damaged too much. Also there were many who had neither love nor a money value, and having one of these things was better than having nothing.

I wanted to create a character who could look at life and suffering and abuse, even her own, and view it in that dispassionate way which horrifies someone from my middle-class Western background - and then I wanted to test that idea, to bring it up against SCORPIO and have SCORPIO try to break it down with torture, to see if it was just a cool facade/necessary illusion. I wimped out of really testing that belief, instead having Dev always know that she could get out of her situation/having her find a way to be loved without truly having to sacrifice her protective patterns ... but if I was a little braver and better, I’d have tested it to breaking point. How far can a character go who thinks like that while still remaining, on some level, compassionate/human/likeable?

3. Saffron (Firefly)

I could have gone Black Widow (definitely the inspiration for Dev’s aesthetic in terms of outfit etc). But the plain truth is that I thought more about Saffron while dreaming up Devinahl/writing her backstory than I did about Black Widow (yes, Widow turned her weakness into strength in a manipulative fashion all the time, but Garak did it better, and other than that she mainly looked after boys in a way that I did not want Dev to be limited to).

Firefly, for a show that had - what - 13 episodes? - exercises far too much of a hold on my imagination and Saffron, especially in the first episode in which she appeared, was such a tremendous character. The way that she found exactly the triggers to turn each member of the crew inside out? (And if she’d had more time, it absolutely would have worked on Wash and Inara, too - it only didn’t because she had to hurry.) Dev has that. I can’t write it, because I suck, but she has it.

Oh, and nobody will ever know Devinahl’s real name (apart from you, if you read my fic about her backstory) and she’d die before letting you know it. That’s straight from Saffron. As is, I suppose, the man who would accept her just as she is without needing to push to know her secrets, except it worked out a little better for Dev and Arcann than it did for Yolanda and Durran Haymer because Dev and Arcann will always have pegging.

INDIRAE

(This will be a lot shorter than the section on Devinahl, I promise.)

1. Steve Rogers, Captain America (and whatever else)

I have never been super into the MCU, but the key reference I used to find a way into Indy’s character, back when she was nothing more than a cool-looking Cathar Bounty Hunter, was Steve Rogers. (November can attest to this)

Indy’s physical size - she’s six foot if she’s an inch, and big - is key to her personality, but equally key is the idea that she would always experience that size as uncomfortable and slightly alien to her. Like Steve Rogers, she started out as the scrawny kid always getting beat up by everybody ... And when she got her strength (with a hefty assist from the toxic waste run-off into what was her family’s only source of water) and suddenly got TALL and STRONG? She did not like bullies - which was what led her to help Coda out of a jam at the spacesport and started them on their road.

(If there’s a better way to play the BH storyline than as a stone-cold mercenary with an utterly unwilling heart of gold ... then I don’t know about it.)

2. Xena, Xena Warrior Princess

I’ll be completely fucking straight with anybody about this (so to speak): I love Xena, I had an obsession with it as a teenager I’m still unpacking, and the show tends to feed into my characters in an ... odd way.

Indy is physically imposing like Xena, is the main thing; and her dynamic with Coda owes a lot to Xena’s with Gabrielle (although Coda is as big and tough as Indy, she is the fast talker/smooth operator to Indy’s laconic strongman). I wanted Indy to dominate action scenes the way that Xena does, be that kind of a force of nature; and watch her struggle to find ways to channel that charisma, to need Coda’s help to understand how to do it.

3. Dottie Henson, A League of Their Own

OK, first of all, I do not want to hear any kind of mockery. This is, unironically, one of my favourite films of all time.

Again, we come back to the core theme of a character struggling with her own greatness/potential. That’s what is the most fascinating through-line of A League of Their Own: Dottie, this unbelievable baseball player/physical presence (yes, she’s very tall, just like Indy) who is so terrified to admit that she wants anything more than her smalltown life and dreadful husband, even while the evidence of her talent and passion for the game is burning up these ... fields? Diamonds? I don’t know baseball apart from this film.

Indy certainly hides behind not wanting to be a bounty hunter. She doesn’t believe in any Mandalorian nonsense about romanticising what is an unglamorous job. She’s just doing it for credits and afterwards, once she’s secured her family’s future, she’s totally going to go home and settle down in some acceptable, domestic way. Being on the Mantis with Coda, it’s absolutely just a means to an end. She doesn’t want to be there, she doesn’t care about it, it’s not who she is, she doesn’t need it. This life, the adventure, the freedom, the fighting for survival, it’s certainly not what gets inside her and what lights her up, no, not at all.

Oh, and Dottie is also a reluctant leader. She doesn’t see why her talent should put her in the position of telling other people what to do - but then, on the other hand, she sees so clearly what they need to be doing, and when she says to do it, they listen. She doesn’t want to carry this team, but they’re only a team so long as she carries them.

(Don’t worry, Coda’s not going to let her lie to herself for too long.)

#swtor #excessively long answers to memes #oc: devinahl #oc: indirae

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a-stitch-in-time-and-space · 5 years ago

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Various Feelings About ASIT Part 6: Doctors (and other lovers) Part 2 of 2

What I'm mainly trying to do in this part is reconcile what the book is – a love confession to Bashir – with what is in the text – the opening overtures to his romantic relationship with Parmak.

So I'm going to use a little bit of looking at Parmak as a probable reason why Bashir might've taken awhile to get to Cardassia after reading that novel:

Parmak and Bashir are comparable in the same way I feel Pythas and Palandine are comparable. The latter shared their names with him at Bamarren, helped train some of his later most recognisable (often unhealthily utilised) traits, are too caught up on the system themselves to be good for him and vice versa. The former challenge his ways of thinking, have witnessed parts of his worst self and offered forgiveness without a catch, are incredibly kind and giving, make him do better simply by existing as they do.

There are too many quotes and a half about Garak lamenting the change in his and Bashir's relationship. A couple of them seem to indicate Bashir's own awareness, at least of the fact that they don't communicate as easily as they used to, but one thing the book never gives us (for obvious reasons being this is Garak's pov) is Bashir's reasons for drawing away.

[Excerpt fromt the book: Bashir smiled and accepted the invitation. I led the way back into the shop, and while I coaxed two teas - one red lead and one Earl Grey - from my ancient replicator in the back, the doctor strolled about as if he were genuinely interested in the various sartorial displays. He was clearly ill at ease, and I wondered how the gulf between us had widened to such an extent. I was determined to narrow it.]

I can (and do) hypothesise and headcanon, but I'd like to know if any other novels give us more perspective – perhaps one of Una Mccormack's, but that's awhile down the road for me yet. In any case, Bashir and Garak drift apart. I wonder whether it looks different from Bashir's pov – does he think it was Garak pulling away because of the Cardassian conflict – they have an argument about it earlier on, in which Bashir unwittingly is rude about their society and Garak lashes out at him – or did he just have some sense of perhaps tension between them post-wire, that he misread as a wish on Garak's part wishing for him not to be around as often. How much has to do with his own PTSD (unexplored on the show and, so far, in subsequent books)... here is where I go into my own territory and think that the person he had the most trouble hiding his emotions from was Garak and maybe it was subconsciously easier to stay away from him, lest he be honest towards someone who wasn't being honest back (or he had no idea how to process his crush, so ran away from it, which, mood).

[”I’m keeping you from your business,” Bashir stood up. “I won’t take up any more of your time.” “I’m pleased you stopped by.” I was about to escort him to the door. “No, you’re not,” he said quietly. “Excuse me?” “Garak, I come from a culture that has perfected the ‘stiff upper lip,’ he explained with the same faint smile. “What does that mean?” It was a genuine question; there was a change in his attitude. “It means that we never complain, never admit to our feelings, never ask for help. It’s just not done,” Bashir explained. “And those people who ‘lack character’ and insist on airing their needs - especially in public - are subject to ridivule... and worse. Does that sound familiar?” “Perhaps,” I replied softly. “But I’m also a doctor, Garak. And I know which group of people suffers the most. I really won’t take up any more of your time.” He extended his hand, which he rarely did, and I took it. “Thank you for the tea.” He turned and went out the door. I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. Yes, Doctor, it does sound familar.]

There's so much of interest to explore in terms of Garak feeling like Bashir abandoned him and then running to another doctor (maybe Bashir thought that Garak had left him in turn – must of stung to think of him with another doctor) – not that I'm calling Parmak a rebound.

[Extract from the book: - be given a new brain. I rather enjoy this peripatetic politicking. It’s something I would never have done on my own. In some respects his is so much like you, Doctor. If I’ve found someone’s opinion insufferably boring, he’ll kindly but sternly lecture me on the value of tolerance.]

They both represent pivotal parts of his healing process: Bashir on Deep Space Nine removes the wire, makes him feel less lonely, quite probably is the main component in his belief in inter-species co-operation, fundamentally changes the way he wishes to live (is the first person outside of the little Circle of Secrecy that knows Tain is his father?), Parmak on Cardassia helps him reconcile with his past, takes the beginnings of political concepts he'd discussed with Bashir and puts them into practise, also literally everything about the fucking Memorial Statues, not to mention that time when Garak fully breaks and he helps him recover, (and Garak tells him freely that Tain is his father).

(also both Bashir and Parmak are horrified by the thought that Tain is Garak's father, which, mood)

Where is the change then? How come Bashir didn't work out and Parmak does? The answer possibly lies in reciprocity – where Garak couldn't offer what Bashir needed in return, he could do that for Parmak. This isn't a judgement, I'd say the problem is that Bashir didn't know what he needed and Garak wasn't open enough to maybe fully be considered someone Bashir could go to (even if both Bashir and Garak might've wished he was), while Parmak is much more grounded in who he is as a person and by the time they meet, so is Garak, because he utilises those lessons he'd learnt from Bashir. Oh the irony.

[Excerpt from book. Parmak asks Garak for advice: “You know, Elim, I’m neither a soldier nor a politician. I’m a doctor.” “I do know that. I also know that we’ve been betrayed by our previous leaders. Our only hope is that men like yourself can offer an alternative.” “But you have the expertise that can... .“Doctor, I have an expertise that comes from survival and compromise. There’s already plenty of that on the other side... and it’s not an alternative that will create a new and lastinf union.” “No, I suppose you’re right,” he conceded.” “You’re a doctor, yes, and that’s your strength. I’ve learned something about your profession over the past several years. Don’t think like a politician. Think of the planet as a patient barely hanging on to life. Think like a doctor. How would you save this planet?” He considered what I’d said in his careful manner.]

Maybe a good indicator is that Garak never actually directly told Bashir that his first-name was Elim.

And then A Stitch In Time happens and all of those things that no-doubt must've frustrated Bashir to no end that Garak wouldn't share with him are laid bare in their entirety in a way that sounds like he'd love nothing better than to finally pick up where they faltered, with no more lies and secrets... only problem is it sounds like Garak might've found someone else and now it's too late.

[Excerpt. The last lines of the book: It has become my personal totem. I hope that someday you’ll have the opportunity to see it. Nothing would please me more. You’re always welcome, Doctor.]

I would love to ask Andy if I ever meet him if he thinks Bashir would have come to visit after that letter, despite everything that was written subsequently. After all, the last words were an express wish to see him again. Even if just as his friend, I feel like Bashir would've wanted to take him up on that offer...

#a stitch in time #this is more about julian and elim than it is about kelas and elim #mainly because i think that relationship is more explored in later books and i havent read those yet #elim garak #julian bashir #kelas parmak #meta #andy robinson #writing

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almaasi · 5 years ago

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yoooooooooo, I’m in need of a beta (or betas) for my Garak/Bashir fics since all my usual proofreaders are busy.

summaries/warnings for 4 completed fics are listed under the cut. total word count is 111k+. all are rated ‘explicit’ except for one ‘mature’.

my previous fics are here if you want to know how I write.

preferably I’m looking for someone who can beta all of them, and more fics that come after this, but anyone who can do a one-off is cool too. I definitely want someone who’s good at suggesting things in the name of intersectional feminism and reader sensitivity! or just questioning things and commenting in general. catching typos or confusing sentences would be a huge bonus but that’s not my priority~

please share this with people you think might be interested!!!

fics listed longest first, not necessarily the ideal posting order. some of these have been lightly or partially beta’d already.

1. The Wolf Who Cried Doctor

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Julian Bashir & Ezri Dax

55k, Explicit

Garak is certain: any day now, Julian will discover that the most frequent visitor to DS9’s Infirmary has been going out of his way to fake, cause, and invite harm unto himself in order to gain his dear doctor’s attention. Garak cheerfully tells his lies with just enough variation to remain interesting, but remains afraid that one day Julian won’t believe him when there’s really something wrong.

But Julian is already aware there’s a problem. And the best treatment for an acute case of touch-starved loneliness, he believes, is to provide Garak with as much physical affection and emotional care as possible. It’s not like Julian couldn’t do with some company himself, given how his relationship with Ezri has been fraying.

But neither Julian nor Garak envisioned what could come of it all. Neither of them ever prepared for bliss.

(A post-canon fic where Garak comes back to DS9 and feelings happen.)

Tags: non-endgame pairing:, Julian Bashir/Ezri Dax, side pairings: Ezri Dax/Kira Nerys, Kira Nerys/Keiko O'Brien/Miles O'Brien, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, Angst, Self-Harm, Depression, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, (Julian and Garak), Lovers to Friends, (Julian and Ezri), Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Massage, Holding Hands, First Kiss, Touch-Starved Elim Garak, Lonely Elim Garak, Jealous Elim Garak, Garak is the quadrant’s most melodramatic drama queen, Lonely Julian Bashir, Bisexual Julian Bashir, Julian’s Foot Fetish, Ezri Ships It, Supportive Ezri Dax, Matchmaker Ezri Dax, Love Triangle, except it’s a tangle of lines, Polyamory, Communication is Hard but Vital, Replicator Malfunctions, Space Station Antics, First Time, Bottom Julian Bashir, Top Elim Garak

Warnings: Garak self-harms (nothing gory or graphic - just hot tea + gravity, improper handling of sewing tools, baiting others to use brute force, purposefully ingesting questionable foodstuffs; scars from past cutting) - but for most of the story he doesn’t think his actions are troublesome, merely viewing self-harm as a means to an end to acquire the physical comfort and emotional attention that he craves from Julian. (Disclaimer: I’m aware this is not the only reason real people might self-harm, but it’s Garak’s reason.)

Unspecific suicidal ideation (Julian tells Garak off and Garak’s like “welp! guess I’ll die now”). Both Garak and Julian are wildly depressed and lonely - and I swear that Ezri, the O’Briens, and I are trying our darnedest to rescue them, but they both have a tendency to spiral into a vortex of doom without talking to anyone about it, so it’s not the easiest thing to do. >:|

Foot fetish is mild but... y’know, present. (Oh, Julian.)

Regarding polyamory/love triangle tags (spoilers ahead!): Julian loves Ezri A LOT but doesn’t realise it’s in a platonic friendship way, and privately ties himself in knots over not being sexually or romantically attracted to her anymore (if he ever was to begin with). Much panicking about unintentional cheating happens, because he’s accidentally in love with Garak while dating Ezri - except (more spoilers) Ezri is trying to set him up with Garak anyway. Ezri is totally poly and way more chill than 99% of people would be in her position. Past Kira/Keiko/Miles.

Special note I mentioned to current betas: you should probably know that i feel some sort of divided way about how ezri is SO accepting of julian's disaster sexuality, because a) i've never once seen any character react like that, ever, in anything fictional or real (potentially bc of lack of bi and poly rep), and b) her reactions are based on how i would react in her place??? (note that i'm aro, ace, and bi, (well that's simplified) so if i was in a relationship with julian it would definitely be platonic but me being madly attracted to him despite that) so it's like... really personal but also i'm worried nobody would relate and would say i made her a pushover. so any pointers you have there would be lovely <3

2. Runabout Rollabout

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

23.5k, Explicit

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Keiko O’Brien, Kasidy Yates, Kira Nerys, Ezri Dax (mentioned)

Eight months after the war ends, Julian invites Garak on a pollen-harvesting trip to Bajor. Distracted by the delight of seeing his friend after so long, Garak gets himself blasted with hormone-altering pollen, and is forced to ride out the repercussions on the runabout journey back to DS9. Symptoms include mood swings, unusual food cravings, and an urgent need for emotional assurance and physical contact. Julian is glad to offer relief, in whatever manner Garak requires. Even in the most intimate of ways...

Secretly, they both hope their brief affair in the runabout’s bottom bunk will lead to something more. But how could it, when duty forever trumps desire?

Tags: Post-Canon, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Porn With Plot, Mutual Pining, Sex Pollen, Mood Swings, Hormones, Cuddling & Snuggling, Public Display of Affection, Smut, Explicit Consent, First Kiss, Caring Julian Bashir, Hormonal Elim Garak, Horny Elim Garak, First Time, Anal Sex, Top Elim Garak, Bottom Julian Bashir, but they do switch briefly, Post-Canon Bajor, Post-Canon Cardassia, Illustrated

Notes: FYI, Julian and Ezri are no longer a couple. How that happened is discussed late in the fic, but Garak thinks they’re still dating when he and Julian sleep together for medical reasons. (Julian is NOT cheating, but Garak guiltily believes he is.)

This one’s probably an easy edit tbh. But I’m still questioning that ^ Garak-thinks-Julian-seeing-Ezri thing, so anyone who can tell me if it feels right, if I need to edit it, or if I should take it out, would be great.

3. Tail Over Heels

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Amsha Bashir, Benjamin Sisko, Ezri Dax, Miles O’Brien, Kira Nerys, and everyone else

19.9k, Mature

Despite every attempt to deter her, Julian’s mother is coming to DS9. Here’s the problem: Julian told her he was married, and he’s not. Here’s the solution: Garak stands in as Julian’s husband. She’s meant to hate him. But Garak is just too damn likable - and a liiiittle too convincing in the role of Julian’s lover. Not only does his mother believe the lie, but so does everyone else on the station. Even Julian himself is starting to wonder...

Tags: Romance, Fluff, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mistaken For A Couple, Moving In Together, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Holding Hands, Eavesdropping, Bickering, Cardassian Flirting, First Kiss, First Time, Garak has a tail, Slightly Alternate Canon, set mid season 7, or an alternate post-canon where nobody leaves

Note: This one’s the oldest and closest to being publishable, and already illustrated and lightly beta’d, so this will likely post first, before the end of March 2020. But it definitely needs another going-over.

4. Code for Consent

Elim Garak/Julian Bashir

13k, Explicit

Julian Bashir, Elim Garak, Miles O’Brien, Keiko O’Brien

With Miles away, Julian needs someone else to play the evil villain in his secret agent holosuite program. Garak steps up. But tying Julian to a bedpost and fake-torturing him turns out to be an accidental turn-on for both of them. Julian doesn’t want to break character, so allows Garak to escalate his erotic domination towards the point of no return - yet Garak won’t go any further with their roleplay without clear consent. Now Julian has to figure out a way to show Garak he wants him without saying it outright. (But then again, maybe saying it matters.)

Tags: Smut, Romance, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Holodecks/Holosuites, Roleplay, Cardassian Flirting, Accidental Stimulation, Light Bondage, Choking, Light Knifeplay, Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Roleplay, (foreplay only) - soon followed by:, Explicit Consent, Holding Hands, Making Love, Schmoop, Top Elim Garak, Bottom Julian Bashir, set late season 6

Note: Nobody’s read this yet so idk how it comes across to other people, which worries me. Something about it doesn’t sit right with me but I can’t figure it out and need help with that :/

If you’re interested in helping, please submit me a tumblr message at https://almaasi.tumblr.com/submit with your name, pronouns, a statement of your interest and email address (gmail preferred) so I can add you to google docs if I pick you c:

(also maybe a timeframe of when you’d be able to beta. starting any time in the next couple of weeks is fine.)

(disclaimer to people with anxiety: I welcome anyone <3 if you want to say hi, PLEASE DO. I reserve the right not to pick you for any number of secret reasons, and I might not reply quickly, or at all, because I have chronic fatigue and messages are A Lot for me, but it doesn’t mean I don’t like you or you did something wrong!! promise.)

#ds9 #garashir #deep space nine #star trek: deep space nine #Elmie writes things #post of postiness #betaing #The Wolf Who Cried Doctor #Runabout Rollabout #Tail Over Heels #Code for Consent

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rqs902 · 4 years ago

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enyu’s mom calls him "公子哥" is he rich or is this a JOKE LOL and his mom is at a bar IM CRYING HAHA

i just get a feeling youku eliminated shiwei for dramatic effect...

but aw xue en crying over weihao and mxy saying star master kids are all worthy to lin mo

L O L i was gonna be like oh thats nice enyu’s dad asked about his friends, he’s really been paying attention but then he starts throwing these

L O L I SEE WHERE HE GETS HIS REALNESS FROM HAHAHHAHA

LOL NOW HE KNOWS HOW IT FEELS

omg xikan wanting to call luo zheng!!!! im grateful theyre still close, theyre doing such different things now

awww mubo !!! being all supportive and protective of zuo ye

hHAHAHA omg fan yu talking on the phone to renyu is so cute, so expressive with the gasp when renyu says they just recorded elims and then the AHHHH and OH MY GOD when he says he and zaixi were eliminated and the ALSKJLAKS and loud sigh when renyu reveals he just tricked him hahahaha theyre so cute omg can fan yu pls show up at the next perf, id die

lin ran’s “new world new me” im cry

lol renyu’s getting roasted by his team mates but at least they didnt really ditch him

what is this set up anyway? theyre given a mission to leave, so theyre allowed to run around... but not? who planned this lol youku......

LOL jin fan tryin to reason why theyll be ok going to guangzhou

did their group just get special permission bc director li hao?

hahaha ayyy zhan yu jumped first, you go child! not surprised somehow that he’d love it

lin mo’s group went to the same place? LOL but also they seem so much more under control LOL such a guai group

LOL WHY ARE THEY SO LOUD HAHAHAH i dont think ive ever seen people that loud on a roller coaster LOL

LOL why am i not surprised enyu is the one carrying xzx

i cant with xzx and his heelys omg

leave it to csp to relate bungee jumping to some great deeper meaning for zlj’s personal growth hahahah but good on the kid for going through with it. interesting that zixin said he sees himself in zlj so much

HAHAHHAHA THIS FACE

when reminded he’s the hormone representative his face changed so fast im crying

ycw is laughing his butt off and i love how it says “children’s playground” in the background

when ycw gets thoroughly ignored

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA OSCAR’S SSHHHHHHHH AND XUE EN TELLS HIM TO WATCH HIS “LANGUAGE LANGUAGE” HAHAHAHHA

i just realized theres an english speaking line in this group :’) syh, xue en, oscar

awwwwwwwwww them all planning to sing him happy birthday on the dot and setting it up so he can be at the top at that moment awwww thats so fun

LOL the way that oscar cursed his way to the top and is sweating so hard LOL the poor kid omg HAHAHHA

aw he can tell syh drew the card

LOL ITS OKAY OSCAR I STRUGGLE WITH READING TOO

get you a friend like ycw who’ll tell you that you can decide how to pronounce words right, just because its your birthday

struggling to read xue en’s handwriting LOL

HHAHAHAHHAHAHA HOW DOES XZX RECOGNIZE IT’S HUANG ENYU BY FEELING HIS PECS HAHAHHAHA

i feel the need to just say huang junrong looks so adorable in his bright yellow outfit hahah

there’s two types of kids in this group: hjr and enyu screaming their butts off, and lin mo and xzx wallowing in regret of their life decisions

hjr and enyu always saying its too short when the ride ends LOL

lin mo talking real talk over dinner about their feelings BC HES A REAL LEADER and knows how important it is to address this. these concerns are obviously very present in his mind, even when theyre out having fun to relax, and he’s still trying his best to figure out how he can help them and motivate them.

makes sense that they would include enyu interview clips bc hes surely spouting the real talk, but i think its interesting its mainly him and lin mo getting screen time.

enyu would be the one to speak up and say something when lin mo is trying to talk to them though. i think theyre both right though, im guessing lin mo is in part too nice, bc he doesnt feel comfortable enough with them to be as strict as he normally is, bc he knows they have reason to not be motivated and he feels bad for them. but at the same time, he brings up a good point that they themselves need to have their own motivation. it cant just be him putting in effort. and i HUGELY respect that he is telling this to them straight up bc its a hard conversation to have, esp bc im sure he wants them to like him as a friend. but i respect that he knows if they have problems they have to air them out bc lack of communication will be too costly.

momo is lucky he has someone like enyu on his team who’ll actually talk to him with real opinions rather than just hide in fear of disrupting the status quo. literally enyu is the one voicing that he doesnt want takeout and he doesnt want to stay up late, and other people agree, but the surprise on lin mo’s face just tells you that he wouldnt have even realized these are things that are bothering his teammates unless they straight up told him, and thankfully enyu did, bc lin mo thankfully is reasonable and willing to change his habits for the sake of the group TO HELP THEM. hes willing to do anything he can to help them, as long as they tell him what they want from him. huang enyu’s lesson in communication, dont let people guess, just tell them straight up

its interesting bc its clear enyu respects lin mo a lot, says he has the experience and the skill and the right to yell at them to get it together, but hes still not afraid to tell lin mo he thinks lin mo should be more strict with them. and then i respect lin mo for not backing down when being criticized and for strongly insisting that they need to put in effort themselves too. he cant force them to do anything they dont want to do themselves. they themselves have to want to do well.

lin mo is really out here taking care of his group of children and leading them and helping them and looking out for them and im just floored by his leadership yet again. i really hope they can pull it together.

lin mo is a dork and stanning him leads to mostly either second-hand embarrassment or disappointment. from qcyn to snzm, it just always feels like he’s being mistreated and taken advantage of and stepped on, and sad things just keep happening to him. but then he has these moments where he reminds you of why he’s worth stanning. why it’s worth waiting for something good to finally actually happen. and why he deserves those good things. its just so nice to see hes getting some appreciation and recognition for the things he does. at least youku let us see his leadership in action.

totally not surprised akey is there to drive the conversation for their group’s real talk time. tyger co-leader translates clearly hahah

LOL LI HAO TOTALLY FORGOT THE SNZM DANCE LOL

im like not surprised xikan’s group got the least adventurous adventure bc hes not afraid to show how serious hes taking this competition, but also somehow still feel like hes not getting better treatment relative to being number one?? maybe im just overthinking

honestly all things considered im okay with this being the debut group

i mean i love ycw and zry but i feel like this makes sense to me.

this looks scary lol lin ran wyd

but yea even the way they framed the cliff hanger for next week... why do i just feel like xikan is not being treated with the respect he deserves??

anywayyyyyyyyyyyy for 少年營業中

LOL gz’s impression of zlj watching scary movies sounds so accurate im ded

zixin is so adorable!! i love his outfit too ahhah

LOL gz’s sassy response to zlj responding when xue en says he’s gonna talk about a cute trainee with highly regarded visuals

why am i totally not surprised xue en didnt get scared but zixin got scared AGAIN lol

why do i suddenly get the realization that we hardly ever see ycw and zlj interact

it just feels weird to see them together even tho they obviously have overlapping friend groups lol....

poor shiwei isnt even here and they keep talking about him LOL at least theyre not even really roasting him LOL ycw and yzx too nice for that

im just DYING at the cto gege’s laughing SO HARD HAHAHA

and ycw’s face LOL

xue en’s laugh made this ep worth it LOL

wow should i be happy that lin mo is finally in the next ep of this side show, or sad that jin fan never got to appear and itll be the last ep :( im also excited to see lin ran again! wow its weird to think that snzm is ending soon, it felt like the first 7 eps were like a slow burn and now its a mad rush to the end

#rants #in which i get in deep enyu and lin mo feels

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aurora-nova-fic · 6 years ago

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Deleted Scenes: Bittersweet Symphonies

I doubt I’ll be on this much all the time, but I realized this is a great way to share some deleted scenes from Bittersweet Symphonies, the conclusion to my Private Universe series. This series grabbed me and wouldn’t let go for 106k words. I adore the series, even though I now associate one of my favorite writing songs so strongly with Chapter 2 of Bittersweet Symphonies that I struggle to write anything else to it.

So, for my “yay I’m on tumblr” celebration, I present some of the scenes which didn’t make the final edit.

First up, this was originally written as the second-to-last Private Universe Snapshot:

The Interrogation

Garak left the basement to get food and was promptly accosted by Mila. “Tell me about him,” she said.

“Damar is Cardassia’s best chance, notwithstanding his past sins.” Garak would never forgive him for killing Ziyal, but he understood Damar had done so out of his sense of duty to the state. Presently, he saw no point in dredging up the past when they had a future to secure. He also knew that was unlikely to be what Mila meant, but a man could hope.

“Don’t play ignorant with me. You know perfectly well I’m not asking about Damar, and yes, I have a dampening field on. This is a private conversation.”

Really, one would have thought she’d realize now was not the time to pry into his personal affairs. The glare she fixed on him clearly conveyed otherwise. Garak had learned how to break people with his eyes from her, after all.

He gave in to the inevitable. “Julian Bashir, Chief Medical Officer of Deep Space Nine.”

“Human?” She wasn’t disgusted, merely curious.

Garak nodded.

“I’m waiting for details, Elim. I have been for years, so your dinner can wait a few more minutes.”

“It’s not my dinner I’m worried about,” he said. There was the rebellion to consider, foremost, and of course his ongoing quest to not be killed by the Dominion.

“You learned to control the malon anbar, I trust.”

Garak did not appreciate her saying the words aloud, dampening field or not. “Perfectly. And since you’re apparently willing to hold up our activities against the Dominion to satisfy your curiosity…”

“There are no activities to hold up, at the moment.”

“I was hoping to change that, but instead I’m being interrogated about my personal life.”

“I take my opportunities where I can get them.”

“Very well. If you must know, he is an exhilarating conversationalist.”

“That goes without saying, if he held your interest for any length of time.”

“He is in equal measure delightful and impossible. Would you believe he finds The Never Ending Sacrifice dull?”

Mila appeared to believe it. “I’ve always found it overrated myself. I think I like this man, Elim. Keep going.”

Garak hadn’t known she held this shocking opinion. “How can you possibly think it’s overrated?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, but you have to admit it’s predictable.”

Aghast, Garak could only wonder from where he had gotten his refined taste in literature. Tain never had time for fiction, and now Mila didn’t appreciate The Never Ending Sacrifice. Appalling. “Presuming we survive, I’ll have to give you Shakespeare. Perhaps it will be more to your liking.”

“You’re stalling again.”

Garak grew weary of her insistence. “He is so generous it can hardly be believed. He is clever and mesmerizing and from a race which glorifies tales of people from separate worlds who overcome all obstacles to be together, but I am a realist, so I know better. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a rebellion leader to motivate.” He spun around, deciding he wasn’t hungry after all.

“Elim.”

He paused and looked over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I,” he said, and went back down to the basement. If they didn’t defeat the Dominion, nothing else would matter anyway.

Why I cut it: I decided three snapshots in a row on the “they belong to different worlds” theme was a bit much, for one thing. I was also unsure if Garak was quite in character enough, though I was going for him being more open with his mother than he would be with anyone else. This was briefly the prologue for Bittersweet Symphonies, but I liked revisiting the Arwen & Aragorn bit from A Chasm in Perspective much better. Some of the dialogue made it into Garak’s flashback in the wedding scene.

Next up, a short bit from the subspace conversation where Julian tells Miles he’s an Augment.

“I hadn’t known it was possible to intimidate my father into silence. Garak is very impressive when he’s in full protective mode.” That he was protecting Julian had charmed his mother even more than it irritated his father.

“Scary as hell, is more like it. He stares at you like he’s thinking of twenty different ways to kill you and dispose of your body.”

This sounds like it’s coming from personal experience. “Something you’d like to share, Miles?”

“You remember right after your parents left, I thought I’d tease you by calling you Jules?”

“That was my name before,” Julian explains quietly. “I couldn’t tell you why it bothers me so much.”

“Sorry about that.”

“You couldn’t have known.”

“But Garak did, and it answers a mystery.”

“What mystery?” asks Julian.

“He came to our quarters and told me I was never to call you Jules again. There was no ‘or else.’ There didn’t need to be. Twenty might be too low an estimate.”

Julian is touched to learn about this unexpected display of concern. “I didn’t know he’d done that.”

“He ‘suggested’ it would be better if you didn’t. I wasn’t about to argue. Anyway, that’s when I knew he really does care about you.”

Why I cut it: Too out of character for Garak.

Here we have a little bit from the beginning of the ka’tur-routzx, the blade ritual.

Garak removes the knife he keeps strapped to his ankle and throws it Julian’s way. The toss is an easy one, spinning lazily through the air, though judging by Dax’s gasp the whole situation looks very bad from a Federation perspective. Julian grabs the hilt of the knife as it tumbles over end toward him. He can manage harder catches – the enhanced hand-eye coordination is useful – but isn’t likely to appreciate an ostentatious display of his abilities. Garak is still working on that.

“You throw knives when you love the person you just married?” O’Brien asks, incredulous.

“That’s not the ritual, it’s Elim showing off the hard work he put into my self-defense lessons.”

Julian finally agreed to the instruction after Interment Camp 371. Starfleet Medical sends its doctors out into the galaxy woefully untrained to face attackers, and Garak has long held a deep interest in keeping Julian alive. Besides, the augmentations did him little to no good when he didn’t know how to best use them to his advantage.

“I hope you practiced in the holosuites first,” says Dax.

“Fake knife, actually,” says Julian as he stands. “Are we going to perform parlor tricks, or are we going to do this?”

Oh, he is glorious. The remark is just forward and inviting enough for the situation without being too blatantly seductive in front of their guests. Garak couldn’t have come up with better himself.

Why I cut it: This one was a real kill your darlings moment, because I love, love “Are we going to perform parlor tricks, or are we going to do this?” But the scene served the line, not the other way around, and I think the final product flows better without this part.

Here’s a bit from Ezri’s POV as she and Kira leave Cardassia after the wedding.

“You and Garak really came to an understanding, didn’t you?” asks Ezri while she starts the runabout’s preflight.

“Yes,” says Nerys. “He’s done terrible things, things I could never condone. But he did them for Cardassia.”

Ezri doesn’t know why that makes Garak’s misdeeds acceptable until Nerys adds quietly, “I’ve done terrible things for Bajor.”

That… actually explains a lot.

In any event, while Ezri could never marry someone like Garak, she appreciates what Julian has with him. “They’re happy,” she says. “I’m glad something good has come of Julian leaving Starfleet. I really think he’s going to be okay. And you know, I don’t think Garak is worried about me anymore.”

“Worried?”

Ezri weighs how much she can say. “Keeping Jadzia’s secrets.”

“So she did know about the two of them.”

“Oh, yes.”

“I figured,” says Nerys. “It seemed like the kind of thing Julian would have told her.”

He had, of course, and then he and Garak developed the private universe and Jadzia was utterly fascinated by the scientific implications. When she was dying, she thought mostly about the people she was leaving behind and the child she’d never have, but she had briefly regretted that she’d never unravel the mysteries of the malon anbar. It was the only science project she thought about, at least before Julian had to remove Dax.

Ezri shakes her head. “Sorry. Memories.” She doesn’t get lost in them very often now, but it does happen, and they’re usually Jadzia’s. “Jadzia was protective of Julian’s relationship with Garak. She thought it was good for him, but she knew most people wouldn’t approve.”

“I wouldn’t have,” agrees Nerys.

Why I cut it: It didn’t fit or add much on its own, and I quickly abandoned the chapter it was going to be part of (which involved Kira collapsing and needing treatment, Julian performing another medical feat, and Garak fretting Starfleet would realize what a good doctor they’d let get away and offer Julian his commission back).

And finally, part of the epilogue which got the axe:

There’s a crate in the middle of their living room. “Is that from Mother?”

“Yes. She seems very concerned about you,” says Elim. “And after I wrote her a respectful letter promising not to let you starve, no less.”

In Cardassian terms, his mother’s habit of sending food expresses deep concern over Elim’s ability to keep him fed. “You know it’s not an insult by human standards, and I may have mentioned that you liked the marmalade she sent two care packages ago.”

Elim’s sweet tooth wins out. “I suppose there are worse problems than a spouse-mother looking to add variety to our diet,” he says, trying for more grudging than he actually manages.

The tentative rapprochement between Julian and his mother, begun on the station before the war intervened and he only rarely remembered to tell her he was still alive, is growing less tenuous. Part of this, he suspects, is that he’s no longer hiding in shame. The rest is due to her unconditional acceptance of everything: choosing to reveal his augmentations, moving to Cardassia, marrying Elim. She’s undemanding and supportive from a distance of light-years, and for the first time since he was a teenager, Julian is willing to give her a role in his life. He’s gotten in the habit of writing monthly.

They don’t speak of Father. As far as Julian is concerned, there’s no paternal relationship left to repair. Not in years, really, but the last straw was the letter he’d received after his wedding expressing Richard Bashir’s selfishness over Julian saving Kira’s life: Your mother and I could go to prison, did you even stop to think about that? As though it’s Julian’s job to protect his parents from the consequences of their actions.

The return address on the care package is Aunt Aya’s for the second box in a row. Mother has been visiting her sister for quite some time now, but Julian isn’t about to pry for details. He opens the box and sure enough, finds three jars of marmalade. Underneath them is his real prize. “Here it is. She said she was sending something to celebrate getting my license, and it arrived just in time.”

“What is that?”

“Her homemade lamb stew. She canned it for us.”

Elim is more interested in the marmalade, but he’s not about to refuse a break from ration bars.

They are better off than many people on Cardassia. Miles, Ezri, and Kira are evidently on a joint mission to ensure Julian, and by extension Elim, escape the worst of the current deprivations.

Why I cut it: This tried to cram way too much into the epilogue. If you’ve read The Tune Without the Words, you’ll see some ideas morphed into that piece.

Well, this is long and, now that I think about it, more than a bit self-indulgent, but blogs are self-indulgent by their very nature, so here it is, internet. ;)

#fanfic #garak/bashir #ds9 #deleted scene

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yvvaine · 7 years ago

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I used to ship j0nerys until s7 happened then it all ended the moment jon says”I wish you good fourtune in the wars to come” like daaamm boi that was colder than the winter winds lol so after rewatching all of the seasons I got to s6 again&i was like wtf how did I miss jonsa then I checked out both tags&I was so intrigued by the depth of all the jonsa metas all the signs I missed in the show&books(good j0nerys metas are nonexistent)I have to be anon as I fear the J/D ignorance I will receive lol

The whole season was off tbh. I mean the intro b/w the two wasnt toooo bad (they couldve set it up friends to enemies to lovers trope) but everything after that was so go damn cringe worthy

and its little things like that!!! I mean they know how to do romance (and romance in a short time frame; Talisa and Robb anyone???) Plus, the only time that specific line is said like that in the show (theres between ned and arthur, mance and baratheon) is between two enemies (and one ends up dying by the hands of the other too) like how is that not forshadowing????? the fact that he always looks constipated around her, fidgity, wanting to BLATANLY gtfo, never opens up to her (though she tries to open up to him i guess? I see her crush on him, emilia’s eyes are very expressive that way, but d e f not both ways) no real smiles, bonding, jokes, talks, passion (boatfail lmao) a good first kiss, literally anything that makes a romance, well romantic

plus, personality wise, theyre not compatiable at ALL. as danys journey goes on, she’s slowly morphing into everything she never wanted to be. blinded by power (that isnt even hers for the taking). If she had a good heart why didnt she just go to help w the night king (who is a direct threat to people she SAYS she wants to rule and has the best intent for) and deal with all the political stuff after? Cersei would still be there. When Jon had first arrived, she’d still have her alliances to go back to. Plus when he first came she hadnt gained any territory yet either. Why did she say shed only help if he agreed to her demand of subservience??? from a strictly strategical point of view, thats kinda dumb. its comeplely uneccasary from him to bend the knee for her to help. she wouldnt lose anything. in fact, if anything PR wise that wouldve been a great move for, to elimate the threat to literally everyones entire existance, claim victory in the name of westeros as the HERO of westeros, not the foreign conqoureror, and position her self as the champion of the people (compared to cersei) in the name of the people. making bending the knee a requirement for her to help was extremely unnecessary and in the end detrimental. I mean now she has nothing to go to the north in her favor for. If she went before that she’d be the benevalant queen coming to help their king bc she cared about people, and after they were triumphant he could bend the knee and i doubt anyone would complain too much once they saw that she went into the fight w/o ulterior motives etc

And anyways, how is a one sided, psuedo-subserviant relationship not toxic? How is that a relationship to look up to? What kind of role model relationship is that? a freaking bad one I dear say

and yes, the lack of metas always astounded me, even when i shipped them. I mean liked them originally bc of all the “parallels” and stuff but the more i analyzed them, it became clear that they were f o i l s, not parrallels.

I actually stumbled on jonsa by accident. As i slowly became to like Dany’s complex character not as an anti-hero figure, but as the “villian of the other side” or the accidental villian trope, it was around the time i was appreciating sansa more and more. She’s vastly underrated and underestimated both in the show and by fans outside of it, capable and smart.

The thing that struck me most out of s7 was the spoils of war episode, which focused heavily, as a minor detail, on food. At first Daenerys was complaining that she had nothing to feed her extremely large army, that Cersei was already mobolizing all the food in the reach for her own favor. Then we have cersei bragging how she’s taking all the food, basically to fortify the capital and also making it so Dany wouldnt have any, that she could starve them out so to speak. Then we have Sansa, orginizing a way that she could insure the houses under her control had enough food for themselves, but also asking them to send a fair amount to her, so when things hit the fan, these houses and the pople of the north could flee to winterfell, the largest and strongest northern base, and they’d have enough food to feed everyone already living there plus the influx of refugees despite the extremely harsh winter approaching. Then of course, we have Dany’s feild of fire 2.0 where she first went after the soldiers, then deliberately targeting the food meant to feed the people of westeros during the winter (and the food she jsut complained about needing), then back to the soldiers.

Out of all the potential queens, I made my choice there.

Jonsa snuck up on me. I so much loved their relationship in s6, it was so beautiful, the bonding, the reunion, the support of one other. I liked that they argued over legitimate differences, before settling on a choice. I read a few jonsa metas then, and at that point i was pretty much okay with either option, but once s7 came i completly and fully jumped ship so to speak. I re analyzed my take on dany, my opinion on jon’s characterization, and reaffirmed my love for sansa. I read more jonsa metas and coupled with such a warm fandom that jonsa has (we can actually debate diff point of views respectfully for one, we support each other for two - kinda like jon and sansa’s relationship lmao) alas was hooked!

Im sorry for the fear of coming off anon :/ for a while I kept my mouth shut too, and when i finally went more public I got some similar treatment so I entirely understand

#jonsa #anti-jonerys #anti-daenerys

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cyrelia-j · 7 years ago

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[Fic] Inside a Dream III (Garak/Bashir)

Took a bit to think more on where I was going with this and it's probably slow burn which I don't normally do because I'm impatient haha. #rd chapter of this bittersweet sad thing. If you need a refresher,

Part 1 and Part 2

Still AU but not really an AU set at the end of everything show/books. Angst, Drama, Romance, falling in love [again maybe] but lots of angst and bittersweetness to be had, This next part is based off My Chemical Romance's “The World Is Ugly”.

Brief note on other pairings: You can read Kelim into this (especially from the first 2 chapters- no decisions made on whether that avenue will be pursued) ALSO, past Julian/Jack Pack (Jack, Lauren, Sarina, Patrick in some form or another but nothing explicit)

The world is ugly

But you’re beautiful to me

Well are you thinking of me now (now)

“Do you ever dream of outer space, Garak?” Julian is seated on a plastic milk crate out back behind the old Goodwill. There was a cigarette in his hand but he put it out when he saw Garak approaching him. He had to apologize, tell him that he didn’t have long to chat. He was surprised that Garak had found him here as well but it was a pleasant surprise. Garak had let him know one of the ladies inside had said he could find his friend here. Julian let him know that he only had fifteen minutes before he had to get back. He was proud to tell him that he was making progress, that he thought he might be able to move himself to an apartment with a proper kitchen, a place where he might be able to have Garak over. Doctor Parmak had praised him for his progress. In the end, Julian wasn’t surprised that Garak had found him. Somehow he knew that the two of them would meet again.

Julian remembered his notebook today so that he could be sure to capture anything that Garak said and not forget. He has it open looking at Garak excited. It doesn’t feel so cold today to him; he’s wearing a blue sweater and pair of faded jeans. He doesn’t like it but he’s also wearing his glasses so that he can read the numbers on the register properly. Garak is wearing the same wool coat and took a seat next to Julian without care for any dirt or possible snags.

“I hope you don’t laugh at me. I feel like someone’s father in these things,” he said pushing them back on his face when Garak had seen them. Garak looked at him long and hard before saying that no, he thought they suited Julian just fine. It wasn’t quite what he was expecting; Julian somehow thought that Garak had spent a lifetime teasing him before now. But there was something nice about this too.

“What did you want to talk about today, Julian?” Garak had asked him. “We used to have a lot of invigorating discussions over lunch.” Julian had instinctively leaned into him and maneuvered his head to Garak’s shoulder.

‘’fraid I just got a fifteen since this is part time but... but I’ll try to be invigorating.” He laughs softly. “Think all the vigor might have gone out of me when my head got cracked open.”

“Never,” Garak declares definitively and Julian smiles at that.

“It’s strange,” he says opening his notebook seeing the letter “DS” and the number “9” written to the most recent page. Julian doesn’t see well enough for long periods to draw but he’d managed to sketch out a small little doodle of a wheel in space with four prongs around it. “You see this here?”

“Sometimes I dream of a space station far away from here. I think it started when I met you, you know.” Garak places his thumb over one of the sketches station prongs and Julian gasps. “Yes, yes that’s it! But how did you-” He turns and looks at Garak confused. “Can you… can you see inside my dreams or… or is this like from a… television program maybe?” Garak moves his thumb from the page and instead takes Julian’s hand.

“It would be to your detriment were I to tell you everything. I’m certain that my perceptions and memories might color your own in remembering. Do you… remember anything else from your… dream, Julian?” Garak asks him and Julian closes his eyes trying to remember. It’s difficult because there are so many images when he lets his mind drift. Sometimes when he shuts his eyes too long he starts to see fire and explosions and hear screams and people dying around him.

But not today. Today with Garak he doesn’t see any of those images that make his head spin and make him nauseous.

“Alright. You’re right I can… um… right, I can picture them now. It’s... it’s strange... because I always see the same people. There’s a woman with these lines on her nose, a woman with spots along her face, a man with curly brown hair, a man with a funny looking head, a man with a mountain range on his forehead, a man with a washed over face like he’s got a stocking over his head or something and then… Then there’s a man there. He’s tall, he’s bald, he wears a red uniform and I... I feel like I want to call him father. Or maybe it’s that... I feel like... like I wonder what my life would have been like if... if a man like him was my father and not... ah well you don’t need to know about my father. I’ve never done anything but disappoint my father.” Julian laughs softly. “Can you believe that… that of everything I’ve forgotten I still remember… being a child… being… being institutionalized because there was something wrong with my head?”

Garak is silent a moment before he squeezes Julian’s hand.

“I know,” he answers softly.

“He hasn’t come to see me either… no one… no one else came once Sarina left but... but I suppose I can’t blame him. I must have been an awful burden when I was younger but I know that I used to be a doctor... Oh well, of course you know that. Stupid, Julian,” he whispers to himself closing his eyes tighter. “Sorry, you know I have good days and bad days and I... do you think that I... that I could ever be what I was?” Julian asks him opening his eyes again, staring hard at the cracks in the blacktop. “I’m afraid.” He’s said it to Doctor Parmak, but there’s finality in making such a confession to Garak. Doctor Parmak didn’t know him before he was... broken. Garak did. “I’m afraid that I’ll never be what I once was... that it will never come back.”

“It will come back, Julian.”

“Right, of course, that’s what they keep telling me but… I keep feeling like I’ve lost something terribly important. Like there’s something not right and I…” Julian turns, looking Garak in the eyes and he remembers again how beautiful and blue they are- like they could drown him, like Garak’s mouth is the most beautiful thing when it’s curled to some lie and… he doesn’t understand these thoughts. “I...” He feels that he’s always loved Garak’s mouth and then he realizes that he’s leaning in with a tilt of his head and… and something so intimate as a kiss should spark some memory... but it doesn’t... but he feels as this is what should be happening and he doesn’t understand why his mouth is so dry and his hands are starting to shake and Garak isn’t moving and Julian feels so confused because he wants this more than anything and-

“I never meant to hurt you,” he says with a stop, minutes to midnight short his mouth in that uncrossable gap to Garak’s. Julian doesn’t understand why he says that. He’s sure there’s a reason but-

But his watch is beeping and he’s sure he’s making an awful break but he has to get back because… because…

—

Garak is breathing hard, the memories swirling in his head as the time is up and the room snaps back to its reality. He thinks how Guls damn lucky that Julian is to be sitting in that odd fantasy world dreaming of that thing called television and worrying of nothing else but his imagined service job. Garak can’t do this anymore. He can’t. He can’t look at Julian and see those hazel eyes flicker with him grasping, searching, like Garak is meant to give him something that he no longer has to give. He can’t go through Julian’s push and pull and beautiful neck, pained expression like everything Garak says wounds him. Those words haunt him, along with Julian’s expression of betrayal when he looked at Garak. “no one else came once Sarina left…”And Julian didn’t even have the spirit left to ask him. Why didn’t I come to see you? Why did I abandon you here? That’s what the real Julian would have said to him. The real Julian would have joked, would have made some smart remark and he wouldn’t have stared at him like a glassy eyed doll and apologize for some imagined transgression.

That man wasn’t his Julian if there ever was a “his Julian”.

Garak stands up straight from where he’s been bent over, breathing hard with a soft curse. He blinks at the knock at the door. Surely Parmak wouldn’t knock? But he sees Parmak’s head duck in as the door opens.

“My apologies, Elim for the ahh breaking of our convention but there was a visitor here who I felt we would benefit from speaking with and I shouldn’t think to push you into something you’re not ready for. That is if you’re not up to it since these visits seem to drain you so…” There’s a bit of a rustle as Parmak’s head turns to the side and Garak rubs at his face.

“It’s fine, Kelas.” Garak removes the coat, the garment stifling in the warm room. He drapes it over the back of the bed from where Julian is laying still dreaming. “Does this have anything to do with the upcoming-” Garak stops when he sees exactly who it is that enters the room after Parmak and he freezes. Garak doesn’t forget faces. He doesn’t forget names. He especially doesn’t forget figures who make his threat senses rise to dangerous levels. That’s the only reason that he really remembers the man beyond Julian’s offhanded mention and stories. He hadn’t chanced upon the man much on the station, only a few times in passing but even that was enough. He was the most dangerous of the lot of the augments that were brought by that doctor. He was the one with the furtive, darting eyes. He was the one with the enhanced strength and speed and eyes that said he might any moment decide in his madness that there was an immediate threat that needed to be taken out. He was clever and bright, and a man that Julian never seemed to have the sense to be afraid of.

The name was simple to remember; it was Jack. Just Jack- like plain simple “Garak”; and like Garak there was nothing plain or simple about him. When Garak watches him step confidently into the room, he reassesses that threat level and determines it’s just as high as before if not higher. He’s thankful for the disruptor pistol by the bed in the top drawer of the dresser. Of course Parmak has said that the device- that the technology allowing them to project the space of Julian’s mind to the room- was from Jack but that doesn’t mean Garak had ever expected to see him in person. He rather thought that the gift was in lieu of his ever coming to Cardassia Prime. Jack has no reason to visit Julian that he knows of. They were never that close that he recalls. Not the way that Julian was with-

“Messy messy, Jubilee,” Jack says, walking right past him to where Julian’s lying on the bed. “Christ, how many times did I tell you, tell you to run for it like the rest of us, turn around, don’t come back hm? RPM could’ve left ‘em all behind but not you, you had to save every dumb fuck in that asylum, didn’t you? And then zap when your brain, McMurphy...” Garak watches him, hearing the words, knowing from what little recollection he has that Jack was one of the “defective” ones. He was one of the augments that didn’t make it. The affection is strange. Julian had written Garak once regarding them, nearly as an afterthought. It had simply said that “the others” had made progress, that they were able to integrate and that was the end of it. Jack is looking at Julian muttering things that sound like nonsense about Jack being the one who should’ve broken his crown not Jill but-

Garak is distracted as he watches Jack occasionally... vibrate, his hand up the side of Julian’s face as he insults him a million times in two different languages. Garak remembers that Jack is the same age as Julian but he looks years younger. His hair is the same messy auburn as before though vanity might play some part there. Garak doesn’t see any gray in his mustache, in that patch below his mouth but again there’s much to be argued for vanity versus genetics. His eyes were a similar hazel to Julian’s but wild, uncertain, and though there’s a black patch over his left eye, his right appears more settled. His mouth is turned down in a frown, he’s still dressed in a long coat and a buttoned up vest as if the temperature doesn’t bother him, smartly dressed, really as he stands there. He doesn’t have any weapons but then again a man engineered to be a weapon wouldn’t need them.

Parmak is still hanging back next to Garak and it seems they both sense some intimacy that they hadn’t realized before. Jack is still looking at Julian shaking his head before it snaps up to Garak without warning. That erratic turn isn’t quite what it once was. It’s tempered and Garak notices black leather gloves on his hands as he stops himself from raising a finger to his mouth.

“He’s still out. He’s still dead and damned to the world, still sleeping like Endymion so why did I bother giving you the device if you weren’t gonna pull him out? You were supposed to pull him out you were supposed to bring him back to me! Do you like keeping him here!? Are you trying to steal him for yourself?! Well too late that ship sailed so why isn’t he-” Jack catches himself, taking a deep breath, head back, voice dropping back from that yell to his normal cadence. “I thought you would have brought him back by now,” he repeats though it’s clear that the steady voice is a strain.

Garak takes a wary step forward careful to maintain the range just out of reach that he gauged. Jack is faster than Julian was, possibly better reflexes, surely faster than Garak at his age but he doesn’t sense a threat just... the agitation that one would have for a-

“Why do you mean you thought I would have brought him back by now? He’s in a coma, as you can quite clearly see and I assure you that reality does not mold itself to whatever human fairytales you’ve woven into this.” Or whatever other illusions he’s clearly dreamed of Julian and the rest of them. That’s what it is, surely it’s an illusion that he’s manifested. He isn’t well, just as mad as ever, Garak decides.

“Ha! Right! Exactly!” Jack exclaims, raising a finger dramatically. He takes a step but there’s another breath and again he holds back, snapping his hands behind his back. “Right, exactly the fairy tale and in this Talia needs the king, no wait, not the king, the king knocked her up and it was the suckling babe that woke her no no, you’ve got it wrong mmhm we need a different-”

“Jack,” Parmak interrupts gently with a stupidly fearless step forward. Parmak is the one who puts a hand to Jack’s shoulder with that look that could calm the fiercest and wild hound. “Take a breath Jack, I fear you’ve confused Elim and myself as well and ah… you know that us basics, you say? We need a few more steps to catch you. Is that alright, Jack? Can you give us a few more steps so that we might catch you?” Jack blinks at him from that eye, carefully unfurling his arms, stretching them in front, nodding definitively drawing a breath. Garak swears that if Parmak had the stomach for it he’d have made a fine interrogator and as if reading that thought, Parmak stares at him with a disapproving frown and a sigh.

“I shall endeavor to be silent and allow the man to say his piece,” Garak says, deciding to leave the pistol. For now.

“Right, of course, you’re limited so, layman’s terms, dial it back mmhm,” Jack says softly, his breaths erratic but slowing. “So, we have a theory- the rest of us do- that the closest one, can bring him back. He’s back there buried, hiding half broken, not his fault though the Lethean attack weakened him. Pity, poor thing he might’ve just been missing an eye here.” Jack laughs awkwardly.

“I’m sorry,” Garak says already breaking that vow to silence, ignoring Parmak’s look to keep it. “It was my understanding that Julian’s mental state is the result of watching that woman taking her own life.” Parmak is glaring at him mouthing that Sarina Douglas wasn’t “that woman” but “Julian’s wife”. Well she’s dead now so it hardly matters what she was in life because in death she’s nothing but a woman who wouldn’t even visit Julian’s head in whatever dreamworld he’s fallen into. And Garak needs information and that is the mission at hand now that he finally has something to work with. He sees Jack twitch again, another of those laughs before he crosses his arms, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Heh, au contraire mon frere, as the saying goes. You think, you really think this… that this man, this agent, this extra sensitive bean who seen death, war, torture, friends snuffed out like candles -all that good ultraviolent stuff- couldn’t handle that hm?”

“I wouldn’t think so either from what I’ve seen, but then again I’ve had plenty of opportunity to witness the breaking point of many an “unbreakable” man.”

“Ah, unbreakable, but not Bashir, not Julian, not my Annabel Lee here…”

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that your contingent was less connected by similar genetic enhancements and more by carnal knowledge,” Garak snaps starting to wonder if everyone in the galaxy as had Julian but him. Amazingly Jack doesn’t rise to that antagonism, instead turning back to Julian looking down.

“T’was many and many a year ago, in a kingdom by the sea… Ah right, limited lizards, limited lizards, hm, slow it down Jack. But you know it really was the wind that came out of the cloud by night. When Sarina had taken down the system it activated…” He trails off a moment before whispering almost too soft for Garak to hear but he heard it nonetheless. “…chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.”

“The system running Section 31? I thought that woman, was the only one affected.”

“She was,” Jack agrees with an emphatic nod of his head. “But you don’t… you don’t understand how we’re connected.”

“I’d rather not,” Garak says flatly. Jack ignores him.

“It’s the killswitch, mmhm, that’s what the told us. One of us turns against the mainframe it takes us all out at once.” And then it all makes sense when Jack taps to his eye and Garak looks at Julian. The Lethean attack was a psychic attack that would have damaged Julian’s ability to resist future assaults. Julian had told him then that no one had ever survived an attack and Garak sees now it must have been like a snake bite. Once bitten, forever weakened. Which means that-

“Ah, not so limited after all! I see the dots connecting, Castellan. You got it, there’s hope for you yet, mmhm. Exactly! Ashes ashes... we all fall down.”

(Next chapter, the mystery of what happened to all of them and this dream world is revealed! Chapter 4 now posted HERE)

#star trek ds9 #star trek deep space nine #ds9 fanfic #post canon #Garak/Bashir #garashir #Julian Bashir #elim garak #kelas parmak #ds9 jack #angst #romance #fanfic #update #cyrelia-j

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pensivetense · 3 years ago

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@themadcapmathematician your wish is my command

I actually have two of these. I picked the worse one :)

Here is a fact:

Elim Garak is a good tailor. He could hardly be anything less. He knows all about self-image; what is portrayed and what is meant and how to manipulate perception. He also has a quick and precise eye for measurements, and if it had been used to identify targets and evaluate threats, well, that didn't matter.

Here is a lie:

Elim Garak is a tailor. He is not, and would not be even if he never again set foot on Cardassia. There are times, late at night when he closes or early in the morning as he opens, when he looks around his little, tidy shop and laughs, madly and helplessly and with no small helping of bitterness, at the absurdity of it. Once he even did it out loud, softly, but quieted as the sardonic sound muffled silent against rows of fabric.

Here is a truth:

The suit jacket (Cardassian grey) that he threw at the Doctor on his fist visit to the shop was his exact size. It would have looked good on him. After the Klingons had left and the Doctor had as well, he picked it up from the table where it had landed and smoothed it out, hung it back up. He touched the inner lining, briefly, and idly wondered if the Doctor had in fact tried it on.

Here is a fact:

Deep Space Nine is too cold for a Cardassian. He manages well enough, for the most part; wearing layers and thin thermal undergarments of his own design. He thinks his facial ridges and fingertips haven't been fully warm since the withdrawal. His eyes have fared less well. He can't wear sunglasses all the time. When he retires to his quarters at night, dimly lit, he runs his fingers over his eyelids and wonders when it became so hard to see the shapes and textures of the fabrics that lay untidily about.

Here is a lie:

Garak didn't know what he was saying when he was in withdrawal. He knew. And there was some deep, spiteful part of him that meant every word.

Here is a truth:

Sometimes he is afraid because he forgets to hate Deep Space Nine.

Having Les Miserables feels at two am. Gonna plug in my old phone and see if any of the fic in the notes app is salvageable.

#this is so disjointed I don’t even—#to be fair the other was just me worldbuilding Cardassia III #also:#hell yeah lego movie fic rights!#that was such a short-lived but fun fandom

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dwtspd · 8 years ago

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Dancing with the Stars S24 Week 2 recap

Who will suffer the week 2 curse of suddenly having only 1 week of training? Who will be the first to go home? Typical week 2 questions.

Not much of an opening number, so they compensated with streamers.

Nancy and Artem - Chacha First rehearsal breakdown of the season...sort of...Nancy just isn’t used to getting compliments. She had some missteps in the beginning, and she was a bit dainty for a party dance like the cha cha. It was a decent dance though. Also, first mic malfunction of the season. 7-7-7-7 T28

Erika and Gleb - Foxtrot Is that Erika’s matte lambhorgini? I thought the balance between sensual and foxtrot was nicely achieved. Good choreography from Gleb. Erika hit some nice lines, but she also looked a bit stiff some times. The ending was a bit underwhelming choreo-wise. Handcuff was a funny touch. 7-7-7-7 T28 Len brings his “sevehhhn!” and Julianne and Bruno do their best to copy.

Aaaand congrats Gleb, his wife is expecting a baby girl! In true DWTS fashion, they gift him a sparkly pink baby romper.

Also can I say Erika looks quite nice in light pink and nude lipstick.

LOL at Chris sliding up to Heather when she had to stand on camera alone! That was cute.

Charo and Keo - Paso Doble Charo knows flamenco steps and has spanish heritage, so she was really excited to do the paso. I felt like she was getting swallowed by her fluffy skirt which didn’t give us a good view of her movements. It was very dramatic, I’ll give her that. What was that about Bruno’s accent? 6-6-7-6 T25 I think Julianne’s 7 is a bit high.

Nick and Peta - Foxtrot Peta’s dress has such a lovely colour that didn’t look as nice under the deep yellow lighting. I can see Nick trying, but he was a bit flat footed and during the faster parts he looked quite lost. I don’t think the song was good for a foxtrot, plus Peta did pack a lot content in there, so he could have been overwhelmed. Peta is kinda optimistic in suggesting a couple made on The Bachelor would survive long enough to have a kid but ehh ok. 7-5-7-6 T25

Heather and Alan Bersten - Jive So Alan is our de facto replacement for male pros who get injured in week 2. Maks looked like he pulled something, though they never specified what his injury was. I wanted to scream at him through the computer screen and tell him “SIT DOWN GODDAMMIT YOU’RE JUST GIVING YOURSELF MORE PAIN”. That was a good jive. Yes the hip hop part in the middle wasn’t necessary but I feel like it got added in so heather didn’t have to learn to dance with Alan that much. Len overreacted a little. Heather’s foot looked floppy in one of the kicks but I think it’s her boot preventing her from pointing fully. Bruno and CAI give contrasting comments and Heather seems a bit confused. 8-6-8-8 T30

Bonner and Sharna - Viennese Waltz Yes I know they have good chemistry, you didn’t need that invasive opening camera angle to tell me that. Bonner was good in this dance - his movements were very smooth and he had a good frame. The dance somehow felt very short though. Nothing outstanding, but it’s a marked improvement from last week. Apparently to Bonner the VWaltz is similar to the Texas two-step which is popular in his hometown, and he throws a shout-out to his uncle. 8-6-8-7 T29

Damn, Bonner has a really nice dreamy voice.

Simone and Sasha - Cha cha I’m pretty sure Sasha can hold a handstand but he’s being funny. “You strut better than me” hahaha. Simone hasn’t had much experience being sexy but she came out and had fun. She throws her arms a bit far back sometimes - common gymnast thing. 7-7-7-8 T29 Not as good at last week, but I’m still rooting for this couple.

Chris and Witney - Jazz when I saw Chris in the newsboy cap (which suits him btw) I thought this would be an old-timey diner kind of jazz. Instead we got some BTS-of-an-old-overbudgeted-movie-set...which was pretty fun too. 6-5-6-5 T22

Normani and Val - Chacha yo, flying between Asia and America is crazy, and going into Pacific time zone is the worst. I’ve done it before. Hope Normani takes a good long nap right now. I kinda hate that stage where the live viewers can crowd around because their hands block the dancer’s legs. For the first half I saw mostly just Normani and Val’s torsos. Keeping the dance within a small area was a good move given their schedule this week. Whatever cha cha I saw was also really good. 8-8-8-8 T32

Rashad and Emma - Viennese Waltz Rashad continues to impress with his capability. The music ended kinda abruptly, and I felt like sometimes their movements was a tad small and not as sweeping as a VWaltz would be. It wasn’t THAT steamy Bruno - have you forgotten the shower dance??? Great that Rashad could come out and be vulnerable like that. 8-8-8-8 T32

Mr T and Kym - Paso doble Of course we need to have a paso to Eye of the Tiger from someone who was on Rocky III. Also, nearly a year ago we had an octacage built on the dance floor, now we have a boxing ring, and both dances were pasos about fighting. I feel like Mr T was thinking a bit too hard, some of his moves looked a bit hesitant. Good improvement timing wise. This man is so humble. 6-5-6-5 T22

David and Lindsay - Cha cha I wish this dance was jazz instead of cha cha so they could go all-out with the jazz funk and hip hop. BUST A MOVE!!! LMAO at David in the funky tights and bright yellow tank top. The Gramps looked awkward doing some of the steps and his legs were turned in. Yay Apolianne throwback! Can’t believe it’s been ten years. Also these last few dances felt really really short 7-6-7-7 T27

And now for the first elimination. ...and we are down to Charo and Chris. Going home is...Chris. Aw man, first elim always sucks. Poor Chris didn’t even have a lot of time to talk because they were pressed for time.

Next week is “Vegas Night”??? I think? What does that mean?...

That’s another week. If you have anything you wanna say, my inbox is always open!

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salfordelim · 4 years ago

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Neil’s Reflections

It’s not always wise to comment on other people’s politics, especially when you are separated by a couple of thousand miles. But some things seem strange.

I think it’s strange that Christians would want to support the re-election of the existing American President. But it’s more than strange. I think it’s dangerous when they suggest that he is God’s man for the moment. At that point it feels that the Church has lost the right to speak any semblance of truth to power. Once you blend in with the existing culture, don’t be surprised if people can’t see that you are standing for anything distinctive. Don’t be surprised if they reject your stories about Jesus.

It’s not always easy standing apart from the existing culture. It can feel very uneasy. But it’s vital because Christians have to stay attached to a radically different story otherwise you will end up with a confused faith cut off from the power of the Spirit.

It might be irreverent but I wonder whether someone should produce Luke’s account of the early church in Acts as a farce. In chapter 14, there’s a moment when Paul and Barnabas are mistaken for the Greek gods Zeus and Hermes. A whole city are beside themselves in excitement when they thing these gods have come to earth in flesh. The temple priest arrives ready to place wreaths on their heads and sacrifice bulls to them.

Paul and Barnabas struggle to explain that they have got the story wrong. They run onto the crowd, tearing their clothes, trying to explain that they are humans, and that far from coming to receive this worship, they’ve come to put a stop to it all. They are here to tell a completely different story. A better story. One that doesn’t include gods who terrorise humans, use violence to get their way, and keep people terrified of them.

Sometimes it’s hard to stop people getting the wrong end of the stick. They tried really hard, but had ‘difficulty keeping the crowd from sacrificing to them’, though that seems to have been achieved when some Jews who spent all their time following Paul and Barnabas around the region stirring up trouble arrive.

They were much better at getting the crowd to change their minds. They persuade the crowd that Paul was not only a man, but he was a bad man. He needed to be put to death. So the crowd put their sacrifices and massive differences to one side, pick up rocks, stone Paul, drag him outside the city and leave him for dead.

Paul has united pagans and Jewish monotheists: they both agree that it would be better if Paul was dead. All because he refused to accept the sacrifices from those who thought he was a Greek God and refused to stop talking to Jews about the Messiah Jesus.

No wonder that Paul’s message to the churches was ‘we must go through many hardships to enter the kingdom of God’. (v 22). It’s not easy to stand apart from the crowd. It’s not easy to stand for truth. It’s not easy to tell people about a whole different story. It’s not easy to be rejected.

But it is the way of Jesus. Whoever is standing for election.

Interview

This week’s interview is with Steve Hollick. Steve is part of the Governing Body, but along with Clare, more importantly is a parent to two rather wonderful lads. In this interview he talks about his own experience of growing up as the son of a pastor as well as the joys and challenges of being a parent of teenagers.

Connecting

1. Our Gatherings

Speaking Confidently – Wednesday 16 September at 7.30pm

Before lockdown we did some sessions on public speaking – especially in a church context. There will be another session on this which will pick up where we were but will also offer a chance for people to ‘have a go’ and get some feedback. If you came to those session, it’d be great if you come along to this.

The session will be on Wednesday 16 September at 7.30pm

Link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/86969818407 Meeting ID: 869 6981 8407

Sunday gathering

The link to this Sunday’s Gathering is here:

https://us04web.zoom.us/j/836810848 Meeting ID: 836 810 848

In order to make sure that we keep everyone safe, we will use the waiting room option in Zoom. It means that when you connect you will just have to wait a moment till you are admitted to the service. Could you help us by making sure that your Zoom name on the screen has your name – rather than iphone, for example. Thanks

Or you can join us live on YouTube.

2. Prayer Ministry on Sundays

After each Sunday service, the prayer team will be available to pray for those needing support in breakout rooms on Zoom. You can either let Ian know in advance or just wait around after the service.

If you have prayer requests but don’t want to be prayed with, you can also let Ian know and the prayer team will use that time to pray on your behalf.

3. Stay Connected: ‘Virtual Coffee Morning’ – Wednesday 10.30-11.30am

A Wednesday morning is the ideal time to catch up with people, have a brew, even involve yourself with a quiz. So, whilst it’s not as good as being together in person, there’s an opportunity to do it all online.

Meeting link: https://zoom.us/j/94930624852?pwd=dlI0SnhwY3RaNnUrUGpSMTkrWm5hZz09

4. House Groups – Thursday 7.45-9.00pm

If you haven’t been part of them yet, now’s a great time to join in.

The link: https://us02web.zoom.us/j/998857193

5. Non-Zoom Prayer Meeting

On Friday 10.30-12.00 there’s a prayer meeting in a non-Zoom meeting! Using Whatsapp, contact Corinne Baines or Gill Oldham or Neil and they’ll make sure you are able to connect.

If in doubt

All the links to the meetings are in Church Suite and on the ‘Calendar’ section of our church website: http://www.salfordelimchurch.org/events/

6. You’re not alone

If you need help and don’t know where to turn, you are always welcome to contact Neil on 07771 558058

7. Giving

Thanks to all of you who give regularly. If you want to make a gift to the church you can transfer money direct to the bank account. Here are the details: EFGA Salford Elim: 60-05-16; 18523781.

And if you would like to give to The Vine, the account is The Vine; 60-05-16; 18523811.

8. Coming Up

Men Walking Together

We wanted to – but in line with the changes and the specific advice from the government against doing this, we feel the responsible thing is to postpone this until it is possible. We will do this walk – just not now!

Alpha Course

As most of you will know, The Alpha Course is designed for those who want to explore the Christian faith in a relaxed environment where no questions are off limits. We are going to offer two opportunities before Christmas via Zoom to do Alpha; one on a Tuesday evening and the other on a Thursday afternoon.

This isn’t aimed at those of us who already know the basics of faith but we do want to strongly encourage you to invite family members, friends, work colleagues, neighbours, (anyone!) who isn’t yet a Christian.

Sharing faith can be hard for most of us but this is an easy way to do it. You never know, they might say yes!

Here’s a promo video for Alpha which you might want to share with those you invite:

Here are the Zoom links for the courses:

Tuesday Alpha: https://zoom.us/j/92563386833?pwd=OUFyS2x3UW9pL2NnVENzUTJNRkt0UT09

Thursday Alpha: https://zoom.us/j/96790307723?pwd=TjVNZmp6U0xtY3dXNnpLZFFPeHNaQT09

Please pray:

For those who have already agreed to come

For those you will invite

For Judith and Ian as they lead the course

Every Week You get Prayed For!

This is just to remind you that every week the whole church is prayed for – by name. At the beginning of the lockdown, everyone who was on ChurchSuite was contacted by one of the pastoral team to make sure you had enough support. And in different ways that is continuing. Of course, you may have decided at the time that you would be ok and so didn’t really connect much. BUT… be assured you have been prayed for by name every week by the pastoral team.

I don’t take that for granted. It’s great to know that we belong to a church that supports one another in lots of ways, not least prayer.

From time to time, you might want to thank them!

Debbie King

Ian Peacock

Julian Gittings

Gill Oldham

Lorna Plura

Charlie Blundell

Paul King

Alex McGregor

Maggie Hudson

Janet Downs

Judith Thompson

Nev Plura

Links and Resources

1. Kids Resources

Here’s this week’s Kids Resources from Morag, with a variety of videos, crafts and other useful to help your child/ren read and learn from this week’s Bible passage.

2. Help For Living

Care for the Family have been providing resources and events for many years that give people hope and ideas to make life better. During the autumn they will all be online. Details are here: https://www.careforthefamily.org.uk/events/events-online

If you want help with parenting, singleness, marriage, living confidently, I would definitely recommend you having a look. All from the comfort of your own home.

#Salford #Elim #Church

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survivor-kalymnos · 5 years ago

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Finale - “Yikes on bikes!!!!” - Michele

Rain

Franco, I’m so sorry. Listen, I love you so much. So much. But I need you to know that my game will not be ruined. I will not be destroyed or knocked down because I could not save you. I am going to rise. I am going to adapt and overcome, I’m going to outlast. I’m going to make you proud that I was your ally in the first place. At this point, I see my final 3. I want to be there with Worm and Lenny. Worm and Lenny have not only been my allies, they’ve been my friends. I trust them, even if we haven’t always voted together, to tell me the truth. And I think each of us could win at FTC. I think my ideal elim order goes like this: Dusty Frank Michele at f4. I need to win a challenge. I need to prove to the others that I am here to play and I’m here to win. People are underestimating me as not a threat, but they don’t understand that I’ve won twice and made FTC 5 or 6 times. They don’t understand that I know what the fuck I’m doing and that I can win if I just put my mind to it. The thing I’m concerned about going into the end here is Jury Management tm. It has been... less than ideal. And I just betrayed my closest ally, rip. So it’s time to put in the work, Rain, otherwise the jury is going to be raining on my parade in just three short rounds.

Michele

EVEN RAIN VOTED FRANCO OUT SKSKSKSKSKSKS!!!!!!

Michele

I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders with Francos departure! I believe the tribe can be at peace for at least for a moment

Dusty

Good morning all! Last night Franco went home without a hitch. And now here we are at final 6. Yesterday Worm informed me that himself, Lenny, and “Ratchele” were in an alliance, but Worm was flipping on Michele. Michele ended up staying so I wonder what this means for that alliance. Will the three of them stick together and take out the rest of us? Or are the lines broken? One things for sure is that I hope I win immunity so that I can save my idol for something else. I’m sticking loyal to Frank and Lenny, but I’m not sure if Lenny will want to stick with the two of us. In the case that the trio does stay solid then that just leaves Rain for us to work with. We could try to force a flip with a tie or use an idol. But before I start planning any crazy ideas I gotta talk to everybody and see how we’re feeling.....but of course it’s almost noon and no one else has spoken.... :)

Michele

Yikes on bikes!!!! There goes my plan to get Dusty out this round. Sorry Rain or Frank, process of elimination points to y’all.

lennyt

his is either going to be a really easy vote or complete chaos. Probably chaos. Yeah. 99% going to be chaos.

Michele

As long as I make it to the jury vote thats a win in my book! Looking around me I honestly don’t see myself winning the vote, but as long as I make it to the top thats enough for me!

Frank

It’s so quiet and that scares me. It is Easter so people could be quiet due to that but there is also quarantine so I don’t think people are spending too much time with family. 6th place is my brand but I don’t want to it be Frank’s brand. I think I have people I trust but I haven’t heard a name yet. Rain and I have actually spoken this round and I think we’re good but we’re not working together so they can go. Either rain or worm ideally but michele can also go and I won’t be too upset.

Dusty

Feeling like a frog on a log cuz I’ve got a immunity tonight. Which means I’ve got my idol to play around with. Of course I can save it for next week to ensure a spot in the final 4, but tonight if frank is in danger of going home I might have to pull it out. My fear right now is the alliance between Lenny, Michele, and Worm. Now I know last round Worm was ready to flip on michele, but wince he voted for Franco it’s very possible Worm still wants to work with Michele. My target this round is Worm because if he’s here then I’m not sure where I stand with Lenny and Michele. I think what I’m gonna have to do here is get Rain on our side of the vote, and just hope that Rain isn’t in tight with that 3 or that Lenny and Michele don’t retaliate next round.

lenny

we're in a stick sitch rn. I am hoping that the og nera crew can vote off frank tonight but if we do, that leaves dusty and I don't know if they'll trust me if I vote off their ally. That being said, idk who else to vote. I also don't know who to trust rn. I just want to make it to f3 so I can see what this thing Franco gave me is. Also, dusty may have an idol........ again? seriously?!

michele

i dont like dusty. hes trying to stir the pot and its coming off as villain trope.

michele

dusty youre trying way too hard!!!!!!!!! you me lenny frank f4 isnt happening!!!!!! hes lucky he has an idol and is basically guaranteed final 4. I hope its me him lenny and worm!

michele

do you ever just tell someone youve been moving apartments for 3 days straight and youre exhausted and then they keep bombarding you with game questions and exaggerated info to stir the pot....thats dusty.

Worm

So I feel like I'm in a weird purgatory kind of place. I feel like I kind of got put into a goat position. I have both Michele and Rain coming to me and telling me that they want me in the final 3 with them. Now I'm honestly flattered but I feel like they want me there because they think they can beat me. I'm hoping though that because Eliza and Franco are both on the jury I have a good chance of them supporting me and maybe rallying for vote for me.I still think I have a chance of winning but I wont deny that other people still playing have much more obvious game that are easier to see from a jurors point of view. I'm kinda happy though that I was able to get into an alliance again of Michele, Lenny, and Rain especially after all the hecticness of last round. It seems as though that Michele and I have also been able to patch up everything even though I told her I was voting her out lol. But right now I do feel like she is my closest ally but I also think that I'm not the only one saying that. I honestly don't know who to trust in this game but hopefully if I survive this vote I can get some clarity of who is on my side. Michele did tell me that Dusty was stirring that pot with her and trying to get her to mistrust me but all of our dirty laundry is aired out so I'm hoping that it just fell on deaf ears. I do think that for the first time in this game (other than fucking rocks) that I might actually be eliminated.

Lenny

Time to play clean up with dusty. ALSO!!! Final five! I AM SHOOK. I would’ve never thought that I could make it this far or be in this position.

Michele

FINAL FIVE BITCHESSSSSS!!!!!

Michele

Someone from OG Nera is about to get the boot and I’m going to try my hardest to guarantee it’s not me

Michele

My main right now is Lenny but I know she also talks to Dusty. She proved loyalty last tribal council by voting for Frank with og nera. I just am not sure if moving forward with her is the end all be all best for my game. If I move ahead with rain and worm I can hopefully stop dusty from gaining any new allies and it will remain everyone against him. I know I say this every round sksksk but this tribal will be the hardest personally to date. Winning immunity is really the only way to keep me safe!

FINAL FOURRRRRR

Rain

It’s final 5. I am unhappy. I didn’t want to bring Michele to final 4. Suddenly, I’m hoping for a final 2, even if I know it’s not going to happen. I didn’t want to go to the final 4 with both dusty and Michele. They are winners. Especially compared to me. At this point, I know I’m going to lose the game. I’d rather see both Michele and Dusty in the final 3 and watch them duke it out than watch me and worm get smoked by either of them. Fuck Michele. I love you but I never ASKED to be in your final 3. I’m here because you think you can beat me. I will prove you wrong.

Worm

I’m extremely worried tonight. The vote is basically between Lenny and I. Everyone is being kinda quiet and I’m trying to read into that literally every way I can. Are they just not talking to me cause I’m being targeted and they don’t want me to be bitter toward them. We’ve all discussed what made the most sense and I think Michele, Rain, and I all agree that keeping Lenny in the game cause everyone want to take them to the end. That makes the rest of us 4 fight for the other 2 spots. I’m hoping if I do survive tonight that my spot in the final 4 is basically guaranteed. The only thing that could foil that would be dusty cause he is such a wild card. I do think this being an alias game has given me a slight advantage in that with no one knowing who I am that they aren’t able to really see my track record. I have been to a lot of finals, and I have lost a lot of finals. But I am a big believer in that you learn from your losses and every time I have been close to winning there is always one thing that I have to adjust to get me there in a position to win. I also am hyper aware that you need to be aware of how you are maneuvering in the game and that you need to be able to talk logically why you did things that may seem questionable. I’m hoping that the other people here don’t have the same experience as I have and have difficulty portraying themselves in the final. If I do get voted out this round I may be team rain. I think they played a great under the radar game yet was also intricately involved In many of the big moves of the season. I still don’t really trust anyone in this game but I just have to hope that I was able to get them to see value in me like I’ve been trying to all season

Dusty

So here we are at the final 5. Michele is sitting pretty with immunity, and thankfully I’ve got my idol. Honestly I don’t feel safe going into next round. I think that just the super idol alone makes me a threat in the end. On top of that I have people in jury that were my allies in the game and have much more reason to be pissed at the other remaining players. I don’t know how much I can trust Lenny and Michele to take me the end. If I want to win I need to assure I can win the final challenge.

Michele

Voting Lenny out was heartbreaking. I’m glad she left me the legacy advantage because it shows that she didn’t take it personally. Us girls gotta stick together right? As long as Dusty doesn’t win this final immunity challenge I am super confident in making final three. If Dusty loses, I may have an actual shot at winning the whole game.

Michele

About to enter the jury chat with my legacy advantage and I'm really nervous. I think it's mostly because I've never seen the show and won't really know what to talk about. I want the most bang for my buck here. I know I'm going to see some not so happy faces but I'm hoping my friendly personality shines through. I genuinely don't dislike anybody, it's all just a game.

Michele

My conversation with the jury went pretty well once I figured out what I was doing. I think I have cranjes vote to win for sure. Franco and Eliza don't seem to want dusty in final 3, but that makes me think maybe I should bring him????? but i'm worried that he will have enough votes to beat me. keeping it OG Nera might help from him automatically getting plati votes. sksksksk this is going to come down to the wire for my decision. I really should stop worrying until the challenge results are posted thought.

Dusty

SHOOT i really needed that challenge win!!! I am so not confident in my standings with Michele, Worm, and Rain. I was so worried about this challenge because i basically know nothing real about these people!!! So even seeing that i could have been tied for the win was shocking, and the emotional trauma to come with not winning will be coming in shortly. Anyway at this point I feel like if i do have a shot at making it to the final 3 it is with Rain. At this point Michele has really given me no reason to be able to trust her when it comes to a vote and i cannot make that same mistake. Everyone loves Michele and shes a strong competitor in challenges, so if she makes it to the end shes winning for sure. Hopefully Rain and Worm will realize this and get rid of her now!!!

Worm

Going into the immunity challenge i had a good feeling that I wasn't going to win it. Especially since the 2 heavy point questions were based around were people are from which is a topic I strayed away from while talking to a lot of the jurors. I did impress myself a lot though by getting a lot of the individual fact questions right. Sadly though I didn't win but on the bright side neither did Dusty. So it basically confirmed that the final 3 alliance of Michele Rain and myself will succeed in making it to the final 3. I was worried cause Rain did come to me earlier in the round and tell me that they may want to be voted out based on the fear of how the jury would react to us being in the final 3. Selfishly I would be okay with it just cause I would have someone on the jury that i feel like would 100% be on my side. But I'm still human and I didn't want them to do something they would regret and I'm very happy that they decided to stay. Dusty is trying very hard now to stay which I do admire his tenacity of wanting to stay but he honestly got outplayed. One ting that confuses me that he keeps saying that Michele is a huge threat in front of the jury. That confuses me because he has targeted me the last couple rounds. Like literally every tribal I have received votes, one of them was from Dusty. He knew I wanted to target Michele during the round that Franco left so I don't see why he didn't take that chance to target her then. He also told me he voted me cause he saw me as a threat but I guess that perception has disappeared. I understand that he is grasping at straws so I don't knock him fro trying everything he can but even if I do flip and give a fire making challenge, that is just gonna boost someone's resume that isn't my own. Either Dusty is gonna win and get credit for flipping me to his side and betting Michele, or Michele stays and gets another challenge win. Either way it's a lose-lose so my best option is just to stay on track and get the original Nera to the final 3.

Michele

And here we are folks. Rain, Worm, and I successfully lasted 2 full rounds as a 3 person alliance. Excited to talk to the jury again and really explain my game. I debated telling the other two about my advantage but I think I’ll keep it to myself for now. No matter what happens I’m very proud of myself for reaching the final vote.....but I really want the win!

Dusty

All last night and today I was talking to Worm, Michele, and Rain to try and campaign to them to try and keep me for the final tribal council. Although all three of them straight up said they were voting for me. Which is really no surprise. Trying to make em go a lil crazy but there’s not a whole lot of point in trying.

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araitsume · 8 years ago

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Patriarchs and Prophets, pp. 291-302: Chapter (26) From the Red Sea to Sinai

This chapter is based on Exodus 15:22-27; 16 to 18.

From the Red Sea the hosts of Israel again set forth on their journey, under the guidance of the pillar of cloud. The scene around them was most dreary—bare, desolate-looking mountains, barren plains, and the sea stretching far away, its shores strewn with the bodies of their enemies; yet they were full of joy in the consciousness of freedom, and every thought of discontent was hushed.

But for three days, as they journeyed, they could find no water. The supply which they had taken with them was exhausted. There was nothing to quench their burning thirst as they dragged wearily over the sun-burnt plains. Moses, who was familiar with this region, knew what the others did not, that at Marah, the nearest station where springs were to be found, the water was unfit for use. With intense anxiety he watched the guiding cloud. With a sinking heart he heard the glad shout. “Water! water!” echoed along the line. Men, women, and children in joyous haste crowded to the fountain, when, lo, a cry of anguish burst forth from the host—the water was bitter.

In their horror and despair they reproached Moses for having led them in such a way, not remembering that the divine presence in that mysterious cloud had been leading him as well as them. In his grief at their distress Moses did what they had forgotten to do; he cried earnestly to God for help. “And the Lord showed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet.” Here the promise was given to Israel through Moses, “If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the Lord thy God, and wilt do that which is right in His sight, and wilt give ear to His commandments, and keep all His statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the Lord that healeth thee.”

From Marah the people journeyed to Elim, where they found “twelve wells of water, and threescore and ten palm trees.” Here they remained several days before entering the wilderness of Sin. When they had been a month absent from Egypt, they made their first encampment in the wilderness. Their store of provisions had now begun to fail. There was scanty herbage in the wilderness, and their flocks were diminishing. How was food to be supplied for these vast multitudes? Doubts filled their hearts, and again they murmured. Even the rulers and elders of the people joined in complaining against the leaders of God's appointment: “Would to God we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots, and when we did eat bread to the full; for ye have brought us forth into this wilderness, to kill this whole assembly with hunger.”

They had not as yet suffered from hunger; their present wants were supplied, but they feared for the future. They could not understand how these vast multitudes were to subsist in their travels through the wilderness, and in imagination they saw their children famishing. The Lord permitted difficulties to surround them, and their supply of food to be cut short, that their hearts might turn to Him who had hitherto been their Deliverer. If in their want they would call upon Him, He would still grant them manifest tokens of His love and care. He had promised that if they would obey His commandments, no disease should come upon them, and it was sinful unbelief on their part to anticipate that they or their children might die for hunger.

God had promised to be their God, to take them to Himself as a people, and to lead them to a large and good land; but they were ready to faint at every obstacle encountered in the way to that land. In a marvelous manner He had brought them out from their bondage in Egypt, that He might elevate and ennoble them and make them a praise in the earth. But it was necessary for them to encounter difficulties and to endure privations. God was bringing them from a state of degradation and fitting them to occupy an honorable place among the nations and to receive important and sacred trusts. Had they possessed faith in Him, in view of all that He had wrought for them, they would cheerfully have borne inconvenience, privation, and even real suffering; but they were unwilling to trust the Lord any further than they could witness the continual evidences of His power. They forgot their bitter service in Egypt. They forgot the goodness and power of God displayed in their behalf in their deliverance from bondage. They forgot how their children had been spared when the destroying angel slew all the first-born of Egypt. They forgot the grand exhibition of divine power at the Red Sea. They forgot that while they had crossed safely in the path that had been opened for them, the armies of their enemies, attempting to follow them, had been overwhelmed by the waters of the sea. They saw and felt only their present inconveniences and trials; and instead of saying, “God has done great things for us; whereas we were slaves, He is making of us a great nation,” they talked of the hardness of the way, and wondered when their weary pilgrimage would end.

The history of the wilderness life of Israel was chronicled for the benefit of the Israel of God to the close of time. The record of God's dealings with the wanderers of the desert in all their marchings to and fro, in their exposure to hunger, thirst, and weariness, and in the striking manifestations of His power for their relief, is fraught with warning and instruction for His people in all ages. The varied experience of the Hebrews was a school of preparation for their promised home in Canaan. God would have His people in these days review with a humble heart and teachable spirit the trials through which ancient Israel passed, that they may be instructed in their preparation for the heavenly Canaan.

Many look back to the Israelites, and marvel at their unbelief and murmuring, feeling that they themselves would not have been so ungrateful; but when their faith is tested, even by little trials, they manifest no more faith or patience than did ancient Israel. When brought into strait places, they murmur at the process by which God has chosen to purify them. Though their present needs are supplied, many are unwilling to trust God for the future, and they are in constant anxiety lest poverty shall come upon them, and their children shall be left to suffer. Some are always anticipating evil or magnifying the difficulties that really exist, so that their eyes are blinded to the many blessings which demand their gratitude. The obstacles they encounter, instead of leading them to seek help from God, the only Source of strength, separate them from Him, because they awaken unrest and repining.

Do we well to be thus unbelieving? Why should we be ungrateful and distrustful? Jesus is our friend; all heaven is interested in our welfare; and our anxiety and fear grieve the Holy Spirit of God. We should not indulge in a solicitude that only frets and wears us, but does not help us to bear trials. No place should be given to that distrust of God which leads us to make a preparation against future want the chief pursuit of life, as though our happiness consisted in these earthly things. It is not the will of God that His people should be weighed down with care. But our Lord does not tell us that there are no dangers in our path. He does not propose to take His people out of the world of sin and evil, but He points us to a never-failing refuge. He invites the weary and care-laden, “Come unto Me, all ye that labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.” Lay off the yoke of anxiety and worldly care that you have placed on your own neck, and “take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.” Matthew 11:28, 29. We may find rest and peace in God, casting all our care upon Him; for He careth for us. See 1 Peter 5:7.

Says the apostle Paul, “Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.”Hebrews 3:12. In view of all that God has wrought for us, our faith should be strong, active, and enduring. Instead of murmuring and complaining, the language of our hearts should be, “Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.” Psalm 103:1, 2.

God was not unmindful of the wants of Israel. He said to their leader, “I will rain bread from heaven for you.” And directions were given that the people gather a daily supply, with a double amount on the sixth day, that the sacred observance of the Sabbath might be maintained.

Moses assured the congregation that their wants were to be supplied: “The Lord shall give you in the evening flesh to eat, and in the morning bread to the full.” And he added, “What are we? your murmurings are not against us, but against the Lord.” He further bade Aaron say to them, “Come near before the Lord: for He hath heard your murmurings.” While Aaron was speaking, “they looked toward the wilderness, and, behold, the glory of the Lord appeared in the cloud.” A splendor such as they had never witnessed symbolized the divine Presence. Through manifestations addressed to their senses, they were to obtain a knowledge of God. They must be taught that the Most High, and not merely the man Moses, was their leader, that they might fear His name and obey His voice.

At nightfall the camp was surrounded by vast flocks of quails, enough to supply the entire company. In the morning there lay upon the surface of the ground “a small round thing, as small as the hoarfrost.” “It was like coriander seed, white.” The people called it “manna.” Moses said, “This is the bread which the Lord hath given you to eat.” The people gathered the manna, and found that there was an abundant supply for all. They “ground it in mills, or beat it in a mortar, and baked it in pans, and made cakes of it.” Numbers 11:8. “And the taste of it was like wafers made with honey.” They were directed to gather daily an omer for every person; and they were not to leave of it until the morning. Some attempted to keep a supply until the next day, but it was then found to be unfit for food. The provision for the day must be gathered in the morning; for all that remained upon the ground was melted by the sun.

In the gathering of the manna it was found that some obtained more and some less than the stipulated amount; but “when they did mete it with an omer, he that gathered much had nothing over, and he that gathered little had no lack.” An explanation of this scripture, as well as a practical lesson from it, is given by the apostle Paul in his second epistle to the Corinthians. He says, “I mean not that other men be eased, and ye burdened: but by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality: as it is written, He that had gathered much had nothing over; and he that had gathered little had no lack.” 2 Corinthians 8:13-15.

On the sixth day the people gathered two omers for every person. The rulers hastened to acquaint Moses with what had been done. His answer was, “This is that which the Lord hath said, Tomorrow is the rest of the holy Sabbath unto the Lord: bake that which ye will bake today, and seethe that ye will seethe; and that which remaineth over lay up for you to be kept until the morning.” They did so, and found that it remained unchanged. “And Moses said, Eat that today; for today is a Sabbath unto the Lord: today ye shall not find it in the field. Six days ye shall gather it; but on the seventh day, which is the Sabbath, in it there shall be none.”

God requires that His holy day be as sacredly observed now as in the time of Israel. The command given to the Hebrews should be regarded by all Christians as an injunction from Jehovah to them. The day before the Sabbath should be made a day of preparation, that everything may be in readiness for its sacred hours. In no case should our own business be allowed to encroach upon holy time. God has directed that the sick and suffering be cared for; the labor required to make them comfortable is a work of mercy, and no violation of the Sabbath; but all unnecessary work should be avoided. Many carelessly put off till the beginning of the Sabbath little things that might have been done on the day of preparation. This should not be. Work that is neglected until the beginning of the Sabbath should remain undone until it is past. This course might help the memory of these thoughtless ones, and make them careful to do their own work on the six working days.

Every week during their long sojourn in the wilderness the Israelites witnessed a threefold miracle, designed to impress their minds with the sacredness of the Sabbath: a double quantity of manna fell on the sixth day, none on the seventh, and the portion needed for the Sabbath was preserved sweet and pure, when if any were kept over at any other time it became unfit for use.

In the circumstances connected with the giving of the manna, we have conclusive evidence that the Sabbath was not instituted, as many claim, when the law was given at Sinai. Before the Israelites came to Sinai they understood the Sabbath to be obligatory upon them. In being obliged to gather every Friday a double portion of manna in preparation for the Sabbath, when none would fall, the sacred nature of the day of rest was continually impressed upon them. And when some of the people went out on the Sabbath to gather manna, the Lord asked, “How long refuse ye to keep My commandments and My laws?”

“The children of Israel did eat manna forty years, until they came to a land inhabited: they did eat manna, until they came unto the borders of the land of Canaan.” For forty years they were daily reminded by this miraculous provision, of God's unfailing care and tender love. In the words of the psalmist, God gave them “of the corn of heaven. Man did eat angels’ food” (Psalm 78:24, 25)—that is, food provided for them by the angels. Sustained by “the corn of heaven,” they were daily taught that, having God's promise, they were as secure from want as if surrounded by fields of waving grain on the fertile plains of Canaan.

The manna, falling from heaven for the sustenance of Israel, was a type of Him who came from God to give life to the world. Said Jesus, “I am that Bread of life. Your fathers did eat manna in the wilderness, and are dead. This is the bread which cometh down from heaven.... If any man eat of this bread, he shall live forever: and the bread that I will give is My flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.” John 6:48-51. And among the promises of blessing to God's people in the future life it is written, “To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna.” Revelation 2:17.

After leaving the wilderness of Sin, the Israelites encamped in Rephidim. Here there was no water, and again they distrusted the providence of God. In their blindness and presumption the people came to Moses with the demand, “Give us water that we may drink.” But his patience failed not. “Why chide ye with me?” he said; “wherefore do ye tempt the Lord?” They cried in anger, “Wherefore is this, that thou hast brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our cattle with thirst?” When they had been so abundantly supplied with food, they remembered with shame their unbelief and murmurings, and promised to trust the Lord in the future; but they soon forgot their promise, and failed at the first trial of their faith. The pillar of cloud that was leading them seemed to veil a fearful mystery. And Moses—who was he? they questioned, and what could be his object in bringing them from Egypt? Suspicion and distrust filled their hearts, and they boldly accused him of designing to kill them and their children by privations and hardships that he might enrich himself with their possessions. In the tumult of rage and indignation they were about to stone him.

In distress Moses cried to the Lord, “What shall I do unto this people?” He was directed to take the elders of Israel and the rod wherewith he had wrought wonders in Egypt, and to go on before the people. And the Lord said unto him, “Behold, I will stand before thee there upon the rock in Horeb; and thou shalt smite the rock, and there shall come water out of it, that the people may drink.” He obeyed, and the waters burst forth in a living stream that abundantly supplied the encampment. Instead of commanding Moses to lift up his rod and call down some terrible plague, like those on Egypt, upon the leaders in this wicked murmuring, the Lord in His great mercy made the rod His instrument to work their deliverance.

“He clave the rocks in the wilderness, and gave them drink as out of the great depths. He brought streams also out of the rock, and caused waters to run down like rivers.” Psalm 78:15, 16. Moses smote the rock, but it was the Son of God who, veiled in the cloudy pillar, stood beside Moses, and caused the life-giving water to flow. Not only Moses and the elders, but all the congregation who stood at a distance, beheld the glory of the Lord; but had the cloud been removed, they would have been slain by the terrible brightness of Him who abode therein.

In their thirst the people had tempted God, saying, “Is the Lord among us, or not?”—“If God has brought us here, why does He not give us water as well as bread?” The unbelief thus manifested was criminal, and Moses feared that the judgments of God would rest upon them. And he called the name of the place Massah, “temptation,” and Meribah, “chiding,” as a memorial of their sin.

A new danger now threatened them. Because of their murmuring against Him, the Lord suffered them to be attacked by their enemies. The Amalekites, a fierce, warlike tribe inhabiting that region, came out against them and smote those who, faint and weary, had fallen into the rear. Moses, knowing that the masses of the people were unprepared for battle, directed Joshua to choose from the different tribes a body of soldiers, and lead them on the morrow against the enemy, while he himself would stand on an eminence near by with the rod of God in his hand. Accordingly the next day Joshua and his company attacked the foe, while Moses and Aaron and Hur were stationed on a hill overlooking the battlefield. With arms outstretched toward heaven, and holding the rod of God in his right hand, Moses prayed for the success of the armies of Israel. As the battle progressed, it was observed that so long as his hands were reaching upward, Israel prevailed, but when they were lowered, the enemy was victorious. As Moses became weary, Aaron and Hur stayed up his hands until the going down of the sun, when the enemy was put to flight.

As Aaron and Hur supported the hands of Moses, they showed the people their duty to sustain him in his arduous work while he should receive the word from God to speak to them. And the act of Moses also was significant, showing that God held their destiny in His hands; while they made Him their trust, He would fight for them and subdue their enemies; but when they should let go their hold upon Him, and trust in their own power, they would be even weaker than those who had not the knowledge of God, and their foes would prevail against them.

As the Hebrews triumphed when Moses was reaching his hands toward heaven and interceding in their behalf, so the Israel of God prevail when they by faith take hold upon the strength of their mighty Helper. Yet divine strength is to be combined with human effort. Moses did not believe that God would overcome their foes while Israel remained inactive. While the great leader was pleading with the Lord, Joshua and his brave followers were putting forth their utmost efforts to repulse the enemies of Israel and of God.

After the defeat of the Amalekites, God directed Moses, “Write this for a memorial in a book, and rehearse it in the ears of Joshua: for I will utterly put out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven.” Just before his death the great leader delivered to his people the solemn charge: “Remember what Amalek did unto thee by the way, when ye were come forth out of Egypt; how he met thee by the way, and smote the hindmost of thee, even all that were feeble behind thee, when thou wast faint and weary; and he feared not God.... Thou shalt blot out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven; thou shalt not forget it.” Deuteronomy 25:17-19. Concerning this wicked people the Lord declared, “The hand of Amalek is against the throne of Jehovah.” Exodus 17:16, margin.

The Amalekites were not ignorant of God's character or of His sovereignty, but instead of fearing before Him, they had set themselves to defy His power. The wonders wrought by Moses before the Egyptians were made a subject of mockery by the people of Amalek, and the fears of surrounding nations were ridiculed. They had taken oath by their gods that they would destroy the Hebrews, so that not one should escape, and they boasted that Israel's God would be powerless to resist them. They had not been injured or threatened by the Israelites. Their assault was wholly unprovoked. It was to manifest their hatred and defiance of God that they sought to destroy His people. The Amalekites had long been high-handed sinners, and their crimes had cried to God for vengeance, yet His mercy had still called them to repentance; but when the men of Amalek fell upon the wearied and defenseless ranks of Israel, they sealed their nation's doom. The care of God is over the weakest of His children. No act of cruelty or oppression toward them is unmarked by Heaven. Over all who love and fear Him, His hand extends as a shield; let men beware that they smite not that hand; for it wields the sword of justice.

Not far distant from where the Israelites were now encamped was the home of Jethro, the father-in-law of Moses. Jethro had heard of the deliverance of the Hebrews, and he now set out to visit them, and restore to Moses his wife and two sons. The great leader was informed by messengers of their approach, and he went out with joy to meet them, and, the first greetings over, conducted them to his tent. He had sent back his family when on his way to the perils of leading Israel from Egypt, but now he could again enjoy the relief and comfort of their society. To Jethro he recounted the wonderful dealings of God with Israel, and the patriarch rejoiced and blessed the Lord, and with Moses and the elders he united in offering sacrifice and holding a solemn feast in commemoration of God's mercy.

As Jethro remained in the camp, he soon saw how heavy were the burdens that rested upon Moses. To maintain order and discipline among that vast, ignorant, and untrained multitude was indeed a stupendous task. Moses was their recognized leader and magistrate, and not only the general interests and duties of the people, but the controversies that arose among them, were referred to him. He had permitted this, for it gave him an opportunity to instruct them; as he said, “I do make them know the statutes of God, and His laws.” But Jethro remonstrated against this, saying, “This thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.” “Thou wilt surely wear away,” and he counseled Moses to appoint proper persons as rulers of thousands, and others as rulers of hundreds, and others of tens. They should be “able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness.” These were to judge in all matters of minor consequence, while the most difficult and important cases should still be brought before Moses, who was to be to the people, said Jethro, “to God-ward, that thou mayest bring the causes unto God: and thou shalt teach them ordinances and laws, and shalt show them the way wherein they must walk, and the work that they must do.” This counsel was accepted, and it not only brought relief to Moses, but resulted in establishing more perfect order among the people.

The Lord had greatly honored Moses, and had wrought wonders by his hand; but the fact that he had been chosen to instruct others did not lead him to conclude that he himself needed no instruction. The chosen leader of Israel listened gladly to the suggestions of the godly priest of Midian, and adopted his plan as a wise arrangement.

From Rephidim the people continued their journey, following the movement of the cloudy pillar. Their route had led across barren plains, over steep ascents, and through rocky defiles. Often as they had traversed the sandy wastes, they had seen before them rugged mountains, like huge bulwarks, piled up directly across their course, and seeming to forbid all further progress. But as they approached, openings here and there appeared in the mountain wall, and beyond, another plain opened to view. Through one of the deep, gravelly passes they were now led. It was a grand and impressive scene. Between the rocky cliffs rising hundreds of feet on either side, flowed in a living tide, far as the eye could reach, the hosts of Israel with their flocks and herds. And now before them in solemn majesty Mount Sinai lifted its massive front. The cloudy pillar rested upon its summit, and the people spread their tents upon the plain beneath. Here was to be their home for nearly a year. At night the pillar of fire assured them of the divine protection, and while they were locked in slumber, the bread of heaven fell gently upon the encampment.

The dawn gilded the dark ridges of the mountains, and the sun's golden rays pierced the deep gorges, seeming to these weary travelers like beams of mercy from the throne of God. On every hand vast, rugged heights seemed in their solitary grandeur to speak of eternal endurance and majesty. Here the mind was impressed with solemnity and awe. Man was made to feel his ignorance and weakness in the presence of Him who “weighed the mountains in scales, and the hills in a balance.” Isaiah 40:12. Here Israel was to receive the most wonderful revelation ever made by God to men. Here the Lord had gathered His people that He might impress upon them the sacredness of His requirements by declaring with His own voice His holy law. Great and radical changes were to be wrought in them; for the degrading influences of servitude and a long-continued association with idolatry had left their mark upon habits and character. God was working to lift them to a higher moral level by giving them a knowledge of Himself.

#egw #Ellen G. White #Christianity #God #Jesus Christ #Moses #the exodus #faith #sanctification #God's providence #patriarchs and prophets #conflict of the ages

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salfordelim · 4 years ago

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Neil’s Reflections

This week someone sent me an email who had heard me speaking at Elim’s online conference. It’s always nice to get an email from someone who agrees with what you’ve said and this woman had been kind enough to get in touch.

She explained that her pastor was encouraging her to use her social media accounts to tell people about the church’s online services. And she was reluctant, essentially because she felt that the distance between her friends and the church services was too wide.

I know what she means.

But she was no secret Christian. She has spent a lot of time in her career debunking false perceptions of churches and is widely known as a follower of Jesus. People come to her and ask questions, normally along the lines of ‘how can you stay so calm in the midst of all this madness’. And she tells them how she does it.

It gives her lots of opportunities to share who she is and why Jesus is so compelling for her.

It sounds like a woman who knows what obedient wisdom looks like.

The email reminded me of Philip setting off on a strange trip to a desert road (Acts 8:26-40). He’s left the revival in Samaria and told to go to a road in the middle of nowhere. No more than that. He gets there and, in the distance, he sees a chariot. ‘Go and catch it up’ is the next part of the direction. And as he gets there, he listens to a man reading from Isaiah. He asks a single question that leads to a new beginning: ‘Do you understand?’

God was already at work and it took someone willing to ask, ‘what are you thinking?’ I wonder if things are still like that. Rather than feeling we have to tell people everything, sometimes it’s enough to ask what is happening. Sometimes, like the woman in the email this morning, it’s enough to answer the question, ‘how do you cope?’

Philip was one of the church members who was ‘full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom’ (Acts 6:3). I think this story shows us what wisdom looks like. It’s about being open to the nudges of the Spirit, even when they don’t make total sense, and then the wisdom of knowing what to say.

Let’s make this our life prayer: fill me with your Spirit and give me the gift of wisdom.

If you want to watch the film that prompted the email, it’s here:

Interview

This week’s interview is with Sunita. She is a student nurse who is passionate about Jesus. Watch her talk about her faith, about coming to the country when she was a teenager and what brings her joy.

Connecting

1. Our Gatherings

Sunday gathering

The link to this Sunday’s Gathering is here:

https://us04web.zoom.us/j/836810848

Meeting ID: 836 810 848

Midweek Gatherings

This week we have 2 prayer meetings during the week:

On Wednesday between 1-2pm we offer prayer ministry.

You may feel anxious and just need someone to pray for God’s peace over you. You may be ill or be concerned about someone who is sick; we can pray with you for God’s healing. You may feel low or confused; we can pray with you to know God’s joy and guidance in these strange days. Whatever your reason, we would love to pray with you and for you.

Meeting link: https://zoom.us/j/91853590251?pwd=ZnFPWkNWOTZoK3p4eTgxY0Zxc3ZwQT09

On Friday 10.30-12.00 there is a prayer meeting that doesn’t need Zoom! We use Whatsapp and it works great. If you want more information contact Corinne Baines or Gill Oldham or Neil and they’ll make sure you are able to connect.

2. Home Groups: Thursday at 7.45-9.00

The link for home groups is here:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/998857193

Meeting ID: 998 857 193

3. Stay Connected: ‘Virtual Vine Wednesdays’

‘Virtual Coffee Morning’ – Wednesday 10.30-11.30am

Since closing we’ve missed chatting to people and we know some of you have missed popping in for a brew and a catch up too. So, whilst it’s not as good as the real thing, we thought we would try meeting up online instead. So, grab yourself a brew and join us. There may even be games and live music!

Meeting link: https://zoom.us/j/94930624852?pwd=dlI0SnhwY3RaNnUrUGpSMTkrWm5hZz09

If in doubt

All the links to the meetings are in Church Suite and on the ‘Calendar’ section of our church website: http://www.salfordelimchurch.org/events/

4. You’re not alone

If you need prayer, or need to talk, don’t hesitate to contact folks in your WhatsApp group, or Neil – his number is 07771 558058. Stay up to date via the church’s website where you will find all sorts of resources to help you stay alert to God in the midst of real life.

Links and Resources

1. Children’s Resources

Morag and Ian have out together a couple of films for children at different ages. Having said that, whatever your age you might want to take a look!

But if you have children that fall into these groups, I know that they will really value your feedback.

You can watch them here: http://www.salfordelimchurch.org/kids-resources-acts-826-40/

2. Any of you interested in any of these?

Pauline Pollitt, one of our older members of the church, has had to downsize from her flat to The Fountains Care Centre, Swinton. She had some books that she would like to pass on to anyone who would like them:

Several books by Joyce Meyer; ‘The Father’s Blessing’ by John Arnott and ‘My Dear Child’ by Colin Urquhart.

And 7 Bibles in different translations: NIV, NLT, NKJV, The Message, CEV. Two of them are Daily Study Bibles for Women.

If you want any of these, contact Neil.

3. Activate Conference

Some of you may remember that Ian and Morag led worship at the Activate conference last year. You might also remember Ian raving about it. This year it’s online so you can be part of it from your front room. It’s on Saturday 25 July 9.30-12.00 or Wed 29 July 7-9.30pm. Tickets can be bought here.

4. Just a thought

At the moment Sky Atlantic are showing ‘Perry Mason’. Some of you will remember the original. Apparently, this is nothing like it. It’s a bit raw so this is not necessarily a recommendation, but it does involve a (convoluted) plot that involves a church leader that is heavily based on someone called Aimee Semple MacPherson who was the pastor at Angelus Temple, Los Angeles in the 1920s-1930s. She was quite a character! Watching it, I remembered that a number of years ago I wrote about her. You might be interested to read about her. Here’s a wikipedia entry about her and this is my piece.

#Salford #Elim #Church

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