#he has a heart bursting with such creativity and joy

[honeyedlashton]

“I don’t want to unsee. . .”

10 days of Superbloom (Day 8 of 10)

Ashton Irwin via Superbloom Album Trailer / Unknown Struck Match Photography / Amberlights Stock Photo via Etsy (not sponsored lmao) / Unknown Star Art / Unknown Graffiti Word Art / Unknown Bird Photography / Untitled Fluid Acrylic Art by Maria Brooks / Unknown Dilated Pupil Photography

[marvyu]

TINY HANDS, BIG HEARTS

pairings. all seventeen members x female reader genre(s). pure fluff

summary. seventeen members meet their mini-me's and melt into fatherhood for the first time.

warnings. emotional, tenderness, detailed character reactions, lowercase intended, rewritten -- if i missed anything lmk!

choi seungcheol

as soon as you place your newborn in seungcheol’s arms, he’s instantly overwhelmed with joy. tears well up in his eyes, and he holds the baby close, his protective instincts immediately kicking in. “look at you,” he whispers, voice trembling with emotion. you’ve never seen him so vulnerable yet so strong at the same time. he cradles the baby gently, his large hands careful and tender. every few seconds, he glances at you, eyes filled with gratitude and love. seungcheol promises right then and there that he’ll protect and cherish your baby with all his heart. he’s in awe of this tiny life you both created, and the reality of being a father hits him in the best way possible.

yoon jeonghan

jeonghan can’t stop smiling as he gazes at your baby. he gently touches their tiny hands, marveling at how small and delicate they are. “hey there, little one,” he whispers sweetly, his voice soothing and gentle. he leans in closer, eyes filled with warmth and adoration. you can see how natural he is with the baby, as if he was born to be a father. every little movement or sound your baby makes brings a new wave of joy to his face. he’s in his element, already planning all the sweet moments and gentle guidance he’ll give as they grow. jeonghan’s heart is full, and it’s clear he’s ready to pour all his love into this new chapter of your lives.

hong jisoo

jisoo softly sings a lullaby to your newborn, his voice calm and melodic. as he holds the baby close, he gazes down with a look of pure love and pride. “you’re so precious,” he murmurs, a gentle smile playing on his lips. you can see the contentment in his eyes, knowing that he’s holding the best part of both of you. every note he sings seems to weave a spell of calm around your little family. jisoo is proud and content, feeling an immense sense of fulfillment. he’s already imagining the future filled with music and love, teaching your child the beauty of song and the importance of kindness. he’s never felt more complete.

wen junhui

junhui laughs with excitement the moment he sees your baby. he talks to them in a playful manner, his voice filled with energy and joy. “hey there, tiny one! i’m your dad,” he says, eyes twinkling with delight. he’s full of enthusiasm, his laughter infectious. every little coo or wiggle from your baby sends him into fits of giggles. junhui is already planning all the fun and playful moments he’ll share with them, from silly faces to playful games. his heart is bursting with happiness, and you can tell he’s going to be the kind of dad who fills your child’s life with endless joy and laughter.

kwon soonyoung

soonyoung beams with happiness as he holds your newborn. he can’t help but make playful faces to get them to smile, his affection evident in every gesture. “you’re my little star,” he coos, his grin wide and bright. his happiness is contagious, filling the room with warmth. soonyoung’s playful nature shines through, but there’s also a deep tenderness in the way he cradles your baby. he’s already imagining all the dance routines he’ll teach them, all the ways he’ll encourage their creativity and joy. his heart is full of love, and he’s ready to shower your child with all the affection and fun he has to give.

jeon wonwoo

wonwoo quietly admires your baby, a gentle smile playing on his lips. he holds them carefully, his touch light and tender. “you’re amazing,” he whispers, eyes filled with awe. you can see how deeply moved he is, his usual calm demeanor softened by this incredible moment. he’s content to just watch the baby’s tiny movements, memorizing every detail. wonwoo’s love is quiet but profound, and he’s ready to be the steady, reliable presence in your child’s life. he may not be the loudest or most expressive, but his love is deep and unwavering. he’s already planning all the ways he’ll support and nurture your baby as they grow.

lee jihoon

jihoon looks at your baby with awe, a mix of shyness and tenderness in his expression. he’s a bit hesitant at first, but as soon as he holds them, you can see the love in his eyes. “hello there,” he says softly, his voice almost a whisper. he’s incredibly gentle, as if afraid to disturb their peaceful sleep. jihoon’s heart swells with emotion, and he’s already thinking about all the lullabies and songs he’ll write for them. his shyness melts away as he starts to bond with your baby, his natural tenderness coming to the fore. he’s ready to be the most caring and dedicated father, pouring all his love into this tiny new life.

lee seokmin

seokmin is full of joy, his smile so wide it looks like it might split his face. he can’t stop grinning as he holds your baby, eyes sparkling with happiness. “you’re perfect,” he says, his voice thick with emotion. he sings softly to them, his voice a gentle lullaby. every note is filled with love, and you can see how deeply he’s already bonded with your child. seokmin’s joy is infectious, and you can’t help but smile along with him. he’s ready to be the most loving and joyful father, filling your baby’s life with music and laughter. his heart is so full, and he can’t wait to share every moment of this new journey with you.

kim mingyu

mingyu is very emotional as he holds your baby for the first time. tears well up in his eyes, and he can’t help but smile through them. “i can’t believe you’re here,” he whispers, his voice full of awe. he cradles the baby gently, his large hands surprisingly delicate. every little movement or sound from your baby brings a fresh wave of emotion. mingyu’s heart is overflowing with love, and he’s already imagining all the ways he’ll protect and care for your child. his emotions are raw and powerful, and he���s not afraid to show them. he’s ready to be the most dedicated and loving father, cherishing every moment with your baby.

xu minghao

minghao is calm and serene as he holds your baby, his touch gentle and reassuring. “hello, little one,” he says softly, his voice a soothing balm. he strokes their head softly, eyes filled with a deep, quiet love. minghao’s presence is calming, and you can see how naturally he takes to being a father. he talks to the baby in a gentle, melodic tone, his words full of love and promise. minghao is ready to be a calm and steady presence in your child’s life, guiding them with love and wisdom. his heart is full, and he’s already planning all the ways he’ll nurture and support your baby as they grow.

boo seungkwan

seungkwan is excited and lively, his energy filling the room as he holds your baby. “look at you! you’re amazing!” he exclaims, eyes wide with wonder. he talks to the baby with enthusiasm, his voice full of love and excitement. seungkwan’s reactions are so spirited that he makes everyone around him laugh. he’s already planning all the fun and lively moments he’ll share with your child, from games to songs to endless laughter. his heart is bursting with joy, and he’s ready to be the most fun and loving father. seungkwan’s energy is infectious, and you know your baby will always feel loved and cherished.

chwe hansol

hansol is amazed and a bit speechless as he holds your baby for the first time. he smiles gently, eyes wide with wonder. “wow, you’re really here,” he murmurs, voice filled with awe. he holds the baby close, careful and tender. hansol’s usual cool demeanor melts away in the presence of your newborn, revealing a softer, more vulnerable side. he’s ready to be the kind of father who’s always there, offering quiet support and endless love. his heart is full, and he’s already imagining all the ways he’ll share his passions and interests with your child. hansol’s love is deep and steady, and he’s ready to pour it all into this new journey.

lee chan

chan is overjoyed as he holds your baby, his smile wide and bright. he can’t help but dance around a bit, his excitement palpable. “you’re incredible!” he exclaims, eyes shining with happiness. he keeps looking at the baby in wonder, his heart full of love. chan’s joy is infectious, and you can see how deeply he’s already bonded with your child. he’s ready to be the most enthusiastic and loving father, sharing his energy and joy with your baby. chan’s heart is bursting with happiness, and he can’t wait to fill your child’s life with love, laughter, and endless fun.

‎‎‎‎‎© marvyu 2k24 — please do not copy, repost or translate any of my works on other platforms: i do not tolerate them at all.

[omegalomania]

the thing is that i can still remember the way it felt.

end of november, 2022, suddenly every feed lights up. they're doing something. people are posting images of the chicago tribune, a full page ad that has this bicolored logo, a face both happy and sad, black and white, and it simply says: FOB8.

"is this real?" quite a few people were skeptical after the years-long pause between mania and now. "i'm not convinced."

"it's a full-page ad in a single chicago newspaper out of nowhere, right after joe got finished doing a whole book tour where he insisted they had no new music to speak of," i answered. "of fucking course it's real. it has fall out boy all over it."

i remember so vividly the sense of wonder that arrived on christmas morning of that same year, when i woke up at the exact right moment to learn that fall out boy did something again. an eerie, playful, earnest, weird claymation video with a haunting soundtrack, featuring a little black and brown dog. it was mystifying and bizarre and striking - a sprinkling of stardust on the dog's muzzle that prompted it to sneeze - and the adrenaline rush i got from the snippet of heart-pounding drums and guitar was the best gift i'd received all year.

so much (for) stardust. i've said it before and i'll say it again - it's a damn near perfect title. it's a play on words, it has multiple meanings nested into one another. given enough time, we all fall apart like so much dust, like so much stardust because that's where we came from. we are made of and from stardust. for stardust. so much for stardust. so much for the cosmic clay that shaped us. so much for this life, so much for the very foundational fucking firmament from which we we all sprang, so much for this whole strange weird existence. it's exhaustion and anger and spite and frustration and, at the same time - it's wonder. it's love. it's a doberman frozen in an instant of elated play, snapping at bubbles. it's a dog breed conventionally associated with danger captured in a moment of buoyant delight. it's an oil painting, surrounded by words shaped from sparkling clay.

it's love.

it's a record full to bursting with love. it's in the very first song they sent to us, sending us their love from the other side of the apocalypse. it's a record that says yes, the world is a mess and it feels insurmountable. maybe existence is meaningless. maybe it's all fucking pointless and we're all gonna die anyway. but like hell that means i'm not going to love life with all that i am. like hell i am going to let that stifle me. if nothing matters, then love is what matters.

and they committed to it, too. if there's one thing we can take away from so much for (tour)dust, it's that fall out boy loves us the way we love them. they'd have to, right? they could have called it quits years ago. hell, they could've packed it up after the hiatus and just never come back. they'd have to really love doing this to want to keep at it, years later, and look at that. they have.

fall out boy, at the end of the day, is propelled by love. they have to really love what they do to keep doing it. they have to love each other, love the music, love the fans, to keep doing what they do. this is something they've repeatedly asserted over the course of this tour and record cycle: the sheer, shared joy, the positive feedback loop of creative energy that comes from sharing something you made with the world and seeing the world respond in turn.

the world is a wreck and it feels, at times, like nothing you do matters or changes anything. so much (for) stardust is the antithesis to that kind of existential apathy. look, it says. look at what your love has changed. because as desolate and nightmarish and inescapable as the pitfalls of this strange, oftentimes terrifying existence can be - we have laughter, we have good friends, we have good music, and we have the ability to not let our own ennui defeat us. there are things in this world worth living for. there are things in this world worth loving. you have to love one another. you have to laugh and do whatever silly, inane thing makes you feel alive. you have to hug your friends and sing with them, cry with them, and savor every drop of this life that we get. prioritize love. be seriously unserious.

a week before this record came out, i spent some 6-7 hours in a car driving to a record store to hear it with a bunch of people, many of them strangers. i heard so much (for) stardust in its entirety in a record store with one of my favorite people, surrounded by awed chatter as we all drank it in. we didn't catch all the words, but the ones we heard sank into us and took root. i almost couldn't bear to wait for to hear the record properly.

a year later, it's sunk into the recesses of my soul. i'm not sure it'll ever come unstuck there. i don't think i want it to.

thanks for the stardust, fall out boy.

we love you back.

[dangerliesbeforeyou]

ok so ive been rewatching psychoville and saw on the wikipedia that there were a bunch of websites made for the series (they were all written by reece and steve btw) which i've been looking through cos they are genuinely SO fucking funny & also just amazingly creative lol!

anyway i know people in the fandom probs already know about this (since the show came out literally 15 years ago pfft) but i thought i'd share some of my fav bits (but honestly would just recommend just checking them out if you haven't i have been crying with laughter for literally hours lol)

i will say that a lot of the media (videos, games, etc) no longer work on the archived sites rip but i'm sure people have uploaded some of the stuff (vids especially) to yt or other places lol

so a) i love that we get some background stuff on jelly and 2) 'captain CRACKERS' bernie clifton's dressing room reference question mark ??????? (ofc bcdr was AFTER this but i know love the idea that mr jelly trained under len pfft)

what that red raw stump do though 👀 (sorry pfffft)

mr jolly's website wasn't that interesting soz tho i did like him comparing being a doctor to being a clown lol

the comment about fag bears did make me wheeze i'm afraid lol i also loved the blurry photos of lomax's commodities lol (kinda reminded me of the bit in tlog w/ that terrible old photographer guy lol)

when i tell you i DIED with laughter at the 'now known as hull' bit like u just know reece wrote that bit pfft

not really a funny thing but this poem written by david honestly kinda breaks my heart lol... i think it also a lot of additional context to david's guilt when he thought he'd killed his father(faver) because perhaps he felt guilty about NOT feeling guilty you get me? like, it felt to me that when maureen told david it was SHE who killed her husband, it didn't feel like he was mad at her for doing it, but more that she kept the fact from him. it's about... the mutual oedipus-coded obsession with one another that couldn't even be destroyed in death and in this essay i will....

ghoul_lass23 is just like me but about tumblr lol fr

nothing feels more cursed than the phrases 'the river minge has burst its banks', 'crying creamy tears' and 'fleshy rapunzel' (which i've just noticed they misspelt lol... don't think that was intentional lol?) so if i had to read this so do you <3

the way that i kinda wish this actually existed tho pfft... also, it does kinda remind me of that video where jenny nicholson talked about that insane reality show 'opposite worlds' lol

'cross between seven and glee' is honestly sending me pfft

also on this part there was a script from stinkfinger (which is a show mentioned on the show) which sounded suspiciously like a reference to tlc lol

the less said about swastknickers the better

(will say i did nearly piss myself laughing at the nazi section of the hoity toity website lol which wasn't a sentence i thought i'd type today lol)

i just love these kinds of jokes pfft

also the whole biography sections of each of the pantomime cast are fab lol tho i AM kinda pissed they made debbie from yeovil and yet didn't give her a west country accent lol!!! (i guess they thought it'd be a bit much w/ joy being bristolian but i'm still mad about it lol)

also i know people have probably already pointed this out but i do find it funny that brian in the in9 episode last night of the proms is a closeted gay guy who likes watching drag was probably a reference to brian in this show that was a drag queen like... is anything these guys do NOT a reference??? u know those gaylor fans who obsessively look for clues in her songs about her apparent secret sexuality? all i'm saying is that i think they'd really like the extended reece shearsmith & steve pemberton universe pfft

all three of these made me cry with laughter lol

ohh this is interesting lol so obviously they suspected that some people might be all 'um why didn't the sprinklers go off during the fire at ravenhill? plot hole much!' so they wrote this into one of the websites so they could be like SEE! WE'RE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU DUMBASSES lol

both the jeremy kyle reference (remember when that was a thing? yikes... my mum used to watch his show CONSTANTLY...) and nurse kenshington's thoughts on david and maureen are interesting lol.. also there's a reference to the serial killer top trumps in this bit lol! (do people still play top trumps?? man i LOVED top trumps lol...)

the entire sunnyvale care home section is so fucking funny (both the website AND in the show lol mrs wren/mrs ladybird face is unironically probably my favourite character on the entire show) these were just some of my fav gags lol...

ok but why is this the SECOND reference to a guy punching a child who was apparently looking at his dick lol!??!! did this happen to one of you ??!!?!? reece did you punch a child ??!???!?!??

&&&& that's it lol

there were a few websites i didn't spend long on or generally weren't that interesting (coughmidgetgemscough) but honestly? i was really captivated with just how funny and well put together all these sites were! you can tell they had a lot of fun making it and i'm sure fans at the time LOVED being able to have this semi-interactive element of the show lol

there was just something so wonderfully late 00's about these websites lol i genuinely don't think i've laughed this much at anything in literal months and all of this is just solidifies that psychoville is a criminally under-appreciated masterpiece lol

[raina-at]

Self-rec Thingy

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. spread the self-love ❤

Thank you for the tag, @calaisreno and @weeesi

This is surprisingly difficult. I shamelessly admit that I like all of my fics, otherwise I wouldn't have posted them ;-)

So. Favourite five.

I'll start with Spare Parts, my Sci-Fi AU. I loved writing this fic, and I love the worldbuilding, I love the hostility of the environment and the resilience John and Sherlock show to not only survive, but thrive in a hostile world. It's set in the 24th century on Titan, but of all my AUs, it's actually the most canon compliant, ironically. It's also me going into the meat and bones of what Reichenbach meant for Sherlock and John, and my thoughts on why Sherlock did what he did. (it's also probably my most underappreciated fic in terms of effort versus response, but I love it, and that's all that matters ;-))

Next up is Nothing Gold Can Stay, a fix-it for S3. I carried this idea with me for months, and the fic came out in little bursts of hundred-word-snippets (in stark contrast to the sequels, which flowed out of my pen in a matter of days), but I'm really happy with the end result. I also always wanted to write a series of short fics that hang together, and this was the starting point for the series that I will continue, promise, as soon as life isn't quite as crazy. My plan is to continue the series as a sort of parallel to S3, but let's see what life does to me over the next few months.

Since this is about fics I like best and not necessarily underappreciated stories, it would be remiss of me not to honour the bakers here. Bakers with Benefits is by far my most popular story, and I like it a lot. It was great fun to write (I grin like a loon when I re-read the cake war chapter), and I love revisiting them in ficlets (which should be obvious, given how often I do it ;-)) They're so much fun, and they're so comforting. I love writing established relationship with them, because you can just throw whatever at them and you absolutely know they'll get through it together.

It almost feels unfair to my lesser-loved stories to pick my fic with the most kudos here, but, well, I really like it. Don't Read the Last Page is probably the most realistic life with a child fic I've written (and parts of it are directly ripped from real life), and it has one of my top three favourite conversations between Sherlock and John I've ever written in there (and also probably my second favourite first kiss).

So the last one is really hard, because like I said, I like all of my fics. But just for the sheer joy of writing it (I can't describe how eager I felt to "spend time" with this fic when I wrote it), and for the love of theatre and Jane Austen that's always in my heart, I'm picking my theatre/Persuasion AU Take Two. There's fics you struggle with, fics you labour on, and fics that take over your body and just pour out with sheer joy and creative flow, and this fic was definitely the latter. It also has PINING!, and I love me some good PINING!

Tagging @helloliriels @jrow @meetinginsamarra @lisbeth-kk and @blogstandbygo , but if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged!

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Tarot Assignment: Vash the Stampede

Love and peace! I tried to pick cards that could apply across any of the Triguns.

Three of Swords: This card signifies grief, betrayal and hurt. Essentially, the question posed by this card is: will you stay knocked down, or will you get back up again? Despite the hurt, the pain and the suffering he goes through, Vash does his best to keep moving forward. The card focuses on what you can control in unfortunate circumstances - yourself, and your own actions. Vash starts from the place of honing his exceptional skills as a gunman, and goes on to learn to control his angel arm from there.

Star: This card is the card of hope and faith that the hard times will pass and that good things will come again. Vash tries his best to embody this message, though he wavers between it and the reverse, which is hopelessness, despondence, and despair. Ultimately though, he does genuinely believe in the blank ticket, and he inspires others through his words and actions. He encourages others to change and heal and he very stubbornly does not give up on people.

Ace of Cups (reversed): When this card is reversed, the water in the cup becomes overturned, which signifies loss, emotional instability, and pain, which makes it difficult to enjoy all that the cup has to offer. Generally the cup has been overturned by some other party, and righting it involves regaining control over the cup and what it represents - an open, loving heart, faith, and bursts of creativity. But for as long as it remains tipped, there will be feelings of being drained, and a block between the heart and others. This card, ultimately, comes about when one has walled themselves off to love and struggles to feel joy - in particular love of the self.

[modgryphonrambles]

I love TAOCC so much!

It is 5-6 in the morning, and I'm feeling emotional and affectionate. So I'm gonna ramble about how much I appreciate people. Apologies if you don't want to be tagged in this or if I'm not making any sense because I'm sleepy.

@silhouette-anon Soup, thank you so much for running the Gangle blog, if it wasn't for you, I would never have found this silly little RP community. I was so scared to interact for so long, I lurked and only sent a couple of unsigned anon asks, but the way you interacted with your regular anons gave me the confidence to also try and become a regular. You were just so kind to everyone, and it was wonderful to see. Love your art, love your RP, love how you make me smile in one moment and then make me cry in the next.

@sh4tt3rg1rl Basil, Soup may have been how I found TAOCC, but you are the reason I wanted to get involved with actually RPing in it. I don't remember how I stumbled on Mix's blog, but he was the first non-canon character in the group that I followed. I just loved his story, his design, the way you RPed, everything. Again I was too scared to actually approach you, instead I watched for a few weeks without making a single RP post. And even when I did start RPing, I was still a little intimidated by how amazing your writing was, so even though I still followed your blogs, it took me way too long to finally ask if I could interact with one of your characters. And of course your art blows me away all the time!

@the-moth-from-elsewhere Elsie, you were the first person in TAOCC I actually RPed with, though I never intended that. But I was so intrigued by Aoki's interaction with Mix, he seemed like such an interesting character, and I was blown away with how you RPed him. I wanted to follow that OC, but I didn't know what his blog was. I just knew yours. When I asked you if you had a list of OC blogs, you not only gave them to me, but pointed me in the direction of Dusk as a nice OC for me to introduce Grif to. In a rare burst of confidence, I sent an actual RP ask. I haven't looked back since. Your art style is so adorable, and you kinda scare me with how many characters you have, but I'm impressed by all the thought you put into TAOCC and I could listen/read your rambles for hours!

@shot-of-hopes-and-dreams Hope, I've already told you before how much I appreciate you for being the first person to send a character ask to Grif completely out of the blue. But I don't think I ever told you that you were also the first person I DMed to ask about joining a plot. DMs always scare me, I think because of how private they are, and it took me a good few days to work up the courage to send the message, but I'm so glad I did! Every time I get a message, or ask, or @ from you, I get excited, and sometimes a little nervous, you do love being evil after all! You surprise me a lot, keep me on my toes and really make me think when we RP together, and it's a ton of fun! I do love your sketchy art style too, and in my opinion it doesn't get nearly enough attention.

Star, Feiar, and everyone else that I've talked to outside of RPing (including the people I singled out above), thank you for all being so sweet and kind and welcoming. I really do struggle with social stuff especially voice calls, I always feel a little awkward by how I'm mostly non-verbal, and I often avoid calls because of it, but just you guys being so understanding has really helped me get over that fear!

And for everyone in TAOCC whether I've talked to you before or not, thank you for being such awesome creative people, you've given me so much joy over these past few months, I am so glad I found this community! Whether it's the writing, the art, the silly little memes, all of it makes me so happy (or breaks my heart in a good way when you decide to be angsty). All of you, never change, keep being such wonderful, amazing people!

[thesimsbaddie]

The Mathis Family (Sylvie's Family) - TheSimsBaddie

Meet the Mathis family - a vibrant and spirited urban country farm-based family, whose roots are deeply grounded in their love for the land and each other. At the heart of their lively household are Emory and Sylvie Mathis, a dynamic couple who embody the fusion of rustic charm and urban flair.

Emory, a rugged and hardworking ranch hand, is the backbone of the family's farm operations. His unwavering dedication to the land has shaped him into a true steward of nature. 

Sylvie, the effervescent matriarch of the Mathis clan, is a force of nature in her own right. With her wild, eclectic style and a heart as big as the Texas sky, Sylvie brings a burst of color and creativity to everything she does. A true urban country fashionista, she's not afraid to mix country chic with city glam, and her bohemian-inspired outfits are always the talk of the town. Beneath her sassy and spirited exterior, Sylvie is a loving and fiercely protective mother and wife, ensuring that her family is always well taken care of.

Brock, their son, is your typical easy-going, sports-loving teen boy. He enjoys spending time outdoors with his father, learning the ropes of ranch work, and occasionally venturing into the world of video games. While he may appear laid-back, Brock's love for his family is unwavering, and he often surprises them with his hidden talents and thoughtful gestures.

Makayla, on the other hand, is the family's cheerleader in more ways than one. With an infectious energy and a bright smile, she brings joy to everyone around her. Makayla's passion for cheerleading and school spirit is matched only by her love for animals, especially the farm's horses. She's the apple of her father's eye and the confidante of her mother, who proudly encourages her daughter's individuality and determination.

Do not claim, reupload, repost, and/or alter anything.

Do not convert without permission.

Recoloring is not allowed.

DOWNLOAD

[too-destiny-panda]

Wyllvember Day 1: The Blade/ Favourite outfit

A/N: I have not posted my writing on here for literal years, and I overall don't write much anymore (mainly because of fear of writing OOC and my many inconsistencies), but I figured I might try my hand at this. Forgive me for the ugly formatting, I'm writing this on mobile and overall have no clue how to make it look pretty😅. Anyways, let's get this Wyll Ravengard appreciation started! The prompts are from @commander-yinello and @sagscrib -Blue WC:603

The Blade of Frontiers, the protector of the Sword Coast, and its people. The name is known to many. Some whisper it in reverence, shout it in adoration, or mutter it through gritted teeth in loathing. The name carries a weight, a meaning, a notion that one is either going to be saved and protected or crushed under the heel of justice. It inspired an image in one’s mind, whether they have ever seen the Blade in person or not. A picture of justice and righteousness, of gaudiness and pompous heroics. Some imaginings are closer, some further, from the truth. Be that as it may, all of them are right, at least to some extent.

The Blade is a hero, who accompanies his actions with flowery words, creative insults, and some slightly more puzzling phrases. He is a man of many qualities, and though not all are fond of his tendency for theatrics, they must admit he is good. Whether it be his combat prowess or as a person, he is good. Which some may believe to be a weakness, a soft spot to be exploited and bruised. Those people are proven wrong very quickly.

Despite his kindness, his willingness to help those that need it, he is righteous. And there are few things more destructive than righteous fury, accompanied by powers few possess. His white, stone eye blazing as he cracks mountains, calls onto fiendish abilities to burn his enemies from inside out, blast their torsos to smithereens with a few Eldritch Blasts, or poison a small army of soulless wrongdoers with deadly clouds. For no matter how soft his heart is, how embellished and poetic his words are, his fists turn into adamantine when faced with his foes, his tongue turns into a blade sharp enough to put all blacksmiths to shame as incantation after incantation reverberates through the air until not a single enemy is left standing.

And when he returns from battle, when he swoops in to save the poor victims of the monsters he has slain, some remark how the outfit he dons is splattered with blood and soot and ash and unidentifiable organic matter. A view many would find disquieting, terrifying. But the people will only remember his kind gaze, his ebony hair and warm skin as he extends his hand to them, remember the way light reflects off the belts and buckles of his armour, how the hue of the leather contrasts with the unblemished metal.

And later on, when a feast is thrown, when the tavern is filled to bursting with folks celebrating the return of their loved ones and the defeat of the dangers that plagued them, many an eye will watch with keen interest the man responsible for such joy, watch as he laughs, how the fabric of his Splendid Blue outfit tightens around his arms whenever he raises them to toast. Others, in a different region will recall how the simplicity of his Swarthy Wayfarer shirt made them dream of his collarbones like depraved maidens. Some more noble sorts will remark that a particular shade of a Solemnity outfit made him look delectable. If everyone that has ever seen the Blade in a different outfit other than his armour were to meet and a debate on what suits him best would occur, this author is afraid that a brawl might break out on account of the Blade's handsome looks and what best accentuates them.

And as much as this humble writer disagrees with violence over romantic matters, one must admit that such behaviour is not so surprising when faced with someone such as the Blade of Frontiers.

[lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie]

Prince of Hearts

Summary: Each side has a special sight, allowing them to see things according to their function. Like Virgil being able to see fears and worries physically or in someone’s mind. Roman can see too. As the prince of romance, he can see his fellow sides’ hearts, able to know when they’re heartbroken or healing. He’s grateful only he can see hearts though. Roman’s own heart is broken and he has yet to let it heal so no one needs to see that yet.

(A/N: It took me a long time but I've finally written this idea down! I'm dedicating this to my lovely dear @enigmasalad who stuck with me when I wanted to rip my own heart out. Thank you for healing my heart, mi amor!)

Pairings: Prinxiety if you squint, BROTHERLY CREATIVITWINS

WARNINGS: slight mention of blood, implied gore but no actual gore, slight description of a cut

Each of the sides have a special sight. They each can see things according to their functions.

Logan can see the logic of things and the factual aspect of things, allowing him to learn here and there as well as guide those who need it. Patton can see the others’ inner warmth, allowing him to see who is cold and hurting and in need of warm love. Virgil can see fears and worries, able to detect what’s scaring or worrying his little family so he can fight them off.

Remus can see the worst and darkest of thoughts and sometimes it’s delightful while other times…it’s just kinda sad. Of course, Janus can see lies and truths and through disguises that aren’t his. He can tell when something is even the slightest bit off with a person or object.

And Roman? He can see hearts.

Roman not only handles Thomas’ creativity, but he’s also romance and passion manifested. So, he is able to see the others’ hearts. He can see who’s low on love and passion. He can see where they’re healing, where they’ve been broken, and its little cracks and scars.

Roman has seen all of the others’ hearts and he’s glad they’re all healing little by little after everything that’s happened. He can still remember the many times he’s seen those precious hearts falling apart in pain and in dark times.

Roman remembers Patton’s heart and how it would crack more and more as he bottled up his feelings. He remembers how it burst in the end and it came back together when Patton accepted that he wasn’t okay and took some time to heal.

Roman also remembers Logan’s heart and how slow his heartbreak was, the logical side too stubborn to admit his feelings. He recalls how the heart throbbed more and more, wanting to burst but ending up crumbling into tiny pieces instead before slowly reforming again as if it had stronger reinforcements.

Then there was the time Roman saw Virgil’s wounded heart pounding in worry and fear. He remembers feeling pity for the poor thing, seeing such a scarred heart. It made Roman wonder what Virgil had gone through.

Then Roman saw Janus’ heart and half of it was broken and the other half was scarred. It made Roman feel guilty, wondering if he did that or if Janus had his own dark past. And then there’s Remus. Roman was a bit surprised to see Remus even had a heart but that surprise turned into heavy guilt as he saw Remus’ heart. It was heavily scarred and broken…and it looked like it had been mended over and over.

Then there was Roman’s own heart. It was…well…It was the biggest out of everyone’s, full of passion and love for his work and his family. It was loud and pounded with bravery and joy, exuding the creative energy he uses every day. At least that’s how it used to be when everything was okay. Then things weren’t okay and they never were again.

Roman’s heart weakened and shrunk as if were hollow. Then it shattered loudly like glass. Roman hadn’t know what to do or who to ask so he repaired his own heart.

But just as he had healed it…his heart had been broken again. So the vicious and painful cycle started. His heart would get broken and he’d repair it again.

Over and over and over it continued until Roman grew tired of trying to repair his heart. He accepted that it was broken forever and it couldn’t be healed so he gave up trying, taking advantage of the fact that no one can even see it.

Sometimes though…Roman looks at his heart and wishes he could rip it out along with his real heart. It’s a thought Remus would be proud of and concerned about but it’s one thought Roman can’t stop thinking of. It’s just…why keep something broken? Why have a heart if it only breaks over and over and it hurts?

Maybe Logan was right about not feeling things. Sadly, Roman can’t rip his heart out. He’s needed by Thomas. Or, well, his ideas are needed. His creative work is needed. Roman himself? Well, clearly the others have made it clear he isn’t needed.

            The thoughts alone make Roman’s heart crack again. He’s lost count of how many cracks and scars he’s got across his heart. He doesn’t know anymore how many times he’s felt it throb and ache in pain. He’s used to all of it by now, ignoring the pain and the scars. He has an image to uphold and no one needs to see his battered, aching heart. Besides, they’ve all held his heart and left it destroyed. Why would he let them hold it again?

This is how Roman finds himself sitting in his chair at the dining table, having tuned out today’s discussion as he wasn’t needed yet. That stung a little but he doesn’t argue. Making a scene won’t do any good here. Instead, he keeps staring at his heart as it rests in his palm. It beats slowly, almost tiredly.

It used to be a bright red but it’s long faded over the years as his passion and love dwindled. His eyes then travel across the cracks and scars. His fingers twitch with the urge to crush the little thing into pieces until he can feel nothing. His thumb just barely digs into the surface. He doesn’t notice Remus or Janus watching him subtly.

Remus had long grown bored of the discussion as Patton babbled on and on about whatever. The intrusive side had stopped paying attention a while back. He had been chewing on the pen he stole from Logan when he glanced over at his twin. He can see him pressing at his palm with his thumb and he hums curiously, wondering what his brother is thinking of.

He usually doesn’t look into the others’ thoughts much since they’re often boring but he’s been peeking in on Roman’s lately. They’ve been growing more and more dark each day. It’s worrying though Remus will never admit that to anyone. So, Remus peeks into Roman’s mind and-

Just one squeeze…

It’ll hurt less…

Can’t trust them…

Want to rip it out…

It hurts…

Don’t want this anymore.

No more.

No more.

No more.

No-

Remus pulls out of those thoughts with a soft gasp which he quickly hides with a cough. He knows Janus saw him though and he shakes his head at Janus, mouthing a ‘later’ at him before glancing at Roman. The creative side is still staring at his hand, running his thumbnail across his palm over and over. It makes Remus grow a little concerned for his twin. Sure, he doesn’t act like it but he does care for Roman in his own ways.

Meanwhile, Roman is oblivious to everything, still running his thumb over his heart. It beats weakly, slowly, tiredly. He so badly wants to squeeze it until it breaks and bursts. He wants to rip it out and tear it into shreds. He’s tired of having a broken heart. It hurts too much and the others have no idea. Of course they don’t. They can’t see it. They can’t see his heart. They can’t see-

“Roman?”

Roman jumps, blinking as he’s pulled away from his darkening thoughts.

“Y-Yes?”

“I was asking you a question. Are you lost in your daydreams again?” Logan asks, that stern look on his face.

“I-I’m sorry, Specs. I suppose I was.” Roman smiles sheepishly.

Janus hides his one glowing eye as him and Remus glance at the prince.

Logan merely adjusts his glass.

“I’m not surprised. Please do pay attention. This discussion is beneficial for our next meeting with Thomas. Even if Creative input may not be needed.” he lectures before returning to the original topic.

Remus has to resist throwing another shuriken at the logical side’s forehead for that harsh comment. He glances at Roman again. His twin is staring at it his hand again and he frowns. The intrusive side peeks into his twin’s thoughts again.

No daydreams.

Daydreams are bad.

I’ll rip my brain out too.

After I rip my heart out.

My heart hurts.

I don’t want my heart.

No more heart.

No more pain.

They can’t see anyways.

They can’t see.

They don’t see-

Remus pulls out of those thoughts and glances at his twin. Is that what he sees? His own heart? He blinks and gazes at Roman, eyebrows slightly creased in concern. He doesn’t see what heart Roman is thinking about. He’s still…staring at his hand, dragging the nail of his thumb across the dry skin of his palm over and over as if he were trying to cut something.

It makes Remus want to say something but not even a little nasty thought comes to mind. It’s quiet in his head and it terrifies him. Remus can’t do much but squirm in his seat out of restlessness. As he shifts in his seat again, he hears Janus hiss softly.

“Janus?” Remus whispers, glancing at him in worry.

“Roman…he’s lying.” Janus mutters, pulling the brim of his hat down to hide the glow of his eye once again. “I can hear them.”

Janus looks over to Roman again. He hadn’t meant to tune into the prince’s dark thoughts but he could practically hear the lies screaming inside the Creative side. He’s heard the others’ lies but they were more like hushed whispers. Secrets not meant to be ever, ever told.

Roman’s, however, sounded like a cacophony of cries. It’s like the prince was hoping someone would hear them if it screamed loud enough. And it seemed to grow ever louder.

IT DOESN’T HURT

IT DOESN’T HURT

IT DOESN’T HURT

IT’S OKAY

IT’S OKAY

I’M OKAY

“Shit.” Janus hisses softly, biting his lip.

“Jan?” Remus squeezes his arm.

“His lies. They sound so agonizing.”

The two glance at Roman.

“Oh, RoRo…what’s going on in that messy head of yours?” Remus whispered.

The rest of the meeting continues as Logan lectures on and on. Remus and Janus continue watching Roman as said prince continues to remain oblivious. He barely registers if anyone is watching him. He hasn’t noticed Virgil glance his way with an anxious look or Janus letting out another soft hiss. He doesn’t hear Remus whimper softly out of worry for his twin. He doesn’t even move when Patton says his name or when Logan gives him a disappointed glance that makes Remus want to rip the logical side’s face off.

Roman just keeps staring at his heart. His thumb running over the growing cracks and digging deeper with each line. Just one rip or squeeze. Anything to rip this old heart apart. Just one tear or two or three and maybe it won’t hurt anymore. He starts to count the lines with each trace.

One, two, three more times he drags his thumbnail, driving it into the ravine of his glass heart.

Four, five, six more and he hardly notices the angry red line he’s creating on the palm of his hand.

Seven, eight, nine lines he’s traced, trying to dig even deeper. Deep enough to severe this wounded heart into pieces.

Ten-

“RoRo, stop, you’re bleeding!”

Roman blinks and gazes down at his hand. The heart isn’t there anymore. Just his hand…His bloody hand…Roman stares at his hand again a little longer, wishing it were his heart instead. He frowns and runs his thumb over the line again, barely flinching at the sting. He’s felt much, much worse anyways. He just wants it to stop. He doesn’t like hurting anymore. Obviously, he can’t duck out but-

“RoRo!”

Roman looks up and Remus is right there in front of him, hands on his shoulders, the others behind him staring at him.

“RoRo, are you…okay?” Remus asks, voice unusually soft and worried.

It makes Roman want to cry and give in but what do they care? They’ll just do the routine again. He’ll cry, they’ll worry and prod, he’ll tell them his burdens, they’ll assure him and comfort him, and then once he’s on his feet, the others will leave again.

Roman smiles weakly instead.

“I’m okay.”

And then he sunk out as tears pricked his eyes.

Roman sinks up into his room and the tears fall along with the weak smile as he crumples to the floor. How could Remus ask him that? He never cared. He should be happy with the bloodshed. That’s what he wanted right?

And the others…they wouldn’t care either. Roman chokes, stuck between broken laughter and agonizing sobs. It hurts so much, realizing that he’ll always have a broken heart. It hurts even worse, knowing he’ll always have it inside him…unless…

The princes stands up, not caring that he’s still bleeding or crying. His other hand presses at his chest as he drives it deep inside. There’s a reason why the sides’ bodies weren’t as real as Thomas’. For once, Roman’s glad they’re metaphysical. It’ll be less messy.

Roman digs around and around. It’s here somewhere…there! He feels his heart’s fragile glass, threatening to crack any second. He’s tempted to leave it there until it breaks again so the shards can stab him from the inside but really, he’s sick and tired of feeling it beat and throb and break. So with a growl, he pulls.

And he pulls.

And pulls.

And pulls.

And…

The prince finally rips his heart out with an agonizing cry.

Roman nearly sags in relief, finally free of the heavy pain and ache. He nearly falls again and his wounded hand grips at the sink. He feels tired now but he glances at his heart. It beats ever so weaker and it’s become so small. But that’s okay. He doesn’t need it. Not anymore.

Roman stares at the damned thing and…he laughs. He laughs and laughs until it hurts. Until tears start streaming down his face. He laughs as he staggers back to his room, falling to the floor with one final thought.

I’m finally free.

And Roman’s heart stops beating as it falls to the floor and shatters into pieces.

----

Before he could even sink out of his chair, Remus screams in pain and doubles over.

“Remus! Remus, what is it?” comes Janus’ voice from his beside him.

Remus hisses, clutching his chest.

“H-Hurts!”

“What hurts? Are you hiding an injury again?”

“N-No! R-Roman, I can feel him! He’s-ngh!” Remus cries out again. “He’s hurt!”

“Remus,” Janus tries to ask only to be cut off by another cry.

“N-Need to help RoRo! Now!”

Before Janus can ask further, Remus tears out of his hold and braces through the pain, dashing out of the kitchen and up the stairs. As he stumbles up the final steps, Remus tries to listen for his brother’s thoughts but he’s only met with dead silence. This terrifies him and makes the intrusive side hurry down the hall.

When he gets to the door, Remus doesn’t even bother knocking. He musters some strength and bulldozes right through. Then Remus freezes up.

“RoRo!”

Roman lays unconscious on the floor, his colors now dull like his dead eyes. The wound on his hand had long stopped bleeding but has yet to heal. His room felt cold and dark. It’s as if something or someone were missing from it. Like the life of the room itself was…gone.

Remus is immediately at his twin’s side, pulling his body onto his lap. Shaky hands move to turn Roman’s face towards him and for the first time, it makes Remus actually sick to see his twin like this. No silly smile, no excessive glitter, no rainbow blush or even his glow. It’s completely wrong. It’s not Roman at all. It makes Remus sick and angry. With a low growl, Remus summons everyone to Roman’s room.

“Remus, I told you not to-oh. Oh no.” Janus steps forward, kneeling down.

“I hate it when you-oh shit, Roman!” Virgil is immediately on Roman’s other side.

“Remus, you know it’s rude to-oh goodness!” Patton’s hands fly to his mouth in shock.

“What did you have to summon me here for-oh. Oh dear.” Logan falls speechless.

Remus sniffs and glares at the others, eyes glowing red as he holds his twin protectively.

“What happened to him? I. want. Answers.” he growls.

“W-We don’t know, Remus. Honest. We haven’t noticed anything off with Roman.” Patton replies with a gulp.

“Yeah, Princey said he was fine yesterday.” Virgil stammers, wringing his hands.

Remus huffs and looks to Janus.

“They’re both telling the truth.” Janus hums then frowns, looking up with a glowing eye. “But there seems to be a lie in there.”

Remus glares at Patton and Virgil again then to Janus.

“What is it? What’s the lie?” he asks.

Janus looks at Roman and shakes his head.

“That Roman is fine. He is very far from fine.” he sighs. “He lied to Virgil.”

Virgil blinks and frowns.

“But he…he looked fine…Didn’t he?”

Janus shakes his head.

“Our prince is a better actor than we give him credit for.”

“Oh, Roman…have we been hurting you all this time?” Patton sniffs, taking a step closer.

Remus only growls ferally and holds Roman closer, making Patton yelp and jump back.

“It’s alright, Remus. They won’t harm him.” Janus assures him, squeezing his shoulder.

“They already did. I don’t trust them not to do so again.” he huffs. “The only reason they aren’t splattered all over my mace and across the walls yet is because I know RoRo doesn’t want me to hurt them.”

Janus gazes at Roman’s face, guilt pooling in his stomach. Despite their rocky relationship, the prince never once wished harm towards him. Not even through Remus. And in return, Janus could only keep hurting him. What had he done?

“Roman’s been hurt a lot. I think…he’s been carrying so much weight that he’s buckled over from it.” The snake side sadly mutters a moment later. “He’s exhausted.”

Remus sighs and fixes Roman’s hair the best he can, tucking in that one stray curl.

“He looks more than exhausted, Jan. He looks fucking dead. Like the life has been ripped out of him.” he mumbles.

At the same time, Patton gasps softly and all eyes are on him.

“Roman…he’s…he’s so cold inside. How did I not see?” he sniffs, his tears falling.

“Cold?” Remus tilts his head.

“I can see when one of you are feeling cold inside from feeling bad or hurt. It helps me know when to provide warmth and love.” Patton explains, hands shaking with the want to warm Roman.

That’s when Virgil realizes something too.

“Oh fuck…Yesterday when I asked Roman how he was doing…I felt something off but I didn’t question it. I thought…fuck, I thought he was nervous about his trip to the Imagination or today’s meeting.” he explains, pausing to take in a shaky breath. “I didn’t know how much he was hiding until earlier today when he cut his hand. He panicked and he was scared about us finding out something then…it was just…gone. Like he wasn’t scared anymore.”

“You can see things too?” Logan questions.

Virgil nods, a hand hovering over Roman to touch him. When Remus approves, Virgil holds one of Roman’s hands. It feels cold.

“I can. I see fears and worries but I try not to pry unless I needed to.” he mutters. “I should’ve looked into Roman’s though.”

Remus huffs.

“Don’t blame yourself too much. Roman was just too good at hiding things.” he mumbles before sighing. “I saw his thoughts though. They…They were fucked up. Like, super fucked up for someone like Ro who usually has sunshine and love coming out of his ass.”

The intrusive side still remembers Roman’s thoughts from earlier. So dark. So painful. So loud.

Logan gazes at Roman and frowns.

“I can’t see anything logical. Or any facts.” he gasps before flustering and clarifying, “I can’t see anything there to help me with Roman other than his title and traits. I do see insecure, burned out, and…oh. Oh, Roman…”

Roman Sanders is brokenhearted.

And Logan averts his gaze as guilt sinks in. He’s hardly felt this much guilt before. But now, it feels like a growing weight as he wonders how much Roman internalized his words. All of it.

“Logan?” Patton shakes him out of his trance.

“I…I have hurt Roman a lot…haven’t I?” the logical side whispers, a lump in his throat. “Everything I’ve said and done to him…I didn’t think Roman took it that much to heart. I-I thought—"

“You thought you were knocking RoRo down a peg or two? Oh, you did. You knocked him down so hard his self-esteem is fucking broken.” Remus cuts in with a growl.

Logan bows his head in shame, his dignity long gone.

“Sometimes I forget that Roman is also The Ego. I never realized how much my words had impact on him. Did…Did I push him too far?”

“I think…we all did. We all hurt Roman in many ways and we didn’t realize it.” Janus hisses. “But we still don’t know what he did to himself.”

Remus sucks in a breath as he feels another wave of pain.

“Whatever it is, it really fucking hurts. It’s like something’s…missing. Something’s gone from Roman and it feels like something’s missing from me too.” he shudders, a free hand on his chest. “Ugh, it feels like something’s been ripped out of me.”

Janus blinks and glances between the twins.

“Like…a heart?”

“Yeah…wait what?” Remus asks, confused. “What are you talking about, Janus?”

Janus places a hand on Roman’s chest, shuddering at how he can’t feel the prince’s once mighty heartbeat. Not that he knew what his heartbeat was like.

“Everyone here mentioned what they could see. For you and me, Remus, it’s quite obvious. For Roman, we can’t see what he does. So what if Roman can see hearts?”

“It…It makes sense.” Logan gasps, eyes widening in revelation. “Roman is not only Creativity or the Ego. He is passion and…love…”

“S-So Roman could see our hearts? Even when they were broken?” Patton squeaks, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. His poor, poor kiddo.

Janus and Logan nod.

“He always did know what to do when we were hurting. We never realized how…or that he did it to hide his own heart.” Janus whispers, turning away as a single tear rolls down his cheek.

Roman was always there for everyone, comforting them and cheering them up. He set aside his own broken heart to be there for the others. No one even bothered to help him. No one noticed how desperate he was for someone to hold his heart and fill it with love and warmth or how scared he was to even give his heart away. Roman made sure that everyone came first.

Now, here was Roman. Lifeless. Loveless. Empty. And they all blamed themselves. Janus had manipulated him, threatening him with every weakness he could find like it were blackmail.

Logan knew what words to use to keep Roman in line, to shut him down and put him in his place.

Patton pressured him too much, piled expectation upon expectation and never gave the prince a chance to defend himself. Whenever Roman tried to express himself or voice his opinion, Patton would unknowingly guilt trip him back into compliance.

Virgil belittled him every chance he got, throwing insults at Roman and never once apologized because Roman was always being told off. Even if he was hurt all the same.

Remus tried so hard to be a better brother but The Voices often got too loud or he’d hit him too hard.

It's dead silent for a moment before Remus sniffles. Remus never cries so it’s almost an alarming sound to the others.

“How do we fix it? How do we fix his heart?” he asks, his voice painfully small and broken. His eyes looking Roman over. He misses his loud, colorful brother.

“Well…Broken hearts need love, right?” Patton replies. “We just have to love Roman more.”

Remus can’t help but huff and scoff at that.

“Oh, now he says that.” he mutters.

He knows Patton wants to help but after seeing how the fatherly side betrayed Roman at his weakest, even the intrusive side himself couldn’t trust him. It makes Remus hold Roman just a little tighter, another tear rolling down his cheek and onto Roman’s face.

Janus, however, knows Remus well and squeezes his shoulder.

“Remus, you have to let them in so they can try to help. They won’t hurt Roman anymore. Not now when they know the truth.” he sighs before gazing down at Roman’s pale face. “Besides, we’re both guilty of hurting Roman too.”

Remus droops and sniffs.

“You’re right…I just…I want to be a better brother for RoRo so we can be friends again. I swore he’d never be hurt again but I failed.” he whispers brokenly, running a thumb over one of Roman’s scar on his cheek. “I want to help too.”

Janus dries Remus’ tears.

“You already are, Remus. Now,” he gestures to the others who were standing by and waiting. “Let them in.”

Remus looks up at the two, breathing in shakily. He glances at Roman then back at them.

“Fine.” he huffs but puts a hand up before they could move. “But I’m watching all of you. And not a word about what I said earlier. I still have a reputation to keep because you shitheads need to learn when to back off from RoRo.”

Virgil chuckles softly, face hidden in his hoodie.

“We know, Remus. Your secret is safe with us.” he promises, squeezing Roman’s hand.

Remus, slightly flustered, huffs and looks back at his twin.

“Let’s just help Ro already.” he mumbles.

It’s awkwardly silent for a moment before Janus decides to step forward, kneeling down in front of the prince. He removes his right glove and takes Roman’s other hand, squeezing it gently.

“I may have apologized before but I’ll do it again. I…I am so, so sorry, my dear prince. I never noticed how much harm I have caused you. I never saw your broken heart. I was meant to protect you.” he says, gazing at Roman’s sash then his face as if he were reminiscing. “I promised myself I would and I didn’t. For that, I’m very sorry and I know mere words may not fix everything but know that I will do what it takes to earn your forgiveness. Know that you are very much loved. You are our prince. Our Roman. We need you more than you think.”

Janus squeezes Roman’s hand and leans over, planting a kiss on his forehead. When nothing happens, Janus lets go and replaces his glove as he gazes sadly at the sleeping prince.

It’s then that Virgil feels brave and swallows his nerves, taking a deep breath.

“Fuck, uh, I’m going next.” he gulps, moving closer to Roman and pulling his hood down.

A clammy hand moves to caress Roman’s cheek.

“Hey, Princey…I’ve been a shitty friend, huh? You’ve made up with me and always did your best to make me feel welcome and included here on your side. You always fight off my worries and…” Virgil pauses and flusters. “You were the only one who really knew how to calm me down. And yet, I hurt you without realizing it. You never really did get an apology or even a chance to defend yourself. It was always me that got away with it. I guess I should’ve pumped the breaks too.”

Virgil takes in a shaky breath, eyeshadow darker than ever. He then continues.

“I’m so fucking sorry. For everything. For hurting you. For all my awful words. For constantly making fun of you when you work so hard.” he mutters before smiling softly. “You know…we were an awesome team at the mall. Yeah, I freaked out but if you weren’t there, I don’t think I could’ve pushed Thomas into meeting Nico. Literally. You were always so much braver than me and I wanted to be just as brave too. I…We love you, Roman. Flaws and all. I wish you could see that. I wish you could see how much you do for us.”

He then leans down and kisses Roman’s cheek, face flushed.

Janus can’t help but chuckle a little.

“How cute. Though, were you going to say something else there, Virgil? I thought I heard something else…” he teases.

Virgil blinks and reddens, glaring at Janus for a moment.

“S-Shut the fuck up, asshole.”

Remus raises an eyebrow at that.

“We’re talking about that later, emo.” he says, grinning slightly.

Virgil swallows again and nods, letting Roman go so Remus can hold him again.

“R-Right, yeah. Whatever. Who’s next?”

Logan steps forward, kneeling beside Virgil.

“May I, Remus?” he asks first.

Remus huffs but loosens his hold on Roman.

“Thank you.”

Logan then takes Roman’s hand, gazing at it. Oh, the poor thing’s hand looks so worn. So tired.

He can feel the callouses on his fingertips and the scars on his skin. He wonders just how much Roman often pushed himself to meet everyone’s demands. Especially the logical side’s own requests. He can’t help but feel guilty. Both he and Roman do a lot of work for Thomas and everyone but he always treated Roman like he was never working enough or that he was only worth 0.5% of Thomas’ day.

Glancing around the mess that is Roman’s room, Logan realizes just how hard Roman works.

There’s stacks of papers piled on the desk and a big cork board above it, covered in notes and reminders on top of a calendar filled with scribbles. Several books are stacked on the other side of the desk with sticky note tabs jutting out from them in different pages. Logan realizes too that he should visit Roman more often and brainstorm here. He then turns back to Roman, squeezing his hand.

“Roman…I’m sorry. For every word I said. For underestimating you. For using your weaknesses against you whenever we argued. For making you question your worth. You are worth so much more and I failed to notice.” he sniffles regretfully, failing to keep his voice from breaking. “You work just as hard and I understand what it’s like to see your efforts go to waste. I should have been there for you. Especially since you’ve worked so hard to be better for us. You don’t have to. You were enough. You were so good enough. I apologize for never realizing how much my words have broken your heart. You’re not stupid or a fool or worthless. You are Prince Roman of Creativity. You are important and needed.”

Logan kisses Roman’s hand because he’s unsure of what else to do before letting go.

He then turns to remove his glasses and scrub at his face before turning back.

“I…I hope Roman can hear us.” he stammers, clearing his throat.

“I hope so too.” Patton nods. He had been lost in thought. He kneels beside Logan, tears already rolling down his cheeks. “C-Can I go next, Remus?”

Remus nods.

“Just watch yourself, froggy.” he mutters.

“I will. Thank you.”

Patton then takes Roman’s hand, squeezing it too.

“Oh, kiddo…I’m so, so sorry. I’m supposed to be the dad that takes care of everyone but I failed to take care of you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!” he sobs, hiccupping and sniffling. “I should’ve been there. I should’ve listened to you too. I shouldn’t have weighed you down with all those expectations. You always make us feel happy and loved. You know how to cheer us up and you make us feel so safe. In return, we made you feel as if you had to hide. As if you had to play your role perfectly. You can take a break, Roman. You can let your guard down. You aren’t weak for your mistakes. We still love you. You are part of our family and we can’t be whole without you. We need you too!”

Patton then breaks down and sobs harder into Roman’s hand, kissing it. When he manages to calm down a bit, he reluctantly lets Roman’s hand go.

Silence falls back in as everyone watches Roman. Remus then realizes it’s his turn and sighs, staring at his twin. He then glances at the others who are waiting for Remus to speak.

“Look,” Remus huffs. “I…I don’t usually do this mushy, gushy shit so don’t fucking judge me if I say all the wrong stuff, okay? RoRo and I have our own brand of showing we care.”

“Of course, Remus. Your secret is safe with me.”

“Yeah, Remus. You’ve always been more of an action guy. I know.”

“We know, Remus. You’re a good brother, kiddo.”

“Understandable. This is between you and your brother.”

Remus nods his thanks and turns back to his brother, taking a deep breath. One hand holds Roman’s and the other tugs at the sash, turning it so a messily embroidered “R” in green is shown at the bottom.

“RoRo? Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling bad again? Why do you keep hiding? I know I’m not always the nicest brother but I’m trying. The voices are assholes sometimes, y’know? Yeah, I said I wanted you dead but I didn’t mean it. I still need you here. You’re my literal other half.” he whispers sadly, his hand moving to tug at his own sash which has its own embroidered “R” but in golden cursive this time.

Remus breathes out shakily, more tears rolling down makeup-streaked cheeks as he continues.

“Even though you were jealous of me. Sometimes I was jealous of you. You could create without fail. You could heal and fix whatever I messed up. I…I always thought you were amazing, little brother. Even when everyone else didn’t think so or were too blind to see it. Please come back, RoRo. We royal promised we’d be brothers forever and you can’t break that promise. We still gotta annoy Logan and mess with Virgil. We were supposed to hang out with Janus too so you guys can be friends. S-So wake up already you dramatic fuck. Wake up!”

Then Remus sobs and it’s…actually gut wrenching to hear. No one besides Janus and maybe Virgil has ever heard the Intrusive side cry like this. Sure, the twins don’t get along but it’s clear now that they really need each other.

“Shh, he’ll be okay, little squid. We’ll love him as much as he needs.” comes Janus’ soft voice, a hand rubbing Remus’ shaking back.

Then…

As everyone cries over their fallen prince, there’s a golden spark in the corner of the room and warm glow fills the room as that spark rises from the floor. The sides gaze at the spark as it rises higher and higher, moving towards the center of the room.

Then glass-like shards appear one by one in different colors. Green, Yellow, Purple, Cyan, Navy blue, Red. They spin around the spark and come together forming…a heart.

Sometimes, metaphorical hearts are compared to glass, tough during the hardest moments and fragile during the weakest moments. Easy to shatter, harder to put the pieces back together.

But love makes it easier to keep the pieces together and it seems it did for this heart. The heart spins and lowers, moving towards its home. To Roman. It stays there though. Ripping out a heart is difficult and it would be just as hard to put it back in.

Remus then blinks.

“I-I can see it. I can see RoRo’s heart. What do I do?! I don’t know how to heal. I’m gonna mess it up.” he stammers.

Janus squeezes his shoulder.

“Hey, it’s alright, Remus. You can do it. You want to help your brother, yes?”

Remus nods.

“I do but…” his hands hesitate above the heart. It looks very fragile. “I don’t want to hurt him again.”

Oh Remus…

Janus smiles softly and puts his hand over Remus’ shaking pair.

“You won’t, my dear. I’m right here too.” he soothes, squeezing Remus’ hand to still his shaking.

Another pair of hands join, pale and clammy and just as shaky.

“I-I wanna help Roman’s heart too.” Virgil nods.

Remus nods.

“For Roman.”

Patton and Logan step forward, both nervous and still guilty.

“C-Can we help too, Remus? We want to make this right.” Patton asks, wringing his hands.

He owed Roman lots of love and care after lacking the past years.

Logan nods too.

“I want to atone for what I’ve done. For what I’ve said. I want to remove every awful word I must have buried in there.” he manages to choke out, not even caring that his face is wet with tears again.

Remus breathes in and nods.

“You can but it’ll take more than this for Roman to heal so you both definitely have a lot to make up for. Fuck that up and I’ll have your heads before Roman can even stop me.” he growls, glaring at them.

“We won’t hurt him anymore, Remus. We promise.” Patton assures the dark twin.

“We’ll be kinder to him. Give him the love he needs.” Logan adds.

“You better.” Remus huffs. “Now get over here.”

The two nod and place their hands over Virgil’s.

Then they gently push the heart down into Roman’s chest, slowly and carefully.

“Wake up, RoRo. Please don’t rip your heart out again.”

“Come back to us, little prince. We need you so much.”

“We’re here, Princey. We see you and hear you.”

“Please take your heart, Roman. It is a vital part of who you are. Our dear prince.”

“Oh, kiddo. Don’t worry, I’ll be here to help you if your heart hurts again. I’ll give you all the warmth you need.”

They push down more and more and slowly the heart sinks into Roman’s chest. Once it’s fully in, a golden ray of light blooms from Roman’s body as if the heart were thanking them for returning it home. Then-

“RoRo!” Remus gasps.

With a sparkle of magic and gold, Roman’s color slowly returns. It starts from his feet and climbs up, his sash bright red again and his skin turning back to its beautiful tan color. Even Roman’s eyes regain life, the dull green brightening back into a lovely emerald.

Then Roman gasps for air.

---

Roman doesn’t know how long he’d been out but he hadn’t expected to wake up. When he does, he gasps for air and squirms in the pair of arms he’s in before looking about. His eyes widen. They’re…They’re all here. Why are they here? This isn’t right. This isn’t how it’s supposed to end.

No, no, no. Why did they fix it again? They’re just gonna break it. He’s gonna break it again and-

“RoRo! Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

Roman shakes his head, squirming out of whoever is holding him.

“No, no! It’s not! It’s not okay!”

He stumbles to his feet but someone grabs his arm.

“Roman, look at me.”

Roman whips his head around and he sees…Remus?

“R-Ree…”

“Hey, dumb dumb. It’s okay now. It’s okay.” Remus soothes, his voice unusually soft.

Remus doesn’t look like it but he can be soft during the right times. It’s not often he shows it though. It’s often reserved for his brother since the poor thing doesn’t do well with tough love.

Roman, stubborn as ever, shakes his head as his breath hitches.

“It’s not! I-It wasn’t supposed to be fixed! It wasn’t supposed to go back inside!” he cries, clutching at his chest.

Janus takes that moment to take Roman’s hands in his, the snake’s gloves nowhere to be seen.

“Roman, my dear prince, look at me.”

“J-Janus?” Roman gazes at him, confused and lost. Poor, poor thing.

“There’s that pretty face, beautiful rose. You look so tired. So weary. We’ve hurt you a lot, haven’t we?” Janus replies, caressing Roman’s cheek.

Roman can’t help but lean into his touch. It makes Janus’ heart ache.

“W-What’s…What’s happening?”

“That’s what we want to know, my prince.”

Roman blinks.

“We…?”

The prince then looks around and he’s startled to see the others here too. His head feels dizzy as he looks between every face in front of him.

Patton looks antsy as if he were itching to give a hug. Logan looks remorseful, gaze averted in shame.

Virgil looks very worried, eyeshadow messy and dark while his hands twist into the fabric of his hoodie. Remus and Janus are the closest to him, smiling small but sadly in concern.

It makes Roman pull away from Janus, hugging himself as if it was going to protect him.

“I…How did you even know I was here?” he asks.

Remus squeezes Roman’s shoulder.

“Twin bond. I knew you did something to yourself the moment I felt like I was stabbed.” he sighs, a hand over his own heart. “I felt your pain, Roman.”

Roman swallows and shrinks in on himself.

“Oh…I…I forget that you often feel what I do, Ree. I’m sorry.” he mumbles.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault, RoRo.” Remus sighs. “So, do you want to tell us why your heart was outside of you?”

Roman hangs his head in shame. The words are on his lips and he so badly wants to tell them everything. Yet, he feels hesitant. What if, after they comfort him, they go back to what they were doing and they end up breaking his heart again? What if they’re only doing this to make sure Thomas still has his Creativity and not Roman himself? What if they’re doing this make themselves feel better and they’ll drop him later?

“Hey. Princey. Roman, look at me.”

Roman looks up and blinks, seeing Virgil standing in front of him.

“V-Virgil…”

Virgil cups his face and wipes a stray tear.

“Let us in, Roman. We want to help you.”

“Y-You do?”

“Of course. We all do.”

“But…But it’s rotten work…”

Virgil chuckles. He missed Roman’s little movie references.

“Not to me, it’s not. Not if it’s you.”

Roman blinks and takes a deep breath.

“Okay.”

Virgil takes that moment to let Roman go.

“Take your time, Princey.”

Roman nods, still hugging himself.

Then after a moment of silence-

“I ripped my heart out.” Roman whispers like it’s still a secret. “I ripped my heart out because it was broken and it hurt inside. I was tired of feeling it break and be fixed over and over. I was tired of feeling hurt all the time.”

Soft gasps fill the room.

“Oh, Roman…”

Roman places a hand over his chest where his heart his now.

“I guess you all figured it out but I can see hearts. I can see who needs love or passion. I can see broken hearts. I knew none of you could see mine so I never bothered to fix mine. I thought it was too broken and…”

Roman gazes at Patton then Logan and then Janus, the three of them wilting in guilt.

“I was scared.” Roman whimpers. “I didn’t want to give my heart to someone who might break it again and again. I’ve put my heart into all your hands and…”

“A-And we broke it, didn’t we?” Patton whispers with guilt and anger at himself in his voice. “I’m so sorry, kiddo. We didn’t know how fragile your heart already was.”

Roman sighs.

“It’s okay—”

“Stop right there. It’s not okay, little one.” Janus cuts in. “We all hurt you and made you feel as if you couldn’t show your heart to us. We should be apologizing to you.”

“B-But what if you break it all over again?”

Oh, Roman…

Janus can’t help but feel guilt churning in his stomach again. Part of him feels like he’s majorly to blame for the prince’s trust issue.

It’s no wonder the poor thing can’t reach out or open up. He’d become too afraid to ask for love let alone even try, thinking he’d be slapped in the face with rejection or be called out for being overdramatic again.

It’s a horrifying realization to Janus and he holds up his right hand.

“I promise you that we won’t. Not anymore, my prince. We all love you more than you’ll ever know.” Janus swears. “I know you might not believe it but it’s true.”

Roman feels his heart and…oh. It’s…It’s beating so much. It really wants to be loved. He wants to be loved. So much.

“Please be careful with my heart.”

Janus smiles softly.

“I will, my prince. We all will.”

Remus squeezes his shoulder again.

“We won’t let you feel the need to rip your heart again, RoRo.” he adds.

“You’re okay now, Princey. We’ll take care of you.”

“We love you so much, kiddo! We’ll always love you!”

“I may not be the best with love and affection but I will do my best to be here for you too, Roman. You are worth more than you think.”

Roman blinks.

“Oh.”

Overwhelmed by all the sudden love, Roman forgets all his words and his legs give out as he falls to his knees. Oh dear.

Remus is immediately at his side.

“RoRo?”

Roman trembles.

“I just…you all…I…”

Then the prince finally lets out the tears he’s bottled up. His broken sobs fill the room like a sorrowful song.

Remus whimpers and holds his twin tight.

“You’ve been keeping that in for so long, huh? Just let it out, RoRo. We’re right here.” he whispers. “You’re going to be okay, little brother.”

Janus decides to join too, kneeling and wrapping his arms around the twins.

“You’ve been through so much, little prince. Let yourself cry. We’ll dry your tears.” he murmurs.

Virgil crouches in front of them and squeezes Roman’s shoulder this time.

“You’re safe, Roman. I’m here to protect you and your heart.” he assures him.

Logan and Patton join too.

“We love you, Roman. We love you.” Patton repeats over and over to remind Roman as he promised.

“We’re here, Roman.” Logan adds.

Roman cries and cries until he can’t and it dwindles into soft hiccups and sniffles. He doesn’t pull away from Remus though, not wanting him to leave. He desperately wants to believe this all real.

As he holds onto Remus and feels his family around him, Roman feels his heart beating peacefully now. Of course, the pain is still there and will be for a long time. Yet, he can feel some of it ebb away.

It’s difficult to heal a broken heart but with enough love, it can be free of its pain little by little. It’s definitely going to be a long time of healing for Roman and his heart but each side makes a silent vow to help him along the way.

And maybe in the future, Janus steps up as the Ego’s protector and carer. He’s there to hold him when he cries and to stand up for him when the world seems against him. He helps Roman be more open with his feelings and takes care of him when his days start to get dark. He does his best to silence the lies in the prince’s mind.

Virgil is a little more careful and kinder. He still banters with Roman but apologizes this time when he goes too far or says something hurtful. He’ll be more alert, slowly helping Roman tell him all his fears and worries so he can help him through it. At some point, Virgil and Roman even sit down and go over what insults might be too far or a sore spot, both promising never to use them against each other.

In the future, Patton is softer around Roman, doing his best to be understanding. He makes sure to hear Roman out and checks in on him when he sees him feeling cold inside. He loves him a little more and puts out a big effort to listen to Roman in discussions and works more with him to find compromises or better ideas to dilemmas. And if Patton hears Roman say an ‘I love you, padre” one day, he cherishes it.

Logan is a lot less harsh with Roman, helping him with his work and being understanding when Roman asks for a break. He’s more careful in giving Roman feedback to his ideas, starting with what he liked and ending with suggestions for improvement. He also makes sure to remind Roman that he’s very much worth a lot more than he thinks. And when they start arguing, Logan reminds himself of Roman’s heart and pauses to let them both cool down before talking to Roman again.

And as for Remus, he tries the hardest out of everyone. He’s still his chaotic self, often pestering Roman but also getting along with him better. They do still fight like siblings but when Roman’s hurt, Remus is there to pick him up and hold him. He does his best to cheer Roman up when he’s sad and they take more trips to the Imagination to just hang out when Roman doesn’t want to be overwhelmed by the others.

With all this love for the prince, Roman’s heart would feel fuller than ever. It would finally be on the mend and Roman would come to see that it won’t ever be broken again. Not with his family there to keep the pieces together.

For now though, Roman lets his family hold him as his heart keeps beating inside him where it’s meant to be.

[demonicangelics-world]

Redamancy - Zestial X Angel!OC

Chapter One: The Parade

Synopsis: In the shadowy realms of Hell and the celestial heights of Heaven, two souls grapple with the ache of unrequited love. Zestial, the formidable demon overlord, commands respect and fear. His past has forged a reputation that isolates him. Resigned to a life of power and isolation, he yearned for companionship and understanding, knowing that his intimidating demeanor made such connections seemingly impossible. Gabriela, once a radiant angel, admired the archangel Michael from afar, her heart swelling with unspoken affection for his divine strength and kindness. Casted into Hell on a mission, she now struggles to survive in a world where danger lurks at every corner, her angelic essence buried beneath a demonic exterior. Amidst the chaos of Hell and the secrets of Heaven, a profound and forbidden love ignites between them, challenging the very core of their beliefs and values.

Chapter One: The Parade Next Chapter: The Extermination

word count: 4,328 

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The sky above Heaven shimmered with radiant hues, as if the very essence of joy and triumph painted the heavens. 

On this glorious night, known as the Parade, we guardian angels from across the Earth returned to our heavenly home. Streets of pearl and gold thronged with winners and heavenborn, their songs of praise echoing through the air. The Parade was a grand spectacle, a testament to our hard work and dedication in successfully guiding countless souls to the gates of Heaven. 

I scanned the sea of radiant faces for familiar ones. It had been over a year since I last saw Aramel and Charlotte, and the anticipation of reuniting with them added an extra flutter to my wings. The golden light and the throng of celebrating angels made it difficult to spot anyone, but I was determined to find them before the gates opened.

As I maneuvered through the dense crowd, a burst of laughter caught my attention. I turned towards the sound and there they were—Aramel, his light eyes sparkling with mischief, and Charlotte, her broad smile as radiant as the heavens themselves.

"Aramel! Charlotte!" I called out, waving energetically.

They spotted me almost immediately. Aramel elbowed his way through the crowd with his usual enthusiasm, while Charlotte followed, her laughter ringing like a bell.

"Gabriela!" Aramel shouted, reaching me first. "You look like you've just stepped out of a painting. Must be that heavenly glow."

"Aramel, you're still as charming as ever," I laughed, hugging him tightly.

Charlotte joined us, her eyes twinkling. "It’s been too long! How have you been, Gabriela? Still managing to stay out of trouble?"

"Trouble? Me? Never!" I grinned, embracing her. "But you two look fantastic. How was your year on Earth?"

"Busy," Charlotte said, rolling her eyes playfully. "I swear, humans find the most creative ways to mess up their lives."

"And here we are, cleaning up the mess," Aramel added with a mock sigh. "But hey, all worth it for this moment, right?"

"Absolutely," I agreed, feeling a surge of warmth and happiness. "I've missed you both so much.”

As the gates of Heaven began to slowly open, we stood together, ready to step into the next chapter of our divine journey, our hearts full of joy and camaraderie.

This parade occurred each year on December 31st, which mortals considered as New Year’s Eve. Over the gates, the Eternal Clock stood as a towering masterpiece at the center of the celestial city. Its hands, slender and elegant, moved with a grace that belied their immense size, each tick resonating with a melodious chime that echoed through the celestial realm. When the chime finally struck midnight, it signaled a new year and all of heaven broke into joyous celebration.

The gates of Heaven opened wide as we floated high on golden platforms through the crowded streets. Among the procession, I floated with Aramel and Charlotte, dressed in white robes and my wings gleaming with a soft, divine light. I basked in the adoration of the heavenly crowd. Trumpets blared, and a shower of golden petals rained down upon us, each petal symbolizing the purity and virtue we had upheld.

"This is what we strive for, the ultimate recognition of our efforts!” Aramel shouted over the cheering crowds, "To be celebrated here, in the heart of Heaven!"

Charlotte laughed, her voice carrying a musical quality even over the noise. "Aramel, you always know how to make everything sound like a grand adventure."

My heart swelled with pride as I waved to the crowd, my eyes catching sight of a grand banner bearing the words, "Welcome, Guardians of Light." The celebration seemed endless.

"It is a grand adventure!" Aramel declared, his eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "Just think of all the souls we’ve saved, all the chaos we've averted. And now, we're back here, the heroes of the hour!"

"Heroes, huh?" I said, grinning. "And here I thought we were just doing our job."

"Hey, if doing our job means we get to ride on golden platforms and have petals thrown at us, I'll take it," Charlotte quipped, adjusting her halo with a playful wink.

Aramel nudged me with his elbow. "Remember that one soul in New York? The guy who almost jumped off the bridge? I swear, he had more issues than a newspaper stand."

"Oh, definitely," I nodded, recalling the tense moment vividly. "But you handled it well, Aramel. Your knack for talking people down is unmatched."

"Thanks, Gabby. And Charlotte, remember that time in Paris with the artist who lost his muse? You practically inspired a whole new art movement!" Aramel added, his tone admiring.

Charlotte shrugged modestly, but her smile was proud. "Well, someone had to remind him that beauty exists everywhere. And speaking of beauty, look at this place! Heaven really knows how to throw a parade."

We floated higher, the adoring crowd cheered louder as we passed. I took a moment to soak in the scene, the grandeur of the celebration a stark contrast to the moments of doubt and hardship we faced on Earth.

As we floated on, the golden petals continued to rain down, and for a brief, perfect moment, everything felt exactly as it should.

The platforms ascended gracefully, lifting us higher into the radiant skies toward the grand banquet hall. As we floated upward, the sounds of cheering and music gradually blended into a harmonious symphony. The hall itself was a marvel, constructed of shimmering crystal and gold, with vast windows that opened to the celestial vistas beyond. At the center of the platform stood Sera and Emily, their divine presence even more striking amidst the splendor.

Aramel, Charlotte, and I exchanged excited glances as we neared the banquet. “Look at this place,” Charlotte whispered, awe evident in her voice.

We touched down softly, the platforms seamlessly blending into the grand expanse of the banquet hall. The air was filled with the enticing aromas of heavenly cuisine, and tables laden with ambrosial delights stretched out before us. Guardian angels from all corners of Earth gathered, their faces glowing with pride and joy.

At the heart of it all, Sera and Emily stood in the center with welcoming smiles. Sera spoke, her gaze warm yet powerful. “Welcome home, guardians. Your dedication has not gone unnoticed.”

Emily, standing beside her, nodded in agreement. “You’ve all done incredible work. Tonight, we celebrate you!”

The crowd settled into their seats, the buzz of excited conversation filling the air. Aramel, Charlotte, and I found a table near the front, our eyes constantly drawn to the central stage where Sera and Emily presided.

Once everyone was seated, Sera raised her hand, and a hush fell over the hall. Her presence commanded instant attention, the room’s atmosphere shifting to one of reverent anticipation.

“Guardians,” Sera began, her voice resonant and clear, “Today, we honor your tireless efforts and unwavering dedication. Each of you has played a vital role in guiding souls to our heavenly home, and for that, we are eternally grateful.”

The crowd erupted into applause, the sound a joyous affirmation of her words. Sera waited for the noise to subside before continuing.

“In a world filled with challenges and trials, you have been beacons of hope and light. Your bravery, compassion, and perseverance have not only saved lives but also upheld the virtues we cherish. Tonight, we gather not just to celebrate your achievements, but to recognize the strength of your spirits and the purity of your hearts.”

Emily stepped forward, her smile radiant. “Let this banquet be a testament to the unity and love that bind us all. May you find joy in each other’s company, and may your hearts be filled with the peace that only Heaven can bestow.”

Sera raised her glass, the golden liquid within catching the light. “To the guardians of Heaven. May your wings always carry you forward, and may your souls forever shine.”

“To the guardians!” the crowd echoed, raising their glasses high.

Sera smiled, her eyes twinkling with a hint of something special. “And now, esteemed guardians, it is my great honor to introduce a special guest speaker. Someone who has guided many of you with wisdom and strength—Archangel Michael.”

The room buzzed with excitement as Michael stepped forward. Towering above the crowd, he was the epitome of divine strength and grace. His long blonde hair cascaded down his broad shoulders, catching the light and creating a halo effect around his head. His piercing blue eyes scanned the room with a commanding presence, and his chiseled features exuded an aura of both power and kindness. Clad in armor that gleamed like molten gold, he was every inch the warrior angel I had always admired, perhaps a little too deeply.

My heart pounded in my chest as I watched him, every inch of him radiating an unearthly beauty and strength. I had trained under him, learned from him, and somewhere along the way, developed feelings that I had never dared to express.

Michael raised his hand, and the hall fell into a respectful silence. “Guardians, tonight we celebrate your incredible achievements. You have faced unimaginable challenges on Earth, and yet, you have risen above them, guiding souls with unwavering faith and courage.”

He paused, his gaze settling briefly on me, and my breath hitched. “As your mentor, I have had the honor of witnessing your growth and dedication firsthand. Each of you has shown remarkable strength and compassion, embodying the very essence of what it means to be a guardian angel.”

The crowd listened intently, hanging on his every word. “Your hard work and perseverance have not only saved souls but have also strengthened the bond between Heaven and Earth. It is this bond that makes our mission possible, and it is your unyielding spirit that upholds it.”

Michael’s smile broadened, his eyes shining with pride. “As a token of my appreciation, I have crafted a special gift for each of my mentees. A weapon that symbolizes your courage and dedication. These weapons have been delivered to your residences, each one unique and tailored to your strengths. May they serve you well in your future endeavors.”

The room erupted into applause. I felt a mixture of awe and humility wash over me. Michael’s words were a powerful reminder of why we did what we did, and his gift was a tangible symbol of his faith in us.

He raised his glass, a final toast. “To the guardians, may your light continue to shine brightly in the darkest of places.”

“To the guardians!” We echoed once more, our voices filled with renewed determination and pride.

The celestial music began to play and the feast commenced. I couldn't help but steal glances at Michael, my heart swelling with a mix of admiration and longing. He was everything I aspired to be—strong, wise, and infinitely kind. And though my feelings for him might remain unspoken, I took comfort in knowing that I was among those he trusted and valued.

As I turned back to my friends, Aramel and Charlotte were already making faces at each other.

“Can you believe Uriel didn’t even show up?” Aramel grumbled, crossing his arms. “It’s like he doesn’t even care about us.”

Aramel and Charlotte were under Uriel’s mentorship.

Charlotte nodded, rolling her eyes. “Typical Uriel. Always off somewhere, doing who knows what. Probably lost in a cloud or something. We get all these epic tales, but when it’s party time, poof! He’s a no-show.”

“You two are just unlucky,” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Aramel leaned in closer, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Unlike you, Miss Fortunate. Not only did Michael show up, but he also made a special speech and gave you all weapons! You hit the mentor jackpot!”

Charlotte smirked, nudging me with her elbow. “And don’t think we didn’t notice how flustered you got when he looked at you. Your wings were practically glowing.”

I felt my cheeks flush and tried to wave them off. “Oh, come on. He’s just... inspiring, that’s all.”

“Uh-huh, sure,” Aramel said, raising an eyebrow. “Inspiring in a tall, handsome, heroic kind of way, right? I mean, those chiseled features could probably cut through clouds.”

I place both hands on my reddening cheeks. “Oh stop it, Aramel!” I mentally picture the description. 

I sighed, unable to keep a smile off my face. “Okay, fine. Maybe I admire him a bit more than just professionally. But it’s not like it matters. He probably doesn’t even see me that way.”

Charlotte’s eyes sparkled with mischief. “Oh, please. Did you see the way he looked at you? If looks could launch a thousand ships, you’d be Helen of Troy.”

“Don’t feed into my delusion,” I hopelessly said

Aramel shakes his head in disagreement. “Hey, even if he doesn’t, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re an amazing guardian angel. He trusts and values you, and that’s something to be proud of. Plus, we all know you could outshine any archangel with your skills.”

I looked between my friends, grateful for their support. “Thanks, guys. You always know how to make me feel better.”

“Anytime,” Charlotte said with a grin. “Now, let’s enjoy this feast. We’ve earned it. And who knows, maybe Michael will come over and ask you for a dance.”

Aramel wiggled his eyebrows. “Or maybe he’ll just swoop you off your feet and fly you to the moon. Literally.”

I laughed, feeling a bit lighter. “Well, if he does, I hope he knows how to waltz.”

As we dug into the delicacies before us, the laughter and conversation flowed easily, making the celebration feel even more special. Despite the undercurrent of unspoken feelings and occasional pangs of longing, I knew I was surrounded by friends who had my back, and for now, that was enough.

Suddenly, the room dimmed slightly, and all eyes turned toward Emily as she stepped forward, her hands raised gracefully. With a knowing smile, she began to weave intricate patterns in the air, each movement creating trails of shimmering light. The room filled with gasps of awe as the lights morphed into a dazzling display of magic and fireworks.

Celestial flowers bloomed in mid-air, their petals made of pure starlight. Comets streaked across the ceiling, leaving glittering tails in their wake. The colors were beyond earthly comprehension, a blend of hues that seemed to sing to the soul. As Emily continued her enchanting performance, the hall transformed into a dreamscape of light and wonder.

Aramel and Charlotte watched in awe beside me, their faces illuminated by the brilliant display. “She always outdoes herself,” Aramel whispered, his eyes wide.

“Yeah, she’s like the Picasso of light shows,” Charlotte added, her gaze fixed on the spectacle above.

Around us, the other angels reacted in various ways. Some danced beneath the celestial canopy, their movements fluid and joyful. Others chatted animatedly, their voices rising and falling with the rhythm of the light show. Many continued to eat and drink, toasting to the beauty and magnificence surrounding them.

I glanced toward the center of the room, where Michael stood, his presence commanding yet approachable. He was surrounded by a group of angels, all eager to speak with him and bask in his radiance. My heart tugged with a mix of admiration and longing. I wanted to approach him, to share a moment, but he was already enveloped in a sea of admirers.

Aramel nudged me gently. “Thinking about making your move?”

I sighed, a small smile tugging at my lips. “I was, but it looks like he’s a bit busy.”

Charlotte gave me a sympathetic look. “He always draws a crowd. But hey, if anyone can get his attention, it’s you. Just wait for the right moment.”

I nodded, appreciating their encouragement. For now, I decided to simply enjoy the celebration. The light show continued, casting a magical glow over everything and everyone. The air was filled with a sense of unity and joy, a perfect reflection of Heaven’s eternal glory. 

Perfect. That word keeps lingering in my mind. Surrounded by the laughter and music, I couldn’t shake the feeling of being out of place. It was as if I was a puzzle piece that didn’t quite fit, a discordant note in the symphony of perfection.

Lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed when Michael approached me, his voice barely audible over the din of the crowd. It took me a few seconds to register his presence.

“Gabriela,” he said, his voice soft but insistent. “Can we speak privately in the gardens?”

I blinked, startled out of my reverie. “Oh, yes, of course.”

As we made our way to the garden outside the banquet hall, I could feel the curious stares of Aramel and Charlotte burning into my back. Their smirks and playful gestures were not lost on me, but I pushed aside their antics, focusing instead on the enigmatic archangel at my side.

Once we were alone in the tranquil garden, Michael turned to me, his expression grave yet gentle. “Gabriela, I couldn’t help but notice that something seems to be troubling you. Is everything alright?”

I hesitated, unsure of how to articulate the turmoil raging within me. “I... I suppose I’m just feeling a bit... overwhelmed. Everything here is so perfect, and yet...”

“And yet, you feel as if you don’t belong,” Michael finished, his eyes understanding. “I know the feeling all too well.”

I looked up at him, surprised by his admission. “You do?”

He nodded, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Even in Heaven, there are moments when we question our place in the grand design. But I believe that each of us has a purpose, a unique role to play in the divine tapestry. Perhaps you just haven’t discovered yours yet.”

His words resonated with me, offering a glimmer of solace amidst the uncertainty. “Thank you, Michael. That... that means a lot.”

He reached out, his hand warm and reassuring on my shoulder. “Anytime, Gabriela. You’re not alone in this journey.”

In a fleeting moment, the depth of Michael's gaze revealed a vulnerability that stirred something deep within me. It was as if he carried a secret, a hidden longing that yearned to be shared. For an instant, our eyes locked, and I felt a connection that transcended words—a silent exchange of unspoken truths and unexplored desires.

In that moment, it felt as though he wanted to confess something, to bridge the gap between us and lay bare the emotions that simmered beneath the surface. But like a fleeting dream, the vulnerability vanished as quickly as it had appeared, replaced by a mask of composure and professionalism.

“You’re one of the best guardian angels I’ve had the privilege to train,” he said, his voice gentle yet firm. “You take your work seriously, and it shows. I appreciate your dedication and your unwavering commitment.”

I nodded, grateful for his words of praise, but secretly disappointed. “Thank you, Michael.”

Michael turned his gaze to the duck pond in the garden, where the water shimmered under the soft light of the moon. Ducks glided gracefully across the pond's surface, creating gentle ripples that spread outward.

He smiled, though there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. “You remind me of someone I once knew, someone who was dear to me. I lost them a long time ago, and since then, I’ve made it my mission to protect all those under my guidance, to ensure they never fall into the same fate.”

I felt a pang of sympathy for him, sensing the weight of his unspoken sorrow. 

It wasn't a big secret in Heaven that Michael's twin brother, Lucifer, was once very close to him. Their bond was legendary until Lucifer was cast out of Heaven for causing the Great Betrayal, a moment that changed the course of history forever. However, I was created many years after Lucifer's exile and had only heard stories of those tumultuous times.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” I said softly. “And I admire your strength and your determination to prevent others from suffering the same fate.”

Michael nodded, his expression somber yet resolute. “Thank you, Gabriela. It’s a duty I take very seriously. And with guardians like you by my side, I know that together, we can make a difference.” 

We turned our attention back to the duck pond and stood together in peaceful silence, watching the ducks. 

As Michael watched the pond, I turned to admire his white skin, a signature look of the archangels, gleaming in the moonlight. The red circles on his cheeks, his signature eternal blush, stood out vividly against his pale complexion, adding a touch of warmth to his otherwise ethereal appearance. We continued to stand in silence, observing the family of ducks as they floated effortlessly on the water's surface.

I contemplated whether now was the moment to confess my feelings to Michael, to end my inner turmoil. Even if my feelings weren't reciprocated by him, sharing them might bring me some relief. The tranquil setting, the gentle sounds of the ducks, and the soft glow of the moon created an atmosphere of intimacy that seemed perfect for such a revelation

Just as I was about to confess, we are interrupted by a small sheep cherub. She fluttered eagerly towards us, her innocent face contorted with urgency as she delivered her message to Michael. 

"Michael! Oh, pardon the interruption, but there's an emergency meeting, and you're needed immediately!"

Michael excused himself politely. “Thank you, Keenie. Looks like the party's cut short for me, Gabriela, but that's the life of an archangel”  His expression was apologetic as he offered me a fleeting smile.

As he soared off to address the emergency, Keenie's innocent facade crumbled the instant Michael's back was turned, her gaze turning icy as it lingered on me. There was a jealousy simmering beneath her surface, palpable enough to send a shiver down my spine. With a pointed glare, she flew off after Michael, leaving me alone in the bustling garden, the weight of her unspoken animosity lingering in the air.

I brushed off Keenie’s hostility, and I decided to explore the garden, to clear my mind. The pathways were lined with blooming flowers, their sweet fragrance mingling with the crisp night air. Twinkling fairy lights hung from the trees, casting a soft, magical glow on everything around me. I wandered deeper into the garden until I reached the edge, where the garden's boundaries met the vast expanse of Heaven's city.

Peering over the edge, I was greeted with a breathtaking sight. The entire city was alive with celebration. Fireworks burst in brilliant colors across the night sky, their dazzling displays reflected in the rivers of golden light that flowed through the streets below. Winners and heavenborn danced joyfully in the squares, their movements graceful and free, while music filled the air, a harmonious symphony that seemed to emanate from every corner of the city.

With a deep breath, I turned away from the edge and made my way back to the banquet. The music grew louder and the laughter more infectious as I approached. I quickly spotted Aramel and Charlotte engaged in animated conversation, their faces alight with mirth.

"Well, well, well, look who's back from her little rendezvous in the garden," Aramel teased, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

Charlotte joined in with a knowing smirk. "Oh, don't try to play innocent, Gabby. We saw the way Michael was looking at you."

I rolled my eyes, trying to suppress a blush. "Oh, please. It was nothing. Just a conversation."

Aramel leaned in closer, his voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper. "Just a conversation, huh? With Michael? Alone? In the moonlit garden?"

Charlotte nodded in agreement. "Sounds awfully romantic to me."

I couldn't help but laugh at their playful teasing. "Trust me, it was anything but romantic. We were interrupted by a cherub."

Their eyebrows shot up in surprise. "A cherub?" Aramel exclaimed.

Charlotte chimed in, her tone incredulous. "What was the cherub doing interrupting your moment with Michael?"

I shrugged, still bemused by the unexpected turn of events. "Looked like Michael was needed elsewhere urgently. But whatever it was, the cherub definitely killed the mood."

Charlotte chimed in with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Well, if the party's over here, why don't we continue the celebration at my place? I've got some delicious red wine waiting to be uncorked."

Aramel grinned, his excitement evident. "Sounds like a plan to me. Nothing like a little impromptu gathering to keep the festivities going."

I nodded eagerly, the prospect of continuing the night's revelry with my friends too tempting to resist. "Count me in. Lead the way, Charlotte."

With laughter and excitement, we made our way out of the bustling banquet hall, eager to extend the night's festivities in the comfort of Charlotte's home.

*********************************************************

Hours later, the three of us found ourselves sprawled out on a fluffy cloud in Charlotte's celestial residence, empty wine bottles scattered haphazardly around us. The room was filled with the soft glow of moonlight, casting a serene aura over our intoxicated forms.

Charlotte hoisted her half-empty wine glass in a tipsy salute. Her robe was stained with wine. "To impromptu parties and nights that'll make the cherubs jealous!" 

Aramel chortled, clinking his glass against hers with a slosh. His face was red and happy. "A-men tuo tha-t! *hiccup* Let's shope our librers can forgib ush in the mornin'”

I joined in with a hiccup, the euphoria of the evening making me feel like I was floating on, well, a cloud. "And here's to never forgetting the night we got so drunk, we mistook stars for pillowcases!"

As we drifted off into a drunken slumber, the echoes of our laughter mingled with the gentle rustle of celestial winds, a testament to the enduring bond of friendship that had brought us together on this unforgettable Parade night.

*********************************************************

Thank you for reading the first chapter! The other chapters are also available on AO3 !

Next chapter: The Extermination

[stickycreatorunknown]

Drabbles - Deku as a Dad (bc it has been stuck in my head gd)

So he's definitely the kind of parent who holds his kid in one arm while he does literally anything else with the other. Maybe he's picking up the toys scattered around the floor, or digging in the couch for the TV remote, or making dinner, or brushing his teeth, literally anything. He just loves his kid so much and can't ever say no to them especially when they want cuddles so he just compromises by carrying them around with him constantly.

The bigger they get the more creative he gets, maybe they're like two and he just holds them under his arm like a football so they giggle really loud while he walks around the kitchen. Maybe they're like five and he sets them on his shoulders and they use his hair like little reins to guide him around the house while he does some chores. Maybe they're like eight and getting bigger so he throws them over his shoulder and they beat on his back and giggle and holler at him until he puts them down.

He's definitely really close with his kid, empathizing and always being a shoulder. He would also pound someone into the ground for them but he tries to teach pacifism first. He can relate to all their struggles and sees so much of himself in them because they're probably a lil sensitive bean just like he is and he's super quick to wipe their tears and help them feel better and make everything into a learning experience so they keep getting stronger and smarter.

Oh he's also still a lil bit of a crybaby and every single milestone makes him burst into tears, though he is trying to be a bit less emotional so he doesn't worry the kid or his partner (you, duh). But he definitely needs lots of emotional support because like the first time his kid said "dada" he started crying all over the place and you had to comfort him, kissing his forehead and brushing through his hair with your fingers while he babbled about how smart the kid is and how proud he is even though they're still a baby. And oh my god the first time they walked? Oh boy, this man literally picked you up to bring you into the room to see the moment with him and the sheer joy on his face and the little tears welling up in his eyes as he tried to find his phone or the camera.

The kid adores you both, obviously, and every time you tuck them in for bed they say "I love you" and even though it's literally every night Izuku still gets a little watery eyed about it. He'll lay in bed with you and just hold you really tight and go on and on about how you guys are such great parents and he loves that little bean so much and it makes him feel like his heart could explode.

ugh... this has been on my mind for days and I can't even tell if I'm just baby crazy or deku crazy at this point

[denimbex1986]

'In another life, Andrew Haigh could've been a shrink.

“There’s an argument that films should be full of queer joy, which I think can be really powerful,” the British director says over coffee. “But you have to look at everything else, too. You’re not going to feel better unless you deal with it all.”

Enter “All of Us Strangers” (in select theaters now, nationwide Friday), a heart-shattering gay drama that tenderly confronts grief, pain, loneliness and resentment. Based on Taichi Yamada's 1987 novel "Strangers," the film follows a middle-aged screenwriter named Adam (Andrew Scott) who’s struggling to write about his late mom (Claire Foy) and dad (Jamie Bell). They were killed in a car accident when he was 12, before he ever had a chance to come out to them. Seeking creative inspiration, Adam ventures back to his childhood home, where he mysteriously finds his parents alive and well.

Haigh was intrigued by the notion of a character who’s lived comfortably in his sexuality for years, being forced to, in essence, come out as gay again.

“All that fear you feel as a queer person, even if you've come out, is still locked away inside you,” Haigh, 50, says. “It really does not take much to be like, ‘Oh my God, I literally feel like I always used to.’“

As queer people can understand, “you’re constantly coming out all the time,” he continues. Is it safe to kiss your partner or hold hands in certain spaces? Should you deepen your voice at work or on the phone? “It’s a very strange experience and you can’t escape it. It was a different time when I came out, but I think young people feel the same way. I don’t think it’s suddenly all great and fantastic now.”

Andrew Scott talks compassion of 'All of Us Strangers'

The movie is frequently dreamlike and disorienting, with shots of Adam staring at his own reflection, which at times morphs and overlaps with those of other people.

I’ve always been fascinated with reflections, and I wonder if it’s a queer thing,” Haigh says. “Your reflection is something different from your inner self; you’re constantly putting on a mask for the world.”

But Adam’s guard comes down as the film goes on, as he falls into bed with a roguish neighbor named Harry (Paul Mescal) and confesses to his parents the ways they hurt him growing up. In one of the most gut-wrenching scenes, Adam opens up about being bullied at school. He bursts into tears when his dad apologizes to him, saying, “I’m sorry I never came into your room when I heard you crying.”

“There’s so much that’s tragic about that: a connection that can happen in that moment that often doesn’t,” Haigh says. “For queer people, that scene really lands because we grew up feeling very isolated and terrified. You just wanted your parents to be like, ‘It’s OK, it’s fine, I love you.’”

For many gay moviegoers, there’s an element of wish fulfillment to the film, as Adam has the sort of honest conversations that they all wish they could have with their parents.

"It's hard, isn't it?" says Scott, who is also gay. "Those small cruelties can't be erased. You just get up and dust yourself off and move on. I think there's something so compassionate in the film that gives people that thing of, 'Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful ...' Even if it's not members of our family that we wish could apologize to us." As a filmmaker, "Andrew is saying, 'I understand that and I'm on your side.' "

As Adam's romantic relationship intensifies, he asks his mom to acknowledge Harry as his boyfriend and not just his "special friend." For those of us whose parents have tried to look past or deny our queerness, those microaggressions can feel like daggers.

“I don’t think anyone realizes how upsetting it is to go through that,” Haigh says. “You’re like, why is my relationship not valued the same as other people’s? But regardless of your sexuality, there are so many things unsaid with your parents. As you get to my age, you are going to lose your parents, so everybody is trying to deal with these very difficult things of, have I said how much I care about my family? And if you could actually have those conversations, what do you say?"

Paul Mescal, director Andrew Haigh on the movie's 'catharsis'

For audiences going to see “All of Us Strangers” in theaters, Mescal encourages them to not get hung up on its unorthodox narrative structure: “It’s not about looking for what’s real and what isn’t,” the actor says. “It’s about the feeling that you’re left with,” capturing “love and how complicated it is.”

Haigh appreciates the ways viewers bring their own experiences with loss, heartache and depression to the story.

“It’s a way for us all to feel like we’ve done our best,” he says, calling the movie a “love letter” to his parents. “My mum has seen it, which was both interesting and complicated for her. She’s seeing a film that is about me and her, in many respects. She was very upset, obviously, but she loved it.”

The film could take both him and Scott to the Oscars, with possible nominations for best adapted screenplay and best actor, respectively. Regardless of where it lands, Haigh is grateful for the “catharsis” it gave him.

“It wasn’t always an easy one,” Haigh says. “I filmed in my actual childhood home, which was a very bizarre experience. There’s a lot of strange elements to it where I forced myself to make it really personal. But I do feel like I understand myself and my parents a little better, which makes me happy.”'

[henryrodhamkissinger]

I rarely remember to listen to them anymore…Ponytail was the soundtrack to my life. Every punky/artistically inclined kid in Baltimore in the late aughts knew, Ponytail’s playing, it is going to be a religious experience. It was for all of us. Dan too, of course—Dan Deacon shows before he was enormously famous were participatory, everyone in a big circle. Those were early days of Future Islands too, with their rough hewn bursts of pathos and heart. It was church, Wham City stuff in that era, Whartscape was a hajj. 2008 Whartscape was my entree into this city as a whole, and, I was 17, grew up rural didn’t have much experience with live music — I didn’t know what it was going to be, but what it was was pure ecstasy, pure joy and community and sweat and love. In a big parking lot. Ponytail, for us, was the true revelation. Five foot tall little femme person yelping and bouncing around with this triumphant, insanely energetic, bright, candied music, with Dustin Wong’s extraordinary unsurpassed guitar. There just was something utterly distinctly Baltimore to the scene. One day in the not too distant future, I think, I will go and live elsewhere, but it’s too easy to forget that Baltimore still has such a verdant and enthusiastic scene of weirdos making what they love with expressive abandon.

And that as much in hip hop as in rock today. Baltimore’s not known as a big hip hop city, we are not “on the map.” Well, we have our trap legends and our classic ‘gangsta’ stuff (embarrassing phrase to use but idk what else to call the subgenre.) But there’s a fertile and ever-blossoming cast of amazing artists in the hip-hop and r + b scene and it is something of a new and very cool development that a lot of the hard line between the indie rock/punk world (predominantly white ofc) and the world of contemporary Black music in Baltimore (a largely Black city, ofc) is chipping away. Besides the obvious JPEGMAFIA, I’ll name a few favorite inventive and unique and great folks in that scene in no order: Infinity Knives, 3SIDEGOOF, Jaywan, Brian Ennals, Kotic Couture, 3LON, Fonlon, Vlaad, Alienood, Zen Xaria, DZI…some of whom I’m glad to call minor homies. All of whom you should check out if you like good music. As in the wham city scene and the post-wham city scene of incredible indie and experimental rock/pop, Baltimore hip-hop is exploratory, unafraid to be weird as hell. It’s a brutal city, it can be painful to live in, and the artists here (not just in music ofc) are committed to creativity in its sharpest form, both deeply personal and expressive + socially and community grounded. Situationist International in the 60s had that saying, “Sous les pavés, la plage!” If the half-decimated, ghettoized city with its wrenching imposed poverty and attendant criminal economy is les paves (the cobblestones), underneath (sous), in the arts scene, is “the beach” (la plage). That analogy makes sense in my head but it’s okay if it doesn’t in yours, it is almost certainly my fault, haha.

Love this city. I don’t go out the frequency I used to — I’m changing that piecemeal — but Baltimore is always with me regardless where I’m at.

(For a beautiful, impassioned and harrowing analysis of Baltimore, check out David Harvey, the Marxist political theorist who spent his career here at Hopkins, in “Spaces of Hope.”)

[sinigangsta-ao3]

countdown to the end: 9 days left!

or: AOT FIC WRITERS — LET'S CELEBRATE THE ENDING OF "ATTACK ON TITAN" WITH OUR FAVORITE PASSAGES WE'VE WRITTEN!

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If you’re an AOT fic writer and you see this, please join! And let’s celebrate the end of a magical series by celebrating the richness and creativity of this fandom 💕

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Yesterday, I celebrated one of my favorite lines from “junctures,” and today I’m sharing one of my favorite scenes from its sequel, “bearings.” It was my first long fic, and it was really rooted in themes of adulthood and healing and accepting who we are, instead of yearning for who we could have been. It’s an angsty (and smutty) beast, but this was a scene that I wrote to illustrate Eren’s healing journey and his road to happiness.

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Day 9 - EMA and unbridled joy

He also internally thanks Armin, who has the foresight to start playing music to cut through the silence. But, of all things, Armin plays music from a decade ago: pop hits, beach tunes, and alt-rock ballads that transport Eren back to a late-spring night in their late adolescence, one marked by wine coolers and marijuana clouds and painted red lips and phantom sensations of skin-on-skin contact within this very house.

Eren feels a tug on his heartstrings. However, after a few moments of cycling through high school memories, he’s surprised to find that the tug isn’t painful. Instead, it’s reminiscent of popping his knuckles, or stretching out a cramp, or dislodging a piece of food stubbornly stuck between his molars. It’s a brief and satisfying discomfort, one that quickly paves the way to a more sustained type of calm.

For whatever reason, Eren finds himself starting to bob his head to the music as he paints the walls. Then, after catching both Armin’s and Mikasa’s eyes, he starts (of all things) dancing.

Armin looks at Eren like he has lost his mind — which Eren can’t help but laugh at because, for the first time in a long time, he feels completely sane. So sane that he drops his paint roller into the tray, gathers Armin in his arms, and starts spinning his best friend around the room — to Armin’s chagrin and to Mikasa’s delight. Armin turns bright red and yells loudly in protest as Eren tries to dip him ballroom-style; he manages to extricate himself from Eren’s arms before Eren accidentally drops him.

Mikasa is nearly doubled up in laughter, her eyes squeezed shut with mirth and paint splatters dotting her bright cheeks and bare arms. And Eren is so elated at the joy that has permeated their shared space that he extends his hand out to her and quirks his eyebrow in a silent invitation. (His heart is also racing a mile a minute – but he’s chasing levity right now, and he wants Mikasa to join him on this high.)

Mikasa’s eyes widen slightly, but (to Eren’s relief and absolute delight) she bends her knee and extends her paint-splattered arm into an overly exaggerated curtsy. And she grabs his hand to join him in a dance.

Their laughter harmonizes with the fast-paced, early-2010s pop tune blaring from the speaker. And Eren’s vision is nearly obscured because he's smiling so widely that his cheeks push his eyes into crescent moons (a smile that he honestly thinks he hasn’t worn since his high school years).

Eren can see Armin in the corner of his eye — he hasn't stopped painting, and he's shaking his head and smiling at his two friends goofily dancing. But Eren honestly doesn’t care that Armin is teasing them: because Mikasa is smiling, and her tinkling laugh bounces off the walls, and she’s grasping his hand so tightly and leaning into his torso while he firmly grips her waist. And Eren’s heart nearly bursts when, in a trust exercise of sorts, Mikasa lets him dip her while they dance, throwing her head back in laughter and kicking one leg high into the air.

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title: bearings (8 chapters, completed, 2nd part of 2-part series)

pairings: eremika (and some background aruani, yumihisu, zelena, past jeankasa, past coltkasa)

tags: modern AU, unreliable narrator, mental health issues, implied substance abuse, friends with benefits, miscommunication, smut, healing, happy ending

summary:

He left home to pursue something great, only to discover that his new life has not panned out how he intended. Ten years later, he’s presented with an opportunity to return home — and to revisit relationships that he had destroyed in his quest for freedom.

--

OR: a young man’s journey to reconcile past trauma and discover a way to heal and move forward.

[sunny-sideup-4]

My review on Good Omens Season Two (also posted to Amazon Prime Video Reviews)

This season, this show in general, is beautifully written, directed, and executed. I can't perfectly describe how the story and characters just grab ahold of your attention instantaneously and keep you drawn in the entire time. There is never a dull moment. You become fully invested in the storyline and form a connection with the characters in a way that I, personally, haven't felt in YEARS. Despite the fictional nature of this story, the characters truly feel real and deal with very real internal and interpersonal conflict. This season was a reminder that we don't magically get fairytale endings-- we work for them. We make them ourselves through hard work and dedication. Through growth, change, and communication. I eagerly await the next season.

Now here's the special bit only for Tumblr: I have rewatched this show several times from beginning to end. I have watched it in it's entirety with my girlfriend and begun watching it with friends as well, with the intention of them becoming inspired in the same way I have. This season singlehandedly reignited a spark I had lost in 2020. In 2019, I was diagnosed with several chronic illnesses and began treatments for them in 2020, one week before the pandemic shut down the world. Learning I would forever live in a vessel that would always be sick... was soul crushing. Though things were starting to look up for my health through treatments that helped me manage my symptoms, I had lost the creative fire that roared at the very center of my being. It would come back in short little bursts of easily put out embers. I would write or draw or paint for a few days and then stop for months at a time, only to fall back into the never ending routine of going to work then coming home to lay on the couch in a deep depression that felt inescapable. I found other ways to be creative that were fulfilling- like crochet. I've deeply enjoyed the feel of yarn and hook moving in tandem to create a beautiful piece of fiber art to gift to others or keep for myself. I've enjoyed the peace it gives my over-active brain. There is no room for wild, unruly thoughts when my hands are constantly moving.

However, it never felt the same as it did when I was creating entire worlds in my head to escape into. It never brought the same sense of joy. It was fulfilling but not in the same way that set my soul ablaze. Good Omens Season two has opened a new chapter for me. It unlocked the prison cell that my creativity had been locked away in to rot. I am writing again. I am bringing ideas and stories to life. Plotting the the downfall and glorious uprising of characters once more. I feel alive again. I feel whole again. While I may keep my stories between myself and my close-knit chosen family, I finally have new stories to tell again. Thank you Neil Gaiman, @neil-gaiman. Thank you Michael Sheen and David Tennant. Thank you to the other actors and the crew that worked on this show and brought this story to the screens of the world. Thank you to Terry Pratchett, may he rest in peace, for his part in creating this story with Neil Gaiman. Thank you for telling a story that reaching into my chest and started my heart again. Thank you for telling a story that I could relate to. One that reflects parts of myself that few others can see. I don't think I will ever be able to say enough thank you's to convey how grateful I truly am.

To anyone who shares a story similar to mine- I see you. Keep fighting, keep growing, keep changing. Keep searching for hope in every crack and crevice of the world until you can even just the tiniest of slivers and let that help you to keep going until you can find yourself again. Until you can find your spark once more. I promise you that it's out there somewhere. Sometimes you will find in in unexpected places... like I found mine again, in Good Omens. Don't give up. Please. Please keep searching. Don't leave any stone unturned.