#he had time to read and also found other survivors. that's my canon now

[squalodinoappreciationsquad]

Ok, I felt a little bit called into the cause earlier on when I as lurking and reading @khr-guilded-cage posts.

And now I am wearing my clown wig and honk my kazoo and I am outlining the Canon Divergent AU where Dino, in spite of all, decides that he wants to support Xanxus during the Cradle Affair, screw everything.

Buckle up!

So.

Squalo has already killed Tyr, gained the title of Swords Emperor and as a bonus he is enrolled into the Varia.

This means that Dino and Squalo already argued bitterly, they are both mourning the loss of their situationship and they are just doing their thing.

Then ofc Xanxus explodes - we know why, I am not repeating this part.

Dino is on the fence.

His family is technically allied to the Vongola and by reason he should be supporting the Vongola against the Varia.

And yet.

Dino has never really gotten over his dad's death and he is kindof resenting Reborn for forcing him into a world he was desperately trying to run away from.

Dino knows perfectly that now if he doesn't support the Vongola, the Cavallone family is doomed.

And yet.

He knows Xanxus' situation well enough to think that it has never been a fair thing, he thinks that the only friend he has ever had is right there in the middle of everything.

Dino looks at Romario and Romario only says "we will follow our boss to hell and back".

And Dino decides that he is tired of the abuse, he is tired of being manhandled by Reborn, he is tired of being forced into situations and he is tired of not having any choice ever.

He shows up in the midst of the battle, the Vongola are already singing their victory, whilst the Varia look at him as if they want to kill him.

And Dino marches with his 5000 men into battle, right next to Xanxus and against the Vongola.

Now, I have two possible outcomes, you choose whichever you like best.

THE VARIA WIN

Well, the battle ends hen Xanxus kills Timoteo and incapacitates forever Iemitsu, whilst Reborn is nowhere to be found, being chased by some hellions. Dino literally left behind the chocolate and the sweetness he had to be able to just be the Bucking Bronco.

For him it is only half a victory, Reborn did manage to make him a ruthless mafia leader. He does have the Varia's gratitude and that means that now the Vongola are now under Xanxus.

Dino's debts are immediately erased, he gains enough influence and power, power that he immediately uses to elect a new Cavallone Decimo. Dino retires and only the Varia and Romario know where he lives and what he does

He has finally some choice, he decides to live as normally and as anonymously as possible, even though the blood on his hands definitely leaves his ugly mark.

At least he has rekindled his situationship with Squalo and Xanxus is civil with him.

This may mean no Tsuna in the picture.

THE VARIA LOSE

Well, the battle was fought valiantly on both sides, but the Vongola outnumbered the Varia and Cavallone.

Xanxus is put in the freezer, things go as per canon, but with a difference.

18 yrs old Squalo takes the command of the Varia ad interim and with the help of Marmon disguises all of the Cavallone survivors as Varia soldiers - he will have a lot of work between reforging documents, trying to make everything look good enough so that both Timoteo and Iemitsu think that everything is back under their control

Dino is also in the freezer - there is no fucking way they are letting go another Sky. Cue Squalo swearing another oath to free Dino as well, other than Xanxus.

Romario is in the Varia too, albeit disguised.

For the time being the Varia are behaving like role model citizens, but the plans are in the works.

And ofc Tsuna is in the picture.

Plans are being actioned - Tsuna has to see the Vongola's ruthlessness with his own eyes and once again Romario ill be a key.

Thoughts? Comments? Prayers?

[mamuzzy]

MAMUZZY READS HARD CONTACT: CHAPTER 1.3

I took my sweet time to continue but here we are, the last segment of Chapter 1 where meet the another two members of the future Omega Squad, Niner and Fi!

Links to the previous posts

Prologue <- If you want to follow me through you can start here ^^

Chapter 1.1 Post-Geonosis Darman

Chapter 1.2 Etain Tur-Mukan

My other Repcomm Blurbs

What you will find here

- Brief mention of the similiarities between the Omega Squad, Nulls and Bad Batch

- First introduction of Niner and Fi

- Niner and Fi's survivor's guilt

Now with reaction gifs.

People are saying that the Bad Batch are based on Delta Squad, which can be true, given they are both Commando Squads, have specializations and there are a lot of similarities between Crosshair and Sev, but after reading the books, I can say, The Bad Batch was more likely got inspiration from Omega Squad + Null ARCs. The Batch are deviant compared to other clones, they don’t respect authority unless they like the person, they have special abilities (Nulls shared all, the Batch had these abilities divided between them), and most importantly: THE BLACK ARMOR.

Omega Squad is horribly underrated, and if you never read the books there is a chance that you will miss these wonderful boys in black, the actual guys who inspired the Bad Batch’s black armor. (mind that in the first book it's still white, and they will get the black one in Triple Zero.)

I forgot to mention in the Darman post that with the TCW, ARC Trooper lore was completely rewritten in the show, and the Clone Commandos were completely erased from canon UNTIL the reintroduction of Delta Squad as a small cameo in the Witches of the Mist episode. TCW then came up with their on original clone commando squad, the Foxtrot, tied to the 212th, and with it, we have our beloved Gregor too and the Bad Batch is also a Commando squad. Commandos remaining with the empire in The Bad Batch is also inspired by the entire Imperial Commando: 501st book which has never had continuation due to lore incompatibilities with the at-that-time airing TCW.

Okay~ LET’S GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

We start with Niner - RC-1309 - and I will point out every occasions throughout this re-reading where he is cleaning his equipment, because when they are not on mission or in cryostasis, he usually cleans his gear. My poor anxious baby.

After the disastrous loss in the Commando ranks, reorganizing was needed, and lot of pods were merged to together to fill out the empty spaces - replace their dead comrades. Omega Squad are like this. While Niner, Fi and Darman were all trained under Kal Skirata, they were all in different pods, and because these four-people groups were so tight-knit, they didn’t form close connections to others.

So let’s just say, Niner and Fi’s first meeting wasn’t too friendly. They are both grieving, and they have to deal with the fact that their dead brothers are replaced with someone else, someone stranger.

You may know Fi as a jokester of the group but this entry scene weren’t funny at all. It was heartbreaking. Niner didn't accept the courtesy gesture of handshake.

BACK TO CLEANING.

Fi accomodates himself and Niner is constantly reminded that his podmates aren't here and never will be.

Niner had a podbrother, named Sev who is not the same as Delta Squad Sev. Choosing numbers as names are very common among the clones so there is a chance that you would meet with others with your own name.

Also I find this lore about the socialization of the CT-s compared to RC-s.

Meaning even if a CT lost someone important, comfort can be found in other familiar faces around him. When an RC lose his entire squad, he remains alone and completely alone. We saw how Darman was lost in the sea of strangers.

Niner lost a brother before, so loss for him is not something unfamiliar.

Commando cadets died during training.

Also I really loved this conversation between Niner and Fi.

Niner casually talking about how they weren’t used as they were intended. The total miscommunication between them, because Niner doesn’t want to say it out loud that he miss his squad and he blames the whole battle for losing his brothers. Niner is in pain, and want to talk about it, he just… can’t.

Also the revival Fi mentions is getting out of the cryostasis.

More about Niner’s cleaning “ritual”.

Another clashing between Fi and Niner.

They are so awkward with each other, I love them.

What finally broke the ice between them is when Fi started to sing the Dha Werda Verda. This song is from the OST of Republic Commando game and was played during Kachirho Bridge on Kashyyyk. The song along with the Vode An is mentioned and sang a lot throughout the books. ^^

A song they both now. The values they both know very well. A commond ground when nothing else works, when words fail, when you feel alone. Maybe they are not so different after all.

While singing, Niner’s survival guilt is manifesting.

Fi once again helds out a metaphorical hand to Niner. And Niner accept it.

And this concludes the whole Chapter 1.

I'm trying to make these blurbs shorter, and maybe doing the lore-detours in separate posts to not make it overwhelming.

[maniacwatchestheworld]

A Basic Guide to Harvey "Two-Face" Dent for Misha stans

With love, from a Two-Face fan who hasn't watched Supernatural and doesn't really intend on watching Gotham Knights.

Now before getting into this, you need to keep in mind that Harvey Dent (at the time of his creation, Harvey Kent) was a character first introduced to comics in 1942, and even within Batman canon, he is one of the most wildly inconsistently written characters. If you pick up any two stories that feature Two-Face in them at random, you are very likely to get two entirely different characters. As such, there are dozens of entirely valid ways of interpreting and writing his character, so what I write here is either based off of general consensus or my own personal opinion on the character.

If you are already a Two-Face fan who is reading this, I'm not trying to diminish your preferred way of interpreting the character and would be perfectly happy with discussing our differences in opinion in a separate post, but here I'm just trying to make a somewhat digestible guide to his character for newbies based off of my own perception of him and what I've heard about his character from Gotham Knights and what might appeal to his fans. If you disagree, you're welcome to write a similar post about him yourself.

Overview

Harvey Dent is Gotham City's District Attorney. He's actually a legal genius and savant. (He is also just generally DAMN smart when written well!) He became District Attorney at a very young age (~26 years old, making him the youngest District Attorney that Gotham has ever had,) and is the best damn lawyer in all of Gotham! At his best, he was locking up criminals left and right no one could stop him, and this ended up ticking off Gotham's criminal underworld. As District Attorney, he would work alongside Batman and Commissioner Gordon to make his convictions stick, which is something other District Attorneys before him couldn't do. For this, the public loved him. This also makes Arkham Asylum and Blackgate Prison exceedingly dangerous places for him to be, as a good percentage of their residents are there because of him.

Harvey Dent is Bruce Wayne's best friend. Sometimes they are even childhood friends! At the latest, they became friends after Bruce had already become Batman, but usually they are long-time friends, sometimes meeting as kids, though also often meeting in college. (They both went to Gotham University.) I think there are some iterations where they're even college roommates! They tend to have been very close in college. Regardless of when they met, they found kindred spirits within one another as they each sought to bring justice to this city that they love in their own ways. Because of this kinship, the two got extremely close and were the best of friends before Harvey's incident.

Harvey Dent is an abuse survivor. When he was a kid, Harvey's father would beat him and his mother. But his father made a game of it. The details sometimes change a little, but in essence his father would flip a coin. If it landed heads, he would beat Harvey. If it landed tails, then he wouldn't have to be punished. The coin was heads on both sides.

Harvey Dent is neurodivergent. Most iterations of Two-Face have OCD and many (but not all) are plural, presumably with some form of Dissociative Identity Disorder. It is generally thought that his childhood abuse caused him to have these conditions. After leaving his father's control, Harvey was able to get a handle on his OCD tendencies and deeply suppressed his one other disassociated identity. However, if Harvey experiences high levels of stress or anger over a prolonged period of time, that could make these two conditions show themselves again. When the incident that melted half of his face off happened, these conditions came back to stay. He is indeed legally insane. But this is because of his OCD (specifically how he flips a coin to make all of his decisions), and NOT because of his plurality! Note: Plurality is more common that you probably think it is. It's estimated that 1-5% of people are plural. I've also spoken to at least 2 people who are plural or system members that dearly love Two-Face as a character. Two-Face is very unusual as a system (you are a lot more likely to find a system of 12 members than one of as few as 2), but I have no doubt that systems that work like him are out there. Because of all of this, I try my best to be sensitive and understanding towards plural people at all times while in this fandom space. I can not speak for them as I am not plural myself, but I am always trying to listen to plural voices and learn from them. I would ask that while you're in this space that you try to do the same. All of the plural people and system members that I've spoken to and know want to be thought of and addressed to as different people, and therefore I try to think of Harvey and Two-Face the same way that I would a real plural person, and see them as different characters. When I say "Harvey Dent" (full name) I'm usually talking about the general character and in-universe legal identity or the body. When I say "Two-Face" I usually mean their shared criminal identity or Harvey's "dark side" as this is the generally accepted way to refer to him by. For the sake of this post I will try to generally refer to "Harvey's dark side"/"Two-Face" (the character) as "Harvey's associate" or "the Associate" to more clearly differentiate him from Harvey. Harvey is Harvey.

Duality and the Number 2

Since Harvey and his Associate have OCD, they get compulsions and obsessions that they can't entirely control. In their case, they have a particular fixation on the concept of duality and the number 2.

They often theme their crimes around the number 2, be that having them take place on the 2nd or 22nd of the month and starting at 2:00 am, the locations having 2 in them like 2222 Doubleday Street or the Second National Bank, or conceptually relating the to number 2, like kidnapping twins, or stealing two-of-a-kind, matching artifacts. If the scheme can do two things at once, like receiving a payout AND killing Batman (killing two birds with one stone), that's even better!

They think in very dualistic ways and try to apply those themes to themselves. Harvey is good, the Associate is evil. Harvey is clean and calculated, the Associate is messy and unpredictable. Harvey is friendly and polite, the Associate is mean and rude. The Associate might also do things that he knows Harvey wouldn't for the sake of 'balance' or being Harvey's opposite. They might also try to apply this duality when it comes to their relations to other characters. Batman is good, they are evil. Batman represents order, they represent chaos. Whether these statements are actually true or not may not reflect the reality of their characters, but they want it to.

Expect lots of puns around the number 2 and for them to get agitated when other numbers that don't relate to the number 2 to get brought up.

The Coin

The origin of Two-Face's coin varies between iterations. The original story from 1942 had it as a piece of evidence. It was the good luck charm of a mob boss that Harvey was trying to put away and was a piece of evidence that placed said mob boss at the scene of a crime. This mob boss was the same one that tried to melt Harvey's face off. Harvey would keep the coin after the incident, for some reason. Later on, the coin was rewritten to previously belong to Harvey's father as I wrote about above. In this iteration of the coin's backstory, Harvey's father gave Harvey the coin and Harvey kept it as a good luck charm.

The coin is usually a silver dollar, minted in 1922 and has the heads side on both sides. However one of these heads has been defaced and is all scratched up, making the coin fair again. Clean heads is considered to be the 'heads' side and is often referred to as 'good heads.' The scratched side is considered to be the 'tails' side and is often referred to as 'bad heads.' Harvey and his Associate feel a kinship with this coin, Harvey being represented by the good heads, and the Associate being represented by the bad heads.

Often times their OCD leaves Harvey and his Associate unable to make decisions and so they have a compulsion to flip their special coin to make their decisions for them. This will sometimes be used as a tie-breaker between Harvey and his Associate- if they get good heads, they do what Harvey wants, if they get bad heads, they do what the Associate wants. Other times when it comes to more neutral decisions, good heads will represent yes and bad heads will represent no (Example: Do we talk to this person? Good heads, yes. Bad heads, that person can fuck off). However most famously, they flip the coin to choose the morality of their actions with good heads being they do the moral thing and bad heads meaning they do the immoral thing. They are known to flip their coin to decide whether or not to kill. Good heads, the person lives. Bad heads, the person dies.

Because of their compulsion to flip their coin to make decisions, they will often end up doing things that they don't actually want to because the coin told them to. This also does occasionally lead to Harvey and his Associate helping Batman out and actually doing the right thing.

About the cooler Harvey (aka "Harv", "Two-Face", "Big Bad Harv", "Harvey's Associate" or "Harvey's dark side")

In plural terms, the Associate usually starts off as a Protector- a system member that protects other members of a system from harm (external or internal), but has become a Persecutor- a system member who does harm to others, be that to the body, other system members, or people outside the system, often because they think this will somehow help the system.

It is very likely that the Associate also holds Harvey's anger and trauma, and may have experienced the brunt of the abuse they have been subjected to. Because of this, the Associate is known to lash out and hurt others.

Before Harvey becomes Two-Face, his Associate will sometimes come out to the front, but only a little. He may pop up when Harvey is under a lot of stress for a long period of time or when he gets exceedingly angry. He may also come out any time Harvey gets into any kind of physical altercation with someone.

Where Harvey usually keeps his temper under control and is not likely to fly off the handle, the Associate has MAJOR anger management issues! The Associate WILL fight you with his fists if you provoke him enough.

The Associate is NOT nice! He is mean and cruel and sadistic. He is usually more brutal and violent than Harvey. Where Harvey might want to do things nice and clean, the Associate isn't afraid of letting things get messy. When they kill, you can usually assume that the Associate was the one to pull the trigger.

The Associate HATES Harvey for suppressing him for so many years. The Associate tends to see Harvey as weak, ineffectual, and a coward, unable and unwilling to do what actually needs to get done. For this, the Associate does not like it when Harvey gets to front and will often do what he can to shove Harvey into the back. Because of this, Harvey may not be seen fronting for long periods at a time.

The Associate and Harvey are often seen to be co-conscious and may co-front.

In many iterations of these characters, Harvey has often tried to get rid of his Associate, but it never tends to stick.

The Associate often REVELS in their compulsions where Harvey is upset and disturbed by them.

While the Associate is often a viscous and cruel thug, that doesn't mean that he is entirely unsympathetic. The instances of him being genuinely sympathetic are rare, but they are out there! Therefore he should be thought of as more than just an 'evil alter ego.' Just like real life Persecutor system members, they shouldn't be considered to be purely malicious and evil, but should rather be a character who deserves understanding and help just like any other system member character would!

Harvey Dent's Love Life

Just so you know, BruHarvey/TwoBats (Bruce Wayne/Harvey Dent) is indeed the most popular ship that Harvey has. To you people who immediately started shipping the two, just know that you're not alone in feeling the gay vibes from them and that these two do indeed refuse to be straight about their relationship in a lot of the media that they share! Most Harvey fans that I know do indeed ship BruHarvey, and there is some good media out there that have a lot of BruHarvey vibes!

Harvey is often married or engaged at the start of his story. His wife is usually Gilda Gold who (when we know that she has a job) is a very skilled sculptor. She likes sculpting Harvey's face because he's beautiful, even sometimes calling him by the nickname "Apollo."

Gilda may or may not be the Holiday Killer- A serial killer who targets mobsters and kills them on holidays (Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentines Day, etc).

In the current mainline DC continuity, Gilda is dead. Harvey is a widower. In previous continuity they had gotten (understandably) divorced.

Other characters that Harvey has dated include Poison Ivy (who wanted to kill him) and Catwoman (who wanted to steal from him). Given that and how Gilda is sometimes the Holiday Killer, and you can comfortably say that Harvey has questionable taste in women.

Harvey falls in love HARD and FAST! As an example, in Batman: the Animated Series, he knew Ivy for a week before proposing to her. He does something similar with a different woman later in the series (a Gilda analogue, so that one partially works out).

Often Harvey wants to have kids. He seems pretty down with the idea of adopting.

Harvey Dent's relations to other characters that may appear

Dick Grayson (1st Robin): They hate each other. Early on in his career as Robin, Two-Face almost beat him to death. Dick has decidedly not forgiven him for this.

Jason Todd (2nd Robin): Not always the most friendly with each other, but have worked together in the pages of Task Force Z (which is a specialized Suicide Squad task force that consists of undead supervillains). In Task Force Z, there were kinda vibes that Harvey was the team dad who was just trying his best (but sucked at his job) while Jason was his angsty son with anger issues. Jason's biological father was killed by Two-Face (he worked for/owed money to Two-Face. He didn't pay back, so he was killed), but at this point Jason doesn't really seem to hold a grudge over it. Probably Two-Face's favorite Robin since he's the second Robin.

Tim Drake (3rd Robin): The story that introduced Tim Drake (A Lonely Place of Dying) was a Two-Face story, so in a way, you could say that Two-Face pushed Tim into taking on the role. (Otherwise I personally don't know much about their relationship.)

Commissioner Gordon: They used to be good friends back when Harvey was Gotham's District Attorney. They used to work together a lot, but now they seem to have 0 issues with the idea of killing Gordon.

Other notes:

He has almost no consistent visual design outside of 'male,' 'face is half messed up,' and 'split suits'. While he's usually supposed to have brown hair and green eyes (to make him look different from Bruce), this isn't always stuck to. Hell! There are a handful of iterations of Two-Face that are black!

Harvey Dent/Two-Face are decently influential characters within popular culture. You know the quote, "You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." ...? That quote comes from The Dark Knight (2008 film) and is said by Harvey before he becomes Two-Face and ends up being about him. Also the quote of "He isn't the hero we deserve, but he is the hero we need" relates to Harvey as well, though it's spoken about Batman. Also apparently this is a meme that exists and was apparently popular on Reddit, and I only just now learned of it soooo... Pop culture contributions yay?

Recovery is precedented for Harvey! In his original appearance in the 1940's, Harvey actually decided to turn away from his life of crime for the sake of the woman who became his wife and got his face fixed after she proved that she still loved him in spite of his disfiguration. Apparently in the 1980's newspaper strips, Harvey went on to recover there as well! And he even kept his scars that time! (You can actually read this story on Tumblr here!) However in most iterations, when Harvey 'gets better' he usually takes the turn for the worst at some point and sadly goes back to being Two-Face again. But for the most part, Harvey wants to recover and get better, but his Associate wants them to get worse.

A long post, I know. But I hope that you find this helpful or at least mildly interesting! If you have any other questions, feel free to ask! I'd be more than happy to try and answer to the best of my ability! If you made it this far, color me impressed! And if you are indeed a Misha stan who's new to this space, I'm happy to see you here! I hope you have a good day! Love you!

[themiimagebehindfire]

I just want to clear something up cause I saw confusion:

No. Jensen is NOT the one who gave Tom his scars. It was all part of the dream. Nothing in that dream sequence actually happened.

(Even though I do agree it’s weird how Aiden is there when this takes place before All Stars)

The whole point of this is to showcase Tom’s mental state at this point in his life. And dreams are very ludicrous in logic in anyone’s case. Just because the dream is ludicrous, doesn't mean it's irrelevant to understanding Tom as a character.

CANONICALLY, Tom is a torture survivor. He was kidnapped when he fumbled his spy mission and the captors proceeded to heavily torture him, giving him his scars. And it's heavily implied that his co-workers and boss shamed him for being tortured, as they weren't happy with how the mission went.

The show doesn't really NEED to show the actual backstory of Tom getting tortured, one cause I think that'd get OddNations demonetized, and two cause the aftermath of the incident is the more important detail.

It shows with almost all of his actions and insecurities and how he views himself. Honestly, it's a miracle he's not worse. He hid his face in a mask, he constantly viewed himself in the mirror in shame, he talks very lowly of himself, and he has a hard time not jumping to the instinct to put a wall up so he doesn't get hurt again.

You see where I'm going with this.

I admit, I too was very frustrated with him in the first half of All Stars. Mostly cause I was giving all my sympathy towards Jake like a bias bitch. (He is NOT innocent either) But then Episode 9 happened and we got the explanation, and after that, Tom took accountability and did what he could to make up for what he'd done. I at least appreciate that. (Do I think it could've been directed better? Absolutely. But at least the accountability is THERE. It could've very easily not been there at all.)

I DON'T want this to be read as 'Tom is now excused for all of his bad actions'. Because that's NOT what the episode, or the story, is saying.

Now, I am NOT a torture victim/survivor, so anyone who IS can clarify better if this is accurate portrayal of the psychological aftermath, better than me. So take my words with a grain of salt.

Tom DIDN'T avoid Jake because he hated Jake and held a grudge for what happened. (Which is what I thought at the start of All Stars before it was explained otherwise) He avoided Jake because he loved him, but hated himself so much that he couldn't see himself as good enough, both to be around him or to survive another potential future that could lead to torture. (The very thing that scarred his face, which ashamed him)

You want to love someone, you got to love yourself. Both of them hated themselves. So they couldn't love each other until they found good in themselves. Jake just had the more obvious arc cause unlike Tom, Jake is there the entirety of All Stars.

Trauma does not 'make you stronger'. It makes you a pain in the ass to deal with. That's because it causes a lot of psychological damage and anxiety.

And in Tom's case, it is GETTING HURT. Getting hurt in several ways both physically, but even more so, mentally. His life is surrounded by getting hurt. And getting hurt is something painful, so he doesn't want to be hurt if he can help it.

The show doesn't NEED to show the backstory of the torture, (That's for fanfic writers to do if they love making Tom suffer) because the aftermath of that backstory is what was important.

It's also the aftermath of All Stars that was important because despite how hurt they got, they still worked it out and that was what mattered in the end. Maybe not to every couple, but to them it's what mattered.

Can Tom be excused for what he's done? HELL NO. But sometimes you gotta understand the character's POV and what was established that they've been through before you can make bold claims.

I said this with my post about Jake and this applies to Tom too: Nobody is going to make the most rational choice every time. Nobody is going to make the correct choice every time.

You think a simple slap in the face is going to undo a ton of baggage and trauma and make a character act perfect immediately afterwards? No. That's crazy to think about.

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 1

• Gen Tags. Found family, Daddy issues, Hurt and comfort, Gore.

• Summary. Harley D. Dixon is a tough yet sweet little girl who until the dead started eating the living, thought she had seen it all. Alongside a mismatched group of survivors in rural Georgia, Harley and her Dad are forced to leave their small life behind and learn how to survive all over again through the horrors of the apocalypse.

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

❤️Cross-Posted from Ao3.

Author's Note. Here we gooo! Argh, I'm so excited.

I've been wanting to write something like this for a long, long time. I've read just about every 'Daryl has a daughter' story out there, and now I've finally got my own to share. I just love Daryl, and Daryl with a kid is a whole other thing. We all know he wouldn't be the perfect parent, so you bet I'm gonna play right into that. He's gonna swear, he's gonna be strict, and he's gonna mess up. As for Harley (Yes, as in the motorcycle brand), I love her too. So ready to write her.

This story will cover the general plot of the show. To keep things fresh, I've made sure that almost every canon scene has undergone at least one small change. Plus, of course, many new scenes. Occasionally, I'll make bigger changes just to keep you on your feet! Nobody's safe! I'm also gonna be expanding on all the characters. And lastly — FOUND FAMILY! Piles and piles and piles of found family, eventually. I live for found family.

Please enjoy reading! :)

My Uncle Merle died today.

I'm sitting in a crinkly green camping chair, watching embers die.

I don't wanna think about my Uncle right now, so I think about something else.

The fire was built last night by Glenn and Morales. Then Lori came along this morning very quietly and made it alive again with logs and wads of notebook paper. Thinking about facts is easy. It's like sucking on a plain candy that tastes like nothing. There's a navy-blue blanket across my lap with three holes in it, perfect for nibbling, poking, and ripping. Dale gave it to me when the cold settled in this afternoon. He told me he reckons it's around June, as he covered my shoulders, which used to be his niece's birthday.

He says she looked a little like me. That means she's dead. So many people are dead, now.

A thin log in the campfire cracks and tumbles over after trying to stay upright all morning. I hope I don't look like that log.

I can hear Officer Rick approaching. My stomach becomes a stone.

I can tell it's Rick because he's got one of them power walks that you can hear coming from a mile away, which I think makes him pretty stupid. He's loud, and loud is dangerous, and dangerous is stupid. My Dad's not like that. Unless he's angry or running, ain't nobody hearing my Dad coming; especially not no squirrels.

He's almost as big as my Grandpappy Dixon, who people used to say was as big as a house, and he wears super heavy boots from a hunting store near our house — but he's still not loud, or dangerous, or stupid. Not like Officer Rick.

"Hey, Harley."

I think I hate Officer Rick. I think I hate everyone.

And I think I might be crying now, too. I focus on twirling the blanket strings around my finger so I have something very simple to think about, which is that it hurts real bad when I twist it tight. I see Rick crouch down in front of me. He takes a while to say anything else, and it's prolly 'cause he's tryna be real careful, so he don't make me cry even more.

If my Dad weren't out hunting, he'd prolly slap Rick and everybody else that's tried badgering me today dead for tryna do his job for him. I feel like, just by sitting here, I'm disobeying him. Rick ain't my Daddy.

"We, uh..." He clears his throat. "Me and Lori, and some other folks are uh... Well, we're all a little worried about you, honey, okay?"

I imagine a small group of folks gathered by the RV right now, watching me and Rick; wondering if he's gonna be the one to get through to me.

I'm worried for when my Daddy comes back. When he finds out about Uncle Merle, he's gonna be fuming. He's gonna be like one of them cartoon characters with the bright red faces and the smoke comin' outta their ears, stomping all around, and he's prolly gonna kill somebody. It's prolly gonna be Rick. He always told me cops are bastard liars, and that they can't help us.

I look up at Rick. Yep, I've been crying.

Rick's all blurry, but I can still make out his ugly Sheriff's badge and his scary blue eyes and his frowning eyebrows that look like clenched fists, and I can tell he's been waiting to be the one to talk to me. I bet he thinks it makes him better than everyone else; better than my Uncle Merle, who he left to die just 'cause he ain't like him. I wanna kick Rick right in the face. I think he knows this, but he doesn't move.

"First off, I wanna say that I'm sorry about what happened to your Uncle Merle." Rick says all nice and gentle.

Nothin' happened to him.

It weren't no freak accident, which is what Uncle Merle used to say happened to my Momma.

Rick killed him.

"I know he meant a lot to you. And I'm sorry. If I had'a known he had a niece to come back to, maybe I woulda been a little wiser with my decision makin'. But Harley," He tilts his head and puts a hand on my knee for this part. "You gotta know, like I know, that your Uncle was a danger to us all."

There's a little angry parasite inside of me. It's been growing and growing ever since the group came back from Atlanta, and I couldn't find my Uncle Merle in the crowd. I've never noticed my Uncle Merle so much than when I realised he wasn't there. It was like there was the wrong amount of space left in the air and Rick was taking up the too much of it. Ever since the cars showed up, everything has been wrong, wrong, wrong.

Ever since Rick showed up.

"If I hadn't stepped in when and how I did," Rick says, "Your Uncle wouldda gotten us all in a lotta trouble."

Another log crumbles in the campfire. My finger aches and pulses around the string.

That hungry little parasite — hungry for Rick to hurt like I'm hurting, needing it more than anything — makes me tell him, "I wish he did." And again, because it feels good. Rick becomes even more blurry, as my voice makes an embarrassing hicking noise. "I wish you died."

I expect to be hit. That's what happens sometimes, when little girls don't know their place.

Tellin' adults I want them dead — That ain't my place. And I know it. I just don't care.

My Uncle Merle wasn't a danger, he was just Uncle Merle; Has been since I could talk. He used to feed me bits of his sandwich out on the deck back at home, like the tomato, 'cause he ain't like the taste. He used to fix my bike when it was broken. He used to make sure I was the first one to open presents at Christmas, and help me wrestle the wrapping when there was too much tape. He used to pull my wobbly baby teeth out for me and let me outside without shoes. He wasn't mean, or bad, or loud, or dangerous, or stupid; at least not always. He wasn't the one that got my Momma killed. He was good. And now he'd dead.

If someone had to die, I wish it had'a been Rick — Stupid, noisy, idiot Rick who ain't shed one single tear after what he done to my Uncle Merle.

I wanna get hit. I want him to hit me so bad that I'm allowed to hit him back.

"Okay." Rick says, and I can't breathe.

I feel like everything goes silent throughout camp, like the chairs and the cars and the people are all holding their breaths like I am. He actually looks a little sad, which feels really, really bad, because I wanna be angry.

"Okay. That's okay."

But as I think about my Uncle Merle, and the tomatoes, and my old bike, and what Christmas used to feel like, and my Daddy, and how he ain't even know about Merle yet, I realise I'm just really, really sad.

I can't even see Rick anymore, my eyes are so watery. My whole body hurts from being sad. I feel like I'm sick and I need to go to the doctor, but I don't even know what for. There aren't even any doctors here. Just two bastard liar cops, some campers, and a space where my Uncle Merle should be.

I think, after a while, Rick leaves.

My Dad still keeps his wallet.

It's in a backpack under his sleeping cot. He says that everything inside that bag will keep us alive some day, if we ever need to leave the quarry camp. He said I need to know exactly where it is so that I can grab it if he can't. He showed me everything the night we got here, because he forced me to, because it's important. The other kids don't learn stuff like this from their parents. It makes me feel smart. I'm in on a secret. He showed me the bug spray, which keeps our skin healthy from bug diseases, and he showed me the flashlight, which has two batteries and a big black button. He showed me the compass, the box of matches, the big knife, the little knife, the rope, and the map. It's like a Jenga tower. If we lose even one thing from the backpack; everything topples, and we die — I die. You gotta listen t'me, chicken. My Daddy's always been like this.

But the wallet made no sense.

We don't gotta pay taxes no more, like Merle said. I don't know what taxes are, except they're bad, and gone, and nobody liked them anyway. And I saw my Dad burn all his money in a campfire one night, so it can't be that.

It's the pictures, Dad told me. He flipped it open like a book, and we looked at 'em together on top of his sleeping bag. I felt like crying for a second because we forgot all my storybooks when we left our house, but Daddy hates it when I cry, so I dried up. Crying is for babies, and I'm a big girl. He showed me a photo of an actual baby, and after he touched the baby's face with his fingertip, he said the baby was me. I didn't think I could look like that. He stopped talking for a while. I listened to the cicadas in the trees to pass the time while he touched the photo. Then it was bedtime.

I'm looking at the photo now, waiting for him to get back.

I was a very pink baby. I was only the size of his forearm, which in the photo, hasn't been tattooed yet. The tattoo of my name is missing, which goes up his wrist in curly letters. Harley Davidson Dixon. It's the name of a motorcycle. The tattoo of the skull and the bleeding angel are missing, too. He's fixing my baby blanket around my chin. I guess he's been doing that since the day I was born. Every night, at least up until last week, my Dad tucks me into bed and sings me the same song. Hush little baby, don't say a word. Daddy's gonna buy you a mockingbird. I like his voice when he sings to me. Usually, he's yelling, or grumblin', but in those twenty seconds before I have to go to sleep, and nobody else is listening, he's softly whispering the lyrics to me, and touching on my ears and my cheeks. In the photo, he's crying down into his smiling mouth. That's something he doesn't do anymore.

The next photo is of us at the zoo. I know it was taken on one of the weekends I was at my Dad's house, because my Momma's not in this one. Just my Dad and two of his friends, I think, who are throwing rock star hands in the air. I'm wearing a black shirt with a videogame character on it that my Dad likes, and brown pants. I'm sitting on my Dad's hip as we pose in front of three giant elephants. My Dad's got a tiny purple backpack over his shoulder that makes him look sorta funny. It used to be mine. I'm looking at the elephant's long, silly-straw trunk as it tries to sniff us, but my Daddy's lookin' at me. I wish I remembered this day.

The third photo is a school photo with a swirly blue background. I remember this one. My Momma did my hair that day.

I know why he keeps his wallet, now. Just like how we need the bug spray, and the matches, and the rope, and the knives, and the map, and the flashlight to stay alive — I think my Dad needs these photos. They won't keep him warm or stop bugs from chewing on him, but he needs them.

I shove the wallet back where I found it, 'cause I'm not meant to be goin' through my Dad's things.

My Dad comes back while I'm vomiting under a tree.

At first, he doesn't see me. He calls for me to come get my little butt over there, so I can help him and Uncle Merle stew up some rabbits for dinner but when he hears me retch, he comes running over. I hear his crossbow drop and some more people call after him.

One minute, Lori and Amy are holding back my hair and patting my shoulders the best they can, and the next, my Daddy's forcing his way in. I'm rocking and I'm swaying like I'm on a life raft in the ocean, and I can hear Rick's voice and then Shane's and then Dale's. My Dad grabs the back of my neck and squeezes it, the way Lori and Amy would never know how to do, and tells me to lean forward some more. It works. I vomit up a chunky puddle of peaches and jerky into the dirt.

Then, I'm empty, and I'm crying — crying hard — into my Dad's lap.

"Someone wanna tell me what the Hell's goin' on here?" He snarls at whoever's around.

Feels like half the camp is here.

"How 'bout we all just try—" Shane's suggesting, but my Dad cuts him off.

"How 'bout ya'll just spit it out? And where the Hell's my brother?"

That makes me bury deeper into my Dad's legs, moaning and hiccupping. He puts a hand over my head. He's clocked the problem.

"Where the Hell's my damn brother?"

"Look, Daryl," Shane levels, "I'm just gonna come out and say it, alright? There was a problem in Atlanta."

My Dad's panting, now. "What fuckin' 'problem'?"

"Listen—"

"He dead?" Underneath me, my Dad's muscles are lurching and stopping, lurching and stopping, like he wants so much to just jump up and knock Shane to the ground, but he won't bring himself to leave me. The camp has gone completely silent.

Shane stammers. I've never heard Shane stammer. "We're— We're not sure."

The silence just keeps on goin' and goin' and goin', and somehow, it's even scarier than the yelling.

"There's no easy way to say this," Rick says, voice lowered. I wonder what my Dad looks like; if I was right about the cartoon thing.

Dad presses my head further into his stomach. "Who're you?"

"Rick Grimes."

"'Rick Grimes'." He spits, like it's an insult. It is. Bastard cop liar. "You got sum' you wanna tell me?"

"Your brother was a danger to us all." Lies Rick. "So I handcuffed him on a roof; Hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there."

After he says this, something in the air must have changed; something must have snapped without even makin' a sound, because Lori's whispering to me that I should follow her back to camp, like we're running out of time. She tries to pull me away, but I kick her; kick her hard, in the shin. She tries again. I realise she's trying to separate me from my Dad. Then, I realise he's sorta shaking. Lurching, stopping, lurching stopping. Silence, silence.

"Lemme get this straight." Dad whispers, and it's not the nice kind, like when he sings. "You're tellin' me that you handcuffed my brother to a roof."

Glenn's pulling at me now, too. Nobody else moves a muscle.

"And you left him there?!"

This time, he lurches and he doesn't stop. Glenn catches me as I'm flung from my Daddy's hip, and he passes me off to Lori as Dad goes lunging at Rick. The brown pebbles go flying up into the air. My Dad tackles Rick at the waist, and they crash into the leaves and the twigs, and his fist — The one with my birth date tattooed on each knuckle — goes smack, smack, smack, into Rick's cheek. There's yelling; scrambling. Glenn and Shane pull my Dad off of Rick, and that smacking sound stops. Dad beats Shane offa him and then, — 

"Watch the knife!" T-Dog yells. Now there's a swishing sound, and grunting sounds, and I was right — My Daddy's gonna kill Rick.

My Daddy's killed someone before. He did it on accident, 'cause he got so angry that he didn't stop until the guy was dead and gone, which means that it was aggravated manslaughter. It was in the afternoon, just like it is right now, and I was playin' in the front yard in the sprinklers. My Dad and Uncle Merle were in the open garage, smoking and poking at their bikes with tools. Ronnie lived two trailers down. I was small, and easy to pick up, so I don't remember much, but Ronnie snatched me up right there in the yard. My Daddy says he was gon' take me. But he didn't let him. Ronnie got chased into the woods, and for two days, my Daddy and Uncle Merle searched for him. Then they beat him so bad his Momma ain't recognise him when the ambulance people dragged him out in a big black bag, and the cops took my Daddy away while the sun rose. I wasn't allowed to see him for four and a half years.

I need my Dad. Suddenly, I'm shrieking at him to stop, even though I want Rick dead so bad. By now, Shane's got my Dad in a chokehold up against a tree. Are he and Rick allowed to take my Daddy away? Lori and — I think that's Amy — are shushin' me, but I just keep hittin' on them and shouting.

I writhe in the dirt. "Stop! Daddy!"

"Damn pigs!" Dad growls. "You're stressin' out my kid, now! Lemme the Hell go!"

Shane laughs. "Nah, I think it's better if I don't." Then he turns to Lori, because what my Dad said is true. "Get Harley out of here."

I don't let her move me when she tries.

Dad struggles. "Chokehold's illegal, bastard!"

"You can file a complaint later." Shane scoffs. "We got all day here."

Rick steals my Dad's knife off the ground and gets in his face. His cheek is all red and purple. The fight's over. "What I did was not on a whim," He tells my Dad straight. "Your brother does not work and play well with others. I did what had to be done in the moment, to keep us all alive."

He's lyin'. He's lyin' again. My Uncle Merle chopped these people's firewood and brought them meat. He worked well.

My Dad shoots out a foot to try hit Rick in the crotch. He misses. Shane pushes his face harder into the tree.

"It's not Rick's fault." T-Dog holds up his hands, coming close. "It's mine. I had the key. I dropped it."

"You couldn't pick it up?" Dad sasses.

"It fell in a drain." T-Dog serves up this answer like it means anything at all. I hate him.

"If that's 'posed to make me feel better, it don't." 

"Well, maybe this will." T-Dog's lookin' at me, now, too. "The door to the roof — I locked it with a padlock so the geeks couldn't get to him. There's a good chance he's still alive."

I heard this all before, when all them people kept coming up to me at the campfire. Lori told me to get some food in my stomach; the peaches and jerky. Shane tried to make me go play with Carl. T-Dog said sorry over and over again. Dale gave me the blanket. Rick made me cry. I know how this goes, though. Gettin' someone killed and killin' them with your actual hands are the same thing. I know that.

"To Hell with all'a ya'll!"

He shakes Shane off and beelines for me. He takes me from Lori with bloodied hands — Rick's blood — and I let him yank me by the back of my shirt to my feet, and I fall into his chest when he crouches. His breath is heavy on my neck. Even his skin is hot.

Lori's pale as an egg. I think she's scared of my Dad.

He takes a big breath, stands up, and drags me by the hand back to our tent without sayin' another word.

[reds-skull]

I'm currently writing the next chapter (my uni class got cancelled, so I got loads of free time, lol), and I felt like writing down a little fun fact about revenant AU's origins.

Putting it under read more for those who aren't interested, this is me just rambling lmao

So, my initial idea came from me wanting to combine the MW characters and military setting with my magic system from my original stories (that I never talk about here)

In that idea, Soap was the only one with powers, and he hid them from everyone until an event (that will happen in the fic, so I'm not telling you details) happens, and he has to reveal them to Ghost. From then on they have to work together to hide it, eventually Price and Gaz find out, and slowly they all learn more about the origins of Soap's powers.

Now a little tidbit about how my magic system works, because that's the fun part. So, you have people with powers, called Devoted, who make a deal with a god to get those powers.

The gods choose their Devoted by their personality and lifestyle, and they're extremely rare.

Now obviously you can already tell how the two magic systems align, with Reapers being the gods from my story, and revenants being the Devoted.

So, which gods would align with the 141 revenants?

Soap, because he's the only one with powers directly from the original magic system, is from the God of Chaos, of the skies and space. His powers were just explosion creation, but it was much more extreme than in revenant AU - literally anything that grazes his body could explode, you couldn't even stab him. Revenant Soap has to concentrate more to explode something, it's not as instant anymore. I chose this god for him because of the explosion powers, and because the Devoted of the Chaos god hate authority, and have a strong sense of internal moral compass.

Gaz also fits perfectly to a god, the Goddess of Cosmos, of the earth and wind. The Goddess of Chaos and the God of Cosmos are opposites, and are most lethal to each other. The Devoted of this goddess appreciate life most, and try to find order in disorder, to fix the unfixable. His gravity manipulation and how floating works for him is taken directly from a character I already had, but unlike Gaz she can't make other things float, just herself.

Ghost doesn't have a direct correlation, but because Limbo is basically filled with kinda-dead people, he would be with the God of Death, of humanity and the arts. That god is the kindest to humans, and his Devoted are the most selfless people. It's an interesting thing for Ghost to be out of all people.

Price can fit into both the death god and the Goddess of Reality, of war and pain. I lean towards reality more because Price is able to plant simple ideas in people's mind. The Devoted of the death god can only feel other's emotion, not thoughts, and they can't change them. If he was a Devoted of the goddess of reality, he would have the power to control what other people perceive of reality. The people chosen by this god are often survivors of war and great pain. Make of that what you will for Price.

I didn't introduce the others, and I have a plan for a few more canon campaign characters and their revenant powers to show up in the fic, but what I found interesting is that none of them fit in the Goddess of Life, of animals and plants. Her Devoted is the main character of my original story...

Since I got old art of all the gods I figured I could show you. Just letting y'all know the style I use for this blog is separate from my usual... because I was mainly a painter before.

The God of Chaos (old design, didn't make a painting of the new one rip)

The God of Death (the little hand is of my OC ignore it)

The Goddess of Cosmos (couldn't cut out the Devoted out of this one bc I didn't paint behind her)

And last one...

The Goddess of Reality (pretty sure this is the oldest painting here, all of them are from 2021 and before I believe)

I intentionally made the Reapers look much different than the gods, like Soap's Reaper is made of a bunch of butterflies. Ghost's reaper would actually easily fit among the gods because it looks more human than the other Reapers...

Okay I just wanted to take a break from writing the chapter I'll go back now lol

[surnumanaja]

Welcome to my TED talk called "Rooki sõbrapäevik täidetuna" since

1) i wanted to talk about my rook and two non-rooks lol

2) the only way to ask me anything is going to the four road cross on the midnight of loss thurdsay (i think it was meant as an askbox questionnaire?)

Original Rook questionnaire post

Warning: long post that's headcanon heavy and said headcanon is wild. (For longtime foreign followers who might have wondered what on earth I yap about, this is your time to find out.)

And if anyone wants an excuse to talk about their Rook(s), then I tag @pauvrecamille @artemetto @raikoden (maybe @etruski in the future? maybe also @kotitontunmanaaja ??) @happyhourtea anyway im happy to read about your rooks :D

Quick recap of the soap opera that's my headcanon: starting off from Inquisition, there were technically 4 survivors of the temple explosion, but still one herald – Magda Cadash, the other three became Inquisition members and part of the inner circle. Cadash was a good tactician on field, but politically shit ruler. She sided with templars to ensure trade deals for her family's (mainly uncle's) lyrium smuggling operation. She had hope same hope with wardens, but that didn't end up as lucrative business venture as templars.

Instead of letting Morrigan drink from the Well of Sorrows or drinking herself, she made a low ranking Inquisition elven scout drink from the well instead.

By the time of Exalted Council inquisitor Cadash was already burned out and disbanded the Inquisition. She lived very secluded life in Kirkwall until she died in house-fire that was commonly believed to be started by her uncle.

Now, in sometime right after Corypheus was slain by Cadash: Mythal, distrusting Solas, flies to Far-South in dragon form and (literally) crashes a wedding (not important whose) and enlists three following volunteers:

half-elf hunter Terhi of Taigaste (Eng Woodsville or Taigaville);

half-dwarf bard-fighter and mercinary of Kilbinäkid (The Shieldselkies) Elona "Elo" of Tormivere (either Stormblood or Stormhill);

qunari sorcerer Sander "Sass" ("Lex") of Imesaare (farm Wonderisle or Wonder-Ash (tree)).

Mythal gives them a quest to hunt down wolf god known to locals as Pontu Kaarel (Carl of Dogs, as in wolves are known dog killers). The three prepare a ritual according to a folk song, but the magic backfires and the three companions are thrown all over Thedas and other worlds (shhhh don't worry about it.) Terhi found herself in Arlathan forest, Elo in Nevarran Necropolis, and Sass got an illith tadpole in Forgotten Realms (don't worrrry aboouuut it).

Terhi joins the Veiljumpers and meets Varric and Harding and is given the nickname Rook (which she finds confusing as she's never played chess). During the events of Veilguard the three hunters manage to reunite.

(I mostly talk about Terhi, as she's my canonical Rook, unless I state otherwise lol)

1: Where in the Thedas is your Rook from?

Further south from Korcari Wilds that the northerners call "uncharted territories"

2: What is your character's alignment?

I haven't really though about character alignments for awhile. Characteristics wise Terhi is stoic, blunt, doesn't talk much, has dry sarcastic humor, very loyal.

Elo's a charmer, true soul of the party, or more accurately she was all of that until she woke up with a splitting head ache among hordes of undead and had to navigate around Necropolis virtually alone for 8 years.

And Sass had a rough life (orphan in strange land that never really accepted him, his magic constantly causing him troubles, illith tadpoles etc), but he refuses to give up and continues to find a way. Also he's a firm believer that the only good god is a dead god.

3: Race and subclass?

Half-elf Veilranger

4: If your Rook was a companion, where would they be found?

With Elo and Sass it's easy – Elo would be in the music room and Sass would be where ever they store the wine. But Terhi? Maybe she'd camp somehere in the Crossroads?

5: What emotion did they usually pick?

Stern mostly and sometimes sarcastic, diplomatic for companion's personal stuff.

6: What companion are you platonically close with?

Harding, Davrin, Bellara, and Taash. She has kind of weird almost friendly relationship with Sass, but its been greatly undermined by Sass' alcoholism.

7: Romantically close with?

Elo (headcanon, but Harding in-game), Sass was also flirtatious nuisance to Lucanis.

8: Who are they suspicious of?

Besides Solas? First time Terhi met Emmrich, she was suspicious about, because she expected him to be all snob about her Chasind origins. She also managed to be weird about Lucanis and Spite while she literally has a demon dog companion tied to her with blood magic (again don't worry about it).

There's ever-present worry and distrust about Sass' soberness and lack of it and how it will affect his magic.

And then there's something off about Harding's wife, especially when Elo tries to guess where's she's seen her and she gets more defensive.

9: Does your Rook get along with their chosen Faction?

She gets along well with other Veiljumpers other than Strife.

10: Are they proficient in playing any instruments?

Again, it's easy with Elo and Sass. Elo plays kannel, Sass can play willow flute. Maybe Terhi can be trusted with jauram, since it resembles a bow??

11: Weapon of choice?

Bow. Keep them far.

12: What is their orientation?

Terhi's a lesbian, Elo's pan and Sass is gay.

13: What are their thoughts on killing? Is it a necessary evil or do they enjoy it?

Terhi's a life long hunter, she thinks of it as a last resort ("kill or be killed") or necessity (hunting for food and hide), nothing evil nor nothing to enjoy.

14: What hobbies does your Rook have?

Make-shift crafting, cooking, dog training, and sharp-shooting have all been necessary skills for her. But she does like to stitch patterns on her clothes, that's not necessity and her needlework certainly cannot be called neat.

15: What NPCs do they like? Which one's do they dislike?

Morrigan is cool because she's also Chasind.

Terhi has her differences with Strife, especially about what comes first – the team (Terhi) or knowledge gained (Strife). They both think they are right and the other party is wrong.

16: Do they have a favorite creature in the Thedas?

Griffons! What ever those panthers in Arlathan (in the comics) were, phoenixes, and lynxes. Also normal wolves are cool and DA:I's great bears and harts.

17: Do they enjoy life as an adventurer?

Yeh

18: What would your Rook be doing if they weren't recruited by Varric?

Moved through wilderness somewhere else to see what life has to offer, but not able to find lost companions that was Terhi's goal for the first few years in Arlathan.

19: How do you think they'll meet their end?

Probably fighting something they can't best. That or of the blight because of the amount of the blight she had to hack herself through.

20: Would they side with Solas or fight him?

Get his ass for certain

21: What is your Rook's favorite ability?

Necrotic shower of arrows.

22: What languages is your character fluent in?

Mother tongue (not elvhen, but one of many languages spoken in Far-South) and trade language.

23: What do they do after an absolute crisis?

Either hitting training dummies or work out with Taash.

24: Does your character believe in the afterlife?

Yea

25: What specialization best represents your Rook?

Ranger

26: What animal best represents your Rook?

Lynx if you exclude fear of heights.

27: What was their life like before the events of Veilguard?

She survived 8 in Arlathan as did Elo in Necropolis. (They both agree being spit out in Arlathan beats Necropolis)

Of those 8 years the first half a year Sass survived in Forgotten Realms, then accidentally isekaid himself back somewhere in Orlais. Then tried to isekai himself back to Forgotten Realms via blood magic, but gave up eventually and decided that life as tranquil beats getting yourself killed through blood magic. So he's been a tranquil for 7 or so years.

Then before that 8 years, they were hunting the wolf-god for 2 years. and before that they lived their more or less separate lives.

Terhi was hunter and raised hunting and sleigh dogs.

Elona was the leader of mercenary band, ship captain and a well-known bard in Far-South.

Sass was hedgemage who did odd jobs across farms and towns.

28: Is your character the de facto leader of the party? Or do they consider someone else to be the leader?

De facto leader

29: If you could choose a different faction for your Rook, which one would they have joined and why?

Maybe Lord of Fortune would make sense too for Terhi. hmmm as well with others too i guess

30: What's your favorite thing about your Rook?

I didn't have any good ideas for my Rook so I just went with my wolf hunters and surprisingly Terhi's motivation suited well to be a Rook. (Eh and elven veiljumper Rook's origins are conflicting/vague anyway so)

[echonvoid]

My version of the Poppy Playtime protagonist. They’re based on Aliens Ripley but if older. They couldn’t remember a whole bunch from the week or so around the Hour of Joy; they were attacked by Huggy and managed to make it right outside the front doors with the help of one of the other employees, who, valiantly (read *stupidly*) ran back inside to try to help. He never came back out. Anyway, Protag was found by paramedics, but the inside was empty of bodies by the time they got there. There was a shit load of blood, and after a brief scan by the cops, they just shut that shit down. They lost a couple cops and paramedics, but mostly used their instincts and ran. Like smart people who survive a horror movie.

So the protagonist ends up in a couple month long coma and comes out of it with a severed nerve that connects to their larynx. Now they haven’t been able to properly talk for 30 years (ignore my math, I’m still unsure how I fucked it up so bad)

I can’t decide if they’re late 50s or 60s. They’re farsighted, but their reading glasses have broke, so it’s really hard to see all the small faded text (which is why you can’t just read any ole file while playing)

They feel guilty bc they had been so proud to be a part of something with so much benefit and joy to kids, and now they’re finding out the actual *EVIL* that was happening to those with connection to the place. They feel guilty bc they feel like they should’ve known; *how could they have let this all happen right underneath their very nose*;etc. etc. they also have a burning hatred for the other managerial heads in the company (they themselves being head of toy production; their name is destroyed bc the prototype was enraged that one of the five main evils of the company got away or some shit like that)

It took them a while to figure out how to live and function without speech; and after a few years of slogging through a comphet (compulsory heteronormative) marriage, they finally went through a nasty divorce. Shortly after they figured out their own gender identity (or at least started the awkward process of) and their own sexuality.

Thirty years later (almost on the dot) they got the message and tape that cried for help from the factory and nearly shit themselves. Proto definitely assumed that the company had just shut down, cuz you know that the cops were paid to keep a building with almost 500 (or so) employees, that went missing and were presumably dead, under wraps from the public. They’re definitely super grateful they’ve been doing tumbling and martial arts classes, so they have been in incredible shape and can do all the crazy shit required to stay alive.

Edit: this is what I’m gonna call the Survivor AU cuz I realize that the game takes place in 2005 and not, like, 2025. And we apparently played hooky during the “hour of joy” in canon lore. Oh well

God this chapter fucked me up, in a good way. It was spooky as fuck, tense and terrifying; they’ve super upped the quality. But now I have just enough brain rot and characters to attach to to actually go through and draw up the design that’s been banging around in my head for ever.

[elfrootenthusiast]

Take this as permission to ramble about an oc <3

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY CASSIE TIME

every1 look @ her outfits........ if u dont want to read th worlds longest oc lore dump u can go in #party rat, #cassie, or #boss cass and learn literally everything u need 2 know abt her frm context clues

SO THATS CASSIEEE my mgs oc ✨ aka cassandra aka cass aka party rat aka my baby

looong story short she was your classic mgs child soldier with a streak of bad luck until she tried to KILL big boss in the late 1960s. she was one of the first poor bastards he took under his wing and following the dubiously canon events of the san hieronymo incident she became one of the original members of the foxhound unit: solitary shrike.

obviously that code name sucks ASS and honestly so did she; she was moody, rude, violent and didnt work well with others. absolutely no joy or whimsy until she met some british asshole named lance hewitt, codename bengal tiger, and got paired up with him. they proceeded to survive a catastrophic near death mission that changed the trajectories of their lives FOREVER on account of they emerged from it so ride or die for each other that they began matching each others freak to an inadvisable degree.

she changed her name (surprise her given name isnt cassandra. only 3 people in the whole world know what it used to be and im not one of those people) and her code name to reflect the "new her" she wanted to cultivate after facing death, branding herself "party rat." the goal? fill whatever life she had left with as much joy, love & fun as she possibly could. she was going to sing as loud as she wanted, dance as wild as she felt like, and finally stop holding herself back from fully connecting with the people around her. to solidify this, as well as to show her complete and utter over the top devotion to him, she took on lances last name, finally becoming the cassandra hewitt we all know + love

now a member of the MSF cass works as an engineer sergeant, chief mechanic, & generally invents a bunch of highly questionable weapons and machines. she also operates on the field as a demolitions expert for her squad, which grows to include an absolute dickhead named joaquin gutierrez, or mangey jackal. though she tries to embrace her new party spirit and the "peace and love" vibes of the time, he singles out bengal for some intensive one on one training and eventually pushes him to the point of breaking, making cass snap and quite literally bite his ear off. but like. he was fine. and everyone got better. and she taught him how to do the hustle as a peace offering. nothing a little disco cant fix.

back to the Plot: she eventually gets wrapped up in the creation of metal gear zeke, and was one of the weak points exploited by paz that allowed her to hijack it later on. she meets her canonical end during the ground zeroes incident, dying alone in the lower levels after sending her squadmates ahead to buy time. she blowed up </3

in alternate timelines where she survives she loses her left arm and occasionally her leg below the knee as well. as a sole survivor she becomes tangled in a web between big boss, zero, and cipher, creating a PMC of her own in order to pick up the pieces and continue the legacy left to her. she also begins raising the clone sons of her late best friend as her own but THATS neither here nor there <- dont even worry about it if the others survive she manages to slip from the attention of the higher ups and settles on creating a relief network with amanda valenciano libre, an old friend from her time in the msf. no matter what, cass maintains a stubborn belief that unless shes seen the bodies of her friends theyre still alive, which means she cant rest until shes found them. even if it takes Nine Years

ANYWAYS LIKE. tldr: shes like if pinkie pie had a party cannon that killed people for realsies

[goosewriting]

i can't believe my brain finally, finally let me have a cal kestis appearance in my dream last night and it was the saddest most heart-wrenching thing ever 😩 my dreams are crazy, detailed and elaborate so this will get long lol if you feel like reading, go ahead, it's real "reader falls into an alternate universe and needs to find their way back" fic material 😂

btw if any of you ever have dreams with your blorbos i'd love to read it so feel free to honk in my inbox c:

so it kinda went back and forth between two different dreams i'm pretty sure. one playing at the university library and the other playing somewhere else. in the library one i was at a table with some classmates, working on our assignments, but there were also some people i know from elsewhere and we started arguing over something. then there was this girl who had lost something and i tried to talk her through how to get to the lost & found, giving the wildest (and very wrong) directions.

the other dream started in the middle of a yellow field of tall grass, where train tracks ran through from one side of the horizon to the other, nothing else to see. when the train came, it was massive, and i was participating in a heist of sorts. we (still don't know who the other people were) were successful i think, because the train derailed and we looted it. I think there was some big boss mastermind somewhere who told us what to do and we were all scared of her lol

so i don't exactly remember what happened after the heist, but the thing is there were these jumps between the dreams where in one i was this badass agent of whatever and doing cool stuff, and in the other i was "real me" in this world doing mundane things. although at some point i'm pretty sure i suddenly was an estate agent trying to set everything up for a visit except that the house was made of cardboard, but that's beside the point 😂 the scenarios from the library timeline i'm pretty sure happened not only somewhere else but in a different time altogether.

at one point, the events of the heist dream kinda come to its peak, and i now find myself in a big room (in hindsight i think it was the archives on jedha from the survivor game?) and somewhere in the air there's a bucket-shaped thing that's swallowing everything around it in a whirlwind, essentially ripping apart time and space. and as it turns out, cal has been there the whole time, and we were actually fighting together and stuff. but now that the bucket is about to shred the fabric of reality, we have to do something. and for some reason the plan of action is that i have to travel to a different universe. we (cal, me, and some other people idk) were all standing at a holotable looking at a map displaying different planets and universes and stuff (again, in hindsight, very web of life and destiny like. i just mashed everything together here it seems xD). and the reasoning in my head went like this: the planet we find ourselves on at this moment is not necessarily star wars canon and is outside of the known parts of the galaxy. so even if i do find my way back to this universe (which i was sure i could do, somehow) i still have no means to contact cal and or even find the planet again. so the search would take quite a while.

and there isn't enough time for us to set up a meeting point and time or anything because of the imminent danger. someone is already dragging me back to the bucket to be sucked into next wednesday or whatever, but i go up to cal one last time and he gives me the strongest hug and omg i didn't wanna let go. at this point i 'm in tears and as someone once again pulls me away and drags me off, i call to him "i will find you" and then everything goes black.

it's so lame i know but i legit woke up with a hole in my heart ;-;

my conclusion is that after leaving that place, the time and space travel kinda wiped my mind so i started a new life (the one at the library and the cardboard house) and completely forgot about cal :'( eventually i'd get snippets of memories, which is why the dream kept jumping back and forth, but i probably just thought they were daydreams or whatever, not my own memories. now that's some meta angst man.

oh and also at some point there were gorillas that shapeshifted into smaller versions of themselves with wings to fly around, and everyone was absolutely okay with that except that they were aggressive so they didn't like them. how that ties into any part of the dream i couldn't tell you but it was just a striking image to see these giant apes suddenly become small and flutter around shdjddkd

[quibbs126]

Alright, so I just made up this character this morning basically right after waking up, and I thought I’d draw her and show her to you. As I said in the image, this is Ruby Cacao Cookie, and she’s supposed to be Dark Cacao’s older sister (not by that much though)

I got her name because a few weeks ago, I was looking up ruby chocolate to see what exactly it was, and apparently ruby chocolate is made from a new species of cacao bean called ruby cacao. She was originally just going to be a character named Ruby Choco that Dark Cacao used to know, but then I remembered that ruby chocolate came from ruby cacao, so I thought “ooh maybe they could be siblings if she were Ruby Cacao” and so yeah

Also, as you might be able to guess, she’s supposed to be where Dark Choco gets his red eyes from, since while I like Dark Cacao ships (mainly Jujube/Cacao and Pure Vanilla/Dark Cacao/White Lily (does that have a ship name? I’m calling it purecacaolily)), I’m pretty sure in canon, Dark Choco’s only supposed to have one parent, that being Dark Cacao. So why not say he got it from another family member?

I made her hair a different color so she stood out from Dark Cacao and Choco, so I colored it after the ruby cacao pods I saw online. But I still kept the white streaks to show the connection

To be honest, I was struggling today with both her design and backstory (which was also my revision of my take on Dark Cacao’s backstory, since I’ve changed what I thought about it), mainly since I have two tests today, one of which I still need to take, and this morning my brain was split between doing physics problems in recitation, reading the books/notes for my Literature test in like an hour, listening to the discussions going on at the table, and coming up with stuff for her. Then after that I was just mentally exhausted from the Literature exam. Only in the past few hours have I been able to come up with something

Aight, so. The backstory. Note, the main character in this story will be Dark Cacao, since this also serves as my retcon of his old backstory

So Dark Cacao came from the Cacao Tribe, a place that at the time, was barely holding on. The people were starving and struggling to find enough food, the beasts in the area had grown more vicious, and their best warriors had all now crumbled away. Because of this, the people of the tribe had basically lost all hope, and were just waiting for their inevitable demise. Any concept of happiness or laughter were nothing but a pipe dream; it was a truly miserable place. Dark Cacao lived there with his sister, Ruby Cacao. They didn’t understand why the adults had all just given in to despair, and wanted to speak out against it, but they were just children, and so no one would listen to them.

One day, the tribe’s demise came in the form of a particularly devastating attack on their village (I haven’t decided what). Dark Cacao and Ruby Cacao were just barely able to escape, and they, like any of the other survivors, fled into the mountains.

They wondered why things had gotten so bad in their tribe, and eventually figured that maybe if they had chosen to keep trying and help each other instead of always being hopeless, they could have saved themselves. So the two (it was technically Ruby’s idea, but Dark quickly agreed with it) decided that they won’t make that mistake, and that they would try and help Cookies in need.

They did this for a while, this giving them a drive which helped them thrive in the wilderness, up until one particular day when they found a group of Cookies being attacked by some monsters, and they fought them off (they can probably fight and use swords at this time, though it’s a bit rudimentary), but in the process Ruby Cacao got a pretty nasty wound. At the time, she shrugged it off, but on the journey back to the Cookies’s village, it quickly grew worse and she all but collapsed. They were eventually able to get to the village and find a healer, but by the time they did, it was too late, and unfortunately her wound would be fatal, due to internal bleeding. Soon, Ruby Cacao succumbed to her wound, but not before making Dark Cacao promise that he would continue to help other Cookies in need, and then crumbling in front of him

Edit: okay, so after more thought, I’m changing the backstory from when the Cacao Tribe was destroyed to when Ruby Cacao crumbles (everything I italicized) because I don’t like it. In my defense, what I wrote here was kind of literally my first draft that I had only come up with in a few hours. I’ll keep the original just for posterity, but just note, it’s not going to be part of it

So they managed on their own for a bit. While it was more difficult now that they didn’t have others to rely on, regardless of how helpful they were, but they found a way. However, one day they got attacked by a hungry beast, and while they were eventually able to drive it off, in the process Ruby Cacao got seriously injured.

Dark Cacao tried to help, but he could only do so much, and so he tried to find someone to help her. He was able to find other travelers or tribes, but when he asked for help, they turned him away, as they had to look out for themselves. By the time he was able to find a doctor that would actually try to help, it was too late, and soon Ruby Cacao ended up crumbling in front of him

After this, Dark Cacao was left in a daze, unable to process her death, and finding himself climbing the mountains in a blizzard, as if to join her. Thankfully, he was saved by a certain pair of twins. After this, he took some time to process it all, and told himself that he had to make sure that no one else goes through what he did by helping those in need. And so, he became a wandering warrior, helping where he could

During this time, he was very lonely, and desired companionship again, but at the same time, didn’t let himself be close to another person both because he didn’t want to lose someone again, and because he felt finding someone new would be a betrayal to Ruby Cacao, as if he was just replacing her. But most notably, his experiences had led him to have a rather cynical outlook on the world and other Cookies. He had learned that in this world, Cookies tended to only look out for themselves or the people they cared about, and that compassion for anyone else was scarce. He’d help others, sure, but he wouldn’t trust them, at least not to the extent that he could rely on them. So even if he wanted to be around others, just didn’t see a reason to risk it.

He dealt with those feelings for a long time, until he met the other Ancients and went along with them on their travels, eventually coming to the realization that there is good in this world, and he can allow himself to open his heart to others and be with them, even if Ruby Cacao was still gone

Over the years, Ruby Cacao is something he’s kept close to his heart, but also something he doesn’t like talking about (only the other Ancients know about her). Though, for a while, he was starting to feel as if he was forgetting her, as it had been so long since he saw her face. But when Dark Choco was born, and he saw those red eyes, he felt that painful pang of familiarity as he remembered once more

But yeah, that’s Ruby Cacao. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a Calc test to take

Edit: I just realized that I didn’t really mention anything about her actual personality. To be honest, I haven’t really thought about that much, but I’ll work on it

[eating-plastic]

I'd love to know more about your f/o Ricky!! I love reading your replies to the prompts but I don't know who Ricky is tbh lol this is an invitation to gush about him :3 <3 <3

Ay, I absolutely ain't got no problems talking about Ricky so thank you for the invitation 🥰!

Roller Ricky is a side character from the game Killer Frequency. He's a sweet and fun loving guy who runs a roller rink in the fictional small town of Gallows Creek(hence the nickname). He's very chill, down to Earth, and friendly. He also has an emotional support dog named Max who he absolutely loves (which it's sooo fucking cute how much he loves him oh my God).

Despite being certified sweet boi in my books (calls him "certified sweet boi" even tho he's literally a grown ass man in his late 30s lol), he has no problems with scaring off someone with his rifle if they threaten him or those he loves (this is literally canon, and I love that it's canon).

Annnnnnd what's a certified sweet boi without a traumatic backstory. Without spoiling the game too much, Ricky went through this fucked up prank in high school where he literally thought his friends were fucking murdered and one of them actually fucking dying (I'm not kidding you, shit's fucked up). Turns out it was a stupid hazing ritual that his football team was doing to the new players, and he didn't know that because he can't keep secrets well and would've spoiled it. Yeah that's not a good fucking excuse because he developed really bad survivor's guilt that caused him to become an alcoholic to deal with the trauma (and my poor bby I wanna wrap him up in a blanket now 😭).

Fortunately, he found a support group and got actual therapy for his trauma. Now he encourages others to push through tough times.

Yeah I love this man soooo much it's not even funny lol.

What's sad tho is Killer Frequency is kinda niche(?) I think, so there isn't too much content out there for him, despite being relatively well liked by fans. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who has written any x reader things for him. That's so me tho, I've always fallen in love with characters that are unknown or unpopular, it's my curse. Anyways, my first ever full length fanfic I wrote, Heart Shaped Roller Rink (been thinking about making that our ship name, I think it's cute) was a Roller Ricky x reader fic. I've thought about revamping it too with it being my first fanfic; just kinda clean up the wacky formatting and fix the grammatical errors (I feel like with him being my f/o now, it's what he deserves lol). Then I literally wrote some headcanons for him the day after I posted that fic. Finally, not too long after that, I wrote another fic with him where the reader was pregnant because I feel it in my bones that he'd be such a sweet dad.

Also, like a fool I said that that was going to be the last I would write for him. God, what a funny joke because I have another idea for a fic (now if only I had the time and motivation). I didn't really plan on having him as my f/o, but after realizing I had written three things for him back to back to back, I was like "yeah, this is more than loving a character a normal amount." Soooo yeah, that's how he became my f/o. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved x reader fics and shit(still do btw), but I've never felt this strongly for a character before.

Now, I am happy to be a part of the wonderful world of self shipping with him ❤️

Bonus:

Hehe himb 🥰🥰❤️

[weeb-cheese]

Hello! Changel from Twitch here! Hope the day is treating you well <3

This is the quite heavy question i didn't share on twitch bc of it being heavy, but feel free not to answer it if it makes you too uncomfortable to talk about!

So...I have been following the Kuro manga since before the Blue Memory Arc was released, but I never realized Ciel was a victim of CSA until the chapter where it was disclosed. Recently, after i got back into the manga, i even thought "Yana, did you even plan this or was it a last minute decision to put something extremely fucked up?"

However, looking trough tumblr, i found out some people called it (and i may have misinterpreted, or remember wrong, but I think you're one of them?) before it even happened and i wanted to ask...Can you share what made it so obvious for you? Because the only thing i can think of is his dislike for physical touch, but that can be chalked up to non-sexual physical abuse as well, so idk I'm just curious on what the foreshadowing was that i missed?

Again, feel free not to answer if its too heavy. I usually avoid any talk about sexual assaults of any kind, however i just wanted to understand the foreshadowing/effects on o!Ciel that i missed, but i totally understand if you don't feel up to it. Your mental health comes first :)

Sorry to bring up such a dark topic...

Stay safe <3

I don't clearly remember what it was exactly that let me know. I think it was a combination of things. But mostly I think it was a gut feeling and projection? More explanation under the cut since it's long and also can be heavy

I started reading the manga for Kuro shortly after getting out of a really traumatic relationship. I'll be straight up, there was nothing more than non-consensual groping and a type of emotional abuse that some mental health professionals call emotional rape. So I obviously never experienced anything like Ciel did. But, I was able to take my own feelings and find them in Ciel. Things I felt, and behaviors I exhibited were mirrored and exaggerated in him. He was displaying behaviors that had my mom asking me if anything had happened. So I kind of just put two and two together. (btw this was a decade ago. I've been healing, and am okay now!)

A scene that really solidified it though was his PTSD attack in Green Witch arc. And especially the fact that he only felt safe with Finny there. Ciel wasn't in a place where he could clearly differentiate between reality and his own nightmares and memories. So any adult presence was a reminder of those who hurt him. But since Finny was also a teenager, his presence was safe, comforting even. There are a few other scenes through out the manga where Ciel displays classic symptoms of being an assault survivor. Moments where he didn't want to be touched that felt too extreme to be anything else. Like the time he pulled a gun on Sebastian when being woken up one morning after a nightmare. The manga tried to play it off as him being scared after reading scary stories before bed. But it felt deeper than that to me.

It also just made sense to me? I had a really negative outlook on the world back then, and for some reason was hearing a lot about assault in the news. And I was also getting to the age where my mom was talking to me more about that kind of thing, so I'd be aware and better able to protect myself as I graduated high school and entered college. So I guess it was just on my mind a lot. But it just seemed like a safe assumption to make. Like what else would these weirdos be doing with a bunch of kids? I say this all the time, but it's THE WORST headcanon to have confirmed in canon.

I think with the symbolic way Yana Toboso portrayed THAT chapter, it wasn't done for shock factor or just to add something fucked. I think it was something she had in mind from the start. And at least knew she wanted to include that in the manga long enough to have put so much thought and care into how she portrayed it. It's still an incredibly fucked up chapter, but to me it didn't feel like something she put in for the sake of the reader, or to gawk at how fucked up it is. She's referenced CSA a bit through out the manga as well. In the Circus arc, when Kelvin is told that Ciel was in captivity and would be the lamb, the other guy makes a comment about how he and the other cult guys would love Ciel plenty enough for Kelvin. And that so clearly is about CSA, especially now that I know Yana Toboso had that in mind as well.

I don't think you really missed a lot of foreshadowing. Especially since most of it was vague or brushed off and explained away by something else in the manga. Or required you to be pretty familiar with those feelings and symptoms yourself. If Yana Toboso wanted to make it clearer from the start, she would have. Maybe she wasn't too sure if she wanted to confirm that. I know when it comes to the writing process you'll come up with a lot of character traits and back stories that help shape the character, but may not actually make it to the final product of the story.

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO's Bookclub : The Name of the Game was Murder

Title: The Name of the Game was Murder Author: Joan Lowery Nixon Genre: YA Mystery

Goodreads Summary :

Novelist Augustus Trevor has written a manuscript that reveals the darkest secrets of his guests. Whoever can solve Trevor's clues can have his story removed from the book. But when Trevor is bludgeoned to death, the survivors (along with the reader) are challenged to find both the manuscript and the murderer.

Review:

Okay - back to finishing up reading all of Joan Lowery Nixon's canon YA mysteries. (Because I'm close to the end on these.)

So - this particular book holds a special place in my heart. It was my favorite JLN and quite possibly the first one I bought (if it wasn't On The Other Side of Dark - which, who knows, maybe I bought them together). This is the one that I reread the most -- though upon reread, I had shockingly little memory of what it was about.

And I may have to argue this is the best one that I've read so far.

Interestingly, the thing about this book is that, other than our plucky heroine, there really aren't any of our normal JLN tropes here. No one is from Texas, no matriarch with overlaying Christian values, and no love interest. And while I can tell it's of the same ilk as the rest of Nixon's novels, it does stand out at being a smidge better writing than the rest of the novels.

I'm not sure, though, that it's necessarily good? Just better than what's come before it.

The story is one part Agatha Christie, one part Clue, and one part Westing Game (which -- I can see why I was initially drawn in by this one.) However -- all three of the above are much better in quality, and this almost feels generically mundane in comparison.

Sam comes to a secluded island off the coast of California in hopes that her famous uncle (through marriage) will give her writing tips. It's kind of hysterical that a fifteen year old thinks she can bounce in on a nastier GRR Martin and expect to be given the time of day, but this is also a book where Sam is the only one smart enough to even figure out what is going on.

Sam isn't so bad -- especially when compared to most of the other heroines of these books. She's still a bit altruistic at times, and I find it a little hard to believe that she's the smartest person in the room at all times. But there's nothing egregiously bad about her. I think she's a blank enough slate that the reader could probably put themselves in her shoes without too much trouble.

Her uncle, Augustus Trevor, is a complete asshole -- including to his wife Thea (Sam's aunt being her only friend and ally on the island) and is writing a manuscript that he's using to essentially blackmail famous people. He also put a scandalous story in about his own wife. I realize you're supposed to not be upset about this guy's death but honestly, he is a huge creep - and you have to wonder how and why Trevor and Thea were ever married in the first place.

The famous people are a collection of stereotypes usually found in these kinds of things. A fragile, aging movie star. A Danielle Steele type novelist. A fashion designer (whom I was worried would be gay coded - but even though he was the most vicious of the guests, was not at all painted as queer). An older football star. And a senator (whose politics some what remind me of today's politics.) They aren't all that interesting, tbh, and react to things in the exact manner you'd expect. But mostly they're idiots there because the story needs them to be.

The foundation for the mystery is intriguing enough, but maybe now that I'm older and have read so many more (better) mysteries, it feels stale and standard. The clues given you might be able to figure out if you're very clever - but feel like they're stretching. And I wish the backstories of everyone weren't info-dumped a few chapters from the end.

The ending was as abrupt as usual - and while the book mostly hints at who did it, I wish there had been just a little more to go on. And I wish there had a bit more closure.

Just wanted to make a final note about the atmosphere and setting of the book. Now that we're in the 90s, it doesn't have that same dated feeling as the earlier books did. But I have to add there's a hilarious sequence where everyone argues about how little they know and use computers.

Anyway -- I won't be surprised if I walk away with this being her best book. I think I may like A Deadly Game of Magic a little more due to the creepy atmosphere - but this is probably the best written. I suppose that's as close as a recommendation you're going to get for one of these books.

Rating : 3.75 Stars

[vibrantbirdy]

Pursuit: A Ben Solo Star Wars Story - Chapter 4

Title: Pursuit Fandom: Star Wars: Skywalker Saga Genres: Sci-Fi, Action/Adventure, Romance Setting: Post The Rise of Skywalker (Ben Solo lives!) Chapter: 4/? Main Character: Ben Solo (Kylo Ren) Warnings: Canon-typical violence; adventure peril; minor angst, mild sexuality/mutual sexual feelings - slow burn be slow burning; any further warnings will be specified by chapter Main Pairings: Ben Solo/OC Other Pairings throughout: Poe/Finn; Mentions of Ben Solo (Kylo Ren)/Rey Author's Note: My postings have finally caught up with my writing so I'm breaking new ground now, but I still hope to get a chapter out once a week. I'm also playing Jedi: Survivor at the moment, so there are other distractions...

Pinned Post: Please find all completed chapters of Pursuit here.

Read: Chapter 1 ; Chapter 2; Chapter 3

Summary: Three years after surviving events on the planet Exegol, Ben Solo is carving out a solitary life for himself in the New Republic against the backdrop of reconstruction. His pursuance of quiet redemption is interrupted when a new threat to the Galaxy emerges from an old and terrifying enemy. With the help of new friends and unlikely allies, Ben must set out into Wild Space to defeat the darkness rising and put his own demons to rest once and for all.

Chapter 4 (Word Count: 6330)

Grand Inquisitor, Endo Seris, stood on the bridge of the Imperial Star Destroyer he had rechristened Seeker. A bit on the nose perhaps, but why beat around the bush? He'd never had the patience for subtlety.

The old relic was one of many Imperial ships he'd salvaged over the years from various places across Wild Space - junk yards, pirate strongholds, abandoned Imperial and First Order outposts. His fleet was growing day by day, although only one of his ten Destroyers, this one, was in good enough condition to fly as far as needed for this mission.

Second Sister and Third Brother flanked him on either side. Both had proven themselves worthy apprentices over the past three years. Second Sister, an adept Force wielder, had showed particular promise.

After bearing witness to the demise of the Emperor on Exegol at the hands of the traitor Ren and the Jedi girl, Seris had fled with remnants of the Sith Eternal into the very depths of Wild Space.

There, Seris had found them. His new kin. There had been slim pickings in terms of prey out on the very edge of the Galaxy to hone his students' skills but he had managed. Now, both young warriors were adept hunters of the Force sensitive.

“Officer Denkins,” Seris turned to the Officer at the helm. “Have we been detected by the New Republic?” “No Sir,” the Officer answered with a hint of pride.

Seris reached out through the Force and detected the pulse of ambition coursing through the young helmsman's veins. That was acceptable. Like all of Seris' skeleton crew, this young man was the result of generations of families with Imperial loyalties. Like his ships, Seris offered those faithful to the ideals and legacy of the Galactic Empire a new purpose.

Officer Denkins was wearing an Imperial uniform which Seris suspected had belonged to his father's father. It was worn and faded with age, but young man obviously took pride in it. There was not a crease, nor speck of dust to be seen.

Seris turned his attention back to the small freighter on their flank. The Force works in mysterious ways. How convenient that Kylo Ren and this Force sensitive youngling had found their way to each other. Seris had already been briefed on his chief engineer's conclusion that the old Destroyer's capability to lock on to their target was not yet operational. A shame today would not be the day he made Ren pay for his treachery, but it was no real matter. There was no rush. That day would come in time.

“They are getting away,” Third Brother growled in frustration, as they watched the small freighter carrying Ren and the girl from Bakura power up its engines to make the jump to light speed.

Third Brother, able warrior and skilled hunter though he was, had a tendency to look at what was right in front of him and miss the bigger picture. Second Sister had no such weakness. She was gifted with almost unnatural patience and she was sage with it too.

“Second Sister,” Seris asked, “What do you think Ren is going to do now that he understands we are not a mere manifestation of his pitiable, damaged psyche?”

“I feel the conflict raging within him, Grand Inquisitor,” Second Sister answered, eyes closed, a hungry smile spreading across her face.

“Ren has a pathetic desire to prove himself useful to the New Republic, to be worthy of their forgiveness. He is weak and he will not be able to resist the pull to the Light. He,” she paused as her wolfish grin widened, “will come to us.” “Precisely,” Seris said, pleased with her intelligent evaluation. “And when he does, he will lead us to the very heart of the new Jedi Order.”

He clenched his fist thinking of the sweetness of the victory to come. He watched Ren's ship stretch then disappear in a flash of light as it made the jump to hyper space.

Then he turned on his heel, giving Officer Denkins the order set a course back to Wild Space as he strode off the Seeker's bridge. He was satisfied, if not pleased, with the day's events.

********************************************************************

Poe Dameron found himself questioning his own reality as he stood in the middle of a large forest clearing on some backwater planet in the Mid Rim face to face with Kylo Ren.

Ren's ship sat at the opposite side of the clearing from Poe and Finn's borrowed HWK-290 light freighter. It was an old ship, but boy was she still fast, and they'd needed to take something quick and light to make the rendezvous on time. Poe had taken immense pleasure in flying it at the very limit of its speed threshold, much to Finn's chagrin.

Ren's face was different. More open, almost placid. Certainly much less like he was walking around with the world's worst tension headache. It made him look younger somehow despite the short beard he now wore. This man looked like your everyday variety cargo pilot.

Still, the intensity of his eyes, though less feral, had not faded.

“What do you want, Ren?” asked Poe, determining that this time, he definitely would talk first.

Poe could have sworn that the former Supreme Leader of the First Order had flinched at the mention of his old name. Poe revelled in it, although he knew he shouldn't.

He felt Finn, ever his conscience, move slightly at his shoulder, and Poe knew well enough that that was a subtle message for him to behave.

Solo from now on then, though Poe hardly thought he deserved to use the name.

“I need your help,” Ren - Solo – said, having regained his composure annoyingly quickly, “What do you know about the Inquisitorius?”

Silence.

“Nothing,” Poe admitted after a beat.

He spread his hands theatrically, gesturing to Solo that he should continue if he really had to.

“Please. Why don't you enlighten us.”

Solo explained that in the time of the Empire, an Order of Inquisitors, ruthless Force sensitive warriors, some former Jedi who had been turned to the Dark Side, had specialised in hunting down and slaughtering any Jedi who had survived Palpatine's purge. These Inquisitors would often capture Force sensitive children, brainwashing them and turning them into killing machines for the Empire.

Poe had thought he'd known everything there was to know about the depraved depths the Empire had sunk to in its domination of the Galaxy - how had he never heard of this? He had a sudden and unexpected rush of – what? Sympathy for Solo?

Maybe not quite. Perhaps he could best define it as a new perspective on the deplorable path that Solo's life had taken as Kylo Ren. From what he'd heard, Solo had been little more than an impressionable, lost kid himself when Snoke had corrupted him and turned him to the Dark Side.

“They're back,” Solo said, “They are searching for me and...”

“Ah, now we're getting to it,” Poe scoffed, so incensed he was physically unable to let Solo finish his sentence, “What are you asking? You want us to waste Republic time and resources because you're finally going to get your comeuppance from these guys for being a turn coat? C'mon!”

“That's not it.” Solo's tone was irritatingly level.

“OK, well,” Poe threw up his hands, “Whatever it is, this sounds more like Jedi business, so isn't it time you and Rey just...”

“No,” Solo and Finn said simultaneously.

They shared a strange look of knowing agreement which Poe found to be infuriating. The first time Finn had opened his mouth since they'd got there and he'd used it to agree with Kylo kriffing Ren.

“No,” Ben repeated still looking with a sort of mild curiosity at Finn.

“If they capture me and I know where Rey's Temple is...”

He trailed off before redirecting his piercing gaze towards Poe.

“Do you understand what I'm saying?”

Poe nodded grimly, clenching his teeth and trying to keep his anger at bay. He did understand, boy did he understand. Memories of his own desperate attempts to resist Ren's excruciating probing of his mind for information; his futile efforts to protect his friends; the abject failure that followed.

He felt Finn's hand come to rest on the small of his back, a small gesture of comfort, but one which allowed him to refocus.

“It's not just about me, Dameron. They will hunt down and eliminate any Jedi that they find in whatever manner they see fit.”

Solo's words were quiet but steady as he continued in that deep monotone of his.

“They're building their numbers and amassing a fleet.”

“A fleet?” Finn asked incredulously. “From what? Scraps?”

“Yes.”

The answer was so simple, neither Poe nor Finn it seemed had any comeback prepared.

“I've seen it,” Solo continued. “They tracked me on an Imperial Star Destroyer from Wild Space to the edge of the Mid Rim.”

Poe rolled his eyes and he thought he even heard Finn let out an exasperated sigh. He was glad to know they were finally on the same page about this.

What a load of Bantha crap.

“Old Imperial ships don't have that tech...” Finn started, but Solo cut across him.

“No, I mean the Inquisitor tracked me. Not the ship.”

“They can do that?” Finn asked tentatively, “Using the Force?”

Solo nodded.

“They specialise in it.”

Then,

“If they go unchecked, they won't stop until they raze the New Republic to the ground.”

Solo's ominous words left a wake of empty, sober silence. The three men stood looking at one another for a moment. Poe sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He turned to Finn who shrugged. Poe heard his affable voice in his head. Let's hear him out.

“Okay, what are you suggesting, Solo?” Poe asked, finally.

“I play them at their own game. I track them through Wild Space, I find their stronghold, take stock of their forces and I report back to you.”

Solo's face broke into a crooked grin which was so unexpectedly charming it was almost shocking. Poe had never seen the man smile before.

“And then the New Republic blow them all to hell.”

At this, Poe couldn't keep a reluctant smirk of his own from lifting the corners of his mouth.

“Well,” he said, turning to Finn who grinned back, “I gotta admit, I kinda like the sound of that.”

“There's something else...”

“Oh perfect,” Poe quipped under his breath as he exchanged a nervous glance with Finn.

Solo took out a transponder and spoke into it.

“You can come out now,” he said.

*********************************************************************

Ada listened intently as Ben and the two strangers explained to her about a woman called Rey who was master of a new Jedi Temple. The Temple was safely hidden on a planet deep within the heart of the New Republic. Even Ben didn't know where it was. Poe Dameron and Finn – just Finn apparently – would take Tallah there and this Rey would help her hone her abilities.

Tallah stood between her and Ben, one little warm hand in hers, the other enveloped in Ben's.

“Tallah,” Ada said softly, moving between the girl and Ben and dropping to one knee so that she was level with her niece.

She tucked a stray blonde lock behind the girl's ear.

“I think you should go with them. Their friend can help you with your gift. But I won't make you. It's your choice”

Tallah nodded. “I want to go, I want to learn.”

She leaned in conspiratorially with a furtive glance at Finn and Poe and whispered, “I think they're nice.”

Overhearing this, Poe shrugged in an exasperated but not unkind sort of a way. He was clearly slightly bewildered at the whole situation. From the way they reacted to one another, it was obvious he, Finn and Ben had some history. Finn just smiled reassuringly.

They did seem “nice.” Or at least good enough to take on the responsibility of transporting a child in danger somewhere safe. And they certainly seemed capable of it. Ben had filled her in on the way – these guys were apparently Resistance war heroes.

It was a strange thing for Ada to even be considering letting her niece go with these two men she'd never met before. She'd spent the past few months hardly daring to even let her out of her sight. But she'd learned to trust Tallah's assessment of character and her ability to read people's intentions implicitly. It had kept them alive up until now. And besides, she found herself trusting Ben's judgement too.

Tallah looked over the top of Ada's head.

“Ben, will I get a laser sword?”

Ben let out a short burst of laughter, a pleasing wrinkle appearing on the bridge of his nose. Dameron and Finn were staring at him with a sort of disbelieving fascination. It was as if he'd just grown another head. Ben must have noticed it too because he quickly dialled back his mirth.

“Maybe kid,” he patted Tallah on her golden head.

“Ada's going with you,” she said to him simply and a little sadly, although Ada hadn't discussed it with her and it broke her heart to know that Tallah had worked it out on her own.

She could feel Ben's eyes burning into the back of her head and just knew he was looking at her with that that appraising gaze of his.

Great, she thought, standing up and dusting the forest floor off her knees in preparation for an disagreement. She spun round to face him. Infuriatingly, she realised she only came up to his chin.

“You know damn well you'll be more efficient with a navigator, someone who knows the terrain,” she said defiantly, refusing to let Ben get the first word, “I grew up in Wild Space.”

“I thought it was just space to you,” Ben shot back, but there was a lightness to his tone and Ada realised with some embarrassment that he'd not been intending argue with her at all.

“Are you sure, Ada?” was all he asked.

“Tallah will be safe with this woman, Rey?”

She answered his question with her own. The only one that mattered.

“Yes,” all three men spoke the word at once.

Ada was almost as amused as she was reassured by their uniform certainty.

“Tallah?”

Ada fixed her niece with a meaningful look. Tallah gave her a brave smile and a determined nod.

That kid. So much like her mother, Brenna. Ada's heart gave a little leap of pride that was mixed with melancholy and grief.

“Then yes, I'm sure,” she confirmed, “I can't just sit around and wait and do nothing, not when I can help. I have to do this.”

Ben considered her keenly. Ada wondered if he were using the Force to read her and whether it would even bother her if he was.

Tendrils of wild black hair drifted across his face in the breeze. She wanted to reach up and brush them out of his golden eyes so that she could see them better.

He nodded.

**********************************************************************

Ben glanced over at Ada who had fallen asleep in the Swift's copilot's chair. She would have looked wholly content if it weren't for the droplets of water still clinging to her long lashes, despite her slumber.

Ben knew that the choice had been a difficult and traumatic one. When she'd said farewell to Tallah, she'd embraced her neice so tightly and for so long, that at one point Ben thought he might have to intervene before the girl turned blue.

He allowed himself a small smile, remembering how Tallah had sprinted at him to say goodbye. He'd picked her up and she'd buried her face into his hair, whispering in his ear to look after her aunt. The Swift was quiet without her and he was surprised at how much he felt her absence.

He was both grateful and surprised that Ada had decided to accompany him. A co-pilot familiar with the territory of Wild Space would be invaluable, especially as they'd need to avoid the busier, well-travelled navigation routes.

Ben might be a skilled navigator and an excellent pilot, both talents heightened through his strong connection with the Force, but he'd spent very little time deep in Wild Space. The times he had ventured out that far, he'd really rather forget...

The meeting with Dameron and the ex-Stormtrooper, had gone better than Ben had expected. Still, as they'd all turned to depart, Dameron had caught his arm roughly and taken him to one side away from the others.

Ada had raised her eyebrows at Ben but she hadn't stopped, instead making her way back to the Swift alone. Ben was relieved. Ada had clearly sensed that it was important that he and Dameron hash out whatever unfinished business this was in private.

Ben had watched her retreat, her arms crossed and shoulders hunched slightly. Although it wasn't cold, he saw her pull the fawn shawl that was draped across her shoulders tighter around her. Ben could feel the worry and guilt coursing through her at the thought of leaving Tallah. Still, as ever, he sensed that steady and constant determination burning bright at the very core of her being.

Meanwhile, heading in the opposite direction and with only a passing quizzical glance at Dameron, Finn made his way back to their ship with Tallah in tow. He and the girl were chatting animatedly to each other and Ben felt a rush of gratitude towards the ex-Stormtrooper.

Ben had never forgotten his first encounter with FN-2187 in the village on Jakku. Even then, Kylo Ren had sensed that the Force was strong within him although untrained and undisciplined, perhaps even unnoticed by the Trooper. He suspected that FN-2187 had been relying on his heightened instincts for years - like a sixth sense – not realising that this was something more than feelings.

What had really alerted Ren to the Stormtrooper's presence that night his First Order Division had descended upon the tiny village to intercept Resistance intel and capture Dameron, had been FN-2187's refusal to follow the order to open fire on the villagers. This, despite knowing the possible consequences he could bring upon himself. Even Ren, his head swirling with ambition and fury had the insight to recognise that this was not an act of cowardice. It was an act of courage.

Finn was clearly a man strong of heart and generous of spirit. Ben understood now why Rey had valued his friendship so deeply.

“Look, I really want to believe that you've turned some corner,” Dameron had said when he was sure the others were out of earshot, “but if you're playing us, or her,” his eyes flicked to Ada's retreating back, “in any way, I will come for you.”

Dameron's tone was low and dangerous, and Ben could feel the sharp, hot edges of his temper rising. With effort, he pushed it back down. While Dameron's suspicion riled him, he knew he couldn't blame the pilot for his caution. In fact, it was one of the reasons he trusted the man so much.

They might not like each other, but Ben knew more than most about Poe Dameron.

After capturing Dameron that night three years ago on Jakku, Ren had tortured him for information, using the Force to break his way violently into the pilot's mind.

The more he delved into Dameron's head, the more infuriated Ren had become. Dameron was so sure of who he was. A man so able to accept the life he'd made for himself; the person he was. A man who celebrated his successes, mourned his failures and learned from these experiences, from his loves, his losses. All of it.

Even after getting the information he needed, Ren could not stop himself from probing Dameron's consciousness with a twisted sort of fascination. It brought into sharp, painful focus the limitless failings Ren knew resided within himself.

Ren's inability to face his own fears paralysed him. His hopeless fury at his own inadequacies left him unable to learn from them. And the Dark Side, ever present, compounding his potent desire for power had left him unable to change any of it.

Ren had looked into Poe Dameron's very soul and had found an individual of great conviction, loyalty and bravery. It was how Ben now knew there was no safer place in the Galaxy for Tallah.

Except maybe with Rey.

“I understand,” he had replied, simply.

Dameron had given Ben a strange, hard look before speaking next as if he were weighing up whether or not to tell him something.

“Go to Theod first – it's just another backwater moon right on the edge of the Outer Rim. I'll patch coordinates through to your ship. We have a listening outpost there looking out for any remnant First Order activity. They might have heard something.”

Dameron paused and cleared his throat.

“Chewbacca's there.”

Ben felt all the air leave his body, as if he'd been punched in the gut. His calm expression must have slipped because when he refocused on Dameron's face, he was surprised to see a glint of reluctant sympathy in the man's eyes.

“Look, he knows what you did on Exegol. And he knows you saved Rey... I just... I can't promise he'll be happy to see you,” Dameron offered awkwardly.

Ben nodded, hoping he'd regained some of his external composure.

“Thank you.”

As a parting gesture, Dameron slapped Ben on the shoulder, probably just a little harder than was strictly necessary. Then, he'd stalked off to his ship, leaving Ben alone, cutting a tall, solitary figure in the still forest clearing.

Now, as he sat in the pilot's chair on the Swift, he inhaled deeply, trying to remember and recapture the scent of pine and damp earth from that afternoon in hopes it would quiet his roiling thoughts. He desperately needed to recentre himself, to ground himself in the Force. His mind was in turmoil at the very thought of seeing Chewbacca.

The last time Ben had seen the Wookie had been the day he'd killed his own father. When he thought of Han Solo's death, he did not try to escape culpability by separating the actions of Kylo Ren from his own. Ben Solo had been agonisingly present on that metal gangway too, suspended high up above the mechanical insides of the First Order's Starkiller Base.

More than anything, Ben had wanted to take his father's proffered hand that day, to escape the hell of the First Order and of Snoke's iron rule and to go home to his family. His greatest shame, his greatest regret was that the moment the chance to turn back to the Light had presented itself he was just too weak to take it. Too weak to resist the seduction of Dark Side.

All the nightmares of his father's death were accompanied by the echo of Chewbacca's anguished roar as Kylo Ren finally ignited his crackling, red saber and sent the blade straight through Han Solo's body.

That howl from Chewbacca as he was forced to witness his best friend fall into the mechanical abyss below was seared into Ben's mind like the white hot pain from the crossbow bolt fired into his left flank soon after from the Wookie's weapon.

Ben had grown up knowing the Wookie as part of his family. “Uncle Chewie” had even taught him some Wookie fighting methods before Leia had sent the boy away to her brother to train as a Jedi. In fact, that was one of the reasons behind Ben's forward leaning fighting stance.

Wookies used their size and strength to their advantage in combat, and Ben had integrated that principle into his technique with a lightsaber. Luke had recognised this immediately and had always found this amusing. He'd never corrected Ben's form. It worked.

All of Ben's fond memories of the Wookie were sullied by his own reprehensible actions. He couldn't imagine a universe in which Chewbacca could forgive him, and he certainly could never forgive himself. To see the Wookie again would force him to relive the worst day of his life. He had no idea if he was strong enough to do so.

Still, Ben knew that if he wanted to track the Inquisitorius, he hadn't much of a choice. If there was even a slight possibility that Chewbacca held intel....

Not only had the sudden and brazen appearance of the Imperial Destroyer in the Mid Rim convinced Ben that the threat was even greater than he could have possibly even imagined, worse still, when the colossal vessel had dropped out of hyper space, his link with the Force had abruptly alerted him to the presence of not one Inquisitor, but three.

For a few seconds, Ben closed his eyes and buried his head in his hands, pushing his fingers through his hair and trying to clear his mind. He sat up and conducted a check on the Swift's flight and navigation settings. They were on course to make Theod in five hours at light speed. Hyperdrive looked fine, surprisingly.

It was no use sitting staring out at the stars whizzing by and ruminating, Ben decided. He would run some lightsaber drills instead in the hopes that physical exertion might quiet his racing mind.

Ada was still sleeping peacefully in the chair beside him and Ben didn't see the need to wake her. She could probably do with the rest. He noticed that her beige shawl had slipped off one shoulder and her pale skin beneath was starting to rise into little goosebumps.

Ben stood as quietly as he could, reaching over to Ada and pulling the wayward material back up over her shoulder. He crept through to the Swift's living area, returning a moment later with a woollen blanket which he draped gently over the sleeping woman. He allowed his eyes to linger on her face for a moment.

Force, she was beautiful.

He shook himself, not wanting her to wake up and find him standing over her like some idiot. He left her slumbering in her chair and padded silently out of the Swift's cockpit, through the living area, and down the arterial passageway to the storage room he used for training.

************************************************************************

Ada was pleasantly cosy. She was cocooned in a blanket and nestled in a surprisingly comfy high backed chair. As she slowly came to, she realised that must have fallen asleep in the cockpit of the Swift. Ben must have covered her with the blanket to keep her from getting cold.

The soft hum from Swift's engines was so soothing, it was almost impossible for Ada to even contemplate moving. But there was another noise, something above the gentle roar of the ship. A strange, low buzzing sound in the distance.

The Swift's copilot chair squeaked as Ada sat up with a jolt. Her thoughts were muddied with the confusion of sleep. She'd heard that sound before. That night on Bakura. The night the Inquisitor had come. A lightsaber. He couldn't be here. Could he? No.

Ben? It must be Ben.

Throwing the blanket around her shoulders, Ada tiptoed out of the cockpit and through the ship, following the oscillations until she came to the storage room on the main passage.

She pressed her ear against the cold metal, imagining Ben's movements within, blade in hand twirling, rising and falling to that steady, electric thrum and swish. She couldn't say why, but Ada thought it an entirely different sound to that which had emanated from the Inquisitor's weapon. Less abrasive. More melodic.

She pressed the green door chime button and it rang out with a pleasant trilling sound.

“It's open,” came Ben's slightly muffled voice from the other side.

Ada passed her hand over the entry controls and the door hissed open. Ben was standing in the middle of the room, lightsaber in hand, his breathing heightened slightly with exertion. He was wearing a loose long-sleeved black t-shirt. The v at his neck hung low and slightly squint, allowing Ada sight of that strange white scar that trailed down the right side of his face and past his collar bone. It was so faint it was almost non-existent. She wanted to trace her finger tips down it to make sure it was really there.

Around the edges of the room, durasteel crates and containers of different sizes sat at varying heights and angles against the walls, clearly put together as some kind of makeshift obstacle course.

“Are you coming in?” Ben asked, a spark of amusement in his eyes.

He thumbed a switch on the weapon's hilt and the blue blade retracted as Ada entered and the doors swished closed behind her.

“I don't want to interrupt, I was just …. curious.”

“I was just finishing up anyway.”

“Oh,” Ada tried to hide her disappointment.

It felt childish, but Ada had wanted to see. As a kid, she'd loved listening to her grandfather's stories of Jedi Knights, their daring exploits and their skill with their legendary blades. He'd been a boy during the very last days of the Republic. Before the scourge of the Empire. His mother had once taken him on a visit to see family on the vast city planet of Coruscant. He'd begged her to take him to see the Jedi Temple, and Ada remembered how reverently her Grandpa used to speak of his memories of standing outside the sacred, gargantuan building watching the mighty Jedi sweep past in their robes on important business, lightsabers clinking at their hips.

But apart from the Inquisitor's dual bladed nightmare, Ada had never seen a lightsaber. Not one carried by a Jedi at least. Then again, Ben had insisted that he wasn't a Jedi...

Ben secured his lightsabre to his belt, then went over to a small trunk in the far corner of the room. He took out two wooden training sabers and tossed one to Ada. She caught it easily and grinned at Ben, throwing her cloak of a blanket off and into a corner of the room with a dramatic flourish.

Ada's grandfather had fought in the Rebel Alliance against the Empire at the very height of its dominion. Inspired by his boyhood obsession with the Jedi, Grandpa had substituted a vibroblade for lack of a lightsaber in ground combat, rather than use a blaster. Whenever he visited, Ada begged him to give her lessons although she was only little and he was very old.

She tried to remember the basic stance Grandpa had taught her. Left foot forward, right foot back, weight distributed evenly. She held the grip with both hands, right above the left, and raised the hilt of the weapon to shoulder height.

“Perfect, just widen your grip a little.” Ben placed his own weapon on the floor and moved close behind Ada.

She bit her lip to suppress a gasp as his breath tickled her right ear. He readjusted the position of her hands beneath his own on the hilt of the weapon. In this way, Ben manoeuvred the weapon in Ada's hands so that she got a feeling for a high block, a low block and then a strike. They repeated these movements a few times until Ada had the flow and positioning right.

“Good,” Ben's voice was so low it was almost a whisper.

The single word reverberated through Ada, making her flush as she felt the stirrings of desire deep in the pit of her stomach. There was something intoxicating about his closeness to her. That heady scent of Endor pine wood again, pleasantly mixed with the heat of physical exertion. Their proximity, his chest pressed against her back and his large hands on hers meant that she could feel Ben's heartbeat pulsing through his whole body. It was beating a steady rhythm, but Ada was certain it was slightly elevated. She wondered if he could feel her own heart which was beating so wildly in her chest, she thought it might burst.

Ben disengaged from her, moving away to pick up his weapon and face her. Ada felt a flash of satisfaction to see that he did indeed look a little flustered. He disguised it with a crooked smirk, raising his weapon to strike the first blow.

He moved slowly and deliberately, allowing Ada to parry, parry, then strike. Then Ada moved towards him - strike, strike, parry – the same pattern in reverse.

They repeated this back and fore over and over again. Ada found she was able to pick it up with ease, her training as a child not so forgotten after all. She and Ben gained speed and momentum until they were going so fast and their movements were so ostentatious, so deliberately ridiculous that Ada couldn't help but burst out laughing. Ben joined her, folding at the waist.

He was more animated than Ada had ever seen him. It was the first time she'd seen him really and freely enjoying himself. Ever since they'd met, he'd been a mystery. A reserved but capable man with a mysterious, perhaps dangerous past. The way he'd showed no fear when the pirates had boarded the Swift or in the face of the violence and threats that followed. The way Tallah had described his ferociousness in combat with the Inquisitor. But the obvious truth Ada had learned about Ben was that he was clearly burdened with an overbearing and inescapable sadness.

It lifted Ada's heart to see this side of him. His amber eyes crinkled with mirth, cheeks dimpling as a grin stretched across his face, his long nose crumpling as he laughed.

“Ok, time to improvise,” Ben said, once they finally managed to get a grip of themselves.

Ben raised his training saber and Ada followed suit as they circled one another. Ben's strikes became more unpredictable as he started forcing Ada to block at odd angles. He began to land strikes on Ada's body.

She could tell he was being easy on her, going gentle. Still, she had to admit that he cut an imposing figure even with a training weapon and she was glad she didn't have to fight him for real.

Finally, determined to get back at him for the several stinging blows he'd inflicted on her, Ada used her smaller stature to her advantage. She deftly blocked an overhead attack from her opponent, quickly ducking and twirling under his arms and... Yes! She landed a strike on Ben with a satisfying thwack across his bottom and down the back of his right thigh.

He yelped and then laughed in delight at her success. Ada was almost certain he'd allowed her to land the blow, but she revelled her in her victory none the less, beaming from ear to ear.

“You've done this before,” he chucked, theatrically holding his backside and walking a little circle.

“A little,” she admitted, smirking, “My grandfather taught me some moves. It was a long time ago.”

Ada dropped down to the floor, cross-legged, pleasantly exhausted and satisfied with her little win. Ben sat down opposite her and they relaxed in comfortable silence while they caught their breath.

“So. Theod?” Ada asked, breaking the quiet as she suddenly remembered the brief conversation they'd had in the cockpit before she'd fallen asleep.

Ben nodded, “We're going to see a Wookie.”

“A Wookie?!” Ada exclaimed in delight.

“Yeah, well, this one's not going to be pleased to see me...”

“What? Why?”

Ben fixed her with a look that said she didn't want to know. Ada really, really did want to know, but she saw in Ben's eyes the encroaching shadow of that sadness and turmoil which seemed to simmer, always, within him. She suddenly found she had no desire to press him further. Not right now.

[eoin-mcgonigal]

Not to stalk you but I’ve absolutely been stalking you as I watched The Terror for the first time three months ago and am now deeply invested. And I adore Sol Tozer and after reading your headcanons about him, specifically him leaving the service with a head injury, I came to shout my own thoughts at you.

I always headcanoned that if Sol survived in canon he would have had seizures from the pistol whipping by Hickey. None of the other survivors would’ve been able to say for certain how long Sgt Tozer had been having these episodes of the falling sickness and it would ultimately save him from military punishment because, especially early on before he was able to get treatment from a doctor, he would be basically incapable of functioning because of the unpredictable nature of his fits. In a modern AU I think it would be very similar that he ended up with a head injury that caused seizures and he ends up isolating himself and struggling to re-enter the world due to the uncertainty and fear.

If you’re a Tommy Armitage enjoyer I imagine in canon all the gunfire so close to his head would have greatly impaired his already poor hearing and left him more or less deaf. He and Sol end up together trying to make it back in England with both of them struggling with their new limitations and the reputation of the failed expedition on their back.

anon. dear dear anon, you come into my house with these gorgeous thoughts?!!! i applaud u and i agree so much. sol with seizures and deaf tommy??? that's some good shit right there!!! both in canon and modern aus. (i am both an appreciator of both these characters btw!!!) [also thank u for enjoying my blog!!!]

sol is scared of entering into society because he can't control when the seizures happen, or what they do to him. if they make him zoom out, collapse or pass out, it's not up to him. he confesses this to tommy, who tells him that while he understands that fear, sol needs to let people in to help him. he explains it like this: as a deaf person in a hearing world, tommy is rarely in control of anything due to the hearing loss. people talk at or over him, and he struggles. but he's found strategies. people. they make it worth it. they make him feel like he has power and control in the midst of the chaos. sol has to find that too. he has to find control where he can and the rest of the time, let the chaos exist. chaos isn't dangerous. chaos just is. he'll find ways to wrestle it into submission.