#he gets to be a manwhore as a treat
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Brothel.
Or otherwise known as “you don fucked up narinder”
Got some inspiration from my friend @featherrarts ! I looove the way they draw their Narinder and the droopy clothes!
#cotl#cult of the lamb#aychama#royal au#cotl narinder#Narinder#the one who waits#I used an old man as reference for this lmao#come back to me motivation to draw#come baaaaaack#smoking#he gets to be a manwhore as a treat
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🎾 - #LOVE ON THE FLOOR !!
cw: unrealistic public sex on a tennis court 💀 (it’s nighttime and no one else is there), college era, afab reader, gross friends to lovers, strip tennis, soft dom!art x inexperienced!reader, vaginal fingering + titfucking + brief analingus (afab reader receiving), implied (soft) obsession & toxicity like art would marry you tomorrow, teasing (towards reader), nipple sucking (m receiving), art putting in overtime to hit on oblivious!reader, reader is so comically unaware pls just roll with it and suspend your disbelief, mandatory Patrick™️ mention, 3.5k of pure need, art’s so horny in this like 😔 (+subtle implications of him either being a manwhore or a porn addict, as a little treat), lowkey canon typical mind games, unedited
this was requested by a bot looking blog that i had to block but the idea still slapped! combined with an ask for inexperienced reader
Art Donaldson sees your instagram story that’s only a repost of a Ethel Cain song and tries not to click his heels together. It’s not like he’s happy you’re clearly going through something, but if the story is a result of what he thinks it’s a result of… then he’ll comfort you through it however he can. With his words, his tongue, babying you in the bath and washing your hair, etc. Just getting to be intimate with you at all is an opportunity he’d never turn down.
Suddenly you’re bursting into Art’s dorm like a bat out of hell, tears dotting your waterline and lower lip wobbling. His heart lurches and leaps in equal measures, his backwards cap feels like it constricts around his head as he resists the urge to fidget with it.
“He… he didn’t show up!”
Art shoots up and gets off his bed, rushing to you and rubbing his hands up and down your arms, “What are you talking about?”
He gives you a lingering hug and passes you some of your favorite fast food that he always keeps in the little fridge in his dorm. Somehow knowing that it’d be just what the doctor ordered, you’re so lucky to have such a caring friend. You two haven’t left each other’s side since you bumped him on the first day of class, bringing a clice to life by spilling your coffee all over his polo. Sometimes you still lie awake at night and cringe at yourself, trying to assure yourself that he’s stuck around your awkward ass for a reason.
You’re hiccuping through your story while munching on your chicken sandwich, “Mark acted so exicted yesterday, and now he’s stood me up. I waited in front of the café for an hour, people were staring…”
Art eyes you from his position on the bed, crowding against you due to the size and having half of his torso glued to your back. He doesn’t giggle at the adorable way you get frustrated when the pickle in your sandwich always slides out in between your teeth during a bite, but he thought about it! He reaches up and brushes his fingers against your hair, wanting to just touch it more than move it.
“I don’t know what to tell you, he’s an idiot and you’ll move on. It’s not like he’s the only person in the world.” He grumbles, not quite pouting as he hooks his chin on your shoulder.
“Okay now you’re just grumpy because I beat you at uno.” You tease, gesturing to the scattered pile of brightly colored cards on the bed.
He’s definitely made you feel better though, he always does. You both finish your food and Art stands up from the bed to grab his tennis bag. He pulls you up too and winks, saying that you can’t beat him at everything. You ask what he’s doing and he only grins, telling you to come with him. You nervously glance around as you’re pulled to race through the halls to the court. There’s a simmering feeling weaving in and out of your tightly intertwined fingers.
divider
Art lets go of your hand to drop his bag on the ground, leaving your palm feeling strangely cold without his warmth.
You’re still not sure you should even be out here, you know that you’re definitely not allowed but Art seems to sense your hesitation because he rushes towards you and cups your hands in his.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re not gonna get in trouble or anything, y’know that?” He chuckles, gently knocking the tip of his nose against yours. “Look up for me, the moon’s really pretty tonight.”
You follow his lead and tilt your head back to gaze up at the goregous crescent moon high in the oil colored sky. You don’t notice that he’s looking at you instead, that he doesn’t say that the moon reminds him of you but he feels like the one orbiting around you instead of the other way around. Luckily there’s not a cloud in sight, just a floating city of stars with a glowing center. Art lightly pulls on your wrists, clearly wanting your attention back on him, so you comply.
You’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but you don’t miss the odd glint in his eyes as he narrows them slightly.
His eyelids crinkle as he smiles charmingly, “Don’t you trust me?”
You answer with your heart, “Yes, of course I do.”
He beams at you and explains the rule of the game he dragged you all the way out here to play. It’s just like a regular game of tennis so you really shouldn’t sweat it, he says. His expression shifts when he makes a show out of being unable to look you in the eye when he tells you the special rules, knowing full well you can see him try to tamper down a self satisfied laugh. Whoever scores gets to pick whatever piece of clothing the other takes off, and the loser of the game has to get completely naked if they aren’t already.
Your cheeks warm and you gawk at him, “Isn’t it weird that you’ll see me… like that?”
“So you already know you’re gonna lose, huh? And it’s not like i haven’t seen most of it before.” Art laughs, not bothering to hide the blush on his face. “You’ve seen all of me, anyway.”
It’s true, you usually laze around in nothing but your underwear and that’s been the norm for you two. Art’s no different, he’ll change in front of you and will literally walk around butt naked around your dorm. More often than not, he’ll answer the door in only a towel around his waist and sitting on his hip bones, no matter if it’s one of your other friends or a project partner. You're constantly having to text the other because you forgot that you left your toothbrush behind. You’ve never had a chance to be embarrassed by it. It’s been like that for the longest time and anytime you’ll tell Art that your friends keep asking if he’s your boyfriend, he’ll just reassure you that you guys are just really close. And isn’t that a good thing?
“Besides, I think this’ll help get you out of your shell.”
You’re embarrassed at the reminder of how inexperienced you are. Sure, you shouldn’t have a whole thing about it or whatever, but it just is kind of alienating from other people your age to not be able to say you’ve done what they’ve done. And you would’ve been able to have some stories of your own if you could manage to hold down a date. But tonight isn’t supposed to be about you wallowing, you’re supposed to be having fun. Even if the sight of your best friend in tight fitting sporty clothes makes your pussy throb.
divider
You giggle nervously when he comes up behind you and wraps his arms around you, swaying you from side to side before moving his grip up to your arms.
“Relax, i’m just checking your form. Being close to you is just a bonus.” He winks and presses his stomach up against your back.
It’s so cheesy, the situation and the pose. But you lean into his touch and pretend to care about how he’s showing you the right way to hold a racket and all that, he doesn’t even really care if he’s being honest. It’s romantic though, and he can’t resist the opportunity to get a taste of what it’d be like to pin your body down with his weight. He guides you through a few “practice” swings and then throws a two finger salute at you as he jogs around the net to his side of the court.
It’s your serve, and despite you being very much a beginner, you get the first point.
Art stands there expectantly, cocking his head to the side and bouncing on his heels in anticipation. You honestly didn’t consider that you’d actually be telling your best friend to take off his clothes for you, but you’re new thing is taking shit in stride, you guess.
“So, what’s it gonna be?” He shouts and hovers his fingers around the collar of his polo, ready for you to say the word.
You take the coward’s way out, “Your shoes.”
Art frowns but obeys the rules, swiftly unlacing his sneakers and tossing them to the side. The court’s not so rough that it’d be hell on his feet, but he’d do it for you even if it was all a bunch of jagged rocks cobbled together. The game goes on with Art scoring the next point, and then the one after that. He has you discard your necklace, one of those cheesy half heart ones that matches with one he has, and your shoes as well. He doesn’t wanna scare you off, but he knows what he wants to have you take off for him.
You score the next time, down goes his pants. Without them, few things are left to the imagination. Every time he’d walk around you naked you’d always keep your face firmly glued to your phone or something. But being faced with the very… detailed outline of his bulge through his underwear, that’s another thing entirely. It looks so long against his thigh it might as well be a third leg. There’s already a little wet spot where the tip must be.
You must’ve been taking too long to ogle him, because Art yells at you to “Focus on the game, yeah?”
You’re lucky it’s not a cold night when he gets the next point and has you take off your pants, which are really just glorified shorts. You unfasten them and shimmy them down your legs, letting them pool around your ankles and kicking them away from you. You haven’t shaved today, but you know that Art doesn’t care about that sort of thing. He’s made sure to tell you as much many times when you complain about how much your back hurts after you get done with it.
Art takes his sweet time dragging his gaze down your legs, already imagining bringing them around his waist or over his shoulders. Your panties are so cute too, cupping your pussy so closely that he can see the shapes of your puffy lips from all the way on the other side of the court, a “camel toe” or whatever you call it. He thinks it’s so hot, but you’re shy about it, asking him to see how you look in jeans that are a size too small. He always does a thorough inspection.
Whoever scores next wins the game, and you’re too busy trying not to fall on your ass to put any effort into it. It’s not a real game away, and besides, it’s not like anything has to happen when the loser completely undresses. Out of the corner of your eye you see Art’s dick twitch in his briefs and you get so distracted that you freeze and miss the neon yellow-green ball hurtling past you. Art whoops and cheers as you process the fact that you lost.
“You know what that means.” Art grins from ear to ear. “Make a show out of it for me.”
divider
You don’t even mind the staring, it’s such a common thing that you’d be more pissed off if he wasn’t looking at you at all. The way his eyes devour every inch of bare skin and drop of sweat that you earned during the game. You pull your tank top up and over your head, leaving you in just your bra and panties. Your bra isn’t a frilly thing, you wear it mainly for support, but Art can’t seem to tear himself away from the view of your pushed up tits rising and falling as you breathe.
You…. don’t know what to do now, the big appeal of the game is over, you awkwardly laugh it off and bend over to pick up your clothes. Art shakes his head to snap himself out of his horny fever dream and races over to you, latching onto your wrist and stopping you from getting dressed again.
“You’re supposed to take it all off, remember?”
You drop your clothes, noticing that he still doesn’t let you go.
Heats fills your cheeks as he steps closer, delicately sliding his fingertips up the inside of your arm and around your back. He plays with the hook of your bra, gazing down at you with a look full to brim with unknown intent and purpose. He doesn’t do something as bold as unlatching it right out the gate, no, he just stares into your soul.
“I remember.” Your eyes drop down to his lips, and that’s when you know it’s over. “Can’t exactly do it myself if you’ve already got one foot in the door.”
You’ve gotta know when to fold ‘em, and all that.
Art softly smiles and loops his fingers under your bra strap. You have to remind yourself to breathe, but you don’t really get much of a chance to. Before you can stop yourself and think with your head, you’re canting up to press your lips to his. Art immediately kisses you back, chuckling into the kiss when you gasp as he expertly unhooks your bra with one hand.
In the blink of an eye, you’re flat on your back on the court, Art having hastily thrown his shirt under you while you were tangling your tongues together. He presses an array of wet open mouthed kisses down your body, paying extra special attention to the trimmed patch of hair at the top of your mound.
“Smells so good, ‘s cute, too. It figures you’d have the prettiest pussy I've ever seen.” He coos, dragging a lone finger down your slit before gently pushing it inside.
You gasp, wrenching your eyes shut tight at the intrusion. He takes good care of you, slowly sinking his finger in to the knuckle and sliding it in and out of you. He gradually adds more fingers as the minutes pass. Your walls throb around him, and if Art were a weaker man (like the guy you almost went out with) he would’ve said fuck it and plunged his dick into your cunt in one smooth stroke. But you deserve the best first time possible, and all the distractions he’s used have helped him be patient enough to refrain from humping you like a dog.
“You’re okay, you can take it. It’s nothing compared to what this pussy’s going to be taking later anyway, baby.” He hums and nuzzles his nose into where your inner thigh meets your mound.
As he’s languidly thrusting his fingers into your puffy pussy, Art strains his neck to lap at your ass. He holds one of your fat cheeks in his free hand and spreads you open, diving in to suck on the puckered hole between them. He sharpens his tongue and jabs it into your ass, his cock throbs when you let out the sweetest little squeals at the squelching and throaty noises he’s making. He can feel your hole unfurling with every slurp and suck, something that only makes him increase the speed of his long fingers in your pussy, maintaining a breathtaking steady rhythm.
Eventually his poor leaking cock can’t take anymore grinding into the ground, so Art crooks his fingers and (albeit a bit cruelly) jams them into your sweet spot. The velvet grip of your pussy strangles his digits like a dream, you’d take dick so beautifully. Your eyes fly open and your throat spasms around a mangled moan. He pulls his fingers out of your soaking wet pussy, smirking up at you as he sucks them try like a professionally trained whore. Your clit receives a loving kitten lick as an apology for neglecting it, and with that Art hovers over you at an even eye to eye level again.
“Holy shit…” You pant and flick his pebbled nipples, absentmindedly rolling them around with your thumb. “Are we really doing this?”
“Yeah, we are.” Art sighs, his head falls back as you duck down to suck his nipples into your mouth, the saliva you lathered them with dripping down your chin. He grabs the back of your head and pushes your face into his chest, arching his back.
“Relax, I bribed security and told them to fuck off for the night.”
That doesn’t concern you as much as it should, you’re too transfixed on Art wrenching your mouth off of his pecs and moving to straddle your chest.
“Can you push them together for me?” He breathes hard and grinds his weeping cock against your tits, mesmerized by how his precum makes your skin glisten.
“Oh, fuck.” He groans when you do, making quick use out of the delicious new friction the little pocket provides. “Thanks, honey.”
You keep staring at the tip of his dick, loving the little peek you get of it as he fucks your tits and it pokes your chin. You don’t even realize you’re doing it but you let your mouth hang open, angling your head down so his cockhead pecks your tongue at the end of every thrust. You make sure to lick every drop of pre cum away as it oozes out of him, looking so nice against the flushed pink skin of his tip. Art groans when he finally summons the strength to watch you do it, the sight hurtling him over the edge before he has the time or vocal ability to warn you.
His thick load jets out to land all over your tits, half of it on the lower half of your face. You’re almost sad it didn’t get high enough to clump your lashes together, it would’ve made for the perfect contact picture. Oh well, maybe next time. It’s amazing, the switch you’ve made from the shy friend to the writhing slut underneath him. You blame it on the honest to God sweet taste of his milky white cum, surprisingly making you think of the pineapples he always snatches from your plate when you eat at school together.
(Another painstaking effort made just for you, love)
It’s a miracle you get back to his dorm, some of your clothes are swapped and put on incorrectly and you both didn’t clean up at all. As soon as you reach the door, Art practically shoves you inside and onto the bed. He gets so frustrated with having to get your clothes off again that he just rips them right off of you, promising to take you to the mall tomorrow (or whenever he lets you leave the bed) to buy replacements. You literally couldn't care less if he shackles you to the wall, you need him to rearrange your guts so badly, you’d kill for it. Should you be having deep conversations about your feelings and what the future will look like? Absolutely, but your clit is clouding your sense of rationality and you don’t mind that right now.
“Do you even know how much i’ve wanted this? To fuck you so hard that we end up attached at the hip?” He bites, breaking away from your lips to suck bruises down the column of your throat. “We can have a baby- please have my baby, fuck!”
There’s something so weirdly romantic about the leftover scent of the court combined with the twinkling stars outside. Art’s moans and hands scrambling to pin you down so all you have to do is take it, you’re doing things all out of order, but this was always going to happen sooner or later. Art is a clumsy manipulator but he’s so handsome… you find yourself agreeing to every frantic declaration flying out of his mouth as he spears his long cock into your sopping wet pussy. You claw red lines into his shoulders and back, and Art nearly creams on the spot. The sting and the fact that you’re so out of it, you’re marking him up, are crossing the wires in his brain. His taut thighs burn with the effort of fucking you so far into the mattress.
You’ll get to cum four more times than he does, and by the end of it you’ll wish you never came at all. Your soul’s goikg to be so far away from your ruined mess of limbs that you won’t notice the sacred promises being muttered into your sweaty hair or pay attention to your phone being out on Do Not Disturb. You’ll be right where you should be, inevitably molded around the shape of his dick and branded by all the love bites that litter your body. You’ll think you passed out during most of them, but you’ll give him a loopy smile, hook your pinky around his, and let yourself melt away.
It feels as if your walls are still clenching around a dick that’s no longer buried to the hilt in them.
“I love you”’s are for early mornings with coffee and pancakes. Gloating to Patrick will be for hours before then, Art blocking him when you’re deep asleep and unable to mend the growing rift between them.
#sorry i made another fictional man weird 😔#art donaldson smut#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson#challengers x reader#challengers#challengers fanfiction#challengers smut#challengers fic#challengers film#challengers movie#challengers 2024#challengers x you#art donaldson x you#art donaldson challengers#mike faist x you#mike faist x reader#mike faist smut#mike faist#mike faist challengers#⚰️.deaddove#challengers imagine#art donaldson fic#art donaldson imagine
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for the hope of it all | part one
part two
pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, choi soobin x you
summary: you've been in love with beomgyu since the first time you saw him, but he sees you as nothing more than a good friend and faithful wingwoman. when he asks you to help him catch another girl, who just so happens to be one of your closest friends, things get complicated.
genre: ANGST, melodrama, romance, smut (mdni)
warnings: super rushed to meet a deadline, not proofread, smut (mdni), beomgyu is a fucking asshole, manipulative!gyu, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering (vaginal), dirty talk, praise, if i missed anything lmk!
word count: 7.2k
notes: whew... i couldn't just post a fic based on a song called AUGUST after august ends (even tho there's only a few minutes left where i am idccc) anyway this isn't the best thing in the world but i still ask that u all don't be mean to me <3 feedback is appreciated n loved as well :)
beomgyu really likes her — like, really— and who can blame him? you certainly can’t. chaewon is a lovely, lovely girl, so it should come as no surprise when beomgyu asks you to, in his words, help him bag her. you’re not one with a particularly strong character at the best of times, so when he practically begs you to convince one of your closest friends that he’s actually not the heartbreaking manwhore he definitely is, you can’t find it in yourself to say no.
it doesn't help that he has enough charisma to charm even the most indifferent target he sets his eyes on, it doesn't help that he's so handsome it makes everyone either want him or want to be him, and it most certainly doesn't help that you've been in love with the boy for the entire time that you've known him. him asking absolutely anything of you would result in you relenting, so when he asks for something as seemingly inconsequential as setting him up with a mutual friend, accepting it is a matter of course. does it hurt your heart to see him pining after someone else when you basically consider him as your soulmate? of course. but his happiness means more to you than your own. if she makes him happy, then so be it.
that's what you tell yourself, at least.
-
beomgyu doesn’t know that you love him — he can’t possibly know — or else he’d treat you differently, right? you don’t want that. you don’t want anything to change, at least not in the disastrous way you anticipate confessing your love to him would go, so you’ve kept your feelings close to your chest to keep him from suspecting anything. you think you’ve gotten pretty good at concealing your feelings. for example, you laugh when he tells you about his sexual escapades, and you don’t hesitate to give him advice on how to woo the girls who are wary of his lasciviousness. you only want to show him the good parts of you, carefully tucking any ugly seeds of jealousy or sadness away from his prying eyes.
the thing is, though, beomgyu is not stupid; and to your never-ending misery, you are not the greatest actress. he can see the crestfallen look on your face for the split second before you can contort your features into a smile. he can hear the tremble in your voice as you force out a laugh. with his godforsaken intuition, he can sense the hesitation in your movement when you playfully push him aside as he over-dramatically recounts his latest raunchy fuck.
all of this has no discernible consequence, though. if anything, your feelings have been his faithful friend and ally when it comes to conspiring with you to land whatever girl piques his interest at the moment. you may not be a prospective partner, but you are a great wingwoman, he’ll give you that much. and that’s exactly what he needs when dealing with chaewon, who has proven to be a particularly tough nut to crack. he doesn’t usually go for people he would consider friends, if only because he doesn’t like dealing with the messy aftermath, but her refusal to look his way is just too entertaining. he has no earthly idea why this cat and mouse game intrigues him the way it does, but he’s hooked like none other, especially because her reasons for pulling away when she’s definitely as attracted to him as he is to her are unclear. maybe she just doesn’t want to seem easy? whatever it is, he likes it. he likes her.
-
“so what's the plan?” soobin asks.
“what do you mean?” you blink as you turn towards him, effectively taken out of your daze. you've been staring at a new instagram picture of beomgyu for at least ten minutes now. there's not much going on in it — it's just a candid taehyun took of him — but you can't stop the yearning you feel in your heart as you wish you had been the one to take it, instead.
“i mean, what's your big plan to ‘help’ him this time?” there’s a trace of resentment in his tone as he puts air quotes around “help”. you know he thinks you're just wasting your time on a boy who will never feel the same way you do, but what can you do? you still love him.
“i’m… i’m just going to talk him up to chae, no big deal,” you say rather unconvincingly, because it is a big deal. it’s the biggest deal in the world to you.
“and what are you gonna say? ‘hey, i know you know beomgyu is garbage, but deep down, he’s actually not garbage even though, even deeper down, he really is?’” his words are sarcastic and, for lack of a better term, downright hateful.
“he’s not garbage, binnie,” you chastise. “he’s actually really sweet once you get to know him.”
“sweet? sweet how, exactly?” he sneers. you just sigh and shake your head. beomgyu is a frequent point of contention in your friendship with soobin, but you don’t know how to overcome it. mostly, arguments surrounding him devolve into conversations like the one you’re having right now.
“he puts on a tough act, but he’s not really like that on the inside,” you insist. “you just don’t know him like i do.”
“and thank god for that,” he snorts, and you frown. you can tell he feels guilty by the way his expression immediately softens.
“hey, i’m sorry,” he says, tucking your hair behind your ear. “i just don’t like to see you hurting.”
“i’m not hurting,” you lie. “i’m totally fine. it’s just… i just want to see him happy.” you actually do mean that last part. beomgyu, though seemingly carefree, is actually a lot more insecure and sensitive than one might think. you know this because he’s shown you that side of him many, many times, which must mean that he trusts you like no one else. you are honored to be the one he feels comfortable with, and even if it never amounts to anything more than that, you’re thankful you get to see how he really is.
“and you think being with a new girl every week will make him happy?” he softly asks, no edge to his voice, but his words hurt even more than they did before.
“it's different this time, binnie. i'm serious. i've never seen him like this before. i think he really likes her.” and the words almost kill you to say, but you mean them, anyway.
“okay,” he relents. “just do what you want to do. i’ll be there for you no matter what.”
“thank you,” you reply with a small smile, before putting your nose back into your phone and staring at beomgyu’s pictures again. you don’t catch it, but soobin sighs as he watches you.
-
you’ve been trying really, really hard. usually, all you have to do is talk about good points about beomgyu, and women fall for it hook, line, and sinker. chaewon is not most women, though, and she makes that abundantly clear with the polite smiles and airy laughs she gives you when you try to bring up beomgyu.
you don't get it. if you had beomgyu’s attention, you’d never let it go, so it makes no sense to you how someone could have it without taking the opportunity to seize it. if it were you, you’d seize it. if it were you, you'd tell him you’ve loved him since the first time you saw him. if it were you — well, it doesn't really matter, does it? because it isn't you. still, you can’t help but dream.
the sentiment that it will never be you becomes clearer and clearer as you watch beomgyu try to initiate conversation with chaewon at his very own house party you are currently attending. you watch from the sidelines as they sit uncomfortably close together, legs flush against one another, as beomgyu wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her in to whisper in her ear. you like to think you’re content with him being with her even if it means you’ll be without him, but it’s difficult to feel that way when you actually see it playing out before you. your heart feels like stone weighing heavily in your chest as she giggles at whatever he says, and you think that things might start looking up for him before her smile suddenly melts into a little frown.
without warning, she pries his arm off of her and gives him a perfunctory smile before standing up and smoothing out her skirt. then, she grabs her drink from the coffee table and he's left alone. his previously delighted expression is now filled with irritation and disappointment. you're still staring at him, just trying to get a read on the situation as you're left reeling, and before you know it, he's looking up at you. you're a little embarrassed at being caught, but you realize you can play your intrigue off as objectively analyzing the situation in order to help him better. surely he’ll fall for that, right? every time you say something similar, he buys it with no further questions.
he makes eye contact with you then nods towards his room as a silent plea to talk to him in private. if someone were to ask you how you’re able to deduce all of that from one look alone, you’d probably say it’s because you know beomgyu like the back of your hand — and maybe you do, but it’s like a subconsciously trained reaction more than anything. just as you know what beomgyu will do next, he knows you’ll understand his seemingly innocuous gestures.
you head up the stairs and beomgyu shuts his bedroom door behind you. you prepare to launch into your readymade explanation as to why you were rubbernecking earlier, but he speaks before you can say anything at all.
“why isn’t it working?” he huffs. “did you talk to her like i asked you to?”
“yes, of course i did!” you eagerly insist. you would never lie to beomgyu — well, not about this, at least. your secret feelings are another story.
“then why does she keep rejecting me?” he huffs. you wish you could answer him. truly, you do. you scramble for the right words, but you sincerely can't wrap your head around her logic, or lack thereof.
he’s still waiting for an answer, though, so you think back to the recent conversations you’ve had with soobin, and you realize there’s only one plausible conclusion.
“she just doesn’t know you enough, beoms. if she knew how you really are and how much you like her, she wouldn't act this way; but honestly, she probably thinks you’re just messing with her,” you explain, and you hope beyond hope that he doesn’t take it the wrong way. you don’t want to hurt his feelings by suggesting that his (newly) former playboy ways could be ruining his chances with her.
beomgyu’s feelings, of course, are not hurt. in fact, he just feels more annoyed than anything else. it’s really fucking irritating how he can’t seem to get a read on her or her intentions. she likes him, he can definitely tell, so what’s the problem with him having a messy past? it’s clear that it doesn’t bother you. well, it does, but in a different way. you’d forgive his previous transgressions in a heartbeat if it meant that he’d look your way, so why can’t she be the same? but then, he supposes that comparing someone as lovesick as you are to a normal girl is a bit unfair.
but why are you so lovesick? it’s obvious that he’s handsome and funny, so falling for him is only natural, but your devotion is on another level. not only that, but you’re devoted in spite of the fact that he clearly wants nothing to do with you. in all honesty, it’s almost like you love him even more when you see him chasing after somebody else... then suddenly, the solution is clear. he has to make her think he doesn’t want her; and the easiest way to do that is to pretend he’s interested in someone else. in the same vein, who better else to pretend with than one of chaewon’s closest friends? you’re absolutely perfect for the job.
beomgyu’s demeanor goes from irritated to self-satisfied, and it puzzles you to no end. maybe he figured out a way to show his true feelings for her? but then why is he looking at you with such intensity? he’s never looked at you this way in the many years that you’ve known him. wait, did he realize something? please, god, don’t let that be the case. you really don’t think you can —
and your train of thought is stopped when beomgyu strides over to you and locks the door behind you. you look up at him with confusion in your eyes before you finally register what that intense gaze of his really is: predatory.
suddenly, his lips are on yours and you’re holding back a squeal. your eyes widen as he cups his big hands around your cheeks and pulls you in even closer. he tastes like alcohol, which is to be expected, but there's a certain uniqueness to his taste that you can't really put into words; and you’re able to taste it even more as his tongue enters your mouth. you groan at the action, and surprisingly, he does, too.
you always assumed kissing beomgyu would make you feel like everything was finally right in the world, and it does — it really, sincerely does — but there’s also a certain spark you were not anticipating. something a lot more fiery, and it shoots straight to your core as your tongues tangle together lasciviously. beomgyu seems to know this, and he smirks into the kiss before trailing his warm mouth down your neck. you gasp at the sensation, which just makes him laugh.
his hands have traveled from your cheeks to your chest, one staying there to grab at your tits while the other one carelessly finds its way up your skirt.
“so wet,” he whispers in awe when he rubs his fingers against your soaked panties. “is this all because of me?” you feel your cheeks warm and you’re stammering out your next words.
“w-well, i —”
“is this all because of me?” he repeats, and you give him a feeble nod before covering your face in shame.
“cute,” he snickers, and your previously warm cheeks are now scorching to the touch.
he moves your panties to the side and rubs against your sensitive clit, which sends pulsations through your entire body, but that’s nothing in comparison to how you feel when he presses a finger into your dripping hole.
“you’re so tight,” he whispers, lust clearly written all over his face at the prospect of being in your pussy relatively soon; but he wants to enjoy this, he wants to enjoy the way your face screws up as he presses his finger so deep, he’s hitting places previously untouched. he slowly pulls it out, grazing your most sensitive spot with ease before adding another digit in, making you almost groan from the stretch. you bite your lip to avoid making such a sound, but beomgyu pays your attempted discretion no mind as he starts to hammer his fingers into you at a brutal pace.
it doesn’t take long for you to come undone around his skilled fingers, and once you’re done pulsating around him, he takes them out for a taste.
“so good,” he remarks, and though your breathing is heavy and your eyes are hazy, you still have it in you to feel embarrassed. he takes your smaller hand in his and leads you to his messy bed, carelessly sweeping every loose item — a t-shirt here, an old cd there — off of it in one go. he lays you down and hungrily licks his lips once he strips you down until you’re fully unclothed.
you’re feeling extremely small in this moment. you know beomgyu has had his pick of the litter when it comes to women, so you can’t help but wonder how you fare in comparison to the literal bombshells he’s been known to take home. mostly, though, you wonder how you compare to chaewon, as awful as that sounds. if you really think about it, there’s no comparison to be made, really. she’s her, and you’re you. what else is there to say, honestly? still, you’re comforted by the thought that you are the one underneath him right now, not her, and he does not seem disappointed in the slightest if the tent in his jeans means anything at all.
before you can think too much about it, he’s practically tearing his shirt off and you can’t help but stare. his torso is lean and a little paler than the rest of him, probably due to the lack of sun. objectively speaking, he’s no greek god or anything similar, but to you, he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. if he notices your awed reaction, he doesn’t say anything or really care, because he is simply too busy studying how perfect you seem to look under his dimmed lights. again, he is delighted at the prospect of being inside of you very soon.
he unzips his jeans and slides them, along with his boxers, off of his slim thighs and you can finally see him completely. his cock is a red so deep it’s nearly purple, with evidence of his lust leaking out of its flared tip. you’ve heard a lot about beomgyu’s physique from stories, his and his hookups’ alike, but nothing prepared you for the real thing. you’re not a virgin or anything, but you’re still unsure of how you’re meant to fit him inside of you. and you have no idea how you’re supposed to approach the subject.
beomgyu does not seem to understand your internal battle, though, because he wastes no time in lining himself up with your entrance. before he pushes in, though, he drags his cock along your soaking wet seam just to coat himself in your slick. when he feels he can’t take any more of his own teasing, he begins to push in.
“j-jesus christ!” he exclaims as he tries to push his tip through your entrance. “are you a virgin or some shit?”
“nngh — n-no! i-i’m not. i’ve — mmh — i’ve had boyfriends before,” you say as best as you can while dealing with the feeling of him literally fucking you open. you’re worried he’s not enjoying himself in light of his outburst and his decidedly strained expression.
“god, s-so tight,” he drawls. “feels so goddamn good.” he draws his hips back before pushing in again, further this time, and his words of praise seem to comfort you somehow, because he’s able to sheathe himself completely in you.
he groans when he feels your gummy walls wildly contracting around him — unsure of what to do with the pleasurable intrusion and working tirelessly to simultaneously push him out and pull him in. you, on the other hand, feel nothing but full. you’re so full you ache, so after a few moments of adjusting, your watery eyes are filled with an insatiable sense of pleading.
“you okay?” he asks, actually somewhat sweetly.
“y-yes — ah — i just feel w-weird,” you say. “feel so — fuck — full.” your seemingly innocent words drive him to the brink of insanity, so with reddened eyes, he grabs your hips so hard, you know he’ll leave marks in his wake, and without warning he begins drilling into you.
his thrusts are not calculated or intentional in any sense — they’re rough and fast and show his desperation. why he’s so desperate, he has no idea. beomgyu is sleazy even on a good day, so women come a dime a dozen, but he feels an unquenchable need he feels will only be satisfied if he continues to fuck you like a man gone mad. so he does.
your breasts bounce with every thrust and while he wants to grab one, his thirst only makes him want to go even deeper in you, so he employs his hands to manhandling you into a mating press. the new position has him going even deeper, and you can feel him hitting your cervix with each nasty snap of his hips. tears at the sheer feeling of being overwhelmed spring in your eyes and you have to clamp your hand over your lips to keep from crying out.
“let me hear you,” he pleads while gently moving your hand from your mouth and not-so-gently fucking you like a breeding whore, and he’s not sure if he’s saying it because he wants to make sure chaewon hears or just because he desperately wants to hear you for himself.
“fuck!” you exclaim, tears flowing freely down your cheeks. “s-so big!”
“oh, sweetheart,” he rambles, “who were you fucking before? they didn’t deserve this tight little pussy. they didn’t fuck you like you deserve to be fucked — like a good little whore.”
“‘m n-not a whore,” you tearily insist, somehow convinced that he means his words. you’re not completely inexperienced, but you’re not a whore, right?
but your innocence only makes him wanna ruin you more, claim you completely.
“you’re taking cock so well, but you wanna tell me you’re not a whore?” he snickers meanly, and you feel so delirious, you find yourself agreeing with what he says.
the lewd sounds of skin meeting skin and the sharp knocking of the headboard fill the room, and the heat you feel building up inside of you has you seeing stars. beomgyu pulls you in for a sloppy, wet kiss as he finally lets one of your legs down in order to snake his hand against your clit, which he languidly rolls in the midst of his pistoning in and out of you.
“are you gonna come for me?” he asks as his lips part from yours. “are you gonna come all over my cock?”
“y-yes, please,” you sob. “wanna come!”
“then do it, baby. let go for me,” and with the way he’s rolling your clit while fucking into you, you can’t help but comply.
he hisses when he feels you contracting around him, tightening up even more than before and pulling him in impossibly deeper. that’s all it takes, really, before he comes undone himself and sprays his thick, hot load into your spasming pussy.
he collapses on top of you, and both of you take a few moments just to catch your breath before he pulls out of you with a wince. he’s absolutely enthralled by the way the mix of both of you two’s cum leaks out of you as soon as he does so. he’s almost tempted to swirl it back in and plug you up, but his rational side stops him before he can do anything he’ll regret.
“are you on the pill?” he asks, and you nod.
“good, go ahead and get a plan b, too. just in case,” he says with a quick kiss to your forehead, and you nod with a delirious smile even in spite of his pedantic words. you’re just so happy you got to sleep with him, be closer to him.
“oh, i almost forgot to actually tell you,” he laughs. “i think fucking you will make chaewon jealous. i think we put on a pretty good show tonight, don’t you?”
and your heart and your hope and your dignity shatter like nothing else.
“y-yeah,” you try to reply with a laugh, but it sounds more forced than anything else you’ve ever heard in your life. “it was a really good show.”
-
“you slept with him?!” soobin asks, and he seems beyond frustrated. if you had the guts to look him in his eyes, though, you’d notice just how much hurt is in them.
“y-yeah…” you mumble, face downcast.
“why? why would you do that? you’re just going to be even more hurt!” he exclaims, and you shrink into yourself even more, not out of fear, but out of pure shame.
“i don’t know! it all just happened so fast, a-and i, i don’t know, i just couldn’t stop myself,” is all you manage to say. soobin groans at your words.
“you do realize that getting over him is going to be even harder for you now, right?” he asks, and you finally look up at him for a second before looking back down and nodding, and it’s almost like you’re a child who got caught doing something they knew was wrong.
“i know, and i’m sorry,” you mutter, still struggling to make eye contact, but soobin catches your timidity and his gaze is softened as he pulls your face up to look at him.
“you don’t have to apologize to me,” he sighs. “i’m just worried about you, you know?”
“i know, i know. but i’m still really sorry.” and you don’t have to elaborate on why that is because you both know that he’ll be the one helping you pick up the pieces when this situation inevitably breaks your heart even more than it’s already broken, if that’s even possible.
“it’s alright,” he says, pulling you in for a hug that’s so warm and kind you almost burst into tears. “you’ll be alright. i’m here.”
-
this is a bad idea. soobin would yell at you if you told him what you’re up to, but you don’t want to think about that right now. all you want to think about is how much better you’ll feel after you get your secret feelings off of your chest. up until now, the fear of rejection has made you too afraid to tell beomgyu how you really feel, but things can’t get much worse than they are at present, can they? it’s only been a few days since your hookup with beomgyu, but your love is eating you alive and you doubt that you’ll be able to hold it in for much longer.
things will probably go badly, and he’ll probably be completely blindsided, but the thought of continuing to lie to beomgyu’s face hurts more than anything else ever could. even more than the pain you feel every day that he unconsciously hurts your feelings. maybe this will ruin your friendship, but you love beomgyu, and he loves you, even if it’s not in the way that you want. all you can do is hope that your friendship is strong enough to overcome this.
with that mindset, you find yourself at his doorstep on this particularly cool summer night. you know he’s home because you can hear the faint sounds of whatever movie he’s watching emanating from his door. before you can lose your nerve, you begin to rapidly knock. before long, you hear the shuffling of feet nearing you, and you almost bolt then and there, but he’s quick to open the door when he realizes it’s just you.
“what are you doing here?” he asks, agitation apparent. oh god, were you interrupting something? what if he was working? what if he was sleeping? you should've texted before just showing up unannounced.
“i-i’m sorry, are you busy?” you ask sheepishly.
“... no,” he says after a slight pause, and he opens the door to let you in. you sit yourself on his couch, posture ramrod straight due to how fucking uncomfortable you are, and you try to steady your breathing as you fiddle with your fingers.
“is this about chaewon?” he asks, breaking the silence, and your heart aches at the trace of hope in his words.
“n-no, nothing like that. i just —”
“is there any update on that?” he cuts in before you can even get your words out.
“oh, um, not really,” you reply before remembering that something has happened, but you’ve been so out of it, it genuinely didn't occur to you to tell him. “wait, actually, she mentioned that you seem different lately, but she, uh, she’s still… well, to be honest, she’s —”
“what? she’s still what?” and there’s no patience for your rambling to be seen.
“she’s still not interested in dating you,” you mumble, unable to look him in the eyes when you say it. he’s completely silent after your words, and when you do finally gather enough guts to actually look at him, you really, really wish you had just kept your face down. because he’s pissed.
“are you fucking with me? she really said that?” he asks, and you nod.
“why didn’t you tell me earlier?!” and you feel so disoriented at the way things are unfolding that you can barely croak out a reply.
“i-i forgot.”
“you forgot? jesus christ, if it’s not about her, then why are you here?” he seems angrier than you’ve ever seen him, but his words get you to finally remember what you’re here for.
“i just… i needed to talk to you,” you say pleadingly, looking into his eyes as you try your hardest to give yourself the strength to be honest with him.
“about?”
it takes all of the courage in your poor little heart to choke out your next words.
“beomgyu, you know, for the longest time, i’ve —”
“i know,” he impatiently snaps. you’re unsure of what he’s referencing, but you do know he has no idea about the feelings you’ve kept hidden for so long.
“no. no, you don’t know, actually,” you argue, brave face on, but voice shakier than a leaf. “i just need to tell you that i —”
“that you love me? i know, that’s what i just fucking said,” he sighs irritatedly. “why else would you help me? ‘cause you love me so much, right?” he knows it’s wrong to take his frustration out on you, but you’re so pathetic, you make it too damn easy. you’re the perfect outlet for him to unleash all of his anger.
“you… you knew? this entire time?” you ask incredulously. you feel like you’re suffocating in the face of his callousness and disgust, and the room feels smaller than it did before.
“i mean, yeah. it was kind of obvious,” he muses. your cheeks feel so hot you’re sure you’re on the brink of immolation. it was obvious? if it was obvious, then why did he keep you around in the first place? because you’re useful when it comes to helping him get his dick wet?
“so… so why did you…” you trail off, still finding it inconceivable that the beomgyu you know and love could possibly know about your feelings; and not only are they unreciprocated by him, which you could understand and respect, but they’re nothing more than a fucking joke and means to an end. the end in question being burying himself into other women.
“why did i act like i didn’t know? because i don't feel the same way,” he answers, and you already knew it and knew it well, but that doesn't make it any more digestible to hear.
“y-yeah, but you — how could you still sleep with me? how could you do that to me?” you ask, lips wobbling and voice cracking. you can't believe this. you won't believe this. you have to be misunderstanding something somewhere. there's just no way this is it.
“because it was easy,” he says with a shrug, and your heart shatters into a million pieces.
because it was easy.
easy. what a funny word. you don’t think you even fully comprehend what it means in this context, actually. easy, easy, easy, but what part of this has been easy for you? every day, it’s like you’re killing yourself by trying to twist into what he wants you to be. a friend, a confidant, and now, even a lover. but lover is being too generous, isn't it? because he does not love you, not even as a friend, and this discovery becomes clearer and clearer as you think back to every time he’s shown you just how little he cares.
soobin’s litany of warnings come back to haunt you with a vengeance.
he’s just using you.
he’s garbage.
he’s just gonna hurt you.
and though you know soobin will take no pleasure in being correct, you can't help but dread the “i told you so” you know he will never be mean enough to say, but will inevitably think.
“i thought we were friends,” you say incredulously, dread and anxiety pooling in the deepest recesses of your heart. “i thought you cared about me”
and he doesn’t shrug or anything because he doesn’t really need to, but he might as well seeing as how it clearly makes no difference to him. and this is finally how you come to understand that beomgyu is just as bad as everyone says. maybe even a little worse. and he will continue to act like a sociopath for as long as you let him.
“i-i love you, i really do. but no fucking way. i won’t sit here and let you treat me like shit,” you declare, tears flowing down your cheeks so quickly and steadily you’d probably be unable to wipe them away even if you tried. luckily or unluckily, you don’t even have the strength to find out.
“you’re going to regret this,” you whisper, and it’s said with such certainty that for a moment, he almost believes you. almost, but not quite.
either way, you’re booking it out of his door before he can even reply.
-
this is everything beomgyu ever could’ve asked for. chaewon is sitting next to him on his bed, eyes dark with lust as she unceremoniously grabs the end of her top and tugs it off. she's beautiful, no doubt about that, but he feels more and more like something is incredibly wrong.
she leans in to press her lips onto his, but he flinches, scooting almost imperceptibly further away from her on the bed. she falters for a moment before sighing and crawling on all fours to situate herself between his legs. she begins to unzip his pants and tug on his waistband before he frantically stops her.
“w-what are you doing?” he asks, voice shaking.
“blowing you, what does it look like i’m doing?” she replies with a roll of her eyes. “i just wish i had known you wouldn’t be into kissing or, like, actual foreplay, but whatever.” she continues her movement to pull his pants down before he stops her again.
“what’s wrong?” she asks curiously, before finally realizing that he is, to what would normally be his eternal shame, completely soft. her mouth drops in shock, and in another universe, beomgyu has enough energy to care. but not in this one. in this one, his eyes are teary as he feels an implacable sense of dread he can’t seem to shake off.
“oh god,” she says with conviction, pulling herself back up and running one hand through her hair. “i knew this would happen.”
beomgyu, on his part, looks somewhat out of it, but her words bring him back to earth.
“knew what would happen?” he asks tentatively, sniffling for reasons unknown to him while he tries not to let his tears run over his waterlines.
“i knew you’d act like this because of her,” she says begrudgingly.
his eyebrows furrow for a second, not because he doesn’t already know who she’s talking about, but because he doesn’t understand the correlation between you and the situation he presently finds himself in.
“think about it,” she says slowly, condescendingly. “who do you trust, like, actually? and i’m not just talking about with getting girls, but with everything.” beomgyu is silent as he tries to comprehend what she's saying, but he’s nothing if not slow on the uptake in regards to human emotion.
“oh, beomgyu, come the fuck on,” she sighs in frustration. “i mean, when you were stressed about that presentation for your job, who did you call? yunjin told me all about it. she said you spent hours reciting a 15 minute presentation to the girl you supposedly don’t give a fuck about.” ah. he remembers that night, actually, and he remembers it well. he called you in a panic, so you brought over some dinner because you knew he was stressed, but he was so wound up that you didn’t leave and even insisted that he practice with you in order to give him feedback. he spent the whole night repeating the same speech over and over again, but you sat patiently and encouragingly as he repeated the boring, inconsequential drivel to you. you never complained, not even once, and you didn’t ask him for any compensation in the form of him doing something — anything — similar for you, either. even if you had, he realizes, he wouldn't have given any to you, anyway.
“that’s…”
“and that’s not even all of it. who’s the first one you look for when you walk into a room? and when something good happens, who do you tell first? not anybody else, and i know for a fact that it’s not me, never will be,” she says bitterly. every new point slashes at his heart and ego.
and suddenly, things start making sense, albeit in the worst possible way. beomgyu loves you. his trust and dependence on you all make an awful sort of sense, but in a way, it’s relieving to finally be able to put a name to this feeling. his eyes still feel hot, but not so much because something feels wrong, but because things finally feel right for the first time in forever. he loves you, has loved you, and will continue to love you.
her words resonate with him so deeply, she can read it all over his face. it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he finally understands, but he’s still missing an important fact. the most important fact, even.
“yeah, i guess you finally get it now. you have feelings for her. and the worst thing is: you treat her like shit.” his eyes widen and the tears that were just threatening to escape are completely let loose. how could he only come to this realization after he already effectively stomped on your heart and your pure intentions? after you’ve made it clear that you don’t want anything to do with him anymore? and he has nobody but himself to blame, really; he practically shoved you away over and over and over again.
“i-i didn’t mean to —”
“sure, of course you didn’t,” she says with a sarcastic smile. “whatever makes you feel better for fucking over the girl who’s been in love with you for years.”
-
beomgyu may not know much about the inner workings of interpersonal relationships, but he does know he needs to see you, and he’s smart enough to understand that he needs to apologize.
but beomgyu has never apologized for anything in his life — not unless you count the times his mother made him grit them out as a child when he would objectively do something wrong, but this is another matter entirely. nobody will be holding his hand as he does it, and he’s not even really sure where to start. but he knows he has to try.
surely there’s a better place to try than at the bar where he currently finds himself, but then, there’s no time like the present. not to mention that he has a sneaking suspicion that you're avoiding all of your mutual friends’ get-togethers for the sole purpose of avoiding him. if the blocking of all of his socials wasn’t enough, the blocking of his phone number certainly was.
it’s not necessarily fate’s fault that he finds himself here, either. he heard from a friend (chaewon) that you’d be here tonight. he sees you from across the bar looking lively and chatty, and he prays that the good mood you seem to be in will help soften the upcoming conversation with him. to his luck, you step out of the bar to take a call, so he slides from his seat with an open beer bottle in tow, and follows you outside.
your back is turned, and he doesn’t quite hear what you’re talking about over the phone, but he does catch a giggle and a name, soobin’s, and it makes his heart ache. when you hang up, you turn to head back into the bar, but you’re met with his figure.
“h-hey,” he says, and he wants to smack himself for the casual greeting he still managed to fuck up.
your eyes widen for a moment before they go blank, and you’re pushing past him without a response.
“i need to talk to you,” he says, voice trembling as he grabs the back of your elbow, which you snatch out of his grip like his touch is poison.
“about?” you ask curtly, barely even deigning to turn your head to look at him. you have never been so hostile towards anyone, let alone him, and it's making him spiral.
“i’m sorry. i’m just really, really sorry,” he desperately apologizes. you’re silent for a few moments as you turn to completely face him with your arms crossed, and he’s trying his damndest to read your expression, but he can’t quite make it out.
“okay… and?” is all you say in response, and he fumbles over his words at your nonchalance.
“a-and, um, i —”
“you know what?” you cut in with an impatient sigh and a wave of your hand. “i don’t care anymore. you’ve said enough.”
“but i —”
“i don’t care, beomgyu.” and his name is said in such disgust that it sounds to him like it’s a chore for you to spit out. you’re about to turn and reenter the bar when his next words come tumbling out.
“i think — i know — i love you,” he says urgently, and your previously unreadable gaze turns into one of pure, sheer amusement. you’re so amused, you laugh, even.
“what the fuck are you talking about?” you say between giggles.
“i-i didn’t realize it before, but i talked to chaewon, and she even said that i’ve probably always felt that way about you. i know i didn’t show it, but i really do love —”
“okay, just stop. stop it right there, beomgyu. i’m only going to say it just this once, so listen carefully, okay?” you ask, and he fervently nods.
“okay. you don't know the first thing about love.” and he goes to interrupt you, but you don’t let him. “loving somebody means you put their feelings above your own. what the hell would you know about that?”
“i’m… i know i was wrong, b-but i —”
“beomgyu,” you say exasperatedly. “i’m so glad you’re finally reaching enlightenment, and i’m so happy i was cannon fodder for you to use to get there. but i just really, really don’t care anymore, okay? do what you want with whoever you want, but don’t bother me about it anymore, alright?” and he’s so stunned he can’t even form words, but you just shake your head and prepare to leave again. unconsciously, he goes to grab you again, which you consequently dodge, and he thinks this is the most rejected he’s ever felt before realizing it’s not over yet. it’s only truly over when you grab his bottle from him and splash its contents across his face before throwing the bottle back into his arms and leaving for good.
notes pt. 2: yeah... idk when part two will be out but stay tuned! also, if you all want a soobin ending let me know and i might... MIGHT do it ;_;
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I've got those requests almost at the same time jsrfwwxewe also I fucked up big time and accidentally deleted them but thanks god I've made the screenshots
I've been looking forward to writing something nsfw for him lmao
nsfw headcanons w/Aventurine
characters - Aventurine notes - gn!reader, nsfw, subby!Aven. Somehow turned into a character study. Somewhat angsty but with a turn for hurt/comfort. No beta.
Okay, first of all, he's no virgin. But he's NOT a manwhore either. Like for some reason when it comes to the cunning characters it's always either he's a dickrider-pussydestroyer-900 or he's actually a fragile innocent virgin baby. Not the case with Aventurine, not on my watch at least.
I mean it's pretty much canon that the only moment he feels truly alive is when he's gambling so he won't seek sex for the purpose of filling up the hole in his heart. And I don't see him as a lustful person in general.
He has one-night stands from time to time though. Not particularly often but once in a while he feels a certain level of frustration and stress budling up in him so in order to distress without losing his cool he seeks sexual relief. For him it's a safe way to relax a bit without actually taking off the mask of a frivolous and confident man.
Also. He's very touch starved. Not even in a lustful way, he just wants to feel someone's touch. Someone on twitter pointed out that he's practically hugging himself on his e6 and I haven't been the same ever since.
And now look at his body language in almost every cutscene. He has his arms crossed and is generally pretty reversed. I think he doesn't trust people around enough to be in his personal space but when it's a part of the sexual act, it's just natural. He doesn't have to feel exposed. So yeah. This is another reason why he seeks sex.
Now do you remember what Sparkle said to him? About stripping himself naked for Sunday and all that? Yeah I feel like he gets comments like that a lot due to people's prejudice against Avgins. People are usually not this straightforward butttt the idea behind their comments is the same.
He may act unaffected as long as he wants to but I do think it messed him up quite a bit.
Due to his fucked up views on his own value and his sexuality he doesn't have a healthy set of boundaries with his partners, allowing them to be as mean and rough as they want. And I don't mean just kinky stuff, I mean genuinely uncaring partners who really don't give a shit about Aven's comfort. I think subconsciously he seeks people like this. In his eyes, it's better this way, otherwise he may crumble from a gently and caring touch.
So yeah. His sexual encounters usually leave him sore and exhausted. The initial feeling of relief washes away in the morning, leaving him more empty than before.
Okay now to the happier part because we are 466 words in and I still didn't say anything good or sexy.
If the two of you started your relationship as a fling then initially he would be surprised because of how observant and attentive you are.
"My, my, how caring you are. But don't worry about me, you're free to use me as you wish" he says in the same flirty tone as usual. And you just. Stare.
He acts like he's bored while you literally pry the information out of him and, well, he doesn't give you anything specific anyway so you have to ask questions during the whole prosses to make sure he's doing fine. Orrr you just set for something very vanilla just in case.
In reality he's a bit confused. Has mixed feeling about this. Being treated with such care makes it harder for him to hide behind his mask but it feels so nice.
And when he realizes that he has actual feelings for you he just. Stops sleeping with you lmao. If you have questions about this he'll find 2134144 excuses but in reality he just tries to figure out his own feelings.
If you started off as friends then he would not try to sleep with you until you start dating. At first he just doesn't want to mix up this dynamics. And when he catches feelings, he just tries to make sense of it. Plus since sex is not something entirely positive for him, he's just kind of... unsure how it may affect your relationship even if it's obvious that the two of you want each other.
Okay now the real talk. When the two of you are officially lovers be prepared to face his messed up views on his own sexuality. Will probably need a lot of reassurance, attention and aftercare to realize the importance of his own safety and comfort. Learns to value himself through you.
A very good lover, knows how to please you and wants to please you. His previous sex partners weren't important to him so he didn't go out of his way to make them feel good but with you it's a different story. Literally worships your body, pressing kisses everywhere. Especially likes your thighs. Kisses them, bites them, leaves marks all over them. Loooooves teasing them while keeping eye contact with you right before giving you oral.
I feel like he's a switch but leans towards being a sub. May dom if you want him to or, rarely, if he feels like it.
May look like a brat but is not actually a brat. Well, most of the time. He's a tease but still does pretty much everything you want without making you work for it. However, if he's in a playful mood, may get all cheeky with you. Says stuff like: "Oh, that's all? I know you can do better" or "My dearest, don't disappoint me, okay? You know I don't make deals that don't pay off" just to rile you up. He loves being tamed okay. He knows you won't hurt him so him being all cheeky and disobedient is actually a huge sign that he's comfortable with you and trusts you fully.
Worship his body and he'll melt. Like. He'll genuinely crumble.
Goes all worked up and needy and soft and completely submissive in your arms.
Loves loves loves edging you. And fucking hate being edged. And by "hates" I mean he will whine and sulk and beg you to let him cum already. Secretly loves it but won't admit. You know it anyway since he never tries to stop you, obeying your every command, like a good boy he is. If you tell him that you'll stop doing that if he actually wants you to he'll huff and admit that he's not actually against you being a meanie.
Loves marking your body and loves when you mark his. HOWEVER would prefer to leave/have hickeys on the parts of your bodies that are usually covered. Doesn't want to create any rumors and doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. However, if you're into this, he'll gladly cover your entire neck with hickeys.
Is actually very sensitive pretty much everywhere so it's quite easy to overstimulate him. Once again, he'll whine but would never be against it.
Has the pretties moans and is very loud as well.
Doesn't have a lot of stamina so if he tops and you're still not satisfied after he cums, he'll use toys to entertain you up until he is ready for another round. If he bottoms then please give him some time to rest. Andddd kiss all over his body so he would get worked up again as soon as possible.
Has a praise kink. And a bit of a degradation kink too actually. Don't just insult him, mix it up with a praise and boom he's ready to cum.
Loves aftercare. Both giving and receiving it. He feels extremely vulnerable after a sensual lovemaking session so please just hold him and tell him he did great.
#hsr#aventurine#aventurine x reader#hsr aventurine#honkai star rail#sub aventurine#reader insert#walp's writing
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This is inspired by a TikTok I seen by @blaackaesthetics
Description: Mattheo Riddle is your boyfriend and Theodore Nott his best friend. As much as you love him he doesn’t half get on your nerves with the pair of you always fighting like a cat and dog. In a heavily heated argument Theo tells your boyfriend to get you under control which makes you see red.
18+, Smut
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
You, Mattheo and Theo (your boyfriend’s best friend) are currently sitting in the common room. What started as you complaining about his fuckboy ways has turned into a screaming match between you and Theo. Mattheo as usual is caught in between, watching the pair of you with amusement.
The audacity this boy has. You always knew that he was a player and despite your many conversations trying to talk sense into him for the most part you left him to it. That is until he hurt one of your best friends. You warned him, you also warned her but she has always been far too naive. He asked for you to set the pair up, him claiming he won’t do anything to hurt her. For so long you refused until she was practically begging you to. So you have in hoping he doesn’t fuck with her head too much but of course she had to fall for him.
‘Theo I just don’t get how you think you can treat people like that do you not have an ounce of fucking remorse in your body?’
He shrugs his nonchalant attitude grating on you even more ‘she knew what she was getting herself in for.’
‘You never once said it was a one night stand you made out like you liked her back.’
‘Well she read into things I didn’t say any of what she is implying.’
‘You know what girls are like and you still chose to lead her on knowing what would happen.’
He doesn’t even look at you still smoking in his own world unfazed by your complaining. Rage fills you even more how he can act so heartless when you had to sit with your friend whilst she cried for two days straight. You have always been protective when it comes to those you love and he has took it too far. You storm over to were he is sat grab the cigarette out of his hand and put it out on the ash tray ‘fucking listen to me you dick!’
‘What the fuck!’ he shouts standing up and getting in your face ‘don’t ignore me when I am talking to you I told you to not hurt her, are you really that desperate to get your dick wet you had to sleep with the one person I said not to!’ You look him up and down with disgust.
He clenches his jaw rage filling his veins at the way you are speaking to him. No one else dares to and you best believe you are putting him in his place. He gives you a little shove ‘do not talk to me like that, I will do what I want she was the one fucking begging for it.’
You shake your head glaring at him ‘you’re disgusting.’
‘Yeah and little Molly fucking loved…’
‘Argghhh’ you want to punch the smug prick but you opt for your wand instead. You have always been to impulsive and prone to anger so you don’t even have time to think before you are trying to fire a hex his way. Before the words can leave your mouth your wand goes flying out your hand. Mattheo as always keeping a close eye on the situation had said ‘expelliarmus’ without you hearing, damn him and his quidditch reflexes.
‘Fucking control your girl.’ He adds in snidely only making you more angry. ‘Excuse me I don’t fucking need controlling maybe you need to stop being such a filthy manwhore…’ you push him back.
‘All right love that’s enough’ you feel his arms around your waist pulling you back even though you fight him. He pulls you to face him ‘sit down’ he nods head to the couch but you just glare at him. ‘Fine I’ll sit you down’ he plops down onto the couch pulling you onto his lap, his arms around your waist in a death grip.
‘Are you not going to tell him I’m not doing anything wrong.’
Theo looks at you smirking at the fact Mattheo tried to put you in your place ‘Mattheo I’m going to kill him let me go.’
‘Love calm down and you stop antagonising her you prick.’ Theo just gives an innocent smile ‘hey I’m not doing anything was just trying to smoke in peace before I got attacked.’
‘Can you blame me you know it’s the one thing I asked him not to do she’s been heartbroken all week.’
Mattheo nods at you stroking your cheek ‘I know it’s not worth getting angry over you two need to stop arguing.’ He stares deep into your eyes holding you there for a second until you feel yourself relaxing. Your anger dissipates more at his touch and you breathe in getting more comfy on his lap. ‘Good girl’ he says tucking your hair behind your ear.
‘Listen mate did you really have to fuck her out of everyone she did beg you…’
‘I didn’t know she would get so attached you warned her yourself not my fault she is stupid and didn’t listen.’
You try to stand up and charge over to him but you can’t move with your boyfriend’s strength holding you to his chest. Theo just chuckles at this again. He has always known how quick to anger you are and he just loves winding you up. ‘Matt don’t you dare fucking defend him he’s horrible!’
‘Theo’ Mattheo says sternly. He just looks over sighing holding his hands up in defeat not wanting to upset his best friend. ‘All right all right I’m sorry I fucked her can you blame me though I did try and stay away she was practically begging me!’
‘You can apologise to her as well.’
‘No fucking way.’
You look at your boyfriend crossing your arms knowing he will find a way to force Theo to. He just raises his brows at him and Theo huffs ‘For fucks sake, what am I meant to say I’m sorry you like me?’
‘No you say I’m sorry I don’t feel the same way I shouldn’t have led you on and you deserve better anyway because she fucking does I could kill you for making her feel like shit when she deserves the world.’
He sighs ‘listen I could have never gave her what she wanted anyway it was for the best.’
‘Just tell her that then you don’t have to be such a dick about everything and do me a favour and stop going after girls you know will only end up obsessed with you do you need an ego boost that bad?’
He rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek trying to hold back another snarky comment. ‘Fine where is she.’
‘In her common room the last time I seen her.’
‘You want me to go all the way to the Hufflepuff rooms?’
‘Yes I do I don’t want her upset any longer.’
He bounces his leg up and down for a moment ‘Ugh fine’ he storms off out of your common room to find her and you breathe out a breathe of relief.
Your boyfriend slowly lets go of you ‘your not a safety hazard are you anymore love’ he chuckles and you send a sharp glare his way. ‘Why do you always defend him I’m not the one that needs controlling it’s his mouth!’
‘I know but you are both in the wrong I’ve told you that you need to control your temper and listen to me.’
‘Well he deserved what I was about to do to him.’
‘Yeah and what was that?’
‘Iwasgoingtogivehimpigears.’
‘What was that?’
You sigh ‘I was going to give him pig ears’ you mutter.
His jaw drops but a laugh escapes his lips despite himself ‘you’re fucking crazy.’
‘Well he shouldn’t piss me off.’
‘You can’t just go round hexing people love do you want to get expelled?’
‘Stop trying to tell me what to do I’m sick of him telling you to control me what am I a dog?’
‘Y/N’ he warns you but you stand up storming to your room. You know it’s unfair to direct your anger at him but there’s nothing you hate more than being told what to do. You just need some space to breathe and try to calm down. He gives you a few minutes and you sit biting your nails the worst habit you could have.
He eventually makes his way to your room slowly shutting the door and walking over to where you are sat. He tilts your chin up to him. ‘You done yet?’
Despite you and Mattheo both being the most impulsive, anger prone people you both know exactly how to calm the other down. No matter how much you try to push him away he can always put you in your place, bringing you back down from the choking feeling of rage.
You clench your jaw looking away still being too stubborn. ‘Stop acting like you are on his side.’
‘your my girl and he’s my best friend I’m not siding with either of you I told him he was being a dick but you can’t act like that’
You look back at him and he crouches down between your legs hands running up and down your thighs. ‘Am I the one that done it? No so you can drop your attitude right now and stop taking it out on me.’
You breathe in knowing he is right but you can’t admit defeat just yet. You just cross your arms and he rolls his tongue on the inside of his cheek. ‘You going to make me get rid of that attitude then?’
‘Fucking brat’ he says as you don’t answer pushing you roughly down on the bed ‘when I tell you to sit down and shut up you fucking listen to me.’
You go to give him a snarky retort but he leans over squeezing your neck ‘you think that’s wise?’ Your mouth snaps shut seeing the look in his eyes. ‘Now are you going to be a good girl and stop being a bitch to me.’
‘Yes.’ You grit out. ‘What was that love?’
‘I said yes.’ You say your tone still being bitchy ‘mhmm not good enough you’re still speaking to me like shit apologise.’
Your jaw drops in disbelief ‘me apologise what the fuck Mattheo it was him…!’
‘You are acting like a fucking toddler apologise for not controlling yourself and clearly not doing what I say.’
You cross your arms ignoring him, your stubbornness always being your worst trait. He looks at you darkly ‘suit yourself.’
He rags of your nickers and skirt ‘act tough all you want we both know I’m in control here it’s about time you acted like it.’
Anticipation runs through your body and a dark part of you just loves seeing him like this, you love being put in your place despite all your protests that you hate being told what to do. ‘You’re going to do exactly what I say understand?’
‘Yes’ you breathe out nearly moaning just off his words. ‘I’m going to do exactly what I fucking please with you and you’re going to take it yeah?’ You nod your head at him. ‘This will teach you right for being such a brat.’
He usually teases you, starting off slow taking his sweet time eating you out. However you can tell this isn’t about his own pleasure or yours it’s a punishment. He dives onto your clit straight away biting and sucking harshly. The pressure is too much and you gasp your back arching ‘Matt!’ You try to pull away or pull his head back but he wraps his arms around your thighs holding them in place ‘Shut the fuck up I don’t want to hear another word.’ He mutters still continuing his attack.
Despite how overstimulating it is after a while of pressure building you feel yourself coming close to an orgasm you tangle your hands in his hair riding his tongue as he continues to eat you out. He must sense it as well because just it was about to wash over you he pulls away wiping his mouth. You gasp ‘Matt what the fuck…’
He climbs over grabbing your throat again ‘I thought I said not another word?’
You let out a half whimper half moan and nod your head. ‘Sorry baby I was so close.’ He chuckles darkly ‘I know and it’s your own fault for disobeying me you’re not finishing until I say so.’
You want to cry, you want to go back ten minutes and change your actions just so he can let you finish. ‘Complain one more time and I’ll stop all together.’ He remains hovering over you eyes locked on yours as he slowly pumps one finger in and out of you. It’s torture and you buck your hips needing more. You want to cry and beg him but you know it will only make it worse if you speak so you take his teasing and bite your lip as hard as you can.
He eventually pulls out all together stripping his clothes off until his dick springs out. He spreads your legs wide teasing your entrance. ‘Look how wet you are I bet you love this don’t you being put in your place.’
‘Don’t worry darling there’s going to be no attitude left in you once I’m done.’ He finally puts himself inside you but he has no mercy. Instantly his pounding in and out your cunt. The pain and pleasure is disorienting and your legs instantly try to close. He growls and pulls them open again ‘open your fucking legs’ you do as he says sobbing as he continues slamming his hips into yours ‘that’s a good girl spread them nice and wide for me.’
He was right he is going to do exactly what he wants to you and all you can do is take it. Your body goes limp, you stop fighting and let the intensity of the feeling take over you. This gives him more room to get even closer to you driving deeper then you thought possible. ‘That’s it take my dick.’ You don’t even try to hold back your moans as the pain starts morphing into pleasure.
‘Apologise now.’
You barely hear him lost in a world of your own until he stops causing you to whimper again grabbing him but he just pins your hands above your head. ‘You want to cum?’ You nod your head frantically ‘Apologise.’
‘I’m sorry Matt.’
‘Mhm’ he says starting to drive back into you ‘what for?’
‘For-for’ you moan as he keeps hitting the spot ‘Matt!’ You scream out trying to convey that you aren’t in the position to be listing our apologies.
‘Come on love spit out’ he just chuckles taunting you. ‘I’m sorry for being a brat and not listening!’
‘Who do you belong to?’
‘You’
‘So you are going to listen to me from now on or the punishment will be a lot worse then this I’ve let you off easy.’
You nod your head just wanting to cum. ‘I’ll be good now Matt… I’m getting close.’
‘Go on them baby cum.’ wraps his arms around your waist pulling you closer and slams his hips in and out with a pace you didn’t even think was possible. You are a blabbering mess as you finally finish and tears fill your eyes at you finally being able to release. Matt finishes a couple of minutes later pulling out and you don’t even give him a second before clinging onto him.
‘There’s my girl’ he presses a kiss to your forehead seeing you back relaxed in your usual soft state with him. Who knew it just took him pounding into you to release all that anger.
‘I’m sorry Matt’ you feel tears running down your face being overwhelmed with the emotions running through you. ‘I just get so angry and take it out on you but I love you.’
‘I know baby you took me so well though you were so good.’ He wipes away a few of your tears smiling at you. ‘You have to ignore him though okay and listen to me when I tell you to calm down.’ You nod your head knowing if there is anyone in this earth that has the potential to tame your rage it’s only going to be him.
#harry potter fanfiction#slytherin boys x reader#slytherin#slytherin boys#fanfic#slytherin boys smut#theo nott#mattheo x you#mattheo x y/n#mattheoxreader#mattheo x reader#mattheo riddle imagine#mattheo smut#mattheo riddle#mattheo riddle smut#smut#theodore nott
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Hey Bunny! I'd love scones with hard lemonade, please pretty please. Let Verstappen serve the sweets🥹
Also, your bakery list is literally so creative
the bakery menu
if you wanna request your own order, feel free! the bakery is still open! as for this lovely request, i am very happy with what you picked! not many picked scones so i am very interested. i also got your send message and thank you so much for thinking i'm such a good smut writer!!! order up! i also added a lil something special to this as well <3
scones ("but what if they see us!") + hard lemonade (possessive behaviour) served by max verstappen (formula one)!
cw: smut/pwp, possessive behaviour, semi-public sex, wolff!reader, daddy issues, degrading language, enemies(???), unprotected sex, sass/bickering
you could always feel max's gaze on your back as you spoke to the mechanics for mercedes. you ignored him however, but the gaze still lingered. you weren't giving him the time of day.
if anything you were going to push that dutch driver to the absolute limit. as you placed a hand on the shoulder of one of the mechanics and gave him a bright smile.
"thank you so much for everything today, you and the team did such a great job!" you could tell that the mechanic in front of you was getting a little heated from the praise. you however kept your voice loud enough for max to hear.
you then pulled away and headed back towards where your father was before the race started. you looked right through max as you walked back. you tried not to stop, you forced yourself to keep moving.
these little games you must play.
you had known max for a while. everyone knew max. you at first didn't pay him much attention, he was driving for another team. not the one you were employed at, the team your father was the head principal of.
"you have to be careful, bärchen." you father warned, "this league is all pretty boys now. you need to make sure you have your head on right. they're all heart breakers."
"like you weren't, papa?" you asked.
he replied, "i know i was. that is why i know what they will do you. stay away and focus on work."
but maybe it was the daddy issues, maybe it was how sweet he was. he didn't treat you like glass, his love was at time obsessive. he was in a way possessive of you. but within six months of being on the job, you were in bed with max verstappen.
a lot of the time it was steamy sex, with the dutchman being the type of lover that made the blush got up to your ears (as if your ankles weren't already there as he fucked you). other times it was him with his arm slung around your waist. talking about nothing, listening to him yap as you felt close to him.
almost like lovers.
you were in monaco for the weekend. you had told your father that after the time of the track you were going to stay at a friend's house, but you promised to be at the race right on time.
the night before practice you and max got into a bit of a fight. you were jealous, there were no strings attached to this agreement. so he was free to see whomever he wanted. so when you saw him on raya, you both chewed each other out.
"fuckin' manwhore."
"oh really? like i didn't have to hear all about that fuckin' engineer for three months. you know, it's hot to talk about other men while someone is fucking you, right? brat."
"slut."
so now like the vindictive bitch you were it was your goal for the day to flirt with as many assistants, mechanics, drivers, anyone who you could. and you made sure to do it in max's line of sight.
before you could reach the ferrari paddock to see what trouble you could get into. you were grabbed by someone and pulled towards them. you were met with max and his lips were on yours.
he had enough. he was done playing this stupid little game with you.
"max."
"shut it."
you two were making out behind a wall in the paddock. hopefully out of prying eyes. his hands gripped your ass while you clutched onto the front his driver's suit.
"but what if they see us!"
"tonight, come over. you still remember the code to get in?" he continued to grab at your ass, massaging the flesh between his large hands.
"i think it's tattooed on my brain. so yes, i can get in."
he chuckled, "good girl, i knew you weren't the stupid whore i thought you were. keep using that brain of yours and maybe i won't have to fuck some sense into you." then smiled at you.
you hated that degrading language made you core sopping wet it was almost uncomfortable. it didn't help that his accent was a thrum in your brain that made all proper thoughts irrelevant.
he knew this too, just like he knew everything else about you.
-
his place was nice. on the outside it reeked of expensive, but the inside reeked of man in his twenties. at least he kept the framed picture you gave him of his cats. something to "add character" to the place.
but there was little time to say hello to the animals, because when you leaned down to pet one of them, max's strong arms came around you.
"don't think you're getting away with today." he said as he watched you stand back straight and he tightened his arms around you. his lips were on your neck while he held you.
"you're a possessive fuck."
"and you're not? i'm talking to a model and you're going to rip her head off. someone likes me."
you dug your nails into his arms and said, "yeah, i don't want herpes at twenty-six."
he replied, voice close to your ear, "oh i bet that's why. not because you're a stupid jealous girl who wants the number one driver all to herself. that this was never casual for you, you're just a coward. just like your father."
you huffed and turned in his arms. you grabbed him by the face and said, "i guess you know a thing or two about coward fathers. how's jos doing these days?"
he scowled at you before he grabbed you by the shirt and kissed you roughly, "fucking bitch."
"oh, lighten up, verstappen."
he made a face before you two went to the bedroom and started to strip one another. max wanted it all off now, he was impatient that way. he wanted to see your naked body before he demolished you.
he got on the edge of the bed and leaned back on his hands. he looked at you with a haziness to his blue eyes, his cock throbbed at the sight of you. also naked and ready for him.
"you're a dog, verstappen."
"and you're the rabbit i'm going to sink my teeth into." he said with a smile as he watched you get closer and straddle his waist. you got onto his cock with ease, you had done it so many times. you were certain that an imprint of his cock size was inside of you.
you held onto his shoulders and shuddered, "god should've given you a small cock."
he chuckled, "and you'd still be like this. a shivering little horny mess."
your knees rested on either side of him onto the bed, you held onto him as an anchor to not fall off the bed. you started your pace off strong, you held onto him as you rode him.
you felt the rhythm of your thrusts in the back of your head to keep yourself at a steady pace. you looked at max while his gaze was on your breasts.
"you're a dog." you repeated.
he replied, "well, maybe if you weren't trying to sleep with the whole paddock then maybe i wouldn't have to find ways to make sure you don't. actually be a decent woman."
"oh, i thought we were casual."
he took you by the hips tightly and said, "you really are a fucking idiot. it's never been casual."
you laughed before you pulled him in for another kiss. your pace was erratic and hard. you rose and dropped your hips onto his cock which caused both of you pitifully moan and gasp.
the kisses were frantic, hot all over. his fingers dug into your hips as he tried to move you in a certain way. but you weren't changing the pace for him.
"jesus christ." you muttered as you moved up and down.
"see, you can be a good girl for me. i see you more as a wife and less of a manager. i think it's about time to have the next generation of verstappen." he kissed your neck and collarbones, "have my kid."
"in your dreams, verstappen." you rolled your hips, "i need a real driver, not some kid living out daddy's dreams."
his grip on you tightened and the truth strength came out. soon you were being moved by max up and down his cock. a noise exited your throat that was painfully erotic.
"see, still just a stupid little girl. still trying to get daddy's approval. that's why you took the job. but, i still don't know why you're having sex with me. he'd die if he found out."
you cupped max's face and silenced him with a kiss. you'd have three verstappen brats before you admitted to max that you had an affection for him. you could be married for five years and you'd still not say you loved him.
you didn't want to give him that ego.
orgasm came quick over you. your thighs quivered from the rush in your body. fuck, you felt hot all over. max even took a good bite into your shoulder to "remind" you.
"fucking hell, max." you whined.
he chuckled, "now be good and cum."
you came first, you clutched onto him. you felt a pain in your head from the intense pleasure. you rode him slower and he came inside you quickly after.
you prayed tomorrow you'd remember to buy plan b.
you slowed down after you both came and panted heavily. your nails were still in your shoulders. you core throbbed from the intense orgasm as you exhaled shakily. you were still straddling his waist at the end of the bed.
he pulled out of you and pulled you down onto bed with you. his arms wrapped around you. he asked, "are you done?"
"done what?"
he kissed at your sweaty neck, "being a bitch. are you ready to be nice again?" his voice was honey in your brain. making it tacky and gooey.
"for now." you replied.
he made a face before he kissed you, "i guess that'll have to do. now you lie there. i'm not done with you."
#bunny writes#the bakery#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen x you#max verstappen smut#max smut#mv1 x reader#mv1#mv33#mv#mv33 smut#mv1 smut#mv33 x reader#mv1 x you#formula 1 smut#formula one smut#formula one imagine#formula 1 fanfic#formula one#formula one fanfiction#formula 1#f1 smut#f1 rpf#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 x reader#f1
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lick it up ~ lando norris x reader
warnings: drinking, smut, pwp, angst 😬 mdni!
Lando Norris- known manwhore. When he's not in his car going 350 km/h, he chases that thrill in other things in life. Designer items, drinks, parties- women. But there's only one thing that he really wants, he craves her love- his bestfriend.
She felt a pair of sturdy arms wrap around her waist, almost suffocatingly tight. It made it hard to breathe, the paining sensation only increased by the already constricted airflow inside the crowded club. “Lan?” She murmured, her head turning each way in the hopes of catching a glimpse of her best friend. She felt woozy due to the alcohol seeping through her system and she really didn’t need to deal with an over insistent man who believed he had the privilege to her body in her current state.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Lando’s chin rested against her shoulder, his hot breath tickling her neck. Those were his arms around her, holding her body closer to him then anything surrounding the pair. “I’m here,” One of his hands travelled up to her hair, his fingers gliding through her frizzing hair. “Don’t worry,”
Sure, Lando was a naturally affectionate person, often insisting on hugging as a greeting and goodbye, or resting his head on the shoulder of absolutely anyone who was near him. He liked touch, saw it as the easiest way he could express his caring and love for others. But drunk him was another level- hands anywhere he could get them, face buried into their shoulder or neck.
“Lan, you’re really drunk,” She giggled, pushing her slight anxiety down to her stomach as his lips started moving aimlessly against her neck. He wasn’t quite kissing there, but only because he was moving too quickly to be able to actually press his lips to a single spot.
He grumbled, dissatisfied with her comment. “So? You are too,” Lando was sounding pissy already which only usually happened later into the night. By this point, he was usually going to go seek off some other girl to spend the night with who would fawn over his every move and beg for more.
Her head tilted back, resting against his chest slightly, “I am,” A grin played across her lips, forcing his grimace to transition into a smirk, his eyes full of pure adrenaline without a single thought behind them. “Not as much as you though,”
A nod of agreeance came from him, his hands idly moving up and down on her waist, settling on her hips for a few seconds as her body continued to aimlessly sway along with the music. “It’s difficult to be more drunk than I am- especially since you’re such a heavy weight,”
It was true, and something that Lando was incredibly envious of. He wanted her ability to pour endless drinks down her mouth, consuming absolutely anything she wanted at once and manage to feel perfectly fine the next morning, while he would find himself with a throbbing headache, next to a girl he couldn’t remember the name of. Maybe he’d never asked her though.
“Or maybe you’ve just drunk more,” She dragged a finger along his cheek. Even if she didn’t show it as much, she was certainly feeling very drunk. For once, she wanted to be like Lando, feel like him. She craved his complete confidence and how he would feel as if he was on top of the world each time a drop of alcohol entered his system.
Maybe tonight she’d finally score a man to bring home, be the one to tell Lando all about her most recent hookup instead of always being on the receiving end of hearing it from him.
But at least for right now, all of his attention was on her. He looked at her like she was one of the girls he’d want for even just a night, instead of the one he left behind each time they’d planned to go out together.
She knew full well that the way Lando treated his one night stands was far from something that she should be dreaming about almost nightly, to be the girl that woke up to the sight of Lando’s peaceful sleepy face, his dark lashes fluttering over his cheeks and his unruly curls- but she knew a different side of him. The one that was loving, that cared. The side of him that would talk in the highest of praise about the girls he did really like, and how he never once spoke ill of someone to her.
He was different then how he came across, she knew that.
He held a bottle of some blue liquid, the spout of it resting against his bottom lip. She ogled up at him, her eyes wide and pupils huge. “Hello,” He grinned, laughing at her dopey upside down expression as she leaned against him. “You’re smiley tonight,” He teased, his hand wrapping tighter around her stomach to keep her up.
“I am smiley,” A deep sigh left her chest, her cheeks beginning to hurt from how wide her smile was stretching out. “I like your face,” She mumbled out, each syllable oozing into the next. “It’s a good face- a true one at that,” Her body wasn’t used to this much alcohol, and she was feeling any kind of shame melting away and just a desperate need to be completely honest.
A rosy flush was almost definitely covering her face at this point, given how hot it felt to the touch. “I like your face too,” He smiled, his nose nudging against her forehead. It felt unexplainable, like a thousand bolts of lightning crashing into her all at once. “It’s pretty cute,” His thumb swiped along her chin, nudging it open so he could place the finish of his bottle inside her mouth, the glass heavy on her bottom teeth.
He tilted it up, letting it run over her tongue and pool up inside her mouth. It was near sickening sweet, likely what his mouth tasted like given how much he’d already drunk the majority of it. “Good,” Two of his fingers tapped her chin again, his other fingers clasping the neck of the bottle so it didn’t drop. She shut her mouth, swallowing awkwardly due to the angle her head was at.
Once her mouth was empty again, her lips parted, her eyes moving up further to where the whites underneath her iris’ were even more visible. “More?’ She mumbled, her back shifting back unconsciously to steady herself against him. He granted her wish, keeping her mouth open as he hooked his two fingers over her bottom teeth as more alcohol spilt into her mouth.
“Fucking hell,” He hissed, his pink tongue darting out between his teeth in concentration. Their eyes refused to move and break contact, tension just building the longer the moment lasted. “You’re so fucking hot doing that,”
Her body got hotter at the praise, her mind short circuiting and essentially spilling out of her ears. “You’re sexy,” Her lips wrapped around the bottle, suckling on it gently as the final few drops spilt onto her tongue.
He went silent, his eyes darting across her face as a way to memorise each curvature and feature complete. He wanted to engrave this moment into his mind for the rest of time. The bottle slid down her mouth further, her lips pursing and stretching thinner around the thickness. His mouth dropped open ever so slightly, his eyes near bulging out of his head at the erotic sight.
He was hard, undoubtedly. His arousal pressed against her ass where her dress clung tightly around. He grinded against her, desperate for some sense of contact and pressure against his ache. “ Baby ,” He whined into her neck, pulling the bottle away from her mouth to rest it against some table.
Her heart pounded harder in her chest, feeling like it could explode at any given moment. The mix of the nickname, the desperation in his voice, the way his crotch was rubbing straight against her. “ Lan ,” She moaned, turning around so her chest was pressed against his, the silk fabric of his button up gliding against her exposed skin. “Please,” Her voice cracked with straight need.
“Please what ?” His hand settled into place against her jawline, his palm flush with the front of her neck, the slightest pressure against it. He knew what she wanted, both of their intentions so crystal clear, but he wanted to hear her say it- needed it.
“Kiss me,” Her voice was so fucking weak at that point, her expression completely wanton and eager for him. His eyes went straight to her lips where a glossy whine of the remaining alcohol coated them, making them even more red and wetter. The grip his hand had on her jaw tightened, putting her head into the perfect position for him.
His mouth moved against hers quickly, her bottom lip slotting in between hers in an almost practised manner. Her mouth parted, his tongue slipping inside the warm emptiness within seconds. Moans from her spilt into his mouth, the vibrating sensation going straight to his dick, somehow getting even harder with each movement she made against him.
One of her hands trailed up to his hair, tugging on his curls. They were so delicate in between her fingers, perfect coils wrapping around each digit. Her other hand snuck up under his shirt, the back of her hand brushing against the soft silk while her palm and finger tips explored his hardened abs.
“More,” She begged, her nose nudging against his as their lips finally broke away. His breathing was heavy, laboured almost. Their bodies were still resting flush against each other as his left hand sat heavily on her ass, squeezing it, while his other remained cupping her face.
“What do you want, gorgeous?” His voice was lower, breathless from making out for so long. He’d tipped his head down, his mouth close to her ear. There were so many things she wanted- she wanted to kiss more, she wanted to feel his tongue all around her mouth, she wanted to taste him, she really wanted to fix the ache in between her legs.
So with not even half her brain working to put together a proper cohesive sentence, she mumbled out the first thing that came to mind, “ Hotel ,”. Whether it was her hotel or his wasn’t important, all that mattered was for them to have a private room to stay up all night together in private. Because despite how at this point she could probably be convinced to drop down onto her knees and suck his cock right then and there without much effort from the brit- it wouldn’t look too good for an f1 driver to be receiving a blowjob in a random club in Singapore.
Maybe his one would be nicer on the other hand, a Formula one driver would likely have been supplied a higher star hotel then some girl in law school using her own money to pay.
With one swift move, each of her legs were on either side of his waist, her thighs bracketing his hips to keep herself up. One of his arms snaked around her waist for stability as he navigated his way out of the club, avoiding anyone who was clearly trying to approach him for either a photo or an autograph.
She buried her face in the collar of his shirt, one of her hands trying to cover her face in a last chance attempt to conceal her identity in case anyone had been filming. It was something she should’ve considered before they started making out, but she couldn’t change the past now.
The humid Singaporean air struck them the second they pushed past the entrance doors. A thin sheen of sweat collected on the back of Lando’s neck, but she was unaffected. Singapore was a consistent visit of hers so she’d become accustomed to the near unbearable heat.
A taxi rolled up right to where they were standing and before she even had the chance to ask when he managed to book one, Lando’s mouth was on hers again. She didn’t even notice the taxi door being opened until he was arranging her on his lap in the backseat, his eyes going directly down to her breasts. He placed a soft kiss to one where some cleavage was exposed from the dress’s style, while his hand worked at kneading the flesh.
A whimper of satisfaction passed by her lips, earning a shit-eating grin from the man. He continued his ministrations, tugging down some of the fabric over her breast to kiss further down her chest. Her head tipped back, hitting against the headrest of the passenger seat. As she ground her hips harder into his, each bump of the road that the car hit just pushed his boner further against her drenched cunt through her panties, a wet patch forming on his trousers.
“Pretty thing,” He trailed his lips up her neck, her jaw, then suckling on just her bottom lip. “So fucking wet for me,” He growled, pulling her body impossibly closer to him. Part of her wished she’d been sober for this- to be able to enjoy this moment with complete clarity and be sure to remember each and every event the next morning.
The drive seemed excruciatingly long, but had only been a mere few minutes in reality. Her body had essentially moulded into his by the end of it, her legs unable to work to take her to the elevator up to his room. They didn’t need to work though, he was more than excited at the opportunity to carry her as long as he could.
And she sure as hell wouldn’t be able to walk by the end of the evening.
The second the elevator doors drew to a close, Lando’s hand was tugging her panties to the side, allowing a finger to slide along her clit, “Good?” He nuzzled his head into her neck, kissing the smooth skin there over and over. The touch was met with a string of pleasured moans, all more beautiful than the last.
He got prepared before the doors reopened, grabbing his phone out with his keycard secured in the back of it, ready to open the door the second they arrived so he could be on top of her as quickly as possible. The grazing of his finger stopped long enough for him to unlock the door, and resumed as soon as it clicked shut.
“Lando, fuck, please,” She begged, overstimulated by all the drawn out teasing of the night. “Just finger me already,” She was at her wits end, completely ready to just touch herself if he wouldn’t take it a step further right then.
She didn’t have to do that though as he answered her prayers, sliding a thick finger into her aching cunt. A sigh of relief left her lips, her hole clenched around his finger in reflex. He carried her into the bedroom, settling her down on the bed as he hovered over her, his knees on either side of her hips as he covered her face in chaste open mouthed kisses.
The pleasure turned to a quick flash of dull pain when he removed his finger, pulling her underwear down and tossing them across the room in a drunken hurry. His green eyes widened as he stared directly at her pussy, his pupils shooting wide in lust. “Fuckk,” He sighed, “Can I.. taste?” He wasn’t sure exactly how to word the request but she granted him permission regardless.
He shuffled down, his massive hands grasping her thighs to position them over his shoulders. She lifted her hips off the mattress so as to allow him to push the bottom of her dress higher up before his head dipped down, his nose nudging at her clit. The sensation sends a rush of slick straight to where his mouth was readily waiting.
Tentatively, the tip of his tongue licked alongside her hole to her clit, emitting a shudder and a groan from the girl. He squeezed down on her thighs, rubbing the right one with his thumb to help her calm down. “What colour?” He murmured, looking up at her from between her legs.
“Green,” Her head tilted back, hitting against the pillow as she moaned into it. With the go ahead, his tongue repeated the motion, pulling more noises out of her throat. He began to eagerly lap at her wetness, the taste coating over his tongue as he grew more desperate to make her cum.
He had become increasingly more aware of the pain in his trousers, his neglected erection tenting uncomfortable in his too tight boxers. Squeezing one of her thighs tighter to make up for the loss of his hand, he reached his hand down to his crotch and began palming at the spot. He tilted his head down, his tongue fucking her while his nose buried into her bundle of nerves.
She was feeling so much. The way his tongue was buried deep inside her, how his nose was expertly rubbing her clit, his hands stroking the insides of her thighs where goosebumps prickled, and most of all- the way his deep emerald eyes remained staring into her soul. He lapped at her wetness like he’d been deprived of sex for years- in reality it couldn’t have been more than a month.
He had a one track mind, always did. His only goal in life was win, win, win. And today’s prize was making the beautiful girl laying on his bed, his best friend, cum with his mouth. Determined to make that happen, and make it happen right then, his teeth grazed against her slit gently to overstimulate her.
Sure enough, the action got her legs shaking and her back arching. “Fuck, Lando,” Her hand yanked on his hair, effectively pulling him away slightly. His eyes went wide in shock, it certainly hadn’t been the reaction he’d expected.
“I’m sorry,” He kissed the inside of her left thigh, his hand idly tenderly rubbing her knee. “Did it hurt?” She shook her head, having to crane her neck to look down at him. His cheek rubbed against her leg, another kiss to the bend of her knee. That time he suckled the spot, hollowing his cheeks to leave a small red spot when he pulled away.
“No, no- just.. sensitive,” She had to take a few moments to breathe, her chest raising and dropping with forced effort. “You- you can go again,” It’s more of a request than a suggestion, and he took it seriously.
His mouth returned to her heat, his tongue swiping up in a practised motion, each one met with more noises of delight and pleasure. A hand yanking his hair again signalled her orgasm, spilling into his mouth. He drew to a halt, going slower as she came down from her high so it wouldn’t ache from the abrupt ending.
He scooted up so his face was just mere inches above hers. He couldn’t even try to force back the smile that played on his face upon seeing how absolutely fucked out she was. Her half lidded eyes, bitten lips, sweaty skin- it was truly a sight. He kissed her, over and over, wanting nothing more than to experience the pressure of her mouth on his.
As he kept his lips on hers, he began tugging down the top of her dress to reveal her strapless bra, one of his hands moved underneath her back, his fingers toying with the clasp of her bra before snapping it open. His fingers inched the thick fabric away, the pads of his fingers grazing along her bare chest. “I’m surprised it took you so long to get that off,” She snickered, “Thought you’d wanna see my boobs first thing,” Lando felt a wave of shame rush over him, drowning in embarrassment of her comment.
He puffed hot air up onto his top lip, a slight snarl twisting his lips. “Is that how I make you feel? Like all I want from you is your body?” His tone was harsh, piercing her skin and leaving a mark. Her expression shifted from her drunken daze to somewhat more alert. The sting behind his tone was solely just a cover for his genuine hurt, unbeknownst to her.
“No, no, Lans..” Her hand cupped his cheek, her voice softening as she said it. “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean it like that at all,” She angled for a kiss, receiving one almost immediately as he was an absolute sucker for an apology kiss. “If anything that’s more me, I was the one begging for you earlier,” That soothed his nerves, his mood switching back to aiming for pleasure.
He sat back on his heels as she shuffled her legs closer to her, her knees bending up towards the ceiling while still straightened enough to allow them to keep their eye contact. Lando bit his bottom lip, a cheeky grin sneaking out through it. “Sex?” He finally asked, watching her expression turn to match his.
She leaned forward, hands tangling up in the fabric of his button up. Within seconds it had joined her panties somewhere flung mindlessly across the floor. Her fingers massaged into the groves of his back muscles, relishing in how each one ripples with each sudden movement he makes.
His fingers clasped around the zip of her dress, pulling it down tantalisingly slowly. With each bit of skin that was further revealed, his lips peppered kisses down her body. Her eyes fluttered shut, lost in the pleasure and an overwhelming feeling of ‘ oh god, finally’. As she felt the last of her dress removed and likely joined the other discarded clothes, Lando let out a short breath of exhilaration.
His nose nudged her neck, lips focused on her collarbones. “Open your eyes,” He grumbled, his thumbs kneading into her waist. “Want you to see this, pretty thing,” Her eyelids were heavier than ever so opening them felt like a chore.
A flush of wetness streamed straight to her core as she felt him rocking his hips against her cunt. With a flurry of hands and mouths on eachother, she tucked her fingers into his boxer’s waistband and shoved them down, his hardened cock smacking up to hit his stomach.
Her eyes practically turned black as her pupils grew beyond a size Lando deemed possible. “Happy?” A finger slid back inside her like it had been before, moving in and out before realising she’s definitely ready enough for a second one.
“Horny,” His free hand tightened in place over her hips, lifting up to help his digits reach further into her. He ignored her clit, wanting her to finish for a second time when he was actually inside her.
The head of his cock was reddened and had drops of pre-cum lining all over it. He removed his fingers from inside of her, met with a groan of discomfort, and moved that hand to wrap around his aching shaft. “I needa fuck you right now,” Lando grumbled, his hand stroking his throbbing cock a few times before meeting her eyes, seeing only pure lust and want.
His hands gripped her legs, pulling them apart and locking them to wrap around his waist. One hand returned back to his dick, guiding it into her dripping hole. A gasp was punched from her throat as he got close to bottoming out. She was full, insanely full, as if he was to leave right then she wouldn’t have been a complete woman without him inside her.
Admittedly, there was definitely a fair amount of pain that accompanies the intrusion, but it doesn’t come close to the overwhelming pleasure. “Colour?” His voice was thick as he moved in and out of her with renewed energy.
“Green,”
Lando went faster and deeper.
“Greener,” Her expression was dazed and dopey as she looked up at him, her lips lax as she tried to express that she wanted kisses while he ruined her.
He didn’t get the hint, just pushed her legs further up and went quicker.
He finished first and she followed quickly after. He collapsed on top of her in an exhausted pile of a mess, his breathing heavy and manual. “That was so fucking good,” Her eyes trailed up to the ceiling, a sort of emptiness filling the void. She wished he would shut up as he kept rambling on about how pretty she was and how perfect tonight had been. Post sex clarity set in, and hit hard.
Because not only did she just hook up with an f1 driver in a random country, that driver was the man that had been her best friend for years and was a known manwhore. “I love you,” He mumbled, his hand playing with her hair. “Always have, for fucking years I’ve loved you” She didn’t hear him though, his mouth muffled with a blanket in front of it and her ears covered by her pillow.
He fell asleep with his body half on top of her, his arm draped across her chest. Of course he wasn’t the type to practise aftercare. She wiggled out from underneath him, her eyes rimmed with exhaustion and the desperate need for sleep. As soon as her feet hit the plush cushioning of the carpet and the city lights of Singapore nightlife illuminated her face, she realised the grim mistake she’d made.
So with that, she picked her bra and underwear up off the floor, nicking a pair of his smallest shorts and an oversized McLaren hoodie, wrapped herself up in those clothes and headed downstairs to the lobby, calling a taxi to her own account despite how the receptionist said the charge could go to the room she’d stayed in- to Lando.
Even though he had plenty of money to his name and on his card, and how a fifteen dollar taxi would hardly be noticed- she didn’t want to feel an obligation to him to pay him back for this. She needed clarity and space, and feeling like she owed him wouldn’t allow that.
With a quick text sent to him, ‘ thanks for tonight, don’t think we should do it again,’ she stepped into her taxi and headed to her own hotel, showering his touch off under scalding water.
The next morning when he woke up tangled in a heap of blankets and pillow, he noticed how cold and empty the bed was. “Love?” His voice thick with sleep, his arms aimlessly reaching for her. They hit nothing though, he was alone in his bed.
He sat up in a panic, every single moment from the night before remembered exactly. Dancing at the club, his drink in her mouth, the look in her eyes. Back at the hotel, his hands undressing her, their mouths attached to each other’s with undoubtable passion. Him buried inside her, how she’d sounded, how gorgeous she’d looked underneath him.
He’d fucking told her he loved her. And now she was gone.
The now cold bed sheets wound tighter around his body, the false feeling of an embrace not nearly enough to heal the hurt.
~ part 2 ~
#lando norris#lando x reader#lando norris x reader#lando norris smut#formula 1#formula1#f1#f1 x reader
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𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 - 𝙻. 𝙷𝚎𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚞𝚗𝚐
Pairing: heeseung + female reader
Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, cursing, cum eating, blow job, multiple orgasms, angst, pet names, daddy kink, breeding kink, reader and hee have sex in a classroom.
Summary: heeseung is still determined to get into your pants after months of “wowing” you and showering you with gifts and compliments. He’s successful all, though his charm isn’t exactly what makes you say yes to him. It’s more for you and the fact that once you finally give him what he wants, he can finally leave you alone once and for all.
Wordcount: 2,328k
Note: I am finally getting over this sickness, so I thought I might just give you guys a lil sum sum hope you enjoy!
Find your way around!
“Hey beautiful,” Heeseung approached you at your locker door like he was just the sweetest, nicest guy on earth.
He wasn’t.
He was just a horny guy that would do and say anything to stick his dick inside someone, and that someone just happened to be you. For the last couple of months, he’d come up to you, giving you flowers, buying you candy, sweet talking to you, even going as far as to compliment you when you got new nails or a new hairstyle. It sounds flattering, and any other time it is, but because it’s lee heeseung with a manwhore with a bad reputation, it’s not flattering, and if anything, it’s disgusting.
“Thank you, heeseung,” you say in a sing-song tone while shutting your locker and getting ready to leave school for the day.
“You’re welcome, baby. I bought this for you.” he drops a little piece of candy inside your blazer pocket, standing a little too close, trapping you between his body and your locker. If he’s doing that to try to turn you on, it’s definitely working cause no matter how much of a douche he is, he’s still incredibly fucking hot. “You’re so pretty all the time. Can barely keep my eyes off you.” he grips your chin, tilting your head so you can look up at him while stroking your cheek with his thumb.
Instead of telling him to fuck off like you usually do, you played into it this time just for the fun of it. “Just wanna be pretty for you, Daddy” You blinked your lashes at him innocently, and he cursed under his breath, imagining you looking like that under him while he stuffed you full of his cock.
“Baby, you are so pretty.” he leaned down, giving you plenty of time to stop him, and when you didn’t, he placed a gentle kiss on your cheek. “Such a good girl getting all pretty for your daddy. I think you deserve a reward for that, don’t you?”
You reached your hand down, placing it on his cock, and you were surprised when you felt how hard he already was. “Please, Daddy,” you pouted, stroking his length up and down through his baggy blue jeans.
He didn’t show it, but he was in shock. Was he really gonna get a taste of you? After months of you rejecting and him trying to get at you, you were gonna let him have his chance just like that? Don’t get him wrong. He wasn’t complaining. He’s been wanting it for so so long. “Fuck baby, daddy’s going treat you real good.”
“You promise, Daddy?” You give him puppy eyes and a soft voice, watching him lose all his self-control by the second.
“Promise,” he moans when you squeeze him through his jeans. He ducks his head down, kissing on your neck. You knew you shouldn’t give your body to him but fuck it, he was hot. You heard he had a good dick game, and plus, after this, he’d leave you alone, so it’s a win-win. “Come on, little one time for your reward.”
He took you by your wrist, leading you to a vacant classroom. He quickly sat down in one of the many empty chairs. “On your knees for Daddy,” he smirks when you obey, lowering yourself onto your knees. He wonders what changed before you acted like you’d never give him the time of day, and now you’re willingly on your knees unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out of his boxers, but he really didn’t care what’s changed all that matters was your hand wrapping around his girth as you pump him slowly. “Hmm,” he groans, his hand going straight for your hair as he pushes some strands behind your ear. “You like it?” He whispers softly as you admire his fully hardened length that is dripping sticky precum.
You moaned. His dick was so pretty and pink. “yes, Daddy, so big” You looked up at him, eyes blinking innocently as you took in all of his inches, hollowing out your cheeks and breathing through your nose as you started bobbing your head the wet smacking sound’s immediately bouncing off the classrooms walls.
“Fuck you’re taking it so deep already” he spread his legs open further, and he couldn’t resist the urge to buck his hips a few times, gagging you with the tip. “Oh shit,” he gripped the back of your head, pushing down lightly to set a good pace. “That’s daddy’s good little princess.” he throws his head back, eyes closing shut while you continue pleasuring between his legs.
You put your hands on his thighs, squeezing them every time you gagged on his enormous cock.
Your moans reverberated all through his shaft, making everything feel so much more pleasing. “Faster,” he whispers, searching for his release as his cock drags along the length of your tight wet throat.
Your eyes began to water, and he simply swiped away the tears blurring your vision, continuously fucking his cock down your neck. “Almost there, pretty, doing so good, daddy.” All the other times he called you pretty or beautiful, it did absolutely nothing for you.
But you can’t say the same for right now. The rough hoarseness of his voice made you feel something in your lower tummy. Hearing him call you that while moaning and grunting was so attractive and embarrassingly enough, you could feel yourself leaking down there already.
“Fuck baby, how do you make it feel so good,” he says in awe this was by far the best head he’s ever received from anyone, and he was about to cum in record time. “Cumming baby,” he says through strained moans. His hips jerk up off the chair more than just a few times as his cum spurts out in white hot ropes. “Fuck yes,” he grits through his teeth while you keep sucking even after he comes, his body shuddering in bliss.
You savor the taste of his salty cum, and to you, that was the best reward you could have ever gotten.
He helped you off the ground, guiding your wet, messy core to sit on his lap. “You liking the reward so far?” he messily kisses your lips, the taste of his cum still lingering in your mouth, turning him on even more.
“Hmm, yes,” you said in between kisses.
“You’re gonna like it even more real soon” He reached between your bodies, pulling up your little skirt and pushing your soiled panties to the side so you could sit fully naked on his dick. “This pussy is so wet” he slides you back and forth on his cock, lubing himself in your arousal.
You moan into his mouth shamelessly, your body moving on its own as you hump his naked cock for some friction. “Please put it in” Your mind is spinning just from the feeling of his cock brushing against your clit. You’re so needy, so desperate for his cock that you don’t even need any prep to take him inside cause you were literally soaking.
“You sure you’re good? We only just started, princess” You bury your face in his neck, inhaling his cologne as you mumble out a tiny yes, slightly embarrassed by how wet you got just from sucking his dick. You could literally hear the sticky sounds your conjoined bodies made, and it was not discrete at all. “Okay,” he says breathlessly as you kiss and suck on his neck.
He pushed down on the base of his cock, pressing the tip on your entrance. “Up,” he commands, and you lift yourself up slightly while he lines you up perfectly. All you have to do now is sit down, and you’ll be stuffed full of him. “Down,” he breathes out, preparing himself to feel your sweet wet pussy.
A shaky breath leaves your lips as you wrap your arms around his neck, your legs trembling from the feeling of him being inside of you.
“There you go.” he kissed your temple as you sat down on him, and it felt like he was in your stomach. That’s how full you felt. “That’s it,” he sighs in pleasure.
“Heeseung,” you mewl, biting softly on his neck while slowly bouncing on his dick.
“Fuck ride it just like that” he spanked your ass, the sting making you clench tighter on his dick. “So fucking warm,” he grunts, hands squeezing your tight little ass helping you ride him.
Your brain was empty. The only thing you could focus on was his warm throbbing cock going in and out of your slick pussy so perfectly. “Oh my god daddy.”
“You like daddy’s cock, huh baby?” He whispers in your ear, breath heavy with lust as he sticks out his tongue, lapping at the shell of your ear.
You respond by standing on your tippy toes, gaining a better angle to ride him faster now, the sounds of your thighs colliding with his enter the room along with the rest of the lewd wet sounds your bodies produce. “Hmm, mmm fuck it just like that, there you go, bounce on that dick, princess” You pursed your lips, eyebrows furrowed as his tip burrowed itself deep in your cunt, and you don’t ever want him to pull out. You want his thick cock buried to the hilt inside you forever. He just felt too good for your kind to comprehend.
“Yeah? Like that daddy?” Your moans sound like they’re straight out of an adult film, and the way his cock twitches lets you know he’s feeling good.
“Yeah, just like that,” he grunts, one hand moving from your ass to your neglected clit, circling it so you can cum relatively close together cause he knows he gonna cave before you, and he can’t help it. Your pussy feels like magic. “Look at it” he smirks lazily and looks down to where his cock is splitting you right in two, and the sight is definitely one to see. You lowered your head, your forehead brushing against his as you see the filthy creamy mess between your bodies. “Daddy’s gotta cum, princess,” he whispers and searches for your lips, connecting them in the sloppiest kiss exchanging obscene amounts of saliva as you groan into each other's mouths like you just can’t get enough, and you really can’t cause it feels so good too fucking good for it to be over seconds later you spill around him gushes of your arousal coating his thick juicy cock while he spills inside you filling you up until there’s nowhere left for it to go except out of your clenching stretched hole.
He unexpectedly lifts you up effortlessly, laying you down on the table in front of him so he can fuck up into you and stuff you full of his cum, breeding you the way needs to his lips, never leaving yours for a second and no wonder why there’s so many rumors about him being good in bed because he is he so fucking big and so good this was literally the best sex you’ve ever had. “FUCK!” he breathes out, finally breaking the kiss and opting to nibble on your neck instead while he catches his breath because, wow, that was some really good fucking mind-blowing sex.
His thrusts come to a gradual stop, a few little whimpers and moans coming from the both of you as you fight to catch your breaths.
Neither of you two say anything while you gather your thoughts. When he turns soft, he slips out of you, his cum immediately running down your thighs, and you flush with embarrassment. His ears burn from the sight as he pulls his pants back up.
He looks around the room for something to clean you off with, but there’s nothing, so without much thought, he drops to his knees, tongue darting out to lick up the stream of his and your cum.
You gasp when you feel his hot tongue running along your thighs. He chuckles softly. You could barely comprehend what was actually happening, and before you knew it, he was pushing your panties back to their original spot and straightening out your skirt after his method of cleaning you up.
He stands up, licking his lips with a small smirk on his face. “All clean,” he smiles, quirking his brow. “So..” he placed his hands on your waist. “How about you let daddy take you out? Hmm, princess, what do you say?” He usually never even thought about dating the girls he hooked up with, but you, oh, he definitely needed to have you again and get to know you because, damn, you have the best pussy and mouth he’s ever felt, and maybe he felt a little something different with you than all the rest.
He goes in for another kiss, and you place your index finger on his forehead, pushing him back. “Not a chance,” you laugh straight in his face. His hands drop from your waist, and his smile soon drops as well.
He may have had a nice face and an ever nicer dick, but he was still a douche, one that you’d never find yourself ever getting involved with.
You make your way out of the empty classroom, blowing him a kiss on the way out, leaving him confused and speechless at your blatant rejection.
He wasn’t used to being rejected, given he hadn’t had a real relationship or ever even asked anyone out, and if he was being honest, it didn’t feel too good. He’s usually a confident guy, and he thought he looked fairly decent, so he assumed you’d say yes to him. Plus, you seemed to enjoy his company, but apparently, not that rejection was a little harsh, especially on his self-esteem, but he put that in the back of his mind. At least he got his one chance with you.
Permanent taglist🔖 @hoyeonheeseung @furious-eagle @heeseungssidechick @hee-pster
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#heeseung smut#enhypen smut#enhypen heeseung smut#enhypen heeseung#heeseung#lee heeseung smut#enhypen#lee heeseung#smut#enhypen x reader#enhypen fanfiction#enhypen angst#enhypen fluff#lee heeseung fluff#heeseung x reader#heeseung angst#heeseung fluff#heeseung scenarios#enhypen imagines#enhypen hyung line
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NSFW ALPHABET [ johnny ‘soap’ mactavish]
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
THE AFTERCARE KING!
He was raised to treat his partner like a goddess and you took him so well for so long… he’s waiting on you hand and foot, whatever you need. Bath being drawn? Food? More sex? He’s more than willing.
Even after a quickie, he’s checking you’re alright. Praising you for being so perfect, and more often than not it will lead to more sex because those eyes draw you back in.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
ON HIMSELF: He knows how much you love his eyes, probably the reason you even gave him a chance. Also they’re the reason he can watch your curves and how your lips widen when he slips into you… his eyes have a lot to do with his job and his life.
ON YOU: Johnny CANNOT pin down what he loves about you more. Your thighs when they tighten around his hips? Your lips that give him a run for his money no matter what they’re being used for?
He just loves YOU in general, he’s more of a personality guy but it’s an added bonus that you’ve got so many benefits.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Breeding kink is written all over this man. Inside all day long, he knows you don’t like having to clean up the mess on your body and the image of you carrying a little one of him… it’s too tempting for him.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Still hasn’t told Ghost that he fucked you over the arm of his couch when you were staying over at his.
Simon definitely knows, he could smell the unmistakeable scent of fresh sex as he came through to the living room. And the scrape marks on the wooden boards- the sofa had moved a few inches to the right.
Not to mention the scratches up Johnny’s arms, and the abrasions along your collarbone.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Johnny was so dead set on going into the military that girls may not have had his full focus.
He’s definitely experienced, have you seen that face ✨irresistible✨ and he’s an impossible flirt. Not a manwhore by any means but DEFINITELY knows how to pleasure you.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
STANDING: He’s got muscles and what’s the point in having them not to use them on the person he cherishes most. He’s fucking into you while you’re suspended in the air- only thing stopping your descent to the ground; his arms hooked under your bent knees and hands clutching your ass.
DOGGYSTYLE: He can get so rough and bothered with you on all fours, watching your fingers clutch into the soft sheets of his bed. Your pretty voice filling the void between the flesh slapping and mattress creaking. Johnny doesn’t care if he doesn’t last as long as usual, he can’t help loving how your ass jiggles against his spread thighs.
IN HIS LAP: Sitting up with you in his lap wrapped so perfectly around him. Christ, he’d die a happy man if he got to see that every day. Your moans so loud like that, him buried so deep. Your body shivers and nails clutch deeper into his tattooed shoulder blade.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He’s gonna laugh if you guys fall off the bed. Doesn’t mean he’s gonna stop fucking you. It’s a unique image seeing this buff guy, covered in a range of scars and tattoos have such an angelic smile while defiling you. A weird dichotomy but you see it in your fucking dreams.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Johnny’s a clean shaven guy down there. The guy even styles his facial hair and even his mohawk. He’s definitely got a handle of the hair down there.
There’s still a dark brown shadow down there but no hair in sight.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s so intimate.
When he comes home from deployment, he enjoys being cuddled up to something soft and breathing instead of crawling around in the dirt.
He’s so lively with his hands, cannot keep them off you. That’s how you end up under his heat, or how you end up spread with your beau on his knees eating you like he’s been a starved man.
Takes you out on little dates, nothing too fancy- he’s a down-to-earth guy. Normally in his local pub, you don’t mind as long as you’re with your man.
He’s so protective, and anybody would be stupid to cross this stocky built man with an SAS emblem on his forearm.
Johnny doesn’t even look at other women, as far as he’s concerned you are the only woman on the planet.
J = Jack off (masturbation head-canon)
Before you definitely jacked off once a day maybe more but after meeting you, you became the main focus and after you were ready to go all the way, you two have sex everyday. He just has an unquenchable need to be inside of you and feel that buzz.
During deployment, he doesn’t have the time or the drive to keep that amount up. But when he finds the time, the memories of you are his only assistance.
He’s definitely glad to get back to you, his safe place. His home.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
BREEDING: You’re the only person he’s wanted to knock up. Before he didn’t even know if he COULD be a father… he’d be gone for too many days for him to bear the guilt. He didn’t want to be an absent dad but knowing you were there to take care of the kids… he melts at the thought of two boys and you pregnant with a girl.
The reason he makes sure to come out alive, a family waiting for him.
BONDAGE: He gets way too excited being at your completed mercy. Hands behind his back, tied with a pair of your tights, on a dining chair. His blue gaze entranced watching you work your magic all over his tensed body. Until he breaks out of his restraints… you have one hell of storm coming…
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Doesn’t really care where you have sex just as long as it’s comfortable. The bed is a classic place.
CAR: Not too keen on places that are too open. He drives either a Ford Ranger or a relatively modern BMW, hop in the front seat. Or if he’s feeling more handsy and in control- back seat, hands on ass type of doggy style. It’s like candy to him
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You. You’re just the whole motivation for this man. You’re the reason he HAS to come home.
Rubbing his hair is a kind of turn on for him, any type of sensual touch. Caressing his tattoos and running your finger along his scars. He’s like a puppy dog turned to a wolf.
Wearing his clothes. He can’t help it, he wants everyone to know your his- maybe he bought you a shirt that said ‘MacTavish’ on the back just to fuck you in. Got matching hoodies as well. Even if you’re not married, they say ‘Mr and Mrs MacTavish’. They don’t stay on for long, most likely stripped with his bare hands.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Anything that would harm you. You’re too precious and delicate taking him so good.
No degrading you- he will never call you a ‘whore’, ‘slut’ or anything of that sort. You’re his lady, he’ll treat you like a goddess till the day he dies.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Doesn’t really care about blowjobs, prefers you taking him in other ways.
As for oral, he could eat you up for days and you’d gladly let him. He’s great at running his mouth and eating you up.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Truly is your decision or how long he’s been away from you.
If you’re begging him with those pretty eyes for him to jackhammer you- he will and lose himself in it.
But when he’s gentle and deep, it’s almost as affective because eye contact is involved… losing yourself in their waves.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He loves a good quickie, for him it’s like a warmup to actually worshipping you. It helps get that darker side out of him, he’s almost animalistic during quickies so he can pay attention to your own needs.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Johnny is open to trying new things except the no nos. He loves learning new positions and strives to keep you satisfied when you’re just happy with him.
He definitely takes risks- gets his blood pumping and he’s not the shy type. If someone does catch you in the act- he’ll just carry on… they shouldn’t have walked in. While you’re there mortified.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He could last all night and day if you wanted him to. His stamina is diabolical, but he’ll take care of you after the ten rounds he’s capable of managing through a 24-hour-span.
That normally happens when he gets back on leave. The neighbours definitely know when that is.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He’s definitely open to try anything new. But he’ll always protest after it that you were louder with just him.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Have you met this man? He’s the poster-boy for teasing in whatever degree.
Will get so far with foreplay and get distracted… but fluttering your eyelashes has never worked so well. He always concedes.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Definitely is shouting praises at you under his breath. About how good it feels inside of you and how he could stay there forever.
He gets louder with each round, it’s raw and rugged hearing his accent really come through so you can barely understand it.
That doesn’t mean you’re any less riled up by them.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Would maybe play with the idea of a threesome with Ghost… it’s slipped across his mind more than he’d like to admit.
You and Simon seem to get on great, and as protective as Johnny may be, it turns him on thinking about you being fucked by himself while choking on LT.
He knows it would never happen but it’s a weird fantasy he contemplates. And it’s only an idea, jealousy runs writhe in his veins at the thought of another person touching you like or at all.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He’s confident for a reason- about 7 inches but very thick.
You’ve never been so split in half before.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Craves you every minute of every day. He’s a fiend for your body… even without the sex, your company is his own drug.
On a scale of 0-10, he’s an 11.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
If he’s been going at it, he’ll wait to see if you needed anything before slipping into bed beside you and his chest being used as your personal pillow. He sleeps so soundly since he met you.
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masterlist
#johnny soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#john soap mactavish#soap smut#soap call of duty#soap x reader#soap cod#soapghost#soap mw2#cod smut#cod x reader#cod modern warfare#cod#smut alphabet#smut
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< Little Birdies >
Detective Yoongi x Female Detective Reader, Friends to Lovers
Warnings: Some suggestive bits, mentions of violence, guns, injuries
I hope you like it and thanks for the request!
*******************************************************
“Your friend seemed nice.”, you mumbled after another sip of your coffee. The thought of the strange woman carrying her bra and underwear in her hands while she tiptoed out of the apartment you shared with Yoongi making your stomach turn just a little.
The shutter of the camera made a loud clicking sound. After making sure he got the shot Yoongi turned and smirked at you, “You want her number? You seem more interested in her than I am.”
“No thanks. Not my type.”, you scoffed.
“Mmhm…yeah I forgot…you like assholes named Hoseok that somehow forget to text you for days at a time and spell your name wrong in birthday cards that they give you three weeks too late.”
“Yeah well at least I don’t have a revolving door of different women because I’m a manwhore that can’t go more than three days without getting my dick wet.”
“Ouch…”, he said clutching his chest in fake hurt but still with a smile getting you to giggle along with him.
“Seriously though Y/N, you should dump him. You deserve better.”
“Like you?”, you playfully responded.
“Umm yeah, I’m a great catch.”, he proudly exclaimed before grabbing a few more photos.
You snorted in response, but deep down you knew he was right. He was kind, thoughtful, funny, brave, and on top of that he was incredibly handsome. You’d had a crush on him since his family moved in next door to you when you were both six years old. The two of you became pretty much inseparable while growing up even joining the police force together and getting an apartment to live in. You weren’t entirely sure of his feelings towards you and you were just too scared to make any move that could possibly ruin your relationship. So you kept them a secret all these years.
Yoongi took a few more pictures as a group of men walked out of the restaurant you had been scoping out for the last few hours before placing the camera on the back seat. “I think we got enough for now. Let’s get back to the office and search for any updates.”, he said putting the car in drive.
The thing was that you had no idea how much Yoongi liked you, he knew that he even loved you. It killed him watching you date guys who treated you poorly or didn’t care about you like he did. Even when you dated Taehyung who was actually very nice and caring and never did or said anything to make it seem like he didn’t love you, it still didn’t sit right with him. Yoongi always knew he could love you better, he could love you more.
He hated that he couldn’t bring himself to stay in a relationship longer than a few months because he always ended up feeling like he couldn’t fully commit to them since you were always on his mind. He hated sneaking in random women that he met in bars or through friends just to spend the night pretending that it was you moaning his name in his ear as he thrusted in and out of them. He hated that he could stare down the barrel of a gun like it was nothing, but he didn’t have the courage to really tell you how he felt about you. He dropped hints. He thought he was being very obvious at times. Everyone else could see it, but for some reason you never did. A part of him wondered if you did catch on, but didn’t feel the same way and you just didn’t want to embarrass him or ruin the friendship you guys had. The thought of that made his chest ache.
“Good morning Y/N, where is your other half?”, Jimin smirked while Jungkook giggled next to him. You wanted to say something harsh in return but you reminded yourself that they were good kids and just liked to push your buttons a little. They were rookies and were assigned to work in the same office as you and Yoongi. They were in charge of paperwork and smaller tasks, but mostly they just gave you and Yoongi a hard time.
The thing was you actually didn’t know where he was. He had a date last night, like an actual date and not just a one night stand. You fell asleep on the couch waiting for him to get home and when you got up for work he wasn’t there. The date must’ve gone really well was your first thought. Your second thought was that it must have gone so well that he didn’t even come home last night because he never lets you sleep on the couch. Something about it being bad for your posture so he always carried you to bed. It seemed like someone else had kept his attention.
Before you could answer the two men he came walking into the small office. “I was buying you guys some breakfast, but I guess I’ll just have to eat it myself.”, he said while purposely letting the large bag of food smack Jimin in the back of the head as he walked by.
“Caramel Latte.”, he smiled handing you a to-go cup.
“Thanks… did you forgot the —“
“Blueberry bagel extra toasted with extra cinnamon cream cheese.”, he smirked handing you the still warm bagel.
“Thanks Yoongles.”, you smiled already digging in.
From the side Jungkook mocked in a high pitched voice, “Yeah thanks Yoongles.” Jimin joined in, “Yeah maybe for lunch Yoongles can give Y/N some of his own di—“, he couldn’t finish because Yoongi had taken a half of a bagel and shoved it into Jimin’s mouth to shut him up earning a laugh from everyone in the small office.
Once everyone ate and and got their briefings and you and Yoongi were in your car off to scope out a new location that was suspected of being a mafia hangout, you finally took a moment to ask the question that had been bothering you since the night before.
“So uh your date went well I’m guessing…you know since you never came home last night.”, you slightly cringed at how petty and desperate you sounded. You weren’t his mother so you had no say in when or if he even came home at all.
“It was alright.”, he mumbled.
“Mmm do you think you’ll see her again?”
He shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe. Unless someone else want to go on a date with me instead.”
You smiled, but didn’t say anything else. Instead you turned to look out the window pretending you were taking notes. You missed the way Yoongi looked you up and down.
The truth was he didn’t really have any plans to ever see that woman again. As horrible as it sounds he thought that she could maybe be a distraction for a while, a way to get his brain to stop thinking about you every minute of every day. But for the entire evening all he could think about was the look of sorrow in your eyes when he told you about the date. And right before he was about to leave you dropped the bomb on him that Hoseok had broken up with you that same morning. He felt awful. He offered to cancel the date, but you begged him not to. He was miserable and decided to end it early. He stopped at the convient store and grabbed all of your favorite snacks and a cute little stuffed poodle to add to your collection of stuffed animals he’d gotten you over the years. But when he got home you were already sound asleep on the couch. Normally he would carry you to bed not wanting you to wake up sore, but you looked exhausted and his shoulder had been acting up worrying him that he’d end up dropping you if he tried. So he grabbed another blanket and tucked you in instead before placing a soft kiss to the top of your head and getting in bed himself so that he could get up bright and early and surprise everyone with breakfast in the morning.
You hated working nights. You were so glad when your rookie years were over and you could have first dibs on the more desirable shifts. But they were super backed up on paperwork and you needed a distraction. Yoongi was on another date. He wouldn’t confirm or deny if the date was with the same woman so you chose to assume it was a second date and in Yoongi world being lucky enough to get a second date with him is basically like a marriage proposal so you were feeling a little heavy hearted.
“You two should just tell each other how you feel.”, Jimin spoke from the cubicle across from yours after noticing you staring into space. “Yeah it used to be fun to tease you guys, but now it’s just sad.”, Jungkook added after popping a handful of chips into his mouth.
“What are you guys talking about?”
“Oh come on Y/N…it’s clear that you two like each other. Childhood best friends that have always had a thing for each other, but were always too afraid to say anything in fear of ruining the friendship so they yearn after each other in secret while trying to force love elsewhere.”, Jimin snorted, “It’s a tale as old as time.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s my best friend and there’s no way he’d like me any ways.”, you spat feeling a little irritated.
“Yeah…but do you give all of your friends big puppy dog eyes every time they walk in the room?”, Jungkook questioned which pleased Jimin judging by the smirk on his face.
Rolling your eyes you continued to type away on your computer without giving them a verbal response.
“And Yoongi has it down bad for you.”, Jimin said making you stop your actions.
They snickered back and forth knowing they got you.
Jimin continued, “Seriously Y/N, he buys you food all the time.”
“So? He buys the whole office food.”
“Yeah, but we get the stuff that was 50% off because it was about to expire while you get the premium fancy coffees and the hot fresh sandwiches.”
“So what? I’ve known him since we were kids.”, you shrugged, “I’d do the same for him.”
“Yeah well what about these?”, Jungkook said pointing at a bunch of pencils that were snapped in half on Yoongi’s desk.
“They’re just pencils…I don’t really understand?”
Jungkook laughed, “Yeah they’re all just poor innocent pencils that Yoongi has snapped with his hands because he was squeezing them so tightly in anger every time you get all flirty with the ballistics guys…uh what’s his name? Namjoon, yeah that guy.”
“I do not flirt with him. He’s just nice and has cute dimples.”
Jimin snorted, “Don’t let Yoongi hear you say that. I don’t think we have any room in the budget for more pencils.”
“Okay and like he actually took a bullet for you. I’m not sure I would even sprain my ankle for this guy.”, Jimin sighed pointing over at Jungkook earning quite the glare.
He did have a point with that one. You were both new at the time. You were closing in on a well known and dangerous drug dealer. A shot was fired and you froze. If Yoongi hadn’t acted quickly and stepped in front of you it would’ve hit you right in the forehead. Instead he took the bullet in his left shoulder barely missing a major artery. It’s been nearly seven years and he still hasn’t 100% recovered, still having pain from time to time. You’ve always felt awful about it but that was him just doing his job and protecting his friend, nothing more.
You shook your head, “That doesn’t prove anything. That was just him doing what he was sworn in to do.”
“Yeah well he also turned down that promotion because of you.” The sound Jimin’s hand made when it connected to the back of Jungkook’s head would’ve made you laugh at any other time, but instead his words kept repeating in your head, “What promotion?”
Jimin put his hands up in defense and looked at Jungkook., “This one is on you. Yoongi made us promise not to tell her and I do not want to receive the wrath of a man who can easily snap a pencil with one hand.”
Jungkook swallowed before nodding, “Well a few months ago Yoongi was offered a promotion to captain. But he uh…he turned it down because he didn’t want you out in the streets without him. He said no one could or would protect you like would so he declined it.”
“W-wait, he actually turned down a promotion like that because of me?” Both of the guys nodded but remained silent.
“I’m sorry…I um…I have to go.”, you mumbled grabbing all of your things. You felt sick and you needed to talk to Yoongi and make him go beg for that promotion.
You stood in front of your door for a minute praying that you weren’t going to walk in on anything you didn’t want to see so you took a deep breath and pushed open the door. Thankfully the apartment was empty. You were going to take a quick shower and then decide on your next move. But as you were taking off your shoes the door opened and Yoongi came walking in.
“W-What are you doing here?”, you asked shocked to see him home so early and also (thankfully) alone.
“Well last time I checked I lived here? Wow you must have a fever setting in.”, he chuckled.
“F-fever?”
He grabbed your hand and took you to the kitchen where he started unboxing the soup he had picked up for you, “Yeah Jimin texted me and said you left in a hurry because you weren’t feeling well so I got you some soup and some tea and some medicine and this cute cupcake because cake makes everything better.”, he smiled.
“Did you leave your date for this?”, you questioned feeling a little sicker by the minute.
“Uh yeah, but it’s no big deal.”, he said handing you a bowl of the soup and encouraging you to eat it.
It all started repeating over and over in your mind. The missed dates, the promotion, the bullet. You wondered how much else he’d given up for you.
“No Yoongi, you have to stop doing this.”, you said taking a step back.
“Doing what?”, he laughed, “Taking care of you?”
“Yes Yoongi! You can’t keep skipping out on dates and taking bullets and rejecting promotions. You need to start…you need to start doing what makes you happy. You need to stop focusing on me so much.”
He stood still and licked his lips. His hands were tightly gripping the counter.
“Peppermint or chamomile?”, he asked.
“What?!”
“Do you want peppermint tea or chamomile tea? I got both just in case.”, he asked again already reaching for a mug.
“Yoongi I don’t want any tea! Are you listening? You can’t keep giving up things because of me. I just want you to be happy. I want you to achieve your goals. I want you to find the woman of your dreams and spend the rest of your life together in love and stop worrying about me all the time.”
Yoongi was normally a very stoic slow moving man so when he moved so quickly that he had you caged in against the counter within seconds it somewhat startled you.
He stared deeply into your eyes, something he rarely did, “Y/N did you ever stop to think that maybe THIS is what makes me happy. That maybe I enjoy taking care of you. That maybe my dream is to have you close to me forever. That maybe I found the love of my life when her and her parents came over to introduce themselves to the new neighbors and she came walking up to me with cute pigtails and a gorgeous smile to give me one of her moms famous brownies. Did you ever think that maybe the day I took that bullet I didn’t just do it because it was my job…that I did it because I would rather die myself than have to spend the rest of my life without you. And the promotion? Sure it would’ve been nice. The money could’ve helped. But the risk wasn’t worth it to me. You’re all I need to be happy. I’m done trying to pretend that you’re just a friend to me. I’m done going on dates with other women pretending that they’re you. I love you Y/N and as long as I have you then that’s all I need in this life.”
You hadn’t even realized you were crying until he reached up to wipe away at the tears that had settled on your cheeks. Those were the words you’d wanted to say for so long but we’re too afraid that they wouldn’t be reciprocated.
“I-I love you too Yoongi.”, you whispered before burying your face in his chest and feeling his arms tightly wrap around you to pull you even closer.
You had already felt a million times better, but Yoongi did what he did best and made sure you ate all of the soup and drank the tea. Then you guys decided to dig into the cupcake which you happily shared with him.
“Soooo how did you find out about the promotion?”, he asked before feeding you another bite of cake.
“Ohhh a uh some little birdies told me.”, you mumbled trying not to make eye contact with him.
He nodded, “Mmmhm I see. And do these little birdies have impeccable hair and irresistible smiles?”
“Well… you know…I don’t think the hair of these birdies really matters…and I really don’t think birds can even smile.”, you said trying to distract him, “And you should be nice to these little birdies because they’re the ones that helped get us together.”
He leaned in and gave you a long awaited kiss, “Jimin and Jungkook are still going to be on car washing duty for the next three months.”, he laughed before going in for another kiss, “Which is better than the crime scene cleanup that I originally had planned.”
“But I do have the nicest smile right?”, he asked when you guys were finally done laughing.
You sat in silence deciding to tease him a little bit.
“Riiiggghhhtttt?”, he questioned again with a raise of his eyebrow.
“Weeeelllll Namjo-“
Before you could finish the statement he stuffed the rest of the cupcake in your mouth to stop you and then breaking out into a big gummy smile that always had been and always will be the best to you.
#bts#yoongi x reader#yoongi fanfic#min yoongi#bts x reader#bts fanfic#yoongi fic#yoongi x y/n#yoongi fluff#yoongi angst#bts yoongi#yoongi au
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Most iconic Pei Ming things according to me
Contains spoilers
Hoho
When he had a more romantic and meaningful relationship with his male subordinate than any of the hundreds of women he'd been with.
When Xuan Ji offered him state secrets to win the war and he said he wanted to win by his own skill
Being worshipped as a God of Love
When he was mortal and he slept with so many women that they would curse him to get an STD but he never did
Being very supportive of HuaLian
When he broke his sword and never used another again
Not knowing how to cook
The beef Shi Qingxuan has with him for hanging out with Shi Wudu
When people keep shipping him and Ling Wen
Being one of the Three Tumors but also one of the Four Famous Tales
Being tense around one woman ever and its Yushi Huang
The fact that he treats Pei Xiu like his honorary son
Being a very honest and straightforward dude
The fact that he did take care of Xuan Ji after she disabled herself even if he didnt love her
When Hua Cheng was in his child form on Mt. Tonglu, Pei Ming found him cute and teased him
Not iconic Pei Ming things
Commitment issues :/
Being a manwhore
#tgcf#tian guan ci fu#hob#heaven official's blessing#pei ming#i said it before and ill say it again id let him hit
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Just a thought and no offense but I think Logan just wants to be in love and feel loved in return.
(This isnt proofread and came out as rambling so have fun trying to read it and decipher it! 😅)
So WE ALL know that Logan can be flirty, and that he may have had a period where he was a bit of a manwhore (*cough* 70s Logan *cough*)
I feel like that period though, and any other flings, one night stands, etc whatever was less out of lust and more of a desperation to feel SOME kind of human connection bc the mans so lonely and has been treated like a soldier, a weapon for so long that hes desperate for human connection, even if it makes him end up feeling depraved afterwards. Post-nut clarity wakes him up next to some girl he met at a bar, and guilt sinks its teeth into him because he doesnt even know her name, much less actually LIKE her. The man was born in the 1800s, he may have grown with time but you cannot tell me theres not some inkling of being a gentleman- and wanting to find someone you truly love, hidden in there somewhere. I think overtime he may fall into this routine, believing he needed to be a walking sex magnet, gruff, cocky, whatever have you because hes convinced its the only way he can have a connection with someone, even if its for a few passionate moments under bedsheets, and an awkward "that was nice. Bye"
It only fuels his self hatred, convincing him that he really his just an animal, looking to get his sick desires out, eat, fuck, sleep, survive.
When we see him in the X movies, as a cage fighter he is brutal and rough and he doesnt seem to have a caring bone in his body yet he still manages to find himself caring about this young girl who stowawayed in his trailer, and does help her, even if he acts like this version of logan he created. Someone who doesnt care. But he cares. A lot.
Its not until he meets YOU, that he starts to wonder if he got it all wrong. Kind, beautiful, smart YOU.
I fully believe that logan just wants a partner. One night stands, flings, what have you, were just him lying to himself, desperate to feel something other than hate. After he lost his memories, and he began just wandering, the concept of love was lost on him. And lust wasnt there anymore either. He was approached by women, perfectly fine, pretty women, all the time during his time cage fighting, bars, etc. He turned them all away- completely opposite of logan 30-40 years ago (my timing probs not right on xmen lol) who was convinced the only way he was living was if he had ass next to him every night he went to sleep because he was lonely. This version of logan, lost, angry, wanted nothing to do with people. Some of it the repressed feelings coming out from his past that he doesnt even remember. He was convinced then that he had to be alone. Becoming a lone wolf that bared his teeth at anyone who tried to pet it. Secretly though, deep down although he wouldnt admit it, there was that deep desire, that he always felt in his 200 years, that he just wanted to find his mate. He'd call soulmates bullshit if you asked him, but the moment he meets you, hed know that it was real, and that maybe god cursed (gifted) him the ability of healing and practical immortality just so he could find you. And hed do it over and over again, the pain and suffering and loneliness, if it meant you would be the endgoal.
Logan is a pack animal. He needed a family, to protect, and cherish. When he meets and ends up at the x-men, his demeanor and attitude changes quickly to something similar to a dog that snaps at you when you pet it only for it to whine and whimper "im sorry, please dont hate me, i just dont know how to accept love.". Hes still wary, because hed never KNOWN a family before. Put aside his memory loss, the closest things he had to a family was a creep of a brother, and a woman who said she loved him under false pretenses (i still dont like you kayla even if you say it was real). He barely knew his parents, and even then that was a lie because his father wasnt even his biological father. Yeah, Logans life was pretty damn lonely, so its no wonder the man is cautious of anybody and anything.
The moment you come into his life though, that bitterness, anger, and meaningless flirting goes right out the window. Hes serious about you. Hes usually cautious, nervous around people but he meets you and its almost like he threw all those imaginary rules he has for himself out of the window.
Look at how he was with Jean in the movies. He barely knew the woman, they barely shared ANY lines in the movie yet he was almost completely devoted (dont get me started on that storyline). Trust didnt come easy to the wolverine. And Kayla- their relationship just shows how much he wants love and to be loved. I never seen origins but a lot of gifsets and read the synopsis of the plot, but i think he had a feeling with Kayla he couldnt trust (remember how he says hell never go against his gut again?) But he so badly just wanted that connection he ignored all the warning signs and did everything to build a life with this woman who not only tricked him, but put him through unimaginable pain both physically and mentally. (Look I REALLY dont like kayla but i do feel bad for her because stryker did have her sister captive). I know stryker is the evil mastermind here, but god imagine trying to find love with someone, only for it all to be a farce, even if they claimed they did love you the entire time- the intentions from the very beginning was far from love.
Oh but when he is in love with you. From the moment he met you, it wasnt love at first sight exactly, more like a feeling that you were it. Hes all about you. He sticks around, under the pretense that he just needed to make some money first, doing some missions for charles, keep an eye on rogue. He cant admit its because he wants to stay close to you. Hes like a feral cat taking shelter in your shed. Stays away at first, cautious of your spspspsp, but curious nonetheless. Completely ignores the first bowl of food you put down for it- or so you thought because when you came back it was completely devoured. It takes weeks of food and spspsps before it finally warms up to you, but after that first contact with your hand and its head- good luck ever getting rid of it. Not that youd want to 😊
Logan becomes a shadow to you, once you become something akin to friends. (Its really more than that but no ones addressed it). He teases you and flirts with you, and its something you think he does with everyone, until Ororo tells you that he only does it to you. Sometimes he just sits in your company, other times hes curious about what youre working on, not wanting to start the convo, but does things like leering over your shoulder (which he may or may not be doing just to he close to you and get a good whiff of the smell of your hair). He stresses when you go on missions without him. He slowly opens up about his past to you when he begins to get his memories back. Trusting only you (and maybe charles) with the truth ablut the man he used to be, and still is.
When your feelings finally do come out in the open though, however it happens, that first kiss, the first time you make love, etc etc. Logans a different man. I mean, hes still that cocky, grumpy person we all know and love. But he carried himself differently. Hes confident and wiser, hes comfortable, and hes happy. He found a home, his pack. And maybe after countless conversations about his past, the things hes done, and the comforting words and understandings you give him, he starts to learn that he isnt so bad, because if you love him, YOU, the most wonderful person hes ever known in 200 years, love him despite all of his violence and hatred and slight whoreish tendecies back in the 70s...then he must be alright.
He doesnt need to worry about his past anymore, when hes got you, right there with him, promising a loving future together.
#this was not proofread#so dont judge me#im just spilling out my thoughts#i wanna know logans inner psyche#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#wolverine#logan howlett x you#i just feel like logan just wants love#but is convinced hell never get it#hes convinced hes the worst man on earth so he does things he thinks bad men do#only to make himself feel worse and worse#i also know comic logan is a bit different from movie logan so this is solely based on movie logan#vans daydreams
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for the hope of it all | parts i-iii
pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, choi soobin x you
summary: you've been in love with beomgyu since the first time you saw him, but he sees you as nothing more than a good friend and faithful wingwoman. when he asks you to help him catch another girl, who just so happens to be one of your closest friends, things get complicated.
genre: ANGST, melodrama, romance, smut (mdni), fluff at the end
warnings: smut (mdni), beomgyu is a fucking asshole but he gets better, manipulative!gyu, unprotected sex, creampie, fingering (vaginal), oral (f. receiving), dom!gyu, dirty talk, praise, if i missed anything lmk!
word count: 18.7k
notes: ... hi. literally nobody asked for this, but i realized that part 2 of this work didn't even show up in the tags, so i decided to compile all of the previous parts as well as the ending together. hopefully, you all enjoy this. i'm still struggling, but i pray you all still like it even if it's not me at my best. feedback is always appreciated :) thank you!
part i: august
beomgyu really likes her — like, really— and who can blame him? you certainly can’t. chaewon is a lovely, lovely girl, so it should come as no surprise when beomgyu asks you to, in his words, help him bag her. you’re not one with a particularly strong character at the best of times, so when he practically begs you to convince one of your closest friends that he’s actually not the heartbreaking manwhore he definitely is, you can’t find it in yourself to say no.
it doesn't help that he has enough charisma to charm even the most indifferent target he sets his eyes on, it doesn't help that he's so handsome it makes everyone either want him or want to be him, and it most certainly doesn't help that you've been in love with the boy for the entire time that you've known him. him asking absolutely anything of you would result in you relenting, so when he asks for something as seemingly inconsequential as setting him up with a mutual friend, accepting it is a matter of course. does it hurt your heart to see him pining after someone else when you basically consider him as your soulmate? of course. but his happiness means more to you than your own. if she makes him happy, then so be it.
that's what you tell yourself, at least.
-
beomgyu doesn’t know that you love him — he can’t possibly know — or else he’d treat you differently, right? you don’t want that. you don’t want anything to change, at least not in the disastrous way you anticipate confessing your love to him would go, so you’ve kept your feelings close to your chest to keep him from suspecting anything. you think you’ve gotten pretty good at concealing your feelings. for example, you laugh when he tells you about his sexual escapades, and you don’t hesitate to give him advice on how to woo the girls who are wary of his lasciviousness. you only want to show him the good parts of you, carefully tucking any ugly seeds of jealousy or sadness away from his prying eyes.
the thing is, though, beomgyu is not stupid; and to your never-ending misery, you are not the greatest actress. he can see the crestfallen look on your face for the split second before you can contort your features into a smile. he can hear the tremble in your voice as you force out a laugh. with his godforsaken intuition, he can sense the hesitation in your movement when you playfully push him aside as he over-dramatically recounts his latest raunchy fuck.
all of this has no discernible consequence, though. if anything, your feelings have been his faithful friend and ally when it comes to conspiring with you to land whatever girl piques his interest at the moment. you may not be a prospective partner, but you are a great wingwoman, he’ll give you that much. and that’s exactly what he needs when dealing with chaewon, who has proven to be a particularly tough nut to crack. he doesn’t usually go for people he would consider friends, if only because he doesn’t like dealing with the messy aftermath, but her refusal to look his way is just too entertaining. he has no earthly idea why this cat and mouse game intrigues him the way it does, but he’s hooked like none other, especially because her reasons for pulling away when she’s definitely as attracted to him as he is to her are unclear. maybe she just doesn’t want to seem easy? whatever it is, he likes it. he likes her.
-
“so what's the plan?” soobin asks.
“what do you mean?” you blink as you turn towards him, effectively taken out of your daze. you've been staring at a new instagram picture of beomgyu for at least ten minutes now. there's not much going on in it — it's just a candid taehyun took of him — but you can't stop the yearning you feel in your heart as you wish you had been the one to take it, instead.
“i mean, what's your big plan to ‘help’ him this time?” there’s a trace of resentment in his tone as he puts air quotes around “help”. you know he thinks you're just wasting your time on a boy who will never feel the same way you do, but what can you do? you still love him.
“i’m… i’m just going to talk him up to chae, no big deal,” you say rather unconvincingly, because it is a big deal. it’s the biggest deal in the world to you.
“and what are you gonna say? ‘hey, i know you know beomgyu is garbage, but deep down, he’s actually not garbage even though, even deeper down, he really is?’” his words are sarcastic and, for lack of a better term, downright hateful.
“he’s not garbage, binnie,” you chastise. “he’s actually really sweet once you get to know him.”
“sweet? sweet how, exactly?” he sneers. you just sigh and shake your head. beomgyu is a frequent point of contention in your friendship with soobin, but you don’t know how to overcome it. mostly, arguments surrounding him devolve into conversations like the one you’re having right now.
“he puts on a tough act, but he’s not really like that on the inside,” you insist. “you just don’t know him like i do.”
“and thank god for that,” he snorts, and you frown. you can tell he feels guilty by the way his expression immediately softens.
“hey, i’m sorry,” he says, tucking your hair behind your ear. “i just don’t like to see you hurting.”
“i’m not hurting,” you lie. “i’m totally fine. it’s just… i just want to see him happy.” you actually do mean that last part. beomgyu, though seemingly carefree, is actually a lot more insecure and sensitive than one might think. you know this because he’s shown you that side of him many, many times, which must mean that he trusts you like no one else. you are honored to be the one he feels comfortable with, and even if it never amounts to anything more than that, you’re thankful you get to see how he really is.
“and you think being with a new girl every week will make him happy?” he softly asks, no edge to his voice, but his words hurt even more than they did before.
“it's different this time, binnie. i'm serious. i've never seen him like this before. i think he really likes her.” and the words almost kill you to say, but you mean them, anyway.
“okay,” he relents. “just do what you want to do. i’ll be there for you no matter what.”
“thank you,” you reply with a small smile, before putting your nose back into your phone and staring at beomgyu’s pictures again. you don’t catch it, but soobin sighs as he watches you.
-
you’ve been trying really, really hard. usually, all you have to do is talk about good points about beomgyu, and women fall for it hook, line, and sinker. chaewon is not most women, though, and she makes that abundantly clear with the polite smiles and airy laughs she gives you when you try to bring up beomgyu.
you don't get it. if you had beomgyu’s attention, you’d never let it go, so it makes no sense to you how someone could have it without taking the opportunity to seize it. if it were you, you’d seize it. if it were you, you'd tell him you’ve loved him since the first time you saw him. if it were you — well, it doesn't really matter, does it? because it isn't you. still, you can’t help but dream.
the sentiment that it will never be you becomes clearer and clearer as you watch beomgyu try to initiate conversation with chaewon at his very own house party you are currently attending. you watch from the sidelines as they sit uncomfortably close together, legs flush against one another, as beomgyu wraps his arm around her shoulder and pulls her in to whisper in her ear. you like to think you’re content with him being with her even if it means you’ll be without him, but it’s difficult to feel that way when you actually see it playing out before you. your heart feels like stone weighing heavily in your chest as she giggles at whatever he says, and you think that things might start looking up for him before her smile suddenly melts into a little frown.
without warning, she pries his arm off of her and gives him a perfunctory smile before standing up and smoothing out her skirt. then, she grabs her drink from the coffee table and he's left alone. his previously delighted expression is now filled with irritation and disappointment. you're still staring at him, just trying to get a read on the situation as you're left reeling, and before you know it, he's looking up at you. you're a little embarrassed at being caught, but you realize you can play your intrigue off as objectively analyzing the situation in order to help him better. surely he’ll fall for that, right? every time you say something similar, he buys it with no further questions.
he makes eye contact with you then nods towards his room as a silent plea to talk to him in private. if someone were to ask you how you’re able to deduce all of that from one look alone, you’d probably say it’s because you know beomgyu like the back of your hand — and maybe you do, but it’s like a subconsciously trained reaction more than anything. just as you know what beomgyu will do next, he knows you’ll understand his seemingly innocuous gestures.
you head up the stairs and beomgyu shuts his bedroom door behind you. you prepare to launch into your readymade explanation as to why you were rubbernecking earlier, but he speaks before you can say anything at all.
“why isn’t it working?” he huffs. “did you talk to her like i asked you to?”
“yes, of course i did!” you eagerly insist. you would never lie to beomgyu — well, not about this, at least. your secret feelings are another story.
“then why does she keep rejecting me?” he huffs. you wish you could answer him. truly, you do. you scramble for the right words, but you sincerely can't wrap your head around her logic, or lack thereof.
he’s still waiting for an answer, though, so you think back to the recent conversations you’ve had with soobin, and you realize there’s only one plausible conclusion.
“she just doesn’t know you enough, beoms. if she knew how you really are and how much you like her, she wouldn't act this way; but honestly, she probably thinks you’re just messing with her,” you explain, and you hope beyond hope that he doesn’t take it the wrong way. you don’t want to hurt his feelings by suggesting that his (newly) former playboy ways could be ruining his chances with her.
beomgyu’s feelings, of course, are not hurt. in fact, he just feels more annoyed than anything else. it’s really fucking irritating how he can’t seem to get a read on her or her intentions. she likes him, he can definitely tell, so what’s the problem with him having a messy past? it’s clear that it doesn’t bother you. well, it does, but in a different way. you’d forgive his previous transgressions in a heartbeat if it meant that he’d look your way, so why can’t she be the same? but then, he supposes that comparing someone as lovesick as you are to a normal girl is a bit unfair.
but why are you so lovesick? it’s obvious that he’s handsome and funny, so falling for him is only natural, but your devotion is on another level. not only that, but you’re devoted in spite of the fact that he clearly wants nothing to do with you. in all honesty, it’s almost like you love him even more when you see him chasing after somebody else... then suddenly, the solution is clear. he has to make her think he doesn’t want her; and the easiest way to do that is to pretend he’s interested in someone else. in the same vein, who better else to pretend with than one of chaewon’s closest friends? you’re absolutely perfect for the job.
beomgyu’s demeanor goes from irritated to self-satisfied, and it puzzles you to no end. maybe he figured out a way to show his true feelings for her? but then why is he looking at you with such intensity? he’s never looked at you this way in the many years that you’ve known him. wait, did he realize something? please, god, don’t let that be the case. you really don’t think you can —
and your train of thought is stopped when beomgyu strides over to you and locks the door behind you. you look up at him with confusion in your eyes before you finally register what that intense gaze of his really is: predatory.
suddenly, his lips are on yours and you’re holding back a squeal. your eyes widen as he cups his big hands around your cheeks and pulls you in even closer. he tastes like alcohol, which is to be expected, but there's a certain uniqueness to his taste that you can't really put into words; and you’re able to taste it even more as his tongue enters your mouth. you groan at the action, and surprisingly, he does, too.
you always assumed kissing beomgyu would make you feel like everything was finally right in the world, and it does — it really, sincerely does — but there’s also a certain spark you were not anticipating. something a lot more fiery, and it shoots straight to your core as your tongues tangle together lasciviously. beomgyu seems to know this, and he smirks into the kiss before trailing his warm mouth down your neck. you gasp at the sensation, which just makes him laugh.
his hands have traveled from your cheeks to your chest, one staying there to grab at your tits while the other one carelessly finds its way up your skirt.
“so wet,” he whispers in awe when he rubs his fingers against your soaked panties. “is this all because of me?” you feel your cheeks warm and you’re stammering out your next words.
“w-well, i —”
“is this all because of me?” he repeats, and you give him a feeble nod before covering your face in shame.
“cute,” he snickers, and your previously warm cheeks are now scorching to the touch.
he moves your panties to the side and rubs against your sensitive clit, which sends pulsations through your entire body, but that’s nothing in comparison to how you feel when he presses a finger into your dripping hole.
“you’re so tight,” he whispers, lust clearly written all over his face at the prospect of being in your pussy relatively soon; but he wants to enjoy this, he wants to enjoy the way your face screws up as he presses his finger so deep, he’s hitting places previously untouched. he slowly pulls it out, grazing your most sensitive spot with ease before adding another digit in, making you almost groan from the stretch. you bite your lip to avoid making such a sound, but beomgyu pays your attempted discretion no mind as he starts to hammer his fingers into you at a brutal pace.
it doesn’t take long for you to come undone around his skilled fingers, and once you’re done pulsating around him, he takes them out for a taste.
“so good,” he remarks, and though your breathing is heavy and your eyes are hazy, you still have it in you to feel embarrassed. he takes your smaller hand in his and leads you to his messy bed, carelessly sweeping every loose item — a t-shirt here, an old cd there — off of it in one go. he lays you down and hungrily licks his lips once he strips you down until you’re fully unclothed.
you’re feeling extremely small in this moment. you know beomgyu has had his pick of the litter when it comes to women, so you can’t help but wonder how you fare in comparison to the literal bombshells he’s been known to take home. mostly, though, you wonder how you compare to chaewon, as awful as that sounds. if you really think about it, there’s no comparison to be made, really. she’s her, and you’re you. what else is there to say, honestly? still, you’re comforted by the thought that you are the one underneath him right now, not her, and he does not seem disappointed in the slightest if the tent in his jeans means anything at all.
before you can think too much about it, he’s practically tearing his shirt off and you can’t help but stare. his torso is lean and a little paler than the rest of him, probably due to the lack of sun. objectively speaking, he’s no greek god or anything similar, but to you, he’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. if he notices your awed reaction, he doesn’t say anything or really care, because he is simply too busy studying how perfect you seem to look under his dimmed lights. again, he is delighted at the prospect of being inside of you very soon.
he unzips his jeans and slides them, along with his boxers, off of his slim thighs and you can finally see him completely. his cock is a red so deep it’s nearly purple, with evidence of his lust leaking out of its flared tip. you’ve heard a lot about beomgyu’s physique from stories, his and his hookups’ alike, but nothing prepared you for the real thing. you’re not a virgin or anything, but you’re still unsure of how you’re meant to fit him inside of you. and you have no idea how you’re supposed to approach the subject.
beomgyu does not seem to understand your internal battle, though, because he wastes no time in lining himself up with your entrance. before he pushes in, though, he drags his cock along your soaking wet seam just to coat himself in your slick. when he feels he can’t take any more of his own teasing, he begins to push in.
“j-jesus christ!” he exclaims as he tries to push his tip through your entrance. “are you a virgin or some shit?”
“nngh — n-no! i-i’m not. i’ve — mmh — i’ve had boyfriends before,” you say as best as you can while dealing with the feeling of him literally fucking you open. you’re worried he’s not enjoying himself in light of his outburst and his decidedly strained expression.
“god, s-so tight,” he drawls. “feels so goddamn good.” he draws his hips back before pushing in again, further this time, and his words of praise seem to comfort you somehow, because he’s able to sheathe himself completely in you.
he groans when he feels your gummy walls wildly contracting around him — unsure of what to do with the pleasurable intrusion and working tirelessly to simultaneously push him out and pull him in. you, on the other hand, feel nothing but full. you’re so full you ache, so after a few moments of adjusting, your watery eyes are filled with an insatiable sense of pleading.
“you okay?” he asks, actually somewhat sweetly.
“y-yes — ah — i just feel w-weird,” you say. “feel so — fuck — full.” your seemingly innocent words drive him to the brink of insanity, so with reddened eyes, he grabs your hips so hard, you know he’ll leave marks in his wake, and without warning he begins drilling into you.
his thrusts are not calculated or intentional in any sense — they’re rough and fast and show his desperation. why he’s so desperate, he has no idea. beomgyu is sleazy even on a good day, so women come a dime a dozen, but he feels an unquenchable need he feels will only be satisfied if he continues to fuck you like a man gone mad. so he does.
your breasts bounce with every thrust and while he wants to grab one, his thirst only makes him want to go even deeper in you, so he employs his hands to manhandling you into a mating press. the new position has him going even deeper, and you can feel him hitting your cervix with each nasty snap of his hips. tears at the sheer feeling of being overwhelmed spring in your eyes and you have to clamp your hand over your lips to keep from crying out.
“let me hear you,” he pleads while gently moving your hand from your mouth and not-so-gently fucking you like a breeding whore, and he’s not sure if he’s saying it because he wants to make sure chaewon hears or just because he desperately wants to hear you for himself.
“fuck!” you exclaim, tears flowing freely down your cheeks. “s-so big!”
“oh, sweetheart,” he rambles, “who were you fucking before? they didn’t deserve this tight little pussy. they didn’t fuck you like you deserve to be fucked — like a good little whore.”
“‘m n-not a whore,” you tearily insist, somehow convinced that he means his words. you’re not completely inexperienced, but you’re not a whore, right?
but your innocence only makes him wanna ruin you more, claim you completely.
“you’re taking cock so well, but you wanna tell me you’re not a whore?” he snickers meanly, and you feel so delirious, you find yourself agreeing with what he says.
the lewd sounds of skin meeting skin and the sharp knocking of the headboard fill the room, and the heat you feel building up inside of you has you seeing stars. beomgyu pulls you in for a sloppy, wet kiss as he finally lets one of your legs down in order to snake his hand against your clit, which he languidly rolls in the midst of his pistoning in and out of you.
“are you gonna come for me?” he asks as his lips part from yours. “are you gonna come all over my cock?”
“y-yes, please,” you sob. “wanna come!”
“then do it, baby. let go for me,” and with the way he’s rolling your clit while fucking into you, you can’t help but comply.
he hisses when he feels you contracting around him, tightening up even more than before and pulling him in impossibly deeper. that’s all it takes, really, before he comes undone himself and sprays his thick, hot load into your spasming pussy.
he collapses on top of you, and both of you take a few moments just to catch your breath before he pulls out of you with a wince. he’s absolutely enthralled by the way the mix of both of you two’s cum leaks out of you as soon as he does so. he’s almost tempted to swirl it back in and plug you up, but his rational side stops him before he can do anything he’ll regret.
“are you on the pill?” he asks, and you nod.
“good, go ahead and get a plan b, too. just in case,” he says with a quick kiss to your forehead, and you nod with a delirious smile even in spite of his pedantic words. you’re just so happy you got to sleep with him, be closer to him.
“oh, i almost forgot to actually tell you,” he laughs. “i think fucking you will make chaewon jealous. i think we put on a pretty good show tonight, don’t you?”
and your heart and your hope and your dignity shatter like nothing else.
“y-yeah,” you try to reply with a laugh, but it sounds more forced than anything else you’ve ever heard in your life. “it was a really good show.”
-
“you slept with him?!” soobin asks, and he seems beyond frustrated. if you had the guts to look him in his eyes, though, you’d notice just how much hurt is in them.
“y-yeah…” you mumble, face downcast.
“why? why would you do that? you’re just going to be even more hurt!” he exclaims, and you shrink into yourself even more, not out of fear, but out of pure shame.
“i don’t know! it all just happened so fast, a-and i, i don’t know, i just couldn’t stop myself,” is all you manage to say. soobin groans at your words.
“you do realize that getting over him is going to be even harder for you now, right?” he asks, and you finally look up at him for a second before looking back down and nodding, and it’s almost like you’re a child who got caught doing something they knew was wrong.
“i know, and i’m sorry,” you mutter, still struggling to make eye contact, but soobin catches your timidity and his gaze is softened as he pulls your face up to look at him.
“you don’t have to apologize to me,” he sighs. “i’m just worried about you, you know?”
“i know, i know. but i’m still really sorry.” and you don’t have to elaborate on why that is because you both know that he’ll be the one helping you pick up the pieces when this situation inevitably breaks your heart even more than it’s already broken, if that’s even possible.
“it’s alright,” he says, pulling you in for a hug that’s so warm and kind you almost burst into tears. “you’ll be alright. i’m here.”
-
this is a bad idea. soobin would yell at you if you told him what you’re up to, but you don’t want to think about that right now. all you want to think about is how much better you’ll feel after you get your secret feelings off of your chest. up until now, the fear of rejection has made you too afraid to tell beomgyu how you really feel, but things can’t get much worse than they are at present, can they? it’s only been a few days since your hookup with beomgyu, but your love is eating you alive and you doubt that you’ll be able to hold it in for much longer.
things will probably go badly, and he’ll probably be completely blindsided, but the thought of continuing to lie to beomgyu’s face hurts more than anything else ever could. even more than the pain you feel every day that he unconsciously hurts your feelings. maybe this will ruin your friendship, but you love beomgyu, and he loves you, even if it’s not in the way that you want. all you can do is hope that your friendship is strong enough to overcome this.
with that mindset, you find yourself at his doorstep on this particularly cool summer night. you know he’s home because you can hear the faint sounds of whatever movie he’s watching emanating from his door. before you can lose your nerve, you begin to rapidly knock. before long, you hear the shuffling of feet nearing you, and you almost bolt then and there, but he’s quick to open the door when he realizes it’s just you.
“what are you doing here?” he asks, agitation apparent. oh god, were you interrupting something? what if he was working? what if he was sleeping? you should've texted before just showing up unannounced.
“i-i’m sorry, are you busy?” you ask sheepishly.
“... no,” he says after a slight pause, and he opens the door to let you in. you sit yourself on his couch, posture ramrod straight due to how fucking uncomfortable you are, and you try to steady your breathing as you fiddle with your fingers.
“is this about chaewon?” he asks, breaking the silence, and your heart aches at the trace of hope in his words.
“n-no, nothing like that. i just —”
“is there any update on that?” he cuts in before you can even get your words out.
“oh, um, not really,” you reply before remembering that something has happened, but you’ve been so out of it, it genuinely didn't occur to you to tell him. “wait, actually, she mentioned that you seem different lately, but she, uh, she’s still… well, to be honest, she’s —”
“what? she’s still what?” and there’s no patience for your rambling to be seen.
“she’s still not interested in dating you,” you mumble, unable to look him in the eyes when you say it. he’s completely silent after your words, and when you do finally gather enough guts to actually look at him, you really, really wish you had just kept your face down. because he’s pissed.
“are you fucking with me? she really said that?” he asks, and you nod.
“why didn’t you tell me earlier?!” and you feel so disoriented at the way things are unfolding that you can barely croak out a reply.
“i-i forgot.”
“you forgot? jesus christ, if it’s not about her, then why are you here?” he seems angrier than you’ve ever seen him, but his words get you to finally remember what you’re here for.
“i just… i needed to talk to you,” you say pleadingly, looking into his eyes as you try your hardest to give yourself the strength to be honest with him.
“about?”
it takes all of the courage in your poor little heart to choke out your next words.
“beomgyu, you know, for the longest time, i’ve —”
“i know,” he impatiently snaps. you’re unsure of what he’s referencing, but you do know he has no idea about the feelings you’ve kept hidden for so long.
“no. no, you don’t know, actually,” you argue, brave face on, but voice shakier than a leaf. “i just need to tell you that i —”
“that you love me? i know, that’s what i just fucking said,” he sighs irritatedly. “why else would you help me? ‘cause you love me so much, right?” he knows it’s wrong to take his frustration out on you, but you’re so pathetic, you make it too damn easy. you’re the perfect outlet for him to unleash all of his anger.
“you… you knew? this entire time?” you ask incredulously. you feel like you’re suffocating in the face of his callousness and disgust, and the room feels smaller than it did before.
“i mean, yeah. it was kind of obvious,” he muses. your cheeks feel so hot you’re sure you’re on the brink of immolation. it was obvious? if it was obvious, then why did he keep you around in the first place? because you’re useful when it comes to helping him get his dick wet?
“so… so why did you…” you trail off, still finding it inconceivable that the beomgyu you know and love could possibly know about your feelings; and not only are they unreciprocated by him, which you could understand and respect, but they’re nothing more than a fucking joke and means to an end. the end in question being burying himself into other women.
“why did i act like i didn’t know? because i don't feel the same way,” he answers, and you already knew it and knew it well, but that doesn't make it any more digestible to hear.
“y-yeah, but you — how could you still sleep with me? how could you do that to me?” you ask, lips wobbling and voice cracking. you can't believe this. you won't believe this. you have to be misunderstanding something somewhere. there's just no way this is it.
“because it was easy,” he says with a shrug, and your heart shatters into a million pieces.
because it was easy.
easy. what a funny word. you don’t think you even fully comprehend what it means in this context, actually. easy, easy, easy, but what part of this has been easy for you? every day, it’s like you’re killing yourself by trying to twist into what he wants you to be. a friend, a confidant, and now, even a lover. but lover is being too generous, isn't it? because he does not love you, not even as a friend, and this discovery becomes clearer and clearer as you think back to every time he’s shown you just how little he cares.
soobin’s litany of warnings come back to haunt you with a vengeance.
he’s just using you.
he’s garbage.
he’s just gonna hurt you.
and though you know soobin will take no pleasure in being correct, you can't help but dread the “i told you so” you know he will never be mean enough to say, but will inevitably think.
“i thought we were friends,” you say incredulously, dread and anxiety pooling in the deepest recesses of your heart. “i thought you cared about me”
and he doesn’t shrug or anything because he doesn’t really need to, but he might as well seeing as how it clearly makes no difference to him. and this is finally how you come to understand that beomgyu is just as bad as everyone says. maybe even a little worse. and he will continue to act like a sociopath for as long as you let him.
“i-i love you, i really do. but no fucking way. i won’t sit here and let you treat me like shit,” you declare, tears flowing down your cheeks so quickly and steadily you’d probably be unable to wipe them away even if you tried. luckily or unluckily, you don’t even have the strength to find out.
“you’re going to regret this,” you whisper, and it’s said with such certainty that for a moment, he almost believes you. almost, but not quite.
either way, you’re booking it out of his door before he can even reply.
-
this is everything beomgyu ever could’ve asked for. chaewon is sitting next to him on his bed, eyes dark with lust as she unceremoniously grabs the end of her top and tugs it off. she's beautiful, no doubt about that, but he feels more and more like something is incredibly wrong.
she leans in to press her lips onto his, but he flinches, scooting almost imperceptibly further away from her on the bed. she falters for a moment before sighing and crawling on all fours to situate herself between his legs. she begins to unzip his pants and tug on his waistband before he frantically stops her.
“w-what are you doing?” he asks, voice shaking.
“blowing you, what does it look like i’m doing?” she replies with a roll of her eyes. “i just wish i had known you wouldn’t be into kissing or, like, actual foreplay, but whatever.” she continues her movement to pull his pants down before he stops her again.
“what’s wrong?” she asks curiously, before finally realizing that he is, to what would normally be his eternal shame, completely soft. her mouth drops in shock, and in another universe, beomgyu has enough energy to care. but not in this one. in this one, his eyes are teary as he feels an implacable sense of dread he can’t seem to shake off.
“oh god,” she says with conviction, pulling herself back up and running one hand through her hair. “i knew this would happen.”
beomgyu, on his part, looks somewhat out of it, but her words bring him back to earth.
“knew what would happen?” he asks tentatively, sniffling for reasons unknown to him while he tries not to let his tears run over his waterlines.
“i knew you’d act like this because of her,” she says begrudgingly.
his eyebrows furrow for a second, not because he doesn’t already know who she’s talking about, but because he doesn’t understand the correlation between you and the situation he presently finds himself in.
“think about it,” she says slowly, condescendingly. “who do you trust, like, actually? and i’m not just talking about with getting girls, but with everything.” beomgyu is silent as he tries to comprehend what she's saying, but he’s nothing if not slow on the uptake in regards to human emotion.
“oh, beomgyu, come the fuck on,” she sighs in frustration. “i mean, when you were stressed about that presentation for your job, who did you call? yunjin told me all about it. she said you spent hours reciting a 15 minute presentation to the girl you supposedly don’t give a fuck about.” ah. he remembers that night, actually, and he remembers it well. he called you in a panic, so you brought over some dinner because you knew he was stressed, but he was so wound up that you didn’t leave and even insisted that he practice with you in order to give him feedback. he spent the whole night repeating the same speech over and over again, but you sat patiently and encouragingly as he repeated the boring, inconsequential drivel to you. you never complained, not even once, and you didn’t ask him for any compensation in the form of him doing something — anything — similar for you, either. even if you had, he realizes, he wouldn't have given any to you, anyway.
“that’s…”
“and that’s not even all of it. who’s the first one you look for when you walk into a room? and when something good happens, who do you tell first? not anybody else, and i know for a fact that it’s not me, never will be,” she says bitterly. every new point slashes at his heart and ego.
and suddenly, things start making sense, albeit in the worst possible way. beomgyu loves you. his trust and dependence on you all make an awful sort of sense, but in a way, it’s relieving to finally be able to put a name to this feeling. his eyes still feel hot, but not so much because something feels wrong, but because things finally feel right for the first time in forever. he loves you, has loved you, and will continue to love you.
her words resonate with him so deeply, she can read it all over his face. it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he finally understands, but he’s still missing an important fact. the most important fact, even.
“yeah, i guess you finally get it now. you have feelings for her. and the worst thing is: you treat her like shit.” his eyes widen and the tears that were just threatening to escape are completely let loose. how could he only come to this realization after he already effectively stomped on your heart and your pure intentions? after you’ve made it clear that you don’t want anything to do with him anymore? and he has nobody but himself to blame, really; he practically shoved you away over and over and over again.
“i-i didn’t mean to —”
“sure, of course you didn’t,” she says with a sarcastic smile. “whatever makes you feel better for fucking over the girl who’s been in love with you for years.”
-
beomgyu may not know much about the inner workings of interpersonal relationships, but he does know he needs to see you, and he’s smart enough to understand that he needs to apologize.
but beomgyu has never apologized for anything in his life — not unless you count the times his mother made him grit them out as a child when he would objectively do something wrong, but this is another matter entirely. nobody will be holding his hand as he does it, and he’s not even really sure where to start. but he knows he has to try.
surely there’s a better place to try than at the bar where he currently finds himself, but then, there’s no time like the present. not to mention that he has a sneaking suspicion that you're avoiding all of your mutual friends’ get-togethers for the sole purpose of avoiding him. if the blocking of all of his socials wasn’t enough, the blocking of his phone number certainly was.
it’s not necessarily fate’s fault that he finds himself here, either. he heard from a friend (chaewon) that you’d be here tonight. he sees you from across the bar looking lively and chatty, and he prays that the good mood you seem to be in will help soften the upcoming conversation with him. to his luck, you step out of the bar to take a call, so he slides from his seat with an open beer bottle in tow, and follows you outside.
your back is turned, and he doesn’t quite hear what you’re talking about over the phone, but he does catch a giggle and a name, soobin’s, and it makes his heart ache. when you hang up, you turn to head back into the bar, but you’re met with his figure.
“h-hey,” he says, and he wants to smack himself for the casual greeting he still managed to fuck up.
your eyes widen for a moment before they go blank, and you’re pushing past him without a response.
“i need to talk to you,” he says, voice trembling as he grabs the back of your elbow, which you snatch out of his grip like his touch is poison.
“about?” you ask curtly, barely even deigning to turn your head to look at him. you have never been so hostile towards anyone, let alone him, and it's making him spiral.
“i’m sorry. i’m just really, really sorry,” he desperately apologizes. you’re silent for a few moments as you turn to completely face him with your arms crossed, and he’s trying his damndest to read your expression, but he can’t quite make it out.
“okay… and?” is all you say in response, and he fumbles over his words at your nonchalance.
“a-and, um, i —”
“you know what?” you cut in with an impatient sigh and a wave of your hand. “i don’t care anymore. you’ve said enough.”
“but i —”
“i don’t care, beomgyu.” and his name is said in such disgust that it sounds to him like it’s a chore for you to spit out. you’re about to turn and reenter the bar when his next words come tumbling out.
“i think — i know — i love you,” he says urgently, and your previously unreadable gaze turns into one of pure, sheer amusement. you’re so amused, you laugh, even.
“what the fuck are you talking about?” you say between giggles.
“i-i didn’t realize it before, but i talked to chaewon, and she even said that i’ve probably always felt that way about you. i know i didn’t show it, but i really do love —”
“okay, just stop. stop it right there, beomgyu. i’m only going to say it just this once, so listen carefully, okay?” you ask, and he fervently nods.
“okay. you don't know the first thing about love.” and he goes to interrupt you, but you don’t let him. “loving somebody means you put their feelings above your own. what the hell would you know about that?”
“i’m… i know i was wrong, b-but i —”
“beomgyu,” you say exasperatedly. “i’m so glad you’re finally reaching enlightenment, and i’m so happy i was cannon fodder for you to use to get there. but i just really, really don’t care anymore, okay? do what you want with whoever you want, but don’t bother me about it anymore, alright?” and he’s so stunned he can’t even form words, but you just shake your head and prepare to leave again. unconsciously, he goes to grab you again, which you consequently dodge, and he thinks this is the most rejected he’s ever felt before realizing it’s not over yet. it’s only truly over when you grab his bottle from him and splash its contents across his face before throwing the bottle back into his arms and leaving for good.
part ii: cardigan
beomgyu can’t tell if his eyes are stinging from the alcohol you splashed in his face or from the sheer humiliation he feels. maybe from both. probably from both. either way, tears fall as a result. he probably looks like a madman as he stumbles along the concrete on his walk home from the bar. he still has the beer bottle you shoved at him in his hand, and luckily for him, there’s still enough in there to help him get a little tipsier than he already is. he needs it, too, because your words play like a broken record in his head.
you don’t know the first thing about love.
do what you want with whoever you want, but don’t bother me about it anymore.
each and every word feels like you knew exactly the right thing to say to pierce his heart, but he knows better than to think you cared enough to think about it to the point of choosing them so carefully. no, the words you said were what you really felt at the moment. you didn’t even have to try to hurt him, you just had to tell the truth. somehow, that hurts even more.
he replays the entire debacle in his head and tries to think of what he could have said differently. to be honest, there are a lot things, but he has a feeling that no matter what he said, you would’ve reacted the same exact way. if he really thinks about it, maybe some small, ugly part of him hoped you’d forgive him as easily as you have always been wont to do, but it's clear to him now that he was just being delusional. maybe he was still under the impression that you’d be as easy to please as ever, but with how repulsed you seemed to be by his words, his touch, him, he has no such expectations anymore.
he now finds himself at an impasse. where does he go from here? you made it clear that you’re done with him, but he still loves you. you don't want his love anymore, so where is that love supposed to go? the only person he feels like he can ask no longer wants to speak to him. he’s unsure if he wants to turn to you because you’d understand, or just because you’re the only person he trusts.
needless to say, the walk home from the bar is a long one, indeed. one filled with pensive silence, save for the steady sound of swigs being taken from his bottle and the occasional sob.
-
most people in your friend group have no idea what transpired between you and beomgyu, but the smart ones, like taehyun, know something must have happened by the way you avoid hangouts in which beomgyu is present like the plague. he doesn’t pry when you bail, though, for which you are thankful. a few weeks pass before you have the epiphany that beomgyu has already ruined enough, and you won’t let him ruin your friendships, too.
when you show up to taehyun’s for his celebratory house party in lieu of a promotion at his job, everyone cheers when you walk through the door, which makes your cheeks heat up, and you feel so relieved that your friends are still the same even when it feels like it’s been an eternity since you’ve seen them. taehyun pulls you in for a hug, and you eagerly reciprocate it.
“glad you made it,” he grins.
“i wouldn’t miss it for the world,” you say with a smile, which just makes him beam even more.
you’re pleasantly surprised to note that beomgyu is nowhere to be seen, and you relax for a bit before falling into the familiar rhythm that is being with your friends. you missed this. you missed them. and it seems like they’ve missed you just as much if their excited chatter is anything to go by. you were, admittedly, a little tense when you first came in, but all of that melts away as you join in on the banter and pure fun that is being with the people you love the most.
although beomgyu is nowhere to be found, soobin still never leaves your side. he watches the door like a hawk, and you feel at ease with the knowledge that he’s beside you regardless of the outcome. so what if beomgyu shows up? you belong here, and you have soobin and the rest of your friends with you. knowing beomgyu like you do, his passing fancy has almost certainly ended and he will ignore you like the son of a bitch that he is.
with this notion in mind, you are not at all prepared for the way the aforementioned boy slams taehyun’s front door open and drunkenly stumbles in. the room gets quiet after he does so, and everyone stares as he scans the room with blank, reddened eyes. when his gaze catches yours, you break eye contact almost immediately, opting to turn to soobin with what you hope is an unbothered look, not to keep up any pretenses with him, but because you don’t want anyone other than him to know how uncomfortable you are. in turn, he grabs your hand and laces his fingers with yours, giving your hand a small, reassuring squeeze, and he does not move to unlace his hand with yours even after he does it.
while you’re trying to be discreet, beomgyu is anything but as he continues to stare at you with a dumbed out look on his face. the intense atmosphere is only broken when taehyun stands up to greet him with a side hug and a pat on the other boy’s back.
“hey, gyu. i’m happy you’re here,” he says.
“mm,” beomgyu replies, eyes still never leaving you and lingering at the way you and soobin have your hands joined, and taehyun’s casual side hug turns into him having to support beomgyu’s weight as beomgyu almost falls over while standing.
“you’re really fucking drunk,” taehyun murmurs with a wrinkled nose as he smells the alcohol on beomgyu’s entire person. “c’mon, you can relax in my room for a bit.”
beomgyu can only nod as he leans on taehyun for stability and walks towards taehyun’s room. his gaze on you only breaks when taehyun shuts the door behind him, and if your friends didn’t know that something odd was afoot with the two of you, they certainly seem to know now as they look between taehyun’s room and your awkward figure.
“you okay?” a soft, sweet voice whispers. you turn to soobin and muster up a forced smile and a nod. his hand is still holding yours and he soothingly brushes his thumb over your hand in order to try to calm you down. somehow, it actually kind of works.
-
you’re here. beomgyu thought he may be hallucinating or something just because you seem to haunt him everywhere he goes now, but he knew it was the real thing when he saw how uncomfortable you were. he knows this because in his delusions, you’re either flatout rejecting him or, in the good ones, you’re forgiving him. those are the ones he likes the most, but he hates the sobering aftermath when he realizes they are, in fact, only figments of his imagination.
so now he sits on taehyun’s bed in a daze as he focuses on the door. you’re so close that his heart physically aches in yearning as it insists on closing the distance between you two, but taehyun’s sharp look stops him from doing anything too terribly stupid.
“this has got to stop,” taehyun halfway pleads, halfway scolds.
“what does?” beomgyu asks dumbly.
“showing up everywhere drunk as hell,” he replies. “look, i don’t know what’s going on, but i know it has to do with her, and i know you’re probably — definitely — in the wrong.”
beomgyu has enough shame to hang his head and purse his lips in response.
“i don’t know what you did, i don’t know what you said, but whatever it was, i know you’re not making any of it better by getting fucked up every night. stay in here, sober up, and only come out when you’re ready to act like an adult.” and with that, taehyun stalks over to the door before shutting it behind him.
beomgyu is not stupid, but he’s not exactly emotionally intelligent, either; so while taehyun’s words sting, they’re not enough to pull him out of his pity party. all he seems to care about in this moment is being next to you, but he remembers the scene of your hands locking with soobin’s. are you seeing each other now? that can’t be it. the heart does not move on that quickly, but maybe yours did. maybe you buried your feelings for him as deep as they could go in the face of the seemingly repulsive confession of love he gave to you. maybe you belong with somebody like soobin, who’s so gentle and caring. soobin definitely listens to you, cherishes you, treats you gently. maybe beomgyu didn’t exactly understand it before now, but he really understands it at this moment: soobin loves you.
maybe, in a way, he always sort of knew. maybe he felt some sort of sick satisfaction at the way you kept your eyes trained on him while soobin was training his eyes on you. maybe he felt some 12-year-old boy kind of pride at the way you seemed to put him before anyone else in spite of such a viable prospective suitor, but any contentment he may have felt is flushed away at the anxiety of you having somebody so good right besides you — somebody who is obviously much better than him.
do you feel the same way? no, even before that, are you okay? he knows he hurt you really badly. are you still hurting? he wants to know. he has to know. so before he can talk himself out of it, he’s stumbling towards the door.
-
things are still pretty tense when taehyun walks out, but they begin to calm down after everyone asks if beomgyu is alright and taehyun answers in the positive, and you think you might just be in the clear before realizing things are never that easy. beomgyu stumbles out of the door and his gaze immediately locks on you.
“hey,” he says a little too loudly. the room is quiet, and though he didn’t say who he was addressing, it’s obvious it’s you with the way he’s staring so intensely.
“hey,” he repeats even louder this time. to his chagrin, soobin is still next to you, but that doesn’t mean he can’t slide into the open space on the other side of you. of course, propriety would say that he shouldn’t, but propriety means nothing to beomgyu at this moment. not when he’s so drunk he smells like rubbing alcohol, and not when he’s so openly desperate he looks like a man gone mad.
with no grace to be seen, he plops down next to you, and even through your clothes and his jeans, his legs against yours still feel like they burn you. you try to move to avoid his touch so aggressively that poor, large soobin is squeezed into the armrest even more; and it’s all for naught, anyway, because beomgyu just scoots himself even closer.
“how’re you?” he slurs, and though everyone tries their best not to seem like they’re eavesdropping, they most certainly are. no matter how hard they try not to stare, their gazes keep flicking towards the two of you and their voices are a little more hushed. you’re beyond embarrassed, but beomgyu doesn’t seem to mind their looks one bit.
“beomgyu…” you whisper exasperatedly, accepting your fate as the spectacle that you currently are and trying to nip it in the bud with your obvious distaste for the situation.
“i jus’ wanna know how you are,” he says desperately as he senses your clear rejection, but to his eventual regret, he doesn't stop. you try to keep your voice low as you say your next words.
“good. look, i really don’t wanna do this with you right now. i have nothing to say to you and you don’t have anything to say to me that i actually want to hear, so i think it’s best if —”
“but i told you i love you!” he exclaims, and everyone around you ceases to pretend that they aren’t listening. how can they even pretend when he’s quite literally yelling? you don’t notice a thing, though. you’re too absorbed in the melodrama unfolding before you, in which you are in the starring role. “i… i jus’ love you so much, i —” and before he can get out his next words, you’re swiftly standing up with soobin in tow and thanking taehyun for the invite while shuffling out of the front door.
-
beomgyu is devastated when you leave. he takes to walking outside to taehyun’s balcony as he lets tears roam freely down his reddened face. he thinks he’s alone before he hears somebody opening the door and shutting it behind them.
“do you seriously still not get it?” chaewon sneers.
“get what?” he sniffles, and she lets out a long-suffering sigh before she gets out her next words.
“you love her, right? and you miss her?” she asks slowly, as if he’s so stupid, he wouldn’t understand her if she said it any other way.
“of course i do,” he snaps, not appreciating the condescension in her tone, but all the bite is lost in translation because he looks nothing short of pathetic as his tears steadily fall.
“right. you love her, you miss her, you want to talk to her. you, you, you. it’s still all about you and what you feel, but what about what she feels?” she asks, and he falters at her words. “all you’re doing is making things hard on her, and i can promise you that this ‘woe-is-me’ shit you’re doing right now isn’t gonna change her mind.”
he thinks back to how you acted when you loved him — how you bent over backwards to try to conceal your feelings so as not to inconvenience him. how everything you did was to make life easier on him, no matter how difficult it was for you. yes, you loved him, but you did it in a way he could accept. you did things his way, and for so long; and all he’s done in return is demand your love in his way, yet again.
“so what do i do?” he earnestly asks. “how do i get her back?”
“... after what you've done to her? you don't,” she answers after a pause, and he deflates at her words. she’s right, of course.
he thinks about how he’d feel if you treated him the way he treated you. he feels like his heart is dying in his chest just at the memory of you rejecting him, but to be rejected so cruelly? what do you even do with yourself then? he wonders how people live with that kind of hurt, but then, you did it for so long and were even able to paste a smile on your face as you did it. he remembers when he thought that you were a horrible actress because of how he could still see through you despite how bothered you obviously were by his actions, but only now does he understand how much resilience it must've taken. somehow, it just makes him miss you even more. makes him love you even more.
-
beomgyu is a pervert. a sick-in-the-head, nasty, freakish, bottom-of-the-barrel, lowdown, dirty pervert. that's the only way he can accurately describe himself in this moment, and the guilt is strong, but not stronger than his need to let this dream play out the way he wants it to. and the way he wants it to goes like this:
your naked body is splayed across beomgyu’s bed as you watch him undress with watery eyes.
“i need you, gyu,” you whimper as tears threaten to fall.
“shh, baby. lemme take care of you,” he whispers as he lines himself up with your entrance.
you brace yourself by locking your hands around his neck as he pushes in, and you both groan as your pussy struggles to take him in. it’s so real, he feels you spasm around him like it did on the night you spent together, and he knows he’s a goner.
he lets you adjust for a few moments before slowly pulling out, then thrusting himself back in again. each stroke feels like heaven as you cry out with every movement. he grips your hips, but he tries his best not to hurt you when he does it. you’re far too precious to leave marks on, after all.
beomgyu gets lost in the feeling all too quickly. he wants to be uncharacteristically gentle, but the feeling of you squeezing around him makes his eyes redden, and before long, he’s drilling into you.
“‘m close!” you cry out.
“me too, baby,” he whispers, and the feeling of you clenching around him as you come is enough to send him over the edge. he spills himself into you with a broken moan.
“i love you,” he says desperately as he tries to catch his breath. but even in his dreams, you don’t reply.
-
soobin has always been sweet, but ever since the beomgyu incident he’s been even sweeter. he shows up to your place with your favorite snacks and never asks any unsavory questions. he takes your calls in the dead of night when he’s clearly been trying to sleep. he holds your hand when you start to space out.
at first, it was easy to chalk it all up to what best friends do, but as the physical intimacy begins to increase, you start suspecting that something deeper is going on. you are not a cruel person — you’re not the type to pretend not to see something so clear when it inconveniences you (unlike a certain someone). so when soobin places your head on his shoulder during a movie night, against your meek disposition, you ask him a very simple question.
“binnie, do you like me?” and you don’t quite have the courage to look up at him while you ask him, opting to stare at the screen before you.
“yeah. yes, i do,” he replies, and while you would rather continue to avoid eye contact, you have enough respect for him to sit up and look him in his eyes.
“i’m so sorry,” you say, because what else can you say?
“i know. i know you don’t feel the same way, you don’t have to tell me,” he answers with a soft, forced smile.
“i don’t wanna hurt you.”
“i know you don’t.”
“what can i do?” you ask sincerely.
“i… i don’t need you to do anything. if you need me, you have me. if you don’t need me, you still have me,” he tells you.
“that’s not fair to you.”
“then just give me some time,” he replies. “i’ll get over it if you just give me some time.”
“okay,” you nod.
“are you sure you’ll be okay?” he asks, still as concerned about you as ever. as if you’re not breaking his heart.
“i will be,” you lie. regardless of whether he believes you or not, he nods and gathers his things before leaving.
-
you are, in the most crass of terms, pissy drunk. your sticky situation with soobin is one for the history books, if you do say so yourself, and you lack the proper vernacular at the moment to express just how awful it is. who knew your best friend on this planet had secret feelings for you? well, it seems like everyone, actually, because as you confide in your friends, none seem to be particularly surprised. it appears that you’re the last one to find out.
of course, you’re only able to deal with the revelation by visiting your favorite bar. against your better judgment, you go alone. usually, you’d ask soobin to come with you, but you can’t do that with the way things are right now, which just makes you feel even worse. you’re on drink number three (or four… or five…) when an unknown man slides into the barstool next to you. you don’t quite catch his name, but you know you’re not interested in him, or, well, anyone at the moment. you’re far too distracted by your current circumstances to even entertain the thought of another man right now, but even as you deny, deny, deny him, he doesn’t quite seem to get the message.
your vision is blurred as you try to hint to him for what must be the umpteenth time that you’re not looking for anything at the moment, but he still doesn’t understand, and you’re starting to feel every ounce of alcohol you’ve consumed until now. you place your head in your hands as you try to keep the room from spinning, but it doesn’t seem to help, and you can feel his hand squeezing your upper thigh. you’re not the most assertive person at the best of times, and you are certainly even less so in your drunken state, so you’re trying to gather your bearings to reject him once and for all when you feel an arm sliding around your neck.
“there you are, baby. who’s this?” a baritone voice asks rather loudly, a voice you’d recognize anywhere. beomgyu’s. your gut reaction is to push him off and cuss him out, but even with your delayed reactions, you’re able to register that he’s trying to help you out as you lock eyes with his hesitant brown ones.
“gyu,” you say with what you hope is a believable smile.
“you’re taken?” the man asks disappointedly.
“yep,” you reply, and he scoffs before pushing out his barstool so abruptly, the chair squeaks before storming away.
“are you alright?” beomgyu asks quietly.
“‘m fine,” you tell him as you rip his arm off from your shoulder. “i don’t need your help.”
“i know!” he exclaims a little too desperately. “i-i know that, i just —” but the universe smacks you across the face as you begin to gag, alcohol choosing now of all times to rock your stomach with a vengeance. you begin to try to scramble off of the stool, but you’re so drunk, you’re having trouble even standing up.
without any prompting, beomgyu hurriedly pulls you up and places your arm around his shoulder before hustling you to the bathroom. you don’t even have time to close the door behind you before you’re hunched over the toilet and choking vomit out of your throat. beomgyu slams the door behind him and rushes over to your pitiful frame before shushing you and rubbing circles into your back in an attempt to calm you down. in turn, you bat his hands away without even condescending to look at him when you do it. his heart stings, but he realizes it’s not about him as you lurch forward and continue to empty your stomach.
when you’re finally finished, you feel a wet paper towel gently rubbing the sweat off of your forehead, then it travels down to your lips where vomit still pools around them. beomgyu intently cleans you up without saying a word.
“a-are you alright?” he asks meekly, and as if only now registering that it’s him, you push his hands away and say your next words.
“i thought i told you i didn’t need your fucking help. i hate when people make me repeat myself, didn’t you know?” he winces at your harsh words and sharpness of tone.
“i… i know. i’m sorry. i just thought that you might want somebody with you. i’m really sorry.” and even through your drunken stupor, you know he’s not just apologizing for his interference. but you don’t care.
“and why would i want you?” he’s silent at this before finally replying.
“you know, when you told me i’d regret it, i didn’t really understand what you meant; but i understand it now. i’m really, really regretting it. i should’ve listened to you,” he says softly with tears brimming in his reddened eyes.
you’re at a loss for words at this. what do you say? what can you say besides “i told you so”? somehow, that doesn’t quite do the sentiment justice.
part iii: betty
after vomiting, you actually feel like you’ve sobered up quite a bit, but you’re still not speaking, which beomgyu takes to heart.
“i can’t — i’m just really, really sorry,” he brokenly sobs in the face of your silence. “so sorry.”
“i know,” you reply after a pause, and you do know. you didn’t before, but his pathetic actions and demeanor have shown you that he means what he says. your acknowledgment of his repentance just makes him cry even harder, though. because it doesn’t seem to have changed a thing.
“i was a bastard. i was so fucking awful to you when you were just trying to help me, and i didn’t know what i had until you were gone,” he continues, quite openly sobbing at this point. he looks like a man gone mad as he cries in the public restroom of a bar, but what's the point of trying to keep his cool now? maybe this way, you’ll understand just how much he means what he says.
but you’re the victim. you’re the one who should be crying her heart out at the moment. you didn’t even do anything besides reject him after he’s been continuously rejecting you and treating you like gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe for years. why does he get to cry and get what he wants? what about you? you want to hold onto this injustice, but the way he crumbles in front of you makes your heart soften. no matter how angry you may be, you can't help but try to reason with him.
“beomgyu, i know you’re sorry. i really do,” you sigh, and your tone tells him everything he needs to know, but he still hangs onto every word as if they’re the most important things he’ll ever hear. still, he feels dread at what you have to say next tugging on his heartstrings.
“but it’s just not enough. you treated me like i was garbage for years. you used me and my feelings, and tossed me away whenever you wanted.” and he withers even more with every word. “and i let you do it because i loved you and i thought you didn’t know how i felt, but you fucking knew what you were doing; and you still slept with me while knowing how i felt about you. how can you expect me to forgive you for that?” you ask, and it is not completely rhetorical. you seem to be searching for an answer, but he doesn’t have one. he never did. if he could figure out how to justify any of his actions, he would, but he can’t seem to come up with anything even as he scrambles for a response.
he knows he's losing you, so why not just be honest? as a last ditch effort, he lays everything out on the table.
“you said you loved me,” he says. “m-maybe, if i can be better, you’ll love me again. i can be good for you, i-i know i can. so if you just —”
“beomgyu,” you interrupt, though not maliciously. you seem to have some level of patience for him even in spite of everything. “i still love you. love was never the problem.” and he can’t help but feel a shred of hope bud in the wake of your words, but it’s killed in its crib at what you say next. “but that’s just not enough anymore. the way you’ve been feeling for the past few weeks is how i’ve felt for years. i bet you can’t even imagine that — i don’t even want you to imagine that, actually. it just hurts too much.”
and while you just said that you didn’t want him to, he can’t help but envision exactly that: the feeling that he had when you were with soobin multiplied exponentially. and for so long. and with different people. that same pain over and over and over again with no reprieve besides for the hope that someday, if you’re lucky, you might have a chance. someday, maybe any day, but probably not any time soon. to live like that and for so long, just thinking about it makes his heart ache and his stomach churn.
“do you understand me now?” you ask, and gone are the traces of resentment and disgust. your gaze is only filled with pity. somehow, that makes him feel even worse.
“y-yeah,” he says breathlessly with an inhale so sharp, it’s as if he’s in physical pain, all the while trying desperately to gather his bearings and to look and sound like a functioning member of society. he fails in light of his constant stream of tears. “i, um, i get it now.”
“okay,” you say softly. “i’m going to call yunjin so she can pick me up. can you get home safely?” this is it. you don’t have to say it, but he knows that you two will never speak again after this. what else is there to say, after all?
“i can.”
“good,” you smile, and he tries his best to smile, too, but he doesn’t quite make it there. “goodbye, beomgyu.”
“goodbye,” he whispers shakily, and he looks so profoundly devastated that you wish you could comfort him, but you know it’d just make things worse; so without another word, you leave him alone as you prepare to call yunjin.
beomgyu doesn’t know how long he spends in the wake of your absence, but he cries until no more tears will leave his eyes. when he's all cried out, eyes swollen and face red, he leaves the bar in a state of borderline delirium. your words echo in his unstable state of mind, and he realizes that even when you had every right to treat him like the scum of the earth, you were kinder than he could ever reasonably expect for you to be. it seems that you still gave him more than he ever deserved. as always.
-
things with soobin have stayed in an odd sort of purgatory for weeks now, but unfortunately or not, life goes on, so you don't have the luxury of ruminating on it as much as you probably need to. you don't reach out very much for fear of unwittingly making your circumstances with him even more difficult for him to move past, but that certainly doesn't mean that you don't miss him. still, you prioritize his feelings in the matter over your own and patiently await the day where he finally feels comfortable enough to be friends with you once more. he forgoes most of the gatherings that your friends arrange, and it's like a knife to the heart every time.
as for your situation with beomgyu, you deliberately try to push that out of your mind as frequently as humanly possible. you feel like things have ended on the best note you could ever ask for, and your friends know better than to bring him up around you, so you figure that ignorance is bliss. old habits die hard, though, and you find yourself wanting to check on him, but you remind yourself that that’s not your job anymore — and it never should have been in the first place, really, which is enough to stop you in your tracks on the bad nights where you want nothing more than to reach out. you reason with yourself that he has friends, so there’s no need to concern yourself with him.
but you miss him. you miss when you were stupid enough to believe that he didn’t know about your feelings. you wish you could go back and erase your love for him so you two could go back to just being friends. what he did was unforgivable, you know that, but you still miss all the times he made you laugh. still, that pales in comparison to all the times he made you cry, right? that's how you should look at things. that's how you will look at things.
as it is, you’re perfectly fine with never speaking to him again. at least, that’s what you tell yourself.
-
“are you okay?” taehyun asks in a hushed tone. he hasn’t seen beomgyu in over a month now, but beomgyu finally agreed to come out with him after taehyun said he missed him. now, they are seated in a booth at the dimly lit bar just down the street from taehyun’s place.
“y-yeah,” beomgyu replies with a forced upturn of his lips as he sloshes around the non-alcoholic drink in his cup. after the last time you saw him, he decided to ditch alcohol for the time being. taehyun was right about him needing to act like an adult, and he just knows that if he were to get even a drop of alcohol in him, he’d come crawling back to you, probably to your disgust.
“good,” taehyun sighs in relief. “i was really worried about you for a while there, you know? everyone was.”
“i know,” beomgyu answers perfunctorily. everyone has been worried about him and has said as much. well, pretty much everyone except for you.
“are you ever gonna talk about what happened?” taehyun carefully probes, which causes beomgyu to cease all actions and stare blankly at his cup — liquid still gently swishing back and forth.
“nothing happened that you probably didn’t already guess,” beomgyu says with a derisive smile. its sentiment is not directed at taehyun, however, but at himself.
“that doesn't mean i don't want to hear it from you,” taehyun replies.
with a sigh of defeat, beomgyu begrudgingly recounts his circumstances with you, sparing no details. at first, taehyun's eyes widen every so often, but after a while, his face relaxes into something somber and resigned. when beomgyu is finished, his gaze remains locked on taehyun’s face, searching for any semblance of a reaction, but he remains stoic.
“well?” beomgyu asks impatiently.
“well, what?” taehyun says after a moment, and he's tempted to just leave it at that, but after looking into beomgyu’s pleading eyes, he realizes that he needs to say more. “you fucked up, but you know that already. i would say that i can't believe you did that, but if it's you, i can believe it,” he sighs, and beomgyu really wishes he hadn't pressed taehyun for more, because he feels smaller and smaller with every new word.
“i know. i’m a piece of shit who doesn't deserve her. i never did,” beomgyu relents, feeling completely helpless. he wasn't expecting comfort or anything like that — he doesn't deserve it, but he's still hurt by taehyun's words, regardless of their validity. they just further confirm what he already knows.
“yeah, you're right,” taehyun agrees with a nod, and beomgyu deflates even more, if that's even possible.
“is… is she okay?” beomgyu asks timidly. he's been too afraid to ask about you, but now that taehyun knows the truth, it seems pointless to beat around the bush.
“not really,” taehyun says with a twitch of his lips.
“why not?!” beomgyu exclaims a little too loudly. taehyun hurriedly shushes him before glancing around the bar to make sure nobody’s attention has been drawn to the two of them.
“why not?” beomgyu repeats, voice lower this time, but urgency just as palpable.
“i don't know. i think something happened between her and soobin, but neither of them will talk about it. i'm sure you can guess what happened, though,” taehyun sighs. and he's right. beomgyu can guess, but he can't quite believe it. you must've rejected soobin, but why? why would you reject someone so perfect for you? does it have anything to do with him?
-
beomgyu can’t shake the feeling that your situation with soobin has something to do with him. he knows he’s being vain, he knows he’s being selfish, but he can’t help but hope. he doesn't tell anyone about this, though, for fear that reality will be much crueler than he can cope with. he tells himself he's perfectly content with living with said hope and deluding himself into thinking he still has a place in your heart, but he can't control the way his mind wanders to places he scarcely dares to dream of these days. dreams where you miss him, where you still think about him, where you forgive him play out in a number of ways, but in the end, they're nothing more than, well, dreams.
-
as much as some would like to avoid it, gathering for taehyun’s friendsgiving party is inevitable. no matter the circumstances, nobody can quite justify missing out on your friend group’s collective tradition. you try to steel yourself for the potentially awkward encounters with soobin and beomgyu, but you can’t help but worry about potential “what if’s”. still, you decide to be as mature as possible. if you see soobin, you'll make light conversation before excusing yourself if he seems uncomfortable. if you see beomgyu, well, hopefully he'll just ignore you as you've ignored him.
when you arrive at taehyun's, you greet everyone as usual. honestly, as awful as it sounds, you're pretty relieved to see that neither soobin nor beomgyu have arrived just yet. you drink just enough to take some of the edge off, so when soobin comes in, it's not an earth-shattering event. when he greets you, you're prepared to just leave it at a cordial, somewhat distant conversation, and he seems to be on the exact same page. he says hello and performs all of the necessary niceties before wandering off and getting himself a drink. it hurts your heart that this is what your friendship has been reduced to, but you know it's what's best at the moment. you don't want to unintentionally hurt him by insisting he push his limits by being with you.
you try to shove this out of your mind, and you're talking to yunjin about nothing in particular when beomgyu walks through the door. you can’t help but look up when he enters, but you will yourself to look away while plastering a smile on your face you already know isn’t believable in the slightest. mercifully, he doesn’t do anything other than wave at you and yunjin before getting lost in the hustle and bustle of the party.
you think the worst of the night is over, and you calmly go through the motions of your friendsgiving traditions as if everything is fine. after dinner, you find yourself sitting alone, wondering if you should just hang it up and go home a bit early. before you can do that, though, you notice soobin approaching your spot on the couch.
“hey,” he says a little unsteadily as he plops down next to you, no doubt a little tipsy from the drinks he’s had.
“hey,” you shyly reply with a smile.
“how are you?” he asks.
“i’m okay,” you answer, trying to maintain your composure. “what about you?”
“better,” he says before hesitantly continuing. “i miss you.” your heart soars, but it also somewhat aches.
“i miss you, too,” you tell him honestly. he smiles, albeit very softly.
“how are things with beomgyu?” he probes.
“as good as they’ll get, i guess.”
“so not very good, huh?”
“no, not very good,” you say truthfully.
“well, why don't you just cut the bullshit, then?” you're very clearly taken aback by his words. you're even actually offended that he could casually say such a thing.
“what are you talking about?” your tone is more defensive than bewildered, but he just looks at you with knowing eyes that make you feel microscopic.
“you know what i’m talking about,” he argues. “this whole fucked up charade that you two are performing isn’t fooling anybody, so why even try?”
“he doesn't deserve me,” you scoff. “he can't just treat me like shit and get away with it because he's sorry now. he needs to pay for what he's done.”
“and who are you punishing by doing that? him or yourself?” you're, again, surprised, so you don't quite know what to say in response.
“i know you. i know what you want, and denying that doesn't do anything but hurt the both of you. you might as well get what you want. maybe he doesn't deserve it — i'm not really sure, but don't you want to try, at least? with how desperate he’s been acting, i don’t think he’ll hurt you again.” you seriously ponder his words, but the main conclusion you come to is that soobin is still so, so kind. he had — or has — feelings for you, but he still wants to see you happy. you don’t have to say anything, though, because it seems like he understands how grateful you are just from your smile.
he pulls you in for a hug, one so warm and loving you can't help but melt into it. you could cry at how relieved you are that you two will soon overcome the awkwardness and distance. it seems he wasn't one of your best friends for nothing. when you two break apart, you look up at him with a watery smile. before you can say anything, though, you register the odd look on his face. you look confused for just a second before he says his next words in a hushed, hurried tone.
“i'm doing this for your own good,” he whispers as he leans down and catches your lips in a tender kiss. to say you're stunned is an understatement, indeed, but the kiss ends almost as quickly as it begins, leaving you reeling.
“w-why did you —”
“i said it was for your own good, but it was kind of for me, too,” he softly chuckles. “maybe i want to punish him a little bit.” you don't really understand what he means until you follow his gaze and catch beomgyu in his line of sight. oh, you get it now. who knew soobin was such a sadist?
your conversation with soobin ends and you feel a lot lighter than you have in a long, long time, but his words leave you with more than enough to think about. you shake your head and go out to the balcony to clear your head. after a few minutes, you hear the door behind you creak open. you know it's beomgyu before he even says anything.
“so, you and soobin, huh?” he questions softly as he settles next to you, leaning against the railing. you glance up at him to respond, but his mirthless smile stops you before you can say a word.
“i’m happy for you,” he adds as sincerely as he can, and you’re not sure you buy that, but at the very least, he seems to want you to believe it. you're not really sure how to respond. you don't even know if you want to explain everything to him, actually, because you're still debating on whether or not you should forgive him. can things really be that easy? does he deserve your forgiveness? who's to say he won't just break your heart again? as you struggle with how to answer, he continues.
“i'm, um, i'm glad you found somebody. especially soobin. he'll treat you right — you deserve it,” he says before timidly rambling. “s-sorry if i’m overstepping, i just wanted you to know that; and, uh, if you ever need anything, i'm here.”
“need anything? like what?” you can't help but wonder aloud. now, this is unlike the beomgyu you've come to know. if it were, then he'd be throwing a fit trying to get you to change your mind so you'd be with him instead of soobin.
“l-like, if you need advice or something,” he earnestly answers, somewhat surprised you said anything at all. “or if you just want to talk or complain or anything. whatever it is that you need, i’ll be here. i owe you that much after all you’ve done for me.” you look confused for a moment before you answer him.
“i didn’t do those things so you’d owe me, beomgyu,” you tell him, and his heart flutters against his will at the use of his name.
“i-i know, i’m sorry. i didn’t mean it like that. s-sorry. i just want you to know that there’s someone who wants to be there for you, especially since you were always there for me, but even if you weren’t, i would still want to be there for you,” he nervously replies.
“why?” you quietly ask, and that actually brings a wistful smile to his face.
“because i care about you,” he says, voice dripping with sincerity and solemnity. what he really wants to tell you is that it's because he loves you, but it's clear that it's the wrong time. he can't just dump his feelings onto you again — that would be wrong since you're obviously involved with someone now. if it were the old him, he'd do it with absolutely no regrets if it meant that you'd come back to him, but he can't do that to you. he can't just steamroll over your wants and feelings like he's always done.
“but why?” you question persistently. he never saw anything of value in you before, not outside of how he could use you, so what’s so great about you now? you just can’t understand it. his sincere smile turns wry, teeming with a sense of self-mockery as he whispers his next words.
“because you're amazing. you're everything anyone could ever want.” anything i could ever want. he doesn't have to say that last part, because you can already hear the meaning of his words. just because you can hear it, however, doesn't mean you understand it.
“i never thought you, of all people, would think that,” you say honestly.
“i know, but that's my fault, not yours,” he replies. you purse your lips in response, mulling over your options. you could just walk away right now and go back to ignoring beomgyu forever. it's what he deserves, you reason. he humiliated you in a way like none other, and nobody would blame you if you never let that go; but you look at how hard he's trying, and your heart softens. maybe you want to give it a try. maybe you'll get hurt again, but with how desperate he is, you really don't think so. still, you can’t let him get away with it so easily. you just have to make sure his feelings are pure.
“i know you still have feelings for me,” you say after a long pause, and his face reddens in shame, feeling like his ugly heart that he was desperately trying to conceal has been exposed. he supposes this is the way it should be, but he doesn't want to guilt you into anything, so he chooses to remain silent in his humiliation. “if it were like before, you would just tell me that. why is it different now?” you continue. well, that's it then. he should be truthful and say what he wants to say, and unbeknownst to him, what you want to hear.
“because your feelings should be more important than my own. that's what you do when you love somebody,” he chokes out. “you taught me that.”
you're quiet for a long, long time. too long, in fact. so long, he thinks it's time to call it quits and suppress his unrequited feelings for you until he feels them no longer. he can't imagine a world where he successfully does so, but for your sake, he should try. before he can say his goodbye, though, you speak again.
“okay,” you sigh.
“what?” he asks confusedly, eyebrows furrowed.
“i said, ‘okay’. don't make me regret this,” you tell him before grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling him down to you. your lips softly meet each other and his eyes widen in sheer shock, though he doesn't resist you. his breath is labored when you finally part, eyes hazy with his lips red and swollen.
“w-what are you — i thought — why are you —”
“i'll give you one chance,” you interrupt. “if you fuck up, it's over. do you understand?” he takes a second to process your words — but it's just a second — and his eyes well up with relieved tears when he understands. he dumbly nods in agreement, too afraid that if he speaks, no intelligible noise will come out.
“good.” the corners of your mouth curl with a ghost of a smile, and you're prepared to leave it at that as you pull away from him; but like a dog, he earnestly chases after your touch before pulling you towards him, lips meeting yours again. the kiss is hungrier this time — more insistent, but he doesn't push his luck. eventually, he parts from you, leaving you both panting. his tears, which he was previously holding back, now flow from his eyes with no resistance.
“thank you,” he says gently.
“for what?” you ask, head a little clouded from the kiss, but he just shakes his head with a smile. you will never understand just how grateful he is for the mercy you’ve shown him, but he’ll try to show you how much it means to him.
-
things go slowly after that — you do your best to ensure that they do; and beomgyu, to his credit, tries to oblige. you’re not official or anything like that, but you let him take you on dates, and he’s always trying to woo you in one way or another. he sends flowers when you work, he shows up to your place with food and drinks, he texts you every morning asking how you’ve slept. it’s everything you could have ever asked for, and you can really see how hard he’s trying, but when kisses become heated, you always pull away before things can go any further. beomgyu tries his best not to show his dejection, but you always end up apologizing before he adamantly insists that he’s more than okay with it. you appreciate his understanding because every time you think about going any further, you can’t help but remember the indelible scar that his previous betrayal left upon you.
-
christmas parties at beomgyu’s, much like friendsgivings at taehyun’s, are a tradition within your friend group. now that the tension with soobin and (most of) the tension with beomgyu is no longer there, you find that you’re actually really excited to gather again. you have no intention of revealing the nature of your… circumstances with beomgyu to everyone, though, and beomgyu will never say it for fear of making you uncomfortable, but it makes his heart ache. he can't really blame you for not wanting to be tied to him, but that doesn't soothe the pain in his chest.
secret santa takes place without a hitch. that is, until you open up your gift, which is a necklace with a pendant of a silver sun, and it is revealed that soobin got it for you. it’s not the most expensive gift in the world, but it is uncommonly sentimental. many write it off as a pretty, but ultimately meaningless piece of jewelry, but beomgyu instinctively knows it’s because of how so much of you resembles the sun. how could he not understand? you’re warm and nurturing, but it’s unsettling to realize that you’re not his alone. he tries to tell himself that it's not the end of the world, but when soobin turns you around and gently clasps the necklace for you before smoothing out your hair, he can't help but feel like it is. that’s enough for him to excuse himself to his room, but you’re far too preoccupied with gushing over how much you love the gift to soobin to really notice.
when he enters his room, he sits on the edge of his bed, placing his head in his hands with a groan. he shouldn't be feeling like this. he has no right to feel like this. you had already taken the time to explain that you and soobin are just friends, and you stressed that he’ll have to be okay with that fact if he wants to be with you, to which he eagerly agreed; but he can't help but think that it's only a matter of time before you come to your senses and leave him to be with soobin for good.
you two aren't even technically official, and your hesitance to be classified as such to your closest friends only shows him just how much you want that to continue to be true. what if he's just a pit stop in yours and soobin's love story? that seems like the most likely outcome. he can just see it now, you and soobin laughingly recalling your tumultuous history to your future kids. is beomgyu being dramatic? probably, but that doesn't stop his mind from running wild. why would you choose to stay with him when soobin, who's been devoted to you since the beginning, is right there?
the door to his room opens, and he whips his head up in hopes that it's you coming back to him, so he can't hide his disappointment when he's greeted by chaewon’s figure shutting the door behind her before she plops down beside him. his mood turns even more sour than it already was when he sees her.
“if you're here to laugh at me for how pathetic i am, i don’t want to hear it,” he says bitingly. she’s quiet for a moment, as if she’s digesting his words, before she nods.
“you’re right, you are pathetic,” she deadpans. his temper flares, but before he can lash out, she continues. “you look stupid just sulking here because your little girlfriend got attention from another man.”
“h-how did you kn—”
“she may be subtle, but you definitely aren’t,” she snorts.
“oh,” he defeatedly replies with a laughably crestfallen look.
“doesn't feel good, does it? seeing the person you love with somebody else,” she asks snarkily. “it’s one of the worst feelings in the world, if you ask me.”
“and what the hell do you know about that?” he spits. chaewon is one of the most spiteful and bull-headed people he knows. he can't imagine her being too broken up about supposed unrequited love.
“because that's how i feel when i look at the both of you,” she says matter-of-factly, as if she didn't just drop the bomb of the century. he knew that she was attracted to him, obviously, but he never knew her feelings ran any deeper than that. he sputters as he looks at her, but she cuts him off.
“i know you didn't know about my feelings, for real this time. i guess i'm a better actress than her, or maybe you just never cared enough to find out. whatever it is, i know it's hopeless, so you don't have to tell me.”
“i'm sorry,” he murmurs, but she just shakes her head.
“thanks, but your apology just makes me feel worse,” she scoffs. “i don’t need or want the pity of the most pitiful person in the world.” her words are undeniably harsh, but he can register the amount of hurt in them.
“i'm still sorry,” he says. “i know how you feel, and i know it's really hard. i'm sorry for never noticing.” his sincerity makes her calloused heart soften.
“yeah, it's hard; but for what it's worth, i think she loves you, too,” she tells him.
“i really hope so,” he replies with a sardonic smile before it melts into something more genuine. “thank you for telling me about your feelings. i'm sorry that i don't feel the same way, but i hope you find somebody who does.”
“thank you,” she says, more sincerely this time. “friends?” with this, she extends her hand for him to shake. he smiles at her gesture as he complies.
“friends.” hesitantly, she pulls him into a hug. he’s stunned for a second before patting her back in reciprocation. he can’t love her, but he can learn to appreciate her, which he has never done, even with all of her help. maybe he’s becoming a better person because of you.
as if on cue, the door opens the moment that thought is fully formed. he’s relieved to see you for the split second before he realizes how this must look to you. he madly breaks away from her in a haste.
“it's not what it looks like!” he exclaims, and chaewon tactfully rises and scurries out of the door before shutting it behind her, but you remain silent and rooted to your spot.
“i swear! it's really not what it looks like,” he says pleadingly as he stands and grabs your hands, which you promptly smack away.
“i just fucking knew this would happen,” you spit. “i won't give it up to you, so you turn around and pull this shit — is that it?”
“n-no! seriously, we’re just friends! she told me that she had feelings for me, but i rejected her, and we said we would just be friends,” he desperately explains. “i swear to god i would never do that to y—” he wants to continue, but the way your shoulders shake as you put your head in your hands stops him in his tracks.
he hurriedly embraces you as he hears muffled cries escape your lips.
“i’m so sorry, please don’t cry. it wasn’t what it looked like, i promise,” he says as soothingly as he can muster, but that doesn't seem to stop your tears. he feels more and more helpless as you continue to break down in front of him, so he resorts to saying whatever he can think of to calm you down.
“i’m sorry, it’s all my fault. i never should’ve touched her. just don't cry, okay? i hate seeing you cry,” he whispers as he draws circles on your back, pressing you closer to him. after a while, your sobs die out and your breathing becomes more steady.
“a-are you okay?” he timidly probes. you stare at him with eyebrows furrowed for a bit before you slightly nod. he purses his lips before continuing.
“are you going to leave me?” he whispers, and he regrets asking as soon as the words leave his lips.
it's okay if you're only indulging him in this would-be relationship because you pity him. it's okay if he's just a pit stop in your love story with soobin. it's okay if he turns out to be nothing more than a momentary distraction from the actual love of your life, just as long as you stay with him for as long as you can stand it. why would he question his place in your life? why would he ruin a good thing by making you tell him to his face that you don't want him? he should've just waited for you to figure it out on your own instead of forcing you to confront the true nature of your feelings for him.
when he’s met with nothing but your pensive silence, he speaks again.
“i-i’m sorry i asked. i, um, i understand,” he adds defeatedly.
“no,” you croak.
“n-no? what do you mean by —”
“no, i won’t leave you,” you declare, a little bit more confidently this time.
“you won’t?” he asks doubtfully, taken aback by this sentiment.
“do you want me to?”
“no! i-i just can’t believe it. why would you stay with me?”
“because i think you love me. do you?”
“of course!” he exclaims.
“then will you show me? how much you love me, i mean?” you ask.
“h-how do you mean?”
you look up at him and pull him by his collar so his lips meet yours, and his eyes widen before he melts into the kiss. he feels like he’s floating as you move your lips against his, but he groans when you softly tug his hair, which allows you to snake your tongue into his welcoming mouth. that’s enough to replace the floating feeling with one of pure need. when you part, you're both gasping for air.
“are you sure?” he seemed so lost in the feeling before, but he looks nothing short of timid right now, endearing you in a way you previously thought was impossible.
“yes.”
he gulps and guides you to his bed, firmly gripping your hand as if he’ll lose you if he doesn’t hold onto you. carefully, reverently, he begins to undress you, making sure not to be too rough, juxtaposing how crass he was the first (and last) time you two did this. when you’re fully undressed, he shamelessly takes the view of you in. you subconsciously feel embarrassed and start to cover yourself, and he gently, but firmly, takes your arms and pulls them away from your shivering frame.
“don’t hide from me. you’re beautiful,” he whispers, before ducking down and pulling you in for a heated kiss. it’s still gentle, but there’s more fire behind it than usual. eventually, he breaks away and quickly rids himself of his clothes, contrasting greatly with the tenderness he showed you as he took yours off. when he’s finished, he kisses you again. this time, though, he doesn’t just stop at your lips, and he trails hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck before he pushes you down onto the bed and finds his way down to your aching pussy.
he plants kisses on your open thighs until your legs are trembling and your core is glistening with anticipation. greedily, he takes one experimental, flat-tongued lick from your pussy and groans at your taste. he starts slowly — licking stripes until his movements become a series of alternating between this and more focused licks to your folds and clit. eventually, he takes one of his fingers and prods at your weeping hole before pushing it in to the knuckle. he curls and teases until he finds your sweet spot with little effort.
“o-oh,” you sigh, but before you can get used to the feeling, he slides another finger in and repeats his movements, softly sucking on your clit as he does it. beomgyu tries to show restraint, he really does, but you taste so good that before long, he’s practically hammering his fingers into you while he licks and sucks on your lower lips. you’re no match for his skilled tongue, so you’re falling apart more quickly than you’d like to admit. you hold onto his hair for dear life, tugging a little harder than you probably should, but you’re in no state to control your harshness as you reach the end.
“gyu, i’m gonna — oh, shit — i’m coming! i’m coming!” you cry as your legs buckle, tightening around his head against your will. he doesn’t pull away, however; he just lets you cage him in between your thighs as if he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. as you come down, he laps up your cum and removes his fingers to directly stick his tongue in your clenching hole. you think you might have to pull him off of you due to overstimulation, but he (reluctantly) does it himself before you can quite get there.
he makes no move to clean himself up, and his expression is one of pure bliss, as if you were the one who just gave him the best oral of his life and not the other way around. he pulls you in for a heavy kiss, and you taste yourself along with the sweetness that is beomgyu. he tries to be patient, but he can't help but frantically line himself up with your entrance, poking and prodding his tip against your still-spasming hole as he takes one of your hands into his own while using the other to guide himself into you.
“is this okay?” he nervously asks. you nod. with a strained breath, he slowly begins to push into you.
it's a struggle to push himself in, meeting resistance as you clench around him, pussy trying desperately to accommodate his length. your hand tightly grips his as you feel the almost unbearable stretch, and he soothingly caresses his thumb over your finger, shuddering as you take him in inch by inch. it feels even better than the first time, somehow — you're even warmer and wetter than before. with labored breaths, he tries to keep himself from coming early as he feels you contracting around him. when he’s finally completely sheathed in you, it's like puzzle pieces fitting together; things seem more right than they have since, well, the last time you two did this. you stay like that for what must be a long time — just feeling each other in an act of pure intimacy as you both heave out labored breaths.
“are you ready?” he whispers, and after a few seconds, you nod. he shakily pulls out, feeling your pussy struggling to keep him in, and takes a deep breath before piercing you in one fluid motion, scraping against your g-spot with ease. you whimper at the sensation as he pulls himself out before ramming back in again.
“relax, baby. i know you can take me. you were made for me,” he says soothingly as he sets his pace. he tries to take things slowly, but it’s difficult when it feels like you’re sucking him in with every thrust. his words comfort you, and before long, you're melting into his touch.
“so good,” he groans as he repeatedly hits your cervix. “you’re so fucking perfect.” all you can do is moan in response, feeling so detached from reality that the only thing chaining you to it is the way he’s fucking you. your grip on his hand tightens until you’re sure his fingers are numb, but he makes no move to stop you. he even leans down to plant a kiss on your lips, which was meant to be mostly innocent, but it quickly devolves into your tongues and teeth clashing against each other as he snaps his hips into yours. you feel more than full as he stretches you out and pounds into you so deeply, you feel him in your stomach. you can only be described as lightheaded as he hits the deepest parts of you relentlessly, and you feel yourself getting closer to your climax — causing you to let out an animalistic whine.
“shh, baby. i’ve got you. just let go, okay?” you have no choice but to oblige when he continues drilling into you. you couldn't stop even if you wanted to. it's only a few moments before your eyes are rolling backwards as you mercilessly clamp down around him. the feeling of you tightening on his length pushes him to his own end, and he moans out “oh, g-god, i love you,” while he spills himself into you, shuddering as he does it. you feel his hot cum flooding your insides, eventually leaking out of your aching cunt as he slowly thrusts it into you. you stay like that, just joined together, for a long while.
with reluctance, he pulls out of you. you're both silent as he collapses on top of you and mindlessly toys with your hair.
“i love you, too,” you whisper.
“w-what?” he shoots up and stares at you in disbelief, scanning your face in earnest.
“you heard me,” you reply.
“can you — can you say it again? please?” your purse your lips before responding.
“i love you, too.”
he doesn't mean for them to, but his eyes well up with tears. he grabs you and flips you on top of him before locking his arms around you. your head rests comfortably against his chest as he pulls you closer and closer, nuzzling his cheek onto the top of your head.
“i can't believe this is real,” he whispers between his tears, and you can't stop yourself from smiling at the sheer amount of awe in his tone. “i'll be so good to you, you won't believe it.”
“okay,” you chuckle, in spite of yourself. what can you do other than believe him when he's so damn desperate?
notes pt. 2: finishing this has most certainly been an uphill battle. i was writing like a few sentences a day for the longest time. still, i hope you all enjoyed this. i love you very much, my friends. also, please let me know what you thought about it (as long as it's not mean!)
taglist(s)
permanent (sfw/[n]sfw): @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @midwinterblizzard @everythingvirgoes @sooberryworld @20-cms @inkigayocamman @hyueika @boba-beom @vicurious28 @blossommi @lickingan0rchid @katsukis1wife @binniebakery @notevenheretbh1 @shymexican @that1sadgrl @archoive @paegesoobin @buttercreamerie @ifwtxt @softesyoongi @serenityism00 @fairfootedflekk @kyanmeai @definitelynotherr @hyunj00 @taehyunluvrs @m00gyu @denleave1088 @hwanghyunjinismybae @bmo-bri
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#niningtori#for the hope of it all#beomgyu smut#txt smut#beomgyu angst#beomgyu hard thoughts#beomgyu hard hours#txt angst#txt hard thoughts#txt hard hours#beomgyu x reader#beomgyu x you#beomgyu x y/n#soobin x reader#soobin x you#soobin x y/n#soobin angst#txt fic#beomgyu fic#nini's hard hours
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𝙃𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙨
Cw: sexual, lovesick!Miguel O'Hara x afab!genderfluid!reader, once again the reader is based off of me, degradation, biting, oral sex, dubcon, penetrative sex, dry humping, switch!reader, it's the mention of sexual activity rather than happening in the story, reader is not the wife shown in the movie
Miguel O'Hara knew everything about you. When you came to HQ, he was mindful that you merely were a variant of the person he once loved, that you were different, he even tried to find things he disliked about this "new" you. Spider-people work with variants all the time, and they don't make a big deal out of that, but you seemed eerily similar. He heard you crack the same jokes you did with him, tell the same anecdotes, have the same friends, the same taste in extremely specific things, you lived in the same house, and wore the same outfits. Your life was exactly the same, it was just that he wasn't on it, and that somehow you were spiderman.
He acts annoyed like he didn't recruit you, like he didn't want to look at your face everyday, like he didn't crave to have you back in his arms. Like he didn't get hard seeing the curve of your ass in your spidersuit.
Wanting your affection made him feel miserable, but lusting over you made him feel pathetic, disgusting. He knows you'd like that, though.
Because Miguel O'Hara knew everything about you, and you were a freak. He was your first time, so you took some time to warm up and tell him about your fantasies, but they were some fantasies and he couldn't decide which one he liked better. So he knew you'd get turned on at his current situation, you liked the devotion, and you had a thing for when he was being downright nasty, a pervert, you liked when he couldn't restrain himself and stole your used panties, when he jerked off next to your sleeping body, when his cock overpowered his strict nature and turned him into a desperate slut for you.
And he knew it was like this with your variant too, he wasn't exactly proud, but he policed your internet searches, and he found all those oh so dirty smut fanfics. He jerked himself off to every single one, you were imagining someone did that to you, and he was fantasizing with being the one who did it, he didn't even care for the name that was before the "x reader", those were fictional, none of them could fuck you like he knows how.
He knew you had a thing for biting and teeth, his teeth drove you crazy, all it took was a flash of them, and you responded with an uncomfortable shift in your seat and pleading eyes. But you also loved to bite him, he loved your teeth as much as you loved his, you were ecstatic with joy when he asked you bite him harder. No, you're not gonna hurt him, he reassured, and you sank your teeth into him like he was a piece of meat. Also that time when you discovered the effect your teeth could have in a blowjob, you experimentally grazed your teeth on his cock, and he couldn't even pretend he didn't like it, not with the sinful whine, and the buck of his hips into your mouth.
He also knew you liked degradation, you liked when one of you would humiliate themselves to prove his affections, you liked seeing him all worked up, feral, towering over you and doubling you in size, yet still obediently waiting for you to give him the signal, like a fucking pavlov dog. And you also liked to be treated like a slut, even moreso in your masculine days, he loved seeing you confidently bouncing on his cock like the manwhore you were, and in your harder days, you also always gave him permission to turn off the lights, press his teeth in your nape and fuck the dysphoria right out of you.
He knew you were satisfied knowing you were his everything, sometimes you couldn't even believe "why of all people" you where the one to have him wrapped around your finger. Miguel's outmost devotion and love was admirable, he showed you the mercy, love and patience that no one else had ever seen coming from him.
And he loved when you used that power to do as you pleased with him, he gave himself to you entirely, and you never once made him slightly regret it.
You would sometimes slip into his office, or follow him to the bathroom in a public place, and you would dry hump him until he came on the blue denim of his jeans, then you would get up and do something else (nine out of ten times it was running a bath or preparing something for him) just leaving him a complete mess, hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, hot body shivering in the cold air, pants stained and uncomfortably tight, but he couldn't look more blissful as he watched you bouncing hips walking away from him.
"you'll be the death of me" he said so many times, without ever suspecting that it would be the other way around, it was him who killed you, it was his fault you died, had he been more careful and protect you from his enemies, you'd be peacefully sleeping next to him. But instead, he's being a creep and watching a security camera of you eating a bowl of cereal at 2 am because of your insomnia, messy hair, fuzzy pajama pants, no shirt and huge dark circles, and he finds you so irresistible just like that. He looked for you in other universes, canon be damned, he destroyed so much, doomed so many billions of people, several variants of spider-people, he didn't care, he was looking for you, but it was never you. He loved all your variants, but they weren't what he was looking for. Until now, this one, this one was different, sure, they wore the mask, but aside from that, it was you down to a T.
The camera he had set up for snooping around your phone lit up, you were probably going to use some fiction to aid you to sleep. The search bar casted a white ray of light to the eyes of his otherwise completely obscured face. "Yandere stalker x reader"
Ay, corazón, if you only knew. If. You. Only. Knew.
#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x you#Miguel O'Hara smut#yandere miguel o'hara#miguel ohara x you#Miguel ohara x reader#miguel ohara smut#atsv smut#across the spiderverse x reader#across the spiderverse smut
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give into things i (dont) want to [lee haechan]
bully! (yandere) stalker! Haechan x innocent! church girl!reader Part of the give into things i (dont) want to series. Word Count: 1.2k Inspired by this drabble made by @neocentral Warnings: mature themes, toxic/inappropriate behaviour, stalking, forcing??, slut shaming, masterbation, choking & breathplay?, hair pulling, manhandling, MDNI, there will be smut in part 2 [Pt.1] [Pt.2] Summery: bully!Haechan is secretly in love with you and loves pulling your hair as it feeds into his perverted fantasies. btw, donghyuk is haechan's real name © 2023 @neobomb. Unauthorized copying, translation, manipulation, or alteration of this work is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.
Haechan is hopelessly in love with you, a secret he vowed to take to his grave. However, his misguided attempts to gain your attention had spiraled out of control. What began as innocent teasing morphed into malicious intent. He has gone too far now. There is no going back. Over the years, he subjected you to relentless bullying: mocking you with derogatory names, spreading false rumors, and cornering you against his locker to threaten you. For as long as he had known you, he couldn't recall a single moment when he had treated you kindly.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to..” he loves hearing you plead for forgiveness. Tears welled in your eyes as he pulled your long luscious hair, your eyes looking up at him with an innocence he couldn't ignore.
“A slut like you should know when to keep their dirty mouth shut.” he says, looking down on you. You looked like a mess. A hot mess. You’re on the floor, tears running down your face as heavy breaths left your lungs after the assault. When he goes home, he would picture this exact image of you in his head while mercilessly stroking his dick. He would imagine ramming his dick into you while pulling your hair, forcing you to meet his gaze. It was the primary reason he enjoyed pulling your hair during confrontations.
Everyday, he would follow you home after school. It didn't appear unusual since his house was only a few blocks away from yours. You never thought much of it. Each time you entered the safety of your home, you assumed he would just keep going until he reached his own. But oh…how you were wrong.
Haechan would always linger around you at a close proximity. Your bedroom is on the first floor, facing a large oak tree, his favorite hiding spot. Peeking through the leaves, he watches you through your bedroom window. You’re sitting on your bed, reading a book. You look so peaceful. So beautiful. Whenever your hair gets in the way, you tug the strands behind your ears, revealing more of your neckline each time. Occasionally, he would take photographs of you as you undress, showing it to his friends as "evidence" of your supposed slutty behavior, but primarily keeping them for his own twisted satisfaction later on.
Haechan knows better than everyone that you’re anything but a slut. He doesn't even think that you have had your first kiss yet. Over the past year, he's spread rumors about you sleeping with countless older men, intending to dissuade other boys from showing interest in you. In truth, you're a devout church-goer with a deep love for immersing yourself in books and fiction. But still, he loves calling you a slut. The humiliation that marks your face each time he calls you those names does wonders to him.
—
An intense heatwave has gripped the town. The scorching sun felt like it was searing your skin as you used a book to fan yourself. This summer break, aside from working at your cousin Kun's restaurant, you hadn't accomplished much. During your shifts, Haechan would consistently appear, each time accompanied by a different girl. What a manwhore, you thought to yourself.
“If you feel as though he is bothering you, I can take his table. Just slice the salmon for me and keep an eye on the fryer.” Jaehyun offers, extending his knife to you. As your fingers lightly touch, a swarm of butterflies stirs in your stomach. You've harbored feelings for Jaehyun for some time. He's tall, amiable, strikingly handsome, and an exceptional chef. He embodied everything you desired in a boyfriend. Though only a few years older, he appeared to have everything figured out.
From a distance, Haechan observed your exchanges with Jaehyun. Not paying any attention to the girl he was on a date with. He took note of your hearty laughter at Jaehyun's jokes and the way your face flushed crimson with every compliment he paid you. Saying Haechan was jealous would be a severe understatement; he was profoundly possessive over you.
—
The community you live in organized a grand gathering, and by chance, your parents had offered to host the entire event in your backyard. Such events were never to your liking as you would panic at the social interactions. Worst of all, lee donghyuk was present at the event. You seek refuge in your room, after hours on end, having to endure awkward conversations.
“Why did you cut your hair, Y/N?” Haechan stands in front of your bedroom door. He stared at you intensely, noticing how your hair falls right at your shoulder, revealing your pronounced collarbones. He suspected you might have cut your hair based on the conversation he had overheard between you and Jaehyun a few days ago, where Jaehyun expressed his preference for girls with shoulder length hair. It seemed evident to him that you were attempting to align with Jaehyun's preferences, which angered him greatly. “Yes, why do you care?”
“Is it because you can’t just grab onto it as easily anymore?” The words you just uttered struck him with the realization that you might have uncovered his dirty little secret. He restrained himself from showing any emotion. Keep it cool. Keep it cool. You’re probably just being paranoid, he tells himself “Huh, What a big mouth. Why would you say that?”
“You obviously have something against me. I mean, every day at school, you pull my hair and shove me against your locker," you state, setting your book on the surface of your nightstand. He steps into your room, wearing a deeply unsettling grin, and closes the door behind him.
"Why do you think you can just come into my room, DongHyuck?" You ask sharply, rising swiftly from your bed. You urgently sought an escape from the situation, but Haechan's imposing stature blocked your exit.
“You’re not going anywhere, Y/N.” He gets a rough grip around your neck, pushing you into your bookshelf. Once again, he noticed the familiar panic in your eyes, a sight he disturbingly loves.
“You think I won’t be able to man-handle you just because you cut your hair short. Well, think again.” His grip around your neck gets tighter and tighter. You were no longer registering his words. His words became a distant echo as your mind retreated to a different realm. He has never grabbed onto your neck before. It was certainly a new sight for him, a sight he was going crazy for. The way your hands grab onto his wrist, desperately trying to ease his grip, and the way your eyes almost fall shut by the intensity of the situation. It all turned him on so much.
He gradually loosened his hold on your neck, observing as you gasped for air and color that returned to your face. As you caught your breath, Haechan abruptly pressed his lips against yours. The fervor of the kiss was overwhelming. He bit down on your lips with force, leaving a faint metallic taste behind. His patience has ultimately run out.
#yandere nct#yandere haechan#yandere lee donghyuk#kpop nct#nct fanfic#nct yandere#nct lee donghyuk#nct haechan#mark lee#haechan yandere#lee donghyuk yandere#haechan x reader#haechan smut#lee haechan x reader#haechan hard hours#nct hard hours#nct x reader#nct smut#nct#nct 127#nct dream#yandere nct dream#nct dream yandere#lee donghyuk x reader#yandere kpop#give into things i (dont) want to
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Horny Mammon Thoughts/Headcanons
I’m ovulating ❤️
Mammon would be the kind to giggle when you wiggled in your restraints
He’d kiss your forehead throughout the entire fuck cuz you’re his baby
He’d use some type of impact toy and hit really soft and make a “whipeesh” sound with his mouth and make you laugh
He’d make fun of your moans but in a “aww you liked it that much” not a “you sounded so dumb”
Mammon would beg with puppy dog eyes to be allowed to touch you
Would treat giving head like a formal mission
Takes everything as a challenge “oh you want me to go harder huh?”
Would whine a LOT when subbing or just being the primary receiver he might even call himself pathetic
Likes to guide your body and find areas to focus your pleasure when he gets super serious
When he’s fiendin for a fuck, he’s so much more messy and doesn’t think at all.
Can and will talk you through your orgasm (all the brothers do but he’s got a talent for it)
Morning wood = morning head (it gets him through the day)
Regularly cuddle fucks until you complain about being too sweaty
Type to stop mid thrust to passionately kiss you and be a little manwhore
Can and will happily give you a lap dance (has to be drunk or in some type of scenario where it’s warranted like the bunny event)
#obey me#obey me shall we date#mammon x mc#mammon#mammon smut#obey me nightbringer#obey me headcanons
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