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ghostwasfound · 3 years ago

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The One That Got Away

*has a bunch of requests i could do* *proceeds to write this instead*

pairings: georgenotfound x reader

pronouns: non used

genre: ansgt. just pure angst. im sad

summary: maybe in another lifetime it could've worked out

warnings: this is sad :( argument, breakup, slight dissociation also a pretty heated make out scene, mention of su*cide

Summer after high school when we first met

The sounds of cheering filled the air. You had finally graduated high school! You had worked so hard to make sure you got into the college you wanted and all your work was paying off with a high GPA.

"y/n"

Turning around, your eyes meet a pair that you recognized. It was a brunette boy from your biology and English class. You always found him very nice looking, and from what you had seen and heard he was a really good person and the few times you did speak to him he lived up to that.

"hey! George, right?"

He nodded his head and a small smile graced his face

"yeah that's me! I just came to congratulate you"

Small talk filled the empty space between the two of you until he finally built up the courage to ask

"do you wanna go get lunch together sometime? or breakfast if that works better- or we could always do dinner but that's probably not as good or if you want-"

"I would love to"

We'd make out in your Mustang to Radiohead

They say you only find one true love in your life. You finally found yours. You and George had been together for a year now and you couldn't imagine it any different.

Now in the back of his beaten down car, you moved in a heated passion filled with pure love. Lips locked together, tongues memorizing every inch of each others mouths, gentle hands caressing your face, and the soft noises that occasionally slipped past your lips.

He pulled away only slightly to mumble soft "I love you"'s against your lips and you smiled against him. As you pulled away to look into his eyes, a suffocating warmth fills your heart. His head dipped into the crevise of your neck, gently kissing the skin before leaving soft purple marks against your collarbone.

And on my 18th birthday we got matching tattoos

Two years. It had been two years that you spent together.

"George I'm scared"

His soft hands reached for yours, sqeezing gently.

"its okay I'm right here. It doesn't hurt I promise"

You had decided to let George get his tattoo first, purely because of how scared you were, but after seeing the excitement in his eyes you took a deep breath and smiled.

A sun and a moon. A small sun was now tattooed onto George's wrist, and a moon on yours. He truly was your sun.

The moon needs the sun to shine.

But the sun is fine without the moon.

If only you had realized sooner.

Used to steal your parents' liquor and climb to the roof Talk about our future like we had a clue

"Hurry george!"

As hard as you tried to sound serious, you couldnt help but giggle as he attempted to climb onto the roof. Finally reaching the top, you handed him the stolen bottle of vodka and a bottle of coke. Reaching his hands down he helped you climb up next to him, the both of youre cheeks hurt from the giddy smiles on your faces, elated from the stupidity of the situation, but also from the pure love of being with each other.

Finally sitting next to the boy, you got to look out at the horizon. Beautiful shades of pinks and oranges filled the sky, as if an artist had come and painted it, knowing exactly how to make it look perfect. and so it was.

It was perfect.

Never planned that one day I'd be losing you

Hot tears streamed down your flushed cheeks

"I cant spend every day with you y/n!"

"George its been a week and you've barely said a word to me!"

Maybe you were overreacting. Maybe it was nothing. But it hurt, and as soon as you tried to tell him how you felt, all of his walls came up. Seeing him this defensive was so different. It was terrifying...

"I have a life outside of you why cant you realize that!"

"All I want is for you to at least try include me! Since you started streaming its like I'm nothing anymore! Why cant you just fit me into your life..."

Your voice faded into a whisper

"i just want to know i mean something to you still"

In another life I would be your girl We'd keep all our promises Be us against the world In another life

I would make you stay So I don't have to say you were The one that got away The one that got away

"we're forever right George?"

"forever"

Though you were both drunk out of your minds, you sat across from your lover, hands on the sides of his face which was filled with nothing but adoration.

"I promise"

I was June and you were my Johnny Cash Never one without the other, we made a pact

Dancing around the kitchen to old Johnny cash songs, George's eyes filled to the brim with fondness for the person dancing around, begging him to join. So he did. And so you spent god knows how long dancing and laughing to the songs that filled the room.

Sometimes when I miss you I put those records on

"okay you can open them"

your eyelids softly fluttered open, to see your lover standing nervously with a record in his hand. A Johnny cash record. He knew you had an old record player that your mother had gifted you when you were in your high school years. A tenderness pulled at your heart as you smashed your lips into his.

now those records sit in the corner of you room, haunting you with the memories that plagued your mind every night.

Someone said you had your tattoo removed

you tried everything to get rid of the thought of him, but it was like you could never escape it.

"hey y/n right?"

"yeah?"

A stranger stood in front of you. A look of pity on the young women's face. You seemed to be getting a lot of those.

"you uh... you're George ex right"

It felt like a stab through the heart. It felt like maybe it wasn't true, but now hearing someone say it straight to your face. It hurt. You knew it would but perhaps that just made it worse.

"y-yeah I am"

"oh... I work at the tattoo parlor down the road"

The one you and George got your tattoos at.

"well I saw him come in today to get the tattoo removed... I'm so sorry..."

Oh.

He really had moved on, huh.

Little did you know, George spent long nights staring at the tattoo on his wrist.

It felt like it was mocking him.

He just wanted to be able to forget you.

That's what was best, right.

And so he got rid of anything that had any memories of you attached. He even got new sheets because if he focused enough he could still smell your perfume. Or perhaps that was just his mind holding on to the sweet smell, fooling him into a false sense of you still laying next to him, sharing soft kisses and sweet whispers.

Saw you downtown singing the blues It's time to face the music, I'm no longer your muse

A familiar voice chimed through the air. Turning around, you blocked out the sounds of your friends and your eyes caught onto the man who you had been trying so hard to move on from. He was singing a soft melody, a soft smile on his face.

He looked...

Happy.

All this money can't buy me a time machine, no Can't replace you with a million rings, no

You were left with nothing. Even if you had more money than you ever had, even if your friends bought you supposed "early birthday" presents, that you knew were purely bought out of pity, nothing filled the emptiness that plagued you. It hollowed you out and and drained all of your energy. It taunted you and you saw his face in every stranger, heard his voice in every song.

Some days you would wake up smiling, your mind tricking you into thinking he was right there next to you. His skin against yours, his voice whispering sweet nothing into your ears.

I should've told you what you meant to me 'Cause now I pay the price

"I cant do this"

Those four words. They ripped your chest open and pushed all the air out of your lungs.

"okay"

That's all you could say. No other words could form on your tongue. You wanted to scream and yell and tell him how much you love him. How much you need him. But you couldn't.

"goodbye y/n"

His voice drenched with pain, but still he gave you a soft smile. That stupid. stupid. smile.

As soon as he stepped outside, you fell to your knee's, not caring about the bruises that would most definitely form later. Why couldn't you run outside and beg him too stay.

Outside the front door, George fell apart. Why did he have to do this. He still loved you but he was scared. He was so scared. He did this to stop you from hurting but all he did was hurt you more. The look of agony framing your perfect face tormented him and still does to this day.

In another life I would be your girl We'd keep all our promises Be us against the world In another life I would make you stay So I don't have to say you were The one that got away The one that got away

In the end, no matter how the stars aligned this lifetime just wasn't made for you to be together. So you killed yourself in the most beautiful way possible. You fell in love with someone you couldn't be with. In the end even if you were meant to be, you weren't meant to last.

But you will look for him in every universe, every night sky, in every flower field, cause its always been him and always will be.

AUTHORS NOTE: lmaoooo im really sad rn so my brain said "write angst" and i said "yes" so know this ugly mess exists haha

Any comments, follows, likes and reblogs are appreciated

I love you all <3 drink water, eat food and take your meds.

#george x reader #georgenotfound x reader #mcyt x reader #dsmp x reader #dreamsmp x reader #dream x reader #angst #gnf x reader #gnf angst #gnf x reader angst #x reader

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vetrubius · 4 years ago

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UKAIXFEMREADER!

Ukai responding to you saying "c*m inside me"

Word Count: 1,408

A/N: hEMLOI moi babies, I got an amazing response on DaichixFemReader, I’m so glad so I kinddddd of decided to spice it up for Ukai. I, in no way support toxic relationships. And I wrote it extra long so y’all can feel extra ;)) i haven't proof read this bc its 4 am and im max tired, so i apologise in advance. ALSO DARK ACADEMIA PERSONNA IS JUST SO 😩

Warnings: SMUT, ANGST, toxic relationships, crying, trauma, smoking, alcohol, slight fluff (interact only if you’re 18+), breeding kink

It was like every other afternoon, you by the balcony watching the rain fall on the lane below. Single men with their cigarettes in hands, couples with their arms intertwined under the same umbrella, the cigarette shop where a group of high school boys hung around. The balcony had always been your safe space. It was one of the ways you’d met Keinshin Ukai.

You two had accidentally made an eye contact. You, on your balcony and him, near the shop. He’d adored you the second he’d laid his eyes on you; draped in a white lace tunic and grey shorts which reached your knees. The darkest shade of lipstick which you wore with your hair down, made you look as if you were an angel which arrived right in front of him.

Since then, he’d be there promptly at 7 pm and you at the balcony having many unspoken conversations between the two of you.

You’d run out of cigarettes one morning while you were on your way to your publishing house.You’d always been an avid reader with bottomless thirst for content. It was a good day, you had a meeting with the board head. After putting on a jacket on your mauve camisole, you’d run across the cigarette shop to find your favourites. Had it not been that morning, your numbers would never have been exchanged and future dates wouldn’t have been made for the same evening.

-----flashback-----

The room was heavy with the smell of cigarettes and weed as you popped another bottle of wine.

“I did not take you to be a reader,” Ukai said, taking a puff and keenly maintaining eye contact.

“And I sir, did not take you for a shopkeeper AND a coach” you said, smirking and pouring in his empty glass.

“Well, I do love those boys plus that teacher is very...persuasive?,” he said with a slight cringe and looking u0p. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s very amazing and managed to land us a match with a lot of great teams but he’s very weird, but a good kinda weird you know?”.

Nah you didn’t know. You were too busy admiring him. Of course you were a little young for him but he was too attractive for his age. The blonde with his brown sideburns and three piercings. He looked so sinful.

It dawned on him how you’d been staring at him. And he’d sensed the high tension in the room that was enough to devour the two of you. And that’s when he leaned in slightly, holding the side of your face in your hand. “I know you’ve been wanting me sweetheart. I do too,” he said brushing his lips with yours. “And I think I may fall in love with you this way. The way you’re in my hands right now makes me feel like I'm on an ecstasy high.”

Your lips met and kissed you like it was the last time he was gonna kiss you. Like you were Persephone in the arms of Hades and you were gonna fly away.

You somehow knew. You knew this was it. You were gonna fall so hard for this man. This high felt like you’d finally reached what you wanted and you realised it was gonna hurt you if he ever left.

-----Present-----

“BUT I’M TIRED OF NOT SEEING YOU FOR SO MANY DAYS, JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING WITH THE KIDS DOESN’T MEAN YOU DON’T SEE ME!

AM THEY MORE IMPORTANT THAN I AM?” a sludge of tears and mascara flowing down your face with your bra strap sliding off your arm. It had been too frustrating for you. You’d been missing him to the point you’d wear his remaining scent. You’d stayed up nights wishing you’d hear the door unlock. It was too painful for you.And he refused to understand that.

“You’re fucking overreacting. I’m leaving. I’ll come home after a few days.” he said extinguishing his cigarette on the ivory ashtray you got for his 29th birthday and picking his gym bag up.

“I HOPE YOU NEVER FUCKING COME BACK-” you shouted as he headed for the door. “I think…….. this is it. We’re done.” You said slipping on the floor in a puddle of sobs. This was toxic. You had to leave him. But it was so heavy for you. You could never do that. He was your soulmate after all.

You hear the door shut.

Your fragile heart splits into pieces. Is that it? This is how we end? Your thoughts kept running as fast as a marathon, too fast for you to process.

“It’s fine. I don’t need him anyway. You say turning the lights off of the bathroom and slipping in the empty bathtub and shutting your eyes and being enveloped by sleep.

You felt a hand pat on your head and a bright light in front of you. “Hey sweetheart…”

It didn’t even take a second for you to go on defensive mode and whack his hand off you.

“I miss you. I know what I do is wrong. I know I don’t give you time. I know how much this means to you. I’m sorry. Just a little more, okay? Then I’ll be all yours and I’ll be proud to call the boys ours. I love you, Y/N. I can’t imagine my life witho-”

That’s all it takes for him everytime. Just opening his stupid mouth and you’re off to sprint to his arms. Fucking moron.

“I still hate you” you said between the kisses and pulling his hoodie off. You wanted him. That’s all you cared about. You wanted to hurt him but no matter what, you couldn’t. “I hate that you make me feel this way. But I love you more and this is your last chance. Make me happy or I leave.”

He whooped you up in his arms and carried you to the bed “And why would I let you leave? You’re mine.” He said keeping you and hovering on top of you with his biceps bulging. Amd slowly kissing your face, jaw and neck

“You’re the greatest thing that has happened to me, I’ll never let you go Y/N” Ukai said as his lips were dangerously close to your cleavage.

He spent a good 30 minutes between your thighs like a lapdog. Licking up any blessing you had to offer. His eye contact never breaking, his fingers working their ways through your pussy, his tongue overstimulating your clit. “I know you like this, my love. It’s been twice in 35 minutes I think my dick needs a little bit of it too.” He said getting up and unbuckling himself. Your eyes now watery with the overstimulation and throat dried up.

“I want a baby….I want a reason for you to come home to if not me.” You said rasply.

‘What do you mean, sweets? Can you elaborate on the making baby part?”

“I want you to come inside me. Tonight.”

He grabbed your thighs mercilessly and shoved himself inside. “Whatever she wants, she gets. I’m gonna fuck you until you’re dripping and then make sure that the mini us knows how much I love you and you’re worth coming home to both of you.” he whispered in your ear.

He gave you a few seconds to adjust to him inside you. “M-mmmoveEE PLEASE” you whined against his shoulder. Without losing a single second, you felt your body split. You knew he’d been abstaining from sex. But this feeling was so overwhelming to both of you.

The air was filled with moans, squelches and the mix of smell of cigarettes and lavender. You felt him speed up. Missionary had always been a weak spot for Keishin. Your mouth drooling over your cheeks, your eyes half shut, your body limping and the way your boobs bounced under you. it has always been a turn on for him.

You felt him speed up. His name falling out of your mouth as you were blinded by the speed he was going at. “I….I’M COMING BABE” you grind your thighs through as his walls white wash you inside.

He climbed off of you to adore your cunt stuffed with his cream, dripping on the white sheet with a light brown floral pattern.

“I love you, Y/N. Don’t ever think I don’t wanna come home and not see you. You’re the only thing I have.”

series masterlist

#ukai smut #ukai x reader #haikyuu ukai #ukai scenario #haikyuu smut #haikyuu x you #haikyuu x reader #nishinoya smut #kageyama smut #asahi smut #tanaka smut #kiyoko smut #karasuno smut #ukai angst #haikyuu angst #angst #haikyuu fluff #ukai fluff

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heliianth · 3 years ago

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Hi helli do u wanna maybe possibly talk about the pet wars and how they reflect on like c!dream n c!sapnap? 👉👈 Its like

i've been thinking about it but the most ordered thought i can make is thinking about c!sapnap and going :((((((( D:

hnn ok. so. i wanna talk abt c!dream first bc hes my kitty cat u know how i am. c!dream has some very interesting interactions as it pertains to c!sapnap or c!sapnap's involvement in the pet wars. the most prevalent one that caught my mind was how he approaches mars and beckerson. here are a couple quotes i'll throw at the wall. FUNDY: "...So I joined and I’ve noticed this—this little pet—I had a little pet, alright? Well, it’s—the thing is… he is now buried six feet deep underneath the ground due to a person named Snapchat. What is Sapnap’s fish? Just a random question, just—what’s his name?”

DREAM: “Mars and Beckerson.”

FUNDY: “Alright, so. Mars, great, I’m just picking a random one. I would love to pet the fish on my own without you being there.”

DREAM: “These fish are not just Sapnap’s, okay?”

FUNDY: “Oh.”

DREAM: “They are the first, like, named animals on the entire server and they need to remain… y’know, alive. But—” (Aug. 29 2020, Fundy's The War Against Sapnap..., 4:20) “Tommy. I’m about to give you something, and don’t tell Sapnap this, but no matter what you do, you cannot destroy or kill or damage it. Okay? But you can have it and you can act like you will, but you can’t, okay? Promise me that you won’t. That’s Sapnap’s fish.” (Oct. 5 2020, Tommy's TommyInnit, Dream & Technoblade TEAM UP (dream smp war), 1:32:40) i'm sure there are more displaying what im getting at. dream cares very much for mars and beckerson in one way or the other, and honestly i'm a little unsure of what to make of it? in fundy's video, he immediately leads fundy to sapnap's dogs and foxes, and specifically tells him and niki which fox is sapnap's, and, in this VOD, he straight up leads tommy to sapnap's secret base filled with his dogs and cats (though he denies it was with the intent to have them killed)—so his care probably isn't by virtue of them being sapnap's pets. i think at one point he genuinely considered them sentimental because of how important they were to sapnap, but considering they ended up in his vault during the S2 finale i really don't think they remained as such. they probably took the same turn the discs did, if i'm real, as in he began to see them only as weapons to be used against someone he thought was powerful. if you look at it through the lens of his words to techno in prison being truthful, c!dream might perceive it as a spiteful sort of self-defense or as a sort of justice for the hurt he proclaims sapnap caused him. i really do think the pet wars were some of the things that made c!dreamnap's relationship degrade. dream constantly tries to stop things from escalating between them, explicitly telling people not to imply his involvement or backing out retrospectively [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6], so c!dream knows what he's doing here, and later on i don't think he cares too much about whether sapnap finds out anymore. in this VOD, dream wants to kill sapnap for next to no discernible reason? iirc, i think its some petty unrelated reason? which causes sapnap to levy some heavy accusations of "[his] own brothers betraying [him]" (1:01:14). and in this one sapnap says dream handing tommy mars was a betrayal on the level of eret (1:43:33). it's obvious that these scattered events were the beginning of a major breakdown in trust between them. i've seen a few nebulous takes floating around saying sapnap overreacted to dream's spirit speech but honestly, considering their history of tenuous trust and sapnap's near-fear (maybe out of respect? but nonetheless unhealthy for a friendship. also flypaw has a compilation of this. i would go digging but its 3 AM) of dream, AND what i've talked about here, i wouldn't blame him for having such a severe reaction. i think the major reflection on sapnap here is how he considers c!dream after everything is said and done. c!sapnap is a character who is very desperate to not be alone, and he knows deep down that c!dream will not be the person he remembers him being and obviously cannot see him as someone who will become that person in the future. i think his reflection in this VOD (around the 25:00 mark) is pretty telling. but there's also his statements from tina's tour stream, where he says he thinks about c!dream every day and wishes he was [out of prison] with him. c!sapnap is a very squishy little guy and i think he's still processing the big change that is c!dream not being in his corner. on the other hand, i really don't think c!dream reciprocates. you can guess as to whether he genuinely feels like c!sapnap betrayed him (i haven't gotten the prison streams in my transcriptions), but i don't think he cares for him much at all. i think out of c!dteam, c!dream cares for c!george the most in the way you care for the memory of a person, not them presently. and i don't think he's cared for c!sapnap for a while, if the nov 28th stream is enough to go by. ANYWAYS hi night ily :3

#u are so lucky my schedule is ass rn #like i ate dinner 1 hour ago im fucked #long post #old.dsmp.txt

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a-crash-in-time-collection · 3 years ago

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Chapter 7: The Return Of An Old Freind

As tough as the clan may be at first sight, worry could spread quickly among them. At first it wasn't anything grand, as Sven would explain the leaders were looking for better shelter. It was when their children and the ghost seemed to leave and failed to come back when everyone allowed themselves to show what they were feeling. And while they were relieved when the family came back, many were confused and worried.

Admintly, Right Hand Man's eyes were the main thing that kept the worry from disappearing. At first, second, and many more glances, it appeared that some sort of blue gem had grown over the robotic side of his face. Like some sort of creature was trying to take from, and using him as a host of sorts. Needless to say, many were shocked to find out it was ice. That was all they needed to hear to understand they weren't getting better shelter anytime soon.

Right Hand Man ended up getting scolded a bit by the head of the medical department, Shelia, why she tried to remove the ice from his eye. Right Hand Man just silently took it all, although since it covered his metal side, he felt she was overreacting. However, it was taking a while for the ice to be removed. After about an hour of trying, it was clear melting it alone wasn't going to do any good.

Reginald at frist objected to the idea of trying to chip it off his eye, for fear of it hitting and breaking the glass. However, he agreed after it was pointed out the ice being there too long could cause issues, whether they broke the glass in the end or not. He just sat beside Right Hand Man, looking away and occasionally flinching at the sound of ice being chipped away. It was almost like waiting out a storm.

Eventually, all the ice was removed, allowing the two to leave and start to find the next step in their plan. By now, evening had come, the area getting darker, but not where it was impossible to see. The sky started to look more like a painting then the bright or dark blue it was usually known by everyone for. Reginald let a small smile from on his face at the sight. Before a blush also formed as a rumble went through the air, him grabbing his stomach slightly.

"'ungery, Are we?" Right Hand Man asked teasingly, chuckling slightly when he got a huff in return. He rubbed where his cybernetic eye was slightly, and nearly jolted back at the sudden chill. Ok, maybe Sheila did have a bit of a point when she was scolding him. Not that he was paying attention. He glanced back at his husband. "'ey, I am too, no need to be worried about it. We'll just grab somet'in' from t'e box again."

"The box was nearly empty this morning, probably is empty now." Reginald sighed, glancing back at Right Hand Man as the two approached where the others were. "I suppose we could see if we can have some of those large cherries from the forest... although I don't trust the colour."

"Out of all t'e t'ings you could possibly not trust in t'at g'ost's woods, it's t'e color of some fruit?" Right Hand Man shook his head in a playful manner, but Reginald just gave him a faint stare. He knew the hidden meaning behind that, and Right Hand Man knew he knew. The cyborg let out a sigh. "Look, I know you say we can trust 'im, and I'll admit, 'e could've just left t'e kids alone in t'at place, but still..."

"You get a bad feeling and think we shouldn't trust him." Reginald finished for him, shaking a head to the side. He rubbed his gloved hand slightly, trying to get rid of some of the cold from earlier. "I know you don't. But please, just give him a chance. I'm sure he means well. Just has his... own way of expressing it.. right Hattie?" Reginald called as she entered his sights.

She glanced over at the two. "If it's about something good with Snatcher, yes." She said, watching Right Hand Man glance to the side and Reginald giving a small grin in response. She rolled her eyes, before letting out a slight yawn. "Weird... I'm not really tried, but I am at the same time." She noted aloud, getting a slight eye roll from Platinum, who would never know the definition of being tried.

"I'm surprised I haven't collapsed into a coma by now." Burt added, getting a slight glare from Sven beside him. "I haven't had any coffee in two days. Two days! I asked Mr. Thicc to just throw a pot over a fire and make some and he said no!"

"Because it would ruin the pot, Burt." The chef explained triedly, having sat down ageist the edge of the orbital station's broken off wall. He knew Burt wasn't trying to be mean, it's just the guy seemed to think if he didn't have coffee, he was going to mess everything up or something. Not that he would ever share those thoughts aloud. "And the last thing we need is pots being ruined. We'll need them for when the kitchen is working again."

"You mean if, at this point." Sven sighed, leaning against Calla triedly. He smiled as he felt her grab his shoulders, most likely to keep him steady even though he could stand fine on his own. He then noticed some of the others staring at him. "What? I hate to say it, but I'm just being honest here. We have no way to properly fix half of the inside alone!"

"We know Sven, trust me, we know." Reginald sighed, glancing down at the ground slightly. He felt Right Hand Man wrap an arm around his shoulder, and while he appreciated his attempt to cheer him up, it wasn't going to do much. Sven glanced down in a bit of shame, glancing at Calla, who for a moment seemed to be in space. "Just don't say that around the others, ok?" Sven nodded, although the look in his eyes said 'not yet'.

"Welp, sucks for you all." Platinum said, shrugging slightly, before getting a slight shove from Hat Girl. He held his hands up in defense, he knew she wasn't going to hurt him, nor meant anything from the shove, but still. "Woah, sorry ok! I was just kidding! Can't a topbot make one joke about how his lack of need for stuff like food is useful?" He asked.

Burt threw his head into his hands, letting out a slight grone. This was the most clear emotion people have seen from Burt in quite a bit. "I blame you for all this, Fredrick." He mumbled, the cheese hat toppat giving a faint glare at him. The others let out faint chuckles, trying to find some humor in this. Burt sighed, crossing his arm as he regained himself. "It's almost like I can still smell food."

"Because I think you do." Calla said, glancing over at him, both him and Sven glancing over to give her a confused look. "I can smell something in the air. And... strangely it smells like it's coming closer. I think?"

Hat Girl took a sniff of the air. "Yeah, I smell it too." Hat Girl said, glancing in the direction it seemed to be the strongest in. It was only then they noticed the bushes at the edge of the woodlands were beginning to shake, like something was inside. Right Hand Man didn't want to take any chances, getting in front of the group and getting his lazer blaster ready. "Papa, wait. They could be harmless!"

Before Right Hand Man had a chance to respond, something gray pushed itself out from the bushes. At first they were a bit startled by the sudden appearance, but then realized it wasn't some sort of creature. It was some sort of serving table with wheels like those in fancy restaurants, only this one was a bit bigger and, as they came to find, longer than those. A strange site, even for a planet like this.

Eventually, it came to a stop, and by now had gotten the attention of some other toppats. Most were questioning how it got here and why. Some seemed to be debating whether or not to quickly garb as much of the silver covered dishes on it as they could.

There was a faint huffing of sorts, faintly able to be heard from the other side. Hat Girl got past Right Hand Man, walking along the tables side to get to the other end. She already had a hunch who it was, she just had questions. After about a minute or two of just walking, she came to the end, and glanced at the figure that was there. She wasn't even surprised when she saw the fur, giving a confused smile. "Cooking Cat?"

"W-Who else?" Cooking Cat asked, trying to catch her breath.

"Are you ok, you look tired." Hat Girl stated, offering the cat a hand. After a moment, the cat took it, and was lifted back onto her feet. She hadn't changed a day, or if she did, it wasn't something visible to the teen girl's eyes. Cooking Cat soon hop onto a empty spot on the table, allowing the two to be more face to face. "What are you even doing out here anyway? I don't take you as the type to get lost."

"Because I'm not lost!" Cooking Cat stated, giving a slight giggle at the confused look she received in response. "I happened to hear about your clan's whole 'crashed on this planet situation' yesterday from two mafia, and I thought I would stop by to help!"

"Hattie?" Reginald called as he walked up to her in confusion, and slight worry. He saw the orange blur appear on the table's side, but didn't know what exactly it was. He knew if Hattie hadn't fallen over by now, it was likely safe, but he had to make sure. He stopped when he noticed the cat in the chef's uniform, a bit surprised at first, but soon the pieces clicked into place. "Oh! Is this one of your friends?"

"Yup!" Hat Girl said, a smile on her face. "This is Cooking Cat! She makes some of the best food on this planet, trust me, I let her use the oven in my ship before! And I guess she brought us this food. How did you know we needed it?" She turned her attention back to the cat.

"Well, I'm not an alien like you all are, but I can assume food isn't a common thing after a ship crashes." She said, shrugging her arms.

Reginald took another glance at the table. The fact she came out here just to give them all this. Sure, most of it likely wouldn't last past a few hours, but they could get what they could save in an icebox or freezer. He smiled, as he turned to the cat. "You have no idea how much this means to us all. I wish we could repay you..."

"There's no need to worry, Mister! As soon as I heard she was back on this planet, I just knew I had to do something for her!" Cooking Cat waved him off, glancing back at Hat Kid with a smile. She then seemed to pause. "You've grown quite a lot these past few years! I mean, I shouldn't be surprised. But I was sorta expecting you would still be your old size.”

"Hey, being an alien doesn't mean I grow any faster or slower than humans." She chuckled slightly, glancing back at Reginald, who gave her a slight smile, before leaving, assuming to start planning how the food would go out. She could faintly see Fredrick holding Burt's shoulder, assumingly to keep him from garbing any and all coffee that could be here. "Oh, while I'm on the topic! How's Mu doing?"

"Why don't cha ask her yourself!" Hat Girl tilted her head to the side at her words. As if on cue, another table of sorts started to come out of the bushes. More stuff was on this one, likely making it slightly heavier. By the time it was all in view, she could see the Mustached Teen appear at the end, wiping her forehead slightly. A small smile formed on Hat Girl's face.

"Mu!" A robotic voice called along with Hat Girl's as the two raced over to the red-hooded girl. Mu spotted them and took a sigh, as if more tried by the sight of them. They soon got by her side, the siblings glancing at each other with a chuckle, before Platinum turned his attention back to the visitor. "Mu! We didn't expect you to show up so soon. We would, well, we would've tried to clean the place up, but uhhh.." He glanced back at the crashed station.

"Wow, that is a lot of cleaning up to do." Mu said after a moment of processing, giving a faint chuckle. "I wasn't planning on coming here today anyway. But Cooking Cat needed some help getting everything here, so I thought I would help. Needed an excuse to the get out of town."

"Well, we're happy to have you here!" She placed a hand on her shoulder. She wanted to give her a hug, but knew Mu wouldn't like that without a warning. Mu rolled her eyes, removing Hat Girl's hand from the shoulder. Platinum wrapped an arm around Hat Girl's shoulder, making her chuckle slightly. She then brought her attention back to Mu. "I'm not sure when exactly we'll get to eat. Most of the members here are probably starving after all."

"Again, one good thing about me being me." Platinum said, watching Hat Girl shake her head and Mu give him a faintly confused look. "Oh! I don't need to eat since I'm a robot. Or drink or the other stuff humans need too. I know, I'm lucky."

"I'm not dumb, I knew that." Mu said, slight offence in her voice. "I was wondering why you think it's so good you're missing out on everything except oil." Platinum's mouth was stuck open in shock, him processing what just happened the best he could. Hat Girl couldn't help it, she let out a laugh that likely drew some attention over to them. Mu tried holding back her own chuckle, but it proved useless in the end.

"Oh my goodness! That was perfect Mu!" Hat Girl said, eventually having to wipe a tear from her eye. As much as she loved her brother, she couldn't help but find it funny when he got like this. "It was so simple, yet so perfect at the same time!" The girls eventually slowed down there laughing and chuckling, and Platinum was able to pull himself out of being a statue, crossing his arms.

"Hattie!" They turned when Reginald's voice was heard, him walking over to the group. By now the smell of food had grown around them, as the food was now exspose to the air. Hat Girl would be lying if she tried to claim her mouth wasn't watering. "Oh, Mu is here too? That's wonderful!" He smiled, before resuming. "It might take a few minutes, but you should get ready to grab your food. And don't steal half the cookies, again, ok?"

She held her hands up in defense at his knowing glare, but couldn't help but let out a giggle. "Don't worry, Dad. It would be bad for me to go for sweets right away anyway." Satisfied with the answer, Reginald gave a nod and walked back to where Right Hand Man was.

A bit of a system was set up so no one tries to rush in for the food. The last thing they needed was it all to go over the ground after all. The younger kids were the first ones, their parents alongside them to help them get it, and so they wouldn't just pick any and all sweets their eyes laid on. The teens would go next, then it was mostly going to go from higher to lower, which everyone seemed alright with.

Hat Girl tried to keep her dish somewhat simple when it came time for her and the other teens to go up. When she walked away, her plate simply had some of the grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, mac and cheese, corn, and a breakfast sausage. She was half tempted to dig in at that very second, but wanted to keep her manor-... politeness.

"You know, going two days without food, I thought you would have gotten some more." Mu noted aloud as she came up to where she was. Mu’s plate simply considend of pork chops, green beans, and mashed potatoes, all of which looked like they were just carelessly placed there. Must not have wanted to spend too long on garbing the food. "Unless you have some sort of longer timeframe you all can go without food.

Hat Girl shrugged. "I just didn't want to take too much. There's many people here after all, and I want to be sure we all get something. Although... I was laying my eyes on some of those chocolate strawberries..."

"Yeah, I noticed" Mu snorted, letting out a chuckle as they got near one of the fire pits. Fredrick blew on the wood he held, finally getting a bit of a flame. He tossed it in the fire, and let out a slight strike as it burst to life so suddenly. Burt caught onto him, rolling his visible eye while Platinum couldn't help but laugh. "I suppose this is your first time lighting one?" Mu comment, to which Fredrick pretended she wasn't there.

"Hey, I could probably help, but Dad doesn't like me messing with stuff that could possibly hurt us. Me being made of metal- '' He stopped when he saw a faint glare enter the girls eyes. "Ok, jeez, no more robo talk."

"Thank you." Hat Girl stated, before taking a bite out of her food. Maybe it was just not having anything besides fruit, bread, and bars for the past two days, but her eyes nearly started watering at the taste. This food had to be at least an hour old if it came all the way from mafia town, but it still tasted fresh out of the oven! Or pots. "Man, I knew I said she makes some of the best food on this planet, but I forgotten how good!"

"I don't care for the food itself mostly. My eye is on all that coffee." Burt felt a slight smack, seeing a glare from Fredrick as he pulled his arm back. "What I do and don't eat is not any of your concern. Besides, you're most likely going after the cheese."

"At least I was planning on getting some soup as well! Or any of the actual food over there!" Fredrick pointed his hand over at the table, where now most of the higher ups were trying to get their food, some more picky than others. In response, Burt just shrugged and walked over to the table, leaving Fredrick to let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm going to find Sammy." He mumbled, walking away.

Reginald happened to come over with Right Hand Man then, giving the toppat a confused look. "Is he alright?" he asked, sitting across from where Hat Girl and Mu were. Right Hand Man gently tosses the two a bottle of water, before sitting besides Reginald. "I don't think I've ever seen him this upset before. Then again, we hardly see him."

"Yeah, he's just a little upset about Burt only wanting the coffee. It's weird, they were having a similar conversion before the station crash." Platinum said, shrugging his shoulders slightly. He glanced at his parents dishes, seeing Reginald had picked out that 'fish and chips' dish along with some steak. RHM had steak as well, as well as some roasted potatoes, broccoli and cauliflower. He also had some Strawberry shortcake as well. Guess he must have had a bit of a sweet tooth today.

"So, Mu. If you don't mind me asking." Hat Girl said, getting the blonde to look at her. "You said you needed an excuse to get out of mafia town? How come?" She took another quick bite of food.

"Funny story actually." Mu said, a smirk forming on her face at the thought of it all. "So, I may or might not have found these small pink and purple overalls just laying around. And then sneaked in Mafia HQ. Then waited for Mafia Jar to fall asleep. Then for his guards to leave. Then guled the overalls to the mafia's jar, well, jar." She couldn't help but let out an evil chuckle. "So yeah, pretty sure I have a bounty until those idiots forget about it tomorrow."

The area around the campfire was silent, before Right Hand Man broke out laughing. "T'at's just perfect! 'nd Doin' all t'at at yer age as well!" He felt Reginald garb his shoulder faintly and he calmed down, allowing Platinum's laughter and Hat Girl's giggles to be more clear. "Normally I don't condemn people doin' t'at, but 'e disbursed it."

"How's everyone doing here?" A voice called, the group looking over faintly as the orange cat appeared again. "I figure since everything seems to be going well with the tables, I might as well check on you all!" She glanced at the fire faintly bringing her paws to it for a bit of warmth. "This is really nice. It's a good thing you didn't crash in the desert. Although, you likely have some supper alien tech that could turn sand to fire."

"I'm the only alien of us." Hat Girl said, before pausing a moment. "Well, I guess technically they're aliens too, to this planet at least. But they're just like the humans like Mu on here." She bump a shoulder into that of the red hooded girl. "Besides, even if we had something like that, the sand would become glass."

"Well, that's true I suppose." Cooking Cat shrugged, taking a quick bite out of the fish she brought over. "Say, how did you meet them all anyway? Since they're not your original species and all."

"Her ship crashed on our planet and I happened to see. Thank goodness we got there in time to help her out safely." Reginald looked over at his daughter with a smile, before glancing up slightly, a thought entering his mind. "I wonder if anyone else ever found it. I recall checking the news the first few days and saw nothing about it."

"If anyone's found it by now, MrBeast would have made a 'I Spent 24 Hours In The Mysterious Crashed SpaceShip' video." Platinum comment, getting an eye roll from Right Hand Man.

Mu gave the topbot a confused look. "Who's MrBeast?"

"He's a Youtuber, if you know what that means." Hat Girl said, revising a shrug from Mu in return. "Makes sense, I knew you had a version of Twitter and Ebay here, but wasn't sure about that site. Anyway, he does these crazy challenge videos and a lot of the time puts money on the line. Also gives a lot of it away. Me and Platinum occasionally watch him when we're bored."

"Good guy, then." Mu nodded, seeming pleased with the answer. By now she had finished her plate, and set it off to the side.

"If we ever get a connection to youtube here, we'll be sure to show you!" Platinum said, before gasping. "Maybe we can make some version of Youtube here and use that to get pons! I tried to do the 24 hours on an island challenge once! Only made it to 34 minutes before Pops dragged me back to the airship again."

"I still don't know how you got the drop pod to send you there, those were programmed so anyone under 18 couldn't get themselves in a situation like that!" Reginald let out a tired sigh, leaning against his husband.

"Besides Platinum." Right Hand Man spoke up, rubbing his husband's back slightly. "Makein' videos would be t'e worst way to go around t'e pon situation."

To the cyborg's slight surprised, Platinum didn't try to fight the claim. Instead he just let out a sigh, garbing a nearby log and tossing it into the fire. Reginald just shook his head at the bot, preferring he'd not risk getting burnt but too tired to do anything about it. A frown could be seen on the silver face. "Yeah, Pops. I know..."

The area was slowly getting darker, as evening was slowly turning into night. Only a faint bit of a glowing orange could be seen by the treeline, the sun would be gone within the next hour. By now more camp fires were being lit up, and the glow from metal member's eyes were becoming more noticeable. Small flares would escape from the flame, doing a small dance for the group before burning out and becoming lost to the human eye.

The heat from the fire was becoming more apparent the colder the air around them came. She reached for her neck, losing the scarf slightly to allow it to cool off. She was faintly able to see some member's silhouettes as they got things ready for that night. She was faintly able to see Sven and Calla chatting as the former was grabbing some buckets, while Fredrick worked on setting back up some tents that had fallen earlier that day.

"Cooking Cat, right?" Hat Girl nearly jolted at the sudden voice near the group, turning over to see Mr. Thicc look down at the cat, who nodded with a humm. "I know you must have already gotten this compliment from many others, but I really have to say that your food is amazing. Some of the best I've had in my life."

Cooking Cat gave a smile to the man. "No need for thanks, sir. Cooking for others has always been a passion of mine! Why, that's why I gave myself my name after all!" She gave a small giggle.

"Wait, cooking cat's your rea... You know what. After meeting people named 'Conductor' or 'Mustache Girl' it's too late to ask how names work here." Platinum said, before pausing and looking over at the girls. "Uhh, no offence Mu."

"None taken." Mu shrugged slightly, before pulling her sleeve up as far as it could go.

"'ey, my names Right Hand Man, so I don't 'ave any rig't to start judgein'." Right Hand Man stated as he looked at Mu. "Atltoug' I would be lyin' if I said I didn't find t'e amount of t'ese types of names weird. It's almost like yer all goin' by TV host nicknames."

"Not that I blame you in her case. Cooking Cat does have a show!" Hat Girl piped up.

"Well, it's had now, although you can still stumble upon some episodes on TV." Cooking Cat chime in, letting out a slight giggle as Hat Girl gave her a confused look. "As fun as it was having one, it was starting to get tiring after a while. It did end up giving me enough pons to open a restaurant in Mafia Town!"

"Wow! Now I wished I knew! Would've stop by to say hi yesterday!" Hat Girl said. And it likely would have kept her and Platinum from walking in when they did, ruining the clan's best chance to get pons... A small sigh left her mouth but she kept a smile.

"Bet it took you a while to get your employees to cook as well as you." Mr. Thicc chuckled slightly as he looked down at her.

"Well...." Cooking Cat sighed. "I don't exactly have any employees. Sure I've had many in the past, but none lasted too long and I never had many at a time. Mafia Town isn't the best place to work at if you're not the owner of a place." Mu gave a nod to that statement, despite having no way to know that exact fact. "Had to close the place today just so I could deliver all this."

"I'm so sorry. If we knew you were going to do this for us, we would have found a way to properly pay you for your lost time" Reginald said, a frown forming on his face. "I do have a small bit of gold, but that won't do much on this planet."

"Oh, there's no need to worry mister." Cooking Cat said, shaking her head, voice still with that joyful tone. "Since it's mostly me running the place, I have enough pons to close for a few days and not lose anything if I wanted to! The only real employees I have are my distant cousin from the metro, and a teen from Alpine who comes in on the weekends. And the fromer doesn't show up much." She let out a sigh. "Would be nice to have a few more hands, though."

There was a humm from the toppat chef, before he snapped his fingers, startlingly the toppat who had drifted into the land of his mind. "I got it! I'll need to talk about it with some of the other chefs, but maybe some of us can start working for you."

"What?" Reginald asked, looking over confused. Unless he was planning on sneaking some food back to the clan, how was that going to help.

"Think about it. Even if we do only make a couple pons per shift, that will at least give us a steady source of money we can used to repair the station." Mr. Thicc said, and Reginald was silent for a moment. The answer was so simple, how come he didn't think of it before. "Sure, it may not be the fastest method to get the station fixed, it'll take forever, but it'll be better then nothing!"

"It's... It's perfect!" Reginald said, nearly hopping out of his seat in the joy and relief that willed his being at that very moment. "It's the answer we needed!" He then brought his attention back to the orange cat. "Well... if you're ok with it, that is."

"Well, you'll all have to wake up mighty early in order to get there on time. But I don't see a problem with it!" Cooking Cat said, a smile forming on her face.

"Then it's settled!" Reginald said, clapping his hands slightly. "Mr. Thicc, please go see if any of our other chefs will be interested in working with her?" The man nodded, gray shoes hitting agest the earth as he disappeared. Reginald let out a sigh of relief, leaning against his husband once again.

"Easy Reg, don't want ya passin' out on us." Right Hand Man chuckled, stroking his lover's hair faintly.

"This is probably the most relaxed I've seen Dad." Platinum chuckled, before glancing up at the sky, as everything got the smallest bit darker. "Welp, I should get to my charger. I'll see you all tomorrow." He gave a faint poke in Hat Girl's shoulder as he left, getting a playful glare in return.

"Well, I suppose I should leave." Cooking Cat, standing back up. "It's gonna be a real pain to get back in the dark. Might as well not make it worse."

"Yeah. Well, it was nice seeing you, I suppose." Mu said, giving a slight wave before getting up, getting ready to leave.

"Wait." Reginald called, the two from this planet looking over at him in such confusion. "We... may not have the best condition for guests right now. But please, allow yourselves to stay the night here. It'll be safer for you, and as of right now, it's about the most we can do in return for the kindness you show us tonight."

"Yeah. You two could even sleep in my tent tonight. It normally has enough room for one comfortably but you two should be able to make it work. I can sleep by one of the fires tonight." Hat Girl chimed in. She caught a slight disaproveable of the lack of tent from Reginald's eye, but he didn't say anything.

"Well... I suppose I'll have Mafia Goons outside my place if I return now." Mu sighed, kicking at the ground. "So I suppose I'll take your offer. Although I could also just spend the night in the boat. Would be easier."

"Now, a boat isn't a place for a young girl like yourself to sleep." Cooking Cat said, hoping up and garbing her hand. Hat Girl noticed a faint glare coming from Mu, but made no comment. She was sure she could guess why the glare was there. "Come on, let's find a place to rest." Mu simply nodded, and they disappeared into the dark. The dark of night, lit up with little fires... The dark of space, lit up by night stars...

"Hattie, are you alright?" Reginald asked, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shook her head, breaking out of her thoughts, glancing back at him. "You seemed... sad there for a moment."

"Yeah. I'm fine." She looked at him, giving him a soft smile. "I'm just glad we got things figured out. We'll be back home before we know it." She'll be gone before she knows it.

#the henry stickmin collection #a hat in time #sven svensson #right hand man #reginald copperbottom #copperright #ahit fanfic #thsc fanfic #henry stickmin fanfic #henry stickmin oc #hat kid #a hat in time fanfic #hat girl #burt curtis #cooking cat #fredrick muenster #mr. Thicc #ahit mustache girl

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sourbat · 4 years ago

Note

“do you want me to give you advice or do you just want me to listen?” magtok or ship if your choice

This got a little self-indulgent.

and yes, it’s magtok

After their shared meeting, the psychiatrist requested that Toki leave, and Magnus stay behind for a little while longer. Neither had any reason to believe the news was bad, but when Magnus does leave the small office some five minutes later, looking a little worse for wear, Toki assumes some misgiving had occurred. Bad news? Failure to meet certain goal posts? An increase in dosage?

After a few handshakes, the required talks with the nurse scheduling the next appointment, it’s a quiet ride down the elevator, with Magnus reading the overview of his meeting in absolute silence. Toki clicks his tongue against his teeth, testing the tone and Magnus’ overall mood. The older man never voices a single complaint the ride down, and continues keeping to himself the walk to the car.

Toki refuses for the ride home to be silent, and immediately snuffs any chance of Magnus spending the next several minutes driving and moping in silence. The keys go into the ignition, and Toki stops him and asks if there is anything he can do to help Magnus. He makes sure not to guess the source of the problem, point a finger or ask any additional questions.

The question hangs above their heads. Toki waits for Magnus’ response, mentally preparing himself for the worse, only to have Magnus drop the keys he had readied for the ignition, and quietly announces that his psychiatrist wants him to consider dropping the mood suppressants.

“She wants you off the suppresscants?” Toki says aloud, taking in the news one word at a time. He falls into the passenger seat, eyes agape and staring out towards the parking lot.

“Yeah.” Magnus squeezes the keys in his hand. “Since my dosage is already so low, she wants me to–”

“Oh, Magnus, this ams such great news!” Toki reaches over to Magnus’ side, pulling him into an awkward, but loving embrace. He rubs his face against a tuft of brown waves, smiling at the tickle.

Toki waited for this day. Magnus worked so hard trying to get better. They’d been to so many sessions. Even on the best of days, Toki knows Magnus didn’t look forward to the trips. He could be in a good mood going in, but the sessions always prove to be stressful, cathartic to the point of it being emotionally overwhelming at times. It isn’t easy.

Manus wriggles underneath him. “You’re really excited about this?”

“Yeps!” Toki happily announces. “You gets to get offs another medicines!”

Satisfied, Toki relinquishes his hold on Magnus and drops back to his seat, but not before picking up the stapled, folded sheets detailing the information of their recent visit. He flips through the pages, stopping at the second to the last where he reads the summary and doctor’s suggestion. There it is, clear as day. The good news. Drop the suppressants to see if Magnus can rely solely on learned techniques and his own hindsight to keep himself in check. It’s real. This is real. It has been such a long time coming, but it’s finally here.

And isn't this one of the pills Magnus couldn’t mix with alcohol? Toki’s eyes glisten with excitement and possibilities. He thinks of the new and old activities he can reintroduce to Magnus, once he is clear, cleansed of this old prescription and off the blasted pills. They can go out and drink more, and Magnus can get drunk again! Maybe Magnus can take other things, too, and Toki wouldn’t have to worry about it getting in the way of decision making, Magnus making rash decisions, or Magnus going from one extreme to the-

Toki notices how quiet it’s gotten, and when he turns and checks on Magnus, sees that he is still fiddling with the keys. His eyes shift between the collective sheets in Toki’s hands, and the many keys and chains he entangles with his busy hands.

“Ims there something wrongs?” Toki asks, not quite catching on to Magnus’ silence.

A frown. “Nothing,” he answers, still eyeing the keys. “Just…didn’t think you’d get so excited.”

Toki folds the sheets messily on top one another. “You ams getting off the medicaskons. Beens a long times since that happens.”

It’s been over a year since dropping another medication. Toki remembers it clear as day. Like now, Toki had been just as excited, but so had Magnus. They’d both been so relieved to know there was one less thing holding Magnus together.

Why isn’t Magnus happy right now?

Toki’s hand crushes the sheets. “Magnus?”

Magnus grips the wheel. “Toki, I don’t think I–”

The leather groans under his hold. Toki grits his teeth against the sound. A nasty weight piles in his stomach the second Magnus tears away from the window to meet him.

His stare lets Toki know it’s dread.

“I don’t think I want to get off the suppressants,” Magnus announces, voice unwavering, but it’s clear he’s upset. Toki can hear the sharp cadence, the hidden snap that was already gathering on the defense. “I… don’t want to stop taking them.”

Toki’s silent. He stares at Magnus, watches his expression turn from nervous to dejected at what Toki assumes is his own disappointed expression. Toki can feel it reach into every fiber of his being. The shock. The sudden turn of events. He must look so surprised, he thinks, but can’t bring himself to check in the mirror. He can’t even get himself to look away from Magnus who keeps eyeing him, waiting for a change, a smile, a supportive line. Anything.

Toki’s head fills with questions. He tries reaching for one, the most obvious “but why nots,” but as he parts his lips, Magnus jerks in seat.

“Like, I know you’re really excited” he says, voice picking up volume and a distinct uncontrolled shakiness. Magnus smiles when he says it, too, though Toki can detect its inauthenticity the second Magnus tries offering it to him. “I was, too. But then she kept talking about the cleansing period, and the initial swings, and I don’t know, man.”

Magnus hands leave the wheel and start swinging, moving with frantic words and expressions that carve deep into Toki. He sees Magnus shake, go pale as he fights to defend a decision Toki cannot comprehend. The fake smile leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

“I know it’s been a while, and I know I see it all through black and white, but I don’t want to say or do anything like I remember,” Magnus says through the silent strain. Toki blinks, witnessing past acts of blind or misdirected rage. He sees Magnus hiding under the covers for days, only leaving to use the restroom or rehydrate. He watches Magnus right now, shaking his head at himself, disbelieving his own strength. “I don’t want to snap at people. I don’t want to feel like I’m choking on my own thoughts.”

There’s anger sitting at the edge of every word. Toki hears it lingering, feels its weight settle around him, but never aimed directly at him.

Magnus coughs false laughter. “Am I overreacting? You think I’m overreacting, don’t you?” He points a finger at himself. “I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I’m being stupid, making this more than what it has to be…”

He falls into his seat, hands dragging across his face. Fingers get caught in his hair, curl and writhe and purposely get tangled. Toki stops it with a hand resting on top of Magnus' leg. The simple gesture is enough for Magnus to fix himself up, though avoids looking in Toki’s direction until he’s able to tolerate his own reflection in the rearview.

“I’m over-fucking-thinking it, again.” He sighs. Toki squeezes Magnus’ thigh, calling for his attention. It takes a few seconds for Magnus to relax, for shoulder ease into place and frown shift into a defeated grin, before he finally secedes. He stares solemnly at Toki. “I need to stop doing that. I really should’ve just asked you from the start, huh?”

The hand shifts from the thigh to Magnus’ hand.

Toki peers close. “Do you wants me to gives you advice or does you just wants me to listen?”

There’s a pin that burrows into his chest when he utters it, because he knows it’s far from what he wants to tell Magnus. But it’s what the man needs to hear, and once it's out there, Toki sees Magnus’ chest heave, and eyes go dark before being covered with his sleeve.

“…I don’t want to be angry all the time,” Magnus confesses. The answer doesn’t immediately surprise Toki, but the fear riddled in Magnus’ eyes, the dread in his voice keeps Toki alert and listening. “I don’t want to feel like I need to look over my shoulder. I don’t want to hurt you. I know you think I won’t, but I can’t shake this feeling I’ll do something awful if I don’t keep myself in check. I know you trust me, but I don’t know if I’m quite there yet, with you. You trust me, but… I’ve done it to you on meds, and now she wants me off of them? What if say something I can’t take back?”

The pin pushes further inward. It hurts because all Toki can hear is how much Magnus thinks about him, how considerate he’s trying to be. It’s so sweet. How nice of him, but he was being so mean to himself in the process. That also hurt, because Toki knows Magnus is better than he thinks. He’s stronger than he gives himself credit for. And it hurts the most because it means the day hasn’t yet arrived, and Toki is going to have to wait a little longer for it to come.

“Okays.”

“What?”

Toki pulls in his lips, fighting past a sigh as he fishes for the right words. They come sooner than predicted, and with them, a gentle warmth. Acceptance. “If you don’t think you ams ready, then you ams not ready. I trusts you. And when you ams, we can celebrates then, okays?”

There’s a smile near the end, and when it forms, the pain lessens. Toki feels it spread across his face, and with it the sense that he still needs to reel Magnus back to him.

He goes for the shoulder. “You okays?”

A despondent frown. “You’re not upset?”

There’s no point in lying to Magnus, not after being so blatantly disappointed after hearing the news. He can handle the truth, Toki thinks, and the more he dwells on it, the more Toki realizes it’s better they both hear.

“I knows I was exciteds about you drinkins and havins fun with me, but we does that anyways,” Toki starts cautiously, and watches as Magnus gives a short, but confirming nod. He tucks his hands between his legs. “And you said you don’t trusts yourskelves, so…Toki will just have to works on that. Helps out my bestest friend believes in himself more.”

He looks up hopefully at Magnus. Toki unbuckles his seatbelt, leaves his seat and takes Magnus into an embrace.

“This ams your therapy,” he says, and feels Magnus’ arms fold around him. “You gets to decides when you ams ready, not me.”

Magnus shuts his eyes. A sharp intake of breath. “Thank you.”

The words hit just right, because once Toki hears it, the pain starts to vanish. They remain that way for some time, with Magnus selfishly pulling Toki as close as their limited space will allow, and Toki listening in on the occasional sniff, the skip of a rapid heartbeat desperately working to convince itself this wasn’t a failure, but something else.

Eventually, the discomfort of his potion forces Toki to part with Magnus sooner than preferred. He catches a relieved sigh once he does, but notices Magnus wiping his face once he does return to his seat. The man hasn’t quite recovered yet.

Toki spots the keys resting between Magnus�� legs. He swallows.

“Wants me to drive?”

Eyes still closed, Magnus stubbornly shakes his head. “You hate driving.”

Toki openly challenges the remark with a slight drop of his voice. “Do you wants me to drive us homes?”

The steering wheel groans, and Magnus’s head sinks against the growing silence.

Eyes open, and tears fall. “Yeah…”

Smiling, Toki reaches for the keys.

#wxcked-fc #thank you #fic ask thing #magtok #hammertooth

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starlocked01 · 4 years ago

Text

These Words are Knives

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: Virgil doesn't like being a secret boyfriend. He honestly just wants his soulmate to be able to be himself at home and at work. But has Janus ever been himself with anyone? Remus probably. But Virgil and Remus don't know about each other and that's about to become everyone's problem

Content Warning: Unsympathetic Janus, Swearing, Fighting, Capslock, Emotional Abuse and Manipulation

Day 28 Anxceitmus- A sentence appears on your arm each night recapping something your soulmate said that day. Modified so that it only shows up after you've met them in person.

"If you love me, let me go If you love me, let me go These words are knives that often leave scars The fear, the fear of falling apart Truth be told I never was yours The fear, the fear of falling apart" -This is Gospel Panic! at the Disco

"Oh yes, my girlfriend and I enjoy true crime shows pretty often."

Virgil sighed, staring at the golden letters glowing on his skin. It stung a lot to see his soulmate lie like this every night.

He turned over in bed to face Janus, "I hate your boss."

"Mmhmm, me too," Janus replied flatly, not taking his eyes off the newspaper.

"I shouldn't have to see this. You shouldn't have to keep me hidden from your coworkers," Virgil felt anger knotting at the bottom of his stomach. It truly wasn't fair.

"If he finds out I'm gay, he will fire me. I'm not having this discussion right now," Janus declared with a tone of finality.

"I'm not asking you to out yourself, I'm just upset about the situation," Virgil twisted onto his back and stared at the ceiling, "what does yours say?"

Janus gave an exasperated sigh and made a show of rolling up his sleeve before reading the shiny purple text, "'Oh my god, that would definitely have killed me!' Honestly, Virgil, it was a mouse. Bit of an overreaction."

"Whatever, good night."

"Virgil?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"Love you too."

Well, it wasn't a lie, Virgil is far too trusting of him for him to not mean it when he says he loves him.

Janus could remember back when they'd first met, Virgil wouldn't even give him his phone number. It had been a tedious process getting the anxious man to open up, and it was more than worth it to Janus. The problems only started when he'd met her.

Remus had been completely unexpected; Janus had literally run into her on his way to work. He panicked that first night the neon green script appeared on his arm opposite the purple text. Remus was also his soulmate and unlike Virgil, she was eager to know Janus.

Janus had made his decision to keep his second soulmate a secret the moment he saw the text, and now he sat like a spider atop his web of lies.

Janus glanced over at Virgil as he lay there, clearly not asleep yet, and started humming a lullaby that usually helped Virgil relax. The tension in his shoulders started to ease and soon he was snoring. Janus folded up the newspaper and took the disposable phone out of his nightstand.

R<3: heyyyy sexy i wanna c u tomrw ;]

He smiled and responded, keeping an eye on Virgil to make sure he was still asleep.

J: I agree, at our usual place?

R<3: !!!!!!

He quickly shut off the phone and hid it again before turning off the bedside lamp and rolling over to fall asleep. ---- Truth be told, it was simply easier to talk about Remus at work because they went by multiple pronouns. It also helped that they didn't immediately get suspicious anytime Janus brought them up. Virgil’s concern could be overbearing and it was just easier to stay under the radar of homophobic coworkers who would no longer respect him if they found out.

He didn't feel good about lying; it was survival. But he was good at it.

"Jan!" Remus waved him over as soon as he arrived at the restaurant. He smiled and joined them at their table, "it's been too long, why are you avoiding me?" Remus asked with a grin.

"I'm not, I just don't want to interrupt your work," Janus smirked, taking a sip of his water.

"What? You don't think I could handle you trying to distract me?" Remus laughed happily, leaning over to kiss their soulmate’s cheek.

They laughed and joked all through dinner, gossiping about coworkers, generally having a good time. The time got away from Janus and it was midnight before he realized how late it had gotten.

"Oh! I want to see what your soul mark says today!" Remus beamed, excitedly rolling up their own sleeve.

"You do tend to have quite… entertaining quotes," Janus' smile hid his irritation but he obliged, rolling up his sleeve as well, "'Why don't we eat the babies and call it Swifting?' Really, Remus? Do I want context?"

"You remember 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift, right?" he giggled, reading his own quote of the day, "'Honestly, Virgil, it was a mouse.' Huh…" Remus looked confused, "who's Virgil? You don't talk about him but I see his name come up pretty often."

"A coworker. He's not very pleasant to talk with but we often have projects together," the lie was smooth as silk. He knew this one would happen someday and had prepared.

Remus glanced over and saw a streak of purple along Janus’ wrist of his other arm, "what's that?" they grabbed Janus' wrist and pushed the sleeve up before he could protest. They read the words out loud, "'sup, fellow cryptids? I'm your host, Virgil Keir and it's time to talk about why you absolutely should run to the woods to date the Fae.' Wait…" Remus looked up knowingly, "Virgil is your soulmate, not your coworker."

"He can be both. Like I said, he's not easy to get along with-" Janus was sweating under his collar.

"I want to meet him!" Remus exclaimed.

"Why?' Janus was genuinely puzzled by their reaction.

"Hello! I love his youtube channel and you're my easy in! Plus he's your soulmate so he's gotta be important to you, which makes him all the more important to me," Remus grinned happily, "I swear I'm not jealous that you have two soulmates."

Janus let the comment slide past him, "I'll talk with him, but he's rather private. He may not want to meet you. I mean, he hasn't asked about you at all."

"Alright alright. Thanks, Jan!" Remus kissed him again, "wanna stay the night?" they asked with a wink.

"Not tonight, we both have work tomorrow and it's late enough already," Janus gave them a silvery smile while standing to pay the bill.

"Aw man, I can't wait to tell Stormy about this!" Remus pulled out their phone and was already texting with fire in their eyes.

"Who’s Stormy?" Janus asked hesitantly.

"Tumblr mutual. He's like the biggest fan of 'Mothman Mondays'. He'll be so stoked!"

"Ah- well have fun with that. Goodnight, darling," Janus left quickly. This needed to be contained. ---- Virgil stared at his phone in disbelief.

thotiestthoughts: stormy ull nvr guess!!

thotiestthoughts: my soulmate knows Virgil K!!!

Thoti was probably Virgil’s favorite fan, they messaged on tumblr all the time and had become quite good friends, but it was through his anonymous account not the official blog for his show. He debated how he would respond before typing back.

stormcloud07734: wow what a coincidence. r u secretly him? ;)

The best defense is a strong offense, right?

thotiestthoughts: !!!! im so excite!!!!!!

stormcloud07734: that means u must live pretty close to him

thotiestthoughts: u think hes in Orlando???

Virgil smiled. He knew he was in Orlando. But he had a better idea.

stormcloud07734: don't know about Virgil but im in Orlando. wanna meet up?

His heart was pounding. If this were anyone else but thoti he'd never consider it.

thotiestthoughts: OMG WHEN? RN?

stormcloud07734: how about tomorrow?

Virgil smiled at thoti's enthusiasm. They both picked a local cafe to meet in the afternoon and signed off for the night. Virgil didn’t even wait for Janus to get home before falling asleep. ---- Virgil got to the cafe an hour early. He could barely feel his own breathing as his heart felt like it filled his whole chest and stomach. What if he was wrong and thoti turned out to be a creep or stalker? What if he was never heard from again? He hadn't even said goodbye to Janus that morning. He tried to scroll tumblr to calm down, tried to research for his next episode, anything to distract himself from the anticipation and anxiety.

Remus couldn't wait to meet stormy and was practically bouncing around the back seat of xyr Uber. He'd given xem his phone number since they'd never shared photos and xe was trying desperately to not call before xe got to the cafe.

About a block away xyr phone started ringing. It was stormy.

"Hello?" Xe answered breathlessly.

An all too familiar voice answered xem, "hey, thoti, I know you're not here just yet but I have a bit of a confession to make."

"Virgil…" Remus was practically shoved out of the car by the driver as xe was paralyzed in shock. Xe looked up and saw the familiar pale face, purple hair with swooping bangs and dark eyeshadow smiling at him from a table in the corner, phone held to his face.

"Yup, sorry," Virgil hung up as Remus walked over, mouth agape.

"All this time?" xe asked, not ready to sit at the table with one of xyr favorite minor celebrities.

"Yeah, I kinda like participating in cryptid culture without being hounded about my videos," Virgil shrugged with a grin, "come on, sit down. I'm a lot more like stormcloud than I am like my videos."

"I'm Remus," xe stuck out xyr hand.

"Virgil," he snickered and pinched Remus' fingers with three of his own and gave a curt little shake. Xe laughed and sat down across the table, fidgeting with xyr hoodie strings. Virgil gave xem a long look over, "so your soulmate knows me?"

"Oh yeah, I kinda found out last night and asked him to ask you to meet me so if he brings that up, sorry. I just got really excited about it," Remus blushed in embarrassment, "hopefully Janus will be cool about it."

Virgil stopped mid-sip of a mocha latte, "Janus?"

"Yeah, our soulmate."

"You're his soulmate too? I don't believe you," Virgil shook his head.

"I saw both lines of writing on his arms last night, I'm sure of it!" Remus' grin began to falter, "but whatever, right? We're not here to talk about soulmates. I've been so excited to meet you."

"Hang on, how long?" Virgil demanded.

"How long what? My d-"

"How long have you been soulmates?" Virgil smacked the table.

"About 5 months," Remus looked down at the table. This was going terribly.

"Janus has been my soulmate for 2 years and he never brought up a second soulmate. I can't-" Virgil looked like something inside him was dying, "why wouldn't he mention you?"

"He- oh my god he doesn't want me around… and you probably hate me just for existing…" Remus looked up as Virgil laid a hand gently on xyrs.

"No. I don't hate you. We're going to get to the bottom of this." ---- Virgil sat in bed next to Janus who was preoccupied with a book. He didn't know how to bring up Remus and every moment he felt sicker and sicker in his stomach. The frequent fights, the talk at work about a girlfriend, the distance between them, when he thought about it he realized it had only really started 5 months ago.

Janus reached out to take his hand and Virgil instinctively pulled away.

"What's wrong, Virgil?" Janus asked sweetly.

"Don't touch me," he muttered just as the clock struck midnight. He glanced at the yellow text without bothering to read it, "I bet this one is a lie too."

"Virgil, what do you mean? You're acting suspicious," Janus’ mind was reeling. He'd forgotten what Virgil had said he was going to do that day and didn't expect him to be so hostile. He glanced down at the purple text on his arm and asked, "who's 'thoti', Virgil?"

Virgil started to reply when he saw a flash of green on his own arm. He looked and was surprised to find a second soul mark in a dark green scrawl. His phone was ringing and he didn't even need caller ID to know who it was, "are you seeing this too, Rem?" Virgil's eyes flicked over to Janus and narrowed, "a second soulmate, who could have guessed?" Janus kept his face impressively passive at the news and subtle accusation, "okay, see you soon."

Virgil hung up and glared at Janus who simply repeated, "who's 'thoti', Virgil?"

"You insufferable bastard! You know exactly who xe is, your 'girlfriend' our soulmate," Virgil scowled, ready to tear out a throat and leave the body for the wolves. He saw that Remus had texted him that xe was 10 minutes away. Janus had nowhere to run now.

"Her name is Remus. Why would I assume she was your soulmate or that you would give her such a disrespectful nickname?" Janus tried to steer the conversation in his favor.

"You're going to accuse me of disrespect? For the last five months, you have done nothing but lie to us and you're saying I'm the disrespectful one? You can't deflect your way out of this one, babe," Virgil felt his eye twitch. Remus better get there fast if he wanted both soulmates intact.

Virgil was screaming and beating Janus with a pillow when the doorbell rang.

"What the fuck? Is this a confrontation or a sleepover?" Remus burst in the door, finding it unlocked. He ran over and pulled Virgil off of Janus, getting a face full of feathers in the process.

"Oh just casual domestic abuse," Janus picked himself off the floor as Virgil struggled to get out of Remus' grasp.

"I'm going to make him pay, one way or another!" Virgil snarled.

"I don't know, Virgil, I think we can work this out," he blurted out.

Virgil stared at Remus dumbfounded, "you think what? Work this out? He's lied to you the whole time you've known him!"

"So did you," Remus looked down as if ashamed to say it out loud, "I thought you were stormcloud. I gushed about Virgil to you for hours and you never thought to tell me who you really were. I bet you even got content ideas from me and never had to credit them. So how is that different, if not worse, than Janus being scared of you doing exactly what you're doing right now?"

"You really think having an anonymous tumblr is worse than being manipulated for years? Is that what I'm hearing, Remus?"

"I think you're overreacting. I want to try and fix this relationship because we're soulmates and we should be able to make it work," Remus sighed, turning away from Virgil, "I'm not cutting anyone off."

"It's alright, Virgil. I forgive you. Let's figure this out together-"

"NO!" something snapped. Virgil squared up, facing the other two, "get out."

"Virgil," Janus took a step towards him.

"I said, Get Out."

"Oh, did you forget? The lease is in my name. I'm not leaving my fucking apartment. If you don't want to work with us then you can work on getting your own place to live," Janus’ look turned smug and cold as ice.

"Janus, don't kick him out," Remus looked as though he were about to spiral into a panic attack. If he'd just kept his mouth shut for once maybe-

"No, he's right. He holds shelter and food over my head to keep me in line so he can keep a secret fuck boy on the side and expects me to 'work it out' like I'm too scared to fend for myself. Fuck you," Virgil started to laugh with tears streaming down his cheeks. He turned and grabbed his backpack, walking to their room to grab as much of his stuff as he could. Remus followed him, holding Janus back from saying anything more.

"Virgil, please. I don't want to lose you," Remus pleaded softly.

"I thought you were pissed at me for being a liar on the internet," Virgil muttered.

"Maybe, but if I'm willing to forgive Janus don't you think I can forgive you too?" Remus held up his arm to block the door.

Virgil stopped with a heavy exhausted sigh, "I don't want your forgiveness. Remus, if you love me, let me go."

Virgil watched as a tear slipped down Remus' face and he lowered his arm. The rage that fueled him broke and he grabbed Remus in a hug. The other stiffened, uncertain, before relaxing and hugging Virgil back.

"I didn't want to leave you; I just can't stay with him," Virgil fought to keep his voice from trembling as much as his shoulders were shaking.

"I'll see if my landlord can add you on my lease… that way you don't have to leave?" Remus offered hopefully.

"That sounds like a thousand more nights spent screaming. Not a good idea," Virgil broke away from the hug, "thank you, Remus."

"You… you know how to find me if you need me," Remus laughed sullenly.

"Thanks. I'm sorry."

Remus only nodded as Virgil made for the front door.

"If you leave right now, you'll never see him again," Janus spoke from his place on the couch, wine glass in hand, and already half-empty in the short time Virgil spent packing.

"I know. Anything to keep me from fighting you, right? Just watch me find a way to be happy, asshole," Virgil spat before walking out without a second glance back. ---- "Virgil?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"No, you don't!" Virgil hissed, pushing himself away as hard as he could.

"Virgil, I know I'm not your soulmate but I am confident about my feelings for you," Logan looked confused and hurt but all Virgil could see was a cold, sly smile he'd tried so hard to forget. Reality started to blur and Virgil began to hyperventilate while the smirk leered closer, "Virgil, it's me, Logan. In for four."

Virgil focused on the calming voice and followed its instructions. After a few minutes, he could see Logan’s living room, feel the blanket tangled around their feet, the soft touch of his best friend pulling him back from the edge.

"Logan, I- I'm-"

"Don't apologize. There's nothing to apologize for," Logan held him close, resting his chin in Virgil’s hair, "you were clearly triggered. I did not mean to hurt you and your lashing out wasn't directed at me."

"But I know you aren't him, it's not fair for me to treat you that way," Virgil shuddered, pushing in to be as close to Logan as possible.

"Perhaps not, but I'm choosing to forgive it because I know this isn't easy for you," Logan smiled rubbing small circles on his back, "I will learn one thousand different ways to show you my appreciation and care if those three little words are ineffective and harmful to you."

"I don't deserve you," Virgil's voice was muffled as he buried his face in Logan’s chest to hide the tears threatening to spill over.

"No, you deserve so much more than I can give you, and you didn't deserve what happened in the past," Logan kissed the top of his head sweetly.

Virgil choked back a sob, "don't your soulmates hate me?"

Logan sighed, "no. They are happy together and I am happy for them. It has been a while since I've talked to either Patton or Roman, but I think they're okay with me finding you. Not every breakup is toxic, nor are all soulbonds romantic."

They stayed curled together like that on the couch for quite a while, the movie they'd been watching left forgotten on pause.

"Are you happy, Logan?" Virgil whispered, breaking the easy silence.

"With you, yes."

"Promise?"

"I promise I won't lie to you. I am happy with you, Stormcloud," Logan squeezed him tighter, trying to impart every ounce of his love with the application of force. He never wanted to be the one hurting Virgil, and if he ever met Janus or Remus, there was a baseball bat with their names on it in the corner.

Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @idontgiveafuckaboutshit @tsshipmonth2020

#tsshipmonth2020 #Soulmate September 2020 #toxic anxceitmus #toxic anxceit #unsympathetic janus #platonic analogical #angst #hurt comfort #emotional manipulation #emotional abuse #swearing #fighting #this hurt so much to write

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makemeabeliever · 4 years ago

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He moves slowly, deliberately, giving him time to move away. When he doesn’t, he gingerly sweeps a few of the droplets away with the pad of his thumb before pressing his mouth to Johnny’s jaw, catching the tears that seem to deteriorate and melt away at the warm embrace of his lips.

Daniel and Johnny talk it out. aka, the Daniel Apologizes fic that everybody wants, including an emotionally fucked up Johnny Lawrence. Really proud of this one! Very dialogue heavy,

#cobra kai #lawrusso #johnny lawrence #fanfic

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kuroopaisen · 4 years ago

Text

@kacchand (i couldn't tag your main but i wanted to make sure you saw this fdlkjfdlkj)

hello dear! i’m sorry it took me so long to respond to this dflskjfdlkfdj i decided to answer your ask in a text post so i can link my thoughts to yours more easily! also, i know i'm going to Ramble, so i wanted to be able to keep it under a cut sdlkfjd

Hi rowan!! I've just finished the final chapter of aot and I just wanted to ask your opinion on it!

(SPOILERS THAT DEPICT MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE STORY'S MEANING AHEAD. READ ONLY IF YOU'VE FINISHED THE CHAPTER)

(FR )

(THERE'S STILL TIME TO BACK OUT)

(DO IT NOW. SPOILER ALERT)

I'd also like to ask a follow up question about it, because it seems that I've come to a different concl. from many of my friends and I'm feeling dumb abt how i feel w it.

first of all (and i say this as sincerely as possible, and if i'm coming off as condesending please let me know hh), please don't feel dumb because you've come to a different conclusion :(

we all read media at different levels (i’ve been told it’s ‘not that deep’ before fdljkfsdlkj) and identify different aspects in it, so the fact that you've had a different experience to some of your friends is absolutely not a reflection on your intelligence. and if anyone's making you feel that way, drop their @. i just want to talk :) furthermore, you’re not wrong for responding to something emotionally, especially if it really... makes you uncomfortable, you know?

i'm from the PH & I've put off determining whether i'm comfy w the manga til the last chap,,,, but is it wrong that I can't shake the feeling that it's a justification of japanese expansionism and genocide? ik this manga has always been in the grey area, and that's what I love abt it! It often shows that no choice they make is absolutely good or bad, and does such a good job at showing you how each complex character came to that understanding (role of environment, etc...) but this last chapter felt too positive abt the rumbling? Like it was justified because paradis was able to advance and there wasn't much choice? idk.

that's totally valid! some of the best think pieces on the show i read mentioned that the concern with the narrative is less "is isayama a nazi sympathiser?" (he most likely isn't), but if he's a imperial japan apologist. and...

well, let's just say that my father is british, and when i was trying to say that colonisation was bad, using british india as an example, he said "well, we gave them railroads." it's... it's uncomfortable and gross and i think it encapsulates how countries with imperial pasts tend to talk about them; even if they don't officially endorse it, there's often a lot of talk about how "well colonialism was good for this country, actually--"

and if the manga felt like it was justifying japanese expansionism, then chances are it had elements that very much did point towards that. i've had a lot of trouble grappling with reiner, annie and bertolt, because they've existed in this grey area of 'victim of oppression' and 'war criminal'; and their existence raises the question of "do people who commit war crimes simply do what needs to be done?" and by victimising them it... it plays into the whole nuremberg defense of "i was just following orders". it's making you feel bad for the people committing said war crimes (and similarly with eren, and all the awful things he's done). but i'll get more into this point later dsfkjfd

i haven't read the last chapter yet (and don't worry about spoilers! i've been approaching aot from a very... specific perspective anyway, so i actually don't mind spoilers -- i read a bunch of analyses of the series before i'd even watched it hh), but... i think if it came off as too positive about, you know... an awful thing that happened, then it absolutely makes sense that you'd feel uncomfortable?

the modernisation narrative in general is one that always skeeves me out. it's one japanese imperialists use to justify the invasion of korea (and even those infamous tweets from the one account purported to be isayama talk about how the population of korea boomed under japanese imperial occupation, which... stop.)

it's also commonly invoked in cases of development. certain members of society (usually the poor), just 'had' to die for the good of the future. who gives a damn if they consent to that? they have to.

similarly, the 'we had no choice' narrative. that's... a concerning one that crops up time and again with history apologists, the argument that "oh if x country hadn't done y, then someone else would've!" or that acts of aggression were done as pre-emptive self-defence, which is so... ugh. i just. i just hate it.

It also feels really weird w the ymir and the whole loving fritz thing. i wish we got to see more of her thought process and what conclusion she came to that led her to destroying the power of the titans.

i... hate this so much. i get that abuse is complicated and victims often have multifaceted feelings towards their abusers, but... most people would focus on that in their story? the story would be about that? but instead, it's just... a thing in the history of the world and that's... icky.

also having the genesis of the titans come from a slave girl in love with her captor... there's many levels of ick to it and i highly doubt it was handled with the appropriate level of grace and sensitivity.

honestly, this might be one of the things that pissed me off the most because of how... contradictory her backstory was with That One Chapter (you know, instead of ymir crying because she wants to be free or because she’s been trapped she........ wants to see mikasa kiss eren’s decapitated head? i guess? what the fuck?)

idk...I just think that context is sometimes everything. and i understand that media can portray incorrect things,,,, and that isayama likely didn't intend for it to become a global sensation, but i guess i'm just uncomfortable w the right wing nazis getting a comfort book ahaha.

i totally get that! even if attack on titan is meant to be anti-fascists, the fact of the matter is... a lot of fascists love it. and relate to it. which is... alarming. especially given just how popular aot is worldwide.

it’s hard because before the ending, attack on titan did feel like it was more grey; i remember saying that i wouldn’t know how to feel about it until the ending because the story was either saying “the military is corrupt and war is hell”, or it was saying “the military is corrupt and war is hell, but it is necessary.”

still sorting out my thoughts, but yeah. I think i'm having a hard time understanding what they really accomplished with the rumbling and how they gave eren a sudden lelouch role and a lot of how they made it out to be a happy thing? perhaps I'm too biased to see it fully but to me it gives a "woah. eren was a hero. he saved us from destruction. those people needed to die for us to achieve this temporary peace and new start". i suppose the rumbling gave them a levelled playing ground?

OH MY GOOOOOD okay. i haven't finished code geass. but i really don't like lelouch. i mean... i think i just don't like characters that sacrifice other people for a purported 'greater good' (i could write an Essay about how much i hate erwin smith looking at him is enough to send me into an unhinged rage), but where i'm up to in the anime, i don't like the direction they're going with eren? i mean, i've never liked eren, but... that whole "martyr for the eldians" is just. ew. especially when you see several eldian characters disagree and resist him.

why does this one guy get to make choices for everyone else? because he’s sPeCiAL? fuck off

sorry for not being coherent. maybe i'm basing this too much on feelings ahaha. trust aot to finish it's scandalous run with a scandalous end.

no omg you're being perfectly coherent :( also, if anyone's making you feel bad or stupid for how you experience media, they’re... definitely not as smart as they think they are fdslskjfdlk.

i'm of that mind that, while media consumption is in part an intellectual exercise, it is inherently very emotional; narrative media tries to make us feel as much as it makes us think. that’s what stories are for, you know? intellectual analysis is well and good but what’s the point of a story if it doesn’t make you feel anything?

that's to say, i don't believe there's such thing as basing your opinion too much on feelings :') especially since it's your personal experience with a piece of media; you don't owe anyone 'objectivity' (which is always a farce when it comes to this sort of thing) or 'logical analysis', because nobody's got any right to criticise you for engaging with media the 'wrong way'.

tl;dr I feel like the mood was too celebratory abt the rumbling, and didn't entail enough on the tragedy so much that it felt like a justification for genocide and expansionism. how do you feel abt it's ending and the message it leaves? is isayama responsible to give a morally correct answer to the cycle of hatred? you're not obligated to answer! and sorry for the rambling.

hhh yeah i guess that’s the thing at the end of the day... is isayama responsible for giving a “morally correct” answer? no, but the way the ending plays out is very telling.

like armin thanking eren? mikasa’s e n t i r e character boiling down to being in love with a mass murderer no matter how poorly he’s treated her? and one could argue that kind of ending is supposed to be unsettling, supposed to hint that the cycle will just continue, but...

framing is everything. and it’s framed like a Good, Emotional Thing, Aren’t We So Grateful Eren Did All Those Awful Things

YI think I would've been fine if we got to see more of Eren's or Yif you have a different perspective on how eren is being portrayed please do share! I just felt really yucky watching armin say "thanks for murdering all those people for us" with love,,, I suppose he was trying to make eren feel better. ach maybe I'm just overreacting. idk. im dumb ahaha . i'll send this in anyway cuz I'd love to hear your take!

HHHHHHH i just hate eren and i never got him. i felt bad for him in the beginning, but he's always been too... violent for me. there was a very short period of time in season 2 where i felt bad for him, but otherwise it’s just been... ugh. the main three have always been the weakest part of the series imo, so it’s really not surprising they’re part of the reason the ending was so. bad.

and... well, that one infamous quote pretty much sums up my issue with armin. he's supposed to be the 'intelligent' one, but he's hopelessly devoted to a homicidal maniac with whom he has a very artificial, unbelievable bond with.

at the end of the day, the "thank you for becoming our monster" thing just makes it seem like attack on titan's core message is "war is horrible, but it is necessary." it feels like it's justifying massacre. and while fiction is fiction, and sometimes it's as simple as that, i think something as politically loaded as attack on titan needs to be looked at with a critical lens when discussing what it’s trying to say or what it means.

do i think it makes someone a Bad Person for liking aot or being attached to it in some way? no, because that’s dumb, and what media someone likes =/= their Moral Goodness TM. ofc trends are a thing and certain pieces of media appeal to certain types of people, but it’s a false equivalency that misses the point.

but by that same breath, nobody is wrong or stupid or has Less Valid Opinions just because what they took away from it makes them uncomfortable.

i’m sorry this is So Long i have so many thoughts about this dskljfslkj

but at the end of the day,

levi sexy

#kacchan 💕#rowan rambles #rowan watches attack on titan #attack on titan spoilers #attack on titan tw

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whinemcm · 5 years ago

Text

LITTLE CHARACTER THINGS

Just a fun little character game. Fill in the below categories with 3-5 things that your character can be identified by. Repost & tag away !

TAGGED BY: i stole this from @pristinette because this fucking SLAPS. so much. its so good. im not sorry about it. TAGGING: @walkrbait @peacefulapostle @herbounty @waterfrd @noblecide @quelled @fmly (for which ever muses!) and YOU. i stole this so can you. there are no rules here.

EMOTIONS / FEELINGS:

001. self-loathing; a deep hatred for the person you’ve become.

002. protectiveness; to keep those you love from feeling the pains of this world

003. anger; an underlying rage that won’t go away completely

004. sorrow; breaking down in tears at the drop of a hat

005. nostalgia, inability to let go of the past and finally move on.

GREETINGS:

001. a shitty pickup line

002. a drawn out, drunken hey; followed by a pet name.

003. a polite smile and handshake

004. butting in on conversations you weren’t apart of

005. a small nod from across the way

COLOURS:

001. hues of brown and beige

002. a rich black

003. deep wine red

SCENTS:

001. a sweet, aromatic wine scent

002. an expensive smelling perfume, never changed, floral in nature

003. occasional leather, whiskey, and cigarettes something normally associated with the neighbor

004. the salty smell of the ocean

CLOTHING:

001. a sensible sweater and skirt combination; modest everyday wear

002. high waisted jeans and a striped button up shirt; for playing at home with the kids

003. the little black dress: perfect for date night. hanging in the back of the closet, hasn’t been worn in years

004. silk robe over a pajamas: the outfit worn when you’re up worrying about how your husband still isn’t home by 2am.

OBJECTS:

001. a cross necklace, that weighs a little too heavy these days

002. an empty glass, waiting for the next drink to be poured

003. a wedding ring that has hardly been seen off your hand since it was first put on

VICES / BAD HABITS:

001. substance abuse. the only way you can think to cope nowadays. anything you can take to alter your mood. to keep you numb to the hardships of your life. to bring you up from a depression. going to the bar 3 times a week might seem excessive, but it’s what you think you need.

002. belittling others and defensive jokes. words hurt, and you know that much. still it makes you feel some sort of vindication watching him squirm uncomfortably. jeez, it was only just a joke in the first place. he was taking it too hard. that’s really all you have anyway, jokes to cover up the hole inside you.

003. hanging on to the past. through it all you still can’t let go. your mind constantly flickers back to the good times and the happy memories. the idea that it’s still possible to get back to how things used to be is a strong thought in your head.

004. constantly suspicious. despite the apologizes, you still won’t get over it. constantly sitting and listening. taking in every detail. hard to trust anything he says or does. second guessing each little thing he says. reading in to new friendships and overreacting to them.

005. holding others on a pedestal. those you like can do no bad. it’s easy to turn your head from each way they have wronged you and you forget every bad thing they ever did. the pedestal has cracks all throughout it. you pretend not to see them.

BODY LANGUAGE:

001. dismissive gestures; physically throwing aside comments you try not to think about.

002. crossed arms, closing yourself off to what you don’t want to hear, protecting you from the truth. sitting and stewing like a child in time out. a way to express disappointment

003. rolling eyes, expressive eyebrows; unable to hide your instant reactions of annoyance and disgust

004. proximity; often withdrawn and distant, yet at times unbearably close; infringing on others personal space.

AESTHETICS:

001. wine stained lips. the poison you drink trying to kill the thing inside you, you hate so much. the dark lighting of the bar makes it harder to see the bags under your eyes. the neon however, sparks an enthusiasm as you look through the crowd looking for your next victim. the helpless 22 year old has no idea what’s coming when he buys you another drink for the night.

002. mary mother of sorrows. the cross on the wall provides a sense of comfort and protection. hands press together in prayer as you turn to god for answers. tears streak down your cheeks. wallowing in depression. being all too familiar with the temptations of sin.

003. norman fucking rockwell. white picket fences. the perfect family at first glance. shouting behind closed doors as you try not to wake the kids. family portraits all along the walls of the house. going to church every sunday. crying yourself to sleep every night.

004. the ocean. waves crashing against a rocky shore line. freezing cold water that shocks the senses as soon as you step foot in it. the feeling of an oncoming storm. water so blue it reminds you of his eyes. faint sea shanties echoing in the distance. a much harsher version of the sea you once knew.

005. polaroids kept close. a youthful smile, free from the harsh truth of the world. a blue convertible driving down the highway, the beach boys playing at full volume. a drive in date where the movie was forgotten. your eldest child’s first steps. focusing on memories of the past. clinging on like they’re the last thing you have.

SONGS / PIECES:

001. american wife – rilo kiley

002. hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have – lana del rey.

003. mrs robinson – simon & garfunkle.

004. under the table – fiona apple.

005. no children – the mountian goats.

#character study.#now why i wrote this all in 2nd person i cannot tell u other than it just felt right...#its about the aesthetics......#but seriously this questionnaire slaps and i went VERY hard on it so.....#but please everyone do this #long post/#« ✞ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴍʀꜱ. ʀᴏʙɪɴꜱᴏɴ ✞ » « character study. »

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wroammin · 6 years ago

Text

Group Project Pt.4

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality

Word Count: 760

Warnings: cursing, deceit, lashing out

Recap: Logan and Patton are on bad terms after Logan apparently says some regrettable things, according to Roman. Virgil finds out about the fight then lashes out at Roman. Roman messages a sssamantha, who is most likely responsible for the mess.

Summary: Patton tells Virgil about the fight, and Virgil gets mad. Logan confesses a couple of things. Roman has a confrontation.

A/N: Wow, I have been kicking in with the angst in high gear, haven’t I? It is all for a reason! I promise! We’ll be back to witty banter in a chapter or so. Also, if this chapter makes absolutely no sense, that is my fault so feel free to call me out on that.

hot-topic joined Friendship Party!! :).

hot-topic: let me back on the group project chat patton

hot-topic: we’re besties rightttt

hot-topic: patton come onnnnnnnn

pattoncakes joined Friendship Party!! :).

pattoncakes changed chat name to Friendship Party!! :(.

hot-topic: whoa

hot-topic: you ok?

pattoncakes uploaded an image.

pattoncakes: I had a fight with logan and I don’t know what to do

hot-topic sent a censored message.

pattoncakes: language, virge!

hot-topic: since when did you turn on curse censoring??

hot-topic: ah wait

hot-topic: right im supposed to be comforting you over the fight

hot-topic: hey if logan said those things then f u c k him

pattoncakes: virgil! cursing!!

pattoncakes: but, i think i might’ve jumped to conclusions, don’t you think?

pattoncakes: i just ruined everything for all of us didn’t i

pattoncakes: now how will we get the project done if i can’t talk to logan?

pattoncakes: i should apologize, shouldn’t i?

hot-topic: hell no

hot-topic: the things he said about the cheer squad and bake sales are unforgivable

hot-topic: i thought he actually liked you, too

hot-topic: but he’s just a jerk

hot-topic: don’t listen to him

pattoncakes: thanks, virgil

hot-topic: can’t believe roman quoted him though

hot-topic: you want me to yell at those two??

pattoncakes: no that’s not necessary

pattoncakes: i’m sure that logan and roman did nothing wrong

pattoncakes: and i’m just overreacting

pattoncakes left Friendship Party!! :(.

hot-topic: you’re not overreacting

hot-topic: but maybe i’m about to

hot-topic left Friendship Party!! :(.

[]•[]•[]

sssamantha joined We need to talk.

sssamantha: Whatever do you mean?

egotisticalmaniac: i know you took patton’s phone you jackass

sssamantha: Well, that’s no way to speak to a lady.

egotisticalmaniac: he was literally with me the whole day, i know it was you

sssamantha: Your claim is unsubstantiated. Might want to watch your mouth there, Ro.

egotisticalmaniac: fuck. you. don’t call me ro

sssamantha: Wow, someone’s getting a bit defensive.

egotisticalmaniac: you hurt my friends. i think i have a right to be angry

sssamantha: Friends? Is that what virgil calls you, too, or is it a one-sided thing?

egotisticalmaniac: where’s patton’s phone? he didn’t get his back from mr. picani after class.

sssamantha: I wouldn’t know. I didn’t take them.

egotisticalmaniac: them? did you take both our phones during mr. picani’s class or just patton’s?

egotisticalmaniac: is that why my previous messages were all deleted

sssamantha left We need to talk.

egotisticalmaniac: what did you do??

egotisticalmaniac left We need to talk.

[]•[]•[]

logan.exe added pattoncakes to please.

logan.exe: patton i don’t know what to do.

logan.exe: i can’t see you because it’s the weekend so i can’t apologize in person.

logan.exe: i just want to say im sorry. please let me say im sorry.

logan.exe: ...

logan.exe: for the longest time, i’ve wanted to be friends with you.

logan.exe: you were always so happy, and nice to people. and it seemed like no one could ever make you unhappy.

logan.exe: and now i’m the guy who messed that all up.

logan.exe: well, i suppose “guy” is not the appropriate word choice.

logan.exe: i’m the asshole who messed that all up.

logan.exe: and i just wanted to apologize, because, to be honest, you inspired me, patton.

logan.exe: for as long as i’ve known you, you’ve been kind and compassionate. you’ve been sweet and nice to every single person. you saw the humanity and goodness in people that i would have dismissed and belittled. you’re everything i’m not and everything i wish i could be.

logan.exe: and that’s why i started liking you, i guess.

pattoncakes joined please.

pattoncakes: Hiya, lo! Someone stole my phone and deleted all my messages before this one! :((((

pattoncakes: But i’m here now, so is there anything i missed that was important??

logan.exe: No. I believe they told me not to show up to help you, so I apologize for that.

pattoncakes: No need to apologize for that, silly!! I had my friends from cheer squad helping me out, too!!

logan.exe: Of course. Glad you found your phone. Any clue as to who took it?

pattoncakes: Nope! Roman just showed up at my door and gave it to me! He did seem pretty upset though, so maybe you should talk to him? You guys are friends, right??

logan.exe: Not exactly. Maybe you should talk to him instead. You are better at comforting people than me.

pattoncakes: Aww, you are just too sweet!! But sure, I’ll talk to him! See ya monday, lo!!

logan.exe: Yes. See you on monday.

pattoncakes left please.

logan.exe left please.

First | Prev. | Next

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #roman sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #prinxiety #thatsthat24 #logicality #ts roman #ts logan #ts patton #ts virgil #em has a pen #group project pt.4 #group project

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huangfilms · 6 years ago

Text

Prince!Chenle

summary: you’re a member of the royal family and I didn’t know and you ran into me in the village and I completely told you off oh my god || prince!au

(A/N) o-oh my god i’m back from the dead with some prince chenle hope u enjoy (im a lil rusty so leave me some feedback Please! also,,, its not proofread haha aslkdjfhals Please Spare Me)

okay so you live in the village

your mom told you prior that you need to just walk over to your grandma’s house and drop sumn off

and to get to her house, you have to cut into the uhhh

the place where all the store stands are

u know like the market place ish

and so your holding a lot of stuff in your arms and you just walk with your eyes on the floor, watching where you step

and you lift your head up at times so you can see if you’re ever going to bump into someone

guess what

you rlly done goofed cause you Look Up and right as you do theres this body that collides with yours

and you drop

e v e r y t h i n g

then you just stop and you get rlly pissed off

you look up rly dramatically and slowly and you meet a pair of eyes that actually look a lil scared

(ugh poor bby chenle im rlly srry)

‘are you serious??? were you just not paying attention??? do you seriously have no coordination on where you’re going??????’

and then you let out a huff and start to pick up your things and place them back in your basket

while you do that you’re just muttering to yourself, ‘GOSH my mom is literally going to whoop me if she finds out i dropped gma’s stuff’

and then you see the guy kneel in front of you and start to help

‘um...... i can do this by myself, you can go ahead and bump into someone else now’

and he just looks at you with this expression you cant read

then he slowly gets up

‘prince chenle, we need you back at the kingdom right away, your mother is asking for you.’

and then you freeze up

p-prince ????? w-what ????????

two plus tw o equals pie ??????

then you start to panic and you hurriedly place the rest of your stuff in the basket and Run

you just Run To Your gma’s house

but you hear a soft ‘wait!’ when you run but you just Cannot

you’re SOOOOO embarrassed and when you arrive at your gma’s house your face is RED

and your ears are all flushed and your gma asks whats wrong

‘i just told off the prince because he bumped into me-’

in your defense he rlly didn’t look like a prince (wdym chenle ALWAYS looks like a prince smh)

he was wearing .... regular clothes so he Did Not Look Like A Prince

like,,,,,, yeah i dont know LOL

but then all your grandma does is LAUGH AT YOU

whats so funny??? blease omg hes gonna Have My Head omgomgomgsdhkjah

so your grandma just looks at you like you’re overreacting and says, “chenle is a nice boy!! he comes and visits me all the time sweetie.”

and then you freeze up because-

w hat ???? let me ??? move my ??? bang real quick ???

“grandma you what”

“chenle visits me all the time??? very nice boy, you’d like him !!”

and all she does is feed you then kick you outta the house to go home before it gets too dark

when you walk back your just rlly thinking ‘.... that happened huh ...’

AND THEN !!! you hear a lil yell of ‘hey!!’

and when you schnapp your head up you see the prince waving up at you with this Look on his face ???

so you just give him a weird glance and walk slowly towards him

“listen, about earlier i am so sor-”

“it’s fine !! hope you aren’t beating urself over it too much !! have a great evening ...?”

then u tell him ur name yadda yadda then he leaves and then ur like !!! haha what just happened !!!

so you go home and just sleep on it cause you kind of just dont want to think about it HAHA

so the next morning when you wake up your mom says to go to your gma’s again

just cause your gma wants to see you .. which is kind of odd

you only see your grandma during special occasions and when you drop things off

only because school/work has been taking a lot of your time

but just for your gma,,,,, you’ll visit her and forget the responsibilities for now

you walk there with confusion on your face because,,, although your grandma loves you, she doesn’t just spring on you and ask you to come over

so youre just curious about why she wants to see you (there isnt anything wrong with it !!! its just a lil odd)

when you arrive to her cottage you see this car outside and immediately become anxious

youre just treading slowly to the door, and then you raise your hand to knock,,, but youre hesitating A LOT

so time goes by (max. of like .. 5 minutes) and the door swings open to reveal your grandma

she puts you into a bone crushing hug, and then pulls you inside

“thank you for coming dear !! i want you to formally meet someone.”

and then you get SCARED scared

so when you turn to go into the living room, you nearly SCREAM

cause on the couch is mr prince chenle and you feel like one of the guards is going to strangle u with the glare they’re giving you

in your defense, you didnt Know ............ you told off the Prince .......

“chenle sweetie, this is my sweet grandchild i was telling you about !! they did tell me recently that you recently met.”

chenle blushes when he makes eye contact but you rlly dont now why cause You Told Him Off and thats rlly all you can think about HAHA

BUT in reality chenle isnt too bothered by that cause you didn’t immediately treat him like a Prince, you treated him like a regular person (albeit a lil ... Yikes)

and he actually thinks that you are the most gorgeous being in the World !! mayhaps lil prince even has a tiny crush on you !!!

when you Formally Introduce urself to him

ur grandma hits u w that, “sweetie can u help me n chenle garden some things !!”

and then she gestures u both to follow her in her backyard

she tells the guards to make themselves feel at home and leave out like lemonade or sumn

so you and chenle are just super awkward at first cause you dont know how to break the tension

also all you can think about once again: was that u rlly told him off

but then chenle starts to laugh really loudly at a joke your grandma says and then you just-

YOU WANT TO COO !! cause even tho his laugh is Super Loud, you find it endearing that he’s just letting loose like this

he catches you staring tho and he stops and he Blushes Again and you want to !!! squish !!

who doesnt want to squish chenle he’s literally such an angel and hes so adorable ugh i lov baby

so you both just start talking more and then by the end of the day you guys are just best buddies

you forget hes the prince too

but then u walk in to see the guards and ur all lik e... righ t...

its ok tho !! chenle is a person too !!

and honestly you guys make this a regular thing

you and chenle go to ur gmas house to garden every day or when you guys have the time

and essentially its just you guys pulling out weeds while talking about new and exciting things that happened to you recently

and your grandma just watches you guys get along and her heart is happy

cause chenle sometimes talks to her about him not making friends cause they always use him for his status

and so ur gma knows u arent like that and shes just really happy to see the two of you get along really well

days turn to weeks, weeks turn to months !! and you guys become really really close friends

some feelings develop too or .. whatever ..

but you dont acknowledge them cause youre just a person who lives in the viliage while hes a prince

chenle does though

and hes so shy about it that he blushes everytime you say his name or just smile at him

cause his heart goes !!!!!

he rlly likes you

and u rlly like him but u just dont know !!!

ye wutevr its 2018 and status rlly shouldnt matter but ur just rlly conscious about being judged and stuff

like even if u started to date him would his parents accept you

and then u snap out of ur thoughts cause chenle looks worried and you havent answered his question

haha he asked a question ???

‘you want to hang out with me tomorrow?? thats not gardening?? i-i mean its ok to say no haha i love gardening with you i just wanted to know if y-you wanted to try something new with me? i-i understand if you want to say no-’

‘chenle, sweetheart, breathe,’

and then he Blushes cause oh they just called me sweetheart and he just breathes

then you say you would love to !!!

and ur gma is just watching the Entire Thing with the guards

with popcorn and tea

and its literally the cutest little exchange ever cause youre both just blushing and red

so when tomorrow comes

chenle meets u at ur gmas house

and so like he holds his hand out for you to take and ur just !! heart into overdrive !!!

and then !!! he takes you to this ice skating rink cause youve mentioned before that you havent been

and he rented out the whole place so people wouldnt be bothering you two

and hes just nervous and so are you but since ur dont know how to skate youre just clinging to him for dear life

and hes such a blushing mess omg

the guards are just cooing at the both of you, some even join you on the ice

and you guys are just cracking jokes and having such a good time

there was a time where one of the guards fell on their ass and u two couldnt stop laughing

then chenle falls but since youre holding onto him you fall down too oops

and so ur just kinda ... laying down on him awkwardly and your guys’ faces are so CLOSE

but then you clear your throat and then you jump off of him

it gets kind of late and the guards are just like, “hate to break this cute and adorable moment, but your momma is calling you to be home prince”

and so chenle just blushes and gets up first, then holds his hand out again to help you up

it makes you sad when he has to leave, but he drops you off at home

when he does, he walks you to your door and then he says goodbye, but before he leaves

you feel a little bold and you kiss him on the cheek !!! so cute !!! cause then hes just RED ! and hes so flustured and he just waves bye and when he gets into his car

he just clutches his chest and has this big smile on his face and hes just so in awe

and the guards are teasing him but he really Does Not Care cause you just did : THAT

you kissed him on the cheek and hes so !!! about it

but you guys go out more often after this

and sometimes is just to hang out with your gma cause chenle has grown to love her HAHA

its become a thing where you kiss him on the cheek goodbye

wow cute

one day though, hes saying bye and hes looking away while youre about to kiss his cheek

but then he remembers he needs to tell you something

so right as your lips are about to kiss his cheek

his head turns and you two share a lil innocent peck

AND YOURE BOTH BLUSHING WOW

AND THE GUARDS ARE SO !!!!

o-ohmy gosh im so kilig you guys

CHENLE IS SO FLUSTURED THAT HE FORGETS WHAT HE WANTED TO TELL YOU

oh right he was about to CONFESS confess but like

ur flustered too so u rush out a goodbye and you LEAVE

and chenle is just !!!! ok ill tell them tomorrow !!!!

well tomorrow comes

and you dont show up

ur gma tells him that u’ve been exhausted cause of school, theyll probs be back tomorrow

so then he comes back tomorrow

and you arent there again

and this goes on for like a week

and he just Knows ur avoiding him

but like hes so fed up because he has been Waiting for the Right Time to confess to you

and so he goes over to ur house and then knocks

you answer the door and then your eyes grow wide and then u shut the door again

but chenle pushes it open and just “WAIT”

and so you just slowly open the door

“why have you been avoiding me??”

and ur just speechless cause haha avoiding you ?? why would i do that ???

and he gives you This Look

and then ur all like ... “OKAY !!! so ive been avoiding you .... what about it..”

and he just sighs and hes all serious and ur all !! cause chenle is barely serious alsdkf

“Listen,,, i really like you,”

you pause and you just look at him before grinning

“i really like you too chenle!!”

and he just looks Frustrated cause he thinks you arent getting it

“more than a friend way!!!”

and then you start to smile and ur all like .. “the feeling is mutual bub !”

and now HES pausing cause w-what

m-marty

but then you just hug him tightly and tell him how much you really like him !!!

and he goes !!!! oh my gosh !!!!

then you guys are just looking at each other and you really do forget that there are other people around you and he kisses you !!! wow !!!

please spare me ive never had my first kiss before HASKDJFHASD

BUT ANYWHO

you guys are always together now !! and he even lets you meet his parents and they immediately: love you

you basically hang around him a lot and when he says he has to do sum prince duties ur all like ... huh ... i forget ur a prince LMFOAJFH

but everything is good everything is well !!!

youre just content with what you have with chenle even tho u started off a lil rocky

you just !!! like him so much !!! life is good hehe

anway end !!! prince chenle: cutest lil headcannon but chenle is ALREADY a prince !!!

Masterlist

#nct #nct dream #nct scenarios #zhong chenle scenarios #abby writes #chenle scenario #zhong chenle #chenle #nct chenle #nct zhong chenle #chnel headcanon #prince!chenle #prince!au #nct dream scenarios #I AM BACK ... MOMENTARILY TO DROP THIS OFF .....#MAYBE ILL BE BACK AGAIN LATER !!!#MAYBE .#I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS ..#UH PLEASE LEVAE SOME FEEDBACK !! I NEED SUMN CAUSE I FEEL SUUPER RUSTY AHH #SDKJLHFASD #I HOPE YOU LIKED THIS AND IM SORRY ITS SO OVERDUE I FEEL SO Basdskjasd #ANYWAY IM WORKING ON A FEW THINGS !!!#HOPEFULLY WHEN I GET THE MOTIVATION TO DO IT ILL BE BACK AGAIN !!!#love you all with my heart thank you so much for 800 !!!#this isnt a milestone post or anything its just been in my drafts ..... for y-years ....#OK PERIOD THIS ISNT PROOFREAD SO IF THERES MISTAKES LEAVE ME ALONE AND ILL PROBABLY FIX THEM ...#PROBABLY

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lokibannerpool · 6 years ago

Text

Update on the Mun

so i have been lurking on here for a while, not really doing any drafts or replies. I’m not abandoning this blog and these muses, I just haven’t had the motivation lately to be active on this account. I have been active on my other blogs for the most part. you can find me on @forcedintoperfection @thevirginandthefool @worldsfastestpredator @strongestcullen @zorii-unknown and/or @brokenprincessofasgard

Now for the shitstorm that is my life right now.

If you’re basically homeless and you know it clap your hands *clap clap*

So we (by we I mean my mom, little brother and I) finally got evicted for reals like around Feburary-ish. My mom’s bright idea for temporary living was to move in with the worst person possible, her crazy ass aunt (on my grandpa’s side).

Not only was the move stressful, but living here is terrible, and most of that is because my mother’s aunt (i have disowned her so no she’s not my great aunt) is doing everything in her power to make us feel unwelcome. Before I go into details, let me point out that my brother refused to come stay here because he has never felt welcome in this house, so he’s staying with family from our grandmother’s side (still crazy, but slightly more reasonable). And although I technically still have a room there, I did not stay because they hate animals and the great aunt that lives there once told me that if she could make it up the stairs to our old apartment she’d kill my cats. Later she denied it, but yeah... that’s the kind of crazy on that side’ of the family.

I was going to take my cats and live in a hotel from paycheck to paycheck. i had done the math and i could afford 7 days from one paycheck if i literally didn’t buy anything else, and the hotel had free breakfast i didn’t have to worry about food at least if i could save some of the breakfast for lunch then probably do dinner at a family member’s house. (yeah not the best plan but for me if I’m giving up my cats to a shelter I’m giving up on life. plus hotel accepted animals and was legit cheaper than a putting them in a pet hotel which would have been 22 a night per cat... i have 5 cats and a part time job) BUT low and behold my mother pulls some strings with the aunt (only after catching me crying on eviction day because I didn’t know what to do with my babies) and suddenly I can keep the cats as long as they stay in the basement. Not ideal, but more affordable for me so I take it.

Now back to the hell house I’m trapped in.

1) It took a while to move everything in, but I think we were almost full settled in by a Friday or Saturday night. On the Monday (which was like day 3 of living there) my mother’s aunt not only called me repeatedly on my phone, she kept yelling my name from the first floor. When I finally become conscious enough to go see what she wants, she is telling me that I sleep too much, It’s ridiculous how much I sleep, I need to go get a job, I’m not going to sleep my life away in HER house, yada yada, then she goes on about how by my age she was living on her own and paying off her own car (both were confirmed to be lies by sources that were alive at that time. crazy bitch was still sleeping in the bed with her mother at 22).. Now maybe you think that’s not so bad? but I forgot to mention one little detail.

It was only 8:10 AM and I had class at 10 am.

My alarm clock was literally set to go off 20 minutes from that time. Not only was it early as fuck, but I had a class to go to so it wasn’t like i was going to be staying in the house all day. SHE KNEW I HAD CLASS, THAT WAS WHAT PISSED ME OFF THE MOST. I had literally been discussing my classes with her for weeks prior to even moving in with her. Another thing that interested me was how she conveniently waited until my mother had left to start harassing me. anyway, so i get dressed because im mad as hell by this point, and i get ready to leave in under 15 minutes so we’re around 8:30am by this point. When I get downstairs she is demanding that I come into her room, and against my better judgement I do but I’m in no mood to talk. She takes one look at my face and asks me “why are you pissed off?” As if she didn’t know why. I don’t want to curse her out because I wasn’t raised to do things like that so i keep my mouth shut. She keeps trying to get me to talk, and at this point angry tears that I have been trying so hard to hold back are falling and she tells me I’m being dramatic and I’m over reacting. I tell her I have to go to class more than once and she’s still demanding that I sit and talk with her, so I just walk out. She calls my phone more than once but I don’t answer because I am a) driving and b) still mad as hell. she leaves voicemails. 1 saying that im being overreacting and stuff. the second comes a few hours later with a fake apology after she apparently talked to my mother. I later find out that she lied to my mom and told her that she forgot I had school, yet when I was not trying to talk to her she was telling me i had 2 hours before i had to be in class.. so yeah and that was only the start of day 3 of living there.

2) Fast forward a few days because in this family, we apparently just go on like nothing happened after conflicts like this. My mom comes to me in the morning and warns me that the aunt had threatened to call the human society to take my cats away because I ‘don’t spend enough time with them’. Which pissed off my mom as much as me because she’s seen what I’ve done for these cats in the past 2 years. (especially with Brenda, who is a rescue stray I took in after she was covered in tape by strangers and either dropped at our door or she limped her way up the stairs to us for help, and the two litters of kittens she had in our apartment)

The aunt confronts me about this after I come down to feed them by asking me “do you really want the cats�� and then telling me not to get an attitude when I say “of course I do” rather defensively. She tells me the b.s. she told my mom to which i point out that we literally just got here, i have classes 5 days a week and work 7 days a week. Plus, she’s usually sleep when I come in after work so she doesn’t see me dragging my aching body (still sore from doing the brunt of the moving) down to the basement to replace the food and water and spend time with them before I go to bed and I would literally be sleeping down there if it wasn’t for my mom nagging me about my health (which tbh comes second to the cats in my opinion but she disagrees). She doesn’t seem all that convinced, and my anxiety was through the roof for the longest because i wasn’t sure if i was going to come back to a cat-less basement after work.

My therapist has been having an earful btw. Literally the week before I knew we were being evicted I spent most of a session trying to find something to talk to her about and now I have at least one new problem ever week.

3) This woman has no respect for me or my mother. She’s verbally attacked my mother and berated her more than once. (today included) and at one point accused my mom of using her father for money(who died only 2 years prior, and who is the only one who took responsibility for making all the funeral arrangements and is still struggling to pay that bill because no one else wanted to help). This is sidetracking a little, but my mom did a lot for my grandfather. Brought his medical supplies with a loan she had taken out from her job, literally came to wash him up multiple times because his in house nurse wasn’t doing it, and pretty much ran every errand he asked for her and if she couldn’t do it she had me do it for her... so yeah to say she was using him was really fucked up and it really hurt my mom.

3.5) One morning (last week) i literally caught her and her ‘tenant’ (aka her brother’s ex girlfriend who he left for his wife 2 years ago and refuses to leave his family’s home) talking shit about me and my mom. How we’re dirty, my mom walks too loud, complaining about us having mini conversations late at night (which only happened once), calling my mom fat, and saying that she’s not ‘dainty’ and ‘feminine’ enough and they don’t know how she kept a man for so long... really just talking trash while im standing at the top of the stairs listening. I wait until they finish to say anything and they’re not even ashamed or apologetic. The aunt literally says “good. now you can tell your mom what i said” after i said i heard just about all of it. She seemed offended when I refused to be her messenger. She then tried to talk shit about my mom to me, going as far to tell me that my mother a ‘fat slob’. And because I don’t want to be kicked out before we find a place, I have to bite my tongue and just walk away while she purposely baits me and tells me to ‘speak my mind’.

There is so much more I could write about, like how she (a woman who has never had a cat in her life) is always telling me how to take care of my cats like I don’t know what I’m doing, yet she’s basing this all off the dog she had (but didn’t really want or take care of) over 10 years ago. Or how she likes to try to provoke me or my mom (but mostly me because I’m the easier target I guess) whenever she’s bored. The fact that she forced cable boxes on us, then demanded my mom pay her $400 for the installation of the cable despite us both making it very clear we didn’t want it. How she’s always trying to say someone is trying to use her as if my mom isn’t paying $800 a month for two little ass rooms and a bathroom/kitchen we have to share with two other people And sooo much more.

I’ve ended up self harming for the first time in about two-ish years while staying here. My suicidal thoughts are happening very often and honestly I’ve turned to drinking my feelings away when I’m not cutting them away. I’ve literally been so stressed that my period disappeared for like 3 months (no im not pregnant. gotta be sexually active to get pregnant so yes its stress) and I’m pretty sure I’m developing some sort of repressed anger issues that I should probably mention to my therapist but I keep forgetting.

So that’s pretty much what’s been going on in my life lately.

And I don’t know how to end this so... there

#ooc #mun problems #mun rant #negativity tw #suicide tw #self harm tw #alcohol tw

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toruland · 2 years ago

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No no baby it's okay

A falling out? Do you wanna talk about it?

My power just came on btw so you don't have to worry about me anymore, I'll be fine

yeah, we became friends through classes and mutual friends, but for the past few 2 or 3 months, he’s just been really rude and dramatic about everything i do/the group does.

he was nice at first, but now he’s just….sigh.

he constantly makes jabs at my friends + myself (it could be on anything, like how we say things, or our bodies, or what we wear, literally anything) and when i confront him about it, he gets all defensive like we’re the bad guys and he’s done no wrong. im not sure why he even tries it if he knows im not gonna sit there and let him do it

anyways, tonight, we were on call, all pulling on the new banners on genshin, and three of us (me plus two others) were sorta bummed out since we didn’t get who we wanted in our first pulling session. we never actually expect to get the five star in the first session, but he still had the audacity to say smth along the lines of “why are yall acting like this, yall can still get the damn characters, it’s not that serious.”

this seems really stupid with the way it all started considering it was over genshin impact (it kind of is, but i was already a little heated going into the pulling session after reading what was happening to you by your family, so i have a justification for getting upset as quickly as i did) but he’s been very hypocritical lately, always telling us we’re overreacting whenever we express ourselves about whatever we might be talking about since we are all very passionate people (it’s mainly anime and video games cause we’re all nerds).

so, i call him out on it, saying he needs to stop saying that we’re “doing the most” or “need to chill out” because he does the same damn thing we do, so i don’t understand what the fuck his problem is. he then proceeded to berate me for yelling at him and started going on a whole tirade about something that had absolutely nothing to do with the situation, and we just had a screaming fest where i sorta kinda flat out said everything i disliked about him to his face.

i feel a little stupid for even wasting my breath arguing with him, but i genuinely couldn’t help myself cause him telling us that it wasn’t that serious the nail in the coffin for tonight

but im glad your power is back on, hon

#that fucker gave me a headache #it’s kind of a lot cause idk how to get straight to the point #sorry :(#bee mootie

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majesticmarais · 7 years ago

Text

Pinky Promise | J.A

Requested? yes by anon!

Summary: Y/n and Jack get in an argument after Jack continues to distance himself

Warnings? Swearing but what else is new, CHEESY AF

Word Count: 1.7k

Tags: @averysgarl @adorkableavery @seavveywdw @lovableherron @averys-headass @jackaverybabe @jackaverysboo @samithepixie @im-on-something-different

A/N: It’s been a lil while since I’ve written an imagine so I hope you enjoy!! I was on spring break so I was busy and I’m spending some time with my boyfriend before he heads back to LA so I’ll probably have more time to write soon, my motivation isn’t all there, anyway I’m rambling ENJOY THE IMAGINE! Also if you guys want more sad imagines since I know y’all liked the Jonah one leave me requests!!

I stood outside of Jack and I’s favorite lunch spot. The place where we always met up when we needed to talk about things, catch up after tour, or just spend a few hours when we wanted to be somewhere other than one of our houses.

I stood beside the bench, not bothering to sit on it since Jack was supposed to get here any second, no need to get too comfortable.

The warm California sun felt comforting as it shone against my skin, the light breeze rippling through my shirt as I watched people passing me along the sidewalk, each person so different from the other.

I pulled out my phone and checked the time, Jack was usually never late. Maybe he’s just in traffic.

After having stood outside for ten minutes, I decided to make my way into the restaurant, sitting down at the table Jack and I almost always sat at. As I tapped my fingers on the soft dark wood of the table, I stared out the window, expecting to see Jack show up, the bright sun reflecting off of his messy curls.

I sat there for almost another 30 minutes before ordering on my own, expecting that Jack had forgotten, and that he wasn’t showing up.

Jack had been pretty much blowing me off for the past few months. Now that he had better things to do and better people to spend time with, I always seemed to be a second option to him, or even a last option at that. It made me feel like he didn’t care any more, and I was losing the boy who I’ve loved for years, and who was my best friend and my rock.

I tried calling him and was sent straight to voicemail, the loud beeping sound making me cringe slightly as I furrowed my eyebrows, trying not to sound too annoyed as I spoke.

“Hey, Jack, it’s Y/N. Remember me? Yeah I guess you forgot we had lunch plans today so yeah I’m gonna eat and go home, talk to you later,” I muttered, placing my phone down slightly more aggressively than usual as I sat in silence, waiting for my food as the clinking of other people’s utensils against their plates mixed with their conversations filled the room.

My food was placed in front of me and I thanked the waiter politely, looking across at the empty chair that sat in front of me, one that was usually filled by the loud and happy presence of my best friend.

“Oh Jack,” I sighed to myself, picking up my fork, “why do you keep disappointing me?”

I sat on the couch in my apartment, watching reruns of my favorite show in hopes to distract myself from Jack forgetting about me once again. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. I knew that he could do almost everything and I would go running to him with open arms the second he asked.

The coffee mug I was holding warmed up my hands as I watched TV, a tingling sensation appearing in my usually cold hands, making me shiver slightly at the feeling.

Breaking the comforting tranquility of my small, empty apartment was the loud sound of the doorbell, making me jump slightly at the unexpected sound. I set my mug on the table and stood up, sliding my feet along the wooden floors as I made it to the front, opening the door to reveal none other than my best friend, Jack.

I stood there silently, staring at him as his eyebrows raised in the middle, his lips parted as if he were about to say something, but we stood there in silence, the tension between us so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I totally got distracted and didn’t realize what time it was and I just, I’m so sorry,” he rambled, clasping his hands together in front of him.

“Whatever, Jack, I don’t want to hear it,” I muttered, trying to shut the door on him but was interjected by his arm, making me let out a sharp exhale.

“Seriously, Y/n, I won’t do it again, can we just reschedule for tomorrow and be cool?” he asked.

“No, Jack, we’re not ‘cool’,” I snapped, “you’ve been blowing me off for months. Months. I seriously don’t think you give a fraction of a fuck about me anymore so if you want to just stop being friends completely just do it. It would hurt a lot less than me constantly trying to find a way to keep this friendship alive. I thought I mattered,” I ranted angrily, my hand still on the door frame, ready to shut it at any second.

“You do matter!” Jack retorted. “Obviously I care about you, Y/n, you’re my best friend. I just lost track of time!”

“Well clearly I don’t matter enough for you to actually commit to plans to see me. You’re not doing a very good job of being a best friend,” I snapped back, feeling my heart speed up as I stared at his face that I could always read perfectly.

“I’m busy, Y/n! Why does this matter to you so much anyway? You’re still my best friend I just can’t see you as much anymore and I’m sorry that living me dream is getting in the way!” he said, a tone of anger filling his voice now as he took a step closer to me, making me inch the door closed.

“It matters because I don’t want to fucking lose you, Jack!” I said back, my voice raising.

“You’re not losing me! You’re overreacting!” he replied.

“Am I?” I asked sarcastically, “Jack I would do anything for you. I bend over backwards for you constantly and break all my fingers for you and you barely lift one up for me. I have been in love with you for years and lately I’m lucky if I even get a text from you now that you’re off with better people!” I yelled, regretting my words instantly once they left my mouth, noticing that Jack’s eyes had widened.

“You what?” he asked, probably wondering if he just misheard me.

“I-I-nothing, just go Jack I don’t want to do this anymore,” I sighed.

“I’m not leaving,” he answered, his eyes piercing into mine.

“Fine then I will,” I scoffed, pulling my shoes on that were right next to me as I pushed past him, running out onto the street, not looking behind me, wondering if I really fucked up this time.

My legs dangled along the edge of the cliff that Jack and I used to always go to. I stared down as the waves splashed against the shore, the water making the rocks down below seem shiny as the sun reflected off them.

I wiped a tear from my eye and took a deep breath, taking in the smell of the trees and the water around me.

This was mine and Jack’s spot. It was like our sanctuary. We stumbled upon it one day a few years back when we were just adventuring together, and we instantly fell in love with it and began meeting there all the time. If we needed to talk, cry, or just escape from the bustling world a bit, this was where we went. It was just Jack and I here, now I wasn’t sure if there was a Jack and I at all.

Breaking me from my thoughts was the crunching of footsteps on branches behind me, causing me to jump and flip around, seeing Jack walking towards me, his arms up as he pushed tree branches out of the way of his face.

I turned back to face the water, looking down at it again, knowing he was getting closer. I felt his presence beside me as he sat down, his feet dangling along the edge right next to mine.

“How did you know I was here?” I asked, playing with my fingers as I averted my gaze from Jack.

“This is our spot. I had a feeling you would be here. Plus, I wasn’t that far behind,” he shrugged.

“I’m really sorry again, Y/n, I know I’ve been a really fucking shitty friend to you lately, but I really want to make it up to you. Please let me. I shouldn’t have told you that you were overreacting and I should have listened instead of being a defensive douche. I’m sorry,” he apologized profusely.

“I’m sorry too, I didn’t want to fight I just felt like I was losing you. I meant what I said by the way, about you know, so if that ruins things then I guess that’s fine,” I shrugged.

I continued staring down at the rushing waves, feeling Jack’s hand on mine, interlacing his fingers. I finally got the courage to look up at him, squeezing his hand gently.

“I’m in love with you too,” he said.

“Liar,” I mumbled.

“I’m not lying, Y/n, even though I know I haven’t done a good job at showing it,” he answered.

“You’re being so cliché,” I chuckled slightly, looking back at the water.

“Remember when we used to come here all the time?” he asked once he noticed my mesmerized gaze.

“Yeah,” I nodded, “It’s one of my favorite places in the world.”

“Anywhere next to you is my favorite place in the world,” he answered.

“So cheesy,” I chuckled again.

“I try my best,” he shrugged.

“I’m so sorry I’ve been so shit lately, Y/n. It’s definitely not because I don’t care. Life is so hectic and some days I don’t even know how to deal with it. I won’t disappoint you again,” he said.

“Promise?” you asked.

“I promise.”

“Pinky promise?”

He chuckled as he stuck his pinky out, linking it with yours as you both touched the pads of your thumbs together like you always did since you’ve known each other.

“Pinky promise,” he whispered, “forever.”

#jack avery #jack avery x reader #jack avery imagine #why don't we #wdw #whydontwe #why don't we imagine #wdw imagine #jonah marais #zach herron #daniel seavey #corbyn besson #limelight

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