#he gave a promise to her that he holds on to. he died in agony not knowing if they'll have a second chance. it was a shot in the dark.

[sovamurka]

Something I think about how Balor is simultaneously the most pathetic cowardly weak being in the entire universe and the bravest extremely strong bitch alive

[saneandrocking]

I need more about dead stan au

To be clear, I'm not sure if this idea has been already exposed and is the theme of someone's fanfic out there. I just like Dead people AU and suffering. With that said, I kinda raw dog this righ here and I hope you like the flavor!

Bits of context: This is the AU where Stan dies while he's sleeping in his car, is basically a casuality of him getting robbed, reacting and getting killed, nothing much in the side of the extraordinary. I don't remeber exactly all of the series details, but I'm rewatching it, I promise! Yes, it's a music fic, cause I'm corny. The lyrics at the right are Standford's and they belong to Come Home by One Republic and the lyrics at the left are Stanley's and they belong to Take me home by Jess Glynne, because this is how I pictured they both feel at this moment in their respective lives. Remember: Stanley's is barely a legal adult whe he's is evicted from his house and he has canonically hold a grudge because of it, and I don't think I need to justify Stanford's anger. They both have made decision that are unmistakenly selfish, and that does not define their whole characters. Kissessss!

Major trigger: Grief. Major Character Death. Curse language.

After the fallout between the Pines twins, Stanford was accepted into another university, less prestigious but with generous resources for his research. Alongside Fiddleford, he was determined to prove to the rest of the scientific community that this world was far from being fully explained by the already known elements of nature. He was more motivated than ever to delve into the obscure side of anomalies. He was going to make sure his name was not forgotten in history. He's ambitious, he has something to prove, and he feels—or has always felt—like he's already running out of time to do it, so he's fighting against the clock.

Well, hello, world

Hope you're listening

Forgive me if I'm young

For speaking out of turn

He's in his dormitory room at the college he attends, and Fiddleford is taking a well-deserved nap after helping him with some more references, while he's still researching one of the maps of anomalies recorded in the last decade. There's a certain frequency in certain areas, not old-fashioned publicity tricks to attract attention, no, it's something more… He feels like he's going in circles, even though he can see there's a pattern there. He squeezes his tired eyes; the low lighting isn't doing him any favors when the telephone (something Fiddleford found in the trash and brought home to fix) rings. It's three after midnight, and he knows nothing good can come of this.

He doesn't have time to say anything after picking up the damn thing ringing like crazy and putting it to his ear.

—Stanford, for God's sake, why aren't you answering this damn thing?! I've used all my coins trying to call the university, but they only gave me your roommate's number— a feminine voice berates him. He waits a few seconds, trying to place that strident voice, but the answer comes quickly, of course. The only woman who would call him in the middle of the night is his mom.

—Mom. I've already told you, I don't have time! I have to study even harder since Stan— He stops himself, angry. Sometimes, remembering his brother is still a mix of anger and resentment that he can't fully name to this day. He sighs.

There is someone I've been missing

—It's not the time for that! It's about your brother.— Her tone is not authoritative, but there's an agony there, a desperation that only a mother can express. A guilt trip is what she does best, he thinks bitterly somehow.

Wrapped up, so consumed by All this hurt If you ask me, don't Know where to start

—Mom, what the actual—why would I care what he does?! He ruined everything for me! I'm going to hang up now, I'm busy, call me later.— Deep down, he already feels bad enough for talking to her like that. His poor mother has tried her best all her life, just as he is doing now. And, vaguely, probably Stan is living like that too, even if his best is in another category of stupidity.

—No, no, please!— Loud sobs interrupt her speech, and he sobers up right there. His mom is not one to cry over just anything. —Ford, he is…

—Mom? What happened? I'm sorry, I lashed out.— He runs his hand through his hair, breathing in and out. —What did he do now?— A long and strained sigh, again. Why does everything have to be a problem with Stan? —Are we talking about Stan or the baby? If it's the first, let me guess.— There's a certain humor in the guessing game; he bets Stan did some nonsense expecting him to clean up after him. Again.

Anger, love, confusion Roads that go nowhere I know that somewhere better

—He's dead, Stanford. Stanley's dead,— she says finally.

—What,— he says, as if in a chokehold, struggling to get the words out.

—I'm going to pass you to your dad, he'll…— His mother chokes on her words and murmurs loudly, —My baby boy Stanley…

—Mom?! What—I can't—!— He's lost. That's all he can say and think. Stanley's lost, not dead, just lost. The idea of death is too much.

I think that they could be

The better half of me

They're in the wrong place

Tryin' to make it right

But I'm tired of justifying

—Hello, son.— The serious and deep tone of his dad doesn't do much to calm the desperate young man; it only intensifies his horror. Stanley's lost. Lost is the word they are searching for.

—Can someone just tell me what I just heard? Stanley is—it can't be, Dad…please, talk to me! He's lost?— Why does he ask something as stupid as this? He knows what he heard.

So I say to you

Come home, come home

'Cause I've been waiting for you

—It's what your mother told you. I have nothing more to say. The funeral— The rest of his words get lost in the moment. All Stanford could hear was the sound of the pen he was holding before it fell onto the table, and the room he shared with his friend became a world of its own. An empty and devastated world, full of silence and sorrow.

Would you take the wheel If I lose control? If I'm lying here Will you take me home?

Stanford can't remember how this conversation ended, how his too-hard-to-impress father explained with a shaky and strained voice when the event was going to be. He didn't even have the money to buy something formal to wear to his brother's burial. Would he be buried in his father's suit? He can only describe the slow and painful realization that came with the equally painful heartache: his twin was dead. If there was such a thing as another half of someone, his was dead and about to be buried six feet under within the next hours.

Could you take care Of a broken soul? Will you hold me now? Oh, will you take me home?

The one and only Stanley Pines died far from home, probably alone, while Ford was studying the anomalies of the world, trying to once in a lifetime feel like he belonged, only to discover that nothing could have been more important than his blood—but suddenly, that was a too-late realization.

Fiddleford stared at him as he fell to his knees, too stunned to utter a word, too broken to make sense. He later woke from this numbness holding a cup of coffee in his hands, tears rolling down his cheeks. Stan was dead, and he was alive, and now this is what he'll remember for the rest of his conscious life. This, and the broken look on his mother's face when she saw him at her door on the same day her other son died—his father did not have the strength to look directly at him.

And right now there's a war between the vanities

But all I see is you and me

And the fight for you is all I've ever known

So come home

At the funeral, the only ones present were him and his mother. Despite all the emotions (too overwhelming for Ford to watch, by the way), his father outright refused to see Stanley in the coffin. —I can't take it. I'm not man enough to watch it. Take care of your mother.

He prayed that day, to a God he wasn't sure could even hear him. The guilt was louder than him, but he tried anyway. With all the conflicting feelings in his chest, between his anger and profound grief, he did what he could with all of that, standing side by side with the cold body of his deceased brother. The mirror image of himself lying down, more neat than ever.

The world ain't half as bad

As they paint it to be

If all the sons, all the daughters

Stopped to take it in

Well, hopefully, the hate subsides

And the love can begin

It might start now, yeah

Well, maybe I'm just dreaming out loud

—I will fix this, Stan. I swear. Or I'll see you after giving up. Either way: wait for me one more time.

Everything I can't be

Is everything you should be

And that's why I need you here

[agentrouka-blog]

Why do most of the people in asoiaf fandom think that 'lyanna clutching blue rose even during her last hour as a symbol of r&l love'. For me blue rose signify as the only thing that reminded of her home in a faraway foreign land and how much she's missing her home and family ?

I feel the same, sort of. Within the books, it's a symbol linked to the North and to Winterfell and to Stark maidens, to the children that result from their stealing, to the violence inherent in it, and to the absolutely doubtful nature of their consent.

"No. They had been in Winterfell all the time, hiding with the dead beneath the castle. The maid loved Bael so dearly she bore him a son, the song says . . . though if truth be told, all the maids love Bael in them songs he wrote. Be that as it may, what's certain is that Bael left the child in payment for the rose he'd plucked unasked, and that the boy grew to be the next Lord Stark. So there it is—you have Bael's blood in you, same as me." (ACOK, Jon VI)

The maid's love and consent is entirely optional and in question and it is utterly highlighted here by GRRM. He did not have to do that. He could have just let Ygritte (who herself is not picky when it comes to consent) tell that story without the insert. But he put it there. He put it there with the Ellipses of Significance, no less. The uncertainty is deeply intentional. Why would he do that?

But also significant in that exchange is that the maid is the rose. The rose is a symbol of the northern maid. They are dead as she lays dying.

Promise me, she had cried, in a room that smelled of blood and roses. Promise me, Ned. The fever had taken her strength and her voice had been faint as a whisper, but when he gave her his word, the fear had gone out of his sister's eyes. Ned remembered the way she had smiled then, how tightly her fingers had clutched his as she gave up her hold on life, the rose petals spilling from her palm, dead and black. After that he remembered nothing.  (AGOT, Eddard I)

She wasn't clutching the roses. She was cluthing his hands. The spilling rose petals were dead and black. This is supposed to be romantic imagery?

He was walking through the crypts beneath Winterfell, as he had walked a thousand times before. The Kings of Winter watched him pass with eyes of ice, and the direwolves at their feet turned their great stone heads and snarled. Last of all, he came to the tomb where his father slept, with Brandon and Lyanna beside him. "Promise me, Ned," Lyanna's statue whispered. She wore a garland of pale blue roses, and her eyes wept blood. (AGOT, Eddard XIII)

Her eyes weep blood. Is this supposed to be romantic imagery?

Ned remembered the moment when all the smiles died, when Prince Rhaegar Targaryen urged his horse past his own wife, the Dornish princess Elia Martell, to lay the queen of beauty's laurel in Lyanna's lap. He could see it still: a crown of winter roses, blue as frost. Ned Stark reached out his hand to grasp the flowery crown, but beneath the pale blue petals the thorns lay hidden. He felt them clawing at his skin, sharp and cruel, saw the slow trickle of blood run down his fingers, and woke, trembling, in the dark. Promise me, Ned, his sister had whispered from her bed of blood. She had loved the scent of winter roses. (AGOT, Eddard XV)

In Ned's dream, the flower crown is aggressively attacking his hands - the very hands that Lyanna clutched in her dying - and it is ironically juxtaposed with her former love of this scent. The flower was turned into a weapon, subverted into nothing but agony. A poisoned gift.

Is this supposed to be romantic imagery?

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Follows from @angst-after-dark's piece here

-

There's a little coffeeshop down the road from the soup kitchen, and Jameson makes his way there, clutching a handful of dollars that Taron's friend had slipped him when he told her to fuck off and stop trying to make conversation. Then he'd apologized for telling her to fuck off. Then she'd given him the money.

He curls up on a couch in the corner. It's a million years old and sagging in the middle, but soft, and he can sit here sipping coffee until they ask him to leave. Dark clouds gather overhead, promising rain. Thunder rolls somewhere in the distance, as low as Robert's voice rumbling when he ordered Jameson out of the cage.

He misses Nanda's deeper growl, the purr always at the edge of every order given. Men always talk to him like that, low and deep. There are so many flavors of deep voices, so many different tastes on his tongue.

The thunder comes again, louder this time.

"Oh, Elsie'll be scared as shit," He mutters. Taron's goat - or, well, Zizi's really - didn't like loud deep noises like that. She'll be hiding in the barn behind haybales or something. Taron'll have to hunt around for her.

Well. Not his problem anymore. He'd seen the look on Taron's face after he hurt him, heard the get out of here that the man never said.

Jameson looks down, taking another sip. The coffee is good but it just makes the way his chest twists in hurt and... and guilt, cut a little deeper. He had known sooner or later that Taron would get sick of him. It was just a matter of time..

But he still feels like shit about it.

The little bell over the door rings as people come inside, probably just wanting out of the rain that had started to fall, droplets tap-tap-tapping. Jameson closes his eyes, fighting the saltwater heat stinging there. He doesn't cry anymore. Robert took every year he had left. He won't cry again.

He was stupid to think his broken brain was worth fighting for. His broken body, scarred and in pain all the time. The legs that some days don't work, and he has to pretend he doesn't want to do chores so he doesn't have to admit that he does want to help, but his knees won't straighten out without agony, his legs won't hold his weight. He was stupid to think some guy would want to deal with his nightmares and how sometimes he tastes the voices of people who have died, how nightmares wake him up screaming.

With all his scars and his fucked up bald patches, he isn't even pretty enough to earn it by opening his legs. Nobody wants a scarred slut.

Especially not one who pulls a knife when you're just trying to help him, the fucking moron.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Stupid-

He jams the palm of his hand against his eyelids, fighting the way his throat closes up, how badly he wants to cry. Not here. Not now. Not ever again.

The couch dips as someone sits down next to him, and he turns to snarl fuck off, can't you see I'm a fucking danger to you only to have the words die in his throat, the taste of them turn to nothing on his tongue.

Zizi, head tipped to one side, waggles her fingers in a wave. "Hello."

Jameson blinks.

Then he looks away, and-

Taron, lurking with hands in his pockets. Long sleeves cover the bandage Jameson knows is there on his arm. He looks as bad as Jameson probably does, the exhaustion written in his face and frame.

"What-..." He has to clear his throat, rubbing aggressively at tear tracks to pretend they never existed. He looks from one of them to the other. "Why the fuck are you here?"

Zizi is the one who answers. Her voice pops on his tongue, like always. If she ever kissed him he might melt into the floor. "We came here for you, Jameson."

"... Why?" His eyes go to Taron. The cold anger of this morning isn't there, not even when Jameson searches for it, for even a hint. He just looks tired, and... relieved. "I fucking cut your arm. You could have bled-"

"Gave myself stitches." Taron shrugs, as if discussing taking a short walk on a sunny day. "Done it before. Not such a deep cut."

"I'm..." He didn't know what to say. He had been thinking about leaving an apology note at the restaurant, taping it to the door and then disappearing again. Easier for them. Easier to understand that he knows he isn't wanted anymore.

Except-

They're both here.

"I'm not safe," He finally says, rasping, just above a whisper. "I have nightmares-... all the time."

Zizi puts a hand on Jameson's shoulder, thumb rubbing a little there, soothing. How she does this - touches without intent or coercion, only affection - is a revelation for Jameson. He can't remember anyone before the two of them who could touch him without demanding something in return.

Taron, where he stands, only nods.

"I wake up and I-I don't know where I am. I could... do anything. Hurt anybody. I hurt you. I don't want to-... But I don't know. I only see..." He trails off. "I only see Robert. Or Brute."

The two of them share a look, but Jameson doesn't see it. He's staring down at his coffee again. Outside, thunder cracks and the lights in the coffeeshop flicker. Someone laughs nervously across the room, acidic like orange juice.

"People who hurt you," Zizi says, voice low and soft. She moves close to him and something in Jameson's iron isolation cracks. He leans against her, lets his head rest on her shoulder.

"People who fucked me up," He agrees, eyes closed. "Better I stay off by myself, anyway. It could happen again. I could hurt someone again-... I don't-... I don't want to hurt someone again... But I wake up and I see him, and I know if I don't fight this time... it doesn't fucking matter. I hurt you, and you, you did the right fucking thing, telling me to go. I won't bug you anymore. I'll fuck off, and you don't have to worry about me anymore."

"Oh, honey," Zizi murmurs. Her arms go around him.

There's a silence.

Then, Taron says in his own soft, deep voice, "I didn't tell you to go, kid."

"... What?"

"Didn't... Didn't want you to go."

[moonstonedrawsrandomly]

Mother 13🟢.

“I’m shocked that this worked. Fernilla?”

She said, realizing her full body was here. Interesting. She was in the head of Fernilla but she can smell Narinder inside. She didn’t have to walk much until she found Fernilla’s form tied up by Narinder’s powers.

“You liar! You said they were alive! I trusted you!”

“A terrible thing for you to do, dear! Now you have nothing! Who told you I was trustworthy in the fist place, such a naïveté goddess should be parted with her power and her cult. Unfortunately at this time you clan is gone. You know what happens at this point”

“Your right”

That wasn’t the rabbit, who was that? That sounded familiar

“You were never trustworthy to begin with…my child…if I could even call you that”

Narinder backs up, alarmed!

“Mom?”

“Oh, you still refer me as that? After what you have done to your Clan? Your own family?!? I know everything now! You sniveling excuse of a BISHOP!”

Narinder dodged the attack. Looking more shocked that his own mother would attack him. In his hesitation, Gaia was able to grab Fernilla from her capture.

“What have you done to your family?!?”

“What have I done?!? You should ask your Partner what they did to ME!!! Everything fell apart because of THEM!!!

“Nari, I may not have seen much of you growing up, but I assume you know why I was sealed away. To scramble the power and structure of the Faithful Cult and to leave an open spot for a new ruler to take over. And this Power surge…It involves Fernilla, doesn’t it?”

Narinder looked shocked! How did she figure that out?!? And so soon?!? There is no way that they would know what he was up to, how did she figure it out without a problem?

“You already know what I was about to do…your clever mom…you were always my favorite parent”

“You stabbed me in the arm with a pencil! What psycho would to that to someone they loved?!? You’re still hungry for power…I thought you’d grow out of this…You slaughtered-“

“I didn’t do anything! They did it-“

“Through you! A follower dies because they followed you is tragic, but all it does is put a target on your head.”

Narinder was silent before he tried to attack Gaia, Gaia subdued him quite quickly at Fernilla’s shock. There was a moment that they were holding each other from killing each other. Narinder…actually felt calm. That familiar maternal warmth that Gaia gave off. It reminded him…

“Balance your power Nari!”

“I’m trying Mama!”

“I know, but this is too much! You’re merely sparring with your little brother, NOT trying to kill him!”

She said as she released a much younger Narinder. Kallamar was wrapped up in his sister’s arms. Gaia shakes her head.

“This is why no one want to spar with you, you go too far! You younger brothers don’t want to soar with you, and now your older sister doesn’t. Mom and Elder Sibling can’t keep sparring with you because you cannot control your powers…nari”

She takes his little hands and kisses them

“Such a strong boy…you must be careful…promise me you’ll be careful, okay?”

“Okay Mom!”

Little Narinder jumps into his mother’s arms. She embraces him.

“We spent years raising you…you..you were their favorite child…and this is how you treat them? Even after they spared you from death…”

She shoves him away. Narinder was still in shock, her warmth disappeared as she hops back and grabbed Fernilla. She lifted her hand and a beam of light emanated from it.

“Purify the nonbelievers, and vanquish the evil!”

Narinder ended back up in his domain. This time, he had no way out! He roars in pain and agony and anger!

“MOTHER!!! They even turned you against me!! I will kill them!! I WILL KILL THEM ALL UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND!”

Even in his immense anger…he whimpers…

“Mom…mom…I thought you loved me…don’t abandon me…like they did…!”

He held those words in his heart.

“Noelle, you can open your eyes now”

Noelle opens them to see Gaia’s crown and Fernilla looking on. Noelle jumps up immediately to hug Fernilla

“Goddess Fernilla!”

“My Goddess!”

Moses entered the room and hugs his goddess so tightly. Gaia took notice. Noelle stepped back.

“My goddess! Forgive my incompetence! I couldn’t protect you in your time of need! I deserve death!”

Moses said. Fernilla lifted him off the ground

“Moses, you didn’t abandon me. Even in death, you were by my side. Do not grieve, for I am alive.”

He then takes off her crown and presented it back to her.

“A crown that is rightfully yours”

He placed it back on her head. Gaia was astounded. A follower actually giving that type of power back? That is some devotion

‘This is why you survived for so long Fernilla…I get it now…’

Gaia thought. Soon she could feel the others coming.

“The others have found us. It would be wise to return to the Clan. Goddess Fernilla, remember that they are of a higher rank than you, so please treat them well.”

“You-“

“It’s okay Moses…I was promised I would be told the whole truth…we will find out soon enough”

Moses picks up his sword and anything else he needed from the remains of his hut. They rejoin the other Bishops and they teleported back to the Clan

“Mom, are you sure Elder Sibling will be okay with us just…bringing her here?”

Heket asked. Gaia sighed.

“They will have to be. Worst case Senario, someone will have to soothe them since I cannot in this form…I hope Kallamar can do that!”

She said. When they entered back, a servant came straight to them.

“My Lady, Bishop Shamura is waiting for you with Bishop Kallamar in the Throne room”

‘Ah shit’

‘That was fast!’

‘We’re dead!’

‘Not even a second In….”

There was no point in hiding from them now, they might as well go in and face their demise.

TBC

[dwellordream]

The Chariot - Upright, Aemma (Fem!Aemon) and Alysanne, requested by Skysong

Aemma has always done her duty. She was the first child to live past the age of six of all her mother’s brood. 

To her fell all the responsibilities of an eldest daughter. It was her job to stay healthy and strong, so her parents would not lose another child to illness. It was her job to look after Baela, with her wild ways and love for swords and jousts. 

It was her job to claim a dragon, so she tamed Caraxes, the Wild Wyrm. It was her job to marry well, so she accepted her betrothal to Boremund, though his brusque manners and belligerence irritated her. 

Hells, she even came to love him, in her way, and she thinks he does love her. She gave him a daughter, her beloved Rhaenys, though all her sons died in her belly or in the cradle.

It was her job to defend the realm on dragonback, so she fought against the Dornish when they attempted to invade the Stormlands, despite her father’s discomfort with permitting his daughters to fight alongside him and Aelyx. 

She would have done so again when Myrish pirates captured half of Dorne, but she was pregnant with her last child, and so she remained at Storm’s End, and Aelyx took a crossbow bolt through the throat and died, her mischievous little brother, only two-and-thirty. Baela died nine years later, of a burst belly after a hunt in the Kingswood. 

Still, Aemma did her duty. She sat her father’s Small Council alongside her mother, though he never deigned to grant either an official role. She went on countless tours of Westeros with her father. She mediated argument after argument between her parents, alongside her brother Maegel. 

Sober, sweet Maegel, who refused to relinquish his vows to the Faith, even after Aelyx died and her father turned to his second son and demanded he give up his crystal pendant and robes for a crown. Maegel died four years after Aelyx, of greyscale, after he spent months tending to children dying of the disease.

Her father passed over Daelon, who even Aemma could acknowledge would never be able to sit the Iron Throne, much as she loved him. They called her baby brother simple but he loved them all dearly, even when his siblings mocked him behind his back. 

Saeron, though he craved power above all else, got himself exiled after angering their father one time too many. Viserion died in a drunken horse race. Gael was seduced by a singer who discarded him like trash and drowned himself in shame and agony. 

Now her mother is dying. Her father is ailing as well; Aemma does not think he will long outlive his wife. All their sons are dead. All their children are dead, save Aemma and Vaella, who has been with the Faith since the tender age of twelve. She heads a motherhouse in Oldtown, where they say she dabbles in alchemy and the arcane. 

Aelyx and Baela were survived by their sons, while Aemma is a grandmother through Rhaenys. It seems likely that her father will choose either her own grandson Laenor, a child of seven, or Viserys, now a young man of four-and-twenty. He once rode Balerion, for less than a year, before the old drake died.

She does not have to ponder who her father would choose, though he may put it to a Great Council. But her mother-

“Promise me,” Alysanne says weakly, “there will be no strife, after your father and I are gone. Promise me, Aemma. Viserys is your nephew. Your brother’s firstborn son. I know you have never been fond of him-,”

“I love Viserys,” Aemma says, stiff and unmoving, holding her mother’s soft, cool hands. “I would never seek to hurt him, Mother.”

“But you must know,” Alysanne whispers, “you must know that your father-,”

“Will not countenance being succeeded by a woman, so he will put it to the lords of the realm?” 

Her mother blinks at her, slowly, and says, “The lords of the realm may surprise you.”

Aemma does not intend to give them the option. She wants no surprises. No luck of the draw. She wants what she is owed. Viserys has no real desire to be king. If he believes he does, it is a fantasy of an overactive imagination. 

He will be quite happy with some fertile lands and a few dozen flocks of sheep and cattle. She has waited and wept and lost more in her life than he can fathom. She will not lose this, too. 

“Or,” Aemma says, to her mother, who dearly loves her, but who has oft disappointed her, “The lords of the realm may be surprised by me.”

Her mother’s smile is tremulous and half-incredulous. Aemma squeezes her hands, then lets them go.

[r0-boat]

How to Train Your Dragon AU

( excluding rescue Riders and Nine Realms🤢)

Hello welcome back to my Rambles time to talk your ear off now .

Hi I am obsessed with dragons and we should talk about my favorite Dragon series.

Some parts are heavily based on the first movie LOL

Y'all I'm still upset I made memes for this post but tumblr won't let me add them 😭

Story:

The story takes place in Another Universe that isn't the normal How to Train Your Dragon timeline, so you will see some differences.

The twins grew up in a mostly seafaring Village however the waves around their Islands were violence and biking lives were threatened every time they set out to sea. At the time dragons were still considered a threat and the Vikings natural enemy...

Their mother was a born Warrior, and their village praised her for her many stories of heroic rescues and daring slaughtering of dragons.

Their father was a "simple" blacksmith however it's handcraft was like no other with Innovative technique to make not only better and lighter more durable weapons but he occasionally traveled into can crafting and construction.

( he gave his wife a sword that took him years to find materials for and forge for a wedding gift)

Like all Vikings during that time the tradition was when a child reaches a certain age, as a coming-of-age ceremony they must slay their first dragon, their mother's first dragon was a Skrill, the village had pretty high expectations for her kin.

Ingo was always the nicer one his mother still loved her boys deeply but was worried that ingo wouldn't survive, of course her boy did know how to defend himself he always protected his brother and himself when they were little, but if that time came where it was a Do or Die situation she's afraid that her son wouldn't make that decision.

When Ingo just so happened to overhear a conversation of his mother explaining her worries too her husband. He packed his stuff and set out for the Wilderness .

Ingo story follows similar to hiccup trying to kill his Dragon before eventually becoming friends with it

constantly sneaking it into the village while the rest of the village worried and fretted over one of the Chiefs Children. No one took and goes disappearance harder than Emmet. Refusing to take place into the ceremony until he finds his brother.

Ingo slips up and leaves one too many tracks behind causing Emmet to be hot on his tail

( Ingo has been gone for a well over a couple years, thinking about whether or not to come back home with knowing that dragons weren't demonic beasts like everyone else thought they were he still misses his family and he constantly visits in disguise but he doesn't think he could come back knowing the truth about dragons)

Emmet eventually finds him and they have a moment. Emmet tries to go for a kill thinking that the dragon was endangering his brother but gets knocked by the dragon while Ingo attempts to hold his brother back.

(At this point both of the Chief's sons are missing and she's in agony lol.)

Emmet is pissed not only because ingo love his entire Village and family behind for years also because he's tied to a chair made of rock.

Ingo Tries desperately to convince his brother to not tell anyone about him and being with a dragon.

To trust him and he will show him what dragons actually are like...

Despite everything... Emmet agreed( not before saying that his brother lost his mind.)

Ingo unties Emmet and watches him leave

Emmet keeping his promise return to the Village without mention anything. Still making an effort to visit his brother weekly.

Emmet slowly starts warming up to dragons but is not sure if he should have his own yet...

Emmet wasn't the only one searching for his sibling, a dragon flew trying to attack the humans thinking that it took their sibling hostage. Before Emmet could react and goes Dragon leaped in and put their body in between their rider and the dragon.

The other Dragon snarls but trusts its sibling; it is still wary of humans, keeping its distance.

Emmet eventually tames this dragon tensions between humans are dragons are still there but they are no longer at War

( they probably fight some large Dragon queen or something LOL haha)

Since the waves make traveling by boat tough ingo and Emmet start a system where they bring passengers from one island or one part of the island to another.

Occasionally dabbling in Dragon Racing

Now to give the boys their dragons

Emmet

At first and it's dragon would be extremely protective to the point of almost being aggressive Firepower is its only source of Defense. However, it has melted out now, probably because it has been baby

Don't take this lizard for granted this dragon is extremely smart and will gain the upper hand.

The dragon uses its powerful blasts and skills.

Emmet is a very competitive person and needs a dragon to match

I can see them having a hookjwng and anot loud relationship, butting heads a lot but having mutual respect to being very close.

Nightfury

Also Possible picks: Monstrous Nightmare, Skrill

Ingo

Ingo's Dragon would be skittish but slowly opening up and at first, using their surroundings to their advantage other than pure firepower.

It uses Firepower at its last resort.

However over time Ingos Dragon will be more socialized even being more playful even a little reckless.

Like his Dragon ingo will use the environment to his advantage or any Gadget he has in his hands

When Ingo is making things his Dragon helps by providing fire and grabbing tools you requests

Light fury

Also possible picks: Deadly Nadder, Changewing

[queen-dahlia]

𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐦

Pairing: Gilbert x Emma

❝Desiderium : an ardent desire or longing especially : a feeling of loss or grief for something lost.❞

A/N : This was inspired from a poem by @atelieredux! Many thanks for being my beta-reader for this fic! Thank you for taking the time to read and sharing your points of view 🙏🏻💖 Please check out her amazing works! 😇😇😇 Also thank you as well from a dear friend in FB who added some fuel even though she wanna kill me after reading this 😆

WARNINGS : tw: major character death (not Gilbert) tw: grief, tw: angst, tw: anxiety, tw: depression (of the suitor).

She was his first love, and he pledged to protect her, but he felt worthless now as he brought her body closer to him, the love of his life dying in his arms.

She's too weak to move her hand and wipe away his tears, nor even expressed how much she loved him. As her eyes slowly closed, she prayed that Gilbert would forgive her for leaving the world so soon, for not fulfilling the promises of marrying him in just a few months and growing old together. She wished that he would find his happiness again. Even if that happiness no longer includes her.

The prince sobs as he holds her lifeless body to him tightly, hands trembling as he kisses her forehead and finally, on her lips.

~~~~~

Family and friends mourned at her tomb while the prince remained in his chamber, staring at her portrait with uncontrollable tears streaming down his cheeks.

~~~~~

Before falling asleep, and even in his dreams, all he could see was her smiling face.

The places where they would usually go now suffocated him because they are filled with their memories and promises.

Oh, how he yearned for her. He longed for her warmth, lovely voice, and gentleness. He missed her embrace when he returned home. 

He missed her telling him "Everything's going to be okay" whenever he was having a bad day. He missed the "I love you" before they went to bed and when they woke up.

~~~~~

Gilbert could never forget her, and every breath he took hurt.

She was the only one who accepted him and saw him as a human rather than a trampling beast. The only person who could always make him happy. The only woman who cared about him despite his cruel humanity. She was the only one who kept him sane and prevented him from conducting violent or murderous deeds.

She gave him love and hope. But now she was gone forever, abandoning him in this cruel world.

He may still be smiling as if nothing had occurred, but deep inside he was dying. His heart was constantly being torn apart, and his soul screamed in pain and misery. In the end, Gilbert became more ruthless and heartless than ever.

Days turned into years of agony. The prince always believed that this was his punishment for trampling on other people's hearts. For taking the lives of others before meeting her. For loving someone so pure as her.

~~~~~

His eyes fluttered open from the cold breeze. Gilbert sighed, wishing he could be with her in his dreams and not have to wake up. He stood up and brushed aside the dry leaves on his lover's grave.

When he saw her name again on her gravestone, memories of her flooded back into his head like a river. The way she spoke gently to him, how much she loved him, her charming smile, and how she looked him in the eyes with sincere affection.

He'd never felt so loved before. His experience was ethereal. Yes, it was a wonderful feeling. 'Love', on the other hand, was something he never wanted to experience again.

They died together, her physical life and his ungrateful heart. He believed in the next life and vowed to himself that he would always do the right thing for her.

Gilbert smiled as he kneeled in front of her grave... But it was a melancholy smile. Tears begin to fall from his crimson eye, and he whispered:

     "Someday, somewhere, somehow... You and I will be together again..."

[xoxoavenger]

I Promise

pairing: Jack Thompson x Reader

summary: When Y/N gets shot instead of Ana, Jack is the one to make the promises.

word count: 2105

warnings: major character injury, cannon typical violence

masterlist

Jack Thompson didn't cry.

Not when he found out that he had killed people for no reason, not when Chief Dooley died, and not when he lost his war buddy. Life happens. Death hurts. It sucks. But it was a part of war and life.

That was before Y/N was hurt.

Daniel and Peggy had never seen anyone in the state that he was in, much less Jack the way he was. They hadn't even known Jack could have a soft spot for Y/N. They thought she was just a girl that Jack was sweet with. They wouldn't have kept her alone with Jason if they knew how important she was to him.

~

Y/N could see Jason getting taken by Whitney. She couldn't let this happen. So, she ran outside.

"Hey!" A gun was pointed at her before she could even finish talking, and she held her hands up and stumbled back.

"No! We can't shoot her!" Y/N could barley heard anything they were saying as she stared at the gun. It wasn't pointed at her anymore, but it was still in their possession.

"He will die if you take him. He needs-" She said, even though she was scared out of her life. She didn't want to die, to leave Jack behind.

"He needs answers. And I'm gonna help him get those." Whitney cut her off, and she became brave.

"You won't get away with this. She won't stop coming for you." Y/N said, getting closer. She could hear the car. She just had to wait.

"I don't doubt that. I can, however, slow her down." Y/N didn't have time to think before Whitney raised the gun and shot. Y/N heard the loud noise as she screamed, reflexively wrapping her arms around her abdomen. Pain erupted. She unwrapped her arms and looked at it, blood covering the pale tan dress she was wearing. Jack's favorite dress on her. She could only hear echoes of sounds as she fell to the ground. The car pulling up, the sound of tires screeching as a car made it's escape. Y/N moaned as she grabbed her stomach once more, wishing the pain would just stop. She could hear the footsteps of people, their voices clashing together. She heard them calling her name, but all she could do was moan in agony. Nothing had ever hurt this bad. She wished Jack were here; he would know what to do. He would take the pain away. She just wanted to see him.

Peggy and Jarvis were screaming. Peggy was pressing her hands into Y/N's side, and her vision was fading in and out. The pain was becoming numb, and Y/N didn't think that was a good thing.

She just wanted to hear Jack's voice one last time.

~

Daniel had been the one to call Jack, after he had been called to the hospital. He was unaware just how close Jack and the girl were, but he thought Jack should know what had happened.

"Jack,"

"Sousa? To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Jack, this is serious. It's Y/N."

"What happened?" Jack's tone was suddenly deadly; he wasn't asking a question, he was commanding something. It was a tone Daniel only heard in grave situations, and he supposed this fit.

"Daniel," Jack was running out of patience as the other chief stayed silent.

"She was shot." Daniel choked out, and the receiver was so silent, he wondered if the call had been disconnected.

"Where?"

"Excuse me?"

"Where is she?" The tone hadn't dropped.

"We're at the Hospital on Twenty-second." As soon as Daniel had told Jack, he heard the phone slam onto the hook.

"How'd he take it?" Jarvis asked, and Daniel looked up to him, away from the phone.

"A lot worse than I expected."

~

When Jack arrived, he was already so torn apart. His eyes were red and swollen, his hair array, in his pajamas.

"Christ, Thompson, you couldn't put on some actual clothes?"

"Where is she?" Jack ignored Daniel, instead asking Peggy, who looked a little worse for wear herself.

"She's in surgery. What's going on with you?" Peggy looked Jack over, and he sat down, rubbing his face.

"What happened?"

"Jack, seriously, what,"

"What the hell happened?" Jack asked more forcefully, looking over to her. Peggy's eyes widened as she stared at Jack.

"Dr. Wilkes was taken by Whitney. When we arrived, we watched her get shot on the front lawn. We drove her here as quickly as we could." Peggy retold the events in a manner that gave away no emotions. She studied Jack, watched as a tear slipped out of his eye before he put his head in his hands.

"Have they said anything yet?" Jack asked through his hands, and Peggy put a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm beginning to think that Agent L/N is more than just an Agent, Thompson."

"Margret, I don't have time for this. Have the doctors said anything or not?" Jack looked up at her, face wet, and Peggy felt her heart sink.

"They took her into surgery. They still don't know if she's going to make it out." Peggy said quietly. Jack stood up and walked away. Peggy, Daniel and Jarvis all shared a look before Daniel went after him.

"Jack, look,"

"What if she's already gone?" Jack's back was to Daniel, but it was obvious how much he was hurting. He looked like he was staring at something in his hands.

"No, you can't think like that." Daniel didn't know what else to say.

Silence. He could only see Jack swaying, which was weird, because he was always so uptight and put together.

"Jack. Jack? Are you o," Daniel couldn't even get the words out before Jack was on the floor. "Jack!" Daniel crunched his way to Jack's body. He shook Jack, who blinked up at Daniel after a few seconds. Daniel sat back and looked around, not knowing what to say. His eyes caught a white box, which had been partially opened. Daniel didn't need to see the contents to know what was in the box.

"Jack, were you going to propose to Y/N?" Daniel didn't know Jack and Y/N's relationship was that serious and intimate. Jack didn't say anything, but sat up and grabbed the box. That must've been what he was looking at in his hands. "Woah, pal. Be careful there." Daniel said, putting a hand on Jack's should to steady him.

"Jack! Jack! She's out." Peggy yelled as she ran down the hallway to Jack.

"Jack, wait! You shouldn't be getting up yet!" Daniel said, but Jack was already standing up on shaking legs, making his way to Peggy.

"Y/N," Jack whispered when he approached her room. The binds were open, meaning he could see her laying lifeless on the bed. She looked so peaceful. So beautiful. Jack immediately went for the door, but a doctor stopped him. "Let me see her."

"I will. But first, I need to inform you of a few things."

"Do it in there."

"Jack, let him finish." Peggy said, and Jack stood still, a hand still on the doorknob.

"We don't know the effectiveness of the surgery. It was successful, but she hasn't woken up yet. There is a chance she,"

"Let me see my wife!"

No one knew what to respond with. Y/N and Jack weren't married, but no one wanted to correct him.

"Chief Thompson." Jarvis said from behind them. Peggy turned, but Jack just opened the door.

"Sir,"

"Oh, Y/N. Baby." Jack fell to his knees as he reached the bed, grabbing her hand. Her head was rolled toward him, and he just wished she would open her eyes then and there.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He cried, putting his head down against the bed.

"My only job was to protect you, and I failed. This is my fault." Jack had his head in his arms, still holding onto her hand and the ring.

~

"Fibber McGee and Molly. Fibber McGee and Molly." Jack whispered over and over and over. Peggy came into the room with two coffees, but Jack didn't notice.

"I beg your pardon?"

"This damn radio won't tune into anything." Jack said, but it sounded as if he were talking to the radio. Peggy put the drinks down, but Jack didn't notice. He was stiff on his knees, not even blinking. Just as Peggy was about to interject, Jack raised a fist and punched the radio, the static cutting out.

"Jack, I think you should sit." Peggy grabbed his shoulders to help him to his feet, but Jack turned in her grasp.

"How can I sit, Marge? How can I sit when I don't even know," Jack trailed off, but they both knew what he was going to say.

Jack had looked bad last night, but he looked even worse today. His shirt was wrinkled from running his hand across it, and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Look. She's out of surgery. She has color in her cheeks." Peggy said in a soft, uplifting voice. Jack stared at Y/N, face neutral.

"They can't even estimate when she'll wake up. If she wakes up." Jack said, his voice quiet.

"She wants to hear your voice. She doesn't care about anyone else's." Peggy stood closer to him, but Jack still didn't look at her.

"I just want to hear her's." Tears began to flow out of Jack's eyes as he scrunched up his face. Peggy felt her heart shatter.

"I'm going to go to your hotel room and pick up your clothes, tooth brush, razor," Peggy gently lead Jack to the chair, talking in her quiet, calming voice. "So that when she does wake up, you will look like Chief Thompson." Peggy smiled down at him, but he continued to stare at Y/N. Peggy left the room, but Jack didn't look at her.

He just kept staring at Y/N.

~

"I promise I'll wear that green suit you like to all of our dates, even though I hate it." Jack had his hands wrapped around hers, back on his knees next to her bed. "I promise I'll cook more when I stay at your house." He watched the rise and fall of her chest.

"I promise not to leave my dirty clothes on your floor." Jack pulled out the ring, still holding onto her with the other hand. "I promise we can get those sheets you like when we move in together." He flipped open the box, revealing the ring inside. "I promise to like your purple dress." He looked up at her face. She hadn't moved.

"I promise we can try that restaurant you wanted to go to since we got here." He looked back at their hands, the ring. He grabbed her left hand, looking at it for a moment. "I promise I will be the best husband." His voice started to crack as tears made their way down his face once more.

"I promise," He paused to let out a sob before looking to her. "I promise I will protect you until I die, that nothing like this will ever happen to you," Another sob. "Just please, Y/N," He put his head down. "I'll never let this happen again." He cried, his voice raising.

"Please, wake up!" He practically screamed, throwing his head back. He sunk back down, crying into his arms.

"I don't know how I could be asleep after that." Jack's head snapped up, looking at Y/N's face. Her eyes were barely open, but Jack could tell she was awake. She had a small smile on her face.

"You're awake." Jack whispered, letting go of her hand and the ring. He moved closer to her face, putting a hand on her cheek and brushing her hair away.

"I woke up at the sheets," Y/N said, and Jack smiled. "But I wanted to see what else I could get." Her eyes closed again, but Jack could tell she was awake.

"I'll go get the doctor." Jack could barley speak, he was so happy she was awake.

"Jack, wait." She said quietly as he stood. He turned to look at her and immediately knew what she wanted. He smiled before grabbing her face, bringing his lips to hers.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Jack smiled at her, and she weakly smiled back. He turned to walk out and get the doctor.

"Jack," He turned and looked at her with a big smile.

"Don't forget the ring." His face dropped and she still had the weak smile on her face. "You gotta keep your promises."

[daim1812]

One Last Time

Levi Ackerman x Reader

Labels: Romance, angst, drama, mentions of suicide, blood, children involvement, pregnancy and death.

Warning: Some manga spoilers. Change of storyline for adaptive purposes.

Song of choice: Saturn by Sleeping at Last

As the sun went down so did his body, sitting down on the log with a perfect view to a hidden lake between enclosed tall trees. Rising up from the mountain, the moon made its way into the night sky.

Levi couldn’t stop himself to stare at the moon. He couldn’t stop breathing the air, feeling it hit his lungs with small fights. He couldn’t stop from repeating the same images in his head.

His squads death made him realize that death was always near. He knew that no matter how much he ran away from it, it was always going to catch up to him.

Mike’s death shook him slightly. He knew this man for his whole years of being in the Scouts, and consider him someone close to him.

Erwin’s death threw him in a verge of loosing himself, almost to the point of ending things. And yet... he found himself weak to the thought. He couldn’t do it, it was someone else’s job to kill him and end his agony. Even when Hange stood there with him and helped him realize that he wasn’t that alone, her sudden sacrifice pushed him into an unknown feeling.

And so he sat there, amaze by the scenery; amazed by the simple thought that he was still... living.

Without a care in the world, Levi closed his eyes and emerge into the swing of the wind. Hitting him softly on the face and pushing his hair back, he indulge in a new feeling he couldn’t describe before.

He was delighted.

He was enlighten.

Yet, he hated that. Everybody else died, leaving him alone to understand himself and hate himself at the same time. All he wanted was... for them to come back. Since Isabel and Farlan, Levi learned the hard way that life isn’t the way he thought it would be. Kenny’s death was another punch in his face. His mother's death since the beginning made him this solitary person filled with problems.

Levi wasn’t normal.

Two pair of hands took him by surprise, but not enough to act defensive. He already knew this hands.

She pressed her face on Levi’s head, her body slightly pushing to his back. Her hands collared on his neck, embracing him thoroughly to her own content.

“What are you doing, Captain?” Her voice swayed Levi’s ears, the melody in her voice making him subtle and nostalgic.

“I have never stopped myself to watch this place, Captain.” He mumbled, almost too low for her to understand, but she did. Levi felt her jaw tense and knew she was smiling.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? This is what we fight for, Levi. For this place, this scenery, for the wind, for the people, for the oceans, for the animals, for us.” She let go of Levi to sit beside him, looking at him.

Levi finally got rid of his bandages, half of his face with a scar that marked a battle in transition; his left eye was hidden over a patch. She wanted so much to contain herself from touching his face once again. One after the other, every time she saw him like this, her hands immediately moved to touch his face. Levi doesn’t care much, but at the beginning he prohibited her to do so.

“Can I...?” The whisper made Levi look down, slowly nodding, not wanting to show her that he needed her to touch him.

Her fingertips rolled on his skin and scars, slowly, and carefully, she continue the path from the chin to his forehead. She stopped the movement once she reached his eye patch, looking at him for confirmation. He didn’t say anything, still staring at the ground in front of him, how the grass moved with the wind.

“I love your eyes, Levi.” She smiled at him, continuing her path, her fingers sinking inside his hair.

He finally let go of a sigh, looking up at her with the most saddest eyes, the color of his eyes slowly fainting by the light of the moon.

“If you die...” He started, stopping her movements. She frowned her eyebrows, looking back at him with fierce.

“Don’t say that. I’m not going to die. I’m not planning on doing so. My plan is to finish this war with Eren and those idiots, and then... we’ll retire in a cabin in the woods. We’ll have lots of kids. I’m still young, I can have at least 7 kids. Don’t you think?” She chuckled, Levi loving so much her action.

When was the last time he felt so affected by the emotions of another person? She had him wrapped on her fingers and yet he couldn’t do anything about that. He didn’t know the feelings he was going through. He didn’t understood what this new emotion was.

Was it really love like the books in the library described?

Was it the love Hange so furiously told him about when they stayed up almost all night drinking with Erwin and Mike?

Was love the past arrangement Erwin had with Nile’s wife?

Or was it that anxious feeling of seeing someone for the first time and noticing how beautiful they were?

He couldn’t decipher anything even if they were together. He was confused with all those emotions flowing into him. From the beginning, in his childhood, he never got to experience love and affection. Farlan and Isabel gave him affection, that friendship, and he learned from that. From Erwin he went through companionship, same with his squad, Hange and Mike. He understood those feelings; he already battled those and lost. Levi knew death, despair, loneliness, sadness; he knew all of those and yet he never once understood love.

She changed those thoughts so easily it scared him.

“You would look so beautiful holding our baby...” Her smile made Levi weak to the knees. How couldn’t he have fallen for her? “My plan is for us to be together until we are old and we decay with time. I want this to be over so we can be happy. What do you think?”

“...” Levi couldn’t say anything. If something he learned from all those years of loneliness and misery, it was to never dream too much. He wanted to live in the present because every time he thought things were alright something ended up wrong.

“Levi?” She looked so worried for him, letting her knees touch the grass in front of Levi.

His hands immediately hold her elbows, not wanting her to get on her knees and get her pants dirty just for him. Yet, she didn’t cared, only pushing away his hands a little bit to not make him feel bad.

“Talk to me, Ackerman.” Her voice soothes him. How many times has he loved hearing her call his name or just say anything in general?

He didn’t wanted to admit it, but having her near him, breathing, laughing, talking, whispering, singing... made him sleep so good for the first time. He finally let go of the worries in her arms and slowly pacified his urges of ending thing. Whenever he could sleep with her, he felt like the world didn’t needed to end just yet. Sleeping with her seemed like the only medicine he needed for days full of regret.

Either way, with those thoughts in his head while he stared down at the girl he profoundly fell for, he couldn’t let himself be like her.

Levi was the opposite of her. Down to earth, cold, and with secrets nobody needed to know. She was an open book, imaginative and lovable. He just didn’t wanted her to feel bad for saying words that could hurt her.

“This is real life, Captain. We are in a fragile situation right now in where we don’t know if tomorrow we will be alive. We live our lives to the fullest imagining that at some point we will stop and notice we fought so hard for our freedom.” Levi’s eyes connects with her, noticing how the light faded a little bit. “I can’t live in a fantasy... not when everything around me is based in reality. You are the one thing,” He stopped for a few seconds, his finger grabbing onto some of her locks. “I can’t loose.”

“You’re in bad luck, Levi, ‘cause I’m going into battle tomorrow and I promise you I will live. I won’t die yet. I can’t leave you alone.” Suddenly she pressed her forehead softly against Levi’s forehead, both of their noses slightly kissing. She closed her eyes and Levi admired her fractions.

He liked her so much.

She was the only reason why he hasn’t indulge into the darkness and end his life right there.

His fingers pressed her locks behind her ear, some of the hair covering his face and hers. She giggled at the humble actions of the man she loved with all her life. He continues to push her hair behind her ears, slowly passing his fingertips on her earlobe.

“Don’t die on me, brat. Keep fighting.” His whisper made her eyes crystallize. She felt the feelings behind those words. He wanted her to continue living even if he didn’t made it through another day.

She shook her head, the hairs from behind her ear falling back on her face as she pulled away from him.

Her hands locked onto his, pressing them on her chest tightly, a little careful of Levi’s bandage hand missing two of his fingers.

“No. Don’t YOU die on me, Levi. I want you to live and fulfill my wish with me. I want you to wake up tomorrow ready to battle and do everything it takes to come back into my arms. Many will die; death is inevitable, yet I’ll be here always. I want you to survive because you deserve to. I know how much you await death. You’ve been waiting for so long to feel it. The grass on your fingers, the blood gushing out of your mouth and the pain. But, Levi, I assure you, nothing is better than living the moment. Nothing will be better than this moment. You and me... finally together. I won’t let you die, Levi. We will have each other’s back. But you will survive even if it means me saving you over and over. I won’t let you fall into a darkness you won’t ever go out. I’ll light up your path every time you see it darken. I’ll keep the light up every time the wind tries to blow it. I’ll be here for you... until death do us apart.” Her eyes quickly tried to gush out the feelings, but the feelings were already dripping down her face.

Levi couldn’t stop himself anymore. He grabbed her cheek, pulled her up a little to be at the same height as him and pushed his lips against hers.

Her lips danced slowly on his, taking almost all the control of the kiss. Even if they were together for so long, Levi didn’t know a lot of things couple usually did. He didn’t know how to kiss, how to compliment, how to touch, how to love. Yet, she didn’t care for those small details. Being near her lover solely made her live happily.

Their lips continued to stick together, Levi wanting so hard to not let go. Maybe he didn’t wanted to let go because he wanted to love the moment like she told him to do; or maybe he felt the need to kiss her one last time just in case something bad happened.

Her hands touched Levi’s cheek, rubbing her fingertips on his cheek. He felt the cold round of tears pressing on his face, sticking them.

Breaking the kiss with a subtle movement, Levi gazed at her up and down, taking a mental picture of his lover for future references. For when the battle came, he could keep calm and fight dedicating his heart.

“Don’t cry, idiot.” He rolled her tear off her face with his right thumb. She nodded quickly, wiping her face with her long sleeve shirt.

“Promise me, Levi... we will fulfill my dream? Just promise me that.” His hand pressing on her cheek, she shoved it even closer to her.

He couldn’t promise that. He just couldn’t. Levi didn’t know if he was going to survive. The situation was getting dangerous and if everything went south, he would have to sacrifice himself to save the others. He needed to give them a future, Levi already fought enough, lived enough.

But now he had her... Now he was supposed to live to keep her by his side. He needed to survive. Yet, he just couldn’t say that to her. He wasn’t very good with words. Showing actions and taking actions was his forte.

The moon shined on them once again, the lighting in his eyes finally shinning again, the back of her head being lightened by the moon as well.

He wanted to live for her.

“I promise.” He mumbled, watching her shriek and throw herself on him, almost pushing both of them back into the ground.

She flowered him with kisses all over his face, being extremely careful of his eye and scar.

“I love you, Levi. Thank you. I’ll keep you safe.” Those words brought him so much joy. An emotion he hasn’t felt at all in his life, yet he was purely in love with this woman and he was going to make her happy.

“Me too, Captain.”

————————————

“Papa, papa, papa!” A little kid, around 6 years old with short dark hair and beautiful grey eyes threw himself at Levi. He catches him almost in midair and makes him sit on his arm and waist.

“What is it, Teo? I’ve told you to not interrupt me while I’m working.” The little kid shrugs his shoulders and purposely hides his face on Levi’s chest.

Levi noticed by the corner of his eye the little girl standing near the door, half of her face looking at him and the kid.

“Alora doesn’t want to play with me and I feel lonely.” His voice makes Levi tremble gently. Who would have thought that the Captain of the Survey Corps was going to be swayed by the adorable side of his older child?

“Alora, come here.” He turns around to the door, the little girl holding onto a dark teddy bear that hanged on her right hand and kept being swept on the floor.

She walked in with her face looking down on the floor. Alora couldn’t lie about it, she was almost scared of her father. He was always so quiet and cold; while she was the opposite. She was curious, a shining sun wherever she went, and a beautiful, intelligent little girl. With only 4 years old she already knew how to do basic math (something her mother continuously felt proud of and mentioned every time).

Levi looked down on her and gently squatted down with Teo on his arms, leading him to stand up on the floor.

Pressing his hand on Alora’s black, long soft hair that fell until her lower back and was tightly put in a ponytail, he smiled at her. Alora looked at her father and smiled back, loving those moments with him.

“Alora, would you like to play with your brother for a little while? Papa has some work to do, but once I’m done I’ll play with both of you. Anything that you want, I’ll play it.” He kept smiling, watching the kids as they celebrated that their dad was finally going to give them some attention. “Go play, kids.”

The kids rushed through the door, running into their rooms to play and have fun with each other.

Letting out a small sigh, Levi got up and sat down on his chair again. He still couldn’t believe he was a father of two children that made his life a whole heaven and a living hell as well.

A knock on the door caught him slightly by surprise, turning his attention towards now the person standing at the door.

He stared up and down at his wife, and how the dress made her look so irresistibly gorgeous.

She smiled at him and entered the room without invitation. Holding on her back for support, or for pain, she finally stood next to him. A hand pressed on Levi’s left shoulder, making Levi close his eyes and sigh again, loving so much her touch.

“You must be exhausted, Levi. Are you sure you can’t just finish this later? I could really use a massage, you know.” She leaned down a little bit, rubbing her nose on his cheek and ear.

“I have to finish today. I’ll be done soon.” Sighing once again, he let go of his desire to stop working and just let her shower him in affection and love.

“You’re so tense, dear.” Her hands touched his shoulders and made pressure on her hands to make him feel at ease. Levi’s head fell back a little bit, seeing his wife enjoying giving him all the love and attention he needed.

“Go do something else, brat. You’re always trying to make me feel good. I’m fine.” Levi pushed his body upwards, breaking the contact of her hands on his shoulders. She chuckled, understanding that Levi didn’t wanted to feel vulnerable at the state of tension he was in.

“Alright, Captain.” She makes the old salute, making Levi tremble at the sight. Even so, she continues to smile, leaning down on him to kiss him on the lips real quick.

“Tsk... idiot.” As soon as he said that, his body lay back at the chair, resting himself on it as he watched his wife walk away with a smile.

As soon as he heard his wife say dinner was ready, his body immediately got up and walked to the living room, seeing how the kids ran to the table. Getting from behind Alora, he helped her get on the chair. Giving her a short smile, Levi sat down at his respective chair, not having any other option than watching his wife put the plates and utensils at the table.

Levi always loved watching his wife do housework. He was a clean freak, and noticing how she always tried her best to keep everything tidy up and clean, made him love her even more. It wasn’t rude or anything, Levi helped a lot in the chores, helping whenever he wasn’t doing his own work.

“You’re slacking off, Levi.” She smiled, putting down the utensils next to his plate. He looked up at her, and her eyes shined to him. God, he could loose himself with just a stare.

“I’m tired.” He said with a sigh, resting on the chair.

“You could finish up quickly, papa.” Teo’s small voice makes Levi smile. His ear rings to that voice and he just enjoy his son’s voice.

“Yes, papa. You have to play with us.” Alora smiles while her mother pours some food on her plate.

“I know, kids.” His wife presses her thumbs to Levi’s nape, slowly rubbing it.

“Papa will be busy, but I’m sure he’ll take some time to play with you, kids. Right, darling?” Levi lets his neck fall back a little bit and looks up at her staring into his eyes. A faint blush covers his cheeks and he tries his best to hide it, yet she already notices.

“Yeah.” Mumbles, staring down at the food that was being served.

After they finished eating, Levi went back to his studio, trying as fast as he could to finish his work.

With a loud sigh, he finally finished doing all the things he had to do. He got up the chair, stretched his back and walked over to the room in where the kids were playing.

Standing on the entrance of the room, Levi let his back touch the wall and just decided to stare for a little bit at the kids giggling and playing.

He never had a childhood like that. All he knew while growing up was self defense. He knew how to stab, how to kill, how to defend himself. Levi didn’t know what other feelings were. The emotions he was feeling right now while watching his daughter show him her doll and his son the little train he got for his birthday, he didn’t know what that was called.

Knowing well enough how to battle an enemy, Levi never thought he would have to be fighting himself over and over in the future. He thought, maybe, after marrying her and starting a new life he would stop all those thoughts. And he did stop those thoughts. The birth of Teo brought into his life a whole new meaning that he didn’t know he needed so much.

Levi found love.

“Papa, papa! Come! Play with us.” The little girl’s voice shook him out of his thoughts. Looking up and down at her, he smiled, walking over to them and joining their small party.

Levi tucked both kids into bed. He wore them out enough for them to be knocked down cold into a huge sleep. Sliding the blanket over Teo and Alora, Levi kissed their small little forehead. If Erwin saw him right now he would have been surprised at the sight of weakness Levi was showing. “What would he say about this?”, Levi thought while staring down at the little girl holding tight her small bear. Nevertheless, Levi didn’t care. All he cared about were those kids and his wife. Erwin was long gone and he knew that if he saw that, Erwin would have been so proud of him. Levi found exactly what Erwin wanted for him, and what he wanted as well. No thoughts would change his mind on what his ex-Commander and best friend would have thought in that situation. Erwin would have been happy.

Turning off the light, Levi closed the door to the room and walked over to the room he shared with his wife.

And there she was, looking over at the door in wait for her husband. She smiled, opening her arms so she could get Levi next to her.

“Tsk. You’re a needy brat.” He crossed his arms, but still walked up to her. She grabs his hand and detangle them from his chest. Bringing him close to her, making him sit down on the bed, she gently pressed his hand on her belly.

Levi felt a knock, a kick, that startled him a lot. A life was in there. His next child was there. Levi finally understood that feeling. He felt it when Teo came the first time and when Alora also came. The feeling of being alive.

“It keeps kicking. It’s so funny.” She whispers near Levi’s shoulder, letting her head fall on his shoulder.

“He wants to kill you. I’ll kill him if he comes out like the other two. Disorganized and dirty.” His comment makes her laugh and Levi has no other option than to enjoy it. He wanted to record that in his mind forever. Her voice and her laugh.

“You silly... They are only like that because you let them be. I remember when I was a Captain and every time I saw you, you were scolding the cadets for leaving dirt everywhere.” She makes him remember, and he just snickers. He really was a strict Captain. And still, he always got the job done.

“I lived so long in dirty and dark places... I didn’t wanted HQ to be the same.” After he finishes talking, he feels another kick, letting go of a small smile.

“The HQ was bland. It was colorless. It reek of death and broken dreams. I didn’t like that so much.” She closes her eyes and rubs Levi’s hand over her belly.

“We didn’t have time to be thinking of colors. We were always living in a die or live situation.” She nods on his shoulder.

“I agree.”

“We should head to bed.” Levi mumbles again, not wanting to take his hand away from her belly or the warmth of her hand on his.

“Mhmm... let’s stay like this for a little while more. I missed your scent.” Her whisper makes Levi shiver, yet he only lets a small grunt come out of his throat, responding to her.

The small shallow breaths she was taking, the thumb rubbing on his hand, her hair falling on his shoulder and her thighs pressing on him made Levi so renewed. At the end of the day, all the tiredness faded away when she was there with him.

He knew she had her eyes closed, she was just resting on his shoulder. Yet, he wanted to look at her, kiss her, hold her, do everything he could think of even if she had a belly growing up. She has done so much for him and continues to do so by loving him every single day of their lives.

Levi slowly pulled his hand away from her belly and her, but now press it on her cheek. She opened her eyes and leaned back from his shoulder, now staring at him with bags under her eyes.

She was fucking stunning even when she was tired.

Letting his fingers roam from her cheek to her ear, pushing the hair to the back of her neck and ear; Levi cut the distance between each other and kisses her. Slowly, shaking and almost afraid of being too aggressive even if he wasn’t. Her hand found Levi’s shirt and gripped it. He pressed his other hand on her cheek and hold her face steady for him to kiss her better. Licking on her lip slowly, he went back and devoured her lips once again, showing off his dominating side.

Hearing her small moan, he let go of her. Staring deeply into her eyes, the small faint blush on her cheeks made him smirk. He loved making her flustered.

Slowly, but surely, Levi pressed his nose against her nose and gave her a lovely Eskimo kiss.

“I love you, Captain.” She said first, leaving him speechless once again like always.

He stared at her up and down, watching her completely. She always had this effect on him. Not for nothing they were married. Even so, Levi couldn’t be so easily frank like her. He loved her, but saying it was so difficult for him. Yet, when seeing her eyes shine the same way it did when they kissed for the first time, Levi couldn’t let her be disappointed on himself. He loved this woman with all of his life.

The woman who saved his life.

“I love you, too, (Y/N).”

————————————

“I’M NOT LEAVING HIM BEHIND, JEAN!!!!” The small faint voices of a girl during a silent world, were being simply shouted against the noise.

“We have to leave. We need to help Armin and Mikasa. If you stay here, we’ll be loosing you too, Captain. Please, reason with me here. We already lost Connie and Reiner is seriously injured. We need you.” Jean tried his best to reason with the girl who fearlessly continued to cry and shout at the tall man.

“NO!!! I CAN’T LEAVE HIM!!” She cries out, her tears falling in Jean’s arms and onto the floor.

“I understand, Captain. But Captain Levi wouldn’t want you to stay here and do nothing. We must continue to fulfill his wish and save the world. Please...” He couldn’t hold her anymore. She kept screaming while trying to push Jean away so she could hold her lover’s body on her arms. “CAPTAIN, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!”

He let go of her and she fell on her knees, scrapping them against the rocks and sand. Yet, it didn’t hurt. Her body was numb to the exterior damage. She just couldn’t react to any of that. All she could do was cry and cry and keep crying.

Her body crawled closed to her lover’s body and she grabbed his bloody hand.

When did that happened? How did it happened? Where was she? How did she let that happen?

She kept questioning herself over and over again into the smallest details. Levi’s death was upon her and she couldn’t help but blame herself.

Levi’s soulless body was laying on the ground, his left arm missing and his left leg. He was not coming back from this one and she knew it. After everything she promised. After everything she tried to do to keep him safe, she failed every and each of those promises.

“Wake up, Levi... Yo-You... you promised... You pro-promised we were going to live. You promised ME you were going to live. You promised, you promised, you promised... YOU PROMISED!!!” Her shouts could be heard all over the quiet ambient. Jean let some tears fall down as well, his head falling forward to not be seen weak.

She grabbed Levi’s body and got him close to her, pushing his face near her and sobbing. Tears falling down on Levi’s face, almost washing away the dirt and the blood. She just couldn’t believe that was happening. Levi was actually dead, his body resting on her arms.

“You promised... we were going to have kids... and live happy in a little house on the woods! We were going to raise our children the way they never raised us. Please... please... Levi, please, I love you. Don’t go... don’t leave me!”

The sound of her sobbing suddenly were muffled by extremely loud crashing sounds.

Jean looked over to where the sound came and his eyes became plates. He quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her forcefully, making her shriek and cry harder.

“Captain, Armin is in trouble. We need you. I know it hurts. I know you and Levi had dreams. But right now, if you don’t stand and get your shit together, everything that Captain Levi fought for will be for nothing! DEDICATE YOUR HEART!” Her red face and covered with tears, dust and blood suddenly came to a halt.

Levi wouldn’t wanted her to be like this and not in that moment. She gazed at Levi’s body on the floor one last time, got closed to it, kneeled down and after crying out her last tears, she gave him a farewell kiss.

She wiped her tears off and got up, her face drastically changing to pure anger.

“Let’s save humanity, Jean. DEDICATE YOUR HEART, SOLDIER!!”

The End

Thank you so much for reading.

Have a good day or night, darling. 🥰

[hercleverboy]

the waiting room

spencer reid x fem!reader

summary ↠ the three times Y/N waited for spencer, and the one time he waited for her. (based off of this blurb)

category ↠ angst

warnings/includes ↠ mentions of death as a result of potential illness, spencer’s headaches, mri scans, swearing,  indefinite ending. 

word count ↠ 2.9k

dedicating this one to two of the literal loves of my life, @voidsfilm + @ellesgreenaway ♡

“What is stronger than the human heart, which shatters over and over and still lives.” — Rupi Kaur

Spencer had always hated hospitals.

He found it so conflicting, how a place could hold so much hope for life and promise for the future, and yet also hold so much heartbreak and despair and agony.

The strong disinfectant smell wasn’t his favourite thing, either. He hated how the bright lights always irritated his eyes, and how the hallways all just looked the same, so bleak and lifeless.

Most of all, he hated the waiting room. 

The navy-blue carpet that lined the floors, wooden chairs that were always, without fail, extremely uncomfortable to sit in. The way that nurses and doctors would walk past the room, eyes full of pity and sorrow. With his job, he’d seen more waiting rooms than he would’ve liked. He spent more time than he wanted to in hospitals, talking to victims’ families, and even sometimes having to witness them receive such heartbreaking news. On one or two occasions, he’d even had to be the bearer of bad news himself, the one who had to tell expectant family that their loved one was gone. It only added to the list of reasons why he despised hospitals.

Then there was the other side of the coin. He took frequent trips to the hospital, but unfortunately more oftenly as a patient than an FBI agent. He wouldn’t say he was reckless, but he didn’t exactly put much value on his life. Or at least, he never used to. He figured it was because he was the only one on the team without a family to come home to, without people who were dependent on him. And so, if it came down to it, he would willing take off his Kevlar vest and put down his weapon while talking down a gun-wielding unsub. Of course, he’d get the third degree from Hotch later, but he could live with that. And then he met Y/N, and he realised that now he had someone counting on him, someone waiting for him to come back home to them, he couldn’t afford to be so careless in the field.

Though sometimes, despite Spencer’s best attempts, things still went wrong. Y/N had seen the inside of the hospital waiting room more than most, often because she’d get called by one of his team mates to alert her that he’d been injured in the field. And without him ever asking, she’d drop everything to be there for him, even if it was his own stupidity that had landed him in those situations. 

The first time was after he’d been shot in the knee. Y/N had been midway through her workday when she’d received a call from JJ telling her that Spencer had been injured. She knew that it was only a leg wound, that he would be absolutely fine, but that didn’t stop her from being worried. She’d been sat in the waiting room, waiting anxiously for a nurse to come by and update her. 

As soon as she got the all clear to see him, she’d breathed out a sigh of relief and made her way to his room,  catching his attention as soon as she entered.

He gave her a tight-lipped smile, grimacing slightly at the pain shooting through his leg. “Hi.” 

She chuckled at that, moving to stand at his bedside. “Hi baby, how are you feeling?” 

“I’m ok.” He smiled, reaching up to tightly grasp one of her hands in his. “You didn’t have to come all the way down here, you know.” 

“Oh, stop.” She mumbled with a smile. “You know how much I worry about you.” 

He grinned at that, the warm feeling that he always got when he was with her spreading through him. He used the grip he had on her hand to pull her down to him, so his lips could meet hers in a sweet kiss. “Hotch has demanded I take some time off to rest, or whatever.” He murmured against her lips. “So, I’m all yours.” 

“Hmm, and what you mean by that is that you need someone to take care of you at home for a few days?” 

“Well, I did get shot in the leg, you know. Taking down the bad guy...” He gestured to his bandaged-up knee, a pout on his pretty pink lips. 

She let out a laugh at that, amused. “Alright, Superman. Let’s get you home, shall we?” 

The next time Y/N found herself in the hospital waiting room was a year later, when Spencer had been suffering from painful, unexplainable headaches. 

Initially, Spencer hadn’t wanted her to attend his MRI scan appointment, but it didn’t take much convincing for her to assure him that she wanted to be there for him. He’d held her hand in a vice-like grip on the drive to the hospital, only letting go when the nurse called his name to tell him they were ready for him. She’d kissed the back of his hand before he’d left, a whispered promise leaving her lips before he went, “I’ll be right here waiting.”

She looked around the empty waiting room, took note of its greying walls and stained carpet, and how awfully uncomfortable the chairs were. She thought of anything and everything that could distract her from the way she was feeling at that moment- knowing how scared her boyfriend was that there was something was wrong with him. 

Spencer came back to the waiting room an hour later, both relieved to see that his girl was indeed still waiting for him but frustrated with what little the doctor had told him. 

“Hey!” Y/N sat up straighter, putting on a smile for the sake of her boyfriend. “How’d it go?” 

Spencer just shook his head. “He says there’s nothing physically wrong with me. He suggested I should consider that it’s something more mental, but he’s wrong- he’s wrong, Y/N.” He sat down in the chair next to her, seeking comfort in her arms as he whimpered into the crook of her neck. “I’m not- I’m not crazy, am I?” 

And the truth was, she didn’t know. She was so afraid for him, worried that he was sick, dying, perhaps of something that the doctors hadn’t detected yet. It terrified her. Her hands ran up and down the expanse of his back, attempting to soothe his weeps the best that she could. Spencer grabbed fistfuls of the back of her shirt and breathed in the scent of her hair as deeply as he could to try and ground himself.

“I’m scared, Y/N.” 

That broke her heart to hear, but all she could do was nod in understanding, hoping her words would offer him some form of comfort. “I know, I know. We’ll figure this out, ok? Everything is going to be alright.” 

The next time Y/N inside of a waiting room was on what she could only refer to as the worst night of her life.

There were no words that could encompass the plethora of emotions she went through when she’d received a phone call from JJ, “Spencer has been shot. It’s- It’s pretty bad, Y/N. You need to come quickly.” 

When she got to the waiting room, she saw JJ and Alex sat opposite one another, a worry that made Y/N’s stomach sink on both their faces. She hurried towards them, tears blurring her vision. “Have you had any updates? Is he ok?” 

JJ looked up, shaking her head sadly. 

“What happened?” Y/N asked, her voice wavering. 

“He got shot in the neck. He pushed me out of the way.” Alex sighed, as though she was still in disbelief that he’d done that to save her. 

Y/N stared ahead in shock, dropping down into the seat beside Alex. Of course, of course, Spencer would risk his life to protect Alex. Y/N knew how fond he was of his colleague, how he idolised her, saw her as a sort of mother figure, even. 

Eventually JJ got called back to work, with Alex insisting that she’d stay with Y/N and wait for Spencer to wake. 

Y/N was so sick and fucking tired of the waiting room. Before, she hadn’t minded it, it had even bought a sense of comfort to her- because she was in a hospital, where they saved lives. But now? The familiar walls and dull navy-blue carpet made her feel nauseous. Not knowing whether her boyfriend was going to live or die was incomparable to any other time she’d found herself waiting in the same four walls. She was feeling everything and nothing all at once, she wanted to cry and scream, curse the universe for once again hurting a man that had done nothing in his life but protect others. Hell, part of her even wanted to laugh- laugh at the absurdity of the situation. If he died, - god, if he died - the world would’ve robbed him of a lifetime with her, the chance to live the life that he deserved.

She barely registered that Alex had left her side to bring her a coffee until she sat back down beside her. Y/N looked over at her, giving her a small smile as she gratefully accepted the coffee. 

Y/N brought the cup to her lips, relishing in how the hot liquid brought her a sense of warmth, and she wondered if she’d ever feel Spencer’s warmth again. She sucked in a shaky breath, speaking the first words she’d said in all the hours they’d been waiting. “You know he wants kids?” 

Alex looked over at her, sad smile tugging at her lips. “I do.” 

Y/N nodded, sniffing. “He’d be a phenomenal father.” 

“He would.” 

Y/N let out a small cry, trying desperately to hold herself together. “What if I never get the chance to give him that, Alex?” She cried, body finally giving in to the painful ache that consumed her entire being. 

Alex placed an arm around her, allowing the younger woman to lean on her shoulder for support. “You’ll get the chance. Spencer is strong, he’ll pull through.”

And sure enough, Alex had been right. When Y/N had been told he was awake, she couldn’t describe the relief that flooded her. After meeting Penelope in the hallway and being given a much-needed hug, she took a few deep breaths before walking into Spencer’s room. When her eyes landed on him, she felt the tears start to well again. She had to remind herself that despite the bandage on his neck and the numerous machines hooked up to him, he was there, and he was alive. 

She came towards him with the best smile she could muster, and he looked up at her with a drowsy smile.

“Hi.” She whispered, standing beside his bed. 

He grinned up at her, reaching out for her hand just like he always did. “Hi.” 

She squeezed his hand gently, reminding herself again that he was ok, though she couldn’t prevent the tears that began to tremble down her cheeks. 

Spencer’s heart throbbed at the sight, and he allowed himself to imagine the pain she must’ve been through, having to wait for hours to see if he was alive. He wouldn’t wish that on anyone, especially not the woman he loved more than anything else. “It’s alright, sweet girl. I’m alright.” He promised, wishing more than anything that he could pull her into his arms and soothe her, though the pain in his neck prevented him from doing so. 

“I could’ve lost you.” She whimpered, her other hand coming out to delicately trace the side of his face. 

“I’m right here.” He gave her hand three squeezes just to emphasise his point. 

She leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to his forehead. “You can’t ever scare me like that again.” 

Spencer chuckled lowly, nodding. “Yes ma’am.” 

“Promise me?” 

And though it was a promise they both knew he couldn’t keep, he granted her the reassurance that she craved. 

“I promise.” 

Y/N knew that wasn’t the last time she’d be sat in the waiting room, scared and anxious and hoping that the love of her life was ok. She knew there would always be a ‘next time’, no matter how many self-serving promises she asked Spencer to make. What she didn’t plan for, was that the next time she saw the inside of a hospital, it would be her fighting for her life. 

It had been a slow day at work for Spencer, with him managing to complete a majority of his withstanding paperwork. He sat at his desk, focused on how he twirled his pen between his fingertips, willing the clock to move faster so he could go back home when his phone rang, Y/N’s name flashing across the screen. 

He answered eagerly, though all eagerness was wiped away when it wasn’t her voice on the other end of the line. 

“Hi there, I’m looking for a Dr Spencer Reid?” 

Spencer’s mind raced, and he swallowed thickly before squeaking out an answer. “That’s me.” 

“I’m calling on behalf of Y/N Y/L/N, you’re registered as her emergency contact.” 

“Is she ok?” He croaked out, begging and pleading internally that all the worst-case scenario’s running through his head wouldn’t come to fruition. 

“She was involved in a severe road collision. You’re going to want to come down here-”

Everything past that was drowned out by the sound of Spencer’s heart beating quicker, so loudly he could hear it. He hung up, gathering his things together as quickly as he could and rushing toward the doors of the bullpen- running directly into one Derek Morgan. 

“Woah, easy there, kid. You got somewhere to be?” He joked at first, but erased all hints of a smile from his face when he saw the tears filling the younger man’s eyes. “What’s going on? Talk to me.” 

Spencer couldn’t form a sentence, only managing to splutter out a few barely strung together words. “It’s Y/N, she’s- she’s been in an a-accident and I need, I have to get to her.” 

Morgan’s eyes widened, nodding in understanding. “Alright, ok. You’re in no condition to be driving, let me take you.” 

Spencer wasn’t about to argue, already making his way toward the elevator. 

*

Spencer had always hated hospitals. 

But he’d also decided that he really fucking hated the waiting room. 

The doctors didn’t have any updates for him, no matter how many times he asked. So, he’d been forced to sit in that damned room and wait. 

He thought of how cruel the concept of the waiting room was. Waiting for either good or bad news, waiting to hear the words that would either fill him with relief or dread, signify the start of his life or the end. How cruel was it that people had to sit and wait, with the weight of the world on their shoulders and just hope their loved one was ok? 

With the first hour brought Spencer’s upset, tears trembling down rosy cheeks and whimpered words of disbelief that he could lose the woman he loved. He’d sat in the uncomfortable blue chair with his head in his hands as sobs wrecked through his body, with Morgan sat next to him, a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

The second hour brought with it a slither of hope, as a doctor came out to update them. Though it wasn’t good nor bad news, just that Y/N was still in surgery and was expected to be so for the next few hours. Spencer had again buried his head in his hands, his thoughts racing. The rest of the team arrived, joining the sombre atmosphere of the waiting room. 

The third hour saw Spencer grow agitated, angry with himself for not being with her, for not protecting her, despite how many times the team attempted to reassure him that there was nothing he could’ve done differently. They brought him cups of coffee with gentle reassurances, empty promises that Y/N would be fine, that she would pull through, but how could they possibly know that? 

In the fourth hour, Spencer sat staring blankly at the wall. He reminded himself of the future he’d dreamt of time and time again, and how he couldn’t imagine himself having that life with anyone else but her. He recalled the location of the velvet purple box he’d bought just a few months prior, hidden amongst pairs of his mismatched socks in the second drawer of his nightstand. What if he never got the chance to propose? To give her the life that he’d promised her time and time again when it was 3am and he was holding the love his life as close to his chest as he could get her. After all he’d done, the years of his life he’d given to helping to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves, this was the thanks he got? What a sick twist of fate that was. 

By the fifth hour, he was exhausted. His eyes drooped but he fought to keep them open, choosing to ignore the pitiful looks JJ shot him when she saw him fighting sleep. He would wait for her, just like all the times she had waited for him. He recognised how the way that he felt must’ve been how Y/N had felt after he’d been shot the year before, and the thought almost made him sick. He ran over all the possible outcomes in his head, allowing his eyes to close for a single moment as he mentally calculated the statistical probabilities of each outcome. He despised how helpless he felt. For a man whose job was to help others in need, he’d never been a position before where he didn’t have the answer, where he couldn’t come up with a solution. His heart ached as the realisation that he could very well lose her settled over him, the statistic he’d calculated of her survival being a number that was way too low for Spencer’s liking. 

For the moment, he had no choice but to wait. 

It was all he could do. 

*

permanent taglist: @beyonces-breastmilk​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @itsmyblogandillreblogifiwantto​ @thelovelyrose​ @averyhotchner​ @cynbx​ @calm-and-doctor​ @reidyoulikeabook​ @katexrichardson​ @jemimah-b99​ @muffin-cup​ @shadyladyperfection​ @rigatonireid​ @amoeebaa​ @mggsprettygirl​  @alltooreid​ @s1utformgg @awritingtree

spencer reid taglist: @reidtome

[monamourbladie-mb]

19 Years Later... [Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader x reader miniseries]

19 years have passed since Y/n’s husband Anakin’s death, and she has become the leading General of the newly founded Rebellion alongside her past Jedi friend Obi-Wan Kenobi, now known as Ben Kenobi. When her children Luke and Leia Skywalker gets kidnapped by Darth Vader, the man who killed her husband; her and Obi-Wan Kenobi must come rescue her. But when she finds out who’s behind Darth Vader’s mask, the truth is something she never thought she had to prepare herself for.

——————

i’m so freaking excited for this fanfic, holy shit. i’ve had this idea since April 2020 and i decided to say fuck it since you guys seemed interested. i hope you enjoy it!!! get ready for an angst and sex train, cause it’s coming in hot 🥵 😏

Index:

prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2 [Coming soon]

Warnings: None

WC: 1.3k

——————

People say love is a forever thing. But for Y/n and Anakin Skywalker, their time together was cut short the day Darth Vader murdered Anakin almost 20 years ago on Mustafar.

Y/n remembered the day so vividly - it was the scariest, saddest, and all the same happiest day of her life. It was the day her twin children, Luke and Leia Skywalker, were born; and it was also the day the love of her life was killed.

Y/n didn’t remember much of that, between the two events. According to Obi-Wan Kenobi, he had said that Anakin was behind the attacks at the Jedi Temple, and the man behind the murder of countless Jedi. Y/n couldn’t bring herself that the man she was married to could do such a horrible, despicable act.

She didn’t believe it until she saw first hand his anger - the way his voice changed, how cold his gaze had become. He tried to sugarcoat his villainous words to her, speaking gently, “Obi-Wan is trying to turn you against me.”

But when he had noticed Obi-Wan was on the ship alongside Y/n, Anakin lost all sense of reality and tried killing her.

The last memory she had of seeing her future husband was tainted with fear - the sight of him angrily raising his fingers to choke his lover.

When she awoke, she felt her body give in and start to writhe from excruciating labor pains. The pain she felt throughout her back and belly, however, were nothing in comparison to the never-ending ache in her heart that started when Obi-Wan muttered the words, “Anakin is dead.”

Barely able to cling to life, Y/n was able to deliver two healthy children, whom she had named Luke and Leia. Obi held her hand gently, smiling testy eyed, “Anakin would be so happy to see his little family. I promise I’m here to support and protect the three of you.”

Tears from pain and sorrow streamed down her cheeks as she cradled Leia close to her breast, sobbing as her body shook.

He should be here. I should be squeezing his hand, not Obi’s. He should be holding his son, not Obi. I shouldn’t be a widow.

When she found out the truth about how Anakin died, she was even more torn apart. Anakin didn’t even get a chance to explain his actions at the Temple - he was murdered by a man named Darth Vader before he could repent. She lost her husband to a murderous sith lord.

Obi-Wan took it upon himself to take care of Y/n, Luke, and Leia and got them a home on Tattooine. He knew that Y/n was never good on her own - even though she was a Jedi, she hated being alone. So he stayed with them, helping her raise Luke and Leia with just the two of them.

Knowing they were a target from Darth Vader, Obi-Wan knew that they’d had to change their names. He changed his to Ben Kenobi, a nickname an old lover gave him; and Y/n changed her name to Cecelia Jonas, a drastic difference from Y/n Skywalker. When it was just them, they would refer to each other as their old names for old time’s sake.

Raising twins without their biological father was very, very hard. There were many nights Luke or Leia would ask about their beloved late father, causing her to get teary-eyed remembering.

Nights when Luke would play around with the droids, speaking with C3-PO and laughing reminded Obi and Y/n of Anakin.

Having a son who looked just like a young version of Anakin was no help to her healing heart. Yet, no matter what she swore to never remarry — her heart belonged to Anakin Skywalker, and Anakin Skywalker alone.

By now, it was 19 years since Anakin had died. The Galactic Empire was rising, and the Rebels rose in contradiction, hoping to defend the Galaxy.

Meanwhile, Darth Vader stormed around his Death Star ship in an angry stance, slicing anyone who dared to comment on his more-so than normal angry aura.

He crossed his arms, looking outside the Death Star, “What do you mean you lost the plans?” His breathing labored and heavy as usual. The mask wasn’t even needed for him — the cocky bastard just wanted to come off as more intimidating.

“Someone... someone had sold the plans. And now General Jonas-“

Vader grunted and raised his fist, beginning to force choke the man mercilessly, “Find me who sold the plans and bring them to me. I want their death slow and painful. And find me General Jonas, I want to have a chat with them.”

The man’s eye’s rolled back as his vision blackened, then he collapsed onto the floor, gasping for air.

Vader strutted off, his signature Skywalker strut all the more prominent and powerful enveloped in his robotic suit of armor.

Ever since his fall, Vader had one thing on his mind. Completing out his Master’s will so he would finally teach him how to bring people back from the dead.

Vader reached his quarters and shut the door, locking it using the force with a simple flick of his wrist. He begrudgingly walked to the bathroom, slamming the door shut and hunched over the sink, his breathing getting more rapid until the noise irritated him to let out a yell in anger.

He took off his black mask in frustration and slammed it down on the countertop, his hands gripping it’s sides so tightly he felt his flesh hand feel numb. He looked up in the mirror, his ear-length brown hair dampened down with sweat as he looked at himself in the mirror.

“Who the hell even are you,” he grumbled to himself, running his gloved fingers through his hair. He sighed heavily and shook his head, the memory of her gasping for air replaying in his mind as his anger grew, “It’s my fault. It’s my fucking fault you and our child are dead!” he yelled to no in but himself, tears beginning to prick his yellow eyes.

With shaky hands, he dipped into his pocket and took out the necklace he crafted for her all those years ago, smiling sadly down at it as he rubbed it with his thumb.

“This is all for you, my love bird. All of it, so I can bring you home to me.” His voice trailed as he kissed the necklace, putting it back in his pocket gently as he let out a heavy sigh, wiping his tears quickly.

Vader thrived on pain now. Once he found out his wife was killed by his own hand, he lost all sense of himself. Anakin died when he knelt and took Darth Vader’s name, but Anakin truly died the moment Palpatine uttered those words.

“It seems, in your anger, you killed her.”

“Shit husband I was,” he growled, putting his glove back up on his flesh hand after he glared at his wedding band.

It gave him a mixed feeling - he missed his wife dearly, but yet it was also a deadly reminder how much of a horrible man he was.

The separated couple went to bed in tears that night, wishing and praying that somehow, someway they could be reunited.

But the both of them knew the only way that would happen is if they died, which was out of the question.

So they laid there awake in agony, their heart crying out to be reunited with their lover once more.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Touch - p.p

chapter two: the dance

synopsis: you love him, but you can never touch him

Series Masterlist and Regular Masterlist

The day after the confession in the kitchen, the Avengers were sent on an emergency to mission in Alaska. You’d normally sit next to Peter on the jet, but you decided to give him his distance. There was an icy tension between the two of you ever since you spoke of the dance you’d been doing, something you wished would remain unspoken.

You looked at Peter and let out a sigh before getting off the jet and taking your place next to Steve. Tony stood in front of the team and rubbed his hands.

“Banner and Romanoff, stay on the main floor and contain the damage. Rogers, I want you on the west side. Try to minimize the amount of flying monkeys that get in. Bert and Ernie, you two go to the basement and try to turn off the power.”

You felt your heart sink as you and Peter were assigned to stay together. You looked at him and gave him a tight smile, but the eyes on his mask told you he was looking away.

“Yes, sir.” You nodded, fighting the urge to cry. Knowing that he felt the same was much worse than wondering if he reciprocated your feelings. Now that you knew, all you felt was pain.

You and Peter headed towards the basement in silence and you hoped it would stay that way. Peter’s head was going a million miles an hour, the mission long gone from his mind.

“Are we gonna talk about what happened between us?” He blurted, making your chest tighten.

“Nothing happened between us.” You said simply, hoping he would take the hint to drop it.

“I know.” He stopped walking. “That’s the problem.”

You stopped too, looking around before walking up to Peter.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You mumbled. “We gotta focus on the mission, okay?”

“I can’t focus on anything anymore.” Peter laughed sadly. “Only you.”

“Peter.” You whimpered as he stepped closer to you. He raised a hand and brushed it against your cheek, and you let it linger. You leaned into his touch and looked in his eyes before yours widened in fear.

“Behind you.”

As soon as Peter turned around, he got punched in the face. You immediately jumped to his defense and fought off the intruder, but three more piled in. You and Peter fought back to back, punching and kicking at whoever came near you. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a man run out of the room with a ring of keys and let out a sigh. Peter clocked it too and looked at you.

“He had the keys to turn the power off.” He called out. “He can’t get away.”

“I’ll go get him.” You called back before running out of the room. You chased the man down and kicked him in the face, catching the keys when the flew out of his hands. He tried to get up so you put a hand on his chest and released pain into his body, making him collapse again. You smiled proudly as you ran back to the room where Peter was, freezing in your place at what you saw.

The first thing you noticed was that all the men were gone. As your eyes searched the room, they landed on Peter, who was lying on the floor. His mask was off, but what really stood out to you was the giant pipe in his chest.

“Hey, peaches.” He smiled weakly at you as blood spilled out of his mouth.

“What happened?” You swallowed gravely as you knelt down beside him. Your heart was pounding in your ears as you watched your best friends blood leave his body.

“I’ve been impaled.” Peter laughed as he touched the entry wound, craning his neck to see how bad he was. Once he saw it, he let out another laugh that made his blood gurgle in his throat.

“Peter.” You whispered as hot tears streamed down your face. You reached forward but he swatted your hands away to the best of his ability.

“Wait. Don’t touch me.” He croaked. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Well I can’t just watch you die.” You shouted as you tried to touch him again.

“Please. Don’t.” He begged as he pushed you away. “You don’t know what it’ll do.”

“But I know what will happen if I don’t, and that’s not an option I’m willing to entertain.” You shook your head as you reached for him once again.

“Please.” Peter pleaded. “Don’t.”

If the situation were different, you’d laugh at the fact he was begging you not to touch him the day after he told you how much it hurt him that you didn’t touch him.

But the situation was dire, and there was no room for laughter.

“Hold still.” You instructed as you placed your hands on either side of his face.

“Y/n. Don’t.” He said weakly, the light behind his eyes beginning to dim.

“I have to.” You whimpered as a test rolled down your cheek and landed on his face. “I can’t lose you.”

Before Peter could respond, you bent down and kissed him. You drew the pain out of his body through your lips, feeling the excruciating agony he was in transferring itself into your body. As the pain grew more unbearable, you kissed him harder. Tears of anguish were rolling down your face as your veins filled with fire. You opened your eyes in time to see the wound on Peter’s chest closing, and that’s when you collapsed.

~

Your eyes fluttered open, and quickly shut, as the fluorescent hospital lighting stung them. You let them adjust by slowly opening your eyes, looking around the room as you did. You saw Peter sitting in a chair in the corner of your hospital room and tried to call out to him, but your throat was bone dry.

“Peter?” You croaked out, making him look up. You tried to sit up in bed, but the IV’s and tubes in your body made that difficult. Every fiber in your body felt sore, so you gave up on sitting up. Peter rushed to your side and knelt down beside you, almost taking you leave hand in his but deciding against it.

“Hi peaches.” He smiled softly at you. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore.” You licked your dry lips. “What time is it? Is everyone back from the mission?”

“It’s almost 4 am.” He checked his phone. “Everyone got back from the mission safely. You’ve, um, you’ve actually been out for a few days.”

“I have?” You panicked, hating that you lost time. Peters lips tightened into a frown as tears welled in his eyes, quickly looking away so you wouldn’t see.

“We weren’t sure you’d wake up.” He mumbled as he wiped his face.

“Have you been here the whole time?” You asked, knowing the answer already.

“Where else would I be but by your side?” He smiled sadly.

“Have you eaten?”

“I can’t really keep anything down.” He shook his head. “It’s hard to eat knowing my best friend is getting all her nutrients through an IV in her arm.”

“You should get something to eat.” You said gently.

“Is that really what you want to talk about?” Peter asked hoarsely as he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Well what do you want to talk about?” You tried to joke. Peter stared at you for a moment before standing up and turning his back to you, his body language telling you he was crying. After composing himself, he looked over his shoulder.

“You almost died.” He said dully before quickly looking away.

“I know.” You swallowed, feeling uneasy all of the sudden.

“Why did you do it?” He whispered. “Why did you heal me?”

“Because.”

“Because why?” He raised his voice. “I’ve been sitting here, raking my brain, trying to figure out why the smartest girl I know would make such a stupid decision. I was on the brink of death and you still took my pain. You could have died. Do you realize that? You could have died.”

You looked at Peter for a moment before letting out a laugh that lead to a cough.

“Why are you laughing?” Peter asked angrily.

“Because it’s funny.” You laughed as you rubbed your tired eyes.

“What’s funny?”

“It’s funny how you think I wouldn’t die before I lost you.” You said as your laughter died down. You and Peter looked at each other for a moment as you realized this wasn’t just a mere crush.

This was love.

“I thought you wanted to minimize the casualties.” Peter said as tears came back to his eyes. Tears stung at your own eyes as you used all your strength to call him over with your hand.

“Come here.”

Peter wordlessly went to you and knelt down beside you. You took his hand but didn’t meet his eyes, the contact being enough.

“I want you, okay?” Your voice shook as you kept your eyes down. “Don’t you dare think I don’t want you. I think about you all the time. It debilitates me. Sometimes, I can’t even breath until you’re with me.”

“Then be with me.” Peter cried, squeezing your hand tightly.

“I can’t.” You sniffled as you let go of his hand. “It’s too dangerous.”

Peter looked at his now empty hand and sucked in a sharp breath.

“So what do we do? Just continue dancing around each other?” He raised his voice. “I can’t do that anymore. I won’t.”

“I love you.” You promised. “Isn’t knowing that enough?”

“I would have you.” Peter said in defeat. “If it were enough, I would have you.”

Without another word, Peter left the room.

Two weeks later, you were able to return to the tower. Peter stopped coming to visit you in your room, but you always saw him lurking in the waiting room. You moved back into your old room and grew to miss the sound of him knocking at your door, asking you if you wanted to watch a movie. The first time you made direct eye contact since the day in the hospital happened early one morning before training.

“Hey.” You smiled sweetly at Peter as you walked into the kitchen. Your face was still a little bruised and swollen, which made it hard for Peter to look at you.

That, and the fact he couldn’t be with the girl he loved.

“Hey.” Peter responded without looking up at you. You figured he’d be upset, but you weren’t expecting the cold shoulder. You silently got out a cereal bowl and the carton of milk.

“Mind if I sit here?” You asked politely as you pointed to the sets next to Peter.

“Sure.” Peter mumbled. You put your bowl down next to Peter’s and smiled at him, but he didn’t look at you.

“You look nice.” You tried to spark conversation. “I like this shirt on you.”

“Thanks.” Peter answered dully. Your lips tightened as you felt tears threaten your eyes.

“Please don’t shut me out Peter. It’s me. It’s peaches.” You laughed sadly as you looked at him. “I know we can’t be together but we can’t still be friends.”

“How can we be friends?” He finally looked at you. “How am I supposed to be your friend when my hands twitch because they want to hold yours so badly? Are we supposed to pretend we’re not in love with in each? And just wait until that love goes away? Is that your plan?”

“You’re not being fair. I’m doing this to protect you.” You threw your spoon down angrily and got out of your seat.

“I don’t need you to protect me.” Peter shouted as he got up as well.

“Then what do you need?” You shouted in his face. Peter immediately took your face in his hands and kissed you just as passionately as the first time. You clutched his shirt to keep him as close as possible as you kissed him back with everything you had in you. He pulled away much too soon, leaving the both of you breathless.

“More of that. That’s what I need.” He panted. “Everyday, if I could.”

“I’m not gonna change my mind about this.” You shook your head sadly.

“And I’m not gonna change how I feel about you.” Peter said definitively.

“Then nothings going to change.” You whispered as a tear rolled down your cheek.

“Alright then.” Peter stepped back from you. “The dance goes on.”

@awesomebooklover17​ @thebookwormlife​ @imanativeofswlondondahling​ @weirdr-artiest​ @serendipitous-amor​ @dummiesshort​

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[fangirlings-things]

Goodbye [1/2]

➤ PART. 2

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Word count: 1.5K

Warnings: heavy angst, mentions of death

Summary: after being taken by an unsub, you are given a goodbye call and you use it to call the chief of your unit and lover, Aaron Hotchner

A/N: just a lot of angst with this man because I love him!!! let me know your thoughts and if you want me to write the second part this is supposed to have lots of love 💖

GIF IS NOT MINE || TAG LIST: @imaginesofyourfandom ; @locke-writes ; @regalbanshee

Hotch could not believe his own ears when the phone rang in the room in Oklahoma City the police had given the BAU team to use during the current investigation. Everyone had been expecting that call for 48 hours now. They knew that call would be made, because that was the signature. The signature of the killer they had been hunting.

Hotch exchanged a brief look with all the team as he walked forward towards the table were the phone was. All the others had something in their expressions that he knew probably resembled his own. Fear. He actually had to take a deep breath before pressing the button to pick up the call.

As the phone was programmed to sound on speaker, the whole team was able to hear a shallow breathing on the line. No one dared to say anything, too tense to do such a thing. But then they didn’t have to, because the person with the shallow breathing then spoke. “H-Hotch?”

It broken him. Right then and there. He did not want to believe it, he refused to. For 48 hours he had given all he had to try to solve that case in time, but hadn’t been able to. As the M.O said, the killer gave his victims one last call before finishing them. And that was happening. That was your last call and it did not surprise anyone, that you were looking for him. For you, it had always been him.

“Hotch?” your voice sounded again, weak, and that finally set him into action.

“(Y/N)?” your name seemed heavy on his tongue, like it had never before. He leaned down and pressed his hands into the surface of the table as id to hold himself up. “(Y/N), I’m here. Where are you?”

“You know I don’t know that. And if you’re asking me, I suppose you and the team don’t either” you tried to give out a little laugh, but it quickly turned into a cough. From their side of the line, Garcia pressed one of her hands to her mouth, tears already steaming down her face.

“(Y/N), anything. Anything at all that…” the leader of the unit said, the words leaving his mouth in a terrified rush.

“Aaron” the intensity of your tone and the fact that you used his first name made him go quiet on the very same instant. Around the room, no one else dared to speak. They knew you wanted Hotch, and him only. “Stop. It’s over, babe”

“No, it’s not. We can…” he began again, trying hard to keep his voice steady.

“Aaron” you spoke again, much more softly this time and it seemed as if Hotch had been slapped. He pressed his palms so hard against the table that his knuckles turned white. “This is my goodbye call. You know what this means”

“You have to remember something. Anything. Did you see…” your silence was unbearable and his voice died in his throat, tears blurring his vision and falling on the table. “I shouldn’t have sent you alone”

“You know I would have gone anyway. I lost, it’s part of the job. But you and the team will still be able to catch him” he realized you thought the others weren’t hearing your words and silently decided to leave it that way. He knew you never liked to be so exposed and fragile in front of everyone. And still, he could not ask them to leave the room. Honestly, he thought he wouldn’t be able to go through that alone. “You have to catch him, Aaron”

“I will. I promise you, I will” from the corner of his eye, he saw David pull a chair and sit down to then support his face on his hands, the sadness clear in his features. “(Y/N)…”

“I know” you said, and it made him go silent again. “I know” you repeated and the team was able to hear the change in your voice when you started to cry. “I’m really going to miss you, Aaron. God, I already do” in that moment Derek took his hands to his head and started to walk around the room, in agony. “I’m going to miss having to make you leave the office and go home. Spending the weekends with you and Jack. Falling asleep by your side on the jet” you sobbed loudly then, giving into emotion. Emily cleared her throat to stop herself from sobbing too. Hotch had to pull away from the table to take a deep breath and control his own now unregular breathing. “But above all, I’m sorry”

“What?” he asked, too confused and overwhelmed by the whole situation.

“I’m sorry for making you go through this again. I know how much your suffered because of Hailey. I never wanted you to have to…” you sobbed again. The hot tears streaming down his face seemed like a waterfall, never ending. Never stopping. “I’m so sorry”

“This is not your fault” he forced his voice to go out. He came back closer to the table and sat down on a chair merely because he felt like falling down at any moment. “You know this is not your fault”

“Still, I wanted you to know” you went silent for long moments and just when he was about to call out, your voice came back. “Can’t believe I’m not going to see everyone again. This team…” you laughed a bit and all of them could picture your smile. “I’m going to miss them all so much”

“(Y/N), anything…” Hotch grabbed into hope, wishing, craving something, anything, that would change the outcome of what was to happen.

“Tell David to don’t get married again” you interrupted, sniffing as you tried to stop crying. Talk about your co-workers made your tone sound sweeter and you felt a certain warmth in your chest. “Between the job and the idea of another divorce, he will loose it” you laughed and David laughed too silently, nodding in agreement. “Emily belongs in the BAU. She’s an amazing profiler, and an amazing friend” Prentiss closed her eyes at the compliments, feeling too deeply. “Don’t let J.J work too much. Make her go home by seven and please, if she’s overwhelmed, make her take a few days to herself” J.J by hearing you talk about her, turned around and stormed out of the room, unable to hear more. “Penelope, oh, I adore her. Thank her for all the advices, the playlists she made to cheer me up and listen on the jet. Thank her for everything” Garcia reprimanded a sob and left just like J.J had done. “Derek…” Morgan instantly stopped walking and fixed his blurry eyes on the phone, like he could see you somehow. “he is my best friend. My best friend in the entire world. Tell him I remember every laugh, moment, drink, every pizza night we had together. I wish we had more of those” Morgan really cried now, punching the closest wall with all the force he had. If you heard the sound, you did not mention it. “Spencer is the brother I never had” Reid, who sat on a chair close to Rossi, squeezed his lips on a thin line. “I love that he always have… had a new historical fact to tell me about. Seeing him trying to eat in hashis always made me laugh so hard. Tell him to visit his mother more. I know he misses her” another pause. Another sob. “I love them all. Tell them that I do. Hotch?”

“Yes?” he took the tears away from his face with the back of his right hand, feeling his chest aching. It was like he could literally feel his heart breaking.

“I love you. It took me a long time to say so, maybe too long. I wish we had more time” you sobbed again, harder, and that sound was horrifying, like it came straight out of a nightmare. “I found the ring, Aaron. On your drawer. I was only looking for a shirt and there it was… the ring” Hotch closed his eyes hardly, telling himself he wanted to wake up. He had to wake up and see that it was not real. It couldn’t be. “I would’ve said yes, Aaron. It would have definitely been a yes” and then the line went silent.

“(Y/N)?” Hotch called, but there was no answer. His breath hissed. “(Y/N), keep talking to me, babe” nothing still. “(Y/N), please, talk to me”

“Aaron” David got up from his chair and walked around the table to put a hand on his shoulder.

“Please…” he was the one who then started sobbing.

━━━━━━━━━━ × ━━━━━━━━━━

“Aaron, we need to talk” David entered the room of the station where Hotch had been alone in for hours now. As he got no response, he insisted. “Aaron?”

“Leave me alone” he said only, eyes still fixed on the phone from which he had heard your last words. Last words.

“Aaron” David said again, more seriously this time.

“What?” Hotch raised his voice, eyes dry and hurting. The tears seemed to have ended long before.

David fixed his eyes on his. “Garcia found something”

[fics-by-caroline]

Flightless Bird, American Mouth

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Fem!Reader

Summary: One-shot based around the song “Flightless Bird, American Mouth” by Iron & Wine. You and Tom return home after you deliver your stillborn baby.

Category: Angst

Word count: 923

Warnings: Mentions of infant death, unrelenting angst.

A/N: For @8m-w2 .

   The house was so quiet. Too quiet. Silence sucked the oxygen out of the air, hanging over you like a suffocating smog. The silence had been ceaseless since its shattering introduction by the lack of your baby’s newborn wails. The soundless image of your stillborn daughter drenched your eyes; her impossibly tiny form swaddled in a ivory baby blanket, patches of lanugo that hadn’t yet the chance to fall off on her skinny body, thin eyelids closed, developing fingernails on the ends of miniature fingers.

   You were jerked out of your reverie by Tom’s shudder from behind you. He lifted a shaking hand to wipe his eyes before laying his chin on the top of your head. You reached back to hold his cheek while the other covered his hand resting around your waist, your wedding bands glinting in the hallway light. A fat tear ran the course of Tom’s cheeks and landed on your head. Your own tears had run dry, though their memory was etched into your face by way of still-hot cheeks and heavy eyes.

   You felt your legs move underneath you, carrying you forwards without any conscious thought. They lifted you up the stairs, fingers grazing the wooden railing, breaths coming deeply. With each step, you felt the dull pain around your abdomen and between your legs throb through the pain medications with which you had been sent home. Where was I going? Your question would only be answered when you stood outside of the door to the prepared nursery, though which you could hear the soft music playing from a small speaker that you had forgotten to turn off before you left for the hospital. Tom, who had followed you in your daze, sensed your hesitation to turn the doorknob and opted to open the door himself.

   The room that once echoed of promise and excitement now smelled of death and loss. The overhead light was still on from when you and Tom had stood unmoving in the very same room, taking in the last few moments during which you existed as a family of three. Your eyes swept over the light yellow walls, the cushioned rocking chair, the small dresser, the stuffed animals that sat in the prepared crib. The song playing faded into nothingness, leaving the only sound in the room to be yours and Tom’s slow breaths. Then:

          I was a quick wet boy

          Diving too deep for coins

          All of your straight light eyes

          Wide on my plastic toys

   A choked cry tore its way from your throat as you recognized the opening words to the song that you would once sing to your daughter before she died. Your feet rooted instantly to the floor, waves of grief hammering through your heart. Your hands traveled to your abdomen, still rounded despite your empty uterus. You let out a tearful gasp as you turned to Tom, who immediately embraced you with a vice grip. His own body shook with sobs, hiccuping through his own tears which dampened your hair as they fell. 

          Then when the cops closed the fair

          I cut my long baby hair

          Stole me a dog eared map

          And called for you everywhere

   Your fists balled in Tom’s shirt as you cried. She was gone. Your beautiful baby girl was gone. Despite the doctors and nurses insisting that her death was no fault of your own, guilt nonetheless thundered in your ears. Had you done something wrong?

   “It wasn’t your fault,” Tom whispered, as if he could read your thoughts.

          Have I found you?

          Flightless bird, jealous, weeping

          Or lost you?

          American mouth

          Big bill looming

   Slowly, Tom began to transfer his weight from one foot to the other to the strum of the guitar. You didn’t fight him, instead letting yourself be carried by his gentle swaying. It was a dance of death and grief and hollowness and tears and fury and horror and agony and everything in between.

          Now I’m a fat house cat

          Cursing my sore blunt tongue

          Watching the warm poison rats

          Curl through the wide fence cracks

   “I wasn’t your fault either,” You said with conviction. 

   A fresh wall of tears vaulted into both of your eyes. You clutched each other even tighter as you continued to sway. For a moment, you could feel the ghost of your baby in your arms. The emptiness within you was palpable.

   “We never gave her a name,” You breathed.

   You felt Tom’s mouth open slightly. He was quiet for a moment. Then: “Leah?”

   You bowed your head. “Leah Jeanine. Leah Jeanine Hiddleston.”

   You looked at each other’s pain-stricken faces and nodded together. 

          Pissing on magazine photos

          Those fishing lures thrown in the cold and clean

          Blood of Christ mountain stream

          Have I found you?

          Flightless bird, brown hair bleeding

          Or lost you?

          American mouth

          Big bill, stuck going down

   You sang the words softly underneath your breath to the ghost of your daughter. You faltered on the last line, your knees giving out underneath you as you fully broke down into a whimpering mess of snot and salty tears. Tom joined you on the floor and held your body with gentle noises of comfort, still swaying to the closing music. As the song ended, you lay yourself onto the fluffy carpet on which you were standing and wrapped your body around Tom like a lifeline. You stayed like that for a long time, listening to the successive songs playing over the speaker, knowing that you were forever changed, forever broken. 

[anonymousfiction211]

We saw Loki watch y/n cry after his "death", let's reverse roles. Y/n runs happily to him, thinking they won, hugging him, when an arrow goes straight through her heart. He quickly catches her. He can heal her right? He tries but it's hurting her even more. All he can do is watch as his s/o died in his arms. He was going to propose to her. One last I Love You before his brother force him up. He sees her around his room, but she's not really there. He is, with that pain always in his chest.

Word count: 1.982 words Warnings: Angst and death A/N: Not going to lie, it broke my heart a little just thinking about Loki losing his s/o. Thanks for the request, hope you like it!

What’s happening? The battle was gruesome, but it was almost done. The dark elves were almost wiped from the battlefield. Luckily for Loki, cause he had big plans tonight. He became nervous just thinking about it. He still had to write the speech he would give you. Even with his sense for words, he had failed to find the right ones to express how much you meant to him. Turning his thoughts back to the battle he saw that victory was within hand’s reach. He watched as his brother’s hammer knocked down the last remaining elves. He rolled his eyes when he saw his brother show off as always. He quickly searched the battlefield for you. He had lost you half way through the battle, but knew you were able to handle yourself. You were strong and a force not to be messed with, he loved that about you. When he looked around he didn’t see you anywhere. He started to panic. You wouldn’t gotten hurt, right? Or worse? No, no, you wouldn’t. Then he heard your voice and he relaxed immediately. ‘Loki!’ you yelled at him from on top of the hill next to him. He looked up and saw you quickly ran down the hill towards him. He started to ran towards you, he couldn’t wait to have you safe in his arms again. And hopefully after tonight you would be in his arms for the rest of his life. A big smile appeared on your face when you saw him running towards you, and he matched your smile.

Loki stopped in his tracks right at the bottom off the hill opened his arms widely. You were close and he knew how much you liked to jump in his arms. He would catch you and not let you go for a very long time. He froze when he heard you cry out hard, a sudden feeling of pain shot through his chest when he heard the horrible sound. It happened all so fast. He saw an arrow through your heart. Blood started to soak your clothes red and you fell down hard. He heard a sadistic laugh and saw an elf on top of the hill with a bow. The elf was knocked down immediately with a lightning blast. Realizing what had happened Loki immediately rushed to your side. You had pulled the arrow from you and turned on your back. Your breathing was ragged and tears were starting to stream down your cheeks. ‘NO, NO, NO he yelled while examining your wound. ‘Ssh, darling I got you’ he tried to sooth you. He immediately started to work his seidr. He would heal you, he had done it plenty times before. But his wound was more serious than all the others, but if he focused he could do it. He must, he had no other choice.

He was shocked when you started to cry in agony. ‘Hold on, hold on.. I can do this. Just hold on, I can do this’ he started to chant over and over again. He felt you grab his hand and he looked at you. ‘Loki..’ you whispered to him in a weak voice. ‘No, don’t. Don’t you dare!’ you squeezed his hand tighter and he knew he couldn’t fix this. He felt his tears started to flow freely. He held you closer to him ‘I’m so sorry’ he cried. ‘It’s okay, love. Just look at me’ you told him. He gazed into your beautiful blue eyes, you were clearly in pain but your look was full of love when his eyes met yours. ‘Listen, there was nothing you could have done!’ you told him sternly. His mind was racing, if he just abandoned his station and searched for you. If he just saw the elf sooner, if only he… he was interrupted when he felt your hand brushing away the tears from is cheeks. ‘Don’t blame yourself, this wasn’t your fault’ you tried to reassure him. ‘Darling, you can’t leave me. Please don’t leave me’ he begged of you. ‘It’s my time, I guess. Sorry to ruin your surprise tonight’ you chuckled. You smiled weakly at him ‘Hush love, this isn’t forever. I will see you again in Valhalla’ you told him.  

He felt your body starting to get colder. You hadn’t much time he realized. He kissed your lips, knowing it would be the last time he could. He poured everything he had into that last kissed. For he loved you more than anything in the world. The way you looked at him like he was the only person in the room. The way you talked, walked and had stood by him through everything. The way your cunning mind challenged him and how you weren’t afraid to speak your thoughts. How your body felt pressed against him in bed, your lips against his. How you trusted him completely, which to Loki was amazing. Nobody trusted him, but you did blindly. When Loki felt your body starting to grow limb he broke the kiss. Your hand retracted from his cheek ‘Don’t forget how much I love you. Until I see you again, my trickster’ you smirked at him. ‘I love you too’ he whispered defeated. He saw your eyes closing and how you exhaled your final breath. Loki just held you and cuddled you closer, he couldn’t stop crying. How could he ever leave you here? How could he live on without you? Why would he even want to? He didn’t know how much time had passed. But his eyes were starting to hurt. He felt his brother’s hand on his shoulder ‘I’m so sorry, brother’ he whispered to him. He felt Thor drag him on his feet, it startled him. He tried to pull out of his grasp, he wasn’t leaving you. ‘Maybe we can do something, there surely must be something to be done! Some people can come back’ he started to argue. Thor’s grip around him tightened ‘We must go brother, it won’t be long before more elves come’. He felt a harsh wind around him and saw the bright colours of the Bifrost. ‘NOOO’ he screamed. I can’t, not without her!

Loki let out a hard sob and jolted awake. He sat up straight. He noticed that he was covered in sweat and his cheeks were wet. He was breathing rapidly. His eyes scanned the room he was in. It was his own room. Why did he dream that? he wondered. He quickly used his seidr to make himself presentable and searched his room again for you. A wave of relief washed over him when he saw you sitting on his bed reading a book. You looked up at him ‘Why so sad, trickster?’ The sound of your voice calmed him down. It was only a dream he told himself. He was probably just nervous about tonight. You got up from the bed and sat down next to him on the couch. ‘What’s wrong, love?’ Loki pulled his hands through his hair, trying to wrap his mind around the strange dream. ‘Nothing, just a nightmare. I- I thought I had lost you on the battlefield with the elves last year’ he whispered. Thinking back about the dream his chest started to hurt again. He heard you giggle ‘Like you could ever lose me. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. Even if that had happened you know I would just come back to haunt you’ Loki laughed ‘I’m sure you would’ Loki finally fully calmed down. ‘Do you want to postpone your surprise tonight? To get some more rest?’ you asked him. ‘No, but to be honest I can’t wait anymore’ after his nightmare he needed to know that you would be by his side forever. He got up and pulled the little box from the jacket he was wearing. He inhaled deeply and bent down to one knee before you.

‘(Y/N)’ he began. ‘I’ve tried to write this speech a hundred times, but I’m starting to think that the words I could use to express how I feel about you don’t exist. Still, I’m going to try. When I saw you I immediately fell for you. You’re sweet, charming, funny and your mind is cunning. I don’t know how, but everyday I fall more and more in love with you. You make my life brighter and I wouldn’t know what to do without you. I promise you to love you for the rest of my life and to treat you like the queen you are’ He took another deep breath, the nerves were getting to him. ‘Will you make me the happiest man in the Nine Realms and marry me?’ he asked. He opened the box with a golden ring inside of it. The ring was shaped like a snake almost biting it’s own tail, with a small green diamond for the eyes. You gasped when you saw the ring and tears were starting to form in your eyes. You looked at him like the world around you didn’t exist. ‘Yes, of course I’ll marry you’ you answered in a high pitched voice, your voice when you were excited. He was so relieved to hear you say those words, you would be his wife, his queen, forever. ‘I was planning to do this tonight at a candle light dinner on top of the hill, facing the sunset. But I just couldn’t wait any longer’ He laughed at your giddy excitement. ‘Afraid you would lose me?’ you smirked at him. He knew you were teasing but the comment hurt him physically. ‘Always’ he whispered. How could he not? You were everything to him, life would be pointless without you in it. When he looked up at you, you gave him a reassuring smile. ‘When you put this ring on my finger you can stop being afraid. I’ll always be here’ you reassured him. He took the ring from the box and put it around your ringfinger.

Suddenly wholes with green shimmers started to form on your body. You started to disappear in front of him and the green shimmer started to spread around his entire room. He didn’t understand, his room looked like an absolute mess and you were gone. The ring felt on the ground and the sound was deafening to Loki. Was this some sort of attack? He started to panic How did you disappear? Were you kidnapped? Were you okay? He turned around when he heard someone clear his throat. He saw his brother standing in the door opening. He was relieved to see him, he could help him. ‘THOR!’ he yelled. ‘We need to find (Y/N), I don’t know what happened but she just disappeared and..’  he was cut of when Thor walked towards him and grabbed both his shoulders. ‘W- what’s happening? Why aren’t you doing something?’ Loki asked him. The expression of his brother’s face made the pain in his chest increase. ‘Brother…she’s gone’ he spoke with a sad voice. He heard your scream of agony in the back of his mind. Loki stared in shock at his brother ‘No, she’s not. She was JUST HERE!’ he screamed at him. He grabbed Thor’s shoulders and started to shake him a little, hoping to put some sense in him ‘Help me find her! She has to be somewhere. She couldn’t have gone far. We need to get her back! JUST HELP ME!’ he begged his brother. Loki realized he was crying, why was he crying? He would find her, everything will turn out fine. He tried to explain to his brother what happened again ‘I just proposed, we are going to get married. She just vanished, someone took her from me!’ he yelled. His brother looked worryingly at him and he tightened his grip on Loki’s shoulder ‘Loki, you need to stop this. You’re starting to forget what’s real’