#he fucking slayed this and ate it up etc etc

[garvalhaminho]

forgot to post my thoughts while reading the first chapter of tlkof as someone who has only ever read tda and tid (translated from chaotic portuguese)

thais??? who??

dru likes learning by understanding how things work, relatable (SHE'S LITERALLY ME)

she's learning about downworlders and can ask magnus for help, but specifically cristina (the diva who loved studying faeries!!), mark and helen (icon) and kieran and i love that for her 💞 like yes give her one thing she can take advantage of

SHE'S GOT HER MOTHER ELEANOR'S JACKET !! I REPEAT SHE'S GOT HER MOTHER ELEANOR'S JACKET !!

not her dyeing her hair black (ate)

"thais always looked glamorous in her gear" 🤨 no look i know friends can find each other pretty and beautiful etc but when it's ya literature.....it's usually the censored version of "hot as fuck" JUST SAYING

DRU IS 5'3 YAAA WE'VE GOT THE SAME HEIGHT (i think, i'm not american)

i already love dru and thais's friendship 🫶 they match each others freak

dru trains to forget everything she's gone through 😭

oh already the preppy guys and fuckboys (mason hardcastle)

"dru and thais didn't need to ask each other; they knew already they'd be a team" awwww i already know i'm gonna love their friendship

paige ashdown when i see you in the street (no but like an ableist and fatphobic bully? i'll fight that fucker with my bare hands)

thais speaking portuguese in the middle of nowhere i love it

OH AND THE FUCKBOY IS HER EX AND HE SUCKS, if it was me and i had classes with him i'd literally throw myself off a bridge

dru inventing "sex crocodile",,, she's too iconic i fear

"nothing scared [dru}. nothing in a movie, anyway." babygirl 😭 i remember her like mentioning how she liked horror movies but the horror depicted would never be as bad as the real life horror she's experienced

dru still talks to kit 😭 no like imagine your sister still talks to your situationship of two weeks from three years ago, i'd jump off a bridge (yet again)

"there's no danger. we're on academy grounds" famous last words

"she tugged gently at a dangling lock in her friend's hair" THAT'S LITERALLY A MICROTROPE IN ROMANCE MOVIES

"she cursed silently, imagining every bad word she could think of and some she was pretty sure she'd just made up." let dru say fuck pleaseeee. just once. as a little treat, she deserves it

"she wondered for a moment if she should mention that her brother, mark, was the consort of the unseelie king" not her trying to use her connections

ASH SHOWING UP AND HUMILIATING THE LITTLE FAERIE MEN 😭 he slayed i fear

no yeah he's literally royalty he's literally a prince (get that bag girl!!)

dru thinking that ash's eyes were like the sea glass julian loved......oh how i love this family

"'how do you know my name?' she demanded. his eyes narrowed. 'you must be joking,' he said. 'you've forgotten? you can't have forgotten.'" of course she's forgotten a random guy she was with for two minutes three years ago, she has a life, YOU'RE just a SIMP

ash getting yelled at and reprimanded by his daddy or whatever but still literally helping his crush and sending her away to safety 🙏 and your man can't even text you back

julian and emma leaving london to take care of their child drusilla blackthorn

OH AND JULIAN'S GONNA NEED A LOT A THERAPY AFTER THREE BOOKS OF HIS KIDS GETTING THEMSELVES IN TROUBLE

he didn't even sleep during the three nights she was missing 😭

i fear i might become thais/dru shipper under the right circumstances

[webslingingslasher]

Oui it has been a hot minute! I’ve been so busy lately oml I just started back to school and I’ve been hanging with friends a lot which has been lovely.

BUT J OMG. I ACCIDENTALLY JOINED A CELLULAR AND MOLECULAR BIOLOGY CLASS FOR BIOLOGY MAJORS (🎀I’m an English major🎀I want to be an editor🎀this class was supposed to be a pre-requisite🎀I’m in way over my head🎀). But the good news is that I have the class with one of my besties and the professor is ✨fine✨. He’s 43 (I’m 19 lol) and he’s married with 2 daughters but ugh he’s so cute and nerdy - MAJOR Nerdy!Peter vibes - but hey he’s good eye candy and I pay attention in my nearly 3 hour class 🥲. If only I had a Peter to help me with the class. It’s so embarrassing - on the first day the professor was like “hey everyone knows this is a biology MAJORS course, right?” And my friend and I looked at eachother and I mouthed “oh fuck” (we were in the front row so the professor def. saw) AND THEN he had us go around the class and tell everyone our major and the majors were…

-veterinarian / medical peoples

-computer science

-bio (obviously)

-psych (my friend & like 2 guys)

AND THEN ME.

But it’s okay! I’m doing alright so far and I got myself a pink lab coat & goggles, and on our first lab day I wore a super cute dress and a bow to hold my hair back so I was comfy with myself (I have a super feminine style - pink, bows, lace, etc.) and my professor complimented me on my lab coat!

In other news I got tickets to Djo with my friend (Joe Keery’s band - “End of Beginning” is by him and he’s Steve in Stranger Things). Oh and my friends and I are getting all dressed up for the Grammy’s tomorrow to (hopefully) watch Taylor Swift announce Rep TV!

I’ve been lurking for a while I just literally haven’t had anything interesting to say. ✌️😀Anyways I hope you’re doing well babes! THE NERDY!PETER FIC ATE AND OMFG IF I DON’T FIND ME ONE IN THE FALL THIS YEAR (bc I GUARANTEE he’s not at my shitty community college) AT UNI IT’S OVER. ilysm and thank you for being the most slay purr purr girl boss queen ever. 💕

-🛍️

*SO IT SEEMS THAT MY INBOX BURIED SOME THINGS. I AM SORRY YOU GUYS <33333

LOVE THAT YOU'RE GOING BIO GIRLIE THINGSSSSS (even if it was an accident) I WISH TAYLOR ANNOUNCED REP TOO!!!!! AND I AM MANIFESTING A NERDY!PETER FOR YOU!!!! (also update me on how the concert was/after you go!!!)

[sakkac]

summary of my thoughts on see you in my 19th life episode 1

ban jieum <3 <3

pool huh……..

water imagery… i miss the library as the location of their first meeting but water imagery is saur- [explodes]

idk personally i was expecting the car accident to be in the first ten minutes like a jumpscare, but i like how it was drawn out and hinted at throughout the episode. also i am soooo smug abt already knowing what joowon was telling seoha before she died. like that ate me up when i was reading the manhwa but now 😏 hehe. but im still saur excited for the reveal in the kdrama

they put so much money into this. it is deserved i enjoy it it is slaying etc etc

love the child actors… seoha’s child actor looks like hwanwoong so much though that i couldn’t take him 100% seriously as seoha. i’d see him and im like OMGGGGG…. who made baby hwanwoong CRY????

love how they contextualized ban jieum’s prev lives…. her past lives were things i always wanted more of. i wanted to know how she exactly became the person she is today. because i feel entitled to knowing how my wife became so <3

ban jieum as a child is the funniest thing ever like she just has a mission to see seoha again and then she’s doing the most outlandish things to get there. shes like “he made me feel like a child again and forget my remembering of my past lives” and then she becomes a child laborer. for him. girl i love you

really love the expansion of jieum and ae-gyeong’s relationship. in all im a very big fan of how many things have become contextualized and grounded in the kdrama vs the manhwa. but i still love the manhwa so much….. lee hye's manhwa ban jieum will always have a grip on me

seoha’s dad is such an asshole….. why did they change him. bring back the fucked up guy who at least kept to himself? [redacted] [redacted] 😭

adult seoha in the pool was 😌 my exact words seeing that scene was “man’s looking good…. NIPPLE???????”

they already showed how he only sits in the front seat now…. crying. no one look at me i need some privacy to recover

piano…..

HoH seoha canon in the kdrama 😭😭😭 i hope they keep seoha’s habit of keeping the tv on too 😭

his hearing aid is sooo small and it looks expensive…. fucking chaebol

ban jieum please give me one chance. plea

great first episode…. got all the feelings and put everything in order for the viewer to understand ban jieum’s world

i actually never told this to anyone, but i always thought this would make a GREAT kdrama. like it has all the kdrama tropes (emotionally repressed and traumatized chaebol, poor but hardworking female lead, side couple, car accident, mom dies, one [1] friend each for the female and male leads) and an interesting quirk (ban jieum <3). so im so so so happy please take care of me in this life as well has a kdrama and it has so much money and effort put into it. and the actors are wonderful so far and beloved…. like apparently ahn bohyun lost some weight to play seoha bc seoha’s supposed to look frail 😭😭😭 GOD HELP ME that is so true hes like a flower you accidentally stepped on but you pick it up and nurture it because it has a certain charm abt it. this is why i trust ahn bohyun for this role... its like he peeked in my brain. anyways. if you told me two years ago one of my favorite manhwa EVER would have a kdrama like this i would say “it’s deserved” but i’d be hiding a smile.

[hopskipandarump]

ok i finished the first palace, heres all the really stupid shit that happened to me

the very first fight of the entire thing?

just threw me a superboss nbd (i died)

so i died, restarted, got a new set of enemies and- oh. oh no.

jk, he couldnt attack me for some reason so i just sat there and used rush

WHO WILL WIN: INSANELY STRONG BOSS or ONE SLICY BOY

so anyway i escaped the super totally hard and close fight with shido and proceeded to get thrown into my next fight

THE SAE AND KUNIKAZU TAGTEAM NOBODY SAW COMING HOLY FUCK

just casually did black mask's job for him and finished off okumura, and then levisae also couldnt attack so she met the same fate as shido of being slowly poked to death

running around the palace like normal la la la oh hey another forced ba

a

yeah so anyway el wiwi showed up after i ate tremendous shit

more boring stuff happened like level 30 enemies etc

and then

...i ran, and ran right into 3 of madarame's right eye painting

a refreshingly easy encounter after everything id been suffering with to this point, i cleaned them up, saved, and went right into my next battle and

FOR FUCKS SAKE NOT YOU AGAIN

I ACTUALLY GOT HER TO HALF HP AND THEN MY GAME JUST ENTIRELY CRASHED AND WASTED LIKE 10 MINUTES

whatever this is just part of the experience ill load it back up, turn on the randomiser, and just go do that fight again and get new enemies

omg hey bestie!!! just goro akechi hanging out with a literal penis. bit on the nose maybe but slay i guess

(he almost did slay it took 3 rez beads, 2 recarms, and abusing the FUCK out of my RPL Phys persona and he died a second before he would have used that oneshot joker move)

ok that nightmare is over im gonna save and move on to the ne

...a

there were no survivors

just a random nose floating around kamoshidas palace, dont think i wanna know wtf that place smells like, probably stale cum, old gym mats, and rancid body odour

one of shidos forms turned up and i know from experience (aka the testing i did with this randomiser earlier) that this fucker has a very very very high chance of softlocking my game, so i took the gamble and managed to run, only to then run into

she gave me 5k yen :)

more paintings, something kinda funny is that if you get multiple of the same one, at least one painting will be in a permanent loop of its death animation even though its completely alive? probably some kinda bug to do with the fact theres only ever meant to be one of each alive at the same time

randomly got kaneshiro's scripted 3-wave security battle that miraculously didnt break at all?

this guy turned up

i guess okumura doesnt pay well if all i get is 3.8k

got an encounter that was two sandalphons and i spent over 15 mins whittling their hp down, i had to keep ailmenting them so they didnt flee

at some point my personas got randomised too??

i fixed it afterwards but it was still wild seeing mercurius turn up randomly when i used heat riser

had to turn it off for a moment to get the eyes for the scythe bridge, it wouldnt work unless it was the correct enemies, and then i had something happen that i cannot do justice with using just words so im gonna link a vid and show you just how lucky i got when i hit the wrong item

next fight starts and yeah i didnt mention that ANY ENEMY can be a disaster shadow with this rando

kamoshida exploding and killing himself gone wrong gone sexual etc etc. he gave me a life stone :)

sent the calling card, went in to fight the boss aaaand

game crashes

reload

go again

get into the boss

three mots that fall over with one hit from my baal

treasure: stolen

kamoshitter: changed

homies: obtained

time to chill for 2 weeks ingame and then hope the second palace doesnt crash too much

im gna do a proper p5r rando run, im spamming tw*tter as i do it but ill make sure to update tumblr after each palace

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

the grand santa fe barbiere di siviglia write up:

this show was pure. fucking. GOLD.

i just HAVE to give y’all the play by play because it was pure gold.

so:

-the overture was mostly unstaged. what do i mean by mostly?

well, the opera started with this:

yes, that is a mustache made out of greenery, complete with LED oranges.

about halfway through the overture, an enormous bust of Rossini emerged from beneath the stage and then slid forward until it perfectly matched up with the mustache. the audience loved it, and rightly so.

-the basic conceit of the production was “18th century but with modern touches”, which is often a struggle to pull off but this production (directed by Stephen Barlow) did it incredibly masterfully.

-Fiorello was great and also incredibly cute.

-he was dressed in a classic 18th century look but walked on with a GAP bag, which made the audience lose it.

-the musicians were a full-on mariachi band, which was hilarious especially given that Rossini’s orchestration there does not sound like a mariachi band.

-Almaviva walked on in 18th century costume, took the GAP bag, and quickly changed to look like a student at the “University of Sevilla”.

-one of the mariachi dudes conducted using the little straw thing from a Starbucks coffee cup

-the chorus gave 120%

-they did a fuckin KICKLINE

-Berta took the trash out before Figaro’s entrance, went “Che?”, and then went back into the house

-i should also mention that the house was made out of the bust of Rossini: the front door was where his mouth should be and the eyes were the windows

-“Largo al factotum” was CHEF’S FUCKIN KISS

-for one thing Joshua Hopkins is brilliant

-Figaro had six assistants

-each one of them gave a haircut to a toreador

-the repeated “Figaro” cries were sung individually by the assistants instead of by Figaro, which became hilarious when he started to continue the “Figaro”s but instead turned back to the last assistant and cried “Bravo!”

-also Figaro broke the fourth wall and started conducting for a bit

-at the end, the assistants held up what seemed to be mirrors but when turned around were actually signs that spelled “FIGARO”

-the mustache was a source of much physical comedy, ridiculous attempts at hiding/blending in, etc

-Berta had a heart box of chocolates. Bartolo threw it out but Figaro ate some of the chocolates before deciding he didn’t like them and putting them back with the trash.

-Almaviva offered (and later gave) Figaro an entire suitcase of cash

-Figaro and Almaviva practiced soldier and drunken soldier moves during their duet

-the audience loved them so much that everyone started clapping halfway through their duet

-also Almaviva had golden retriever energy and was fuckin fantastic

-anyway

-they were great

-the house had an elaborate cage like structure with a huge swing on it

-this Rosina SLAYED

-Basilio had an Orange brand computer and cellphone, which was objectively hilarious

-also this Basilio was absolutely fantastic

-INSANE range

-“La calunnia” was essentially “Basilio teaches Bartolo about how modern technology works”

-at one point, Bartolo started trying to write on the laptop with a quill and ink, which was hilarious

-Bartolo learning about (and loving) modern technology was great

-also i have to say this Bartolo just about stole the show

-he was fuckin GOLD

-think the amount of comedy Jonathan Groff produced in Hamilton

-then multiply that by a hundred

-Rosina and Figaro had ultimate BROTP energy, which is EXACTLY as it should be

-their chemistry was perfect

-Bartolo’s aria was fucking PERFECTION INCARNATE

-he got SWEATBANDS and a YOGA MAT and spent most of the aria doing what could only be described as “calisthenics” while delivering perfect patter

-then Berta walked in and gave Rosina some sort of drug to give to Bartolo that caused him to do the bass claw (iykyk) and then have a problem where he could not sit in a chair without sliding out and then Rosina was panicking

-(btw, pretty much NO ONE could sit in a chair correctly…if you know, you know)

-Berta was perfection btw

-had the perfect “wtf???” reaction always

-also she kept chatting with someone into a rotary phone

-while Drunk Soldier Almaviva and Bartolo were talking in the street, a random po-po walked by and they had to act natural, which was hilarious

-Bartolo took Berta’s duster and tried to use it as a weapon against Almaviva, but Almaviva pulled a gun on him

-BASILIO CAME IN WEARING BEATS

-the physical comedy was IMMACULATE

-the “we’re all like statues” scene was fucking HILARIOUS, especially when Figaro decided to use his handkerchief to slowly dust off Bartolo’s legs

-also props to the chorister who fanned (a fainted) Rosina perfectly in time with the music

-the Act I finale was INCREDIBLE.

and then there was intermission and i didn’t think the show could get any funnier.

i.

was.

WRONG.

-the swing was replaced with Rosina in a bubble bath.

-Bartolo just continued to be chef’s kiss.

-this next part just might have been the funniest fucking part of the entire show

-for the music teacher disguise they disguised Almaviva as

-wait for it

-a Mormon missionary music teacher.

-y’know, the way they’re depicted in everything I’ve ever seen about The Book of Mormon.

-same outfit.

-Almaviva walked in with golden retriever energy

-and the entire audience LOST ITS SHIT.

-and then Almaviva proceeded to give Bartolo several copies in increasing size of the Book of Mormon.

-I FUCKING DIED

-Rosina was dressed like an old Hollywood star for most of Act II and I WANT THAT COSTUME SO BADLY

-“Contro un cor” and all surrounding hijinks RULED

-Bartolo deliberately sang nearly all his song afterwards flat and with plenty of physical comedy

-the crash scene was amazing because immediately after the crash, Figaro walked back onstage holding a box labeled “crash box” and proceeded to shake it until it made crashing noises again

-the other principals wore masks during the scene where they’re gaslighting Basilio into thinking he’s sick

-also they were all giving him doctor examinations in time with the music

-SEVERAL GUYS WITH HAZMAT SUITS CAME TO TAKE BASILIO AWAY ON A STRETCHER

-but first the other principals wheeled him around and gave him grapes and did a little dance number around the stretcher

-Bartolo blew a bunch of shaving cream into the air at one point

-also only half his face got shaved

-Berta’s aria was AWESOME

-about halfway through, four guys in tuxes came on and suddenly we’re in an old Hollywood dance number Rossini-style

-they whipped off her 18th century maid costume in one of the fastest onstage changes i’ve ever seen to reveal a 1930s look, and the audience cheered

-one of the guys threw her a rose bouquet at the end

-the storm featured a guy pretending to get blown away

-also Almaviva and Figaro getting increasingly tall ladders in several quick on-offs

-Figaro got so annoyed with Rosina and Almaviva’s lovey-dovey stuff that he just straight up LEFT

-only to come back in when he realized they were in trouble

-the wedding scene (and Bartolo’s reactions): perfection.

-the mariachi band came back for Almaviva’s last aria and the end

-Rosina got wheeled around on a suitcase cart at the end

-and at the VERY end, the mustache disappeared so the ending looked more or less like this:

-tbh this likely wasn’t even the half of all the SHENANIGANS

-but yeah

-this production was ICONIC

-and of course all the performers were iconic

-Kevin Burdette (Dr. Bartolo) I am officially in love with you

-actually I’m in love with everyone in this

-couldn’t have asked for a better first trip to the santa fe opera ❤️❤️❤️

[kitc0nn0r]

Ranking of Ghostface killers in Scream?

This is the kind of content I need, thank you! Starting from the bottom for maximum dramatic effect feels appropriate...

9 - Charlie (Just the least memorable one honestly, couldn't tell you much about him except he's a rat)

8 - Roman (The reveal was so stupid, Sidney hadn't even met him in the movie, he was a whiny bitch, etc. Oh and fuck the stupid voice changer thing. Props for being the only solo killer though!)

7 - Mickey (Timothy Olyphant ate his part in the third act UP but he just wasn't in the movie enough for it to feel like there was much of an impact)

6 - Richie (We're moving onto ones I really have no big problems with at this point. Great reveal, great performance, but the motive could be better and he let Amber do all the work!)

5 - Amber (Basically same resume as Richie except she did all the work and killed Dewey so... slay queen!)

4 - Mrs. Loomis (Love the motive, love Laurie Metcalf's performance, just a serve basically)

3 - Stu (Matthew Lillard was going insane just improvising and spitting everywhere and I saw him recently say he hated his performance but you know what... I live! And don't forget he was gay for Billy)

2 - Billy (I know, you probably thought he'd be number 1. And maybe you could make the argument he should be. But I'm gay!)

1 - Jill (This is the role Emma Roberts was born to play! It's crazy how well her motive has aged since 2011. Scream 4 was the first Scream movie I ever saw and my little gay ass seeing this in the movie theater when I was 14... I had to go back and watch the first three movies. This is all because of her!)

[tossawary]

Because my brain does NOT stop even when I’m grounded, today my brain told me, “Hey, I figured out how to make a Hobbit Fusion AU work.” And I was like, “Great! We’re working, though.” And my brain was like, “I’ve figured out how to make it a Pre-Canon Canon Divergence AU for Moshang.”

And I was like, “...I’m listening.”

The Hobbit is another one of my Comfort Media and it got brought up when I was asking about that, but I was feeling kind of “eh” about mixing Tolkien mythology with SVSSS. I mean, the mental picture of Dwarf Mobei-Jun is extremely funny and Shang Qinghua would make a great hobbit! But that interpretation felt a little too direct for my AU tastes.

So, hm, now I have another potential Big Bang contender. My love for The Hobbit is very, VERY strong and looking at my current outline, I have to be like, “Yeah, this could be 50,000 words, no problem.”

It’s a very good outline!

-

After saving Mobei-Jun, Shang Qinghua bailed A.S.A.P. because he honestly thought Mobei-Jun was going to kill him. He psyched himself out of sticking around before Mobei-Jun woke up. Mobei-Jun didn’t get enough information to track Shang Qinghua down.

Shang Qinghua (who isn’t SQH because he isn’t the Peak Lord) decides that he can’t fucking take it anymore and bails from Cang Qiong Mountain Sect too. The System objects, but also falls into line when Airplane shrieks at it. Airplane is going to go become a humble merchant and inventor and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop him!

It turns out that Shang Qinghua’s presence or help was actually crucial to stop some Emperor of the Abyss from taking over the Ice Palace and the Northern Desert. Airplane is like, “Oh, yeah, I remember… offhandedly writing something about that happening in the past off-screen?” It was one of those things that he just threw in there because it sounded really cool, and it gave Mobei-Jun another reason to “owe” Shang Qinghua and not kill him immediately, but he never got to elaborate on it because he was too busy writing stallion novel bullshit.

So, borrowing the lore from my “Horns” one-shot, an extremely powerful Emperor of the Abyss escaped the Eternal Abyss. This is some devouring horror being from the depths of the abyss, which ate everything in its vicinity in the abyss itself and crawled into the Demon Realm to eat more things. The Emperor of the Abyss was attracted to Mobei-Jun’s father. They fought. Mobei-Jun’s father should have won, but didn’t, because he was too fucked up (thanks to his own hedonism or something) to fight properly. What an asshole.

Mobei-Jun’s father was killed and devoured by the Emperor of the Abyss, which has made it… exponentially powerful. It’s now… basically a calamity. The desolation that it leaves in its wake across the Northern Desert is unspeakable. Mobei-Jun and his family, their allied clans, and pretty much all demons in the Northern Desert have had to flee.

Mobei-Jun is currently essentially a “guest” of the Sha Clan. He’s homeless. He’s lost the power of his ancestors. He’s a “king” without a kingdom. It’s humiliating. He needs to kill the abyssal creature to retrieve: his title, his ancestors’ power, and his kingdom.

While working for other demon clans to support his family and people, Mobei-Jun crosses paths with Airplane. Airplane has become a relatively successful merchant and inventor, and he calls himself Shang Houhua. He lives a very comfortable life and does his best to ignore anything resembling the plot. He’s pretty successful at ignoring the plot.

Mobei-Jun is never in a good mood these days, but he’s especially pissed off to see that human who abandoned him all those years ago. Airplane tries to argue that Mobei-Jun told him to fuck off, but Mobei-Jun is too angry. Airplane makes lots of offers in an effort to get Mobei-Jun to spare his life, one of which ends up being a claim that he can help Mobei-Jun kill the Emperor of the Abyss and make him a king again. Mobei-Jun pauses, now even more pissed off than before, and Airplane just starts babbling desperately to save his own skin.

Mobei-Jun was already forming a company to take on a Quest for the Northern Desert - in the hopes of slaying the Emperor of the Abyss and retaking his homeland. Part of the issue has been that forming the company is difficult. Mobei-Jun wants people who are loyal to HIM and ONLY to him. He won’t owe anyone else anything or promise them pieces of his homeland.

(Airplane is like, “Bro, I don’t know if you can afford to be so picky, but okay.”)

So Mobei-Jun is like… “I still want to kill you, but fine, you can come on our quest and help us.”

So Airplane ends up on the Quest for the Northern Desert, led by his very angry future murderer the “king without a kingdom” Mobei-Jun, to fight the calamitous Emperor of the Abyss who killed Mobei-Jun’s father. Fuck.

Some details beyond this opening premise:

Airplane and Mobei-Jun fall in love over the course of the quest, obviously. They have their own hijinks like each chapter of The Hobbit (equivalents to the trolls, to Rivendell, to Goblintown, to Beorn, to Mirkwood, and to Laketown, etc.). 

Oh, damn, I just realized that making a pre-fall Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang the Beorn equivalents would be so fucking funny.

The Emperor of the Abyss is a horrifying Smaug equivalent. It can totally talk because Airplane having a conversation with a draconian horror sounds incredible. I would love to have Airplane outwit the Emperor of the Abyss in some fashion.

Mobei-Jun and Airplane somehow manage to successfully kill the Emperor of the Abyss together. Like, together. Probably using some plot device whipped up or some clever plan devised by Airplane on his feet. Mobei-Jun trusts Airplane at a crucial moment and it all works out. Airplane actually gets Mobei-Jun his kingdom back.

I’m tempted to just skip over the Ring and not having a Ring equivalent. BUT if I made this into a longfic instead of a one-shot, I would have a Ring equivalent (if it was a one-shot, I would ditch the Ring equivalent). I think I would make Xin Mo the One Ring equivalent. During the Goblintown equivalent event, Airplane falls either into the Eternal Abyss or into Bing-Ge’s dimension, where he proceeds to successfully take up Xin Mo because he knows the trick and portal himself out of the Eternal Abyss, or he proceeds to outwit Bing-Ge in some fashion and uses the Xin Mo sword to portal himself back to the right dimension.

So then Airplane is stuck with this super powerful sword that he doesn’t want to use again because he KNOWS that it will fuck him up. He KNOWS that it will FUCK HIM UP. So Airplane has to go through the rest of the quest ignoring the temptation of the Xin Mo sword that he is absolutely not supposed to have and can’t possibly let anyone else have.

(Oh, man, imagining the influence of Xin Mo giving Airplane extra horny thoughts about Mobei-Jun on the rest of the quest is very funny. Like, Airplane was already hot for Mobei-Jun, but now it’s worse and he might never have a normal thought ever again.)

Bagginshield Movie Hug when Airplane turns up again, for sure. Mobei-Jun thought he was dead. Mobei-Jun smiles and everything, until he remembers to frown again.

I’m feeling like I don’t want Airplane to use Xin Mo to help defeat the Emperor of the Abyss, but it makes sense if he does. Him not using it doesn’t make much sense. I do like the idea of Airplane dealing the killing blow and Mobei-Jun’s pride being hurt by Airplane being the one to kill it. I also like the idea of Mobei-Jun being a little smitten by Airplane just… loyally handing him his kingdom and restoring the power of his ancestors. I also really like the idea of Airplane just… not having some super powerful plot device up his sleeve on the quest.

Like, instead of Airplane’s Author God knowledge totally setting him up to deal with this thing no problem, Airplane had NO FUCKING PLAN when he set out with Mobei-Jun. He was talking completely out of his ass when he said he knew how to help Mobei-Jun. That this all worked out at all is almost completely due to luck and improvisation.

That feels MUCH more true to both Shang Qinghua and to Bilbo Baggins. Lucky lads of fast-talking, complaining, lying, not knowing what the fuck is really going on, thirsting after kings with tragic backstories, and somehow not dying despite winging it all the time.

Instead of goldsickness, Mobei-Jun is forced to deal with some side-effects of consuming the Emperor of the Abyss to regain the power of his ancestors. (Demon cannibalism rituals. Yeah.) He starts acting really scary and out-of-character and forceful, until Airplane loses his nerve and runs away. Maybe under the influence of the late Emperor of the Abyss, Mobei-Jun actually tries to kill him? I could see Mobei-Jun trying to kill Airplane for the Xin Mo sword which dealt the finishing blow on the Emperor of the Abyss.

(I need a better name for this thing. If I can’t come up with something that actually sounds good, I might just call it “The Calamity”, but that’s giving me BOTW vibes so I don’t like it. Maybe I’d call it “The Desolation” or something? Ehhhh, I don’t really like that either.)

I want to have a Battle of the Five Armies equivalent, if only so Tianlang-Jun and Zhuzhi-Lang can swoop in as benevolent helpers as the Beorn equivalents. Currently, I’m seeing three options. 1) The orc army equivalent are neighboring demon lords who want to strike while the new Mobei-Jun is getting established. 2) The orc army equivalent is Linguang-Jun trying to kill his nephew and take power at the last minute. 3) The orc army equivalent is Bing-Ge here with an army and he’s pissed off and wants his sword back.

On one hand, 1 and 2 would be SO MUCH EASIER to pull off. I could be really lazy about the whole thing. On the other hand, 3 would be much fresher (more surprising and links back to the Xin Mo element), more challenging and the idea of pre-fall Tianlang-Jun facing off with Bing-Ge delights me. Kick his ass, Tianlang-Jun!

(Su Xiyan gets involved? My brain says YES. Kick his ass, Su Xiyan!)

Also, I was sad about there being no Fili and Kili equivalents, because Mobei-Jun has no friends, and I’ll have to make up a company pretty much from scratch. (Sha Hualing is too young and Luo Binghe hasn’t been born yet.) BUT then I was like, “Where’s Linguang-Jun in all this?” And I would absolutely have Linguang-Jun be a part of Mobei-Jun’s Company. Instead of nephews, Mobei-Jun has a sketchy uncle who might be trying to kill him. Keeping Linguang-Jun out of it might be easier, but actually doing some character-building with him sounds fun and challenging, and I’d rather limit the number of OCs if possible.

Mobei-Jun manages to shake off the goldsickness equivalent somehow, probably through “the power of love” (and/or straight-up “dual cultivation” with Airplane?). Moshang makes up while Mobei-Jun is apparently mortally wounded from fighting Bing-Ge and Airplane thinks this is all his fault. But Mobei-Jun doesn’t die! It’s all good!  

It’d be pretty funny if there was a “Returning to the Shire” equivalent where Airplane leaves because he thinks Mobei-Jun hates him now and never wants to see him again. So then Mobei-Jun has to track his man down like, “Get back here and marry me. (Also I am so sorry for trying to kill you. Please forgive me. I hate myself so much for that.)”

And they all live happily ever after!

Holy shit, this wasn’t in Proud Immortal Demon Way.

[lxstfulbeans]

Because I woke up and chose violence, let’s have some jealousy hc’s! 🙂

So you know the “What’s good, shawty? Yo man still around?” TikTok prank? Well, rather than it be a prank, let’s have an actual guy say this Y/N. She’s FaceTiming a male classmate for a project and after they discussed enough ideas on the assignment, he gets bold and asks Y/N if her man’s is still around. Now our girl is happy and in a beautiful relationship with her man’s but before she could tell him that he is, her bae decided to have perfect timing cuz he swiper no swiped tf outta that phone to let the chump know “So you’ve chosen death”.

For this request, I’d like to have hc’s of Bakugo, Hawks, Dabi, and Shinsou reacting to such tomfoolery cuz why not? ☺️

TUH- couldn’t be me, but these pranks had me dead 😭✋🏽.

ALSO- THANK Y’ALL SO MUCH FOR 215 FOLLOWERS OMFG- 😭💕❤️

Headcanon: “What’s good shawty? Ya man’s still around?” Reactions.

Katsuki Bakugou:

Okay, now you were just doing this assignment and tryna slay with yo A+ right?

You were partnered up with one of your male classmates, y’all didn’t really talk like that but a grade is a grade, right?

Your amazing, yet bold and brash, angry hedgehog lookin’ ass boyfriend, Katsuki laid in your bed, scrolling through his phone as he ate some of your hot fries.

No matter how bad you wanted them hoes, it was the only thing keeping him quiet until you were finished.

“Aight, so I think we should close off the presentation with a short conclusion, maybe add some additional facts and we’re in the clear.” You said with a sigh, ready to cuddle with your boyfriend after y’all were done with this cuz your head was starting to hurt.

But, this was when lil’ homie was starting to get bold bold.

“Okay, cool.. but can I ask you something before we close out?” He asks, a smirk forming on his face.

“Wassup?” You ask, yawning as you stretched.

“Is your man still around?”

You could not believe your ears, and you know damn well Katsuki heard that shit because you could feel that aura creeping up on your back.

“Boy, who in the he-“

“YOU LISTEN HERE, YOU THIRSTY VIRGIN SACK OF PISS! I DUNNO WHO YOU THINK YOU ARE OR WHO THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU TALKIN’ TO BUT THIS IS MY GIRL RIGHT HERE AND SHE GON’ STAY MY GIRL!”

Mans was real quiet then, lookin’ like he shit himself after realizing he fucked up.

“L-Look man, I was just-“

“NO, BITCH. YOU WERE JuSt ABOUT TO GET OFF MY GIRL PHONE WITH THAT FUCKSHIT AND IF I EVER CATCH YOUR ASS TRYNA SPIT GAME IMMA BLOW YOUR ASS TO HELL!”

And with that, he hung up and dragged you to the bed, wrapping his around around you and locking you close to him.

He was still pissed off but he was still a big baby, and you know it’ll pass until y’all go to class the next day.

Keigo Takami [Hawks]:

You were laying across the bed, your legs across Keigo’s lap as he sat up against the headboard, reading a nice little book as he ate some chicken nuggets y’all shared.

You were on Skype with one of your classmates, one that you never really talked to but had to do the project with him.

Y’all exchanged notes, helped each other with flash cards, took turns with the slides, etc.

You were just about to end the call so you could touch up the project before submitting it until you were caught off guard.

“Okay, good thinking today, [Y/N], but I just have one question if that’s okay?”

“Oh yeah, what’s on ya mind?” You respond, finishing the rest of the notes.

“Is your man still around?”

You dropped your pencil and made the most disgusted look.

You knew Keigo heard that shit when he slammed that book shut and used plenty of his feathers to pick up your laptop and float before him.

You could tell he was dead serious when he had that frown, those stern eyes. He wasn’t playing no games today.

“Listen here, you pathetic dollar store playboy. My dove isn’t going anywhere, she doesn’t want you, and I’ll be damned if any girl would want to even take a peek at your little pecker. ‘Cause that’s real small dick energy right there pal. She’s happy here, and here is where she’ll stay. You could never compare to me, so stay in your fucking place..”

“I-I’m sorry man! I won’t try it aga-“ call ended.

If that wasn’t the hottest thing he’s done, you don’t know what was.

Keigo sighed, closing your laptop and setting it to the side before lifting you up and placing you on top of him.

With his arms wrapped around you, kissing your forehead, he mumbles, “You let me know if that jackass tries that shit again. I’ll give him a personal ass whooping.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, rolling your eyes as you pressed a soft kiss against his bicep.“You do your thang, bae.”

Dabi [Touya Todoroki]:

Dabi laid on your bed, dozing off after a day of villainy.

He dozed to the sound of you working with your classmate over the phone, just over simple homework that he had oh so much trouble with.

While you sat at your desk, he had the nerve to try to be bold while your boyfriend.. your TERRIFYING boyfriend who has NO problems with killings mfs.

“So, can I ask this one question for clarification?” He said.

“Yeah, shoot.”

“Is your man still around?”

Your eyes widened, your brow raised and you were ready to lose your fucking mind. How DARE he try to spit some whack ass game?

Dabi’s eyes shot open, awake and pissed.

He got up and snatched your phone, small flames sparking against his cheek.

“Now, you fucking listen and you listen good, you shrimp dick motherfucker. I am [Y/N]’s man, and I will continue to be her man until the end. She has no time for thirsty wannabes like you. If I ever catch you trying to flirt with my woman.. you better hope I don’t see you in the streets..”

With that chilling threat, he hung up the phone and placed it on the desk, sighing as he calmed down.

“That’s enough books for one night.. now, come cuddle with me, I’m tired.”

[bestworstcase]

Okay but what is the general consensus on Zhan Tiri eating Ri Ni’n I would like to know

:D

the general consensus is. there is no general consensus ALKSDFJK

in ye olden times, by which i mean ~500 years prior to the consumption and earlier, the dominant belief in the citir region where ri ni’n grew was. ri ni’n in a protector/guardian role and the... entity that would become zhan tiri (known by various names but most commonly gat as’la) as this... slumbering devourer figure kept at bay by ri ni’n the gatekeeper. really early on gat as’la was considered... frightening but not evil. a force of primordial violence and part of the natural creation/destruction cycle that the abralians, who were the dominant culture in the area at the time, believed in. this mythology began to drift more and more towards malevolence as gat as’la began to “wake up” ie take more of an active interest in humankind. 

then! during the last decade or so before the shattered era begins, gat as’la encounters dione, who survives. no one has ever escaped before so gat as’la spends the next nine or ten years chasing her until that enmity sort of evolves into a mutual fascination. in 0 SE they make a bargain, gat as’la renames herself ẓanti’ri, and dione founds a cult in her name (the host of the rotted vulture). HRV’s characterization of ẓanti’ri has a lot in common with late-abralian characterizations of gat as’la—a cruel, violent devourer—but with the key difference of there being no notion of ẓanti’ri being held at bay by ri ni’n. she’s already here. they coexist. 

(early HRV ẓanti’ri is a goddess of war and vengeance, pretty much, with a pinch of apocalypse death cult thrown in for good measure. it is not a nice organization.)

*deep breath* 

to zoom out a little, zhan tiri’s domain is hunger and she is, to a much greater extent than the average sublime entity, sort of malleable in nature. most gods form when a significant amount of magic coagulates around an anchor point, and anchor points come from widespread shared beliefs or doubts or feelings about the cosmos at large. so, like, cathay for example began to form once sentient races started asking questions about what happens to people when they die. zhan tiri, on the other hand, actually predates the cosmos by a wide margin. she’s an abyssal parasite that crawled out of the dark country eons ago, killed jinarche, ate part of her corpse, absorbed and corrupted a big chunk of her power, and became... sort of a cosmic personification of hunger and sort of a cursed reincarnation of jinarche. and that cataclysm created the current cosmos with the separation between the profane and sublime realms etc. 

ANYWAY THE POINT IS, zhan tiri is what she eats. i mean this in the most literal way possible. when she struck that deal with dione, dione’s soul became... hm. tethered to ẓanti’ri’s sphere of power, so while ẓanti’ri didn’t eat it in the literal sense it still became, in a way, part of her. likewise for the other acolytes of the HRV. so an unintended side-effect of ẓanti’ri being worshipped is that it infects her with little bits of humanity. this had already begun to happen a little bit during her pursuit of dione (and was the impetus for her to choose her name) but it accelerates as the cult took off.

around 420 SE, ẓanti’ri has a divine existential crisis and spends a few years wandering and brooding until she ends up in the peatland of what would become saporia and meets sorchā, who is a young poet and philosopher afflicted with her own ennui. they talk a lot, and sorchā starts to crystalize her own philosophical theories and, in particular, the idea of “choimghē” as an ideal combination of the profane and sublime. (ẓanti’ri also adopts the spelling of zhan tiri around this time.) the concept of choimghē fascinates zhan tiri, who goes to ri ni’n to seek advice or help achieving it. 

(she goes to ri ni’n because, as the cosmic bridge, ri ni’n is of both the profane and sublime realms.)

now! zhan tiri and ri ni’n are not and have never been enemies. their relationship is more akin to the relationship between zhan tiri and huma or turul, i.e. they belong to the same, in a manner of speaking, family. there’s no like... biological relationship because sublime entities do not have biological relationships, but the four of them all developed around the same time and their spheres of power all overlap pretty extensively, and they’re all, like, compatible with each other. if turul is your patron it would be reasonable for you to petition zhan tiri for a one-off favor, for example, that kind of thing. 

which is to say zhan tiri does not approach ri ni’n in an antagonistic way or at all with the intention of killing her, but... ri ni’n a) couldn’t help zhan tiri with this even if she wants to and b) doesn’t want to, because zhan tiri has spent the last several centuries being horrible and ri ni’n, who understands things like pain and fear because she exists on the physical plane and has a body, disapproves of that. so she tells zhan tiri that the only way to get what she wants is through more violence, which ri ni’n will not under any circumstances help her with, and that if she does go through with it she’ll bear the consequences forever. and zhan tiri is like #YOLO and eats her. 

so like i said, zhan tiri is what she eats, so... there is a strong theological argument to be made that rather than ‘killing’ ri ni’n, zhan tiri engulfed and became her—this is the standard doctrine of the modern HRV. in any case she absorbed all of ri ni’n’s power, supplanted her as the cosmic bridge, and (this part is important) grew a body. (said body is a vast blobby mass of random things but she can smash bits of it into more... uh, coherent shapes when she wants to appear on the planet.) and part of having an actual physical body was that it came with physical sensations and real emotions rather than just vague impressions left by all the human souls she’d collected over the years so this whole process was a nightmare alksdfk and sorchā got to deal with this trillion-year-old god having a sensory overload meltdown for several months. 

the point being, in the aftermath of eating ri ni’n, zhan tiri mellowed out a lot. became... gentler. experiencing pain for herself and the realizing she had done that to people herself was horrifying for her. and this is also when her sphere began to really branch and grow into the eclectic monstrosity that it is today, because while attempting to process all these new things she was experiencing her only real frame of reference was ‘hunger.’

( zhan tiri: love is when you want to eat someone but have them not, like, die because of it right

sorchā: no )

so ANOTHER perspective on the eating ri ni’n situation is that it was kind of a last time pays for all type of thing. zhan tiri slaughtered one of her own siblings for personal gain and, just as ri ni’n warned her, she’s going to carry the consequences of that and every act of violence that came before for eternity and the nature of those consequences also mean she now has the capacity to be better. one last shattering atrocity in exchange for her becoming, not an entity driven by the compulsion to take and take but one capable of choice even though she does still feel that urge. this is the framework the thorn syconium teaches. 

then you also get myths here and there where zhan tiri and ri ni’n are understood as always having been one and the same, and their mythological enmity and the subsequent consumption of ri ni’n is interpreted as an individual entity having an internal conflict with itself, torn between its cruel and destructive urges (represented in the figure of gat as’la) and its compassionate and creative urges (represented in the figure of ri ni’n). in this conceptualization, ri ni’n is actually the triumphant half and zhan tiri’s ‘consumption’ of her is representative of zhan tiri embracing that side of her nature and bringing herself into balance. this view is especially popular with the sect of the HRV that resides in antares. 

then of course there’s another perspective that is more grounded in scholarship on the abralian faith, where ri ni’n was this gatekeeper who kept this dangerous, malevolent force of destruction at bay and guarded the wellspring of life and so on, and from that perspective this is a matter of zhan tiri having triumphed over ri ni’n and the world now being in an apocalyptic epoch that will ultimately end in the utter destruction of everything. 

and there’s the, like, demanitus framework, which is based on his writings and accounts of his battles with not just zhan tiri but also other gods, which takes things a step further to suggest that all gods are hostile to mortal life and the only way to avert the growing apocalypse is to cut off the sublime realm’s access to the profane realm altogether by removing the cosmic bridge. which is precisely what demanitus did when he banished zhan tiri to the dark country.

and then there’s the entities of the sublime realm themselves, who have myriad personal opinions on zhan tiri slaying and devouring another god because she felt like it and tend to pass those views on to their own cults. one of the reasons it is nigh impossible to kill one of zhan tiri’s scions is you would need the help of another god to do it, and zhan tiri is the largest, oldest, and most powerful god around, notorious for being extremely attached to her scions, and also a proven god-killer. nobody wants to get eaten. even cathay, however willing she might be to antagonize zhan tiri in other ways, wouldn’t do it. 

and then there’s huma and turul, who as i said belong to the same ‘family’ as both zhan tiri and ri ni’n, and who i think were kind of like “zhan tiri what the fuck” about it. but it’s not like—despite the sibling analogy i keep using—it isn’t equivalent to the human horror that this situation, of one sibling killing and eating another, would provoke. everything ri ni’n was—her power, her magic, her essence—still exists. she isn’t dead, in the way that gods can die (by becoming unmoored from their domain, which shreds them and causes their magic to disperse into the sublime realm itself). she’s just. part of zhan tiri now. so for huma and turul it’s more of a “why in the world did you do this to yourself” sort of “zhan tiri what the fuck” than it is a “you murdered our sister?!” thing. 

...so yeah. the general consensus on this depends a lot on where and whom you ask gjksdjkf. i think the thorn syconium framework is the one closest to zhan tiri’s feelings on the matter, unless she’s in a mood. 

[dreamteamspace]

Introduction

Gen

they/him | Nonbinary | young adult | lgbtqa+ rights | I tag-talk a lot | You can call me Space! | I swear sometimes | I ship dnf

My Blogs/accounts:

@dreamspace-originals ONLY Reblogs of all my original (mcyt) content

@correct-mcyt-quotes Sideblog, posts only

(@allet-trash​ Main blog)

My MCYT Fanfics

Justice Well Served (AO3)

- “Dream has been fleeing his three persistant hunters for two months now. Life hasn’t been the same ever since the King demanded his head, and the more time goes on, the more he sees his future crumble. Maybe he never should have crossed him in the first place.

George and his two best friends have been sent on a neckbreaking mission to catch the most dangerous criminal in the kingdom of Rua. Guided by compasses and orders from the King, they’re determined to catch up very, very soon.”

(Long on-going work. I am writing this as chapter 20 is posted, and the work stands at 84.5k words currently. Here’s its tumblr post.)

Road Trip (If You Mean It) (AO3)

“George giggles despite himself. “Dream,” he says, and  Dream feels his heart firmly punch his chest. Somehow, the same effect of Sapnap looking more attractive in reality applies to George, except  fucking ten-fold. Sapnap teasingly whines something along the lines of  ‘what about me?’, but Dream barely hears him.

Dream takes a step  closer, suddenly very aware that George is as small as Sapnap is, a good  head smaller than him, only really reaching up to his chest. George has  to look up at him, a silent question in his eyes.

The glance upwards, all glittering dark eyes and dark hair and just George, is enough to slay him on the spot.

Dream doesn’t mean to sound so soft, his voice to be so drawled. “Can I hug you?”

George slides his bag off his shoulder, letting it hit the ground. “I- yeah.””

(“heat-waves-esque”  but the song is Road Trip by Dreamwastaken himself this time, because  Road Trip has been stuck in my head and Heat Waves has left me  emotionally in pain. Long on-going work. Tumblr post)

Obsidian (AO3)

- “Despite all his divine power, Dream ends up trapped in his own prison… surrounded by nothing but the darkness, his torturously immortal mind and four cold, obsidian walls.” (Complete oneshot. Please read tags/warnings on ao3 before proceeding to read. ~3.4k words. Tumblr post.)

(For more of my writing, you can check out the tag #space writes on my blog.)

✨ More details and tags/dni/personal info under the cut ✨

Info

This is a side-blog so you won’t see me in notes/likes! My main is allet-trash but I don’t post any mcyt there at all.

This blog is 95% mcyt. I lov the mcytblrs with all my heart and I’m happy to be part of this cool community. I browse the mcyt tag a lot. Feel free to yell at my inbox/DMs if u wanna.

If I leave you on read in DMs that’s cause tumblr ate my notifs, I read it and forgot to respond or I haven’t figured out what to say yet sdlkfj. I’ll get back to you eventually (But you can also toss me an ask to remind me if you want as soon as I haven’t responded within about 48 hours).

ABOUT ME

Name: I typically go by Space here, but feel free to call me whatever.

Pronouns/gender: they/them/he/him, with a preference for he/him. I’m nonbinary.

I support the lgbtqa+ community wholeheartedly: Aro/ace, Biromantic/bisexual, Trans (whether that be ftm, mtf, mtn or ftn), Lesbian/gay/their romantic versions, Panromantic/pansexual, agender, nonbinary, genderfluid and people with neopronouns. PLEASE tell me if I forgot something. Knowing me, I might have. If it’s not p*dophilia, I probably just forgot to mention it here.

Age: I’m a young adult, 18-26. When talking to someone in DMs, especially about ships/fanfic/nsfw, I might ask if you’re a minor or not to make sure I know who I’m talking to!

PERSONAL TAGS

#dreamteamspace speaks

Asks that I answer, oneshots, any original posts, when I add a lot of my own ideas/writing/opinions on posts that I reblog, and my digital art if I make any.

#space writes

In cases of oneshots, lore, ideas, sometimes vividly depicted theories and generally creative writing, I will tag posts with #dreamteamspace speaks AND #space writes.

#space art

my digital art!

#liveblogging - Whenever I’m liveblogging about a vod/stream/premier/etc.

#srb - self reblog, when reblogging a post I myself made, sometimes with an addition.

#fav - This tag saves things for me for later. Things I might want to rewatch/reread and that give me serotonin.

#ask - any asks I answer.

#anonymous ask - any anonymous asks I answer.

On tagging asks: When answering an ask, I can’t tag it immedietly, but have to go back to edit the ask and tag it (If there’s a way around this please tell me). If an ask isn’t tagged at all, wait about 20 seconds and refresh.

#negativity

Any non-positive posts, including fandom drama, valid criticism of ccs, warning posts, venting, ranting, pessimism and shipping discourse. /j’d posts that are meant positively do not fall under this tag.

I won’t reblog posts I fundamentally and fully disagree with, rather, I may fully agree with a post and still tag it as #negativity.

If you would like something tagged #negativity that is not tagged, do not be afraid to toss me an ask/DM and ask for me to tag it. If you’re not sure if it’s reasonable or not, just ask! I don’t bite.

I use this tag less than once a day on average.

#criticism

Any posts that are ALREADY tagged #negativity but are about valid criticism of ccs or the fandom, usually making a good point I agree with.

((I generally will not reblog political posts onto this blog. Instead I do that to my main blog, @allet-trash, where they are tagged #politics.))

IMPORTANT! I do not tag my swearing.

I fully understand it can be bothersome to some people, and I’ve tried to tag it on other blogs in the past and I just- don’t manage. I don’t swear every second sentence and sometimes I’ll try to tone it down. If you’re very bothered by swearing, either filter the words themselves or keep your distance.

TWs

I’ll tag general things such as blood/death/selfharm/etc. If you need something triggering tagged that is not tagged, please tell me. If I tag something #blood tw I will also tag it #blood for easier filtering. I sometimes tag mentions.

Tone indicators

I use /lh (light hearted), /hj (half-joking), /j (joking), /srs (serious)

DNI (Do not interact)

-anybody who thinks p*dophilia is a kink/orientation or in any way part of the lgbtqa community

-if you romantically ship ccs that are minors with other ccs. Same goes for shipping ccs in ways they’ve confirmed to not be okay with or if they’re not okay with shipping in general

-Please just respect CCs boundaries I beg of you it’s the least we can do

[eva-ace]

3 Sexiest men over 60: Chapter 2/3

Warnings: mostly SFW, curse words, 1900 words

Crossposted on AO3: Mira_Moriarty

Chapter 1 

Chapter 2/3: 

MAY 16th

“ I’m so nervous” All the reassurance you received that night before went out the fucking door. You were meeting your favorite celebs. The ones you thought about while touching yourself at night. You buried your face in your hands.

“OMG. “ The car stopped. Your assistant opened the door and slid out. You breathed and reassured yourself.

“ Be confident and be myself. “ You got out of the car. You squinted a bit because the sun was beaming. This lunch was a fancy bistro in a country club somewhere. You’d forgotten the name as soon as you heard it. The assistant led you up the stairs of the county club. It was super fancy. The stairs were made of white marble.

You took a deep breath. You were wearing a bright yellow dress that ended right above your knees. You knew you wore yellow well, it looked amazing on your dark brown skin. You wore a medium amount of makeup, just enough. You had shoulder length Afro coils that bounced as you walked up the marble stairs.

You entered the building and were met with another team of assistant/managers and etc.

You were ushered into a room and there they were. They were all sitting talking to each. Jeff let out a light laugh. He was wearing a white shirt, khaki bottoms and a blue jacket on top. He looked amazing. It like a dream they were right here in front of you. You heart began to race but you closed your eyes for a second and willed yourself to calm down and don’t be weird. You opened your eyes and at that moment they noticed you.

“ Hello. “ Jeff was the first to stand up. He shook your hand vigorously. He seemed excited. You felt a bit more confident by that.

“ Hi, Nice to meet you all. “ You flashed a bright smile. Jeff chuckled a bit. Willem shook your hand. He seemed a bit nervous or shy. Jeremy stared at you for a moment before regaining his senses and becoming more aloof.

The introductions were cut short as the managers shuffled everyone to the back patio of the country club. You all took your seats with Jeremy straight in front of you, Jeff to the left and Willem to the right.

A photographer began to snap photos.

“ Well tell me a bit about yourself. “ Jeff flashed you a smile. The nervous came back. You cleared your throat.

“ Well My name Y/N. I’m from NY. “ You went on to tell them a lot about you, your life and your work. Willem would ask a question once in a while but Jeremy only spoke once. Jeff wouldn’t stop he was just as nice in person as he was on TV.

“ That sounds amazing Y/N” Jeff laughed. The photographer finished snapping photos and switched to video. Waiters brought the food out. It was a preset menu of shrimp fettuccini alfredo. You loved pasta and had no problems with this. You enjoyed talking to them and relaxed a bit becoming more yourself. Willem was a bit shy but he seemed to be enjoying the conversation as much as you and Jeff were. The photographer finished taking video and left, leaving you alone with the three men to talk and eat in peace.

You were pretty hungry so you ate a bit too fast. You choked a bit. You quickly drank a bit of your wine and laughed at yourself.

Jeremy let out a snooty laugh clearly directed at you. You weren’t one to take bullshit.  You raised an eyebrow and glared at him a bit. He glared right back. You weren’t sure what his problem was he seemed to not want to participate in the conversation.

You all finished lunch. It was wonderful and you all headed to the mall to do some shopping. You rode in a separate car than them.

You had an allotted max you could spend at the mall.

The photographer took lots of photos and video for the first few minutes before stopping. Willem really enjoyed picking out shoes for you. He picked out a wonderful pair of heels. Willem kneeled down to put the shoe on you and you could see Jeremy give him a look of disdain. It pissed you off. You didn’t understand what the hell was his problem.

Willem and Jeff were exactly who you thought they would be but Jeremy was different. It felt like he hated you from the moment he saw you. It was irritating. You had to say something.

“ Do you have a problem with me? “ You directed the question at Jeremy who was standing a bit away.  Willem looked nervous. Jeff looked excited.

“ No. “ Jeremy gave you a short answer before walking away towards the bathrooms. You removed the show and quickly followed after him.

“ Hey. “ You grabbed his shoulder and pushed him against the wall. “I understand that you may have a problem with me for whatever reason but don’t ruin it for the rest of us. “ You crossed your arms.

Jeremy laughed at your outburst. You were taken aback.

“ I promise I wont ruin it. I won’t fawn over you like the rest of them. “

“ Huh? They aren’t fawning over me. “ You were shocked by his answer.

“ You can’t see it?  They’re head over heels.” Jeremy scoffed. You thought about it for a moment, they were paying a lot of attention to you but that was the point you won the contest. A thought popped into your head.

“ You’re jealous aren’t you? “ You smirked at him. You pointed a finger at his chest accusatory. He scoffed.

“ If you wanted my attention you could’ve just asked or tried to engage in conversation with me. “ You smiled softly. He stared at your lips as you smiled. You noticed and licked your lips subconsciously. In an instant his lips were on yours.

You were surprised but didn’t pull away you kissed him back moving your soft lips against him.

This is a dream.  It had to be. Jeremy snapped back to reality and pulled away. He looked into your eyes for a second before pushing you away and walking back down the hall to the others. You were stunned. Did he like me?

DINNER

You had a 2 hour-long break before meeting back with the others. You decided that you were going to woo the socks off all three of them. You could tell Jeremy wanted you but the others you were not so sure about. You regained your confidence and looked at yourself in the mirror. You were wearing one of your favorite dresses. It was red bodycon dress. It accentuated your ass and hips. You wore matching red lacy lingerie underneath and you put on the pair of heels Willem had picked out for you. You put on a bit more makeup and sent your friend a photo. She eventually texted you back You Slay! Get em. You laughed and got ready to head out to dinner.

Your assistant definitely frowned a bit when you met her at the car downstairs but didn’t say anything about it. You drove silently to the steakhouse. You wanted their attention to make Jeremy even more jealous. You knew Jeff liked to flirt and wouldn’t mind you flirting back.

When you entered the restaurant you realized you were dressed a bit odd for the venue but you didn’t let it bring your spirits down. You followed your friend’s instructions and walked like you were ready to fuck shit up in a good way. The moment Jeff, Jeremy and Willem looked at you, you knew you had them. Jeremy looked stunned and eyed you up and down. Willem was blushing like crazy and Jeff was just staring at your ass.

“ Hello. “ You smiled at them and sat down. You were sitting across from Jeremy again.

“ You look gorgeous. “ Jeff spoke first. He had a wild smile on his face.

“ I agree you look beautiful Y/N. “ Willem continued to blush. He noticed you were wearing the heels he picked out.

“ You both look absolutely sexy as well. “ Jeremy looked shocked at your reply. Jeff let out a loud laugh before bringing your hand to his mouth and kissing it. “ Thank you, darling. “ Jeff gave you a small wink.  Jeremy glared at him intensely. Jeff noticed but didn’t stop flirting.

“ What do you think, Jeremy? “ Jeff turned to him. “ Isn’t she just gorgeous? “ Jeff waited for Jeremy’s answer. Jeremy blushed a bit and didn’t look like he knew what to say. All the assistants and photographer had left the dining area as they had gotten all the footage they needed. The waiters brought in your food. The menu was preselected and everyone got steak and mixed veggies. You liked yours rare and bloody. In the middle of a bite a drop of juice from the steak dripped down your chin. Willem was the only one to notice.

“ Y/N you have a little food there. “ He pointed at your chin.

“ Here? “ You purposefully pointed to the wrong area.

“ No… Let me. “ Willem brought his finger to your face lightly brushing over your lips and wiping the juice from your chin. After he finished his eyes widened as he realized how inappropriate that seemed. Jeff eyed him with a smirk. Jeremy seemed pissed. You all continued conversing together with Jeremy barely speaking. You flirted mercilessly bringing Willem to a blush many times.

The allotted time for dinner was passing and you needed more time. You turned to Jeff.

“ I’m sad the nights almost over. “ You smiled at Jeff bringing your foot up and rubbing it against the inner part of his leg. He let out a slight cough in surprise. Jeremy eyed him suspiciously.

“ Well I suppose the night doesn’t have to end. “ He smiled. You brought your foot further up rubbing it between his thighs.

“We could head to my hotel. Have a few glasses of wine together. “ Jeff offered with a smile. You removed your foot and he seemed disappointed.

‘”Would you like that, Willem? “ You turned to your right towards him. You did that same and dragged your foot up his leg to his thigh. Surprising he grabbed your foot before you got any higher. He lightly touched your foot with his hand rubbing his thumb in circles. He eyed you hungrily. It made you wet instantly.

“ Yes. “ He spoke more forcefully then he had the entire day.

You all finished dinner and the tension in the room was thick. You joined the 3 in their van. Jeremy had barely touched his food during dinner and was visibly agitated. You flirted with Jeff and Willem the entire ride to the hotel. You had told your assistant that you were going to spend some more time with them. She eyed you with a knowing look but said nothing.

[certifiablyplatinum]

“‘Call the police’, cause I been arrested for an improper display of rockin’!” LCD Soundsystem at the Masonic Temple, Detroit

So, when I got notified of the “early bird sale” for this show waaaay back when in June,, I whipped out my plastic as I am wont to do without thinking…. of course I did. Because… James Murphy, and one of my favorite bands of all time. I consider LCD Soundsystem my Depeche Mode 2.0, and for anyone who knows me that’s all the summation that needs.

Well, because when you get old, time moves in a different way (as in, faster), summer basically didn’t happen, and before I knew it, it was time to hit the road to Detroit. I was beyond stoked, and played my favorite classics all morning as I finished up some work…. North American Scum, Losing My Edge (probably my favorite lyrics of any song,* and even more pointed AND poignant as an aging creative in my industry. Like, I GET that song:  “But I was THERE!”

Anyway- Russ (so game! So indulgent of my schedule dictations and crazy plans!) and I made our escape in the Escape and off we went. We checked into an Air B & B 3 hours later that seemed KIND of sketchy but was “actually really, really nice.”*  We poured some warm vodka into a solo cup I had brought along in my bag just in case (it pays to be prepared, and I can be weird about other peoples’ dishes) and about an hour later, after playing tunes and sitting on the bed looking at each other, we summoned an Uber and went to the Whitney, a gorgeous 1800′s mansion converted into a restaurant, dessert parlor, gardens, etc.  When Russ saw the white tablecloths he looked at me with wide eyes and said, “Holy shit” and promptly covered his “God Save the Queen” sex pistols shirt with a classy flannel. We agonized in stage whispers how to plan, mesh and merge our overeating vs. cocktailing- (Russ said somewhat accusingly: “THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A FULL FISH DINNER COMPLETE WITH SIDES AND BREAD YOU WENT HOME AND SLEPT”) along with figuring our budget for this meal, which there was none. So, I ordered a crab cake (playing it off with a coquettish “Oh, I don’t have much of an appetite!” to the waiter), and kept asking for more bread.  

Yes, I’m cutting to the chase, but I like to add a little background flavor to my “reviews” (which are turning into stories.) Anyway, we ate our way to a pleasant satisfaction, NOT stuffage (key to a good evening.) We left the Whitney and popped into another Uber and got dropped off in front of the imposing, castle-like Masonic Temple theatre (the largest in the world.)  It was about 7:30, and the line already snaked around the building. As we exited our Uber, we were met by my fellow LCD fan and Columbus-ite, Kerrie, and her BFF Dani, who had also road-tripped up. We gathered together and moved simultaneously in a clump until we reached the front doors and presented our tickets.

Inside was already a bit of pandemonium. The auditorium was the size of the indoor LC, (oops, Express Live) with the ornate-ness of the Ohio Theatre, with arches leading through to aisleways into the venue and beverage/snack counters like the Schott or any basketball arena.. Kerrie and Dani had balcony seats so up they went, and Russ and I made our way to the floor. (Earlier Russ had asked, “Is there an opener?” I had said, “I bet there will just be a DJ” and bingo.) Thudding bass beats blasted into the auditorium, and I rocked out with my Rum and Diet once we found a seat. Get this.  Our seats were on the aisle, second row from the floor.  (The whole show was GA, and I couldn’t believe what a great spot we got.) It was like being on the floor, but– I could see better because we were elevated a bit OVER the floor, and I could sit if I damn well chose to do so.

The DJ spun, the floor in front of us filled, and before I knew it the place was maxium capacity, with people even spilling into the aisles.  A wisp of smoke, a darkened stage, and the screams began… as the opening notes of the first track off their new album, “Oh Baby” filtered into our eardrums.  The build of swirling, tinkling keys sounded like a fairy tale, or Tinkerbell, or making one feel they  should be standing in a darkened field with stars swirling dizzingly around them in sparkling rotation.

I was agog at taking in the sight of James Murphy (and all his gear!), my shaggy-haired hero. Who IS this odd genius, cool yet mad, hipster yet pushing 50, dapper yet rough, a singer/songwriter/drummer/pianist/programmer/DJ/mixmaster? Such a hodgepodge of talent, so much so that I can’t pin him down with a word. He almost seemed as if he was the maestro of an orchestra, or big-band leader at a supper club, in his white shirt and black jacket (and  black jeans). For the entire show, he was the beacon  on the stage that everyone revolved around.  Even when laying down the most danceable beats, he stood  tall and composed, a beam of light shining upon him.

After the magical vibe of “Oh Baby” faded away, the band launched into a rapid-fire, doubletime, raw take on “Daft Punk is Playing at My House”, causing a frenzy of moshing and screaming. The stage turned red under the lights, fists were pumped, and a cowbell made a bold and badass appearance:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLWUIy0dvTk&feature=youtu.be

“Call the Police”, with its deep bass riff toward the end (ba bum bum bum da da ad DA da, repeat) slayed the crowd;  like “Daft Punk…”, the tempo was amped considerably. In fact, most songs were played with a driving, energetic urgency, almost as if the band couldn’t keep up with themselves. Everything was spot-on… clear vocals, an assured presence, drummers that bounced up and down as they slammed the sticks– James hit every high note with thoughtful preparation… (’we don’t waste time with…love”). He commands this song with Bono-like intensity. (I think he sounds like Bono on a lot of the new album, if you must know).

Get Innocuous, You Wanted a Hit,  ferocious and fun, blasted out next.  And then, I made a critical error. Fateful, dare I say.  Like Icarus soaring cockily to the sun, because I have done this hundreds of times before with no negative consequence… I left to “bring back drinks.”  

I headed up the packed aisle and walked down the marble steps to the basement- the quickest and closest bar. I pulled my sweaty 20 from my bosom and got a bottle of water, a Pabst (lol) for Russ, and a rum and diet. After waiting 10 minutes, I gathered my sundries and climbed back upstairs, finding my entry way to “aisle 3.”  And I was met by a wall of bodies. No, more like..a CONE of bodies, packing every square, breathable atom of space and air from the top of the entryway down to the floor. My 5′2 self, carrying three beverages, pushed boldly on, and then confusedly, and then feebly.  The oxygen was sucked from my lungs, I was being eaten alive by warm, sweaty, douchebag bodies as they sucked me in the Upside Down like Barb.  My cracking, forlorn, yet agitated voice called “RUSS..” (dear God, why. The auditorium was powering out decibels with the same power of the sun.)  It was so dark, so loud, so packed, I didn’t even know where I was heading.  To top it all off, in the cruelest sense of irony, during my time of woe the band was blissfully singing their gentlest, saddest song, “Someone Great.” As I pushed and sloshed through the Upside Down of bodies, my wrists wet from rum, a ragged sob burst forth from my throat.  I sensed I was getting close to the floor… and then I was being grabbed and clawed, some colossal dickhead grabbing the neck of my shirt to keep me from getting through, grabbing my drink and spilling it, and then his friends laughing – I felt I was in a fucking funhouse hall of horrifying mirrors. Like, if it was a movie, I would have seen their faces in slow mo moving toward me with deep, slowed-down, “HA, HA, HA’s.”  Somehow, I found myself on the floor, which meant I had bypassed my second row seat. As the haunting lyrics, “when someone  great is gone… when someone great is gone…” were being sung, in a weird way I trying to listen to it  I was pissed I was missing it, while the rest of me was painfully aware I had no idea how to find Russ. Would Russ be singing those lines about me when I never returned?  I wondered forlornly. A girl yelled - “YOU’RE ON THE FLOOR” and I stared at her blankly and yelled back, “I’M ON THE FLOOR?”  All my instincts could do was send me away from the floor. Like a penguin on their programmed quest for winter food, I marched back toward the packed aisle. My foot felt a step up- I had made the front row.  My eyes scanned the seats, and finally I saw Russ standing. I shoved my way into any available hole that a human body made as it stood next to another human body it was not connected to, and I slithered my way to my (unbelievably) still-empty seat.  I collapsed, tossed Russ his pabst, and wiped an exhausted, emotional , drunken tear from my cheek, barely able to blurt: “I WAS ASSAULTED AND THE AISLE WAS PACKED.”  I then slammed the remaining droplets  at the bottom of my spilled drink.

SO, YEAH!  ‘Someone Grea’t was… great. (It really was. I was hyperaware of it as I was going through my trauma.) Once settled, though, I shook it off, and danced with vigor at Yr City’s a Sucker and Tonite, Tonite (which sounds like a Daft Punk song. Ironic? Discuss.).

“We’re going to the bathroom, then we’re coming back,” James informed the crowd, so we settled down a bit because I had a feeling that Dance Yrself Clean may be one of the encores… I was not disappointed!  It put a worthwhile capper on the whole evening. “Ahhh ahhhhhh, ahhh ahhh….” rang out the harmonies, with the chirpy RD2-D2 synth sounds peppering underneath, and then, the big, bold, reverb-y breakdown…. ahhhh! Washed clean. Danced clean.

Here I am, sweaty with the abovementioned cleanse.  I look like I’ve been through the “wringer”, so to speak. Hot mess!:

(as my POS phone had died, I was begging Russ to document the evening in a photographic sense.) Anyway, we weren’t quite sure what to do because we were both feeling pretty rough and tired at this point… so we wandered toward the casino.  Once we got there, we sat down at a metal table in a glorified food court, looked at each other and said, “what the hell are we doing here?”  I really just wanted a huge bottle of water, and maybe a sub. Like- Justin and Karly, if you are reading this, I really just wanted that pizza place/bar we stumbled into on the way back from the U2 show in Cleveland. Quiet, dark,dumpy, whatever. SOOOO, we ubered back to the air b & b (in Lafayette Park- which I am reading was a hotbed for Mies Van Der Rohe’s’ residential buildings, and I wonder if the apartment building we stayed in was one of them?)

I had a half a bottle of water waiting for me from earlier, which I chugged; I ripped out my contacts, changed into my slug clothes, and hopped in bed. I wondered aloud if I would be able to sleep– many times after a concert I am too jacked up, especially when rum & diet is involved. Like a magical elf, Russ rolls toward me, producing a Klonopin he takes for his own sleep issues.  I cracked the hell up.  Russ then literally proffered it on his finger and put it in my mouth, saying in a creepy voice, “Take it, kid… just let it dissolve and see the rainbow.”  Holllllllyyyy  shite.

So- I love this band, they are a sinuous, living, silvery, fluid octopus of harmony and rhythm, soft and loud, thundering and syncopated and layers of weirdness and stops and starts.  As I read weeks ago– the only band who could produce a 9-minute pop song and leave you wanting more.  WHO are they? WHAT do they create?  Just like me getting trapped in a throng of screaming, pulsating bodies, there are some things we may never understand.

[survivorindia]

Whatever Forever- jaiden (Episode 3)

Anyway!!!!!!!! I just got elimed and whew I'm just feeling so many emotions. Maybe I shouldn't have thrown the immunity to save lexi, maybe I should've kept ace over Ashley,maybe I never really had a chance in this game in the first place. Overall? I just feel bad for promising lexi that I'd help keep her in the game and then immediately flopping, and for Kendall, leaving my one tru ally by herself, I hope the swap goes in her favour and that both of them can vote out the rest of the returnee heroes, some revenge is always nice TBH. Ashley, gav and Alex, I really did trust two of you and I was gonna stay loyal so it sucks that y'all flipped so easily, of course the fact that Ashley had an idol probably wasn't the best thing, but we could've figured something out. I hope the three of you get elimed soon or at least prejury bc you know the great dan whatever his last name is said flippers never win and well it's no fun seeing snakes get far either TBH ! And I know y'all won't be reading this til later but good luck newbies I hope y'all truly slay this game bc really some of these returnees I would really rather see get elimed except maybe Kendall and Jordan pines. This has been a fun game for the most part, the challenges were great, the hosts were greater (even David Robb) and I met some good people in my short stay here! Do I have some regrets? Yeah but I wouldn't have wanted to play this game any other way. Keep an eye out for me in the returnee season :~) single digits I'm still coming for ya!

So not much has happened this round. We won, yet again. And my #1 ally out of everyone in this game, my good friend Monte, was sadly voted out. But best believe I'm gonna win this game for him!

What in the heckie is Nicole doing?

What the FUCK? These people need to CHILL out. It's our fault - we made the mistake, the hosts don't have to babysit us every step of the way. Now we gotta own it and win this tiebreaker - honestly, Danny g'luck (I WAS FORCED TO MAKE THIS S/O) to these people, because they are getting on my nerves with their complaining rn. 

We keep winning. I love that. But Jordan Pines might wanna blindside me... so to that I say:

Am I exaggerating? A little bit. I think. I don't know. I'm being weird and emotional so idk what the fuck I'm actually thinking... I hope I get voted out next at this point yay

Okay, everyone listening? Two common misconceptions about pegging: If a man likes pegging, he must be gay. If you peg a straight man, he will become gay. Cue Laughter and Eye Roll - Both of these are so ridiculous as to be laughable on so many levels. Gender preference has nothing to do with the sex toys you like to play with...or the area of your body you like your partner to play with. For those of you who have fears around this - please excuse the laughter...though I do find the concept quite humorous. Think of it this way...If a straight man enjoys getting pegged by a woman there is no reason whatsoever to think that all of a sudden he will crave sex with men. Just like if a straight woman enjoys receiving oral sex from a man there is no reason whatsoever to think that she will suddenly want to be a lesbian. See how silly that sounds? (Now if the man is bisexual, just ignore all this and go to the next blog post because he prefers both genders so these points are moot.) A man who wants his ass fucked is gay, you say? Bullshit. (I seem to be in a sassy mood tonight.) Remember, the male ass is the source of an amazing amount of pleasure via the prostate gland. Whether a man experiences that pleasure from his lady's finger(s), his own finger(s), a toy (there are so many), his lady’s strap-on, a butt plug, his partner's finger(s) or his partner's cock makes no difference. All of the above are simply various examples of the pursuit of pleasurable sensations from an ass. Many really nice toys are specifically made for anal pleasure! That should give you a bit of pause. Maybe the people buying these items know something....just like the 150 - 200 million gay men in the world. But wait - I'm probably confusing you... Unexplored Ecstasy - The point here is that anal exploration is about pleasure, not an indicator of gender preference. What I find a shame is that so many straight men will not indulge in that pleasure because of these misconceptions along with the bullshit social stigma attached to it. Maybe it's just me (standing here ready with my strap-on), but that sounds like a lot of pleasure being abstained from...and oh my the word abstinence  in any form is not a popular one amongst the pleasure seekers that have found their way to Pegging Paradise! I am certain there are men out there who secretly would love to have their ass teased with...well, a variety of things. These men hesitate to ask for it because they fear their partner's reaction to their request or the reaction of others if they found out. All of this is fed by the original misconceptions as well as a puerile dose of idiotic homophobia. Get over it, people! I know...easier for me to say here in Southern California when some of you might be in conservative strait-laced sex-negative hell somewhere. But hey - we need to start somewhere, right? Are you going to let other people's narrow-minded attitudes affect your pursuit of pleasure in the privacy of your own bedroom (hotel room, board room, etc)? I think not. No Fear - So Ladies, I urge you to get over your own fears that if you fuck your man in the ass with a strap-on dildo the gay fairy will instantly appear and sprinkle him with magic gay dust and you will lose him forever to his own gender. Okay? If you can't let go of that fear, you have no business strapping on a dildo. I mean really...are you going to follow him around after you fuck him and be suspicious of all of his encounters with males? Let it go, ladies. And when you get your man where you want him and you have your way with him...don't kiss and tell. Especially if you live in one of those strait-laced sex-negative hell places I spoke of previously. Instead, treasure the vulnerability your man has shared with you and let him know that come hell or high water or nosy girlfriends, he can trust you to keep that part of your sex life confidential. Pleasure Seeking - Gentlemen, the other part of the formula here is you. If you are clear about which gender you prefer, that's your stable base. Do your best to let go of any homophobic comments you have heard, read or even, heaven forbid, said. Your anus is a part of your body that, when properly stimulated, offers a whole new world of pleasure. Orgasms with anal stimulation are most times much more intense and produce much more cum (that's always fun). Given just that, why wouldn't you want to at least check it out? If you love it, all that means is that you love getting fucked with a strap-on by the woman who makes you hot. There is no "Insta-gay" phenomenon that happens if your lady pegs you. As one man put it: I like breasts with my strap-on, thank you! Pegger/Peggee - Wouldn't it be awesome if people who were into pegging walked around in T-Shirts that said, simply, "Pegger" or "Peggee"? I mean - relatively few people who are not kink-oriented know the sexual meaning of the word so lovingly created by Dan Savage. So the masses of people leading lives of quiet desperation (read: sex-negative) wouldn't have a clue what it meant. And if asked, one could always say with a smile, "Look it up on Wikipedia". Just make sure it's a cat-that-ate-the-canary smile as you say the words and they just might look it up. Presto, you have just spread the word about a luscious, sexy, pleasure-filled act that couples can add to their carnal repertoire. You may have changed their lives forever...in a rather explosive way.

AHAHAHAHAHA @GAVIN

THOSE BOYS WANT TRIBAL TN BECAUSE WE LOST IMMUNITY AND IM SO FUCKING NERVOUS I DONT WANT TO DIE I HAVE SO MANY PLANS IF JORDAN SACRIFICE ME FOR NICOLE OKOKOKOK 

So... mission successful. Let's quickly debrief: 1. Ashley trusts me a lot more after I told her details that Alex told me in private. Making Ashley feel like she was on shaky ground further resulted in her letting me know that she has an idol. Whether or not it is true is besides the point... the true crux of the matter is that I have Ashley left in the game with three people she can't trust and me... so that means I ought to be her #1. 2. Alex and I are as tight as ever. Even despite giving Ashley information, I was able to quickly fix that bond. I genuinely like and trust Alex, but I can't let the cloud my judgement. He's very close to Kendall, which scares me, but I have looked to leverage that in our post-tribal call. In my conversations with Alex, I want to make him feel like he is calling the shots while still looking to provide input. Thus far, I think I have done that. With Ashley allegedly having the idol (information that was supposed to be "kept secret" but was totally not "kept secret" xD), I have talked to Alex extensively about the next vote and I've made a deal with him to take out Karen rather than Kendall... while also *hopefully* keeping Ashley's idol in play. My goal here is to come out of this with both Ashley and Alex working independently, but all in all, nonetheless in my best interests. In short, the way this tribe seems to be shaking out is that there is this façade of autonomy and power that Karen and Kendall have. They have this illusion that they call the shots, while it really is Alex and I that hold the cards in this dynamic. Kendall, to get Alex completely on my side... I need to spare you to gain his trust, BUT MARK MY WORDS I'M GOING FOR YOU! *Nothing against you, just your social game is very very strong but annoyingly obvious too ;3* Oh. And Ace got voted out too... I guess.

I never really made an opening confessional, so here I go I guess? I am really... really excited to be back. It's so easy for so many people to say "Oh yeah I've played a ton, people want me back." We see it with a ton of people, and that's not a bad thing. People want to see them back for a big reason. But I never had that. Coming off of Malaysia I was hated and people did not really respect me for who I was and thought that I was some awful person and player. It definitely hit me hard a bit, but at the time I was like, okay that's fine, there's other seasons. Tumblr does a lot. And so I applied. I applied for Sri Lanka with Marie and didn't make it. I applied for Rebels vs Rogues and didn't make it. I applied for Bora Bora and didn't make it. I believe I applied for Generations and wasn't casted, or I didn't believe I was going to have time due to time conflicts. I wasn't contacted for Maldives. I missed the application for Tenochtitlan. I applied for Sicily and didn't make it. I believe I applied for Bangladesh and didn't make it. I wasn't contacted for Arabia (though there may have been apps and I missed it). I wasn't contacted for Myanmar. And I was super excited to finally get this chance to play in Lazio but I missed the acceptance of my application. And going back to all the times I had tried to play or just was kind of ignored it was rough. I kind of thought I was done. And now I'm here playing in India. After over a year on and off of trying to play this game again. And to be honest, I'm hella pumped. Because I've missed out on so many chances to play. I think it says something when even parts of my Malaysia cast aren't even excited to see me on the season. This is kind of my opportunity to prove people wrong. My personality showed even at this Tribal where I literally told Gavin his answer to the Tribal Question was awful and completely wrecked Ace after he wished us a heartfelt goodbye. I want people to know that I am playing as hard as I can. I'm not here to change who I am to impress people. I'm here to show who I am so that I can prove to people that I'm not some worthless player who doesn't deserve to be back; I definitely feel like some people think that is the truth. I'm going to prove people wrong. Count on it.

I know I said I wanted to be a villain but goddamn, this is pretty fucked up. Oh right context because mind reading technology hasn't been invented quite yet. To make a long story short, Karen made an alliance chat with our victim (Ashley) and now it has a name and now it is terrible. Alex brings up voting Karen and that raisin I call a heart was all like "YAAASS QUEEN!" And my brain was tempted by the #bigmove but getting rid of Karen... is truthfully not to my benefit. Sure Karen is manipulative but she seems to trust me. She confides in me with information and she includes me in all her fucked up little schemes. In a sense, I'm the Trish to her Tony. If Trish and Tony were two gay and emotionally stunted children of course. Plus she has the connections to the other side that could get us far into the game and I am confident enough in our friendship that she will stay by my side. Of course, I will remain wary of her but for now I think our relationship is mutually beneficial. Karen needs me for back up in her schemes. I need Karen to get where I want to get. She gives me information. Information I can collect in to a giant web of evidence, so when the day comes when I turn on her, I'll have the evidence via receipts to back me up. Karen never deletes anything, I am planning on using that to my advantage.

So I was reallllyyyyyy close to using my idol tonight, and I totally would have wasted it if I had. Gavin advised me that I would be okay, and so did Alex and Kendall but like something didn't feel right. I had heard that Ace heard my name from Karen and I was like well shit. She had literally just today come to me and told me that we were all good and that she didn't hold the last game we played together against me. Like there are no hard feelings. but due to everything that was happening I kind of doubted that. But tbh I love Gavin and Alex and really hope we can work together for the next few rounds. Or even longer, who knows. I still am unsure about Karen and Kendall, as I don't really know them that well. But hopefully everything works out.

Oh I also definitely told Gavin I have an idol.... idiot move? We shall see. 

I am so glad we won immunity. It for sure would have been me or Lexi next if we had gone to tribal. It looks like Johnny and Whitney aren't too upset that I didn't vote with them but I can't take my chances. I had been searching for the idol for a while with no luck so I asked Lexi to help me find it. She found it within a few hours lol. We didn't find the idol but we found the idol grid. It's relieving to know it couldn't have been found right away. This gives me and her time to find it. Hopefully we'll get it before anyone else and we'll be set for the rest of the time on this tribe. I doubt anyone else on our tribe has found the idol page or would suspect that we found it. I'm thinking long term so the game plan would be using the idol on lexi and getting rid of Liam. If we happen to go to a tribal council after that we could try to get Whitney or Johnny to flip to our side. Even if they don't want to we can always force a tie so Lexi and I still have a strong chance of succeeding. We just have to find that idol!

This has been a crazy round. I'm glad the immunity challenge was changed to something that required more skill. The tribe worked very well as a team. There's an obvious divide between us so I'm glad we were able to get some time to bond and unite. As for the results, it was upsetting that the returnee heroes made such a big deal out of not getting theirs in on time. The rules clearly stated it was first to 10 pm. I'm sure we would've accepted defeat if we didn't send it faster than them. It was bad sportsmanship on their part. The tiebreaker was so stressful. I stepped up and I was so afraid of letting the team down. I knew if we went to tribal my only ally left, Lexi, would be voted off. There was a lot of pressure on me and I was honestly so anxious. I felt so victorious beating Kendall by 7 minutes. I hope my tribemates remember this next time we go to tribal and don't vote me out. I feel like I've done a lot for our tribe so I think I'm safe for now. I'm really hoping the tribe swap comes within the next two rounds. We can only win so many immunities and Lexi and I are on the bottom so we really need it asap.