#he forgave me i think
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(Mostly) Harumi centric doodle page for a friend
#mortal kombat 1#mk1#mortal kombat#harumi shirai#tomas vrbada#mk smoke#kuai liang#mk scorpion#hanzo hasashi#I still donât know how to feel about her and Kuai Liang#unless nrs releases more content#I dunno I think they have potential to be a cute couple but for now itâs still sus#also! I love to hc that harumi got Tomas to open up to kuai#cause uhhh the Lin Kuei kinda killed his family#so harumi is like âey bro theyâre not so bad when you get to know them⊠except for bi Han⊠fuck that guyâ#bi Han would highkey make a tree house and put up a âno girls allowedâ sign and she never forgave him for that#if bi Han ends up being the reason she dies in this timeline it would kinda be funny cause heâd be like âI never liked youâ#and sheâd be like âme neither you stupid boyâ#and heâs like âyknow what this isnt even about kuai liang anymore- screw youâ#doodles#my art
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Joels kind of like a shonen mc in wild life especially the finale, where once he declares you part of his "family" you can't hurt him. Not that you can't try to, everybody except gem and grian tried to kill him many many times, it's just when they do they can barely graze him, hell half the time he's not even aware that they're trying to kill him and even when he is he just shrugs it off (there is something deeply wrong with him)
#it's like after his first death to jimmy he developed an immunity to any âfamilyâ related threats#in which he also forgave jimmy and lizzie for killing him in like 2 seconds#like in the finale lizzie tries to blow him up and fails#I'm pretty sure scar's rollercoaster was also supposed to be rigged to kill him but failed (I haven't watched his ep yet)#jimmy brings the ravanger to kill him (again I think) but joel's just like let me help you with that mate#etho tries to help scott kill him but ends up accidently killing scott instead#and he's so nonchalant about all of his âfamilyâ members' attemps on his life the way only a shonen mc could be#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans#wild life#wild life spoilers
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"He waited for the moment when he felt it was right. He wanted to do it for years really. I think itâs out of envy and anger. But I don't think it was something that he particularly enjoyed doing it. He didn't want to talk anymore because he knew Juan could change his mind. It was hard for Cesare to kill his brother." â François Arnaud.
#:(#david oakes: âjuan apologizes to his brother and gives his heart to him and he still gets stabbed and thrown off a bridge.â#âif cesare had listened to what juan was saying...he wouldn't have gone through with the act of killing his little brotherâ#i just love how both david and françois agree on the same thing...interesting#that being said...i just think it's so hypocritical how he said that they're borgias and they never forgive-#then 5 mins later he was begging for rodrigo to grant him his forgiveness like hello??#those final words âwe're borgias. we never forgiveâ right after juan openly forgave cesare ... the last words juan ever heard#that's so cruel rip especially when juan's character core is how he struggles from insecurities and if he's a true borgia or not#it saddens me how juan was so cheerful and fun-loving the he slowly spiraled into darkness by everyone's treatment of him#and this part is so cold because cesare is suppposed to be the older brother you know? but oh well#juan borgia#david oakes#cesare borgia#the borgias#theborgiasedit#periodedits#perioddramaedit#juan and cesare#by jen
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Played through a murder of crows again with crow rook this time and I really love that quest
- âI wasnât invited ):â âyou can be my date :)â dkdjsjdhhsj
- finding out Lucanis grew up in a huge mansion on a huge estate and is very ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ about it
- âwhy does such a huge house need a guest house??â âFor guestsâ
- Teia and Viago being about 3 seconds from taking Illario out themselves before we get there
- Teia and Viago heckling Rook the entire fight
- âROOK. DONâT EMBARRASS HOUSE DE RIVA.â âRook! Hit him again! Harder!!â
- Putting Viago on murderous coup cousin babysitting duty indefinitely
- Lucanis immediately wanting to sneak out of his own promotion party just to go back to the light house to drink coffee in the dark (relatable)
#I forgave Illario this time even though I fully believe homeboy needs to pay for his crimes#I think it feels better in the grand scope of Lucanisâ story to forgive him#desperately wish we got some kind of insight into how the family dynamic changes after this#let me see family dinner post-coup attempt#also would love to see how Viago âdoes his bestâ with Illario#the antivan family drama is so good#kinda wish you got a larger part in that whole situation as a crow rook but whatever#ilu Lucanis canât wait to get married and be part of this huge mess#datv#Veilguard#OH ALSO#I need more spite#he had a bunch of lines in the beginning because he was excited about Murder#and then he didnât get to murder#and he didnât have anything to say about it???#where was the epic hissy fit#heâs just so absent after this quest and I miss him ):
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Iâm going to need people to STOP comparing the badly written king from wish to almađ
#saw someone say itâs man hating#yâall were not there in 2022 alma was getting attacked left right and centre#like just cause wish couldnât decide what they wanted to do with him doesnât mean heâs like alma#this makes me think itâs actually the opposite#if alma was a man she would not have gotten that much hate#look I understand being disappointed about his story and how bad the writing is#but alma never became like a possessed dictator so#also no mirabel would not have forgave him instantly and she didnât forgive alma instantly#encanto#encanto disney#disneys encanto#mirabel madrigal#abuela alma madrigal#they never showed the king as remorseful so itâs not really the same#alma literally went to the birthplace of her trauma just to see if mirabel was ok#enough alma slander!!!#mirabel encanto#disneyâs encanto
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earthbound
#got to the part in happy happy where Porky/Pokey asks to be friends again#and it's messing with me Hard#So much of his behavior finally makes sense#his room in thunder tower in mother 3#He just wanted to be friends again#and when Ness responded with silence#which he probably did because of how porky had been treating him#porky took it as a rejection and then promptly went off the deep end#went down and down the spiral track until#well#whatever happens next. i'm still playing earthbound#i like to think his behavior in mother 3 is all to make things ârightâ again in his mind#maybe he started messing with time travel because he wanted to find a timeline where ness forgave him#but over time#he realized that it wouldn't work. and then his goal shifted from âmake ness forgive meâ#to âprevent anyone from having what i'm not allowed to haveâ#ie: a healthy relationship#earthbound#this could be totally inaccurate but. just my thoughts after seeing that scene for the first time
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Me: *wonders if I'm a Truly Bad Person*
Also me: *feels extreme guilt and heartbreak because I accidentally made Sherb mad at me*
#i think my controller kept drifting into him when i wasnt looking and he called me a big meanie and started huffing and puffing đđ„ș#i felt So. Bad. like thats my lil baby boy#he forgave me but still#thoughts#sunflower#sherb#sherb animal crossing#sherb ac#ac sherb#ac villager#ac villagers#animal crossing villagers#acnh#new horizons#animal crossing community#animalcrossing#animal crossing nintendo#animal crossing fan#animal crossing#animal crossing new horizons#lazy villagers#lazy villager#villager interactions#acnh blog#animal crossing blog#ac community#animal crossing fandom#ac new horizons#newhorizons#new horizonsacnh community
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always darkly funny to me that rye really went through the whole story sucessfully going '*deep breath* if there's to be any hope for this world we must always hold to mercy. mercy, mercy, mercy, in the faith that new flowers might one day bloom on ancient graves' and then at the very last possible hurdle goes 'actually you know what. mercy rescinded. murder time now'. it's so not the character arc I expected him to have going in but I am absolutely DELIGHTED that that is how it shook out, it's so fraught and complicated and chewy. my secretly vengeful babyboy. local man joins the cyclical nature of violence on the side of violence at the last possible minute, fully aware that he's missing the point but too pissed off and plain done with this shit to care, beware the fury of a patient watcher etc., maybe you should have thought about it a bit harder before you made me quite so much in your own image. (I love the fact that this means he echoes exactly what he did to baron van markham before the start of the game once more. solas this could have been predicted if you'd been paying attention lol the last guy who really pissed him off could fit in an envelope now) and then once the most acute bloodlust fades he has to spend the rest of his life wondering what varric and harding would have thought, because he'll never get to ask them; 'we'll never get to fix it', as taash says. what is it going to be like, having to forgive yourself while not knowing if someone you loved would do the same. sooooo much delicious narrative space to work with here. at least lucanis is there to go 'nah u good. you want pancakes? I was thinking about making pancakes' lol emotional support ride or die or stab bae <3
gravekeeper left once more with nothing but a grave and a 'varric I'm sorry you thought I was a hero but unfortunately. I am just me' in his heart he never gets to hear the answer to :') delicate thematic echoes and overtones of hawke once more. now you're gone and all I have left of you are stories.
(in some strange ways I think it's a more honest appreciation/appraisal of solas' virtues than the redeem ending would be for rye specifically though. the main upside to the redeem ending outside of any emotional attachment you have to solas himself (I know I do! I did go into this game with a decade of wanting to save this motherfucker from himself behind me, let's not get anything twisted) is his stated intent to try to soothe the dreams of the titans and so maybe end the blight once and for all. but the thing is... is anything stopping him from doing that if you fight him or especially when you trick him and he is lucid enough to eat his humble pie with something like grace? with seemingly all of eternity to maybe chill out and really think about it, is he incapable of reaching that conclusion rationally and compassionately on his own?? my angle on it for my own sake (not rye's. rye does not give a fuck at that point either way lol) ended up being something like hey solas I know -- I know!! -- there is goodness in you and I am DONE trying to hold on it for you. I love you but I love you like an adult and that means I can't keep taking responsibility for your actions. either you wisen up in your veil babyjail timeout and start to help ease the pain you caused because it's the right thing to do on your own damn initiative (WHICH AGAIN I THINK YOU'RE FULLY CAPABLE OF! I can see in you the things cole saw in you even if you're happy to throw them all on your bonfire of martyrdom), or get off the fucking board already this is not actually a game, I can't afford to gamble on you like this when the stakes are 'everything and everyone'. and no we don't know how that's going to work out long-term, but neither can you know it will work out when he sets out to do it intentionally. if anything, considering solas' track record with his actual stated plans... it might conceivably cause less trouble in the long run fhaskj.
anyway I think the ending choices are quite interesting that way, and not quite as black and white as they seem at first glance. the redeem ending is of course the most straightforwardly 'breaking the cycle' 'right' option thematically, but I'm glad they acknowledge that it stretches credulity very nearly to the point of utter irresponsibility to gamble on solas changing his mind and not stabbing you in the back this time, for sure. I know he did it again literally five minutes ago, but this time he'll prove himself! as the player we can find out and kind of expect our faith will be finally rewarded b/c story structure and gaming conventions and so on, but rook has no way of knowing that going in, and it starts to veer close to the definition of insanity territory at some point. I love solas, and it's good that you have the option to put his turmoil to rest and help him come to peace with himself (in my other playthrough I will!). but the fate of the world is not and should not be contingent on one man's goodness, is what I think I'm trying to say. if the game is telling you anything it's that the world is way weirder, more diverse and more resilient than that. even through the blight flowers can grow. with or without you, along with you or in spite of you, we will thrive. and I don't think 'you have to make your own choice here and reap the consequences, I can't and I don't have the responsibility to make it for you' is the wrong conclusion to draw, necessarily, it's just a conclusion. I'm so impressed by how solas is written in this game, there truly are so many conflicting things about him that are true at the same time and depending on the perspective you choose to bring to it.)
#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#solas#Dynamic: That my keen knife see not the wound it makes#also I think being surprised by the thing my character did is symptomatic of how much rook can feel grounded in the world#rye really does feel less like an rpg protagonist and more like some guy who already existed in thedas and whomst I get to love#and also sometimes I get to choose what he says lol but the 'he wouldn't fucking say that' moments are few and far between#this post happened to me while I should have been doing something else more productive. but what else is new lol#rose de riva is going to have the opposite arc where it's like... an eye for an eye population: you right up until the end where she's like#actually. how many eyes are we going to go through this is getting kind of silly. don't you just. want to go home. i want to go home#you're a loyal hound I'm a loyal hound. we're not so different you and I but I forgave viago for letting go of me somewhere along the way#I think you kind of need to do the same thing bro. your girlfriend is in the car outside and she seems pretty worried about you ngl#I'm tired of going ape shit. I just want to be nice#(she passes rye 'I AM tired of being nice I DO want to go ape shit!!!!' ingellvar in the door and nods understandingly. been there buddy)#that's why they call it an arc bayBE and my two blorbos are on the opposite trajectories that way haha#long post
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Seeing the same people who perpetuated or sent vicious misogynistic hate to Hannah Schmitz, as well as disgusting racist abuse towards Yuki and Alex because of FUCKING CONSPIRACY THEORIES and those who just straight up ignored it, now up in arms regarding whatever the fuck is going on between the FIA and the wolffs is beginning to piss me off. Because now that it's not someone red bull affiliated involved, it's somehow now unacceptable.

#f1#formula 1#formula one#who knows wtf is going on not the fia and not the teams but anyways#i will say toto needs to be investigated because of previous info breaches#but I've been saying that for years long before F1 academy was ever a thing#there's just been too many instances of him having info he shouldn't and things quietly and quickly changing for his benefit#I'm tired and stressed with trying to finish everything up for the semester hence why I've been less active#but this is just pissing me off#i never forgot or forgave the bs and abuse hannah yuki and alex got and i won't ever forget or forgive#i remember after monaco 22 i saw the anti red bull gang were claiming toto fucked up by âallowing' alex the Williams seat#apparently it was alexs fault ferrari fucked up and red bull were turning the tide smh#the bullshit ted began about hannah and yuki he will never see heaven i swear#and i know not everyone calling out the situation partook in the aforementioned but I'm seeing certain people who did#and they don't seem to notice their hypocrisy or double standards#anyway i get my one annoyed post that I'll probably delete later but at least I've got it out and can now return to watching the clown show#and ignore those with doublestandards#anyways bed now because i think I'm slowly losing my mind#it's not a good sign when you hear the imperial march in your head when thinking of college work is it
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combining (one of my) favorite short story with (some of my) favorite characters â€ïž
#i want sigrdrifa to show up and yennefer to be like âoh. hey i didnât think we were friendsâ#and the priestess turns her face towards her with molten-gold eyes and goes âhello yenneferâ and yen gets full body chills lol#female friendship is when [checks notes] the patron goddess of motherhood grants you her boon and shows you your imminent immense suffering#too many marriage comedies where the groom has no friends. what about the friendless bride who never got along with the rest of the girls#to be fair geraltâs party isnât really âthe guysâ itâs like one guy one woman one [lazy hand gesture that says âbehold!â]#i would say âand the kidnapper of his daughterâ but i think cahir is in the audience for this he has like son-in-law status not groomsman#angoulĂȘme is in the audience striking up a best friendship with torque who decided to show up too#txt#f: a hansaâs a hansa#headcanons#story: something ends something begins#the witcher books#geralt of rivia#yes this is (checks timestamps) two months old but its still good#s: youâve condemned yourself to me#and yes the vampire that yarpen throws garlic at is regis why not. or vereena if she regenerated and just wanted to show up bc#she and nivellen got back together because that dumb son of a bitch forgave her for the horrors
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worst part of gmp fandom was the amount of gu jian dickriders who thought he was xiaofeng's shining light and true love. that guy is at best a narrative function and you cant date narrative functions!!
Oh god I can only imagine. As he he didnât betray Xiaofeng just as badly or worse than Li Chengyin! Li Chengyin absolutely used her to get to Khan Tomur, even after he fell in love with her, which is unforgivable of him, but she was basically a stranger when he set off on that journey. Whereas Gu Jian grew up with her, had a very close relationship with her, was well aware she loved and trusted him, and deliberately abused that trust for his and LCYâs mutual family revenge drama. I think it is VERY telling that when the River of Oblivion is doing its brain surgery to pluck out all of Xiaofengâs painful memories, it completely wipes out Li Chengyin and Gu Jian.
(And sure he spends the rest of the show in an alcoholic spiral of regret and guilt about it, but tbh Iâm not at all convinced the show has any illusions about themâhe arguably does her far dirtier by hanging around and trying to reconnect/force her to remember him when she forgot about him for a damn good reason. Okay, admittedly, she might have died from poison if he hadnât been on hand, but given that he was in the city for clan vengeance goals anyway, he COULD have just checked in with AâDu and been like âyo, Iâm available if sheâs ever in mortal dangerâ and then otherwise have stayed out of her life in recognition of the fact that he fucked her over so badly she bleached her brain about it. Like, if he was committed to following her around atoning at a respectful distance, it would be a little bit creepy, but eh, Iâd accept it in this genre. Itâs the part where he keeps bulling into her presence and trying to rekindle lost feelingsâones I think even he knew were never as intense as the ones sheâd had for Li Chengyinâthat had me thumbing my nose at him a lot of the time. Because THAT was 100% about his feelings, specifically his jealousy of Li Chengyin, and I think it made everything so much worse for Xiaofeng in the long run.)
#I think heâs super mad LCY got forgiven for grandpa crimes#and he did not#never mind that Xiaofeng only forgave LCY for the killing itself#because that was all she was aware of#and she did not remember the part where both of these men she cared about and trusted#used her as a pawn in their personal revenge quest#like donât worry boo. if she remembered that part she would have hated you both equally again#also Iâm fairly convinced that Gu Jian kind of expected and wanted things to go down between him and LCY the way they did#that he knew he had no chance of running off with Xiaofeng again#he obviously knew he himself was dying#so I think he deliberately provoked LCY into killing him in front of Xiaofeng in such an epic way#knowing it would destroy the relationship LCY and Xiaofeng had slowly rebuilt#like kind of recreating a âkilling grandpa in front of herâ scenario#its like oh yeah it was totally worth it to traumatize you yet again if it means I get to die in your arms#and pretend itâs me that youâre in love with#get fucked Gu Jian! more arrows! more!#goodbye my princess#asks#anyway Gu Jian would annoy me more if I thought the show was on his side#but I am strongly of the opinion that weâre supposed to recognize how selfish he is#despite the eternal protestations of regret and fidelity and whatnot#sorry. both of these men are terrible for you actually#they both had moments when they could have chosen Not To Do All That but they did it anyway
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Fourtheenth Day of Gift-Giving: Fun Adventures
Prompt: A group project in school brings some unusual friends together
Yes, it's a high school AU, somewhat inspired by / based off this fic idea I had a while ago! I've never written a high scool AU before so pls be nice, also I've taken some liberties with the prompt again, because there's no group project per se, they're simply in the same chemistry class đ
Banner made by @kraeuterhexchen again, thanks for suffering for me a bit I love youuuu <3

~
Aleksi muffled his third yawn in a row on his palms. Every single week at this exact time he regretted his promise to his father that heâd take at least four optional courses this school year on top of all the compulsory ones in exchange for a language course in Amsterdam next June. The tragedy was that his schedule was already so full with the compulsory courses alone that he could barely find gaps to fill with anything else at more humane times than at eight oâclock on a Monday morning, which was when his additional chemistry class was held. It didnât help that none of his friends or acquaintances were taking the same class; Aleksi envied them for their superior life choices.
Chemistry could be alright at best, but in general it wasnât among his favourite subjects. Rather than reaction equations, Aleksi was much more fascinated by the only other guy in the group he knew by name, who, by the happy coincidence of the two of them both being late to class on the first day, ended up being his lab partner. He didnât know Olli because they were buddies, quite the contrary, in fact; one of Olliâs friends was still bitter about Aleksi standing him up regarding a music project (which had been but a case of bad communication, of which Aleksi was deeply ashamed, even though in the eyes of his own friends it had been âsuch a big-dick move to put that cocky emo loser back in his place lolâ), so Aleksi wasnât exactly surprised that Olli never replied to his sleepy greeting on Monday mornings. Thinking back to it, Aleksi couldnât recall the boy saying anything at all during the chemistry classes, so that by now he wouldâve started suspecting Olli was mute, if it wasnât for the times he had seen Olli laugh and joke about with his friends at recess. From the little Aleksi had heard when he had passed by the group in the school corridors, Olli had a soft, quiet voice, often blending under the much louder ones of his friends, which was why Aleksi had set making Olli speak to him as his main ambition for the course, rather than getting a high mark.
âMorning,â he said to Olli like he did every Monday, and like every Monday, Olli barely glanced his way. What made this Monday different from all the other Mondays was that Aleksi couldâve sworn he had seen Olli nod at him this time, sort of in a blink-and-you-miss-it kind of way, although it may as well have been just his tired brain making things up. Nevertheless, it gave Aleksi the spark of hope that had him sit up straight, ready to converse Olliâs ears off in case he finally happened to be in the mood, but before he could open his mouth to ask Olli about his weekend, the teacher started the lesson by shoving hand-outs on their tables.
That day, however, Aleksi was determined to succeed in his plan at long last, even if he had to get a little creative.
While Olli was concentrating on keeping his eyes open as the teacher explained the theory behind the dayâs experiments, Aleksi picked up his pencil and wrote on the corner of Olliâs hand-out:
Hi! :)
The anticipation nearly had him tremble as he waited for Olli to react in any way; for the longest time, bordering Aleksiâs patience, Olli did nothing but stare at the letters Aleksi had scribbled. He still didnât look at him, still didnât say anything or â god forbid â smile; he just blinked at the single word that had appeared in the corner of his paper.
Then, after a million years in Aleksiâs experience, he grabbed his own pencil.
hi
Those two letters alone made Aleksi feel like a winner already.
How are you?
Still keeping his eyes firmly on the paper, Olli seemed to be pondering his answer for a while.
good
Aleksi wondered if Olli was as terse speaking up as he was in writing.
Great to hear! Iâm doing good as well :) Do you have a long day on Mondays?
Exactly like a moment earlier, Olli did nothing but stare at their brief written conversation. Aleksi wanted to believe that Olli was just about to write his answer but was ruthlessly interrupted by the teacher ordering them to walk over and look closer as sheâd perform an example experiment for them to later mimic.
They didnât get a chance to continue their little chat later on in the lesson, and they never spoke during the practical experiments they were asked to do â or rather, Olli never spoke, despite Aleksiâs best efforts to at least have him answer some simple yes-or-no questions, such as âdo you want to try first?â or âcan you pass the pipette?â or âoh fuck, do you think we should tell the teacher?â when their experiments sometimes failed unexpectedly. The best Aleksi had gotten out of Olli was a suppressed snort when the other day Aleksi had accidentally spilled some red colour additive on his brand-new Off-White t-shirt.
âQuit laughing, or Iâll tell everyone itâs your blood,â he had said in hopes of making Olli properly giggle, but it had seemed to have the opposite effect, for Olli hadnât let out a single sound for the rest of class after that. Later, Aleksi had wondered if it had been because Olli was scared Aleksi actually might, and to prevent his friends from getting wind of them being lab partners â because clearly he was that opposed to the idea of being associated with Aleksi â he had firmly kept his lips sealed for the rest of the class and all the ones that followed it.
This day, someone must have put something in Olliâs breakfast porridge, however, because when the class was dismissed, Olli spoke in his low, quiet voice, not even directly at Aleksi, but more to his general direction, so that Aleksi knew the words were addressed to him.
âSee ya.â
âYeah, see ya!â Aleksi replied, perhaps a little too eagerly, rolling his eyes in frustration when Olli hurried out of the classroom.
It wasnât much, but it was a start.
~*~
The next Monday, Aleksi decided to go past formalities and straight to the point to get Olli to interact with him.
Had a nice wknd? :)Â
Aleksi was most definitely too optimistic for his own good, but he had a feeling Olli didnât take half as long to answer this time, even though his reply remained brief.
yup
Literally on the edge of his seat, Aleksi waited for Olli to elaborate on his reportedly ânice weekendâ â in vain. He rolled his eyes and picked up his pencil again.
What did you get up to?
Olli flipped pencil in his fingers like one would do with a drumstic, clumsily, almost dropping it on his desk. Aleksi saw an attractive blush slowly spread on Olliâs cheeks and hoped it wouldnât discourage Olli away from the budding conversation.Â
At last, Aleksiâs patient waiting was rewarded.
went to see a gig
Aleksi clenched his pencil into his fist out of sheer excitement. If there was a topic Aleksi couldâve chatted about for hours on end, it was music, his first and (so far) only love. He knew Olli played in a band and was sure that if he only could somehow make Olli lower his walls for him, they might actually find a lot to whisper about to pass the time a bit more merrily on Monday mornings.
So cool! Who did you see?
Olli didnât keep him waiting for long, which Aleksi decided to take as a sign of Olli also being keen on their current conversation topic.
If only Aleksi knew how to help Olli get out of his shell a little more.
a friendâs band
Aleksi nodded, careful not to appear too enthusiastic or intrusive to scare Olli off, now that he had gotten him to write more than one word at a time.
Any good?
The teacher was just about to have the class gathered around her table again, so instead of a thorough review of the music show, Olli only jotted down a wonky yup in response before hurrying to the front of the classroom. During the whole rest of the class, Aleksi was not given another chance to fish more out of Olliâs weekend.
Well, he sighed to himself, standing up to join his coursemates, another Monday, then.Â
~*~
Later that day, sort of by coincidence (of having purposefully lingered around the music classroom on the pretext of asking the music teacher about an upcoming extra credit class), Aleksi learnt Olliâs band had a practice slot in the music classroom on Monday evenings. His plan was not to spy on Olli, but he figured he might as well use this newly-acquired information to squeeze a little more out of Olli in their next chemistry class.
Any plans after school?
Only when he noticed Olli freeze upon seeing the question on the margin of his notebook, Aleksi realised how it must sound like to him, so out of the blue.
Just curious btw :)Â
Olli seemed to hesitate before answering.
band practice
Aleksi hid his smirk behind his palm.
Hook, line and sinker, he thought to himself, the pencil in his hand itching to write down all the follow-up questions he had prepared. By the end of the class, Aleksi congratulated himself, for his plan to have Olli blabber about their common interest had worked out splendidly: Aleksi had learnt, for example, that Olli had been playing the bass for seven years already and that their band was actually working on their first EP, which Aleksi was genuinely impressed by. What really had made Aleksi feel like he was on top of the world, however, was when he noticed the smallest hint of amusement on Olliâs face; he still hadnât managed to lure Olli to look him in the eye, but he had made him smile, which was perhaps even better.
The rest of the week Aleksi spent barely paying attention to what his friends were talking or laughing about in between classes, too busy searching for his chemistry class conversation buddy with his eyes. He did so every day, even though he was convinced the principal granting him the rest of the semester off with no consequences was more likely than catching Olli looking at him.
That was, until he did.
It was only a fleeting moment in time as they passed each other in the canteen and over before Aleksiâs heart could settle back to its place from his throat where it had jumped up to. He couldnât tell since when his lab partner looking his way had started rousing this kind of reaction in him; then again, Olli had never really glanced his way before, so how could he have known?
Maybe that was also why Aleksi hadnât noticed the shade of Olliâs irises until now. They were dark grey, he could tell, serious but not cold by any means. He couldnât wait to take a closer look at them the next time he was given the chance.
Perhaps it was time for Aleksi to change his tactics.
~*~
âHi Olli,â Aleksi said as soon as Olli walked up to his desk the next Monday. As if surprised to hear his name spoken out loud, Olli looked up at him, and Aleksi was granted another glimpse of those mysterious eyes.
Olli didnât let him rejoice for too long, though, before turning his gaze to his desk as he sat down.
âHi.â
And that was it: their first spoken conversation (in which Olli had also participated), despite Olli avoiding his gaze for the rest of the class, as was his right. Aleksi supposed. Even Aleksi himself was too giddy about the interaction to think of anything else to say.
It was almost ridiculous, if he was honest with himself. Yet, for the first time during the whole autumn semester, Aleksi was looking forward to the early Monday morning chemistry class.
~*~
Within the next couple of weeks, their conversations evolved from exchanging casual greetings (âHi Olli!â âHiâŠAleksiâ) to deep discussions about the current events in their lives (âHowâs it going?â âGood.â âAwesomeâ), which was equal parts exciting and frustrating to Aleksi. His heart would do the silly bouncing-up-to-his-throat thing whenever Olli blessed him with a quick glance of his dark eyes (Aleksi could swear they were a different shade every time he looked), but the moments only ever lasted for a second or two at a time. On the bright side, Olli would no longer rush out of the classroom to get out of having to perform any more small talk, but instead took his time putting his books and pencils back in his bag carefully, even if Aleksi never managed to open his mouth in time before Olli would make his inevitable escape. Aleksi suspected that it was, indeed, the newfound thrill of being graced with the occasional, fleeting look from Olli that rendered him speechless and caused him to miss his chance of getting to talk with Olli at least until theyâd reach the classroom doorway. From there onwards theyâd go their separate ways anyway, to their different worlds: Aleksi to one in which Olli was a moody emo kid with no sense of humour (or so Aleksi had been told by Isac who went to the same biology class with Olli), and Olli to one in which Aleksi was probably portrayed as a self-satisfied snob who once did his friend dirty.
The Monday after that, Olli never walked in through the classroom door, no matter how intensely Aleksi stared at it. When the days passed and Aleksi hadnât caught a glimpse of the boy by Friday, he became worried, to the extent he considered walking up to Olliâs friend group to ask about him. He was almost certain that the one with the short platinum-blond hair might have actually told him, or at least he looked the least intimidating out of them all. One of them was almost two heads taller than Aleksi, so he saw it best to stay out of his way, although his smile â in those rare occasions he did smile â was anything but frightening. The one with the baggy clothes Aleksi had once heard rapping at a house party was tiny in comparison, but something about the angle of his eyebrows gave Aleksi the chills. Joel was obviously out of the question; Aleksi would probably never dare speak to him after The Incident. Joonas, on the other hand (Aleksi knew his name because he and Joel often squabbled loudly, with Joel shouting his name in bewilderment, his obvious affection for the boy poorly masked as annoyance), seemed like the kind of guy who would whisper you the right answer just in time before the teacherâs drill of a stare would bore a hole through your skull.
Taking a deep breath to brace himself, he watched as Olliâs friends were stepping in the Swedish classroom. As if on cue, Joonas was the last one about to walk through the door, and seeing his chance had come, Aleksi zoomed over and grabbed him by his sleeve.
âHey,â he said once he had pulled Joonas aside, hidden from the disapproving looks of Joel and company.
âHuh?â
âDo you happen to know where Olli is?â Going straight to the point seemed like the best strategy to get anything out of Joonas, in case Aleksi had completely misjudged him and he was about to be punched in the face.
âHeâs caught the cold. Why?â Knitting his brows and eyeing Aleksi up and down, Joonas seemed sceptical about Aleksiâs intentions, to say the least.
(It had Aleksi wondering if any of his own friends would act as protectively about him, but that was a matter of concern for another day entirely.)
âUmmmm⊠I have his chemistry homework for him.â
Aleksi could almost hear the cogwheels turning inside Joonasâ head until his expression brightened.
âAaah⊠Right! Yeah, I suppose you would.â (Whatever Joonas meant by that.) âIâm gonna go over later today to see how heâs doing, so I can forward the message for you.â
âOh, great! Thanks!â Aleksi said, as if he had any clue what they had actually been given as homework four days ago.
Ironically, Aleksi was saved by Joel calling for Joonas from inside the classroom.
âIâll catch up with you later, alright?â Joonas winked at him, and then he was gone.Â
Joonas never did catch up with him, however, and so Aleksi was saved from the embarrassment of admitting he hadnât been following their chemistry lesson after all, more or less due to the disappointment of not seeing Olli after having spent the entire weekend planning what heâd say to him. Not knowing if Olli would be attending the upcoming Mondayâs class either, the weekend went by slower than ever, which normal-Aleksi wouldâve embraced; this new, strange, maybe-crushing-on-his-quiet-lab-partner-Aleksi was on pins and needles.
~*~
There it was again, that awful skip of his heart, when Aleksi saw Olli enter the classroom on Monday. So relieved he was that he had no means to tone down the excitement in his greeting.
âYouâre here!â
Olli looked up at him but said nothing, his silence a pang to Aleksiâs chest. His joy upon their reunion changed into defeat in less than a second, and Aleksi felt like a right idiot for having thought Olli, too, might have been waiting to see him again.
Suddenly fascinated by the cover of his chemistry course book, Aleksi put his head down to hide his disappointment. He was already settled for staring at the abstract drawing for the next 75 minutes to avoid more heartbreak, but then a slip of paper appeared in front of him.
canât speak doctorâs orders
On his face, Olli was wearing a kind, small smile. In that instant, Aleksi forgot what he had even been so saddened about. He flashed Olli a smile in return and started searching with his eyes for a pencil; he wouldâve felt too weird talking to Olli out loud without him being able to answer. Tragically, it seemed that in anticipation of possibly seeing Olli again after so long, Aleksi had forgotten to pack his pencil case. Noticing this, Olli offered him his own, the same, tiny smile still on his lips.
Shame! Youâre usually so talkative
He knew he was taking a risk poking fun at Olliâs quietness, but to his great relief, Olliâs smile widened and his shoulders twitched in a voiceless chuckle. Encouraged by this, Aleksi continued with an equally risky revelation.
I missed you in class last week
Having written down the words, Aleksi could barely look at Olli as he felt his cheeks heaten up. He let Olli take back his pencil from his fingers, as well as the paper slip from his desk.
Olli spent almost a minute writing down his reply, erasing and rewriting, until he finally passed the paper back to Aleksi, immediately directing his face to the opposite side of the classroom.
missed you too
Aleksi had never seen three words so pretty in his life.
~*~
What followed next was an entire week of unexpected encounters between the two lab partners, as if the universe was purposefully making them cross each otherâs way to make up for the past seven days of not seeing each other. On Tuesday, their shoulders brushed walking past each other in a crowded corridor. On Wednesday, they were returning their trays at lunch at the exact same time and exchanged brief smiles. On Thursday, they almost ran into each other at the restroom door, which is when Aleksi learnt Olli had regained his voice, mumbling a small âoopsâ after having bumped into Aleksi.
On Friday, at the last recess of the day, Olliâs friend Joonas grabbed Aleksi by his wrist and pulled him into an empty classroom.
âWait here,â he ordered, and utterly confused as he was, Aleksi had no choice but to obey.
A moment later Joonas returned, pushing a red-cheeked Olli into the room before promptly leaping back to the corridor, closing the door behind him.
For one long, anxious moment, neither of them said anything, Aleksi because he was still too baffled by the latest turn of events to open his mouth, and Olli because he was⊠Olli.
âUmmmmâŠâ Olli finally said, his voice a little hoarse, so he cleared his throat and tried again. âI just⊠ummm⊠thereâs this⊠band⊠tomorrowâŠâ
Aleksi had to bite his lip, both at how adorable Olli was, fumbling with his fingers as words fell out of his mouth one by one, as well as to keep himself from blurting out âyesâ before Olli even got around to asking him anything.
âAnd I was just⊠thinking if⊠âcuz I have an extra ticket⊠so⊠I thought maybe youââ
âYeah!â To Aleksiâs turmoil, his tongue could sometimes be quicker than his brain. âI mean⊠what?âÂ
Behind the classroom door, someone clicked their tongue.
âYeah, ummmm.â Olli scratched the back of his neck. âSo yeah. Would you⊠like to come? To the show? On Saturday? With me? Maybe? I mean, of course you already have plansââ
âI donât!â Aleksi hurried to say. âI can come. But⊠will your friends be coming too though?â
Olli shook his head. Aleksi decided not to dwell on what the evident horror in Olliâs eyes was a sign of. It might have been because he, too, thought it was a little too soon for Aleksi and Joel to make amends â or maybe he was just that terrified of being seen with Aleksi in public.
âNo, they wonât. I mean, Joonas was supposed to, but he, ummmmmm, heâs going⊠ummmmâŠâ Olliâs gaze wandered towards the door, as if for help.
âTo my great-uncleâs funeral!â the door whispered at him.
âTo his great-uncleâs funeral,â Olli confirmed.
âA-ha,â Aleksi nodded. âSorry for your loss,â he said to the door.
â...Thanks,â the door replied. Holding back his laughter, Aleksi turned back to Olli who, for the first time since Joonas had urged them on the stage of their current scene, was looking at Aleksi, his round eyes expectant and hopeful for Aleksiâs final answer. Aleksi thought of taking a step closer to him, perhaps even gently touching his hand, but decided against it before his brain would command his limbs to make such reckless movements.
âGuess Iâll see you on Saturday atâŠ?â
âAt six. At Sandroâs.â
If Aleksi didnât get a wink of sleep the following night, it wasnât only because of excitement; the moment he laid his head on his pillow and closed his eyes, his mind was filled with pictures of a boy with twinkling eyes and a bashful smile, keeping him awake until he fell asleep to them.
~*~
Aleksi couldnât bring himself to care if he looked a little dumb, smiling to himself and leaning his chin on his palm at eight oâclock the next Monday. Even the teacher announcing a pop quiz could not have washed away the dopey grin that had been painted on his lips since Saturday evening.
He was smiling at the way Olliâs eyes had brightened when he had spotted Aleksi in the crowd. He was smiling at Olliâs shy offer to get him a Pepsi. He was smiling at how star-struck Olli had looked when the band had first got on stage and the way he had lost himself in the music, rocking his head and closing his eyes as if to let the bass lines and guitar riffs swallow him whole. The band had been excellent, Aleksi had to agree, but more than half the time, all Aleksi had seen or heard was Olli.
And for the last three minutes of the show, all Aleksi had felt was Olli; more specifically, he had felt Olliâs hand searching for his, fumbling and hesitating until it finally clasped Aleksiâs during the final song of the bandâs setlist, a melancholy rock ballad that prompted lighters and cellphone flashlights to be lit. In Aleksiâs eyes, they were all dim in comparison to the glimmer in Olliâs eyes.
Lying in his bedroom later that evening and throughout the entire next day, Aleksi had still felt the warmth of Olliâs hand in his, even though they had let each other go as soon as the stage lights had been turned off.
âHi.â Olliâs voice brought Aleksi from Saturday evening back to Monday morning.Â
âHi,â he simply answered. There were a million things he wanted to say to Olli, but his sleepy, happy brain was still working on finding the exact words.
The smile on Olliâs face told him heâd have time to figure it out, at his own pace.
In the meantime, Aleksi could always improvise, and so he picked up his pencil.
âĄ
They both stared at the tiny heart on the corner of Olliâs notebook, and just when Aleksi was about to convince himself he had made a terrible mistake, Olli took the pencil out of his hand.
⥠âĄ
#blind channel fanfiction#blind channel rpf#24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling#ollixallu#an alternative universe in which aleksi went to high school lol#i mean correct me if i'm wrong but didn't he go to amsterdam right after junior high?#not sure how long he was there but somehow i'm under the assumption he never went to finnish high school? đ€#which is cool i mean neither did i lol#which is why i also know shit-all about high school chemistry classes đ hence i tried to not include that stuff too much#i guess it could've been any class but i needed them to sit together every week#so chemistry lab partners it is ig#btw pls don't ask me what the deal with aleksi and joel is lol i couldn't be bothered to think that much in detail đ#just assume it wasn't anything completely terrible and that aleksi didn't do it to be a douche and joel eventually forgave him đ#also: i promised ju i'd make our shy schoolgirl olli uwu at least in the tags so here ya go#shy schoolgirl olli: uwu <3#also also: in a perfect world i would've made this even longer and more slow-burn#but alas for the purposes of the advent calendar i had to lower my standards a bit đ€§
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I do completely agree with how the Iranian government was used in that story was quite frankly terrible, but I wish they remade it into some other dumb excuse instead of just saying it goes against his code because it just makes him seem like a worse father than he already seems. Something incredibly dumb like clown aliens adopted him for a month randomly so he couldn't kill him or another dimension joker teamed up with joker so it would be difficult or dumb magic stuff with a rouge that makes it so he's invulnerable for a bit. Idk but y'know what I mean. In less serious stories it would be so much better imo
I just feel like a lot of discourse within the DC fandom would be resolved if ppl realized two things can be true at the same time and it's up to you to decide which side matters more to YOU personally
#to me it'd just be easier to recognize the 'code' for what it truly is aka trauma.#bruce has issues with killing bc he thinks its wrong yes but also bc killing affected him personally#just like jason was affected and chose to go in another direction. i can be over here yelling infinetely but the truth is its pretty asinin#bc jason forgave bruce already and visce versa (since yk jason tried to kill HIM and stuff. man fuck them kids fr )#its kinda wild how eager ppl are to blame a grieving father for Jason's murder than the actual murderer lmao yikes#but alas#text
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the only reason i deleted my last xander rant is because giles does indeed often find xander annoying, but i will still argue that it is on another level with cordelia and she has never done anything even half as stupid and dangerous as xander has
#in fact i think she's just always been the victim of stupid shit?#i skipped over most of s1 this rewatch so i could be forgetting something#and i don't remember the end of s3 very well#damn btvs and bleach: two of my favorite characters ever being with two of my most hated characters ever#and of course it's badass women and mediocre men#ANYWAY ANYWAY ANYWAY#buffyverse liveblog#i still think about when i was 11 or 12 watching btvs at my friend's house for the first time and literally 5 eps in being like#i hate xander does he die tell me he dies#(knowing that there was a high death count since i'd already seen about half of ats)#and she was like :) yes the next one :)#and when he didn't i was so mad at her djflkdjslgjld#like i can't watch that episode i kind of never forgave her lmao#what do you MEAN he lives throughout the whole series#what do you MEAN only women (and spike) of the main cast are killed off#what do you MEEEEEEEEEEEEAN
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