#he figures even a barbarian has to get it eventually right

[karaokebearwithal]

Mutuals Mutuals Come one COME ALL!!!

Put your various sona's and appendages together for the unveiling of a lil' something I've been working on while being distracted from animating Dame Aylin's wings (Its long, hard, fun as all hell but the concentration required to do so seems physically impossible for a beast of my genus)

I drew all my moots tavs/pseudo-companions!!! It took a bit, but it was well worth it! Everyone's design is so unique and fun to figure out. (10 is a big number of moots)((which I am very grateful to have :3)) So without Further Ado!!! (there will be so much more Ado):

(page break cuz the images are 400x400 each but 10 times, I also go on for a bit about how much I like each Tav/pseudo-companion character) ((if anyone can give me tips on how to size pieces in a normal style digitally i'd be very grateful))

First of all is Sivvus the Fey Prince (he/him)! This elusive Eladrin Tav belongs to @thedomesticanthropologist! A gorgeous yet seemingly cold-hearted druid who tends to keep his cards close to his chest. Though if you want the challenge you can see for yourself if you can try and get close to him to see if Sivvus is as closed off as he seems to be. To be quite honest, Sivvus really grew on me. A very fancy Eladrin with a high society (fey society) upbringing ( with very good looking mood boards to match) and the like only for him to be thrust into the bg3 world with a worm to boot. He is charming! Also his backstory? <3 Defienetly go read it! 10/10 would draw the snob again :)

Second off we have Gum (He/They)! A Githyanki Cleric of Mystra. Being @piipaw's Tav you'd find this charming fruit lover trying to live a peaceful life after escaping from the creche that raised them. I like Gum a lot as the concept of a githyanki trying to find their own way in Faerun while also having no idea about any of the social customs is very gripping to me. I recommend greatly to check out the blog for Gum fics, fanart and a very cool moot . :)

Next is H'rayn of Verkos (she/her)! Now different from all the character's I drew, H'rayn is not a Tav! She's actually a pseudo-companion character with a lotta lore and history! She even has her own quest, party banter, approval and disapproval things. It's the whole deal!! @githkisser made an amazing post all about H'rayn . If you want a ton of indepth and fun info that's really really well documented, I cannot overstate how much you should it check out! I find myself going back to learn more about H'rayn as she really is as well thought out as in game companions! It's quite fun thinking up of ways tavs can interact with her and the art is mwah!!! very good indeed :3

4th! Tavern (Tav) the Bard! (they/them) This darling bard ran away from the circus.....from birth! Created by @avocado-writing, Tavern plays their way into your heart with their silly antics, warm heart and eldritch pocket dimension in their chest!

Tavern is a doll to doodle and I am amped to draw them even more in the future. The heterochromia and the inclusion of instruments does make them a fun challenge (i will draw instruments accuratley with these paws eventually). Go check them out!! :D

5th! Hvinidyr the Barbarian (he/him)! @star-bear-art (I just realised after all this we aren't actually mutuals. Which is funny since we kinda have the same name and theme with the bear thing XD) If you wanna see wonderous art of Hvinidyr as well as the other companions, go look right over here!

Winnie (Hvinidyr) has a lot of forms depending on the time period you wanna look at. The one I chose was the most recent with the large scar tissue all over the left (right? I'm horrible at directions, my paws don't make an L shape for me to tell). He was really fun to sketch out (and probably later colour in) and has a really unique design that I appreciate :)

6th Vierlin the Enchantment Wizard (and a lil' bit rouge)!!!(she/her) @sybaritick's Tav!!! Now!! This classic drow has a keen intrest in enchantment magic, teaching her crafts to nobles in Amn. After the whole tadpole fiasco, she also finds another use for her multitude of arcane skills. Most notabley depicted with a local wizard.

Now I won't get ahead of myself here but the fics that Sybaritick wrote about Vierlin are like....licking a warm pan of thickened maple syrup or a fancy meat meal with so much demi-glaze you're left smacking your lips for at least 20 mins after eating. Its indulgent. And I couldn't recommend it enough!! Read it!! (it took me a good 8 times to get the 'ie' part of Vierlin's name right, the letters look the same to me)

7th Fink the Spores Druid (they/them) belonging to @causticcontemplation! They're a pretty short Tav a 2.5ft and have a whole modern AU fic about them!!! You can read all about it here! (the pun name is amazing!)

I found it cool to use the fic to figure out how to colour them in, I ended up sending an anon ask instead and it helped great! Lovely Tav 10/10!

8th Korydass the Druid!! (She/her)!!! Conjured by @cfcreative, this seemingly non-emotive bronze dragonborn lights a spark in viewers as her tail and love for nature portrays otherwise. Art of Kory is many and also very good. Reading through her lore is fun watching her dynamics with the different origin characters change as she opens up to the party.

Now I do have slight bias, I like drawing Kory the most since her head shape is less humanoid. It's just so satifying, also her design is crazy awesome to work with so all around its great recommend I like her a lot :3

9th Asheera the Paladin (she/her) produced by @optiwashere.

To be quite honest I wouldn't even have a blog if it wasn't for Asheera's fics. They are EXCELLENT. If you want to go through a journey of a half orcs struggles, successes and gripping romance with Shadowheart, VAULT YOURSELF into Opti's A03 page and devour. You will have negative regrets about it just like I! Asheera is great I love her a lot I am the most normal about her.

(I'll keep it brief since this post is long enough to cross a river)

10th Quin the Bard (he/him) composed by @quinthebard (who'd have known?)

This darling plucky bard is the star of an ongoing comic that is very dynamic and very gripping. (My fave panel is this one). Despite being 100, Quin still maintains his joyful and kind nature when traveling with the tadpole gang.

Definetly one of the most friendlies Tavs out of all the ones i've drawn. (he was also the first i drew out of all of these!) He's a delight!! Go check him out! Thanks to all my moots for giving permission, having such great characters and being such lovely moots! <3 <3 <3

(Any pronouns or other changes that want be changed, feel free to DM about it. I love those! )

[hauntedwizardmoment]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

PLEASE I LOVE ALL YOUR WORK SO MUCH ANYTHING YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT

HI i'm sorry this took forever but i needed to figure out what i wanted to talk about and i think im gonna expand on peregrine and jace's + porter and ghorza's whole deal in it's a three-way call and he knows nothing

my initial concept for this fic was just straight-up the one day where we did a ton of posting about starbreaker cheating on their partners with each other, and then the image of jace having an absent husband who he cheats on sprung forth fully-formed like athena from zeus' forehead.

i needed to pick somebody to be his absent husband and figure out why they were absent. i landed on an OC from blood and turpentine for his husband (peregrine is kind of my go-to Guy To Get Mad At because i made him up specifically to suck and be jace's shitty ex, so in this timeline he is jace's shitty husband). and the concept of "jace gave up an adventuring career for his relationship" because thats the kind of thing that happens a lot irl (happened to my friend who got married right out of high school actually!!) and it's smth that would definitely build a lot of resentment for my version of pre-shatterstar jace who really values his autonomy and self-determination

i also wanted to get across the feeling of "there was once a LOT of love here, but it's gone now" so i tried to figure out what were some qualities that would make jace fall in love with someone, then find ways that those qualities would evolve into something repulsive. i landed on protective and doting (he likes feeling desired! he likes feeling like someone has his back!) and turned those into patronizing and cloying (now his freedom is being restricted and he's being treated like some little purse dog).

i think something that jace really struggles with in his relationship is feeling excluded from peregrine's life; he's an adventurer, he's out on the road all the time, he's not allowed to share details of his missions with jace due to [handwavey council of chosen rules], he can't even text jace from his work phone because that's for Business Only. jace's main motivation for his affair is feeling seen and held by someone, and being part of something bigger than himself. it's why he wanted to adventure full-time after graduating, and it's why in this timeline you see him still getting set up to be part of porter's plan.

peregrine is a good fighter, he's very protective of his whole party, but he's fundamentally a very scared and insecure person. the idea of losing jace terrifies him so much that he begs him to quit his job and retire to elmville/play housewife forever. he's scared that his relationship will fall apart if he doesn't provide, so he takes any mission the council sends his way. he worries that jace will get hurt while working at aguefort so he gets him magic items (a ring and cloak of protection) and doesnt want to see him working at aguefort (he graduated from there, he knows the school's reputation). he views all of these as his noble sacrifices. and when jace doesn't show him enough appreciation for making said sacrifices, or god forbid implies that he's unsatisfied, he gets upset and throws them in his face (his job pays for the house), minimizes jace's own work (says jace 'plays around' with spell components, as if they arent part of his Literal Job as a sorcery teacher), and is generally a HUGE dick about it.

re. ghorza, she's actually a PC from a campaign i was in, played by one of my irl friends lia who has let me talk her ear off about toxic yaoi as of late. the way lia played her was as a very buff viking barbarian who is also into philosophy and poetry and has a Sensitive Side, and eventually she abandons her initial goal of conquest to help liberate the kingdom our PCs were saving. i didn't get into her and porter's relationship a ton because this fic was very jace-centric BUT i do picture her and porter as having an open relationship. she knows about jace and has been angling for a threesome, but porter correctly identified that jace would freak out at the whole "i have a wife" thing so he lies to jace about that. what she truly doesn't know about is the groundwork for porter's plan, because porter doesn't want someone equally matched with him in strength as a minion, he wants someone easier to push around, and jace fits the bill.

[masterqwertster]

54, Kidnapping with Ashton Greymoore

Prompt

So @lunarrolls had this fun little post a while back pointing out that according to the Explorer's Guide to Wildemount, both the Cerberus Assembly and Kryn Dynasty are very interested in collecting genasi for research. And that Ashton would be an absolutely wild catch for them.

Now given Ashton's new outfit has a half-decent approximation of the Kryn Dynasty symbol:

Plus dunamantic abilities, it's possible for Ashton (and Bells Hells) to bluff a Kryn scout/agent into thinking he's already got some affiliation with the Dynasty. Thus skirting around a potential attempt to drag Ashton back to Rosohna.

The Assembly agents on the other hand, are only going to be all the more interested in capturing a "Dynasty" genasi with dunamantic capabilities.

The Cerberus Assembly's people, also, are going to be the the type of people to possess mindcontrol magics to get Ashton to "willingly" come along under his own power. Or some other form of magic to make Ashton less of a threat. Which definitely would make the whole kidnapping process easier.

Because let's be real: Ashton is not someone who is easily kidnapped via brute force or drugging.

Ashton is a beefy tank of a barbarian. If you want to take them via force, you're going to have to work for it. Ambush and numbers are going to be your friends. As we've seen time and again, hitting the barbarian before rage comes into effect is prime circumstance. And if you can't lay down the heavy hurt by yourself, having a team to pile on is a must. And you want to be fast, otherwise allies or other interference can occur, if Ashton doesn't just manage to book it like crazy.

Ashton also has a high Constitution score with proficiency on the Saves, so drugging them, which is usually resisted with a CON Save, is not an easy task either unless you've got something potent.

Of course, once you've knocked Ashton down, transport becomes an issue. He's made of rock and very heavy. I always put his minimum weight at 500 pounds (but the range is really somewhere between 450-600). So unless you're teleporting out, quick escape (particularly on foot) is not an easy task because you've got this enormous deadweight.

Plus, Ashton is a very noticeable figure to try and run off with, so their friends can very easily pick up information about what has happened if your tracks are not sufficiently covered. And that's not even accounting for magical means of locating them. Which, there are means of blocking Scrying and Sending. But, I don't think there's a way to block a Commune if the cleric asks the right questions to get your location.

And that's not even getting into the thrashing mess Ashton will become once he's got his senses back. Hope you've got some good chains and a sturdy cell, because you've got a barbarian baby titan with chaotic dunamancy in there, and he's fucking pissed. Oh, and he's got a criminal background in Breaking and Entering, so it's also entirely possible for him to pick the locks and sneak out if you don't have a solid setup.

If Ashton doesn't escape under their own power, eventually the rest of Bells Hells is going to show up in all their unhinged chaos. You've taken one of their voices of reason, and that was a mistake. If your base of operations doesn't seem suddenly haunted, that may not be a good sign.

For who knows which of their powerful allies they'll tap for the breakout. The Voice of the Tempest causing a political fuss? She can also call on her allies in other political spheres to add even more pressure. What about that Cobalt Soul monk with abs for days and her wizard friend who have jailed Assembly members? Bet you don't want them poking their noses into this.

Honestly, there's some really fun stuff to be done with Ashton getting kidnapped by a world power.

[officialrapunzelfitzherbert]

anyways heres my spectrum club 7 dnd campaign headcanons if u even care

it's remy's idea. they are a big fan of a lot of actual play shows and when dr amigo's trying to come up with the next Big Thing for everyone to work on together remy brings up dnd

jessica and caroline are SOOO excited for this as soon as remy says dnd the girls are YELLING We Have To Do This Right Now Immediately

dr amigo only has a vague concept of what dnd actually is so they have to spend a while explaining it to him

mel's also a p big dnd fan but has never played!! marideth and drew don't know a Lot about it but drew is very interested and marideth IS a gamer so she thinks it could be fun. tommy does not care at all but he is outnumbered.

dr amigo insists on dming at first. he tries VERY hard and is up all night with the players handbook but after starting their session 0 it becomes very clear that he does not understand this game. the gang is very patient with him but remy and mel keep having to get behind the dm screen to show him how things work and by the end of the night they have made like. 3 perception checks total and have not gotten out of this tavern

he finally gives in and asks remy to dm, they say yes but they were clearly super excited about their player character so mel volunteers to dm. they weren't super committed to their character yet and they have some cool story ideas they've been wanting to try out!!

remy's a tiefling bard!! this had been one of their favorite cosplay ocs for a few years now but they'd never gotten a chance to play her - they don't show up to *every* session in Full cosplay but they always do a Look inspired by her. she's a college of glamour bard and her instrument is a recorder. remy brings a recorder and plays it every session.

jessica and caroline are playing sisters!! they're dragonborns, jessica's a paladin and caroline's a cleric. they have the same god and it's their first time out of their small town!! they are also both pink. they get matching dice and everything. their arc is about exploring their very different relationships with their god and eventually with their parents. it's super cathartic for both of them.

marideth is a druid bc she wants to wild shape into a wolf. she's a halfling but she's mostly a wolf. a big part of her character's arc is about getting more comfortable out of wild shape. circle of the moon, of course.

drew is a firbolg artificer!! he was really indecisive at first - he really wanted to pick what would be most useful to the party, so it took a lot of encouragement from mel to pick what would be the most fun for him. he and marideth got to explore a lot of technology & nature themes which was really cool for them.

tommy is a barbarian. the party needed more melee power and he really just wanted to hit stuff. he started as a human bc he didn't want to have to learn All That, but once he realized everyone had darkvision except for him he decided to retcon that and be a half orc. he gets orcs confused with ogres at first and starts doing a really good shrek voice as a bit. everyone finds it so funny that he commits to it for the rest of the campaign until it is completely earnest and everyone forgets it was a shrek voice.

dr. amigo wanted to just observe but he was roped into being a player so he's a dwarf wizard. he needs a lot of help with figuring out how spell slots work and every time they level up mel has to explain it to him again (was this me as a spellcaster??? we will never know!!) but he wanted to have a cool pointy wizard hat so he commits very hard.

ashley didn't wanna crowd the table so she didn't play at first but she's always a huge supporter!!! she body doubles for mel a lot while they're prepping for sessions and is a really great sounding board for mel to make sure their ideas are beginner friendly. eventually she starts popping in for a few sessions at a time as short term characters!

mel's original character was an air genasi sorcerer. they kept them in the campaign but now they're the party's beloved npc!! they had the whole party homebrew a secret wild magic table for them - remy's the only one who's seen the whole thing bc Someone had to organize it and also make sure it wouldn't break the campaign but mel wanted authenticity so they never know what's gonna happen when their sorcerer has to roll.

what is the campaign about ?? Who Knows. Certainly Not Me. the vibes are immaculate though. this has been in my drafts forever but my fantasy high post has made a resurgence so im Thinking again

[ellatamara]

All my D&D player characters*

*that I’ve made and played (or will play soon, in one case). I also played a pre-gen bard for a one-shot once but I don’t remember anything about them.

The characters are presented in chronological order from left to right in the line-up according to when I made them. Characters’ names, pronouns, descriptions under the cut:

Hhaamm, he/him, half-orc barbarian (in 3.5e, all others are 5e), my very first dnd character for a one-shot-turned-two-shot. All four PCs were half siblings with the same human mother. He is easily distracted by good food as well as by small creatures calling for help, even if they are evil little halfling scammers. My first game made me want to DM because I could tell it was fun, fit my interests, and… I figured I could do a better job at it (sorry Theo, if you ever read this, but also thank you for getting me into this game).

Zarrakas Kyvir, he/him, tiefling bard for a dream sequence one-shot my cousin ran. All the characters were in some way different in the dream, but since Zarrakas was brand new, I decided he was a wizard in the waking world. He was very confused to see his spellbook replaced by a pan flute. He got paralyzed when a death knight showed up, and we were level 7 or something, so that was terrifying until it turned out the death knight only had 1 hit point. Whew.

Merlix, he/him, gnome druid for a one-shot where I got to use Intelligence for druid spellcasting and reflavored a land druid (Underdark, I think) as an artificer, using the rock gnome tinkering thingamajig as a spellcasting focus. This was before the artificer class was added to 5e.

Dine, she/her, human paladin, partially randomly generated for a one-shot (yes, I was kind of a forever DM, playing rarely and for a long time only in one-shots). We all rolled for character gender, and we all happened to roll up women. I never went back to he/him pronouns for my PCs nor for myself 🏳️‍⚧️

Pyra or Random, she/her, tiefling wild magic sorcerer, again partially randomly generated, including her virtue name from Xanathar’s Guide, and some traits from the 2e Planewalker’s Handbook. Her demon mother left her on the doorstep to an abandoned house. The neighbours took her in and raised her as a wild child. She was later kidnapped by a hag and forced to work for her, cleaning, cooking, and receiving guests in her hut while the hag was out during the day. These guests included anything from fiends to innocent villagers doomed to suffer some cruel irony after seeking the hag’s help. She eventually escaped in a lucky fit of wild magic and later joined the merchant ship and adventuring crew The Advantage. Random is my most played PC, and she has changed a lot over the years, though mostly from wild magic surges haha.

Mohilda Duskbraid, she/her, dwarf grave cleric created for Tomb of Annihilation and based on a prompt on whothefuckismydndcharacter.com. We allegedly have one session left of that campaign, and it’s been a lot of fun so far. ToA is very different from out regular playstyle, but still fun. She loves mystery and local spirits, so she was eager to be possessed by I’Jin.

Tomph, she/her, half-orc battle master fighter created for a one-shot set in Exandria we never got very far into. I think we broke into the tomb of Sovereign Uriel Tal’Dorei but I don’t remember why the party was hired to go there in the first place. I still really like her name. tomph. Tomph. ᴛᴏᴍᴘʜ. It’s fun to say.

Nissa, she/her, gnome way of the drunken master monk made for a one-shot inspired by Guards! Guards! which I regrettably still have yet to read. She’s a tambourine-playing martial arts dancer, and I think the tambourine might have been her monk weapon?

Mahogany Leafsworth, she/they, gnome bard for Wild Beyond the Witchlight. Mahogany has lost her sense of time (but not her rhythm) and is frequently late or far too early for her gigs, so her music career isn’t doing super well. I only played her once, so not much more to say other than she hid inside the hollow warforged character’s leg and helped cheat in the cupcake eating contest at the festival.

Niks Rotscute, they/it, kobold warlock and the Wizard Gizzard Lizard of Strixhaven. They have a pseudodragon familiar called Leviathan, and they love all things dragon. Their patron is a voice that speaks to them in draconic, and their aesthetic is oops I fell in the swamp on purpose again. They actually use goblin stats, because I liked those better than the published kobolds, so I guess Niks is a… gobold?

Halcyon, they/them, aasimar divine soul sorcerer created for a two-shot (but I was sick for the finale) set in a heavily cut-down, modified version of BG: Descent Into Avernus. Their adoptive parents had a prophecy that their child should become a powerful evil, so they decided to adopt a baby aasimar instead of conceiving a child of their own. This prophecy was ~100% irrelevant to the game and Halcyon will ~0% show up in any game again. They did use an infernal war machine to gun down a horde of fiends though, which was 100% cool. And yes, that is a robe of stars and a staff of power.

Fenra, she/they, half-orc barbarian/cleric made a brief appearance at the end of a campaign with the same group as the Avernus game. To keep things short: She killed the Xanathar and my partner made some cute drawings of the battle.

Artemisia or Malurt, she/they, air genasi ranger, starting early next year, I will be playing this new character in a modified (and translated) Ghosts of Saltmarsh Spøgelser af Søndermarsk(?) campaign. She has a rival from her backstory, which is a fun little knife—or gun—to hand to your DM. She also has no idea that she’s a genasi and not just a human like her family. I should probably send over my backstory doc to the DM for review…

[beneathsilverstars]

isabeau is the dm. he has notebooks full of lore and stats his own custom monsters and shit. he is so excited to put his nerd powers to work doing cool gay shit!!! he knows all the obscure rules but is willing to break them, though sometimes he worries about getting the balance right. but he knows his players well so he does a great job!!

odile plays a warlock who's secretly a little bit based off of one of her exes. you know when you hate someone but also admire them but also are afraid of becoming like them? yeah it's like that. odile's character is ruthless and obsessed and has already gone too far. how will she pick up the pieces when she inevitably burns herself down?

mirabelle plays a paladin!! they're strong and brave and sooo nice and helpful! but, what's this... a crisis of faith? what will they do when their god's decrees conflict with their own moral compass? (this has nothing to do with mirabelle!! it's a classic paladin plotline for a reason ok!!) anyway this hero's journey will require sacrifice, self-reflection, heroic deeds, and maybe even... love..??

siffrin plays a silly little bard and insists on telling a real joke every time they cast a spell. the character's backstory is very silly (and very deliberately entirely dissimilar to sif's) but played straight bc that's even funnier. this bard takes her silly quest VERY seriously and isabeau really does make it so dramatic that you forget how ridiculous it is.

bonnie plays a rogue, because they're cool, but does not take advantage of rogue abilities very well so odile and isabeau come up with a sort of barbarian multiclass thing that suits bonnie's playstyle better. the character is a very thinly-veiled self-insert power fantasy. they're big, strong, cool, theoretically-mysterious, and able to save everyone!!

mira's paladin and siffrin's bard have been locked in a will-they-won't-they all campaign, which odile and bonnie complain about but isabeau eggs on. eventually even odile and bonnie get invested and complain just as hard about the won't-they bits. mirabelle thinks she wants them to really get and stay together in the end, but they don't, and everyone agrees it's the most satisfying resolution.

bonnie is uninterested in the stats and hard rules at first, but one session siffrin's bard pulls off something cool as fuck through a particular spell/feat/skill combo and bonnie is like WTF. you can DO that?? and spends a day pouring over books with isabeau to make their rogue/barbarian even COOLER! they start to get really into figuring out viable strategies (w some subtle guidance) esp bc everyone hypes them up SO MUCH when they figure out that 3d6 does more damage on average than 1d10+3 or whatever!

odile's warlock eventually gives up her terrible quest after realizing that it is ruining her life and hurting the party members she's come to care for. everyone cries!! esp siffrin as the party members all reassure her that they'll stay by her and help her find new meaning in life. at the end of the campaign, she ends up deciding to open an inn, which the whole party can come home to between adventures. <3 <3 <3

siffrin is a theatre gay they would play. dnd. wow dnd rly has something for everyone.... strategy. roleplaying. co-op. violence. math.

[the-firebird69]

This is not one of my characters this is one of the top of the clones and he was recently in a couple videos lifting up big round rocks of concrete at Venice Beach. And he becomes Giant and does have the features of his clan and I can't find obscure characters I'm searching for obscure and it keeps coming up with all of the people who are the main members more or less and I guess I'd be looking for a long time but I don't even think it was in an X-Men comic

Zues

No it was not but it's worth a look and it's supposed to bunch of people Thanos was exposed this character gentle is exposed and he's far from gentle and he's a barbarian. And there's a few more and they're all running around saying it was stupid. And I like it but it's stupid and everybody's reading the episodes and what they're doing and trying to see if it's them and it will turn out to be a little bit stupid and right now there's hundreds of them trying to figure out if people did something or not and they're investigating it it's a pretty sharp thing to do even though he's doing it by accident and I do thank him for doing it he'll find it eventually

Hera

I hope so I think I saw my image and it was some obscure comic so and the guy who was at the store and it was I believe fort Myers at the movie theater has probably taken it out of the store long time ago and hasn't told anyone

Zues

What's true is it had your look and yes your suave calm and confidence and the good guy glow and people noticed it too and said he's humongous and Sasquatch size and they work together in a lot of stuff so I thought it might be a crossover with alpha fight and it turned into X-Men and it's neither and there's a lot of bad guys in these they said it too but they're more lock and they're fighting the Max and there's only a few Max and they noticed that too so what's going on now that they're having these arguments and it's good and it's healthy and it's finally happening. They're also having a war in the Sahara and on the planetoids it has started and it is massive it's a massive conflict the one on the planetoids is gigantic but the one in the deserts is going to become huge that is going to be a war and between everybody and the max believe it or not

Hera

Zues

I don't really hold your responsible but you're sitting there saying all sorts of s*** and so don't understand it and you're saying I don't it's like I'm the clan but I was having them do stuff sort of and they can't do a lot of that and they can't become humongous without us or the couldn't do it so I do see what you're saying power levels are ridiculous and you're not treated with any respect and it's not that you care ton it's just ridiculous so I see this we're in a lot of trouble and we keep causing trouble but people are really causing trouble with us and he noted that these people never back off him and now we're getting a taste of it you just simply have to get rid of them

Mac daddy

[weeping-gospels]

slaps down some more notable LARP moments that always get added to human Betty’s backstory

- She straight up admitted to L’Neauch (barbarian mentor) that she saw him as a father figure after giving him a lucky rabbit’s foot with Shavali bells tied to it. He already has a literal daughter that’s half orc, but accepted Betty anyway considering the fact she’s learning how to be part of the tribe now. Her now calling him papa (more like ‘baba’ with the accent or occasionally ‘otets’ which roughly translates to father) and him saying he’s gotta get used to that anyway, him thinking about father daughter activities and ends up asking her if she likes anyone before telling the tale of his first half orc lover

Her awkwardly saying her first crush was Shamrock and she got rejected right away because he’s aromantic HGHFHGHVB

I love them so much this was incredibly wholesome he even gave her her own war paint design when she asked for one to feel more emotionally strong

- Rafael is a half elf fighter that hardly ever docks, he’s this powerful captain that’s almost always on seas (basically he lives in Florida and can never come out to LARP because of his children and job lmao) . Betty meeting him for the first time after joining the Battlebound guild (fighter exclusive type shit) then asking him to train her too since L’Neauch trains Spinemangler and Rafael trains the physical body

this was the first time I’ve ever did a 1v1 spar lol he straight up went aight I want you to literally come at me with everything you’ve got. Betty like uh. I only..fight enemies like that and you’re my friend and mentor. He goes I get that, I was like that too — but I will hurt you. I am definitely going to hurt you, so fight me back.

And they did. They beat the shit out of each other, though he blocked most of her swings and was only using his fists at first — and also inflicting excruciating pain for 10 seconds. Every time. Telling her to fight past it, get up, fight for that fire within her and fight for her aspiration (to liberate and protect the ratfolk and become the rat keeper). Bro my body was BEAT lmao the amount of times I had to crumble to the wet ground and spar and scream to sell the act. Eventually she could resist that pain so there’s that!

He’s also INCREDIBLY flirty. Flirts with people a lot. Flirts with Betty in almost every sentence LMAO of course she flirts back. It’s a shame he won’t be back for another year I adore him

- Another ratling came out the next morning after she finally started opening up to people about her intense will to protect the ratfolk. So, NPCs will come out when a new banner dedicated to a certain deity is issued and they hand these banners off to dedicated clerics who hail that deity for them to pin up.

Well

This ratling came to Florian, who is a dedicated cleric to Jerdano (nature and life) and we’re ready to clap for Jerdano until he unrolls the banner and it’s fucking Ethali. The goddess of deceit, trickery, and lies. Ratlings are children of Ethali.

So the ratling, who doesn’t even know how to speak, starts losing it’s shit laughing at him and so do we all — my guess is it’s because this dude did death strike two innocent ratlings last event and word probably got out to the rest about it so it was a fuck you plot but cast wouldn’t tell me if I was right or wrong lmao

Still funny as hell

I remember being half awake walking into the tavern, barely in character, seeing a ratling (cast hardly uses them) , not even knowing who was playing the ratling, literally speechless and unable to get into character before it starts coming up to Betty patting her shoulder and hugging her and I dead ass teared up :’))) not my plot but still so nice to see a ratling again

- So, Betty is the scribe of the Bardic guild and the illustrator for The New Gazette paper. Bardic guild is in preparation of creating an art gallery and want to feature my art so :‘) that’s exciting I get to have my illustrations and crafts displayed!

- it was fucking raining. every day. I’m so exhausted. holy shit

but god damn is the campsite beautiful

[ridiasfangirlings]

I like to think Munakata deliberately let Mikoto pin him at every opportunity every meeting they did (like being invited to tea at the office? or a clan meet w Shiro & co like at Ashinaka high?) & poor Mikoto is walked in on by accident every single time. Say testing new hand cuffs, key fumbling? Mikoto is oblivious to his many advances. xD

Isn’t Munakata the one we usually see pinning Mikoto in canon thoughXD Though imagine Munakata very carefully calibrating things everytime they meet so that Mikoto will end up pinning him, like either he‘accidentally’ trips or he makes sure there are obstacles in Mikoto’sway so that he’ll lose his footing and end up pinning Munakata.Mikoto has a general idea that this is probably Munakata’s faultsomehow, like he suspects that Munakata’s trying to end up pinnedthough he’s not really sure why, like he figures Munakata’s trying tomake him look like the bad guy or something and that’s why he keepsdoing it, that Munakata’s deliberately trying to get pinned becausehe quite enjoys being pinned by Mikoto does not cross his mind. Andof course if Munakata can have a little extra fun with it that’salways a bonus, like Munakata every so often tries to find a goodexcuse to arrest the Red King (or to at least threaten to) and thenoh dear Suoh I seem to have dropped the key to the handcuffs and ofcourse that’s when he accidentally drags Mikoto down with him when hebends down to look for it.

They also tend to get walked in on more often and not, reactions varyfrom people worrying that the two of them are attacking each other to'Captain, don’t do that at work’ (the latter being Fushimi’sresponse, having walked in a few times too often when the two of themare having a nice meeting for tea. Mikoto doesn’t get why Munakatakeeps inviting him for tea though he’s always raising an eyebrow atthe disgusted glare Fushimi gives him every time Fushimi walks in onMikoto pinning Munakata down). The Red clan has similar feelings,Yata walks in on them one time during a fight and starts cheeringbecause all right Mikoto-san show that prissy bastard who’s boss,Munakata finds it rather amusing how energetic all of Suoh’s clansmenare. Kusanagi on the other hand is in the 'facepalm and sigh’department, like if Mikoto has to pin Munakata at least don’t do itin public. (Also Munakata occasionally likes to flip things and bethe one to pin Mikoto, the truth is he really does know what personalspace is he just pretends not to because it gives him an excuse toget super close to Mikoto without anyone finding anything odd).

[livingislands]

Happy Birthday!! What’s something about Nocan that you wish people appreciated more :0?

Well first off thank youuu :D

And secondly oh my God gimme a hit minute

He's a himbo. He's dumb strong and with an occasional heart of gold. Like he's a himbo just like Whammer where's the love for he 😔

No cuz let me elaborate on this a bit. He's like the most chaotically neutral dude. He's not like evil for any reason he just wants to wreck shit cuz he's a barbarian!! Him wrecking things isn't even for the sake of villany that's just how he is and is probably more acceptable back in Contraria.

Like he's just doing whatever he literally traveled across the seas for God knows how long cuz Chuck was like "Aye I need your help with something"! He didn't even know what the reason was but he still came! Like Seymour rlly just say Nocan and went "you be on my gameshow" and Nocan rlly just went for it. He's just going with the flow he doesn't question anything no thoughts head empty

Also he finds Chuck hilarious and was 100% willing to do what Chuck said and all he wanted was some bread!

Also look at this dumbass man he's just happy to learn how to make a sandwich

Also!!! He canonically doesn't rlly like his contrary quirk!!

(OK most of these pics are from "Nocan the Evil Ingredient Finding Guy" I love that ep so much)

When Chuck eventually fired him cuz he kept doing the opposite of what he was asked to do he got sad!! Like genuinely sad look at this pathetic wet mop of a man

And he even complained later on that "Nocan doesn't take instructions very well" like omg he's feeling emotions. He's so pathetic in this episode I love me sad men.

Ok I'm getting off track but he's more than just a contrarian barbarian! He's canonically emotional and a foodie (dug up an entire street from one end of the city to the other for granola bars and was down to be in a competition for some bread and bread alone). Also he's surprisingly perceptive! He was quick to figure out that one of Wordgirlsplans was a trap and reacted accordingly and figured out Chuck chose him as a last resort. Like outside of abusing his whole contrary thing he's got a brain in there somewhere! ig he doesn't have a whole lot of eps or interactions with others like Whammer does but he's a swell guy!!

Also he literally has his tits out A+ design right there

Ok this ended up being more of a rambling about him but rlly wished they appreciated this himbo more cuz he's a swell guy with peas for brains(he doesnt know how to make a sandwich or fold a sail bless his heart)and an occasional thought

[min-jpg]

Hi!! Can you do they boys getting kidnapped but its Diluc, Childe, and Kazuha? Thank you!!💗💗

Note: I just want to point out that there's no actual reason on how I choose for the reader to beat up the kidnappers since part 1,, it's totally random as long as I'm trying out different ideas whatever fits ehe. Enjoy! 💖

---

Kidnapped Genshin Boys x Fem Rich!reader pt.2

Part 1 (Kaeya, Zhongli, Xiao)

Characters: Childe, Diluc, Kazuha

Genre: fluff, established relationship, some woman kicking ass action, (TW: mentions of blood and violence)

---

CHILDE

Your boyfriend would definitely try to go head-to-head against the shady group of people who abducted him. The gang accountable must be living under the rock for even considering one of the most dangerous Harbingers as their prey to carry out their schemes.

However, Childe learned that there would be ramifications if he tries to be rash without gathering solid intel first. Having no knowledge of your current circumstances and whereabouts troubled him to the core. They could have already sent out a corresponding group towards you and endanger you if he failed to listen.

Being wealthy is not a foreign concept to Childe as he is also a wealthy man himself. That said, the premonition of being a target for a ransom would not be unrealistic to him. For now, he is glad that he is the victim here instead of having to witness you kidnapped.

"You know, you could've asked me nicely for some money. I might just give it to you, instead of doing all this for my girlfriend's money." Despite being in a position far from desirable, Childe leisurely sat on the chair that he was bound to, crossing his legs. He was making small talks to push away the worst scenarios happening to you. Are you safe? Are you crying? Did they hurt you?

"I don't know who you are to be running your mouth, but you should value your life a little more." Their leader emerged from the group.

Childe's ocean eyes squinted as menace casts upon his pupils, his voice lowered, "Is that so? Ironic, because you guys seem to value money more than your lives."

The head stepped back slightly, "Enough with your empty threats! You should be aware of the current situation you're in. We're not fooling around here."

"I'm not fooling around either."

As sparks were thrown back and forth, you made your way in through the main entrance. Tapping the shoulder that belongs to one of the men, "Excuse me, I need to get to my boyfriend." Your fist sunk into the side of his face when he turned towards you. He collapsed on the ground with a few broken teeth and blood spewing out of his mouth. Moving on to the next adversary in your path, you fought with full faith in your abilities no matter how intimidating they were.

Soon, the leader and people further ahead finally took notice of it. You pave your way towards your boyfriend and eventually, both your eyes meet each other. Childe puffed out a breath of relief when he finally saw you, but also registering the fact that you just took down most of the men with your bare hands.

Kicking away the men who tried to grab you, you then waved enthusiastically at Childe, "Hey girlie, hold still." Rushing right ahead to the leader, you brought your arm near your face, elbow pointing outwards. The sharp edge from your elbow jabbed his throat, causing him to choke and lose balance.

As his reaction dulled, it was your chance to strike again. Thus, you gallantly overthrew their leader and the entire gang by yourself.

After helping Childe, he stood up abruptly and placed his hands on your shoulder with eagerness written all over the face, "I never knew you could fight so well! How about a spar with me right now?" Expect your boyfriend to continuously bug you to indulge in his rampant itch to fight anyone that comes across as a worthy opponent. Though, the real takeaway from this experience was the way your hair clings to your face with sweat as the adhesive and the triumph look in your eyes. It was a rather attractive sight to relish in his taste.

DILUC

Your boyfriend would be infuriated that crooked people like these exist, much less target him to extort money from you. Just another validation to add up on how incompetent the Knights of Favonious is, he thought. Someone will have to clean up their mess, that someone being him. What better way to do that than to follow them to their hideout to seek out the whole organization?

Diluc is renowned for being one of the richest men in Teyvat. Naturally, the group thought they hit the jackpot on not only holding him for ransom, but potentially garnering some money from him as well.

The only concern he carries is your wellbeing. Diluc fears that this incident will affect you mentally. His head started filling up with formulations on ways to resolve this matter without causing any uproar to guarantee your safety.

When the head was introduced to him, he gritted his teeth to suppress every ounce of his might to not reach for his claymore. Diluc still has to prioritize gathering information first regarding the gang. His patrons at Angel's Share are usually the ones providing him with promising intel of any evildoers, but some things are just meant to be obtained by himself.

"Is this the only hideout you have? Quite in a shambles, don't you think?" Diluc's eyes shifted around the dilapidated building, observing the surroundings to know his enemies better.

The leader rolled his eyes, "It wouldn't be so bad once we get some funding from you and your girlfriend." Diluc hummed. Judging from his answer, it is safe to assume that the organization is rather a small scaling one. Defeating them right now will result in uprooting the source once and for all.

As Diluc was about to do so, a lackey of the gang ran frantically towards them, panting labored when he reached and trying to catch his breath. "What is it?" The leader question.

"T-there's... there's someone." He pointed towards a direction with fear layering his voice.

"What? Why are you so scared?" They all glanced towards the spot.

"I swear there was a woman! I don't know who it is, but she took out some of our guys on guard outside."

In disbelief that a woman could have done anything so reckless, the leader trudged to said location. As it is a spot lacking light, the darkness and shadow made it challenging for him to pinpoint if anyone is there. When he moved closer, you crept out behind from his blind spot and kicked the back of his head, causing his head to spin. Your arm lunged forward, gaining a tight hold onto his nape. You put everything into pushing him, his forehead hammered down to the floor. Creating a loud thud, it gave him a concussion.

"Looking for me?" Your foot stamped onto his back, just making sure he stays down.

Everyone, including your boyfriend, had their pupils dilated at the scene. You sighed at the silence, "All of you just messed with the wrong couple." Lifting your foot away, you stomped forward without giving them a second thought. Your arms and legs are all warmed up for many rounds against your foes.

Diluc watched you from afar as you drove your way towards victory. Although he could step in to help, he admits silently to himself that he would like to observe you a little longer. Putting his trust in your calibers to carry you far, his eyes never left your brave figure.

Once you cleared the group, the next thing to do is checking on Diluc. Already unfastening the restrains himself, he walked to you, "That was well executed. Your abilities shouldn't be underestimated. Don't join the Knights though." He stressed the last remark, scoffing. You chuckled and held his hand to guide him out of here, "Thanks. Glad to impress you, Master Diluc. Let's go home."

KAZUHA

Your boyfriend is a rather hard target to impose on for their plans of kidnapping him. His senses are just too refined for an ordinary person to challenge. Basic tactics, such as overthrowing him with the element of surprise have proven to be futile. Thus, Kazuha will always be able to evade falling prey into their hands.

The only way Kazuha could have been kidnapped is through falsifying evidence of you being in a life-threatening situation. Although he has successfully saved his own skin, not the same could be applied to you. Feeling his resolve shaken, what other choices could he have? Prioritizing your safety is the most important thing right now.

Kazuha may have faced similar situations in the past when out in the sea, encountering pirates of other crew aiming for the Crux Fleet's fortune. Being in the position as a captive for ransom is new. He actually found it amusing, rather than having thoughts of blaming you. It is not your fault that you are blessed with wealth. It is the fault of the criminals.

"Ain't you that the kid who's with Beidou? You're part of her crew." The leader questioned his target, to which he was greeted by Kazuha's silence. "Tell you what. You're just like the rest of us. We want to be rich. How about you ask your girlfriend to bring some more money and we'll give you a share as well?"

Kazuha's face darkened, "I don't know what you've heard, but it must be really valiant of you to assume to worst out of the Crux Fleet and myself. I'd appreciate it if you cease lumping me together with criminals like you."

The Crux Fleet does put up with an infamous reputation amongst the Qixing. Perhaps the abductors concluded that Kazuha has a negative conscience just like them, as in upholding a relationship with you to have a taste of your assets. Still, if he tried to talk his way out of it, barbarians like them will never reach a mutual understanding with him. Kazuha shut his eyes, ignoring any further confrontations to preserve his energy as he contemplates a plan.

He was interrupted when he thought he heard your voice nearby, carried by the wind. The others around him did not hear it since it was just something only Kazuha could pick up. Applying full concentration, he managed to form what he heard, "Get out of my way, please, while I'm asking nicely."

Opening his eyes, he turned to stare at the entrance. As if on cue, the door swung open when you kicked it down, announcing your presence. Some men fainted below your feet.

The others instantly reacted by storming towards your direction to stop your advancement. You stood still in your position, taking a mindful deep breath. One thing you learned from Kazuha is to always remain cold-headed before engaging in a fight.

Kazuha wanted to get out of the restraints to rescue you, but instead, you started dishing out few moves against the men.

When you thought you finished with the remaining numbers, their leader was about to declare his victory, "I got you!" Encircling his arm around your neck in an attempt to strangle you, you huffed and grinned towards Kazuha to signal him you have it under control.

You elbowed his stomach and felt him loosen his grip when he winced. Making enough gap between his arm and your neck, you slipped away and swiftly kicked in between his groins. The color drained from his face and tumbled to the ground, passing out in pain, "Hmph, this is what happens when you touch a lady without her permission." You brushed away the hair from your face after an arduous fight.

Jogging towards your boyfriend, "Kazuha!" He brisked towards you as well and held you in his embrace, softly rubbed your nape, "You're giving me plenty of inspirations for a haiku after such a wonderful performance." Kazuha would appreciate you refraining from such a heedless approach next time. He was comforted to see you safe and knowing the threats were nothing more than to use you, his weakness, against him. After witnessing that, Kazuha will be slightly ashamed he even doubted you in the first place, so he trusts that you can watch out for yourself next time.

[thatanonymouschocolate]

College AU Imagines/Headcanons D&D Edition

Wanted to do DnD since the idea of Baird being into a bunch of nerdy shit keeps swimming around in my brain..hope you enjoy 

Ps: Idk what to put for the carmines so i didn’t include them this time (i was running out of brain juice for most of these)

Baird 

Surprisingly I can see him as a the DM (Dungeon Master) he has that big creative brain creating beautiful worlds and stories for his campaigns for the players to enjoy

When he’s a player though I can definitely see him as a Cleric (his sassy, sarcastic and salty personality is just fit for it i can’t unsee him)

“If you do something stupid I am not healing your ass.”

A pretty chill DM is fine with any editions of D&D as long as he and the players are having fun 

As a DM he won’t put up with shitty players he lets that be known before the campaign even starts. Meta gaming, people with main character syndrome, murder hobos, creepy people? Yea no you’ll get the boot 

Knowing him he’d definitely use that 3D printer from class to make figures for the sessions…don’t tell his professor he’ll get his ass kicked 

Cole

Baird probably told him about D&D and Cole wanted in on it. 

Since he’s a new player it might take him a while to get the hang of it and lots of help from Baird but he’s still having fun since he’s hanging out with friends

Definitely see him as a friendly Paladin or even a non horny Bard his friendly personality just screams these classes Bard definitely calls to him the most though he uses some of his songs he’s been practicing on in role play which other players and Baird seem to enjoy.

He plays multiple instruments, mainly playing Sax but that’d be a lot to carry so to dnd sessions he brings his flute and plays songs when he’s trying to inspire an NPC or another player to add that extra pizzazz

His Charisma has mostly gotten the party out of trouble (bc salty boy baird got them in trouble as usual lol)

Dom

Our Culinary King over here always bringing food to the sessions because they can get kinda long 

He know some DnD stuff due to Maria playing and even being a DM a few times so she drags him to a session and he decided to give it a try

Can see him playing Ranger (since he’s always willing to help and is pretty resourceful with his knowledge of stuff in game)

He’s definitely likes the skills ranger gets especially animal handling (He’s been thinking about getting a dog)

The medicine and survival skills has help himself and his party especially when the cleric is injured or unconscious 

Marcus

Also a new player like Cole but is pretty quick to get the hang of it 

Would probably be a Paladin (bc of those leadership skills and wanting to do the right thing in gears games)

He’s not sure about role play so he’s mostly quiet in sessions but he does like watching the others role play 

He’s pretty invested in the story that Baird or other DM’s have for the players (probably bc of all the book club stuff Anya takes him too so it's pretty much a story that he gets to be a part of which he thinks is fun)

Is impressed about dice and eventually gets addicted to collecting them 

Anya

Is extremely excited when she here’s the others talk about DnD

Has a dice obsession and is pretty proud she got marcus into collecting dice

She’s probably be a cleric when baird is the dm but i can also see her as a druid

She and dom probably have animal companions in the campaign and are instantly emotionally attached to them

Tries to include marcus in role play and he’ll get there…eventually 

Loves that she now has something else to talk to marcus about and can see him outside of classes more often

Sam

She’s a DM when Baird isn’t

I can see her and Baird giving each other advice and tips on their campaigns and sometimes coming together to brainstorm and add stuff to their stories

Can see her playing Warlock or Barbarian when she is a player

Definitely likes character creation the most

Would probably draw out her character and make a bunch of art oher and the other’s characters

Loves painting the figures that Baird made using the 3D printer 

[ask-fantasy-sanders-sides]

So, wait, toes Remus know that Virgil is a dragon too?? if he does, did Virgil tell him or did he just figure it out?

It wasn’t too long after their escape from the prison complex that Remus got irritated.

He didn’t regret dragging the strange assassin along — after all, Remus probably wouldn't have been able to escape without him — but he was getting more and more frustrated with his lack of response to...well, anything.

Remus has attempted more than once to scare and/or gross the stranger out with diatribes of gore and violence, but that hasn't phased him at all. Really, Remus thinks he probably should have expected that response from a dark-elven warrior, but it was a little jarring to have his usual monologues accepted with little more than a cursory glare. It didn't help that he had to speak to the soldier in the goblin language, which neither of them knew well enough to share many complex ideas.

Then, there were his rages. Remus wasn't really himself in that state, and he knew he was quite the sight to those who had never heard of a barbarian. He's pretty sure that if he had some foggy awareness of the assassin being disgusted or even mildly intrigued by his berserk mode, he would have remembered them. As it stands, nothing.

Then, there was his trump card: The first time Remus let out his true form and went berserk on a few guards, the assassin barely even noticed the difference. Remus dismissed it at the time, assuming they had just been busy doing their thing and hadn’t seen him do it. But, as they were sneaking away from the castle spires the next day and he had to dispose of some noble-looking witnesses, Remus definitely saw the assassin look at his wings.

Still he made absolutely no reaction! He doesn’t seem to react to much of anything, unless he’s being mad at Remus for yelling too loud or missing a swing. Admittedly, being able to spark annoyance in the stuck-up soldier is a little fun, but even his moments of anger are few and far between.

This is the first and only time someone has seen Remus’s kick-ass undead angel wings and not had a damn thing to say about it, and Remus can honestly say he hates it.

So, now that they’re finally outside of the Colony walls (and Remus doesn’t have to worry about the assassin chewing him out for making a scene,) Remus smirks deviously at the unsuspecting drow.

“Hey! Watch this,” Remus shouts, then closes his eyes to focus.

He reaches deep inside himself to connect with that boiling mass of discordant energy — a frothing core of divine light that’s spoiling rotten and necrotic, burning away the mold, healing, and then spoiling again, over and over with each beat of his two hearts. As he’s practiced ever since he was a child, Remus grabs that energy and pulls it out, dismissing a weight in his stomach that he hardly notices until it's time to let go.

The instinctual protective glamor that hides his true form dissolves in the firelight of his true essence, as bone-like angel wings, void-like eyes, and a tidal wave of smoke pour out of Remus like air from a popped balloon. A sickly green glow outlines his irises, his scars, and emblazons the emblem of a sword over his chest. He can feel it as the energy unfurls, how the world spins and sears into focus, how his senses grow sharp and breathing is suddenly so much easier than it’s ever been before. This is what he truly is, how he really looks, and it is a figure that strikes fear and awe in every creature who has the misfortune of seeing it.

All except one. Apparently.

The assassin simply stares at Remus, stone-still as Remus’s whole fucked up magical girl cutscene plays out point-blank in front of him. The fear-inducing necrotic gas rolls past the assassin's feet and into his lungs, but nothing happens. A few seconds pass, and he still hasn’t moved, but he’s clearly not gone into shock or anything of the kind.

Eventually, the assassin gets the impression that Remus is expecting a response. So, he cocks his hip out to one side and folds his arms, mimicking the facial expression that he’s gathered humans make when they’re confused: a pointed eyebrow raise.

(Given his usual glowering expression, it comes across more like sass.)

The minute passes, and though Remus feels the smoke dissipate and his eyes and scars return to normal with a sinking feeling in his gut, the wings remain. Instead of dismissing them, Remus throws his arms out wide with a growl,

“Seriously? That’s it? You’re not scared!”

“Scared?” The assassin parrots lowly.

A wide smile stretches across his lightly-freckled face. In the space of a blink he’s behind Remus, gently peeling the barbarian’s tattered shirt away to get a better look at the base of his wings.

He lays one ice-cold hand against the divot between them, touching him clinically, like he’s trying to figure out how solid Remus's wings are. His hand smooths gently across the stump where flesh gives way to semi-transparent bone before Remus's brain catches up. He shrieks and jumps away from him,

“What the shit are you doing?!” Remus squeaks, eyes wide as saucers. He would be more embarrassed by how absolutely unthreatening he sounds right now if he didn’t still feel the shape of that hand on him like a brand.

(He decides that this is more because of the supernatural nature of his wings, and not because Remus hasn't been touched that carefully by another person since he was like eleven. He doesn’t have time to unpack that feeling whatsoever.)

“You told me to look.” The assassin teases, openly laughing at Remus’s expense.

Then, — and Remus could swear he’s doing it slowly just to make sure Remus sees him — the soldier takes a deep exhale, and his purple eye flashes a soft glow. Suddenly, his body evaporates until he is a cloud of shadowy smoke. This smoke quickly blends in with the surrounding darkness of the cavern, and before Remus can get a word in edgewise, the assassin has re-solidified and is poking his back again.

“StoOOP TOuching me!” Remus yelps and spins around to face him, face red as blood and hands up in a defensive position, “Since when could you do that?!”

The assassin rolls his eyes at this, his hands falling to his sides. Now he takes a moment to think, before reaching down to untie his dagger belt and pull his tunic loose.

“What are you doing?” Remus protests louder, covering his eyes with his hands.

The assassin doesn’t respond.

Though he’s reciting curses in his head and trying very hard to respect this stranger’s privacy, Remus’s curiosity quickly gets the better of him.

He peeks out between his fingers to find the soldier shirtless, his white hair parted and pulled over his shoulders. He looks up at Remus with a completely unimpressed stare.

The assassin reaches out to grab one of Remus’s hands, then turns to show Remus his back.

Remus stares for a moment, eyes tracing the thin, ragged lines of a latticework of scars. They stretch across and around the assassin’s back, some older and some deeper. Most seem to have been inflicted by animals or monsters rather than weapons.

Remus feels no sense of pity at the display — he’s got his own patchwork of scars and his own complicated relationship to them, but over all he sees them more as a mark of survival, as stories to tell. But, he is definitely curious, and his mile-a-minute brain is already spinning outrageous tales to match each and every mark.

Then the assassin guides his hand up towards the top of his back, just alongside his spine. The skin there feels leathery, and significantly warmer than the skin of the elf’s hand, though the heat seems to be emanating from someplace lower on his spine. It’s also slightly off-color, a bit lighter than the skin around it. Whatever this is, this scar is old.

Remus traces the outline of it up, then off to the side as it tapers to a thin line between his shoulder and the base of his neck. The assassin’s ears twitch at the gesture, and Remus’s hand flinches away.

He turns to look at Remus over his shoulder, his neutral grimace returned.

“We are the same. Shadow and wings. You are kitrye'maelthra, right?”

“I don’t know what that is.” Remus frowns, always frustrated when the assassin sneaks an elven word or two into their rare conversations,

“I’m not super good at reading energies, but you don’t feel like an angel… You have wings??”

“No.” He frowns, his gaze becoming soft and distant, “Not anymore.”

“Oh.” Remus sighs, now reeling at the possibilities.

What sort of dark elf grows wings, and how can they be removed? He winces at the phantom pain to his own wings as he parcels through every guess. Did a monster tear them off? The scar was so smooth, it seemed more like they had been burned away with acid. Did he fall into the pit of a living ooze, or maybe it was a punishment from some cruel cultist—

“Yours are broken.” The assassin pries, still staring at him while Remus zoned out.

“Broken? No they're not!”

“You have no skin.” The assassin remarks, like that should have been obvious, “And you look like a ghost.”

“Wait, skin? Like a bat?” Remus laughs, imagining it. He shakes his head, “I’m not supposed to have skin! —Well, I mean, I am, but also feathers. Y’know, like a bird?”

“Bird?” The assassin repeats, like he doesn’t understand the word. He probably doesn’t, goddamn Underdark.

“...Ehh, forget about it. I’ll show you one when we get up there.” Remus shakes his head.

The assassin pulls his tunic back up and re-ties it. While he waits, a sudden thought knocks Remus out of his gruesome imaginings.

He thinks he probably shouldn’t ask, but it takes him all of three seconds to snap and say it anyway,

“Hey,” Remus hums offhandedly, like he’s not extremely invested in knowing the answer, “If you could ‘go ghost’ or whatever this whole time, why didn’t you just poof yourself out of that cell?”

(“And why did you stay to help me?” Remus refuses to add, because he is not that attached to his little stray-criminal monsterboy, goddamnit. He refuses.)

The assassin doesn’t answer or turn back to him, simply staring off in the direction of their path.

Remus huffs and rolls his eyes,

“Fine, damn, keep your secrets. Bet you just can’t hold it that long~”

“Don’t xhandal me, lotha mal'dhalaruk. Usstan orn da'urzotreth dosst et'zarreth.”

“Again, I do not know what the fuck that is.”

[makebank]

secrets & suds

request: long request but to summarize jj is involved with a kook but hasn’t moved past hooking up, he gets in trouble for pope sinking the boat, and she decides to help out. 

word count: 2.3k

warnings: mentions of smut but none, cussing, typos, angst, fluff

He presses a quick kiss to your cheek as he throws his shirt over his disheveled head. His skin is slightly damp and glistening and some of his tufts of hair plastered to his forehead. “Gotta bounce, see you tomorrow?”

You beam at the blond from across the room and send him a smirk, “You always do”. He rushes out of your house just before dawn. JJ was always good about making sure to leave before your parents woke up, specifically your dad. You never minded the class division, but it was easy to say from your spot on the kook throne. You take a moment to regain your breath then toss yourself back onto your silky king size bed. Your satin pajama set lay wrinkled off the side of your bed, you knew he was going to love ripping off the matching outfit as soon as he saw you. 

For some time now you and JJ have had a little arrangement. And by arrangement that meant he came over most nights to fool around. Sometimes you’d get him to watch a movie or cuddle, but it was always interrupted by your parents waking up or his friends texting him for something. You weren’t exactly sure when you started to fall for the troublemaker, but it came with ease. He seemed so rough and mysterious, which is what amplified your want for him in the first place. But after closer observation, he is kind, gentle, and would do anything for you. Of course you knew it would never happen. He is too caught up in the division and himself to even want anything more than this. Not that you don’t love the time you get with him, but you crave more. 

You sigh as you stand up wrapping yourself in your fluffy robe. Peering out of your bedroom window, you watch JJ sprint across your lawn and expertly hop the high gate. 

-

Alternating between mindlessly scrolling through your phone and checking out your window, you grow impatient. JJ had never missed coming over without texting. You were worried something happened or maybe he was just bored of you. It was getting late, so you send a single text hoping he was okay and try to lull yourself to sleep.

-

The next morning you wake up and for a moment your fears weren’t there. Slowly blinking your eyes open, it all comes back to you. You reach for your phone hoping for some relief. To your dismay no new messages were from him. You jump out of bed and rush to take a quick shower. Some slight snooping wouldn’t hurt. 

You definitely weren’t close with any of JJ’s friends, but you did know where to find them. You enter the Wreck looking overwhelming overdressed in your designer shoes and this season’s newest sundress. You find a vacant booth and make yourself cozy until a curly haired girl you recognize as one of his best friends comes to get your drink order. After she introduces herself, it clicks. Kiara right you had a class with her freshman year of high school. Hm small world. She comes back with your coffee and asks what you’d like to order.

“Have you seen JJ lately?” you awkwardly ask. She shoots you a confused look before settling into a glare. “What’s it to you?” You stumble on your words, “Oh… nothing. He just normally mows our lawn on Wednesday mornings, but he didn’t show up. Just thought I’d ask”. She seems semi satisfied with your answer and doesn’t press for more detail. “Well, he’s busy. Not that it’s any of your business anyway. So do you want something to eat or not?” You weren’t sure why she was being so hostile it's not like you two ever had any direct problems. Maybe she was just being protective of her friend. You weren’t going to take it to heart. 

You slump down in your seat resigning to the fact you weren’t going to get any answers from her. “No, I think I’m good with just this. Thanks”. She huffs whatever and walks away. Just as you're about to leave you see a frantic boy rush up to the counter to Kiara. You knew it was Pope from the pictures JJ has shown you. He looks like he’s on the verge of meltdown. 

“I can’t believe JJ covered for me. Ten thousand dollars is a lot of money. I feel so bad! What do I do?” He’s running a mile a minute and Kiara tells him to lower his voice. She brings him into the back room to comfort him away from eavesdropping ears. However, you heard it all and can’t comprehend what happened that he would owe that much money. Nonetheless, you conclude that you’re going to find a way to help him, wherever he is. You drop a couple twenties leaving a hefty tip and rush out of the restaurant. 

Walking down the street you bump into the three bozos that rule your side of the island. They ogle you and shout their vulgar ‘compliments’ at you. You scoff but are well accustomed to their barbarian-like nature. As you strut away, you overhear Rafe yelling at Topper. “Dude, get over the boat! You won’t even hit on y/n with us. That Maybank kid will have to pay one way or another”. What was with today and perfect timing? You thought you were going to have to dig a little deeper.

You walk home to think of a plan. You had lots of money, but your parents would notice if you took that big of a chunk out without something nice to show in return. There was no way you could get that much, but you could find a way to get fifty percent. That would be enough to get the authorities off his back and give you time to talk down the Thorton’s. You decide you could easily sneak a couple thousand without your parents noticing, but you were going to have to figure out a way to come up with the rest. 

It dawns on you after spending all your childhood watching teen rom coms. A car wash! Everyone was always searching for one after a storm. Plus, it wouldn’t take much but a simple tweet and an instagram story to have people lining the block. You immediately text the girls’ group chat to set the plan for tomorrow. 

- 

You wake up with a spring in your step ready to put your plan into action. You frown a little knowing it was another day with no word from JJ. You hope he’s safe and just taking time to himself. 

Putting on your skimpiest bikini and shorts you gawk at yourself in the mirror. It’s not like you had a problem with showing yourself off, you just knew the attention you were in for today regardless. You were doing this for JJ though, you wanted to help him out and show him there’s a lot more to you than having money and pretending to be perfect. 

You greet all your friends and start setting up. As cars start to line up, you can’t help but giggle to yourself thinking of the stereotypical ‘Cherry Pie’ or “Milkshakes’ playing in the background of every car wash scene. You get to work flirting and scrubbing cars as you all work for every dollar. The nice thing about Figure 8 was that they were willing to spend whatever. Just as you were about to head to another car you hear someone shouting your name.

You whip around to see a red faced and furious JJ. “You’re alive!” You try to lighten the tension. “What the hell are you doing y/n?” You frown in confusion. “What do you mean? A car wash?” He doesn’t seem satisfied with your sarcasm. “You're half naked out here and all these guys can’t keep their hands to themselves,”�� he remarks annoyed while flailing his arms. You grin for a moment realizing he’s jealous, then it dawns on you, “First of all, you just disappeared off the face of the earth for days. No text or anything. Second, since when you do you care about what other guys say to me?” He crosses his arms over his body clearly irritated by your logical retort. “It’s none of your business. And I don’t care”. All the energy drains from you at the impact of his words. “Fine. Then keep not caring and leave me alone.” You swivel around stalking off to another car leaving him alone. Even if he didn’t want you, you were determined to finish your job and then move on.

You turn over your shoulder to see JJ storming off in the other direction. Your heart aches at seeing him actually leave. At least you knew he was breathing now. The next car pulls up with Pope in it. “What was that all about?” Your eyes widen at one of his friends catching you. He chuckles, “It’s okay I know about you guys. He tells me everything”. You soften knowing you weren’t a complete secret. “I’m not sure. He’s upset with me though.” He sends you an empathetic smile, “Don’t worry. He’s dealing with a lot right now. He’ll cool down eventually.” You nod your head, “Yeah, I heard about that. That’s actually what this is all for,” you admit sheepishly. Pope’s eyebrows raise with confusion. “My mom had me bring the car, because she said it was raising money for the high school”. Yikes. “That’s my bad. I kinda said it was for whatever people would listen to, so people would come”. He laughs, “Quick thinking y/l/n. You want some help?” Now it's your turn to laugh. “I’m sure we could find you some short shorts somewhere.” He parks the car off to the side and grabs a sponge to contribute. 

The rest of the day goes by with a breeze while joking with Pope and the girls. The last car drives off and you all plop on the curb for a break. You dry off your hands and start counting the money. You could almost cry happy tears. You raised over four thousand dollars. You thank everyone and promise to buy them mimosas at brunch tomorrow. For spoiled rich kids, they sure knew how to help someone in need. Pope pulls you into a side hug, “Thanks for doing this for him”. You smile squeezing him back, “thanks for helping”. 

After putting on some real clothes you stalk off to the Thorton’s. They promise they’ll leave JJ alone about the couple thousand left so it can be paid off slowly, now that they have a down payment for another boat. You breathed a sigh of relief knowing you did all you could. 

-

JJ was relaxing at John B.'s when he got a call. After hanging up, he’s elated and full of energy. He yells to the pogues, “Guys they said I don’t have to serve any time for the boat!” They all jump up excited and ask how. “They said over half of the debt has been paid, so they said I’ll have to sign up for some payment plan. But this means it won’t be on my record or anything”. They all join him in a group hug congratulating him. John B. pipes up, “Who paid it?” JJ stops for a moment considering that it wasn’t just magic, and the only person he knew that had money that knew was Kie. “Did you have your parents do it Kie? I seriously can’t thank you enough,” he picks her up into a giant hug. She shakes her head once he lets her down. “No, I wish I could’ve though. Sorry man.” 

Pope is smirking thinking about his day yesterday trying not to blow his cover. JJ notices. “What do you know, Pope?” He just shakes his head not budging. JJ throws his arm around his neck putting him into a choke hold wrestling move. Kie and John B. are enjoying watching them fight until Pope taps out. “Fine! It was y/n. That’s what the whole giant parade of cars getting washed was”. JJ freezes speechless. He turns on his heels and instantly busts out of the chateau. 

Meanwhile, you’re getting into comfy clothes preparing yourself for a lonely movie marathon tonight. Just as you settle into your thousand thread count sheets, your door swings open making you jump. “JJ you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?” He crosses your abnormally large room beelining to you. He grabs your chin and pulls you into a kiss. Your hand naturally falls to his arm as you allow him to passionately lead your lips. You pull away gasping for air. “What was that for?” 

He sits down next to you. “I am so sorry. I’m sorry for disappearing and not texting you. And I’m really sorry for being such a dick yesterday at the car wash. I didn’t know you were doing all that for me. Either way though I shouldn’t have acted like that. Thank you for what you did. It means a lot. I’ll repay you I promise”. You smile rubbing your thumb against his hand. “I forgive you. You don’t need to repay me, we worked for it. You were right though, it wasn’t my business”. He shakes his head, “I wasn’t right. I like you a lot. I’m stupid for not saying it before. I just didn’t know how to tell you about all my issues and thought I’d scare you off.”

You lean over kissing him on his cheek to soothe his obvious tension. “You can’t scare me off. And I really like you too. You can trust me with your secrets, but I’ll try not to meddle anymore if you don’t want to tell me.” Grabbing your arms to scoot you closer, he brings you in for another long and deep kiss. “Don’t worry. You can know all my secrets now,” he winks as he pulls his shirt off easing you back onto the bed. 

taglist in reblog, join in my bio

[7of-hearts]

beauyasha week day one: hurt/comfort. a 1,500 word piece about sleep!

just forewarning, there’s a brief mention of scratching/skin picking, but it’s only a sentence or so towards the beginning.

Almost every member of the Nein has trouble sleeping. Beau thinks that’s to be expected, considering all the things they’ve seen. Some nights none of them sleep, instead huddling around the fire and passing Nott’s flask around until bright oranges color the horizon. Sometimes, after the dome is set, they all simply pass out, hoping someone stays up to take watch. And there are nightmares, of course. Nights spent in the dome have made Beau intimately familiar with the aftermath. Caleb wakes up, clawing at his arms, not stopping until he recognizes the familiar curvature of the dome. Fjord sometimes gasps awake, either coughing up seawater or struggling for the breath that had been squeezed out of his lungs. Nott would wake silently, but noticeably distressed. She’d join whoever was on watch, curling her knees to her chest. Jester rarely has these night terrors, but some nights Beau will look over and see tears slowly tracking down the tiefling’s face. Caduceus is the only member of their party that Beau has never seen jolt out of a nightmare. He and Yasha, that is. 

Beau is pretty sure Yasha does have nightmares, in fact, she’s nearly positive of it. It’s just that Beau has never seen Yasha fall asleep. Not really, anyways. She’s up most nights, sitting on the outskirts of the dome and digging her hands into the grass beneath them. When Yasha does lay down, she doesn’t sleep. Instead, she gently takes the book from the bottom of her bag. Beau’s spent multiple nights (nights she was supposed to be keeping an eye out) watching Yasha lightly run her fingers over pressed flower petals, almost as though she were in prayer. But she never sleeps. Beau can’t help but wonder if she’s got too many demons pressing against her to let her eyes slip closed. 

_____

The first time Beau actually sees Yasha fall asleep, it’s when she’s watching the memory of her and Zuala. And part of her mind wants nothing more than to catalogue the peace that falls over Yasha’s face as she rests, but Beau won’t let herself. It feels voyeuristic, like she’s stealing the intimacy and comfort that Yasha has found. So she forces herself to turn away, picking at her nails and letting her eyes flit around the darkness before her. 

When her watch comes to an end, Beau allows herself one moment to look. Just a second, she tells herself, to make sure Yasha’s actually getting some sleep. And as she watches the soft rise and fall of the barbarian’s chest, she can’t help the soft tug at the corner of her mouth. It’s still there when she turns, kneeling down to wake Fjord up for his shift. She sleeps lightly that night, waiting for a light inhale or the errant clap of thunder.

_____

Their first night in the tower, Beau doesn’t sleep at all. That’s going to be useful. Beau can’t get the sentence out of her head. She sits on the bed, staring up at that godsdamned mirror, wondering what the hell Yasha meant by that. A small part of her keeps wondering if Yasha likes her too, but she won’t let herself actually consider that. Thoughts like that bring about too many questions. Does she actually like me? Why now? How do I go about this, I’ve never really been in a relationship? Do I just ask her out? And what after that? She’s stuck in an endless cycle, thoughts spiraling until she finally gives up on sleep. 

“Might as well get some reading done,” She mumbles to herself, pushing herself off the bed and out the door. She walks quietly, weight placed on the side of her foot first. Just like when she used to sneak out as a kid. The thought makes her huff, a small frown over her features as she steps into the library. She’d expected it to be empty, but there, nestled into an armchair with a book open on her lap is Yasha. Beau can’t help but think this is some kind of cosmic irony. 

“Oh, sorry, did I wake you?” Yasha asks when she looks up to find Beau at the entrance. Beau shakes her head, mute for a moment until she realizes she should probably respond.

“Ah, no, just couldn’t sleep. Figured I might as well do something useful,” She says eventually, still locked in place. Yasha nods—something that resembles understanding in her gaze—before her mismatched eyes return to her book. Beau feels her bones unfreeze, and she shakes the imaginary frost from her body and makes her way to the bookshelf, pulling down a random tome. The Knight of Flame and Sword, the title written in a curly script that reminds Beau far too much of her mother. She shrugs, turning from the shelf and making her way to one of the other armchairs. 

She sits for an hour, maybe two, not absorbing any of the novel in her lap. Her thoughts are still drifting to the woman maybe fifteen feet from her despite her best attempts to focus. Another half-hour passes, Beau reading the same passage over and over when a dull thud startles her from her thoughts. She bolts upright, her own book falling off her lap as she enters a defensive stance. Her eyes dart around the room, searching for any hint of danger before they settle on Yasha. The woman’s eyes are closed, legs pulled up onto her chair, and the book she’d been reading has fallen spine up to the ground. Beau drops her stance, features relaxing as she makes her way across the room.

“Yasha. Hey, Yash, wake up,” She says, aiming for quiet but hitting something closer to her usual tone. Yasha shifts, but doesn’t wake, so Beau pokes her shoulder a bit. At the contact, Yasha snaps awake, and Beau almost expects giant ghastly wings to come shooting out of her back. Instead, Yasha blinks the sleep out of her eyes, sinking back into the chair when she sees Beau standing next to her.

“Sorry, you fell asleep. Thought I should wake you, no point in sleeping down here when we’ve got such nice rooms. And, uh, I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable. So, y’know.” 

“Thank you, Beau,” Yasha says, pushing herself to her feet. She wobbles a little, her brain still sleep-addled, and Beau steps forward to steady the taller woman on instinct. “‘m sleepy.”

“C’mon, let's get you to bed,” Beau chuckles, moving to wrap her arm around Yasha’s waist and lead her out of the library. They walk slowly, Yasha’s sleepy form leaning against Beau, but eventually, they reach the barbarian’s door. Beau pulls it open, walking Yasha inside and setting her on the bed. The monk watches as she curls into her pillows, her body so small despite her size. 

“Goodnight Yasha,” She whispers, quietly backing out of the room. She hears a faint “G’night Beau,” as she slips back into the hallway.

_____

Beau had never expected this to be her life. Never expected to live past 19, no less. But here she is, Yasha’s head on her chest, hand tracing patterns along her bare shoulder. The night had been perfect, and every time Beau closes her eyes she sees the way Yasha’s had sparkled in the light of the fireworks. She feels so content, despite everything.

A minute or two passes, Beau’s not sure, and she feels Yasha stir, a sharp gasp escaping her. The arm over her stomach squeezes her a little tighter and she stops her tracing.

“Yash?” No reply, but she feels Yasha nuzzle into her a bit further. “Babe, what’s wrong?”

“Dream. Or, a nightmare I guess,” Comes the hushed response, Yasha’s breath fluttering across her collarbone. 

“What about?”

“The cathedral,” Yasha whispers, “And then Lucien. And I—I wasn’t there to save you,” 

Quiet overtakes them for a minute, Beau trying to find the right words. She taps Yasha’s arm, the barbarian looking up at her (Is that fear?) before removing it. Beau shuffles down the bed, turning to face the woman beside her before guiding Yasha’s hand back around her waist. 

“You’re here, Yasha. You’re here and I’m ok. From now on we’ll save each other, alright?” Beau brings her hand up to Yasha’s cheek, Yasha leaning into the touch for a moment before nodding. The silence rushes back in as Beau leans in to kiss Yasha’s forehead, the larger woman tucking herself into the contours of the monk’s body. 

Beau waits, listening to Yasha’s soft breathing until she hears it even out. She knows that everything in their lives is uncertain. Maybe she should feel selfish for letting herself want this, much less have it. But she also knows that she loves Yasha, and maybe for right now she can let that be enough.

[linxuelian]

I found a Chinese BL Warring States Game of Thrones, three years older than The Untamed

And I just had to write a review about it! It’s 60 episodes long so I haven’t finished it yet at the time I’m writing this - but I decided to just go ahead and recommend it anyway.

Why, you ask?

For one, it’s Romance of the Three Kingdoms with all the Hollywood action and adult HBO things. It’s got explosions:

Horses falling down:

People getting flogged:

Sweaty soldiers getting mauled to death:

Children used as hostages:

Dead bodies presented in court:

Stylish dye jobs:

Loving father figures:

A Jon Snow lookalike:

And very gay innuendo:

That’s right, unlike The Untamed, which was first written as a straight series featuring Wen Qing as the main female lead and then rewritten again after fans of the novel decided to boycott it, this series was written to be gay from the very beginning. It got taken down by the Chinese Censorship Board after twelve episodes and river-crabbed to death, but a good number of scenes survived censorship. Those that did not made it to BiliBili in the form of “hidden” videos and disguised as “music videos”.

That’s not all. For a warring period Wuxia series, it’s got very beautiful actors, backdrops and clothing. It’s dressed like a fairy tale, with different kingdoms sporting different colours and styles in fashion and tastes.

In terms of art direction, it’s pretty low-budget for a series but the team makes good use of existing props, locations and brighter-coloured fabric to make up for the quality. The costume design is more fantasy-based than period, and the vivid takes and angles in the first season add to its charm.

There’s also its complex story line, which brings us to...

Men with Swords is not a title for the faint-hearted. There is an acute absence of black-and-white morality depicted in it.

If you think a BL series with such beautiful backdrops and fairytale-like clothes is for the simple-minded, one-track-good-vs-evil sort, think again. The series is a tale about Murong Li, a vengeful prince disguised as a musician and his rise to power, leaving behind a trail of death and destruction in its wake.

Where The Untamed fails at delivering gray morality unlike the novel it’s adapted from, choosing to alter its script to fit a more general audience (a commercially-wise decision which got it into Netflix), Men with Swords succeeds in faithfully telling a tale where there is no good or evil, only humanity, jealousy, grudges, rebellion, loyalty, life, death, greed and love.

Everyone has both good and bad sides, just different camps and motives. Men with Swords tells the story from not just one person’s perspective, but from the perspective of many different people, all of whom become entangled in a battle for their figurative Iron Throne - to become the king of the world.

There are no “what ifs” in this story, only decisions, reactions and repercussions

A prevailing theme in this series is that there are no “what ifs” and no turning back in life, only things that have happened and will happen. Murong Li starts his journey as a prince who has lost everything and a victim of war, wandering around for three years while being put down and getting sexually harassed, eventually losing it, taking his chances and hardening his heart as he walks down his conniving, badass path of destruction towards the top.

Men with Swords is not a series for the faint-hearted. It’s a game of chess where the main character, Murong Li, is cunning and decisive, cold and ruthless and many recurring characters die horrible, sudden deaths, friend and foe alike, a la Attack on Titan.

The series is filled with political strife and warfare, peppered with some sweet, comedic and romantic undertones. There is a stark contrast between fluffy and dark in its narrative, which is pretty refreshing overall.

With that all aside, I know what you’re probably scrolling down for:

The main characters and their boyfriends

This is it. This is what you’re here for. Most “BL” series are actually bromances, but the real upside for a BL fan is that this show is not a bromance - it’s a BL title, and even with censorship, the love stories prevail.

I’m going to put this under a cut because it’s LONG AF, but what that means is that there is a LOT of BL content available, and not the type that you have to hunt for. They’re very open about it.

While the show itself has a lot of ships, there’s a larger focus on three main ones, namely the beautiful Murong Li and two powerful kings, the fairy-like Ling Guang and his servants, and King Jian Bin with his general.

Murong Li: Da Ji 2.0 and his rich and powerful kings

If you’re a Jin Guangyao fan, you’ll probably enjoy Murong Li and his elegant, charming viles and ruthless scheming. He’s a surprisingly good fighter too, and unlike most elegant and waif-like beauties in dramas and novels alike, he’s a beauty with brains who uses his physical weakness as his strength, bending and seducing his way up to power.

Murong Li only really goes after rich and powerful people, worming his way into the kingdom and taking them down from the inside. Two main love interests are King Zhi Ming, the childish but rich king of Tianquan:

And Yu Xiao, a powerful barbarian king with a soft heart:

Murong Li, while wandering around as a musician, picks up many tricks along the way to hone himself. He’s adept at dressing up, making himself look helpless and alluring to bewitch powerful men, for one:

See that small smile right there? Yes, our boy knows what he’s doing.

Aside from that, Murong Li’s also pretty good at manipulating people by using their jealousies and insecurities, getting them to fight with each other over him.

Murong Li, although modeled after the cruel and beautiful Murong Chong, the Emperor of Wei, is likened to Da Ji, the favorite consort of the King Zhou of Shang. Da Ji was said to be a malevolent fox spirit who started the art of foot-binding to hide her fox feet. Everyone else looking in can see it, but the King was blinded, just like Murong Li’s powerful love interests. In fact, the series draws a direct parallel to it:

The Guo Shi here uses the term “yao”, which alludes to a malevolent spirit.

It’s not that Murong Li doesn’t have a weakness, though. Just like every Jin Guangyao has a Lan Xichen around to cause him to slip now and then, Murong Li surprisingly is weak towards the most naive and childish character in the series, the truant King Zhi Ming, whose only qualities are having purple bangs and being rich and playful.

No matter how calculative and ruthless Murong Li is in the series, he does end up almost slipping up and giving everything away when it comes to this bumbling fellow:

He’s saved only at the nick of time by one of his followers. Murong Li tells a lot of lies, but the one thing he can’t lie about are his feelings towards King Zhi Ming, who is ultimately the one thing he can’t give up next to his kingdom.

There’s a lot more one can write about a complex character such as Murong Li, but the second ship is just as good. It features:

Ling Guang: The Ex-Arrogant Depressed Hamster hung up over a dead ex

Ling Guang, the mortal enemy and foil to Murong Li, is a baby-faced, very-much-older-than-he-looks character whose sole purpose in this series is to wear frilly magenta clothing, destroy the kingdom of Yaoguang, set Murong Li down a path of vengeful destruction and piss off eligible, probably younger bachelors by comparing them to his very handsome, very loyal and very dead boyfriend, his personal guard, Qiu Zhen, who died sometime over thirteen years ago.

The bachelors’ pissed off takes to this are particularly priceless:

Here’s another one from season 2:

That HMPH face is to die for.

Ling Guang’s delusions are met head-on by these eligible bachelors, his ministers and his allies alike:

Only to be met by a, “haha, NO.”

Frustrating, right? It only gets worse as the series progresses. Due to Wuxia’s fantastical existence of sword souls, he begins to actively test his subjects out to see if they’re his dead boyfriend, whose sword soul is still alive:

Gu Shi’an: WTF.

So why do these eligible, handsome bachelors, particularly this guy from season two, jump at his lap every chance they get?

First off, he’s very, very pretty. He’s arguably the prettiest and fanciest king in the series, with a cute rounded face, favoring fluffy organza, frills and feathers in his garb, and sporting fabulous curls like that of a swan princess on a good day.

Secondly, and more importantly, it’s likely because he’s the type loyal dogs adore.

He’s stupidly and openly attached to his bodyguards and servants, unable to hide his feelings or control them. Ling Guang’s relationships are technically the opposite of Murong Li’s. While Murong Li hides his feelings and goes after men of power and tends to use them before leaving them, Ling Guang’s willing to sacrifice everything, including his kingdom, his health and his own life for men who are merely servants.

He's a king who doesn’t know proper protocol. He’s the type who’ll demand to eat with you at the same table:

Creeps outside the palace to see you off:

Hugs your sword around like a pillow while he waddles around listlessly and sleeps with it by his side after you’re long dead (grand total: 13 years):

Coddles you when you’re sick:

Takes arrows for you:

Isn’t afraid to cry and tell you how it is:

Faints violently and won’t rest until he can get your stolen body back:

The results?

If he’s not what loyal bodyguards like, I don’t know what he is. If Murong Li’s love interests have to pit themselves against each other to show how useful they are for his sake, Ling Guang’s love interests need to wrestle with a dead man he can’t let go of... which is hopeless, because you can’t kill a guy who’s already dead.

As a foil to Murong Li, what’s also interesting to note is that it’s alluded to and foreshadowed that he’s exactly the sort the loyal Yu Xiao, the current barbarian king, would have loved to have as a lover - honest, loyal and doting - unlike Murong Li himself. Gongsun Qian, a deputy minister with great foresight, had wanted Ling Guang to go to see the new barbarian kingdom, but he had refused to go outside the palace, shutting himself inside like an otaku. This decision ultimately gave Murong Li a step forward with his plans, at the great cost of four kingdoms, including his own.

Jian Bin: My boyfriend can (REALLY) fight

Next up is Jian Bin and his general. Jian Bin’s the king of Tian Ji, a new kingdom founded by astrologers. The catch here is that Jian Bin and his boyfriend, Qi Zhi Kan, are both men of science, and this tank of a boyfriend is a genius on the battlefield who doesn’t give a single shit about star signs, astrology and superstitions.

A story between a serious, loving king and his handsome general who was once a simple sword-maker in the woods, King Jian Bin meets his handsome ex-lumberjack boyfriend when he’s attacked, falls down from his horse and is rescued by the man himself.

Jian Bin then brings the guy back to his palace and dresses him in armor:

This puts the king’s general on the war path of several ministers and the superstitious people in their kingdom. As lovers, the two go through various trials together in an attempt to run their kingdom their way.

Qi Zhi Kan may seem like a herbivore in front of the king, but he’s really not one at all. He’s terrifying to a degree when it comes to warfare, and very, very difficult to take down. Unlike the other ministers, Qi Zhi Kan knows that he can expand the kingdom quickly and solve problems by waging war.

Even his allies are scared of him:

Ultimately, it’s a ship meant for those who like watching the king teasing his loyal subject and caressing armor whenever he’s around AND not around. Jian Bin even admits to it on-scene:

This loving and devoted couple were originally blessed as the ones with the most piggyback scenes, tender bandaging-your-chest and armor fondling, but they got censored unfortunately.

Scenes like these made the cut, though:

And that’s it! There are actually other minor ships, but these are the main ones for now.

If you’re sold and interested in the show, the series is available online on Rakuten Viki. https://www.viki.com/tv/35524c?locale=zh