#he dropped out of school for her my guys
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OK BUT GO OFF YOU ARE SO RIGHT
that boy LOVED his mom. he did EVERYTHING for her. he took care of her for a year when she started getting sick.
Anyway fic where Jason's best memory/person he loves most/deepest desire is revealed through magic or something but instead of anything to do with the bats or being a vigilante it's him and Catherine. His best memory is his first time visiting the public library with his mom. The person he loves most is the first person who ever loved him. His deepest desire is that his parents never died and he grew up in that little east end apartment and he graduated top of his class and he became a doctor and he got his folks a bigger house and he visits them regularly with his normal civilian boyfriend and they accept him and he's happy. If any of you even care.
#bat rambles#i'll even pull up the fucking panels if i have to like#ugh his robin run is so good#also one of the BIGGEST worries bruce had at the start of Jason's run?#that jason was going to kill two-face bc two-face killed his dad#his parents are supposed to be two people who got swept up into shit bc of poverty and the cycle you get trapped in when you're that deep i#and his dad was just some random goon who fucking died#like Jason is the child of one of these people that Batman often just beats the fuck out of and jails#and jason had to take care of his sick mom until she fucking died on him#when bruce found him he was just kinda chilling in the abandoned complex he had been taking care of her in#and jason didn't really give a fuck about his dad#but he cared enough that he was big mad when he faced two-face again#but his love for his mom is why he went so fucking feral looking for her#bruce also fucked up a LOT with jason#he tried to send him to ma gunn's school at first which. bad idea.#but jason fucked her shit up bc he's smart as hell and very determined to be his own man#and then he doesn't trust jason with two-face#and again later when he thinks jason killed the guy who brutalized (and murdered) the sex worker before Bruce was like#ok ur done with robin now ur trauma is TOO MUCH#like babes bruce was so bad with him#he has happy memories of being robin#and he has a few memories here and there of being happy like the school stuff in the comic where he's doing the extra credit at the museum#or when he joins the theater club#but he never really fit in with either. he had been through too much to connect w people his age#and then he found out his mom was actually alive#after taking care of her for a fucking year#stealing and bringing her food#he dropped out of school for her my guys#that boy is a mama's boy#jason todd
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the difference that offering a child kindness and compassion can make... one of the kiddos was crying the other morning missing her mom. Sobbing crying. and i talked to her and she wasn't able to say very much from crying so hard but confirmed that she knew her mom was going to be back and it was going to be a good day and it was going to be alright but she was just inconsolable. and we did some good breaths together but she just couldn't get her breathing under control. so for like ten minutes i just had her drink some water and gave her a hug and sat with her while she cried until we were going off to the next activity and she had to go with different counselors. and by then she'd calmed down a little but was still sniffling and obviously upset but the important part is that even though i didn't even get her to stop crying anytime i saw that little girl the rest of that day and now throughout the rest of the Week after just sitting with her and offering some compassion i see her notice me as she goes by and she always looks right at me and smiles and gives me a little wave when i say hi. like we haven't had any other conversations since then but i can see the way that she recognizes me now. i'm not her favorite counselor i haven't spent more than twenty minutes with her tops but that little girl takes the time to seek out my acknowledgement cause i showed that i care about her.... y'know... cause i was gentle with her and that meant something to her... all to say. it doesn't matter if you have extended interactions with kids. it really doesn't. small things can make such a huge impact on children and i really sincerely think it's so important to show them kindness... help them up when they fall. give them a hug. sit with them while they cry. cause even if it doesn't Fix things even if you don't solve the problem or do anything really materially Helpful you will have shown that child that people care about them. and they notice... they remember... they do...
#man. mira won't even speak to me really but i can Tell it's significant to her when i say hi and call her by name#crazy... you have such power as a grownup to make an impression in a kid's life....#and in such small ways too. she's probably not going to remember me after a month or two.#but also one of my kiddos who i've known for a couple years now#his first week of summer camp he was just distraught every time he got dropped off. sobbing crying.#little incoming kindergartener and he was in water games camp and did not want to get wet. poor thing.#and i was the person there when he got dropped off that week and i sat with him and comforted him and got him calmer#and that kiddo is like My child at this point haha i adore him and he says all the time that i'm his favorite counselor#but huge point of it... two full years later... he will still tell Other people that i am his favorite counselor 'because i helped him'#when he was first starting camps. makes a specific point to say it. multiple other counselors have told me that he's said that to them.#so like... man... kids remember.... they really do...#ten thousand little reasons for my little guy to enjoy hanging out with me during summer camps/after school programs#but he specifically remembers that i was someone who took the time to care about him... heartwrenching. every time#anyway#valentine notes
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help rafi is my irl name and her hair even looks like my preferred hairstyle (havent been able to get haircut recently bc busy) 😭 i feel like im ur oc fkdjsj
DSKJGKJDGHGDH tbh i just took a rather common name + hairstyle from where i live 😭 she'd probably go by a different name eventually but unfortunately that also requires me to come up w that. so. 👍
in the meantime heres her and aiza hanging out in town :]
#asks#anonymous#dress code rules where im from or at least in my own experience were pretty strict sjkdjkdghg#the combined middle school-hs i dropped out of ive seen guys with hair just a bit too long be brought to the front of the class and#get it cut by the teachers themselves after several warnings. honestly was pretty uncomfortable#the one in the doodle was a wig she borrowed from aizas own trans uncle!!! hes a stylist and also ends up giving her a lot of his own old#clothing whenever she comes visit with aiza :]#i think when shes older though rafi'd have shoulder length ish hair :0#duck ocs#rafi#aiza
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We rlly don’t need another majima game 😭 please give other characters a chance he already had the spotlight in 0😔
lord if i speak on goro majima.
#snap chats#my last nerve was seeing him front and center on that Three Legends shirt with daigo and saejima im SICK OF HIM#what do you MEAN the Sixth Chairman is backseating majima. like thats his retainer PUT DAIGO UP FRONT#it aint even bias its gen just like. why is the sixth chairman not treated the most important. thats The Chairman of the whole shit#EX chairman whatever we know what i mean#'snap its just a shirt' and these are just my balls alright its all the little things that are like Dawg Cmon#i woulda got the shirt cause it looks like somethign youd get from claires and thats hilarious However ... im annoying.#ill say this then play y0 and be like Ah..... i love you...#fr tho im sick of him GO AWAY YOU ARE NOT THAT GUY#im that meme of spiderman holding back the train and the trains saying mean things about majima#this ire is only brought by rggtwt mates insisting majima needs any more content. like at all.#they gave majima a y0 statue but as far as i can see kiryu doesnt have one like What.#ik i say id skip y0 kiryu if i could during replays and its never that serious but still .... the hell...#my brother in christ majima does not need any more why are you acting starved#i get it hes your fave but my god. goku this trains heavier than i thought i cant do it#ive had beef with rggtwt ever since they tried to say majima was more important to kiryu than haruka. like brb eating a cactus#rgg making gaiden was the worst thing they couldve done cause now everyone wont stop mentioning charas getting a gaiden game#MAJIMA OF ALL OF THEM DOES NOT NEED ONE MFER THATS WHAT Y0 WAS FOR. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT#THEY GAVE HIM AN EXTRA STORY IN YK2 ALSO LIKE RGG IS DOING THE MOST FOR A SIDE CHARACTER#anyway this is why im happy saejima and akiyama are getting figures. ESPECIALLY AKIYAMA#I FEEL LIKE WE NEVER SEE SHIT OF THAT GUY and saejima. tbh. but still ... akiyama esp just feels left out#big hope other charas start to get more love. like my daughter haruka ok rgg plesae drop one of her idol statues thank you#on a lighter note september is almost upon us which means two things#1.) i have to move back to school at the end of the month 2.) rgg news is soon .....#SOOO curious as to what's on the horizon .. maybe ill stream it for the first time in nine thousand years#ok bye im gonna eat cereal <- diced spam and rice
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yall ever end up thinking back on periods of ur life and ur like. bro what
#so i dropped out of school at like 13/14 to be home fulltime to take care of my grandparents yeah yeah whtever#whats insane is remembering that when i was 15 my mom tried to arrange a marriage for me with some guy who was in his early 20s#he was the deacons EXTREMELY autistic son and we had spoken like. 3 times. it had been fine like he was pretty cool#but like. she talked me into tentatively agreeing with her. she went to talk to the deacon and everything about it#fucking hello? hello? taps the mic isaiah southern baptist child bride real?#that always pulls the same thread in my brain of how my grandparents died only a month or so apart#so the pastor had just finished doing my grandmas memorial service when we asked him to do the funeral service to bury them both together#and the first thing out of his fucking mouth was 'hah wow didnt expect to see all of you again so soon!'#and that pavilion was SILENT. besides like someone sniffling#awkward fuckhead piece of shit that guy sucked#yk he once threw away what he had written all his notes to preach on bc a gay couple had just moved to the area and wanted to try our churc#so he spent the whole time ranting about how gay people go to hell instead and they left in the middle of it crying#hell on earth.#my mom convinced him to start a school thru the church and i dont think ANY of their teachers went to college besides literally 1#bc she had just retired from the local middle school and had the free time to participate#but then i guess it all just comes back around#my brother graduated from there and became a ta when he was 18 and started dating a 14/15yo so#genuinely so glad i got the fuck outta there#what a nightmare that town was. christ
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I saw your post about your gender feelings. Hang in there, bud.
If it helps, I was once told that no cis person ever questions "what they are", they just are. I get the imposter syndrome though, and the disconnect between your day to day and a small haven of peace where you can be yourself. I come from a conservative background, without any of the queer influences I enjoy today.
We're constantly growing, constantly learning new things about ourselves; I think that's part of the journey of being queer, rather than any indication you don't belong or aren't queer enough. You have a significant added challenge in exploring too and I hope one day they're gone. Much love and solidarity to queer Russians. 💜🤍💛💚
Already was on the brink of tears and now am crying, mate
Thank you, that thing about cis people not questioning kinda helped actually. I was told same about mental health issues (at least those can be confirmed with a paper and a stamp, huh). So i guess yeah. True. It's just the terf rhethoric about being confused and actually just seeking a way around patriarchy and all that bullshit that gets under my skin.
I'm happy you're free from those things in your past though, gonna live out my gay dreams through you and your art then, lol <3
I think another thing that is gnawing at me is that I am actually priviledged (and/or lucky). I had a lot of queer experiences that many other queer people here are absolutely robbed of. So it feels as if I'm kinda taking what they deserve more. Or that I can't be grateful enough for being able to have these things while others can't because I'm out here not even knowing what I am.
Anyway. Love wins. And we're here, proud and queer.
Love you 1969 times, thank you.
#juju's replies#on-a-lucky-tide#gonna come back to this a lot probably#also not me reaching for my cigs every time you mention nik's homophobic background in your works#although. i kinda like to imagine he was there in the heart of the soviet queer scene sometimes.#fun fact: for some reason my very homophobic mother was the one who showed me some “gay spots” here in moscow#i have no idea how she even knew#i mean like spots queer folks were gathering at like in the 80s#sorry i ended up ranting below in the tags you don't have to read it i really appreciate your support mate#you're a real one#my queer experience is so fucking weird mate. i literally used to kiss girls out in the broad daylight few kilometers away from kremlin#but had to invent hiding spots for the pride flag and socks my friends gifted me so that mum wouldn't throw them away (she still did)#also i think my dad knew despite me never mentioning it??? he just casually dropped something like about my “boyfriend. or girlfriend”#never elaborated#and i found out my sister was queer FROM HER GAY FRIEND#AS WE WERE OGLING TRAINERS IN A ROCK CLIMBING HALL WE WENT TO TOGETHER#and he was drooling over the guy. and i was over the girl. and he was like “oh so it runs in the family”#i was like ??? my sis literally never said anything we just started exchanging gay memes#everyone at school knew what i was and yet i still had to make my fairy tales only queer coded to avoid getting taxed for “propaganda”#it's just constant cognitive dissonance#but i do still have it so so so much easier than other queer people here#hell even people i went to school with had and have it worse than me#so not like i have much to complain about#gotta get a grip and fight for them#thank u.
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have y’all been streaming kimikawaii~~?
#silly little edit from a few days back that i made while skipping a dinner with the extended family lmao#the rest of the mona cds (aside from the one in her hands) s t a y e d in bc fansa shichauzo yk#i miss mona… i w a s thinking about tling at least a few pages of idol sengen tomorrow (since it’s a holiday)#then i received the handover (of job tasks) that im apparently supposed to do on friday and. lol. byebye idol sengen…#man. im not even formally trained for like half of friday’s tasks… but o h w e l l.#as an aside: im not so secretly envious of the dude who joined at the same time as me. he seems to be vibing pretty well over ‘ere.#he even said that working is ‘like being in a school lab’ with the furnace being the most dangerous thing he has to use#but if this guy’s having so much fun w h y do i have to handle concentrated acids every day???? aaaaaaaa this isnt fairrrr#though. here’s a psa for all ye acid handlers out there: always make sure the exhaust of your fumehood/fume cupboard is switched on#aka ‘i thought that id be fine using the fumehood with the exhaust off bc i was just gonna pour 2 acids. then i saw the fumes.’#i dont think i’ll forget the sight of the white vapours wafting off my concentrated hydrochloric acid for at least 3 days…#um. well. that’s enough about work tales™️. anyway!!!! stream kimikawaii!!!!!#so glad kimikawaii mv dropped last week frrr it saved my life (exaggeration)#i even recalled my childhood friend(?) of sorts thanks to it even though i haven’t thought about him in years… wonder how he’s doing though…#aaaaand yup. that’s it from me~~~~ stream kimikawaii and manifest ckun mv for soon™️!!!! that’s all gn guys~~~~
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what is the point of having a house if not to let all your friends move in with you for a bit while they get back on their feet
#my coworker was talking about how her sister keeps telling her to move down to nc and live with her for a while but coworker doesn’t want to#bc her sister is ‘too generous’ - she has a guy they were distant friends with as children sleeping on the couch for the past month ish bc h#e was discharged from the military due to too many TBIs and needs a place to stay since he has no family + the spare room is being used for#a few months by another distant past friend who had to drop out of grad school (but she’s moving out next month which is why the sister want#s coworker to move in next)#and i’m like GOD that’s the dream. i want a big big house with a million rooms so everyone knows if they need a place to stay they can come#stay with me. i want all of my friend’s first thought to be ‘ddr can help me out’ when housing is complicated#i wish kayla and nina would live with me i would take naps with kayla and make sure nina eats every few hours and i wouldn’t mind the mess o#r coming/going at strange hours bc bitch me too and also i love you i want you to sleep well i want to be there for you
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just finished rick and morty season 2 and god. i wish season 3 was just summer going on romps to try and save her grandfather from space prison. intersected with sideplots of her grandfather being interrogated for info and giving a different backstory each time.
#random thoughts#guess what motherfuckers it's blue man time#summerrr <3 my favorite. they did nothing with you#morty could be her guy in a chair. he would not be there on adventures at first but he would give her advice to keep her from dying#summer corruption arc. summer 'drops out of school and starts doing space drugs' corruption arc. summer 'just like her granddaddy' smith#jerry would be SO fucking mad like he JUST got what he wanted (house free of rick) and now there's ANOTHER ONE???#beth. hm. i think it would be a source of introspection for her?#like 'oh god is this how he influenced my kids' 'if i wont tolerate this behavior from my daughter how could i tolerate it from him'#orrr 'my dad just left us and now my daughter's becoming just like him oh GOD'#so afraid her daughter will leave one day and never come back#but she doesn't have the words to say this so she just. avoids her. holding her at a distance. bracing herself from the pain of loss#in her mind summer's already gone#OOOOOR jealous? inspiration for space beth?#summer has her own homoerotic situationship with an alien <3 summer bisecksual momence#rick seeing this after he's rescued. proud? disappointed in himself?
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*coming back from the dead* I am so gay for Arlecchino *dies again*
#Arlecchino#Genshin impact#School has been full on#I only had 4 hours of sleep last night to work on a project (one that I’ve spent ~20 hours on)#But that was my final piece of work. I’m free now I can sleep finally#I’m going to bed rn snosnosnomimimi but I wanted to lay out my opinion on the new video#Which is that Arleccino is very cool and I will skip pretty much everyone for her#I don’t care much for the others yet except my son Freminet. If they develop the girls well then maybe I’ll like them too#I saw someone speculate that the Tea Guy was blind and if he actually is I would absolutely love him#For now I live with my Dehya prosthesis headcanons and that’s about it#Anyway I’m alive! And about to drop off bc I’m tired as all hell#(Excited for 3.8 tomorrow also :3)
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Nope, I'm still crying
#i wish literally anybody from school remembered me#literally only 2 people i was friends with hace talked to me in the past four years#i had the realization tonight that i was never given the choice to nurture most of my friendships#everytime i tried outside of school hours including trying to join clubs my mom would make me leave halfway through then lecture me#that she didn't have time to drive to town and get me#but as soon as my brother wanted to join junior air force she suddenly had all the time and energy in the world to devote to that#so what I'm getting here is that my friendships and interests weren't important enough or worth her time#i wasn't interested in Junior air force 1 cause it wasn't offered to me and 2 I'm not a boit licker#no#i was interested in the video game and board game clubs cause my friends were in them and they WANTED me to join#but after not getting to stay for more than one full session after a month i left the board game club cause it wasn't fair to the others#and i only went to the video game clu once and i don't remember much of it cause i was too anxious that she was gonna flip on me#i kept waiting for her text but instead she showed up at the classroom and made me leave#so when the same teacher that ran the board game club asked if i wanted to join the chess club cause he knew i liked chess#i told him i couldn't cause i was too busy because i didn't want to deal with begging my mom to let me join#she would have said yes but would have continued not letting me stay and being super passive aggressive#I'm not even in the year book for the year my friends graduated#the one thing she did let me do was drama and i hated every second of it. it was genuinely a bad experience for me#yeah i had friends in drama but it's not the same as hanging with my nerdy guy friends playing a star wars ttrpg#the worst part is she gets so defensive when i bring it up and won't give me a reason outside of 'I guess I'm just the worst parent'#it's in those moments i really remember she's the youngest in her family#OH!! it gets worse! she told me when i was younger that she had to be an honorary cheer leader cause HER MOM absolutely refused to#let her join cheer and she's alsways been bitter about it but then she turns around and did basically the same thing to me ffs#at least she was allowed to hang out with people after-school i wasn't allowed to do that either#no. instead i spent the hours after shcool alone most days and my weekends home alone in my room. and she wonders why my social skills are#maybe if I'd been allowed to work on my relationships outside of a classroom i wouldn't have felt so abandoned when everyone i knew#graduated without me. maybe if i didn't have to start back at square one socially again and had people to text and hang with after class#i wouldn't have dropped out. and i think only atlas knows i dropped out. idk how to text these people without spunding like I'm looking for#sympathy when they ask what I'm up to. like yeah I'm stuck at home with an anxiety disorder and unemployed trying to get on disability#prisma vents
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I bought a linkin park cd today and my mum has already stolen it for her car-
#im cackling#i said she could borrow it but i wasnt expecting her to unwrap it on the same day i bought it and take it with for her evening exercise- 😅#to be fair i currently habe one of het LP cds in my car#sharing is caring (as long as it's linkin park CDs)-#she played lp on my way to my first day at school when i was 5 and i swear down they've been with me ever since#it was Crawling that pkayed when she dropped me off for ref-#ugh i fucking LOVE linkin park#i remember going to uni and having consumed a bottle of shitty wine i proceeded to burst into tears in the muddle of a club#because tyey pkayed Numb like 4 minths after chester's passing#and i was NOT READY#all my band posters have fallen off my walls pretty mych with the passage of time#bit I'll never not have a pucture of Chester within easy view#he's spent like 7 years next to my bathroom door lmao sprry my guy#if im ever brave enough to get a tattoo my first will for sure be lp related#either that or a star in each ankle for my beloved Dougie#dougie deserves a whole separe post tbh#I'd stick amd poke them myself but I've proven time and time again that i absolutely CANNOT draw stars lmaoo#i did stars on books at Christmas amd oof i fekt called out seeing how awful theh wer#npt simething to freehand#so ima gp sit dowm-#edit: clearly i cannot spell i am so sorru#I'm laughing at how autocorrect went '😬😬😬 yeahhhh i ain't getting involved in her dyslexia-' 😅#i can't spell at the best of times much less rn-
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use to be friends with this guy who called me ableist for saying something was crazy and then proceeded to judge me for the things i do bc of my mental illness
#ex friend chronicles#whenever i say “i used to be friends with this guy” it is the same guy#i have so many stories abt him#like how he only addressed me with they/them pronouns before i came out#and as soon as i was like “hey i use they/them pronouns” he ONLY addressed me as she/her#he also blatantly refused to use it/its bc it was “dehumanizing” and “made him uncomfortable”#bro that's the point#im sorry it makes u uncomfortable??#HOW R U TRANS AND BEING TRANSPHOBIC#MAKE IT MAKE SENSEEEEEE#and then he acted like it was my fault 💀💀#ok bro#u dropped out in ur last year of high school#I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT.#ZIP. LOCK.#LMFAOAOAOAOA
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"give me a beer, a lullaby, and a word in my ear" -guy at a speed dating event in my dream
#dream log#also had a dream that this green alien came up to me on the street and like wanted me to pick it up and take it somewhere#the like video game objective changed to#changed to go home#but i didnt know where that was so i just started running#but as i. running the alien is like bouncing and it starts blushing#and later when i put in down to kind ageg my bearings its like super wet#between the legs and im like. oh man i think i need to fuck this thing#and i know theirs a game mechannic where you can have sex in bushes and stiff but im like 'no ill just go home first' but when i pick the#alien back up i get a 'failed objective' notification cause i never made it home i guess :(#and another dream. i was back in middle school math. there was a seat that was right infront of and right next to two people i was friends#with plus super close to my crush (other side of my friend) and there was a guy sitting there#but he was like. literally a fly. so i snapped and he just dropped dead.#and i got to sit there. my friend then was like “see this?” and pointed to her lip#and i wa slike “yeah” even though i didnt see anything#and she was like “you can hide a lot of your burdens but you cant hide a hickey” and i was like. man. am i supposed to do somehting sbout#that? idk im pretty sure this is a dream. did she actually say this to me before? am i supposed to do somehting now?“. but then the dream#ended#THEN these are out of order but then i had a dream i was in some sort of summer camp thing? people kept going home. my friend M. went home#home and left me a bunch of her clothes. one of the guys asked some sort of question about sleeping with him. and i was like “no? lol.”#then i invited a different guy to come watch me change and that first guy was i guess also in the room and was like “you know people can se#you through the window right?“ and i was like ”duh. its ohio. thats kinda the point.“#so. whatever that one means.#THEN last one THEN my cousin drove me to an abandoned trailer to explore and it had “too lo” or something spray painted on it or somehting#so then he finished the word to say “too long” or somehting of that nature. and then spray panted the handle of the door blue#and we went in side but the inside was all done up? like really fucking fancy#the kitched was completely lainted in this van gogh style and my cousin goes “this isnt haunted... its fixed up.”#so wel left. i think be showed me something else before that too but i dont remember#in the summer camp one i spent a long time trying to find these snake/pomegranate earings? they were blue abd green
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i've had college will.ry on the brain all damn day and actually i think i should change william and henry's canon first meeting to like. they meet in college, hit it off, william immediately tries to hook up with henry ( he is not immune to pretty redheads ), and it flies completely over henry's head. like, literally ends up in william's dorm room and still isn't aware he's being hit on
#—— ✧ ooc »#.tbd.#i promise my henry isn't this oblivious as he gets older#but in college he is. not going to register that he's being hit on PERIOD but esp by a guy#william: [head in hands]: you thought i actually invited you here to study. / henry: yeah that's what you said.#william fuckign. leaning on the wall getting in henry's space. talking low being all visibly flirty. henry thinking literally NOTHING of it#don't get me wrong my henry is SO immediately attracted to william he just doesn't recognize it which sends even more mixed signals#william in his dorm room DESPERATELY trying to drop hints because he can't figure out if henry's straight or oblivious#please gods somebody let me write this. with either my william or henry i don't care just like. it's SO funny to me#btw i legally can't make fun of henry for this because in high school a girl literally asked to be introduced to me & then for my number#and i didn't realize for TWO FUCKING DAYS that she was hitting on me#i was like sitting at home reading a text from her when i went ''OH'' fksdhfdhfsalfd
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first | poly!marauders
pairing: poly!marauders (james, remus, & sirius) x fem!reader
summary: virginity loss trope :)
warnings: smut (MDNI 18+), language, gender swapped dorcas cus i said so 🤷🏻♀️
────── ☾ ──────
“That’s ridiculous,” you said, body halting as the staircase began to shift beneath you, “and completely untrue.”
“Oh come on, you never do anything interesting! For your sake, it has to be true,” Sirius teased.
You turned to him, mouth open in offense. “I’m plenty interesting.”
“But not interesting enough to lose your virginity to Meadowes in the library during fourth year?” Remus raised an eyebrow.
“No! It didn’t happen!” you protested, “now please, let it go.”
“How would a rumor like that even get out if it isn’t true?” James asked genuinely.
“Probably because everyone knows Meadowes has the hots for her. Bet you he started it himself,” Remus answered, distaste evident in his voice.
“Are you three done now?” you asked, whispering the common room password and letting the boys in.
“So if it isn’t true, how did you lose it?” Sirius pressed.
You looked at him stunned, eyes wide in disbelief that he would ask you something like that out of the blue.
“Absolutely not,” you said, raising a finger toward him, “I’m not playing that game.”
“Oh come on!” Sirius raised his hands and smiled, “you’re no fun.”
“Yeah, now I’m curious,” James continued on, “if not Dorcas, who?”
You sighed, placing your books down and tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, turning toward them exasperated. “Why does it matter?”
“You know seventeen of the girls I’ve slept with by heart,” Sirius replied, “I’d say it’s only fair.”
“Sirius, you told me about seventeen of the girls you’ve slept with. Willingly. Without me asking. Ever,” you said, earning a laugh from James at your disgust.
They followed you up the stairs to your dorm, empty from everyone sneaking off to a party in the Ravenclaw common room that you were supposed to be getting ready for, but alas, you were late and distracted.
You sat down in front of your vanity mirror, ready to start applying makeup, when Remus placed a hand on the desk in front of you, leaning his face in close to you, his hair falling slightly in front of his face. He was completely in your personal space.
“Come on, Y/N, tell us who got to fuck you first.”
Remus’ voice was low, and his breath fanned your face as he spoke. You locked eyes with him, a sigh leaving your chest that you weren’t aware you were holding in. You were nervous to have him this close.
“No one has. Sorry to disappoint. Now drop it, will you?”
Remus didn’t move. You continued to look up into his eyes, your voice a little shaky, and you didn’t know what to do. You moved to get up, but Remus caught your chin between his fingers, pulling your attention back to him. “Meaning what?”
“Did you not hear me? Cus you’re like 6 inches away from me, so if you didn’t, you need to get your hearing checked,” you said, annoyed at your current predicament, just wanting to make the embarrassing conversation end. Remus finally let you stand, but Sirius and James were right behind you, stopping you from leaving the room. You opted to sit on your bed.
“You guys are insufferable.”
Sirius cleared his throat. “So you’re-“ he trailed off.
“A virgin, yes, wow, how crazy of me. You know, it’s not that weird, you all just have a personal body count higher than everyone at this school combined. And everyone else’s body count includes you. Can we please just forget about this?” you begged.
“Such attitude,” James teased, “from such a good girl.”
“Oh, so I’m a goodie two-shoes now that you’ve all discovered I’ve never had sex?”
“Kinda, yeah,” James giggled.
“Fuck you guys,” you sighed, partially lighthearted and partially annoyed, “it was my choice. You think I couldn’t have screwed Dorcas Meadowes in the library if I wanted to?”
No one had a response. Sirius’ nostrils flared, and Remus sighed. They almost seemed… jealous? at the thought of you and someone else.
You four were ridiculously close, anyone could see that, and you would be lying if you said you haven’t thought about them in that way, but you were best friends, and you didn’t want to risk ruining that.
“You ever think about, like, just doing it?” Sirius asked.
“What?” you replied.
“Do you ever think about just saying fuck it and asking someone, like, I don’t know, one of us, to just take your virginity?”
Your breathing caught in your chest. You stared at Sirius, a million thoughts coming to your head but you couldn’t articulate any of them. You had no idea what to say.
“I mean, I’ve thought about losing my virginity, yeah, that’s normal,” you explained.
“To one of us?” Remus asked.
You could lie. You could act disgusted at the question and walk away now, or, you could tell the truth, and risk ruining your entire friendship. You could also tell the truth and potentially gain everything you wanted.
Your voice became small, your eyes watching your hands fidget in your lap, “maybe.”
The boys all exchanged a look between one another.
James was the only one who was able to pull himself together. “W-who?”
You titled your head up at him. “What?”
James sat down on the bed next to you. “Which one of us?”
You could physically see all the boys tense up, ready to be filled with either pride or jealousy. Sirius and Remus were staring daggers at you, anxiously awaiting your answer. James kept his eyes on you as well, trying to make you feel less intimidated and tense than Sirius and Remus were.
Your eyes darted between all of them, “I-“
You were evidently nervous, and Remus felt bad. He knelt on the ground in front of you, taking your hands in his own. It was the most intimate gesture you’d received from him yet. He kept his voice soft. “Angel, you don’t have to tell us, but we really want to know. I promise none of us will be too hurt. Please,” he almost begged.
You sighed. You weren’t worried because you only thought about one of them, you were worried because you were embarrassed to tell them the truth. You took a deep breath. It was now or never. “All of you.”
They were not prepared for that answer.
Remus and James stared at you and tried to process your words. Sirius was more of an “act on impulse” and “speak without thinking” kind of guy.
“Fuck off,” he said, “all of us?”
“Mhm.”
“Like at the same time?” he pushed.
“Sirius-“ Remus warned.
“No, no, I wanna hear you say it,” he said, attention back on you, “I wanna hear you say that you’ve thought about losing your virginity to all three of us. At the same time. I wanna hear you say that you’ve thought about us fucking you.” He was standing dangerously close to you now.
“I- I have,” you said, blush evident in your cheeks.
Sirius growled. “Remus, move.”
“Excuse me?” Remus snapped back.
“Move.”
Remus sighed and moved out of the way so that Sirius was standing directly in front of you. “You stop us if there’s anything you don’t like. Understood?”
You nodded your head, but that wasn’t enough.
“Words, baby.”
“Yes,” you retried.
Sirius gave you a small smile before grabbing your face in his hands, tilting your head up and leaning down to give you a long, intimate kiss. Once you had settled in, he deepened the kiss, his carnal desires taking over. He slowly leaned you back on the bed, your legs still hanging off the mattress, as he placed one knee next to your waist, holding himself up as he continued kissing you. When your back hit the mattress, you held the back of Sirius’s head to keep him in place.
You felt one of the boys behind Sirius, pulling your pants off and leaving your lower half nearly exposed.
Sirius flopped down on the bed next to you, still kissing you as you ran your fingers through his hair.
James slowly kissed up your thigh, throwing both of your legs over his shoulders as he kissed your underwear right above your heat. You gasped, but Sirius didn’t let you break the kiss.
“Sirius, come on, give her a break,” James pleaded, “I wanna hear her.”
Sirius groaned into the kiss before breaking it, looking down to James in between your legs. “Well, go on then.”
Sirius was still feral and needy, pulling your shirt over your head and ripping off your bra, immediately going to grab and kiss at your breasts. You were embarrassed at the exposure, but everyone was moving on your body so fast that you didn’t have time to think about your body being on display.
James pushed your underwear to the side and kissed your folds, causing you to squeal. This was an unfamiliar feeling, but you were growing wetter and wetter by the minute. He pushed your folds open with his tongue, licking and flicking at your clit. You whined and threw your head back. He continued his actions, peeking up at you from between your legs, watching you come apart as he ate you out like a man starved.
“Take it easy,” you heard Remus say from behind your head, “you gotta remember she’s never done this.”
James moaned into your cunt as a response, sending a shiver up your body, causing your legs to shake slightly. He kept sucking and licking circles around your bud, and you couldn’t help but grab the hair at the back of his head, pushing him closer into you.
“Good girl,” Sirius cooed from beside you, touching every exposed part of your body that he could.
As James’ tongue quickened, your whines grew louder, but you tried to tame them and save yourself further embarrassment. Remus noticed and was not happy. He grabbed your face and forced your neck to look backward at him. “Are you holding back?”
“N-no,” you said anxiously, not sure if it was the truth.
“Ah, but I think you are,” he started, “and we don’t accept that. Let us hear you.”
“But I’m emb-“
“I don’t care if you’re embarrassed. Stop holding back. Now.”
Remus’s demanding and controlling demeanor only added at the pleasure James was giving you with his mouth. You did as he said. James continued to quicken his pace, whines and moans falling from your lips.
“Does that feel good?” Remus asked.
“Yes, Rem, I-“
“No fair!” Sirius suddenly exclaimed, “if you ask her all the questions, you get to hear her moan your name. Selfish prick.”
“Are you gonna let this be about her or what?” Remus retorted.
“I am! I should be asking you the same thing, why do you always get to be in control of everything?”
They bickered back and forth for a few minutes, but the entire time, James remained focused on you. He watched from between your legs as his tongue made you squirm and moan, and he had you nearly seeing stars.
You desperately tried to tell him you were going to come, but Remus and Sirius were too busy bickering for James to hear you. You tapped at his head to signal him, and he got the message, sucking at your bud until you finally came. Your chest rapidly rose and fell as James continued to lick you until he had tasted every last drop of cum from your hole, standing up and placing a wet kiss on your lips.
“What, did you just give up?” Sirius asked when he saw James standing.
“No, idiot, she came,” James replied, “you two dickheads were too busy arguing to notice.”
Remus’s nostrils flared. “You just let us keep arguing?”
“She tried to say something!” James defended you, and partly himself.
“Baby, you ok?” Remus checked in.
“Mhm,” you nodded.
“You got a little more in you?”
“Mhm.”
“You want me?”
“Mhm.”
Remus pulled his pants and boxers down and climbed on top of you, pulling your underwear completely off of you as he placed his knees on either side of your waist.
“You sure?” he asked, wanting to confirm your consent.
“Yes,” you responded.
“And you’re sure you’re okay with it being me?”
Instead of responding with words, you tilted your head up and kissed Remus, assuring him that you wanted it to be him. You would have been okay with any of the boys, but Remus was always so in control, it made sense that he would be your first. Your relationship with him was always a little less silly, and a little more intimate, than your relationship with the other two.
“Are you ready?” he checked, lining up his already hard cock at your entrance.
“Yeah,” you replied, “just- please be nice, okay?”
Remus smiled, “of course, baby.”
You nodded at him and locked eyes as he slowly pushed into you, a long gasp leaving your lips as he filled you up. His cock was bigger than you thought it would be, and it was taking you a while to adjust to his size.
“Shit, Rem,” you breathed out, “you should have warned me that you’re that fucking big.”
Sirius growled next to you, your words driving him crazy. He couldn’t help but pull out his cock, stroking it slowly as he watched you.
Remus gave you plenty of time to adjust before you nodded at him, signaling that he could move. He started slowly, pushing in and out of you as an excruciatingly slow pace. It burned, and you almost told Remus to stop, but after a few minutes, the pain subsided, and the pleasure took over.
A particularly filthy moan left your lips, and Sirius cursed under his breath. James appeared behind your head, stroking your hair as Remus’s head dropped to your shoulder as he began to pick up the pace.
“Shit, baby,” he moaned, “you feel so fucking good.”
“You look so fucking good,” Sirius breathed.
“Thank you, Siri,” you cried out, causing Sirius to cum in his hand, the nickname making him lose all control.
“What a good girl,” Remus spoke, his thrusts quickening until he was causing your body to jolt upward with each hit from the force, “you’re doing so well.”
James placed a kiss on your forehead and you reached up to grab his hand for leverage. You squeezed his hand, the pleasure between your legs becoming almost too much.
“Relax, baby, you’re being such a good girl,” James said.
Remus’ breathing quickened. “You’re so tight, angel, if you keep squeezing my cock like that I’m not gonna last,” he warned.
“I c-can’t help it,” you told him.
“I know baby,” he replied.
“I d- don’t know how to m- make it stop,” you said.
Remus giggled, “you don’t have to make it stop. It feels good for me.”
“Oh,” you whimpered, “that’s good.”
Remus giggled again. You were so cute, even in the middle of losing your virginity. Remus leaned down and kissed you, your lips moving in harmony as he began to pound into you. Any sense of kindness and mercy he had for this being your first time went out the window when you kissed.
Your moans grew louder and louder, and you tried to cover your mouth with your hand to quiet yourself down.
“Ah ah ah,” Sirius tsked, pulling your hand away, “none of that.”
“Rem- Rem- I-“
“I know angel, let go.”
Your high crashed over you again, your hips bucking upward to meet Remus’ final few thrusts before he came inside of you, the feeling of you squeezing him becoming too much for him to hold on. Remus stayed inside of you for a moment, watching your face as you calmed down from your high, a slight shake in your legs.
“What a good girl,” James praised, kissing your forehead.
“You okay?” Remus checked in, pulling out of you and standing in front of you.
“Mhm,” you hummed, “‘m okay.”
Sirius leaned down to kiss you again. “Everything you imagined?”
“Mhm.” You were too tired to formulate complete words or sentences.
“You wanna skip the party?” Sirius continued.
“Mhm.”
“You wanna cuddle and watch a movie?”
“Mhm.” You shifted so your head was resting on Sirius’ lap as he began to stroke your hair.
Sirius smiled. “And then maybe round two.”
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